> The Drums of War: How to live as a Timepony
>  by ShackledTime
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Here Come the Drums... and the Hourglass
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

My name is Shane, I am an 18 year old caucasian brony from Georgia, and this is the beginning my story.

The morning brought darkness, the only light coming from my digital alarm clock, the numbers giving off a dim red luminescence, a near silent rhythm seeming to tap from outside all the while. ‘Another day, another one of Discord’s tricks’ I thought as I lay unmoving on my mattress, feeling as if most of my body was numb. I had already heard the news several days ago about the whole bronies into ponies situation, Lauren Faust became Celestia, Tara Strong to Luna, all of that and a few Facebook accounts to go along with it. 

I glanced at the clock to see what the time was, the numbers glowing 5:23. “Too early,” I say to myself as I begin to roll over to get a bit more rest. 

My eyes fly open as I hear my voice in my mind, a hint of a British accent, something I know I never had. I push myself into a sitting position, only now feeling the brush of a tail on my legs. “Oh you have got to be kidding me,” I say, the accent never faltering and the earlier patting still present. I snap on my desk light with my now limited appendage, examining the new body I undoubtedly have. But to my surprise, instead of a brown coat that I expected to be on the new hoof, I see an off blue color. “Well that can’t be right,” I continue as I remove the sheets with my other hoof, seeing a blonde tail, and an hourglass on my side. 

“Well that can’t be good,” I say as I attempt to get off my bed, my new equine legs failing me as soon as I hit the ground, a groan escaping my muzzle. I attempt to pick myself up, shakily standing on four legs as I try to think. “Okay,” I begin as I attempt to slide my right forleg to take a step, “I’m a pony, a british pony, one that isn’t Doctor Whooves, so who am I?” I stumble out of my room to look into my mirrored shelf, which at this moment is only holding my grandmothers nick-nacks that she gave to me. I see the face of a stallion who has gold colored eyes, a clean combed blonde mane and is wearing a collar, not like a dog collar, but a dress shirt-like collar, white with a red bowtie. “Oh,” I say flatly as I stare at my (or rather The Master’s) reflection. “And is there something wrong with being me?” the reflection asked, a look of annoyance on it’s face. I jump back in surprize, causing me to lose my balance and fall on my flank. “Oh, that’s rich,” the reflection chuckles, “a Timelord, jumping at his own reflection, priceless. It’s just too bad it had to be me”.

I begin to climb to my hooves as continue to stare at the cocky image of The Master. “How are you doing that?” I ask as I stumble back to where I was. “What, talking to you?” he replies, “it’s quite simple actually, we’re two minds inhabiting one body, all I’m doing is manipulating the thought of seeing your reflection into thinking you’re talking to me when in reality you’re just talking to your reflection”. He stares at me with a look of something like pity and frustration, “Are you just going to keep falling over yourself or am I going to have to teach you how to walk correctly?” he said as I continues to struggle. “I’d appreciate the help,” I remark before I hear him sigh.

“fine,” he said before I was suddenly able to stand up straight, as if I had walked on four legs my whole life. “There,” he continued, “now, to answer the next incoming question, I shared my memories of learning to walk as an equine so that you now have the muscle memory to stand, trot, gallop, and all that.”

“Wow,” I breathed, “so, let me get this straight, you were The Master on Earth,” he nodded smugly. “The same one who threw lightning from his hands?” I continued.
“Well not exactly lightning, it was a construct of electrical energy that built up inside me as I fed off of other's life force , but yes,” he answered, “but enough of that, transdimensional travel always leaves me famished, and before you think of the ‘no meat’ rule, I’m a timelord, not a common pony, so by all means, meat is on the menu, it’ll be the first I've had since I first became a pony and they told me it was ‘unethical’”. 
“Well that’s fortunate, I guess,” I reply as I begin to trot to my refrigerator, the tapping still as prominent  as before. As I stare into the sleek reflective surface of the fridge I say, “Hey,” to which the reflection blinks. “What is it now?” The Master grumbles, growing impatient for something to eat. “What’s with the tapping noise?” I ask, only to see him facehoof. “I was hoping I could avoid the drums,” he replied slowly, “not even with the thoughts of two minds does it ever stop banging”. 
‘Right,’ I thought to myself as I looked down, ashamed, ‘he was driven insane by that sound, and
now I know what it’s like. How did I forget that’. But when I looked back up, he had composed
himself, I opened my mouth to speak, but he put up a hoof to silence me, “Forget about that,” he
said, “you’ll just have to deal with it better than I did. Now, how is breakfast coming along”.

Like I said earlier, my name is Shane, I am an 18 year old caucasian brony from Georgia, and this is the beginning of my story.
> Start of an Adventure
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

  After successfully making breakfast, which consisted of scrambled eggs and bacon with a side of toast (The Master had to teach me how to properly grip things things with hooves),I sat the plate at the table and sat in the first chair I found. “Well,” I said to myself, “Let’s see how we did”. I pick up a fork full of eggs and gingerly bring it to my mouth. After a few chews, I swallow. “Huh, not bad,” I say, picking up a piece of bacon and trying it. The taste is different, but not unpleasant.

  After finishing off my food, I was already feeling used to being a pony. The only thing I had to worry about now was how to effectively use the restroom, which earned a few mental chuckles from The Master. With that done, I promptly trotted back to my room, close the door, and begin reaching for my laptop as I sat atop my bed.

  After fiddling with the latch for a few seconds, I finally got it open, now presenting a new problem. “How am I going to used anything on here?” I asked myself as I stared at the screen asking for my password for the next two or three minutes. It was then that I heard the sound of my brother, Tyler getting up in the other room.

  ‘Well, this could prove useful,’  The Master mentally told me, a slight bit of panic running in my own thoughts. My brother isn’t a fan of the whole ‘brony’ thing, he’s not like a racist against us or anything, he knows just about a third of the things I do about it, but he often says he rather he didn’t.

  “Hey, Shane you up yet?” I hear him ask from the from the other side of the door.

  “Yeah, just feeling a bit sick” I say, attempting to cover the sound of my new voice my sounding ill.

  “What, when did you get sick?” he replies, I hear him going for the doorknob, the slight jingle of the inner mechanics tapping against each other.

  “Don’t come in!” I suddenly shout, my sick voice blown as I lose focus.

  I hear his hand jerk away from the door as soon as I say it. My heart is pounding in my chest, wait, make that two hearts. Nonetheless, I am pretty much on the edge of my proverbial seat at this point, the thought of my brother seeing me like this nearly giving me a heart attack.

  “Why not?” he asked, suspicion in his voice.

  “Because,” I began, before the Master decided to interrupt my train of thought. ‘Oh, this is just pathetic,’ he said, ‘Just let the kid in and show him’.

  I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “You know what? Fine, come on in,” I say, letting the accent flow completely.

  As he finally opened the door, he looked dead at me with a look of total disbelief. I started to open my mouth to talk, but Tyler stopped me before I could speak with a raise of his hand.

  “You know what,” he began, “with all the news lately, I should've known that this would happen”.

  “Glad to see you’re so understanding,” I say flatly.

  “So, who is he, the pony you became?”

  “I happen to be the Master,” I say matter-o-factly.

  “Isn’t that supposed to the Doctor’s enemy?” he asked, giving me a quizzical look.

  “Yes, he was,” I retort, “but after being destroyed in the battle against Rassilon, he apparently went into Equestria and now he’s here, or rather, I’m here.” I finish my little explanation with a wave of my forelegs.

  Tyler gave a bit of a laugh, “Really,” he started, “after being in a battle against a near god-like entity, with lightning no less, he ended up getting thrown into a world of technicolor ponies? Yeah, I’m not buying it”.
  “Look,” I say, looking Tyler in the eyes as he came closer to me, “does it matter if you believe it or not, just help me out, please?”

  “Why, do you need something?” he asks.

  “I could use a mouse, hooves aren’t really made for heat sensitivity.”

“Right,” he says, “I’ll go grab the spare from the garage.”

  And so, I am left to my (and the Master’s) thoughts. “Well that went better than expected,” I said to myself, waiting for the Master to respond.

  ‘And that’s the thing about humans,’ he began, ‘they are capable of thinking they understand a situation to the point where they just simply accept it.’

  “Well, that’s one way to look at it,” I reply, looking at the door as I hear Tyler’s footsteps coming this way.

  “Found it,” he exclaimed, holding it at eye level before setting it next to me.

  As I plug it in, I tap softly at the keys on my keyboard with the tip of my hooves. When the loading finished, I was face to face with my New Lunar Republic background and a few icons. I use my hoof to maneuver the mouse to the Google Chrome icon, the browser opening instantly. Tyler was looking over my side at the screen, waiting for me to do something. “Can I help you?” I ask sarcastically as I look at him.

  “Sorry,” he says as he backs off a bit, giving me a bit more breathing room.

  “It’s fine, just need a bit of space,” I reply as I go to facebook for the first time in months. “Might as well announce that I was ponified,” I say, creating a new profile.

  I had Tyler snap a picture with his phone and upload it to my laptop so I could use it for the account. The shot was of me smiling as I straightened my bowtie, I think the Master may have influenced me to do that, since I never pose for a picture. 

