> lonely with you
>  by Neotheater
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> two little songbirds
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dusk had fallen on the city, and wildlife woke with a start. Crickets and cicadas and fireflies danced together under the darkening skyline, harmonizing with the rhythm of the night.

A party was brewing. Voices chanted and music thrummed through the bones of the house that nursed the chaos within it.

Fluttershy wrapped her arms around herself as she stared at the night sky above her. She exhaled, breathing out all her inner turmoil before swallowing it back down seconds later.

The summer air felt alive against her skin. Not sweltering, but welcoming, ushering her into the season. The mosquitos didn't dare hover, let alone bite. They knew better.

A bubbly voice filtered through a crack in the back door behind Fluttershy.

"KEG STAND! KEG STAND! KEG, STAAAAND!"

Despite her infectious hype, this was not a one hundred percent Pinkie Pie planned party. 

Bulk Biceps had taken up the arduous job of planning a CHS graduation party, on account of his newly gained inheritance. The party was both trashy and expensive, the best kind of fun.

Their entire graduating class had united under one roof at once to kick off summer—get drunk, throw up, and suck face as a final goodbye to this chapter of their lives.

It was a small school, and they were close like that. 

Bulk's unreasonably large house was the perfect environment to get fucked up in.

Her friends had been practically buzzing. Fluttershy would've been happier had she stayed home.

A cool breeze ran across Fluttershy's torso, reminding her of the crop top Rarity had convinced her to wear over FaceTime. She tugged at it, like it'd magically grow longer at her feeble whim.

She wondered how her friends had managed to rope her into this. She hated big parties.

Even Twilight was having more fun than her. Mostly on account of being a lightweight, which granted her the leeway to kiss Sunset Shimmer unashamedly, since sober Twilight was 'straight' and sober Sunset had the resolve to decline a makeout session that they'd both have to pretend they forgot. But still.

Rainbow Dash was just as much of a party-girl as Pinkie, six solo cups deep before Fluttershy had removed herself from their little pod. Rarity was happy that there was a socially acceptable reason to sit on AJ's lap and have hard cider poured down her throat, and a true party wasn't born until Pinkie arrived.

Fluttershy tucked a piece of hair behind her ear. She stared at her car, then her keys in her hand. The urge to bolt and leave her friends none the wiser was strong. But she wasn't an asshole like her brother, so she sat tight.

The screen door behind her squeaked and she flinched back, knocking over her half-drank cider.

"Oh shit, sorry," a deep voice called. "Didn't mean to scare you."

Flash Sentry stood before her, gangly and awkward. That wasn't to say much—Fluttershy was also gangly and awkward.

Fluttershy wasn't all that conversational, but cider loosened her slightly, and Flash wasn't exactly a threat.

"No, it's okay," she replied. "I'm kind of jumpy by default."

He nodded and took to the opposite end of the back porch, leaning against the railing across from the cooler she sat on.

"Not feeling the party?"

"I don't think I'm ever ‘feeling the party.'"

"Fair."

Flash procured a lighter from his jacket pocket, and then a cleanly rolled joint.

"You smoke?"

Flash lifted his head from his fingers. "Yeah. Problem?"

She shook her head. Her eyes never left him, though, even as he returned his attention back to the weed.

His first inhale was measured, like he'd done it before. Not enough times for him to not obviously fight a cough, but enough to know what he was doing.

His exhale is what proved it, though. The weight of the world crumbled off his shoulders, he slumped a little.

When Flash opened his eyes for his next hit, he noticed her stare. "D'you wanna..."

Fluttershy blinked. Her eyes darted to the door.

"WE'RE PLAYING SEVEN MINUTES!!!"

She nodded and reached for it.

Flash decided to relocate, sitting down on the cooler as well. He handed her the joint. 

Fluttershy wasn't a frequent smoker, but it wasn't her first rodeo.

Flash stared at her with the same level of curiosity she'd just given him moments prior. "Woah."

She exhaled, then turned to him. "What?"

"I didn't take you for a stoner, Fluttershy."

"My friend Treehugger and I smoke sometimes," she said, smiling nervously. "She's more into it than I am. And I could say the same for you."

He smiled back. "It's a somewhat new development."

She clicked her teeth and passed the joint back. 

They took turns for a few minutes before Flash Sentry broke the silence again.

"I don't like parties," he admitted. "Not like these. I get overstimulated."

Fluttershy toiled with that information. Flash looked like the exact kind of guy that this party would appeal to.

"I only came because I didn't wanna be the only one that stayed home."

"I guess we have that in common too."

Her turn on the joint. She couldn't tell if it was hitting or not, which probably meant that it was.

"Do you always smoke alone at parties?"

For whatever reason, this was hilarious to Flash. He barked a laugh. She giggled too, mirth filling her chest.

He had a really good smile. And a really sweet laugh.  It felt like a canary singing. There was a tonal quality to it that she was too high to pick apart.

"Not always," he said, finally. "And I'm not really alone right now, am I?"

"Good company, I hope." Exhale.

Their fingers brushed. 

"Definitely up there with the greats." Inhale.

A puzzling thought struck Fluttershy as wind tousled her pastel pink hair.

She criss-crossed her legs on the cooler and turned to face Flash fully. He looked like he was processing everything in half-speed.

"Why haven't we ever done this before?"

"Smoked?"

"Together," she clarified. "Smoked together, I mean. I always end up outside at these things. And it looks like at one point or another, you do too."

The joint lingered in his hands. He shrugged. "Dunno. But I'm glad we're doing it now."

She hummed as she took the joint back. She exhaled in his face playfully. "I'm glad too."

He laughed, and Fluttershy felt her stomach roll. Butterflies, she thought to herself, faintly.

