> Integration
>  by Rocktavia
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Prologue: Devoid
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	Darkness. The everlasting void. I have floated in this vast space between universes for a thousand years. I would have succumbed to madness long ago, were it not for one voice that seems to keep me going. I can’t tell if it is my own… or something else. Something otherworldly.
It comes and goes, but it is enough. It provides a sort of companionship that keeps me sane.
One thousand years. An eternity of nothingness. Time is nonexistent here. For me, there is no beginning and no end. No death, and yet, no life either.
I once was called Joseph… But that was a long time ago. 
At least the voice reminds me of my name when I forget. And believe me, every hundred years or so… I forget. My old life but a faint memory – a distant echo that...

Wait. The voice is calling me.

“Joseph. It is time.”
Time? Time for what?
“Time for you to return to the waking world.”
Then… I can go back? To my old life, I mean?
“Not exactly.”
Then I will wait until I can.
“You have no choice in the matter.”
The voice paused for a moment.
“Prepare yourself, Joseph of Earth Prime.”

Suddenly, nonexistence turns to existence. Darkness becomes a vast, white space. The light blinds me for a moment, until my aetheric- No. Eyes. I have eyes now. I haven’t had eyes since… Well… Since I was human. 
I blinked twice.

“Certainly is a new perspective on… heh, ‘life’. Isn’t it, Joseph?”
I idly examined my restored body, checking if all the… ahem, ‘parts’ are in place. I grabbed my fingers, tugged at my ears, and rubbed my eyes as if waking up from a long sleep. My hair floated in front of my face, its black tendrils flopping back and forth with my head. My next grope hit upon a slightly lower part, and I jumped a bit at the intense sensation.
The voice giggled.
“You humans are so bizarre. You’re given the breath of life once more and have no other reaction but to feel yourselves up.”
“I… I’m human again.”
“Just what clued you into that?”
I ignored the sarcasm and jumped to the question at the forefront of my mind.
“So, you’ve been watching me for a long time. You obviously know a lot about me. I think it’s time you returned the favor.”
“Humph. Very well.”
In front of me, a flash of light (Well, as much of a flash of light that could be discerned in a completely white space.) appeared, and out of it emerged a bizarre Chimera – if it could even be called as such.
Almost a living contradiction, it was! Its eyes were extraordinarily mismatched and oddly shaped. It had two horns upon its equine head – one of a goat, one of a deer. Its arms were equally contradictory. One belonged to a lion, and the other to a bird, I think.
Its body was more like a snake than any other animal. The wings on its back were also mismatched – one of a feathered creature, the other of a dragon.
“Discord.”
“Oh-ho! My reputation precedes me, I think! Well, perhaps I can skip the first little theatricality I had planned. A pity, really. It was a whopper.”
“But… No, this doesn’t make any sense!”
Discord scoffed.
“Pshaw, what fun is there at all in making sense?!”
“No, I mean… You. Are. Not. Real. You’re fictitious! No, I…”
“Chaos knows no walls and no limits. Wherever a sapient species rests, Chaos thrives. Human, I. AM. CHAOS.”
“Am I dead?”
“No. Well, not exactly. You’re between life and death. A sort of… Waiting Room.”
“And you… what are you, the weird front-desk secretary?”
Discord laughed again. I was tiring of his games.
“That’s – ha! That’s what I like about you, Joe. Your sense of humor.”
“That’s funny, because I had no idea I even had a sense of humor until just now.”
“Your memory will return. Just give it time. For now, though, I’m afraid I’ll need to just send you on your way.”
“Judging from your lack of snarky comment, you must be willing to listen to what I have to say. See, this is my prison. I’ve been trapped here for a long time. I want to be free. See, I’m the Spirit of Chaos. In your world, I’m known as Loki. In a world some distance away from this one, I am known only as Q. Interestingly enough, you called me Discord. That was my original name. Also interesting, the world that called me that is exactly where I am sending you. Of course, I cannot send you home, but I think you’ll like this place even more.”
“Anything’s better than this place. What do you want?”
“Let me out.”
Apparently, the conversation was over. The world faded out, and I lost consciousness.


***


A cluster of mares crowded around the collapsed form of some weird bipedal ape.
“What in Equestria is that?” a white-coated Unicorn with a purple mane asked. The crowd softly murmered.
A voice softly spoke in the midst of the crowd. 
“It’s… beautiful.” 
Rarity turned to the pony who just spoke and saw a turquoise unicorn with a lyre cutie mark. Her white mane was rather unstylish, but of course nopony was as stylish as Rarity.
“Lyra, darling. You know what this… thing… is?”
“It’s… I think…”
The crowd leaned in intently.
“It’s a human.”


***


I awoke in a strange room and could barely see. My eyes squinted in the light to no avail - I was just not adjusted to the brightness.
Gah... Where the hell am I?
"Oh, thank Celestia! You're awake. I have so many questions!"
After my eyes adjusted to the light, I peered down toward my legs and saw they were bound to a metal table. My arms were likewise strapped down. 
I looked towards the person who had just spoke... and saw a pony. Turquoise. Lyre Cutie Mark. 
You have got to be kidding me.
"Y-You."
"Yep, me! ... Wait, you know who I am?"
I rapidly held my tongue. These ponies just can't know that I know 98% of everything about them. It would be... complicated.
"You... You're a pony!"
She was unimpressed.
"Gee, really?"
Her face rapidly plastered a smile on and leaped onto my bonded body, her hooves colliding with my stomach. She (unnecessarily) pinned my arms and legs with her hooves and stared directly into my eyes.
"OW, SON OF A-"
"TELL ME YOUR SECRETS, O MAGICALLY MYSTERIOUS HUMAN BEING!"
"I'll tell you anything you want, just let me fucking breathe."
"Oh... Oh dear, I'm sorry. I just got so excited."
She crawled off of my body, her wide haunches dragging off the table. She turned away from me and spoke in a slightly less-loud tone.
"I'm Lyra Heartstrings, but you can just call me Lyra. You're in Ponyville. That's... in Equestria, mind you."
I couldn't - and didn't - mention that I knew all this already. She turned around and faced me, her (very, very blue) snout closing distance with my face. She floated a piece of paper with a long string of words written on it in English. 
"There's a sort of protocol you humans need to follow upon arrival. Of course, no human has ever made it here alive, so you're the first one this protocol has ever been enacted on. You can't go back home, so you need to join our society. Granted, it will be difficult, but as it's my job as Director of Transdimensional Affairs, I'll try to make it as easy as possible."

