Joey, Tristan, Krillin, [Abridged versions] Achmed and Bowser in Equestria. Hilarity ensues.
Joey and Tristan from Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged... Krillin from Dragon Ball Abridged.... Achmed from the Jeff Dunham show... Bowser from Super Mario Bros..... What do these five have in common? Absolutely nothing. But when a strange figure known as Count Bleck banishes them to an unknown realm to stop them from thwarting his scheme, he inadvertently sets the events in motion... Tristan, Joey, Krillin and Achmed end up in a forest. Upon getting out [after a few extremely traumatic experiences], they meet Twilight Sparkle upon her first visit to Ponyville. Will they make friends with the other Mane Six? ..... Well no duh. But Bleck's minions have followed.... I didn't know what to put for a cover image.
All right, first story! It's just the start of a looooooooong series of stories, and I'm so excited! I'm a 14 year old writer, so I dont know exactly HOW good my work is. I'm happy with it personally, but I welcome constructive criticism. So, uh.... feel free to give me...some....um.....I'll just stop talking now. I redid the story and changed things around to a more popular series so maybe people would read it. But hey...you wouldn't know what I'm talking about. Nobody read my last attempt.
"Hey, Joey! Earth to Joey! Hey, are you listening? It's your move!" Yugi said, trying to get Joey's attention.
"Huh? Oh, sorry Yug. Doin this Brooklyn accent makes it difficult to concentrate on card games." Joey apologized.
"I know what you mean. My voice is pretty crazy too. I'm thinking about changing it." Tristan said.
"What would ya change it to?" Asked Joey.
"I was thinking about going Irish." Tristan replied happily. Suddenly, everything went gray. Tristan and Joey looked around in confusion.
"What the hell just happened guys?" Joey asked..but nobody answered. "Guys?" He said again. But it was almost as if time had stopped. Tristan waved his hands in front of his friends faces, poked Yugi in the eye and pulled down Bakura's pants. But nobody reacted.
"Oh no! We're in the Twilight Zone! Now we're gonna get eaten by vampires!" Tristan shouted in terror.
"If you mean THOSE vampires, Tristan, I really don't think we have anything to worry about." Joey said, not bothering to point out the differences between the two references.
Suddenly, there was a flash of light and a strange figure appeared in front of him. Tristan and Joey backed away in fear and saw a strange creature floating there. It was dark blue, with a white top hat, a monocle that hid one of his red eyes, a mouth like a jack-o-lantern, a cane with a diamond at the end of it and a white cape.
"Bleheheheheheheh. So you're two of the chosen heroes that is supposed to defeat me, Count Bleck!" The creature said.
"COUNT Bleck?! Oh no! We really ARE gonna get eaten by vampires!" Tristan shouted. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-"
"SHUT UP, TRISTAN!!!" Joey snapped.
"Okay." Tristan said calmly.
"If you truly are the one the prophecy spoke of, I must get rid of you. I, Count Bleck, will send you to another dimension from which you won't escape-" Count Bleck began.
"Question!" Tristan interrupted.
"Yes? Count Bleck said calmly."
"Will there be cookies where you're sending us?" Tristan asked stupidly. Joey facepalmed and Count Bleck blinked in confusion, then smiled.
"Yes. There will be lots of cookies. All you have to do is get in this portal created by Count Bleck." Count Bleck said.
"Hooray! I'm getting cookies Come on, Joey!" Tristan shouted gleefully as he grabbed Joey's arm and started running toward the portal.
"TRISTAN, WHAT THE HEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!" Joey shouted as Tristan jumped into the portal, still holding his arm and dragging him in too.
Krillin yawned as he got out of his bed. He tried to step onto the floor. Unfortunately, he didn't notice the toy car that was right next to his bed. He stepped on it and was sent skidding across the room.
"WHY DO I EVEN HAVE THIS THING?!!!" Krillin shouted as the toy carried him to the stairs. Krillin then proceeded to fall down eighty flights of stairs. "Damn it..." Krillin muttered when he reached the bottom.
Krillin Owned Count: 1
Krillin got to his feet. "Why do I have so many stairs?" He muttered to himself. He shook his head and went to the kitchen to have breakfast. He grabbed the Corn Flakes from off the shelf and poured it in a bowl. Then he grabbed a jug of milk, which was actually not a jug of milk, but a bottle of his own...um....reproductive sample that he was supposed to send to the doctor. He poured the substance into his cereal, took a spoonful in his mouth and swallowed. "Hm...the milk tastes kinda different." He said to himself. Then he turned to look at the bottle. His eyes widened and he groaned in disgust.
Krillin Owned Count: 2
Suddenly, everything turned gray. Krillin looked around. "What the hell?" He said in confusion. He looked out the window and saw that everything was frozen in time. "What's going on here?!" He shouted. Then he shielded his eyes as a bright flash of light appeared in his kitchen. He opened his eyes to see a large muscular man with a brown mustache.
"Oi! You! Squirt!" The man said. "I've been sent to take care of yeh by the Count!"
"Wait a minute! Who the hell are you, and how did you get in my kitchen?!" Krillin demanded. The man pointed at Krillin.
"Name's O''Chunks." He grabbed Krillin's legs and started spinning him around. "Now to send yeh to that place the Count wanted yeh in." He said as a big green portal appeared behind him. Then he let go, sending Krillin flying into the portal.
"NOOOOOOOOOO! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! YOU STILL DIDN'T TELL ME HOW YOU GOT IN MY KITCHEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!!!!!!" Krillin shouted as he was sucked into the portal. __________________________________________________________________________________
"So, Achmed, what nationality are you?" Jeff Dunham asked his puppet. Achmed looked up at Jeff with an almost annoyed expression on his face.
"You make millions of dollars playing with dolls on stage and you can't hire someone to find out what freaking nationality I am?" Achmed said in annoyance. The audience laughed and Achmed continued. "Look at my ass, it says made in China!" The audience roared with laughter. Suddenly, a voice came from the stage.
"Hahaha. Marvelous. Truly a wonderful performance from everybody's favorite doll lover." Jeff turned around, and made Achmed do the same. They looked up at a strange jester-like figure. He was wearing a black and white mask [at least Jeff thought it was a mask], a frilly purple and yellow costume and black pants and gloves. He was floating there, smiling down at the duo.
"Hey! Who the hell do you think you are?!" Jeff made Achmed say. "How dare you interrupt my show?! When my comrades finally show up, you're the first to die!"
"Hmhmhm. Most amusing, O bony one. Like two kittens engaging in combat. I imagine it would be quite amusing, also, to see everybody's reaction to you talking and moving on your own." He snapped his fingers, causing a bright light to surround Achmed. Once everyone could see again, they gaped at the sight of Achmed moving all on his own.
"Hey! I can move! I'm a real boy!" Achmed shouted joyfully. "Oh wait, I'm a skeleton..." He looked up at the jester. "Who the hell are you, anyway?"
"Ahh, I am Dimentio! Charming magician! Pleaser of crowds! And you, my towel-wearing friend..." He paused as he grinned down at Achmed grabbing his turban in embarrassment. "Are interfering with our plans."
"What?! How the hell can I interfere with your plans if I just came to life not five minutes ago?! And if I'm such a threat, which I am because I am very frightening, why would you bring me to life in the first place?!" Achmed shouted in confusion. Dimentio wagged his finger.
"All in good time, my little dead friend. But for the time being, I'm going to have a wonderful time playing with you and the others my comrades rounded up." Dimentio said.
"GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY!" The troll guy from SMOSH shouted from the audience. Dimentio nonchalantly snapped his fingers and the guy exploded very graphically. The guys head rolled next to the stage. "FAAAAAAAAAAAAKE!" The head shouted. Dimentio calmly threw the head out the window with a levitation spell. "THIS IS SOOO FAKE! YOU SUCK AT SPECIAL EFFE-" and then he got chopped up by a jet turbine. There was a moment of silence. "I STILL THINK IT"S FAKE!"
"Hey! I was going to do that! You stole my job!" Achmed shouted angrily.
"Oh, you'll get your chance." Dimentio said as he snapped his fingers. "Ciao!" He said as he disappeared.
"What the hell just happ-WHOA!" Achmed shouted in surprise as he felt some kind of force pulling him. He looked back and saw a large green portal sucking him in. Achmed struggled, but he couldn't get away. "If I don't make it, tell my son that I blew up his kitten and I'm not sorry!!!! How the hell do I even HAVE these memories?!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" And Achmed was sucked into the portal. Jeff scratched his head and said "I gotta lay off the drugs."
Bowser sat back in his throne and relaxed. His castle was finally completely repaired after that whole Fawful incident, and he was finally able to sit back and relax. He was about to fall asleep, but he was immediately woken up in a rage by a familiar voice.
"I have chortles!" The voice said. Bowser glared viciously at the two figures standing in front of his throne. One of them was a teenage human, with dark skin and long white hair. He was wearing a midriff bearing t-shirt, and black jeans. He was also wearing rings around his neck and body. But the sight of the other figure is what made Bowser absolutely SEETHE with rage. It was an anthropomorphic bean like creature with crazy glasses and a red cloak, flying around on a jet propelled hovercraft.
"Fawful!" Bowser shouted. "How did you get in my castle?! How are you alive?! And who's that clown you brought with you?!"
"I'm not a clown, jackass!" The human shouted. "I am Marik Ishtar! I am most undeniably evil! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
"Yes, Bowser. I have come bearing an offering." Fawful said.
"Oh no! I am NOT falling for that again! Get out before I pound you again!" Bowser said as he menacingly approached Fawful. He threw a punch...which Fawful easily avoided. Bowser repeatedly tried to punch Fawful, but to no avail. Finally, Fawful reached into his pocket and pulled out a special spray. Bowser got one whiff of the spray and fainted instantly. Fawful chortled and Marik laughed and pointed.
"Haha! He fell on his back! Now he can't get up!" Marik laughed. Fawful pulled out a machine and pressed the button. Bowser didn't even feel it as he was sucked into the portal. The two stood there triumphantly. But then their expressions changed when they came to a realization.
"Oh crap!" Marik shouted. "We sent him to the wrong place! Son of a bitch! Now the Count is going to take away my leather pants for a whole week!"
"Thinking....is something I did not do. I have nervousness." Fawful said.
"Why are we working for the count, anyway? Aren't we trying to conquer our worlds?" Marik asked.
"We are providing relief of the comic variety." Fawful said. "Questioning it is stupid."
"YOU'RE STUPID!" Marik snapped. The two started sissy fighting.
__________________________________________________________________________________ "eeeeeeeeeeeEEEEEEEEEE!" Tristan finally stopped saying whee as he and Joey landed facefirst on solid ground. They calmly stood up and looked around. Joey noticed they were in a forest. An extremely scary looking forest. The trees loomed over them, and it was pitch black. There were all kinds of horrific growling sounds, and the sounds of creatures being eaten. There was a bear that was quite possibly even bigger than Godzilla walking around in the background, pausing to uproot a tree and eat it whole. And there were bones. Bones everywhere. But while Joey was looking around in sheer terror, trembling in his shoes, Tristan wasn't focusing on ANY of that. He was looking at the most horrific, terrifying, mind numbingly scary creation ever made right at his feet. "Oh my God..." Tristan said. Then, he picked up the ungodly abomination. It was.....a plate of cookies. "THESE ARE OATMEAL!!!!!!" Tristan shouted in anguish. "NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!" Joey turned to look at Tristan with a deadpan look in his eyes.
"Tristan, you're an idiot." Joey said. "Oatmeal cookies are aweso-Wait, are those raisins?" Tristan nodded nervously. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" Joey screamed. Soon, the two of them were screaming no at the sky. After about 5 hours, another portal opened above the forest. Krillin was spilled into the forest, hitting the branches of about 9 trees. He landed headfirst on the ground and moaned in pain.
Krillin Owned Count: 3
Krillin slowly got to his feet. He shook his head and looked around. He noticed Joey and Tristan. "Hey, you two!" He said. He already had their full attention. "Where the hell are we?"
"We're in a land full of ponies, griffins and dragons!" Tristan shouted stupidly. Joey and Krillin looked at him with deadpan expressions.
"Not a clue." Joey said with a shrug. "But I want outta this creepy forest before we get eaten by one of them giant bears."
"What giant be-" Krillin started, only to get stepped on by the same bear that had passed by earlier. The bear looked annoyed at the fact that it stepped in something and scraped its foot across the ground. Krillin was screaming like a little girl. The bear finally got fed up and held its foot in its hand. It picked off an extremely dirty Krillin and threw him to the ground, where he landed facefirst in a mud puddle. Then it walked away.
Suddenly, a third portal opened up in the air. Achmed screamed as he was spilled out. Luckily for him, he landed safely right on top of Krillin.
"Holy crap! What the hell was that?" Achmed shouted. "And why did I land on a Hobbit?" He gasped. "I'm in Lord of the Rings! Yaaaay!"
"No you're not. There ain't no giant bears in Lord of the Rings." Joey said.
"There aren't?" Tristan asked, genuinely shocked. Everybody stared at him.
"So who the hell are you people?" Achmed asked as he got off of Krillin and onto safe ground.
"I'm Joey, and this idiot here is Tristan." Joey answered.
"And I'm Krillin!" Krillin said after he spat the mud out of his mouth. "Who are you?"
"I...am Achmed. I am a terrorist. A very efficient terrorist."
"Wait, I saw you in the news. Didn't you blow yourself up answering your cell phone while getting gas?" Krillin asked.
".....Noooo......" Achmed said, looking away in shame. He then muttered "Damn it" quietly enough so nobody could hear.
"So now that we all know each other, I say we get the hell out of this forest!" Krillin said nervously.
"Yeah, how hard can it be?" Joey asked.
2 hours later....
The group of four were dragging themselves across the forest floor, panting heavily, sweating and covered in cuts, bruises and wounds. Except Achmed, he just had to lost a leg to Tristan and was currently dragging himself across the ground in an attempt to get to him. Suddenly, they saw something that thrilled them all so much that Tristan, Krillin and Joey's injuries miraculously disappeared and they got up and ran toward the town, Tristan dropping Achmed's leg in the process. Achmed angrily put his leg back on and ran after the others. They looked around. The town was very quiet. They walked for a few minutes and were about to give up hope. Finally, they heard a voice.
"Excuse me!" They turned around and were shocked to see a purple unicorn standing there, looking at them. They stared at her for a few seconds and she stared back. Her eyes were brimming with curiousity, and she was smiling, possibly excited to see a new species. They were so surprised by this pony that they almost didn't notice the small purple dragon standing next to her. The pony finally decided to break the ice. She did so by saying "What are you?" Joey, Krillin and Achmed exchanged glances while Tristan still stared, this time with a look of utter glee on his face. This was gonna be a weird day...
The group looked at the unicorn in shock and confusion. Then, finally, Tristan spoke up.
"A pony!" He grabbed Joey by the shoulders. "See, Joey?! I told you there would be ponies!"
