We pass our sins and hopes onto the next generation, whether they ask for it or not.
Kintsukuroi (金繕い, "golden repair"), is the Japanese art of repairing broken pottery by mending the areas of breakage with lacquer dusted or mixed with powdered gold, silver, or platinum
Time has passed and life has gone on in equestria, the element of harmony have not been needed for years and have had time to flourish in their own personal endeavors. But this is not a story about them.
This is the story of the next generation, the ones who have the future resting on their shoulders as well as the past. Join Panacea and her friends as they navigate the world their parents left to them.
This is Canon divergent, there are some tweaks to the school of friendship and Twilight remains in Ponyville as Princess of Friendship.
The morning she found out had started just like any other.
Her godmother's sun glowed warmly through the kitchen window as it rose into the sky while her family had sat at the breakfast table eating leftover hayburgers from the previous night. Maybe it wasn't the most extravagant morning routine for royalty, but it was comfortable and familiar. To Panacea, it may have been her last normal morning for a very long time.
Reaction number one had been to burn the journal she found hidden in her mother's study, as if by incinerating it she could make the contents untrue. Panacea had withheld from that, knowing despite how the sickening words scrawled within made her feel that if she destroyed the journal then she would be able to push it far back enough to recall it as a particularly unpleasant dream.
She wanted to forget, goddesses she did. It would make everything so much easier and tidy. Another part of the young alicorn, hesitantly stronger, needed closure to what she had discovered about herself.
That was her resolve, but every time she went through the mental gymnastics of exactly how she could bring up such a thing with her mother...well. It was like her brain shook the etch-a-sketch for its own wellbeing before she could reach the end of the thought.
Panacea, daughter of Princess Twilight Sparkle, had been standing frozen in her mother's office with a journal clutched shakily in her soft pink magic when her father found her. Or was he even her father?
All her life she'd been raised and loved by the thestral stallion called Blue Moon. Her younger brother was definitely of his blood, showing classic thestricorn traits with his tufted ears and elongated noseleaf that acted similarly to a unicorn's horn. But Morning Star was also of their mother as well, taking many of his mane and coat tones from the mare.
She'd always seen the blue of her father's mane in her own multi-toned locks, the streaks of azure alongside the light and dark plum that made up the rest of it. Panacea's coat with a paler lavender than her mother but her grandmare Twilight Velvet was the lightest of silvers. It was explainable.
It was explainable. She really did take her blue mane from her sire.
That final thought made the last of her magic fizzle out and the journal fell to the ground like a dead bird. Tears pearled in the corners of her violet eyes as she looked to Blue Moon for answers.
Her father had walked up to her calmly, wiping away her tears with the soft frog of his hoof and putting the journal back where she had found it. He knew what was written on those pages, had a part in covering everything up so the pure and kindly Princess of Friendship could continue on with her duties unsullied by her rash actions.
Panacea knew that she could be angry and hurt at Blue Moon, but at the time all she wanted was to curl against the dark furred thestral and weep. And that was what she did. Letting her bitter and confused tears run down to her chin and drip to the floor while Blue Moon laid a comforting wing across her shoulders.
"Let's take a walk," He broke the silence once her muffled sobs had turned to sniffles, applying a gentle pressure to her back with his wing to stir her. "You have some questions, I imagine."
That was putting it lightly, but Panacea nodded weakly and swallowed down the thickness in her throat. It was with shaky hooves that she stood and followed him from the study, her gaze drawn to the ornate wooden floor with the black and blue tip of Blue Moon's tail being her only guide in following him.
"So what's in that book is..." She found her voice, a quiet and pitiful thing in its current state. Before anything more could be said, Blue Moon chittered at her for silence.
"Not here," He spoke gently but firmly, swiveling one of his ears as if to remind her where they were. It made sense that what they were going to discuss was not something for a castle stroll, but his insistence on it only made everything more real.
They trotted on in silence with Panacea performing a small refreshment spell on her eyes and cheeks, shrinking back the dilation of vessels and blood flow to a more normal state while drying her tears. It was a spell her mother had taught her, one Twilight had used during many a study induced breakdown. That thought alone almost brought fresh tears.
She and Blue Moon left the castle and continued walking until they were near the edge of town, past the vibrant orchards of Sweet Apple Acres. There, they stood on the sloping hill that led down into the Everfree.
A warm wind blew over the two, ruffling their manes and sending up the scent of morning new and wildflowers. Panacea closed her eyes and inhaled deeply, filling her chest with the aroma of the life around her and letting the thrum of cicada song fill her ears. If she could just hold onto this moment for a little longer, maybe she could make it feel like an eternity.
"Was I just an experiment to mom?" The words tumbled from her mouth as she exhaled, surprising her. Panacea gulped and continued, "She...why would she…" The wisteria coated alicorn stomped a hoof, biting her lip through a frustrated growl. "Why would she create a life just to test a theory? And in such a way? Didn't she think about me!?"
Blue Moon watched her through gentle orange eyes, letting her finish her rant before responding. "I don't think your mother was in a place at the time where she could think things through." He rubbed his chin with a wing thumb as he considered his words. "Twilight has always had a knack for getting too far into her own head when she works on experiments, so far that she gets lost. But...I do know that regardless of your origin, your mother does love you."
Panacea huffed spitefully, wiping her cheek where a tear was threatening to fall. Loved her as a daughter or a successful test? "Was fucking her brother just a bonus?"
"Language."
They shared a blank look as both figured the situation was beyond him chiding a practically grown mare on her choice of words.
"I can't tell you what your mother was thinking, or Shining Armor. All I know is that their relationship started long before your birth, and that it ended the moment the princesses realized what had happened." Blue Moon squinted as a shaft of sunlight fell over his face and lifted a wing to shield himself. "No one could have guessed that your cousin's birth would cause such a reaction from her, or that she would go so far to prove her theory."
Her heart dropped at his words, face flushing in shame. There was so much wrong here, so much that she couldn't understand. Twilight was always such a calm and collected mare, the ideal princess.
