> The Symphony of a Winning Lyrist
>  by JaketheGinger
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> The Pony Who Makes Sweet Music
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hearts and Hooves day is so stressful.

But it’s so worth it if you pull it off. And by Celestia, I was going to make this Hearts and Hooves day the best one ever.

I’d been in a relationship with Bon Bon for well over a year now and this would be our second Hearts and Hooves day. Looking back on the first one, I suppose it didn’t really count. Our relationship was new at the time and we were still finding ourselves. We were more like two schoolfillies rather than full grown mares.

This time was going to be different. I was going to pull out all the stops in order to show my fillyfriend how much I loved her.

I could simply take her out on a lovely walk and play my lyre for her, that would have been romantic enough. The problem was that Bon Bon listened to my music almost every single day. I was starting to worry that she was losing interest in it. 

So I wanted to surprise her. Well, a good surprise anyway. Every healthy relationship needs those, right? 

The problem was that I didn’t really know what to do.

Ponyville’s a lovely town, I really couldn’t imagine living anywhere else. But it was so...humdrum. In such a small settlement, you ran out of exciting things to do fairly quickly. Bon Bon and I knew this town like we knew our own flanks. Anything exciting that did happen was unexpected and could never be planned for. It was often disastrous--damn parasprites...

I couldn’t take her out of town either; I just didn’t have the bits. Bon Bon had been telling me to get a job repeatedly over the past couple of weeks. I tried...then I gave up. If I needed any bits, I’d just busk for them. My parents were fairly loaded too. They lived in Canterlot, although I moved to Ponyville years ago. They bought me my own house--nothing too extravagant--and got me set up on the right hoof. I kinda live in Bon Bon’s house now, although I occasionally go back to my place from time to time.

Basically, when it came to bits, there was always a way around. No biggie. Bon Bon didn’t think so. I couldn't worry about work anyway, not when the more pressing matter of what to do with my fillyfriend hung around in my mind.

So I did what I always did when I was stuck in my thoughts: I played music.

I sat on a wooden bench in the middle of Ponyville park, my trusty lyre at hoof. I had a peculiar way of sitting sometimes and a lot of ponies commented on it. It had its uses though; by sitting on my haunches, my forehooves were free to be able to manipulate whatever they pleased. It would often be the case that Bon Bon would recline next to me while I sat like this, strumming my lyre. Many ponies had tried sitting like me and most of them commented on the fact that it pained them to do so. Which was odd because it never hurt me when I did it.

Cloud Kicker’s claims of my flexibility weren’t so exaggerated after all. 

My horn glowed a bright amber as a pair of ethereal hands spread forth from my hooves. They glowed with my magical aura and billowed slightly in the air. This was my hand spell. Levitation was all well and good for lifting up objects but if you wanted to intricately fiddle with something, then this spell was the one for you. 

My lyre could only be played with digits, although lyres did exist that could be played by hoof. They were bigger and clunkier though and made an inferior sound, in my opinion. My lyre and I were inseparable. Only Bon Bon had the rights to split us up. I’ve had it since I was a young filly you see, so it’s very special to me.

Today was the perfect day for some lyre playing, actually. The sky was a bright blue and I could feel the sun’s radiance warm my body. I could’ve fallen asleep right there and then, like some of the other ponies who were lying on the grass nearby.

Hardly anyone was around and all was quiet. I loved moments like this. It made my music stand out and all the more powerful. Not that I was looking for an audience.

One of my magical hands gripped the lyre and the other one waited to pluck the strings. The fingers were essentially an extension of myself so I could feel the strings and be able to tell if I had plucked them too hard or not. It’s hard to explain exactly how it works.

I plucked the strings in an orderly succession, playing a relaxing tune that I had known since my youth. It was a simple piece, but it always helped clear my mind. Exactly what I needed right now. The notes were high pitched and almost playful, the sound bringing a smile to my face. 

The only issue with playing without an audience is that you can get lost in the music, which happened to me most of the time. I was so into my playing that I failed to notice Bon Bon approach and stand next to me. I was only alerted of her presence when I felt her lips on my cheek. I wasn’t surprised though; she always greeted me like this whenever I got lost in my own music. 

“Hey Sweetie,” I greeted her, opening my eyes and putting an end to my tune. ‘Sweetie’ was my nickname for her since she was so talented at making delicious sweets. 

“I thought I’d find you here,” she sat next to me on the bench and peered around before leaning against me. We were a considerate couple in that regard; we’d only get touchy-feely when everypony around us was okay with it or if nopony was there.

“Mhm.” As much as I loved seeing her, it only reminded me of the fact that Hearts and Hooves day was coming up. If I went silent on her though, she’d quickly suspect something. “How was business today?”

“Pretty good!” she answered cheerfully. “The sweethearts are selling well.” Sweethearts were a type of candy that Bon Bon only sold around Hearts and Hooves day. Each had a special message on it--romantic mushy stuff like “Be mine” and “True love”. They tasted really good too, obviously.

“Any left for me?” I asked, feeling a bit peckish. Then again, I always felt peckish when Bon Bon’s sweets were brought up.

“All sold out. You know you always get first taste of a fresh batch,” she reminded me with a smirk and my ears lowered at the unfortunate news.. Being Bon Bon’s sweet tester, I sometimes worried I’d gained weight since hooking up with her.

“Yeah I know. Couldn’t hurt to try asking though.” 

“Sooo...” Bon Bon moved up the bench, putting more of her body on me. “Looking forward to Hearts and Hooves day?”

Oh no, here it comes. “Yeah!” I grinned, trying to sound as enthusiastic as I could. I wasn’t lying either. The prospect of spending a whole day with my fillyfriend, doing romantic things together, was something I always looked forward to. I was just so nervous about impressing her.

Bon Bon giggled, beginning to stroke my side. “If you’re this excited now, imagine what you’ll be like on the actual day!”

“It’ll be the best day ever, trust me.” I reclined back, not sure of how exactly it was going to be the best day ever. I certainly couldn’t think of any ideas while Bon Bon was around, that’s for sure. I needed her off my back. “I’m sleeping at my place tonight, by the way.”

Bon Bon looked up at me, raising an eyebrow. “Why so?”

I thought that’d get her suspicions aroused. Luckily, I had the perfect excuse. “So I can prepare your surprise for the big day, silly!” 

Bon Bon’s mouth formed an ‘o’ shape, then she gave one of her delightful smiles that always made me smile back. “Looking forward to it then!”

Ah. If she wasn’t expecting something before, she certainly was now. Dammit. 

“It’ll certainly fulfill your expectations, trust me.” I should’ve stopped talking now. I was only making my problem worse. I had to back out of the situation...which meant ditching Bon Bon. Hopefully she’d understand. 

“Therefore, I gotta start preparing!” Before she had time to respond, I planted a soft kiss on her lips. She returned it and wrapped her forelegs around me. I couldn’t help but return the embrace. This was only meant to be a quick kiss and go but I enjoyed moments like these far too much. Judging by her eagerness to return the gesture, she did too.

We finally broke off and I got off the bench, levitating my lyre beside me. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Sweetie.” I stroked her chin with my magic hands and she practically purred. “Love you.”

“If that isn’t obvious by now, then we have a problem.” She snickered and gave me another light peck on the lips. “See you tomorrow afternoon then. I can’t wait for what you have planned!”

I certainly could. 

I gave her a wave with a magical hand, before they vanished into thin air. I then turned and headed to...

To be honest, I had no idea where I was going to go.





In hindsight, I should’ve done this way earlier. Hearts and Hooves day was tomorrow. 

I better be able to sleep tonight, despite knowing that I’ve probably bucked everything up. I still had some time and that was far better than no time. So I brainstormed. I thought of anything and everything that there was to do in Ponyville. 

“Bowling?” I muttered out loud. “No no. No. Bowling is about as far from romantic as you can get. The spa?” That did seem like a good option. On any other day at least. It was going to be full of mares pampering themselves for the big day so we’d get no privacy. I shook my head, getting rid of the thought. “A nice romantic dinner? Maybe--no. We’ve done that far too many times before.”

I kicked a stray pebble as I walked along, looking down at the ground. I couldn’t think of anything worthwhile to do with my fillyfriend. I wanted to do something new and fresh with her but at the same time, I didn’t want to take her out of her comfort zone too much. So fishing was out of the question too.

I was beginning to come to horrifying conclusion that I might have to improvise on the day itself. That definitely wouldn’t work. Bon Bon would easily see through it and...I didn’t want to think about how she’d react.

“Lyra?”

My ears perked up and I turned my head towards the sound of the voice. I saw Carrot Top give me a wave and approach me, concern in her eyes. I guess I wasn’t hiding my anxiety very well.

“Hey,” I said simply, giving her a wave in return.

“Are you alright? You look really down and before Hearts and Hooves day...well...” She trailed off but didn’t continue. She didn’t need to. 

“Things with us are good now, Carrot Top, don’t worry,” I reassured her, only to break that seconds later, “but they might not be on Hearts and Hooves day...”

Carrot Top tilted her head slightly. I answered before she could question.

“I have no idea what I’m going to do with Bon Bon.” I stomped a hoof on the ground in mild frustration.

“Aah...” That was all I needed to hear. Great. So Carrot Top thought I was a careless fillyfriend too. “Well you don’t need to do something extreme.”

I went up to Carrot Top so quickly, we almost bashed heads. “But I need to make it special! Unique! A day she’ll remember forever!”

Carrot Top had the nerve to laugh quietly. “Really, Lyra, you’re worrying too much about it.”

“No I’m not! You don’t--” Woah. Thank Celestia I stopped myself there. I didn’t want to say anything stupid to Carrot Top. She didn’t deserve it. I took a deep breath and ran a hoof through my mane. Maybe I was worrying too much...

Carrot Top put a hoof on my shoulder and gave me a reassuring smile. “What is Hearts and Hooves day really about?”

I frowned slightly at that. “Showing how much you love your special somepony. I know that.”

“Exactly. So don’t you think that being so materialistic about it is a bit insulting to both you and Bon Bon?”

I paused, my mouth going agape. She was right. Really right. Celestia, I’d been so stupid...

Showering your partner with gifts upon gifts was the easy way of showing your love for them. It was lazy and expensive. I’d gone about this the completely wrong way. I brought a hoof to my face, sighing. Over a year on and I was still getting things wrong. Yet...

“Yeah, I see what you mean. But...I still want to make it special for her, you know?” 

“That’s understandable.” Admittedly I had tuned out by that point because something Carrot Top was carrying caught my attention. 

“Flowers! I need flowers!” I pointed frantically at the baskets hanging from Carrot Top’s back, filled with delightful plants. “They’ll be perfect!”

I can’t believe I’d forgotten the basics. Flowers were just a given on Hearts and Hooves day. It was an unofficial law that you had to give them to your special somepony on that day at the very least.

“Of course you can have some--”

“Thank you thank you!” With my magic, a swiped a good hoof full of flowers from one of Carrot Top’s baskets. I don’t think she was too pleased at that, as I saw the faintest traces of a frown on her face.

Anyway, flowers: check. What else did I need? Something sweet of course! I couldn’t not have anything like that for my Sweetie. Sugarcube Corner would be my port of call and my only one. Hopefully it wasn’t too jam-packed.

I gave Carrot Top a quick hug as a thanks before galloping off towards the confectionary. “Thanks again, Carrot Top!” I yelled at her as I sped away. I didn’t hear her response but I did see her wave, which was enough for me. I’d been friends with her for many years so she’d understand. 

Flowers and lyre floating alongside me, I made it to the bakery in no time at all. I shouldn’t have rushed there so quickly though. The massive queue that stretched outside the building made it clear that no matter what time I got there, I’d have to wait.

I could deal with that though, as long as I had time to prepare other things. I took my place at the back of the line and prepared to wait. I inspected the ponies in front of me and I could barely recognize any of them. I swear, some ponies from other towns must have come here just for Pinkie Pie’s delicious treats. Understandable I guess, considering they had a legendary status here in Ponyville.

As the queue shifted along at the speed of a slug, I began to recall the many confectionaries I could get Bon Bon. Pinkie and Bon Bon had a friendly rivalry of sorts because they both made sugary things but that didn’t stop neither of them from admitting that the other did make awesome treats. Sometimes they got too carried away though and...well, let’s just say I’m used to getting icing in my mane by now.

Gah. This queue was taking forever. I briefly considered the option of going to Derpy for some muffins, but she’s probably busy enough as it is, what with her two kids and a job. I know her fairly well but we’re not close friends by any means, despite the fact that whenever I do talk to her though, she’s lovely. I couldn’t imagine living her life though. She really turned me off having children. Possibly getting a job too. I never wanted to be as busy as she was. 

Don’t get me wrong, Derpy’s kids and nice enough; Dinky’s an especially adorable filly. Though the reason I don’t talk to Derpy too much is because of her fillies; they cut so much into her time. She seems to love looking after them though so I’m happy for that family. Hm...I wonder if Sparkler has a special somepony yet...

After some time--Goddess knows how long--I finally entered the building proper. About five ponies were in front of me and after leaning to the side, I could see Mr and Mrs Cake rushing around behind the counter frantically. I’m not surprised they’re this busy, I just hope that they got their Hearts and Hooves day too. 

I couldn’t see Pinkie anywhere so she was probably out of sight, either helping the Cakes or simply being Pinkie.

I saw the pony at the front of the queue turn around and leave the building, taking nothing with him. I bit my lip. Maybe he just didn’t want anything?

Then the pony who was behind him left, then the next and so on until I was at the front of the queue. I approached the counter, the Cakes now absent. My heart sank when I saw the dreaded sign on the surface:

Out of stock. Sorry!

I smacked my face with a hoof and dragged it down, groaning. I dejectedly left the line and headed to the front door. That was when Pinkie rushed past me and knocked me to the ground. Thankfully, my flowers and lyre remained in the air.

“I gotta get more ingrediiiiients!!” she yelled in a panicky tone. I sighed, getting up and dusting myself off. I wasn’t hurt, but I wasn’t prepared to queue again even if Pinkie got more goods. Looking outside, I could see that the day was ending anyway.

I walked past the queue, ignoring the confused looks of onlookers as they stared at Pinkie rushing into the distance as a dust trail formed behind her. I headed for home, hopeful that I had some sort of ace in the hole there.





Going back to my house always made feel a little better. It was just so...homey. It wasn’t too big, consisting of only four rooms: kitchen, living room, bedroom and bathroom. Five if you counted the small hall you went through after entering the building.

I closed the door behind me and trotted into the kitchen, heading to the sink and pouring a glass of water, which I then put the flowers in so they’d last the night. I also opened a cabinet just above the kitchen counter and brought down one of my most favorite treats. Mints.

Mints tasted amazing. There was nothing in the world quite like them. They made my mouth feel all tingly and I loved that plus, it made my breath smell lovely so it was a win-win situation for everyone involved. My friend Colgate gave me a supply of mints as well as a mint flavoured toothpaste. There was no escaping them now. 

I popped one in my mouth, the fresh taste making me feel slightly better. I put my lyre gently onto the wooden table in the middle of the kitchen and then went to my bedroom. If I had remembered correctly, there were things in there that would definitely impress Bon Bon.

I opened the wooden closet in my room and stared at the many dresses inside. I grinned, silently thanking my parents for giving me these. When your family has a history of playing music for nobles in Canterlot, the bits tend to stack up fairly quickly. I was a bit of a deviant though. The last concert I played was in school when I was just a filly.

I levitated the clothes out of the closet and admired them each in turn. These would be perfect. I had quite the collection, although they rarely saw any use.

So which one do I pick?

The long white dress with blue tinges and frills was beautiful but so was the sleek black one. Then you have the elegant purple one and the short but stylish green one...

I dumped the dresses on the floor and collapsed onto my bed, burying my head into the mint green covers. One step forward, then two steps back. It seemed inevitable that tomorrow would be purely improvisation--and while I was good at that in music, in life, it generally doesn’t end well. 

I decided to go ahead and get some sleep. Maybe it’d come to me in a dream. Or maybe I’d just get nightmares. Either way, worrying about tomorrow wasn’t doing me any good and the more rested I felt, the better I would look.

I put my head on the white pillow and pulled the covers over me, getting all nice and snug. Whenever I sleep at Bon Bon’s, I always forget how comfy my own bed is. I shut my eyes, anticipating the next day with a pit of dread in my stomach.





Today, I beat my personal best of how fast I could get out of bed. 

As soon as I opened my eyes, it just came to me. I instantly knew how to solve the dress situation and scrambled out of bed, throwing the covers off me and diving onto the floor. It was so obvious!

Only one mare could help me now: Rarity.

I skipped breakfast, rushing out of the door and slamming it behind me. I made my way across Ponyville, going as fast as my legs would take me. I didn’t care if I looked like my blood had been replaced by sugar (or if I had been possessed by Pinkie); as long as Bon Bon didn’t see me, all was well.

In only a couple of minutes, I was at Carousel Boutique, banging on the door with a hoof. I desperately needed Rarity’s help and I wasn’t about to take no for an answer. After about twenty seconds of straight knocking though, I finally realized that the shop was closed. Probably would have helped if I looked at the sign first.

Where else would she be then? Sugarcube Corner maybe, I often saw her friends hang around there. It was my best shot at finding her for the moment. 

I turned around and found the beast from Tartarus itself staring right at me: Rarity’s dreaded cat. I had heard stories of how bad tempered this moggy was and I didn’t want to mess with it. Unfortunately, I think I already had. My loud knocking must have awoken it because it looked like it had bed hair. 

The cat stared at me with a piercing glare and I found myself backing away towards the door. When my flank hit the building, I carefully tried to sidestep away. Any sudden movement would probably provoke it. I didn’t keep my eyes off it until I was at a safe distance and when I was, I slowly turned my head away and briskly trotted off. Big mistake. The demon of an animal seized its chance and leapt at me, sinking its sharp claws right into my flank.

I clenched my teeth together, tearing up due to the sudden pain that emanated from my behind. I tried to shake the cat off but that only made the pain worse. I began pacing in circles, trying to take my mind off the pain. The only thing that would have made this whole ordeal worse was if Bon Bon saw me.

Oh. But Cloud Kicker seeing me is a much better option. Perfect.

I spotted her and Blossomforth flying by above and just knew that they had seen me. My face went as red as my wounded flank was. I wasn’t going to hear the end of this from Cloud Kicker.

She and I met in just as unusual circumstances, I suppose. A few years before I was with Bon Bon, she saw my playing on my lyre with my hand spell. And of course, being Cloud Kicker, she started hitting on me. She commented on my hand spell and said how she’d like to “experiment” with it. Fast forward half an hour later and we were banging. In my defense, only the most frigid of ponies turn down a night with Cloud Kicker.

By this point, I was up to my breaking point with this stupid cat. I bit my lip, preparing for the worst. After taking a deep breath, I did it and using levitation, I ripped the cat away from me. I can only describe the pain I felt as being similar to having a band-aid ripped from you. A band-aid with rusty nails in it.

The cat flailed viciously in the air, no doubt trying to claw my eyes out now. I hobbled to the dustbins outside the Boutique and dumped the beast in one of them, putting the lid on top. That’d teach it a lesson. It wasn’t like the animal could tell Rarity I did it anyway.

I peered at my wounds. They weren’t bleeding as much as I suspected but they still looked painful. So before finding Rarity, I needed to put a bandage on my flank. Great.

I really hoped that this wasn’t an ominous sign of what was to come.





I speedily went back home, got myself patched up and headed back out again so I wouldn’t waste time. The bandage on my flank was embarrassing but I’d live with it for now. 

It was still morning so I assumed that if Rarity had a date, she wouldn’t be out with him yet. Knowing that, I traveled to Sugarcube Corner, hoping that she’d be there for me to take all for myself. 

Apparently she was there and I had just caught her walking away from Sugarcube Corner, right towards the spa. I had to intercept her now; if she entered that spa, it would be hours before she got out. 

I galloped towards her, ignoring the protests from my pained flank and practically leaped in front of her. She almost fell over backwards in shock but I wasn’t about to let her say anything until I had said my say.

“Rarity! Thank goodness I found you! I really really need your help!” I exclaimed, resisting the urge to grab her by the shoulders and take her away for myself. 

She regained her standard regal composure and raised an eyebrow at me. “Whatever for?”

“Dresses! I need to pick a dress for my day with Bon Bon!” 

“Ah, well...” She gazed wistfully in the direction of the spa so I simply got in the way of her view, trying to look as pleading as possible. “I suppose I can offer you my assistance.” 

That was all I needed. I suddenly grabbed Rarity’s foreleg and started to drag her back to my house. “Thank you thank you let’s go!” 

Despite the fact that she pretty much confirmed that she was going to help me, I didn’t let go of Rarity the whole way. Chances were high that she hated the invasion of her personal space so I knew I owed her something for her help..and for dumping her cat in a bin.

Yeah, that could have gone more smoothly. Eh, it’ll survive.

I barged into my house and stormed into my bedroom before I finally let go of Rarity. Upon calming down a bit, I immediately felt embarrassed. My room was still in the state I left it in this morning. I could hear Rarity make a quiet ‘tsk’ at it all. 

“Hectic morning, hehehe...” Could I not have laughed anymore awkwardly there? I hurriedly enveloped the bed sheets with my magic and made them neat and proper. After that, I lifted up the many clothes I had carelessly scattered on the floor. “So this is what I got.”

Rarity took a moment to inspect each of the items in turn. She must have been entranced by them, as she had this almost silly grin on her face every time she touched the fabrics with her hooves. 

“These are simply divine!” Her eyes sparkled along with my dress as she turned it over in front of her. “I never knew you had such an elegant taste, Lyra,” she commented, still focused on the hovering clothes.

“My parents gave them to me, so I didn’t really choose them.” I get along well with my folks, although that’s probably due to the fact that I hate arguing with them so I just nod and smile whenever they gave me something I’d rather not have. Like the time they gave me a flute. I still remember catching that cough from Bon Bon and the suffering I endured just to get out of playing it.

“Are they nobles?” Rarity asked, glancing at me for just a moment.

“Musicians in Canterlot.” My parents were actually quite popular back in the day. My father was a lyrist like me while my mother played the piano. They claimed that they played for the Princesses once, though not as a personal summons, and I believed them. They rarely played together in public. They kept their duets to themselves, which I thought was really romantic. My family has always been like that.

These days they’re not as popular as they were, thanks to the rise of young blood like the cellist Octavia. There was also the relatively newfound popularity of a different style of music with artists such as DJ-PON3.  Not that I hated them for this, mind you. In fact, it was one of my dreams to play a duet with Octavia.

“Aah, I see. Well, let’s get down to business then!” Rarity exclaimed, pointing at the purple dress. “That one looks fabulous, darling.” 

With her looks and accent, I was surprised that Rarity didn’t live in Canterlot. I assumed that the reason she stayed was because her friends were all here. I hoped that was the reason, because it was a really sweet one.

“Mhm.” I nodded, then paused when a realization struck me. “No! I can’t wear that one!”

Rarity blinked at me, raising an eyebrow. “Why ever not?”

“I wore that one for our anniversary a couple months back.” Good times. With the help of my parents, I managed to get Bon Bon and I in one of the most renowned restaurants in Canterlot: The Silver Saddle. The prices were outrageous considering the size of the portions we received but we had a great time anyway. Bon Bon said she’d arrange our next anniversary so I wouldn’t need to worry about topping the last one.

I put the anniversary dress back in the closet while Rarity peered at the others, pointing at a frilly orange dress. “That would go fantastically with your eyes.”

I bought the dress closer to myself, Rarity looking at me expectantly. I could definitely agree with her statement...but the dress was about as frilly as it could possibly be and I didn’t want to look like some pampered princess. “No no, don’t like it.” I shook my head, putting the dress alongside the purple one.

Rarity huffed a little, frowning at me. “Really, Lyra, you asked for my help and now you’re disagreeing with everything I pick!”

I’d probably be annoyed too if I were in her position. The next one that she picked would be the one. No ‘buts’ allowed. This was Rarity of all ponies, helping me in her area of expertise. I could trust her word.

Rarity rubbed her chin, thoughtful hums escaping from her. After a while, she settled on the sleek black dress. I didn’t have to time to voice my own opinions before she started putting the dress on for me. “Try it before you say anything,” she ordered in a motherly tone.

It was comfortable to wear so that was a good start. I looked down myself, unsure how I looked in it until Rarity got the mirror off my wall and presented it in front of me. The mirror wasn’t quite big enough to fit all of me in but what I did see, I liked. I did a full twirl, a smile appearing on my face. This was definitely the one.

Perhaps best of all was the fact that it covered my flank, thus hiding my bandages. I knew chances were high that Rarity had seen them. It was probably why all the dresses she had picked were long ones. Either she hadn’t noticed or she just didn’t ask about it. 

Apparently I wasn’t completely through yet as Rarity put the mirror on the bed and started rumaging through my closet. I didn’t have much in there but regal stuff. It’s not like I wore clothes everyday. 

“Hm...you just need a couple of accessories to complete the image.” She went out of the closet, finding nothing. My drawers were her next item of interest and she rigorously searched through them, conveniently putting everything back in place once she was done.

Eventually, she found something. “Aha! I think this shall suffice,” she proclaimed, fitting a black headband on me. I brought the mirror to my face and checked out my new look. Rarity certainly knew what she was doing.

Even after all this, she apparently wasn’t done yet. She eyed me up and down before asking, “Do you have any jewellery?” 

“Of course I do!” I replied cheerfully, going down onto the floor and looking under the bed. It took me awhile to find it in the dark but I managed to bring out a small wooden box. I stood up, opening the box and presenting the contents to Rarity.

Her face immediately lit up. “These are simply...simply amazing!” I couldn’t help but smirk at her reaction.

Due to the fact that I wasn’t always here, I hid items of high value around the house (with the exception of the dresses). Inside the box was a collection of fine jewellery, some plain and others encrusted with sparkling jewels. It wasn’t the most valuable set in Equestria but selling them would have made a pony’s life a lot easier. 

Rarity levitated them out of the box and slowly spun them around her head. For a moment, I was afraid she was going to take them for her own. This was the bearer of the Element of Generosity I was talking about though, so I quickly dispelled those thoughts from my head.

I thought she had gotten lost in a dream, yet she seemed to snap out of it before I could say anything. With a determined certainty, she nodded to herself and put an aquamarine pendant around my neck. I grinned, letting out a small squeal of excitement. I couldn’t help it; I hadn’t looked this beautiful in a while.

“You look outstanding.” The tone of her voice confirmed how sincere she was. “Bon Bon’s a very lucky mare to have you.”

As egotistical as it sounds, in this outfit I had to agree with her. I was quick to voice my thanks towards her. “Thank you, Rarity. Honestly. I kinda pushed you into this so you didn’t have to help but you did anyway. I owe you so much--”

“Think nothing of it, dear,” Rarity interrupted nonchalantly, heading towards the bedroom door. “Now, I must go. Things to do and ponies to see!”

“Like your special somepony?” I gave her a sly grin. 

Oddly enough, she hesitated before answering. “Something like that. Yes.” She put a hoof on the door knob. “Have a lovely day.” 

“You too!” I smiled at her brightly, watching her leave the room. I felt a tinge of worry poke at my insides. Something about her as she left was off. Surely she had a special somepony? Who wouldn’t go out with Rarity? 

If she didn’t have anypony then I definitely owed her for saying something so careless and I sighed, looking back at myself in the mirror, my reflection strengthening my resolve. I couldn’t worry about her now, not when I had my Sweetie to impress.





I had a light lunch before setting outside. The nerves were really building up within me now and I didn’t want to throw up all over my fillyfriend. Or anywhere else for that matter.

I popped a mint in my mouth, pacing around the kitchen table. Half of me was excited at what lay ahead and the other half was terrified of what could happen. Regardless of my doubts, I knew that turning up would be far better than being a no show. That would break Bon Bon’s heart and I’d rather get attacked by an army of angry cats than let that happen.

After swallowing my mint, I took a deep breath, got the flowers from yesterday and practically marched to the front door. “Okay, Lyra...you can do this. Go out there and give your fillyfriend a real good time!” I told myself, my words actually spurring me on. I swung the door open and stepped outside into the open air.

By now, the day was perfect for my outing with Bon Bon. I stood outside my house for a bit, basking in the afternoon sun. Though the sight of couples in the distance made me move on. Every couple looked serene and happy. Exactly how I wanted Bon Bon to feel. 

As I walked, it didn’t take me long to figure out that I may have been slightly overdressed for today. A few other mares were wearing dresses but they were nothing like mine. I merely shrugged. If nothing else, I’d at least made the effort.

On closer inspection of the other mares, I realized that while they weren’t wearing anything very extravagant, all of them had done up their manes and covered their faces in make-up. I hadn’t done anything in that department. I wasn’t going to turn back now, no. I was never one for huge dollops of make-up anyway.

Along the way to Bon Bon’s house, I had failed to notice a single pony who was by themself. Either all the single ponies were hiding in their homes or everypony had somepony to share the day with. The romantic in me hoped it was the latter.

I beamed when I saw my fillyfriend’s home. Bon Bon’s house was bigger than mine, having a second floor. Her bedroom had a open balcony where she and I shared many a kiss during the night. It was a great place to sit back, relax and watch the stars. 

I stopped before her front door, checking my breath. Yep. Still minty as ever. This was it; I was ready as I was ever going to be.

I forced myself to knock on the door rhythmically and hid the flowers behind my tail. This was the worst part because I knew she was coming but I didn’t know what she was going to think or say. It felt agonizing, standing there by myself, seconds feeling like drawn out minutes.

The door opened and there she was, the love of my life. She looked beautiful. The simplicity of her outfit really made her beauty stand out; the only things she wore were a few flowers in her mane and a necklace with a red jewel in the middle. 

We stood there, both speechless at the sight of one another. I didn’t know what to do or say. I wanted to give her a big hug, but I was afraid that by simply touching her I’d break her lovely image.

Apparently she felt the same way. She raised a hoof and gingerly stroked my cheek, giving me one of those smiles that reminded me of why I loved her. “You look amazing, Lyra.”

“And you look fantastic.” I revealed the flowers to her. “For you, my special somepony.”

Bon Bon gasped quietly and carefully took a yellow petalled flower from the bunch and put it with the others in her mane. “Thank you, Lyra...I’m not sure whether to keep these or eat them.”

I gave her a playful smirk. “Whichever you want. They’re your gift.” 

After I said that, she took the plunge and chomped down the flowers. Judging by the satisfied look on her face afterwards, they tasted really good. “I wasn’t expecting a surprise like this. I thought you were going to go a little overboard today.”

I laughed, trying to push the memories of yesterday out of my mind while trying not to look awkward. “I just wanted you to be happy.”

“I’m more than happy,” Bon Bon replied, leaning closer to me and whispering, “I’m in love.” And with that, she gave me a passionate kiss on the lips. Her actions unleashed my full excitement, drowning all my previous anxieties. I closed my eyes and reveled in the moment.

Bon Bon broke away at just the right moment. The kiss was long enough to savour but not too long as to drag on. “Take me to the park?” she asked, outstretching a hoof.

“Gladly.” I took her hoof in my own and led her away from the park, bubbling with joy. I was practically skipping, humming a delightful tune to myself.

Above the park, the skies were completely clear. Everything seemed to be going right now, thank Celestia. Somehow, I think I had pulled it off. 

We entered the park, spotting quite a few other couples milling about. The atmosphere was one of calm and--more importantly--romance. Bon Bon started to lean on me, letting out a contented sigh. I nuzzled her mane, taking a whiff of the perfume she had on. She smelt like sweet, sweet candy.

Then I noticed Rarity sitting opposite Applejack, the pair both having cups of tea. I gave a little squee of delight at the sight of them. I knew Rarity wouldn’t be alone today!

Before my date could go on, I felt obliged to thank her again. “Be right back!” I exclaimed, dashing away from Bon Bon and charging towards Rarity.

“Rarity! Rarity!” Rarity turned her head towards me and I managed to stop myself before I crashed into her. All of my success today was because of her and it felt so good knowing that I had made it into the clear. I jumped up and down on the spot, wanting to make this quick and to the point.

"Hey Rarity glad I ran into you thanks again for your help Bon Bon loves the dress oh hey Applejack nice catch Rarity she's cute anyway gotta go Bon Bon's waiting for me just wanted to thank you again bye Rarity bye Applejack!"

Then I zoomed off back to my fillyfriend, leaving the pair behind. I surprised even myself at how I managed to say all of that in only one breath. Hopefully it didn’t look like I was rushing my thanks. I was genuinely thrilled and wanted to leave those two to their date.

I went back to my place besides Bon Bon, who was staring at me with a confused look. “And that was about...?”

“I was just thanking Rarity for something she helped me with earlier!” Keep it vague, Lyra, then it’s not really a lie. I didn’t want Bon Bon to find out that it was Rarity who really did all the hard work. I nudged her in the side, steering the conversation down a slightly different route. “So, Applejack and Rarity, eh?”

We both looked at the couple, giggling when we saw that Rarity had accidentally over filled Applejack’s cup. “First time nerves,” Bon Bon remarked, “Isn’t it so cute?”

“I think it’s really sweet how two mares of such polar lifestyles can find love together.” I smiled nostalgically. Bon Bon and I were that awkward once. “I wish them the best.”

“Me too. They’re both such hard workers and they deserve all the happiness they can get.” We kept walking, leaving the new couple behind us. Perhaps I could give Rarity some advice with romance in order to repay her. Although I had a feeling she’d be offended if I straight up gave it to her.

We came to a fork in the path and Bon Bon took us down the left side. Other couples smiled at us as we went by, which we returned. We may not have been the longest running couple in Ponyville but we were arguably one of the most famous. Sometimes I didn’t know how to feel about that. A lot of ponies were happy for us but at the same time, gossip sometimes spread around far too easily.

It wasn’t long before we bumped into another couple. Well, they weren’t officially a couple. Neither of them were really glammed up for the day so they were probably enjoying the day as friends.

“Hey Colgate, Caramel,” I started, their ears twitching at the sound of my voice. They turned and gave us both a smile with a nod.

“It’s the couple of the hour!” Colgate sang. We didn’t blush at all, far too used to attention like that. “I hope you’re enjoying your day together.”

“Oh we are, believe me,” Bon Bon answered, nuzzling my neck. She wasn’t normally this affectionate in public but Hearts and Hooves day was a free pass for this kind of thing. 

“And what about you two?” I asked, smirking suggestively.

Caramel blinked. “Oh no, we’re just going out as friends,” he explained. I didn’t know Caramel that much but he seemed like a nice, dependable stallion. He and Colgate would probably make a nice pairing. 

“Mhm. It’s nice having somepony to talk to without it being romantic,” Colgate continued, nudging Caramel slightly. The only problem with Hearts and Hooves Day was that it was a depressing day to be alone on. Thank Celestia I don’t have that problem.

“Yeah, although I couldn’t resist giving Colgate some chocolates.” Whoa, Caramel had managed to do that? Colgate is such a clean teeth freak, it can be hard to get her to eat anything that actually tastes good. If Caramel got her to eat some chocolates, then either they’re very good friends or there was far more going on between them. 

Colgate grinned sheepishly, rubbing her foreleg while Caramel kept talking, “We did have to go back to house to clean our teeth though.” Aah, that sounds about right. Now his feat seemed less impressive. Still a nice gesture though.

“How goes your business, Caramel?” Bon Bon asked. Caramel had his own stand where he sold...caramel treats. It was apparently a family tradition so I’m not surprised at his obvious name. Sometimes he’d join forces with the apple family, selling caramel coated apples, where the profits would be split evenly. 

Like Colgate, his cutie mark seemed to have nothing to do with his job. I didn’t know enough about him to tell anyone why though. I’d have to ask some time. 

“Well enough. But I think your sweethearts are damaging my sales slightly,” Caramel responded jokingly. It was kind of funny how Colgate was friends with two ponies whose profession was to sell sugary treats. 

“We’ll let you two get to it then,” Colgate said, with an awkward laugh, putting an abrupt end to our conversation. She did always get embarrassed whenever someone pointed out her obsession with clean teeth. But who would tell her to change? If anything, everypony should follow in her hoofsteps and there would be bright smiles all around. 

On second thoughts, maybe not everypony. Pinkie, Bon Bon and me to name a few.

“Enjoy your day.” Bon Bon stopped nuzzling me and waved a hoof as they passed. I gave them a polite nod as a goodbye and when they were gone, we kept going down the path. “They both need a special somepony.” 

“It’d be nice. If we’re going to talk about how many ponies deserve partners though, we’re going to be here for a while.” Ponyville was one of the friendliest towns I knew and that was all there was to it. There were couples--believe me, you had the fillies to prove that much--but so many ponies were still single. Bon Bon and I were one of the few recent success stories.

Off the top of my head, Colgate, Carrot Top, Berry Punch, Derpy, Cheerilee, Pinkie, Twilight Sparkle and Fluttershy deserved special someponies of their own. Heck, even Cloud Kicker. I think the reason she got around so much was because she was trying to fill a void in her life. I wasn’t about to ask her about that but if it ever came up, I’d talk to her. On the other hoof, she genuinely seemed to love what she did.

Despite all of the single ponies out there, I wasn’t about to play matchmaker. Love is a delicate thing. You have to let it take its own course. Hah, listen to me prattle on about love. I’m such a Heartstrings.

Bon Bon steered us off the path and up a small grassy hill. I wasn’t about to object, strange as it was. There didn’t seem to be anything here of interest. When we reached the top, Bon Bon stopped and looked at me.

“It’s a shame you’re wearing that special dress.” I blinked. I thought she had liked it? The sly tone of her voice and that smirk she wore betrayed her words, but I wasn’t sure what she was hinting at. 

“U-um...why?” I spluttered out. It can’t fall apart now. Not after what happened. 

Bon Bon simply pointed up and I looked into the sky. There was a single gray cloud above and flying besides it was Cloud Kicker. She looked at me and gave me a sneaky smirk.

Dammit. Yeah. She knew about the cat fiasco.

Then for no good reason whatsoever, she bucked the cloud and sent rain pouring down on us. Had...had Bon Bon and Cloud Kicker set this up just to prank me?! It was only a few seconds before I was completely wet, my beautiful outfit now ruined. This was not funny. Nopony pranks their special somepony on Hearts and Hooves day! That’s just...horrible!

I can’t believe this! I had made an effort, a really good effort, to impress Bon Bon for this special day. And then she just goes and pulls a stupid prank on me?! She better have a damn good reason for this!

And then I felt her lips on mine. 

What?

My mind was all muddled up but I returned the kiss. It was definitely passionate but my confusion prevented me from fully enjoying it. I needed an explanation right now.

When we broke apart, I mumbled trying to ask a question then simply fell back on my haunches. I rubbed my eyes and examined the scene again.

Rain, plus me, plus Bon Bon makes...

Oh. Oh.

I really love you Bon Bon.

She had gone and created probably the most romantic scene ever. I didn’t even care that I was soaking wet anymore. Bon Bon looked slightly worried at my reaction but I was so filled with euphoria that I pounced at her before she could say anything, bringing her to the floor.

Her eyes widened in surprise but soon she was giggling delightfully. “Surprise.”

I held her face with my hooves, bringing her’s closer to mine. “Shut up and enjoy the moment.”

Then I went in for the kill and snogged her. I wasn’t holding back, not for this. Even when my eyes were closed, I could still see the mare that I cherished so dearly in her beautiful glory. My hooves found themselves wrapped against Bon Bon’s body and hers were around mine. We pulled each other closer together and started to caress each other gently. Our wet bodies only made the contact more pleasurable.

We had never been this passionate in public before. I didn’t care. It felt so right. I didn’t even care if Cloud Kicker was watching us or not. 

Bon Bon pushed me away but only slightly so our lips parted. My body wanted more but there was something I wanted to know first. “How?”

She looked so good, lying there, wet mane covering her eyes. “I asked Rainbow Dash if she could set it up. But it seems Cloud Kicker did it instead.”

I glanced up for just a moment. Cloud Kicker was gone but I bet if she had been watching us, she enjoyed it. I’d have to thank both her and Rainbow Dash sometime. 

“You’re brilliant.” I looked back down at my fillyfriend. There was only one other thing I could say. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Lyra.” With that, she pulled me back to her and we were at it again. All the build up and suffering I endured was totally worth it. This was without a doubt, the best Hearts and Hooves day ever.

Bon Bon had completely surprised me and for that, I was very thankful. Again, in my worry to impress Bon Bon I had forgotten one of the most important rules of dating: the relationship had to be equal. We had both surprised each other today, although I think her surprise for me was the better one. Nevermind. It takes two to kiss after all. 

I wanted this moment to last forever. The pitter patter of the rain was the perfect backdrop to our kissing and cuddling and stroking Bon Bon’s wet fur felt so good. 

Bon Bon eventually pushed me away again. “As much as I love this, we should really stop.”

I had to agree with her there, no matter how much I disliked it. Had we kept going, it wouldn’t be long before we started to bang and neither of us wanted to bang in public, even if it was Hearts and Hooves day. Unless...

“We don’t have to stop. There’s always home,” I suggested. Bon Bon’s eyes lit up with realization and we both got off each other, standing up. 

I stared into Bon Bon’s eyes and she stared into mine. Then we both glanced at Ponyville. We could see Bon Bon’s house from here. Without any prompting, we both sped off together, galloping relentlessly towards the house. My heart was beating so fast at this point, I thought it’d burst out of my chest and do a little dance.

We were caked in a mixture of mud, rain and sweat. My dress was ruined probably beyond repair. If Rarity ever found out, she’d most likely slap me until my cheek was numb. Good thing she was distracted by Applejack. 

Ponies stared at us when we rushed past them, so many questions in their heads no doubt. Forget them. We were having fun and nopony had the right to stop that.

The moment we entered the house--making sure to lock the door behind us--the first thing we went for was the bed. 

Wow. 

Did I ever mention how much I loved Hearts and Hooves day? 



> The Pony With the Minty Fresh Breath
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Judging from how Bon Bon and I spent the night together, I can safely say that Hearts and Hooves day was a success. After a couple of days, life was settling back to the norm for me now: get up, eat, socialize, play music, spend time with Bon Bon, sleep. It sounds mundane, but it also means I live at my own pace. 

At the moment, I was in the ‘spend time with Bon Bon’ portion of the day. With Hearts and Hooves day behind us, we were back to following the ‘no passion in public’ rule, so we were just strolling along in Ponyville side by side. 

By now my wounds had healed, meaning I didn’t have to wear any embarrassing band-aids in public. Bon Bon did ask about my injuries, but I think I gave her a pretty good excuse. It’s a common mistake to accidentally fall into a bush, isn’t it? 

We were strolling past Sugarcube corner--neither of us feeling particularly peckish right now--when I suddenly remembered something important. 

“If all goes well, I should get my monthly bits from my parents in a couple of days,” I stated. Mom and Dad were always reliable like that, giving me enough every month to get by, but nothing extra for luxuries. 

Bon Bon’s ears twitched and she blinked. “Oh... good.” She smiled, although looking at her I could tell it was incredibly forced. I stopped myself from sighing out loud.

“Yep,” I said as neutrally as I could muster. I couldn’t deal with that talk right now.

“Hm, not many ponies around,” I continued, looking around. “I was hoping we’d bump into Colgate.” My fillyfriend gave me a curious glance. “Yeah, I want to ask her how the rest of Hearts and Hooves day went for her.” I hadn’t seen her since then, mainly because she has a job and I don’t. And trust me, the dentist’s is not a fun place to hang out.

“You’ll see her sometime soon, I’m sure.” Bon Bon stared off into the distance, and a big grin appeared on her face. “Cherry Berry! Over here!” she called out, waving over a pink mare with a golden mane. 

Cherry noticed and, of course, trotted our way. “Bon Bon!” She gave her a hug, before turning her head to look at me. “Lyra.”

“Cherry,” I replied, trying to sound civil. Gah. I wanted a distraction, just not this annoying mare for one. 

She then ignored me, going back to Bon Bon. “Feels like I haven’t seen you in ages!” There’s a reason for that, Cherry. “How are you?”

“Pretty good! What about you? How did Hearts and Hooves day go?” Bon Bon asked cheerfully. I prepared myself for the ordeal that was about to come.

“Well I had this really romantic date with this hunk of a stallion. And he doesn’t come from Ponyville either. No no, he’s from Manehattan!...” 

Manehattan? Give me a break. I’d actually be impressed if he came from Canterlot. And even then, he would have to be a noble. Despite my family being quite well off, I would have trouble finding a stallion noble of my own. But why would I bother, anyway? I got Bons right here. 

“...and we went in my hot air balloon and had such a romantic picnic in the skies! Then we watched the sun go down together...” 

Yep. Because doing something you do almost everyday is really making an effort. 

“...when we landed, he surprised me by taking me out on a evening dinner! Oh, it was perfect!”

Bon Bon just stood there and took everything in, smiling. I found Cherry’s tale a bit hard to believe; names are important, you know.

I went ahead and asked her, “What’s his name?” 

“Snow Whip,” Cherry answered, her grin slightly smug as she ran a hoof through her golden mane. 

I still wasn’t fully convinced. “So, can we see him?”

“Yes!” Bon Bon exclaimed, excitedly stamping her hooves on the ground. “I want to know what he’s like!”

Cherry glared at me for just a second before answering confidently, “Well it was just a one time thing. You know, for fun! Besides, I’m not looking for a relationship anyway.” Forget it, this is Cherry we’re talking about here. 

Obviously, Bon Bon was more worried than I was. “You sure, Cherry?”

Cherry rubbed Bon Bon’s mane affectionately. I tried my best to hide the slight scowl on my face. “Of course I’m sure. No stallion could ever meet my standards anyway! So, how was your day?” Cherry asked my fillyfriend, not even sparing me a look.

“Oh, it was wonderful. Truly wonderful...” Bon Bon sighed happily, leaning onto me and I allowed myself to relax for a moment. It didn’t last long though, and soon we were standing next to each other again.

“I suppose it would’ve been.” There was a hint of sarcasm in Cherry’s voice, but Bon Bon didn’t notice it. 

“Yeah...” Bon Bon trailed off, then snapped back to reality. “Lyra and I were just walking around town. Wanna join us?” 

Dammit, Bon Bon.

Cherry took no hesitation in accepting the offer, and now our pair had turned into a trio. I just looked forward, trying to block out Cherry’s grating voice, and resigned to my fate as the third wheel. 

“Got any new jokes?” Bon Bon asked Cherry.

Cherry nodded swiftly. “Duh! Okay, I got this really good one.” Here we go. “So, a earth pony, a pegasus and a unicorn are--” Oh good grief, not one of these ones. They have the longest build up for the most disappointing pay off.

“...finally, the unicorn looks into the magic mirror and says ‘I work--’ and then was sucked into the mirror for lying!” 

Did she just...? 

I looked at them both; Bon Bon was giggling madly. Cherry was snickering and gave me a sneaky glance. 

Yeah. She totally made that about me.

I could see where this was going. “Heh, that was alright I guess. But as much as your jokes are hilarious, Cherry, I think I’m going to go play my lyre.”

I tried to make a swift exit but Bon Bon pecked me on the cheek before I could get away. “See you later then. Have fun!”

“Yeah, you too, Bons.” I gave her a sweet smile, then waved at both of them before trotting off. I had backed down again, but it’s always better to do that than let the pony you love get caught up in the crossfire. 

I walked off, grumbling to myself and started to head back home. I could think of something else to do there. At the very least, my lyre was there. 

Playing some music would lift my spirits. Music lets you channel your emotions through it. It’s so easy to just let yourself go on the dancefloor, breaking out all sorts of embarrassing dance moves, and not having a single care in the world.

See, I really did know my music; I had studied music and its history at Canterlot College. I didn’t get anything to show for it, though. Some may call that a wasted opportunity, but I think that was when I found myself.

I peered around Ponyville. Bon Bon and Cherry were gone, and there wasn’t anypony else I could recognize. I shrugged and kept on walking towards home. I had no obligations to fulfill, so I thought I would go ahead and get my lyre.

“Lyra!”

I jerked my head to the side, and sawColgate galloping towards me. “Colgate! Good to see you, I’ve been wondering how your date with Caramel went.”

“That’ll have to wait. Sorry, but I’m only here to remind you that you have an appointment with me tomorrow.” She had her ‘professional’ voice on, which always felt weird hearing. I was her friend--I didn’t mind if she relaxed a little when it came to me and her job. 

I tilted my head slightly, raising an eyebrow. “I made an appointment? I don’t remember doing that.” 

“Well you did. Unfortunately, I can’t rearrange it either. My schedule is filled to the brim with patients and I can’t switch any appointments around.” I assumed she wasn’t working today because she wasn’t wearing her white coat.

“It must have slipped my mind then. What time?”

“Eleven AM.” I mentally scribbled that down in my head and put it in the recesses of my memory. I’d probably remember it anyway since I had nothing planned for tomorrow.

“I’ll be there. Now with that out of the way...” I leant closer to her. “How did your date go?”

She took a step back from me. “Sorry, Lyra, I don’t have time to talk. I’m on break and I don’t want to be late for my next patient.” She broke her professionalism for just a moment, giving me a sincere smile and dropping the voice. “We’ll talk later, okay?”

“Alright. See you later, then.” I waved at her, giving her permission to gallop off. It’s really boring having friends who work, because you sometimes end up being by yourself and having nothing to do. It was so much easier when I had friends in school, who had a bunch of hours off to mess around. It’s a good thing I have my music to waste away the hours.

When I got home, I found Derpy stuffing some letters into my mailbox in her usual, clumsy manner. She was so busy trying to get them in, she didn’t notice me stride up to her and tap her on the shoulder.

“Oh! What?” She looked around rapidly, her eyes going in different directions. Once she spotted me, they settled back to normal. “Hi, Lyra! Mail call!”

“I can see that,” I teased. A letter that wasn’t properly in the mailbox fell to the ground and I was quick to pick it up with my magic. “Er... looks like one letter really wanted to escape the bag.”

Derpy did a double take as I showed her the intended address. “Oh! Sorry!” She hastily put the letter back in her saddlebag, and smiled sheepishly. 

“Don’t worry. It happens.” She probably had to leave like Colgate had, but I couldn’t resist asking her the question. “How did Hearts and Hooves day go?”

“Oh.” For a second, I swore I saw sadness in her eyes. It was quickly replaced by her normal bubbliness. “Nothing eventful. Just stayed at home with my darling muffins.”

“Aaaw. Your children are adorable, so I bet you had a great time together,” I replied. 

“Yeah, I don’t think my life would be complete without them,” Derpy replied and I couldn’t stop a warm smile appearing on my face. 

Unfortunately, she couldn’t stop to chat. “But I need to deliver more mail! Bye!” The mailmare closed my mailbox, even though I was right there, and took off into the air.

I couldn’t imagine what it must have been like to have two fillies, a taxing job and being a single mother. I don’t know how Derpy manages. What I do know is that she needs somepony of her own. It’d do her wonders, probably. 

I re-opened the mailbox and got out the small stack of letters it contained. It was mostly junk, but there was one nice surprise. A letter from Canterlot meant a letter from my parents, and that meant bits. I went inside my home and threw the junk letters in the bin, then tore open the letter from my parents and got out the enclosed bits, putting them in the glass money jar in my kitchen. It was hidden in one of the top cupboards, right behind loads of cooking ingredients like sugar, spice, and everything nice.

Then I turned my attention to my mother’s hoofwriting. I only got letters from my parents two times a month at most, so it was always nice to hear how they’ve been doing.

Lyra,

Your Father and I both hope that you had a lovely Hearts and Hooves day with Bon Bon. When you write next, please tell us how it went!

As for us, we went to the fountain where your father proposed to me. Years on, and he still knows how to make a big splash.

Aaaw. The image of my parents enjoying their company together and feeling young again was adorable. It wouldn't take much for them to feel like young lovers again though; the passage of time had not worn down their love for each other.

A couple of days before that, we went to see a concert. One of the headlines was that Octavia mare. Her talent, especially for her age, never ceases to amaze us. She performs with such elegance and grace. The way she looks when playing, so focused and poised, it just seems to add to the music.

She reminds me of you, dear. I’m sure she’s around your age and she’s doing so well for herself. I suspect she’s very much enjoying it too. Then again, I don’t think she knows what it’s like to be with a mare like Bon Bon.

That’s just like you, Mom: sugarcoating your desires for me so much, that they’re almost like compliments. That said, my parents had taken a liking to Bons, which really helped when I first introduced her to them.

As always, your bits are enclosed. Spend them wisely--perhaps invest in something? 

Please write back when you get the chance. You must visit sometime soon. We both miss the music you can make on your lyre.

Lots of love, 

Mom & Dad xxxx

Seeing as I had nothing much else to do, I decided to write the letter back now. I got myself some ink, quill and paper and started writing as neatly as I could, a task made far easier with magic.

Mom & Dad

It’s so great to hear that you two had a good time! Bon Bon and I had a lovely time as well and we both managed to surprise each other. In a good way, of course!

Ponyville’s really nice around that time of year. Next year, maybe we could do a location swap? I could show Bon Bon that fountain and you and Dad could soak up the romantic atmosphere Ponyville always has on Hearts and Hooves Day.

I loved my parents dearly, and I cherished the fact that they were still together after so long, but nopony wants to bump into their parents on Hearts and Hooves day when they have their partner with them. 

You know I really admire Octavia, but I don’t think I’m like her at all. The world she lives in is different from mine, and I wouldn’t want fame getting in the way of my relationship with Bon Bon. You and Dad understand that, right?

We’d discussed this many times before and we always came to this: it was a topic that no side could agree with the other on. Even so, each side still accepted the other’s views. Whenever the subject came up, I always casually brushed it aside and my parents never pushed it any further. They’re understanding like that. 

And, as always, I’ll spend my bits wisely. Thanks for sending me them each month. I know I say this a lot but it’s true every time; I’m truly blessed to have parents like you.

I’ll try to arrange a visit to Canterlot sometime, I promise. It just depends on how life goes here. 

Love both of you lots and lots, 

Lyra xxxx

I quickly skimmed through my words, checking if they were any glaring errors. I didn’t see any, so it seemed good to envelope. 

With family business out of the way, I went over to my bedroom and pulled out the black case from under the bed. I unlocked it, and gently lifted my golden lyre out. I gave it a quick look over, deciding that I’d polish it in a couple of days. 

I pulled a song from my memory, closed my eyes and began to make sweet music. 





Dentists.

Why are dentists’ offices such hellish places to be in?

The waiting room of Ponyville’s dentistry was white. And so was the entry room. And the toilets. Probably the basement too, if they had one. I know teeth are white, but this was ridiculous. I was starting to think it was all a trick--they’d blind me at the dentists so I’d have to go to the optician’s. Money for medics all around! Then there’s the fact that you’ve got a pony ramming Celestia knows what into your mouth. 

I sat on a plain brown chair that wasn’t very comfortable and avoided looking at the beaming walls, instead focusing on the beige carpet. There was a small coffee table in the waiting room, a stack of boring magazines on it about trivial things I didn’t really care about. There were also toys for children, many of which looked like they’d been chewed on.

As I looked around, I began to think that Colgate didn’t have a tight schedule like she claimed; more than half the seats were empty, this place wasn’t busy at all. 

Ponyville’s dentristry had multiple dentists, too. Most of them were alright but Colgate was the nicest and she always kept to her schedule very well. It's like she changed time itself whenever she was running late. She wasn’t in charge around here, though I wish she was--she’d probably spruce the place up a bit.

I gazed up at the ticking clock. A few minutes to go. 

I simply sat there, humming a little tune, when an unicorn filly and her father came into the waiting room. 

“Into the bathroom, Tootsie.” The stallion ushered his daughter into the toilets and stood outside, waiting for her. I hid a smirk, knowing their game. The last-minute brush before examination. I’d done it myself many times before. Colgatecould always tell when I did, because my breath smelled fresher than normal. It’s kinda obvious when you think about it. The funny thing is that none of the dentists really care, so it has sort of turned into a joke for us. 

My ears twitched when I heard the sound of a door opening. “Lyra Heartstrings?” Colgate poked her head out of the doorway, looking around the room.

“Here!” I cheerfully announced, trotting over to her. She let me in and closed the door behind us, that is, after looking into the waiting room again. I had no idea why she did that. 

Like the rest of the building, the examination room was terribly bland. A big chair was in the middle, accompanied by a tray that had tools on it. Colgate’s desk sat in the corner, her paperwork all in order. For such a boring job, Colgate really put a lot of effort into it.

I got out my toothbrush and toothpaste from the small saddlebag I had brought with me, giving Colgate a playful grin. A quick brush, then I’d be set for this.

To my surprise, Colgate shook her head. “No Lyra, no brushing this time.”

For a moment, I was worried the rules had changed. Then I grew even more worried when Colgate took off her coat and entered ‘normal mode’.

I tucked my brushing things away, raising an eyebrow at my friend. “Er, what’s this about, Colgate?”

“I just...” She wandered over to the chair, reclining on it. “Wanted to talk.”

“Colgate, we could’ve done that anytime and without you setting me an appointment,” I replied, a hint of annoyance in my voice.

The dentist let out a frustrated groan. “No, I don’t mean that. I mean...” She picked up one of the tooth torture tools from the tray, fiddling with it in her hooves. “I need your advice.”

My curiosity was piqued as I leant on the armrest.“Oh. Fair enough then. Ask away.”

“I... erm... I kinda like ‘like’ Caramel.” 

Oooo! So something was going on between them!

I giggled like a school filly, leaning closer to Colgate and turning her head so she faced me. “Before you say anything else, tell me how your date went with him!”

Her cheeks grew red and the cutest of smiles appeared on her face. “Well, after we left you and Bon Bon, we just walked around for a bit. I know it doesn’t sound like much but... we really got close. I think... I think he might be the one, Lyra.” Her voice suddenly went more desperate, her eyes widening slightly. “And I think he ‘likes’ me too, so I can’t let this opportunity slip by!”

My excitement died at that, replaced by seriousness. I backed away from her a bit and put my hooves on her shoulders. I needed to know one thing before I could approve of this. “Colgate, do you love him or do you love the idea of being with him?”

Colgate blinked in confusion. “What?”

“Just answer the question, please.”

“I... love him, yes.” 

I took my hooves off her and nodded sharply. If anything was going to happen between Colgate and Caramel, it would have to start off on the right hoof. Colgate needed to really love Caramel, and not just use him to escape loneliness, if that was indeed the case. If that happened, the spark between the pair would quickly die out and they’d drift apart. 

So potentially...we could have another new blossoming romance on our hooves! My eagerness built up within me again and I asked Colgate another question: “Did you kiss?”

“He did...but only a little one.” Colgate scratched her left cheek, smiling awkwardly.

“That’s so adorable!” I let out a little squee, jumping on the spot. I then stopped when I remembered what Colgate had really brought me here for. “So, you wanted advice?”

Colgate nodded eagerly. “Yes! I want to know how to...tell him. About me. That I love him.” 

“Just be sincere and dive in.” That was really the only answer I could give her. When I asked Bon Bon out, I was a nervous wreck. But the nerves only served to show how much I did love her. “If you go in and tell him without any acts or something, he’ll know that you love him.”

Colgate didn’t look convinced. “Are you sure?” 

“Very. Don’t try too hard, because then you look desperate and clingy.” 

Colgate looked down, eyebrows furrowed. “So...I literally just go up to him and ask him out?”

“It’s best that you do it in private.” I smirked, waving a hoof around the room. “But don’t do it like this.” 

Colgate giggled, getting off the chair and going to one of the cupboards. “Not for him, no. But I’d do it with you becauuuuse...” Her horn glowed and I heard something rattling. I licked my lips in anticipation of what was to come.

“Mints!” I galloped over to Colgate and snatched the mints as soon as her magical aura had left them, a full tin of them no less. I tossed a mint in my mouth and took a moment to relish the taste. “Mmmm...” I swallowed, then let out a satisfied, minty breath. “So, what do you love about him?”

Colgate rubbed the back of her neck, and muttered a few incoherent mumblings. I twitched my ears, letting her know that she was inaudible. 

“He’s really...nice?” Colgate finally answered.

I gave her a flat look. “Nice? That’s it? C’mon Colgate, you can do better than that.” To my knowledge, Colgate had never been in a relationship before, so I put this down to first time nerves. 

“Well...he’s such a gentlecolt. And he always puts other ponies’ needs before his own, but he’s not a doormat either. Plus...” And she went back to mumbling.

“Plus...?” 

“He’s good.” She let out an embarrassed cough. “Good looking and... yeah.” It sounds superficial, but if you want a special somepony for life, you do have to find them attractive. Especially if you wanted to get more intimate with them.

I shrugged half-heartedly. “I guess so.”

Colgate raised her eyebrows at me. “You don’t think so?” She sounded a little offended, but that’s understandable. 

“Colgate, I’m not really into stallions.” I was when I was young, but what filly doesn’t have fantasies of living in some grand castle with a beautiful prince for a husband? 

Upon glancing around the room, it did occur to me that it was really odd having Colgate bring me here just to talk about Caramel. “Colgate, did we really have to talk about this here?” 

“Not really.” She shrugged, magicking over her coat and putting it on. “But I figured you could use a quick check up before the party.”

I blinked rapidly a couple times. “Party? What party?” 

“You didn’t get an invite?” Colgate gestured to the chair and I went ahead and sat down, mint tin in my hoof. “No worries. I’m sure Pinkie will give you one.”

“Yeah, she will.” Pinkie always set aside some cupcakes with mint frosting for me at her parties...okay, not specifically for me, but nopony else ever got the chance to have one when I was around.

“So, whose birthday is it? Or is this just a ‘party for the sake of partying’ thing?” I asked, resting my head against the back of the chair.

“It’s a surprise party for Cloud Kicker and Blossomforth. Apparently they got promoted.” She levitated a dentist’s mask near her and put it around her neck.

“Huh. Good for them!” I always thought promotions were a double-edged sword. Sure, you got more pay, but your workload increased too. I think that’s the case for most jobs. “When is it?”

“A couple of days. I wouldn’t worry about remembering the specific time--not even I know--because Pinkie will probably drag you to Sugarcube Corner anyway. That’s where the party’s being held.” Colgate’s mask then went up, covering her mouth. 

“Alright.” I left my mouth open, allowing Colgate to poke around my teeth with that tool with the mirror. As in, the only tool in Colgate’s arsenal that didn’t make me squirm. Then she sent a blue beam of magic that covered my teeth. After that, she inclined her horn towards the wall and sent a projection at it. Images of my teeth lined the walls and Colgate started to poke her tool at my teeth, occasionally glancing to the images and muttering some dentist mumbo jumbo. 

The medical field was perfect for those unicorns who lacked magical power but had precision. They dominated the profession because only they could operate with a delicate touch. It was rare to see an earth pony doctor and even rarer to see even a pegasus one. But the ones that existed excelled at their craft.

