> Magic on Sweet Apple Acres
>  by Blade Star
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Prologue - A Magical Farmer
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

My name is Blade Star. Bones to my friends. I’m not a doctor by any stretch of the imagination though. The nickname was given to me by my dad, mainly because my current appalachian accent is somewhat reminiscent of ‘Bones’ McCoy from Star Trek. And on one occasion, I said to him ‘Dammit, Dad, Ah’m a unicorn not a universal translator’. That pretty much sealed my fate, although I must admit, it has its charms.

And to be fair, Blade Star isn’t my real name either. I gave myself that name when my family and I found ourselves in the Everfree Forest, lost and deeply frightened. It was worse for me though, I lost my humanity in there. Through means that not I, nor Twilight or even the princesses can fathom, I was turned into a unicorn. I’ve been that way ever since, grey coat, blue mane and all, including my own cutie mark.

I’ve spent the last few years living on Sweet Apple Acres, a farm not too far outside the town of Ponyville, near Equestria’s capital of Canterlot. I originally stayed here as a guest until the princesses could send me and my family home. But when it became clear that we were all stranded here, it became a permanent thing. I now live and work on this farm, helping the Apple family harvest their namesake, as well as a variety of other crops, not to mention our famous cider.

It was also where I met my marefriend, Applejack. The two of us got along quite well when I first arrived, and I spent a lot of my time helping her out on the farm. Over time, our relationship changed. Well, for her it did. In the fashion of most males, I was entirely deaf to her advances until Rarity, ever the matchmaker, slapped me across the face and told me not to lead her on. It was actually quite a challenge for me. Being an asexual, I had no real interest in romance, which was only compounded by bad experiences in my youth. In the end, it took a visit from Princess Mi Amore Cadenza herself to help me see the light. Ever since, the two of us have been in a strong, albeit strange, relationship. We’ve been going steady for a few years now. Between you and me, i think parents on both sides are wondering when I’m going to pop the question.

Outside the farm, there is my other passion; magic. Transformed into a unicorn, I have the ability to cast magic myself. Twilight Sparkle, another princess,  was kind enough to help me pick up the basics and prevent me from having to attend magic kindergarten at the age of twenty two. The young alicorn has also helped me with my own projects and research. I may not be powerful, but magic will always be fascinating to me, and I love studying all its varied aspects. With any luck, one day i may even get close to understanding the Elements of Harmony.

There is one thing I’ve left out, I suppose. I should tell you that I’m living in a world of fiction, although I suppose the magical technicolour ponies would be a bit of a giveaway. Well, it’s sort of true, I suppose. You see, back on Earth, I was very much a fan of MLP; a brony, to use the slightly cringeworthy term that fans have given themselves. Even before I came here, I could tell you that Celestia raises the sun every morning, and that pegasi control the weather. So imagine my surprise when I found myself in that world. It explains why I’m a little more adjusted than the other members of my family. Sorry, that sounds a bit conceited, doesn’t it? In any case, it made those first few days and weeks a little easier for all concerned. But it is a strange thing. I still wonder from time to time if I ever crop up in the show.

Speaking of my family, there’s three of them. My dad, Roger, has been working for Princess Celestia for a few years now. Like me, he was looking for work as soon as it became clear that we wouldn’t be heading home any time soon. He used to work as a solicitor back home, specialising in criminal law. As a result of that, and his impartiality as a human, Celestia offered him the position of legal advisor to her court. Essentially, he’s a walking, talking rule book for her to consult when she needs to. He’s also good friends with Discord; Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony and ever annoying thorn in my side.

Then, there’s my mother. She was actually happily retired before we wound up in Equestria. But after spending a couple weeks alone in her new home, she decided to go back to work. As a former teacher, she was able to get a job with Cheerilee at Ponyville’s schoolhouse. She’s good friends with the Cutie Mark Crusaders and has even helped the formerly evil Diamond Tiara deal with her psycho of a mother.

And then there’s my little sister, Elisabeth, with a S, but everypony calls her Lizzie for short. She was by far the most shook up by our unexpected trip to magical multicolour pony land. When we first met the Mane Six, she was all but petrified. Fluttershy however, managed to help her, and took her in during those early days. While Mum and Dad moved into their own place, having previously stayed in Twilight’s old library, she opted to stay with Fluttershy, who was happy to have a companion and somepony who would stand up to Angel.

So, that’s all of us. We live pretty good lives all things considered. But every now and again, fate or villains like to intervene.

And, yes, sometimes I do follow in the hoofsteps of Twilight Sparkle and screw up a spell.

These are some of those little, and not so little incidents.
> Chapter 1 - Finding Peace
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Stepping out of my room, I found the house pretty much empty. I was a little late in heading off to Twilight’s castle, and so AJ and the others, along with my little sister had gone one ahead of me. While it was a shame I didn’t get to spend some time with my marefriend, at least I could rest assured that she wasn’t about to be ponynapped again.

Today, you see, was an important affair. Twilight’s castle was to host two very important events simultaneously. Firstly, awards would be given to Starlight, Trixie, Discord and Thorax for helping defeat Chrysalis and save Equestria from a second invasion attempt. But today would also mark the signing of the first official peace treaty between the Kingdom of Equestria and the Changeling Empire. With Thorax now firmly in charge up there by all accounts, the initial ceasefire was being rescinded and replaced with a proper peace treaty. There was even talk of the two nations becoming allies, like the Griffon Kingdom.

I wasn’t quite sure what to say about all that. Sure, I was glad Chrysalis had been dethroned and a more moderate leader put in her place, but I couldn’t help but see the whole affair as unfinished. Until Chrysalis was in jail or in a box, I would be on my guard. Those same changelings now glad to be our friends had also been quite happy to attack our princesses after all.

But the political workings of Equestria were not my domain. At the end of the day, close as I may be to the Element of Honesty, I am just an apple farmer who occasionally dabbles in magic, with a particular scientific interest in the darker side of magic.

Still, if there is one thing living here in Equestria, and watching MLP before that has taught me, it’s that it never hurts to have a backup plan. If there had been another guard able to cast the shield spell, the first attempt on Canterlot would have been beaten off, if Celestia had had a contingency in place for when Discord betrayed her, Tirek would have been dealt with in a trice.

So, I had set my mind to this contingency. If the powers that be would not act, I would. As I’ve said already, I have a decent understanding of magic. But unlike ponies, I have the imagination to use it for more military matters, as a weapon, rather than a mere tool.

Smiling to myself, I thought of the manila folder sitting on my desk in my room. That was the result of a few weeks of labour on my part, and I saw it as a viable fall back option, should we ever face another recurring villain. In fact, I’d designed it with our insectoid friends in mind.

I’d called it FOXDIE. Yes, I have always been a fan of the Metal Gear series. But my new spell was also given that name because it was inspired by that virus. You see, in the game, FOXDIE was a virus capable of targeting certain individuals based on their genetic makeup. You could release it into a populated area, and it would only kill it’s target. Others would carry it, but the virus would never activate. Think of it as a biological version of the Stuxnet computer virus. When FOXDIE activated, it caused the target to expire from what appeared to be a heart attack.

My own creation was somewhat similar. Instead of targeting the heart though, mine targeted magic. Everything in Equestria has some form of magic in it, passive or active depending on the species. My spell was programmed to seek out a certain magical signature, which is just as unique as a person’s DNA. When it found it, it reversed the polarity of the energy. That not only deprived the target of its magic, but also caused a cascade reaction throughout the body. When Tirek took ponies’ magic, it left them in a weakened state, FOXDIE did the same thing. It wasn’t fatal by any means, but it would stop any attack.

I’ll admit, it was a dark thing I did. But I told myself it was for the best. Ideally, it would never be used. It would be like the nuclear bomb, an unthinkable deterrent should we ever face a situation Twilight and her friends couldn’t solve. Nopony except me would ever know about it. But it would be there, quietly waiting for the spell that would activate it.  .

For it to work though, it needed to be in every potential enemy. There had to be a carrier. Thus, I nominated myself as Patient Zero. It would spread through Equestria in the manner of a virus, through magical contact, such as when one unicorn passes something to another in their magic. For the moment, the primary target would be changelings. In the event that Thorax was not a stallion of his word, or Chrysalis retook her throne, it would be a simple matter of sending out the activation signal, and then every infected changeling would feel the effects of the spell inside of thirty seconds. Even if not all of them carried it, the shock would be enough to stop any attack.

Hence why I was now heading out the door to Twilight’s castle. I needed to meet Thorax; firstly, to see how trustworthy he was, to get to know him, and secondly, to ensure he was infected. If he had it, FOXDIE would spread through the hive like wildfire.

Now, of course, I knew Twilight wouldn’t agree with such action, nor would the princesses. As much as it pained me to keep things from them, particularly Luna, I felt that I had no other choice. Sometimes, good men must do terrible things to make the world right. I’d agonised over that decision for weeks. It hadn’t actually taken me that long to perfect the spell. It had been the idea of using it that had given me pause. And even now, I hoped to Celestia that I would never have need of it. Conversely, never again did I want to see her ponynapped from her home and suspended in a cocoon.

It was with this in mind that I stepped out of the kitchen and into the bright sunny morning. To anypony else, it was just another lovely, peaceful day in Equestria.





As I made my way off the farm towards Ponyville, I couldn’t help but once again feel in two minds. The reason I was doing all this, my justification, was to protect Equestria, its inhabitants, and my friends.

But at the same time though, I was going against everything Equestria stood for. To this day, I know of only two beings that have been outright killed when they crossed paths with Twilight and her friends. Neither of those were intentional on their part. In fact, Twilight had apparently been unsettled by Sombra’s demise for weeks. Revenge was just not in the nature of ponies.

It is in mine though. As much as I know it is wrong to do so, I harbour grudges. I don’t forget people who have done me wrong. If I’m honest, I’ve never been able to understand how ponies can seemingly shrug off even the most terrifying ordeal. Look at the most recent one. None of the princesses, or even Starlight, are really concerned about what Chrysalis might do next. She’s still alive and I know she’s planning something.

That was why I created FOXDIE. Not out of a need for petty revenge, but to plug a gap in my homeland’s defences. If we were to face another incident like that, it would be from new blood, not a previously defeated, resentful foe.

As I came into town, I tried to put the whole matter to one side. I hoped that I was wrong in my fears. Perhaps Thorax would not only be a stallion of his word, but we would be able to capture Chrysalis without trouble. She is a lot less of a threat now. With no minions to aid her and her base of operations knocked out, she has far fewer resources to call on. But then again, neither did Tirek.

I just needed to get this out of the way. The briefest contact and it would be all over. I wouldn’t have to worry. I could enjoy this peace for what it was. And hopefully my mind would not be haunted by images of all my friends suspended in cocoons while vile insects sat in their chairs around the Cutie Map, taking orders from their queen.

As I walked up to Twilight’s Friendship Castle, the issue of FOXDIE continued to play on my mind. For all my reasoning, I hated going behind my friends back like this. I don’t know what I’d do if the day ever came that I had to use it.

The castle was already lively when I got there. Guards were stationed at the steps, briefly checking each pony and changeling that passed them. A formality, nothing more. I certainly had no trouble from them.

Heading through the door, I found myself in the great hall of the castle. Pinkie Pie had evidently had a hoof in all this. There was no missing her party supplies. I quickly picked out Twilight. The young alicorn was talking to her mentor, and curiously taking frequent glances at Starlight. I couldn’t hear what they were saying ,but Twilight seemed to be having one of her breakdown moments.

So I turned my attention to the rest of the room. I quickly picked out Applejack, who had arrived a short time before me. She just as quickly spotted me and waved me over. I was glad for that. I needed somepony to talk to right now.

“Applejack!” I called out as I trotted over to her and embraced her in a hug. “Sorry Ah’m a little late.” Applejack smiled and passed me a glass of punch.

“Ain’t nothin’, sugarcube,” she replied warmly. “Though Ah was startin’ to wonder if y’all had gotten lost.” I laughed at that and took a sip of my drink.

“Applejack, Ah’ve been in Equestria for a few years now. Ah reckon Ah know Ponyville and Sweet Apple Acres almost as well as you do.” The orange mare smiled at me, giving me a knowing look.

“So how’s the party going then?” I asked. I wasn’t sure if I’d missed the awards ceremony or not.

“Princess Celestia and Princess Luna are just ‘bout to give Starlight and the others their medals.” She shook her head in disbelief and gestured to Discord, who was with Trixie and Starlight. “Never thought Ah’d see the day when Discord was getting a medal for savin’ Equestria.”

“Ain’t that the truth,” I agreed. “Say, where’s that changeling, Thorax, that helped them all out?” AJ pointed him out; he was talking with a couple other multicoloured, holeless changelings.

“Me and Rainbow Dash were talkin’ with him a while ago. Seems like a real nice fella.” I looked and thought for a moment.

“Well, Ah s’pose Ah ought to go introduce myself too. Ah’ll see ya in a minute, AJ.” The two of us quickly nuzzled each other before I walked over to the new leader of the changelings.





Thorax was a lot bigger than your average changeling. He was actually about the size of Celestia or Chrysalis. His body was a mixture of greens, yellows and oranges. Of particular note though were his...I suppose you could call them antlers. He looked somewhat like a stag, a far cry from the single gnarled horn Chrysalis boasted. I wondered if he could use magic like her, or was he only able to shapeshift?

The new king, although I don’t believe he’s taken that title himself, quickly noticed my approach and broke off from his companions, quickly closing the gap with me.

“Hi there,” he said, in a voice that was far from threatening. “I’m Thorax.” He extended a hoof, which I gladly shook.

That was all it took. My horn didn’t glow or anything too obvious (although given how nopony noticed that Cadence’s aura had changed when she was replaced, I doubt it would have made a difference), but I did feel my magic activate for an instant. It was no more than a levitation spell, but I knew my dark little creation had done its job. FOXDIE was now quietly attaching itself to Thorax’s magic.

“A pleasure to meet ya,” I replied. And in more ways than one too. “Ah’m Blade Star, but most folks just call me Bones.”
Thorax was a nice enough guy. Friendly, peaceable, a little timid perhaps, but who am I to judge? The other changelings seemed to respect him enough, at least if his little security detail was anything to go by. No matter what else I might have previously or currently thought about changelings, I won’t knock their military skill. I can easily admire and respect such masters of guile.

The two of us chatted for perhaps five minutes or so. I found him to be quite well informed and intelligent. He certainly seemed to want to take the hive in a new direction. And he definitely didn’t strike me as being a warmonger and thief like his predecessor. Still, it was nice to know that I had my own little ace in the hole.

I watched as, every now and then, some changeling or another would come up to him. It was more than enough for FOXDIE to spread. I’d say that almost all the bugs were infected by the time we were done talking.

Although, to be fair, there were a few exceptions that I’d written into FOXDIE. There are some ponies, who’s loyalty and trustworthiness are beyond reproach. And one of those ponies was Strong Shield. A disguised changeling he may be. But he once, in an unfortunate chapter of my past, gave me and Shining Armor his word of honour that he would never betray Equestria. Having known him for some time, I had taken that word as his bond. And for that, I had exempted him. Strangely though, even disguised, he wasn’t present. I’d rather hoped that with this peace, he’d feel able to reveal himself.

But like I said before, I was hopeful that my spell would never be needed. It would just be there as reassurance, like carrying a revolver under your jacket. You hoped you’d never need it, but you’d still be glad that it was there.





After talking with Thorax and a couple other changelings, I made my way to some of my friends. I went to congratulate Starlight and Trixie, and reluctantly, Discord, on their success. As much as that trickster annoys me, he had come good when the chips were down. It more than made up for any lingering resentment anypony may have felt as a result of Tirek’s escape. The same could be said of Trixie. Saving Equestria certainly squared away her earlier misdeeds involving the Alicorn Amulet. Heck, the same could be said of Starlight.

Speaking of Twilight’s slightly unstable student, I learnt from her what the alicorn had been talking to her mentor about.

Apparently, Twilight had decided that, as a result of her actions, Starlight had learnt from her everything she needed to know. She had thrown off her equality philosophy and fully embraced the magic of friendship. Just as Celestia had only given Twilight the basics, the rest, Starlight would have to learn on her own.

Of course, this brought up the possibility of Starlight leaving Ponyville. Twilight had had a number of ideas. She could go back to the Changeling Kingdom with Thorax and help the changelings learn about friendship (after all, they would be in serious need of a teacher), or she could perhaps spend some time in the Dragon Lands, working with Dragon Lord Ember, helping her teach the dragons. They too, perhaps even more so than changelings could do with a teacher. And there was also the possibility for her to go to the Crystal Empire. Having rekindled her friendship with Sunburst, the two could become quite the force. With his knowledge of magic, and her raw power, the two could help further magical science.

Each of these ideas however, left Twilight feeling uneasy. Like a mother hen, she was fussing and fretting. Every option she somehow managed to find the worst possible outcome. If the changelings did kick off again, Starlight would be in grave danger. Among the dragons, she’d be decidedly vulnerable. And one miswritten glyph could inadvertently open up a portal to the Void, which would drag in her, Sunburst and the entirety of the Crystal Empire.

Luckily, ever the voice of reason, Celestia was there to help her former student. She too had apparently agonised over the decision to send Twilight to Ponyville. Although in her case, there was a lot more riding on her student’s success.

In the end, Twilight had decided to keep Starlight close by for the time being. I could understand her reasons. While Starlight may no longer be a villain, I wouldn’t feel comfortable sending her off on her own unsupervised. She still tends to suffer from Twilight’s old failing of trying to solve every problem with her magic.

I chatted with Starlight for a while as well. I hadn’t set the spell to target her, Trixie or Discord. That was mainly because in the case of the latter, due to its nature, I’d not been able to find a way to get FOXDIE to recognise and identify chaos magic. And let’s be honest, what would the world be without Discord?

As much as I tried to shake it off, that guilty feeling stayed with me. I know I can live with that. If push ever comes to shove, to somewhat quote Captain Benjamin Sisko; a guilty conscience is a small price to pay for the safety of Equestria. Still, I’d rather nopony ever found out about it.

I was startled out of my renewed melancholy by Princess Luna. The dark alicorn had spotted me standing off on my own and had come over to strike up a conversation.

I have been honoured to call her a friend almost since that first week in Equestria, when my family and I were taken up to Canterlot. Whenever she has a quiet night watching over the Dreaming Realm, she will sometimes drop into my dream to spend some time with me. After Applejack and my family, she is the most important pony in my life. You could even make the argument that I made FOXDIE to safeguard her as much as anypony else.

It was rare though, that the two of us got to meet in person. I was kept busy by my commitments on the farm, almost as much as she was kept busy by her court and nightly duties. And that was discounting her reversed sleep schedule. To her, this was like being up at two in the morning.

“Luna!” I called out, trotting over to meet the alicorn. Most ponies who knew her outside of court were permitted to call her by her name. After her long absence, she’s been wanting to connect with her subjects. Dropping her princess persona among the populace has certainly helped.

“Greetings to you, young Blade Star,” she replied warmly. Her voice no matter how I try to ignore it, still has a touch of Rarity to it. She’s also one of the few ponies out there who calls me by my given name, rather than ‘Bones’.

I paused mid stride and offered a half serious bow, causing the alicorn to giggle.

“A pleasure to see you, as always, princess. How have ya been keeping?”

“As well as you might expect,” she replied. “Now that Captain Shining Armor has finally finished shouting at both my and my sister’s guards for failing to prevent our ponynapping, life in the castle has returned to normal.” I did my best to avoid grimacing at the image her words invoked.

“Ah heard scuttlebutt sayin that he’d relieved his own replacement on the spot,” I said in agreement. “Is that true?” Luna nodded.

“Indeed,” she confirmed. “He’s starting interviews this week and has a few candidates lined up for mine and my sister’s approval. Although I must admit, it has been strange these past months not having that stalwart unicorn around. But we could hardly ask him to keep travelling back and forth between the Crystal Empire, certainly not with little Flurry Heart to care for.

“But what of you, Blade Star. How has life been on Sweet Apple Acres?” I shrugged my shoulders and smiled.

“Oh, same old, same old,” I replied. “Ah’ve been keepin’ myself busy with a few little side projects here and there.”

“But how have you been?” Luna repeated, this time with more concern in her voice. “I know you all too well, my friend. You’ve been needlessly berating yourself for your perceived failure. And I know that this whole affair has brought difficult memories back to the surface. I have had to help you sleep peacefully more than few times this past moon.”

I found myself smiling. She could read me like a book. The mare knew me possibly better than I knew myself. She was right. Why else had I set myself to creating FOXDIE? And it was true, my sleep had been troubled by nightmares. Still, as much as I admired her, respected her, and perhaps even loved her, I was not about to tell her what I had done.

“It has been difficult,” I confessed, struggling to keep eye contact with her. I’ve never liked to admit weakness. “But Ah’ve been gettin’ better. The nightmares have ended, thanks to you, and we’ve all slowly been gettin’ back to normal. C;mon, Luna, Ah went through the same thing when Tirek got lose. This ain’t my first rodeo.”

That last comment caused Luna to giggle behind a hoof.

“I am glad to hear that, Blade Star,” she said, sounding more relieved. “The whole affair has shaken up more than a few ponies, my sister and I included. And I know it pains you to sit on the proverbial sidelines.” I smiled at her.

“True, but Ah also know that friendship always wins out in the end,” I replied.

That was true. When Tirek had escaped and come calling on me, I’d held onto that belief. It had been the only thing that had kept me going, weakened as I was from having my magic ripped from me. Still, given the choice between what actually happened, and the opportunity to have Celestia, Luna, or anypony else but Discord go back and stop him before he got out of hoof, I’d much rather the former.
Luna paused at that and frowned. I was a little surprised at her reaction.

“Do you truly believe that?” she asked, now sounding far more serious. I found my own eyes darting back and forth as she gazed at me.

“Of..of course, Luna,” I replied, a little hotly. The Princess of the Night continued to frown however.

“Come away for a moment, Blade Star,” she said, her tone now downright ominous. “Let us talk somewhere more private.” She gestured for me to follow her.

I quickly did. If I knew anything, it was that one did not disagree with a princess when she used that tone of voice. She’d gone from an informal conversational tone, to a commanding one that brokered no argument. I walked behind her and slightly to the right; the way a junior officer ought to accompany his betters.

Luna took me into the library. The place, like its predecessor, was absolutely stacked with books on almost every aspect of magic, no matter how obscure or ancient. Right now though, it was entirely empty. Even Twilight was too busy spending time with Celestia and Starlight to squeeze in a quick study session. So we had the place to ourselves.

The door magically closed behind me as I entered, and I hadn’t even had time to think when Luna rounded on me. She wasn’t angry, that made it worse really, anger I could deal with. Instead, she just looked disappointed in me.

“I know you’ve done something, Blade Star,” she said simply. “What is it?”

I was amazed. How could Luna have found out about FOXDIE? Nopony knew about it but me. All the notes I’d made on it had been destroyed as I went along. Literally, the only evidence of its existence was the activation spell, which had never left my room. So how in Equestria had she found out?

“You forget how sensitive alicorns are to magic,” she went on. Ah, yes, that made sense. “When we spoke just now I felt something touch my magic, for an instant, before recoiling. What was it?”

I stood there in silence for a moment as the alicorn stared down at me. I felt like a scolded schoolboy. I did my best to explain what it was.

“It’s a high level dampening spell,” I explained. “Specifically created to target certain forms of magic. The spell passes from pony to pony on contact and then binds itself to their magic. If the magic type matches, and it receives the proper activation spell, the dampening field inverts the polarity of the fields, dispelling any kind of magic, active or passive.”

The look on Luna’s face told me what she thought. She was shocked, outraged, appalled.

“Why would you create something like that?!” she exclaimed in horror. I took a breath. Of course she wouldn’t understand. A thousand years, and she still can’t understand it.

“Insurance,” I replied simply. “My spell is designed to target changelings. If, no when, Chrysalis returns, we shall have a contingency. A back up plan in case Twilight, you and your sister are incapacitated.”

Luna turned, and walked away from me a few paces. To my surprise, I actually heard her let out a laugh, though it sounded completely hollow. She walked over to one of the bookcases and began browsing as she spoke.

“You know, I was just talking with my sister about how some ponies must learn the same lesson over and over before they change,” she said. “It seems that you are one of them. Tell me, Blade Star, why did you create this spell?” I was perplexed by her question, but walked over to join her.

“To protect Equestria, and my friends,” I replied. Luna looked at me again, a small, sad smile on her face.

“Nothing else?” she prompted. I shook my head, causing her to let out a sigh. However, a moment later, she seemed to find what she was looking for, and pulled a book from one of the higher shelves.

“You see,” she went on. “I think it is something more simple. You are hurt. And now you wish to hurt those who wronged you back.”

I should have guessed that she’d think that. Celestia knows I once had a real problem with changelings. From minute one in Equestria, I didn’t care for them. It all came to a head when, through rather complicated circumstances, I found myself sent back in time and altering history.

I killed Chrysalis on the eve of the royal wedding.

That messed me up inside for a long time. The paradox I created ended up causing the timeline to revert back to its canon form, so I was never really there. Still, it left me shaken by my own actions. Only a select few even know what I did. But it did cause me to change my attitude.

“Ah’ve had my vengeance,” I replied. “And Ah learned to let go of that hate.”

“Then why create a spell specifically designed to take away their magic and put them all in agony?”

I took a breath as I tried to explain.

“Ah won’t see you put in danger again. Ah won’t sacrifice Equestria for friendship with an enemy. Both times we’ve met these bugs, we’ve gotten lucky. We’ve never truly faced up to them, and now isn’t the time for compromise. There’ve been too many already. They invade our capitol and we fall back, they try to take over our entire nation, and we fall back.” I hadn’t realised that I was raising my voice. “Not again. The line must be drawn here; this far, no further! And by Celestia Ah will make them pay for what they’ve done!”

Luna listened to my increasingly impassioned speech in silence. It wasn’t until I’d actually said it out loud that I realised what I’d said. It was only then that I realised that, despite everything, I hadn’t changed a bit. I was still selfish, driven by a desire for vengeance. I was willing to put my own desires above friendship; the greatest form of magic, just to get back at one bad bug. I let my shoulders sag and struggled to look up to Luna. No doubt she now thought even less of me that she already did. I felt a nudge at my shoulder and found a book hovering in the air in front of me.

“I may not be an expert of human literature,” Luna said. “But I believe that this book may be of help to you, young Blade Star.”

I looked up and could have laughed. It was Moby Dick. I was going the way of old Ahab, wasn’t I? I was obsessed by a need for vengeance. And in my heart of hearts, I knew that it would eventually push everypony else away. For pony’s sake, what if I ever used FOXDIE? What would they have all thought of me?

I found myself half sitting, half collapsing onto the crystal floor. Luna was quickly at my side, wrapping a comforting wing around me.

I like to think that, being in Equestria, being around the magic of friendship, that it has changed me, that I’ve become a touch more equine than human. But really, at the back of my mind, there’s always been that darker half of me; the bit that would, if given the chance, turn magic to a more sinister purpose. I’d been falling and hadn’t even noticed. And yet I claim to have an understanding of dark magic.





Luna and I sat together for some time, just talking. I cried a little. It all came crashing down around me. Ever since the attack, I’d tried to brush it all off and say it didn’t affect me, but it clearly had, or I wouldn’t have tried to do something so stupid. All those bottled up emotions just came pouring out, the fear, the anger, the self-loathing. Luna did her best to reassure me.

“My little pony, I told you the very first time I stepped into your dreams, not everything is within your power. It isn’t up to you to defend us, nor is it your responsibility. You cannot blame yourself for every time a monster or invading army appears on the horizon. And you know that, no matter what, friendship shall win out in the end. The conflict between ponies and changelings is over. And not because of a final thrust of the sword, but because one side chose to embrace the other as friend, rather than foe. To my mind, there is no greater victory.”

I looked up at the alicorn and smiled for the first time. It was just what I needed to hear.

Of course, there were still a couple issues to work out. There was no way to actually remove FOXDIE from the infected changelings. But I could ensure that it never activated. After having Luna briefly teleport me back to my room on Sweet Apple Acres, I destroyed the activation spell and deactivated FOXDIE’s ability to spread by magic. It would remain in Thorax and anypony else it might have spread to, but it would never go any further.

That day was, without a shadow of a doubt, the closest I’ve ever come to falling to the influence of dark magic. I wondered how much of my actions had been influenced by my human side, and how much was the fault of the dark spell that was FOXDIE.

Still, I’d been brought to my senses again, thanks to Luna. The two of us agreed to keep my actions secret for the time being. Unless the spell caused problems, there was no reason for anypony to know. I was glad of that. I felt miserable enough for disappointing Luna.

The two of us returned to the party, and I threw myself into it with gusto. I chatted with all my friends and also went over to speak with Thorax again. This time, to simply talk, rather than secretly implant a near lethal spell on him.

And to think, once upon a time I made fun of the show for having Fluttershy learn the same lesson over and over again.
> Chapter 2 - Better the Devil You Know
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was several days since the awards ceremony and the signing of the final peace treaty. From that moment on Equestria and the Changeling Kingdom were at peace. While there was not yet any formal treaty of alliance, the two nations had drawn up a non-aggression pact, just as Celestia previously had done with Dragon Lord Ember. It marked a step in the right direction in any case. For the time being though, the once tyrannical state was drawing in its horns to focus on internal matters, such as reorganisation, disarmament and something akin to denazification.

So I put our former foe out of my mind. In fact, as uncomfortable as that day had been, it had proven to be a major turning point for me. Although, as Luna herself had said, I’ve learnt this lesson more than once. The trick now will be reminding myself not to forget it. And the test of that will come the next time we face a major crisis.

I’ve fallen into the habit of trying to count off important incidents in Equestria, to try and anticipate when we may face the next major threat that requires the Elements of Harmony. It had worked, sort of, prior to Chrysalis’ attack. I knew something would be coming, I just hadn’t spotted it in time.

So now I was trying again. There had been two incidents in Ponyville of late. Firstly, the awards ceremony. Curiously, I don’t think that would be a typical two parter episode. It seemed like it was all over too quickly, even Twilight’s little problem over what to do with Starlight. So I counted that as just one. The second came to me through Granny Smith. I heard over dinner how the poor mare had been temporarily taken over by Starlight’s negative emotions. It all had something to do with the silly mare trying to literally bottle up her emotions when Trixie was ticking her off.

That too seemed like par for the course as far as episodes were concerned, so now I was keeping my eyes peeled for episode number three. Assuming I was right, the magic number would be twenty four. After that, we should see something major happen. I was planning on sending my findings to the princesses. While the show may not be the world, if we could use it to sort of predict when major incidents would occur, it might give us all a heads up.

But I had a few other irons in the fire at the moment. The farm was keeping me fairly busy. Sometimes I wonder how Applejack and Big Mac ever coped with just the two of them working. I’d spent the last couple days shearing the local sheep population. The weather team had promised us, in my Dad’s words, a real Spitfire Summer; hot, humid, with very little rainfall. So the last thing anypony wanted was to see the poor ewes overheat under their thick woolen coats.

I was doing this now. I’d been working through the flock since early morning, trying to get them all done before it got too hot. I’d actually got some experience of doing this back home. In the summer, when I was a teenager, I used to make a bit of scratch by helping one of the local farmers out during lambing and shearing. Of course, those sheep were far less cooperative. In fact, after they’d been done, the poor things used to go and stare at their fleeces as they dried out on the fence, looking awfully forlorn about it.

These sheep in contrast, were a lot more cooperative. Although I still had Winona herd them all into the pen for me. The young collie is very good at her job, and unlike some dogs back home, has never shown any sign of turning on the sheep. She was currently sitting next to me, watching as I gave one young ewe a buzz cut.

I was using a typical trimmer, that was floating in my magic to do the job. The idea was to effectively get the whole fleece to almost peel away in one piece. Of course, some bits had to be just cut off, particularly around the underbelly, which tended to attract flies. The little blighters were making the job even harder than usual, and my tail was swishing about in an effort to keep them off my rear end. Trust me, fly strike is no laughing matter. I was just finishing up one of the hogs; one of last year’s lambs who hadn’t yet had any of her own.

“There we go, little lady,” I was saying as I held her up on her back legs to trim the underbelly. “Almost done and then y’all can be on your way.”

The sheep simply sat in silence. More than a few were uncomfortable with the noise the trimmer made. And I do admit to laughing a little when they’re let go. They look like poor Shaun out of Wallace and Gromit. I was just finishing up when I was joined by Applejack and, curiously, Spike.

“Howdy, sugarcube,” Applejack said as she walked up, the little dragon following close behind.

I quickly set down my tools and, hopping the fence, trotted over to her and nuzzled her affectionately. If nothing else, it made Spike gag, which only made us both laugh.

“Hey, ‘Jack,” I replied, kindly. “Ah thought you were out with Mac checkin up on the Zap Apple trees.”

“Ah was,” Applejack explained. “But Spike here came along lookin for ya. Says he’s got somethin’ from Twi for ya.”

That peaked my interest. Twilight occasionally sends me articles or spells she’s working on to see if I can lend a hoof. From the mouth of babes and all that. She also knew about my interest in dark magic, and at present thinks that I’m responsible enough not to go crazy using it and corrupt myself.

As a rule, I’m looking to understand these darker spells and develop a counter spell to them. I can’t do too much; I’m certainly not gifted as Twilight is, in fact quite a few of the more advanced spells are beyond my ability. But I’m pretty good when it comes to theoretical application. Magic after all, is just as much an art as it is a science. In any case, I’ve been able a couple times to help reverse some ancient spell that’s been rattling around in the Canterlot archives.

Walking around Applejack, I went over to talk to Spike. I get on well enough with the little dragon, although I don’t see him as often as I’d like. Try as I might, I’ve never been able to get into Dungeons and Dragons, never mind Equestria’s version of it. That’s more Big Mac’s cup of tea. The young dragon, and saviour of the Crystal Empire, I might add, smiled at me as he passed me a scroll.

“Twilight asked me to give this to you, Blade Star,” he said, using my chosen name, rather than my nickname. “She said it’s some kind of psychic projection spell, and that it might be linked to Nightmare Moon.” My eyebrows went up at that.

Nightmare Moon was a touchy subject with me. I never liked to think of Princess Luna in such a light. I still remember seeing the look of horror on her face when she transformed in that dark cocoon. Taking the spell in my magic, I opened it up and took a look.

“Well, let’s see what we got here,” I said, undoing the ribbon that sealed it.

It was impressive to say the least, and judging by the dialect, quite old too. I could see why Twilight thought it was linked to Nightmare Moon. From what I could make out, this spell allowed the caster to project a physical manifestation of various parts of their psyche. Nightmare Moon was the manifestation of Luna’ jealousy.

Of course, it was a lot safer than that. This would just be a projection. It would have no real magic of its own, nor would it be taking over your body. It would be like meeting a particular part of your personality. Theoretically, I could bring out various parts of my personality with this spell. It would certainly be good for a therapist or counsellor. You could have your patient talk to their neuroses.

“Well, this is interesting,” I commented as I finished examining the spell.

“Twilight figured you’d be interested in it,” Spike said in agreement. “She and Starlight want to try using it tomorrow if you’re okay with it.”

Ah yes, I only had to take a cursory glance at the various glyphs to know that this spell was quite a way beyond my own meagre powers. I’m not a weakling by any stretch of the imagination, certainly not when I utilise what dark magic I can. But I’m not about to go and try raising the sun. I had no intention of ending up like the ancient Unicorn Council, with my magic entirely depleted.

“Yeah, sure, Spike. Ah’d be happy to help them out,” I said. “Heck, maybe Ah can bring them back to the farm and help ease up the workload this week.” Applejack snorted.

“Oh no you don’t, Bones,” she said firmly. “Ya know how Ah feel ‘bout you usin’ magic.”

Applejack, being an earth pony, does much prefer to use her own tribe’s magic to get things done. She’s not some mad conservative; more than once I’ve brought my magic in to help make a tight deadline, but she does prefer to do things the earth pony way.

And let’s be honest, this was technically one of Twilight’s experiments. The ratio of experiment to near world ending disaster was a tad high. Even more so when you threw one Starlight Glimmer into the mix. So I could hardly blame AJ for being a little concerned.

“Don’t worry, AJ,” I reassured her. “Ah was only kidding. Twi and Starlight can manifest a couple parts of my personality, and then send ‘em back where they came from.”





The next day, I headed down into Ponyville after breakfast. Applejack decided to tag along with me. Every now and then I’d lend a hoof to Twilight when she was working on some project or another, and she’d do the same for me, helping me with the practical side of complex spells. But for the most part, as it sort of left AJ as a third wheel, she usually stayed away from such things. As much as she loved me, she herself freely admitted that half the time, she had no idea what I was on about when it came to magic. Then again, there are times when I’d be stumped on the farm without her or Mac to help me.

This time however, she decided to come with me. In her own words, she wanted to see just what was going on inside that head of mine. It would be an interesting experience. Our personalities are made up of dozens and dozens of different voices, all talking together at once. Some say go left, some say go right, some say turn back, and a couple say jump up and down and do handstands. It would be nice to listen to each one of their own, particularly those quieter voices that we seldom hear or pay attention to.

The two of us chatted together as we walked. AJ was planning to take a camping trip with Apple Bloom and the other Crusaders, along with Rarity and RD, in a few weeks. I considered coming along with them, but I know how important it is for AJ to spend time with her little sister. That filly is getting older every day, and foalhood is a precious thing.

Before too long, we reached town and soon found ourselves at the steps of Twilight’s glittering castle once again. Trotting up the stairs, with Applejack at my heels, I found the front door open. I frowned at that. You’d have thought that, having recently been the victim of a home invasion and kidnapping, Twilight and Spike might have become a bit more security conscious. I filed that thought away for later.

Walking through the map room, which was currently empty as the map had disappeared back into the floor, we made our way into the library, where Twilight and Starlight were waiting for me.

“Mornin’, Twilight. Hey, Starlight,” I said, touching the brim of my hat as I did so. That’s one of the many habits I’ve picked up here.

Applejack gave me my hat for Hearth’s Warming a few years ago. It’s similar to hers, only a a few shades darker. It also now sports a small eagle feather on the right side, a gift from Luna as a result of some shenanigans during the Summer Sun Celebration.

The two mares were eager to make a start in examining the spell in practice. The three of us chatted and drew up a plan. From what I could make out, the spell would create a physical manifestation of a part of my personality; a particular facet that is. Twilight wanted to try two; one positive and one negative aspect. That would give her and Starlight a chance to examine the spell’s effects more closely. Once we were done talking with each one, Twilight would simply reverse the spell and return them to me again. All in all, it shouldn’t take more than an hour.

Applejack meanwhile agreed to help out Starlight. The one concern Twilight had, was meeting the negative aspect of my personality, whatever that might be. Annoyingly, the spell could only select a general vibe. You couldn’t say, bring out a pony’s happiness on command; it was somewhat luck of the draw. Potentially, that meant we might get a really nasty part of me, unfettered by its normal restraints.

To offset that risk, I and the negative part would be contained within a shield, generated by Starlight. Given that she’s more powerful than me, it would be difficult, if not impossible, for my darker half to override the spell. And of course, based on what I’d read, he wouldn’t have too much magic to call on anyway, simply a fraction of what I possessed. If push came to shove though, AJ could bring her brute strength into play and hold him down until Twilight reversed the spell.

With all the necessary safeguards in place, and all parties ready to play their role, we set to work. I stood in the middle of the map room, with Twilight opposite me. Starlight and AJ meanwhile, were off to her side.

“Okay, Blade Star,” Twilight said, having checked over the spell one more time. “Are you ready for this?”

“Ready as Ah’ll ever be, Twilight,” I replied with a nod of my head.

Pointing her horn directly at me, the alicorn grimaced for a moment, before her horn glowed its usual magenta and shot out a beam of the same colour.

The spell hit me square in the chest, although there was no real impact behind it. For a moment, I saw my cutie mark glow brightly. Then, literally by magic, my form seemed to duplicate, and a moment later, there was another pony standing beside me.

At first glance, he didn’t seem too different to me. He was a unicorn, with a grey coat and dark blue mane. But there were a few noticeable differences. For one thing, he was taller than me, being around Shining Armor’s size. He was strongly built, muscular, with a handsome face. A far cry from myself.

Silence held sway for a moment as now five of us looked around. This new pony soon turned and spotted me and smiled broadly.

“Hey, it’s the king!” he exclaimed in a strongly marked American accent, before embracing me in a strong hug. “Mr. Beautiful!” He turned to the girls

“Ladies, do you know you are standing in the presence of one of the most incredible stallions in Equestria? I swear to Celestia, if I wasn’t straight, I’d be hooking up with him as we speak. I mean, is he totally perfect or what?”

Silence made a quick return, followed by blushing all around, particularly me. Still, this...odd stallion showed no signs of slowing up.

“Well, what’s the matter, big man?” he asked me. “C’mon, I wanna hear that brilliant voice of yours.”

I did my best to get my blushing under control. It was presently showing even through my coat. Clearing my throat, I turned back to the larger stallion and took a stab at who he was.

“Ah’m guessin’ your my...confidence?” I asked. He grinned almost manically at that, before turning back to Twilight and the others.

“Gosh darn it, I just love that soft southern accent. It’s no wonder ya got three sexy fillies droolin’ all over ya, slick.”

That was more than enough for Twilight Sparkle. Like me, she’s not exactly comfortable with such topics of conversation. She shook herself out of her stupor and snarled at...well, let’s just call him Confidence for the sake of convenience.

“Hey!” she barked sharply. “We are not drooling! We’re observing an experiment!” Confidence was quick to shoot back however.

“Well, I know for a fact that cute little piece of tail isn’t.” He pointed at Applejack, who also didn’t take kindly to him. “I have all of Blade Star’s memories, and I know for a fact that that dame’s crazy about him. Why, just last week Bones was…”

I quickly cast a spell to zip his mouth shut. I knew exactly what he was going to say, and there was no way I was letting AJ, never mind Starlight and Twilight hear it. There’s a reason other parts of my personality keep a lid on this guy. Although to be fair, it was nice to get some praise. It might be an idea to chat with Confidence later on, alone. Celestia knows my self-confidence could sometimes use a boost.

“Okay, Ah think we’ve heard enough of that for the time bein’ friend,” I said hastily, causing AJ to giggle. “As interestin’ as it’s been meetin’ ya, Ah think it’s time y’all went back inside my head.”

I turned to the little alicorn, who was also struggling to hold back giggles along with her former pupil. Still, she was kind enough to oblige. Bringing her magic to life again, I watched as Confidence faded and seemed to fade back into me, before disappearing completely.

“Well, that went well enough, Ah s’pose,” I commented.

“It sure did, Blade Star,” Twilight agreed. “The projection was stable and successfully brought out your self-confidence.”

“It was interesting to see that one aspect of your personality,” Starlight commented. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you so brash. Normally you’re pretty reserved.” I rolled my eyes.

“Yeah, and now ya can see why,” I replied. “Damn idiot, makin’ a fool outta me.” AJ now jumped in.

“Hey’ don’t be like that, sugarcube,” she said encouragingly. “Ain’t nothin’ wrong with havin’ a bit of confidence. Why, if it weren’t for confidence, you’d never have gotten past my big brother when he took you on that walk around the farm.”

That was true, without confidence, we had no bravery, no trust in ourselves. We wouldn’t do anything for fear of failure. But like I said before, all things in moderation. I think you’ll find that I’m more than happy with my somewhat reserved personality. Still, I smiled at AJ. Celestia knows a lot of my confidence comes from her. Whatever problems I might have, I still managed to win her heart. Even back home, as much as I disliked it when a girl flirted with me, it was still a nice boost to my confidence.

“How about we get onto the next part, Twilight?” i suggested. I was rather hoping that my meeting with the negative personality would be just as brief. The alicorn however, shook her head.

“That spell is quite tricky to master, Blade Star,” she explained. “And it needs a lot of magic to work. I think maybe we should take a break first.”

And so, we all broke off for a cup of tea.





After chatting over tea, we all got back to it. Twilight had got her magic back up to full strength and she was now prepared to continue with the experiment. We all headed back into the map room and took our previous positions, with Twilight opposite me, and Starlight off to one side with Applejack.

Twilight turned to her pupil. Starlight quickly brought her magic into play and created a shield that encased myself and a large part of the library. It was the same aqua colour as her magic, and after a few testing taps, I was certain that it was solid enough.

Truth be told, I was a little nervous about this myself. Confidence had been loud and brash, but those were little problems and would pale in comparison to a negative aspect of my personality. There were many parts of my personality that I didn’t like, my occasional cowardice, my fear, my anger, my vengeful side. We all have those little voices in the back of our minds, only most of us rarely listen to them. Now I’d have no choice but to hear what he had to say.

Twilight teleported inside Starlight’s shield in order to use the spell again. As before, the spell hit me square in the chest, and as soon as it began to take effect, Twilight teleported away again, reappearing next to Starlight.

However, this time, the spell behaved a little bit differently. Instead of a ghost like image coming from me and taking form nearby, my shadow, which was cast along the floor by the lights above, suddenly separated from me. I watched with some concern as it moved toward the far wall; the edge of Starlight’s shield. From there it stood upright, as it were, showing my own silhouette. And then, in an unsettling display, a pony stepped out of that shadow.

He looked remarkably like me. There was no difference in stature or size this time around. But it was clear from just a glance that he wasn’t me. He stood taller, looking more confident and intimidating. And his eyes, despite being the same as mine, somehow looked colder, harder. Everything about him just looked a little older, a little more experienced. With a steady hoofsteps, he walked over to me, staring at me the entire time. He finally stopped when we were virtually nose to nose. He stared at me for a few moments. I can honestly say the only time I’ve been so frightened is when I confronted Chrysalis.

“Well, have you nothing to say to me?” he asked with a sneering look.

He didn’t sound like me, either accent. He was definitely me, but compared to my full self, he sounded more aristocratic, suave; your classic British villain; composed on the outside, but God only knows what on the inside. Summoning up my courage, I looked him in the eye. I was reminded of that old maxim of Nietzsche's; ‘Stare too long into the abyss, and the abyss stares back into you’.

“Who are you?” I asked. My voice was quiet, subdued, frightened, and lacking its usual twang. He smiled down at me.

“Oh, I have many names,” he replied slowly, with a glint in his eye. “Perhaps you remember your scripture? ‘And when he had opened the fourth seal, I heard the voice of the fourth beast say, Come and see. And behold,” He gestured to himself. “An ashen horse. And his name was Death. And Hell followed with him.”

“You’re not him,” I replied, uneasily. “And you’re misquoting too. Who are you really?” The other pony frowned and began to pace around me again. I tried to tell myself that it was just a scare tactic, but I couldn’t stop the feeling of fear I felt from just being near him.

“I am you,” he said, grinning again. “And you are me. And that frightens you, doesn’t it?” I said nothing, partly because I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction, and partly because I was too scared to say a peep. After a few moments of silence, he got bored.

“Very well, then,” he went on after a moment of me standing there in silence. He walked over to the edge of the shield and tapped it with a hoof. It reverberated at his touch, but nothing more. There was no way he could break through it.

“Impressive, Starlight,” he said, looking at her. “But if I may demonstrate a slight flaw in your design.”

With that, his form suddenly turned black, to shadow. Like the vile King Sombra, he literally became shadow. Flatting down onto the floor, he effortlessly slid under the spell and rematerialised a moment later outside it. We all stood there in shock.

Well, not for long. Both mares quickly charged up their magic, while AJ took a fighting stance. Our visitor however, held up a hoof.

“Please, do not worry yourselves,” he said in a calm voice. “I mean you no harm. I can assure you, if I did, you’d be dead already.” Quite the boaster, I thought to myself.

Starlight deactivated her shield, freeing me as well. I quickly placed myself between him and my friends.

“How did you do that?” I asked. “Even Ah couldn’t pull off somethin like that. You’re supposed to have barely any magic.” The stallion smiled at me, with a hint of pity.

