Pinkie Pie and Princess Luna bond over their mutual mental disorders on a diplomatic mission.
Princess Luna must go on a diplomatic mission to the isolated city of Marem, and is tasked with choosing a suitable traveling partner to accompany her on the way. She does not choose the talented and magically-inclined Twilight Sparkle, nor the quick and loyal Rainbow Dash, nor even the strong and talented Applejack. Instead, she surprises everypony by taking Pinkie Pie with her and leaving without a word. Not even Celestia can guess the reasoning behind her sister's choice.
For whatever reason, Princess Luna and Pinkie Pie set off to find and negotiate an agreement with the mysterious community of unicorns located beyond the borders of Equestria. What they find there will impact not only Equestria's stance on foreign policy, but the very lives of the two ponies at the center of it all.
The truth was, Luna craved adventure. She was not one of those ponies with an addiction to adrenaline; she had an addiction to importance. Life in Canterlot--or, to take a leap, anywhere in Equestria--didn't bore her by any means, but it did depress her. She may have been a princess, but she was not the princess, and even now she couldn't help but resent that her subjects respected Celestia so much and Luna so little. But, no, she couldn't think that. Not again.
This was why Luna needed to leave. She needed to go on an adventure, and not just any adventure. One where she was the heroine. She didn't have to be a princess as long as she was a heroine, and she was most certainly not one now. She would gladly give up her title for the chance to be an adventurer, to defy death and earn the love and respect of ponies the way no monarch could. Not even her sister. There she went again. She had to stop comparing herself to Celestia, or else Nightmare Moon would steal her sense again. Good luck earning ponies' respect after that debaucle happens again.
"Princess?" Luna raised an eyebrow, turning to face the royal guard who had addressed her. He was a bat-winged pegasus, one of her own, with a deep and sonorous voice. Immediately the alicorn adopted a countenance of unconcerned haughtiness, her head raised high into the air.
"Yes? What is it?" she asked sharply, eyes narrowed.
"Her Highness, Princess Celestia, would like to inquire if you are prepared to depart."
Yes. Luna's departure. For a moment the princess's mask of indifference slipped and she smiled, albeit only a bit. "Indeed we are," Luna replied. "Does my sister need anything before we leave?"
"No. She sent me to issue a farewell in her place and to assure you that she will take care of both the sun and moon while you are on her journey," The guard straightened his posture and looked into his employer's eyes. "Your guards bid you farewell as well, Your Highness."
Luna relaxed, again showing just the hint of a smile. "Indeed. Good-bye. Send that message to Celestia--and your fellow guards, if you will."
"Of course," The bat-winged pegasus bowed again before turning away and exiting Luna's study. The alicorn dropped her facade, relaxing and stretching her wings. The window behind her yawned open; usually it was shuttered to stave off the sunlight, but now it was opened wide in preparation for her flight. Honestly, she could simply leave through the castle entrance, but Luna loved showmanship as much as she loved adventure. So she leapt through the opening, the tips of her feathers brushing the sides of the window frame. She didn't like daytime, but she did appreciate the visibility it offered. She didn't dare look down; it was better simply to imagine the denizens of Canterlot on the lowly ground staring in awe at her beauty and grace. She hoped she held up hoof-traffic. Oh, she at least hoped that they were looking at her.
Luna flapped her great wings once, descending ever-so-slightly as she picked up speed. She angled herself to the south; that was approximately the way to Ponyville from Canterlot Castle. Still she didn't dare look down; instead she occupied herself by repeating the name of her soon-to-be traveling companion in her mind, committing it to memory.
Pinkamena Diane Pie. I do hope you are prepared to be a heroine as well.
Ding! The cheery chime echoed through Sugarcube Corner, causing Pinkie Pie's ears to perk up with interest. Abandoning the tedious--albeit fulfilling--task of cupcake decoration that the Cakes had left her with, the party mare bounced into the bakery's lobby. She peered cautiously through the heart-shaped opening in the front door, more out of habit than an actual regard for her own safety, only to see a pair of intense blue eyes staring back at her. She opened the door casually.
"Oh, look! It's Black Snooty!" she cried, her intentions devoid of malice despite the potentially insulting nickname. The alicorn straightened her neck, towering over Pinkie with a glare that would intimidate a less unflappable pony, evidently unamused. Oblivious, Pinkie Pie continued: "Or was it Queen Meanie? I can't believe I didn't give you any more nicknames on Nightmare Night! I'm sorry about that, but I was really distracted by the candy and I was supposed to be entertaining the schoolfoals so I did but then they got all scared so I was like--"
"Pinkamena Diane Pie," intoned Princess Luna, putting a forehoof to the baker's muzzle. "We are afraid that we are not here for a simple chat."
Already, curious ponies had begun to gather around Sugarcube Corner, murmuring to each other about possible reasons for the princess's presence. Lyra Heartstrings suggested the possibility of another parasprite infestation; Raindrops shuddered in response and began listing positive reasons for Luna's visit, more to herself than the other ponies as she tried to calm her nerves; Derpy shouted a nigh-incoherent string of words, only to be shushed by the crowd. Luna was torn between feeling self-conscious and enjoying the attention, but tried to keep her focus on the pink pony. They had only met once before, but Luna knew already that she couldn't turn her back on Pinkie Pie without risk of some nonsensical result.
Pinkie ducked to Luna's side and waved at the crowd before turning her attention back to the matter at hoof. "Ooh, really? How complicated is this chat gonna get? Oh! Should I get dessert?"
"Wait--that's not what we--dessert?" Luna squinted her eyes, trying to follow Pinkie Pie's train of thought. "What purpose could that possibly serve?"
The earth pony giggled, her curly bangs bouncing as she replied, "Well, it's delicious, silly! How could it get more purpose-y than that?!"
Before Luna could protest, she had been pushed into the interior of the bakery, and Pinkie Pie had kicked a hindhoof back to close the door behind them. The murmuring from outside was silenced immediately, though Luna could see through the window that the crowd was still gathered, waiting anxiously for somepony to return from within. "Listen to us, Pinkamena," she reasoned, trying to regain control of the conversation. Pointing a hoof at the spirit of laughter, she said, "We have chosen you to accompany us on a very important journey. You must escort us to the city-state of Marem."
Pinkie pushed her guest into a chair and flitted around Sugarcube Corner's front room, grabbing the ingredients necessary to brew a cup of hot cocoa. "Huh. I've never heard of anyplace called Marem," she remarked, tossing a bag of sugar across the room into a bowl on the kitchen counter. Luna stared at the expertly-thrown sugar, gaping; she knew Pinkamena Diane Pie was a master baker, but she hadn't had any idea that she was a master pitcher as well.
"Oh! Was that a pun?"
Luna stopped, her narrowed gaze snapping to the pink party pony. Something tugged at her heart like a subtle warning notice. She frowned, her voice rising in volume. "Was what a pun?"
Oblivious to the rising tension, Pinkie giggled, "Calling me a pitcher! Because pitchers are used in baking, right?"
"We..." The alicorn's horn glowed as she used her telekinesis to drag Pinkie Pie forcefully across the room and into the chair opposite her. "We did not say that. How did thou...?"
Pinkie scrambled for the oven the moment Luna's magic released her; the princess regained her hold of the earth pony immediately and secured her in place. Pinkie Pie crossed her legs, glaring at Luna with mock-bitterness. "Well, how am I supposed to make you dessert if you don't let me go anywhere?" she whined.
"Tell us," snapped Luna, translucent mane beginning to whip back and forth with intensity. The microscopic stars within surged with light. The alicorn pushed her chair away, standing up to her full height. "How did thou understand what we were thinking?!"
Even Pinkie seemed to understand the gravity of having a temperamental goddess angry with her now, and relaxed a bit, succumbing to the power of Luna's magic holding her in place. "I just guessed!" she insisted, a hint of worry passing into her sapphire eyes. "I'm good at guessing things! My body tells me things, like when something's about to fall or when Gummy's in the tub or when... well, when somepony makes a good pun! You can ask Twilight!"
"Thy body tells thee..." Her captive's description caught her off-guard. Luna released Pinkie, sitting back down as she began pondering the pony's statement, examining it from every angle. No matter what she tried, only one explanation for this phenomenon stood out to her. The princess raised a forehoof to her forehead, biting her upper lip in an uncharacteristic show of worry. "We... we did not know you were so powerful."