"He's not familiar with our kind either!" The unicorn said excitedly. "This is great! I've discovered a new species! We have to get them to the library! I have so many questions to ask!" The dragon nudged her in the side.
"Twilight. We have work to do, remember?" He said.
"But Spike! It's a new species! I need to learn about them!" Twilight whined.
"Ride the pony!" Tristan randomly shouted.
"Wha-" The unicorn was promptly interrupted by Tristan jumping on her back. "AGH!" She struggled to stay on her feet.
"Giddy up, pony!" Tristan said. The unicorn weakly started walking forward, her legs trembling under Tristan's weight.
"Get....off....me......" She said.
"I think you should stop riding, Tristan." Krillin said. "It looks like she's in pain."
"That's what she said." Achmed immediately responded.
"Ha! Good one Achmed!" Joey laughed. The two high fived. Meanwhile, the dragon was rolling on the ground laughing. Finally, the unicorn managed to get Tristan off of her back by levitating him off with her magic. She looked at him with an annoyed expression and levitated him gently back to the other three.
"Well, I can't say that was an enjoyable experience, but I guess I should thank you for snapping me out of it and fixing my priorities." She said with a smile.
"Priorites? Whattya talkin about?" Joey asked with a raised eyebrow.
"I know! Let's use a flashback!" Tristan said casually. The others looked at him in confusion...then jumped back in fear and amazement as the unicorn's letter to some kind of princess and journey to Ponyville played in the sky, as if it were on a projector. After it ended, Tristan clapped. "That was the best movie ever!" He said. The others looked at him in confusion.
"So you're supposed to check on this "Summer Sun Celebration" thingy?" Joey asked.
"And make some friends?" Krillin asked.
"And read about the scary thing that wants to take away the sun?" Tristan asked.
"And blow everything the f*ck up?" Achmed asked. Everyone looked at him in confusion. "Sorry, force of habit." Twilight shook her head.
"Yes. ....To the first three questions." She said the last part while giving Achmed a suspicious glance, to which he responded by shifting his eyes back and forth nervously. "Where did you come from, anyway?"
"More flashbacks!" Tristan said as the entire first chapter of this very story played in the sky, minus Bowser's part.
"Wow. Those three were very suspicious." The unicorn said, raising an eyebrow and putting a hoof under her chin intellectually. "I wonder what they meant by "chosen ones....".
"I think we're gonna go on a great adventure, and make lots of friends to save all worlds from a big black hole that will suck everything up and turn it into a blank white void that has nothing but a little bit of debris scattered around and scary music! Unfortunately, the Sammers Kingdom is screwed, which sucks because it has awesome music. But its okay! After we beat up the robot Luigi and the butterfly and man get married, it'll come back perfectly fine! By the way, SPOILER ALERT!" Tristan said casually as the others stared at him. The dragon turned to Joey.
"Is he normally this strange?" He asked.
"Just another day in Tristanland." Joey replied, rolling his eyes. The unicorn turned to the group and smiled.
"Well, I don't believe we've been properly introduced." She said. "I'm Twilight Sparkle, and this is Spike."
"I'm Joey. And the idiot is Tristan."
"Ice cream tastes better with hot sauce!" Tristan said randomly.
"I'm Krillin." Krillin said with a smile.
"And I.... am your worst nightmare." Achmed said. He tried his best to look scary and made a deep low throated growl. "Are you scared?" He asked, with an innocent smile. Twilight's eyes shifted back and forth awkwardly and Spike snickered.
"Not really, no." Twilight said. Achmed made an even deeper growl.
"And now?" He asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Nnnnot really, no." Twilight said as Spike turned around to hide his giggling. Achmed practically roared.
"How about now?" He asked, almost desperately.
"No." Twilight said as Spike just lost it and burst into loud, uncontrollable laughter.
"Son of a bitch!" Achmed shouted as he crossed his arms and pouted. Tristan gasped.
"That's a no-no word!" Tristan shouted, sounding as if he was close to tears.
"I agree." Twilight said with an annoyed expression, thankful that Spike didn't hear over his laughter. She sighed and smiled at the four. "Well, if you ARE chosen ones, I guess I can't leave you stuck outside. I suppose I could let you stay with me for the time being."
"Really? You'd do that?" Krillin asked in surprise. Twilight shrugged and nodded.
"That's real nice of ya!" Joey said. "Say thank you, Tristan."
"Thank you!" Tristan said happily.
"Yay! I get to sleep somewhere that's not a cave or a suitcase that smells worse than Saddam's mustard gas!" Achmed said, jumping for joy.
"Okay, okay." Twilight chuckled. "But first... Spike and I need to check on the preparations. You're all welcome to join us if you want."
"Sure, why the heck not. Meet some more ponies, sounds like fun!" Joey said.
"I hope we make lots of friends!" Tristan said.
"I wish I had nice friends..." Krillin muttered.
"Friends give both my life and afterlife meaning!" Achmed said. Then he muttered under his breath "At least they would if I had any..."
"Ugh... Enough about friends, let's just go!" Twilight said.
"Come on, Twilight." Spike said. "The letter told you to make some friends."
"Spike, the fate of Equestria does not depend on me making friends!" Twilight said, rolling her eyes.
"Aw c'mon." Joey said. "Maybe these ponies have interestin things to talk about!" Suddenly, they saw a pink pony bouncing down the road, smiling and with her eyes closed.
"Give it a try or I keel you!" Achmed said. Twilight glared at him, then turned awkwardly as the pony stopped.
"Um... Hi?" Twilight said awkwardly. The pony responded by jumping into the air and gasping dramatically, then dashing off at supersonic speed.
"Well that was interesting." Twilight said.
"I like her!" Tristan said. "She's like Jimmy from Science Class! And that guy on Third Street!"
"Ugh... Let's get this over with...." Twilight muttered. And with that, they were off.
The group of six were walking. Screw exciting introductions. They were just walking.
"So where do we go first?" Joey asked, his hands casually stuffed in his pockets.
"Well, first we need to check on the food, being prepared at Sweet Apple Acres." Spike answered, looking over his checklist.
"Can we get ice cream after?" Tristan asked.
"No, Tristan." Twilight said.
"Awww...." Tristan said, looking down.
"Aw, lighten up Twilight!" Joey said.
"Yeah, ice cream would be great!" Krillin said.
"I want ice cream now..." Spike muttered.
"I hate ice cream!" Achmed said in annoyance. "It goes right through me!"
"Well, good for you Achmed, because we're not getting ice cream." Twilight said. Then she smiled and came to a stop. "Oh good, we're here."
"How can you tell?" Tristan asked. Twilight gave him an "Are you serious" look and pointed at a large glowing neon banner that said "Sweet Apple Acres." "I still think we need more proof." Tristan said, closing his eyes and putting a finger under his chin intellectually. Twilight rolled her eyes and motioned for the others to follow, which they did.
"This is a nice farm." Krillin said, looking around.
"Yeah, the apples look real tasty." Joey said.
"I hate apples." Achmed said. "They go right through me too." Suddenly, they heard a voice.
"YEEEEEHAAAAAW!" The voice said. They all turned around to see an orange pony running at a tree. She quickly turned around and gave it a good, strong kick, causing all the apples in the tree to fall neatly into buckets. She looked over and saw the heroes. She gave them a questioning look, then noticed Twilight. "Well, if that pony over there can keep em under control, they can't be all bad." She thought. Twilight sighed deeply.
"Let's get this over with..." She muttered. She put on a smile and she and the boys walked up to the orange pony. Twilight introduced herself. "Good Afternoon! I'm Twilight Sparkle. This is Joey, Tristan, Krillin, Achmed and Spike." She pointed at each boy as she introduced them. "We're here to...." But she didn't get to finish, as the orange pony had grabbed her hoof and started shaking it roughly.
"Well howdy doo, Miss Twilight!" The pony said in a thick Southern accent. "A pleasure makin your acquaitance. I'm Applejack. We here at Sweet Apple Acres sure do like makin new friends!" She stopped shaking Twilight's hand [Not that it made Twilight stop shaking] and went over to Spike, then started shaking his hand. "Howdy there, little pardner! Good to meet ya!" She left Spike rapidly shaking his hand and approached Joey. "Joey, hmm? That ain't a name I've heard before..."
"Yeah, well, I kinda gathered when the creatures I've met so far are named after a crappy book series, somethin that kills me every time on Mega Man and a breakfast cereal, names like Joey or Bob or Joe aren't gonna be close by." Joey said, his voice quaking as Applejack shook his hand. She released him, leaving him to karate chop air, and approached Tristan.
"Well, aren't you a skinny one?" She said as she shook his hand.
"H-h-h-e-e-y-y, I l-l-like being ski-i-i-inny." Tristan said as his hand was shaken nonstop. Applejack left him and went to Krillin.
"You're a bit on the short side, ain't ya?" Applejack said kindly as she shook Krillin's hand. After she released him, the force that he was using to chop the air actually propelled him forward.
"Oh God! AHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" Krillin screamed as he chopped an apple tree and got buried in apples.
"Nice to meet ya too!" Applejack said obliviously. Krillin groaned.
Krillin Owned Count: 5
Applejack then approached Achmed. She blinked and looked at him in concern. "And I thought Tristan was skinny! You're all bone!" She said.
"It's because he's dead." Joey said from offscreen.
"I am NOT dead!" Achmed snapped. "It's a flesh wound!"
"Well, anyway, it's nice to meet ya'll Achmed!" Applejack grabbed Achmed's hand and shook it once... and Achmed's arm immediately popped out of its socket. Applejack dropped it and jumped back, and everyone managed to get their arms to stop shaking so they could stare at the disembodied arm in shock, the most shock coming from Achmed. He finally looked up to glare angrily at Applejack.
"I KEEL YOU......" He said dangerously. "I keel you till you're DEAD!" Applejack took a few steps back and looked back to the others, who shrugged. She looked back to a still glaring Achmed. "That's worse." Then he looked back down at his arm and looked at everybody sadly. "Can somebody put it back on?" He asked pitifully.
"Let's see here...." Twilight said as she levitated the arm into the air. She squinted as she looked closely at Achmed's socket. And she gently put his arm back in. "What are all those markings on your arm?" She asked, tilting her head.
"I don't want to talk about it." Achmed shuddered. Twilight turned around, gave Achmed a concerned look, and turned to Applejack, who smiled.
"So, what can I do ya for?" She asked, winking. Twilight cleared her throat.
"Well, I am in fact here to supervise preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration." She said.
"And then we're getting ice cream!" Tristan said from offscreen.
"No we are not." Twilight said, still looking at Applejack, with a deadpan expression.
"You're no fun!" Tristan shouted, still offscreen. Twilight rolled her eyes.
"So you're in charge of the food?" She asked.
"We sure as sugar are!" Applejack said proudly. "Would you care to sample some?"
"YEAH!" Everybody but Achmed shouted.
"Whatever..." Achmed muttered. Tristan, Krillin, Joey and Spike looked at Twilight with pleading looks, and she sighed.
"Fine..." She muttered. "As long as it doesn't take TOO long..." And with that, Applejack dashed away and rang a bell.
"SOUP'S ON, EVERYPONY!" She shouted.
"EveryPONY?" Achmed asked. "That sounds like something one of my wives would say."
"ONE of your wives?" Twilight asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Yeah, I have 46 wives. They all wear the same thing and their faces are always covered." Achmed answered casually.
"How d'ya tell em apart?" Joey asked.
"The numbers on their backs." Achmed answered.
"That's terrible!" Twilight said in shock.
"I know, Mother's Day is a bitch!" Achmed said angrily. "And so are over half of the wives...." Suddenly, the ground started shaking. "Oh no.... THEY HEARD ME!" And with that, Achmed started screaming like a little girl. Then everyone got stampeded by ponies. They somehow ended up at a table, surrounded by ponies.
"Now, why don't I introduce y'all to the Apple family?" Applejack said. And with that, she introduced every single solitary member of her family so fast, the only ones the group could remember were Apple Bloom, Big Macintosh, and Granny Smith. And that all of the names had something to do with apples. Tristan was quick to point this out.
"But you're ponies, not apples!" Tristan said, genuinely confused. Everybody in the Apple family stared at him.
"Ignore him." Joey, Krillin, Achmed, Twilight and Spike said in unison.
"Aaaaah." Everypony in the Apple family nodded in understanding.
"Why I'd say they're already part of the family!" Applejack said cheerfully. Twilight spat out the apple she had been eating. She started shoving the rest of the group away from the table.
"Weeeeell, I can see the food situation is handled, so we'll be on our way. Bye!" Twilight said nervously.
"Aren't ya gonna stay for brunch?" A small voice asked. They all turned around to see Apple Bloom giving them the most adorable big eyed stare any of them had ever seen.
"AGH, MY OVARIES!!!" Krillin shouted as he fell over.
"WHAT?!" Joey and Achmed shouted in amusement. They burst into loud laughter.
"Hey, I misspoke, alright?!" Krillin snapped. They all looked back at the young pony.
"Well?" She asked quietly. "Aren't ya?"
"Sorry." Twilight said, clearly resisting the urge to hug the filly. "But we have an awful lot to do."
"Awwwww....." Everybody but Twilight and Achmed looked down sadly. Achmed looked around with a wide eyed stare while Twilight looked around, trying to fight the urge to stay. But she lost that fight.
"Fine..." She muttered, rolling her eyes. Everybody but Twilight and Achmed cheered.
3 hours later...
"Ugh.... I had too much pie..." Joey said, grabbing at his stomach.
"That's what he said." Krillin said.
"Gay." Achmed said.
"I still want ice cream." Tristan said.
"No ice cream!" Twilight said in annoyance.
"But ice cream is my life! Next to children's card games of course.... even though I never play..." Tristan said. Twilight facehoofed.
"Spike, what's next?" She asked.
"There's supposed to be a pegasus pony named Rainbow Dash clearing the clouds." Spike said, looking around. Everybody else looked around as well.
"Well, she ain't doin a very good job, is she?" Joey said. Suddenly, something crashed into him from the side, sending both him and the culprit flying into a mud puddle. The culprit was a blue pegasus with a rainbow mane. She stood up and looked down at Joey, lying facefirst in the mud. Joey pulled his face out of the mud, wiped it off of his face, and looked at the sky.
"BROOKLYN RAAAAGE!" Joey shouted. The pegasus laughed nervously.
"Um...excuse me?" She giggled. "Let me help you." She flew off and came back with a raincloud, which she held over Joey's head. She then proceeded to jump on it repeatedly, making it rain on Joey's head. She looked over and saw that Joey was soaked to the bone.
"BROOKLYN RAAAAAAAAAAGE!" Joey shouted angrily. The pegasus giggled again.