“Yes you could,” he replied, unruffled. “As I said before, we’re one and the same. You know the spell. You simply choose not to use it. You hold yourself back. That spell isn’t beyond your abilities, colt. You’re just too fearful.”

“Dark magic is inherently corruptive,” I replied. “Using it for too long would turn me evil, like Sombra or Tirek. That’s why Twilight and I agreed to stop studyin’ it outside of finding counterspells.”

“Evil is a rather strong word,” my darker half replied, effortlessly sidestepping around me and placing himself between me and my friends. “I’d argue that you are simply exercising your will to power. Is that so wrong? How can it be, when it involves the rejection of such restraints like morality?”

“If Ah abandoned my morals, my ethics,,” I replied. “Ah wouldn’t be me anymore.”

“You might be someone better,” he countered with an unsettling smile. “You could be me.”

“Ah’d never be you,” I replied, squaring up to him for the first time, and looking him in the eye. “You’re just a shadow, passing thoughts. If Ah acted on them Ah’d find myself in a hole mighty quick. We all would.”

“Or, you might be in a position to do away with any villain that dares threaten this realm. Surely you’d agree that killing Chrysalis before the wedding was a better outcome than what happened.”

I thought about that for a moment. True, with Chrysalis dead, Cadence would have been found safe and sound and the attack would never have happened. But Twilight and her friends would never learn an important lesson. We’d never see Shining and Cadence call on the power of love. As painful as that experience was, everypony involved was better for it. More to the point, I’d be guilty of cold blooded murder.

“No, it wouldn’t be better,” I countered, surprising him. “It would be wrong.”

“La shay' sahihun. Kula shay' musamuwhun,” he countered, switching into arabic.

“Er...what?” Twilight asked, looking up from her notes. Like Starlight and AJ, she had no idea what my darker half had just said.

“Nothing is true. Everything is permitted,” I translated, before turning back to him. “But you should remember the most important part of that phrase. The Creed does not command a man to be free; it commands him to be wise.”

“And stopping a foe from being a threat is not wise?” my dark half asked. “I know you don’t think that. After all, you were the one who went and created FOXDIE.”

That shook me up, because he was right. I’d created FOXDIE for precisely that purpose. My darker half smiled, knowing that he’d gotten to me. I did my best to think of a counter argument.

“Eventually Ah’d start to fall,” I argued. “Ah don’t wanna find myself as another threat to Equestria.”

To my surprise, that seemed to rattle him. For a brief moment, his face took on a surprised, even hurt look, before his normal demeanour reasserted itself.

“I may be your darker half,” he replied, with a hint of anger in his voice. “But I would never harm this nation. I am not evil. I have no desire for power or glory, simply knowledge, and understanding.”

“But you’ll do whatever it takes to get that knowledge,” I countered.

“And I will do whatever it takes to protect Equestria.” He turned to look at Applejack. Walking over to her, he placed a hoof on her cheek. “And those I care for.”

It was strange. You’d have thought a darker part of me would be self-interested and power hungry. But here he was, showing love and affection. I reminded myself though, that this pony had been quite happy when I’d let Chrysalis fall to her death. He held Applejack’s gaze for a moment before letting her go and turning back to me.

“Well,” my darker half said, snapping me out of my reprieve. “It has been pleasant to have form at last and to walk among you, but I think it’s high time that I take my leave. If you should ever need me, you know where to find me.” Meaningfully, he tapped the side of his head.

He was able to deactivate the spell himself, much to our surprise. I watched as he walked over to the far wall, stepped into the shadow he cast, which then reattached itself to me.

We all stood silent for a few moments. He had been, without any doubt, the most unnerving pony I’d ever met. Not only in his manner, but the knowledge that he was a part of me, sitting inside my head, encouraging me down darker paths. The whole experience left me vividly recalling bad memories of things I’d done. But could I just lay the blame at his hooves? Was it him alone, or did I play a part?

Where did I end and he begin?

Was there even a difference, or was he just me without inhibitions?

Would that be me if I ever pushed my studies in dark magic too far, able to justify any atrocity by Machiavellian reason?

In any case, Twilight had what she needed. We all agreed that while the positive projection made for fascinating study, the negative projections ought to be sealed off and deadlocked to prevent its use. However, I requested to be allowed occasional access as part of my studies into countering dark magic. If nothing else, I’ll know that, the moment he starts agreeing with me, I’ve gone too far.

As AJ and I left the castle to head home, I couldn’t help but feel that he was there beside me. Though I suppose he was even closer than that really. When we got back to the farm, I found myself staring into the mirror in my room.

And I stared back.
> Chapter 3 - Use the Force
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

After my unsettling meeting with...myself, I decided to shelve my studies for a period. Once upon a time, I’d actually studied dark magic itself. Twilight had even shown me how to use a few spells while utilising the Alicorn Amulet. That in particular was not an experience I cared to repeat. Still, after that I had done my best to pick up a few dark magic spells, under the impression that fire fights fire. However, I’d become uneasy about that ever since my encounter with Chrysalis, and shortly before the Apple Family Reunion a few years ago, Twilight had told me that it was worrying her too. And so, I stopped my research into dark magic and confined myself to looking for ways to counter it with traditional magic.

Now though, I’d decided to shelve that as well, at least for a time. I’d been working on countering various spells for a few years now. And if I’d learnt anything in the last two weeks, it’s that one doesn’t need to use dark magic in order to be corrupted by it.

So I turned my attention back to the farm, as well as perfecting my own magical technique. As I’ve said more than a few times over the years, for all my ability, I am not that powerful in terms of magic. I can use a few complex spell, I can even do a short range teleportation spell in a pinch. However, anything more strenuous exhausts me. Magic, in that sense, is no different from physical strength. It can be improved with exercise, but we all have our finite limit. To push the example to the extreme, there was no way I’d ever be able to move the sun or moon on my own.

But on the other hoof, I am a little ahead of the curve. Twilight has told me that I have a bit more magic in me than your average unicorn. Most can only use their magic for basic things, like levitation or light spells. I was quite strong in those areas, and as a result of my cutie mark, had a flair for defensive spells, such as shields. In a sense, I was like a scaled down version of Shining Armor; there’s certainly no way I could shield all of Canterlot for an extended period. Covering the farmhouse would probably be pushing my luck.

Still, there were plenty of spells I’d never tried. And with this new direction I was taking, I decided a good project would be to test the limits of my abilities. I began looking through some of my books for more complex, albeit safer spells to try out. One quickly peaked my interest.

Self-levitation is an interesting concept. On the surface, it’s no different to any ordinary levitation spell. You are simply lifting your own body weight and manipulating it, just as you would any other object. What made it interesting was its lack of a tether.

You see, when a unicorn levitates something in their magic, it can only be a short distance away before the spell loses its power. The more powerful a unicorn, the further away. Hence why Celestia and Luna can move huge objects millions of miles away from themselves. When self-levitating though, the tether is always wherever the pony is. So in theory, the spell could be used to propel a pony through the air, not all that different from a pegasus. Starlight had demonstrated this ability, during her fight with Twilight. A combination of a cloud walking spell and this self-levitation allowed her to fight in Cloudsdale, despite being a unicorn.

Now, obviously, Starlight, like Twilight is a lot more powerful than I am. There was no way I’d be gallivanting all over the shop like that. But in theory, I could use the spell myself. The question would be whether or not my magic was strong enough.





So, that morning, I got up, bright and early as usual, and made a start on my new project. First’ order of business; breakfast. If Granny Smith has imparted any of her wisdom to me since I first moved in here, it is that breakfast is a vital meal. Considering that I tend to work all through the morning and only pause for a quick half hour lunch, I think she might be on to something. The physical labour of applebucking and the other activities I do on the farm, such as hauling, herding, and repair work, mean that I use a fair bit of energy, so I need every calorie I can get.

Getting out of bed, I looked out my window toward the eastern horizon. The sun was just barely coming up, painting the horizon with reds and golds. Up above I could see the last few stars beginning to fade away. Celestia couldn’t have raised the sun more than ten minutes ago. Luna was probably still up too, on her way to her chambers for a well earned break.

After making my bed and stretching myself to get all the kinks out of my joints, I headed out of my room into the hall and made for the bathroom for a quick shower and to brush my teeth. My mane was getting a little long. I’d need to think about having it cut soon. Hopefully Rarity wouldn’t notice next time she saw me and try and drag me on another one of her spa days. Yes, she has done that in the past.

Having made myself presentable, I went back to my room and grabbed my much treasured stetson from off of the back of my door. It hung there along with a somewhat ragged grey kepi, a relic from my reenactment days when I ran with the 1st Tennessee Regiment. With the familiar hat back on my head, I felt like my normal self. Honestly, at this point, I feel kind of naked without it, if that makes any sense, considering I don’t wear any other clothes most of the time.

Trotting down the stairs, I headed into the kitchen. To my surprise, I was the first one up. Usually I’d come down and Granny Smith at least, would be up and about. But this morning, it was just me. So I set about making my own breakfast and laying the table for everypony else. I was just waiting for my toast to pop when Big Mac lumbered into the room. I didn’t even have to turn around; any fool would recognise those heavy footfalls.

“Mornin’, Mac,” I said, as I grabbed my toast in a levitation spell.

“Mornin’, Bones,” he replied, still sounding a little tired.

“Ya know,” I said, turning around to face him as I sat down at the table. “Ah think this is the first time Ah’ve ever been the first one up in the mornin’.” I cracked a wry smile. It was hardly the achievement of the century, but hey, small victories.

“Well, first time for everythin’ as Granny says,” Mac answered.

Walking over to the kitchen counter, he helped himself to a pot of coffee that I’d set going. I never cared for the stuff back home, but since moving to Sweet Apple Acres, the stuff has been indispensable. I don’t know how I’d get up in the mornings without it. Does that mean I’m addicted?

“Where is Granny anyway?” I asked. “Mighty strange for her not to be up right about now.”

“Applejack’s checkin’ on her now. She reckons she mighta caught somethin’,” Mac explained.

That woke me up with a start. Celestia knows Granny Smith is no spring chicken. I knew we would eventually have to face that sad day, but I didn’t like to think about it, certainly not this early in the morning.

“Nothin’ too serious is it?” I asked, doing my best to prevent worry creeping into my voice. Mac though, shook his head.

“Just a common cold by the looks of it,” he reassured me. “But AJ’s gonna have to run the stall at the town market today. It’ll just be you and me workin’ on the farm.”

That would make things a bit tricky. We had a busy day today. We needed to finish up clearing the northern orchard. AJ, Mac and I had been working there for the better part of the week, harvesting the apple trees, but there was still a fair bit to do. Without Applejack’s help, we’d probably need another day at the very least.

However, at that moment, an idea struck me. Mac had no real objections to me using magic when in a tight spot. So why not use this as an opportunity to test my magical strength? If I could move my weight in apples, then logically, I would be able to cast a levitation spell on myself.





Apple Bloom came down a little while later, and let us know that AJ was going to head out to fetch Nurse Redheart to check on Granny Smith, and then head to Ponyville to run the market stall. She quickly wolfed down a bowl of cereal. It was almost time for her to head out to school.

“Say, Bones,” she said, catching my attention. “Ya, mind takin’ me to school today?”

How could I say no to that face? I’d finished my own breakfast anyway, and Mac had offered to wash up.

“Sure, AB. Grab your stuff and we’ll get goin’,” I replied with a smile.

The little filly was soon at my side with her saddlebags. Now that Diamond Tiara has become a lot more tolerable, she enjoys school a lot more than she used to. Not that she didn’t enjoy the chance to hang around with her friends before. But I know for a fact that school is a lot more fun when you don’t have to contend with bullies.

The two of us were soon out the door and on the dirt road that led toward Ponyville. Luckily for me, the schoolhouse was on this side of town, so it would only take ten minutes or so to get there. I chatted with Apple Bloom as we walked. But where once I would have been asking what her latest idea for a cutie mark was, I was now asking her about her current client. I still find it strange to see her with that cutie mark on her flank. Sometimes I still can’t believe it. They’ve helped a fair few ponies out around town, including my little sister, in understanding what their cutie mark means and helped more than a few foals discover their special talent.

But she is still a little filly, and as such, despite her occasional requests to be exempted, she has to go to school. Today they were apparently going to be studying a bit of ancient history, reading up about Starswirl the Bearded and a few other famous names from that time, as well as a few old myths and legends.

Before too long, the pair of us arrived at the schoolhouse. There were already more than a few foals milling about the schoolyard, with Cheerilee keeping an eye on them. I stopped to have a few words with her as I dropped Apple Bloom off. Ever since she and Mac broke up (albeit consensually), I’ve been a little worried about her. I’m sure there’s somepony out there for her though. She certainly seemed to be in good spirits today though. It was just a shame I didn’t get a chance to say hi to my Mum. She also works at the school, taking some of the workload off Cheerilee. But she apparently wasn’t due in until the afternoon.

So I headed back to the farm. I passed Applejack on the way back, and she brought me up to speed. Mac and me would have to do the work today on our own, while she looked after the stall and earned us some bits. Apple farming may be a profitable business, but farming in general is always a precarious profession financially. Why, an old neighbour of mine back on Earth had turned a double barrel on himself after all his cattle had to be destroyed when one tested positive for TB, meaning he couldn’t sell them, and leaving him in massive debt.

Granny Smith wasn’t as bad as first feared, so AJ had left her with some hot soup and orders to rest up until she felt better. Although knowing Granny Smith, she wouldn’t take that advice unless forced to. Mac and me would have to check in on her from time to time to make sure she wasn’t taxing herself.

With those parting words of advice, Applejack headed off into town. I meanwhile went back to the farm and was soon reunited with Big Mac. Today was going to be a long day, but if I was lucky, I might be able to get two birds with one stone.





Having returned to the farm, Mac and I headed out to fields to the start work. It was set to be a hard day today. As I said before, we were all working on harvesting the northern orchard. The apples would then go on to be used to make cider in the autumn (or apple juice if you’re from the UK’s censors). Between AJ, Mac and me, nothing could be simpler. We were planning on finishing up today, and then using the rest of the week to take a look in on the area given over to the vampire fruit bats. They’d been there a couple of years now, and Applejack was keen to see Fluttershy’s much vaunted promised bear fruit, if you’ll pardon the pun.

But being a mare down, we’d have our work cut out trying to clear the orchard in time. At least, that would be true if we were just applebucking. Theoretically, I could use my magic to speed things up. Applejack however, never liked me using unicorn magic. Not out of spite mind you, she simply wanted to keep the farm a more traditional earth pony one. Admittedly, she was a tad set in her ways at times, but so was I. The two of us were staunchly traditional and conservative, and slow to accept change. Magic, as far as Applejack was concerned, was her line in the sand.

But, as the saying goes, when the cat’s away…

“So let me get this straight, Bones,” Mac said, looking solemnly down at me. “You want to try and figure out your true magical potential by trying to harvest as many apple trees as you can with your magic?”

“Eeyup,” I replied with a grin.

It was a clever idea if I do say so myself. I might not be able to make like Twilight and clear the whole orchard in one fell swoop, but I ought to be able to speed things along nicely. At a rough guess, if I could clear twelve trees at once, I would have enough power to lift myself off the ground with my magic.

So, having sworn Mac to secrecy, the two of us set to work.





I started fairly simply, warming up as it were, by using my magic to harvest a single tree. Manipulating multiple objects at once requires a fair bit of skill. Think of it like trying to pat your head with one hand and rub your stomach with the other. It’s sort of like that; very easy to get distracted and balls it up.

So far though, I was doing pretty well. With some effort, all the apples in the tree began to glow a dark blue colour, showing that my magic had a hold on them. Then, concentrating, I slowly eased them away from the branches.

When applebucking, the kick itself causes the stems to break off and the apples to fall. With magic though, I had to carefully tug on each individual apple to bring it out of the tree. And to make things more interesting, each one required a minute difference in the amount of force. Pulling sharply on one could result in another couple apples go flying off toward Las Pegasus. Luckily, I’ve got pretty good fine motor skills, at least when it comes to magic. I couldn’t help but feel quite pleased with myself as I watched about fifty odd apples float into the waiting baskets.

Mac meanwhile, was doing things the earth pony way. But he wasn’t behind or anything. Despite using my magic, he was still managing to keep pace with me, even as I upped my count to six trees each time. It was only when I began my experiment properly that I began to outpace him.

Like I said, I needed to be able to move twelve trees worth of apples if I wanted to have a hope of levitating myself. This would require a lot of concentration, and most likely tax my magic to its limit. I’d already pushed beyond what your typical unicorn could do, although not by too much.

Doing my best to focus, I faced up the the row of twelve apple trees that I had to harvest. The way Mac was going, if I could clear this lot, even if I went back to applebucking, we’d be finished by supper time and back on schedule. I closed my eyes as I activated my magic. In an effort to bolster my confidence, I remembered the wise words of Jedi master Yoda.

“No! No different, only different in your mind! Look at me. Judge me by my size, do you?’ And of course, that simplest of motivations. ‘No, try not. Do, or do not. There is no ‘try’.’

Of course, that wasn’t the case with magic really, you did need more magic to move heavier objects. Still, it gave me a boost of confidence. I’d been performing similar feats all day. This was just combining those efforts into a single spell. Taking a deep breath, I began to cast my magic.

Instantly, I felt the strain brought on by the weight of all the apples. Can you imagine carrying twelve bushels of apples all at once? Physically, even with my improved strength from working on the farm, there was no way I could move all this. But with my magic…

Slowly, I saw the apples begin to move, tugging at their stems, still attached to the branches. In addition to raw power, I needed to use finesse to avoid sending the apples flying. I did my best to concentrate, the slightest distraction would cause me problems. I closed my eyes in an effort to focus better.

A moment later though, I was briefly startled when I heard Big Mac gasp. Opening my eyes again, I saw all the apples levitating in the air, all hovering a foot or so away from the trees. It was a strain, but I was holding them all up; I could do it! Carefully, I eased the large load into the waiting baskets, before finally resting. As soon as I did so, I let out a gasp of air I didn’t realise I’d been holding. Mac was quickly at my side as I sat down.

“Land sakes, Bones!” he exclaimed. “That was amazin’! Last time Ah saw a unicorn pony move even half that kinda load, it was Princess Twilight helpin’ out.” I let out a slightly pained laugh and grinned at him.

“Ah’m good, but Ah ain’t that good, Mac,” I replied. “But it does mean Ah can keep on with my little experiment. If all goes well tomorrow, Ah’m gonna go flyin’.”





And so, the next day, after letting my magic recover overnight, I began my little experiment. Today was going to be fairly quiet. With the market shut, Applejack was free to help Big Mac, while Granny Smith remained in bed recuperating.

Once again, I volunteered to take Apple Bloom to school, while AJ and Mac went to take a look at the vampire fruit bat reservation. They were going to do a spot of testing of their own, to see if the newly grown apple trees had become more productive as Fluttershy had suggested. If that was the case, we might well see a massive upsurge in productivity. I’d even talked with Applejack about expanding the area given over to the fruit bats.

However, that would come later, right now, I had to get Apple Bloom to school. Once again, I set off for the school, with the little filly trotting alongside. She soon revealed that she was in on my little experiment.

“So when are ya thinkin’ of tryin’ your new flight spell, Bones?” she asked, as if it was the simplest thing in the world.

“How...how did y’all know that?!” I spluttered in shock. The little filly did her best to look innocent.

“Big Macintosh told me all about it last night, when you and Applejack were busy checkin’ on Granny Smith.” I growled at that.

“Big Mac…” I muttered to myself in annoyance. Although to be fair, I had only told him not to tell Applejack about me using magic on the farm, not Apple Bloom. I sighed, seeing where the filly was going.

“Alright, Ah’ll bite,” I said resignedly. “What’ll it take to buy your silence?” Apple bloom paused her step and put a hoof to her chin in thought.

“Hmm,” she said. “You help me with my Equestrian History project, and we’ll call it even.” I rolled my eyes.

“Fine,” I replied, sealing the deal with a hoof bump.

We carried on down the road for a couple more minutes in silence. I swear to Celestia that Apple Bloom was getting smarter every day. Although I always like to think that she’s been the brains, or at least the stabilising force of the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Like her sister, she’s an old head on young shoulders...most of the time. Eventually, Apple Bloom broke the silence.

“Can ya show me how it works?” she asked, catching me off guard. I hadn’t even tried it myself yet.

“Apple Bloom,” I replied with a smile. “Ah ain’t even sure if it’s gonna work. For all Ah know, this spell will need more magic that Ah’ve got.” Apple Bloom however, was undaunted.

“Well of course it’ll work!” she replied excitedly. “You’re one of the most powerful unicorn ponies Ah know! C’mon, let’s try it now before ya have to drop me off at school.”

I was planning on having Big Mac around, just in case anything went wrong. But the worst case scenario was that the spell fizzled out and I landed on my flank. If worst came to worst, AB could run into town for help.

At that moment though, a thought occurred to me. Why not fly AB to school? Well, okay, not fly per se, more like hover. There was no way I was going to risk Apple Bloom’s safety or my own. Plus, I knew the filly would love it if she could arrive in school like that, and have a cool story to tell her friends.

“Alright, AB,” I said with a smile. “Climb up on my back and we’ll give it a try. No promises though, ya hear?”

“Sure, Bones,” Apple Bloom replied excitedly as she clambered up on my back. I used some of my own magic to help her up.

With the filly yellow filly safely seated, I began my spell. I knew I had the magical power to do it, but it was still a tough spell to do. It was certainly more work than any levitation spell I’d done before. Think of it like doing a pull up on a bar; you’re lifting your whole body weight.

My horn glowed brightly with its usual dark blue aura. I’m a little unusual that way; most unicorns magic corresponds with their eye colour. But there are some exceptions, like me, since I have brown eyes, and Celestia, whose magenta eyes are in sharp contrast to her golden magic aura.

A moment or so later, and that same aura surrounded me, but not Apple Bloom. Scrunching my eyes shut, I poured all the power I could into my spell. A moment later and I felt my hooves leave the ground.

“Blade Star! It’s working, it’s working!” Apple Bloom exclaimed excitedly. Opening my eyes, I found her to be correct.

I was hovering perhaps six inches off the ground, encased in my own dark blue aura. I was holding fairly steadily, although I was drifting a little bit, partly due to the wind. It sort of reminded me of the first time I used magic properly. We’d only been in Equestria for a few days, and had been taken up to Canterlot to meet the princesses who were going to try and find us a way home. This was before we knew about the rift, you see. Anyway, I’d gone and introduced myself to Princess Luna, and the two of us were talking in her observatory. She’d noticed that I wasn’t using my magic and offered to give me some pointers, something i pretty much leapt at.

Of course, I wasn’t much good on my first go. I managed to activate my magic, but rather than pick up a glass of moonshine, I inadvertently picked up myself, and ended up suspended upside down in front of the lunar princess.
That was what I felt like now. Although at least this time I was the right way up. It was certainly an experience; somewhat like what I imagine being in zero gravity is like.

Turning around, I checked on Apple Bloom. The little filly was holding on to me, her hooves grasping the mane on the back of my neck. She didn’t seem frightened or anything, but I didn’t blame her for wanting to have a secure hold on me, even if it did feel like my mane was being pulled out at times.

Anyway, having satisfied myself that I could actually get off the ground, albeit only slightly. My thoughts then turned to movement. Again, it was a bit tricky to perform. It wasn’t like walking. It was more like...moving yourself with your arms, like dragging yourself along the floor. It wasn’t particularly comfortable, particularly as I first started.

As I began to move though, I found that the effort required slowly got less and less, kind of like pushing a car when the engine goes dead. Once I began to build up some momentum, things were a lot easier, and before too long, Apple Bloom and I were merrily zipping along at something comparable to a gallop, still about six inches off the ground.

Given that I still had the little filly with me, I decided not to push my luck and didn’t try to increase my speed or height any further. Before too long, we came upon the schoolhouse. I carefully slowed myself to a stop and came back into a hover. And with that, I shut off the levitation spell and dropped back to the floor, my knees buckling slightly under the renewed strain.

Apple Bloom giddily jumped off my back and ran in front of me.

“Land sakes, that was amazin’, Bones!” she exclaimed, jumping up to emphasise her point. “Ah can’t wait to do that again.”

I on the other hand, was a little less optimistic. Yes, I’d managed the spell alright, and yes it had worked. But it had really knocked me for six. It couldn’t have been more than a mile or so from the farm to the schoolhouse, and I couldn’t have ‘flown’ more than half of that. But I felt as though I’d just run the London marathon. My magic was down to perilously low levels. I probably couldn’t even lift a single apple with my present reserves.

“Ya might have to wait some time, Apple Bloom,” I replied, slightly out of puff. “That there spell is trickier than gettin’ Winona in for her monthly bath. Ah don’t think Ah’ll be usin’ it for a while.” The filly’s ears wilted at that. What can I say, I’m a bit of a softie.

“But Ah s’pose Ah might be able to take you for a quick flight from time to time,” I added. Her smile quickly returned. “Now go on, get to class, and Ah’ll see ya at three.”

The little filly cantered off and quickly joined Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle, who were already playing together.

I meanwhile, started to walk back to the farm. While it was a shame I couldn’t go gallivanting about in the air like Starlight previously had, it was nice to know that I had the nous to be able to cast the spell. But it seemed to me that self-levitation would have to be shelved alongside teleportation, another spell that I could perform, but only in a pinch, and at great cost to my magic.

At the end of the day, it was a good result. The experience was certainly an interesting one, and that evening found me making plenty of notes on the subject.

Still, I think if I ever need to pay a visit to Cloudsdale or Las Pegasus, I’ll take an airship or balloon.
> Chapter 4 - Power Drain
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

To say I don’t like Tirek, is a gross understatement. I don’t hate him, that would be far too kind. I do however, dislike him, intensely. He is, to me, nothing more than a common thief, with a serious inferiority complex, sociopathic tendencies and a real short temper.

Not so long ago, he got loose from his cell in Tartarus. He took magic from half the ponies in Equestria. That included me. I didn’t go quietly of course, but given that he had the magic of well over a hundred ponies by that point, there wasn’t much I could do, even resorting to dark magic in an effort to fight fire with fire. I lost my magic for a short time, and it was the worst feeling in the world. In all honestly, I’d rather have been dead at the time.

In the end it all worked out of course. All the magic of Equestria combined was no match for the Elements of Harmony. To them, power isn’t really an issue. He took a rainbow of friendship to the face and went back to his box, this time tied down more securely. Still, if he got out once, he could get out again. Heck, for all I know he may even try to pull something from within his confinement. He may be nuts, but he’s far from stupid. The siphon spell he used allowed him to overpower weaker beings and drain their magic. Only Twilight, with all the princesses magic combined could stand up to him.

But what if there had been a way? You see, normally, if you want to stop a spell being used on you, you need more magic than the other guy, or more nous at any rate. I couldn’t have the same amount as magic, but I could use my head. Every spell has its counter spell, and I knew there had to be one for Tirek’s little party trick. I just needed to find it.

For the next month or so, that became my pet project. I was going to find a counter to that spell if it was the last thing I ever did. If nothing else, I’d love to see the look on that bastard’s face when he realised he couldn’t hurt us.

It was slow going though. My own memory of the process was limited. It was so fast and so damn painful. Imagine having your teeth pulled out one by one. Pulling back just hurt you and accelerated the process, and doing nothing just allowed your magic to be removed. I’d tried the former, out of instinct. I’d tried to force my magic down, wrap it around something and tie it down to keep it from being taken. But the pull of the spell had been too strong.

It wasn’t until about a month or so down the line, that I finally realised what ought to have been staring me in the face the entire time. I was sitting in Twilight’s castle, pouring over old tomes and so forth. The farm was quiet for the time being; cider season was still a couple weeks away, so I found myself spending more time in the library.

It was so obvious in hindsight. You can’t beat it by pulling, and you can’t stop it by inaction. So, why not push back? Instead of trying to resist, why not actually channel more power into the spell. I was partly inspired by Thorax’s actions during the second incursion. He defeated Chrysalis, even though she was forcibly draining the love from him, threatening to leave him nothing but an empty husk. Resistance proved futile, so Starlight told him to give his love freely.

Now, in that case, it was the act of sharing love that triggered the metamorphosis and subsequent magical overload that blew up the throne and took the Hive’s roof clean off. The principle was the same. Think of it like a water pipe. You can try to reverse or block the flow all you like, eventually, the water will flow. But force too much through at once, and the pressure blows the pipe.

That, would work. Pumping too much magic would cause the spell to overload, and do some serious damage to the pony, or whoever else it might be, casting it. Even better, in theory, even a modestly powerful user could do it. Granted, the more powerful the pony, the greater the effect, but if I could do it, then the common or garden unicorn would stand a fighting chance.

I don’t think I ever galloped down those crystal hallways faster.





Tearing into the map room, and causing the double doors to bounce back on their hinges, I found Twilight, Starlight and Trixie sitting together. Any and all excitement quickly dissipated as I realised that I’d just stepped into a minefield of issues.

It’s no secret that Twilight and Trixie do not see eye to eye. While the magician may be reformed and has greatly atoned for her past deeds, she and Twilight still have a serious rivalry going on. At present the two of them were glaring at each other across the cutie map. And there was poor Starlight, stuck in the middle between her former teacher and her best friend.

“Blade Star!” she exclaimed, desperately seeking an exit from her present situation. “I didn’t realise you were studying here today.”

She quickly got up from her seat and trotted over to me.

“Erm...yeah, Ah just had a bit of a brainwave and wanted to pitch somethin’ to Twilight,” I explained, a little awkwardly. Twilight and Trixie were practically staring at each other, gnashing their teeth. Starlight turned back to the alicorn.

“Twilight?” she called. The alicorn didn’t move and continued with her staring contest. I sighed.

“What is it this time?” I asked wearily. It seems that whenever you put these two together they get into arguments.

“Twilight may or may not have found out about what happened when I tried to teach Trixie teleportation,” Starlight explained. Ah yes, Trixie had inadvertently teleported the cutie map away to parts unknown due to being distracted at the moment of casting. Well, I guess they couldn’t keep it under wraps forever.

Luckily, my arrival did eventually cause Twilight to break out of her little staring contest, and she trotted over to join Starlight.

“Hello, Blade Star,” she said brightly. “So nice to see a capable and responsible magic user around here for a change.” She cast a leer in Trixie’s direction, who only huffed in response. I did my best to distract her with my new hypothesis.

“I think I’ve finally found a way to override the siphon spell,” I explained. Twilight frowned, a little hesitant. To be fair, I’d told her this about a dozen times now, and each and every time, she’d knocked my theory down in ten seconds flat, to quote a certain pegasus. Still, like any good scientist, she was willing to entertain new theories.

“Okay. What’s the idea this time?” she asked, now more focused on me than Trixie who was still sitting at the table, and now examining the miniature map of Equestria that it projected.

“Pour more energy into the spell,” I explained. “Instead of trying to resist it, override it, or cast a counter spell, we simply overload the spell on its own. Too much energy flowing at once would blow the whole thing. Heck, that kind of energy discharge could blow a unicorn’s horn clean in half.”

I half expected Twilight to simply shake her head and tell me that such a simple solution had already been tried unsuccessfully. But to my surprise and delight, she looked to be deep in thought, and a moment later, her eyes went wide.

“Blade Star, you’re a genius!” she exclaimed, suddenly hugged me and lifting my front hooves off the ground. Sometimes she forgets the earth pony strength that comes with being an alicorn.

“Yeah, I get that a lot,” I replied, struggling to get air in. Luckily, she soon released me. “But how do we prove it works?” I asked.

“Simple,” Starlight said, jumping into the conversation. “We do a practical test.”

“But you two can’t help too much,” I replied. “You’re both more powerful than I am. In order to prove that this idea works, I’d need someone more at my magic level; a touch above the norm, but nowhere near you two mares. Otherwise, we wouldn’t be able to know for sure if the spell worked, or if it was just your own magic overriding it when I tried to remove your magic.”

At that moment, somepony cleared her throat, and all three of us turned to face Trixie.

“Perhaps I can help?” the showmare offered, lounging in one of the thrones. “Great and Powerful as I may be on stage, my magic is nowhere near as much as Starlight’s. And purple smart just cheats by being an alicorn.” Twilight snorted in annoyance. Starlight nodded.

“Trixie’s right,” she agreed. “You two have similar magic power levels. If you could prevent her from taking your magic, and vice versa, then we can prove the spell works.”

“Trixie won’t be losing her horn will she?” the unicorn asked with some concern.

“Don’t worry, Trixie,” I replied reassuringly, more than happy to not be on the receiving end of my new spell. “You won’t be trying to take all my magic, just a bit. Any overload will be no worse than a botched levitation spell. But are you sure you’re up for it?” The unicorn leapt to her hooves and, despite presently lacking her cape, struck a pose.

“Of course! The Great and Powerful Trixie is always happy to further the cause of magical science.”

“Great!” I said with a smile. “Try casting a siphon spell then and Ah’ll try and overload it.” There was a pause, followed by an uncomfortable silence. Off to the side, I saw Twilight grin at Trixie.

“Er...how?” Trixie asked. I facehooved.

“Oh for the love of…”





So, my experiment was somewhat delayed as I spent the next hour or so, carefully explaining the workings of the siphon spell to Trixie. Twilight, oh so helpfully, took a seat on her throne and giggled at the unicorn’s ignorance. I swear to Celestia that Trixie brings out the worst in Twilight at times.

Starlight also offered to help me out, as she had some experience of teaching Trixie spells, having taught the unicorn showmare a couple more advanced spells such as transfiguration and teleportation.

The real problem though, was Trixie herself. She’s not exactly what you’d call an ideal student. Between her pride and her overinflated ego, teaching her was more than a challenge. Don’t get me wrong, she’s very gifted when it comes to illusion magic, but I don’t think her talents really lie with this sort of thing.

Still, I wasn’t about to show the poor girl up like that. She could do the spell, I was sure of it, it would just take a bit more effort. I was reminded of the time when I was younger that I tried to learn how to use contact lenses instead of glasses. Of course, I never mastered that either.

I found myself pinching the bridge of my nose, or at least as much as I could with a hoof, in an effort to dispel my growing headache. But at least Trixie was still confident and enthusiastic.

“Alright, Trixie,” I said, opening my eyes and turning back to face her. “Let’s try this one more time and then we’ll take a break.”

Trixie was standing opposite me, a few feet away, but near enough for the spell to latch onto my magic once she finally got it working.

“Trixie is ready once again!” she declared. Ever since we started, partly to boost her confidence I think, she’d fallen back into her stage habit of talking in the third person. I sighed to myself. At least she wanted to learn.

“Okay,” I said. “Now, just like last time. Ah want you to reach out with your magic, just like a levitation spell.” Trixie powered up her horn, which glowed a soft pink colour. “Good, now close your eyes and try to focus on the magic around you. There’s three real sources of magic in this room, Twilight, Starlight and me. Ah’m the nearest, so I should show up more easily. Can ya see me?”

Trixie had her eyes screwed shut, with a look of concentration on her face.

“Yes,” she replied, sounding a little strained. “I can feel your magic.” Good, it had taken us an age just to get her senses attuned to do that.

“Now,” I went on. “My magic should feel like a coil of rope, tied down deep within me. Look for the end of the rope. The loose end.”

This would be finding my horn with her magic, as that would be the point from which the magic would be pulled. It could be done just through the body, but this was a much easier method.

“Trixie has it!” she declared after a few moments. Now we were at our present roadblock; picking up the magic and drawing it out into herself. If it wasn’t pulled directly into her, it would just blossom outward before returning to its rightful owner.

“That’s good, Trixie,” I said in an effort to sound more encouraging. “Now remember, ya need to pull my magic towards you. It’s gotta go into you, or it’ll just return to me like last time.”

At this point, Twilight, who had been reading one of her many books, joined our little lesson again. She’d been pretty quiet ever since we became bogged down at this point of the spell.

“Blade Star, are you sure you don’t want me to call my friend Moondancer?” she asked. “I’m sure she’d love to help with your experiment.” I don’t think she truly meant to be insensitive, but Trixie took that as an insult and went scarlet, and Twilight is still Twilight at times.

“Trixie is more than capable of accomplishing this spell!” she shot back, catching Twilight by surprise. And causing both Starlight and I to look shocked.

“She has already mastered taking hold of a pony’s magic. All that remains is to remove it.”

With that, she lit up her horn and, at long last activated the spell. I suppose, being a variant of dark magic, an amount of negative emotion was required in order to fully power the spell. It was something I really ought to have considered before.

In any case, Trixie finally got the hang of it. Her horn glowed brightly for a moment, before, without any command from me, my magic began to leave me. On instinct, I pulled back. Just as before, the process was painful and did little to slow it. Mind you, Trixie wasn’t drawing it nearly as quickly as Tirek had.

Recalling my own counter move, I began to willingly part with my magic, forcing it out of me, and into the beam of hot white light that was now streaming from my horn. The move seemed to work, as I heard Trixie cry out in surprise. Any moment now, the spell would overload, blow out, and shut down, and my magic would return to me.

Of course, that wasn’t what happened.

I was running on empty, my magic was almost gone. Any second now and my cutie mark would begin to fade. Even though this was only a test, I felt perfectly real fear. I can’t describe it, unless you’ve experienced such a thing, you can’t understand what it feels like to have your magic, your very soul, ripped from you.

Much to my relief, I felt the spell beginning to overload. The beam between us pulsed angrily, and Trixie’s own magic was beginning to falter as she tried to control the spell. A moment later, and it all went off. The spell overloaded and blew. There was a bright flash of light and a strong force of wind. It sent me flying backwards and I wanged my head on the cutie map. I saw stars for a moment and then the world went black.





The next thing I knew, Twilight was standing over me, with Starlight by her side. Both looked deeply concerned.

“Blade Star?” I heard Twilight say, although her voice seemed somewhat far away. “Blade Star, are you alright?”

The world slowly slid back into focus. My head was pounding and I felt pretty weak. My back certainly hurt, as did my head, both of which had taken the brunt of the impact with the map table. I blinked a few times and put a hoof to my still pounding head.

“Urgh, what happened?” I asked blearily, doing my best to sit up.

“It seems your idea worked,” Twilight explained. “But Trixie couldn’t control the cascade reaction and her magic exploded outward.”

I looked down at myself. I had no obvious injuries, and my cutie mark was still there. But I still felt quite weak. A quick check confirmed that I only had a small portion of my usual magic. Shouldn’t my spell have send it all back to me?

“My magic,” I said weakly. “I’ve only got a fraction of it. Why didn’t it flow back to me?” Twilight frowned and turned to Starlight, who in turn looked to Trixie. I was surprised by what I saw, to say the least.

The light blue unicorn was sitting there. She looked a little worse for wear. Her mane was a mess and her horn had the slightest of singe marks on its tip. At first, I didn’t even notice the change in her. It took a few moments for me to realise what had happened.

She was bigger.

Even sitting down, I could see that Trixie was now noticeably larger; around the size of Princess Celestia. Even more strangely, every now and again, her horn seemed to spark slightly, emitting a faint burst of what looked like electricity. I quickly got to my hooves, which took a bit of effort with such limited magic. I felt like I’d just run a marathon.

“What the hay happened to her?!” I exclaimed as the unicorn got up, revealing her full size and height.

“I’d say it’s an effect of taking on your magic, Blade Star,” Starlight explained. “Her body couldn’t cope with all the magic, and so the magic itself altered her to compensate. We saw the same thing happen with Tirek as he took on more and more magic.” I frowned.

“Ah always just attributed that to him bein a centaur,” I replied. “Besides, Twi here didn’t change that much and she had the magic of the alicorns coursin’ through her.”

“But Twilight is an alicorn,” Starlight explained. “Her body is designed to take on incredible amounts of magic; a unicorn isn’t.”

All three of us looked over at Trixie. She seemed a little caught off guard by the change, but seemed none the worse for wear.

“Well, in any case,” I said. “At least we know the counter works, sort of. Even if it knocks both sides down, it might give other ponies a fightin’ chance. Trixie, Ah’ll be happy to relieve y’all of your extra magic now, if ya please.” Twilight however, stepped in.

“Actually, Blade Star,” she said, “If you don’t mind, I’d like to study Trixie for a little while. I never really got a chance to experiment when I had my own magic augmented with the princesses’. I know it is a little disorientating to have such limited magic all of a sudden, but I think it would help us understand both how this spell works, and the effects of magic removal on a pony.”

I frowned at that. Trixie, at the end of the day, was not a pony I’d trust with too much magic. More to the point, I wasn’t too happy about having my own magic kept away from me. On the other hoof though, Twilight did make a couple of good points. We were very much in unknown territory. We would be foolish to not try and learn all we could from this odd mistake.

“Okay, Twilight,” I said at length, getting a wide grin from the alicorn in return. “We can try your little plan for the rest of the afternoon. But Ah don’t want to spend any longer than that without the rest of my magic. Ah feel weak as a kitten as it is.”

“Agreed,” Starlight jumped in. “We don’t want to risk harm to Trixie or Blade Star.”

“How about I take Trixie down to the park. We can do some magic practice there without being disturbed?”





Spike was kind enough to make a packed lunch for the pair of us. It was getting on for lunch time, and since Twilight wanted to run something of a long term experiment, it seemed daft to leave the castle without having something to eat. I stowed it all in a pair of saddlebags, and myself and the slightly enlarged Trixie headed out into town.

The moment we stepped out, ponies started staring. I was in two minds myself. Okay, this was a temporary issue, and Trixie still wasn’t all that powerful. But I also knew that this kind of dark magic could get addictive fast. And let’s not forget, the mare doesn’t exactly have a good record when it comes to having more power than she’s used to. I also couldn’t help but think back to that weird Inspiration Manifestation spell that had somehow got loose. Twilight had to spend ages with Princess Luna undoing all the damage it did, and we never found out who was using it.

Still, as Twilight had said, it was also an interesting opportunity, for the both of us. For myself, I felt tired, like I’d been up for a day or so. Even keeping my head up took a conscious effort. I looked over at Trixie. Walking alongside her, I was eye level with her muzzle.

“So how are ya feelin’, Trixie?” I asked as we headed for the park. The unicorn glanced down at me.

“Quite good now that you mention it,” she replied. “I feel energised, invigorated. Your magic must be quite strong. I’m sure I’ll be much better at magic now.” i nodded in agreement. Still, at least she seemed okay.

“Just promise me you won’t go mad with power or anything, okay? Twilight will have my head if this goes wrong.” Trixie let out a laugh.

“I can assure you, Blade Star, I have no intention of going on some insane rampage through town. As soon as that annoying purple smart is satisfied, I’ll be happy to return your magic to you. I’m sure this isn’t exactly comfortable for you.”

That caught me off guard. Trixie thinking of other ponies. I must be delirious from the lack of magic.

“Ah’m basically feelin’ the opposite to you,” I explained. I took a breath. Just keeping up with Trixie was difficult. “Say, do ya mind if we stop for a minute?”

The two of us stopped and I sat myself down on a nearby bench. This was damn near intolerable! Trixie’s face was one of concern.

“Are you alright, Blade Star?” she asked, sitting next to the bench and laying a comforting hoof on my back. I nodded as I struggled to catch my breath.

“Fine,” I replied. “My reduced magic means Ah’ve got much less stamina than normal. Heck, Ah bet even little Apple Bloom could pin me down now.” Trixie thought for a moment, before an idea seemed to pop into her head.

“Well then,” she said, activating her newly improved magic. “Allow Trixie to offer you some assistance.”

All of a sudden, I felt my body encased in her magic, and with little effort, she lifted me up into the air. My hooves pounded air for a moment out of reflex, before I found myself safely deposited across her back like a saddlebag.

“What the hay, Trixie?!” I exclaimed in some consternation.

“A test of my new magical potential,” Trixie explained. “Increased strength both physically and magically. You feel as if you weigh no more than a loaf of bread back there.”

Well, I certainly couldn’t self levitate myself any more, my magic was far too weak for that. I couldn’t even push myself off her back. So I resigned myself to my fate, reflecting that this was what Spike got to enjoy whenever he went anywhere with Twilight. Luckily, for the rest of the walk we didn’t run into any ponies, so there was no one to see how utterly ridiculous I looked draped over Trixie’s back like a coat.





About five minutes later, and we arrived at the park. Trixie picked out a spot by the lake, under a large oak tree. AJ and I sometimes come here with Winona when the girls organise one of their pet playdates. The collie loves bounding through the park, playing fetch. And being a collie, she never gets tired of it. Or gets the hint that I don’t want to play any more after three hours.

Trixie once again lifted me up in her boosted magic and set me down under the tree, lying down next to me a moment later. At least I didn’t feel tired any more, and I’d come up with a couple of spells for the magician to try out; ones that were typically beyond my reach, never mind her own. But with our magic combined, they ought to be possible.

Still, before that, there was the matter of lunch. Trixie informed me that she was absolutely starving. I could certainly do with the energy boost too, so we both broke out the daisy sandwiches. It certainly made me feel a bit better, although the fog didn’t lift.

As for Trixie, she actually exposed an interesting side effect of the siphon spell. We’d just finished our lunch. I was feeling somewhat better. Trixie though, seemed a little off, and scowled as the empty saddlebags which had previously held our sandwiches. As if on cue, her stomach grumbled.

“Urgh, I’m still hungry,” she complained. I looked up at that.

“Ya shouldn’t be,” I replied. “All that extra magic should’ve reduced your need for food a bit, at least for the meantime.” Trixie’s stomach grumbled again.

“We can go get something to eat from the Hay Burger if ya really want,” I offered. Trixie shook her head.

“It’s strange,” she said. “It’s not as though my stomach feels empty. I’m quite full. But I’m still hungry.” I frowned at the odd contradiction. The only thing similar to that was Prader-Willi Syndrome; an odd condition that stopped the brain receiving signals from the stomach that it was full. The symptoms Trixie was experiencing though, didn’t really match up.

A possibility occured to me as to what was causing this. And so, like any good scientist, I attempted to test my hypothesis.

“Try taking a little more magic from me,” I suggested. Trixie looked down at me, aghast.

“I can’t do that. You’ve virtually no magic left as it is.” I pressed her.

“Just activate the spell for a moment; take a drop of my magic. See if it takes the edge off.”

Trixie hesitated for a moment, before complying. This time, it wasn’t nearly as painful, since the process lasted less than a second. It didn’t have any effect on Trixie’s size either. But it did seem to prove my theory.

“That...actually helped,” Trixie said in surprise. I nodded.

“Ah thought it might,” I replied. “That there spell is dark magic; highly addictive and corruptive if overused. The hunger y’all are feelin’ is a need for magic. It sure as anythin’ explains why Tirek wanted all magic. And why the guy was completely nuts.” Trixie got to her hooves.

“Then I have to get your magic back to you as soon as possible,” she declared. “I let myself get corrupted by dark magic before. I won’t do so again!” She certainly seemed sincere.

Lifting me up in her magic, she helped me walk back to Twilight’s, rather than putting me on her back again. The brief period of novelty from this spell had entirely evaporated. Sure, we’d miss out on getting some more insights, but there was no way I fancied risking losing somepony to dark magic and end up having to banish them to Tartarus. One magic stealing lunatic was quite enough for me.





The two of us soon got back to the castle, and found Twilight organising her personal library along with Spike. The little dragon’s eyes went wide at the noticeably larger Trixie; he barely came up to her knees.

Between the two of us, we explain the risk we’d identified. Trixie needed to return my magic now, or she may well lose the willpower to do so. Twilight quickly agreed with our decision and we set to work reversing the spell; something Tirek certainly never thought about doing.

It took some work, particularly with Trixie’s new hunger getting worse all the time. But we eventually found a way to invert the flow of magic. Twilight taught Trixie the same spell the princesses had used when they temporarily gave their magic to her for safe keeping.

The process was quickly completed. The beam that previously took my magic now returned it to me, allowing me to feel alive again. My strength came back and I felt normal at last. Trixie on the other hand, had a bit of a rougher experience.