Pinkie Pie popped back into shape the moment she was released, returning to her cocoa-preparation as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. Casually she added, "Oh, I'm not powerful at all! I just get these weird little feelings sometimes..."
"Indeed?" Pinkie nodded without looking back, and Luna removed her hoof from her forehead. She was looking at the pink mare with intensity again, but this time it was with mere interest rather than anger or fear. "To be entirely honest," the alicorn admitted, "Similar occurrences happen to us, oh... once in a blue moon, I suppose."
"Now I know that was a pun!" giggled Pinkie.
"Yes. Well..." Luna allowed herself to smile, pleased with her findings. "'Twasn't a joke the first time, however. We were referring to players in an ancient Equestrian sport--those who threw the ball were referred to as 'pitchers.'"
"Ooh."
"Yes."
They sat in relative silence for a good twenty minutes, which was beyond remarkable considering that Pinkie Pie was present. Eventually the party planner returned to the dining table with two mugs of hot cocoa and a hulking pile of brownies. Pinkie ate a majority of the latter snack, with Luna only sampling the chocolate treats sparingly and with small bites. Once the cups were empty and the plate had been licked clean (by Pinkie, of course), the earth pony hopped to her feet, grinning expectantly at Luna.
Luna blinked at her, finding herself even more concerned with silent Pinkie Pie than with the hyperactive version. "Er... yes?"
"Yes? Yes?" echoed Pinkie, hopping from one side to the other in barely-contained excitement. "Are we gonna leave now?"
"Leave?"
"Well, yeah, duh!" cried the spirit of laughter, sticking her tongue out and crossing her eyes in what was apparently the visual supplement to the word "duh." "To this Marem place, right?"
"Oh. Well..." Luna stood up as well; seeing the practically-vibrating Pinkie Pie was making her anxious. "Yes, that would be ideal, but do you not need to bid farewell to your... employers?" She realized she wasn't entirely sure of the Cakes' relation to Pinkie, despite her careful study of Celestia's files on Ponyville census information. "And what of thy friends, Twilight Sparkle and the others?"
"Oh!" Pinkie stopped, looking as surprised as if this were the first time this had occurred to her. Now that Luna thought about it, perhaps it was; Pinkie Pie did seem like a spontaneous little mare. "So, y'mean, we're going to be gone for awhile?"
Luna sighed, all of her anxieties about bringing the presentimentally-gifted pink pony with her returning to her in a great rush. She closed her eyes, massaging her temples with a forehoof. "Yes, Pinkamena Diane. Marem is a remote city-state, approaching a week's journey away, and we shall be staying there for a fortnight at the least."
Pinkie Pie was silent.
"Two weeks," explained Luna.
"Oh." The pink earth pony frowned, staring at the wall with uncertainty.
"Regardless..." Sensing Pinkie's hesitation, Princess Luna began trying to reel her back in for the catching. "While we cannot be entirely forthright at the moment, we assure you that there will be rewards aplenty for your help in this matter. Moreover, I believe you will learn a great deal about your unique power---that is, your premonitions and mind-reading abilities--and perhaps hone it even more as well."
Pinkie still looked unsure. "Uh... maybe you should just take Twilight? She was really curious about my Pinkie Sense. She'd probably love to learn about it!"
"No," Luna stepped forward, her starry mane and tail enveloping Pinkie and casting a blue lens over her vision. Her voice softened, and she leaned forward until both mares were touching noses. "It must be thou, Pinkamena Diane Pie. Please consider my offer."
Pinkie Pie turned her head downwards, and she seemed poised to reply for a moment before dashing out the front door. Luna heard a collective gasp as she tore through the crowd waiting outside, followed by a barrage of worried questions: "What happened, Pinkie Pie?" "Are you okay?" "The princess didn't bring you bad news, did she?" Luna sighed, wrapping her tail around her forelegs. She shouldn't have been so forthright. Ponies of the present were so much more fragile than those of her time.
Before Princess Luna could make a move, however, the puffy-haired pony was back in the room, a pair of oversized sunglasses poised on her snout, four inexplicable flippers on her hooves, and three balloons tied to her tail. "Let's party," she declared, a mad grin pasted on her face.
Luna smiled despite herself. "We shall be back to retrieve you this night. Be prepared by then," she instructed, brushing past Pinkie Pie on her way out of Sugarcube Corner.
"Aye-aye, Princess!" shrieked the unconventional adventurer as Luna spread her wings. The alicorn flew straight upwards, bursting through cloud after cloud before finally stopping her ascent and glancing around carefully. When Luna had confirmed that nopony else was around, she finally relaxed--and burst into laughter.
Shocked and dismayed gasps echoed throughout Sugarcube Corner, tugging at Pinkie Pie's heart and causing her to rethink her journey once again. But she had already promised the princess that she would leave, and she couldn't break that promise. Losing a friend's trust, after all, was the fastest way to lose a friend. Forever.
"Oh, but Pinkie Pie, will you be safe there? In Marem, I mean?" fretted Fluttershy, staring at her friend with wide and imploring eyes. The other four Elements of Harmony were present as well, as were Spike and the Cakes. None of them looked too pleased with the news of Pinkie's departure.
"Well, I sure think so!" offered the party planner, reluctant to look her guests in the eye. Her gaze flitted from nondescript object to nondescript object, from the oven to the stack of plastic cups placed on a nearby table to a dangling streamer to the remains of the cake she had baked to, finally, the floor. "I mean, if I'm with Princess Luna, well... nothing can be safer than hanging out with a super-powerful alicorn, right?"
"But this is a super-powerful alicorn with a temper and a habit of plunging the world into eternal night, remember?" protested Rainbow Dash, her forehooves crossed. "For all we know, this could be some kind of plot!"
"Dash, you're a super-powerful pegasus with a temper and a habit of bein' too danged judgmental," retorted Applejack, kneeing the rainbow-maned athlete. Turning to Pinkie Pie, the farmpony smiled reassuringly, her voice taking on a gentler tone. "Now, don't you worry none, sugarcube. Princess Luna is a perfectly respectable pony--" She took a moment to glare at Rainbow Dash. "--and Ah bet you two'll be safe as houses. We're gonna miss ya, Pink, but we won't stop ya from goin'. We wish ya the best."
The room was silent for a moment, until Rainbow Dash tentatively turned to Applejack. "You really think I'm super-powerful?" The earth pony only rolled her eyes.
"Anyway," intervened Twilight Sparkle. "Applejack's right. I can't even begin to imagine why the Princess chose you as a traveling companion--er, no offense--but it's not my place to question Princess Luna! We'll miss you, Pinkie, but we're really happy for you," The unicorn lost herself for a moment, eyes angled upwards and a slight smile playing across her face as she began to imagine the adventures her friend might experience. "I mean, just think about it! You'll get to be present as the Princess negotiates with the council of Marem--that's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, Pinkie Pie!"
"She's right," Mrs. Cake finally admitted. She stepped forward, putting a hoof on Pinkie's own protectively. "Promise me you'll be careful, darling."
Pinkie nodded, grateful to have such supportive friends. "Thank you, everypony!" she cried earnestly. The Element of Laughter gently took her forehoof out from under Mrs. Cake's, only to throw both forelegs around the plump mare, burying her face in Mrs. Cake's thick mane. "I love you all so much!"
"Well, that was certainly heartwarming," commented a deep voice that didn't seem to match any of the ponies in the room. The tone was not entirely sarcastic, and yet Pinkie Pie could still hear a tinge of bitterness within. Opening her eyes, the unfazed Pinkie hopped up to the newly-arrived alicorn cheerfully as her friends and adoptive parents bowed down before their princess. Luna had apparently teleported into Sugarcube Corner recently, small smoky tendrils of magic radiating off of her horn.
"Princess!" gasped Rarity, she and Twilight the first to discard the pretense of formality. "Pinkie Pie was just telling us about the news, but, oh..." She frowned, hoof kneading the ground with anxiety. "If I had known royalty would be present, I certainly would have worn something more formal..."
