The Talk
“Well yeah, though it don’t mean much if they don’t know what their doin,” Applejack lazily dismissed Rarity’s comment with a wave of her hoof. “Believe me, its like goin to a concert with a band that tries ta hide their lousy playin by bein real loud.”
The whole library was silent as Applejack’s statement echoed around the room. The group was left temporarily speechless, their attention completely on the farmer. “What?” Applejack glanced around in mild confusion.
Rainbow Dash was the first to speak up “Wait, wait, wait. You mean to tell me that...”
“That ah actually got some?” Applejack deadpanned.
“Way to go Jackie! Anypony I know? If so I think I should throw a party for both of you!” Pinkie giggled.
Applejack tapped a hoof to her chin. “Uhh, you wantin tha most recent? Either way I don’t think ya know them. Wouldn’t really be surprised if ya did.”
Rarity’s face was slightly flushed as she could only stare in disbelief at her friend. “You don’t mean to say that you have been with several stallions? I didn’t think that you were the kinda pony that would um...” the fashionista trailed off, trying not to look directly at Applejack.
"...What? Easy?" Applejack glared daggers at her. "...Ah will have you know that I don't just 'get ta bed' for any ol' stallion that walks up and says a few lines!" she growled. "Ah do have standards, ya know.”
“I...um I never meant to imply that you were...promiscuous. I just didn’t expect you to be the kind of pony that would try and get around. No offense.”
Applejack just sighed rubbing the back of her neck. “Well ah guess ah can’t blame ya too much. Never really talked too much about mah personal life,” she started chuckling a bit “though is it really that much of a surprise? Ah mean have ya looked at how big mah family is! There is a mighty good reason fer that.”
Rarity was speechless. She blushed at her friend's candidness, and was chagrined by Pinkie Pie, who was rolling in an irreverent fit of laughter beside her.
"I still don't believe this," Dash put in over Pinkie's guffaws. "You're one of the youngest here besides me, and you got laid before all of us!"
“Well, maybe not all of us,” Pinkie giggled pulling herself up off the floor, while giving a rather suggestive look.
The room went silent once more. “Ya know ah didn’t really see that comin, but I can’t say ahm all that surprised.”
“You too Pinkie? For pete’s sake, when did this happen?”
“Oh it happens every time I have one of superduper ultra-special private Pinkie Pie parties, of course!”
Rarity, mostly on reflex, began to inch away from her pink friend. A look of shock, and something else not quite identifiable. “Y...you...,” her voice seemed to fail her as she just sat there, completely aghast at her friend’s revelation.
“Its a lot of fun Rarity!” Pinkie hooked an arm around the flustered unicorn, “I can totally hook you up sometime if you want! There are plenty of stallions or mares right here in Ponyville that would do anything to get a piece of your pie!”
“Yeah Rarity, if anypony here needs to get laid it’s probably you,” Dash couldn’t help but start snickering at her uptight friend looks of horror and embarrassment.
“This is perfect!” Twilight exclaimed, happily grabbing a notepad and pen in her magic “I have never been able to talk to anypony about this! Now I have two of my closest friends to interview with first hand experience!”
Rainbow Dash looks at Twilight with a barely contained smile "I bet you'd take notes WHILE doing it."
Twilight only shot Dash a brief glare before turning back to AJ. “So do you think I could get some info from you?”
Applejack fidgets in her seat a bit “Ah guess ya can ask me anythin Twi, but ah thought you woulda talked to yer parents bout this kinda thing before now.”
Twilight blushed a bit before going back to her notepad, “well I tried, but I got too nervous. I didn’t want to think too hard about my parent’s well, ya know.”
“Its perfectly natural Twilight!” Pinkie bounced happily around Twilight, “Not too mention alot of fun. So go ahead ask us anything!”
“Well first I should probably ask how many you two have been with.”
“Well if ah remember correctly ah have had two,” Applejack tapped on her chin as if deep in thought. She peaks up a bit before turning back to Twilight, “Wait we gonna count oral? If so then make it three.”
