> Discord's Tournament of Champions
>  by TheVClaw
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> The Introduction
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Hmmmm… let’s see how long it takes for them all to arrive…”

Due to how large and spacious the room was, the draconequus’ voice echoed off the walls with surprising vibrancy. The long figure occupying the space had quite the unique appearance, as all his limbs were mismatched from various species to fit onto his slender form. He was also splayed out across the immaculate crystal throne, which had three lavender stars embedded on the back to indicate its true owner. As he laid across the armrests and waited for his friends, he brought up his lion’s paw to gently brush his scraggly goatee. In his other claw, which was clearly something avian akin to an eagle’s, he was reading from a stack of printed out papers; it was mostly composed of numbers alongside various highlighted names, but it wouldn’t mean much without the reader’s added context. 

“Hmmmm…” His long muzzle smirked a bit, exposing the single fang he had which protruded from his lips. As he sat and read his statistics, the massive table across from his seat was still glowing spectacularly. The round hunk of enchanted crystal was usually meant for important meetings amongst Equestria’s rulers and protectors, as it contained more than enough magic to help warn them of any incoming events. Since the table was brightly lit, a stunning holographic display was illuminated to show a living map of Equestria from all sides. In the middle of the map, which coincidentally was focused on the castle the draconequus was currently residing in, five glowing icons were floating and circling around the hologram of the Castle of Friendship. However, strangely enough, the icon of three lavender stars was not among the five for this particular beacon. 

Instead, the five glowing marks over the map included: a tri-colored lightning bolt into a cloud, a trio of pink butterflies, two blue balloons beneath a yellow one, three shimmering blue gems, and three bright red apples.

It took a few more minutes of waiting before the draconequus heard anything from outside the doors. He wasn’t sure how long it’d take to summon the five, since they were likely all living in different regions of Equestria by now. Luckily for his patience, his ears perked up when he overheard a symphony of galloping hoofsteps barreling towards the room he was inside. He took a moment to readjust himself, and he sat upright and proper in his borrowed throne. By the time the doors finally bursted open, the five mares who rushed inside were met by the sight of their draconequus friend grinning at them confidently. 

“Ah! Hello there, ladies! I hope I didn’t interrupting anything too significant with this little meet--”

“DISCORD?!?”

The five mares all looked to be panicked and worried when they first entered the Map Room; unfortunately, the reveal of Discord made all of them turn instantly livid. Since they were all summoned by the Cutie Map without any context, they were all assuming that their friend Twilight Sparkle would be involved somehow. However, they could all see from the glowing icons above the map that the Princess wasn’t involved in any of this. Instead, they were all met with Discord as he held up his lion’s paw preemptively. “Now, hear me out--”

“DISCORD, WE TALKED ABOUT THIS!!!” An especially shrill-sounding voice caused Discord to tense up with an instantly less confident expression. Across from the massive table, a certain yellow mare with a pink mane was glaring daggers at the draconequus in question. She pointed a hoof at him and shouted, “You PROMISED you wouldn’t use the Cutie Map for pranks anymore!!!”

“N-Now, wait a minute, Fluttershy!” Discord was quick to try and explain, “This isn’t for a prank!”

“Still deceptive, if ya ask me.” Beside Fluttershy, an equally pissed-off orange mare was already done with his bullshit. She readjusted her Stetson before turning back towards the door. “Y’know what? Ah’d rather head back home anyways--”

“NOW WAIT A MINUTE!”

Applejack, Fluttershy, and the other three ponies paused before they could try to leave the Map Room. Discord was still sitting upright, but he now had a sterner scowl on his face while his arms were crossed over his chest. Before any of the mares could try to give a retort, he closed his eyes and took a moment to breath out slowly. Following his exhale, Discord stared back at the mares and spoke more calmly.

“Ahem… Now then,” he began as he relaxed his muzzle and showed a less offended face for the girls. “First of all, I’m sorry for using the Cutie Map for my own plans. You’re right that I made a promise, and I completely understand your anger regarding this. However…”

He made sure to raise a digit of his paw while emphasizing that last word. “... I want to clarify that this was not to set up any pranks or deceptive actions. I really do need to speak with all five of you about something important. And since it’s related to Princess Twilight Sparkle, I wanted to talk with you all in private without her knowing. This was the best means for me to do so, but I can understand why it would upset all of you.”

