Frostbite's Diary
***
I wasn't always like this. I didn't thought in the past, that I would be a killer. That I would hate most of my kind with a burning passion. That I would feel the pain of loosing someone before my eyes. And yet - here I am. Frostbite 'Grigory' Seed, born in April 15th, 1975. To understand my motives - one should first of all know my story. And my story starts many years ago, in a small town, surrounded by the forest...
I lived on a small farm, not too far from a town called Firtop of the Siberian region, USSR. It was a northern town with a clear air, thanks to the forest around it. Firtop could be called a small city, because of the small population of 50 thousand residents. The usual temperature 6 months in a year was +11°C, starting from April and ending in mid September, when it start to get cold, down to -26°C. On the south was a road to Lena river; on the north - a railroad, led to Kamchatka peninsula and Yakutsk; on the east was a roadway to other cities, closer to the centre of the country; on the west - a forest, that was getting chopped down. Surrounded by forests and mountains, Firtop didn't had a lot of tourists, but nothenless - from year to year the population grew. I loved that place...
For a long time I lived with my father - Frozen Seed. My mom died during birth. We lived together on a small farm, raising pigs and chicken. Dad always said to me with a sad smile, that mom gave me all of her energy, so that I could be stronger than anyone and never afraid of anything. He had a small silver locket on his neck with her photo. I wondered sometimes - why dad didn't talked about other members of our family. I knew, that I have an aunt and a cousin, but father always changed subjects when it comes to them. Mom's parents distanced with me and dad, blaming him for the death of their daughter. He never forgot her and visited her grave every Sunday. She was a medic and gave everything to save lives, which he always admired in her. So it was always just me and dad.
My childhood was calm. While I was octyabrenok and then pioneer - I took a part in communist activities on restoration of buildings, printed newspapers and helped in collecting and sorting valuable metal scrap. Didn't got in komsomol, but when I was 16 - USSR fell apart, so that wasn't needed. A lot of teenagers, that were in my class left Firtop after graduation to get into college and universities in big cities. When I finished my education - I started to work on a man, that earned his money by selling wood. My job was simple - take an axe, get to the tree that was marked to be chopped down and... cut it down. Then get rid off the branches and send it to the workshop, where it get processed into long logs with bark. After that the end product is sent on train in a factory, in another city. It was an easy and calming job that had it's moments.
Our brigade consisted of ten people and a driver, that rid us to the working site out of the town. Oldest among us was our driver - uncle Straight Road. He was in his early sixties, a bit overweight, kind and understanding man, veteran of the Second World War. Youngest was me - a 17 years old boy, tall like the trees I was chopping down. Despite being youngest and mute - nobody treated me unfair.
Uncle Road had a daughter - auntie Soft Care. She was in her early forties and was incredibly beautiful woman, but despite that - she didn't had anyone. She had a short blonde hair and a rich green eyes. Auntie Care worked as teacher in kindergarten, looking for those little troublemakers. Uncle Road loved her daughter, but as a father was sad, that she was alone. Straight Road knew a lot of things, starting with the construction of his truck's engine block like the back of his old hand and boxing to defend yourself, ending with life's wisdom. He once told me, that judging by history - our world will know peace only if we disappear from it. Looking at his words now - he was absurdly accurate.
Our group was an occasional guest to the small bar, where me and uncle Road were the only ones, who stayed sober. Others, that lived in town were not against the idea of having a pint of beer after work. Our paychecks allowed that. Our boss payed us fair and in time. We would start working at 7am and end our day in 6pm, after wich got back to workshop and go to bar. Day atfer day - the time passes and soon it was time for me to have a checkup and go to army, serving my country.
After I officially became 18 - it was time for the checkup. Doctors examined me : nose, ears, eyes, throat, pulse, weight, hight... I was an example of good shape, working as lumberjack built up my muscels. In my 18 - I was 194 cm and 91 kg, a perfect candidate for almost any part of the military. Troopers, artillery, air force, sailor... i could go anywhere, but here was a big problem - I had a disability, that prevented me from entering service. I was mute for as long as I remember myself, conversing with either writing or hand gestures. Doctors couldn't sign my papers. My father was saddened by that, but understood that it was against the laws to send me to the army. I recieved my military ticket, where was my photo and info about me, writing down 'Category V', which means 'fit to serve in the country-wide war situation'.
With my military ticket now on hands - I continued to work with my brigade, right until I was 22. I saved a good sum of money to this day and decided to travel to the heart of our country - Moscow. I left a good portion of my savings to my father, because I will be gone for aproximetly one month. Straight Road gave me a thumbs up for my journey and said, that he will visit my dad from time to time, while I'm gone. They were a good friends, having almost the same intrest in fishing and spending Saturdays on Lena river to catch something. I set off in the start of June, train ride will take me a week to get to Moscow. I packed my stuff, said goodbye to my friends and headed to train station on the next day.
