Chapter 1
My first story here, I know it´s not top notch or acceptable, but appreciate the idea (please?)
I also don´t own anything mentioned here, it belongs to their respective owners (wich are mentioned)
Not a self-insert, or a traditional HiE.
Hello, my name is David, my story begins one sunny day in Greenville,Texas
It was a saturday, and like every other saturday ever, me and my best friend Andres “Andy” went to the local hedgemaze, wich is special because it´s walls and decorations are changed every friday making it a good place to meet with friends and do legal/ilegal activities in it.
In our case, we always went to a random clearing in the maze, and began a karaoke session, singing pop-songs, 80´s songs and, most of the time, Lonely Island songs.
It was 2:30 Pm when I arrived at the entrance (the only place that is never moved) with my sunday backpack, wich always contains some speakers and a sony mp3 walkman, loaded with this week´s songs, and some snacks.
Andy arrived at 3:00 Pm, he is an otaku(otacu?) who is a tad pudgy but tall enough to counter it, and like me, we both had slightly tanned skin, wich was like that because we were both huge frikkis and gamers, wich didn´t really help us in physical education (dodgeball hurts like fuck).
We started walking through the hedgemaze, trying to avoid the used condoms and the people who were “too busy to notice us”.
Suddenly, Andy shouted;
“Hi sister, is that your new boyfriend?” while looking to my left, I turned to see what was happening.
I turned around fast enough to see the shadow of someone running away, and a very flustered girl.
“Damnit Andy this is the third time this month, leave me alone!”
“Nope” he said, while stretching his neck.
His sister left with an angry sigh, and tried to kick him in the balls.
He quickly moved me to the left, causing her sister to kick ME.
“FFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKK”
Her sister got even angrier and said “Now I owe you an icecream, DAMNIT”
She turned around and left, but not without shooting an extremely creepy look at Andy.
“So... did you see the last episode of Nichijou?”
“Is it really the time? Because I just got kicked in the balls!”
“It´s always time”
After that we were walking through the maze, this time sidestepping some hobos, when suddenly the lighting changed a little, when I asked Andy if the maze looked strange, and getting a negative, we found a weird clearing.
It was perfectly circular (something rare because of the lazy workers), the air was heavy with a weird feeliing, the normal benches were replaced with extra wide ones, and finally, there was a weird looking statue in the middle, it looked like a dragon goat thingy (and it looked creepily alive), the sun (it didn´t move in an hour?!) made it look ridcously cartoonish.
We decided that this clearing was perfect for our singing purposes, I began setting up the speakers against the base of the statue, and made a list of wich songs to sing and who singed each one.
When I was finished hooking up the equipment we decided that the first song we sung would be “Incredibad” by the Lonely Island, in lieu of all the “naked wrestling” we had seen on the way here.
I turned on the speakers, quickly chose the song, and we both went to the front of the statue, then we both turned our backs to it and faced an imaginary crowd as the song began.
(My lyrics are in blue, and Andy´s in red)
Nowwwwwww let's take a trip down memory lane
Back to junior high school where it all began
Three bad little kids raisin hell at school
We were just 13, straight acting the fool
Every day after class Kiva's house was the spot
Making crazy prank calls hoping not to get caught
Best friends, blood brothers, yo we one and the same
'Til one fateful afternoon when everything changed
One day playing Punch Out up and in Kiev´s room
The house started shaking and we heard a kaboom
Looked out the back window saw billowing smoke
Yo your backyard is smashed - man this isn't a joke!
(Yo let's go check this out man) (Alright bet, let's go)
All the smoke and debris led straight to the basement
Yo what the hell is that? Man it looks like a spaceship
We all ran for cover, as the hatch opened wide
And a little green dude stepped out from inside; he said
I'm from Mars, and I come in peace
I have something to ask, and it's not discrete
There's a mutated strain in our DNA helix
And you three kids are the ones who can heal it
We turned around, and as we did the music stopped, I swear that it sounded like when you scratch a vynill disc, and saw the animal/thing from the statue, moving and breathing, it´s fur was brown and it´s different parts were coloured with disregard to each other.
It smiled a toothy grin, studied our clothes (jeans and meme shirts), and said:
“Well ,thank you for freeing me, I no longer need you, but i´ll keep your walkpony (pony?), it´s too fun to pass on this”
“But-” I began.
“I cant´wait to show Celly my new toy!"it exclaimed in glee with a light blush (blushing fur?)
It snapped it´s talons, me and Andy were suddenly at the entrance of the maze, the sun was setting (how didn´t I notice that) and Andy had a shit eating grin on his face.
“Dude” I said “that creature just stole my walkman, teleported us, and you are smiling?!”
“What are you talking about?” he said while blinking his left eye.
“Oh, right, the asylum...”
We started walking home.
“...what did your sister mean with owing you icecream!?”
A/N:
Whelp, there it is, I hope you liked it, no flaming please.
I hope that my writting wasn´t horrifyingly newbish.