"Whoops. I guess I overdid it. Um...uh.... how about this?" And with that, she started flying around Joey at top speed, creating a rainbow tornado. "My very own patented....rainblow dry!" She finished the tornado and closed her eyes proudly. "No, no. Don't thank me. You're quite welcome." She said as she landed gracefully. Joey cleared his throat, causing her to look over at him. His hair was a mess, all tangled up with tree branches and bird nests sticking out of it. The pegasus burst into loud laughter and started rolling around on the ground, as did Spike, Krillin and Achmed. Even Twilight giggled. Tristan was too busy daydreaming about ice cream to notice.
"BRRRRRROOOOOOOOKLYYYYYYYN RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGE!" Joey shouted at the sky.
"So let me guess?" Twilight said, rolling her eyes. "You're Rainbow Dash." The pegasus immediately stood up and posed.
"THE one and only!" She said. "Why? Ya heard of me?"
"I HEARD you're supposed to be keeping the sky clear." Twilight said in annoyance. She sighed. "I'm Twilight Sparkle, and the princess sent me to check on the weather." Oh, and she introduced everyone else too, I'm just too lazy to write it in.
"Yeah, yeah." Rainbow Dash said, waving a hoof at her while reclining on a cloud. "I'll get to that in a minute. Just as soon as I'm done practicing."
"To defeat Dr. Eggman?" Tristan asked. Everybody stared at him. "What?"
"Noooo...." Rainbow Dash said. She then pointed at a poster. "The Wonderbolts! They're performing at the celebration tommorow! And I'm gonna show em my stuff!"
"Whoa! Too much information, lady!" Joey said, holding his hands above his chest defensively. Rainbow Dash rolled her eyes.
"I MEAN I'm gonna show em my tricks!" She said.
"Who are these....Wonderbolts?" Achmed asked with a raised eyebrow. "Sounds like something they would use in the bomb factory." Rainbow Dash gasped and got right in Achmed's face, causing him to widen his eyes and step back.
"You don't know THE Wonderbolts? They're ONLY the most talented flyers in all of Equestria!" She said in utter bewilderment.
"Ha! If you're as good as you say they are, there's no chance in hell that they'll let in someone who can't keep the sky clear for one measly day!" Joey said smugly. Rainbow Dash gave him a death glare as she got right up in his face.
"Hey, I could clear the sky in ten seconds flat!" She said.
"Prove it." Joey said, crossing his arms and smirking. Rainbow Dash glared at him and flew off to take out the clouds. She hit them with karate chops and flew through them with loop de loops, destroying them upon impact. Joey's jaw practically hit the floor upon realizing how long it took her to do it.
"Like I said." She said smugly. "Ten. Seconds. Flat. I'd never leave Ponyville hangin."
"Actually, that was 9.59 seconds." Twilight said.
"Even...better?" Rainbow Dash said, scratching her head. She looked over at Joey and laughed at the expression on his face.
"You should see your face!" She giggled. "You guys are a laugh! I can't wait to hang out some more." And with that, she flew off.
"She's amazing!" Spike said.
"She's badass!" Achmed said.
"She's cool!" Joey said.
"She's fast!" Twilight said.
"She's hardcore!" Krillin said.
"She's blue!" Tristan said. Everybody stared at him. "What?" Then he got a look at Joey's still messed up hair. He gasped and pointed. "Oh my God! That's exactly what I wanna look like!" Boy, if looks could kill, Joey would be in jail. He angrily started walking.
"So where do we go next, Twilight?" Krillin asked.
"Well, we have to check on the decorations." Twilight answered. "I think it's at Carousel Boutique, right Spike?"
"Right!" Spike answered. Soon, they were at the Boutique.
"So....beautiful....." Spike said dreamily.
"Yeah, these are some nice lookin decorations." Joey said.
"Not them!" Spike said in annoyance. "Her." He pointed at a white unicorn with a purple mane, fussing over ribbons. Everybody except the white unicorn looked down at Spike and noticed he had hearts for eyes.
"Um.... you might wanna get that checked." Achmed said uncomfortably. Spike shook his head.
"How are my spikes?" He asked. "Are they straight?" Suddenly, Troll from =3 appeared out of nowhere.
"Your spikes are fake and gay." And then he disappeared, leaving behind a caption that said "A Big Lipped Alligator Moment!" After everybody recovered from the confusion, Joey tried to approach the unicorn.
"Nyeh, excuse me." He said.
"Just a moment please." The unicorn said politely as she turned around. "I'm in the zone, as it were." She tied a ribbon to a pole and applied some sort of sparkly substance to it to add effect. "Oh yes, sparkle always does the trick, wouldn't you agree?"
"Not if ya apply it to vampires." Joey said.
"Why, whatever do you mean, darling?" The unicorn said, turning around with a raised eyebrow. "I've never heard of such a thi-" She didn't finish on account of the face that she screamed when she saw Joey.
"Oh great." Joey muttered. "Someone who's actually scared of us." He was surprised when the unicorn approached him.
"Oh my stars, darling! Whatever happened to your mane?" She asked.
"Nyeh? My mane?" Joey asked, scratching his head. Then he came to a realization. "Oh ya mean my hair! Long story. We're just here to check on the decorations. Then we'll be outta your hair."
"Out of MY hair?" The unicorn said, bewildered as to how he can be so calm about this. "What about YOUR hair?" Then she immediately ran behind Joey and started shoving him into another room.
"Ow! Hey, watch where you're stickin that horn!" Joey said irritably.
"Terribly sorry, darling." The unicorn said as she adjusted her head. Soon, she and Joey were in the other room.
"Well, let's get out of here." Twilight said as she turned for the door.
"NO!" Spike shouted. Everybody turned to look at him in surprise and he looked around awkwardly. "Uh.... I mean we can at least wait for Joey, right?" Twilight leaned toward him.
"To be honest, I don't want to." She whispered in his ear.
"But Princess Celestia told you to make friends." Spike whispered back. "So far, these guys are all you've got." Twilight sighed.
"I guess you're right." She said in defeat. She went to sit on a chair in a corner along with the other three. Spike turned away and snuck a fist pump.
__________________________________________________________________________________ "Too green." The unicorn said as she had Joey in a leprechaun suit.
"Too yellow." She said as Joey wore a yellow jumpsuit.
"Too poofy." She said as Joey wore a big poofy pink dress and a large pink polka dotted hairbow. Before she could change him though, Joey interrupted.
"Wait!" He said as the unicorn came back with a suit and tie. "I uh....kinda like it." He said sheepishly. The unicorn's mouth and eyes widened with shock, causing her to drop the suit on the floor.
"Darling, darling, darling. Trust me when I say that this is simply not the style for you." She said, putting a hoof around his shoulder. Then her eyes widened. "I've got just the thing!" She ran off in excitement and came back with....the exact same outfit Joey was wearing from the beginning.
"Why thank you. I simply put your clothes in the wash." She said with a shrug.
"So then why'd ya keep me here?" Joey asked. She shrugged.
"I just needed a break from the decorations."
"Ah. Neat." Joey answered.
"So I uh...suppose you're free to go." She said.
"Oh. Cool." Joey said. The unicorn tapped a hoof on the ground and Joey rubbed the back of his head. They turned to look at each other.
".....Wanna hang out?" Joey asked.
"Well, if you insist." The unicorn replied with a smile.
5 hours later....
Joey and the unicorn, who's name he had learned as Rarity, laughed. They had really hit it off.
"So, tell me darling, where are you from?" Rarity asked before sipping her tea.
"Well, I'm from Japan, yet for some reason I have a Brooklyn accent." Joey said. He sipped his tea and scratched his head. "Where AM I from?"
"Well, I'm sure it doesn't matter. You're happy where you live, right?" Rarity asked.
"Yeah." Joey shrugged.
"Well, there you go!" Rarity said with a smile. "You know, I love Ponyville and all, but I've always wished I could live in Canterlot."
"Canterlot?" Joey said. "Can't quite say I've heard of that."
"Oh, it's absolutely amazing, darling. The glamour, the sophistication, the constructionwork! It's simply divine." She sipped her tea and smiled at Joey. "We're going to be the best of friends you and I."
"Yeah." Joey nodded. Suddenly, a loud knocking sounded on the other side of the door.
"JOEY!" Achmed's voice sounded from outside. "Get out here or I kick your ass!"
"Whoa! Looks like I lost track of time! Sorry, Rarity! I gotta go!" Joey said.
"Keep in touch, darling." Rarity called after him. She turned and smiled. "What a nice young man."
Joey walked out of the room to see an extremely agitated Twilight glaring at him. "Nyeh, hey Twilight, how ya doin?" He asked.
"YOU'VE BEEN GONE FOR FIVE HOURS!" Twilight shouted as she teleported in front of Joey and stretched her neck up to his eye level.
"Nice to see ya too, Twi!" Joey said, handwaving her clear annoyance.
"Ugh." She nudged Krillin, Tristan and Spike. "Wake up you three, it's time to go. You too, Achmed."
"Okay, just let me...." Achmed began, clearly trying to place something inside a plant.
"No. Come on." Twilight said.
"Just one second!" Achmed said.
"No. Now." Twilight said, clearly losing her patience.
"But..." Achmed whined.
"Do you WANT me to write to Princess Celestia? There's a moon with your name on it!" Twilight threatened. Spike crossed his arms and rolled his eyes.
"She's not like that Twilight." Spike muttered.
"I was just gonna hide her broach in this plant as payback for keeping us waiting...." Achmed muttered as Twilight shoved them all out the door.
"Can we get ice cream now?" Tristan asked.
"WE ARE NOT. GETTING ICE CREAM." Twilight said, poking Tristan in the chest for emphasis.
"STOP CRUSHING MY HOPES AND DREEEEEEEEEAMS!" Tristan sobbed. Twilight rolled her eyes. "So what's next, Spike?" She sighed. Spike was too busy leaning against her back, sighing dreamily. "SPIKE!" Twilight snapped.
"Huh? Oh yeah! Music!" Spike said.
"Okay, let's finish everything up and go to the library already!" Twilight said in agitation. Suddenly, they heard the sound of birds chirping a victorious sounding tune. They all peeked through the bushes and saw a yellow pegasus directing a chorus of birds. Suddenly, one of them got slightly offkey.
"Oh my." The pegasus said quietly. "Um... stop please, everyone." She flew up to the offkey bird. "Excuse me sir." She said as the bird gave her a questioning look. "I mean, no offense, but... your rythm is just a TEENY, TINY bit off." The bird smiled and nodded. The pegasus smiled and flew back. "Now follow me please. A one, a two, a one two three...."
"It's a baby panda!" Tristan shouted loudly from offscreen, startling the pegasus and scaring off all her birds. Joey thumped Tristan in the back of the head, eliciting an "Ouch!"
"Stay back, guys, and let Krillin handle this!" Krillin said confidentally. He approached the pegasus. "Hey there. My name's Krillin. The idiot who called you a baby panda is Tristan. The blonde is Joey, the dead guy is Achmed, and the unicorn is Twilight. We came to check out the music, and it was great! You're doing pretty good here." The pegasus shyly stepped back and hid behind her mane. "Um..... what's your name?" The pegasus mumbled something incoherently. "I'm sorry, what?" More mumbling. "Hm.... I've heard sometimes when people act like this, they have a dark, troubled, painful history. Were you abused as a child?" The pegasus whimpered and Joey threw a rock at the back of Krillin's head for asking such a stupid, offensive question. "Um... sorry. I'll just be leaving now. Your birds are back anyway." He reapproached the group.
"Well, that was quick." Twilight said.
"Why didn't you introduce me?" Spike said in annoyance as he stepped out from behind the bush. Fluttershy immediately noticed him, and her demeanor instantly changed.
"A baby dragon!" She shouted. She flew at top speed to Spike, knocking over Krillin in the process. "Oh I've never seen a baby dragon before! He's so cute!"
"Well, well, well!" Spike said, crossing his arms and smiling smugly.
"Oh my!" The pegasus said excitedly. "He talks. I didn't know dragons could talk. That's just so incredibly wonderful I-I just don't even know what to say!" This prompted Joey to grab Spike so they could walk away.
"Kay thanks bye." Joey said, not wanting to incur Twilight's wrath. He set Spike on Twilight's back.
"Wait!" The pegasus said. "What's his name?"
"His name is Bobbert." Achmed said quickly.
"Bobbert? That's a strange name." The pegasus said.
"My name is NOT Bobbert!" Spike said, glaring at Achmed. "It's Spike!
"Hi Spike. I'm Fluttershy." The pegasus said happily. "Wow... a talking dragon. What do dragons talk about?"
"Well.... what do you wanna know?" Spike asked.
"Absolutely everything." Fluttershy said. Twilight gasped, Tristan picked his nose and Joey, Krillin and Achmed screamed like little girls.
7 hours later....
"And that's the story of my whooooole life." Spike concluded. "Well, up until today. Do you wanna hear about today?"
"No she does not!" Achmed said angrily.
"Oh, yes please!" Fluttershy said excitedly. Suddenly, Twilight turned around.
"I am so sorry!" She said. "How DID we get here so fast? This is where we're staying while we're in Ponyville, and my pooor baby dragon needs his sleep."
"No I don-" Spike attempted to interject, but Krillin knocked him out by hitting him on the back of the head with a tree branch. Twilight glared at him.
"Awww, isn't that adorable? He fell asleep on Twilight's ba-OW!" For Twilight had smacked Krillin upside the head with the same tree branch he had used to knock out Spike.
Krillin Owned Count: 6
Fluttershy scooped the unconscious Spike up in her forelegs. "Poor thing. We must get him to bed!" She attempted to fly into the library, but Twilight pulled Spike out of her legs with her magic. She pushed the other boys inside.
"Oh, you just leave that to me! Bye!" And with that, she slammed the door. It was pitch black in there.
"It's pitch black in here!" Twilight said. "Let's split up and try to find the light switch. Then I can study up on the Elements of Harmony."
"Got it." The boys said. They all split up.
"Ow! Who stepped on my foot?"
"Son of a bitch! My arm fell off!"
"Hey Twilight, can we get ice cream now?"
"NO!"
"YOU'RE NOT NICE!"
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Krillin screamed as he fell down the stairs.
Krillin Owned Count: 7
"Damn it! My leg fell off too!"
"Nyeh, this is giving me rage of the Brooklyn variety!"
"I still want ice cream."
"TRISTAN, DROP IT!"
"NEEEEEEEEEVEEEEEEEEER!"
Suddenly, the lights turned on. "SURPRISE!" A whole bunch of voices sounded off simutaneously. The group looked around in surprise, and in Twilight's case, sheer terror. There were decorations set up everywhere, and a whole crowd of ponies wearing party hats. Twilight groaned while the boys looked around in delight.
"Surprise!!!" The pink pony shouted as she appeared right in front of Tristan's face. Tristan smiled. "Hi! I'm Pinkie Pie, and I threw this party just for you!"
"That was nice of you!" Tristan said with a smile.
"Were you surprised? Were you? Were you? Huh? Huh? Huh?" She asked.
