> Heart of the Wood > by WaywardSon > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > 1. Fertile Ground > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Day zero I swing my axe down hard on the oak log, splitting it cleanly in two. "I'm just saying that there's a lot more to life than selling firewood, Willow," I say to my sister, setting one half of the log back on the block. Another swing leaves it in quarters. "I want to get out there and see the world! I want to meet ponies that I haven't known my whole life and have new experiences." Willow Leaf looks up from her botany textbook where she sits on a stack of split logs, brushing her frizzy red mane out from in front of her glasses. "So," she says slowly, "to get new experiences you're going to stop cutting firewood in Hoofington and start cutting lumber in Ponyville? Are you sure you want to move so fast, Heart?" Swing. Chop. I give her a sidelong glance. "Very funny," I say dryly, pulling another log over. "It's a place to start. Besides, cutting trees is what I'm good at. There's a reason I got my cutie mark in it." I point to my flank where a heart-shaped log crosscut stands out against my yellow coat. She shrugs, looking back to her book. "You know Dad would just say that means you belong here working the family business, don't you?" I sigh, lining up to split the next one. "Tell me something I haven't heard hundreds of times since I got my mark." Swing. Chop. "The way I see it, it's no different than you going off to school to study forestry. We can't all chop firewood forever." She doesn't look up. "Do you remember that Mom only backed me about it when I convinced her that it would help the business?" she asks. Glancing over the top of her book she adds, "How will you argue that going into a different profession entirely helps the family?" "That's not the point," Swing. Chop. "The family business is well in hoof. Between Mom, Dad, you, and the twins I'm not exactly needed here. I'll be getting out of everypony's mane." "What about Sap Wood?" Willow asks simply as I pull up the axe. I stop, lowering the axe and leaning on it. "Sappy will understand," I say slowly. "Eventually. He's a smart kid." I sigh, rubbing the back of my neck. "I know he'll miss me. I'll miss him, too. But what kind of sister would I be if I didn't set an example by following my dreams?" I hoist up the axe, splitting another log. Swing. Chop. "He's not going to sell firewood all his life, either. You'll see." She shrugs and keeps reading. I stop and stare at her. "Willow?" I say, letting an annoyed edge creep into my voice. She glances up with a little "hmm?" sound. I point to the growing pile of firewood. "Are you going to help stack this on a drying rack before Dad and the twins get back with another load, or not?" Willow rolls her eyes and closes her book, hoping down to her hooves. "Are you sure this isn't the job for you?" she asks. "That's why I'm leaving," I say, setting up another log. "I'm going to find what I'm meant to be." Swing. Chop. I pull the cart through the busy market, the dry firewood stacked in it so high it threatens to topple at every turn. Even so, I am delayed most by ponies saying hello and wanting to chat about every little thing. Finally I draw close to our familiar stall, backing the cart alongside so it won't block anypony passing. "Heart Wood," calls my mom after she sends a customer on their way with three bundles. "What kept you? I just had to spend ten minutes listening to old Mrs. Anjou carrying on about pears so we wouldn't run out of stock." I start unloading the cart as she talks. "Sorry, Mom," I say. "Willow and I got a little behind with splitting new wood to dry. Dad and the twins had to take over so we could get you more stock in time." She frowns. "Willow had her muzzle in her books again, didn't she?" I shake my head. "There was just a lot to split and stack, Mom," I lie, focusing more on emptying the cart. "Dad brought in three wagon loads of oak." She doesn't seem convinced, but she doesn't press the matter any further. "I suppose I should be happy she's doing so well in her studies. Where are your brothers now?" I finish emptying the cart into a neat stack. "I think they said they were going to get dinner started. Dad said he had some business to take care of in his office after the splitting was done." Mom's eyes grow wide. "The twins are cooking? Together?" She takes off her change apron, handing it to me. "Keep an eye on the stall and your little brother. I need to check that the kitchen is still there. Dinner's at sunset." Without another word she hurries off through the market. "I don't need anypony watching me!" calls a young voice from inside the stall. "I'm old enough to watch myself." I strap on the apron and enter the stall, smiling at my little brother Sap Wood where he sits. "Hey there, Sappy!" I call cheerfully, tousling his blue mane. He scowls and ducks his head away, lifting the pencil in his teeth away from the paper he's leaning over. "Don't call me that!" he complains, spitting out the pencil. "And be careful, Heart! You almost ruined my drawing." I smile mischievously. "Never again," I say with a wink. I glance down at the paper. "What are you drawing today, Sap?" He holds up the page so I can see. It's a detailed sketch of the view from the stall, with ponies of all kinds in various groups. "Wow. This is really good, Sap," I say, looking up to compare the view. "The buildings and stalls are perfect, but I don't see these ponies there." "They were when I started," he says casually. "I still remember where they were." He looks down at the page again then asks quietly, "Do you really think it's good, Heart? Mom said it was silly." "What?!" I say, shocked. "Mom doesn't know what she's talking about. This is your best drawing yet! Look at those sharp lines on the buildings, and how lifelike the ponies are." I smile at him. "I'm telling you, this could be framed when you finish." Sap Wood's face practically glows as he smiles at the praise. "Do you really think so, Heart?" he asks eagerly. I nod with conviction. "I know so. You keep this up and you'll get a cutie mark in art someday. You've got a gift for making beautiful pictures." He rushes forward and hugs me fiercely. "I love you, sis," he murmurs against my neck. I smile warmly, holding him tight. "I love you, too, Sappy." He pulls away with a frown. "I told you not to call me that," he pouts. "Never again," I say, my smile never diminishing. A smile plays at his lips, then he looks away to his saddle bag. "I'm gonna draw you, Heart," he says, pulling out blank paper and laying it out. "I'm gonna paint it when I get home. What's your favorite color?" I reach over and brush a few errant strands of his mane away from his eyes. "Blue," I say. He grins and nods, picking up the pencil again and starting to draw. After dinner Sap Wood hurries off to his room, chattering about the colors he's going to use for my portrait. Willow returns her plate to the sink and quietly slips away, likely to her room and her books. The twins stand, talking quickly to each other, one completing the other's sentences. They walk towards the living room. "Oh, no," Mom says, standing up. "Ash, Oak, you two are washing dishes tonight. Get over to the sink." They turn around with identical wounded expressions. "Aw, Mom!" Ash Wood complains. "That's not—" "Fair," continues Oak Wood. "It's Heart's night—" "To do the dishes," finishes Ash. "Not after the mess you made in there it isn't," Mom insists. "Heart can do the dishes tomorrow, but you two will clean up after yourselves tonight." They turn as one to our father. "Dad!" He shakes his head, standing. "Boys, do what your mother says." They both pout, trudging off to the kitchen. Dad turns back to Mom, kissing her cheek. "I'll be in my office. There's a lot to plan before we start tomorrow." "Of course, dear," she says with a smile. Once he's gone she picks up her plate. "Are you finished, Heart? I'll get that for you." "That's okay, Mom," I say quickly, standing up. "I can clear the table. It will keep the twins from sulking too much." She raises a brow. "Where is this burst of compassion coming from?" she asks warily. I smile, taking her plate from her. "I just want to avoid hearing them whine all night. Go ahead. Weren't you working on a new arrangement?" She watches me picking up plates and utensils for a moment. "Alright," she says at last, stepping toward the hall. "Thank you, Heart. I am looking forward to finishing it." With a last suspicious look at me, she walks off to her craft room. I carry a stack of plates and serving trays into the kitchen, setting it by the sink and my chattering brothers. Ash and Oak exchange a look, then Ash grins at me. "So, Heart, did you ask them yet?" I roll my eyes. "No, Ash, I haven't told them yet. I'm a grown mare, I don't have to ask permission." Oak nods at his brother. "He's Oak. I'm Ash." I raise a brow, pointing at him. "You're Oak." I point to Ash. "He's Ash." Oak sighs. "We can get Mom and Dad with that. How do you always know?" I smirk. "Ash is cuter." They both raise a brow, completely in sync. Ash speaks up again. "When are you breaking the news?" he asks. I take a deep breath. "After the table is cleared and they can both get some of their work done. I'll get them together." Oak nods slowly. "Well, then, good—" "Luck, Heart," Ash continues. He smirks and adds ominously, "You're going—" "To need it," Oak finishes. I knock lightly on the door of Mom's craft room, opening it a little. "Mom? Can I come in?" She looks over from her work table where flowers of dozens of shapes and colors lie scattered over the surface. In the middle is a large arrangement dominated by purple, five-pointed flowers. "Oh, Heart, just who I needed! Something about this one just doesn't feel quite right. What do you think?" I step closer, looking over her flower choices. "Who is this for?" I ask. "Buck Swifthoof," she says, adjusting one of the blooms. "I heard in the market this morning that he got signed to play professional hoofball in Fillidelphia. I wanted to send him this to congratulate him." "I sure hope Holly Blossom doesn't see it,” I quip. Mom furrows her brow. "His marefriend?" she asks. "Why wouldn't she like it?" I look at her, raising a brow. "Really, Mom? You loaded it with purple columbine." She nods. "Yes, for competitiveness, and purple is his favorite color." "Yes, but columbine also means infidelity." I explain, "Combined with the white hydrangea this says he's cheating on her and he's bragging about it." Her eyes grow wide. "Oh, that must be why it didn't feel right. Maybe lavender will work better." She steps over and kisses my forehead. "Thanks, Heart. How did you get to know so much about this." I smile at the kiss. "You've only told me about it since I was a filly." Mom starts pulling the columbine from the arrangement. "So why did you peek in?" she asks. "I have something I wanted to tell you and Dad," I say. "Will you come over to his office with me?" She turns her attention fully to me for the first time since I walked in. "That sounds ominous," she says. "What's this about, Heart?" I try to smile reassuringly, but feel my heart speeding up. "It's a good thing, I promise. I really want to tell you both together. Please?" She sighs and sets down her flowers. "Alright, alright," she concedes, "Let's go see your father." I follow her out to the hall, quietly willing my heart to slow down again. We step two doors down and Mom knocks on the office. There's a muffled, "Yeah?" from the other side and she opens the door. "Honey? Heart says she has something important to tell us." Dad looks up from the forest map in his hooves, raising a brow. "Important, eh? Come in, Heart, and tell us what's so important." I step inside past Mom and she closes the door, moving over beside Dad. I take a breath to steady myself and try to smile confidently. "Mom, Dad," I say, looking between them."Now, I want you to hear me out. I've been thinking about this for a long time, and it really means a lot to me. I think it will help me out in the long run, and help the family, too." Dad sighs, rubbing his forehead. "Please get to the point, Heart Wood. Are you asking for money for something?" I shake my head quickly. "No, Dad, nothing like that. In fact, it will save you money. You see, I…" I take a deep breath. "I want to move to Ponyville." There's silence as they both stare at me, looking stunned. Mom is the first to answer, shaking her head. "Why would you want to move so far away?" "It's not that far," I assure them. "It's just on the other side of Whitetail Woods." Dad stands up. "Don't be ridiculous. That's far too far away to make it to work. You'd travel all night, and spend all your bits on train fare." I nod, taking another steadying breath. "I know, Dad. That's why I wouldn't be working here anymore. I found out there's a lumber company just outside Ponyville that's hiring loggers. I plan on getting work there." He frowns at that, stepping around the desk. "Why would you abandon your family like that, Heart? We need you here." Mom adds, "How is this fair to your brothers and sister? Or to us? We'd all have to pick up your work on top of our own." "Willow and the twins think they can handle it," I say firmly. "They know about this already?" Dad asks quietly. I sigh. "Yes, they know. I told you I've been thinking about this. I've dreamed about going out on my own for years. Why wouldn't I ask my big brothers and my big sister if I was making a mistake?" "Why didn't you ask us?" Mom asks, sounding hurt. I shake my head. "Because I knew you'd both react like this, Mom. All my life you've told me how important the family business is." She looks at me sadly. "And what about Sap Wood? You two are so close." I nod slowly. "I'll explain it to him. It'll hurt both of us, but I know he'll see it my way in time. I'll write to him once a week, at least, so he knows I haven't forgotten him." Dad stays quiet and Mom continues, "Even so, I hate to see him hurt like that. You're a big part of everypony's lives here, Heart. Don't you understand how leaving would affect us all?" "I know," I say, reaching over and resting a hoof on her shoulder. "It's not like I'll be very far off. It's only two train stops down the line. I will come back and visit whenever I can." I look between them. "This is important to me like the business is important to you. You both told me over and over that selling firewood is our family's legacy." Dad jumps in, "Exactly! Our family has supplied firewood to the ponies around here for three generations before me. The trees we harvest were planted by your great grandfather, just like someday your children and grandchildren will harvest the trees we replant now. Why, we fuel—" "Half of Hoofington, I know!" I interrupt. I look between them both. "Please believe me, I'm proud to be part of this family. I love both of you so much, and Willow and the boys, too. I'm not giving up on the family, I'm trying to be true to myself." When they don't rush in to speak, I take the opportunity to press my case. "There's so much of Equestria outside of Hoofington, and I want to see it! I want to meet new ponies and try new things. It's my life, and I want to live it before I die. And who knows, maybe someday I'll come back and settle down here again. It's my home, and I'll never forget my roots. I really want you both to back me on this. Going out on my own won't be scary if I know you support me." They look at each other, and Dad sighs. I let my hopes rise that he might give in. "Absolutely not," he says firmly, turning and walking back to his desk. "We're not going to let you go off and ruin your life. You might end up broke with no way home, or worse, dead in a ditch somewhere or in a manticore's stomach." I look to Mom and she nods. "We only want what's best for you, Heart. You need to stay with your family." I turn and take a step towards the door, my ears drooping low. I stop and take a deep breath. "I wasn't asking your permission," I say firmly, raising my head. Mom gasps. "What did you say?" Dad asks slowly, his voice deep and quiet. I turn back to face them, Mom looking shocked and Dad frowning. "I said I wasn't asking for your permission. I'm a grown mare, Dad. I will choose how I live my life, not the two of you." "Heart Wood!" Mom says. Her voice is sharp and cross, like I'd said something that cost her a sale. "We are your parents. Don't you talk to us like that, young filly!" "I am not a filly anymore!" I clench my teeth to keep from shouting. "That's the whole point. I'm going to live as I see fit." Dad steps forward. His voice sounds as barely controlled as mine does. "Enough of this foolishness! Grown or not, as long as you live under our roof you will abide by our rules. You aren't going, and that's final!" We glare at one another, jaws tight and eyes narrow. Mom looks between us. "Maybe we should discuss this tomorrow," she says softly. "I'm sure after a good night's sleep we can settle this and find something for you to do in town. It will be alright. You'll see." I don't back down from my father's stare. Heat rises on my scalp. "No, Mom," I practically growl through clenched teeth. "I'm not going to find some distraction in town. I'm moving to Ponyville, with or without your support. You'll have to tie me to my bed to keep me here." Dad looks like he's ready to split wood with his bare hooves. "After all we've done to raise and protect you, this is how you thank us? By abandoning your family and our legacy?" "I don't want you to protect me!" I shout. "I'm not abandoning anypony. I'm going to make it on my own!" "Fine! Go!" he shouts, pointing at the door. "Get out! I never want to see your ungrateful hide again!" "You won't!" I shout back at him, then turn and stomp out of the room, slamming the door behind me. I storm off to my room, slamming that door shut as well. I drop down on the bed, tears streaming over my cheeks. I look up at the ceiling, trying to hold them back before I break down completely. "Heart?" comes a tiny, uncertain voice from the door. I look over into the frightened eyes of Sap Wood. "Why are you crying? Is it because of all the shouting?" I bite back the sobs that threaten to overwhelm me, wiping my eyes. "I'm okay, Sappy," I say with my voice cracking. "Come here." He steps in, closing the door. "Stop calling me that," he says, still sounding more concerned than angry. He approaches hesitantly until I hold out my forelegs for a hug. Then he rushes up to hug me tight. "Never again," I whisper and kiss his head. Sniffing back more tears I gently pull back and smile down at him. "That shouting is pretty scary, huh?" He nods quickly. "Yeah, it is." I nod as well. "It's pretty scary when you're the one shouting, too. Don't worry, though. Nobody's going to hurt you or shout at you. I promise." "Don't you and Dad love each other anymore?" he asks, lip quivering. I bite back another sob. "Of course we do," I say and give his shoulder a squeeze. "I just told Mom and Dad something they really didn't like. And I wouldn't back down when they told me to take it back." He frowns, scrunching up his forehead. "What did you tell them?" he asks. I open my mouth to answer, but suddenly feel my throat tightening up. I take a deep breath. "I told them I want to chase my dreams, Sap. They were angry because that means I won't be working at the firewood stand anymore." I pull him closer. "And it means I'm going to go away for a while." He gasps and looks up, eyes wide. "You're leaving me, Heart?" I close my eyes against the tears. "Only for a while, Sap. I'll come back to see you, and I'll write to you all the time." I kiss his forehead again. "Nothing could keep me away from my favorite little brother for long." He sniffs, wiping his eyes. "I don't want you to go," he whispers I nod slowly. "It's really hard for me to go, too. I'm going to miss you so much." "Then why are you going?" he asks. I pull back and look him in the eyes. "Imagine if you couldn't draw or paint anymore. How would you feel?" His eyes widen. "I would hate that!" he says. "Painting is all I want to do." I smile. "And you should never let anypony keep you from doing it. But for me, I want to travel and