Deflated

by ambaharmony

First published

Can a scar received on a pony's cutie mark change its meaning?

After being attacked by a mysterious assailant in the Everfree Forest, Pinkie Pie discovers that her wounds may leave a scar on her cutie mark. She remains optimistic about her recovery until Twilight's research reveals that any sort of physical trauma that affects a cutie mark's appearance may foreshadow a change in that pony's destiny. Pinkie struggles to fight incoming negativity as she ponders whether making everypony smile is her true purpose in life.

Prologue

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A cotton candy pink pony strolled through the Everfree Forest. She was cautious, but mostly unafraid, for she was reasonably close to the edge of the woods. Then she heard a twig snap not from under her hoof, but elsewhere, somewhere deep in the thick trees. A momentary jolt of panic shot through her, though she continued at the same pace. The snapping happened again, and again, each time getting closer to her. The pony quickened herself, soon breaking into a full gallop as she picked up on a mysterious heavy breathing that had not been there before. Everything around her blurred into a sea of swampy green as she bolted through the foliage. Whatever was chasing the petrified pony was beginning to close in. She let out a high-pitched screech as she snagged her front hoof on a loose root and tumbled into the dirt. A blinding pain seared through the pony's body and she cried out. It felt like razor-sharp claws were dragging down her back.

Off in the distance, two ponies that were trotting through the same forest heard howls of pain coming from nearby. The voice sounded familiar. The sisters shared a momentary glance before they took off in the direction the horrible sounds had came from. Within a few minutes they found the pink pony, bloodied and plastered in dirt, with tears gushing from her half-closed eyes.

Before losing consciousness, she just barely made out the figures of her rescuers, an orange pony and a smaller yellow one, as they screamed and panicked while trying to decide on what to do. Later, she remembered the world around her being blindingly white, and heard unfamiliar voices discussing stitches, scarring, and blood loss. From what she could pick up they could not be certain what had caused her injuries, but they inferred it was a forest creature, perhaps a manticore. One day, she thought she could make out the sweet voices of her best friends. She tried to open her eyes and managed to look around for a moment or two, yet everything was hazy around her.

For a while, her world was incredibly dark.

So They Say

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Now that Pinkie Pie had been resting at home for a few days, it was finally time to remove the bandages. The doctors at Ponyville Hospital had solemnly told her that there would most likely be permanent scarring, but their prognosis was dismissed with a giggle. She'd have to see it for herself to believe it!

Applejack and Apple Bloom, her rescuers, were present as well. The sisters watched anxiously as Pinkie prepared the new wrappings that would replace the old, and then examined her bandaged flank in the mirror. When she looked up at them, they awkwardly glanced away. Pinkie let out a laugh.

"Oh, come on, you guys. They said I'd be just fine! Nothing could ever take down Pinkie Pie!"

Applejack grinned half-heartedly at her. "Yeah, sugar cube, we know. We're just, uh, nervous to see it. That's all."

"Exactly!" Apple Bloom interjected. "I feel like I'm gonna burst if I have to wait any longer. I wanna see how it's healin' up!"

"Well then let's get right to it. Here we go!" Suspense mounted up inside Pinkie's chest as she slowly peeled off the medical tape securing the thick gauze over her right flank.

"Oh my," Applejack breathed, staring in disbelief. Apple Bloom had partially hidden herself behind her sister's leg, feeling squeamish from the open wound.

At first, Pinkie's eyes widened and she let out a small gasp. Yes, as predicted, her cutie mark was still visible, though fractions of it were now obscured by thin, light pink slashes. If the balloons adorning her flank had been real, the ripping of her attacker's fierce claws would have popped them instantly. The injury was still somewhat raw, so droplets of blood oozed here and there, but most portions of it had begun to heal. Her mouth fell into a frown for a moment as she thought about what this meant for herself. Everypony knew that the realm of cutie marks was mysterious and all-powerful, something ponies still didn't quite understand. Even the magic of almighty alicorns could not tamper with one's cutie mark. So what did this mean?

After a moment of consideration with no logical possibilities coming to mind, Pinkie spoke up.

"Look, it's not that bad. It's still healing, remember? There's plenty of time for it to close up. I'm sure it'll look just fine!" Applejack and Apple Bloom presented no objections, so she shrugged it off with a smile. They assisted Pinkie in rebandaging the injury, stayed around to enjoy some cupcakes with her, and left just as the moon was beginning to appear in the night sky.

The positive outlook didn't quite follow Pinkie to bed. Her mind refused to focus on anything else except reliving the brutal attack, over and over, until she slipped into a restless slumber. In her dreams she was dashing through the murky forest again with ominous cries tickling in her ears, as if her attacker was just behind her. This time, dozens of pastel balloons drifted among the somber trees. One by one, she heard them burst as her assailant got closer and closer until it finally dug its claws into her back. She wailed for help, but nobody came this time.