The hell have I gotten myself into.
> Chapter 1: Playing at the Heartstrings
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	A/N: THAT PUN IN THE TITLE WAS COMPLETELY UNINTENTIONAL, I SWEAR.





The sun princess sat on a ridiculously ornate cushion high atop her palace in the Solar Room. Her forelegs crossed themselves and rested aside her calmly.
“No distractions.”
Her horn glowed with the power of a goddess, and the room shook with a fury comparable to that of an earthquake. 
Her dear sister, Princess Luna was sitting in front of her, on an identically-shaped pillow, but palette swapped to match the Moon Princess’s dark blue coat and overall darker color scheme.
Celestia did this sort of thing all the time for their biweekly chess game. Luna wasn’t amused.
“Tia, art thou going to make thy move, or must we come back another time?”
“No, no Luna. You’re going to want to see this.”
Her horn glowed brighter, and eventually an overglow appeared. Apparently Celestia was straining with the spell. Her lips curled in a pained expression. It seemed the sun god was about to pass out.
And then it all faded, the spell was gone. Or she would have assumed it was, had Luna not looked down at the chessboard.
To the moon princess’s everlasting shock, the pieces of the board had turned to actual soldiers fighting a mock battle. Celestia’s lighter colored army was winning.
Pawn after pawn of Luna’s beloved soldiery fell at the hands of Celestia’s. It was the Nightmare Moon fiasco all over again.
No. This will not happen.
She activated her Royal Canterlot Voice and yelled at her knights whose skill was unbecoming of a royal guardstallion. Miniature ones, but still. 
“GET OFF THY HAUNCHES AND START WINNING! I WANT THE QUEEN’S HEAD ON A SPEAR! DOST THIS, AND THEE WILL BE REWARDED!”
The tiny guards charged forward with renewed vigor, pinning several of Celestia’s Pawns and one of her bishops to the board, before getting slaughtered by a waiting Rook. The wooden carnage was truly something to behold.
“Having trouble, dear Luna?”
Celestia was enjoying this.
“No. No. It’s just a game.” Luna said, albeit unconvincingly.
“Sure. Yes. A game.”
Pretty soon, Celestia’s soldiers had all but won, until the Black Queen, a tiny replica of Luna herself stepped into the fray. Her doppelganger proceeded to sweep the floor with Celestia’s exhausted remaining troops, until there was only Celestia’s queen, a white pinnacle of purity and fiery compassion. It was truly a battle for the ages – Solar vs. Lunar. The Star vs. the Moon. Truly, a magnificent and long battle was about to-
In a tiny flash of light, Luna’s doppelganger was reduced to ash.
“Well, that was anticlimactic.” Luna deadpanned.
“Don’t feel bad. Someday you’ll win.”
A knock sounded throughout the room.
“Tia… the door.”
“You locked it, remember.”
“Oh! That I did.”
Luna jumped up to her hooves and trotted over to the ornate door leading to the rest of the castle. Her horn glowed a deep purple and it swung open.
Standing in the Archway was none other than Feather Duster, Celestia’s sexy-maid-come-trusted-advisor. The maids in the castle wore the skimpiest outfits, and Feather Duster was no different. Of course, hers was slightly skimpier than the rest, her being Celestia’s personal handmaiden and all.
Her light blue eyes stared up at the moon princess. 
“Well, good afternoon, Princess Lunaaa~!” Feather Duster gave a bit of a sing-songy tail to the end of her name.
“Ah, um… Afternoon, Feather. Hast thou come hither to speak to Celestia?”
She closed her eyes and nodded happily. Luna let her in.
“We shall leave for now. If thou need us, we shall be in our room.”
“Actually, Princess Luna… You’ll need to hear this.”
That didn’t sound good. The only occasion that Luna was needed to be present in a day meeting was several years ago, back when Discord-
Okay. Serious face on. This can’t be good.
“What is the problem, loyal handmaiden?” 
“Celestia, please. Call me Feather.”
Tia giggled a bit.
Feather Duster ignored the Solar Princess’s antics and stated the situation in as serious a voice as possible.
“At roughly 8*35 SC (Solar Cycle) this morning, an unknown creature appeared lying in front of the Ponyville Town Hall. The creature was obviously in disarray and unconscious. Transdimensional Affairs picked him up before too much chaos could erupt in the town. The situation’s cover story has been maintained thus far, and it appears we’re in the clear for now.” 
“Who’s the agent in charge?”
“Director Heartstrings is overseeing the situation personally, I’m told. It appears she knows the species relatively well.”
“What exactly is the species’ name?”
“Erm… Hang on, it’s in the casefile.”
Feather reached her head back and rummaged her snout around in her saddlebags. 
Celestia loved the flexibility Feather possessed. It almost made her want to have hot gooey ‘relations’ with her loyal maid.
Finally, Feather Duster pulled out a tan envelope which Luna promptly floated away to look at.
“The creature seems contradictory. No hooves and limited galloping speed. Instead of forehooves, it has… hands of a sort. Similar to the ones Minotaurs and dragons possess, but considerably less bulky. All in all, the being seemingly evolved for bipedal locomotion in an upright fashion, all characteristics of the mythical creature known only as-”
“Humans.” Celestia concluded.
Luna looked up from the file, seemingly in agreement with her sister.
“Prithee, hast thou besought to start the protocol?”
“Heartstrings has apparently opened diplomatic relations with the creature and is addressing that as we speak.”