find my own path just as much as you want to paint. Do you understand?" He nods slowly. "Yeah, I think I do. When are you going to go?" "I think I'm going to get going right away, Sap. Tonight." I glance at the door, picturing Dad's office beyond it. "Dad really strongly encouraged me to leave as soon as I could." He hugs me again. "That's too soon!" he cries. I pat his back lightly. "I know it is." Putting on a smile I look into his eyes again. "How about you help me pack my saddlebags? I don't want to miss anything important." He nods, then his eyes get wide again. "I'll be right back!" he says and runs from the room. I wipe away a tear and get out my bags. I don't take much, just some cold-weather clothes suitable for work and the bits I've saved up. I look to the mirror over my dresser and the pictures of my friends and family. I'm packing them away when Sap Wood returns. "I want you to have this, Heart!" he says eagerly, holding out a paper. I take it and look at a beautiful painting of me against a blue background, exactly as he'd sketched me earlier. I smile, tears welling up. "It's beautiful, Sap. The best one yet." I hold it out to him. "Are you sure you don't want to keep it, to remember me?" He shakes his head. "I'll never forget how you look, Heart," he says. "I can paint another." I nod once. "In that case, thank you, Sap. I'll take it, but," I pull one of the photos out of my bag, handing it to him. "Only if you take this." He looks at the photo of the two of us posing in front of the firewood stand. "Don't you want it?" he asks. "You gave me a picture that shows how much you love me," I say with a smile. "I want you to have a picture that shows how much I love you." He nods quickly, squinting against tears, and hugs me again. I hug him back tightly. "I'm gonna miss you, Heart. I love you." I kiss his head again. "I love you, too, Sappy." His face scrunches in a frown, but he doesn't let go. "Stop calling me that!" I smile and say softly, "Never again." I eventually convince Sap Wood to head to his room so I can leave, but not before many more hugs. With my saddlebags strapped on tight I walk slowly down the hall. I look at the closed doors of the office and craft room, half expecting them to fly open and my parents to rush out to me. I pause by the craft room, lifting my hoof to knock, then lower it and move on. No one is around the living room or kitchen. My ears droop and I sigh, disappointed that Willow and the twins must be in their rooms. As much as I want to say goodbye, I can't bring myself to walk back down the hall. I take another look around, wondering when I'll see home again. I step to the front door and open it to leave "Did you think you could get away without saying goodbye?" Willow asks, standing on the porch between Ash and Oak. I gasp, a smile spreading over my face. "What are you all doing out here?" I ask, stepping up to hug each of them in turn. Oak smirks and says, "We are waiting—" "For you, obviously," Ash finishes. "After how your conversation with Mom and Dad ended," Willow adds, "wasn't it likely you would leave tonight?" I sigh. "You all heard that, huh?" Ash grins. "Only because we—" "Were eavesdropping," Oak says, matching his brother's grin. "Not that anypony within a mile—" "Couldn't hear how it ended." Ash nods. My cheeks feel warm and I smile ruefully. "Yeah, that wasn't how I'd hoped that would go." I admit. "You should know I told them that I talked with you all about my plans. They might be a little mad " Oak and Ash shrug in harmony. "Let them be," Oak says. "We're not going to—" "Leave our little sis hanging." Ash adds. With a look between them, Ash pulls a bag out from behind them, and Oak picks up an axe. I take the axe first, pulling the cover off the head. There, etched into the metal around the handle, is my cutie mark. "My axe?" I ask. "Isn't Dad going to be angry about giving away business property?" Willow shakes her head. "Isn't Dad the one who had it customized and gave it to you on your birthday? That makes it yours in our book." Ash pushes the bag forward. "And these are snacks to hold you over until a restaurant opens." I look at the bag, then up at my brothers' grinning faces. I swallow hard and reach cautiously for it. "I made the snacks," Willow says. "Do you think I'd let these two near food meant for someone we love?" The twins give a disappointed, "Aww!" at her statement. I sigh. "Whew," I say with a grin, taking the bag. "I wasn't sure I'd survive the night." We all laugh and I pull them into a group hug. "Thank you all," I say softly. "I love you." Pulling back, I look them in the eyes. "Take care of Sappy, won't you? He's going to feel alone for a while. Make sure to encourage his artwork. He needs to create." "Don't worry, Heart," Ash says. "We'll make sure—" "He's never alone. He'll be sending you sketches within the week." Oak finishes. "We love him as much as we love you, Heart," Willow adds with a smile. "Now are you going to chase those dreams of yours or stand on the porch all night?" I sigh and hug each of them in turn. "You are the best." I say, smiling. "I'll write as soon as I can." With that I step off the porch and walk away. I look back and wave at them. I see a curtain pull aside in Sap Wood's window, and I smile and wave to him, too. With a deep, steadying breath I trot toward the train station to find a place to sleep. > 2. Planting the Seed > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Day One The morning sun makes me squint as I step off the train, yawning. I hold a hoof up to shade my eyes and look around Ponyville for the first time. "Not too much different than Hoofington," I murmur, watching ponies come and go. There's no sign of where I want to go. I step over to the ticket booth and wave to get the attention of the pony inside. "Hello? Can you help me?" He puts down his breakfast and steps over. His brow raises when he spots the axe strapped to my saddlebags. "Yes? Do you need tickets?" I spot his look and smile comfortingly (I hope.) "Work tools," I explain. "And no, I just arrived from Hoofington. Can you point me to Top Timber's Exotic Woods?" He gives a slight nod at the explanation. "Sure. They're on the edge of town, next to the Everfree Forest. Just follow that road east." "Thank you so much," I say and give him a wave, turning and trotting to the road. "He seems friendly enough," I say quietly. The road winds around the edge of town, leaving much of it a mystery for now. I catch the scent of fresh apples as I pass an outdoor market, and my belly rumbles in response. I almost turn in to find that apple stand, then I stop myself. "Can't get distracted," I remind myself. "Plenty of time for breakfast after I get the job. I've still got some of Willow's snacks, anyway." Before long I see a small building next to a large yard filled with stacks of logs of many varieties. The sign is next to the door simply reads "Office" with no sign of the business name. "This has to be the place," I say. I walk up to the building, quietly talking myself up. "You can do this," I murmur. "Cutting trees is your special talent. They will see how lucky they are to hire you." In the back of my mind I hear Dad yelling and Mom trying to talk us down. Sappy's sad eyes appear in my thoughts. I close my eyes and take a breath, willing the memories away. "You've got this," I say, opening my eyes, and approach the building. I knock on the office door, then take a step back and smile. Instead of somepony opening the door, I hear a gruff voice call, “Yeah? Come in!” Opening the door I step inside the small room. “Excuse me, I was told to ask for Top Timber.” From behind a large wooden desk, an earth pony stallion with a brown coat nods his head without looking up from the scroll in his hooves. “You found him," he says, distracted, and picks up another page, looking between the two. "What do you want?” I can’t see his eyes behind the paper, only his gray mane cut in a sharp flattop. “I’m looking for work, and I heard you have an opening.” He looks up from the scroll for only a second, sizing me up. I see myself as he must see me: a short, slight-framed mare with a yellow coat and a light brown mane, smiling hopefully. He turns his eyes to his paperwork again, waving me off with his free hoof. “Sorry, kid. I don’t have any sales positions open and I don’t need a secretary.” “I wouldn’t waste your time with that, Mr. Timber. I heard you need a logger, and I’m the mare for the job.” His brow raises and he lowers the scroll. “Is that so? You ever cut trees before, Ms.—” “Heart Wood” I answer. I step up closer to the desk. “And only since I could lift an axe. My family’s business is selling firewood, and everypony helps.” “Yeah? Why aren’t you working there, then? Have some kind of falling out?” I laugh softly. “No, no. It's just between my big sister and my three brothers, the family business is well in hoof, so I’m branching out to see what I can make of myself.” For the first time since I entered the office, Top Timber smiles. “Alright. You heard right, I’m short a logger on my best crew. One of my ponies got mauled by a timberwolf and needed medical attention. It’s slowing the rest down to the point that they might not fill all the orders we have.” He stands, walking around the desk. “Normally I’d have my crew chief interview you first, but that will have to happen in the field.” My eyes grow wide. “You mean I have the job?” He looks me right in the eyes, towering over me in the small space. “I like your ambition. I’ll give you a chance, but Clear Cut runs that crew and in the field, it’s his word that matters. You tell him that I sent you and he’ll decide if he’s going to use you.” He opens the door. “Come around back and I’ll introduce you to Strong Hoof, one of my teamsters. She’s about to head out to Clear Cut’s crew with supplies and to collect the logs they have ready. You can walk out with her.” I follow along, trotting fast to keep up. “I didn’t think you’d start me right away.” Top Timber snorts. “You wanted to branch out, kid. That means grabbing opportunities when they come. Do you still want the job, or is it moving too fast for you?” “Oh, I want it!” I say eagerly, falling into step beside him. "You know, Strong Hoof, you're a really great listener," I say as the tents of the logging camp come into view through the dense underbrush. Glancing at her, I catch the end of her eye roll and blush. "Sorry if I talked your ear off. I'm just a little bit nervous about this job." "I never would have guessed," Strong Hoof says dryly. She pulls the wagon up beside a pile of logs with grey bark. The cut ends contrast the bark with rings of vivid rainbow colors. Seeing my stare, she says, "Zap apple wood," as if it explains everything. Before I can ask, a booming voice calls from the largest tent. "Strong Hoof! Just in time. Log Jam spilled the last of the coffee." Out of the tent steps the largest stallion I've ever seen, his brown coat and green mane making him almost look like the trees all around us. He stops smiling when he sees me, eyeing me up for a moment before he turns back to Strong Hoof. "What's this kid doing here?" He asks I step forward, speaking before Strong Hoof can answer. "I'm Heart Wood. Are you Clear Cut? Top Timber said he would give me a chance as a logger to fill out your crew, if you approve." I smile in the face of the stallion's scowl, trying to keep my nerves from showing. He glances at Strong Hoof, who nods and starts unloading the wagon without a word. "Did he, now? Timber thought you could keep us on schedule and not slow us down?" He steps around me, looking me over more closely as several other stallions and a single mare emerge from the large tent to watch. "Can you even lift an axe? We don't have any foal-sized ones." He laughs, echoed by the rest of the crew. My smile falters, but I keep my head high. I step to the wagon and pull out my axe, hefting it over my shoulder with ease. The sharp edge gleams in the sun. "Need some firewood?" I ask, trying to sound casually confident. The crew falls silent and the stallion stares at me hard. "Alright, yeah, I'm Clear Cut. Show me what you've got." He points to a thriving elm next to the path. "Cut us some fuel." I look the tree over top to bottom as I approach, frowning. "Are you sure you want this one?" I ask. "Why? Too much work for you?" He answers, smirking. I shrug. "No, that's not it. This one is just really green and won't burn well. Plus that beehive," I point with the axe, "will make it really uncomfortable to be around here when it comes down." There's a murmur from the crew, and he nods. "Which one would you choose, then?" I take a moment to look at the surrounding trees, making a show of considering them, before stepping up to an older oak, twice as thick as the elm. "This one." "Why?" he asks curtly. I smile again. "This one is a lot older, so the wood will be drier. Only the sapwood will be wet, and it will burn away faster. Also, about a third of the tree looks dead, but there's no sign of animals nesting there. That wood will be dry and ready for a fast fire. If you don't need the whole tree, I can cut the dead limbs for plenty of firewood for one night." The stallion chews on his lip, glancing at Strong Hoof, who shrugs in response. "Alright, that one. Bring it down." I nod and step up, assessing the tree. I line up my axe, looking back at where the tree will fall. I hear some laughs from the crew and try to ignore them, focusing on the tree. Just when Clear Cut clears his throat, I swing the axe hard. The blade carves deep into the bark and wood, and I pull back, swinging just as hard in an angle towards the first cut. A few swings later a wedge of wood falls away. I swing again and again, cutting into the thinnest point, then abruptly step back and bring the blade into the opposite side of the trunk. Two swings later, the tree groans with snapping wood and starts to lean. "Heads up!" I shout, watching the tree fall over the path. Once it's down, I put my axe over my shoulder and turn back to the crew. The ponies all stare at me, their laughter silent. The big stallion speaks first. "Alright, that was quick, but how is Strong Hoof going to get her wagon past with a load of lumber now?" I step up to the fallen oak. "By the time she's loaded, it won't be here." He chews his lip again. "Okay, you're on. You get that path clear before the wagon is loaded and you've got the job." I nod, grinning, and set into sectioning the oak immediately. It doesn't take long to separate dead wood from live, then to cut them short enough to stack beside the path. I pull the last branch from the path, leaving only leaves, then look at the wagon in time to see Strong Hoof and one of the loggers hoisting the last log onto the loaded wagon. Clear Cut shakes his head, smiling for the first time since he first saw me. "Alright, rookie, you got your shot. Welcome to the crew." The other ponies whistle and stomp, cheering. "Now come in and get some lunch." He and the others pick up the supply crates, carrying them into the tent. Grinning wide, I gather some firewood and haul it into the tent on my back. Day 2 I lie on the cot in my tent with my blanket held up over my head. The deep and steady breathing of my tent mate, Buzzcut, fills my ears, but it isn't the reason I'm awake. The soft glow of my firefly lantern fills the space under the blanket while I look at Sap Wood's painting. For the hundredth time since I left my thoughts return to that last night. The pleading, the yelling, Sappy's sad eyes, it all plays out, over and over. I sniff back some tears, feeling my brother's tight hug. "I did the right thing," I whisper, trying to convince myself. A warm yellow glow surrounds my cot. "Need some more light?" Buzzcut asks quietly. I pull back the blanket, finding him lying on his cot, propped up on one leg with his horn glowing. I wipe my eyes and tuck the painting under the blanket. "Oh, hey," I say, setting the lantern aside. "Sorry, did I wake you?" He smirks and shakes his head. "Naw, this is almost when I usually get up. It's not long until dawn." He nods towards the blanket. "What's keeping you up? If you don't mind me asking." I hesitate, then sigh and hold out the painting. The yellow glow surrounds it and carefully lifts it from my hoof. Buzzcut looks it over, nodding. "That's a good likeness. Self-portrait?" I snort a laugh. "I can barely draw stick ponies," I say. "No, my little brother Sap Wood painted that, the night I left." He smiles and floats the paper back to me. "He's really good. Almost as good as you are with your axe. It's pretty clear he loves you a lot, from how he drew you." I reach up and wipe the corner of my eye, then take the picture back. "Yeah. He's always been closest to me out of all of us." He raises a brow. "Big family?" "I guess so," I say. "I'm the fourth of five kids. There's my sister Willow Leaf who's oldest, then the twins, Ash Wood and Oak Wood. Sappy is the youngest, still a school pony." "I'm sensing a theme," he says with a smirk. I chuckle. "Yeah, Dad is really big on tradition, from names to the family firewood business. Mom supports him, even if her real passion is flowers." He nods. "Sounds like you're a little homesick." "Maybe a little," I say with a sigh. Sap Wood's face lingers in my mind. "At least they support you, going out on your own," he says. I never want to see your ungrateful hide again! Dad's last words to me echo through my thoughts. I force a smile back to my lips. "What about you? Got a lot of siblings back home?" Buzzcut laughs. "Nope, only child. It's just my parents and me. They weren't too excited about me heading out in the woods to work, but they still support me." I chuckle lightly. "After naming you Buzzcut I would think they had something like this in mind " A grin spreads over his face. "Actually, they're both mane stylists. They were hoping I'd follow in their hoofsteps, but when it became clear my special talent was working with power tools they relented. Can't really trim a pony's mane with a chainsaw." He winks. I laugh, laying back on the cot. He laughs along with me. "Quiet down!" Clear Cut bellows from three tents over. We both stifle our laughs, looking at each other. "Come on," Buzzcut says quietly, pulling off his blanket and standing up. "Let's go get breakfast started. The boss will be in a better mood if we get an early start." I nod and carefully tuck the painting back into my saddlebag. "Lead the way, Buzzcut," I say. "Call me Buzz," he says and opens the tent flap. "Ok, Buzz," I answer. "You can call me Heart." With that we duck out and trot over to the mess tent. I follow Buzzcut, Aspen, and Log Jam through the dark forest, pulling the wagon along behind them. The trees press close on all sides. "What are we after today?" I ask, trying to pick a path wide enough. "More zap apple trees," Aspen answers. I wait for more, but all three stay quiet, looking around as we move deeper into the dark. "Do you usually send this many ponies to harvest them?" Buzz smirks. "Nope. Usually the whole crew goes. Plum Blossom and the boss will be along when they finish changing the wheel on the second wagon." I frown, glancing at the trees around us. It's dark and spooky, but it doesn't seem much worse than the deeper parts of Whitetail Woods. "Wouldn't we get more done in smaller teams?" "Not in the Everfree," Aspen says. "What's so special about it?" I ask. "Apart from having apple trees with rainbow wood." Log Jam breaks his silence. "This place ain't natural. The plants, the animals, even the weather, they all get along without any pony taking care of them." He shakes his head. "And there's creatures here you don't want to meet." I nod. "Oh, yeah. Top Timber mentioned some kind of wolf." The three exchange a look, their mood growing darker. "Timberwolves," says Buzzcut after a minute. "Vicious beasts made of magic and wood in the shape of wolves, twice the size of a pony. And worse, they travel in packs." He looks back at me over his shoulder. "If you see one, you drop everything and run the other way." I look at him, trying to read his expression. "You all are joking with me," I say, somewhat uncertainly. "Not about timberwolves," Aspen says firmly. "They're the reason