On the train I met some interesting people. Some guys were playing 'King and Jester' on guitar, drinking in company, I was invited as well. They had horns and wings, which I didn't see in Firtop. In school they have told us, that Firtop is in 'null zone', which means - other kinds couldn't live there. For pegasus it's too cold to fly and there was too little magic for unicorns. It was interesting to learn and to write about my home town to them in return. The ride was actually a lot of fun. When we finally arrived at Moscow train station - we said our goodbyes and split up. I found myself a place, where I could live during my visit. Some old woman was renting a one room apartment for cheap and without a second thought I agreed. It was close to the center of the city and with calm neighbors.
***
Since my arrival two weeks has passed. I visited a lot of places, had a chat with interesting personas, almost got arrested even! Officers thought that I look suspicious, walking and looking around. Good thing I could explain myself. They apologised and let me go. Beside that - I noticed a lot of things, that I didn't like. And things I straight up hated. The most infuriating was discrimination. I read, that 'equestrians are superior' above humans. But didn't they also say, that our society is built on unity? I can't see unity of our citizens in beating one human by earthling, while others just watching. I couldn't pass that, and so I interrupted them by punching that sack of shit in the jaw. Beat up human was surprised, as the crowd around us was too. Earthling's jaw was broken and he lost a couple of teeth, that will teach him a lesson. I looked back at human, he had a thankful smile, holding his hand with a broken middle finger. I helped him get up and he motioned me to alleyways, away from eye witnesses. He was walking and talking - how that earthling was occasionally beating humans in this district. I asked him with the help of my notebook - why police is closing eyes on those things? He answered with dry laugh and said, that they do that too after their shifts. This just angered me even more. How they could be so cruel to others?...
Couple of more questions later and I now knew the name of this man - Egor, worker of the local district's heating system. He thanked me one more time and invited me with him and his friends in a small bar this evening. That sounded intrested and so, I agreed and recieved an adress. We bid each other goodbye and walked away now to meet later.
When the evening came - I reached the said bar called 'Safe Heaven'. Not too crowded area, that's for sure. But the inside of the bar was a lot different from the outside. Classic-like bar was thriving with humans and equestrians. All kinds were here, talking, smoking and laughing. When I walked in - almost every pair of eyes was set on me. Uncontrollable is a huge understatement. The situation was saved by Egor, calling me from the far corner. He introduced me as his savior, to wich the whole bar cheered, saying that I did the good thing. Egor's company was surprisingly very pleasant. He was surrounded by friends, both humans and not. He said, that this bar is a safe zone, where is no discrimination should be happening. And it was true. Equestrians were playing darts and pole with humans, having genuine fun. I liked this place.
There, Egor introduced me to Morning Glow. She almost didnt changed - same pristine white skin and blazing orange hair with scarlet red eyes. I was surprised to see my ex classmate from Firtop school here. She recognised me too, surprised - how I get here. Morning left Firtop to get into university of agriculture. Now she was a botanist, growing and selling rare plants and flowers in her little shop. When it was my time to tell the tale - I wrote, that I was working with lumberjacks. She laughed, saying that I was good in wielding an axe since I was octyabrenok, which was true. Word by word, the time was passing. A lot of good memories came to us during this evening. Too bad it was interrupted.
Buddies of that beat up shmuck I punched came to the bar, starting to cause ruckus. After a loud argument they threw the first punch, breaking some unfortunate guy's nose. The fight was about to start. Thirty bar members were going against a group of forty equestrians. Men and a couple of brave punk girls armed themselves with table legs, broken bottles and switchblades. Equestrians were ready and after everybody got out - the fight broke loose. I was in that fight with both Egor and Morning, the latter of wasn't afraid to punch somepony in the face, she had a great right hook. Egor was fighting with a brass knuckles, punching one bastard after another, having his revenge for everything they did to him and his friends in the past. I was trying to hold back my strenght, knowing very well that even for earthing - I was really strong. But after somepony stuck a knife into my leg - I threw away any caution. Punch after punch, I was laying my opponents down, breaking their noses, ribs, hands and punching teeth out of their mouths. It was refreshing to actually kick somepony's ass with a justified reason. Fight ends with them running away and our side cheering for victory. Egor screamed something like 'and never fucking come back, you milk sucking dipshit mongrels', wich I found actually pretty funny. We took injured inside and helped them to patch up their wounds. All of us had bloodied knuckles, heavy breathing, a wide smile and fire in our eyes. I thought in that moment, that what I did and with whom was right. If there was nobody to stand up for equality - we will. Not just because it was a right thing to do... but also because it was fun!
Morning helped me with my wound, smiling and laughing. 'They would think twice now before coming here again'. This night was spend celebrating our victory. Since it was Friday - nobody was caring about going to work tomorrow. Egor, already drunk out of his ass, told me that he now considered me his friend and 'partner in crime'. He also told everybody, that today we will go out and drink ourselves stupid. It was a start of an incredible friendship.
