> My Little Pony: The Lost Episodes Season 2 1/2 > by The Pancake Enigmas > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > EP 1: Guangatongaloonians > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- In the far reaches of space their was an anchient tribe called the Guangatongaloonian. One artifact remained that gave increadable power... And it is headed towards Equestria MY LITTLE PONY: THE LOST EPISODES BROUGHT TO YOU BY DERP CO. HERP-A-DERP-A-DERP [Insert theme song here] Rainbow Dash did a great job of clearing the sky that day. It was raining extremely hard and the streets were flooded. The winds were going about eighty miles per hour and had already picked up angel and thrown him who knows where! But that's okay cuz he's a jerk and nopony likes him! Anyways, Fluttershy was off to Sugarcube Corner to get her hair did and fancied up for some special occasion. But she couldn't remember why... But it was important!! I mean she wouldn't get her hair all cool for no reason! That would be pointless! Unless she just wanted to look nice... Fluttershy was singing on the way to Sugarcube Corner "I LOVE EVERYTHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNGGG!!!!!!!!" She sang it loud, but the harsh wind muted the pegasuseseseseseseseses voice and pushed her backwards. she was getting nowhere fast so she took a taxicab to town. when she got into town she noticed a flaming object falling from the sky and headed straight for her forehead. the forehead on her head. She then walked into Sugarcube corner where Opal was eating Pound Cake (not the food, the filly). She had a great time studying magic with Apple Jack. When Fluttershy came out of Cloudsdale she saw an object SO jaw bustin' shiny, she dropped all of her groceries! All the goodies she got from Philomina, Princess Celestias phoenix, were ruined. She had become good friends with the phoenix. They had good chats about apples, and politics, and apple politics. they are going to have lunch this Thursday at the MOOOOOOOOOOON!!! Anyways, back to the point! Fluttershy saw the green circular, or is it ovular, object. It reminded her of a pear. Which is good because Apple Jack likes palandromes. She studied the object closely, but it didn't do a thing. She was so amazed by it that she started to do the dougie. After the fifth time of singing the Macerana, she stopped. All of a sudden she was attacked by a rainbow. Then Rainbow Dash walked up. "The precious is mine!!" RD yelled with a devilish look in duh faces. "Um... That's not quite fair... I had it first." Fluttershy standamered. There is a man in the background. He was eating a sandwich. he made a portal to Equestria. But thats a whole other story. GIVE IT TO ME!!! WE NEED IT!!" Shouted Rainbow Dash as she ran to the Green thing. We?" asked Fluttershy with a face on her face that looked a bit like Nick Jonas's. "YESSSS! I BROUGHT A FRIEND!" Smiled Rainbow Dash while talking in the voice of Smeagle. All of a sudden lightning struck a nearby field and a tornado destroyed the field and all the children playing in it as their limbs were torn off their bodies and thrown into buildings, and apples, and apple buildings. Pinkie Pie was thrown by it and thrown somewhere West-East. The tornado started to catch fire and holy light was shown upon it. Then a giant explosion destroyed the field and everything in it. All that was left was a pumpkin. Then it exploded. Then it Exploded again and turned into Trixie. Trixie then melted and her innards morphed into a Timber Wolf. The Timber Wolf made boots out of the melted skin. Then a hoof busted out of the Timber Wolf's stomach. Then another out of its head. And another out of its chest! And out bursted Lilli BLossom!! "Oh my gosh it's so shiny!! I have GOTS to have it!" Lilli Blossom squealed in the most preppy voice ever. All of a sudden a voice came from no where. "DID SOMEONE SAY BUCK?!" and it shook the land and made at least half of a house implode. "umm... No?" Replied Fluttershy. "CUZ IM AN APPLE BUCKER!!" And out of nowhere Applejack attacked Rainbow Dash. AJ then ran up to the object and bucked the object and it flew into the