"If I said yes, would you help me get my limbs back on?" Achmed said from the floor, his arm inside the punch bowl and his leg in Joey's hair.
"Okey dokey lokey!" Pinkie said as she quickly grabbed Achmed's limbs and reattached them all in the span of ten seconds.
"Holy crap! Why can't Jeff do it as fast as you?" Achmed said, rolling his eyes. Suddenly, Pinkie got in his face with a huge smile, causing his eyes to widen and look back and forth like a frightened lizard.
"So were you surprised?" She asked.
"...... I almost peed myself." Achmed said quietly. Everyone in the room started laughing. "SILENCE!" Achmed snapped, shutting them all up. "I keel you!"
"Soooo..... were any of you surprised?" Pinkie asked with a bright smile.
"Well, I was." Twilight said in annoyance. "Libraries are supposed to be QUIET." She started walking away, but everyone else followed.
"That's silly! What kind of welcoming party would it be if it were QUIET? I mean, DUH! BO-RING!" She said.
"Yeah, Twilight. Quiet sucks. Loud noise is where it's at. Just ask my family! We get sued every week for keeping the neighbors up!" Tristan said proudly.
"Even I'M not that loud.... NEW LIFE'S GOAL!" Pinkie said happily.
"I could help you with that." Tristan said.
"Me too." Achmed said slyly. "I know something that makes LOTS of noise."
"Drums?" Pinkie asked.
"Wha-NO!" Achmed said.
"Pots and pans?" Tristan asked.
"No!" Achmed said again.
"Fireworks?" Pinkie asked, tilting her head.
"No." Achmed said, rolling his eyes.
"Ice cream?" Tristan asked with a wide smile.
"What?! That doesn't even make sense!" Achmed snapped.
"Yes it does!" Tristan said defensively.
"No it doesn't!" Achmed snapped.
"Ice cream makes noise when it hits the ground!" Pinkie said.
"Yeah, but it's kinda quiet eh?" Joey asked.
"Yep! But noise is noise!" Pinkie said happily.
"I like noise." Tristan said.
"Me too!" Pinkie said, bouncing with excitement. "So what are your names? And why are there talking people here? I thought they were only in that little filly's show My Little Human!" She asked.
"You have that here too? Yaaay!" Tristan said happily.
"We ain't got nothin like that!" Joey said. "We have that there Care Bears crap..."
"Ugh! Don't remind me!" Achmed said in disgust. "Why don't they just blow that evil wizard the f**k up?"
"What is it with you and blowing stuff up?" Joey asked.
"Well, it gets rid of the problem, doesn't it?!" Achmed snapped.
"Confound these ponies... They drive me to drink." Twilight thought as she poured a liquid into a cup and gulped it down.
"That's hot sauce!" Tristan said. "I love hot sauce!" Nobody noticed as Twilight ran upstairs.
"I hate it." Achmed said.
"Lemme guess." Joey said. "It goes right through ya?"
"How did you know?" Achmed said, legitimately surprised.
"Lucky guess." Joey said. Then Krillin walked up to join the group, covered in bumps and bruises.
"Yeah, I'm okay. Thanks for asking." He said bitterly. Suddenly, Pinkie pulled a plate of cupcakes out of nowhere.
"Whoooo wants cupcakes?" She said happily. "I made them with Mr. and Mrs. Cake. They're in charge of Sugarcube Corner where I live and work, and they love to help me with my parties, and so does my pet alligator Gummy, he' SOOO helpful with the balloons and the punch, have you tried the punch yet, I have, it's really really good, I made it with...."
"Confound this pony. She drives me to drink." Krillin said, as he poured liquid into a glass and downed the whole thing in one gulp.
"Nyeh, that's still hot sauce." Joey said.
"Can I have some? Either that or ice cream?" Tristan said.
"GODAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Krillin screamed as he ran off to the punch bowl.
"I don't know how he got more hot sauce." Pinkie said with a raised eyebrow. "There was only one bottle and the purple party pooper drank it all."
"Wow. Bad luck." Tristan said as Krillin downed a glass of punch.
"So what ARE your names, anyway? It's important to know your names if we're gonna be friends!" Pinkie said cheerfully.
"Oh yeah!" Joey said. "Name's Joey. This is Achmed..."
"Yo homie."
"........Never again, Achmed."
"Kay."
"And this is Tristan."
"I want ice cream."
"And the bald one is Krillin."
"OH GOD I CAN STILL TASTE IT! IT BUUUUUUURNS!"
"Ugh.... What happened?"
"Ah! Spike's awake!"
"Huh? What's going on here?"
"And the unicorn is Twilight Sparkle." Joey concluded.
"Twilight SPARKLE?" Pinkie asked. "Not like the book with the vamponies right?"
"Of course not! Worst book series EVER!" Tristan said.
"I know right?" Pinkie asked.
"What are you guys talking about?" A raspy voice asked. The group of six turned to see Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity and Fluttershy approaching with smiles on their faces.
"Oh hey guys! Good to see ya again!" Joey said, nodding at Rarity who smiled in return. "We were talkin about some kinda book about "vamponies."
"I've heard of that series." Applejack said. "Nothin but bad things about it. ..... We're talkin the sparkly ones, right?"
"Yup!" Tristan said.
"I don't read. Nor will I ever!" Rainbow Dash said, spreading her forelegs to emphasize it. By the way, EPIC FORESHADOWING!
"Oh, it's not so bad." Achmed said.
"I didn't think you'd be a reader, Achmed." Spike said.
"Well, um, yeah man, what the hell?" Achmed muttered.
"Ya don't read, do ya?" Applejack said with a raised eyebrow.
"I've read!.....Twice......" Achmed said in defense.
"What book?" Krillin said, crossing his arms.
"..... The Cat in the Hat......" Achmed said, looking down in shame.
"Is that really all, darling?" Rarity asked.
"Well, there's also the suicide bomber handbook!" Achmed said triumphantly. "It has lots of pretty pictures, plus a thing on the back where you get to color a picture of Osama Bin Laden!"
"Wait.... You're a terrorist?!" Rainbow Dash said, getting right in his face.
"Um.... Yeah...... But I'm not GOOD at it....." Achmed said nervously. "The only person I've ever killed was myself. Plus that inflatable virgin...."
"What's virgin mean? I wanna know what that means! It's a word that I don't know the meaning of, which makes me curious!" Pinkie said.
"It means...." Tristan began.
"You don't know what it means, Tristan." Joey said, rolling his eyes.
"I do too!" Tristan retorted. "It's a space station, right?"
"Um... sure Tristan." Joey said.
"So.... Fun party, huh?" Rainbow Dash asked, trying to change the subject.
"Yeah. Almost as fun as the time Tristan and Tea took care of that puppy for Science class." Joey said.
"Oooh, I love puppies!" Fluttershy said. "But... Why was it fun if YOU weren't doing it?"
"Because of what happened when they had to give it back." Joey replied.
"Roll flashback!" Pinkie said.
Rolling Flashback
"I'll miss you, Tristan Jr.!" Tristan sobbed as the teacher took the puppy away. Tea rolled her eyes.
"For the last time, you idiot, his name is Friendly McFrienderson the Third!" She said.
"You are never supportive of me!" Tristan said. "I work hard at a construction site for seven hours a day to provide for you and you call me names and overrule our sons name!"
"You spent the entire time crying over how you wish Serenity was your partner." Tea said, rolling her eyes.
"Because she would make a better wife than you!" Tristan said bitterly.
"What are you talking about? We were never married!"
"That's it! I wanna divorce!"
"BUT WE WERE NEVER MARRIED!"
"Stop yelling at me!"
"This is getting intense!" Yugi said, leaning in closer.
"You said it." Joey said, doing the same.
"I am totally going to make a movie out of this." Kaiba thought. "But I'm going to replace them both with Blue Eyes White Dragons. And they eat the puppy." Kaiba smiled at the thought, and an offscreen YIP! was heard.
"Tristan Jr., no!"
"For the last time, it's... Ugh.... forget it...."
Ending Flashback
"H-He killed the puppy?" Fluttershy asked pitifully.
"Yeah." Tristan said. "We had a funeral, then Tea and I got divorced. She didn't talk to me for a few months after that...."
"Okay, well, um.... I think we should change the subject, wouldn't you agree?" Rarity asked.
"Please do..." Fluttershy said softly.
"I KNOW! LET'S ALL PLAY SOME GAMES!" There was a resounding cheer all throughout the room.
Celldweller based title FTW! Although I wish they had used the vocal version of the song during the fight with Brandon in Dead Rising 2.... Eon is awesome!
Twilight tossed and turned, trying to muffle the sounds of the party. She groaned. Suddenly, the door opened. Joey walked in, wearing a lampshade on his head.
"Nyeh, hey Twilight, we're playin pin the tail on the pony! ...I just realized how strange that sounds.... You should totally join us!"
"NO!" Twilight snapped. "Everypony in this town is CRAZY! Don't they have any idea what time it is?"
"It's only eight, Twilight." Joey said.
"AND IT STARTED AT 12 IN THE AFTERNOON!" Twilight snapped.
"And it's gonna end tommorow afternoon! We're continuing right after that Sun Celebration thingy! Lighten up, Twi. It's a party." Joey tried to convince her.
":JOEY! IF YOU DON'T HURRY UP, I'M TAKING YOUR TURN!" Krillin's voice sounded from downstairs.
"That bastard!" Joey shouted. He ran down the stairs as fast as he could. There was a loud crashing sound, followed by the sound of breaking glass.
"Owwwwwww......." Krillin moaned.
"Sorry." Joey said casually. Twilight rolled her eyes.
"I thought I'd have time to learn about the elements of harmony, but silly me! All of this silly friend making has kept me from it!" She said in annoyance. Suddenly, she heard a loud crashing noise.
"Tristan, you broke her clock you fool!" Achmed shouted in annoyance.
"Um.... Noo.....It jumped.: Tristan said nervously. Twilight buried her face in her pillow and growled. She looked at the moon, got up and went to the window. Then she started talking to herself.
"The legend says that on the longest day of the thousandth year, the stars will aid in her escape, and she will bring about everlasting night. I hope the princess was right. I hope it is just an old ponytale." She said sadly. Suddenly the door flew open to reveal Tristan.
"Hey Twilight! Stop talking to yourself! It's time to watch the sun rise!" He said, wearing a lampshade on his head.
"Tristan, how do you have a lampshade on your head?" Twilight asked. "I only saw one lamp." Suddenly, Joey ran up to them.
"Tristan! Gimme back my lampshade!" He said angrily.
"No! It's mine now!" Tristan said. Joey chased him down the stairs. Twilight sighed.
30 minutes later
Everyone was at the place where the Summer Sun Celebration was taking place. Pinkie immediately ran up to Tristan.
"Isn't this exciting?" She said excitedly.
"Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-"
"Are you excited, cause I'm excited, I've never been so excited, well except for the time that I saw you walking into town and went GASP, but I mean really, who can top that?"
"-aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!" Tristan concluded at the same time Pinkie did. The birds music sounded and the spotlight shined upon the mayor.
"Fillies and gentlecolts-" She began.
"Wait a minute!" A male voice shouted from the audience. "Did you just call us 6 year olds?"
"Um... No." The mayor said nervously. "I was just..."
"It should be mares and gentlestallions, shouldn't it?" A female voice said.
"That's... not how we...." The mayor began.
"Yeah, it should." Another voice sounded out.
"...... Okay. Can I please continue?" The mayor said, looking unamused.
".....Sorry." The three voices said.
"Ahem...As I was saying, as mayor of Ponyville, it is my great honor to announce the beginning of the Summer Sun Celebration!" The cheers were thunderous. "In just a few moments, our town will witness the magic of the sunrise, and celebrate this, the longest day of the year." Twilight nervously looked at the moon and was terrified to see the mare in the moon disappear. "And now.... it is my great honor to introduce to you the ruler of our land." Achmed nervously hid behind Twilight. "The very pony who gives us the sun and the moon each and every day.... The good....the wise...the bringer of harmony to all of Equestria....Princess Celestia!" Fluttershy got her birds to start their song, and Rarity pulled down the curtain to reveal....nothing.
"This....can't be good." Twilight said nervously.
"Oh thank God!" Achmed shouted with relief. "No prison for me!" Everyone glared at him. "Um.... I mean, oh no, who would do such a thing." Everyone started talking to each other nervously.
"Remain calm everypony, there must be a reasonable explanation!" The mayor said.
"Ooh! She wants to play hide and seek!" Pinkie said.
"I know! Let's look for her!" Tristan said. "Blue can help us, right Blue?" He turned to look at the ground beside him. "Thanks Blue!" And with that, the two left to hunt for the princess, deciding that a tablecloth with a blue liquid spilled on it was a clue and taking it with them. Rarity leaned over the balcony.
"She's....gone!" She said in disbelief. There was a large gasp, and a brief silence, except for the offscreen voice of Tristan singing "We are looking for Blues Clues, we are looking for Blue's Clues...." Suddenly, Pinkie gasped, and both she and Tristan were back in the crowd.
"But we didn't get to Blue Skidoo yet!" Tristan complained. Then he noticed the figure that had appeared on the stage.
[Insert Dimentio's theme here]
"And so I arrive! Like a leaf releasing itself from its branchy prison!" The figure said. Achmed stepped forward and glared daggers at the figure.
"You!" He snarled.
"Ah, what have we here? It's the human dry bones! He has such anger. Like a man who stubbed his toe on the stairs."
"Shut it you asshole!" Achmed snapped. "I keel you so freaking hard, you'll be in the heaven angels go to when they die!"
"You are a fool. I have a vast arsenal of magical abilities." Dimentio replied.
"Well, so does Twilight!" Spike said smugly, much to Twilight's dismay.
"Is that so?" Dimentio said with an infuriatingly pleasant tone.
"You bet it is! So you better leave, or she'll kick your ass!" Krillin said.
"But I am not here to harm you." Dimentio said calmly. "We simply came to deliver a message."
"We?" Twilight asked.
Suddenly, another figure fell from the sky and landed on the stage, grunting in pain when he landed.
"AGH! God damn it, Dimentio! At least give me a pillow or something to land on!" He said.
"My apologies, Marik." Dimentio apologized with a bow. "I will be sure to give you something of the.... soft, cushiony variety before we teleport next time."
"Damn right you will!" Marik snapped.
"But his injuries give me chortles!" A third voice sounded as a third figure floated down on some sort of machine.
"I have disagreement. Everybody enjoys my company because my grammar is funny." Fawful retorted.
"Well I find it annoying!" Marik snapped.
"Well you also have stupidity." Fawful said. "Of the most stupid variety."
"Take that back or I'll feed you to O'Chunks you stupid bean!" Marik snapped. The two started sissy fighting. Rainbow Dash interrupted their epic fight to the death.
"What have you done with our princess?" She snarled. She tried to fly at them, but Applejack held her back by the tail. Marik and Fawful followed Dimentio's example and looked directly at her.
