At her lowest moment, a mare without confidence and hiding a shameful secret is confronted by her deepest fears when an old friend visits.
Octavia’s life in Canterlot has not gone as planned.
Now feeling alienated and alone, her despair has reached a new low point. But in her darkest hour, the earth pony devoid of confidence and hiding a shameful secret is confronted by her deepest fears when an old friend visits.
There was no better delight in her otherwise morbid world than to return to the safety of home.
Without much stamina left to do much else, Octavia silently thanked herself for surviving another day at work. After unlocking and then opening the door with her muzzle, the mare shrugged the heavy door aside and trotted past the threshold into her apartment. When she had closed and locked the door, only then did the musician sighed her relief. It was all the mare could say to summarize the day she had.
Despite how tired she was, Octavia shrugged off the uncouth temptation to drop everything in a disorderly pile at the door. Even within the comfort of her own home, it was hard to break habits no matter how tired she felt. However as she entered the living room, the grey mare at least allowed herself to start bleeding off all the tension that had accumulated since this morning. It was the mare’s only concession to her routine, one that was occurring more often as she also allowed herself to canter around at a more sluggish pace.
On her way through the living room, Octavia stopped by the adjoining kitchen bench where she finally deposited a load of groceries she had picked up the way home. Free of that additional burden, the mare lazily passed through the set of double doors that lead to her bedroom. Once there, Octavia briefly thought about searching for a towel to dry herself off. Her journey home today had been marred by a downpour that had left the mare partially drenched. However the mare had to ignore that trivial problem and instead went to finish her routine by depositing her saddlebags and instrument. They had been burdening her back since she left the academy and by now her hooves ached for a rest.
Doing anything else came as a challenge after everything was put down, but Octavia struggled onwards as she reached for a towel. Even for such a trivial act, the mare could feel every ache despite her attempts at tolerance: from her hooves to her haunches, her legs were all asking for a chance to rest. Octavia’s did not wait a moment longer once dry and returned to the living room to find a place on one of her plush crimson sofas. The mare always felt instant physical elation every time she rested her aching body down on the smooth velvet covers.
Octavia felt guilty for the temptation, but then didn’t regret for an instant when she proceeded to roll onto her back and wriggled herself against the velvet, chafing her sore withers and dock against the sofa. Laying atop this most gentle of fabrics was not quite the same as going to a spa, but for a moment felt angelic and gave the desired effect of touching a few sore spots that needed a soothing rub. When she felt her guilt overpower the temptation to continue writhing on the sofa, Octavia collapsed to her side and left her hooves just hang over the edge.
After just a few more adjustments against a nicely stuffed cream pillow, the mare finally found herself in the ideal position to lay in an almost intoxicating relaxation. Octavia would have let herself slip into a comatose nap, but now that she had addressed her physical sores, the mare started to remember her mental ones. For the young mare it was becoming a depressing habit of hers and it seemed to Octavia that she was bringing home new stresses every day.
“It’s just getting worse,” Octavia sighed finally and closed her weary eyes and started to recount her day.
It felt like the problems all started this morning when she had to talk with her instructor. Octavia had long come to dread the fortnightly meetings, but this particular one had been unpleasant.
Sitting in the instructor’s office, Octavia again wished she could be anywhere else right now.
Once upon a time it had been a rather delightful part of her responsibilities as unofficial leader of the troupe she was assigned to, however Octavia’s enthusiasm had long since evaporated. One major reason for the dislike was the now alarming frequency of times where she was being blamed for poor performance. Almost every time she came to see the instructor, there was something new for him to complain about. What made it worse was that it almost had to do with her ability to play the cello, rather something that she simply was taking responsibility for.
Today would prove to be no exception.
Octavia sat across from her instructor Mendel, a fellow earth pony with a keen sense for detail. He was not one that could be easily pleased and despised any attempting to curry favor. Mendel was also, like most instructors at the Royal Conservatorium, a rather a blunt-speaking pony who never sugar coated what he had to say. Overall this made him somepony Octavia could respect whenever she had something good to report. But in recent times he had unintentionally become a really frightening pony to talk with.
“I heard you played rather well at the charity dinner,” He started in his usual tone.
Right away Octavia sensed it was the voice he reserved for when he was about to cut a pony off at the hocks for a lousy job.
“But something went wrong...didn’t it?” Octavia sighed.
Mendle sighed, then started to pass judgement.
“You’ve heard it enough times from me so I’ll save you the lecture and just say that your group’s pianist is bringing down your performance.”
“What did Frederick do this time?” Octavia sighed, hoping it wasn’t another incident involving a stolen pie. Sensing no reason to berate Octavia for her band member’s mistake, he at least restrained himself at yelling out what he had to say to the young mare.
“The organizer swears your pianist is just playing like an oafish foal who discovered what wonderful noises his instrument makes...that sort of review coming from that organization is poison for our academy.” Mendle continued to berate calmly, “Upstairs has told me that we are going to turn into the laughing stock of Canterlot if we continue to let these embarrassing incidents continue,”
“I understand,” Octavia replied, then started her usual line in response, “But Frederick told me that he thinks their piano was not tuned properly, but I’ll take responsibility for the mistakes.”
Octavia always disliked the idea of bending the truth on these problems, but inside she knew there was no other way out. Ever since she had become a member of the Royal Palace Conservatorium, she had been forced to learn the rather murky skill of taking the blame for her co-workers. At the same time, Mendel had become rather tired of hearing the same excuses from her.
“You say that like you mean it everytime we meet Octavia...so why has nothing changed, do you want me to talk to Frederick again?”
“No...I don’t think that's necessary,” Octavia assured her instructor, mentally adding ‘Besides, last time you talked to him...he pulled that prank on me as revenge...’
Mendel sighed. He really liked Octavia, though he could never show it since it was bound to start a revolution within the music school if he ever showed anything approaching favoritism. At the same time, he was bound by his disappointment in the grey earth pony. For all of her potential as a leader, she had squandered her credibility with him on making excuses for her band members and acting as their scapegoat for everything. It made what he had to say painfully justified.
“You know Octavia...I had always hoped that your assignment to that troupe would give Frederic the extra motivation to improve his playing, but week after week, you keep providing me evidence to the contrary.”
That worried Octavia a lot and again she responded to cover for her co-workers.
“I’m not lying! I'm doing my best to improve myself to make up for it, and the band...we just-”
“That doesn't fix the problem Octavia!” Mendel yelled, then rebuked himself for his outburst.
Octavia remained silent and silently punished herself for speaking at all.
“Octavia, you work with five other ponies whom for whatever reason rely on you for leadership; you need to stop making excuses for them and start doing something to help them improve,” Mendel started to lecture “For all I know, you could be one of the best cello players we have at the academy, but that means nothing when you're leading a band that isn’t even playing as well as you on your worst day.”
Octavia wanted to whimper out a reply, but instead resisted the temptation. A year of dealing with the band members had taught her that there was nothing to be gained in naming actual reasons why they weren't improving. It was a lot easier to just be yelled at once a fortnight then add fuel to the ongoing problems with her co-workers.
Across the desk, Mendel started to feel sorry for her again and in turn lowered his tone to a comfortable level.
“Octavia I really want to consider what is at stake, you're new to the academy and you’re potential is enormous, but unless you turn things around, then I really can't see how you will pass your review in a few months. Octavia, the academy pays for the best performers in Equestria, but if you cannot fix this problem, then I don’t know what kind of future you will have with us”
It was not the sort of news that she wanted to hear first thing in the morning, but Octavia really could not protest. There was no choice but to accept her fate.
“I understand.”
Octavia blinked her eyes clear and again attempted to stop thinking about the meeting.
It didn't work, instead she was making the mistake of giving it more attention. For all of her attempts to block out what they had said, she had already given too much focus on what had happened. The mare repeated her attempts to ignore anything related to her day, but that only made her remember other things about her fellow band members and previous digressions against her.
'Get it out of your mind.' Octavia ordered and punctuated that thought by rolling onto her back again, the realization she had forfeited her comfortable couch coming all too late.
Feeling defeated on her own piece of furniture, Octavia decided that it was time for her to do something. A course of action wasn’t very hard to decide on and with some reluctance, she rolled herself back onto her hooves and returned to the bedroom. Octavia saw nothing out of place and then ventured into the bathroom. She took the chance to look at herself in the mirror.
"Good Luna...I look...terrible." Octavia couldn't help but verbalized.
She did not look anything like the respectful mare she always aspired to maintain herself as, in fact she had nothing close to a respectable look at the moment. Her mane was in shambles thanks to the rain but after the quick dry off the beautiful black mane now resembled a messy wet mop attached to her head. Her makeup was just as much of a mess, her eyes look blackened from another form of irritation coming down her cheeks. To top it off, her bowtie was still on, hung like a weltering flower, evidently forgotten to be taken off by Octavia.
'What kind of uncouth sloth have I become...' Octavia sighed to herself '...am I going to start drinking milk out of the carton too?'
Prompted by the disgusting mare looking back at her in the mirror, Octavia turned into the bathroom proper and ran the shower. She would need a steaming hot shower to make up for this uncivilized appearance.
'In you go...' Octavia thought as she detached her bow and threw it into the laundry pile with the others needing a wash '...and in I go...'
Stepping over the threshold of the shower, the grey mare at once felt like she was entering a warm embrace. Octavia then simply stood there, momentarily in awe of the feeling of warm water whilst it rained upon her exposed back. It soaked into Octavia's fur and started to soak out the few specks of grime that had managed to mar her coat. With the added bonus of pulsations from gravity assisted droplets impacting the sore spots, the same ecstasy she felt before gradually returned and the mare once again felt marginally better. Her hooves and hocks conversely did not agree with the feeling and soon demanded relief again.
After she got tired of standing, Octavia backed herself in a corner of the shower stall and slid down the tile wall until her haunches gradually made contact with the warm wet floor. From there, she stretched her hooves and this time simply sat there, giving her fetlocks, coronets and hooves the feeling of no pressure except from the wonderfully warm precipitation from the showerhead. Satisfied with her new position, Octavia lay there and let the rain take its chance to properly soak into the fur over her chest and barrel.
Unlike the feeling on her bony hardened back, the rain had a different sensation when it landed on her layers of soft muscle. It tickled a bit, but it felt better than before, this was how the grey mare decided to remain.
With slow exhausted breathes, Octavia again found herself blissfully content.
After a reasonable amount of time embracing the warm rain of the shower, Octavia eventually finished up and returned to normality by means of toweling herself off and cleaning up her mane again.
'That should do it,' she hummed to herself as she stroked her comb through the last of her tail.
Having finished the soothing therapy of tidying up her hair, Octavia replaced the brushes and took a look at herself in the mirror again, now pleased to see herself. In the mirror, her usually exquisitely kempt mane and tail had been restored to the healthy shine that the grey mare struggled daily to maintain. The face, devoid of any make up or mess, felt as fresh as it looked back at her. Satisfied at the restoration of her physical beauty, the musician pony smiled approval and left, returning to the living room.
There, Octavia found herself with a new quandary and felt uncertain about what she wanted to do. Before she could even consider a thought to the problem, a rather embarrassing warm gurgling sound provided her with an answer. At realizing the reason for the noise, Octavia ear's flopped monetarily and she briefly blushed with embarrassment.
'I guess I should start making something,' Octavia turned her head towards the kitchen and trotted that way.
Left on the bench since her arrival, the grey mare again focused attention on the grocery bag that she carried home from her late stop at the bakery. With a curious muzzle poked in, Octavia took a look and like any other pony, considered her options for dinner by what she was gazing at.
'Lemon cake...no that's not for today...Strawberry tarts...no...maybe I'll have one later...' Octavia sighed, then found something more pleasing '...Maybe a slice or two of that apple pie.'
That decision came easily enough and the grey mare emptied the bag, placing the untouched deserts into the cooler-box. Finished with the additional chore, Octavia focused her attention again on the pie, already looking forward to the warm taste of baked pastry on a cold day. With some effort, Octavia extracted a knife from the drawer and with her muzzle, manipulated the sharp instrument over and down onto the pie, giving herself a generous sized quarter for the awaiting plate.
'Quite the glutton today aren't we Octavia,' she thought shamefully when she inspected her handiwork.
She however simply ignored her own guilt today, and carried the plate over to the meals table that seated four, but really only ever used by one.
'May as well have something to wash it all down you old pig,' Octavia poked at herself and returned to find herself a bottle of apple juice.
Drawing one from the cooler box, the grey mare then collected a glass - she never drank directly from anything - and returned to her table. After pouring a generous serving to accompany her meal, Octavia sat down and without hesitation dug in the refined way a mare of her station was suppose to. Savoring the taste, she steadily made her way from the tip down to the outer crust in a slow progression, something she remembered that her...former....friends had often teased her about.
Such a little a trivial thought however was all that she needed to resurface those ugly memories again. Could she not even enjoy her meal without being reminded of the horrible ponies she worked with? Octavia tried again, this time trying to focus on the taste and the soothing feeling of apple juice sloshing down her gullet. But not even food and drink would erase her problems jutting at the forefront of her mind. Feeling defeated, Octavia felt no choice but to reflect on another memory from today.
Gliding her bow back and forth in a gentle and well-practiced manner, the mare continued to play the piece with meticulous timing.
