Equestria's Dark Heroes

by CMNiall

First published 12th of December, 2012

Four very dangerous humans are brought to Equestria by a strange being for reasons unknown to them.

A mutant mercenary, a Dyclonius, a half demon devil hunter, and an artificially modified super soldier. With little in common they are dragged from their worlds by a mysterious being and planted in a colourful world of ponies for unknown reasons. How will this dangerous quartet take to the land of Equestria? A Marvel Universe, Elfen Lied, Devil May Cry, and Warhammer 40k crossover that may include other universes as it progresses. And three of the main characters are OCs.

Introductions

November 29th, 2012,
Blackpool, England
The day was rather dreary, pouring rain as the English weather seemed to enjoy doing so much. Mike, a 6’5” clean shaven man with chestnut coloured short hair, Icy blue eyes, and a fairly muscular body, wearing black jeans, a dark blue shirt with a yellow X located on the upper right corner, and a brown aviator’s jacket, who also happened to be a mutant with powers similar to Magneto (though admittedly weaker) found himself looking out the window of a hotel room with a bored expression on his face. He was supposed to meet his contact here an hour ago but still no one had shown up.
“Well this is just lovely. Dragged all the way from home to an English city with weather more depressing than a kicked puppy.” The Canadian said then thought for a moment. “Okay maybe not quite that depressing.” He sighed. “I’m going to have to kick Deadpool’s ass when I get back. I hate when he gives me false contacts for laughs. He must be busting a gut right now. Wait, that gives me a great idea!” he said as he smiled evilly.
“Now, now, there’s no need for such violence.” Mike turned to this new voice. In the doorway stood a woman of average height with long blond hair and wearing a blood red leather suit. How had he not heard her open the door? “At least, not towards your friends.” She continued as she walked into the room.
“So, I’m getting contracted to kill someone by a T-2000. That’s slightly ironic.” Mike said with an amused smile but the woman just stared at him blankly. “What? You’ve never watched Terminator 3?” he said trying to be humorous but the woman only gave him an annoyed glare.
“I thought I was hiring a killer, not a comedian.” She said coldly. Mike couldn’t place a finger on it but something about this woman bothered him. Something just seemed…out of whack. But stranger still was this particular feeling of out-of-whackness was familiar. He’d felt it before but he couldn’t for the life of him place when, where, or from whom.
“It keeps the whole thing from becoming more macabre than necessary.” He said with a shrug. “Anyways, my attitude hasn’t lessened the quality of my results. I’m still only second to Wolverine.”
“Which is fairly concerning since your powers specifically counter him.” The woman snapped.
“You know about my powers, huh? Then you must belong to some big bad crime syndicate.” Said a slightly irritated Mike. It wasn’t his fault Wolverine had superior training, at least a hundred more years of experience, and unbreakable bones.
“Oh no, we are not a crime syndicate, my…. organization simply wishes for you to fulfill this contract in Africa.” Said the still unnamed woman but the pause in her speech had not gone unnoticed. Mike started to get the feeling that this job would take a very unpredictable turn of events as he began to speak.
“Africa? What could you possibly want me to do there? Capture a diamond mine? Listen lady, I don’t know what you’ve been told but I don’t kill children.” The mercenary said sternly but the woman only chuckled.
“No, no, you are simply going to a shanty town in the savannah to kill a target who escaped us and retrieve a briefcase. “
“And you need me because?” Mike said. He was no stranger to set ups, and this seemed like quite the set up. It all seemed just too easy. His services weren’t cheap and so were usually reserved for near suicidal missions that few other mercenaries could complete. Business had boomed for him ever since Deadpool joined the X-Men and left the mercenary game.
“Because it could potentially turn into a warzone and we need someone who could retrieve our package should that happen.” The strange woman said with an emotionless face. ‘Well this is just peachy’ Mike thought to himself as he stared her down. Then she held out a folder. “Contained within this is all the information you’ll need on your target and his location.” Mike nodded as he took the folder then was also handed a plane ticket then the woman continued on “Your plane to Africa leaves in a few hours, you should move along.” Mike opened his mouth to say something witty in retort but found himself speechless, which was a very rare occurrence. It was also strange, he thought while walking down the hall towards the elevator, that she left him speechless as she had done nothing that would have rendered him as such. The one thing he knew for sure was that she was not ordinary by any stretch of the imagination. Mike just sighed as he rode the elevator down to the lobby from the 6th floor. It was then that a revelation had hit him.
“Room 66…on floor 6.” He said aloud. 666, the number of the devil. He’d dealt with enough of these types of people to know that it was not a coincidence. “So, it seems old Lucifer wants my help.” He laughed lightly to himself. When the elevator doors opened once again Mike swiftly walked through the lobby of the hotel and noticed as he walked that the rain had stopped leaving the city quite muggy. “Gotta love that English weather.” He said as he walked down the street. After 2 blocks he heard screams and yelling coming from a dark alley. “How cliché.” Was all Mike said before he took off down the alleyway. After a five second sprint he found the source of the commotion, a woman with brown hair was held against the wall of the alley by three men while two others kept watch, one armed with a crowbar and the other seemingly unarmed but Mike assumed he probably had a knife hidden in his pocket. One of the men hiked up her skirt and pulled down her panties. “Oh Christ, this won’t end well…for them.” Mike said under his breath and smiled wickedly. As much as he tried to play the hero in such situations he couldn’t help but enjoy the violence that ensued.
“Stop! Please, someone help me!” the woman screamed as the men continued their unwanted advances.
“Shut the hell up!” The man keeping watch with a crowbar yelled at her with a cockney accent.
“Someone gag her! We don’t want the bobbies hearing us.” The other watchman said with the same accent.
“You know, I thought even savage cretins would understood the word ‘no’.” Mike said as he walked into their view.
“Eh? Who the fuck are you?” the unarmed looking watchman said.
“Doesn’t matter who ‘e is. If you want to live you’ll just walk back the way you came.” The one armed with a crowbar said. The other three men were paying no attention to Mike, they were much more interested in the woman they were forcefully undressing.
“Oi blighters, you three better stop that before I make your deaths more painful than they were going to be!” Mike shouted to the men busy with the woman while imitating the watchmen’s cockney accents.
“Ben, take care of him.” One of the three men said to the thug armed with a crowbar apparently named Ben.
“With pleasure.” Ben said smiling cruelly. He brought his right arm holding the crowbar back ready to swing it with what would probably be bone-breaking results. Ben swung with all his might but his attack was stopped, the crowbar hovering a few inches from Mike’s head. Ben pulled on the crowbar with all the strength he could muster but it remained in place. Mike looked at the crowbar then flicked his eyes towards the thug holding it and suddenly it shot towards him, pierced his right eye and forced its way out of the back of Ben’s head. He collapsed, dead before he even hit the ground.
“Jack, what the hell just happened?!” The three men who had been busying themselves with the woman shouted in unison. The other watchman shook himself out of the shock of what he just witnessed.
“The fucker’s a mutant!” Shouted the watchman whom Mike now knew was Jack. The man who had given Ben his order spoke.
“A mutant like our little tart here?” The man who had told Ben to kill Mike said and patted the woman’s now bear ass.
“What should I do, Shaun?” Jack yelled back.
“Put that knife you’re so proud of to use and stab him.” The man now identified as Shaun said. But before he could take out his switchblade Jack was grabbed by Mike who then lifted the man over his head and threw him to the ground headfirst. Jack’s neck snapped on impact and he lay dead on the ground with blood slowly streaming out of his mouth. Mike bent down and took Jack’s knife from his pocket then turned to the three remaining men and began speaking.
“So, how do you want to die? Sorta painful or very painful? It’s your choice.” He said with a hint of anger.
“George, hold her down. We’ll take care of this freak.” Shaun said to one man while he motioned the other to follow him. But before they could attempt anything Mike threw the knife towards the two approaching him and it impaled the unnamed man’s throat then flew back to Mike as he held out his hand for it who then threw it into Shaun’s knee, sending him to the ground. Mike quickly followed up by taking the knife and stabbing Shaun’s chest. Mike left the man named Shaun screaming in pain and approached the woman while George looked like he was about to make a run for it. George took a step and tried to run but Mike caught him by the wrist and spun him into a headlock.
“Now, now, we’ll be having none of that.” Mike said as he held the struggling man. “Shh, shh, shh, it’s alright now. Don’t worry, don’t worry.” Mike said just before breaking George’s neck then turned his back to the woman and said “Put your cloths back on. We can’t have you catching a cold in this dreary weather.” The woman complied and once she was fully dressed walked up to her savior, wary of the bodies around them.
“Thank you. So, can I know my savior’s name?” The woman said with a cute English accent. Mike turned around to introduce himself.
“Mike Winters, pleased to meet you miss…” Mike said as he held out his hand.
“Victoria Miles.” The woman said pleasantly as she took Mike’s hand.
“A pretty name for a pretty lady.” Mike said with a mischievous smile then continued talking. “So, you’re a mutant? Why didn’t you use your powers to fight back or run?” He said with genuine curiosity. Mike just couldn’t understand it.
“My powers don’t have much use for fighting or running.” Victoria said avoiding eye contact with Mike. “Not unless there’s a robot nearby.” That last part earned her a confused look from Mike which made her laugh. Mike wasn’t sure if she was laughing at him or the face he made but quite frankly he didn’t care, she was getting over the traumatic event that had just happened and that was good enough for him. “I’m a Technopath.” She said to try and clarify for the confused mercenary.
“I’ll be honest, I have no idea what that means.” Mike said as the two continued walking. Through all his travels, which were many, he had never heard of Technopathy.
“A Technopath is a person who can sense and control technology with their mind.” Victoria said then pointed to Mike’s left wrist. “Like that cloaking device you have.”
“Very impressive.” Mike said then stopped her. “Do you know any other mutants around here?” He continued but almost regretted asking when he could see the hurt in her eyes.
“No, I just moved here after people found out I was a mutant. My family…” Victoria said but started crying. Mike took her into a hug and started speaking softly.
“There, there, it’s okay. Don’t cry.” He said as he stroked her hair. Now Mike really did regret asking despite his rather noble intentions. “Listen, I only asked because I have a solution for you.” Victoria looked up at him with teary eyes then broke away and wiped away her tears embarrassed that she had broken down in front of him like that. Once had recomposed herself she looked back to him.
“A solution?” Victoria had heard that word plenty of times from anti-mutant speakers like Senator Kelly and she didn’t like it despite Mike being a mutant too.
“Oh don’t give me that look, I don’t mean some toxin made by a sociopathic doctor who thinks they’re working for the greater good of man. I meant I can send you to Xavier’s Institute for Gifted Youngsters, a safe haven for mutants and home of the X-Men.” Mike said and at this Victoria’s eyes lit up.
“You can really get me in there?” She said with renewed hope. Finally a safe place to call home, though she had never heard of the institute she had definitely heard of the X-Men.
“Well sure, it’s not all that hard really. Just show up, say you’re a mutant and in you go. I’ll just pay for your plane ticket.” Mike said rubbing the back of his neck. “Passage to America ain’t cheap. Normally I’d take you back myself but I have an important job that I can’t put off so instead I’ll buy your ticket and write down the address. Oh and give you my cell number in case you need me for some reason.” He finished. Mike would love to go with her back to the institute but like he said he had a job to do. They continued talking as they walked out of the alley and hailed a cab to the airport regaling each other with funny stories until they finally arrived at the airport and got on to their respective planes, after Mike had bought Victoria her ticket and given her more than enough money to get to the Xavier Institute when she landed in America. Meanwhile Mike settled in for a peaceful ride and ended up sleeping for the majority of the way, awaking minutes before reaching his destination. Leaving the plane he looked around to try to find a car rental as the shanty town was an hour’s drive and Mike immediately decided we was NOT walking. Mike ended up criss-crossing the entirety of the city before finding a place that had off-road vehicles to rent . Why it had been so difficult to find he had no idea but Mike rented a Jeep and went on his way. The drive itself was fairly uneventful, Mike saw a herd of Zebras here and there, gazelles, and even a stampede of elephants but nothing worthy of note actually happened to him. He arrived in the shanty town slightly ahead of schedule but wasn’t greeted by what he thought he’d see. He thought he’d see a ghetto with hobos and vagrants but what he saw was a warzone. Mike exited the jeep to inspect the bodies. ‘Odd’ he thought ‘There are no bullet holes. All of the bodies are cut up.’ Then Mike saw something that would have made his stomach churn had he not been hardened. Small bodies…children, cut clean in half. “It wasn’t a war, it was a massacre.” He said to himself in near horror. Mike slowly walked towards one when he heard something, faint thuds. They sounded like footsteps but whatever was making them was far larger than any human and getting fairly close. As he turned to look of the source of the sound he saw a man and woman running but he was shocked by what happened next. A 12 foot tall humanoid thing with a giant machete in place of its right forearm came barreling after them and in one swing from its machete cut both the man and woman in half. The monster then noticed mike and started walking towards him.
“I’ll cleave your skull in two” it bellowed in an inhuman voice.
“Well shit.” Mike said before assuming a combat stance and readying himself for the battle. The beast rushed forwards and swung its cleaver downwards in an arc of death. Mike tried to stop it but his magnetic powers had no effect. He rolled to his left just in time to dodge the attack then dash forwards and slid under the thing’s legs. He quickly looked around for any metal objects he could use but was forced to dash back to dodge another attack. As the beast charged forward Mike ran into the nearest building to look for a weapon and found a large assortment of a dozen knives lying in a box. Mike smiled ‘perfect’ he thought and grabbed them before running back out to meet the creature. He threw up the box and raised a hand before the knives could fall. They hung in the air silently, slowly turning so all twelve blades were aimed at the monster who stared at them mystified, then, without warning Mike brought down his hand and the knives flew towards the beast and impaled it. As its body fell Mike gave a sigh of relief and rolled his shoulders, loosening them in case he ran into more trouble. On instinct he turned to face a figure who began clapping slowly as it approached him. The figure was an elderly man with white hair dressed in a black three piece suit over a crimson dress shirt with a black tie.
“Well done.” The old man said showing little enthusiasm.
“And you are?” Mike asked even though he had a good idea.
“Oh, I think you know who I am.” The man said with an amused, devilish smile on his face. Mike moved to punch him but just as he took his first step the old man snapped his fingers and the world faded into darkness.