True to his words - every participant of the fight stayed in the bar for the whole night. Some of them were beaten, but it didn't stopped them from having fun. I also learned a couple of important things that night. One - those punk girls were Egor's wife and younger sister - Tamara and Lisa, two - I can't tolerate alcohol at all, three - Morning was in love with me since middle school. She proved that by deep kissing me on the lips. It was accompanied by loud cheers of the whole bar. It was the last thing I remembered for that night.
I decided to stay in Moscow for the whole summer. To earn money I got a job at warehouse, handling heavy loads. Our company didn't split after that evening. When I had the time - I was meeting Morning after work and spending time with her. On the weekends - we were gathering in the bar to have fun. Once a week I was sending letters to dad, back to Firtop. I told him everything that happened with me and to be honest - I was pretty worried how he would react to my new friends. When the answer came it was a huge relief. Dad wrote, that I did the right thing and was happy for me and Morning being now together. He added, that now I could see the world outside of our little town and to be careful. Little did I know what was about to happen with me and my friends in the near future...
August 26, 1997. Our company was sitting in the 'Safe Heaven'. Egor was nervously trying to call his wife, she wasn't answering for the whole day. His sister was trying to calm him down, while I was having a smoke outside, waiting for Morning. And then, like a bat outta Hell, from the corner of a building a black Volga appeared. Four earthlings came out in front of the bar, starting to order me to call Egor. I didn't budged, until one of them pulled out a TT-33 and pointed it at me. Knowing, that this was serious - I put two fingers in my mouth and prodiced two loud whistles - one long and one short. A code for troubles. Almost immediately the whole bar was outside, looking at the earthlings. Only now I recognised the one who held the pistol - it was that fucker, who was beating Egor the day I saved him. His name was Sour Treat. He said, that they had Tamara and Morning Glow. To prove it - they opened trunk of their car and dragged them out, both were tied with a rope. Sour said, that he will trade them for Egor. He agreed without any signs of hesitation. He came to them and they released his wife and my beloved. When they was almost came to the entrance of the bar - Sour shot them both in the back with a sadistic smile on his now scarred lips. This caused a shock, which quickly turned into infernal rage. Egor, with a speed that of lightning, pulled out a knife and stabbed the closest earthling in the throat. Those few from the bar ran up to the injured, while I dashed to the other two earthlings from Sour's group. Everything turned into a red blur from that moment. Last thought I had was to make them pay for what they did.
My mind was set back on it's rails when Egor slapped me in the face as hard as he could. He looked at me with worry and a slight fear in his eyes. I was on my kees, above the remains of Sour Treat, with two shot wounds in my torso. It turns out I broke both arms of Sour's goons and beated his face into ground with my fists. His head now was a bloody mush in the small crater of the asphalt road. My hands were covered in his blood, as well my shirt and face were. I was shot in the left shoulder and the right side of my chest. Egor said, that it was enough and that Sour Treat was dead after my fifth punch. I slowly stood up, my body now recognised the injuries, which started to ache. Egor said to go down, while he and a couple of his friends will deal with the mess outside. I instantly remembered, that Morning Glow was shot and with what's left of my energy - headed to the bar. I hoped in that moment, that both of them were alive.
Three days has passed. Tamara didn't survived, while Morning was out of the hospital, recovering from her wound. My own wounds didn't bothered me that much, and as for Morning - she was almost back to her full strength, which couldn't be said about Egor. For two days straight he locked himself in his now alone apartment, not answering his phone or doorbell. He cried a lot for those days, trying to not go insane from the loss. After he got out - he wasn't the same. He now had a look of hatred in his eyes. He said loud and clear, that after Tamara's bureal - he will start a campaign on avenging to every single equestrian, that is seriously discriminate humans. That he will fight until his last breath for equality and vengeance on those, who thinks that humans are trash. Suffice to say - all of his friends supported him. As for myself - I wasn't sure. I killed somepony that day and it was now eating on my concious. Was I did the right thing that day or it was too much? Equestrians couldn't support Egor openly and he understood that. He said, that I should leave Moscow for now, because of what I did. I agreed to that, but Morning couldn't join me. She had a life here and can't abandon everything. Morning knew - what I did that day. She said, that I did the right thing by getting rid of that scum Sour Treat. We promised each other to write letters at the end of the week. With that - in August 30, 1997, I left Moscow behind for good.
***
Eleven years have passed since I left Moscow behind and never came back. Usual life became my routine. I would wake up in the early morning, help in feeding animals, have a breakfast with dad and go to work for the most part of my day. Constant work with an axe and exercises during free time made my body gain even more mass and muscles. In the spring of 2001, the town had a friendly competitive games of 'Stronger, Higher, Faster', with results being my undoubted victory in many categories. Most weight lifted (410 kg), cannonball throwing (67.3 m), push-ups and body-lifting. Running was not my thing and participating in bodybuilding competition would get too much attention, since my body was already too scarred. You may ask - 'where did you got that many scars?' The answer being my vacations.