I knew something was wrong as soon as the spell finished. The poor showmare, now back to her normal size, instantly doubled up on the floor in absolute agony. I ran over to her, as did Spike and Twilight, her slight animosity towards the magician instantly forgotten.

“Trixie what’s wrong?” I asked, placing a comforting hoof on her in an attempt to get her upright.

“It hurts!” the poor mare exclaimed, clutching her stomach with both forelegs. Twilight and I looked at each other in bewilderment. It was Spike in the end who came up with an explanation.

“She’s still got that whole hunger thing from using the siphon spell,” he said. “And giving back Bones’ magic must have been like losing your lunch. She must feel like she’s starving.” Twilight quickly teleported the lot of us straight to Ponyville General.





Trixie eventually recovered about a week or so later. Still, it wasn’t pleasant. And I couldn’t help but feel responsible for her suffering. With my magic removed, she became desperate for more magic, and Twilight had to restrain her a few times just to get her into the hospital bed. They had to knock her out for the first couple of days.

Twilight said it was like a magical version of withdrawal. Her body had become accustomed to the extra magic, and with it now removed, she felt empty with just her own reserves. The spell manifested this as hunger. The only viable treatments were either allowing her to take somepony else’s magic, not something we were about to allow, since it would most likely just temporarily sate her desire if Tirek was anything to go by, or wait for her body to readjust.

And so, over the course of a week, she slowly recovered. After four days, she was awake and talking again, with only some pain. And by the end of the week, Twilight and Doctor Horse were happy for her to be discharged, under the condition she never use the siphon spell again, as withdrawal would be worse. Trixie readily agreed.

I met her when she was discharged with a few flowers from the garden back on the farm as an apology. I’d wanted to understand that spell, and try and overcome it. I never wanted to put anypony in harm’s way; certainly not what Trixie had to go through.

She was understanding though, and quite forgiving really. I’d expected her to be pretty mad at me. But the first thing she did when she saw me was hug me. And then eat the flowers I’d brought. I’ve really got to remember that ponies don’t ascribe the same meaning to them.

“It’s good to see you, Trixie,” I said as we broke apart. “I’m sorry for what happened.” Trixie smiled.

“Think nothing of it, Blade Star,” she replied with a wave of the hoof. “Trixie said she was willing to further the cause of magical science. And together, with the help of that annoying purple smart, I think we have.”

And that was when Beatrix Lulamoon and I became friends.
> Chapter 5 - A Strange Meeting
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“There ya go, Cheerilee. Six red delicious, and there’s ya change,” I said, handing both produce and coins over to the schoolteacher.

“Thanks, Bones,” she said kindly, taking the bag in her mouth and putting coins into her saddlebag before heading off.

Today, I was working on the market stall. We all take it in turns doing this. It gives whoever draws the job an effective day off from the farm, since the stall runs all day long until the market shuts at five. I’ve gotten pretty good at it over the last few years. When I first started I was terrible, years of poor mental maths combined with a reliance on computerised tills made things a little awkward at first. Still, most ponies were quite accommodating, and I soon picked things up again. Applejack was quite happy for me to run the stall on my own.

The other issue of course, was haggling. Outside of Bargain Hunt or Antiques Roadshow, your common or garden Brit doesn’t really do much in the way of haggling. Everything costs what it says it does. I can’t begin to tell you how confused I was on a trip to the States. I mean, why put a price on something without adding the VAT? Why is that such a foreign concept to those people? If you put a price on something, it should be that price, not that price plus some mental maths to add on tax.

Anyway, I’m rambling. But haggling was something that took a bit more time to pick up. It was actually Mum who helped me out in that regard. She’d gone on holiday to Egypt before I was born, and had spent quite a while in the many souks. Like Equestria, out and out haggling was the norm there. Trust me when I say, it’s a lot harder than it looks. I had a chance to prove that when Rarity trotted up to my stall.

The Element of Generosity and I are quite good friends. I may not have a knack for fashion, but I can still recognise good work when I see it. I’ve even helped out the unicorn fashionista a couple times, such as when I accompanied her to a black tie reception in Canterlot as part of a fashion show.

That was before she opened Canterlot Boutique. My how time flies.

Anyway, it was always nice to see Rarity. Even if she does occasionally try to convince me to lend a hoof with some project or another. Luckily, asexual as I am, her fluttering eyelids don’t work on me. If only the same could be said of Spike.

“Howdy, Rarity,” I said, touching the brim of my hat in time honoured fashion. “What can Ah get for ya?” The unicorn smiled at me.

“A couple of your best gala’s, if you please, Blade Star,” she replied. “Sweetie Belle and I are heading down to the park, and I think we could both use a bite to eat while we’re there.”

With a nod, I turned around and quickly searched through our produce. Gala apples were always quite popular as a rule. Being nice and sweet make them a good healthy snack. As such we always had a fairly decent stock, although looking at the bushel just now, we were getting a mite low. Activating my magic, I levitated a pair of them out and placed them on the counter. Now for the bargaining. And I assure, you, Rarity is an expert.

“How does six bits sound?” I asked. I always like to open with something a bit above anything reasonable. That way, when you haggle them down to a normal price, they reckon they’ve got a saving.

“Six?” Rarity asked in some surprise. “Come now, darling, that’s a bit steep, don’t you think? How about two?”

Ah, like an experienced haggler, she’d countered my ridiculously high offer, with a very low one. Of course, there was no real rivalry in either of us. Half of haggling is just being sure you’re paying a fair price really, rather than trying to get a cheap one.

“Sorry, Rarity. Can’t do that, Ah’m afraid. How ‘bout five?” You don’t want to give too much ground or they might beat you to the fair middle. Rarity though, broke with convention a little.

“How about four?” she suggested. “That’s as high as I’m willing to go.” She flashed me a smile. Ever generous, she’d skipped a bit of negotiating, and the opportunity to shave off one more bit from the price.

“Done,” I said, levitating the apples into her saddlebags like the gentlecolt I try to be.

Rarity passed me the four gold coins, emblazoned with Celestia and Luna’s cutie marks. And rather generously, a couple gems by way of a tip too. Gems serve as sort of pocket change in Equestria, since there’s no formal currency below the single bit.

“Thank you, darling,” she said as she gathered up her things. “Say hello to Applejack and the others for me.” I nodded and smiled as the unicorn walked away.

“Of course, Rarity,” I replied. “See ya round.”





Rarity was the last customer I had for a while. Business tends to come in the style of famine or feast in Ponyville. You get plenty of business in the morning when you open up, and a fair share at lunchtime, but between those times, business tends to be a bit slow.

It does give me a chance to organise things though. I think I’ve always been a touch aspergers, although I prefer just to be called weird if I’m honest. And there was that one teacher in Year 8 who described me as a High Functioning Sociopath. But that was a misunderstanding really. She asked me why I was so quiet and I, jokingly, replied that you didn’t plan murders out loud.

That got me sent to the headshrinkers.

But anyway, I spent the next twenty minutes or so restocking some of the produce on display and tallying up the profits so far, as well as topping up the cash float. I’d just about finished when what I thought was another customer turned up.

There was a sudden whooshing sound followed by a dull thud of hooves on the ground in front of me. Looking up, I found myself eye to eye with Rainbow Dash. The firebrand pegasus must’ve just landed in front of the stall. That caught me off guard and made me jump, much to her delight. She let out that familiar scratchy laugh of hers.

“Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, featherbrain,” I said, as I straightened my stetson on my head and did my best to stop blushing in embarrassment.. Eventually, RD managed to get her laughter under control.

“Sorry, Bones,” she said. “It was just so funny...your face, it was like.” She then pulled a face similar to ‘The Scream’. I rolled my eyes at her exaggeration.

“Alright, Rainbow. What can Ah get for ya? Some Honeycrisps like last time?” Dash however, shook her head.

“Sorry, Bones, but I’m not buying today. I saw Applejack when I was practicing my new Wonderbolt routine over by the farm. She asked me to tell you to get some firewood from Burnt Oak before you close up the stall and head back to the farm.”

Ah, that made sense. We had been running a bit low. Despite the pleasant temperature we’d been enjoying these past couple of days, the nights were starting to get chillier as we moved towards autumn. Granny Smith in particular felt the cold, particularly as the farmhouse isn’t that well insulated. Maybe Big Mac and me could do something about that? Shoot, maybe I could introduce Equestria to the concept of double glazing.

“Thanks for the heads up, Dash,” I said kindly. I levitated an apple over to her. “Here, for your trouble. On the house.” Dash grinned and quickly took her reward.

“Thanks, Bones,” she said, taking a bite. “Though I don’t see why you can’t just chop down a couple apple trees for firewood instead of buying it.”

“It takes time for new trees to grow, Rainbow,” I explained. “If we cut down apple trees whenever we needed firewood, before long we wouldn’t have a farm. The only firewood we get is when wind blows down a tree or two, or if one contracts disease. Everythin’ else we get from off the farm from ponies like Burnt Oak. He sells us some decent firewood that burns well, and me and Mac chop it up.” Dash digested that in silence.

“Eh, makes sense I guess,” she admitted. “Anyway, gotta go.” She prepared to take off.

“Say hi to Lizzie for me will ya?” I called out as she shot off into the sky.

So, I had myself one more chore to finish up before I headed home this evening.





As evening rolled around, I found myself packing up the store. It’s really just a single wagon at the end of the day. But like those American campervans, it folds out when it’s all set up. Business had been pretty good, I’d made more than bit of money, certainly enough to keep us going. The Apples’ do have savings of course, but farming, as I think I said before, is always a precarious occupation when it comes to finances. Today though, had been a good day. There was hardly anything left to take back to the farm in terms of produce, and plenty of bits held in a small bag, locked away in the wagon’s interior.

Hooking myself into the harness, I prepared to head back home, after stopping by Burnt Oak’s stall of course. I didn’t really know him too well, although AJ and Big Mac were good friends with him. And she’d told me on more than one occasion that I’d probably get on well with him.

According to the latter, Burnt Oak had been a friend of his father’s back when they were colts. The two of them had been like brothers. But whereas Mac’s old man had opted to stay in Ponyville and look after the family business, Burnt Oak had decided to strike out on his own. He’d gone south to the frontier and become, what I suppose humans would call an Indian Fighter. He kept the Buffalo tribes, who were then in conflict with pony settlers, away from the newly sprouting towns and railroads. But as that conflict had drawn to a close, and with his age advancing, he’d returned to his old home town, and set up shop selling firewood.

I soon came upon said shop. The aged stallion was still there. He was a bit like me. His coat was a dark, coal dust grey, with a hint of brown to it. His mane and tail were white, as was his moustache. On his head, rested a slightly crumpled gambler style hat, and there was a checked blue bandana tied around his neck. All in all, he summed up in one pony the image of the frontier. The closest thing Equestria has to an old gunslinger.

“Evenin’, Burnt Oak,” I called out, catching his attention. The older stallion looked up from his own work.

“Howdy, partner,” he replied. “What can Ah do for ya?” His accent was a bit more of the frontier than the Apples’ or my own was, but it was soft too, he was the kind of fella that could talk his way out of a Mexicolt standoff.

“Applejack asked me to pick up some firewood for her,” I explained. “It’s been gettin mighty cold these past few nights.” Burnt Oak nodded.

“It sure has,” he replied. “Applejack should’ve said somethin’ when she and her siblings all came by the other day. Ah could’ve given them a nice discount too.” That surprised me.

“Applejack was here?” I asked. “When?” Burnt Oak explained.

“She came down here with Big Mac and Apple Bloom earlier this week. Wanted to talk with me about her dad.”

That got me to prick up my ears. In the entire time I’ve known Applejack, she’s never once brought up her parents. The whole incident is just something we don’t talk about. The show never really elaborated on it either, aside from hinting quite obviously that they were dead, which had been confirmed in my own experiences. I’ve never asked her about it, or Mac. But every now and again, AJ will get a sad look in her eye, and I know she’s thinking of them. So to come down to Burnt Oak’s shop to talk about them in public seemed like quite an unusual thing to do.

“What did she want to know?” I asked, hoping I wasn’t pushing my luck too much. Burnt Oak seemed glad to talk about it though.

“They wanted to hear how Bright Mac and Pear Butter first met,” he explained.

“Pear Butter?” I asked in confusion. I had done some research on AJ’s parents myself. Her mother had always been referred to as Buttercup.

“That was her name,” Burnt Oak replied. “But Bright Mac always used to call her Buttercup. The pet name sorta stuck over the years. She’s actually from the Pears lineage.”

Woah, time out for a second. Apples and Pears in Equestria are like the blue and the grey; bitter enemies. I never thought that either would end up marrying. Heck, even today, Granny Smith won’t have anything pear related in the house. She also gets on pretty well with Time Turner too as a result. AJ and Mac aren’t like that though, the feud pretty much ended with her generation. For one thing, the Pear family moved away many years ago, certainly before the start of the series. All Apple Bloom knows is that Granny gets mad if you mention pears.

“Bright Mac married a Pear?” I exclaimed. “Ah thought there was a whole feud between the two families.” Burnt Oak nodded.

“There was,” he explained. “Bright Mac had to see his marefriend in secret, without Granny Smith findin’ out. Celestia knows Ah had to cover for him on the farm more than a few times.”

“Ya used to work on Sweet Apple Acres?”

“Sure,” Burnt Oak replied. “When Ah was a colt Ah did it to get a few extra bits. It’s also where Ah got this from.” He indicated his hat. “A gift from Bright Mac.”

“So what happened then? Ah mean, obviously Bright Mac and Pear Butter married. But how?”

“Secret weddin’, partner. Mayor Mare did it all, and me and Mrs. Cake were the witnesses. Granny Smith and Grand Pear, Pear Butter’s father, found out about it. But they had no choice but to respect it. After that, the Pear family left town, And Buttercup, as everypony called her, stayed with the Apples’.”

Burnt Oak certainly seemed to be a fountain of knowledge. I’ve always wondered about AJ’s parents. Who they were, what they were like. I’ve seen photographs of course, but it would have been nice to meet them.

The two of us chatted a little while longer. Burnt Oak spun a few yarns from his youth. He and Bright Mac were apparently quite a pair of troublemakers in their day, and both went on to lead very interesting lives. I considered asking the one remaining obvious question, but in the end decided against it. It wouldn’t be fair to Burnt Oak, and AJ or Mac would tell me when they were ready. I can’t imagine going through what they did, and at such a young age too. Poor Apple Bloom was just a baby, and AJ and Mac were still in their teens. As if life on a farm wasn’t difficult enough. I could see why Applejack had gone to Manehattan.

Putting those thoughts to one side for the time being, I purchased the firewood I needed. It wasn’t much; just a few logs. Burnt Oak himself said that we had plenty of wood to use. To be fair, that is partially true. We certainly have plenty of trees, but as I said to Dash, we like to avoid chopping them down unless we have to.

Paying my dues, I threw the bundle onto the back of the wagon and hooked myself back into the harness. Thanking Burnt Oak for his time, and bidding him a good evening, I set off for home.





The journey back took a little longer than I expected. There was quite a quantity of firewood in the wagon, along with everything else that made up the stall. While for Big Mac, it wouldn’t be too much trouble, for me, it was a pretty heavy load. Normally, once you get a wagon moving, you can get enough speed up so that you don’t need as much effort to keep it moving. Think how hard it is to push a car at first, but how easy it gets once it’s rolling. That was the problem I had, and even throwing all my weight forward, I couldn’t get up much momentum.

So I had to put up with hauling the wagon at something just below walking pace. It turned what should have been a twenty minute journey home into the better part of three quarters of an hour.

And of course, it never rains, but it pours. As well as hauling the heavy wagon, I also had to contend with a spot of bad weather. With autumn coming on in leaps and bounds, the weather was becoming decidedly wetter. I’d seen a couple pegasi from the local crew start putting together a sizeable rain cloud that morning. And now it was dumping its load on Ponyville, as per schedule. That meant wet roads and mud, making my task even harder.

Still, at least I had my hat to keep my head dry.

As I came onto the farm at last, and walked up the main road, surrounded on either side by the apple trees, the storm kicked up a notch. I guess they really needed a big number doing, since the rain soon turned to thunder and lightning. It was strange really. The sky was cloudy, but the sunset was covering everything in hues of reds and golds. It was like a summer shower, only much more intense.

As I continued on, the wind really got up. The trees swayed and bowed in the gale and I pulled my hat down in front of my eyes to try and protect myself. I would certainly be glad to get home, and curl up in front of the fire. I was presently half way through re-reading Seven Pillars.

As I neared the farmhouse though, my luck ran out. I really ought to have tied the wagon up somewhere safe and legged it for the house. But I didn’t want to leave all the kit out to get knackered by the wind and rain.

As I rounded the corner, my ears, in spite of the wind, picked up the tell tale sound of splintering wood close at hoof. I barely had time to look up to see it before it was on me. It wasn’t a whole tree or anything, but the branch was sizeable enough to rap me on the head and knock me down. I felt the heavy branch fall hard on the back of my neck. I saw stars for a moment, lost my footing, and then the whole world went black. I was sparked out.





I came to in...well, I’m not entirely sure where to this day. It resembled the dreamscape, in that it had a sort of astral quality to it. There was no physical floor; I just seemed to be standing on nothingness. I couldn’t really judge distance either. For all i knew this place could stretch on for light years, or just a couple more feet.

I found myself looking around, trying to find...anything really. I wasn’t entirely sure how I’d gotten here. The last thing i remembered was taking a rap on the back of the neck. At the time, I didn’t realise that it had been enough to knock me out.

As I tried to get my bearings, I saw an odd light in front of me. That was when I first started to worry. Seeing a bright light at a time like this is never a good thing. And by Luna I was determined to stay far away from it. I actually began to slowly back away.

But the light followed me, slowly closing the distance between us. Eventually, I found myself just coming to a stop. I could hardly just keep backing away forever, now could I? There seemed to be little else to do than see what happened.

The light stopped perhaps six feet away from me. It was bright enough that I had to put a foreleg up in front of my eyes. It was as bright as the sun. But a few moments later, it began to dim, and before too long, I was able to look again. And what I saw, well, let’s just say it gave me pause.

There were two ponies standing there now; a stallion and a mare. The stallion resembled Apple Bloom in colouration, with that same light yellow coat and bright red mane. On his head rested a light brown stetson that looked almost too small for him. He was a large fellow, perhaps a shade larger than Big Mac, and his cutie mark was a green apple with a star in the centre. The mare on the other hand had a pale gamboge coat, with an orange mane done up in plaid stripes, and her cutie mark was a jar filled with what looked like apple sauce.

I recognised both ponies almost instantly, even if my only point of reference was a few faded sepia tone photographs. They were Bright Mac and Pear Butter. Applejack’s parents. Ponies who I knew to be dead.

Now, I’m not a religious man, no God fearing cretin, but I had to confess, I had absolutely no explanation for what I was seeing, whether by science or magic. Here I was standing in the a void, face to face, with two ponies who had been dead for at least a decade.

“H-hello?” I said, unsteadily. The two ponies smiled at me, as if they knew me.

“Hello, Blade Star,” Pear Butter said. That caught me out. It seemed they did know me.

“How...how do you know my name?” I asked. Bright Mac spoke up now.

“Well,” he said, in an accent a little softer than Braeburn’s that bellied his impressive size. “It makes sense to know a little bit about the stallion our daughter’s taken an interest in.”

Okay, now I know I’m going mad. Pear Butter let out a melodious laugh, not that dissimilar to Applejack’s.

“Oh, don’t scare him, Bright Mac,” she said, elbowing him in the side. “The poor colt has had enough of a shock as it is.”

“How can you be here?” I asked, now quite alarmed. Pear Butter smiled sadly.

“We’re not, and neither are you. At the moment, you’re lying on the ground back on Sweet Apple Acres, unconscious.” She obviously saw my worried expression as she continued. “Don’t worry, you’ll come around in a few minutes. Although I’d get that bump on the head looked at just to be safe.”

“Right now,” Bright Mac went on. “You’re at a sort of halfway point. We saw what was happening and decided to come and talk to you. Buttercup’s been wanting to meet you for ages.” I found myself smiling at the whole situation.

“Ah’m glad we all got to meet too, Ah suppose,” I replied, now sounding a little more relaxed. “Though ah can’t say ah expected it. Ya know, it’s funny, Ah always wondered if y’all would be watchin’, or if any of that stuff about an afterlife was true.”

“In a way, it is,” Pear Butter said, a little cryptically. “I’m just glad we’re able to check in from time to time.” I though back to the various nods to AJ’s parents in the series, particularly that pair of shooting stars.

And so, the three of us got to talking. They already knew a fair bit about me. I was glad I didn’t have to explain anything about the show to them. But they only had brief flashes of their children’s lives, and were eager to learn what they were up to. I got on well with both of them. Pear Butter was just like her daughter, while Bright Mac had the build of his son, and the happy go lucky outlook of his youngest daughter.

It certainly made for a strange take on the traditional ‘meet the parents’ scenario. I was just glad Big Mac had already put the frighteners on me before when AJ and I first started going out. Bright Mac though didn’t seem like the type to do that sort of thing. Although I think it was mainly because he was already quite accepting of me.

Eventually though, our time together, strange as it had been, began to run out. The world shimmered and flickered around us.

“What’s going on?” I asked the two ponies.

“You’re wakin’ up,” Pear Butter explained. “We don’t have much time.”

“Well, will I ever see you again?” I asked, suddenly becoming desperate to get all the information I could. “Is there any way for Big Mac, AJ or Apple Bloom to come here?” The pair shook their heads.

“This place is between life and death, Blade Star,” Pear Butter said. “To come here you need to be badly injured. Stay here too long, and you’ll never leave. You need to go back.” I nodded sadly.

“Do us a favour though,” Bright Mac added. I looked up. “Applejack often comes to our old tree, to talk, she asked us a question. Could you tell her, the answer is, every day.”

I nodded in understanding as they, and the world around them, began to fade from my view. Although I had no idea how I was going to explain any of this to anypony, never mind Applejack. I mean, it’s not every day you have a near death experience and meet your marefriend’s dead parents, now is it?

Eventually, a few moments later, the two of them vanished completely, with a parting wave. As for me, I was once again blinded by that sodding bright light.





My vision swam, I couldn’t see much beyond the occasional blur. My hearing on the other hoof, seemed to be back up to full strength. I could hear the sound of the rain, still as intense, as well as the odd rumble of thunder in the distance. Blinking my eyes a few times, my eyesight slowly came back. It was clear that I was once again back on Sweet Apple Acres. And more to the point, I was still on the ground, with a sizeable tree branch resting on the back of my head.

Trying to get to my hooves, I felt a jolt of pain shoot up my spine and my vision went for a moment. Putting a hoof to the back of my throbbing head, I found that I had a nasty cut to the back of my head, which was still bleeding a little.

Steeling myself, I did my best to push the fallen branch off of me. It took some effort, but I was able to get on my hooves. The wagon was right where I’d left it. In my fall, it had somehow gotten unhooked, but was otherwise none the worse for wear, in spite of the foul weather. I was just about to hook myself back up and try to get home, when I heard voices on the wind.

“Bones!” a voice called. “Bones, are y’all out here?!” I quickly recognised it as Applejack. Not too far ahead, I saw a light moving through the trees. I called back, although my voice was pretty hoarse, if you’ll excuse the pun.

“Over here!” I hollered back. A few moments later, and I was joined by both Applejack and Big Mac. Mac was holding a lantern in his mouth, giving us all some illumination in the dark. It was obviously after dark now, and the storm just made visibility worse.

“Oh, thank Celestia!” Applejack explained, pulling me into a hug that probably did some damage to my ribcage, she sometimes forgets her earth pony strength. “When ya didn’t come back for supper, Mac and me got worried.” I gestured to the battered tree.

“I got whacked on the head by that,” I explained. Applejack saw the bad cut on the back of my head and soon had Mac bandaging it up with some cloth from the wagon. With that done, the two siblings helped me get back to the farmhouse, where an equally worried Granny Smith and Apple Bloom were waiting.





I soon found myself laid up on the couch, in front of the fire. My wound had been redressed with a proper bandage and I had some warm food in my belly. It was pretty late, but AJ insisted on spending the night downstairs with me, and waking me up every other hour to be sure I didn’t have a concussion. She made it very clear that I was going to see Nurse Redheart tomorrow.

I wasn’t sure what to tell her. Had it been real, or was it just a dream brought on by a serious head injury? She’d never really talked about her parents, and it somehow felt like I would be overstepping my bounds if I said anything. Then again, I’d given Bright Mac and Pear Butter my word. I doubt they’d think much of me if I broke my promise to them.

So, I tried to step lightly and bring a pretty much sealed book up to the surface.

“‘Jack?” I said, catching her attention, I think she was starting to doze off herself. “There’s somethin’ Ah gotta tell ya.”

Applejack at once roused herself a little, blinking her eyes a few times in an effort to stave off sleep. She looked at me with those kind green eyes. I did my best to step carefully around this difficult subject,

“What...what do ya think happens when we die?” I asked. Applejack looked at me with some surprise. “Do ya think we end up in some paradise, or is it just darkness waitin for us?” AJ got up and came to sit next to me.

“Sugarcube,” she replied softly. “That may have been a close call, but Ah can assure ya that ya ain’t goin nowhere for a good while yet.” I shook my head.

“It’s not that it’s…” I trailed off. AJ tilted her head to one side.

“What?” I sighed.

“Do ya believe in ghosts, AJ? Spirits, phantoms, echoes?” She shrugged her shoulders.

“Ah don’t know, sugarcube. Never really thought about it.” Her eyes darted away and she scrunched up her snout in that way she does when she’s lying. I let it slide.

“When...when Ah was knocked out tonight,” I said, my voice going quiet. “Ah found myself in this...strange place. And Ah met some ponies...ponies Ah know to be long gone.” I paused as I tried to keep my composure, and braced myself for AJ’s reaction. “Applejack, Ah saw your folks...they came to talk to me.”

I’ve never seen Applejack as angry as she was in that moment. I barely had time to process the look before I felt a sharp stinging sensation on my cheek as she slapped me. And I can tell you she poured her earth pony strength into it too. When I looked back, she was crying, sobbing.

“You shut your mouth, Bones!” she snarled through the tears. I rubbed my cheek with a hoof. That was gonna leave a mark.

“Ah mean it, Applejack,” I shot back. “Why would Ah lie ‘bout somethin’ like this?”

“Ah don’t know and Ah don’t care!” she replied, her voice now almost shouting. I was worried that she’d wake the others up. She got up to leave.

“They told me you asked them a question, at the old tree,” I called after her. She stopped in her tracks, her ears perked up. “They said the answer was ‘every day’.”

Applejack turned around to face me. Until now, I was worried that we were really going to have a fight, or that she’d sic Big Mac on me. I feared that I was going to lose her over this, and that had set me crying too. Now though, all that anger seemed to be gone, replaced solely by grief. She believed me.

“What did you ask them, Applejack?” AJ sniffed and blinked back tears as she walked over and sat down with me again on the couch.

“Ah…” Applejack sobbed again and wiped her eyes with a foreleg. “Ah asked them....do Ah make them proud?”

And with that, the two of us broke down. The both of us tend to keep our emotions under the surface. We don’t let it show too often. Even Pinkie points out that AJ cries on the inside. But at that moment, any self-control we had left, just broke. I found myself holding Applejack as she sobbed deeply onto my shoulder, staining my coat with her tears. I was no better.

We ended up staying like that the rest of the night. Eventually, the two of us got a hold on our emotions and we just hugged each other, glad that our brief fight was over. I think it gave Applejack some closure too. Although if you ask me, I think she’s always known that they were watching over her, proud of her.

The two of us decided to keep the strange incident to ourselves. It was something beyond science or magic, beyond anything we could really hope to understand. So it would be our little secret.

AJ fell asleep before I did, and I found myself looking out of the window, onto the moonlit fields and orchards. Looking up at the sky, I saw two shooting stars pass us by.

And I knew it to be them.
> Chapter 6 - Trunk Call
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Long distance communication in Equestria, and indeed outside it, is rather limited. Equestria is at an odd place in terms of technology. The advent of cinemas with sound and moving colour pictures would suggest that they’re somewhere around the mid to late 20th century. At the same time though, firearms are non-existent, with blades remaining the weapon of choice, despite Pinkie’s party cannon also being a thing. And then, as I said, there’s communication. Here’s the place that sits squarely in the nineteenth century. If you want to send a message, you have two options. You can either entrust it to the Equestrian Postal Service; the pony equivalent to the Royal Mail, or you can send short messages quickly by telegraph.

To their credit, the Equestrians’ telegraph network is extensive. Even out on the frontier you will have little difficulty in finding a telegraph office. You can get a message from Canterlot, to Manehattan, and down to Dodge Junction in less than twenty minutes. It certainly isn’t like the days of the American Pony Express, if you’ll excuse the slight pun.

Still, the system is not without its flaws. Messages still need to be delivered to their intended recipient, either by one of the many messengers, or by the recipient themself dropping by the office. And of course, it was simply a matter of a rogue storm knocking down the wires and a town would find itself cut off, as Canterlot did several months later when those ape vermin snipped the wires.

Nonetheless, it was an effective enough system, in a society which had not seen the need to invest in radio or telephone technology. Whereas humans are always seeking the newest piece of kit, the philosophy of the ponies seems to be ‘if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it’. And between you and me, I have my suspicions that certain technologies are deliberately stifled by a certain white alicorn princess.

There was one alternative, of course, and that was Spike. As unconventional as his fire breath might be, he was effectively a fax machine, albeit one that could only transmit to a single receiver. But he was far quicker than any telegraph, and could produce letters, rather than the awkward morse generated messages from the wire. If Twilight or the others were needed, Celestia could contact her in seconds. And unlike wiring her, there was no risk of interception.

But Spike was one of a kind. His magical fire breath is an oddity, not found in other dragons. My own and Twilight’s research suggest that it is the result of her hatching him, when her magic surged and inadvertently caused him to grow to his adult size. It also explains his somewhat delayed maturation. While there isn’t that much written about dragons, I know that he really ought to have gone through his first molt by now.

So, in the absence of technological development, or a way to copy whatever had happened to Spike all those years ago, sending messages across Equestria was a primitive affair. It certainly wasn’t possible to do things like conference calls here. Any important government meeting, and all the representatives had to travel up to Canterlot. However, a conversation with Twilight showed me another possibility.





“She did what?!” I exclaimed in a blind fury. At that particular moment, the issue of alternative communication methods was the last thing on my mind.

“Now, Blade Star, relax,” Twilight said placatingly. It wasn’t very effective.

“You just told me that that ex-villain pupil of yours switched the cutie marks of the two most powerful ponies in Equestria and turned the government on its head!” I shot back. “Ah’ll relax later, thank you very much!”

“Starlight is going to undo the spell as soon as possible. It’s only for one day, and then their cutie marks can be swapped back.” I snorted in irritation.

Let me back a minute and explain briefly how we got here. Starlight had been summoned by the map to Canterlot. Twilight had suggested she stay in the castle, which Celestia had happily agreed to. Initially, they all assumed the friendship problem would be with one of the city’s many uptight nobles. However, on arrival, Starlight found the two sisters were once again at loggerheads.

Luckily, this time it wasn’t about to turn into a world ending event. For all their power and might, Celestia and Luna are still sisters, and do bicker from time to time. However, this time, they were really getting on each others nerves. Seeing this, Starlight, through a series of decisions I can’t begin to fathom, used her magic to swap their cutie marks around, and even more foolishly, she locked the spell for a day. I’m pretty sure Dad and me hit the roof at the same time. He even wanted to arrest Starlight on the spot for breach of her parole, until Celestia calmed him down.

How did we know all this from the castle in Ponyville you ask? Twilight had come up with quite the clever idea, object possession. It was a pretty complex spell, but it didn’t require too much in the way of magic. In effect, it allowed you to turn an object into a transmitter and receiver. She took inspiration from Chrysalis’ ability to manifest an image of herself in the crystal caves. While the spell was different, the principle was the same. Twilight had used a music box in Starlight’s room. She became the ballerina on it and was able to see and hear through its eyes. It let her talk to Starlight as if she were in the same room.

The whole incident was luckily cleared up without too much trouble. As daft as Starlight’s plan appeared to be, it actually did come good in the end. Celestia and Luna realised why they were so often arguing and gained a fair bit of insight from almost literally walking in each other’s horseshoes. After a minor nightmare incident that Celestia helped defeat, the two were able to swap their marks back over and were all the better for it.

Twilight was actually quite proud of her students’ actions, despite her initial...shall we say terrified panic resulting in hyperventilation? Still, if you ask me, Starlight still needs to learn that not everything can be solved with your horn. Friendship may be magic, but magic is not friendship in and of itself. And you sure as hay can’t use magic to get it.





Anyway, back to my earlier point; quick, long distance communication. After the little crisis was over and done with and Starlight had returned to Ponyville, I found myself fascinated with Twilight’s little gimmick. Okay, in her case, you had to be a ballerina, but the idea was sound enough. Any number of objects could theoretically be turned into the closest thing Equestria had to Skype.

I spent a couple days with the alicorn, trying to learn the spell for myself. As I said, it didn’t require too much in the way of magic. It was certainly well within my capabilities, although it might be a bit too much for your average unicorn (not that I’m tooting my own horn). It took some effort to activate the spell, and a fair bit of concentration to maintain it, but I eventually managed to get it to work.

Well, as I’ve said many times, I’m always looking to improve my repertoire of spells. You never know when you’ll need a stun spell, shield, teleport, or even the ability to split your personality into bits. So I decided to perfect it.

I wasn’t as good as Twilight of course, She could manifest a three dimensional image and fit it into the object. In her case, replacing the ballerina figure with herself. I on the other hoof, could only really do two dimensional images, and without colour. In that sense, I suppose it was a little closer to Skype.

I first tried it at a fairly short range. From Twilight’s castle, I managed to manifest myself on one of the pans hanging in the kitchen back on Sweet Apple Acres. I ended up inadvertently scaring the living daylights out of poor Granny Smith.

Initially, that would have been enough for me. I’d proven that I could do the spell, and I only really needed it for a short range, since I so rarely left Ponyville. However, I remembered that an important date was coming up; Luna’s birthday.

Now, Princess Celestia’s birthday is a heavily celebrated occasion, with plenty of pomp and circumstance. The Royal Guard perform their trooping of the colour for her, representatives from every city in Equestria come to give her a gift, even ambassadors from allied nations come to pay call on her. It’s a bit stressful for her, and she often has a private party with her closest friends and family afterwards.

In contrast, Luna prefers to keep her celebration to a minimum. I suppose once you get past the six hundred mark you start feeling a bit old. Although curiously, neither of the alicorns ever put a number to their birthday, so I’m not entirely sure how old either of them are, besides being over a millenia. Regardless, the night princess doesn’t get the same treatment as her older sister, and nor does she wish it. However, I always make a point of sending her a gift of some sort each year.

I would have liked to go up to Canterlot personally to see her. But, what with the farm and my own responsibilities, it was difficult to do so. And that’s before you think about the train fares; I envy my dad with his royal pass.

This new spell however, gave me something of an opportunity. To quote a good book; ‘If the mountain will not go to Muhammed, Muhammed must go to the mountain’. This object possession spell would allow me to go to Canterlot castle, without ever leaving my room on Sweet Apple Acres. I could go up there in a moment and say hello to Luna, give her birthday wishes and see her get my present. It would be a nice opportunity to talk to her outside of the dreamscape.





So, I set to work. The first thing I needed to do was find a suitable object that I could use to communicate through. Given my somewhat limited ability with the spell, it needed to be something reflective, like a mirror or a pane of glass.

Now, I was sure that there was plenty of such things in Canterlot castle. But there were a couple practical problems. First of all, I didn’t know where Luna would be at any given moment. I certainly didn’t like the idea of manifesting myself in her personal chambers; that struck me as a pretty major violation of protocol and an intrusion into her privacy. But I couldn’t just keep fluttering around every mirror and window in the castle; the guards would throw a right fit.

The other issue related to the spell itself. As with teleportation spells, you need to be able to visualise what you want. So to make myself appear in a single place, I needed an exact image in my mind. Twilight knew the castle like the back of her hoof, and knew exactly where the music box was and what it looked like. But as I haven’t visited the castle in quite some time, I couldn’t do that. As a result, I wouldn’t be able to form the spell properly.

The best alternative then, was to send something up there that I could use. That was where my gift came into play.

I’d gotten Luna a very nice pocket watch you see. It had cost me a fair few bits and was plated with sterling silver. I’d even commissioned Time Turner to inscribe the cover with High Gallifreyan markings. It actually resembled his own fob watch that he used to store his consciousness when the need arose. It even kept track of the phases of the moon. The glass covering the clock face would be ideal for the spell. And as I knew its exact details, I could make it work.

All that remained then was getting it up to Canterlot. And there was one person in my family who was perfectly suited for that job.





“Please, Dad,” I begged, doing my best to mimic Apple Bloom’s pleading face. “Ah just need ya to take it up to Canterlot and hand it to Luna.”

My Dad, who was standing in his front door, looked down at me with a frown. He took the watch that was floating in my magic and examined it for himself. He then passed it back to me and folded his arms.

“So you want me,” he said. “To forgo my normal duties as an officer of the court and advisor to their Celestial Majesties, in order to act as a glorified delivery boy?” I rolled my eyes.

“C’mon, ya know how the post office can be. ‘Specially with Derpy down there. Ah want to be sure that Luna gets my present on time. It’d only take you five minutes.” I put on my best puppy dog eyes. Unfortunately, I don’t think it really works with stallions.

Still, Dad cracked a smile at me and picked up the watch again. Opening the cover, he looked at the delicate instrument.

“Well, before I do,” he replied half seriously. “I think you should at least wind the damn thing and set it to the proper time.” I smiled back at him. Taking the watch in my magic, I quickly set it up and wound it. That would keep it going for at least a full day.

Dad took the small trinket, along with the card that would sit inside the watch and put it in his coat pocket, promising to deliver it to Luna first thing in the morning. After all, he could only do it then, or just before he went home, due to the night princess’ reversed sleep schedule, and he didn’t fancy carrying it around all day just in case. We agreed then that it would be given to Luna at nine o’clock sharp tomorrow.





I headed back to the farm and did one last check with Dad. I ‘called’ the watch using my magic. You needed something to get somepony to open the case, so I’d set up the spell so that it would cause the watch to chime the hour when I wanted to manifest myself in it.

It worked perfectly and I was able to get in touch with Dad. It was a bit of a strange experience. I was sitting in my room with my eyes shut, yet I could see, Dad’s face and a part of his house. Essentially, the watch face became my eyes. So it was as if I was sitting in his hand. The picture quality was hardly HD, but it was clear enough and the sound was clear as a bell. It would be a great surprise for Luna tomorrow.

With my little test concluded, I headed downstairs. Tonight, I was going to cook dinner for everypony. While the Apples’ are staunch traditionalists, I’ve never liked the gender role that mares do the cooking. For Celestia’s sake, Applejack is a better hand on the farm than I am, or even Big Mac. So every now and then, I relieve Granny Smith of her cooking duties and whip up something myself.

Tonight was a vegetarian version of cottage pie, using quorn instead of the beef. It might not be michelin star quality, but it was better than the time I went to a restaurant in York, ordered cottage pie, and found it to be full of lamb. The dosy waiter didn’t seem to understand that that made it shepherd’s pie. Poor sod.

Anyway, my own attempt went down pretty well. I might have slightly overdone grilling the mash, but it didn’t really affect the taste. The quorn, onions, carrots and gravy were all good, and a few peas on the side got you pretty close to your five a day.





The next morning, I was up bright and early as usual. It really has been far too long since I had a proper lie in like I used to. But that’s the price I pay for living and working on a farm. If you ask me though, the rewards far outweigh the costs.

Getting up, I brushed my teeth, sorted out my mane, had a shave (try as I might, I don’t look good with a beard of blue fluff on my snout), and made up my bed. Heading downstairs, I found that everypony except for Apple Bloom was already up and about. Granny Smith had even done breakfast for me.

Taking my usual seat, I chatted with AJ and Big Mac about what we were doing today. We’d spent the last week or so, well, Mac and I had, cutting the grass on some of the fields to start making hay for the winter. I always found that an odd experience. When I was human, my hay fever was always at its worst when the local farms were cutting the grass and doing the hay making (hence the name, I suppose), as it stirred up all the pollen into the atmosphere.

“So me and Mac are on the hay baler then,” I was saying. “How ‘bout you, Applejack? You still working on your pride and joy?”

Applejack was once again planning on entering our produce at the local fair. There was a pretty sizeable cash prize to be won, and given how the vampire fruit bats had cost her her last attempt a couple years back, she was determined to win this time. Her entry had to be one of the largest apples I’ve ever seen, unless you count those dodgy magically modified ones they’ve been working on in Vanhoover. It was actually a little larger than AJ herself.

“Eeyup,” Applejack replied. “It’s almost time to cut it down. Ah reckon that that there prize money is as good as ours this year.”

“Oh fiddlesticks,” Granny Smith replied. “Why, when Ah was just a young whipper snapper, we always used to get a few apples like that. And we didn’t need no modern fangled magically modified crops that run around and eat ponies neither.” We all resisted the urge to burst out laughing.

I’ve tried to reassure her a bunch of times, but Granny Smith is insistent in her belief that using magic to grow crops is evil and will result in terrifying mutant monster plants. Applejack rolled her eyes at her grandmother’s comment, although I know she too doesn’t exactly like the sound of them, although that’s more down to her firm belief that earth pony magic is the best way to grow crops. Me and Mac, not wanting to incur their wrath, just avoid the topic as best we can, along with religion and politics.

Glancing at the clock on the kitchen wall, I realised that Dad would be on the train by now. I decided to do one more test of the watch to make sure the connection was solid. Call it last minute nerves; I wanted my sort of mentor’s gift to be perfect after all.

Finishing my breakfast, I trotted back upstairs to my room, passing a bleary eyed Apple Bloom on the way.

“Come on, AB,” I said encouragingly. “If ya don’t get a move on Big Mac is gonna have all the pancakes again.” That got her into a gallop.

Heading into my room, I sat myself down by the window and looked out toward Canterlot. That glimmering city on the side of a mountain was clearly visible in the clear, early morning sky. Closing my eyes, I concentrated as I activated my magic and set my horn glowing.

It took a few moments, but soon enough, despite my eyes being shut, I found myself looking at the interior of the Friendship Express. A moment later, my Dad’s face appeared.

“Hello there, Bones,” he said, his voice was a little crackly, but no more than you’d expect from a telephone. And of course, the picture was black and white.

“Mornin’, Dad,” I replied. “Ah just wanted to check the connection one last time before you got to Canterlot.”

“Well I can see and hear you just fine,” he said reassuringly. “I’ll get this up to Princess Luna before Tia opens court.” I still can’t believe Celestia lets him call her that. “Just give the watch a call at nine and you should be able to surprise her.”

“Thanks, Dad,” I said. “When ya get back, come by Sweet Apple Acres and Ah’ll give ya some of our reserve cider from last year.”

“Hey, careful with that,” he warned jokingly. “You never know who’s scanning the airwaves.”

With that, he disconnected the call and my vision went black again. Opening my eyes, I found myself still in my room. It was quarter to nine now. Downstairs, I heard the kitchen door go as Apple Bloom left for school. I’d stay up here, give Luna a ring and then head downstairs to make a start on the hay baling with Mac.





Soon enough, the clock in my room struck nine. Dad would now be in court and would have given Luna her present. It would be so nice to see her again. We haven’t really spoken since she found out about FOXDIE several weeks back. I hadn’t run into her in my dreams either as of late. I look up to her in the same way Twilight looks up to Celestia, but is also a dear friend.

Looking up at the great city for a moment, I closed my eyes and once again activated my magic. Effectively, my ‘phone’ was ringing.

Luna didn’t answer right away. In fact, for a moment, I feared she might have put it down somewhere or already have gone to bed. I might have wanted to send her birthday wishes, but i had no desire to interrupt her sleep. For several long moments, my vision remained black. Just as I was about to ring off though, she answered.

My vision cleared, first letting me see the inside of the watch cover, before opening to reveal Luna herself. Her expression was one of curiosity as she peered down at the still chiming watch, her mane still flowing in a non-existent breeze.

“Why in Equestria is this still chiming?” she said to herself as she opened and examined it. I then let myself manifest, and the alicorn let out a squeak of surprise.

“Blade Star?” she exclaimed as she looked at me, or rather, the watch.

“Hello, Luna,” I replied with a smile. “Happy Birthday!”

“What sort of magic is this?” she asked. “How have you put yourself inside this pocket watch?”

“It’s an object possession spell,” I explained. “Twilight used a more complex version of it to talk to Starlight when she last visited you. I modified the spell a little and wove it into your present. We can use it to communicate anywhere, any time.” Luna looked quite impressed.

“A clever design, my little pony,” she said with a smile. “I assume it works both ways?” I nodded.

“Sure. Just give the watch a bit of magic and it should let me know that you want to talk. I can then properly activate the spell.”

“So where are you now then?” she asked.

“In my room on Sweet Apple Acres. Ah was just about to head out to work. And I can see that you’re in the dining hall of the castle.” Luna nodded.

“Yes,” she replied. “Sister and I were just talking with our architects. It is high time the throne room underwent a redesign to reflect my own return. I’ve had to sit on Celestia’s sun themed chair for far too long.” I let out a chuckle.

“Well Ah’m glad to hear that you’re finally gettin’ what you deserve, Princess. Anyway, Ah hope you have a nice birthday today. Ah’ll let ya get to bed.” Luna however, shook her head.

“Nonsense, Blade Star,” she retorted. “It has been far too long since last we spoke. And I am sure dear Applejack can spare you for a little while longer.”





The two of us ended up talking for about half an hour or so. We both caught up on what each other was doing. I told Luna about the various little projects I’d been working on and how things had been going on the farm as we drew on towards autumn, or Fall as ponies insist on calling it. Luna meanwhile, let me into some castle gossip and court intrigue. If you’re not personally involved in it and don’t stand to take a major hit from a scandal, then the politics of Canterlot are like some political comedy. Although at times, Luna can be a real life, equine Frank Underwood. We also talked about how things had been in the dreaming world. She didn’t name names of course, but she did tell me about some of the more interesting dreams she’d come across. I had to laugh when she asked why my little sister was having a nightmare involving a giant marshmallow man.

Before too long though, Luna let out a very un-princess like yawn. It might have been early morning for me, but it was late in the evening for her. She’d been up since five last night. I encouraged her to head off to bed. To be fair, I also needed to get going as well. However, before she closed the watch, she gave me one last piece of information.

“Oh, and Blade Star,” she said, briefly pausing to look around herself for anypony nearby. “I thought you might like to know, I have begun to search for the renegade Chrysalis. My Night Guard are combing all of Equestria for her.” I nodded in understanding.

“Ah’m glad to hear that, Luna. We both know she has to be up to somethin’. A crazy mare like that doesn’t just haul down her colours and roll over. She’ll try somethin’ sooner or later.”

“We shall find her, my friend,” Luna reassured me. “Her army is no more, the changeling race is an ally. She stands alone.”

“She’s still powerful though. Her magic is not too far off an alicorn. And she may be crazy, but she’s not stupid. There’s still so much we don’t know about how changeling magic works. Heck, for all we know she could be making herself a new army.” Luna tried to reassure me.

“Her back is against the wall, Blade Star. She has nowhere to go.” I frowned.

“That’s what worries me, Luna,” I replied. “When Ah was in school studyin’ military history, they told us ‘never back your enemy into a corner’. Then they’ve got nothin’ to lose. Ah’d say that applies to Chrysalis, now that she’s lost her kingdom. She could be capable of anythin’.”

“We shall be on watch for her, my friend,” Luna said, with determination in her voice. “We will find her. Anyway, I shall leave you to your work. Do feel free to call me anytime though.”

“Of course, Luna,” I replied with a slight bow. “Enjoy your gift, and Ah hope ya have a great birthday.”

