Chapter one: Get it offa me!
Upon my horn.
Chapter One
Hey, I'm Izzy Moonbow, and I'm in a crapload of trouble. Yeah, yeah, you just see a happy-go-lucky unicorn mare with a tennis ball on her horn. Haha, great joke. But really, I'm in Tartarus. Well, not literally, but I wish it were so. It would be an improvement.
How did it happen? Who knows, it’s not like I wasn't asking for it. Not like one of those silly ponies who stand in front of a mirror in the dark saying Bloody Marey. Nope. Heck, I don't listen to creepypastas. I like pasta. Um, well, I don't listen to them too often. Was living a normal life, or at least one I was happy with. Well, somewhat. Then this stupid tennis ball showed up on my horn.
At first, I was like, “What in Tartarus?” A moment later as I looked in the mirror; I giggled. Oh yeah, I look silly. Okay, I’ll roll with it for a day. Hey, it’s just a tennis ball. It should be easy to remove. Mysterious tennis ball against my fore hooves? No contest! Guess I should’ve been more concerned about where it came from.
My parents just looked at me and shook their heads. They figured I was up to my sheneighnigans again. Went to school, got a few laughs. My teachers were used to my tricks and shook their heads too. Tomorrow, the joke will be over. I know enough about comedy not to let a joke go on for too long.
Got back to my sunny room, and I figured this was it. Climbed up on my yellow and pink Fluttershy coverlet and reached out my fore hooves to take the ball off. Yess, freedom was just a second away.
My hooves went right through! What the hay? I tried several times, but I couldn't touch the thing on my horn. Wait, it was real. Other ponies had seen it, even made jokes. Why can't I get rid of it? I called for my mom.
It took a few moments, but she was here.
"Mom, can you get this thing off of my horn, pleeease?" I asked. Okay, it was more like I pleaded. Hey, get a tennis ball stuck on your horn, and see how stoic you'll be!
She sighed. "Alright, dear." Then her eyes got weird. Well, it was more like her pupils bugged out. No, they didn't turn into changeling eyes like in the stories. One pupil grew big, and the other shrank. Then she turned away. Why is she acting like this? Why are her eyes acting weird? A chill raced down my back. This is soo not good.
"Mom! Help!" I really needed her.
She slowly turned towards me; her eyes were still messed up. "What is it, dear?"
What’s going on with my mom?
"Mom, please get this darn ball off my horn!" I said, barely fighting the urge to scream and curse.
"What ball?" My mother said sweetly. Sugar wouldn't melt in her mouth.
A ball of ice formed in my stomach. My mom can't see the yellowish-green thing on my horn now? Nooo! I know, she was joking with me, that must be it! But her eyes still looked unfocused.
"Mom!" I pleaded.
She just looked at me with her strange eyes, and a smile on her face. "Nice joke, dear. I have to go downstairs, and rest a bit." Then she left.
Noo! Why, mom? Why? I thrust my hooves at the ball again to rip it off my horn, and again they didn't grab it. For a moment, I thought about asking dad, but then I wondered if he would get messed up too. Maybe I shouldn't risk it with him? My friends or teachers? No, maybe something awful would happen to them, too. Didn't like it, but it seemed like I was alone.
Equestria doesn't have any magic, so why is this happening? Several hours passed, and I was no closer to getting rid of the ball. My fore hooves ached as I spent too much time trying to remove the thing from my horn. Eventually, my mother called me downstairs for dinner. Yeah, this is going to go over soooo well. Not.
I know my parents could see the ball, but they didn't say anything. At least mom's eyes were back to normal. Well, maybe when I wake up tomorrow, things will be better.
When I turned out my lights to go to sleep, the ball changed. It looked more like one of those sea urchins. You know those creatures with all of the spikes? Except these were more like writhing tentacles. I hurried up and turned on the light, and it was just a tennis ball again. If I had to choose between a writhing ball of ick and a tennis ball, ick wouldn't be my first choice. I kept the light on, and slowly fell asleep...
I woke up on ground that smelled like old blood. You know, like copper. Ewww. Time to get up quickly. Shook the dirt off of my fur, and looked up. My horn was free! Well, okay this was going to be a nice dream, except for the stink of blood and the bright white shine of bones in the distance. The purple sky that arched over me didn't help either. Something about the cloudless and featureless sky bothered me. There was no sun or moon. Yeah, this was going to be a nice dream. I really hope so.
What's in the distance? I trotted over to skeletons of ponies while my hooves kicked up reddish-brown dust. They were strange looking creatures having horns and wings. What? Alicorns? Like in the stories? Would've spent more time checking out the bones, but I felt like I was being watched.