destroyed field. All 4 of them ran to the object while attacking each other constantly. But something stopped them from going. It scared them to death. A giant creature of undetermenate species blocked their path. It was undetermenate because it was wearing a black-white hoodie, and on it was written in magenta to the fourth power 'Thug Life'. It was hardcore because the T and the i where backwards Anyways, back to the point. Cheerilee ran out of 'Ye Old Bomb Factory' right as it was exploding! She screamed "AAAHHHHH!!" as the building flew everywhere. She stopped. Gained what little sanity she had left, and said "Thank goodness I still have my giant cheese burger. I'll put it right here just in case." And set down a four foot tall cheese burger. But there is no lettuce, because she couldn't eat dairy. Back to the other four! The creature walked away cuz it saw The Mysterious Mare DO Well eating Colgate! All of a sudden Twilight Sparkle teleported right above the green object, with a baby Cheerilee. But its okay because she aged in -532.7 secounds. Twilight Landed on the object with Cherilee. Apple Jack saw some itching-cream and decided to go over and scratch it. "Hey guys!" Twilight Sparkle said talking like Napoleon Dynamite. "What happened to your voice?! You sound like a troll!" Mocked Lilli Blossom. "I got... Allergic to something?" Retaliated Twilight. Everypony looked at her now back at your man. Now back to Twilight. "OK! I did a spell wrong and it screwed up my voice! GOSH!" She yelled once again in Napoleon's voice. "I'M A PEGASUS!" Yelled Applejack while flying through the air. She then realized she was NOT a pegasus and fell on to Rainbow Dash. Rainbow pushed her off and growled in her smeagle voice "YOU STUPID FAT EARTH PONY!!" It was silent for the next hour. Then Cherilee retaliated "Who you callin’ fat?!" "Yes you are." Argued RD. feeling like Fluttershy was being left out, Cherilee screamed "Die fluttershy!!" And tackled Fluttershy to the ground. Fluttershy tried to fly away but was pulled down by the brute force of Cherilee. THEN! That giant creature, Which took off its hoodie and was obviously Gummy, swooped down roaring ferociously. He then proceeded to eat the green object! All the ponies jaws dropped. "I gots tuh tweet this!" Said Lilli Blossom while pulling out her Iphone and tweeting it. Gummy then stomped and she dropped her Android. Spike ran up, grabbed the PC, and flew away! Fluttershy's face turned bright red. She was extreamly angry. She was going to give that object to angel for his one and one sixteenth birthday! She flew up to Gummy, grabbed him by the tail, and slammed him to the ground! He Spit out the green object but Fluttershy didn't realize it and continued to beat him up. Suddenly an octopus flew in from the space and yelled "DOCTOR OCTOGONOPUS" and shot a lazar right at Rainbow Dash and Twilight Sparkle which killed them right as the lazar touched his skin. Their blood stained the grass which Cherilee stood crying on. Cherilee was sad because Twilight was dead. She didn't care about Rainbow Dash however. "HEY GIRLS!!" Yelled a voice about 100 feet away from the place where RD and Twilight died. Cherilee looked over and Rainbow and Twilight where standing over there waving! "We re-spawned!" Yelled Twilight as she ran to rejoin the chaos. "Hey guys look! A portal!" Yelled Applejack. And sure enough, a blue portal formed about five feet away from them. All of the ponies gazed apon it except Fluttershy, who was to busy attacking gummy. "Yeah! Portal 2!" Yelled Twilight Sparkle as she jumped into the wanderous portal. Applejack wanted to abuse animals as well and bucked Gummy’s face. After Twilight jumped into the portal, it started sucking in everypony within a ten foot radius. Cherilee's cheeseburger did not get transported which gave her a sad. "We need it!" Yelled Rainbow Dash. "And we will get it!!" Everypony was now inside the portal, and derpy had nopony to play patty cake with. [insert end credits here] > EP 2: Guangatongaloonians > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Previously on My Little Pony: The Lost Episodes. [Insert