  After that was done, I posted a message saying that I was just turned into a pony, looking to see if anyone could relate, or if they were going to pass by Georgia on the way to New York. 

  When I finished with Facebook I decided to check Youtube, see if there were any new developments. As if turns out, there was a video of a girl named Danielle who got transformed into Derpy, googly eyes and all. ‘Ouch,’ I think to myself, ‘I get a genius and she gets the one who is made fun of for being an idiot’. It talked about how she recently woke up as a pony and the morning she went through so far and saying she was looking for a ride to New York. I typed out a comment: ‘Hey, my name is Shane and I know how you feel, I just woke up as The Master from Doctor Who, but as a pony, I’d love to meet up with you to go to New York, just let me know if there’s anyway I can do to help you, remember, there is always safety in numbers.’

  I finished up using the computer, I turned to my brother, who at this point had gotten bored and was using his phone to play ROMs. “Well that’s done,” I say, drawing his attention to me.

  “So, what are you gonna do?” Tyler asked as he put his phone away.

  “At this point,” I reply, “I plan to wait.”

  “Wait,” he inquired, “wait for what?”

  “Meh, don’t know,” I say, “I just got a feeling something will come my way.”

  “So... what now?” Tyler asked.

  “Well, it’s Friday, so you need to go to school,” I reply, a smug smile on my face.

  “What?!” Tyler nearly shouted, “Why should I have to go to school if you don’t?”

  “Think about it,” I said, “If I do go to school, I’d; one, probably be made fun of for being a pony, and two, get every last bit of work done as it’s being handed out, so it’d be a bit unfair.”

  “You’ve gotta be kidding m-,” he was cut off as I used a trick I remember the Doctor using, the one that mutes someone for about five minutes by shushing them.

  I watched for the next two minutes as he struggled to make a sound while I laughed the whole time. It was honestly one of the best things about being a timepony so far.

 And so, Tyler begrudgingly got ready for school, giving me the rest of the day alone.


****

  A few hours had passed and I had gotten unbelievably bored, so bored in fact that I started digging around in my collar, which to my discovery was kinda like pocket space, you know, bigger on the inside. Inside it held the broken remains of the Master’s laser screwdriver, a few letters from a mare in canterlot, a piece of physic paper,  and a small fob watch, the one that could contain the DNA of a timelord.

  “Who are you?” a new voice asked.

  As looked around for the source, I saw my cat at edge of my door. “I’m sorry, did you just speak?” I asked, looking at the black ball of fur.

  “Yes...” she replied, backing up slightly, looking afraid, “was I not supposed to?”

  I look at her, waving my arms defensively, “No, no it’s fine,” I quickly state, “it’s just I’ve never heard a cat speak...”.

  She seems to soften up a bit, walking over to my bed and jumping on to it. “My name is Tabitha,” she says, “ but everyone just calls me Nellie”.

  She paws at my foreleg a bit, testing the hide for imperfections most likely, before repeating her previous question, “Who are you?”

  I give a little smirk before I pet her, “I guess I’m not the same as I used to be, am I?” I ask stroking her from head to tail, “It’s me, Shane”.

  She seems distracted for a moment, lost in a sea of purring, before she looks back at me, “You’re Shane, the one who feeds me extra treats every morning?” she asks, rubbing her head against my hoof, “what happened?”.

  “Transformation,” I say, “there are others that woke up like this too, seems to happen every day now.”

  “Well, I like it,” she replies, “it’s nice to have someone else to talk to, besides that overactive dog...”.


  ****


  The rest of the day was spent talking between the Master and Tabitha, the former telling me how the screwdriver was broken in the explosion from his last fight on Earth, and teaching me what parts I could gather to at least get it to function, though most of it seemed to be broken still, said it was because of ‘primitive technology’.

  Tabitha on the other hand was quite talkative after I was able to get Zipper, our dog, to stop chasing her. She told me about what her family was like, the dreams she’d have, and what she wishes she could do.

  When it came time for Tyler to return home, I had showed him the now non-lethal laser screwdriver, and told him about how Nellie felt about him, having to remind him of the whole ‘Timelords/ponies can speak and understand any language in the universe’ thing.

  I later went back to Youtube and saw another video about Danielle this one dated yesterday, “Wow I’m behind...” I say as she lists off what had happened to her, meeting up with Octavia, said mare having to go to a hospital, and being taken to the Lunar and Solar guards. I retype my comment on the newer video, hoping she sees it this time before checking my reply section, “Oh, probably should’ve done that first...”. Inside was the reply from Danielle and another from a person with the username ‘cedarpoint100’, the first reply read: ‘I would love to meet up! Currently I’m with Tavi, if you don’t mind. Well, safety in numbers! but anyways, where would you like to meet up?’. I open the second and read: ‘Could I (Ditzy) get a ride there too? I live in Ohio, but can go a ways. The more, the merrier!’I tap out the response to Danielle: ‘I guess the best place to meet would be Tennessee, if you can make it. It’s good to know you already have company, but always remain alert, remember this is Discord’s field now.’ Replying to Ditzy, I type: ‘I’ve set up a meet up with Derpy and Octavia, We’re going to meet in Tennessee. I’ll be using a signal to let you all know where I am, hope you see it, being a Pegasus should help.’.
.

  After that, there was a sudden flurry of clouds popping into my room, the thick fog obscuring my vision before it died down to reveal the spirit of disharmony himself. “Well this is certainly a drab little place to live.” Discord stated as he looked around my room, ignoring me for the moment.

 “I’m sorry,” I say, staring at the draconicus, “is there a reason for popping into my room?”

  “Yes actually,” he replied, turning to me, “I’ve come to make you an offer.”

  “Whatever it is, I’m not interested,” I say with a death glare at the creature.

 “Really?” he asks, “I’d think with a mind like yours, you’d be more onboard with taking over the world...”

  I suddenly find myself speaking, not of my own accord, “I have made peace with myself, Discord, and I suggest you leave, before things go bad”.

  I see my brother out of the corner of my eye at the door, a titanium bat in his hands, ready to strike at Discord. But as he brings it down on him, it turns into a swarm of butterflies.

  “Really?” Discord says, a second face appearing on back of his head to look at Tyler, “You thought that would work?”

  Tyler, seeing me, pushes right past Discord and goes to my side.

  “I suppose it doesn’t matter,” Discord says, “not like you can do much. Well, I have more important things to do, oh, but before I go,” Discord snaps his pawed fingers, the drumming in my head becoming ever so much more noticeable, “just in case you change your mind about the offer...”. And with that, he vanished, Tyler searching for any sign of what he had done.

**** **** **** ****



  “We need to leave,” I say quickly.

  “What?” Tyler asks, looking to me, seeing I’ve already packed my laptop & mouse, a few bits of food that I keep in my nightstand and a few other things into a backpack.

  He puts a hand on my arm, I stop and look at him. “Are you crazy,” he asks me, “you’re planning to go all the way to New York...”

  “Yes, and?” I reply, the drums in my head becoming a bit more irritating at this point.

  “And, I can’t let you go alone,” he says, “you may be the older one, but right now you’re going to have to go through Hell to get there, so I’m come with you.”

  I stare at him a look of determination on my face. “Right then,” I say with I nod, “let’s get packing then”.

**** **** **** ****



  After packing, I look at the clock, it’s only 5PM. We leave behind a note for our parents, telling them what happened and what’s going on. We started heading for Tennessee, the light of day still high in the sky. Traveling across two states is going to be a bit difficult if we’re going to walk, so, I decide to try out my screwdriver on my car, causing it to sputter to life.

  “What’d you do that for?” Tyler asked me.

  “Low level telepathic field,” I say, repeating what the Master instructed me to do, “basically, I just made driving a whole lot easier”.

  Climbing into the car was simple, as the door unlatched with a thought, I jumped right into the driver seat, mentally revving the engine of the red 1994 Toyota Forerunner. Tyler was quick to question my idea however.

  “Are you serious?” he nearly shouted, “ how do you plan to get down the road, let alone cross country?”.

  “With this,” I say, showing him the physic paper, the perfect forgery of a state driver’s license in his eyes.

  “How in the hell did you...” he begins before he remembers who he’s dealing with, “psychic paper, nice”.

  After Tyler climbs into the passenger seat, I move the gear into reverse and pull out of the driveway. “Looks like we’re headed for Tennessee,” I say, going into first gear as I enter the road, “let’s see how fast we can get there”.

> Insanity in All Its Forms
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

   We had been driving for at least a dozen hours since we first left. Tyler had fallen asleep around 1:30 this morning, making my drive much more quiet than I would’ve liked. So to pass the time, I conversed with the Master; stuff like what he could still do as an equine, which is surprisingly not that hindered, he did say he missed having thumbs though.

  It was 11:14 when Tyler finally woke up, seeing me still driving. “Did you even get any sleep?” he asked, rubbing the crust from his eyes with the palm of him hand.

  “Nope,” I replied, smiling, “I don’t need to, not unless I use a boatload of energy at once anyway.”