Discord remained sitting as he gazed across the room towards his friends. All five of the mares looked apprehensive at best, and were clearly wary of him after past experiences. Even Fluttershy had her lips pursed hesitantly, although she was also looking around for her friends’ reactions. Applejack rolled her eyes with a bitter scowl, while Rainbow Dash just glared at Discord blankly. Rarity looked like she wanted to say something, but the unicorn’s muzzle scrunched awkwardly when she glanced back at Fluttershy. At the end of the line, Pinkie Pie was the only one willing to smile and nod to Discord in understanding. “Oh, alright then!” she blurted with a naively chipper smile. “Sooooo… what’s up with Twilight?”

Despite how unsure the others may have been, they all turned back to Discord upon hearing their friend being mentioned. Fluttershy was the first to extend the smallest olive branch by walking over towards her assigned throne. In less than a minute, all five of them apprehensively went and sat at their chairs to hear Discord out. The draconequus smiled graciously and uncrossed his arms. “Thank you, Fluttershy. And I can promise all of you, I’m not planning anything nefarious or dishonest by inviting all of you here.”

“Well, saying stuff like that kinda makes us more suspicious.” Rainbow Dash sat beside Fluttershy,and was the only one still narrowing her eyes on Discord. “Like, I get that you’re all ‘reformed’ after the Grogar stuff, but you gotta see how this all looks from our point of view, right?”

“Fair enough.” Discord wasn’t too offended by the pegasus’ remark, and merely nodded to her with a smile. “And to be completely fair, the reason I brought you all here isn’t actually pertaining to anything in this world. However, it’s still related greatly to Princess Twilight.”

“Wait, not in this world?” Rarity raised a brow in puzzlement. “Is… this related to the Mirror World somehow?”

“Surprisingly, it’s not!” Discord was quick to dispel that guess with a wave of his claw. “This is actually related to outside universes. Not those that have any direct connection to this world.”

“Okay, now Ah’m even more confused!” Applejack tried not to snap when she asked, “Discord, can you please explain what’s goin’ on?! My schedule ain’t that open, y’know!”

“Don’t worry, this won’t interfere with any of your schedules or timelines…” Discord took that moment to straighten up the stack of papers in his claw, which made the girls all stare at him more baffled. “Consider this as more of a… tournament of champions type of thing~”

He then placed the papers in the middle of the table, allowing all of them to read the top text. The papers were clearly printed out from some website, but Discord made sure to black out any unnecessary ads or links so only the relevant details remained. Pinkie Pie was the first to lean in and inspect the stack, tilting her head with a slewed muzzle. “Hmmm… So, what’s this, ‘R-Three-Four’ thing?”

“I’m very glad you asked!” The draconequus picked up the first sheet of paper from that stack, and held it up for the others to see. “Well, it technically stands for Rule Thirty-Four. In a certain universe, which is able to observe various figures and events from other non-related universes, some individuals are more renowned than others. Think of them like… mascots to represent worlds, if you will.”

“Ummm… okay?” None of the mares seemed to understand what Discord was talking about, but they weren’t immediately dismissing his claims either. Fluttershy decided to speak up on behalf of her friends to ask, “So… what exactly does that rule mean?”

Discord looked back at her with a warm and totally smile. “Welllllllllll… When it comes to that particular universe’s parameters, their established doctrine for Rule Thirty-Four states that… ‘The more a character is admired, the longer they’ll remain a legend~’”

Discord made sure not to grin, or even smirk while seated across from the five puzzled ponies. He made sure to remove any obvious tells from his printed lists, so he was confident enough to pass the first page towards Fluttershy. “Now, as you can see in this very well-documented listing from that universe, your friend Twilight Sparkle has the most Rule Thirty-Four tributes of most known beings in the multiverse!”

Fluttershy may have not understood what her draconequus friend meant, but she and the others were all baffled by the readings on that list. The five mares leaned in and read through the names, which featured Twilight Sparkle’s near the very top. The group tried to discern what this listing meant, but it was obvious that the other names were making them rightfully confused.

“Hat… Hat-Soon-Nah… My-Kyu? Mee-Koo?” Rainbow Dash tilted her head as she stared at the name just beneath Twilight’s on the list. “Who the heck is that?!”

“Lucario… Pikachu? What the…” Rarity had a better time pronouncing some of those names, but she was still just as baffled as the others. “Wait, who even are these? This list is very unhelpful if you ask me.”

“It don’t help that someone blacked out a bunch of details on these papers…” Applejack made sure to shoot Discord a major stink-eye while making that point. Meanwhile, Pinkie Pie was already scanning through the other pages in the stack. 

“OOH! Rainbow, your name is in there too!”

“Wait, really?!” Rainbow rushed over to Pinkie’s side and snatched the paper from her hooves. Upon glossing through the list and its entries, her surprised smile quickly morphed to a disappointed scowl. “What the… I’m only at eighty-two?!”

