There is a lot of stuff I'd like to say here. You have been warned. I'm going to start off with a little rambling about myself so that you can understand a bit better where I'm coming from with this post.
I am not a clever pony. By this I'm not referring to intelligence (I do have my fair share of that ), but I am oblivious as hell. For those of you familiar with Sherlock, it's the opposite of what he does. I don't know a whole lot about people because I grew up in a fairly isolated community. This also goes for me- I am only now beginning to learn a little bit about myself and how I work and think. One thing that I do know about people is that we like to escape from our lives every now and then, and I am no exception. I more so than most, tend to deal with problems by avoiding them. As you can imagine, this doesn't end well very often. The problem from there is that instead of trying to fix the root cause of whatever it is that is wrong, I just go off and find another distraction.
Let me skip ahead a bit here and talk about something recent. Cutie Mark Con was this weekend, and I was fortunate enough to be in attendance for it. It was a fabulous experience and I met some really awesome people (ROBcakeran53, Cyril the Wolf) and went to some awesome panels. Overall, a great experience.
However, coming back from the con and the good times therein, I guess you might say reality slapped me in the face, quite literally. (It's about as painful as it sounds) When I got back, there were several problems that I'd let sit for faaaar too long that basically exploded in my face, all at once. Now, well, I'm at a crossroads. Like I mentioned in the preamble here, I tend to try and sweep my problems under the rug and hope they go away. It's a bad habit and if there's one thing I hate most about myself, that's it. After things hit the fan and I got a spare moment, before I even knew what I was doing I found myself sitting at my computer launching a game client. I hadn't even tried to do anything.
That's when I realized how much of a hole I'd dug myself into. I am at the point where I am trying to find a distraction from my distractions. That's where you guys come in. I have been neglecting MLP and fimfic for a while now; I didn't even realize just how long it's been since I wrote anything or did something of value. That was the last nail in the coffin when I got back- I'd gotten a question asking me if I was done writing for FiM.
I don't want to be done with FiM. I really, really love the people here, and the show, and the setting, and everything about Pony. However, I realize that it is, at the end of the day, just a distraction. Not that distractions are inherently bad, but if let out of hand, they take control of your life. I let myself out of control here, and just about everywhere else too.
This has been a lot of text, I know, but the gist of what I'm trying to say is that I'm at a really bad point right now. I need to seriously get my shit together or I will have to face some things that I'd really rather not, and there's no shoving this under the rug. I can't go on like I am now. So, in light of that, I am going to cut all the excess baggage from my life. This doesn't mean I'm leaving the fandom or anything remotely so drastic, but until I get things sorted out, I have to avoid spending too much time here or on any games of mine. I'll still check messages and such, but I can't promise that I'll be able to read, edit, or write Pony for a while.
I'm sorry that it's come to this. Hopefully I can fix things sooner rather than later, but I can't make any promises or estimates on when I can resume activity here. Thank you so much for sticking with me (some of you for almost two years! ), and I hope that upon my return sometime in the future I can make it up to you with a vengeance for all of the lost time.
tl;dr- I need to take a break from Pony. I'll be here, just not writing or editing or anything.