"The bigger question is.... what HAVEN'T I done with the princess?" Marik said smugly. Then he burst into loud laughter. "Y'see, it's funny because I'm evil." Twilight gasped.
"You pig!" Rarity shouted.
"You beast!" Krillin snapped.
"You lucky bastard!" A random pony in the audience shouted. Everyone but the three villains turned to glare at him. "Um.... I mean.... how dare you?" He said, giving a cheesy smile.
"Where is the princess?" Twilight snapped, glaring at the three.
"Why, can't you tell?" Dimentio said. "We do not have your sun princess. We do not know anything of her whereabouts. But Nightmare Moon will know plenty! For she is the one who will probably know!"
"N-Nightmare Moon.... I knew it." Twilight said, looking at the ground.
"Well!" Fawful exclaimed. "Seems one of them has knowledge! She clearly read the book that tells of the Mare stuck in the cold lonely moon!"
"Quite right, my little beany friend." Dimentio replied while patting Fawful on the head, much to the latters annoyance. "I do hope you ponies, people and skeletons have enjoyed this day, for it will be your last! For Nightmare Moon has brought eternal night! And thus the night will last forever!"
"Why are we working with Nightmare Moon, anyway?" Marik asked.
"Because the count gave the orders, shut up." Fawful replied. The two started sissy fighting again.
To be continued....
Well, that was an interesting way to end the chapter..... How will this crisis be solved? Who is Nightmare Moon? [Like you don't know.] Where the hell is Bowser? And seriously.... Is Tristan EVER gonna learn how to brush his teeth? The last one is never gonna happen, but you'll find out the answers to the others soon enough!
The mayor glared at the evil trio. "Seize them! They know where the princess is!" She shouted, pointing a hoof at them. Marik and Fawful stopped sissy fighting and the evil trio looked at her with deadpan expressions.
"Um... No. We told you flat out that we have absolutely no idea where she is. Only Nightmare Moon does." Marik said flatly.
"Oh." The mayor said. "Well um.... seize them anyway! They're working for the princess's foalnapper!" Three guards flew at the trio. Dimentio snapped his fingers and the guards were knocked down by an explosive force. The trio laughed.
"And now, my good friends, we must make our leave. Ciao!" And with that, Dimentio snapped his fingers, causing him and Marik to disappear in a puff of smoke. Fawful looked at where they disappeared wide eyed, then at the ponies. He shrugged and flew out the door at a high speed with his hovercraft. Rainbow Dash flew after him, and she was catching up.
"Come back here!" She said when she was right behind him. Fawful turned around with a grin.
"I don't have any craving to go back over there." He said. "But you seem famished. Have a sandwich of the knuckle variety!" And with that, a boxing glove popped out from behind the hovercraft, nailing Rainbow Dash right in the face.
"WHOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!" Rainbow Dash shouted as she was sent flying backwards, spinning uncontrolably. She crashed into a tree, flattening herself like a pancake. She flew off the tree and shook her head, then glared at the retreating Fawful as she tried to follow him. But she knew it was hopeless. Even if she had caught him, his freaky friends would probably come save him. She stopped. After he was out of sight, she looked at the ground and sighed. "Nighttime forever...." Her head snapped forward as she noticed Twilight running out of the building. "Where's she going?" Dash mused, raising an eyebrow in suspicion.
Meanwhile.....
Twilight gently tucked Spike into his bed and quickly went downstairs.
"Elements, elements.... How can I stop Nightmare Moon without the Elements of Harmony?!" She said, leafing through books in a panic.
"And just what ARE the Elements of Harmony?" Twilight backed up slightly as Rainbow Dash flew into her face, glaring at her. "And how did you know about Nightmare Moon, huh? Are you a SPY?!" Suddenly, she was pulled back.
"Hey now, not cool Dash!" Joey said. "She ain't no spy!"
"Yeah! If she was she'd tell us!" Tristan added.
"Stop talking Tristan." Achmed said in annoyance.
"Okay." Tristan said.
Joey, Tristan, Krillin, Achmed, Applejack, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Rarity and Fluttershy all approached Twilight.
"Okay, Twilight. I meant to ask earlier... what the hell is going on here?!" Krillin almost shouted. Twilight looked at the group and sighed.
"I read all about the prediction of Nightmare Moon." She began as the group, for some reason, formed a circle around her. "Some mysterious objects called the Elements of Harmony are the only things that can stop her. But... I don't know what they are.... where to find them.... I don't even know what they do!"
"The Elements of Harmony... a reference guide!" Pinkie Pie said as she looked at the book. Twilight ran up to the shelf so fast she accidentally knocked Pinkie into the wall.
"Where did you find that?!" Twilight almost shouted.
"It was under eeeeee!" Pinkie said cheerfully, bouncing past her. Twilight facehoofed.
"Oh." She said. She levitated the book off the shelf and opened it, as the others read behind her back.
"There are six elements of harmony... but only 5 are known. Honesty, kindness, laughter, generosity and loyalty. The sixth is a complete mystery. It is said that the last known location of the five elements is the ancient castle of the Royal Pony sisters." Twilight read. Little did they know, someone was listening.
"Hmhmhmhm.... I believe I've seen that castle before. It is old, much like O'Chunks's mother." Dimentio said to himself, grateful that O'Chunks wasn't around to hear. "I shall have a few.... surprises waiting for them." And then he snapped his fingers and vanished.
"Um... Twi? Why'd ya stop reading?" Applejack asked, tilting her head.
"Something didn't feel right.... Like we were being watched....." She turned to the window and shook her head. "I'm sure it's nothing..." And she continued reading. "It is located in what is now...." The ponies looked at the forest they were now inexplicably in front of and said, simutaneously, "The Everfree Forest!"
"Hey! We teleported!" Tristan said happily.
"The Everfree Forest? That's kinda lame." Joey said. "Why not.... Black Woods? Or Dark Jungle? Or..."
"Okay, we get it Joey." Krillin replied.
"Wheeee! Let's go!" Pinkie said.
"Hooray! It'll be just like that movie!" Tristan said.
"Which one?" Joey asked.
"The one I'm talking about right now." Tristan replied as he and Pinkie started walking into the woods.
"No!" Twilight said, causing them to freeze in their tracks. "Look... I appreciate the offer, but I'd really rather do this on my own."
"Yeah, that's not happenin, Twilight." Joey said as he walked into the forest.
"That's right sugarcube." Applejack added. "We ain't letting any friend of ours go in there alone."
"Yeah." Achmed added. "We're sticking to you like that bomb I put on Walter's bed." Everybody stopped and stared at him. "..... I used superglue so he can't take it off. ..... It probably won't even go off...." At this point everyone decided to ignore him and keep walking. Twilight watched them, then sighed in defeat and followed them.
10 minutes later...
"So... have any of you been here before?" Twilight asked nervously.
"Everyone who's not a pony." Joey replied.
"Yeah, it sucked..." Krillin muttered.
"Oh, you poor things!" Said Fluttershy. "What happened?" Achmed answered.
"Well, first Krillin got stepped on by a giant bear, and then...."
45 minutes later...
"......and that's when we finally came out of the forest." Achmed finished telling to the story to his highly disturbed comrades in an extremely upbeat and cheery tone. Twilight, Applejack and Rainbow Dash stared in shock, Fluttershy looked like she was about to faint, Joey had actually broken down in tears and was being comforted by Rarity, and Krillin sagged his shoulders, used to horrific experiences. The only ones who were unaffected were Pinkie and Tristan, who actually applauded Achmed's story. Achmed bowed. Joey calmed down after about five minutes, and they continued walking.
"So no ponies have been in here?" Krillin asked.
"Heavens no!" Rarity answered. "Just look at it! It's dreadful..."
"We know from experience!" Achmed exclaimed. "Especially what that manticore did to Joey.."
"I've been trying to forget about it thank you!" Joey snapped. Rarity put a hoof on his shoulder.
"Relax darling..." She said softly. Joey smiled.
"And it just ain't natural!' Applejack said. "Folks say that this place don't work the same as Equestria."
"Wh-what's that supposed to mean?" Twilight asked nervously.
"Nopony knows!" Rainbow Dash said in an eerie voice. "Y'know why?"
"Rainbow, quit it!" Applejack snapped. Joey leaned down and whispered something in Achmed's nonexistent ear. Achmed grinned and nodded.
"Because everypony who's ever come in... has never.... come.... OUT!" Rainbow Dash concluded.
"Wait, what about us?" Krillin asked.
"She said everyPONY, Krillin." Joey said in an eerie voice. "Besides.... I think she's right. There's a bone right HERE!" And with that, he whipped out an object, causing Rarity, Fluttershy and Krillin to reel back screaming. Ironically, the most high pitched scream came from Krillin. Dash, Joey and Achmed laughed.
"Oh man, sorry about that, but that was just perfect!" Joey said between breaths.
"Yeah, sorry." Dash said.
"Can I have my arm back?" Achmed asked. Joey put Achmed's arm back into its socket.
Meanwhile, while all this was going on...
[Dimentio's theme plays]
"Ah yes, the first obstacle of my little doom course." Dimentio said happily to himself. "O'Chunks, my good friend. Are you ready to inflict hazardous chaos upon these fools?"
[O'Chunk's theme plays]
"Ya bet yer mask I am!" O'Chunks replied as he approached the cliffside. He and Dimentio looked up in confusion. "Oi. where's that music coming from?"
"Oh, it's probably Fawful playing his records in inappropriate places again." Dimentio replied. "Now then, my chunky friend, do away with this cliffside and we shall leave." O'Chunks nodded and punched the cliffside as hard as he could. The rumbling was all the sign Dimentio needed to snap his fingers and take the two of them back to the castle.
Meanwhile, back with our heroes....
Everyone stumbled as they felt the ground they were standing on tremor.
"Tristan, please tell me that was your stomach." Joey said nervously.
"Nope! I'm not hungry!" Tristan replied happily.
"Then what made the ground-" Twilight was cut off as the cliffside crumbled, causing everyone but Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash to fall off the cliff. Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash gasped.
"Fluttershy, quick!" Dash shouted before she flew down to save them.
"Oh my goodness... Oh my goodness...." Fluttershy panicked as she flew down after them. Rainbow Dash managed to get a hold of Rarity and Joey, while Fluttershy saved Pinkie and Tristan. Applejack grabbed onto a tree branch with her mouth. Achmed slid by and grabbed her tail. Twilight and Krillin slid all the way down, hanging by the edge of the cliff. Applejack noticed this and motioned for Achmed to climb onto her back. Achmed nodded and did just that.
"Hold on! We're comin!" Applejack said as she slid down.
"Jesus Christ, my arm's about to fall off!' Achmed said in annoyance. The two finally reached the bottom, where Twilight and Krillin were hanging. Applejack grabbed Twilight's hooves and Achmed grabbed Krillin's hands.
"OH GOD! WHAT DO WE DO?!" Krillin shouted as he kicked at the air in panic. Applejack looked up, then looked down at the two.
"Let go." She said simply.
"Are you CRAZY?!" Twilight said, looking at her wide-eyed.
"No I ain't." Applejack replied. "Let go, and I promise you'll be safe."
"THAT'S NOT TRUE!" Krillin shouted. "THAT IS THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF TRUE!"
"Now listen here." Applejack said gently. "What I'm telling you is the honest truth. Let go and you'll be safe." Twilight and Krillin exchanged nervous glances.... and let go. They screamed as they fell. Suddenly, Twilight felt something holding her up. She looked over to see Rainbow Dash holding her up. She sighed with relief... then gasped.
"What about Krillin?!" She said loudly.
"Relax." Dash said. "Fluttershy's got it."
"Okay... I just have to catch him...." Fluttershy stuck out her forelegs to catch Krillin.... but she was off by a few inches. Krillin screamed as he saw the approaching ledges. He hit a ledge and started bouncing down them, grunting in pain each time.
"Oh no! Snakes!" Krillin shouted just before he landed on a ledge full of rattlesnakes. BOUNCE!
"Oh no! A campfire! AHH-Oh hey, there's Jimmy from Science class." BOUNCE!
"Oh no! Landmines!" Krillin landed on the landmines that were there just to screw with him, and he went flying into a tree at the bottom of the cliff. Fluttershy was by his side in an instant, her face fraught with worry.
Krillin Owned Count: 8
"I'm SOOOOOOOO sorry Krillin! Are you okay?! Do you need medical attention?! I can help you! I can make you all better! I can-" Krillin gently put a hand over Fluttershy's mouth.
"Don't worry. I'm fine. I'm always fine for some odd reason... Well, except that one time where I died...." The rest of the group ran up. Applejack ran up to Krillin and helped him to his feet.
"I'm mighty sorry about that, sugarcube! You okay?" She asked, concerned.
"Yeah, I'm fine." Krillin replied with a shrug. "So uh... What's next?"
"We have to keep moving." Twilight said. The group nodded.
Meanwhile.....
Bowser trembled with not just rage, but actual fear. He was all alone in this forest, no minions, lost, tired, hungry and sick of fighting off monsters. Suddenly, another manticore appeared in his path. Bowser growled viciously.
"I... AM SICK.... OF YOU UGLY..... THINGS!" Bowser snarled through clenched teeth. The manticore tried to make a swipe at him, but Bowser ducked and punched the manticore in the face, causing it to reel back slightly. It roared again and tried to pounce Bowser, but he ducked, and the manticore landed on his spiked shell. It roared in pain and jumped about 50 feet in the air. When it came back down, Bowser approached it and punched it in the gut 3 times before picking it up by the back legs and spinning it around at top speed eventually throwing it over the horizon. It landed headfirst in a mud puddle. Bowser panted and proceeded walking. Suddenly, he heard a gasp. He turned around and growled. Standing there was 6 ponies, three humans and a skeleton, all looking at him nervously.
"What the hell is that?" Achmed asked. "It looks like Walter's wife!"
"SHUT UP!!!" Bowser roared, causing them all to step back nervously. "Ugh! NOW THE SMALLER ONES ARE GANGING UP ON ME! THIS ISN'T FAIR! GRAAAAAAH!" He started hitting his head against a tree. "I WANNA GO HOME! I WANNA GO HOME! I WANNA GO HOME!" He stopped hitting the tree and panted heavily. "But first... I'm gonna have to take these darn creatures out of the picture!" He turned and glared at the group viciously. "I'M GONNA TAKE ALL OF YOU DOWN! THAT'LL TEACH YOU TO MESS WITH ME!!!" Everyone but Fluttershy got into a defensive stance.... and then they charged.
"No...wait..." Fluttershy said softly... But she went unheard, as the fight began.
Bowser snarled as he rushed at the group. He tried to throw a punch at Twilight, but they all dodged. Rarity kicked him in the gut.
"Take that, you ruffian!" She said. Bowser glared at her and grabbed her by the tail. He then proceeded to pull a Mario by spinning her around by it, culminating in him letting go, sending her flying into Krillin. Achmed stepped in next.