  “Really, huh...” Tyler yawned as he pulled out a muffin from his backpack, which was on the passenger side floor, “... I wouldn’t have thought you could do that.”

  “Still not convinced I’m the Master?”

  “Meh,” he shrugged, taking a bite from his late breakfast, “You still eat though, don’t you?”

  “I could do with a slight bit of food, I guess,” I replied.

  I pulled the car into a nearby Quiznos and cut the engine. We had already left most of Georgia behind, so we were unfamiliar with any of the people here, not that it stopped a bunch of people from staring at me as I walked up to the counter.

  I put my hooves on the counter to get the cashier’s attention. “Hello,” the woman with a name tag that read ‘Carol’ said, a sincere smile on her face, like having a pony in her resteraunt was normal, “welcome to Quiznos, how may I help you?”

  Tyler came up behind me, his phone out, probably playing Mother or something. “Yes,” I began, listing off what I’d normally get, “I’ll have a meatball sub with pepperoni, swiss cheese, and ranch dressing, and my brother will have the same, without the dressing.”

  She gave me an odd look at that, “You sure?” she asked, “I don’t think you’ll like meat, considering, you know...”

  “Oh, rubbish,”(always wanted to say that) I said, waving a dismissive hoof, “I’ll be fine.”

  “I’ll just add the pony special, just in case,” she said, writing it down on a notepad, “don’t worry, the extra is free of charge”.

  “Pony special?” Tyler said with a slightly annoyed expression, looking from his phone, down at me, “I blame you...”

  “Yeah, we’ve got a few others that live around here that were turned into ponies as well,” the cashier says with a smile, ”and we’ve been told it’s what they like.”

  “Well I’ll certainly try it,” I say, the cook’s bell rang, announcing that someone’s order was up.

  “Your total comes up to $17.04,” she said. I pulled out my wallet from my collar, pulled out a 20 and giving it to her. I got my change and the receipt as she began to gape at me.

  “Wow,” she said in amazement, staring at my collar, “how’d you do that?”

  “Oh, the collar?” I gestured to it with a hoof, “well, you know Doctor Who?”

  “A little,” she admitted.

  “Well the same principle works the same as the TARDIS,” I answered, “simply put, it’s bigger on the inside.”

  “That is so cool,” she replied, “what else you got in there?”

  “Just a few personal things,” I said, enjoying the attention.

  It was then that our own order arrived. “Thank you, Carol,” I nodded my thanks as Tyler carried the tray over to a table. The pony special apparently came with a side of hayfries, from what the Master told me.
 
 I unwrapped my sandwich, Tyler having already dug into his, the smell alone nearly made my mouth water. ‘That’s the thing about Timelords,’ the Master mentally said, ‘eating isn’t really as important, so you feel it tastes better since you don’t eat as much.’. I then took a bite from my mess of a sandwich, only to have some sauce and a meatball fall out the other end.

  “Damn,” I said to myself, deciding to spear the ball on a fork and eat it anyway, seeing the ‘pony special’ still wrapped up, I opted to see what Carol was talking about. I wrapped up the meatball one and scoot it to the side in favor of the new one. Unwrapping it revealed a lettuce and onion sandwich, with a few seasonings. I take a bite and almost started to laugh ‘Didn’t think a veggie sandwich would ever taste as good as meat,’ I thought to myself. I take a bite of one of the fries, “Not bad,” I said appreciatively, nodding my approval, “could use a bit of salt, but still”.

  We ate the rest in silence, thanking Carol for the sandwich before we leave, half a meatball sub still uneaten for later.

  When we reached the car, I noticed that; one, we were low on gas, and two, my laser screwdriver was losing energy, fast. ‘Blasted human technology,’ the Master scowled, ‘limited energy is going to be a hassle if we need to charge the thing every day’. “So,” Tyler began shifting my focus to him, “did you see any gas stations near here?”

  “No, but I did see a billboard saying there was once a mile up the road,” I said, using a bit more of the screwdriver’s power to start the mental link back up, getting in the driver seat as I do so.

  “Then you’d better start driving,” Tyler smirked as he climbed in next to me.

  I looked around the dashboard and saw something, the car outlet to be exact, ‘maybe I could hook something to the screwdriver so it’d charge off here,’ I thought, waiting for the Master to respond. ‘No that won’t work,’ he said, ‘not nearly enough electricity in there to even charge it half way’.

  We found the station easily enough, and I decided to try my luck with a quick jumpstart of power from an outlet behind the station. So, I worked my way into the socket, removing the panel so I could get at the wires. As soon as I was able to do that, I spliced the wires and just about electrocuted myself when I touch them.

  I quickly attached the wires to the base and tip of the laser screwdriver, a loud pop and the generator cutting off sounded as soon as I did so, people inside immediately freaking out inside the building, “What happened to the lights?” I heard a woman say. I looked back down at my screwdriver and saw it was glowing, almost too brightly at first, before it died down and I picked it up.

  “Run...” I said, trotting quickly to the car, Tyler followed close behind. As soon as we closed the doors, I started driving away, fearing that I may have just majorly damaged private property. I made no move to show it on my face, but I’m kinda afraid of going to jail right now. A few minutes passed and I’m fairly certain we weren’t followed, I breathed a sigh of relief, knowing that at least we got away without a hassle.


**** **** **** ****




  “So, how far to Tennessee?” Tyler asked as we continued to drive.

  “Not too far actually,” I said, “about another half hour at the most”.

  A sudden pain shot through my head, ‘Oh no,’ the Master said suddenly, the drums beating faster than before. I quickly pulled off to the side of the road and stopped the car, clutching my head in pain, groaning in agony.

  “Shane,” my brother started, a look of fear on his face, “what’s wrong?”

  “I...” I stuttered, “I don’t know, ju...just let me rest for a bit.”

  As soon as I finished saying that, my body started to sway before I fell unconscious, face on the wheel.


**** **** **** ****


  I open my eyes to see that I’m standing on my feet, nothing underneath me as I look around.  My feet, I’m human again. “Hello,” I call out, my voice is mine again, but it still has the Master’s accent. I took a step forward and the floor shows itself, a bright glow blinding me for a moment, illuminating a stained glass pillar, a gallifreyan choir softly singing from somewhere unknown.  My breath is caught in my throat, the image of the Master and I on opposite sides, faces we each know in the circles surrounding us; Chantho, Rassilon, The Doctor, Tyler, my father, and my mother, the rest of the circles were full of Gallifreyan writing.

  “What do you think?” I hear a voice say.

  I quickly turn to see the Master, though it looks as if he’s shifting somehow, like I see him as a human one moment, and as a pony the next. “A station of awakening...” I say, looking at him with a bewildered look on my face.

  “Yes,” he said, “I shifted through your memories and found something similar to this from a game called ‘Kingdom Hearts’, I saw that you were fond of it, and I thought it would be a good place to talk”.

  “What happened just now?” I ask.

  “A mental break,” he stated, “I had put up a barrier on your mind as soon as Discord caused you to have to hear those drums”.

  “So, I’m losing my mind?”

  “It’s highly possible,” he said, “remember what happen to Donna when she remembered the Doctor?”

  “What’s going to happen to me?”

  “In all honestly, I don’t know, the merge is already starting to take effect”.

  “Merge?” I ask, “what do you mean ‘merge’?”

  “Look for yourself,” he said pointing to me.

  I look down and see that I’m wearing a black hoodie , red shirt and grey sweats, the same thing the Master wore when he fought Rassilon and ‘died’. “So I’m becoming you?” I asked.

  “From what I gather,” he explains, ”we have no choice in the matter, and most likely, you’ll be overridden by my memories and insanity, what with Discord’s influence trying to kill us”.

  I stand there for a few minutes in silence, my head down, my thoughts a mix of emotions. The Master walked up to me, putting a hand/hoof on my shoulder, “I’m sorry you ha-”

  “No...” I interrupt, “I won’t accept that.”

  I could feel the Master staring at me, “But we can’t control it...”

  “I don’t care,” I say, looking at him in his pain filled eyes, “I won’t lose myself just because I’m told I will”. I’ve always been the one to break expectations, a bit of a bad habit considering it got me in and out of trouble several times in my life.

  “How?” he asked, a stern look on his face.

  “By being something Discord wouldn’t think I would be.”

  “And what would that be?” the Master asked me, a hint of a smile creeping onto his face.

  “Hopeful,” I say.

  The Master chuckles a bit at that, “Humans,” he begins, “they’re the only race that believes in the impossible, but when it comes down to it, that’s what keeps them alive, hope”.

  I look at the Timelord and see him staring off into the black void around us. I follow his gaze and before me is the universe, all that has been, is, and will be, the entirety of space and time unfolding before my eyes. All the war, the violence, the blood... but then there were the good things, the prospering of civilizations, the kindness they would show each other.

  “I’d forgotten these memories...” the Master said as he looked on, “the drums made me forget”. I was too busy to hear him, the sights and sounds beginning to almost hurt to take in. “This is the time vortex,” he told me, “all the knowledge of the universe in the mind of an insane Timelord”.

  The images faded from view, leaving the pillar alone in the void. “No matter how much you try though,” the Master said turning to me, “you will be flooded with my memories, it’s all on you if you can handle them or not, remember that”.

