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715 members follow Chatoyance

Chatoyance follows 294 members

Biography

I am a human-shaped unicorn, and I write stories and draw pictures. My only religion is Friendship, and my only politics is Kindness. I write stories to try to comprehend the native simians that live on the planet I'm kind of stuck on. I know I'll never figure them out, but it's fun to try.

TOTAL WORDS WRITTEN: 1,178,462

1,068,044 completed works + 110,418 and climbing

The Lost In The Herd Series:

One: The Big Respawn,

Two: Euphrosyne Unchained,

Three: Letters From Home,

Four: Teacup, Down On The Farm

The Conversion Bureau Novels:

27 Ounces: A story of eight and one half ponies

The Taste Of Grass

The Conversion Bureau: Code Majeste

The Conversion Bureau: The 800 Year Promise

The Conversion Bureau: Going Pony

Recombinant 63: A Conversion Bureau Story

HUMAN in Equestria: A Conversion Bureau Story

Adrift Off Fiddler's Green: A Conversion Bureau Story

The very first and original

Conversion Bureau Group

archives only the best Three Rules Compatible stories!


The Novellas:

The PER: Michelson and Morely

The Reasonably Adamant Down With Celestia Newfoal Society!

The Short Stories:

Her Last Possession

The Conversion Bureau: PER Equitum

The Conversion Bureau: Brand New Universe

Tales Of Los Pegasus

The Poly Little Pony

Optimalverse Works:

Friendship Is Optimal: Caelum Est Conterrens

Injectorverse Works:

I.D. - That Indestructible Something

The Non-Conversion Bureau Fanfics:

The Ice Cream Pony Summer

Around The Bend

  

My Current Projects

My Highest Rated Stories

My Personal Best

  • 27 Ounces 27 Ounces is the story of eight and one half ponies, set within the Conversion Bureau universe. by Chatoyance 78,013 words · 6,697 views · 371 likes · 124 dislikes
  • The Taste Of Grass Within The Conversion Bureau Universe, Newfoal immigrants face settling new lands within Equestria. Unfortunately, not one of them knows how their new universe actually works. by Chatoyance 114,602 words · 5,662 views · 355 likes · 105 dislikes
  • The Conversion Bureau: Teacup, Down On The Farm Years after the last human is gone, a Newfoal must face that the past never truly vanshes. by Chatoyance 40,225 words · 4,491 views · 229 likes · 98 dislikes
  • The Conversion Bureau: The 800 Year Promise The only surviving artifact from Earth may hold the secret reason for the emergence of Equestria. by Chatoyance 80,235 words · 3,633 views · 193 likes · 116 dislikes
  • The Conversion Bureau: Code Majeste Earth pony, pegasus pony, unicorn; a newfoal will become one. But there is provision for one other. by Chatoyance 56,897 words · 8,860 views · 365 likes · 131 dislikes

My Most Groundbreaking Works

  • Friendship Is Optimal: Caelum Est Conterrens Set in the Optimalverse, a middle-aged woman confronts what emigration to Equestria - uploading to a virtual existence - really means. But can she truly understand - and more importantly, should she trust the artificial intelligence Celestia? by Chatoyance 56,871 words · 15,343 views · 507 likes · 128 dislikes
  • I.D. - That Indestructible Something Gregoria Samson awakens transformed into an Equestrian pony - yet no other human being can percieve her new body in any way. What is the incredible, monumental truth behind her impossible change? by Chatoyance 97,700 words · 3,782 views · 352 likes · 132 dislikes
  • The Conversion Bureau: Brand New Universe The Anniversary Day for The Conversion Bureau Genre is celebrated with new visions of the concept! by Chatoyance 25,879 words · 6,046 views · 164 likes · 166 dislikes
  • The Conversion Bureau: Tales Of Los Pegasus Formerly Los Angeles, The Equestrian Barrier approaches. Both Newfoals and the last humans prepare. by Chatoyance 90,622 words · 3,294 views · 161 likes · 156 dislikes
  • Around The Bend Twilight Sparkle takes a shortcut and discovers a street that doesn't exist on any map. by Chatoyance 16,713 words · 4,538 views · 258 likes · 131 dislikes
  • Viewing 856 - 860 of 860
#860 · 1w, 22h ago · 7 · 2 ·

I miss you Chat, I hope you are doing well.:pinkiesmile:

#859 · 1w, 1d ago · 8 · 2 ·

I hope very much that you are having a happy Thanksgiving.

