Darkness was all there seemed to be as I lay there in the very soft and plushy bed. I knew it was morning and that I should get up but the softness of the mattress had a firm hold on me. I continued to lay there with my eyes closed.
*smack*. Something small and furry slapped against my face, jolting me awake. My eyes flew open and I sat straight up in the bed. There in my lap was an angry white bunny glaring up at me.
“WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU, ANGEL?” I yelled at the bunny, rubbing my check where he hit me.
Angel, the bunny, pointed to the window and pantomimed having a watch on. I knew what he meant; I had to get up to go to my therapy session with Twilight Sparkle.
If you’re confused I should probably start at the beginning. My name is Lazareth Gilbert. At least that’s who my I.D. card in my wallet and my memories tell me I am. I’m not sure why I can’t really remember much of who I am, but what I can remember the clearest is that I “woke up” in a field one day.
It turns out that this whole world is inhabited by talking animals, both real and mythical; at least I think that they did not exist where I came from. The country I found myself in is called Equestria and is mostly populated by ponies. Yes, you heard me right, ponies. What makes being here a lot worse is that I seem to be the only human.
Until I can function on my own I am living with a sweet yellow Pegasus named Fluttershy, and I have been staying with her for about a week and a half. Her friend, Twilight Sparkle, who is an intelligent purple unicorn, has been helping me with my memories in therapy sessions every day.
Anyway, back to where I was. I got out of the bed, put on my glasses, and slipped my pants on over my feet. I only had one pair of clothes so I was sleeping in the only black T-shirt I had. Angel bunny stood at the doorway tapping his foot impatiently. I wanted to tell that rude bunny off and slam the door in his face, but instead I put on a warm smile and said, “I’ll be right down. You can go on ahead.”
Angel just rolled his eyes and turned away to hop back down stairs. As his back was turned I stuck my arm out, promptly flipped him off, and then put it away and acted nonchalant as Angel looked back to glare at me once more.
I strained the bed the best I could, fixed my hair the best I could, and then cleaned myself ready for the day, the best I could. What? I’m not the best at doing things.
Umm…Lazareth?” the sweet timid voice of my host called from behind me. “I don’t want to bother you, but um, breakfast is ready.” She informed me.
I turned around to see Fluttershy standing in the doorway, looking unsure if she should have said anything. “Thanks Fluttershy. I’ll be right there.” I then turned back to the too-small mirror to give myself one last small look over.
Deciding I was ready enough for the day, I turned and walked out of the too-small bathroom, down the too-small steps, through the surprisingly not-too-small living room, and into the really-too-small dining room/kitchen. I don’t know if you can tell, but everything here is a bit too small and cramped for me.
The table was set up with a lot of food. Toast, sliced fruit, cold cereal, oatmeal, orange juice, milk, and fresh pancakes topped with syrup and butter, were among the food that was mine. Everything else was for the other animals that also took vacancy in Fluttershy’s house.
Fluttershy was nowhere to be seen, but that didn’t stop me from digging in. I had to get to the library, where Twilight lives, soon or I would get an ear full from Twilight about how it was important to be punctual and what not.
I began to eat, but I glanced up at the small clock on the wall. It read 10:20.
“HOLY CRAP!” I yelled, scaring a few of the animals that stood on the table getting their meal.
I had to be at Twilight’s in ten minutes. I ran into the living room and picked up my shoes from under the coffee table. I cautiously turned my shoes upside down just in case Angel decided to leave a “gift” for me in my shoes.
As I put my shoes on, I saw Fluttershy float in from outside. I guessed she was feeding the bigger animals outside. When she saw me she smiled a little.
“Have a good session at Twilight’s.” she told me in a very soft voice.
As I was putting on my last shoe, I looked up at her and shook my head “yes.” Then, once my shoe was on, I grabbed my 3DS from its shelf, where Angel couldn’t get to it, and rushed out the door.
I ran down the path that led into Ponyville, the town I had given a heart attack to when I first arrived. Now that the town was acquainted to me (thanks to one of Pinkie Pie’s parties), I could walk, or in this case, run through it without fear of somepony calling animal control.
I could see edge of the town still far off, but if I kept running, then maybe, just maybe I would make it. And ran I did. I ran past ponies that wandered the path. I made it to the park. If I cut through then I could get into town faster.
“Excuse me! Sorry! Pardon me! Trying to get through here!” I said to the ponies that I bumped into in my mad dash.
I finally made it into the town square. I looked up at the clock tower. There was only one minute left until I was, as Twilight put it, “TTTAAAAAARRRRRRRRDDDYYYYYYY!”
I could see it, the tree that held the Ponyville library. I sprinted faster than I think I’ve ever ran. The clock tower began to sing its tune, signifying the passing of half the hour.
Right as the last chime sounded I was able to knock on the front door. *KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK,*
The door opened, revealing the inside of the library that I had visited every day for the past few weeks. The one who answered the door was Twilight’s assistant, Spike, a small purple dragon with green spikes running down his back.