Ever since Egor declared a war against unfair treatment of humankind - Russia was submerged into a slow-burning civil war. No strikes were walking on the streets, it was pointless. No documents were sent to the higher ups - all complains were dismissed. Humans and some of the equestrians across Russian grounds started to hunt down xenopobic individuals and anti-human groups. I was the part of this rebellion, along with Morning Glow. During one month of every summer we would gather together with other activists and participate in the civil war. I would be a liar, if I say that I didn't kill anypony during those times, same goes for Morning. We ended a lot of lives. Molesters, murderers, slavers... the list goes on and on. I never felt guilty for what I did, and never will. I've seen with my own eyes - what they do to humans. My cruelty was a reflection of their ignorance and egoism. But those times passed with the government reistablishment.
December 28th, 2008. Russia stopped it's existance. New president was elected, thanks to his anti-human campaign and right in the next month new laws were passed. Now it was Federation of United Russian Republics (FURR). Humans lost their rights to own buisness, land and veichels. They still could be hired on any job, but couldn't have the same pay as equestrians, their paychecks are halved. This was a huge hit for any human partisan, they start to lose hope. Aside from that - a new military group was formed. Federal Endangerment Assault Recon (F.E.A.R) had a sole purpose of neutralising dangerous human elements and their sympathisers. That means - Egor and his sister were now a target, myself and Morning as well.
After those changes were made across the country - a letter came to my mailbox. February 7th, 2009. Morning was coming back to Firtop in six days. Egor's group was disassembled for now and he was asking for sanctuary. His sister with other partisans were already dead, 'Safe Heaven' was burned down with their dead bodies inside. I agreed without hesitation. Dad gave his agreement too. His words were 'This country is going downhill, Frostbite. We're not going to die peacefully.' Even father in his mid sixties knew that beforehand. He was still a kind soul, that supported me and shared my points of view. He agreed to hire Egor as farmhand, giving him a place to live, a hot meals and some money for his work. Morning Glow and Egor came to Firtop separately. She decided to live with her parents for now, while Egor was set in the warm basement of our house. Morning Glow got a job at filial of local bank. Our romance didn't stopped either, we still loved each other. Every day after work I would walk with her, treat her with a dinner or some alone time. Egor was adapting to his new duties with ease, saying that this was much better job than his pervious one. Our life once again became stable.
October 23, 2009. Our wedding day. I proposed to Morning in August and we played a small ceremony for friends and family. My co-workers, father, her parents and a couple of her friends. We decided to live together on the farm, where nobody would disturb our happiness. Morning officially became my wife and I was now her husband. My co-workers presented me a custom-made axe for my work, engravings on the blade and an incredibly sturdy handle. For Morning they prepared a neatly made rocking crib and sheets. It was both a question and a hint. Parents from both sides gave us some cooking utensils and the item, that I treasure till this day. It was a silver locket with a photo of me and her together. We both got a locket from my father, that said it was a tradition. He and my mom got a locket from his father as wedding gift. We couldn't thank him enough.
Egor had a present too. He couldn't be at restaurant with everybody and didn't had much, but he did had something meaningful. His gift was a tattoo of our human names. He said, that despite the hardships of his life and overall struggle - he was glad to have a friends like us. That night I became Frostbite 'Grigory' Seed and Morning became Morning 'Anastasia' Glow. Those names were tattooed on the vein side of our left arms. Our married life oficially started, the most happy times in my life.
***
November 2nd, 2011. It happened while I was at the station, preparing one of the newly chopped spruce trees. In Someone from my brigade said, that he saw an armored black veichle with acronym 'F.E.A.R' on the side. My heart skipped a beat that moment. I grabbed my axe and ran to our farm. From the lumber station to our farm was something around 3 km. I heard voices of my colleagues behind my back. Never ran that fast before, heart pounding in my ears and cold sweat on my forehead. I saw the smoke from far away and heard gunshots. Something tightened in my stomach. Yes, they came to us. My biggest fear was truly happening.
I came too late. The main house was on fire. I saw the motionless body of Egor on the front yard. Near him was dad's hunting shotgun. Some further was dad's body, laying on the side with open from terror eyes. Where is Morning?... Some of the agents turned, hearing my steps. Don't know - why they didn't shot me that moment. Maybe thought, that what they did was enough... I was focused on the house, advancing to it's flaming carcass. Bashing the door in - I run inside. Smoke was suffocating, making my eyes and throat ache the more I was there. I found her in common area in a puddle of her blood. My beautiful, sweet and energetic Morning Glow was killed. We were expecting a young one later in that year... Her stomach was bloodied, deflated. I took her hand, staying on my knees before her body, looking at her face. I now got nothing to lose. I was ready to embrace my end. I close my eyes, feeling how my conciseness was slipping. I'm coming, my dear. My only wish was to see you smile once more...