The loudest, sharpest pop! of an imaginary balloon being punctured jolted Pinkie out of bed just as the sun was rising over the sleepy residents of Ponyville. She rubbed her groggy eyes and gazed forlornly out the window. The gloom of last night's dream was a little too much for her to bear on her own. She felt a bit more relieved once she remembered she'd promised to visit Twilight Sparkle, who had expressed interest in hanging out once Pinkie felt well enough to do so.

"A good day with a best friend can make anything better!" Pinkie asserted to herself.

Mr. and Mrs. Cake were quieter than usual at breakfast. They did remind Pinkie of what they had already told her, that she had the next week or so off from her duties at Sugar Cube Corner so she could properly recover. The twin foals did not refrain from their usual shrieks and food throwing.

After eating, Pinkie trotted towards Twilight's library in her usual cheery manner, though she moved carefully as not to injure herself any further. The bulky bandages, accompanied by the fact that her story must have been spread quickly, accounted for the intrigued, sympathetic looks she got. Oblivious to their unease, Pinkie shot her award-winning smile at everyone who caught her eye.

Luckily, Twilight happened to be home. After answering the door, she gasped and embraced Pinkie in a tight hug.

"Oh, Pinkie! I'm so sorry! I was so involved in my homework that I had forgotten that we had made plans. But I'm glad you remembered! Come on in. How are you doing? How does it look? I really want to see."

Pinkie once again removed the wrappings to display the wound to her friend. Twilight stared in awe, unable to tear her eyes from her friend's damaged cutie mark.

"Oh, this looks absolutely horrible. And your cutie mark..."

"Yeah, I know, but it'll heal up in no time, right?" Pinkie replied, gently placing the bandages back on her flank. She finally recognized Twilight's restlessness and tilted her head curiously. "What's the matter? Don'tcha think so?"

The corners of Twilight's mouth twitched up into a small smile. "Well, yes, the wound certainly will heal. But I think the doctors are right. There could be a scar over your cutie mark and something about that just seems odd. You know, I think I've read something about this! Hold on a second."

As soon as Twilight eagerly galloped over to one of the dozens of bookshelves lining the walls and began to scan the spines of multiple volumes, Pinkie knew she would be here for longer than just a second. She curled up on a spare cushion while Twilight piled stacks of books into a fortress of knowledge around herself. She must have dozed off because a sudden cry of "Aha! Found it!" brought Pinkie from a picnic under the pleasant sun at Ponyville Park with her best friends back to Twilight's library with a dull burning, that had become the norm as of late, returning to her flank.

Once Pinkie was fully alert again, Twilight continued with her findings. "Well, I can't say any more than speculation in your case. At least, so far. But listen to this!"

'In most cases, a cutie mark's appearance and meaning is certain: this is the exact way it will look, and it acutely represents the purpose its owner will serve for the remaining days of their life. Old legends dating back to the early years of Canterlot settlement, however, tell stories of a cutie mark's meaning being changed through its owner experiencing physical trauma. Receiving a large blast of powerful magic or a scar or some other kind of permanent marking on the flank where a cutie mark is present could foreshadow a dramatic change in a pony's destiny, especially pertaining to the meaning of their cutie mark.'"

Twilight looked on distressfully as Pinkie stared blankly into the distance, processing what she had just heard. Could this injury be proclaiming a change in her life's purpose? How could throwing parties not be what she was meant to do? It was those parties that made her happiest, and they were something that everypony else seemed to enjoy as well. She couldn't imagine doing anything else but planning extravagant bashes and spreading smiles to her friends. A wave of chills swept through her body, bringing along with it an unfamiliar feeling: despair.

"Will my destiny really be changed? I don't want to stop throwing parties! What else am I supposed to do? I love parties! I--"

"Calm down, Pinkie. Let's think rationally and reasonably about this!" Twilight interrupted, trying her best to mask anxiousness from appearing in her facial expression. "These stories are from old Canterlot. They were told hundreds and hundreds of years ago. There never was a documented case of a pony's destiny being changed in this way. Anypony could have made those up. You don't feel any different, do you?"

No, she hadn't, not until Twilight's findings had planted a seed of doubt in her mind. She thought of the faces of ponies she had passed by earlier, how they hadn't greeted her as they usually do. The awkward silence of the Cakes. Were they simply concerned, or did she not possess the ability to make everypony smile anymore?

"I guess not. I'm getting kinda tired, though, so I'm gonna head home. Thanks for having me over," Pinkie sighed.

Twilight felt a pang of guilt threatening to take over, for she realized her research had caused her friend's discomfort. "Pinkie, I'm sorry. Forget I even said anything about that. They're all old mare's tales. You'll be totally fine, okay?"