It didn’t take long for Colgate to finish. She took down her mask and went over to the sink, washing her tool. The projection of my teeth disappeared and I looked at her, to see her verdict. She turned around slowly, a serious look on her face. “Lyra, you’re pregnant.”

I would’ve fallen out of the chair, but the armrests blocked me off. So instead I just kinda flailed about. It was obvious in hindsight that she was joking around, but that didn’t make it an excuse for laughs--there’s a reason Bon Bon and I use protection. 

“Colgate! That isn’t funny!” I cried, probably a little harsher than intended. I ran a hoof through my mane, sighing.

“Oh,” Colgate looked down, sliding the mask over her lips. “Sorry.” 

I got off the chair, walking towards her. “It’s fine, Colgate. Every joker has a misfire.” 

“Yeah.” She coughed, adopting her professional voice. “You’re all clear, Lyra, good job.”

“Great. Who’s your next patient?” 

The dentist went over to her desk, looking through a stack of papers. “Ah, here we go, a filly called Tootsie.”

A sly smirk formed on my lips. “I saw her in the waiting room. Very naughty--she did the last-minute brush.”

“How dare she!” Colgate cried dramatically, walking to her tools. “Looks like I’ll have to use this then.” She raised one of them before my eyes and I shuddered in horror. It was pretty much a mini drill. 

“Well, I’m out of here!” I cantered over to the door, opening it ajar. “See ya later, Colgate!”

“Bye, Lyra,” Colgate replied, putting down her mask and giving me a smile. I closed the door behind me and left the white prison as quickly as I could. Finally, more interesting colors entered my view. Pink, for example.

Actually, pink was all that I could see for a moment, as a blob of it suddenly came out of nowhere, accompanied by a high pitched, “Hi!”

I blinked a couple times, recovering from the ‘Pinkie daze’. “Oh, er, hey, Pinkie.”

She retrieved something from her...coat? I couldn’t tell. At least what I got was clean. It was also what I expected: an invite.

“Hi, Lyra! Here! Here!” She waved the invite in my face, which made it surprisingly hard to get it with my magic. “I’m throwing a super duper party ‘cause Cloud Kicker and Blossomforth got promoted, so they really really deserve it!”

Everypony has a different tactic for dealing with Pinkie. Mine was getting wrapped up in her excitement. “”Oo! That’s great! Good for--”

“Don’t worry! I invited Bon Bon too!”

The only problem with my tactic, was that it was hard to keep up with her and impossible to do so for more than a while. “Yay! Then this party just got more awes--”

“Now I gotta go ‘cause I still gotta hoof out more invites for everypony, so I’ll see you at the party, Lyra, bye!” And before I knew it, she was gone. Looks like I had a party to go to. At some point in the future, anyway. 





Since it was a surprise party, Pinkie got us all crammed into Sugarcube Corner and told us to wait for Cloud Kicker and Blossomforth. The lights were off, we were all waiting and I was really bored. We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes or something, it was ridiculous.

I was positioned behind Bon Bon and a few others, which meant that I was kind of obscured. I wasn’t about to settle for that, no no. I wanted to look like I was making an effort! So I did the natural thing and put my forehooves on Bon Bon’s flank, lifting myself up. 

“Lyra,” Bons said bluntly, not turning her head to see me. “What are you doing.” Aaaw, I loved it when she put her questions like statements. It’s one of her quirks that makes me giggle.

“Just getting a better view. They’ll be here soon, anyway,” I reassured in a hushed voice. Some other ponies were murmuring between themselves, but on the whole, the room was quiet. 

Waiting for the pair to arrive was made much harder by the fact that I could smell all the treats Pinkie had laid out for everyone. I just knew that there would be something minty there. And it would taste amazing...

The door suddenly swung open and the lights immediately switched on, making us all visible to the working duo. 

“SURPRISE!” 

I wasn’t the loudest (with Pinkie around, that’s impossible) but I was definitely enthusiastic, giving the promoted pegasi an excited wave, a huge smile on my face. Cloud gave Blossomforth a grin, who facehoofed, before they both headed into the party. Didn’t she want a party or something? Ah well, who cares? There was food to be eaten now.

I got off my fillyfriend and rushed to the tables, covered in treats. One was covered in muffins and I knew that it would be launched upon by Derpy. I kept my distance from it, like others were doing.

Anyway, I had things I wanted to eat too. I wandered over to another table, scanning it. If anything was green, it’d probably be mint. Green is the universal color for mint, afterall. It must have been my lucky day, because there was a whole plate full of cupcakes, decked in light green icing. 

I let out a squee of delight and brought a cupcake to my mouth, chomping on it. The taste was beyond amazing, so it wasn’t surprising that one led to another, and that led to another...

“You’re going to get fat if you eat too many of them,” Bon Bon said, coming up to me. I blinked, looking down at the plate. There were twelve to start off with and now there were only nine left. I brought a hoof to my mouth, stifling a burp. 

“It’s a party, Bons. And these are just so good.” My gaze slowly drifted from her to the cupcakes. 

“Just pace yourself. I don’t want you getting sick.” She grimaced, shaking her head a little. “Nopony does.” She was right about that. If I ate them all now, I’d have nothing left for later. I broke free from their hypnotic trance, giving Bon Bon my full attention. 

“You want anything?” I asked. 

Bon Bon nodded, pointing to a couple of brightly colored sweets on the table. “Those please.” I focused my magic on her treats, then brought them to her face. She soon snatched them out of the air with her mouth, mumbling something that resembled a thanks.

“No problem. Have you seen any drinks around?” There wasn’t any on this table, so I glanced at the others.

“There’s apple cider,” came a familiar voice. Bons and I turned to see Berry Punch, a mug of cider in hoof.

I gave her a short wave. “Oh hey, Berry, whereabouts is it?” She gestured to the tables on the other end of the room, then drank some of her cider.

Bon Bon gave Berry a welcoming smile, then looked at me. “I wouldn't mind some of that. How about you, Lyra?” 

“Sounds good,” I simply replied. 

“Alright then.” Before I could offer to bring the cider over, Bons was already on her way. “I’ll go get them.” 

I nodded at my fillyfriend, then turned back to Berry. “So, how have things been?”

“Pretty decent. Business is good, so I can’t complain.” A lot of ponies assumed that Berry was just some drunk and while she was sometimes, the truth was that she was a winemaker. She made some of the best wines in Equestria, enough to rival those in Canterlot. She was a mare who knew her limit and had the best hangover cures. 

“So, up for a drinking night anytime soon?” Berry asked. It was a fun little thing me, Berry and a couple others would do. We would play drinking games, get drunk and just have a little fun. These events were hardly frequent though.

“Yeah, we could arrange something sometime,” I answered. To be honest, I wasn’t really a planner because I have so much free time. There’s really not much need. 

“Arrange what?” Bon Bon was back, two mugs of cider in hoof. 

I took of one them away from her with my magic. “Thanks, Bons. Berry and I were just talking about the next drinking night.”

“Oh really? Sounds good, I guess.” She shrugged, taking a sip of cider and licking her lips. “Mm, that’s good. But anyways, depending on the date, I’m not sure if I’ll join you girls or not.”

“We’ll let you know as soon as possible, Bon Bon.” Berry said. She then looked at me with a playful grin. “Want to see who can chug their cider down first?”

I locked eyes with her. “Fine. You’re on.”

Bon Bon giggled, then came to an abrupt stop. “Wait a second.” She came closer and peered into our mugs. “Lyra, drink just a little bit of your cider first.”

That’s my Bons, always the rational one. I took a little sip until the amount of cider we had was about equal. Then, when we were both ready, Bon Bon started the countdown.

“Three... two... one... GO!”

I quickly jerked my head back and poured the cider down my mouth. A part of the liquid lost its mark, trailing down the sides of my lips. I think I may have overestimated the amount of cider left because I nearly ran out of breath. Oh, and I almost choked.

I hung my head low, hacking like a sick mule. Bon Bon was quick to come to my side, putting a leg around me. “Lyra, are you okay?!”

Through my repeated coughing, I managed to splutter, “Yeah... just fine... A-OK.” I honestly didn’t want Bon Bon to squeeze me like some filly with a teddy bear. Although that would’ve be nice in another context. She did know CPR and basic first aid--it was something her parents taught her, knowing it would be helpful. Luckily, it hasn’t seen much use.

When my coughs had died down, Bon Bon passed me a napkin and I wiped my wet mouth. “Thanks, sweetie.” 

Berry did look concerned but her lips soon formed a victorious smile. “Sorry, Lyra. I won!”

Well of course she did, didn’t she?





For an hour or so, Bon Bon and I had mingled with several others, including Carrot Top and Colgate (who was trying to avoid Caramel, bless her). After a while though, it ended up with just the two of us by ourselves, which I was perfectly fine with. We were sitting at one of the few tables that didn’t have food on it, watching the party go on. 

I have to say, I enjoyed the party a lot. It had a nice atmosphere: not too rowdy but happy all the same. Plus, the mints helped a lot too. But I had never expected to talk to the guest of honor herself.

“Hey, you two,” Cloud Kicker greeted us. She then looked at me and I could tell she was just barely holding back a grin. “How’s the flank?”

“Fine! It’s fine,” I blurted out. 

Bon Bon ignored that, thank goddess. “I have to say, you must be feeling pretty proud of yourself right now. Oh! And thank you so much for your help on Hearts and Hooves day!” 

“No problem. It was pretty good training, flying around everywhere,” Cloud Kicker responded. Bon Bon and I exchanged a curious look.

“What do you mean?” Bons inquired. 

The pegasus sighed a little. “It’s a long story.”

I simply shrugged. “Alright, then. Still, it was all worth it. Especially for you.” I pointed a hoof at her. “We know exactly what thank you present we’ll give you.” I grinned devilishly at Cloud Kicker, who soon did the same to me. We were exactly on the same page here.

Bons was a little slower to catch on. “What?” She looked at each of us in turn. “Oh. Oh! Yes, it’ll be something I think you’ll enjoy, Cloud Kicker.”

“Definitely. When were you thinking of ‘thanking me’?” 

“Whenever you want. It’s up to you,” I offered. 

We all had a little arrangement: basically, we would occasionally get together and, well, bang. It began when Bons and I first started dating. Cloud Kicker offered some really good times together and I didn’t want that to go away, but I wasn’t going to cheat on Bons either. So I persuaded her to go through with this idea. She was a little reluctant at first but now, it feels routine. 

These days, there was actually a benefit to our get togethers. My relationship with Bon Bon had gotten to the point where we needed to use protection when we banged, otherwise one of us could’ve ended up pregnant by the way of the magic of love. I didn’t want to be careless, yet at the same time it reduced the fun a little. With Cloud Kicker around though, we didn’t have to worry about unexpected surprises. 

“Sounds good--” Cloud Kicker cut herself off, her focus drifting away from us. We followed her gaz and saw Blossomforth waving her friend over. “I’ll let you two know when I’m available. Don’t worry, you shouldn’t have to wait too long.” She winked at us and trotted over to the white pegasus. 

Well, now I had something fun to look forward to.

After Cloud Kicker left, Bon Bon and I mingled for a bit more. Eventually though, the party began to die down, as every one does. The stars were out as we left Sugarcube Corner and the both of us were a little tired. Bons led the way home and we fell into a companionable silence. 

I always prefer living in her house for two reasons. The first is an obvious one--she lives there. The second is because her house is so much better than mine. Unlike my own, her house has an upstairs and every room is decorated in such a nice way. She has nice furniture, flowers and other things like paintings. 

When we got to the front door, Bon Bon put a hoof on it. Strangely, she didn’t open it just yet. Instead, she let out a quiet sigh.

“Tired, sweetie?” I put a leg round her and gave her a quick peck on the cheek. “No worries. We can just cuddle up in bed together.”

Bons shook her head. “It’s not that.” 

The serious tone of her voice sparked up concern in me. “Then what is it?”

She looked up at me, not sad or angry. She just looked worn out. “Lyra, we need to talk.”

My stomach turned. Those four words never meant anything good. Ever. “Yeah? Uh, what about?” I asked. My voice quivered slightly, but I couldn’t help it.

Bon Bon put a hoof on my chest. “You need to get a job, Lyra.”

Uh-oh. Not this again...

> The Pony Who is a Lazy Bum
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bon Bon had brought up this subject time and time again, but each time she told me to get a job, it was little more than a suggestion. This time was different though; I could feel it.

“Maybe...” I began, yet nothing else came out of my mouth. 

Bons sighed and opened the door, stepping inside the house. I went in with her, pushing the door shut with my hind hoof. She looked down the hallway that led to the kitchen and living room and gazed up the stairs. 

“I’m going to bed, Lyra,” Bon Bon stated, slowly heading upstairs. 

“Alright. I’ll, er, join you in a minute.” I only got a grunt in reply. 

Entering the kitchen, I paused, staring blankly at the wooden floor. Why did I even come in here? The food at the party had filled me up more than enough. I guess I just needed to mull things over. After picking up a jug of orange juice, I went over to the sink and poured myself a glass of over it.

I couldn’t see what Bons’ problem was. I had enough bits to get by and so did she. A lot of ponies would probably call us very lucky, blessed even. 

I drank the orange juice, and put the glass to the side. I let out a little sigh of my own, running a hoof through my mane. I don’t know, maybe she was just tired. I knew I was.

I dragged myself up the stairs, turned at the top and opened the door at the end of the hall. The lights inside the bedroom were dimmed and I could see Bon Bon already lying on the double bed. 

I slipped in and shuffled over to Bons, putting my forelegs around her. She let out a little grunt in response. It seemed that I had to confront her head on about this because I was not prepared to sleep with my back to her.

“What’s the problem, sweetie?” I asked softly, giving her a gentle squeeze.

For a moment, I was afraid she wouldn’t say anything. Eventually she spoke up, sounding definitive, “You need to find work, Lyra.”

“Why? We’re both fine as it is, you know that.” I gave her a quick nuzzle on the cheek. She didn’t move away, but she wasn’t exactly inviting either.

“We might be now, but what about in the future?” She turned around, looking at me with pleading eyes. “We can’t go on like this. Not if we want to settle down.” She poked my chest, stroking it gently. “And I really want to.”

I offered her a small smile. “We will settle down, promise. You’re the mare I want to spend the rest of my life with and I wouldn’t have it any other way.” I gave her a kiss on the lips and to my relief, she returned it. We both had dreams of tying the knot. These things take time though--marriage is a huge commitment. 

“Look, I can just ask my parents for more bits each month,” I offered. I think they would be fine with that, as long as Bons and I were settling down. 

Bon Bon suddenly frowned. “No,” she said snapped, making me jump. “That’s not okay.” 

“Why? They’re my parents.” 

Her frown faded, replaced by a neutral expression. “Exactly. They’re your parents. You can’t leech off of them forever.” I went silent. For a short moment, nothing was said. 

Bons sighed. “For Celestia’s sake Lyra, you’re a full grown mare. Don’t you think it’s time to look after yourself?”

I didn’t want to argue with Bon Bon, but that accusation wasn’t fair at all. “I do look after myself! I’m clean, I’m healthy and I look after my things! I’m getting bits, just by a different way!”

“Calm down, Lyra. I didn’t mean it like that,” she replied. Her voice hadn’t raised even once. 

“Sorry. It’s just--” I cut myself off, opting to hug Bon Bon instead. “No, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay.” She leant forward, giving me a quick peck on the lips. “Look, we should just get some sleep.” Then she turned around, pulling the covers up.

“Yeah... yeah, you’re right. Goodnight, Bons,” I said. Even I could tell that my voice was wavering slightly.

“Goodnight.” 

Then there was silence. My eyes didn’t shut and my stomach felt like a pit of thorns. I hugged Bons more tightly, even though I probably shouldn’t have. I just didn’t want to let her go.

I didn’t know why I felt so bad. I had only raised my voice once and Bon Bon didn’t seem that angry at me. Just... tired. Maybe it was guilt? But if that was the case, then she was right, and I didn’t want to think she was. We were fine. Everything was fine.

Whatever it was, it was preventing me from sleeping. “Bon Bon?” 

“Hm?” she responded, her voice sounding drowsy. 

“You’re not mad at me, right...?” 

Bons rolled around, facing me again with a tired smile on her face. “No... but please, will you at least consider getting a job?”

A part of me felt relieved. The other part... I wasn’t so sure. “Yeah, I’ll think about it.”

“Good. Now, go to sleep,” she whispered softly. 

It was only then that my eyes closed. I felt more secure and more comfortable than I had been, but something still felt off. My mind didn’t linger on it though, as sleep took hold over me sooner than I expected. 





When I woke up, Bon Bon wasn’t next to me.

This was actually standard stuff; Bons had simply gotten up early to set up her stand. I always slept in, snoozing away in the comfort of the bed. It was pretty common for me to wake up past midday.

Oh, a quick warning: never disturb my sleep. It’s not pretty. 

With a big yawn I opened my eyes, my vision a little blurry. I got the sleep out of them and dragged myself out of bed. My stomach cried out for breakfast and I was only too eager to oblige. I stumbled my way down the steps, my body still waking up.

I quickly poured myself some orange juice and made some oats cereal, sitting down at the small table in the center of the kitchen. As I ate, my mind slowly became more alert and I began to dwell on last night.

Was Bons worrying too much, or was I being neglectful? I knew our financial situation was fine and I knew that if we needed a little more, I could always play music for bits in the town square. That isn’t exactly like a job, but it’s still getting money so what’s the difference?

Most of my friends have jobs, heck, even their own small businesses. Even Cherry Berry is the only one who can sell hot air balloon rides here. 

Am I... lazy?

I took a large swig of my orange juice and dispelled that thought. Sure, I didn’t have a job, but I definitely wasn’t a slob. It’s not like I can’t do things with dedication--my skills on the lyre are enough to prove that much. Plus, I did tend to do some of the housework while Bons was running her stand.

After swallowing the last bit of cereal, I smiled. I didn’t need to change. Nothing did. Bon and I were fine as we were. 

I lifted the bowl and cup and headed over to the sink, preparing to wash things up--Bon Bon would definitely appreciate coming home to a clean home. 

Actually, I remembered that in all of last night’s fuss, I had forgotten to brush my teeth. I quickly went upstairs and entered the bathroom, gazing at myself in the mirror above the sink. My mane was a bit scruffy but that was something that could easily be fixed with a brush. Killing two birds with one stone, I brushed my mane as I cleaned my teeth.

Spitting out toothpaste residue, I rinsed my mouth then admired my teeth. White as usual! I went back downstairs, ready to do some housework.





A couple of days had passed and thankfully, the topic of me getting a job hadn’t come up again. When Bons came back home, we had a nice little cuddle on the couch and went to bed like nothing had ever happened. Life was back to normal.

Although that did little to change my current mood. I was just having a lovely walk with Bon Bon when Cherry had to come by and ruin it again. So I had left them to it and was sipping on some soda, watching ponies go from stand to stand in the market.

I was on my own and boredom was beginning to kill me.

Thankfully, my saviour of a fillyfriend broke away from Cherry to walk up to the table where I was sitting. A smile immediately formed on my face.

“Hey again, sweetie,” I greeted her, before drinking more soda.

“Hi, Lyra,” she replied, putting down a leaflet she had held in her forehoof. “Take a look at this.”

I levitated the leaflet and opened it up, quickly skimming it over. It was about some minotaur called Iron Will hosting some assertiveness seminar, or something. On the back of the leaflet were a collection of cheesy rhyming quotes. I wasn’t impressed. 

I put it down, then gave my fillyfriend a questioning look. “Really, Bon Bon? You’re actually interested in this?”

“Well, it was Cherry’s actually, but she said it could be good for a laugh. Want to come with?” She gave me a pleading smile but, as much as it pained me to do so, I was having none of it. The seminar looked lame and Cherry was even lamer.

“I’ll pass. You two go ahead--you’ll probably find it a lot of fun.” I hoofed the leaflet back to her and she gave me a slightly disappointed look.

“Alright, I’ll see you later--” She froze, blinking once. “Actually, I might be a while. After this, Cherry and I are going to do some showpony business.” I raised an eyebrow at that. Bon Bon could’ve pulled off that line of work, but Cherry? In your dreams.

“And what does that involve...?” I asked, waving a hoof around. 

Bons bit her lip, looking away. “Uh, hauling away... um... garbage.” That last word was barely audible, but I got the gist of it. 

So Cherry had managed to get Bons to do garbage duty, huh? That ticked me off royally--she’s better than that! Cherry probably guilted her in it, the manipulative cow. I should’ve given her a piece of my mind right then and there...

But that probably would’ve hurt Bons, and I wasn’t about to risk that, no way. 

I exhaled through my nose, trying to keep a smile on my face. “Alright then, Bons. Don’t take too long!”

Bon Bon rolled her eyes. “Believe me, I’ll try not to.” She then gave me a goodbye nuzzle and wandered back over to Cherry.

I sighed, finishing off my soda. Maybe the sugar it had would give me a bit of a buzz to lighten up my mood, although I doubted that. I have suffered from sugar rushes before, but it took me a lot to get to that state. 

I got up, threw the cup into a bin, and began my quest to find something to do. I discovered pretty quickly that most ponies were going to this seminar thing, which left me with nothing to do. 

And then... the weirdest thing happened.

I was simply minding my own business when I accidently bumped into somepony. Only it wasn’t a pony at all.

It was a goat.

I swear that out of all the creatures that live in Equestria, goats are both the strangest and creepiest. 

“Oh, um, sorry about that. I guess I should be more careful! Heh...” It’s really hard to apologize to somepony when they freak you out. Seriously, the goat was staring at me but its eyes were going in two completely different directions. And it wasn’t like Derpy where it was endearing, no, this was... unsettling.

“Baaah!” Did I mention that the goat had a tie? Who gives a goat a tie?

I shuffled about uncomfortably. The goat just stayed still, like a piece of iron or something. “Er...can I help you?”

“Baaah!”

An awkward laugh escaped from me. “Haha... I’m sorry but... I don’t speak goat.”

“Baaah!” Ack. Goats sound so horrible. It’s no wonder no goat singers exist. 

At this point, I decided to draw back, slowly stepping away. “Well... er... nice talking to you?”

It didn’t get the message. Sweet Celestia, it did not get the message. Instead, it got closer to me. My skin was practically crawling at this point. Wait... did it give me fleas? It better not have. 

Eugh... now I could smell it. It smelled like wet Diamond Dog. Actually, probably worse than that. I backed off a little to avoid the foul scent. “I kinda gotta go do... something...” Yeah, my brain was just not working with me at that point.

I circled around the goat, not taking my eyes off it. He (I think it was a he--it wasn’t wearing any lipstick or a bow) turned, gazing at my every step. I slowly backed away, but it kept watching. In the end, I decided to hide behind some trash cans until it went away.

Goats--they may look stupid, but they’re evil masterminds, I swear it.

The goat left within a couple of minutes and I was back to wandering around. Hours must have passed and boredom grew on me like mould on a piece of bread (now that’s a lovely image). I found myself wandering back to the market after what must have been a couple of hours. Maybe more. I saw Carrot Top at her stand, selling all her carroty goods. 

“Hey, Carrot Top,” I called out, approaching the mare. “Have you been here for a while?” If she had been, then I would feel like such an idiot. 

“Nope. Only got set up a few minutes ago--a lot of ponies weren’t around because of this... Iron Will thing?” She bent down behind the stand and brought out a carrot cake, displaying it for all to see.

“Oh, yeah, that,” I replied, shrugging. “I didn’t go--sounded lame--but Bons did.” 

Carrot Top was going to retrieve something else but suddenly paused, blinking once. “Speaking of, you better find her right away.” I looked at her suspiciously. “Apparently somepony dumped a whole load of garbage on her and Cherry Berry.”

Half of me wanted to laugh and the other wanted me to grind my teeth in anger. So I kept up a neutral appearance. “Okay... where were they heading?”

Carrot Top pointed past me. “Over by the bridge. They’re probably gone by now, but it’s as good a start as any.”

I nodded at her and began to trot off. “Right. Thanks, Carrot Top, I’ll see you later.” She waved me off and I left, hunting for my fillyfriend. 

Covered in garbage... eugh. That would make anypony smell ten times worse than a goat. Bons was probably really upset too... nothing a cuddle and a kiss can’t fix. … after a good wash, of course. Hm... we hadn’t shared the bath for a while...

Along the way, I happened to bump into Cloud Kicker and Blossomforth. Cloudy looked fine but Blossom... ohohoho, Blossom. It seemed like they had finally did it and from the looks of it, they had released a lot of tension. 

I grinned, approaching Kicky and the bruised Blossom. “So you two finally went and did it, huh? And with gusto! You shoulda gone easy on her, Cloud Kicker. She’s a delicate Blossom,” I said, with a giggle. I swear, being around Cloud Kicker increased my wit.

“You don’t understand, Lyra,” Cloudy replied. For a moment, I thought I had made a pretty awkward mistake. But she continued, “I wanted to, but she wouldn’t let me. Every time I started slowing down a bit, she screamed at me to go faster and harder.”

The images that entered my head were disturbed by the sound of a smack. It seemed that Blossom wasn’t having any of it. “Ow! That hurt. I think I need a kiss to make it all better,” Kicky pleaded, obviously hamming it up.

“Do you want me to hit you for real?” Geeze, Blossom, calm the hay down. Cloud Kicker’s only being herself.

“Not until we work out a safe-word.” Case in point. 

I couldn’t help but laugh at the pair’s antics. I was pretty sure that nothing had actually gone on between them but... who knows? Regardless, I had my own fun to get to. 

“Well, I’ll let you two go back to whatever the hay it is you’re doing; Bon Bon’s waiting for me,” I announced, then frowned. “She was getting rid of some garbage when somepony went and dumped the whole cart right on top of her! Can you believe it?” I shook my head in disbelief, gave them a wave and set off on my way.

It wasn’t long before I found Cherry and Bons--bless her, she looked so distraught. Both of them were covered in garbage, reluctantly trying to get scraps off of them. To make it even worse, they had attracted flies.

“What the hay happened?!” I called out as I trotted towards them.

Bon Bon gave me a relieved smile. “Hi, Lyra. The strangest thing happen--”

“Fluttershy just came marching along and decided that it would be a great idea to dump the garbage we were hauling all over us!” Cherry cried, letting out a frustrated groan. I held back a laugh, but something she said didn’t seem to fit.

“Fluttershy? No, you must have mistaken her for someone else, Cherry.” She gave me a glare and opened her mouth to come back with some retort--probably the guilt trip card.

“No no, it was her!” Bon Bon exclaimed, looking as shocked and surprised as I was right now. “She didn’t seem like herself--”

“She could’ve flown, the mule!” Another scream from Cherry. “And now my mane is ruined!” I should’ve given Cherry a slap right there and then and told her to mare up, but I held back my hooves. 

“Well, looks like you need a wash, Bons,” I said, grinning slyly at my fillyfriend. I’d make sure she’d get something out of this. 

“But what about me?!” Cherry wailed.

Wait. What.

“I don’t think it would be fair to leave poor Cherry like this, Lyra.” Bon Bon. Stop. Stop this madness right now.

“You two can’t share a bath, sillies!” I giggled, but inside I was screaming obscenities. Like feathering. And bucks. Lots of bucks.

“Well, duh, you silly filly!” Cherry said. Might I add that she was very patronising? “We can just grab some wash tubs and do it outside!” 

Bon Bon nodded in agreement. Damnation. “That sounds like a great idea! We’ll both get clean and it’ll be quick with Lyra’s help.”

The two of them turned and looked expectantly at me.

Celestia strike me now.





There I was, scrubbing two mares in Bon Bon’s backyard. Oh such joy.

I had managed to acquire separate tubs for the two, but that didn’t stop them from splashing each other like fillies. Seriously? They were really doing this? I sighed quietly, scrubbing Bons’ back with a brush. 

This was meant to be a fun little time with my fillyfriend where we would do the splashing, not Cherry the stupid little, bucking bitc--

“Ow, Lyra! Be gentle!” cried Bons. I blinked, looking at the floating brush. I was pressing it a bit hard. 

“Sorry, hun. Just trying to get every little bit out,” I replied, continuing to scrub her. Just focus on your fillyfriend, Lyra. Nothing else. Only her.

“Maybe I would do a better job.”

Oh yeah. Cherry never shuts the hay up.

“Look, you asked me to do this so I’m doing it,” I affirmed, sending a stern glance towards Cherry.

“Fine, fine.” Cherry rolled her eyes. “But you better be careful when you wash me.” 

Hm... maybe if I told Bon Bon to get dry inside the house, then I could mess around with Cherry for a bit (not in that sense, ack). Yes... I was liking this idea. A lot.

Let’s do it.

I scrubbed Bon Bon with increased vigor, cleaning her up in no time. Once I gave her the all clear, she stepped out of the tub, covered in bubbles from the soapy mixture.

“Bons, what do you say you get dry inside, then wait for Cherry and I? We can all have some tea and biscuits!” I suggested. That excuse was foolproof--some biscuits sounded really good right now, too.

“Sure, sounds good!” Bon Bon agreed, beginning to go inside.

And then the heavens opened up as Celestia came flying down, proclaiming that I, Lyra Heartstrings, had permission to prank Cherry Berry! 

That’s what it felt like, anyway.

Cherry barely had time to protest before Bons was inside. I grinned mischievously as Berry turned to glare at me.

“It seems that the tables have turned,” I said, a few laughs escaping from me.

Cherry raised a skeptical eyebrow. “Oh, really? What can you possibly do to me?”

I could’ve done many things, Cherry--like put food in your mane and get parasprites to come--but I don’t think the town would agree with such ideas. Instead, I let out a triumphant laugh as I levitated the other tub and poured its contents all over her. “That!”

A torrent of water fell all over Cherry and better yet, it was dirty from Bons’ bath. My enemy fell silent. Haha! I did it! Rainbow Dash, eat your heart out--Lyra Heartstrings is the master pranker here.

“Oh no, you got me wet when I was already soaking. Oh noooo. Spare meeeee,” Cherry said, no effort put into her voice. She lazily shrugged. I looked at her and realized that I hadn’t achieved anything at all...

Well buck.

“You, on the other hoof, are not.” She locked eyes with me, looking very smug. Oh no. Nononononononono! 

“Don’t you dare--” I cut myself off; words weren’t gonna do anything. I closed my eyes and focused magic into the tip of my horn, picturing Bons’ kitchen. I grinned, feeling the magical energy build up...

“Well, I’m out of here!” I proclaimed, opening my eyes to give Cherry a cocky wink. 

And then I didn’t move. 

Yeah... turns out I don’t know any teleportation spells. I’m not really the most magically adept unicorn out there. 

My magic wasn’t going anywhere either, so I ended up with a huge migraine. Cherry took advantage of my momentary weakness, grabbing me. Before I could even yell, I was drenched in water, dazed and confused. I was cold, my head felt like it had been split open and my eyes were stinging. Cherry’s mocking laughter only made things worse.

I accepted my fate, staying put uselessly in the tub. The laughter began to die down as Bon Bon rushed outside. 

“Lyra, what happened?!” she asked. I simply groaned.

“The silly filly had a little accident and fell in!” Cherry answered for me. Sure, it was demeaning, but my brain was all over the place, so I was willing to go with the excuse Cherry was giving.

“Oh dear, let’s get you inside then,” Bons said soothingly. The two helped me onto her back and I wasn’t about to complain. “Will you be alright by yourself, Cherry?”

“Yeah, I’m good,” Cherry replied, beginning to scrub herself.

My fillyfriend nodded and began to take me inside. I gladly welcomed the rush of warmth that hit me as we got in, although my head was still killing me. Bons got a towel and put it on the sofa. She then gently put me down, wrapping the towel around me so I felt all snug. She sat down beside me, beginning to get me dry.

“So what happened?” 

My ears twitched. I had honestly expected her to believe Cherry’s excuse one hundred percent. Although, in hindsight, an ‘accident’ can mean many things.

“I, uh, slipped and managed to hit my head on the side of the tub...” I guilty for lying to her. It didn’t feel as bad as my feathering headache, though.

Bons immediately took to searching through my mane. “Let’s check that you don’t have any trauma then...” I smiled and slowly became relaxed. It felt nice; she was very gentle, like usual. Even my headache was starting to go away. 

“Nope, you’re fine.” Bons gave me a quick peck on the cheek. “Goodie.”

“How about you? Did you enjoy your wash?” 

“Yeah, I feel all fresh now. Thanks, dear.” She gave me another kiss, this time on the lips. “Maybe you should get some rest--you seem pretty tired.” 

“After a day of being nothing but bored and hiding from goats, you wouldn’t be. But yeah... a nap does sounds nice.” I rubbed my eyes, still stinging slightly. 

Bons tilted her head and raised an eyebrow. “Hiding from goats...?”

“Yep,” I replied, sighing. 

“Hm, I didn’t think any were in town.” Bons shrugged. “I thought they were all with that Iron Will guy.” 

I rolled my eyes, grumbling, “Maybe one got lost...” I suddenly perked up, asking, “How was that thing, anyway?”

“Silly. Very silly.” Bon Bon giggled delightfully. “He made all these rhymes, like this.” She cleared her throat, and boomed in a very rough voice, “When somepony tries to block, show them you rock!” Her impersonation was probably very accurate--Bons was great at doing voices.

I felt a pang of regret for missing the whole thing. “It was a good laugh, then?”

“Yeah. You’re an idiot for not coming,” Bons joked, grinning mischievously. She then brought the towel over my head, covering my eyes, and proceeded to ruffle my mane furiously, laughing all the way.

“Stop! Stop it!” I cried, but it was no use--I was laughing too hard to put up a good resistance. “Right, that’s it: when somepony messes your mane, give them some pain!” 

I was blinded, but I knew where my lovely assailant was. I outstretched my forelegs forward and tickled Bons’ chest. Good thing my head was still aching slightly; my hand spell would have been overkill here. She fell onto her back on the floor, giggling madly. 

Now I had the upper hoof. I pounced upon her and unleashed the full might of tickling. Bon Bon was laughing far too hard to resist. 

“No, Lyra--hahaha--mercy! Mercy!” she pleaded. 

“Hehe, okay then.” I stopped and brought my face closer to hers so that our muzzles touched. We locked eyes. “Love you,” I whispered. And then we kissed passionately. We caressed our bodies, running our hooves down each other. The fact that I was still wet only made it more appealing...

“And the crowd cheers--Lyra Heartstrings has hit first base!!”

Damn you, Cherry. Damn you to Tartarus. 

No, actually, buck you and your stupid fat balloon! I mean, who the hay would use that when we have carriages and pegasi?! Wait, I get why you have a hot air balloon; you’re perfect for eachother, being full of hot air! 

Geeze... if I actually said those things to her face, she would need to be treated for third degree burns. 

Bon Bon’s face went red and I rolled off her, crawling back onto the couch. She got up, smiling sheepishly and went towards Cherry. 

“Right, um, tea?” Bons asked, her voice a little shaky.

Cherry let out a little laugh, patting my fillyfriend on the back. “If you don’t mind.”

“It’s fine, Cherry. I could use some myself.” Bon Bon turned around to look at me. “How about you, sweetie?”

I laid my head on the sofa, giving Bons a tired smile. “I think I’ll have a nap.” And no, it wasn’t just to avoid Cherry... 

Okay, it was the main reason, but I was kind of tired anyway. 

Bons nodded at me. “Alright then, dear. Have a nice rest.” I closed my eyes and heard the two walk away. It was a little hard getting to sleep with Cherry’s constant chattering in the background, but I managed.





I have to say, naps are a pretty good thing. Once I woke up again, I felt a little groggy, but on the whole better than I did prior. And Cherry had finally gone away; Icouldn’t hear her. 

I stretched my limbs and let out a content sigh. Bons must have heard me wake up because she was in the room a couple of seconds later.

“Sleep well?” she asked, sitting down next to me.

“Yep.” I snuggled up next to her, nuzzling her neck. “Did Cherry leave?”

“Yeah,” she replied in a neutral tone. For a couple of minutes, we sat together in  companionable silence. It was pretty nice.

“Lyra,” Bons finally spoke up.

My ears twitched. “Yeah, sweetie?”

She let out a little sigh before answering. “I’m going to have to put my hoof down.”

My heart skipped a beat, and not in a good way. “Concerning...?” I waved a hoof in the air. 

“The Iron Will thing was funny and I don’t think I’ll be taking advice from that minotaur anytime soon but... it made me realize something.” She looked down at me, not looking angry at all. In fact, I think she was a little scared. “I’ve been too soft on you, dear.” She paused briefly. “You’re getting a job.” That last sentence sounded particularly final.

I shook my head. “But I don’t need--”

“Yes you do, Lyra!” Bon Bon snapped. I flinched back and so did she, looking a little regretful. I guess she was unsure of how to go about this, yet for a brief second she became terrifying--I didn’t want her mad, I wanted her happy.

Bons sighed, running a hoof through her mane. “Sorry, it’s just that... are you thinking about the future--our future--at all?”

“Of course I am!” I replied, trying to keep my cool. “How can you even think that I’m not?”

“Because your ‘system’ isn’t going to work in the long run.” She gently took hold of my hoof, caressing it gently. “I want to settle down with you and make something for ourselves together.” 

I looked from our hooves, back to my fillyfriend. “Like what?”

“Anything! Maybe save up for some expensive vacation, or buy something that we’ve both wanted for so long, or maybe even setting up a shop together.” That last part made me feel a little guilty. Bons worked so hard at her stand, but at the end of the day, she was always in the shadow of Sugarcube corner. 

“We can still do that, sweetie. But I don’t need a job to do that, really.” If I sounded a little unsure, it was because I was. Bon Bon had made good points, but I had mine--I still didn’t see a major need for change. 

And... I don’t know... I guess I was a little nervous about entering the world of work.

Bon Bon drew back her hooves, throwing her forelegs up in the air and letting out a frustrated groan. “You don’t get it, do you?! To do those things, we need bits and the only way you’re getting them is by finding work!”

My ears flattened and I fell back a little. Bons’ anger was very unsettling--she’s normally so calm. “But--”

“No ‘buts’ anymore! You need to wake up and face facts! You’re too old to still have your parents provide for you--they’re not going to support you forever!” Bons shouted, effectively silencing me. I didn’t want to speak after that. I looked down at the floor.

Sure, still getting bits from my parents might seem weird, but that’s because most ponies work for themselves. I’m totally fine with that since it’s how most of the world works--but I don’t fit into the grand scheme of things like that. Furthermore, Bons didn’t know if they would keep supplying me or not, but I knew them better than she ever would. 

Still... she seemed to get really passionate over this. Maybe she did have a point?

“Bons, I... it’s just that... I...” The words kept dying in my mouth and my mind was a blur. I ran a hoof through my mane, exhaling deeply. I could’ve sworn I was shaking, just a little.

I could hear Bon Bon let out a little sigh. “I’m sorry, dear... it’s just that... do you really want us to be a couple that breaks up over money troubles?”

That sent a shock through my system the likes that I haven’t experienced before in a long time. I quickly looked back at my fillyfriend, shuffling closer. “No! No, I don’t want that! I want us to be happy together!”

Bon Bon was silent for a few seconds, looking into my eyes. I held my breath. 

“Then you know what to do.” 

Then she left me. No kisses, no hugs... not even a goodbye. I watched her go and with each step she took, the more guilt, dread and fear I felt well up inside me.

She had given me an ultimatum, and I had no choice other than to accept it.


> The Pony With the Magic Hands
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I slept alone that night. It was the first time I had ever done that since Bons and I had become a couple, at least, on such tense terms.  I didn’t sleep well; I felt too lonely.

I wasn’t surprised that when I woke up, Bon Bon was gone. I knew that she would be working at her stand but... for some reason, I felt like a part of me had been torn away. I didn’t waste any time in getting ready and meeting Colgate at Berry’s house--I needed a drink in me. And no, I wasn’t going to drink my problems away; Berry wouldn’t allow it. It’s just that a little bit of drink in the system helps  you to relax. 

The three of us were reclining around Berry’s small coffee table in the center of her living room. A single bottle of pinot noir was being shared between us. 

“Looks like you have to actually get off your flank and do something,” Berry remarked after I had the told the pair about my dilemma.

I snorted in annoyance. “Yeah, I think I’ve figured that out by now.” I took a swig from my glass, almost drinking every drop of wine. 

Berry gave me a warning look. “Slow down, Lyra. That’s your second glass nearly down and it’s only the middle of the day.”

“Stop worrying about it. I said I wasn’t going to drink myself to death today,” I replied, putting the glass on the table. I wasn’t going to touch it for a while now. Nope.

My vintner friend rolled her eyes. “Whatever. That’s what they all say.”

“Then maybe you shouldn’t have gotten out the bottle in the first place?” Colgate interjected. 

Berry just leant back and shrugged. “If I didn’t, Lyra would find another source anyway.” 

“Can you stop assuming I’m going to become an alcoholic? It’s not the end of the world for me, just a little hiccup.” I nodded at the pair, confirming my statement. As soon as Bons sees that I’m looking for work, she’ll lighten up and everything will be fine.

“Yeah, but it could turn into something more,” Colgate said, a hint of worry in her face.

I felt my hooves reach for the glass. “Maybe...” 

“Colgate’s right and you know she is,” Berry said decisively, drinking the rest of the wine in her glass and licking her lips afterwards. 

“I don’t know... Bon Bon isn’t petty enough to break up over one thing,” I reasoned She was a pretty reasonable mare, which was why her assertiveness last night was so unsettling. 

“Doesn’t matter if it’s just one thing, Lyra. If it’s important to her, then you should go ahead and find a job,” Colgate replied, taking a careful sip of her wine. I suppose she had a point...

A small smirk formed on Berry’s face. “Yeah. Committing adultery is just one thing too, but it’s probably the worst thing you could do in a relationship.” 

Colgate ignored Berry’s ‘joke’. “You could easily work as a cleaner at the Dentist’s.”

Bless her. She was trying, but that was the worst idea ever. I’d probably have to wear sunglasses all the time I worked there. “I don’t think so, Colgate. No offense, but I really don’t like that place.” 

“Yeah, seriously, how can you even work there?” Berry questioned. “It’s whiter than Rarity’s plot.” Both Colgate and I snickered at that. 

The dentist shook her head. “You get used to it. Besides, it was only a suggestion.”

I gave her a little smile. “Thanks for the offer Colgate, but I can’t see myself working there, sorry.”

“It’s fine.” Colgate took a quick sip of her wine. “So that’s one job off the list. Hmm... how about--”

A high pitched voice then came out of nowhere. “Berry’s got the adult drinks again!” exclaimed Berry. Not Punch. Pinch. 

The pink filly trotted excitedly into the room, seemingly having come from the stairs in the hallway. She ignored me and Colgate, opting to hug Berry. 

“Wait up, Pinchy!” came another adorable voice, followed by another little filly running into the room at a pretty fast speed and joining her older sister. This filly, Piña Colada, was a lighter pink than her other siblings. 

So you’ve got three sisters: Berry Punch, Berry Pinch and Piña Colada. The reason for their similar names (at least in the Berrys’ case) was obvious. Hm. Now that I think of it, why does Piña have such a different name? Either she was adopted or it was something else--Berry never discussed it with me at length.

Berry gestured at the bottle and Colgate quickly performed a spell to make it disappear, either by invisibility or teleportation. Berry--forget it, I’m calling her Punchy for now--mouthed her a thanks and attended to her sisters.

“Hey girls. What are ya doing down here?” Punchy asked them, putting a foreleg around the two and hugging them. The bond between these three was very strong, and it would be, given that Pinchy and Piña pretty much saved their older sister from a life of alcoholism. Punchy wasn’t that close to her parents (for reasons she’d never tell me), but she was very attached to her siblings and never drank around them.

“Pinchy can do something with her tongue and it’s really yucky!” Piña pointed a hoof at Pinchy, who sat there grinning.

“Yeah, watch this!” The darker filly then stuck her tongue her and reached it upwards right into her nose. I can’t lie--I was impressed.

“Wow, that’s pretty cool, Pinchy. But watch this.” Punchy put a hoof on her stomach and pressed it lightly. A few seconds later, she let out a powerful burp that could give most stallions a run for their money. The fillies were both giggling, but had different opinions on Punchy’s feat. Colgate and I exchanged amused glances.

Pinchy looked up at her older sister, beaming. “That was so awesome!” 

Piña on the other hoof, wasn’t looking up at Punchy, but was snuggling into her. “Ew! Gross! You’re so silly, Punchy!” 

“Yeah, I am, but that’s what big sisters are like.” The three shared a warm embrace, Punchy stroking her little sisters’ manes. “But I’m kinda chilling with my friends here, so you think you two can play in the garden for a little while?”

The two fillies nodded and chirped in unison, “Okay, Punchy!” before galloping out of the room. The bottle reappeared a couple of seconds later.

“How long do you have them for?” Colgate asked, refilling her glass only slightly.

“A couple of days. So no drinking nights in that time, sorry.” Colgate and I nodded in response, myself hiding my disappointment. Getting drunk with Berry was always great, even if, being a unicorn, I wasn’t allowed to get utterly smashed. Kind of. Look, it depends on the unicorn, okay? 

“Some time after they’re gone, then?” I asked. 

Punchy shrugged. “Yeah, sure.” She then pointed a hoof accusingly at me. “But only if you bring Bon Bon.”

“Well, obvious--” The gears in my head clicked. “Hey! I’m not going to become a stupid drunk, okay?!” 

I was beginning to regret my decision in coming here. Luckily, Colgate was level-headed as usual. “She’s just worried about you... in her own way.” Berry scoffed at that. “Calm down, Lyra.”

She was right, I did need to calm down. Good thing I had my drink at the ready. I took a big swig, wiping my mouth afterwards. “Yeah, sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Berry said. Then she took my glass from me, much to my annoyance.“But that’s all you’re having today.”

“Berry!” I protested. Honestly, I could’ve handled one or maybe even two more. 

“Lyra, she is right, you know,” Colgate said calmly. “If you want to get drunk, the middle of the day is not the time to do it.”

I crossed my forelegs over my chest, pouting. “Fine. But that doesn’t mean I was planning to get drunk now!”

“Moving on... you should do something to do with music. You’re brilliant at it,” Colgate offered. I gestured for her to continue, a little unsure. “You could teach kids how to play the lyre.”

I weighed my options. Or, rather, option. It’s not like I had any other ideas myself. For the time being, that is. “That idea does have potential. How would I start?”

“You’ve got the lyre part down,” Berry stated. 

I snorted, then gave her a fake grin, tilting my head a little. “You don’t say?” Berry just laughed. 

“Why not do a talk at the school?” Colgate suggested. Punchy gave a grunt of approval, pouring herself another drink.

I grinned at the blue unicorn. “You’re making up for that terrible dentist idea, Colly. So, I’ll just ask Cheerilee then?”

“Nah, don’t do a talk there,” Berry groaned. “A tiny building packed full of excitable, young kids? You’ll go mad.”

“Aren’t your sisters excitable, young kids?” I questioned, raising an eyebrow.

“They’re my sisters. There’s a difference,” Berry told me firmly, sipping some of her wine afterwards.

Not really, Berry. Granted, I was an only child, so maybe her argument had some weight to it. “Right...” I turned to Colgate. “So, where were you suggesting? I’m not going to Canterlot.”

“The high school, you dumb flank,” Colgate replied, bonking me lightly on the head. 

“Oh yeah... Ponyville has one of those.” I’ve never really had to go there before or talk about it, so why the hay would I know it exists?

“Yep. She’s drunk too much.” Was Berry intentionally trying to annoy me? She was really good at it.

“The hay is your problem?!” I may have slammed a hoof on the table in my annoyance. 

“Whoa, calm down, Minty. I’m only teasing.” Berry offered me a small smile. “So you’re going to do this talk? That’s cool. Maybe you could become a private tutor.”

“Private tutor, eh?” I stroked my chin, thinking it over. It did seem like a pretty good job to have. I mean, you pretty much set your own hours, right? And you work for yourself! “Girls, I think you may have just given me a career path.” I reached for my glass... but Berry had taken it already. “Right, so, how do I start?”

“Send a letter to the headmaster or somepony else, then work from there. It really shouldn’t take long,” Colgate answered.

I shrugged. “Doesn’t sound too hard.”

“Yeah, but you have to make sure your talk is actually good. What were you thinking of presenting?” Berry raised a good point. Music is a broad subject and I needed to narrow down what I would talk about. 

Hm... maybe my college days weren’t a complete waste after all. Not that they were to begin with, of course, but... you know.

“Music history! There we go. I’ll decide on the era later.” So that was that sorted. I have to admit, it felt kind of good knowing that I had something to work towards now. Still, I knew that it might not turn out quite like I suspected.

Colgate gave me a proud smile. “Well, now you’ve got something to tell Bon Bon.” 

“Mhm-hm! I’ll tell her after work! She’ll come home after a long, tiring day and I’ll be like: ‘Hey, Bons, guess what I’m doing?’ And then I’ll tell her, she’ll be thrilled and then we might bang to celebrate!” The awkward cough from Colgate and Berry’s snickering told me that I might have gone a little too far with that. “Sorry, heh,” I apologised, smiling sheepishly.

Berry shrugged lazily. “I’d say you’ve drunk too much, but you tend to be that tactless anyway.” I flared my nostrils, but I kept quiet. Berry was a great friend, but sometimes her snarkiness was too much. “Before you ask--no, we’re not having another round to celebrate.”

Oh come on! “Shut up, you,” I told her, somewhat halfway between actually joking and being serious. 

“Love you too, Lyra.” She blew me a cheeky kiss, winking at me.  Sometimes, you couldn’t win with Berry. For me, that was most of the time. 

I simply rolled my eyes. “Whatever.” With a sudden burst of energy, I slammed my forehooves on the table and stood up. Colgate jumped and Berry tried not to, but she definitely did, I swear it. “Right! Time to get a move on! C’mon, Colgate.” Colgate could be trusted to help me with this; she was always reliable and a much better worker than myself.

Berry raised a hoof, looking at me skeptically. “Hold on a second. Why should she help you with your problem?”

“Because she’s my friend?” Good friends do help each other with their problems. That’s why they’re  good.

Berry gestured to Colgate with a frown.  For her part, Colgate just sat there, looking a little awkward. “You haven’t even asked her.”

She had a point there. My ears flattened as guilt seeped into me. I slumped back down and looked at Colgate apologetically. “Sorry... I just got a little carried away.”  I mean, there it was: a solution to my current dilemma. Of course I wanted it done with as soon as possible!

Colgate held my hoof, smiling. “No need to apologize, Lyra. You’re new at this and I--we,” She glanced over at Berry, “wouldn’t be very good friends if we didn’t help you along.”

I smiled at the two of them. They were both right, really. I could get along, with some help, but for now, it was time to just relax with two good friends of mine. 

“One more round?” I asked, giving Berry a pleading look.

She frowned, looking slightly disappointed of me. “Lyra...”

I laughed awkwardly and hastily added, “Of orange juice? Please?”





Once I had narrowed down what I would even talk about at the school, and sent a letter there,  Colgate and I ventured to the library and got a stack of books, as well as some spare ink, quills and parchment. Now came the taxing part.

We were both at my house, sitting on my bed. I was lying on my back, forehooves propping my head up and one of my hindlegs hanging over the other. Above me was a book, floating above me in a magical aura. To my side were other books and papers, all messily strewn about.

Colgate was the polar opposite. She was on her front, forehooves resting on a book in front of her, and research materials stacked neatly beside her. She really had a knack for detail, which was just as well, seeing as she is a dentist and all.

“This is all coming back to me now,” I muttered, turning a page.

Colgate made a curious noise. “It is?” 

“Yeah. I covered all this at college. Completed most of it before I dropped out...” I thought I was pretty qualified to do this. I was only talking at a high school and all the stuff they do is dumbed down a bit anyway.

“Uh-huh,” Colgate replied. I took my eyes off the book and glanced at her. She was looking at her book, but her eyes weren’t focused on the words. I know that look. It’s a thinking one.

If this research was beyond her scope, then I wasn’t going to let her fry her own brain for nothing. “Is this too complicated for you?” 

“No... not that.” Colgate kept a hoof on her book and looked to me. “Why did you drop out?”

My book fluttered in the air a little and, as if almost instinctively, I curled up a little. “It was one of those crazy, thoughtless decisions you make when you’re young.” I never gave anypony a straight answer to that question. But did it even matter? What’s done is done.

Colgate wiggled her lips a little. “Why didn’t you go back?” 

“You don’t just go back after having a fresh start, Colgate. What’s the point?” Seriously, if anypony did that, then they would have wasted two chances instead of just one. 

“Well... nevermind.” Colgate went back to reading.

I didn’t though. Something was nagging me. “Colgate? Why are you even helping me?”

She looked at me, confused and a little offended. “Because I want to?”

I shrugged. That was all well and good, but... “You’re not gaining anything from this, though. Don’t you find this boring?”

It was Colgate’s turn to shrug now. “Not really. It’s kind of interesting to be honest. And besides, wouldn’t you rather have company?”

That was some logic that I couldn’t argue with. “Yeah... thanks, Colgate.” I offered her a smile, a gesture which she returned. “So, how’s Caramel?”

“He’s... good, I guess.” She rubbed her foreleg. “I haven’t seen him much lately. Haven’t asked him the question either.”

I rolled over on the bed, getting a bit closer to her. “I think you should spend more time with him. As friends, of course. You need to know whether this is actual love, or just some silly filly crush.” There is a difference, and trust me, you need to know it. Crushes can turn into true love, yes, but more often than not they fall to pieces.

Love’s thorns are something you don’t want to get pricked by.

“Makes sense, I guess.” Colgate sighed, looking up. “Sometimes I just wonder...”

“Wonder what?” 

She stuttered a few times before coming out with something coherent. “It’s just--there is somepony out there for me, right? I’m not... ugly or anything bad, am I?” 

“You? Bad?” I put a foreleg around her, laughing quietly. “With your clean teeth and fresh breath,  you’re probably the best kisser in all of Ponyville!”

She smiled slightly, but it quickly disappeared. “You never hear of dentists getting the pony of their dreams in stories, do you?”

I snorted, frowning slightly. “Hold up. A: Most love stories are complete rubbish.” Fifty Shades of Neigh? Give me a break. “B: I’ll be honest with you: you’ll never get the pony of your dreams.” Colgate let out a gasp, looking at me with a genuinely hurt expression. I ran a hoof through her mane slowly. “Not because you’re terrible, no, you’re wonderful, but you’ll have your expectations set far too high. They won’t meet reality. Ever. But you know what? That’s okay, since that means when you do fall for somepony, you’ll be pleasantly surprised.”

That nice, gentle smile returned to Colgate’s face. “So... it’s just a matter of waiting?” 

“Kind of. You’re a great pony and all, but you have to put in the effort. Ponies won’t come to you, you’ll have to go to them. Socialise and stuff like that. Which is why you should spend some time with Caramel more and see what happens, okay?” To be honest, I wasn’t thinking about what I was saying. It’s... almost like instinct, I guess...? My cutie mark should have been a heart, but I suppose that’s already been taken.

Colgate nodded. “Thanks, Lyra.” She smirked playfully. “You might be lazy, but if  ‘love doctor’ was an actual profession, you’d have your own office.” 

I  nudged her shoulder. “Yeah, and the reason dentists aren’t in love stories is because pulling out somepony’s teeth isn’t most ponies’ idea of a good time.” 

“Don’t make me strap you to a chair and put tools down your... mouth...” Much blushing occurred on her part. If it wasn’t obvious already, Colgate was still a virgin.

“Only two ponies have permission to do anything remotely like that: Bons and Kicky,” I retorted, grinning mischievously. 

She raised an eyebrow. “Kicky?”

“Cloud Kicker,” I elaborated.

“Oh, yeah... you two got the whole... thing going on,” she mumbled, fiddling with her hooves. “I don’t really get that, to be honest. You’ve never explained it to me.” 

“Well, it’s simple: Kicky and I are good friends, more than that in my opinion, and we bang because that’s how we show our love for each other. Get it?” I explained with a smile. I didn’t blame her for thinking it was weird, since I thought it was too, at first. 

Colgate scratched her head. “I guess... but it still seems really odd. When my parents had the whole sex talk with me, they said only romantic couples did it.”

“I thought that as a filly too, but Kicky helped me open up a little more.” I snickered and lightly nudged Colgate’s side. “She could help you too, if you wanted.” 

Judging from the redness in her cheeks, I could tell I had successfully flustered my friend. “No! We barely know each other and I wouldn’t feel right with it!”

I really didn’t expect quite a defensive response from her. “Banging isn’t bad, y’know. It’s one of the best things ever!”

“That may be, but with somepony I don’t know well? No thanks,” Colgate asserted, waving her hoof at me dismissively. I could see her point; banging was a trust thing, essentially. Unless you just had a quickie for the pleasure of it.

I grinned and leant closer to her, so she could smell my minty breath. “How about me, then?” I joked. I wasn’t planning to bang Colgate anytime soon and she knew it. Not that she was bad, far from it, but I already had two ponies I could bang while being in a relationship. Adding one more could have made things complicated.

Colgate snorted, then her horn glowed. I suddenly found myself levitating in the air, then being dropped right in front of my books. Papers flew everywhere as I landed, while Colgate giggled like a schoolfilly. 

As I gathered up the books and papers, Colgate managed to calm herself down to say something. “Okay, back to research, you.” In all fairness... okay, I guess she was right. I wanted to make sure that I did this talk right and to do that I needed the research. 

I shot her a playful smirk. “Yes, Doctor Colgate.” I then opened up a book and began to read once more. Both of us fell silent again. Then the boredom settled in.

Good Goddess, this was going to be a long night... but I knew it was going to be worth it.





So there I was, in the school, wearing a saddlebag full of my things. Colgate and I had researched all the... research that I needed over the past few days and with her help, I managed to fall asleep only three times! Now, I was prepared, I was ready.

And I was lost.

I was standing in the middle of a hallway, students weaving past me, as I peered at the school map I levitated in front of me. It had a mind bogglingly confusing design.

“Geeze... seriously? How the hay am I meant to find the classroom? How do any of the students find anything?!” I let out a frustrated groan. Honestly, life is too cruel sometimes--there I was, raring to go, and what happens? I can’t find where I’m supposed to go. 

One of the students trotted by, a unicorn, her saddlebags weighted down by books. “You a new professor or something?” I was so focused on trying to figure out the map, that I failed to notice her coming.

“Oh! Nono! Just a visitor doing a talk... but I can't find the classroom... eugh.” I shook the map in a vain attempt to somehow make it clearer.

The student took one look at my map and simply turned it ninety degrees to the left. Suddenly, everything was clear. I blinked in amazement, color rushing to my cheeks. “Oh... yeah, that'd make a lot of sense...” I said with a laugh. It was very awkward.

The unicorn snorted. “We live in a society that's half-pictographic in nature. Happens to Mom all the time.”

“Heh heh... yeah ... “ I glanced at my helper, then back the map. “Wait a second. “ I took a double take at the teenager. “You're Derpy's kid, aren't you?”

“One of 'em, yeah. I'm Sparkler.” She took a quick look at the clock, probably to make sure she had time to kill.

Out of all the students in this school, I was lucky enough to bump into the one who I knew. Kind of. I gave her a bright smile. “I’m Lyra! Anyway... “ I looked back at the map and finally found where the hay I was meant to go. “That's the classroom I got to get to,” I stated, pointing at a small classroom a short distance from our current position. At least, I thought it was.

This time, it was Sparkler’s turn to double take at me. “You're the guest speaker?” She sighed in relief, then looked up, tallking to herself. “Thank Luna, I thought it was that crazy minotaur...”

I let out an annoyed huff. “ Iron Will? Yeah, what a jerk. With his creepy goat minions... “ I began mumbling to myself, and a few words may have slipped out that Sparkler didn’t need to hear. Thankfully, she didn’t seem to notice.

I cleared my throat and stopped before I had an outburst. “Enough about that though.” I snorted, replacing my annoyed expression with something warmer. “We better get going then...uh...you can lead the way if you want, heh heh...”

“Yeeeeeah... c'mon, we've got another few minutes. This place isn't big, but it's still pretty crazy on Monday.” True to her word, a fellow student accidentally bumped into her, receiving a bit of a glare from Sparkler.

I gave her a grateful smile. “Thanks for this, heh.” Sparkler nodded at me and began to lead the way, myself following close behind. “So, uh, is this a good school?”

Sparkler shrugged, then sidestepped out of the way of another pony. “I don't really have a lot to compare it to, but I like it.”

I quickly got out of the way of the incoming student that Sparkler had just bypassed. “Well, as long as you enjoy going--makes school life tolerable.” I laughed quietly. 

“It's a balancing act. Homework, but cool professors, and stuff like that. Couple of jerks, but …” Sparkler trailed off, watching a dark green earth pony colt with a toolbox cutie mark, trotting along ahead of us.

“But a couple of good guys too, eh?” I asked with a sly grin. I knew that look she had.

When I called her out on her ‘inspection’, her cheeks went a definite shade of red. “Totally, yeah.” 

She followed the colt into a classroom and at first, I thought she was just trying to spark up a quick conversation with him. But she didn’t leave my side, nor did any other students entering look at her funny. My grin vanished.

I let out a deep sigh. “Well... this is it, I guess...”

“It's not so bad. Silver Platter's out sick, so you get to skip the worst of the bunch.” I looked over at some of her classmates. They seemed like an alright bunch, I guess...

I was slightly relieved, but still a little nervous. “Ah, good...here goes nothing then. Thanks again!” I looked to the front desk and my stomach turned. 

There was no teacher.

Was I meant to do this on my own? Was I just a scapegoat so that the teacher could trot along to the spa? Whatever the case, I had a classroom of twenty something teenagers, all staring at me. Judging me. That’s what teenagers are best at: judging.

I turned away from them, getting my stuff together. And my nerves. The more I thought about it, the more this seemed like a performance. My first formal performance in years...

Oh sweet Celestia, why was I doing this?!

I considered my options. I could dismiss the class, or tell them to goof off for an hour... or I could run away.

I nearly slapped myself in the face for thinking that. No. No running away from my problems. Not this time.

But why was I so ill-equipped to deal with them? 

I ran a hoof through my mane, collecting my composure. I turned around and--oh Goddess, was I really doing this?! “Hello... class!” 

I got a few mumbles out of them. Well, they certainly had their breakfast, didn’t they? I snorted and took a course of action to wake them up.

Wham!

That was the sound of my hoof hitting the front desk. I regretted it immediately, wincing holding my now red hoof. Seriously, that table was tough.

“That’s mahogany for you,” said one of the students. “Mahogany.” I’m not sure what unsettled me more: the fact that all the students were staring me as I clutched my hoof, or the fact that that student seemed to take a weird pleasure in saying mahogany.

I had to say something. Anything--no! Not anything! “Um... yes... I am Lyra Heartstrings and today, I shall be talking to you about music during the time of the Lunar Rebellion.”

The reaction to that was mixed. Some students sat looking eager, their backs straight, while others slumped onto their desks. Sparkler was somewhere in between.