***


“Ooh, ‘F-U-S-I-O-N’! Triple word score, too!” Lyra announced.
Yeah, I’m playing Scrabble with Lyra. Don’t judge me.
“Don’t get too cocky, Lyra. I’ll want a rematch when I’m not…”
I looked at my bonds.
“…otherwise occupied.”
“You know the rules. I can’t let you free until the psych scan is done. We can’t let a raving sociopath roam the halls of the facility.”
“Yeah, I guess I can understand that.”
We sat in silence for a bit while Lyra stared at the scanner’s screen. This whole place is fascinationg, really. In the show, there wasn’t nearly as much technology as can be found in just this room. Granted, magical technology, but who’s counting?
The machine beeped 3 times, and a printout emerged from a nearby dot-matrix printer. Lyra floated the results in front of her so she could read them.
“Hmm… I honestly couldn’t have called that.”
“What?” I asked.
“Your psych profile is comparable to that of the average pony. Kind, tolerant, Compassionate. Based on some other humans that have come through here, (Well, their post-mortem scans, really) you are basically a Pony among Griffons.”
She may not have thought I understood the metaphor but I did.
“Uh huh.” I said flatly
“Well, let’s get you off of that awful table and down to Integration. It might sound bad, but, despite the name it’s actually really fun!”
Lyra’s horn glowed and my restraints unlatched. I was free.
“Of course, you can’t leave the facility. For one, the resulting bureaucratic incident would be nearly impossible to contain, and there’s the minor fact that simply being in Equestria before integration will kill you.”
“Say what?”
“The magical aura permeating most of Equestria is rapidly lethal to you humans. I believe that to you, it would be comparable to high-intensity Gamma radiation, but on a much higher scale. You’ll die in minutes.”
“Then how am I still alive?”
“This facility has been specially constructed to filter out said magical aura. That, and we got to you quickly enough before the more severe symptoms set in. You’ve actually been unconscious for days here.
“Where was I found?”
“By the ‘Return of Harmony’ monument. It signifies the defeat of Discord by the Elements of Harmony. You’ll learn more once you’re in Integration.”
“Not like I have anywhere else to be. Thanks for patching me up, Miss. We’ll meet up later for that rematch?”
“You bet your sweet flank we will! Bye Joe!”
And with that, I walked down the hall… Perhaps to my doom. But hopefully not.
	
> Chapter 2: Ponification
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	Integration. Lyra seemingly was right when she said it’s perfectly harmless. The name could use some work though. But I still have no idea what the process is.
Lyra was trotting alongside me, her hooves clip-clopping along the tile floor. Her flanks were bouncing happily, and she had the biggest grin I’d ever seen plastered on her face. She was walking at the same, brisk pace I was; that is, fast.
I endeavored to break the overwhelming silence.
“Sooooo… What is ‘integration’, exactly?”
“It’s… Well, you know how caterpillars make a cocoon and transform into a beautiful butterfly? It’s like that, but there’s no cocoon involved, and you’re not a caterpillar. Also it’s a lot faster than that metamorphosis.”
“So what, I’ll become a butterfly?”
“No…”
She stopped walking and looked up at me.
“You’ll become Ponykin, like me!”
She started trotting down the hallway again.
“Oh, okay. That’s- WAIT, WHAT?”
“Look, you don’t want to be trapped down here for your entire life, do you?”
“I… I suppose not.”
We kept walking and entered a large room filled with rather… medieval-dungeon-esque implements. In the center of the room was a raised platform with 4… well, I’d like to say boots, but they were mechanical, and looked like they were designed to clamp down onto a pony’s hooves when they stepped in them. The mechanisms intrigued me, but that was apparently not my destination.
Another Unicorn mare entered the room, and nodded to Lyra who left from whence she came. My new guardian seemed much more serious and detached than Lyra was. Her hair was put up in a bun and she wore a tight leather catsuit.
“My name is Fatale. Welcome to Integration.”
She lead me over to a chair that had straps on its armrests and down in the front for my legs, as well as a neck restraint that looked truly
“This is the integration chair. It’s designed to keep you still for the entirety of the process. You’ll be fitted with a collar that will inject the serum directly into your Jugular Vein. Once the injection is completed, the collar will automatically cauterize the site to prevent bleeding and disconnect. The transformation process will then be activated by an enchanted gem. The magic will scan your innermost personality traits and select a form and species for you automatically. Your name and Cutie Mark will assert itself about 2 days after the fact.
“It will hurt. The pain will be excruciating and unbearable. The serum includes a cocktail of muscle relaxants and neuropeptide blockers to mitigate the agony somewhat, but it still will hurt. A lot.”
“Remind me again why I’m doing this?” I asked sarcastically.
“You have no choice.”
“Riiiiiiight.”
I complied and she sat me on the chair. She bent over and secured my leg restraints firmly before tightening the wrist straps. My chest was then likewise strapped down tightly. She tapped a nearby computer console and the collar encircled my neck.
“Any tips for surviving this with my sanity intact?”
“Pray to whatever god you believe in.”
“Umm… I don’t exactly have one, per se.”
“Then godspeed.”
My neck shifted as the needle went to work.
Oh god, did that serum burn! It continued injecting its bounty for several minutes, and my veins felt like they were made of pure, white-hot magma.
I screamed and struggled against my bonds, tears falling down my face.
Finally, the serum stopped coming.
“Ha… Hu… Is that it?” I stammered.
“Nope.” Fatale said coldly before activating the gem.
Every nerve ending lit up with an unholy fusion of agony and pleasure. My body shifted around, it structure rearranging itself. Bones broke and reformed, skin stretched and rippled about.
Throughout my sensory haze, a single voice sounded.
“You’re one difficult man to find, Joseph.
Discord?
“Oh yes. Don’t forget our deal, human. I’ll be waiting. And watching.”
I blacked out.

