The Only Way.
Have you ever woke up with a sudden fright?
That at one point through out the night,
their was a pony with peeving eyes?
That was planning your demise?
Rarity slept soundly in her fantabulous bed,
Thinking that all the sounds in the night were dead.
Little did she know of a certain friend,
that had plans to make amends.
Earlier in the day Rainbow Dash, Rarity and the other element of harmony holders had eaten a sugary meal at Sugar Cube Corner bright and early as they do on the days they all get together. Afterwards they all headed to Carousel Boutique for Rarity to unveil the new capes she had designed for them all.
*flashback cloud*(~^-^)~
"Rarity these capes are amazing." spoke the ever so bright and smart Twilight Sparkle.
"Oh Rarity these are just lovely." spoke the timidly shy Fluttershy.
"Why, their just dandy Rarity. Yall really out did yourself." Spoke Rainbow Dash....just kidding, I meant Applejack. Could you imagine?
"Yeah their faaaaantabulous." Spoke the sugar hyped Pinkie Pie.
"PAUSE, FAST FORWARD!" A shadowy figure screamed in a eerie sounding voice. He had broke through the outer lining of the cloud and held in his hand a remote. He pressed the buttons on the device."I really don't need to scream what buttons I'm pressing, but i feel like it makes me superior to ponies that cannot use a remote. Ya know, hooves and all." He gloated happily, or however much emotion a dark shadowy figure can express.
Just as he clicked the buttons the ponies began moving at hyper speeds. They pranced around in their capes and spoke very quickly and illegibly. They started dancing and doing all the friendly fun stuff that friends do. Such as playing games, jumping off of the ceiling, being yelled at by Rarity for jumping off the ceiling, eating sweets, and throwing each other out the windows. Not that i would know anything about these 'friendly activities'.
"Of course you know nothing of friendly activities. You have no friends." The shadowy figure taunted in an irritating voice. "Oh please, you love my voice."
The figure clicked a few more buttons on the remote. The room faded away with a loud swoosh along with all the ponies that were still partying and the bowl of hot sauce left by Princess Celestia as a present for Spike. A giant poster of Scootaloo filled the empty void now left by the disappearance of the flashback cloud.
So I guess *end of flashback cloud* ~(^-^~)
"Aw yes, so much better then all of those ponies jumping around and bothering us." The figure said while holding a stuffed whale and painting his nails a bright blue color.
"Uh hello. Is anypony here?" A calm and raspy voice spoke from behind the giant poster.
"Yes. Somepony is here, and if you don't mind he is trying to have a tea party." The figure spoke while pouring lemonade into the desk behind him.
"Hey! Where am i? What is this?" The pony flew through the poster and was frantically looking around at her surroundings.
"It is my workshop obviously Rainbow Dash. Honestly, you ponies can be so dense sometimes." The figure mocked while carrying a baboon on his shoulder and playing baseball with a few parasprites. The baboon however was enjoying his teeth being brushed by a chocolate milkshake.
"What are you doing?" The sky blue pegasus asked.
"BRUSHING THIS MONKEY'S TEETH GURL!" The milkshake spoke from his newly formed mouth in a rather rude and crass voice.
"What the-?" Rainbow Dash stood speechless, with her jaw hanging from her face. She was attempting to sort through all of the confused thoughts that now plagued her mind.
"Now. How would you like to take a few flying lessons from a true master?" The figure asked Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash looked at the figure and quickly retaliated from her confusion at the absurd question."I can fly just fine. I'm one of Equestria's best!" The prideful pony responded.
"Oh I doubt that. Nopony is as good as me."
"Oh yeah. I bet I could beat you in a race anywhere, anytime. Besides you don't even have any wings. How can you possibly fly?"
"Let me show you." The figure laughed like a disgruntled hyena. Two shadows manifested out of the figures back and sprouted into huge bat-like wings. "HA ! How do you like them apples!"
"Eeyup!" Big Macintosh screamed as he trotted loudly into the void bucking pineapple trees that had grown out of beach balls. The pineapples fell into a giant milk jug and poured out into a giant cereal bowl full of changelings that were dancing to techno music.
