I've been hearing some nasty, terrible things about people reacting to the EQG trailer. People wanting to protest Hasbro, and rumors of cast and crew wanting to quit because of how bad it is.

That's embarrassing, honestly. The idea of it is someone else's, and as fans we're supposed to watch from a distance and either support it, voice our opinions tactfully and respectfully, or ignore it. We've been so privileged with the cast and crew who had reluctantly embraced us the first time, but now... who knows? If you're not interested then you don't have to watch it. Instead, this simple idea has eluded people and they've chosen to go on some kind of witch hunt instead.

Why? They should worry about poverty, the economy, or social dissent in other countries--you know, something that would matter? It's just sickening knowing that there are people who feel so self-entitled as to control someone else's creation on an official level, and then they feel they should bully the creators into having their way. That's so shameful.

Hey, all. Sorry that chapter has taken a long time, but I'll fill you in on everything story related in this.

After the rejection from EQD another pre-reader gave me some advice in a mini-review. They pointed out some story elements that I need to work on and stuff early on that the pre-readers on EQD would generally glare at. While I've only done brainstorming on this stuff, it seems like some more revising is in order. It's not a big deal this time since I have everything I want down already and I can restructure stuff as I need. Mainly, pre-reader issues would lie in the handling of the time skip consistency. Not too hard to fix.

Anyway, said pre-reader has become too busy with EQD duties recently to further the review, but it's convenient to go about this step by step. Anyway, chapter 18's final proofing is all that's left, and then I'll see how I want to juggle the next batch of writing work.

Because I wholly support learning I can post some of our correspondence and his notes (name removed cause of privacy and stuff) if you guys want to see how EQD might view my story. I'm a more serious writer than most, but I'm sure even casual writers who are fans of my story could get some tips or insight from it.

I know I've been deathly silent to the masses since the last chapter, and I've been working on the next one. Anyway, here's some stuff for all of you: My first strike from EQD's pre-readers. This is the e-mail response I got. Bear in mind that I requested the same pre-reader as last time. (I won't give a name, etc.)

Dear Aynine,

It had been so long since I'd read this fic, I had to go digging to find bits and pieces of the original review.

I'll quote it here:

I love your ideas: the hidden histories, the dark magics, the ‘older’ feel for the ponies we know. These are good things, and you should strive to keep whatever muse gives them to you very happy.

The ideas behind the story are compelling, but the manner in which you tell it is clumsy, conflicting, and at times feels more like a breathless train of thought than a well-considered tale.

You have a fixation on the thesaurus, but aren't attentive to the nature of the words you're replacing. You'll use words that have similar meanings to what you intend, but do not belong, or cannot be modified by the adjectives and adverbs in which they are dressed.

None of these things have changed. You still have a compelling, deep story to tell. You have a unique tone with which to relate the tale. But you're falling apart in structure and form.

Run-on sentences and comma splices abound. Heavy purple prose fairly strangles the scenes you are trying to build.

I'm not saying you must do these things. I am saying, though, that until you do, this story will not be suited for Equestria Daily. The overly florid prose and difficult-to-parse construction would receive rather negative responses from the readership there, and they wouldn't give your tale the attention it so richly deserves.

This is your first strike of three. If you intend to seek publication on EQD, please request the attentions of a skilled proofreader and/or editor--or more than one, as different readers will find different problems--who won't be reluctant to shake a given paragraph until the unnecessary parts fall off.

There are many groups on FimFiction where you can pick up a proofreader. I’d suggest going to The Proofreader Group. If you already have a proofreader, then I’d suggest requesting another, more experienced one.

If you’re serious about making this story as good as it can possibly be, then after finding a proofreader and revising, you should submit it to a review thread such as The Training Grounds on Ponychan or MLPchan. Alternatively, you could submit it to one of the FimFiction review groups such as WRITE, School For New Writers, or The Equestrian Critics Society. Many authors find their reviews more helpful and less discouraging than an Equestria Daily rejection letter. Plus, they can probably tell you when your story is ready to be resubmitted.

All the best in your revisions,

[Identifier Redacted]

I've been through the grinder of Ponychan's WTG and a few reviewer threads in times of old, and while I learned a lot a huge story is very unattractive. On top of this you're at the mercy of the skill of the person who picks it up. This leads into why I dislike using the specific reviewers. They're led by what they like, and not what is necessarily correct or proper. As a result, I've rejected critique in the past because I felt it was irrelevant or inconsequential (and was later proved right). You can choose reviewers more directly affiliated with EQD (though they ARE bias) for a more... appropriated indication of the flaws in your story for, I guess, what is favored there. That is the best shot, but it feels like cheating and like I would be learning with restrictions.

This critique is confusing from various angles, but most of all in that it carries a lot of firsts for me. My older readers know that I've submitted to EQD something like 4 times in total now. Of such critiques, I have only ever been accused of lacking things. So to say I have purple prose now--a first from anyone who has openly commented or I have asked--is odd. Mind you this is something that allegedly didn't change from the previous version, which I felt was overly bare and most have concurred with.

~Run-on sentences. I feel that this can be subjective. I probably have some, but at the same time some are probably viewed as such with very black and white views of sentence structure. My studies have shown me that sentences can be acceptable (and sometimes favored) against basic writing rules, though I don't make it my mission to break them.

