Mr. Hayseed is a hay farmer and ex bandit. When True Breeze, a bounty hunter, finally captures him, Mr. Hayseed is rolled into a scheme he never thought would even be possible.
“Now what I do is pretty simple. There are a lot of bad ponies out there, ones who've killed, looted, murdered, and stole for their greedy selves. The only thing they want is Bits and power, while some just do it for fun.
“My job, as a bounty hunter, is to go out and kill or capture these criminals. I get some Bits for my job well done and Equestria is a bit safer. Money and justice. Has a nice little ring to it, don’t you think?”
It was one of those perfect days that you only hear about in stories and movies. The sun was high up in the sky, beaming down on the yellowy fields of hay. A soft breeze rustled in across the grains, keeping the temperature cool enough for everypony to enjoy. A lone cloud floated by, seeming not to have a care in the world where the breeze took it.
Spring was always a great time, and even more so in Equestria.
A large, muscular tan stallion with a darker colored mane exited his house, stretching out before the midmorning sun on his deck. Smacking his lips, once, twice, he trotted off the deck and over into the field of yellow. He took a long, deep breath and exhaled through his nose, rustling the hay in front of him.
The stallion turned his head, hearing a light voice from just beyond the edge of the field. A smile crept along his face as a bouncing yellow filly with a dark brown mane hopped into and out of his vision, the hay blocking his view of her when she landed.
Beyond her at the entrance of their house stood a mare, a pink apron adorned on her cream-yellow body and her light brown mane tied back. They smiled at each other, like any other happy couple would.
The mother called over to the filly, still bouncing wildly at the edge of the field, telling her to come in and eat some breakfast before it got cold. A loud complaint was issued by the young one and a small argument broke between them.
The stallion chuckled, shaking his head. He called out once to his wife, telling her to start without them. She rolled her eyes and returned to the house, letting her husband win this one.
With a wide grin, the filly bolted straight into the hay field, listening to the chuckles of her father as guidance. It took her some time, but after a few corrections and some jumps, she finally figured out where he was. Only a few more steps until she--
Tink-Tink~
This time, there wasn’t a laugh. Or a chuckle. Not even a nice, silly noise. This time it was a raw scream. It was an animal being struck down, its shrill cry calling out in its pain and weakness.
The filly stopped cold, listening to the anguished cries of her father, only a foot or two away from her. After a few seconds of numbness, she willed herself to take a step forward, parting away the red hay in front of her. Confused and terrified, she looked at it, noticing it wasn’t red hay. It had been turned red by sprinklets of crimson water.
So numbed by everything around her, she didn’t notice the source of the red, her father, on the ground until her mother had raced towards them, her screams now mixing with the stifled grunts of pain from the stallion. It was a twisted heartbeat of noise that beat in the filly’s ears, drumming into her mind grunt by scream.
A small pool of blood began to form around him, two holes straight through his knees. Tears welled in his shut eyes, trying to block out the pain, and the panicked screaming of his wife didn’t help very much. Her hooves shook as her eyes scanned up and down his body, her mind jumbled as she watched him bleed. It finally clicked in her head to staunch the bleeding as best as she could and with unsteady hooves, she took her apron off and wrapped it around the holes in his legs.
The gentle flapping of wings interrupted them, the mare looking up towards the sky, squinting as she looked into the sun. She paled when the outline of a periwinkle blue pegasus stallion blocked her vision, his wings outstretched and shadow casting over them all. His eyes stared down at the bleeding stallion, a tinge of pity in his otherwise plain face.
The stallion on the ground finally got his eyes open enough to see the shape above him and like a wounded rabbit looking into the face of a hungry fox, they shot open, his back legs kicking wildly in a desperate attempt to flee.
Shaking his head, the pegasus alighted on the ground before them, the black coat he wore rippling from the landing.
Silence reigned between the four ponies and only the labored breathing of the mare and bleeding stallion could be heard. The pegasus looked at each one of them with his purple eyes, the pity still on his face. Nodding over at the mare, he spoke in a soft yet authoritive voice.
“You Mrs. Hayseed?”
The mare, shocked at the question in the time of crisis, began to sputter out a response in anger. “What the ha--“
“ARE you Mrs. Bright Hayseed? And this,” he nodded his head at the stallion. “Mr. Swift Hayseed?”
His hard gaze didn’t leave the mare, unwavering between them. After a moment, she nodded, now holding her husband’s head. The pegasus sighed and fished out a parchment inside of his coat.