previous images here] "Sir!" Yelled Robniflash, the main guard of Guangatongaloonia. "Some 'pony like horses' have galavanded into our fine land!" "Where are they?" Questioned a shadowy figure that Robniflash was bowing before. "We don't know their exact coordinates, they might be planning a seige." The shadowy figure laughed. "Get me my 'steed like horse'." He demanded, "I'll find them myself... And it will be off with their-" [INSERT THEME SONG HERE] When Fluttershy fell out of the portal, she looked around and dropped her orange in awe. The area was an stunning shade of black and grey. The flowers beautifully drooped to the ground in anguish from lack of water. The oily lake north south of her complemented the green haze in the air. On the ground was nothing but lovely, uneven dirt and mud for miles. Fluttershy called out for her compadres and didn't find them for awhile. After five centinials she finally found her fruit cake, and her friends too. Although she didn't find Applejack, she did find a depressed Pinkie Pie and a quiet Rarity who had not originally accompanied them on their jorney. "Looks like we are all reunited." stated Cherilee. "And I still gots my giant cheeseburger!" "All of us but Applejack." Sighed Pinkie Pie. Pinkie Pie arrived when she was flung west east by the tornado. It broke physics and put Pinkie in this new world. "I'm an invertabrate!" Shouted Cherilee. "Lets get some tea!" Suggested Lilli Blossom. "Come on guys!" Shouted Rainbow Dash who was back to her old self. "We gotta figure out where we are! And I'm not letting you guys slow me down!" "Actually we are slowing you down by talking to you." Said Twilight Sparkle in her troll voice. Rainbow couldn't take any more and decided to explode. The explosion was bigger then a bed room but not quite as blue as a red. "你在開玩笑嗎？獨角鯨，德國偉大的土地更聰明，那麼你!" Shouted Rainbow Dash in a fluent Chinese voice. "Why you no speak American?" Asked Lilli Blossom while giving Rainbow the suspecious stare. "I think she has multiple personality disorder." Suggested Fluttershy. "Actually the correct term is Skitzafrenia." Corrected Pinkie Pie. "And Luckily I speak Chinese." "我不知道你說的話。可以請你在我的家鄉舌頭說話嗎？" Asked Rainbow Dash "What did she say?" Asked Twilight Sparkle. "I wasn't paying attention." Said Pinkie with a shrug. "I was busy argueing about existance with the universe. I won." Nobody really cared about what Rainbow Dash had said so they all decided to head off into the direction they where going in. Meanwhile about 42 air boats away was an apple bucker... "I'm a Pegasus!" Screamed Applejack as she fell from the sky. She then snapped out of her sugar high and realized she was falling to her death. Shining Armor then threw his wife at Applejack which knocked her out. Applejack woke up in the world where no physical being can reach. She was standing on what looked like sand but was really just sand. The sky was not. Applejack then woke up dueling with the bagpipe ninja. The most fearsome bagpipe warrior of the whole Russian super market. He's dead now. Applejack waited there for about five more minutes when she saw a pink pony flying down on a giant ball of fire. It was Overlord Celestia. "Applejack!!" Overlord Celestia sang as she gracefully floated down on the flame. "HI PURPLE LADY!!" Cried AJ as she started to touch Celestias face. "Applejack... wut r u doin?" Asked Celestia still singing. Applejack smiled an evil smile. Like an emoticon evil smile >:) "Applejack... Stahp!!" Demanded Celestia. Applejack then viciously attacking her with the claws she doesn't have. She pounded her hooves with brute force against Celestias horn. Applejack refused to stahp attacking. She then ran over to the flame that Celestia was riding on and ripped it in half, holding two balls of fire with her bare hooves. "I'm combing my hair with the sun!!" Applejack shrieked. She then proceeded to bring the flame up to he mane and burn the flowing majesticness right off. Her tail and mane where replaced with burning fire. Celestia noticed a circular, or ovular, green object behind Applejack and tried to crawl over to it with the wind powered strength she