As her instrument breathed in a slow melody of passionate sighs, she silently played on embracing the music in lyrical meditation. Steadily playing through the composition, and allowing her ears to flicker and fur bristle whenever she reached the highest or lowest note her instrument could play. Octavia never felt better than when she was allowed to play her instrument.
Despite nearing the end of the performance, not once did she fail to give the music anything less than the utmost level of rhythmic attention that was expected of her. At the composition's end, she swiftly lifted her bow away to flawlessly complete the recital without a single error made. It had been a perfect performance up to this point, but it became undone half a moment later when the mare detected the lingering sound of a piano key that had stayed down a second too long.
Silent dissatisfaction filled the mare as she breathed out the last of the pent up air. Without any delay, she had already started to feel the displeasure of failing to achieve an immaculate performance which, once again, came from the simplest of errors from her fellow musicians. It was always frustrating to the mare to see her best efforts foiled by the others; and while it was only a practice session, the grey earth pony seldom allowed that as an excuse for poor quality. But what made this more annoying was - especially after her meeting earlier - that it had been the same misplaced key which kept ruining her attempt for perfect the song.
Once upon a time Octavia would have easily dismissed this as a simple error that could be overcome with more practice; nowadays it felt more like yet another bothersome error that threatened her efforts to play to perfection. She didn't even try to attempt to tell her fellow musicians what the problem was knowing from experience that the other band members had come to have very little regard for her critical ear for detail. Repeatedly she had tried selflessly to ensure they understood her concerns, but the young mare had long since grown tired of the insults and the seemingly cruel jokes they played in retaliation. Now, Octavia merely tolerated it and only remarked when she was prompted by the others to do so.
Feeling it was time for a break, Octavia took the chance to put her instrument down. Lowering her bow and flexing both her forelegs for a moment, the grey mare proceeded to move her cello onto its stand, first by placing the bow back into the provided holder, and then with a tight breath, heaving the heavy instrument onto the cradle at the bottom. When Octavia finished releasing herself from her beloved tool of art, she took another moment to breathe, but this time it was to compose herself before turning to face the others. She had once respected all of them as friends, but over the course of her time with the band she had slowly lost that kinship and had come to both loathe and at the same time fear them.
Looking up from her spot on the floor, Octavia caught them as they always were at the end of a practice performance: slouching around like foals delighted to be finished with their first rehearsal.
“Well I guess third time's the charm for that one...and I guess that means we call it a day now!” Frederic declared with a grin.
"And about time we did too!" Harpo chimed in, "I think we all deserve a round of cider by now."
Octavia sighed as Harpo - the designated joker of the group - started to talk about what they would do after they finished work. As always, his banter was quickly endorsed by the rest of the band, who she thought were the least motivated ponies in the music school. It was just how this band worked, and there wasn't a thing Octavia could do about their lack of dedication and general laziness. The grey mare did admit that it was getting late, but couldn't they wait until they left before discussing the evening plans? Despite her concerns, she saw no point in starting an argument about this problem of theirs and continued to suppress her displeasure.
"Something wrong Tavi-puss?" Frederic detected the exhale from her.
'Don't call me that!' Octavia wanted to say, but instead replied with "No...I just didn't think it was this late already."
It was all she could do to avoid a confrontation, something she had become very adept at since moving to the capital to become a member of the Royal Canterlot Palace Conservatorium. To her dismay however, Frederic simply saw through the ploy.
"Don't lie to me...you have something criticizing to say about our performance again, don't you, Tavi-puss?" Frederic acidly punctuated with the nickname that she had come to hate so much.
The question hit Octavia in the face like a stale breath, adding to the already tense atmosphere that the grey mare swore she could only feel whenever working with these ponies.
They were far from friends now; she took the irritated remark from Frederic as a further sign that they merely tolerated her.
This, however, wouldn't stop her replying to the implied challenge. While Octavia usually refrained from making comments about the work ethic of her coworkers, today would be a rare exception. With a long drawn breath, the grey mare braced herself before entering the verbal melee that she despised contesting.
“Frederic, you played that last note a second too long at the end... again.” Octavia started “Sousie, you were playing just fine, but I think you fumbled a note during the second Legato in the final third of the piece....otherwise I can’t think of anything else that happened..." Octavia then bitterly added "But I take it that none of you really care all too much enough to practice again.”
Octavia breathed and silently counted before the jokester of the group, as expected, decided to start to rebuff her assessment. Like all inevitabilities, once she had spoken, it was impossible to avoid experiencing what would follow.
“Well I guess that means I escaped the Octavi-puss today-”
“Don’t call me that!” Octavia cut him off “I really don't like that name.”
Frederic chuckled and took his chance to reply to what he considered was a rigid insult at his integrity.
“Oh lighten up already, Tavi-puss,” Frederic joined in, “You really need to take a joke...and I keep telling you, that key tends to get a little sticky.”
Octavia sighed at the lame excuse - and the other label she had been given - and prepared to cut it off at the hind legs’ ankles. Had she been new like she once was, she might've tried to relent from saying what she thought and tried to frame her reply in a more diplomatic way. But her patience and sincerity had died long ago and it was quite obvious to Octavia that it was pointless to consider her words for these once supposed friends of hers.
“...If that was the case, then why is it only on that last note does that key become sticky? And second...If you're so sure of your excuse...then why do you feel the need to snap at me because of your mistake?” The grey mare coolly replied as evenly as she could under the pressure of her own anger.
Her rebuttal felt like a gauntlet thrown at Frederic's hooves and only made the other band members blink in stunned shock. Neither of the other ponies spoke a word, still surprised at the gall Octavia had to verbally lash out like she just did. For Frederic's part however, he stood his ground and withheld the powerful temptation to belittle the young mare with the most logical reply to her most insincere remarks about him.
“I’m not snapping at anyone Tavi-puss... but if you want my opinion... I’m just saying you’re reading into this too hard...you really need to relax,”
Octavia tried to stop herself from heading into a deeper argument. To her dismay though, her lowly lack of restraint at times like this ensured that she would speak her mind.
“You want me to Relax? Frederic, don't you remember we are supposed to be performing in a few days time?”
“At a garden party Tavi-puss...” The brown mare chuckled now, seeking out and taking grasp of the chance to belittle Octavia without shouting.
“You know the drill, it's going to be the same hundred or so stuffed shirts we see every concert night, and are probably not going to care either way if a note at the end plays a second longer.”
“That’s not the point!” Octavia tried to protest, but now Sousie took her turn to cut her off.
“Tavi...We’re doing the best we can, maybe you’re just trying too hard, or just maybe you’re trying to hide your mistakes?”
Octavia fumed at the latter suggestion but resisted the temptation to immediately reply to the baited comment. Sousie always did this to her: verbally cornering her and changing the meaning of what she said before Octavia’s eyes, at least until it made the grey mare sound like a vindictive young foal. Acknowledging the verbal trap that lay before her, she took the time now to consider her response before replying, knowing already two of their number were trying to make her sound stupid. The third member of the group then took the chance to make his opinion heard.
"Hey guys...lets just put this to a vote," Harpo suggested, "All those who say we play just fine and Octavia is just being a fuss-mare, say Aye!"
Frederic and Sousie grinned before they verbally replied with raised hooves and the one-syllable response.
"All against?"
Octavia didn't even look at them and kept her peace, not even raising her hoof. Jokes like this weren't funny to her at all and there was no point even playing along anyway, not with these overgrown foals.
“Alright! Three to one in favor of Octavia being a fuss-mare!" Frederic chuckled, "Sorry Tavi-Puss...I guess you're outvoted...again."
'Like you were ever sorry,' Octavia silent spat out as she stared at the ground, not wanting to give them the satisfaction of seeing her disappointed. To her relief, Frederic did not play on her moment of weakness and instead simply gave her a look of contempt before leaving it at that.
"I guess if the leader doesn't mind then, I guess we can call it a day." Sousie remarked with a smirk, “What do you say Oct-Aine?"
'Don't call me that either!' she again reverberated to herself.
If she was a still a complete freshmare at the academy, Octavia might've tried a little harder in encouraging her fellow musicians in giving the song one more try before calling a day.
But those times were long in her past and instead, the semi-official leader of the band merely shrugged off the lack of dedication in her fellow band members as a failure on her part to instill in them the same level of relentless faultless performance that she always sought. It constantly depressed her that they simply didn't care like she did, but nonetheless, all her attempts to lead by example were met with harsh criticism that would only serve as a reminder at how little respect they had for her.
'I guess it's better that they ask me instead of just doing it,' Octavia reasoned, and with a slow wince, she approved the end of their working day with a nod of the head.
"Alright! I knew you would understand...now time to get out of here!" Sousie giggled and with no hesitation started packing away the tuba she was still carrying.
The two colts followed suit, both getting off their stools and quickly readying their instruments for stowage whilst they expedited the process for packing up as fast as was safely possible. For Frederic, it was the simple task of closing the lid of the piano before unlocking the wheels to move it back into its special parking spot against the wall. This was soon joined by Harpo's harp, which to his displeasure didn't have attached wheels and needed to be levitated over.
By the time both colts finished moving their own musical tools, they had only the simple task of helping Sousie pack away their stools, music sheet stands and pack up their belongings. If there was at least one redeeming quality still left in them, Octavia had to admire their remaining courtesy to at least clean up after they finished for the day, even if it was for the deflating purpose of going home sooner.
"Hey Octa-Vine...are you going to stand there like a dumb mule or what?" Harpo complained.
Octavia snapped out of her daze and found herself doing nothing. Despite her reluctance about starting to pack up as well, she too started to move, achingly trotting to the wall to collect the container for her instrument. Returning - with the gentle care one would give to a newborn - the grey mare lifted her instrument off its stand and into the black case that she locked it away in for transit. Completing that, she continued along slowly, repeating as her band members had already finished doing.
"Hurry up already!" Harpo whined again.
'Whining won't make me pack faster,' Octavia silently protested, but again voiced in submission "Just on ahead, I'll catch up."
"Alright thanks Octa-Vne!" the harp player almost giggled for joy, "Come on, lets go guys!"
Without really hesitating, all three of the other band members picked up their saddlebags and trotted for the door. With her back to them, Octavia did not see them leave until she heard the sound of the door being opened - with its familiar cringing whine - and followed a few seconds later by it being slammed shut. To her added annoyance, they punctuated their departure by turning off the lights from the outside and suddenly leaving Octavia to herself in the dark, with only the grey wet sky lighting from the windows to illuminate the wooden floor surrounding her. Silence returned to the room shortly after their departure, and with their absence, Octavia finally took the first chance she had all day to truly speak her mind.
"Ungrateful bullies." She breathed out, holding back her emotions with a whimper.
That final moment made Octavia cringe again and she quickly tried to find something else to occupy her thoughts. Failing to find solace in food, Octavia turned her attention to looking for a visual distraction in her own living room.
Despite only living here for just over a year, the musician had already acquired for herself the sort of furnishings that many ponies usually took years to consider acquiring, even if it was at an almost ruinous cost to herself. Octavia had thought of everything - from the color scheme to the furniture - in order to complement exactly with the sort of place Octavia would like her guests to see when visiting. The mare also felt accomplishment in creating her Canterlot abode to look exactly how she had envisioned it as a filly.
Absent any visiting friends though, the grey mare instead felt rather safe within the elegant surroundings and as she became more uncertain with herself in recent times, it had become something of a particularly relieving retreat for her to embrace everyday.
Octavia started to ponder about trying the food therapy again when she heard a muffled thumping noise come from her door.
“Ma-Mail Ex-Express,” an equally muffled stutter shouted .
Octavia didn't hesitate a second longer with her reaction and bound off her flanks to answer the door.
It had been a pretty awful day, but maybe she was about to have a little silver lining appear. It wasn’t much to hope for after a day like this was it? Octavia cantered with a spring in her hooves as she made to the door, hoping to be there before the the mailpony had the chance to announce his presence a second time. In less than a minute, the earth pony made it to the door and after seeing through the eyehole to be sure, she started to open her door to a delightfully familiar face.
“Oh hello Mac-Guffin,” Octavia answered with some lingering surprise. “Don’t tell me they have you working tonight?”
Mac-Guffin was a lanky excuse of a unicorn with a stutter that could drive some of the high-strung Canterlot locals to drink sometimes, but to Octavia he was as ever a humble, nerdy stallion who had never failed to deliver her mail.
“Oh no, I’m ju-ju-just about done, after this pac-package I’m done for the day,” the nerdy stallion explained in a stammer.
Without really asking, he turned to levitate a large box with quite a few labels on it to indicate fragility. Vanity prevented Octavia from indicating any sort of visible delight for the mailpony to witness but inside the grey mare almost bubbled with her first dose of giddiness this week. Octavia’s doubts resurfaced briefly but this time her concerns were alleviated by merely reading the addressee on the package to confirm it was really hers.
"Thank you, I was hoping to see this." Octavia breathed out with some delight
“You never tell me what you keep buying, this must be your third package in a month!”
“Oh...it's uh...it's probably just another care package from home,” Octavia lied, “you know how parents can be sometimes”
“I see,” Mac-Guffin acknowledged, but inwardly frowned. No care package he ever delivered required this many fragile warning labels. He knew that one of these days she’d tell her, after all thats why he always volunteered to do this shift wasn’t it?