“So, let’s start with some context! Have you learnt about the Lunar Rebellion yet?” I got a few lazy shrugs and murmurs as an answer. Thanks for the enthusiasm, guys. “Well, Equestria was united, but not to the extent that it is today. There were still a lot of tensions between the three ‘tribes’,” I used that word lightly; they were hardly primitive, “and their different cultures hadn’t really meshed yet. Which meant that the tribes each had distinct differences in their expression of music.”

I froze, hearing some really loud chewing at the front of the class. Some young mare at the front of the class was chewing gum. You could tell--what else makes your jaw move like your grinding rock with your teeth? 

I moved towards her. She kinda looked a little zoned out. “Er, are you allowed to chew gum in class?” I knew I wasn’t. When I chewed gum in class, I always got caught. Not because of the chewing, no, because I stuck it on other ponies.

I was a little prankster back then, sue me. I still am now.

The student looked up at me and shrugged. “Nah.”

“I don’t think you should be doing it then...” This was awkward. Was I allowed to discipline this lot?

Snorting, the mare spat out her gum and stuck it on the underside of the table. I grimaced and backed off. I used to put that stuff on other ponies? What the hay was wrong with me?

“Anyway... music back then was commonly used as a... sort of like a propaganda device. This was done through patronage, which was ponies paying musicians to write music about them, and then perform it. All three ‘tribes’ did this, but all did it differently,” I explained, trying hard not to stumble over my words.

“First: the pegasi. They were quite a militaristic society, and although a lot has changed, some elements of their ways are still around today. For example, the Guard in Canterlot.” I actually knew this from experience. Cloud Kicker had taken me around West Hoof and her clan hold a few times while I was in college. “Most pegasi would get musicians to write songs glorifying their clan, or their personal achievements on the battlefield. War songs, basically.” 

“The odd thing was that pegasi lived in a society without any form of money at the time. So in return for their services, musicians were freed from any obligations of the state, essentially allowing them to pursue a full time career in music.” To be honest, that did sound awesome to me. No money to worry about, but all your time for music? Count me in. “ A lot of musicians stuck with their patrons in this manner, and often became associated with the patron’s clan.”

“As for unicorns... well, their kind of patronage still happens today, at least in Canterlot. It was mostly a noble thing--if you had your own music, it was another step on the path to power. Their music was very different from the pegasi’s. While pegasi loved strong, loud instruments such as trumpets or drums, unicorns preferred instruments that were more refined and quieter, such as violins, cellos, or lyres.” 

“Wait,” said one student, raising his foreleg, “what’s a lyre?”

I smiled, glad for this opportunity to arise. I glanced back at the front desk, my lyre resting on it alongside other stuff, and levitated it for all the class to see. I got ‘oooo’s and ‘aaaaaah’s, which was pretty encouraging.

“This is a lyre. An instrument that can be beautiful and invigorating at the same time. Depends on how you play it.” I shrugged, putting my lyre back down. “Perhaps I may play it later for you lot.”

“Regardless, earth ponies used patronage too. Mostly, if they could afford it, to advertise their goods or services. Some even used it in political campaigns to become Chancellor.” I snorted with laughter. “Like they ever had a chance.”

Yeah... nopony got what I was laughing at. Damn it.

“Um... ‘cause Celestia always won,” I explained. Awkwardly. I got a few nods from the class, but most of them just stared at me like I was a freak.

“Earth ponies generally weren’t as picky as others when it came to preference in instruments, by the way.” Why, oh why did I say those last three words. This was an educational talk, not a meet up with some mates. “They were also fans of songs. Most of the earth pony population back then weren’t very literate, so stories were told through songs and music. Which leads me onto my next point.”

I levitated a scroll and unfolded it in front of the class, showing a map of Equestria at the time. Most of the towns were a lot smaller than they were today, although some places, particularly Canterlot, were still huge.

“Bards were very common at the time. These were ponies who would travel from town to town, playing music in the hopes of earning some bits. They were essentially free ponies, bound by only the laws of the land.”  I grinned, scuffing a hoof over my chest. “I consider myself a bit of a bard, even if I don’t travel. I just play around town.”

I saw a pink young mare raise her hoof. “Yes?” I asked, giving her permission to speak. She seemed to be quite attentive at the time, and at least she was polite--

“Are you homeless, then?”

I resisted the urge to facehoof. “No. I am not homeless,” I answered bluntly, before trying to lighten up a little. “And while most bards were, they were hardly lazy, and knew the lay of the land well enough to gather food for themselves. So, if you wanted a travelling companion, there’s no better pony out there than a bard.”

I went and got one of my books that I had taken with me and flipped through it. “Accounts about or from bards are rare, considering the fact that most were homeless. However, I managed to find some sources.” I stopped at a page, clearing my throat. “Right, here we go: ‘I always looked forward to bards coming to town. Of course, we never knew when that might happen, so it was always a pleasant surprise. The town certainly felt more cheery when one was around.’”

A blue colt with glasses raised a hoof. “How do we know that source is reliable?”

Really. Feathering seriously? Okay, there’s not paying attention in class and then there’s trying too hard. Deep breaths, Lyra. “It’s a diary entry from a simple villager--it won’t be intended to persuade anypony. Of course, some ponies weren’t so appreciative of bards...”

I flipped through the pages, finding the right source. “Here’s one from a blacksmith: ‘That infuriating bard came into town again. So, of course, the effort my apprentices put into their work has decreased dramatically. All they wish to do is to listen to that stallion’s music while getting drunk.’ So, as you can tell, bards could really shake up a town.” I smiled sweetly. “Such is the power of music.”

I put the book back on the desk. “My ancestors were bards, actually. The Heartstrings began as them, but they rose to prominence in the musical world after the Lunar Rebellion. It’s why we’re nobles now.”

A stallion decked in black sunglasses rose his hoof. I nodded at him and he spoke. “So, like, why was music so boring back then?”

What.

My eye twitched very slightly, but I laughed it off. “Ohohoho, it wasn’t boring at all!”

“But it is and, like, some still is today, dude.” Question: do I look like a dude? I mean, seriously? I know I cut my mane shorter after college, but come on! “That Octavia mare puts me to sleep.” 

Oh no he didn’t. You do not deserve the right to insult Octavia like that! “Well, I rather enjoy her music--”

One of the mares turned around to talk to that ‘dude’. “Oh my Goddess, did you listen to DJ PON3’s new album? It is so wubbin’!” 

The young stallion replied to her and before I knew it, the whole class was yammering on about something or other. I wasn’t going to bother shouting or anything, since I had already committed the most offensive crime a performer could ever do: I had bored my audience.

I know they were still kids, but... it really hurt. They obviously didn’t respect me enough or enjoyed my talk. All that hard work...

As I looked over the class, dismayed and defeated, I caught a glance of Sparkler. She was looking at me, and despite her friend nearby trying to get her attention, she gave me a smile and rolled her eyes, gesturing to everypony else. 

I nodded at her, smiling thankfully. At least she seemed to be invested, but even if she wasn’t, she was at least being polite. That meant a lot, really. I wasn’t going to carry on though, so I gestured at her friend. She got the message and entered a typical teenger conversation.

Myself, on the other hoof, just leant against the desk and started reading one of my books. I glanced up at the clock. At least I had cut into the lesson considerably--only twenty minutes left until the end. 

I could hardly call this a success, though. A good performer has their audience’s attention from start to finish. I had to face facts: I wasn’t good with teenagers. 

After awhile of me burying myself in my books, trying to distract myself from my failure, the bell suddenly rang, making me jump, and the students shuffled out of the class like I wasn’t even there. I groaned and brought my face to the front desk. “I'm not doing that again... Nope. No. Never,” I told myself, sighing.

“That was .... nice,” said Sparkler, coming up next to me. So she didn’t like it too. Great.

“A nice piece of grade A bucking up...” I replied, rolling my eyes. 

“Nothing caught fire. You're fine.” I didn’t have anything that could make flames anyway... so that statement was just random.

I blinked at her, a little confused. “Wait, what? How could anything catch fire?”

Sparkler raised an eyebrow at me. “I did explain who my Mom is, right?”

Damn it. Silly me. I bonked my own head with a hoof. “Yes, yes. Derpy's your mom, right.” How could I forget that? “My mind is all flustered now, eugh. I could use some food or something...”

“Heh.” She looked to her saddlebags, rummaged through them, and got out a fresh muffin, holding it in her hoof. “I always have a few spares on hoof. It's one of the few foods she gets right. They're almost like bits around here.”

I stared at the muffin and did the only logical thing. I grabbed that muffin-y goodness and snapped it right up. “Mmm... mmm,” I mumbled while chewing. It was heavenly--been too long since I had Derpy’s muffins. “Okay... Okay I'm good now,” I said after swallowing. Much like Derpy herself, they really brightened up your day. “I think. Thanks... for what, the third time?”

Sparkler snorted, grinning. “No prob, I--”

Something whooshed past her in the air and slammed into my mane, hitting my head. “What the hay?!” I looked around, trying to find the source, but I came up with nothing. I deflated a little, letting out a defeated sigh. “Just when I thought my day was getting better... I hate school.”

Sparkler was giving the doorway a piercing glare, looking at a few students who were giggling and making their escape. “Aaand you've met Velvet Cushion. The local stuck up, twice-feathered, brown-nosing nag.” 

Aah. One of those girls, huh? “Every school... every school always has its sons of mules. Eugh... mind getting this out?” I pointed at my mane. I didn’t need to say what was in it--the warm spit trailing down my head was enough. “ I can't see it.”

Sparkler’s horn glowed, and after a little painful tussle, the spitball was out. “Thanks,” I said, with a small smile. Somehow, this scenario got a little chuckle out of me. “Again. I owe you, definitely.”

“Careful, I might start keeping count.” Oo, she’s witty for her age. That’s a very good quality.

“At this rate you'll get to at least twenty,” I retorted, smirking.

That made her laugh, shaking her head. Unfortunately, she began to wander to the door. “I gotta get to my next class. See you around?”

“Sure! I got...” Uh... what did I have to do after this? “...nothing to do. I'm sure I'll find something, though.” Sparkler nodded and gave me a hoof bump on the shoulder, before going on. That was nice. Great, actually--we were on good terms. 

I grinned happily, watching her leave. “See you,” I called out, then started to pack my things up.

Now, what could I do? I felt like getting revenge on that little spitball brat... but my conscious told me that pranking a teenager in their own school wasn’t a smart idea... I guess all I could do was tells Bons what had happened.

I smacked a hoof on the front desk (not as hard as last time) and let out a frustrated groan. This was meant to be a nice surprise for her, but now it was just a bitter failure and disappointment. Worse still, I had no back up plans. I had to go back to the drawing board, but my chalk was crumbling apart. 

I grabbed my things and left the classroom, shuffling between students hurrying to their classes. I felt inferior around them. I was like them once: young, hopeful and fairly hard working. I had dreams that I was going to pursue.  But I got careless, I made too many mistakes, and soon my dreams fell apart at the seams before me. Then I wound up here.

I wouldn’t leave Bon Bon for the world. The mere thought alone disgusted me. 

But... she might leave me if I don’t succeed at this...

I slipped through the double doors of the school’s entrance and wandered back through Ponyville. I was thankful for the quiet, but now I had to face the music. 





I stumbled through the front door of Bons’ house, feeling kind of tired. It was only afternoon, but for whatever reason, those kids had drained me of all my strength. Geeze, thank Goddess I didn’t go to the younger fillies’ school.

Was Bon Bon home? I didn’t know, but I was too tired to call out for her. Couch. I needed the couch. I shuffled over and collapsed upon it. That’s better--sweet comfort.

I probably would have fallen asleep right there and then were it not for the sound of shuffling hooves. I turned my head to see Bon Bon standing in the entryway to the living room, a mug of coffee in her hoof. 

“You look exhausted, sweetie,” she said, tilting her head slightly. I could smell that coffee from here... mmm...

“I am,” I replied simply, resting my head on a cushion. 

Bons came over and started stroking my mane gently. I couldn’t help but smile at the contact. She was pretty strong, being an earth pony, but she could be really delicate when she wanted to be. “Want some coffee?” 

“Please.” I grabbed her forehoof and started nuzzling it. I wanted to sleep in all honesty, but I had to tell her what happened. Couples don’t keep secrets. 

“I can’t make it if you’re here nuzzling me, dear,” Bons said, with one of her delightful little giggles. Music to my ears. 

“True, true,” I agreed and let her go. “Just don’t take long, yeah?”

Bon Bon leant down to peck me on the lips. Mm. I definitely needed that because I immediately felt a little more refreshed. “I won’t.”

She went to the kitchen and within minutes, a cup of fresh coffee was levitating beside me and I was nestled up next to the most beautiful mare in the world. We sat there in companionable silence, just drinking our beverages, yet despite the plainness, I couldn’t imagine anywhere else in the world where I would rather have been right then.

Love is funny like that. It makes you cherish and hold simple moments like these close to your heart. Maybe that was because we were both doing what we set out to do when we first became a couple--living together.

Bons nuzzled my neck and broke the silence. “So, what happened today?”

Aah, hay. Here we go. Time to ruin the moment. I fiddled with my hooves, trying to come up with the best answer I could. “I did a little talk at the high school, about music and stuff... y’know, as I way to start my career.”

I got the response I expected, which made what I had to say next even worse. Bon Bon hugged me in a vice, planting big kisses on my face. “That’s fantastic! How did it go?!”

I closed my eyes. Just say it, Lyra. Speak the damn truth. “Horribly. The kids lost interest halfway through so I... I...” I swallowed harshly, before saying the real truth. “I gave up again, okay?”

In our current position, I couldn’t see Bon Bon’s face, and that really unsettled me since there was a silence after I had spoken my piece. I bit my lip, trying to keep under control. I could have apologised, repeatedly, but I didn’t think that would have looked right. 

One thing did slip out, though. “I failed you.”

Suddenly, I felt Bons grab my face and turn me around so that our eyes met. She wasn’t angry at all, in fact, she was smiling! “You really think going out there, by yourself, and trying something that you’ve never done before is a failure? That’s a massive success, in my book.”

My ears twitched, as if they couldn’t believe what they hearing. I know I couldn’t. “What? No, no you don’t get it. I tried, yeah, but it didn’t work out!”

Then Bon Bon lunged forward and her lips touched mine. She wrapped her hooves around me as she passionately kissed me. I was only too happy to reply. I didn’t know why, but she wasn’t mad at me, and that’s all I cared about. We stayed together like that for a while, our eyes closed and bodies close to each other. 

Then, after awhile, she broke off and grinned at me. “All that happened is that you found out you weren’t good at something. There’s still plenty of areas of work to try out.” She put her forehooves on my cheeks, bringing me close. “I’m not disappointed in you, Lyra. I’m proud of you. So proud that you’d go out of your comfort zone...” Her eyes then started watering. Was she really this happy at my apparent failure? Whatever the case, I didn’t feel tired and downcast anymore. I had brought my love to tears of joy and that filled me up with joy. “Just to make me happy.” 

Then the tears fell down her face. I kissed her cheeks, wiping away the tears. “I love you, Bon Bon.” I might have been a unicorn, but Bons was the magical one here.

“And I love you too, Lyra.” Then we shared another fiery, loving kiss. We both knew where this was leading up to, so we broke off and got off the coach, going upstairs together.

Even with protection, that was one of the best nights of loving I ever had. 





My reward for braving the school was Cloud Kicker herself, only the next day. Apparently, she had run into Bons during the day and had set up one of our ‘get-togethers’ for the evening. When I heard, I couldn’t wait. 

Bons and I sat on the couch, cuddling each other. Thanks to my efforts yesterday, Bon Bon had completely warmed up to me. I felt safe and secure once again as she covered me in kisses. 

Then I heard a knocking at the door and was rushing towards in less than ten seconds flat. “Coming!” I yelled, grinning as I reached the door and swung it open, Cloud Kicker standing right in front of me. “Hi, Cloud Kicker! All set for some fun?” I snickered, eagerly anticipating the fun we’d all share.

Our guest banger held up a baguette, looking from it to me. “Oh right, I'm banging you two tonight, not Raindrops.” She frowned at the food. “Well, I guess we can use this as a post-banging snack.”

I blinked, staring at the baguette. “What the hay do you use a baguette for...?”

“It's long and thin. Think about it, Harpflank.” She had me there. She trotted in, meeting with Bons, who had just joined me. “Hey, Bon Bon. How's life?”

“Hey, Cloud Kicker. Pretty good. How about--”She glanced at the baguette, “not going to ask--yourself?”

“Doing good. Loving the new job,” Cloudy replied. 

“I bet you are,” Bons replied, with a sweet smile. “Do you want anything?”

I closed the door, thinking that it wouldn’t hurt to freshen my breath a bit. “I could use a mint myself. Hold on.” I entered the kitchen and opened a cupboard, getting out a box of mints. I mulled it over, thinking that two should have suffice.

I heard Cloud Kicker from the hallway. “You,” she said in a sultry tone, then dropped it, “But for now, some lemonade if you have any.”

“You can have her when I'm done with her!” I shouted, laughing as I popped the mints into my mouth.

I heard a small giggle escape from Bons. “Never a dull moment with you two. Anyway, I'll get right on that lemonade.” She then went into the kitchen, Kicky following her. 

She popped her baguette onto the table. “Guess we might as well do something with this bread too.”

I ate one more mint, just because they’re so damn good. “For eating or banging? 'Cause I'm fine with either.”

Bon Bon poured a glass of lemonade for Kicker, sliding it over to her. “I think she meant eating, Lyra.”

Cloudy nodded a thanks at Bons and sipped some lemonade before tearing off a chunk of bread. “Yeah, eating. Bread really doesn't hold up too well to banging.”

“Sounds like Raindrops would say otherwise. Is she into the...'eccentric' side of banging?” I asked, ripping off some of the baguette. Raindrops didn’t strike me at that sort of pony, but I couldn’t say I knew her very well.

“Sorry, I don't kiss and tell,” Cloudy answered, beginning to eat her chunk.

Bon Bon poured herself a glass. “That's good to know,” she said, nodding at Cloud Kicker and taking a sip.

“I guess... doesn't take a genius to figure out what we get up to though.” I cast my magic hands, waving one lazily in the air.

Kicky let out a chuckle. “Well, some ponies have more obvious interests than others.”

I nodded in agreement. “That's true. I like mints, Bons loves her sweets,” I grinned slyly at my fillyfriend, “and her sweetie, Pinkie is all about cupcakes and Derpy loves her muffins. So yeah, some of us are kind of easy to figure out.”

“Yup. Speaking of, how's the candy stand doing, Bon bon?” Cloudy asked, before eating another piece of bread. 

“Business as usual, really,” Bons replied with a shrug. “It's not really an eventful job--pretty good for socialising though.”

I began to cut off a slice of bread for myself, looking at Cloud Kicker. “Well, as long as you're making a solid profit,” she said.

“The profit lets us get by. For now,” Bon Bon replied, stealing a quick glance at me.

Cloudy frowned slightly. “Hmm. What about you, Lyra?”

I blinked. She knew my work position. Or, she should’ve done. “What about me?”

Our bang buddy smirked. “Still being a lazy bum,” she teased, playfully nudging me with her wing. 

“Hey! I'm not lazy! I'll have you know that the other day, I went to Sparkler's school and did a talk on music.” I nodded at her, stuffing some bread into my mouth.

Bon Bon shook her head. “ It didn't go well... but!” She raised a hoof in my defence. “She did try, and that’s a start.”

I swallowed my mouthful. “You didn't have to provide more material for Kicky here, Bons...” I rolled my eyes. Kicky was great, but sometimes I wasn’t in the mood for her teasing.

Instead of leaping at the chance to joke at me some more, she wrapped a wing around me. “Wanna talk about it?”

“Now? Pfft. Not when we got some fun to get to!” I paused, mulling it over. I guess I could’ve used more ponies to talk to about it. I leant closer to her, whispering, “Later, okay?”

“Sure,” she whispered back, before speaking normally. “Sounds like you've got your priorities straight, Lyra. So, what did you and Bon Bon have in mind?”

“Well, we can start nice and relaxed by preening those wings of yours, if you wanted us to,” Bon Bon offered, sneaking a bit of bread into her mouth.

“Ooooh. Sounds lovely,” Cloud Kicker responded, withdrawing her wing from me.

“In that case, my lovely mares, we shall move to the bedroom!” I took the initiative, beginning to leave the room.

“Sounds like a plan.” She downed the last of her lemonade, then looked at my fillyfriend. “Shall we, Bon Bon?”

Bons quickly put the glasses near the sink, then started to follow me and Cloudy. “Right away, Cloud Kicker.”

We made our way up the stairs and into my and Bons’ bedroom. I stood by the bed, inviting Cloud Kicker onto it. “Make yourself comfy, Kicky.”

She took her usual place in the middle of the bed, making herself comfortable and spreading her wings out, grinning. “So ... you two gonna give me anything to play with while I'm getting preened?”

I saw the chance for a quick tease and I seized it. “Like what? A chew toy?” I snickered at my own joke.

“Oh, I was hoping for a little something sweet,” Kicky retorted, eyeing up my fillyfriend. I didn’t mind--I trusted her.

“Hm. I thought we could still have a nice chat before we -really- get going. How are things with you, anyway?” Bons asked as I began preening.

“Life is good,” she answered, grinning. “Oh, speaking of Lyra's whole music talk at Sparkler's school, I kinda have a thing going with Derpy now.”

I stopped, looking at Cloud Kicker, beaming. “Oh, that's wonderful!” Honestly, I had been waiting for this day for a while.

“Aww, go on,” Bon Bon added, gesturing for Cloudy to keep talking.

“Not much to say, really. We just kinda hooked up and banged on whim, and liked it enough that we decided to stick with it.” Huh. That didn’t sound very romantic, and I knew that Kicky was perfectly capable of romance.

“So you're more friends with benefits...?” I asked, dreading the answer.

Cloudy nodded. “Yeah, pretty much.”

I held back a sigh. “Aah. That works too.” I shrugged and went back to preening in order to hide my disappointment. One day, Kicky, one day...

“What about her kids...? Isn't that a bit awkward?” Trust Bons to ask the important questions.

“A little, yeah. Dinky's too young to know what's going on, but Sparkler...” Cloudy trailed off, frowning a little bit.

“I can talk to her about it, you know,” I offered. After the whole school fiasco, I did want to see her again. 

“If you want to, sure,” Kicky replied. To be honest, I would have anyway even if she said no.

“Right then, I'll make sure to track her down.” I looked at Bons, a beautiful idea forming in my head. “Hey Bons, want to go grab the chocolate or shall I?”

Bons grinned suggestively at me. “Well you suggested the idea.” That I did. I guess it was up to me then.

“Now that brings back some memories,” Cloud Kicker said, nipping at my fillyfriend’s flank. Again, I didn’t mind, especially since she let out an adorable squeak in surprise. 

Some good memories indeed. It wasn’t a fact I told many ponies but... Cloud Kicker and I had more history than most ponies would suspect. It was true that we banged relatively quickly, though... geeze, that was more than a couple years ago now, wasn’t it? 

“Just getting things ready. I won't be long!” I snickered, then rushed downstairs to execute my plan. Straight up banging with those two was all well and good, but I wanted to maximize the fun factor as much as possible. And you know what’s really fun?

Chocolate. Chocolate is fantastic fun.

I looked through the kitchen cupboards and found a  bottle of chocolate sauce soon enough. I levitated alongside me and went back to the banging center. 

There was a brief pause when I returned. Cloud Kicker licked her lips. “So... what are you up to? Lots of fun things a pony can do with chocolate sauce...”

“Mmmmmm...” I winked at Kicky, then licked the tip of the bottle free from chocolate.

“Oh. I know exactly what she's thinking,” Bon Bon said. From the tone of her voice, I just knew that she looking forward to this.

Cloudy looked between me and Bons. “So... who's getting sauced up?”

I gave her sly grin. “Everyone.”

Bon Bon blinked. “That'll make cleaning up... awkward.”

“It'll be worth it,” I assured her, settling on the bed next to Cloud Kicker. 

“Definitely,” Kicky agreed, reaching over to the bottle and stealing it from me. She then squeezed, squirting chocolate all over my chest. She licked her lips. “Yum.” The moment she started cleaning up was the moment I definitely knew that this was a brilliant idea. Good times, here I come!

“Oi. I'm the squirter here!” I teased, stealing the bottle back and squirting sauce all over the other two. 

“Stop whining,” Kicky retorted, then licked more chocolate off of me. “Don't worry about the premature squirting. It's a common issue. Though usually more of a stallion thing.”

“Oh shush, you,” I replied. I nodded at Bons, she nodded back, and we both started licking chocolate off the mare in the middle.

“As much as Cloud Kicker probably enjoys this, we all know the real reason why she's here,” Bon Bon said, grinning at me. Yep, it was really no secret that Cloudy really enjoyed my magic touch.

“Hey, don't forget the foreplay, Bonsy.” Cloud Kicker switched off, licking my fillyfriend free of sauce. “Always nice to get in the mood for a bit before jumping into into the main event.”

“Didn't your parents teach you anything about sharing sweets, Kicky?” I shuffled over so I could lick Bon Bon too. She just sat there and took it, enjoying every lick.

“Oh, there's plenty of Bon Bon left, Lyra. I'm only using a bit of her,” Cloudy pointed out, before rubbing her hooves over Bons’ flanks.

Bon Bon giggled delightedly at the contact. “Lyra, you missed a spot on Cloudy.” She leant over and began to lick Cloudy’s neck.

“Oh, is Lyra slacking on us. Well, that won't do.” Cloud Kicker gave me a playful spank on my flank with a wing. An individual feather is nothing, yet a whole wing is... something else. 

“Well for that, I'll give you a thumbs up.” I cast my magic hands and pointed a thumb up in the air. Apparently it was a gesture creatures with digits, mainly Minotaurs, used that meant ‘good job’, or something like that. 

I ran a finger down Kicky’s back and she shuddered. “Ooohoho. Well if we're going into tit for tat, I think I'll make out with your fillyfriend.” And then she did. Going by her grunts of pleasure, Bons was having a great time.

“Come on, don't make me the third wheel now,” I joked, planting kisses on both of their necks.

Cloud Kicker broke away from Bons. “Perish the thought. Biggest threesome foul out there is turning a threesome into a twosome.” Then she moved a hoof to the base of my tail. I couldn’t help but shudder slightly.

“Really, Cloud Kicker, you spoil us,” Bon Bon said, with a grin.

“And you spoil me right back, Sweets.” Kicky paused for a second. “Y'know, maybe we should do more interesting things with our mouths than using them for talking.”

“Is that our cue, then?” I asked. Here we go...

“Yup.”

And then there was a big bang.





I woke up, feeling very groggy, my ears twitching slightly. I couldn’t tell how far into the morning it was, since the curtains were drawn. Grumbling, I rolled over in bed, only to find myself with Cloud Kicker, who was very much awake.

She grinned at me and kissed the top of my horn. “Good morning, sunshine,” she said, then gave me a smirk. “Though if you don't wake up soon, I might have to change that to 'Good afternoon, Sunshine.'”

I yawned and rubbed my eyes. “Whatever... works for me. We don't have to get up yet...” I could’ve stayed there forever, really; it was cosy.

“Well, I do kinda have to go to work at some point.” Eugh. The dreaded work. I mean, it was good that Kicky was concerned about her job, but I placed a higher priority on our time together.

I cuddled up to Cloud Kicker, yawning again. She was really soft, like a pillow. And for the time being, she was mine. “Screw work... Rainbow Dash won't mind...”

“I've got a while yet, I'm on the late afternoon shift.” She nuzzled my head affectionately and I happily returned the gesture. “So, there’s still a lot of ‘us time’ available.”

“Mmm. Good...” I closed my eyes and let out a content sigh, perfectly fine with lying there by Kicky’s side.

“So…” Kicky began idly running a hoof through my mane. I sighed contently, enjoying the contact. “What do you wanna talk about?”

I gave her a half hearted shrug. “I don't know... what about you?”

“What about me?” Cloud Kicker asked, kissing the base of my neck. 

“You seem to have it all under control... you got promoted and your sex life is great--especially now with your thing with Derpy...” I didn’t envy her for it, but in comparison to myself, Cloud Kicker left Canterlot in a better position than I had.

“Not to mention you and Bons, which is kinda what’s on my mind right now.” She nibbled my neck for a bit, licking her lips. “Minty...”

That got a little laugh from me. “I know I am.” I fell silent, thinking. “It's great that you still come around... I mean, it probably sounds shallow, but what with Bons there,” I gestured to my sleeping fillyfriend, “it kind of sucks to use protection all the time... I'd rather be careful though.” There was also the fact that I loved spending time with Kicky, which was something we both knew. 

“Yeah, a pregnancy would kinda complicate things. Though really, you two have been together for how long now?” she asked musingly. 

I smiled, thinking back over happy memories past. “Over a year now... The last Hearts and Hooves day? Our second.”

Cloud Kicker nodded. “And you've been living together for a while now.”

“Sometimes I go back to my place but... mostly, yeah.” I yawned, burying my face in Kicky’s chest. Moments like this--moments of peaceful snuggling--I always cherished.

Kicky gave me another nip, this time at my ear. “Sounds to me like you two are pretty close to hitched already.”

I returned the gesture, attacking her neck. “Yeah... yeah, I guess we are...” I glanced over to Bons. She looked so calm, lying there.

“Might be something to think on. I mean, I love you both to bits, but you two clearly have something.” Cloud Kicker and I were more than just banging partners, but what we had was nothing in comparison to what Bons and I shared.

“You're such a sweetheart, Kicky.” I gave her a quick peck on the cheek. “And yeah... I know we have something special. And I want to hold onto it forever... I know it's probably cliché but I'll say it anyway because it's true: she completes me.” 

“Aww.” She smiled... but it gradually faded. “So ... what's wrong in paradise?”

I sighed quietly, realising that she really wanted to talk. Not just talk, but talk talk. “This is probably going to sound really pathetic but... Bons wants me to finally get a job... I think we're fine but she doesn't...”

“Money trouble?” I shook my head in response. 

“Not now... but if we want to settle down then yeah... probably... Bon Bon is just planning ahead...” I traced a little circle on the mattress.

“Yeah. Plus ... look, don't take this the wrong way Lyra, but  you're a little old to still have your parents paying the bills.” Great, now Cloud Kicker was getting on my case too?

“But it's a system and it works!” I defended, yet quickly calmed down. I didn’t want wake Bon Bon, after all. 

Cloud Kicker sighed. “Lyra, are you really okay with being well into adulthood but still living like a filly?”

What was the issue here? Parents help their children. That’s why they’re parents! “I... I'm sorry but... I don't see the problem.”

“I know you don't It's just ... look, the baby bird has to leave the nest eventually.” Hmph. I wasn’t a baby at all.

“I have though... I'm here, aren't I? It's only bits, Kicky...” If you took the bits factor out of the equation, I was living without support from anypony. I was definitely a normal adult.

“Bits are a pretty big deal. Kinda hard to live without them.” Well of course I knew that. It’s probably lesson number two in life 101. “I just—what do you wanna do with your life, Lyra?”

I nuzzled her, mentally pleading for a return to the cuddling. “I want to spend the rest of my days with Bon Bon... and I want us to be happy.”

There was a little pause before she answered. “Is that it? Nothing else you want out of life?”

I smiled, although it was a tired one. “It's all I need.”

“So ... you got nothing of value in your life except Bon Bon?” I didn’t expect that question--it had far too many implications for my liking. 

“Well... no. You're important to me, Kicky.” I kissed her neck a few times, just to prove my point. “And so are my other friends...”

My kisses were returned, Cloud Kicker covering my face in them. “Thanks, sweetie. It's just ... a pony needs something in their lives besides romance. You ever thought about picking the whole music thing back up? More than just playing in the park for a couple bits, I mean.”

“What... you mean, go back to college?” I shook my head. I left there once and I wasn’t going back. “No... no, I can’t do that.”

“Why not?” That made me fall silent.

It was only a nudge from Kicky that prompted me to start speaking again. “I... I-I just... I didn't like it there and...” I let out a shuddered sigh. “I wasn't... motivated enough...”

“Hmm. Maybe you need to get motivated,” Cloud Kicker mused. 

“But... that isn't me! I live in the moment! I-I...” I don’t know why... maybe because it was the truth or it was bringing back bad memories, but for some reason, I found myself crying into Kicky’s chest. “I just can't! And I know that's awful but... I'm so useless! I can't do anything other than play my l-lyre and even I botched that chance up...” I wiped my eyes, trying to calm down. “I'm sorry...”

I felt Cloud Kicker tighten her hold over me. “Lyra, sweetheart, you are not useless.” Then she leant me down and gave me a deep kiss on the lips, one which I happily returned.

We kissed for a short while, before breaking off. I sniffled, the tears beginning to stop. “Then why haven't I accomplished anything...?”

“Lyra, sweetie, if you wanna make something of yourself, then go out there and do it.” I had told myself that quite a few times in my life... except there was always one issue...

“I wouldn't know where to start...” I laughed weakly, a curious idea coming to mind. “Maybe I can sprout wings and join your team?”

Kicky smiled back at me. “I wouldn't mind that. But ... Well, you've got your music, right?”

“Yeah but... there's the thing...” I fiddled with my hooves. 

“Yes?” My anxiety died down, for one peck on the lips was all that was needed to calm me down again. 

“I don't want to become famous because... that'll change everything... and I might lose sight of what's important: the music. This right here? I don't want to change it, Kicky. I really don't...” That’s how the music industry works; either you’re famous and have a very extravagant lifestyle, or you’re pretty much a nopony and need a second job to support yourself. “See? I don't even know what I want with myself...”

“So, what? You're worried that if you really try to make something of your music, you'll mess it up?” Oh, I knew what that was like.

“No no... the opposite. You've heard of Octavia, right? I love her work but... her life isn't one I want to live. I'd probably have to leave all this behind...” I looked right into Kicky’s eyes, giving her a determined glare. “I've started something here... and I'm not leaving it.”

“So, you'd have to leave Ponyville to really pursue your music,” Cloud Kicker said.

“Ponyville isn't big enough to support a career like that... I do play in the streets sometimes... only get a couple of bits for it though.” I enjoyed playing in Ponyville, but only because myself and others enjoyed the music I made. 

“So you'd have to go do a couple concerts and tours and stuff.” Hah... if only...

“P-pretty much... that, or move to somewhere like Manehattan and only perform in small clubs...” I looked away, pondering things. “Music might be my passion but... I don't think it's my job. You love banging, but look at you!” I prodded Kicky’s chest. “Promoted and almost calling the shots...”

“So you love music, but it's a hobby.”

“Yep...” I nodded and squeezed her gently. 

Kicky ran a hoof through my mane comfortingly. “So then ... what do you want for a job?” 

“I don't know! Like I said, I'm pretty much useless... I don't know where to begin... I'd need so much training to get anything good...” I could feel the floodgates opening again, but Kicky was there to stop any of that from happening. 

“You are not useless,” she said in that firm, military like tone she rarely uses. She then followed that up with a slightly forceful kiss. 

After returning, I pulled back and slowly nodded. “Yes... you're right. Sorry... this is all new to me and it's kind of daunting...”

“Yeah, but you'll figure it out.” She gently took my hoof in her own. “Besides, Bon Bon will be there to help. You just need to let her.”

“Yeah... I have to try at least. Thank you, Kicky.” This is what I needed; a pep talk after I had get knocked down (and knocked up, heh heh). “Even if Bons and I get married, you'll always have your special place here.” Grinning, it was my turn to make the first move and kiss Cloudy.

“Glad to hear it.” Kicky glanced over Bons, thinking. “Say... think she'd mind if we had a quick little...” She looked back at me, waggling her eyebrows. “Think you could use a bit of a pick-me-up.”

“I don't think she would...” I grinned, liking the idea. Bon Bon knew Kicky and I had banged a ton of times before anyway.

“Well then...” She slid a hoof under the covers. “Let's forget about all this job stuff for a bit.” She kept moving her hoof, then hesitated a bit. “Y'know, Lyra, I love you and Bons to bits. Not love love, but still... y'know.”

“Do you love love anyone, Kicky...?” I had asked this question before, but the answer was always the same. 

She hesitated before answering this time.“Nah, it's not really my thing.” Normally she was a lot more definite. One thing I knew though, was not to press her on the issue.

At least, not too much. “ I've always believed that there's a special somepony for all of us... you're a wonderful mare, Cloud Kicker. I think you'd make somepony feel very special, you know?”

She fell conspicuously silent and my suspicions were raised. I looked at her with concern, asking softly, “What's wrong?”

“Nothing. Just... old history.” Another answer I had gotten before. 

“Oh... I'm sorry, Kicky.” I kissed her forehead, regretting that I couldn’t do more. Sometimes, I really wished she’d open up more and actually let me help her like she had to me. “But that stuff I said about you is still true. Remember that. And if you ever need a talk, or a song, I'm here,” I said, giving her a reassuring smile. 

“Thanks.” She resumed sliding her hoof right down to my... yeah. “So... how about we go from sappy talking time to me showing you how important you are to me?”

I giggled in anticipation. “Show me.”

“Gladly... but one thing first.” She smirked at me and I raised an eyebrow in reply. “So far I haven't gotten any reciprocation on the whole love-as-a-friend thing...”

I moved a hoof slowly down her chest. “You really need me to tell you that?” I questioned, with a teasing grin. 

She grinned right back at me. “It's nice to hear it, sometimes.”

I cleared my throat before speaking. “Allow me to show you why they call me 'Heartstrings'.” It didn’t take me long to think of what to say. It was the truth, after all. “Cloud Kicker. You are perhaps the most trustworthy friend a pony could ask for. Also the most radiant, like the cutie mark on Celestia's plot itself. I think I am truly blessed to know you as I do today. And although my love for you burns brightly, it is not the same as the flame that burns for Bon Bon.” I laughed lightly--some of that stuff was a bit corny. “Good enough?”

Kicky enjoyed it though, laughing joyfully and beaming right at me. I saw a bit of her younger self, right there. “I guess it'll do. And now... we'll bang,okay?”

“My flank is ready.” I gave her a challenging grin. Bring. It. On. “Let's do it.”

What happened next was easy to guess. And wonderful, all the same. 

> The Pony Who Never Skips a Beat
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I woke up at roughly the same time Kicky did, so we both had our breakfast and let Bon Bon sleep in for a bit. I always think that, considering she works so hard, she needs all the sleep she can get; she does lead a quite work intensive life. I could predict her exact routine for today: get up, eat, then make some candies before selling them out at the market. Me? I was a lot more flexible, although I did have one goal I wanted to accomplish today.

It didn’t take long after breakfast for Kicky to leave and do... whatever she does. Or whoever. I wanted her to stay for just a little while longer, but... she can’t. She has her own life to live. I know it isn’t true, but whenever she leaves after a banging session, I can’t help but shake the feeling that we’ve become more distant than we used to be. 

I thought that maybe if I washed the dishes, it’d clear my head from such thoughts. But honestly, there was nothing else to think about. I turned on the tap and began scrubbing our used plates with a washcloth—using my magic hands, of course.

Back when we were both in Canterlot, we spent practically every day together, whenever it was possible. Now? Days can go by when I only catch a glimpse of her with some other pony. Usually Blossom, Rainbow Dash... or Raindrops.

I frowned as I began scrubbing the plates a bit harder. Raindrops and I got along about as well as two dragons that shared a cave full of gems, the damn grumpy workaholic. Okay, I know work is important, but when it turns you into a plothead? That’s where I draw the line. It didn’t help that she looked down on me because of my lifestyle.

I shook my head and put one clean dish on the side. Back to Kicky. I suppose I shouldn’t be too surprised at us distancing; in Canterlot, she did write a lot to Rainbow Dash, although I never read any of the letters. Kicky always danced around the question when I asked what she wrote to her about. That always confused me, but it doesn’t matter anymore. Regardless, it made sense that she’d go back to her old friends when she moved to Ponyville. 

I stopped and grimaced. That made her sound like she didn’t care about me at all, but I knew that wasn’t the case. But then... why had we become more distant? I resumed scrubbing. There are some things in this world you can never explain.

Still, it could be worse. At least we still bang. And when we do, it’s glorious.

Not long after I had finished washing up, Bon Bon slowly came downstairs, bed mane and all. I couldn’t help but smile as she stumbled into the kitchen.

“Morning, sugar,” I said, giving her a peck on the cheek.

“Morning, mint, “ she replied, fighting back the urge to yawn. 

I snorted, smirking. “You’ll want coffee then, I take it?”

“Mhm,” Bons simply answered, sitting down at the table. 

I trotted over to the kitchen counters and prepared the morning brew. “And while I’m at it, shall I make your breakfast too?” It was intended as a joke, but if she said yes, then of course I’d do it.

Bon Bon shook her head slightly. “No, I’ll do it.” 

“Alright then, hun.” I suppose I can’t blame her for that. She is a better cook than me. 

Soon enough, the coffee was in a mug, which in turn was in my lover’s hooves. I sat in the chair next to her, its legs skidding across the floor as I moved closer to her. 

“So,” I began while she was taking a sip, “more work today?”

Bon Bon put the mug down. Already she looked more awake. “Actually, I was thinking of taking the day off today.” 

That made me raise an eyebrow. “It’s not Sunday, though.” 

“I know, but after last night...” She smiled dreamily, then blinked. “Well, I just want my rest day earlier this week.”

I beamed and put a foreleg around her, pulling in for a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Now, she was all mine for the rest of the da—

“Besides, Cherry wanted to hang out with me today.”

I froze, but knew that pulling away would seem suspicious. Didn’t stop me from grinding my teeth together though. “Cool. Yeah. That’s fine, hun.”

Bon Bon nodded once. “Good.” She took another sip, and then asked,  “Do you have any plans today?”

“One,” I answered. “Y’know Sparkler, right?”

Bons smirked at me. “Of course I know her. You did tell me about her when you came back from the lecture. I’ve also sold candies to her and her family.”

I guess that made sense. Selling stuff is a very social thing, and in a town like Ponyville, trust is a big part of the business game. If your product sucked, or you did something bad and got caught, word would spread very quickly and your business prospects would plummet. 

“Mhm. Anyways, I was going to meet Sparkler after school and give her something as a thanks. Maybe a cupcake or something.” Plus, she seemed like a cool kid, anyway.

I did need something from her though. Well, rather, her mom. The problem with that was that Derpy was an extremely busy pony and I never knew how her work schedule—er, worked. I figured Sparkler of all ponies would know.

“Seems like the best thing to do,” Bon Bon said, sliding out from the table and heading to the kitchen counters. “As for me, time to get my bake face on.”

I grinned, watching her prepare hay bacon strips like a pro. Then I grumbled as I smelt them cooking. 

I should’ve waited for her to make me breakfast...





After spending the day playing music and generally lying about, the time had come for school to finish. I headed for Sparkler’s school and waited outside for the students to come rushing out. After a few stares were directed my way, I realised that an adult like me waiting for hordes of teenagers to leave school looked... kinda off. So I sat on a bench a ways away that still gave me a view of the exit. I thought that picking out Sparkler shouldn’t have been too hard, considering she was all purple.

The doors swung open and teenagers made their escape, although only a few actually galloped off. Most were chatting with their friends. Probably gossip, no doubt. I got off the bench and stepped a little closer, trying to find Sparkler.

Eventually, I spotted her coming outside. She was levitating a little book in front of her, looking through it before placing it in her saddlebags. Other ponies brushed past her as she made her way from the school back home. 

I watched her go, beginning my approach when she wasn’t surrounded by other teens.  “Er, hey!” I called out after her, waving.

She gave a small start, but quickly turned to see me. “Oh—uh, hey!” She gave me a welcoming smile as she trotted up. “'Sup, Miss Lyra?” Eugh. I know she was trying to be polite, but I really didn't like being called 'Miss'; made me feel old. 

It didn’t stop me from putting on a warm smile though. “Just wanted to catch you and give you something by way of  thanks for helping me out the other day.”

Sparkler blinked. “Oh. I just gave you directions, you don't have to do anything for that.”

“There was also the spitball in my mane.” I scowled a little.  “That took a while to completely wash out.” At one point, I had Bon Bon rinse my mane with the garden hose. Except the water was too powerful and I ended up smacking my head against the side of the house.

“Ew.” Sparkler frowned, looking at something behind me. I peered around to see that she was frowning at the pony that caused the whole spitball situation: Velvet Cushion. “Sorry about her. She's a bit of a stuck up nag.”

“It's school.” I shrugged. There really wasn’t much I could do about her. “What can you do?” I stopped, considering something that at least Sparkler could do.  “Well, except revenge pranking, I guess.”

“Read my mind.“ An evil, plotting grin flashed upon her face. “I'll find something nice and slimy to put in her saddlebags tomorrow.”

Ooo, I liked the way she thought. “As long you get away with it.”

“It's kind of a standoff at this point,” she explained, keeping an eye on the stuck up mare as she went by in the distance. “She'll probably suspect me, but I've gotten to the point where she can't prove it.” 

“The best kind of position, I'd say. You can just laugh as you watch her get frustrated.” One of the main things you have to get right when being a prankster is the reaction of your target. Sometimes it’s better that they know you pranked them, especially if they know they can’t get their revenge. 

“Exactly.” She tore her eyes from that mule and looked back to me. “So, what's up?”

“Well, I'll entreat you to treat you with a treat!” I exclaimed, then froze, looking around frantically. 

Sparkler leant her head back, giving me a weirded out look. “Or something like that.”

I shivered, wondering what the hay came over me. “Could've sworn Pinkie just entered my system, what with that sentence.” With what she’s like, that honestly wouldn’t have surprised me.

Eugh. Now I’m getting the image of Pinkie coming out of my mouth. Thanks, brain.

Sparkler hastily checked her surroundings, ears twitching. “Don't summon her!”

“Eh, she's not so bad.” Okay, so Pinkie can get too excitable at times, but that’s just who she is. Her optimism and desire to cheer up anypony she could was very admirable, in my opinion. “I was planning to get you a cupcake anyways.”

“Oh. Cool. Well—thanks, I guess.” 

I wiggled my lips. She sounded a little unsure, but I suppose the prospect of going to Pinkie HQ could have unsettled anypony. Or maybe she just felt a little bad that I was buying her something. If that was the case, then she was a silly filly. 

“C'mon, my treat to you,” I told her, then began to set the pace.

She followed my lead, grinning. “I appreciate it!” I was about to say ‘no problem’ or something, when she changed the topic. “So, you coming back for another lesson sometime?”

I stuck out my tongue and retched. No. No no. A million times no. “Eugh. Don't make me laugh. Teaching? Not my thing.”

“Really? You did pretty good.” Hah! She did better at the lying game than Applejack, but still, that was painfully obvious. It was a nice lie though, so, I could forgive her for that.

“Pretty good at sucking.” I shrugged. It still kind of stung how badly I was received, but it wasn’t a complete loss. “I cut my losses and moved on. It's all experience, right?”

“Exactly! You learn what not to do, and how not to do it,” Sparkler replied with a sage nod. 

“Something like that, I guess.” I shrugged, then changed the conversation before it got stale. “Y'know, it's funny how we never spoke before at length. I am pretty good friends with your godmom, after all.”

Ever since we met at the bowling alley, Rainbow Dash and I were part-time pranking buddies. I say part-time, since now that she’s hooked up with Pinkie, she spends a lot more time with her. Not that I mind; it’s cute. Still, I maintain that it was totally Rainbow Dash’s fault that our first prank together on Kicky failed. It would’ve been perfect: fooling Cloud into thinking Rainbow got pregnant. But how in the hay was I supposed to know that Rainbow last saw her six months or so ago? Besides, can’t really blame me for not doing much. I was the planner!

Sparkler’s eyes went wide, but quickly relaxed. “You and Rainbow go way back? No kidding?”

“When I first moved to Ponyville, yeah. I was bowling at the alley, doing pretty good, and—well, you know what she's like.” I grinned triumphantly and puffed out my chest a little.

“Oooh Luna...” Sparkler took in a deep breath and continued, “How many re-re-re-re-re-re-re-re-rematches did she demand?”

I snickered. Okay, that did sound like Rainbow. “Quite a lot. In the end, we settled on us both being equally awesome.”

Sparkler snorted, smirking. “Yeah, sure sign she got her flank handed to her on a platter.” She paused, probably for dramatic effect or something. “Repeatedly.”

“Well, this kind of helps.” I raised a forehoof and cast my magic hands. I have to give credit where it’s due; Rainbow did very well for having hooves. But hands were far more dexterous.

Sparkler came to a stop, examining my hand intently. “Whoa...”

I chuckled. Almost everypony has a similar reaction to them. “Yep. Hands.”

“Handy.” I laughed again as she stepped closer to inspect the hand. This girl seriously had wit. Far more so than myself. 

When she got closer, I gave her a little boop on the muzzle with my index finger. That’s the finger next to the thumb, by the way. Upon being booped, Sparkler scrunched up her muzzle and stepped back. “Guess that makes sense, with those weird little holes the balls come with.”

“I heard bowling started as a Minotaur sport,” I said, dispelling my hands.

Sparkler blinked. “Huh. Guess that makes sense.”

“Mhm. I guess we just spruced it up a bit, but the holes stayed.” I heard the claim while I was in college. Apparently, way back when, minotaurs chiseled rocks to be spheres and put holes in them so they could bowl. Instead of bowling pins though, they used the bones of their dead enemies. 

I don’t think they do that anymore.

“Weird,” Sparkler replied, shaking her head. 

By this time, we had reached Sugarcube Corner. I stepped in first and surveyed the scene. Only a few ponies were in today and none of them I knew particularly well. I spotted a free table for Sparkler and me as we approached the counter.

Mr. Cake stood behind it, giving us a welcoming smile. “Let me guess: in for a batch of mint cookies?” he asked me.

“Mmmm...” I licked my lips. Chocolate chips are good, but mint chips are... mmmm... “Tempting... but...” I managed to tear my head from Mr. Cake to look at Sparkler. “I'm here for Sparkler.”

Mr. Cake nodded and directed his attention to her. “What can we get for you today?”

“Whatever Sparkler's favorite is, I guess,” I suggested.

Sparkler tapped her chin, pondering. “Cupcakes on the menu today?”

As if on cue—she did say cupcakes—Pinkie Pie poked her head around the corner from the kitchen. “Cupcakes are always on the menu, you silly filly!”

The two of us stared at her, puzzled. Not because she was Pinkie, but because there was a large, dripping, red streak on her cheek. “Hi, um, Miss Pinkie... you kinda got something on your...” Sparkler said, motioning towards Pinkie’s cheek.

When she got closer, I could see that it definitely wasn’t blood. Huh... Pinkie bleeding. That’s actually a pretty unnerving thought.

“Er, yeah... is that frosting?” I asked.

Suddenly, her tongue zipped out and began licking the red stuff off her face. I was a little impressed and terrified—her tongue was huge. “Cherry juice! We had a big order that asked for the Cheery Cherry Cake, and getting the jar of cherries open was...” She smiled sheepishly, her tongue escaping to lick a final bit of juice away. “Tasty.”

Mr. Cake grumbled. Rather grumblingly, I might add. “Four jars, Pinkie.”

“Cherries are like wine—great for cooking and baking!” Hm. I wonder if Pinkie and Berry have ever baked together. Or, even worse, gotten drunk together?

Hmmm... nah. The town’s still intact.

“Sometimes you even need to add them to the recipe,” Pinkie added, nodding with confidence.

I giggled at her and her odd ways. “Silly Pinkie. You got Sparkler's favorite in stock?”

Pinkie’s eyes looked up and she put on her ‘thinking face.’ That being her lips pouted and wiggling about while she goes ‘Hmmmmmmm...’ “I've never tried to make a muffin/cupcake before....”

“Just a cupcake's fine, Miss Pinkie.” Eugh. Still hated that ‘Miss’ prefix. I think Pinkie would be the most hilarious old pony, though.

“Standard cupcake. Fair enough.” Knowing what the price of that was, I placed a couple of bits on the table. Mr. Cake swiftly swiped them up and put out a few cupcakes in their place. The moment they appeared, Sparkler started drooling.

“Ooooh, chocolate with vanilla icing,” Sparkler said, wiping a little drool from her mouth.

Mr. Cake gently nudged Pinkie, who shot up straight and began wandering into the kitchen, thinking out loud. “What would that be? A muffincake? A cuffin? How would a pony even bake that?”

Hay if I knew, Pinkie, but you’re the only pony in the world that could make it happen.

Mr. Cake applied face to hoof, sighing. “My kitchen... again...” He gave the both of us an apologetic look. “Sorry, but I need to make sure she doesn’t start experimenting again.” Geeze, I remember the last time Pinkie experimented. Things got... sticky. 

After Mr. Cake lamented over the prospects of Pinkie’s results, he briskly followed her as Sparkler and I headed to an empty table.

“Makes you wonder what damage Pinkie is going to cause,” I said, shuffling into the seat cushion.

Sparkler shrugged, placing the cupcakes in front of her. “Mom already set fire to it, so it's not like Miss Pinkie could do any worse.”

I saw my chance to steer the conversation towards what I had intended from the very beginning. “Heh, sounds like her. Speaking of...” I tapped the table absentmindedly. “I need to talk to her. When is she free?”

Sparkler was currently in the middle of enjoying her cupcakes when she glanced up to answer my question. “Mom? Wha fuu?” she mumbled, then swallowed her mouthful. “Sorry—I mean, what for?”

“Just advice on being a working mare.” I couldn’t think of anypony better to ask. Well, there was Bon Bon, but I knew how she worked. She seemed to flow so easily from work mode, into relaxation. Only sometimes did it get stressful and when that happened, I was there.

Derpy, on the other hoof, had two kids to care for, as well as a busy job with no special somepony of her own to help her. Goddess, I hoped that Kicky’s banging arrangement with her would develop into something more. For both their sakes. Regardless, Derpy would be the one pony to ask for help in how to get acquainted with a working lifestyle.

Clearly Sparkler agreed, nodding. “She'd be the pony to go to, then. I dunno how Mom juggles things so smoothly sometimes.”

“Exactly,”  I replied, leaning forward. “That’s what I want to know.”

“I can tell ya already that sticking with stuff you don't like to do will be part of it. I don't like homework, but...” She gestured to her saddlebags. Yeesh. Homework. I remember that. It sucked.

I frowned a tad. Work was something I had to do, not a jolly hobby to pass the time. “Yeah. It might take me a while to get used to that.” My frown relaxed and I got back on track. “So, when's the best time to see her?”

“Afternoon, usually when school's out.” Sparkler glanced up, checking out the clock on the wall opposite her. “She's probably walking Dinks home from school right now, unless Tool Time needs her for another long haul delivery.“ She raised a hoof and I waited as she ate another cupcake. “Doubt it, though--unless it's a very important package, he's usually pretty good about advance notice.”

“Hm, cool, thanks. I'll see her at some point.” It seemed a bit forward to go home with Sparkler already. Besides, I had already taken enough of her time as it was.

Sparkler wiped her mouth with a napkin. “Just make sure you're in the mood for muffins.”

I chuckled, resting against the table. “Don't worry, I will.” Looking at Sparkler, I did a double take. Her mane was... remarkably similar to mine. “Hm... Nice mane.”

Sparkler stopped, cupcake currently in her mouth. “Um.. 'anksh?”

Okay, I probably shouldn’t have placed such a random compliment out in the open like that. I had to follow this up, or I’d look like an idiot.

“Heh. You're a good kid. Not like every other teenager in Equestria.” 

Sparkled swallowed and snickered quietly. “Now you're just buttering me up.”

“Pfft.” I waved a hoof.  “I mean it.”

“Ah, c'mon. Just 'cause I'm not all wrapped up in the drama of who's seeing whom in school and stuff doesn't make me some kind of special case.” For a moment, I wondered if she was an adult in a teen’s body. Puberty seems to cause the body to release some weird chemical that makes teenagers constantly fuss about themselves and their reputation. It seemed Sparkler was immune.

“One might say it makes you better than them,” I quipped.

Sparkler smiled sheepishly, blushing very slightly. She fumbled for a bit, probably trying to come up with a suitable reply to my compliment. When she couldn’t think of anything, she started to squirm and stuff another cupcake in her mouth. I laughed and watched her intently, grinning like a madmare. That just made her fidget more. 

Sparkler downed another cupcake then reached for another. Her hoof only grabbed air. She blinked a couple times, then tried to play it cool. “Heh. Thanks, I guess.”

“Don't worry about it. Just enjoy it while you can, 'cause sooner or later, we'll start flinging insults at each other.” If you trip and hurt your leg, a friend will do their best to soothe your pain. But a best friend will laugh and call you an idiot.

Again, she had no response to that. Well, not one in words anyway. She stuck out her tongue at me and gave me a raspberry. Of course, I couldn’t let that go unchallenged, so I fought back with an even bigger raspberry. So she raspberried harder. So did I. 

We only stopped when we saw the looks the other ponies around were giving us.

Sparkler laughed awkwardly and tossed the cupcake wrappings in a nearby bin. “Thanks again for the snack.”

“Just repaying your kindness.” I glanced around. Ponies were still giving us odd looks, murmuring between themselves. Damn it, I could feel my cheeks getting warm.  “Now, I've probably held you up long enough.”

Sparkler stood up and gave me a sly smirk. “Now you're getting all melodramatic. Seriously, I just showed you where the classroom was.”

Damn. Now she had turned the tables on me. I struggled to reply. “Well sometimes I like to be a bit melodramatic so...” Er. What else to say. Erm. Er. “Nyaaaah!”

Okay, I don’t think that was witty as it could’ve been. I certainly don’t think that shaking my head like a madmare helped, either.

“‘Nyaaah,’ to you.” Sparkler giggled, then looked over at Mr. Cake, who was back at the counter. “Thanks for the cupcakes, Mr. Cake!”

“And thank you for the business!” he shot back with a smile. 

My ears twitched. I could hear somepony else.

“Do I use super glue to stick them together, or tape?” I heard a high-pitched gasp. Yep. That was Pinkie alright. “I know! A blowtorch!”

Mr. Cake went still for a moment, then, a sudden burst of energy filled his body as he galloped into the kitchen. “Pinkie!! NO!!”

I’ll let you know if Sugarcube Corner burns down.

Sparkler began to edge towards the door, but I wasn’t letting her go without a normal goodbye. Well, fairly normal.  “I'll see you later, nyaaaaaah!”

“See you then, nyaaaah!” We both shared a giggle and waved at each other before she left. I could definitely see us becoming good friends in the future. So what if she was a teenager, she was a clever teenager; we both had the wit to make good verbal spars. 

I sat there for a while, smiling contently. I think it took me a couple to ask myself what the hay I was still doing there before I left for home.





I gave it a couple days before heading to Derpy’s, during which Sparkler and I got to know each other better. 

Derpy’s house looked pretty homey from outside—and considering the mare who lived inside, I was surprised it was still standing. I went up to the front door and rapped my hoof on it a couple times. A few seconds later, I heard the sound of tiny hooves thump along to the door. I saw the door handle jiggle in place before the door swung open.

“Hi!”

I looked down and nearly suffered a cardiac arrest. Dinky. Oh my Goddess, Dinky. She was looking up at me, with her adorable little eyes and that delightful, innocent smile. I actually had to remind myself that I was here for Derpy and not her daughter. “Hi, Dinky. Is your mom around?”

Dinky nodded quickly. “Yah-huh! Mommy's cleanin' up, but you can still come in. C'mon!” She turned and I followed her in. I walked like a normal pony. Dinky bounced. It nearly gave me a heart attack, but I didn’t mind. If Dinky killed me with her cuteness, I’d actually blame myself for not preparing for such an adorableness overload. 

“Hi Mommy! Somepony's here to see you!” Dinky cheered. I was a little surprised she didn’t refer to me by name, but we hadn’t talked much before anyway. 

Wait. That meant I had no immunity to her cuteness.

I was doomed.

Derpy, who was currently scrubbing a cooking pan or something, turned to see me. “Oh—hey! Come on in!” There was a pause. “Oh. I guess you did.”

I giggled and gave her a little wave. “Yeah, hi, Derpy.”

“Go ahead and grab something from the icebox if you want it,” Derpy said, pointing towards said icebox. “Take a seat, I'm almost done here.”

“Oh, right. Thanks!” I wandered over and searched through the icebox. It had the usual: milk, vegetables, apple juice. But two items piqued my interest: cider was on the upper shelves, most likely so Dinky couldn’t get a hold of it. My gaze lingered over the bottles longer than it should have. But, c’mon, am I the only one who thinks getting drunk with Derpy would be a blast?

Another time, Lyra. You came here for work related reasons. This is business. I looked at the second item of interest. What else could it have been? Muffins. Muffins galore. I took hold of a couple muffins with my magic and headed to Derpy’s living room, sitting myself on the couch. The sound of dinky hooves behind me meant that the adorable little scamp herself was following me.

Heh. Dinky’s dinky hooves.

She hopped up onto the couch and sat beside me. I took a bite into my snack, then let out a satisfied hum. Why doesn’t Derpy just open up her own muffin business?

“Do you like 'em? I hope so, 'cause I helped make 'em!” Dinky chirped.

I nodded, finishing my mouthful. “Mmmm...” I began, rubbing my belly and looking content. “These are delicious!”

Dinky beamed up at me, looking very pleased with herself. “Thanks!” I imagine that Derpy did most of the baking, while Dinky added some ingredients. Still, I could tell that her love had been put into them. 

I thought now would be the best time for us to get better acquainted. “I’m Lyra, by the way.”

Dinky’s smile didn’t disappear. “I know!”

I stopped and let out a deep breath through my nose. That was pointless. “Ah... okay.” Thankfully, I’m not sure she detected the awkward levels, so I moved on. “Where’s Sparkler?”

She grimaced. Celestia, even that looked adorable. “She’s at Ratchet’s.” Then her little tongue stuck out. “Probably getting cooties or something.”

Ooo. Sparkler had a coltfriend? It took me awhile to connect the dots, but he must have been that colt she had her eye on when I went to her school. I made a mental note to talk to her about that as I relaxed against the back of the couch. “She must be immune to cooties.”

Dinky titled her head. “Maybe. But they’re still cooties, an’ cooties are yucky.”

That actually made me think to back when I was her age. I don’t think I ever hated cooties then. Instead, I was dreaming of finding that stallion Prince to whisk me away to his castle. That was, until I realized I was a fillyfooler, which didn’t happen instantly. It was a gradual process that finished by the time I was in my early teens.

I kept nibbling on the muffins while Dinky observed. “Everypony loves Mommy’s muffins! My Godmom does, an’ Sparky, an’ Cloud, an’...”

I tuned out as Dinky listed off almost everypony she knew. Why did the link between Kicky and muffins seem so apparent? I chewed slowly, mulling it over. 

Then it hit me: for Cloud, ‘muffin’ was a euphemism she had used before when we banged. 

