It had been a while since the past era started, 20 years to be exact. Today, 2nd April arrived, and what shall I say. It's my birthday again! Don't jump up to congratulate me now, I still hate that. The reason why I actually use my time to inform FiMFiction of this, is what comes with it.
But let's not rush it.
My favorite book is "Also sprach Zarathustra", written by Friedrich Nietzsche in the years 1883 to 1885. That's 130 years in the past, walking over two world wars and multiple commercial depressions. After I was born in 1993 and learned reading and everything, this particular book made the past years of my life feel like the whole world was created and suddenly evolving into something really, really big. A book, written 130 years ago, made three years feel like twenty and even gave twenty years the sound of eternity. It's a quiet amazing fact, but also a fact that goes along with years of personal depressions, suicidal tendencies and a time of world-enraptured emotions and thoughts. I searched for answers, and when I found them, I didn't accept them. Because an answer never can contain the same eternal, sticking feeling of a question. Life felt like a short pain before entering the eternal realms of death, where pure beauty waited for those who were foolish enough to live.
In the past months, where I entered this website as a mayor part of becoming an active writer myself, this changed. While life is fragile, it's one thing that stands against all the beauties of death: it's colourful. Despite of what people complain about, life with all his wonders contains such a joy in creation, in creating, that it only can be the most enjoyable thing to suffer. I felt how thoughts can rip the earth apart with their creative energy. There's another reason to today's atheism than resignation. Life itself is such a pulsating beauty, such a high value, that no day can be wasted to longing for eternal relief, as there is nothing to be relieved from.
In the past era, my childhood and my early youth, I was growing, learning the basic principles of this world. It all began with unquestioned happiness and moved slowly into a time of careless living, what finally ended in this dark time, where bad things happened, as my family was torn apart more or less, and everything went black. With writing, I began to find another path to follow, without abandoning myself.
Thoughts and words carry all the energy to create and destruct worlds, and that energy contained in the beauty of life, with the birds sitting outside my window, the cool air blowing across my face when I'm out with my dog, and which mystically still is below zero degree Celsius in April, and with the sun rays slowly rising at the horizon, I can't see myself enjoying anything more than forming my ideas into words. This feeling shall introduce a new era to my life, an era of life and joy. Although this was a slow process, all it needs now execute this change is to change certain habits, to adjust my life. Because this is another point of my changed view. Life is fragile, sure, but the time we have is so little, that every second should be used to gain the maximum amount of joy, active or by supporting further happenings. And when writing achieves that, why should I listen to music, watch TV or visit pointless websites? It's senseless.
With that, I come to the reason why I am posting this. First off, I know that I'm delaying the next chapter of 'Luna's Thoughts' since felt years. I'm feel sorry for it, as I want to continue it myself, but I'm actually writing 'Of Law and Friendship', what needs to be finished. The problem is not that I'm writing too less to achieve that, judging by my calculated word-count I'm in time. But I didn't stick to the plan, and that threw everything around.
I wanted to write the first three chapters of it (as it is a fragment), each containing 3000 to 5000 words. But right now, the first chapter counts 13000 words itself, still rising. Suddenly, my worst enemy isn't action itself anymore, or life or the sun (well, the sun still is... that's a complicated topic), but time. I'll try to cut down my non-productive time as well as possible, so that I can spend more time in getting down the words.
Sadly, all of this didn't allow me to shed a tear for knighty. Prank or not, time will tell. My words, however, aren't in the sign of this year's Fool's Day.