Yeah, it would be great to wake up now, but I couldn't. I raised my head and looked around. Nothing but bones and a sky I didn't want to look at for too long. It was just too wrong. The feeling of being watched increased, and the hairs in my mane stood up.
Again, I saw nothing. Can I wake up now? The fun factor here was falling fast. You know, I could use some of the other nightmares I had. Like the one in which I was in school naked? Oh wait, I don't wear clothes. Does jewelry count as clothing? Or maybe the one in which I have a test and I didn't study? Um, yeah, that's a bit too close to life. What's scaring me?
After spending a lot of time turning around and looking, I finally saw something. Dots in the distance. Um, okay, well, except maybe I didn't want to see what the specks really were. It didn't help that they were coming in fast. I would soon see what I didn't want to. My ears and tail drooped for a moment, and I was galloping away wishing I was awake. No time to pinch myself.
Above me I could hear flapping wings, and a squishing noise. Not gonna look, not gonna look! The thing came closer, and something dripped on me. My fur froze, and burned. More of the freezing burning stuff fell on me. And I screamed and screamed and screamed...
I awoke in a silent room with my mouth agape while warm golden sunshine poured through my window. Birds chirped, and as I looked, the tennis ball was back on my horn. Oh, and all of the lights I had turned on were off. Ugh, another day.
Wished for Friday like that unicorn mare that sang about it, but it was just Tuesday. I know they can see the ball on my horn, but it's like they just carry on. Maybe I can get somepony to help? But if something awful happened to them, I wouldn't be able to live it down. Gotta keep my head down, and just get through the day.
"Ms. Moonbow!"
What? Gross, my notes are covered with drool. Mine. Great, I dozed off in class. "Sorry."
The rest of the school day was just torture. My eyelids felt like they were made of lead, but I managed not to doze off again. Barely. Stupid ball of ick!
When I got home, I was wide awake. I eyed my bed like it was made of spikes, no, not the little dragon from the stories. But I had to get my rest. For some strange reason, when I was too tired to stay up I went to sleep without any nightmares. Yay. Maybe this is over?
Nope.
I found myself on a street. Wait, I seemed to be taller than what I usually am. I mean like, I've stood up on my hind hooves plenty of times, but this was taller. What's going on? It felt like I was on my hind hooves, but my back didn't twinge. Had to look down. Oh my.
It looked like I was wearing some sort of short white shirt while two lumps or bumps poked out beneath my shoulders. What in Tartarus? Took a look at my fore hooves. Whoa, they were split into some sort of claws with pink painted nails. I liked the color. What sort of creature was I? At least I was still covered with the same-colored fur I had gone to bed with. I leaned down to look at my hooves. Whew, they were there though they were bigger. Yeah, it was mirror time, but where was I going to find one in the street?
Then the smells kicked in. I'm not kidding about that part. It was a nasty mixture of unwashed pony, garbage and other smells. Wanted to put my claws over my nose. Guess it was time to look around.
The smell came from a pile of green and grey bags full of trash. A few of them had been torn open and garbage spilled out on the sidewalk. Ewww. I've been in town and yeah, someponies put garbage bags out, but not like this. What was this messy place?
Ponies stumbled and shuffled past me. Some of them just pushed their way past the garbage spewing out of the bags. Well, these were not ordinary ponies. They wore clothing, and walked on their hind hooves. Wait, some of them didn't have normal legs. Some of them were made of metal with some sort of metal spring on the bottom replacing the hoof. What?
When I looked closer, I could see that some ponies had metal fore hooves, or plates that looked like skin on them. Some ponies had strange glowing metal bits on the sides of their heads. What are those?
Some of these strange ponies had lumps under their shoulders, and I could see that they were mares or fat stallions. Are those bumps breasts? Well, this could be an interesting dream after all. Well, if it didn't stink so much. Beyond the ponies walking on the sidewalk past me, some sort of self-driving carts rolled up and down the street.
Looked closer and saw a few with ponies in the front seats with their hooves on some sort of wheel. Okay, maybe ponies drive these carts. Some carts had no pony in the front seat. How are they able to drive without hitting anything?
I thought about walking around and wondered how I could cross without being hit by the carts when I saw that some ponies waited for the street to change color. No, I didn't say that wrong, there were sections of the street that said "Walk" or "Don't walk." Oh yeah, this could be fun.
Then the noise hit my ears. There was soooo much. Ponies talking, some sort of announcements being blared out somewhere and the rushing sounds of the carts driving down the street. Do I have to choose between covering my ears or my nose? It was almost too much. How many ponies live here?
It seemed like I saw more ponies here than I saw in town during the week.