I gripped the couch as I desperately tried not to retch or choke on my own muffi—oh sweet Celestia! No, I didn’t mean it like that! Gaaah!!

To my relief, Derpy soon finished up, drying her hooves, getting her own snacks and coming to the couch with glasses of milk for each of us. As soon as she settled down with us, Dinky wiggled up to her and Derpy wrapped her forelegs around her. They both gave each other a loving smile , and seeing that made me smile too. Looking at them together like that, I could understand why Derpy did what she did.

“Sorry about the wait,” she apologised, shuffling a bit so she and Dinky could get comfortable.

I felt a little bad, actually. Derpy was busy enough as it was and now I was just cutting into her time. “It's fine. Sorry I came at a busy time.”

Derpy waved it off. “It's no trouble.” For a moment, we both ate our muff—snacks—while Dinky eagerly drank her milk. “What brings you by?”

Dinky lowered her glass, revealing a milk moustache. “Knockin'! ‘cause she was at the door, an' I let her in, an' then—”

Derpy interrupted her, speaking in a gentle, but chastising voice. “Muffin, it's not polite to interrupt.”

Dinky’s ears lowered slightly. “Sorry.” 

“Aaaw...” I was surprised I had gone on this long without letting that slip. Once Dinky was back to drinking, I put my focus back on Derpy. “I want to know how... er... how you do it, really. Be a mother and a hard worker all at once.”

A bubbly giggle escaped from Derpy. “You say that like the two terms don't coincide.”

Well, I never thought that they did. “It's just ... it’s a lot of work, isn't it?” 

Derpy nodded at me and explained, “Just being a mother is a full-time job.” She stole a quick pause to eat her muffin (I will get used to saying that again).  “If I'm honest, a big part of why I made it this far is luck. I have the right job in the right town, and the right friends.”

“Even so, there must be a method to your madness.” I sighed, deciding that the only way I’d get my answers would be if  was honest with her. “I'm trying to enter the world of work but...” The next part took a small while for me to say. “I don't think I'm really equipped for it.”

Derpy nodded again, but I could tell she was deep in thought. She glanced down at Dinky and gave her a nice nuzzle. “Muffin, could you go get started on your spelling homework?”

A small whine came from her. “But I wanted'ta do reading first!”

“We'll do reading later,” Derpy told her. Dinky was about to protest, but her mother beat her to the punch. “Go on, Dinky.”

Dinky let out a little huff and jumped off the couch, pouting. “Fiiiiiiine.” Reluctantly, she picked up her saddlebags from the floor and waddled over to the kitchen table to get started.

“There. That'll give us a little privacy.” She cleared her throat before continuing. “You're only as equipped as you let yourself be, Lyra. A big part of any job revolves around how willing you are to adapt, learn, and stick with it.”

“I'm not really adaptable,” I mumbled, sinking my teeth into the muffin I still had. 

“Ooh, that's another part: attitude. If you don't let yourself think you can do something, you're not going to do it,” Derpy said, in a motherly tone. I grunted in response, still eating. 

Derpy then pondered, casting an eye over at Dinky, who was doing what she was told. Then, she looked back to me. “Can you keep a secret?”

I stopped eating and nodded. “'Course I can.”

Derpy inclined her head towards her filly. “A few months after she was born, after the magic wore off and the responsibilities really started coming down on me, I didn't think I could do it either. Being her mother seemed like the greatest thing in the world when she was born. Well, after I'd finished giving birth.” A small grin revealed itself on her face. Suffice to say, I was a little shocked.  Foalbirth was not something I was ever prepared to go through. How could anypony joke about something so painful?!

I guess Derpy could see the confusion on my face, since the grin faded slightly and she carried on. “But then things settled in. Two AM feedings, three AM feedings, collick, days when I couldn't find a foalsitter for her...”

I shuffled a bit closer to her. Sure, things were better for her now clearly, but feedings as early as that?! I felt a little guilty for not being there for her. I could’ve been really, since I knew Kicky and Rainbow and both of them were with Derpy a lot during the time. “So what did you do?”

“I went through it anyway. I knew there were ponies who could take care of her, maybe a little better than I could; the Cakes wanted a foal even back then, and Cloud mentioned once or twice that a few ponies in her clan were looking to adopt.” Derpy took a sip of her milk, then blinked and snapped back to the conversation. “Off-hoofedly, mind you, I doubt she was encouraging me to give my foal away.” She relaxed and continued to drink. I didn’t think Kicky would have condoned such an action anyway. 

Derpy removed the glass from her lips to take in a breath, then tapped the glass absentmindedly as she went on. “But... those months I carried her, I'd settled here, started building things up to have a life with her, and when things got hard I told myself that I could do it better than Celestia herself. It's idealistic, I know, but trying makes all the difference.”

My eyes fluttered a couple times. “So... you were just optimistic? That's your big secret?”

“Goodness no,” she quickly replied. “Wishful thinking only goes so far—a bigger part of it was working through the grind and finding ways to cope with it.”

I think I was beginning to understand what she was on about now. “It's more willpower, then?”

“Willpower, with a healthy dose of commitment. I was tired almost every night for years, but I had a foal to provide for. So I did.” I took a small sip as I watched her think. “Some ponies just let their foals raise themselves. There's always room for helping hooves, but at some point you just stop being a good parent.” She shook her head. “I didn't want to be like that.”

“Mhm.” I drank my milk, just mulling over what she said. “It's a lot to think about...”

I knew that in practice, this would be really hard for me. Giving up on college didn’t exactly give me the best track record, did it? And, above all, I hated failure; that was going to be inevitable in my quest.

“I'm probably making it sound worse than it is. There's a lot of work, yeah, but the payoff makes it all worthwhile. For me, it was coming home to see Dinky smile and scramble to me every afternoon. For you?” She shrugged at me. “Who knows?”

Well, that was one of the few things I knew for sure. I looked her in the eyes, determined. “Making Bon Bon happy.”

Derpy nodded pointedly. “There's a goal right there, then. Not the endgame, but a good starting point to work towards.”

“My endgame has always been making her happy.” Why wouldn’t that be my endgame? I love her, with all of my being. Bon Bon is my endgame.

“Why?”

I snorted, thinking that it should’ve been clear to see. “She's the love of my life. Isn't it obvious?”

Derpy finished off her milk, then gave me a slightly challenging look. “Humor me. Why is making her happy so important to you?” 

“I refer you to my previous statement.” I covered up my annoyed grumbling by finishing off my drink too.

“It's more than that. It's because you think she wants, or even needs, to see you improve yourself—and if that's what's important to her, it's important to you.” She prodded me lightly in the chest, then fell silent, waiting for my response.

I looked down. I guess what she was getting at was why I was doing this for myself. From the start, I knew I had to do this for Bon Bon’s sake but I never considered my own. Now that Derpy had made me realise that, all sorts of thoughts flooded my mind. 

Truth be told, I wasn’t happy with my current situation. All of my friends work. I don’t. That leaves a huge gap in my days where I’m alone. Music passes the time, yeah, but sometimes I play things that make me feel even more alone. And that isn’t even taking into account the boredom. 

This... this wasn’t what I had envisioned for myself when I was younger. Hay, I didn’t imagine this even in college. I was working towards being a musical star in Canterlot. But that dream crumbled before my eyes and I ran here.

My hooves were empty, much to my disappointment. “... well, yeah. I need to be all I can possibly be for her.” I paused, then added quietly, “And for myself.”

“Then tell yourself that the next time you think you can't do something.” Derpy wrapped a wing around my shoulders and brought me close. “I think it'll help.”

“Mhm.” Come to think of it, I never had really encouraged myself all that much. I remember Rainbow once saying that there was a difference between knowing you can do something, and telling yourself that you can. I guess that’s why she has such a big ego. But, hey, it seems to work for her. Why not me? Not that I’d be as arrogant as she is, of course.

“... yeah.” I smiled as the realisation settled in. I could do this.  “Yeah!” I got off the couch and stood up tall, my chest puffed out as I exclaimed, “I can do this! For my lover!”

I heard a childish giggle from the kitchen and then it came to me that I was standing a ridiculously heroic pose. I slunk back to the couch next to Derpy, bringing a pillow to my face. 

Derpy was just grinning at me, half proud and half trying not to laugh. “Now that's a start.”

I opened my mouth to speak, but words came out as awkward laughs. “Heh heh, er, heh... um... “ I coughed and tried again. “Maybe a bit too energetic though.”

Derpy kept a smile on her face. “I won't tell anypony.”

“Heh, thanks.” With that cleared up, we could go on to more casual conversation. “Sparkler's a great kid, by the way.”

Derpy beamed, full of maternal pride. I wasn’t going to fault her for it either. “I know.”

“Yeah, she has a pretty good head on her shoulders. Unlike most ponies her age,” I said.

Derpy nodded in agreement. I leaned forward as her lips parted, ears perked and listening to the sage before me and ready to receive her words of wisdom:

“Do you hear water running?”

I moved my ears a little, trying to listen out for it. Surely enough, I could hear a small waterfall coming from the kitchen. 

And then came the surprised squeak. “Mommy! You left the sink on again!”

“AAAACKPT!” Derpy immediately leapt into action, barreling into the kitchen. I rushed after her, although I wasn’t nearly as fast. 

When I arrived, I saw Dinky perched on the table, eyeing the pool of water that had gathered underneath. Derpy tromped through the flood and pulled the plug in the sink, turning that off and then desperately scrambling for a few washcloths to soak up the water. She didn’t have nearly have enough and she knew that, shooting a look at me. 

“Towels—bathroom closet—hurry!”

I swiveled my body to go, then stopped myself before I took any step further. “Where's the bathroom closet?!” I was panicking, she was panicking, the whole situation was a clusterbuck. 

“In the bathroom!” Derpy yelled, doing her best to mop up the mess.

I took off to go, then halted again. “Where's the bathroom?!” 

She flailed a hoof in a random direction, aimed past me. “At the end of the hall!”

Now that I was sure of where I was going, I took off like a bat out of Tarturus, screaming all the way. “Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!”

When I got to the door, I had to stop myself from kicking the thing down. I swung the door open and galloped inside. I soon found the bathroom closet and took everything I possibly could with my magic. Then I hastily returned to the kitchen, where the situation had gotten little better.

So, of course, that’s when it got worse.

“I’ve got them! I’ve got—” I felt my hoof slip against the kitchen tiles and I slammed down onto my front. Due to the water and the momentum from my fall, I ended up sliding across the kitchen, my flank and hindlegs flailing in the air madly. My face welcomed the kitchen cupboards, the washed up plates atop rattling due to the collision. Finally, my bottom half decided it would rejoin the ground. Hard.

During my slide, I had dropped the towels, so Derpy speedily took them and started mopping up. Now that she had the resources, she began to enter a practiced rhythm. 

Meanwhile, I was rubbing my head, groaning. “Eugh...” 

As I was getting up, the plate that just had to be, y’know, precariously half off the edge, fell down onto my head. I felt it smack against my head, then smash into pieces. I fell back down, thinking that maybe if I lied low, nothing else bad would happen to me.

Dinky had seen the whole spectacle from the table. “You a'kay, Miss Lyra?”

I rubbed my head, thankful that my minty fresh mane would cover the bruises I’d no doubt receive. “Eugh... I'll be fine...” I moaned.

“Argh! Sorry!” Derpy flew over, looking through my mane for any bleeding. Judging by how she next picked up the pieces of the broken plate, I think I was okay. “Are you sure? I could give you some painkillers?” she frantically asked.

I kept to the ground, shaking my head. “Just knocked my noggin’, is all.”

“Mommy does that a lot. You're a'kay.” Dinky peered down, biting her lip. “I'll give you a get-better hug later.”

Okay, I had heard of these legendary ‘get-better hugs’ and I could’ve sure as hay used one right now. “Why wait?”

Dinky remained steadfast in her safe position. “'Cuz there's water.”

“Muffin, water can't catch fire,” Derpy reminded her, as she went back to mopping up the floor.

“Cereal can.”

Wait, what?

Derpy glanced around. Nope. No cereal here. I think I would’ve known during my collision if a couple bran flakes entered my mouth. “There's no cereal down here.”

I leant back against the cupboard, blinking. “Er... 'kay.”

Derpy stole a quick look at me while she scrubbed the floor. “Long story.”

Dinky nodded, cheerfully adding. “Four of 'em!”

I rubbed my head, currently pounding. “Uh... another time then, I guess.”

I think that if I was going to spend time with the Doos, I’d live a lot more crazy stories myself. 





After my talk with Derpy, I was finally ready to make a real stab at finding a job. But first, I needed to write out my résumé. Before that though, came something far more important. 

Berry’s drinking night.

She had arranged this one a couple days after I had visited the Doo household, which worked fine for me and Bons. In some ways, these nights reminded me of the days when Bon Bon still worked at the Sun’s Flank: I’d get drunk, while Bon Bon stayed relatively sober and made sure I got home in one piece. Sounds like an unfair deal, but the one thing you should know about me is that I’m a lovey drunk, so I think Bons always enjoyed the loving I gave her when I got hammered.

We came to Berry’s place at roughly eight in the evening. Bon Bon made her usual batch of sweets for this occasion, which I held aloft with my magic. Both of us were grinning, although Bons’ was less pronounced than mine was. But that’s just how we were.

I stole a quick kiss, the first of many tonight, at my marefriend’s cheek as she knocked on the door. A couple moments later, Berry opened it and welcomed us in.

“Got the candy?” Berry asked as she led us to her ‘drinking room.’

I shook the box a little. “Right here. Got the booze?”

Berry looked back to give me a sly smirk. “Always.” She led us through the kitchen, then turned right, taking us into a fairly spacious room with a large, wooden table in the center. On the walls were diamond shaped shelves to hold wine bottles, of which there were many. Yet this wasn’t even half of Berry’s stash. 

Colgate was already sitting down and gave us a wave as we entered. Of course, she would’ve been exactly on time. Chances were high Berry wasn’t even ready yet by the time she arrived. Bon Bon sat next to her and I sat besides my fillyfriend. Berry placed herself next to Colgate, who began shuffling the deck of cards.

Yep. We were gonna have ourselves some good ol’ fashioned poker. The stakes weren’t all too high, since we were all friends, but it was still pretty exhilarating. And it’s hilarious when you flush somepony out and they lose all their winnings. Everypony here was pretty much evenly matched at the game, although Colgate could be considered the worst; she was often the dealer and didn’t play all too much. And despite us being a couple, Bons and I didn’t play together to make things fair. 

Bon Bon made herself comfortable, then looked at the other two. “So, how are you two?”

Colgate didn’t take her eyes off the cards, still shuffling them. “No complaints here.”

“Me neither,” Berry answered, upon which there was a knock on the door. “I’ll get it.” 

Shortly after Berry went to the door, our next competitor for the evening entered the scene: Cheerilee. “Hello everypony, I hope you’re all doing well,” she greeted us, sitting in the chair next to Berry. Cheerilee wasn’t a regular of our drinking nights, most likely due to the fact that she’s a teacher, but she joined us on occasion.

“Doing just great,” Colgate spoke for us all. 

“I’m looking forward to tonight’s shenanigans,” Berry said, pouring herself a glass of wine. Figures she’d start drinking this early. “Carrot Top can’t make tonight’s session, though. Something to do with her vegetables, or something.” Berry shrugged. “I wasn’t really listening.”

Well, that was disappointing. Probably more so for Bons than me.  Carrot Top was often the other ‘sane mare’ of the group and somepony Bon Bon could talk to when the rest of us got too rowdy. 

“That’s a shame. I hope she’s doing okay,” Bons said. I gave her a little nuzzle, which she quickly returned. 

“So, to remedy that, I got us another competitor,” Berry announced, grinning. The three of us leant forward, eagerly anticipating her reveal. “Tonight’s gonna be a pretty easy game for us, ladies, ‘cause I managed to get Applejack to come and play with us.”

I sank back in my chair, swallowing the lump that had formed in my throat. Applejack, plus me, plus drinking equals... something that probably should have never happened. Okay, let me explain before I get too flustered. 

When Kicky first came to Ponyville, we went to the Sun’s Flank for a good night out. I mean ‘we’ as in me, Kicky, Applejack and Rainbow Dash. Now, at some point, Berry came along and challenged us to drinking contest. How could we refuse? Actually, Kicky wandered off, but that doesn’t matter. Point is, me, Applejack and Rainbow Dash got hammered. And as I’ve said earlier, I’m a lovey drunk, so  Applejack and I did end up kissing right in the middle of the Sun’s Flank. Bons then came along and took us home and that’s when things escalated.

I remember Bon Bon dropping me off at my house, scowling a little. Probably because she had two drunken mares to deal with. “Goodnight, Lyra,” she told me pointedly, opening my front door. 

I stumbled inside, then swung around to look at them both. My drunken mindset was probably still demanding loving, but also knew that Bons wouldn’t give me it. So that left Applejack, and I already knew she didn’t mind smooching me. 

“Hey, Bonsh... you’ve worked really, really hard today, sho, let Applejack stay here, yeah?” I reasoned. It was actually pretty solid reasoning, in my opinion.

Bon Bon dwelled over the matter, peering at the both of us. Sweet Apple Acres was a long walk from my place and I don’t think she was prepared to deal with that. “Fine, that works.”

Applejack waddled in, her hat at an angle. “Well, thank ya kindly for your hosh... hoshpa...” Her brows furrowed as she grumbled. “For yer kindess. Shtupid fancy talk...”

I stared out, waving. “Bye Bonsh! I’ll shee ya later!”

Applejack nudged me in the shoulder. “Er, Lyra?” 

I didn’t turn my head, still waving and smiling widely. “Yesh?”

“You’re waving at a door.”

I did a double take, rubbing my eyes. True to her word, the door was shut and Bon Bon was long gone. “Oh.”

I heard a thump behind me. I swayed on my hooves and shuffled around, spotting Applejack in a heap on the floor. “Lyra, I love what you’ve done with the place, but this houshe wash’n’t built to earth pony standards. The floor’sh all shaky.”

“No it’sh not. You’re just being silly.” I took a hoof forward and it only brushed against the floor. And then my other legs bent down and soon enough, I was on my side. “Oh... maybe you’re right.”

Applejack tried to put her best hoof forward, but it just met air. Then her face met the floor. “Shee?” 

“Don’t worry... we got thish,” I reassured her.

We certainly did not have it. Not at all.

We must have been there for—what, twenty minutes? Our legs and our brains simply weren’t cooperating, resulting in a lot of tumbles. And when we did manage to stand up, one of us would just bump into the other and we’d be back on the floor. In the end, we decided to crawl across like two snails.

When we finally made it to bed, we hauled ourselves up and settled next to each other under the covers. 

“Y’know...” I started, poking Applejack’s muzzle. “We could have some real fuuuuun.”

She gave me a bemused look in response. “What, like... more of that kissin’ shtuff?” I smiled devilishly at her. “Ooo... yeah, I getcha. I can’t remember the lasht time I had fun like thish... being an Apple is great ‘n’ all, but we’re shometimes too overprotective over our kin.”

I moved closer to her, smelling her drunken, but still faintly apple, breath. “You gonna shtop talking so we can do it?”

Applejack scoffed and leant her muzzle on mine. “I reckon I will.”

What happened next was obvious.

The morning after was one of the most awkward experiences I’d ever experienced in my life. I can remember it down to every detail. Applejack’s hat on the floor, our manes completely messy, the faint smell of a rowdy bang. We were as far apart as we could possibly be, keeping the bedsheets up so that it covered our bodies. We both looked up at the ceiling, wide-eyed.

Applejack broke the silence first. “Lyra?”

I didn’t break away from my view of the ceiling. Neither did she. “Yeah...?” 

“I think...” She swallowed and nervously went on. “I think we done goofed.”

I nodded slowly. “Yeah... I think we did.”

We both agreed that it was a night of silly drunkenness and that it didn’t mean anything in the slightest. Now, we were on good terms, the whole charade behind us. Although we both kept it a complete secret. The only pony who I had told about it was Bon Bon and she understood, putting a little of the blame on herself for not taking Applejack back home. But, ultimately, it was mine and AJ’s fault. If any other member of the Apple family found out... I honestly did fear for my well-being. Geeze, if Rarity found out too...

Luckily, Applejack was a mare of her word and made a solemn vow to never tell anypony, so I think we were both safe. 

I tried to erase all thoughts of that night out of my mind, putting on a smile so that Berry wouldn’t be suspicious. “Awesome. I bet she has a terrible poker face, being the element bearer of Honesty.”

“Way to point out the obvious, Lyra,” Berry snarked. If she was being all like that with me, then I was probably in the clear.

Just then, the door started knocking. Berry raised a hoof, motioning us to wait, while she went out and let the new arrival in. I could hear the strong, sure hoofsteps of Applejack coming towards the room but I could hear something else too. Lighter, more energetic hoofsteps than the earth pony’s...

“Howdy y’all,” Applejack said as she came in. 

“Ah, h-hello, Applejack,” Cheerilee replied, quite civil, if a little hesitant. Maybe she was just hiding it, but I’d expected her to be just a bit more awkward around her. I had heard rumors that her and Big Mac were looking to hook up. 

Applejack politely tipped her hat at Cheerilee, then continued, “Hope you don’t mind, but I brought somepony else to spice up the game a little.”

My jaw dropped a little when I saw the next pony enter, but it soon turned into a bright smile. “Rainbow Dash?”

“The one and only!” she proclaimed, brushing off her chest with a hoof. She took a seat next to me and gave me a friendly punch on the shoulder. “It’s been a while. How’s things?”

Applejack took her seat next to Rainbow and Berry returned to hers while we caught up. “Pretty swell. Met your goddaughter the other day.”

“Oh yeah?” she queried. “Which one?”

“Sparkler. The cool one,” I responded with a smirk. 

“Pfft. They’re both equally cool. S’why they’re my godkids,” Rainbow said, and I could detect the hint of pride in her voice. 

“Can’t argue with that logic,” I agreed, although I did wonder why Derpy had entrusted Rainbow with such a role. I guess I could save that question for another time, though.

Berry took a sip of her wine, glancing at Colgate. “As much as your shuffling of the deck is amazing, Colgate, can we get started now?”

Colgate completely halted her actions and started to laugh sheepishly. “Er, yeah, let’s go.” 

“In that case,” Berry threw two bits onto the counter, which Colgate moved towards herself to create the pot. “Everypony put your bits in.”

Rainbow Dash wasted no time in doing so, smirking to herself. I could tell that this was going to become a very heated match, especially if Dash was a risk taker. I suspected she was, being her and all. 

Everypony put their two bits into the pot, making a total of twelve. It seems small, yeah, but the stakes always rise in games like these. And with Rainbow around, they’d be a lot higher.

“And how could I possibly forget the drinks for this evening?” Berry got off her chair and glanced at all of us. “What’ll be, ladies?”

Most of us asked for her cider, but Colgate requested the wine Berry was having. I was another exception, asking for a classic mint-tini. The stuff of Gods, that is. Our orders received, Berry went off to get them, so Dash and I got back to talking. “So, Rainbow, how have things been going along with Pinkie?”

“Oh, y’know, pretty cool.” From any other pony, you would’ve expected a more heartfelt response, but this was Rainbow we were talking about here, which meant she was incredibly easy to tease.

“Good, because you two are honestly the cutest couple in Equestria,” I reminded her. On a few occasions before, Kicky and I had teased her about the subject, resulting in an adorably embarrassed Rainbow. She’d always tell us to bug off, but that just made us stay and shower her in hugs.

“I’ll agree with that,” Bons added. “Two crazy pranksters falling in love? Sounds like one successful romance novel to me.”

“Really, guys? We’re gonna do this here?” Rainbow pouted, crossing her forelegs over her chest, sulking adorably. 

“Aw c’mon, Rainbow, ain’t no harm in a little teasin’.” Applejack nodded at us, collecting up her two cards that Colgate dealt her. While she didn’t look at her hand yet, she kept a firm hoof over it.

“Hmph. At my expense,” Rainbow grumbled, resting her cheek on her hoof and avoiding Applejack’s stare.

“Hey, when the horseshoe’s on the other hoof, you ain’t so shy towards teasing,” Applejack scolded. 

Rainbow snorted and rolled her eyes. “Whatever.” She then tossed a look Colgate’s way. “You not playing?”

Colgate shook her head and finished setting up the game for everypony. “Nah, I’ll be your dealer for today.”

“And a pretty good one at that,” Berry interjected, sitting back down and passing round the drinks. Applejack, Berry, Rainbow and I wasted no time in downing what we had, while Colgate and Bons were a little more paced. 

“Right, let’s get started,” Berry proclaimed, gesturing to my marefriend. “Put up your blind, Bon Bon.”

Bons nodded and brought a single bit to the table and added it to the pot. Since I was to her left, I had to do the same. Due to both of us putting in our blinds, it was Rainbow who got the first move. Meanwhile, Colgate had put the first three cards on the table face up. They were a six of diamonds, a five of hearts, and Celestia of spades. 

Rainbow inspected her cards, making a point to check that me or Applejack weren’t looking at her hand, then put the cards face down. “Check.” Hm. Either she was dealt bad cards, or she was better at poker than I thought. It remained to be seen.

Applejack stared at her cards for a while, which made it obvious that she was a bit of a novice. Still, like Rainbow, she checked. 

Cheerilee looked between her hand and the cards on the table several times before making her move. “I think I’ll check as well.”

Then it was Berry’s turn. With nopony raising the stakes, this round was turning out to be very boring indeed. Luckily, she tossed up a bit towards the pot. “Bet.”

Bon Bon wiggled her lips, eyeing the rest of us, then put in a single bit. “Call.” I had a suspicion that she’d be the dark pony of this game. Best keep an eye on her. 

As soon as the words left her mouth, I reacquainted myself with my hand. I had a two of hearts, which sucked, but I did have a Celestia of diamonds. I hid my grin and casually brought two bits into the pot. “I’ll go ahead and raise.”

For a brief moment, Rainbow’s eyes met mine. Her glare was a challenging one, so she grinned and tossed in three bits for the pot. “Well, Lyra, I think that sounds like an awesome idea.”

I snickered, guessing she might have done that. Her mistake. “Oh yes, I’m sure it won’t end badly for either of us.”

“Er... I’ll, um...” Applejack eyes darted around, her lips pursing about. Yeah, I think everypony could’ve foreseen this. “I’ll go ahead and call.” Another three bits to the pot.

Cheerilee shook her head, muttering to herself and putting her hand onto the table. “Fold. At least I didn’t put anything in this round.” That was true. Folding before any betting took place meant that you didn’t lose any bits, unless you had to put up the blinds for the round. 

Judging from the smirk Berry gave Applejack, she knew that she was bluffing. However, Rainbow and I were a lot harder to determine. Berry rubbed her chin, then moved her cards towards Colgate. “Not this time, I’m afraid. Fold.”

Now, with Bon Bon’s second turn came another card to the table, this time it was a Cadence of diamonds. This wasn’t looking like it was going to be an exceptional round, but it’d be the royal cards who would win the game for somepony here. Good thing I had a pair of them already.

“Call,” Bon Bon stated, putting forward another three bits. Hm... she had a solid poker face. I honestly couldn’t tell what she was planning. 

Well, it was time to up the ante. Maybe doing that would throw Bons off and deter Rainbow. I wasn’t even considering Applejack as a threat by this point. “Raise,” I said, dropping off not four bits, but five. Mmm. That pot was starting to look really appetizing now. I glanced at Bon Bon. Her face hadn’t changed, much to my annoyance. 

Rainbow, on the other hoof, just scoffed. “Alright then, we’ll play that game.” All her bits went towards the pot. Well, not all of them. Around ten or so. “All. In.”

Applejack swallowed and I could see sweat going down her face as she did the same. “Er, me too.” Good Goddess, she sucked. 

Back to Bon Bon. “Hm... not going to risk it this early.” She put her cards back, looking rather stoic. “Fold.”

Once more, it was my turn. I snickered to myself and went all in. “Let’s see if your risk pays off, Rainbow.”

“Yeah, we’ll see,” she retorted. “Get ready to scrounge bits off Bon Bon.” 

Colgate coolly revealed the last card: a Celestia of Hearts. I had this in the bag. We all turned over our cards. Shortly after, somepony stamped on the floor. 

“Aw, shoot!” It was Applejack. She looked so annoyed, I swear she was going to eat her hat.  She only got one pair, and that was with the five of hearts. 

Rainbow growled and I moved a bit closer to see her hand. She was lucky enough to get two sixes to give her a three of a kind. But, as Colgate announced, I had the superior deck. “Lyra wins with Celestia high.”

“Nicely played, Lyra,” Cheerilee commended me. “Unfortunately, I’ll have to take those winnings from you soon.”

I ignored her threat, reveling in my success. “Woo!” I cheered, as I collected the pot. All of those bits were mine! Unless I did something stupid, of course. But I knew I wouldn’t. I could see Rainbow grumbling to herself, so I patted her back. “Sorry Rainbow...” I said apologetically. Then I ruined it by cackling madly. “You were so close to beating me!”

“Yeah, yeah, shut up...” she moaned, downing her drink. 

As the game drew on and more alcohol entered our systems, casual conversation took precedence over the game. Bons, Berry, Cheerilee and Applejack were all discussing work related stuff, which left me, Rainbow and Colgate to have our own little chat.

“So, Colgate, talked more with Caramel yet?” I was curious to see if she had plucked up the courage yet. I doubted it, but maybe a little push from me was all she needed.

Colgate rubbed a foreleg, suddenly finding the pot very interesting. “Uh, yeah, a bit.”

“Er, Lyra,” Rainbow interrupted, giving me a curious look. “Who cares about Caramel? He isn’t even here!”

“Well, I do,” Colgate affirmed, glaring at Rainbow for just a second. It seemed like she was getting a whole lot more comfortable with the idea of asking him out, if she was defending him like that.

I ran a magic finger atop the rim of my glass, giving Colgate a mischievous smile. “Then maybe it’s time you became more than friends.” 

Colgate took a sip of her wine, but I could tell she was grinning like a school filly. “Maybe, yeah.”

Berry broke away from her conversation to eye Colgate suspiciously, then she gave me an unreadable look. “I’m going to get another bottle. Want something, Lyra?”

I looked at my glass. Still more than half full. I huffed and frowned at her. “I’m not planning to get too wasted tonight, Berry.”

Berry raised her hooves defensively and backed off. “Alright, fine, fine. Chill.” As she went off, I couldn’t help but feel like that was a little strange. That said, Berry knows I love to drink, so maybe she was just being a good host.

Berry had already folded this round, so the game played on. Colgate turned over the fourth card. I grinned and looked at my hand. I only had a five and seven of hearts. However! On the table was a two, four and nine of hearts. Meaning I already had a flush. I saw Bon Bon do... something. Eh. I didn’t care what move she made. I already had this in the bag.

Despite that though, I decided to string everypony along for a bit. I merely called, giving a few bits to the pot. Then I shot all my competitors a neutral look.

Rainbow Dash slammed many bits onto the table, raising a hoof in the air. “All in!” I hid a snicker by covering my mouth with my cards. She was really doing this again? Dash is such a silly pony sometimes. 

Berry came back with another wine bottle just in time to see my move again. Of course, I was going to go all in. “Well, look at that Rainbow, here we are again,” I said as I gave bits to the pot. 

Rainbow’s smug face didn’t falter, not even once. Soon, it’d come crashing down and there would be much laughter from me. Oh, how I love winning against her. 

Rainbow leant back in her chair, beaming with confidence. All the other players had folded by now, so it was just us two again. Hadn’t she learnt from last time? Colgate revealed the last card, but I didn’t care what it was. It wasn’t from the suit of hearts, but that didn’t affect my chances. 

“Get ready to eat humble pie, Rainbow.” I turned over my cards and watched as the pieces fell into place. 

Dash flipped her cards face up. I drank a bit of my cider as I checked them out.

I almost choked.

She had a flush too! I swear to Celestia, she did! But that wasn’t the shocker, oh no, the worst thing about it was that she had an ace of hearts! The demon had taken victory right under my muzzle, only because she had the highest damn card in the feathering game! Gah! Son of a mule!

“So, how’s that pie taste?” she asked me, mockingly. I grinded my teeth together and didn’t give her the benefit of an answer. The only thing I could do was watch in fury and dismay as the bits that were formerly mine went towards her. “Heh, shame Cloud’s in Cloudsdale and can’t witness me kick your sorry flank.”

Bah. I needed more drinks.





Okay, now I was drunk. And so was Rainbow. Applejack, Cheerilee and Colgate were just tipsy. Bons and Berry were the only ones who looked kinda sober.

My darling Bon Bon had managed to win a couple rounds, so she had a nice amount of bits for herself. I won a few, but nowhere near what I had. Stupid Rainbow, making me lose like that...

I dunno when the game ended. It just did. Now we were just talking ‘n’ stuff. I was leaning against my lover, giving her the occasional peck on the cheek, ‘cause she likes that, and I know that I like it a lot. I looked at Cheerilee and decided that, hey, I may as well get some solid information on those rumors I heard.

“Cheerilee.” I gave it about a second before piping up again. “Cheerileeeee!”

She glanced at me, one ear splayed out to the side. That’s a clear sign of being tipsy, by the way. I guess you knew that though. “What’s up, Lyra?”

I rubbed a hoof on the table in a circular motion, not exactly looking at her. “Are you ‘n’ Mac, like, gonna go out or somethin’?”

I saw her cheeks blush, which was kinda hard ‘cause she’s already pink. She snuck a quick glance at Applejack, before coolly trying to move her chair so she was next to me. “Well... we already are...”

Whoa. Whoa whoa whoa. Slow down. They were already a couple?! Oo, this got real good. “That’sh great!” I just had to tell everypony here and share the awesome news! “Hey! Everypony! Cheerilee and Big Mac are dating!”

Everypony slowly turned the face me, looking at me all funny. ‘Cept Cheerilee. She looked at Applejack awkwardly, then stared down at the table. Her cheeks were really red then.

“Lyra, that’s old newsh,” Rainbow Dash stated. 

I blinked a couple times, looking around at them all. “Wait, what?”

“Yeah. A couple weeks old, in fact,” Berry clarified, matter of fact like. 

I held my head and shook it a little. “Wait, wait wait... how many of you know this?”

Everypony raised their hooves.

Oh.

I slowly turned to my marefriend, who was giving me a surprised face. “You too, Bon Bon?”

She nodded. “I thought you knew, sweetie.”

“Well I didn’t...” I grumbled, then downed the rest of my cider. 

Colgate flicked her ears a little, looking around. She shrugged, then let out, “I hope Caramel and I start dating soon.”

The attention of everypony was brought to her. Berry let out an awkward chuckle and patted her friend’s back. “That might be the drink talking there, Colgate.”

Colgate slammed a hoof onto the table. “No, Berry! It’s true and it’s gonna happen, okay?” I guess the way she was talking was the drink, but it was good to see her take a stand for herself. 

“Yeah, what’sh your problem, Punchy?” I questioned. I mean, why was she acting so weird around Colgate today? First that look earlier, then this... maybe she was drunker than I thought. I dunno. Maybe it’s cause I was drunk too, so I wasn’t seeing things right. Oh, reminds me, sorry if I get any bits wrong, ‘cause I’m drunk.

“I don’t got a problem, alright?” Berry said. I’ll add that it was a defensive way of saying things. Again, dunno why. She just stuck her wine bottle in her mouth and began to chug down. Whatever. I could deal with that issue later. 

I leant against Bon Bon and gave her chest a few quick pecks. Mmmm... she’s so strong and muscular, thanks to being an earth pony. She is my rock, just a lot more cuddly. I buried my face in her chest and gave it a little nuzzle. I felt her strong hoof gently stroke my mane and she reached down to kiss my head. So I closed my eyes and went up to meet her on the lips and we shared a passionate smooch. And the best part of it, was that she smelt like apples. 

Then I felt something grab my ear and pull me away. I yelped, opening my eyes. 

“That shure was nice, sugarcube,” Applejack said, licking her lips. So... those lips were hers... huh. 

Y’know what? I could deal with this; Applejack was pretty good in bed. I went forward to kiss her again, but the force that was holding my ear held me back. “I think it’s time we went home before these two do something stupid.” Ah. That was Bon Bon’s voice. And she was probably right ‘cause she’s Bon Bon. Instead of selling candy, she should sell stuff that’s... right.

Bons gave everyone a polite, cute bow. “Thank you for the lovely time, everypony. I’ll see you—or, at least some of you, I guess—next time.”

Everypony said their goodbyes to her and then it was my time. I was in a good mood, so I decided that everypony needed hugs. 

Colgate was first. I wrapped my forelegs around her and squeezed. “Bye bye Colgate. I’ll shee you later, ‘kay?” Then, I thought to hay with it, and gave her a friendly peck on the cheek. 

She blushed really cute like, then rubbed the cheek I kissed. “Um... thanks, Lyra.” 

“No problem.” I got off her and moved to Berry, hugging and pecking her without hesitation. 

She accepted my actions, laughing to herself. “Go home, you drunk goof.” Then she started pushing me away when I began to hang on for too long.

Next was Cheerilee. I just hugged her, ‘cause I didn’t know her well enough to warrant a kiss or anything. “Bye, best teacher.” I paused for a bit, then added, “Best sexy teacher.” It was the truth and Bons says that ponies need to hear it sometimes.

Cheerilee kinda mumbled for a bit so I moved onto Applejack. I bit my lip and found it hard to look at her straight. If Bons wasn’t around, we probably would’ve banged again, and I didn’t want that awkwardness. I just patted her on the shoulder. “Um... yeah... yeah...” 

Finally, it was Rainbow’s turn. I threw my forelegs at her and gave her a super cuddle, ‘cause we didn’t see each other that often and I really cherished her company. “Bye, Dash. We’ll see each other again soon, ‘kay?”

She squirmed a little, but she still returned the hug. She wasn’t as eager as me though, s’just how she works. “Uh, yeah, shure.” I gazed up and saw that she was blushing really adorably. I considered pecking her too, but thought better of it. Not all ponies enjoy physical affection and Rainbow was one of them.

Then there was my marefriend. I trotted up to her, nearly stumbling, then cuddled her lovingly. “Bye Bon Bon!” Then I kissed her on the lips.

After we parted, Bon Bon just gave me a smirk. “You’re coming home with me, silly.”

It took me a lil’ while to remember that was the case. When I did figure it out, I swiftly turned on my hooves and started leaving. “Bye everypony!” 

Bons came up to my side and kept me firm as I waddled back home, nearly tripping a couple times, but she always caught me. It was dark now and the stars were out. Ponies were in their homes, some lights switched on, some not. I thought I saw a fireflies a few times, but I was drunk so who knows? It reminded me of old times, though. Bons taking me back home, us two, all alone...

That’s the weird thing about love. Okay, there’s a lot of weird things, but lemme explain, ‘kay? ‘Kay. The most mundane of moments can turn out to be the ones you cherish the most, ‘cause they’re with the pony you love. From another pony’s view, Bon Bon taking me home was just a routine, but it meant much more to me. Maybe it was because it showed how much she cared for me. She used to be a lot more grumbly whenever she took me back from the Sun’s Flank. Over time, I think I wore down her outer core and got to the sweet, sugary inside that is my Bon Bon. 

I felt like I had to say something, even if I was drunk. “Bonsh?”

She turned her head, smiling sweetly. I love her smile. “Yes, love?”

I only had one thing to say. “Thank you.”

She tilted her head. Her lovely smile stayed. “What for?”

“For lovin’ an’ accep—’cepta—erm ... an’ lovin’ me.” I nuzzled her cheek and let out a content sigh. Bliss. And for a moment, we just stood there, nuzzling each other. Sometimes, not even kisses are needed in moments like this. Although I guess my breath wasn’t as minty as it normally was, hehe. 

“C’mon, hun.” Bons kissed my cheek and made us move on again. “Let’s go back home and sleep.”

“Yeah...” I felt my eyes go a bit heavy, my steps a bit more sluggish. I wasn’t going to be awake much longer... “Sounds perfect...” 

And that’s when I fell into a drunken sleep. Sorry, Bon Bon. My bad. 

> The Pony Who Will Tug on Your Heartstrings
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Job Interviews! 

Yeah, I hate them too. But they’re just something you have to endure. Or so I’ve heard—don’t have much experience with them. Bon Bon had helped me get all the boring stuff out of the way, which was mainly sorting out my credentials (or lack of them), so the rest was down to me. 

We had singled out the perfect place for me to work: the bowling alley. I love bowling and I’m pretty good at it (I beat Rainbow Dash every time, trust me); so Bon Bon thought it would be good to be in a place that houses a sport I’m passionate about. It would keep me from getting too bored, at least. If I got the job, I would be cleaning bowling balls, pins, sometimes running the counter... typical stuff.

“Good luck, hun,” Bon Bon said to me, kissing my cheek before I left the house.

I fastened the straps on my saddlebags and kissed her right back. “Thanks, sweetie. You’ve been a blessing.”

“That’s not what you say when we’re banging,” she shot back with a mischievous grin. Not many ponies know this—Bons is pretty down to earth and acts pretty normal—but when we had our special times... yeah, she could be a bit ruthless to me.

We shared a quick nuzzle before I headed out of the door. And yeah, I was nervous. Going into a job interview with only your personality to back you up tends to make you feel very vulnerable. But, I thought that my determination to get this job would make me look desireable in my future employer’s eyes.

The bowling alley was, as expected, busy with ponies throwing balls down the lanes. The sound of the balls smashing into the pins and knocking them down always felt to satisfying to me. Even more so if it was you who just got a strike.

One of the ponies playing today was Allie Way. I was pretty good at the game, but she excelled at it. I’ve never even tried to beat her at her own game, but she does seem like a pretty nice mare, if a little tall. A short distance away from her, I saw Rainbow Dash, grumbling grumblingly. I guess she just got her flank handed to her. Again.

And that’s when I thought of a great idea. Rainbow was a real leader, who could inspire almost everypony. Probably even that cranky donkey that just moved in. No doubt she would be able to fill me up with courage and pump me up for the interview!

I trotted over and gave her a pat on the back. “Hey Dash. Lose again?”

Rainbow shook me off, narrowing her eyes at Alleyway. “Only ‘cause she has magic. If she didn’t, I’d totally whoop her flank.”

I nodded. “Uh-huh.” I’d been through this a couple of times before, so this was just an automated response on my part.

Rainbow snorted and turned to me. “Whatever. Up for a game, Harpflank?”

I raised a hoof. “Would if I could, but I can’t. Got a job interview here in a couple minutes.”

She quirked an eyebrow. I can’t really say I blamed her. Words like ‘job’ and ‘work’ were at the bottom of my word list. “Huh. Cool.” She lightly punched my shoulder. “Nice one.”

“Thanks.” My hoof found itself rubbing my foreleg instinctively. “But I’m a little nervous, to be honest.”

“I don’t blame you. You won’t be talking to an awesome boss like me.” She grinned and prodded her chest.

I gave her a flat look. “Not helping, Dash. What would be awesome would be if you gave me a little drive and got me warmed up before I go in.”

She shrugged, then started hovering above me. “Alright, sure. Just say that you can do this.”

I was skeptical, expecting a little more, but I went ahead and did it anyway. “I can do this.”

Rainbow faked a yawn. “C’mon, I know you can do louder than that.”

I shuffled, then spoke out in a louder voice, bordering on a shout. “I can do this.”

My ‘coach’ raised her hooves repeatedly. “Louder.”

I frowned, yet still did as she asked. “I can do this.”

“Seriously, you’re worse than Fluttershy! C’mon, Harpbutt!” 

I blinked, then cleared my throat and took in a deep breath. I was Lyra Heartstrings, and I was a not a Fluttershy! I counted to three in my head, then bellowed, “I can do this!! YEEEEEEAH!!!”

And then I heard the pin drop. Or rather, somepony’s bowling ball. The only thing I heard was it rolling down a lane, then lightly knocking over a pin. Everypony was giving me shocked looks.

Well this backfired horribly.

My cheeks started warming up as Rainbow gave me an approving nod. “A bit much, but you’re ready.” I tried to protest, now feeling embarrassed on top of nervous, but she started pushing me towards the counter. I attempted to fight back, believe me I did, but because it was a bowling alley, my hooves just started slipping all over the place on the hard, shiny floor. That just made me fall down over myself repeatedly. The end result was basically Rainbow rolling me across the floor like I was a giant hamster ball. 

“Rainbow! Stop!!!” I protested, my body continually colliding with the floor. All I could see was blur. She just snickered and kept going.

“Why stop now? You’re so close, can’t back out now.” Yeah, she was enjoying this way too much. But to be honest, I might have just bolted out of the place if I could, so she was doing me a service. An embarrassing, bruising service. I must have picked up whatever Derpy has, because this was ridiculous. 

She rolled me up to the front counter, where a light blue stallion was standing. His face was marked by acne. “Got your future employee right here!” she proclaimed, as I stopped, slumped against the counter and groaned. 

Rainbow helped me up to my hooves. I stumbled around for a bit, but I was no worse for wear. Except I would be in the morning. Already, I was plotting my revenge (dressing Rainbow as a baby? I think so). The stallion, definitely just a teenager, just looked at me funny. “Lyra Heartstrings,” I managed to say. “Here for an interview...”

He nodded, then went into a door behind him. I took the opportunity to clean myself up and regain my senses. Rainbow did help, but she only really patted down my hair, which is naturally scruffy anyway. A few seconds later, he came out, saying, “Mr. Turkey will see you now.”

Both Rainbow and I did a double take. Mr... Turkey? I don’t even—oh, that’s right; the bowling term. Sometimes, I think our naming system in Equestria needs a rehaul—I could’ve been called Klangfarbenmelodie. I’m serious, that’s an actual music term. Look it up. 

Anyway, where was I? Mr. Turkey, right. Oh Goddess... I was trying so feathering hard not to laugh, while Rainbow had the pleasure of doing so without repercussions. “Mr. Turkey?!” she cried, holding her stomach, which was in constant motion. “Are you being serious?”

“Er, y-yes I am,” the stallion stammered. 

I had to move, or risk exploding. Clenching my lips together, I leaped over the counter in such a way that would’ve impressed Applejack, then trotted to the door. I shut the door behind me, but could still hear Dash laughing. Damn it, Rainbow.

I came into a small office, with a large window fitted with blinds at the back. In front of that was a desk, a stallion sitting on a chair that I could only presume was Mr. Turk—my future employer. 

“Hello, Miss Heartstrings.” He gestured with a yellow foreleg at the wooden chair opposite him. “Please, sit down.”

I walked over (on carpet, thank Celestia) and took my seat. The desk looked fairly worn, but sturdy, with various papers gathered on top. I unfastened my saddlebag and took out my own, forwarding them to the stallion. 

He pointed to a glass of water on the desk. “Have a drink if you feel the need to. I’ll just look over your files.”

Then my mind slapped my brain. Bon Bon had already sent my credentials to him earlier, and I had just given him a copy. Maybe he would’ve thought I was being extra organised, as opposed to being extra stupid?

Yeah, I thought that was a long shot too.

The water looked really good right then, so I took a swig of it, then wiped my mouth afterwards. He had a neutral expression on his face, his emerald eyes scanning the pages. After a couple of tense, agonizingly long minutes, he put them down neatly. “Sorry for the wait, Miss Heartstrings. Let’s begin?” I nodded. He examined me, then casually asked, “Why have you picked us as the place where you would like to work?”

Oh, this was an easy one! I put on the best smile I could and answered with, “Because I love bowling and really enjoy the atmosphere you’ve created here!”

He smiled. It was small, but it was a smile. My mind was having a party at this point; I answered confidently, and gave him a compliment at the same time! Surely that’d boost my chances. “Heh, I have seen you down the alleys. You’re very good.”

And then the party in my brain turned into a rave. “Thank you, sir!”

“Heh. Moving on.” He leant back in his chair. “What makes you think you would be suited for the job?”

Okay, that was tougher. I had a little pause before I answered, but I still rose to the challenge. “As I said in the last question, I am passionate about bowling, so I’d love to do my best to make it even better for everypony.”

Mr. Turkey nodded once. He glanced down at my files for a couple of seconds, then rested his weight against the desk. He sighed, rubbing at his brow, then looked at me. It was somewhat of a somber look, so I started fidgeting, my smile becoming more strained. “Miss Heartstrings... just from looking at your papers, I can tell that you have zero experience whatsoever.” My heart sank. I became still. “If you dropped out of college, how can I trust you not to drop out of this?”

I wish I could tell you that I defended myself, but I can’t. He was right and I was speechless.

Another sigh escaped from him, as he ran a hoof through his brown mane. “To be honest, Miss Heartstrings... I don’t think you will find work in Ponyville at all.”

My eyelids flickered. “… what?”

“You have acquired a reputation in these parts for being...” He waved a hoof around, trying to think of the best way to put it across. “... lazy. And a drunkard.” 

The first part: true. The latter? Totally unfair. Okay, maybe I did have a problem back when I first moved into Ponyville, but that was all behind me now. At least I thought it was. Seems the consequences were finally catching up with me.

“As a result, I’m simply afraid that I cannot give you the job.” He handed my files back. His tone had a certain finality to it.

I felt the need for a glass of water, so I tried to get out of there as quick as I could. I gave him a hoofshake, then said thanks, trying to hide the tremble in my voice. Then I briskly left. Rainbow was stood by the counter, waiting for me. She flew up to me when she noticed me. “That was quick. I guess you sure showed him, huh?”

I hung my head low and headed for outside. “No, Rainbow. I didn’t.”

“Oh.” I heard her land beside me as we exited the building. “How bad was it?”

“Bad enough that my chances of getting a job here are utterly destroyed?” I should’ve known as much. Ponyville was built on reputation. There are reasons why Sugarcube Corner is so popular and why the Apple family is so successful. Me? I was a failure when I came here, so I still was now.

I saw her flinch a little. “Ouch...”

I stopped. That was all she had to say? No words of encourage or comfort? “Ouch?!” I shouted, taking a step towards her, scowling. “I’m doomed to a life of laziness and failure and all you can say is ouch?!”

That definitely caught her off guard. I could tell because her wings were suddenly flared out. “Hey, don’t—” She stopped herself and growled, probably preventing a trademark ranty Rainbow remark. “Look, it seems bad now, but there’s a way outta this. There’s gotta be; always is. And getting all ragey about it ain’t gonna help you get there.”

I flicked my tail, still a little peeved. But she was right, at the end of the day. My journey to the top just got a little narrower and longer, that was all. “Yeah, yeah. I hear you.” I started walking off. “Gonna think a bit.”

Rainbow said goodbye or something, then took off. I was currently finding the ground more interesting, or rather, my thoughts. I felt this heavy sense of dread hang over me and a single question danced around in my head.

Had I wasted my life?

I’ve lived for over twenty years now. And what do I have to show for it? My greatest achievement is being with the most wonderful pony in the world, my Bon Bon. But that’s only one thing. Everypony I know has far more things to their names. Bons had her own candy stand, and had worked for that since she moved to Ponyville. Colgate was a dentist and always had a perfect smile. Berry had gotten out of alcoholism and had her own business, selling wines she made herself.

Me? My greatest achievement is sitting funny.

I trudged along, spewing in my thoughts, too occupied pay attention to anything else. That turned out into a big mistake, since I soon felt myself collide into something hard. I heard a grunt as I was knocked back, then something fell onto the floor. I gazed down and saw a fresh baguette, the salad it had spilling onto the ground. My mind made the connection instantly and I snapped my head up to see Raindrops standing there. Her face fell.

Crap. She had been in a rare good mood, and I just ruined that.  “... oops. Sorry,” I said, but the cloud of depression was still over me at this point, so I didn’t sound very sincere.

Raindrops was silent for a few moments, a frown forming on her face. I prepared for the inevitable grumpiness that was to come. “You ruined my lunch.”

“You can just get a new one,” I offered, hoping it would deter her. “No big deal.”

Raindrops snorted, then shot me a glare. “Not a big deal? You just ruined my lunch!” Now, it’s things like this that make me really dislike her. A normal pony in this situation would’ve apologised for bumping into me, I would apologise back, then they would be off on their way to buy more lunch. Raindrops was not a normal pony. 

“It cost you, what, three bits?” I snarked.

She started growling. Great. Somepony should’ve alerted the medics, because I thought her blood pressure was going to skyrocket. “You still ruined my lunch.”

I rolled my eyes. “Here we go with the grumpiness. It's just lunch.”

“Well how would you like it if I bumped into you and ruined your lunch?” she shot back.

“I'd get over it and buy some more? Y'know, like an adult?” She was acting a bit immature. I could understand her anger if she was desperately hungry or poor, but she wasn’t either of those things. She was doing better than me, actually, so she had no reason to start raging now.

“Excuse me?” She tensed up and stepped forward. “You might wanna watch your mouth.” I have never seen a fat pegasus. They’re just all lean and Raindrops was more so than most. I knew very well that she could pound me into the ground without second thoughts.

I wasn’t too intimidated though, since we had been through this routine too many times to count. “And you should watch yours, because that sounded like a threat.”

“Probably 'cause it was.”

I put on a ridiculous grin. “And I'm sure beating me up will go swimmingly with the gendarmes!”

“Sheesh. Drama queen much?” Hypocrisy, thy name is Grumpy.

“Says the pony who threatened me? For just, y'know, accidentally ruining their lunch?” Sure, I didn’t like Raindrops, but that didn’t mean I’d go out of my way to ruin her day. I suppose one positive she has is that she’s the same way. We’re like cats in a bag, except I’m the nice cat that purrs a lot and she’s Opalescence.

Now it was her turn to roll her eyes. “Whatever, look, just pay for the bread, and we'll call it even.”

Had I not been in such a bad mood from earlier, I would’ve laughed. “Er, no. Not after you threatened me like that.”

“Hey, fair's fair.” She held out her forehoof and gestured for bits. “Pay up.”

I stomped my hoof on the ground, causing Raindrops to withdraw hers. “No way! I'm having a bad enough day as it is, without having to pay lunch money to a bully.”

She snorted and gave me an unimpressed look. “So you're gonna ruin my lunch, and not even compensate me for it? Tch, typical.”

I blinked, then coughed. “Excuse me?”

“Just saying, it figures you wouldn't take responsibility,” she explained, shrugging.

Okay, I wasn’t going to take that lying down. I frowned deeply, then shouted, “Hey! I take responsibility well enough, thank you!”

Then she had the nerve to scoff. “Since when?”

“Since I'm trying to get work, that's when!” Maybe Raindrops would have been right before, but now was different. I stopped, taking that in. I really had been a lazy bum, hadn’t I? 

It turned out that Raindrops was just as stunned as I was, blinking. “Seriously?”

Anger took a hold of me again, but it wasn’t aimed at the pegasus this time. “Yeah, but that's gone to Tartarus before it's even begun!” I cried, hitting the ground and kicking up some dirt.

“What, did it fall apart when you found out you'd actually have to do work? Or couldn’t you find a job that involved sitting around on a bench?” She snickered at her own ‘jokes’. Yeah, figures I wouldn’t get any sympathy from the Princess of Grumps.

“No,” I grumbled, grinding my teeth. “I just found out that nopony here is gonna take me on!” 

“Figures, what with your rep,” she said flatly.

That was it. If she was being blunt, then I would be too. I was getting tired of her nastiness. “Oh, buck off. You're not helping.”

She widened her eyes in disbelief. “What makes you think I want to help?”

I fell silent. She had a point, and a very good one too. This was my own doing. I didn’t deserve any help really. “… just take the money.” I got a couple of bits from my saddlebag and threw them at her hooves. She picked them up and gave me an uncertain look, but I was already dragging myself off.

I could feel her looking at me, but I didn’t know if she was relieved or feeling triumphant. “Hey, hold up a sec.”

Gah! Couldn’t she see I wanted to be left alone?! I didn’t bother looking back and just kept walking. “What?”

She followed me, but kept her distance. “You really looking for a job?”

“Yeah, I am.” I stopped and levitated the proof out of my saddlebags and gave them to her.

She looked over my credentials briefly. “Hmm. At least you were honest,” she offered.

“And look where that got me,” I spat. I paused, then added, “Actually, lying wouldn't have gotten me anywhere either.”

“Mhm,” she agreed, passing me back the papers, which I tucked away. She stared at me, something going on in her brain. I’m not sure what caused her to say her next words. “... if you're willing to bust your flank for it, I might be able to set something up.”

My ears perked up and I gave her more attention. “Yeah?”

“Yeah. Tornado Day is coming up, which means all the pegasi in town are going to be called in, which means they’ll all be off work for a bit. I don’t think most of them would be against you filling in their positions for them for a while,” she explained, bringing with her a glimmer of hope.

Before I could fantasize though, I had to ask just one question. “Even Derpy?”

“I didn’t say it was a safe event,” she replied. Can’t blame everypony keeping an eye on the muffin mare while she’s working with tornados. 

Actually, I’m going to look into tornado insurance, just in case. Bon Bon should think it’s a worthwhile investment.

“So... I could be the mailmare?” I asked, my mouth twitching, almost forming a grin.

“Maybe. But it won’t be an easy ride. Early start times, long hours and lots of work.” Sheesh, no kidding. But if I was in Derpy’s position and did a good enough job at it... then I’d start increasing my reputation with the town, and that would open up more opportunities! “You’re not a pegasus, so I don’t think you can do the out of town deliveries, but those in Ponyville? Yeah, that could be something you could pull off.” Hah! The workload had decreased already. Not bad—no! Bad Lyra! Bad!

Laziness aside, I actually had my doubts. I glanced at my untoned form. You would’ve thought that because I bang both Bons and Kicky, I would have had more muscle. “I'm not really built for hard labor...”

Raindrops gave me a simple shrug. “You don't want the job, don't take it. Just saying, it's there. But if you don't want ponies thinking you're too lazy to be a good worker, rejecting jobs 'cause they involve hard work won't get you far.”

“I guess...”  I gazed at that stoic face of hers. She was still a grump, but she had proven to be a helpful grump. That being the case... “Thanks. And sorry.”

She gave me a firm nod. “We're settled. Seeya,” she said, then started trotting off. But before she left completely, she had one last thing to say. “Good luck.”

“Have a good lunch,” I called out after her as she went on her way, and me on mine. A small smile had made its way onto my face. Perhaps Raindrops wasn’t as bad as I had believed. Maybe, like Kicky often told me, she had a heart of gold. It was just trapped under layers and layers of grumpiness. And she could easily remove that, I’m sure.

It’s a shame then that my smile was removed a few moments later, for I heard the cry of one of the most annoying creatures on the planet: Cherry Berry. “She’s right, you know.”

I froze, telling myself to ignore her. But... “Shut up, Cherry.”

“Sorry.” Wait, what? I turned and gave her a curious look, slanting my head slightly. “The truth does hurt.” 

That whorse!

I snarled at her, which unfortunately did not send her running with her tail in between her legs. “I’m not in the mood for your horseapples, Cherry.”

“I’m just saying, do you think any pegasus is going to let you handle their position while they’re occupied? Bear in mind, your performance will reflect on them. And, well...” She grinned. Devilishly. “We all know how well you do at work.”

I could feel my blood practically boiling. Raindrops was one thing, but Cherry was an entire entity of another thing. “That’s what I’m trying to improve,” I said tersely. 

“So you claim.” Cherry started inspecting her hooves, looking uninterested. “So this endeavour will last, what, a week?”

“Oi, Cherry. Don’t you have a job to be getting to?” My ears twitched. That was Berry’s voice! She walked towards my antagonizer with assertive steps, getting uncomfortably close to her.

“Yes, but I don’t have any appointments yet,” Cherry defended. 

Berry didn’t let up, walking into Cherry and making her stumble back. “I don’t know what your problem with Lyra is. Sure, she’s lazy and a bit useless sometimes,” Er... thanks Berry? “but she stays true to her name. Your heart seems to just be a lump of coal. So why don’t you get in that balloon of yours, take off, then start clopping to get rid of all this pent up bitchiness you seem to have?”

Both mine and Cherry’s jaws dropped. She looked between Berry and I, eyes widened. She tried her best to settle, clearing her throat and trotting off at a brisk pace. Thanks to that, the smile had returned to my face, and I went forward to give my savior a hug.

Except she wasn’t having any of it. She gave me a slight scowl, putting up a hoof that blocked me off from the hug-zone. “We have to talk.”

I had to blink a couple of times. “Talk?”

“Yeah, talk.” I looked her over. All that natural earth pony strength bearing down on me... she did look really intimidating now. “Lay off Colgate, alright?”

I stepped back, as though she had shoved me. My brow furrowed and my mouth fell open. “What do you mean? I haven’t even upset her!”

Berry snorted. “No, you’ve pushed her,” she said, and continued, “pushed her into loving Caramel.”

My brain became a whirlwind of confusion, and it showed on my face. “What? I only gave her advice, and she’s in her right to take it if she wants to.” I arched an eyebrow, tilting my head at Berry. “Why do you seem to be so heated about this?

Berry’s hoof kicked up dust as it landed right in front of my hooves. Her mouth and limbs twitched. My heart leapt into my throat; for a moment, I really thought she was going to knock me over and beat me down. And she could’ve easily done it too. “Because your lazy thinking didn’t take into account that I might have been interested in her first,” she growled.

I stumbled back, shaken. Then it came to me. There was a reason Berry was acting slightly odd at the last drinking night. She wasn’t just interested in Colgate, she was in love with her. And now I had completely messed up her chance of getting together with her. “B-Berry, wait, I can—”

“Don’t do a thing,” Berry answered me tersely. She jabbed me lightly in the chest and I fell to my rump, aghast. I couldn’t tell if that was her intention or not, because that deep frown of hers just wouldn’t go away. I blabbered something about trying to repair the situation, but she was done with me by this point, turning and trotting off.

Well done, Lyra Heartstrings. Well done for messing up one of your best friend’s love life. Well done for not getting the job. Well done for screwing up your life.

Well done for being such a lazy, useless pony.





Colgate came to me a few days later. I had avoided seeing her after the Berry incident, and I refused to tell her about it, but she invited me to some party thing the next day. I could’ve used a good time, so I said yes.

I told Bon Bon about that awful day though. Of course, she was very understanding, and said that taking Derpy’s job while she was busy was a good idea. What she wasn’t happy about though was my napping habits. Naptime had increased in length, mainly to combat what I felt inside; torn up and horrible. 

In fact, I was having one right on a bench when the time for the party rolled around. Nopony woke me, but the wind did. It picked up a little and had a cold bite to it. Shivering, I rolled off the bench, stood up, and trotted onwards.

My prospects weren’t looking good, but hopefully the party would have been what I needed. A quick pick-me-up, free from drama. Hopefully. When there’s ponies, there’s always a certain level of drama. 

I walked up to Colgate’s house and let myself in. This is what I tend to do with my friends. Remember when I said I was the lazy cat? Well, I did enter my friend’s houses without them knowing and sometimes waited for them to come back when I got bored. Everypony is kinda used to it by now, except if I raid their food supplies. Then I get whapped.