Flash inhaled and exhaled even closer to her, their skin making contact as Fluttershy made a futile attempt at shielding herself from the cloud of smoke.

She felt so comfortable. It almost felt like being back in the solace of her own backyard.

"You should tell me about yourself."

She tilted her head. "What?"

He was so high. Was she that high? What did she look like? His eyes were kinda red. In a pretty way, though.

"Like, tell me something I don't already know," he elaborated. "Not about horse magic or smoking or being really good at math."

She paused. "How'd you know I'm good at math?"

"You've been in honors maths all of high school," Flash said, like it was an easily accessible piece of knowledge.

It was true. She had been. But this year was the only year they'd both been in it, and they weren't even in the same period.

He'd just memorized that about her. He could even remember while stoned.

Fluttershy brought herself back to the conversation. "Um...oh! I've always really wanted a tattoo."

He gasped. "Really?"

She nodded. "When Rainbow Dash and I were kids we wanted to get our first tattoos together. But she's super scared of needles, and I didn't wanna do it without her. So even though I totally could go by myself..."

"It'd feel weird," he finished.

Another nod. "I've always wanted a trail of butterflies down my arms or my spine or anywhere. Anywhere. I love them."

Her voice began to falter as she realized how animatedly she was speaking, hands moving faster than her brain. They were shoulder to shoulder.

Flash didn't seem to mind. "That's really cool. If you ever change your mind, I have a friend that could get it done for you."

She smiled as he took the joint and finished it off. She appreciated the offer, even though she knew she'd never be able to go through with it knowing Rainbow wouldn't be there with her.

"Now drop the Flash lore," she said, a wave of playfulness washing over her. "What doesn't the world know about you?"

Everything she knew about Flash Sentry was secondhand knowledge. Heard it from a friend. A rumor turned out to be true. Sunset spilled something she shouldn't have. They hadn't really talked to each other like this before.

"I wanna compose music for movie soundtracks," he smiled. "And I got into the best music program in the country. But I'm not going."

Fluttershy gaped. "What? Why?"

He shrugged.

She shoved his shoulder with an unexpected amount of force.

"Holy shit," he laughed. Canary. "What was that?"

"You're turning down your dream school? And you don't have a reason?"

Weed and cider made advising an acquaintance on their entire life's path feel more than appropriate. She would've kicked herself an hour ago.

"I have a reason," he said, still grinning. He didn't see her as much of a threat. 

A beat passed. She inched closer to him, and stared like her looks could kill.

He looked entranced almost. "I'm scared."

She backed up. "Sorry."

He shook his head. "Not of you. Of going. Of leaving everything behind."

"You don't like change," she muttered. It wasn't a question.

"I haven't moved since the first grade, when my parents split and I came here. Everything'd be different all over again."

Fluttershy actually remembered the day Flash had first moved to their town. He wore light up sneakers and had a gap in between his front two teeth. Rainbow Dash pushed him down the slide at recess.

She blushed at her ability to remember. 

"And everything's familiar, y'know? But I also don't wanna feel stuck. Because these last two years, with everything happening... I've felt..."

"Stagnant."

"What did you just say?"

She blinked. "Stag. St. Wait."

God. They were so high.

"Like, not moving," she tried again.

He nodded. "Yeah. Not moving. But I also don't wanna move. So I'm not going."

She stared at him as he stared off into space.

"Can I be mean?"

"You're never mean, Fluttershy."

"You're being really fucking stupid."

Flash's jaw dropped. The combination of the swear with the insult rocked his world, apparently. 

"You're holding yourself back from something really cool because you're scared," she said. "I do that a lot. It sucks. It sucks so much, Flash."

He held her gaze like she was the only thing in the world. It felt like her brain was melting.

"You have to go. You deserve to. End of discussion."

He blinked. "You can't just—"

"But I did, though." She grinned. Unbeknownst to her, his heart was subject to combustion at any second. She looked beautiful.

"I guess I can't argue with a pretty girl telling me what to do, can I?"

Flash struggled to keep his thoughts inside his head when he was high. He forgot that.

Fluttershy's blush deepened and spread across her face immediately.  "Hey, don't distract me. You're committing to that school."

"Yes ma'am," he saluted. "But, uh. I wasn't trying to distract you."

Fluttershy was hyper aware of their proximity. She could feel his breath on her face, the material of his jacket, and see each of his individual eyelashes.

She leaned in, but he pulled back.

"No," he breathed.

Embarrassment sprouted in her stomach, and she scooted away. "Oh."

"No, like," he said, chasing their closeness. "Not now. Not here. I mean. Yes. But no."

That nonsensical sentence made perfect sense to her. Sober. Somewhere else. Somewhere meaningful. After they knew each other a little more.

(Even though they knew each other better than they'd thought.)

"Okay." She couldn't help but smile. Because he still wanted to kiss her just as much as she wanted to kiss him.

Flash pulled a can up from the pack next to them. "Shotgun this with me?"

Fluttershy nodded. 

The next ninety minutes were all laughs and heads on shoulders and little secrets that nobody else knew.

Eventually, once the munchies were too hard to ignore, Flash stumbled back into the house to grab a pizza box and didn't come back for almost ten minutes because he was so out of it.

They tapped their slices together, and Fluttershy winced as he folded his slice in half before taking a bite.

"You're so weird."

"You're pretty judgmental for the living embodiment of kindness."

She snorted. He spent the next five minutes recreating it, and almost choked.

The party raged inside, but the most fun was had on the porch. 

Tomorrow, Fluttershy would ask him for that tattoo artist's number. And he would send her a screenshot of his official commitment to his dream school.

And maybe they'd finally get that kiss. But all that mattered now were the whispers of the wind, and the trill of songbirds in the night.