“I guess I’ll see you some other time,”
“Take Care,” Octavia waved and watched the pony leave. Only when he had gone around the corner did Octavia even let out a little noise. Her doubts returned however and in short order she was concerned about it really being something other than what the mare was hoping for. Whatever misgivings Octavia had were quickly dealt with when the mare read of the address details, it was certainly for her.
"Perfect." Octavia breathed out with some delight
After locking up again, Octavia gingerly moved with a surprising enthusiasm to the coffee table to open up the box. With the jubilance of a filly and the restraint of a careful perfectionist mare, Octavia opened the box and slid out yet another box that had been cushioned inside by bubble-wrap.
'It's here...' Octavia announced in awe 'Royal Wedding collection...Her Royal Highness...'
Octavia quietly whinnied in her rare delight. Ecstasy eventually passed her present emotions and now she suddenly felt the need to be careful.
'Gloves...of course.' The mare prompted herself to locate the pair that she kept nearby.
With a tug, she pulled the curtain away revealing the private world of her apartment, her most cherished and therefore most discreetly held hobby.
Octavia loved dolls, and had yearned for her own ever since she was a little filly. Her mother always said dolls were Celestia's gift for all the good little fillies who finished their meals, did their homework and helped out on the land. But despite obeying the Princess’s requirements to obtain a doll, the grey mare was never rewarded with one. It was her misfortune that her family simply couldn't spare the bits for toys only one would enjoy. When she moved to Canterlot - the home of the all the most prestigious doll makers - it became a possibility and from there, Octavia started her collection. Today, it was still rather humble compared to other collectors, whom she didn't know any, but retained a bashful pride in it, even if it was in something she could never allow anyone to know about.
They simply would misunderstand her, particularly in light of her colleagues’ harsh jokes the one time she alluded to it. Octavia assured herself to never make that same mistake again and even in the presence of her apartment, she would do all she could to ensure her visitors - as seldom as they were - never found this collection.
'There we go.' She thought as she slipped her gloves on.
Octavia slipped the blue lid off and saw for the first time the porcelain doll of Her Royal Highness Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, Duchess of the Crystal Capital. It was beautifully appointed in the outfit she wore on the day of her wedding. The grey mare shuddered at how beautiful it was and would have drooled if she had been an uncultured mare. With the utmost care, she slipped her hooves into the case and delicately removed the doll from its cradle.
"Why hello Cadence..." Octavia smiled the warmest glow she had in a while, "Welcome to my collection."
Placing it down on the coffee table, the mare sat down on the floor and took in the sight of her new friend. No part of her looked cheaply finished and from Octavia's own memory - she had played at the wedding - the fabric gown covering the haunches of her porcelain princess looked as exactly detailed as the real one. Even the veil and flowers arrangements in her hair had the same immaculate design that the real princess wore, showing to Octavia the painstaking effort that went into this piece. In every sense it was yet another perfect doll for her growing collection.
Octavia was euphoric at the beauty of her new doll, but then turned to wonder how it felt in its new environment.
"Do you have any worries Cadence?"
The doll merely sat idle, motionless for all time.
"Why yes...there are others...would you like to see them?
With a gentle grasp, Octavia scooped up her Cadence doll and on her pronounced skill, trotted on only her hind legs over to the cabinets.
"Here you are...there's your Aunt Celestia...and your other Aunt Luna...here is one my idols...Beethoovesn...and she is Firefly, former captain of The Wonderbolts...and here..." Octavia stopped in front of a shelf reserved for all the royal wedding collection dolls, "...is your special someone...he's been waiting for you for quite some time."
Behind the glass awaited His Royal Highness Prince Shining Armor, Duke of Canterlot, regally dressed in his own uniform of the day as a Captain of the Royal Palace Guards Regiment.
"I knew you'd be excited to see him," Octavia narrated, "Would you like see him?"
That apparently didn't need to take more than a minute to answer.
"Well of course...Just allow me to..." Octavia lowered the doll out of the way and with her muzzle, bit the handle and pulled open the glass door. With careful gyrations on her hind legs to keep balance, Octavia slipped the doll into place and with added care, brushed the wedding down down to how the real one looked to her.
"There you go...by your groom's side,"
Jumping back, Octavia relinquished her two-hooved stunt and returned to all fours.
After inspecting that everything was in the right place on Cadence and admiring her handsome groom again, the grey mare closed the glass door. She stood back and admired her own achievement in obtaining the doll-version of Princess Mi Amore Cadenza. Looking over all her other friends, Octavia spotted some others, ones that she without a thought turned to look at.
"And how are you all doing today?"
Octavia trotted to the end where she kept the more malleable dolls in her collection. In here, she kept dolls that were not mere artifacts for display, but had the ruggedness to be played with. Covered in either felt or velvet and stuffed tight with cotton or wool scraps, they were about twice the size of the average collector doll. Unlike the ones made by the notable doll-maker establishments, they had the advantage of moving limbs and soft and very malleable manes. As a filly, Octavia could never have dreamed of owning so many, but now she had a few shelves full of these dolls.
Reaching down to open the door these were behind, Octavia embraced some familiar faces.
"Little Octavia, Frederic, Harpo, Sousie...Vinyl...How I missed you all." The grey mare cooed as she scooped them up and in an arcing motion, climbed back up onto her two hind legs hooves. With the loving embrace a foal would receive from a parent, Octavia returned to the sofa and laid down before she rolled onto her back and wriggled herself into a large pillow. After making herself comfortable again, she grinned at what she cradled in her forelegs. Unable to leave her grasp, the grey mare held together all her favorite friends in the whole wide world.
Had she been told as a filly that it was entirely possible to get a custom-made doll that looked exactly like her, Octavia would've done everything in the world to save her bits to get one. But like so much else in her younger years, it would've been unobtainable and so like much else, it had come as a muted surprise to discover that this was possible. At present she owned five of these customized ponies, one of her very own liking and four more that once had been destined as presents for her friends, at least until she had started to feel threatened by their crude remarks and hurtful jabs at her personality. Now robbed of their original intention, they had become Octavia's captive audience when she needed an ear to listen then her friends when she had few others, and nowadays, her only friends in Canterlot.
Finally comfortable, she gazed with a loving smile at the five dolls that rested lazily on her chest, ascending and descending with her every breath.
"So what did you do all day?" Octavia asked her plush doppelganger.
The dolls of course wouldn't talk, but somehow the musician understood them perfectly well.
"I'm so sorry, I know you want to...but you never know what might happen if I leave you around the house...you might get hurt." Octavia relented after taking her unspoken rebuke.
"I know Frederic...but you can't..." Octavia chuckled, "...because I know when I come back you're going to have this big smudge of chocolate right..." Octavia kissed the doll's cheek, "Here!"
She moved Frederic to lay atop her chin, but upon reflection carried him back to the waiting others. There she spotted Vinyl who had almost fallen over the edge.
"Oh!" Octavia gasped, "I'm sorry Vinyl...I should've kept my eye on you!"
Vinyl merely looked back at her with her neutral expression. Octavia however felt a pang of guilt.
"I didn't mean too...how can I make it up to you?"
The white unicorn wordlessly answered.
"A back rub and horn massage?" Octavia gasped a little surprised at the selfish request but smiled, "Okay...you win."
She gently moved Vinyl to the center of the group and started stroking her back. Having rested all dolls on the widest part of her chest, she looked left and right to see the others who were oddly silent all of a sudden.
"What's the matter Little Octavia?"
Without stopping her promised massage of Vinyl, Octavia the doll-version of herself to take center of the group and looked into its motionless eyes.
"...Am I feeling okay? Well I'm not feeling sick if you're asking that."
Octavia felt herself a little worried when she heard the reply.
"I look a little down today?" Octavia repeated to the grey earth pony resting lazily on her chest, "..I guess that’s because I had a bit of a bad day."
Harpo suddenly voiced his silent concern.
"What happened?" Octavia repeated, "I...I'm not sure you're interested."
The white unicorn she was massaging then voiced her own concern.
"I guess if you insist...it all started this morning when..."
For five uninterrupted minutes Octavia talked about her day. From the moment she said goodbye to her sanctuary from the world and her long trot to the Conservatorium, to the stressful meeting she had with her superiors about her quartet's performance schedule. Then she started to talk about her rather agonizing afternoon stuck in a practice hall trying to nail down the four or five songs they had agreed to practice and each time coming short because of the laziness of the others.
"It's awful..." Octavia sadly explained, "All the practice I put in on my own time...and all the complaints I got about Frederic's piano..." Octavia paused when the Frederic spoke. "I'm sorry...I know you play just fine...but this other Frederic at work just doesn't understand how important his playing is..."
Another question was asked.
"No they didn't....at the end of the day he hadn't...and he was using that same excuse about a sticky key," Octavia sighed, "He could be a great pianist if he would just put the effort in, but I guess he and harpo are just too distracted by after-work drinks..."
Now Harpo protested, worried that Octavia was again mistaking him for the unicorn she worked with.
"No...I know it's not you...you're much kinder than that other Harpo..." Octavia stifled at the end, again tonight she was forced by accident to recall that horrible memory. The dolls all seemed to detect it.
"No I'm alright...I'm just...:" Octavia paused and gulped fresh air to try swallow the memory, "...it's just after practice today he said something about me..."
A moment of pause and this time her white unicorn friend asked. Sensing that this would be her only chance to get it off her chest, Octavia braved her feelings and started to recall what she could about what happened.
Octavia took time making her way down to the lobby.
There was no rush for her, and while it was already getting dark and quiet in these halls, the grey mare enjoyed trotting along and admiring the physical, if not spiritual beauty of the Conservatorium. It was one of the few things left in the world she enjoyed, apart from music and her more private pursuits. The history alone was enough to make the young mare from the rural frontiers swell with the sensation of curiosity and nostalgia as she thought of all the great colts and mares in music that once walked these halls. It was enough to overcome any feelings she had before about why she retained herself as a member of this conservatorium on what felt like an increasing number of horrible days.
Eventually, she reached the lobby and her brief appreciation for history came to an end, this time because of a surprise of sorts. From her vantage point, she spotted her unappreciative band members and a few more musicians that she both knew and equally distrusted waiting around in the lobby. Without hesitating, Octavia stopped in her hooves before they could see her.
'Must've run into each other...I hope they leave soon.'
If wishing made it so, that would've been the cue for them to turn tail and leave out the front door, but to her chagrin, the five ponies continued to lull around the foyer. Octavia had almost started to consider returning to the music room for some late practice when she overheard them speak.
"Where in Tartarus is Tavi..." Frederic groaned, "She should've cleaned up her mess by now."
"Give up it up already...she won't go along with it...and I'm getting thirsty." Harpo continued to whine.
Octavia paused in her motions and stayed still.
"Oh come on, when was the last time we invited her along?" said one of the other two that had joined them.
"Ages before she went and became Miss Antisocial on us." Sousie scoffed, "...Harpo's right, Octi wouldn't know a good time if it hit her square on the nose."
'Only because you kept making fun of my choices in beverage...and my family...any everything I ever said,' Octavia silently rebuffed.
It was almost too much and it was starting to occur to the grey mare that just waiting around for them to leave wouldn't be an option. It made her reconsider what else she could do. Part of her was tempted to confront them again, this time with the chance to walk away if it became too much for her, but her pride wouldn't allow her to do that. It had already been thoroughly bashed by those three and she didn't want to give them more reason to poke fun at her, especially with two more spectators to see her made fun of. Another part of her entertained the idea of practicing in the room again, even this late in the day, but what if they came up to annoy her instead?
Octavia continued to rack her thoughts together, but paused when she heard them speak again.
"Well, I want to give her the chance..." Frederic declared, "...and if she wants to continue being a stick in the goo, then we'll just ask her to take a chill tablet and leave"
"You can tell her to swallow the whole bottle if you'd like!" Harpo argued, "But she's just going to be the same stuck up and annoying country estate mare she has always been...no, not even that, she's just being a spoiled filly... if she wants to act like that to us...pray to Luna that she never procreates anytime soon."
Frederic, for his part, was stunned by that pronouncement from his friend, particularly considering that Harpo had once confessed to a lingering attraction to the young and attractive mare. On the one hoof, he guiltily agreed with the sentiment that Octavia was no longer the nice, friendly mare with a talent for playing her chosen instrument. But even for all the loathing Frederic felt about Octavia's current attitude in recent times, he knew Harop’s remarks were really uncalled for. To him, it was a new low for them as a band to reach and he felt ashamed by it.
He was about to angrily cut his own friend's remark down, but was interrupted by another voice.
"Ask who to take a drug?"
Frederic froze at that those words. Shortly following a brief panic, fear rapidly overtook the chilling feeling as he turned his head to the source of the noise, hoping for his hearing to have been mistaken. From around the corner, Octavia appeared, hiding her grief as best as she could, but appearing to all the world like she was bordering on breaking down in enraged tears.
"About time you came..." Harpo finally chuckled, not quite seeing the look for what it was, "Did you get lost again Tavi-puss?"
"It's Octavia" She corrected sharply before adding: "...and no, I just took my time...but I guess that's typical for a spoiled filly to you isn't it?"
Octavia quivered in her fur at her declaration.