And yet, she'd bred with her brother on a hunch that he had something in his genes that when mixed with alicorn blood would allow the potential for another alicorn to be born.
And her father…Blue Moon.
"What about you?" Panacea spoke barely above a whisper, but she saw his ears twitch. "You were part of the cover-up, you've acted as my father this whole time...is...is Morning Star also-"
"No, you were the only foal from Twilight Sparkle and Shining Armor. But you're no less a child of mine than your brother, you are both my children and I love you however you came into this world." Blue Moon had already guessed where she'd been going with her line of questioning, and his answer left her only partially relieved.
"And what about mom? Is our entire family a lie?" She had done nothing but bombard the more stallion with questions since they'd gotten there, but he had answered them all without holding anything back or tiring of her grilling him. Panacea almost felt bad but there was just too much she had to know.
"That one is a bit more complicated, " Blue Moon hummed, "At first it was business, I acted as your mother's lover and proposed to her publicly on the order of Princess Celestia. It was to save a number of reputations and avoid a public scandal worse than the princess of friendship having a foal out of wedlock. It was business for another year before we truly fell into our roles and I realized despite how your mother was flawed, she was a beautiful pony at heart."
Panacea blinked at him, brow furrowed as she silently begged him to lay it out simply.
"I came to love your mother, but also have my duty to keep something like the circumstances of your birth from happening again."
So that's what it was, he was watching Twilight for the princesses. It made sense, but didn't make her heart hurt any less despite his declaration that she and Morning Star were loved. Her brother at least had the benefit of being born loved, Blue Moon had to learn to love her.
Did he really mean it when he said they were equal in his eyes? Just a few hours before they had been a normal family, everyone settled and certain of their roles in each other's lives. But now Panacea wasn't so sure.
"What happens now?" She doubted it would be anything pleasant like waking up to find out everything was a dream, her reality felt like pain flaking off a wall. Like crisp, orderly white paint chipping away to reveal rotten wood beneath.
"I think," Blue Moon, her father, began. "That you should speak with your mother, perhaps not now, but soon. I know you, and I know you won't be able to settle your head until you confront her on this. But until then, why don't you stay at a friend's house?"
For a brief moment she worried he was discreetly hinting that she leave their home permanently, but despite their conversation she knew that her father wasn't cruel like that. He'd meant it as a temporary measure to give her space that she desperately needed, she wasn't sure she could just go home and speak to her mother face to face at the dinner table in the evening.
Panacea nodded in assent, turning the peek over her shoulder at Sweet Apple Acres. "Maybe the Apples could use some help for a few days...it's a bit short notice but..."
"But your room is undergoing sudden renovations and you wanted to spend some time with your friend, you think they'll need anything more than that?" Blue Moon gave his daughter a playful nudge, "The Apples are good ponies, they won't pry if you need a place to rest. I'll smooth it over with your mom later."
He was right, if anyone was going to welcome a sudden visitor with open hooves it would be the apples. Besides, it had been awhile since she and Fuji Butter had a sleepover. Not since they were foals, now that she thought of it.
"That works for me," Panacea stood, "We should talk out me staying with them as early as possible, I'd hate to ruin any plans or spring it on them later in the day."
Blue Moon snorted and shook his head, but joined her in standing and stretched out his limbs. "Alright, let's go make a house call then."
It was a short walk to the farm, and as the road went from sparse and overrun to well maintained Panacea and Blue Moon walked on in surprisingly companionable silence. Still, despite her heart telling her that he was still her dad, her head was working to convince her that she was relearning just who this pony was.
Her father had been right, the Apples really didn't ask too many questions when someone needed a place to stay. Which was fine with Panacea.
Despite how early everyone ate breakfast, and the mad scramble to get a plate before everything was gone, she was finding her time at Sweet Apple Acres to be a peaceful respite before the storm that was confronting her mother.
She'd cross that river serpent when she came to it, for now the young alicorn was happy to have something simple to fill her day.
Like using her restoration magic on a sapling struggling with a bout of blight, carefully coaxing the cells into reproducing after she scraped away what rot there was that had gone too far. It was salvageable but the fledgling tree would bear scars.
The process was painstaking and took time and accuracy but it was soothing work, like solving a puzzle or riddle. Something she could mindlessly do while there was just enough focus involved to keep herself reigned in.
"Still messin' with that there sapling?"
Scratch the focused part.
"I just finished up with it, should be good as new with some time and attention!" Panacea turned to Fuji Butter, finding that the half kirin was almost nose to nose with her. "What are you up to?" The creamy orange mare had never seemed to consider personal space, at least when it came to friends and family.
"We rightly appreciate it, would've been a shame to pull the poor thing up, " Fuji gave the sapling a look over, closely eyeing the healed over gouges. "As for me, I was just about to grab some lunch. My moms should be ringing the bell any minute now, thought I'd come pick ya'll up on the way there."
Panacea's stomach growled at the thought of food, making her ears tip back with a sheepish grin. "Food sounds good, thanks for thinking of me, otherwise I might not have noticed the time..."
Something in her brain clicked unpleasantly at those words, they rang with familiarity and a flash of lavender was shoved from her mind's eye. She had to think about it eventually, but didn't want it to be through the worry that she would one day end up like her mother. Too preoccupied by her work, so far lost into her equations and theories that she'd do something selfish, ruin someone's life and lie to them for years and years.
"Pan? Equestria to Pan? You alright, Honeysweet?" Fuji was waving a hoof in her face with a concerned frown turning her lips.
"I'm fine!" Panacea jolted to attention, bonking her nose against her friend's outstretched hoof in the process. She cleared her throat and gave Fuji Butter an awkward smile before nodding in the direction of the house. "We'd better get going if we want to get to the food before your cousins do! "
The maned pony snorted a laugh in agreement before pawing the ground with a hoof, "Alrighty then, race ya there! Onetwothree GO!" And she was off, leaving a trail of dust rising into the air in her wake.