  “Go through my memories,” I said soberly, “see just what humans are capable of, sure I’m scared as hell of losing myself, but that won’t stop me from trying.”




**** **** **** ****


    I woke up and found a few feathers in my mouth, the remnants of a down pillow in my hooves. I spit out the feathers and looked at the clock in the car to see that it was only 2:37PM, so I was only out for a short bit. I looked around to see Tyler standing outside the car, phone to his ear, talking to our dad probably. I caught only the end of the conversation, “... yeah, I’ll make sure... okay, see you when this is all over, bye”.

  He climbed back into the car and saw the ruined pillow. “Um... where’d you get the pillow?” he asked picking a feather out of my coat.

  “That’s what I was going to ask you,” I say, tossing the pillow into the back of the car.

  “Huh... so, are you feeling okay?” he asked me.

  “Yeah,” I assured him, “I’ll be fine, it was just a bit of a thing that happens to the Master often, apparently”. I didn’t want to tell my brother he might lose me, at least not now, so I decided to keep that bit of info to myself. I started up the car and began driving, making small talk as we went.

  “So,” I began, “if you had to choose, what do you think would win in a fight, living Gak or Morpha from Ocarina of Time?”

> Tick-Tock Goes the Clock
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

  We continued to go about our conversation of ‘who’d win in what fight’ for a bit, laughing when we would get into debate of how powerful each thing was: Link VS Cloud, Samus VS Master Chief, etc. . It was a good 15 or so minutes until I heard Tyler’s phone go off, Tyler went to look at the caller ID, but I was almost sure I knew who it was.

  “It’s dad,” Tyler said (bingo), showing me the screen before answering. “Hello?”

  I waited as Tyler talked to him before he suddenly held it in my direction. “He wants to talk to you,” Tyler said.

  So, I pulled off to the side of the road and took the phone in my hooves. “Yeah, dad?” I quickly answered, unsure of how he would react, I mean, he knew I was a brony, but still...

  “Wow, you even have his voice,” was the first thing I heard him say over the slight static.

  “Uh, yeah...” I said, slightly confused, “so, I take it Tyler told you who I am?”

  “Yeah,” he replied with a chuckle, “and I gotta say; you’ve got to be the luckiest Doctor Who fan ever at this point.”

  Well that’s a relief, he takes it as a good thing... kinda. “Eh, I’d say that role would have to go to whoever got the Doctor himself.” I suddenly had a flush of memories come to me, images of the Doctor, as both a childhood friend, and a lifelong rival of mine- er, the Master’s.

  I was so caught up in them that I only got half of what my dad asked, “-it like being a Timelord?”

  “Huh? Oh, well, I don’t need to sleep, that’s a plus,” I stated, “and I know just about every alien race and language ever made.”

  “Nice,” he complimented, “what about the physical stuff?”

 I thought about that for a moment, thinking of the different things a timelord can do. Experimentally, I stuck out my tongue and tasted the air, which tasted strongly of burnt ozone and warm oxygen. “Well, I can analyze things, just by tasting the air.” I turned to Tyler for a moment, “Oh and Tyler, it’s going to rain in 4 minutes and 26 seconds, might want to roll up your window.”

  I could hear my dad laughing at this point; him being a Doctor Who fan himself, he must think it’s awesome to be able to do this stuff. But, just like Tyler, I will not tell him he might lose me to the over 900 years worth of memories in my head.

  I heard some of his co-workers talking, a familiar voice saying, ‘Dude, I don’t care if he’s a freaking god, he still got turned into a pastel horse’, swiftly followed by an ‘ow’, most likely Mathew, he’s kinda the joker at the workplace, probably watches MLP himself.

  “Well, I just wanted to check up on you two,” my dad said as he returned to his phone, “just, make sure you don’t get hurt.”

  “Dad, I’ve got a laser screwdriver, I’m gonna be fine,” I said, smirking.

  “Oh, Tyler never told me about that,” he replied, “you need to be careful with that, killed Jack a few times.”

  “Don’t worry,” I reassured him, “it’s non-lethal now, it was broken when I found it, and human tech only got it working to a degree.”

  “Well, still, don’t go blowing stuff up with it.”

  “I won’t.” I said, the Master making a rather upsetting comment at that, the drums following his words. ‘Huh, I forgot about the other ways I would torture those who would cross me; compression, internal expansion, those were days I’d rather not repeat.’

  ‘Try not to think about it,’ I thought back, ‘I think your memories are getting to me.’

  “Okay, see you when this is all over, bye.” I said waiting for him to confirm that he heard me.

  “Yeah, bye.” he said, hanging up.

  I hooved Tyler his phone got back on the road, trying to keep the my mind on anything other than my- The Master’s memories. I sighed, focusing on the rest of the trip, and how I was going to signal the others when I get there. ‘Maybe I could put up some flyer, tell them where I am.’ I thought, stopping at an intersection. ‘No, that won’t work, the State’s too big for flyers to work.’ the Master added.

  Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a group of four or five people, staring at me, all of whom were wearing the same letters, P.A.P.A, somewhere on their clothes.

   ‘Don’t look at them.’ the Master mentally ordered me.

  ‘Why?’ I asked in my head.

  ‘I got a glance at them, and judging from the body language, they’re looking for a fight.’

  ‘Right.’ I confirmed, the light changing to green, allowing me to avoid their piercing eyes as I drove on.


**** **** ****


  I looked through the rain that had started, seeing a billboard that read, ‘Now entering Tennessee’. Looking at the digital clock on the dashboard, I saw it was 3:16, we’d arrive in a decent amount of time. Now if only the rain would let up, I’d be able to try and make something to signal the others... I kept thinking about it as I drove into the city, the drums a mental clock in my head, it’s gotten to the point that I could tell how long I’ve been thinking by counting how many times the drums rang, 924 repetitions, 15 minutes and 24 seconds, god I’m bored of driving.

  I decided to pull into a Golden Corral, not really hungry, more, just so I can stretch my legs. So, Tyler and I had to rush inside, the rain just about drenching my coat. When we finally got inside, we were greeted with the same odd stare as before they returned to their endless buffet of food. “Ah, it feels good to finally stretch,” I said, throwing my forehooves forward, allowing me to get a few kinks out of my legs. 

  After limbering up a bit, I got back into a normal standing position, walking around before a man came up to me. 

  “I’m sorry,” he began, obviously an employee, “but I’m going to have to ask you to dry yourself before you walk around.”

  “Oh, my apologies,” I say, quickly removing myself from the red carpet and going over to the rubber mat at the entrance, “would you be able to lend me a towel?”

  “Of course,” he replies, going to retrieve one.

  And so, I waited, greeting the other slightly drenched customers that walked in as I stood there, even getting a few hugs from kids. After another minute, the man returned with a red towel.

  “Here you are sir,” he said in the most polite way possible as he handed it to me, though it seemed a bit forced, like he didn’t want to have me, but didn’t want to turn down something that would increase the restaurant's popularity, even if it is temporary. “Would you care for a table?”

  “Thank you,” I said, finishing drying off, “but I’m not hungry at the moment, though, I would care for a drink. And don’t worry, I can pay.” I finish by pulling out my wallet from my collar.

  “Very well,” he said, “what drink would you like?”

  Tyler was the first to answer, “I’ll have a Mountain Dew.”

  “And I will have strawberry fanta, you you don’t mind.” I followed up.

  He went back behind the counter, tallying up the cost, as well as having another person prepare the drinks.

  “Your total is $2.40,” he said the numbers showing on the register.

  I handed him a five, and the other person gave Tyler the drinks. Tyler immediately took a long sip of him before giving me my glass. I took it in my grasp, the container seeming to be glued to my hoof to anyone looking at first. 


**** **** **** ****


  As it turns out, having a pony in the place encouraged a lot of people to come by, from children to teens, and even whole families. Maybe I could use this to my advantage. 

  “Okay,” I said to the crowd that had gathered to see me, “now, currently, I’m very glad you all have come, just to see me, but, right now, I’m looking for a couple of friends, so, if it isn’t too much to ask, could some of you make sure to mention that you saw me here, especially to a grey pegasus mare? I’d greatly appreciate it.”

  In response, I was given several peoples cooperation, some of them put up posts on their Facebooks, others promised to tell any other ponies they see about me, and just about everyone wished me luck. Looks like I was going to be getting popular fast, maybe even faster than when I ran for Prime Minis- NO, not me, the Master, damnit this is getting difficult...

> One of Two
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

  I had been conflicted with my mind, I've been in Golden Corral for the last hour, and the drums are starting to get annoying, not to mention every time I finished off my Fanta they’d give me an instant refill, which didn't help my bladder in the least. And after about my tenth glass, I needed to separate myself from all my adoring fans as it were.

  “Hey, sorry everyone,” I said after giving a hug to the latest kid to ask for one, “I have to go for a bit; private matters.”

 There was a collective sound of disappointment as I started heading to the washroom. I was thankful that the doors there were push doors, much easier to get into. When I got inside, I was instantly assaulted by the smell of overused bathroom cleaners and hand soap.