I opened the door, then entered the main room, seeing quite a few ponies around a wooden table in the center of the room. Lots of candy was on the table, but I knew it was all sugar-free. Having a dentist as a friend did have its downsides. 

The assortment of ponies was... interesting, to say the least. Colgate sat next to Caramel (damn it), and Berry was sitting at one end of the table (double damn it). Then there was Thunderlane next to Caramel, and Time Turner next to him. I guessed they were Caramel’s friends. 

I took a seat next to Turner when Berry shot me a glare. Great, she was still pissed. And I don’t mean in the ‘about to fall over and vomit everywhere’ way. “There she is,” she said. I could just barely detect the coldness in her voice. “What’s your excuse?”

“I had...” I shuffled. I couldn’t just say I was asleep. Sure, I was down, but I wasn’t trying to lower my reputation further. “Busy stuff going on...”

“Lyra, it’s okay if you were asleep,” Colgate said, offering me an understanding smile. I just stuffed some candy in my mouth. It tasted awful. Not awful in the way that made you want to spit it out, but... it just tasted of nothing. That’s even worse.

Thankfully, the stallions were gossiping like fillies, providing a distraction. I saw Turner lean towards his mates, whispering something. Thunderlane laughed quietly and gave him a hoofbump. I twitched my ears, but couldn’t pick up anything else but intelligible murmurs.

Mere moments—during which Colgate led the conversation—passed before Turner was turning to me. “Any hints, Lyra?”

“What about?” I asked.

“Oh, why you were delayed...” He trailed off, rotating his forehoof. “... and who by...”

I raised an eyebrow, eyeing him up and down. “And you want to know why, exactly? C’mon, we don’t know each other all too well.” All I knew was that he was one of Kicky’s banging buddies and that he worked with clocks or something. If he was trying to intrude into my love life, he wouldn’t get anything from me. 

“Well,” he started, grinning and tracing a circle on the table. “I’ll just have to imagine it.” He paused for effect and just grinned at me. I shivered a little, which caused him to back off. I guess Kicky’s influence had rubbed off on him, but he didn’t have the gall to take it all the way. Or he just knew that I was a lesbian, and that stallions flirting with me made me uncomfortable. “Bon Bon closed her stall a few hours ago, right?”

Had I not thrown more sweets into my mouth, I wouldn’t have been choking right there and then. I hacked, wheezed and managed to save myself. After I took a moment to recover, I said, “Could you not imagine me banging my beloved marefriend?” I smirked a little, ready to turn the tables on him. “S’like me imagining you doing erotic things with Cloud in the theater.”

But damn it all, he just smiled. “It could be on the big screen.”

I swallowed, then snorted. “Whatever you say.” Turner cheered to himself, then went back to Thunderlane. Seconds passed, and Lane was grumbling into his bottle. They could think whatever they wanted to, as far as I was concerned, as long as they didn’t spread it around town. That said, Bons and I were the most famous couple in Ponyville, so I guess everypony in town had stories about us, real or not. The reason being... well, my exploits when I was trying to woo Bon Bon were seen all around town. Not to mention the fact that when we did hook up, I kind of sung about it to everypony I could find.

Caramel then looked at me, giving me a friendly smile. “So, Lyra, how are things? Colgate mentioned something about you getting your life on track?”

I had to give Colgate a split second of a frown for that, but Berry noticed and shot me an even harsher glare back. My life wasn’t off track to begin with. It wasn’t like I was taking substances every day and wishing for the sweet release of death. I squirmed, mostly away from Berry. “... er, something like that. I mean, it was never truly off the rails.”

“That’s true, actually,” Berry began, her voice and body completely relaxed. Then she quickly turned to me, grinning. “I remember her when she first moved in.”

Goddess, this wasn’t her usual snark. This was disguised spite. “Shush shush shush!” I told her, trying not to rise to her bait. “We’re not going there.” She just grinned deviously. Celestia’s sake, Berry, please don’t be like this...

Caramel coughed, scratching the back of his neck. “I meant that—well, you’re looking for work and stuff.”

“Yeah, I am.” I scanned the table for anything that was actually edible... and found the king of sweets. Mints. I popped one in my mouth, humming in delight when the taste exploded onto my tongue.

Caramel’s eyes looked upon me, but not at me. “So... any luck with that?” 

I sighed out through my nose, lowering in my seat a little. “... no such thing as luck, right?” The freshness in my mouth from the mint was gone, so I ate another. 

“Well... fortune does tend to favor the prepared,” Turner said with a shrug.

“Good point,” Berry replied civilly, giving him a nice nod. 

I shrugged as well, but it wasn’t really committed. “I guess.” That saying didn’t hold much water, really. The definition of fortune is luck. And luck... it hadn’t favored me a lot.

“Well, I’m fairly lucky,” Thunderlane announced. He had the appearance of a jock who was trying a bit too hard. He had the muscle for sure, but his straight, mohawk of a mane stood out way too much, and his face was a little too friendly to be aggressive.

Turner just guffawed, while Colgate slowly looked at Thunderlane, nonplussed. “... you just slammed into my front door.”

Oh Goddess, I was disappointed that I missed that, but thank you Colgate—I giggled, with a snort. It felt so good. “Seriously?!”

Lane’s eyes shifted from left to right. “I meant to do that.” Caramel facehoofed.

“Sure, sure,” Berry said, smirking. I hated to admit it, but I was glad Thunderlane was there to divert some of Berry’s attention off me.

“His ego is worse than Rainbow’s,” I added, trying to get in Berry’s good books. I don’t think being ignored counts as that.

“Is this like the time you meant to show Merry May how fast you could fly?” Turner questioned.

Thunderlane fiddled with a bottle in front of him. I could tell it was Berry’s. There wasn’t one in front of me. “Well...”

“And what Dash said about that afterwards?” Turner pressed. I guessed Merry worked for her then. Quite a lot of pegasi in Ponyville do, so I lose track of who’s on the weather team and who isn’t.

Caramel shook his head, still covered by his hoof. “Oh Celestia...”

Colgate rubbed his back, which perturbed me. It was rather intimate, and Caramel wasn’t exactly complaining. “That sounds... interesting,” she said.

“Somehow he thought that a good Hearts and Hooves day involved a race...” He sighed wearily. “Through Ghastly Gorge.”

No comment.

Colgate blinked once, while I spoke, “… depends who he’s with.” I guess I was trying to rationalize the stupidity of that decision.

Thunderlane leant back in his chair, crossing his forelegs over his chest. “Merry May said she had fun,” he claimed.

Caramel pointed at him, bluntly putting forth that, “She beat you, Lane.”

“We should play a drinking game revolving around Thunderlane.” Berry laughed, taking her own wine bottle and taking a sip from it. Colgate and I joined in on the giggles, but I have to say that mine felt a bit forced.

“I think that would be bad for my health,” Turner snarked. The conversation settled a bit, so he tapped the table and went on. “At least your tail can grow back.”

Suddenly, Lane’s tail twitched and hid itself behind his chair. He swallowed, and I think I saw him shake just a little. I guess one of the Quarray Eels in the gorge had bitten off his tail. Way too close a call. Colgate read the signs, frowning, before saying, “Perhaps we should move on?”

Berry nodded once. “Yeah...” Her eyes drifted over to Caramel. They narrowed slightly. “So... Caramel, what do you even do?”

Caramel didn’t look like he had noticed Berry’s attitude and answered with confidence. “Oh, farm stuff here and there. I work for anypony who needs help and on market days I sometimes sell the caramel treats my pa taught me how to make.” Huh. Come to think of it, Caramel must have had a pretty good reputation if he did that. I guess I should’ve followed his example.

Berry let out a snort. “The Apple Family wants your help?”

“Uh, not really. I normally help out with the others though, like Carrot Top.” That made sense. Apples kept their work to themselves. Although they were a bit hypocritical; they were always willing to help out to help a friend, but rarely accepted the opposite.

Berry rubbed her chin, silent for a several seconds. Thankfully, she dropped the subject. “Hm, alright then.” Her lips found their way back to the bottle. 

“Applejack isn’t one to ask,” Time Turner said. “Mac usually covers anything she doesn’t.”

“That’s true,” Colgate agreed, nodding. “It’s amazing how between those two, they manage to keep everything up and running.”

Turner scoffed quietly. “Are we talking about the same farm? No offense to Mac, but—well, they tend to... overstate things.”

“They always have their produce available to buy,” Colgate countered. Good point. And it’s always delicious, unlike those Flimmy Flammy Floppy Poppy Bros. But to their credit, they were very good singers.

“Only because of how hard they work themselves,” Turner shot back. Another great point. Heh, these two were pretty good at debating.

The others just turned their heads as each pony spoke, like a heated game of tennis was being duked out in front of us. “What’s wrong with that? They’re happy,” Colgate said.

“Remember how bad it got last year when Big Mac injured himself?” Turner shook his head and relaxed in his chair. 

“They manage,” Caramel spoke up before Colgate had her say.

She seemed happy with that though, smiling sweetly and giving Turner a curt nod. “Exactly.”

Turner wasn’t willing to let the subject drop. “They’d probably have it easier if they took Caramel on every now and then.” His tone was wistful, so I guessed that he was more looking out for his friend rather than intentionally aggravating mine.

“That’s up to them, isn’t it?” Colgate asked pointedly. 

I could see Thunderlane just eating, not really paying attention anymore. Caramel just sighed and frowned. “Yeah, but I get plenty of work from Carrot Top so she can spend more time selling her carrots. She says it can get a bit lonely out there alone.”

I saw Colgate tense up. Not good. “Mmm... it might do...” Crap. You’ve seen what jealousy can do to a pony. Just look at Berry.

“I was out there the other day,” Turner said diplomatically. “She makes a very nice carrot cake.” He gestured at the carrot cake leftovers on his and Thunderlane’s plates. The ones that I hadn’t noticed before now. The ones that were mostly finished.

Of course I wanted it. I gingerly drew out my foreleg and pointed at the cake. “... you gonna eat them leftovers?”

“I thought I recognised the style,” Caramel said, smiling contently. Lane and Turner, meanwhile, pulled their plates full of cake closer to themselves.

“Is that a no...?” I wanted that cake.

Turner’s eyes slowly went from me to the table. “I’ll have another piece of the cake as well.”

“Wait, there’s another piece?!” I quickly searched the table, then I found it. Lovely carrot cake... so sublime...

There were two slices left. Thunderlane darted forward and grabbed one, trailing crumbs on the table all the way to his plate. He faceplanted the slice and started to devour it.

Turner and I looked at each other, then the slice. We both licked our lips. My horn started to glow. “That piece is mine!” I slammed a hoof on the table and snatched the piece in my telekinesis. Turner grumbled to himself while I happily ate my fill. 

“Watch your weight, Lyra,” Berry said. Well there went my victory grin. Berry was back to picking on me agai— “I’m serious.”

I stopped chewing and looked down at myself. My belly protruded out like a small barrel. Granted, ponies did have round bellies naturally, but mine seemed a little chubbier than most. Was I getting fat...? Great. Another problem with my life thanks to laziness.

I sighed and kept on eating. Waste not want not. “I’m fine...”

Turner sighed and rewarded himself with a boring ol’ carrot to eat. The food was starting to run out too, even the sugar free crap. Which was most of it, really. Colgate searched the table, nodded to herself, then stood up and tapped the table. “Well, everypony... I actually gathered you here for an announcement.”

I didn’t swallow my mouthful. Both mine and Berry’s ears twitched. Everypony’s eyes were all on the dentist. Turner stopped mid bite, his eyes slightly wider than normal. Caramel’s brow was raised. “What’s going on, Colgate?”

Colgate giggled joyfully and nudged him lightly. “You know, silly.”

Caramel blinked hard a couple of times. “Uh...” he trailed off and went silent. 

Suddenly the cake in my mouth didn’t taste so good. I swallowed harshly. The room started to feel a little stuffy and I was sweating. Nopony else was.

Colgate laughed again, delightfully unaware of my paranoia. Just what was going on? Then she put her hooves on Caramel’s shoulders and started nuzzling his cheek. I could see Berry, out of the corner of my eye, stiffen. 

“We’re going out, of course! Thought you knew that, you goof.” Colgate wrapped her arms around him and squeezed him tightly. Then she kissed him on the cheek.

She kissed him. Tenderly.

Berry immediately took a swig of her drink, then almost slammed the bottle on the table. My mouth fell open and I lost all my focus on my magic. The last of my cake dropped to the ground, landing on the floor and spreading out crumbs.

I was really up the creek now. And I had a feeling Berry was going to beat me to death with the paddle. 
> The Pony Who is a Totally Cool Adult
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Have you ever seen something break down before you, something really important? Ever seen the chaos and the debris left behind? You feel powerless and guilt washes over you like a tidal wave, right? Yeah, that was what I was feeling right then.

And it was only getting worse. Caramel was shifting in his seat and wasn’t readily accepting Colgate’s kisses on his cheek. He kept mumbling, trying to say something, but he had a lump in his throat. Colgate kept hugging, caressing and kissing him all the while.

He wasn’t committed, and she was clueless about it.

Turner was watching them closely, especially Caramel. He had picked up on the same thing as I did, I knew it. But he was lucky—a mere spectator. I was the trigger that started this whole mess.

What could I do? The safest option was to tell them both that this would never work. But that’d break Colgate’s heart. Yet if I let them stay together then things would get even worse…

I realized that nopony was getting out of this without being hurt. And, Celestia damn it, it shouldn’t have come to that in the first place. What sort of Heartstrings creates heartbreak? That wasn’t me, that wasn’t what my family stood for!

But no, I’d gone and messed everything up. Hurt everypony involved. It was enough to make me start questioning the legitimacy of my own damn name...

Colgate suddenly froze, then looked at Turner, narrowing her eyes just a little. She only did that for a second or two, but I caught it. Suffice to say, I had no idea what she knew that I didn’t. Turner seemed completely normal to me.

Whatever Colgate had noticed, it was long gone. She relaxed and nuzzled her ‘coltfriend’. “You’re just nervous, hun.”

Out of my peripheral vision, I could see Berry tighten her hold on her bottle, trying to suppress a snarl. Thunderlane was occupied with eating the rest of the food. A smart move. It looked careless and ignorant at the time, but he was just trying to avoid getting caught in the mess, I imagined.

Turner had a calculating look in his eye. Colgate suddenly turned her head to inspect him again. “Something you want to say, Turner?”

Turner jumped. Just a little, but it was there. He opened his mouth, then closed it right after. I scratched my head, watching the two of them. Just what was going on? Was there some rivalry that Colgate had with Turner? That couldn’t be the case, since she would have told me. Did she know something about Turner that I didn’t? Maybe. I wasn’t too aware of him before now.

“Yeah,” he finally said. He glared at Caramel. “Don’t.”

I almost fell out of my seat. Everypony blinked. I heard a soft gasp escape from Berry’s mouth. Then she had the barest hint of a smirk on her face. I also heard a choking sound. That was Thunderlane. He was fine, don’t worry.

Colgate shot Turner a dirty look. “Excuse me?” 

Goddess, this was going to turn ugly. I grabbed my seat, kicked my hindhooves off the floor and jumped into the seat nearer Turner. I leaned in and whispered to him, “Uh... Turner? Might want to be more gentle here?”

Turner gently brushed me aside. I wish he hadn’t; he had no idea what he was about to unleash. Nothing hurts worse than heartbreak, and he was about to effectively stampede all over Colgate’s heart. “The both of you are rushing into this. Caramel, I know you're hesitating and I know why. Don't let yourself be forced into something you don't want.”

Caramel fidgeted with his hooves, avoiding everypony’s gaze. “Yeah... but—”

“We're not rushing into this. It's come naturally,” Colgate swiftly cut in.

“It hasn't. Otherwise, Caramel would have said yes already,” Turner retorted. 

Colgate scowled at him, bringing Caramel even closer to her. He froze, helpless. “What's your problem with us?”

“Colgate, he doesn't love you.” 

That was enough to cause the dam to start breaking. Colgate slammed a hoof on the table, shouting. “You don't know that!”

“I do, and I'm not going to let the pair of you dig yourselves into a hole. A hole where the only way out is to break your heart.” He leant forward, staring hard at Caramel. “Come clean now, before it gets worse.” 

Caramel squirmed in his seat and I could see Colgate tighten her hold over him. Goddess, she was getting desperate. The poor stallion had effectively turned from a pony into a trophy. I glanced over at Berry, just to try and gauge her reaction. We locked eyes. I froze.

She wasn’t angry anymore. Her expression was way too relaxed for that. Her eyes were downcast, her brow furrowed and her lips tight together. We both wanted it to stop before things got out of hoof. I wasn’t sure if she even blamed me for all this anymore.

I turned away from her and looked at Colgate. The idea I had wasn’t the best, but it’d buy some time for us all. All I needed was a private one-on-one with her to sort things out. With a shaky grin, I said, “Maybe you'd be willing to have an open relationship?”

I heard the sound of a hoof smacking face. Yeah, Berry, I would’ve facehoofed too. Goddess, I’m an idiot.

“Lyra, no,” Colgate told me decisively. “I've got something with Caramel, and you think I'm going to let it go just because Turner over here doesn't agree with it?”

To my surprise, Thunderlane entered the conversation, cutting me off before I had a chance to reply. “Caramel, I think you should listen to Turner.” He coughed and moved in his seat. “Don’t drag this sorta thing out, y’know? Isn’t that what they say?.”

“Caramel,” Turner said, giving him a heavy stare. 

All eyes fell on him. Caramel was sweating now, his breathing rate soaring. He looked from Colgate to Turner, then back to her, then back to him. He closed his eyes, let out a deep breath, and then…

“He’s r-right,” he said shakily.

“See? You're stressing him out—” Colgate said over him. She blinked, catching his words. Her ears lowered as she gazed at him. “What?”

“Colgate, I only wanted to be friends…” Gently, very gently, he pushed her away. “It's my fault. I shouldn't have given you those chocolates…”

For a small while, Colgate just… stopped. She blinked a few times, but that was it. Her mouth hung agape. I think I heard a few strained sounds come out of her mouth. “B-But... we... all…” she stammered. Her eyes were watery now. “All of those moments were nothing to you?” she said, almost a whisper. Berry reached for her drink again.

Caramel turned away. I couldn’t blame him. “I’m sorry, Colgate, but…”

“Just... ignore Turner!” she cried. I saw a few things in those misty eyes of hers. Anger. Frustration. Hurt. And now it was all coming out in full force. “It’s not like he has anypony anyway!”

Even if she was heartbroken, there are some things that I just can’t tolerate. “That's a low blow, Colgate,” I told her.

“Well it's true, isn't it?”

Turner’s eyes narrowed for a brief moment. “Well excuse me, but I'm just doing the right thing. Even if you don't appreciate it.”

“You're doing what you think is the right thing!” she yelled. The tears were streaming down her cheeks now. I sucked in a breath and started fiddling with my forehooves. Goddess, Colgate, I’m so sorry…

“Yeah, and one day you'll thank me for it,” Turner said, not raising his voice at all. If Colgate’s spiteful jab was affecting him, it wasn’t showing.

“You... you... just shut up!” Colgate shouted, her teeth bared, body tense. Had her horn started glowing, I would’ve been the first straight over that table but she had more sense than that, thank Celestia.

Turner said nothing more, just leaning back in his chair, staring down Caramel. I suppose he did all that he had to. I couldn’t read Berry’s expression well; she was just staring at her drink. Thunderlane was fishing for something under the table. 

Colgate desperately clung to Caramel, trying her hardest to caress and kiss his cheek. Her movements weren’t sensual. They were panicked, dire and hungry. Each attempt was blocked by his hoof. “Caramel, p-please... don't leave me... we had something. I-I know we did.”

Caramel left his chair, standing up and moving away from Colgate. Her hoof hung limply after him. That simple action made her understand more than words ever could. “Caramel, I…” she looked down, tears rolling. “I-I…” She bolted, sobbing and galloping upstairs. A door slammed shut and the sound of crying ceased to be heard.

I’m not sure what was worse: seeing Colgate crying like that, or the heavy, painful silence that followed. None of us looked at each other. Just as well, really. I was biting my lip, struggling to keep my own composure. 

“Wow. Berry, you got any more in those bags?” Thunderlane finally said after downing his drink.

Berry shot him a dirty look. “Lane? Is this really the best time?” He went back in his seat.

I had to say something. Anything just to prevent another silence. “Goddess that was awful... but it was the right thing to do,” I said, running a hoof through my mane. I looked at Caramel. “Caramel, I… I can only apologize for putting you in that position.”

He just nodded, then turned to Berry. “Berry, I think I need a drink.”

She was only too quick to oblige. She got out another bottle and passed it over the table. “Take it.” She gazed at all of us. “Look... if you all want to, we can take this to my place,” she offered.

“I think we've all been partied out,” Turner said, as Caramel chugged on his wine.

“Yeah…” Lane agreed, ears lowered.

“Mhm... Turner?” I asked.

“Yeah?”

“That was…” I stopped, mulling over my choice of words. While what he had done was necessary, it wasn’t the way I would’ve gone about doing it. Then again, how could I talk? I was the one that caused all this in the first place. “Pretty noble of you to do. Are you alright?”

“I wouldn't call it that.” He shook his head, then gestured upstairs. “You'd better go up after her. I think the rest of us should head home.”

“I was planning to.” I had to. The whole reason this happened was because of my stupid advice. It was my duty to pick up the pieces I had smashed. I hung my head. “Goddess... I really bucked up.” 

To my surprise, I felt somepony nuzzle my cheek.“It's... it's okay, Lyra.”

… Berry?

Clearly I was showing more hurt than I had thought. I wasn’t sure why Berry wasn’t chewing me out right now, but hay, I took it as a blessing that she wasn’t. Maybe she had a bad day the other time. Maybe she now thought it wasn’t completely my fault. Or maybe she just hated seeing a friend down.

Whatever it was, I was damn glad it was happening. I was only too eager to nuzzle her in return. “It's not, but... thanks, Berry.”

Turner looked over at Caramel, who in turn was looking down the neck of the bottle. He swayed a little. I blinked when I realized that he had downed the whole thing. Turner got up and went over to him. “Alright, I suppose we'd better get him home. Lane, can you gimme a hoof?” The black pegasus nodded and joined him.

“If you need a talk with me, I'll do whatever I can to help,” I told them. It only felt right, after what I had put them all through. Especially Caramel. Goddess, Berry’s drinks looked sorely tempting right now…

“I'll take care of him. You'd better get after Colgate,” Turner said. 

“Yeah. Take care, everypony,” I said, nodding and beginning to head upstairs. I heard the front door open behind me, several sets of hooves shuffling out. As I slowly went up the stairs, going up to Colgate’s bedroom, I couldn’t hear her, but I knew I wouldn’t like what I’d find inside. Colgate, a sobbing mess, hating my guts.

Just what have I done to her?

“Lyra, wait.” It was Berry. Halting, I spun around to face her. “Don’t go in there.”

Oh, so she was still harboring resentment for me then. Great. Just what I need: two of my friends hating me. At this rate, even Bo—

No. Don’t even go there, Lyra Heartstrings. Stop that train of thought right now.

“Why shouldn’t I?” In hindsight, I was a bit defensive, but I saw this as my problem to solve, not Berry’s. 

“Because… you’re not the only one who can talk to her. You’re not the only one she needs right now.” A kinder way of saying ‘you’ve done enough damage’, no doubt. 

I stared at her. She wasn’t frowning, but had said her words with that calm authority a teacher might use. “Are you still mad?”

“A bit. You aggravated the situation.” Her tail flicked. “But from the looks of things down there… well, she had the wrong idea from the start. And, Lyra…” She stepped closer, lightly touching my cheek. When she withdrew her hoof, it was wet. “You look awful. Go home. I’ll handle this.”

I wiped at my eyes. Even if I was crying, I didn’t care. I was going to fix this. “No. This is all my fault. I’m going to put an end to her pain, and make her feel better again. I have to do this.” I tried to turn away, but Berry grabbed my shoulder and stopped me. I jerked away and tried to remove her hoof, but big surprise, the earth pony was stronger than me.

“Berry! Let go!” I cried, uselessly trying to get away. 

“Lyra. I swear to Luna… stop.” I stopped, looking at her, my vision blurred by the tears. “I can deal with Colgate. I want to help her. Let me have this.” I thought she’d brush me aside, but she didn’t. Instead, she stared me down and waited. I squirmed in place, trying to hold my ground. Berry didn’t move a muscle. Eventually, it was enough to make me slink away, go down the stairs and leave the house. 

I felt terrible, simply put. Shame filled every fiber of my being. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised that I messed something else up. ‘The more things change, the more they stay the same’ and all that. But I never saw it coming. That was the worst thing. The fact that I was so stupid, I never foresaw the consequences of my actions. Never bothered to check things out for what they really were. Lazy me, as per usual.

I was tempted to go into a bar and have a few drinks. Really tempted. But that was the easy way out, and I was done with drinking my problems away. I’d done enough of that when I first moved into Ponyville. Hay, if I hadn’t met Bon Bon, I probably would’ve died years ago from liver failure. Good thing I feel fine now, then.

It was how I met Berry, actually. We were both dealing with some pretty hard stuff. Her with her parents and me with my own failures. She sobered up first, which is probably why she’s always warning me about drinking, come to think of it. And to repay her for that, I break the heart of the mare she loved. Goddess, I’m a jerk.

I headed back to the one pony who would support me through this, without fail. 

Bon Bon was working at her stand, which was a bit odd, considering the time of day. That being the evening. I always think that she works just a bit too hard. Five days a week she’s at the stand and when she gets home, she bakes. After that, another day is spent just making more candy. She only gives herself one free day per week. She loves it, yeah, but sometimes she gets home looking so tired, although that means we snuggle and we both love that.

Bons was standing there, peering at the ponies who were wandering through the market. I guess she was trying to catch the evening wanderers. Her candies were eye-catching, as usual. I walked over to her and nuzzled the crook of her neck. She smelled of sweets, as usual. It was nice.

“Lyra, I thought I told you that—” I stopped nuzzling her, if only so she could see my face. Bon Bon doesn’t like it when I bug her during work, but this was different. Her expression softened. “Lyra? What’s wrong, dear?”

“I messed up,” I answered her, sniffling. “B-Big time.”

Bon Bon closed the stand, rolling down the cover on the front so that we wouldn’t be seen by any passersby. Then she sat me down and wrapped her forelegs around me, caressing my back and gently kissing me on the lips. She kissed away my tears too, and after a few minutes of the embrace, I wasn’t as big of a mess. 

“What happened?” she asked, then pecked my forehead.

“Colgate, Caramel… Caramel didn’t love her. Turner convinced him to reject her.” I buried my face in her soft chest, shaking my head. “She was so upset, Bon Bon. It was awful.” I was saying the information as plainly and quickly as I knew how to. If I talked about it more than I had to, I would’ve been in tears again. “All my fault.”

Bon Bon nodded. “And what about Berry?” Some other ponies would have moved to straight up comforting and telling me it was all okay. Bons was different though. She was a pony that liked to be patient, rational, and liked to know all the facts before making her own judgements. She’s a lot wiser than me, for certain. 

“Less mad at me. Still wanted me to back off, though…” Another nuzzle by me. She nuzzled my head in return.

It took her a few moments to digest and consider the information. But she never stopped holding me. She was firm, like a rock, but also comforting, like a perfect fillyfriend is. “I think you three need some time to think things through and recompose yourselves. Give Berry and Colgate a couple of days, hun, then go talk to them. I’m not going to say that you were completely in the right, Lyra. Maybe you shouldn’t have pushed Colgate as much as you did without informing Caramel. But…” She put a hoof under my chin and slowly raised my head so that my lips met hers. The kiss was sensual without being hungry. She broke off first, putting her hoof on my cheek. “You don’t deserve this amount of hurt.”

Bon Bon’s so rational, calm, and nice; my other half that had been empty for a long while. Maybe she’d be better off with somepony else, but Goddess, I’m glad love doesn’t always listen to reason. 

“Focus on your work career for now, yeah?” She ran a hoof through my mane. “I’ll try to talk to Berry and see if I can convince her that you were just being you.”

I sniffled, but gave her a weak smile. “By that do you mean a silly, lazy bum?”

“Yes.” I got a boop on my muzzle, then a kiss. “But I love you anyway.”

I wiped my eyes, my smile growing. “I love you too, Sweetie.”

“Come on, let’s go home,” she said, beginning to shut down her stand and gather her supplies. 

“You sure? It’s pretty early for you to—”

A hoof on my lips shut me up. “Yes. It’s about time I got back anyway.” Bons gently stroked my cheek, wiping away more tears. “We both could, by the looks of things.”

I nodded, then helped Bon Bon with her supplies. She’s a pretty tough mare, but she doesn’t own a cart to haul her stuff around in. Too much money for something she can do herself, she tells me. I could see her point, but using a cart would be so much easier for her…

The walk home didn’t take long. I opened up the door for Bon Bon and we both put her work things away. Then she went into the living room and sat down at a table at the end of the room. It was covered in small but extremely detailed figurines, most painted by Bons herself.

Yes, ladies and gentlecolts, my fillyfriend is a huge nerd.

She made a thoughtful noise as she looked over the figurines. “Lyra? Do you mind getting some Warmaul pieces down? I think they’ll need a repaint.”

“Sure.” I trotted up the stairs, then with my magic I brought down the ladder that lead up to the attic—Bon Bon’s nerdy place. I climbed up, then pumped more magic into my horn so I could see things better. Some ponies have said there’s an actual light spell, but I’ve never learned it. This method works fine, just about. 

The attic is filled to the brim with all sorts of nerdy things. Figures, games, comics, novels, costumes… even weapons. I’m serious. As I entered the attic, right to my left was a steel broadsword mounted on the wall. Bon Bon doesn’t trot around with them in public for two reasons: one, she can’t actually wield them properly, and two, going around town while carrying weapons can unsettle a lot of ponies. However, her parents were blacksmiths, so she got the weapons from them.

Bons’ parents are the grumpy, hard working sorts. Even worse than Raindrops. Suffice to say, we didn’t see eye-to-eye. But they did love their daughter, so I could tolerate them whenever they visited. And they tolerated me. Begrudgingly.

I searched around and got a couple of figures. Some ponies in armor, griffons and a minotaur. I headed back downstairs to see Bon Bon getting her paints ready. She does all the painting herself, despite lacking magic, and she’s pretty darn good at it too. 

“Thanks, hun,” she said, as I sat down beside her and gave her the figures. She took one of the pony ones, an earth pony in emerald armor, and dipped a brush in the appropriate paint. With delicate, tiny strokes, she reapplied the paint that was beginning to fade. 

I fidgeted. Something was still pressing on my mind. That failure of a job interview was beginning to make me question things. A lot of things. Like: “Am I a wasted opportunity?”

Before I knew it, the paintbrush was flying across the room. Bons picked me up and before I knew it, I was on the couch, wrapped up in her forelegs. She kissed my head soothingly. It felt comforting. “Don’t you ever say that, Lyra Heartstrings.” She didn’t raise her voice once, but there was steel in it. 

I nodded, not saying a thing. Tears wouldn’t come; I was too tired. Tired of everything blowing up in my face. Tired of getting pushed around by ponies who think they’re better than me. Tired of being a lazy bum. It was time for change, damn it. 

Sleep came without any warning. I don’t think Bon Bon minded though, bless her heart. I dreamt of us, together. It was a happy dream.





I actually woke up at the same time Bon Bon did, which was five in the morning. I had to check two times to make sure such a thing existed. After a filling breakfast, I was ready to venture to the Doo household once more. 

Well, I would have been, but by the time I was ready it was almost six-thirty. So I went back to sleep. This is what you get for sleeping so early; your body clock goes completely out of whack.

So I woke up for the second time that day and started all over again. Seriously, I even had breakfast again. Don’t blame me, I have a craving for oat cereal whenever I wake up. It was four in the afternoon, which seemed like a good time as any to visit the Doos. 

As I walked over to their home, a curious thought entered my head: Derpy is the only friend I know who’s a parent. Knowing that felt pretty weird. Despite being, well, a bit of a klutz, Derpy’s far more adult than I am. Hay, even Bon Bon and Kicky are less mature than her, in a way. 

I’m aware that Dinky wasn’t expected, but Derpy’s seemed to roll with her like it was nothing. For the love of Celestia, she’s got another one too! It never ceases to amaze me. As for me? I know kids aren’t my thing. Too much responsibility for me to handle. And I’m not saying that because I’m lazy, I’m saying that because a child needs the best care and protection it can get. I’m just not it.

I went up to the door and did the expected: knock knock knock. A cheery, “It’s open!” came from within. Opening the door, I was surprised by a lack of Dinky cutting off the circulation to my leg. Oh well, at least I could go up to Derpy with ease. She was in her living room, looking at a scrapbook on the table. 

“Hey Derpy,” I greeted her as I walked in. The photos in the scrapbook were your usual adorable affair: Derpy with her family, each appearance of Dinky almost overclocking my heart. In fact, everypony’s appearance did. All of the pictures had a lot of heart to them. What was a little surprising, however, was the presence of Kicky. I guessed that Derpy and her were starting to move forward in their relationship. I made a note to interrogate Kicky about that later. 

“Huh. Working on an album?” I asked.

If a nod could be bubbly, Derpy just pulled it off. “Yup! I try to add a little every month so I don't fall behind on new events.” She let out a cute giggle-snort. “I'm not as picture-happy as I used to be, but it's still pretty important to me.”

“Aaaw, that's sweet,” I smiled and sat down next to her. “Somepony's in a good mood today.” Derpy nodded again, adding in a picture drawn by Dinky. This was one of the ones that included ‘Mommy’s friend, Miss Klowd Kicker’. 

Heh. Children can’t spell and it’s cute.

Since she was in such a bright mood, I decided to go ahead with what I had come here for. “Well... I was wondering if I could ask a pretty big favor from you.”

Blinking, she took her hooves away from the album and looked at me. “Oh?”

“You know Tornado Day is coming up, right?”

“Yep! I've been practicing my air-to-air coordination for it. Rainbow wants all hooves on deck for that, and... well, I can't afford to send everypony spiralling to the ground in a mess of fur and feathers. Or setting the tornado on fire.” There was a small pause, and a sheepish smiled showed itself. “Again.”

I smirked, but secretly, I was feathering terrified that everything would go to Tartarus. Well, if it did, I would be the mailmare, so I could mail myself and Bon Bon to Canterlot.  “I was just wondering if I could borrow your job while you do all that prep and stuff. I know it's a lot to ask, but I need to build up my reputation here…”

Now she blinked two times. I couldn’t really blame her for the shock. “You actually want to wor—” She hastily amended herself. “To do my job for a bit?”

“Er, yep,” I flashed her an awkward grin. “Sorry if I'm asking too much.”

“No, it's—” She stopped to chew on her lip.

Crap. If she didn’t let me have this, then I had few other options. Okay, there was Carrot Top—she could always use the help—but… I really would have preferred to help Derpy. Being a mailmare felt far more esteemed than just helping a farmer with their crops. “It's...?”

“It's actually ... perfect.” My ears perked, and I felt a big silly grin appear on my face. “Rainbow's riding my rump about boosting my numbers for Tornado Day, but I'm already stretched thin with the ponies with work, and after work.”

Wow, we were both winners in this? “Oh, great! You'd have to show me the ropes and everything, but after that, you won't have to worry about a thing!”

“It's not that hard, really—mostly you just have to remember which streets intersect with which other ones and making sure you don't mix up ponies' mail when you make your delivery.” She paused, pondering. “Hay, I'd bet the cloudsiders' mail won't even need to be touched--they're all training for the tornado anyway, so they'll probably just come to the post office and pick it up before going home.”

More good news, I supposed. Even so, it was probably still hard work. “I bet you make it look easy, though.” I leant towards her, hugging my savior. Goddess, she’s so cuddly. “Thanks so much, Derpy. I really needed this.” Even if I was helping her out as well, I still felt like I owed her. Even if it was just for her bubbly nature. 

Derpy returned the embrace, and we were all nice and snug. “Hey, thank you! We can meet up with Tool Time later and sort things out. Make sure you know the ropes. Hay, with all the help he's losing to the tornado, he'll probably hire you on the spot just for being there.”

“Heh, that makes things simpler. Although I expect that he'll be surprised to see me turn up, looking for work.” I gave her a squeeze, a very important question on my mind. “How in the world do you manage to be so cuddly?”

“Years of practice, and the perfect little filly to help me hone it.” There was that delightful giggle again. Let me make it clear: I wasn’t about to start falling in love with Derpy. I was fully content with Bon Bon. But I could see her positives, and they were pretty amazing ones. “According to her, I'm just the right amount of 'squishy'.”

“I'll say. I could do this all day, but where's your snarky daughter hanging about?” As cuddly as Derpy was, she didn’t have the sassy, sarcastic edge that Sparkler had. And that was something that never failed to amuse me. 

“She went out to the park for a bit. Something about needing needing extra time for chemistry.”

I shot her a blunt look. “The park. For chemistry,” I deadpanned. 

“I think she's forgotten that I was a teenager once too, back before the invention of steampower.” She looked at me with a knowing grin. “Playing coy about having her first crush…”

I smirked, hatching up an idea in my head. If Sparkler was with her crush, then I could always see how the two were getting along. Oh, and tease them, of course. “I can make sure they're not mixing up their chemicals, if you want.”

“Thanks. I don't want to smother her, but …” She bit her lip, finding the words. “... she is my daughter. I just want to make sure she's okay.” After a beat, she added, “And that Ratchet Time's hooves don't go the way of the bison and begin roaming where they shouldn't be.”

I snickered quietly. Derpy could be pretty witty when she wanted to. “That's a good one. Anyway, I'll go ahead and check on them. Thanks again for the help, I really don't deserve your kindness.”

“Life's rarely about what we deserve. More often than not, it's just doing what we can with what's given to us.” Smiling, she patted my shoulder. “And I'm more than happy to give you a chance. Also, maybe a muffin or two for the road.”

Oh, the prospect of having Derpy’s muffin sounded delicious indeed. 

… Stupid sexy Cloud Kicker… Stupid sexy Derpy. 

“Mmm…” I wiped my mouth to stop drooling. Over the food muffin. “That sounds good, actually.”

Derpy grinned at me, getting off the couch. I couldn’t tell if she was amused by my drooling, or that she knew that I found her sexy. I admit it: Derpy has got the stuff. But sexiness does not equate to the ideal romantic partner. I already had mine, and I could never see myself with Derpy. I don’t think we meshed together like that.

I followed her to the icebox, where she got a chocolate chip muffin out for me. I devoured it down, while she had three all to herself. After the light snack, I set out towards the park to find my grumpy teen of a friend.

I ended up in a bush.

It was intentional, this time, I swear. I wanted to see the couple in action, how they acted around each other, stuff like that. Then I could get a good scope on the nature of the relationship. 

… Okay, maybe—no, definitely—I had definitely messed up with Colgate and Caramel. But I hadn’t really seen the two together much apart from a few get-togethers. This time, I was going in serious, steady and… er… something else that begins with ‘s’. Stealthy! That’s the one.

So there I was in a bush, spying on two teenagers. Yeeeah, does sound a little creepy, but in my defense, Sparkler is more mature than me. 

… geeze, that wasn’t so much a defense as a self-inflicted insult. 

Peering at the two, there wasn’t much to go on yet. They were just kinda talking. I assumed the stallion was Ratchet. My ears twitched, but not because I was straining to hear them. No, somewhere next to me there was a shuffling sound, branches being snapped and broken. 

I blinked. “What the…” Looking to my side, I saw her. I felt my heart tighten.

“Hi Miss Lyra! Are you practicin' bein' sneaky?” Dinky whispered, shuffling up close to me. 

“Dinky?” I whispered back. “How the—shouldn't you be at home?”

Dinky looked down, her muzzle scrunched up as she thought. “Umm... bush noises.” She shook the branches of the bush, then brought out some binoculars and looked through them. Clever girl.

“Well, as long as you're with a responsible adult.” I stopped and thought pretty hard about where I was, who I was, and what I just said. “An adult.”

“Yah-huh!” Her grin slowly turned agape when she looked through the binoculars. “Whoa... I didn't think they were that far away…” I turned them the right way around for her. “Ooohh, that’s how they go! Thanks Miss Lyra!” She sure was her mother’s child alright. Adjusting in her position, she pulled out a drawing of the area. It was crude, but adorably cute; everything was drawn in crayon. Two stick ponies had ‘Sparky’ and ‘Ratchet’ over them, with biohazard warnings (with Derpy as a mom, it’s no surprise she knows those warning signs) around them, the words ‘Kooties! Blek!’ floating nearby. A green bush had ‘Me’ written over it. Dinky added ‘Miss Lyra’ onto the diagram. 

I couldn’t help but let out a quiet giggle, snorting at the same time. “Oh Dinky, are you sure you want to witness some cooties?”

Dinky shook her head. “Nuh-uh! But I wanna help prevent 'em, so Sparky doesn't get disfected.” She stuck her tongue out at that. Funnily enough, I never minded cooties when I was a small kid. To me, they were just love points. 

“I think she's immune by now.” That’s what I usually said to children about cooties; you get immune eventually. Sometimes that works to get them over it, sometimes it doesn’t.

In any case, I brought my attention back to the couple. They were doing that shy thing. Y’know, nudging each other and pretending not to acknowledge it but really they love it. It was adorable though, considering Sparkler’s face had turned a nice peach color. “Hnnngh. Okay, that's adorable, but... get on with it already.”  As nice as it was, this was just crush-level stuff. I needed to see more chemistry between the two if anything was gonna work between the two of them. 

I paused to consider what I just said. “Goddess, I sound strange saying that about teens…”

“Nuh-uh, Mommy says your silly, not strange.” Thanks for the vote of confidence? Bah, silly is better than sloppy, I guess. “Anyway, ya don't get immue t' cooties 'till you're older.” Dinky stopped, considering something. “I think I heard Miss Cloud Kicker say somethin' to Sparky 'bout condos?”

I almost choked on air. “Er, um…” I fumbled with my hooves, looking at Dinky. “Kicky was being silly when she said that. I should really teach her a lesson.” For the record, this officially makes me more responsible with kids than her. 

“Oh. A'kay.” We went back to our super secret spy work.

Ratchet looked both ways, then brought his foreleg up, slowly extending it towards Sparkler and not-so-slyly parking it on her shoulder. She giggled and settled into his embrace. Okay, that was better.

“Corny, but effective. He's in,” I whispered. Contrary to popular belief, moves like that can work, but only at the beginning of a relationship. Once you’ve spent a month or so together, try more original ideas. It shows you care. 

Dinky made a retching sound. “Sparky’s gonna hafta take a looooooong bath t'night.”

“A bubble bath, right?”

Dinky nodded with the wisdom of a sage. “With lotsa bubbles. An' soap, an' shampoo. Maaaaaaybe some bleach too, 'cause cooties're rilly hard t' get rid of.”

I had to double-take at that. Had Derpy never told Dinky the dangers of bleach? I mean, sure, maybe it doesn’t seem as important in a household where anything can set aflame, but bleach can still be a child killer. “Erm, no, Dinky. Never add bleach to a bath. It'll take your skin off.”

I kept an eye on the couple when a random passerby walked past. The two instantly separated a little from each other, looking away and trying to downplay everything. Obviously this wasn’t an ‘official’ thing yet.

“Oooh. Owie. Maybe somethin' else?” Dinky asked.

“I think the soap's enough.” I grinned and nudged my companion. “Heh, they're not public yet.”

Dinky stuck out her tongue, looking disgusted. “But they're out in the park!”

The pair of teens awkwardly settled back into leaning against each other. As they did that, I wrapped a foreleg around Dinky and brought her closer. “I mean, they're not wanting to show everypony that they're in love.”

Dinky nodded. “Good. That means Sparky's not totally overa—ove—” She grumbled, stopping that attempt. “Ratchet's cooties aren't all infectin' her an' stuff yet.”

“Nah, not yet.” At that moment, I realised something. I had pretty much everything I needed at this point; the two clearly weren’t going to take things further. At least, not in the park. “Wait, why exactly are we hiding?”

“'Cause ya can't be sneaky if ya don't hide,” Dinky replied. To be honest, her logic, while childish, made sense. 

“But do we need to be sneaky?”

“Yah-uh. ‘cause of reasons.” She adjusted the binoculars a little.

And that’s when I formed a brilliant plan. “You know, we could just walk up and start embarrassing them…” I grinned at her, hoping she’d catch on.

“Yeah, but then Sparky'd know it was me! 'sides, Daring Do always takes notes, so I should do that too 'fore I do anythin', right?” 

“Makes sense.” I looked over her so called notes. They were nothing more than unintelligible words on the map she had drawn. They were clearly letters, yeah, but can you tell me what ‘Put the Muffin in the Klowd’ is supposed to mean? “What does it say?”

“Um…” She stared at her writing. Even she looked confused. For a minute, she just looked at it. “... itsa code, for rilly 'portant super-secret spy stuff, 'kay?”

“Ooooo, right.” I nodded, then ruffled her mane. “I getcha. Super Secret Agent Dinky stuff.” Sometimes, it’s best to play along with a child’s fantasy. It’s like this: would you like it if someone read a story you were writing and said it was terrible and made no sense? No, you’d probably be pissed. And for children, being pissed means a temper tantrum.

“Yah-huh! It's just hard when you're lookin' through bino-kyewlarz an' stuff, 'cause ya can't see the paper t' make proper words, so ya gotta write in code.” She nodded sagely again.

I hid a small snicker by covering my mouth with a hoof. “Alright then. I might just go up and talk to them, though.”

“A'kay. I'll stay here an' keep takin' Super Secret Agent notes an' stuff,” she said.

“Good filly,” I replied, ruffling her mane again. 

Dinky put down her binoculars in order to give me a very nice hug. “Careful, 'kay? Ya could get cooties if ya get too close.”

I smiled, squeezing her gently. “Yeah, I'll be careful.” I tapped her on the muzzle, looking at her seriously. “And don't go anywhere without letting me know, okay?”

“I won't.” She went back to peering through the binoculars. “You just make sure Sparky's a'kay, a'kay?”

“Will do, Dinky. Don’t worry about her.” With that said, I crawled out of the bush and approached Sparkler. Of course, I went the long way around and cleared the leaves from my mane as to avoid suspicion. Once I was there, though, I put on a wide smile. “Oh, hi Sparkler!”

“Eep!” She jumped and turned to look at me. Some of the color drained from her face. Hah! A second in and already this was getting good. “Oh... hey, Lyra.”

Ratchet coughed awkwardly and the two shared a look, before he stared at me. “Hey, Miss Lyra.” After a pause, he shuffled closer to Sparkler. An odd move, considering my presence. He must have been trying to assert his authority. 

That’s one of the reasons why I don’t find stallions attractive, actually. Most stallions, even the nice ones—believe me, some stallions are really great ponies—have this tendency to feel like they have to protect their one true mare. With mares, you don’t really get that, so I feel like more of an equal to my partner.

“Are you Ratchet? Pleasure to meet you. Sparkler must have already told you about me then.” I looked away and flicked my head, sweeping my mane out of my eyes. “Sparkler's cool adult friend.”

“I'm... ah, Ratchet. You might know my Uncle Tool Time at the post office, or my dad, Hammer?” He sounded a little nervous, but a nice kid all the same. Politeness was a big plus.

“I've heard of them, yeah,” I answered. Not much else to say, since I didn’t know them all too well.

Sparkler made some embarrassed sounds that I couldn’t decipher, then ended it with a cough. “Lyra. Ratchet. Ratch? Lyra.”

“That's me,” I grinned and tossed my mane again. “The social, outgoing adult mare who's good friends with Sparkler.”

Ratched blinked, then looked at me as if he actually knew who I was. “Oh, yeah, the music mare hob—” A sharp nudge from Sparkler stopped him in his tracks. Points for politeness: lost. C’mon, it was obvious what he was gonna say. “Music mare substitute that came in. Sorry I missed that class, it sounded good.”

Now it was my turn to blink and cough. “Oh, y-yeah. It was real fun. The class was a riot…” 

“It was awesome. Seriously, you should come back,” Sparkler said. Was she being sarcastic? I was too flustered to tell. Why did they spring this on me?!

I answered her with an awkward laugh. “Heh heh... nah. Gotta move on and aspire to new things, right?” Never going back to that place. Nope. I’m done working with teenagers. The Cutie Mark Crusaders would’ve been an easier option—and I realise how poor a comparison that is.

“Eh, I guess…” Sparkler offered.

Ratchet shrugged, trying to subtly shuffle closer to his mare. “Still, it sounds like I missed an interesting class.”

“... interesting is one word for it,” I said, then coughed. I could think of another great word for it: a-huge-bucking-waste-o’-time. What? It’s one word. “So, how are you two doing?”

“Fine,” Ratchet quickly said.

“Totally fine,” Sparkler added.

“Very fine,” Ratchet repeated. The whole exchange was over in about three seconds.

“You won't mind if I join you two, then?” I said, suppressing a grin. I failed.

“Cooly fine. On this fine day.” Sparkler gestured around her.

“That's fine,” Ratched added.

“Well, I couldn't help but notice how close you two are to each other…” I spoke as I sat down next to Sparkler. Ratchet instinctively tightened his hold over her.

Sparkler went first. “We're fine.”

Then Ratchet. “Totally fine.”

“And close.”

“Very close,” Ratchet finished. Geeze, even foals spoke longer sentences than these two. Still, that meant my teasing was working.

“Mhm. A pony might start thinking things about you both.” I laughed under my breath.

“Yes. Silly things.” That was Sparkler.

“Many things,” Ratchet said, coughing.

I let a bit of silence hang, allowing the two to actually think about said things. Sparkler seemed to finally get it, looking at Ratchet curiously. “Accurate things?”

Ratchet slowly nodded. “... yeah, accurate things.”

Now it was time to move in for the kill. I put my hooves on their shoulders, then pushed them right up to each other so their warm, flushed cheeks touched. “And maybe those accurate things are nice things, huh?”

Both of them went as red as an apple covered in red paint. “Verynice,” Ratchet spoke, so fast I could barely catch him.

I giggle-snorted, deciding to cut them some slack and end my act. “Oh give it up, you two. It's so obvious even Dinky can see.” I hesitated. Oops. “But not literally. That'd be stupid.”

Sparkler caught onto that pretty quickly, damn it, judging by her teenage groan. Ratchet though, seemed confused. “What about Dinky now?”

“Nothing. Just making a comparison,” I shot back, doing my best not to look at the foliage Dinky was hiding in. 

“Eeeyah…” Sparkler drawled out. Damn it, stop being so smart.

Luckily, a squeeze from Ratchet seemed to throw her off the scent. Plus, he even went onto a new topic of conversation. “So, Lyra, what brings you out here?”

“My love detector started going haywire, so I decided to try and track the source of the disturbance,” I said, with a confident smile.

Sparkler snorted in disbelief. “'Love detector'? What, does it go 'bing' when there's love around?”

“Yep. Bing! Bing! Bing! Oooo, what do we have here?” It sounds silly, but we Heartstrings have always tended to sense the love in other ponies. I’m not sure when that started, considering our family origins, which were less than lovey-dovey. 

Ratchet rolled his eyes and explained with the dullness and reluctance of a typical teenage stallion. “Yeah, yeah. Sparks and I hit it off all right after a class project, so…”

Sparkler finished things off for him, seeming more engaged. “Figured we'd see how things go. Plenty of time to see if we can make things work.”

Suffice to say, I was impressed with that. “Wow. That's pretty sensible and mature, actually. Nothing like some of the ponies I knew back when I was your age. Granted, I never was really interested in those things... until Kicky came along, but that's a different story.” My gaze drifted away for a moment, as I licked my lips and remembered those, sweet, sweet, sexy memories. “Mmm.”

Oh, right. Two teens were staring at me. Both wide-eyed and moving away from me. I frowned and began to get back on track. “Haven't spoken to her in a while... Anyway, you two. How do you think things are going?”

“Fine.”

A nod from Sparkler. “Very fine.”

Here we go again… “Totally fine.”

If I had a watch, I’d be looking at it right then. “Finely fine.”

See the hoofball game recently? I didn’t, but… “Nicely fine.”

I mean, I’m not a die-hard fan of hoofball, but it’s fun I guess. “Finer than Miss Rarity's chinaware.” Ooo, that was a good one.

Finally! They were done. “Geeze, you two are more awkward than the time I was caught ba—” Uh-oh, more sexy thoughts creeping in. “An awkward thing that's awkward. Let's sort that out.”

Too late, it’d seem. “Gaaaah! Lyra!” Sparkler shivered in her seat. “Thanks for that image!”

Ratchet didn’t quite catch on though. Either because stallions generally don’t, or he was just dumb. Maybe both. “What?”

“Nothing,” I answered.

He blinked slowly. “What?”

“Nothing!” Sparkler exclaimed, and a sharp nudge from her ended any questions.

“Anywaaaay…” I began. “I want you two to know that it's okay if you love each other and want to make it official.”

Both of them stared at me, eyebrows raised.

“Uuuh, okay?”

“Thanks?”

I waved a hoof at them. “Oh stop pretending it's not happening. C'mon, nuzzle each other.”

Redness of Sparkler’s cheeks, increasing. “Okay, okay, fine…” She leaned in and gave Ratchet a tiny nuzzle, which he returned. It was forced, but I could see a spark in there. Geddit? 

The Inconspicuous Bush made a noise. “Bleg!” Sparkler jumped, stopping all nuzzling. 

Crud. I had to act fast, lest I revealed my accomplice. “BLEG!! Ack!” I kept hacking and wheezing. “Sorry, something got caught in my throat. But didn't that feel nice?”

Ratchet gave me a suspicious glance, but Sparkler had sussed it out, her head in her hooves. “Oh dear gods... Dinky?”

The bush made more sound. “... bush noises?”

“Dinky? Where?” I looked around, trying to find that adorable little filly. “I don't see or hear a Dinky.”

Sparkler groaned into her hooves. “Dear Luna, kill me now.”

I wasn’t giving up on Dinky, no way in hay. “All I hear are inconspicuous bush noises.”

Sparkler let out a loud, irritated moan. “Dinkyyy!” The bush rustled for a moment, then stopped. My partner in crime was out and safe from being compromised. Mission accomplished, report back to base, Dinky. “Dear Luna on the moon…”

“I think it’s cute...?” Ratchet offered.

Well, the game was up, but with Dinky safely away, I could start being truthful. “Okay, it was her. But she's just being a little sister. I better go after her, huh?” Time to make my escape too. Sparkler groaned, giving no indication that she’d whap me upside the head for this incident. “Well... have fun!”

I started to go, but stopped when I formed an idea of how to turn things around for them. I leaned near Ratchet’s ear and whispered, “Now's your chance to score some gentlecolt points.”

“Uh... how?” he whispered back.

“Comfort her. Let her know it's okay. Heck, make fun of me if you want to. Take some of the embarrassment off her.” I didn’t mind some fun being poked at me. Sparkler did that enough already, which I was fine with. Her charm was in her snarkiness.

When Ratchet nodded at me, I trotted off and let them be. I saw Dinky, heading back to her house, so I sped up to follow her and make sure she got back okay. I took one last look at the embarrassed couple and saw Ratchet hugging and consoling Sparkler, thus bringing them closer together.

Okay, so sometimes maybe I am a genius. 
> The Pony Who Has Never Worked a Day in Her Life
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Bon Bon nudged me awake in bed. “Come on, Lyra, time to get up.”

“Noooooooo…” I groaned, burying my head under a pillow. I couldn’t believe I was doing this: getting up for work. Judging by the faint light outside, Celestia herself had only just woken up. I dreaded to think of what the time was. 

“Lyra, I am not going to let you mess this up. You’re going to work, even if I have to drag you there kicking and screaming. Wouldn’t that make a good impression?” I didn’t have to look at Bons to tell that she was glaring at me. I didn’t exactly want to piss her off, so—

Oooookay, Bon Bon, I guess you’re dragging me out of bed. She had gripped onto my tail with her teeth and started pulling me out of the bed, causing me to flop on the floor, getting bad carpet burn on my stomach. “Ow! Oooow! Bon Booooon!”

She released my tail for a moment. “Oh shush, hun. You’ve had worse in bed.”

… Touché.

I still didn’t want any more carpet burn though, so I got up and trudged downstairs. Bon Bon gave me a kiss on the cheek for my efforts, which helped as a little pick-me-up. We ate breakfast together, a simple affair: just oats and toast. It went by in silence, but that was because I was too tired to do much talking. So I just sat next to Bon Bon and ate. 

Then I brushed my teeth, had a quick shower, then got into my uniform. Just the mailmare hat and the satchel. I looked at myself in the mirror in the bedroom to see if everything checked out okay. Judging by Bon Bon’s expression, it did.

“You look adorable, hun,” she said, kissing me on the cheek. I couldn’t help but blush. It felt odd, being on the first day of a new job. Derpy had shown me what to do over the past couple days, but this time I’d be on my own. It was like the first day of school, only I was trying not to pull a tantrum over the whole thing.

Surprisingly, I was out of the door first. It swung open, cold morning air pouring into the house. My coat stood on end, and not just because of the cold. “I’m nervous.”

“You’ll do fine, dear.” Bon Bon nuzzled my cheek while I stared outside. It looked like the beginning of a horror story; mist lurking all around and all that. I didn’t want to go outside. I just wanted to go back in my warm bed and sleep. “At the end of the day, we’ll bang, okay?”

Well, that got me out of the house.

I cantered briskly to the post office, the cold helping me speed along. Ponyville felt like a ghost town, which was a blessing and a curse in equal measure. On the one hoof, nopony would stop to ask me what I was doing, but on the other, I could be snoozing away like them. 

Walking in, I went to the earth pony who’d give me my orders for today. I didn’t bother talking much; I wouldn’t be sticking around. The stallion filled my satchel with hundreds of letters and a few packages, the weight almost dragging me down. Joy. I put on my best smile, thanked him, and went on my way.

It actually wasn’t too bad. The weight of the satchel was bothersome, but I eventually adjusted. I went along each house, since that’d save me criss-crossing town if I went by each letter I found. Magic made it easier to sort them too, so I could afford to stand and find the right letter, then move on. 

First house: Lily. I levitated the letters, out of the satchel and looked through them like a deck of cards. She just had bills, I think, so I stuffed them in the letterbox. And… that was that. I’d made my first delivery! I actually felt really proud for some reason, so I skipped to the next house, grinning. It was Daisy’s. Bam! Letters for her! Now the next house: Roseluck. Delivery spree!

I know it wasn’t much but… I was working! Honest, hard work! It kinda felt good, truthfully. Things were finally looking up for me. Ponies would see me doing this and think: ‘Hey, maybe Lyra Heartstrings isn’t so bad after all’, and then I could get a better job. A more permanent job anyway.

And then the next house was Colgate’s.

I tried not to feel guilty as I looked over it. I was working a job, not wallowing in self-pity. All I had to do was find her letters, put them in her box, then be on my way. Simple, right?

It would’ve been, had she not opened the door and walked up to me. “Morning, Lyra.”

“Hey, Colgate.” I couldn’t exactly leave her now, especially not after that farce of a party. I needed to talk to her anyway. Now wasn’t the best time though. “You doing okay?”

She rubbed her eyes. “Mhm, I guess. Berry and I had a long talk.”

“About…?” I waved my hoof for her to continue.

“Things, Lyra.” She patted the mailbox and I put in her letters. 

“Oh, right. Well…” I moved up next to her. “I want to talk about things with you too, alright?” She nodded and I moved in for a hug. Colgate returned it and I held her for a couple of seconds, swaying a bit. 

“So… you’re finally working, huh?” she asked. “Took your time,” she added, smirking at me.

“It’s only temporary,” I shot back. “You’ll see, after Tornado Day, I’ll be right back in your house, eating chips on the couch.”

“Remind me to change the locks on my door then,” she replied, voice dripping with sarcasm. 

“You could try that. I mean, it’d be a waste of money, but if it makes you feel more secure...” Grinning, I ruffled her mane. Mooching at my friend’s houses is one of the things I excel at, for some reason. Most of them are used to it by now, but it’s a habit I should stop. I would, if all my friends didn’t stock such great food.

Colgate seemed fine for the time being at least. Whatever she and Berry had talked about, it had clearly healed her somewhat. I still wanted to talk to her myself though, for closure on both our parts. “Sorry, Brushie, but I really can’t stay. Job and all.” I shrugged my shoulder, causing the satchel to jump. 

“And I forgot to bring my camera too. Shame,” she said, smirking. It soon faded though. “We’ll talk later.”

I nodded at her. “Good. I’ll visit when I can.” I adjusted my satchel, feeling the weight bear down on me. “I’ve got a feeling I’ll drop down from exhausation when I finish, though…”

Colgate offered a reassuring smile, flashing those incredibly white teeth of hers. “Don’t rush for my sake, Lyra. You’re important, too.”

“Yeah. That’s exactly why I’m doing this in the first place.” It felt kind of good to admit that. “See ya later, Colgate.”

“Good luck, Lyra. Don’t mix-match your letters!” Taking her letters up in her magic, she waved, then went back inside. 

Alright, next house. I trotted up, read the address, then searched through my satchel. I got out a small brown package and read who it was sent for. Odd pony naming conventions aside, I didn’t think that there was a pony called ‘ink smudge’. Seriously, the ink had blurred, making the words completely unreadable, including the address.

Great. So I had a package that could have been for anypony in town. Derpy didn’t tell me how to deal with this! Wait… did she? I can’t remember. Must have been a small detail I didn’t think relevant at the time. Well I wasn’t heading back to the post office in shame. Not on my first day! It’s just as well I had a good plan then. 

Off the wrapping came. Whatever was in it might have helped me identify who it belonged to. I opened the black cardboard box that I uncovered, and I nearly threw the thing to the ground in shock when I saw what was inside. I looked around to make sure no one was watching, then stared at the item in disbelief. I knew who it was for, that much was obvious, but… really? Somepony would send this?

Whatever. Time to deliver and be done with it.





After I stuck a dildo in Cloud Kicker’s mailbox, I went about completing the rest of my workload. By now, the initial excitement had worn off, replaced by tediousness. The amount of letters seemed neverending, and half of them were probably junk mail anyway. At least Derpy has wings so she can go faster with this boring crap.

Stop at house, check house, check letters, deliver letters. Rinse and repeat. A couple of times you found something interesting, like a detail on somepony’s house you’ve never noticed before, or kiss marks on a letter, but mostly they were all white envelopes. 

Y’know what post office work I would’ve preferred? Licking stamps. That’d be amazing.

But at least the job stayed relatively simple and consistent. I didn’t have to worry about any guard dogs or cliché stuff like that either. Nope, it was an easy walk to the letterbox, then an easy trip to the next one. Occasionally I’d have a brief conversation to spice things up, but I couldn’t really enjoy them, since I always knew that I’d have to get going again soon.