She could feel how brittle her voice was and struggled to keep the emotions under control. Without so much as a prompting, she started trotting forward towards the blockade of ponies in her path. As she started to approach the group, the other ponies stood in shocked silence. Harpo having not caught the signals sooner finally realized what he had said and instinctively he cowered back a hoof, suddenly fearing physical harm from the grey earth pony. Octavia however ignored the action and instead continued forward, eyes, fogged as they were, looking to the exit. She had said all she planned to say now and her only focus was on leaving.
Frederic stood there beside his friend and wanted to say something. By some force of magic however, he found himself unable to even stutter and like Harpo, suddenly felt himself about to receive a vicious blow to the muzzle for his friend's disparaging rant. Octavia however ignored him as well; she had already had one fight with him, and after being humiliated, saw no point in a repeat performance. Instead, she simply continued on, passing the group entirely and trotting away from the fight that all the tension of immaturity in her was beckoning to partake in.
"Octavia! Wait!" Sousie shouted, finally breaking the nervous silence.
Octavia was tempted to ignore her, but stopped trotting, however she remained there, standing with her back to them.
"We were all thinking of going down to that bar we use to take-"
"It's fine, I'm not interested..." Octavia replied in as even a voice, that they barely heard her whimper.
She turned to face them, admitting that she was unable to say this without seeing them react. It was just too hard not to face them, and tell them without seeing the guilty looks in their eyes.
"...And why should I hang around with foul ponies like you lot anyway?"
All of them were painfully astonished when they saw Octavia's face contort like it was now, barely holding back the flow of emotion that the young mare was feeling in waves. Any attempt to console her at this point was inevitably lost, when the grey pony turned her back to them and trotted to the door. In a few seconds Octavia reached the door and with a tug of her mouth, she opened the doors and escaped to the outside, leaving her problem standing behind the solid wooden barriers to the building.
It was damp, it was dark and it was still coming down. The rain she had expected welcomed her back, just as it had said goodbye to her when she entered the building this morning. Having prepared for this, the grey mare simply withdrew her umbrella and lodged it into her saddlebag. It would not protect her face from the rain, but at times like this, Octavia accepted it as a necessity to protect her instrument, even if it was already protected from the rain by the water-resistant case. With another stifled breath, the grey mare made her way down the stairs and onto the street.
It was only then that Octavia finally let her repressed whimper become a sob.
When she finished, Octavia started to whimper again, but within the personal confines of her apartment, it quickly upgraded a quivering weep. Feeling the sudden need to dig herself a hole to cry in, she rolled over to face the back of the sofa and for a few minutes, the musician sobbed. Her dolls too accompanied her and suddenly found themselves bunched up in a tight hug from their owner.
"It's not fair...just before I thought they were done...he...he...goes and says that..." Octavia gasped out before burying her face in her dolls.
For another couple of minutes, Octavia stayed still, sniffing away the last of her grief and with it all out in the open, finally restoring her control over her emotions. When she felt herself ready to see the world again, Octavia blinked her eyes open, spotting from just a very short distance from her eyes five pairs of woven ones all looking back at her.
"I'm sorry...I just need to..." Octavia choked, "...let that out...I'm sorry I you had to see me like that,"
The Octavia doll spoke for the others.
"Thank you for understanding...I really shouldn't be burdening you with all of this,"
Ironically, it was Harpo who then followed his fellow doll's lead in comforting his owner.
"I know...Thank you Harpo...I needed to hear that," Octavia sighed elation, "You really are a gentlecolt sometimes..."
Octavia rolled her body over to the other side and again, brought her dolls along with her. When she finally found another comfortable spot for all her joints, she released her friends slowly from her crushing grasp, and allowed them to spread out between the wall of warm fur and the cliff edge of the sofa cushion. The five ponies fell off her fore-hooves and ended up laying like their animate owner, aside, on their belly or upside down. The grey mare considered lifting Sousie off her own doll’s fluffy belly but decided against it and started to feel just a little jealous for them.
Laying motionless with the warm protection of their surroundings, Octavia felt like they were enjoying the sort of paradise a working-class Pony could only dream of in the most sensual of fantasies. Lavished and indolent like spoiled foals, they looked to be enjoying their owner's loving company, which to Octavia her entire world now revolved around. Before long though, Sousie had a question.
"I'm feeling much better now...thank you..." Octavia sighed, her eyes already feeling exhausted.
The grey mare sighed with contentment and just left herself bleed off the additional stress that she had pent up until now. She really just wanted to forget about the whole incident in the lobby, but Octavia’s lingering doubts refused to leave her. Another question was asked.
"I guess so...I don't know what to say to these ponies...they just won't listen to me anymore..." Octavia explained, "...I know I've gotten on their nerves in the past...and that I've made mistakes too...But they are so unforgiving now...they won't even listen to me when it's really important."
The Frederic doll took that all in and looked like it had a perplexing look for a moment. Then he asked something.
"You know I can't do that...It would be terrible to do that...they just would hate me even more," Octavia sighed.
"Yes...it is terrible...but I guess its a good thing that I don't have to see them until Monday." Octavia sighed contently.
Octavia finally felt at ease again and instinctively felt the need to brush the fur on her flank. She rubbed a hoof against the Cutie-mark that had destined her to end up in Canterlot and work for the renowned Conservatorium. It felt warm to the touch, but under her fur she felt a tinge of muscle soreness. The grey mare didn't need to tell herself why she felt a sudden muscle twitch when she applied pressure, it was an age old problem with standing on one's hind legs all the time. She should've seen a masseur about it earlier in the week, but she had become used to the strain now from standing too long.
"Yes...it hurts a little..." the musician replied to the question her miniature self asked, "...but I'm comfortable now...all I need is a rest..."
Octavia lazily blinked her eyes. She was already starting to feel the last stage of her fatigue and wondered if maybe now was the time to put her companions to bed and follow their example. It was a classic struggle of temptation against will. Under ordinary circumstances it wouldn't have been a question for will to defeat her temptation, but tonight had been anything but normal. It was the end of the working week, she felt comfortable where she was and her company certainly didn't want her to go away. With a slow breath, Octavia closed her eyes and snuggled up against the pillow, stretching where she could and letting her body shut down for the day.
For the first time today, Octavia finally felt herself slip into contented rest.
Her eyes snapped open at the directionless sound of violent thumping.
Like any pony awoken by force, Octavia’s mind initially reacted instinctively by sensing the usual confusing sense of vulnerability one felt in the immediate moments after a violent return to consciousness. Her mind remained in the brief state of befuddlement after that chill of a feeling she always compared to whenever she was awoken from a nightmare. That assumption evaporated when the mare finally woke up and started to apply rationality to recall what awoke her.
The Grey mare however was not afforded that chance and in the moments before she fully composed herself. Octavia was shaken again by the repeated sound that woke her up, now louder without the barrier of consciousness to muffle the sound. Even with the rationality returned, the musician couldn’t have stopped the first instinct to come to mind at hearing the door and heaved herself off the couch in a swift motion. To her unpreventable dismay, this had the effect of throwing her dolls about in a random series of trajectories an act Octavia instantly regretted it at once.
“Oh I’m sorry everyone!” Octavia fretted as she rapidly got clear of where her friends had landed, as always fearing to tread on one.
To Octavia's fortune, this accidental act soon proved important in prompting her to the fact that her dolls had to be put away, something that she might not have noticed otherwise. The grey mare put off answering the door and started looking for her dolls. Octavia eventually noticed that her cabinet was on full display. Before panic had the chance to overtake her emotional balance, Octavia trotted clear of the sofa, turned, and counted her friends off as she found them.
“Sousie, Harpo, Vinyl, Frederic...Octavia...good, thats all of them!” Octavia winced at finding her miniature self the furthest away from the lot, having landed on the opposite sofa.
In a brief moment of controlled panic, she briefly ignored taking exquisite care of her friends and grabbed them all for a quick trip back to the cabinet they lived in. Upon returning them, the musician at least took the time to assuage their fears.
“Now don't worry...just be very quiet and they won’t see you.” Octavia whispered, already fearing whoever was awaiting her on the other side of the door.
A third set of loud thumps punctuated that thought.
Scared, Octavia gently closed the doors on the cabinet and quickly drew the curtains back. Ensuring no doll was left behind, Octavia quickly scanned the living room for any tell tale signs of her secret hobby. The most obvious clue was instantly spotted on the coffee table.
“Oh no!” Octavia yelped and trotted to over to the offending item.
Without hesitation, she rapidly replaced the lid to the blue box her Cadence had come in, which in turn was followed by its reinsertion into the mail package that it had arrived in. To her semi-rational thinking, even if the visitor had asked, it would just look like any other boring thing Octavia had in her apartment. Finding solace for just a brief moment after her impromptu act of creative genius, her respite from panic was interrupted by the fourth set of thumps from her door.
“I’m Coming!” Octavia announced, but instantly regretted it.
Given her distraction with her dolls up until this moment, she didn’t even consider who might’ve been at the door. Now free of said distraction, A chill went down her spine and automatically Octavia tried to work out who would honestly be stopping by at this late in the evening. Even for a Friday, at a time when she would normally be going to sleep was a little worrisome.
‘Okay...think Octavia...who is it likely to be...who knows where you live?’ Octavia calmly considered, then shuddered, as she took another scan of her surroundings and ignored the piece of dinner she had forgotten to clean up.
That list of ponies was quite large once you added her friends-turned-enemies, some other associates she worked for, her family back in the country, the baker she used to talk to, the delivery ponies and the Palace Conservatory senior administrators. But it could just as easily be a neighbour looking to complain about something she did, not that it made any sense this late at night. But then again, what if it wasn’t somepony she knew?
The door was knocked for a fifth time, prompting Octavia to panic even more.
“Okay...Okay...if it’s anypony I didn't know, they wouldn't have waited this long already...I’ll just go and tell them I’m not really in the mood...and tell them to go away...” Octavia summarized her plan, then told herself to remain calm and to get back into her stoic posture she reserved for the outside world.
On her way to the door, Octavia briefly stopped by a mirror to spot-check her appearance and noticing a few hairs were askew from her sleep. When she corrected herself for the look a dignified pony should have, the mare continued for the door, but found herself stopping when a pronouncement suddenly bellowed through the barrier separating her apartment from the outside.
“Oh come on Tavi...hurry up already!” Spoke a brash, but raspy voice.
Octavia paused for a moment and tried to put a name to the familiar sounding voice.
After a few moments of searching her recollection, Octavia still couldn’t figure out who it was. In a less hastened moment, the grey mare could have easily dismissed it as a product of being here a long enough time for certain parts of her own memory being forgetful, especially things that occurred when she first moved to the capital. Troubled by the thought of being unable to remember the name for this familiar voice, the mare simply resorted to looking through the spyglass on her door to-
The poor earth mare fell off her hooves when she surprised by seeing broad purple shades looking back at her from an inch away. From behind the door, the voice seemed to take note of the muted thump caused by Octavia and continued speaking.
“Hey Octavia! I know you’re in there! Hurry up and let me in...I need to take a leak!”
Octavia composed herself and decided to - without remembering the name associated with the voice - reached out and cracked open the door ajar to see who it was.
“About time!” The mare outside chuckled, “Were you taking a nap or something?”
Octavia raised her head, but before she started sensing familiarity with the voice before her, she stopped frozen at the purple reflective sunglasses looking back at her again. She should have known better and it should have been obvious without any sort of hesitation on her part: the sudden appearance, the relentlessness, the brash vocabulary and the snappish chuckle, and those reflective sunglasses that she never seemed to take off. But even with her recent shock, rationally how likely was it for Vinyl Scratch - whom she had not seen in over five months - to visit her, or she belatedly realized, know where she lived?
“Tavi!” Vinyl grinned that cheekiest of smiles, “All my wubs, I haven’t seen you in ages!”
Octavia remained in stunned silence. Inside the grey mare however, she was desperately trying to catch up with her thoughts before her visitor said something else that would add to her mental cocktail of befuddlement. Vinyl however, ever being the obvious mare she could be, would continue to deny her that chance.
"You're surprised look is funny!" Vinyl chuckled and continued on "So...Well, are you going to let me in? And can I use your bathroom...I've been busting for a leak since I left the bar!"
This most outrageous of requests had enough of an effect to make Octavia snap out of her stupor of confusion. Her ever fearful vanity provided Octavia with her horror at being spotted with this vulgar unicorn talking to her. For that very reason, the grey mare involuntarily ushered her visitor inside before somepony saw. Whether or not she really wanted Vinyl to come inside or not was beside the point; it was for the moment path of least resistance.
For the white unicorn's part, her host's ecstatic reaction to her question had been a rather funny punctuation to her surprise visit. Upon entering through the doorway, the white unicorn almost pranced along until she suddenly found herself standing in the dark, which she compensated for by lighting up her horn. As always, to a casual observer this would've proved unnecessary had Vinyl simply taken off her sunglasses, but it almost never occurred to the alabaster mare.
Octavia only needed to be blinded briefly by the neon light to be prompted to say so.
"Is that light really necessary?" Octavia questioned lamely as she tried to avoid the blinding glare.
"What?" Vinyl instinctively turned head to Octavia.
The grey mare's subsequent reaction to being blinded again was enough of a hint to make the unicorn instantly kill the magic in her horn.
"Sorry about that! I forget how bright this thing gets..." Vinyl chucked and finally took her glasses off, "...and sometimes I forget I even have them on."
