So, in my last blog I let all you folk know that I was writing a story, and you know what? That was fine. The story was going great, I'm at about eight thousand words in the first chapter or two.

Then I discovered that AS had a prompt, and everything went down the shitter.

I figured it'd be a fun thing to try out. Write a short story, see how much my writing sucks, get a feel for the land, that sort of crap. It wasn't as if anything could possibly go wrong, aye?

Never ask a rhetorical question like that, because Murphy's Law will be all over you in ten seconds flat, and it will kick your ass in the most severe ways possible.

So, I started brainstorming for the prompt. It's a pretty simple thing, some shit about running through a forest and finding something. Anyways, I started with a scene. Scootaloo running through the Everfree Forest. Not very profound, right? So, I thought of things that could get the damn chicken running around willy nilly like a headless...uh...chicken.

Things got a bit bigger. I wasn't very worried, since there wasn't a set limit on words.

I finished brainstorming, looked it over, and you know what? I've got a full-sized multi-fucking-chapter fic on my hands right now, complete with Pinkamena, rape, and skeletons in the closet.

Bronymaster, go fall down an open sewer so I can laugh at you, because this sucks.

Two fics to write instead of one, and I've completely dropped any intent of doing this damn prompt.

Fuck my life. -__-;

In other news, I've been pulling the usual bullshit, running around and pissing people off with my reviews and whatnot. It's fun. Oh, and I have shitton of reviews I need to write.

Joy.

Stay dry, boys and girls.

Short explanation, I want some folk to look over the damn thing first. I already know that it's shit, but I'd like to have someone tell me it's shit so I don't have to worry about thinking that it's higher grade shit than it really is.

Basically, I need some proofreaders with chainsaws.

Anyone care for a shot? Reply here, or something. Maybe shoot me a PM. Faster, the better, because I'd like to get the first chapter posted someday, before I start losing enthusiasm for the project and decide to cancel.

Oh, and I'm genuinely back this time.

Fuck. PMs to reply to.

...and no hate mail to laugh at.

Why god, why? D:

Okay, if I’ve said this once, I’ve said it a thousand times, but I bleedin’ hate second-person POV fics (henceforth referred to as “2POV fics”). The characterization sucks, the plot is contrived at best, and most of the time they involve you (fucktards) getting it on with [insert your favorite pony pornstar here]. For the love of God, will you idiot fanbrats get it through your thick skulls that second-person fics are not the way to go? I don’t know what is wrong with this fandom, but we’ve got more 2POV fics than any other fandom I’ve been involved in. Not only that, but most of them are absolute crap about how Rarity is fat and still somehow sexy. Whoever was the git that wrote Preggity, you can kiss my arse. (No, you shouldn’t look that fic up; seriously, don’t)

Now, don’t get me wrong. Clopfics are a perfectly legitimate type of fic, and, to be honest, some of them are pretty well-written. But tonight’s rant isn’t on clopfics. It’s on that damnable exercise in stupidity, the second-person fic.

For all you laymen out there, a second-person fic is any story written in the second-person. So:

You walk down the hall, hearing muffled squeaks and moans of pleasure emanating from Fluttershy’s room. Glancing through the barely open door, you see…

(Yeah, major cockblock. Fuck off.)

…Fluttershy sipping from a juice box with a mouse pinned under her tail by Angel. You stand, ashamed at your dirty thoughts, while your dick tells you to go inside and make things dirty.

That, my friends, was second-person writing. It is entirely “you”-based. So, can anyone in the audience tell me what the challenges presented by the second-person are, especially to those young writers that decide to bite off more than they can chew? No? Well, here’s a lovely little explanation for you:

Let’s start with some basic background, for those of you that can’t tell your hayfoot from your strawfoot. I like to think that there are three levels of interaction going on at any one moment in a 2POV fic:

-The first tier is where you, the reader, come in. You are outside of the story, watching events unfold, or rather, being told what you are doing in the story; it is a relatively one-way street sort of interaction, unless you get off your lazy ass and PM the author about what a moron he is to even attempt writing in the second-person.