“Well, you see… Mr. Hayseed aka ‘The Rolling Hills Bandit’ aka ‘Swift Death’ is a wanted criminal, dead or alive, in the country of Equestria for looting several caravans assault of fourteen individuals and murder of four ponies. I’m here today for his bounty.”
He hoofed the document over to the Mrs. Hayseed, her hoof shaking as she took it. Looking at the near perfect picture of her husband on it, a few tears started to well up in her eyes as she read it, the large black letters of “WANTED” at the top of the form mentally abusing her mind.
Without asking, the pegasus took the form back from her. Sighing once more, he took out some bandages and threw them over at the mare, who just managed to catch them in time.. “You better wrap him up and say goodbye. He could bleed out before I get him to the nearest station. I’ll give you time.”
Baffled by the revelation, the mother stared at the pegasus, her mouth ajar in shock. It wasn’t until a small voice cracked the air that every pony looked down at the filly, recognizing she was still there.
“G-goodb-bye?”
The pegasus bit his lip as Mrs. Hayseed’s eyes grew even larger, her husband’s closing up, realizing that their daughter just witnessed everything. From when he got shot to the announcement of his past crimes. She had heard everything, and earth stallion was ashamed.
Mr. Hayseed opened them up again, his own tears forming as he looked at her.
“Little Hayseed?”
“Y-yes Pa?”
“I’m going… I’m going to be gone fer awhile. You… You gotta keep mama safe and make sure she’s alright… Okay?”
Little Hayseed was now tearing up as well, but she let hers openly trail down her face. “B-but why, P-Pa?”
Mr. Hayseed twinged at the question, trying to come up with the best answer for her. “Well… Pa did some very bad things in his life. Very bad things which made him a very bad pony. Now… Now Pa has to go away for a very long time to make up what he did.”
The filly was distraught, looking over her father on the ground and shook her head over and over again, each time with more force. “No… no, no, no NO NO NO!” She leaped on her father, wrapping her hooves around him, her tears mixing with the blood below her.
“P-Pa isn’t a-a b-bad pony! H-he isn’t! P-Pa is a g-good pony! H-he grows h-hay and s-sells it and f-feeds the ch-chickens w-with me and we g-get eggs! P-Pa isn’t a b-bad pony…”
Anger in her tear soaked eyes, she looked up at the pegasus, the anger in her voice able to melt steel if possible.
“Y-you’re the bad pony h-here. Y-you’re the m-monster!”
It was one of those perfect days that you only hear about in stories and movies. The sun was high up in the sky, beaming down on the yellowy fields of hay. A soft breeze rustled in across the grains, keeping the temperature cool enough for everypony to enjoy. A lone cloud floated by, seeming not to have a care in the world where the breeze took it.
From this cloud, a pegasus made two shots, two direct hits into the front knees of a wanted criminal. He broke up a family for the profit of 2,000 Bits and painted part of the yellow field a new crimson hue. Landing in front of the family, he stated his business and was called a ‘bad pony’ and ‘monster’ by a filly whose father had murdered and injured many others.
Nodding at the filly, surprising everypony there, he murmured. “I am a monster. But no, Little Hayseed, I’m not a bad pony.”
Without waiting for a response, he took to the skies, fixing himself on the cloud to give them space for their goodbyes.
“Dear Celestia, do you know that you’re one lucky son of a mule?”
A set of hooves clopped on the dirt road, the sound echoing softly across the yellow grassed fields. The sun was high in the sky now, bearing down on the two stallions, smiling its warm grin on the both of them.
One, however, wasn’t exactly enjoying the Princess’ ball of flame in the sky.
Mr. Hayseed, trying to take a nap to sleep off this horrendous nightmare, opened one eye and frowned. So far, from what he thought of his situation, he was one unlucky son of a mule. Both his knees had been shot straight through, making bending his legs a near impossible feat without pain. He had to part with his wife and their daughter, revealing his unlawful past to them at the same time.
The worst part was when his daughter, finally truly realizing what was happening, had run inside their house and grabbed her red bandana. She often wore it around the farm, but she wanted to give it to him as “something to remember her by”. He tried not to cry when she said that.
The earth pony had the bandana in front of him, perfectly folded into a triangle. Or folded as perfect as he could, being on top of two other ponies below him. The pegasus, after all, was a bounty hunter. He had other bounties with him and the four of them were now traveling on the road in a cart the pegasus was pulling.
The other two happened to be wrapped up in white sheets, red splotches covering each of their heads. They had been silent the whole ride thus far.
“Why’d ya say that? I don’t think I’ve had the best of luck lately… would you?” Mr. Hayseed retorted. He wasn’t in the mood for games.