Applejack pointed out, “Dash, you don’t even know what that list is for.”

“Well, I know that!” She pointed a hoof over at Discord and added, “But HE said it meant when someone is admired, right?”

“Well, you’re still twenty slots higher on this list than Fluttershy!” Pinkie Pie was holding up another page from the stack, while the pegasus gasped in shock from nearby. “See? She’s at one hundred one, while I’m at one hundred fifteen! Rarity has one hundred twenty-seven, and Applejack is at a hundred forty-three.”

“HA!!!” Rainbow Dash turned back to Applejack and blew her a raspberry. “I’m higher than you!~”

“Again, we don’t know what this list is about!” Applejack gave very little shits about their standings, and snatched the page from Pinkie’s hoof. While the others all continued to scan through the lists for answers, AJ decided to ask, “Discord, what does this whole ‘Admired’ thing mean? Are we like… gods in other worlds or somethin’?”

Applejack’s question may have been bold to say the least, but it was enough to make the other mares all turn to Discord for answers. The draconequus scoffed and gave a light shrug of his shoulders. “I mean… none of you have any religions based on your lives or anything. But there certainly is a lot of tributes among all six of you that kept you in the top hundred and fifty~”

“Wait, tributes?” Rarity seemed a little unnerved by such a term being used in her and her friends’ context. “W-What does that mean? Are you saying we’re being… w-worshipped by strangers?!”

Discord didn’t say anything. His muzzle was clamped shut, while his smile and stare back at the girls remained ominously silent. Rarity’s expression dropped like a stone, revealing a much more unnerved look behind a growing blush. “... ummmm… Discord?”

“Well… Let me put it like this.” Discord decided to stand up from his seat so he could speak with more authority over them. “In almost every universe that contains a fully functional and sentient society capable of free will, certain beings within those worlds are highly regarded and idolized amongst their fellow peers. In the case of this world, the six of you are obviously some of the most idolized across the nation. Of course, Twilight has a bit of an edge for the time being due to her Royal status.”

The mares all nodded, but their expressions remained fairly unsure while listening to Discord’s speech. 

“Now eventually, those who achieve higher plains of adoration are given the opportunity to be acknowledged in other worlds. Your friend Twilight already achieved such a significant goal, as she has more tributes than most other figures in her category. However, I firmly believe the five of you could also join her and fulfill the same goal~”

Discord tried smiling wide to show his approval, but he could see how many of those eyes were narrowing back at him in puzzlement. Fluttershy once again had to break the silence herself.

“Ummm… what would we actually… achieve?”

“And whad’ya mean by opportunities?!” added Applejack in growing frustration. “Listen, Ah wanna give you as much leeway and trust as Flutters here, but nuthin’s gonna improve between us if you won’t be direct about things!”

The others all nodded their heads, whale Fluttershy tried to hide her embarrassed cringe. Discord had to clench his muzzle for a moment, but he was able to keep himself from reacting too poorly. After a brief sigh, Discord shrugged and spoke more honestly. “Well… You’re right, Applejack. I should be more direct with all of you. I didn’t want to say anything too honest and scare you all, but… I have a feeling that needs to happen…”

Discord closed his eyes and took a deep breath, but his coy smirk was just barely present via his exposed fang. Regardless, he still kept a genuine look on his face when he spoke more seriously.

“Ladies… Whenever a new figure achieves the level of notoriety and acclaim like your friend has, there’s likely to be some… intense competition between them and other beings. Just like in classic gladiator fights, sports competitions, or even the equivalent of achieving a high score in a video game, nobody can ever be satisfied with a high ranking if they have the chance to be Number One.”

“Whoa, whoa, WHOA!” Rainbow Dash immediately waved her hooves to interrupt Discord’s words. “Wait a minute now! Are you, like… are you saying that someone wants to destroy her or something?!”

While there definitely could’ve been worse synonyms than ‘destroy,’ Rainbow’s wording was still worrying enough to get the other mares to start freaking out. Discord was quick to hold out his paw and claw when he said, “No, no no! I promise all of you, nobody on that list wants to destroy Twilight Sparkle.”

Rainbow Dash and the others all sighed in relief. Unfortunately, that was less than a couple seconds before Discord added with a smirk:

“... Although, some of them might want to have sex with her.”

“WHAT?!?”

Discord was nearly pushed back into his seat from how loudly all five mares exploded at the same time. While he may have expected that kind of reaction, he still whistled amusedly with his exhale. “Welp, that cat’s out of the bag now~”

“HOW DARE YOU!!” Rarity looked downright offended by that reveal. “Discord, who in Equestria would want to have… t-to do that with Twilight?!”