-The second tier is the interaction between you, the reader, and Blank You, the second-person perspective offered by the “you” in the story; it is based on how you, the reader, relate to and react to the actions of Blank You (your dumbass avatar).

-The third tier is the interaction between the NPCs (non-player characters) and Blank You; what Vinyl Scratch says/does when Blank You calls her a whore and then [surprise sex!]s her, for instance, is an example of third tier interaction.

Technically, there is a fourth tier, based on the interactions between the writer and the readers, outside of the story environs, but I generally ignore it and chalk it up under the first tier interactions. ANYWAYS. (9_9)

With all that out of the way, let’s get one thing perfectly clear: All that interaction has to amount to something, right? Right. That something is an exceedingly delicate line with regards to characterization. Most stories are criticized for a lack of decent characterization, and for telling instead of showing. With 2POV fics, that criticism is taken up fifty notches for not getting it just right, because an intelligent, critical reader (anyone not a fanbrat and capable of telling which way is up) will immediately feel that something is off if Blank You is being characterized in a way that isn’t conducive to a decent reading-imagination trance.

Blank You, being a character in the story (even if that role is exclusively for acting as a medium between the reader, the reader’s desired actions, and the characters/world of the story), must and will be characterized through the course of the story. Any potential action made by Blank You, anything he says, can act as a characterizing factor. However, let’s not forget something. Blank You is supposed to “be” the reader. So, how do you characterize someone that can’t directly interact in the story, and who already has a past, a personality, and conflicting motivations to other readers/characters? D:

The answer, my dear Watson (JohnLock muthafuckas!), is that YOU DON’T. It mucks up all sorts of things. The reader is being pulled in all sorts of different directions. He has to understand what he is being told to do by the author through Blank You, he has to take on an entirely new persona that he has little to no influence over, he has to conform his desires and ideals to what Blank You is telling him he’s doing, and, to top it all off, he has to somehow relate to Blank You to get any sort of enjoyment out of the fic.

So, then. This obviously creates a problem of characterization. How much characterizing action can the author get away with for Blank You, before he/she starts putting readers off because of all the stuff they never did, wanted, or had happen to them?

Not very much. Blank You is placed under some severe constraints, poor guy. He has to live up the expectations of readers (what they want to do), and he has to keep the story moving smoothly through non-compromising characterizing actions. Basically, he’s been tasked to write thirty-some term papers (with proper citations) in the course of a week.

So, too much characterization leads to readers getting put off and demanding a change in the POV of the narrator (see AimBot’s Alteration; it’s a perfect example of concritters getting fed up with an over-characterized 2POV fic and suggesting that it be changed to third- or first-person; it also happens to be fairly well-written, go fucking read it). What about too little? Well, there you have an automaton in the place of a character/reader. Too little characterization of Blank You leads to a boring character that doesn’t DO anything significant, except perhaps fuck Twilight fifteen ways to Tuesday. It doesn’t make for an interesting read, trust me.

Now do you see why I have such great dislike for 2POV fics? They’re extremely difficult to get right, even for experienced authors, and that means that the majority of those poor, dumbass n00bies have no idea what they’re getting into when they decide to write a 2POV fic because hey, everyone else is doing it, and it seems like a good way to get started. :P It really isn’t. 2POV fics don’t supply the right sort of experience in character interaction/characterization that a budding author needs to gain insight into how their world works.

Oh, and as for plot? Don’t even get me started. N00bies writers tend to think that whatever clichéd, awesome storyline they construct for a 2POV fic, it is amazing and beautiful and undoubtedly the best thing in this digital world since sliced bread. Fuck that. You want a decent plot? How’s about I wrap you in cellophane and shove you up Princess Molestia’s ass? Who knows, maybe you’ll come away with a basic understanding of what a plot should be. Morons….

