> Enabling > by Midnight Legend Press > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Tape 1 Side A: Falling Down... > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- A Midnight Legends Press Production By: Your Antagonist(VegaKS03) & Starwind Dood Enabling Chapter 1: Falling Down... Side A Begin         I have a secret, one that I've kept lock up inside my heart. I'm in love. The pony that stole my heart? Her name is Twilight Sparkle. It came as a surprise to me too, my crush. I'm the party pony of ponyville, and she's the serious student of Celestia. We're so different, but maybe that's what I need: a pony to balance me. I don't know how she feels about me, so please, wish me luck as I pour my heart and soul into my confession of love. Go get her, Pinkie Pie!         I could see the library in the distance. No, not just any library, her library. It took every fiber of my being to resist the urge to run away and beat myself up over my lack of confidence as I drowned my misery with a torrent of pies and candy. No, not today, not again. I steeled my resolve, forcing myself a little closer. I’m going to get farther than last time! I’m actually going to touch her door this time... no, I’m going to knock on it and I’m going to talk to her! That confidence, as usual, was going to find that it had a very short life span.  My breath shortens, and I find myself swallowing hard as I raised a nervous hoof to the door. I can do this, I can do this,  I can... I... I... can’t... With a sigh, I lowered my hoof and head, ashamed that I couldn’t even touch her door this time. I bet even Fluttershy could make it further than I did, I’m just— “Hey, Pinkie Pie! How’re you doing?” The sudden outburst from behind made me jump. In my startled state, I whirled around quickly, my heart pounding in my ears, to face— nopony...  I looked left and right, and even up, but there was nopony there. Maybe I’m hearing things. “Down here, Pinkie. What’re you doin’ outside our door? Did you come to see Twilight?” It was Spike, probably out on an errand for Twilight.   In my addled state, all I could think to do was lie and hope that he’d buy it. “Nope! Just passing by! I was looking for some... uhh... vanilla truffles! Yeah, that’s it, I was looking for vanilla truffles... for Gummy!” I sold that lie with the toothiest grin I could muster, and Spike looked as though he was about to buy it like Ditzy Doo during the morning muffin sales at Sugarcube corner. “You’re looking for truffles... in a library?” Sugarsnaps! He catches on quick. “Of course not, Spike, you can be such a silly-willy you know that?” “Uhh, right. Silly... willy... anyway, I’m sure Twilight would be more than glad to see you, she’s been working tirelessly in that musty ole’ lab for the last week. Maybe seeing somepony-else for a change would be good for her.” Uh-oh, that didn’t work like I thought it would. “Oh no, I couldn’t interrupt Twilight while she’s in the middle of her studies, I mean she’s so dedicated to her research, and books!" As I jabbered on, I began backing away slowly away from Spike as he moved closer, but I had forgotten the door was still behind me, and I tripped over the stoop, falling into the library head first, knocking over some books as I fell. “Owie... somepony should really clean up around here...” As I rubbed my achy head, I heard her voice, and my heart anxiously skipped a beat. “Spike, is that you? Did you knock over another bookshelf? That’s the third time this week, you really need to be more careful.” As Twilight trotted into the room, my eyes were drawn to her, my breathing becoming shallow as I drank in her image. And what an image it is...  uh... quick, say something! Say something! “Say, Twilight, when did you learn to walk on ceilings? That must’ve been a really difficult spell to learn!” Smooth, Pinkie, real smooth... Twilight shook her head and sighed at me. “Pinkie, I’m not standing on the ceiling, you fell and landed on your back. What did you come around here for, anyway?” “Oh yeah, Twilight, I saw Pinkie hanging around outside, said she was looking for truffles or something.” Twilight turned to me. “Truffles? In a library?” With a sigh, I shook my head and admitted the truth. “Twilight, I wasn’t looking for truffles, I needed to tell you something, but I was too afraid to do it.” “Well, you’ve got me here right now, so what’s up?” Spike piped up, “Yeah, Pinkie, what was so important that you—” Twilight rolled her eyes as she effortlessly pushed Spike to the side and he began to protest, “Hey! I want to know too!” “Spike, this conversation is between Pinkie Pie and myself, why don’t you go in the back room and check on my mixtures for me? Please?” Spike crossed his arms and began grumbling and mumbling under his breath as he marched away towards the back room. “And don’t touch anything either, just check the readings!” Twilight called behind her before returning her attention to me.  “So, Pinkie Pie, what was it that you wanted to talk to me about? I don’t mean to rush you, but I don’t have a lot of time to chat today.” My eyes darted around the library from book to book as I averted eye contact with the mare of my dreams, standing right before me. Perhaps maybe one of the books in here held the words I was too nervous to say, but Twilight was looking impatient and ready to throw me out if I didn’t say something fast, so I did what anypony would do in my situation: I spat gibberish. “I’m sorry Twilight, I just... umm... I really...heart...” Come on, me, I can do this! It’s just a few simple words. I fixed my eyes intensely on Twilight’s, and she took note of this immediately, her scowl softening slightly, and her eyes widening in anticipation. “Twilight, I...”  come on me this is your, errr, my moment! seize it! Reach for the chocolaty heavens! Here I go! I shut my eyes tight and let loose with both barrels. “For the longest time I’ve had this really big cr—" "Whoa, Twilight," Dang it, Spike, "something weird is happening with your freaky chemistry set! It’s all bubbly and junk, you’d better take a look at th-WHOA!” Right after Spike yelled, a loud explosion rocked the library. "Spike!?" Twilight called out in concern. “Look, Pinkie, I’m really busy right now, and I think Spike might need some medical attention, but I suppose we could hang out next week.” No! I have to tell her now, while I’ve still got my nerve! Twilight began to shut the door on me, but, without thinking, I stuck my hoof in the door abrasively, once again taking her off guard. “Pinkie, what are you doing?” Well, I’ve got my hoof in the door, I may as well take advantage of it. “Like I said, I have something I really, really, really need to tell you, Twilight. Will you please listen to me?”   “My scales! I think that burned off all of my scales! Wait a minute... my scales are still here but... Twilight come quick, something’s wrong!” I watched as Twilight bit her lip nervously and looked back and forth at me then at the room Spike was in before she finally gave up. “Fine! Just close the door behind you, and don’t touch anything in the next room!” Yes! I thought to myself, shutting the door behind me with my left hindleg before following Twilight into her backroom. Twilight gasped as she frantically galloped through the room, towards a pink lump on the floor surrounded by books and broken glass. “Spike, what happened in here? I thought I told you not to touch anything!” That’s Spike? Holy moley he looks like a dragon shaped wad of bubble gum! Spike coughed weakly before speaking again. “Ughhh... the jar with red liquid... started sparking... there was an explosion... pink scales...” As I trotted towards the two, Twilight grew tense and scowled at me as she levitated Spike on her back. It was almost as if she thought this was my fault! But, just as quickly as the scowl came, it disappeared, sinking off her face as she trotted towards the door and past me. “Twilight, wait!” “There’s no time, Pinkie, I have to get Spike to a hospital, and now I’ve been set back on my research. A whole three days worth of progress, gone!” Twilight lifted a hoof to her face and began rubbing her temples, I couldn’t bear to see the pony of my dreams so stressed out. “But I...” “What, Pinkie? What do you need to tell me that is so important? Please indulge me while I move my potentially injured baby dragon to a hospital that probably can’t even help him anyway, as I fall even further back on my work schedule for Princess Luna! What do you want?!” “I... I just wanted to tell you that I really, really like you, Twilight... I didn’t mean for any of this to happen...” “Whatever, Pinkie, just go away. I think you’ve bothered me enough for today.” She just turned away from me, and wordlessly trotted out of the library, not even bothering to lock up behind her. “I just... I just... I wanted to...” Oh no, it’s that first gasp, I need to laugh, I need to smile I... I... Something wet hit my hoof, and I looked down and saw a small puddle forming from droplets of water. I saw another and another. Soon, after my eyes became too clouded to see anything else, I realized what was happening, and I didn’t like it. Sure I’ve cried a few times, but those were over trivial things like when the twins were driving me crazy or when I couldn’t find Gummy one afternoon and he was just napping in my bathtub. But these tears? They stung and burned. They were nothing like those other little temper tantrums. This was my first time dealing with heart-break, and after years of hiding my emotions behind a smile, no matter how bad things got or how serious the situation, my mask broke and the pieces all came spilling out on the floor of the library in the form of tears. I stood up through my blurred vision, hot tears streaming down my cheeks, and galloped as fast as I could out of the library, trying my hardest not bawl as I hit the crowded street; I didn’t want to run into anypony I knew right now. I just wanted to go back to my room and cry. Nopony stopped me, and the bakery was empty when I entered. Mr & Mrs. Cake must’ve taken the twins out, but I didn’t care. I just galloped up the stairs to my room, grabbed Gummy off my bed and held him close to me as I wailed. Why did she blame me for what happened, it wasn’t even my fault! “It wasn’t my fault, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Twilight! I didn’t mean anything! I just wanted to tell you how I feel and... and...” “Eet vasn’t your fault dear.” That voice... oh no... “Yeah, it was dat poiple lozah’s negligence, not youse.” No, stop please... they’re all in your head Pinkie, they’re all in your head.  “You’re not real! You’re not real!” I shouted at the top of my lungs, clasping my hooves to my ears, in a vain attempt to drown out the voices “Honestly, darling, how can you even think it was your fault? On top of that she rejected your feelings without a second thought, how rude of her.” “Shut up, you’re not real, and you don’t understand!” I cried it at the top of my lungs, I was not about to go through this twice in my life. “Don’t understand what, Pinkie? That she blamed you for something that was clearly her fault? That she yelled at you when you tried to tell her you love her? That she scoffed at your confession? That she made you cry? What don’t we understand, Pinkie?” Through tear-stained eyes, I tried to fight the voices, to tell them they're wrong. “You don’t... you...” I couldn’t do it. They were right, after all... I didn’t want to give in to them, but they were absolutely right. “Come 'ere Pinkie. Come 'ere; and geeve us back our bodies, and we shall help you get vat you desire.” “I... I...” As if it were reacting to my emotions and confusion, a strand of my hair fell in font of my face obscuring my vision. “Come on, ya got nothin’ ta lose, but ya’ve got a love interest ta gain.” As the voice spoke to me, I felt another tuft of my hair fall. My eyes drifted to the wardrobe next to my bed, that’s where I kept them, but did I really need them right now?                  “Let us out, Pinkie, we know how to make her accept your feelings.” “You...do?” My resolve was beginning to weaken, and I began trotting towards the wardrobe. More and more strands of my mane collapsed to join the others that fell straight, but I paid no notice to it as I drew nearer towards the voices. “Yes, you von’t be disappointed, we’ll make her fall for you yet.” I stood inches way from the wardrobe, heart pounding in my chest as I extended a hoof and flipped the handle down, unlocking it, and almost all at once my mane collapsed completely.  I swallowed hard as I pulled the door open gazing inside, and there they were: Madame le Flour, Rocky, Sir Lintsalot, and Mr. Turnip. “Hello Pinkie, its been a while,” said Mr. Turnip. Sir Lintsalot spoke next “Yes, you should really come to visit more, darling.” “I’m sorry, I’ve just been so—” “No need ta apolagize ta us, we just wancha ta be happy.” “Thanks, Rocky, you guys are the best friends a pony could ever ask for.” “Zat ees enough chit-chat, eet ees time to ‘elp you aquire zee pony of your dreams, ees eet not?” “But how, Madame le Flour?” “You just leave da thinkin’ ta us,” Rocky said reassuringly. “All right, I trust you guys...” I stood outside the library as the evening sun began to set, the clouds in the distance ablaze as it made way for Luna’s moon to grace the sky. “Are you sure about this, Madame le Flour? I don’t think doing this will make Twilight accept my feelings...” “Mon cheri, look at your Madame.” I looked over at Madame le Flour and she returned the gaze ten-fold.  “I vant to see you succeed! I know eet seems a little bit backwards, but trust me, I ‘ave seduced many a male in my life time. With thees, you will ‘ave her attentions in no time.” I didn’t question who exactly would be seduced by a sack of flour, instead I nodded in compliance and pushed open the door to the library, since it was still unlocked. I glanced around the main room of the library nervously scanning high and low for any sign that Twilight had come home; she had not. With a sigh, I trotted to the backroom, hesitantly pushing open the door to reveal the cataclysmic mess from earlier illuminated by the eerie green glow of some strange scientific instrument I couldn't possibly understanding. Even in the dim green lighting, I could tell that nothing had changed: the same books lay scattered across the floor and the same broken glass instruments lay on the floor in pieces. I made my way to some of the papers on the floor that were attached to a clipboard. I picked them up and held them up to the green light to see if I could make out anything on the paper. “Do eet, Pinkie.” I nodded to Madame le Flour, and tore the papers with my mouth. Hey that felt...good...  I trotted over to some of the fallen instruments that were still intact from the explosion earlier. I reared up on my hind legs and drove my hooves into the beakers, feeling them break under my weight. “Hehe...” Why am I laughing, this is going to make Twilight sad, but even still I... I think I’m enjoying this.... There were still some more glass beakers and papers on the table. Those would look better on the floor! With a sweep of my hoof I sent everything crashing to floor, and I couldn’t contain the wicked grin that began to play across my lips as the sound of broken glass serenaded my ears like one of Fluttershy’s song bird chorus rehearsals.  “Hehehe, Hahaha!!” This was simply... fun! I hadn’t had this much fun since the my last birthday party! I ran over to one of the still upright bookcases, and bucked it down stomping on it until I broke it into pieces. “MUHAHAHA! I’ll make you love me yet, Twilight!” I hope she thinks of me when she sees all of this. That night, I destroyed everything in Twilight’s lab.  Chapter 1 End Flip to side B > Tape 1 Side B...And Taking You With Me... > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- A Midnight Legends Press Production By: Your Antagonist(VegaKS03) & Starwind Dood Enabling Chapter 2: ...And Taking You With Me... Side B Begin         I sighed, turning between Spike and Zecora. "Thank you so much, Zecora, I have no idea what I would have done if you weren't here." I turned to the little bundle of... well whatever Spike was a bundle of and hoped to Celestia he was okay under all that... whatever.         "It is of little trouble, my friend Twilight. I can have your dragon back you by tomorrow night." She's always surprising me with that consistent rhyming habit of hers.         I returned home, hoping to get off my hooves and relax for a moment. At least until I had to resume my research for Princess Luna. Admittedly, it's pretty hard to relax knowing that Spike is going through Celestia knows what, but I wasn't going to get anywhere stressing myself out. Perhaps I could relax after a bite to eat, an oat smoothie sounds wonderful. My mind wandered back to what Pinkie Pie was trying to tell me earlier. In my panic, I didn't quite hear what she said. I should apologize. Maybe even share a smoothie. I could feel the blood rush to my face as I thought a little further about the implications of that idea. Although, I bet she wouldn't mind...         I wandered into my lab, looking for my bit-purse. "Wah! Oof!" I slipped? On what? Shaking my head, I recovered only to find that my lab was a wreck. "What the— Everything's been destroyed! What happened here?!" Nopony answered me, but I wasn't expecting anypony to. Did a thief break in? This is supposed to be a top-secret project. Foreign spies? I've been hanging around Rainbow Dash too long.         I began rummaging through the mess of broken glass and torn-out wires, and stumbled across my first, and possibly only, clue: a pink strand of curly hair. Pinkie!? What? Why did she go and break all of my instruments?! Nothing about her had ever made sense, but this was downright mean. "Pinkie," I yelled, "if you're still here, you have some serious explaining to do!" Of course, nopony answered. "Fine, just fine. I still have some backup tools in the closet. I'll just use those."         Hauling out the extra monitors and apparatuses was an exhausting process. They were old, outdated even, but they were still better than nothing. Why would you do this, Pinkie? I tried not to dwell on the issue; I still have my project to deal with, and I'm very behind now. I plugged in the instruments, ready to get back to my research, only to turn around get a face full of some white sticky substance. Frosting? I wiped most of the stuff off my face, only find that my back-up equipment had exploded with frosting. "Pinkie!" Still no answer. Why is she doing this?         "Great, now I'm a mess and out of tools. I could send a letter to Princess Luna, but Spike is out of commission." My eyes narrowed on the now frosting-covered machine, my forehead wrinkling as my shoulders clenched together. "Stupid... dumb... thingy!" Grind, grind, grind. I found myself grinding my teeth, a very bad habit of mine that only came out when I was really stressed. I decided to let my anger out on the closest thing available, the broken machine, and gave it the strongest buck I could muster. As my hoof made contact with the apparatus, I quickly learned that my strongest is still pretty weak, as a jolt of pain shot through my hoof  "Ow, ow, ow, ow!" I yelped, hopping  backwards, holding onto one of my back hooves as I tried to maintain balance with the other, when something caught me around my ankle and hoisted me into the air, the world flipping upside-down on me. I looked up and found myself hanging from the ceiling by some rope. "What the hay is going on!" I yelled out as loud as I could,  cursing at the pony doing this. "Pinkie! Come out here and untie me this instant!" I folded my forelegs, glaring at some wall that I expected her to pop out from any moment now, probably with some annoyingly goofy smile and an alliterative quip. Any moment now. One minute. Two minutes. Three minutes. Four Minutes. Five minutes passed, and Pinkie Pie still didn't show. I must have looked silly now, hanging from the ceiling and staring angrily angry at a wall. I sighed, and focused my magic on a piece of glass just underneath my head. After establishing a connection with it, I levitated it towards the rope, utilizing a sawing motion to get through the slender cord, and completely forgotten gravity in the interest of freedom. The fall was swift, and fortunately my back took the o*brunt of the impact, but I still hit my head against some of the junk sprawled along the floor.  "Owwww..." Although my head was aching worse than my hooves now. I didn't immediately stand up. I just laid there, trying to take in everything, surrounded by this pink-born mess of a lab. "Piiiinkiiiieeee..." Where is she? Where is she?! I pulled myself back up, my back hooves still aching. My eyes darted from wall to wall, searching for any sudden movements and anything out of place. A shadow played across my vision, "Gotcha!" I yelled out as I projected my magic at something. From the remains of a decrepit newspaper scrap, I dragged out a single white mouse. It stared at me with its condescending beady black eyes, hovering no more than a foot from my face. "Where is she!?" "Who?" the mouse spat back at me, smugly. "Pinkie Pie! Where is Pinkie Pie?!" I began to focus my magic around it's little throat, feeling every pull of muscle and pitiful attempt to resist the little mouse could muster. It was positively shrieking at me with its high-pitched shrill, it's nasty teeth visible under its bloating smile. "Who?" It's laughing at me! My magic closes in a little more around it's fragile and weak neck. It would be too easy to crush it now, less then a second, and faster than the blink of an eye. Or would that be to easy? It squirmed and writhed in pain as I tightened my magical grip more and more, but that smile never faded. It was still laughing at me, daring me further and further. IT WANTS ME TO! "One last time. Where is Pinkie Pie?" "Who?" CRACK I felt it, the cold snap of it's neck. Its body became limp, my stomach turning as I felt its lifeless body sway within my aura of magic, my pupils shrinking to dots as I stared into its milky white eyes. I... I killed it. I dropped it, letting it fall to the floor, and I stared at it. My thoughts turned immediately to trying to revive it, but every unicorn was taught t never attempt such an act when they first enroll at Celestia's school. I don't think I've ever used my magic to kill something, not even a fly. I lay down, my mouth running dry, as I tried to turn away from the feeble body. I feel... wrong. "Who?" "Agh!" I zapped the talking corpse with a bolt of magic, my body breaking out into a cold sweat. It did talk... right? Owlicious flew out from behind me and snapped up the dead mouse. He gobbled it up, whole. "Owlicious, do you think you can do that somewhere else?" I begged, my voice cracking under the pressure. "Who?" "Of... of course..." I spent the next hour trying to clean my destroyed lab, something that wouldn't have been too difficult if it wasn't for my constant fear of triggering another trap. Every time I stepped on something I would squeal and leap back, stepping on something else in the process. This process would repeat itself often. Why is she doing this? My mind was beginning to feel numb from the constant worrying. I kept expecting something to happen, but nothing would and I would be left shaking in a corner, my gaze darting from one end of the room to another. Can't I just let myself relax? Knock knock knock "Agh!" I nearly jumped through the roof at the sudden knocking. Who could that be? Pinkie? I abandon the mess, dragging myself to the front door. Every step makes me feel worse, pain bouncing from one point of my body to another, but I still made it to the front door and answered it. "Fluttershy? What are you doing here?" "Oh good, you’re home. Well, you see, one of the mice in my care, Whisky, is missing, and, according to his little mouse friends, he was last seen scurrying here." My heart dropped into the pit of my stomach and my blood turned into ice. My mind ran from one point to another, almost reliving that cold moment when I... don't really want to think about it. "I-I'm sorry, Fluttershy, but I haven't seen your mouse friend." Now I'm lying to my friend? I can barely stand to look at her, or else my guilt might show. "Are you sure, Twilight?" she asked me with those big glossy eyes that I found difficult to lie to. Difficult, but not impossible. "S-sorry, but I haven't seen any mice." Another lie. "Are you... are you okay, Twilight?" "I'm fine!" And another lie. The thought of Fluttershy finding out that I killed her mouse made me want to run as far away as possible, even to the moon if I could. She just staring at me with her big doe eyes that were so innocent that I felt adjudicated. "I'm sorry, but I really need to get back to something." "Oh, I'm sorry then." I felt an odd sense of solace pass over me as Fluttershy turned away, a relief that was briefly batted away when she turned back to me. "By the way: Twilight, your mane is... a mess... I'm sorry." She flew off, as fast as her wings would let her. I closed the door and rested my back against it. I slid down to the floor, feeling tears begin to well up in my eyes. "I'm sorry, Fluttershy," I moan into the air as my emotions began to pour out the library floor. I cried silently to myself, curled up in a ball as I recalled every excruciating second of my paranoia fueled interrogation of that mouse, almost vomiting when I recalled the way it felt when its little neck snapped. What am I going to tell her later? That I lied to her is bad enough. A small pool began to form under my face. Trembling, I rose to my hooves and wiped away the last few tears clinging to my face and looked up at the fringes of my mane. Like Fluttershy said, the ends were beginning to split. Shoot, I sighed as I hauled myself up to the bathroom. I dragged myself in front of the mirror. The sight that awaited me was worse than I could have imagined; my mane was untidy, pointing off in different directions, and even a little greasy, and the bits of frosting were beginning to harden, making these white clumps all over my face and body. "I really need a bath." I turned to my tub and opened the hot water. With the tub completely full, I lowered my battered and aching body into it, letting the hot water do it's work. "This feels... odd." I looked down at the tub of water, or what I thought was water. Against my better judgement, I tasted it. "Soda? Why is there— PINKIE!" I only knew one pony capable of such ludicrous feats. I forgot my pain in a moment of anger, yelling out again. "Pinkie! I've had it up to here with all this!" I hastily jumped out of the tub, slipping and landing on my head... again. Like before, I decided to lay there, a decision I ended up regretting when I finally did pull myself up. I detested the sticky sensation all around me, how it made my fur cling to my skin, how it made movement feel sluggish, how it left a few hairs on the floor. A quick look at the mirror revealed that I looked even worse than before. "That's it. You want to play, Pinkie?! We're playing!" Ha ha ha! My heart froze for a moment. At first, I turned my head, slowly, trying to discern the direction the laugh came from. I found no sign of Pinkie Pie. It looked like I was alone in this house. I sigh, lowering my head into the empty sink, clenching my teeth. I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to calm my mind, and failing. "I heard that!" I finally shouted. "I know you're here, Pinkie!" Grind, grind, grind.         