"Wait." Fluttershy said again, still unheard.
"All right, you oversized turtle!" Achmed said as he pulled a bomb from out of nowhere. "I'm gonna blow your ass up!" Achmed threw the bomb, but Bowser breathed out a stream of fire to blow it up while it was still out of range. He then threw a screaming Achmed against a tree, causing his parts to go flying and hit the others. Applejack approached him and smirked. She then proceeded to pull out a rope and create a lasso. She tossed it at the disgruntled koopa.... but he simply grabbed it. Applejack stared in surprise, not letting go of the lasso. This gave Bowser the oppurtunity to attack: He started slamming Applejack into the ground repeatedly, before tossing her into the side of a cliff. Pinkie tried to take him out by firing a cannon at him.
"Take this, Meanie McMeanieshell!" Pinkie shouted as she shot a weird assortment of objects: A stick, a car, an ice cream cone, a coin, a chicken, the SEARS tower, Justin Bieber and Nappa.
"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!" Nappa shouted as he flew towards Bowser. Bowser punched away the stick, causing it to go flying all the way back to Pinkie, hitting her on the head. He ducked the car, causing it to smash into Krillin and send them both flying into a tree, the car exploding on impact.
Krillin Owned Count: 9
Bowser was about to burn the ice cream cone, but Tristan grabbed it from the air and ate it in one bite, then ran away. Bowser instead burned the chicken, causing it to run away. He ducked the SEARS tower and it smashed through the trees. Justin Bieber screamed like a little girl as Bowser caught him and threw him across the horizon, where he was mauled by a manticore. And Nappa disappeared in a flash of light before Bowser could do anything to him. Bowser shrugged and tossed a large boulder into the cannon, causing it to explode and send Pinkie flying back.
"Hey Tristan, let's gang up on him!" Joey said. "You take the left side, I'll take the right!" Tristan nodded and the two of them ran at Bowser, before splitting up and approaching him from either side, both ready to land a punch.
"W-Wait!" Fluttershy said, more forceful but still unheard.
Just as Joey and Tristan were within punching distance, Bowser curled up into his shell and spun around, sending them reeling away. Rainbow Dash made her move, flying around Bowser at super high speeds, creating a rainbow colored tornado. Bowser felt his balance failing, so he glared at the technicolored whirlwind until he caught a glimpse of the pegasus. He watched the spot a few times, and noticed a pattern in her movement. He smirked and reeled back his fist, waiting to strike. He saw his opportunity and punched, sending Rainbow spinning out of control. Krillin got to his feet and ran up to Bowser. He did an uppercut, causing Bowser to reel back slightly, grabbing his jaw and roaring in pain.
"Haha! I did it!" Krillin shouted, jumping for joy... only to hit his head on a tree branch and knock himself out.
Krillin Owned Count: 10
Bowser rolled his eyes and turned his attention to the last remaining opponents. Twilight glared at him and charged, her horn backed up by magic.
"Wait!" Fluttershy said desperately. But Twilight wasn't listening. Bowser attempted to hit her with his fire, but she teleported forward, avoiding it entirely. Bowser threw a punch, knocking her back. Twilight attempted another charge, but Bowser shoved her away easily. She finally landed a hit, shooting a ball of energy that she probably won't use again for a long time into his eye, sending him reeling back. The others got back up shakily and regrouped with Twilight.
"Good job, Twilight!" Applejack said with a smile.
"Yeah, not bad for an egghead!" Rainbow said.
"Thank you girls!" Twilight said with a nod. Bowser regained his vision and roared at them furiously. "Now let's take care of him and get moving." And with this, they all charged at the oversized turtle. But before the fight could continue....
[Music stops]
"WAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT!!!!!!!!!!" Fluttershy shouted, causing them all to stop in their tracks. Then, Fluttershy turned and slowly approached the koopa king.
"What are you doing?!" Bowser snapped. "I'm trying to clobber you here!"
"Shh. It's okay." Fluttershy consoled before nuzzling Bowser's arm, much to his dismay. "We're not here to hurt you."
"Noooo. I'M here to hurt YOU!" Bowser snapped, moving his arm away.
"No you're not." Fluttershy said soothingly. "You just feel bad right now." Bowser roared.... only for Mario to come completely out of nowhere and jump on Bowser's head five times before disappearing in a flash of light, leaving behind a caption that said "A Big Lipped Aligator Moment" and an injured koopa king lying on the ground.
"Owwww...." Bowser said pitifully.
"Oh goodness! Are you okay?" Fluttershy asked, gently putting a hoof under Bowser's chin so he could look up at her.
"No." Bowser said bitterly. "I just got stomped on by a fat italian guy. You try doing that and being okay afterward!" He stood up weakly, and winced slightly.
"Don't worry." Fluttershy said gently. "I'll take care of you." Bowser turned to glare at her... but he thought about it. It was better than being stuck alone in the stupid forest. He sighed deeply.
"Fine." He said, crossing his arms. Then he turned to Fluttershy with a raised eyebrow. "Where are you going, anyway?" Twilight responded.
"We're going after those three creatures that are working for Nightmare Moon." She said. "I think their names were.... Dimentio, Marik and Fawful..." At the mention of Fawful, Bowser's eyes widened, then turned into a vicious death glare.
"Wait! You're going after FAWFUL?! Okay, let's go! I wanna give that little weasel the ol Bowser treatment!" He shouted, following everyone deeper into the forest. Twilight approached Fluttershy's side.
"How did you do that?" She whispered.
"He said he was homesick." Fluttershy said, equally as quiet. "The poor thing was probably scared to death all alone in here." Twilight smiled after her.
Meanwhile....
Nappa reappeared right next to Vegeta with a neutral expression on his face. Vegeta looked up at his partner in annoyance. "Nappa, where the hell did you disappear to?" He asked, crossing his arms and rolling his eyes.
"It was awesome Vegeta!" Nappa replied. "There were two unicorns, two pegasuses, two regular ponies, a skeleton, a bald midget and two teenagers fighting a giant fire breathing turtle! And the pink pony had a cannon! And I was ammo!" There was a long silence.
"Nappa, have you been getting into Guldo's LSD stash?" Vegeta asked.
Soon the group was walking through a muddy area of the forest. "Wherever did Pinkie and Tristan go?" Rarity asked, looking around in confusion. She was answered when a splatter of mud barely missed her, causing her to scream and hold Krillin in front of her like a shield. Pinkie and Tristan were laughing as they made mud pies. Bowser scoffed and walked up to them.
"Will you two COME ON already?" The annoyed koopa snapped. "How am I supposed to beat Fawful to a bloody pulp if you're sitting here playing in the mud?" And with that, he dragged the two away. They only approved of the ride.
"This is fun!" Tristan shouted gleefully.
"I know, right?!" Pinkie responded with a grin. Bowser grunted and rolled his eyes. Rarity sighed.
"My eyes need a rest from all this icky muck!" She said. Then they wandered into a very dark part of the forest.
"Be careful whatcha wish for Rarity." Joey said nervously.
"That ancient ruin could be right in front of our faces and we wouldn't even know it!" Twilight said. Soon it was chaos, as everybody kept bumping into one another.
"Ow! Who stepped on my tail?" Applejack snapped.
"My bad." Joey replied.
"Who stepped on MY tail?" Bowser snapped as Krillin jumped up and down, shouting in pain and clutching his foot. [Well Bowser DOES have spikes on his tail...]
"Hey! Who knocked my arm off?" Achmed snapped.
"Terribly sorry, darling." Rarity replied.
"Actually...um... I think that was me." Came Fluttershy's voice.
"No, no darling, it was undoubtedly me." Rarity replied.
"But I felt myself brush his arm..." Fluttershy said quietly.
"Damn it, I just realized I'm missing both arms!" Achmed said in exasperation.
"Well, that explains it." Rarity said.
"Ouch! Who stepped on my tail?" Tristan snapped.
"Tristan, you don't have a tail." Rainbow Dash pointed out.
"Yeah, you silly willy walnut head!" Pinkie said. "She stepped on MY tail." Twilight stifled a giggle from the ridiculousness going on around her.
Meanwhile....
Dimentio put a hand over his mouth and chuckled as he thought of his plan. "A little.... illusion might do the job." He chuckled. And with that, he snapped his fingers.
And now, back to the heroes!
"Aw geez, I think I stepped in something." Joey said in annoyance. His eyes had adjusted to the darkness, so he looked around. "Hey isn't this where Tristan stopped to...." Joey's eyes widened. "When we first got here...." Joey groaned in disgust. Fluttershy screamed.
"Nyeh? What's so scary about Tristan's..." Joey began.
"Nyeh?" Joey turned around and jumped back in terror. "NYEEEEEH!" The trees all had creepy faces on them. "Oh no! The trees aren't moving in the slightest, but they look really creepy! This is somehow a reason to stand in one spot and scream like little girls!" And so they did just that, except for Bowser, who crossed his arms and rolled his eyes, and Pinkie and Tristan, who were not onscreen. The others continued to scream like little girls, until they heard two laughs. They looked over to see Pinkie and Tristan laughing and making funny faces at the trees. Joey glared at them. "Whattya two doing?" He shouted. "Get over here and scream like little girls like the rest of us! And that goes for you two Bowser!" Bowser gave a deadpan expression and a fake scream. Pinkie giggled.
"Oh Joey. Don't you guys see?" Pinkie asked.
"Um... Where is that music coming from?" Achmed asked, looking around in confusion. What came next was not expected to say the least.
"When I was a little filly and the sun was going dooooown...." Pinkie sang. Bowser's eyes widened in horror.
"Oh no." He said in terror. "Please no. Tell me she's not really...."
"The darkness and the shadows, they would always make me froooooown." Pinkie continued.
"Um... Sorry Bowser, but...she is." Fluttershy said. Bowser groaned and facepalmed. And now Tristan took over.
"I'd hide under my pillow, from what I thought I saw... But my grandma said that wasn't the way to deal with fears at aaaaallll." He sang.
Bowser scoffed. "I'll say!" He pounded his fists together. "You gotta...." But Tristan interrupted.
"She said Tristan, you gotta stand up tall, learn to face your fears." And then Pinkie took over.
"You'll see that they can't hurt you, just laugh and make them disappeeeeear." And so Pinkie and Tristan laughed at a tree, causing the face to disappear. And they continued the rest of the song as a duet.
"Sooooo giggle at the ghosties."
Fluttershy giggled at a tree and Bowser irritably burned it down, much to Fluttershy's dismay.
"Guffaw at the ghostly..."
Joey and Rainbow Dash laughed at a tree, and branch fell down, narrowly missing Joey, causing the two to laugh even harder.
"Crack up at the creepy..."
Rarity and Achmed laughed at a tree, and then Achmed casually put a bomb in its mouth, causing it to explode.
"Whoop it up with the weepy..."
Applejack bounced off of Pinkie's back and laughed. Mario popped out of a warp pipe and laughed too, only to get burned by Bowser, causing him to run away and jump back into the pipe, leaving behind a caption that said "A Big Lipped Aligator Moment" and a laughing koopa king.
"Chortle at the kooky..."
Twilight and Krillin laughed at a tree, only for the face to disappear and the entire tree to fall on top of Krillin.
Krillin Owned Count: 11
"Snortle at the spooky..."
Everyone but Bowser laughed, and even Bowser smirked as he rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. And then, Tristan continued the song.
"And tell that big dumb scary face to take a hike and leave you alone and if he thinks he can scare you he's got another thing coming and the very idea of such a thing just makes you wanna...." Tristan gasped for breath and Pinkie giggled and took over.
"Laaaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuugh." And so everyone but Bowser collapsed to the ground in a fit of laughter, This continued for about 15 minutes while Bowser watched. After everyone stopped laughing, the only sound was the crickets. Bowser broke the silence.
"You know, we could have just walked past those trees." He said. Pinkie threw a hoof around his shoulders.
"Silly Bowsie." She said. "Where's the fun in that?" Applejack sighed and smiled.
"Good ol Pinkie Pie." She said. Twilight hid a smile.
So the heroes continued their quest, all laughing aside from Bowser. Suddenly, Krillin stopped laughing and pointed forward.
"Hey guys! Check out that river!" He said.
"Yeah. It's all splashy." Tristan said happily. "Let's play in the splashy water, Pinkie!"
"That sounds like a super-duper-mega-chocolatey fudge coated good time!" Pinkie exclaimed happily. They attempted to jump in the river, but Twilight held them back with her magic.
"We don't have time for that you two!" She chatised.
"Nyeh, look what's causing it!" Joey exclaimed. "It's an incredibly flamboyant sea monster!" And so it was, a large purple sea monster with orange hair and half a moustache sobbing hysterically.
"What a world! What a world!" It exclaimed.
"Excuse me sir!" Twilight said. "Why are you crying?"
"Well I don't know." The serpent replied. "I was just sitting here, minding my own business, when some strange creature wearing a tacky outfit and simply HIDEOUS mask flew up to me, said some words that simply BAFFLED me, and snapped his fingers, which somehow tore half of my beloved moustache clean off! And now... I look simply HORRID!" And with that he collapsed into the water and started sobbing again, causing a large wave to wash over the group, soaking them to the bone [literally in Achmed's case.]
"Oh give me a break'!" Bowser exclaimed, raising his arms.
"That's what all the fuss is about?" Applejack asked in annoyance.
"Why of course it is!" Rarity exclaimed. "How CAN you be so insensitive?"
"Because this guy is a big purple crybaby." Achmed muttered under his breath that he doesn't have. Rarity approached the serpent.
"Oh, just look at him. Such lovely luminescent scales!" She said.
"I know!" The serpent replied.
"And your expertly cared-for mane!" Rarity continued.
"Oh I know! I know!" The serpent replied, running a hand through his hair.
"Your FABULOUS manicure!" Rarity continued. The serpent gasped. "It's so TRUE!"
All ruined without your beautiful moustache!" Rarity concluded.
"It's true, I'm HIDEOUS!" The serpent concluded. Bowser muttered something about the serpent being a disgrace to reptillian creatures everywhere and got a disapproving look from Fluttershy.
"I simply cannot let such a crime against fabulousity go uncorrected!" And with that, she ripped off one of the serpents scales, causing him to scream in pain.
"What did you do that for?" He asked.
"Hey uh... Rarity, whattya..." Joey cut his sentence short and stared in shock along with everyone else as Rarity swung the razor sharp scale. The serpent collapsed to the ground. The camera zoomed in on Rarity's tail... which she cut off. She tossed the scale away and levitated her disembodied tail onto the serpents face, much to his surprise. He got back up and laughed with joy.
"My moustache! How wonderful!" He exclaimed.
"You look smashing!" Rarity said earnestly.
"Holy crap Rarity!" Achmed exclaimed. "You actually cut off your tail! Doesn't that hurt?"
"Oh. Not at all, my dear." Rarity replied.
