Source

Wanted, dead or alive

Shagbark Shagbark@ponyfictionarchive.net
User ID: 25,781
Registered: 11th Apr 2012
Last Seen: 1h, 53m ago
Story views: 60,972

Do YOU want to join the Evil League of Evil?

There are two ways to join:

1.  Demonstrate your heinous nature through crimes and malicious acts disruptive to the fabric of society  Please, no tying people to railroad tracks or kidnapping sidekicks.  We get a dozen of those every week.  Show some creativity, or at least an ironic self-awareness of your lack thereof.  Legitimate evil activity include tumblring Dolan comics or writing alicorn OC fiction.  Document all evil nice activity and submit to the Evil League of Evil headquarters in Washington, D.C.

2.  Click the "Watch" button on this page.

He rides across the nation, the thoroughbred of sin

He got the application that you just sent in

It needs evaluation, so let the games begin

A heinous crime, a show of force

A murder would be nice of course

Bad Horse, Bad Horse, Bad Horse --

He’s Bad!

The Evil League of Evil is watching so beware

The grade that you receive will be your last we swear

So make the Bad Horse gleeful or he’ll make you his mare...

You’re saddled up, there’s no recourse

It’s Hi-Ho Silver

Signed, Bad Horse

If you know of any brony groups or events around Washington DC, let me know.  I based my avatar on a drawing by kim1486.

Evil League of Evil official business

#546608 · 4d, 1h ago · · ·
Reply 

>>546133 Perhaps

#546133 · 4d, 5h ago · · ·
Reply 

>>545344 It would have been harmless if it had been bad. Perhaps we can agree to call it "dangerous".

#545344 · 4d, 20h ago · 1 · ·
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I am

Conflicted.

I don't like the Modernism thing either, as a theory thing

And yet.

Prufrock is my favorite poem of all time

#527147 · 2w, 1h ago · 1 · ·
Reply 

ah, there it is. and here i thought you were pulling my leg. must be a delayed reaction.

much obliged, mr. evil horse, sir.

#486230 · 4w, 6d ago · · ·
Reply 

Wait... you took your favorites back.    Oh well. Thanks for the watch!

Oops - didn't mean to do that.  Sometimes it happens when I try to click the "email updates" box :derpyderp1: - especially on a tablet.

Re-favorited now.

#450542 · 7w, 3d ago · · ·
Reply 

>>450389  You made good comments on "Mortal". If you post something, I want to see it. If you don't, nothing lost.

#450389 · 7w, 3d ago · · ·
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Erm, thanks? Your attention fills me with bewildered gratitude. It's not like I wrote any stories :O

#417531 · 10w, 12h ago · · ·
Reply 

Got some serious Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde action going on lately.

#408527 · 10w, 5d ago · · ·
Reply 

>>408370  Nice! I appreciate your help in my reformation.

#408370 · 10w, 5d ago · · ·
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>>407946

It needs evaluation, so let the games begin ... dammit

Why not commence?

5 25781

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Index librorum prohibitorum


Moving On

Twenty years later, Celestia has for the second time taken on a new private student.  Twilight can no longer be the Faithful Student, but feels she has failed to become anything else.  She must find out what and who she now is—and the difference between these things.

(Non-Twilicorn universe.)

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Pony Tales

Brief stories about Equestria as it might have been—or perhaps, you may suspect in your darker hours, already is.

Most-recent first:

11. The ones who walk away from Equestria (DARK): Every year, ponies leave the magical land of Equestria, and are never heard from nor mentioned again.

-----

10. Sombra's Curse (comedy): The terrible curse Sombra unleashed that made him king, and stole his soul!

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9. The Pony: Once upon a midnight dreary, while I clicked weak and weary,

Thru many a vile and bilious image on slash-b of yore...

-----

8. Game of Immortals (Celestia, Discord; dark comedy):  Celestia likes to win—no matter which side she plays.

-----

7. Twenty-one! (Pinkie Pie, Twilight; comedy, horror?):  Twilight discovers the danger of asking Pinkie "why?"

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6. The Pony Side (comedy):  Darth Vader has more important things to share with Luke than who his father is.