  “Bleh,” I involuntarily sounded, covering my muzzle, “well, I guess that’s a downside to being able to taste the air...”. 

  I quickly entered a stall and relieved myself, another person entering the room as I did. After having been going for a bit, I noticed something while I went; no sound from the other person.

   ‘Good observation,’ the Master told me, ‘let’s see what we can make of it.’. 

  ‘Well,’ I began mentally, ‘being that we recently saw a group that’s stare would collectively rival a cockatrice, I’d say we try to keep our head down’.

  “Hey,” the man said in a deep southern accent, “hurry up in there”.

  “Sorry, rather large equipment,” I joked, just about finished. I took a breath, flushing and exiting the stall to look directly at a man wearing a hat with ‘PAPA’ stitched into it. He stared daggers at me, as I make my way to the door. But as I pushed against the door, it wouldn't budge.

  “I’ve got something to give you,” the man said, walking up behind me, the sound of metal clinging completely evident, “courtesy of Mr.Silence.”

  I took the time to turn around, seeing him with a butterfly knife in his left hand.

  “And, before you do,” I said, the man standing there, all intent to use the weapon, “who is this ‘Mr.Silence’?”

  “No one you’ll ever meet.” he said, lunging at me. I quickly leapt to the right , but only just so, he managed to cut me on my left ear and cheek, the taste of copper already filling my over-sensitive taste buds.

  “Bloody hell,” I said, clutching my ear before I couldn't feel anything, my body moving of it’s own volition.
  The man was slightly off balance, and my left hind leg shot out, slamming into his ribs. I watched as he fell to the side, knife flying out of his grasp.

  “That wasn't a very smart thing to do,” I said, voice full of malice, not in control of my own actions, kicking him again, a pained grunt sounding as he staggered away and to his feet, clutching his rib cage. I had taken out the laser screwdriver, creating a frequency that started to make his ears bleed. He let go of his chest and held his ears, I instantly turned around and bucked him in the legs, the sickening sound of bone cracking hit my ears. He promptly  fell forward on his face, before I was suddenly back in control of my body again. I let out a breath I didn't realize I was holding, and looked at the man on the ground, blood on the floor. 

  “What did you do!?” I shouted at the Master, not even noticing I had screamed it.

  ‘I took control,’  he said, as if it were natural, ‘he was attempting to murder you and I had to stop him.’

  “And you murdered him!” I retorted.

  ‘No, he’s not dead, knocked out, I gave him a fractured rib cage, ruptured eardrums and a dislocated femur, and possibly a broken nose from the amount of blood on his face.’

  “Still, you could’ve tried to reason with him.” I said, touching my nicked ear, pulling away as I breathed in sharply through my teeth, a spot of blood on my hoof visible as I brought it to my face. I left it alone as I stood on my hind legs, unlocking the door. Walking out, I noticed several pairs of eyes on me, not threatening, but worried, most likely from seeing the blood on my face.

  “Mommy, why’s he bleeding?” I heard a little girl say.

  Needless to say, I felt like I was about to start running away from them, not wanting to be seen as a menace by the very people, who, only minutes ago were eager to see me. I trotted over to the manager at the front desk, he looked about ready to run as I came up to him.

  “Sir, there is a man in the restroom on the floor, unconscious,” I said, keeping my voice as neutral as possible, “he attempted to kill me, and so I defended myself. I suggest you remove him from the premise as soon as possible.”

  “R-right,” he said, heading to the restroom.

  “And may I trouble anyone for a sanitation towel, hydrogen peroxide, perhaps?” I asked the crowd, to which a young woman in a trench coat pulled out a brown bottle and a rag from her bag, handing it to me.

  “Here,” she said, her voice sounding almost as if she was talking to a dead man, “I’m sorry for what happened...”

  “Don’t be,” I said, Tyler taking the bottle and applying some of it’s contents to the cloth, “it was the fault of no one but the man in that room and myself.”

 Tyler began to dab the rag on my face, the chemical burning my face slightly as he cleaned it, though I made no sign to show it, a stoic expression on my face.

  The manager came out moments later, the attacker’s face covered in a towel as he was taken to a room in the back, everyone watching as he went. When he was gone, everyone looked back at me, a mixture of emotions on their faces; some looked relieved, others seemed scared, but of everyone, it was a child I noticed the most, a little girl with tears in her eyes, holding her mother’s hand.

  I decided to show myself out, not wanting to have to see a child cry. The rain had let up for the most part, and I heard a muttering from the roof. I looked towards the sound and saw a blonde maned mare in a green trench coat , rocking back and forth in a fetal position.

  “Excuse me,” I said up to her, “who are you?”, the only response was more muttering, but I could only make out a little.

  “Two by two, hands of blue.” she said under her breath.

  “I’m sorry, what are you talking about?” I found a ladder on the side of the building and hazarded a climb. She immediately stopped muttering and looked up at me.

  “Sorry about that, just making a reference.”

  “You look scared, are you alright?”

  “Mostly. I thought Discord brought in my least favorite element of Firefly.”

  “Firefly...” I said, running my hoof under my chin, the rain matting my mane to my coat, “oh, the television show, I remember that, but the idea escapes me, what exactly are you afraid of?”

  “The noise that makes you bleed.” She waited a second. “I thought I heard it.”

  “Oh...” I say, wide eyes, “that...”

  “Is everyone okay!?”

  “For the most part, yes,” I say, pointing to the left side of my face, “only myself and my attacker were harmed.”

  “Lemme guess. Your attacker had blue gloves on.”

  “Actually...” I pause for a moment, “the sound was from me, the man had a butterfly knife, and those things are bloody sharp.”

  “Would you happen to be The Master?”

  “Yes, but please, just call me Shane.” I insisted, “And that would make you either Derpy or Ditzy, correct?”

  “Yes. I’m Ditzy, with Chris riding in the back.” She paused. “Hey! I am not riding in the back!”

  “Oh, well that’s interesting...” I said as I looked at the pegasus. “You have conflicting control?”

  “We generally agree. Definitely conflict some of the time, though.”

  “Huh, well, would you like to go inside, It’s pretty cold out here.”

  “It is, isn’t it?” She was silent for a second. “Well, cold resistance and coats help mask that...”

  “Lucky you, all I got is this bowtie that’s bigger on the inside.” I say, pointing to said bowtie.

  “Do you have any idea how hard it is to sit still while they measure your wings? It was hard enough to do so without the fact that they’re highly personal.”

  “Well, I don’t know about the wing part, but getting my suit made for the elect-” I immediately hit my head with a wet hoof at the memory, one I shouldn’t have.

  “Did you have a compulsion to fly around?”

  “Well, I’ve always wanted to, but that’s about it.”

  “I’m talking a literal compulsion.” She jumped off the side of the building.

  I should’ve been worried about that, and I was, before I remembered, she’s a Pegasus. I looked over the side down at her before following down the ladder. “So, you need to fly?”

  “It feels like it sometimes.”

  “Well I suggest you come inside, at least get something to eat, you must be famished.”

  “Food does sound good. I haven’t had any real food since Myra’s.”

  “Myra’s?” I asked, “I don’t believe I’m familiar with that establishment.”

  “It’s a tiny little restaurant right beside the main campus of the University of Cincinnati. It’s got great food.”

  “Well that’s a bit away, why don’t I treat you to an early dinner, since you flew all the way here?” I said, holding open the door. “Oh, and before I forget, there might be fans waiting for us, well me more so.”

  “Can’t be The Master without a fanclub...” She grumbled.

  “Please don’t,” I said solemnly, “I very well may have made children cry from the scuffle I was in, I don’t want to hurt anyone, and I certainly don’t want them to worry.”

  “What exactly happened in there?”

  “Someone from a group with a uniform of PAPA on their clothes, said something about a ‘Mr.Silence’ before he lunged at me with a knife and I nearly killed him.”

  “PAPA? Can’t say I've heard of them...” She said, entering the restaurant

  “Most likely an abbreviation,” I said, keeping my voice down as we went back to the counter, many of the people having left and another manager awaiting us.

  “Welcome back, sir,” he said, much friendlier than I expected, “and who is your friend?”

  “I’m Chris, inside of Ditzy.” She paused. “Hey, I’m in me too!”

  “I see...” the manager replied, “and would you care for a table?”

  “Sure, I could really go for some food.”

  “Right,” he said, tapping numbers into the register, “that’ll be $23.99 for the group.”

  I pulled out my wallet from my collar, waiting to see what Ditzy’s reaction would be. She searched in her coat pockets, finding some money.

  “I told you, I’ll pay,” I said, pulling out a twenty and a ten, handing(hoofing?) it over to the manager.

  “Oh, okay. I must’ve lost it in the gap.”

  “Don’t worry about it,” I said as we went to get a table, Tyler finally deciding to join up with me.

  “When’d you meet Derpy?” he whispered to me.

  “She’s Ditzy, not Derpy,” I replied, “and she was on the roof, apparently.”

  “Really?” he continued, a little louder, enough for her to hear, “what, like her sister or something?”

  “Yep, twins.” she answered.

  “Huh...” was all he said before going off to get his own plate of food.