"Well you seem to like fashion a lot." Krillin added. "Aren't you worried about this affecting your appearance?"
"No need to worry, darling." Rarity replied. "Um.. Short tails are in this season. And besides... it will grow back."
"So would the moustache." Rainbow Dash muttered in annoyance.
"Aww... Now the water's not splashy anymore..." Tristan said sadly.
"We can cross now!" Twiligt said as she jumped into the river. Suddenly, the serpent emerged from underneath her, creating stepping stones of some kind.
"Allow me." He said, motioning for the group to hop across him. He almost broke his bones when it was Bowser's turn. As the group continued walking, talking amonst themselves, Twilight smiled brightly, though nobody noticed.
"There it is!" Twilight exclaimed. "The ruin that holds the Elements of Harmony!"
"I think this calls for a singalong!" Joey exclaimed. "SpongePants SquareBob, he's a friendly little guy.... Hey Krillin, the bridge is out."
"Wha-AHHHHH" Krillin screamed as he fell off a very, very, VERY high cliff. He hit the ground, and for absolutely no reason an explosion occured.
Krillin Owned Count: 12
"I'll get him." Dash said. She flew down to the bottom of the cliff and helped Krillin onto her back. "What's with you and falling off cliffs today?" She asked.
"I think the question is what's with me and getting hurt period." Krillin muttered. Soon Dash and Krillin were at the top of the cliffside.
"Now what?" Achmed asked. Rainbow looked at him with a smile.
"Um...duh." She said, flapping her wings.
"How dare you duh me! I KEEL YOU!" Achmed snapped as Rainbow flew down, grabbed the rope and flew to the other side.
"Rainbow..." A voice said quietly.
"Who's there?!" Rainbow said in alarm.
"Rainbow..."
"I ain't scared of you!" Rainbow said as she stood on her hind legs and punched the air. "Show yourself!"
"We've been eagerly awaiting the arrival of the best flyer in Equestria." The voice said.
"Who?" Rainbow asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Why you, of course!" The voice replied.
"Really?!" Rainbow said excitedly. "I mean uh... yeah! Me! Uh... you wouldn't mind telling the Wonderbolts that, would ya? Cause I've been trying to get into that group for like, ever!"
"No, Rainbow Dash... we want you to join us! The Shadowbolts!" Three blue ponies wearing black and purple suits with lightning patterns emerged from the mist that I didn't mention until now. Rainbow Dash looked at them with a raised eyebrow. "We are the greatest flying team in the Everfree Forest. And soon we will be the greatest in all of Equestria. But first... we need a captain." Rainbow's eyes widened as she grinned with delight. "The most magnificent..."
"Yep!" Dash said.
"Swiftest..."
"Yes!"
"Bravest flyer in all the land."
"Yes! It's all true!" Dash said.
"We need... you."
"Woo-hoo!" Dash said, flying. "Sign me up!" She flew back towards the bridge. "Just let me tie this bridge real quick and then we have a deal."
"NO!" The Shadowbolt got right in her face. "It's them or us."
"Um... why?" Rainbow asked.
"What do you mean why?" The Shadowbolt said in annoyance.
"I mean it would take me like three seconds to tie this bridge. I don't see why..."
"Just make your decision." The Shadowbolt snapped.
"Yo Dash!" Joey's voice sounded from the other side of the bridge. "What's takin ya so long? Are you making a hard decision between your friends and your lifelong dream? Cause if you are..." The Shadowbolt glared at Joey, causing the mist to completely hide the rest of the group from view. Joey turned around and crossed his arms. "Well I WAS gonna tell her to do what she though was right in an extremely out of character fashion, but now forget it!"
"Well?" The Shadowbolt said. Dash frowned, closed her eyes, then looked at the Shadowbolt with her eyes narrowed.
"You." Dash said. The Shadowbolt grinned evilly. Then Dash flew close to her. "Thank you... for the offer." The Shadowbolts looked shocked as Rainbow tied the bridge. "But I'm afraid I have to say no." And with that, she flew off to the other side. The Shadowbolts scowled, and the middle one turned back into its original form: a young, green skinned girl with pigtails and a red dress. The other two were robots made by Fawful. Suddenly, Dimentio appeared again.
"You failed too I see, Mimi?" He said.
"Hmph! She wouldn't know a good offer if it hit her in the face with a baseball bat!" Mimi snapped.
"Well we must now make our leave." Dimentio said. He snapped his fingers, and they all disappeared.
Meanwhile, Rainbow got back to the other side of the bridge. Everyone cheered, and they all crossed the bridge.
"Way to do the right thing, Dash!" Joey said.
"You know it!" Dash said proudly. "I'd never leave my friends hangin!" Twilight smiled.
And so, the gang of eleven entered the castle. They stopped in front of a large pedastal containing five orbs.
"The Elements of Harmony!" Twilight sighed with relief. "We found them!" Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy flew up to grab them as Twilight urged them to be careful.
"Let's see here..." Joey said with a finger under his chin. "One, two, three, four... Hey, there's only five!"
"Didn't you say there were six, Twilight?" Krillin asked as he scratched his head.
"Yes, Krillin." Twilight replied. "The book said when the five are present, a spark will cause the sixth element to be revealed."
"What in the hay is that supposed to mean?" Applejack asked with a raised eyebrow.
"I'm not sure, but I have an idea." Twilight replied. "Stand back! I don't know what will happen..." As everyone stood back, Twilight started using her magic.
"Come on, y'all." Applejack said, motioning for everyone to follow. "She needs to concentrate." Everyone nodded and they all left the room. Twilight focused her energy on the elements. But then, a strange purple whirlwind swept around the elements, levitating them in the air. Twilight looked up and screamed.
"Twilight!" The rest of the group minus Bowser, who just looked confused, shouted.
"The Elements!" Twilight shouted as she jumped into the portal. The others ran toward her... but they were too late. She was gone. Everyone started talking all at once.
"What in tarnation?!" Applejack said.
"Where did she go?!" Pinkie Pie said, looking under bushes.
"What the hay happened to her?!" Rainbow Dash said from the sky, trying to get a bird's eye view.
"However did she just disappear?!" Rarity shouted.
"What happened?! Why is Twilight invisible?!" Tristan panicked.
Krillin was screaming like a little girl.
"Holy crap! She's totally gone! It's like the aftermath of an explosion, only less messy!" Achmed exclaimed.
".....Meh." Bowser said, crossing his arms.
"Twilight! Where are you?!" Krillin shouted when he finally stopped screaming.
"Yeah! We've got some work to do now!" Tristan added.
"Oh, you'll find her soon enough." A familiar voice sounded throughout the room. They all turned to see three familiar faces.
"Dimentio!" Achmed gasped.
"Dark skin guy!" Joey exclaimed.
"FAWFUL!!" Bowser roared.
"Yes, koopa klutz. It IS I. And Nightmare Moon currently has your friend in the room of grandness!" Fawful replied.
"So uh... basically she's in the throne room." Marik explained, totally ruining their cover and earning a kick to the shin from Fawful. "But you told them first, Fawful!" Marik whined.
"I was vague!" Fawful snapped.
"You're gonna pay!" Rainbow Dash shouted. She flew at the trio. Dimentio smirked.
"Well, my dear friends, I daresay we shall make our leave. CIAO!" And so Dimentio snapped his fingers, causing the trio to vanish and Dash to hit thin air and snort in anger.
"Well, what are we waiting for?!" Rarity exclaimed. "Our dear Twilight is in danger!"
"Let's go get her!" Pinkie said, uncharacteristically determined.
"I KEEL THE FOOL WHO KIDNAP TWILIGHT!" Achmed shouted, doing his best Mr. T impression.
"LET'S JUST GO!" Bowser shouted. "THIS COULD BE MY ONLY CHANCE TO CREAM FAWFUL!" And so the group marched up the stairs.
Meanwhile...
Twilight appeared in the middle of a room. She shook her head and gasped at the figure in front of her. It was a tall, black alicorn with blue armor around her hooves and the top of her head, and a cutie mark in the form of a crescent moon. Lightning crackled around her. Twilight lowered her horn and charged the alicorn, who looked unamused.
"You're kidding." She said. "You're kidding, right?" Twilight kept charging. Suddenly, a flash of light appeared in front of her.
"NM!" Marik shouted. "WE'RE BA-" He didn't get to finish as Twilight charged right through him, sending him flying into a wall, flattening him like a pancake. Dimentio and Fawful chuckled.
"Marik, I told you not to call me that." Nightmare Moon said before charging. The two ponies glared at each other. Marik, Fawful and Dimentio leaned in closer, intrugued by what was destined to be an amazing battle of epic proportions. The combatants drew nearer by the second. They were so close they could feel each other's breath. They prepared for combat... and Twilight vanished, reappearing on the pedastal containing the elements. Nightmare Moon turned around in shock, and the other three weren't exactly expecting it either. Twilight shook her head out of dizziness and knelt down towards the elements. "Just one spark...Come on....Come on....."
"STOP HER!" Nightmare Moon shouted. Dimentio snapped his fingers, causing Twilight to fly back, but it was too late.
"No!" Nightmare Moon gasped as the elements started glowing.
"Oh crap." Marik said. Fawful frowned with disappointment. Dimentio remained unaffected. But then, the elements stopped glowing, much to Twilight's horror.
"But...where's the sixth element?!" She exclaimed. Nightmare Moon laughed as the other three smirked. Then, the trio walked up to the pedastal. Marik and Dimentio grabbed two elements and threw them against the ground as hard as they could, and Nightmare Moon stomped on the fifth one. Twilight stared on in despair as the elements shattered in front of her very eyes.
"You little foal." Nightmare Moon exclaimed. "Thinking you could beat ME!"
"Foal? Really?" Marik asked, cringing slightly.
"Yes. Is there a problem, Marik?" Nightmare Moon asked in annoyance.
"No no! It's just a really bad pun is all." He replied.
"That is the grammar the ponies use, Marik." Dimentio cut in. "Don't be insensitive towards their grammar."
"Yes Marik." Fawful said. "Do not have insensitivity."
"Shut up, Fawful!" Marik snapped. The two started sissy fighting. Twilight wasn't paying attention to any of them.
"I failed...." She thought. "I'm sorry Princess Celestia..."
Then she heard voices. Familiar voices...
"Don't you worry, sugarcube! We're coming to help ya!" Applejack... Twilight thought.
"After we win, I'll throw the biggest, most super fun party ever!"Pinkie Pie...
"Hang in there, Twilight. We won't leave ya hangin!" Rainbow Dash...
"We're coming, darling!" Rarity...
"Nyeh, Twilight! You okay?!" Joey....
"After this, lets get ice cream!" Tristan...
"Hang on Twi-AGH!" Someone could be heard grunting in pain as they fell down the stairs. Krillin...
"I'LL KEEL YOU NIGHTMARE MOON! I KEEL YOU TILL YOUR DEAD!" Achmed...
"FAWFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUL! I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!" Bowser...
"Bowser, please don't use such language." Fluttershy....
"Yeah, Bowsie! Nintendo won't like it." Pinkie Pie again...
Twilight, with newfound hope, turned to Nightmare Moon with a smirk. "You think you can destroy the Elements of Harmony just like that?" She asked. The four villains exchanged glances.
"Um... yeah, pretty much." Marik replied.
"Well you're wrong!" Twilight exclaimed. "Because the spirits of the elements are right HERE!" And with those words, the rest of the Mane Six stepped by Twilight's side. Joey, Tristan, Krillin and Achmed stayed a few feet back, and Bowser immediately made a beline for Fawful. Fawful's eyes widened.
"Dimentio...I request that we go to the castle of Bleck." He said nervously.
"And so we shall leave! Like a tree in the fall."
"So long, suckers!" Marik said as Dimentio snapped his fingers and the terrible trio vanished, leaving an infuriated Bowser stumbling forward and faceplanting. Bowser roared at the sky while breathing fire.
Suddenly, the fragments around Nightmare Moon levitated into the air. "W-what?" She said in confusion. Twilight motioned to Applejack.
"Applejack, who reassured me and Krillin when we were in doubt, represents the spirit of...HONESTY!"
"Whooo!" Krillin shouted from offscreen.
"Fluttershy, who tamed Bowser with her compassion, represents the spirit of... KINDNESS!" Bowser clapped slowly a couple times, just to be polite to the one who was housing him.
"Pinkie Pie, who banished fear by giggling in the face of danger, represents the spirit of... LAUGHTER!"
"I did that too, but YAY!" Tristan shouted offscreen.
"Rarity, who soothed the sorrowful serpent with a meaningful gift, represents the spirit of...GENEROSITY!"
"Way to go Rarity!" Joey shouted offscreen.
"And Rainbow Dash, who could not abandon her friends for her own hearts desire, represents the spirit of...LOYALTY!"
"Good job!" Achmed shouted from offscreen.
"The spirits of these five ponies got us through every challenge you threw at us!" Twilight concluded.
"Y-you still don't have the sixth element!" Nightmare Moon said uneasily. "The spark didn't work."
"But it did." Twilight continued. "A different KIND of spark!" She turned to the smiling group of ponies, humans, skeleton and one bored turtle. "I felt it the moment I realized how happy I was to see you! To hear you. How much I cared about you. The spark ignited inside me...when I realized that you all....are MY FRIENDS!" Bowser was the only one who looked against this, but he chose to just quietly grumble to himself. "You see Nightmare Moon...when these elements are ignited by the...the spark that resides in the heart of us all, it reveals the sixth element. The element of...MAGIC!"
"Way to go, Twilight!" Deadpool shouted-wait, what?
"Deadpool, you're not supposed to be here yet! You show up much much much MUCH later!" Pinkie pointed out.
"Whoops. My bad." Deadpool replied before disappearing into thin air. After much confusion, the Mane Six levitated into the air, much to the other five's amazement. They had each gotten a necklace, or tiara in Twilight's case, and were levitating in midair. Then, a massive rainbow was fired at Nightmare Moon as she screamed.
"TASTE THE RAINBOW, MOTHAF*CKA!" Deadpool shouted.
"DEADPOOL!" Pinkie snapped.
"Sorry." Deadpool disappeared again. Then, it was silent. The six ponies fell to the ground. The others rushed to help them up.
"Ohh...My head...." Dash groaned as Achmed helped her up.
"You all okay?" Krillin asked as he helped up Applejack.
"Oh thank goodness!" Rarity exclaimed. Her tail had grown back to its former glory....somehow.
"Wow! It's real nice, Rare." Joey said.
"I know!" Rarity said, waving her tail. Then she brought it to her cheek and nuzzled it. "I'll never part with it again!"
"Actually, I was talking about that necklace of yours." Joey corrected. "It looks just like that thing on your um...ANYWAY, it's nice."
"You mean my Cutie Mark?" Rarity asked. Then she looked down at the necklace. "So it does!"
"Hey Fluttershy, your necklace looks like your..." He threw up in his mouth a little. "Cutie Mark too." Fluttershy gasped with delight.