~Comma splicing. I'm inclined to agree with this. I tend to both over or under-use them and it's something I've actively been trying to watch out for. This probably stems unconsciously from the way I speak. (I'm strange like that.)

Anyway. Like 75% of EQD critique, it's vague and lacks specific examples. (You have errors... somewhere. Use the Force to find them, lad!) I don't hate EQD and I'm grateful to my pre-reader, especially looking it over after I specifically requested them after such a long period. Can any of you guys offer examples that you have seen? I'm always striving to improve, but it's like navigating a labyrinth with a compass instead of a map, and where preference and interpretation line the walls that stop me. I'm deterred from using the suggested groups because of past experiences. I'd also much, much rather learn without the fandom looming over me.

Edit: Consider this just an insight into my perspective. I'll take it down soon. It has, however, brought me a pleasant surprise. More info eventually.

My favorite and most influential fan artist. I honestly had no idea Cosmic was a girl. I follow her Tumblr(s) and her Deviant Art, and she has a lot of interesting philosophical stuff, artwork advice, and occasionally some real life advice on the tumblr. Anyway, barring my high pitched fan squeals, here's the video:

Sketch/random art blog: http://cosmicunicornscribbles.tumblr.com/

General blog where you can ask stuff: http://askcosmicunicorn.tumblr.com/

I'll have to listen to more of it later, but her art stuff is really cool. You should check out her dA if you haven't already. Her style is exquisite.

Seriously, way too many people are panicking. I'm an author OF an Alicorn Twilight story and I'm excited to see where they go with this. I put in someone else's blog post saying something along the lines of, "Stop freaking out. Nobody cares if canon ruins your story because fanfiction is FAN. FICTION. It's supposed to be fun/imaginative/creative."

So, guys. Relax and enjoy it. Think of the episode as another fanfic (omg, bad piece of advice, I know). The show has pretty much been building up to something like this forever now

(>Show aimed at young girls

>Lead character becomes princess)

If you didn't see this coming, well... Just don't get upset, please.

Also, TQP update very soon.

Art by Jelfi.

Some fan art of the God of Time (among other nicknames), Elchulus in Vindictus (Mabinogi Heroes). He's kinda the baseline for how I view the dragons, and I think he's a damn sexy dragon.

And, for anyone that DOES play Vindictus, you'll understand this next picture:

I felt I should post some images of what influences my vision of the Brood, since I rarely actually post what I draw inspiration from. I'm pretty sure you guys don't want picture links in the story for this stuff.

This is tagged with The Quiet Place because of comparisons, but also because I'm updating today with Chapter 10. Peppy Proofreadington is pretty helpful.

For those of you that don't pay attention to new story stuff much (side bar, featured list, etc.), Past Sins was posted yesterday morning. As noted, and very evident within TQP, there is a tiny bit of inspiration to it from that story. Not even remotely as much as a few other fanworks, but it was the first long story I read. The general intrigue was how popular it was, as opposed to general interest in the synopsis back then. I wanted to see how an author handled everything, the delicate balancing act between characters and such. But then I lost all interest in doing that and just enjoyed the story, quickly burning through it faster than any other, even The Ballad of Twilight Sparkle and Spark.

If you've read Past Sins and seen some of the comments regarding it, you'll know there is quite a significant division in opinions on it. Specifically, people claim the story is overdone with a Mary Sue. For reasons non-spoiler (because Past Sins is legitimately a great read), I will not list anything story specific.

As SyrinKitty once suggested, Mary Sues don't always mean a bad story. If a story has one, but it is well done/a great, engrossing read, then by all means you should read it and enjoy it for what it is, but you shouldn't automatically shoot it down solely for it having one. Alicorns are widely viewed as Mary Sues, and Twilight in my story can easily be drawn to that connection. (It's a good thing the story isn't about her being an alicorn, though!) But still, you read it because you enjoy it, right?

If you're turned away from Past Sins because of the Mary Sue complaints, don't be. Give it a read and decide if you like it yourself. The atmosphere, the tone, and the meaning differ from The Quiet Place (mine being notably more violent at times), but it still carries a depth that you should look out for. I should add that the story's tags are now [Sad] and [Slice of Life]. The original tag on EqD was simply [Normal]. I can support both tags, but the story is not sad to an overwhelming degree like OM&M or My Little Dashie. I doubt you'll break down crying or feel your soul break while you read it. (Literally me at the end of OM&M and Spark.)

Sometimes our vision of perfection is perfection's vision of flawed.

https://docs.google.com/folder/d/0B6a-iYpNp_uxYzZhZTRkMzktODgwNi00ZGE0LThmNjgtMDNiOTlmZmRjMTIy/edit

I'll add in the few newer ones that weren't added to the album/folder. Let me know if there's problems. It's set to allow anyone with the link to view.

The chapters should all be identical to those that were posted. Everything posted is linked from Google Docs.

PS: They're all out of order. lol   Their numbers are listed, though.

Chapter progression went something like this: Prologue, 1-11~, Interlude I, 12-14, Interlude II, 15-22. The Interludes take place before the main story (before Chapter 1). They will be ordered chronologically with the story in the new setup, so feel free to read them whenever. They were written with chapter 15 or 16 to tie into *an important spoiler*. But that doesn't matter now. Enjoy!