"I do not mind," assured Princess Luna, waving a hoof dismissively. Rainbow Dash had to take a step back to avoid being accidentally kicked; by coincidence the princess had teleported in between her and Applejack, who had circled around to be able to address the newcomer directly. "To be entirely honest, it is a bit refreshing to be in such an informal place. The castle in Canterlot can be a bit exhausting in that manner. But never mind that!" Luna cast a vaguely anxious glance out the window, where the sun was just beginning to dip below the horizon. "Pinkamena Diane, it would be preferable if we left soon after nightfall. Are you prepared to depart?"
Pinkie opened her mouth to reply, but was interrupted when Twilight Sparkle took a tentative step forward. "Um, Princess? You wouldn't mind if I asked a few questions first, would you? I mean, it's no big deal, but I've read about Marem before and I'd like to see if I could sort out myth from reality. I mean, some of the things I've read just seem so..."
"Implausible," finished Luna for her. She was smiling, her face genuinely friendly and accommodating this time. She was obligated to bring Pinkamena Diane Pie with her, for the sake of research, but to be honest, she far preferred the relatively quiet and knowledge-seeking Twilight Sparkle. She had retained her positive opinion of the unicorn since the previous Nightmare Night, when Twilight had been one of the only citizens of Ponyville to truly accept her initially. It was something Luna herself probably would not have done in Twilight's place, but then, Luna had the benefit of experience. "We understand. Yes, we have--" She paused and glanced out the window again. "--at least a third of an hour before we and Pinkamena must depart. Question me all you like until then." She sat hesitantly, smiling down at her sister's student.
Twilight Sparkle let out a sigh of relief. "Oh, that's great!" she squealed, prompting an eye-roll from Rainbow Dash. She lay down, placing her forehooves in front of her and looking up at the princess with wide eyes as if listening to a bedtime story. "What should I ask first? Ooh, I've got one! One of my books on Equestrian anthropology mentioned that Marem is populated entirely by unicorns. But surely this must be an exaggeration; I mean, places like Cloudsdale are devoid of unicorns and earth ponies because they simply aren't accessible by pony races other than pegasi. But I can't imagine someplace being accessible only to unicorns. The closest I can imagine is a walled city only accessible via, say, a door similar to that leading into the royal treasury back in Canterlot. But even that door only opens to one exact hornprint--that is to say, Princess Celestia's. But a door like that built to allow in all unicorns..." She seemed to come back to reality now, realizing that she had been speaking nonstop, without pausing to breathe, for two entire minutes. She blushed sheepishly, forcing a grin. "Er, but all of that is just my own speculation. I guess what I'm trying to ask is... are there any ponies there that aren't unicorns?"
Luna gazed intensely at nothing in particular, as if she were trying to see all the way to Marem. "Well," she began. "We have not been to Marem in a very long time; our last visit took place before our... hiatus. But in that time--and, based on what Celestia has told us, now as well--the city was indeed populated exclusively by unicorns. This is not due to a matter of accessibility, however, but rather due to the fact that non-magical beings are simply not tolerated in Marem. The citizenry is not particularly open-minded, unfortunately."
"Wait!" interrupted Pinkie Pie, eyes wide with concern and several strands of hair on her mane going limp sadly. "But... what about me? I'm not a unicorn, and I don't want anypony to hate me!" she cried. Applejack put a forehoof on her shoulders comfortingly.
So fragile... Luna tried to maintain her composure, though she was not very comfortable around overly-emotional ponies. She had a feeling that she would need to adapt if she was going to travel with Pinkie Pie, however. "Er... worry not, Pinkamena Diane! Thou doest not hold the same magical abilities as a unicorn, it is true, yet thou hast a grand ability entirely different. 'Tis not everypony who may predict what will happen in future, and the Maremites shall surely accept this," She was slipping back into her Old Canterlot accent, and it was clear that the other ponies in the room were noticing it. Fluttershy was cowering in the next room, and Luna felt a tinge of guilt for frightening the timid mare.
A lock of Pinkie's hair twirled back into place hopefully. "Really? They'll like me?"
Well, it was entirely possible that the populace of Marem would dislike the fuschia-maned baker, but that would have more to do with her personality than her magical powers or lack thereof. But Luna didn't want her traveling companion to back away at the last minute, so she withheld from voicing this thought. "Yes, surely they will," she responded instead.
Pinkie smiled, the rest of her mane re-curling itself. She opened her mouth to respond but was again interrupted by the chattier-than-usual Twilight Sparkle. "Er, sorry to interrupt," she apologized lamely. "But now that that has been settled, I have one other question that I absolutely need answered. Do you mind?"
"Not at all," assured Luna, either not bothered by or oblivious to the fact that Pinkie Pie had been about to speak. "Go on."
Twilight Sparkle clopped her hooves together in triumph; this time Rainbow Dash was unable to repress a chuckle. "Great! So! I have to ask, is it true that the environment surrounding Marem actually enhances a unicorn's magical ability? I've never heard of a plant like that outside of books on Marem but... oh my, that would simply be fascinating!"
"Enhancing magic!" repeated Rarity reverently, bursting into the conversation. "My, I wonder if I could make my dresses even more beautiful there!"
Seeing his opportunity to catch the alabaster unicorn's attention, Spike jumped in as well. "Even better? Nah, that's impossible, right? Right, guys?"
"Yeah. 'Course," offered Applejack unconvincingly, shooting the lovestruck dragon a snide look.
A polychromatic bolt sprinted to the center of the group, facing down Applejack angrily. "Woah, woah, woah! Wait a minute here! Do you just compliment everypony? Because I took that super-powerful comment seriously, you know that?"
"Oh, Rainbow, Ah swear to Celestia ya're the biggest egomaniac Ah've ever met!"
A tiny voice squeaked through the doorframe, "Psst, Applejack! Be careful!"
The earth pony spun around, squinting her eyes at Fluttershy with confusion. "Be careful doin' what, now?"
"She means using the phrase 'swear to Celestia,'" offered Rarity, running a hoof through her carefully-styled mane. "It's awfully rude, considering you could just as easily swear to our guest here, correct?"
Twilight sighed, facehoofing. "The Princess isn't as sensitive as you think she is, girls, but if you could just be quiet so she could explain--" She picked her head up and turned to Luna, only to find that Luna, in fact, wasn't there. "Huh?" She whipped her head around, surveying Sugarcube Corner. She noted in passing that the Cakes seemed to have fallen asleep on top of each other, having gorged themselves on cupcakes, in the midst of the ponies' conversation with Luna, but didn't bother waking them up. "Princess?" She frowned, realizing that another partygoer had disappeared as well--or, rather, the party planner herself. "Pinkie Pie? Pinkie Pie!"
An innocent giggle cut through the night, momentarily disturbing the spooky atmosphere of the Everfree Forest. "Wow, you left really fast, Princess! Like, Twilight was all 'blah blah blah books blah,' and the Rarity was all... well, she was all something, but then you were all boom and then we were flying through the very fabric of space and time OHMYGOSH--"
"Please be quiet," pled Luna meekly, carrying Pinkie on top of her back as she flew over the canopy of Everfree Forest. Her head hurt; she didn't like it when several ponies just began talking at once like that. In the days before she had ruled Equestria, Luna's dear friend Starswirl had diagnosed her with a psychological condition he called "agoraphobia," and she supposed that was what had taken hold prior to her unannounced teleportation from the farewell party. Since her days with Starswirl (This had, in fact, been before he grew the beard) she had developed enough psychological conditions to forget about the initial one, but it hadn't forgotten about her, apparently. "And we were not 'flying through the fabric of space and time,' as you say. We were flying through the fabric of space. Time had nothing to do with the matter."
Pinkie fell silent, perhaps sensing the alicorn's agitation. She wrapped her forehooves tighter around Luna's neck as she looked back introspectively, spotting the light of Ponyville across the forest. Goodbye, guys, she mouthed, smiling emptily. She wished she had eaten another cupcake before her and Luna's sudden departure. Somehow she doubted that she would be around many parties in the days to come.
Luna had just cleared the last forested vestiges of Everfree when the sun cleared the horizon, prompting her descent. Pinkie, who had been sleeping on and off since the two travelers' departure, raised her head up as the alicorn collided with the ground, her landing surprisingly ungraceful for such a regal pony. Pinkie Pie tightened her hooves' hold on the alicorn's neck until they came to a stop, at which point she rolled off of her winged companion and dug herself happily into the grass. "Aww, I missed the ground," she sighed, yawning.