For the first time since this afternoon, Octavia stifled a groaned despair, but quickly regained control of her composure in time to see Vinyl taking her first look at her surroundings. The mare already felt a mixed bag of emotions in the last few minutes as far ranging as they were confusing and now Octavia again found herself confronted with a new one. For the first time since she moved to Canterlot, the mare suddenly had somepony visit her home, and more importantly was about to comment on how earth pony had decorated her abode. Octavia's confused thoughts were replaced with tense anticipation.
To her relief after a short while, it seemed Vinyl was impressed with what she saw.
"Nice place you have here,"
Had things not been so abrupt with her guest's arrival - and her eyes not felt as though they were on fire just before - Octavia would have almost blushed at that comment. Regardless of how it came about, the mare still felt her moment of elation and instantly started to summon the proper words to express her gratitude.
"Thank you," Octavia gently replied, then challenged herself to press, "So...Vinyl...what brings you-?"
Such a chance came too late once again as her guest cut her off to discuss more pressing matters.
"Sorry to ask straight away but...where is your loo? I'm not kidding, I'm really busting..." Vinyl asked abruptly, "...Or can I do it here?"
The sudden mental visuals that accompanied that unexpected sentence almost sent Octavia into an convulsive spasm. Fearing that Vinyl might be serious and stain her carpet with more than just her probably dirty hooves, the grey mare directed her visitor to where she wanted to go.
"Thanks Tavi!" Vinyl chuckled, again finding the expression on Octavia's face impressive and funny at the same time.
Without concerning herself about assuring her host that she was at least house trained, Vinyl made her way in direction Octavia pointed, and quickly found the way to the bathroom. There was some residual temptation to follow her to the door; Octavia stood there and heard the door close. Only then did it dawn on her that she had just let an almost complete stranger walk on in and use her bathroom without so much as an argument. The embarrassing realization was only punctuated by yet another announcement.
"Hey your bathroom is nice too!" Vinyl commented from behind the door.
Octavia quietly groaned again and for the first time since she woke up a few minutes ago, tried to understand what was going on. First off: did she just invite her into the apartment in fear of other ponies seeing her with this loudmouth? And second: did Vinyl really come all this way to use her toilet without so much as an explanation for why she was here? At least there was one aspect of Vinyl's behaviour that remained comfortably unchanged but it was still enough to give Octavia the beginnings of a headache.
Describing Vinyl Scratch to the uninitiated was a rather complicated task made more difficult by the fact that Octavia had yet to meet anypony else quite like this white unicorn. The unicorn was native to Canterlot and well-known for talents as a disk jockey. Vinyl was also something of an amateur composer for some rather 'experimental' or 'unconventional' - as Octavia put it - compositions. Put another way and in a vastly simplified explanation, when it came to her line of work, Vinyl was in fact everything Octavia strived not to be.
They had met for the first time not long after Octavia had joined The Conservatorium. On one of her earlier adventures to the bar, Frederic had introduced the young mare to Vinyl. At first the earth pony had some reservations about communicating with this eccentric unicorn, however any concern she had disappeared once they started talking. From the start, Octavia was surprised at how well she got on with Vinyl. Most of it was due to the unicorn's surprising defiance to the assumption that classical music was a dated form of performance. At the same time however, the unicorn was rather strong-willed on insisting she was a composer without limits, and had made it a rule to refuse to conform to the strict rules of composition that Octavia was bound to.
In that respect, this made Vinyl something of an odd match to the perfectionist performer, whom had impressed Vinyl with her country-born tenacity and endurance to play a heavy instrument while standing on her hind legs. But as enjoyable as it was to talk to Vinyl, it did not come without its limitations. Owing to her usually nocturnal nature, Octavia was not able to meet up with the unicorn anywhere other than at the same bar that Frederic and the others always frequented.
At first this was merely a quirk in their burgeoning friendship. However, as time went on and her relationship with her co-workers began to wilt into nonexistence, so did the mare’s confidence in seeing her friend in the bar. Eventually without so much as a warning, Octavia stopped visiting the bar. She had soon after considered getting in contact with her in other ways, but by now the earth pony had long since given up on those endeavours.
By all accounts, the mare figured that the unicorn would've forgotten about her and things would've gone on as they always did for this rebellious composer. But evidently, as of five minutes ago, Octavia had been proven wrong.
"That felt good," The white unicorn announced, again expelling more information than was required, "... I'm sorry about that...I guess I need to cut back on the drinks."
"You're welcome," The grey earth pony countered as kindly as manners made her.
Octavia habitually attempted to sniff for alcohol, but to her amazement found that Vinyl did not smell of liquor.
'Sober?' Octavia pondered, but spoke more directly on a more pressing matter, "So now that you've...can you now tell me why you're here?"
Vinyl almost tempted herself with a blush at realizing she had not even explained herself yet. That however was a simple expedience to overcome.
"I forgot about that didn't I...well to be honest I wanted to see if I could drag you down to a bar and talk like old times...but from the sounds of what Harpo said to you...I don't blame you for staying home,"
That struck a chord with her.
"You heard? What did-" Octavia gasped out, but was cut off.
"Don't worry...I slugged him one for you," Vinyl rolled her eyes at that most understated remark. She had done more than just slug him, but why bother confusing her with the details.
"I don't care how long I've known someone, what he said was uncalled for..." Vinyl elaborated, "...he says sorry...but feel free to slug him when you see him on Monday."
Octavia trembled silently at what she had just learnt.
Not once in a very long time had anypony ever stood up for her. More so since Octavia had almost grown to expect nopony would ever defend her when she needed it, especially after her social life started to fail around her and the country-mare had retreated to reclusiveness to save her self-esteem. One only had to look at today to look for evidence of this specific belief.
It had not surprised Octavia that her co-workers might have related their side of story to somepony else, but what bewildered the mare was that Vinyl had stood up for her. Even in her absence, the albaster unicorn had apparently - though without anyway of knowing for sure - defended Octavia with the sort of defiance that the unicorn already spoke volumes of. It was enough to stun the grey pony into a befuddled stutter.
"No need to thank me," Vinyl chuckled, but inwardly worried at strained look of shock on Octavia's face.
Vinyl wasn't surprised that Octavia might have been shocked by her selfless act of initiative. But when the look on the earth pony's face hung for a greater portion of time than she was comfortable with, the unicorn instantly pondered how much of an impression this had made on her estranged friend. It nonetheless prompted the white mare to move along in her planned social pleasantries.
"So, how about something to drink, we have a lot to catch up on..."
To her belated surprise, it only seemed to occur to Octavia now that she had a visitor she had to host for.
In her own defence, the shock of the previous minutes after Vinyl's sudden arrival had made her forget. But now that things had calmed down, it finally caught on to her and in turn led Octavia into a bout of hesitation. For the moment though, Octavia tried to summon the courage to ignore how late in the evening it was and at least be happy to see Vinyl, even at the risk of disquieting her neighbours.
"Of course...I'm sorry I haven't got anything...much..." Octavia stumbled out as she turned to turn on a light in her living room, "...would you like some tea?"
"Bleh!" Vinyl spat out "Nothing fancy...just coffee if you have some,"
Octavia thanked Luna that protestation didn't come out with actual spittle raining upon her carpet and dutifully went to make Vinyl a cup of her choice beverage. Sensing some of the ice broken, the unicorn followed both her initiative and the grey mare to continue their discussion.
"This is a really nice place," Vinyl repeated her compliment, "...kind of fancy for my taste though."
"Thank you," The grey mare repeated.
Octavia went to work making both of them something to drink. After visiting her icebox the mare continued to gather everything she needed to make a cup of tea and a cup of coffee. In short order, Octavia had done everything but boil the water, which oversight was quickly addressed. As the earth pony accomplished this, Vinyl entertained herself by pondering at the theoretical price tag of a painting that adorned the entrance.
When the grey mare was freed from the engrossing task of making her a coffee, the unicorn finally started to speak.
"So what exactly have you been doing lately Octavia?"
Octavia turned away from her kettle to face her visitor, and found her surprised for her lack of an appropriate answer.
"Oh well I..." Octavia tried to summon something intelligent to talk about, but failed miserably. Falling back on instinct for times like this, Octavia turned to her best excuse at times like this.
"I've done a few things...but...your coffee will be done in a moment...so why don't you have a look around..." Octavia evaded answering.
The unicorn sighed at the same old excuse and at the same time felt a little sorry for Octavia. To the unicorn's way of thinking, she wouldn't have sounded any less intelligent when her sentences came out with an assortment of uneducated murmurs. But even in the confines of her own apartment, with no high expectations to meet, the classically trained musician still felt pressured by her finely tuned vanity to sound interesting.
Ignoring her own disappointment, Vinyl played along. She really wanted to crack some more of that social ice, and the unicorn knew as she said it that maybe this was another way around it.
"...Show me around?" Vinyl ventured.
Octavia couldn't refuse this.
"Oh...of course...there is not much though..." Octavia almost hesitated before adding: "...But I have a minute...Where would you like to start?"
The unicorn couldn't help herself and followed that up with a wry remark.
"The bedroom perhaps?" Vinyl slyly joked with as faux-seductive a tone she could muster.
Octavia failed to recognize the remark as what it was, and for the first time since she left work, muttered something decidedly uncivilized. Vinyl failed to catch the expletive the earth pony used, but the reaction alone made her chuckle. When the introverted pony realized belatedly what had happened, she made rapid attempt to save face and decided to follow through with her guest’s suggestion.
"Well, I guess it's as good a place to start," Octavia said in a voice that was wobbling for balance.
Vinyl stifled her chuckle and returned to neutral expression in short order, and with her host in the lead, followed her to the first destination in her minute long tour of the apartment.
Of what she was shown, the unicorn concluded a minute later that it was a very elegantly furnished apartment, even if it was really not to her taste. That didn't necessarily mean she hated it, but Vinyl still couldn't help but compare Octavia's apartment to a modest dollhouse a filly might want to live in. From a first glance however, the apartment did look and feel like Octavia; it was elegantly furnished, but at the same time it was astutely decorated in a way that resembled her. Vinyl could also tell that her friend had gone to remarkable lengths to create this comfortable home on her meager wages.
Vinyl had come to expect that everything in Octavia’s apartment was remarkably well organized, though in contrast to her living room, her bedroom looked remarkably austere. This however didn't denote that less attention had been given to her place of rest, and it showed; from the way she made-up her bed, to the complete absence of junk that would normally litter any elevated surface a pony could put something down on. In fact, the only thing that looked out of place had been the saddlebags she had probably worn to work today, propped up beside her instrument in a quiet corner.
The tour may have continued on to the bathroom that the unicorn was already familiar with, but Octavia's attention returned to the kettle when its whistling noise start to become audible. Wording her encouragement to continue looking around at the unicorn's own pleasure, Vinyl continued to do so and eventually returned to the living room. Now that her vision wasn't impaired by glasses or the absence of light, the room took on a whole different perspective, but still looked as regal as when the unicorn first saw it barely fifteen minutes ago.
Then, the alabaster unicorn was drawn to the windows.
Much like any other unattended guest, Vinyl was ultimately assuaged by curiosity and wanted to see what kind of view Octavia had - even at night - out any window. This subtle temptation was encouraged by the fact that she was on a higher floor. For this reason it was not long before Vinyl's instincts instructed her to trot over to the first of a pair of red curtains that lined two of the walls in the living room. Predictably Vinyl could see very little except for the distant lights of either the palace or something just as important. Seeking a better view, the unicorn proceeded to the other window.
Except there was no window here.
Had Octavia ever seriously considered this particular situation, she probably would have avoided matching up the two curtains with identical colours. But inevitably only hindsight was smart enough to realize such mistakes and what seemed like a good way of hiding something in plain sight now only improved its chance for discovery.
"Oh cool!" Vinyl commented after she drew the curtain "I didn't know you were a collector!"
Back in the kitchen, the blood in Octavia's veins froze harder than the harshest breath of a windigo. She had only started to lift the tray with everything a few inches off the bench when she heard Vinyl speak. Immediately the mare dropped it back down and raced out to confront Vinyl, finding her there by her cabinet with the curtain draw to show-
"Stop!" Octavia bellowed in a panic.
Vinyl was shocked to hear the demure mare scream and instantly let go of the curtain, letting it drop down and hide the cabinet again.
"What's the matter?" Vinyl replied just as rapidly, but became worried when Octavia continued to approach her.
Panic rarely gives a pony any sort of rationality and before she had even arrived in front of Vinyl, she yelped out a question that only punctuated the embarrassment she was feeling.
"What did you see!?"
"Uh...I saw some dolls..."
"Oh no..." Octavia whimpered, then lashed out: "Don't you ever respect anypony's privacy?!"
Instead of feeling offended, the alabaster unicorn instead became completely befuddled. Why was her friend suddenly acting excitable about her finding a cabinet full of dolls? It didn't feel like that much of a big deal, after all, her entire apartment already looked like a dollhouse, so what was so wrong with finding this? Sensing a need to explain herself, Vinyl at least started by telling the truth.
"...I thought it was a window..." Vinyl lamely replied
Octavia blinked away the tears that were starting to form, and instead glared at Vinyl in a mixture of confusion and distraught denial at what was happening. The grey mare at the very least attempted to rationalize for a split second, but it only ended up producing more frustration.
"Why would I have a window there!" Octavia complained.