Outside, the sun was setting, and the weather pegasi were moving storm clouds into position for a monstrous thunderstorm, a flash or two entering through the windows with a loud CRACK! The perfect setting for Pinkie hunting! I giggled to myself as my head buzzed with epiphanies for various tricks and traps I could lay to capture her. I scoured through the library, keeping my head lowered towards the ground, whispering, "Come out, come out, wherever you are, Pinkie Pie."         Ha ha ha!         "She's in the walls!" I slammed myself into the closest wall, expecting it to give way and that I would find myself in some secret alcove carved out and inhabited by Pinkie. Instead, It doesn't, and all I managed to accomplish was hurting myself even more. "Just a minor setback," I groan.         I slinked back into my basement laboratory, thinking that I could start there. The lab I had cleaned just a few hours ago is a mess again. The. Same. Exact. Mess. "Do you think you're clever, Pinkie?!" No response. I extended an aura of magic to the closest bauble, expecting to pick it right up and begin my organized sweep again, but it remained adamant and unmoving. After kicking it, I discovered that it was glued into place. Everything is glued into place! My eyes narrowed as I scanned from one corner to another, my eye began twitching as I examined every inch of it. "Whose hooves did you use for this one, Pinkie Pie!"         Ha ha ha!         Again, she's laughing at me. I left the mess behind as I returned to the main library. All that's probably waiting for me there is more traps. Well I wont fall for it!         CRACK!         "Pinkie!" I turned around, catching her shadow just escaping the corner of my eye. "Pinkie Pie, I found you!" I sing, skipping into the library's back room. "Pinkie!" I yelled into the empty room. Grind, grind, grind. NO! SHE'S IN HERE! I jumped into the room, lighting up every corner with my horn.         SLAM!         "Pinkie!" I turned around, ready to jump at the next thing that moved. The door had slammed shut. "Drats, just missed her." I hung my head low again, taking in a few deep breaths to calm myself down  little. Just keep going, Twilight. You'll catch her. I trotted up to the door, only to find a picture of myself, eating Pinkie Pie's face in the crudest crayon art I had ever seen in my life. "I've seen better art from a two-year old, Pinkie!" I ripped down the crude drawing and tore it to shreds.         I tried to open the door, but It was locked. More games, with another trap waiting for me on the other side if I tried to force myself through. "You must have thought that was pretty clever, but I'm not falling for it, Pinkie!" I winked through the door, magically appearing on the other side and back in the main room of the library. "Bet you didn't take that into account, huh, Pinkie!" I looked back over the top of the locked door, and just as I thought, a bucket was tied above the door. "Oh Pinkie, don't think you can outsmart me." I smirked as I gave the bucket a quick tug with my magic. The next moment, I was covered in a brown and warm substance, completely covering my fur and face. I had fallen for yet another trap. I stuck my tongue out and tasted the brown substance. "Chocolate syrup," I groan, taking a look at what was inside the bucket in the first place. "Strawberries and a note?"         My favourite treat.         I throw the bucket and strange message behind me. "Chocolate is going to rot out your teeth, Pinkie!" Grind, grind, grind. I must look like a mess: sweaty and sticky fur, messy and greasy mane, and now I have these white and brown clumps hardening over my body. What I would do for a decent bath right now.         Even though I knew that my bathroom had probably been bugged with all sorts of traps, I settled on dragging myself back up again, hoping that Pinkie hadn't messed with all of my soaps. Along the way, I noticed that Pinkie had taken the opportunity to redecorate my staircase, painting the whole thing pink and leaving a message on the wall.         Deeper, Twilight. Go deeper inside me.         She's not even trying! My eyes lingered on the writing that desecrated my wall, my anger growing in the pit of my stomach. Every single thing that has happened to me, she thought out in advance, running around my mind with a lasso around my neck, dragging me wherever she wanted. I screamed, as loud as I could, directing all my rage at the wall. I banged my forehooves against the message, not giving the slightest care to my accumulating pile of aches. "No! I won't go!" I yelled as another tear forms in my eyes. "I won't go and you can't make me!" I turned around, wanting to get further away.         Why not?         My breathing grew rapid as I read the message over and over again. Why not? "I don't want to!" I cried, feeling cornered. "Why are you doing this, Pinkie... PINKIE!" Which way am I supposed to go? Which way does she want me to go? I sat myself on the stair, turning away from the messages. Grind, grind, grind. I picked myself up, and started heading for the bathroom again. She wants me to go there, so I'll go there. I'll meet your trap head-on!         I bucked open the door of my bathroom, breaking the lock in the process; I wasn't going to let her lock me in again. I used my unicorn-horn light to illuminate the room, and there she was, the illusive Pinkie Pie herself, laying in my tub. "PINKIE PIE!"         Ha ha ha!         It took a great amount of willpower to resist diving in head-first into the bathtub. This is definitely another trap. I extended my aura of magic to 'Pinkie Pie' and found I could lift 'her' with ease. It's just a cardboard cutout, on the back of which was another crudely drawn picture: myself taking a bath with Pinkie Pie. "I would love to take a bath with you, IF I HAD ANY WATER!" I ripped the drawing to bits and tore the cutout in half, taking out all my anger on the imitation. All that was left of it after a few minutes was it's head, staring at me with half-closed eyes and a peculiar smile. "You look funny," I spat at it before flinging it away. I looked up and found a net. Looks like I didn't fall for this one. I cautiously backed out of the bathroom, afraid that I might set off some back-up trap. I left the bathroom. She's close. I know she is!         Just a little longer...         I returned to my room, the most familiar room in the world to me, the one place where I might be able to out-anticipate Pinkie Pie. I gingerly nudged the door open, body aching from all the punishments it'd been put through, but Pinkie Pie was already ahead of me: my entire room had been redecorated. The walls were painted pink and lavender, each color distinct, but meeting in the middle of the room and mixing. More crude pictures were taped onto the walls, with a bust of myself sitting in the center of the room made out of a combination of bits of my mane, hoof clippings, bubble gum, a carrot for my horn, and my trimmed fetlock hair. Where did she even get those? I looked up, finding a message, spelled out with a collage of pictures made from my own scrapbooks. Pictures of myself through every stage of life, mixed together with pictures of Pinkie Pie, from what I could only assume was her own scrapbooks. I love you, it said. I tore down the collage with my magic, bits of pictures raining all over me. Grind, grind, grind. My blood rushed to my head as I sifted through the pictures. These were so precious to me. More tears stream down my face as I begin to pile the pictures in my forelegs, cradling them, hugging them gently. My mind returns to the message Pinkie Pie left for me. I love you? "What does that even mean, Pinkie... PINKIE!"         It means everything...         Chapter 2 End Insert Tape 2 > Tape 2 Side A ...Deeper Into The Darkness... > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- A Midnight Legends Press Production By: Your Antagonist(VegaKS03) & Starwind Dood Enabling Chapter 3: ..Deeper Into The Darkness... Tape 2: Side A Twilight, Twilight give me your answer do. I'm so crazy all for the love of you. My heart aches out for your smi-le pulled out so wide by a bridle, but with these tears and longing fears, I drown in my pitiful stew. I was in her walls now, watching her from every grating, every air vent, even behind the bookshelves; there was nowhere for my precious Twilight to run from me. I’d leave my hiding spot every now and then to leave a token of my feelings for her, and set up a few traps as well. I could tell from her infatuated screams that she was really enjoying this little ‘hard-to-get’ game I was playing, but it didn’t give me a lot of chances to actually see her.  Even though I’d catch a glimpse of her every now and then, those instances were so few and far between. One such opportunity presented itself to me while I was hiding in a space behind one of her bookshelves, and without a second thought, I took it. I was able to hear her hoof-falls nearing closer to the shelf, but they began leading away at the last moment.There was a small hole in the back of the bookshelf wall, just large enough to fit a hoof through, and without another thought I pushed my foreleg through the gap, shoving a really thick book off the shelf it rested upon. As the book teetered over the edge, I could finally see my dream mare and did she ever look delicious: her horribly out-of-sorts mane and lavender-coat were covered in white frosting and dried chocolate, and those lovely bloodshot eyes looked like cherries on a Twilight Sparkle sundae. Mmm... Twilight Sundae, I wish I could savor the flavor. Hey, I made a rhyme! Hehehe! My thoughts were cut short as the book I pushed finally hit the ground with a loud “Whump!” I watched as Twilight jumped at the sound and backed herself into another bookshelf, shaking and jittery with her eyes darting around frantically. She looks so cute when she’s frightened, I just want to gobble her up! I watched Twilight as she stared at the book like it was a manticore, and I noticed that she had taken to grinding her teeth now, such an adorable habit. “PINKIE PIE, SHOW YOURSELF!” My heart stopped for moment as I listened to the cries of my beloved Twilight. She wants to see me? Madame le Flour was right! My heart fluttered as I listened for more of Twilight’s verbal longings. “Pinkie, please I just want to talk with you. Why are you doing this?” I almost became a marionette to my heartstrings as a sudden urge to jump out and squeeze her shot through my body. I wanted to reveal myself to her, to tell her why I was doing all of this, how I longed for her, how I needed her. No! Madame’s plan has gone perfectly so far. If I leave now, then everything could be wasted. I... must... resist... I had to go to her, I couldn’t bear to be apart from her for another moment. I was steadily losing all self-control, until a voice from the shadows brought me back to my senses. “Pinkie Pie, vat are you doing?” “Oh, Madame, I—"    “If you move too quckly, zen you vill ruin everyzeeng!” “I’m sorry, Madame, I don’t know what came over me.” “Eet’s all right, Pinkie, now zen, come along dear, we ‘ave more traps to lay before we can begin phase two.” “Of course, Madame.” I followed Madame le Flour through the vents behind the bookshelf, and we headed to the second level of Twilight’s house again. We outfitted the upstairs with a few more tripwire pranks, my favorite of which was a pressure trigger on her bed that would release a bunch of balloons with my face on them. In fact, we replaced her whole mattress with one really big cake. I even left a life-sized Pinkie Pie doll as a present for her. Truth be told, I have a Twilight one back home. Sure it required a bunch of trips to Sugarcube Corner, but it would be worth it to see the look on her face. All was going fine on the upstairs level, until I heard some rustling from behind me. Has my beloved gotten the jump on me? I whipped around quickly, searching for Twilight and my next escape route, but there was only more rustling to be heard. “Who’s there? Show yourself?” “Who?” “I’m the one asking the questions! Who are you?!” I squinted my eyes around, trying to find whatever was tauning me. “Who?” “Rrrrrggg... I said—” “Pinkie, shut up, or you’ll give away our position!” “Oh! I’m sorry, Madame...” “Just do as you’re told. Now look up, vat do you zee?” I hadn’t noticed it before, but Twilight’s owl had been watching me the whole time. “Who,” It called. It’s mocking me? Well, I’ll soon fix that. I grabbed a fallen perfume bottle from the floor and hurled it as hard as I could at Owlicious. Clonk! I caught him right in the beak and he fell slowly towards the ground. “I’ve got plans for you, little birdy, hahaha.” Without another word, I grabbed the now unconscious Owlicious with my mouth, and pried open Twilight's bedroom door as quietly as possible—not wanting to alert her to my position—and crept into her bathroom. The tub was still full of soda from her last attempt to take a bath, so I opened the cabinet under her sink where I kept my extra instant pudding mix. Grabbing the mixture, I dumped it into the tub and watched in awe as it began to solidify. It was amusing how quickly the pudding manifested. "You won't open your beak now," I taunted as I buried the bird deep into the pudding mix. "Quite a sweet way to meet your end, don’t you think?" "Pinkie Pie," Madame Le Flour called to me, “Quit talking to yourself and let's go. You are lingering for far too long." “An jus’ where have youse two been?" Rocky reprimanded me as Madame le Flour and I dropped into Twilight's basement. "We been here the whole time waitin on yas!” “Oh hush, Rocky; you’ve been complaining ever since we arrived here, these things take patience you know: isn’t that right, Pinkie?” “Oh, yes Sir Lintsalot, in fact I—” “Pinkie dear, your Madame was preparing to speak, eet’s rude to interrupt someflour when zey are speaking, wouldn’t you agree?” “Oh, I’m sorry, Madame.” "Eet's all right." She brushed my mane with her corners, trying to calm me down, but my heart only ached for Twilight more. How much longer? How much longer ‘til I can be with her? I shuddered a little as I felt burlap rub against my skin. "There is still much to do. Rocky, ees everyzing ready?" "Yeah, yeah, bag lady. I got the stuff." Rocky pulled out a bucket of caramel, pushing it towards me with a gratified smile. "Wasn't easy to get this, ya know." "Yeah, I bet," I laughed weakly, picking it up with my mouth, but internally I was questioning how exactly a rock was able to procure a bucket of caramel. Have I really fallen this far off the deep end? Am I even holding a bucket? "Come, Pinkie Pie. Your forbidden fruit ees vaiting for you!" Madame le Flour gestured to me as she hopped back into the air vents. I followed after her, hauling the bucket with my teeth as Mr. Turnip, Sir Lintsalot and Rocky whispered between themselves. I couldn't make out what they were saying, and it scared me. I was able to spot her through the cracks of one of the gratings again. She was walking in circles now, whispering madly to herself. I could hear her whispering my name under her breaths. How I longed to be down there with her, burying my face in her candy-coated fur, but no. I was told by the others that this was how it was supposed to be. This was the only way I knew of to ascertain my one true desire: for Twilight to want me. Maybe then I wouldn't have to fear rejection. "Vat are you doing!?" Madame le Flour yelled at me, snapping me from my stupor. "I- I was just-" "Don't delude yourself vith excuses. You vant that mare, right? Zen zis ees the way. You must make her want you. Do you understand?!" "I... I understand." I lowered my head, pulling myself away from my heart's desire and returning to the plan. This is the only way. I kept telling myself this, over and over again, trying to find a fragment of truth in those words. We placed the bucket in the kitchen. It's the one place she hasn't been to, and the Twilight I know was never good at fighting an empty stomach. She must be starving and exhausted. She trotted slowly into the kitchen, her little whines, groans and moans like sugar to my ears. How I wanted to soothe those pains. How I wanted to taste those pains. "Twi-" "Shutup!" Madame le Flour yelled at me. "You cannot 'ave your forbidden fruit yet." I nodded and turned back to Twilight, watching with hunger as she gingerly pried off each of her cabinet doors, fidgeting each time as she suspected a trap to be released on her. A little smile stretched across her face after she had nearly demolished her kitchen, levitating a nearby can of daisies close to herself. I love that smile. If only she would smile at me, one way or another. She muttered to herself some more as she reached out to her fridge, probably looking for some condiments. I pulled the string on my trap, and my precious Twilight was showered in a golden fall of caramel. The smile on her face disappeared instantly. "THIS IS GETTING OLD, PINKIE!" She said my name again! That must mean she wants me! I was so happy when she said my name like that a few tears fell from my face. How much longer? Just how much longer? I watched Twilight fuss with the sticky mess, flailing her legs around madly before the sticky caramel snapped her back together, face in the floor and plot wiggling in the air. She's just so adorable! I followed Madame le Flour back into the basement. Mr. Turnip, Sir Lintsalot and Rocky were still enveloped in their quiet whispering, becoming even quieter as I trotted up close. Madame le Flour took her place among the four, and it was back to planning. Planning how we would brush Twilight in just the right way; how we would get her to call out my name. Of course, I'm never allowed to touch her, and I wanted to touch her. I wanted to touch her so much, so I dared to open my mouth, to beg them that I could now be with her. "Uh, guys, do you think that-" "That what?!" Rocky interrupted me. "That you can have your precious Twilight now?" "Yes. She has to want me by now, right? She's been screaming my name all night." "But what if isn't enough!" Mr.Turnip advanced on me, making me feel small. "She might never return your feelings, you know, and then what? This just might be the best thing you get!" "No," I cried back, "Twilight will return them! She... she..." "She might not even like mares." Sir Lintsalot scoffed. "You havn't even told anypony you swing that way. No, you're too embarrassed. You're pathetic." I began to cry on the floor. Why am I so mean to myself? I sniff, turning to Madame le Flour, the grand matriarch of this gang of my fragmented psyche. "Please, please let me see her." "No." She slapped me. She slapped me so hard and I fell back on the ground. My mind registered that she slapped me. It registered the searing pain across my cheek and across my mind. The world was collapsing around me as I stared back at the four of them, once again gathering together in some hush-hush game. A game that my sanity was bound to as long as I gave them free reign. “Now as I vas saying before I was rudely interrupted—” “No...” “Pinkie Pie, vat did we just talk abou—” “No more of this, I’m not taking orders from you any longer. I want to be with Twilight!.” “Pinkie darling, please think about what you’re saying, you need us to win Twilight over. don’t you?” “No! I’m sick of sneaking around, I’m sick of not being able to see her, and I’m sick of taking orders from you!” “Pinkie, if ya know what’s good for youse, then you’ll—Auuugh!” I turned around, with my hindegs raised as I bucked Rocky into pieces. I trotted up to his broken body and found his head, as I stared down at his horrified expression that had forever burned itself into my memory. Without any further hesitation, I raised a hoof and brought it down as hard as I could, chipping off a fragment of the rock. I squealed in delight as I stomped on the fallen pieces of his body, indulging myself on Rocky’s agonized screams until he was reduced to nothing but a pile of mere pebbles and dirt splayed out across the floor in a dusty mess. “Guess you were just a big, dumb, dirt clod then, weren’t you?” I looked over and drank in the appalled faces of the others as they screamed helplessly—knowing that they were next—and if I might say myself, Rocky was the lucky one—having died first and all. “P-P-Pinkie Pie, darling, w-what are you doing?”  