had left. "NO!!" Screamed Applejack as she threw a ball of fire towards Overlord Celestia. She died. Applejack then picked up the green orb and then went off to find her wormpnips. That's Guangatongaloonian for tennis led. Meanwhile about 666 half way folded pillow cases away was a duck. The duck has no soul. Its name is Ned but it doesn't care because it can't comprehend any sort of communication. "Why am I a duck?" He thought, but he didn't because he doesn't have a soul. He waddled a couple feet then stopped. If Ned was human he would go to hell because he is an atheist duck, but he is not a human nor atheist duck. He then looked down. There lay his dead parents shot during hunting season. He wanted to cry, but he didn't because he's just a duck. He has no soul. He has no soul and is a duck. Meanwhile... "I sense their presence..." Pinkie Pie felt a disturbance in the force. She closed her eyes and couldn't tell what it was, but it was serious. "We never should've come." Sighed Twilight Sparkle with a drop of sweat falling from her eye brow. "It's too late now." Pinkie Pie closed her eyes and her head dropped. "We will do this for friendship." Cherillee nodded. "For Equestria." "For the universe!" Added Fluttershy. "I'm plotting all your gory deaths." Muttered Rarity. "Whats waz tht?" Asked Lily Blossom. "Nothing..." Sighed Rarity Lily Blossom, Rarity, Twilight Sparkle, Pinky Pie, Cherilee, Rainbow Dash, and Fluttershy all looked ahead at the Guangatongaloonian base. There was no guards. "Pinkie Pie!" Exclaimed Twilight. "Can you go into their minds?" Pinkie nodded. "I'll try." She concentrated and got a vision. "They're-" "Eating Smores and plotting our downfall?!" Squealed Cherillee. "Yes." Pinkie Sarcastically replied. "No. They are... Oh no..." Pinkie had a look of distain on her face. "What?!" Asked Fluttershy in a scared whisper. Pinkie Pie held her hooves to her head as if having a headache. "They're... They're going to fight... With... Paradoxes..." Pinkie Pie then blacked out. "For Narnia!!" Screamed Twilight Sparkle as she ran full speed at the base. They all charged and then stopped about three yards later. "Why hasn't Rainbow Dash said anything lately?!" Twilight asked. At that exact moment an explosion ripped through the sky and a portal formed where the ponies where standing. It instantly engulfed all of them. The portal led them to the top of a volcano. Applejack was sitting on the Volcano, still on fire, holding the green orb and singing to it. Applejack was wearing a feather boa made of Celestias wings. "Applejack?!" Screamed Fluttershy. "Did you record my sports video?!" "No..." Replied Applejack. "I recorded the GOLF one!!" The fiery pony laughed evilly to herself. "NOOOO!!!!" Yelled Rainbow Dash, apparently feeling somewhat normal again. Fluttershy felt enraged and punched Applejack. Applejack took off her hat, spit in it, and put it in Fluttershy's face. Fluttershy stumbled back crying blood but ran forward again and bucked the orb out of Applejacks possession and flew up to catch it. Right when she touched it she felt immense power flowing through her body. "Drop the orb Fluttershy!" Yelled the ponies in unison. "No!" Shouted Applejack. "It gives incredible power! And free money!" Fluttershy smiled and started to fly away from the volcano with the green orb in hoof, but Applejack threw a fire ball at her and she started burning and fell into the volcano with the orb. Both Fluttershy and the orb plummeted into the lava. Applejack in desperation jumped in after the orb screaming. "Well...." Said Rainbow Dash. "Their dead." "No..." Said Pinkie Pie. "I feel power coming from the volcano... The strong kinda power not the weak kinda power." Suddenly Applejack flew out of the volcano with wings of fire. Fluttershy in one hoof, the orb on fire in the other. I'M A PEGASUS!!!!" Bellowed Applejack. With every word she spoke, fire spit from her mouth. Her mane and tail still on fire. Her cutie mark turned from apples, to flaming apples. "I'M UNSTOPABLE!!" Blastoise used HydroPump. Applejacks wings fainted. "What?!" Shouted Applejack. "That's not fair!" "Sorry.." Whispered