Green Seed isn't with us." "Was he the pony that got hurt?" I ask. They all nod. "He wasn't paying attention and a pack surrounded him," Log Jam explains. "We scared them off with magic and burning branches." He sighs. "But not before they took one of his legs." I gasp, stopping for a moment. They all stop and look back at me. "That's terrible," I'm finally able to say. Buzzcut nods. "That's why we don't go into the Everfree alone," he says. I nod. Suddenly the dark forest seems much more threatening, and I pay more attention to the surrounding trees than the path. "How much further to the zap apple trees?" I ask. "You're in luck," Log Jam says, pointing ahead. There, along the edge of a clearing, is a large stand of grey trees. The branches are twisted and barren with no sign of leaves. "They don't look like much," I say, pulling the wagon into the clearing and unhooking the harness. Buzz grins. "They'll fool you. When their fruit comes in they look like a whole different tree." The four of us unload our tools, always with an eye on the surrounding forest. "Why don't you start on the first one, Heart?" says Aspen, pointing at a particularly large tree. "It's your first time, after all." I glance at their faces, finding earnest expressions. "Alright then," I say and line up with the tree. I roll my shoulders, then pull back and take my swing. The axe head strikes the bark and stops dead. A nimbus of energy surrounds the trunk, runs up to the branches, then shoots back to my axe, all in a heartbeat. My body lights up with the shock and I'm thrown across the clearing. I groan, muscles twitching as I push myself up off the ground. All three of them are laughing loudly. Log Jam clutches his belly, looking like he might fall over. I frown, rubbing my sore forelegs. Aspen walks over with a huge grin on his face. "I'm sorry," he says, offering a hoof. "Did I forget to tell you they're magic trees?" That draws more laughs from Buzzcut and Log Jam. Giving him a dirty look, I accept his hoof and he helps me back up. "Very funny," I say. Despite my wounded pride, I can't help but smile a little in the face of their laughter. "So, how are we supposed to fell trees that do that?" Buzzcut gets himself under control, still chuckling a bit. "No offense, Heart. That's happened to all of us. As far as chopping down the trees, that's one of the reasons there's a unicorn on the crew." He taps his horn, then turns to the tree. Moments later his horn and the tree trunk both glow yellow. "Try it now," he says. I raise a brow, but retrieve my axe and step up to the tree again. With a glance at the others, I take a breath and swing. I'm surprised to feel the blade carving deep into the trunk. I'm just pulling back my axe for a second swing when a low growl rumbles from between the trees. I turn my head and look right into a pair of glowing green eyes moving towards us through the shadows. I stumble back toward the others. "Back to camp!" Log Jam shouts and turns back to the trail, followed quickly by Aspen and Buzzcut, running. I start after them, forgetting to drop my axe as I run. The others quickly pull ahead. Buzzcut looks back and yells, "Heart, drop that! We'll come back for it." I drop my axe, looking back and seeing the timberwolf loping after me. Another leaps from the treeline, throwing it's head back and howling. I look ahead just as another of the creatures howls right in front of me, stepping from the trees. I skid to a halt almost too late, ending up muzzle to muzzle with it. Sour, rotten breath blows over me. The timberwolf's jaws open wide. I scramble backwards as the jaws close where my head was. "Heart!" I hear Buzzcut yell behind me as I run hard, looking over my shoulder at the timberwolf starting to chase me. I look where I'm going and yelp, the first wolf standing and waiting with jaws open. I drop to the ground, sliding right under the timberwolf's belly. I hear the jaws closing with a wooden thunk. I clear its hind legs and roll to my hooves, running hard. The third timberwolf looms before me, blocking the path entirely. I stop, looking back at the two chasing behind. There's a loud sound like none I've heard before, and one of the timberwolves shatters into kindling. Buzzcut charges forward, horn glowing, yelling a challenge. The other one behind me turns and faces him with a growl. There's another blast and the legs come off it as it jumps at him. It falls and breaks apart. I hear the third growl and turn to see it jump. I yelp and drop, rolling forward under it's leap, coming to rest against my axe. "Buzz! Look out!" I yell. He shoots more magic, but the timberwolf lands and jumps again, over Buzzcut's blast. His eyes go wide and he tries to dodge the massive creature, but it knocks him down before landing and turning back. He aims his horn, but the yellow glow fades. He backs up towards me, the timberwolf stalking forward. I grab my axe and run at him full-gallop. I shout, "Buzz! Duck!" and swing as hard as I can. Buzzcut drops to the ground as the wolf leaps at him. Its eyes grow wide when its prey disappears to be replaced with a gleaming axe head swinging towards it's head. Swing. Chop. The impact knocks me off my hooves, but the timberwolf collapses into a pile of wood. I look around wildly for more timberwolves. The forest is silent except for my labored breath and my racing heart. I step over and offer a hoof to Buzz, helping him up. He looks at the remains of the creatures, panting for breath, then turns to me. "You saved me," he says, sounding impressed. I nod. "Yeah, but you saved me first," I say, trying to slow my breathing. "Let's call it even." He smiles and gives me a hug, which I return gratefully. "Rookie!" Clear Cut yells as he and the rest of the crew run towards us. I turn to greet them with a smile, but it fades under his scowl. "What do you think you're doing?!" "I… I was… Buzz was in danger," I stammer in the face of his anger. "I couldn't let him get hurt." He steps right up to me, glaring down at me. "He was only in danger because he was saving your flank, rookie! Didn't they tell you to run if you see timberwolves?" I look around for support but the rest of the crew are silent. "I mean, yes, they did, but it happened so fast." "I don't want excuses!" he shouts. "That was a damned fool thing to do. If it happens again, you run, got it?" "I, ah, I mean, yes, boss," I say, ears drooping and lowering my head. Clear Cut nods once. "Alright, then. Everypony grab the gear. We'll come back when the pack moves on." "Yes, boss," the rest say and hurry to load up the wagon. I furrow my brow. "But they're all beaten," I say. He turns and looks at me hard. "Timberwolves can reform themselves after they break. We only have a few minutes." My eyes grow wide. "Yes, boss," I say and run back to help load the gear. Day 5 "Heads up!" I yell as the tall hoofleaf tree starts to sway, then falls with a crash alongside two others waiting to be cleaned and hauled away. Clear Cut shouts from further down the trail we've cut. "Outstanding, rookie! Take a break." I wipe the sweat from my brow. "I can keep going, boss," I call back. I see him shake his head and walk back toward the wagon. Stepping up to the next marked tree, I look over how it leans and where we need it to fall. I take aim and start swinging. The tree seems to resist the axe blade. Each swing takes more and more effort while cutting into the wood less and less. Before long sweat is pouring over my face and my forelegs ache I let out a frustrated grunt and kick the tree trunk. Even with what's cut from the base, it stays tall and unmoving. "Gah! Why won't it drop?" "You need to sharpen your axe," comes a voice behind me. I spin around to see Plum Blossom, the only other mare in the crew, approaching along the line of tree stumps. Despite her name, she stands almost a head taller than me with muscles any stallion would envy. "What?" I ask, panting to catch my breath. She points to the cut. "Look at the edges. Are they smooth or rough? Is the cut coming to an angle or is it mashed down?" I look down at the cut, already knowing she's right. "It's rough and mashed down," I admit, taking a breath to push down the growing sheepish feeling in my gut. She nods and gestures for me to lift my axe. I do, wincing a bit at the sight of the blunted edge. She only looks for a moment then asks, "When did you sharpen this last?" I feel my cheeks growing hot and can't quite look her in the eyes. "This morning," I reluctantly admit. Plum looks up at the afternoon sun. "That's what I thought," she says, turning back toward the wagon. "C'mon, let's get this sharpened up while you get some water." She doesn't wait. I follow behind with my axe on my shoulder, taking a strong interest in the forest floor. I hear the others walking by, joking with each other, but I can't quite look at them. Soon we arrive at the wagon. Plum Blossom holds out a hoof, and I reluctantly hand over my axe. "Get some water," she says, stepping to the grindstone. "I can do that," I say, watching as she spins up the the circular stone and looks over the edge carefully. A nod, and she answers, "I know you can. This is a nice axe: good quality, well maintained." She shrugs. "Well, except for today. And it's not everyone who puts their cutie mark on their tools." I can't help but smile a little. "My dad did that when he gave it to me." She starts moving the blade steadily over the spinning stone. I sip some water then add, "He was so proud when I got my mark for cutting trees. He gave me that for my birthday last year, after I wore out the first one." She nods, carefully working the blade. "Clearly he taught you how to care for it. I'm surprised you left." I shake my head, thoughts filling with Dad shouting. "I needed to see Equestria. There's nothing wrong with selling firewood, but it didn't feel like my purpose in life. I'm going to make my own path and make him proud." She looks over the blade and let's the wheel spin down. Handing it back she says, "Clearly it means a lot to you." I take it and inspect the axe head. It's a perfect sharp edge. "Well, we're only as good as our tools, right?" She smiles softly. "I meant your dad's respect." I can't respond, feeling like a whole free just fell on my gut. I open my mouth, but no words come and I close it Plum continues before I gather my thoughts. "There's nothing wrong with wanting somepony's respect. Your parents, your friends… the boss. It just makes for a bad reason for pushing yourself." She nods her head towards the tree I was trying to cut. "The boss knows we're only as good as our tools, and like our tools we've got to take some time to sharpen ourselves back up. He doesn't think any less of you for it." I sigh, nodding slowly. "I know. It's just that since the thing with the timberwolves I can't seem to do anything right. The boss yells at me for every little mistake. He's never even used my name." Plum smirks. "He calls you 'rookie' because you're the newest member of the crew. No matter how well you work, he'll decide when to stop and not a moment before. But if you wear yourself out like that axe head, eventually you'll get somepony hurt and he'll call you fired. Understand?" I nod and step toward her for a hug. She immediately steps back, wagging a hoof between us. "Nope. I'm not a hugger. Now are you feeling better enough to get back to work?" A smile crosses my lips and I nod. "Yep. Feeling sharp as an axe," I say. She chuckles and we both walk back to the work site. Day 9 "Watch it, rookie!" Clear Cut shouts. I look up in time to dive out of the way of the falling sugarpine tree. The furthest tips of the branches scratch my flank as it comes to rest. He stomps over, scowling. "I thought you said you cut trees before, rookie!" He shouts as I get back on my hooves. "Don't you know better than to walk next to a tree being felled?" I shrink back from the question, ears folding back. "I have!" I answer. "It just looked like from the lean of the tree and where you were chopping it would fall over there." I point to a more open area where Log Jam and Buzzcut stand watching. Clear Cut glares at me, jaw clenched. "No matter where it looked like it was going, rookie, you keep your head up when a tree's coming down. I don't want to lose any more crew to injuries." With a snort, he turns and walks towards the next marked trees. "Rookie, you and Buzzcut clean that log. Log Jam, get back to work!" "Yes, boss," I say dejectedly. I hoist my axe as Buzzcut trots over, floating his chainsaw in a field of yellow magic. I line up one of the smaller branches and cut it away in one chop. "The boss has really taken a liking to you, Heart," the unicorn says with a grin as he approaches the thicker branches. He floats his eye protection into place. I snort out a laugh, cutting more limbs off the log. "How do you figure that, Buzz? All he's done since I joined the crew is shout at me about every little mistake." "Exactly," Buzzcut says. "He usually lets us take a hit and learn from the mistake that way. Looks like he wants to protect you." "That's true," calls a voice behind me. I turn to see Plum Blossom walking up ahead of Aspen and the wagon. "When I started I tripped on a root and nearly fell into a ravine. Clear Cut just laughed and told me to take the path next time." I wrinkle my brow, chopping away more branches. "Why would he treat me any different?" I ask, looking between them. All three shrug, glancing at each other. "Maybe you remind him of somepony," offers Aspen as he rolls the wagon into position. I look his way. "You know who that is?" Aspen shrugs. "Might need to ask him, if you're brave enough." There's two loud crashes as more trees come down. "Less chatter and more work!" Clear Cut shouts from the treeline. "Yes, boss!" we all respond, and Buzzcut starts up the chainsaw. I don't have much time to ponder the question in my head as I trot over to the next tree to start cleaning away branches. Day 14 "So, Heart, did you ask him yet?" Aspen asks, flashing me a mischievous grin. I roll my eyes as I walk along beside him, pulling the wagon along the narrow track of open space left behind by our crew. "You know that I haven't," I say. "You would have heard Clear Cut shouting at me if I had." He chuckles, shaking his head. "You don't know that," he says, clearly enjoying teasing me. "He could just be waiting for you to ask so he can explain himself." I snort a laugh. "You know that if he wanted to say something he would. Clear Cut is a lot of things, but he's not afraid to speak his mind. You and everypony else in the crew just like watching me squirm while I figure out if I'm going to ask at all." Aspen shrugs. "It has been pretty entertaining. Nothing like new blood to keep things interesting." He flashes a smile. "Nothing personal, Heart." "I can handle it," I say lightly. "You don't grow up with four siblings and not learn how to endure a little teasing." Aspen laughs as we round the last bend in the trail. The ground slopes down from there to the edge of a small swamp surrounded by thick trees. Soon we see the crew waiting for us by several trees marked for cutting. I bring the wagon close enough to easily load the logs we're about to cut, unhitching myself from the yoke. I glance over the rest of the crew, leaning on their axes while a green earth pony strolls through the patch of marked trees. She keeps lifting her heavy-lidded gaze up to the highest branches of the whinnywood trees, brushing her tight red locks out of the way. When I hear her say, "Groovy," and wander on to the next tree I roll my eyes and trot over to the forepony. "Hey, boss, what's with that mare over there? I thought these trees were marked and ready." Clear Cut snorts, shaking his head. "She's from the Equestrian Society For the Preservation of Rare Creatures," he answers, disdain in his voice. "Turns out some protected critters live in this swamp, so she has to make sure none of them are nesting in the trees we're taking. Like anypony would miss one less hive of flash bees." I look back at the mare. She hums softly, seemingly oblivious to the impatient stares of the logging crew watching her. "Think she's going to take long?" Clear Cut rolls his eyes. "You got somewhere to be, rookie? You'd best hope she finishes fast. We aren't paid by the hour here." Still, he turns his attention to the green mare, who is starting a second circuit around the stand of trees. "How's it looking there, Miss Tree Hugger? Any sign of those critters we need to avoid?" She turns back to him, a relaxed smile on her lips. "It's all good news, Mr. Clear Cut. I don't see any sign of any of the three-tailed kitsune living in these trees. You can, like, continue anytime you want. I just need to watch in case anything turns up." I share the crew's relief, stretching and getting my axe ready. Tree Hugger moves back as we approach the trees. "Alright, you heard the pony," Clear Cut calls. "This bloodwood is the last order we need to fill. We get these trees cleared before sundown and the cider's on me tonight." The rest of the crew cheers, but I furrow my brow. "I thought these were whinnywood trees, boss," I say, implying the question. The crew all laugh, and the foreman laughs loudest. "That's just what the sales sheets call it, rookie. Every logger knows it's really called bloodwood." I look over the tree, from its plain gray-brown bark to its drooping deep-green leaves to the tightly-closed blue and orange flower buds. "Why do they call it that?" I ask. Clear Cut smirks, then nods toward one of the other stallions close to the first tree. "Show her, Log Jam." Log Jam grins. "Sure thing, boss." He raises his axe high, taking a mighty swing and burying the sharp blade deep in the tree's trunk. A whispy sound like a distant whinny rises through the swamp. When Log Jam pulls his axe free of the cut; the edge is stained crimson, and a thick red sap oozes from the wound in the side of the tree. "Get it now, rookie?" Clear Cut asks with a smirk. "Now get to work. Rookie, start on the next tree, and stay clear of those flowers when they fall. Buzzcut, you're on flower clean-up. Make sure you magic away every last one." "Yes, boss," I say, trotting over to the next marked tree while Log Jam continues chopping into the thick trunk. The strange whinny-like noise keeps echoing across the swamp with each stroke of his axe, and flowers rain down from the tree limbs. I pass by Buzzcut while his horn glows bright. A yellow aura surrounds each flower as it falls and then it bursts into flame, reduced to ash in moments. "What's with the flowers, Buzz?" I ask. "They look kinda pretty." "The pollen will make you really sick if it gets on you," he says quietly, focused on his magic. "Just stay clear of them and let me handle it." I shrug and step up to the next tree, looking for the best place to start my cut. I'm just raising my axe when I hear someone calling out "Whoa, dude!" Tree Hugger shouts. I turn to see her running towards Clear Cut, her eyes wide. "You have to stop! You have to stop them right now!" Clear Cut turns to face her, scowling. "What is it? You see one of those three-tailed whatsathings you were worried about?" She shakes her head, looking more and more manic with each breath. "No, not that. The trees-" Clear Cut holds up a hoof, cutting her off. "You're here to look out for your rare creatures. We'll worry about the trees." "No, dude, you don't understand!" Tree Hugger pleads. "The trees are-" He slams his hoof down. I swear I feel the ground shake. "The trees are the reason we're here, lady! Now step back and let us work." He looks at me, still scowling. "Get back to work, rookie!" he shouts. I turn quickly back to the tree, calling out, "Yes, boss!" I take a moment to line up my cut again and pull my axe back for a strong swing. "No! Stop!" I hear Tree Hugger shout. I take a breath, tensing my muscles for the blow. "Hey! What are you- Get back here!" I hear Clear Cut shouting. I start my swing. There's a flash of green and red in front of my target on the tree trunk, and Tree Hugger is there, holding her forelegs out wide over the face of the tree. "Stop! It's -" Everything seems to slow down. I'm committed to the axe swing, my muscles moving in their well-established pattern. I couldn't stop if I tried, and the mare's sudden appearance doesn't give me a moment to consider it. I see the axe head glinting in the sun, feel the momentum driving it forward, then the hard jolt of impact. Our eyes meet, shock shared between us. Blood splatters up over my face and hooves. I drop the axe and the world speeds up again. Tree Hugger falls to the ground, axe still planted deep in her barrel. Blood seeps out around the axe head. I kneel beside her, cradling her head. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry!" I say, my vision growing blurry with tears. Tree Hugger looks at me, breathing shallow and eyes wide. She reaches up and pulls my head down close to her muzzle. "Alive…" she whispers, then falls limp. "Get out of the way, rookie!" Clear Cut shouts right behind me before roughly pulling me away. Aspen and Buzzcut take my place, moving to apply pressure to the wound with hooves and magic. "Plum, get the first aid!" She's already moving, running to the wagon, by the time he says the words. "Is she gonna be alright?" I sob, trying to step closer. Clear Cut shoves me back. "Stay clear, rookie! You've done enough." He grabs the first aid bag from Plum Blossom as she returns, pulling out bandages and handing them to Aspen. I keep moving backward, one hoof over my mouth and tears streaming over my cheeks. "I'm sorry," I keep saying, over and over. One of my hooves splashes in the water as I reach the edge of the swamp. Clear Cut finally looks up from the injured mare, turning to find me. He opens his mouth to speak, but stops when his eyes dart over towards the water and grow wide. "Rookie!" he yells, pointing at the water beside me. "Look out for the flower!" I turn to look, seeing a pretty blue and orange flower bud drifting up to my leg on a floating leaf. Before I can blink the flower opens. My vision goes dark as a thick cloud of orange pollen puffs out around me. I close my eyes tight, coughing while it dissipates. Once it clears I open my eyes again. I feel light-headed, blinking fast to get the pollen out of my eyes. I look over at Clear Cut. The entire crew stares at me, their mouths hanging open. Aspen raises a hoof over his mouth. "Sweet Celestia's slippers!" I hear him say. "What? What's wrong?" I say, taking a shaky step forward. Dizziness hits me and I sway on my hooves. "Rookie, stay right where you are!" Clear Cut yells. I stagger forward a little. It's getting hard to focus. "What do you mean, boss?" Clear Cut grabs my axe up from the ground at his hooves, brandishing it at me. Tree Hugger's blood drips from the cutting edge. "I said stay there," he shouts. "Don't take another step!" My mind snaps back to attention at the sight of the massive stallion threatening me with my bloody axe. I backpedal away from him with wide eyes until I trip and land on my rump. "I'm staying!" I squeak, eyes fixed on the blade. He follows my gaze to the bloody axe in his grip and sighs. "You're covered in pollen right now, rookie," he says, lowering the axe. "You've got to stay back or you'll get somepony else sick." He looks back at Aspen. "You got her bandaged up yet?" "Almost, boss," Aspen answers, quickly turning back to his work with Tree Hugger. "She lost a lot of blood. We need to get her to the hospital right away." "Yeah, that makes two of them," Clear Cut says. He rubs his forehead, sighing. He points at me. "Alright. Buzz, get the bucket from the wagon and get her washed up. You and Plum will run them to the hospital in the wagon when she's ready." He turns back to me. "Buzz is gonna float water over to you. Wash off every inch of yourself and we'll get going." "What's going on?" I ask. Nopony answers as a bucket floats to the swamp, scoops up some water, then moves to me. I turn to Buzzcut standing by the rest "Buzz, what did that flower give me?" Buzzcut glances at Clear Cut. They don't say a word to each other and Buzzcut returns his attention to me. "This is going to be cold, Heart. We'll get you cleaned up and over to the hospital. Maybe you got lucky." He dumps the water over me, already getting more. "Scrub hard, Heart." I gasp as the cold water pours over me. I start scrubbing at my fur, still watching Buzzcut and the mournful expression on his face. "Buzz, you're scaring me," I say, my voice cracking. Another bucketful splashes over me, soaking me head to tail. "What's going to happen to me?" He doesn't answer and continues dousing me with water, looking anywhere but in my eyes. After a thorough soaking he says, "Stand still." His magic surrounds me and I feel a rush of warmth. I gasp, picturing the falling flowers bursting into flame. I hold my breath, but no fire comes, only warm air on my coat until I'm dry. "She's ready, boss," Buzzcut calls. Clear Cut nods, looking over the bandages on Tree Hugger. A growing spot of blood already shows through. "Alright, float this one to the front of the wagon and the rookie in the back. Keep them separated on the way." "Yes, boss," Buzzcut answers, already floating Tree Hugger into the wagon. Plum Blossom straps herself into the harness. Moments later the air around me glows yellow and I lift off the ground. Buzz settles me into the back of the cart, then stows the first aid bag up front. "As fast as you can, Plum," Clear Cut orders. He looks me in the eye. "Hang in there, Heart Wood." As the wagon speeds off, Buzzcut galloping alongside Plum, I swear my heart stops beating. My eyes grow wide, and I feel tears on my cheeks. I watch Clear Cut as we speed away over the rough trail. "He used my name," I whisper as fear rises up to engulf me like the cold swamp water. > 3. Germination > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I sit on a hard exam bed, rubbing idly at the orange spots that have appeared along my legs. I look to the door of the private exam room. It's been nearly an hour since we arrived at the hospital. I understand why they rushed Tree Hugger back right away, but they seemed to also be in a rush to get me into the exam room. The waiting only makes me more nervous and I find myself thinking over the events of the morning. Was there anything else I could have done? If only I hadn't backed up to the water. If I only was watching my surroundings. If only I hadn't been trying so hard to impress Clear Cut. Finally the door opens and a pony steps in covered from head to hoof in a surgical gown, cap, mask, and hoof covers. I can tell he's a stallion from his size and build, but I can't see anything else about him. "Alright Ms Heart Wood," he begins, stepping closer. "I'm Dr. Palomino. I understand you aren't feeling so well today. Why don't you tell me what happened while I get your vitals?" I shake my head while he listens to my heart. "I don't know, doctor. I was working with my crew cutting some trees by a swamp. There was an accident and I found myself next to the water. Then this blue and orange flower sprayed a bunch of pollen at me. I started feeling dizzy and nopony would come near me." I look right at him, trying to catch his eye. "I'm kind of scared, doc. What did that flower do to me?" He focuses on what he's doing while I talk, getting my blood pressure after listening to my heart. At my question he finally looks up. "Let's not get ahead of ourselves, Ms Heart Wood. There's a few more tests I need to complete." He takes a bottle out of a cabinet, pouring a clear liquid in about halfway up. "You mentioned feeling dizzy. Have you had any urge to cough or sneeze?" I open my mouth to say no, but the moment I do I feel the need to cough overtake me. I cough several times with my eyes pressed closed. When I open them a bunch of bubbles are floating in front of me. I stare at them for a moment then another cough comes and more bubbles pop out of my mouth. I clap a hoof over my mouth. "What's happening doc?" Dr. Palomino calmly catches a bubble in the bottle he'd prepared, putting a lid on tight and shaking it. "We'll know in a moment," he says in a calm and reassuring tone. He holds up the bottle and looks close at the liquid inside. "We're looking for any color other than red." I stare intently at the bottle. The liquid stays clear. After a few moments I almost start to breathe again, then the liquid rapidly changes to a deep blood-red. I look at the doctor, my eyes growing wide. "What does that mean?" He closes his eyes for a moment. "I'm sorry, Ms Heart Wood," he says, opening them and looking at me. "I'm afraid you've contracted swamp fever." I shake my head. "I don't know what that is," I say, my voice cracking. The doctor nods solemnly. "It's a very rare disease caused by bloodwood pollen. All we know about it are the symptoms. Mottled coat, dizziness, bubble coughing, shock sneezes, confusion…" He trails off for a moment, then seems to steady himself. "And the final stage, where the infected turns into the tree that dropped the disease-spreading flowers." I stare at him. I feel my heart racing, my mouth going dry. For a moment, I can't seem to find words, my brain doing all it can to wrap around what the doctor just said. "But, you can treat it, right?" I ask, barely at a whisper. "You have a medicine that will cure me?" I see his eyes soften, then he slowly shakes his head. "I'm sorry. There is no known cure." My breathing stops. I search what little of his face I can see, desperate to find some hint of a cruel joke. Seeing only sincere compassion, I let out a whimper. Suddenly I can't pull enough air into my tightening chest. "Please. Please, there's gotta be something, anything." I don't even try to hold back the sobs overtaking me, my sight blurring with tears. "Sweet Celestia, please!" He starts to reach out a hoof in a gesture of comfort, then stops himself, taking a step back. "I truly wish there were, Ms Heart Wood. We'll get you admitted and make you comfortable. Right now you are highly contagious, so I'm afraid you'll need to be isolated. I'll send the nurse in to get you to your room." He turns towards the door. "Doctor!" I call, sniffing back my tears enough to speak. "How… How much… I mean, how…" I can't seem to finish the question, each word closer pulling another sob from deep within my barrel. I start to ask again and a coughing fit overtakes me, filling the air with bubbles. Dr. Palomino waits until I can catch my breath once more. "Ten days," he says softly. "Sometimes a day more or less, but on average it takes ten days to run its course." He opens the door, then looks back. "I'm so sorry." With that, he exits and closes the door, leaving me alone with my tears. Day 15 I wake up in the early morning hours, long before Celestia raises the sun. I lay on the bed with my eyes closed. "Please be a bad dream," I whisper, then open my eyes. Nothing's changed. Even in the dark I can see the blank walls all around, and the curtain that can surround my bed pushed to the wall. I smell the sharp and biting scent of the antiseptic even now, hours after they scrubbed the room before I was brought in. The little nightstand beside the bed is empty except for a few sanitary wipes, a cup of water, and a call button to summon the nurse. I take a deep breath. I let it out slowly, thinking about the day before. When yesterday started I saw so many possibilities. I would build a name for myself, work hard, maybe even start my own lumber company one day. Now, I only have nine more days. I feel my chest growing tight, preparing for another rush of tears and misery. I cough instead, bubbles floating around the bed. Once I can stop I let my head drop to the pillow again. "It's just not fair," I say, tears welling up again. I'm surprised any are left. "What did I do to deserve this?" As if in answer, the image of Tree Hugger's face fills my mind. I see the shock in her eyes, feel the impact of the axe in my hands and the warm spray of blood over my face. I press my eyelids closed tight, but the image remains. "It wasn't my fault," I whisper. "It was an accident. I didn't want it to happen." The tears flow again, my sobs interrupted only by more bubbly coughs. Some time later exhaustion wins out and I pass out again. There's no escape in my dreams. Every moment plays out in excruciating detail, over and over. Nothing is left out, from Tree Hugger to the flowers to the looks on the crew's faces. Through it all, a soft whisper teases at my ears, just quiet enough that I can't make out the words. I try to run, but every way I turn brings me back to her body, the axe, and those cursed trees. The whispers continue, and the trees close in around me. I scream. I wake up again, the world still dark. I weep quietly. The dream images won't stop playing out behind my eyes. It all begins again, like it has since I went to bed. "Really, sugarcube, you should eat something," Nurse Sweetheart says through the speaker beside the observation window. She smiles warmly at me. "You've got to keep your strength up." I glance at the tray with half-lidded eyes. The daisy sandwich and juice look good, but the idea of eating it leaves me cold. "Just take it away," I say, rolling over away from my lunch. A blue glow shines behind me, and I hear the door open briefly. A few minutes later the speaker clicks on again and she asks, "Are you feeling up to some visitors, Heart Wood?" I turn my head, looking through the observation window. Behind the nurse I see several ponies. The closest steps forward where I can see clearly. "Mom?" My voice cracks and my chest tightens. I nod my head rapidly. Nurse Sweetheart steps away, gesturing the group forward. One by one they approach the window: my mom, dad, sister, and all my brothers. Mom smiles and steps closer to the glass. "How are you feeling, sweetheart?" I open my mouth to answer and a bout of coughing overtakes me. I can see my sister, Willow Leaf, staring at the bubbles with wide eyes. "Does that hurt? Ow!" she asks, then jumps away from our mom, rubbing her shin. Mom gives her a stern look, then immediately turns a warm smile towards me again. The coughing stops and I force a smile. "No more than a regular cough, Willow," I say, trying to sound normal. My voice sounds weak and rough as I hear the words. I look at my dad. "How come you're all here? Who's running the firewood stand?" He manages a sad smile, shaking his head. "Oh, don't worry about that, Heart. Being here with you is more important." He reaches up, wiping his cheek, drawing another disapproving glare from mom. I frown, looking between them. "But you both said our firewood fuels half of Hoofington. That's why you didn't want me to go. Running the stand was too important to the town and to the family." Mom speaks up. "Oh, sweetheart, none of that matters more than you. We all wanted you to know how much you mean to us." She looks around at the rest. "Isn't that right?" They all murmur their agreement, some only half-heartedly. My little brother, Sap Wood, stares down at his hooves I look his way until I catch his eye. "Hey, Sappy. How are you holding up?" He shrugs, glancing up at mom. "I'm alright, Heart. I missed you." I hold up a foreleg, showing the orange spots all along it. "How do I look in orange, Sappy? I know it's your favorite color." He looks at my leg, then back at mom. "It looks good, Heart," he says flatly. Mom speaks up. "He's been moping since you left," she says brightly, like she's greeting a regular customer at the stand. "We've tried to tell him you're following your dreams, but it hardly helps. You two were… are so close, after all " I look them all over, finding smiles both sad and forced on all of them. My older brothers won't meet my eyes from where they stand behind our parents, identical grudging smiles on their identical faces. I press my hoof to my forehead, taking a steadying breath. "Okay, Mom, what's going on?" Her features freeze. "Whatever do you mean, sweetheart? We just heard you were sick and came to see you." I stare back at her, my jaw clenched. "Really? You don't think you're all acting a little strange?" She smiles a little wider. "I don't think we're acting strange, sweetheart. We just want you to feel better." I scoff. "No?" I wave a hoof at them. "Sap Wood hates being called Sappy. He calls me out every time I do. The twins haven't been this quiet when they're together in, well, ever. Willow never stops asking questions." I look back at her. "And you're giving me your customer voice. You've never used it with me before." Dad steps up to the glass. "We came to support you, Heart. What's so strange about that?" "Apart from you saying you never wanted to see me again?" I throw the words back at him. "Wasn't that what you said when I told you about going out on my own?" Sappy gasps, peering up at our dad. "Daddy, you said that to Heart?" I can see tears welling up in his eyes. Dad looks at him, then me, then back. "That wasn't, I mean, yes, I said that, but I didn't mean it. I was just angry." "You haven't said anything you didn't mean in my whole life, Dad," I glare at him, pulse racing. "You didn't believe I could make it on my own. You told me I'd end up dead somewhere." I let my head fall back to the pillow. "Looks like you were right. You must be happy." I hear a gasp. I think it's Willow, but I just keep staring at the ceiling. Mom speaks after a moment, using that infuriatingly-pleasant tone she's used since she arrived. "Now, Heart Wood, all that is in the past. We're here for you now. That's all that matters. You'll see, everything will be fine." I raise my head and stare at her, heat rising on my scalp. "No, Mom, it won't. Don't you get it? There's no cure for this!" I point at the spots on my face. "You can't fix this with a fake smile or pretend it all away!" Tears flow over my cheeks even as I shout. "I'm going to die and you won't even admit it!" They all stare at me with stunned expressions. Willow and Sappy are weeping. Mom opens her mouth to speak, her pleasant mask gone. "Heart… I just…" I jab my hoof out to the nightstand, hitting the call button. "I think you should all leave," I say quietly, almost keeping my voice steady. Nurse Sweetheart arrives a moment later. "I'm tired," I tell her. "I want to get some rest." I lay back down, staring up again so I won't see their faces. "I'm sorry, but you'll have to go now," Nurse Sweetheart says gently but firmly. I hear the sound of hoofsteps slowly moving away from the speaker. There's a sudden clamor of small hooves on tile, and Sap Wood's trembling voice over the speaker. "Heart?" I look over, meeting his tear-sparkled eyes. "I love you, sis," he says urgently. I feel tears flooding over my cheeks again. I manage a smile. "I love you too, Sappy." He smiles, sniffing back tears. "Don't call me that," he says without heat. I nod. "Never again," I promise. He sobs, touching the glass with a hoof. I hold out my own to him. He steps away, running back to the others. I lay back again, crying hard, until another coughing fit fills the air with those cursed bubbles. I lay there in the dark, staring up into the shadows. My tears stopped hours before, but my chest stays tight and I can't seem to take a deep breath without it catching in my throat. The bubbles have stopped for now, but I fear they'll return any moment. I rest a hoof on my belly, willing my dinner to stay down. Nurse Sweetheart insisted I eat after skipping lunch, so I swallowed down a few bites. "You really should get some sleep, sugarcube," comes a gentle voice from the speaker. I look, finding Nurse Sweetheart behind the window, smiling softly. "Don't you ever go home?" I ask with a sigh. She shakes her head. "I'm here as long as you need me. I grab a nap here and there in the staff lounge." She looks over her shoulder, then adds with a secretive grin, "Being the only unicorn on staff, it's safest for me to tend to you." I snort a laugh, looking up again. "So you wouldn't be here if you didn't have to be either. Just like me." "Oh, sugarcube, you don't understand," she says. "I could go home if I wanted to. The other nurses can tend to you, but I care about them as much as I care about you." I look back again, seeing her genuine smile. "At least somepony does," I murmur. She raises a brow. "It sure seemed like your brother did. Can I say something frankly?" I feel tears rolling down my cheeks as the image of Sap Wood fills my thoughts. "I think