Pinkie Pie may have been just as unnerved, but she quickly corrected her friend. “No, he’s talking about figures outside of Equestria. Not in it! Aren’t you listening?”

“Pinkie, that ain’t important right now!” snapped Applejack. “Discord, who the hay wants to sleep with her?!”

Rainbow Dash added, “WHY do they want to sleep with her?”

“Is it because she’s a virgin? EEP!!!”

Fluttershy froze in her seat with her eyes as wide as saucers, and both hooves tightly clasped over her muzzle. But alas, the four gaped muzzles pointed in her direction made it clear that she wasn’t the only one to hear that question. The pegasus sunk as low into her chair as she could, her shameful blush practically radiating off her face. Even Discord had to look away from her while stifling a giggle. “Mmphh… Pbbt… I… I actually didn’t know that fact. I mean, I’m not surprised, but still…” 

Fluttershy winced even more guiltily, but the other mares had their glares towards Discord after that unnecessary remark. Luckily for Fluttershy’s sake, Discord held up his paw and stated, “However… to answer your other questions, all I can say is that in the case of multiversal meetups, where beings are completely away from their own worlds and in a new setting that’s totally apart from their regular lives, it’s generally acceptable behavior for figures to act more… uninhibited amongst one another~”

Discord was just about to giggle like a little perv, but he quickly gasped in realization. His face lit up, and he snapped his claw to change his appearance with a magical poof. In an instant, Discord was wearing an official Equestria Games jumpsuit, as well as several awards medals wrapped around his neck. He stood up on the table and said, “Actually, it’s a lot like the Equestria Games! Do you remember how all the visiting athletes had their own section of the Crystal Castle to ‘unwind’ between games?~”

Discord made sure to use air-quotes with his digits to emphasize the double-entendre of his wording, but it didn’t seem to be necessary. Both Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy quickly blushed with their muzzles clenched, indicating that they understood what Discord meant with that comparison. The other three mares seemed confused for a second, but Pinkie Pie was the first to raise her brows in clarity. “OOH! You mean those rumors about the after-games were true?!”

Applejack and Rarity turned to see how silent their pegasus friends suddenly became. Neither Dash or Fluttershy could say anything to Pinkie’s point, but all that did was confirm her assumption. Rainbow Dash scratched the back of her neck awkwardly, and tried to speak up on both of their behalfs after a nervous chuckle. “Uhhh… heh heh heh… Well, uhhh… Let’s just say, when you’re stuck in a confined place with the world’s best athletes, you ummm… You take your shot~”

Even without clarifying what she or Fluttershy may have done behind the scenes, AJ and Rarity gave a couple surprised shrugs. Pinkie Pie giggled like a schoolfilly, but kept a non-judgmental smile when she waved her hoof. “Ohmigosh, I knew it! There’s no way you wouldn’t have tried something!”

“Precisely!~”

Discord shouted that loudly with pride, which brought the group’s attention back towards him. He pointed right at Rainbow Dash while sporting an especially excited grin. “You wanted to know why otherworldly figures would want to have sex with Twilight? That’s exactly why! Because she’s one of the best!”

That point seemed to sink in for Rainbow, since she was able to shrug after a couple seconds of thought. Fluttershy seemed slightly less convinced, but she and the others couldn’t think of a worthy retort to dispute Discord’s claim. He used their brief silence to cross his arms and smirk confidently. “Now then… The reason why I brought you all here is actually for Twilight’s sake. More specifically, I was hoping to provide the five of you with a rather… questionable opportunity.”

While Discord’s brows perked up a couple times in emphasis, only Pinkie Pie seemed confused about what he was trying to hint at. However, the other mares were all wide-eyed with stunned stares pointed at the draconequus. Rarity blinked a couple times before opening her muzzle slowly. “... errr… D-Discord? Wha… What exactly do you mean by… questionable?”

Despite the mares’ uneasy stares, Discord just grinned even wider. “Oh, come on, Ms. Rarity… If you don’t want Twilight’s cherry to get popped so soon, the five of you could easily… take on her suitors yourselves~”

Discord didn’t say anything more, and just returned to his seat so the girls could process his words. Instead of just gawking at the draconequus, the five ponies all turned back to one another with varying looks of shock. Even Pinkie seemed to put the pieces together, which left her just as wide-eyed as the others. Fluttershy and Rarity both appeared rather nervous about such an implication, while Dash and Applejack shot each other some disbelieving glances. Eventually, Applejack was the one to turn back to Discord with an incredulous skew of her muzzle.

