Pet Peeves Revamp

by Whoddoit

First published 26th of February, 2019

Due to an incident involving an ancient empire the Mane Six switch places with their pets.

Notice: Because of recent developments within FiM which tie directly to this story the original plot-line is no longer possible. As such, this is on hiatus until such a time that the current plot is fully defined.
Disclaimer: This is a reboot of this canceled story. It is recommended to read the prologue chapter of that story to understand this one.

---

The magic of friendship flows through every creature, big and small. They just need a little push in the right direction. Tired of living under their masters' neglect, insanity or just plain monotony, the pets all desire (in one way or another) to take life in a new, more exciting direction.

When a mysterious curse is laid on the Elements of Harmony, turning the bearers into pets and their pets into ponies, the misfits embark on a dangerous trek to break it. What was originally meant to be a quick trip around Equestria turns into a harrowing journey that expands from the comfy suburbs of Ponyville to the forgotten ruins of an underground kingdom to the biting tundra of the north, all filled with odd characters, laughter and an evil that has lasted for generations as the pets each embrace their inner hero. Because as we all know: the greatest of legends always start with the smallest beginnings.

Chapter two but it takes place before Chapter 1 Part 2.

Wrapping it up for the night, Twilight headed back to the crystal/tree/castle and quickly went to sleep on account of how late it had become. That night both Twilight and Owlowiscious had strange possible connected dreams. Both were in a seemingly infinite black void. The only other entity Owlowiscious could make out was a purple owl, while all Twilight could make out was a Griffin. Neither was sure of how much time had passed nor had they attempted to communicate before they were surprised by a sudden third entity in the void with them. A wall of green text appeared right before them, somehow not "mirrored" for either.

Loading TambelOS, please hold.
Disk located, please hold.
Running Start-Up procedure, please hold.
Hello, $USER. Welcome to the TambelOS Version 0.0.1 "Memory Crystal" Edition. This system is property of the Colorification Initiative. Copyright $DATE - $DATE
@AutoScript (command):>run curse
Activating protocol "Curse", please hold.
*NOTICE: This operation has been performed by the internal automatic scripting system and not an actual user on the network currently.
Welcome to Harmonic Curse. Establishing connection to Harmonic Crystals.
Complete: 6 elements online
Accessing internal anchor clock
Complete: Date correct
Initiating $UNTITLED "transfiguration" protocol
Complete: Discord possibly MIA
Estimated waking of related entities in:
10
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1
And then right on time both owl and pony awoke. Or, perhaps former owl and pony. Twilight immediately recognized this as a transfiguration spell, and soon after realized it would be hard to undo without a horn. While they could be annoying transformations are nothing new to one of the greatest magic users in all of Equestria. Twilight, unsuprising, began to recall a book. "So, You've been transformed?" specifically. Magic Kindergarten stuff. Using the procedures from so long ago Twilight began to determine what the transformation entailed.

The key factors to figuring this out were:

• A lack of a horn.
  Still present wings.
  And possibly most noteworthy, a massive decrees in size.

Twilight looked down, seeing a bird-like body. It was in this act Twilight remembered that the castle is covered with reflective surfaces. The destruction of the library has it's upsides. Looking at one of these surfaces Twilight was in all honesty a little let-down and relieved that an owl stared back. After turning into a breezy, an alicorn, a filly version of yourself, Starlight's musicbox thing and many other odd things a purple owl isn't really that strange, if albeit a minor inconvenience.

Twilight correctly guessed that this form did not retain the ability to speak Ponish and it lacked a horn to cast a reversal spell and examine the actual spell that caused it. "Who" Twilight said somberly. But it did raise an interesting question: Who was behind this? Twilight has many enemies both politically and personally, at least one of which was no stranger to transfiguration and still roaming Everfree. Turning one into an owl is such a strange way of showing it though. Why would anybody want to do that? Perhaps an animal-rights group? Could Fluttershy be involved somehow?

If Fluttershy was involved it probably wasn't malicious or even rude. Does that mean it could have been an accident? Did the pony behind this even realize what it did? Generally spells of this nature you realize what they do before you cast them. Which means-
Twilight was interrupted by a loud creek that sounded like the bedroom door but louder. Twilight briefly glimpsed somebody through the doorway and realizing this is likely a home invasion promptly hid which was actually pretty easy now. Twilight for the first time in a while was legitimately scared. Somebody had broken into the castle and preformed a transfiguration spell. Not something to knock Twilight out, not something to turn invisible, not something rational. Leaving one explanation: This invader is not of a sound mind. The idea of an insane man breaking into the castle in the middle of the night is generally disturbing.