#858 · 1w, 2d ago · 7 · 1 ·

>>1528608

It is hard to say our lady is an elusive one.

I do hope she gets back soon though I want to show her the Ponyta I named after her

Its only fitting she be a pony in the Pokemon world as well.

This is my first time playing Pokemon I didn't even know there was a pony pokemon

#857 · 1w, 5d ago · 7 · 1 ·

Aye, I do hope you're okay.

#856 · 1w, 5d ago · 10 · 1 ·

Been missing you Chat. Hope you'll come back to us some day. *hughugs tight*

>>1528608 Oh, hello there :) didn't realize you were a fan as well. We keep meeting eachother in the most interesting of places! The next time I see you at a meetup maybe we should talk about some of them.

  • Viewing 856 - 860 of 860
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Chatoyance's Top Favourites

  • The Ambassador's Son A colt loses his family, Celestia deems his best hope lies not with ponies, but a dragon. by Midnightshadow 85,462 words · 11,688 views · 961 likes · 35 dislikes
  • The Midnight Run Some say Earth ponies have no magic... but that isn't true. They are the secret custodians of nature by Midnightshadow 3,150 words · 3,045 views · 233 likes · 15 dislikes
  • The Contest Fluttershy returns to defend her title as Quiet Game world champion. by Cold in Gardez 6,714 words · 30,385 views · 1,560 likes · 22 dislikes
  • Friendship is Optimal Hasbro just released the official My Little Pony MMO, with an A.I. Princess Celestia to run it. by Iceman 38,698 words · 33,130 views · 2,266 likes · 76 dislikes
  • Railroad Seven-Three A Conversion Bureau story. A small team of human contractors escorts a few ponies to the Barrier. by Defoloce 28,819 words · 1,381 views · 69 likes · 15 dislikes

Chatoyance's Top Favourites

Chatoyance's Top Favourites

Chatoyance's Top Favourites

  • Petriculture Twilight tries to figure out how rock farming works. by Kwakerjak 6,716 words · 38,219 views · 2,796 likes · 40 dislikes
  • Rocky Road Sometimes it's hard to fit in. Sometimes it takes something taken away to find out what you have. by Midnightshadow 9,885 words · 2,127 views · 44 likes · 12 dislikes
  • Striped Like Me This tale's Bridle Gossip, but slightly redone. Now AJ's alone in her Poison Joke Fun! by Fernin 12,530 words · 16,249 views · 413 likes · 11 dislikes
  • The Book of Friendship Two ambiguously gay Mormon ponies. by BillyColt 183,910 words · 4,403 views · 295 likes · 22 dislikes

Chatoyance's Top Favourites

Aug
26th
2014

I'm typing this from my lap, on a new keyboard I am unused to. Had to get a new one, we couldn't connect my old keyboard - they don't make those ancient connectors anymore, and the cable needed is still in a box. Everything I own is in a box, and will be for the next three to four months at least.

Hah! How the mighty have fallen, eh? Once I lived in a palatial home, now I have no room of my own. My world, for now, is the far corner of what - in a normal person's house - would likely be the 'living room'. The house is filled with hundreds of boxes, and no way to unpack them. Why? It's a little bit Sokoban, and a little bit 'guess what's in the box' and a little bit 'we are so fucked'.

Intel got caught with their fingers in the European cookie jar, as you may recall, and they had to pay billions in fines. Worse, they got very complacent and ignored the rise of mobile computing entirely, so the pacific rim ate their lunch with cheap, easily modified, dedicated chips for consumer goods. Desperate to look good to stockholders, they did the usual American Capitalist Trick: fire most of the workers who actually do the work in a way that denies them any benefits or severance of any kind. Suddenly, without employees, they look great on paper!