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Mike woke up on a bench with his jacket beside him in a metropolitan city with no idea how he got there. After a short look around he was able to discern he was in Japan based on the signs (written in Japanese, obviously), that it was well into the evening and that it was cold enough to see his breath. Mike decided his next move would be to find out what city he’s in and so he stood up, put on his jacket and walked off down the street with no idea where he was aside from it being a Japanese city. After several minutes of walking he came across what he assumed to be high school students. At least Mike hoped they were high school students otherwise he was looking at some seriously overly matured 12-year-olds. They seemed to be gathered around something hunched on the ground and shouting things at it. As he got closer Mike realized the thing on the ground was a girl with shoulder-length pink hair dressed in tattered blue jeans and a faded black shirt with a Pink heart and said “Friendship is magic” on the front sitting against a wall with her legs pulled against her chest and her head resting on her knees and the crowd was shouting unflattering obscenities at her. Mike was only a few feet from them now and decided he’d step in.
“It’s a school night boys and girls, shouldn’t you be home studying?” Mike said with slight overconfidence and shortly realized he didn’t actually know what day it was and his epic line would sound incredibly stupid if there were no school for them. But to his relief their answer sounded as though they did indeed have school the next day.
“Yeah, what’s it to…” a boy looking to be about fifteen started to say until he turned to see Mike. Now, to clarify, the average height of an adult Japanese man is 5’7” so the 6’5” well-built Mike would be fairly intimidating to a teenager despite his usually rather laid back disposition. Once the whole group saw Mike they scattered and left the poor girl they had been berating at his mercy. She didn’t look up, speak, or acknowledge Mike in any way so he did the most human thing possible. He walked over and sat beside her.
“You know, I’m kinda new to this whole hero thing but I’m pretty sure this is the part where the distressed damsel thanks the knight in shining armour.” Mike said trying to elicit a response from the girl. “In case you’re offended that was just a joke.” He continued but still she remained silent. “I’m just gonna keep rambling until you talk to me.” Mike still persisted but two details about the girl caught his eye and silenced him. First; he noticed she had what looked like white ears poking out of her hair. Second and more importantly; he noticed that she was only wearing a t-shirt in such cold weather. Without giving the white ‘ears’ a second thought he took off his jacket and placed it around the girl’s shoulders which finally earned him a response. She slowly raised her head and looked at the jacket then at Mike and he saw her pink eyes.
“Why?” was the only word she said as she continued to stare curiously at him.
“Well, because you looked cold.” Mike said with a smile, elated that he had finally gotten her to talk and completely forgetting his initial goal to learn of his current location.
“No, I mean why aren’t you running? Don’t you know what I am?” The girl said with confusion, curiosity and a sadness clinging to every word.
“Why would I run?” Mike asked without his smile faltering. “And I know exactly what you are.” After that last sentence the girl looked at him dumbstruck. Everyone who knew what she was either avoided or abused her, they never helped her. “You’re a lonely girl in need of a friend and I’m more than happy to oblige.” He continued and the light in her eyes faded away, he didn’t know what she really was. Seeing this Mike quickly added “I know you’re different in some way, possibly you have inhuman powers.” That made the girl feel a little better. Even if he didn’t know exactly what she was he knew she was different and still intended to help her. Or at least it seemed that way, the girl had been tricked by ‘friends’ before and was cautious to accept the large stranger as friendly, even though he’d just helped her.
“How do I know I can trust you?” the girl asked, still unsure of Mike.
“Well, I just helped you. And I’m like you to some degree.” Mike said with a sort of kindness he was sure the girl had never been given before. “If I show you my power will you give me a chance?” He asked and received a slight nod from the girl. With that Mike took out a coin from his pocket then held his hand out and the girl watched intently with curious eyes as the coin began levitating and moving between his fingers gracefully. “I can manipulate magnetic fields to control all manner of metal objects.” Mike said with a smile as he returned the coin to his pocket and locked eyes with the girl. “See? We’re not so different, you and me. How about introductions?” He said as he began to stand up and the girl followed. At her full height the girl was about 4’ 3”, a full two feet smaller than him. “Mike Winters, at your service.” Mike said and took a bow.
“I’m Megumi Miharu, pleased to meet you.” The pink haired girl said then also bowed.
“Likewise. Now then, we can’t have you walking around in this kind of temperature with just a t-shirt.” Mike said as he brought his hands together then looked around. “I don’t suppose you know your way around.”
“Well sure but where are you going?” Megumi asked curious of Mike’s intentions.
“We are going to find a store to buy you your own jacket.” He replied and as Megumi was about to speak he put a finger over her lips and added “Before you ask, I’m buying you a jacket because you need one and because you’re a friend and I take care of my friends.” He finished and removed his finger. Megumi looked at Mike for a moment then grinned.
“Right, follow me! I know where we should go!” She said with cheer Mike had yet to see from her and began walking down the street with Mike in tow.
As they walked Mike and Megumi got to know each other, talking about their likes and interests. Through all of it Megumi talked about a show about colourful ponies and the supposed power of friendship. Mike didn’t really understand this show she was talking about but it gave Mike an idea where she might take them. If this show was as popular as Megumi said then surely it would have a store somewhere or a store that sells its merchandise at least. 10 minutes later Mike found he was right and they walked into a store with all sorts of pony based merchandise.
“Okay, go find yourself a sweater, a jacket, and a tuke.” Mike said as he glanced around the store for anything he might find interesting.
“A tuke?”
“Sorry, Canadian terminology. I mean a winter hat.” Mike said rubbing the back of his head. With that Megumi took off with a smile on her face and a bounce in her step. Within roughly 20 minutes she had picked out a black wool hat with the words “Friendship Is Magic” stitched on in pink, a cyan hoodie with a rainbow hood and rainbow lettering on the back that read “20% Cooler” and a white winter coat that had 6 pictures on the back (to save on time and needless explanation they’re the cutie marks of the mane 6). They approached the counter and an elderly clerk eyed them up then gave a distain filled look.
“We don’t serve freaks. Bad for business.” He said crossing his arms as if that would make his point clearer. Mike hid his loathing and responded with false enthusiasm.
“Hey, come closer so I can tell ya something.” The clerk complied and leaned over the counter only to be grabbed by the back of his head. Mike slammed to clerk’s skull off the counter and he slumped onto the floor unconscious. Mike then proceeded to ring up with clothes and tossed the appropriate amount of money of the unconscious old man before motioning for Megumi to follow. “I think it’s about time to head in for the night. I saw a motel a little ways back.” He said as they exited the store. So they walked back, checked into the hotel and upon opening the door to their room (which contained two beds) Mike jumped onto one of the beds and assumed what he thought to be a sexy pose and said
“Paint me like one your French girls.” They barely suppressed a smile before they both burst out laughing. When they finally regained their breath Megumi turned to Mike with a somewhat solemn look on her face.
“Can I show you something?” she asked somewhat shyly but before Mike could answer he was cut off by a loud, feminine voice
“We have the building surrounded. Come out now or we will open fire!” It shouted with authority. Mike shrugged and walked out the door. He was greeted by what appeared to be 20 well armed Spec-Ops soldiers in black combat outfits. In front of them was a tallish, black haired, well-built woman. On seeing Megumi she gave a cruel smile. “I see you’ve found a new toy Megumi. Come with us and he won’t be killed.” The woman growled angrily. Mike figured they had a very turbulent history together. Megumi looked fearfully between Mike and the woman. She didn’t want to go with them but she didn’t want Mike to be hurt after the kindness he’d shown her. Mike saw this and put a hand on her shoulder.
“Don’t worry. They won’t be able to lay a hand on us.” he said and gave her an encouraging smile then turned to the woman and her armed entourage. “And you all can just sod off.” This seemed to anger the woman and she backed out of the line of fire.
“You don’t know what she is, do you? She’s a freak! Why are you helping her?!” The woman shouted trying to get him to step away but Mike just shrugged.
“Freak is a relative term.” he responded coolly.
“She’s a Dyclonius. Do you even know what that is, you fool?” The woman shouted still full of anger and gritted her teeth.
“Not really. Why should I care?” Mike retorted still unmoved in his resolve to stand by Megumi.
“Dyclonius are monsters! They-” she was cut off as Mike raised a hand and blasted her back with a magnetic pulse but she quickly stood up with wild fury in her eyes.
“Kill them!” she bellowed with seething hatred. The soldiers opened fire and Megumi closed her eyes waiting for death. But strangely it didn’t come. She opened her eyes to see Mike standing with his arm outstretched. Then she looked towards the men trying to kill them and couldn’t believe her eyes. The bullets they continued to fire all stopped mid-flight and just hung there. She hadn’t realized just how powerful Mike was. The woman and her subordinates stood there with their mouths agape, unable to believe it either. Mike flicked his hand and all the bullets shot back towards the soldiers with enough force to kill or gravely injure. The soldiers all collapsed in pain and agony leaving only the woman to fight Mike and Megumi but strangely she didn’t seem frightened by this fact.
“Do it.” She said as she spoke into a walkie-talkie. A moment later there was a loud CRACK of a gunshot and before Mike or Megumi had time to react to the shot they heard the sound of a bullet deflecting off steel. They all turned to see a white-haired man clad in a red trench coat standing behind Megumi with a large sword drawn in a defensive position. Once again they heard a loud gunshot but this time Mike, Megumi and the woman actually saw the figure block the bullet with its sword. Mike was able to find the lone gunman located high atop a skyscraper based on the trail smoke his bullet left behind and using his magnetic powers Mike pulled the gun off the building which was followed by the rather surprised gunman still holding it. He plummeted off the building and out of sight screaming all the way. The woman’s anger and hatred was now replaced with fear and she shakily took out a pistol aimed for the group of oddities that was Mike, Megumi, and the new man but it did her no good as Mike used his powers to knock the gun away with a flick of his wrist. Megumi approached her with hatred growing then; much to Mike and the sword toting stranger’s surprise, the woman was suddenly cut into a dozen or so pieces by an unseen force. The man looked at Mike accusingly who in turn held up his hands in surrender.
“Don’t look at me. I can’t do that sort of shit.” Mike said defensively with his hands still raised.
“It was me. I killed her.” Megumi said in a small voice but defiant voice which earned her a look from both Mike and the still unnamed man that seemed to say ‘how?’ Megumi sighed before answering “Dyclonius have what scientists call vectors. Vectors are sort of invisible arms and hands that can have varying degrees of strength and length and can vibrate at high frequencies to allow them to cut through pretty much anything. Mine are 1.5 meters long and can lift 200 pounds each.” Megumi winced as she finished and waited for the two before her to start laughing but instead she felt a muscular arm around her shoulders. She looked up at Mike who smiled warmly.
“This may surprise you but that’s not the craziest thing I’ve heard. Hell, that’s not even the craziest thing I’ve seen.” He said trying to comfort her but a look of realization crossed his face as he looked back to where the white haired man stood.
“So who are you and how the hell’d you get here?”
“You know, it’s rude to ask someone’s name without giving yours first.” The red-clad man said with a smirk.
“Right, well I’m Mike and this is Megumi. Uh, thanks for saving her.” Mike said placing a hand on the back of his neck.
“I’m Dante.” The stranger said holding out his hand for a handshake. Then for the second time today Mike heard a slow clapping come from behind him. They all turned to see an elderly man, the same elderly man that had appeared before Mike earlier.
“It seems an unexpected player has joined the game.” He said glancing towards Dante before continuing “No matter. You three will be off to meet your final…friend.” and with that the old man snapped his fingers. Just like before Mike’s vision faded into darkness but this time Megumi’s and Dante’s did as well and they all collapsed.