I felt my lips curl into a smile so wide that I was certain Sir Lintslot could see all my teeth as I inched closer and closer to him. “So glad you asked, Sir Lintsalot.” I grabbed a lit candle off of the table and inched the flame closer to Sir Lintsalot, allowing it to touch him momentarily before quickly moving it away. "Oh, please, Pinkie! We only had your best interests at heart!" he cried, and even begged for mercy as I held the candle a little closer each time. "Funny, I have my best interests at heart too." I repeated this process a few more times, feasting on his magnificent screams, but I eventually grew tired of the charade, thrusting the candle into him once and for all, igniting him and spurning another chorus of anguished shrieks. I casted my Gaze upon Mr. Turnip, his pathetic and sniveling screams growing ever louder as I approached with Sir Lintsalot still burning away on the candle. "Please don’t do this Pinkie, I... I’m sorry, it was all Madame le Flour’s idea, the rest of us just went along with it. Please, show some mercy." He was so pathetic. I guess he always was the weakest of the four, never an original thought in his turnip-shaped head. I could feel his heart-beat growing rapid as I hoisted his head into the air, swinging him back and forth like he was nothing. "I won't let you get in the way of me and Twilight anymore." I inched him closer and closer to my face. "Please, Pinkie!" I bit down on Mr. Turnip with a very audible "CHOMP!" I have to admit, I never knew turnips could be so good. Of course, Mr. Turnip just screamed in pain as I gratified myself with another mouthful of his flesh. "Mmmmh... juicy." "Bitch!" he yelled back at me. "You're nothing! Nothing! Just a crazy bitch that's going to lose her head for what? Some loser librarian!" "Don't you dare insult her," I snapped back darkly, staring Mr. Turnip right in the eye, or at least where I think his eyes were. "You don't know her!" I yelled back, spitting bits of his half-chewed flesh back at him. Mr. Turnip laughed back at me, even with half of his face bitten off he managed to mock me, his life in my hooves. I hated it. "But I know everything about her, Pinkie Pie! I know everything about her and I know everything about you." Tough talk for a bucket of turnips. "Shut up." I slowly drove my teeth into Mr. Turnip again, enjoying every second of his pitiful screaming. His wails alternated between hysteric laughter and screams of pain as I dropped him back in his rusty little bucket. I turned back to Sir Lintsalot, still burning on the candle, picked him up, and dropped him in Mr Turnip’s bucket it only took a moment for him to catch fire. I was in control again, and it felt absolutely euphoric. I turned to face Madame le Flour now, even in the face of her impending doom, she was as stout faced as ever. “Any last words, Madame?” “Hehehe.” I felt the smug grin I was wearing when I dealt with the other three slide right off my face into a frown. She’s... laughing... “What’s so funny, Madame, aren’t you afraid?” “Oh, Pinkie, hehehe, what is zere to fear? I’m not even real! You’ve allowed yourself to be pushed around by ze figments of your own imagination! By your own fears! Don’t you zee? I’m laughing at you! Ahahahaha! AHAHAHAHA!” I clenched my teeth so hard that I felt a piece of a tooth chip off. I hate being laughed at. “Stop laughing at me!” I cried out as I struck the sack of flour to the ground. “KYAHAHAHA!” “I said stop it!” I drove a hoof straight through Madame’s body hoping that would stop the laughter. “GYAHAHAHAHA! YOU’LL HAVE TO DO BETTER ZAN ZAT, MON CHERI!” “Shut up shut up shut up SHUT UP!” I reared up on both my hind legs and rained my hooves straight through her, releasing a cloud of flour into the air, and I didn’t stop pounding on her until the entire floor within four feet of me was covered in its and pieces of flour and burlap. “Not laughing anymore are you? Who’s laughing now, huh?” “KYHAHAHAHAHAHA!” The laughter was all around me now, emanating from every direction “W-what? How is that possible, I just killed you!” “You haven’t killed me! You’ve merely spread me further! I can’t die Pinkie, I’m in your head!“ “We’ll see about that Madame...” I turned my attention to Mr. Turnip, who had caught ablaze quite nicely at this point, and I decided on a way to end Madame le Flour once and for all. I trotted over to the bucked and seized the handle with my fore-hooves before turning back to face the spectral form of Madame le Flour for what I suspected would be the last time. “Madame, don’t bother coming into work tomorrow, or ever again for that matter...” “Vat are you talking about? You stupid filly I—” “Because you’re fired!” I thrusted the bucket of burning turnips upon the remains of Madame le Flour, and watched as she slowly ignited, burlap first, then the flour itself. It’s funny how quickly laughter can become an ear splitting shriek, especially when you’re the only one who can hear it to begin with. I had defeated them, and there in the basement I stood victorious, covered in flour and dirt, with a small fire spreading slowly behind me. I was filled with a sense of pride in my accomplishment. I had done it. I had freed myself from their control, and I was finally free to pursue my beloved Twilight unhindered, on my terms. I could feel myself fill with a new-found energy, filling me up to the point that I thought my mane would blow up and pop! I just wanted Twilight. Even with all the doubt that still lurked in my heart, all I could think about was Twilight. Twilight, just wait a little longer. I'm coming to see you. I want to be with you! Twilight! Without bothering to look back at the remains of the Madame or her lackeys, I slunk back into the vents and crawled about until I found Twilight in her room. The pink balloons along the floor, the popped doll of my likeness, and Twilight’s cake-covered backside told me that another one of my brilliant pranks had gone off without a hitch. “PINKIE PIE! I have had it with all of this! I’m covered in cake, frosting, and chocolate syrup, and I can’t even take a bath because you’ve wrecked my plumbing! How am I supposed to get clean? HOW!?” I don’t know what came over me, but I wasn’t afraid to tell Twilight what was on my mind, so I let loose with both barrels,“I could lick you clean, hehehe.” I watched as Twilight jumped backwards and began shuddering in corner, grinding her teeth, and searching around with her adorably bloodshot eyes. She looks like she could use some cheering up... I’ve got it! “Hey Twilight, guess what? I wrote you a song! Wanna hear it?" "What are you going on about, Pinkie!" "The itsy bisty Pinkie Pie is crawling all about—” “No! Just leave me alone, Pinkie! Why are you doing this?” “It’s like music to my ears when I hear you scream and shout—” “Please... please just stop it, I thought we were friends...” “From the merging of our hearts we’ll share each other’s pain—“ “I’m... I’m sorry, Pinkie... I don’t know what I did, but I’m sorry...”  “Then we’ll sew our fates together with hairs from our mane.” I watched Twilight as she began crying, clearly moved by my song. It made me so happy to see her. Soon we’ll be together forever, my sweet. Hehehe. Chapter 3 End Flip to side B > Tape 2 Side B ...Where No One Can See Us... > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- A Midnight Legends Press Production By: Your Antagonist(VegaKS03) & Starwind Dood Enabling Chapter 4: ...Where No One Can See Us... Tape 2: Side B         I screamed, as loud as I could, calling any would-be listeners, but there were none. The only pony listening was her: Pinkie Pie. I laid in my confectionery mess of a bed for a moment, just trying to make sense of it all. I just wanted to lie down for a moment, but I guess Pinkie Pie wouldn't even let me have that. Grind, grind, grind. Of course, none of Pinkie Pie's traps have ever been that simple, and a volley of balloons fell on me, each and every one of them carrying her likeness. I took a deep-breath, thinking that it just might calm me down if only a little. It didn't, and I rammed my horn into each of Pinkie's faces. Pop, pop, pop. "Hah!" I pulled myself off the bed of cake and felt something cling to me. I looked over and  jumped, finding Pinkie Pie, grinning at me with an uncharacteristically innocent look stitched on her face. "Pinkie!" I yelled, my voice betraying my panicked state. I pried her off, suspending her in the air with my magic. She hung there limp and lifeless, causing my mind to return to this afternoon when I had... "No," I whimpered, dropping Pinkie  to the floor. I backed away, trying to keep another round of tears from pouring forth. It wasn't Pinkie Pie, but a life-sized doll of her. "Pinkie Pie... PINKIE PIE!" I yelled out her name as loud as I could, just trying to vent my frustration. "I have had it with all of this! I’m covered in cake, frosting, caramel, and chocolate syrup, and I can’t even take a bath because you’ve wrecked my plumbing! How am I supposed to get clean? HOW!?” I didn't expect her to answer back. I expected more of this unnerving silence, or maybe even an inviting giggle, so I nearly jumped out of my fur when she did answer me. “I could lick you clean, hehehe.” Her voice echoed throughout the room, hitting me from every directions. I started crawling backwards, hitting the wall behind me. I wanted to run away from this merry-go-round of suffering Pinkie was putting me through, but I felt too trapped to so much as move. I gasped for air, feeling my heart in my chest beating away, scared for the next fright, but I was also growing angry and upset. I was also tired, so very tired. Where is she? WHERE IS SHE! My gaze darted from one corner of the room to another, trying to find the source of that voice. Grind, grind, grind. “Hey Twilight, guess what? I wrote you a song! Wanna hear it?" A song? "What are you going on about, Pinkie!" "The itsy bisty Pinkie Pie is crawling all about—” “No! Just leave me alone," I yelled back indignantly, feeling her poisonous words trying to drown me with dread. "Pinkie! Why are you doing this?” “It’s like music to my ears when I hear you scream and shout—” “Please... please just stop it, I thought we were friends...” I'm on my knees now, clasping my ears with my hooves. “From the merging of our hearts we’ll share each other’s pain—“ “I’m... I’m sorry, Pinkie... I don’t know what I did, but I’m sorry...” I felt like I would breakdown and start crying again. “Then we’ll sew our fates together with hairs from our mane.” Why, why is she doing this? All the stress that had been building up in me: the aches, the pains, the sores, the tears, the grinding. I let it all out on the floor as I began crying my eyes out. I wished Spike was with me, if only so I could hold onto him, tightly, and he would probably reply with some sarcastic quip that would make me feel better. No, I was here alone, with Pinkie Pie. With Pinkie Pie."PINKIE!" "Yes, Twilight! What is it! Tell me anything!" "Stop it!" I screamed. "Stop all of this!" "Then come and get me, Twilight!" Her voice was filled with this energy, this desire that sickened me. She wanted all of this. "Come, and jump into my hooves! Let me clean you, let me touch you, let me lick you! Twilight, I love you, Twilight!" Love, another term I never quite understood. Foreign to me, like friendship was. "These words that I've buried in my heart are everywhere and I don't know what to do anymore!" She kept going on and on, repeating the same thing, stammering on like a useless broken record. She sounded like some twisted wreck of a mare. She's lost it. That's the only explanation for her sudden shift in behaviour. "What are you getting at, Pinkie!" I yelled back in defiance. I was so tired of playing her games, why would I want to play more? "You know what, I'm done with this, Pinkie! I'm not moving! Do you hear me!" "Then I'll come get you, Twilight!" What? Those words of hers came out so strong, so predatory that it made me dizzy. "You'll... what?" I asked back, cautiously. "I want you, Twilight! So come and get me, Twilight! Or I'll get you, Twilight! One way or another we'll be together, Twilight! Hehehe, hahahaha!" Stop laughing, please. Her hoof-steps echoed throughout the treehouse, scurrying about frantically. It was painfully obvious now that she was in the ventilation system, but up till now she had been quiet. Now she was as noisy as ever. "I love you so much, I'm going to explode, Twilight! Hehehe, hahaha!" "Shut up!" I yelled back. She didn't answer me, but I could still hear hoofsteps echoing throughout the library. She was on the move, and hunting me down. I won't come easy, Pinkie. I had to get to work, and fast. I looked around my room anxious to find something I could defend myself with, but it dawned on me that Pinkie had already been here. She had been here and she had changed everything around, twisting it into her declaration of love. My entire home has been twisted into her image. "I'm coming for you, Twilight!" I ran out of the room, galloping frantically down to the main hall of the library. I had come to the conclusion that something was very wrong with Pinkie Pie, and whatever it was, she was calling it love. Research could be the only chance I had to save Pinkie Pie from whatever it was making her act this way. "Love, love, love." I ran from bookcase to bookcase, searching frantically for any books about love. And, of course, with Spike out of commission I can barely find anything! I should have expected I'd find nothing, but I kept looking anyway. Pinkie's loud hoofsteps and mad giggling kept me on edge for the slightest disturbances, but at long last I had found a book that might be able to save her, and me. It was at the top of one of the bookcases. I tried to pull at it with my magic, but it seemed to have been wedged in there. Dang it, come out! With one last hard tug, I pried the book out of the shelf, and with it, the bookcase came tumbling down on me. My head was aching, making it so difficult to think. Pull yourself together, Twilight. You have no idea what Pinkie will do if she catches you! I shoved the bookcase aside, feeling a terrible pain in one of my shoulders. Please let nothing be broken. I hung the book over me, Love and Brain Chemistry. "Love," I began reading, "Is the result of-"         "Dopamine, serotonin, and adrenaline in your brain, Twilight!" My eyes shrunk into dots and my breathing stopped. I moved the book aside, and there stood Pinkie. "High levels of neurotransmitter dopamine stimulates the desire emotion by triggering an intense rush of pleasure. It has the same effect on the brain as taking cocaine!" I backed away, dragging myself until I hit another bookcase, shaking down numerous tomes, many of which landed right on my head.         "Stay away!" I pleaded, feeling my heart trying to tear itself out of my chest.         "And serotonin is known to cause obsessive compulsive order, making the pony think about nothing except the pony she loves." I could have died of fright, looking down and finding little Pinkie Pie's inching out of the pages of the books, one by one, chanting off facts about brain chemistry. "Who are you thinking about now, Twilight?" they all asked me at once, climbing all over me, wiggling themselves into every one of my orifices. I felt sick. "Did you know that oxytocin makes lovers feel close, Twilight. Did you, Twilight, did you?"         "AAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I screamed as loud as I could, trying to pull all the Pinkie Pie's out of my body. I scratched and bit and fought and struggled against the invasion of my body, but they were persistent. They would bite down on my tail as I tried to pull them out of my rear-end. "Get off me," I chanted. "Get off, get off, get off, get off!" "We love you, Twilight!" Little Pinkie Pies, crawling out of every nook and corner of my library, marching to me, each with a look of hunger in their eyes. "Let's eat each other, Twilight!" I was buried under a mountain of pink fur, threatened to be entirely submerged. This isn't real, I told myself. This can't be real! Wake up, Twilight, wake up! "NO!" I stood up, letting off a wave of magic that threw off the pink army. I looked around the room, eyes darting from corner to corner for any sign of Pinkie, but there were none. I was alone, surrounded by torn up books and broken bookshelves. "That was all a hallucination." I laughed. I felt so relieved, any my laughter was building on itself, becoming louder and louder as a few stray tears escaped to the floor. "It was all a hallucination!" "Having fun, Twilight?" Her again! "Pinkie Pie!" I yelled out. "I'm going to get you for all of this, Pinkie Pie!" "That's what I want, Twilight! Come and get me, Twilight. Fly to me, Twilight!" "Pinkie Pie!" I screamed so loud that my vision blurred for all of a moment. Grind, grind, grind. She's obsessed with me, so she'll come after me no matter what I do! That's all. Just need to wait, and plan, and wait, and prepare, and wait until I have her. Yes, that's all. Twilight, you're such a genius! The sound of Pinkie Pie clopping all throughout my house kept me alert,and ready. I quietly slipped into the kitchen, gingerly opening the drawers and liberating any spare utensils I still had. Oh yes, these will do nicely. So nicely! I scare myself sometimes with just how ingenius I can be. "Where are you, Twilight!" her voice echoed out of the vents, still carrying that venomous desire, but I snicker quietly to myself. "Twilight, talk to me, Twilight!" She's so much easier to deal with than I estimated, and I won't give her the attention she craves so easily. I stow the forks and spoons away in a saddlebag, and creep out of the kitchen. I needed to make preparations. I got to work in the main room of the library, using magic to weld together anything I had snagged in my sweep of the house. Soon, I had bars. Lots and lots of bars. I began attaching them slowly but surely, forming the cage I would use to catch Pinkie Pie at long last. My only source of comfort during this delicate process was Pinkie Pie's scurrying and the crashing of rain against my home. I'll have you soon, Pinkie Pie! The cage was done in just under an hour, and hoisted onto the ceiling. Everything is almost ready, but what else do I do? I still need some kind of an extra edge. Of course, Owlicious! With Owlicious’ ability to see in the dark, I could easily get the jump on Pinkie Pie. Such an ingenious move! But where is he? "Owlicious!" I called out. "Owlicious, where are you?" "Looking for your birdie, Twilight?" I should have expected Pinkie to do something about Owilicous. "Pinkie Pie, did you do anything to Owlicious?" "Oh he's fine, Twilight. You could say he's getting his just desserts!" "Oh, but I would just hate for something bad to happen to my pet owl. Why I would hate it so much I just might hate the pony who hurt him." I had the biggest grin on my face as I drank in the silence, sprinkled with the lightest spice of Pinkie Pie's little whimpers. "You don't mean that," she finally cried after a moment of silence. "Oh, but I do!" "YOU DON'T MEAN THAT!" I let out the slightest of giggles, the crescendo of Pinkie Pie's sobs affirming all my theories on her madness. "Where is he, Pinkie Pie," I ask in the most sickeningly sweet and sincere voice I can muster. "Just tell me where he is, Pinkie Pie." "He's in the bathtub, Twilight." Her answer was toneless, deprived of any recognizable emotion. No matter, I'm still one step ahead of her. I've done my research, Pinkie Pie.  I galloped up the stairs and to the bathroom. Just as Pinkie Pie said, I found him buried under a tub of pudding. How original, Pinkie Pie. I extended an aura of magic into the mess and pulled out my owl. Drats, he's unconscious. I shook him a little, pushing on his lungs to force out any pudding caught inside his throat. "Owlicious! Owlicious, wake up!" I yelled. "I need you awake, now!" After a few seconds, he opened one beady little eye, staring at me like I was insane. "We're going Pinkie Pie hunting." "Who?" I don't have time for this. "Pinkie Pie!" I yelled. "Who!" He struggled and broke free of my magical hold, a look of terror plastered across his tiny face as he turned and flew right into a locked window. "Some help you are," I spat. "Twilight." Pinkie Pie again, but her voice was so close that it made the hairs on the back of my neck stand stiff. I turned, my teeth on the verge of cracking, and she was there, standing at the doorway. She was covered in flour and sweat and looked partially singed. From the stains on the fur leading down from her swollen red eyes, it was obvious she had done a lot of crying. "I can see you, and touch you at last, Twilight. Nothing to hold me back from you, Twilight!" "Pinkie Pie," I growled. This is it, I have to trap Pinkie Pie now! "I win, Twilight. I've caught you, Twilight. You're my prize, Twilight! Is your owl okay, Twilight.You don't hate me, right, Twilight? Twilight?" She took a step towards me, her eyes in a half-closed stupor and her mouth hanging open. "I just want you, Twilight. Is that so much, Twilight?" "Game's not over yet, Pinkie Pie," I giggled, drawing some unnatural confusion from Pinkie Pie. "You haven't caught me yet, Pinkie Pie." "Twilight!" She jumped at me, a feral look of desire in her face. I closed my eyes, and concentrated as hard as I could for the tiniest moment and, in a flash, I winked to the doorway where Pinkie Pie once stood. Pinkie Pie had missed me by a fraction of an inch, and she landed in the tub of her own concoction. I turned around, smirking as I saw Pinkie Pie rise from the tub, her face covered in chocolaty mess. She licked her face clean and turned to me with renewed vigor. "Come join me, the pudding's all right, Twilight," she giggled. "You'll have to catch me, Pinkie Pie." I slammed the door shut, locking it with a spell. I felt Pinkie Pie bang against it, and in turn banging against the magic of the lock linked to the walls of my mind. I didn't have much time. "I'm getting away, Pinkie Pie?" "No!" She screamed. "We're so close, Twilight! Let's be together forever, Twilight!" Just a little more, and I'll have her! I nearly squealed to myself in delight. My plan was working. I just needed to herd her to the main room. "Forever is too far away for you, Pinkie Pie." She gave up on trying to break the door down, so I could only assume she was back in the ventilation system. "You can't have what you can't catch, Pinkie Pie! You're losing this game, Pinkie Pie." Her hoof-steps became faster, more frantic. I began my descent down the stairs, letting my hooves fall heavily, echoing all throughout my house so Pinkie Pie could follow me. "You're losing me, Pinkie Pie!" "Stop running away from me, Twilight!" "But isn't this part of your game, Pinkie Pie?" I teased her. "You'll never touch me at this rate, Pinkie Pie!" "I want you, Twilight!" I stepped into the main room of the library, surrounded by a mess of torn books and my jerryrigged cage, hanging sweetly from the ceiling. "I'm right here, Pinkie Pie. I’m waiting for you, Pinkie Pie! I'm going to win, Pinkie Pie!" The moment was choking me, making it so hard to breathe and a strand of spit from my mouth hit the floor. "Where are you, Pinkie Pie!" "I'm here, Twilight." Her voice seemed to come from everywhere, echoing from every vent in the room. Cheap trick, Pinkie Pie! "Are we going to be together now? Are you done running, Twilight!" "Do I look like I'm moving, Pinkie Pie?" I teased her again, turning around and lifting my tail and mooned her. "Can you catch me now, Pinkie Pie?" "Twilight!" Just as I had predicted, she lunged at me, and I cut the rope on my cage. It fell right on her. I have her! "Pinkie Pie," I smiled at her, feeling my lips stretch to the corners of my face. "I've got you, Pinkie Pie! I win, Pinkie Pie!" "You win, Twilight," she replied melancholy. "I'm your prize, Twilight. Take me, and do whatever you want with me, Twilight." "Oh I intend to! There is so little I know about this love, but you will make just the perfect test subject. Oh it will be so much fun, slicing open your head and finally looking into that little sugar laced pony brain of yours. I'll poke and probe you from every angle, carefully measuring every little response. Oh, it will be so much fun, Pinkie Pie! So. Much. Fun." Side B End End of Tape 2 Please Insert Dual Playback Tape 3 > Tape 3 Dual Playback...And We Can Be Together Forever My Love > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- A Midnight Legends Press Production By: Your Antagonist(VegaKS03) & Starwind Dood Enabling Chapter 5: ...And We Can Be Together Forever, My Love Tape 3: Dual Playback         "Just a few more minutes, Pinkie Pie!" I delightfully sang to her, waltzing from cupboard to cupboard, looking for any possible dissecting tools. I rarely venture into the culinary arts, so I'm quite surprised that so many interesting tools are used for cooking. Any knife could be used to cut open a pony when enough force is applied. It takes little more than a spoon for scooping out the brain, and my mind is just buzzing with ways I can apply the egg-beater I found. Oh yes! This will be so very educational. So much research I could do! So much I can learn about love! I can't wait to tell the Princess! I'm still lacking a means of restraining Pinkie Pie though. "Hoof-cuffs!" To think that gift from Rarity would someday have an application. I still didn't understand why Rainbow Dash was laughing so hard when I pulled it out of the package. Must be an inside joke.         