***

Fatale was lost in her thoughts.
Hmm… This one is different. He actually stayed awake through most of the process. He is resilient. Hardy. He would make a good Earth Pony or Pegasus.
The agonizing transformation had left Joseph unconscious after about halfway into the process. Now, his blacked out body just slumped in the chair, unmoving. He no longer had ‘arms’. In fact, he only had four legs. His body was colored a bright orange, and an unkempt mane capped his head in its black sheen. His tail was likewise colored and fell down between his rear legs.
Fatale had a unique perspective with this sort of transformation. One thing that stood out right away to the discerning mare was the converted human’s genitalia. For one thing, the balls were positively massive. Sure, the size of his actual colthood wasn’t anything to shake at, but those balls. Those bucking balls. They were the size of oranges, and gravity pulled them down to the floor, upgrading their ostensible size to grapefruits.
The naturally dominant mare allowed herself to stick her tongue out and drool a bit.
Scrumptious.

***

My head throbbed with pressure.
“Soooooo,” Fatale pined, her demeanor considerably warmer.
“That a basketball between your thighs or are you just really happy to see me?”
I peered down and saw that, yes, I had indeed become a pony. My legs were stout but thick, and my body was pretty buff, if I do say so myself.
But… Wait, Basketball?
My gaze shifted downwards, past my broad chest, and onto…
What. The. Fuck?
Yeah. I was 100% Pony. Even - neigh, especially - the naughty bits. 





Author's Ramble: 
In their tongue, he is Ponehkiin,  PONYBORN! HE'S THE LORD! F*CKING COOL, OH MY GOD, ME GUSTA! HE'S NOT GAAAAAAAAAAYY! (yes he is) OOOOH MY GOOOOD!!!


*Runs out of the room while all his favers chase him*

> Chapter 3: That Part Where Everypony Bangs
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


Achievement Unlocked!
That Part Where Everypony Bangs
> This is That Part. <





‘Femme Fatale’ was apparently her full name. I honestly couldn’t have called that. 

I paid no attention to my surroundings, and just laid there catching my breath. My body was brand new. Literally - as Femme explained, my body’s cells were that of a just-born foal. Of course, I had the age of a mature Stallion, but my cells had DNA that was fresh – hot off the presses, as it were. 
If a doctor had thought to take a close look at the proteins, they would find that my DNA didn’t show the degradation a stallion of my apparent age would possess.
Thus, I might look like a fully-grown stallion, but would actually live one-and-a-half times as long. Go figure. 
I looked up for a moment and saw Femme peering over my tired body. The catsuit-wearing mare just could not take her eyes off my colthood.
“Take a picture, it’ll last longer.”
She apparently realized what she was doing and promptly reeled herself in, refocusing on the task at hand.
“Guh- Err, Right. Moving on… So, there’s a few general things you need to know.”
She turned around and retrieved a book from a nearby metallic shelf.
“One: Study this. It has everything you need to know about Equestria – our resident species, neighboring kingdoms, historical periods – including our recent history as well.”
She floated the book over to me and I picked it up with my… hooves? Those will take some getting used to. The book had an ornate cover, but was oddly small for the information she said was inside it.
“You sure? This looks more like a contact book than a ‘Great Big Book of Everything’.”
“Pocket edition. It’s enchanted to automatically expand to its full size once you open it.”
“Riiiiight.”
I lifted the dinky little cover, and as expected, the book swelled to the size of a massive dictionary like one of those ‘Home-Growable Dinosaurs’. Good god, it was heavy. I promptly closed it, and it atrophied back to a more manageable form.
“And?”
“Aaaand that’s it. However, there’s one minor thing you won’t find in that.”
“Meaning what, exactly?”
“…You’re a Stallion. You see, in Equestria, mares like me outnumber you colts almost 30 to 1. Measures had to be put in place to ensure we don’t all die out. To that end, Celestia sanctioned the ‘Fucktoy’ Initiative. That’s not really what it’s called, but I like ‘Fucktoy’ better.”
“So what, Stallions are your sex slaves?”
“Oh no, dear! You misunderstand me. In each city in Equestria, there is an unmarked building with many rooms that are sound-insulated and specially built. The only identifier that the building is more than ordinary is the symbol representing colthood – a triangle pointed up. The Stallions of Equestria are expected to enter these buildings every Sunday and donate their… Erm… ‘Love Juice’. It's seen as a cultural obligation, even an honor!"
“The process is actually enjoyable, so I’ve heard. It also assists Stallions who are being driven wild by mares in heat or otherwise have ludicrously increased sex drive, preventing them from giving in to their base impulses. It also gives Equestria an alternative to the ‘slavery’ that frankly, we couldn’t bring ourselves to do."
“And if I think it’s gross and wrong?”
“You’ll get used to it. But I know that that’s not how you feel about it, honestly. Lyra gave me your psych Eval, and, as it turns out, your deepest fantasy is, and I quote-”
She levitated a familiar print-out and cleared her throat.
“To be strapped to a medical table, have a vacuum milking machine attached to my penis, and my balls emptied for hours on end.”
“… Does the Psych Eval really include that tidbit?”
“Oh yes. Yes… It… Doeeessss.”
She put a sensual and disturbing emphasis on the end of that sentence.
“In any case, though, that is more or less exactly what’s going to be done to you today, and on those many, many Sundays to come. You just need a training session for now on a machine identical to that found in the clinics. Alas, to my everlasting disappointment, that is not my job. That honor belongs to our trained team of Professional Lovers. First, though, I need to get you situated."
She unhooked me from the chair and led me back to the center of the room, the raised platform and 4 boots I saw earlier.
Oh. So that’s what that’s for. 
“Step into the boots, if you would.”
I pushed my rear hooves into them first. The front halves clamped down onto them, seemingly triggered by my weight. I wiggled a bit, finding that the clamps were solid. I wasn’t going anywhere.
“Aaand the front ones.”
Complying, I pushed my forehooves down into the last boots. Like the rear ones, they instantly slid back to trap me in place.
“The rear clamps are on a gimbal system. Once the procedure starts, your rear legs will be spread apart and a special support will rise up from the floor, cushioning your lower body. Then a sheath emerges from the form-fitting support, to start the process. Our standard ball-cups aren’t big enough for your… veritable grapefruits of testicles, so your partner will bring a flexible one. They’re not sturdy enough for prolonged use, mind you – but for this training session, they’ll do fine.”
She paused for a moment, apparently contemplating what to say next.
She was behind me at the moment, and I couldn’t see what she was doing. Apparently, she was staring at my balls.
“…Terribly sorry, but I… I just have to.”
“Have to whaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!”
With me completely immobilized, Femme Fatale apparently saw the chance to strike. Apparently, she could no longer contain herself, as I felt her tongue starting to lick my huge balls.
“Mmmph!” She vocalized, and sucked roughly on my left nut. 
Before long, my turgid member erupted from its sheath, throbbing and pulsing with the fire of a solar flare. 
She released her vacuum hold on my balls and stood up, apparently happy for the moment.
“Darn shame I can’t go any further. Oh well, after this is done, I’ll be in my bunk for a while.”
“Anyways, the two partners we have on staff today are War Shield and Nocturne - a stallion and a mare, respectively. Depending on your choice, I can have them both here for playtime… or just one. And no, ‘neither’ is not an acceptable answer.”
“Soooo, What… ahem, liaison do you want?” She said, obviously expecting an answer. 



