Hey all.  I set this post to alert all readers of MLM, because it's directly related.  If that bothers you, I apologize.  I know some people don't like getting blog alerts.

The response my fic got when I first posted it was amazing, I can't stress that enough.  As a first time writer, I'm not sure what I expected, but it wasn't what I got.  Cries of "moar!" and compliments on how well written it was;  It was a big self esteem boost at a time when I really needed it.

However, the very real reality, that I've come to accept recently, is that it needs a lot of work.  Several things caused me to realize this -- reading other fanfics and then looking back at my own and seeing how flat the characters were by comparison, getting a second strike when submitting to EQD despite making extensive revisions, and some other little things not worth mentioning.

I think the biggest root of my problem is that I don't use "action tags," like, at all.  For a long time I thought it looked weird to have an action right next to something said.  

"Sure thing pardner."  Applejack grinned. "Come back anytime, ya hear?"

I don't think that anymore, but because I thought that almost all my writing is like this:

"Sure thing pardner,"  Applejack said with a grin. "Come back anytime, ya hear?"

And it's like that over and over again. He said, she said, he asked, they answered, he called, they screamed.  The EQD prereader called it talking head syndrome.  I also think the way I indent is wrong.

Anyway, what am I getting at here?  Basically, I'd like some help with editing.  I know there are a few groups for that, and I'm going to start looking into those too, but I thought I'd start here.  What I'd like to do is create an unpublished "chapter X" that's a copy of an earlier chapter, give interested people the password, so they can see the changes I make and suggest more, and revise it until it's ready to replace the original chapter.

Even if you're not interested in that, if you notice any grammatical errors in the fic, pointing them out would be much appreciated.  (I looked at chapter 7 again recently and I REALLY f'd up the dialogue punctuation in that one.  And it was like that for months. >.<  The story comments, comments on this post, or even PMs would be fine.  I reread the entire fic from start to finish every so often but I still come across little things I just glance over, even when I'm looking for errors.

And before you worry that I'm gonna spend all my time fixing and no time writing new stuff, it's not like I'm planning on stopping all updates while I revise.  The next chapter should be out today or tomorrow, but it's a chapter being written with my previous shortcomings in mind.  What that means is that it should be much better, and hopefully more in line with what I want the rest of the fic to be.

-3Power

When I learned that Mimori Suzuko was going to be the Japanese voice of Pinkie Pie, I looked up her roles.  In doing so, I discovered gdgd faeries, which is a cute little serious about a bunch of faeries that sit around and chat about weird stuff.  After hearing this ending theme/character song, I decided to ponify it.  

(Turn on captions if you want to understand what is being said)

Now that this project is finished, all creative energy goes back to My Little Mommies, sorry for the delay.

3Power, what are you doing!?  Write more My Little Mommies!  GRAGH!

Turn on annotations for subs.

When someone in Japan subtitled Friendship is Witchcraft episode 7, they created two sets of subtitles, one that accurately translated the song, and one that made it "singable" in Japanese.  One convenient midi and Vocaloid session, and we have the Japanese version of Gypsy Bard.  Enjoy!

Lyrics(translated):

If within your heart it is a rainy day,

as if the world is a toy glass ball.

If we are hurt, let us stand up tall once more.

And sing this song with hearts that haven't lost.

For me, long ago in that city, there was an accident involving fire,

and my first job at the orphanage was "dig those holes."

Many holes were opened, many holes were filled.

Now both my memories and the two of them are in ground,

but I still sing.

If your daddy and mommy have become stars, (Died)

then open your ears and listen to this melody.

When the chimes start sounding, our courage is also ringing.

With this strength born from an unwillingness to cry, we sing our song.