I trot past the cage still holding my beloved specimen, Pinkie Pie. I couldn't wait to see how cute she looked cut up on my kitchen table. The inner workings of the pony body is such a marvelous thing! Everything working together in perfect harmony, like me and my friends! Like me and Pinkie Pie will soon be. "Soon, Pinkie Pie! Are you as excited as I am, Pinkie Pie!" No response. She just lied there, staring at me in a hypnotic stupor. This love aspect is so fascinating if it was now making her docile. Research must be done, quickly!         I galloped up to my room, quickly scouring the mess for the hoof-cuffs. I remembered stashing them under my bed. Reaching a hoof under the frosting-laden mess, I feel around in it until I find the box I had stashed it away in. I pulled it out and pried the lid off with my teeth. "Found it," I chuckled. "Soon, so soon, I can't wait!"         I returned to the main room of the library, swinging the cuffs around a hoof playfully. "Are you ready, Pinkie Pie?" I asked her, unable to contain the wide smile erupting across my face. "You'll just love it, Pinkie Pie!" I spun the hoof-cuffs faster, barely able to contain the ecstasy surging through my body at the thought of cutting her open. The cuffs flew off, landing next to a torn up book behind me. My eye twitched, my sweet-gratification has been delayed by all of a few seconds. I groaned loudly and galloped up to it, picking it up with my teeth. I suppose I got too excited, I huffed, and turned back to Pinkie Pie, ready to begin my experiments. What I found instead was my perfectly sculpted cage mangled to bits. "She's gone." I exhaled slowly, feeling every muscle in my body clench up. Why are you doing this? Just when I was on the edge of understanding you, Pinkie Pie! Grind, grind, grind!  I was back in the ventilation system, making my way to the upper level when I noticed Twilight playing with some kind of shiny object. Shiny! What’s she got, what’s she got? Squinting my eyes, I noticed that she had a set of four metal rings connected by a chain. She brought back hoof-cuffs? *Gasp* Those are ‘naughty pony’  toys. Hehehe, I didn’t know my precious Twilight was into those kind of games. Hehehehe! This’ll be all the more fun when I catch her!  “PINKIE PIE!” I clasped a hoof to my chest and gave a little sigh when I heard her scream my name. Now that she wanted me, I wanted to keep this game up just a little longer, and I knew just how to do that. Before that though...  “Hehehe, Where am I, Twilight?” “PINKIE PIE, WHERE ARE YOU!? I JUST WANT TO PLAY WITH YOUR BRAIN! IS THAT SO MUCH, PINKIE PIE? COME BACK TO ME! SO WE CAN EXPLORE THIS ‘LOVE’ PHENOMENON!” She wants to play with me? She wants to explore me? I could feel the blood rush to my face as my mind drifted into naughty territory, thinking of all the things we could do to each other, but I wanted to drag this out a teensy bit longer. I hope she’ll understand. I crawled through the vents until I arrived in the bathroom, for what I surmised would be the last time I needed to use this room for anything. Gently pushing the grating off the wall, I tip-hoofed my way to her toilet and spotted what I came in here for: plungers. Most ponies usually only have one or two, but for some odd reason Twilight had seven of them and they were all pink and purple. Thinking nothing of it, I popped the sticks off of the four purple plungers, and began searching under her sink until I found a roll of duck tape.  Duck tape? Why do they call it  duck tape? They should change the name to chicken tape instead, oooohhh, or falcon tape!  I prepared to sink back into the ventilation shaft once more, but then it occurred to me that there was an easier way to prolong this game. Without any hesitation I picked up and threw the ventilation grating into the bathroom mirror making a loud “CRASH!” sound before I jumped into the vents and started rushing my way to her bedroom. I’d only have one shot at this and I wanted to do it right. “I HEARD THAT, PINKIE PIE! AND I’M COMING TO GET YOU! DON’T RUN FROM ME, PINKIE PIE! DON’T YOU WANT TO BE TOGETHER?” Don’t worry Twilight, we’re going to be together soon enough... I'm so close I'm so close I'm so close! Everything seemed to be coming together again. I had my wonderful dissecting tools, my restraints, my scrolls and ink. All I needed was my test subject, Pinkie Pie. "I'm coming for you, Pinkie Pie! I'll have you soon,!" My heart was racing, all the blood in my veins began burning up as Pinkie Pie bounced through my head with that defiant grin on her face and look of torturing desire in her eyes. Oh how I want to study you, Pinkie Pie! I ripped the door of the bathroom off with my teeth, and threw it away down the stairs. These doors are becoming such a nuisance! Inside, I find the grating of the ventilation laying on the floor amidst a sea of broken glass. I ignored the grating and turned to the shards. "If I sterilize these, they could make for great tools for cutting open Pinkie Pie. Much more efficient than a butter knife." I gleefully turned to the faucet, reminded a minute later that my plumbing now lead to some deranged soda reservoir. "If I boil soda, would it still work?" I let out an irritated sigh. I've lost Pinkie Pie again. Pinkie Pie's in the ventilation system again. I'm playing Pinkie Pie's game again! "Why can’t you just give up and let me have you, Pinkie Pie!? I just want to understand love with you, Pinkie Pie! But I need you, Pinkie Pie! So I can cut open your brain, Pinkie Pie! I'll be gentle, Pinkie Pie!" After what I presumed would be an indefinite silence, her voice penetrated the quiet atmosphere, "Perhaps a little rough?" "As rough as you want it, Pinkie Pie! We don't even need anaesthesia!" A slight giggle erupts from vents. She's close! Pinkie Pie is close! "With a candle-lit dinner in the background." "Your brain hooked up to a neuro-response reader." "The window drapes opened, and only the moonlight to guide us." "Your body lying on a table." "Our manes mixing together." "Probed in every orifice." "Our eyes meeting." "My quill writing." "Our muzzles touching." "The lovely stitches you'll have when I put you back together." "And we'll be together forever." "Forever, Pinkie Pie! But I need to be with you first, where are you, Pinkie Pie?" My mind teetered dangerously on the edge of anxiety while I awaited for her response . How much longer did I have to wait. I couldn't stand the thought of waiting any longer. Why must research be delayed so much? "Everything is ready, Twilight. I'm waiting for you in your room. I want you, and I know you want me to. Everything is ready my love." "Yes!" I gleefully squeal. Her body is ready, I just need to take her now! I bounced ecstatically into my room, but my high expectations crashed, burned and died on arrival. Pinkie Pie was nowhere to be found. Just another rearrangement of my room. I stepped forward, only to find my hoof buried in a pile of rose petals. "Really, Pinkie Pie, more food?" I groan. "Why can't I just have you, Pinkie Pie! Why are you making this so difficult!" Fly me to the moon...         I nearly jumped out of my fur when I heard the music start playing. What are you doing now, Pinkie Pie? I followed the trail of rose petals next to a candle-lit table, a bowl of chocolate fondue with an assortment of strawberries and peaches sat on the side. "I'm not hungry, Pinkie Pie," I growled.         "Don't like my Fondue-Me recipe, Twilight? I made it just for you and me, Twilight."         "No!" I yelled back. She's in this room. She's so close, but where is she!? "I thought you said we could be together, Pinkie Pie! Why are you delaying this?!" She gave no response. No, she was responding, just not vocally. I could feel every little bit of her in this room, twitching and aching, trying to force its way down my throat. I look back at the trail, and it lead past the dinner table, further into my room. Is she at the end? I wondered, feeling my body temperature rise. I followed the trail, up the stairs, past Spike's basket, back to my bed. It was a normal bed again, only this time Pinkie Pie lay on top of it, the pale moonlight flowing in through the window making her pink coat glow a ghostly pale shade of its normal coloring. What a perfect specimen... How I wanted her. How I wanted to poke and prod her, to learn what love is from her. A tender smile spread across my lips as I reached out to touch her. "It's time, Pinkie Pie." “It’s time, Pinkie Pie.” Those words sent shivers up my spine as Twilight drew closer and closer to the bed. I felt my heart jump into my throat as she eased her way onto the mattress, fixing her eyes in a bestial fashion as though she were a predator closing up the hunt. That insatiable infatuation that I sensed from her only made me more excited with every inch of distance that she closed between us. “Come closer to me, Twilight.” “As close as you want, Pinkie Pie." That’s it , just a little more... “I’m so cold and lonely, Twilight. Why don’t you join me?  Maybe we can warm each other up, Twilight.” “Don't worry, Pinkie Pie. I'm right here for you.” Gotcha, my beloved Twilight. I watched with glee as she reached out, and grabbed the hindleg of my Pinkie-Puppet. It looks like she’s taken the bait hook and sinker, but it’s time for me to drop the line.  I looked down at my hooves which were covered in my jerry-rigged plunger shoes, and began hastily undoing the  tape that adhered myself to them. As soon as I popped the last piece of duck tape off my hooves, I felt physics enforce the law gravity almost immediately as I fell from her ceiling and landed on a  corner of the bed, catching her completely off guard. The startled look in her eyes as she tried to express her happiness to seeing me was simply delicious. “B-but y-you’re r-right here— NO! I CAUGHT YOU! HOW ARE YOU EVEN—” I didn’t hesitate to tackle her onto the floor locking her in a tight embrace “Shhh.... there’s no need to fret.” I said while placing my right hoof in front of her mouth. I inched my face closer to hers until we were separated only by my hoof.  “Here you are Twilight, I’m going to let have a slice of Auntie Pinkie’s pie. Fresh, warm, and moist.” She began flailing her hooves around wildly after I said that. “Twilight, how are you supposed to enjoy your Pie if you carry on like that?” I spotted the hoofcuffs on the floor not a few inches from Twilight’s head and a naughty thought popped in my head. “Oh Twilight, Auntie Pinkie Pie has a game we can play...” Without another word, I seized the restraints and slapped them tightly them on Twilight, binding her legs together. “Pinkie Pie, what are you— Mmmph! Mmmph!” Without warning, I pressed my wanting, waiting, and tormented lips against hers, and indulged myself in every moment of the sensation. I felt a surge of electricity flow through my very being, as I greedily drove myself deeper and deeper into the kiss, but I couldn’t help myself, I was insatiable. Twilight fought and struggled against me, but I payed her attempts no attention as I began probing her mouth with my tongue. The sensations were driving me crazy as I drove my tongue along hers, massaging it and caressing it, savoring the taste of her breath.  I ovulated my lips along hers once more, detailing every single curve, treasuring the not too firm yet not too soft texture before diving back into the euphoria that was her tongue. Her lips were nice, but nothing could compare with the warm and wet pressure of her tongue along mine as I began to trace the edges of her cheeks. Mmm... juicy!  I wanted every second, I wanted every inch, I would leave no crevice unexplored, I had waited so long for this, and I wasn’t going to waste a moment of this. Her warm saliva on  my tongue coupled with the  feel and flavor of her warm breath, set me off, to the point of no return, I wasn’t even thinking rationally, I had become the embodiment of lust at this point. And yet, as good as kissing the mare of my dreams felt, I needed something a little more.         My mind was blanking, slowly trying to interpret what had happened. I struggled against the bindings on my legs, reaching down to it with my magic, but my aura bounced right off. Anti-magic? Why did you give these to me, Rarity!         I still couldn't breathe after what had just happened. My lips hurt, and I could still taste Pinkie Pie. Bubble-gum, cinnamon flavored. She was looking away, and I wanted to escape. Another tug on the hoof-cuffs and I was reminded again of my predicament. What's going on! I don't understand. I don't understand I don't understand I DON'T UNDERSTAND! I pulled myself off of Twilight after indulging in her perfection one last time, and stood up, with my attention directed at her wardrobe. “Hey Twilight, don’t go anywhere, I’ll be right back kay?” I trotted over to her wardrobe, and fished through countless amounts of boring old robes and dresses, until i finally found what I was looking for. Even a bookworm like Twilight has to own something spicy, and there it was: A black lacy saddle with embroidered silver stripes outlining the sides. Upon further investigation, I discovered black stockings and a pair of high-heeled horsehoes. Oh wow, for the quiet type, she certainly has some bold tastes. “Hehehe...” “Pinkie Pie, what are you giggling about?  Let me go, this isn’t funny anymore, Pinkie Pie!”  Without another moment of hesitation I adorned all of the articles of clothing, and trotted to the dinner table staring sadly at the bucket of fondue.  It would be an awful shame to let it all go to waste... I know! I picked it up with my mouth and trotted back to my still restrained beloved.  I set the bucket down before her, and decided to model the clothing I liberated from her closet. As expected, her eyes shot right open in what I guessed was a show of approval. “Do you like what you see Twilight?” "This is embarrassing, Pinkie Pie," she grunted through those cute pearly gritted teeth. I got in close to her, freeing her from the cuffs and drawing her close. I felt her struggle, but it quickly became apparent that between the two of us, I was stronger. I placed a hoof on her head and held it to my chest, and idulged myself in her scent. Sugar, sweat, and old parchment. I felt her heartbeat racing away. I'm so sorry. I bit down on her mane, savoring the dried frosting that still clung to her. I dipped a hoof into the bucket of scalding hot chocolate, and drew a little chocolaty heart on my chest, scalding my skin. It hurt. "This is yours, Twilight," I whisper into her ears. "Pinkie Pie—" "LICK IT!" I grabbed her cute little confused head and forced it against my chocolate-covered chest, feeling her hot breath fall down onto my starving stomach. I forced her harder into myself, and I almost melted into a little puddle Pinkie goop when I felt her tongue against my chest. Yes, just like that, Twilight. Her tongue, warm, leaving little sparkling streaks of saliva on my body, and I even felt a little pile of spit oozing out of my hanging tongue. I don’t think I’ll ever take a bath again... I bit into her sugar-coated mane again, slurping on the little dregs of sugar that still stuck to her. I said I would lick you clean, Twilight. You'll enjoy it, I promise. I was almost eating her mane now, and I dipped my hoof back into the bucket and drew another little heart on my cheek. "Have more, Twilight." "No, Pinkie Pie, I—" "I SAID HAVE MORE!" I yelled at her, forcing her face against mine. I'm sorry, Twilight, but I can't let you go now. She took her hint again, and I felt her tongue brush my cheek. My tail went limp, falling to the side over her bead, and I took another bite into her sweet mane. I savored every little sensation of it: my legs against her warm and inviting body, the wetness of my fur as she licked it, the taste of Twilight, and her scent. Her wonderful scent. I dipped my hoof back in the chocolate, and started drawing on my chest again. I drew her cutie mark, a six pointed star. "Proof that I'm yours, Twilight. Heart, body, and soul. Seal it with a kiss, Twilight." "Pinkie Pie, please-" "TAKE ME!" Why do I have to force my feelings like this? Didn't you want me, Twilight. Take me! Take me and never let me go! I forced her against me again. It didn't take long for her to get to work this time, and I felt the boiling chocolate slowly being soothed away by Twilight's perfect lips. I started grinding away on her hips, feeling her body squirm and contort under the pressure. I was growing hotter, losing myself in the atmosphere and this moment when my should would eclipse with Twilight's. She had finished licking off the cutie mark I drew on myself, and I threw my hooves around her, scooping her up in one last hug as I continued to rub ourselves together. "Agh!" She squealed? She squealed! She squealed for me! "Pin... kie..." "Just one more time," I panted. "Together, we're together now, Twilight!" Agh!         I could still taste chocolate and fur in my mouth. Pinkie Pie laid on top of me still, but she had gone limp. She was face down in the pillow next to me. All I could see were the fringes of her mane. "Why did you do that," I whimpered. "I just wanted to dissect your brain. Was that too much?"         "I couldn't help myself," she whispered back to me, placing a soft kiss on my cheek. "I love you, Twilight, and this was the only way I could get you to understand me."         "This is love?" I stared back at the ceiling of my room, my brow furrowing as I tried to process all this raw data.         "Feeling the other pony run through your heart and soul. That's how I felt about you Twilight," she whispered to me.         "So that's love?" I didn't so much as ask Pinkie Pie that I asked myself. Feeling the other pony run through your heart and soul.         "Do you hate me, Twilight?" Her voice cracked, and I could feel a few tears flow down the pillow, depositing themselves in my ears.         "Pinkie Pie," I turned to face her, "I could never hate you. Not in a million years." I leaned over, and left a kiss on her cheek. She didn't say anything, but she hugged me tighter, drawing herself closer to me.         Another hour passed with us just laying there, enjoying each other's presence. "What are you thinking about?" she asked me. "Dissecting your loving brain," I answered back. "Make sure you put it back, okay?" she replied, nuzzling her head into my neck. "I need that, okay?" "I promise, Pinkie Pie. I wouldn't want to kill my first love." I place my hooves around her, letting her lay her head along my chest as I warmed my face with her mane. She started picking at my mane, pulling out stray strands. "Ow," I yelped. "That hurt, Pinkie Pie." "Sorry," she replied with a cheesy grin. She started fumbling around in her own mane, and pulled out a few strands. "Hey, Twilight, have a sewing needle." "I don't know. You've messed around with my room so many times I don't know where anything is," I giggled. "Was that also a part of your love?" "Yep," she answered me back. "I have so much to learn," I sighed, but I relished the thought to learn so much about love. "Oh, I know." I levitated over a little shard of broken glass. "Will this work?" "Yes," Pinkie Pie squealed as she started forming string with the hairs. I poked a little hole in the shard so she could thread it. She looked so happy when I gave her the little bit that my heart stopped for all of a moment. Is this feeling the magic of love? She bit down on the glass piece. "What are you doing?" "I'm going to sew our bodies together so we can never part again," she answered me. I couldn't help but smile at the idea. "I can't wait to document this experience with you, Pinkie Pie." There was so much that I had to learn that I was giddy with anticipation. "Oh Twilight," she giggled. "You and your quirks." I felt the needle sink into my skin, puncturing out again and drawing a few beads of blood. "Ow, that hurts." "Sorry," she apologised as she maneuvered the shard of glass into her own stomach. She didn't even wince, and even seemed to smile wider as she tugged on the thread, pulling our bodies togethor. "Just ninety-nine more to go." "Only ninety-nine?" I raised an eyebrow at her. "Is that enough?" "Nine hundred and ninety nine then?" "That should do," I sighed and felt her prick me again. "Hey Pinkie Pie, why don’t you sing me something while you work on” —I had to bite my lip as the glass passed through my belly again— “sewing us up?” “Okie doki loki, my love! I’ve got just this song just for us: Whoooh-oh-oh-oooooh, with the longest twine Whoooh-oh-oh-oooooh, with the longest— When I stitch up our fates to-night, Everyday after this will be so happy and bright, What else can I doooooo? Never wanna be a-part from you, So we’ll stitch it with the longest twine. Pinkie Pie drove the glass into me once again, causing another yelp of pain to escape from my lips. "You have such a— ungh— nice singing voice." "Thank you, Twilight." She repeated the process over and over, slowly making a circle around our stomachs ad binding us together. Hm, binding. "Hey, Pinkie Pie, what did you do with those hood-cuffs?"         "Oh, Twilight, you shouldn't enable that kind of behaviour." Please insert final tape to conclude this album > Last Report: Single Play: Epilogue > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- A Midnight Legends Press Production By: Your Antagonist(VegaKS03) & Starwind Dood Enabling Epilogue Last Report: Single Play         Rainbow Dash stared through the one-way mirror, a look of horror cemented on her face. "But... what? How? Why? Aw hay. Zecora, how did you find them?" She turned to Zecora, the one who found Twilight and Pinkie Pie in their patchwork state.         “I was on my way to return Twilight’s dragon Spike, I believe that the time was at the first dawn’s light. I found the door was unlocked to her library, so I inside I ventured to that great tree. Please believe me when this I stress, the whole place was an absolute mess; but up the stairs I dared go, what had transpired in your friends room was something I doubt any pony could know. In the center of the room a sight so horrid i could cry: dearest Twilight was sewn together with Ms. Pinkie Pie.”         Rainbow Dash took a moment to try and process Zecora's limerick. She turned back to the window, trying to hold her lunch down as she stared at Twilight and Pinkie Pie behind it, holding each other with nauseating scars all around their stomach right where the thread had pierced them. "But that doesn't explain anything."         "Calm down, Dash," Rarity replied, placing a hoof on her friend's shoulder. "Zecora said she doesn't know how this happened so don't pressure her." She sighed, feeling Rainbow Dash become less tense before returning to a bench at the back of the room. She had already lost her breakfast from just glancing at her poor friend's haggard state. She didn't want to lose last night's dinner. She took a seat next to Fluttershy, who was in a fit of quiet tears.         "Doc," Applejack addressed a passing attending doctor who stopped and gave his undivided attention to the ranch-hand. “Are they gonna be... you know... all right?” The doctor looked into Applejack’s green eyes and sighed. "It's... possible that they can get better." He brought a hoof to his chin, mumbling to himself a few words before finally addressing all of the onlookers. "It's called Shared Psychotic Disorder. To put it simply, one of your friend's insanity fueled the other, and now their stuck in their own shared delusional world." "So why are they making kissy-face to each other!?" Rainbow Dash yelled, lacking any tact. "I don't know, ma'am," the doctor sighed in frustration. "It's been a challenge to get close to either of them without being assaulted with magic. Being able to move them here is a miracle in itself. Perhaps we'll get some answers when they're better, but that would be if they get better." The doors to the building were thrown open, on the other side stood Princess Celestia. She moved silently among the ponies, barely making a sound before she gazed through the one-way mirror. "My faithful student," she sighed, a single tear hitting the floor. On the other side of the mirror, Twilight and Pinkie Pie lay together, oblivious to the world around them. Neither of them cared. All they wanted was was each other. "I love you, Twilight." Pinkie Pie whispered into Twilight's ear. "I love you too, Pinkie Pie," Twilight whispered back, pushing back a lock of Pinkie Pie's curly mane and admiring the stitches on her head. The experiment was a complete success. > Special Edition LP Record (All tracks) > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- A Midnight Legends Press Production By: Your Antagonist(VegaKS03) & Starwind Dood Enabling Tape 1:Side A Begin         I have a secret, one that I've kept locked up inside my heart for a long time: I'm in love. The pony that stole my heart? Her name is Twilight Sparkle. It comes as a surprise to me too, my little crush. I'm the party pony of Ponyville, and she's the serious student of Celestia. We're so different, but maybe that's what I need: a pony to balance me. I don't know how she feels about me, so please, wish me luck as I pour my heart and soul into my confession of love. Go get her, Pinkie Pie!         I could see the library in the distance. No, not just any library, her library. It took every fiber of my being to resist the urge to run away and beat myself up over my lack of confidence as I drowned my misery with a torrent of pies and candy. No, not today, not again. I steeled my resolve, forcing myself a little closer. I’m going to get farther than last time! I’m actually going to touch her door this time... no, I’m going to knock on it and I’m going to talk to her! That confidence, as usual, was going to find that it had a very short lifespan. My breath shortened, and I found myself swallowing hard as I raised a nervous hoof to the door. I can do this, I can do this,  I can... I... I... can’t... With a sigh, I lowered my hoof and head, ashamed that I couldn’t even touch her door this time. I bet even Fluttershy could make it further than I did, I’m just— “Hey, Pinkie Pie! How’re you doing?” The sudden outburst from behind made me jump. In my startled state, I whirled around quickly, my heart pounding in my ears, to face— nopony...  I looked left and right, and even up, but there was nopony there. Maybe I’m hearing things. “Down here, Pinkie. What’re you doin’ outside our door? Did you come to see Twilight?” It was Spike, probably out on an errand for Twilight. In my addled state, all I could think to do was lie and hope that he’d buy it. “Nope! Just passing by! I was looking for some... uhh... vanilla truffles! Yeah, that’s it, I was looking for vanilla truffles... for Gummy!” I sold that lie with the toothiest grin I could muster, and Spike looked as though he was about to buy it like Ditzy Doo during the morning muffin sales at Sugarcube corner. “You’re looking for truffles... in a library?” Sugarsnaps! He catches on quick. “Of course not, Spike, you can be such a silly-willy, you know that?” “Uhh, right. Silly... willy... Anyway, I’m sure Twilight would be more than glad to see you, she’s been working tirelessly in that musty ole’ lab for the last week. Maybe seeing somepony else for a change would be good for her.” Uh-oh, that didn’t work like I thought it would. “Oh no, I couldn’t interrupt Twilight while she’s in the middle of her studies, I mean she’s so dedicated to her research, and books!" As I jabbered on, I began backing away slowly away from Spike as he moved closer, but I had forgotten the door was still behind me, and I tripped over the stoop, falling into the library head first, knocking over some books as I fell. “Owie... somepony should really clean up around here...” As I rubbed my achy head, I heard her voice, and my heart anxiously skipped a beat. “Spike, is that you? Did you knock over another bookshelf? That’s the third time this week, you really need to be more careful.” As Twilight trotted into the room, my eyes were drawn to her, my breathing becoming shallow as I drank in her image. And what an image it is...  uh... quick, say something! Say something! “Say, Twilight, when did you learn to walk on ceilings? That must’ve been a really difficult spell to learn!” Smooth, Pinkie, real smooth... Twilight shook her head and sighed at me. “Pinkie, I’m not standing on the ceiling, you fell and landed on your back. What did you come around here for, anyway?” “Oh yeah, Twilight, I saw Pinkie hanging around outside, said she was looking for truffles or something.” Twilight turned to me. “Truffles? In a library?” With a sigh, I shook my head and admitted the truth. “Twilight, I wasn’t looking for truffles, I needed to tell you something, but I was too afraid to do it.” “Well, you’ve got me here right now, so what’s up?” Spike piped up, “Yeah, Pinkie, what was so important that you—” Twilight rolled her eyes as she effortlessly pushed Spike to the side and he began to protest, “Hey! I want to know too!” “Spike, this conversation is between Pinkie Pie and myself, why don’t you go in the back room and check on my mixtures for me? Please?” Spike crossed his arms and began grumbling and mumbling under his breath as he marched away towards the back room. “And don’t touch anything either, just check the readings!” Twilight called behind her before returning her attention to me.  “So, Pinkie Pie, what was it that you wanted to talk to me about? I don’t mean to rush you, but I don’t have a lot of time to chat today.” My eyes darted around the library from book to book as I averted eye contact with the mare of my dreams, standing right before me. Perhaps maybe one of the books in here held the words I was too nervous to say, but Twilight was looking impatient and ready to throw me out if I didn’t say something fast, so I did what anypony would do in my situation: I spat gibberish. “I’m sorry Twilight, I just... umm... I really...heart...” Come on, me, I can do this! It’s just a few simple words. I fixed my eyes intensely on Twilight’s, and she took note of this immediately, her scowl softening slightly, and her eyes widening in anticipation. “Twilight, I...”  come on me, this is your, errr, my moment! seize it! Reach for the chocolaty heavens! Here I go! I shut my eyes tight and let loose with both barrels. “For the longest time I’ve had this really big cr—" "Whoa, Twilight?" Dang it, Spike, "Something weird is happening with your freaky chemistry set! It’s all bubbly and junk, you’d better take a look at th-WHOA!” Right after Spike yelled, a loud explosion rocked the library. "Spike!?" Twilight called out in concern. “Look, Pinkie, I’m really busy right now, and I think Spike might need some medical attention, but I suppose we could hang out next week.” No! I have to tell her now, while I’ve still got my nerve! Twilight began to shut the door on me, but, without thinking, I stuck my hoof in the door abrasively, once again taking her off guard. “Pinkie, what are you doing?” Well, I’ve got my hoof in the door, I may as well take advantage of it. “Like I said, I have something I really, really, really need to tell you, Twilight. Will you please listen to me?”   “My scales! I think that burned off all of my scales! Wait a minute... my scales are still here but... Twilight come quick, something’s wrong!” I watched as Twilight bit her lip nervously and looked back and forth at me then at the room Spike was in before she finally gave up. “Fine! Just close the door behind you, and don’t touch anything in the next room!” Yes! I thought to myself, shutting the door behind me with my left hindleg before following Twilight into her back room. Twilight gasped as she frantically galloped through the room, towards a pink lump on the floor surrounded by books and broken glass. “Spike, what happened in here? I thought I told you not to touch anything!” That’s Spike? Holy moley he looks like a dragon shaped wad of bubble gum! Spike coughed weakly before speaking again. “Ughhh... the jar with red liquid... started sparking... there was an explosion... pink scales...” As I trotted towards the two, Twilight grew tense and scowled at me as she levitated Spike on her back. It was almost as if she thought this was my fault! But, just as quickly as the scowl came, it disappeared, sinking off her face as she trotted towards the door and past me. “Twilight, wait!” “There’s no time, Pinkie, I have to get Spike to a hospital, and now I’ve been set back on my research. A whole three days worth of progress, gone!” Twilight lifted a hoof to her face and began rubbing her temples, I couldn’t bear to see the pony of my dreams so stressed out. “But I...” “What, Pinkie? What do you need to tell me that is so important? Please indulge me while I move my potentially injured baby dragon to a hospital that probably can’t even help him anyway, as I fall even further back on my work schedule for Princess Luna! What do you want?!” “I... I just wanted to tell you that I really, really like you, Twilight... I didn’t mean for any of this to happen...” “Whatever, Pinkie, just go away. I think you’ve bothered me enough for today.” She just turned away from me, and wordlessly trotted out of the library, not even bothering to lock up behind her. “I just... I just... I wanted to...” Oh no, it’s that first gasp, I need to laugh, I need to smile, I... I... Something wet hit my hoof, and I looked down and saw a small puddle forming from droplets of water. I saw another, and another. Soon, after my eyes became too clouded to see anything else, I realized what was happening, and I didn’t like it. Sure I’ve cried a few times, but those were over trivial things like when the twins were driving me crazy, or when I couldn’t find Gummy one afternoon and he was just napping in my bathtub. But these tears? They stung and burned. They were nothing like those other little temper tantrums. This was my first time dealing with heartbreak, and after years of hiding my emotions behind a smile, no matter how bad things got or how serious the situation, my mask broke, and the pieces all came spilling out on the floor of the library in the form of tears. I stood up through my blurred vision, hot tears streaming down my cheeks, and galloped as fast as I could out of the library, trying my hardest not bawl as I hit the crowded street. I didn’t want to run into anypony I knew right now. I just wanted to go back to my room and cry. Nopony stopped me, and the bakery was empty when I entered. Mr & Mrs. Cake must’ve taken the twins out, but I didn’t care. I just galloped up the stairs to my room, grabbed Gummy off my bed and held him close to me as I wailed. Why did she blame me for what happened, it wasn’t even my fault! “It wasn’t my fault, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Twilight! I didn’t mean anything! I just wanted to tell you how I feel and... and...” “Eet vasn’t your fault dear.” That voice... oh no... “Yeah, it was dat poiple luzah’s negligence, not youse.” No, stop please... they’re all in your head Pinkie, they’re all in your head. “You’re not real! You’re not real!” I shouted at the top of my lungs, clasping my hooves to my ears, in a vain attempt to drown out the voices “Honestly, darling, how can you even think it was your fault? On top of that she rejected your feelings without a second thought, how rude of her.” “Shut up, you’re not real, and you don’t understand!” I cried it at the top of my lungs, I was not about to go through this twice in my life. “Don’t understand what, Pinkie? That she blamed you for something that was clearly her fault? That she yelled at you when you tried to tell her you love her? That she scoffed at your confession? That she made you cry? What don’t we understand, Pinkie?” Through tear-stained eyes, I tried to fight the voices, to tell them they're wrong. “You don’t... you...” I couldn’t do it. They were right, after all... I didn’t want to give in to them, but they were absolutely right. “Come 'ere Pinkie. Come 'ere; and geeve us back our bodies, and we shall help you get vat you desire.” “I... I...” As if it were reacting to my emotions and confusion, a strand of my hair fell in font of my face obscuring my vision. “Come on, ya got nothin’ ta lose, but ya’ve got a love interest ta gain.” As the voice spoke to me, I felt another tuft of my hair fall. My eyes drifted to the wardrobe next to my bed; that’s where I kept them, but did I really need them right now?                  “Let us out, Pinkie, we know how to make her accept your feelings.” “You...do?” My resolve was beginning to weaken, and I began trotting towards the wardrobe. More and more strands of my mane collapsed to join the others that fell straight, but I paid no notice to it as I drew nearer towards the voices. “Yes, you von’t be disappointed, we’ll make her fall for you yet.” I stood inches way from the wardrobe, heart pounding in my chest as I extended a hoof and flipped the handle down, unlocking it, and almost all at once my mane collapsed completely.  I swallowed hard as I pulled the door open, gazing inside, and there they were: Madame le Flour, Rocky, Sir Lintsalot, and Mr. Turnip. “Hello Pinkie, its been a while,” said Mr. Turnip. Sir Lintsalot spoke next “Yes, you should really come to visit more, darling.” “I’m sorry, I’ve just been so—” “No need ta apolagize ta us, we just wancha ta be happy.” “Thanks, Rocky, you guys are the best friends a pony could ever ask for.” “Zat ees enough chit-chat, eet ees time to ‘elp you aquire zee pony of your dreams, ees eet not?” “But how, Madame le Flour?” “You just leave da thinkin’ ta us,” Rocky said reassuringly. “All right, I trust you guys...” I stood outside the library as the evening sun began to set, the clouds in the distance ablaze as it made way for Luna’s moon to grace the sky. “Are you sure about this, Madame le Flour? I don’t think doing this will make Twilight accept my feelings...” “Mon cheri, look at your Madame.” I shifted eyes s they rested on Madame le Flour, and she returned the gaze ten-fold.  “I vant to see you succeed! I know eet seems a little bit backwards, but trust me, I ‘ave seduced many a male in my life time. With thees, you will ‘ave her attentions in no time.” I didn’t question who exactly would be seduced by a sack of flour, instead I nodded in compliance and pushed open the door to the library, since it was still unlocked. I glanced around the main room of the library nervously scanning high and low for any sign that Twilight had come home; she had not. With a sigh, I trotted to the backroom, hesitantly pushing open the door to reveal the cataclysmic mess from earlier illuminated by the eerie green glow of some strange scientific instrument I couldn't possibly understanding. Even in the dim green lighting, I could tell that nothing had changed: the same books lay scattered across the floor, and the same broken glass instruments lay on the floor in pieces. I made my way to some of the papers on the floor that were attached to a clipboard. I picked them up and held them up to the green light to see if I could make out anything on the paper. “Do eet, Pinkie. Show me how much you love zis Twilight.” I nodded to Madame le Flour, and tore the papers with my mouth. Hey that felt...good... I trotted over to some of the fallen instruments that were still intact from the explosion earlier. I reared up on my hind legs and drove my hooves into the beakers, feeling them crack and break under my weight in a small explosion of glass shards. “Hehe...” Why am I laughing, this is going to make Twilight sad, but even still I... I think I’m enjoying this.... There were still some more glass beakers and papers on the table. Those would look better on the floor! With a sweep of my hoof I sent everything crashing to floor, and I couldn’t contain the wicked grin that began to play across my lips as the sound of broken glass serenaded my ears like one of Fluttershy’s song bird chorus rehearsals.  “Hehehe, Hahaha!!” This was simply... fun! I hadn’t had this much fun since the my last birthday party! I ran over to one of the still upright bookcases, and bucked it down, stomping on it until I broke it into pieces. “MUHAHAHA! I’ll make you love me yet, Twilight!” I hope she thinks of me when she sees all of this. That night, I destroyed everything in Twilight’s lab. Tape 1: Side B Begin     I sighed, turning between Spike and Zecora. "Thank you so much, Zecora, I have no idea what I would have done if you weren't here." I turned to the little bundle of... well whatever Spike was a bundle of and hoped to Celestia he was okay under all that... whatever.     "It is of little trouble, my friend Twilight. I can have your dragon back you by tomorrow night." She's always surprising me with that consistent rhyming habit of hers.     I returned home, hoping to get off my hooves and relax for a moment. At least until I had to resume my research for Princess Luna. Admittedly, it's pretty hard to relax knowing that Spike is going through Celestia knows what, but I wasn't going to get anywhere stressing myself out. Perhaps I could relax after a bite to eat, an oat smoothie sounds wonderful. My mind wandered back to what Pinkie Pie was trying to tell me earlier. In my panic, I didn't quite hear what she said. I should apologize. Maybe even share a smoothie. I could feel the blood rush to my face as I thought a little further about the implications of that idea. Although, I bet she wouldn't mind...         I wandered into my lab, looking for my bit-purse. "Wah! Oof!" I slipped? On what? Shaking my head, I recovered only to find that my lab was a wreck. "What the— Everything's been destroyed! What happened here?!" Nopony answered me, but I wasn't expecting anypony to. Did a thief break in? This is supposed to be a top-secret project. Foreign spies? I've been hanging around Rainbow Dash too long.     I began rummaging through the mess of broken glass and torn-out wires, and stumbled across my first, and possibly only, clue: a pink strand of curly hair. Pinkie!? What? Why did she go and break all of my instruments?! Nothing about her had ever made sense, but this was downright mean. "Pinkie," I yelled, "if you're still here, you have some serious explaining to do!" Of course, nopony answered. "Fine, just fine. I still have some backup tools in the closet. I'll just use those."         Hauling out the extra monitors and apparatuses was an exhausting process. They were old, outdated even, but they were still better than nothing. Why would you do this, Pinkie? I tried not to dwell on the issue; I still have my project to deal with, and I'm very behind now. I plugged in the instruments, ready to get back to my research, only to turn around get a face full of some white sticky substance. Frosting? I wiped most of the stuff off my face, only find that my back-up equipment had exploded with frosting. "Pinkie!" Still no answer. Why is she doing this?         "Great, now I'm a mess and out of tools. I could send a letter to Princess Luna, but Spike is out of commission." My eyes narrowed on the now frosting-covered machine, my forehead wrinkling as my shoulders clenched together. "Stupid... dumb... thingy!" Grind, grind, grind. I found myself grinding my teeth, a very bad habit of mine that only came out when I was really stressed. I decided to let my anger out on the closest thing available, the broken machine, and gave it the strongest buck I could muster. As my hoof made contact with the apparatus, I quickly learned that my strongest is still pretty weak, as a jolt of pain shot through my hoof  "Ow, ow, ow, ow!" I yelped, hopping  backwards, holding onto one of my back hooves as I tried to maintain balance with the other, when something caught me around my ankle and hoisted me into the air, the world flipping upside-down on me. I looked up and found myself hanging from the ceiling by some rope. "What the hay is going on!" I yelled out as loud as I could,  cursing at the pony doing this. "Pinkie! Come out here and untie me this instant!" I folded my forelegs, glaring at some wall that I expected her to pop out from any moment now, probably with some annoyingly goofy smile and an alliterative quip. Any moment now. One minute. Two minutes. Three minutes. Four Minutes. Five minutes passed, and Pinkie Pie still didn't show. I must have looked silly now, hanging from the ceiling and staring angrily angry at a wall. I sighed, and focused my magic on a piece of glass just underneath my head. After establishing a connection with it, I levitated it towards the rope, utilizing a sawing motion to get through the slender cord, and completely forgotten gravity in the interest of freedom. The fall was swift, and fortunately my back took the o*brunt of the impact, but I still hit my head against some of the junk sprawled along the floor.  "Owwww..." Although my head was aching worse than my hooves now. I didn't immediately stand up. I just laid there, trying to take in everything, surrounded by this pink-born mess of a lab. "Piiiinkiiiieeee..." Where is she? Where is she?! I pulled myself back up, my back hooves still aching. My eyes darted from wall to wall, searching for any sudden movements and anything out of place. A shadow played across my vision, "Gotcha!" I yelled out as I projected my magic at something. From the remains of a decrepit newspaper scrap, I dragged out a single white mouse. It stared at me with its condescending beady black eyes, hovering no more than a foot from my face. "Where is she!?" "Who?" the mouse spat back at me, smugly. "Pinkie Pie! Where is Pinkie Pie?!" I began to focus my magic around it's little throat, feeling every pull of muscle and pitiful attempt to resist the little mouse could muster. It was positively shrieking at me with its high-pitched shrill, it's nasty teeth visible under its bloating smile. "Who?" It's laughing at me! My magic closes in a little more around it's fragile and weak neck. It would be too easy to crush it now, less then a second, and faster than the blink of an eye. Or would that be to easy? It squirmed and writhed in pain as I tightened my magical grip more and more, but that smile never faded. It was still laughing at me, daring me further and further. IT WANTS ME TOO! "One last time. Where is Pinkie Pie?" "Who?" CRACK I felt it, the cold snap of it's neck. It's body became limp, my stomach turning as I felt it's lifeless body sway within my aura of magic, my pupils shrinking to dots as I stared into it's milky white eyes. I... I killed it. I dropped it, letting it fall to the floor, and I stared at it. My thoughts turned immediately to trying to revive it, but every unicorn was taught t never attempt such an act when they first enroll at Celestia's school. I don't think I've ever used my magic to kill something, not even a fly. I lay down, my mouth running dry, as I tried to turn away from the feeble body. I feel... wrong. "Who?" "Agh!" I zapped the talking corpse with a bolt of magic, my body breaking out into a cold sweat. It did talk... right? Owlicious flew out from behind me and snapped up the dead mouse. He gobbled it up, whole. "Owlicious, do you think you can do that somewhere else," I begged, my voice cracking under the pressure. "Who?" "Of... of course..." I spent the next hour trying to clean my destroyed lab, something that wouldn't have been too difficult if it wasn't for my constant fear of triggering another trap. Every time I stepped on something I would squeal and leap back, stepping on something else in the process. This process would repeat itself often. Why is she doing this? My mind was beginning to feel numb from the constant worrying. I kept expecting something to happen, but nothing would and I would be left shaking in a corner, my gaze darting from one end of the room to another. Can't I just let myself relax? Knock knock knock "Agh!" I nearly jumped through the roof at the sudden knocking. Who could that be? Pinkie? I abandon the mess, dragging myself to the front door. Every step makes me feel worse, pain bouncing from one point of my body to another, but I still made it to the front door and answered it. "Fluttershy? What are you doing here?" "Oh good, you’re home. Well, you see, one of the mice in my care, Whisky, is missing, and, according to his little mouse friends, he was last seen scurrying here." My heart dropped into the pit of my stomach and my blood turned into ice. My mind ran from one point to another, almost reliving that cold moment when I... don't really want to think about it. "I-I'm sorry, Fluttershy, but I haven't seen your mouse friend." Now I'm lying to my friend? I can barely stand to look at her, or else my guilt might show. "Are you sure, Twilight?" she asked me with those big glossy eyes that I found difficult to lie to. Difficult, but not impossible. "S-sorry, but I haven't seen any mice." Another lie. "Are you... are you okay, Twilight?" "I'm fine!" And another lie. The thought of Fluttershy finding out that I killed her mouse made me want to run as far away as possible, even to the moon if I could. She just staring at me with her big doe eyes that were so innocent that I felt adjudicated. "I'm sorry, but I really need to get back to something." "Oh, I'm sorry, then." I felt an odd sense of solace pass over me as Fluttershy turned away, a relief that was briefly batted away when she turned back to me. "By the way, Twilight,your mane is... a mess... I'm sorry." She flew off, as fast as her wings would let her. I closed the door and rested my back against it. I slid down to the floor, feeling tears begin to well up in my eyes. "I'm sorry, Fluttershy," I moan into the air as my emotions began to pour out the library floor. I cried silently to myself, curled up in a ball as I recalled every excruciating second of my paranoia fueled interrogation of that mouse, almost vomiting when I recalled the way it felt when its little neck snapped. What am I going to tell her later? That I lied to her is bad enough. A small pool began to form under my face. Trembling, I rose to my hooves and wiped away the last few tears clinging to my face and look up at the fringes of my mane. Like Fluttershy said, the ends were beginning to split. Shoot, I sigh as I haul myself up to the bathroom. I dragged myself in-front the mirror, the sight that awaits me is worse than I could have imagined; my mane is untidy, pointing off in different directions, and even a little greasy, and the bits of frosting were beginning to harden, making these white clumps all over my face and body. "I really need a bath."I turn to my tub and open the hot water. With the tub completely full, I lowered my battered and aching body into it, letting the hot water do it's work. "This feels... odd." I looked down at the tub of water, or what I thought was water. Against my better judgement, I tasted it. "Soda? Why is there— PINKIE!" I only knew one pony capable of such ludicrous feats. I forgot my pain in a moment of anger, yelling out again. "Pinkie! I've had it up to here with all this!" I hastily jumped out of the tub, slipping and landing on my head... again. Like before, I decided to lay there, a decision I ended up regretting when I finally did pull myself up. I detested the sticky sensation all around me, how it made my fur cling to my skin, how it made movement feel sluggish, how it left a few hairs on the floor. A quick look at the mirror revealed that I looked even worse than before. "That's it. You want to play, Pinkie! We're playing!" Ha ha ha! My heart froze for a moment.At first, I turned my head, slowly, trying to discern the direction the laugh came from. I found no sign of Pinkie Pie. It looked like I was alone in this house. I sigh, lowering my head into the empty sink, clenching my teeth. I squeeze my eyes shut, trying to clam my mind, and failing. "I heard that!" I finally shouted. "I know you're here, Pinkie!" Grind, grind, grind.     Outside, the sun was setting, and the weather pegasi were moving storm clouds into position for a monstrous thunderstorm, a flash or two entering through the windows with a loud CRACK! The perfect setting for Pinkie hunting! I giggled to myself as my head buzzed with epiphanies for various tricks and traps I could lay to capture her. I scoured through the library, keeping my head lowered towards the ground, whispering, "Come out, come out, wherever you are, Pinkie Pie."         Ha ha ha!     "She's in the walls!" I slammed myself into the closest wall, expecting it to give way and that I would find myself in some secret alcove carved out and inhabited by Pinkie. Instead, It doesn't, and all I managed to accomplish was hurting myself even more. "Just a minor set-back," I groan.         I slinked back into my basement laboratory, thinking that I could start there. The lab I had cleaned just a few hours ago is a mess again. The. Same. Exact. Mess. "Do you think you're clever, Pinkie!" No response. I extended an aura of magic to the closest bauble, expecting to pick it right up and begin my organized sweep again, but it remained adamant and unmoving. After kicking it, I discovered that it was glued into place. Everything is glued into place! My eyes narrowed as I scanned from one corner to another, my eye began twitching as I examined every inch of it. "Whose hooves did you use for this one, Pinkie Pie!"         Ha ha ha!         Again, she's laughing at me. I left the mess behind as I returned to the main library. All that's probably waiting for me there is more traps. Well I wont fall for it!         CRACK!     "Pinkie!" I turned around, catching her shadow just escaping the corner of my eye. "Pinkie Pie, I found you!" I sing, skipping into the library's back room. "Pinkie!" I yelled into the empty room. Grind, grind, grind. NO! SHE'S IN HERE! I jumped into the room, lighting up every corner with my horn.         SLAM!     "Pinkie!" I turned around, ready to jump at the next thing that moved. The door had slammed shut. "Drats, just missed her." I hung my head low again, taking in a few deep breaths to calm myself down  little. Just keep going, Twilight. You'll catch her. I trotted up to the door, only to find a picture of myself, eating Pinkie Pie's face in the crudest crayon art I had ever seen in my life. "I've seen better art from a two-year old, Pinkie!" I ripped down the crude drawing and tore it to shreds.         I tried to open the door, but It was locked. More games, with another trap waiting for me on the other side if I tried to force myself through. "You must have thought that was pretty clever, but I'm not falling for it, Pinkie!" I winked through the door, magically appearing on the other side and back in the main room of the library. "Bet you didn't take that into account, huh, Pinkie!" I looked back over the top of the locked door, and just as I thought, a bucket was tied above the door. "Oh Pinkie, don't think you can outsmart me." I smirked as I gave the bucket a quick tug with my magic. The next moment, I was covered in a brown and warm substance, completely covering my fur and face. I had fallen for yet another trap. I stick my tongue out and taste the brown substance. "Chocolate syrup," I groan, taking a look at what was inside the bucket in the first place. "Strawberries and a note?"         My favourite treat.         I throw the bucket and strange message behind me. "Chocolate is going to rot out your teeth, Pinkie!" Grind, grind, grind. I must look like a mess: sweaty and sticky fur, messy and greasy mane, and now I have these white and brown clumps hardening over my body. What I would do for a decent bath right now.     Even though I knew that my bathroom had probably been bugged with all sorts of traps, I settled on dragging myself back up again, hoping that Pinkie hadn't messed with all of my soaps. Along the way, I noticed that Pinkie had taken the opportunity to redecorate my staircase, painting the whole thing pink and leaving a message on the wall.         Deeper, Twilight. Go deeper inside me.         She's not even trying! My eyes lingered on the writing that desecrated my wall, my anger growing in the pit of my stomach. Every single thing that has happened to me, she thought out in advance, running around my mind with a lasso around my neck, dragging me wherever she wanted. I screamed, as loud as I could, directing all my rage at the wall. I banged my forehooves against the message, not giving the slightest care to my accumulating pile of aches. "No! I won't go!" I yelled as another tear forms in my eyes. "I won't go and you can't make me!" I turned around, wanting to get further away.         Why not?         My breathing grew rapid as I read the message over and over again. Why not? "I don't want to!" I cried, feeling cornered. "Why are you doing this, Pinkie... PINKIE!" Which way am I supposed to go? Which way does she want me to go? I sat myself on the stare, turning away from the messages. Grind, grind, grind. I picked myself up, and started heading for the bathroom again. She wants me to go there, so I'll go there. I'll meet your trap and head on!     I bucked open the door of my bathroom, breaking the lock in the process. I wasn't going to let her lock me in again. I shine my used my unicorn-horn light to illuminate the room, and there she was, the illusive Pinkie Pie herself, laying in my tub. "PINKIE PIE!"         Ha ha ha!         It took a great amount of willpower to resist diving in head-first into the bathtub. This is definitely another trap. I extended my aura of magic to 'Pinkie Pie' and found I could lift 'her' with ease. It's just a cardboard cutout, on the back of which was another crudely drawn picture: myself taking a bath with Pinkie Pie. "I would love to take a bath with you, IF I HAD ANY WATER!" I ripped the drawing to bits and tore the cutout in half, taking out all my anger on the imitation. All that was left of it after a few minutes was it's head, staring at me with half-closed eyes and a peculiar smile. "You look funny," I spat at it before flinging it away. I looked up and found a net. Looks like I didn't fall for this one. I cautiously backed out of the bathroom, afraid that I might set off some back-up trap. I left the bathroom. She's close. I know she is!         Just a little longer...     I returned to my room, the most familiar room in the world to me, the one place where I might be able to out-anticipate Pinkie Pie. I gingerly nudged the door open, body aching from all the punishments it's been put through, but Pinkie Pie was still already ahead of me; my entire room had been redecorated. The walls were painted pink and lavender, each color distinct, but meeting in the middle of the room and mixing. More crude pictures were taped onto the walls, with a bust of myself sitting in the center of the room made out of a combination of bits of my mane, hoof clippings, bubble gum, a carrot for my horn, and my trimmed fetlock hair. Where did she even get those? I looked up, finding a message, spelled out with a collage of pictures made from my own scrapbooks. Pictures of myself through every stage of life, mixed together with pictures of Pinkie Pie, from what I could only assume was her own scrapbooks. I love you, it said. I tore down the collage with my magic, bits of pictures raining all over me. Grind, grind, grind. My blood rushed to my head as I sifted through the pictures. These were so precious to me. More tears stream down my face as I begin to pile the pictures in my forelegs, cradling them, hugging them gently. My mind returns to the message Pinkie Pie left for me. I love you? "What does that even mean, Pinkie... PINKIE!"         It means everything... Tape 2 Side A Begin Twilight, Twilight give me your answer do. I'm so crazy all for the love of you. My heart aches out for your smi-le pulled out so wide by a bridle, but with these tears and longing fears, I drown in my pitiful stew. I was in her walls now, watching her from every grating, every air vent, even behind the bookshelves; there was nowhere for my precious Twilight to run from me. I’d leave my hiding spot every now and then to leave a token of my feelings for her, and set up a few traps as well. I could tell from her infatuated screams that she was really enjoying this little ‘hard-to-get’ game I was playing, but it didn’t give me a lot of chances to actually see her. Even though I’d catch a glimpse of her every now and then, those instances were so few and far between. One such opportunity presented itself to me while I was hiding in a space behind one of her bookshelves, and without a second thought, I took it. I was able to hear her hoof-falls nearing closer to the shelf, but they began leading away at the last moment.There was a small hole in the back of the bookshelf wall, just large enough to fit a hoof through, and without another thought I pushed my foreleg through the gap, shoving a really thick book off the shelf it rested upon. As the book teetered over the edge, I could finally see my dream mare and did she ever look delicious: her horribly out-of-sorts mane and lavender-coat were covered in white frosting and dried chocolate, and those lovely bloodshot eyes looked like cherries on a Twilight Sparkle sundae. Mmm... Twilight Sundae, I wish I could savor the flavor. Hey, I made a rhyme! Hehehe! My thoughts were cut short as the book I pushed finally hit the ground with a loud “Whump!” I watched as Twilight jumped at the sound and backed herself into another bookshelf, shaking and jittery with her eyes darting around frantically. She looks so cute when she’s frightened, I just want to gobble her up! I watched Twilight as she stared at the book like it was a manticore, and I noticed that she had taken to grinding her teeth now, such an adorable habit. “PINKIE PIE, SHOW YOURSELF!” My heart stopped for moment as I listened to the cries of my beloved Twilight. She wants to see me? Madame le Flour was right! My heart fluttered as I listened for more of Twilight’s verbal longings. “Pinkie, please I just want to talk with you. Why are you doing this?” I almost became a marionette to my heartstrings as a sudden urge to jump out and squeeze her shot through my body. I wanted to reveal myself to her, to tell her why I was doing all of this, how I longed for her, how I needed her. No! Madame’s plan has gone perfectly so far. If I leave now, then everything could be wasted. I... must... resist... I had to go to her, I couldn’t bear to be apart from her for another moment. I was steadily losing all self-control, until a voice from the shadows brought me back to my senses. “Pinkie Pie, vat are you doing?” “Oh, Madame, I—" “If you move too quckly, zen you vill ruin everyzeeng!” “I’m sorry, Madame, I don’t know what came over me.” “Eet’s all right, Pinkie, now zen, come along dear, we ‘ave more traps to lay before we can begin phase two.” “Of course, Madame.” I followed Madame le Flour through the vents behind the bookshelf, and we headed to the second level of Twilight’s house again. We outfitted the upstairs with a few more tripwire pranks, my favorite of which was a pressure trigger on her bed that would release a bunch of balloons with my face on them. In fact, we replaced her whole mattress with one really big cake. I even left a life-sized Pinkie Pie doll as a present for her. Truth be told, I have a Twilight one back home. Sure it required a bunch of trips to Sugarcube Corner, but it would be worth it to see the look on her face. All was going fine on the upstairs level, until I heard some rustling from behind me. Has my beloved gotten the jump on me? I whipped around quickly, searching for Twilight and my next escape route, but there was only more rustling to be heard. “Who’s there? Show yourself?” “Who?” “I’m the one asking the questions! Who are you?!” I squinted my eyes around, trying to find whatever was tauning me. “Who?” “Rrrrrggg... I said—” “Pinkie, shut up, or you’ll give away our position!” “Oh! I’m sorry, Madame...” “Just do as you’re told. Now look up, vat do you zee?” I hadn’t noticed it before, but Twilight’s owl had been watching me the whole time. “Who,” It called. It’s mocking me? Well, I’ll soon fix that. I grabbed a fallen perfume bottle from the floor and hurled it as hard as I could at Owlicious. Clonk! I caught him right in the beak and he fell slowly towards the ground. “I’ve got plans for you, little birdy, hahaha.” Without another word, I grabbed the now unconscious Owlicious with my mouth, and pried open Twilight's bedroom door as quietly as possible—not wanting to alert her to my position—and crept into her bathroom. The tub was still full of soda from her last attempt to take a bath, so I opened the cabinet under her sink where I kept my extra instant pudding mix. Grabbing the mixture, I dumped it into the tub and watched in awe as it began to solidify. It was amusing how quickly the pudding manifested. "You won't open your beak now," I taunted as I buried the bird deep into the pudding mix. "Quite a sweet way to meet your end, don’t you think?" "Pinkie Pie," Madame Le Flour called to me, “Quit talking to yourself and let's go. You are lingering for far too long." “An jus’ where have youse two been?" Rocky reprimanded me as Madame le Flour and I dropped into Twilight's basement. "We been here the whole time waitin on yas!” “Oh hush, Rocky; you’ve been complaining ever since we arrived here, these things take patience you know: isn’t that right, Pinkie?” “Oh, yes Sir Lintsalot, in fact I—” “Pinkie dear, your Madame was preparing to speak, eet’s rude to interrupt someflour when zey are speaking, wouldn’t you agree?” “Oh, I’m sorry, Madame.” "Eet's all right." She brushed my mane with her corners, trying to calm me down, but my heart only ached for Twilight more. How much longer? How much longer ‘til I can be with her? I shuddered a little as I felt burlap rub against my skin. "There is still much to do. Rocky, ees everyzing ready?" "Yeah, yeah, bag lady. I got the stuff." Rocky pulled out a bucket of caramel, pushing it towards me with a gratified smile. "Wasn't easy to get this, ya know." "Yeah, I bet," I laughed weakly, picking it up with my mouth, but internally I was questioning how exactly a rock was able to procure a bucket of caramel. Have I really fallen this far off the deep end? Am I even holding a bucket? "Come, Pinkie Pie. Your forbidden fruit ees vaiting for you!" Madame le Flour gestured to me as she hopped back into the air vents. I followed after her, hauling the bucket with my teeth as Mr. Turnip, Sir Lintsalot and Rocky whispered between themselves. I couldn't make out what they were saying, and it scared me. I was able to spot her through the cracks of one of the gratings again. She was walking in circles now, whispering madly to herself. I could hear her whispering my name under her breaths. How I longed to be down there with her, burying my face in her candy-coated fur, but no. I was told by the others that this was how it was supposed to be. This was the only way I knew of to ascertain my one true desire: for Twilight to want me. Maybe then I wouldn't have to fear rejection. "Vat are you doing!?" Madame le Flour yelled at me, snapping me from my stupor. "I- I was just-" "Don't delude yourself vith excuses. You vant that mare, right? Zen zis ees the way. You must make her want you. Do you understand?!" "I... I understand." I lowered my head, pulling myself away from my heart's desire and returning to the plan. This is the only way. I kept telling myself this, over and over again, trying to find a fragment of truth in those words. We placed the bucket in the kitchen. It's the one place she hasn't been to, and the Twilight I know was never good at fighting an empty stomach. She must be starving and exhausted. She trotted slowly into the kitchen, her little whines, groans and moans like sugar to my ears. How I wanted to soothe those pains. How I wanted to taste those pains. "Twi-" "Shutup!" Madame le Flour yelled at me. "You cannot 'ave your forbidden fruit yet." I nodded and turned back to Twilight, watching with hunger as she gingerly pried off each of her cabinet doors, fidgeting each time as she suspected a trap to be released on her. A little smile stretched across her face after she had nearly demolished her kitchen, levitating a nearby can of daisies close to herself. I love that smile. If only she would smile at me, one way or another. She muttered to herself some more as she reached out to her fridge, probably looking for some condiments. I pulled the string on my trap, and my precious Twilight was showered in a golden fall of caramel. The smile on her face disappeared instantly. "THIS IS GETTING OLD, PINKIE!" She said my name again! That must mean she wants me! I was so happy when she said my name like that a few tears fell from my face. How much longer? Just how much longer? I watched Twilight fuss with the sticky mess, flailing her legs around madly before the sticky caramel snapped her back together, face in the floor and plot wiggling in the air. She's just so adorable! I followed Madame le Flour back into the basement. Mr. Turnip, Sir Lintsalot and Rocky were still enveloped in their quiet whispering, becoming even quieter as I trotted up close. Madame le Flour took her place among the four, and it was back to planning. Planning how we would brush Twilight in just the right way; how we would get her to call out my name. Of course, I'm never allowed to touch her, and I wanted to touch her. I wanted to touch her so much, so I dared to open my mouth, to beg them that I could now be with her. "Uh, guys, do you think that-" "That what?!" Rocky interrupted me. "That you can have your precious Twilight now?" "Yes. She has to want me by now, right? She's been screaming my name all night." "But what if isn't enough!" Mr.Turnip advanced on me, making me feel small. "She might never return your feelings, you know, and then what? This just might be the best thing you get!" "No," I cried back, "Twilight will return them! She... she..." "She might not even like mares." Sir Lintsalot scoffed. "You havn't even told anypony you swing that way. No, you're too embarrassed. You're pathetic." I began to cry on the floor. Why am I so mean to myself? I sniff, turning to Madame le Flour, the grand matriarch of this gang of my fragmented psyche. "Please, please let me see her." "No." She slapped me. She slapped me so hard and I fell back on the ground. My mind registered that she slapped me. It registered the searing pain across my cheek and across my mind. The world was collapsing around me as I stared back at the four of them, once again gathering together in some hush-hush game. A game that my sanity was bound to as long as I gave them free reign. “Now as I vas saying before I was rudely interrupted—” “No...” “Pinkie Pie, vat did we just talk abou—” “No more of this, I’m not taking orders from you any longer. I want to be with Twilight!.” “Pinkie darling, please think about what you’re saying, you need us to win Twilight over. don’t you?” “No! I’m sick of sneaking around, I’m sick of not being able to see her, and I’m sick of taking orders from you!” “Pinkie, if ya know what’s good for youse, then you’ll—Auuugh!” I turned around, with my hindegs raised as I bucked Rocky into pieces. I trotted up to his broken body and found his head, as I stared down at his horrified expression that had forever burned itself into my memory. Without any further hesitation, I raised a hoof and brought it down as hard as I could, chipping off a fragment of the rock. I squealed in delight as I stomped on the fallen pieces of his body, indulging myself on Rocky’s agonized screams until he was reduced to nothing but a pile of mere pebbles and dirt splayed out across the floor in a dusty mess. “Guess you were just a big, dumb, dirt clod then, weren’t you?” I looked over and drank in the appalled faces of the others as they screamed helplessly—knowing that they were next—and if I might say myself, Rocky was the lucky one—having died first and all. “P-P-Pinkie Pie, darling, w-what are you doing?” I felt my lips curl into a smile so wide that I was certain Sir Lintslot could see all my teeth as I inched closer and closer to him. “So glad you asked, Sir Lintsalot.” I grabbed a lit candle off of the table and inched the flame closer to Sir Lintsalot, allowing it to touch him momentarily before quickly moving it away. "Oh, please, Pinkie! We only had your best interests at heart!" he cried, and even begged for mercy as I held the candle a little closer each time. "Funny, I have my best interests at heart too." I repeated this process a few more times, feasting on his magnificent screams, but I eventually grew tired of the charade, thrusting the candle into him once and for all, igniting him and spurning another chorus of anguished shrieks. I casted my Gaze upon Mr. Turnip, his pathetic and sniveling screams growing ever louder as I approached with Sir Lintsalot still burning away on the candle. "Please don’t do this Pinkie, I... I’m sorry, it was all Madame le Flour’s idea, the rest of us just went along with it. Please, show some mercy." He was so pathetic. I guess he always was the weakest of the four, never an original thought in his turnip-shaped head. I could feel his heart-beat growing rapid as I hoisted his head into the air, swinging him back and forth like he was nothing. "I won't let you get in the way of me and Twilight anymore." I inched him closer and closer to my face. "Please, Pinkie!" I bit down on Mr. Turnip with a very audible "CHOMP!" I have to admit, I never knew turnips could be so good. Of course, Mr. Turnip just screamed in pain as I gratified myself with another mouthful of his flesh. "Mmmmh... juicy." "Bitch!" he yelled back at me. "You're nothing! Nothing! Just a crazy bitch that's going to lose her head for what? Some loser librarian!" "Don't you dare insult her," I snapped back darkly, staring Mr. Turnip right in the eye, or at least where I think his eyes were. "You don't know her!" I yelled back, spitting bits of his half-chewed flesh back at him. Mr. Turnip laughed back at me, even with half of his face bitten off he managed to mock me, his life in my hooves. I hated it. "But I know everything about her, Pinkie Pie! I know everything about her and I know everything about you." Tough talk for a bucket of turnips. "Shut up." I slowly drove my teeth into Mr. Turnip again, enjoying every second of his pitiful screaming. His wails alternated between hysteric laughter and screams of pain as I dropped him back in his rusty little bucket. I turned back to Sir Lintsalot, still burning on the candle, picked him up, and dropped him in Mr Turnip’s bucket it only took a moment for him to catch fire. I was in control again, and it felt absolutely euphoric. I turned to face Madame le Flour now, even in the face of her impending doom, she was as stout faced as ever. “Any last words, Madame?” “Hehehe.” I felt the smug grin I was wearing when I dealt with the other three slide right off my face into a frown. She’s... laughing... “What’s so funny, Madame, aren’t you afraid?” “Oh, Pinkie, hehehe, what is zere to fear? I’m not even real! You’ve allowed yourself to be pushed around by ze figments of your own imagination! By your own fears! Don’t you zee? I’m laughing at you! Ahahahaha! AHAHAHAHA!” I clenched my teeth so hard that I felt a piece of a tooth chip off. I hate being laughed at. “Stop laughing at me!” I cried out as I struck the sack of flour to the ground. “KYAHAHAHA!” “I said stop it!” I drove a hoof straight through Madame’s body hoping that would stop the laughter. “GYAHAHAHAHA! YOU’LL HAVE TO DO BETTER ZAN ZAT, MON CHERI!” “Shut up shut up shut up SHUT UP!” I reared up on both my hind legs and rained my hooves straight through her, releasing a cloud of flour into the air, and I didn’t stop pounding on her until the entire floor within four feet of me was covered in its and pieces of flour and burlap. “Not laughing anymore are you? Who’s laughing now, huh?” “KYHAHAHAHAHAHA!” The laughter was all around me now, emanating from every direction “W-what? How is that possible, I just killed you!” “You haven’t killed me! You’ve merely spread me further! I can’t die Pinkie, I’m in your head!