But my wish wasn't meant to be fulfilled. I awoke in a hospital room with a strong smell of medicine around, stiffnes and weakness in my body. I was cuffed by hands and legs to bed. My right eye was closed, I felt bandages there. Looks like they dragged me out of the burning house and delivered to hospital. Why? A couple of reasons came to mind. Maybe to put the blame on me. Then to judge and execute me. Make a show out of it. They might. My questions were answered pretty soon. First came the nurse, she called for doctor, checking my status and explaining the situation. I was still in Firtop, but what this could change? I was in coma for four days, because of the smoke I inhaled and the burns on my body. The whole situation was dawning on me. They all dead. My wife, my unborn child, my father, my friend... I was alone. Why I was still alive!? I couldn't hold tears anymore, the burns on my face started to sting. I ignored doctor and nurse, who were explaining the damage my body took.
Later that day came my new lawyer with detective. Lawyer saw my case and said, that it was possible to soften my punishment, if I sign the document, proving that my family were hostages of the criminal human element. In other words - if I want to save my skin I need to blame Egor for everything. I declined. Detective said, that despite the crimes I committed - he admired my decision and will look into my records with the lawyer to soften the punishment. After that I was left alone, cuffed to the bed, not even able to go to the bathroom. Often visiting nurses and my doctor knew me, but they didn't expect for me to be a criminal. After two days I was fit enough to be released from the hospital, my burns were almost healed. Right side of my face now adored a large burnmark, that damaged my eye. Right eye now was monochromatic, meaning that I couldn't see colors anymore with it. Apart from that - I didn't gained any serious injuries, small ones like the burns and bruises healed, earthling heritage be damned.
After my release from hospital I was placed into a holding cell, waiting for my hearing. Small concrete room with bars and little window. I waited not too long, the judges were ready couple of days ago. I was led to the court room, where the judges, lawyers and other personas were seated on their places. The hearing was not too long, since all the evidence were present and there was nothing that could be saved. My father, wife and myself were deemed guilty on the charges of aiding a human criminal. Since they were murdered and the said human was killed during the assault - I was the only one, that 'faced judgement'. I was sentenced to ten years of exiled catorga work in the international prison region of Yakutsk as lumberjack. As they were ready to dismiss the court - I asked one last thing. I wanted to keep my axe, as it was the only thing (aside from some of the clothes) that is left in my possession. Since I was dealing with woodwork most of my life - the judges granted me that wish. November 7th, 2011. My last day as free citizen.
***
November 9th, 2011. From Firtop to Yakutsk was three days of almost non-stop move on the train. As we were getting closer to our destination - the scenery was changing from still green forests and mountains to the blinding white snow clearness with the occasional trees. The freezing temperatures were affecting most of my new colleagues, prisoners like myself. Even if they were earthlings like me - they still shiver from the cold. All of them were different. Some looked angry, furrowing their brows and looking at others to find the weak ones. Others were scared, trying to avoid contacts with the others. I was among the calm ones. Those, who accepted their fate. There was only two of us like that. Other one was almost pitch black pegasus with red eyes and only one wing without any feathers, but a skin like that of a bat. He was looking at me most of our time in the train. Can't blame him - I was the biggest among all of us in the cart. On the second day of our trip he said something to me, on a language that I didn't knew. Sounded like Equish. Heard that speech during some of my trips in the past. I pointed to my throat at his words, indicating that im mute. He smiled, raising his chained together wrists and greeted me in universal sign language. I was surprised, that he knew that, but greeted him in return nothenless. We exchanged names, his was Long Rif. At my question of what he was - he answered with polite explanation. He was a thestral, some kind of a pegasus mutation, simliar to being an albino. He was alergic to the direct sunlight, 'saying' that it causes his body to overheat and rashes with blisters appear on his skin. He was glad, that in Yakutsk the skies cloud the sun almost all the time. Our dialogue played a good distraction for me in this trip. Two days later we finally arrived in Yakutsk.
November 10th, 2011. Some say, that Hell is hot and smells like sulfur and burning flesh. I disagree. Hell is incredibly cold, the air is painfully dry and filled with smog. Land of exiles greeted us with the evening temperature of -45°C. We were equipped with warm clothes 2 hours before our arrival. I gave one of my sweaters to Long Rif, since he was thin, like a young berch sapling. I wasn't bothered by the cold all that much, living and working in Firtop, along with my heritage, made me very resistant to any temperatures. I was left with a thermal underwear for both legs and torso, warm pants, sweater, greatcoat, three pairs of wool socks, a pair of winter boots, leather gloves with wool inside of them, ushanka and wool grey scarf. We arrived at the station, from where our group was led trough the frozen town, to the barracks.