Panacea's own hooves were moving before she even realized she was running, wings pressed firmly against her side so as not to drag her down and her head ducked low in determination. She wasn't exactly known for her speed, but the young alicorn was known for a surprising competitive streak.
As the pair raced beneath the shade of trees onto open ground, she observed Fuji who was easily several pony-lengths ahead of her.
With her orange creme coat, freckles and straw and ochre duotoned mane it was obvious she was Applejack's daughter. The only thing separating her from your average earth pony was how her mane wrapped around her entire neck like a curly cloud of gold and her tail had a long leonine shape with a tuft of flowing fur at the end.
They were both oddities in Ponyville, maybe most everyone was too polite to point it out but she remembered that as foals when in public ponies would sometimes give the pair a doubletake. It had sometimes created a sense of spectacle when they were out on a playdate with their mothers.
That had lessened with the years as the town had gotten used to seeing them as well as a fresh wave of new and more diverse residents, but they had shared that sense of other ever since their young days.
Now they had something else in common too.
Panacea had been planning to ask Fuji later about how she felt about Rainbow Dash, in hopefully not as blunt words as that sounded to her. Her friend and her adoptive mother seemed to get along just fine, maybe even better than with her birth mother. Fuji had experience with living knowingly with a non blood related parent, she could give her some advice...but asking for it would give some implications she wasn't ready to explain with her sudden arrival.
There was no way in Tartarus that Panacea was going to tell her what she had learned, Fuji was her best friend but the thought of her learning who she really was left her ears burning in shame. What if she was disgusted with her? It couldn't be Panacea's fault, she had nothing to do with this.
Oh but she had everything to do with this!
Flaring her wings, Panacea put on a burst of speed and soared over Fuji Butter just as they reached the house. The last thing she saw before they collided was her friend's expression going from confused to shocked to angry before they burst through the door in a tangle of swearing limbs.
"Pan, you no-good cheating-"
"You're just mad because you lost!"
"You're damn right I'm mad-"
Ba-Bonk!
With a crisp metallic clatter and a merciful lack of pain, both mares felt their skulls rattled by an empty pie tin each to the head.
"Now what the Sam Hell is wrong with you two? Ya'll ain't foals no more!" Applejack's voice rose above their dramatic groans as the pair rubbed their heads.
A rasping and rhythmic wheezing could be heard on the other side of the kitchen, causing the Apple matriarch to swerve and point a pan threateningly at her wife. "Now don't you start up either, Rainbow," She warned the scarred pegasus.
Rainbow Dash pointed to herself with her eye widened as if to say 'Who, me?' before leaning back in her chair with a silent whistle.
"Auntie Applejack you just hit a PRINCESS!" Sweet Cider yelled, the colt's mouth hung agape and was dripping applesauce onto the table.
"Darn tootin' I did! Changed that girl's diaper when she was a foal and I can tell her momma she was misbehaving in my house, she's kin before she's a princess!" Applejack set the tins back down on the counter and pointed to the hallway, "Now ya'll go wash up before you sit down and no rough housin' inside!"
Panacea and Fuji Butter lowered their heads with a sigh, grumbling a "Yes, Auntie Applejack" and "Yes, momma" respectively as they scurried off to the hallway bathroom to wash their hooves.
Once that was done, they returned to find the rest of the family had gathered at the large table that took up most of the dining room. The clacking of plates and mingling of voices lent a brand of liveliness that could only be achieved by an Apple family meal.
It was different from her own family sit downs. They weren't boring, especially when they had guests over, but Panacea's family had a much more relaxed take on mealtimes. Here at Sweet Apple Acres, there was much grabbing and yelling and even on the rare occasion someone took a pie to the face. Being so close with the Apples, it wasn't surprising anymore but it was something that while familiar was also a 'once in a while' kind of thing.
She and Fuji piled their own plates with creamy custard apple tarts, fried eggs, caramel pear-apple fritters and more. It wasn't until after they were seated and eating that Panacea realized she had been following Fuji's lead on building her plate.
It was much more than she would normally eat, but now that she had touched it and it was on her plate it felt rude and unsanitary to put any of it back. She was just going to have to power through. If Fuji Butter could do it, so could she!
Panacea had regrets.
She slumped over her plate, still half heartedly chewing the edge of an egg white while Applejack and Fuji cleared the plates away.
"Now don't go hurting yourself, Pan, if you can't finish then it'll go to the pigs. Won't be going to waste or anything," Applejack spoke over her shoulder as she washed a plate clean. "You know, it's funny...your momma had a hurtin' put on her by an Apple lunch too when she first came to Ponyville-"
Crash!
All eyes went to Panacea as her water glass fell to the ground and shattered, the last wisps of her magic dissipating into the air as she stared at her half finished plate with a glassy stare before her shoulders shuddered.
They twitched again before she hid her face behind a hoof and bit down on it to muffle a tearful hiccup. Then she was crying, throat hot and constricted as she tried to keep her noise to a minimum, as if she could hide the tears slicing through the fur of her cheeks.
"Hey, hey...it's alright, Sugarcube." A warm embrace wrapped around the lilac mare from one side, being met halfway by a matching hug from the other. Fuji and her mother pressed close to Panacea on either side as Applejack rubbed her back with a still soapy hoof. "Now I don't know what's goin' on with you and your mom, and I won't press. But know that there's always a place for you here if you need one, long as you need it."
The two Apples pulled away, with Fuji keeping a hoof on her shoulder as Panacea hurriedly dried her tears.
"Like momma said, you're kin, Pan," Fuji asserted gently, giving her shoulder a little shake. "If you ever wanna talk, just give a holler and I'll be there in ten seconds flat!"
Panacea sniffled and nodded, patting her friend's hoof in acknowledgement as Applejack began to sweep up the shattered glass. "I'm sorry about the glass, I can get that-"
"Now don't you worry none, why don't you two go outside and get some fresh air?" Applejack nodded to the kitchen door, still slightly ajar to her annoyance from whoever had last left.