"Okay."

For the first time in her life, Pinkie focused on the ground as she dragged her hooves down the streets of Ponyville.

Golden Opportunity

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Throughout the following week, Pinkie Pie excelled in the healing process. A few days after her visit with Twilight Sparkle, she was told she could remove the bandages for good. Thanks to the doctor's magic, her skin had repaired at an accelerated rate, yet unfortunately nothing could be done about the scarring. Pinkie tossed the old wrappings in the trash and scrambled to Twilight's house, begging her to use her incredible magical prowess to remove the scars. After some persuasion she put every remedial spell she knew, including a few she had looked up on the spot, to the test. As predicted, nothing seemed to make the slightest difference. Twilight once again tried to assure Pinkie that the stories weren't true, despite her own doubt and curiosity.

Neither Twilight nor the doctors possessed the power to relieve Pinkie of her harrowing thoughts. The nightmares grew more horrible and nerve-wracking with each coming slumber. No matter how frightening the dreams got, Pinkie made sure to face each day with a smile and unbeatable confidence, even if they didn't exactly represent what she felt on the inside.

In attempt to cleanse herself of the ugly feelings clogging her mind, she developed a habit of taking long, solitary walks around Ponyville each day. The afternoon before she was expected to return to her position at Sugar Cube Corner, she took a detour that put her en route to pass Carousel Boutique.

"Pinkie Pie! Is that you down there? Do you have a moment?"

Pinkie's ears perked up at the sound of a familiar voice. "Of course! Anything for you, Rarity!"

A few moments later Pinkie found herself sitting at Rarity's kitchen table, trying her best not to slurp the cup of tea she was given. The interior was surprisingly disheveled for the fussy unicorn's standards.

"Is everything okay, girl? This place is a disaster. There's stuff lying around everywhere!"

Rarity took an elegant sip of her tea. "Oh I know, it's simply horrid! But I've been so busy planning the finer details of Fluttershy's birthday party that I haven't had time to tidy up. That was why I called you inside, actually. Now that you're feeling a bit better I thought you'd enjoy helping out!"

Fluttershy's birthday! In the mayhem of the past few weeks she had completely forgotten that it was coming up. Usually the responsibility of planning such an important event would fall mostly on her shoulders, but her condition had shifted that weight to her friends.

"Don't worry dear, even after that little break I'm sure you can still do this," Rarity continued. "You're definitely the best pony for the job."

Was she? Over the past week the seeds of negativity planted by Twilight's findings had begun to sprout. Pinkie hesitated for a moment, searching for the best way to break it to Rarity that parties were no longer her forte.

"Pinkie? Are you alright? Well, I suppose I understand if there's no way you possibly could. I'm positive you're busy and all, and that horrible injury can't be helping," Rarity said, her curious eyes flitting down to catch a glimpse of the scars.

"Oh no, that's not it. I just--" she began, but the words caught in her throat. It hadn't been proved yet that her partying skills were no longer present, and perhaps this was the perfect opportunity to show everyone that nothing had changed! Pinkie grinned, more genuinely than she had in days. "Actually, Rarity, I'd be positively pleased as pink punch to help out. Leave it all to me!"

"That's great to hear, darling! I won't let you take all of the responsibility, though. You still need to take it a bit easy! I can certainly help out with the decorations and such, seeing as I have a sixth sense for fabulosity," Rarity boasted. "How about I stop by after your shift tomorrow and we can discuss the details?"

Pinkie Pie faced the next day with elation, despite previous fears surrounding her return to the kitchen at Sugar Cube Corner. At 10am sharp, she resumed her place behind the front counter. Even with her fresh attitude, she was a bit jittery as thoughts of how everything could go wrong still continued to bombard her. Pinkie considered baking treats as a vital segment of the party planning process.

The first portion of her day only involved assisting customers who came to pick up orders that had previously been prepared by the Cakes. The transactions went over rather well, but that was the easy part. Pinkie's heart pounded heavily each time somepony came through the door, worrying that they would place a new order that would require her to bake something herself.

Around noon, the moment she was fearing arrived. A reserved looking pony, whom she remembered as Noteworthy, made his way to the counter and requested a baker's dozen of simple cupcakes with mint green frosting.

"Most certainly, sir! Come back around 4pm this afternoon to pick it up," Pinkie said, bringing forth the deceitful smile she had learned to fabricate so well.

Mrs. Cake took over Pinkie's post at the counter as she trotted anxiously to the kitchen. Okay, Pinkie, she thought, it's just cupcakes. No big deal. Easy cupcakes like this are a walk in the park! Just take it one step at a time.