Choose your path wisely, Dear Reader...
Straight (Nocturne) | Gay (War Shield) | Bisexual (Nocturne, Fatale, War Shield)


> Chapter 3.5: Straight Version
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


STRAIGHT Version


“The mare, if she’s willing.” I said.
“Alright. I’ll call her down. Nocturne’s kind of a recluse, but a reputable maniac when in the haybales, as t’were.”
Fatale left the room.

***

About 5 minutes later, a dark-purple colored mare strolled in wearing a slightly sultry expression. 
“Somepony order a mare?” she said sexily.
“Hmm… I believe I did. You must be Nocturne.”
“What gave it away? My dark blue pelt?”
“Hmm, pretty much… I’m Joe, by the way.”
“I know.”
She trotted up in front of me and produced the expected cup. It had a small hookup on one end for a vacuum tube, was open on the other, and was made of a soft rubber. She licked the silicone ball-sheath on the inside, fluidic saliva coating the entirety of it. She was supposedly lubing it up, but since I had seen a bottle of lube not 2 feet away from the machine, I concluded she was just intentionally teasing me.
“Oh you cruel, cruel mare, just put the damned thing on…” I whined.
She giggled. 
“What’s the magic woooord~?”
“Umm… Please?” I posited.
“Good boy.” 
She reached down and stretched the sleeve over my engorged nuts and attached a vacuum hose to the sphere. It instantly applied a sucking sensation to my entire sac. 
“AAAAh! Aaaah!” I moaned. The cup was pulling, sucking, and  swelling my balls into an even larger state, and I’m not sure that’s even possible.
“Let’s start the other pump, yeah?”
I heard her push a few buttons and a machine starting to click nearby me.
I tilted my head down and saw a section of the floor directly beneath me sliding back, revealing a form-fitting… I’d like to say ‘Sybian’, but it was obviously more specialized than the ones humans use. It had indentations for my legs to fit in, as well as a clamp that was pretty obviously designed to wrap around my back and pin me to it. In the middle of the wondrous gadget was a ridged section that slid back and forth, and on one end it had a little sheath, not unlike the one currently violating my nutsack.
The highly iPod-like machine locked into position around my front legs, while my rear legs were basically put into a split. 
“Nnng!” My body was still new, and not very flexible. The machine didn’t care at all.
The ridge on the gadget slid backwards, wanting my dick to slip inside it.
My member was still rock solid after Femme’s little cocktease earlier, and it took to the milker easily, the machine locking the final bits into place.
“Let’s turn up the heat.”
The ball-sucking sac increased its intensity. At the same time, the milker activated, giving me a tremendous mechanical blowjob.
“Ffffffffffff- Aah! Aah! Aaaah!”
By this point, my four legged body had completely succumbed to the pleasure and whims of the machine. For a few hours, It owned me. 
My dick was on fire. The pleasure and the agony combined into one hell of an experience. Some pre-cum shot out into the canister. For a moment, I forgot Nocturne was even there.
Only me. And the pleasure. The overwhelming pleasure.
It felt so good. Between the suction on my orange-sized balls, the pumping happening to my dick, and the sheer fact that I couldn’t do anything to stop it - what some people and ponies would call torture, I called heaven.
Again, I forgot Nocturne’s presence. She then saw fit to remind me by shoving her sweet plot in my face. 
“Lick. Now.” She demanded.
Her pussy was so soft. Her nectary juices flowed wildly and her scent… Oh lord, her scent.
As a human, I wouldn’t have detected it. As a pony, I didn’t just detect it. I loved it – It drove me crazy.
I pressed my tongue against her folds and licked rapidly in my horny, depraved haze.
“Ghhhhhnnnnnughghg”
Her sweet taste was just enough to send me over the edge. I kept licking while my body fought against my restraints. My penis throbbed with the intent to burst.
Finally, my balls twitched and send a massive load streaming out the head.
“Aaaaaah! Aaaaah AHHHHH!!”
A nearby plastic canister filled up with my white load to the top.
“Aren’t you one hell of a Specimen…” Nocturne mused.
Of course, my job wasn’t finished. 
I kept licking her marehood, the scent still driving me wild.
Eventually, I hit the right spot and she moaned loudly, caught in the thralls of orgasm.
“Ooooh, Oooh, Oh Celestia, I- I’m cumming!!” She pressed her folds against my mouth, creaming hard. I sopped up all her lovely fluid I could.
“Hah… Hah… You’re not bad, Lover. Joe.”
A revelation suddenly dawned on me – a flash of knowledge. Now I know who I am.
“My… My name…”
On my flank, the icon of a monkey wrench faded into existence.
“My name is... Tinker. Tinker Spyglass.”