However, that was a major boon when it came to one certain pony.

“Lyra Heartstrings? Actually doing work?” Cherry came to her mailbox, snorting. “This must be a joke. An elaborate scheme to get out of something.”

“Yeah, maybe I farted in your mail or something.” Crude, I know, but sometimes that’s the most effective thing there is. I looked over her letters with disinterest. It was so tempting to just throw them down on the ground and stomp on them, but I had a job, so there were standards I had to adhere to. 

“Eugh. That’s totally something you’d do. Just give me my mail,” she said, eyes focusing on me, annoyance burning inside them. Heh, I had no idea simply getting a job ticked her off so much. Maybe I should do it more often.

“Yeah, I am. Keep your mane on.” Admittedly, I nearly said ‘shitty, pee-stained mane’ there. I held the letters in my hoof and put them in the letterbox, then closed it.

Cherry let out an annoyed huff. “You could’ve just handed them to me directly.” She got the letters out herself, her movements tense. Maybe too tense.

Wait a second…

She was trying to goad me into taunting! Son of a—that’s exactly the sort of dirty trick Cherry would pull off! Once this startling revelation came to pass, I struggled to keep my temper in check. I forced a bright smile. “Have a great day!” Then I walked off, not giving her a second glance. Phew, too close. Had I exploded at her, she might have gotten me fired over it. What a mule…

Bah, never mind. At least she was gone now. The rest of the day went along fairly smoothly. I had a big sandwich for a lunch break, then kept chugging along, exactly like a train would. Really, I was starting to get a bit sweaty from all the walking around. In my defense, it was a sunny day. The satchel getting gradually lighter helped things, but I still felt exhausted by the time I came to the last house.

But then I put in the final letters, and I felt… a surge of exuberance. There was a day of work: done. My work day had been completed. It was an achievement, my achievement—even if a small one. I had actually pulled it off. Maybe I wasn’t so lazy after all. 

I practically skipped back to the post office, brimming with pride. I stopped skipping when a painful stitch came up, so I stuck to walking. In the post office, I signed some stuff so all my co-workers could see I had completed my rounds, and then I went back home. It was only the afternoon when I got back, so Bon Bon wasn’t home yet. 

I faceplanted onto the bed. It felt so warm, so comfy and rewarding. My body ached and I was sweating a bit, but I had never felt better. With all my obligations for the day dealt with, I fell asleep. It was the only sensible course of action to take. Or, well, non-action in this case.

I didn’t end up banging Bon Bon that night. Only because I was too tired for it, and bangs with Bon Bon tended to get a bit on the… aggressive side. It didn’t stop us from snuggling though, which was just as nice. 

“One down, so well done for that,” Bon Bon said, her foreleg wrapped around me. “Let’s see if you can keep up the consistency, hm?”

“Mmmm…” I grumbled. I tried kiss her to shut her up, but the effort to stretch up and do it was too taxing. So I just settled for nuzzling the crook of her neck. Sleep took hold a few minutes later.

And that was my work routine. The next morning was the same as the last, and so was the walk to work. It was almost funny how quickly it had become mundane. I dreaded trotting around the whole town again, but reluctantly accepted it. If I did this, then I’d be able to get jobs that required less walking. 

Much to my surprise, my earth pony superior had something different in mind for today. I saw him peering at me when I walked into the room. He scratched his beard. “Your load is ‘round back, Lyra,” he said, jerking his head back.

“Alright then, thanks.” I didn’t have much to be thankful for but, y’know, courtesy. I trotted around the back of the building, expecting to find a sack of letters. Instead I found a crate on a cart. It looked heavy. Way too heavy for a mare of my stature. I tried to look around for something else—anything lighter—but I turned up short. I guess with all the pegasi in town busy with Tornado Day, I’d pulled the short straw.

At least the delivery would be in Ponyville. I checked the address on the crate. 

Canterlot. I swore under my breath. 

Did my boss really expect me to take this all the way there?! Son of a mule crossed with a goat, this really sucked dragon balls. And guess what? Because I had a job, I couldn’t exactly go complain. No, I had to do this!

I sighed irritably and attached myself to the cart, then pulled it along. If I was going to do this, then I was doing this the Lyra way. That being the easiest way possible. It was time to catch a train.

Thankfully, the cart did make things easier. True, I had to use more effort while walking than I usually did, but at least I wasn’t dragging the cart along. But that fact was of little comfort. I shouldn’t have had to do this in the first place. I thought I was only making deliveries in Ponyville. Sigh. I should really read contracts properly before signing them.

I lugged the cart all the way to the train station, then left it behind. From here on out, I’d have to levitate the crate. You may wonder why I didn’t do that in the first place. Well… it’s something of a touchy issue for me. My magic level was low-delta, which was lower than the average, and just above being considered magically handicapped. That meant I didn’t have much magical juice to expend. Hands I could keep up all day; they’re more mentally taxing than magically draining. Carrying a heavy crate, on the other hoof? That was something I needed to pump my magic into.

Good thing I had planned ahead, otherwise I’d have to go back home for my purse. Taking it out of my satchel, I paid the fare, then carried the crate to the platform and sat down with it. Just what was in it anyway? Considering the type of business in Ponyville, it was probably a bunch of food some pony had ordered. That wasn’t an unusual occurrence. Sugarcube Corner was famous enough to get orders from as far as Manehattan.

I didn’t wait long to get a train. Ponyville was close enough to Canterlot that trains to it went by several times per every couple hours. When one came into the station, one of the porters kindly helped me put the crate in the luggage carriage. Once that was done, I sat down on the train and had a bit of time to relax.

I sat in my usual manner, which earned me a lot of curious looks from the other passengers, but I didn’t pay them any attention. Once they understood the comfiness of sitting on your butt, then I’d like to see them complain. I’ve had a few ponies say to me that it just isn’t healthy for a pony’s body to be arranged like that, but then I say that I’ve never had any back problems. Maybe I’m just special in that regard.

As soon as the train rolled out of the station, I could see the capital in the distance. I’ve always loved Canterlot; it looks exactly like the castles and cities you’d find in fairy tale books. Sure, the ones with Princes and Princesses never featured true love—I learned that pretty quickly as a filly—but they all had wonderful worlds to explore and lose yourself in. 

The sight of the city always serves to awe me. When I first look upon it anyway. After the initial delight fades, I have to ride out the rest of the trip in bored silence. Undermountain is cool, and a stop on the way, but I’ve never really gotten out to explore it much. It must be so cool living under all that rock, in the dark. 

I almost fell asleep on the way there, but I kept slapping myself whenever my eyes felt heavy. Again, got weird looks, but who’s counting? The train stopped at Canterlot and I got off, taking the crate with me in my magic field.

Having lived in Canterlot for years, I was familiar with how the place was set up. It’s divided into loose ‘districts’. The shops, the nobles, the entertainment area, the lower-class… all those different things are usually grouped together, and their street names almost always relate. So despite not knowing exactly where my crate was to be delivered to—that being Sprinkle Street—I knew roughly where it’d be. Sprinkle Street sounded like something to do with foods, so I assumed it’d be around the small-time bakeries. 

The walk took a while, as I kept having to stop to take breaks so I didn’t burn out. Eventually I got to the street, which had a cobblestone road and lots of nice little cafés and bakeries running down each side. I slowed my pace, checking each number of the buildings. My destination was numbered ‘thirty-two’. I wasn’t surprised when I came up to a small bakery called ‘Glaze’s Doughnuts’. My guess was that the crate contained ingredients the owner needed. 

I headed in, the door knocking the bell and making it ring. Carefully, I inserted the crate through the gap and placed it down gently on the peach colored tiled floor. “Uh… delivery!” I called out.

A pink earth mare with a light blue mane came out from the room behind the counter. She stopped when she saw me, gasping a little, probably because she assumed I’d be a pegasus. Still, she smiled at me and said, “Thank you, dear. I’ve been expecting that little number for a while now. Please, feel free to have one of my treats.”

Free food? Hah! Maybe this job wasn’t so bad after all!

I picked out the biggest doughnut I could find, covered in chocolate icing and rainbow sprinkles. Giggling a little, the mare put it a nice little paper bag for me, which I eagerly took. “Thanks!” I exclaimed, grinning, then trotted out of the door.

I was in Canterlot, munching on a really good doughnut, with the rest of the day free. If I had any other deliveries, I would’ve been notified by my boss or by some note on the crate. But I didn’t come across either of them. So, I had some time to kill.

That’s when I remembered that I had promised to visit my parents soon. Sure, they were a bit of a walk away, but I didn’t mind making that journey considering I was already in Canterlot. Plus, coming up to them with my uniform, telling them I’d found work would definitely be a nice surprise for them.

I finished my doughnut (Goddess, it was luscious) then made my way to the Heartstrings’ residence. We had our little bit of land in the rich part of Canterlot, but it wasn’t much compared to what other nobles had. The reason for this was mostly out of principle. Unlike other Houses, we Heartstrings didn’t send off our children to get married to some other noble twat just for the benefits. We married for love: the only legitimate reason, in our book. 

Of course, this meant that we weren’t as big as we could have been. In fact, I’m pretty sure the only reason we still exist as a noble House is because of our old ties to the crown. No, I didn’t have any royal blood in me. Heh, the reality is far better: our ancestors were spies for Celestia. Shadow Kicker? I love ya, you’re awesome, but you can’t beat spies. They were so good, no normal pony would even be aware of their existence.

Our manor’s pretty small compared to others you’ll see in Canterlot, but it’s home. A nice garden with neatly trimmed hedges, vibrant flowers and fresh green grass. No fountain though; that’s kinda cliché. The manor was white, with detailed windows and a slate roof. There was also a lot of ivy growing over the walls. You’d think we’d prefer red, the color of passion and of the heart. But nope, we like green. It represents life, something that a loving relationship can celebrate. New life can be created from one too. It’s also the color of poison, something that spies would love, but details.

I went up to the big double doors and rang the doorbell. Now, I could have walked in myself, but I wanted to surprise my parents. Nothing to do with me leaving my key to get in back at Ponyville, honestly. It was Dad who opened the door. That didn’t surprise me, considering we don’t have a lot of servants. 

Dad (actual name: Legato) looks a lot like me. We share the same color scheme, which is enough of a similarity. The differences between us weren’t as major. He had a small beard and his mane was cut a little differently from mine. His eyes were light blue and his coat and mane colors were very slightly darker than mine. 

“Hi Dad!” I greeted him, grinning as I turned to the side to show off my mailmare’s satchel.

He looked at me bluntly and sniffed. “Sorry, we’re not expecting mail.” The door slammed shut in my face.

Buck my Dad. Honestly, he’s such a prankster. If you think I’m immature, he’s something else entirely. Yet he always manages to get away with it. Apparently it’s part of his ‘charm’. Bleck.

I waited for him to open the door and give me a proper hello. I waited for quite a while. So I thought, to hay with it, I’ll just go in myself. Thankfully he kept the door unlocked. Probably because he wanted me to just go in of my own accord anyway.

I won’t go into detail about the interior of our house. It’s basically a lot of white walls, marbled floors and expensive ornaments lying around. Just like every other noble’s residence ever. However, our emblem was unique. It could be found above doorways, on walls… wherever an emblem looked good.

The Heartstrings emblem gets to point of what we’re about. A golden love heart in the center, with an F-clef to its right (your left) and a C-clef to its left. Love and music. Both of them complement each other well, being things of passion.

I went into the living room. One of them, anyway. The problem with manors is that you get a lot of useless rooms, and we had more than most. Our ancestors being spies, there were a lot of secret rooms in our home. There were also hidden tunnels, going across the whole of Canterlot. Only Heartstrings and a few royal officials (including Celestia herself, of course) would know of them.

Mom and Dad were sitting on the very comfortable-looking brown couch. Mom looked nothing like me, really. Like Dad, she was a unicorn, having a cream coat and a long light pink mane. The only trait we did share was the color of our eyes. And gender, I guess. Look, let’s not get into specifics.

My Mom, Carol, was reading a book. Not sure what type, but knowing her tastes, it was a read where there’s a lot of blood and characters die a lot. Mom’s a lovely pony, but she has some pretty weird tastes when it comes to stories. 

A pair of magical blue hands came in sweeping from seemingly out of nowhere, taking off my hat and satchel and placing them on a coffee table near the fireplace. Dad can do that because A: he’s a beta-level unicorn, and B: he’s had years of practice. The hand spell is really versatile, in that it’s kind of governed by your imagination. Want to make your hands float around? Possible, with enough willpower. How do flaming fists of fury sound to you? Again, completely doable. Of course, there are limits, but they’re mostly to do with yourself.

“Lyra!” Mom exclaimed, putting down her book manually and trotting over to me, giving me a nice motherly hug. It felt really good to see her again. Dad too, but Mom doesn’t mess around with me like he does. She pecked me on the cheek, then said, “Did you finally get a job?” I beamed at her and nodded. 

“‘Bout damn time,” Dad said, patting the space next to him. I went up and sat next to him, Mom sitting on my other side. Grinning, he ruffled my mane. “Just kidding. Slightly. Good job, Minty.”

Mom was using her magic to levitate my satchel and root around with it. “I’m just going to check if this isn’t some prank, Lyra.” I frowned, but kept quiet. I guess it was understandable; the idea of me actually working is pretty alien to most. 

The longer she kept searching, the more anxious I got. Not because she wouldn’t find anything, no, there was enough evidence in there that I had a job, like my name tag and all that. It was just… Mom’s an Epsilon. She can’t really do many magical things without getting worn out. One of my earliest memories as a child was walking into their bedroom during the day, looking for Mom. I found her lying in bed with a fever, looking completely drained. Being only little, I was terrified for her.

Once Mom had indeed confirmed that I wasn’t lying, she put the satchel down, to my relief. “Well, since this is all true, may I just say that I am very proud of you, Lyra. And I’m sure your father is too.”

Dad nodded. “It’s not exactly a musical career, but… it’s a start.”

Mom gave me a little nudge. “Maybe you should consider music again though, yes?” 

Oh Celestia, here we go again. Mom and Dad never forced me to do anything, and that was fine for me, but they always tried to nudge me in particular directions. Ones that I had made perfectly clear that I didn’t want to step in. “No, Mom, I’m just working at getting a good enough job to help Bon Bon with things. That’s all.”

“As good a reason as any,” Dad said. Then he ruined it straight after. “But—I’m being serious now—you are gifted at music, Lyra. I know that your first attempt at getting into the music business ended up in disa—”

I cut him off, really not wanting to go down that particular road. “Can we just celebrate the fact that I’ve actually got a job, please? I didn’t come over to get nagged at.”

“Yes, I suppose you’re right, darling. We’re sorry.” Mom kissed my forehead as a way of apologising. Hm, it was easy to see where I got my affectionate nature from. But when I do it, it’s nice, and when your mom does it, it’s annoying.

“Second day on the job. Had to deliver a package here, so I thought that since I was in the area…” I told them. They were smart enough to figure out the rest. “It’s only temporary, though. All the pegasi in town are busy with Tornado Day, so I saw an opportunity and seized it.”

Dad nodded approvingly. “Resourceful. Good. Even if you’d make a pretty bad pegasus anyway.” 

I rolled my eyes and turned to Mom, who was chewing her lip. I raised an eyebrow at her, which made her pipe up. “I’m happy for you, dear. Really, I am. But I don’t think you should toss out the option of a musical career so quickly. Your Father and I are willing to help you every step of the way, you know that.”

“Mhm. Last time, you ran off before we could do anything about the situation,” Dad added. 

Mmm. I couldn’t really say I didn’t. And even then, they had supported me ‘running away’. The thing was though, I had gotten in too deep in Ponyville. I had a life there now with Bon Bon, and I was determined to see it through. If I wanted to get back into music, I’d have to go to Canterlot, which meant long periods of time away from Bon Bon. Honestly, I’m not sure that’s something we could both deal with. 

Besides, trying a musical career again would just open old wounds.

“We’ll see,” I replied neutrally. That shut them up about the subject, but just in case, I brought on another one that I wanted to talk about. “Anyway, there’s something I want to talk to you about…”

“You’re pregnant?”

That earned Dad a slap on the head from Mom.

I shivered. “No! Goddess, no. But, y’know Colgate, right?” They nodded. “Well, she had a crush on this stallion called Caramel. And I thought they looked nice enough together on Hearts and Hooves days, so I told Colgate to go for it. Gave her advice and all that. Problem is, they got together, but Caramel wasn’t committed and broke things off. Including Colgate’s heart.” I sighed, running a hoof through my mane. I went into as much detail I could, including how Colgate had acted when I had talked to her about it. When I was done, I fell silent for a bit before asking, “Was that all my fault?”

Dad shook his head sternly. “You were merely a factor, Lyra, not the root cause. Love will make a pony do crazy things, one way or another. All you did was speed up the situation, which was probably better than letting it simmer.”

“Agreed,” Mom chimed in. “It sounds like it’s really Caramel’s fault for giving in and letting the relationship go ahead anyway.”

Huh. So it wasn’t completely my fault then? I could see that. Hay, I kinda liked that; took a lot of the guilt off. Something still felt off though. “So you’re saying what I did was... good?”

“Not exactly, no, but with love, it’s usually better to act quickly and decisively,” Dad explained. “If you hadn’t said anything to Colgate, I doubt her feelings would have went away. They would bubble up instead, growing over time. Therefore, when she found out Caramel did not reciprocate her affections… the fallout would have been much bigger.”

Heh, even now, my parents were still teaching me about love. Not surprising, since they were happily married and have been so for years. Heartstrings don’t marry for life, since we do realize the need for divorce sometimes, but it usually ends up that way because we’re that damned good. 

Come to think of it, the only things my parents had fully instructed me in were love and music. Most other things I had kinda figured out on my own. That doesn’t mean my parents neglected me when I was young, but… well they had very busy music careers, that’s all. Besides, I had nannies, so I was never really alone.

I suddenly felt peckish. “Thanks for the advice,” I said, giving both of them a quick nuzzle. “But after lugging that crate around, I’m starved. Could I get some of that divine Canterlot food?”

My mom chuckled, getting off the couch. “Of course you can, dear. Anything you want.”

“Within reason,” my dad added, grinning at me. 

Okay, so I laughed a little at him. Sometimes my Dad really is a great pony.

We went to the dining room. You know the deal. Long table, fancy dinnerware, all that stuff. There were also fancy paintings on the walls. Unlike other nobles, Heartstrings didn’t have many paintings of just themselves, looking all stoic and posh. Most were depictions of a happy couple during a romantic moment, or a Heartstrings playing some music.

There was Acapella, the first—and one of the few—Heartstrings to be credited with having multiple husbands. Even if she only married one due to stupid nobility politics, she made a union with the others. Then there was Galliard, who played the double bass to perfection. Old family legend says he danced from dusk till dawn for two days to win the heart of the mare he loved. Oh, she loved him back of course, but her father was apparently a bit of a mule.

Of course, records of our family only go back so far. Our family was founded just after the Lunar Rebellion, so anything before that is pretty much lost to the sands of time. The only thing I know for certain is that we were bards.

I stopped mulling over old history when we sat down at the table close to each other, while Dad made a few orders to what few servants we had. We’re on good terms with them, since we don’t tax them too hard and make sure they’re well looked after. They are ponies too, after all.

While we waited for food, we made casual small-talk. Dad and Mom are as close as they’ve ever been, even if they’re probably not as wild as they were in their younger days.

No, wait. This is my Dad we’re talking about. They’re probably hopping around like stark raving rabbits.

Eventually the food arrived. In droves. Seriously, plates upon plates of the stuff. I know we’re nobles, but geeze, this seemed excessive. Bread, salads, cakes… oh Goddess, it looked so good. I wasted no time in diving right in.

Right as I was in the middle of a sandwich, Mom asked a question. “So have you thought about proposing to Bon Bon?”

And then I was choking, hacking and coughing away, sending chunks of sandwich all over the table. 

Dad was quick to capitalize on my mistake. “Really Lyra, I thought you learnt table manners when you were seven.” He then proceeded to use a floating hand to rub my mouth vigorously with a napkin. 

“Mmph!” I protested, flailing about. Mom’s hoof on his shoulder made Dad stop, but didn’t wipe the devious grin off his face. I recovered from the parental assault, only to see the two of them staring at me expectantly. 

“Of course I’ve thought about it,” I answered. That much should have been obvious. I loved Bon Bon, and I was determined to spend the rest of my days with her. “But… well, y’know… timing.”

Mom quirked an eyebrow. “What do you mean by ‘timing’?”

“It’s a big step, Mom,” I began, frowning a little at the them. “The both of you should know that. I’m actually trying to be a working mare now, and I want to see how that goes before I pop the question. It’s not something you just leap into without a second’s thought.” 

Dad smiled, nodding contently. “Exactly the answer we wanted to hear.” I breathed a sigh of relief at that. The last thing I needed was for my parents to pushing my relationship with Bon Bon. It was our special thing, and we’d take it at the pace we wanted to, thank you very much.

I stared at my parents, waiting for any more awkward questions to come from them. “... Can I get back to eating now?”

“Of course you can, dear,” Mom replied, tucking into some salad.

Dad cast an inquisitive glance at me, but not at my face, for some reason. “Just don’t eat too many cakes.”

Sandwich in my mouth, I just shrugged at him. What did he think I was gonna do? Eat so much that I felt bloated? Hah, yeah right.





When I got back into Ponyville, I felt pretty fat. The meal I had at my parents’ place was more like a buffet. Not surprising, since I’m not there much, they want me to be happy when I do visit. I was so full, I almost fell asleep on the train ride home a couple times.

It was early evening as I slowly trudged back to Bons’ place. A nice nap sounded good, to sleep off all this food I’d eaten. Mmmm. All snuggled up in the covers, toasty warm. Maybe Bon Bon would join me…

I was so wrapped up in my thoughts about slumber, it came as a surprise to see Derpy landing (with a bit of a stumble) in front of me, a sheepish smile on her face. I’d stop and say hi, of course, but I didn’t plan on having an especially long conversation. “Oh, hey Derpy,” I greeted her. “Just delivered a package to Canterlot, and planning on heading home for some rest.”

“Oh, don’t let me hold you up for too long then. It’s just…” She rubbed the back of her neck, beginning to blush. “That item you delivered? It was to the wrong address.” My heart rate soared. Had I messed up already?! “But I suppose I should thank you, since Cloud got the impression it was from me and… well, we had a very fun time.” Aaaaand there I saw the dildo in her other hoof that she was hoofing over to me. Great. “So, er, thanks!”

“No problem…?” I tried to smile, but I probably looked very awkward. Gah, shame on me for thinking that the toy was for Cloud. Trust me, she has enough as it is, and they will really rock a pony’s world (among other things). I guess I should’ve returned it to the post office, but… aw, why did it have to be a feathering dildo?!

I gingerly took it in my magic, grimacing. Yeah, no problem Derpy, I just hope you cleaned the damn thing. Great. Looks like I was stuck with it for now. 

Sigh. Fantastic.
> The Pony Who Can Heal Any Heart
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was worried when Caramel broke up with Colgate, if you could even call it that. Colgate really was in a state and Berry had stopped me from seeing her, although now I realize that maybe it was the right call to make.

So you can understand why I grew even more worried when I hadn’t seen the dentist for a couple days.

I tried to be rational about it. I was doing my paper rounds and she her dentistry appointments; how could we both spare the time to hang out? That said, we probably could’ve managed a friendly ‘hello,’ especially when I delivered letters to her house. Maybe I was fretting too much about it.

After minutes of standing outside her house, I told myself I should have just walked in. After a couple more minutes to become calm and collected, I did. At least I knocked, instead of the usual waltzing in like I had the habit of doing.

Colgate opened the door and offered me a little smile. I thought it was wavering a little, bless her heart. “Hi, Lyra.”

“Hey Colgate,” I replied, giving her a kind smile. “Wanna talk?”

She nodded and stepped aside to let me in. “Can I get you anything?” she asked as we approached the sofa. I waved my hoof and said no, sitting down with her.

Awkward silence started to set in so I threw aside any dancing around the issue and got to the heart of the matter. “How are you feeling?”

Colgate rubbed her foreleg with a hoof, never fully meeting my eyes. “What aren’t I feeling?” She attempted to laugh, but it sounded hollow and lifeless. “Sad, obviously. Upset, empty, lost.” I saw her legs tense up. “... Angry.”

I raised my eyebrow, but let that last issue drop for the time being. “What did Berry say?” Can’t fault me for being curious. A part of me was a little worried that Berry had pinned all the blame on me, but she was never the deceitful type; she preferred to tackle her problems head on.

“Just that I would find another pony someday, and that I was still very attractive, beautiful … lots of compliments. Told me to be strong and soldier on. And I’m trying, but…” Her gaze fell to the floor.

Time to hug. I shuffled over and wrapped a foreleg around her blue body, pulling her close. “First of all, everything Berry said was true. You’re cute and a way better mare than I am.” I covered her lips with a hoof before she could object. “If I can find a special somepony, then you sure can. You’ve got the looks, and being well organized and clean are very attractive qualities for a pony to have.” Colgate’s eyes went down to look at my hoof on her mouth. “Oh, right.” I drew it back so she could speak.

“I think I get it now, Lyra, thanks. But even if I am the prettiest mare in all the land, that’s not gonna get rid of this pain I’m feeling.” Her gaze went away from me, up towards the ceiling. She got a dreamy look in her eye, but it clashed with the frown she was harboring. “I could see it. Caramel and I. We were so close, but…”

I sighed. Telling a pony the harsh truths of love was never an easy thing. “But it’s just not gonna work, Colgate. That’s something you have to accept and deal with it. I’m not saying it’ll be easy, but you’ll get better. The pain will hurt less. Right now it’s a burning hole in your heart, but later it’ll just seem like a bruise.”

Her head snapped back to me. “But—”

“But nothing.” I locked eyes with her, trying to convey the most deadly seriousness I could. “Trust me, Colgate. I know.”

At first, she blinked. Then her brows furrowed, her eyes narrowing. Then they slowly widened and her jaw dropped slightly. “Who?”

“Who do you think?” 

She shook her head. “No, really, who?”

I did the usual rolling of the eyes, coupled with a sigh. “Cloud Kicker.” 

“Oh. Right.” She gave me one of her looks—the one where she’s examining a child’s teeth and seeing a lot of plaque; a scrutinising frown. “You’ve never talked much about you and her, other than your ‘arrangement.’”

I moved my hoof across dismissively. “Because it’s not relevant, is it?” My heart felt like it just got clamped, admitting that. “What’s important now is you. And I say that you’re going to be fine—me and Berry will help, you know that.” She leaned into me, and I squeezed her comfortingly, pursuing that one train of thought that was still waiting in the station. “Why are you feeling angry, anyway?”

The couch was subjected to much scrunching from Colgate’s hooves. “Time Turner,” she said with an venomous disdain that was pretty shocking, coming from her.

In fact, it creeped me out a little; my body really wanted to move away a little from her. Thankfully, I kept that urge under control. “Er… what about him? He seemed pretty cool.” Sure, he lacked a little tact, but in comparison to Thunderlane, he might as well have been Fancy Pants.

“Pretty cool?” Colgate shot me an annoyed look. “Lyra, he’s the one that messed everything up for me.”

Or saved you from both from impending disaster, I thought. Putting a hoof on her shoulder—whew, could I feel the tension—I made an attempt to rationalise things. “Colgate, he was trying to help.”

She snorted and shrugged my hoof off her. “Yeah, good joke,” she sarcastically shot back.

I took a deep breath and summoned up extra reserves of patience; when dealing with a pony still delusional and lost in love’s grasp, you need it. “Colgate, be honest with yourself: was Caramel really happy to be with you?”

“Yes!” she replied without any hesitation.

“As a lover?” It’s usually pretty easy for ponies to tell if somepony likes your company, or is in love for you. Granted, friends can slowly turn into lovers without a sudden transition, but if that happens they’re both okay with it. “Or as a friend?”

All the fire that was seemingly in Colgate’s belly turned into a dying spark. She cringed, slumping down. I held her close, feeling just how limp she had become, while she said nothing. “I’m sorry,” I told her. It took me a few seconds to realise that my words could be interpreted as feeling sorry for her as opposed to… actually being sorry. “For starting things off between you two.”

“Lyra, you idiot.” I got a soft whap ‘round my head. “Who did you see together on Hearts and Hooves Day?”

That was a no-brainer. “You and Caramel.”

“Exactly.” I heard a sniffle come from her. “It was all my fault… I was so deluded and stupid. Didn’t think at all.”

For the next few moments, my body language did all the talking. I pulled her a little closer so that she ended up with her head leaning against my chest. My odd sitting position meant I could easily stroke her pretty little mane and rub her back at the same time. Turns out she needed the comfort; I felt damp spots on my chest. I just wanted to squeeze the hurt out of her, but obviously that wouldn’t have sufficed—a peck on the forehead settled instead. Her ear twitched, although she said nothing. 

“You’ll be okay, Colgate,” I whispered into her ear. “I promise.”





It’s a bit odd, walking around in a military compound all dolled up. A lot of the recruits start eyeing you while the higher-ups give you scrutinising looks. I was wearing an orange gown that covered my legs and had an orange flower in my mane to complete the looks. Tonight I was going on a fun little date with my bang-buddy, Cloud Kicker. She told me to go fancy, so I did. I just wish we had arranged a place where I didn’t stick out like a sore hoof…

I found Cloud Kicker’s bunkroom and hastily knocked upon the door. It opened soon after, revealing my date for the evening. She looked very nice, decked in a fancy dress uniform. The kind with lots of buttons and military symbols that I didn’t really understand.

Suffice to say, the sight of Kicky alone made me instantly feel better. “Hiiii there. You're looking rather dashing,” I greeted her, grinning.

She shot back a grin of her own. “And you look like a very proper and lovely young mare.”

Trust her to come back with the most flattering of compliments. “Awww, thank you! Now, ready to show me a good time?

“Of course; I’ve been preparing all day,” she replied, walking out and locking the room behind her. It was then that I noticed one problem with her uniform; it covered her flanks, which swayed enticingly in time with her tail flicks. “I know a great place. Guessing you don't go by the Cloud district much, do you?”

I snapped back to reality, walking along with Kicky. “Nope. Never had a reason to, really.”

Cloud nodded. “Figured not. It is kinda the pegasus part of town, what with my clan's compound and the House Cumulus stuff.”

“Hmm, yeah.” I had known Cloud for a few weeks now and it still amazed by how she lived in a compound. It didn’t seem normal to me. “Taking me there, are you?”

“That I am,” she said as we went outside. First, she gazed up at the night sky, then looked me over. “Hmm. You okay with a quick pega-back ride?” Vaguely gesturing at my attire, she explained, “Not sure if it would be alright with your dress and all…”

I checked myself over. My dress wasn’t the most durable of things, but I thought it could’ve survived I quick air trip. “Hm... should be okay.” I flashed a suggestive smirk at her. “And how can I turn down an opportunity to ride you?”

Kicky snorted. “Exactly—you can’t. Anyway, in that case, you'll get a real treat: we're gonna eat at Cloud Nine.”

I blinked and gasped at the same time. “The Cloud Nine?!” Cloud Nine was about as five star as you could get. Located in the clouds above the Pegasus district, it was where all the fancy ponies ate. It promised fine food and an even finer view of Equestria.

“Yeah. Bet you've never had dinner on a cloud before, have you?” she asked, lightly nudging my side.

“Never! But…” I looked down at my bare hooves. “Won't I need thunderforge stuff?”

“Nah, they've got it set up so you don't need any of that. Part of what makes it such a nice place for ponies without wings.” She gazed aside and mumbled something under her breath. 

I tilted my head, my ears straining to hear what she had said. “Didn't catch that last bit.”

Kicky waved her hoof dismissively. “S'not important. Whatever the case is, you're gonna have a nice night on the town.”

“Alright then! Can't wait—let's go!” I cheered, resisting the urge to make a fool of myself by stomping my hooves in applause.

Cloud gestured to her back. “Yeah, hop on.” I did, making myself quite comfy. Her uniform was in the way, but I could still feel those lovely muscles of hers. All that training really paid off to give her a very sexy figure.

She took off, me holding on to her as tightly as I could without hurting her. We’d done this a couple of times before, so I wasn’t afraid. “Feeling alright back there?”

I snapped out of daze; feeling her powerful muscles at work makes a pony think of … things. “My mane's getting a little messed up, but I'm fine.”

“Alright.” The buildings below us gradually became smaller and smaller, but this being Canterlot, they never lost their grandness. Cloud pointed towards an especially impressive red structure down below. “Oh, there's the clanhold, by the way. Just in case you were curious.”

I had to double take to make sure I was actually looking at the right thing. “Damn ... that's impressive.” It really was. Granted, it really did stand out against the other buildings of Canterlot… like an old relic from a forgotten era. But it was still standing tall against the crowd. 

“It is pretty nice. Not so impressive when you realize that the tiny little speck right there is where I actually live,” she said, pointing… I dunno. I couldn’t see it.

“Pfft, still impressive to me.”

“Oh yeah? Well, it’s home to me.” Kicky fell into silence. I wasn’t sure if it was a awkward or thoughtful considering I couldn’t see her face. “Um,” she began carefully, “you haven't really told me much about your family situation.”

Aaaw, Cloud Kicker. Not wanting to accidentally upset me if I was an orphan. How sweet. “Only child. My parents are still very much in love, it's sweet. Not the biggest family around, but I'd say we're perfectly fine.”

“Noble or common?”

“Noble, although not too major,” I answered. “Having a successful music career in Canterlot can really do you wonders.”

“So just an honorary title?” she asked. 

“Not exactly.” I scrunched up my muzzle. The fact that the Heartstrings were formally part of covert operations for the crown… well, it was still a bit of a secret thing, really. Protocol and all that. “The Heartstrings started off as bards, as far as I know, so they don't have noble blood.” To be honest I didn’t see us as nobles anyway; we were just way too fun-loving.

Kicky was running along a similar train of thought to my own. “Cool. And if you make beautiful music, that makes you more useful than most of the dukes out there.”

That made me giggle a little, mostly because it’s so true. “I suppose so, yeah.”

“Never would've figured you for noble, really. You don't act all stuck-up and stuff.”

“Acting stuck-up never got a pony anywhere.” I grinned and prepared a suitable quip. “Well, except maybe up their own plot.”

“Truth,” Kicky replied, rather seriously at that. Shame. I was expecting one of her one-liners. Granted, I guessed she was concentrating on landing—Cloud Nine was in sight and it looked amazing. Imagine a mini-recreation of Pegasopolis: white pillars standing tall on even whiter clouds. Due to their blank color, the dying purples and oranges of the retreating sun were cast upon them. 

“Then again, for a long time I thought all nobles were like my mom. She's ... atypical,” Cloud continued, slowly turning in the air. I assumed she wanted more private time to chat in the skies.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, she's—” She quickly cut herself off and went on regardless. “Honestly, she could teach most of my clan a lesson in being stiff and duty-obsessed.”

“Sounds like she needs to lighten up,” I summarised. 

“Yeah.” After a beat, she added, “She's still Mom, though.” Aaaw, a Mommy’s girl? Cute. 

“Nothing can change that.” Carefully, I leant forward so I could hug her. “She loves you, right?”

“'Course she does, even if she's not so great at the whole parental affection thing. And I love her.” The last sentence was said assuredly, without any hesitation whatsoever.

So that of course made me start to gush. “Aaaaw, that's good to hear.”

“How about your parents?”

“Oh yeah, they love me to bits. Not too pushy—they give me the space to grow the way I want. But they also provide for me a lot, so I'm lucky.” A part of me wanted to keep my Dad’s wiseassery from her, but she had told me about her Mom’s stuck-upness, so I only figured it was fair. “Plus, my Dad’s a bit of a prankster.”

I was tempted to mention my babysitter as well, but… cool as it was to have had her as one, she wasn’t family, and she was in higher places now.

I heard a small snicker come from her. “Can’t wait to meet him, then.” She looked up at the horizon, the sunset almost completely overshadowed by the darkness of the night. “I wouldn't mind a family that's not quite so demanding. I mean, I get it, they want me to be the best I can be. But still…”

It was the wistful nature of her tone that piqued my interest. I leant my head closer to hers so I was able to catch her every word for certain. “I thought you wanted to be an officer?”

“Yeah, I do. Of course I do. It's just, my family expects a lot from me. And, y'know, I've got all that family legacy hanging over my head and stuff. S'like, I gotta ask myself if I'm upholding the whole honor of our clan.” Somepony was asking themselves the tough questions, it seemed.

Good thing I had tougher ones of my own. “Do you want to? And what the hay is honor, anyway? It's not like you can see it.”

“I want to.” She turned her head, staring at me with a most stoic look. “And honor is everything.” Her look faltered though and she went back to facing forwards. “I mean, it's intangible, but …” She sighed. “Kinda hard to explain, I guess.”

“It's just reputation. And I can see why that is important, but I hardly think it's anything to die for.” But love? Yes, that’s something worth fighting for, I reckon.

“It's like ... I wanna think I'm doing right by my ancestors, doing a good job with everything they gave me. And I want Kickers a hundred years from now to look back and say, ‘Yeah, Cloud Kicker was a good pony.’”

I scrunched up my muzzle. “I don't know... I think it's kind of silly to throw everything away just for ponies to say in the future ‘She was good.’”

After a bit of silence, Kicky answered me. “Well, I wasn't planning to throw everything away or anything.”

“Ask yourself what you want from life.” I poked her back for extra emphasis.

We kept on flying for quite some time, following on from that. Kicky needed to think—rightfully so—and I was content to feel the wind blow through my mane.

“What I have right now seems good,” Kicky suddenly said, looking at me.

I resisted the urge to kiss her for that compliment. “Well yeah, you have me as a friend.” Okay, so I didn’t kiss her, but I did giggle-snort.

“Yeah.” Deciding we had enough time in the air, Cloud headed towards the front of the establishment, slowed down and landed. “Well, here we are.”

I still held onto her though, even more tightly than when I had in the air. Peering over her, down I bit my lip. “Can I get off and not fall down?”

“Yeah,” Cloud said, kneeling down so that I could test the waters. Or clouds, as it were. I poked my hoof on the fluffy surface and it went through, but not all the way. There was something solid there, which was good enough for me. “Place is set up to let unicorns and earth ponies walk around.”

“Okay then…” I took my time in sliding off Kicky, still holding onto her as my hind hooves touched the cloud. They felt cold and even a little damp, but it was refreshing as opposed to chilling. When I put all four hooves down, I could instinctively feel a hum of magic through the cloudy surface. I didn’t question it, considering magic is magic and all that.

“Thanks for being my transport.” A nuzzle, a hug and a peck on the cheek was Kicky’s reward.

“Well, I do enjoy having you ride me,” Kicky said with one of her trademark grins.

There wasn’t much else to say but: “Oh you.”

Cloud walked up to one of the staff watching the door—a real posh type, moustache and all. He gave us an assuming look as we approached.

“Table for two, please. For a Miss Cloud Kicker and a lovely Miss Lyra Heartstrings.” Kicky stepped aside to show me off a little. Really, she didn’t need to; I was blushing already and the date had only just begun. I’m such a sap.

The waiter glanced over a list of guests, then nodded in confirmation. “This way, if you’ll please, ladies.” We followed him into the main building, which was actually kind of empty. They were tables, yeah, but not nearly as many as I expected. It was only when we went out of the backdoors I realized why.

“Step onto the cloud, please,” the waiter instructed, pointing at a small cloud floating just away from the larger cloud mass. It was a small gap, so we stepped on no problem. Beneath us, I spotted two pegasi take our cloud up to another one, about the size of a large booth in a restaurant. It had a table for two (candlelit of course) and some Pegasopalian themed architecture for theming. 

I stepped off the taxi cloud and looked at the view in the distance. My breath was taken away.

I could see the lights of towns and villages below, see the rolling fields and the bumpy hills that marked the land. Cloudsdale was in the far distance and I could just make out it’s famous rainbows. In the very very far distance was the beginnings of a dusty desert, where Appleloosa probably was. It was Equestria. Almost the entirety of it. Like a dreamscape come to life. 

I had to sit in my chair, which Cloud had pulled out for me. “Kicky… this is amazing!”

“Yeah, it’s really something alright,” she replied, sitting in her seat. It was hard to believe that she could just take a view like that so casually. Did pegasi really see this everyday? Did they all appreciate it like I did? 

I managed to tear my view away from the scenery to look at my wonderful date. “Why are you doing this, anyway?”

Kicky smiled warmly. “You happy?”

“Of course I am. Are you?”

“If you are, then I am,” she answered, completely sure of herself. Her smile grew warmer, which of course made her cuter.

“I'm surprised I haven't exploded 'cause of the amount of love and care you've given me.” I snickered to myself, picking up the menu in front of me and reading what dishes were available that night. It was the typical fancy stuff, although some things sounded like they came from Zebrica or Griffonia. 

Cloud chuckled quietly to herself and picked up her menu. We went into a comfortable silence, choosing what we wanted. Out of the far reaches of my vision, I could see Kicky’s menu falter, like she was trying to peek at me or something. “Hey, Lyra?” she asked. Her voice was hesitant.

I lowered my menu. “Yeah?”

She put down hers too, although her hooves remained on it. “What do you think about, like, romance and stuff?”

My ears instantly perked up and I began to divulge in what amounted to a speech. “I think it's the most magical, wonderful, special thing a pony can experience. It gives us the passion and drive to do things we'd never think of doing. And I think we're all destined for it in some form—it completes us.”

“So… what if, say, you found that one special pony…” Her hooves flipped the menu open, then shut. “And then it all went wrong?”

Ears flattened against my skull, I blinked. “It would hurt. A lot. And nothing would ever replace that love I would have felt.” I rubbed my chest, right where my heart was. “But I'd learn to move on. I'd have to. Otherwise the hole that was made by heartbreak would eat at me forever.”

I spotted her touch her heart as well, but her contact was a lot more gingerly than my own. “So... if that happened to a pony, they should try to find somepony new?”

“Of course!” I exclaimed, nodding. “In fact, I'd recommend it. It would help them a lot.”

“Oh, I see.” Silence crept on us again, but it wasn’t alone. I watched Kicky’s forehoof unsurely creep away from her menu, right towards my own. I tilted my head, but I met her halfway, squeezing her hoof. She squeezed it, licking her lips. When she spoke, her words were slow, quiet and drawn out. “Um... Lyra... I…”

I gave her the best smile I could. “Yes, Kicky?”

“Have you ever thought about maybe—” She got herself off, then sighed. “I dunno. We've been pretty good together for a while now…”

My smile vanished, replaced by an inquisitive uplift of my brow. This wasn’t the Kicky I knew. My best (okay, only) bang buddy was a charmer. A feisty mistress, not afraid to show off her stuff. “What are you asking?”

She took a deep breath and I squeezed her hoof; anything to help calm her down. “I don't even know. I just... I know you make me happy. I know I like spending time with you. I know banging you makes me feel twice as good as anypony else I fool around with.”

I shuffled on my seat, my tail curling around my body. It was time to ask the biggest question of them all. “Are you ... in love with me, Kicky?”

“I don't know,” she replied lamely. Which of course, wasn’t good enough for me.

With my free hoof, I pointed somewhat accusingly at her. “Do you, or don't you? Ask yourself: ‘Would I like to spend the rest of my life with this mare?’”

“I…” I could feel her hoof slip away from mine—I didn’t let it. Call me harsh, but in matters such as love, it helps to be direct. Dancing around the issue causes a whole bunch of misunderstandings. “You're a lot of fun to be around, Lyra. You brightened up my day. But I don't know if…”

“If...?”

“I mean, the rest of my life? That's ... big.”

I shrugged off the pinprick on my heart that her comment may have inflicted. “Yeah, it is. But do you think the idea could grow on you?”

“I dunno.” She shrugged, but then looked up at me with a hopeful, if shaky, smile. “Maybe?”

“Are you scared?”

Kicky took a moment to ponder, licking her lips. “Yeah.”

I let out a little sigh and did some thinking myself. So this was happening. Check. Was I liking it? 

… yeah. Yes, I was. It was uncertain, definitely, but I could see the potential. Kicky was definitely attractive in every regard and she was right: we did have a lot of fun together. Those were some of the important pre-requisites for a relationship, so...

“I don't know, Kicky. It's something we could try. Love doesn't always happen instantly.”

That smile of hers got just a bit stronger. “Yeah?” I even saw her tail flick a little. “Try for a bit, and see what happens?”

Again, I put some thought into it. What’s the worst that could happen? We both decide it wasn’t gonna work and we go back to the way things were? I think that was something we could handle. And if it did work… well, we’d be happy, so there wasn’t any problem. 

“Yeah... yeah, we can.”

“Thanks.” Some of that Kicker charm came back in the form of her kissing my hoof. “So... uh... I guess I shouldn't bang around anymore?”

I laughed and shook my head. “I'm not going to stop you from being who you are. It was how we met, after all.” I paused and then thought to add a little disclaimer. “As long as you don't bang for love love.”

“'Course not. Thanks for understanding, love.” My stomach suddenly got a small case of the butterflies upon hearing that last word. 

“It's fine, Kicky,” I smiled and took stock of our surroundings once more. Everything felt different. A lot more… romantic. “So this is kinda like our first date.”

Once I saw that classic grin of hers, I knew the awkwardness was over. “Guess so, yeah.”

“Shall we stop staring into each other's eyes and actually order some food?” Love was great and all, but my belly wasn’t gonna agree with that.

“In a minute or two.” She stared into my eyes, a very content smile forming on her lips. “Shadow, you're beautiful tonight.”

Aaaaaand there went my cheeks. Red and boiling hot from all the attention. “And you're being really charming tonight.”

“Well, gotta impress my new fillyfriend.” That was when I fully realized that we were actually a thing now. A legitimate, romantic couple! It felt… nice. Better than nice, actually. Super nice? No no, not charming enough. 

Luckily there were better ways of putting across my affection for her.

“It's a shame that this table is in the way.” I leant forward, smirking.

“Nah,” Kicky instantly shot me down. “This is all ... romantic.”

Charming as my fillyfriend was, it seemed that she still had some things to learn. “Oh, I agree. But I wouldn't mind giving you a kiss.”

She blinked, seeing me strain across the table. She quickly recovered, however, and was all too glad to meet me in the middle. “Yeah.  Maybe we can…”

Our lips met and we shared a loving kiss. And thus, the beginning of a beautiful relationship came to be.





I stayed at Colgate’s place for a couple more hours until the sun fell, I went home to Bons and a new day began. Like what was almost the norm, I got up early and set off to work. But this time, I’d be handing in my satchel.

That’s right: I had completed the job! Tornado Day was over, which meant that I could hand things back to Derpy now. All I had to do was to collect what little pay I was owed and head back home. I think the first thing I wanted to do after being set free was just sleep like a Lyra-lump.

“It’s paydaaaaaay!” I sang as I waltzed through the post office’s door. The stallion at the desk, my boss, didn’t seem very amused. Catching wind of his frown, I coughed and walked up to him, smiling sheepishly. “Uh, seems my time here is over.”

“Seems so,” he grunted. He waved a hoof for me to hand over my mailmare satchel, badge and all the other stuff a good mailmare needs (not much). With the post office’s things returned, he gave me my reward. A piece of paper entitling me to my pay—a check! My very own check! I stared at it in awe, holding it up high, looking at the scribbled number seventy on it. It was shoddy hoofwriting, but who cared?! I had my own—

“What’s the big deal? It’s like you’ve never seen a check before…” he grumbled.

I stopped and levitated my check close to my mane. “Heh heh… uh… thanks for the opportunity!”

“And thank you for your time. See ya.” He waved me off to attend to the other customers. Of which they were none. Jerk.

I kept my composure as I walked through the post office but as soon as I was a good few meters away from it, I burst into a fit of giggles, my hooves rapidly dancing on the spot. “I got paid! Lyra Heartstrings, paid mare! Not a slob!” I released the most triumphant of squees. “I did it!”

I skipped all the way home, humming a merry tune to myself. Even the town seemed to revel in my enthusiasm. The birds were especially chirpy today, singing a symphony to which I skipped to! Friends and acquaintances said warm hellos to me, and I to them! Even total strangers smiled at me—but not in the creepy ‘don’t touch me, freak’ way!

Okay, it wasn’t that perfect. Passing Cherry’s house, I could see her tampering with her mailbox, wearing an annoyed scowl. Even one of the birds that flew by her suddenly stopped singing and awkwardly ventured off course. 

It was inevitable that she’d notice me. Grumps are always like that; looking for something happy to corrupt. But I was confident that today she wouldn’t get me down!

“Lyra, was there anything in the mail for me today?” she asked, eyes piercing through me.

I kept skipping past her, not missing a beat. “No idea what you’re on about, Cherry!”

“A package. Pretty small. Should have been here a couple of days ago.” She raised a scrutinising brow. “Are you sure you’re not, I don’t know, lying through your teeth?”

My skipping slowly transformed into a walk. “Package?” I flipped through my memory of the last few days.

I dropped to my knees. “No. No.” My stomach lurched. My spine shivered. The urge to retch was uncontrollable. “Oh my Celestia, no…” I spun around and pointed a hoof right at her. “That dildo was yours?!”

“What?!” Cherry took a couple steps back from me, her face consorted in disgust. “It was a toy, not a—” She stopped. A second passed and she blinked, speaking very slowly, “You tampered with my mail…” A very sinister grin slowly spread across her face. “You tampered with my mail.”

Unfortunately, my mind was breaking too much for me to even consider what evil scheme she was forming. I was lying on my side, coughing and desperately trying not to puke something up. “Oh buck…” I brought my trembling hooves to my face. “I-I touched it…” My throat burned as I swallowed down something that tried to pop out to say hello.

Cherry took to walking around me, like a predator stalking around their hapless prey. “I could have you arrested for that, you know.” That same stupid evil grin was plastered on her face the whole time. I even heard it in her words.

“Wh-what?” That was enough to snap me out of my horrified daze. I grabbed her hoof, desperately looking up at her. “You wouldn’t. Please, you wouldn’t!”

“I don’t know…” She shook me off her. “It’s not like you’re useful out here. Prison might be perfect for you; all you do is sit and get fed. See? It’s a matching fit for you!”

I opened my mouth to speak, but all that came out were shuddered mumbles. I couldn’t go to prison, locked behind bars, fated to only see Bon Bon through a reinforced glass pane! She needed me, and I her. Oh Celestia, I wasn’t perfect, I knew I wasn’t, but if I was ever separated from Bons…

“No!” I shouted, holding onto her shoulders. “I’ll do anything. Just don’t send me to jail, please!” My eyes itched, but they weren’t exactly my highest priority right now.

“Oh? Anything you say?” Cherry moved my hooves off her, forcing me to stand upright. Then she placed a hoof on my head, lowering me down so that I was kneeling. “I have a few chores I need taken care of. So if you could help me with them, maybe I might forgot about all this…”

I clenched my eyes shut, biting the inside of my cheek. It was either jail or… blackmail.

Cherry blinked. “Oh, and bring me my dildo, too.”

Yep. I was officially doomed.
> The Pony Who's Got the Touch
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Missed a spot,” Cherry snapped, standing over me as I toiled over her kitchen counter. “And there. And also to your right.” She let out an annoyed huff, as if this was somehow taxing for her. “You’re terrible at this. Have you never cleaned before?”

I rolled my eyes and kept scrubbing at the counter. Cherry wouldn’t let me use my magic to hold the wash rag, so I had to do it all by hoof. “Well this is your house…”

“What are you saying?” Cherry asked. The frown in her voice was all too noticeable.

“I’m saying that you’re a slob. Just like me,” I told her matter-of-factly. “In fact, not like me at all; I at least eat all the crumbs.”

I could hear Cherry’s hoofsteps clip-clop against the floor. “Oh Gendaaaaaaarme!”

Quickly, I turned around, dropping the rag. I held out a hoof and shouted, “No—wait!” Cherry was nearly at her front door. A few seconds later and she might have actually attracted the Gendarme, and when they turned up, she couldn’t lie about summoning them. I sighed, my shoulders slumping. “I’m sorry…”

“You better be,” Cherry warned, giving me an evil little smirk. “Now less yapping, more working. Chop chop!”

Think about me however you want, but I didn’t deserve this. Problem was, there wasn’t anything I could do about it without risking going to prison. And Celestia help me if I dropped the soap… 

Cherry had set me to do her menial tasks in no time at all. There were loads: washing her floors, tables, dishes, doing the dusting… it began to feel like the lazy one here was her. But I couldn’t exactly call her out on it without her crying like a little bitch and running to the Gendarmerie.

“Oh, one more thing,” Cherry began. “I want you to do my garbage duty for the day.”

Garbage duty? Did she mean… 

I gulped. “Hauling around that smelly old cart, right?” She said nothing in response, so I faced her to see her nodding slowly, a stupid evil grin plastered on her smug, self-satisfied face. 

My eyes teared up. But to be fair, that was because I could already detect a whiff of the cart I’d be pulling. “Oh, right… why do you do that anyway?”

Cherry rolled her eyes. “It’s a community thing. Don’t you ever wonder how Ponyville gets to be so clean?” Huh. Good point. All my days sitting around town and I had barely noticed a hint of litter. “I volunteered to help with the clean up around town. Some ponies pick up the rubbish, and I haul it off to be disposed of every week. I don’t get paid for it, but it has to be done.” She brushed aside her mane, continuing. “But I won’t have to worry about it today, will I?”

Shaking my head, I lamely replied, “Uh, nope.”

The very least I could’ve hoped for was if my minty scent remained by the end of all this. In hindsight, that was asking for too much.





I smelled like shit.

Sorry for the bluntness, but it’s not something you can dress up. I smelled like shit, and I probably looked like it too. The cart of crap I was dragging behind weighed even heavier than the package I had to deliver to Canterlot, so I was all sorts of ragged and sweaty. 

Ponyville didn’t have a dump. According to Cherry, all rubbish was taken to the outskirts of town, where it was disposed of by mages. That left too many questions, though. Did they teleport it? If so, where did it go? Or did they burn it? Feed it to a dragon?

In the end, I guess it didn’t matter as long as the town still looked nice. Pulling the cart along really made me appreciate how pretty it was. Well, not at the time. Rotten food and scraps kept falling off the cart, so I had to keep stopping and starting, resulting in a very hot and bothered Lyra. My legs ached and were beginning to tremble, my mouth was as dry as a bone, and the awful odor just wouldn’t stop invading my nostrils.

Of course I got strange looks. Why wouldn’t I? That much I expected. But what I didn’t prepare for was a friend coming up and having a short, but definitely not sweet, conversation with me.

“Lyra?” Berry trotted alongside me, wincing at the smell and looking up at the huge cart. “What are you doing…?”

“Cart,” I replied—I’m not very talkative when I’m tired.

“I can see that. Good job. Gold star,” she said, sarcastic as always. “But this isn’t your job. You’ve never signed up to do the community clean up.”

Panting like some dog, I strained my muscles, pulling one of the wheels over a stone. “Cherry!” I gasped.

“Cherry?” She raised an eyebrow, then looked at the cart again and nodded in realization. “Aah. I getcha.” Her hoof went straight into my back, patting me way too hard. My legs almost faltered under me. “Well, have fun with that!”

Off she went, leaving me alone to my miserable fate. Figures, I guessed she was still mad at me for what I did to Colgate. Regardless, I soldiered on without her help, done with self-pitying about that fiasco. Maybe I could unleash my frustration about all this at her later?

Hm… no. She was still my friend, even if sometimes she didn’t act like it. Berry didn’t know that I was being blackmailed, so maybe she saw this as another attempt by me to get some respect within the community.

Actually, thinking of that made me go a li’l faster. I ached and I pained, but at least some ponies would be impressed that I was doing this dirty job. 

That kind of went away when I felt something cold and sludgy fall onto my flank and drip down. I shivered and just kept going.

What should’ve been a five minute trot turned into an hour-something long slog. Eventually I just gave up and ended up lying on the grass, trying to catch my breath. I was near the river too, so I gave myself a quick wash and a drink.

I may have also dozed off a little. My eyes were heavy and my limbs felt all sore and loose. And a little nap by the river didn’t seem too bad...

“Hi Lyra!”

I almost tumbled into the water.

“Gah! Pinkie!” Thankfully she had the mercy to give me a few seconds to collect myself before rambling on. “What do you want?” I didn’t mean to sound so confrontational, but with Pinkie, you have to be direct.

“Weeeeeeell…” I braced myself for the onslaught of words. “Dashie’s parents are in town—” News to me. Very interesting news indeed. “—and they’re super great and stuff—” Good to know. “—so me and Awesomom—” What? “—are gonna set up a huge, amazing, fantastical party here in Ponyville!”

I slowly nodded, struggling to take that all in. Admittedly, I’m sometimes a little slow. “Right… thanks for the heads up, Pinkie.” Assuming that she’d then zoom off to tell the next pony, I touched her shoulder and continued. There was just one thing I wanted to know from her. “Do you think I’m lazy?”

Pinkie smiled and spoke with such sugary sweetness. “Yep!” Trust Pinkie to be brutally honest in the nicest way. “But you’re also real loveable and goofy ‘cause you play the lyre super well and you smell like mint,” she took a whiff of my mane, “mmm, fresh as ever! So yeah, we still adore ya!” Alright, that brought a smile to my face. I was lazy, but at least I was wanted. Room for improvement, but better than nothing.

She ruffled my mane a little, then stopped and spoke in a quiet voice, “Might wanna keep off the cupcakes though.” Then the prodding of my belly began.

I blinked and inspected my stomach. It didn’t look any rounder than normal and I didn’t feel fat or bloated at all. Then again, Pinkie wouldn’t lie to me about this, and there was always the possibility that I’d put weight on without noticing…

“Damn it, Pinkie.” I frowned and looked up at her, only to see that she had gone to the next pony to invite. Rolling my eyes, I soldiered on with my disgusting duty. At the very least, if I was getting pudgy, then this would help lose the weight.

Pushing away that line of thought, my mind pondered what Pinkie had talked to me about in the first place. I don’t think I’d ever heard Pinkie describe a party as ‘fantastical’, and if she was planning it with somepony else, then it was sure to be bigger than her usual dos. In addition, Dash’s parents were in town and I couldn’t miss the opportunity to look at her family photos. Parents always have embarrassing photos of you—no exceptions.

Especially my dad.

Hopefully Cherry would have been merciful enough to let me go after this task, but I didn’t hold out on her too much. I could’ve told Bon Bon about this, actually. It would’ve been the smart thing to do. 

Unfortunately, I’m a pony who thinks in feelings, not silly things like a rational thought process. So my mind decided that following that course of action would’ve only hurt Bons, and that’s the last thing I wanted. 

Finally, mercifully, I reached the town outskirts. Dragging the cart to the edge of the road that led… somewhere, I put it down and then collapsed. However, napping near a cart full of rubbish wasn’t the best idea in the world, so I caterpillared back into town. Honestly, the dirt on the ground was cleaner than I was, so this was a pseudo-bath for me.

Ignoring the stares everypony gave me as I crawled through town, I went back to Cherry’s house. Honestly, I probably could’ve napped on a bench like a dirty bum, but she probably wanted me for more work. Standing up, I knocked on her door, wincing when I left a dirty hoofprint on it. Hopefully she wouldn’t notice?

The door swung open, revealing a very unimpressed Cherry. She sniffed the air, then shivered, glaring at me. “Go home and have a wash, you dirty bum.” 

She slammed the door in my face. Well, I guess that meant I was done for the day. Bons was still working at her stand, so I managed to get home and have a wash before any suspicion could be aroused.

That’s how it was for the next couple of days. Bons ran her candy stand as usual while I toiled away for Cherry. Occasionally she ‘helped’ me by chatting with Bon Bon, meaning that my fake stories of where I’d been held more water. 

My body ached and pained, unable to deal with the sudden exertion I was having. Taking a look in a mirror, I saw one of the worst things for a mare in her prime. 

My earlier suspicions were correct: I was getting fat.

A little bit of chub hung down from my belly, despite all the work that I had done. Granted, I was never one to eat particularly healthy, and exercise and a good diet do go hoof-in-hoof to a good body. 

So there I was, staring into the mirror at this slowly expanding lump before me. Looking closely, I could see bags under my eyes. Exhaustion stuck to my body like a disease and even my normally bright minty coloration was dulled. 

A pair of much stronger forelegs wrapped themselves around me, holding my chubby self together. “Honey, you look awful,” Bons stated. Can’t really fault her for her bluntness.

Nodding, I reached behind me and gave her a tired nuzzle. “Yeah.” Sighing, I looked back to myself. “Bon Bon, do you think I’m getting… fat?”

She blinked as if I had revealed some great surprise or something. “What? Lyra, you’ve been like that for months now.”

Suddenly, I whipped my neck around to stare Bons right in the face. “What?”

“I thought you knew, dear,” she told me.

“Well I didn’t!” I protested, stomping a hoof on the ground. “I used to be thin and sexy. Perfect lover material. And now you just tell me I’ve got the chub?!”

Bon Bon, per usual, kept calm, dismissing my cries with a hoofwave. “You’re implying I don’t find you attractive already.” Smirking, she gave me a tight squeeze. “And I do love my minty mare.”

Couldn’t say I agreed with her right then. “Well I want to work out. Get rid of the pounds and become an even better mare for you.”

Bon Bon smiled, nuzzling me appreciatively. “I do love it when you get a fire in your belly.” She lightly poked me in the stomach. “You can start after the big Ponyville party, hm?” I nodded. One last hurrah of fun, then it was time to buckle down and get serious. 

My lover’s smile turned into a teasing grin as I felt one of her hooves place itself on my cutie mark. She stroked it tenderly, ‘plucking’ the strings. “But we both know what burns off the most calories, yes?”

Before I had any say in the matter, Bons had chucked me on the bed and proceeded to start nipping me and all that good, sexy stuff. I melted away in her strong embrace, my anxieties disappearing along with any thoughts of decency we had at the time.





Cherry was ‘generous’ enough to not bother me when the day of the party arrived. And what a party it was.

This wasn’t just a standard Pinkie Pie party at her place, or an Apple Family Reunion shindig. No, this was the whole town, dressed up and ready to partay!

Bons and I went together, simply exploring what there was to do. There were bouncy castles, stalls with games, food… lots of food. Standing there almost salivating, I desperately tried to hold myself back from the hundreds of cupcakes on display.

“Well I’m not going to stop you, Lyra,” Bon Bon said, watching me. 

I barely registered what she had said, focused on those luscious cupcakes. Just one would’ve made my day. I’d be happy. But then I’d get greedy and put on even more weight. Not something I particularly wanted right now.

Gritting my teeth, I turned away and stomped off, trying my hardest not to look back. It was tough, but the long term gain would probably be for the best. Bon Bon followed, smiling sweetly at me. “Very tenacious. I like.”