  “So... What’s up with him?”

  “He’s not a fan of the show, he just knows some stuff because he’s around me a lot.” I said, grabbing a plate and getting a slice of pepperoni pizza.

  “Wait, are you sure you can...Oh, what am I saying, of course you can eat meat...”

  “Oh, I’m sorry, is that offensive?” I ask, about to put it back.

  “No, it isn’t. I rather liked meats before,” She gestured to herself. “This happened." There was a near invisible twitch in her movement, so small even the Master almost missed it, before she spoke up again. "Wait, you liked eating THAT?” 

  “My apologies,” I said, putting back the piece and getting cheese and veggie instead. “Being biologically different makes it a bit difficult to fit in, even among ponies.”

  “You don’t have to change what you’re eating for one half of me...”

  “No, I don’t want you to feel awkward, just forget about it.”

  “Okay then...” She said, getting her own pizza.

  A bit later and we were at our table, Tyler got a plate of popcorn shrimp and chicken breast, I had the pizza a buttered bread rolls and Ditzy had pineapple pizza and a small pile of various melon, including cantaloupe, honeydew, and watermelon.

  “So,” Tyler began, looking between the two of us, “are you traveling with us?”

  “I guess I am.” She shrugged. “It beats flying alone.”

  “And that’s the one thing I’m jealous about,” Tyler went on, “some of you can fly now, others can do magic, hell, he’s a freaking Time Lord.” he ended, pointing at me. 

  “And we have to relearn walking, not to mention learning to fly and do magic. Besides, many of us are genderbent as ponies.”

  “Really?” he asked, “I didn’t know that, who are you talking about?”

  “Me, for example. Do you know any girls who call themselves ‘Chris’?”

  “I know a girl named Christine, she goes by Chris.” he replied.

  “Any others?”

  “No,” he replied, eating a piece of shrimp, “not like I try and find them though.”

  “Don’t be jealous, except for him. He’s a Time Lord.”

  The Master decided to speak for a moment, “Being a Time Lord’s not all it’s cracked up to be though, imagine being as old as an entire species and having to watch it die...”

  “Yikes, I hadn’t thought of that...”

  I was instantly back in control, ‘What the hell, Master, why’d you go and say that?’ I asked mentally. ‘I don’t want them to think being a thousand years old is a good thing.’ . I had to think of something to counter the Master’s comment. “Being a Time Lord is both a curse and a blessing, I guess, every ride has it’s ups and downs, my ride’s just a bit longer.”

  “The blessing is that you’re overpowered?”

  “The blessing is that I get to see civilizations prosper, and help in whatever way I can.” I say to Ditzy, ignoring that little comment. 

  “That’s quite the blessing.”

  “Yeah, I guess it is...”




**** **** **** ****


  A half hour later and the rest of the meal was eaten, and we were on the road again, me at the wheel Tyler in the passenger seat and Ditzy sleeping in the back seat.

  “So, that whole ‘being a Time Lord’ thing...” Tyler began, “what was that about?”

  “Just... evaluating the facts,” I lied, keeping my focus on the road, the cut on my face and ear dried.

  “Well, I’ll be sure not to let you have to go through it alone,” he said, “for as long as I can.”

  “...Thanks, Tyler,” I said as I felt another one of the Master’s memories enter my mind, another person making the same promise, a single tear falling unnoticed down my soon to be scarred cheek.

> A Bit of a Break
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

 It’d been a few hours now, and we were well on our way down the road. I had my eyes on the road, Tyler was asleep in the passenger seat, and Ditzy...  

 “Why can’t I sleep!?” she suddenly yelled, causing me to jerk slightly.

 I slowed down the car to look at Ditzy in the rear view mirror, “You’re having trouble sleeping?”

 “Yes.” she said, sitting up, “It’s odd; I had no trouble sleeping before...”

  I simply shrugged at the statement, “I don’t really blame you, I wouldn’t want to sleep knowing I’m with a previously psychotic alien.” ‘Oh, come off it!’ the Master mentally scorns, making me flinch, ‘I’m no more insane than you are at this point.’


   “Yeah,” Ditzy admitted, after thinking, “that would explain it.”

  I looked to my side to see Tyler sleeping with his earphones in, I can still hear the music, a faint violin can be heard in rapid tempo, and I kinda crack a smile at him. “Just like most of the human race,” I said under my breath, “completely oblivious to the world around him...”

  I shake my head of the foreign thought as I hear something shifting in the backseat and look in the rear view mirror for the second time, seeing Ditzy pull up her laptop.

  “What are you doing?” I asked.

  “Trying to figure out what to do.” she replied, tapping a few keys, “It’s most likely going to be solitare.”

  ‘I wonder...’ I think to myself, ‘Master, I’m going to try something.’

 ‘What, what are you planning to do?’ he asks.

  “I might be able to make that a bit less boring.” I told her, ignoring the Master’s question.

  “Oh? How so?” she asks, looking at my eyes in the mirror, “Does it involve the laser screwdriver?”

  “Kinda,” I admit, “I mean, if the Doctor can give a cell phone crystal clear reception to the year 2006 from the end of the Earth, I think I can give you global internet access.” Ditzy is smiling like she just won the lottery at this point.

  “That sounds awesome!” she nearly shouts, Tyler not even flinching.

  ‘Seriously, that’s what you’re doing?’’ the Master complains, ‘You’re going to up and use the thing for a little tinkering, and you even compared what it can do to what the Doctor’s done. Really, laser is obviously superior to sonic technology.’


  “Yeah, let me just...” I said, reaching into my collar with little success, “I need to pull over for a sec.”

  “I’m fine with that.” I heard her say; I could almost hear the ‘squee’.

  I pull off to the side of the road, away from traffic. As soon as we’re parked, Ditzy just about leaps out of the back door, myself getting out with a bit more casually.

  “Alright,” I said, finally pulling free the laser screwdriver from my collar, “Let me get a look at that laptop.”

  She carefully handed me the rather bulky laptop, “Careful with it,” she said, “it’s a bit heavy.”

  “Heavy, really?” I asked, gently setting it on a dry patch of grass. “Maybe for your pegasus frame, but for me?” I continue,” It’s a bit heavier than a Toshiba, I’ll give it that.” I open up the computer and take the screwdriver to the topright corner of the screen, connecting every available relay to the modem.

  “What do you want with the screen?” Ditzy asked, pointing to the keyboard, “The modem’s here.”

  “Yes, it is,” I said, continuing to work, “but I need to connect certain frequencies throughout the whole thing. Basically, I’m making the whole thing a receiver.” The laptop pings as the job is done, the internet configuration screen popping up with over a dozen full bar connections.

  “Ya know what?” she said, almost bored sounding. “I’ll just chalk it up to you being a Time Lord.”

   “That, and technological advances, the likes of which you’ll never see.” I bragged, starting to put the laser screwdriver back.

  “I’m looking at them right now.” She said, looking directly at the device in my hoof.

  “Well, this is only a bit of what I could have.” I said, before a sudden memory of all the trinkets and objects the Master had on his TARDIS appeared in my head, “The rest is on the TARDIS, wherever it is...” I suddenly add.

 “Could I have a look at the screwdriver?” she asked, snapping me out of my slight trip down the wrong side of memory lane.

  I looked between the Pegasus in front of me and back to the tool I’m holding “I guess?” I answer, “I mean, it’s not like you could hurt someone with it, unless you threw it at them.”

   “I know. I can’t even drive screws with it.” she jokes.

  I place the screwdriver in her hoof, the metal clanking as it shifts slightly, “Alright, just make sure to give it back then you’re done,” I said, “I’ve only got one of those, you know.”

  “I will.” She said, looking it over, giggling like a schoolfilly.

  I looked back at the clock in the car, it read almost 8:00 at night. “Well, I’m going to take a short nap,” I said, about to jump back into the car, “kinda helps numb the gash.”

  “Be back soon!” she said, just about blasting into the air.

  I got into the back seat, making sure to grab Ditzy’s laptop when I did, falling into a slight sleep almost as soon as I lay down.


**** **** **** ****




   “Nooooooo!” I suddenly heard outside, making me jump right out the door as soon as I could manage, Tyler shifting slightly uncomfortable, Ditzy’s voice apparently a bit louder than his music.

  “What happened!?”I asked, frantically looking around.

  “I dropped it!” Ditzy said back, sitting in front of the laser screwdriver.

  “Oh, thank god.” I breathed a sigh of relief, “I thought you were hurt.” I said, picking up the screwdriver, “It seems to be all in one piece.”
 
  “How?” Ditzy asked, “I dropped it from the clouds!”
 
  I looked at her with the straightest face I could muster, “It only broke severally from an explosion from a gap in time-space, and you honestly think a little fall would smash it?” I ask, sending a small signal through the device, only to hear it fade in and out. “Well, that’s not supposed to happen.” Ditzy looks like she’s on the verge of making a break for it, probably scared to death of what I’d do to her. “Seems a couple of the lens broke...” I said, looking it over for anything else.
 