With that, the alicorn waved goodbye and closed the watch back up. My vision went black, prompting me to open my eyes.





And so, I found myself once again back in my room. Although, technically, I’d never left it. That was the beauty of this form of communication. I could appear somewhere far off, without ever needing to leave Ponyville. I was certainly glad that it had all worked out alright. I made a mental note to thank Dad as well for taking it to her. I chuckled to myself. Perhaps I could take to sending her my own friendship reports every now and then, just like Twilight used to when she was Celestia’s student. Celestia knows I do run into them every now and then. And of course, I could keep her up to date with my other projects if she was interested. I certainly wanted to tell her about my idea of counting off episodes in order to predict the next major threat. But that idea was still not entirely tested.

In any case, a quick glance at the clock told me that I’d been up here chatting quite a bit longer than I intended. A brief five minutes wishing the night princess a happy birthday had turned into a good half hour.

Grabbing my stetson from its hatstand in the corner of my room, I all but galloped down the stairs and rushed out the back door, making for the fields. Poor Big Mac would have been doing the hay baling on his own. Not that he can’t, mind you, but it seemed a bit selfish not to be down there lending a hoof.

I caught up with the red stallion as he was halfway through the first field. He was pulling the mower along behind him, and half of the field had been stripped of its tall grass, replaced by a sea of loose cuttings. A few of the chickens had wandered over from the coop and were happily scratting about in it. Off to the side, the baling machine sat waiting.

“Hey there, Bones,” Mac said as I hurried up, a ghost of a smile on his lips.

“Sorry Ah got held up, Mac,” I apologised as I hooked myself up to the machine. It was sort of like a Mississippi style paddle steamer, with a large wheel at the back that collected the loose cuttings and helped form them into bales, before pushing them out from the back.

“It’s alright,” Mac replied drolly. “Let me get a head start. Now we won’t be nippin’ at each other’s heels.”

I soon set to work, following in the bigger stallion’s wake. Before too long the field was dotted with large, cylindrical bales of hay, and the two of us had a fair chunk of it stuck in our manes. This would help feed the sheep and cattle when the winter wore on. I’d been chatting with Lizzie a while back, and she’d warned me that the plan called for quite a harsh winter this year. So we were taking care to get as much as we could. I was just glad the patrol had given us a good run of hot, clear days. You need the hay to be dry as brush in order to bale it.

When lunch time rolled around, we’d finished the first field. The place was now clear of long grass and looked more like a well manicured lawn, albeit one dotted with pony sized bales at regular intervals. After lunch, Mac and me covered them all up to keep the wild birds off them and began to cart them into the barn.

It was a long, hot day, and I was glad when the sun finally set and the moon rose into the cool evening sky. As everypony else went inside for dinner, I found myself looking up at Equestria’s only satellite.

“Happy birthday, Luna,” I said, smiling up at the glowing orb.

And with that, I went inside.
> Chapter 7 - Lazarus
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

A wise woman once said; ‘Time Travel. Since my first day on the job as a Starfleet captain, I swore I’d never let myself get caught in one of those godforsaken paradoxes. The future is the past, the past is the future; it all gives me a headache’.

Personally, I’m inclined to agree with Kathryn Janeway. Time travel is something used by only geniuses and idiots. One slight misstep and you may find yourself undoing all of reality. I actually almost did at one point. It wasn’t my fault you understand. I’ve no more idea how time travel works than the next stallion. But through circumstances beyond my control, I found myself stuck in the past. Like an idiot, I intentionally caused a paradox by hurling a certain changeling queen off of a balcony before her time. In turn, the timeline that spawned from what should have happened never took place. I consequently never developed such a hatred of the changeling species, and never found myself in the situation in the first place. Thus, as a result, I could never go back in time to set the whole chain of events in motion.

Confused yet? I can tell you I was, and i lived through it! If it hadn’t been for Discord stepping in to help sort out the various timelines' ‘hissy fit’ as he put it, I’m not sure what would have happened.

Now, there is, of course, magic allowing for time travel. It is without a doubt one of the most difficult and dangerous spells in existence. And the risks of misuse are just one of the many reasons Celestia had Starswirl’s spell, which only allowed for a maximum of seven days travel into the past, and only for a few brief moments, banned and locked away in Canterlot’s archives.

Of course, that didn’t stop one very stupid, psychotic, equality obsessed unicorn from stealing it and trying to use it to get revenge on Twilight and nearly destroy the totality of existence. As if the risks of such spells weren’t clear enough.

In any case, it is something well beyond my capabilities. Even Starlight or Twilight would need the actual spell itself to actually achieve it. Heck, I’m not even sure Celestia could do it unaided. Even Discord might be pushing his magic to its most extreme limit. Still, that does not mean it isn’t interesting. As perplexing as the above paradox was, I’d personally love to know what would happen, and if there was a way to avoid it. I’d never even dream of using such a spell, not even in the most dire of circumstances for reasons I’ve already stated. But from a theoretical standpoint, time travel magic is a fascinating subject.

It’s also something that hasn’t really been written about much. Given how restricted the spell is (I only know about it due to my fandom knowledge) there isn’t exactly much in the way of research papers or essays to be found. Even the irrepressible Twilight Sparkle herself has shied away from looking too deeply into it.

So, I had myself a void in the academic world. And by Celestia, voids were meant to be filled! While it was not magic per se, it did represent a great research opportunity. Of course, there was one minor issue; I knew very little about time travel. Okay, I might know a bit more than some, but most of what you just read was drawn from science fiction, not science fact. I have no idea what happens during a paradox, and I certainly don’t fancy running an experiment.

But in Ponyville, there is one pony who might be able to help me out and give me some pointers. The only pony to my knowledge who has two hearts and an IQ well into four figures. The only pony with his own functional time machine. The only pony who could call himself Time Lord. Time Turner, as he calls himself now, while keeping the facade of a clock repair pony, is still that mad, slightly dangerous genius in a blue box and knows more about time travel than anyone.

Well, okay that’s not entirely true. If memory serves actually, he only just graduated from the academy with 51% on his second attempt, and then stole his current time machine from the museum where it was on display. But on the other hoof, all the other being that know anything about time travel either try to kill you, imprison you, or both.

So, with my new research idea in mind, and an alarm clock that needed a spring replacing, I made my way from the farm to Ponyville, and before long, I found myself at Time Turner’s shop.





Trotting up to the store front, I found it pretty quiet. I chuckled to myself as I walked up, I hadn’t been here in an age. In fact, the last time I’d come here, I’d found Time Turner up a corner staring down a Weeping Pegasus; essentially one of those Angel monsters that had somehow followed Time Turner into this world, and consequently been ponified just as he had when he regenerated (apparently, crossing universes is a bit rough). Hopefully I wouldn’t find myself in quite so precarious position as I did on that occasion.

The visit would also give me a chance to look over his TARDIS again. I’m sorry, but I will never get tired of examining her. It is the single most incredible piece of engineering, programing, and something I honestly can’t quite describe, that I’ve ever seen.

But i wasn’t here to see the TARDIS, I was here to see Time Turner. And to be fair, I also did actually need my alarm clock repaired. I don’t know about you, but getting up a half five in the morning isn’t easy without a bit of encouragement.

Pushing open the door, my ears were quickly assaulted by a very loud, and somewhat unpleasant noise. The sound of a TARDIS taking off. Or at least, one trying to take off with the brakes still on; that’s what that noise is you know, she isn’t meant to make such a racket. Why in Equestria would Time Turner be taking off anywhere though? The TARDIS, as far as I was aware, was caught in an atron tractor beam; something to do with how time travel magic and the TARDIS interact. If let go, the poor thing goes careering through time all over the shop.

“Time Turner?” I called out, doing my best to make myself heard over the noise. “Are y’all in here?” There was no reply, aside from the continued sound of the TARDIS’ engines.
I decided that I ought to see what was going on back there, so I trotted through the shop, went around the counter, and soon found myself in the back room of the shop. It was here the TARDIS was parked, if you will. The atron tractor the old Timelord had set up was still holding the TARDIS fast, but at the same time, it’s engines were positively screaming. I guess you could say it was spinning its wheels. The large white light on the roof was steadily illuminating too, but the ancient ship showed no signs of actually dematerialising.

“Time Turner?” I called out again, this time knocking on the front door with a hoof. “What the hay is going on?”

Getting no reply, as as the ship seemed to be going nowhere, I opened the front doors. Outwards i might add. Unlike him, I can actually read what it says on the front; ‘Pull to open’, not push.

To my surprise, on stepping inside, I found the control room entirely deserted. There was no sign of the chestnut coated stallion. Hurrying up the steps, I quickly got over to the eight sided console and began to take a look, to see if i could find who or what was causing the TARDIS to try and get free of its bonds. A mixture of Whovian knowledge from the series and a bit too much free time in my teenage years, means I have a rough idea of how a TARDIS works.

From what I could work out, mainly from the large message on the screen that said ‘Automatic Takeoff Activated’, I figured that nopony was flying the TARDIS. The ship itself had initiated the launch. It does tend to do that from time to time; fly itself I mean. Usually though, it would take Time Turner where he was most needed.

This was different though. It’s hard to describe, but seeing the way the ship was behaving...it was as if it was almost...afraid of something, and trying to get away by any means. Maybe it was something to do with the telepathic link it sets up with guests and its pilot. The best description I can come up with, is that it was like watching a frightened horse, plunging and kicking at something that was scaring it, and threatening to bolt. Not really knowing what else I could, I gave it my best shot.

“Whoa, whoa, steady, girl,” I said in a reassuring voice, running one hoof along the console, like you would a horse’s neck. “Calm down, it’s okay, it’s okay.”

The TARDIS though, kept trying to take off. If it kept up like this for much longer, one of two things would happen; either the atron tractor would fail and the ship would go hurling through time at a furious pace, or the stress of continued take off power would blow out the time rotor, cook the brakes, burn out the atom accelerator and pretty much kill the TARDIS dead, or at least heavily damage it to the point it would be on emergency backup power for a very long time. 

“C’mon, what’s the matter?” I asked the still panicking time machine. “What’s wrong?”

A few moments passed, and I was just about to make a run for the doors, when the engines finally came to a stop. The groaning on the engines straining against the brakes and the atron tractor stopped, and the control room filled with the foul smell of burnt clutch. At last, the TARDIS was quiet. I let out a sigh of relief. And looked up at the time roter.

“Well, there we go,” I said, with no small amount of relief. “That’s better.”

Nearby, the monitor crackled into life again. It took me a few moments to work out what I was looking at. It was the shop’s basement. That was where Time Turner stored all of his little projects that Equestria probably wasn’t ready for. The whole place looked to be in a right mess at the moment. The lights occasionally flickered and all his equipment was strewn about. In the back, I saw one of those flameless fireworks of his go off.

Time Turner himself was standing in the middle of the room, looking none the worse for wear. Opposite him was Derpy, our local mailmare, brony fandom mascot, and mother of Dinky, Time Turner’s biological daughter. The two of them seemed to be pretty much rooted to the spot, their gazes fixed on the one thing that stood out in the room; it’s third occupant.

It was a pegasus, a stallion by the look of it, with a dark blue coat and a light blue mane. He was sprawled out on the floor between the two of them. Oddly, he had quite a few clothes on. The picture on the monitor wasn’t great, but I could make out a large, dark blue trench coat. He was clearly in a bad way, unconscious at the very least. Derpy looked shocked by what she was seeing, Time Turner on the other hoof, just seemed...surprised.

Well, at least I knew roughly what was going on now. The TARDIS was no longer trying to rip itself in half, and I’d found Time Turner. Although I must admit, any questions about time travel or magic had gone completely out of my head.

Trotting back down the steps to the doors, I quickly walked back out into the shop and made my way downstairs to the basement.





Hurrying down the hallway, I quickly found myself at the door to the basement. Flinging it open, I quickly caught the attention of both Time Turner and Derpy. The latter let out a shrill scream of fright at my sudden arrival.

“Who’s that?!” Time Turner barke,d putting himself between me and Derpy.

“It’s Bones, Time Turner,” I called back from the top of the stairs as I trotted down. “Ah came by to see if ya could fix an alarm clock for me. But Ah see y’all have bigger problems right now.” I gestured to the unconscious pony.

“It’s not what it looks like!” Derpy wailed in fear. “We didn’t do anything to him; he just appeared out of nowhere!” I got to the bottom of the stairs and walked over to the pair.

“Look, just tell me what’s been goin’ on,” I said firmly, I turned to Time Turner. “Doc, the TARDIS was going crazy upstairs just now, tryin’ to take off or somethin’.” Time Turner ran a hoof through his mane and grimaced.

“Yeah, I don’t blame her for that,” he said, not look at me. “To be honest I’m not feeling so good myself. I’ve got this splitting headache.” He paused to rub his temples.

“How did this all happen?” I asked.

“I was tinkering with that rift you and your friends found in the Everfree Forest,” he explained. “The TARDIS was a bit low on fuel, so I thought the energy might top her up. I’m halfway through the process, when all of a sudden, there’s a great big bang, and then low and behold this poor chap’s here.”

My attention now shifted to the unconscious stallion. I’d got some basic first aid from St. John’s Ambulance, so I went over to check on him. It also gave me a chance to get a better look at him.

As I said before, he was a pegasus, with a dark blue coat and a light blue mane. He wore a long trench coat that presently obscured his cutie mark. He also had on a light blue shirt and dark grey waistcoat. On his right foreleg, there was some kind of leather band, not something you see much of in Equestria, with some kind of device fixed into it. Whatever it was had burnt out. I remembered when the rift had last opened, and supposedly been sealed, it had had a destructive effect on electronics.

I checked for vitals. With hooves, you can’t really check for a pulse, so I went for the next best thing. Putting my cheek near his mouth, I tried to feel his breath. There was none. His body was completely still. I opened one of his eyes just to be sure, the pupils were non reactive.

“He’s dead,” I said quietly. Derpy started to cry again. I turned to Time Turner. “Ya got any idea where he came from?” He shook his head.

“Only that it was from the other side of that rift.”

“So what, you think he’s human?” I asked. Time Turner nodded.

“Maybe. Could be anything. But he’s certainly a pony now. Even his clothes have changed to fit in with the world.” Ah yes, that would explain the lack of trousers or shoes. Time Turner stepped away again, putting a hoof to his head.

“You okay, Doc?” I asked. He snarled.

“Not really,” he replied, scrunching his eyes shut. “My TARDIS is going nuts trying to take off, I’ve got a dead pony in my lab, and this headache is just making things worse.”

I tried to think what to do. We’d have to tell the authorities. And there would no doubt be an investigation. An idea came to mind.

“Well,” I said, walking over to the body. “The least we can do is try and find out who this guy is.”

Reaching inside the trenchcoat, I began to look for a wallet. Not a nice job, but like I said, whoever this pony was, he at least deserved to have his name on his headstone.

To my surprise though, my hoof made contact with something metal. Withdrawing the object, I let out a low whistle.

“Hey, look at this. An old Webley.”

It was a British Army service revolver, with six bullets still loaded. This guy definitely wasn’t from around these parts. Still, between the old gun and old clothes, I’m not even sure this pony was from our time. Heck, looking closer, the trench coat looked to be part of an RAF uniform, a captain too if I remember my rank insignias. Best guess, somewhere in the 1940’s, during the last war.

Hang on a minute…

Oh no...you've got to be kidding me.

Derpy trotted over to join me. I was most sorry for her. The poor mare was petrified by all this. She’d stopped crying now.

“I just can’t believe all this happened,” she said softly. “The Doc was just trying to learn a bit more about the thing that brought you here.” I put a leg around her comfortingly, my worried thoughts briefly forgotten.

“It’s not your fault, Derpy,” I said kindly.

As we were talking, Time Turner stepped away, his headache seemingly getting much more acute. Derpy meanwhile leaned down toward the dead stallion.

“I’m sorry,” she said, barely audibly.

And with that, we got the shock of our lives.

Out of nowhere, the previously dead stallion suddenly took a very deep breath, like he’d just come up from underwater. The both of us, pegasus and unicorn, leapt a foot in the air. Derpy screamed in fright. His eyes shot open and he began to taken ragged breaths again. A moment later, we both recovered from the shock and Derpy took a hold of him.

“It’s okay, it’s okay, you’re alright now,” she said, probably not believing her own eyes. The stallion looked at her with deep blue eyes and smiled. And then proceeded to confirm my worst fears.

“Captain Jack Harkness,” he introduced himself as he struggled to get his breath. “And you are?” Derpy, predictably, swooned.

“I’m...I’m Derpy Hooves,” she said, blushing. He smiled at her.

“Well nice to meet you, Ms. Hooves.”

“Oh don't start!” I exclaimed in annoyance. He now turned to me as he sat up. The bastard flashed me a winning smile.

“Woah, easy, Johnny Reb. I was only saying hello.”

“Yeah, hello is all it takes with you,” I shot back. Time Turner now returned, his headache temporarily forgotten (although given that this bisexual time travelling muppet, and fixed point in space/time, was the cause of it, I’m sure it would come back soon). His eyes went wide as he came to the same conclusion.

“Jack?”

“Doc?” There was a moment of silence between the two. “What’s with the horse gettup? I’ve seen you with new faces, but I always thought you prefered two feet, not four hooves.” The old Timelord smiled.

“I could say the same for you,” he replied, walking over to him with a smile and helping him up. “Although I suppose in your case you didn’t have much of a say about it.”

The ex-Time Agent now looked down at himself and noticed for the first time, his new appearance. Like most people in such a situation, he was quite surprised.

“Whoa! Okay, that’s not what I remember going to bed with!” he said, looking down at itself. Time Turner shrugged.

“Well, falling through a rift into another universe does tend to do funny things to the body. Best guess is that vortex manipulator of yours reacted with the rift and activated its own version of a chameleon arch.”

Jack wasn’t really bothered with the scientific explanation though. He was much more curious about his new form and was turning around on the spot in effort to get a better look at himself. Derpy certainly didn’t seem to mind, I’ll say that much.

“How in the name of Celestia has he ended up here though?” I asked, putting the brakes on the pair’s reunion. “We sealed the rift years ago!"

"Very true," Time Turner agreed. "So I'd say he didn't come through the rift. at least, not that one." He seemed to come to something of a realisation." Ah, I may have dented the fabric of reality a bit."

Hell's Bells! This is why you don't let the Doctor experiment with things. It either explodes, summons unspeakable horrors or both! Derpy though was less interested in the untold risk to reality as we know it, and more curious about the dashing and handsome stallion standing before her.

“But who is he?” Derpy asked curiously as she continued to look on. “Is he a friend of yours, Doc?”

“Oh, we’re old friends,” Time Turner replied. “Haven’t seen each other for years though, have we?” Jack smiled.

“It’s good to see you again, Doc.” They both smiled.

“But he was dead,” Derpy insisted. “Blade Star, you said he was completely dead.” I nodded.

“He was. Only he has this annoying tendency of coming back. Like a bad penny.”

“You know,” Jack spoke up. “Most people only dislike me this much after having met me. You’ve been at me since I woke up here.” Time Turner was kind enough to explain the odd little link between our worlds. I certainly didn’t feel like giving yet another explanation.

“Ah know quite a bit about ya, Captain,” I said. “Includin’ the fact that that rank ain’t yours. Ya never served in an Eagle Squadron, your name ain’t Jack Harkness, and ya used to work with the most dangerous, unpredictable organisation on Earth!”

“True, true, true, and sort of true,” he replied, with a roguish smile. I scowled back at him.

“Alright, why don’t we stop riling each other up,” Time Turner said, stepping between the two of us. “We need to figure out what to do about all this.”

“Ah’d say shoot him, but that’s only a temporary solution,” I said snarkily.





Of course, I didn’t shoot him. Jack Harkness may be the single most annoying 51st century human I’ve ever come across, but he’s also up there on my list of people not to tick off. We did on the other hoof, go and tell Twilight what had happened, who in turn to told Celestia and Luna. The former of the sisters came down to Ponyville that evening. Time Turner explained who Jack was, how he’d been a friend and ally for several years. Jack then went on to introduce himself, blatantly flirt with Celestia, and explained his part in running Torchwood. That seemed to intrigue the princess

Equestria has faced many threats through the years. While none of them are truly alien, they are often alien to Equestria, coming from other lands, times and places. If we’d known about things like the cutie mark vault, the memory stone, or how the Element of Magic could be corrupted, we’d be better able to prepare for them, rather than just throwing Twilight and the others at them and hoping for the best.

That was precisely what Jack suggested. Working with Time Turner, he proposed to let up a sort of listening post in the Everfree. It would give us an opportunity to monitor any other odd magic or anomalies, as well as deal with anything that appeared because of them. I know for a fact that when the rift opened last time, when it was sealed up, a few things came through that were dangerous; things that ponies wouldn’t understand. In many ways, it was a lot like my own research into dark magic. If you can understand your enemy, you can more easily defeat them. It would be a sort of research site for dangerous artifacts, both magical and otherwise.

Celestia was more than happy to endorse this little project, putting Twilight in charge to oversee the work. Although she did tell Time Turner to stop messing around with rifts and other forms of mirror portal magic. The plan they eventually came up with was to refurbish a part of the old castle, hidden away of course, giving Jack and his team (a bunch of eggheads hoofpicked by the princesses) a place to stay, work, research and store anything they were working on. Paid a handsome stipend, Jack readily agreed to the proposal, seeing it as a major step up from his previous employers.

Of course, ever cautious, Celestia wasn’t entirely trustful of the former Time Agent. His burnt out vortex manipulator was confiscated and given to Time Turner for safe keeping. The princess also warned him, in no uncertain terms, that is anything he did brought harm to her little ponies, she would deal with him herself; one immortal to another. He was to stay in the Everfree unless told otherwise, or circumstances forced him to leave to protect Equestria.

I wasn’t entirely sure what to make of it. I didn’t really have much say in the decision. I am just a farmer after all. In the grand scheme of things, I’m just another background pony. Still, it was somewhat reassuring to know that there was somepony keeping an eye on the peculiar phenomenon that had brought me and my family here. There was however, one small issue.

“What do ya mean Ah can’t tell anypony?” I exclaimed, looking incredulously at Twilight. The alicorn was walking alongside me, heading up to the castle.

“I mean that this whole thing has to stay a secret, Blade Star,” she replied. “You heard what Celestia said. This whole project is to be kept top secret. Nopony can know about it, for their own safety.”

I sighed, remembering the time Dad had jokingly told me he had a bunch of secrets in his head from working in Canterlot that he’d probably never get to tell.

“Fina, Ah’ll keep quiet. Pinkie Promise.” I did the required motions, avoiding poking myself in the eye.

That would be the last I’d hear from Jack Harkness for quite some time.





The next time I saw anything relating to the the ex-Time Agent, Torchwood, or that blasted rift, was about three months later.

It was evening, and I was working on my own repairing the Cutie Mark Crusaders’ clubhouse. We’d recently had a big storm that had gotten out of hoof, at least, that was the story Dash was sticking to at the moment. The windows had all been smashed in by flying branches and debris. So, as I’m always trying to improve my skills, I’d borrowed Applejack’s toolkit  and had set to work replacing the windows and fixing some minor damage to the roof.

I was presently perched on top of the clubhouse, replacing the weather vane, which had burst free from its mounting and landed on the ground below. I was just finishing getting it back into place where I saw the damndest thing.

There was a helicopter, flying pretty low, pretty much on the tree tops. These things are a rare sight in Equestria. The only real form of flight outside of pegasi is an airship. Aeroplanes as we’d recognise them don’t really exist. Helicopters on the other hoof do, although they’re few and far between. To my knowledge, there’s only one registered in Ponyville, excluding Tank of course.

This looked to be it slowly making its way over the trees. But instead of a pony at the controls it was...well, i’m not sure what it was. It had the body of a pony, but it’s head was...kind of like a blowfish, covered in spines, and with no ears or fur. The odd creature looked down at me impassionately as it flew by, leaving me very confused.

A few moments after this strange apparition passed me by. I heard the sound of a lot of hooves coming up the track. A few moments later, I found Jack, and a few of what I assume to be his colleagues, standing at the foot of the clubhouse.

“Hey there, Bones,” he called up, evidently having picked up on my nickname at some point.

“Captain,” I replied, touching the brim of my hat.

“You er…” He grinned at what he was about to say. “You haven’t seen a sort of blowfish pony flying a helicopter, have you?” I resisted the urge to roll my eyes and pointed towards town.

“Just flew by, headin’ that way,” I replied.

The captain waved in thanks before galloping off with his compatriots following close behind him. I sat down on the roof and looked over to the west toward the setting sun. Letting out a sigh, I shook my head.

“Bloody Torchwood,” I muttered to myself.
> Chapter 8 - A World of Pure Imagination
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I blinked a couple of times as the wind caught me in the eyes. It was a hot day, the sun above me beating down incessantly. The book in my hooves was warm to the touch, as was the soft sand beneath them. The few trees nearby gave me some shade from the harshest glare, but other than that, I was quite exposed on the rocky crevice on which I sat, looking out into the valley far below.

Sound familiar? I thought not. This wasn’t Sweet Apple Acres, it wasn’t Ponyville, it wasn’t Appleloosa, or even the Badlands. I was currently looking out over the Wadi Rum, a vast protected desert area in southern Jordan. From here, I could see Palestine, all the way across to Saudi Arabia, and north to Syria. I was lying down on all fours reading T.E Lawrence’s ‘The Seven Pillars of Wisdom’; a book everyone should read at some point in their lives. I was dressed in Bedouin garb to keep the sun off, with a red and white chequered shemagh, a sort of head scarf, wrapped around my face, with only my horn and eyes exposed.

Now, how was I here? Had Time Turner or those lunatics at Torchwood stabilised the rift and got us all home? Was I dead and in the afterlife? Or had I gone mad and lost touch with reality? Actually, it was nothing so grandiose; I was presently projecting an illusion with my magic.

It’s one of my favourite spells, and actually quite a complex one too. It actually does push my limits from time to time. The spell forms a small sphere around me, somewhat like a shield spell. But unlike a shield, it acts as a sort of canvas, allowing me to project my mind’s eye onto it. Within reason, I can go anywhere I want to, without ever taking a step. I often find myself using this spell whenever I have some free time to myself. It lets me remember Earth, keep the memories alive. An Equestrian I may be, but I’d rather I not wake up one day and find I can’t remember too much about my old home. You’d be surprised how much you forget when you’re completely cut off.

The great thing was how much detail I could create. If I ask you to remember a place, a person’s face, or even something as simple as a pen, you might recall some of it, but unless you’re a savant, you’d be hard pressed to get a perfect image in your mind. Thing is though, we do have that image, only we can’t access it under normal circumstances. The illusion spell overcomes this little niggle. So any place I’ve seen, at least that memory of it, can be recreated perfectly. It is almost like you’re actually there. It isn’t just an image either, there’s scent, sound, touch; all the senses are tied into the spell. Sometimes I almost forget that I’m just in a bubble.

Of course, there is one drawback; people. I can create the most perfect landscapes, with weather, sunrises and sunsets, stars, clouds, everything. But I can’t add in living things. People and animals are a lot more tricky to create than an image of a place. So the big drawback is that there’s no one to talk to, or even any animals. The best I can do is put in the soundtrack of such things. Say I create New York, as seen from the top of the Empire State Building. There’ll be no people, but I can add in moving lights to represent cars, and the sound of engines, horns, and people. It’s a halfway decent compromise.

And of course, you can’t really move around too much. I tried it once, and found my illusion of Paradise Falls interrupted by an apple tree bursting into the frame. So most of the time, I just sit down and relax in the environment I create. At least everything is tangible though. I can even ‘eat’ the fruits of a tree. Albeit it won’t do much good for my stomach.

Yes, there may be some faults, but it was good enough for me. I’m sure Twilight or the princesses could create a huge projection with ponies, animals, and even hold conversations with them. But I left Earth several years after the advent of HD, 3D and Smart TVs, and I was still quite happy with my old vacuum tube system even then. So I have no problem with my ‘limited’ ability.

I turned my attention back to the book I was reading. I was currently reading about the successful capture of Aqaba from it’s Turkish occupiers. And all achieved with the loss of only one camel (Lawrence, in his excitement, accidently shot his own mount, a racing camel and gift from Fiesal, through the head as he drew his revolver). I was about to continue on, when I was startled by the arrival of a certain filly.

“Hey there, Bones,” said Apple Bloom, startling me out of my thoughts. The problem with these spheres; ponies can just waltz right on in. And from their perspective, I’m just sitting down with the air slightly shimmering around me.

“Apple Bloom!” I exclaimed, a little crossly. “What did Ah tell ya ‘bout sneakin’ up on ponies like that.” The little filly deflated and pawed at the ground with a hoof.

“To not to,” she replied, now sounding glum and not looking at me. She’s lucky I’m a big softie. I smiled.

“Ah’m sorry, AB,” I said, more kindly. “C’mon, sit yourself down and talk for a bit.”

She sat herself down next to me, her sharp eyes quickly spotting the book that I’d been reading. Of course, she couldn’t read it that well, given how Equestrian and English have different alphabets. Although to be fair, you can often work out the gist; they can be quite similar at times.

“So what have y’all been up to, little lady?” I asked as she settled herself. Apple Bloom looked up and me and grinned, her pink bow bobbing slightly in the desert breeze.

“Me and the Crusaders were playin’ with Dinky,” she replied. “We’re tryin’ to help her find her cutie mark. How ‘bout you, Bones? What is all this? And what are you wearin’?” She gestured to both the scene and my odd gettup.

“It’s an illusion spell, AB,” I explained. “Ah can use my magic to visit any place Ah can remember seein’. This is a place Ah went on vacation with my folks back on Earth.” The young filly looked around at the vast landscape.

“It’s beautiful,” she said after a moment. “Like Saddle Arabia. Miss Cheerilee showed us pictures in class last week.”

Well, good to see that the filly was growing up cultured. Ponies could be remarkably closed minded at times. After all, most maps of Equestria seem to just stop once you pass the Badlands. And there’s no way there isn’t something further south. But it’s all restricted. Not even weather pegasi or the Royal Guard fly that far south. That would come to bite us on the rump a few months later.

“Want me to show you some other places?” I offered.

I love spending time with Apple Bloom. As a rule, I don’t get on with kids too well. Most of the time, I’m too serious, or boring depending on who you talk to. I just don’t click with them that well. But I get along with Apple Bloom, and the other Crusaders too. Applejack has said that sometimes I act like a father around her. Mum’s said the same thing too. I’ve no intention of treading on Bright Mac’s horseshoes, and Big Mac does a pretty good job already. But I do find myself caring for her more than I would others. Heck, the last thing I said to Tirek before he took my magic was that if he laid a hair on Apple Bloom, I’d take a large pair of steel pliers and...do something deeply unpleasant and painful to his lower orders.

Anyway, Apple Bloom certainly seemed interested in going exploring and nodded excitedly. So I picked up my book and brought my magic back into play. Maintaining the illusion isn’t difficult; like tickover in a car’s engine. Creating or changing the illusion does take a bit of work though.

Letting the illusion cease, we found ourselves back on Sweet Apple Acres. Now came the difficult question.

“So, where would ya like to go first?”





So, you’re presented with the opportunity to go pretty much anywhere, any when. All you have to do is pick one. I think that would take me at least a few hours. I might even make a flowchart. When I first mastered this spell, I went to a hundred different places every day. I actually ended up getting just a little bit addicted to it.

My first choice was my old home, back in the Midlands, before my family moved out to Wales. I have been back there every now and then, but as the old saying goes ‘you can’t go home again’. The home I remembered had quickly changed and now existed only in memory. So, for the first time in just under twenty years, I was able to go home; my old house, my old room, school, the high street, the Corner House cafe, the chip shop, the post office, the common; I went gallivanting all over the West Midlands of the late 90’s.

Conversely, my favourite place is the old Golden Oaks library. For the longest time, my project was to try and restore that old place to its former glory, undo the damage one deeply ignorant centaur caused. But that was not to be, and so it too, now only exists in memory. I spend a few hours there whenever I can, reading up on my magic theory, researching, or just enjoying a good book.

But enough about me being a sentimental old sod, let’s turn our attention back to young Apple Bloom. Just as it was for me, the filly was deep in thought. She had hundreds, if not thousands of choices to sift through. Still, she managed to reach a decision far quicker than I had. Not having my wistful and nostalgic mindset, she picked the first place that came to mind.

“Oooh, how about Manehattan, Bones?” she suggested eagerly. The little filly has heard plenty of tales about the city from her big sister. I think she’d like to visit someday, although her home would always be on the farm of you ask me.

“Alright,” I said, smiling down at her. “Manehattan it is.”

I powered up my magic and concentrated on the image I wanted to create. I decided to set up a view from atop the pony version of the Statue of Liberty. I’m actually not sure what the version in Manehattan is called. I must look that up later or it’s going to be nagging at me all day.

Sweet Apple Acres disappeared from sight, and for a moment, we were surrounded by a white void as the spell formed up. It was actually a little like being in a dream with Princess Luna.

A moment later and the projection kicked in. The sky above turned into latticed metal frames and rivetts. The grass changed to the feeling of steel, which was quite cold to the touch and prompted the two of us to stand up on our hooves. And in front of us was one of the best sights on the eastern coast. We were looking out of the crown of the statue. From this high up, you could see across the harbour, see the main bridge connecting the city to the mainland (Manehattan itself is actually an island you know) and ahead of us was the sprawling city itself. With its skyscrapers and shining lights.

I could see easily enough through the many openings in the crown, but Apple Bloom was a touch too short. So i let her climb up on my back to get a better view. She let out a gasp at the sight.

“You’re impressed than, Ah take it?” I said with the ghost of a smile. Apple Bloom was rendered speechless. So I decided to point out a few features of interest.

“See that patch of green down there?” I said, pointing out with a hoof. “That’s Manehattan Park. And just over there is Broadway, where all the theatres are. And if you squint, ya might just be able to make out Rarity 4 U.”

“This is amazin’, Bones,” Apple Bloom said, still perched on my back. “It’s just like real life. Ah can even feel the wind and smell things.” Amusingly, she wrinkled her nose at that. Still, if you ask me, Manehattan smells a damn sight better than New York.

The two of us stayed there for a little while. I even managed to conjure up a few ships in the harbour, and the odd airship in the sky. Apple Bloom doesn’t often get to go anywhere outside of Ponyville, so it made for a nice change of pace for her, and like I said before, it was good for her to see the world beyond Ponyville.

We stayed up there for a good quarter of an hour before, once again, we were interrupted. Apple Bloom found herself on the receiving end this time. You don’t actually hear anything when somepony enters the projection, although they do create a visual distortion. But if you enter directly behind somepony, you’re not going to notice them.

Unless of course, it’s the other two members of the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo both came trotting into this little slice of Manehattan and quickly made themselves known, startling the hell out of both me and Apple Bloom. After we both sufficiently recovered from our fright, I let Apple Bloom down off my back.

“What brings y’all here?” Apple Bloom asked her friends curiously, tilting her head in that adorable way.

“Well, you weren’t at the clubhouse,” Sweetie Belle explained. “So we thought we’d come looking for you.”

“We’ve got a new cutie mark case to crack,” Scootaloo added, her wings buzzing in excitement. Apple Bloom’s ears wilted at the news. I know she enjoys her new vocation, it is her special talent after all. But she had been rather enjoying our little outing. I decided to lend a hoof.

“C’mon guys,” I said kindly to the pair. “It’s already, what, almost supper time. Ah reckon there ain’t much sense in startin’ your investigations this late. Why don’t ya join me and AB for a bit?”

Apple Bloom quickly explained to them the spell that I’d been using. The two fillies eagerly jumped at the idea. And it wasn’t long before they were shouting out suggestions over each other, Apple Bloom included.

Sitting down, I let Apple Bloom jump off me and held up my hooves in an attempt to call for silence.

“Alright, alright, one at a time!” I shouted over the din. “Apple Bloom, you had your turn going to Manehattan. Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo should get a go.”

Concentrating for a moment, I created a single bit coin and took it in my hoof. Even in Equestria, a coin toss was a well recognised way of settling disputes between warring parties.

“Call it you two,” I said.

“Heads!” Sweetie Belle chirped.

“Tails!” added Scootaloo.

I flicked the coin up in the air and watched it land on the steel floor at my hooves. I saw the face of Princess Celestia, smiling maternally up at me.

“Heads it is,” I declared. “Where do ya wanna go, Sweetie Belle?”





That pretty much set the tone for the rest of the afternoon. I first took them all, as per Sweetie Belle’s request, to Vanhoover. Then, when Scootaloo’s turn came, we went sightseeing around Luna Bay. After that, I decided to get a bit historical again, and took them up into the Hindenburg, as it made its way across the Atlantic. Naturally, we all jumped ship before we reached New Jersey.

The Crusaders quickly got interested in extra-Equestrian destinations. So I took charge for a little while. I showed them London, Paris, Moscow, Bulawayo, Hong Kong, Sydney, Rome in the days of its empire, and Egypt when the pyramids were first being built. I took them on board the Titanic, the Orient Express, I even took them up to the International Space Station and let them look down on Earth below, pointing out the continents, and the foggy little island I once called home. I even took them up to the Moon, to the old Apollo 11 landing site. The three of them had great fun on the abandoned moon buggy. And I have to admit, I shed a little tear as Scootaloo got to ‘fly’ thanks to the lower gravity.

We spent hours going all over the world, without ever leaving that peaceful orchard on Sweet Apple Acres. The company certainly improved the experience. Don’t get me wrong, I do use this spell sometimes to brood, when I want to be on my own. But it was also great fun to have the three fillies along, and even more so with the opportunity to show and teach them about Earth.

It was about half past seven when our little excursion finally came to an end. We’d just finished touring the Alamo, and I let the illusion slowly fade, to be replaced by the familiar trees and barns of my farm home.

“Well, there we go,” I said, pushing my hat back on my head a little. “Ah reckon that’s enough explorin’ for one day, you three.” Sweetie Belle nodded.

“Yeah, we’ve got a new case to work on tomorrow,” she reminded us.

“And it’s a doozy too,” Scootaloo added.

“Who is it anyway?” I asked, a moment later adding. “If it’s alright for me to ask.”

“Dinky Hooves,” Sweetie Belle replied. “She’s been trying to find her cutie mark for months now with Time Turner’s help. But she hasn’t been having much luck.”

“What’s givin’ her a hard time?” Apple Bloom asked.

“We’re not sure,” Scootaloo replied. “She thinks her special talent might have something to do with time. But she’s not sure how to find out.”

“She keeps saying how Time Turner told her she needs to go to the academy or something.”

That caused me to prick up my ears and pay attention. It was true, I suppose. Dinky was a pony/Timelord hybrid, with two hearts and an incredible intelligence. But she only had her teachers and Time Turner to help her learn.

If I remember my Whoverse correctly, children fit to be Timelords were taken from their families at the age of eight, and sent off to the academy. It was there that they were shown the Untempered Schism; a gap in space/time letting you see the vortex with your own eyes. If you ask me, that was where their curriculum went wrong. Few adults can stare at that thing, never mind a child. You can see why more than a few went mad as march hares.

She’d never be able to go to the academy of course. We’re in the wrong universe for starters. Plus, I’m not sure I’d really be comfortable with the idea. Like I said, look what happened to the Master, or the Doctor for that matter. Neither of them were right in the head. I’d hate to see little Dinky Hooves go bananas and end up a target of the Elements.

Still, it did give me an idea.

“AB,” I said, getting the attention of all three fillies. “How ‘bout you bring Dinky down here tomorrow, after you’ve had a go at helpin’ her out? Ah reckon Ah might be able to show her somethin’ to help her.”

The Crusaders quickly pressed me for questions, but I decided to remain cryptic. It’s not often I get to be all mysterious and clever, so I was rather determined to milk this opportunity for all it’s worth. In any case, the Crusaders agreed to bring their newest client tomorrow afternoon. It would certainly be an interesting way to spend a Sunday afternoon.

With that, the three fillies left on their merry way again. Apple Bloom headed back to the farmhouse to help Granny Smith with dinner, Sweetie Belle headed back to Carousel Boutique for the evening, and Scootaloo, after briefly stopping by the clubhouse to pick up her scooter, headed back to her home to see her aunts.





I spent the majority of Sunday visiting my parents house. With my job on the farm, Dad’s position as legal advisor for Celestia’s court, and Mum employed full time again at the school, we rarely have time to chat together. So whenever I can, I do my best to stop by and say hello, have a cup of rosie lee, and catch up with.

I found the two of them at home, as you’d expect. Mum was busy doing the ironing when I arrived, and Dad was working on some case notes for next week. It was actually a little strange, walking in and not suddenly being accosted by Charlie. But their changeling disguised as a pet dog was long gone. The three of them had sat down, talked and come to a decision. It wasn’t fair that he should still have to hide as he was. So they allowed him to go back home with Thorax and the others after the peace agreement was signed.

They both seemed a little sad for his absence though. Luckily, I’d brought Winona with me. They’d been this way the last time I’d seen them, so I thought the collie might lift their spirits a little. What is it you sometimes hear about, therapy dogs?

We all ended up going out to the park for the morning, playing fetch with Winona and enjoying lunch on the grass by the lake. It’s always nice to do something like that; it reminds me of my childhood, and I do find myself missing those summer days on Pelsall common.

I had meant to check in on Lizzie and Fluttershy as well. But time somewhat got away from us, and before I knew it, it was time to head back to the farm. The Crusaders would be bringing Dinky with them, and I had quite the show to offer her. And this evening, I was planning on surprising AJ by cooking dinner for the lot of us.

So, leaving Mum and Dad to their afternoon, Winona and I headed back toward the farm, the collie bounding around me excitedly, snapping at a few bugs that strayed through the air. Winona may be a good working dog, and great for helping herd sheep and cattle, but by Celestia she can be a nutter at times.

More to the point, it’s my turn to give her a bath on Tuesday. All I say on that front is thank goodness for my magic. Otherwise I’d never catch her.





Walking along the dirt paths through the seemingly endless rows of apple trees, I watched as the fading light turned the sky a mixture of reds, purple, and blue. Sunsets on the farm were always beautiful. Even on a cloudy evening, the sky would light up and glow as the sun slipped below the horizon. It certainly helped get the right images into my head.

Stepping off the path, I threaded my way along a well known route, which ultimately led me to one of the most isolated spots on the entire farm. It was here, I found the Crusaders’ clubhouse, actually, Applejack’s old treehouse from when she was a filly, but now restored and repurposed.

Listening, I could hear three...no, four fillies chattering away inside. Walking to the foot of the small ramp that led to the entrance, I called up.

“Crusaders? Y’all ready in there?” I asked. My question quickly caused the chattering to cease, and a moment later, four little fillies came bounding out.

I was quickly overrun.

Apple Bloom ploughed straight into my chest, while Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle each latched onto a foreleg and hugged. Only little Dinky gave me some space.

“Bones!” Apple Bloom exclaimed happily. “We were just tellin’ Dinky about your plan.” I quirked an eyebrow at that.

“Oh were you now?” I asked knowingly. Activating my magic, I levitated the three fillies off me and set them down with their companion.

“Well,” I said, as I dusted myself off. “Ah suppose we ought to make a start then.”

I led the four of them to a spot of open ground near the clubhouse. Like I said before, while I can create an illusion, the boundary of the world isn’t solid. If there’s anything nearby, it can end up phasing into the illusion. And the last thing I wanted was for Dinky’s experience to be ruined by an out of place apple tree.

I sat myself down on the grass like a dog, with the four fillies gathering around me. A quick blast of my horn formed the spell around us. I made it a little larger than usual, so it wouldn’t be too cramped and the foals could explore a bit. But I held off on actually creating the illusion for a moment.

“Now, Dinky,” I said, turning my attention to the young Timelord. “AB tells me you’ve been spendin’ a lot of your days with Time Turner.” The filly nodded.

“He’s been showing me around the TARDIS mainly,” she explained. “I even helped him realign the blue flight stabilisers.”

Oh, at last, he remembered about those, I thought to myself.

“Well then,” I said. “Ah’m sure you know that Time Turner’s been to lots of other planets.” Again, she nodded. “How ‘bout Ah show you Time Turner’s favourite planet in the whole universe?”

Dinky’s eyes lit up at that. And just so you know, I wasn’t talking about Earth. Smiling at her reaction, I lit up my horn and began to form the world around us.

It’s funny you know, I formed that illusion, and yet I still find it difficult to describe.

I suppose I should start with the first thing I saw as the illusion formed and took shape. It was the sky...that incredible, burnt orange sky, made up of thousands of shades of gold, amber and crimson. The wisp like clouds hung high, doing little to block out the rising of the second sun in the south.

The star peaked slowly over the beautiful snow capped mountain ranges...making them seem to glitter in its light. And the trees...the leaves were silver, and only intensified the effect. It was like the Northern Lights, or the magic of the Crystal Heart. The twin suns refracted through them, splitting the spectrum into a shimmering rainbow, and reflecting the sky above. For a moment, the strange trees looked to be ablaze with brilliant light.

Beneath our hooves, was the soft, ruby red grass, flowing in an alien meadow as far as the eye could see...just rolling plains of a dull red reflected in the sunshine, waving slowly in the warm breeze of the morning.

Off to one side, not too far from the forest, you could see the shores of a lake. The water was a light brown colour, but still quite clean, the colour came naturally, not as the result of pollution. It was amazing how such a lush world could at the same time appear so barren.

I hadn’t felt so in awe of something for a long time. Perhaps when I saw Luna raise the moon firsthoof. That might have come close. I had that same feeling of peace and serenity. It had the same effect on the Crusaders and Dinky. They were all rendered speechless by the sight.

Gallifrey in the early morning.

“It’s...it’s incredible,” Dinky whispered. “But it feels...sort of...familiar.” I smiled sadly.

That was her hybrid nature talking. She had the memories of her father. She could fly a TARDIS, perform impossible calculations, and even came close to understanding the magic of harmony itself. But she was also burdened by memories of a world she would never see.

I mulled it over for a few moments. Was it really my place to tell her? She knew what Time Turner was, but she didn’t know who. Could I tell her about her paternal home? Was it my place? I’d suggested she come along because it was an amazing sight, and in a way connected to her. But now that she ‘remembered’ in a way, did I go on?

No, I shouldn’t. Time Turner wanted to keep his relationship to Dinky a secret, and I Pinkie Promised. Besides, what could I tell her, that the odd stallion who help her learn about science was actually her father, and the last surviving member of his race, and that he was responsible for their destruction?

“That’s called deja vu, Dinky,” I said quietly.

“I’d love to come back here tomorrow.”

Ah, here was an opportunity to do a nice thing for her.

“If ya like, Ah can teach ya the spell. All ya have to do is remember, and you can come back here. Shoot, y’all are probably better at it than me.”

Dinky smiled up at me.





I ended up widening the spell to as far as I could, so that Dinky and the Crusaders could go tearing around the fields, playing. Once again, I found myself feeling nostalgic. Nostalgia for a world I’d never known, never set foot on. This illusion probably didn’t even hold a candle to the real thing.

Looking to the north, I could make out the city far away; the Citadel of the Timelords. A strange race, like humans, with many faults. But I liked to think that they were ultimately on the side of good, most of the time, apart from the crazy ones obviously. They’d been there for eons; sworn never to interfere, only to watch. A hard life for anyone to lead. I still can’t imagine it; being taken from your home at only eight, and told to look into the time vortex. Just the world left me inspired and wistful.

To think, all that I saw, it was all gone now. The lakes, the fields the foals were playing on, the shining cities, even that amazing sky...all burned up. Any fool could see why Time Turner was the way he was. For Celestia’s sake, even Dinky served as a reminder for all he’d lost, and yet he continued to help her and look after her.

I finally brought things to a close a little before sunset back in Equestria. The foals were all sorry to leave, but quite glad to hear that Dinky could replicate the spell as well. She was quite good at it too, although like me, living things were a bit beyond her reach. Still, damn impressive for a little filly.