"Twilight?" He called out. Oh Celestia he knows my name.
"Twilight, Something weird happened. I'm a griffin now." He's not right upstairs. What does that even mean?
This was interrupted yet again by an even worse noise: Footsteps. Small footsteps that could only belong to a certain dragon. Said dragon screamed. This was followed by the unnamed griffin screaming, both of which screamed for longer than either would like to admit.

"Who are you?!" The understandably scared dragon shouted.
"Spike, Listen to me: I'm Owlowiscious." The griffin responded.
Both were simply silent for a shorter but still admittedly long period of time.
"Like, Twilight's bird?" Spike responded.
Twilight didn't hear anything but assumed there was a nod.
Again, Silence. That seems to be a pattern.
"Do you mind telling me how...this happened?" Spike asked, now more confused than scared.
"I was just wondering the same thing."
They both turned to Twilight's bedroom, which was still dark, and realized at the same moment that Twilight was not present.
"I'm gonna go out on a limb here and assume that you don't know where Twilight is either." Spike said to the griffin, who nodded "yes".

Twilight, realizing that now was a good time to come out, flew to the bed, face failing to convey any emotion.
"Yeah of course." Spike sighed, a few moments before Owlowiscious fully understood the implications of what just happened.
"Is that...?" Owlowiscious asked, receiving a simple glance from Spike.
"Oh dear."
"Come on Twilight, let's see what spell went wrong." Spike said holding out his finger which Twilight promptly perched upon. Spike seeming bigger revived some unpleasant memories involving the "hat incident", which were quickly alleviated. Both progressed down into the "magic room" in more silence that Spike broke.
"Hey, no hard feelings about the "Twilight's Assistant" thing, Right?"
"Hm?" Bucker thinks he's intellectual. Spike thought.
"You know, when Twilight first got you and we didn't really...mesh well." Spike clarified.
"Oh that. No we both know who the best assistant is anyway." Owlowiscious said with a wink that Spike didn't comment on.
Reaching the room containing Twilight's more recent tests, the bird flew over to the desk and began speaking in a complex string of "who"s with different inflections. Spike looked dumbfounded but Owlowiscious seemed to have some recognition.
"This one?" He said walking over the the same bookcase and taking out the pen, resulting in Twilight nodding.
"You still speak...that?" Spike asked.
"It's Owlish. And yes, I recall how to speak my own tongue." He responded.
"Can you talk to Twilight?"
Owlowiscious looked down at the bird, hard, before making noises similar to a very poor imitation of owl noises.
Spike was surprised but didn't show it.
Twilight, again, had said something inaudible to Owlowiscious.
"Twilight wants us to write a letter to Celestia." Owlowiscious translated. He then got to work writing while Twilight who'd at him with an occasional "yes" and "uh-huh".
Spike picked up the finished product and was greeted with a rather literal mess of chicken scratch.
"Maybe I should write the letter."

Dear Princess Celestia,

This morning I awoke to find both Twilight and our pet Owlowiscious transformed. Twilight is now an owl while Owlowiscious is a griffin. That's why Twilight can't write to you. Please respond ASAP.

~ Standing in for your most faithful student, Spike the Dragon

Spike sent the letter internally cringing at how much less poetic it was than the ones Twilight writes or helps him to write. He was glad Twilight didn't see it, knowing Twilight there's be a panic and something related to Celestia "banishing me to the ocean" or whatever.

At first, Spike was slightly worried that Celestia may be asleep but a look outside confirmed that the sun was indeed moving up. It was actually higher than he expected, in the middle of all this chaos he had started to lose track of time.

Wait.

Wait.

This should have been obvious.

Spike, facepalming and not the slightest bit amused, called out seemingly in the sky:
"Bat God of L'gy'hx, the Trickster of Enterprises, show yourself!" in a way that seemed to shake the very foundation of reality. Both Owlowiscious and Twilight stared at Spike, unnerved by the uncanny silence that followed. It was one of those moments that seemed to last far longer than it actually did. Except for Spike. He just seemed annoyed.

"YOU PUNY KNIGHTS DARE CALL MY NAME?" A voice boomed from every direction.

"Dude what did you do this time?" Spike asked gesturing to Twilight and Owlowiscious.

"Oh what ever do you mean?" Discord asked, popping out of the ink well in such a way that it seemed that he had always been there.

Spike just looked back, unamused. Twilight and Owlowiscious simply looked at Spike confused.

"It's his self-insert for when he's the GM." Spike clarified at the other two who didn't seem to understand but figured that was the point.

"Oooh, you mean the species swap thing? Scouts honor, I had nothing to do with this one." Discord replied with a string of visual gags that would be very cluttered to describe in this format.

Discord is many things, but not a liar. Actually he lies frequently. But it would probably be funnier to tell the truth this time, ergo he's not lying Spike reasoned. Spike swears sometimes jokes form in his head just when he's thinking about Discord. Discord is yet to claim to read his thoughts yet, however.

