Nostalgia · 7:01am
Whooo, boy. Hey folks. Feeling... strange, recently.
There's been a lot of changes in my life since that fateful day four years ago (four?!) when I sent the link for Rainbow Factory to Glaze. Things got... very dark a couple years ago. I went from one of the greatest highs of my life to the deepest pit of despair. Maybe some of you know what happened, but I'm guessing most of you don't. It's not really important to anyone, so I won't delve into details, but anyone still following me or even who's perused my blogs could figure I went from someone who really cared about the fandom and my image in it to someone who couldn't give two fucks about what anyone with a pony avatar had to say.
What I'm typing isn't for sympathy, only context. In February of 2014 something monumental to me rocked my life and shattered every expectation I had for my future. This event left me without a sense of identity or purpose, and, coupled with a dwindling follower base (every "internet famous" person has their five minutes, and I had played mine out to two years) I felt hollow, useless, and without meaning.
Depression is a bitch and if you think you might have it, seek help. I started with counselling after I finally got drunk enough to vomit out how I really felt to my family. Eventually that only took me so far, and 9 months ago I started antidepressants. These get a bad rap online sometimes, but I have to say; the last 6 months have been likely the best in my life so far. I've made real friends. Moved on to a career I enjoy in a place that respects me. Found true hobbies I can share with complete strangers. The catch with not being depressed, of course, isn't that you're always happy, however; For the first time in years, I could feel emotions again. Happiness, yes, contentment and acceptance. These feelings came when they were deserved to be felt. Depression is a black hole that swallows everything, though, and with my new ability to enjoy my life, came renewed ability to be fearful, sad, frustrated, and on and on.
2016 has been a year of many tragedies, both personally for myself and globally; I've yet to find someone who hasn't gladly agreed with the sentiment "Fuck 2016". Lately the deluge of hatred and violence in my social media feeds have been overwhelming and even antidepressants couldn't prevent me from a hanging shadow of sorrow and exhaustion with everything going on. Election fights, scandals, friends unable to meet without arguing about liberal or conservative extremism. I began to search for an out, an escape. Rocket League was one, which I heartily enjoy with some new "IRL" friends (What a weird concept to write, if I may aside.) Baking has definitely helped, too; usually an argument on Syria can be diffused quickly with a plate of cookies, and I'm getting a reputation as "The Baker" at my workplace.
With new friends being met through work and hobbies, history eventually comes out. We share our successes and our embarrassments, with a trust that they'll never use the info to hurt us as an ultimate expression of love. We divulge information we never thought we'd tell other people, because they find us fascinating, and honestly what's a better story than one they wouldn't believe?
I'm waxing poetic badly here so I'll get to the point: Recently I've told my friends how, after writing a hastily written horror fanfic based on a show I'd only watched half a season of, inspired by a song I'd heard while heavily stricken with fever, I became a cult sensation in a cult-like group of fans of a show, and it brought me to new countries, new people, and new love in my life. Fantastic claims are only entertaining with proof, of course, so I went searching for relics of my time in this fandom. Comments on my stories. Remixes of songs based off Pegasus Device. Fan art, good lord, the metric ton of fan art. Merch.
Telling my history did little to my friendships; a quick laugh together about it, some questions and expressions of awe and then the conversation moves forward to their quirky past. But what it did do is it got me looking at more fan creations than just the ones meant for me (or rather, my stories.) PMVs. Artwork, music, memes. I remembered how pure and happy this simple cartoon made me feel before hatred and longing for "how things used to be" poisoned my social feeds and corrupted how I felt about the show. It was simple, yet beautiful; relatable, yet unpredictable at times; even often adventurous or thrilling, yet undeniably cute.
Maybe we as a whole blew the whole thing out of proportion. I'm not here to get into that argument. Yes, it was always "Just a cartoon", but it was a well made one, and in these rough times I find myself finding solace in them again. I sing with the intro, repeat quotes that make me laugh, and do I laugh, and do I smile, and I get this warm tingly feeling in my heart that urges me to write this blog post.
I don't really know what the whole point of this post is, truly speaking. I guess I just wanted to say I'm watching MLP again and instead of anger and bad memories it just makes me smile again. And that I miss the energy it had when I first started getting into it, but not in a negative way. It's not so much like an amputee missing a limb, but a knot in a tree where a branch once grew, now part of something much grander and quiet.
I took them down a while ago due to some personal issues I was working through. It's childish and doesn't make sense to do so, I know, but at the time, it made me feel a LOT better.
I just resubmitted three of them today- Rainbow Factory, Pegasus Device, and Turn for the Worse.
These will be the only stories available on this page. I will not be writing anything else for MLP fanfiction. I'm sure most of you already know that, seeing as I haven't written anything for shy of two years *anyways*.
If you need to contact me regarding Rainbow Factory, don't. Here's the rules:
1. I don't give a fuck what you do with it
2. I seriously don't care
3. Yes you can write a sequel where you destroy it in a crossover with your normal series
4. Seriously holy shit I have never cared omg
5. Just don't copy it and pass it off as yours because that's a general scumbag thing to do no matter what the content is
6. But asides from that holy shit I just do not fucking care
Yes folks, that's right. Spreadshirt is offering 15% off on all products in the Rainbow Factory/Pegasus Device merchandise store. Also, I've added more designs since I've last advertised.
Check it out! It's only for a limited time. Use the coupon code WITHLOVE at checkout!
Stay tuned for a new story! · 5:36pm
Good news, guys.
TarbyRocks is almost finished his Carousel song. For those of you not in the loop, the 'Carousel' comes not from Rarity's shop but from a small series of grimdark pictures wherein our favorite little ponies are speared by some sort of evil merry-go-round.
While Tarby and I have both taken our inspiration from these pictures our own way, we found they're related enough that we're going to do a duel release. That's right, you're going to have a song and a story based on the same concept.
I'm excited to release it, too: Despite being only a short story, I think it's going to be one of the best fictions I've written. Even if only the quality is the best, I love the plot as well, and I think you're all going to love it with me.
(Psssst: I'm also starting to etch out ideas for Fall From Grace to continue. Good things come to those who wait...)
Free Shipping on CWC merch~ · 1:21am
So you guys remember I have a spreadshirt store where you can get Cloudsdale Weather Corporation merchandise, right?
If you use the coupon code EASTER2013 between now and March 22nd, you can get free shipping up to $9.50 worth when you order two or more products.
And yes, this discount applies internationally.
Check it out! =D
Milestones · 4:48am
Today, I wrote 2700 words.
That was mildly interesting, but I was shocked I finally got so much down- I haven't done that much in one sitting since Subject of Revenge.
Also, that 10,000 words to the right of that...
That means that as of today, I have technically written a novel. 50,000 words in one document.
Here here, and whatnot.