Grunting, I nodded, weaving through the crowd. Yeah, the place was packed. More than half the ponies here I had never seen before. Pinkie must have really pulled out all the stops for this one, and all for Dash’s parents? Maybe it was just her way of making a good impression. Heck, I was impressed already.

Neither of us had seen any of our friends yet, but that really wasn’t much of a surprise. What was a surprise, however, was the brief sight of two long flowing manes. The two of us blinked in surprising, catching them at the same time. They were here too?! You would have thought the Princesses would have been busy with… Princessy duties or something. I knew that this was a mega Pinkie party, but even then...

I briefly considered that if they were here, it only made sense that Cadence would be too. For a moment, my heart fluttered; it had been too long since she last visited, now that I was older, living in Ponyville and she had her Princess destiny or what have you.

“Isn’t this a bit… much?” Bon Bon asked, looking around warily. 

“No different than your cons,” I replied. Bons is such a little nerd, going to these tabletop and other geeky conventions. When she can, of course. Holding back an urge to retch, I unfortunately remembered the infamous ‘con funk’ I had experienced once. “Smells better too.”

“Completely different, Lyra. One, a convention is usually in a big building, not all over a town. And two, everypony there has something in common.” She eyed a random blue stallion as he walked past. “I wouldn’t know where to begin with these ponies.”

“I suppose you’re right,” I confessed. “This party is meant to be for Dash’s parents—at least that’s what I thought—but I haven’t seen any trace of them.”

“I have,” Bon Bon said. “Pretty nice ponies. Surprise is a little odd, like Pinkie, but Rainbow Dash is polite and nice enough. A little obsessed with looks, but apart from that she was lovely to speak to.”

“Bons, you said ‘Rainbow Dash’ instead of her Dad’s name.” After a pause, I considered that ‘Surprise’ was probably a unisex name. “Or Mom’s.”

“No, her mom is literally named ‘Rainbow Dash’,” Bon Bon confidently replied. “Rainbow is a love child.”

I suddenly gasped in pure excitement, feeling the dimples on my cheeks form. “She is?! Oh, that’s amazing! No, it’s awesome! It’s no wonder she’s full of it, eh?”

A love child is a wondrous thing, formed by the powerful love of a couple. That their love is strong enough to form new life is just so… inspiring. That’s the power of love for you. Or rather, the magic behind it. Love magic is pretty powerful, but also latent, and can’t really be tapped into. Not even my family has been able to pull it off, although that’s probably just as well. Cadence though… she can. 

Bon Bon could only chuckle at my enthusiasm. “No wonder at all, Lyra.”

“Now we just have to meet them! Any idea where they could be?” I peered around, almost frantically, looking for any trace of rainbow I could find. Sure, there was a small chance that I might have grabbed the wrong pony, but it was a risk I was willing to take.

“Honey, the party is huge. I don’t think we’re going to find them even if we did rush around.” She looked towards the town hall, all glittered and lighted up. “But over there seems to be where most of the action is, so it’s a safe bet they’ll be around that area.”

When we got there, it was quite a sight to see a big stage set up just out front of the building. Some DJ equipment was set and music was blasting out of speakers, but nopony was currently attending it. Below the stage, a whole mix of colors danced about, as ponies strutted their stuff on the dance floor.

I grinned. Now was my time to shine.

The moment we hit the dance floor, I stood up on my hind legs and took Bon Bon by her forehooves. She let out a cute little surprised squeak, yet held onto me. On the dance floor, she was mine to control. Bon Bon didn’t have good balance like I did, so she had to hold onto me for support. I moved my hind legs in time with the music, the typical sort of fast paced party fanfare. My body swayed, my legs fluid and rhythmic in motion; it felt so good.

Alas, poor Bon Bon was resigned to carefully taking steps, looking down at her legs nearly the whole time. So obviously, I did the only thing a charming fillyfriend would: I tugged on her so she fell into my embrace. Leaning against me, I could feel her soft coat against mine, and even our energetic hearts beating in tandem. Although that may have just been my ears ringing.

I kept moving, but slowed down for her sake. Bons seemed content to just move with me and for a moment, we were just a loving couple in a sea of raving party goers.

Shame Pinkie ruined that.

“Lyra!”

“Lyra!”

She shouted my name twice, not giving me any chance to react. It was only when I turned my neck, that I saw not one, but two Pinkies. Okay, so one was a white pegasus, but that aside, they looked chillingly alike.

“Gyah!” I stumbled, nearly tripping both me and Bon Bon up, but I held her firm. She quickly pecked me on the cheek and went back down onto all fours, before walking up to the strange Pinkie doppelganger. 

“Surprise! Good to see you again,” she greeted her warmly, then nodded at Pinkie. “Loving the party you got going on here.”

“Surprise…” My brain slowly clicked into gear; when romance levels are high in my brain, it doesn’t think very logically. “Oh! Rainbow Dash’s mother! It’s great to meet you!”

I held out my hoof for a polite shake. Surprise gently took it, then suddenly pulled me in for a big hug. “Lyra! Bons has told me all about you! It’s super duper fantastic to finally see you!”

“She did…?” I choked.

“Uh-huh. She told me about how you play the lyre, the funny way you sit, the fact that you really love luuurve, and…” She dove her muzzle into my mane and took a deep big sniff. I… just had to endure that. “Yes! You do smell of mint!”

Most ponies might have found that a bit odd, but I just smirked proudly. Having a minty aroma was my thing. “Glad you like it.”

I was about to ask for the embarrassing photos of her child, when Pinkie grabbed my arm and pulled me away from Bons. “C’mon! You’re going on stage!”

“What?!” I whipped my head towards Bon Bon, who was getting smaller in the distance. “I’ll be back, love. Promise!”

“Is that a Pinkie Promise?” Pinkie asked.

“Of course it is,” I answered defiantly. “If you let me go right now, the first thing I’d do is return to her.”

“Save that for later—even if it is cute,” Surprise told me, as I was taken around the back of the stage. The music died down, as did our voices. 

“So… what’s this about?” I questioned. Obviously it was something to do with performing, but as much as I liked it, the lyre was not an instrument to rock out to. 

“Well…” Pinkie began, leaning close on my left side. “Me and Surprise both hired musicians for this awesome do.”

“I hired one, and Pinkie the other, to represent us,” Surprise added, coming in from my right.

“But then we realized we had nopony to represent Ponyville, and we couldn’t have that!” Pinkie cried.

Surprise shook her head. “Oh no no no. It would be crime not to properly represent our darling Dashie’s home.”

“Soooooooooooo we thought you would do, ‘cause you’re the best musician in Ponyville!” Pinkie finished. Confetti was then thrown at my face. “Congrats!”

I was blushing, but under the low lit evening it was probably hard to notice. “Well, uh, thanks…” I rubbed the back of my neck, shuffling on the spot. I glanced towards the stage, picturing the huge crowd on the other side. “Er… so who am I going to be playing with?”

“With? Silly filly, you won’t be playing with them!” Surprise said, as she and Pinkie both formed a mischievous smile at the same time. “You’ll be playing against them—”

“In the greatest musical battle ever seen!” Pinkie screamed, jumping into the air. 

“Yeah, that,” Surprise added. In comparison to Pinkie, it sounded just a bit lame.

I suppressed the urge to gulp. Kind of difficult to do when you’re already keeping down the instinct to run back home. “Okay… who am I playing against?”

“Well,” Pinkie began, “I picked one of the coolest musicians for this party. A pretty close friend of mine, Vinyl Scratch!”

Everything that was me froze, save for the single drop of sweat running down my head. “What…?”

“And I selected somepony more classy, but still really fun to be with. Maybe somepony for the older crowd I guess—like me!” Surprise pointed to herself, grinning. “I chose the wonderful Octavia!”

I fell to the ground. Well, I would’ve had Pinkie not propped me back up, telling me not to be so clumsy. Vinyl and Octavia were here? And they expected me to battle against them? My party mood was completely destroyed, replaced by the infamous panic mode. I chipped away my hooves. With my teeth. My minty taste was of little comfort here.

“Aw c’mon Lyra!” Pinkie cried, lowering her head as I curled up on the floor. Her voice went quieter too, with that gentle assurance you wouldn’t expect from Pinkie at first. “You’re the best musician in Ponyville! I’m sure your friends would love to see you perform.”

“Bon Bon, too,” Surprise added, holding my lyre case. I wasn’t going to ask how she acquired it, but I doubt I would have gotten a clear answer. Opening the case, she very gently put my instrument before me. 

Staring at it, I suppose I should’ve felt more tense. But instead, I saw it as a way to get rid of said tension. Music is good for the soul, and an instrument is the vessel that allows you to channel your emotions. Either to vent them, or to explore them. Ponies, young or old, instantly react to the sound of music. Whether they love it or hate it, it shows they were alive.

And so was I. Bon Bon and my friends probably didn’t expect me up on stage, but looking at my lyre, I felt the urge to surprise them and share some of the music I could make. Carefully, I grabbed it, instantly feeling a little reassured. 

“I’ll do it,” I told them both, standing up. I was immediately met with nuzzles from both sides of my face.

“I knew you would!” Pinkie chirped. “Now get out there and dazzle the crowd!”

“Make a scene! Be a star!” Surprised joined in, the pair both donning star shaped sunglasses.

Nodding, lyre in my magic hold, I slowly walked up to the stage. Going past the curtains, I entered stage right and almost fainted.

The crowd was a sea of immenseness. This wasn’t a party, it was a damned concert. All eyes turned on me and I quickly avoided their gaze. Thankfully I knew that the trick to being on stage was just to look above the audience, at the back wall. There wasn’t a wall here, but a nice view of the town ahead. 

Then I made the mistake of looking to my left. Two of music’s greatest icons stood there. Vinyl Scratch, surrounded by her DJ equipment, looking very at ease in her ‘control station’. The light glinted off her neon glasses, a brilliant grin on her face. 

Then there was Octavia, a complete stunner and contrast to Vinyl. Standing on her hindlegs alone, with only her cello by her side. Her poise was elegant, her face composed. Even though she only had a bowtie on, I couldn’t help but feel underdressed for this. My heart threatened to tear through my chest. Octavia was standing right before me, like an actual pony!

And I was to battle her at her own craft.

The two turned to me. Octavia’s face was unreadable, but Vinyl’s grin only increased. “Looks like we got a new challenger!” 

I opened my mouth and… “Yeeeearble…” Not that I needed my mouth to play anyway, but it would’ve been nice if it actually worked for my first impression. I noticed the barest hint of a smirk at the corner of Octavia’s lips.

“Well we don’t need your name to battle anyways, and I’ve been sitting here for too long doing nothing. So let’s get this party started!” Vinyl raised a hoof, pumping it in the air, ready to rock. Or wub, in her case.

Octavia looked at her, unimpressed, saying, “At least give her a chance to get ready.”

I mumbled a thanks and shuffled past the cellist, taking place center stage. Lucky me. Looking down, I could see them. My friends, cheering me on. Derpy, Carrot Top, Kicky, Rainbow Dash, even Berry. Bon Bon, of course, stood out from the rest. 

I was still terrified mind you, but the sentiment was nice. Nodding at no one in particular, I signalled that I was as ready as I could ever be.

That was when Pinkie and Surprise zipped onstage, each holding a microphone. “Are you ponies ready for a music battle that likes you’ve never seen?!” Pinkie screamed. The crowd cheered in response. 

“Then let’s get started!” Surprise pointed at Vinyl. “DJ PON-3, you’re up!”

“Aaaaaw yeah!” Vinyl replied, slamming down a button on her DJ equipment. 

The crowd roared, while my ears were battered by the onslaught of wubs. Being so close to the huge speakers beside Vinyl, I couldn’t actually make out what she was playing. I could, however, feel the pure energy coursing through my veins. That’s what dubstep and things like that are to me. Less about musical grace and more about just having a good time. The crowd obviously thought so, ponies bobbing their heads to the beat. Octavia was less impressed. I could see her looking away, quite bored by the whole thing.

The crowd was a sea of movement and Vinyl was rhythmically pumping away at her gear, while little ol’ me stood in the middle of the stage, eyes wide. Lights from the stage were flashing onto the ponies below. A few seconds later, the music ended. Or maybe it was more like a minute. I honestly couldn’t tell since my senses were still recovering. 

Octavia rubbed her ears. “Seems it’s my turn then.” A part of me relaxed, knowing we would get some quieter music for a small while. The other part tensed up. It’s probably not fair to compare the two, given they have such different styles, but I do consider Octavia the better musician. At the very least, she wouldn’t be as intimidating.

Turns out I was very, very wrong, as usual. As soon as she started, bow in hoof, she almost became a blur of poetic fury, her foreleg zigzagging along the cello when she strung those strings. Her body moved from side to side, just to keep her balance from those powerful strokes of hers. If I was close enough, the bow would’ve probably impaled me. The music was fast, tense, and unlike any of the slow but beautiful pieces I had heard from her before.

And when it was all done, she hadn’t even broken a sweat. So she had three things going for her: beauty, her good music, and just being fit. Meanwhile, I felt like I was going to choke.

I told myself to calm down. At least I tried, but that would’ve resulted in me standing awkwardly on stage. It was time to play, not the moment for running like a coward. Having done that once… little else feels worse. 

Raising onto my hindhooves, I stood upright. That in itself might have raised eyebrows from the two musicians besides me, since I wasn’t using anything to support myself. My horn glowed and my ethereal hands came into being.

“Dude…” Vinyl began, staring at them. “That’s awesome.”

“Thanks?” I smiled. It felt forced. Eugh.

Deep breaths, I told myself. It might have helped, I’m not really sure. Closing my eyes did though; helped me get into the ‘zone’. I can’t really describe the ‘zone’—it’s just a thing that happens. I felt attuned to my instrument. In that moment, we were one and the same, and I was ready to play.

I started off slow. Some would see that as a mistake, especially considering how silent the crowd were. But start off loud and you’ve just wasted your crescendo. Still, given this was a battle, I had to step it up quickly. My fingers double timed it, plucking those strings of mine. The tempo increased and I could feel myself stomping a hoof to the beat. Soon, the crowd was as well. The energy—my energy—was passing onto them and invigorating their bodies, minds and spirits.

Of course, this being a battle, I didn’t have all day to impress. I ended on a loud note, the sounds echoing out across the crowd. Perhaps I could’ve ended more impressively, but I’d save that for later.

When my piece ended, so did my confidence. My breaths become shaky as I slowly opened my eyes, to see the crowd staring back. Okay, not staring, more like cheering ravingly. Now their enthusiasm was passed onto me, and I couldn’t help but smile.

I turned to Octavia, eager to see her reaction. She merely bowed her head, hiding a smirk. “Impressive. But that was only just the first round.” She readied her bow. “Time for the second.”

The crowd hadn’t even calmed time before she struck her bow along the cello’s strings. A deep hum permeated the air, commanding everypony’s attention. I could see a single drop of sweat roll down her forehead. Even that seemed strangely poetic. The notes were faster and stronger than any I had played, although the cello was naturally a powerful instrument anyway. I watched her, gaining a little competitive jealousy in my gut.

On her last note, she whipped around and pointed her bow to me as if to say ‘What say you?’ I would’ve replied in earnest, were it not for our other competitor. 

“Hey! You totally stole my turn!” Vinyl frowned. “Totally not cool, Octy.”

Octavia blinked, then drew away her bow, ears flattening slightly. And was that a faint blush I could see? Whatever it was, she looked cute. “I suppose I did… apologies.”

“Bah, it’s cool.” Vinyl waved her hoof across her equipment dismissively. “Just gave me more time to prepare. Now you should get ready...” Vinyl raised her hooves in the air and shouted, “For the bass of deeeestruction!!!”

I heard a small sigh besides me. “She knows nothing of subtlety…”

“I noticed,” I replied. To be honest, I’m not exactly subtle either, so I didn’t see it as a bad thing.

My poor ears got a hammering again. At this rate, I’d be deaf before I’d even turned thirty. Given my hobby, I didn’t feel like suffering that cruel irony. I briefly cursed myself for not knowing a spell that gave me magic ear buds. Glancing at Octavia, I only just then noticed she was wearing earplugs. 

Vinyl’s music wasn’t bad, but at this distance I couldn’t hear much but loud noise. I guess Octavia felt the same way. But again, the crowd was live and energized, so you couldn’t fault her for that. In fact, I felt like jumping down there and joining in the madness. That thought quickly disappeared when I realized ponies would have to catch me. The final blast from Vinyl’s speakers brought me back to reality.

Vinyl was done, and Octavia already had her turn, so now it was my time to shine once again. The crowd was ecstatic, but I wasn’t going to give them a chance to calm down. I eagerly strummed on those strings of mine, creating a beautiful melody that echoed throughout the area. Maybe even the whole town, although that thought was just me feeding my ego.

In hindsight, perhaps the guitar would have been a better instrument for this (I learned it during a phase in college). The lyre was nice, but it was also a delicate instrument much more home on quiet nights with a lover. Bon Bon would definitely agree with me there.

Regardless, I still wowed the crowd. They weren’t as loud as the attention Vinyl got, but it’s not really fair to compare our musical styles; I still think I did a good job. Octavia even gave me a nod of recognition.

Things just escalated from there. The atmosphere got more wild as we put our all into our instruments. My limbs ached, as did my head from keeping up my hands, and I really could’ve used a shower. Even Vinyl was sweating, despite being the least physically active out of all of us. I guess the heat of the stage lights didn’t help though.

I’m not sure how long it went on for. It was all a blur. A vivid one for sure, but a blur all the same. I know how it ended though. By then I was really into it all, the atmosphere, the music—everything. I hadn’t felt such euphoria since I used to perform on stage back in my college days. So I got a little carried away.

I moved my arms in wide big arcs, giving powerful strums with each swing that my lyre could only just handle. It was durable though, and had suffered far worse in my younger days (mostly during tantrums). Closing my eyes, I prepared for my final moment. I slid onto my hindlegs, skidding across the stage, rapidly plucking the strings into a final crescendo before…

“YEEEEEEEEEEEEEAH!!!” 

I really needed a drink after that.

The ponies below went silent, looking at me with wide eyes, blinking. Even Vinyl didn’t say anything. Coughing, my bravado was drained from me in one fell swoop. Smiling awkwardly, I stood up and dispelled my hands. I desperately tried to think of something cool to say, but nothing came to mind that didn’t suck. Luckily my mouth didn’t move for me.

“Well I guess that’s one way to finish a battle!” Pinkie cried, dashing back onto stage. “Now we’ll announce the winner!”

“And the winner iiiis…” Surprise darted from the other side, stomping her hooves on the stage floor. Pinkie did the same, then the crowd, creating a daunting drum roll. 

I blinked and took in that this was actually happening.

“Everypony! You’re all winners!” Surprise proclaimed, hugging everypony, including me. I didn’t really hug back, too shell shocked that everything back there really happened. 

“What?! That means we’re all losers too, dude,” Vinyl pointed out. 

“But you had fun, right?” Pinkie asked. 

The crowd roared in response and a sheepish smile formed on Vinyl’s features. “Well yeah, of course I did.”

“Then that’s why you’re a winner,” Surprise said, with a sagely nod of motherly wisdom. “Having fun even when losing is a sign of a strong character.”

The DJ lamely shrugged. “If you say so.”

“So I can go now?” I asked. It did sound a bit rude, but in my defense, my whole body was quivering. Pinkie and Surprise nodded so I made my way off the spotlight, down to backstage. I distinctly recall sitting down and just staring at my lyre for a couple of minutes.

I had done it. Really and truly. Somehow I had stood against the best Canterlot had to offer. And, now that I was still alive, I had enjoyed every single moment of the experience. I actually started laughing to myself, crazy as it seems. So lost in the euphoria of it all, I failed to notice a set of hoofsteps approach me.

“Very well done back there.” I blinked, and looked up to see Octavia smiling back at me. “I’ve never seen—or heard—a lyrist play like that. It was most… enlightening.”

“And radical. Don’t forget that, Tavi,” Vinyl added. 

‘Tavi’ rolled her eyes. “Quite… regardless, I was very impressed by your musical prowess; perhaps you should come to Canterlot sometime.”

I rubbed at an eye, unable to believe what was going on in front of me. “What, to perform?”

“Possibly. But I was more thinking along the lines of a casual get-together.” She looked around, then back to me. “That’s a common thing here, isn’t it?”

My cheeks were beginning to hurt from how much I was smiling today. “Yes! It is! I’d love to! When do—”

A white hoof made its way to my lips. “Dude. Chill,” Vinyl commanded. I obeyed because it’s freaking DJ PON-3. She smirked and withdrew. “Yeah. You’re gonna be a lot of fun, I can tell. Wanna down shots?”

Octavia let out a rather disgruntled sigh while I considered Vinyl’s offer. To be at an event like this and not get drunk was a travesty, to be honest. And drinking with Vinyl Scratch? That sounded way too awesome. Past Rainbow Dash levels of cool.

Yet a surprisingly large part of me drew away from it. For one thing, I doubt Octavia would’ve been impressed and while Vinyl was great too, I really wanted to stay in the former’s good books. But the most important reason was that there was a very special mare waiting for me amongst the chaos of the party. 

“Sounds fun Vinyl, but I really got to get back to my fillyfriend.” I laughed a little, rubbing the ground. “I was dragged away from her a little suddenly.”

“We understand,” Octavia replied. “When you find the time, do come visit. My address is… one moment.” She started to look around for something to write on. Her search was interrupted when Vinyl levitated over a piece of paper with surprisingly delicate magical engravings on it. It was definitely neater than anything I could have produced.

“Ah, thank you Vinyl,” Octavia said, nodding respectfully at her friend.

“No prob, bro.” Vinyl returned the gesture. She definitely had more of a cooler air about it though.

“Vinyl, how many times do I have to—” Facehoofing, Octavia gave up on that train of thought. “Regardless, take care of yourself… Lyra, was it?” 

“Yeah. Lyra Heartstrings,” Vinyl answered for me. She must have seen my confused stare I was giving her, so she explained. “Pinkie told me your name.”

That seemed to give Octavia an enlightened sense of awareness. “Oh, you’re a Heartstrings? I’ve heard a lot about—” Halting herself again, she coughed politely. “Sorry. I’m keeping you; we’ll have a lot more to discuss in the future, of that I’m sure.”

Nodding eagerly, I started to head back to my Bon Bon. “We will, definitely! It was an honor meeting you two!”

“The honor was all mine,” Octavia replied, giving me a little curtsy. 

“It was definitely way cool,” Vinyl added.

Giving them a quick wave, I headed back through the mess of ponies. Much to my shock, it was harder than expected given that a lot of ponies wanted me to stop so they could praise me on my performance. My cheeks turned redder and redder as I thanked them quickly and subtly tried to make my escape. At one point though, a congratulatory slap on the back from Rainbow sent me sprawling to the ground. Kicky delivered justice by helping me up, and wing whapping the Rainbow Menace.

Yet throughout all the commotion I had to go through, there was not one sign of my beautiful Bons. I started to get worried, biting my lip and nervously pacing about wherever she could be hiding. Suffice to say, she was definitely not near the bins with the drunks.

There was quite a few of them, which was to be expected given the scale of everything. A shiver passed through me when I saw them. Not too long ago, I was like them. Probably even worse.

A very strong body mass then piled onto me, bowling out my memories and the rest of my being. I struggled in its very strong grip, but I wasn’t afraid. I had never been happier this night until right then.

“You were amazing, love!” Bon Bon cheered, effortlessly flipping me over so I could stare right into her gorgeous eyes. Bons doesn’t get excited often—she’s a calm spirit at heart—but when she does, I can definitely feel it.

My blush, which was starting to fade, flared up in full force. Then Bon Bon pressed herself equally as forcefully against me and gave me a very passionate kiss. I returned it, giving her all that energy I still had from my performance.

When all was said and done, we were making out in the street, so when we had finished, I made my best attempt to push Bons off me. It didn’t work, but she got the message just fine. 

“As much as I love your sensual embrace…” I started, getting up and dusting myself off. “Shouldn’t we wait until the after party at least until we start banging like rabbits?”

My fillyfriend gave off a classic Bon Blush: her cheeks went rosy pink, looking extremely pinchable, and she began to fidget around. “Well, yes… I’m just so thrilled for you, that’s all.”

“I know, honey.” Closing my eyes, I rested my head against hers. We did this a lot, just being close to one another. It made both of us feel safe, happy and blissfully unaware of all the drama in our lives. But it wasn’t a ward against the latter.

Somepony tapped my shoulder, causing me to jerk back and spin around. Right into the face of Cherry. 

“So sorry to interrupt,” she lied through her teeth. “Just giving Bon Bon some advance notice about tomorrow.”

Bons smiled, stepping forth to meet my enemy. “Don’t worry about it, Cherry. What is it?”

“Well, me and Lyra agreed that we’d make a day out of tomorrow. Have some quality mare bonding, if you know what I mean?” She forcefully slung a foreleg around me and pulled me in. 

I gulped, but Bon Bon was distressingly unaware of such. “Oh that’s great!” she cried, looking upon us both with happy admiration. “I was worried there was some tension between you two.”

For the first time in my life, I thought Bon Bon was dumber than me. Even if it was just for a moment.

Cherry laughed sweetly. Yes, sweetly burning my ears from the inside out. “Don’t be ridiculous. We’re pretty cool with each other.” I practically froze when she started nuzzling me, but I forced a smile. If Bon Bon really knew how bad things were right then… “Right, Lyra?”

She nudged me when I didn’t respond, which ended up being counter-productive; she got me right in the ribs, almost winding me. “Y-Yeah…” I hastily coughed and spoke up, more confident. “Yeah! Of course!”

Cherry nuzzled me again, and every part of me screamed from the inside.
> The Pony Who's Not So Conflict Conscious
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Cherry had woken me up way too early; even Bon Bon seemed a bit grumpy in the morning. My head pounded and my eyes actually ached from all the sudden morning light exposure. But Cherry insisted that I go along with her, so I obeyed. Wasn’t like I had any choice.

I had a quick bowl of oats and some orange juice, enough to get me semi-awake, but not to fill my stomach; Cherry was passive aggressively pushing me to hurry up. So that was another annoyance to add to the list. We walked in silence through Ponyville, a cold morning mist seeping through the town. I totally didn’t shiver, since I had to look tough in front of Cherry.

It took me a little while, what with my groggy state, but eventually I realized that we were going nowhere near Cherry’s house. In fact, we were on track to Ponyville’s outskirts and between the misty surroundings, the silence and, y’know, Cherry, I… kinda feared for my life.

But I think getting murdered by Cherry would’ve been preferable to sharing a balloon ride with her. At least that might have been quick and relatively painless.

We approached her balloon, a silly pink thing and full of hot air. Rather like herself really. Once she got everything set up, she chucked me a helmet and inclined her head towards the basket. “Get in.”

“Uh, alright.” I strapped on the helmet and stepped aboard. My headgear felt a little too big for me but it’d probably save me if Cherry decided to push me out. Probably. 

Cherry got in and started up the fire, her expression one of calm focus. It was a small favor, actually; she kept quiet and I got to warm up by the fire. The balloon slowly left the ground and we gained altitude, Cherry settling us just above the lowest lying clouds. Once she made sure we were A-OK in the skies, the comfort I had vanished as she stared at me.

And she just… stared. She wasn’t really frowning either, just an expressionless stare. I’d like to say I returned it in kind but I had to end up looking away. Cherry is just really intimidating to me. It was clear to me why, though. Unlike Raindrops, who I could easily argue against and ignore, Cherry had a form of power over me. That being her friendship with Bons. I couldn’t exactly piss Cherry off too far, since that’d upset Bon Bon and I wouldn’t stand for that. Cherry knew that and she exploited it whenever she could.

I avoided her gaze, staring at the ground below. Despite being cooped up with my nemesis, I couldn’t help but feel a little envious of pegasi. The ground below, where it wasn’t interrupted by cloud cover, was like verdant tapestry of fields, trees and buildings. Ponyville looked completely deserted, something both chilling and fascinating at the same time.

After what seemed like forever, Cherry cleared her throat and spoke, “We need a talk that’s been a long time coming.”

I stopped staring at the ground and turned around. “This seems like an awfully high place just to have a talk.”

Cherry reached out to touch a cloud, except she didn’t touch it as much as her hoof just passed through it. I was worried—well concerned—that she might fall out but her movements were precise and confident. She’d done this many times before.

“Helps me think,” she said. And I actually saw her smile. Not a sarcastic or venomous one. An honest to Celestia sincere smile. “We’re far above the troubles of the world here.”

“Except we can’t really escape them,” I countered. 

“No, we can’t. But we all need a time to relax, now and then.” The smile vanished and that same old Cherry brand look of disgust and annoyance reappeared. “And you’ve been trying to escape from your problems all your life.”

I flinched. That… hit deeper than I would’ve thought. “Not really,” I said, but only to save face. Some part of me knew it was true, to an extent.

I mean, I was a college dropout and had done almost nothing of worth since. What does that tell you?

“Yes really,” Cherry shot back. “You have no job. Not even something simple like community service, or asking Carrot Top if you can help her. She always needs it.” Which was true. Carrot owned her own little bit of land. Nothing like the acres the Apples had, but it couldn’t have been easy to work her own land by herself.

Cherry took a step forward, heat rising in her voice. “But you don’t do any of that. Instead you lounge around all day, playing music in some half-hearted attempt to make yourself look cultured and smart—” she stopped to scoff, “and you mooch off your friends and even your own marefriend just so you don’t have to do anything.”

Okay, that’s where I drew the line. I’m not perfect. I know more than enough about that. But any implication that I don’t love Bon Bon or do what’s best for her makes me mad. Really mad. “That’s not fair! Even if I’m not a hard worker like she is, I make sure to give her lots of love every damn day.” I thought about it, then shrugged and said to myself ‘why not?’ So I said, “More than you’d ever get.”

I saw Cherry tense up, her frown getting deeper. “You’re in no position to start flinging insults. But if you want to play that way…” She got up right close to me and jabbed me in the chest with each word sentence she spoke. “You’re useless. A failure. Completely worthless to society. I’m still surprised to this day that you actually managed to hook up with Bon Bon. Any other pony would probably just leave you in the dust.”

It hurt. Both physically and within. I didn’t look away though. I wasn’t going to let her get the satisfaction of seeing me curl up like some coward.

“And that is why I dislike you, Lyra. You contribute nothing of worth to anypony. You’re just a big leech, mooching off of others so you don’t have to do anything yourself.” She lowered her voice and uttered the next sentence with as much disgust as she could, “It’s vile.”

“Put the balloon down, Cherry,” I ordered. Although my voice was probably too timid for it to have been an order. More like an assertive suggestion.

Cherry scoffed. “And let you run away from the truth? Again?”

“I get it,” I shot back. “You think I’m a piece of crap and would probably be better off gone. No need to rub it in.”

She rolled her eyes, holding up a hoof. “Oh please. Don’t play the ‘I know I’m so bad please feel sorry for me’ card. It’s the same card drunks play just so they have an excuse to feed their addiction.”

“No, I’m not playing that card,” I said, narrowing my eyes. “I’m playing the ‘help, I’m being harassed by a psycho bitch, please let me go for Celestia’s sake’ card.” Not the catchiest name, I know.

Cherry seemed to consider me for a few seconds, then huffed and turned to the balloon… controls? In any case, she made the fire start burning a bit less. “Fine.” The balloon started to peacefully fall towards the ground.

I leaned on the side of the balloon, taking deep breaths. My legs were shaking and I felt a little sick. And I don’t think that was from the height, either.

My head was filled with questions. Was Cherry in the right? Was I really, as she said, a waste on society? Did all I do for my friends was… mooch off them?

And more importantly, why? Not the why as to why I was so bad, but why was I taking this from a pony like Cherry? Call me what you want, I don’t think I deserved this.

I still had to answer the questions about myself, but I knew one answer: fear. Fear was why I was being bossed around by Cherry. I was afraid that she would undo everything I had worked had for just by telling ponies I had tampered with her mail without permission.

Sure, it wasn’t much. Almost trivial, to any other pony. But it was more important to me. And I’m not sure how I would’ve reacted if that was reduced to nothing.

So I guess the real fear was me relapsing into my old ways. It wasn’t Cherry at all. She was just a mosquito. An annoying little thing, hard to to swat yet ultimately a small threat.

I realized I should probably indulge in my thoughts a little more and not Bon Bon’s bon bons. (But not her bon bons, if you know what I mean.)

Then I felt myself smirk as we reached the ground. I wouldn’t simply walk away from Cherry. No, far too easy. Instead, I’d pretend to be submissive, until I found the perfect moment to do… whatever it was I was going to do. Look, I hadn’t formed the details just yet, but by being patient and waiting, I would.

Cherry set the balloon down and tethered it to the ground. “Once we’re done here, you can go back with me and clean up my house. I’m starting to notice too much dust.”

“Sure,” I said, getting out of the basket and keeping my jaw clenched. As long as I looked angry, she wouldn’t notice I was really trying to hide my mischievous grin.





Cherry had a task for me the moment we stepped into her house.

“I have some dishes that need cleaning, from yesterday. So get that done,” she ordered, making a turn into her living room.

“So… what you’re saying is that you were too lazy to do them?” I asked cheekily.

“No. Too busy,” she snapped. “There was a party last night, if you recall.”

I sniffed the air, trotting into the kitchen. “Smells like irony,” I muttered. 

In Cherry’s sink were a few used dishes and cups. I didn’t see any cutlery because, y’know, earth ponies. It didn’t seem like it’d be too long and painful, so I got to work. With my magic, of course. It’s not lazy to use magic to complete tasks—it’s efficient. You don’t call pegasi lazy for using their wings, after all.

Unless it’s Rainbow Dash sleeping on a cloud. Then yeah, you’d call her lazy. Then again, she’s not using her wings for sleeping, just to get to a good sleeping spot. So ... lazy-ish?

It was a simple enough task. At least the soap smelled good. I wasn’t working particularly hard though, only to a standard that looked good enough. Cherry didn’t deserve anything better, after all. I did, however, call Cherry to let her know I had finished.

“Fine, coming, coming,” she replied curtly, taking her sweet time getting to me. She peered at the dishes, not actually bothering to touch them to inspect more closely. “It’ll do,” she said, not batting an eyelid towards me.

I grunted at her—it wouldn’t have done me any justice to complain when I only did a shabby job in the first place. “What now?”

Cherry simply grinned at me. It was an expression that seemed to foreshadow all sorts of horrors. But I tried to keep my cool as she went upstairs and came back down with… a toilet brush. The eyebrow wiggle she gave me didn’t exactly make me feel better either.

“Yeah, yeah, I got it…” I drawled out, taking the brush with my magic and beginning to journey upstairs. Which is what I would’ve done, if life were that simple.

Sadly, it isn’t, and I was about to be reminded of that by a knock on the door. I flicked my head towards the kitchen, but Cherry was already on the way to answer it. She shot me a firm glance, likely silently ordering me to go upstairs. I totally didn’t.

Cherry swung open the door, her body blocking the newcomer. But the pony was slightly taller than she was, with a dark cerise mane on top her head. 

“Yo. Is Lyra around?” she asked.

I took in a sharp breath. Berry.

“She’s busy,” Cherry tersely replied. “You and her can go drinking like tramps later on, when she’s available.” 

“Uh-huh,” Berry said. Well, that doesn’t do what she sounded like justice. She was half in-coherent. I did wonder if she was drunk but not even a wasted Berry would come here. Clearly she just didn’t give a damn at the moment. 

She entered the house herself, shoving Cherry aside being a very intended consequence. I couldn’t help but smirk at her and she gave me a little knowing smile back. “A toilet brush? Really?”

I stuck my tongue out, giving her a dumb look, and tapped my head with the brush—not the brushie side. “Well, you know me.”

“I sure do. So I’m kinda wondering why you’re doing Cherry’s housework for her,” the statement/question wasn’t directed at me, since Cherry turned around, giving her a death glare. Cherry’s own expression was equally filled with hatred.

“The hay do you think you’re doing to my friend?” Berry demanded, taking an aggressive step forward.

“Teaching her a lesson in work,” Cherry shot back, also taking a step forward. 

“Well I think she’s gotten the message by now,” Berry said, accompanied by a silent nod courtesy of myself. 

“Let her go now and she’ll relapse back into her old ways.” Cherry’s eyes narrowed to almost slits and her voice was filled with spite as she spoke, “Just like a certain pony I know.”

Berry stopped for a moment, then flicked her tail, a whip like motion. “I got better,” she growled. 

“Yet I still find you in a drunken haze, from time to time,” Cherry said, sighing trivially.

“That’s for fun. Any idiot would see that,” Berry replied, her words heated. Both of their body gestures were tense, and as I walked up to Berry, I could hear her deep breathing. Cherry was the same, her chest movements barely visible under her coat.

You didn’t need Twilight Sparkle to tell you what was going on. Although I couldn’t help but wonder why. Cherry was a nuisance, and a colossal cow, but I didn’t see that as a reason to make a huge scene over.

Gently, I put a hoof on Berry’s shoulder. And damn, that mare had some muscle to her. Regardless, I chose my words carefully, speaking at a slow pace. “Berry, I appreciate you coming here, but I’m not worth starting a fight over, okay?”

Berry firmly shrugged my hoof off her. “Stay out of this, Lyra. Please.”

When Berry actually uses polite language, you know she’s serious. I backed off.

“This is between us,” Cherry said, not taking her eyes off Berry for even a split-second. That’s when I knew what they shared: history. With similar sounding names, I wasn’t surprised they had clashed before. I never knew it was this serious though.

“Cherry, this is low. Even for you,” Berry spat, flicking her head towards me. “I don’t care if you think you’re doing some sort of ‘greater good’ or bullcrap—this is wrong. Let her walk away from this, without any complications, and things between us will be civil.”

“Fine. She can go,” Cherry said, surprisingly trivial in her words. She even waved at me dismissively. I wasn’t jumping for joy though; despite her apparent ‘loss’, she was still smirking wickedly. “But you barged yourself into my home without me welcoming you in. That makes you an intruder.”

Berry actually flinched. It was the slightest of movements but I felt it beside her. I looked between her and Cherry, frowning in puzzlement. “Okay. So we’ll go. All fair, no foul.”

“First, that isn’t how the phrase goes. And second…” Berry shook her head, letting out an angry sigh. “We’re going by earth pony customs here. Because I’m an intruder, that means Cherry has every right to defend herself.”

I blinked a few times, trying to comprehend that. “So… that means Cherry can fight you and be completely in the right?”

Berry nodded. “Sorta. I mean, she couldn’t injure me really badly—we’re a lot more civilised than we were years ago—but it doesn’t mean the law will be exactly warm towards me either.”

I bit my lip, glancing towards Cherry. I raised my voice, pleading, “You’re not gonna exercise that right, are you? You’re surely not that much of a bitch?!”

Cherry shot me an annoyed look. “Don’t be so melodramatic, Lyra. Honesty, unicorns…” she grumbled.

“It’s not so bad, to be honest,” Berry said, as she rolled her neck and shoulders. “Earth ponies always settled arguments this way, back in the day.”

“But… but! You…” My words fell short. I knew earth ponies were more durable than the other pony races, yet that didn’t make the thought of my friend in a fight any more comforting. There wasn’t anything I could do either, unless I wanted to risk getting involved in the fight. Sure, I had magic, but nothing that would stop tons of meat as it slammed into me.

“So we’re really doing this?” Cherry wondered, unimpressed.

“Been a long time coming,” Berry said shortly. Every other part of her was readying itself for what lay ahead.

“I suppose it has…” Cherry replied, then the two of them fell into a deadly silence.

I expected them to clash immediately. What happened was something a lot safer and more my style. Their eyes never left their charge, as their bodies were crouched slightly, ready to pounce or dodge or some other maneuver. 

After a few seconds of that, some action started in the way of Cherry stomping on the floor. It created a resonant ‘thump!’ through the hall. Berry replied to that with her own stomp, snorting as she did so, and hers was even louder.

It looked really primal, actually. Maybe that wasn’t a big shock, though. I mean, this was an earth pony fight in the making, and they probably started by the opponents trying to show off and be the most dominant. One last attempt to avoid direct conflict.

And it looked like it might have worked. Cherry’s stomps got nowhere near as loud as Berry’s, despite their rising urgency and strength. Berry was actually moving closer now, backing Cherry up towards the door. 

Which was the perfect situation for Cherry. She kicked off from the door, making it rattle on its hinges, and charged towards Berry. She was totally unprepared as that bitch slammed into her, head first right into her muzzle. Berry stumbled back, almost bumping into me. She held her muzzle but even I could see the blood dripping from it.

“Berry! Are you okay?!” I cried, trying to go to her side but she pushed me away. 

“Fine.” She licked the blood off her hoof, her muzzle a bloody mess. “She’s just given me a taste for blood now.”

I didn’t exactly have time to wonder whether that was an appropriate comment at that moment, since Cherry lashed out for Berry’s cheek with a hoof. Berry blocked the strike firmly, parrying it with her own leg. Her head made the tiniest of movements, left to right, and she began backing out of the cramped wall, into the kitchen.

Cherry was hot on her tail. Or in this case: face. She kept lashing out with her hooves, but considering they were both walking, it was harder for Cherry to gain a good reach on Berry. I kept my distance, watching as my friend deflected blow after blow.

Then Cherry raised up onto her hind legs, her forelegs poised to slam down onto Berry’s head. Berry also stood up and their forelegs clashed, flailing over each other, trying to gain some sort of edge. It was a mess, but Berry, thankfully, didn’t get harmed. Neither did Cherry.

Their hind legs quivered and they went back down, eyeing each other up. Then Cherry sided up to her kitchen and grabbed a freakin’ frying pan. Now I was getting pissed; I could practically feel my blood boil. My magic wasn’t anything special (hands exempted) but it could help me out in pinch. Just as Cherry was about to strike, I covered the pan in my magic and yanked it out of her hoof.

Clearly she didn’t plan ahead much and she fumbled, her hoof not even getting close to smacking Berry. My friend took her chance, delivering a solid blow to Cherry’s cheek, then slamming her into the kitchen counters. There was a loud slam and all the plates I had washed clattered. 

Cherry, now dazed and confused, a nasty bruise on her cheek, had lost. Berry snorted and turned, raising her hind legs…

Yeah. I grinned in delight.

The kick was powerful, as I expected. Berry hit Cherry’s chest, sending the mare flying and hitting the wall, where she slid down onto the floor. She was unconscious but her chest was rising and falling normally, so she would be fine. Whether Berry had broken any ribs or not remained to be seen, yet frankly I couldn’t bring myself to care. Karma’s a bitch, right?

Berry sniffed indignantly and headed over to me. “Let’s go.”

And so we left.





Berry stumbled into her home, holding her nose, groaning to herself. The adrenaline had faded for me as well, making me all jittery. I took in some deep breaths when the door behind us closed.

“Thank Celestia they’re at school…” Berry said, going to her kitchen.

“Y-Yeah,” I agreed. Berry wasn’t one to get into fights. At least, physical ones. Seeing her with a bloody nose may have led her sisters to believe she had gone back to her drunkenly ways. I swore under my breath and followed her.

She was gazing at a mirror, gingerly touching at her bloody muzzle. “Damn,” she muttered, looking at me through the mirror. “Help me clean up?”

“‘Course,” I said, getting a wash cloth and applying water to it. “Sit,” I told her and she did. I cast my magic hands and began the slow and painful process of cleaning up. Berry winced and fidgeted but she was brave. Braver than me, anyway.

Could I have used levitation instead of my hands to do the job? Yeah. But levitation isn’t the be-all and end-all of magic. It can be very precise, if you’ve trained enough, but it’s applying pressure with it that’s the problem. It’s hard to do since you’re not in contact with what you’re controlling. My hands, however, were connected to the cloth and me. I got the best of both worlds.

We were silent for a while, aside from the occasional grunt from Berry. I figured it was for the best. Only focused on the job, there was less chance of me messing up and hurting her. Once her face was clean and looked acceptable, I washed the cloth in the sink. By the time I was done, I found Berry sitting on her couch. I joined her.

“Well thank Goddess that’s over,” Berry said, stretching her legs.

“You want to start by telling me what the hay that was about?” I asked, nearly glaring at her.

Berry slowly turned her head, devoid of any interest. “A fight for dominance. Or, as you unicorns might know it better as: a duel.”

“Aren’t the guards going to come for you?!” And probably me, by extension, if Cherry had her way.

She shrugged. “Yeah.”

“What—” Berry’s hoof firmly placed itself over my mouth.

“Calm down, Lyra. Yeesh.” She rolled her eyes, taking her hoof off me. “They’ll ask me questions, sure, but I didn’t break any law. Cherry lost the right to accuse me of much when she started fighting me. If she hadn’t, maybe she could’ve got me down for trespassing. But she didn’t.”

“You knocked her unconscious! Into a wall!” I exclaimed.

“It was her own fault, Lyra. If I had continued to beat her after that, then yes, I’d be arrested. She accepted the fight, though. Furthermore, I didn’t break anything of hers, except maybe a bit of the wall. The guards are just going to see it as a scuffle and nothing more.” Berry waved a hoof absently. “That assumes Cherry even would go to them. And I doubt it; she loves her self-image too much to admit she lost.”

“Oh.” I sunk back into the comfy fabric of the couch, feeling that anxiety float out of me. “We’re fine then. We’re good.”

“Well, I am,” Berry started. I froze. “You’re not.”

“What do you mean?” My mind flashed back to my actions. “Wait, what?! I can’t be arrested for pulling a frying pan out of her grasp!”

Berry glared at me with a blunt expression. “No, Lyra. This isn’t about the fight.” Her look softened. “Thanks for the save, though.”

“No problem.” I straightened up. “So… why aren’t I good?”

Berry shuffled closer to me, staring at me right in the eyes. It was… kinda intense, really. “What the hay were you doing, working for Cherry Berry?” 

She sounded disgusted and I turned my head away in shame. “She was blackmailing me.”

Berry’s voice suddenly gained ire. “Blackmailing you?”

I nodded slowly. “Yeah, she…” Licking my lips, my hooves started tapping nervously together. “I may have tampered with the mail…”

Berry hummed lowly. “You did?”

“Only to check who it was for!” I hastily explained, fidgeting. “I wasn’t interested in what was inside!” Really. I wasn’t.

Then I received a hard slap upside the head. “Ow!”

Grumbling, I rubbed my head as Berry spoke, “You… schmuck. You can’t be arrested for tampering with the mail for that. Nopony can. You’re just doing your job!”

I held a hoof to stop the onslaught of insults I’d probably get. “I knew that! But it wasn’t about that. Really! But I knew that if Cherry told everypony about it, she’d twist the truth into something far worse, and I’d lose what little credibility I have.” 

“Lyra…” Berry sighed, putting a foreleg around me. It felt tender, a far cry from her usual bluntness. “Why do you even care about that?”

I snorted. “I think credibility is pretty important.”

“I’m not saying it ain’t. I’m saying…” She shook her head. “Look, I’m not a wordsmith, but think about what’s worrying you. Did you care that you had tampered the mail?”

“No. Not really,” I began. “I was more concerned about what other ponies would think—”

“And there’s your problem,” Berry interrupted, giving me a quick squeeze. “I know what you’re trying to do, Lyra. You’re trying to better yourself. And that’s good. But you need to do it for yourself, first and foremost. If you spend your life running around for others, you’ll never have time for yourself.”

I didn’t say anything. I simply stared at the floor, feeling secure in Berry’s half-hug. She kept talking. “You know why I think you’re lazy, Lyra? I think it’s because all your energy is spent on the ponies you love, but that means nothing’s left for you.”

I considered her words carefully. It’s funny how a few sentences can make you think harder than any complicated math equation. The gist of it, however, was clear to me. “Are you telling me I have self-esteem issues?”

“Maybe,” Berry said. “I’m not you, Lyra.”

I settled into her semi-embrace a bit more. She was surprisingly comfy, I had to say. “You sound like you know what you’re talking about though.”

“Well, yeah…” Her gaze drifted over to a bottle of wine, on a cabinet opposite us. “I’ve been in crappy places before.”

“Your sisters pulled you out of that one,” I told her, shifting a bit so I could place a foreleg around her too. “You did it for them.”

I felt her chest sink as she breathed out. “Yeah. I did. But I also did it for me.” I looked up at her, but her chin came down on me, resulting in us nuzzling each other. “They helped me realize how bad I’d become. And how tired I was of it. I was fed up with being a useless, drunk thing that only alienated her friends. So yeah, I did it for them, but mostly for me.”

She put a hoof under my chin, lifting my head up to look at her. “And that’s what you have to do, Lyra. I’m sure Bon Bon will be thrilled at your improvement but I guarantee you’re gonna be happier.”

That was when my mind started to drift. I thought about me, myself and I. I thought about my music and the joy it made me feel every time I listened to a beautiful melody. How every note I played on my lyre made me feel alive and the whole world around me so much more vibrant. How I could make others feel such joy with my music and how happy that made me feel in return. I could hear the notes in my head now, to such familiar songs. Ones I knew off by heart, and some that were played simply from it.

Evidently I didn’t look good though, since Berry shoved me away, snapping me out of my daze. “I’m not kissing you Lyra. Ew,” she said, smirking.

“Wasn’t planning on it. Didn’t want my minty fresh breath to get stained with alcohol,” I retorted, standing up and ducking under a cushion Berry threw.

“Buck off,” Berry retorted, nodding at the door with a grin.

“Yeah yeah, I will.” Okay, so maybe it wasn’t an exactly inspiring moment, but right then, I guess I knew what my destiny was. If you believe in that sort of thing.

I turned back to Berry and placed her cushion neatly on the couch. I shot her a kind smile. “Thanks though. For the advice. For pulling my silly flank out of there. For—”

Again, Berry cut me off. “Thanks for being my friend, yeah, I getcha.” She gave a sly wink in my direction. “Now don’t you have a fillyfriend to get to?”

Those words made my whole world feel like it was rumbling on its very foundations. “Bon Bon! I have to tell her about this whole Cherry thing…” I paced around the room, frowning. “But she’ll be heartbroken. And I really don’t want to do that to her. She only deserves the best in the world.” 

Berry hummed in thought, frowning. Her expression then relaxed and she shrugged at me. “You’re the love expert. Not me. Sorry. But if I was some old wise pony sage… I’d probably say it’s bad to keep secrets to those close to you. That’s what we earth ponies reckon, anyway.”

“I know that but…” I bit my lip, pondering briefly. “It’s fine,” I said. It wasn’t. “I’ll think of something.” I couldn’t.

“You do that, Lyra,” Berry said, stretching her limbs out on the couch. “As for me, I need a quick rest…”

“Yeah, think you do,” I agreed, smiling fondly at her. “Later, Berry.”

She gave me a lazy wave. “Later.”

And then I opened the front door and slipped out of Berry’s house, heading for home.





I think I’m a bit of an ironic pony.

Despite having parents who were nobles, I ended up squandering my life in a little town just nearby Canterlot. And even though the Heartstrings before me were all spies, I’m not a mare of many secrets. Relationships are built on trust and secrets usually don’t have much of a place in that.

Which was why stepping back into Bon Bon’s house felt incredibly tough. My eyes darted around as I walked in, closing the door behind me as quietly as I could. I’m not sure why I did. Maybe it was part of me being brave; I could just as easily have hung around town for the whole day and avoided this. But I didn’t.

That said, Bon Bon’s home always brought feelings of stability to me. It was an extension of herself, I supposed. Add to the fact that I was tired and hungry and going back to her place seemed like a more rational decision.

Morning light was pouring through the open curtains on the windows, creating nice spots of heat and light throughout the house. Bon Bon generally didn’t keep her curtains closed, so that morning light could wake her up more naturally, as well as heat up the house. 

I had a plan, of course: sleep in for the whole day. I deserved it, after the morning’s shenanigans. To make up for it, I definitely had big plans tomorrow.

The first step of the stairs creaked under my weight and I heard Bon Bon make a small noise. Then she came into the hallway and looked up at me. “Oh, you’re back early. Have a good time with Cherry?”

I offered her the best grin I could put on. “Oh, you know… mare talk.”

I got lucky apparently; Bon Bon chuckled. “Cherry is one for that, yes. As well as making some of the best jokes I’ve ever heard. Even if they toe the line from time to time.”

“She sure is a raunchy one!” I agreed, lying through my damn teeth. I put my other foreleg on the step.

“And where are you going?” Bon Bon questioned, joining me on the step. 

“Sleep,” I answered in a speedy manner. “Early start and all.”

“Hm.” Bon Bon raised an eyebrow. That simple gesture of hers was enough to send me into a cold sweat. I prayed she didn’t detect it. “Why did she want you so early anyway?”

“Balloon!” I spluttered out. “Balloon ride. It was really beautiful, seeing the sun rise over the horizon.” I smiled. Partially because yes, it was true, and partially because I felt grateful that life had handed me a good answer.

“Ah. She’s taken me before, so I know what you mean,” Bon Bon said, nuzzling me. It would’ve been nice if it didn’t feel like she was smearing me with guilt. “One of life’s simplest joys.”

“Sure is. Like music,” I said, then instantly segwayed into another topic. “Speaking oooof! I’m going to Canterlot. Tomorrow.” I nodded eagerly.

“Seeing the parents again?” Bon Bon asked, tilting her head. “You only just saw them recently.”

I hid a sigh of relief, the metaphorical burden I was carrying getting considerably lighter. She’d taken the bait hook, line and sinker. Now I could file away the Cherry issue for a later date, when I could figure out the best way to break it to Bons.

My mind moved onto other, better things. “You’re right, I did.” I took another step, positioning myself higher than her. I puffed up my chest and looked towards the ceiling, likely getting a gleam of pure passion in my eye. “But I’m not going there to see them.”

“Lyra,” Bon Bon said, tilting my head gently so I was looking at her again. I went down a step, my inspirational image lost. “If that’s the case, then who are you visiting? If it’s anypony at all, anyway.”

“Oh, it definitely is a somepony,” I said, smirking almost wildly. “Find my shades, sweetie. I’m going to pay a visit to DJ-PON3.”
> The Pony Who's Not One Note
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sometimes I regret ever moving away from Canterlot.

Truly, it's the sparkling gem in Equestria and no other place in the land can compare to it. It's built into a mountain, for one thing. That alone is pretty hard to top, considering most big mountains are dragon territory only (de facto rather than de jure, but there were few brave souls that would argue the point), but it's also a thriving hub of activity and—well, life itself. You'll never run out of things to do in Canterlot since something is always going on. From a theatre play to a young musician trying out their luck in a coffee club, crazy parties at night and open buffets in the stunning gardens. 

Ponyville's a lovely place too, don't get me wrong, but in my heart I think I'll always be a Canterlot mare.

Back at the concert, Octavia had intended to give me her address, but Vinyl beat her to the punch and gave me a paper telling me both their addresses. Which was just as well, really. The thought of going to the Octavia’s home made my legs start to feel numb. Vinyl on the other hoof seemed a lot more laid back. Maybe I wouldn’t embarrass myself. Maybe.

Canterlot’s divided into many districts, but there are only a few important ones you need to know. As I walked away from the train station, I found myself entering one of the shopping areas. Not as big as the one in the centre of the city, but still nice for a couple of spending sprees if you had the bits. Ponies of every social standing were here, from tourists to the high class unicorns with their polished monocles. 

Honestly, I never understood monocles. I remember trying one on once and always having to squint just to keep it in place.

Now, being right next to the station, this district led to many others. To the west and the east were the living spaces for most normal ponies, although the east was slightly more upper class. The architecture was heavily borrowed from earth pony buildings, just with that added Canterlot flair. The address Vinyl gave me didn’t point to either of those places. In fact, I don’t think it was even Octavia’s, like she’d meant to give me. So I went directly into the heart of the city. This was where big meant business. All around me were huge buildings and towers ... er, towering above me. 

The cobble street roads were miraculously polished and litter was completely nonexistent. Ponies ferrying passengers in taxis trotted to and fro and the streets were a network upon which pedestrians could go about their business. Unlike Manehattan, which was just a cluster of madness and anarchy, Canterlot was much more controlled. There was even some social chatter here and there on the street benches, under the lamps or even on corners. Such brief interaction was completely unheard of in Manehattan. It got busier at night, though.

I stopped to take a whiff of the air. It was clean, almost pure even. I even detected a whiff of perfume in it. I sighed happily, almost deflating into a puddle of content.

“The hay are you doing?”


I jumped, whipping around to face a gruff looking stallion, a newspaper poking out of his brown saddlebag.

“Not going where I should be!” I answered through my teeth, trying to smile and shrug my behaviour off. 

The stallion shook his head and turned, walking off. As he left, I distinctly heard him say, “Freakin’ students…”

I frowned, unsure how to take that. Sure, it was an unintentional compliment on my looks but all the same...

These were the streets I used to roam in my younger days, when the world seemed so big and I felt like I had the potential to do anything I wanted. The days when dinner meant ordering pizza with friends. The stupid and rash decisions you always made, like partying out until the early hours of the morning when you had a lecture to attend in only five hours!

I couldn’t see it from here, but I could feel the Kicker Fort stare down at me. Back when I had dated Kicky, it almost felt like a second home to me. Now? I barely visited. It’d feel … shameful to do so, after what I had done. Or rather, what I hadn’t—Kicker elders didn’t exactly approve of slackers.

My steps became heavy as I passed the shops, bars and clubs. A lot of them were full of students, chatting, drinking, doing stupid things students do. Now I remembered why I didn’t come here as much as I would've liked to: it was a trip down memory lane.

Vinyl lived in the classier part of the city, no big surprise there. For a series of apartment blocks, they actually looked quite nice. Canterlot is a city famed for actually taking care with its architecture, unlike most big cities. All the buildings were pretty to look at, light colors and ivy allowed to grow on them. Instead of looking tacky, it looked natural. Even classical. Maybe it was what Canterlot used to look like, back in the day.I strolled up to Vinyl’s apartment block and immediately noticed that all the rooms seemed to have really nice balconies. Even if the view was subpar, it was still probably a nice feature. Standing outside the doors, I turned to look at an odd device. Essentially a trumpet, connecting through some complicated looking tubings to the building and a panel with buttons to the side. I pressed the button that corresponded to Vinyl’s apartment room and waited for the buzz to end.

“Uh…” I said into the trumpet. “Hello? Lyra here. You know, from the big Ponyville concert … um.”

It took a couple seconds of me standing in awkward, fidgeting in silence but eventually… “You’re finally here! Sweet!” Vinyl’s voice sounded a little tinny through the trumpet-doorbell-thing. “I’ll let you in, one sec.”


Sure enough, the double doors opened up and I stepped through. Looking down, I could see my own reflection in the marble floor. There was a desk, and a gruff-looking security pony sitting at it. Behind him were boxes on the wall, probably for sorting mail and the like. I walked by him and he gave me a curt nod. 

Vinyl was a few floors up and as I was coming up the stairs, I found her leaning against the door frame. “Welcome to Canterlot, buddy. S’up?”

“Nothing much. Except wondering what the hay I did to get here,” I replied, holding out a hoof to hoofshake or hoofbump or something polite.

Vinyl snerked, ignoring my hoof and waltzing inside her apartment. “Being cool is the only prerequisite to enter my pad. Come in.”

I followed her in, taking a quick glance to take stock of my surroundings. It was a student’s paradise. Modern, sophisticated, and totally trashed. The carpet flooring was soft to the touch, which was quite welcome after the walk on Canterlot’s hard streets. The furniture was bold in its coloring but not distasteful, all the angles and sides were perfectly straight; another sign of modern decor.

“Nice place,” I said.

“Thanks.” Vinyl pointed towards the red couch. “Have a seat.” 

I nodded and looked towards the red couch, my jaw dropping a little as I saw the regal Octavia sitting upon it. Suddenly, my heart started to pick up a little.

“Want anything to drink?” Vinyl asked from her kitchen area.

“Juice!” I hastily answered, staring at Octavia. “Erm, hello again.”


Octavia smiled at me, one of those upper class smiles where you can’t really read them properly. “It’s good to see you again, Lyra.”

“Good to be here!” I responded, trying not to sound too eager but… I was in front of the Octavia!

Luckily, Vinyl was there to keep me grounded. “Here you go.”

“Thanks,” I said, smiling at her before taking the glass and having a sip. I licked my lips, savoring it, and sat down on the couch. “Mm, good.”

“Sweet. Alright, let’s chat.” Vinyl walked over, sitting down next to me, stretching her legs out a bit. 


“That works for me.” In my head at least. I tapped my glass, trying to come up with at least one conversation topic. I didn’t know these mares personally and here I was, in one of their homes, chatting it up with them like societal boundaries didn’t even exist.

However, a good question never failed to strike up conversation. “So, uh, I have to ask... why did you invite me over? I'm nothing special really.”

“Well,” Octavia started, “we wanted to talk to you about something important.”

That perked my interest, as well as my brow. “Huh?”

“You're wrong about one thing,” Vinyl said. “You’re far from ‘nothing special’; you got talent.”

“And it would be a pity not to put it to good use,” Octavia continued. Honestly, the way they spoke after each was so perfectly timed, it could’ve been rehearsed. I guess they were just that in synch with each other.

“Well ... maybe some, but nothing on your level,” I replied. Sure, I had studied music as a student, but that doesn’t automatically make you gifted at the craft. A lot of ponies I knew there were your typical student lot: they had that sort of naive arrogance to them, that they thought they could conquer the world and everything in it. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Then again, I am a dropout.

“You're putting yourself down too much. From what I saw back in Ponyville, you really are quite good,” Octavia urged. 

Neither of these two seemed like the type to make bold-faced lies or put ponies in positions they could never hope to achieve. They were among the best in the industry right now, which was amazing given they were relatively new to it all. If they thought… I dwelled on it further, sipping my juice. “Well if you think so.”

“I know so. I could tell you put your heart and soul into your performance back there,” Octavia said with a sort of regal finality. 

Vinyl smirked at me. “Even if you got a little carried away.”

“Which isn’t a bad thing,” Octavia cut in. “You really shouldn't put yourself down.”

Nothing wrong with being humble and acknowledging your own weaknesses. At least, I thought so. I held up my forehooves. “Alright, alright, but what does this have to do with you inviting me here?”

Then Octavia dropped the bombshell: “Talking you into pursuing a musical career, for one.”

They could butter me up with talk about how good I was, but the musical business was much more than ‘being good’. It was vicious. You needed to be strong and have connections, lest you be chewed up and spat out onto the sidewalk. 

“I don't know about that,” I admitted.

“Well, what're you doing right now that's so much better?” Vinyl asked. I could see her brow perked over her signature shades.

The answer took a couple moments to come to me. “Living life at my own pace, I guess.”

“You guess, huh?” Vinyl said flatly.

“If I may be frank,” Octavia added, “you don't sound like you're talking with much conviction.”

So it was obvious I wasn’t doing anything of note. Even my best efforts to try and step up my game had been temporary at best. If I stopped now, I ran the risk of slipping back to my old ways. “Okay, so I'm not doing anything of worth right now.”