"Can you just change them back?" Spike asked, briefly questioning why they don't just use Discord to solve most problems, then remembering that would be to cruel for the villains.

Discord complied, or tried to comply, snapping with no clear results.

"Well?" Spike asked.

"Ok look, I'm just as confused as you are."

Spike just stared back somehow even more disappointed and unamused looking.

"If I was really going to get around fixing it do you think I would do it in such a boring way? Come on Spike, Give me a little credit."

Spike, knowing Discord and comedy tropes in general, believed him. Discord snapped a few more times and mumbled something about "Einstein being right."

"Do you at the very least know why it's not working?" Spike asked.

"It's not my fault this time, I swear! I can tell when it's my fault. But it's on their end this time. When I reach in to change them it's off." Discord said almost defensively. If Spike didn't know any better there seemed to be some regret in that line.

"What do you mean "off"?" Spike asked, more intrigued than anything at this point.

"Well it feels kinda like how things felt before...things. Actually, very much like this one thing I know. But that thing is dead." Discord said. He didn't mention that he superseded it, They met because of a mutual interests before Discord cut ties with it when it became apparent how little it actually cared about Chaos, instead being driven by revenge and it's rants about "other worlds". Discord didn't like thinking about that thing. Back then he was still evil but he wasn't that petty.

Chapter 1, Part 2

“Class,” she announced to the herd of chattering young ponies, “we have a new student here with us today!”

The herd then went silent and looked to the front of the room, all gathering in the new sight. And then the whispers started.
Where did he come from?

Who is he?

Is he nice?

Could he be a changeling spy?

Why haven't I seen him before?

"Now, is that a polite way to introduce a new friend?" The teacher asked to nobody in particular. "Why don't you introduce yourself?" Cheerilee asked turning to Angel. "Can you write your name on the board?" Angel was silent, and clearly very irritated. Despite his silent fury, he still picked up the chalk with his mouth to show that he shouldn't be patronized to the point of being treated like a filly.

The resulting writing was comparable to the flight patters of dragon over the last several moons, but to everybody including Angel it looked more like poor writing. Angel didn't admit it to anybody even himself but he was starting to consider if maybe he should be treated like a filly.

The class actually had somewhat good self-control, except for Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon who acted like it was the funniest thing they had seen in their lives. This was mended by Cheerilee giving a stern look that Angel knew all too well from Fluttershy. Cheerilee understood that they were cruel but also realized that they probably didn't know what such poor hand-writing and seemingly coming out of nowhere with no education meant: poverty. It's honestly a shame Angel and Diamond got off on the wrong hoof, if they hadn't there's a good chance they would've gotten along perfectly in their mutual lack of properly functioning empathy.

Because of their utterly spectacular treatment of outcasts, Angel was seated next to the CMC. Most of class was honestly unnoteworthy. It mostly consisted of Angel sitting clearly pissed while Cheerilee went on about math and grammar. He had his fair share of glances followed by more whispers from the class. This pattern kept up for what felt like an eternity until recess, at which point the CMC and Angel gathered in the play-yard. As in the CMC cornered him. "Ya like bake'n?" Applebloom asked, gesturing to Angel's cutie mark.

Angel was momentarily confused, before looking at it for himself. "Oh that...Actually I'm not sure what that's for." Angel was startled to say the least when he looked back up and saw three fillies that were very excited. It almost seemed like they had stars in their eyes. "Are you...okay?" Angel asked almost cut off by: "We can help you find what your cutie mark is for!" in unison...creepy. It was this moment that Angel remembered the horrifying fact the Fluttershy knew several cuite mark obsessed children.

They actually were around Angel somewhat often before they got their marks, always coming over to find their "special purpose" or whatever. Fluttershy was always helping them with animal-related skills and such. He actually answered the door for them a few times when Fluttershy was...busy. Come to think of it, he operated the door all the time. Relying on your pets to interact with people actually might not be that good of a sign for Flutter's mental health. "Cutie Mark Crusaders Animal Psychologists" probably didn't help either.

It was the moment after this Angel realized letting them know about a transformed animal gaining a cutie mark may be a terrible idea on account of the endless stream of questions that it would cause. Angel, being no stranger to lying, quickly formed a plan and identity. This thought was cut short when he realized that the CMC had somehow been moving closer that whole time, now almost touching his face. He could swear their necks were stretching.

"Listen that's very...nice" he said, pushing the statue-like ponies away from himself, "But I'm not really interested in what it means." Surprisingly, this seemed to work. For the rest of the period Angel sat silently while staring off into the nearby forest. Cheerilee watched all of this from the window, slightly worried about the potential complication of an anti-social foul. After class, Cheerilee would go down to the Ponyville Police Office to figure out where exactly this kid's parents are.