“ “We’ll see about that Madame...” I turned my attention to Mr. Turnip, who had caught ablaze quite nicely at this point, and I decided on a way to end Madame le Flour once and for all. I trotted over to the bucked and seized the handle with my fore-hooves before turning back to face the spectral form of Madame le Flour for what I suspected would be the last time. “Madame, don’t bother coming into work tomorrow, or ever again for that matter...” “Vat are you talking about? You stupid filly I—” “Because you’re fired!” I thrusted the bucket of burning turnips upon the remains of Madame le Flour, and watched as she slowly ignited, burlap first, then the flour itself. It’s funny how quickly laughter can become an ear splitting shriek, especially when you’re the only one who can hear it to begin with. I had defeated them, and there in the basement I stood victorious, covered in flour and dirt, with a small fire spreading slowly behind me. I was filled with a sense of pride in my accomplishment. I had done it. I had freed myself from their control, and I was finally free to pursue my beloved Twilight unhindered, on my terms. I could feel myself fill with a new-found energy, filling me up to the point that I thought my mane would blow up and pop! I just wanted Twilight. Even with all the doubt that still lurked in my heart, all I could think about was Twilight. Twilight, just wait a little longer. I'm coming to see you. I want to be with you! Twilight! Without bothering to look back at the remains of the Madame or her lackeys, I slunk back into the vents and crawled about until I found Twilight in her room. The pink balloons along the floor, the popped doll of my likeness, and Twilight’s cake-covered backside told me that another one of my brilliant pranks had gone off without a hitch. “PINKIE PIE! I have had it with all of this! I’m covered in cake, frosting, and chocolate syrup, and I can’t even take a bath because you’ve wrecked my plumbing! How am I supposed to get clean? HOW!?” I don’t know what came over me, but I wasn’t afraid to tell Twilight what was on my mind, so I let loose with both barrels,“I could lick you clean, hehehe.” I watched as Twilight jumped backwards and began shuddering in corner, grinding her teeth, and searching around with her adorably bloodshot eyes. She looks like she could use some cheering up... I’ve got it! “Hey Twilight, guess what? I wrote you a song! Wanna hear it?" "What are you going on about, Pinkie!" "The itsy bisty Pinkie Pie is crawling all about—” “No! Just leave me alone, Pinkie! Why are you doing this?” “It’s like music to my ears when I hear you scream and shout—” “Please... please just stop it, I thought we were friends...” “From the merging of our hearts we’ll share each other’s pain—“ “I’m... I’m sorry, Pinkie... I don’t know what I did, but I’m sorry...” “Then we’ll sew our fates together with hairs from our mane.” I watched Twilight as she began crying, clearly moved by my song. It made me so happy to see her. Soon we’ll be together forever, my sweet. Hehehe. Tape2 Side B Begin         I screamed, as loud as I could, calling any would-be listeners, but there were none. The only pony listening was her: Pinkie Pie. I laid in my confectionery mess of a bed for a moment, just trying to make sense of it all. I just wanted to lie down for a moment, but I guess Pinkie Pie wouldn't even let me have that. Grind, grind, grind. Of course, none of Pinkie Pie's traps have ever been that simple, and a volley of balloons fell on me, each and every one of them carrying her likeness. I took a deep-breath, thinking that it just might calm me down if only a little. It didn't, and I rammed my horn into each of Pinkie's faces. Pop, pop, pop. "Hah!" I pulled myself off the bed of cake and felt something cling to me. I looked over and  jumped, finding Pinkie Pie, grinning at me with an uncharacteristically innocent look stitched on her face. "Pinkie!" I yelled, my voice betraying my panicked state. I pried her off, suspending her in the air with my magic. She hung there limp and lifeless, causing my mind to return to this afternoon when I had... "No," I whimpered, dropping Pinkie  to the floor. I backed away, trying to keep another round of tears from pouring forth. It wasn't Pinkie Pie, but a life-sized doll of her. "Pinkie Pie... PINKIE PIE!" I yelled out her name as loud as I could, just trying to vent my frustration. "I have had it with all of this! I’m covered in cake, frosting, caramel, and chocolate syrup, and I can’t even take a bath because you’ve wrecked my plumbing! How am I supposed to get clean? HOW!?” I didn't expect her to answer back. I expected more of this unnerving silence, or maybe even an inviting giggle, so I nearly jumped out of my fur when she did answer me. “I could lick you clean, hehehe.” Her voice echoed throughout the room, hitting me from every directions. I started crawling backwards, hitting the wall behind me. I wanted to run away from this merry-go-round of suffering Pinkie was putting me through, but I felt too trapped to so much as move. I gasped for air, feeling my heart in my chest beating away, scared for the next fright, but I was also growing angry and upset. I was also tired, so very tired. Where is she? WHERE IS SHE! My gaze darted from one corner of the room to another, trying to find the source of that voice. Grind, grind, grind. “Hey Twilight, guess what? I wrote you a song! Wanna hear it?" A song? "What are you going on about, Pinkie!" "The itsy bisty Pinkie Pie is crawling all about—” “No! Just leave me alone," I yelled back indignantly, feeling her poisonous words trying to drown me with dread. "Pinkie! Why are you doing this?” “It’s like music to my ears when I hear you scream and shout—” “Please... please just stop it, I thought we were friends...” I'm on my knees now, clasping my ears with my hooves. “From the merging of our hearts we’ll share each other’s pain—“ “I’m... I’m sorry, Pinkie... I don’t know what I did, but I’m sorry...” I felt like I would breakdown and start crying again. “Then we’ll sew our fates together with hairs from our mane.” Why, why is she doing this? All the stress that had been building up in me: the aches, the pains, the sores, the tears, the grinding. I let it all out on the floor as I began crying my eyes out. I wished Spike was with me, if only so I could hold onto him, tightly, and he would probably reply with some sarcastic quip that would make me feel better. No, I was here alone, with Pinkie Pie. With Pinkie Pie."PINKIE!" "Yes, Twilight! What is it! Tell me anything!" "Stop it!" I screamed. "Stop all of this!" "Then come and get me, Twilight!" Her voice was filled with this energy, this desire that sickened me. She wanted all of this. "Come, and jump into my hooves! Let me clean you, let me touch you, let me lick you! Twilight, I love you, Twilight!" Love, another term I never quite understood. Foreign to me, like friendship was. "These words that I've buried in my heart are everywhere and I don't know what to do anymore!" She kept going on and on, repeating the same thing, stammering on like a useless broken record. She sounded like some twisted wreck of a mare. She's lost it. That's the only explanation for her sudden shift in behaviour. "What are you getting at, Pinkie!" I yelled back in defiance. I was so tired of playing her games, why would I want to play more? "You know what, I'm done with this, Pinkie! I'm not moving! Do you hear me!" "Then I'll come get you, Twilight!" What? Those words of hers came out so strong, so predatory that it made me dizzy. "You'll... what?" I asked back, cautiously. "I want you, Twilight! So come and get me, Twilight! Or I'll get you, Twilight! One way or another we'll be together, Twilight! Hehehe, hahahaha!" Stop laughing, please. Her hoof-steps echoed throughout the treehouse, scurrying about frantically. It was painfully obvious now that she was in the ventilation system, but up till now she had been quiet. Now she was as noisy as ever. "I love you so much, I'm going to explode, Twilight! Hehehe, hahaha!" "Shut up!" I yelled back. She didn't answer me, but I could still hear hoofsteps echoing throughout the library. She was on the move, and hunting me down. I won't come easy, Pinkie. I had to get to work, and fast. I looked around my room anxious to find something I could defend myself with, but it dawned on me that Pinkie had already been here. She had been here and she had changed everything around, twisting it into her declaration of love. My entire home has been twisted into her image. "I'm coming for you, Twilight!" I ran out of the room, galloping frantically down to the main hall of the library. I had come to the conclusion that something was very wrong with Pinkie Pie, and whatever it was, she was calling it love. Research could be the only chance I had to save Pinkie Pie from whatever it was making her act this way. "Love, love, love." I ran from bookcase to bookcase, searching frantically for any books about love. And, of course, with Spike out of commission I can barely find anything! I should have expected I'd find nothing, but I kept looking anyway. Pinkie's loud hoofsteps and mad giggling kept me on edge for the slightest disturbances, but at long last I had found a book that might be able to save her, and me. It was at the top of one of the bookcases. I tried to pull at it with my magic, but it seemed to have been wedged in there. Dang it, come out! With one last hard tug, I pried the book out of the shelf, and with it, the bookcase came tumbling down on me. My head was aching, making it so difficult to think. Pull yourself together, Twilight. You have no idea what Pinkie will do if she catches you! I shoved the bookcase aside, feeling a terrible pain in one of my shoulders. Please let nothing be broken. I hung the book over me, Love and Brain Chemistry. "Love," I began reading, "Is the result of-"     "Dopamine, serotonin, and adrenaline in your brain, Twilight!" My eyes shrunk into dots and my breathing stopped. I moved the book aside, and there stood Pinkie. "High levels of neurotransmitter dopamine stimulates the desire emotion by triggering an intense rush of pleasure. It has the same effect on the brain as taking cocaine!" I backed away, dragging myself until I hit another bookcase, shaking down numerous tomes, many of which landed right on my head.         "Stay away!" I pleaded, feeling my heart trying to tear itself out of my chest.     "And serotonin is known to cause obsessive compulsive order, making the pony think about nothing except the pony she loves." I could have died of fright, looking down and finding little Pinkie Pie's inching out of the pages of the books, one by one, chanting off facts about brain chemistry. "Who are you thinking about now, Twilight?" they all asked me at once, climbing all over me, wiggling themselves into every one of my orifices. I felt sick. "Did you know that oxytocin makes lovers feel close, Twilight. Did you, Twilight, did you?"         "AAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" I screamed as loud as I could, trying to pull all the Pinkie Pie's out of my body. I scratched and bit and fought and struggled against the invasion of my body, but they were persistent. They would bite down on my tail as I tried to pull them out of my rear-end. "Get off me," I chanted. "Get off, get off, get off, get off!" "We love you, Twilight!" Little Pinkie Pies, crawling out of every nook and corner of my library, marching to me, each with a look of hunger in their eyes. "Let's eat each other, Twilight!" I was buried under a mountain of pink fur, threatened to be entirely submerged. This isn't real, I told myself. This can't be real! Wake up, Twilight, wake up! "NO!" I stood up, letting off a wave of magic that threw off the pink army. I looked around the room, eyes darting from corner to corner for any sign of Pinkie, but there were none. I was alone, surrounded by torn up books and broken bookshelves. "That was all a hallucination." I laughed. I felt so relieved, any my laughter was building on itself, becoming louder and louder as a few stray tears escaped to the floor. "It was all a hallucination!" "Having fun, Twilight?" Her again! "Pinkie Pie!" I yelled out. "I'm going to get you for all of this, Pinkie Pie!" "That's what I want, Twilight! Come and get me, Twilight. Fly to me, Twilight!" "Pinkie Pie!" I screamed so loud that my vision blurred for all of a moment. Grind, grind, grind. She's obsessed with me, so she'll come after me no matter what I do! That's all. Just need to wait, and plan, and wait, and prepare, and wait until I have her. Yes, that's all. Twilight, you're such a genius! The sound of Pinkie Pie clopping all throughout my house kept me alert,and ready. I quietly slipped into the kitchen, gingerly opening the drawers and liberating any spare utensils I still had. Oh yes, these will do nicely. So nicely! I scare myself sometimes with just how ingenius I can be. "Where are you, Twilight!" her voice echoed out of the vents, still carrying that venomous desire, but I snicker quietly to myself. "Twilight, talk to me, Twilight!" She's so much easier to deal with than I estimated, and I won't give her the attention she craves so easily. I stow the forks and spoons away in a saddlebag, and creep out of the kitchen. I needed to make preparations. I got to work in the main room of the library, using magic to weld together anything I had snagged in my sweep of the house. Soon, I had bars. Lots and lots of bars. I began attaching them slowly but surely, forming the cage I would use to catch Pinkie Pie at long last. My only source of comfort during this delicate process was Pinkie Pie's scurrying and the crashing of rain against my home. I'll have you soon, Pinkie Pie! The cage was done in just under an hour, and hoisted onto the ceiling. Everything is almost ready, but what else do I do? I still need some kind of an extra edge. Of course, Owlicious! With Owlicious’ ability to see in the dark, I could easily get the jump on Pinkie Pie. Such an ingenious move! But where is he? "Owlicious!" I called out. "Owlicious, where are you?" "Looking for your birdie, Twilight?" I should have expected Pinkie to do something about Owilicous. "Pinkie Pie, did you do anything to Owlicious?" "Oh he's fine, Twilight. You could say he's getting his just desserts!" "Oh, but I would just hate for something bad to happen to my pet owl. Why I would hate it so much I just might hate the pony who hurt him." I had the biggest grin on my face as I drank in the silence, sprinkled with the lightest spice of Pinkie Pie's little whimpers. "You don't mean that," she finally cried after a moment of silence. "Oh, but I do!" "YOU DON'T MEAN THAT!" I let out the slightest of giggles, the crescendo of Pinkie Pie's sobs affirming all my theories on her madness. "Where is he, Pinkie Pie," I ask in the most sickeningly sweet and sincere voice I can muster. "Just tell me where he is, Pinkie Pie." "He's in the bathtub, Twilight." Her answer was toneless, deprived of any recognizable emotion. No matter, I'm still one step ahead of her. I've done my research, Pinkie Pie. I galloped up the stairs and to the bathroom. Just as Pinkie Pie said, I found him buried under a tub of pudding. How original, Pinkie Pie. I extended an aura of magic into the mess and pulled out my owl. Drats, he's unconscious. I shook him a little, pushing on his lungs to force out any pudding caught inside his throat. "Owlicious! Owlicious, wake up!" I yelled. "I need you awake, now!" After a few seconds, he opened one beady little eye, staring at me like I was insane. "We're going Pinkie Pie hunting." "Who?" I don't have time for this. "Pinkie Pie!" I yelled. "Who!" He struggled and broke free of my magical hold, a look of terror plastered across his tiny face as he turned and flew right into a locked window. "Some help you are," I spat. "Twilight." Pinkie Pie again, but her voice was so close that it made the hairs on the back of my neck stand stiff. I turned, my teeth on the verge of cracking, and she was there, standing at the doorway. She was covered in flour and sweat and looked partially singed. From the stains on the fur leading down from her swollen red eyes, it was obvious she had done a lot of crying. "I can see you, and touch you at last, Twilight. Nothing to hold me back from you, Twilight!" "Pinkie Pie," I growled. This is it, I have to trap Pinkie Pie now! "I win, Twilight. I've caught you, Twilight. You're my prize, Twilight! Is your owl okay, Twilight.You don't hate me, right, Twilight? Twilight?" She took a step towards me, her eyes in a half-closed stupor and her mouth hanging open. "I just want you, Twilight. Is that so much, Twilight?" "Game's not over yet, Pinkie Pie," I giggled, drawing some unnatural confusion from Pinkie Pie. "You haven't caught me yet, Pinkie Pie." "Twilight!" She jumped at me, a feral look of desire in her face. I closed my eyes, and concentrated as hard as I could for the tiniest moment and, in a flash, I winked to the doorway where Pinkie Pie once stood. Pinkie Pie had missed me by a fraction of an inch, and she landed in the tub of her own concoction. I turned around, smirking as I saw Pinkie Pie rise from the tub, her face covered in chocolaty mess. She licked her face clean and turned to me with renewed vigor. "Come join me, the pudding's all right, Twilight," she giggled. "You'll have to catch me, Pinkie Pie." I slammed the door shut, locking it with a spell. I felt Pinkie Pie bang against it, and in turn banging against the magic of the lock linked to the walls of my mind. I didn't have much time. "I'm getting away, Pinkie Pie?" "No!" She screamed. "We're so close, Twilight! Let's be together forever, Twilight!" Just a little more, and I'll have her! I nearly squealed to myself in delight. My plan was working. I just needed to herd her to the main room. "Forever is too far away for you, Pinkie Pie." She gave up on trying to break the door down, so I could only assume she was back in the ventilation system. "You can't have what you can't catch, Pinkie Pie! You're losing this game, Pinkie Pie." Her hoof-steps became faster, more frantic. I began my descent down the stairs, letting my hooves fall heavily, echoing all throughout my house so Pinkie Pie could follow me. "You're losing me, Pinkie Pie!" "Stop running away from me, Twilight!" "But isn't this part of your game, Pinkie Pie?" I teased her. "You'll never touch me at this rate, Pinkie Pie!" "I want you, Twilight!" I stepped into the main room of the library, surrounded by a mess of torn books and my jerryrigged cage, hanging sweetly from the ceiling. "I'm right here, Pinkie Pie. I’m waiting for you, Pinkie Pie! I'm going to win, Pinkie Pie!" The moment was choking me, making it so hard to breathe and a strand of spit from my mouth hit the floor. "Where are you, Pinkie Pie!" "I'm here, Twilight." Her voice seemed to come from everywhere, echoing from every vent in the room. Cheap trick, Pinkie Pie! "Are we going to be together now? Are you done running, Twilight!" "Do I look like I'm moving, Pinkie Pie?" I teased her again, turning around and lifting my tail and mooned her. "Can you catch me now, Pinkie Pie?" "Twilight!" Just as I had predicted, she lunged at me, and I cut the rope on my cage. It fell right on her. I have her! "Pinkie Pie," I smiled at her, feeling my lips stretch to the corners of my face. "I've got you, Pinkie Pie! I win, Pinkie Pie!" "You win, Twilight," she replied melancholy. "I'm your prize, Twilight. Take me, and do whatever you want with me, Twilight." "Oh I intend to! There is so little I know about this love, but you will make just the perfect test subject. Oh it will be so much fun, slicing open your head and finally looking into that little sugar laced pony brain of yours. I'll poke and probe you from every angle, carefully measuring every little response. Oh, it will be so much fun, Pinkie Pie! So. Much. Fun."  Tape 3 Dual Playback Begin     "Just a few more minutes, Pinkie Pie!" I delightfully sang to her, waltzing from cupboard to cupboard, looking for any possible dissecting tools. I rarely venture into the culinary arts, so I'm quite surprised that so many interesting tools are used for cooking. Any knife could be used to cut open a pony when enough force is applied. It takes little more than a spoon for scooping out the brain, and my mind is just buzzing with ways I can apply the egg-beater I found. Oh yes! This will be so very educational. So much research I could do! So much I can learn about love! I can't wait to tell the Princess! I'm still lacking a means of restraining Pinkie Pie though. "Hoof-cuffs!" To think that gift from Rarity would someday have an application. I still didn't understand why Rainbow Dash was laughing so hard when I pulled it out of the package. Must be an inside joke.     