A: what the hell where am I
A: is this some kind of bullshit faq format because a) no one asks me any questions so how can I generalize them into a faq b) these aren't questions and c) what the hell, man
Q: WHERE YOU BEEN ARG
A: School, mostly. Also, poni has just... started to bore me, I guess. I suppose I can only hold on to an obsession for so long.
Q: DOS THIS MENA YOUR NOT A BRONIE
A: Heh, "brony". What a concept! Pretty much yes. I'll probably watch season 3 but in the comfort of my own home.
Q: UR NO A BRON A I HATE UN NOE A BRONY NO ANYMORE
A: uh ok
Q: so what the hell are you doing then?
A: I'm studying computer science. I want to make video games.
Q: can u make pony game
A: Probably! Someday not too far off!
Q: wel why are un aa hear get starete on you game
A: I'm workin' on it! There's a lot that goes into stuff, not to mention I'm still in school and classes don't really mesh well with hobbying, which such a game would be. Classes kinda eat all of your time. I do my own coding projects here and there when I have large enough windows of time, but mostly it has to wait at least another semester.
Q: ok so what then
A: Well, I may not have enough time to design and build a video game but I do have enough time to finish the shitty little stories I started and left unfinished. Which I plan to do.
Q: that cant be all u tell the truth now
A: I'd also like to whore myself out!
A: That's right! My current work-study income isn't quite enough to actually make ends meet for me. I mean, it does, but I'm pretty much left with nothing. If I didn't have roommates, I wouldn't be able to afford any groceries.
Q: how sad take ur begging somewher else we dont care
A: Probably not. I'm trying to get into a couple of independent-contractor style micro-jobs things and that's working out okay I guess.
Q: so why u here
A: Because the funnest possible way for me to make money would be for me to do the same stupid, arguably-funny stuff that I made friends with here in this strange-ass community of pony-loving weirdos.
Q: HEY THATS NOT NI-
A: I was rolling with pegabrothers and sisnies for a whole year I'm pretty sure I insulted myself too so calm down. Anyway, I don't necessarily NEED anything to come of this, but if it did, that would be awesome!
Q: Ok so what are you proposing.
A: WELL. If anyone's interested in helping an Argembarger-in-need out, there's a few things that could be done.
Q: Such as?
Help An Argembarger Foundation by Argembarger (bias-free and impartial to the end)
all u need is the ability to email and the ability to use paypal and possibly the ability to have an address
for further reference, my email is firstname.lastname@example.org (woowowoowwoaaaaaaa)
CPAPTER ONE of the helping: writing comission
do you like my style of writing? if you're lookign at this that means you may have that like in you. Well have you ever wanted my stupid ass hadns and keyboard to write about a somethign i haven't write about but oyu wanted me to? well just simply ask~!
just send me an email w/ subject line "story commission" telling me what you want me to write and for how much money per word and we'll haggle it out until we're both happy with your stupid idea and miserly rates
and then I'll email you when I'm done and we'll have a mexican standoff where you want me to send the story first and I want you to send the money first until we're dripping with hate for one another
or something like that.
CHAPTER TWO: art comission????
haha really I mean
you can if you want. look at my deviantart page argembarger.deviantart.com for examples of what the hell I art like-as.
just send me an email w/ subject line "art commission" and magic will happen.
3: send you a picture of my di
foru time: the delux argempacksage
warning: for true fans/crazies only
warning: you have to have a place where mail can be sent that you can access
there are two ways this can go down.
A the boring option: you tell me anything you want me to mail you. stories, sketches, uh hair??, personal message, whatever and I tell you what it will cost.
B the fun exciting one: you give me money that covers at least the cost of postage to you and I'll send you in the mail something that I think is worth that money.
DELUXE HARDCOVER COPY OF THE SPIDERSES actually it's a shitty printed copy I printed myself
got friends who have copies of past sins or fallout equestriea? want to make them jealous? this will do it maybe. A paper copy of spiderses printed by me, myself! Every copy is completely unique and numbered. You'll never know what you'll get, but it will be as shitty as the story itself, so be warned!
Warning: may come with secret BONUS CHAPTERS
oh man a sketch this is self-explanatory
some stories or sketches with me possibly hand-writing dumb shit in the margins. The DELUXE HARDCOVER COPY OF THE SPIDERSES will probably also have handwritten additions.
the story: STARRING YOU!!!
I write a story about you
maybe I'll cry ever tim on the envelope and you can see my passion
CHAPTER FIVE: doing the thing I'm studying in school
Want me to code you something? Really? because I totally might be able to.
I could also send you copies of the two (text based, in java) games I've already made, HELICOPTER PILOT and GOBLIN KILL! I wrote them when I was a little first-year babby so they're not spectacular but they are certainly what you might expect from me.
Just let me know in email what you want and I'll tell you if I can handle that or not.
chapter 6 custom ponies toys
haha I guess so I've never done it but whatever, man.
I could mutilate one and make it look really stupid and that would be like a custom.
CHptater 7: some other third thing
Want something I didn't list? Just e-mail me and we'll discuss it! I could sing you a song or something. I dunno. As with anything else, I reserve the right to refuse to do anything unless A) I agreed to it and B) I got paid already.
and of course I'm willing to give refunds for unsatisfied customers but that would really kill the purpose of this so lets make sure not to leave anyone unsatisfied eh?
Thanks for just reading this far, guys. I hate to be a whore but I hope that my execution makes up for my motivation.
Feel free to send me an e-mail if any of this stuff interests you and you have excess money. email@example.com, if you didn't catch it before.