Well, that’s my rant for today. Hope you enjoyed it, and gained at least a miniscule insight into writing. Now, go write me some fics that aren’t 2POV, and I’ll be happy.

Not really; I’ll still be pissed as all hell, but I’ll be happier than I was. Better?

Acidic Din, sining off.

Okay, so I’m back. You might be thinking, “Oh, shit! Din’s back, hide the fanbitches and the crapfics before he burns them alive!”

Well, that’s a pretty intelligent thought to have. Why? Because I’m 20% more pissed off than normal. If you’ve been paying any attention to east coast news broadcasts, we got hammered by the wind storm last Friday, and there are power outages all across the board here in Virginia. How’s that relate to me being pissed?

Here, have a goddamn list:

-the folk running my summer writing program canceled it because the estimated times for getting power back were so damn pessimistic, which especially pissed me off because I made a number of close friends there, and we lost an entire fucking week

-no power means no a/c, and in VA weather (read: hot as fuck with humidity high enough to drown someone on a walk down the street) that means no desire to do anything aside from sitting around bitching about how hot it is

-internet access is sporadic because I’m running on generator power, and my parental units don’t feel that internet is particularly important, so it’s fairly low on the priority list of things to keep running; thankfully, our internet is satellite-based, so despite its normal shittiness, it allows us to access it when everyone else’s landlines are down (suckers! >:D)

-not having anything interesting to do inside, my parents are constantly dragging my sorry ass outside in upwards of 95-degree weather to chop down trees, redo wiring, and basically keep our property running

-all that, and none of the hate mail I’ve received in the last two weeks is anywhere near entertaining D;

So, yeah. I’m back a week or so early, my nanotech research may or may not be postponed due to the outages, and I’m pissed. Prep yourselves for some ranting, and more pillaging of unsuspecting fanvillages, and, of course, more Acidic Din.

Oh, and the dickhead that seems to think that it’s funny to write hate mail singularly consisting of “fuck u” ten times? You need to grow some balls and write something more interesting before I decide to teach you how to write a proper hate message. Yes, I’m looking at you. Get your fucking act together.

Pussy ass bitch.

So, recently I've gotten into music. Yeah. Not much of an accomplishment.

Fuck you, too.

Specifically, I've gotten into MLP music. As in, EQBeats, EQRhythm, that sort of thing.

It's fucking amazing. Electronica, dubstep, orchestral, jazz.... I would kill for even half of the talent some of the MLP musicians have. AgileDAsh and Stablefree in particular.

However, awesome music is not the point of this post. You should still look into though.

The point of this post is three-fold:

-firstly, TWICAT: If we don't get that damn chapter edited within the next two days, I'm going to bloody kill something. I'm sick of keeping you waiting while I get dragged off to ugly cities and colleges, and I'm sick of my goddamn internet playing havoc. We are getting that damn thing done if it kills me. Anhero, stay away from that sniper rifle. -__-; I wasn't being serious.

-secondly, I'm going to be (mostly) dropping off the map for the next three-six weeks. I'm taking a writing program at a nearby college, and I'm also doing some undergraduate research at a different nearby college. Yeah, yeah, I'm not an undergraduate, or in college, or whatever the fuck. Screw that. Nanotechnology kicks ass, and that's final. The fact of the matter is, I might or might not be around for a fair amount of time, so you may or may not be required to go find someone else to entertain you. Yeah, I love you all, too.

-fourthly, I'm considering what else to do with all this blogging shit, and what else I should be doing on FimFN. I've gotten numerous demands/death-threats indicating that I should write a story. However, I enjoyed the Ice Incident immensely, and have since gained upwards of five followers because of it. I've also recieved a widely positive response to my creative blogs and rants. I spend my time reviewing and editing, but I'm sure there are more interesting things to do. So, I want some suggestions. Gimme ideas, vote, or some shit. I dunno.

-thirdly, I should get my grubby hands on more followers. You guys are probably feeling lonely. XD

-fifthly, I did something to my arm. It hurts. Might go to the doc, might not. Either way: Fuck, I'm a slower typer tha usual.