Twilight simply nodded, jotting down Applejack’s statement. “Either one works. Now that I know what you have done I can better figure out what questions to ask,” without even looking up from her notepad Twilight continued “what about you Pinkie?”
“I’ve lost count.”
“Lost count?” Rarity could only stare in mild horror at the party pony.
“I never thought it was that important.” Pinkie merely shrugged it off.
“Never thought what was important?” Twilight questioned, glancing up from her notepad.
“Keeping score,” Dash chuckled
“Silly Dashie, its not a hoofball game.”
“Can you at least give me an estimate?”
“Umm, lets see there’s....” Pinkie groaned a bit “I really shouldn’t give out names! That’s private!” She sat back on her haunches and scratched her chin for a few moments. “OHOHOH!! I KNOW! I’ll use aliases for all of them!”
Rainbow raised an eyebrow and began to protest “Couldn’t you just....” before being cut off by Pinkie putting her hoof in Dash’s mouth.
“shhhhhhhh I’m trying to think of good naaaames” pinkie whispered. “Let’s see....” she begins to count on her hooves as dash tries to wriggle pinkie’s hoof out of her mouth “there’s Hokey Smokes, Big Red, Girl on Fire, Captain Blue, Princess Pretty Pastel and...”
Twilight interrupted with a giggle “So I am guessing you have the widest range of experiences. Can you describe what it was like?”
“Well it’s different for Stallions and Mares,” Pinkie put a hoof to her head in thought “which do you want to know about?”
Twilight glanced up at Pinkie, her face a mixture of shock and confusion. “You’ve had both?”
“Well duh. Of course I have. I like making ponies happy, and I can’t make as many ponies as possible happy if I limit myself to just one gender.” Pinkie beamed in the same upbeat tone she might use to describe what kind of decorations she might use.
“That, that is so unladylike,” Rarity flipped her mane trying to regain her composure “I can’t believe you two could be so flippant about something so personal.”
“Oh come on Rare, its all in good fun. Sometimes a mare just needs a little bit more then ‘self-service’ from time ta time.”
“Sides even I know you at least do that Rarity,” Rainbow Dash was barely holding herself as she rounded on the prissy pony “or have you forgotten the time I accidently found your stash,” she started giggling uncontrollably “of ‘toys’.”
Rarity was practically glowing now from her blush. Even Applejack couldn’t help but start to laugh as well “Ahm sorry Rare, ah know ah shouldn’t be laughin at ya like that.”
“Ooh ooh,” Pinkie bounced happily up to Rarity her face split by a massive smile, “you have toys too? We should totally compare our collections, just to see if you have something I don’t!”
Dash couldn’t contain herself any longer. She rolled on the floor laughing so hard she could barely breath. “Oh...oh Celestia...I can’t....I can’t take much more, hahahaha!”
“Even better,” Twilight was scribbling furiously on her notepad “I didn’t know you could have a wide variety of such implements. One of you two have to show me them, my knowledge on these things is so limited.”
“Sure thing Twi! Just come right on over to Sugarcube Corner I can totally set you up!” Pinkie beamed.
Applejack was scratching her head, “how did we even get on this topic ta begin with?”
Rarity looked like she was about to interject, when she turns to Fluttershy. The meek pony had been hiding behind her mane the whole conversation. Yet now she seemed to be trying to say something, just barely peeking out from behind her mane so that she could be heard. “What is it Fluttershy? I’m sorry if we have bothered you with...” Rarity started softly before the pegasus found her voice.
“I...um, I’ve been with a pony too. Um, she was very nice,” Fluttershy blushed slightly and nervously hoofed the floor.
Immediately everything stopped. Rarity fainted, Pinkie was rendered totally speechless with her jaw hanging open. Twilight’s magic stopped, her pen and pad clattering to the floor. Applejack looked like she just couldn’t decide between being proud of Fluttershy or shocked.
“OH COME ON!” Dash cried, before burying her face in her hooves.