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5. No Regrets (sad):  Looking back on her life, Twilight remembers how she treated Derpy, and faces some unpleasant truths about herself.

-----

4. Shipping Costs (comedy):  If you knew you were about to meet Celestia in the next life, you might ask yourself:  Did you leave the world a better place?  Did your friends know you loved them?  Should you have written thirty-nine chapters of Celestia clop-fiction?

-----

3. The Green Hills of Equestria (tragedy):  Vincent's big-game hunting trip was a success ... almost.

-----

2. Mare of the Rings (Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash; comedy, LotR):  The greatest could not be trusted with the Ring.  So Gandalf sought out the humblest.  Maybe too humble....

-----

1. Happy Thoughts (horror):  Her sun, happy to be in its place in the sky, wrapped the land in its warm embrace, and flowers bloomed in her hoofprints.  Celestia smiled.  It was going to be another perfect day in Equestria.  And all she had to do was think happy thoughts.  Again.

Cover by ModeratelyDeviant@DeviantArt

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The second chapter begins again in the middle, and changes it so that the ending means something different.  Concept for alternate universe 2 by Chessie.

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Now on EqD. Notice the sad tag. That means it's sad.

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BASED ON AN ORIGINAL CHARACTER BY DEVICE HERETIC!!! This is my first alicron Mary Sue self-insert fic, so plz b nice. Maybe Ill write moar if ppl like it

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Reviewed by Seattle's Angels. Includes drug use and cussing.

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The Detective and the Magician

5 stars on EqD!

To Holmes, she is always the mare.  In his eyes she eclipses the whole of her sex, and fills him with admiration and loathing.  Whether she in fact stole the Starry Night was ultimately beside the point.  What mattered to Holmes was that he had been matched at his own game, by a mare; that it had not been altogether unpleasant; and that she had caused him, however briefly, to turn his keen and unflinching gaze upon himself.

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Behind the Scenes

Spike is trying to film My Little Pony: Season 3, but the Elements of Harmony keep fighting, and Celestia thinks she can arrive on set late just because she's a goddess.  Not to mention the producer from Hell.  You'd think he was trying to wreck the production.

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Severus Spike

As Harry descended the stairs to the dungeon, he fumed again at Headmistress Sparkle for not finding somepony, anypony, other than Professor Spike to teach him occlumency.  The dragon wasn't just twisted and cruel - he was dangerous.  Why was she the only pony who couldn't see that?

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Friends, With Occasional Magic

The lives of Lori and her friends aren't perfect.  Lori and her friends aren't perfect.  But with ponies, she can show them all the best in themselves.

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Father's Day · 5:05am

To write stories, I have to understand human nature, observe closely, and pick up subtle details in the things people say and the way they interact. I could take any of my characters and tell you what they wanted, what their strengths and weaknesses were, how they felt.

But if I'm so good at that, why is my father such a mystery to me?

I realized, while struggling to write a Father's Day letter, that I understand even the minor characters in my shortest stories better than I understand my own father. I don't know what he wants from life. I don't know what he cares about most. I don't know what he thinks of me, or if he thinks of me. I don't know if what he has shown me is a mask, or his true face. I don't know what his story is.

Every Christmas, I buy gifts early for everyone else, but end up buying him a sweater, or Christmas sausages and smoked cheese, or some other generic gift. No one in my family ever knows what to get my father for Christmas.

I can't recall him ever complaining about anything. Shouting, yes, but never complaining. Sure, he could get angry. But he never told us if anything was really bothering him, or disappointed him. Or that he was really looking forward to something. I don't know if he was trying to protect us, or if he just didn't think about things that much. He was always quick to make a joke out of everything, but I don't know why.

In my stories, everyone has a motivation. I try to discover how to sympathize with everyone, even the villains. But I've never discovered how to sympathize with my father. I don't know his motivation.

if I were writing a story, I could imagine that he was holding himself distant, hiding behind puns and forced grins. because of some deep insecurity that could be resolved by a dramatic experience or personal epiphany. But I think he just really likes puns and isn't very interested in people.

Or I could be completely wrong. I'll probably never know.

Bad Horse · 113 views