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Argambariglio 
argembarger
http://masturbatorium.proboards.com/
my poop: theory and evidence 
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not a sports page. not a magazine. 
My Life and Times?? · 1:16am
Time for some real-talk.
I'm a programmer. I'm going to school to learn the art and science of coding. Around this time next year, I'll have a Bachelor's of Science in software engineering.
Ever since I was a little kid, I've wanted to work on video games. That dream has come to fruition much earlier than I expected it to. A small start-up game studio suddenly appeared in my backyard, and I randomly stumbled into it, and they hired me for both my technical skill and my charisma. (My application was a Shrek-themed tic-tac-toe game. Go figure.)
My ultimate goal is to be able to, someday, craft entire experiences, with every piece and facet coming straight from my imagination. That's why I spent time writing here. That's why I spent time making fan-art and such. I was building the auxiliary skills required to be an all-around game designer. It wasn't just a means to an end, though. I enjoyed myself greatly, and made some good friends through all of this stuff.
Now, our very first game--my first debut as a professional programmer--has begun a Kickstarter drive. If you own an XBox, if you appreciate indie start-ups, hell, if you just happen to like my moxie or my stories, please consider checking it out. I'm personally looking forward to seeing what I am capable of in the future, both in this team setting, and as a much more direct designer and artist.
Thank you. I mean that sincerely. I very much appreciate the love and support I've gotten. For anyone who's ever gotten a laugh from my scratchings and ramblings, this is all for you.
-Argembarger
(Tom. I'm the big fat asshole with the stupid hair in the video.)
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>>215236 Tell them shits like it is.
I added PepsiR Twist to my group Twist I hope that was alright
>>215233 They couldn't write that sober?
Casuals
Have you read SPIKE'S DAY OFF.TXT? It seems like it's right up your alley.
You are my most favoritest My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic fanfic author. Every day I wake up and I do not have your immense skill in writing My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic fanfics is a day I am miserable.
>>185625 Yes. Quite a few have given me good advice, but hey, I'm making tons of stories that many have seemed to like. I even got some "cemented fans" who follow my every stories, especially the one for satire that irritated one of the admins.
>>185466 estranged looks fine to me there, although the real problem there looks like a case of telling and not showing.
But yeah, equestria daily is just a thing. I'm not sure what the big fuss over it is. I like seth and all, but it's really just his personal blog no matter how big and "important" it gets and people need to realize that, as a subjective fandom spotlight, biases are just part of the game.
Conversely, in a content-aggregator like fimfic, anyone is free to grow their own readerbase on their own terms.
Still, I've always found the prereaders to give sound advice when I was with 'em. The disconnect with most people is the difference between "this would make your story objectively better" and "this would make your story postable on our site".
Ah well. Happy writing, anyway.
>>184983 Yes it was, and it was helpful. The problem is that everytime I try and send a message detailing, it's always "ponychan". I hate the chans, seriously, and I won't sign up on ponychan. I'll try what you wrote here, and, hopefully, they won't rage at me and won't think I'm raging at them.
Here's the sentence: "And the pony would wake up, estranged by such a weird dream."
It seems to me that the contect is correctly placed seeing the definitions.
Nah. You know what? I've given up on EqD. There are many problems with the pre-readers I find. While I only found two with good intentions and detailed criticizing, the rest just barely skim the first chaper and blam the rest of the story. I give up with any intention of getting my stories on there. They ask far too much, and many are hypocritical.
>>184712 Didn't I send a reply?
...oh,
I really thought I did.
Anyway, there's some stuff that I can't really tell for certain without context (like "estranged", which could be either correct or incorrect if I could see the rest of the sentence) but overall everything pointed out falls under one of two categories, either real actual errors (like spacing ellipses, like... this instead of like...this) or stuff that's "annoying", or that isn't in itself wrong but was, stylistically, odd or jarring enough to take a pseudo-professional pony fanfiction reader out of the mood (like using ALL CAPS for emphasis instead of italics or bolding)
I, at least, don't see anything in that review that would make me go "wow, that reviewer is silly/wrong" but I do think they did a poor job of explaining why those errors were grievous enough to justify b&ing the fic.
As I've "retired" I can't really help you out any more. From my experience, and based on this review I'd say the thing that hurt you the most was most likely the show vs. tell, which is probably frustrating because it was barely mentioned in the review.
Another thing is that the review seemed to focus almost exclusively on grammar. Which, I can say that as a prereader it's definitely a lot easier to latch on to those problems and go "well clearly you're not skilled enough to write for this blog yet, try again later", but on the other hand, grammar is (well, should be, anyway) easily fixed.
I guess if you could do anything at this point it would be to send a polite e-mail back going "hey, I fixed such and such grammar issues, and I want to know what about my fic is so fundamentally flawed that I haven't been able to fix it in a few edit sweeps". If you're polite and well-reasoned, I'm sure the crack team of pony whores up there will be happy to give you a pointer or two.
Or, alternatively, they'll tell you to just take it to ponychan and have them dissect it, which is never a bad idea honestly. You just have to figure how much work you're willing to put in to a fic that has been three-striked.
And between you and me, if you gave your story such a big overhaul that it can hardly be called part of the same "edit sequence", and the improvement is great enough, I've seen stories pass after the third strike. It's just a deterrent to lazy editing more than an ultimatum, really.
Or, at least it was when I was around.
wow this post was fucking long and serious business huh