“Well…” The pegasus didn’t turn around, but gave the cart an extra pull, grating its wheel over a rock. “I could have shot you in the head, like Big Keg and Lil Barrel under ya. That would have been a lot easier you know. Would have saved me a bullet too.”
“So why didn’t ya?” Mr. Hayseed replied bluntly.
The pegasus chuckled and did turn back now, a small smile on his face. “Like I told your daughter, Swift. I’m not a bad pony.”
Mr. Hayseed snorted and picked his head up now. “Yeah, but you still called yourself a monster.”
The jacketed pony’s smile wiped away and he turned back to the road. He didn’t answer Mr. Hayseed and simply kept pulling the cart, surprising Swift. He didn’t expect to win the verbal engagement so easily and most of the time when he had seen or come face to face with bounty hunters, they always had been more cocky and gung-ho about things. This pegasus had thrown that stereotype out the window for Mr. Hayseed.
“True Breeze, by the way, is my name Mr. Hayseed.” He stated, disturbing the still air between them.
Before Mr. Hayseed could comment about how he didn’t really care, True Breeze pushed on.
“Yes, I did say I was a monster. Though what makes one a ‘monster,’ per say?” He looked back at Mr. Hayseed, whose eyebrow was cocked in confusion. “What do you think a monster is, Mr. Hayseed?”
“A monster?” The pegasus nodded. “Well… uhm… usually I think of some big beast or something. Pretty scary thing, like a manticore or somethin’.” Mr. Hayseed squinted his eyes a bit. “Doesn’t seem much like you honestly.”
True Breeze looked back forward and shook his head. “Ah… Like a foal…” He looked straight ahead, his focus on a large boulder ahead of them. “No, Mr. Hayseed. That’s just a beast. It’s not a monster.
“A monster is something much more cruel, something much more malevolent. Beasts like manticores and timber wolves… They act like they do out of their nature, their survival instincts. They kill and eat others only because they have to out of survival. It’s not their fault they act like that, it’s just how they are.
“Now a monster though, they are on a higher level than beasts. A monster thinks. A monster plans. A monster knows what’s it’s doing and how it’s going to do it. They enjoy what they do and understand that doing it changes lives, changes the world. Taking the life of somepony is trivial to them; it’s normal for them. They enjoy it, Swift. Even if they don’t know it’s wrong, they enjoy doing horrible things to others. It’s worse if they do.
“Most say that we are separated from beasts because we developed our brains more. We learned speech, writing, and architecture. We created tools, weapons, and building with our hooves. Magic became an articulate thing to us, something we could use to further ourselves. We even developed entire cities, entire nations built upon principles and ruled by royalty.
“But that’s the trouble, Swift. That’s the trouble. We built nations of monsters.”
True Breeze turned around towards Mr. Hayseed. “Do you understand what I’m trying to-“
“Zzzzzz… zzzzz…”
The pegasus stopped under the shade of the huge boulder looming over them in dumbfounded shock. On top of the pile, the tan stallion has fallen asleep, the red bandana being used as a little pillow for him to lay his head on. A corner of it covered his left eye and ear.
True Breeze couldn’t believe the nerve of this guy! HIS bounty!
Maybe I should pop another round into his back leg… He eyed the tip of the cloudy grey barrel of his LOYAL-3 silenced sniper rifle. I mean, it’s not like anybody is gonna know the difference or anything, right? His smile was pure mischievous evil.
“KYAAAA!”
The air from Breeze’s lungs found space outside of his body once more, albeit forced out this time.
Knocked clean out of his straps with the cart, he tumbled forward a few times before sliding to a gritty stop on the dirt road. He was sure he hit a few rougher rocks in his tumble, but the impact had left him breathless and blinded. Gasping for air, he barely heard the chuckles and clopping of three sets of hooves around him.
“Well well well… Look who we ‘ave ‘ere fellas!” The low voice cackled once, then coughed. Gathering his phlegm, he spat a glop of green amoebic fluid on True Breeze’s head. “A right old bounty hunter, going by Grand Fields’ boulder!”
True Breeze’s gasps came slower and longer as his vision came back, his face looking at the hooves of scarred up dark brown unicorn stallion. Looking up, True Breeze gazed into the face of Grand Fields, several ragged scars notching his face this way and that. His mane was a dirty collection of muddy brown and sandy brown hair, his Mark a skull with a crown bent to its side. His horn was chipped in several places like it had gone through the shredder one too many times.
The bounty hunter looked at him for a minute through squinted eyes. Grand Fields stared back, not exactly expecting the stare down between them. Finally, True Breeze chuckled and smiled wide.
“Wow. You are one ugly mother bucker.”