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Dante was the first to regain consciousness and upon waking took in his surroundings, a barren, dimly lit concrete room. First he noticed Mike and Megumi laying not five feet from him, next he noticed four corpses strewn around the concrete room that appeared to be dressed as somewhat futuristic soldiers. Then he promptly took to waking his new associates. Despite his best efforts Megumi only rolled over and asked for five more minutes but fortunately while Dante attempted to wake her Mike roused himself.
“Where are we now?” he asked trying to shake himself back into full consciousness.
“Dunno. Maybe the soldier boys over there can give us a clue.” Dante responded, pointing to the corpses. The two walked over to inspect them and Mike took notice of what appeared to be a gun lying on the ground. He picked up and delicately looked it over before accidentally discharging a round. It fired a solid red laser that destroyed the head of one of the corpses.
“Heh heh, whoops.” Mike said slightly embarrassed. Dante only shook his head then continued inspecting the body he was crouched beside.
“These wounds were made by very crude weapons. I wonder if demons were involved” Dante said standing up from the body.
“So this world has weird spacemen and demons? Great, just great.” Mike said giving an exasperated sigh. They heard slight groans from behind them and turned to see Megumi finally coming to. She sat up and rested her head in her hand before looking up to the two men she had just “traveled” with.
“Mike? What’s going on?” she asked feeling as though she’d suffered a slight concussion. Mike offered her a hand and helped her on to her feet before answering.
“Well, we’re in a different world that apparently contains space men and according to Dante here possibly ax wielding demons.” Mike said in his usual comical way.
“Seriously?” Megumi asked with an unusually serious tone. With all that just happened she wasn’t really in the mood for jokes.
“More or less.” Dante responded whimsically.
“I guess we should get moving.” Mike said discarding the laser gun he’d accidentally shot off.
“But we don’t have any idea where we are.” Megumi argued.
“Then we’ll call it exploring.” Dante gave her a smirk then walked out the door. Mike and Megumi looked at each other then followed after him. They exited into a hallway with one of the two corridors caved in.
“Looks like we only have one way to go.” Megumi said then looked down the open passage. The trio walked slowly, trying to work out what happened as they moved forward but with no luck. All they learned was what they already knew but Megumi suddenly looked at Dante as she remembered something. “Hey Dante”
“Yeah?” Dante asked turning to face her.
“You never told us how you ended up in Japan.”
“Honestly I don’t know.” he responded. “One moment I was in hell the next I woke up in that motel you guys were outside of.”
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, hold the phone” Mike cut in “Why were you were in hell?”
“It’s…uh…it’s a long story.” Dante replied as the turned a corner. As soon as the turned the corner they all noticed a light, an exit, roughly 50 yards away. Dante, Mike, and Megumi all looked at each other then ran towards it. As they got closer to the exit they heard voices shouting and the sound of battle. They exited the corridor to find a somewhat peculiar sight. Five large, armoured figures embroiled in a four on one brawl. These figures all stood well over seven feet tall and were all a great deal wider than normal humans. The armour of the four were black with one red pauldron adorned with horns, spikes, skins and other miscellaneous horrors while the armour of the one was mainly ultramarine blue with gold details. Here’s a picture.

