Hear me out.
Did you know ponies are squeamish of blood?
I mean like they are anxious around that stuff. Even highly trained nurses are unsettled by it in some shape or form.
Trust me I should know.
I use to be the same way. I mean I hide stuff like that the best I could, but at the end of the day, I never liked the sight of it either. I've spent enough time with Twilight and Smart's to come up with my reasons why that might be the case. As nerdy as it sounds.
Looking back on it I kinda miss it. The whole being weird around blood thing. Not because of what happened, but because I missed the experience of being just a normal pony. Instead, I'm stuck in Tartarus hole getting treated like I got twisted form of the flu.
Question.
Have you ever looked in the mirror?
Oh, who am I kidding, of course, you do who doesn't? Especially those snobby ponies in Canterlot. Take prince Blue Blood for example. Now that's a pony who I wish I snapped on. Especially the way he treated Rarity. By far one of the worthless stallions I met.
I miss my roommate.
Miracle her name was. She was a good pony. She was the only one who was able to look past the scars and the wing. She was munch like Fluttershy in a way. Her kindness for one, but oh boy did she have some feistiness in her! Truly one of a kind. Now her husband is a bit bizarre. He is coming to visit next week. He also decided to bring the foals along after our first talk. Don't ask me why, but if I had to guess it probably has something to do with being able to see past anger and hate. Then again I was never good with foals.
I'm saying this because when ponies look in the mirror they see themselves. When I look in the mirror I see those who died alongside me.
I don't remember much of my past life. That includes most of the ponies in it. Discounting my parents and two others I know practically next to nothing about the ponies from my past. Twilight says that it's probably a side effect of the magic that was used.
My therapist says otherwise.
Do you like to fly?
Oops sorry, dumb question.
I loved flying. It was a passion that stuck with me after birth. Heck, the doctors even said I came flying out of the womb. Not that I believe that sort of thing.
They say I had a big dream once. I planned to find some way to join the Wonderbolts. Partly because I knew that I would be the fastest flyer on the team. I mean it makes sense. come on let's be real here, name one other pony that once moved fast enough to break the sound barrier.
Exactly.
In any case, those dreams are nothing but dead weight now. Considering that they got chopped off during a drastic takeover. Now that was the true definition of insanity let me tell you.
Wanna know something?
The worse part when killing a pony is when you look into their eyes. In doing so you see all the little emotions, but none greater than fear. You know that look of absolute terror in their eyes when they realized they were going to die? It gets even worse considering that we have no idea what's beyond the other side of the door. Well, not that door you're staring at but close enough.
I met one who got off on that type of thing, and I mean that in the most literal way possible.
Fortunately, it wasn't long before we decided to ditch her. We decided that we were better off dealing with the one obsessed with rainbows. She was also batshit insane don't get me wrong, but we all agreed that it was still marginally better than the alternative.
wanna know something else? The World that I was stuck in still made a lot more sense than the one I was sent back to. Out there the rules were simple. Stick together and stay alive. Everything else required brute strength and a whole lot of luck.
I was in many groups before I met them. We use to call ourselves TRD a slogan that meant we were business.
There were about five of us in the group altogether.
The oldest was Strong. Of course, that wasn't her actual name but we needed something to help tell ourselves apart. Strong was the biggest and meanest out of all of us. When I tell that that Strong makes AJ's brother look small I mean it. She was at least four times his size. She also took pleasure in ripping the other cyans apart. The way she did it looked as if it took little to no effort at all.
Beyond all that, the mare was a real sweetheart. Witch is kinda insane considering she grew up in a world without kindness.
Next up was Smart.
Now she was our tactic expert.
Smart was no pun intended the smartest pony I ever met. Sure she wasn't exactly Twilight brilliant, but she was damned close. The mare had a knack for coming up with ways to surprise and or attack our opponents, and while we did tend to charge in without thinking we at least considered her plan.
Smart was also a very quiet pony. Only ever speaking when spoken to. Or when it was time to come up with a plan. Other than that Smart was very secretive about her past life. The only thing she told us about it was that she grew up in a very lonely household.
Next up was Smiles.
The crazy thing is he was the only male that I would see for a very long time.
Smiles tended to not take anything seriously. Instead, he usually would joke and horse around for fun. Regardless when it got really serious the colt was very quick on his hooves. So quick in fact that it was like he was able to be at two places at once.
He was also very, very brutal. I mean we all were in a way, but Smiles took it beyond extreme. I'm not even gonna describe what he does, but I tell you this it would only take three minutes before the pony begged for death.
Then there was CRD.
Which was short for colored Rainbow.
Rainbows are her obsession as I mentioned earlier. So the name seemed fitting.
CRD was a pony more leader-driven than the rest of us. I and the others tended to decide things as a group. In any case when CRD joined she immediately started barking orders and treating us like we were expendable. Something that we didn't take too kindly to. So we kindly tied her to a tee and then exchanged some soft words before beating the living shit out of her.
All in all, things worked much better after that.
I'm not even kidding. After some time passed CRD began to treat us with way more respect and thus we decided to fully accept her into the group. Smiles and Strong immediately took a liking to her after seeing how blood-thirsty she can be in battle.
Then there was me.
Nothing.
Yup, that was my nickname. It is one that I labeled on myself.
Why?
Because of how blank my mind and personality were when I awoke. I was like a freaking zombie. Just moving from place to place. Doing a whole lot of nothing but searching for food and water. Plus like I said I don't remember much before my time there. It was kinda bleak. Eventually, the gang helped me become the violent and unstable mare that I am today!
Okay, so it wasn't them specifically but more so what I endured there but still.
You know I thought that being back in Equestria wouldn't be so bad. Especially considering all the friends I had here, but now after spending a year locked away I can't help but think that maybe all of this was a mistake. The ponies here want a dash that I didn't even know existed. They say I'm different now. More violent, unapproachable,
Scary.
They said that they woke up to me muttering names and the way that those ponies supposedly died in my sleep. All while smiling like a filly who was opening her very first present.
To tell ya the truth I don't even deserve to be in here. I mean it's not like I meant to do what I did. She just surprised me is all. I'm dealing with enough guilt knowing she's crippled for life as it is.
Anyway, I should go. Hope you have fun while here. Oh, and a piece of advice try not to piss the guards off ya? I'm not trying to get a lengthy sentence being forced to deal with more ignorant assholes.