After panting for a moment, the noise seemed to simmer down a bit. I looked up. Tall buildings seemed to touch the sky! I wonder if they have to move the roof for the moon. But after gazing at some buildings, I felt like they were worn and not well maintained. The windows were small, almost slits.
And then there were the floating boards showing all sorts of stuff. Some stallion being sat on by a mare with a large plot? What in Tartarus is that? Some half naked Neighponese filly was showing her naked plot screaming about ‘tasting the love’. Um, I think I'll pass for now. Nothing good comes out of a plot unless you're a flower. I shook my head and decided to cross the street when it turned green.
It was almost too much. The smells and noise and the constant push and bustle of ponies against me. Again, I wondered where I was and how many ponies lived here. This seemed more than big city life.
Then I heard the pops. Cool, fireworks. I decided to turn around and see what they looked like. A bunch of ponies ran past me with drooping ears and tails. Okay, maybe this wasn't going to be fun.
There were more pops. A green unicorn mare with a red spiky mane and tail squealed as three holes appeared in her chest. Blood spurted out. She slumped to the filthy sidewalk.
For a moment, I stood there gaping. Yeah, it was time for me to go. I backed up while I decided what to do. Sure, I could've turned around, but after seeing that mare get hit, I was better off seeing what was going on. Maybe that was a bad decision?
There were more pops, and the next group of ponies that tried to gallop? Um, sorry, can you gallop on two legs or is that a four-legged thing? Anyway, those ponies just crumpled to the ground.
What was doing that? Why am I not running, um, trotting away?
I didn't have long to wait.
A floating thing of dark blue metal flew up the street. There were more pops.
Something jabbed me a bunch of times. It was like being stabbed. I live in a good neighborhood, but I've heard of ponies having accidents with knives. Darn, I should've trotted away. I couldn't breathe, blood filled my mouth. Then there was another pop...
I woke up in bed. Noo! Not another one of those awful nightmares! Took another look at my horn expecting an icky thing. Well, that would be better than what I saw.
A thin slimy tendril led from the tip of my horn out of my room. Somehow, I followed the link to something huge and indistinct like a cloud. Imagine a white puffy cloud except it's black and dark and larger than everything else. How did I know that? I just knew that my tennis ball, ball of ick, was part of something that, well, was bigger than everything. It just loomed over me and I passed out...
When I woke up, there was the tennis ball. Great. I howled and pounded my bed then I tried to grab it. Of course, I couldn't. No. I can't deal with any more creepy dreams. Gotta find out how to stop them. I'm going to fight back, or I will end up in an Equestrian mental care facility, and it won't be a paying position. Even though ponies say there's no magic; I'm going to find a way. You know what they say, "When the going gets tough, the tough go to the library." Wait, that's not how it goes. Whatever. I rushed off to the local library.
A fat gray unicorn mare with a light grey mane and tail sat at a desk with a plaque that said, "Site Manager." The head librarian, um sorry, site manager looked at me with narrowed eyes.
I wanted to check my hooves to make sure I didn't step in something. "I'd like to get a book about magic. Please."
The disdain that dripped off of her lips was so cold, I was tempted to run up with my water bottle so I could get some ice water.
"Magic is for foals and the mentally challenged," She stated while peering at me.
I was hoping that she didn't see me as a member of both groups. Definitely not a member of one, might be a member of another. No. Stop that Izzy! Gotta fight!
"You can check the fiction or mythology section," She said while continuing to give me stink eye.
Yeah, thanks. I nodded. Not for the last time I cursed my stupid tennis ball. An hour and some change later, I sat at a worn wooden table with my precious finds. The library was quiet, and deserted. At least nopony could see me hoof through my paltry set of books. Other than a mention of Luna, the Princess of the Moon, who can help ponies in their dreams, there was nothing. Yeah, the going was definitely tough. Maybe I should've gone shopping? I yawned.
Guess it's time to go. I yawned again, and my head hit the table.
A voice whispered, "Use the dagger to cut the tie that binds, or share the fate of the other lost minds."
"Ms. Tennis Ball unicorn. Ms. Tennis Ball!" Somepony said loudly.
I tried to get up, but my muzzle was glued to the table. Who knew spit is soo sticky? Gimme a sec. After ungluing my lips by dribbling more spit, I finally raised my head slowly from the table.
The site manager glared at me. "Library policy forbids snoring, and the display of weapons. You must leave. Now. Really, your generation has no respect for knowledge."