Luna returned in kind, but where Pinkie Pie had only just awoken, the princess could tell by the light of the dawn that it was time for her to sleep. "Good," she responded curtly, rolling onto her back as well. "For we must take a rest. We are able to easily navigate with the direction of our stars, but in the day, it is more difficult. We would recommend that you try to uphold a nocturnal sleeping schedule, if thou canst."
"Aww, but I just woke up!" protested Pinkie, her hair puffier than usual in the morning. Luna rolled her head over and used Pinkie Pie's mane as a pillow until she identified what she was resting on and rolled her body away from the pink pony. "Can it wait?"
"By all means, but do not stray too far, and be back by nightfall," Luna felt like she was speaking to a child. A pink, surprisingly intelligent child with nigh-boundless untapped powers, but a child nonetheless. "Now, if you will excuse us, we must rest."
With that, the alicorn closed her eyes and folded all four legs under her, letting out a final exhalation before disappearing into the void of sleep. Pinkie Pie smiled at the sight; the juxtaposition of the intimidating and commandeering princess with her vulnerable, almost childlike pose was equal parts amusing and illuminating. Luna thought of Pinkie as an emotionally fragile child, but perhaps they weren't so different after all.
Putting such heavy thoughts behind her, the earth pony turned her back on Luna and took a few hoof steps forward, towards the edge of the Everfree Forest. She had only seen the Ponyville entrance to Everfree, which was a good bit more foreboding than this one. From this point of view, it looked more like a normal, innocent forest; there were no signs of unnatural plant growth, self-determining weather, or even a malformed monster or two. "Oh, but I know better," Pinkie said out loud to the forest. "You're evil, and you're just trying to trick me, aren't you? Well, it won't work!"
Everfree didn't respond.
Pinkie sighed, swinging her head around to get a glimpse at Luna again. The alicorn hadn't moved, still fast asleep on the grass. She wished Luna had warned her earlier that the two would need to sync up their sleeping habits; Pinkie Pie didn't want to be virtually alone all day! She turned back to glare at the forest appraisingly, one eyebrow raised. "So. Looks like it's just you and me, huh?"
When Everfree again kept silent, Pinkie Pie moaned and fell on all four hooves, rolling around in the grass in an aggravated attempt to expend her surplus energy. "Won't you at least try to tempt me with your foresty wiles or something?!" she insisted, jabbing a hoof forward angrily. It was lonely without other ponies around. The young baker momentarily entertained the thought of waking Luna, but decided against it; feigned or not, some of her fear of the princess remained from Nightmare Night.
Pinkie rolled onto her back, staring up at the clear blue sky. Even the rogue weather of the Everfree Forest was calm now; it really was a beautiful day. She looked at Luna again, considering their first meeting--back when the princess had been under the influence of Nightmare Moon. Obviously, Nightmare Moon was a horrible, haughty and evil pony, who may or may not have feasted on the flesh of foals... but for a moment, Pinkie Pie felt a twisted sort of envy for Luna, who would never be truly alone. She stopped herself from wishing for her own real-imaginary friend, but only just barely, and only after considering the possibility that her alter ego would be just as abhorrent as Nightmare Moon.
"Not like they must really be friends, anyway..." she mumbled to herself, gaze traveling upwards to the blazing sun.
Luna stared at the sun, too, its countenance and brightness exaggerated in the fickle not-reality of the alicorn's own dreamland. The sun was Celestia's masterpiece, beautiful in its great simplicity. Luna had crafted her moon with a careful hoof, carving each crater with the diligence and concentration that her impatient sister had never been able to muster. Instead, the goddess of the day had simply brought into existence an enormous conflagration, sending it into her sky and bestowing it with eternal energy... yet, despite Celestia's casual attitude with regard to its creation, ponies continued to view the sun as the ultimate work of art.
The princess of the night shook her head; she knew where this line of thought was going, and she didn't want any of it. Celestia was her sister, not her enemy. "Not any more," she growled through gritted teeth.
An alluring voice swam through the air, its timbre sinuous and subtly edged. "What isn't any more, darling?" It questioned softly. Luna tensed, eyes narrowing as she scoured the landscape for the voice's origin. "You know you can always talk to me, don't you?"
An pony-shaped form began to take shape before the alicorn, its details hidden with dense shimmering fog. The mist was not unlike the ethereal mass that made up Luna's mane, save for its lighter color. Luna shuddered in recognition, but tried to stay stony-faced, with mostly-successful results. She hadn't acquired her masterful poker face by accident, after all; when even a being within Luna herself was prepared to pounce at the first sign of weakness, developing the ability to hide her feelings had become a necessity. "We do not want to talk to you," she spat, her voice devoid of emotion. "You know that."
The fog began to clear, and Luna could begin to make out the striking teal of Nightmare Moon's eyes just inches before her face. "Oh, Luna, my dear..." cooed Nightmare. "You must learn to let things go. I thought it was but a simple spat one thousand years ago, and here you are still holding a grudge today. Oh, what shall I do with you?" Her tone sharpened on the last sentence, and finally Luna was able to see the entirety of her doppelganger's face. Nightmare Moon was glaring, her eyes locked with Luna's.
"You could leave," snapped Luna, a slight amount of fear and anger leaking through her voice. She returned Nightmare Moon's glare forcefully. "Do you not comprehend?! We do not want you!"
"Oh, but you do..." sighed Nightmare Moon. She raised a forehoof and caressed Luna's face; the other alicorn recoiled on contact. "You refer to yourself as 'we' as if it is a formality, but it isn't, now, is it? 'We' does not refer to you, and you alone. It refers to us, doesn't it?"
Her eyes stared. They bored into Luna's own.
Knowingly.
Hauntingly.
And, terrifyingly, with understanding.
There was no point in hiding her feelings. No use for Luna's poker face.
Nightmare knew them.
She knew her jealousy.
She knew her inadequacy.
She knew her loneliness.
Her longing, her yearning, her barely-hidden terror of the modern world that had left her behind.
She knew everything about Luna.
Everything.
"It..." Luna was suddenly frozen in terror; she felt her power shrinking as Nightmare Moon absorbed it. Her misty mane evaporated, replaced with its tangible blue counterpart. "It..." She was shrinking. She could feel it.
"It. Does. Not!"
Luna awoke with a start. Immediately she brought up a forehoof to reach for her mane. It caught nothing but air. She rolled onto her belly, craning her head around to get a view of her tail. It was ethereal, and her coat remained dark blue, not the sky blue she had been left with after being struck by the Elements of Harmony. The princess exhaled, hiding her muzzle under a hoof. She had won, but only barely.
Now calmer, Luna raised her eyes to the sky, where her sister had begun to reel in the sun. Dusk; it was time to leave. The sooner she finished with this mission and escaped from the place where Nightmare Moon had the most power over her, she would be safe. Wouldn't she? I wasn't safe one thousand years ago... she reminded herself as she stared somberly at the setting sun.
But she didn't want to be sent back to her sister with the weight of her failure sitting on her back. Luna needed to prove herself capable, to prove herself strong... Admitting to being nearly overpowered by her own psyche was not a part of that. Yes. She had to keep going.
"Pinkamena," she called, finally turning her gaze back to the earth. "It is time to depa--"
The pink pony was nowhere to be found.
"Oh, of all the..." Luna surveyed her surroundings, but saw nothing out of place... until her eyes honed in on a small hole, barely visible, between two saplings which had been pulled apart at the edge of the Everfree Forest. Suddenly panicked, Luna pulled herself up and galloped to the spot.
Laying on the ground next to one of the saplings was a red and comically oversized pair of sunglasses. They stared at her mockingly; Luna wasted no time in raising a hoof and thrusting it through one of the lenses.
"We are going to severely reprimand that pony," she vowed.
Pinkie Pie dashed through the Everfree Forest, over protruding roots and under fallen branches, ears raised in alertness. She couldn't see it now, but she was sure she had caught a glimpse--just out of the corner of her eye, but clear nonetheless, of a pink coat between the trees. The strangeness of it--and, perhaps, the familiarity as well--had sent her chasing after the unknown creature, but all she knew about it so far was that it was far faster than she was. "Hello!" she called breathlessly as she chased after the pink shadow. "I'm not gonna hurt you! I just wanna meet--"
An intangible force took her by the hair and pulled backwards. Pinkie shrieked, whirling around to face the manticore, or the dragon, or whatever it was that was accosting her. Instead, she turned to see a very angry alicorn, misty mane whirling in an invisible gale. "What are thoust doing here?!" she demanded, readopting the Royal Canterlot voice. "Did we not warn you to keep close?!"