She strained this time to be a lot quieter in deference to avoiding disturbing her neighbours this evening. But the muted tone provided an unnerving tone that quickly made Vinyl worry about what she had just done.
"Hang on Tavi...I just-"
"It's Octavia!" she cut her off.
"Octavia..." Vinyl corrected, then continued, "I'm sorry...I didn't mean to...what I mean is..."
Instinctively Vinyl took a hoofstep back and all of a sudden felt defensive, against what felt like an impending verbal tackle from a viciously angry earth pony. When one didn't come, the alabaster unicorn composed herself for a more definitive reply.
"I don’t get it...what has gotten into you?" Vinyl started, "Octavia...I don't know why you’re making a big deal over this...I thought this might be something you would do, and....I mean do you have any idea how cool this is?"
Octavia might've stumbled off her balance in befuddlement, but resisted the urge to do anything stupidly melodramatic after what she might've heard. The thought that she might have overreacted suddenly overtook her previous fear of embarrassment and at hearing Vinyl's assertion that they were cool made her feel rather stupid on the inside. In an attempt to overcome her own self-induced humiliation, she now tried to rationalize herself again.
That took effort, and thinking things through rationally whilst in an excited state was almost gruelling. Octavia however eventually caught up with the situation and figured out what to say.
"Sorry I didn't think you would understand...but you don't think there is anything wrong with it?"
Vinyl furrowed her forehead and wanted to say what automatically came to her mind, but the last two minutes of experience taught her to consider thing slowly before responding.
"Yes Octavia...they are just dolls aren't they...what's owning a few toys going to change what I think about you?"
And that had been Octavia's biggest fear: what if anypony thought ill of her after seeing her collection, or worse, noticed the suspicious plush dolls on the lower shelves? Rationally this might have sounded silly to anypony, but in recent times - and in light of today's events - Octavia had become rather unsure of what her guest might think of her doll collection. Reluctantly stepping back from the brink of this certain brand despair, Octavia started to feel better, and for as long as Vinyl didn't notice a certain lot of plush ponies, she wouldn't mind too much if the unicorn had a gander.
"Well I guess the cat is out of the saddle..." Octavia sighed, still feeling some reluctance, "...but it's true, I collect dolls...you can have a look if you want..."
To punctuated that statement, Octavia grabbed the curtain with her mouth and dragged it away until she revealed a larger part of the collection to her now bewildered guest. Predictably, Vinyl's simple vocabulary again picked a rather simple response to what she saw.
"Cool!" Vinyl drew out in a long breath before almost planting her muzzle against the glass to get a closer look before rapidly narrating what interested her "Wow...you have Wonderbolts...soldiers...oh cool, Princess Luna...don't know who this mare is...but this doesn't look that bad...oh who is this?"
Had Octavia not known Vinyl as well as she did, the musician might've prescribed her sudden and almost blatant conversion to childish excitement as a sign of mental instability. However it happened, Vinyl's reaction did on the other hoof make the grey mare a lot more comfortable with her disclosure than she might have been with somepony like Frederic. It even almost made her happy that this had happened in spite of her allayed concerns of a few minutes earlier.
But such concerns returned no sooner than a few seconds later.
"Can I have a closer look at them?" Vinyl asked, by which she really meant 'I want to play with them.'
Vinyl figured just then, that if she had the sort of patience for this collecting stuff, she might have also acquired a similar collection. However, if she did, hers would obviously have to be more interesting action-figure like dolls compared to Octavia's mostly glass and porcelain collection.
"They aren't toys Vinyl," Octavia kindly protested, "those are only suppose to be put on display."
"Displayed?" Vinyl asked as though offended "Then what about that one?" Vinyl pointed a hoof at the Wonderbolt dolls she had on display.
"Those are limited edition wooden joint dolls worth more than I earn a month...I'm sorry Vinyl I simply can't let you play with them," Octavia said with some guilt in her voice.
"I see..."
Vinyl slumped her head down in disappointment until she caught a glimpse of the dolls that lined the lower part of the wall cabinet. She hadn't really noticed them before in lieu of the more expensive looking ones that Octavia had evidently spent ruinous amounts on. But at seeing these dolls, she took note at their rather simple and what looked like play-friendly materials, which sparked Vinyl's interest again.
"What about these dolls?"
For a second time, Octavia's foresight has been betrayed by circumstance. By having all of her dolls in the one place, she thought her collection was safe from being discovered given how easy it was to hide one thing instead of a few things. But Octavia again had never really considered her guest's natural curiosity and this inevitably meant that the very dolls she had promised to hide would be soon be discovered.
Octavia this time stifled her reaction just enough that Vinyl failed to notice the grey mare going white with sheer terror.
"Oh those...I really don't want to..."
"Oh come on Octavia...they don't look fragile," Vinyl pleaded like a schoolfilly, "Please?"
Octavia thought about it extensively in the space of a few seconds. By the end of that minute time frame, she was still left with what was turning out to be the riskiest gamble on her acquaintance with Vinyl. In the end vanity won out and her delay in responding only made Octavia feel suspicious in the eyes of the unicorn.
"Well I guess taking out one or two can’t hurt.." Octavia reasoned, "...But be careful...okay?"
Vinyl's grin stretched upwards and without further hesitation used her magic to levitate out two Wonderbolts, a play-friendly version of Princess Cadence and an escorting royal guard from her friend's cabinet. At first, the alabaster unicorn did indeed look at them with something approaching fascination and admiration. That only lasted for as long as it took her inner child to overtake her curiosity, and instantly Vinyl started to play with them like she had as a filly.
"Wonderbolts cleared for take off!" Vinyl narrated to nobody, then made the necessary sound effect of the two pegasi taking off into the limited sky of Octavia's apartment.
At times like this, levitation was certainly something earth ponies felt jealous for, and despite her age, even Octavia felt a pang of resentment as Vinyl easily lofted the plush dolls into the air like the pegasi they imitated. With surprising control, Vinyl flew the two dolls up and around in a tight loop that defied what a real life pony could actually accomplish. Watching on, Octavia fretted for the safety of the lives of her dolls, while at the same time felt a suppressed giddy feeling at seeing her dolls come to life after a fashion.
After flying about in a wide arc to the other side of the room, Vinyl brought her two Wonderbolts in for a gentle two-point landing on one of the two velvet sofas, just short of the Princess and her escort, posed as if they were there to greet the aerobatic ponies. The landing might have been a little too rough for what a real pegasus might be able to endure, but she was fairly impressive with how well Vinyl had controlled the two.
"That was..." Octavia dripped out as she attempted to find the word to describe it.
"Neat? Awesome? Amazing?" Vinyl offered words.
"Well I guess so..." Octavia surmised to agree, but then continued to say, "Anyway can you please put them back now, that's enough fun with them don't you think?"
"Aw...do I have to?" Vinyl asked with the sort of whine that a filly would make.
Octavia almost groaned at that protestation, but in another attempt to hide her concern let out a sigh instead. The worst part was somewhere deep inside Octavia, she almost wanted to play with some dolls too, but her imagined reaction Vinyl might have to those certain dolls were enough to expunge any temptation.
"Please Vinyl...your coffee is going to cool down," Octavia reminded her.
"I guess so, but I don't see why not..." Vinyl sighed, "...I haven't had this much fun with dolls since I was filly,"
For some reason, Octavia caught herself bewildered by that remark.
"You played with dolls?" The grey mare asked skeptically.
Vinyl paused to look up at her host with something scaling between surprise and hurt. But then she chuckled to herself when she realized how out of place the last minute might have looked to her friend.
"Of course I did!" Vinyl replied with stifled laughter, "I wasn't a disk jockey all my life...didn't you ever play with dolls as a filly?"
Octavia sighed and tried to move on from that question and towards her tea, but in the natural course of events, she instinctively answered it.
"Well...no, not really..." The grey mare replied honestly, "I grew up in a large family remember? My parents couldn't just buy me a toy nopony else could play with."
Vinyl's expression showed surprise, even more than when she had heard Frederick’s version of what happened in the lobby. How could she have missed this little tidbit about her earth pony friend? Nonetheless, if her friend had never played with dolls, then it was something that Vinyl felt she needed to address at once.
"Well no wonder!" Vinyl gasped out "Come on Octavia...we need to correct that this instant...dolls shouldn't be stuffed into a cabinet, they should be played with!"
Under different circumstances, Octavia might have chuckled at that most absurd of suggestions from her friend, but she had easily noticed that Vinyl was actually serious.
"Vinyl...not a filly anymore," The earth pony reasoned, "Come on...lets talk about this over some tea,"
“Fine...but you promise to show me the rest of your collection later?”Vinyl asked hopefully.
Octavia sighed, sensing her trapped by the moment again.
The grey mare knew that after that burst of filly’ish behavior her unicorn friend would not limit it to just looking at the dolls.
“Maybe later...” Octavia reluctantly offered.
“Sweet” Vinyl cheered and started to trot over to the table. To Octavia’s dismay, her unicorn friend brought with her four additional guests to tea.
Watching on, Octavia wasn't exactly sure how her day had come to this.
Whilst the grey mare was a fairly intelligent pony in her own right, at the moment knowledge or wisdom didn't seem to have a place in comprehending the present situation. The first problem was trying to consider how the depressing events throughout her day had come to culminate in this rather silly non-sequitur moment she was sharing with Vinyl. Next was the attempt to fathom how she came to not only allow her friend to play with her dolls, but find herself on the floor watching Vinyl act as if she was a little filly again. But the most pressing concern for the mare was why she had somehow come to accept and even to start enjoying this a little bit of horseplay conducted by her friend.
In a broader sense, Octavia knew just how out of place this moment was with the rest of her day. Just four hours ago she had been cleaning up after the others in that darkened music room, an event that was rudely followed by the discovery of what her former friends would call her behind her tail. That encounter had sent Octavia to trot home in tears, sobbing until finally she found wistful rest as she embraced her companions and fell asleep on the couch.
But just before she thought the day had ended, Octavia was suddenly awoken and eventually came face to face with somepony the mare thought had forgotten all about her. After another minor panic involving a curtain, she was now sitting down, sipping her tea and felt herself competing for her visitor’s attention. To her surprise, Vinyl was becoming engrossed with the quartet of dolls that she had brought to the table. It was enough to make Octavia wonder what might happen next and shiver at the prospect of something contrived that might fulfill that.
Reluctantly Octavia was secretly fine with this, for it would relieve a much heavier burden of worry off her haunches. As long as Vinyl didn't become engrossed in the cabinet again for more dolls to play with, the grey mare wouldn’t find herself worrying about the accidental discovery of several ponies tucked away in a corner of the cabinet. For whatever good fortune that came with Vinyl’s apparent interest in dolls, Octavia wasn’t quite ready to gamble that her unicorn friend understood why there was a doll that looked like her.
“So how are your working on integrating classical instruments into a new composition?” Octavia continued to discuss, knowing as she would probably not receive an answer. ‘I didn't think it was possible, but she’s getting pretty attached to those dolls,’ Octavia sighed.
Octavia sipped her tea and continued to stare at the aerobatics, until she unknowingly drifted off in a daze. She at least felt comforted by knowing that Vinyl hadn’t forgotten about her and over the course of twenty minutes, the two of them had caught up on affairs and briefly talked about what they were upto. But like she had promised, the grey earth pony had inevitably reintroduced the talk about her dolls during their discussion over tea and coffee. As predicted,.Vinyl Scratch had not failed to limit it to talk and within minutes the plush pegasi she had played with before had come out for a repeat performance.
“Something wrong Tavi?” Vinyl asked, looking up and almost giggling at the funny look on Octavia’s face.
Octavia blinked her daze clear and focused on answering her field.
“No...nothing, I just don’t understand what led to this...” she spoke in a dull voice, “...But I guess a lot of things happened today.”
“Are you still worried about what's already happened?” Vinyl asked with a chuckle, then prodded on, “When are you ever going to stop thinking about the how and why...you weren't always this slow,”
Octavia took offence to that, but managed to suppress the flush of anger she felt.
“Come on...forget about what happened today already...” Vinyl got up and stretched her back legs, “How about you show me the rest of the collection now?”
Octavia almost spat out her tea in reprisal of her fears from before.
“Are you sure we can’t do this another time?” Octavia asked evenly, “It is getting pretty late.”
Vinyl simply chuckled outrageously at that suggestion.
“You’re funny Octavia...there is no such thing as too late, just later,” the unicorn spelled out, “Besides what's a few minutes of your time?”
The earth pony felt trapped and for more than just her paranoid reasons. If she said no, would that set off suspicion in Vinyl? And could she be offended afterwards? Octavia started to feel the recently vacated worry return in droves. This time, Octavia couldn’t avoid showing her worry, something that Vinyl detected at once.
“Come on Octavia...you promised, remember?” Vinyl said with some sympathy.
It took another half minute of silent reluctance, but eventually Octavia guided her friend over to the collection. After ensuring the return of the dolls that Vinyl had borrowed, Octavia pulled the curtain again to display the rest of the dolls in her collection. Behind her, Vinyl returned to her previous state of awe.
“Cool...” Vinyl expressed again.