“Soooooo, lemme get this straight…” She turned herself in her seat to face Discord directly, her expression as dead-serious as her tone of voice. “... Yer tellin’ us that there’s some… multidimensional region where figures of all different worlds are put in lists, and… since Twilight’s at the top of that list, there are others that wanna bang her?”

With all of that said out loud, AJ and her friends all looked hesitant at best. Discord decided to use that moment to turn towards the text of this story, and address the reader directly. “Listen, I know this all sounds convoluted, but I promise this’ll be a fun story~”

Discord then turned back to AJ like nothing happened and shrugged. “Well, I didn’t want to word it that crudely, but… Yes, that’s basically it.”

“Hold up…” Rainbow Dash had her hoof raised to keep Discord from saying anything more. Her eyes were narrowed on him in a mix of suspicion and curiosity. “Before we say anything, I gotta ask… how many of these ‘suitors’ are in this multiverse?”

“Coincidentally, the same number as all of you!” Discord ripped off his jumpsuit, revealing a white robe tied into a revealing tunic. He was now holding a heart-shaped bow and arrow set, which he used to shoot one of the tacky pink arrows into the air. It exploded above the table with a vibrant fireworks display, but Pinkie was the only one to laugh and giggle at the display. She and the others all watched as a screen appeared in the middle of the fireworks, which revealed a foreign figure’s image within. 

“Ooh, a bunny!” Fluttershy couldn’t help squeeing with a cutesy smile when she saw a tan rabbit on the screen. However, her expression quickly turned to confusion when she took notice of its slender, anthropomorphized body. 

The tall, curvy hare was leaning against a row of lockers, in what looked to be a locker-room setting of some kind. She was wearing a skimpy sports tanktop, which was basically a crop-top with the words ‘Tune Squad’ covering her voluptuous breasts. She also had a matching pair of equally tiny shorts, which did nothing to hide how wide and plump her hips appeared. Her stunning blue eyes were half-lidded with a sensual gaze, while her long ears were tied back like a ponytail. Overall, the bunny’s appearance was definitely impactful enough to make all five mares stare in awe.

Applejack tilted her head in puzzlement. “... Huh.”

“Wait, is that actually a bunny?!” Pinkie Pie leaned in to get a better look at the anthro hare on Discord’s screen. “Ooooohhhh… She’s pretty!”

“Y… Y-Yeah~” Rainbow Dash may have been a little intimidated by the bunny’s implied height, but her overall appearance and style was definitely enough to make the pegasus blush. She even had to fan her face with a hoof like a Southern Belle with the vapors. 

“Hmmm… fascinating…” Rarity lit up her horn to conjure up a small sketchbook and some pencils. The fashionista was obviously inspired, and began to draw out that unique figure as best as she could with her magic. “Ooh, do you have any other pictures of outfits she’s in? I can only imagine how she’d fill out a cocktail dress!”

“Jeeze, already?!” Pinkie giggled with a cheeky grin. “I didn’t think you’d want to sleep with the first one!”

“WHAT?!?” Rarity’s sketchbook and pencil fell out of her aura when it faltered in a panic. “Pinkie, I was NOT--”

“This suitor’s name is Lola Bunny…” Discord didn’t want to interrupt the five, but he was determined to show off all five of the options before his Cupid costume rode up his crack. “Nnghhh… Now, she is indeed a bunny, but she’s also a skilled basketball player and a determined competitor all around. Her universe is known for testing the limits of physics and gravity, as well as comical improvisation. Her personality can vary between various mediums, but I don’t think she’d pose much of a challenge in this form. All you have to do is avoid any overly feminine nicknames…”

Discord then used another arrow to shoot up towards the screen. Another plume of fireworks set off above the mares, but the screen’s image changed in an instant. Instead of Lola, now there was a drastically different-looking anthro woman with bright blue fur. None of the ponies could tell what species she was, but Fluttershy could discern that it was likely a canine or canidae of sorts. It didn’t help that the woman was wearing nothing but an ornate chest-plating over her breasts, as well as some “skirt” that barely covered her nethers. There was also a beaded headpiece beneath her bangs, some armor plating over her wrists and ankles, and a massive spear she was holding with both hands. Unlike the previous photo, which showed Lola Bunny in a more seductively passive pose, this woman conveyed much more power and confidence while holding her weapon.