Two of the black armoured figures were armed with large two-handed mace’s while the other two and the blue one were armed with swords that seemed to be emitting blue energy from the blades. When our intrepid trio exited the corridor the black armoured figures stopped attacking and noticed them followed by the blue who had turned to see what his enemies were distracted by. Upon seeing them he yelled out.
“Run! You fools, run!” but much to his chagrin two of them, Mike and Dante to be precise, charged the group. Dante pulled away the attention of one wielding a sword while Mike caught the interest of one toting a two-handed mace. Megumi, realizing she was late on the draw ran forward and took the final enemy wielding one of the two handed maces, leaving the blue-armoured man to fight sword on sword with one opponent. “These Chaos Marines are not to be trifled with! Leave at once!” he once more yelled at Mike, Dante, and Megumi but they paid him no heed. Mike waited for the Chaos Marine to swing and once he did Mike used his magnetic powers to control the mace. It wrenched itself out of the Chaos Marine’s hands and into Mike’s who continued with the momentum of the swing, guiding it gracelessly into his legs, tripping him. As the Chaos Marine fell on his back Mike quickly spun around to face him, raised the mace over his head and swung down with all the force he could using his magnetic powers to control the mace. With one fatal strike the Chaos Marine’s armour and chest were caved in. Mike left the mace stuck in the fresh body and turned to see how his comrades were fairing. Megumi was continually forced back by the swings of the Chaos Marine, using her vectors to deflect the strikes of his mace, though just barely. In between his strikes she attempted cutting him apart with her vectors but much to her surprise they had little effect. Suddenly Megumi’s eyes lit up as she had an idea. She stopped retreating and waited for the next strike. As it came she jumped back just out of the mace’s reach then used all her strength to push it and force the Chaos Marine to continue his swing, knocking him off balance. Megumi took this opportunity and grabbed his head with two of her vectors while her other two were placed on his shoulders. In one swift move she used the combined strength of her four vectors to rip the Chaos Marine’s head clean of his shoulders and the headless body tumbled down into the dirt. Dante launched himself into the air as his opponent swung, drawing Ebony and Ivory as he sailed through the air in an arc. Landing behind the Chaos Marine Dante shot him several dozen times but it did little to stop the seven and a half foot living tank. He merely shrugged it off and charged Dante once more, exclaiming something about avenging some Nemeroth guy. Dante responded by launching himself forwards and thrusting Rebellion into his adversary’s chest but his sword did little more than scratch the Chaos Marine's armour. He then quickly jumped back to avoid getting cut in half by his enemy’s blade.
“What? Too chicken to show your face?” Dante yelled to his already enraged opponent. In a fit of anger the Chaos Marine took off his helmet and tossed to the ground. “There ya go, ugly” Dante said under his breath as he drew Ebony and Ivory and fired half a dozen bullets into the unprotected Chaos Marine’s head, destroying it. As the headless body crumpled to the ground he smirked and holstered his twin pistols before turning to see his comrades had dealt with their adversaries as well. The stranger who had told them to flee had just impaled his foe with his sword then brought it skywards, cutting the Chaos marine in half from his stomach up. The nearly halved body fell and the blue armoured figure signalled for the three to come to him as he sheathed his sword. When they did he turned to them and removed his helmet revealing himself. He had short black hair, a full beard and eyes the same colour as his armour.
“My thanks strangers, I might have met my end had you not arrived. I am Mathias Grek, Space Marine sergeant of the Ultramarines Chapter, second company.” The Space Marine said giving a slight bow then drew a large pistol and aimed it at Mike’s head. “Now then, how have you come into possession of such powers? Have you been tainted by the warp?” Mike held his hands up to show he wasn’t hostile.
“No, I was just born with them.” He responded, still holding up his hands.
“It’s true.” They all heard a voice say from the corridor Mike, Megumi, and Dante had exited. They turned to see the same elderly man from before, still clothed in his three piece suit. “His powers didn’t come from the warp. He’s not even from this word, neither are his friends. Now then, off with you.” Before any of them could react all four fell to the ground and lost consciousness.