I let them all head on their way home, each foal causing the world to ripple slightly as they crossed through the edge of the bubble. I stayed for a little while longer, my gaze still locked on that beautiful sky.

As I deactivated my magic, the illusion faded. The Citadel was replaced by the homely image of Sweet Apple Acres.

And with that, I headed inside.
> Chapter 9 - Unlawful Gatherings
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Alright, this is your last warning!” I bellowed into the loud hailer. “Get the hay off of our property, or we’ll force you out.” The large crowd before me however, didn’t pay much heed. 

It sure was a sight; half of Sweet Apple Acres it seemed was now occupied by a seemingly uncountable number of trespassers. It had begun innocently enough with just a couple of them visiting, but before long, numbers had swelled, and we simply couldn’t accommodate everyone. 

We were outnumbered; AJ was stuck at the castle in town, leaving the task of moving this vast herd to me, Big Mac, AB and Granny Smith. Even the Met didn’t face these kinds of odds during the Race Riots back in the ‘80’s. 

The crowd was becoming more and more agitated. They all wanted to stay, despite the impossibility of such a scenario. They didn’t seem to be in a particularly talkative mood either. All it would take now was one little spark, and this whole thing would kick off like a Rangers v Celtic match.

That was when the first stone was thrown. Sadly though, I don’t believe the thrower themselves was without sin. Thus I claim the moral high ground. I put up a quick shield spell to protect Mac and me, while shepherding Granny and AB back towards the house. 

Any second now, and we’d probably get charged. A hundred to one were not good odds. Still, they looked to be mostly earth ponies. With any luck, my magic would keep a portion of them back, at least for a while. 

Let me back up. I think you all at least deserve an explanation for all this. After all, how often is it that ponies need to be read the Riot Act?





As a rule, I love books, fiction, non-fiction, it doesn’t matter. Almost all of them have value in one way or another. Even Mein Kampf was useful in demonstrating that Herr Hitler had all the literary talent of an edgy thirteen year old who was convinced that he was right. So, you can imagine, when Twilight told me about her intention to publish the diary her and her friends had kept all through Season 4, which had played a key role in defeating Tirek and sticking him back in Tartarus, I was happy. 

Even after all this time, whenever Twilight or one of her friends solves a friendship problem, I can’t help but hear that old clarinet solo that would play when Twilight wrote her letter to Celestia. The diary was a nice continuation of that after Twilight completed her studies. It was a shame the girls didn’t continue to keep a diary. It was always nice to look through those old letters and reminisce. 

Twilight had come up with the idea after talking to a couple fillies, and seeing how pretty much everypony in Equestria faced a friendship problem at one time or another. And, as magical as the map may be, there are only so many ponies it sends out on missions. I’m sure that it has to prioritise, and that it doesn’t respond to every little niggle that goes on in the realm. So she came up with the idea of publishing the diary as a sort of self-help book for ponies to consult. After all, over the course of the seasons, they’d come across all sorts of different issues. You’d be hard pressed to find something that wasn’t covered. 

And so the young alicorn dug out the old diary and started collating it into something that could be published, with me lending a hoof when I could. 

“This certainly makes a nice change from research,” I commented as the pair of us, along with Spike and Starlight, dug through the various entries Twilight and her friends had made between her ascension and Tirek’s brief escape. 

“I know what you mean, Blade Star,” Twilight replied with a smile. “It's nice to just meet up just for fun like this.”

“Ya know, this book is gonna help a lot of ponies, Twilight. Ah know it would have sounded silly at the time, but Ah always tried to take your friendship lessons to heart back on Earth.” Twilight looked at me curiously, pausing for a moment in her search.

“Why would that be silly?” she asked. I paused and shrugged my shoulders.

“Well, your show was aimed at little kids mostly. A lot of folks thought it was mighty strange for someone my age to be watchin’.” Twilight snorted and tossed her head.

“That’s silly, Blade Star,” she replied. “Anypony can learn from these lessons, you don’t have to be a filly or colt. I’m sure plenty of adults would learn from this. For goodness sake, Starlight even got sent to help the princesses with a friendship problem.”

I let that thought hang in the air as we all returned to reading. I found my mind drifting to the analysis some fans would do of episodes, myself included at times. Way back in Season One, the whole issue of Pinkie Sense had triggered a major debate about faith and religion. Isn’t it strange how a show can lead to such broad discussions? Sometimes I think we used to take the show a tad too seriously, myself included. 

Shaking the cobwebs from my mind, I got back to work. Reading through a few sheets, I came across what I knew to be the episode ‘Rarity Takes Manehattan’. That was a good lesson if you ask me; dealing with having your generosity challenged and thrown back in your face. Celestia knows that happened to me more than once. Taking the pages in my magic, I put them together with a paperclip and put them into the pile. 





I didn’t hear too much after that, at least not initially. Twilight decided to go with the philosophy of ‘go big or go home’ and sent her completed manuscript to all the major publishers from Baltimare to San Fransiscolt. Her name and title carried a fair bit of weight behind it, and I had no doubt that she’d find somepony that was happy to publish the new book. Still, the waiting for a response was a bit tedious. 

I actually didn’t see Twilight for quite a while after that. From the series, you’d have thought that she and her friends were together every day, but as each has their own life, it usually takes a major friendship problem, or near world ending catastrophe to get them all together. Still, they do get together whenever they can. I remember not too long ago the six of them went to one of those escape room puzzle places. They did quite well too if I remember rightly. 

Anyway, I’m rambling again. My own life kept me quite busy the next couple of weeks. I was in charge of calving this year. The cows that lived on the farm’s gazing land would come to the farm proper when their time drew near. They can for the most part manage on their own, but it’s always better to be safe than sorry if you ask me, so I found myself playing midwife for a few days. The herd ended up swelling by seventeen. I still find it strange, cows I mean. They’re animals in Equestria, but they can talk. How would you feel if you were actually talking to a heffer when she was in labour?

After that, I ended up going to my parents’ house; their cooker had packed up and I volunteered to take a look at it before they paid someone to come and fix it. Luckily, it was just the pilot light that had gone out; an easy enough fix when you know what you’re doing. Although I was rather careful to check for gas first; I’m not entirely stupid. 

Other than that though, the next couple weeks were uneventful. I even had the chance to stay up late a couple of evenings and enjoy the cool night air and the moonlight. I always love that, particularly on a warm night. I’ve actually ended up falling asleep on the soft grass once or twice. 

Sadly, that was the last moment of peace and serenity that I was going to get for a while. Because, courtesy of Twilight, we were about to be launched into a world of issues. 





At first, things were going quite well. As I suspected, Twilight had no trouble finding a publisher to get the book printed and on shelves. That was all well and good. What nopony had anticipated was how popular the book would become. I saw the figures myself; the bloody thing actually outsell that weird BDSM fanfiction ripoff that had sent all the mares into a frenzy. Supply quickly outstripped demand. The reviews from critics were all 9’s and 10’s, it was like watch a triple A game go on launch day.

And just like a triple A game, it was on the next day that issues began to crop up. Firstly, there was the sudden upsurge in tourism. Ponyville, for all its history and proximity to Canterlot, is regarded as a backwater burg by the rest of Equestria. If it wasn’t for the Elements of Harmony and the Everfree Forest, I doubt the place would register on most ponies’ radars. With the book’s publication though, every hotel and B&B suddenly found itself booked solid. Ponies came from all over to see the various locations from the book and meet their new heroes. I still can’t believe those six get so little credit sometimes. In a way, it was quite funny though. It was like a bunch of bronies had suddenly rocked up, the way they were all fanboying about everything. 

The second issue was the way some of these ‘fans’ behaved. Remember those guys who took the whole ‘best pony’ thing way too seriously? Yeah, that happened. Ponies arguing with each other in the middle of the street over who had better friendship lessons, and with each side bringing up the others character flaws. I saw a bunch of ponies yelling at each other like a mob. One side complained that Dash had an ego bigger than the sun and moon combined, while the other moaned about how Fluttershy just learned the same lesson over and over again. 

Now, I'll admit, I did dabble in these debates back on Earth. But that was before I knew they were real ponies. To me it was just a bit of analysis of a TV show. This was more like creepy celebrity worship/stalking. 

Thoroughly disgusted by the whole situation, I headed back to Sweet Apple Acres. I had planned on spending the day in town, maybe swinging by Sugarcube Corner. But all those out of towners had soured my mood. The worst part was that nopony was actually talking about the friendship lessons, you know, the whole point of the sodding book. 





You know what I love about Sweet Apple Acres? I love how quiet and peaceful it is. There’s nothing to be heard apart from the birds, the running streams, and the steady hum of insects. There’s no sounds of civilisation with Ponyville a few miles away. At night, all you can hear is the cows tearing away at the grass. 

That wasn’t what I heard today though. In the place of the usual calm, I could hear dozens of voices all chattering away. Even when the family reunion rolled around it wasn’t this noisy. Cresting the brow of the hill, I saw what all the fuss was about. 

There were ponies absolutely everywhere. There had to be at least fifty in the farmyard alone. They were all milling about, messing with equipment, going in the outbuildings, I could even see a few in the farmhouse. 

For a few moments, I didn't move. I was just plain shocked by what I was seeing. It was one thing for all these tourists to clog up half of Ponyville, but Sweet Apple Acres was private property. 

As I looked on, my eyes picked out an orange blob, with a deep maroon one standing next to it. Cantering over, I found AJ and Big Mac. Both of them looked to be at a complete loss. 

“What the hay is this circus?!” I exclaimed over the din. 

“Sweet Apple Admirers,” Big Mac replied with a scowl. “They started turnin’ up not long after you left, Bones. They’re all fans of Applejack and want to stay on the farm and live the country life.”

“What?!” Big Mac went on. 

“Granny Smith’s been runnin' herself ragged just tryin’ to cook for these folks. And Celestia knows how we’re gonna find ‘em all a place to bed down tonight.”

This was ridiculous! The farm had basically been overrun by a bunch of glorified squatters. ‘Live the country lifestyle’ my foot! And they were just expecting us to look after them. Well, at least they weren’t turning on AJ. I guess given how she was often the voice of reason in the group, they were less likely to find fault with her. 

Still, there was no way we could just let this whole thing slide. The farm simply couldn’t support this many ponies. That was all there was to it. These freeloaders and hipsters would have to go, tonight. Running a hoof through my mane, I tried to think over the din. 

“Okay,” I said. “There’s no way this sort of thing is legal. All we’ve got to do is tell ‘em all to vamoose.” Mac frowned and turned to his little sister. 

“Ya sure can try, Bones,” she replied, looking around worriedly. “But Ah can’t see how we’re gonna get ‘em along. If they all start gettin’ riled up, there’s no tellin’ what could happen.”

She was right on that front. This whole thing was a public order situation waiting to happen. And we didn’t have batons, riot shields and CS gas on hoof. Telling them all to bugger off could turn this into Equestria’s answer to Dale Farm, only with rabid fans instead of those thieving tinkers.

“Ah’m gonna go talk to Twilight,” AJ said after a few moments. “We’re all in the same boat here, and she’s bound to come up with a way to clear this whole mess up.” With that, she cantered off, helpfully drawing a few of her fans away with her. I turned to Mac.

“Mac, remember when I told you about the Nazis on Earth?” He nodded silently. “Next time I say burning books is stupid, remind me of this.”





And so, Mac and were left to ourselves. AB and Granny Smith were safe in the house for the time being. We’d managed to chase out the few ponies that had had the cheek to let themselves in and had used bales and an overturned cart to form a makeshift barricade. I was basically recreating the corral at Rorke’s Drift. It would give us some breathing space. Alternatively, this could also quite easily turn into Ishandlwana. 

Our ‘guests’ however, showed no signs of packing up and going home. They weren’t too bad; at present they were just milling about or sitting down. But we were pretty much cut off. Applejack may have been the main attraction, but there were more than a few mares, and some stallions, who came to see Big Mac instead, and not about friendship lessons if you take my meaning. The poor guy has to put up with that crap from mares in town as it is. As a result, he didn’t fancy going across the line. 

I meanwhile, was doing my best to maintain a good distance from the mass of ponies. I didn’t want them right up against the barricade for safety’s sake. You think Dale Farm in Equestria is bad? Try explaining Equestria’s version of Hillsborough to Celestia. Other than that though, there wasn’t much else we could do. I had a couple of ideas that may work in a pinch, but Mac and me decided that we’d be a lot happier with a few more ponies to help out. I just did my best to keep a weather eye on the crowd. We needed to spot and pick out any potential agitators that might cause this whole mess to flare up. 





And so, we waited. There was little to do but watch. Ponies were still going in and out of the outbuildings. They were using the water pump to stay hydrated. Some were even giving makeshift hayrides to their friends with some of the apple carts. Even if this did all end peacefully, there was going to be one hell of a cleanup to do. Still, at least they all had food for the time being.

For the next while at any rate, it was a case of ‘all quiet on the Western Front’, and it was now Applejack, along with Twilight and the others, who had to deal with their own issues. From what she told me afterwards, the six of them, along with Starlight and Spike, met up in the castle to try and find a way out of the situation. Poor Twilight was all but heartbroken. Her idea of giving ponies a sort of friendship guide book had resulted in the spawning of a sort of internal brony fandom, and only the worst parts of it. 
 
They did however, manage to find a solution to their ridiculous predicament. The Mane Six had fallen victim to a problem that also befell the princess of Equestria; ponies assumed that they were, or ought to be, perfect. Twilight and the others might embody the Elements of Harmony, but they weren’t the Elements themselves. Like all of us, they had their own flaws and foibles. 

The six of them put this notion to their rabid fans and cruel detractors. Apparently, it all kicked off into a musical number, something that hasn’t happened for a while. I really must see about getting myself involved in one of those one of these days. The long and short of it was they weren’t perfect; they were ‘works in progress’ as Twilight put it. After all, when it comes to friendship, you never really, truly complete your studies. You may learn enough to become a teacher, but you yourself will always have something new to learn.

The good news was that the crowd was actually pretty much accepting of this, and it did help defuse the whole situation. The ponies soon returned to their own homes, wherever they might be, and Ponyville was once again peaceful and idyllic. The bad news was that these infernal ‘Sweet Apple Admirers’ weren’t there when it happened. While the other Elements saw all their fans go on their merry way, and Twilight’s book actually began to find its way into the right hooves at last, we were still stuck with about a hundred hipsters who wanted a cliched country lifestyle, with none of the work. 

Worse still, while the situation was beginning to calm down in town, on the farm, things were beginning to heat up. The crowd was getting restless. Ponies were getting more insistent, demanding that we put them up for the night. I needn’t tell you how impossible that is. Hence how we find ourselves at the situation I described earlier. 

“Alright, this is your last warning! Get the hay off our property or we’ll force you out!” 

Had I done any training on public order, I’d have known that that was the worst thing to do. The crowd now began to unite against a common enemy. You saw it at football matches where the rozzers would arrest one rowdy muppet and then all the fans would turn on them, even those from the opposing team. 

More to the point, it was a painfully empty threat. I knew I’d screwed up the moment I spoke, but sadly, Twilight has told me to stay away from time travel magic, as has Starlight. 

“Bones, ya damn idiot!” Big Mac quietly seethed at me as the crowd began to turn on us. Well, it was too late to worry now. 

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw something fly through the air. I didn’t know what it was, nor did I care to know. What I did know was that it was headed our way and had come from the crowd. I quietly hoped that they’d not gotten into the cider distillery. And that Equestrians didn’t know how to make molotovs. 

“Ponyfeathers!” I exclaimed. “Mac, get close to me!” 

Luckily, Mac complied almost instantly, and I was able to throw up a shield spell. The dark blue half sphere encased the pair of us in its protective cover. A moment later, the missile landed. It was an empty bottle, which shattered harmlessly on the shield’s outer surface. If it had hit either one of us though...I didn’t fancy dwelling on that. 

So, SITREP, I’d managed to knacker the negotiations and destroy any rapport we may have had with our ‘guests’. They were now turning on us and beginning to throw things at us. There were at least a hundred of them, and only Mac and me. Inside the house were AB and Granny smith, along with Winona. If they got past us and into the house, Celestia only knows what might happen. There was only one thing for it. 

I found myself dwelling on the words of Ferdinand Foch, a French general from the Great War, who engaged the Germans at the Marne in 1914. ‘My centre is giving way. My right is retreating. Situation excellent; I am attacking.’ 

A less insane version would be the words of the old Desert Fox; ‘Attack is the best form of defence’. If we just tried to hold them back, we wouldn’t last five minutes. But most of the ponies in front of us were earth ponies, and I had magic. Maybe...just maybe…

Dropping my shield I powered up my horn and used a trick I’d come up with in my early days in Equestria, during cider season. Tilting my horn up into the sky, I fired up off a few blasts of magic. Rather than just shooting out a beam though, the spell I used created an audible noise, loud, and similar to a rifle shot. 

Guns being a foreign thing in Equestria, most ponies weren’t used to the sound. And just like horses on earth, ponies could startle easily. I fired two shots into the air, the sound mimicking that of a shotgun. The loud bangs, combined with the bright flash of light caused ponies up front to stagger and stop in their tracks. 

“Get back!” I bellowed again. “Next time it won’t be a warning shot!”

That stopped the initial onrush of ponies. It didn’t disperse them though. The front of the group remained some six feet away from our little barricade. They might be easily startled, but they weren’t cowards. They’d soon be back, and in greater numbers knowing my luck. 

I was just contemplating what would happen if they did try to charge us again. I’d have to fire into the crowd. So we’d gone from a potential Hillsborough to a potential Bloody Sunday. Was that an improvement or not? Luckily for us all though, I didn’t have time to dwell on that thought for long, as I heard a roaring overhead. Mac and me looked up to a wonderful sight.

There were perhaps twenty pegasi, all white with blue manes, dressed in the armour of the Royal Guard. AJ must have told Twilight what was going on. Even better, at the centre of the group was a chariot from the castle. I recognised the eyepatch wearing unicorn riding in it instantly; it was Strong Shield!





The small armada of guards touched down in the area between Big Mac and I, and the ponies gathered around us. Strong Shield actually leapt out of the chariot as it passed low over the crowd, rolling onto his hooves as he landed. The guards soon formed a more defensible perimeter, while Strong Shield trotted over to join us. 

“You guys need a hoof?” the old guard asked with a grin. 

“You’ve got good timin’, cap. Ah’ll give ya that,” I replied, with a grin of my own. The changeling turned guardspony now took the loud hailer from me in his magic and went up to the ring of guards. 

There was now a half moon formation of guards around the farmhouse. Their wings were fanned out in a show of force and some of them even had their spears with them. In a way, they were copying a tactic from the Napoleonic period; squares, a tactic that had saved Britain’s hide at Waterloo. It was basic psychology really; horses wouldn’t charge into pointed bayonets. A square shape meant that there was no way around it. Strong Shield’s deployment was pretty much the same; there was no way anypony was going to cross that lot. 

Holding the loud hailer in his green aura, the only vague giveaway of his true nature, Strong Shield took a scroll that had been handed to him by one of his subordinates. Bringing the loud hailer up, he read out the proclamation. 

“Her Grand Royal Highness Princess Celestia hereby charges and commands all ponies being assembled to immediately disperse themselves and peaceably depart to their own homes on pain of imprisonment or other such penalty so defined in this act made in the first year of the reign of the diarchy for preventing disorder and riotous assemblies.”

He was quite literally reading the riot act. Back home, this was the moment things kicked off and somebody would punch the copper reading it. In Equestria though, there is a bit more respect for law and order. And let’s face it, the ponies in front of us were seriously outmatched. We may occasionally mock the Royal Guard, but when it isn’t subjected to the Worf Effect, they can be quite the formidable force. 

If I remember my law correctly, there was now a one hour grace period before the guards would start arresting ponies. Luckily though, it all had the desired effect. Almost as soon as Strong Shield had finished, ponies were starting to pack up their stuff and leave, heading back towards Ponyville, and hopefully the train station. 

And with that, we all breathed a sigh of relief. The guards were equally quick in heading off, presumably back to Canterlot, or to check on Twilight. Strong Shield however, stuck around for a little while to chat with me. It had been ages since the two of us had met up. It was good to see the old man again. I look up to him somewhat, he taught me everything I know about fighting with magic. 

“You all good here now, Rook?” he asked. Since day one, he’s referred to me as ‘rookie’. I consider the contraction an improvement and sign of respect. Big Mac and I nodded.

“Yes, cap,” I replied with a nod. “Mac and me can finish cleanin’ up the mess here. It was lucky y’all arrived when ya did.” Strong Shield smiled.

“You can thank your marefriend for that,” he replied. “Her and Princess Twilight. Plus it’s always nice to give the colts something to do. It’s been years since I’ve had to deal with something like that. Reading the Riot Act makes you feel alive again.”

At that, he let out a short sharp cough that seemed to originate deep in his throat. It made me consider for the first time that he was getting on in years. His mane was beginning to turn a light silver in places, lighter even than the enchantment that gave each unicorn a grey coat and silvery mane. 

“Ya okay there, cap?” I asked, with some hesitation. He nodded and brought a hoof to his mouth as he let out another cough. 

“Yeah, Rook, I’m fine,” he replied. “Just picked something up in the barracks.” He straightened himself up. “Anyway, I best be heading back myself. Say hello to your dad for me, will you?”

I promised him that I would. And with that, the captain climbed aboard the chariot he had come in, and headed off back to Canterlot, leaving Mac and me to clear up the rubbish and debris, as well as the damage done by these infernal ‘Sweet Apple Admirers’. It took us the better part of the day. In fact it was almost sundown when we’d gotten everything squared away again, and that was with AJ, who returned late in the afternoon, and the rest of the Apples’ lending a hoof. 

I’d enjoyed the chance to speak to the old squaddie again. There weren’t many of his type left in the Royal Guard. The old school knuckle draggers were being replaced by graduate types, like Shining Armor; just another sign of changing times. 

I wouldn’t see him again for quite some time. And when our paths next crossed, it would be under distinctly less pleasant circumstances.
> Chapter 10 - Somewhere Beyond the Sea
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

When Lizzie and I were kids, we used to go on holiday pretty much every year. It wasn’t anything too fancy of course. Mum always described us as lower middle class, so there were no holidays to Disney World Florida or anything. Usually, during the big six week holiday from school in the summer, we’d all pack up our bags, drive down to Portsmouth, and catch the cross channel ferry to Caen. From there we’d drive to a chambre d'hote in a little town called Villers Bocage and spend a few days enjoying Normandy. 

I remember it all very fondly, it was a lot of fun. We’d get immersed in the culture completely on this little farm. For a week or so, we’d be communicating pretty much entirely in French, picking up a little bit more of the language each year. By my early teens, I was pretty much fluent. I can still get by in Prance even now. 

As Lizzie and I got older though, and headed off to university, we went away as a family less and less. It slowly got a lot more expensive to go somewhere, and those small little family run places were fast being replaced by corporate hotels. It just wasn’t as appealing anymore. 

That’s not to say we didn’t go anywhere, we just didn’t go together. Lizzie and Mum would sometimes go to Malaga for a weekend, Dad and me would go down to Wiltshire to go walking on the downs. But we didn’t have those old fashioned family holidays.

In Equestria, it was even more difficult. We were all grown up now. I had the farm to look after, Dad had his job at court, Lizzie had her job on the weather patrol, and Mum was back teaching. We were hard pressed to get all our schedules lined up. 

Regardless though, as I was bucking away at the apple trees one morning, it dawned on me that we all needed a holiday. Not just a break from work, we’d all had our fair share of those, we needed a change of routine. We needed to get out of Ponyville for a bit, go somewhere nice and just spend time together as a family.

So I started planning in the evenings, trying to work out something we’d all like. Equestria had its fair share of destinations to choose from, everything from city breaks to places like Ponyville. There were even holidays set in a Cajun region on the other side of the Everfree. 

But none of these really appealed to me, and I doubted we’d all want to do it. For instance, I was rather interested in a holiday to Griffonstone, which had a sort of military history tour vibe. But I knew Lizzie and Mum wouldn’t like that. Conversely, Lizzie has wanted to go to Manehattan for ages, but I can’t stand cities. What we really needed was a sort of mixture of everything. It was a shame Equestria didn’t have RVs, otherwise I might have suggested taking a leap out of the Americans’ book and go on a driving holiday around the country. 

Just as I was about to give up in despair though, I turned the page of the travel catalogue that I’d been browsing through (unsurprisingly, there’s no Trivago in Equestria, since there’s no internet) and came across an interesting advertisement.

You see, Equestria doesn’t really have aeroplanes. Just as the nation never moved on from steam engines to diesel motors, they never abandoned the idea of lighter than air flight. In Equestria, there was never a Hindenburg, R-101 or USS Macon. The airship has been the dominant means of long distance travel for non pegasi. And just like their ocean going counterparts, these ships offered cruises as holiday options. It was perfect! We’d never gone on a cruise back on Earth, but this looked to be great. The route went from Canterlot across to Manehattan and Baltimare, then west to Vanhoover and Luna Bay, before turning south for San Fransiscolt and Applewood. It was pretty much a trip around Equestria. All told, it would take a fortnight or so, depending on weather. The price wasn’t too bad either; if we all chipped in, it would suit everyone’s budget. 

Satisfied that I’d made some progress, I put a bookmark in the brochure and headed up to bed. My browsing had taken me quite a way into the night, and Luna’s moon was shining through the kitchen window. Carefully walking upstairs, I clambered into bed and went to sleep.





The next morning, which was a Tuesday saw me heading off the farm to pay call on my family members. I made for my parents’ house first. I could go chat with them, see if they liked the idea, and then head on out to visit Lizzie at Fluttershy’s after lunch. I was optimistic about them all agreeing. After all, there seemed to be something for everyone. Destinations aside, there was plenty to do on these airships. They really had maintained the elegance of travel that had burned up along with the Hindenburg’s hull back on Earth. 

Heading into town, I passed the schoolhouse, which was of course locked up since today was a public holiday. My parents’ house isn’t far beyond, a stroke of luck as far as Mum is concerned. Dad meanwhile has to cross town to get to the railway station. Walking up to the large, Swiss style house, I opened the front gate with my magic and trotted up to the front door. 

Rapping on it with a hoof, I felt a pang of sadness at not hearing Charlie barking to alert Mum and Dad that there was someone at the door. But it was good that the drone had been able to return to his own people. From what I hear, Thorax is doing quite well for himself. How times change.

A few moments later, and I heard footsteps on the other side of the door and heard the catch release. The door then opened to reveal my mother, who looked to be in the middle of a spot of housework. 

“Hello there, son,” she said with a smile. “What brings you down this way?” I shrugged my shoulders.

“What, do Ah need an excuse to visit my mum and dad now?” I replied. Getting on my hind legs, I gave her a hug. “You’re not too busy are you?”

“No, no, not at all. Come in,” she said, stepping back to let me inside. “I was just doing a spot of hoovering.”

Heading inside, I followed her through the hallway. Most of the windows were open at the moment, presumably to air out the house a bit. There was a vacuum cleaner resting against the stairs, and a box of dusters and other cleaning supplies sat on the stairs. Through the kitchen window, I could see the laundry drying on the washing line out back. 

“Is Dad about?” I asked. I’d taken a look in the living room as I walked past, but there was no sign of him.

“Oh, he’s in his study at the moment,” Mum replied. “You can pop in and see him if you want though.”

We now came into the kitchen and the both of us took a chair at the breakfast table. It was a little strange getting in a normal chair. For one thing, it meant I had to sort of scramble up, like when I was just a little kid. I quickly started my little sales pitch while Mum put a pot of tea on. 

“Ah was thinkin’,” I said as I pulled out the travel brochure. “We haven’t been on a family holiday since we got here. And Celestia knows we could all use a break.”

“You know it’s funny you say that,” Mum replied, fixing the tea. “I was just saying the same thing to your father.” I laid the brochure out on the table.

“Ah found this at the travel agent,” I went on. “I figured that we’d all want to do something different. This airship cruise might just…” That was as far as I got.

“Airship?!” Mum exclaimed in surprise. “You don’t mean you want to take a holiday in one of those exploding gasbags, do you?” I grimaced at that.

“Those were all because of the hydrogen in the fuel cells,” I replied, attempt to assuage her fears. “Equestrian airships are helium based. They can’t blow up.  If it wasn’t safe, Celestia would have them all grounded in minutes.” Mum pondered this for a moment.

“What about if we run into a storm though?” she asked. “I know for a fact that plenty of airships crashed because they flew into heavy wind and rain.” I resisted the urge not to smile and roll my eyes.

“Mum,” I said with an air of patience. “Who controls the weather in Equestria? Don’t you think the pegasus ponies would move any bad weather if it was likely to affect an airship?” Mum blushed a little as she realised her little mistake. 

“Trust me, it’ll be fun,” I went on, trying to capitalise on her indecision. “We’ll all have a lovely time and get to see loads of places around Equestria.” I passed her the brochure in my magic for her to read. She looked it over for a minute or so before falling back on an old response.

“Go ask your father,” she said. I grinned and trotted off to Dad’s study. 

“That means yes!” I called back to her, making her smile. 





Heading back down the hallway, I headed into the living room, and from there to the door that led to my Dad’s study. From right when I was just a toddler, I knew it was never a good idea to disturb Dad when he was working. He usually kept his door shut because he had case files out; the sort of stuff I technically wasn’t meant to see. But between us girls in the powder room, I saw plenty of documents with battenburg in the header. 

Anyway, like I said, he never really liked being interrupted. He never shouted at me or anything, but you could always tell he was a little annoyed at being disturbed. As such, most of the time, me and Lizzie and even Mum, would leave him to himself when he was in there. 

On the other hoof though, annoying him is deeply fun. So I knocked on the door. 

“What?!” an angry voice snapped from within. I restrained myself from chuckling. 

“It’s me, Dad,” I called out. A moment later, the latch went and my Dad was standing in the doorway, glaring down at me. 

“And what do you want?” he said with a weary sigh, although I could tell he was half putting it on. 

“Just wanted to know if you wanted to come on a cruise holiday with the rest of the family.” I held up the brochure in my magic. 

Putting his reading glasses on, he took a look over the advert, his eyes slowly going to the right before darting back left on each line. After he was finished, he took them off again and blinked a few times. 

“It’s all very nice, Bones,” he said. Now a lot more cool headed. “But I can’t just up sticks and go on a jolly boys outing. I’ve got work.”

“Actually, you have two weeks of leave coming up, starting next Monday.”

I held up the scroll I’d brought with me. It had come via Spike and was adorned with Celestia’s seal and tied with the signature red ribbon. What, you think I didn’t plan ahead just a little bit? I’d dropped by Twilight’s earlier on and had Spike send my request direct to the princess. The response had been pretty quick; Celestia agreed that Dad needed some time off. Apparently, she’d been hinting that he needed a break for a couple weeks. 

Dad took the letter and quickly glanced over it before smiling down at me. 

“Not just a pretty face, are you?” he commented dryly. “Well, I wouldn’t mind hitting the casino on this cruise thing. It’s been ages; you and me could go have a good game of Poker.”

I smiled at that. Dad hasn’t been near a casino since the incident in Las Pegasus involving him and Discord. That resulted in Dad and the draconequus getting banned from the city and one minor incident involving a wedding. 

“Sure,” I replied. “Plus it’ll give you a chance to see San Fransiscolt. You’ve said you always wanted to see the pony version of the Golden Gate bridge.”

“Still bet it’s smaller than the Humber bridge,” he replied, making me roll my eyes.

“So are you in?” I asked. He nodded.

“Yeah. If your mother’s okay with it, I’m happy to come along.” He passed me back the brochure.

“Thanks, Dad,” I said as I trotted out.

I briefly went back to chat with Mum to work out the details. We’d all have to take the train up to Canterlot, which was our departure point. The cruise would start and finish there. After working out all the details, I left my parents and began to make my way towards the Everfree and Fluttershy’s cottage.





With two out of three of my family members signed up to our holiday, I was getting quite excited. I suppose that explains why what particular day of the week it was completely slipped my mind. If I’d stopped to think I’d no doubt have turned around and gone straight home, visiting Lizzie tomorrow. For today was Tuesday, and that meant that Fluttershy had company of the chaotic kind. 

Following the familiar trail, I soon found myself at Fluttershy’s beautiful little cottage. Even after all these years, I’m still reminded of the story of Snow White when I come across this place. Even as I walked up, there were a good dozen or so birds fluttering to and fro around the bird feeders and perches. 

Walking up to the door, I rapped on it a couple times with my hoof. I expected it to open a crack and reveal one teal blue eye, as was Fluttershy’s custom when she had unexpected visitors. Instead though, I heard her and Lizzie’s voice from within, slightly raised, followed by the easily recognisable sound of a teleportation spell. Only then, when it was far too late, did I see my fatal error. 

“Bones!” Discord exclaimed, as he stood directly behind me. I damn near leapt out of my skin.

Without warning, the draconequus scooped me up in a hug. 

“Oh how wonderful to see you, my dear boy!” he went on gleefully. 

Honestly, sometimes I think he’s more terrifying now than before he was reformed. I found myself wrapped up in his serpentine form for a moment before he set me down, allowing me to let out a snort of annoyance. 

“Hey, Discord,” I said, righting my stetson as I did so. I’ve sort of gotten used to the insane chaos god’s ways over the past few years. “Ah’d forgotten that y’all would be here today.” Discord waved a lion paw. 

“Oh please, as if I’d ever miss my weekly tea party with Fluttershy,” he replied. “She is my best friend after all.”

I smiled at that. ‘Best friend’ should always be in quotation marks if you ask me. He’d never admit it, but he’s properly sweet on her. After all, he did go all the way to the Changeling Kingdom to save her when she was captured, although I can assure you his views towards Celestia are more platonic, despite the constant teasing on his part. In any case, I let his comment go. As much as I may occasionally get a clever remark over him, I know not to poke the bear. Particularly when that bear is all but a god in terms of magic. 

Before we could go on, I heard the chain on the door release, and a moment later, Fluttershy joined us. 

“Oh, hello there, Blade Star,” she said sweetly. Even after all this time, she still finds it a test to call me by my nickname, even though I’ve told her time and again that I don’t mind.  

“Hey there, Fluttershy,” I replied, touching the brim of my stetson. “Ah just came by to see Lizzie. But Ah forgot that y’all were entertainin’ today. How ‘bout Ah come back later?” Fluttershy smiled and shook her head.

“Oh it’s no trouble at all,” she replied kindly. “I know you and Lizzie don’t get to see each other often as it is. Come inside, please.” She stepped back to let me in. 

Behind me, I heard Discord’s teeth grinding. He’s very protective of Fluttershy, and dare I say, a touch jealous if anypony intrudes on their time together. And I do mean that, rescue attempt aside, I wouldn’t want to be the idiot who hurt Fluttershy with Discord around. Celestia only knows what he’d do with his magic to such a pony. 

The three of us headed back inside to the living room, where Lizzie was still sitting on the sofa, contentedly sipping on a cup of rosy lea. She looked up as I walked in.

“Hey, Bones,” she said, with a half hearted wave of a hoof. 

“Hey, Lizzie,” I replied. “You okay?” She nodded. 

“Yeah, just a bit tired is all.” That was good opening for me. I sat down with Discord, while Fluttershy took a seat next to my sister. The draconequus snapped his fingers and summoned himself a good book, and promptly tuned us out. 

“Well it’s mighty funny ya say that, sis,” I said with a smile. “Cause Ah reckon we could all use a vacation. Ah’ve been talking with Mom and Dad and we’re fixin to go on this here cruise. Ah was wonderin’ if y’all would like to come along.” Lizzie started at that. 

“A cruise?” she said excitedly. “Where?” I briefly outlined the circular route the airship would take. She seemed just about to say yes when a thought struck her. 

“It does sound nice, Bones,” she said. “But I can’t just leave Fluttershy on her own to look after all the animals.” Fluttershy smiled at her friend’s selflessness. 

“You should go, Lizzie,” she said encouragingly. “You spend so much time here helping me. You deserve to spend some time with your family. Besides, with my new nature reserve up and running at last, there's far less work to do around here." 

Ah yes, I’d heard about this from AJ. Fluttershy had always wanted to build an animal sanctuary somewhere outside Ponyville. And with how busy she was, she finally had the excuse. AJ had called in her old friend Wrangler to help get the place up and running, and with a bit of a friendship lesson tacked on, they'd succeeded. From the designs and concept art I’d seen, she'd made a proper White Deer Park of a place, taking a load off both her and Dr. Fauna. 

This seemed to sway Lizzie around to the idea. I didn’t want to say anything, but the poor girl did look quite tired. Between her weather work and helping Fluttershy, she really runs herself ragged at times. Like Fluttershy, she needs to learn to say no. 

“Alright then, I’ll check with Dash, see if I can get some leave.”

“Of course she will, sis,” I replied. “Me and Applejack were talkin’ ‘bout the schedule this mornin’; it’s clear skies for the next two weeks at least.”

And so, Lizzie agreed. That was everyone on board. Discord was quite pleased too. Now he could have Fluttershy all to himself for a week or two. It always amazes me how well behaved he is around Fluttershy; it’s almost like she’s broken the poor guy in. 





So, with everyone in agreement, I went ahead and booked four berths for the cruise, starting on the Friday. We all met up in the morning at the train station with our bags packed and ready to go. Pinkie Pie of course, got wind of our departure and decorated the whole station to say goodbye for a fortnight. AJ, Mac and Apple Bloom came to see me off, while Fluttershy and RD came to say bye to Lizzie. We quickly boarded the early morning train and set off for Canterlot, taking a chance to nap on the way up the Canterhorn.   

We soon found ourselves in that sparkling city and were lugging our suitcases up the steep hill toward the port. Canterlot, being Equestria’s capital, naturally is a centre for transport. The Friendship Express terminates here at its grand station, and it also boasts a major airship port, for both freight and passengers, with routes extending all the way to the Griffon Kingdom.

Arriving at the port, with me carrying most of Mum’s cases with my magic, we saw the vessel that would be our home away from home for the next two weeks or so. It was called the Pride of Mareitania. She was a large airship, at least two hundred feet in length, with a large gondola beneath the prow. At the stern was a large propeller that gave the airship drive. 

It was presently moored in place, held fast by ropes, with a gangplank leading passengers aboard. The four of us, after handing off our luggage to the stewards, followed suit and we were soon settling into our cabins. As we’d all pitched in for this, we could afford a stateroom, something Twilight had suggested when I mentioned the idea. That gave us our own cabins, but with a shared common area where we could all meet up. After all, the whole point of this holiday was to spend some time together. 

We were probably one of the last passengers to climb aboard, for not long after, the tannoy came on to announce that we were about to depart. The main engines were started and we soon cleared the moorings. Like a ship, it wasn’t the fastest departure, but it was quite smooth. For the first half hour or so though, Lizzie was a little airsick and we all had your traditional argument at the start of the holiday. 





Fortunately though, after that, things settled down again. We all laughed about it later as the stress of starting the holiday faded away. The cruise was a lovely one. The brochure certainly didn’t lie about the luxury of the airship. It really did make you feel like you’d gone back to the 1920’s and that you were aboard the Graf Zeppelin, sailing around the world. 

We all had such a lovely time for the next week or so. To list everything that happened would probably fill up an entire book. We visited dozens of places all around Equestria, stopping off at famous landmarks and sailing through majestic vistas. The camera that Mum brought with her was soon filled up, and we had to buy a couple more when we docked in Manehattan, at the Equestria version of the Empire State building, which had been specially modified for the purpose of mooring airships. 

We travelled from Canterlot, up the eastern coast to Baltimare and Manehattan, then north, passing close to the Crystal Empire, and even the border with neighbouring Yakyakistan. After that, we headed west stopping off in Vanhoover before cruising over Luna Bay. I tell you, the lake flies there would put even Lake Victoria to shame. It was beautiful to see in the moonlight though. After that, we cruised down the western coast, stopping in San Fransiscolt and Applewood. Finally, we turned back inland and returned to Canterlot, actually via Ponyville and the Everfree Forest, albeit high enough to be well clear of the rampant storms. 

We all had a great time together. Like I said before, it had been ages since we’d all been together without anypony else. It was nice to just be surrounded by family. That’s not to say we didn’t make friends of course. Leave Dad alone in the ship’s casino for an hour, and you’d be amazed how many ponies he’d connected with. 

All in all, it was a wonderful holiday. There was only one odd incident of note. A harbinger of things to come.





We were cruising through some scattered clouds in the south of Equestria, actually over the badlands. From the air, they make a remarkable sight, not unlike the Grand Canyon. Beyond that though, was out of bounds. Call it a no fly zone. Celestia herself had decreed that nopony was to go further south than this. Why I didn’t know, nor did Dad, even in his position as her legal advisor. 

I was out on deck with him, looking out over the railing at the breathtaking landscape below. This far from any settlement, weather control wasn’t quite as precise, so we ran into some clouds where we had expected clear skies. It had forced the captain to slow our speed considerably, to the speed of a pegasus on a leisurely flight. 

As I said, we were both looking down at the scenery below, when something off to starboard caught my eye. I saw something glint, reflected by the sun. Looking up, I was just about able to make out a vessel, another airship. Now, that itself wasn’t uncommon, we’d passed freighters and a few passenger airships on our cruise. But this one...it looked different somehow. It was sleeker than other ships, and seemed to have a different style, with dark colours and jagged edges.

“Who do ya reckon that is, Dad?” I asked, pointing out the distant ship. It seemed to be matching our course. Dad looked and frowned. 

“I’m not sure, lad,” he replied. He was silent for a few more moments before asking a passing steward to bring him an eyeglass. A minute later, with his vision somewhat improved, he got a better look. 

“Well?” I asked expectantly. 

“I don’t know,” he said, half to himself. “It almost looks like a warship. I can see what looks like gun ports on her side. But Equestria doesn’t have any combat stuff like that.” Retracting the glass, he thought for a moment, before suddenly walking off, in the direction of the bridge. I quickly followed. 

Given his position, my Dad has some leeway when it comes to keep out signs, and he soon found himself on the ships quarterdeck with the captain and first officer. They too seemed to have spotted our new companion and were examining it closely. Dad quickly introduced himself. 

“Have you hoisted ‘M.V’ yet?” he asked. The captain shook his head.

“M.V?” I repeated curiously. Dad explained. 

“It’s a recognition signal; friend or foe,” he said, now more sternly. 

The crew of the ship, quietly of course, now set to work, and a minute or so later, two flags were run up the airship’s rigging. Each flag represented a letter, in this case, M and V. With that done, we all turned our attention back to the unknown craft.

“Right,” Dad said, turning to me as we all looked on. “If he’s from round these parts, he should run up a blue flag at his stern or fire two shots as the countersign.”

But no such reply was forthcoming. Instead, the strange craft altered its course away from us, and a little while later, was lost in the clouds. It looked to be heading into some pretty bad weather too. We were just a passenger ship and were not inclined to go chasing it. 

That was all that I really heard about it. Dad said something about the captain filing a report when we got back, but he said it was probably just a Griffon airship that had gotten lost. After all, who else could it be? If it had been somebody nasty, surely they’d have closed with an unarmed passenger airship. 

The two of us put the matter out of our minds and headed back down to the deck, and from there back to our stateroom. We all spent the evening playing Equestria’s version of Cluedo. I took Dad’s explanation as gospel. After all, there were no other major powers that we needed to worry about, were there? The Changelings were now friends, the Griffons had been allies for over two hundred years, and even the Yaks got on with ponies nowadays, as did the dragons. Whatever the next finale was to be, I was certain that the threat was from within, rather than without. 





A few days later, we returned to Canterlot, thoroughly relaxed and rejuvenated. We’d reconnected as a family again. I almost felt like we were returning from France, and that now I’d have to go back to school. Amazing as it may seem to you, returning to Ponyville and Sweet Apple Acres seemed mundane now. Of course, as I’ve said many times, I could never bring myself to leave that farm, but it was nice to have a break. And as fun as it had been, I was missing Applejack, and Lizzie was missing Dewdrop, her coltfriend. 

Just as when we left, there was a little gathering at the station when we got back, led by Pinkie Pie. We all soon found ourselves splitting up to go back to our homes. In the excitement and merriment and joy at being back among friends, and home and hearth, that one strange incident simply slipped from my mind. 

Had I remembered, I can assure you, I wouldn’t have bothered Celestia with it. I’d have gone to the Wonderbolts, told them about Operation Desert Storm, and instructed them to keep heading south to this world’s version of Antarctica, and flatten anything that looked remotely jagged or obsidian. 

It would have saved everypony a whole lot of grief. But you know what they say; hindsight is twenty twenty. I might know a bit about this world, but even I couldn’t guess at what lay south beyond the Badlands. 

Anyway, with Applejack at my side, I headed back to that old familiar farm that I called home. I’d had a good rest, but now it was time to get back to work. 

Or at least, it would have been, if fate didn’t decide the very next day to kick me in the balls with both back hooves.
> Chapter 11 - Friends Old and New
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I stood there, amongst the crowd, feeling the cold wind blow. It was late fall, almost winter, and it was biting cold, even with my suit and coat to keep me warm. My mind was wandering, it still hadn’t really sunk in. Even now, with Shining Armor standing up front, addressing the assembled crowd, somehow, it didn’t seem real, like a bad dream. 

Strong Shield, a pony who I had come to admire and respect, was dead. 

This was the first time I’d lost anypony since coming to Equestria. I didn’t think it would happen so soon, and certainly not to him. He was hardly a young colt, but he was hardly an old man either. It was a heart attack of all things; he just keeled over in his office, dead before he hit the floor. 

I was still reeling from the shock of opening the invitation to the funeral. Shining himself had wired me to let me know what had happened; a kind gesture by the captain. To tell the truth, I think the whole of the guard was in shock. Looking around, I saw plenty of faces that matched my own, not quite comprehending where they were. 

Shining was giving a beautiful eulogy, his wife standing close by, and with her, Celestia and Luna. I’ve never seen either of them look so broken up. Ponies seem to feel loss, even a distant one, a lot more keenly then humans do. Perhaps that explains why their history is a lot less bloody.  

I was one of the few civilians here. I felt out of place in a simple suit, rather than a dress uniform. But I had to come, to say goodbye. While he may not have said the same always, I considered Strong Shield one of my best friends. He’d taught me to fight with magic, with swords; he helped me become the pony I am today. 

And now he was gone. 

I turned to my left and looked up at Dad, who was standing next to me, his form sticking out from the crowd like a sore thumb. He’d helped Shining plan all this. Strong Shield, as far as anypony knew, had no family. And he’d not said much about any friends in the Changeling Kingdom either. I briefly wondered what had happened about that; did a changeling’s disguise hold in death? It certainly seemed that way. He’d taken the secret of his true nature to his grave. 

Shining finished his eulogy, something I regret to say I barely heard. My dad now stepped forward to say a few words. They had extended an offer to me too, and I’d agreed to say something after Dad. It’s just...I’ve never been good at funerals, and I’ve never found closure in them. Funerals just remind me of the loss and I feel it more keenly. Before we ended up here, I couldn’t even walk into a church without feeling a pang of loss and sorrow. 

Dad passed Shining in the aisle of guards, putting a comforting hand on the stallion’s withers. In his other hand was a copy of the bible, one of many books that had come through the strange rift that had brought us here. He’d checked with Shining and the princesses first of course, and they had no qualms with him putting some of his own religion into the service. After all, it is quite a foreign concept in Equestria. He took his place and began to read. Meanwhile, seven unicorn guards across from the coffin readied themselves. 

“Behold, I tell you a mystery; We shall not all sleep, but we shall all be changed. In a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, at the last trump: for the trumpet shall sound, and the dead shall be raised incorruptible, and we shall be changed. For this corruptible must put on incorruption, and this mortal must put on immortality. So when this corruptible shall have put on incorruption, and this mortal shall have put on immortality, then shall be brought to pass the saying that is written. Death is swallowed up in victory. O death, where is thy sting?”