“Now, this lovely lady is named Krystal,” continued Discord as he introduced the second option. “She’s a Vixen Fox with a lot of experience when it comes to melee combat and flying advanced machinery. She also has special telepathic abilities, which can help her foresee events if needed. Although, I doubt she’d expect any of you…”

The ponies all took a moment to stare at this new anthro figure with varying looks of intrigue. Rarity was already drawing out a new sketch, but she seemed to notice a pattern of what to expect from an anthropomorphic body type. The unicorn tried to draw the fox’s breasts as accurately as possible, while Pinkie Pie tried to lean in and get an upskirt peek of that picture. Fluttershy and Applejack weren’t sure what to think, but they both shrugged approvingly to Krystal’s overall appearance. Rainbow Dash seemed more interested in the spear Krystal was holding, but she could appreciate the fox’s body just as well as the others.

“Now for the next one!” Discord shot another arrow to change the picture with more of his magical fireworks. “This one is named Loona: a hellhound adopted by a demon!”

The third figure made all the girls go wide-eyed, and even caused a few blushes here and there. The hellhound was just as tall and slender as the first two entries, although her outfit was much more garish in comparison. The canine’s white and silver fur contrasted greatly with her battered gray crop-top, and the skin-tight running shorts that were just barely hanging by its threads. Her chest may have been significantly flatter, but her waist was still tastefully curvaceous as it led down to her thick thighs. Her blood-red eyes, which provided a piercingly intense stare through her heavy makeup, certainly helped to make her stand out as a viable prospect.

“What in Equestria’s name is that girl wearing?!” Rarity looked downright appalled by the hellhound’s clothing choices. “Good heavens, she looked like she walked out of Tartarus!”

Discord cheerfully said, “That’s actually pretty close to the truth in her case!”

“She looks really… mean…” Fluttershy shivered with a heavy blush while staring up at that intimidating canine babe. Pinkie Pie was now out of her seat, and walking around to catch a glimpse of the other side of Discord’s projected screen; but alas, the mare couldn’t get a good shot of Loona’s ass from behind. 

“Now for entry number four, which might be a bit more familiar for all of you…” Discord shot his fourth arrow, which changed the screen with more fireworks and caused all five ponies to gasp. Unlike the previous three entries, this one wasn’t an anthropomorphized figure by any means. In fact, it appeared to be a full-sized mare with Saddle Arabian body proportions. “... This lovely lady is named Rain~”

The mares were all totally transfixed on the beautiful horse, whose shimmering coat bordered between a luscious chestnut brown and pure white. Rain also had a luscious off-white mane that draped down her long neck, and a black and white feather tucked behind her ear. Her blue eyes were just as captivating as the first two women shown, but her overall appearance was the easiest for all the ponies to get behind.

“Jeeze…” Applejack had to take off her hat so she could fan her face. “Ah ain’t gonna lie, she’s definitely a looker~”

“H-Honestly, yeah…” Fluttershy giggled to herself with a heavy blush, mostly due to how guilty she felt for finding that mare so attractive. Even though the horse was clearly from another universe, she was certainly catching the ponies’ focus in all the right ways. All the while, Discord was grinning eagerly when he saw the girls becoming more complacent.

“Alright, and now for the final suitor!” Discord shot the last arrow from his quiver, which sent one final plume of fireworks into the sky. The final image made the girls all reel back in confusion for a second, since it was a drastically different-looking anthro form. 

However, Fluttershy once again gasped with glee and squealed. “Ohmigosh, it’s ANOTHER bunny!”

Rarity was quick to ask, “Wait, is… is she also a police officer?”

The fifth and final suitor, who was significantly smaller in size and stature than the others, was a cheerful silver bunny donning a professional-looking police uniform. She had a bright, optimistic smile on her face that lit up the room, while the words ‘Zootopia PD’ were boldly engraved across her bulletproof vest. Her chest was completely hidden from view, but she was fortunate enough to be wearing tight spandex pants. Even though the hare was the most modestly dressed, the girls could still see how well-toned and muscular her short-stack figure really was. 

Discord pointed his bow to the screen. “And this beautiful bunny goes by the name of Judy Hopps! She’s the first ever bunny to join the infamous Zootopia police force, and carries a fiery tenacity that makes her a formidable threat to any foes! She’s also one of the closest competitors who could outdo your friend Twilight on the R-Thirty-Four list, so you would need to be prepared~”

The draconequus waved around his paw, which morphed the floating screen into a much larger size above the girls. All five of the pictures were brought back up together, which allowed the mares to get a proper assessment of who they could be facing. Individually, none of the girls seemed to be much of a challenge for the Elements of Harmony; however, considering what Discord was wanting them to do, the ponies all stared up at the lineup with heavy blushes and nervous gulps. 