you just did." She chuckles. "I suppose I did." She looks me in the eyes. "It seemed to me that they all cared." Shaking my head I scoff. "They had a weird way of showing it." Sweetheart nods. "I've seen a lot of ponies dealing with a lot of stressful situations, including far too many facing the fact a loved one is dying." She shakes her head slowly. "Everypony deals with it differently. I know you needed them to meet you where you're at, and they didn't, but try not to hold it against them." I frown. More tears threaten to flow, but I bite them back behind my remaining anger. "Why shouldn't I? I needed them and they could only think about themselves." Her smile returns, soft and sad. "That's not what I saw, sugarcube. They all came here from Hoofington to see you and give what they thought you needed. They might've been wrong, but it's more than some ponies got from their families." The tears threaten to flow as my anger falters. I lay back again. "You're right, I should sleep." She sighs, then adds, "Sleep well, sugarcube. Ring if you need anything. I'll be right here." I'm back at the logging site, lining up my axe on the bloodwood tree. All around me come whispers, persistent but soft. I look around but I'm alone with my axe and the trees. Come… stay "Hello?" I call. The only answer is the airy whinnying sound of the trees. I look back and the tree is covered in blood-red sap. I turn and I'm surrounded by bleeding trees. I line up my axe again. Friend… I pull back the axe, and Tree Hugger appears. "Stop!" she cries, blood blossoming from her barrel. I start my swing. "No! Not again!" I shout Suddenly Tree Hugger is replaced by my mom, "It'll be alright, you'll see." The axe moves in slow motion, though I feel all my strength behind it. My dad is there now. "Fine! Go! I never want to see your ungrateful hide again!" The blade draws closer. "No, stop!" I yell, but I can't control my forelegs. The axe blade is about to hit his chest. Dad vanishes, and Sappy is there, looking at me with tearful eyes. "I love you, sis!" The impact shudders through my body. I bolt upright in bed, screaming, "No!" at the top of my lungs. Sweat-soaked sheets fall away and I gasp for air, panting. I still see Sap Wood in my mind and my body aches with the feeling of my axe striking home. I can't stop the tears. "Are you alright in there?" comes a voice from the speaker. I look, breath ragged, and see Nurse Sweetheart with an alarmed expression. I can't answer at first. After a minute I nod slowly. "Just a dream," I say, as much for my benefit as hers. "I'll be alright." She looks skeptical, but nods. "Okay, sugarcube. Drink some water. It'll help." I don't argue, sipping deeply from the cup on the nightstand. She leaves again. I lay there in the darkness, sleep far from my mind. Day 16 I wake to the smell of pancakes and strawberries. Blinking the sleep from my eyes I find a huge stack of pancakes on a plate next to me, decorated with strawberries and whipped cream in a big smiley face. I feel my stomach rumbling despite my exhaustion. The speaker crackles to life. "Good morning, sugarcube," Nurse Sweetheart says cheerfully, smiling at me through the observation window. "I thought you might be hungry. You've barely eaten anything in two days. I took the liberty of dressing it up a little." I pick up the knife and fork, cutting a generous bite. "Thank you," I say before popping it in my mouth. Chewing quickly, I swallow and add. "My mom used to make faces on pancakes for us." "It's my pleasure. Is there anything else you need before I let you eat?" she asks. My mind drifts back to my dreams while I chew. "There is one thing," I say slowly. "That mare I came in with, the one with the axe wound, what… What happened to her?" Sweetheart raises a brow. "I'm really sorry, sugarcube, but I can't say. It's against policy to discuss patient status with anyone other than their next of kin." I close my eyes, seeing Tree Hugger's limp and bloody body laying at my hooves. "Please," I beg, looking her in the eye. "I really need to know if she sur-- if she's alright." She looks into my eyes for a long moment. "You were involved in the accident, weren't you?" I nod quickly, jaw clenched tight. She looks back over her shoulder and sighs. "She's alive. Her condition is serious, as she lost a lot of blood and one of her lungs collapsed, but she's stable. She should make a full recovery." I start breathing again. "Thank you," I whisper. She smiles and nods towards my pancakes. "You're welcome. Now eat your breakfast before it gets cold." I just nod, already taking another bite. I wake up hours later, sweating and my heart racing. The sun shines bright through the window over my bed. I lay still, letting my breathing slow, as the whispers of my dream echo in my mind. Come… stay… "Are you up for a visitor, Heart?" Nurse Sweetheart says through the speaker. I frown, looking over. "Are they still here?" She shakes her head. "It's not your family. He says his name is Clear Cut." My eyes go wide. "Clear Cut's here? Uh, yes, I'll see him." I push myself up to sitting. She nods once and steps away. A moment later Clear Cut steps into view. He looks up at me almost reluctantly. "How are you doing, Heart Wood?" he asks, being unusually quiet. "Hey there, boss," I say. "I'm as good as can be, I guess. These spots are everywhere, though. They're even over my cutie mark." I turn on the bed, showing the orange blotches over the heart-shaped crosscut of a log on my flank. "What are you doing here, boss? I thought you'd still be at camp." He nods, barely looking. "We finished up early. Everypony wanted to get done fast, so we pushed through most of our breaks. The others wanted me to make sure you wanted to see them before they came over." I furrow my brow. "Of course. Why wouldn't I want to see them?" He shrugs. "Maybe we would remind you too much of what happened." I sigh. "You say that like it hasn't been on my mind constantly. I'd love to see all of them." I manage a smile. "I'm glad you came, too. I had a question for you." His eyes widen, "For me? What is it?" "Why do you treat me different than the rest of the crew?" I ask bluntly. "I don't know what you mean," he says, chewing on his lip. "Yes you do," I say. "From the first day you kept dressing me down for any close scrapes. Everypony else says you just let them get hurt to learn a lesson. So why am I different?" He looks me over. "I'm surprised you worked up the nerve to ask." "What have I got to lose now?" I say sardonically. He nods. "Alright. You remind me of somepony: my daughter." My eyes widen. "I didn't know you have a daughter, boss." "Had,' he says. The word hangs between us. Pieces of the story click into place in my mind. "Oh." He takes a deep breath. "I wasn't there when she died; I was out at a logging camp. I wasn't there to protect her." He looks at me again. "Then you show up, looking so much like her. I didn't want to make the same mistake." "I'm sorry that happened to you," I say, "but I ain't her, boss." I sigh, pushing down the heat rising in my gut. "I never asked you to protect me, and I don't need you to. All I wanted was a fair chance to prove myself." A coughing fit strikes me, and I wince at the sight of those damned bubbles. Clear Cut waits for the coughing to stop, shifting from one set of hooves to the other. "Even so, what happened to you was terrible, Heart. I wanted to say I'm--" "Don't. You. Dare!" I bite off the words to keep from yelling them, my tone dark and hostile. He stares back at me, mouth hanging open at the sound of my voice. "What?" I glare at him, heat flooding my chest and cheeks. "Don't you dare apologize to me. You didn't get me sick. You didn't make me hit that mare with an axe." My voice starts to waver as the words pour out. "You don't apologize for anything you say. I screwed up! I wasn't watching where I stepped. I didn't check my swing in time. What you're supposed to do is yell at me for screwing up so bad." The tears start flowing. I cough out more bubbles, but the words won't stop. "And you never use my name! I'm rookie and you're boss and I'm really scared right now cough and everypony keeps dancing around what's happening cough, cough and I need somepony to act the way they are supposed to cough so something makes sense!" I double over, coughing hard. I can't stop sobbing, causing more coughs with every breath. "Damnit, rookie, pay attention!" Clear Cut shouts through the speaker. I snap my head up, looking into his scowling face. I think I see tears on his cheek. "Didn't I warn you to watch out for those flowers?" he continues. "Don't you know to look where you're swinging that axe? You're lucky you didn't kill that mare on the spot!" He straightens up, looking stern as ever. "And don't get comfortable in there. I expect you back at camp by the end of the week, rookie. We have a quota to fill." I catch my breath as he rips into me. A soft smile grows on my lips. "Yes, boss," I answer. "What's with all the shouting?" I hear Nurse Sweetheart demanding, drawing closer. "This is a hospital! Our patients are trying to rest." Clear Cut nods. "I was just making sure this lazy rookie knew what I think of her." He flashes a smile at me for just a moment. The nurse looks between us, her brow furrowed. "I think Ms Heart Wood needs some rest now. You'll need to step out." She steps to one side of the hall, gesturing for him to walk ahead. "Boss!" I call out. He stops and looks back at me. "What is it, rookie?" I smile through the tears streaking my face. "Thank you." He nods, then walks away with Nurse Sweetheart close behind. Day 17 In my dream I see the bloody trees. They sway in the breeze like they are dancing, limbs waving me forward. Soft whispers tease at my ears. I see Tree Hugger on the ground at the base of a tree, axe in her barrel and her blood mixing with the sap. I approach her, seeming to drift over the ground. I look back at the branches moving above, flowers shaking free to float to the swamp below. When I look back at Tree Hugger I see a mare kneeling at her head, weeping. It's me. I watch as I rock back and forth, crying and saying, "I'm sorry," over and over. I blink and Tree Hugger is standing in front of the bloodwood tree again, forehooves spread wide. She shouts, "Stop! It's—" Swing. Chop. She falls to the ground. I watch myself kneeling and cradling her head. "I'm sorry!" She's back in front of the tree. "Stop! It's —" "Stop it!" I yell, trying to reach them but barely moving. "Don't —!" Swing. Chop. Tree Hugger dives in front of the tree once more. I watch my shoulders start to move. "Please stop!" I cry. My hooves feel rooted to the spot. Swing. Chop. I feel her blood spraying on my face. She falls, I watch myself cradling her head. "I'm sorry," I plead through tears She's back on the tree. I see my axe moving. "Stop it! Just stop it!" I scream, the scene just out of reach. Swing. Chop. I watch her drop again, blood and tears on my face. I watch myself kneeling and feel the dirt on my legs, the weight of her body. "I'm sorry," I hear myself weep. I reach out a hoof and touch my shoulder. The other me stops weeping. "Why did you do it?" she asks. "What did she ever do to you? You know what you are?" She turns suddenly. She's covered in blood from ear to hoof with empty holes where eyes should be. "You're a monster!" I stumble back away from her. I open my mouth but no scream will come. My rump hits something hard. I turn to find Clear Cut glaring down at me, my bloody axe in his hooves. "Stay right where you are, rookie!" he says, his voice low and deep, and raises the axe to strike. Eyes wide, I scramble to one side, looking between the two approaching horrors. I back up against one of the trees, the sap sticking hard to my coat. Suddenly the thick, blood-red sap starts flowing fast and thin, splashing over my eyes. I rub my eyes clear, feeling the warm sap running over my barrel and belly. With my eyes cleared I look for the monsters approaching, but they're gone. That airy whinnying sound fills my ears, and I look up. One of the blue and orange flowers falls from the tree, bursting into a cloud of pollen. Once it clears the whispers are now voices, soft and comforting. Join us. You are welcome here. A low droning noise fills the background. I walk among the trees and they part to either side, revealing a place for me to stand in the center of them. Stay with us. Be our friend. The droning sound grows louder. I stop in the middle of the trees, looking around at them all. I look down and see a thick tree trunk where my hooves were a moment ago. I feel my roots digging deep into the soil. Stay with us. Stay forever. The drone gets louder, with a rippling whinny like the trees being cut joining in. I look down and see bark growing over my barrel. I feel my flanks growing stiff. I gasp, pulling against my rooted hooves, unable to move at all. "No! I'm a pony! I don't belong here! I'm not a tree, I'm a pony!" I scream as the bark covers my face— I wake up with a shout, sitting upright and sending the sweat-soaked sheets tumbling. Somehow the drone and whinny sound from my dream remains as I slowly catch my breath and slow my racing heart. I look to the bedside and nearly jump out of the bed with a shout. There beside the bed is a light green earth pony mare, her red mane tied in loose locks, sitting in a wheelchair with her eyes closed. She's holding her forehooves out to either side, making the drone-and-whinny noise softly with each steady breath. I see bandages wrapped tight around her barrel, and an IV bag hanging from the top of her chair. "Ahh, hello?" I say, and she opens her eyes immediately, a sedate smile coming to her lips. She presses her forehooves together, bowing her head slightly. "Blessings. I'm so glad you woke up while I was surrounding you with positive vibrations. I hope your sleep was healing and restful." I stare at her for a long moment. "You were at the logging site. The one looking for protected animals." The fog of my dream clears and my eyes go wide. "You were—" "The pony you hit with your axe, yes," she says dreamily. I quickly look around the darkened room, my heartbeat roaring back to its speed from after I woke up. The walls all look solid, and the only light shines over my visitor from the open door. "Are you really here?" I ask cautiously. Her smile grows as she shrugs. "Are, like, any of us really here?" I stare at her, my brow furrowed. When she doesn't clarify I sigh and rub the sides of my head. "Look, if this is still my nightmare can we just get on with it so I can wake up?" She shakes her head slowly, her smile still soft. "Oh, no worries. You're as awake as I am. I'm Tree Hugger, and I'm pleased to meet you." Looking her way I sigh, drawing a few bubble-laden coughs. "I'm Heart Wood," I say once I get control. "Are you sure you should be in here? They tell me what I've got is pretty contagious." Tree Hugger nods. "Heart Wood. Righteous. That is so in line with your aura. At least when I saw it in the swamp." She looks at me again, her eyes becoming unfocused. "Now it's all mixed up. That's why I came in here. I could feel the negative energy from my room." "I don't have any idea what you're talking about," I say. My eyes drift down to the bandages wrapped around her body. My throat gets tight. "I, um, hear you're going to be alright. I'm really happy to hear that." She refocuses her gaze, looking down at the dressing. "Oh, thank you for saying that. It's an experience I've never had before." She looks up at me again. "They are giving me something to keep it from hurting. That's a new experience for me, too." I nod slowly, not meeting her eyes. I open my mouth to say something when I feel a sneeze coming on. Turning away from her, I sneeze and a tiny bolt of lightning shoots from my lips and singes the window. My eyes shoot wide open and I clap a hoof over my muzzle. "Righteous," Tree Hugger says, sounding impressed. My mind races, eyes darting around the room for more evidence of this being a nightmare. The room and my visitor persist in remaining solid. A piece of conversation comes to mind and I sigh, sitting on the edge of the bed. "So that's what he meant by shock sneezes," I mutter. Tree Hugger smiles at me again. "So you're having new experiences, too. The universe brings so many lessons." I scoff. "I really wish the universe wasn't bringing me so many. What am I supposed to learn when I'm…" I swallow back the tightness in my throat, finishing quietly, "I'm going to die." She shakes her head. "It's all the same, Heart Wood. Life and death are just different journeys we all take. We're all part of the same energy connecting everything." Tears flow as I shake my head. "How can you say that? If I had swung a little harder, if Plum was a little slower getting you here, you would be dead!" I cough some more, bubbles drifting away, and sob. "And it's my fault." Tree Hugger watches me for a moment. "It wasn't your fault," she says simply. "Yes it was!" I insist. "I swung the axe. I stumbled into the flower. You're hurt because of me. I'm dying because of me!" That gentle, infuriating smile returns to her lips. "It wasn't your fault." "Stop saying that!" I shout. "I did all of this. I'm responsible. I'm a monster!" More coughing and tears overtake me and I double over. After a minute I feel a hoof under my chin, lifting my head to see Tree Hugger's gentle expression. "I forgive you, Heart Wood. It wasn't your fault." I gasp and pull away. "Why did you do that? I told you I'm contagious! I can't let you catch this disease." She nods again. "It was worth the risk. You needed the comfort, and you needed to know I forgive you for what happened. Now all you need is to forgive yourself." I shake my head quickly, despite feeling like a load of lumber is falling off my back. "I'm not worth risking your life. Swamp fever is fatal! I'm going to die from this, and I can't let you die from it too!" Tree Hugger raises a brow. "You aren't going to die from it, Heart Wood." Before I can object, Nurse Sweetheart rushes in the open door. "What's happening in here?" She gasps and a moment later she's pushing Tree Hugger's wheelchair out the door with her magic. "Ms Tree Hugger! This is an isolation room. You can't be in here." She looks back at me. "I'm sorry she bothered you, sugarcube. Pain medications can make a pony do strange things. Do you need anything?" I watch as Tree Hugger rolls out, seeing her smiling back at me. I shake my head at the question. "I'm fine," I lie. She nods and steps back in the hall. "Alright. Try to get back to sleep." The door glows and swings shut again. I lay back on the bed, listening as they move away until only silence surrounds me. "What did she mean?" I wonder aloud, then sigh and close my eyes again. > 4. Branching Out > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- I wake up in the late morning feeling more rested than I have in days. Mercifully, my sleep was dreamless after Tree Hugger's visit. I look to the nightstand and find a bowl of blueberries next to a tall glass of apple juice. I smile and press the call button before diving into the berries. A few minutes later Nurse Sweetheart appears at the window. "Good morning. How are you feeling?" I wash down a mouthful of berries with the juice. "I feel so much better now. I haven't slept like that in awhile. I'm guessing I have you to thank for breakfast." She smiles broadly. "I'm glad to hear it, sugarcube. That was the most peaceful sleep I've seen you have, so I didn't wake you for eggs and toast. I didn't want you to go hungry, though. If you want something hot, I'm sure the kitchen can put a plate together." I shake my head. "These are delicious! It should be plenty until lunch." I pop another berry in my mouth. "If I'd known the kitchen had berries like this, I would have asked for them sooner." Sweetheart laughs softly. "Those aren't from the kitchen. They almost never have fresh fruit. I slipped out to the market while you were sleeping." I stop chewing, staring back at her. "You bought these yourself?" At her nod another thought occurs. "And the strawberries the other day?" She nods again. "As well as the whipped cream. They try to make the food healthy and tasty here, but it can be a little