> Chapter 3.5: Gay Version
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	
GAY Version


“I’m more of a stallion guy. I’ll take him.”
“Your wish is my command – I think you’ll be very pleased. War Shield can be kind of rough, but he knows the limits of your new body. Perhaps even better than you do.” 
Fatale left the room.

***

Roughly 10 minutes later, a musclebound stallion walked in, and oh Celestia, was he a specimen to behold. His coat was a pale red, almost the color of shale. He stood tall and proudly – a military stallion, perhaps?
“You must be War Shield.”
“Indeed ah am. Shall we get started?”
“Straight and to the point. I like that.”
He acknowledged my acceptance and trotted up behind me. Gripping my member that was still rock solid from Fatale’s cocktease earlier, he slid my engorged balls into the silicone sheath, which promptly tugged roughly at them, swelling them to an even larger size.
Shield walked a few paces away towards a console mounted in the well.
I heard his hoof collide with few buttons and some gears starting to click nearby me.
I tilted my head down and saw a section of the floor directly beneath me sliding back, revealing a form-fitting… I’d like to say ‘Sybian’, but it was obviously more specialized than the ones humans use. It had indentations for my legs to fit in, as well as a clamp that was pretty obviously designed to wrap around my back and pin me to it. In the middle of the wondrous gadget was a ridged section that slid back and forth, and on one end it had a little sheath, not unlike the one currently violating my nutsack.
The highly iPod-like machine locked into position around my front legs, while my rear legs were basically put into a split. 
“Your body’s not exactly ‘broken in’, so to speak. Just chill and let it happen.”
I like Shield. He seems like a pretty cool guy.
The ridged gadget slid over my engorged member while Shield took up a position in front of me, his eyes meeting mine.
“Reeeelaaaax…” He said sensually.
He just smiled and locked his lips with mine in a hot embrace. His tongue shifted about in my mouth.
Without relinquishing the embrace, he reached over and activated the glorious gadget wrapped around my gently gesticulating genitals.
All at once, the ball-cup started tugging and sucking harder. If I could see my colthood, I would probably see it was a bright red color.
He kept up the sloppy and wet French kiss for several seconds, and then moved back, balanced on his left foreleg and reached back to coax his massive cock out of its sheath. While he was doing this, he had a highly endured expression on his face.
The massive stallion stepped forward, reared up and planted his forelegs on the small of my back, then slid them down the sides of my torso. His member was now swaying itself proudly in front of my face.
“C’mon, be a good little beeyotch and choke on my dick.”
I grinned happily.
“You got it.”
I planted my lips on the head of his 20-inch long cock and sucked softly. He moaned in approval, his flanks trembling with pleasure. 
I guess this wasn’t enough for him.
“I… said…”
He suddenly thrust forward with all of his might, the entire length ramming itself down my throat.
“CHOKE!”
He pulled it out a bit, allowing me to cough and let some air in, and then promptly plowed back in. Tears, a mixture of joy and pain streamed down my face. All the while, the machine kept sucking away at my balls and dick – it had no mercy, and seemingly, neither did Shield.
After what felt like hours, he finally withdrew. I was glad it was over. I didn’t know how much more I could take. But…
Shit. He didn’t come. 
He positioned himself behind me, his cock still rock solid. I just huffed, flipped my tail up, and braced myself.
“Good boy.”
Like in my little deepthroat only moments ago, he reared up and placed his forehooves around me.
“Prepare your anus.” He said.
Before I could prepare anything, he thrusted himself deep inside my ass. It felt so painful… But oh so good.
I vocalized my pleasure out loud for him.
“Ow! Oooh, Ow! Aaaah!” 
He kept at it, his dick flying in and out at ludicrous speeds, absolutely destroying what little dignity I had left.
Suddenly, his dick started to swell and pulsate. He huffed, almost ready to climax. 
“Oooh, I’m going to cum inside you, boy!”
“Do it, Do it! DO IIIIIT!”
His balls complied and pumped a load inside me. With further thrusts, he came even more. The sheer overwhelming force of his thrusts and massive spurts of cum filling me pushed me over an edge I’d been straddling for a few minutes now. 
I came. I came so hard – entire volleys of semen shot out of my dick, into the sheath, and filled a nearby canister to the rim. He collapsed on my back, seemingly spent.
"What did you think, loverboy?"