She was able to easily locate the required bowls, measuring cups, and other equipment, thanks to the effort she had put into organizing Sugar Cube Corner's kitchen before the attack in the forest. For a moment she grieved for life before that fateful day, for a time where her life felt stable and she had the time and energy to eagerly sort baking supplies, but a quick shake of the head refocused herself on the cupcakes she had to prepare.

With the oven preheated and decorative paper linings placed in the cups of the cupcake tin, Pinkie talked herself through the process she knew by heart.

First step: creaming the butter and sugar. Half cup butter, three-fourths cup of sugar. Let's get to it! ...Good, now beat in two eggs, one at a time! Just like that. Perfect! And now... I think...

What comes next?

Pinkie's heart began to sink.

Oh, that's right, the flour. But how much? And what's after that again?

She felt dazed and stupid, silently cursing herself a thousand times for the inability to remember the instructions she had effortlessly repeated for years. The last time she had needed a written recipe for cupcakes had been years ago, when she was just a little filly learning to bake in her grandmother's kitchen. Minutes passed as Pinkie wracked her brain for the next step, but it seemed to be missing for good. Feeling a crushing sense of defeat, she lagged to the bookshelf in the corner to fetch a recipe book.

Ahhh, that's what it was. Two cups flour, and then one cup milk. It was a minor setback, girl. Just a little slip-up. You've still got this!

Pinkie's positive affirmations did not hold up for very long as her movements seemed to get clumsier, no matter how hard she tried to be careful and precise. The batter was thick and lumpy. Pouring it into the cups proved to be a difficult task. It slopped over a few of the paper linings, leaving the tin dotted in batter.

With the timer set to about eighteen minutes, Pinkie slumped against the counter to wait, anxious to see how her hard work would turn out. At the five minute mark, Mr. Cake checked in to make sure she was doing alright with her first day back on the job. Pinkie assured him that all was well. Around ten minutes in, Pinkie let her attention drop a bit and her mind wandered, presenting too many questions for her to possibly focus on at once.

How true is Twilight's book? Is there any more information about this condition? Are there any other modern day ponies who were faced with this same problem? If so, where are they now? And how would I possibly find them? Can this be reversed? What am I supposed to do in the meantime? If my destiny is no longer about parties, what will it be now?

She pondered her life on the rock farm. How bleak and dreary and depressing it was. Every day was enveloped in a certain immovable sadness that never relented. Everypony else in her family seemed tolerable of it. Why? Perhaps they were tired of fighting and accepted defeat?

Not me, Pinkie thought. I'm not like them. Not at all.

She relived her very first party. She remembered the warm excitement she felt brewing inside her as she had hung streamers and inflated balloons and painstakingly replicated her grandmother's delectable strawberry cake. The smiles she had brought to her family's faces were like the sun breaking through gloomy clouds. Oh, how they had enjoyed the snacks, and party games, and the smell of something burning...

Pinkie snapped back to real life the instant she realized that smell was not a part of her memory and in fact her pastry masterpieces turning into charred, inedible lumps.

"Nooo!" Pinkie cried as she yanked the tin out of the oven. Black smoke filled the room and she tried her best to direct it out the open window. As she gazed at her ruined cupcakes, hot tears threatened to spill over onto her face.

After convincing Mr. and Mrs. Cake that she was indeed still fit to be working and had merely been distracted, Pinkie whipped up a second batch of cupcakes that were satisfactory, but not the impeccable treats she knew she was capable of. Mr. Cake took over baking duty for the rest of the day.

---

"I-- I just can't do it anymore!" Pinkie sobbed, burying her face into Rarity's mane and letting the tears fall freely. "You should have seen those cupcakes, they were so horrible! I'm never gonna bake anything ever again. I'll never throw a party ever again either!"

Rarity nuzzled her friend lovingly. "Now now, darling, no more tears. I know drama, and I reckon you're being just a tad unreasonable here, you know? I'm sure they weren't that bad."

"Yes they were! They were so burned, not even the birds would peck at them, Rarity!"

Her face scrunched in disgust. "Ooh my, those do sound a bit unpleasant. But you know what? That was your first time baking since the awful incident. You simply need more time to warm up to baking again! I saw Noteworthy as he left the shop, and boy, did he look thrilled to have authentic Pinkie Pie cupcakes! Now, you must assist me in planning Fluttershy's party. Those were just cupcakes. You haven't even tried the other elements of party planning yet! I promise nothing about you has changed. It wouldn't be the same without you, dear."

Pinkie looked up at Rarity through watery eyes. "Do you really think I can still do this?"

"Of course, Pinkie. You simply haven't had a chance to prove yourself yet! That chance is here right now. What do you say?"

Pinkie wiped the tears from her face and stood feebly, though she felt herself becoming stronger every second from the comfort and courage she found in the presence of her friends. Once again, it was the kind words and friendship of another pony that had saved her from a dark descent.

"I'm ready to try. Where do we start?"