The earth pony let out a great sigh of relief, falling back of her hindquarters. Evidently she hadn't noticed that Luna was trying to be intimidating. "Gosh, Princess, don't scare me like that! I thought you were a monster or something even worse!"
Luna placed a hoof to her forehead, wispy mane calming and the glow around her horn growing fainter. What a tiresome pony! And yet Pinkie's words kept resonating with her, unintentionally profound. She thought Luna was a monster... The princess felt a nightmarish stirring in her skull. Maybe Pinkie Pie had thought right. She shook off the dark thought, opting instead to glare sternly down at her traveling companion. "Pinkamena, you... we... we need to go. Both of us."
"Both of the three of us, you mean?" joked Pinkie, raising an eyebrow and grinning at Luna. She had intended to calm down the alicorn, but it seemed to have the opposite effect. The princess stopped short, ears perked and eyes opened wide. Pinkie's smile disappeared; angry Luna didn't faze her in the slightest, but fearful Luna tied her stomach in knots. "Because you always say 'we' when you're just talking about yourself, get it?!" she explained hurriedly.
Luna sighed deeply. "Yes... Yes, Of course."
They sailed through the night sky, Pinkie riding on Luna's back again. Having spent most of the day rolling around in the grass rather than doing any of the vigorous activities she usually participated in, Pinkie Pie didn't find herself nearly as tired this time, and was able to appreciate the view with eyes unclouded by exhaustion for the first time.
And what a view it was!
The moon was bright enough that night to illuminate the landscape vaguely for her, and underneath the alicorn's powerful wings Pinkie could spot hills, valleys, and even what looked like an enormous tree the size of a small mountain. She had pointed it out to Luna, nearly falling off of the princess's back in the meantime, but the mistress of the moon only snorted derisively. "'Tis but a Coast Redhoof, Pinkamena Diane. There are several others within the bounds of Equestria." Pinkie then devoted an entire hour to finding the coast that must have accompanied the tree with such an unusual name, but found none.
But while looking down was beautiful, looking up was simply dazzling. The memory had faded since her foalhood, but looking up into the stars brought back every night at the rock farm, under a sparkling curtain of distant suns. Nighttime in Ponyville was pretty, sure, but out here--and out there, by the rock farms--the complete lack of artificial light made each and every star stand out, showcasing its own individual beauty. "Princess, did you make those?" Pinkie Pie asked, breathless.
The alicorn chanced a glance back at her companion, a genuine smile forming on her muzzle. "Indeed we--that is, indeed I did," she confirmed serenely. "It was aeons ago, when I was but a filly. I crafted the moon in that same year. If one were to look particularly closely at the craters of the moon, one would find the words 'Luna is best princess' etched painstakingly into the rock." Both ponies shared a laugh at that, Pinkie pleasantly surprised to find the alicorn acting so amicably. Note to Pinkie Pie (me!): when all else fails, talk about stars! she thought, cacheing the knowledge away for future reference.
Pinkie looked up at the stars again, and nearly swooned at the sheer dizzying volume of the distant lights. Luna had to swerve to catch the pink pony before she fell off of the princess's back. "Careful!" she reminded Pinkie Pie, casting a stern glance backwards. Pinkie was more than happy to oblige, laying her head down and closing her eyes.
"Some things are soooo beautiful," the earth pony remarked cheerfully. "That you just can't look at them too often. If you really take the time to enjoy it, it'll stick with you for a lifetime, anyways."
Time after time, it seemed that Luna always found herself shocked by the randomly profound thoughts Pinkie would spew sporadically. "You are right," she agreed, casting her gaze downwards. She had never been much for forethought in her foalhood; if she had, she would have noticed ahead of time that her boastful message was actually scrawled on the dark side of the moon, where it would never be visible to the average Equestrian regardless of its size. She had forgotten about it until Nightmare Moon... until Celestia sent her to the moon. Captive in her own mind, slave to her dark alter ego, she had literally spent centuries staring at that message. Luna is best princess. Oh, how she had come to hate it during that time.
A conspicuous silence from her back informed Luna that her companion had fallen asleep, and the alicorn tried her best to clear her head of thoughts aside from those of the matter at hand. They were making remarkable time; at this rate, it would only be a five nights' journey to Marem, including the one that had passed already and the one that was in progress at the moment. She hadn't been to the city-state since her thousand-year hiatus, but from what Celestia had told her, it seemed that Marem had changed just as little as Luna had. To be honest, she didn't like Marem. Too arrogant. Everypony there was convinced they were superior to those outside the city walls. Of course, Luna considered herself to be above others as well, but that was because she was. What claim to greatness did the Maremite unicorns have?
Luna is best princess. It had been a cute little joke then, and now, she was inclined to feel the same way. But as innocent as that one small sentence was, it didn't stop the passenger deep inside of her from chuckling softly, misty mane circling Luna's heart with the intent to conquer it. She felt the weight of Pinkie Pie pushing down on her back; the pony was so innocently unaware of her own power. In a wave of uncharacteristic protectiveness, Luna vowed to herself to stop the mysterious force in Pinkie from becoming as strong as she had let Nightmare Moon become. "Worry not, Pinkamena Diane Pie," she said out loud, fully aware that nopony could hear her but compelled to vocalize her feelings anyway.
"'Worry?' What would I be worried about?" Luna's face flushed red immediately; maybe somepony could hear her anyways. "Besides," continued the alicorn's passenger, oblivious to Luna's embarrassment, "You don't have to call me by my full name, you know. Pinkie Pie is fine, or even just Pinkie! I tried to get my friends to call me 'The Pink' once but they thought it was stupid so I gave up on that."
"Right. Of course." Every time Luna thought she just might respect the baker, Pinkie seemed hell-bent on proving her wrong.
Again the sun was rising; Luna remembered how much her sister had resented having to adhere to such a strict schedule during their foalhood. Back then, dawn's exact timing had been rather erratic, sometimes arriving at five a.m., other times not until nine or ten. In the thousand years they had spent apart, Luna found that Celestia had become more diplomatic and responsible, no longer the lazy prankster she was as a filly, and the sun's schedule had become much more consistent. Having to control both heavenly bodies probably played a part in that, Luna thought, and she felt a sharp pang of guilt.
It was strange, how she could be reminded of a nigh-apocalyptic situation she and her night created and only feel momentary shame, while the idea of tasking her beloved sister with extra chores resonated so deeply with Luna. She was beginning to understand why the citizens of Ponyville had devoted an entire day to being terrified of her.
Pushing less pertinent thoughts aside, the princess scanned the landscape below her, searching for a town or at least a sheltered field in which she could sleep. She was beginning to spot fewer and fewer forests, the wooded areas giving way to long, rolling plains. Not too far to the east was the new settlement of Appleloosa, but that would require some deviation from Luna's planned path. Besides, if she knew not only the name but the location of a recently-built town, that probably meant she had heard bad news of it in her Canterlot home. Something about stampeding buffalo, she remembered.
No, Appleloosa was out.
Luna descended slowly, taking care not to let the sleeping earth pony on her back fall--or worse, wake up and begin talking. Plains, plains, a small lake, plains... A-ha! At last she spotted a small wagon traveling on a dirt road, little more than a simple chariot, but still spacious enough to sleep in. One better, it even seemed to be traveling in the same direction she was heading. Perhaps they could make progress even in the daytime!
Excited, Luna swooped closer to the wagon; from here she could see that it was made from wood--a slightly shoddy construction, but workable. Much more care seemed to have gone into its paint job: mostly sky blue, but with a spray of several colors on each side, apparently painted to resemble fireworks. Moreover, there was text on the side; the alicorn flew down further until she was almost in line with the wagon to read it: The Great and Powerful Trixie!