As he finished reading, I saw Celestia briefly levitate a silk handkerchief to dry a couple stray tears that had run down her face. As Equestria’s mother, she felt the loss perhaps the most keenly, even if Strong Shield were not truly one her little ponies, she had always treated him as such. Dad went on to give a brief sermon on the passage. It was a kind gesture. I just never believed in its message. 

And so, it was my turn. I’d tried to write something meaningful and moving. I think I’d managed something passable.. Like Dad, I’d fallen back on old customs, hence why there was now a solitary poppy attached to my jacket. Stepping up, I paused to put a hoof on the coffin, trying not to think about what lay within. With my magic, I took my notes from inside the jacket pocket. 

“It is ironic that we meet here today, on the eleventh day of November. On my world, this was the day, a century ago, that the worst conflict in our history finally ended. Thousands had died in just a few short years of fighting, and there were many services like this one, to our honoured dead. 

“The battlefields were scarred wastelands, the grass long gone, and only mud remaining. But one thing did grow there, and that was the poppy. It became the symbol of remembrance. Even today, a hundred years later, my people still commemorate that day. On the eleventh hour of the eleventh day of the eleventh month; that was the day the guns at last fell silent, bringing peace back to the world. 

“And that is what we always say to the dead, isn’t it? We hope that they will rest in peace. And I am glad to see that my friend, Captain Strong Shield, can indeed rest in this peaceful land for which he gave so much. 

“There is a particular passage of a poem, written after that terrible war, that I think is quite appropriate for this solemn occasion. 




They shall not grow old, as we that are left grow old;



Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.



At the going down of the sun, and in the morning



We will remember them.



 



With that, I stepped down again and returned to my place among the assembled crowd. Celestia now took over for the final committal. The group of unicorns standing nearby let off their own version of a twenty one gun salute, while a solemn, solitary bugle played the Last Post, another little overlap between our worlds. 

The coffin was lowered into the ground and the assembled ponies began to sing the anthem of the Royal Guard; a tradition at such military funerals. 


 



Equestria



Our home and native land.



Friendship and love,



In all thy sons command.



With glowing hearts we see thee rise,



Our homeland strong and free.



From far and wide, Equestria, 



We stand on guard for thee.



We who keep our land,



Glorious and free.



Equestria



We stand on guard for thee.



O Equestria



We stand on guard for thee.




And with that, my friend was laid to rest, among his comrades in the Cemetery of the Equestrian Royal Guard. I don’t really remember too much about what happened afterwards. Dad and me walked with Shining to a nearby bar, which had been rented out for the wake. That was actually the part that made the most sense.

You see, typically, a wake is a solemn affair, either back at the deceased’s home, or at some other gathering place with food and drink. Everyone stands around drinking tea and eating cucumber sandwiches, swapping stories about whoever has just crossed the Jordan. There may be the occasional laugh or joke, but for the most part, the mood remains as dour as the funeral itself. The military though, treats things a little differently. 

It’s not real laughter, you understand. It’s their way of dealing with the loss. To the outside observer, getting absolutely blitzed after just burying a comrade may seem a bit cavalier, but I can say quite comfortably that it is very cathartic. Everyone laughs, jokes, reminices, and occasionally a small fight breaks out. And so it was that evening. Shining drew first blood, walking straight into the bar and grabbing himself a large cider. Dad went and got a large scotch and I had some fine Appleloosian whiskey. 

The three of us sat down in one of the booths and began to talk. Dad also introduced Shining to the British concept of buying a round, something that was completely foreign to the American inspired Equestrians. At least we all ended up with empty wallets by the end of the night. 

“I just can’t believe it,” Shining was saying. “That stallion got me through basic. He was my first instructor at the academy. And when I became captain I made sure that he had a good position in training. After the first incursion, he helped with the retraining and the wargames. Princess Celestia had him instruct her own personal detachment in changeling detection. He even offered to teach Flurry Heart some self defence tactics when she was old enough. Now that’ll never happen.” 

The blue maned stallion sunk his head onto the table dejectedly and took another swig of his drink. Dad put a comforting hand on his back. 

“He was a good bloke, Shining,” he said, already slightly slurring his words. “Anyone who can whip my son into fighting shape is okay in my book. He was a proper old squaddie. They don’t make ‘em like that no more.”

“He weren’t that old, Dad,” I said with a shake of my head. “He was younger than y’all. Ah still can’t believe a guy who kept himself in such good shape would suffer a heart attack.”

“Oh, it happens, Bones,” Dad replied. “We lost your Uncle Dick the same way. Healthy as you like and then one day, his ticker gives out and he wraps his Cortina round a tree on the Goscort road.”

“I don’t even know who I’m gonna get to replace him,” Shining went on. Dad nearly coughed back his drink.

“Jesus, Shining! He’s not even cold yet!” he exclaimed.  

“Hey, I’ve gotta get all the interviewing done by next week!” Shining shot back with a glare. “It makes me feel awful, but it’s gotta be done.”

“Ah yes, Captain of the Royal Guard,” my dad said with a sneer, he was quite drunk at this point. “Expert at being Celestia’s social secretary, not noticing his wife’s been lifted and getting his magic sealed off or nicked.”

And that kind of sent things south a bit. Luckily they were both too drunk to remember anything about it the next morning. I don’t think Dad meant it either, he was just sad like everypony else. 

But anyway, long story short, it kicked off. I tried to break up Dad and Shining, me putting my hooves on the captain got me decked on the nose, which caused Dad to retaliate against that aggressor, and before you knew it, we all found ourselves violently ejected by the proprietors. 

It didn’t help that it was lashing down either. We all got chucked out into the beer garden and went skidding across the grass, getting ourselves covered in thick, glutinous mud. More than few a dress uniforms were ruined. 

But as is the way with drunk fights, we all suddenly found it funny. Laughing like lunatics, we all staggered back to our homes. Me and Dad made for the train station to catch the late train back to Ponyville. I’d need to sneak in tonight, or at least wash myself off. AJ would probably kill me if she saw, never mind smelled the state I was in. 

I figured that somewhere out there, that old guard was laughing. Either that or yelling at us for bringing the service into disrepute. One or the other. 





The next month or so saw me doing my best to move on from my friend’s untimely passing. It was difficult for a lot of ponies, particularly Shining and Twilight, who had known him since they were foals. Still, time heals all wounds as they say, and while I doubted I’d ever entirely return to my old self, slowly but surely, the pain dulled. 

AJ did a lot to support me and make me feel better. Without being too morbid, she’s more than qualified to talk about the grim subject of death. Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t bawling like a baby every night, but you could tell that the death of the old guardspony had had an effect on me. Even in a land of sunshine and rainbows, where friendship always triumphs over evil, you can still get depressed. 

As I said though, in good time, I bounced back. I found myself smiling again. While there’s nothing wrong with mourning the death of a friend, it doesn’t do to dwell on such things forever; that just eats you up inside. 

I found myself then, once again, relaxing into the somewhat idyllic life on Sweet Apple Acres. It would be a good three months before anything of note happened. And it all started with Granny Smith reading the morning paper. 

I’d just come downstairs, as usual in the early morning for breakfast. Big Mac was already down there setting the table, while Applejack and Apple Bloom were following behind me. Granny was sitting on her chair, reading today’s edition of the Foal Free Press, the school newspaper. It’s actually quite informative, albeit more of the Guardian than the Telegraph, but what do you expect from students? I was just sitting down and about to grab myself a round of toast when Granny spoke up. 

“Ya seen this here symposa-whatsit in the paper this mornin’, Bones?” I looked up at the old mare. 

“What’s that, Granny?” I asked, briefly using my magic to pull AJ’s chair out for her as she joined me. Granny Smith went on. 

“Well, it says here there’s some kind of big meetin’ happenin’ in the Crystal Empire next month. Something to do with that fancy heart thing they’ve got up there.”

Ah yes, the Crystal Heart. Like the Elements of Harmony, we don’t fully understand how the Crystal Heart works. I mean, I can tell you it amplifies the love of ponies and turns it into energy, creating a magical barrier that protects the empire, but I’ve not the slightest clue how it does it. Sometimes I think ponies lack the curiosity of humans. After all, that artifact has existed for over a millenia, and only now has somepony suggested tinkering with it. Perhaps that near miss involving a certain baby alicorn gave them the kick up the rump they needed. 

“What are they doin’ with the Crystal Heart?” I asked curiously. “And who?” Granny re-examined the article. 

“Says here it’s some feller called Sunburst.” Applejack perked her ears at that. 

“That’s Starlight’s friend,” she commented. “He’s the Royal Crystaller up there. Kind of a head honcho or somethin’ when it comes to the Crystal Heart.” Activating my magic, I gently took the paper and examined it for myself. 

“Hmm,” I said, reading the article over. “It says here he wants to study how it works to try and replicate it to protect other cities.” It certainly sounded like a good idea. The heart was like the Elements in that it could defeat pretty much anything that was evil or dark magic based. If possible, you could create a sort of defence net for all the cities. 

“It says all sorts of wizards and magic experts are gonna be attendin’, Bones,” Applejack said. “Ah bet y’all could have a great time up there.” I balked at that, before breaking out into a disparaging laugh. 

“Applejack, Ah might have some knowledge ‘bout magic,” I said kindly. “But this here symposium is for the experts, ponies who graduated from Celestia’s school and the like. Ah’m just an amateur.” Applejack rolled her eyes. 

“Sugarcube,” she said. “I see y’all regularly debatin’ with Twilight ‘bout all sorts of magic; things Ah can’t even begin to understand. Besides, Sunburst himself isn’t exactly an expert. Twilight told us that he didn’t even graduate from magic academy.”

That surprised me. A dropout in the single most important position beneath the imperial family? Applejack continued. 

“Tell ya what, Bones,” she said, leaning into me a moment. “How ‘bout the two of us go up there for a trip? Ah’ve been meanin’ to try getting some of those crystal berries to see if they’ll grow down here. That could let us start our own vineyard. You could go see this symposium at the same time.”

I paused to think. The article did say that all ponies were welcome, and it would probably be quite interesting. And let’s be honest, I had been slacking off on my studies for a while now. If you don’t exercise the mind, it has this worrying tendency to deteriorate. And hey, how could I say no to spending some time with Applejack?

So, I agreed, and the two of us prepared to travel to the Frozen North. 





Believe it or not, this was my first time going to the Crystal Empire. A brony in Equestria for more than a few years, and I don’t go to one of the first big new locales introduced in the series. Well, farm work had a habit of getting in the way. And I liked Ponyville. Even back home, as I’ve said before, I didn’t travel around too much. My Dad’s been up there once or twice in his role as the legal advisor to the princesses. Lizzie too has visited there on holiday her coltfriend, Dewdrop. 

I’d seen plenty of pictures of the place, but little prepares you for seeing it with your own eyes. The train got us there just after dark, with Luna’s moon hanging high in the sky. The snow all around the barren tundra glistened in the moonlight. And off in the distance, was this point of light. It looked like the lights of some strange ocean liner sailing upon a frozen sea. It was so beautiful; an oasis of life and warmth in this harsh wilderness. 

AJ and I had boarded the train at Ponyville and headed north along the main line. It was probably the longest train trip I’d ever been on. Long enough for their to be sleeping berths at any rate. The only overnight trains back home was the Caledonian Sleeper up to Scotland, and as I’m of sound mind, I’d never felt the need to go to that corner of the kingdom.

I’d been dozing slightly, with Applejack fast asleep on the berth above. I’d taken the bottom one, due to my annoying habit of rolling out of bunk beds in my sleep. Still, I was awake enough to feel us slowing down and hear the squeal of the train’s brakes as we pulled into the station. I reached up and shook AJ’s hind leg, which was hanging over the edge.

“‘Jack. ‘Jack, wake up; we’re here,” I said quietly. Eventually she stirred and was soon awake again.  

The two of us stepped down from the train onto the platform, with me carrying our luggage in my magic. We both travelled fairly light, in contrast to certain unicorns I know, with only a case each. After all, we’d only be here a day or so. All we really had were toiletries, some warm clothing and ourselves. 

We quickly made our way to the hotel, walking through the dimly lit, yet shining streets. The lamps caused the crystal roads to literally sparkle, along with pretty much everything else. There were a couple crystal ponies about, but given the late hour, most were tucked up in their beds. 

Reaching our accommodation for the night, we quickly checked in. AJ was struggling to stay awake on the way there and was pretty much dead on her hooves in the reception. So as soon as we were done, I bustled her upstairs and got her to bed. We’d both have a busy day tomorrow. On the other hoof though, I decided to stay up a little longer. 

Stepping back out into the street, I found myself sitting down, enjoying the paradoxically warm night air, and staring up at the large full moon that hung in the sky. Most ponies might have gone to bed, but I was going to enjoy the stargazing the cooler temperatures of the north afforded. After all, somepony ought to appreciate the night once in a while. 

I cast my eyes over to the palace in the centre of the city, which held both the royal family and the Crystal Heart. I’d be going there tomorrow to attend this symposium. I couldn’t help but feel nervous. It had been a long time since I’d been in university, and at the end of the day, Twilight apart, Ponyville was very much a small pond, and I was a big fish. 

Still, at least it promised to be interesting. 





The next morning, the two of us woke up feeling refreshed. Between the sleep on the train up here, and a good night’s sleep that night, Applejack had had more than her eight hours. To be honest, I think she needed the excuse; she is the literal definition of a workaholic when it comes to the farm, and I often find myself worrying about her running herself ragged. 

Still, there was something of an upside. Due to the short notice with which our trip was planned, we’d only been able to get the one room. I’ve been Applejack’s coltfriend for a couple years now, but I’ve not yet shared the same bed with her. Not because I don’t want to, or because I’m asexual or anything, it was more the fact that Big Mac had made clear his disapproval. The Apple family are quite conservative after all, and we weren’t married. We’d got away with relaxing together on the sofa, but I’m certain that the big red stallion would rip me in two if he caught me in his sister’s bed. It’s one of the few points that the two of us disagree on.

The upshot of that was that we were in something of a detente. I respected (and slightly feared) Big Mac, and so didn’t go against him on the issue. But when the opportunity presented itself. Plus Applejack was more than happy to go along with things. The both of us think Mac’s overprotective of her. Then again, I’m just as bad when it comes to my little sister, so perhaps I shouldn’t throw stones. 

I woke up with Applejack wrapped up in my forelegs, something she seemed quite happy with. The sun was just coming over the horizon and the reflecting crystal was projecting a cavalcade of colours onto the wall of our room. 

Getting up, the two of us breakfasted. We could take things at quite a steady pace today. AJ said that she wanted to look around the crystal market, to see if there was any other produce that might reasonably be transplanted down south. She’d also promised Pinkie Pie to buy her one of those flugelhorns that are still in use in the empire. I think that’s mainly to get back at Rainbow Dash for napping in the barn last week. She’ll just release Pinkie on the world with a vuvuzela on steroids. 

As for me, the symposium didn’t start until one, so I had the morning to go wandering around. I planned to visit the palace and see the Crystal Heart up close for myself. Even here in the hotel, I could feel the powerful magic reverberating in the air around me, keeping the uncontrollable weather out. I also wouldn’t mind seeing the palace gardens. Cadence had had it all planted as a tribute to all those who suffered during Sombra’s brief but horrific reign. After the symposium was finished, I’d meet with Applejack, and catch the night train back home, getting there the following morning. 





I spent a couple hours with Applejack. It was nice just to have some time to ourselves, and put any thoughts about the farm or work to one side, and just be a couple for a change. We may not always be the most romantic pair, but, as my darker half showed during Twilight’s experiment, I care for her deeply, and she me. 

Eventually though, the two of us temporarily parted, with AJ heading for the market, and I for the palace. Following the main road, I soon found myself standing before the Eiffel tower like building that was home to Princess Cadence, Prince Shining Armor, and little Flurry Heart. Instead of heading inside the castle though (which is something you can do, with the building being a tourist attraction as well as the seat of government), I turned left and followed a path before finding myself in the gardens. 

The gardens of Canterlot Castle are an impressive sight, almost being a nature reserve unto itself. But it faced staunch competition from the Crystal gardens. The place glistened not with dew, but due to the crystal lattices that made up so much of the flora. It was like looking at a field of Tiberium. I found myself wandering rather aimlessly, until I realised that I was not alone. 

Naturally, in such a well kept garden, you’d expect gardeners. But I was surprised to find an undisguised changeling, dressed in a gardeners uniform, pulling away at some weeds. He was clearly an older changeling; the multicoloured carapace and chitin was slightly dulled and wrinkled, but he wasn’t elderly by any stretch of the imagination. He was presently pulling out some sort of weeds with his hooves. On one eye he wore a black eyepatch. As I walked up, he looked up and I saw surprise flash across his face for a moment. 

“Damn weeds,” he said, turning to me again. “They choke the vines. The poor plants don’t have a chance to grow.” I took a look for myself at the fine black vines that were ensnaring the crystal plants. 

“Ya should try a herbicide or magic repellant, stead of pulling em out by hoof,” I suggested. The changeling gardener waved a hoof. 

“These things are too delicate,” he replied gruffly. I decided to do my good deed for the day; I had a couple hours before I needed to head inside. 

“Well, let me give ya a hoof then,” I offered, activating my magic and pulling away at a couple weeds. The changeling smiled. 

“You know much about plants, do you, rook?” He asked. 

“Sure,” I replied. “Ah live on an apple farm in Equestria; gave me a bit of an interest in gardenin’.” The two of us steadily began to remove the weeds, placing them in a small pile of the adjacent path. 

“Ah gotta say, Ah’m surprised to see a changeling workin’ up this way. Ah thought all you folks were back in the hive now Chrysalis is gone.” The changeling shrugged. 

“Well, not of all us want to go back there,” he replied. “Some of us burned our bridges during the queen’s time.” I nodded.

“Yeah, a friend of mine found himself in the same predicament,” I said. 

“What did he do about it?” the gardener asked, pulling a few more weeds up. I shrugged my shoulders.

“Nothin’,” I answered. “Feller stayed disguised til the day he passed. Took his secret with him.”

“Well,” said the gardener. “He probably didn’t fancy telling the whole of the Royal Guard that he’d been deceiving them for almost twenty years.” I nodded.

“Ain’t that the truth.”

At that moment, I realised what he’d just said and jumped up with a shock. 

“Now just wait an apple pickin’ minute!” I exclaimed, briefly charging up my horn. “Ah never said nothin’ to ya ‘bout my friend! How d’ya know all that? What, did you know him or somethin?” The gardener smiled and got to his hooves. 

“Well of course I know him, rook. He’s me.”

And with that, much to my amazement and surprise, green fire washed over the changeling’s form. As it receded, I found myself standing face to face with my old friend; a blue coated, eyepatch wearing unicorn. 

“Strong Shield?!” I exclaimed. “But...but…” The old guard let out a laugh at my expense. 

“Alright, rookie,” he said with a smile. “I’ll make it simple for you. I wanted to stop living a lie. I couldn’t bring myself to just drop my disguise and reveal myself. And simply retiring would still mean at some point revealing that Strong Shield never existed. So I went to your father for help. And with some assistance from the princesses, I faked my death. You were weeping over sandbags.”

For the first time in a very long time, I found myself rendered utterly speechless. Here was my friend, previously thought dead, now alive before me. The stallion who had taught me so much, and who I missed dearly. There was only one thing to do. 

I got him square on the jaw with a good right hook. Caught unprepared, he went sprawling on the ground. 

“Ya could’ve told me!” I said crossly, nursing my now sore hoof. The old guard shook himself before he got back up, none the worse for wear. He dropped his disguise again, returning to his natural form. 

“I was planning on it,” he replied, rubbing his jaw with a hoof. “I just needed to get myself set up first, and then I was going to write you. What are you doing up here anyway?”

“Ah’m attendin that symposium in the palace,” I explained. “‘Jack’s with me too.” I shook my head, trying to collect my thoughts. “So who else was in on this?”

“Just your old man and the princess,” he replied. “And I’d like it to stay that way.”

“But what about Shining and Twilight?” I pointed out. “They know your true nature.” He nodded, going back to pulling weeds with his hooves.

“And they also shared in my lie. Think about it, rook. How would ponies react if they knew they’d sheltered a changeling that actively took part in the attack on Canterlot?” He raised a good point. 

“So what are you doing now then?” He laughed again.

“What does it look like?” he asked. “Your old man helped me get a job as a gardener here. I’ve been here about a month or so now.”

“Well, it’s good to know you’re still with us, cap,” I said, before catching myself. “Actually, what should I call you now anyway?”

“Oh, you can keep on calling me captain, rookie,” he replied with a grin. “But your Dad helped me get a new identity. I didn’t fancy using my original name. If anypony else is around, you call me Pliskin.” I resisted the urge to laugh. 

At that moment, I heard a bell chime somewhere in the city. It was time to head into the palace. It would be hard to stay focussed now though. I hadn’t been this happy in ages. The melancholy I’d felt at the loss of my friend was lifted.

I explained to Strong Shield, or rather, to Pliskin, that I had to go. He promised he would write to me some time later this week so we could keep in touch. 

And so, with that absolute loop under my belt, I headed into the palace to talk magic. 





The Crystal Palace (not to be confused the British Empire exhibition venue of the same name) was already full to bursting by the time I arrived. As AJ had said, it had drawn ponies from all walks of life, from respected scholars, to amateurs such as myself. There were several seminars planned for the event, according to the schedule posted out front. And the one I was most interested in was on the Crystal Heart itself. This seminar was to be given by Sunburst.

Following the crowd, I soon found myself in the large amphitheatre, which sort of reminded me of my university days. I managed to get a seat relatively near the front and spent a couple minutes chatting with my new cohorts. On my left was a bookstore owner from Baltimare, who had an interest in crystal magic and had made it into something of a pet project for himself, just as I had done with some elements of dark magic. And on my right was a research professor from Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns in Canterlot. 

The three of us spent some time talking amongst ourselves before the seminar opened. We all had our own theories and ideas about what Sunburst might be proposing. Before we could come to much of an accord however, the show began.

Now, I’m not too sure where I go from here. I’ve been studying magic for a few years now. With help from Twilight, I have a fairly good grasp of applied magical theory, more than a fair share of unicorns at any rate. But when writing for someone who doesn’t know what magic feels like...it can be quite difficult to describe. Imagine trying to describe small to someone who has no nose, and then explain the intricacies of how scent affects our perception of the world. Not to sound pretentious or anything, but I’m not sure I can give you much of a summary without giving a long series of lectures beforehoof. 

So, to cut a long story short, the seminar offered some very interesting theories that led to more than its fair share of debates. I was certainly impressed by Sunburst’s knowledge. His approach, while unorthodox, was also quite practical and seemed more than possible to achieve. I actually found myself asking why I hadn’t thought along those lines before. Now I guess I know how Twilight felt when I pitched my anti-draining spell to her. 

The highlight of the day though, was toward the end. We all had fairly frequent breaks for coffee and to talk amongst ourselves. This gave me an opportunity to approach Sunburst and introduce myself. 

Physically, the stallion reminded me a lot of myself, my human self. I might not have the goatee beard, but when I still walked on two legs, I wore spectacles not too dissimilar to his own. He was, while knowledgeable, just as socially awkward as I used to be. And like me, prior to his current position as Royal Crystaller, he had found himself directionless in life. 

So, while we were having a tea break, I trotted over and introduced myself. 

“‘Scuse me, Sunburst?” I said, walking up to the stallion. He turned round to me, and I found that we're about eye level with one another. 

“Yes?” he asked, sounding a little nervous. I could tell that hosting this whole palaver was a bit of a strain on him. I reached out to shake his hoof. 

“My name’s Blade Star,” I said, introducing myself. “Ah’m a friend of Princess Twilight.” He brightened up at that and shook my hoof. 

“Oh right,” he said, now smiling. “Twilight told me that she’d been tutoring somepony.” I didn’t know how much she’d told him, and as I was in public, I decided to keep quiet about everything else. 

“Ah was very impressed with your theory in there,” I said with a nod. “Your idea of incorporatin the crystal lattices into a high level resonance field is truly remarkable.” Sunburst smiled.

“Well thank you, Blade Star,” he replied. “I just hope that we can turn it from a working theory into a working fact. There’s still a way to go until we can even consider a physical experiment.” I nodded in agreement.

“I was struck by something you said though,” I answered. “Earlier you were sayin how you couldn’t replicate the emotional connection to the actual crystal structure. Ah don’t s’pose ya considered following the changeling love absorption model; wouldn’t that allow the crystal to attune itself to the local magical environment.” Sunburst smiled as his eyes went wide. 





With that, the pair of us really hit it off. Don’t get me wrong, I can talk magic with Twilight or Starlight until the cows come home. But Sunburst...it was almost like talking to myself. I may look like my old OC, but there’s little in common with how I used to look as a human. Sunburst though, he looked more like my old self ponified. 

It honestly was like I was talking with somepony on exactly the same wavelength. Maybe this is an example of the Doppelganger Syndrome you read about? In any case, we spent the next hour or so talking magic. I also explained how I was native to Ponyville, and how I knew the other Elements and had kept abreast of their adventures. 

Sunburst too was glad to have another friend. Another thing we had in common was how he had previously, and still occasionally did, wall himself off from the rest of the world, getting caught up in his own hobbies. I can see why Twilight liked him too; she’s just as bad sometimes, only she has Spike to drag her out of the castle. 

By the end, we’d swapped contact info with each other, and he’d promised to write both myself and Twilight, to keep us updated on the progress of his idea. I was glad for the chance to expand my circle of friends. To think, in one day I’d not only discovered an old friend I thought to be dead, but also made a new one. That’s a good application of friendship if you ask me. 





After departing, I met up with Applejack. She’d spent some time picking out the best produce that was likely to thrive in Ponyville’s warmer climate. She now had a sizeable load of crystal berries, still on the vine, ready to be replanted. 

With both our tasks complete, the two of us headed back to the train station. It was early evening by now, and I was looking forward to a nice, relaxing train ride with my marefriend. 

I had quite the story to tell her though first. Best get her to Pinkie Promise though, just to be safe.
> Chapter 12 - Books
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Magic serves many purposes in the world, beyond simply allowing a unicorn to levitate a trinket or two. It is above all else a tool of knowledge. As a wise alicorn once told me; an honourable pony uses their magic for knowledge and defence, never attack. I’d devoted a great deal of my time to studying the defensive aspects of magic. I’d learnt spells that could shield me from harm, developed spells that could counter other magic. I’d even taken the time to create a devastating counter strike against another species. Whatever else you may say about FOXDIE, it was never intended as a first strike weapon. It was always a desperate fall back option. 

But aside from a few minor odds and ends, I hadn’t really done that much on the knowledge front. I’d somewhat halted my studies into understanding dark magic, due to the dangers it posed to me and my friends. Apart from that, I’d not done much beyond what Twilight taught me. I knew about teleportation, levitation, transfiguration, etc. But most of those were beyond my abilities, or at the very least stretched them greatly, making them impossible to use every day. 

Still, lack of power does not stop you from learning, as Sunburst had shown us in the Crystal Empire. He didn’t have the magical power of Twilight or Starlight, but he had the mind to understand complex spells, modify them, and even create new ones. I like to think that I fall into that same school of thought. 

It was getting on into winter now. The first frost had come and gone, and we were expecting snow before too long as well. That meant that life on the farm was beginning to wind down. Winter is when everything takes a rest for a couple months, including ponies. Even with the three of us working, with Apple Bloom helping every now and then, the pace of farm work does take its toll. Now though, that was slowing for a bit. The apple trees were now bare of fruit or leaves. All the crops had been harvested. We had plenty of hay to see the cattle and sheep through to Spring. And we had more than enough produce, particularly cider and zap apple jam, to see us through the long cold. 

The reduction in work meant that I had more time on my hooves. In the spring and summer, chances to engage in a big project were few and far between. My attempts to find a counter to the Siphon spell alone took three months of steady work; a few hours each week. Now though, I had all the time in the world to curl up in front of the warm fire, and jot away in my notebook to my heart’s content. 

And of course, there was the other passion in my life. With less work to keep us busy, Applejack and I could afford to spend more quality time together, not just working in the orchards or chatting together at the stall. We could go for walks out in the snow, spend some time with Twilight and the others, even maybe convince Luna to link our dreams again and go on a little getaway. 

I had plans in place for the latter, as for the former though, I found myself lacking direction. When I find a spell or lack thereof that interests me, I will throw myself mind, body and soul into the problem, and I won’t move to something new until it is solved. But most of those problems had been, again, of a more combative nature. I just wanted to learn new spells for the sake of learning. Heck, I found myself checking my cutie mark every now and then to see if Twilight’s map was summoning me to go on some friendship quest. I honestly would love that; a chance to see how much I’ve learned since I first came here. 

I found myself that night, staring at the ceiling of my room, willing sleep to come. But it would not, my mind kept whirring away. I was bored, to cut a long story short. While the break from farm work is nice, it’s no fun just sitting on your rump all day looking out at the snow. 

Getting up, I headed downstairs and made myself a drink. Hot milk; if I remember correctly, there’s supposed to be some sort of chemical in it that helps the suckling calf fall back to sleep. It does work on ponies as well, although it takes time to kick in. I looked at the clock in the kitchen; it was just after two in the morning. Well, I was planning on having a lie in anyway. 

Heading back upstairs to my room, I sought refuge in a good book to try and help me doze off. My small collection is quite the mixed bag, everything from textbooks on ancient pegasi military tactics, to magazines relating to magical science, and even the odd Daring Do novel. And of course, there were some human books as well, mostly fiction. My eye settled upon a collection of Conan Doyle’s detective stories. Levitating it out of the bookcase, I opened it to a random passage. It was an early chapter from ‘The Sign of Four’. The text struck a chord with me. 



“My mind," he said, "rebels at stagnation. Give me problems, give me work, give me the most abstruse cryptogram or the most intricate analysis, and I am in my own proper atmosphere. I can dispense then with artificial stimulants. But I abhor the dull routine of existence. I crave for mental exaltation. That is why I have chosen my own particular profession, or rather created it, for I am the only one in the world.”



It was then that the idea came to me. Books! Twilight had been telling me a while back about some clever method she’d come across for reading texts more easily. The spell allowed her to actually enter the book, appearing physically on its page. In non-fiction, this spell allowed her to absorb the knowledge the author wished to impart more easily. But surely it could be applied to fiction as well. In theory, you could actually live out the story. It would be like a dream or a holodeck!

Unfortunately, that was when the melatonin kicked in. My eyes suddenly became heavy, my thoughts slowed to a crawl and I found myself softly falling onto my soft pillow. 

A moment later, and I was fast asleep. 





The following morning saw me once again at Twilight’s castle, with my saddlebags filled with my favourite stories. I didn’t have much to do today. Applejack had gone on a camping trip with Rainbow and Rarity, along with the Crusaders for the day, while Mac, along with Spike and Discord, were having a few rounds of O&O in the barn. That left me some free time on my hooves to put my idea before Twilight. 

Heading through the open door, something I really wish Twilight would stop doing, given what happened a few months back you’d think she’d learn to lock the front door at least, I found Twilight in her library. She was busy reorganising, reshelving, or whatever it is that that slightly off alicorn princess calls fun. At present about a dozen large, heavy volumes of forgotten lore were floating above her head, flittering from shelf to shelf like anxious birds as she tried to decide where to place them. 

“Mornin’, Twilight,” I called out, startling her and causing a couple books to crash into each other as she lost concentration. I grimaced as a couple fell to the floor.

“Sorry,” I said sheepishly. Twilight smiled and reactivated her magic, putting the tomes back in their rightful place. 

“It’s alright, Blade Star; no harm done,” Twilight replied. “What can I do for you?” I decided to not waste the mare’s time and got straight to the point.

“Ah wanted to ask ya ‘bout Haycartes’ Method,” I said. The alicorn’s eyebrows went up in surprise. “Ah wanted to know if you could use it on fictional books or not, and what the effect was.” Twilight thought.

“Well,” she said. “When I used it on one of Rarity’s Shadow Spade books, the spell allowed me to almost instantly read the story; like it was already familiar to me.”

I frowned at that. That didn’t sound like what I’d imagined. It seemed like my hopes of living in a book were to be dashed. Twilight evidently saw my crestfallen look, for her expression suddenly became one of concern. 

“What’s the matter, Blade Star?” she asked. “Did you want to try it out?” I nodded.

“Well, yeah, Twilight,” I replied. “Ah was gonna ask ya to teach me the spell, if Ah could do it. But Ah thought that the spell might let you actually experience the book; like ya were really in it.” Twilight smiled. At this point, Applejack would no doubt have said to me ‘bless your heart’. I felt decidedly daft, and was reminded that I’m just an amateur. 

“Sorry, Blade Star,” she said with a reassuring smile. “The spell just doesn’t work that way.” It was then however, we were interrupted.

“True,” a new voice said. “However, I believe I may be able to lend assistance to such an endeavour.” I turned around in surprise, instantly recognising the voice. 

“Luna!” I exclaimed in delight as the Princess of the Night stood before me. “What brings y’all down this way?” The lunar diarch explained. 

“Twilight Sparkle wished to examine a few texts from our old castle,” she said. “I took the liberty of going myself to fetch them. A prudent decision in light of what happened the last time she and her friends broke into my former home.”

She was, of course, being sarcastic, and made Twilight smile and blush adorably. She did have something of a point though. The last time any of Twilight’s friends went there, we ended up with a still as yet unexplained bout of dark magic, which turned half of Ponyville to crystal. And before that, there was the rather Scooby Doo-esque adventure when all six of them went to the castle, and ‘borrowed’ the two sisters’ journal. Luna then turned back to me. 

“But your idea of ‘entering’ a book to live out the story sounds most interesting. And as I’m sure you know, such things are possible.” Twilight nodded in agreement.

“That’s true,” she said. “That Power Ponies comic Spike had, had an enchantment on it that caused us to end up inside the story as the characters.”

“Well, could you apply somethin’ like that to any old book?” I asked hopefully, quietly kicking myself for forgetting the Power Ponies episode. Twilight thought, putting a hoof to her chin and humming. 

“It would take some work,” she said after a minute or two. “But in theory, I could weave the enchantment into the books. Of course, I’d add an escape spell as well, just so we can leave when we want.” 

“A sensible precaution, Twilight,” Luna commented. She thought for a moment. “Blade Star, you have come here to further your knowledge of magic, have you not? Perhaps we can pass this little project to Twilight and I might teach you dear Rene’s unique method.”

I leapt at that! Luna, offering to teach me magic? The last time we’d done that had been years back, when she’d first helped me get to grips with your basic telekinesis spell. It was a kind gesture, particularly when you consider all the work that mare has to do. Now though, here she was offering to teach me again.

“Ah...Ah’m honoured, your highness,” I said excitedly, bobbing my head as I accepted her offer. The alicorn smiled at my unsuppressed glee. Twilight meanwhile, also having agreed, took a copy of one of my Sherlock Holmes books and set to work. Luna and I went back to where the map was. 





Well, this was a pleasant surprise. I’d not even considered the possibility that Luna would be here. Normally at this time of the day she’d be resting up anyway. She does a lot to keep with everypony else’s, to her, reversed sleeping schedule. And here she was, out of the kindness of her heart, teaching me magic. I honestly find myself wondering what it is that garnered her interest way back then. It was nice enough to meet her, but at the time, I never expected that we’d become friends as we have. 

Still, I suppose I should avoid putting her on too much of a pedestal. I know for a fact that that is partially what caused me to take the unpleasant actions that I did in the aftermath of the second incursion. I created FOXDIE in a misguided attempt to protect her and her sister from harm. I know she much prefers it if I treat her as just a pony, to borrow a line from Coloratura’s new single. 

The pair of us sat down at the map, with me taking AJ’s chair and Luna taking Twilight’s. The alicorn had brought with her a couple of texts from Twilight’s library. She now laid these out on the table. 

“Now, young Blade Star,” she began. “Haycartes’ Method is not a necessarily difficult spell to learn. The difficulty lies in focussing the mind to keep the spell active as the knowledge of a book washes over you. Even Twilight or myself can only hold this spell for a few minutes at a time before we must rest. So do not trouble yourself if, at first, you can only hold the spell for a few moments.”

With that, Luna activated her magic and seemingly vanished into the open book, which if I remember correctly was a copy of a text covering the use of portal magic; an interesting alternative to the trying task of long range teleportation, which is something only the most powerful unicorns and alicorns can accomplish. A moment later, she reappeared on the page, in a curious, angular shaped design that matched that of surrounding images in the text. It was a little unsettling to see a picture move so, and then look directly at me. 

“From here, Blade Star,” she continued, perfectly audibly. “You can see out of the book to the surrounding world. I find it useful to cast a detection spell before I do this, to alert me if someone comes close so as to avoid being startled. You’d be surprised how much you can get lost in a good book. 

“At present, the spell is allowing me to experience the text from within. I’ve already passed through five chapters on theoretical application in the time we’ve been speaking. There are two ways to leave, either let your concentration waver, and the spell will collapse, ejecting you, or you can use the reversal.”

She did the latter now. Her inky horn glowed and a moment later, she vanished from the page, reappearing at full size next to me, just as she had been before.

“There we are,” she said with a smile. “The spell is not that difficult, concentrating on it however is. Why don’t you have a try, Blade Star?”

So I did. Taking a look at the notations in the text, I formed the spell that Haycartes had devised. It was, as Luna had said, remarkably simple; no more difficult than any other common spell I’d encountered. However, I knew it would be difficult to maintain it for long. Activating the spell, I felt magic swirl around me as my body became non corporeal. The last time I’d felt like this was when I was experimenting with shadow spells; a form of dark magic. My vision went white for a moment before things stabilised. And I found myself in an unusual situation. 

I can’t quite describe it. I’ve been in a non-corporeal form before. When I met up with Luna in the dreamscape, there was a reduced sense of reality. But here...here was different. It was as if I was somewhere and yet wasn’t there, like I was in two places at once, and at the same time in neither. I could see the world outside the book. In front of me was the now seemingly giant Luna, who watched me with interest. Looking down at myself, I found that I too had taken on an more inky form. 

That wasn’t the half of it though. Again, you’ll have to bear with me as I try to describe what I experienced. But it was so far outside my normal perception, that it is difficult to put it into words. I could...feel the words on the page, they hovered in the air around me, going to and fro. And even if they hadn’t been visible, I could feel them around me. I was surrounded in this strange place. 

But it was a sensory overload. I could feel the knowledge all around me, even passing through me. I could feel everything and yet nothing, I had a form and yet felt formless. Try as I might, I just couldn’t focus on anything. It was like being in a room full of people, all talking at once. 

With that, my concentration gave out. My vision went white again, and a moment later, I found myself standing, unsteadily, in front of Princess Luna. Seeing my state, the dark alicorn wrapped a wing around me to keep me on my hooves. As I rediscovered my limbs, she smiled. 

“Impressive, Blade Star,” she said. “Almost ten seconds on your first attempt.”

As for me, the world hadn’t yet slid back into focus. I was still readjusting to getting my information through my senses again. Still, at least I managed to avoid looking too daft, as the only thing I could come out with was:

“Fascinating.”

Luckily, a minute or two later and I was back to my normal self again. I’d been able to successfully manifest the spell for about eight point five seconds. And as a result, I now had a surprising amount of knowledge on portal magic. It was actually quite a bit easier than teleporting, and the transition was a lot less jarring I found. Plus, you look cool as hell walking out of a tear in the fabric of space time that you made with your own horn. 

With Luna’s help, I began to work on perfecting the technique. The key to Haycartes’ Method i, as I’ve already said, is concentration. And it takes a lot of effort to filter out the sensory overload around you in a book and focus on maintaining the spell. In the end, I managed at one point to keep the spell active for just over four minutes. I was tired by the end of it, but also quite pleased with myself. Luna seemed delighted too. 

“Excellent work, Blade Star,” she commended me. “You certainly have come a long way from the young colt who could barely manifest a levitation spell.” I smiled at that and offered a brief bow. 

“Only because ah’ve had the privilege of havin’ two excellent teachers,” I replied. And that was true. Who else could say they were taught about magic by not only Twilight Sparkle, but also Princess Luna herself?  

“Speaking of my fellow princess,” Luna went on. “Perhaps she will have completed the spell on your novel by now.”

And so the two of us went to see how Twilight was getting on.





Returning to the library, we found that Twilight had indeed completed the odd enchantment on my book. According to her, any time somepony opened it, the enchantment would activate, pulling all those nearby into the text. Those involved could then complete the story, or depart at their leisure by connecting their magic to the enchantment and reversing the mana flow. 

I was keen to try it for myself, and Twilight was keen to take part in a classic detective story, particularly one that was from another world and which she had never read. That just left Luna. 

“Do you want to join us, Luna?” Twilight asked her fellow princess. The darker alicorn thought for a moment. 

“Well, I had promised my dear sister that I would return as soon as I could to aid her in the ongoing trade negotiations with Yakyakistan.” My heart sank at her appart no. “But on the other hoof, as a princess, I believe I am entitled to choose my own hours. So I shall join you.” I resisted the urge to squee at that. It had been ages since I’d spent time with Luna. 

Twilight opened the book that sat upon the table. It was a copy of The Adventures of Sherlock Holmes’; the first set of short stories published after ‘A Study in Scarlet’ and ‘The Sign of Four’. As soon as she did so, the spell activated. The book became a portal to the fictional world, and we all found ourselves pulled inside by some unseen force, the book closing shut behind us. 





Coming to again, I found myself in a place I was well familiar with. I was standing in a large, comfortable looking sitting room. It was late in the evening, judging by the darkness outside, and the roaring fire in the fireplace. There were a couple of sofas, mostly covered with papers and odds and ends from a chemistry set. Books were scattered about the place too, in an extremely untidy fashion. 

Looking about, I picked out certain details. Above the mantelpiece, there was a stack of unopened letters held in place by a dagger, which had been thrust into the wall. The coal scuttle next to the fireplace held a number of cigars, rather than kindling. In front of one of the armchairs, I saw a Persian slipper, no doubt with tobacco stuffed into the toe. And on the far wall, apparently in bullet holes, were the V.R; Victoria Regina. On one of the tables, there sat an expensive looking violin, and on another there was both a meerschaum pipe and and a glass syringe, presumably containing a seven percent solution. 

All in all, it was a perfect recreation of 221B Baker Street; home of the worlds best and only unofficial consulting detective, Sherlock Holmes. 

I took a look at myself. I was still a pony, thank goodness, but my attire had changed noticeably. I now found myself wearing a well cut suit and waistcoat, modified of course to suit a pony. 

I wasn’t alone here though, a quick glance around showed that Twilight had joined me on this little adventure. And judging by the attire, she was filling the part of John Watson, something she would no doubt be slightly irritated by. Of Luna however, there was no sign. I wondered to myself which character she would be portraying. First things first, I needed to find out which story I was in, and hope it wasn’t ‘The Final Problem’. 

Turning to Twilight, I quickly introduced her to the world we were in. She knew a fair bit from Equestria’s own version. The mare even has her own deerstalker somewhere. And I can tell you she was not best pleased about her assigned role. I did my best to offer some sympathy. 

“Twilight,” I said with a smile. “As Ah recall, Watson always had the last word.” That perked her up a bit. 

The two of us looked around the room for a couple of minutes until Twilight came upon a note, sitting on a coffee table. It was a piece of pink tinted notepaper, which instantly let me know where I was. I stepped into my role, changing my accent away from my usual southern twang, to a that of a more refined English gentleman. 

“You might be interested in that,” I said to Twilight. “It came by the last post.” Squinting a moment, Twilight translated the English letters in her head and read the note aloud. 

“There will call upon you tonight a quarter to eight o’clock a gentleman who desires to consult you on a matter of the very deepest moment. Your recent service to ne of the royal houses of Europe have shown that you are one who may be safely trust with matters which are of an importance which can hardly be exaggerated. This account of you we have from all quarters received. Be in your chambers then at that hour, and do not take it amiss if your visitor wear a mask.”

“Well, what do you think of that, Twilight?” The alicorn frowned. 

“I’m not sure,” she replied. “There’s no date, signature or address. It must be expensive though, the paper is peculiarly strong and stiff, kind of like the parchment Princess Celestia uses.”

“Peculiar,” I repeated, pointing at her with a hoof from my armchair. “That is the very word. It is not an English paper at all. Hold it up to the light.” Twilight did so, revealing a watermark of ‘EPGt’.

“This must be the maker’s mark,” Twilight declared. I nodded in agreement. 

“You’re right,” I replied, recalling the story in my head. “The G with a small T stands for gesellschaft, which is German for company. P must stand for papier. As to the E…”

Using my magic, I levitated down to me a large volume, one of possibly a hundred or so that were scattered about the shelves and throughout the room. 

“Let’s take a look at the continental gazzettier. Eglow, Eglontiz, ah Egria! A town in the German speaking area of Bohemia, not far from Carlsbad. Noted for its many glass factories and paper mills.”

“And the pony writing this must be German too, or Griffon at least,” Twilight added. 

“Oh, why do you say that?” I asked, holding back a smile as the alicorn headed me off at the pass. 

“The way they write,” Twilight explained. “In Griffon language, which is similar to German if I understand it correctly, verbs often come at the end of the sentence. So whoever wrote this translated it from their own language, hence the odd construction of the sentence ‘This account of you we have from all quarters received’.”

“Impressive, Twilight,” I said. “You’d certainly give Sherlock a run for his money.” The alicorn blushed at that. 





And so the story continued, pretty much as Conan Doyle wrote. I, in the guise of Holmes, met with Count von Kramm, in actuality the hereditary King of Bohemia. Twilight and I learned of the blackmail he was facing at the hands of one Irene Adler by means of a photograph. In a rather foolish move, he had had his photo taken with her, in those days showing a clear romantic involvement. This complicated his imminent marriage to the second daughter of the King of Scandinavia. Adler had written to him and threatened to ruin him if he went ahead with the marriage. My role was to retrieve said photograph, thereby taking away her leverage. 

It was in the course of that endeavour, that I found myself running into Luna twice, both times so well disguised as to fool even a changeling. In a way, I suppose it was appropriate that she take on the role. There are some similarities between my relationship to her and Holmes’ relationship to Adler, not love or anything like that, more a sense of mutual admiration and respect. Twilight summed it up quite well, in her part as Watson, writing up the events of the story. 

“To my friend Blade Star,” she said, writing as she did so. “She is always the princess. I’ve seldom heard him mention her by any other name. In his eyes she eclipses and predominates the entire concept of royalty. It was not that he felt any emotion akin to love for Princess Luna. All emotions, and that one in particular, were abhorrent to his precise yet admirably balanced mind. He rarely spoke of the softer passions, except with a gibe and a sneer. For a trained reasoner to admit such intrusions into his own finely adjusted temperament was to introduce a distracting factor that might affect all his mental results. And yet there was but one princess to him. And that was the Princess Luna, of dubious and questionable memory.”

Following the story of course, it all came unstuck for me in the end, despite some clever deceptions, as Luna’s character fled England, never to return. She did however, leave a note, promising to no longer interfere in the affairs of her old flame. She also left a rather striking photograph of herself in evening dress as a parting gift. 

With the story done, the spell returned us back to the real world. We found ourselves back together next to one of the tables in the library, the book now lying open on it. The force of our ejection left two of us sprawled on the floor. Only Luna, serene and refined as ever, remained unruffled and stood calmly next to the two of us as we got back to our hooves. 

“A fascinating story, young Blade Star,” she declared, smiling down at me. “And had your father not told me of the ending some months ago, your deception would have taken me in completely. Although I do think it was a bit unkind to disguise yourself as a pony of faith.”

“Ah, so that’s how you knew where the story was goin’,” I replied, falling naturally back into my normal accent and pattern of speech.

“Yes, your father told my sister and I about your love of mystery stories. Perhaps next time I find myself paying call on Twilight Sparkle, you can step into the shoes of Philip Marlowe?” she suggested. That idea certainly appealed to me, although I think that story might be a bit too dark for Twilight. 

With a few more parting words, Luna took her leave and headed back to Canterlot, disappearing in a teleport after she’d flown a short distance. That left me and Twilight. 