New surroundings

The group of four woke to find themselves next to a river in an extremely dense forest, much to their displeasure.
“That guy’s starting to piss me off!” Mike exclaimed as he began dusting himself off.
“You know him?” Mathias questioned, turning towards the angering mutant.
“Nah, but this is the third time today he’s fucking knocked me out.” Mike sighed, trying to regain his composure. “So anyways, do we have any idea where we are now?” he asked but the others merely shook their heads. Mike opened his mouth to say something else but Mathias held up his hand to signal for silence. The others looked around and tried to see why he silenced them. After several minutes Mike couldn’t stand the tension and whispered “What is it?” but his answer came shortly. He felt the ground shake slightly in a rhythmic pulse, the pulse of footsteps, footsteps of a very large creature. It was getting closer, possibly attracted by Mike’s earlier outburst and it probably was not friendly.
“Alright!” Dante exclaimed excitedly “Finally some action!” They all readied themselves for the possible fight but were unprepared for the creature they saw next, a fifty-five foot cosmic bear broke through the treeline with a ravenous look in its eye.
“An Ursa Major? But that means-” Megumi began to say but was cut off as Mike laughed somewhat maniacally and charged the great blue beast. He leapt into the air, ready to strike but before he could the bear swatted him with one massive paw and sent him rocketing into the distance. Mike flew a good distance, and at the height of his arc he could tell where he was going to land, a colourful little town but before he could make out anything else he plummeted to the earth, landing hard on the unforgiving dirt with a sickening crunch. His vision was hazy from the impact and despite his rough landing he couldn’t feel any pain. He looked at his right arm and saw his forearm was bent with a broken bone protruding from it. Due to the lack of pain he decided he was either dreaming or in shock and when pastel coloured ponies started approaching him quietly whispering to each other he decided on the former before slipping into unconsciousness.
Back in the forest Dante pulled Rebellion off his back and pointed it towards the bear.
“So Smokey, you gonna leave or do we have to kick your ass first?” he asked but in reply it lashed out with its right paw. Dante was ready and simply flipped over the attack while Mathias darted forwards and used the attack as an opening to launch his own, completely severing the bear’s left front paw with his sword. It let out a howl of pain that could be heard for miles around and tried to balance on its three remaining legs but unfortunately for it Mathias quickly cut off its remaining left paw and it fell to it’s side. “Don’t say I didn’t warn ya.” Dante said as he jumped into the air and brought his blade down upon the bear’s neck in his Helm Breaker move, decapitating it. Megumi stood by, still stunned by what the appearance of the bear meant.
“You knew what that was.” Mathias said as walked back around the dead beast towards her, snapping her out of her stupor and she looked to him then at her feet, not wanting to meet his armoured gaze.
“Um, well…yeah.” she responded softly keeping her eyes lowered.
“Well” Dante said placing Rebellion on his back “You mind sharing with the rest of us?”
“It was an Ursa Major.” Megumi replied, hardly believing what had just transpired. “It’s from a TV show.” Suddenly she looked up at the two men with a worried expression “Wait, what about Mike?” this caught Dante and Mathias by surprise, they had completely forgotten about him.
“I suppose we should go collect our colleague.” Mathias said then pointed off in what seemed like a random direction. “He’s that way.”
“How can ya tell?” Dante questioned but Mathias had already begun walking in the direction he indicated.
“My suit is tracking his bio-signature.” He replied as though that would explain everything and motioned for the two to follow him. With no other hope of navigating the forest Dante and Megumi reluctantly followed.
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Twilight heard a commotion outside the while she and Spike were reorganizing books in their library/home but paid no heed. She had scheduled to reorganize the books today and by Celestia that was what she was going to do. Or at least that was what she was going to do until Pinkie burst through the door speaking to quickly and incoherently to be understood.
“Slow down Pinkie. What happened?” Twilight said trying to get the pink, crazy-maned mare calm enough to speak in understandable sentences.
“There’s an alien outside and it looks really hurt because it fell from high up in the sky and now it has broken bones and cuts and needs help now come on!” Pinkie exclaimed in one breath then ran out the door with impossible speed. Twilight sighed and looked at Spike who returned the look.
“Guess we should see what Pinkie’s talking about.” She said and proceeded out the door with Spike following close behind. They quickly found the source of the commotion, a crowd of ponies gathered around something lying on the ground. Twilight wiggled her way through the crowd to find a bipedal creature clothed oddly, lacking any fur aside from its mane. It seemed to be unconscious and looked injured.
“It’s a human!” she heard a mare behind her scream. Twilight turned to see Lyra shrieking with joy then slight horror when she realized the human was hurt. Nurse Red Heart slowly made a passage through the crowd and asked Twilight to help her get the human to hospital so she could treat his wounds. A lavender aura surrounded the human and Twilight slowly levitated it to the hospital, careful to cradle the injured limb and sent Spike to fetch some paper and a quill. With the human gone the crowd dispersed, returning to their daily lives, sure that Twilight or the mayor would give them an explanation in due time. After Twilight laid down the human on a metal operating table she was shooed out of the operating room and decided to wait outside.
“So is it true?” Twilight turned her head to see Rarity approaching “A human fell out of the sky?”
“I don’t know if he really fell out of the sky.” Twilight replied
“He?” Rarity asked.
“Just a guess.” Twilight shrugged and laughed a little.
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Mathias, Dante, and Megumi finally found their way out of the forest and now saw the colourful town Mike had landed in. They slowly approached, cautious of any more dangers they might face despite Megumi assuring them the locals were peaceful. Mathias, being a Space Marine and all, didn’t trust alien worlds, especially since every one he’d landed on has tried to kill him. They entered the town and the pony inhabitants all scurried off upon seeing them, which wasn’t really surprising given the size of the armoured Space Marine.
“Jeez, what’s with these things?” Dante asked aloud in response to the ponies all turning tail at the sight of them. “You’d think they’ve never seen people before.”
“They haven’t. The ponies of Equestria have never seen humans before, they thought we’re a myth.” Megumi answered shyly.
“All myths come from somewhere.” Mathias said as he scanned their surroundings. “Out comrade is just up here.” he said pointing to a building that resembled a hospital. In front of it were two ponies, one lavender with a dark purple mane that had a lighter purple and a pink stripe running through it while the other was white with a, styled purple tail and mane. Unlike the other ponies they didn’t run, having not even noticed the odd trio getting ever closer.
“You there, pony.” Mathias called to them, they turned and upon seeing the imposing armoured figure mere feet from them the white one fainted.
“Rarity!” the lavender pony cried, trying to shake her friend back into consciousness and Mathias stood over them, inspecting the fallen pony. Moments later a rainbow blur crashed into the chest of Mathias who was completely unfazed by the attack.
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Twilight was try to shake Rarity back to her senses when she noticed they were completely engulfed by shadows, she looked up to find the massive metal being that had called to her standing over them. The metal creature was quite literally twice her size. It made no aggressive moves but the sword at its side didn’t look like it was just for display. Before she could think she saw Rainbow Dash fly into the massive being with all her might… and bounce off harmlessly. She got up slowly and nearly fell back down, dazed from the impact but determined to protect her friends. Dash jumped up and kicked the being’s head with all her might but it didn’t even flinch and she nearly broke her own leg in the process. Landing gracelessly next to Twilight she held her pained leg, trying to figure out how to stop the metal monster from hurting Twilight.
“Wait!” they saw a pink-maned human step out from behind the metal thing then she spoke again “We don’t want to hurt you. We’re just looking for our friend.” Rainbow dash noticed the human girl’s sweater mimicked her mane and fur.
“Then why did this thing try to hurt Twilight!” Dash exclaimed pointing a hoof at the metal being accusingly.
“I didn’t.” It responded with a male voice. Twilight stepped in to be the voice of reason.
“Wait, is your friend the human the one that fell from the sky?” she asked now more curious than afraid of the metal man. A white-maned human in red clothes wandered up next to the other two and answered.
“Well actually he got swatted by a giant cosmic bear, guess he really flew.” he said then whistled.
“A giant cosmic bear? You don’t mean-” Twilight began.
“An Ursa Major, yeah.” The pink-mane girl finished.
“But then he flew from the Ever free forest.” Twilight stated and the girl nodded.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa, you guys took on an Ursa Major?” Rainbow Dash cut in.
“Yep, kicked its ass too.” The white-maned human said, resting his …hooves? behind his head. Then Spike returned carrying paper, quills, and ink but dropped it all when he saw the group in front of the hospital.
“What happened to Rarity?” he shouted as he raced over to her side.
“It’s alright, Spike” Twilight comforted the baby dragon “she just fainted.” Then they could hear shouting coming from inside the hospital. It was nurse Red Heart telling somepony to lay down. The door opened and they saw the human who had been admitted to the hospital roughly twenty minutes ago step out with his right arm in a cast and bandages all around his body and head.
“Look lady…pony…ma’am” he said with an irritated tone “I’m fine and I’ve been through worse.” He then turned to see the odd group and smirked “Sup?” He was greeted by a hug from the girl and groaned in pain. “Easy there, I got tenderized by a giant bear, remember?” he said with agony clinging to his words.
“Oh, sorry.” The girl replied, clearly embarrassed and backed away blushing. While this was happening Twilight quickly wrote a letter to Princess Celestia and had Spike send it off. Suddenly there was a pink blur and before them stood Pinkie.
“Oh, more humans? Yay, more means bigger parties!” she exclaimed bouncing up and down excitedly. Spike then burped out a scroll and Twilight levitated it to her face to read.
“Where the hell did you come from?” the injured human asked, shocked at the bouncing pony’s appearance from seemingly nowhere.
“I left to get party stuff.” She said giddily, still bouncing.
“I’m afraid that will have to wait Pinkie.” Twilight said with a small sigh “Princess Celestia wants the elements to escort these humans to Canterlot.” Rarity was begging to regain consciousness and looked around.
“Oh I had the worst dream there was this metal monster and…”her voice trailed off as she noticed the humans. “It wasn’t a dream?” the humans shook their heads.
“Anyways” Twilight cut in, wanting to keep them on track “Rainbow Dash, can you go get Applejack and Fluttershy then bring them to the train station?”
“On it!” she exclaimed and took off leaving behind a rainbow streak.
“Now if the rest of you will just follow me” Twilight said as she began trotting towards the train station. The humans glanced to one another then shrugged and followed her.
Fifteen minutes later at the train station…
“So now that everypony’s here I guess we should introduce ourselves.” Twilight said then held a hoof to her chest. “I’m Twilight Sparkle.”
“I’m Rainbow Dash, fastest flyer in Equestria!” Dash exclaimed, puffing out her chest.
“Ooh, ooh, ooh, me next! I’m Pinkie Pie, I’m sure we’ll be the bestest of friends.” Pinkie said with her unfaltering, joy filled smile.
“Rarity, charmed.” Rarity said in her usual graceful manner.
“An ahm Applejack, pleased ta meet ya.” Applejack said with humility that seemed to offset Rainbow Dash’s audacious nature. “And the shy mare here” she said pulling Fluttershy up in front of her “is Fluttershy.” The injured human stepped forward to introduce himself and Fluttershy zipped back behind her friends.
“I’m Mike Winters, at your service.” He said and took a slight bow, then winced at the pain it caused him. Next the white-maned human with the red coat stepped forward.
“Dante, demon hunter extraordinaire.” he proclaimed with confidence that bordered on arrogance. Next the metal giant removed his helmet revealing himself to be merely wearing armour and not be made of metal as some of the ponies had thought.
“Mathias Grek, Space Marine sergeant of the Ultramarines chapter, second company.” He said in a very formal way. Lastly the girl gave her name.
“I’m Megumi Miharu, it’s…uh…nice to meet you.” she said with poorly hidden excitement. Twilight had so many questions but she knew they would have to wait, at least for a little while. The train pulled into the station and Twilight couldn’t help but laugh at the expressions of the humans when they saw it. Despite their initial reluctance (except for Megumi who was ecstatic for the trip) the humans boarded and much to the amusement of everyone and everypony else Mathias had to nearly crawl onto the train due to his enormous size and bulk. Twilight noted the mannerisms of the humans as each of them picked their seats and sat in different positions, Dante lying down across one seat while Mike followed Megumi who sat next Twilight herself while he sat across from them and Mathias opted for the most secluded corner, presumably wanting to be left to his thoughts. However he didn’t get that option as Rainbow Dash felt the need to prove herself to be greater than him after their first encounter.
“I bet you think you’re pretty tough, huh.” she said as she sat across from him.
“I am a member of the Space Marines, mankind’s greatest defenders.” He responded looking out the window as the train began moving “Were my battle brothers and I not great warriors we would have fallen long ago.”
“Pfft, no need to be so over-dramatic.” she said waving off his incredibly serious tone.
“Believe me when I tell you my world and the life I live would haunt you for the rest of your mortal life.” he said causing such a feeling of dread that even Dash with all her bravado shied away from him and took a seat beside Mike.
“So Rainbows” Mike said turning to Dash with a mischievous smile on his face “enjoy your talk with the Tin-man?”