-Yes, I know that wasn't three. I also know four does not come before three. Go eat a pinecone, or some shit.

To conclude, I'm feeling a little lost, and need some ideas to get me rolling.

Cheers~

I love, I hate cities.

I hate the way the polluted air clings in my nostrils, how the pavement beneath my converses feels sticky, like the inside of some flytrap plant. I am loath to look at the glass monoliths that block out the sky, because all too often the glaring sun is reflected directly into my gaze. I feel abject disgust at the hands that reach toward me, palms upward, begging, ever begging, for some handout in the hope of a next meal. I detest the cleaner areas, the places where the city officials--old, fat, manipulative bastards--want to attract the attention of tourists, and their wallets. I despise the filthy grays and blacks and neon yellows of the old city, where litter carpets the streets so fully it's a miracle to feel the harsh pavement. I hate and fear the alleys, with their sitting, sad figures and loud, brash young punks.

I loath the lights they flick on as the day turns to night, as they swallow up every star in the sky and murder the pallid, comforting light of the moon.

I truly, dearly, sincerely hate cities.

...

Yet even as I brush past panhandlers and morons too preoccupied with their jobs and lives to watch out for the traffic (one idiot got himself hit by jaywalking), even as I glance nervously behind me in the reflective glass that coats every building, even as I curse the air and the hands and the blood and the asphalt...

...even as I despise them with every passing moment, I cannot help but recognize and appreciate their subtle, dystopian beauty.

I love the way the air slinks into my lungs, filled with harmless-by-the-hour poisons and repugnant smells. I adore the gnarled, begging hands, and the faces wizened by time and memory and weighty hunger; I love to see them light up, for a brief instant, as they feast their eyes on green paper promising another meal. I love to see that spark vanish the instant I walk away, the money in their hands forgotten in favor of memory, and hunger: for attention, for validation, for love. I admire the sullen concrete superstructures, and the glass-walled titans in all their drab and blinding glory. I love the thrill of glancing down an alley, and stepping back as someone else meets my gaze. I appreciate the sound of rain and water and waste pouring through the nigh-infinite sewer pipes, and the whistle of the metro as it carves a streak of light in its tunnels.

I adore the filth, the humanity, the light and shadows, the contrast between harsh reality and the dreams of those standing at the tops of buildings, ready for a walk on air.

I hate, I love cities.

...

I just wish I could have my stars back.

Bastards....

So. Chicago. The windy city.

Lovely place, with a delicious history of murder, organized crime, and alcohol.

Even better, my family has history here. I'll not say what.

Still. It's a nice city. I just miss the stars.

Fucking lights....

Anyways, I met a pegasister earlier today. Or yesterday. Whichever. She recognized I was a brony by how I said "Eeyup" in response to the guide's questions at a college we were both having a look at.

I was surprised. We got into a conversation, carefully staying out of my mother's earshot, about ponies.

She'd never been to the online community. Just like I'm barely (if at all) part of the RL community. We exchanged notes, chatted.

It was nice.

No real point to this, is there? ...And I sound like a damn sentimental geezer or summat. -__-;

Yeah.

To conclude, I fucking love you guys, even if your writing makes me want to tear out my hair in frustration.

Love and tolerate, bitches.

Din

So, after a long lengthy discussion with some people, I've come to terms with the fact that I am a waste of space, pathetic and shouldn't be alive (though, to be honest, I've known that for a long while now). With this in mind, I'm going to put an end to any future discussions regarding my absence right now. I wish you all happy lives in the meantime. Well, except for Sharky. He can kiss my ass.

Some of you have been the best friends I've ever had, and likely will have, and I'm sorry that I have to go for so long (Five bloody days, mates! Five!); however, it's obvious to me that I have no choice but to go on a lengthy, bane-of-my-existance trip to visit colleges. -_-

For the record, a huge thank you to certain authors on FimFN for writing decent stories.