Our new home for the forseeable future was ragged. A long building with bunk beds on both sides of the walls, three tables in the middle of the barrack with benches, cabinets for clothes, three public toilet cabins, one public shower with four cabins, four sinks in the end and no windows. In the middle, on the left side of our barrack was a cilindrical furnace, madequate out of a cast iron, that kept our 'home' warm. Our day schedule was on the inside of the metal entrance door :
6:00 - 6:30 Light's on, Morning routine
6:30 - 7:00 Breakfast
7:00 - 14:00 Work
14:00 - 14:30 Lunch
15:00 - 18:30 Work
18:30 - 19:00 Dinner
19:00 - 20:00 Check-up
20:00 - 23:00 Free time
23:05 - Light's off
There was 40 of us. Some started to pick beds, some look around while sitting on the benches, others already picked their beds and were putting their clothes in cabinets. Long Rif and I got the first beds from entrance, where was colder. I gave Rif the top bed, since he was smaller and lighter than me. Also, because the bed was too small for me and to sleep at least with some comfort - I needed to sit on it with a pillow behind my back. Our new life as workers started tomorrow.
May 15th, 2013. Two years already passed, but it felt like a week. Only 36 of us left. One tried to run away and froze to death 2 km away from the city. He was found staying on his knees under half a meter of snow. Other two were killed by my hands. First one died, while trying to rape Rif in the shower. I crushed the back of his skull against the floor with one powerful punch while holding him by his face. Of course - it was an accident, he slipped. Second one wanted to revenge for the first, he stumbled in the dark and 'fell' on his shiv during night, stabbing himself in the neck. Last one hanged himself in bathroom in the end of first year. Can't blame him, the amount of work we need to do here is very big. Doesn't matter - what weather it is, we are working every day. It helps, that my last wish was granted and I could have my axe during working hours.
My friendship with Long Rif was solidified during these two years. We shared a lot of things both in character and worldwiev. Step by step he was teaching me Equish during our collective free time. I now could translate speech with a little struggle. Rif loved to talk about his family, while I was doing push-ups and sit-ups in the evenings to keep myself fit. He was sentenced for 5 years, reasons being 'indirectly sympathising humans and calling for treason' trough his songs. He was transported here after one of his concerns. The only thing he had the time to do is say goodbye to his daughter and wife. At this I was reminded about my own wounds and told him my story, showing my tattoo. Where I was from, how I was the part of civil war, how I become friends with the leader of this movement, how I was living in happiness for only two years, and finally - how I lost everything and now couldn't find new purpose in life, existing as animated doll. Rif was speechless at my story. The only thing he did was putting his hand on my shoulder, giving his condolences. I nodded to that, asking about his daughter. He said, that when he was arrested - she was 7 years old mute filly by the name Vinyl Scratch. That was the reason for him to know the language of gestures. I said to not risk her anymore for his ideals and treasure her the most, since you never knew - what could happen or when you or her may never see each other again. Rif was younger than me. He had his daughter in 22 and now was almost 30. I was 37, already finding grey hair on my head. He promised me, that when he will get out - he will look into finding other part of my family. That gave me a little shine of hope, that I wasn't alone.
Also in that year I was invited by guards to participate in fights between prisoners for benefits. I agreed for the sake of improving mine and Rif's lives, he's weaker than anyone from our barrack. The fights were brutal. While others from our barrack were working in the cold - I was tearing another death row inmate into pieces for more food, new clothes or sigarettes. It was a fair trade for my victories, after all it kept me in shape and allowed me to let out some steam. Locals and the guards were excited every time I was walking on the ring. It meant, that today the show will turn into carnage. I wasn't caring for the well-being of death row's, they all were criminals beyond saving. We were fighting with only our fists, naked torso, pants on, bare hands. Every punch could be felt by the bones under my skin.
December 31, 2017. Almost two years have passed since Ref got out. We bid each other farewell and promised, that we will meet again in the future. I walked his skinny flank to the station, where he got checked and seated to be transported to Moscow. I took care of him as good as I could. If I didn't - he would probably die from either the cold or suicide. While we were together - he actually was able to teach me Equish. It helped us pass the time in the evenings. When he was leaving - he gave me two promises : help in finding my family and to never risk Vinyl or his wife ever again. I hope he kept those promises.
I caught myself today starring in the mirror. Since I was exiled - my skin paled, from bright blue to pale, almost white blue. My hair now was completely steel grey, instead of a 'fresh snow' white. Bags under my eyes, a bristle that I didn't cared to shave. My body now was like it was forged from the metal, old and new scars mixing together, but never disappearing. I lost two nails during fights - midle one on the left and index one on the right. My knuckles were now cowered in giant scars from all the punches I threw at my now countless opponents. As always - my face was neutral, it lost the previous small, content smile. Can't remember the last time I was laughing...