She was tempted to make a fuss and insist upon helping, but Panacea relented with a tired nod and followed Fuji outside. The light was shifting to the warm amber of the afternoon sun as it bathed the orchard, outlining the leaves on the trees and warming her wings through her feathers. It was nice.
The pair came to a stop below one of the apple trees, leaning against it and scuffing their hooves in the dirt. Fuji seemed to be content to leave things in silence, for which Panacea was grateful for, but also afraid to break it.
"So...you wanna tell me what that was all about?"
Oh ponyfeathers.
"Not especially, sorry Fu, I'm just not ready." After that display of kindness and warmth, she felt a bit more like she could talk to her friend about it. But Panacea still felt shame and fear rooted too deeply to even consider trying. Just knowing that the other mare was willing to listen was appreciated though, and she resolved to drop off something nice later for the Apples to repay their hospitality.
Fuji grunted in reply and closed her eyes as she leaned back against the tree, releasing a soft exhale. "Fair nuff."
They stayed like that for half an hour, making quiet small talk and soaking in the lazy afternoon. No one came to collect them or bother them, which was likely Applejack's doing. For just a little bit, to Panacea they were the only ponies in the world.
However, if what happened in the kitchen was any indication, something had to be done. Confrontation was something the young alicorn hated above all else, but this was something she had to do for her own peace of mind and soul.
She had to have a very hard, very awkward and likely very emotional talk with her mother.
"Hey, Fu?" She lolled her head to look at her friend's face.
"Mhm?" Fuji raised her brows at her.
"I think I have to go home and talk to my mom..." Panacea watched the half kirin's brows rise higher, but she posed no more questions.
"Well now, you do what you gotta do, Honeysweet. If you're makin' up then that's awful big of you. If you're going to war then go get her, Tiger." Fuji patted her firmly on the back, jostling the startled pony.
Panacea stood up and shook out her coat, giving Fuji a wry glare before smiling. "Thanks, Fu. Tell your folks that I appreciate them letting me stay the night, we should do that more often...you know...sans the crying."
Fuji laughed, rising with her to walk her to the edge of the property. "Nothing to it, Pan, you're always welcome here!"
They bid each other farewell, then Panacea found herself alone, following the dusty road back to Ponyville center. It was hard to miss the massive, crystalline castle that her family called home. It was like a beacon that drew her in but repulsed her all at once, the closer she got, the more conflicting her feelings became.
Finally, she stood before the gate that opened to the estate. Panacea inhaled deeply, holding it in her chest with a hoof pressed to her heart before letting it go with a slow exhale and sweep of her foreleg.
Everything in its place. That was the ideal that Sunspot Flare lived by.
His possessions were few and well organized, his day followed a pre-planned schedule that kept his life a well oiled machine and his grades put him among the top of his peers in his studies at Ponyville's esteemed Harmony University.
With his parents held in such high and at times in whispers, controversial esteem, it was up to Sunspot to succeed or else be just another mark against his parent's names.
All had to be in its set place, including him. Anything else was a waste of time. Most everything at least.
Sunspot's teal magic constricted across his quivering flesh, the ringing in his ears growing louder as a line of spittle dripped down the side of his chin. He could feel his heartbeat in his throat with the magical aura constricting it, each throb making his cock twitch in his hooves while he worked it frantically.
The teal glow around his throat shattered and he gasped for air, face flushing further to a deep crimson as he shifted his focus to his dark fuschia and pink mottled cock. The ethereal grip moved along his length while constricting, squeezing and thrumming with a feather-light tingling that only magic could provide.
If everything had to be in its place, he could never have her. No one could. She was beautiful and perfect, too perfect to be touched by him or anyone. Purity personified into a pony, a goddess even.
Sunspot shaped his magic into something more organic, an inviting slit framed with neat lips and a plush clit that kissed the base of his cock with every thrust inside. If he closed his eyes he could imagine it was her, legs locking him into place as he fucked into her like a stallion possessed. Her mane like a night sky cut through with the colors of the northern lights, soaked in sweat as it fanned out from her head. Goddesses, she was beautiful.
Sunspot grit his teeth, scrambling to grasp his magic in his hooves and thrust up into it as he felt his end nearing. Hot and cold lightning was filling his stomach, attached by a chaotic tether to his cock that was soon to overload.
Oh, such a perfect being.
Such a beacon of all that was right in the world.
Oh, Panacea...
Sunspot groaned luxuriously as he erupted into his magical construct, stomach tensing and untensing as he came heavily while images of pale lilac fur and dewy amethyst eyes danced in his mind.
The peach furred unicorn levitated a towel to his gathered leavings, encapsulating them in it before tossing it into the laundry hamper by his door.
Immediately a wave of disgust washed over him, snuffing out any joy from Sunspot's afterglow. To have used Panacea's image in his fantasies felt wrong, but it was the only way she would ever be his.
He lay on his bed for just a little longer, staring up at the ceiling as his breath evened out.
Every piece had to fall back into place. His breathing, the blush on his face, his cock back into its sheath, his mind. It all had to settle back to its designated default, then Sunspot would be ready to go about his day.
Closing the door to his dorm room behind him, Sunspot brushed a stray fur on his chest down and trotted down the hall with purpose in each clicking step. There was much to do today, and he intended to make good time on his schedule.
He levitated a checklist in front of his face as he weaved around a gryphon and pegasus conversing, rather rudely in the middle of the hall might he add. It was as if they had no regard for the others around them!
Sunspot frowned at his list, checking over it one more time before startling as he noticed an unaccounted for gap in his schedule. A gap that lengthened and grew wider until the paper split apart into two halves that fluttered to the ground like a pair of dead butterflies.
"Woah there, Sunny!" The pearl white unicorn that had very intentionally sliced his list in half was rubbing a shoulder that Sunspot had very obviously not bumped into, "You should watch where you're going, you might cause an accident!"
Alabaster Cuffs, with his well manicured white coat and platinum blond mane that always somehow had a glossy sheen to it.