I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS! | IS THAT ALL YOU GOT?!

> Chapter 3.5: Bisexual Version
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


BISEXUAL Version


This is the “canon” end. The next chapters will assume this… thing is what really happened.


“HAHA! Are you kidding? BOTH! AT THE SAME TIME!” I announced in a playfully wild tone.
“Hah! I never thought you to be that kind of guy. I think they’ll be fine with it. But most transdimensional beings aren't Bisexual, and they are... rather enthusiastic when they get one that is."
Fatale left the room, grinning like an idiot for some reason I’d rather not fathom.


***


Eventually I heard the door hiss open, signifying the entry of my supposed lovers. Course, I couldn’t see behind me.
I called out backwards, hoping for a response.
“Hello?”
Nothing. I tried again.
“HELLO?!”
“Your reputation precedes you, oh big-balled one.”
The voice was feminine and flighty, but I didn’t recognize it. 
Another voice sounded out behind me.
“Nocturne, must you be so needlessly dramatic?”
Male. Big fella too.
“Oh come on, War Shield. ‘s not like this happens all the time, you know!”
“Truly. Most of the time they just pick the straight route. Also known as you.”
“Well, some of them pick you, you know.”
“But very few pick both. And that is why this is rare. And also why I am here as well.”
Wait. I think I know that one. Sultry, Female. Dominative.
Femme Fatale. 
Hah! That explains the dorky smile!
“Fatale. I thought this wasn’t your job.” I said, half frightened but half aroused.
“It isn’t. But I made a little deal with our supervisor. After all, the lovers shouldn’t have all the fun.”
I shifted in my restraints a bit. My balls flapped against my thighs, creating a loud flapping noise.
Nocturne giggled a bit at this amusingly erotic display of slapstick.
“Ooooh, aren’t you one hell of a specimen!” she said sultrily.
“Nnngh…!”
Femme’s little cocktease from before left me with bright red balls and an even redder cock. Oh, Celestia have mercy.
War Shield spoke up upon seeing my rock-hard colthood.
“Looks like the pipes are clogged. Think we should give him a helping hoof?”
“Not yet. We should have some fun first.”
I tried to beg for release, and found I was so hot and horny that I could only groan at my new masters.
“Please don- NNNNNNNGG”
War Shield approached me from behind, apparently enjoying the sight of my helpless form.
“Don’t what? Don’t do… THIS?!”
He promptly poked my huge sac with one of his forehooves, applying painful, painful pressure to my already swollen nuts. He then took the pressure off for a moment, allowing me to recover and talk for a moment.
“I… I… Want…”
“What do you want? Hmm?” Fatale teased.
“I want to be fucked. I want you all to fuck me. Damn it all, just FUCK ME!”
War Shield paused for a moment, looking at Fatale and Nocturne.
“Attach the milker first.” Fatale said, reverting to her “Cold Sadistic Bitch” personality for a moment.
While War Shield was getting the gadgetry ready, Nocturne crossed over to where I could see her. She was a beautiful mare – darkly coated, darkly maned. She had curves in all the right places.
Wait. Why am I thinking these thoughts about a pony?
The answer dawned on me. Becoming a pony, a stallion was messing with my head. The spell not only changed my appearance – it changed the way I thought and saw the world. For all intents, meanings, and purposes, I was a pony.
I felt my balls sucked into a small sheath, vacuum pressure engorging them into an even larger state. 
“NNNNG- AAAAAAAAGH!”
Sweet mother of mercy, my balls ached for release!
Shield walked a few paces away towards a console mounted in the wall.
I heard his hoof collide with few buttons and some gears starting to click nearby me.
I tilted my head down and saw a section of the floor directly beneath me sliding back, revealing a form-fitting… I’d like to say ‘Sybian’, but it was obviously more specialized than the ones humans use. It had indentations for my legs to fit in, as well as a clamp that was pretty obviously designed to wrap around my back and pin me to it. In the middle of the wondrous gadget was a ridged section that slid back and forth, and on one end it had a little sheath, not unlike the one currently violating my nutsack.
The highly iPod-like machine locked into position around my front legs, while my rear legs were basically put into a split. 
“Your body’s not exactly ‘broken in’, so to speak. Just chill and let it happen.”
“Indeed,” Nocturne stated. “It will hurt at first, but just relax and eventually it will start feeling great!”
“Alrighty then. Prepare to be fucked within an inch of your life.”
He positioned himself behind me, his cock as hard as a diamond. I just huffed, flipped my tail up, and braced myself for the inevitable violation.
“Good boy.”
As he prepared to enter my ass, Nocturne shoved her ever-sexy plot into my face with a determination and deep-seated cruelty I thought only Fatale would be capable of.
“Lick. Now.”
Her pussy was so soft. Her nectary juices flowed wildly and her scent… Oh Celestia, her scent.
As a human, I wouldn’t have detected it. As a pony, I didn’t just detect it. I loved it – It drove me crazy.
I couldn’t resist - I pressed my tongue against her folds and licked her marehood thoroughly.
Eventually, I hit the right spot and she moaned loudly, caught in the thralls of orgasm.
“Ooooh, Oooh, Oh Celestia, I- I’m cumming!!” She pressed her folds against my mouth, creaming hard. I sopped up all her lovely fluid I could.
“Hah… Hah… You’re not bad, Lover. Joe.”
I ran my tongue over my lips and cheeks then greedily swallowed the remaining juices she had given me.
“Your juices aren’t so bad either.”
She pushed me playfully, and I managed a grin.
Nocturne walked away to watch from the corner. I admired her sweet plot from afar, grinning the whole while.
“You’re not done yet.”
So much for enjoying the afterglow.
Apparently ready to fuck me hard, War Shield plunged his entire thickness into my ass. Oh god, it hurt!
“NNNNG-AAAAAAAAGH!” 
At the same time, Fatale trotted over to the milker’s  panel and activated the gadget all the way to 100% power.
The ridged gadget slid over my engorged member while Femme Fatale took up a position in front of me, her turquoise eyes meeting mine in a hypnotic dance of Equine sexuality.
“Just Reeeelaaaax…” She cooed.
She then smiled and locked her full lips with mine in a hot embrace. Her tongue shifted about in my mouth, and mine reciprocated in hers.
The pump and ball-cup sucked on my turgid colthood incredibly roughly and without mercy.
She kept up the sloppy French kiss for several seconds, while War Shield kept pounding my asshole with impunity. Before he came, he stopped and withdrew his spasming member, leaving my anus a short while to recover.
Suddenly, Fatale relinquished her lock, allowing me a moment to breathe. I thought she was only doing it out of generosity, but as I opened my eyes to look at her, I realized that War Shield had stopped plowing me only to start plowing her! His huge member moved in and out of her pussy over and over again – she locked her eyes with mine, tears of joy flowing down her face.
“Aaaaaah! Aaaaaah!” She moaned in pleasure loudly.
Entranced by this new development, I did the only thing I could. I locked my lips with hers, in an odd mirroring of what she had done to me only moments ago. Her eyes widened in surprise, then slowly settled into a more sultry position.
All the while, the machine kept at my dick, sucking and pulling. The vacuum was relentless as it was powerful. 
War Shield was close to his ‘big finale’. I knew it. Seemingly, Fatale knew it too well, as she pulled her folds off of Shield’s turgidity, flipped him onto his back and started sucking him off, first rolling her tongue up and down his shaft, then taking it in. All the while, her pussy was exposed and in my face.
I took full advantage of the situation, and started licking as revenge for her little cocktease earlier. First slowly, then a bit quicker. I lapped at her juices like a dog at a water bowl. I stuck my tongue inside, its length undulating and wobbling like a snake.
She let out sighs and moans of ecstasy, which only encouraged my advances. War Shield had already came, and was on his back recovering, breathing fast. I was getting close too – my dick was starting to pulse and emit some early pre-cum into the tube. 
Suddenly, Fatale started to climax. She pressed her folds up onto my face and shot her nectar all over my face – Being the gentleman that I am, I sucked up as much as I could. The taste of it was enough to drive me over the edge. My balls spasmed and undulated, shooting load after load after load into the sheath, that pumped it away into the container in front of me.
“NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNG!!!”
Oh god, it felt soooo good!
Soon, my balls felt completely and utterly empty. There was not even a drop of cum left in them. I collapsed in my restraints, falling onto the milker’s surface in utter satisfaction, my tongue flopping out of my mouth as I started to pant. I probably had the silliest expression on my face right now – probably a mixture of exhaustion and uninhibited bliss.
Around me, the ponies who had shared my bliss had collapsed into a massive pile of horse. Nocturne had been out for a while, since she’d just clopped her way through the rest of the session after she was done with me. Fatale was resting her head on War Shield’s crotch. I noticed her chest was rising softly as she caught her breath and her face had a huge smile on it.
Her ears peaked, and her head rose a bit, looking at me.
“I knew there was something different about you, Joe. Now I know exactly what. If you had a cutie mark, it would probably be for licking pussy.”
“Heh, not likely. In any case, my cutie mark isn’t supposed to- huh?!”
On my flanks, the iconic cutie mark of a wrench crossed with a magnifying glass had apparently faded into existence. In addition, a surge of knowledge shot through my equine brain. I know who I am. 
“My… My name…”
“Your name? What?”
“My name is Tinker... Tinker Spyglass.”
“Pleased to meet you, Tinker.” Fatale cooed, understanding.
“Heh… Likewise.” I squeaked out through my sex-induced haze.