Octavia took a sip of her drink before speaking, “Well, I shall tell you this much: this should be something you want to do, Lyra. We can't force you to take this step.”

I chewed my lip, mulling over the future possibilities. So many variables, so many chances for failure. “I won't lie, it would be nice to make it big like you two, but the last time I tried? Didn't work out so well.”

“Why not?” Vinyl asked.

I snorted. There was a great story in my musical downfall. “I was sabotaged and humiliated.”

Concern flashed over Octavia’s face. “Oh dear. Would you like to tell us what happened?”

I shook my head. They didn’t need to know.

“Sabotage? Ugh.” Vinyl rolled her eyes, disgust tainting her words. “Sounds like…” she waved her hoof absently, “what's-her-face.”

“To make a long story short, I tried to make it on my own, and then some other mare ruined my first big performance. I'm willing to bet you two have never faced a completely unhappy crowd. It's terrifying.” Terrifying doesn’t even describe it, honestly. Ponies had paid money to see you play and when you can’t deliver, you don’t get disappointment; you get anger. Even laughter from a few. The glares and the laughs tear down your shell, until you have no choice but to flee off stage.

Octavia shook her head distastefully. “I've seen it happen, it's not pleasant.”

“Yeah, I know what you mean,” Vinyl agreed.

I doubted Vinyl knew exactly what it was like but nevertheless...  “I never want to experience that again.”

“That’s understandable. But you're letting one bad experience control your entire life,” Octavia stressed. “That isn't healthy.”

“Get knocked down? Gotta get back up again,” Vinyl, flicking her hoof towards the ceiling.

I could only grumble and drink my juice, avoiding their looks.

“Lyra, do you want that incident to be the defining moment of your life?” Octavia asked, in a somewhat authoritative tone.

Try as I might, I really couldn’t ignore one of the stars of the music industry. “Of course not.”

“Then go back on that stage!” Vinyl exclaimed, getting off her seat. “You can't let one jerk stop you! We never have!”

“Well even if I did try again, there's no way I could replicate the near success I had last time,” I told them. Because it was definitely true. After I dropped out, I played in bars, clubs, anywhere I could get a decent gig. Eventually I worked hard enough to be noticed and… yeah.

“Why do you think that?” Octavia questioned.

“You did fine last time,” Vinyl added—again, like they just flowed off one another.

“Which clearly implies you can do so again.” Octavia took a quick sip of her drink, signalling the end of that little conversation duet.

“It wasn't easy on my own, trust me.” I shrugged to myself. “In fact, I think I just got lucky.”

“So? Point is, you got the skills. So use 'em, girl!” Vinyl came over and gave me a friendly nudge. And, yeah, I managed to smile at that. It’s Vinyl Scratch giving me a nudge!

Octavia nodded. “I bet you would play just as well if you played your lyre right now.”

“It isn't a matter of playing well,” I said. “It's a matter of actually getting noticed by the big wigs in high society.” Money may make the world go round, but it’s connections that make your world go round.

Vinyl ‘tsked’. “Oh, is that all you're worried about?”

Octavia let out a sensible chuckle. “Dear, that is what networking is for.”

“You make it sound easy…” I grumbled.

“Only 'cause it is,” Vinyl replied.

“Easy?” Octavia turned to look at Vinyl. “Not particularly. But perfectly doable nevertheless.”

“Care to explain how, exactly?” While I may be of lesser nobility, my family was no free ride to getting in the music business. My parents didn’t become successful themselves by riding on their own coattails. Well, they may have done partially thanks to my family’s legacy but … , I wouldn’t get noticed by just saying that because I was a Heartstrings, I was good. I needed approval of others first. That’s how most things worked in high society.

“Well for starters, you're doing it right now,” Vinyl said. 

“Right, we can help you meet with all the right ponies,” Octavia finished.

I quirked a minty brow. “The 'right' ponies?” 

Vinyl was the first to answer. “The ponies who can help your career.”

Octavia was right there to speak after her. “I'm sure they would love to hear you play.”

As amazing as their sentence finishing was… “That doesn't exactly answer my question,” I stated. “Who are the right ponies, exactly?”

“Ones that will help your musical career—patrons, for example,” Octavia clarified.

Patrons. Essentially ponies with a lot of influence in high society. They’d fund you, protect you, get you gigs, the works. In return, you made them look even better. “Such as? Who’s your patron?”

“Well, I'm in pretty good with the Sparkles,” Vinyl said. My ears perked up immediately.

Octavia nodded at her. “Indeed. House Sparkle has always been good to us.”

The cogs in my head started to whir. “The Sparkles, huh…”

“Indeed. They really helped me get started,” Octavia said. “Introduced me to the Royal Canterlot Symphony for one.”

“And they helped line up my first couple gigs, so I made a name for myself as more than just a cool club DJ,” Vinyl chipped in.

“Oooo…” Yes, I was definitely getting a game plan here. The path ahead was slowly getting paved.

Octavia gave me a friendly grin. “That idea appeals to you?”

I rubbed my hooves together. “I am friends with Twilight Sparkle.”

Octavia shared a glance with Vinyl. “Really now? That is interesting.”

“Gives you a nice in, at least,” Vinyl said.

Twilight was one of my best friends in Canterlot, along with Colgate, Twinkleshine, Lemon Hearts and who was the other one… eugh, I feel bad for not remembering her. Except that she smelled weird and never liked my mints.

Anyway, I still met up with the latter three often and occasionally I’d talk to Twilight, even if she was still busy as ever with her duties with the Elements of Harmony. There was no way she’d completely forgotten about my existence. We’d just drifted a little, that’s all. It happens. I confidently ran a hoof through my mane, relaxing on the couch. “I'm sure I can charm her into helping out an old friend.”

“See?” Octavia gave me an encouraging smile. “You're already getting some momentum going.”

“No kidding. Now you just gotta show your chops!” Vinyl cheered.

And thus I raised my glass and downed the rest of its contents in one, a sign of a new leaf, a fresh start! “Yeah!” 

“If you play as good as you did before…” Vinyl said.

“... I'm sure they will give you a shot once they hear you play,” Octavia finished.

“I'd hope so, yeah. Thanks for the advice, you two.” I smirked at the dynamic duo. “Anypony tell ever tell you that you make a great team?”

Octavia grinned, flicking her mane back casually. “I've heard that once or twice.”

Vinyl snorted, walking over and nudging her. “Just from every fan of Classical Harmony.”

I couldn’t help but smile at the both of them. “Well, I'll get started as soon as I get back to Ponyville.”

Vinyl lowered her glasses, winking at me. “That's the spirit!”

Octavia nodded with her. “And if you need anything at all…”

I blinked. “I can just come on over?”

“Well, try to let us know first,” Vinyl cautioned.

“Right, I'm sure we can make time for you with proper notification,” Octavia advised, daintily finishing off her beverage afterward. 

Butterflies started to hover around in my tummy again. Access to Octavia and Vinyl Scratch! I’m not even sure what I did to deserve that but … heck, I was gonna take it. “How do I go about doing that?”

“I dunno,” Vinyl shrugged lamely. “Send a letter or something.”

“Letters work just fine if we're not home,” Octavia clarified, elegantly as always.

“Alright, I'll do that.” I giggled behind my hoof, like some little schoolfilly. Yeah, this could work. Especially with these two at my back. “This is really cool.”

Octavia gave me a knowing smile. “See? This wasn't that bad.”

“Told ya,” Vinyl quipped, taking my empty glass with her magic. She tipped it towards me. “Another round?”

I winked back at her. “How could I decline?” 





I stepped out of the building, red faced and grinning like an idiot. 

“I’m totally friends with Vinyl Scratch and Octavia—wheeeeeeeeeeeeee!!” I squealed, hip-hopping on my hooves.

Don’t judge me. This lucky break was exactly what I needed to bring me out of my lazy stupor. Good times were ahead, which I contributed to the fact that the sky was much brighter when I left Vinyl’s pad than when I came.

With all my business sorted, the rest of the day was mine to enjoy how I wished. Bon Bon deserved to know what had happened, obviously, but there wasn’t anything wrong with enjoying the city either. 

To the shops I went! There was something for everypony in Canterlot, depending on where you looked. It’s easy to assume it’s only for the elite but the reality is that in cozy little streets, you’d find smaller shops, run by hardworking mares and stallions. Canterlot students would always learn about these places, since they were often cheaper than the more well-known businesses.

My head held high, I strolled down the paved streets of Canterlot. I peeked into various storefronts until I came up to a jewelry store. In the front window sat a golden necklace with a beautifully carved sapphire gem in the center. I put my face and forehooves up against the glass, staring at the jewel. “Aw, that looks pretty.”

“Maybe you should buy it then,” a voice came from behind me.

I grinned. “Maybe I will. I should treat myself now and then, after all.” I let out an excited little giggle. It really was nice and I’d taken a first big step today, so maybe I did deserve it.

“Or you could buy it for your cousin,” the voice said.

I rolled my eyes, turning while saying, “She's barely around, I wouldn't see her enough to—” I froze, jumping at the sight of my newcomer. “ACK! Strumming?!”

Before me stood a mare way older than me, yet still in her prime. That wasn’t exactly her best asset though—no, the prize to that would go to her coat. Effectively, I was looking at a pegasus version of myself. The only differences were blue in her mane and her eyes. I took points off for that. My cousin grinned, spreading her wings and posing. “The one and only.”

“Stop doing that. It's creepy,” I smirked at her as I spoke her amazing nickname I’d made for her, “Skyra.”

“Doing what, exactly?” she asked, feigning innocence.

“Being sneaky on me! I can't remember the last time we met up normally.” Even as a filly, she’d scare me by jumping out of closets, behind doors and the like.

“If you don't want me sneaking up on you, be harder to sneak up on.” Now it was her turn to smirk at me, saying her simply awful nickname she had made for me. “Strumhorn.”

Seriously, Strumhorn? Say it out loud. Sounds like some weird unicorn disease.

“That doesn't even make sense... how do I know to be harder to sneak up on when I don't know I'm being snuck up on!” I paused to think about it afterward. Yeah, that made sense.

“Constant vigilance, as my old instructors used to say.” Strumming’s eyes drifted upwards. “Well, one of them. The old crazy guy. I think he got in trouble for chasing kids off his lawn with a crossbow.”

I shot her a flat look. “I'm not going on constant vigilance just for my spooky cousin.”

“I'm not spooky, I'm a spook. Important difference.” If you couldn’t tell, she and my Dad got along really well.

“Whatever,” I grunted.

Strumming was a Heartstrings who still dwelled in the former family business of spywork, working in the Equestrian Intelligence Services (EIS). She’d been doing it for as long as I could remember, even if she was still training when I was small. From what I could gather out of her, she was pretty high up and she was constantly busy. Throughout my life, seeing her had gradually become a rare occurrence. So, even if she could be annoying sometimes, it never stuck with me. “It's great to see you though, Skyra.” I smiled and hugged her tightly.

“Good to see you too,” she returned the embrace, speaking into my ear, “Strumhorn.”

Eugh. Something about that word… “Still not a good nickname.”

We separated, Strumming saying, “I'll admit yours flows a bit better. How you been?”

“I'm great! Perky, even.” I pouted my lips, just to look all fancy and important, y’know, the works. “I just got back from talking with some big ponies, you know.”

“Oh yeah?” Strumming perked her brow. “Big as in important, or big as in massively overweight?”

I snickered. The image of a fat Vinyl at her turntables… hee. “They're far from overweight.”

“Well go on then…”

“Oh, nothing special, nothing special” I looked at my hoof absently. Hm, could use some refining when I got back home. “Just Vinyl Scratch and Octavia.”

Strumming tapped her chin. “I think I've heard of them…”

I stopped, blinking at her. “You think?”

Strumming merely shrugged. “I barely get any time in Equestria. Comes from being stationed in the embassy in Freeport.”

Ah, yeah: Strumming’s job often took her away from Equestria proper. Right now, she was stationed in the small island nation of Freeport, not too far away from Equestria really. It was renowned as a haven for thieves, pirates and anybody looking to try and make it on their own—legal or otherwise. 

But really, I’ve said too much at this point.

“Eugh, fine. They're only the biggest ponies in the music business!” I exclaimed.

“Oh. Cool. How’d you meet up with them?” she asked.

I answered her, my cheeks flushing. “Kind of an impromptu performance on my part in Ponyville… alongside them! Somehow I kept up and they thought I had a good amount of talent. So…” I spun around to give my announcement some flair. “I'm giving it another shot. The whole music business shebang!”

Strumming beamed, ruffling my mane about. “That’s great news! I always thought you should share your gift with as many ponies as you can. Yes, I can see it now…” She waved to an invisible object before us. “Witness the incredible lyrist Strumhorn, performing tonight at the Canterlot Opera Hall!”

I snorted and pushed her back. “No, I won’t go by as Strumhorn. But I think I got a real chance this time.” A confident grin spotted itself across my lips. “There’s no way I can fail this time with those two supporting me!”

“Sure hope not. And hey, I've got a couple weeks before I'm headed back to the islands,” Strumming put a reaffirming hoof on my shoulder. “I can stick around and keep an eye on things for you.”

“Awesome!” I beamed up at my cousin, then paused as the logical side of my brain got up to speed. “Wait ... why are you on break, anyway? You never get big holidays…”

“Things're quiet right now,” Strumming smoothly explained. My main target's gonna be cooped up in her tower for months working on some big crafting project, and I've got a ton of saved up vacation time.”Really, there was no way to truly tell if she was hiding something. She was trained in the art of subtlety, after all. A small part of my stomach still felt knotted, though.

“Huh. I hope you've got things to do here; otherwise I think you'll just go mad.” Really, I just had to wonder what exactly would she do in her free time. 

Hm… maybe she could find a date. It’s way past time she tried hunting for one.

“Well, I figured I could catch up with my favorite cousin,” Strumming said, squeezing my shoulder.

“I'm your only cousin,” I pointed out.

She answered by pinching my face. “Which is why you're my favorite in spite of being so cheeky.”

“I'm not that cheeky…”

Strumming just grinned at me. “Cheeky enough.” Tossing a wing over my back, we started to walk down the streets together. “Now c'mon. I haven't been back in Canterlot for way too long. Show me what's new.”

I held up a hoof. “On one condition.”

“What's that?”

“Afterwards, you come to Ponyville with me and meet Bon Bon!” The downside of Strumming being so darn busy. I’ve told her many times about Bon Bon, probably enough to make her bored, but she’d never actually met her. I was excited, really, for my coolest cousin to meet my most beloved mare in the whole wide world. 

“Oh yeah, your marefriend. Sure.” Going by her chilled reaction, Strumming shared about the same amount of doubts as I did. No surprise really. Being a spy must come with picking up some great social skills.

“Good! Now, come on, there's this great doughnut place that opened up a couple of years ago…” 

Strumming licked her lips in anticipation. “Oooh! I've been missing doughnuts.”

Yeah. The Heartstrings duo was going to have a great time, of that I was certain.





After a great deal of snacking in Canterlot and seeing some of the sights, Strumming and I headed to Ponyville. “Here we are!” I cheerfully announced as we left the station proper.

Strumming took a moment to take everything in. Although, given this was Ponyville, that didn’t mean much. “Huh. Quaint little place.”

“Sure is home alright,” I said, setting the pace for us. “Way different from Freeport, I'm guessing?”

“Well, it's not a massive island city, for one.”

“True.” I’ve never been to Freeport but from what I’ve heard, I wouldn’t last five minutes there on my own. I’ve already gotten myself into enough trouble for one lifetime, anyway.

“Gonna guess the population's one hundred percent pony too?” she asked. Another factor of the port city was its multicultural population. Ponies, griffons, zebras… you could find all kinds there. But most shared a love of money and trade.

“There's a zebra that lives in the Everfree, and we have a pair of donkeys.” Not that I talked to any of them. “So pretty much, yeah.”

“Yeah, pretty different from Freeport's crazy melting pot. So, show me the sights.” Strumming paused. “And once we're done with that five minutes, introduce me to your friends.”

I grinned, scooting Strumming around a bit. “No, you have to meet Bon Bon first!”

She casually shrugged and walked with me. “Sure thing.”

“Great!” I led the way, which for my cousin, probably wasn’t very long at all. We approached her door, looking as welcoming as ever. “You're going to love her, I'm sure.”

“Yeah?”

Such was the power of my smile, my cheeks felt like they’d tear apart. “Yep!”

“Cool. So tell me about her,” Strumming said.

“Weeeell, she's strong, loving and makes great candies, plus—” 

Before I could finish, the door swung open, revealing my beautiful Bonnie. She spotted me first, stepping forward and giving me a sweet kiss and a hug. “Hey, hun.”

“Hiya, darling,” I replied, pecking her in return.

There was an odd little bit of silence from Strumming, before I heard her say, “No way. Sweetie?”

Bon Bon blinked at her, gently moving me away. “Who's your friend, Lyra?” She politely gave my cousin a smile, even if it felt a little forced. Hm, maybe she didn’t expect a visitor.

“My friend? Pfft, she's much more than that. She's my cousin, Strumming!” I prodded my cousin in the side. “Or Skyra, if you prefer.”

“Didn't notice the family resemblance?” Strumming grinned, ruffling my mane. I didn’t care enough to stop her.

“Apparently not, haha!” Bon Bon laughed, standing in the doorway. “Silly me.”

More weird silence.

“You gonna let us in, love?” I finally asked.

She blinked again, her cheeks flushing pink. “Oh, yes! Come in, come in.”

“Thanks, love,” I stepped in, giving my love a peck on the cheek as I passed.

Strumming moved in more slowly, almost calculating. “Think we got a few things to talk about… Bon-Bon.”

Bon Bon perked an eyebrow. “Do we?”

“You bet we do!” I exclaimed, pulling her inside with me. “I've got a big announcement for you, dear.”

“Oh really? Then we better give you our ears! To the kitchen!” Bonnie led the way, sitting at the head of the table. The Heartstrings duo were close behind and took their seats.

“Noticed you got a nice weapon collection,” Strumming said as she took a chair. Trust her to notice the little details. Although I don’t think mounted axes and warhammers count as ‘little details’.

“Yeah, Bon Bon's family are blacksmiths. Isn't that neat?” I explained. More so neat for me than her, since I got to experience that raw blacksmith muscle more than once.

“Yeah,” Strumming replied, not really looking at me. “Sure.”

“Aaaaanyway, Bonnie, as you know I went to Canterlot today. Obviously I saw my cousin buuuuut…” The trailing of words was important for drama, of course.

Bon Bon just smirked at me. “It's not like we have an audience. Go on.”

Strumming waved a hoof. “Let her enjoy her dramatics.”

“Pfft, really Bons, no appreciation for dramatic effect!” I shook my head. “Fine, fine. I spoke to Octavia and Vinyl and we all agreed I'd enter the music business again!”

That made Bon Bon’s eyes fly wide open. “Oh wow! That's fantastic, Lyra!”

Brushing my chest, I shot a triumphant grin at her. “Yeah, I hoped you'd think that.”

Bonnie slipped off her chair, stalking towards me. “I think it's amazing you've decided to share your gift to the world again. So amazing, in fact, I think you deserve a little something…” With hungry intent, she drew in closer, moving her lips closer to mine…

“Yeah, it will be pretty neat,” Strumming said, coughing. “And of course, you can be the marefriend of a big famous musician.”

I gave my cousin a quick awkward glance. As much as kissing Bon Bon was like tasting the sweetest candy, I didn’t really want to make my cousin feel like the third wheel. Especially when she’s never been in the dating game, as far as I knew.

For a mare that’s part of the Heartstrings, that can’t be easy. 

“Um, Bons? I don't think we should with Strumming here—”

“I'm sure she'll be fine with us expressing a little affection,” Bon Bon said, not giving an inch backward.

“Hey, go for it,” Strumming said, giving us her blessing, I suppose.

Bonnie was the first to make contact, locking her lips with me. Like usual, it wouldn’t do it justice to put the feeling down into words. I did get momentarily distracted though, sneakily peeking at Strumming, to make sure she was okay. Given she was intentionally ignoring us, I assumed she was.

Eventually, Bon Bon finished. “Well done, hun.” A nice warm nuzzle for me and she went back to my chair, looking at Strumming. “So, what brings your cousin to Ponyville? I imagine she's quite busy.”

“I got some vacation time, figured I'd check on the family. I haven't been back home since that thing in Zebrica,” Strumming explained. 

“Which thing was that?” It’s telling how much my cousin works when I had to ask her that. How many international incidents had been prevented because of her efforts?

Proooobably none that big but it’s nice to imagine.

“I could tell you,” Strumming begun, seeming to take a moment to consider me. Then her eyes narrowed, her voice as sharp as a knife’s edge. “But then I'd have to kill you.” Then her expression relaxed in a mere instant. “And that would suck, 'cause you're my favorite cousin.”

I gulped. “Oh. Okay then.” Now, it wasn’t because Strumming’s sudden shift in emotion freaked me out or anything but I hadn’t gone to relieve myself since this morning, so, you know…

“I'll be back.” Duty calls. “You two will be fine together, right?”

“Can’t see why not,” Strumming replied.

“Great!” I hopped off my chair and bounded up the stairs to do my business.

I hoped they’d get along in my absence and from the sounds of it, they did. Really, the only reason I’m even mentioning this is because I overheard some pretty strange stuff from the pair as I made my way back to them.

“Yeah, quiet candymaking life doesn't compare, does it?” That was Strumming.

“Not really, no,” Bon Bon replied.

“Shame there's no way to get you back in the game…” Strumming mused. I heard some absent taps on the table.

It was at this point I entered fully. “What game?”

Bon Bon sat up straight, staring right at me. “Oh, Lyra!”

Like I said, strange. “Yeah?”

Strumming was a lot more casual about it. “Hey cousin. What's up?”

“Wondering what you were chatting about,” I said, as I sat back down in my chair.

“We were talking about my blacksmithing and how it's a shame I can't really get back to that,” Bon Bon was quick to respond. “I can't afford a proper furnace and all the tools here.”

Bon Bon was a mare from Dodge Junction, way out in the desert parts of Equestria. Given that and the fact her family were blacksmiths, it’s unsurprising that she was remarkably strong even by earth pony standards. It also figured she’d take some of her family’s legacy and her own weapons with her to Ponyville.

“Yeah. 'Cause this is some real good work.” Strumming flew up, taking one of Bon Bon’s axes off the wall. The way she held it, the weapon looked weighty but Strumming must have had some experience to it.

“Thanks. I do cherish them,” Bon Bon replied.

“Glad to hear it.” After giving the axe a spin in her hooves, Strumming put it back and sat down.

“So, Lyra,” Bon Bon leaned across the table, closer to me. “What's the first step in your music business plan?”

“Well, I need a patron, so, I'm going to hit up an old friend,” I said, relaxing on my chair and propping my hind hooves on the table. Bon Bon shoved them off immediately, like she always did. It was just so comfortable to sit like that, I never stopped trying.

“Always a classic move. Networking, right?” Strumming said.

“Yep. Always gotta hit up those connections,” I said, like I totally knew what I was talking about. Vinyl and Octavia had given me some great advice but honestly, there was still so much to learn. But every journey starts with one big step. “So I'll pay Twilight a visit.”

“Wait, Twilight Sparkle?” my cousin asked.

“Yeah. We were best friends back in the day.” Strumming was around in my childhood but as far as I recall, she was busy with training. Whenever I saw her, I was way too excited to go and play with my awesome cousin, which didn’t leave much time for talking about my personal life.

In fact, even when I got older, I didn’t tell Strumming much about myself. I always asked about her life because it was just so much more exciting. Thinking about that, was she flattered by that or troubled that she could never pick my brain enough? I suppose that’s why she was here now.

Strumming developed a thoughtful look on her features. “Huh. Kinda curious to meet her. Since my target's kinda got … issues with her.”

Well, I couldn’t leave that hanging without at least some attempt to dig for info. “What?”

“Spy stuff.” She waved a hoof in the air. “Just a little curious to meet the mare.”

“Well hopefully you'll get the time. But I should meet up with her first by myself.” Honestly, I was beginning to get a little anxious to do the deed. Just so it was out of the way.

“Did you want anything, Strumming? Tea? Candy?” Bon Bon asked, being the perfect host she is.

“I'll try your candy.” Other than a similarity in appearance, Strumming also seemed to share my love for snacks. Unlike me, however, she’d always managed to keep in ship shape…

“Sure. I'll go grab some.” Off she trotted, to collect her goods. I couldn’t help but stare at her other goods, if you know what I mean.

That only took a few seconds though, so I turned back to Strumming. “Seems like you're getting along.”

“Like a pair of old friends who haven't seen each other in years,” she replied cooly.

“Kinda, yeah.” Was it weird that Strumming said that? Maybe she was hiding something from me. There was no way of telling with her, sometimes. And then there was the possibility I was overthinking things. 

Yeah, it was definitely the latter. I was being a silly Lyra.

Bon Bon come back with one of her bags of candy, tossing it over to Strumming. “Here you go.”

Strumming deftly caught it with one hoof, not even moving from her chair. “Thanks.”

“Enjoy it,” my sweet said, sitting back down. “So when are you going to see Twilight, love?”

I fidgeted a little in my seat. “Well, maybe once Strumming's gone back to Canterlot…”

Bon Bon glanced from my cousin to me. “If she wants you to go see her earlier, maybe you should.”

“Lyra's call,” Strumming said.

If they were going to let me go of my own accord… “Well, I'm on a good roll today. May as well make the most of it, right?”

Strumming gave me a single nod. “Good attitude”

“I'll do that then.” I got out of my chair, then stopped to look at the pair of them. “You two okay together?”

“Yeah, we'll be great,” Strumming assured me. Hm, I was sure that they would be, that seemed to be for certain.

“Good.” Of course, I gave both of them a hug but only Bon Bon got my kiss. “I won't be long!”

Bon Bon smiled, waving me off as I trotted out the door. “Have fun, love.”

Somehow, I figured it’d be something like that.





When you think about it, Twilight’s home really is quite novel. It’s not just a library; it’s a library treehouse. Somehow I get the impression that this sort of deal was very much in Twilight’s dreams when she was a filly. (At least, when she wasn’t dreaming up solutions to her homework. Seriously, she did it. I remember setting up a sleepover just so I could see if she’d sleep talk the answers to my homework.)

Walking up to the door, I had to say, I was a little nervous. Even though I shouldn’t have been, really. We’d spoken around Ponyville a couple of times, so I strongly doubted there would be anything wrong with this. In fact, Twilight had probably been waiting to talk to me one on one ever since she came to Ponyville!

With that in mind, I opened up the door and strolled right on in. Twilight was at her little table, reading books, surprise surprise. 

Being the best friend I am to her, I let her be in her comfort zone, casually walking up to her. “Hey, Twilight.”

“Oh, hey,” Twilight said. She looked up at me, the perfect depiction of relaxed. She smiled at me. For a bit too long, really. “Lyra. Good to see you again.”

“You too.” I reflected that smile right back at her. “How are you?”

“I'm doing good. Just doing a bit of studying.” She pointed down to her book. Obviously I couldn’t see the cover but it was a thick thing, all the words tiny and elegantly written.

“Gee, you'd think you'd have studied everything by now, huh?” Most of the time if Twilight had nothing to do, she’d read. Read, read, read. It took a lot of encouragement for me and the girls to get her out with us at times.

“Trust me, there is always more to study,” she said, flipping a page.

True as that statement was, there’s much more to life than study. I kept that reservation to myself, though. “If you say so.”

Twilight looked up at me, then glanced around at her many books. “So, were you looking for a book? Or just looking around.”

I sat opposite her, making myself comfortable. “Oh, I just wanted to chat, really.”

“Huh, what about?” Twilight asked. 

“Whatever we want!” I urged, keeping up my smile. “Like good friends do.”

Twilight placed her open book to one side. “Well, I don't want to quibble, but we haven't known each other that long. I mean I want to get to know you better, but from what I've read, you need to interact for a bit before you can really consider one another friend. Though—”

What the hay was she talking about?! She was just dissolving into mindful rambling at this point. Something about friendship formulas? That didn’t matter really but why was she talking like this?!

Unless… I am quite the notorious prankster at times. Maybe... 

I blinked, forcing a little laugh out. “Oh Twilight, you're so silly, you old so-and-so!” I trotted around the table so I could give her a playful nudge. “Of course we've talked before!”

Twilight brushed the spot where I’d touched her. “Er, when exactly?”

I couldn’t believe my ears. Twilight would probably describe me as flabbergasted right now. How can she have forgotten everything we’ve done?! Did all those equations she’s learned just shove the good memories out of her brain!

Surely not. That’s silly. Maybe she just needed prompting?

“Around Ponyville! In Canterlot! School?!”

Twilight narrowed her eyes at me, rubbing her head. “We went to school together?”

More forced laughter from me, but I assure you this was no laughing matter. “I'm sure we did. Remember when Lemon Hearts got her head stuck in a test tube?”

Twilight glanced to the side. “Er... Kinda?”

I followed her gaze. Of course, she was looking at that blasted book. “Maaaaybe you should take a break from all that studying, y'know?” I suggested, in a polite manner, of course.

“Why?”

“Because…” I froze, my mind all frazzled from these shocking events unfolding before me. “All work and no play makes for a dull Twilight?”

I knew I’d messed up when she sent a frown my way. “I'm not dull.”

“No no, I'm not saying you are!” I stressed, waving my forehooves in front of me. Memories, memories. I needed more to remind her! “Well, um, how about when you got accepted in Celestia's School for Unicorns and we all had a big party for you?”

Her mouth hung open, as I could see her struggling to come up with the memory. She just shook her head. “I can't say I do, no.”

“B-But... you really can't remember?!”

After a short pause, Twilight just outright said it. “I don't ever remember really talking to you before.”

“But it's me! Lyra! The Minty Mare!” I cried, desperately. “Everypony would always press my muzzle and laugh at me when it scrunched!” 

“If you say so…” Twilight said, shuffling away from me. “Was there something I could help you with?”

“I-I-I…” I hung my head, absolutely floored by this mess. How can one of your best friends just forget about you?! It didn’t make sense, it went against everything I’d known about her. Did she really think that little of me?

No, surely not. Twilight was better than that. One more try to jog her memory.

I stepped forward, leaning towards her. “Just boop me. You'll remember!”

Twilight moved back a tiny bit.“What?”

“Boop my muzzle,” I told her, pointing at my nose. “Do it, filly!”

“N-no!”

Crud, this wasn’t working. If she wasn’t going to boop me to jog my memory, then perhaps… Then I came up with it. A scientific method, in fact. Something Twilight probably knew already.

“I know! They say scents can jog your memory, right?” I suggested.

“Err, yes. So I've read,” Twilight said, turning towards her book.

“So sniff me! My minty aroma is so unique, there's no way you could ever forget it!” Desperate? Yes. But it wasn’t like I had any options left.

Not only was my budding career on the line, my old friendship was as well. I just couldn’t believe what was going on here. Can ponies really phase out of someone’s memory this much? Was I just that forgettable? 

If I was then, I sure wasn’t now. Twilight stood, actively backing off from me. “Um, no, that's just weird.”

“You don't know until you try!” 

“Look, maybe you're mistaking me for somepony else? I can help you find them, if you want,” Twilight suggested, polite as ever. But I didn’t come here for the politeness of strangers, I came here for my friend!

“I'm not, honest!” I pleaded.

“No offense, but you're kinda acting creepy,” Twilight stated. It was still unquestionably polite but nevertheless, she had called me out on my behaviour.

“But I—” I sighed. This wasn’t going anywhere. “Never mind. Sorry.”

“Sorry, but I don't remember meeting you before. It’s really not impossible that there’s a pony out there that looks almost like me.”

My ears flattened against the sides of my head, my tail dragging across the floor as I slowly made my way to leave. “I must have made a mistake then.” 

“If you want a book, I can help you with that.” Twilight suggested. She was smiling but it was definitely forced. I could tell by her eyes.

“No no, it's fine. I'll go,” I said, coming up to the door.

“If you're sure…”

“I'm pretty sure.” I opened the door, giving her one more look before I left. My friend was staring at me like I was some weirdo, like all that happened between us never was. “Sorry.” I stepped outside and didn’t look back.
> The Pony Who Acts First, Thinks Later
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Never in the history of ponykind had a mare stepped out of a library feeling so despondent. 

That it was then. A chord of finality pierced through my own heart. Twilight had clearly forgotten about my entire existence—I simply wasn’t a good enough friend to be considered worth remembering. Not only did I have to deal with my dreams of musical stardom being in jeopardy, I also had the crushing weight of the loss of a friend on my shoulders. I didn’t look back as I walked away from the library. How could I? It would’ve just hurt more, brought more sad memories and feelings to my mind. 

Were it not for one voice, I would’ve started galloping away.

“Lyra!”

I blinked and turned to see not a pony running towards me, but a dragon. “Spike!” I cried, beaming.

“That’s the name,” he said, sticking a claw to his chest. 

My smile quickly faltered when I realized the reason why he had run after me. “You probably overheard everything in there, right?”

“Er, yeah…” He shuffled in place, rubbing the back of his head. “Sorry.”

I sighed but put on a brave face for him. Even if it’d been awhile since we last saw each other, Spike was still a baby dragon. There wasn’t any reason for him to get caught up in the sadness crossfire. “It’s not your fault. Twilight’s just—”

“A total bookworm?” he finished for me.

I smirked a little. For a young dragon, he packed a lot of snark. Something he probably picked up off Twilight. “That works.”

“So what brings you around here? I’ve seen you all the time in Ponyville but you haven’t stopped by to say hi.” He frowned a little, folding his arms. “Not even once.”

Oof, that was a little pinprick to the gut. I’d been so wrapped up in getting Twilight to help me out I’d completely forgotten about the little guy. He deserved better than that. If Twilight had forgotten to build a bridge with me, at least Spike was extending his out to my side. The least I could do was the same to him. 

Thinking along those lines hardened my resolve. Twilight could wait. With my tail, I gestured to my back. He may have been mad but he didn’t decline my invitation, hopping onto me. 

“I’m sorry, Spike. My life’s just been…” A mess? Total chaos? A waste of a few years? “Complicated. Been like that for a long time now. I’ve only recently woken up to it.”

“That sucks.” Bit of an understatement, although I’d let it slide since he was a kid. “Are things getting any better?” 

“Slowly. I’m definitely trying.” I trudged along, heading for nowhere in particular. “This is just a bit of a blow.”

“Well you still got good ol’ Spike with you,” he said. 

“I appreciate it. With the coolest dragon around at my side, there’s no way things can get any worse!” Hopefully I hadn’t jinxed myself there.

Whatever the case, it seemed to raise Spike’s spirits. “Exactly!”

I looked back at the whelp on my back. “Wanna get some ice cream?” A satisfied lick on the lips was the only answer I got. “Alright, alright,” I giggled, “ice cream it is.”

“So how’s the music going?” Spike asked, as we went on our way.

My cheeks suddenly flushed. “It… goes. Just suffered a setback, actually.”

“Pfft, don’t see how that’s possible,” he said. “You were always the best lyrist I’ve ever heard!” 

“Oh, you’re just saying that,” I replied, waving a hoof.

“I mean it!” He adjusted himself, standing on his two legs. “I’ve been dragged to a lot of concerts and orchestras and the lyrists there were never as good as you.”

I smirked. “How could you pick apart a lyrist in a whole orchestra?” 

Ah, the intricacies of music and performance. Solo musicians often shone because they poured their heart into their work and their instrument. Since they’re the only pony on stage an audience can see, the audience can more easily connect with the musician’s feelings through their music.

With an orchestra, that personal touch is lost, in exchange for a bigger ‘oomph’ in the music, as well as complexity. It’s why stage shows typically use orchestras. The audience doesn’t need to connect with an orchestra but they will do with the characters and every musician does their part to make that emotion much more vivid. 

“Let’s just call it dragon’s intuition,” he said, tapping my head.

I’d forgotten how much the little guy could make me laugh. “If you say so.” With the topic of my musical career floating about, my mind floated back to Twilight. Thanks to Spike though, I wasn’t nearly as glum. “I needed Twilight’s help.”

“With what? Your music?”

I nodded. “Yeah. I was hoping she’d be my patron so I could get recognised and taken seriously in the musical world.”

There was a short pause from Spike. “So … you only visited so you could get Twilight to help you with your career?”

I stopped. The realization clung to me like a bad odor—that was exactly what I had done, merely using my friendship to Twilight as an excuse to get fame.

I sat down, Spike jumping off my back. He was frowning at me now, those reptilian eyes of his making the glare even more uncomfortable to look at. 

“Yeah. That’s pretty much it,” I admitted. Spike deserved that much.

“Lyra, that’s a really jerkish thing to do,” he said, looking at me with something akin to parental disappointment. I wondered if Twilight got this treatment on a regular basis.

“I know that now!” I cried, rubbing my mane. “I’ve just been so caught up in improving my life lately that I didn’t think. That’s me.” I wrapped my tail around myself. “Silly Lyra, never stopping to actually think for once.”

“I always thought you were silly,” Spike stated, which grabbed my attention immediately. Thankfully, he continued, “In a goofy way, not a dumb way. Look, you actually want to be friends with us, right?”

“Yes!” I blurted out, nodding so fast my neck hurt. “That fiasco in the library was like a shock to the sense. It reminded me of how much I’ve missed you two! It’s been way too long!”

Years, in fact. I hadn’t seen Twilight since I dropped out of my studies and moved to Ponyville. Minuette and the others visited—often too—but Twilight remained locked in her studies. Not that I can blame her; she was doing something with her life, after all. 

“Then we’ll start catching up with that ice cream you promised me,” Spike said, sticking a thumbs up at me. 

I nodded, standing up. “Right! I’d still like to progress my musical career though—let me finish!” I cried, in response to a suspicious eyebrow from Spike. “The Octavia and Vinyl Scratch want me to get into the music business with them, so they’re kinda expecting results.”

“Oh yeah, I saw you perform with them onstage here in Ponyville!” Spike said, grinning. “Dug the swell solo you pulled off at the end.”

I let out a stifled laugh. “Yep, that was a thing.” Note to self: do not get that invested in a performance next time. “So now I’m involved with two of the most famous musicians in Canterlot. No pressure there!”

“Hm, alright. I’ll help you out. I can’t let such good talent go to waste, after all.” He pointed a claw at me. “But you’re getting me a triple scoop!”

“Thanks, Spike.” I smiled at him, then made for Sugarcube Corner. I felt him jump onto my back again, but I didn’t mind. “Any ideas to refresh Twilight’s memories of me?”

“Eh, I’ll think of something. If she’s not out and about being busy, she’s always studying.” Well, that wasn’t encouraging. “In the meantime, you can always ask her parents about that patron thing.”

“That might work.” Thankfully Spike couldn’t see my delightfully awkward grin. Playing catch-up with a friend is one thing; doing it with their parents is a whole different matter. What if they didn’t approve of me anymore? Would they judge me for being a dropout? Too many difficult questions that I did not want to answer right then.

Ice cream was always the better option. “What flavor ice cream did you want, Spike?”

“Gee, that’s a toughie. Let’s see…” Spike relaxed against my back, going through all the many flavors of ice cream he liked. For the time being, it served as a sufficient distraction.





“We’re not telling Twilight about this,” I told Spike from across the table. 

“About what?”

“The ice cream. It’s almost bigger than your head!”

Spike leaned to the side, allowing me to get a look at him, and eyed up his sickly sweet treat. It was every flavor you could imagine, stacked up on top of each other, coupled with sprinkles and even a cherry on top. 

Spike just shrugged, taking his spoon and dipping it into the ice cream. “Dragons have a big appetite.”

“But if you get stomachache, Twilight’s going to kill me!” I said in a loud whisper. I was pretty sure letting Spike get sick was about the opposite of the new, responsible me I was trying to create.

Clearly I wasn’t quiet enough, for the next thing I knew a Pinkie Pie dove from under the table and right into my face. “I hope there isn’t an illegal ice cream incident initiating itself inside here, is there?”

“Bwah!!” I fell back onto my chair, flopping onto the floor. It wasn’t a graceful thing, involving my flailing legs and a few seconds of wobble time.

“Hey Pinkie,” Spike said, ice cream now covering his lips. “We’re fine. Lyra just bought me this.”

I’m pretty sure Pinkie can control time, since before I even blinked she was suddenly standing next to Spike, eyeing him like a cop. “Are you sure you’re allowed all that?”

Spike put on a childishly innocent look. “Well… Twilight never said I wasn’t allowed these specific scoops sitting in front of me right now.”

“Does she know you’re out right now?” Pinkie asked as I collected myself up from the floor.

“Uh-huh, told her I was heading out,” Spike said. “I’d already done most of my chores and she wasn’t really in the mood to argue.” I cringed at that, sitting back down. “I’ve got a curfew anyway, so I’m fine as long as I’m back before dark.”

“Okey dokey lokey…” Pinkie sinisterly, dramatically slipping back under the table and vanishing to the realm from whence she came.

I scooted my chair closing to the table, adjusting my mane a little. “How do you not get phased by that?”

“Twilight once had a mini-meltdown over trying to ‘science’ Pinkie Pie. We quickly learned not to question her.” He gave me a serious, almost traumatized look. “Ever.”

“Alright then.” I quickly shifted topics. What better one than catching up? “So how’s life been, Spike?”

Spike looked at me with an eager grin. “Crazy.” 

“I’m hardly surprised,” I admitted, leaning forward. “Is living here better than Canterlot?”

Spike briefly paused. “Gonna say yeah. Twilight does a lot more than just studying these days, and her friends are all really great ponies. That’s not even mentioning the crazy shenanigans we get up to.”

My heart felt a little prick to it. A pang of regret. “That must be fun.”

Those little ear tufts of Spike’s flattened against the side of his head. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to make you feel left out.” He gingerly pushed the ice cream towards me. “You can have some, if you want.” Honestly, it’s amazing how both mature and innocent one child can be. 

I pushed it back with my magic, smiling. “It’s yours, Spike. I bought for you. And it’s not your fault, either. I’d rather have Twilight and the Elements be out saving the world than the alternative.”

Spike pointed his spoon at me, accidentally launching a bit of ice cream onto the table. “Right!”

He went back to scoffing down his treat while I began to get all deep. The conversation begged a big ‘What if?’ scenario. Had I stayed in touch with Twilight, could I have been one of the Elements? Which one would I be? Laughter? No, I didn’t think I was a comedian. Loyalty had a nice ring to it though…

As exciting as the possibilities may have been, it was starting to leave blots of regret on my mind. I rubbed my face and cast such thoughts out of mind. Thinking of roads never taken was what got me into my messes in the first place. My focus first and foremost should be on the present.

Therefore, it was time to ask another question. “So what do you think of Ponyville?”

Spike gulped down some more ice cream before answering. “It’s pretty nice. Friendly enough for Twilight to let me wander about on my own sometimes.”

“Ponyville’s pretty safe like that.”

“Except for all the monsters,” Spike interjected.

“Well, monster attacks really spiked up since you got here,” I shot back, grinning.

“Twilight would just tell you that correlation does not equal causation.” Spike chanted the phrase almost like a mantra. It’d probably been drilled into his head a hundred times over. He was likely right, too, but still something to consider.

“Yeah, guess you’re right. So, how’s Cadance?” Maybe that was a weird question to ask for most but not so for a Heartstrings like myself.

My parents knew about Cadance’s babysitting services for Twilight, back in the day. Little surprise, they hired her for the exact same reason: my parents’ careers were a lot busier back in the day, which would’ve meant for a very lonely childhood, had it not been for Cadance. It was through Cadance that I became friends with Twilight, when she introduced us to each other at school. In return for her services, my parents gave her guidance on matters of the heart; she was always very interested in love, to the point where you could call it her scholarly pursuit.

Unsurprisingly, much like Twilight, I hadn’t seen her in a while. Thankfully, I didn’t feel as bad as that since it wasn’t entirely my fault. Being a princess and all, she had her royal duties… whatever the hay they were. Additionally, she still visited my parents from time to time but these visits were often unplanned and spontaneous—basically whenever she had the time—so I never got advance notice to come up to Canterlot and see her.

“She’s doing alright,” Spike said. “Haven’t seen her lately though.” See? I’m not the only one.

I grinned, resting my head on my hooves. “Is she still with Shining Armor?”

Oh, Mr. Armor, as I used to call him when I was small. If there was a stallion attractive enough to flip me over and turn me straight, he was it. Even when I was a kid, I was very interested Cadance’s relationship with him. Look, I thought it was cute! Childish things like cooties never bothered me, so while other fillies would’ve retched at the thought of lovey dovey stuff, I’d always ask perfectly innocent questions about it. 

“You bet,” Spike said, as he tore through more ice cream. “They’ve been together since ... I dunno, forever. I don’t think anything could ever tear them apart.”

“You think they’ll get married soon?” I asked. Spike just looked at me, his face stuffed with ice cream. I shrugged and continued, “I think they should.”

Maybe they wanted to, but politics were getting in the way. That wouldn’t surprise me. There’s been many stories of courtiers attempting to woo the Princesses but nothing ever came out of it. Dad told me that Cadance was a different class compared to Princess to Celestia or Luna, though. Sort of a ‘beta Princess,’ he told me. Granted, I am talking about the stallion that claims that you’ll get nightmares if you eat cheese before you sleep because Luna hates cheese, on account of it being all she had to eat on the moon. So take what he says with a pinch of salt.

“Not my problem,” Spike said with a wave of his claw. 

“That’s a smart move. Don’t deal with love until you’re older, Spike,” I advised.

Spike looked at the table, placing down his spoon. “Um … yeah, sure.”

My love detector suddenly went on the blink. “Something up, Spike?”

“No, I’m good.” He didn’t sound it.

“Aw, c’mon. I’m a Mistress of Love,” I proclaimed, scuffing my chest. “I can deal with any love-related issue. I’m so good at it, I’d be the Princess of Love if I was an alicorn!” Was I exaggerating? A bit. But some kids need heroes to look up to, someone they can feel confident in, before they’ll confide in them. 

“Well, it’s just…” He motioned for me to come closer. I did and he dropped to a whisper. “I think I’m in love with Rarity.”

Oh. Well, no biggie. Who didn’t have a crush on Rarity? She was the sexiest unicorn in all of Equestria. Bon Bon was, of course, the sexiest pony in all of Equestria. 

“You ‘think’ you’re in love with her, or are you actually in love with her?” I asked. An important distinction, even if I already knew the answer. Childhood crushes are perfectly natural and something that should be explored. I should know; I went through several throughout my childhood and they helped me figure out my sexual identity. So as cruel as it sounds, it wasn’t going to burst Spike’s bubble. It was important he learn from this experience, even if the lesson of rejection was one of the harshest of all.

Spike stalled with his answer a little, until he finally came out with a lackluster, “I dunno.”

“Well, I’m sure she’ll appreciate how much you like her,” I answered, unable to suppress my smile.

“No!” he cried out, his eyes darting around nervously afterward. When he next spoke, his voice was much quieter. “I can’t tell her all this.”

Oh Spike, she already knows. Children are far from subtle. “Why’s that?”

“Because it’s embarrassing?”

“Nah, I think it’s cute.”

“It’s not cute!” He fumed, scooping up a big blob of ice cream. “Forget I said anything…”

I held back a giggle. Childlike innocence never failed to be endearing. “Alrighty then.”

“So, about your music and stuff…” Spike began, likely eager to change the subject.

“Yeah?”

“Did Vinyl and Octavia really just ask you to get into the business after you played with them?” he asked. “The Vinyl Scratch and Octavia?”

I stared up at the ceiling, recollecting the strange events. “Pretty much. I suppose they just saw something in me.” Shrugging, I looked back at Spike. “Not sure what, but like true artists I guess the thought of me not getting out there and playing seemed sad to them.”

“Do you want to join them and be a big musical hotshot?”

The question he posed, as obvious as the answer might have seemed, actually struck a chord with me. Sure I wanted to be successful, but I actually hadn’t considered the effects that would create. I’d be a heck of a lot busier, for one thing, and I’d be to and fro between Ponyville and Canterlot, maybe staying in the capital for days or even weeks at a time.

Which meant less of seeing my Bon Bon…

Spike snapped his claws, a very sharp sound to be sure. “Lyra?” 

I blinked and snapped back to reality. “Yeah, of course! It was my fillyhood dream after all.” Besides, Bon Bon was my partner. My happiness was her happiness, and vice versa. She wanted me to pursue a career and this was the best option. Separation anxiety is just merely one small issue an evolving relationship has to deal with.

“Then I know you’ll get there eventually,” he replied, giving me a stylish point.

“Thanks, Spike.” I smiled at him, then ate up a scoop of my ice cream. It was starting to get warmer now and much more runny. “We should really finish up before we’re drinking the rest of this stuff.”

Spike flashed an eager, childish grin. “Right!” 

I lost the inevitable ice cream eating race.





Judging from the pained groans I heard behind me, I wasn’t exactly premiere parent material. Spike was sprawled out on my back, staring up at the sky and I had to do my best to walk carefully so he didn’t drop off.

“Why did it have to taste so gooood…?” Spike moaned, letting out an admittedly impressive belch. The scent wafted into my nostrils, unpleasant, like sniffing burned garlic.

“Because it’s ice cream,” I said. “And ice cream demands you pace yourself. Take the time to savor it.”

“You said we had to finish it quickly!”

“Not ‘I’m going to eat it straight from the bowl like a parasprite’ quickly!” I frowned, cursing my lack of forward thinking. It had been impressive at the time to watch him just go go go, but…

I heard a slap sound. Presumably Spike was covering his face with a claw. “I’m going to be in so much trouble…”

My heart twisted a beat. “You’re going to be in trouble?! Imagine what Twilight will do to me when she finds out about all this!” Suddenly my hoof felt really good to nibble on right then. “I’m doomed. Utterly dreadfully doomed.”

“Huh.” Spike paused. “Guess you’re right.”

“Not what I wanted to hear, Spike!” I cried, flicking a foreleg out. My body wanted to do more, to just shake, roll on the floor, whatever. I had my sick passenger though, and I wasn’t going to damage him further by throwing him off.

“I’ve got a real bad tummy ache here!” Spike said, shuffling his position. “You’re a creative genius, you think of something!”

Creative? Yes. Intelligent? Not really. At the time though, I couldn’t help but feel he had a point. So I thought, and thought hard about a solution to all our problems and in the matrix of my imaginative mind, my soul and brain worked in harmony to come up with the most creative plan ever. 

We went back to Bon Bon.

Hey, bringing in others to help you is creative. It’s thinking outside the box. Plus, it’s not being stubborn either. It’s humble—admirable, even.

I banged hard on her door, peeking my head around erratically. Twilight could’ve been out there, looking for Spike. And if she saw me, I could kiss goodbye to any rekindling of friendships.

Bon Bon’s hoof stopped mine before I could accidentally smack her in the face. She gently put it down and gave me a smile. “Hey, love.”

“In! In in!” I cried, shuffling in and urging her inside further.

“What—” She stumbled, then blinked at my new passenger. “Is that Spike?!”

“We’re friends,” I said, shutting the door behind me and peeking through the peephole. No lavender unicorns out there.

“You’re friends? Just now? Today?” Bonnie asked, following me as I took Spike to the couch.

Carefully, I put Spike down, laying his head on a pillow. “No, for years. But we’ve been distant until today.”

He gave Bon Bon a small wave. “Uh, hi.”

Bon Bon looked at me, her brow furrowed irregularly. “You never told me you were friends.”

I shot her a grin. “Guess we all have our little secrets, huh?”

“You have no idea,” Strumming said, walking into the room. Of course, the sight of Spike made her come to a stop. “Is that … a baby dragon on your couch?” He didn’t bother giving her a proper greeting, just waving at her. 

“Not just any baby dragon. Twilight Sparkle’s baby dragon,” Bon Bon ‘helpfully’ clarified.

I snorted, but nodded anyway. Really, she should’ve let me explain myself. Now the whole thing looked far worse on my part. Even if it was my fault, I could’ve handled some damage control.

“We’re friends who go way back!” I gazed over at Spike. “Isn’t that right?”

“She’s not lying,” he replied. I turned back to Bon Bon and Strumming and smirked.

“Well, I knew you were friends with Twilight back in Canterlot. I’d just never seen the little guy before,” Strumming said. 

Not surprising, really. Strumming had been busy with her work for nearly as long as I’d known her. The times when she was most free were when I was much younger, and back then Spike was even younger than he is now. Like, a baby baby dragon, pacifier in mouth and everything.

“Lyra, none of that explains why he’s here and why he looks ill.” Bon Bon gave me the classic Lyraaaaa look. The one where she tilts her head to the side and looks all disappointed at me.

“We went out for ice cream and he had too much,” I said. “That’s all.”

“That still doesn’t account for why you wanted to hide him away here,” Bon Bon replied, frowning.

I sighed, my tail dropping in between my legs. “Talking with Twilight didn’t go so hot.” I hung my head, the room suddenly feeling just a little colder. “She barely remembers who I am.”

“But the dragon does?” Strumming asked.

“Spike, yeah. So I thought we could do some catching up today and it went really well, but…” I plastered my face on the door’s window and peered outside. “If Twilight finds out he got ill, she’s never going to want be my friend ever again!”

“I’ll probably get in trouble too…” Spike mumbled.

“Yeah, that too.” I turned back to Bon Bon. “You see my dilemma now?!”

She rubbed her chin, considering it briefly. “It’s awkward … but not the end of the world. She might be annoyed at you for a bit, but I know you, Lyra.” She stepped forward and nuzzled my cheek. The scent of sweet candy danced around me and it smelled good, smelled like security, smelled like a dream come real. “You’re an outgoing, friendly, lovely mare. You’ll patch things up eventually, I just know it.”

A surge of warmth swelled within me and I smiled at her. “Thanks, Bonnie.” I winked at her. “If I’m as persistent with her as I’m with you, then I’ll have her beat in no time.”

Strumming had approached Spike on the couch, probably fascinated at seeing an actual dragon. I had no idea if she had seen one close up like this but as far as I knew, Freeport was no dragon town. “So, Twilight knows you’re out, right?” 

“Yeah, I made up an excuse to head outside,” he answered.

A faint smirk gradually grew to a smile on my cousin’s face. “We could sneak you in…”

I blinked and went over to her, although not before kissing my dear Bon Bon on her muzzle. “Sneak him in? That’s crazy, how would that ever work?”

Strumming shrugged and looked over at Bons. “I think we could pull it off. It’s worth a shot, right?”

“And if we get caught?” I threw up a hoof. “And that’s not to mention Twilight’s going to wonder where the heck Spike appeared from!”

Strumming was about to reply, but a much younger voice broke the silence first. “Actually…” We all turned to Spike. “Twilight’s got her head so buried in books, sometimes she doesn’t even notice when someone enters the library. If she asks, I’ll just tell her I came in earlier.”

Twilight was definitely … into books, almost obsessively. In fact, during school, one of our favorite pranks was to see just how much silly stuff we could get away with next to Twilight while she was face deep in a book. Pinning silly notes on her back, shaping her mane into… unique styles. The works.

Still, this plan seemed stupid even by my standards. “She’s still going to hear us take you in, Spike.”

“Oh silly Strumhorn. Really, this is child’s play.” Strumming patted my head like I was some bratty child. “All we need is someone to distract Twilight while you smuggle Spike inside. Easy.”

I blinked. On second thought, this was beginning to sound like an actual, feasible plan. Sure, it was silly but Bon Bon loves my silliness. Speaking of, I turned to her and smiled. “You’re a great conversationalist, Bonnie. You could distract Twilight easily.”

She looked at me, then to Strumming behind me, just for a moment. “Well I suppose I could…”

“It’d be easier if I do it,” Strumming interrupted. I whirled around, shooting her a perked brow. “I’m new here, so she’s never met me before. Therefore, I can be much more engaging to talk to—especially if I needed help finding my way around town, or looking for a book I heard is only kept at the Ponyville library.”

Another good point by my cousin. It was frustrating how good she was at this … but then again, being sneaky was her thing. Also being snacky. The sneaker snacker, Strumming Heartstrings. Still, I wasn’t entirely happy just yet. I looked over at Bon Bon, examined that beautiful form of hers. She was perfect in almost every way, molded like a classical sculpture but… she never struck me as particularly sneaky. Especially when taking into her account her build…

I’ll say it right here in the open: the Bonbutt was big.

Even with my reservations, I wasn’t going to shut her out completely. And Bonnie knew herself almost as well as I did. “What do you think?” I asked her.

She smiled and nodded. “Let’s do it.”

I blinked and stepped closer. “Are you sure? Really sure? Super sure?”

She smirked, flicking her tail. “What did I just say?”

“Er, okay then…” I fell to my rump, two smiling mares staring down at me. “Guess we have our plan, then.”





It’s really hard to stay quiet when you have twigs sticking in your sides. Who would’ve guessed that bushes were not comfy places for ponies to be?

“How are you not writhing in discomfort?” I asked Spike.

He slowly lolled his head over to me, pointedly gesturing to his stomach. “I am.” 

“Oh, right.” I laughed halfheartedly, rubbing the back of my head.

“Dragon scales are pretty tough though, so these branches aren’t affecting me at all,” he explained.

Made sense. In the time I had known Spike, as well as seeing him around Ponyville, he did seem to be a magnet for… physical accidents. He was never seriously hurt by them though.

“Focus you two,” Bon Bon whispered to us, although she stared through the library’s window. 

Now, I’m not going to deny the fact that out of the two of us, Bonnie was the level-headed, grounded one. But… “Er, I don’t think wearing shades is going to help you see better in there,” I pointed out, gesturing to the pair of sunglasses Bon Bon was wearing.

I caught a glimpse of her eyes blinking. “Er, well, you see—” Suddenly she tensed up and almost pressed her muzzle against the window. “Strumming’s coming in now. Get ready.”

“Right…” I got myself up, incurring more scratches and cuts against the branches. I let out ‘ooo’s ‘aaah’s as well as the occasional hiss when I did.

Bon Bon picked up Spike, put him on her back, then nudged open the window very carefully. 

I rolled my eyes. “Lucky she doesn’t lock these things.”

Spike seemed to share my sarcastic wit. “Yeah, Twilight’s always been a scatterbrain.”

“Focus,” Bon Bon said. No, it was more of a command—a single word enough to send a shiver down my spine that wasn’t unwelcome. She kept opening the window slowly, then crept in with a sneakiness that defied her luxurious rear. The whole thing looked so easy, she made it look like something she’d done every other day. 

I knew I wouldn’t be so inherently stealthy as Bonnie but I did have one advantage she lacked. My horn glowed and those reliable digits of mine appeared around my hooves. I touched the window sill and my hands’ grip made the whole climb in a lot more stable. I landed inside without so much as a scuff.

Sure enough, Strumming was talking to Twilight, whose back was to us. I could see her eyes though, ogling my cousin. Strumming excited her alright, but that was only because she was a new pony to study. “You’re from Freeport? That’s fascinating! I’ve always wanted to go there. Could you tell me a few things about it?”

Spike just rolled his eyes at me, and for my part I had to bite my hoof to prevent a snicker. I shook my head, then followed Bon Bon’s lead as she took him up the stairs to the next room.

Our movements were swift yet controlled and the steps under our hooves were solid; no risk of creaking there.We loosened up a little once we hit the room proper and Bonnie carefully let Spike down. He held his stomach, but got off himself, standing before us. “Thanks for smuggling me in,” he whispered.

Bon Bon gave him a firm salute, which I didn’t comment on, since I was far more interested in his claws. They tapped against each other erratically.

I smiled at him, lowering myself to his level. “I’m sure you must feel a little bad for going behind Twilight’s back but it’s for the greater good, honestly. We can confess later, when I’ve patched things up with her, alright?”

He nodded, then blinked. “I’m not sure I want to get punished either…”

I snickered behind my hoof. “Don’t worry too much about it. Just focus on sleeping off that tummy ache.” I reached forward and gave the little guy an affectionate pat. “Was great talking to you again at least. Thanks for being such a good friend, Spike.”

He smiled at me, claws no longer fidgeting with themselves. “I don’t think I could ever forget you and your mintiness.”

I laughed again, giving him a friendly wave, while Bonnie just settled for a single motion of her hoof. We turned to go and prepared to enter stealth mode once more.

“One last thing.”

We froze.

“You’ll see Twi’s parents, right?” he asked. “About the music thing?”

I looked back at him and smiled, all while suppressing the urge to hide my tail in between my legs. “Sure thing, Spike. It’s a good move as any.”

“Then go for it!” He gave me a thumbs-up … which drifted to his stomach. He groaned, then wandered off to the side of the room and rested against the wall. “As for me, I’m taking a break…”

I nodded at him, then Bon Bon gestured for us to go, so I followed her back down the stairs. Strumming was still occupying Twilight,a few books now floating around her. I gave my cousin a sly smirk; she had no idea what she had just gotten herself into.

Still, Twilight could’ve turned around at any moment and spotted us, which kept my heart pounding through the whole ordeal. Our fates were in the grasp of Lady Luck right there.

Thankfully, the good Lady was kind to us as we slipped out of the window. Bon Bon landed with grace and I … tumbled head first into the bush. Bonnie muttered to herself, likely about me being silly, then closed the window shut. 

I took a couple of seconds to process events. Then I spat out a branch. I continued processing some more. We did it. We actually pulled off this goofy idea. My heart was still pounding but now I was smiling too; if I could do this, then surely that was a sign of things to come.

“Well Bonnie,” I began, sorting out my mane, “looks like we—”

And then the love of my life surged forward and met me on the lips.

The world melted away from me, Bonnie’s warmth overpowering any prickly sensation from the bush. Her strong yet delicate hooves wrapped around me and I couldn’t protest. I closed my eyes and took everything in. Her touch, her smell, the very feeling of closeness we shared.

We were like that for some time, not sure how long, before Bon Bon pulled away. Her cheeks were red and she grinned at me. It was a very sexy grin, I’ll say. Wish I could say I was pulling off the same demeanor. My eyes were wide and my whole face was flushed red. “Uh… wow.”

“Yeah,” she replied.

“What was that for?” I asked, trying not to sound accusing. It was just… I was typically the one to be so forward, at least out in public like this.

Bonnie took off her shades and folded them up, gazing at them briefly. “Caught in the moment, I suppose.” She met my eyes and I could see the smile in hers. “That was pretty exciting, don’t you agree?”

“Uh-huh,” I nodded along with her, smiling. 

“So…” She traced a hoof alongside my inner thigh. I shivered. “How about we…?”

She didn’t need to ask me twice. Still, there was one loose end. “What about Strumming?”

Bon Bon snorted, looking into the window briefly. “She’ll be tied up for Twilight for a while. Plenty of time for us to have some fun.”

I grinned and prepared to respond, but apparently my reaction was enough. Bon Bon suddenly grabbed my hoof and dragged me out of the bush.

Need I say what happened next? It was too beautiful to put into words anyway.