"Do pineapples even grow on trees?" The figure questioned wearing a leather hoodie while juggling Applebloom and Scootaloo.
Pinkie's party cannon was rolled into the empty space by a manticore with a lovely manicure. The party cannon had a note attached to the side of it.
"What's this?" Rainbow Dash stated as she pulled the note from the cannon. She began to read.
~Dear Princess Celestia,
Today I learned that all ponies are absolutely HORRIBLE. Why just today a small yellow pony with a red mane yelled at me, telling me to buy apples from her stand. I was so scared, my heart was racing. I didn't know what to do. I sat there shocked and afraid that this little pony was going to be the death of me. Her bigger more scarier looking friend or sister or whatever approached me. She said a few words that I couldn't understand, I was still too shocked by the little demon that had forced me to buy her obviously poisoned apples. But knowing her kind, I suspected she said something along the lines of "GIVE US YOUR SOUL SMALL ONE". I mean, seriously, she stood over me like a tower. I dashed away as fast as i could, panicking to get back home. I then realized that I had no clue where I lived, so I broke into this weird library tree thing. I started looking around and found a whole pile of these strange letters. They were written to you princess, they all seemed to contain some sort of a moral lesson about friendship within them. THEY TERRIFIED ME EVEN MORE. I'm almost certain that they are actually some sort of spy language being used to communicate secretly within the community. Plotting to take me down. I took it upon myself to follow the tone of these letters and send you one. So that is what I learned today princess. I hope you will see to this conspiracy and make sure I am safe, like you do with all your subjects.
P.S.
I have no clue how to send you this letter so I'm just going to stick it to this cannon I found and roll it down the street. Hopefully nopony gets hit...UNLESS ITS ONE OF THE CONSPIRATORS!!!
Love your faithful non-paranoid subject,
Berry Punch.~
"Uhhh. Well that's interesting. I think me and Twi need to have a word with Berry once I'm out of here ." Rainbow Dash had finished reading the letter and was staring at the shadowed figure, now trying to figure out a rubix cube.
"AHHH! Pony feathers!" The figure screamed. "This is the most annoying thing ever! The only creatures that could figure this out are professionally trained monkeys from the moon!"
"Hey don't bring us into this mess man!" Yelled a choir of monkeys from the moon.
The figure held up the cube in anger and smashed it on the ground.
The cube busted into tiny bits and pieces that spread across the empty space. The whole void began to shake.
"What's happening!?" Rainbow Dash screamed.
"I believe it's time for a smashing round of golf my dear." The figure said smoothly wearing a gold chain with a full size tree hanging from it.
The floor fell in and exposed a humongous black hole. A small tornado erupted from the abyss and began sucking down everything within the void.
"AHHHH!" Rainbow Dash screamed as she tried to fly away from the grip of the tornado.
It was sucking everything into the hole. The figure had taken shelter on top of his purple goat with a Pinkie Pie toy stapled to its eyelid. Rainbow Dash and the poster were now only a few inches from the hole. The tiny bits of rubix cube pieces flew around the room and exploded with the sound of booming thunder and that new foal smell.
"NOOOO!" Rainbow Dash yelled one last time as the black hole swallowed her along with the poster.
*-+*-+*-+*-+*-+*-+*-+*-+*-+*-+*-+*-+*-+*-+*-+*-+*-+*-+*-+*-+*-+
"Ahhhhhh!" Rarity screamed as she rose from her bed. She reached her front hooves up and scraped the sleeping mask off her face. She was panting deeply.
"H-h-h.. What was that!?" She began collecting herself. "J-j-just calm down. It was just a dream, nothing to worry your pretty head about Rarity." She laid her head back down on her fluffy little pillow. She turned and tried to get comfortable once more. She looked over to her wall. "What is that!? oh no!" Rarity yelled in fear. She was staring at a giant Scootaloo poster that covered her entire wall.
"AHHHH!" She screamed as she turned over in her covers. "Oh celestia please make it go away!"
"Its okay, nopony is going to hurt you anymore." A mysterious voice spoke from inside the room.
"What?! Who said that?" Rarity sat back up and scanned her room.
Berry Punch was standing in the corner with a roll of duct tape and a garbage bag.