Rarity. "I wasn't trying to kill you that time." Applejack started to melt into a wax. Rainbow Dash then made her into a cinnamon candle. A sudden flash of darkness appeared and all the ponies where on the Friendship Express headed for Ponyville. Twilight Sparkle looked around at her friends sleeping in their beds as if nothing happened. She was sitting next to Pinkie Pie. "Twilight..." Whispered Pinkie Pie, holding the orb in her hooves. "What just happened." [insert credits here-ish] > EP 3: A day in the life > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Rainbow Dash and Applejack had a calm, problem free day without any sort of romantic experience or even talk of sexual behavior. > EP 4: Discovery > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Twilight," Started Pinkie Pie. "Is there a reason you dragged me into your basement... Again?" "NO!!" Twilight retorted sarcastically. "I thought we might just have a day in the life." "With no romance or even talk of sexual behavior?" Asked Pinkie with a raise of her eye brow. "Pinkie! That's not why I called you down here!!" Shouted Twilight. "We are going to find out what this orb really is! Obviously we are the only ponies who remember the darn thing!" Pinkie Pie rolled her eyes. "I'd rather not spend my last few days of my life finding the purpose of some dumb rock." Rarity felt a disturbance in her character. Twilight Sparkle was confused. "What do you mean 'last few days'?" "Applejack is going to kill us all eventually." Stated Pinkie. The basement seemed the same sense they where down there last, when Twilight was testing Pinkie. No changes. "I'll choose not to comprehend that sentence." Twilight Sparkle was wearing overalls, and pulled the green out of one of her pockets. It still glowed like a glow in the dark air plane, with little glow in the dark army men, and a glow in the dark atomic bomb, ready to nuke glow in the dark Nagasaki. Cheerilee ran in, forgot what she was going to say, and ran back out. "Maybe," Suggested Pinkie Pie, "we could do something to activate it." "Activate it?" Questioned Twilight. "Last time it was activated by Applejack when she touched it." Pinkie said. "Maybe she has something to do with it." "You weren't even there!!" Twilight yelled. "How do you know that?!" "Forget it lets just hit it with something heavy." Pinkie Pie sighed. "Like Applejacks skull?" Asked Twilight with a laugh. "Lets just go. We are killing day light." Pinkie demanded. Twilight Sparkle glared at her friend. "Day light is inanimate and impossible to kill." The two said nothing and headed off to Applejacks house, forgetting their promise to play pattycake with Derpy. [INSERT THEME SONG HERE] When Pinkie Pie and Twilight Sparkle arrived at Sweet Apple Acres, Applejack was in a full body cast and the Cutie Mark Crusaders where painting a giant pirate-ninja on the barn (Or was it a ninja-pirate?). Applejack was sitting on Big MacIntosh. "Applejack!!" shouted Pinkie Pie and Twilight Sparkle. "Applejack!!" Screamed Applejack back at them. "Applejack! We need you to touch the object again!" Said Twilight, forgetting that her friend had no memory of what had happened. "I didn't touch nothin!" Applejack protested. "I've just livin a day in the life with my Rainbow Da-" She paused and looked around. "WHERE IS MY RAINBOW DASH?!?!" "Why are you in a full body cast?" Asked Pinkie Pie in curiosity. "I was painting that pirate-ninja! Did I mention I'm an apple bucker?" "Then if you broke your body painting it, why are the Cutie Mark Crusaders doing it?" Asked Twilight Sparkle. "I hired them." Applejack stated. "What about child labor laws?" Asked the purple unicorn. "GET OFF MY PROPERTY!!" The apple bucker demanded. "Isn't it Granny Smith's property?" "Granny Smith is dead get off my property!!" "OOOOOOOHHH!!!! OLD SPICE BODY SPRAY IS TOO POWERFUL TO STAY OUT OF THIS FANFICTION!!" Shouted the Old Spice guy. "You smell like friendship." He said to Twilight Sparkle. "You smell like Pow-" "YEAH I DO!!" A time warp then took him back to Mother Russia. Then, smelling like power, the two ponies left Sweet Apple Acres, knowing the