Acidic, signing out.

...

God, I am a very, very bad person, with a terrible taste in parodies. Oh, well. Here's for one last snub at the whitie-tighty knights~

On a more serious note, I'm going to be gone for a few days, in search of reasonable institutions at which I may continue my educational pursuits. I'm half-expecting a cringe-inducing amount of hate-mail, PMs, and notifications when I get back. This, of course, is making me exceedingly reluctant to turn my back on any of you.

Anhero, I'm looking at you in particular, mate. XD

Cheers, and see ya in a week, or there abouts.

Oh, and the next wiseguy that decides to tag me dies.

If there was one thing that Cupcakes managed to get right, it was her.

Out of all that over-the-top, mind-numbingly boring, gore-laden fic had to offer, Pinkamena Diane Pie was the one true gem. She was left deeply uncharacterized, given vague reasons for her actions, and for all intents and purposes, crippled by the very fic that created her. Of course, since that fic, countless takes on her fanon persona have come and gone, from CrookedTrees' orgasmically-styled Pinkamena Ask Blog (which, by the way, sparked the Ask Blog Revolution) to the many well-done (and not so well-done) takes on her, like Borderline (one of the better ones). She's become one of the most shining examples of a fanon character facet, and is arguably the most popular/well-known dark genre characters.

If there's one pony I wouldn't mind ripping out my entrails and eating them while I watch, it'd be her.

The fic itself wasn't very impressive. It was exclusively focused on the gore and the torture, hoping to achieve thrills and fears through empathy of pain rather than any psychological subtleties. For all intents and purposes, it was basically SAW IV, when by all rights it could have been made into The Birds. It had numerous technical errors that only furthered its lack of effect, and I suspect that had it not been written for such a soft fandom, it would never have gained the notoriety that it has. The descriptions of gore and torture were lacking at best, and very much lacking in creativity.

It was, for lack of any better words, a one-trick pony.

Still, I suppose I ought to thank all you soft-hearted pussies out there, that gave such overblown reactions of disgust and horror, because without  morons like you, I wouldn't have some of the best horror fics in the fandom to read, and the Tumblr-verse would be largely nonexistent.

...And I wouldn't have to deal with all the shitty Cupcakes-wannabes that, I think, should be tossed to Pinkamena to be ripped apart as slowly as fucking possible.

That, of course, leads into today's rant: gorefics, horrorfics, and why all you Cupcakes emulators are fucking idiots.

Excited? I know I am.

Okay. So, as I stated before, Cupcakes can largely be considered to be a shitty fic. It's got technical errors, a lack of creativity, and is almost devoid of character/emotional depth. The only things it does have are Pinkamena Diane Pie, and, obviously, gore. It sucks.

A good horrorfic has a mix of elements to scare the shit out of readers, and thrill them. Torture and gore, obviously, play a decent part, but they only induce horror based on pain empathy; there isn't any emotional depth if you focus solely on torture and gore. A good horrorfic also induces emotions other than fear and horror. Take, for instance, These City Walls, by KitsuneRisu. It is a story that not only includes gore, but also a chilling plotline. Borderline, by Lucefudu, is one of the best Pinkamena-centric fics around, with well thought out dialogue and character interactions, and deliciously insightful psychology, though it is disappointingly short. While TCW is most certainly one of the best blends of gore and storytelling, and Borderline is a well-written and brilliantly thought-out in terms of psychology (I'm slightly in disagreement with the diagnosis, but whatevs), I have to award Death Note: Equestria, by Nonagon, the best psychological thriller trophy. It's just that awesome. Those make for three great examples of what to do when writing a horrorfic. Still, examples are just examples.

As I mentioned above, good horrorfics provide a mix of gore and psychological horror. Gore, of course, needs no elaboration, aside from it typically being used to induce pain empathy in pussy-ass readers. That gets you a nice little cringe. Psychological horror, on the other hand, is much more difficult to pull off. The author has to wrap a reader around his/her finger, and draw them along with a careful mix of suspense, inter-character tension, and engaging dialogue/storytelling. This is supposed to be the creeping sucker punch. If the two mix correctly, you've got yourself a fucking winner, nightmare-inducing.

