Update on Private Maximus · 6:03am
Hello, once again, Loyal Maximizers! (heh, c wut i did thar) Jake The Army Guy here once more with a brief update on Fearless Leader. But first, a brief story from my experience in the Army. Lemme tell you about Private Jeffers.
So, no shit,. there I was: 2003, Fort Knox, KY, for 19K, M1 Armor Crewman One-Station Unit Training. I had a buddy named Private Jeffers. Good guy, squared away, never made too many waves. One thing about him, however, that we didn't know: he was a furry. We later saw his artwork, and he was actually pretty good. In fact, he later did the designs for our platoon's t-shirts. Think I still have that somewhere in storage, but anyway. We found this out because one of his buddies on the forum he frequented got a hold of his address, and a whole bunch of his friends sent him letters addressed to his fursona. At the bottom of each letter, there was some cutesy furry picture. Oh, he caught some hell from DS, jokes and nicknames and the like. One day, one of the pictures was a bit more... risque than the rest. I will never forget that day, because in the butthole-cold of Fort Knox in the winter time, PVT Jeffers was in the front-leaning rest position in front of the entire company doing pushups, all the while shouting:
*down* TO FUCK
*up* A FOX!
We all busted out laughing, and subsequently got the shit smoked out of us, but it was totally worth it. And for the rest of that cycle, PVT Jeffers was PVY Yiffers.
I think this should start to seem familiar...
Anywho, by this point, PVT Bronius is well on his way in training. I have not been able to talk to him, mainly because it is inappropriate for a Drill Sergeant to be buddy-buddy with a private. However, I know the training cycle. SO, I can say that since he is still there, he has most likely completed:
*Land-Navigation course, both day and night.
*Eagle Tower, the 40-foot rappel tower
*The platoon obstacle course
*Basic Combat Lifesaver class, learning first-aid under fire
Most likely, he is about to start "White Phase," which is when he starts Basic Rifle Marksmanship and the Modern Army Combatives Program, a combination of Brazilian Ju-jitsu, Greco-Roman wrestling, and Russian Sambo. Yes, our beloved Bronius is fine on his way to becoming a soldier
Now, as to what you are all wondering: the letters. Well, a friend of his got a text about it, so yes, he has gotten them. However, if you remember back to when I first posted the blog, I said to include some R34 stuff. Upon talking with Cynewulf, we agreed that this was a bit much, so I edited the blog and sent messages to all saying to not do so. Apparently, one of y'all fired off a letter before I issued the retraction.
So, I contacted one of his Drill Sergeants—remember, I used to be a Drill in that company—and they have asked that the letters stop. Note that he is not in trouble in any way, shape or form. However, there are regulations about pornography being sent to troops. This is my fault. I should have remembered that. I take full responsibility on it, and I intend tomorrow on contacting his Drill and explaining the situation.
I do not know what Bronius thinks about all this, but in his message to his friend, he did not sound upset or angry. However, I will take the hit here about the porno thing. I will apologize to them, and it will all be sorted out. The joke has been played out, the "damage done," if you will. If you have already sent a letter, don;t stress over it, but please refrain from sending any more.
I will keep you all posted on our Dear Bronius' progress in the future, and he will be coming home for Christmas Exodus, so he can check in himself then. Hope you all had a great Thanksgiving!