A Trip to Canterlot

The train arrived in Canterlot and waiting to help escort our intrepid heroes was a squad of royal guards clad in gold armour with chariots attached to pegasi ready to take them to the princesses. The look on their faces when they saw Mathias was priceless, complete shock and awe at the massive, armoured figure before them. They mounted the chariots and the humans, aside from Megumi (having watched My Little Pony) were completely stunned when the chariots took off into the sky (and Mike would have fallen off had he not had his magnetic powers to keep him attached to the golden chariot). The trip took mere minutes thanks to the whole flying chariot thing, though how they supported the 1000+ pounds of Mathias Grek is anyone’s guess. Arriving at the castle shorty the group was led inside and after quickly navigating the maze of corridors they came to a set of large, ornately decorated double doors. As they prepared to enter one of the guards stopped them, he was an earth pony with white fur and a black mane. He was also holding a spear to Mike’s neck.
“Halt, you will not take weapons in when you see the princesses.” The guard stated through clenched teeth that were holding his spear.
“Not sure you’ve noticed” Mike began, placing a finger on the tip of the spear and gently directing it away from his flesh “but I don’t have any weapons, unless you count the broken bone in my arm.”
“But your friends do.” the guard said with impatience.
“Aye, that we do” Mathias said, leaning down so the piercing red eyes of his helm were staring directly into the guard’s. “but what if we choose not to relinquish them, xenos?” sweat was pouring down the guard’s face as he averted his eyes from Mathias’s gaze.
“Th-then we w-will take them b-by force.” he stuttered. To the guard’s credit he at least didn’t run from the Space Marine. Fortunately before the little conflict could escalate the doors opened behind him and they heard a rather motherly voice speak.
“It’s alright, Luna and I are quite capable of taking care of ourselves. Let them pass.” it said and the guard, with a begrudging look in his eye, complied. The group of ten entered the throne room and saw, well, the princesses and beautiful stained-glass windows, the largest of which was situated behind the two alicorns sitting at the far end of the room. Once the group was closer the ponies and Megumi bowed while Dante, Mike, and Mathias looked at them questioningly. “Greetings my little ponies and…er…strangers. I am Princess Celestia and this” she said motioning a hoof towards the other alicorn “is my sister, Princess Luna.” Luna gave a slight nod and a smile that seemed less forced than Celestia’s.
“So then, you’re the humans that slew an Ursa Major then caused the commotion in Ponyville?” Luna asked in an almost rhetorical tone.
“Wait, you KILLED an Ursa Major?!” Twilight exclaimed in a horrified voice.
“Well, yeah but it would’ve killed us if we didn’t. You did see what happened to Mike right?” Dante explained and motioned to the still battered mutant who was trying desperately to resist his urge to run up and grab Luna’s magically flowing mane. Mike finally got a hold of himself and joined the conversation.
“Can we move on to the part where someone starts explaining what in the hell’s going on?” he asked, wanting to figure out why that damned old man sent them here.
“Okay, why don’t you start by explaining how you got here?” Celestia said, hoping the humans would have answers for her as well. They explained everything that you presumably read in chapter one and at the end, Luna asked the question I bet all you readers are asking yourselves.
“Who is this old man that kept appearing?” she asked but was met with looks from the humans that told her they didn’t know either, except for Mike who looked to be in unusually deep thought.
“I have an idea” he said tapping his chin with his left index finger “he could be Mephistopheles.” But the ponies merely looked to one another then back at him with no idea who that is. Mike sighed then continued “You know, the devil, the guy in red with the pitchfork?” but the ponies still gave him a look of complete lack of understanding. Mike face-palmed then added “he’s basically the ultimate bad guy.” He really didn’t feel like explaining the entirety of the Judaeo-Christian religion so he decided to leave it at that.
“If that is who sent you here then I must take pre-cautions to be sure you want harm any ponies.” Celestia said sternly. “I will use my magic to look into your past and be sure you won’t harm any of my little ponies.” Mike just shrugged, he’d done a lot of terrible things in his past but he tried to start doing right by others. He also hoped his recent actions would be redeeming enough to save him from being labelled a threat.
“I won’t object but I think it’s only fair to warn you” Dante said walking closer to the princesses “I doubt you’re prepared to see some of the demons I’ve fought.” Celestia nodded then walked over to Dante and lowered her horn to his head. It began glowing and she could see everything that happened to him, which I doubt I have to explain and if I do then go play Devil May Cry. She stepped back with a warm smile.
“You fight evil and protect innocent lives, you won’t harm my subjects.” she said, giving Dante her final verdict. She then moved to Megumi and repeated what she had done with Dante. Celestia saw Megumi’s life, the life of a Dyclonius, being locked in some god forsaken lab, enduring inhuman tests. Then she saw Megumi escape and live on the street, scrounging for food and the betrayal she felt from “friends”. Finally she saw that day she met Mike, how he had helped and stood by her despite barely knowing her. Celestia stepped back with tears in her eyes, unable to believe the cruelty of her world. “You’ve been through so much…” she began but stopped, unsure how to continue. Even during Discord’s rule Equestrians had not seen the kind of suffering Megumi had endured. “I insist you stay, child.” She said giving a motherly smile. Celestia next moved to Mike. She peered into his mind to find his troubling past. She saw him commit atrocities, murder and slaughter part of his daily routine. But just when she was about to come to a decision she saw his life drastically change. For a reason she could not see Mike’s life did a complete 180. He took on the roll of other heroes of his world, though still taking jobs as a mercenary. She saw him do something she would not have thought possible, turn what might be termed a bloodlust into a tool of justice. Celestia stepped away and pondered momentarily. She was unsure of what to do but then she saw Megumi look at her with those pink, tortured eyes and sighed. “You may stay.” Hearing this Mike did a mock jump for joy then hunched over in pain, clutching his injured ribs. Celestia rolled her eyes then moved on to Mathias but he held up his hand.
“You will not be using your power on me.” He stated flatly, friendly place or not he was a Space Marine.
“But…” she began but trailed off after making eye contact with him.
“I have an idea.” Megumi spoke up getting the attention of everyone/everypony in the room. “You can ask Mathias questions and Applejack can tell if he’s lying. Would you be willing to answer Princess Celestia’s questions?” she asked turning to Mathias. After a dreadful 5 minute pause he answered.
“Aye.”
“Hmmm, I suppose that could work. Applejack?” Celestia said turning to the farmpony.
“Ah don’t know if Ah can tell when a human’s lying though.” She said, with innocence.
“Then let’s test it.” Dante said then held up two fingers “I’ll say two things, one true, one false and we’ll see if you tell which is which.” he explained and Applejack nodded. He then placed his hand on his chin, contemplating what to say. “I have a brother named Vergil and I’m married.”
“You ain’ never been married and yall really do have a brother.” Applejack said with confidence.
“Ding, ding, ding, we have a winner.” Dante said with a smirk “Okay, he’s all yours.”
“Will you harm my little ponies?” Celestia asked in the sternest voice she could muster.
“They do not pose a threat to the Imperium so no.” Mathias answered simply. Celestia looked to Applejack who nodded, showing he was telling the truth. She readied her next question but before she could ask it a guard burst through the doors. She was gravely injured and panting.
“We are under attack! There’s a monster in Canterlot!” she exclaimed before coughing up blood. Mike turned to ask about this monster but the next thing he knew he was bombarded by shards of glass from the large stained glass window located behind the princesses as something burst through it. The monster was a red and black humanoid with a monstrous mouth.
“Carnage?!” Mike exclaimed in shock “Oh, fuck me.” Fortunately for everyone else Mathias charged forward and tackled it back out the window, down into a sort of town square and in doing so became the focus of his rage. The remainder of the group approached the window to see what was happening. Mathias drew his power sword and tried to cut his foe down but was unsuccessful as the blade and his bolter were knocked from his hands by whip-like tendrils and he was knocked back by a blow from Carnage’s hand which had morphed into a rather large hammer.
“Impossible” Mathias muttered to himself before he was grabbed by the head. Carnage planted Mathias into the ground head first then drove a clawed hand into the Space Marine’s backpack and tore it off.
“We have to help him!” Megumi exclaimed, pulling on Mike’s uninjured arm.
“Yeah, yeah, I’m working on it.” He responded with no particular rush in his voice and made his way out of the throne room. Dante, not one to stand idly by jumped down and attempted to strike Carnage with a helm breaker but the psycho caught his sword with one hand and laughed manically before throwing Dante into a large stone building with such force it crumbled down on top of him, entombing him in ruble. Next the ever brazen Rainbow Dash charged Carnage who merely swept her aside and into a lamp post where she fell to the ground. Rainbow Dash shakily stood up and once again charged towards the psychopathic villain who caught her in one clawed hand and smashed her into the ground where she lay unmoving. Carnage turned back to finish off his initial opponent but became distracted by a cry from a nearby filly. With a sadistic grin he approached the young pony who stood frozen in fear and raised a hand to strike her down. She let out a horrified scream as Carnage brought his hand down on her head and the remaining five of the main six could only close their eyes to avoid the sight of the young girl’s death. But her scream did not end abruptly as it would were she killed but instead it slowly died out as she ran out of breath. The main six opened their eyes to see Carnage’s hand stopped by the armoured hand of Mathias, preventing the death of the child.
“I swear by the Emperor you will harm no more innocents this day!”

Author's Notes:

Sorry about the long wait and short chapter, my computer is having issues. My keyboard as well. Making it a pain to type properly. Anyways, I hope the time till my next chapter is up won't be too long but alas technology sees to hate me.