A huffy noble that didn't even appreciate the fact that he was allowed to walk the hallowed halls of Harmony University. Son of Prince Blueblood and some model named Diamond Silk, not that it mattered. With their parents both holding rank in Canterlot, even if it was in different areas, this was far from their first meeting.
"Aren't you a couple years too late to act the part of high-school bully? You missed your chance." Sunspot's tone took a scornful edge as he collected his halved schedule, shuffling it into a stack before his magical grasp was invaded by an outside sky blue aura that slapped them back to the ground.
"Hey, hey, heeey," Alabaster trotted forwards and slung a foreleg over Sunspot's shoulders, "Sunny-Boy, I'm just trying to help you! Besides, I didn't swing by just to give you safety advice!"
The stallion tapped his chin as Sunspot fought back a growl, then clicked his hoof against the hardwood floor as if he'd been struck by a sudden thought. "Now wait a minute! That was exactly why I was here!"
He offered Sunspot a bright, too white grin, "This tidbit is unrelated to your poor sense of direction, so listen up!"
Sunspot tensed as Alabaster's muzzle brushed against his ear, the sickening smoky vanilla scent that he always wore was overpowering this close. Whatever he had to say, he'd better spit it out before his reek gave Sunspot a headache.
"A little breezie told me that you've got eyes for a certain lilac healer-"
An enraged whinny escaped Sunspot's mouth before Alabaster's blue magic discreetly clamped his lips back together, the unicorn even tsked at him.
"Now now, Sunny. You aren't special, plenty of ponies out there that'd wanna hit that. But that's not what this is about," Alabaster nudged him forwards, releasing his lips from his magic and practically dragging the other unicorn along.
"This is just me, as your friend, why...we're practically brothers!" Alabaster made sure to put emphasis on the last word, eliciting a snort from his unwilling companion. "This is me letting you down easy by telling you that you should give up, there's plenty of fish in the sea for you out there! I'm just not seeing any purple scales."
Oh he already knew that Panacea was untouchable in the holiest of senses, but the vulgar way that Alabaster talked about her, the daughter of the most amazing pony in all of Equestria, sent Sunspot's blood aflame.
He was talking about a literal goddess in such a manner! Talking about her like a common whorse who meant nothing beyond a quick and dirty jerk off session.
But wasn't that what you literally just did?
Sunspot dug his hooves into the ground, forcing him and Alabaster to a stop.
That wasn't just blind lust! That was devotion! That was worship! The disgusting one here was the stallion standing next to him. He didn't need to hear it from that charlatan's filthy mouth what he already knew.
"If you are done, I have a lecture to attend," His words grit through his teeth, which were only a few frayed nerves away from gnashing down on Alabaster's neck if he did not remove himself from Sunspot's presence.
"I'm giving you a lecture now."
That did it.
Jerking away from the other stallion, the thoroughly riled unicorn cast a hateful glare in his direction and opened his mouth to deliver a sharp retort.
What came instead was a beastial roar that rattled the stained glass windows and sent several students bolting from the hall.
One of which was Alabaster Cuffs.
Before he turned the corner, Sunspot could see the frantic whites of his eyes and the way his well groomed fur bristled liked an alarmed hedgehog. He had to admit, it was a satisfying sight.
"See ya, Alabastard~"
The creature now flanking him was a pony in a sense of the word.
He had an equine head, back hooves and an overall pony shaped body. But that ponish head bore two horns, one larger one with a smaller twin nestled behind it, and the connected neck was framed with a silvery mane lashed through with ice blue.
His short powder blue coat faded down to cream on his muzzle and underside. Higher up, stripes in a darker shade of blue streaked over his frame. Feline paws gripped the floorboards with unsheathed claws, and at the other end a dark blue scorpion tail curled warningly over his back.
Mephistopheles Lulamoon. A family friend, his once childhood friend and now a mark on his already less than pristine record.
"I didn't need your help, least of all your brutish methods." Sunspot hoped he didn't look as startled as he felt. He could feel eyes on him now, standing flank to flank with this disruptive hooligan. Judging him.
Stepping away from the manticorn, Sunspot collected his bifurcated paper and tucked it into his satchel, making sure to avoid eye contact.
"Mad you had to get your tail saved again by a 'beastly mongrel', Sunspot?" Mephistopheles purred, baring his sharp fangs in a grin as he stepped on Sunspot's tail.
"You did not save me, you caused a scene and embarrassed both of us. I'm late, so if you'll excuse me." The unicorn jerked his tail free and shot a quick glare before taking his leave at a brisk pace.
Mephistopheles watched Sunspot trot away before rolling his eyes.
His sensitive ears had picked up some of the conversation between his ex-friend and Alabaster, none of it was news to him though.
Ever since they were foals it had been obvious to everyone but Panacea and Sunspot that the peach furred unicorn had the hots for her. In a weird, kind of borderline manic way. Mephistopheles wasn't the picture of perfect mental health himself, but that boy had issues.
Speaking of issues, he figured it was about time he made himself scarce before he got slapped with a noise complaint.
Other students gave the manticorn a wide berth as he stalked through the halls, those of the more prey aligned persuasion especially. The ones that weren't suddenly very interested in their conversations or specks on the wall were those who had the guts to watch him walk by with tense suspicion in their eyes.
Quite frankly, he preferred that over being ignored entirely.
Alas, Mephisto was used to being the odd and oft feared one of the bunch. If it wasn't the tail, it was the claws or fangs. And, it would be a lie to say he'd never used his more frightening aspects to his advantage.
Case in point, scaring off that balless coward Alabaster. Sunspot would have escaped his grasp eventually, but from where Mephisto had been observing it had started to get sad around a minute into the grilling. When he stepped in, it was honestly more for his own benefit than Sunspot's.
Mephisto's chitinous tail curled in thought as he passed by the grand doorway that lead out to the courtyard and into the freedom of Ponyville.
Technically, he was to be attending his own lecture. The same as Sunspot, not that the esteemed son of the Starlight Glimmer and Sunburst would have known. Not since he'd decided to keep to the company of more respectable ponies.