A traveling sideshow? speculated Luna, simultaneously excited and slightly annoyed that she would have to spend the day with a group of performers. She began flapping her wings more rapidly, aiming to catch up with the pony pulling the cart: a yellow unicorn stallion with a strange, almost prance-like gait. "Greetings, citizen!" she called, having decided that now was as good a time as any to adopt her Royal Canterlot Voice.
Shocked by the volume of Luna's voice, the stallion stopped short, nearly letting himself be run over by the wagon before its momentum tapered into nothing as well. As Luna landed to address him on a calmer level, there was a shrill shout from within the wagon: "Lightning Burst! The Great and Powerful Trixie did not order you to stop!"
An azure unicorn wearing a magician's hat and cape emerged from the wagon, only to stop short at the sight of Luna. Her eyes drifted to the taller mare's horn, and then to her wings as the identity of the interloper dawned on her. Lightning Burst, the stallion Trixie had hired to transport her props--and then, later, herself--was looking from the Princess to Trixie and back, pupils shrinking with panic as he tried to decide which pony seemed more dangerous. Luna just raised an eyebrow commandingly, fully aware of the effect her appearance had on ponies.
Pinkie Pie snored.
Eventually, it was Trixie who broke the silence, clearing her throat and smiling up at the Princess apologetically. "Your.. majesty!" she stammered, taking a few nervous hoofsteps backwards. "To what does the Great and Powerful Trixie owe the, um... the honor of this visit?" The pitch of her voice rose at the last five words, seemingly more concerned with how her speech sounded than what it meant.
"Our companion and we are traveling to the city-state of Marem. Art thou familiar with the place?" Luna had been trying her best to abandon her antiquated style of speaking, but if the garishly-painted wagon was any indication, showmareship might just be exactly what she needed to persuade the unicorn.
Trixie jerked her head towards Lightning Burst, fixing him with an icy glare. "Well? Are we?!" she demanded. Lightning wished he had just stayed in Canterlot; no amount of money was worth traveling with this self-obsessed magician, never mind the fact that most of the bits she had promised him seemed conspicuously absent.
But here he was, so he couldn't go thinking about what might or might not be. "I've heard of it," he admitted, his voice soft and just a little nasal. "It's not too far from Peasantville, I think... never been there, though."
"Hmph." Trixie's gaze turned back to Luna, and she reapplied her false grin. "Well. There you are, your majesty."
She turned away, ready to trot back into her wagon, before a large and powerful hoof came to a rest on her shoulder. "Wait," Luna demanded. Trixie complied, though she didn't bother turning back around. "We are in need of a form of transportation to carry us to Marem. Thy cart doth seem promising..."
"Well," repeated Trixie again. "It, um... It's too small! That's it! Were a wonderful mare such as you with such a wonderful size to rest within, the Great and Powerful Trixie would have no place to fit inside!"
Five minutes later, Trixie was sitting atop the top of her cart, sighing as she counted the number of stars she had managed to fit on the board. Her cart needed more sparkles--that must have been what was turning so many ponies away from her fabulous performance. The wagon shuddered as Lightning Burst leapt over a rock, nearly sending its owner careening off of the side. In hindsight, the Great and Powerful Trixie should have expected this.
Pinkie Pie's eyelashes fluttered gracefully as she opened her eyes, face marred with an uncharacteristic frown. Something felt... wrong. Like a tugging at the back of her mind. At the rock farm, she and her sisters had once found a sinkhole at the edge of their property. Her father, Clyde Pie, had explained what caused the mysterious gash in the earth: soil under the ground had eroded away, leaving the dirt resting on it to rumble down into the resulting pit like dominoes. That was what the tugging felt like--like a part of her was beginning to blink out of existence, and the rest was rushing in to fill the void.
It wasn't entirely unlike her Pinkie Sense, but magnified exponentially. The sensation increased in intensity as she focused on it, until it was no longer just a tug, but a harsh yank. She slowly opened her eyes further, taking in her surroundings. She was back in the clearing near the Everfree Forest... somehow. "Princess?" she called, then retreated with a whimper, the feeling in her head turning into real pain as soon as she opened her mouth. The earth pony placed a forehoof over her head, shielding her eyes from the sun. The... sun?
Pinkie removed her hoof and looked up at the sky, ignoring the pain it caused. The sun didn't seem right. It seemed... off. Like the tugging at the back of her mind, except this wasn't just taking place in her head. This was a hole in reality being filled. The sky as a whole shimmered. "Princess?!" she yelled again, wincing in pain. The Princess would know what was wrong. She knew the sky, after all. Well... the night sky. The day's sky belonged to--
"I wouldn't think that, if I were you," Pinkie turned, searching for the source of the voice. Whoever it was, they were the source of the sinkhole in her mind. She could feel it. Call it her Pinkie Sense.
"W-Why?" she asked, still searching the surrounding clearing for her visitor. It wasn't Princess Luna; she knew that much. The voice seemed... harsh. Bitter. It was a mare's voice, definitely, but any trace of femininity present in it was dispelled by the dull, bored tone it took. If anything, androgyny suited the mystery pony more; the voice simply didn't seem as if it cared enough to give itself a gender. It didn't seem as if it cared enough to do anything.
"Because," it continued, "We're not alone here. She's like us."
"Who? What?" Pinkie seemed to forget all about her growing migraine in her bewilderment. "Who is 'us?'"
"You..." A hoof settled on Pinkie's shoulder, and she spun back around to face... herself. Or what could have been herself, in an alternate life. The pony before her lacked her bright color and the puffy mane style she had adopted after viewing the Sonic Rainboom. However, what distinguished her the most from Pinkie Pie herself was not the more cosmetic differences, but rather her body language, her manner of carrying herself. The mare was hunched over, ears held down, with a frown on her face and a complete lack of emotion in her eyes. Not-Pinkie opened her mouth and finished: "...and me."
Pinkie relaxed, relieved to see that her guest was not the hideous monster she expected. By the Everfree Forest, she could never be sure. Adopting a tired smile, she reached out a forehoof to her doppelgänger invitingly. "Okie-dokie-lokie, then. 'Snice to meet you. I'm Pinkie Pie, and I'd show you my welcome wagon if I had it around..."
The other mare smirked slightly before returning to her neutral expression. "Pinkamena Diane Pie," she introduced herself. "Though I'm afraid this isn't the first time we've met. Oh, and by the way..." She jerked her head up toward the sky, still containing its giant invisible sinkhole. "We're not by the Everfree Forest. You haven't been there in days."
"Oh," said Pinkie Pie as the environment around her dissolved, along with Pinkamena Diane (She thought of Luna momentarily, and her formal way of referring to her). "Okay... then..."
For the second time that day--or was in night now?--Pinkie Pie opened her eyes. Trixie's magician's hat greeted her, but aside from that and an assortment of props strewn about the cart, she was alone. Her ears perked up as she heard shouting coming from outside the wagon.
"For the final time, the Great and Powerful Trixie shall stop and complete her performance in Peasantville first, this being her vehicle and all, and then she may consider passing by this 'Marem' place!"
"My greatest pardons, Your Majesty, but we were not aware that thou werest, in fact, royalty. After all, one must always respect royalty, mustn't one!"
"Yes! Always... until that royalty becomes a complete pain in one's flank!"
"Agreed; it seems that, according to your assessment, common courtesy has rendered ourselves capable of ceasing to show thee respect. With all that is due to you, please do go find thyself in the belly of a manticore!"
"Spoiled foal!"
"Self-loving harlot!"
"Little princess!"
"Yes! Exactly!"
Pinkie sighed, enjoying the familiar sound of bickering. As she had learned over the past two days, Trixie's false respect for Princess Luna had worn off quickly, replaced by anger and scorn, which was returned wholeheartedly by the alicorn. Pinkie Pie and Lightning Burst, for their parts, had just stood off to the side and watched, though while Pinkie had watched with amusement, Trixie's assistant's reaction was more like terror. He had asked Pinkie what she thought the chances of Luna decimating the cart and its residents in a Trixie-induced rage were, to which the pink pony had replied casually that there was a fairly small chance of that happening.
He had not seemed reassured.
On the ceiling of the cart was a hatch door, leading up to the roof where Pinkie Pie's companion and reluctant guide were sitting. The party planner considered climbing up to join them for a moment, but thought better of it; the cart was only so large, and with two normal-sized ponies and one alicorn on the roof, somepony was bound to fall off. Besides, Pinkie had a mysterious feeling in her gut right now; not the unpleasant tugging of her dreams, but just an unusual desire that she had never actually felt before: she wanted to be alone.