“Now, before I say anything else, I want to make it absolutely clear that none of you have to participate in this.” Discord made sure to drive in that point as clearly as he could for all five of them. “If you don’t feel comfortable taking on these suitors yourselves, that’s completely fine. I could easily do it myself, but I wanted to give you all the chance to think it over for yourselves. In fact, I’ll give you all a moment to discuss things in private without me interfering…”

With that, Discord floated up from Twilight’s throne so he was hovering high above the table. He illuminated a bright, soundproofing aura of magic around himself like a transparent dome, which allowed the girls to converse privately without him eavesdropping. He even snapped his claw a couple times to prove he was muted, which made Fluttershy nod up at him graciously. With the floating image of those five suitors still above them, the mares quickly got out of their seats so they could get in a tight huddle. 

“Wait, are we seriously gonna do this?!”
“This is absolutely asinine!”
“Should we at least tell Twilight about this?”
“And what the heck do we tell her?! Even I can’t follow it!”
“Well, it seems obvious what Discord wants from us…”
“... y-yeah…”
“Hmmmm…”
“...”
“... are we, uhhhh… are we considerin’ it?”
“OOH! Can we start picking who we want?”
“Not now!”
“Daaawwww…”
“Well… Discord seemed quite adamant about us agreeing…”
“Yeah, but he could also just be a big pervert wanting to watch us have sex!”
“I… I can actually see that being the case too.”
“Girls, stop it! Discord might be a lot of things, but he’s not THAT depraved!”
“What, so you think he’s telling the truth?!”
“Well… what if he is?”
“Oh, so we’re just goinna assume that those five girls wanna sleep with Twilight?!”
“Umm, do you girls remember how many fans we all got from our Friendship Journals?! I’m surprised it’s ONLY five!”
“So… S-So we actually have to have sex with them?!”
“I mean… it’s either that or Twilight loses her virginity to one of them…”
“...”
“...”
“... hmmmmm…”

Up above the table, Discord was sitting with his mismatched legs crossed over his waist. He was floating in his little bubble with some tasteful muzak playing, not even trying to overhear what the girls were talking about down below. However, he was able to see the five bring their heads in even closer, as if they were talking in more hushed tones. He refused to eavesdrop on his friends, so he patiently waited as a couple minutes of conversation passed.

The mares took their time as they discussed their options, as well as whatever plans they might have regardless of their decision. Discord was thankful not to listen in on the ponies’ talks of ethics or morality, since it merely served as a buffer before getting to deeper discussion. After a few minutes, all five of them were notably blushing as they looked between one another, as well as the pictures up above. The draconequus watched as the Elements all nodded to each other in agreement, and even shook each other’s hooves to confirm their plans.

“Oh, goodie!” Discord popped the aura with his claw, and floated back down to his seat with the aid of an open (albeit upside-down) umbrella. He landed daintily with a cheeky grin, and narrowed his eyes on the group of nervous-looking mares. “Soooooo… I take it that you all came to a decision?~”

The group took one final moment to glance back at each other, but it was clear that they all came to the same conclusion. Despite how worriedly some of them were looking behind their blushing cheeks, none of them tried to stop Fluttershy when she took a deep breath. The pegasus turned to Discord with a determined look on her face, which he took seriously enough to sit upright for. 

“O-Okay, so… Before we agree to anything, I really have to ask… Where exactly would we be going?”

“Oh, I’m glad you asked!” Discord smiled and reached into one of his ears with his paw. With a loud pop, he pulled out a black remote control with over a dozen green buttons. “You see, with this device, I will be able to fine-tune the perfect neutral settings for you and your chosen suitors. Both of you will be transported to a completely isolated, hypothetical scenario where you two could be theoretically together. All you would have to do is seduce them, indulge in whatever carnal interests suit the both of you, and then I’ll bring you back safe and sound.”

Fluttershy’s muzzle was tightly pursed, but she understood just enough of his explanation to nod her head a little. Discord glanced over at the other mares, who all seemed to get the setup as well. None of them tried to back out or shake their heads, but he kept himself from grinning just yet. Fluttershy took one last moment to see her friends’ expressions, and then sighed before turning back towards him. “Ummm… a-alright then… If that’s the case, then…”

Fluttershy may have been apprehensive, but she was brave enough to close her eyes and take a deep breath. She didn’t wait to reopen her eyes before blurting out, “Then… T-Then we’re willing to accept your… o-offer…”

Discord smiled warmly, and looked over at the others to see them shrug or nod weakly. Fluttershy sighed sharply enough to catch the draconequus’ attention, and she looked up at him to add in clarification: “I, ummm… I consent.”

Discord wasn’t expecting her to give such a direct answer, but it made him smile nonetheless. The other four glanced at each other briefly, with Applejack being the first to raise her hoof.

“Ughhhh… Y’know what? Ah want Twi’s first time to be special, so… Ah’ll take one for the team. Ah consent too!”