Weapon? I looked down at the table and saw a dagger. It looked like a fancy blue and silver bread knife. The edge was so dull, you could give it to a foal and be sure nothing would happen. I swallowed. The table had some dust on it. Yuck. Gotta focus. I placed the dagger in my saddlebags, and pulled out a ratty looking napkin to wipe my spit off the table.
The site manager's eyes widened like I pulled out an actual rat to help me clean up. My campaign to make friends here was going wonderfully.
Okay, maybe I should leave now. I nodded and left the library while the site manager tried to stop my heart with her hateful gaze. If I died in the library, she would have to deal with my body! With that fun thought, I headed home.
Dinner was lame. Everypony just focused on their plates, and nopony spoke. Maybe that was a good thing? There was not much I could say anyway. I could feel their eyes flick to my crap tennis ball. Well, hopefully after tonight, I'll fix this problem.
Maybe?
I placed the blunt dagger under my pillow, and got ready for sleep. Had a few stupid thoughts about stabbing myself by accident while thrashing around. I do sleep rough.
Sleep grabbed me...
I was in a huge bizarre. Um, sorry,bazaar. It felt so big, but I couldn't see past the row of tables in front of me. There was something there, but it was all blurry. A cold breeze hit me from the right side. I'll check that out later, though I wished I didn't have to, but I also wanted to be free of the ball of ick.
"Want some water?" A voice said in front of me.
I saw a large bluish-white dragon.
The dragon shook a bottle of water in front of me. It splished and splashed..
Well, it looked.. wait, did that water have a yellowish tinge to it? I peered at the bottle in the dragon's claw. "What's up with the water?"
The dragon smiled and put the bottle down. "It's full of electrolytes and if you drink enough, it will whiten your teeth!" Then it held out its claw, and a bottle of water appeared in it. "Don't worry, it's pure! No one makes water like a water dragon!"
Making water? Not liking the sound of that. "Um, thanks."
"When you want to taste the best water in Equestria, you know who to find!"
Something was off about the whole water making thing. Not going to experiment with that. So I went to the next table.
A female deer with blue eyes wearing coveralls like a farmer stood, um wait, hovered next to a table. She had a glowing hoop over her head, and filmy white wings that flapped slowly. Her table was covered with things that had a slight glow to them. For some reason I couldn't tell what they were.
"Hello, what are those?" I pointed at the strange items.
The deer smiled. "Um, yeah, nooo! They're not for you. You already have what's needed."
"Really? I have a blade so dull; it makes me drowsy just from looking at it." That wasn't quite the truth, but the glowing things might be better. "I could use something more powerful against that!" I pointed to my right.
The deer's eyes flicked to the end of the bazaar then back to me. "Um, yeah, nooo! Sowee, these aren't for you. Yeah dearie, you're in a suboptimal place. Maybe this will help?"
For a moment, I was bathed in warm light. It was like the love of my parents except from something way way larger than me and them. I was loved just for being me. All too soon the light faded, and I was left cold and lonely. "Um, that was just, wow. Can you help me? Please?"
Again the deer replied, "Um, yeah, nooo. The rules forbid us to inter-um, help."
My eyes narrowed. "Really? You know what I'm going to face? Can you give me anything? I'll take the tiniest clue!"
The deer looked up then sighed. "Um yeah-"
My eyes narrowed, and my ears went back on my head. "Stop that!" I screamed. I was getting tired of being in trouble, and not finding any shreds of help.
"Chaaa. I get that you're upset, but know that others are rooting for you. You're not alone," The deer said and its wings slowed down. "There are rules about these things, and I can't break them without authorization. As far as giving you a blessing, well, um, yeah, nooo. It would break the rules." She nodded, and flew upwards into a golden glowing portal.
For a moment, a slight warmth caressed me like the last touch of a beloved relative that I would never see again. Damn, that sucked. I just stood there for some time.
"Pictures of your mother! Pictures of your mother!"
What in Tartarus is that? I was in front of a table covered in leather books while a scruffy brown stallion yelled about pictures of my mother. Who was this pony to have those pictures? "Hey! What do you mean by pictures of my mother?"
The stallion just sighed. "What do you put in a family scrapbook? Pictures of your mother, and other family stuff. What do you think I am? A pervert?"
Yeah whatever. I slunk down the rows of tables noticing how everything seemed to get more shabby. Even the floor tiles looked scratched and scuffed. I decided to just get this over, but the number of dented and busted tables seemed endless. I had to gallop down the rows.
Bam! I slammed head first into a cold black door. Oh yeah, party time! For a few seconds I just stood there. Did I want to do this? Um, yeah, no. Maybe it's time to retreat? A quick look around just showed a small empty room. All of the tables and creatures were gone. Well, let's get this done. I opened the door.
Then I fell into darkness...