Not permanently, certainly not, and yet not momentarily, either. For the first time in her life, Pinkie found that she could use a good minute or five with only herself for company. Myself... She thought back to her dream, back to the dull-coated pony that looked just like her. Pinkamena Diane Pie... that's my name, you know. I mean, I know. I mean... Pinkie Pie giggled. What did she mean? Of course her name was Pinkamena Diane Pie! Even if she was actually silly enough to forget it, Luna and her overuse of the pink mare's full name should have reminded her by now!
She remembered how the pony calling herself Pinkamena had referred to Pinkie and herself as "we"... which made grammatical sense, of course, but it prompted the formation of a connection in Pinkie's mind, between herself and her traveling companion. She had never really understood what the "royal plural" meant, no matter how many times Twilight Sparkle had tried to explain it to her after Nightmare Night. But maybe that isn't it at all. Maybe she just uses "we" the same way Pinkamena--I--whoever used "we!" Pinkamena was me, and she was talking to me, so we were "we!" Princess Luna is herself, and... I wonder who talks to her. Pinkie frowned, her simplistic but logical train of thought reaching a stop. Wow, she finally decided, Now I know why Twilight's so smart! She spent her time in Canterlot alone, and, boy, being alone sure does lead to thinking a lot!
Then, I think I'm done thinking.
Nodding her head in agreement, Pinkie threw open the hatch and climbed out to join Luna and Trixie, leaving her unthought thoughts behind. She had needed a minute or five to be alone, and now that minute (or was it five?) was over.
"...and if thou dost not set on the road to Marem immediately, we promise that a plague of magical impotence shall come upon thee!" shouted Luna, finishing her final rant in her tirade of anger towards Trixie.
The unicorn only rolled her eyes, smirking as she flicked a strand of blue hair from her face. "Ha! The joke will be on you, then, because the Great and Powerful Trixie doesn't even need magic to perform magic!" On cue, she produced a bouquet of flowers that had previously been absent from behind her back, holding them out towards the dark alicorn. Luna reached forward warily, glare trained on Trixie's self-assured face accusingly, only to find them snatched away as soon as her hoof approached the roses. Trixie bit down on their blooms, savoring the bouquet's taste. "You see?" she bragged in between bites.
Luna crossed her forehooves angrily. "Truly, we have never seen such insolence in our life!" she cried, exasperated.
"Hey, guys!" The two ponies stopped their bickering long enough to see Pinkie Pie climb out from the wagon's interior, mane somehow even more unkempt than usual. Oblivious to their tension, or perhaps innocently wanting to reduce it, she sat down in between Luna and Trixie, grinning at them each in turn. The relatively small area of the cart's roof forced the trio to huddle close to one another, regardless of how little two of them wanted to. "What's up?"
"Certainly the idea of decimating this cart and its residents in an insolence-induced rage," replied Princess Luna dryly, eliciting a nervous gulp from the stallion pulling the wagon. "Yes, that is certainly 'up in the air,' as is said, at the moment."
"The Great and Powerful Trixie has been considering something as well. Were the size of the royal family to decrease suddenly by one, do you suppose anypony would really notice?"
Pinkie genuinely seemed to consider the matter for a moment before replying, "Yeah, there's a pretty good chance somepony would notice."
"...Oh. Well then," Trixie rolled her eyes, then stared out at the sunset-lit environment rushing by her, avoiding eye contact with either of her self-proclaimed passengers. They were still in the plains, though the sight of ponds and marshes was becoming more common. Peasantville was in the swamps, of course; if it was really as close as Lightning Burst said it was, then Marem would likely be in that same general biome as well. She hoped it was as close as he said it was... And Lightning Burst should hope so too, if he doesn't want to face the wrath of the Great and Powerful Trixie--heck, and probably the wrath of that bossy princess, too!
More than content to ignore the infuriating unicorn--or at least ignore her as well as she could, given their proximity--Luna turned to greet Pinkie Pie. "Pinkamena Diane. How was your sleep?"
The earth pony shrugged. "It was all right. Had some weird dreams, though. This whole 'nocturnal schedule' thing is harder than I thought it would be!"
Princess Luna nodded with understanding. "Yes. We--I--" Her glance traveled back to Trixie momentarily. "--We have found ourselves obligated to awaken ourselves during the daytime for certain extenuating circumstances--holidays, festivals, our sister's days off and the like--and have always had difficulties adjusting to a new sleeping schedule. It does grow easier with time, however."
Luna chanced another glance at Trixie, who was still glaring out over the plains, then gestured for Pinkie to come closer. The pink mare leaned forward with interest as the princess whispered to her, "And do not forget--abiding by my schedule shall minimize the time you have to spend tolerating that impossible stage magician!"
The two mares giggled together mischievously, and Pinkie felt all of the remaining stress from her bizarre dream melting away as it occurred to her that, for the second time since their departure, she had actually seen Luna laugh in a manner that wasn't scornful! And even better--the princess had taken the time to joke with Pinkie without any of the energetic mare's usual prompting, and that... that made Pinkie Pie happy.
Their shared moment was interrupted by a nervous call from in front of the wagon. "Er, everypony?" called Lightning Burst, slowing the speed of his gallop. "Your Majesty? Trix--er, Great and Powerful Trixie? Um... Pink Pony?"
"Pinkie Pie," corrected Pinkie nonchalantly.
"Right. Pinkie Pie. Anyways..." Lightning slowed down to a canter, and then a trot, before coming to a stop. "We've arrived."
Trixie snapped to attention, another snide smile forming on her lips. "Aha! You see, 'Your Highness?' The Great and Powerful Trixie has finally arrived at..." Her smile began to fade as she looked closer at the settlement in front of her. "...her... destination...? Where in Equestria are we?" she demanded, bewildered.
"Right. About that..." muttered her employee, kneading the ground nervously.
Princess Luna smiled, eyes narrowing as she took in more and more of the sight before her. She had assumed that Celestia was using hyperbole when she had told her that her destination hadn't changed in the past thousand years, and yet... it was true. Nothing had changed.
There was a moment of absolute silence, until Pinkie finally decided to break the ice. "Um, Princess? I thought you said Marem was a city..." She gave a skeptical glance to Trixie, who returned it, and another to Lightning Burst, who only tried to avoid eye contact. "Right? Didn't you say that?"
Stretching in front of them was a large expanse of what looked nothing like a settlement, and a good bit more like a swamp. The landscape was covered mostly by water, and yet the land-anchored vegetation was persistent enough as to grow regardless. Ghostly-white moss hung limply from the stretching cypress branches that sheltered the sludge-clogged water, on which thin layers of algae floated. A thick backdrop of ominously organic sounds--the calls of unseen frogs, buzzing of unseen insects, and occasional worrying splash from the swamp's deepest regions--hung in the air.
Last time Pinkie Pie had visited Froggy Bottom Bog, she and four of her friends had nearly been devoured by a hydra... and yet she still felt safer there than she did here, in what was reportedly a civilized, cultured city. It felt so untamed--not like Ponyville, where the town authorities arranged even the weather to work in its citizens' favor, and not even like Everfree Forest, which often seemed as if it was out to destroy any ponies who dared step within its bounds. No, this place didn't aim to hurt them; rather, it simply seemed... apathetic. It didn't care. Pinkie, Trixie, Lightning, and even the Princess could live here or die here, and Marem--was it really Marem?--wouldn't be affected in the slightest. Places like the Everfree Forest and Froggy Bottom Bog had goals, they had personality. This swamp didn't. It was like an inanimate object.
Inanimate, or dead.
Luna chuckled, perfectly content to defy the prevailing mood. "I most certainly did, Pinkamena. I implore you to retain trust in me; there is indeed a method in the madness of this place."
"Could've fooled me," remarked Pinkie nervously, prompting another light laugh from Princess Luna.
"As I said: retain trust in me," she assured, brushing the earth pony's ear with one of her wings as she took to the air. Pinkie placed a forehoof on the ear that had been touched, giving the Princess a sheepish grin. Luna's confidence was reassuring, regardless of their ominous surroundings.