  ‘And this is what you get for letting her play with something far beyond her understanding.’ The Master mentally scorns, ‘The thing’s only got a fraction of a fraction of its energy output, probably only good for scanning and opening locks at this point…’. I let out a sigh as he ends his rant. “Well, it seems it’s about as useful as a sonic, probably less.” I said, the Master scoffing in my head.
 
  “Sorry...” she apologized, avoiding eye contact, her ears flat against her head and her tail wrapped around her front.
 
  “Hey, honest mistake, don’t sweat it.” I said, putting the device away, “Just remember next time that just because you can stand on clouds, doesn’t mean everything can.”
 
  Ditzy visibly loosened, her body not so tightly locked together, though she was still quiet.
 
  “Well, back to trav-” I stopped mid-sentence as I just realized something, “Oh well this is just bloody fantastic...”

  “Oh, now what?” Ditzy finally spoke up.

  “I can’t drive now...” I grumble.

  “Oh.” She said, looking guilty, but suddenly started to grin.

  “And what’s got you so happy?” I ask, an eyebrow raised.

  Ditzy pulls out her laptop from the backseat,  “Name a style of music.” she said, “I’m waking up your brother.”

  “Alright...” I said, thinking, “classical dubstep.”

  “I was thinking something on the heavy end of Futurepop,” she said, starting up something on screen, “but I can work with that.”

  “I’m... not familiar with the genre...” I said, curious.

  “Noone much is.” she replies, pausing for a moment, “I have an idea.”

  “Alright, let me guess,” I started, raising my hoof “you’re going to change his music to startle him awake.”

  Ditzy just sat there with a goofy looking grin. I smirk at her for her little prank, not to mention how adorable it looks, seeing a pony smiling like that.

  “Go for it.” I said, agreeing to go along with it.

  “Should I be nice?” she mockingly said, putting a hoof on her chin, pausing, “Of course not.”

  I snuck over to Tyler, carefully taking his phone from his pocket , pausing the music and unplugging the headphone jack. I held it out to Ditzy, nodding.

  Ditzy takes the jack in her hoof and messes around with her computer a bit before plugging it in. “Any requests?” she asked, “or just go for ‘loud with lots of drum?’”

  I could feel the Master shake at the phrase ‘lots of drums’, reminding me of my own as well, “How about something that starts nice and quiet, then explodes with sound?” I suggested.

  “Hmm... Doable.” she said, looking at the laptop, “I think I’ve got one...” She is quiet for a bit before she grins again, “Yeah, Epicentre will do nicely...”

  I just nod again , waiting.

  Ditzy clicks a button, the music starting, and I hear it clearly. I then waited for the song to to shift.


  The song suddenly became loud, Tyler jumping slightly, almost out of his seat.

   “Gah, what the hell?” he said, looking around and saw us, laughing, Ditzy more so than myself. He stepped out of the car, looking between us, the headphones out of his ears. “Seriously, that’s how you wake me up?” he asked, groaning slightly, “What do you want, anyway?”

  “I kind of broke his laser.” Ditzy admitted, “That means he can’t drive, and I never got a licence.”

  “And? What do you want me to do?” he continued his line of question, “I can’t drive either.”

  “Which is why I’m going to have to teach you.” I added in, Tyler looking at me somberly.

  “...You can’t be serious.” he said after a short silence.

  ”Oh, I am, it’s either that, or we walk, your choice.” I stated, knowing full well he would give in. Tyler folded his arms at me, still quiet for a bit.

  “Fine...” he said, “but if we crash, you’re paying for medical bills and repairs.”

  “Understood,” I said, nodding, “now get in the driver’s seat, this might take a while.”



**** **** **** ****



  A few hours have passed, it’s nearing midnight, but thanks to a few Monster energy drinks, Tyler is wide awake.

  “Alright, I think I got this.” Tyler said, pulling the car back onto the side of the road and I look in the back seat to see Ditzy sleeping before I turned back to Tyler

  ”Alright,” I said, fishing into my collar, “you’ll also need this.” I said, finally getting out the psychic paper and showing it him.

  Tyler looked at it for a bit, “Okay... why?” he asked, taking it.

  ”The most real fake ID ever.” I said, a bit of smugness in my voice.

  “Really?” he asked, looking from it to me, “it can do that? How?”

  I took it back to show him, “Just get a clear image in your head, you have to want it to be real.” I said, an image of my current self and him in a group hug with our father.

  “Wow...” he he said, taking the paper back into his hand, looking at the image, “That easy, huh?”

  At that moment, I heard shifting in the back, “Where are we?” Ditzy asked tiredly.

  ”Side of the road, few dozen miles from where we started.” I answered, looking at her.

  “Shane just gave me the psychic paper for a fake ID.” Tyler bragged, waving said paper around a bit.

  “Could I see that?” Ditzy asked, sitting up. Tyler then started to hand it back to her, before I put a foreleg on his arm.

  “Please do be careful with this,” I said, still looking at Ditzy, “we kinda need it at this point.”

  “Sorry about the screwdriver...” she said, shrinking slightly.

  “It’s fine,” I told her, “I just don’t want our last resort to fail, alright?”

  “Yeah, probably a good idea.” she replied.

  Tyler then handed Ditzy the paper, “Like he told me,” he said, “ just want it to appear.”

  Ditzy took hold of it carefully, looking at it, “Huh, plans for a national high speed rail system.” she said before she paused, “No, a news article reporting on the fact that Derpy’s fine...”

  ”Interesting...” I said, observing the dual reaction.

  “Two minds, you know.” she quipped.

  “Yes, it seems the paper is picking up both brainwave patterns and is simultaneously showing each.” I said, thinking of the possible applications, ”Hmm...”

  ”Shane, stop,” Tyler said, looking at me, “you’re going science-y.”

  “I like science.” Ditzy said defensively.

  “Yeah,” Tyler said, “but yours isn’t being influenced by an insane timelord horse.”

  “Insanity is a major part of the Time Lord experience.” she continued.

  “Right...” Tyler said, rolling his eyes. “That’s why the Doctor is hell bent on destroying the universe, right?”

  “Insanity can be harmless!” Ditzy suddenly shouted, “Tell me about how Eleven is perfectly and completely sane!”

  I waved a hoof between them, hoping to end the conversation, “Right, if we could get off the topic of insanity,” I interjected, “I think we have somewhere to be?”

  “Right...” Tyler said,getting back in the seat proper, starting to drive down the road.

  “Oh yeah, the meeting.” Ditzy said, starting up her laptop, “How is Santorini not dead?” she asked.

”Oh, that?” I said, looking back at her, “I gave it a quick charge when I added the wi-fi, just a little fix up.”

“That, right there, is quite handy.” she replied, “A laptop with decent internet everywhere and a full battery.”

“Well, couldn’t let that kind of tech go to waste,” I said, “laser screwdriver and all.”

”Whoa, what?” Tyler suddenly interrupted, stopping the car to look at the two of us, “You gave her an ultimate connection and didn’t tell me?”

  “Sorry about that-” Ditzy apologized before pausing, “I never did get your name.”

  “It’s Tyler, Tyler Denton,” he stated, before looking at me, ”and why didn’t you hook me up with a phone that could do that?” he asked, offended, “What, am I not pony enough for you?” He instantly facepalmed after saying that, “Great, I just used pony as an adjective...”

  “I’ve used pony as a verb before.” Ditzy said, “God, I have no life...”

  ”At this point, it really doesn’t matter.” I said, looking at Tyler, “Now, onward, dear driver, to Kansas.”
 


> Diner Stop
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

  We continued driving down the road for a few hours more, already into light of the next day, though now everyone was awake, Ditzy typing away at her laptop, Tyler having stayed up to drive, and myself currently having a conversation with the Master about the likelihood of actually finding the TARDIS anytime soon.

  ‘I’m not sure we’ll even find the thing in a hundred years, let alone soon.’ “Believe what you will, but as soon as this is over, I’m finding it an-” 

  “I’ve found a decent route to Kansas!” Ditzy suddenly called out.

  I put my talk on hold and turned to look at her, “Oh, how long will it take?” I asked.

  “It’s a long one, but so are all the others.” she replied, then went quiet, most likely thinking it over in her head.

  “Well, it’s almost 7,” Tyler said, glancing at the radio’s clock, “while we figure which route to take, how about breakfast?”

  I could hear Ditzy shifting a bit in the back seat, “Breakfast would be great...” she replied slowly.

  “Something wrong?” I asked, turning around in my seat to look at her, “You seem hesitant.”

  She let out a yawn before answering, “More tired than anything. Wait a second, I’m becoming like my mom on all matters sleeping...”

  “Right, forgot about that,” I said, mentally hitting myself, “sleeping tends to slip my mind a bit, what about you, Tyler,” I asked, changing the subject slightly, “you doing okay, being up as you were?”

  “I could,” he started, yawning mid sentence, “use some rest, yeah.”

  “Right...” I nodded, looking around the road for a place before spotting a Waffle House, “Pull up here, we’ll stop and get some rest and food.”


**** **** **** ****


  “Ah, Waffle House,” Ditzy began, looking around as we got out of the truck, “For all the horror stories of the inner-city ones, I’ve never had a problem...”