The rest of class was rather uneventful, even less than the first half. Angel learned about numbers, letters, and Ponish's complex relation with pictograms. The paranoid whispers had gone down, not to mention they now lacked changeling-related implications as the class realized how politically incorrect that is these days.

When class ended, The CMC were assigned to Angel while Cheerilee went down to the PPD¹ Office to report an unattended foul. To outsiders it may seem strange to have three more fouls watch one foul, but the CMC are more capable than many grown ponies. They spend hours on end in a treehouse with just themselves and have done so for years, one grumpy foul isn't going to through that much of a wrench in things. They also wouldn't need to tell the CMC's respective guardians as they often undertake projects in said treehouse after school without telling anybody, even eachother. They have been known to wordlessly gravitate to it without the slightest hint of a plan.

Come to think of it, They hadn't seen Rarity or Applejack all day. Applejack has been known to sleep in after a hard days work so Applebloom went to school without a second thought. A similar case applies to Sweetiebelle, who went to school without having any concerns about Rarity still apparently being in bed. Rarity has before slept far into the day for "beauty sleep" and over-reacting to every small event takes a-lot of energy. After all, you can't be the element of generosity if you aren't generous to your own body. Granted, the elements in their crystal form seem to be having some problems at the moment, and not because they broke in the season 9 trailer. Something long forgotten turned on with an eye for the elements. A horrible machine from a war lost before Equestria started. Something Discord hopes will never come back.

On their way to the treehouse, Applebloom could've sworn there was somebody that didn't work at the farm of in the distance but brushed it off as one of the many hard to keep track of family member or a farm-hand. As they climbed up the ladder Angel simply flew up to the deck, making Scootaloo a little jealous. It was at this point Mr. Bunny wondered how he actually knew how to fly, it had seemed to come naturally. Same with speaking Ponish now that he thought about it. Fluttershy's purple friend will probably write a whole book about it. He can see it now:

The Strange Case of Angel Bunny

By Twilight Sparkle

It would go on to explain how the event was similar to those involving the mirror and "humanoid world". He briefly wondered if he has a counterpart there. Is he still a bunny? Fluttershy never really talked about the place. Gummy claimed to be able to see through his plush counter-part but then again it's...Gummy, who also claims to have a psychic connection with Pinkie Pie and be a literal "zombie". Nice guy but he has a questionable relationship with the truth. Smart too, but he doesn't show off. Angel likes somebody that keeps to himself, although it sometimes gets...disturbing.

Back at the treehouse, the CMC were sitting in a half-circle just staring at Angel. He didn't even remember sitting across from the semi-circle, it was as if he just suddenly manifested there. And considering the things he's seen these fouls do, there's a good chance that's what happened. Come to think of it, maybe they'd get along better with Gummy than him.

"So..." Angel broke the frightening silence.

"What were you doing right before you got your cutie mark?" Sweetiebelle asked, possibly without an inhale.

"Well I was...baking."

They all nodded, in perfect harmony.

"A cake. And then I got my cutie mark."

The CMC all, again in unison, changed looks to that of poorly hidden disappointment. Internally, they wanted to ask "You didn't figure it out?" and other potentially insulting questions, that when coupled with Angel's already apparent poor performance at school would not help one of the easiest to anger being in all of Equestria.

"Is that all?" Scootaloo asked.

Angel nodded, slightly off-put by the sudden lack of nightmarish actions.

"So your special talent is baking!" The CMC half-shouted at the exact same time, warranting a "there it is" thought from Angel.

"Yeah...I guess it is."

Is this just how you have conversations with most ponies? No wonder Fluttershy is so...shy. Huh. Ponies apparently have naming down, too.

They just kinda sat in silence, Usually CMC projects last longer than this, sometimes even a full day. "Well, I'm gonna get heading." Scootaloo said after an unclear amount of time, with that the aformentioned filly began to climb down the ladder. This was followed by an "Awwwww" and "You guys have gotta come see this!" Nearly running down the ladder, the rest of the CMC and Angel saw Scootaloo holding a strikingly colorful turtle, making very frantic clicking noises. Unlike Fluttershy's noieses, Angel could understand them this time.

Upon closer inspection, the turtle seemed injured. Its shell was covered in scratches and mud, like somebody threw it into the ground very hard. Looking back it seems to have come out of the forest near Applejack's farm. Its limbs and head seemed fine, likely because of the shell. It was around the time of this realization that Angel started to pay attention to the clicking noises, most of which were variations of "Put me down Scootaloo!" or something similar.

Now, Angel might not be a rocket scientist exactly, but it didn't take long to figure out who this turtle was.

Footnotes:

¹Ponyville Police Department