I trot past the cage still holding my beloved specimen, Pinkie Pie. I couldn't wait to see how cute she looked cut up on my kitchen table. The inner workings of the pony body is such a marvelous thing! Everything working together in perfect harmony, like me and my friends! Like me and Pinkie Pie will soon be. "Soon, Pinkie Pie! Are you as excited as I am, Pinkie Pie!" No response. She just lied there, staring at me in a hypnotic stupor. This love aspect is so fascinating if it was now making her docile. Research must be done, quickly!     I galloped up to my room, quickly scouring the mess for the hoof-cuffs. I remembered stashing them under my bed. Reaching a hoof under the frosting-laden mess, I feel around in it until I find the box I had stashed it away in. I pulled it out and pried the lid off with my teeth. "Found it," I chuckled. "Soon, so soon, I can't wait!"     I returned to the main room of the library, swinging the cuffs around a hoof playfully. "Are you ready, Pinkie Pie?" I asked her, unable to contain the wide smile erupting across my face. "You'll just love it, Pinkie Pie!" I spun the hoof-cuffs faster, barely able to contain the ecstasy surging through my body at the thought of cutting her open. The cuffs flew off, landing next to a torn up book behind me. My eye twitched, my sweet-gratification has been delayed by all of a few seconds. I groaned loudly and galloped up to it, picking it up with my teeth. I suppose I got too excited, I huffed, and turned back to Pinkie Pie, ready to begin my experiments. What I found instead was my perfectly sculpted cage mangled to bits. "She's gone." I exhaled slowly, feeling every muscle in my body clench up. Why are you doing this? Just when I was on the edge of understanding you, Pinkie Pie! Grind, grind, grind! I was back in the ventilation system, making my way to the upper level when I noticed Twilight playing with some kind of shiny object. Shiny! What’s she got, what’s she got? Squinting my eyes, I noticed that she had a set of four metal rings connected by a chain. She brought back hoof-cuffs? *Gasp* Those are ‘naughty pony’  toys. Hehehe, I didn’t know my precious Twilight was into those kind of games. Hehehehe! This’ll be all the more fun when I catch her! “PINKIE PIE!” I clasped a hoof to my chest and gave a little sigh when I heard her scream my name. Now that she wanted me, I wanted to keep this game up just a little longer, and I knew just how to do that. Before that though... “Hehehe, Where am I, Twilight?” “PINKIE PIE, WHERE ARE YOU!? I JUST WANT TO PLAY WITH YOUR BRAIN! IS THAT SO MUCH, PINKIE PIE? COME BACK TO ME! SO WE CAN EXPLORE THIS ‘LOVE’ PHENOMENON!” She wants to play with me? She wants to explore me? I could feel the blood rush to my face as my mind drifted into naughty territory, thinking of all the things we could do to each other, but I wanted to drag this out a teensy bit longer. I hope she’ll understand. I crawled through the vents until I arrived in the bathroom, for what I surmised would be the last time I needed to use this room for anything. Gently pushing the grating off the wall, I tip-hoofed my way to her toilet and spotted what I came in here for: plungers. Most ponies usually only have one or two, but for some odd reason Twilight had seven of them and they were all pink and purple. Thinking nothing of it, I popped the sticks off of the four purple plungers, and began searching under her sink until I found a roll of duck tape.  Duck tape? Why do they call it  duck tape? They should change the name to chicken tape instead, oooohhh, or falcon tape!  I prepared to sink back into the ventilation shaft once more, but then it occurred to me that there was an easier way to prolong this game. Without any hesitation I picked up and threw the ventilation grating into the bathroom mirror making a loud “CRASH!” sound before I jumped into the vents and started rushing my way to her bedroom. I’d only have one shot at this and I wanted to do it right. “I HEARD THAT, PINKIE PIE! AND I’M COMING TO GET YOU! DON’T RUN FROM ME, PINKIE PIE! DON’T YOU WANT TO BE TOGETHER?” Don’t worry Twilight, we’re going to be together soon enough... I'm so close I'm so close I'm so close! Everything seemed to be coming together again. I had my wonderful dissecting tools, my restraints, my scrolls and ink. All I needed was my test subject, Pinkie Pie. "I'm coming for you, Pinkie Pie! I'll have you soon,!" My heart was racing, all the blood in my veins began burning up as Pinkie Pie bounced through my head with that defiant grin on her face and look of torturing desire in her eyes. Oh how I want to study you, Pinkie Pie! I ripped the door of the bathroom off with my teeth, and threw it away down the stairs. These doors are becoming such a nuisance! Inside, I find the grating of the ventilation laying on the floor amidst a sea of broken glass. I ignored the grating and turned to the shards. "If I sterilize these, they could make for great tools for cutting open Pinkie Pie. Much more efficient than a butter knife." I gleefully turned to the faucet, reminded a minute later that my plumbing now lead to some deranged soda reservoir. "If I boil soda, would it still work?" I let out an irritated sigh. I've lost Pinkie Pie again. Pinkie Pie's in the ventilation system again. I'm playing Pinkie Pie's game again! "Why can’t you just give up and let me have you, Pinkie Pie!? I just want to understand love with you, Pinkie Pie! But I need you, Pinkie Pie! So I can cut open your brain, Pinkie Pie! I'll be gentle, Pinkie Pie!" After what I presumed would be an indefinite silence, her voice penetrated the quiet atmosphere, "Perhaps a little rough?" "As rough as you want it, Pinkie Pie! We don't even need anaesthesia!" A slight giggle erupts from vents. She's close! Pinkie Pie is close! "With a candle-lit dinner in the background." "Your brain hooked up to a neuro-response reader." "The window drapes opened, and only the moonlight to guide us." "Your body lying on a table." "Our manes mixing together." "Probed in every orifice." "Our eyes meeting." "My quill writing." "Our muzzles touching." "The lovely stitches you'll have when I put you back together." "And we'll be together forever." "Forever, Pinkie Pie! But I need to be with you first, where are you, Pinkie Pie?" My mind teetered dangerously on the edge of anxiety while I awaited for her response . How much longer did I have to wait. I couldn't stand the thought of waiting any longer. Why must research be delayed so much? "Everything is ready, Twilight. I'm waiting for you in your room. I want you, and I know you want me to. Everything is ready my love." "Yes!" I gleefully squeal. Her body is ready, I just need to take her now! I bounced ecstatically into my room, but my high expectations crashed, burned and died on arrival. Pinkie Pie was nowhere to be found. Just another rearrangement of my room. I stepped forward, only to find my hoof buried in a pile of rose petals. "Really, Pinkie Pie, more food?" I groan. "Why can't I just have you, Pinkie Pie! Why are you making this so difficult!" Fly me to the moon...         I nearly jumped out of my fur when I heard the music start playing. What are you doing now, Pinkie Pie? I followed the trail of rose petals next to a candle-lit table, a bowl of chocolate fondue with an assortment of strawberries and peaches sat on the side. "I'm not hungry, Pinkie Pie," I growled.         "Don't like my Fondue-Me recipe, Twilight? I made it just for you and me, Twilight."         "No!" I yelled back. She's in this room. She's so close, but where is she!? "I thought you said we could be together, Pinkie Pie! Why are you delaying this?!" She gave no response. No, she was responding, just not vocally. I could feel every little bit of her in this room, twitching and aching, trying to force its way down my throat. I look back at the trail, and it lead past the dinner table, further into my room. Is she at the end? I wondered, feeling my body temperature rise. I followed the trail, up the stairs, past Spike's basket, back to my bed. It was a normal bed again, only this time Pinkie Pie lay on top of it, the pale moonlight flowing in through the window making her pink coat glow a ghostly pale shade of its normal coloring. What a perfect specimen... How I wanted her. How I wanted to poke and prod her, to learn what love is from her. A tender smile spread across my lips as I reached out to touch her. "It's time, Pinkie Pie." “It’s time, Pinkie Pie.” Those words sent shivers up my spine as Twilight drew closer and closer to the bed. I felt my heart jump into my throat as she eased her way onto the mattress, fixing her eyes in a bestial fashion as though she were a predator closing up the hunt. That insatiable infatuation that I sensed from her only made me more excited with every inch of distance that she closed between us. “Come closer to me, Twilight.” “As close as you want, Pinkie Pie." That’s it , just a little more... “I’m so cold and lonely, Twilight. Why don’t you join me?  Maybe we can warm each other up, Twilight.” “Don't worry, Pinkie Pie. I'm right here for you.” Gotcha, my beloved Twilight. I watched with glee as she reached out, and grabbed the hindleg of my Pinkie-Puppet. It looks like she’s taken the bait hook and sinker, but it’s time for me to drop the line.  I looked down at my hooves which were covered in my jerry-rigged plunger shoes, and began hastily undoing the  tape that adhered myself to them. As soon as I popped the last piece of duck tape off my hooves, I felt physics enforce the law gravity almost immediately as I fell from her ceiling and landed on a  corner of the bed, catching her completely off guard. The startled look in her eyes as she tried to express her happiness to seeing me was simply delicious. “B-but y-you’re r-right here— NO! I CAUGHT YOU! HOW ARE YOU EVEN—” I didn’t hesitate to tackle her onto the floor locking her in a tight embrace “Shhh.... there’s no need to fret.” I said while placing my right hoof in front of her mouth. I inched my face closer to hers until we were separated only by my hoof.  “Here you are Twilight, I’m going to let have a slice of Auntie Pinkie’s pie. Fresh, warm, and moist.” She began flailing her hooves around wildly after I said that. “Twilight, how are you supposed to enjoy your Pie if you carry on like that?” I spotted the hoofcuffs on the floor not a few inches from Twilight’s head and a naughty thought popped in my head. “Oh Twilight, Auntie Pinkie Pie has a game we can play...” Without another word, I seized the restraints and slapped them tightly them on Twilight, binding her legs together. “Pinkie Pie, what are you— Mmmph! Mmmph!” Without warning, I pressed my wanting, waiting, and tormented lips against hers, and indulged myself in every moment of the sensation. I felt a surge of electricity flow through my very being, as I greedily drove myself deeper and deeper into the kiss, but I couldn’t help myself, I was insatiable. Twilight fought and struggled against me, but I payed her attempts no attention as I began probing her mouth with my tongue. The sensations were driving me crazy as I drove my tongue along hers, massaging it and caressing it, savoring the taste of her breath. I ovulated my lips along hers once more, detailing every single curve, treasuring the not too firm yet not too soft texture before diving back into the euphoria that was her tongue. Her lips were nice, but nothing could compare with the warm and wet pressure of her tongue along mine as I began to trace the edges of her cheeks. Mmm... juicy! I wanted every second, I wanted every inch, I would leave no crevice unexplored, I had waited so long for this, and I wasn’t going to waste a moment of this. Her warm saliva on  my tongue coupled with the  feel and flavor of her warm breath, set me off, to the point of no return, I wasn’t even thinking rationally, I had become the embodiment of lust at this point. And yet, as good as kissing the mare of my dreams felt, I needed something a little more.     My mind was blanking, slowly trying to interpret what had happened. I struggled against the bindings on my legs, reaching down to it with my magic, but my aura bounced right off. Anti-magic? Why did you give these to me, Rarity!         I still couldn't breathe after what had just happened. My lips hurt, and I could still taste Pinkie Pie. Bubble-gum, cinnamon flavored. She was looking away, and I wanted to escape. Another tug on the hoof-cuffs and I was reminded again of my predicament. What's going on! I don't understand. I don't understand I don't understand I DON'T UNDERSTAND! I pulled myself off of Twilight after indulging in her perfection one last time, and stood up, with my attention directed at her wardrobe. “Hey Twilight, don’t go anywhere, I’ll be right back kay?” I trotted over to her wardrobe, and fished through countless amounts of boring old robes and dresses, until i finally found what I was looking for. Even a bookworm like Twilight has to own something spicy, and there it was: A black lacy saddle with embroidered silver stripes outlining the sides. Upon further investigation, I discovered black stockings and a pair of high-heeled horsehoes. Oh wow, for the quiet type, she certainly has some bold tastes. “Hehehe...” “Pinkie Pie, what are you giggling about?  Let me go, this isn’t funny anymore, Pinkie Pie!” Without another moment of hesitation I adorned all of the articles of clothing, and trotted to the dinner table staring sadly at the bucket of fondue.  It would be an awful shame to let it all go to waste... I know! I picked it up with my mouth and trotted back to my still restrained beloved.  I set the bucket down before her, and decided to model the clothing I liberated from her closet. As expected, her eyes shot right open in what I guessed was a show of approval. “Do you like what you see Twilight?” "This is embarrassing, Pinkie Pie," she grunted through those cute pearly gritted teeth. I got in close to her, freeing her from the cuffs and drawing her close. I felt her struggle, but it quickly became apparent that between the two of us, I was stronger. I placed a hoof on her head and held it to my chest, and idulged myself in her scent. Sugar, sweat, and old parchment. I felt her heartbeat racing away. I'm so sorry. I bit down on her mane, savoring the dried frosting that still clung to her. I dipped a hoof into the bucket of scalding hot chocolate, and drew a little chocolaty heart on my chest, scalding my skin. It hurt. "This is yours, Twilight," I whisper into her ears. "Pinkie Pie—" "LICK IT!" I grabbed her cute little confused head and forced it against my chocolate-covered chest, feeling her hot breath fall down onto my starving stomach. I forced her harder into myself, and I almost melted into a little puddle Pinkie goop when I felt her tongue against my chest. Yes, just like that, Twilight. Her tongue, warm, leaving little sparkling streaks of saliva on my body, and I even felt a little pile of spit oozing out of my hanging tongue. I don’t think I’ll ever take a bath again... I bit into her sugar-coated mane again, slurping on the little dregs of sugar that still stuck to her. I said I would lick you clean, Twilight. You'll enjoy it, I promise. I was almost eating her mane now, and I dipped my hoof back into the bucket and drew another little heart on my cheek. "Have more, Twilight." "No, Pinkie Pie, I—" "I SAID HAVE MORE!" I yelled at her, forcing her face against mine. I'm sorry, Twilight, but I can't let you go now. She took her hint again, and I felt her tongue brush my cheek. My tail went limp, falling to the side over her bead, and I took another bite into her sweet mane. I savored every little sensation of it: my legs against her warm and inviting body, the wetness of my fur as she licked it, the taste of Twilight, and her scent. Her wonderful scent. I dipped my hoof back in the chocolate, and started drawing on my chest again. I drew her cutie mark, a six pointed star. "Proof that I'm yours, Twilight. Heart, body, and soul. Seal it with a kiss, Twilight." "Pinkie Pie, please-" "TAKE ME!" Why do I have to force my feelings like this? Didn't you want me, Twilight. Take me! Take me and never let me go! I forced her against me again. It didn't take long for her to get to work this time, and I felt the boiling chocolate slowly being soothed away by Twilight's perfect lips. I started grinding away on her hips, feeling her body squirm and contort under the pressure. I was growing hotter, losing myself in the atmosphere and this moment when my should would eclipse with Twilight's. She had finished licking off the cutie mark I drew on myself, and I threw my hooves around her, scooping her up in one last hug as I continued to rub ourselves together. "Agh!" She squealed? She squealed! She squealed for me! "Pin... kie..." "Just one more time," I panted. "Together, we're together now, Twilight!" Agh!     I could still taste chocolate and fur in my mouth. Pinkie Pie laid on top of me still, but she had gone limp. She was face down in the pillow next to me. All I could see were the fringes of her mane. "Why did you do that," I whimpered. "I just wanted to dissect your brain. Was that too much?"     "I couldn't help myself," she whispered back to me, placing a soft kiss on my cheek. "I love you, Twilight, and this was the only way I could get you to understand me."         "This is love?" I stared back at the ceiling of my room, my brow furrowing as I tried to process all this raw data.         "Feeling the other pony run through your heart and soul. That's how I felt about you Twilight," she whispered to me.         "So that's love?" I didn't so much as ask Pinkie Pie that I asked myself. Feeling the other pony run through your heart and soul.     "Do you hate me, Twilight?" Her voice cracked, and I could feel a few tears flow down the pillow, depositing themselves in my ears.     "Pinkie Pie," I turned to face her, "I could never hate you. Not in a million years." I leaned over, and left a kiss on her cheek. She didn't say anything, but she hugged me tighter, drawing herself closer to me.         Another hour passed with us just laying there, enjoying each other's presence. "What are you thinking about?" she asked me. "Dissecting your loving brain," I answered back. "Make sure you put it back, okay?" she replied, nuzzling her head into my neck. "I need that, okay?" "I promise, Pinkie Pie. I wouldn't want to kill my first love." I place my hooves around her, letting her lay her head along my chest as I warmed my face with her mane. She started picking at my mane, pulling out stray strands. "Ow," I yelped. "That hurt, Pinkie Pie." "Sorry," she replied with a cheesy grin. She started fumbling around in her own mane, and pulled out a few strands. "Hey, Twilight, have a sewing needle." "I don't know. You've messed around with my room so many times I don't know where anything is," I giggled. "Was that also a part of your love?" "Yep," she answered me back. "I have so much to learn," I sighed, but I relished the thought to learn so much about love. "Oh, I know." I levitated over a little shard of broken glass. "Will this work?" "Yes," Pinkie Pie squealed as she started forming string with the hairs. I poked a little hole in the shard so she could thread it. She looked so happy when I gave her the little bit that my heart stopped for all of a moment. Is this feeling the magic of love? She bit down on the glass piece. "What are you doing?" "I'm going to sew our bodies together so we can never part again," she answered me. I couldn't help but smile at the idea. "I can't wait to document this experience with you, Pinkie Pie." There was so much that I had to learn that I was giddy with anticipation. "Oh Twilight," she giggled. "You and your quirks." I felt the needle sink into my skin, puncturing out again and drawing a few beads of blood. "Ow, that hurts." "Sorry," she apologised as she maneuvered the shard of glass into her own stomach. She didn't even wince, and even seemed to smile wider as she tugged on the thread, pulling our bodies togethor. "Just ninety-nine more to go." "Only ninety-nine?" I raised an eyebrow at her. "Is that enough?" "Nine hundred and ninety nine then?" "That should do," I sighed and felt her prick me again. "Hey Pinkie Pie, why don’t you sing me something while you work on” —I had to bite my lip as the glass passed through my belly again— “sewing us up?” “Okie doki loki, my love! I’ve got just this song just for us: Whoooh-oh-oh-oooooh, with the longest twine Whoooh-oh-oh-oooooh, with the longest— When I stitch up our fates to-night, Everyday after this will be so happy and bright, What else can I doooooo? Never wanna be a-part from you, So we’ll stitch it with the longest twine. Pinkie Pie drove the glass into me once again, causing another yelp of pain to escape from my lips. "You have such a— ungh— nice singing voice." "Thank you, Twilight." She repeated the process over and over, slowly making a circle around our stomachs ad binding us together. Hm, binding. "Hey, Pinkie Pie, what did you do with those hood-cuffs?"         "Oh, Twilight, you shouldn't enable that kind of behaviour." Last Report:Single Play Rainbow Dash stared through the one-way mirror, a look of horror cemented on her face. "But... what? How? Why? Aw hay. Zecora, how did you find them?" She turned to Zecora, the one who found Twilight and Pinkie Pie in their patchwork state.     “I was on my way to return Twilight’s dragon Spike, I believe that the time was at the first dawn’s light. I found the door was unlocked to her library, so I inside I ventured to that great tree. Please believe me when this I stress, the whole place was an absolute mess; but up the stairs I dared go, what had transpired in your friends room was something I doubt any pony could know. In the center of the room a sight so horrid i could cry: dearest Twilight was sewn together with Ms. Pinkie Pie.”     Rainbow Dash took a moment to try and process Zecora's limerick. She turned back to the window, trying to hold her lunch down as she stared at Twilight and Pinkie Pie behind it, holding each other with nauseating scars all around their stomach right where the thread had pierced them. "But that doesn't explain anything."     "Calm down, Dash," Rarity replied, placing a hoof on her friend's shoulder. "Zecora said she doesn't know how this happened so don't pressure her." She sighed, feeling Rainbow Dash become less tense before returning to a bench at the back of the room. She had already lost her breakfast from just glancing at her poor friend's haggard state. She didn't want to lose last night's dinner. She took a seat next to Fluttershy, who was in a fit of quiet tears.     "Doc," Applejack addressed a passing attending doctor who stopped and gave his undivided attention to the ranch-hand. “Are they gonna be... you know... all right?” The doctor looked into Applejack’s green eyes and sighed. "It's... possible that they can get better." He brought a hoof to his chin, mumbling to himself a few words before finally addressing all of the onlookers. "It's called Shared Psychotic Disorder. To put it simply, one of your friend's insanity fueled the other, and now their stuck in their own shared delusional world." "So why are they making kissy-face to each other!?" Rainbow Dash yelled, lacking any tact. "I don't know, ma'am," the doctor sighed in frustration. "It's been a challenge to get close to either of them without being assaulted with magic. Being able to move them here is a miracle in itself. Perhaps we'll get some answers when they're better, but that would be if they get better." The doors to the building were thrown open, on the other side stood Princess Celestia. She moved silently among the ponies, barely making a sound before she gazed through the one-way mirror. "My faithful student," she sighed, a single tear hitting the floor. On the other side of the mirror, Twilight and Pinkie Pie lay together, oblivious to the world around them. Neither of them cared. All they wanted was was each other. "I love you, Twilight." Pinkie Pie whispered into Twilight's ear. "I love you too, Pinkie Pie," Twilight whispered back, pushing back a lock of Pinkie Pie's curly mane and admiring the stitches on her head. The experiment was a complete success.