crazy pony could do nothing to help at this point. Twilight Sparkle groaned. "How are we going to get back to Ponyville without any slaves?!" King Sombra then felt a disturbance in his character.... He then realized he has no character, and proceeded to mutter to himself about slaves, and crystals, and crystal slaves. "We can walk..." suggested Pinkie Pie. "Isn't that how us earth ponies get around?" Twilight's eyes lit up, and she jumped onto her friends back. "Onward my slave! To Hogwarts! AWWWAAAAYYY!!!!!" Pinkie Pie rolled her eyes and slowly started walking towards Ponyville. "Why am I the slave?" Asked the pink pony, trying to ignore the sound of her spine being destroyed. "I have the superior mind, an unfathomable aura, I've won an argument with the universe, my laugh FREAKING KILLS TREES WITH FACES!!!!! I CAN RUN FASTER THEN RAINBOW DASH CAN FLY!!!! I CAN PLAY 60 INSTRUMENTS AT ONCE!!! I'M AMAZING WITH BABIES!!!! I SOLVE MYSTERIES!!!! AND I HAVE ONE OF THE MOST POPULAR FANFICTIONS WRITTEN ABOUT ME IN ALL OF EQUESTRIA!!!!!!" "You mean that murderous, torture story, Cupcakes?" Asked Twilight as she leaned back, enjoying the ride. "And wasn't that written from Rainbow's perspective?" "... Just tell me why I'm the slave?" "Because..." Twilight whispered with a grin. "I.... AM SCIENCE!!!! ONWARD STEED LIKE HORSE!!!!!" When the two got to Ponyville, they found magic, flying dolphins, and had a terrible adventure in space. Then they returned to Ponyville on their Candle-Hoverboards, which again, happened in space. "Well that was a terrible adventure in space." Stated Pinkie, as if somehow breaking the fourth wall and reading what I just typed. "I did." Pinkie replied in an annoying voice. "I don't have an annoying voice!!" Squealed Pinkie in the voice of Twist. I am the writer and I can write what I want. "Pinkie Pie, who are you talking to?" Asked Twilight. "The narrator. He thinks you sound like Napoleon Dynamite." Pinkie answered. All of a sudden Lilli Blossom ran up, and ate the orb, thereby stopping the argument. "Lilli Blossom!!" Screamed Twilight Sparkle in shock. "Where did you come from, and why did you just eat that orb?!" "I thot it waz a wayt watcherz pil, so I ate it. lulz. Jk. I waz just hungry #NikkiManaj!!" "Lilli..." Started Pinkie Pie as she facehoofed herself. "Your stupidity... It is almost... A talent." "My stomach just wont listen, it's totes out of control! It grumbles around, jerks up and down, I like the super bowl. I ate that green circle, colored like celery, I can't help my stupidity, but it's what my cutie mark is telling-" For a moment, her cutie mark actually changed to the word "STUPIDITY", but nopony noticed, because right at that moment she exploded. Not like the cheap mentos explosion, but a big Hollywood $400 dollar movie explosion. Happy Explosion Day, Gorgeous. Look down, now up! It's two tickets to that thing you love. THE GALA!!! Look away, now back at me. Those tickets have turned into me! Fabio. "Unfortunately." Started Fabio. "Lilli Blossom is dead. And the writers tagged Lilli Blossom in the story. So now me, Fabio, is taking her place." "So... We lost the orb and Lilli Blossom, Applejack is in a full body cast, and the CMC are probably dead... BUT! We get Fabio!" Pinkie said with a laugh. "... We lost the orb?" Asked Twilight as her eyes began to tear up. "Look down. NO! Don't look away from Fabio. Fabio is holding that thing you love. AN ORB!!" Fabio then pulled the green orb from his mouth, and handed Twilight the orb. Twilight was shocked at the sight of the orb, almost completely in tact. Amlost... "Pinkie..." Twilight whispered. "There is a dent in the orb... Maybe eating the orb, damages it..." > EP 5: Pony Songs That Ponies Most Likely Don't Sing > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Thank Yall for comin tuh Sweet Apple Acres for this humble get tuh geather." "Cheerilee, This is Apllejacks farm..." Fluttershy whispered. "Hush up!" Demanded Cheerilee. "Arbor Day is stupid!" "I'm an apple buckin Pegasus!" Yelled Applejack as she lit a fire around the ponies who showed up. "Roll call! Fabio! Rainbow