Yeah, he didn't especially want to be in a room for two hours with Mr Perfect.
Veering into the direction of the doors, Mephisto's canary yellow magic twisted the knobs and flung them open with an ostentatious shower of sparks that announced his departure for all who were nearby to see it.
The moment his paws touched the ground, he was off with the wind whipping through his mane and dust at his heels. A few heads turned his way in mild interest before he leapt at one of the walls framing the massive gate to campus grounds.
Yellow magic touched the bottom of his paws and hooves as they made contact with the brick, allowing him to stick and run vertically upwards.
When Mephisto reached the top, he balanced on the ornately carved stone railing and swept his eyes over the grounds. There wasn't much happening with it being peak time for classes, it was when he spotted a flurry of movement below that things got interesting.
A purple alicorn was trotting with purpose towards the private sector of the campus where Twilight Sparkle's personal residence was. The coat was too pale to be the friendship princess herself, which meant it was Panacea.
What tickled Mephisto's interest was how resolute the normally demure alicorn was.
That and the acrid tinge of adrenaline and fear that mixed in with her scent. Perhaps it was a manticore thing, but if there was one emotion that Mephistopheles knew by scent alone then it was fear.
Sitting down on the fence, the manticorn's tail curled into a question mark as it hung off the edge below him.
Now what could have the Princess of Healing so spooked?
Doing her best to keep her magic steady, Panacea formed it into the shape of a key and unlocked the sturdy wooden door to her family's dwelling.
So far, so good. This was a good first step. Now she just had to enter the house. Her home. Where she lived.
"HISSSSSSSS"
Panacea screeched in shock as a blur of violet shot in front of her face, streaks of cerise following in its wake before hanging like alien fruits at the end of dusky blue vines.
"Morning Star! That wasn't funny!" She stomped a hoof at her younger brother, glaring at him as he hung upside-down on the other side of the door.
"You looked pretty funny to me!" Morning Star wheezed, swaying side to side in mirth before his body came aglow with cherry blossom pink magic that pulled him away from his perch.
Panacea for a split second considered dropping him to the ground, but her kinder nature won out. Instead she gently placed him onto his hooves to the side, making sure to squint her clear displeasure at the younger pony and his choice of greeting.
"Enough out of you, where's mother?" She sighed, the beginning of a stress headache was already pulsing to life at her temples. Morning Star was her brother and she loved him, but he was also a rowdy teen who couldn't read the room to save his life. She didn't have the mental fortitude to deal with that and a long charging confrontation.
"Wow, mother?" Morning Star mocked in a fake posh accent as Panacea stepped fully inside and wiped her hooves on the door mat. "What'd she do, take your succulents away? Mom's in the library, as usual."
She could feel her annoyance further bubbling when he trotted alongside her on her way to the family's library. Like a shark smelling blood in the water, her brother could tell something interesting was about to happen. Something interesting that she had to do alone, without nosy siblings breathing over her shoulder.
When she reached the door to the library, Panacea couldn't stop her limbs from locking in place. Just behind that door was the mare that had given birth to her and raised her all these years, never once giving her reason to doubt her true intentions or love.
But now she was more of a stranger than Blue Moon had felt, like some bad dream wearing her mother's skin. But it was her, within the span of a day the mother that she'd always known had become ill fitting in the young alicorn's memory of her. Too big to fit in her body, but also skewed like a square trying to fit into a circle.
Gathering up all of the courage that she had in her body, Panacea pushed past the invisible barrier that her fear had placed in front of her. Wading through and feeling the phantom webs of it cling and drag with each step, but she did not falter, and eventually they broke and clung to her quivering sides. Not gone, but not impeding any longer.
Before Morning Star could follow her into the library, she slammed the door and locked it before putting a sound dampening spell on it as well.
"Mm-"
Her voice died in her throat when she saw Twilight's lavender form leaned over a reading table, reading glasses slid to the end of her nose and on the verge of falling off. She hadn't even heard her or the door slamming, whatever she was reading it must have had her entire attention.
"Mom." Finally, her tongue was working again. "I need to talk to you about something, it's...it's important."
"That's nice, sweetie. Make sure to put the mandolin in with the chocolate milk..."
She was really into that book, huh?
Panacea gripped the book in her magic and closed it, even having the mercy to fold the bookmark in place before she levitated it away from her distraught mother.
"I really need to talk to you!"
That was enough to catch Twilight's attention now that book was out of the way, her expression softened when she saw how uneasy her daughter looked.
"Sorry, Pan. I was so caught up in that book...what's wrong?"
What wasn't wrong? That was a whole laundry list that they had to roll out and go over together. The question was how to approach it now that she had her mother's full attention. Should she ease into it? How would one ease into asking about their incestuous origins?
Maybe the best option was to be open and honest. To just rip the bandage off and face it all head on until it evened out. Both options had the chance to go horribly wrong. Casually slipping into it would give her too many tempting opportunities to back out. Realistically she knew it would be hard to keep herself on a steady course if she kept seeing escape routes. So maybe, just maybe...
"I know about you and Shining Armor. I know about..."
Silence. She couldn't bring herself to say it.
Pop!
The brief but dizzying sensation of a teleportation spell was familiar, but even so, Panacea hadn't been expecting it. This exacerbated her sense of vertigo and she stumbled forwards a few steps before righting herself again.
What was not familiar, was their surroundings. Wherever Twilight had telephoned them, it wasn't any place that Panacea knew.
All around them crystalline walls rose up into the darkness of a cavernous ceiling. They had a glossy, reflective sheen that despite their dark coloration gave a sense of hidden color. Something about it was beautiful but ominous, like the place held onto things that ponies long had forgotten.
"Where are we?"
"What exactly did you mean when you said you knew about me and Shiny?"
Somehow the pet name made Panacea's stomach twist unpleasantly. Was that the nickname given to a sibling or a lover? And if Twilight's reaction was anything to go by then she definitely knew exactly what her daughter was talking about.