Of course, it'd be too much to ask of this fandom's gore lovers to get that balance even remotely close.

One of the first problems I usually see when I'm reading yet another lousy gorefic/horrorfic is that the description is for shit. One of the greatest assets for a gorefic writer is description; it lets you force readers to imagine a scalpel blade sliding underneath their skin, or feel the cool numbness of an anesthetic as they're forced to watch themselves being dissected alive, and awake. Only an absolute moron wouldn't make use of description; at the very least, giving a reader enough detail to let them guess what is going on is a must. Yet, I still read horrorfics that claim to be scary or cringe-inducing but only have a "scream and fade out" at the delicious part where some innocent pony gets disembowelled. Seriously, if you morons keep pulling shit like that, I might be tempted to label you as soft-stomached idiots that have no idea what you're doing, beyond what I already know that you have no idea what you're doing. Pick up your shit act, and get going.

The second most common problem is, obviously, a total lack psychological horror in favor of Cupcakes-style stupidity. Yeah, I know pegasi prize their wings above everything, and that cutting them off hurts. Yes, I've seen Sweetie Belle get raped with a steak knife. Apple Bloom getting her face ripped off by a sandblaster? Boring, partner. Don't even get me started on Twilight getting her horn hacked off with a saw. So unoriginal. You see, those of us that read horrorfics and gorefics gradually become jaded after the initial shock of the first few gore-only fics. We lose interest in so much unoriginal torture and almost-repeated descriptions of flesh and muscle and sinew. The aspect psychological horror adds to a fic is the renewing draw. We might begin to lose interest in the torture and the pain, but slipping in a compelling and thrilling plot alleviates that boredom, and draws us further into the tale, where we can then delight in the sensation of being skinned alive vicariously. Really, dudes. Psychological horror and a decent plot go a long way. Without them, your fic is just another piece of shit Cupcakes wannabe, that will never be able to follow in that fic's footsteps most fully, because it's already gotten its reaction, and all you can do is be compared to it. That's especially bad, 'cause it is a real piece of crap.

Thirdly, and most obvious, is the lack of creative torture and bloodletting methods, or the stupid use of overcomplicated machines to achieve something as simple as popping a filly's eye. I can understand that it can be difficult to come up with unique and unused methods of causing pain empathy, but some things are tapped far too often. Take, for instance, pegasus wings. Most horrorfics have them being broken, or chopped off, and almost none of them seem to recall the fanon understanding that wings are one of the erogenous zones of a pegasus. Get creative with that, you twits! Unicorn horns, too. Erogenous zone, and only ever seem to be chopped off or snapped. What about carving, or drilling holes in it? Come on, use your creative juices! Ugh. Hooves can be split, teeth broken, ribs shattered, yet so often I find authors focusing entirely on the soft flesh, and completely ignoring bone. That's also a problem, obviously.

And, of course, as I mentioned earlier, I often run into horrorfics where the torturer uses some elaborate machine or some such nonsense to do simple shit like chop a stallion's leg off. Good god, just how fucking stupid can you get? Having devices exclusively intended for torture in a freaking land of colorful ponies and rainbows is bullshit, and don't even get me started on just how much of a waste of time it is to describe and write about a device that rips a pony's ribcage open, when all you need is a saw, some planking, and a few dozen clamps. Ugh. Getting creative is nice, but going overboard just makes your fic into a laughingstock, in my opinion, because everything in it is just so fucking over-tech, and overly complex. Yeah, I'm looking at you, Cheerilee's Garden.

I'm willing to bet that most of you caught my drift. Well, not really. I wouldn't bet anything on a site with as many fanbrats on it as this one has.

Now, go write some horrorfics that don't revolve entirely around shitty, boring shock value.