Dash! Rarity! CheeseBurger! Twalaught! Pinkamemeanana! Rainbow Dad!" "I have a father?" Asked Rainbow Dash as her eyes began to sparkle and a hole started to fill in her multiple hearts. "Shut up! Ahm doin Role Call!" Shouted Applejack. "Cheerilee! Ned, the soulless duck! Sweetie Belle! Princess Celestia! Luna! Discord!" "Wait." Interrupted Discord. "Why am I free? My contract says I don't get reformed until season 3..." "Well," Started Twilight. "Considering your the king of chaos, it is kind of obvious that you should easily be able to free yourself, using some physics breaking, twisted, uncomprehendable, chaotic spell. However, we just decided it would be nice for you to join us." "Silence! ROLE CALL!!! Diamond Tiara! Scootaloo! Apple Bloom.... Dead... Crackle! Sombra!" "Whos Sombra?" Asked Rainbow Dash. He looks like he had a recent disturbance in his character..." "IS THAT EVERYPONY?!?! PROBABLY NOT!!! IMMA PEGASUS!!!! I WIN!!!! LETS SING SONGS!!!!!!!" "I HATH CREATED A TUNE!!!!" Royally announced Luna. What My Cutie Mark Is Telling ME (Villain) Luna: The chaos hath been doubled, I need not control it I can make earth ponies fly, but the ponies throw a fit. The ponies want to stop it, but they would rather flee, Harmony is my enemy, and it's what my cutie mark is telling me. Discord: My talent is a diamond hat, and I'm not very proud of that. When I walk into the school house, everypony thinks of me a brat. Please tell me where my flank is! Cos anyone can see, I'm not even a pony, but it's what my cutie mark Sombra: I always wear this metal dress, in shame of my lame flank But this new cutie mark has declaired me the highest rank! I am the Queen of darkness, my slaves will be set free! This is def'nitly my destiny! And it's what my cutie mark is telling me! Diamond Tiara: My talent is magic?! I don't even have a horn! My name is just a joke, I loath the day I was born! I'm sorry Twilight Sparkle but you're my worst enemy I do not think I'll ever see, exactly what my cutie mark is telling me! Trixie: I cannot even see my mark that my destiny gave, but suddenly I have then need for crystals and some slaves. I mutter to myself, and I scare every pony. Black magic's now inside of me, and it's what my cutie mark is telling me... [INSERT APPLAUSE HERE] "Well," Sighed Twilight. "As awful as that was, it will probably be the best thing I'll hear all night..." > Mah Lil Dashay > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I am sad. I am sad because I don't have parents. I also don't have a Rainbow Dash. I want a Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash is cool and, like, Rainbow. Her mane is Rainbow and She breaks the sound barrier when people fall and almost get dead, but they don't because Rainbow Dash is way to fast to watch someone die. Unless their Gilda, because Gilda is another race, and Rainbow Dash is racist. I know that because I'm a Brony, and I like Rainbow Dash. The world is sad because my parents are dead. And I'm colour blind. What does red look like? I dunno cuz I'm colour blind and it sucks. My parents died when I killed them and I cried because they died. I'm a lot like Applejack because we both killed our parents. But nobody likes Applejack except Rainbow Dash because in one episode they complemented each other which means they are in a serious relationship. I know that because I am a Brony. My parents died. I like taking walks because I am sad and really sad because sadness is all I feel because I don't have a Rainbow Dash or Parents and I think I'm depressed because I'm colour blind and Rainbow Dashless. I took a walk one day. They day was sad because it was grey and cold, and it is also sad because I don't have Rainbow Dash. But I saw a box and I cried because boxes remind me of my parents because once they ordered something in the box. I opened the Box and there was baby Derpy Hooves in the Box. I thought there would be a Rainbow Dash and there wasn't, so I used my Wizard powers to teleport the horse to its original dimension. I later found out it was actually Rainbow Dash, but I didn't know because I'm colour blind and they look the same. I then joined a cult.