The way they did this is to announce that if one wanted to work for Intel any longer, one must move to the region around Portland, Oregon. Naturally, this meant that more that 75% of their employees in the divisions targeted would be screwed, and 'choose' to leave their jobs of their 'own volition', thus making their quitting their 'free choice' and thus ineligible for any benefits of any kind - the slackers! The losers! Stupid peasants with homes and communities and family obligations and relatives and lack of resources to move at the drop of a hat!

It was evil, but damn clever. Force people to have to quit because moving is not possible for most people. Brilliant. Dirty as hell, of course, but cunning.

That still left tens of thousands of people flooding into a fairly small region, Hillsboro. It was sheer luck we found an overpriced house at all - there is a huge bubble going on as folks gouge the hell out of the influx of Intel folks. House-flip-a-go-go! Gold rush!

Bottom line? It is impossible to get a contractor to fix a house or turn a garage into a room. And that is a problem, you see, since the entire plan was to convert the garage into my room. For me to live in. That isn't happening. It's so massive an issue, that the guy that set up our internet? He is part of a small army of folks brought in from Colorado just to hook up internet here in Hillsboro. They're letting him go back to Colorado for a week to see his family, then it's another month of hooking up folks like us... the Intel Invasion. They don't have enough native cable guys here to do the job. Consider that.

My family is hoping that maybe by October or November, it might be rainy and miserable enough that the contractors here might be unable to work outside - or unwilling to work outside - and it might be possible to get some to do interior work at last, and thus finally build me a room to live in. It's a hope, anyway.

Until then, I am the empress of cardboard boxes that I can't get into... because there is no place to unpack them. I have six pieces of clothing, my shoes, my computer and monitor, my 360 and PS4, a chair, my toothbrush and the medicines I have to take, one garbage can, and my purse with my ipad in it. This is my world. This is my life. I am slowly going through some of the mis-labled boxes, checking them, resealing them, and writing their contents down (the packing crew did a random job, just insane) to find, well, things. More clothes to wear. Even one game for my PS4 to play. But, it's rough going - the house is chock-a-block with boxes. We were entirely depending on having my room done, so that my stuff could get unpacked, so there would be room to unpack other things. That isn't happening. We also expected that the boxes would be correctly labeled too. Nope.

If I had thought, even for a moment, that everything would be lies and bullshit, and that it would all turn out to be a clusterfuck... I would have done some things differently.

So, here is my big lesson to you, in case you have to move:

Expect that nobody is telling the truth about anything, that everything will be fucked no matter what, and that nothing and no man can be trusted. Prepare accordingly: take enough stuff you need to live normally in the car with you, and don't let said stuff get packed up on the moving truck. Even if you have to make six or ten five hour trips back and forth to do it, do it. Keep what you need close to you. Because it will all go horribly wrong. When it does, you will have all of your necessities with you in your fortress of cardboard boxes, and you will be alright until things eventually become rational again.

I didn't do the above, so now, for the next many months, I must peer at a monitor stacked on six shelf boards balanced on two incomplete drawer shells and type from my lap.

Because, in hell, there are no desks.

Anyway, we are in a new house, there is a lot wrong with it, but it will get fixed in time, and maybe in enough months, I will have a room again. And a surface to type on. (In the mean time, I am experimenting with using boards across my chair arms, tilted boards balanced on the edge of my monitor base, and pillows with boards on them as ways to get that 'desk feeling' back. Something will work, eventually. Surely.)

When I get used to my new keyboard (this one is USB! Huzzah! I am finally in the new decade!) I will continue with my writing.

So, for the too-long, didn't read crowd: I am down and (relatively) safe, the move is sort of over, and I am the empress of cardboard boxes, all hail me in my palace of cardboard!

Lastly, thank you to everyone who has been so supportive and kind to me during this fairly awful situation. You are wonderful, and I am grateful for you.

All hail Cardboardia!

May your boxes never crush

A land not unlike Minecraft

Someday the toilets will flush

All hail the Empress

ensconced in cardboard wall

one day the mythical contractors

will build her unicorn stall

All hail Cardboardia!

who knows what's tucked inside?

Intel and life and human greed

will ever take us for a ride!

When you gaze upon a cardboard box, remember: the empress gazes back at you. (No, she doesn't. She's too busy feeling sorry for herself. The stroppy bint.)

Yay.

- Petal Chatoyance

Chatoyance · 497 views · Report

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