  “Can’t say I’ve really even been to one,” I said, hopping out of the passenger seat. “but hey, first time for everything.” Tyler didn’t seem to care all that much, as he just head straight for the building.

  Ditzy and I followed shortly after, Ditzy quickly deciding on a booth seat which Tyler and I slid into on the other side.
  
“Well, this is a quaint little place, isn’t it?” I asked, looking around the cozy looking space.

  “Yeah, it is.” Tyler half heartedly agreed with a yawn.

  “Remarkable…” Ditzy added, another yawn following, “ All of them are exactly the same inside with very slight differences...”

  I look back and forth between Tyler and Ditzy a moment,  “Well, now I feel left out, you’re both tired and I’m wide awake.” I said, just before a waitress came up to our table.

  “Hello!” she said in a friendly manner, looking like seeing ponies was normal even before the event, “What can I get for y’all this mornin’?”

“I suppose I’ll just start with a glass of water, I’ll decide in a minute.” I answered, looking over one of the menus she’d placed down.

  “Okay, and you?” she asks, looking to Tyler.

  “I’ll have scrambled eggs with bacon, please.” he said, eyes half closed by now,

  The woman scribbled down the order before looking back up“Anything to drink?”

  “Um... Sprite’ll do, I guess.” he said.

  She went back to her book before smiling at Ditzy, “And you?”

  Ditzy takes a breath and rapidly answered, “I would like cheese and eggs with raisin toast and hashbrowns with a chocolate milk to drink.”

  “You look like you’ve had some practice here...” she smirks before looking back to me, “Have you decided yet?”

  “Yes,” I replied, putting down the menu, “I’ll take a stack of blueberry pancakes and a side of scrambled eggs with sausage links, ma’am.”

  “Gotcha.” she says, returning to her pad and back, “Your food’ll be ready shortly.”

  I nodded my head, letting her know I understood.

  The waitress left to call the order then returned to talk to us. “So lemme guess: New York.”

  ”I’d say that’s rather obvious,” I commented, “but yes, we are, thank you.”

  “Well, not at the moment,” Ditzy corrected, “We’re going to meet my sister.”

  The waitress gave Ditzy a look, “Human sister or pony sister?”

  “Pony.” Ditzy replied.

  The woman nodded, but said nothing, though she looked to be in thought.

  “I’m sorry, is something the matter?” I asked, raising an eyebrow to the staring waitress.

  “It’s just that I recognize her...” she said, before she suddenly snapped out of her train of thought, “Your sister is Derpy.”

  “Yep.” Ditzy replied simply, “May I ask about how you know of my sister?”

  “I saw the youtube video. A friend showed me...” the waitress said, sounding like she was about to space out again.

  “The phenomenon is fairly obvious at this point,” I said, part of me getting slightly annoyed at the time it took for our food to finish(I blame time travel), “I’m not all too surprised.”

  Ditzy started to lean back and lets herself rest at this point.

  “Even though I didn’t watch the show,” the waitress continued, “I figured I should read up on the ‘People becoming Ponies’ thing.”

  “Well, I’m just glad you aren’t one of the people who’d rather see us dead.” I commented with a smirk.

  “Yeah, I just don’t see a reason why.” she finished, the bell ringing for food ready to be taken to their tables.

  “She seems nice.” I said after she left.

**** **** **** ****

  A few minutes passed and we finally got our food to up.

  Ditzy nodded her thanks before starting to dig in while Tyler just grumbled in his stupor before starting.

  “Thank you,-” I begin, looking at her name tag, which read our ‘Cheryl’, “Cheryl.” After which I starting eating my own food.

  “No problem.” Cheryl said before going to check on the other customers.

**** **** **** ****

  A few minutes after all the plates had been cleared of food Tyler had already dozed off, head rested back against the booth’s back.

  “That was certainly a nice way to start the morning, don’t you think?” I asked, wiping my mouth with a napkin.

  Ditzy nodded, though groggily, “I need sleep though...” she added.

  Cheryl came by moments later, placing the check on the table, “Nice to have met y’all!” she calls, going to serve more customers.

  Ditzy waved to her as she left before curling up on the seat while I grabbed the check. It read $18.96 total, “Not bad for what it’s worth,” I said, getting my wallet ready by taking out a 20 and a 5. “Anyone want anything to go, just in case?”

  “‘M fine…” Ditzy replies, muffled, Tyler just slurring in his sleep.

  “Guess it’s just me then.” I said, though mostly to myself.

  “Wamme to go pay?” Ditzy offers, though not having moved much.

  ”I’ll do it,” I told her, “you just rest a bit, I’ll ask if we can stay a bit for a break.” I finished by getting up want walking up to the counter.

  “Ready to pay?” Cheryl asks, seeing me come up.

  “Yes, and if you wouldn’t mind, would you mind if I get something to go, in case we feel a bit peckish?” I asked, “Oh, and while on that matter, could we possibly stay a bit, we’ve been driving for quite a ways.”

  She looked hesitant as she thought to herself, “I think we’ve got a bit of space in the back… Just don’t be too loud,” she told me.

  “Not a problem,” I replied, “the other two will mostly be sleeping, and I’ll just be thinking to myself.” I put the cash on the desk, “And thank you, Cheryl” I finished, turning back to go to my booth.

  “It’s no problem.” she called out.

  I returned to the table moments later, “Alright,” I began, “she said we can stay for a bit, but we’ll have to stay in back for it, what do you say?”

  “Sure…” Ditzy said, getting up.

  “Yeah…” Tyler answered,getting up, almost drunk looking in his groggy state, making his way to the back. The Ditzy and I following behind.


**** **** **** ****

  ‘I’m surprised, honestly,’ the Master commented as yet another mental chess game concluded, ‘48 to 3, not bad for a human boy.’ At this point, I couldn’t even tell if he was either being as ass, or genuinely surprised I’d beat him at all. ‘Alright, enough of this, we’ve got places to be,’ I mentally retorted before lightly shaking Tyler and Ditzy, “Come on, up and at ‘em you two, we’ve been here for three hours, and thinking to myselves is a bit boring at this point.”

  “Only three hours…?” Ditzy asked, the obvious signs of wake up annoyance on her face, “better than none, I guess…”

   “Sorry,” I apologized, looking at Ditzy while Tyler refused to wake, “but we still have a spirit of chaos to stop, and Derpy and Octavia are in a big city, last I heard, and you know how those can be.”

  “And sleep-dep will help that how?” Ditzy retorted.

  “Right, right, sorry, still not used to the whole ‘always awake thing’,” I continued apologizing, “if you need more sleep, fine by me, just lets do it when we aren’t in the back room of a Waffle House.”

  Ditzy nodded “Fair ‘nough.”

  “I mean, really, only a madman would try to continue on without proper energy.” I finished.

  “What is a man?” Tyler grumbles in his sleep, “A miserable little... pile of... secrets…” 

  I mentally facepalmed heading him say that while Ditzy gave me a look, “Nice Bloodline you’ve got there;” she teased, “does it repeat a segment or theme?”

  I huffed, rolling my eyes, “He’s just a being a dork in his sleep, he got Castlevania on his PSP and he kept replaying it.”

  “There’s worse.” Ditzy commented, getting up, Tyler slowing regaining consciousness and joining us.
 
  I let out a chuckle, “Yeah, you could be a fan of Other M.”

  “No, I can’t,” she says flatly, “My first Metroid was Fusion; that game is a betrayal.”

  “Exactly, Other M eliminated several games from the storyline,” I began to to ramble as we made our way out, “Team Ninja took the bare minimum they knew of a series and decided to make a game off that.” 

  “Never played it,” Ditzy admit, “Some of it looks fun to play, but most of it… doesn’t. Didn’t it come between Super and Fusion?”

  “Probably,”I answer, “I just know that Prime never happened and it happened right after Super.”

  “Prime makes no sense in the storyline, anywhere,” she pointed out as we exited the building.

  I shrugged, “Makes more sense to have a trilogy with some story and background than one game that eliminates others.”

  “I’ll give you that one,” she said, floating a meter above the ground to stretch her wings. “Granted, I have yet to play Prime…”

  ”If you ever get hands again, you should try it,” I recommended, “it’s certainly got a high entertainment value.”

  “Compared to Super, how is it?” she asked, floating towards the car across the lot.

  “Being what it is, I’d give Prime 1 as good a score for exploration,” I told her, “though not diversity, and Prime 3 just a bit under Super in story, being that there were a few holes in the plot.”

  “Yeah, it’s something to do if I ever get hands…” she said, looking a bit glum.

  “Or if I ever get this thing working properly again,” I continued, taking out the laser screwdriver from my collar, “I could make it so this would work just as well.” Bringing that up seemed to make her look even worse. “Like I said, it was an honest mistake, I’m sure that by the time I find the TARDIS, this thing will be as good as new,” I finished, our group reaching the truck.

  “Back to napping?” Ditzy asked before getting into the back seat once again.

  “If you want,” I told her, “Tyler’ll have to stay awake a bit more, till we find a place to actually sleep.”

  Tyler groaned, the first noise he made since fully waking up, “Just get in already, we have somewhere to be.”


**** **** **** ****