The stallion grunted and kicked his forehoof in True Breeze’s face, flopping the pegasus on his back. “Watch it bub. You ain’t ‘xactly in a position to talk shit ‘bout ponies.” A ruddy brown glow alighted his horn and from the worn saddle bag he wore, he pulled out a shiny revolver.
Grand Fields smiled, putting the first bullet into its chamber, taking his sweet time. The other two ponies, a yellowish earth pony and a vivid dark blue one, stood behind True Breeze chuckled and laughed as they watched True Breeze’s face start to grow in horror.
“Well…” The third bullet slid into the cylinder. “I must say, I am happy ya came by. We ‘aven’t raided and killed anypony fer a while now and our supplies have run a bit low…”
A fourth bullet entered.
“However, ya happened to come by at a perfect time with three dead bounties! And, with a nice gun too! Ain’t that great fellas?” The ponies behind him shouted their agreement.
The sixth bullet entered its chamber and True Breeze expected him to clip it up, ready to shoot. To his surprise though, Grand Fields put in another bullet, smiling wider now.
“Oh, ya thought only six shots? Well, this here is a special gun. It has- “He slid the last bullet in, the eighth. “Eight shots instead of the normal six. The OCTAVE-8 is a very rare, very... special gun.” His smile was pure mischievous evil as he clicked the cylinder into place, pointing the weapon at him. “I’d rather just show ya what I-“
WHACK!
Without skipping a beat, True Breeze’s face fell to seriousness and his hind leg kicked out, knocking the gun out of Grand Fields’ magic grasp. Using the momentum of his kick, he turned his side over to flip himself upright and tossed himself at the nearest lackey by him, tackling him to the ground.
Landing some good strikes on the pony’s face, he didn’t expect the veil of brown magic to surround him as Grand Fields grasped him. The unicorn face crimsoned up like a ripe cherry as True Breeze was turned around to face him, and Grand Fields gave an unsatisfied grunt. Putting True Breeze back down, the other lackey tied up the pegasus’ wings and unstrapped the LOYAL on him, pointing it at the pegasus. The first lackey got up, still dazed and confused, but managed to get behind True Breeze to put him in a full nelson.
Grand Breeze frowned, hocking up another loogy and spitting it on True Breeze, hitting his jacket. The bounty hunter’s eyes grew wide, then terribly cold and malevolent.
“You spit on my jacket.”
The bandit leader cocked an eyebrow. “So?”
“You’re gonna pay for that you know.”
A chuckle was his response as he put his face only an inch in front of True Breeze’s, his rancid breath heavy in the pegasus’ nostrils, his dental hygiene looking like someone had dropped him a few too many times as a colt. “Oh really? How’s that?”
Hummmmmmmm~
Flump- clang clang…
True Breeze’s face remained impassive as the pony with his sniper fell to the ground, his gun clattering past the lackey’s now dead body.
Without waiting for a proper response from the others, he wiggled his hoof around in his sleeve. A shining metallic double blade sprung forth, burying itself into the side of the pony behind him. Screaming in pain, he let go, giving True Breeze the perfect chance to let Grand Fields repay some of his debt.
With one swift motion, he sliced above Grand Fields’ shocked face, lobbing off the stallion’s horn.
“EEEEEYAAARGH!” The ex-unicorn screamed in agony, falling to the ground from the sheer amount of pain that his lost appendage was causing. Sparks of magic tried to connect to create an aura, but everything just fizzled into nothingness.
True Breeze looked around him, at the dead pony, the injured one, and Grand Fields. Both of the injured ponies were rolling about on the ground in pain, uttering choice swear words and other profanities the pegasus didn’t hear too often and even a few he’d never heard before. He stood there for a moment, then looked over at Mr. Hayseed, the OCTAVE-8 in his mouth and pointing at him.
They both stared at each other, neither one saying a thing. Purple eyes met red eyes and locked in a mental combat, both not sure what the other would do. After only a few seconds however, True Breeze made the first move and turned around, surprising Mr. Hayseed.
The pegasus walked past the dead pony and leaned down, grabbing his sniper rifle. In his hooves, he inspected it, rubbing off a few dirt marks and cleaning the barrel out a little with a feather from his wing. After inspecting it from barrel to stock, he nodded and turned around.
TINK!
Red erupted from the downed croony as his head was obliterated from the short range rifle shot. The silence afterwards with thick, threatening to envelop everypony there.
Grand Fields had watched the whole scene and his labored breathing had quickened, fear finally settling into the stallion’s mind. He watched the pegasus look at the dead body impassively, as if studying some rare piece of art and appreciating its fine work. Then the bounty hunter directed his attention towards Mr. Hayseed.