Trial by Carnage

Carnage was struck by a powerful right hook from Mathias who followed up with a thunderous head-butt that forced Carnage to one knee. He lashed out at Mathias with numerous tendrils but in response Mathias grabbed the tendrils and pulled Carnage into a bone-crushing bear hug from which few could even hope to escape. In the throne room Megumi, the princesses, and the five still conscious elements of harmony watched this unfold.
“His strength has been renewed and his efforts redoubled.” Celestia quietly said almost to herself with disbelief evident in her voice.
“This sudden change…” Twilight began “what happened? Why has he suddenly become so…different?” she asked turning to her mentor but instead Luna answered.
“Mathias sees himself as a protector of innocent lives, human or otherwise. In threatening that filly’s life the beast ‘Carnage’ has awoken a sleeping giant and brought out in him a terrible fury.” Luna stated and Twilight nodded as she slowly began to understand that the living war machine Mathias Grek did indeed have a heart. Down in the battle Mathias turned Carnage upside down and delivered a ground shattering pile driver but it seemed to have little effect on the psycho as he kicked Mathias’s head with enough force to daze him. Carnage then flipped back onto his feet and charged the Space Marine, lifting him up then tossing him through a building and letting out a flow of maniacal laughter out as he did so.
“You can’t stop me, old man.” The psychotic Carnage said before laughing once more. “No one will ruin my fun!” Mathias burst from the ruined building and tackled Carnage to the ground. He then grabbed Carnage with his left hand while delivering numerous bone-breaking punches with his right. Megumi took full advantage of this, dropping down and running over to the filly to protect her from Carnage. After the sixth punch Carnage kicked Mathias in the stomach, sending him two stories straight up. Mid-air Mathias repositioned himself to land on Carnage but the symbiotic monster was ready and caught him by the foot and swinging him in an arc that ended in a ground shaking impact. Carnage grabbed both of the Space Marine’s legs and began spinning with incredible speed, laughing manically then released him and sent Mathias hurtling into another building which, like the last, collapsed on him. But as before Mathias burst from the rubble and lunged at Carnage who side-stepped the Space Marine and punched him down into the Earth with such devastating force that, as tough as he was, even Mathias was unable to stand once more. Carnage kicked Mathias into a third building then turned towards the palace and gave a bow, laughing madly all the time. The ponies and Megumi were unsure what to do. Mathias was a greater fighter than any of them and it seemed evident that Carnage couldn’t be hurt plus Mike had run off. Speaking of which, they heard footsteps echoing from down the hallway at a pace that clearly indicated whomever was making them was running. Moments later they saw Mike turn the corner and come into view and when he saw them he began making gestures with his hands for them to clear a path.
“Outta the way!” he shouted and the group complied then gasped as they saw glob of molten metal following Mike. He leapt out the smashed window with the molten glob in tow and rolled as he landed, barely avoiding further injuring his ribs. Mike slowly stood and raised a hand, ready to toss the molten metal at Carnage but of course things are never that easy. Just before Mike could attack a tendril whipped out from Carnage’s body and struck Mike across the chest, knocking him to the ground and forcing him to lose his grip on his magnetic powers, which in turn resulted in the glowing red hot glob of death falling to the ground, turning into a glowing puddle of death. Moments later Mathias exploded from the rubble of the building Carnage had thrown him into and readied himself to engage the maniac in another bout but shortly noticed the puddle of molten metal and what he assumed to be an unconscious Mike laying prone several feet from said puddle. Mathias slowly circled Carnage looking for an opening, all the while also keeping an eye on Mike. He stole glances at his Bolter Pistol which lay near Mike and his Power Sword which had stuck itself in the wall of the Royal Palace. Mathias examined his options carefully. He could jump straight back into combat with Carnage though his attacks seemed to have no effect on the creature and doing so could very possibly level the entire city. Or he could try to grab Mike and Dante then flee to safety…no that would place more innocents in danger. His final option was to attempt to regain possession of his weapons then fight Carnage, but his foe was extremely quick, putting too much space between them would endanger everyone else. While Mathias pondered what his best move would be he noticed Mike moving slightly out of the corner of his eye. Mike raised his head just enough so he could look Mathias in the eye and winked before motioning his head in Carnage’s direction. Mathias realized Mike was telling him to fight Carnage and assumed he had a plan but Luna had had enough, before Mike could enact his plan she fired the most powerful spell she knew at Carnage and smiled slightly at the ensuing explosion of shadowy energy but as the dust cleared, much to everypony’s surprise, stood in the centre of the fairly sizeable crater Luna created was Carnage, completely unfazed.
“Weeeeeeeak.” The psychopath said with a yawn before throwing five diamond hard shards of what seemed to be himself at the princess of the moon, all of which impaled themselves several inches deep in her chest, sending her to the floor in pain and agony. Celestia immediately ordered a group of guards to take her sister to the palace’s infirmary then turned to try her hoof at blasting away the monster but when she returned her gaze to the battle Carnage’s face was mere inches from her own, smiling cruelly with an axe raised, ready to strike her down. Celestia was frozen, she couldn’t breathe, or move, or even think. Her mind was blank aside from one thought “this is how I die”. But as quickly as she saw death come for her she saw it leave as Carnage was struck by Mathias’s Power Sword, which knocked him a good twenty feet away from her. Carnage landed on his feet perfectly and watched as the sword which had cost him his kill slowly descended until it was held by Mike who had by now gotten to his feet.
“Hey, tin man. Before you go getting yourself into another brawl with Carnage you might want this.” Mike said before tossing the Power Sword to its owner. As soon as he caught it, Mathias’ Power Sword was once more emanating the blue energy all Power weapons are known for and the Space Marine charged his foe, determined to end the battle. Mathias dashed forward and brought his Power Sword down in a deadly arc, forcing Carnage to roll to his right, positioning himself between Mike and the Space Marine who currently had the entirety of his attention. Mathias locked eyes with Mike and he could see the gears turning in his injured comrade’s head, a plan quickly forming. Mike made a slight motion his left hand to signal Mathias to force Carnage closer and the Space Marine nodded slightly. Without warning he charged forwards and swung his Power Sword in a large horizontal arc which Carnage jumped back to avoid. Just as he landed Carnage was grabbed from behind by Mike who wrapped his arms around his psychotic opponent’s waist then lifted him up and arched backwards, delivered a German suplex that left Mike on his back and Carnage mere inches from the puddle of molten metal. Mike quickly followed up by rolling on to his stomach and extending a hand, reassuming his magnetic control over the glowing, liquid metal and as Carnage got up he turned to see the molten metal encompassing his body. The white-hot glowing metal engulfed the monstrous form of Carnage and he let out blood curdling shrieks of pain that would haunt anyone in their sleep. After five minutes of shrieking both the symbiot and its host finally died, leaving only a burnt corpse behind. Moments later the rubble that had entombed Dante began shifting and after several minutes the demon hunter forced his way out.
“Oh man, I missed one hell of a party.” Dante said after looking round then walked over to the remains of Carnage. Megumi joined the three men just as the five elements of harmony teleported down to them , visibly shaken by what had just transpired. Mike turned to greet them but was met by numerous gasps.
“What?” Mike questioned as he looked at each pony’s face.
“You’re bleeding...a lot.” Twilight answered somewhat shaken by the sight of Mike who began to look himself over. The front of his shirt was almost entirely covered by blood from a long gash across his chest, a wound inflicted when Carnage struck him he assumed. He also noticed his jacket was nearly shredded, cut up by shards of glass when Carnage has burst through the window. Mike removed his jacket and tore off his shirt to inspect his wounds and upon the sight of the gash Rarity fainted.
“Guess I’d better go get myself patched up.” Mike said as he turned to leave but stopped as he walked past Rainbow Dash’s unconscious body. “Maybe I should have our brazen friend here looked at too.” He said before picking up the rainbow-maned pegasus and carrying her to the infirmary, leaving the rest to watch him take his exit.
“So…what do we do now?” Dante asked as the group began looking to one another.
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Mike decided first he should find a guard, otherwise he’d be wandering around the palace for hours before finding the infirmary. Fortunately guards are always standing at the Palace’s entrance so he didn’t have to venture out of his way to find one. The two guards at the entrance stiffened upon seeing the bloodied Mike walking up to them with an unconscious pony in his arms.
“No time for jokes, just take me to the infirmary.” Mike said as he quickly closed the distance between himself and the guards but they only gave him blank stares, probably due to their unfamiliarity with battle and wounds the likes of which Mike currently bore. “NOW!” Mike shouted, forcing the guards out of their stupor.
“Yes, right away.” They replied in unison before leading Mike to his destination. Upon opening the door Mike nearly bumped in Princess Celestia who was watching over her sister as she recuperated.
“So, how’s she doing?” he asked as he slipped past the sun goddess and placed Rainbow Dash on an examination table.
“She’s stabilized.” Celestia answered quietly with tones of regret permeating her voice.
“Uh oh.” Mike responded as he took a seat on the infirmary bed nearest the examination table. “I know that voice.” He continued and got a questioning look from Celestia. “That’s the voice of someone who blames herself for what happened.”
“But it is my fault.” Celestia said as she lowered her head “I should have-“
“Done what exactly?” Mike cut her off “You’ve never seen Carnage before and couldn’t have any idea what he was capable of.”
“I should have-“ Celestia began but once again Mike cut her off.
“I’ve seen Carnage fight some of the most powerful gods in my universe, all of whom are extremely well versed in battle. Now if this world’s as peaceful as I’ve been led to believe then you have rarely fought anyone, let alone someone as strong as Carnage.” he explained though it didn’t seem to help much. The only doctor in the infirmary approached Mike to look him over but he shook his and pointed to Rainbow Dash “Check her first.” The doctor complied walking over to the unconscious pegasus and began a number of tests. Mike watched for a few moments before noticing Celestia giving him a slight smile.
“You’re more generous than you let on.” She said with a smile more wholesome than the one she initially gave the humans.
“Nah, I’m just trying to build good will is all.” Mike said, laughing slightly at his own stupid joke before the doctor approached him with a sad look in his eyes.

Author's Notes:

Still having issues with my computer but working on anyways.
And slight cliffhanger because I'm cruel like that.