"Look at mine! Look at mine!" Pinkie shouted, eagerly showing it to Tristan.
"Yeah! It looks like a balloon!" He replied happily.
"You're the same as the rest, AJ." Krillin pointed out. Applejack smiled.
"Awwww yeah." Rainbow Dash said as Achmed looked at her necklace. And Twilight's tiara had a star on top.
"Hey, Twilight." Applejack said. "I thought you were just spoutin a lot of hooey! But I reckon we really DO represent the elements of friendship!'
"Indeed you do." A voice said. They all turned to look at a bright light coming down. After the light cleared, it revealed a snow white alicorn with a waving, rainbow colored mane and tail, a brown necklace...thing around her neck, and a crown. The ponies [besides Twilight] all bowed, and the others stared in interest at this new pony. Twilight smiled widely and gasped.
"Princess Celestia!" She said happily. She ran up to nuzzle her mentor.
"Twilight Sparkle! My faithful student!" The princess replied, returning the nuzzle. "I knew you could do it."
"But..." Twilight began. "You told me it was all just an old ponytale."
"I TOLD you that you needed to make some friends. Nothing more. I saw the signs of Nightmare Moon's return, and I knew that you had the magic inside you to defeat her. But you could not unleash it until you let true friendship into your heart. Now if only another will as well..."
"What? What do you mean?" Krillin asked. Celestia smiled and motioned toward another alicorn, this one much smaller, with black fur and a dark blue mane.
"Princess Luna." Celestia began. The other alicorn gasped. "It has been a thousand years since I've seen you like this. Time to put our differences behind us. We're meant to rule together....little sister."
"WHAT THE FU-[Boooom] Krillin ran up to the nearest friend. "Achmed, did ya hear that? Didja? Didja? Didja?"
"It's not that big a surprise, man." Achmed replied.
"Oh."
"Will you accept my friendship?" Celestia asked warmly. Everyone else [except Bowser, who really didn't give a damn] leaned in, awaiting a decision. Krillin fell over and landed on a shard of glass.
Krillin Owned Count: 13
The smaller alicorn shrunk back slightly.... Then sprang up and nuzzled her older sister. "I'M SO SORRY! I missed you so much, big sister..."
"I missed you too." Celestia replied. Both had tears in their eyes. Bowser crossed his arms and rolled his eyes, five of the Mane Six, the humans and Achmed smiled at the reunion, and Pinkie burst into tears that came streaming out of her eyes like fountains. They laster about five seconds.
"Hey! You know what this calls for?!" Then, they were back in Ponyville. "A PARTY!"
"Yay! We teleported again!" Tristan cheered. Ponies ran down the streets to welcome their new princess, who they will treat like the devil later on in this story. Spike ran up and hugged Twilight, who almost immediately returned it. Everyone except Bowser bowed before the princesses, and two yound pegasi put a necklace of roses around Luna's neck, much to her overwhelming joy. Celestia smiled... then noticed Twilight's sad expression.
"Why so glum, my faithful student?" She asked. "Are you not happy that your quest is complete, and you can return to your studies in Canterlot?"
"That's just it." Twilight replied. "Just when I learned how wonderful it is to have friends... I have to leave them." Guess who the only one who wasn't sad is.
"Spike. Take a note please." Celestia said. Spike pulled a quill and piece of paper from out of nowhere. "I, Princess Celestia, hereby decree that the unicorn Twilight Sparkle shall take on a new mission for Equestria. She must discover more about the magic of friendship. She must report to me her findings from her new home...in Ponyville!" Twilight immediately found herself in a group hug from everyone except guess who.
"Thank you, Princess Celestia!" Twilight said joyfully. "I'll study harder than ever before!" And there were cheers from all of her friends...except, you know. _________________________________________________________________________________________________
The party had ended. Princess Celestia and Princess Luna had returned to the castle, and ponies were going home. The only remaining party-goers were the Mane 6 and the Portal Travellers.
"Man, that was some party, huh guys?" Joey said, stretching.
"Yes. Yes it was." Twilight yawned. "Spike...Joey...Tristan...Krillin....Achmed....Let's head to the library. I'm tired."
"Good night girls! And Bowser." Krillin waved.
"Night' y'all." Applejack said as she headed home.
"I can't wait to do this again! It's really fun!" Pinkie headed home too.
"See ya around, girls! And Bowser." Dash flew off.
"Goodnight, dears." Rarity left Bowser and Fluttershy alone. Fluttershy waved goodbye, and looked up at Bowser in concern. He was crossing his arms, clearly deep in thought.
"Bowser... What's wrong?" She asked.
"Huh? It's nothing..." Bowser muttered.
"Oh. Um..okay." Fluttershy replied. "Um... I just want you to know that... If you want to talk about it...I'll listen." Bowser looked over, and the slightest hint of a smile appeared on his face.
"Thanks...Fluttershy." He said. The two headed to Fluttershy's cottage.
"No...Nope...." Spike said as he tossed apples out of the basket on Twilight's back. Joey, Krillin and Achmed looked like they were going to strangle him, and Tristan picked his nose.
"Spike, stop throwing those apples out of the basket!" Achmed snapped. "We spent all day collecting those!"
"Thank ya kindly, y'all, for helping me out!" Applejack said. "I bet Big Macintosh that I could get all these apples to the barn by lunchtime. If I win, he's gonna walk down the street in one of Granny's girdles!" She laughed.
"That doesn't sound safe." Krillin said. "But no problem!"
"I'm glad the goal is lunchtime." Twilight said. "All this hard work is making me hungry."
"I know, right?" Spike said as he threw another apple that hit Achmed on the head.
"SPIKE....I SWEAR TO GOD....." Achmed snarled through clenched teeth.
"Achmed no!" Tristan shook the skeleton's shoulders. "If you get too mad, you'll turn into the Incredible Hulk!"
"Tristan, that's Bruce Banner." Joey corrected.
"I thought it applied to everybody!" Tristan said, still holding onto Achmed's shoulders.
"SPIKE FREAKING LOUNGED ON TWILIGHT'S BACK ALL MORNING WHILE WE WORKED!" Achmed snapped. "I HAD TO CHASE THAT FREAKING DOG ALL OVER THE FARM BECAUSE IT STOLE MY ARM AT BREAK! EVER STEP IN DOG POOP WITH A BONE FOOT?! IT'S LIKE SOME KIND OF SICK TWISTED PLAY-DOH FUN FACTORY!" Achmed snapped. If he had eyelids, his eye would have twitched.
"That WAS pretty funny." Spike said. Achmed glared at him for five seconds.
"SHUT UP!!" He shouted. Suddenly, they heard a loud growl.
"AH! THE MANTICORE CAME BACK!" Joey shouted as he picked up a struggling Krillin to use as a human shield.
"That was my stomach, Joey." Twilight said in a reassuring voice. "I think we should get something to eat." Spike threw more apples out of the basket and finally pulled out a big, red, juicy one and held it in front of Twilight's face. "Oh Spike! That looks delicious-" And then Spike ate the entire thing in one bite.
"GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Achmed pounced on Spike and the two disappeared into a huge cloud of dust. Sounds of punching and kicking could be heard. Finally, the cloud of dust settled to reveal a disheveled Spike and a disassembled Achmed. After they put Achmed back together, Spike belched, creating a swirl of green fire that eventually turned into a piece of paper.
"It's a letter from Princess Celestia!" Twilight said as Spike caught the paper. Spike cleared his throat and began to read.
"Hear ye, hear ye! Her Grand Royal Highness, Princess Celestia, is pleased to announce that the Grand Galloping Gala to be held in the magnificent Grand Capitol city of Canterlot on the 21st day of...yadda yadda yadda..."
"Um, I imagine the date is pretty important information." Krillin deadpanned. Spike ignored him.
"...Cordially extends an invitation to Twilight Sparkle, plus one guest." Twilight and Applejack gasped and looked at each other.
"The Grand Galloping Gala!" They said simultaneously.
"I LOVE the Grand Galloping Gala!" Tristan said with a huge grin that turned into a confused frown. "...What's the Grand Galloping Gala?"
"I have a feeling this is gonna be a crazy day." Joey said.
"The Grand Galloping Gala!" Twilight and Applejack exclaimed as they jumped for joy. Spike looked irritated.
"Um...yeah, you said that already." Krilin said. "But what IS the Grand Galloping Gala?" Neither girl answered. Spike belched again, and two shiny slips of paper came out of it.
"Look! Two tickets!" He said, holding them up.
"I got a Golden Ticket..." Tristan began to sing, only for Joey to cover his mouth.
"I hate that song!" Joey snapped.
"This is great!" Twilight said ecstatically. "I've never been to the Grand Galloping Gala!"
"What IS the Grand Galloping Gala?!" Krillin asked, ignored again.
"Have YOU been to the Gala, Spike?" Twilight asked. Spike crossed his arms and rolled his eyes.
"No. And I plan to keep it that way!" Spike replied. "I don't want any of that girly frou frou nonsense!"
"WHAT IS THE GRAND GALLOPING GALA?!" Krillin asked in annoyance.
"Aw come on, Spike!" Twilight insisted. "A dance would be nice!"
"Nice?!" Applejack exclaimed. "It's a heaps more than just nice! I'd love to go!"
"Rrrrrrrolllll fantasy!" A certain merc with a mouth said while wasting his time reading this story on a laptop that he stole from Taskmaster. And so a fantasy was rolled.
"Land sakes..." Applejack began. "If I had an apple stand set up, ponies would be buying our vittles till the cows came home! Do y'all know how much business I could drum up for Sweet Apple Acres? Why, with all that money, we could do a ton of fixin up! We could replace that saggy old roof! And Big Macintosh could replace that saggy old plow! And Granny Smith could replace that saggy old hip!"
"Wow! Is there anything money CAN'T do?" Achmed exclaimed, pleased with the bad moral he just taught all the kids who weren't reading this.
"Well said, pardner! I'd give ANYTHING to go to that Gala!" Applejack concluded.
"What...IS...the Grand....Galloping Gala?" Krillin asked through gritted teeth.
"Oh!" Twilight said. "Well in that case, would you like to..." But she didn't get to finish, as a certain blue pegasus landed on top of her and Applejack.
"Are we talking about the GRAND GALLOPING gala?!" She asked excitedly.
"Y'know, I still want to know what that is!" Krillin insisted.
"Rainbow Dash... You told me you were too busy to help me harvest apples!" Applejack snapped. "What were ya busy doing? Spying?"
"Noo." Dash replied. "I was busy...napping." Everyone looked up at a tree to see a blanket and pillow on one of the branches.
"...You can lay on clouds, yet you choose to sleep on a tree trunk?" Krillin asked.
"Hey, don't knock it till ya try it!" Dash shrugged.
"I wanna try!" Tristan said. And so he immediately ran up to the tree and climbed onto the branch with the blanket and pillow. He pulled a teddy bear out of his jeans pocket and fell asleep instantly.
"...Tristan sleeps with a teddy bear?!" Joey exclaimed. "I might have to blackmail him into staying away from my sis-oh wait, he already posted a picture of himself sleeping with it on his FaceBook wall. I should have known already."
"Ha! What a loser! What kind of idiot sleeps with a teddy bear?!" Achmed said smugly. Twilight looked at him with a knowing smirk. Achmed glared. "LEAVE GANGSTA FLUFFYTAIL OUT OF THIS!! HE'S THE ONLY GOOD THING IN MY LIFE! AT HOME!"
"I wanna sleep in that tree now..." Krillin said. Tristan heard him and complied, climbing down expertly.
"Okay Krillin! Wanna borrow Wompy?" He extended the teddy bear towards Krillin, but Krillin pulled out a stuffed rabbit.
"Nah, that's okay. I've got Fluffykins." He replied.
"OH BROTHER! YOU GUYS ARE SISSIES!" Spike shouted offscreen. Twilight glared at him disapprovingly. Achmed muttered something about a bomb in his bed. Krillin climbed up the tree and settled onto the branch, then fell asleep.
"Aaaaaanyway, back to the matter at hand...I just HAPPENED to hear that you have an extra ticket?" Rainbow Dash said, getting into Twilight's face.
"...Yeah, but-"
"YES!" Dash exclaimed. "This is SO AWESOME! The Wonderbolts perform at the Grand Galloping Gala every year! I can see it now...." Suddenly, the screen froze up. A red-clad merc popped up in front of the frozen image.
"Ey, readers! Wassup! It's me, Deadpool! You know where this scene is going. Rainbow Dash wants to intrude the Wonderbolts's performance and get herself kicked out and banned from all future performances under the dillusion that they'll be so blown away by her performance that they'll instantly beg her to join them! IN. GENIOUS. But you know how that scene goes already, so..." Deadpool pulled a remote control out of nowhere. "I will fast forward it to the end of the flashback!" And so Deadpool did just that. "Nifty, eh?"
"WILSON!" Taskmaster shouted offscreen. Deadpool cringed slightly. "GIVE ME BACK MY LAPTOP AND I'LL KICK YOUR ASS!"
"Uh... don't you mean OR you'll kick my ass?" Deadpool replied.
"NO I DON'T!" Taskmaster shouted.
"Well, gotta go! See ya guys later!" And Deadpool ran away with Taskmaster following close behind. He pressed play offscreen.
"Don't you see, Twilight?" Rainbow Dash said. "This could be my one chance to show em my stuff! You gotta take ME!" Then she was yanked back by the tail.
"Hold on just one pony licking minute here!" Applejack exclaimed, her mouth full of tail. She spat Dash's tail out. "I asked for that ticket first!"
"That doesn't mean you own it!" Dash replied.
"Oh yeah? Well I challenge you to a hoof wrastle! Winner gets the ticket!" They placed their hooves on a tree stump and began to arm wrestle, only to be broken up by Twilight.
"Girls!" Twilight exclaimed. "It's MY ticket! I'LL decide who gets it!"
"Awww..." The boys, minus Krillin, said sadly, tossing away their popcorn buckets.
"Whoever has the best reason to go gets the ticket, wouldn't you agree?" Applejack and Rainbow Dash immediately barraged her with reasons why their reasons were good.
"Oh my. Those ARE pretty good reasons, aren't they?" Twilight said. Her stomach growled. She chuckled nervously.
"Listen to that. I AM starving."
"Me too!" Tristan said.
"Yeah, same here." Joey said.
"I am too." Spike said, despite the fact that he was lazing on Twilight's back the entire time.
"I hate food! It goes right through me!" Achmed exclaimed. Krillin snored.
"Great! Glad we're all on the same page! Okay, let's wake Krillin up and get some lunch!" Then there was an offscreen snap, and Krillin screamed as he fell to the ground. He smashed into the ground facefirst. Then the tree fell on top of him.
Krillin Owned Count: 14
After they got Krillin out of the tree, the group left Rainbow Dash and Applejack hoof wrestling.
Wow. This chapter sucks. I promise I'll do better in the future.