A.N.:
I’m sorry for the “Slapstick” pun. No I'm not.


> Chapter 3.5: Gay Version, Ending 1
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	"I CAN'T FEEL MY LEGS!" I yelled dramatically.
"Your feeling'll come back. Stop being such a damned pansy, Joe.

A revelation suddenly dawned on me – a flash of knowledge.
“My… My name…”
On my flank, the icon mark of a wrench faded into existence. I now know who I am.
“My name is... Tinker. Tinker Test.”
"Hmph. So it is..."
"...Pansy." He added.





> Chapter 3.5: Gay Ending, Version 2
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

	"IS THAT ALL YOU GOT, MOTHERBUCKER?!"
Shield panted in exasperation.
"Pretty much. Though, I have this friend that I think will like you. A lot."
"I'll send him down soon as I can, Joe."

A revelation suddenly dawned on me – a flash of knowledge.
“My… My name…”
On my flank, the icon mark of a wrench faded into existence.
“My name is Tinker.”
"Yeah. My friend's name is... Well, He's kind of a celebrity around here. I'll let him introduce himself when he comes by."


***

About 15 minutes after my escapades with War Shield, I was still strapped to the gadget. It wasn't running, per se.
Suddenly, I heard a big stallion trot up behind me.

"You must be War Shield's 'friend' he mentioned."

"Eeeeyup."

OH. FUCK.