Without pausing, he strapped the LOYALTY back on him and walked over to Mr. Hayseed, who still was staring at him. They stared at each other, once again, but True Breeze wasn’t having anymore stare downs. He put up his hoof and bent it towards himself. After a minute of staring, Mr. Hayseed let go of the OCTAVE, though not without some hesitation.
Walking back over to Grand Fields, he inspected the gun in his hoof like he did with his sniper rifle, only pausing to grab the unicorn horn he had chopped off. He stopped in front of the down stallion but still looked over the gun, noticing several interesting things about it that he would have to check at a later date.
For now, he had one last pony to deal with.
Hummmmmmmmmm~
“AAAAAAUGH!”
“Such a beautiful sound, the cello. Very few understand its beauty, its simplicity…”
Hummmmmmmmmm~
“URGHHHHHH CELESTIA DAMMIT!”
True Breeze smiled. “…it’s power.”
Two rivulets of red poured out of two holes on the stallion’s right forehoof, his other legs clutching it in a desperate attempt to stop the bleeding. True Breeze went to Fields’ side and unlatched the saddle bags, tossing them over by his cart. Noticing that one of the other ponies had a saddle bag, he went over and did a similar process. Done with his looting, he returned his attention back to Fields.
Hummmmmmmmmm~
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHGH! BUCKIN DAMMIT YA BASTARD! YA BUCKIN SON OF A THREE-LEGGED DIAMOND DOG’S BITCH’S RIGHT-“
“Oh shush, no need for such vulgar language Fields though I’m glad you showed me what’s so special about this gun. Music in every shot. How odd yet beautiful at the same time.“ He grabbed the horn again and used it to wipe the phlegm off of his jacket. Inspecting it with cold hatred, he brought that same chill to his smile and bent down. Collecting his own spit, he spat on the horn.
“Now, I think I’m gonna return something of yours with a present of my own…” In disgust, Grand Fields’ eyes grew wide as the horn came closer to his mouth. Clenching it shut, he refused to let it in.
True Breeze puffed out one of his lips and sighed. “Aw… Baby don’t want his food…”
Hummmmmmmmmm~
“GYAAAAAA- MMPH!”
“That’s better!”
Spitting out his own horn, Grand Fields coughed a few times, disgusted and paling with the increasing pain and blood loss. Veins made ridges on his neck and head as he screamed at True Breeze. “YA BUCKIN SICK BASTARD!”
True Breeze smile only grew wider as he stood up, grabbing his gun with him. “Oh, oh really now? Because your payment isn’t quite done yet. I got one more little thing to give ya, then I think we'll be even…” He then rounded over to Field's side, a vulture looking at the dying carcass before him.
Confused, Fields didn't understand what Breeze was planning. Then, he noticed he kept going around. And around. Until finally, he reached his back end, over by his Mark. True Breeze's grin was malicious as he lifted up his hoof, letting the sharpened blade whisk out of it's sleeve. With sudden clarity at what was about to happen, Fields blanched even more and struggled wildly with his two working legs.
“OH NO! OH BUCK NO! PLEASE! DON’T BUCKIN DO-“
Mr. Hayseed had to look away as the blood curdling scream of Grand Fields echoed all around him.
The deed done, True Breeze returned to Grand Fields’ front side with a small smirk on his face. Nodding his head, he looked down at the ex unicorn. “Well, now we’re even. I would have just killed you before, but seems like you’re a bit new to the game. You’re not even a blip on the wanted posters yet! Not worth my bullets to kill you and my energy dragging you and your buddies around…”
The pegasus's grin died as he looked over the panting body before him, blood clumping where it hit dirt. "Well... You might live anyways, if you don't bleed out before you get help... IF you get help."
With a snort, he turned towards the cart, grabbing the saddles and placing them in front of Mr. Hayseed, who refused to look at True Breeze. The pegasus however wasn't noticing and fidgeted with the straps of the cart, eventually getting himself strapped up once more. Saluting at the crippled stallion, he took off at a brisk pace, continuing down the road as if the whole experience had only brought joy.
- - -
After about an hour had gone by, Mr. Hayseed finally looked over at True Breeze. The pegasus was limping a little bit as he walked but he still pushed on at a moderate speed. The earth pony observed the bounty hunter until finally opening his mouth, his thoughts understanding the bounty hunter’s words at last.
“You really are a monster.”
Unexpectedly, True Breeze laughed, loud, coarse, and short, though the words afterwards came through a clenched smile. “Yes... yes I am.”
