The End · 1:44pm
I've written many words, sentences, and paragraphs in the time I've been here, on FimFiction. Ever since January 20th, 2012, when I first discovered pony. Ever since February 22nd, when a little story with only two brief words as a title and a minimalistic cover art went up on Equestria Daily. I've written so much. Written characters, sceneries, conversations. Or written nothing at all, twittering away with my friends on Skype or IRC. But these words may be some of the hardest I've written.
Now, I've always had a penchant for the dramatic; that's just what I am and what I will always be. I can't fix that, and I won't pretend I'm not indulging in myself a little in this journal. But these next sentences are genuine.
My entire life, I have opted for the easy way out. I've taken the road most travelled, I've stuck with what I'm familiar to, and I've always done what's easiest to obtain the quickest satisfaction. I've been doing this my entire life, and it's been perfectly fine so long as I didn't think about the future too much. Because thinking of that was usually painful and difficult. All these years I've lived thinking that life was better here under the sand. But I've just now started to see the wall I'm on a collision course with. Pony fiction has become my latest escape. I write things, sometimes half-assed, sometimes pouring every scrap of my soul into the words I put on the page. And in return, you all tell me how pretty or shitty it is, and I yuk it up with all the other pony fic high-and-mightys, feeling rather swell. It's been a delicious drug. But I'm through overdosing. It's time for me to give myself a mighty big kick in the ass.
So I want to thank you all. I want to thank you all for making these past few months some of the most enjoyable ones I've ever experienced. I want to thank you all for being there and helping me smile and frown and laugh and swear. I want to thank you all for providing me this unforgettable experience. I want to thank you all for making me Chromosome. There are so many of you I want to thank, but I wouldn't dare name you individually for fear I may forget someone. But you know who you are.
Blah, Chromosome, you oaf, get on with it!
In approximately 12 or so hours from now, taking the time I need to sleep and say goodbye, I will be logging out of FimFiction for the last time. All ongoing stories will be cancelled. All side projects will cease. I will vanish from Skype. I will vanish from IRC. It will be as if I had never been there. In time, you'll forget me. That's just how that works. And I'll have to live with that.
It's going to be painful, to click that little button and put this up for all of you to see. It's painful for me to admit defeat and realize that the way I've been living life has been wrong. But that's OK. Because I haven't had a good bit of pain in a really long time. I imagine it's going to be refreshing.
And hey, who knows? Maybe this goodbye isn't forever. Maybe once I've accomplished what needs to be done, I'll look back and somehow still feel the same way that I did all those months ago when I first heard the tale of the banishment of Nightmare Moon. And whether you remember me or not... maybe I'll come back, meekly knocking on the door to see if you'll have me. But not for a long time. Not until I've decided what's most important in my life.
But, hey, what do you care?
I'm just some guy on the internet who wrote stories about pastel horses.