“Hay Lazareth, you’re right on time.” He greeted. I gave a high five and a fist bump we then walked over to the small sitting area.
“You know how Twilight hates Tardiness.” I joked.
Spike grinned guiltily. “Actually, Twilight’s not here. She went out to grab a few supplies.”
I was dumbstruck. “What? She makes a whole big fuss and I had to run all the way and she’s not even…” I babbled out. “Ugh!” I let myself fall onto the soft couch, groaning in defeat. “You have got to be kidding me.”
Chapter 2
“NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!” I yelled as I ran from the library, covering my ears with my hands. I feel like this might have been an overreaction, but what could I have done?
Twilight had gotten back from the market not long after I arrived for our therapy session. “Sorry I’m late.” She apologized.
“It’s no big deal.” I answered, even though deep down I was a wee bit pissed.
“Are you ready to start?” she asked after she put what she had bought away.
I shrugged. “I guess.” I said flatly while laying down comfortably on the couch. Twilight sat down in a rather large and plump beanbag chair and levitated a note pad and quill pin to her eye level.
“Now,” she started when she was situated, “Let’s start with the basics.” I rolled my eyes. She makes me do this every day.
I sighed and then began. “My name, as far as I can tell, is Lazareth Gilbert. My clearest memory is waking up in a field just outside of Ponyville. I don’t have any memory of who I was before that.” I said, bored.
“Good.” said Twilight happily. “Now, do you know why you know the things you know even though you don’t know how or when you learned them?” she asked.
“There has been no change in that.” I answered. I sighed and turned my head to look at Twilight. “I wish I did though.” I then noticed how perfectly the sun was hitting Twilight from behind, making her look radiantly beautiful. I blinked my eyes and turned my head back to look at the sealing. Luckily, Twilight didn’t seem to notice.
Twilight scribbled some notes down on her pad and then looked up. “Okay now for today’s focus.” She said, turning a page in the note pad.
Everyday this past week Twilight has given me a focus to think about, something to test me to see what I can remember from where I came from. It has ranged from home to religion, politics, and even my 3DS and sonic the hedgehog wallet. It has seemed to do a lot of good, but the one she had for me today was what caused me to run screaming from her home.
“What is it today?” I asked.
Twilight blushed slightly, recomposed herself and spoke. “I would like to see what you can remember from your species biological reproduction methods, mainly the biology of your genders' sex organs and if we have time, I would like to see your-” she was then cut off by my yelling.
“Noooooo!!!” I yelled. I hopped off the couch and ran out the door shouting “NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!” all the way down the street.
I ran into the park looking behind me every so often to see if the purple unicorn was still giving chase, relieved that each time she was farther and farther away. I found a Ponyville Inquirer newspaper, opened it and covered my face, peeking out from it just a little to see Twilight run past. When she ran by I got up and hid behind a tree. I needed to take a minute to catch my breath so I lay down on the grass.
“BWA!” I yelled. Standing right above me with a very annoyed look on her face was Twilight Sparkle.
“Lazareth, what was all that about?” she snapped at me. Honestly, I was quite unsure myself.
I shrugged. “I don’t know, maybe because it’s a touchy subject.” I said sarcastically. “I mean: politics? Easy. Religion? No sweat. Sex? Now that something I would rather keep private.” I explained. I could feel my face turning burning red. I straightened up, two thoughts coming to mind. “How did you even find me?” I asked.
Twilight raised one eyebrow in confusion. “Uumm…? I don’t know if you’ve noticed but, uh, you kind of stand out in a crowd.”
I face palmed. “Okay, that was kind of a stupid question.” I admitted. Twilight giggled a little. I looked back up at Twilight. “And why do you want to talk about my specie’s reproduction anyway?” I asked feeling really embarrassed.
“Well, we talked about what you remember from your culture, as strange as it was. Now I would like to know what you can remember about your species personally. Like biology.” She said like it was the most obvious thing ever.
“But did you have to start with sex?” I groaned.
“Birth is the beginning of any living thing. I thought it was a very good place to start.” The purple unicorn explained. “I’m sorry if it offended you.”
“It’s okay,” I said. “I did overreact.” I put on an apologetic grin. “If you think it will help, then...” I sighed. “I guess we can talk about it, but the conversation has to stay between us.” I warned.
Twilight smiled victoriously. “Deal!”
*************************************************************
I have to admit that the conversation about human reproduction didn’t go as bad as I thought. It was mostly about how the baby develops in the womb. It could remember a bit, but not much.
“I have a feeling that I might not have been the most intelligent person on this subject.” I said to Twilight after the focus session. I put on a silly grin and rubbed the back of my neck with my hand.
Twilight just smiled. “It’s no problem. Most ponies, I imagine, would have trouble remembering the names of the steps in which a-”
“Twilight, are you guys done yet?” Spike interrupted, poking his head into the room.
Twilight smiled and said. “Just about.”