on the bland side." "You really didn't have to do that," I say. "I'd be happy with the normal food here. You didn't have to spend your own bits." Sweetheart smiles. "I wanted to do it, sugarcube. It's a little way to brighten your day, and you needed some brightening." I look down into the bowl, chewing over the idea. "I don't know if I'm comfortable with that. I'm just a patient. I never met you before I came here, and you're doing so much more for me than your job requires." She nods. "You're my patient, and I take that seriously. I may have only met you a few days ago, but that doesn't matter. As long as you're in my care, I will treat you with all the kindness I can offer." "But what if…" I can't look up at her. Quietly I finish, "What if I don't deserve it?" She's quiet for a moment. I can feel her gaze. "Heart Wood," she says gently. "Look at me, sugarcube." I reluctantly raise my head, seeing her soft smile. "Everypony deserves kindness. Even ourselves. I want you to try and believe that, alright?" I bite back tears. Her words draw me in, but my fears remain. "I'll try," I promise. Sweetheart nods once. "Good. Now finish your breakfast before the lunch tray arrives." She winks. "I hope you like apples. Some of the best in Equestria are grown right here in Ponyville. I'll make sure you have a few with lunch." She turns to leave. "Nurse!" I call. She looks back again. I manage a little smile. "Thank you." Her smile beams. "It's my pleasure, Heart." I'm sitting on the edge of the bed, eyes closed and trying to hold back the sneeze I feel coming on. I take a deep breath, holding it. It doesn't work and the lightning singes the door. I sigh, shaking my head. The bed suddenly feels too constricting. I stand and take a few steps. The window seems to start spinning in my view. Seconds later I'm laying on the floor. "Heart Wood! Are you alright?" Nurse Sweetheart calls through the speaker. I look up and she's watching me with wide eyes. I nod. "I just got a little dizzy. I'll be fine." I try to stand but my legs wobble and my head spins again. I fall back to my side. "Or I might stay here for a while. I'm comfy." "I've got you," she says. A blue glow surrounds me and I float to the bed. "Are you hurt, sugarcube? Twist a hoof?" "Only my pride," I say. "I got tired of laying in bed and tried to walk around the room a bit." Sweetheart raises a brow, nodding. "Well, now we know not to do that, don't we?" She floats the sheet up over my legs. "I was just here to see if you were up to seeing visitors. I'll tell them to come back later." I lift my head despite the dizzy sensation. "No, wait. I really want some company." I smile at her. "Please? I promise I'll stay in bed." "Alright, as long as you stay lying down. If you need anything, hit the button." She walks away. A few minutes later there's the sound of approaching hooves. As they step into view my smile grows wide. "Buzz! Plum!" One by one the entire crew appears. Every one of them is clutching flowers or cards. "I'm so happy to see you all." I cough, sending a spray of bubbles into the room. I hear a few murmurs before Buzzcut steps to the speaker. "Hey there, Heart. We all wanted to come see how you're doing. You're, ah, looking good." I laugh. "I'm too dizzy to stand, covered in orange spots, and coughing bubbles. I look like a mess and I know it." He blushes at the admonishment, reaching up and rubbing the back of his neck. "I just wanted to make you feel better." I smile softly. "Yeah, well don't. It helps a lot more to face what's happening. I want all of you to just talk to me like you did on the job. If you want to say something about this disease, just say it." Plum Blossom is the first to answer. "You got it, Heart. So, did you ask Clear Cut yet?" She grins, and a chuckle rises from the rest of the ponies. I can't help but laugh. "Actually, I did. He told me why, too. We're good." I raise a brow. "Where is the boss, anyway?" Log Jam smirks. "The nurse wouldn't let him in. Something about disturbing the patients." A grin spreads over my lips. "Ah, yeah. You know how the boss is with me. I'll see if the nurse will change her mind if he promises to keep it down to a rumble." Another ripple of laughter passes through the group. "I hear you brought in the rest of the orders early," I say. "And you did it short-hooved. That's going to be nice bonus." Aspen nods. "That's always good, but, um, we really wanted to get in to see you before the end." "Before I die," I say softly, smiling at the rash of uncomfortable expressions among them. "It means a lot to me that you did. It makes me feel like a real part of the crew." "You always were," Buzzcut says, wiping his cheek. Aspen puts a hoof around him. Plum Blossom speaks up before the tears can spread to more of the group. "You might like to know, that was our last bloodwood harvest. The boss said Top Timber is taking it off the sales sheets." Log Jam nods, adding, "It's going to cost him, too. Bloodwood sells for a big markup. He said it's not worth the risk anymore." I raise a brow, nodding. "Wow, that's a big step to take." A thought strikes me and I chuckle. "I guess that means none of you will be cutting me down once I'm a tree." There's stunned silence from the other side of the glass. They all stare at me, mouths hanging open. Then a snicker starts at the back of the group. Strong Hoof throws her head back, laughing loudly. Everypony stares at her until she catches her breath. "What? It's funny," she says. I laugh at that, shaking my head. "You all need to work on your sense of humor." I hear a soft, airy whisper just behind my laughter. Buzzcut looks between Strong Hoof and I in disbelief. "I don't know how you can laugh about that." I smile at him. "Because if I don't laugh about it I'll start crying," I say gently, "and I cough more when I do that." I feel my nose tingle and turn my head just in time for the two sneezes to send their tiny lightning bolts into the wall instead of the window. "Besides, how can you not laugh at a disease that does that?" Aspen steps into the silence that follows before it grows uncomfortable. "So, Heart, I hear the food in these places rivals camp food for how bad it is. Any truth to that?" Stay with us... I furrow my brow, looking at Aspen. "What was that last part you said?" He smirks. "I asked if it's true how bad the food is." I shake my head quickly, returning focus to Aspen. "Ah, no, they're making sure I get the good stuff. I do miss your haycakes, though. They're the best I've ever had." You are welcome… I sigh, looking for who's speaking. "Sorry, what was that?" They look at each other with confused frowns. Buzzcut clears his throat. "Um, nopony said anything, Heart." It's my turn to look confused. "I could swear I heard you." I lay my head back. "Nevermind. Aspen, yeah, I actually had some of the juiciest, best-tasting apples I've ever had with lunch." Hours later, after they've gone, I lay in bed reading over the cards they brought. My smile won't fade as I look from heartfelt ones to raunchy funny ones, and one from Plum Blossom that manages to do both. The sweet scent of marigolds and roses fills the room from the bouquets they bought, laying on the nightstand. "I can bring a vase to put those in," Nurse Sweetheart says brightly. "The flowers will last longer in water." I look at them there. "If you want to, I suppose," I answer with a shrug. I turn my smile to her and add, "They'll likely last longer than I will, anyway." She smiles back, letting the comment pass. "Somepony is in a good mood. You were right about seeing your friends. This is the most you've smiled since you got here." She winks. "It looks good on you." My mind drifts back to the short time I've known them. "My friends. I've barely known them two weeks, but yeah, I guess they are." "It's not how long you know a pony. It's how far you let them in." Sweetheart looks down for a moment. "Speaking of which, another arrangement came in for you. I wanted to make sure it's ok to bring it in." I raise a brow. "Why wouldn't it be? Who's it from?" "Your parents," she says softly. My smile fades under the thought of our last conversation. I glance at the cards and flowers, trying to regain the joy of the crew's visit. I sigh. "Will you keep them in water for me, please? I don't know if I can look at them right now." Sweetheart tilts her head, her expression bittersweet. "You really should consider forgiving them, Heart. It will take a lot of weight off your spirit." I shake my head slowly. "I can't. Not yet. I'm trying to, but I'm not there yet." I show her a small smile. "I'll get there." She nods once. "Alright, sugarcube. I'll bring a vase for the ones you have." She turns away. Stay forever… My eyes open wide. "What did you say?" I ask loudly before she gets out of earshot. Nurse Sweetheart stops, raising a brow. "I said I'll bring a vase." I nod quickly, taking a new interest in the cards. "Oh, right. That's what I thought you said." She looks at me for a moment, frowning slightly. "Is something on your mind, sugarcube?" I shake my head. "Nothing, really. I was just trying to remember the symptoms of swamp fever, is all." Her look remains skeptical, but she answers. "Well, I know you know the mottled coat, dizziness, bubble coughing, and the shock sneezes. That just leaves confusion, and I doubt you could forget the final stage." I smile and nod quickly. "Yes, confusion, that was it. I just forgot that one." "Are you sure?" she asks. "It's not a checklist. If you're feeling confused, there's no shame in it." I laugh, even though it sounds forced to me. "Not at all," I lie. "I'm fine. It's just been a busy day." Nurse Sweetheart watches me for a minute. "Alright," she says. "I'll get that vase for your flowers." With that she walks away. I wait until I can't hear her hoofsteps anymore, then let out a held breath. "She didn't say anything about hearing voices," I mutter. "What else is wrong with me?" Day 18 I'm at the logging camp, sitting in the mess tent with the crew. The scent of haycakes fills the air along with their laughter. I smile so wide my cheeks hurt, listening to their stories. I look at each of their faces. They smile back at me, filling my heart with warmth. "Buzz," I say, turning back to him. "Tell us the flash bee story." Buzzcut is gone. I blink, turning back to the others. "Anypony see Buzz leave?" The tent is empty and dark. The smell of food and wood fire are gone, along with the plates of haycakes. Come. Join us. The voices seem distant. I move over to the tent flap. "Hello?" I call, "Where is everypony?" stepping out of the tent as I do. I'm in my family home. The twins are laughing, teasing each other mercilessly. Willow Leaf reads a book on tree species while Sap Wood hoof-paints on a large paper. "Willow? Did you see anypony come through here?" I ask. Willow turns her book towards me. An illustration of a bloodwood tree fills one page, and a detailed drawing of the flower the next. "Ever hear of whinnywood, Heart?" she asks eagerly. "It says here it's magical, and it's also called bloodwood. The red sap leaves the wood a bright pink! Wouldn't that make a beautiful bed?" Before I can answer, Sap Wood calls to me. "Heart! Heart! Come see what I made you!" I walk over to him, smiling at the colorful paper. "What do you have there, Sappy?" I ask with a wink. "Don't call me that!" he says with a pout. It doesn't last as he turns the paper around. There's a huge heart shape surrounding a large tree with blue and orange flowers. Another heart shape graces the side of the trunk. "See? It's you as a tree!" he says proudly. "I made the flowers blue and orange because they're yours and my favorite colors. I love you, Heart!" I stare at the picture for a long time. "Willow?" I ask over my shoulder. "Did you show Sap your book?" I look back to her chair. Willow and the twins are gone. "Willow?" I call, "Where did you go?" I see the book on the chair, still open to the bloodwood trees. I turn back asking, "Sappy, did you see where Willow and your brothers went?" I swear I see his sad eyes for an instant, but Sap Wood isn't there anymore, either. His painting flutters to the floor. You are welcome with us, new friend. I run back to the kitchen, shouting, "Mom! Dad! I can't find Sappy!" I push through the door. I stumble into Dad's office. He and Mom stand there, staring at me. "We just don't understand why you want to leave your family, Heart," Mom says sadly. "Don't you realize how hard Sap Wood will take it?" "Didn't you hear me, Mom?" I say quickly. "Sap Wood is missing! He was right next to me and he just vanished." "Fine!" my dad shouts, slamming his hoof on the desk. I jump and turn towards him. "If you're going to abandon your family," he continues, "then I don't want to see your ungrateful hide again!" I take a step back, mouth open in shock. "Dad, what's wrong with you? Mom, Sappy's in trouble!" I turn to her. She's not there anymore. I look and Dad is gone, too. The room sits empty and dark. I turn to leave, and I'm standing in the swamp. Flowers cover the water, floating on lily pads. The trees surround me on all sides. The blood-red sap flows fast and thin over the trunks. The voices sound clear and strong all around me. Stay with us. Stay with your family. I turn in a circle, looking at the trees. Faces form in the bark. Buzzcut, Plum, Clear Cut, Willow, the twins, Mom, Dad… Sap Wood. You are welcome here. We are your family. This is home. I fall to my knees, staring at Sappy's face in the tree. "Why?!" I yell at the surrounding trees. "Why them? Isn't my death enough?" "Death?" asks a serene voice behind me. I turn around and find Tree Hugger there, sitting in her wheelchair. Points of light glow in a line from her head down the center of her body. "This isn't going to kill you, Heart Wood." I feel soft dirt around my hooves. I look down, seeing bark forming over my hind legs, rapidly spreading up my body. There's no pain and I watch it grow up my barrel. As it reaches my neck fear overwhelms me. My head won't move. The bark covers my eyes and I open my mouth to scream… "No!" I bolt upright in bed, panting and sweaty. Slowly my breathing comes under control again, and I hold my hoof against my forehead. "Heart Wood! What's wrong?" I hear Nurse Sweetheart ask, breathing hard like she was running. Blue light shines over me. I look at the window where she watches me with wide eyes by the light of her horn. I take a steadying breath. "It was another dream," I say. "I just need to catch my breath." She gives a relieved sigh. "I was hoping you were over those dreams. Do you want to talk about it, sugarcube?" I shake my head. "No. No, I really don't." Sweetheart nods. "Well then, try to get some rest. Breakfast will be ready in a few hours. Is there anything you need before then?" "Not before breakfast, no," I say, seeing the end of the nightmare behind my eyes. "I would like to ask a favor later in the day, though." "Anything, Heart," she says. "If she's willing and won't hurt herself doing it," I say, "I would really like for Tree Hugger to visit again." She raises her brow, looking me over for a moment. "Alright, I'll ask her if she wants to come. No guarantees." I smile. "None needed. Thank you." Sweetheart smiles back. "You're welcome. Now try to rest." Her horn light goes out and she closes the privacy curtain. I'm left in the dark as she walks away. It's after lunch and I lay in bed with my eyes closed and a foreleg draped over them to shut out the light. I keep my breathing shallow, as every time I take a deep breath I either cough or sneeze. I still smell the flowers at the bedside. Come… stay with us… be our friend… The voices seem so clear, like dozens of ponies whispering right behind me. Every quiet moment brings another plea. Be our family… stay forever… "Shut up. Shut up. Shut up!" I hiss through my teeth. "Heart Wood?" Nurse Sweetheart's voice breaks through, full of concern. "Are you awake?" I lower my foreleg, lifting my head and looking at the window. I get a pair of sneezes for my trouble, scorching the floor. "I'm awake. Just trying not to cough." She nods, not quite getting back to her smile. "I know those bother you a lot. It's good if you can keep them to a minimum." "I couldn't agree more," I say. "Are you feeling up for a visitor? She wanted to see you as much as you wanted to see her." I nod quickly. "Yes, please. I'm feeling well enough." Sweetheart nods and steps away. A few minutes later she returns wheeling Tree Hugger up to the window. "Now I want you to take it easy. Both of you need rest. And you," she adds, turning to Tree Hugger, "need to stay out of Heart Wood's room. You're very lucky you didn't catch what she has." Tree Hugger smiles at her. "It's all good. I'll stay here, Nurse." "I'll call for you if anything happens to either of us," I promise. "I'd like to catch up with Tree Hugger in private, or as close as we can talking through the speaker." She looks between us both and nods. "Anything at all, hit that button." At my nod she turns and walks away. "Blessings," Tree Hugger says toward Nurse Sweetheart as she departs, then turns her attention to me again. "It's so good to see you again, Heart Wood. I'm feeling less negative energy from you." I manage a smile. "Ah, thanks. It's good to see you, too. You seem a little less… spacey today." Her expression remains gentle and serene. "Oh, thank you. I'm healing so they are giving me less medicine for the pain. I can focus a lot more than the other night." "It's funny you mention the other night," I say, rubbing the back of my neck. "I wanted to ask you about some of the things you said then." She nods. "I'm happy to talk more with you." I sigh in relief. "Good. I kinda can't stop thinking about it. Some of it is showing up in my dreams. I guess the biggest question I have is what did you mean when you said this wouldn't kill me?" "Oh, wow…" She looks up, pursing her lips. "Did I say that?" "Yes, you did," I insist. "Just before the nurse pulled you out of the room. I said I was going to die from the swamp fever, and you said it wouldn't kill me." She nods slowly. "I was, like, on a lot of medicine that night. I don't remember much of what happened." I sink back against the pillow, closing my eyes. Coughing a little, I rub my forehead. "Then maybe it's just the confusion they told me about, and you didn't really say it." "It's entirely possible I said it," Tree Hugger says, sounding reassuring. "I just don't remember doing it." I frown and look back at her. "It doesn't matter, though. If you don't remember saying it then I'll never know why you said it." "Oh, I can tell you why I would say it," she says brightly. I stare at her for a minute with my mouth hanging open. "Then why didn't you say that?" I finally ask. Her smile remains serene. "I, like, just did." I take a deep breath to stop myself from saying something harsh. I get a coughing fit for my trouble. "Alright," I say when I can speak again. "Why would you say the swamp fever won't kill me?" Tree Hugger leans forward in her wheelchair, resting a hoof on the glass. "For the same reason I told you that I jumped in front of your axe. The trees are alive." "Of course they're alive," I say, my frustration seeping into my voice. "They're trees! All plants are alive." She shakes her head. "Not alive like that. I mean they have a bright, living aura. Not like the aura of other plants." I stare for a moment. "An aura?" I ask incredulously. "You risked your life for an aura?" "Of course," she says easily. "I would do the same for any pony. Every living creature is perfect and beautiful, and they shouldn't be harmed." "But they were just trees!" I shout, then glance in the direction where Nurse Sweetheart left. I lower my voice. "It's not the same as saving some animal or saving a pony." Her smile remains infuriatingly calm. "That's what I was saying. The trees' auras were living pony auras. That's where the whinnying comes from when they are hurt." My mind doesn't wrap around the idea. "That makes no sense. The pollen infects the pony, and they get sick for ten days, then they…" The other horseshoe drops. "They turn into the tree," I finish in a whisper. Tree Hugger nods slowly. "That's how they continue to live." My heart races, thoughts