“Well, Twilight, Ah s’pose Ah’d best be headin’ home too,” I said. “Thanks for helpin’ out today. Ah hope ya enjoyed the story in any case.”

“I certainly did, Blade Star,” she replied. “Although I hope next time I’ll get to play lead, instead of a sidekick.” Smiling, I switched back to my English accent. 

“Now really, Twilight. I am lost without my Boswell.” That made her chuckle. 

I was about to head back home when a thought occurred to me. I’d spent most of the morning learning and using Haycartes’ Method. I now knew everything there was to know about portal magic, I’d even tried it successfully. 

Teleports were difficult, both in terms of the magic needed to power them, and the skill needed so you didn’t rematerialise inside solid rock. This portal magic on the other hoof…

Bidding goodbye to Twilight, I activated my magic and focused on creating a portal, fixing the exit point in the kitchen back at the farmhouse. A swirling blue portal opened in front of me. With some trepidation, I stepped through. And to my amazement, a moment later, I found myself no longer in the library. 

However, while I wasn’t in the library, I also wasn’t in the farmhouse either. Evidently, while I’d gotten the basics of a portal spell down, my accuracy still needed work. 

Still, I couldn’t be that far off the mark, now could I? I took a look around to try and determine where I was. The dark canopy, creeping vines and general feeling of unease quickly told me that I was in the Everfree Forest, somewhat close to the border. It wasn’t that bad then. You could see the Everfree from the farm. Come Zap Apple Season, we’d hear the timberwolves howling in there, telling us that it was nearly time for the harvest. 

Slightly annoyed that I’d not been successful in my attempt, I started walking towards the boundary of the forest. Once I was back on the farm, it would be easy enough to find a landmark and use that to make my way home. I’d only taken a few steps though before I noticed something. 

I was standing in a patch of flowers.

Blue flowers.

In the Everfree.

There was only one thing to say. 

“Cock.”   
> Chapter 13 - Human Again
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, I was going to spend the rest of the afternoon helping Apple Bloom with her homework. I’d had a busy enough day and was looking forward to relaxing and spending the evening at home with AJ. Now though, I found myself launched into a world of issues. 

Due to a touch of overconfidence on my part, I had found myself completely contaminated by Poison Joke. I had to walk at least twenty yards just to get out of them, so I was entirely certain that I was contaminated. That meant by tomorrow morning, those annoyingly happy looking flowers would have done their work and somehow changed me. 

What that something was, I had no idea. I’m not much of a botanist, nor do I claim to know too much about Poison Joke. It’s effects were seemingly random, and virtually impossible to predict. Twilight had had her horn get covered in polkadots and turn floppy in a joke I’m amazed got by Hasbro execs, Rainbow had had her wings inverted, Pinkie’s tongue had swelled up, Applejack had shrunken, Fluttershy’s voice had dropped to a baritone and Rarity’s mane had gone absolutely haywire. None of the effects were harmful or caused pain; they were more an annoyance than anything else, but I was still concerned. 

It could all be undone easily enough of course. It would just be a simple case of visiting Zecora and having her make up the necessary potion for me to soak in. That would cure the effects in an instant. Tomorrow morning though probably wouldn’t be too much fun.

You see, one thing I like to have, is a plan. My life revolves around knowing what I’m going to do and when. Like Twilight, I thrive on a schedule. Uncertainty is by far my worst enemy. And that was what I was facing now. I was actually quite scared. In a way I guess it’s funny. I’ve faced down a vile changeling queen, fought my own inner demons, and even took a pot shot at a magic stealing centaur. But in all of those cases, I had at least a rough idea of what I was doing. Now though, that was going to be turned on its head. 

Walking out of the patch of light blue plants, I began to head for the edge of the forest. From there, I could work out where I’d stupidly portalled myself and find my way back to the farm. From there, I could tell AJ what had happened, and together we could work out a way to get me to Zecora’s if I couldn’t get there under my own steam. 

See, a plan. I was much calmer now. In fact, my fear was being countered by curiosity. What would the Poison Joke do to me? While, as I said, there’s no way to predict it, from the Mane Six’ case, you could see some patterns. My main concern was that it would do something to my magic or, Celestia forbid, my gender. 

Still, as inconvenient as this all was, it was perfectly fixable; just a bump in the road. 

That bump however, decided that it wanted to become a giant pothole.

As I continued to trek through the forest, I started chatting to myself, a habit I’ve been trying to break for years. Whenever I’m on my own, I tend to natter to myself. So far, myself hasn’t said anything back, so I figure I’m okay.  

“Alright,” I was saying to myself. “Just get back to the farm and go see Zecora in the mornin’. She’ll be able to undo whatever the hay happens to ya.”

“That’s rather optimistic, don’t you think?” a voice replied. 

I started and looked around in fright. For a moment I feared my sanity finally had snapped and I’d developed an alternate personality. Well, that or that personality spell had somehow activated. I wonder if he listens when I talk to myself? 

Looking around, there was nopony in sight, at least not at first. A moment later though, there was a bright flash of white light, and a whole other problem rose up as Discord appeared before me. 

It never rains, but it pours. I resisted the urge to slam my head against my hoof. The spirit of chaos stopped hovering in the air after a moment and walked over to me. 

“Bones, my dear boy!” he exclaimed, grabbing me up in a hug. “How wonderful to see you again!” I was in no mood

“Discord! Let me go dagnabbit!” I exclaimed, struggling vainly in his grip. Luckily, after a few moments enjoying me struggling, the draconequus obliged.  

“What the hay are you doin’ out here anyway?” I asked, dusting myself off and readjusting my hat. 

“Why I love frolicking in the woods,” Discord replied, briefly taking on a deeply unsettling flower costume, throwing pink petals all around. “And I positively adore these marvelous little things.” He poked and prodded at one of the blue flowers that was presently the subject of my ire. 

“Ah s’pose you had somethin’ to do with my portal materialisin’ me all the way out here then?” I asked. Discord looked perplexed.

“Portal?” he parroted. “Really, Bones, you shouldn’t use those things. Portals are only used by asinine racist morons like...oh, wait, you’re not supposed to know about him yet.” He paused as he tried to get back on his train of thought. “In any case, I didn't do anything to mess with your magic. Honestly, Blade Star, I’d have thought by now that Princess Dark and Edgy would have made her point by now. The universe does not revolve around you!”

I snarled at that particular name he chose to refer to Luna by. Discord of course, didn’t care. He did however, notice my current predicament. 

“Well, it looks like you’re in a spot of bother, my friend,” he said. “You’ve gotten yourself absolutely covered in Poison Joke by the looks of things.” An idea occurred to me. As much of an ass Discord is to me, and I to him in return, he did have powerful chaos magic to hoof. Perhaps it would be able to undo the effects before they began? I put the request to him, with a suitable reward of course; a barrel of high quality Sweet Apple cider.

“So,” Discord said, after thinking it over for a moment, putting his lion paw and eagle talon together as he did so. “You want me to undo the effects of Poison Joke, before they actually do anything to you, after you spurned my friendly hug and were oh so rude to me as well.”

Oh merde. 

“Plus, as the undisputed master of chaos, I can hardly go around creating order, now can I?”

“Please, Discord,” I...well...begged. But he was having none of it. 

“No, my dear boy. You made the bed, now you must lie in it. Besides, it’s like Princess Moonbutt says….” Snapping his talons, he turned himself into a very crude version of Princess Luna, complete with stick on horn, wings and wig. A strong wind suddenly whipped up and he began to float off into the sky. 

“Face your fears!” 

And with that, he popped out of existence. 

Well, I dug myself into that hole, didn’t I?





So, I’d pretty much dumped fuel on the fire there. Since his reformation, Discord seems to have fallen into the habit of trying to teach ponies lessons, in his own twisted way. Well, that and flying off the handle when his feelings get hurt. Hopefully I was going to be subjected to the former, rather than the latter. 

I walked back to the farm, mentally kicking myself all the way. Don’t get me wrong, Discord is, and always will be, a supreme jackass. But he wasn’t being one at that particular moment. And when you look at the situation, I was the one who just turned around and snapped at him. Heck, I accused him of landing me in this mess with absolutely no proof whatsoever. When this was all over, I decided, I needed to apologise to him. If there’s one thing I didn’t want, it was a ticked off spirit of chaos tormenting me until I learned my lesson. 

Putting that issue to one side for a moment, my thoughts turned back to my impending predicament. At least it was winter now, and there wasn’t as much work to be done. I could afford to be out for a day while I went to Zecora’s. 

Again though, the slight fear of what this might do to me reared its head. Like I said before, I don’t like being out of control. That’s when my temper has a remarkable tendency to snap. I tried to talk myself down. Whatever happened wouldn’t be that bad. At worst it would be inconvenient. 

By the time I’d made it back to the farmhouse, I was somewhat calmer than I had been. I’d worked out a rough plan of action. All I had to do now was explain things to AJ and the others, and then possibly endure a few jokes at my expense. 

Pushing open the back door, I found all of the Apple family in the kitchen, tucking into dinner. Was it that late? I guess the walk back had taken longer than I realised. Apple Bloom got up and bounded over to me as I walked in.

“Hey there, Bones,” she said happily. 

I realised that, having come into contact with Poison Joke, I might still have some remnant of it on me. I didn’t want Apple Bloom or any of the others catching this thing as well, so I stopped the filly before she reached me. Taking hold of her with my magic, I set her down on the floor and explained myself. 

“Just hold on there a minute, AB,” I said to the little filly, before addressing the rest of the family. “Best not come near me for a while. Ah wandered through some of that Poison Joke stuff on the way back from Twilight’s.”

“What?!” Apple Bloom exclaimed. Applejack and Big Mac looked up too. “How?”

“Ah was tryin’ this new portal spell. Kinda like a teleportation, but simpler. Anyway, instead of sending me here, I ended up in the Everfree Forest, right in the middle of those dang flowers. Ah’m gonna head to Zecora’s first thing in the mornin’.”

“Well, there a right sour apple,” Applejack commented. “Any idea what that stuff’ll do to ya, sugarcube?” I shook my head.

“Your guess is as good as mine, AJ,” I replied. “Still, won’t be too bad, right?” AJ frowned. 

“Speak for yourself, Bones,” she replied. “That there plant left me as small as an apple all day. Shoot, what if ya can’t get to Zecora’s on your own?” I shrugged.

“Well, one of you guys could help me get there, right?” Big Mac shook his head as he piped up. 

“Don’t ya remember, Bones,” he said. “Applejack’s got to make the delivery to the Bayou country, Apple Bloom’s at school all day, and Ah’ve got to run the market stall.”

We all looked at each other, each hoping the other had an idea. Just then, there was a flash of white light behind me. 

“Perhaps I could be of some help?” Discord said as he stood behind me.

“Discord, what the hay are y’all doin’ here?” Applejack demanded. Snapping his talons, Discord teleported away, appearing next to Big Mac a moment later in his Ogres and Oubliettes costume.

“Why it’s guys night, of course,” he replied jovially. “I’m here to pick up Big Mac. Spike’s waiting for us back at the castle.” Big Mac grinned and quickly grabbed his stuff to head out. Discord turned back to me. 

“I should be free tomorrow though, Bones,” he went on. “If you do need somepony to help you to Zecora’s, I’d be more than willing to lend a paw.”

Ah, here was my chance to try and make amends for earlier!

“Thank you, Discord,” I said, smiling up at him. “Ah appreciate the help.” Discord smiled. 

“My, we’ve changed tone, haven’t we?” he said to me with a devilish grin. “Come tomorrow that won’t be the only thing about you that’s changed. I’ll pick you up at ten am sharp.”

Snapping his talons, the draconequus and Big Mac both disappeared in a teleport. I knew from experience that they wouldn’t be back until quite late. Heck sometimes their games ran so long that instead of getting back late at night, Mac came home early the next morning. 

That just left me with Applejack and Apple Bloom. Granny Smith was contentedly napping in her rocking chair, with Winona sitting curled up on her lap. 

“Well, at least that’s one thing sorted. Are you gonna be okay headin’ out to the Bayou country, Applejack?” AJ nodded. 

“Course, sugarcube,” she replied confidently, “Ah’ve got everything Ah need to get past that chimera if it shows its face again.” I smiled.

“Ah don’t s’pose y’all have any advice for me on dealin’ with Poison Joke, do ya?” I asked. 

“Don’t you worry none, Bones,” Applejack replied. “We’ll all be here in the mornin’ to help ya if ya need it. And Discord can help ya get to Zecora’s.” 

“Ya seem awful trustin of that slippery serpent all of a sudden AJ,” I replied, sounding a little curious. AJ waved a hoof. 

“Oh he’s not so bad really. Well, not as bad as he used to be at any rate.”

“Yeah, Mac says he's real nice sometimes,” Apple Bloom added. I pondered that. 

“Just try not to think ‘bout it, Bones,” Applejack advised. “It’ll only put you on edge, and Celestia knows how you are when you’re on edge.” 

“Hey!” I snapped, half serious. “Ah ain’t that bad.” Applejack's eyebrow went up.

“Last month when you thought the cider press was busted, you started frettin ‘bout us bein’ financially destitute before ya even checked to see if Mac could fix it,” she replied in a deadpan tone. She did make a bit of a point. 

“True,” I replied, smiling at her. The three of us burst into giggles. 





I spent the evening with AJ, helping Apple Bloom with her homework. It was a nice chance for the three of us to bond, although neither AJ or me took well to the ‘new’ maths that Cheerilee and my mum were supposedly teaching. That led to Applejack declaring that they were using their ‘fancy mathematics to muddy the issue’, while I ended up asking myself, and possibly the Equestria Education Association, why anyone would suddenly change maths. It certainly reminded me of my own poor performance in that subject back in high school. 

Eventually though, between the three of us, we managed to get through the worksheet Apple Bloom had been given. It was getting pretty late, and Luna’s moon was high in the sky by the time all three of us headed off to bed. 

Since Mac was away for the evening, I considered asking AJ if she wanted to sleep together again. But given that I was still potentially contaminated, and the fact that Mac might return before we got up tomorrow, I decided not to chance it. Although I did think it was high time me and Mac had a frank talk; stallion to stallion, about sleeping arrangements. 

I went to bed that night only slightly restless. I actually felt like a kid on Christmas Eve. I was now more curious than anything to see what the Poison Joke might do to me. 

Looking back, it should have been blatantly obvious, given the pattern of effects it had on Twilight and the others. But, as they say, hindsight is twenty-twenty. And at least it wouldn’t end up being too painful, not once I had some clothes at any rate.





I came to groggily, my vision was blurry as I rubbed my eyes. Squinting for a moment, I found that my eyesight wasn’t that great, as if there was a blur filter over them or something. I was cold too, my hooves were freezing, sticking out as they were from under the covers. I only found warmth again when I tucked myself into the foetal position. 

Well, I guess it was time to see just what the Poison Joke had done to me overnight. Rolling onto my front, I threw the covers off and got to my hooves. 

Only to damn near throw my back out. 

I cried out in pain. It felt like I was stooping or something just trying to stand normally. In the end, I settled on a sort of arched back configuration. My eyesight still wasn’t brilliant either. I could see well enough, but I couldn’t make out details, like the numbers on the face of my alarm clock. 

Out of habit, I activated my magic and set about making the bed.

Only nothing happened. 

I tried twice more, but I couldn’t get my magic to work, not for levitation, not illumination, I couldn’t even get my magic to activate at all. Reaching up with a hoof, I made to examine my horn. Perhaps I’d had something similar to Twilight? To my amazement though, I couldn’t find my horn at all. That was when I started to panic. A unicorn after all is lost without his magic. 

While my eyesight might have become a little poorer, it did revel one crucial development. 

My hooves were gone, replaced by hands. Rushing over to my desk, and struggling to walk, never mind run on only two legs once again, I took a look at my reflection as best I could. 

There was no doubt about it, I was human alright. I was the me that I’d been before all of this happened, the me before I arrived in Equestria. That explained the poor vision, back on Earth, I’d had 30/6 vision, I was longsighted. I’d needed glasses to see clearly anything up close. I’d not worn them since becoming a unicorn, and they hadn’t come with me when we ended up here. 

The end result was that I was now blind as a bat when it came to reading anything, and I would need to temporarily get used to walking on two legs again. Oh, and there was one other issue which I quickly realised, luckily before I went out of my room. 

I was completely naked. Ponies don’t wear clothes, so I’d naturally transformed without anything on. I quickly wrapped myself up in my duvet, blushing hard. 

I sat down on the edge of my bed, breathing hard. I did my best to calm down.

“It’s okay. It’s okay,” I kept repeating to myself in a desperate mantra. “Zecora can fix this in a jiffy. And you’ll be back to your old self again in no time.”

I had absolutely no desire to return to being a human. I’d been a pony for a few years now. I’d gotten used to it, and even started a relationship. And despite what Lyra might say, screw hands, I’ll take magic any day of the week. Lizzie had voluntarily stuck with her own transformation into a pegasus for the same reasons. Living in Equestria was far easier if you were a pony. Don’t get me wrong, you could as a human, but I doubt Mum and Dad would have been happy if they didn’t have each other to rely on. 

Well, there was only one thing for it. I needed to head downstairs, get breakfast, get some actual clothes, and then get to Zecora’s as fast as possible. Then I could study this whole ridiculous mess.  





Getting downstairs was a bit tricky. Between only being partly able to see where I was going, the difficulty of navigating stairs on two legs and a critical need to preserve my modesty, it wasn’t exactly a fun experience. It would probably be even more interesting when I found the rest of the Apple family. 

I managed to make it downstairs without too much trouble. Walking, as it turns out, is a bit like riding a bike, you don’t really ever truly forget. I was still a bit unsteady on my feet, but I was no longer worried about falling flat on my face. Walking through the hallway, mainly from memory due to my now poor vision, I soon found myself in the kitchen. I picked out an orange blob, a red one, a green one and a smaller yellow one. I couldn’t tell what their expressions were at this distance, but the fact that their morning chatter had gone silent gave me a clue. 

“Everypony just stay calm,” I implored, holding up a hand. “It’s me; Bones.” Applejack got up and walked over to me. She was much shorter than me now. As a human I was around 5’8; not especially tall, but far above the pony average of 4’6. 

“Bones?” she said, quietly, evidently not quite believing her eyes. “What the hay happened.”

“Poison joke happened, AJ,” I replied. “The damn thing turned me back into a human! Ah can’t see nothin’ either without my old glasses.”

Unlike my parents or Lizzie, since I’d been a pony from minute one, I didn’t have any of my old stuff with me, so I had no clothes to change into, never mind glasses to see with. 

Applejack examined me closely, trying to see if there was any way to undo this ridiculous magic. But I knew that the only way to turn back was to get in a special run bath with the antidote in it. 

“Hayseed, Bones,” AJ exclaimed. “This is about as bad as when Ah got stung by that no good flower. We gotta get ya to Zecora’s. The Bayou country can wait, Ah’m not letting ya out in the Everfree Forest like this.”

She had a good point, visually impaired as I was, I may well not see potential predators in the dark woods, since they so often blended in to the surrounding trees and scrub, never mind the fact that many, like timberwolves, stalked their prey silently. And that was assuming I didn’t come off the path and get totally lost. 

I managed to sit down at the table and got some breakfast into me. As strange as all this was, I still managed to have a conversation with Apple Bloom, who was mainly curious about what had happened and what it felt like. The brief glimmer of normalcy helped me keep my head on straight. 

“Applejack, ya don’t need to blow off work for me,” I said as we ate. “Discord should be able to help me get there easily enough. And once Zecora has me fixed up, Ah can easily find my way back on my own.” Applejack though, was in one of her stubborn moods and shook her head.

“No way, Bones,” she said firmly. “The last thing Ah’m gonna do is leave ya when you’re stuck like this. Ah’m sure Discord will help out, but Ah also know that the varmint loves to play tricks when he thinks he can get away with it. So Ah’ll come with ya to make sure that doesn’t happen. C’mon, let’s not hang around. We’re gettin ya to Zecora’s pronto!”

And so, being led by AJ, and still wrapped up in bedsheets I might add, I set out for the Everfree Forest.





 It wasn’t a particularly easy trip to make for the two of us. I could tell what was land and what was sky, I could distinguish trees and such, but things like uneven ground were invisible to me until I found myself tripping over my feet. It made for slow going through the orchards. It wasn’t particularly comfortable either. I hadn’t got any shoes or socks to wear either, and while the grass wasn’t too bad, I knew it was going to be damned painful walking through the Everfree. 

I was also a bit annoyed, as was AJ, by the fact that we were short one member of our party. Our original plan had been for AJ to go about her day, while Discord went with me to Zecora’s. But given the nature of my change, AJ had blown off her plans. But Discord hadn’t shown his face yet. 

“Where in the wide, wide realm of Equestria is that glorified jackalope?” Applejack exclaimed as she led me through the orchard towards the Everfree Forest. “If a feller offers to lend a hoof, the least he can do is actually show up.”

Just then, I heard the easily recognisable pop of a teleport spell.

“Right behind you,” he said, in an affected Prench accent. AJ and me both jumped in fright. 

Turning around, I got a better look, or as best as I could, at Discord. As with everything, he now seemed smaller. The draconequus still had a few inches on me, but looked nowhere near as intimidating as he could as a pony. He examined me closely. 

“Oooohhh dear,” he said, with an obvious grin. “That Poison Joke really did a number on you didn’t it, Bones.” 

“Nice of ya to show up, Discord,” Applejack replied coldly. Discord huffed.

“It’s not my fault you two set off early. I was at the farmhouse at ten, just as I promised.” To emphasise the point, we heard the clock chime the hour in Ponyville. 

“Well, you’re here now. That’s all that matters,” I said, trying to smooth things over. “I don’t suppose you could lend a hoof and help me see and walk a bit easier.” Discord thought for a moment before snapping his talons. 

“Well, since you asked nicely,” he replied. 

A moment later, I found myself able to see again, as a pair of glasses had materialised on my face. I also had some basic clothes and shoes. It was certainly better than walking around half-blind and clad in only bedsheets. I blinked a few times and adjusted things until they were comfortable. 

“Thanks, Discord,” I said after a moment. The draconequus smiled. 

“Oh think nothing of it, dear boy,” he replied, waving a paw. “Now, let’s get you to Zecora’s.”

A snap of his talons later, and we found ourselves standing outside the shaman's hut, albeit feeling a tad queasy from the teleport. I don’t know what it is, but Discord’s teleports always seem to make ponies lose their lunch. 

Thank Celestia I’d only had a quick breakfast. 





The three of us soon found ourselves inside Zecora’s hut, and, after a brief shock at seeing me (after all, I looked nothing like my normal self), she quickly set about brewing up the necessary potions to undo the effects of the Poison Joke. Applejack volunteered to lend a hoof. As an Earth Pony, she was quite skilled when it came to horticulture, and partly due to her little sister’s interest in the subject, knows a fair bit about chemistry too. She actually stopped by Zecora’s shop in town not too long ago to pick up some herbal medicine for Granny Smith. 

While the two of them worked to create the antidote solution, Discord and I had some time to talk. I’ve always known Discord to be devious, secretive, manipulative and on occasion downright cruel. But that’s changed as of late. His recent services to the country notwithstanding, he’s become a lot nicer, for the most part. He’s developed a friendship with Spike and Big Mac, as well as my dad, he’s a lot more sociable and friendly. Heck, the fact that he’d volunteered to teleport me here to save me a trip spoke for itself. He really had changed. 

Of course, he’s still Discord, that’ll never change. He does still love to mess with ponies and play long con, convoluted pranks, and when his feelings are hurt, he does sometimes act out and slip back into his old ways. But he feels like a friend now. A crazy, not entirely trustable friend who might one day decided to steal your organs and sell them to Armenian gangsters, but a friend nonetheless. He’d certainly changed a lot from his early days of reformation, before Tirek’s brief escape. 

So, you can understand why I wanted to apologise to him. The past few times I’d run into him, I’d treated him as that same untrustworthy, misanthropic, near homicidal maniac who only occasionally responded to Fluttershy’s admonishments. Now though, he genuinely was trying to be a friend. And who wouldn’t want a near-god of chaos as a friend? 

The two of us were sitting in Zecora’s hut, sipping on a hot cup of tea each. The zebra grows her own blend right here in the Everfree. At present, I was sipping on a close approximation of berber whiskey; black tea with mint leaves, drunk by Moroccan bedouins for centuries, while Discord was enjoying the glass itself in his usual chaotic way. Setting my cup down on the table, I turned to the draconequus. 

“Discord,” I said quietly, catching his attention.

“Hmm?” he replied, turning to look at me. I tried to think of the best way to put things. 

“I just wanted to say...thanks for doing this. Ya made today a whole lot easier for me and AJ. And Ah’m sorry for how Ah treated you before. Ah didn’t mean to hurt your feelings or nothin’. Ah’d just gotten so used to y’all being the Spirit of Chaos and Disharmony, that Ah never thought about the idea of you bein’ a friend.” 

Discord listened with an air of fatherly patience. And after a moment, his previous contemplative expression brightened, and with no small amount of happiness declared;

“That’s all I needed to hear.” 

Snapping his talons, the world went white for a moment as I was again caught in a teleportation. This time though, I didn’t feel my stomach do somersaults. As my vision cleared, I was surprised to find myself back in Twilight’s castle, in the library in fact, where I’d been when this whole mess started. 

The first thing I noticed was that I was no longer human. I was back to my usual equine self, complete with horn and the reassuring feel of my own magic. In front of me stood a shocked looking Twilight, and a slightly irate version of my dad. Discord was standing next to me, as he had been a moment ago. 

“I win,” the draconequus said to my old man. “You owe me fifty bits.”

“Fine,” Dad said with no small amount of annoyance. I looked around, trying to work out what had just happened. 

“Hang on just an apple pickin’ minute,” I said in a perplexed tone. “How the hay did Ah get here? And how come Ah’m a pony again.” Twilight sheepishly explained. 

“You...never were a human, Blade Star,” she explained. “When you activated your portal spell, Discord hijacked it and used it to pull you into one of his pocket dimensions. Everything after you left the library was an illusion. You never fell into Poison Joke, and you were never turned into a human. You’ve actually only been gone ten minutes.

“Your dad had told Discord that if he wanted more friends he needed to be more likeable and friendly, and stop messing with ponies for the fun of it.” She cast a withering leer at Discord at that part. “Discord said he could make friends without changing himself so much, and bet your dad fifty bits that he become friends with you. Then he came here just as we were leaving and took over your portal spell.”

I turned to the still grinning Discord. To say I was furious was an understatement. The crazy lunatic had kidnapped me, stuck me in a pocket dimension, and changed my species, just to win a bet with my dad. And to think that I was coming round to the idea that he had changed. 

I was about to tear his head off, both verbally and possibly physically, but a thought occurred to me. Discord was a jackass, there was no denying that. But was I really any better than him? Whenever he stopped by, I was either immediately hostile or aloof towards him. How was that supposed to encourage him to change? 

I think I’ve said it before, but Discord, despite his years, is still quite new to the idea of friendship, and when his feelings get hurt, rather than deal with the problem like a normal four thousand year old chaos entity, he acts out and play tricks. He did it with Fluttershy’s friend Treehugger. And, illusion aside, he had actually helped me out out of the kindness of his heart, wherever the heck that might be found. 

So, my initial anger evaporated. And it was replaced by a small feeling of pity for Discord. He just wanted friends, in his own weird way. And had what I just experienced been real, I would have considered him a friend. Why should it be any different because it was an illusion? I looked up at him and smiled. 

“It’s okay, Discord,” I said simply and held out my hoof for him to bump. Twilight looked genuinely surprised as Discord returned the gesture.

“You’re a bigger man than I, Bones,” Dad said with a smile. “Though I’m not sure it’s a good idea to vindicate this little experiment.”  I turned back to the draconequus.

“One of the most important parts in bein’ a friend, is forgivin’ them when they make a mistake,” I replied sagely, channelling my inner Twilight. “And he was right about one thing, Ah have been harsh on him these past few months. It’s time Ah gave him a chance.”

Discord smiled at me, genuinely for once. For all his bluster, he does want friends. Only sometimes his nature makes it a bit harder for him to find them. And you can’t tell me he isn’t a good friend when the chips are down. After all, he went tearing up to the Changeling Kingdom to rescue Fluttershy and the others not so long ago. 

And that is how I became friends with Discord. He’s even invited me to join him on this week’s Guys Night. Now if only I knew a damn thing about how you play O&O.
> Chapter 14 - The Seven Pillars of Equestria
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I found myself working quite busily with Mac all day. Normally, we’d have had AJ on hoof to help us speed things along, but she’d been called away on some friendship quest or another. I was a little on edge because of that. Remember my theory about counting off episodes? Well, we hit twenty four last week when Sunburst had dropped by Ponyville. He’d come to see Starlight. 

And from what I’d heard, it was Sunburst who had set the present events in motion. Without going into too much detail, Sunburst has a love of collecting antiquities, as does Twilight Sparkle, and when he came to visit Starlight, the two of them went on a bit of a spree. One of his purchases included a sealed barrel. I guess you could compare it to when people buy old storage units and try to sell whatever is inside. What Sunburst had allegedly found was quite intriguing. 

He claimed to have found the actual journal of Starswirl the Bearded; the legendary unicorn wizard who once crowned Celestia and Luna as princesses and mentored Clover the Clever, one of Equestria’s founders. 

The subject of the unicorn had been one of the first things I looked into when I first settled down here in Equestria. While it is something of niche subject, I had the perfect lecturer; Twilight Sparkle. She showed me how history officially records Starswirl as missing, having disappeared off the face of Equestria just over a thousand years ago. That was where this journal came in. Supposedly, it told of how Starswirl had formed his own precursor to the Mane Six, and that this group was responsible for the Tree of Harmony’s creation. They were now stranded in Limbo, along with their most bitter of enemies, the ‘Pony of Shadows’, who until then, I thought to be a children’s tale. 

So, Twilight had set herself the goal of freeing these Pillars of Equestria as they were known. Like their modern day counterparts, they had six objects which allowed them to channel their magic into a near unstoppable force. That was what Applejack had gone to lend a hoof with. She told me before she left that she was setting out for a village in the Coltic region of Equestria, something along the lines of the Scottish Highlands. Here she hoped to find the remains of Rockhoof’s village. 

I’d learned about this particular pillar from her, although until now, he was believed to be just an old folk tale. He was supposed to be the strongest Earth Pony ever, and with his shovel had saved his village from a volcanic eruption. AJ was now going to try and recover that shovel as part of the spell to bring him and the others out of Limbo. 

Now, there wasn’t really much I could do about all this. I know that I have to let events run their course, but I couldn’t help but feel on edge. The last finale had seen Equestria once again attacked by changelings. I didn’t even want to think about what this Pony of Shadows might be capable of. Still, I trusted AJ to look after herself. In all honesty, my presence would probably be more of a hindrance than anything else. So, I agreed to stay behind and tend to the farm as I always do. I would just have to wait and see what happened. 

Mac felt just the same of course, more so even, given that AJ is his little sister. But he also knows that there hasn’t been a single threat to Equestria that those girls haven’t been able to defeat. 

So the two of us did our best to keep working and not dwell on the worrying subject. But when Twilight and the others got back, I intended to go through the whole affair very carefully. I may not be an expert, but I might be able to spot something Twilight and the others overlooked. 





As things turned out though, this particular finale was over and done with rather quickly. While there was something of a risk to Equestria as a whole, it ultimately turned out that this Pony of Shadows’ bark was far worse than his bite. It also turned out that he wasn’t quite as evil as had been originally suggested. 

You see, while there were six Pillars, there was another member of the group; a young unicorn named Stygian. He was the brains of the operation, coming up with the plans the Pillars used to defeat threats to Equestria. But, like most typical ponies, he didn’t have that much magical power. This was back in the days before dark magic was particularly well understood or documented, and its risks not made clear. 

Stygian sought to be like his friends, nothing more, in order to better help them on their various quests. However, his attempts, instead of attracting approval, invited criticism and fear. Starswirl in particular thought that Stygian was becoming too powerful and would become dangerous. This ultimately led to the magic Stygian had discovered taking him over, turning him into the Pony of Shadows.

Starlight, being the most recently redeemed pony about, saw Stygian’s plight, while Twilight wanted to follow her idol’s suggestion and use the combined power of the Elements of Harmony and the Pillars’ magic to blast the Pony of Shadows back to Limbo. She, at the last moment, actually broke through the shadow layers and found Stygian. With Twilight’s help, they were able to free him, while banishing the demon that overtook him back to Limbo where it belonged. 

Thus, the whole misunderstanding was cleared up. Stygian and the Pillars reconciled, and the threat of the Pony of Shadows was over. There was now only one issue to deal with; seven ponies who had leapt forward in time over a millenia. Starswirl and the others decided that, given that the Elements had rendered them somewhat obsolete, they would go off to explore Equestria as individuals. In particular, Starswirl sought to improve his understanding of the magic of friendship; something which had previously eluded him. 

And that is why, upon Applejack’s return, she had with her a rather unique visitor.





Equestria has many different and diverse regions, many of which are analogues of our own nations. Manehattan, Baltimare and Fillydelphia are modelled after similarly named cities on the East Coast of the United States, Vanhoover takes after Canada, Appleloosa resembles the Old West, Trottingham is a Britain of yesteryear, Saddle Arabia is akin, curiously, more to Egypt than anything else, and fortunately does not have quite as stringent rules about its faith, while the Prench region is modelled after France, finally, Neighpon is modelled after feudal Japan.

One that I hadn’t really come across until now though, was the Coltish region of Equestria. If I were to make a guess, I would say it is modelled after Scotland. It’s inhabitants are remarkably similar to the Yaks in temperament, and they are infamous for the amount of salt they can swallow and remain standing. 

Nowadays, the region was less populated than in the past, with many residents moving to larger cities. The culture had been somewhat diluted and came close to being lost forever. It was now more a scene for archaeologists, looking to study the old civilisation that once made home in one of the most geologically active regions of the realm. 

I however, was about to meet perhaps the original Coltic warrior. 

Having finished our work for the day, Big Mac and I were walking back through the orchards. So far, we’d heard nothing from AJ or her friends about their quest. Actually, at this point, despite the whole crisis being over, we didn’t even know the Pony of Shadows was real, never mind that he’d escaped from Limbo and briefly run amok in Hollow Shades, the ancient Thestral settlement. 

“Ah hope Applejack and the others are doin’ okay,” I said, a little nervously. Big Mac smiled.

“Relax, Bones,” he replied reassuringly. “At least this time we got warnin’ before all this happened.”

That was true. After all, the last major event had been the incursion. We didn’t find out about that until the Royal Guard were raiding the castle. I used to mock the transparency of changeling disguise spells, and yet I spent a whole evening talking with that...thing, none the wiser. 

Big Mac was right though. It was very much a case of no news is good news. In the absence of clear changes in the world around us, and given that we’d seen no monsters or other creatures to cause us alarm, I came to agree with him that the others were probably doing alright. 

The pair of us were just coming towards the farmhouse, when we encountered Apple Bloom. It was about the time the little filly got home from school. Usually though, she either went to find Granny Smith, or, more typically, she’d be off to the CMC clubhouse with her friends. As I understand it, their books are kept quite full with new clients. 

“Bones! Big Macintosh!” the filly exclaimed, running towards us as fast as her legs could carry her. “Applejack’s back. Ya gotta come see who’s with her!”

Inwardly, I let out a sigh of relief. If AJ was back, it meant the business was done and dusted. We’d got through the finale without trouble. Now we could all look forward to some time to kick back before the next opener. It certainly seemed to prove my theory about counting off adventures in any case. I made a mental note to let Twilight and the other princesses know. 

“Who is it, AB?” Mac asked as she ran over and hugged us both. “The princesses? A dragon?” Apple Bloom shook her head.

“No, it’s Rockhoof!” Both of us were left speechless. 

I didn’t know too much about Rockhoof, apart from the story I’d heard Applejack tell once or twice. I knew plenty about Starswirl of course, but the other Pillars were pretty much a mystery to me. The opportunity to meet somepony from over a millenia ago, who may well have more knowledge of that time than even the princesses was...intriguing. 

And so, the two of us followed Apple Bloom back to the farm house. Along the way, Apple Bloom part way related the events I described earlier. Apparently, all the Pillars were presently in Ponyville. Starswirl was at the castle with Twilight, going through her library, Flash Magnus was with Dash, Mistmane was with Rarity, Meadowbrook was with Fluttershy and Zecora, and Sonambula was with Pinkie. I was eager to meet the lot of them. The knowledge they had would no doubt be extremely useful in the future, and who says no to meeting some heroes?

Reaching the farmhouse, we found Applejack quite happily chatting with Rockhoof. He was just like he appeared in the old stories; a positively massive Earth Pony that dwarfed even the likes of Big Mac. He actually looked like a scaled up version of Dewdrop; Lizzie’s coltfriend, with a light blue coat and a gold coloured mane and tail. Like Starswirl, he had a fairly thick beard, although his was more the mountain man style than Dumbledore. His outfit was similarly archaic, with a leather looking chest piece (ponies in those days had far fewer scruples about clothing than now) with cloth tied around each hoof for protection. Slung across his back was a large shovel. It couldn’t be the original one of course, from what Apple Bloom had said, that priceless artifact had been destroyed when the Pony of Shadows broke loose. Still, I imagine even Mac would have a hard time handling it, and as we approached, the stallion was doing tricks with it, much to AJ’s amusement. 

He was throwing the large implement up in the air, twirling it, as if it weighed no more than a bit. But judging by the size and metal construction, it probably weighed as much as Apple Bloom. I couldn’t lift it any more than I could lift Thor’s hammer. As Mac and I walked over, he stopped his tricks, letting the shovel land deftly next to him, impaling itself in the ground. 

“Bones, Big Macintosh!” Applejack greeted. Like her younger sister, she ran over and gave us both a hug. I was glad to have her back, safe and sound. She turned to the large stallion behind her.

“Ah’d like ya to meet Rockhoof, former member of the Mighty Helm.” Both Mac and I looked up at the massive fellow that stood before us. He stuck out a large hoof. 

“Pleasure to meet ya both,” he said in a thick Scotch accent. The two of us each gave him a hoof bump. 

“Likewise,” I said with a smile. I was glad ponies hoof bump instead of shaking, no doubt he’d have crushed mine if he had. “So what brings ya to our little farm than?” 

“Applejack said I could spend a day or so here to prepare for the journey back to my old village. I’m gonna be helping these archaeological folks unearth the old place.” He gestured to the shovel that sat on his back. 

“We were just ‘bout to head in when we ran into AB,” Applejack explained. “Ah figured y’all might wanna meet our guest before supper.” I smiled at her.

“Well Ah reckon we both appreciate that, Applejack,” I replied. “Ah don’t know ‘bout you two though, but Ah’m as hungry as a horse.” 

We all had a good laugh at that. I still find it strange that such similes make sense in a land populated by ponies and other equines. As we walked back toward the house, Mac went to be with AJ, leaving me with Apple Bloom on one side and Rockhoof on the other. As the large stallion walked, he began to whistle a tune; a tune I knew all too well. Without realising it, I began to sing the words, at least as I knew them.


Hark when the night is falling,


Hark hear the pipes are calling.


Loudly and proudly calling,


Down thro’ the glen.


There where the hills are sleeping.


Now feel the blood a-leaping,


High as the spirits of the old highland men.



Towering in gallant fame,


Scotland my mountain hame.


High may your proud standards gloriously wave.


Land of my high endeavour,


Land of the shining river,


Land of my heart forever,


Scotland the brave!


“That’s not the words I remember when I was a nipper but it’s pretty close,” Rockhoof commented. “Ye got a drop a Coltic blood in your veins too have ye?” I pondered that for a moment. 

“Ah s’pose,” I replied. “One side of my family is ancestrally Irish Ah think. And there’s plenty of Briton in there too.” Rockhoof looked puzzled. 

“Bones ain’t from round these parts, Rockhoof,” she explained concisely. “He used to look like that human feller ya met in Canterlot.”

“Oh aye?” Rockhoof asked. “Must’ve been some pretty serious magic to do that to a pony.” I nodded. 

“It sure was,” I replied. “It’s been a few years since Ah got here, and Ah know a lot about magic. But Ah’ve still got no idea how Ah ended up like this, nor does Twilight, or even the princesses.” 

“Maybe Starswirl can help ya, lad?” Rockhoof suggested. I bit my tongue at that. I had no doubt that insulting the mage would tick him off. 

A magical genius Starswirl may be, but if you ask me, he is nothing more than your typical unicorn of the period; arrogant, pompous, self-righteous, and deeply closed minded. He is, directly or indirectly, responsible for more than a couple of Equestria’s woes, including the creation of the changeling species. In my opinion, now that he’s back, he ought to be held to account for his actions. And based on what I learned from AJ, he did seem to line up with my view of him. It was his reaction to Stygian’s harmless attempts at self-improvement that got them all stuck in Limbo in the first place, and if it had been up to him, the poor lad would be there now, still trapped within the Pony of Shadows. 

But I am in the minority. I certainly never voice my views around his number one fan either. Well, I did once, and I’ve no desire to undergo a repeat experience. Still, I stand by my analysis of his character. I can certainly see why he was passed over for ascension.

Still, Rockhoof did make a good point. As much as I may take a dim view of him, Starswirl has knowledge of magic that, in some areas, surpasses even the princesses, who he himself tutored all those years ago. I suppose there was no harm in going to see him. At any rate, Sunburst was still in town as well, and it would be nice to catch up with him as well.   





Before too long, we had Rockhoof all settled in at the farmhouse. It would be a little awkward, but it was only for one night. Given his size, the only one with a bed that was both big enough and could take the weight, was Big Mac’s. That left Mac himself sleeping on the sofa. Well, I knew that wouldn’t fly, so I ended up giving up my room for the night instead. It made sense, with me being the smallest of the three, actually being around average for a full grown stallion. 

We all got together for dinner after that had all been sorted. Luckily, Granny Smith was able to make a few servings extra for our guest. Apple Bloom was greatly taken with the many stories Rockhoof was spinning. To be fair, I was too; the stallion could spin a good yarn, and who wouldn’t want to hear about how a pony actually defeated a full grown ursa major? It was a good story and all. I would have though, had it not been for his cutie mark, that Rockhoof’s special talent lay in telling stories instead of brute strength. 

After dinner was over and done with, I decided to head out to Twilight’s for a little while. I wanted to see Starswirl, as per Rockhoof’s suggestion, but I also wanted to check in with Twilight; maybe learn a bit more about this Limbo place and what precisely the Pony of Shadows was. From what I’d heard, it was a manifestation, similar to Nightmare Moon, and that had more than piqued my interest. 

Heading out into the night, I cast a simple illumination spell to light my way. Combined with the full moon shining high in the sky, it was more than enough light to help me find my way. Still, all this talk of a pony made from pure shadow had me jumping at the dark from time to time as I made my way to Ponyville. Before too long though, the bright lights of the castle came into view. The place actually glows you know. 

Heading up the stairs, I found the front door once again unlocked, and at this time of night too. I made a mental note to remind Twilight of the importance of security. Walking into the map room, my sensitive ears picked up the sound of two ponies talking. One was clearly Twilight, and the other was presumably Starswirl. 

As I made my way along the corridor, I considered what I was going to say. I’ve already made it quite plain what my personal opinion of Starswirl is. But I could hardly come out swinging, now could I? At the end of the day, he was a gifted scholar and wizard, and from what Rockhoof had told me, he was beginning to come around to the idea of friendship. 

Stepping into the library, I found Twilight and Starswirl sitting together at one of the desks, pouring over some tome or another. Starswirl looked exactly as he had done in all the pictures I’d seen; a gaunt, grey unicorn, with a long, sharply pointed horn, and a long white beard. He wore his signature robe and hat, complete with bells. Twilight had actually done quite a good job back when she dressed up as him for Nightmare Night all those moons ago. The ancient wizard looked up at my entrance and I got my first taste of his personality.

“If you don’t mind,” he said severely, with the cold tone of a vicious schoolmaster. “We are engaged in private lessons. If you wish to have an audience with the princess, kindly sod off and come back later!” I stood where a was, frozen to the spot. Twilight quickly jumped in. 

“Starswirl, wait, that’s Blade Star, one of my friends!” she exclaimed, shooting him an angry glare. Rolling his eyes, Starswirl set down the text he was reading.

“Very well, Twilight,” he said tiredly. “But really, how do you expect to learn all I have to teach if these interruptions keep up?”

“Blade Star is a friend, Starswirl,” Twilight replied. “A good pony is always willing to set their time aside for friends.” Starswirl pondered that as Twilight trotted over to join me, for I had stopped where I was in the doorway.

“Hi, Blade Star,” she said, rousing me out of my state of shock. “Sorry about Starswirl. He’s still learning the finer points of friendship.” I let out a chuckle at that.

“It’s alright, Twilight,” I replied reassuringly. “Ya already know Ah don’t exactly hold him in the highest regard.” That got her to let out an angry snort, so I backed off. 

“Anyway,” I went on. “Ah came by because Rockhoof suggested that Starswirl might have some idea about my little magical mystery.” Twilight’s eyes lit up at that. 

The two of us have been trying to work out why I was changed into a unicorn pony for ages. Neither of us have been able to work out an answer. We know it involves high level, almost harmony grade magic, and that it doesn’t respond to or correspond with any known spell. It wasn’t Poison Joke, although we did think it was possible that the Everfree Forest had some role in it. The big question though was why only I was affected. Mum, Dad and Lizzie all came through the exact same portal at the exact same time as humans, when I had been turned into an exact copy of an OC I’d created. 

Twilight let out an adorable little gasp and squee when I said that, and she clapped her front hooves together excitedly.  

“I’m sure he’d love to work on such a magical mystery,” Twilight said gleefully. “Come on, I’ll introduce you two properly and we can make a start.” 

And with that, I found myself encased in her magic and pulled over to the table where Starswirl had returned to his reading. 





Initially, things were a little awkward between the two of us. Starswirl may be a magical genius, but he wasn’t the most sociable of characters. Considering that I’d introduced myself by interrupting his lesson, I didn’t exactly start off on the best footing. 

He also didn’t care much for my accent, putting me down as a ‘bumbling country bumpkin.’ Bristling, I replied that he was an overbred unicorn who spent so much time in Canterlot he’d forgotten the rest of Equestria existed. From there, things turned into a bit of a shouting match. I brought up a few ugly moments from his past, and he hurled earth pony stereotypes from a few centuries back at me..Eventually, Twilight could take things no longer. 

“Enough!” she bellowed, actually dipping into something close to the Royal Canterlot Voice. The two of us found our lips transfigured into zippers, which promptly sealed themselves shut. After a few moments of yelling unintelligible gibberish at one another, we both calmed down and looked to the alicorn princess that now stood between us. 

“You two are both experts when it comes to magic,” Twilight said sternly. “But you’re acting like a couple of foals. Have either of you learned nothing from my studies on friendship?” 

The two of us took on a downcast look. We were being a bit stupid. By the time Twilight had stepped in, our arguments had degenerated to the point that even the House of Commons would have thought it petty. Twilight continued. 

“Now I’m going to unzip you both. I want you to stop squabbling and actually give each other a chance.” She turned to me. “Blade Star, I know Starswirl made some mistakes in the past, but everypony has a right to change and learn from them. We do them no good by never letting them go. And Starswirl, just because Blade Star’s origins are a little unusual doesn’t mean he lacks knowledge when it comes to magic.”

With that, she unzipped us both. We stared at one another sheepishly, neither willing to make the first move. In the end, it was Starswirl himself who broke the silence. 

“Twilight tells me,” he said. “That you underwent some kind of transformation upon your arrival in Equestria.”

“Yeah,” I replied quietly. “Ah used to be a human. Rockhoof tells me ya met Roger in Canterlot; he’s my dad.” Starswirl’s eyes widened at that.