It was a brink of the New Year. Today we weren't working and were able to do anything we want within reasons. Couple of ponies got some presents from their friends or family members. As for me - I got two letters. First sender was Long Rif, which put a small smile on my cracked from the recent fight lips. Inside was something, that was worth the wait. My whole family tree was printed on A4 list, starting from Grandfather Soil and Grandmother Sherbet. It actually warmed my heart, seing colored pictures of my family. Seing colored picture of Morning sent a painful pang to my heart. After those years I still got that locket my father gave us. The picture started to lose it's previous glory, but nothenless I remembered her very well. It turns out - I have two nieces and a nephew. Rif also sent me a picture of himself and his family, writing that he dropped active fighting and became a music teacher in the school, which his daughter currently going. He told his family about me and they are thanking me for keeping their dad/husband safe, also inviting me to visit them after I get out.
Second letter, however, absolutely evaporated my good mood. It was from the detective, that had my case. He finished his investigation and found out, that those, who killed my father, Egor and Morning were not from F.E.A.R. The police came after they left and took all the glory for capturing me and killing the 'criminals'. Those, who were imposing as agents were actually some kind of a dangerous group of mobsters from Equestria. Apperently - the whole civil war was messing with their deals and they decided to 'eliminate the nuisances'. I thought, that I couldn't have my revenge. I couldn't find the guilty members if I tried, not even thinking about having a revenge. But now? Oh, now I had the name and they were very much touchable. More than that - they were somewhere in Canterlot. I wasn't sure this whole time - what will be my purpose after leaving Yakutsk, but after this information got in my hands? I was sure of my goal. I will make them pay. It was truly a twisted miracle. I wish I had a voice in this moment, so my laugh could be heard across Yakutsk.
***
November 27th, 2021. Money, money, money... feels like the whole world was now even more obsessed with money. Trip to Moscow after more than twenty years was interesting. A lot of things has changed - more cars, more buildings, more equestrians, more flashy lights, more loud sounds... but one thing that didn't changed was the old 'Safe Heaven'. It risen from the ashes like phoenix and kept almost the same theme. Now this district was populated with only humans. With my bag in left hand I walked into a bar, looking around and having a nostalgia trip back to the summer of '97.
I was unsurprisingly met with a passive hostility from almost everyone from the bar. Of course, earthling of my size and looks, wearing sweater, greatcoat, black pants and working boots with a carry bag would cause an alarming feeling. Almost no equestrians, but that wasn't surprising after FURR's government grabbed the opposition and almost chocked it to death. Only one earthling recognised me, calling me by my name. He almost couldn't believe his eyes and thought that I was some sort of a ghost. After my name was mentioned - everyone swarmed me, saying 'thank you' and 'I can't believe he's really here'. It turns out my fame lived till this day among all, who at least in some way doesn't agree with xenopobic looks. Bartender even poured me a glass of cold dark beer on the house. But I came here not to look for attention. I briefly wrote - what happened for the past years and why I was here. I was looking for a starting point. Any name of those scumfucks was useful. After the whole bar raised a shot of a strong beverage in loving memories of Egor and Morning - they gave me the right direction and photos. Apperently - there was a peculiar group of individuals, that were dealing with abduction of minors. Also to look for something, that was called 'The Order'. Members of this group wore a black cross and had a tattoo of a cross on their sleeve. That's where I should start. I thanked them for their hospitality and wrote, that they should not mention my name anywhere. After the whole bar swore to me - I thanked them and left, heading out to have a teleportation to Canterlot.
I wasn't suffering from the lack of money, my old savings were safely stored in the bank. I always had a dream of having a small cabin, like our farm, somewhere in the woods, where I could live a happy life with Morning Glow and our child. I was saving since the first trip to Moscow. My work, my trips, stolen from the criminals and shared among our group money. After so many years I could build that cabin, but now it wasn't worth it. My bank account showed me a sum of almost 3kk roubles. Since I'm not planning on returning to FURR - I exchanged almost everything for Equestrian currency, leaving some cash on hands to buy a dinner for today, a breakfast for tomorrow, a new phone, a taxi ride and a ticket to Canterlot. Everything else will be spent later, when I'll arrive.
December 3rd, 2021. Sometime after midday I arrived at Rif's house in Canterlot. Small building with one floor, one bathroom and two bedrooms. Front yard was covered with emerald green grass and a ledge instead of the fence. After three knocks and some waiting - a unicorn mare opened the door. She recognised me, probably from Rif's tales. She gave me a welcoming smile and using hand gestures invited for tea. She was the only one at home, but nothenless wasn't afraid to let me in. While inside - she led me to the kitchen, where we sat down for some casual conversation. Her name was Power Line, a professional electrician. Her job was to fix and set a power lines across city and today was her day off. Rif and Vinyl should be at home some time later, closer to the dinnertime. I conversed with her for some time, asking about Canterlot, what should I see here and what places I should avoid. In return - she asked me about my home town. I said, that after I got out - I headed straight to Canterlot, didn't even visited Firtop. She figured out, that I was without a place to stay, or enough spare clothes and said, that she would help with the shopping. For this - I agreed to help her with stocking up on groceries for dinner.