jumbling over each other. "No… they can't be alive. I… I just assumed… that it was like a seed. That I would die and the tree would… I don't know, sprout out of me. How can I live though that?" "You'll live on longer than any pony," she says, her tone comforting. She cocks her head then adds, "Except maybe for Princess Celestia." Join us. Stay with us. Stay forever. I squeeze my eyes shut. "Why do I keep hearing voices, then?" Tree Hugger sounds surprised when she answers, "Voices? Groovy." I open my eyes and she's peering at me with an unfocused gaze. "Your aura is still in turmoil, Heart Wood. I see something touching you from far away, something bright and so alive." She focuses on me again. "I think they are calling to you." "Who?" I ask urgently. "Who is calling to me?" Tree Hugger gives me her gentle, serene smile. "The trees." > 5. Putting Down Roots > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Day 19 I lay in the dark, staring at the ceiling. My thoughts won't stop churning over in my mind and sleep feels far away. I don't even turn my head to cough, and the inevitable sneezes flash in the gloom before leaving a charred mark above me. Come home to us. Stay with your family. The voices follow me no matter what I do. Whenever I start to feel relaxed enough to sleep they return, calling me back. "The trees," I muse, remembering Tree Hugger's visit. "There's no way it could be the trees. They are in the swamp at the edge of the Everfree. I couldn't hear them so far away." Join us. You are part of us. Come home. I grind my teeth together. "Just shut up! I need sleep." Join us now. We want you with us. You'll never be alone. "Leave me alone! I'm staying here!" I insist loudly. "Heart Wood?" comes the familiar voice through the speaker. I look over and see Nurse Sweetheart watching me with a concerned expression. "I came to see if you got to sleep yet. I can go if you want to be left alone." My cheeks feel warm as I realize she heard me. "No, that's alright. I, um, guess I was talking to myself." I force a smile. "I have a lot on my mind. It's making it hard to sleep." She puts on her comforting smile, nodding. "I can imagine why. Would you like to talk about it? It might help." Stay with us. You will know peace here. I do my best to ignore the voices in my ear. "Actually, I think I would. I just don't know where to start." For the first time since arriving I see Sweetheart sit down, right on the floor in front of the window. "Maybe start with what's keeping you awake tonight," she says. "Even with the nightmares you've gotten some sleep on every other night. What's on your mind now?" Come home. Join us here. "I've been thinking about that last symptom, confusion. How would I know if I have it?" I shrug, smiling. "If I'm confused, everything might seem normal to me." She chuckles, nodding. "That's a possibility. In that case we would depend on our observations to tell. It is a pretty broad symptom, so it covers a lot of behaviors: forgetting things, changing your mind a lot, odd actions, things like that." You are welcome here with us. I shut my eyes, quietly willing them to stop. I turn my next question over in my mind, then breathe out. "And what about… hearing things? Things that aren't there?" She tilts her head, mulling it over. "I suppose it could be considered confusion," she says. "Usually we call that an auditory hallucination, though." "Either way that doesn't sound like something good to have happen," I mutter. Sweetheart looks me over for a moment. "Heart, I want you to know I've become very fond of you. I care about all my patients, but you are a genuinely good pony. You don't deserve any of what's happening to you." I open my mouth to answer, but no words come. Tears well up in the corners of my eyes. "Thank you," I finally manage. "You've been so nice to me." "I want to ask as someone who cares about you," she begins, slowly, as if she's trying not to frighten me. "Are you hearing something that isn't there?" Come to us. We love you. Come home. I take a deep breath, holding it, then nod quickly. "It's alright, Heart. Knowing that will let me care for you better." She smiles softly. "How long have you been hearing it?" "They started in my dreams," I say. "Just whispers in my nightmares. Then the voices became clear. And then… I started hearing them when I was awake." Sweetheart takes that in, nodding slowly, not a speck of judgment showing in her features. "When did you start hearing them outside your dreams?" "When my friends were here," I admit. "I thought I was just missing what somepony said." "That's about when I figured," she says. I lift my head. "You knew?" Sweetheart smiles and shakes her head. "I suspected something was going on. You really aren't very good at hiding things." I feel my cheeks getting warm. "I guess I have my parents to thank for that. They always taught us to be honest." She nods once. "Do you hear them now?" I nod, closing my eyes. "Almost all the time now." "Are you comfortable telling me what the voices say?" she asks gently. Join us. Come to your family. Stay here forever. "No point hiding it," I say with a smirk. "They are calling to me. They want me to come to them; to stay with them. They promise joy and belonging. They say I'm one of them." "One of who?" she asks. I open my eyes again, looking into hers. "The trees. It's the bloodwood trees." She doesn't answer right away. "I'm going to keep this in confidence, Heart, between friends." She stands again. "You should get some sleep if you can. With your nightmares the doctor prescribed a mild sedative, as needed. If you want it, I'll bring it in." Join us. Join your family. I sigh, and nod. "That might be best." I drift through the forest, following the call of the trees towards a distant light. My hooves barely touch the rich soil. A faint ribbon of light winds around the dense underbrush, leading me ever forward. Come home to us, Heart. I glance to one side and see the logging camp. The crew all smile at me as I pass. I try to go to them, but I just keep moving past. "Time to head home, rookie," Clear Cut says. "Your family needs you," adds Buzzcut. "Make them proud," Plum urges. They are gone, the forest closing up around them. Don't wait, Heart. Come home. I see my family home. Everyone stands on the porch. They smile brightly. "We knew you'd go far," my Mom says. "I'm so proud of you, Heart," Dad says. "I love you so much, Heart," Sappy gushes. I try to turn. "No," I whisper, unable to speak louder. "I want to stay here. I want to stay with my family." We are your family, Heart. Come home. "No!" I shout. They all disappear behind me. "I'm dreaming," I mutter. "Why can't I wake up?" I hear howls all around me. Timberwolves pace along beside me. Part of me knows I should run, but I keep moving forward. Somehow I'm not afraid, and the timberwolves walk easily as if escorting me to my destination. The forest parts and I see the trees. They part to either side, opening a path. The timberwolves stand along both sides of the path, sending up a howl as I pass. Soon I'm in the center of the stand. My hooves settle to the dark, rich soil. I look all around, seeing a face in the bark of each tree, framed with dripping, blood-red sap. None of them look familiar. Welcome home, Heart Wood. We are your family now. I press my eyes shut. "Wake up now," I whisper to myself. "Wake up. Wake up!" I feel my hooves sinking deeper. I look and see roots stretching into the soil. I pull a hoof up and it's covered in dripping blood. The soil is saturated with it. I put my hoof down again and it sticks deep into the ground. "Wake up now," I say urgently. Bark spreads quickly over my legs, my flanks, my barrel. "Wake up!" Join us, Heart Wood. I can't move. Bark flows up around my neck and head. "No!" I scream, but it doesn't stop. I'm completely covered. I feel branches growing, roots spreading, leaves and flowers sprouting. In moments the transformation completes. I scream inside my wooden body as the trees begin to sing. I'm just finishing my lunch, including the sweet pears added on the side, when Nurse Sweetheart returns. "Somepony was hungry," she says brightly. I nod, wiping the pear juice from my lips. "Sleeping through breakfast does that, I guess. It all tastes so good." She grins. "I'm glad you liked the pears, too." After a look down the hall she adds, "Did a good sleep help with your other issue?" You belong here. Come home. I take a breath and shake my head. "Not in my dreams or when I'm awake. The only difference with the pills was that I couldn't wake up when the nightmares got bad." "I'm sorry," she says, the grin fading. "I hoped they would keep the dreams away. They are only as-needed, so if you want to skip them it's no problem." I shrug. "I did wake up feeling rested, so we'll see. I don't know if not sleeping at all is better." Sweetheart nods once. "Just let me know," she says. Her horn glows and she floats the dirty tray to the door. "Is there anything else you need right now, sugarcube?" I hesitate, chewing over a thought. "Actually yes," I say slowly, then look over at her. "Would you bring in the flowers my parents sent, please?" She raises a brow. "Are you certain, Heart?" "Yes," I say, nodding, my chest feeling tight. "I'm ready." "Alright," she answers with a smile. "I think you're making the right choice. I'll be back in a few minutes." As she walks away I lay my head back, staring at the ceiling. My heartbeat feels like I'm running full gallop. The voices return but I ignore them, my mind full of the last few conversations with my parents. I try to steady myself with a deep breath and instead get a coughing fit. Nurse Sweetheart returns as I get control of myself, swatting at the bubbles floating around my head. "I'm sorry these are leaving the break room," she says and takes a sniff of the bouquet. "They smell so good." The door opens and she floats the vase to my nightstand. I look up at the arrangement and gasp, raising a hoof to my mouth. "I've never seen that small blue flower before, but it smells so delightful," she says as the vase comes to rest and the door closes. "Do you know what it is?" Tears well up in my eyes. I can't look away from the varied blooms. A sob catches in my throat. "That's rosemary. It's for remembrance." Sweetheart raises a brow. "Are you alright, Heart? Do you want me to take them away?" I can only shake my head, tears flowing. She watches for a moment, then asks gently, "What do you mean about rosemary?" I sniff back my tears, getting a deep whiff of the flowers' fragrance. "My mother arranged these," I say quietly. "It's been her hobby all my life. She would tell me that every flower, every color, has a meaning, and every arrangement tells a story." I can't hold back more coughs. Sweetheart waits patiently. "What story does this arrangement tell you, sugarcube?" she asks when I get control again. I point to a long cluster of tiny blue flowers. "Blue hydrangea is a heartfelt apology. Pink tulips declare love, red carnations mean love and pride, and the rosemary is remembrance." I move my hoof along the arrangement, voice cracking as I put it together. "We are so sorry. We love you, we're proud of you," I sob, "and we'll always remember you." Tears win out and I sit there, looking at the flowers and weeping. After a few minutes Sweetheart clears her throat and I turn towards her, having forgotten she was still there. I see her wiping at her cheeks. "What can I do for you, Heart?" she asks. "I'm here for whatever you need." I look at the arrangement again. "I think I need to be alone for a while." She nods slowly. "Of course. If you want anything, even just a friendly ear, ring for me." With a lingering look at the flowers, she closes the curtain over the window and walks away. I sit there for a long time, crying and thinking about my mom and dad. I'm only interrupted by the occasional cough or sneeze. The voices are mercifully silent. I look over the arrangement again and spot something tucked low behind the leaves. I reach in and pull out a small envelope with my cutie mark drawn on the outside. My hooves shake as I stare at it. Finally I open it and unfold the letter inside. Heart Wood, I've tried to start this letter six times. There's so much to say, but all of it seems hollow except for this: we love you, Heart. We always have, and always will. If you don't believe anything else I say, please believe that. Your father and I only want the best for you. We just let our pride get in the way instead of listening to you about what that was. We thought that, of your brothers and sister, you would be the one to take over the family business someday. I saw your drive and ambition, and I knew you would go far. I should have encouraged you to chase your dreams instead of trying to choose them for you. It was the same with our visit. I thought I knew best what you needed, and I ignored what the rest of the family needed. I should have listened to you, but instead I hurt you when you most needed us. I am so ashamed. Not only that our arrogance drove you away, but that doing so put you in harm's way. I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive us before the end. I love you so much. I will never forget you. Mom I lower the letter after reading it for the third time. Tears flow freely down my cheeks. I clutch the letter to my chest, close my eyes, and cry. Day 20 I'm in the forest again. Trees sway in the warm breeze as I follow the logging trail. The sun lowers towards the horizon, leaving me in deep shadow. Darkness falls but I keep walking, the trail between the trees clear under the moonlight. Crickets chirp and leaves rustle. Far ahead I see a soft glow through the trees. Heart Wood, where are you? I look around then see them far off by the glow: my parents. I see them clearly even though they appear so far away. We're waiting for you. Come join your family. I start running. "I'm coming!" I call out. Somehow every step takes them further away. I see my sister and brothers now, waving me onward. We miss you, Heart. Come to us. I'm at a full gallop now, panting with the effort. "Stay there! I'm almost to you." I finally seem to get closer. They are waiting with open hooves. They disappear. I hear them calling to me off to the woods to the right. I dive in between the trees, following the sound of their voices. "Mom! Dad! Sappy! I'm coming!" Come home, Heart Wood. Come home. I catch glimpses of them among the trees. Flashes of their faces appear all around. I run after them, frantic to reach my family. I barrel into a clearing, my family nowhere to be seen. Skidding to a stop I see the glow coming from the center of the glade. "Mom! Dad!" I shout. "Where are you?" We're right here. They are all standing in the light, holding out their hooves. Come to us, Heart. We're so happy you're here. I step forward into the light and their embrace. Love washes through me, warm and radiant, as I nuzzle against them. "I never want to let go," I whisper. They all step back as one, smiling at me. I try to follow but my hooves won't move. I look down and see bark growing up along my legs. "Wait!" I cry. "I want to go with you. Don't leave me here!" We aren't leaving. You've come home. Where my family stood is a circle of bloodwood trees, swaying in the wind. I can feel my roots burrowing down into the ground, entwining themselves with the roots of the surrounding trees. The bark spreads over my flanks. We are here with you. We will hold you and keep you safe. I watch the bark spreading and my flesh growing wooden. "Why am I not afraid?" I wonder. Only the peaceful warmth I felt when hugging my family remains. Soon the bark reaches my neck. Branches sprout from my back and flanks, leaves spreading over them. I look back at the trees and see my mother's face seemingly grown from the bark. We love you, Heart. Stay with us forever. The bark covers my face but I can still see. All around me are the faces of my family and friends appear in the trees. They smile and whisper their love to me. My eyes open and I'm back in bed in the hospital. I can see sunlight reflecting down the hall, and the smell of eggs and toast fills the room. I sit up, looking over at the breakfast plate on the nightstand. A steaming hot plate of eggs wait for me, along with glasses of milk and juice, and a single orange in the corner of the tray. "Good morning, sugarcube," I hear Nurse Sweetheart from the window. "I hope I didn't wake you. You looked like you were having a pleasant dream for once." I stretch, rubbing the sleep from my eyes. "I don't know if I did," I say. "It looked like a nightmare, but it felt so… peaceful." She smiles. "I'd take that over the way they were before any day. Go ahead and eat your breakfast. Call if you need anything." I nod and tuck into the meal, cutting a wedge of orange. The final image of my dream keeps playing in my mind as I chew the sweet, acidic fruit. We love you, Heart. We're waiting for you to come home. I sigh, listening to the voices as I eat. For the first time they sound almost pleasant. It's mid-afternoon and I'm reading my mother's letter again. I've lost track of how many times I've read it through, but each time makes me feel lighter. It's like unhitching a load I didn't even know I was pulling. My thoughts linger on my parents for the first time in days without anger or sorrow. I'm reaching out for the call button when a coughing fit overtakes me, bubbles filling the air around my bed. "Isn't it bad enough this disease is gonna kill me?" I mutter when I can catch my breath. "Does it have to make me look ridiculous, too?" Finally the coughing subsides. I take a deep breath, only to sneeze out a little bolt of lightning that singes the hoofboard. I rub my aching forehead. "Looks like it does." My back starts to itch. I twist around to scratch it and sigh. "The doctor never said anything about itching as a symptom," I say." Now a spot on my scalp begins to itch, too. I set the letter on the nightstand and scratch there, giving a satisfied sigh as the feeling subsides. Then a spot low on my hind leg begins itching, and on my shoulder. "Where is that nurse?" I mutter. I reach up and idly scratch at my shoulder. The itch subsides slowly. My hoof hits something hard jutting out of the back of my shoulder, and an unexpected jolt of pain shoots through my senses. "What is that?" I look around for a mirror, but there's nothing reflective close at hoof. I twist in the bed, trying to see whatever it is but it's just out of sight. My heart races, and I throw off the sheets to look at my hind leg. I stare at it. I recognize what it is, any filly would, but the image just won't connect in my brain. It's a little twig, with little leaves sprouting from the end— sticking up from my leg. As I watch, another leaf grows from the tip. I grab the twig and pull. "Oww!" I cry at the intense pain running up my leg. I see a trickle of blood flowing out from the base of it. Tears well up in my eyes. "No," I whisper. I take hold again with both hooves. Gritting my teeth, I pull harder, leaning back for more leverage. The agony is worse than I've ever felt. I close my eyes and keep pulling. Light flashes behind my eyelids when the stick gives way and I feel something warm and wet over my legs and belly. I open my eyes, panting against the pain. In my hoof is the twig, dripping blood from the tip. My leg aches and blood spreads over the sheets. I drop the twig and feel around my shoulder until I find it. "No, no, no," I say through clenched teeth. I grip it firmly and pull as hard as I can, twisting the leafy stick. My vision washes out behind bright light when it snaps. I hear blood splattering over the wall and floor and I throw the stick away, frantically grabbing for the next itching spot. "Get it out! Get it out!" I start yelling, breathing haggard. I pull harder, my vision blurring from pain and tears, until the twig rips free from my back. Blood squirts over the sheets as I grab at the twig on my scalp. "Get them out of me!" Pain grows as I yank and pull at the leaves, splattering blood over sheets, pillows, flowers, and cards. Blood pours over my face, blinding me as much as the agony. I pull with all my strength, screaming as loud as my lungs can manage, until