“Good. This is the last room before I’m done cleaning the library.” Spike said as he walked in to the room. He was wearing a white and pink frilly apron. I had to burry my face into a pillow to keep from laughing at such a sight. Spike was dragging a small cart with various cleaning supplies on it, such as a mop and bucket, a feather duster, window spray, cleaning wipes and...a trampoline?
“Uh, Spike, what is the trampoline is for?” I asked, gesturing to the object.
Spike looked over at the trampoline with confused expression on his face. “Oh, that’s so I can get the high up, hard to reach areas.” He said, straightening back up.
“That’s a bit unorthodox, don’t you think?” I said. “Wouldn’t it be easier to use, I don’t know, maybe a ladder or a step stool?”
Spike just grinned. “I guess, but this way is funner.”
“Funner isn’t a word, Spike.” Twilight corrected.
“It is now.” Spike said with a cocky tone.
Twilight just giggled and motioned for me to follow her out the door. “Alright, ye of many words, we will leave you to do your work.” Twilight said smiling.
I followed Twilight out into the main room of the library. It was quiet; very quiet. The kind of quiet where you wish there was noise, but no matter how much you willed it, it stayed quiet. What made this more awkward for me was that Twilight had busied herself by putting away some books while I just stood there in the middle of the room watching.
The awkward was thankfully broken when there was a knock on the library door. I let out a breath that I was apparently holding. “Could you go get that?” Twilight asked.
“Okay, sure.” I said as I walked to the door. I opened it to find a cyan blue Pegasus with a rainbow mane and tail waiting on the other side.
“Hey, Lazareth.” The Pegasus greeted.
“Hey, Dash.” I returned the greeting. I had to turn my head away a little, so as to not show the blush I’m sure I had on. I would hate to admit it to myself, and I would REALLY hate to admit it to her, but I had sort of started to have a crush on this mare.
Twilight walked over to where we were standing by the door. “Oh, hello, Rainbow Dash!” She smiled to her friend. “What brings you here?” she asked.
“I was wondering if you could help with a new trick.” She asked Twilight. Twilight put her hoof to her chin in thought. “C’mon. I need some of your super fancy schmancy math skills to see if it’s possible to pull off.” Rainbow begged.
Twilight sighed. “Okay, I’ll help.” She then turned to me. “You want to come along?” she asked.
On the outside I seemed cool and calm as I simply said, “Sure,” but on the inside I wanted to just jump for joy, as I screamed, “I GET TO HANG OUT WITH RAINBOW DASH, OH MY GOD!” in my mind.
Rainbow did a small back flip, floating in the air instead of landing. “Cool, let's get going.” She said, turning and getting ready to speed out the door.
“WAIT!” Twilight stopped her. “I have to grab just a few things.” She walked into another room.
Rainbow Dash just landed and started to tap her front right hoof. “I’m wwwaaaiiiting.” She said impatiently. Just then I got the strangest feeling of Déjà vu.
I looked down and saw the chain, which connected my wallet to my jeans, hanging out of my pocket. Without even knowing what I was doing I pulled out my wallet. It was a standard rectangle shaped wallet with Sonic the Hedgehog on the front and other Sonic characters designed in the back ground. It suddenly hit me why what Rainbow had said sounded familiar. “I’m wwwaaaiiiting” is the catchphrase of the blue hedgehog in the comic books series.
When I realized this, a sharp pain spiked through my head. “GAH!” I clutched my head with my hands and doubled over on the floor. Everything was going white with occasional spots of color flashing through my vision.
Just when I thought I would no long be able to stand the pain, everything stopped. I felt as if I was floating. Then I felt a slight pressure on my right side and everything went black.
It took me a second to realize that I had my eyes shut tightly and that I was laying on the floor. I opened my eyes slowly to see the worried faces of Twilight, Rainbow Dash, and Spike.
“What was all that about?” Spike asked stepping closer to me.
When my brain finally processed what Spike had asked, my body processed the pain shooting up and down my side from when I must have fallen on the floor. I got up carefully, or as carefully as I could, off the floor and tried to shake the pain out of my arm.
I looked over to Twilight, whose face was somewhere between confusion and horror. “A-are you okay?” she asked.
“I’m not sure what just happened.” I responded. I rubbed my head with my hand, my head still hurting from the pain that shot through it.
“You totally just fell on the ground and started screaming like a maniac.” Rainbow Dash informed with worried expression. She flew over to me and wrapped her front hooves around me, embracing me into a hug. Needless to say, I was quite shocked and excited that the pony that I seemed to have formed positive feelings towards was actually hugging me.
“I thought nothing scared you, Dash.” Twilight said sarcastically.
To my dismay, Dash pulled away. “It didn’t scare me! It only startled me. Ya, that’s what I meant to say.” Dash defended herself.
I was a bit upset on the inside that dash ended the hug, but I tried not to show that on the outside. Twilight then took my arm in her hoof to check my pulse.
“What was that all about?” she asked.
I thought back to the moment right before I fell on the ground. I was looking at my wallet, and then remembered something about Sonic. Memories began to flow through my head. “I remember Sonic.” I said. “I can remember my Sonic stuff.”