Wherever they were, it was somewhere they were completely alone. Maybe that would make this easier.
"I read the journal, the one where..." Panacea faltered, huffed and then lashed her tail in irritation. Just say it! "Sh-Shining Armor is my father! When were you going to tell me?"
Twilight's face was almost pale enough to be a mirror of her daughter's. Her jaw worked, opening and shutting her mouth a few times before setting with a full body shiver. She looked like a lost foal who'd realized that they had taken a wrong turn and were now deep in some unknown forest. Which wasn't far off.
Slowly, she sat and placed her head in her hooves, pressing against her brow and massaging it like she always did when she ran into a particularly hard problem.
"But how did you...that journal had a magical lock on it, did you forcebreak one of my wards?" Twilight's lack of an answer ruffled the younger alicorn's feathers, she was more upset about being caught than she was anything else!
"All I did was open the book, I thought it was something else!" Panacea couldn't help but snip in reply. This was not how she imagined this going, the bar wasn't especially high but this was frustrating in a different way. She'd thought, even after everything, that her mother was better than this.
Twilight had always been sacrosanct to her daughter. A being that always held all the answers to her worries and fears, the mare who was always there to dry her tears and smooth things over.
Mother was god in the eyes of her child, so why was Twilight suddenly so very mortal?
"I'm an idiot," Twilight groaned woefully and lifted her face to finally meet Panacea's eyes. "That journal was sealed with a lock that only reacts to the genetic makeup of my magical signature, and you're my daughter."
"Unfortunately."
The friendship princess looked hurt at that, her ears flattening further against her skull and her lips pressing together tightly.
Panacea felt a wisp of regret but cleared it with a mental wave, her head had to stay clear. If she was going to feel anything, it was going to be determination or righteous anger for how Twilight was handling this. She couldn't keep deflecting forever!
"Talk to me! Forget about the journal!" The younger alicorn's command came out more like begging, her voice breaking as she took a step towards Twilight. "Why? And did you ever intend to tell me? Did you expect me to go my whole life without ever finding out?"
Twilight sighed deeply, lowering her hooves to the ground and hesitantly meeting her daughter's eyes.
"Oh Pan, if anypony deserves an explanation, it's you," She admitted, voice softer now. She sounded defeated.
"I…we. We didn't mean for it to go that far, we were in too deep and I was just so curious. I wasn't thinking straight, and all I could think about was if my theory was correct." Twilight fiddled with her hooves, lightly clicking them together as she spoke. "We were playing with more than our own lives, I knew that even back then. I guess in the moment I just, I just didn't care."
The older alicorn's face twisted with shame and sadness as Panacea met her gaze. Hurt, betrayal...everything she never hoped to ever see from her own child reflected back at her. And she deserved it, she did. That didn't make it hurt any less.
"Shining and I go back much further than you, we'd just been careful until then. It was selfish of us, but we had titles and reputations to uphold.
It was I who did the convincing, he was unsure and it took months of wearing him down before he agreed to uhm...mate with me during my next heat. We were very, ah, thorough. With fertility and virility spells, even some very specific stretches from an old Saddle Arabian book.
When I began showing, the official story was to be that you were the result of in vitro fertilization, from an anonymous donor. A bit surprising for a princess but the curiosity would have died down over time."
Panacea was silent as Twilight explained her origin, face an unreadable mask beyond the occasional twitch of emotion. She wanted to hear whatever her mother had to say, no matter how unsavory.
"Shining broke before you were even born, and told Cadence," Twilight continued, "He felt guilty for his part in it, and his betrayal of Cadence. She's a good pony, and we...we shouldn't have done that to her.
He told her, and she told Celestia and Luna. Then it was chaos.
I had to beg to keep you. They thought I had gone completely mad, that I couldn't be trusted to look after myself let alone a possible alicorn foal.
Panacea, honey, please believe me when I say that no matter how you came to be that the moment I felt you alive inside of me you've been loved. You mean so much more to me than proving something!"
Twilight's voice broke and she hiccuped, her dark purple eyes were quickly growing watery with tears. Her wings wrapped around herself, hugging tightly to the shivering pony.
The desire to approach her mother was strong, it was in Panacea's nature to come to the aid of those suffering. But her hooves were rooted to the ground. It felt wrong to not comfort Twilight, but in that moment the thought of being close to her felt too bright and raw. Like if she touched her, she would come away burned.
What could she even say? She didn't forgive her for hiding all of this, didn't think things were going to magically be okay and her sense of trust in her mother was shattered.
Panacea didn't want to soothe Twilight with a lie, even if she hated to see such despair only a few hoofsteps away. The kindest thing she could do for the both of them right now was to listen, without interrupting. She and her mother were both flighty creatures by nature, and every opportunity to veer away or flee was temptation she wasn't sure that Twilight would be able to resist.
"Sorry," Twilight sniffed and gave her head a clearing shake, "I'm so sorry. This went way beyond an already immoral relationship with Shining Armor."
She knew what the older princess was going to say, it had been on her mind even before this confrontation. When Panacea was old enough to recognize what she was, and process what it meant. And at her brother's birth, even her younger self had waited with baited breath to hear about her new sibling.
Twilight just had to say it.
"Until Flurry Heart, every alicorn has had a choice in their transformation. She was an outlier, an in the end happy accident. But you, you never even had a choice."
The way her voice echoed off of the cavern walls was haunting. It felt to Panacea like every word was coming from multiple directions, distorting and strengthening to strike her in the chest with phantom claws.
They were almost there, nearly to the point. It wouldn't be anything that either of them didn't know, but both needed to hear the words spoken aloud.
"We don’t make gods lightly. To ascend has always been a great honor and sacrifice, and never something a pony so young should have to consider. I was so caught up in it all, I didn't think about how I was giving you an eternity to resent me for it..."
And there it was.
Panacea closed her eyes, inhaling deeply before letting it out with a long and slow exhale. There were a number of things that she found wrong with the entire situation, but Twilight had years to mentally list off every little thing that her actions had sent lurching into motion.