the branch pulls away. I can feel skin peeling away with it. "What's going on in— Sweet Celestia!" I barely recognize Nurse Sweetheart's voice. Seconds later I feel my hooves being forced down to the bed by her magic. "I need help in here!" she yells. "Code blue! Code blue!" I writhe against her grip, screaming my throat raw. "Get them out! Get them out of meeee!" I can't stop. I only vaguely hear ponies approaching, orders being shouted. My body aches with every beat of my racing heart, and all over I feel more twigs growing from my skin. There's a sharp jab, then darkness washes over me. Day 22 Images tumble through my mind, disjointed and blending one into another. I'm aware that I am dreaming, but can't stop. I see my family, first sad then welcoming. Then my work friends float by. Nurse Sweetheart smiles at me, then Clear Cut is yelling. Words jumble and twist. "Watch it, rookie!... Get some rest, sugarcube… It'll be alright, you'll see… Did you ask him yet, Heart?... Never want to see your ungrateful hide… We just came to support you… The trees are alive… We love you so much…" Through it all, there are the trees. Tall, strong, and feeling so welcoming. I feel their smooth bark against my hooves and smile. They feel like… home We love you, Heart. Please come back to us. Come home before it's too late. The trees start to fall away, receding into darkness. I try to chase after them, but my hooves are rooted to the spot. "No! Don't leave me!" I cry as they start to disappear. "I want to be with you. Don't leave me alone." My eyes open. I'm laying in the hospital bed with afterimages of the dream flashing across my sight. I sigh, shaking my head clear. I try to rub my eyes, but my hooves won't lift more than a few inches. I look down and see them tied to the bed with thick and sturdy-looking canvas cuffs. Moving my hind legs under the sheet tells me they are tied, too. I look more carefully and see leaves and small branches sticking out here and there along my body. I can feel one on the side of my head, and another at my shoulder. Bandages are wrapped around me in spots, although the aching pain is nearly gone I stare at the leaves for minutes. None of the panic and fear remain, only a sense of peace. I look closer, seeing how the skin around the twigs blends right into the wood with no breaks. They are truly a part of me. I hear voices from the hall drawing closer, the speaker on despite no pony standing at the window. As they become clear I close my eyes and listen. "Make sure you monitor her closely, nurse," say a deep voice, full of authority. "When you see signs of roots sprouting from her hooves, alert me immediately. We'll only have a short time to get her outside before the transformation completes." "Yes, doctor," comes the swift response. I recognize Nurse Sweetheart's voice immediately. There's a stifled yawn, then she adds, "It's a shame we have to move her. I'd like her to be comfortable right to the end." "It's unavoidable," the doctor says. "If we let her change in the isolation room she'd end up damaging it, and it would take longer to dispose of her. We already have to bring in a tree removal company from Canterlot. The logging company here refused the job." There's a pause then he adds, "Perhaps you should go home and get some sleep. Another nurse can monitor her." "No, doctor, I'm fine," she answers immediately. "I promised her I would be with her to the end. You would have to drag me out of here. She deserves no less." There's a pause. "As you wish. I assume you're keeping her sedated as I ordered." "Yes, doctor, and restrained, as ordered." He answers with authority in his tone. "Do you disagree with those orders, nurse?" I hear her sigh. "I just think she should be allowed to choose how she faces what's to come. It's her life ending, after all. She might want to face it with her eyes open." "I know you've gotten close to this patient, nurse," he says. "Believe me when I say this is the more merciful approach. You saw her reaction to the first leaves sprouting. Would going through her last moments scared and in pain be better for her?" He adds in a quieter tone, "Part of me wants to just up the dosage of her sedative and spare her that end entirely." Sweetheart gasps. "Doctor! How could you even think that? It's a violation of every rule of ethical behavior." "I know that, nurse," he answers, sounding annoyed. "I would never order such a thing. It's just in cases like this I wonder if ethics get in the way of mercy." He takes a deep breath. "Anyway, you should get back to your duties, nurse. It won't be long for her now." "Yes, doctor," she responds, and his hoofsteps fade away down the hall. I hear some rustling of items, then the door open and close. "Is that going to kill me?" I ask, opening my eyes and looking right at her. Sweetheart gasps and nearly loses her magical grip on the syringe. "Oh my!" She lets out her breath. "You startled me, sugarcube. I didn't expect you to be awake." I keep staring at her, lips pressed tight. "Well?" I say. "Is it going to kill me like the doctor wanted?" Her eyes grow wide. "You heard that?" She shakes her head, a little smile coming to her lips. "Of course you did. No, this won't kill you. It's the same dose of sedative we've given you since you hurt yourself. I would never do that, Heart, no matter who ordered it." I nod slowly laying back again."How long was I asleep?" "Two days, sugarcube," she answers softly. "You did a lot of damage to yourself. The doctor wanted to avoid you doing it again." I sigh. "Only one day left," I mutter, "if I'm lucky." I lift my head so I can look at her and pull against the cuff on my leg. "Doesn't this stop me from hurting myself?" Her smile fades. "Mostly," she admits, "but you could hurt yourself pulling on the restraints, too. I would hate to see that happen." I feel my cheeks growing warm as I imagine what she must have seen. "I'm sorry you found me like that," I say sheepishly. "When I saw those leaves sticking out of me, I just couldn't get my head around it. It's one thing to be told you'll turn into a tree, and something else to see it happening. I guess I just snapped." Sweetheart nods. "You certainly snapped those twigs," she quips, then gasps and covers her mouth with a hoof. I stare at her, mouth hanging open at what she said. After a moment I chuckle, then laugh, letting go of the tension. She laughs along with me. For a few blissful moments everything else is forgotten. "Ah, I needed that," I say when I can catch my breath. She grins, nodding. "A good laugh can heal a lot of ills, sugarcube." My smile remains, but my voice is quiet. "Not all of them." I look at the nightstand and finally notice the empty surface. "Wait. Where are my flowers? My letter?" Sweetheart's smile fades. "I'm so sorry, Heart," she says softly. "They were covered in blood after what happened. I tried to save at least the letter, but it was soaked through. We had to dispose of them because of the contamination hazard." I swallow hard against the rising feeling in my throat. "It's alright," I say, forcing a smile. "I understand. You've got to keep everypony safe. I memorized the letter, anyway. I won't forget a word, or the scent of rosemary." She nods, wiping at her cheek. "Even so, I'm sorry it happened." "I appreciate that," I say gratefully. I look over at the syringe, still floating between the bed and the door. "What are we going to do about that?" Sweetheart looks over at it as if she'd forgotten she was holding it. "What do you want me to do with it?" she asks, looking back at me. I take a deep breath. "I was thinking about what you said to the doctor. I do want to face the end with my eyes open. But I also don't want you to get in trouble for not following your orders." She thinks about it for a moment, then nods. The syringe floats towards me and I sigh, laying my head back. "I understand." The needle descends to my foreleg. Instead of the poke I'm expecting, I feel something cool and wet squirting over my skin. I look just in time to see the last of the medicine leaving the needle. I look over at Sweetheart's smiling face. "Won't you get in trouble for this?" She shrugs. "In trouble for what?" she asks, the syringe already floating out the door. "I administered the shot. The syringe is empty. I guess I'm more tired than I thought." She winks. "Oops." My smile grows wide enough to hurt my cheeks. "Thank you." "My pleasure," she says softly. "Now, is there anything else you need?" I nod slowly. "Do you have any paper?" I ask. "I wanted to write a few letters while I still can." She raises a brow. "I do have some, but I can't explain releasing your restraints if the doctor returns." She floats a clipboard up from her cart, and a pen over it. "I can write them down for you, though. Whenever you're ready, Heart." I smile at her. "You really are the best." Taking a breath and letting it out slowly, I begin. "Dear Mom…" I lay in bed watching the ceiling. Despite the restraints, I smile calmly, my heart feeling lighter than it has in weeks. It took a long time, writing letters to all of my family, Clear Cut, and the rest of the crew, but it was definitely worth it. Hurry, Heart. Come home! The voices are constant now. I don't mind. I just know they want what's best for me. "Thank you," I murmur. "I don't know if I can make it." You have to try! It's not too late. "I'm tied up. They won't let me go." Please, Heart. Come to us. We'll show you the way. I feel an itch and look down in time to watch another small branch growing from my barrel. Leaves sprout from the tip, and I think I see a flower bud. I smile again. "It won't be long now." "Whoa, righteous!" I hear from the entrance. I look and see Tree Hugger, still in her wheelchair, rolling past the open door. "Your aura is so clear and pure now, Heart Wood. You are so beautiful." I smile broadly, watching her approach the bedside. "Thank you, Tree Hugger. I wrote to everypony that I had words to say to. I feel so much lighter." I chuckle. "I think they call it being at peace." She nods once. "Groovy. That's why I'm here. I have a question for you." "Anything you want to ask," I say. She leans in closer. "I overheard the doctor talking about what they want to do after you become a tree." I nod. "I heard them, too. They said my friends from the logging crew refused to do it. That made me very happy." Tree Hugger smiles. "That's radical! I told you the trees are alive, and it would be so harsh if they cut you down just as you finished your transformation." "Yeah, it will be," I agree. I shake my leg in the restraint. "But what can I do about it?" "That's, like, what I wanted to ask. It has to be your choice." She nods to the restraints. "Do you want to stay here and die as a pony, or return to the forest and live as a tree?" I look into her eyes. Only sincere love and compassion reflect back to me. Hurry, Heart Wood! Hurry home. Follow our path. "I want to live," I say with conviction. "Righteous!" she says and starts loosening my bonds. Once my forelegs are free I help with the rest. "How will I get out past the nurses and everypony else?" She flashes me a mischievous smile. "Leave that to me. Once I distract them, go down the hall to the left. The back exit is at the end and around a right turn, the door on the left." I stand up, my legs surprisingly strong after so long in bed. The dizziness is gone. I follow Tree Hugger to the door. "Wait until I make some noise," she repeats. Looking at me, she suddenly leans forward in the chair and pulls me into a hug. "Live a long and beautiful life, Heart Wood." I'm surprised by the embrace, but quickly ease into it. "Thank you, Tree Hugger." She pulls away, then rolls out of the room. Heading to the right she quickly gains speed and swings in a wide turn into another hall. "Can't catch me!" she shouts as loud as she can. I hear metal clanging on the walls and her continued shouting as other ponies yell and chase after. I hurry down to the left, looking over my shoulder. I just pass by the first hallway on the right on my way to the exit when I hear a familiar voice. "Heart Wood?" I spin around, looking Nurse Sweetheart in the eyes. "Why are you out of your room?" "I choose to live," I say, not breaking eye contact. Sweetheart looks at me for what feels like minutes, but must be only heartbeats. From behind her I hear hoofsteps and a stallion calling, "Have you seen her, nurse? She lost us two halls over." She doesn't look away. "She's not down here," she calls over her shoulder. "I think she went into the east wing. You double back and I'll go this way to cut her off." "Got it," says the stallion and his hoofsteps hurry away. "Thank you," I whisper. She smiles. "It's my pleasure, Heart Wood. Now go and live." Nodding once, I turn and run to the exit. I gallop through the moonlit night, quickly leaving the hospital behind. I don't hear any sound of pursuit, but a sense of urgency keeps me running through the town. I look everywhere for the path back to the forest and the swamp alongside it. Hurry, Heart. You're running out of time. "I'm coming!" I answer between breaths. "Where are you?" Follow our path, Heart. Come back to the light. I look up, seeing a bright beam of light stretching to the sky beyond the forest. I turn towards it and a softer glowing thread weaves between the buildings. I find myself smiling. "Thank you! I'm coming home!" I race past the outskirts of Ponyville, ignoring the few ponies still outside. One runs after me, calling for me to stop, but I follow the glowing path without even acknowledging them. They stop at the edge of town, and I race into the Everfree Forest alone. Please hurry. We have a place for you. "I'll be there!" I shout as I navigate the forest. I can feel more branches sprouting from my back. Bandages catch on brambles and rip away, leaving me in only my skin and leaves. The forest grows so dense that I can't see the beacon any longer. Only the thin ribbon of light guides my way around the thick tree trunks. The voices urge me on and I pant with exertion, running as fast as I can in such tight spaces. I burst into a clearing and see the light once more, so tantalizingly close. A loud and mournful howl sounds right in front of me and I skid to a stop. More howls sound behind me to either side as a large wooden creature prowls out from between the trees, with another right behind. "Timberwolves," I whisper, backpedaling away. I hear a rustling behind me and stop, looking to see two more approaching, cutting off my escape. "No! I'm so close!" I whine and press my eyes shut against the end. I hear growling all around. There's the sound of twigs snapping and I smell the wolf's rancid breath. A whimper rises in my throat. I hear two deep sniffs, it's breath hot on my cheek. The growling stops. Nothing happens. I let my eyes creep open slowly and quickly look around. The timberwolves sit around me, casually watching as I stand. Another wolf steps out of the underbrush and walks slowly towards me I hold my breath. It lays down in front of me, rolling over with its belly up and leaning on my legs. It whines and wags its tail. Slowly I reach out and rub my hoof against its wooden hide. The wolf gives a satisfied yalp, one leg quivering. A thought suddenly strikes me. "They think I'm made of wood, like them," I whisper. Heart Wood, where are you? I look up at the glowing thread waiting for me. Slowly I stop rubbing the timberwolf's belly, and it rolls on its side, leaving my legs free. I take a few cautious steps. They make no move to follow. Hurry, Heart Wood! I let out the breath I'm holding. "I'm almost there!" I call and sprint after the ribbon leading the way. Behind me the wolves lift their heads and howl as one. Moments later I break free of the treeline onto a trail, the swamp directly ahead. A smile breaks over my lips and I run straight for it. "I see you," I gasp, nearly out of breath. "Just a short run." Heart Wood, time is almost gone. Please, come to us I feel my legs beginning to cramp. "No," I pant, grimacing, trying to push through the pain. "I'm almost home." I manage to stay at a trot across an empty meadow, stretching each leg to ease the cramps. It doesn't work and the cramps grow worse. The beacon from the swamp glows tantalizingly close. I can see the flowers on the closest trees, pale in the silver moonlight. I trot a few more steps and one of my hind legs catches on something. I stumble to my knees. Pushing myself up I try to continue but the leg remains stuck. I look back to see what I'm caught on. Roots push out from my hoof, digging into the dirt. My lower legs are all covered in bark. "No!" I scream. Gritting my teeth I pull as hard as I can against the roots, eyes fixed on the waiting trees. The pain floods my senses when the roots pull free, half of them ripping off into the soil. I take another step, another hoof getting stuck. "Almost… there…" I growl, ripping a hoof free on every step forward. We see you, Heart. Come home. You can make it. The pain grows step by step. My legs stiffen and it gets harder and harder to break free of my roots. Tears stream over my face, blurring my vision. "Please!" I cry out, each word punctuating an agonizing step forward. "Let. Me. Get. Home!" I put a forehoof down to drag myself toward my goal, and it won't pull up again no matter how hard I try. "No!" I yell, trying to gain leverage. Another hoof grips into the ground, and another. "Please, no!" I cry, violently shaking my head. My legs grow completely stiff, the bark reaching my flanks. Ahead of me the light grows dim, the beacon fading away. We're so sorry, Heart. You're out of time. I throw my head back, screaming to the moon. In the distance I hear the timberwolves answering in a chorus of howls, mourning my fate. Tears stream over my cheeks and neck and I feel my barrel stiffening. We will never forget you. My neck won't move. "Don't leave me alone!" I cry as the bark closes over my eyes and mouth. I can still see, somehow. The pain is gone. All over I feel myself twisting and sprouting. Roots dig deep in the ground as my legs fuse together into a thick trunk. Branch after branch grows to the sky, sprouting leaves and flower buds along their length. A feeling of bittersweet satisfaction spreads through me and I sigh. A soft whinny echoes over the meadow. A few hours later the sun lifts over the horizon. Warmth washes over my leaves and trunk. I am content. Nine Months Later Three fillies run through the meadow, laughing and chasing one another. One, a pink unicorn, is about to tag her friend when the lavender pegasus spreads her wings and leaps into the sky "Hey! No fair!" cries the unicorn, still laughing. Her horn glows blue and she tugs the pegasus toward the ground. The mint-green earth pony bumps her flank into the unicorn, breaking her concentration. "Magic isn't fair, either," she chides. The pegasus swoops in and tackles both of them, all three laughing and wrestling together. The earth pony rises first, wiping sweat from her brow. "It sure is hot today." The others stand, nodding and speaking their agreement. The unicorn points at the lone tree in the meadow. "It looks cool under there," she says. At a nod from her friends, they all take off racing to the tree. I see them coming closer, joy flooding through me from roots to leaves. They are so happy. The trio tumbles down against my trunk, laughing. The pegasus catches her breath. "Do you think my parents will let me stay up late with you both tonight?" "Of course!" says the earth pony, leaning back against me. "I mean, they brought us all this way to Ponyville just for tonight." "Yeah, they have to let you stay up," the unicorn adds. She points to the bright sun overhead. "Tomorrow is the Summer Sun Celebration, and Princess Celestia is coming to raise the sun right here! There's no way they would let you miss that." The pegasus smiles and lays back. "Yeah, you're right. I was just worried over nothing." The three start chatting about what they think it will be like tomorrow morning. I listen to them, bittersweet feelings filling my heart. They are such good friends. I miss having friends close by. A thought occurs to me and my branches sway as if a gust of wind caught them. I know. I'll give them flowers.