A Monkey's Uncle

Mike was worried by the sad look from the doctor and his worries were only compounded when he noticed Celestia also wore a worried expression.
“Rainbow Dash will be fine.” The doctor stated which earned a sigh of relief from the princess but Mike hadn’t paid quite close enough attention.
“Oh the cruel fates-” the mutant mercenary began, throwing up his arms in a dramatic fashion but stopped short, looking at the doctor “Wait, what?”
“Yes, she’ll be fine. She suffered some bruising and has a nasty bump on her head but she’ll be fine.” He responded, though his sad look had not yet left his face.
“But why the hell do you look so sad?” Mike asked as he pointed a semi-accusing finger at the doctor.
“My marefriend broke up with me yesterday.” He answered indignantly, receiving only a blank stare from Mike until his mind processed that a marefriend was the pony equivalent of a girlfriend.
“Sorry to hear that, mate.” He responded caught somewhere between relief and annoyance but before he could continue in any manner Mike noticed his vision slowly growing hazier by the minute. “I may have lost a lot of blood, stitch me up already.” he stated with his voice trailing off as he slowly lost consciousness.
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“So, what do we do now?” Dante asked the group after Mike had departed and Rarity had recovered from her overly dramatic faint.
“I guess we should look around for anyone that got hurt.” Megumi answered, receiving a general nod of approval from the rest of the group.
“Alright, we shall split into three teams.” Mathias ordered but before had the chance to explain he was interrupted by one intellectual unicorn.
“Wouldn’t we be able to cover more ground alone?” Twilight asked, weary of the large, armoured man.
“Aye, but what number of the populace would not run upon the sight of unknown creatures?” he asked somewhat rhetorically. Twilight opened her mouth to respond but decided against it. She thought it best to not waste time with pointless conversation when ponies’ lives could be on the line. Mathias was about to split the group up but was interrupted once more, this time by a guard pony running towards them.
“We need your help!” he exclaimed, panting as though he’d just run a marathon. “We got almost everypony to safety but there’s a group of fillies trapped in a house that’s ready to collapse!”
“Well what are we waiting for?” Dante asked before taking off down the street the guard had come from.
“Always on the move.” Mathias sighed before following after his comrade with Megumi picking up Mike’s jacket and following after him with the ponies in tow. After a short six minute trek the group laid eyes upon the damaged stone structure. It was a large two story building that resembled the kind you might find in medieval times.
“About time you guys showed up.” Dante smirked from atop the building across from their destination but let a worried expression show momentarily when he heard the cries for help from the fillies in the house as part of the roof gave way before recomposing his calm, cool exterior.
“We have to help them!” Megumi exclaimed running forward before Mathias caught her arm.
“Hold, young one.” He said calmly, preventing her from freeing the fillies.
“But-“ she began before Mathias held up a finger for silence.
“The wrong move could bury them under a tonne of rubble. We must approach this situation carefully.” He explained and Megumi, gritting her teeth, nodded in compliance. As she stopped struggling Mathias released her and cautiously made his way over to the destroyed building. “How many of you are in there?” he asked the trapped fillies but their only response was fearful whimpering, which Mathias supposed was a natural reaction to this kind of situation.
“There’s five of them.” The guard pony who had originally informed the group of this situation replied. Mathias nodded and began formulating a plan. Saving small children from collapsing buildings usually wasn’t in his job description so he had only his basic knowledge of architecture at his disposal, but with such limited knowledge of this old fashioned design of building he was at a loss until upon closer inspection an idea dawned on him.
“I’m going to cut down part of this wall.” He stated simply but Twilight, having read a number of books on architecture, saw the apparent flaw in his plan.
“But if that’s a load bearing wall you’ll bring the whole house down!” she exclaimed worried at this seemingly reckless idea.
“It is a load bearing wall, but it’s damaged.” Mathias explained pointing to several cracks at the wall’s base. “I shall cut down the wall and be its replacement. That should buy enough time for the younglings to escape.” Finished explaining Mathias drew his power sword and in rapid succession cut a large triangle out of the wall, kicked it in, then replaced it with his own body as a support. The Space Marine’s plan seemed to have worked for the moment and three terrified fillies ran out from between his legs crying. Mathias let out a sigh of relief but stopped short. “Three? Where are the other two?”
One filly, a dark green earth pony mare with an emerald green mane and tail answered “Gemstone and Sweet Tooth are trapped under wood and stuff.” She said between sniffles. Megumi noticed that another wall was about to buckle under the weight of the roof and ran to it, holding the wall in place with her vectors.
“Someone do something!” Megumi shouted, struggling under the weight of the wall. Wasting no further time Twilight teleported into the crumbling house to rescue the fillies, finding them trapped under piles of debris. She began using her telekinesis-like magic to lift the debris off one of the fillies when a strut holding up the second floor began to give way. Twilight let out a small scream before Dante slid under Mathias’ legs and into the house then braced himself to hold up the strut and effectively the second floor. Twilight stole a glance at the demon hunter before freeing the fillies and teleporting them out. With the ponies safe Dante quickly slid out as the house collapsed in on itself.
He got up, dusting himself off before saying, with his ever-present grin “Well, that was fun.” Meanwhile Twilight was checking the fillies for injuries but gave a relieved sigh when she found nothing worse than a few bumps and scratches.
“You said you had evacuated all the other civilians, is that true?” Mathias asked as he approached the guard who had fetched them.
“Y-yes, these fillies were the only ones we had difficulty rescuing.” The guard replied, somewhat shaken by the size of the Space Marine now that he was no longer in a slight panic trying to save the fillies.
“If everypony’s safe we can check on Dash and that other fella.” Applejack stated, worried about her friend’s possible condition. That idea was quickly agreed upon by her friends and Megumi, whom raced off to the palace infirmary while Dante and Mathias only followed due to a lack of anything better to do.
Minutes later the entourage entered the medical room to find an unconscious Mike lying on a bed fully bandaged and a similarly unconscious Rainbow Dash on the bed to the right of Mike’s. Megumi set the mutant’s shredded aviator jacket down on a table but as she did so a small metal vial slipped out of one of the pockets. Curious, she picked it up and examined it, finding it had a cap with what appeared to be a grate on the top which she could only turn a quarter to the left, opening the grate just enough to allow vapours to escape. Having no other way to examine to contents of the vial she sniffed the grate, finding the stench of whatever it contained horrid.
“Gah, that stinks!” Megumi exclaimed as she pulled the vial away from her nose and almost gaging, earning a chuckle from Dante. Mathias removed his helmet and gently took the vial from Megumi, giving it a sniff.
“Hmm, it seems this vial contains chemicals that, when in contact with oxygen, produces a rancid smelling vapour which can bring anyone who smells it back to full consciousness.” He explained as he walked over to Mike and held the grated end of the vial to the unconscious man’s nose. Everyone/pony in the room watched with anticipation for fifteen seconds before Mike began to move. He slowly sat up, holding his head with his left hand.
“So that’s what it feels like to be woken up by that stuff.” He said as he rubbed his head and slowly got to his feet, stifling a yawn. “Should we wake her up too?” Mike asked, pointing a wavering finger at the cyan pegasus who lay still. He held it up to her and moments later the ever cocky Rainbow Dash was awake.
“Welcome back to the land of the living.” Mike greeted her as he screwed the cap of his vial shut and slipped it into his pocket.
“What happened?” Rainbow asked, her memory of recent events hazy.
“Basically” Mike began with an ever so slightly condescending tone “You rushed into a fight you had no chance of winning.”
“Oh yeah? Well I’m not the pony covered in bandages” Rainbow Dash retorted having heard Mike’s tone.
But the mutant only shrugged “And our large friend here fought Carnage the longest but has nary a scratch on him.” He said jerking a thumb at Mathias.
“About that.” The Space Marine interjected. “This ‘Carnage’, tell us what you know of it.”
“A symbiotic alien which in my universe we simply call a Symbiot bonded to Cletus Cassidy. It gave him the run of the mill super human attributes, you know, strength, agility, reflexes, and the ability to mold the Symbiot into different shapes plus the Symbiot is nearly indestructible by conventional means, it’s only weakness being very, very loud sounds and extreme heat. Oh, and it’s a mass murdering psychopath, but Cassidy was already one before bonding with the ‘Carnage’ Symbiot. ” Mike explained, stretching as he finished. “So should we with talk with Sunny now that we stopped the destruction of her kingdom?”
“I suppose that would be best.” Twilight answered, slightly shaken by the fact that Mike had so casually talked about a mass murderer like they were common, the other five element bearers however didn’t seem to notice and were happily chatting among themselves as they walked.
As they talked and followed Twilight Megumi walked up beside Mike “Here’s your coat” She said with a somewhat cheery smile as she handed him the shredded remains of his jacket.
“Well you’re in an awfully good mood.” Mike replied with a slight smile.
“We saved some fillies while you were getting bandaged.” She stated with a truly sincere smile.
“Ah, that would explain it.” Mike said but shortly noticed a curious look from Megumi accompanied by a ‘what?’. “Well, you played the hero. That has a way making people feel all warm and fuzzy inside.” He answered as he slipped on the remnants of his aviator jacket but as he did so an L shaped piece of metal tore through a ripped inner pocket, one he had custom made to holster a unique weapon. The weapon clattered to the ground, gaining the attention of the other 9 members of the group though only the ‘humans’ knew what it was. Mike held out his left hand and the object floated into his grasp while Twilight voiced her curiosity first.
“What is that?” She asked as she walked over to the mutant who still held the object.
“It’s a gun. A pistol to be more precise. And if you want the details it’s a custom 1911 pistol, copper plated with finely detailed engravings of the Celtic variety.” Mike answered with slight pride but continued when he saw Applejack open her mouth to speak. “Before you ask a gun is basically a weapon that fires projectiles at high velocity.”
“But you told that guard earlier you didn’t have any weapons!” Twilight half shouted, angry that anypony would lie about something so dangerous as a weapon.
“I’m a stranger in a foreign universe, what would you expect?” Mike inquired before adding “And besides, a smart merc never reveals all his tricks at once.”
“Whatever.” Twilight huffed “Let’s just go talk to the Princess and see what she thinks we should do with you.”
In the throne room there were numerous ponies sweeping up the glass from the window Carnage had shattered and Princess Celestia was talking with some unicorn colt who had a blue mane and white coat. Upon noticing the group both Celestia and the unicorn approached them.
“Ah yes and these are the humans that stopped the monster” Celestia said to the unicorn, who quietly scrutinized them before Celestia introduced him “And this is Shining Armour, my captain of the guard.”
“Hold up.” Dante cut in “All you Unicorns can use telepathy, right?”
“Telekinesis.” Mike corrected, glancing at Shining Armour and Twilight’s cutie marks.
“Right, anyway, why didn’t a bunch of the unicorn guards just prop up the collapsing building?”
“We were spread thin escorting all the civilians to safety, we number less than 100 total.” Shining Armour retorted though he didn’t seem sour about the fact that his guards had needed outside help.
“That makes sense.” Mike said before completely switching the topic for lack of caring where this one headed “So you and Twinkles are brother and sister, am I right?”
Twilight and her brother shared a shocked look before looking at Mike and asking simultaneously “How did you know?”
Mike shrugged before answering in his best Sherlock Holmes impression “Elementary my dear ponies. The marks on you hindquarters are quite similar. I recall my cohort mentioning cutie marks indicate your special gift which is designated before you even know what it is yourselves. In which case it is not unreasonable to make the assumption that cutie marks work in a way not unlike genetics in which case you would inherit some aspects from each parent and so your gifts would not be dissimilar either. And should that be the case it would then be a reasonable assumption that one of your parents was an intellectual of some sort while the other had some sort of military career.” He finished with a smug look and received shocked looks not only from Twilight and Shining Armour but the rest of the humans, the main six, and even Celestia.
“Yeah, our mom was a guard and our dad was a teacher.” Shining Armour said with disbelief.
Twilight merely shook her head and stuttered “Th- that was… wow.”
Mike revelled in their shock and awe and smirked “I’m not just a pretty face.”
“Wait a minute!” Pinkie exclaimed as she cartoonishly (yes, it’s a word, shut up) zipped in front of Mike “the Cakes are Earth ponies and have two babies, one’s a Unicorn and the other’s a Pegasus.”
Mike was now the one wearing a look of shock “Well I’ll be a monkey’s uncle.”

Author's Notes:

Sorry about the long wait. Computer issues, school, yadda yadda. So we see Mike can be slow at times but he can also be intelligent as well.