Trixie let out a contrived cough to indicate her impatience, prompting a considerably harder blow to her own ear from the alicorn. "Well, does the Great and Powerful Trixie not have reason to be concerned?" insisted the unicorn, glaring upwards at Princess Luna. "Trixie thought she was on her way to Peasantville. Well, Princess? Lightning Burst?" She turned to them both in turn. The latter, having been silent up until then, snapped to attention.
"I thought so, too!" cried Lightning, panic beginning to set in. "This is supposed to be a road! Marem is ten miles to the west!"
Luna glanced back, turning to address the stallion of nervous disposition. "Have you ever visited Marem?"
Lightning Burst winced as if struck. "Well... no..." he admitted, hanging his head. "But I've seen the name on maps; I know the way! I'm a navigator by trade! This can't be right!" The pitch of his shaking voice rose with every sentence.
"Worry not," said Luna, finding it necessary to interrupt Lightning before he managed to hurt himself. "Were one to consult a map, one would indeed find that this bog was situated in the middle of an established road, and that Marem was located a considerable distance away. The map, however, would be incorrect."
"You're not making any sense!" snapped Trixie. "First you tell us this is a city; then you tell us that it's a bog--which it certainly looks like to this Great and Powerful pony! Now you're implying that there is some sort of mass conspiracy meant to impede travelers on their way to Peasantville, or..." She waved a hoof as if dismissing Luna's words as nonsense. "...or something!"
"Do not overreact. There is no 'conspiracy,'" replied the alicorn, undaunted. She rolled her eyes. "In fact, you and your navigator are free to continue onwards; Peasantville is indeed located up ahead. Our business together is finished. Pinkamena Diane?"
Pinkie stood up, prepared to hop off of the cart and follow Luna into the swamp, but she was impeded by Trixie, who shoved her way in front of her stubbornly. "Don't be stupid!" cried the performer, shrilly. "The Great and Powerful Trixie will not stand for being played with like this! Invisible cities, nonexistent roads... Trixie is going to move on to Peasantville after sorting through all this, or not at all!"
Lightning went stock-still at that, eyes wide with fear. Pinkie could only hypothesize that he was mentally weighing the pros and cons of leaving Trixie's employ right then and there; regardless, she couldn't help but giggle at how much the stallion's reaction reminded her of her friend Fluttershy.
Immediately, Trixie whipped around, turning on Pinkie Pie. "You! What, Trixie would like to know, is so funny?! Are the two of you in on this? Is this some sort of con?" She took a step closer with every question, until she had the earth pony backed up against the wagon's edge, only a few inches away from falling.
A dark blue miasma enveloped Pinkie, followed by Princess Luna's landing on the cart in front of her with a heavy 'thunk.' Pupils obscured by a whitish glow enveloping her eyes, she leaned forward challengingly, staring down Trixie. Her voice boomed in the humid air. "We are sure you would know much of so-called 'cons,' Miss Trixie, but we assure you that Pinkamena's and my mission most certainly is not one. And thou art not welcome to follow us, so please carry on and get your self-important hooves away from my traveling companion."
What ensued was another moment of silence, tension crackling between Luna and Trixie as Pinkie stared, mouth agape, and Lightning Burst curled up into a fetal position on the ground, shivering with fear. Finally, Trixie took one meaningful step away from Princess and baker, extending a forehoof out in the direction of the swamp. "Fine, then," she hissed, voice thick with malice. "Go."
Princess Luna recomposed herself, magical glow fading and ethereal mane and tail beginning to settle. There was an ominous boom of thunder in the distance. "Gladly," she replied finally, extending a wing to the floor. It took a moment for Pinkie to realize that the alicorn intended her to climb aboard, at which point she did exactly that, still not entirely sure what to think of the Princess's sudden outburst. It wasn't as if Luna's temper was a new thing for her; she had seen that angry energy before, sometimes even aimed at Pinkie Pie herself. However, she had never seen it take hold with such suddenness or at such small provocation before. Luna had argued with Trixie plenty over the past few days, often with massive amounts of vitriol spewed from both sides, but never... like that. What made this occasion any different?
Pinkie's question went unanswered as Luna took flight, leaving the wagon and its occupants behind. The flight was not a long one; Luna had not been exaggerating when she had said that the bog they had stopped at was literally Marem, and the takeoff had been more for making a dramatic exit than anything else. They hit ground again on a small island in the swamp, merely a little patch of overgrown grass, its only distinguishing feature a strange lavender flower that bloomed flamboyantly in the swampy environment, just slightly taller than Pinkie herself. The fuchsia baker examined it carefully as she dismounted, convinced that nothing so remarkable could be irrelevant... especially when this so-called city still seemed to be nothing but an abandoned swamp.
"Princess?" asked Pinkie Pie, pausing from her examination of the purple bloom just long enough to glance up at Luna. "Is this some sort of illusion spell or something? I've seen Twilight do that sometimes, with little things like making books look like sandwiches and... stuff. Is this a town disguised as a swamp or something? Also,"--just to reestablish the status quo--"the stars look really, really pretty tonight."
Luna smiled downwards, genuinely, filling Pinkie Pie with relief that the Princess had indeed settled back into her usual demeanor--well, maybe even a bit nicer. "Thank you," she said in response to Pinkie's complimentary non-sequitir. Then, "No, not as such. An illusion spell is a clever thought, but there are none in deployment here."
"Oh. Well..." Pinkie raised an eyebrow, letting out a small nervous giggle. "I don't mean to disrupt the timing of your exposition, Princess, but I still have no idea what's going on or how this swamp can be Marem. Even I like to have some things explained sometimes."
"That is a fair request," agreed Luna. "Very well, then. It is probably best that I first establish one thing: Marem is not, in fact, a physical place."
The alicorn paused, waiting for Pinkie Pie to butt in with an incredulous exclamation of "What?!" or "No way!" or some similar outburst. In actuality, she did no such thing, but only stood there silently, waiting for the remainder of Luna's explanation. Full of surprises, that pony.
"Actually," continued Princess Luna. "It is more similar to... the sort of landscape one would see in a dream. Not in its design as such--in fact, Marem is a very well-organized city. Rather, Marem is literally a settlement made in the space between realities, a place created by the minds of this world's citizens. This bog is one spot in which the barrier between reality and fantasy is at its weakest, hence my claim that Marem was 'located' here. This is the gateway of sorts through which we will pass into the city."
Now Luna stopped speaking with an air of finality, waiting for her traveling companion to grasp the extent of what she had just said. She hadn't meant to conceal anything from Pinkie; Luna just knew how difficult it was for a normal Equestrian to comprehend the concept of a place that was literally nowhere. Even Starswirl himself had had difficulty in doing so, and he had been a brilliant scholar.
Meanwhile, Pinkie's mind was swimming with questions and theories. She thought of her dream, of the bizarre sky with its holes in reality... was that what this was? A hole in reality? Was that why she had felt that way? But then... who was Pinkamena? She wasn't Pinkie, because Pinkie was Pinkie. Wasn't she? It was like she was seeing the Sonic Rainboom for the first time all over again.
"Then..." Pinkie Pie's voice faltered, anxious for one of the few times in her life. "Then is that why..." Her eyes were still trained on the vegetation. "Is that why the flower disappeared?"
Luna gazed appraisingly at the empty space in which there had once been a violet bloom. "That is exactly why," she replied. "Look up, Pinkamena Diane Pie."
Pinkie looked up. She wasn't in the bog any more. Where there had once been an unobstructed night sky there was now a bright blue expanse, crystal spires reaching up to touch it. Her gaze followed the spires down... down to the ground, where she found that they weren't just decoration--they were buildings. Skyscrapers made of crystal! The ground beneath her hooves was still covered in grass, but just a few feet to the right of Pinkie and Luna passed a winding cobblestone road connecting the buildings to each other. The subtle, organic sounds of the swamp were gone, replaced by the hustle-and-bustle of a big city at rush hour. A beautiful unicorn mare with a carefully-styled mane that could give Rarity's a run for its money bumped into Luna accidentally, but only made her hurried apologies and trotted off, apparently unimpressed by the sight of a royal alicorn.
"I may have been hasty in my earlier declaration," said Luna at Pinkie gaped at her surroundings. "Now is the time to say, 'Welcome to Marem.'"