She took another step towards Twilight, then another. And eventually came to sit beside the taller alicorn, who seemed surprised at the closeness.
A pale lilac wing outstretched and rested around her mother's back, the gradiented lavender tips and heart-like barring near the end of each feather were almost lost to the light of the glowing gemstones embedded in the walls.
Wrapped as they were around Twilight, they could almost be protective runes.
"I don't resent you. But I'm not sure if I'm ready to trust you again just yet either." Panacea's voice was gentle, but certain in its intent. She had no reason to lie to Twilight, especially not now.
Things would be different for a long time between them. Between her uncle and her as well.
This certainly explained the extravagant birthday gifts he would send from the Crystal Empire.
"This was hard for you to talk about, I can see that and I do appreciate you being willing to say any of it." She leaned her head against the lavender fur of Twilight's shoulder, eyes misting over despite herself.
"We have a lot of work ahead of us, mom..."
"You teleported us to Canterlot!?"
Once the mother and daughter both had a good cry down in the crystalline caves, Twilight had led them out through a series of winding tunnels to open air. Along the way she had pointed out various rock formations and structures, explaining how they had formed and the history of the cave.
It almost felt like a tour.
And then once they were out, the scenery began to look very familiar. Familiar enough, as they walked on, that Panacea's voice rose in shock.
Twilight had teleported them all the way below Canterlot. And now after a hike back to civilization and some quick freshening up, they sat at a small restaurant hungrily scarfing down a variety platter of fried honey glazed carrot sticks, smoked oatburger sliders and grilled sour-sweet plum halves.
Neither of them noticed the other diners doing their best to not stare at two princesses chowing down like a couple of wild animals, and even if they had they likely wouldn't have cared. The entire day so far had been exhausting, physically and mentally. So if they wanted to eat a little less elegantly, it was at this point their right.
"It was the first place I could think of where we would be able to talk completely alone," Twilight sheepishly replied, levitating a napkin to wipe a bit of grease from her lips. At the second dab, the pale cloth faltered and fell over her plate.
"Are you alright?" Panacea blinked in surprise, levitating the cloth to the side of the plate and folding it in half.
"The spell took a lot out of me, moving us both that far and all. I just need some time to recharge and I'll be back to normal," The older alicorn assured, waving a dismissive hoof.
Her daughter hummed, nodding in understanding and taking a sip of her strawberry tea. Even her healing magic couldn't fix an overexertion of the thaumaturgic variety. Just like a sprained limb there were things one could do to ease the process, but rest was the most effective medicine.
It was amazing that Twilight had even managed it to begin with. Element of Magic her mother may be, but such a long distance teleportation spell could have killed your average unicorn if it were attempted. Nevermind bringing along an extra.
"We should probably let everyone know where we are when we get out of here," Panacea commented suddenly.
The last place they had been seen was a locked library, before disappearing into nothing. Oh colt. Yeah that was going to be alarming a few hours after the fact.
Twilight seemed to think so, as she jolted up with her mouth half full. "Schooth!"
Sighing, Panacea waived the waitress over to request a bag and box for their leftovers. She left the nice mare a hefty tip and made her way over to her mother who was trotting in place at the restaurant entrance anxiously.
"Oh shoot, oh shoot, oh shoot, oh-" Twilight was whispering the words like they were a mantra. It was amazing how a pony as smart as her could forget the very obvious flaws and repercussions of her decisions.
Oh wait.
No. There was no point in continuing that spiteful way of thinking. Panacea would allow herself to feel what she must, but past a certain point she would begin sabotaging herself if she kept that up..
"Dad will figure it out and keep the missing posters from going up, relax," She soothed, nudging her mother in the shoulder.
Twilight bristled in surprise, looking at her with wide eyes before her mind began sorting itself and she nodded. "Oh, still...we probably shouldn't linger long. I have a meeting with Mayor Mare at 8 am tomorrow!"
They were nearing the Canterlot train station now, and could already see a larger than usual crowd gathered in front of it. They looked angry.
"Calm down everypony! I understand that schedules and lives have been disrupted but we're working as fast as we can!" The station master held a loudspeaker in his magic, standing above the crowd on a ladder. Whether that was to better project his voice or to keep himself out of hoof's reach of the mob, Panacea couldn't tell.
"What's going on?" Twilight asked a nearby pony, a peachy pink stallion who seemed like one of the calmer ponies in the crowd.
"A part of the track further out has been damaged, right at a critical switching point for several destinations! And to make it worse a swarm of migratory flash bees is passing through, so the repair team is being held back!" He stomped a hoof and turned to the lavender alicorn, flinching in shock as he realized who had addressed him. "Your highness," He added and quickly dropped into a bow.
Twilight gave a dry smile in return and motioned for him to rise, "There's no need for that, thank you for the information. "
She turned to Panacea with a sigh, "I guess I won't be making it to that meeting..."
"We might not even be making it home tonight," Panacea added tiredly. Canterlot wasn't terribly far from Ponyville, but it was far enough that she knew neither of them had the energy to fly all the way home. Especially with how strained her mother was after her long distance teleportation
"Well." Twilight gave the sun's position a quick glance, finding that they didn't have long before the sun began to dip towards the horizon. "It's been awhile since we've visited your godmothers, it's a bit short notice but I think they'd be happy to see you."
The thought of facing Celestia and Luna while wielding this new knowledge was oddly daunting. They'd been nothing but kind and doting all her life, but Panacea couldn't stop the now familiar prickle of doubt in the back of her mind.
Before she could overthink it, however, the young alicorn deflated. She was too tired to go down another doubt spiral today. The princesses had never shown themselves to be cruel or wary of her, if they were going to suddenly side eye her now then there were other issues going on. "I suppose, I just hope we aren't imposing."
For the second night in a row, Panacea would be sleeping in a bed not her own. With the emotional turmoil that she'd undergone the past two days, it felt like she was on a long journey back to her own room. Where she could snuggle under her own blanket, surrounded by familiar things and just...decompress.