Octavia calmly started to point out anything of interest to her guest, all with the hidden goal of successfully avoiding the unicorn’s eyes from straying towards the bottom rows again. To her displeasure though, Vinyl kept glancing down towards those dolls whenever she had the chance, finding them more more interesting than the ones Octavia was talking about. Inevitably, the unicorn eventually exhausted the earth pony of any impressive porcelain dolls to show off to her guest, leaving only those that she had been avoiding to show her guest.
Despite how rude it might have sounded, this time Octavia voiced her reluctance.
“Oh come on Tavi, what’s wrong with showing me these dolls?”
Had those certain dolls been elsewhere, she would never have been so concerned, but Octavia simply couldn't tell her the truth. So she tried to scramble together another lie.
“I’m pretty sure we can save it for another time,”
“But I’m right here now, so why not?”
Stress started to affect her creativity and like any pony under the strain of hiding something, Octavia simply couldn’t convince her friend to leave them alone. At this point, her excuses would start to have the opposite effect, as Vinyl started to find the mare’s explanations slightly amusing. It also made her slightly concerned about how Octavia was acting, seemingly concerned about offending her with something that she had already expressed approval of. It even started to worry the unicorn a bit about the possibility of another surprise; but what could Octavia possibly have that she was so afraid to show her?
Vinyl felt a little guilty for a moment, but had it been so bad before when she first discovered the cabinet? Fatefully, the unicorn decided it was just Octavia being a little paranoid again, something she also noticed that had clearly gotten worse since they last met. Not even when they used to talk at the bar was the grey earth pony ever this worried about something. Had her seclusion made her that way, and come to think of it, why had she become so secluded in the first place?
She knew part of the reason already, if the account she had gotten from her coworkers was accurate, but that didn’t seem to explain why she was so worried now. Vinyl simply refused to believe that Octavia had become so vain, and what could she have in here that was so embarrassing anyway?
Before the earth pony managed to fix together an attempt to save herself from her worst nightmare, Vinyl had already taken the liberty to focus her eyes on the rows of plush dolls that were gathered together in little groups.
“I don't know why you're so ashamed of these ones...they are much easier to play with...” Vinyl glanced down the line until she spotted a pony on the end, “Oh hey...what's wrong with this one?”
Octavia’s blood froze when she saw Vinyl approach the dolls. Quickly she started to have regrets again. Maybe if she had hidden them better, or at the very least taken more than a second to put them away, or had put them somewhere other than with the collection...or just maybe disposed of them back when her friends had become bullies... Regardless, Octavia held onto the hope that maybe she wouldn’t notice and watched on as her world tipped closer to collapse.
“Hey you left this fellow upside down!” Vinyl chuckled as she levitated the smart looking blue stallion. Dressed to the tail in his best evening wear, he looked impeccable from his nicely kempt mane to his shiny shoes.
“What’s this fellow’s name?
Octavia grimaced as Vinyl levitated Harpo out and placed him upright.
“I’m not sure...I never gave him a name...” Octavia lied.
“What?!” Vinyl spun on her hooves in shock, “You never named him? How could you!”
“I’m sorry” Octavia whimpered.
“Well, what about these other ones, do any of them have names?” Vinyl asked, pointing a hoof at the other ponies piled together in an unusual display of disorder in her very organized cabinet.
“No...I couldn’t think of one for any of the dolls...” Octavia sweated out.
“Thats cruel! Even for you!” Vinyl protested her loudest since she arrived.
“Quiet down,” Octavia quickly shushed, “The neighbours might be sleeping!”
“Oh come on Octavia, its Friday, and it’s Canterlot, most of them are probably out at the opera if they are the snobby types, or at the bar if they are normal ponies,”
“Thats not true...” Octavia protested, though knew that it was perhaps true.
“Well, I guess I can forgive you for not learning this as a filly, but rule number 1: Always name your dolls,” Vinyl explained as seriously as she could while chuckling at the perplexed look on Octavia’s face.
“I understand...I’ll try think of some....”
“Now?” Vinyl suggested.
“Really?” Octavia panned out slowly, “Vinyl, can’t we do this another time?”
Vinyl noticed her friend starting to hesitate again. Was this what she was so afraid of? Maybe it really was just paranoia, after all there wasn't anything harmful about these certain dolls.
“No excuses, now you take a good look at him and think of a good name while I look at these ones,”
Octavia took custody of Harpo and looked on as Vinyl inadvertently dug out another doll version of a band member.
‘I’m so sorry this happened to you Harpo...’ Octavia thought to the doll, ‘Promise me when this is all over, that you’ll forgive me, okay?’
The doll failed to respond, but Vinyl did.
“This one is pretty” The unicorn spoke as she unwittingly held up her own doll.
Octavia froze and this time it wasn’t just the chilling feeling she got in her bloodstream. This time the mare could have sworn with the utmost certainty that she was actually frozen in place for a brief span of time. By the time she had recovered from the shock, Vinyl had apparently not yet let go of this doll and was becoming strangely intrigued by it.
“I wonder if...” The unicorn smirked.
Grinning like a little filly, Vinyl proceeded to do what every young colt ever did to a doll if they happened to pick it up and proceeded to-
“Stop!” Octavia shouted.
Vinyl stopped at once and turned to see Octavia almost pounce from where she was standing. It was just too hard not to laugh at how silly she looked right at that moment.
“Oh Octavia...” Vinyl chuckled, “...haven’t you ever peeked up the skirt of a doll before? And ponies don't usually wear clothes so why would it matter?”
Without rebuttal, Octavia simply watched on as she witnessed what felt like the end of her life.
Vinyl turned back and pulled down the frilly underwear that it apparently wore under the dress.
To unicorn’s surprise, it indeed had a cutie mark on its flank in the form of what looked like a pair of black eighth notes. Vinyl was a little impressed by that; not only was the doll so detailed as to have have a cutie mark but that it also sported a pair of eighth notes, quite like her...actually exactly like hers. Curious at the coincidence, Vinyl took another look at the doll's face and after a few moments of close inspection found herself baffled with an undescribed feeling of Deja Vu.
With a more detailed examination, she noted that it certainly wasn't identical to her in every way, especially considering there was no way her two-tone blue mane would ever be this well maintained. But apart from the hair being done up, the doll had the same features Vinyl had. To top it off, this alabaster coloured unicorn even had the same magenta coloured eyes. In fact the only thing missing from this doll were the sunglasses, but apart from that it was undoubtedly a scaled down plushie version of Vinyl Scratch dressed in a ballroom gown.
Octavia would never have believed her, but Vinyl’s first reaction was one of amusement. It was even kind of funny in a cute way to see herself dressed up like this. But then Vinyl started to ponder about the identify of other doll she had held before. Holding up the other doll, it didn't take too much imagination for Vinyl to recognize this doll as a remarkably accurate representation of Sousie. This time the unicorn felt a pang of confusion. Had it been just been the one doll, Vinyl might’ve passed it off as a remarkable resemblance, but what were the odd thats two dolls just happened to resemble two ponies Octavia knew?
Sensing a need to confirm her suspicions or at least assure herself it was just a coincidence, Vinyl turned to look for another doll. By some remarkably cruel fate, Vinyl picked up what turned out to be a plush doll version of Octavia; just as the previous two, this one looked exactly like the real pony. Now it wasn’t even close to a coincidence; through some extraordinary circumstances Vinyl was holding scale-model versions of herself and some of her friends. Curious for answers, she turned to the real Octavia and promptly realized the mare was struggling for control over her feelings.
Until now, the earth pony was trying to deny everything that was happening, willing for all of this to be some sort of horrible nightmare. But when Vinyl turned to face her, Octavia finally found herself confronted with only reality and in the face of darkest fears; the mare instantly tried to save herself from rejection.
Just saying that seemed to exhaust the pony and in short order her legs gave out, making her drop to the carpet floor. Having said what came naturally, Octavia then submitted to the belief that it would not matter and instinctively buried her face into her front hooves and started to cry.
As that happened, Vinyl herself was stuck in place with all kinds of emotions to run through her system.
Predominant among those feelings was the still irksome sense she still felt about her recent discovery. Through her own admission, Octavia had apparently created doll versions of not only herself, but also her co-workers and her unicorn friend. For a brief moment, Vinyl couldn’t decide if it was either a little too narcissistic for the demure Octavia, or just a little bit creepy. Either way, she concluded awkwardly that her friend evidently had not intended her to find out about it.
That realization only added to her now growing guilt about inadvertently stressing Octavia to breaking point. Vinyl found herself at odds with her own feelings. Was she mad or perhaps creeped out at Octavia for making a doll that looked like her or was she completely heartbroken at what she had done by forcing this secret of hers out into the open?
“Please...” Octavia spoke between sobs, “Please listen to me...”
This caught Vinyl’s attention and she looked up to see Octavia still burying her face from the world.
“Please...even...even if you decide to leave......” She continued to heave, “...just listen to me...”
Sensing no reason not to at least give her friend a chance to explain herself, Vinyl placed her doll aside and lay down in front of Octavia.
“I’ll listen...”
Octavia heard her response and thanked Celestia, Luna and Cadence all at once for the one chance she had left before Vinyl would walk out on her. Regardless of how she felt, if it was going to be the last time she spoke to the unicorn, the grey earth pony could at least do so facing her. Summoning the strength to pull her head up, Octavia faced Vinyl who was only sitting a few hooves away. It did surprise her, but then she caught a glance at the the look the unicorn had on her face. She had expected some form of visible anger but she instead had the look of remorse.
In hindsight, she would admit that her explanation had been poorly planned, but in times of panic, organized thoughts seldom dominated the mind of a distressed pony. Nonetheless, sensing the moment quickly slipping away, Octavia started to elaborate.
“It all started...” Octavia paused and started again, “...wait...do...do you remember seven months ago...when i said i wanted to give you all something as a present for hearths warming?”
Vinyl pondered why that was relevant, but searched her memories for what she was referring to.
“Yeah...I think...you got all of us boxes of candy and you said you lost your co-workers present right? But what does that have to do with this?”
Octavia breathed again as she started to answer.
“That part about the presents lost wasn’t true,” Octavia confessed, then in rapid succession elaborated, “I actually intended to give everyone these dolls...one for each of us...because I thought it would be a cute gift and honestly...if I was still a little filly...I would’ve done anything to have a doll that looked liked me...so i got one for myself as well...”
Octavia paused and tried to breathe slower before she continued. Sensing a chance to talk, Vinyl attempted to ask a question.
“Then why-” Vinyl started, but was interrupted by Octavia again.
“It was because of that big fight I had with Frederic and the others, do you remember that?”
“I think I do...it was over some gala performance where someone stole a pie right?”
Octavia nodded, quietly glad that Vinyl didn't need to be reminded.
“Well after that had happened...things had become very strange between us...and I didn’t know what I could have done....so I kept the dolls...I thought maybe when things got better I could maybe give them away for Hearts and Hooves Day...or on their birthdays....”
Octavia sniffled and lowered her head again for a moment. Vinyl took her drooping head as a prompt for her to ask another question.
“But something else happened, didn’t it?”
“No...well...yes...I mean...I just...I didn't have a chance...” Octavia paused, “...and by the time I had the dolls made, things were starting to get worse...”
“Worse how?” Vinyl prodded
“It...all started shortly after that fight,” Octavia explained, ”When we were all told...well I was told to improve our performance, at first they just made jokes about it like they did about me...but after awhile...they started turning against me.”
“Turned against you?!” Vinyl asked with some surprise, “How?”
Octavia tried to control her voice but she couldn't help it as her reply became rapid again.
“Well...It started with them teasing me like normal and not taking it seriously...I tried to ignore the jokes and to encourage them to take it seriously...but they thought I was being a control freak and just stopped trying to improve...then they started making insults instead of jokes... and then...now I think they like to screw up on purpose just to get at me...and the worst part is that I don’t even know if they realize how many times i’ve made excuses for them.”
Vinyl felt a chill just then and started to realize there was more to this dilemma than what she had initially thought.
“What do you mean?”
“The instructor keeps telling me that we all need to improve, but because of how things have become...I try to take the blame whenever its one of them that messes up,”
Octavia paused, and left that confession to hang in the air.
Up until now, Vinyl had always wondered the circumstances behind why Octavia had stopped seeing her at the bar, but the unicorn still sensed something was amiss. Despite the explanation for the dolls and the chilling confession about her life problems, the unicorn was still unable to work out why Octavia become so self conscious about the slightest things. Even with something as odd as these custom made dolls, that still failed to explain how her confidence had become so fragile over something that turned out to be rather trivial.
Then Vinyl sensed a weird familiarity about all of this, something that came from the deepest parts of her memory. The unicorn racked her brain to figure out what made Octavia’s dilemma sound so similar, but it was only until she glance down at the dolls that it came to her. As if it were speaking to her, Vinyl was reminded again how she had come to like dolls, despite her tomcolt personality. Realizing this, the unicorn looked up to her friend again.
“Octavia, It’s alright, I think I understand now,” Vinyl reached out and soothed her friend’s head with her hoof.
The simple act of reaching out to her did wonders to restore some of the earth pony’s confidence. However, the same could not be said for the unicorn, who felt it had been a necessary gesture to assure Octavia before she had to ask an unavoidable question. Vinyl really didn’t want to hurt Octavia, but sensed that if she never confronted her about it at this very moment, then as a friend she would never forgive herself.
“It’s all a little confusing, but now that I think about it makes sense, and I don’t think there is anything wrong with it,”
Octavia looked up at Vinyl, who was swiftly becoming hurt by the look of hope in her eyes.