“Ditto…” Rainbow Dash hesitantly raised her hoof, but she was smiling just enough to show she wasn’t against it. “What the hay? I consent.”

“I consent too!” chirped Pinkie Pie excitedly with her hoof high in the air. “Some of those girls are kinda hot!”

Rarity winced in embarrassment, mostly due to Pinkie’s comment, but she breathed out and raised a hoof as well. “I… I suppose it’s all fair then… I consent as well.”

“Oh, perfect!!~” Discord looked absolutely tickled by the mares’ agreement, and he quickly leapt off the throne to stand in the middle of the table. With a wide and maniacal grin, Discord pointed a claw up towards the gallery of anthro gals posted above his head. Meanwhile, his piercing yellow eyes scanned the five mares in question as he licked his lips. “Now then…”

With his chaotic magic ready to be used properly, the draconequus pointed a digit to one of the pictures in particular: 

“Let’s start off with our first pairing… Who wants to face off against Loona?~”

Several seconds of awkward silence passed, with all five mares sitting with their muzzles tightly skewed. But after a little shuffling, one hoof finally rose above her head...

“Ummm… I-I’ll do it…”

Fluttershy clenched her eyes tightly shut and raised her hoof. She heard a couple of her friends gasp loudly enough to make her cringe; however, Discord seemed the most shocked with his avian paw over his mouth. Rainbow Dash and Rarity shot each other a couple surprised looks, although that was likely because they were considering that option as well. Applejack and Pinkie Pie shrugged, seeming more intrigued by that match-up than worried. 

“Hoo, doggy!” Applejack leaned back in her seat and snickered a little. “You’re really gonna go after a Hellound?”

Pinkie Pie decided to add on Flutters’ behalf, “Well she’s handled way worse creatures in the past, hasn’t she? Dragons, hydras, cerberuses uhhh… cerberus? Cerburi? What’s the plural for that one?”

“Well, she only dealt with that one Cerberus, so I doubt the plural applies there.” Rarity took that moment to think it over before turning her focus towards Fluttershy as well. “Although, Applejack does bring up a fair point.”

“Yeah, totally!” Pinkie Pie had the warmest smile among the group. “Fluttershy is one of the best wild animal experts in all of Equestria! That Loona doesn’t stand a chance~”

Fluttershy may have still looked a bit nervous, but she still had a thankful smile she tried to hide when she lowered her head. “Uhh… T-Thanks, Pinkie.”

“But why HER though?!” Rainbow Dash still seemed puzzled by her friend’s choice. “I mean, I know one of us would have to do it, but I didn’t expect you’d be the first.”

“Me neither…” Discord was trying his hardest not to look scared, but he was carrying a grave expression equal to a parent watching their teenage daughter about to go out on a date. But alas, the draconequus was able to breathe out through his nostrils and keep himself from looking too upset. “Although… I do agree with the others that she would be capable. If you’re confident in your abilities, then… I’ll trust you to handle Loona accordingly.”

Fluttershy nodded meekly, but her blush was already growing heavier by the second. She had to close her eyes to take a breath, which helped quell her nervousness the tiniest bit. When she exhaled, Fluttershy finally gave a response.

“W-Wel, ummm… I… I might not fully understand all of this just yet, but… I do know that somepony has to step in if that Loona lady wants to… y-you know.”

The other mares all nodded silently. Discord still seemed apprehensive, but he didn’t try to interrupt his best friend’s speech. Fluttershy bit her lip for a moment, but sat more upright in her chair before adding, “A-And if… If doing this will help protect my friend, then I’ll do it for her!”

Fluttershy took that opportunity to stand up from her seat, and step onto the map table directly. Her confidence began to show more blatantly as she stood tall before everyone, her expression hardening to a more determined scowl. She was looking right up at the gallery of pictures above them, and staring straight at the Hellhound in question. Upon seeing the pegasus’ face more closely, any hesitance Discord may have felt was quickly dissipated. His face lit up with intrigue, and he slowly grew a captivated smile. “Oh myyyyyy…”

That was when the draconequus stood up himself, towering over Fluttershy by less than a foot. His fanged muzzle was stretched particularly wide as he grinned down at her. “So, Ms. Fluttershy… Are you ready to prove yourself for this first face-off?~”

Fluttershy stared straight back at her friend, her expression completely unchanged. She gave Discord a firm nod of her head, showing the same bravery that Discord remembered from his own defeat. With the other four mares all sitting with anticipation, Discord lifted his claw high into the air and said, “Well then… I have no doubt that you’re going to have a wonderful time~”


*SNAP!*