...And get me a fucking ground beef smoothie. I'm thirsty.

Love ya~

So begins the long, unflattering series of rants characteristic to us concritters. Well, we all knew it was bound to happen eventually.

Anyways, I've been informed by Fiver, my marvelous friend of a five dollar bill, that I'm going to catch some flak for this, and frankly, I don't give a damn. If you want to complain about what I say, you can go to my meeting room in hell. No, seriously, go to hell; I'll be with you in a few years.

Now, on to the reasons behind this blog's title: Simply, I hate HiE (Human in Equestria, for all you laymen out there) fics. They're all crappy pieces of shit with whiny protagonists that fall in love with whomever their moron of an author believes is best pony, with all sorts of angst and no end to the Gary Stu-levels of stupidity and overpowered'ness.

Perhaps I'm being too unkind. Let's backtrack, shall we?

Okay, I'll start by saying that not all HiE fics are complete junk. I recognize that there are some decent HiE fics; hell, I even like a couple of them. However, most of them are as I described them to be above. Just something to think about.

I'm sure that I'm not mistaken when I say that every brony/pegasister occasionally daydreams about suddenly being sent to Equestria. I can appreciate that fact, and empathize with those who start writing out their daydreams. It is at that point, however, that I no longer empathize, because--let's be honest--listening to other people's daydreams is boring as all get out.

Why? Well, typically, a daydreamer invents worlds where they are powerful, admired, loved, all the things that they aren't in reality, or wished they were. They create a world in which you are that one overpowered Gary Stu, with whatever abilities you wish to have at your every whim available to you. How many of you want to hear about the time I daydreamed about being able to go Equestria, fall in love with Twilight Sparkle, fuck her brains out, and then proceed to defend the world against an invasion by Discord's minions and a sudden population boom of Ursa Minors, bring Twilight back to life after the archvillain kills her, beat the shit out of aforementioned archvillain, and fuck Twi's brains out again, all the while hinting at how MLP is nothing but a television show for little girls and mocking how naive the ponies are?

Sound exciting for you readers? No? I thought not.

I'd be bored as fuck if that actually happened.

You see, the majority of HiE fics are based on little daydreams like the one I described above. These daydreams are perfectly okay, except when they are put on paper (or rather, typed into a Word.doc), and published on the beautiful site that is FimFN, where I'm forced to stare at them in horror and ask, "What the fuck is wrong with you morons?"

I have a word for those that write these daydreams down, and publish them: fanbrats.

I attribute much of what is wrong with the MLP fandom to this group; I blame them for our marvelously negative media coverage, I blame them for our marvelously bad fanfictions, I blame them for just about anything I damn well want, because they shouldn't be/aren't liked enough for anyone who knows what I'm talking about to object.

Of course, fanbrats are a rant for a later time.

The thing about HiE is that most of them follow certain cliches and themes, technical errors and grammar mistakes aside. Their characters are usually emo, overpowered, and shallow relative to the better fanfics on this site. They enter Equestria through Discord, or by dying, or by some random event that is never very well explained. They are, for all intents and purposes, defined by their cliches, and that is why I'm so thoroughly disgusted with HiE as an MLP fanfic category. Two of the best examples for this are My better life and My Second Life. Start bitching about how great they are, I dare you.

There are, of course, some that shine above the others. Rust's The Ballad of Echo the Diamond Dog, DannyJ's Human, Ex-Nihilos's Rorschach in Equestria, AdmiralTigerclaw's Arrow 18 Mission Logs: Lone Ranger, to name a few that I feel do well despite their limitations. Of course, I attribute that entirely to the fact that their authors happen to be admirably creative and proofread their work with diligence/are good enough that they have no need of proofreading.

In any case, my conclusion is that HiE fics, for the most part, are utter crap, and are only worth reading in order to discover those few gems I'm able to dredge out of that junk heap. HiE fanbrats, go fuck yourselves, and let the authors that are worth reading shine for a while.