“But there is something I don’t get...I know part of the reason why you stopped hanging out with us was because Harpo and Frederic were being jerks to you... but...there was something else wasn’t there?”
Octavia snapped her eyes, betrayed by the feeling of relief from a second ago. She started to sob again, realizing now that she had not yet expunged the last of shame.
“Yes.”
It wasn't really a response, just a gasp that sounded like an answer.
Vinyl could tell that it was only going to get harder to admit it as the seconds drew on, but was astonished when Octavia started to speak again so soon after her answer.
“It...started out with me practicing to be more confident...trying to defend myself...but...but as things got worse, and I wasn’t able to see you anymore...I...they...I talked to them more...then it became habit...and then...”
Octavia had tried mightily to finish, but she broke down. The Royal Academy musician wept again as she sensed the end of her social significance and the death of her association with Vinyl Scratch.
At seeing her like this, Vinyl felt she was not worthy of Octavia’s friendship. She had forced her too far and that had been a mistake. But then vinyl decided it was time to repay Octavia with a confession of her own and in her own bravest voice, she let Octavia become the first pony since foalhood learn about her own deepest secret.
“I talked to dolls too.”
Octavia didn’t even let that sink in long enough before her head raised in astonishment, but the relaxed smile on Vinyl’s face was perhaps the warmest she had ever felt from another pony. Sensing that she had become speechless, the unicorn started to explain.
“I know what it feels...when you feel like the rest of the world has turned against you...I was like that once or twice...” Vinyl explained calmly.
Octavia sniffed the dribble coming out of her nose and strengthened her resolve to hear what her friend was saying. Was it true, did the ever-confident Vinyl Scratch once do something as weird as talk to her dolls? Maybe this could explain her fascination with her collection and her unpredictable reaction to her secret plush dolls.
Vinyl turned her head and with her horn she grabbed their dolls, setting them up on the floor in between the two mares. For the second time, the unicorn took a better look at her own doll. The grey mare was right: as a child, Vinyl might’ve begged for years for one of these. But with that sort of temptation, the unicorn admitted that nothing could replace Daisy, the beloved doll she received from her father the same year she started school.
“So why...how...”
Vinyl nodded, then explained.
“I was bullied a lot as a filly...the most of it was in the first year of school,” Vinyl explained, “Sometimes it was because I came from a wealthy Canterlot family...sometimes it was for some of the silliest reasons...but all that time I was afraid to tell my parents what was going on...so I told Daisy,”
When she realized she was referring to the name of her doll, Octavia quickly recognized that Vinyl was not pretending to sympathize with her.
“Did Daisy....help you?” Octavia corrected.
“She did. No matter when I needed her, she was always there waiting for me when I returned...and I always remember Daisy saying the things I wanted to hear... like how stupid the bully was and how strong I was to put up with them...” Vinyl explained, then added, “... it always made me feel better.”
Octavia paused to reflect the story so far. It was like Vinyl had read her mind and described her situation in every exact detail. She felt ashamed again, but this time over her almost accusing Vinyl of conjuring up a lie to make her feel better. As with all stresses, once the worry was gone and all the tears had started to dry up, Octavia felt her strength return to her and her ability to cope grew. Octavia however still shuddered when she asked her question.
“Then...what happened?” Octavia asked.
Vinyl paused and looked a little worried, but before the grey mare could feel guilt for asking, she started to speak.
“...One day I got into a pretty bad fight with the bully, something about me being a marshmallow-flank...When I got home, I went straight to my room and didn’t come out...later that night, my father overheard me talking to the doll...” Vinyl paused for effect, then continued, “He told me much later that he was becoming worried about how quiet I had become...then by chance he heard me talk to Daisy.”
If she hadn't felt it before, Octavia could easily feel guilt now.
“Did you get into trouble?”
“I did...but not for talking to dolls..” Vinyl explained, “...he said that was a normal thing....and that nopony should be ashamed of it...but he also said that I should never have been ashamed to talk to him about my problems”
“So what happened then?” Octavia asked, actually feeling worried about the little Vinyl of this story.
“Father apparently knew the man that was the bully’s father and had a talk with him...the next thing I knew, the bully was transferred to another school for six months...” Vinyl breathed then resumed, “When the bully returned, I was never called a marshmallow-flank, or white-a-corn, or anything else ever again...the bully said that at the other school, they would bully over the slightest of issues...and it made what was done to me seem stupid.”
“What happened to Daisy...did your father...?” Octavia asked.
:”No...he didn’t throw her away...but eventually I stopped talking to her. Daisy became less a part of my life as I started making friends with my classmates. She helped in her way during the hard times, but eventually when i started to grow up, Daisy became less important to me... and so she became my bed-keeper...and then, when I moved out...I decided to leave her there, so she could watch over my room whenever I’m not there.”
“I see...” Octavia said, feeling both relieved and a little sad at the same time.
Some it felt wrong for Vinyl to do that her doll. For all the importance she had played in a very prominent point in the unicorn’s young life, it seemed cruel that Daisy had been relegated away as unimportant. Nonetheless, the whole story made Octavia’s heart flutter so much that she started to feel a little giddy again, but at the same time felt ashamed at herself for what she had allowed herself to become.
Octavia for whatever reason started to compare herself to Vinyl’s story, and in her own mind came out poorly in comparison. Whereas Vinyl was a little filly when she did it, Octavia was a grown mare, expected to act differently and much more maturely. There was solace in the fact that Vinyl wasn't disappointed in her, but that somehow didn't absolve her own consciousness of the shame that came with this sort of confession.
“I guess you understand my problem...” Octavia started, “...but...that doesn't matter... I cannot have such a strange habit at my age...and while i know you seem to understand...if it ever gets out...I’m ruined...”
Vinyl frowned again at Octavia’s pessimism, not that she could blame her for thinking this way. At least she knew how to respond to that.
“Nopony is perfect Tavi...” Vinyl started.
“I know that,” Octavia pouted, “But what about my problems at work?”
“So? Everyone has bad days...I bet even the princesses have them,” Vinyl shrugged, “But Tavi...I think you’ve become so afraid of your problems now that you're hiding behind your dolls.”
Octavia gulped and looked down again. She tried to deny it but Vinyl was right, how could things ever hope to get better when she wasn’t even confident enough to speak up about even the minor problems? The truth could be so painful sometimes.
“But...they just won’t listen to me anymore, even when we screw up they think I’m being paranoid or that it doesn't really matter...and then what will happen when they all find out about the dolls?” Octavia started to sob as that thought entered her mind again.
Vinyl had already pondered about that and regretfully saw Octavia’s point.
It was still hard for her to admit it but Vinyl still felt a little uncomfortable about the idea of a little doll version of herself. For a brief moment, she pondered about what would have happened had Octavia simple said something about them earlier. Even Vinyl had to admit that had she been told about the dolls earlier, her immediate reaction might have been a lot better. But right now was not the time to address hindsight with questions.
But after thinking about it, Vinyl realized that the dolls weren't the main problem at all. Just as she had already concluded, Octavia’s dilemma revolved around how her confidence, not her secret hobbies. For this reason, Vinyl’s response was almost automatic.
“Then we just won't mention the dolls.”
“What do you mean?”
“Well, the way I see it, if I don’t tell them, then who is going to find out?”
Octavia paused her breathing for a moment and tried to find out if all her sobbing was making her hear things. It was just too much to hope for a second later and Octavia slumped down again and started sobbing anew.
“But you're a friend to all of them...I mean...you have to tell them don’t you?” Octavia stammered out in confusion.
Vinyl sighed.
“If I wasn't your friend too, I’d agree, but since you are...why would I do something that would hurt you?”
The earth pony continued to look at the unicorn with complete befuddlement. Vinyl sighed again and sensed she needed to explain her reasoning. Even she had to admit that it was a fairly odd thing to say, but the unicorn was also smart enough to recognize that the very last thing her earth pony friend needed was for yet another problem at work to emerge. After carefully considering her own thoughts, she started to elaborate.
“Tavi...what I’m trying to say is that I think for now, let’s keep the dolls a secret for a little longer...while we worry about the more important things, like how to tell your coworkers what you're really thinking instead of hiding away in your home,”
Now Octavia was certain that her hearing was either messing with her, and so she asked that most necessary of questions.
“Do you really mean it?”
“I mean it...Tavi, I promise you that I won’t tell the other. So please...stop worrying about that,” Vinyl announced.
As if she had been planning it all along, Octavia lept up to hug her friend. Just hearing Vinyl’s promise did wonders to lighten her burden. But despite that assurance, the earth pony still felt herself at a loss.
“But how am I going to get better...I don't know how...they won't listen to me anymore and-”
“Trust me...I actually think they will,” Vinyl declared.
Octavia let go of the unicorn then and looked at her as if she didn’t understand the language.
“Vinyl, it’s not that simple...I mean every day they just keep ignoring me,”
Vinyl sighed as Octavia’s stubborn doubts returned.
“I think they’ll start listening to you again after today...say what you want Tavi but they are actually worried about you now,”
“But how can you be so sure? They won’t even let me speak unless they want to tease me,”
Instead of just replying right away, waited and just smiling back at her in a way that warmed Octavia’s heart. When she felt her friend had waited enough Vinyl replied.
“Tavi...I think you’ll be pretty surprised what can happen if you just have a little help.”
Contrary to popular belief, Octavia was not much of a morning mare, especially when it was a Monday. However in what was to her a radical departure from the norm, the earth pony had actually woken up on time and without the aid of any ten minute snooze.
After her usual stumbling about, Octavia found her way to the bathroom where after she had done her part for nature, got down to the business of getting ready for another week at the Royal Conservatorium. When she finally woke up - something the steaming hot shower was good at doing - the grey pony went about the routine that would eventually prepare her for another day of long hours in practice and dealing with all the other burdens that came with being a musician.
But for the first time in what felt like an eternity, she was actually looking forward to it. Octavia was not completely foolish however, even with what had transpired over the weekend. The earth pony still felt a pang of regret that she was returning to the problems she had left behind on that rainy afternoon. But at the same time, the mare was strangely optimistic, a sentiment that admittedly hadn't happened in a very long time.
While she had not realized it right away, this hopeful attitude in a way made Octavia more self conscious about her appearance and subsequently took more time getting ready. After brushing her hair just a little more than she normally did and finding an above average bowtie from her selection to wear, the earth pony deemed herself prepared for the day.
Glancing up at the clock, the mare was perplexed to discover that she actually had time to spare.
“Okay...I guess I could have something to eat before I leave,”
Yet another popular misconception was that Octavia usually had a breakfast. Since she lived so far from the academy, this simply wasn’t feasible and so like most other ponies, Octavia usually would buy something closer to work or go without. Sensing the opportunity to break from that habit, she cantered to the kitchen.
Assuaging herself against the usual dose of coffee she normally depended on, Octavia decided to make her breakfast a simple affair: Orange juice and toast. But for some reason that felt like more than enough as the earth pony finally started to feel the jitters about today. It wasn't something she expected to avoid, after all how often had Octavia anticipated having a good day?
As she chewed on a slice of jam coated toast, Octavia started to think about what Vinyl had promised to do for her and how it would change things for the better. It felt good in a way to think about something in the future and not something that happened already. At least that was something that her unicorn friend was correct about.
Finishing her breakfast, Octavia cleaned up after herself. By the time she was done with that extra chore, the earth pony noticed that she had soaked up all the spare time and was now exactly on schedule again. Doubtlessly, the mare somehow interpreted it as the first sign things were going to be different today.
“I guess it’s time to leave then,”
After checking the apartment for anything that was out of place - as there always was by Monday morning - and performing last minute clean up of her living room - Octavia trotted back to her bedroom to collect her saddlebag and instrument. Mounting everything onto her back, she was now incapable of cleaning up without taking everything off again, and that was seldom something the earth pony enjoyed doing for unnecessary tasks.
But when she glanced over to her bed, she noticed one minor thing that she decided she would make an exception for.
Octavia took her instrument off again and went over to grab the two dolls she had left on the nightstand. Instinct briefly instructed her to put them away, but it wasn't until she was in the living room when she realized that it was no longer necessary to hide these particular ponies. The mare then pondered about where to put them and ended up with with the perfect spot for them: on the sofa she enjoyed napping on.
“Okay you two, now I’m going to let you stay out so be on your best behavior, okay?”
Both dolls promised right away, seemingly excited at the idea of being out of the cabinet. In short order, Octavia returned to the bedroom again to collect her instrument and started to make her way to the door. Despite the concern that she might start running a tad late, Octavia still stopped by the sofa again to see her two dolls. For whatever reason, gravity had forced the two dolls to lean against each other with Vinyl having somehow wrapped a hoof around the grey mare’s neck. It was the very imagine of a friend she could depend on.
Any thought of correcting the position was quickly forgotten.
“Okay Vinyl, now you take care of Octavia for me, same goes to you...Take care,”
Octavia smiled and started to trot to the door, letting the dolls continue their embrace in privacy.
Unlocking the door, Octavia repeated in reverse the shuffle that brought her inside and backed out until she had passed the threshold again into the real world. Before she closed the door, she took one final look inside and made her pronouncement for the day.
“Okay, here goes nothing."
Without another word, she closed her door and soon was on her way to work again.