We called for a taxi to the mall and after arriving - spend at least three hours, going from shop to shop and buying new clothes. T-shirts, sweaters, pants, a new coat, boots, some socks and underwear... I was attracting a lot of attention. Line even saw some of her friends, presenting me as her family's friend. I even catched a couple of mares looking at me like Morning did. I didn't payed them too much of my attention. After my new clothes were bought - we stock up on groceries and headed to her home. Another taxi drive and we were back. We're having pasta with shrimps today. Later that evening Rif and Vinyl came home, right when we finish preparing dinner. They were surprised to see me, to say the least. Rif greeted me with a handshake and a tight hug, while Vinyl politely greeted me with a hand gestures and a happy smile. With greetings now finished - all four of us sat down for dinner.
After dinner was eaten - I asked Rif and his family to join me for serious talk. I told about the letter detective sent to me, about my reasons for coming to Canterlot and about my plans to find and exterminate those groups. Asked them to watch for any suspicious activities around Canterlot that could be connected to the said groups. I wasn't going to drag them with me to fights, that would end badly and was overall pointless. Rif and his family agreed to my proposition. I will start acting after finding a place of my own. This night I spent on a couch, thinking my plans over two days later I found - where my family lived. Sweet Apple Acres. A sizable farm, it was taken care of. Saw my nephew and nieces that day, they were just like on that photo Rif send me. Aunt Smith unfortunately died, so they were now pretty much alone. I was tempted to introduce myself, but stopped. They don't need to know, that we're related. But that doesn't stop me from protecting them.
I found a small apartment complex, where I rented a condo, paying for couple of months in advance. It was between Apple farm and that school, where Vinyl was going and Rif was teaching. I transported all my stuff to condo and started to search trough town for my targets. The hunt begins.
July 7th, 2022. Another one joined the pile of bodies under night skies. I was in a small shack, deep in the local forest called Everfree. Built it to safely store instruments and weapons. This shack was a 10 by 10 house with a bunch of instruments for woodworking and a hidden underground cellar with guns and money. Local predators were happy to help me with the bodies I occasionally was getting rid of. Most of them were left right where they life ended. Local police already was searching a 'mysterious maniac with an axe that claimed it's now 34th life of innocent civilian'. What a bunch of bullshit they spill on the news. Innocent, they say? They were criminals, every single one of them. I even gained a name among citizens and police, after getting partially caught on security camera - 'Woodsman'. Good thing the only thing that was recorded is some tall figure beheading one of the fuckers from the Jackals. Police and individuals from news already think that I'm a human, what a bunch of racists.
I also unintentionally met my nephew during one of the evenings. I was walking around the district, when an interesting scene came to my eyes. Macintosh was cornered by two guys with knives, about to rob my nephew in the alley. I interrupted them by bashing one of them into a wall face first. Second one got punch to the face and now has less teeth in his mouth. Third one just ran away, I should've catch him, slippery bastard. Macintosh thanked me for saving him, I wrote that it was no problem and that wasn't the first time I saved his family. He was understandably surprised, asking what I meant by that. I wote down my name and answered, that if I see someone trying to harm him or his sisters - I show them no mercy, and our meetings often ends with dead bodies. I asked him to not worry about it and that I will continue keeping an eye on the things. Also to not follow me around, because that will only endanger his family. He nodded to me and continued his walk to the farm, while I walked in the other direction to my apartment building. I think he put two and two together and figured out that I was Woodsman. It will be better for him and the rest of the family to not know my true nature.
September 6th, 2022. Vinyl messaged me a couple of days ago, that they have a new human student in the school, named Joel. According to Vinyl - he got the worst of it of being a human. I should probably keep an eye on him. Maybe he's not an adult, but could do a lot of thing, that would lead him to the grave. Also heard about the strange man named Frank, that's basically doing the same thing I do. My bet is that this kid Joel actually Frank. Too big of a coincidence.
September 9th, 2022. My theory was correct. He unintentionally found someone from The Order and killed most of them. Saved a young mother and her kid, I admire that. Couple of days later this mother, her little girl and a friend of Joel named Spike were gone to the Apple's farm. Good thing I was near and helped them deal with intruders, but that mother mistook me for one of the abductors and shot me. I'm not mad at her, she was scared and had a loaded gun to defend herself and her child. I took those bodies to Everfree, buried them six feet under in a plastic wrap. Guess soon enough Joel will visit me, I should start working on a mask to hide my face...