“Indeed. I’ve heard of transfiguration spells being used on living creatures, but none last as long as yours. And the spell itself is usually detectable and simple enough to undo.” Activating his magic, he did a bit of searching, something Twilight had tried ages ago. 

“I can’t find any indication of any spell,” he said after a moment. “If Twilight hadn’t told me, I’d have said you were naturally a pony. This is indeed a puzzle.” Now feeling a little more at ease, I put forward one of my own pet theories. 

“Ah’ve always reckoned it has somethin to do with harmony level magic. That’s the only thing Ah know of that's both powerful enough and able to hide itself. You probably know more about that tree than anypony else alive.”

And so, the two of us got to talking. After a while, our earlier animosity had evaporated completely. Starswirl, in person, was far removed from the character I’d known before coming to Equestria. His arrogance had been humbled by his failure with Stygian, and he was now more willing to listen to new ideas from unusual sources. I even got to teach him a thing or two about ‘new’ magic that had been created after his disappearance. 

In the end, what was meant to be a quick stop turned into an all-nighter, with the two of us staying up until dawn going over various theories. While we didn’t manage to prove anything conclusively. Starswirl did agree that the tree itself may have had a hoof in my change, although its motivations were anypony’s guess. I’d certainly not played much of a role in saving Equestria; I was no seventh element. But there were few other explanations we could arrive at that both accounted for the power required, and the apparent masking and damn near invisibility of the spell that had affected the change. 

Twilight enjoyed herself immensely too. If nothing else, she fulfilled her role as Princess of Friendship by getting the two of us to reconcile. In all honesty, Starswirl and I had more in common than I initially suspected. I know that among my failings, I can be a bit of a hothead at times, and I can rush to judgement, the same could be said of the old unicorn wizard. 

We finally parted ways when the sun came over the horizon startling us and letting us discover that Twilight had fallen asleep in the next room, a large old book wrapped in her hooves. Spike got her to bed, and I began to make my way to Sweet Apple Acres. 

Before I left though, I asked Starswirl what he planned on doing in the immediate future. As I said before, Twilight and the others had pretty much replaced him and the pillars. The old unicorn declared that there was much for him to learn. He planned to tour Equestria, making friends and attempt to learn all he could about the magic of friendship which had both brought him and his friends back and defeated his greatest adversary. 

So yeah, that’s how I met Starswirl the Bearded, and Rockhoof of the Mighty Helm. How many celebrities is that now?
> Chapter 15 - Anniversary
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I were to sum up my relationship with Applejack the word I think I’d use is...unusual. And I think most ponies would agree with me on that front. Our relationship isn't exactly what you’d call textbook. In fact, I’d say it’s about as far from textbook as you can get.

I suppose I should start with the most obvious spanner in the works; me. I don’t broadcast to everyone, but I’m asexual; meaning that I’m not particularly interested in sex. Heck, until not so long ago, I wasn’t interested in relationships period. Some might even say that that ought to sink any possible romance on its own. That however, hasn’t been the case. I may lack interest in the physical aspect of love, but that doesn’t mean I reject it outright. In fact, behind closed doors, I can be quite the romantic, enough to rival even Rarity at times. I love AJ dearly, I just don’t express that love in the same way a lot of ponies do. AJ and me have a very close bond, but it’s a subtle thing that you only spot if you get close.

Then there’s our living situation. I’ve been with AJ for a couple of years now, but for the most part, the two of us sleep separately. Partly, this is due to my asexuality. The main reason however, is the large red stallion just down the hall. I’ve tried talking with him, as has Applejack, but Big Mac has stood firm on the matter as has Granny Smith. That’s more old fashioned values than anything else. I know Mac trusts me completely; Celestia knows he’s chased away more than a couple suitors in his time, but the idea of no hanky panky before marriage still holds up in the Apple household.  

Of course, there have been more than a few occasions when Granny Smith, Big Mac and Apple Bloom have all been out of the house for whatever reason, leaving me and AJ alone. I like and respect Mac, but I’m not about to let him have things his entirely own way and nor is AJ.

Then there’s AJ herself. Like me, she isn’t the most romantic pony out there. In fact, more often than not, past suitors have found her deaf to their flirting in favour of work. She is quite the workaholic after all. With me though, things were a little different. It was she who was doing the chasing, not me.  

Sweet Celestia, looking back on it, it was so awkward for the both of us. AJ was doing her best to catch my eye for ages. And when I finally did cotton on, I ended up burying my head in the sand and telling anypony who suggested the idea that they were talking nonsense. In the end, it took the Princess of Love to get me to open up and stop using my asexuality as a shield against any companionship.  

Along with that, AJ, like me, isn’t the most emotional pony out there. Neither of us wear our hearts on our sleeves. And like me, her love is not the most obvious thing. Still, it is there, and very strong.  

Despite all that though, most ponies don’t really ‘get’ our relationship. We spend most of our time, pretty much all day at times, working on the farm. We don’t get a lot of time to ourselves, and it’s rare we have some time alone with each other. To a lot of ponies, we come across as really close friends than anything else.  

But hey, I don’t particularly care what anypony else thinks, and nor does AJ. We both love each other, and that was an end of it. Still, it did occur to me that it had been a while since we did something together; just the two of us.  





Hearts and Hooves Day; Equestria’s version of Valentines Day. It’s your typical celebration, just as you’d find on Earth. All the couples spend the day doing all sorts of romantic things together. It never really appealed to me, all too sickly sweet and obvious. I suppose it’s partly the way my head’s wired. If I came back to the house and the floor was strewn with rose petals leading up to the bedroom, do you know what my first thought would be?

‘Who’s going to clean up all this later?’ It’s funny I know, but that’s just the way your mind works when you’re like me. Eros, as the Greeks would call it, doesn’t really enter into the equation.  

Applejack was pretty much of the same mindset. Sure it nice for everypony to enjoy a day together, but those apple trees weren’t going to look after themselves. Besides, like Rainbow Dash, AJ can’t stand the frou-frou ness that comes with Hearts and Hooves Day. AJ is a simple mare with simple tastes. Whenever I’ve offered to get her something extravagant, she’d always reply that she was happy with what she had. While she was flattered by my offer, she told me I didn’t need to buy anything to show that I cared for her.  

So Hearts and Hooves Day arrived. Aside from spending a bit of time together and planning to cook a special meal for me, AJ didn’t plan to do much to mark the occasion. In contrast, Big Mac went to spend the day, and night, with his marefriend Sugar Belle. I was glad of that for two reasons. Firstly, it was nice to see him getting back out there; his break-up with Cheerilee might have been mutual, but it was still hard on him. But more importantly, it meant he, and all his protective big brother instincts, would be gone for a day or so.

So this year, I tried something a little different to mark the occasion, something more suited to AJ that she’d really appreciate. It took me a while to come up with the idea, but I finally worked out what I could do for AJ that would show how much I cared for her, without making her feel as if she were put on the spot.  

The night before Hearts and Hooves Day, not long after Mac had left, I sneaked into AJ’s room and switched off her alarm clock, resetting it for ten in the morning; well past her usual time.  

In the morning, before the sun rose, I got up and set to work. Treading lightly down the hall, I made my way to AB’s room and roused my co-conspirator. This job wasn’t something I could do on my own.

“Apple Bloom,” I whispered, prodding the sleeping filly with a hoof. “AB, wake up!”

Eventually, the filly awoke, and after blinking her eyes and coming to, she joined me on my little mission.  

All on our own, and in complete secrecy, with only the fading light of the moon and a lantern to see by, we set to work doing Applejack’s chores for the day. I fixed the broken axle on the wagon,  Apple Bloom mended the water spigot that had gotten blocked,  and then we both swept out the hay loft in the barn and just as the sun was coming up. After that, I quickly fed the pigs all the apple cores left over from the cider press.  

It was tiring work to be sure, particularly as I had a full day ahead of my own chores (Apple Bloom at least had the luxury of sleeping the day away), but I figured this was the best present I could offer Applejack. She gets so little time off to herself; she was due a break. The poor mare works on the farm, goes on friendship missions and occasionally helps to save Equestria. I figured she was entitled to one day off.   

Apple Bloom and I got back to the farmhouse just after eight in the morning; well in time to complete my preparations. The little filly had been eager to help when I pitched my idea to her, but I think now she was more than ready to go back to bed and catch up on her much needed sleep.  

“Thanks, Apple Bloom,” I said to the yawning filly, keeping my voice low to avoid waking up AJ. “Here’s your reward.”

I levitated over a large bar of chocolate, which had been her request for payment. Despite her tiredness, AB let out an adorable whinny, before grabbing the confection and scampering back into the house and upstairs.  

I meanwhile headed into the kitchen. There was still much to be done before Applejack woke up. Still, I felt my eyelids getting heavy, so before doing anything else, I made myself a pot of coffee to keep me going.  

As nine o’clock rolled around, I set to work on making breakfast; just for AJ. While neither of us are overtly romantic, I don’t think any mare in Equestria would object to breakfast in bed. I was planning on quite the spread; scrambled eggs on toast, along with apple pancakes, oatmeal and some apple juice, all served in her bedroom. I’d even gone to the trouble of making a wooden frame to hold the tray so it could rest on the bed easily.  

Setting to work, I started on the scrambled eggs and the pancakes first, since they would take the longest. Ideally, I wanted everything ready about the same time. There’s nothing worse than a cold breakfast after all.  

I’m not the best cook in all of Equestria, but I can get by well enough. Mum taught me a fair bit of basic cooking before I left for university, and when I gently broached my idea for AJ’s present to Pinkie Pie, I found myself stallion handled into a cooking lesson that even Twilight would describe as intensive. As such, I managed to get through my cooking without too many hiccups.  

Okay, fine, I burnt the first round of toast. At least I didn’t turn it into a liquid. To this day, I’ve still no idea how Sweetie Belle managed that.  

With the scrambled eggs done, I spooned them onto the toast. The bread was home made, courtesy of Granny Smith. I was lucky living on the farm; it gave me access to quite the range of fresh produce. The apples for the apple pancakes and apple juice were, of course, fresh from the orchards. The eggs came from the hens we had. In fact, the only things that were store bought was the oatmeal, flour and the bicarbonate of soda. Even the butter and milk came from the cows that lived on Sweet Apple Acres. If this were back on Earth, you’d be going to Waitrose and looking at a pretty hefty price tag, so I thanked my lucky stars that I was able to do all this for less then ten bits all told.

The smell of breakfast soon wafted upstairs and I heard hooves on the floorboards. For a moment, I feared that Applejack had woken up early, thus ruining my romantic gesture. Luckily, after listening a moment longer, I realised that they were the light steps of a filly; it was Apple Bloom.  

Having got forty winks herself, she was now wide awake again and ready to start the day. I was just glad that this year Hearts and Hooves Day fell on a Saturday. It wouldn’t have been right to rope Apple Bloom into these shenanigans and then have her spend a full day at school. Walking into the kitchen, she helped herself to a bowl of cereal.  

“Mornin’, AB,” I said, keeping my voice a little below normal volume, just in case. “How ya feelin’.” Apple Bloom let out a yawn, looking a bit like a cat as she did so.  

“Not too bad, Bones,” she replied after a moment. “Nothin’ a little coffee won’t fix.”

She reached out for the pot of coffee that I’d left sitting on the table; my primary source of staying awake. Before she could grab it though, I picked it up in my magic and levitated it out of her reach.  

“Apple Bloom,” I warned half seriously. “Ya know ya ain’t allowed coffee just yet.”  

The filly seems to have an obsession with the stuff, likely because she’s so rarely had any and she’s not allowed to have it. Whenever the opportunity presents itself, she’ll try to get a sip or two. I tried to stop the behaviour a few months back. Thinking it would be like little kids and alcohol, I let her have a taste. I figured she’d dislike the bitter brew and lose interest. Instead, I ended up dealing with a very hyper active filly for the next hour or so; not an experience I care to repeat.  

Apple Bloom pouted as the pot flew away and out of her grasp. It was replaced with a glass of apple juice.  

“Aw, c’mon, Bones,” she implored, putting on her best pleading face. I did my best to harden my heart against the torrent of adorableness.  

“When you’re older, AB,” I said, standing firm. “Anyway, what are you and your friends up to today?” Apple Bloom shrugged.  

“Ah don’t know. Ah reckon we’ll just hang out together. Ah never did get all the mushy stuff that comes with Hearts and Hooves Day.” There’s a filly after my own heart. “We’ll probably just hang out at the clubhouse before we head to Sweetie Belle’s.”

“Oh, what ya doing there?” I asked as I stirred the oatmeal. Apple Bloom rolled her eyes.

“Don’t ya remember, Bones?” she asked curiously. “Ah’m havin’ a sleepover with Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo tonight.” I pondered that.

“Ah guess it’ll be just me, Applejack and Granny Smith then,” I said, thinking out loud. Again though, Apple Bloom shook her head.  

“Nuh-uh,” she countered. “Granny Smith is goin’ to visit Golden Delicious today. She’ll be back around the same time Big Macintosh gets home.” My eyes went wide as the penny dropped.  

“So, wait a minute, nopony’s gonna be here except me and Applejack until tomorrow?” Apple Bloom nodded.  

“Yeah, Ah guess so. Why, is that a problem or somethin’?” I quickly back tracked.  

“No, no, AB,” I said hurriedly. “That’s fine. Ah guess it had just slipped my mind.”

With that, having finished her breakfast, Apple Bloom scampered out of the house and headed off to Ponyville. Granny Smith would be leaving sometime around noon, which wouldn’t be a problem, as I planned to be away from the house then. 

Still, it was a pleasant turn of events. I was glad enough that Mac was away, but I’d figured that I’d need to restrict my plans a little due to the rest of the family being around. Now though, it seemed as though fate had intervened, and the two of us would have the farm to ourselves. I quietly looked up at the ceiling and spoke to whatever being had just granted me such a boon.  

“Thank you!” I all but squeed quietly.  





With all the dishes complete, I arranged everything onto the tray. I once again found myself glad I was using magic instead of arms. While it would take concentration to keep it all level as I walked upstairs, it wasn’t nearly as taxing as physically carrying it all. As a finishing touch, I took an empty soda bottle, poured a bit of water in, and turned it into a makeshift flower pot for a couple flowers. It made the whole thing just a bit more aesthetically pleasing.  

Taking one last look at it all, I satisfied myself that I’d done my best and that everything was properly prepared. Lifting the tray in the dark blue aura of my magic, I headed up the stairs. I’ve been living here long enough to know to skip the fifth one, since the board has a tendency to squeak, even though Mac or I have replaced it each more times that I can remember.  

Reaching the top landing, I made my way along the hall. The sun had come up about fifteen minutes ago, and passing my room, I saw the sunlight streaming in through the east facing window, casting beautiful rays on the floor.  

Coming to Applejack’s room, I paused and put my ear to the door listening. There was no sound; she was still asleep. Opening the door with a free hoof, I carefully made my way inside.  

Inside, the curtains were still drawn and the room was a little dark. But I could make everything out, including the bed where AJ was still sleeping peacefully. I was glad her body clock hadn’t woken her up too early. Back when I was in school, for the first few weeks of the summer break I’d wake up at half seven because I’d just gotten used to the routine. Treading carefully, I placed the breakfast on a nearby sideboard and tiptoed, or whatever the pony equivalent is, over to the side of her bed. She looked so peaceful. I was tempted to let her sleep even longer. But there was no sense in letting breakfast go cold, particularly as Equestria doesn’t have microwaves.

Leaning close, I gently nuzzled her, softly poking her a couple times with my snout. After a few moments, her eyes fluttered open as she slowly woke up. I couldn’t help but smile at how beautiful she looked.  

“Mornin’, sleepy head,” I said kindly. Applejack groaned a little and rubbed her eyes with a hoof.

“Bones?” she mumbled, still not quite awake. “What are...what are y’all doin’ in here?”

“Ah brought ya breakfast,” I replied, still keeping my voice low. “Ah figured since ya were gonna sleep in for a bit…” I didn’t get to finish that sentence. Applejack shot up with a start.

“Sleep in?!” she exclaimed. She took a quick look at the clock; it was just before ten.

“Oh horseapples!” she said, throwing off the covers. “Thanks for gettin’ me up, Bones. C’mon, give me a hoof downstairs. Ah’ve gotta…” Now I cut her off.  

Gently holding her with my magic, which actually took a little effort until she calmed down, I carefully levitated her back into bed. I arranged her pillows to let her sit upright more comfortably and pulled the sheets back over her.  

“Relax, AJ. Ah already took care of it,” I said reassuringly, secretly enjoying the perplexed look on her face.

“Wha...what?” she asked, still confused. I smiled and gently nuzzled her again.

“Ah said Ah took care of it,” I repeated, before adding. “Well, me and AB. We both got up early and handled all your chores for the day. Ah figured y’all deserved a day off for once to enjoy yourself.”

Activating my magic again, I brought over the breakfast tray. Applejack’s eyes went wide in surprise.  

“Here, Ah made ya somethin’ to eat,” I said, setting the tray down.  

Applejack looked absolutely gobsmacked. I honestly think she hadn’t quite come to at the point. She looked quite different in the morning. She was without her usual stetson hat, and her mane hung loose around her withers, instead of its usual ponytail.  

“Wow, Bones,” she said at the sight of the spread. “What’s all this for?” I sat myself on the edge of her bed.  

“What? Can’t a stallion surprise his marefriend every once in a while. Y’all have been runnin’ yourself ragged this past month. Y’all deserved a day to relax, specially today.” For a moment, Applejack looked puzzled.  

“Er, today?” she asked, tilted her head to one side.  

Now, normally, a coltfriend, or marefriend would be pretty cheesed off if their significant other forgot an important date like Hearts and Hooves Day. But I didn’t particularly mind. Today wasn’t about me; it was for AJ. Besides, neither of us had paid much attention to things like anniversaires before. Plus, you can see it a little weird. Today wasn’t an anniversary of marriage or anything like that, it was a bit more subtle.  

“Today,” I said softly, leaning closer to her. “Was the day, not so long ago, that you and I got together.” Applejack’s eyes sparkled as the memory kicked in.  

It was certainly an odd day. It actually started pretty normal. In fact I was planning to stay on the farm to avoid any of the Hearts and Hooves Day madness that was going on in Ponyville. I knew that Applejack liked me. It had taken Rarity not so politely telling me, but I’d figured it out. That had sent me spirallin a bit. Back then, I thought I was aromantic as well as asexual. And rather than simply tell AJ that I wasn’t interested, I buried my head in the sand.

So for a couple months, we had this odd relationship, where neither side was sure what the other wanted. In the end, Rarity and my dad could stand it no longer. On Hearts and Hooves Day no less, they drafted in one Princess Mi Amore Cadenza of the Crystal Empire. After a lot of effort, she talked some sense into me; helped me realise that, while I was asexual, I wasn’t aromantic, and I did love AJ, and it was wrong to just keep her in the dark as I was.  

And that day...I told Applejack that I loved her, in my own unusual way. And then somehow, I didn’t screw it up and I’ve been with her ever since.  

Like I said before though, it has been a weird relationship. Applejack, as far as I know, isn’t asexual. But like me, she doesn’t exactly buy into the whole idea of love. Until she met me, I don’t think any stallion had caught her eye. She certainly hadn’t taken much interest in that asshole Trenderhoof when he not so subtly tried to woo her. I don’t know what on earth she saw in me, but we clicked. After all, we’re still together now.  

But for the past few weeks, I’ve had this thought buzzing around in my head. The notion that, through my asexuality, I wasn’t being a good coltfriend to her, that I was too distant. I wanted to do something to show her just how much I cared for her.

And so I began to plan today.  





Applejack enjoyed her breakfast in bed, a mixture of surprised and impressed I think. I’ve lent a hoof or horn to cooking a few times, pitching in whenever I can, but I think we can all agree that breakfast in bed takes a bit more work. And usually, when i’m cooking for the family, I’ve got Granny Smith or AJ herself helping out.

The two of us chatted together in her room for a while. She was, of course, eager to know just how long I’d been planning this little surprise for her. In truth, it had been several weeks in the works. I told her how I’d managed to secure Apple Bloom’s help and the effort I’d gone to to make sure that there was nothing for her to do today. My motivations though, I kept secret; this was her day after all.  

It was great to spend time with AJ like this. Just the two of us, with nothing to think about; no work schedules to meet, no plans to worry about. We could just sit there together on her bed and relax. She snuggled herself close to me, and I soon found myself held in her iron grip. That’s another thing that makes our relationship a little odd; while I may have the edge when it comes to magic, AJ is much stronger than me physically, a fact I would soon find myself reminded of.

Applejack however, is not someone who spends their day lazing about in bed. Even with a day off, she still likes to be active, to do something; it’s just her nature. I’m the same really. If you send me on holiday to ‘relax’, by the time I get back, I’ll need a holiday from the holiday. I’d factored this into my little scheme to make AJ’s day perfect. I don’t claim to be an expert when it comes to love or romance, hence why I went to Rarity for half of this.   





I stood in Carousel Boutique, with Rarity sitting on one of her couches. I’d left Sweet Apple Acres on the pretense of having my hat repaired. In actuality though, I was going to her for some advice on matters of the heart.  

Despite her own single status, nopony in Ponyville knows more about romance than Rarity does. And I was sure that she would have some ideas for me. You see, I may have got it into my head that I needed to do something for AJ, but for the life of me, my inexperienced asexual brain hadn’t got a clue where to start. I explained as such to Rarity and, after a bit of gentle teasing on her part, she agreed to help out.  

“Oh darling, it’s a wonderful idea,” she said gleefully. “I’m sure Applejack will be thrilled when you sweep her off her hooves. All you need is some grand gesture.” Seeing that she was about to start going on for the next while, I held up a hoof to stop her.  

“Rarity, ya know how both me and AJ are,” I said imploringly. “She won’t want some big showy display. Ah just want to do something that shows her that Ah love her. Even if Ah don’t always show it.”

At that last comment, I looked down at the floor and scuffed my hooves. Rarity instantly picked up on my demeanour and come over to me.  

“Oh, Blade Star,” she said consolingly. “I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that Applejack knows how much you care about her. Ponies don’t need to be constantly showering each other with gifts to prove that. Why, one only has to look at the two of you together to know that, if the barn was burning down now, you’d go charging in there to save her.” That brightened my spirits a little.  

“Still, there’s never any harm in doing something special for Hearts and Hooves Day. How about breakfast in bed?” My ears perked up at that.

“Yeah, sure. Ah could certainly do that,” I replied. “Ah could let her sleep in a little longer than normal, and then bring her breakfast. What else?” Rarity thought.

“Hmm. Well, there’s nothing wrong with simply taking a romantic walk together. And the scenery on Sweet Apple Acres is quite lovely this time of year. Maybe pack a light lunch with you and go down to that watering hole you two love.”

That did sound like a good idea. Again, it gave both of us a chance to slow down and smell the roses. As beautiful as Sweet Apple Acres is, particularly in autumn when applebucking season starts, we’re often to busy with farm work to really appreciate it.  





“A walk?” Applejack parroted. “A walk to where?” I shrugged my withers.

“Just a walk, AJ,” I replied, a little cryptically. “The two of us spend most of our days on this farm, and we never get the chance just to appreciate how beautiful it is out here. Ah packed a lunch for us an’ everythin’.” AJ thought for a moment.  

“Ah shoot, what the hay,” she said after mulling it over for a few moments. “We can bring Winona along too.”

Applejack let out a sharp whistle as we stepped out of the house. Winona’s a working dog, so she doesn’t really come in the house that much. Like most farm dogs I knew growing up, she has a dog house outside. The collie came bounding over at her owner’s call. Most of the time, we use her to help rounding up sheep or cattle that live on the farm. She’s also quite a good companion for when you have to run the stall as well, ponies, like humans, love seeing adorable dogs. On the downside, she is a collie, and while she may be smart for a dog, she can be a bit...excitable.  

Barking happily and with her tail wagging, Winona bounded over to us, all but throwing herself at AJ, who gladly made a fuss of her. Recognising that the two of us were going for ‘walkies’, the canine quickly joined us, running circles around us as we went. I’d got the saddlebags containing our lunch on, although I guess I ought to have packed a tennis ball or something to. Well, I’m sure I can find a stick for her to play with.  

And so, the three of us set off. I hadn’t said as much to AJ, but I did have a destination in mind; somewhere quite special to me. We were, in a roundabout way, heading towards the lake created by the beaver colony that lived on the farm. It was a great deep pool that was great for swimming in during the hot summer months. Not too far away from it, there was a small rise that gave you a great view of the entire western side of the farm. It was here that Princess Cadence had talked some sense into me, and where I finally admitted my feeling to AJ. It seemed like a good choice for a romantic moment together.  





We chatted as we walked, about nothing in particular. It was nice just to talk together, reminisce about past events, talk about what was going on in our lives. AJ is always curious as to my little magic projects, and I’m always fascinated by how the farm is managed and looked after. After all, I’m still learning a lot about all that.

I’d managed to find a good sturdy stick for Winona to play with. In the manner of the Border Collie, it now occupied all her thoughts. No matter how far I threw it with my magic, she’d go retrieve it and then bark excitedly until AJ or I threw it again. That got me talking about my old dogs with AJ. Back when I was a kid, we had three Border Terriers, all of which were just a touch mad like Winona.   

Before too long, we reached our destination. The weather had been in our favour today. Despite it only being the early part of spring, the trees were blooming, the grass was lush and the weather was warm, with clear skies for miles. It was mid afternoon now; we’d been walking around the farm far longer than I realised. The sun was getting a little lower in the sky, once again covering the landscape in shades of red and gold, and lighting up the few clouds that hung about with those same brilliant colours. As the sun slipped lower, shafts of light filtered through the clouds, intensifying the whole image.  

And what made it even better was the view. We were standing on that very same hilltop. The lake below was still, calm, reflecting the blue sky far above. The trees gave a bit of shade from the bright glare. And beyond all that, there was the vast green landscape of rolling hills, vibrant orchards and grassy plains.  

It was absolutely beautiful. But as corny as this may sound, the most beautiful thing in the world was standing right next to me.  

The pair of us spent ages out there, enjoying each other’s company. There was actually quite a bit to get up to out on this more remote part of the farm. The soft grass made quite the comfortable spot to sit and rest after the trip out here. There was enough shade from the sun that we didn’t get too warm. The two of us even ended up taking a dip in the lake. Between our hides and the sunshine, it was actually quite pleasant, being cold without freezing your tail clean off.  

I’m half tempted to stop writing here, as things slowly grew a little more intimate. I’ve always been a private person when it comes to matters of the heart. Still, it doesn’t hurt to remind myself of that lovely day.  

After we enjoyed a cool and relaxing swim together, we lay on the hillside and let the sunshine dry us off. Both our hats were hung in the branches of a nearby tree. In our haste to have some fun, we’d both forgotten about them, and they’d gotten soaked as a result. So, we fell into talking again, while Winona continued to happily paddle about in the lake.  

“AJ, Ah gotta know,” I said as we watched the collie playing. “How in the wide, wide realm of Equestria did a stallion like me end up with a mare as pretty as you?” Applejack laughed at my corny line.

“Y’all have been talkin’ to Rarity again, haven’t ya?” she answered, trying and failing to avoid chuckling.  

“Does it show?” I asked, doing the same. “Seriously though, ‘Jack, what was it?” Applejack thought.  

“Well,” she said at length. “Ah s’pose it was…” She trailed off, now falling into deep thought. 

“Sugarcube, the first time ya came to this farm, ya hardly knew anythin’ bout farmin’. And ya knew even less about farmin’ as a pony. “Y’all were far from home, with your whole life taken away. Ah tell ya, Ah’d have been havin’ a nervous breakdown at somethin’ like that. But you? You were willin’ to work on the farm to earn your keep. Ya listened to what me and Mac taught ya, and did all ya could to help out.  

“Ya helped with the farm, cooked every now and then, and even helped little AB with her schoolwork. Ya made our lives that little bit better when your own was in pieces. And when ya could’ve gone back to live with your folks, ya stayed here still. Ya treated all of us like family.

“Y’all were kind, honest, hard workin’, carin’...and ya sure were easy on the eyes too.” She let out a laugh at that, while I blushed at the compliment.  

“So, er, does that answer your question, sugarcube?” she asked with smile. I smiled back in response.  

“Well, ya got your answer, now me,” she went on. “Ah know y’all were buryin’ your head in the sand for ages. What finally made ya take a leap?” Ah, that question I had an answer to.  

“Simple,” I replied. “Ah realised Ah loved ya.” I smiled to myself.

“For the longest time Ah’d known girls Ah sorta liked. Ah may be asexual, but that doesn’t mean Ah’m aromantic, and a part of me wanted to be in a relationship. But Ah couldn’t bring myself to open up like that. When ya love somepony, that pony knows you, almost as well as ya know yourself. That was quite the scary thought for me; made me feel way too vulnerable. But you AJ? Ah trusted you; Ah didn’t mind y’all knowin’ me. It was comfortin’ in a way Ah’d never felt before. That was what Cadence showed me that day. Ah trusted you more than anypony else, even Luna. That was what got me to finally admit what Ah already knew.”

Applejack smiled softly at me, her green eyes sparkling in the light of the evening sun. Before I knew it, she pulled me into one of her iron grip hugs. I felt her kiss me gently on the cheek.  Pulling back slightly, I caught her in something more fitting for two ponies deeply in love.  

After a few moments we parted, and I explained the last part of my plan.  

You see, there’s a lot that falls under the umbrella term ‘asexual’. You have people who are flatout disgusted by the idea of sex or romance. Then you have people who don’t mind romance, but don’t care for sex. Then you have people like me. I don’t desire sex, and I’d be thoroughly repulsed if some random mare tried to hook up with me. But, with AJ...with her, my attitude shifted more toward ambivalence, due to our long lived relationship. I was willing to do all I could to make her happy.

So I quietly explained that, for that night, we had the farm to ourselves.
> Chapter 16 - Empty Quiver
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I won’t say too much about the day of the Friendship Festival. There’s nothing to say that hasn’t already been said. It was, without a doubt, the worst day of my life. I had nightmares for weeks afterwards. It was worse than either of the Changeling incursions, or Tirek’s escape.

I was in Canterlot at the time. I’d gone up with Applejack in an effort to expand my social circle a bit, and have a chance to see the princesses face to face.  

I still remember clearly when that first airship hove into view. I remembered one just like it all those months ago when we went on our cruise.  

After that, it’s all just a blur. Twilight thinks the memory was so traumatic that my mind has blocked it out. I have no desire to relive those events in any case. I did my best, tried to fight any way I could. Dad joined me too. Naturally, as one of Celestia’s advisors, he was in the city. I was just grateful Lizzie and Mum were back in Ponyville. There wasn’t much I could do.  

Those...vermin...had magic resistant shields, and there were too many to fight hoof to hoof. It was a lost cause.  

Still, I did not go down quietly, nor did Dad. It took them a while to finally pin us down. That was when I met her.  

At that moment, I swore by all that I held dear, that I would make that filthy, traitorous cripple pay for what she had done. By the moon, she would die screaming if I had anything to say about it! What she had done, at that moment, was beyond forgiveness, beyond redemption. All I felt was...hate. In all honesty, that’s the thing I regret about that day; I still fell back into old habits.  

Like everypony else, we were locked up in those revolting cages, like animals. Since they deemed us more dangerous, Dad and I were kept far from the others, but still together, guarded by one of those strange badger/ape creatures that served the Storm King.  

As the hours passed and it became clear that the city was occupied, my rational mind began to kick in again. Twilight and the others had gotten away. Celestia bless her, Derpy had made sure of that. They would get the Elements from Ponyville, or go to the Changelings, or the Yaks, the Crystal Empire, the Griffons. Someone would come to relieve the great city, of that I was sure.  

That helped calm me down, made me lucid, as I tried to fight the terrible images of Celestia and Luna from my mind.  





Time passed slowly over the next day or so. The sun had stopped moving. The Storm King, dangerous as he was with his army and magic stick, was not particularly bright. As I later learned his overall plan was limited to say the least. He didn’t even have the brains to know who he was screwing with. Evil I can tolerate. Stupidity, I cannot. His plan was reminiscent of Tirek that for a moment I thought the two might be in league; an idea I quickly dismissed as foolish, given his past with regards to teamwork.  

Satisfied that he would pay for his crimes, my mind fell back into its habit of planning. While I knew it was up to Twilight and the others to save the day, I had little desire to just sit around. For Celestia’s sake, those vermin had Apple Bloom; a filly who is my daughter in all but name. As shocking as the initial attack had been, my observations of these creatures showed they were relatively few in number and none too bright. Plus, the cripple had been sent off in pursuit of Twilight and the others, and she was by far the biggest threat. The remaining garrison was certainly smaller than the city’s population. If the people could rise up when the time was right...it would be like Paris in 1944; the city would liberate itself.  

First though, I needed to get out of my current confinement.  

Looking across the room, I saw Dad, similarly restrained. He was sat cross legged, his fingers formed into a steeple, which he was staring at intently. Just as I was about to call out to him, quietly of course, our guards didn’t like us chatting and had made the fact abundantly clear, he looked up.  

“Bones, I’ve got it!” he exclaimed in a shouting whisper. He’d beaten me to the punch. Before I could ask him to explain, he began shouting, loudly this time.  

“Discord!” he bellowed, getting to his feet. “I know you’re out there! I know you can hear me! Get out here right now!  We’ve got some arse to kick, old man!”

The guard stationed at the doorway snarled. Stalking over to the cage, he poked my dad hard with a spear, causing him to crumple to the floor again. He tried again.

“Discord!” He got the same punishment. After that, he went quiet again, and the guard returned to its post. After waiting a few moments, he called out to me.  

“Why the hell isn’t he coming, Bones?” he asked with a scowl. “Discord could blow away these arseholes in ten seconds flat.” I sighed and was about to reply, when I heard another voice.  

“Exactly, my old friend,” Discord said, materialising next to my dad’s cell. “And that wouldn’t be much of a friendship lesson now would it?” Dad leapt up in joy.

“Discord, get us out of here!” he snapped. The draconequus though, shook his head.

“Sorry, no can do,” he replied. My dad turned scarlet.  

“They hurt Fluttershy. They hurt Tia!” he said quietly, waving a proverbial red rag in Discord’s face. He was unmoved.  

“And I am unbelievably furious,” he replied evenly, smiling to hide his own rage. “But higher forces have compelled me to step aside.” Dad buried his head in his hands.

“The map?” he asked with a sigh. Discord nodded.  

“Relax, my friend,” he said reassuringly. “It’s a good thing. This insolent copycat has lost before he even set foot in Equestria. I saw what happened, and was about to snap my talons, when I was told to stop; high level friendship business. But I figured I at least owed you an explanation.”  

And with that, he snapped his talons and vanished.  

I had a good idea what the two of them were on about. Twilight’s map back in the castle was part of the Tree of Harmony, and it had a habit of pulling strings from beyond the veil. Dad had told me that the same thing happened that one weekend when Twilight had locked herself up in the library for re-shelving new stock. When she came out, Discord had been mean as anything to her, leading to her thinking he’d used his magic to mess with her friends’ heads or something. It was out of his usual character, and the map was the reason for that.  

Still, what he said confirmed my own beliefs. To put it simply, the Storm King and his pet unicorn couldn’t even imagine the hell that would soon fall on their heads. And for that I was glad. Still, as I said before; I had no desire to stay cooped up in here till then.  

“So now what?” I asked my dad, who looked back across to me. “Ah don’t know about you, but Ah don’t fancy waitin’ around here until Twilight and the others get back or our allies turn up. We can help fight the Storm King. And Ah for one wouldn’t mind havin’ a back up plan, just in case.”

I trusted the Tree of Harmony, and I believed in Twilight and the others. But this threat was more serious than anything we’d faced before. Sure, it was only Canterlot now, but how long would it be before this lunatic started looking elsewhere, say all of Equestria and the lands beyond? It never hurt to have an ace in the hole.  

After a few moments of thinking, my dad looked up and snapped his fingers. Smiling, he whispered to me.  

“Follow my lead,” he said. I nodded in understanding.  

With that, he started coughing and spluttering, sounding like he as death’s door. With a hoarse voice, he called out.

“Guard! Guard!” The coughing fit then resumed.  

The creature turned to look at him. It watched him for a moment, deciding whether it should intervene or not. After a few moments, it walked over to my dad’s cell again. It stared at him as he continued to cough, which now grew increasingly weak. I never realised my dad was such a good actor. He soon got worse and appeared to pass out completely.  

Moving closer, the guard pushed it’s spear through the bars and prodded him. He didn’t move. Making a faint guttural growling noise, the creature prodded him harder, moving slightly closer to the cell.  

That was enough for my dad. With a speed I didn’t know he had, he got back on his knees, grabbed the end of the spear with both hands and yanked it hard. That pulled the storm creature right into the bars. Releasing his grasp on the weapon, it clattered to the floor. The beastie tried to pull away, but Dad quickly wrapped both his arms around it, one going around it’s neck, the other covering it’s mouth so it couldn’t cry out and pulled it back close.  

The pair of them struggled for several moments. The guard was facing me, its back pinned against the bars of the cell. I could see the fear in its eyes. Nice to have the horseshoe on the other hoof, eh? Its squat form and shorter legs meant it couldn’t gain any leverage against my dad, and its arms were too short to be of any use either. After a few prolonged seconds that felt like hours, its struggling slowed and finally abated as it realised it was caught. Dad didn’t relax though. After holding on a few moments longer, he spoke quietly and calmly to the creature.  

“I’m going to take my hand away now,” he said, his voice deathly calm. “If you scream, I will break your neck. Do you understand?” The beast looked terrified now and promptly nodded.  

I was quite shocked myself actually. I never pegged my dad as the type to make a threat like that, never mind the type who knows how to put someone in a restraint. For a moment, it was as if I was looking at someone else.  

“Good boy,” he went on. “Now, you’re going to give me the key to this cell and the one my son is standing in.”  

It passed him the key in a shaking monkey paw. Dad quickly unlocked his cell and threw the keys to me. Catching them in my magic, I let myself out and ran over to help, cursing the noise my hooves made on the marble floor. Now free from his cage, Dad kept his hold on the guard and motioned for me to grab the jagged looking spear that sat on the floor. Grabbing it, Dad let him go. The beast quickly retreated to a corner of the room, whimpering like a scolded hound.  

“Thank you,” my dad said, his tone still with that same dark menace to it, as he walked over. “Now, I’m afraid I can’t leave you to go running off and tell your friends about this. So...”

And with no warning, he socked the guard right on the chin. The punch sent it sprawling on the ground, out cold, but quite alive. Dad winced, shaking his fist and clenching and unclenching it to try and get the pain to go away.  

“Impressive,” I replied, still a little shocked that my father, who I know had never so much as been in a school yard fight in his life, had just tricked, chocked out and coerced an enemy into letting us free, before knocking him out cold in one punch.

“All in the wrist, lad,” he said with a smile, now back to the friendly figure I was used to.  

We were just about to make our exit when there was a white flash of magic as something teleported into the room. It was a grey woollen shirt. A note was left with it. Picking it up, Dad read it. It was from Discord. While he was unable or unwilling to help us, he did have his moments.

“Thought you might find this useful,” Dad read. “Maybe stick on that bozo you just sparked out.”

Picking up the shirt in my magic, I opened it up. There was writing on it, which appeared to be red marker pen. I found myself smiling as I translated the English.  

“Now I have a machine gun,” I said, before adding with proper levity. “Ho...ho...ho.”

I didn’t know exactly what we were going to do, but I was planning on doing all in my power to resist this invasion and send the Storm King, Tempest Shadow and all his army fleeing back across the lines. We quickly put the shirt on the unconscious guard, threw him in Dad’s cell and locked him in before making good our escape.





Having broken loose and dealt with the one guard in our immediate vicinity (yeah, they left one guard to two prisoners after they’d worked out we were a bit more dangerous than your common or garden Canterlot snob), we quickly made our way out into the corridor. Dad’s watch said it was nine in the evening, but to my surprise, it was still light outside. The sun, though blotted out by the clouds that presently surrounded the city, forming a blockade of sorts, was clearly still up.  

“How on earth can it still be light out?” Dad asked curiously, double checking that his watch hadn’t stopped.  

“Simple,” I replied bluntly. “There’s no one able to lower it.” Again, horrible images of the princesses flashed in my mind. I did my best to suppress them. The last thing we needed was me freezing up from fear.  

And let me tell you, I was terrified.  At any moment we might be recaptured and end up just like them. I had no real plan beyond getting out of our cells. We couldn’t just go and spring everypony else. We couldn’t fight the massed army currently in the city, and I had no desire to end up on the receiving end of one of those…

Wait.

That was it! If we could get our hooves on one of those obsidian orbs, we could have a shot at knocking out the Storm King for good. Judging by their behaviour, the storm creatures wouldn’t fight without him leading them. Then the local populace might just have a fighting chance.  

I turned to tell Dad my idea, when I realised, with quite a start, that he was no longer beside me. Quickly looking around, I spotted him at the far end of the corridor, looking down the next hallway. I ran over to him, doing my best to keep my footsteps quiet. Listening with my more sensitive ears, I picked up the sound of more enemies around the corner.  

“What the hay are you doing?!” I hissed. Dad held a finger to his mouth, signalling for me to be quiet. After a few moments, I heard the creatures moving further away.  

“Trying to get to my office,” he replied. “I’ve got a plan to save all our skins and get these bastards to sod off to whatever shithole they crawled out of.” I was caught off guard again; Dad hardly ever swore, certainly not in front of me or Lizzie. Still, he had an idea.

“What is it then?” I asked. “And why do we need to go to your office?” Dad sighed in annoyance.

“Because that’s where the thing I need is,” he replied tensely. “Call it a bargaining chip, Bones. If we can get to my office, I guarantee that I can get the monkey twit to haul down his colours.”

“What thing?” I pressed curiously. Dad turned to me.

“Never you mind, just now, lad,” he said evenly. “Just trust me, okay? Unless you’ve got any better ideas.”

I was tempted to bring up my idea of getting our hands on one of those orbs. But since I had no idea where they were stored, or if there were any left, I kept quiet. Dad certainly seemed to have a better handle on things than me. Of course, there was one small problem.  

We were on the other side of the castle from Dad’s office. How were we supposed to get there without getting caught? I voiced this concern to Dad.  

“Don’t worry about that,” he said reassuringly. “Just stick on my tail, and we’ll be alright. It’s no worse than jumping the border; the local Garda are just a bit more nasty this time around.” I wasn’t sure what he meant by that last part.

So the two of us set off. Dad knew this castle like the back of his hand. Having worked here for so long, he knows all the shortcuts and hidden passages that our foes didn’t. Canterlot castle is a maze after all if you don’t know where you’re going. I could find my way from the front gate to the throne room, but without a guard or somepony else taking me, I wouldn’t be able to get anywhere else.  

A few times, we came across gaggles of enemies, and even a few imprisoned ponies. Most of them were down in the city itself, so I figured these were other castle staff. Dad confirmed this when I asked him. A couple of them were good friends of his. Although he kept his emotions under tight control, I could tell he was beyond furious.  

I still couldn’t believe he was doing this. Dad was sneaking around like Solid Snake himself (except for the cardboard box). He’d never even hinted that he knew anything about this. When this was all over, I wanted answers. You had to be in the Super Army Soldiers to know stuff like this. We even ended up going off the main drag a few times, even ending up sneaking through the castle’s ventilation system, with me using my magic to light that way.  

“Come up to Canterlot. We’ll get together, have a few laughs,” I said, trying to keep my spirits up. Dad quickly told me to shut up and keep moving.  





Eventually, we found ourselves close to Dad’s office. I’d asked him a few times precisely what his plan was, but each time, he’d told me to keep quiet, lest we find ourselves discovered. I didn’t have much idea myself. There wasn’t much in his office, aside from a bunch of legal textbooks and confidential files and letters. How was that supposed to help us fight the Storm King? My own idea may have been half baked, but it least it could work in theory.  

We were just around the corner now from the office. This part of the castle was pretty quiet. The city itself was where most of the bad guys were, along with their own version of a concentration camp, something my Dad dryly noted as another British invention; a relic from the Boer War. The throne room was busy too, since the Storm king had made that his base of operations. The rest of the castle was virtually unguarded though.  

Until now.  

There were a couple of those storm creatures stationed outside the very door we needed to get in. It was an open corridor, with no cover and ways to sneak past them. If we were spotted, they’d no doubt run off and raise the hue and cry to the whole city, and we’d be right back where we started or worse. Dad surveyed the situation and frowned, before coming back round to the relative safety the wall presented.  

“Any ideas, Bones?” he asked. He hadn’t listened to me much the entire way here. But now that he seemed stumped, he was more inclined to listen to me. And while I may be just an apple farmer, I studied military strategy. I turned to my dad.  

“If Ah remember rightly,” I said, “The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy, without fighting.” Dad rolled his eyes.  

“Thanks for that, Sun Tzu,” he replied. “But do you have anything useful to contribute.” I snorted.

“Ah’m sayin’ that one on one we can’t beat those two. Their armour stops my magic from hurtin’ them, and they’re stronger than you in a fair fight.”

“What do you suggest then?” I thought for a moment before an idea popped into my head.  

“Ah can draw them off,” I said. They can chase me for a bit, then Ah’ll use an invisibility spell to lose ‘em and come back here. Y’all can then get in your office and do whatever it is ya need to. Which is what exactly? We’ve made it this far, Ah reckon Ah deserve to know.” Dad, for the first time in a couple days, smiled at me.  

“You’ll find out when you get back here, Bones,” he said. “Trust me, it’s safer if you don’t know until the time is right.” Ah, I saw how the land lay.  

“Ya mean in case Ah get myself caught, right?” Dad nodded.  

“You’re sharp as a tack sometimes, you know that?” I balked.

“Sometimes?” He waved me off.  

“Go to it, lad,” he instructed. "I’ll hide back in this closet here. Draw them up the corridor and then make your way back. Go with God and be safe.”

“Ah’ll see ya in a minute,” I said. Dad hugged me briefly before the two of us parted, with him quietly secreting himself inside the nearby storage room.  

I meanwhile, carefully made my way around the corner and out into the open hallway. The two storm creatures had their backs to me, so at least I got the chance to have a little fun with them.  

“Hey, turkeys! Behind ya!” I called out. The two of them quickly looked up and spotted me, taking a fighting stance. “Come and get me, ya damned dirty apes!”

With that, I took off running. And like the dumb beasts they were, they followed.  





As it turns out, four legs lets you gallop a lot faster than two legs can run. With some clever twists and turns, I soon found myself well ahead of my pursuers. My plan was to get a little further ahead, making sure that I was out of sight, and then casting a quick invisibility spell. It took a lot of effort, but it was something I could manage. You set up a field around yourself and bent light around you, thereby making yourself invisible. I’d then simply let them two bozos behind me go charging past, wait a couple minutes, and then quietly sneak back to Dad. It actually reminded me of those old Assassin’s Creed games from back in the day.  

As it turned out though, fate had other plans in store for me. And our breakout had garnered more attention that my dad or I realised.  

Making a hard left, I was about to find myself some room to hole up in and wait for the bad guys to pass. Instead, I found myself staring at the bloody Storm King himself. My blood ran cold as my hooves skidded to a stop on the marble floor. Guess he wasn’t entirely as stupid as I thought he was.  

He had that stupid staff of his with him, and I knew that made him magically dangerous. He planned to fill it with the power of all four alicorns, but right now it was still plenty dangerous, able to create the current storm clouds that surrounded the city amongst other things. He was flanked on each side by several guards and I quickly found my line of retreat blocked as my pursuers caught up.

I was caught.  

“Well, well, well. What have we here?” the ape said mockingly. “Looks like one of my slaves got loose.” My sides were heaving from my gallop, so I wasn’t able to be particularly articulate and explain why I disagreed with his world conquering plans.

“Buck you!” I spat back.  

“Oh that’s not very nice, pony,” he replied evenly. His off-kilter personality sort of reminded me of Discord, back when he was still evil. “Now, I think it’s time you went back to your cell, hmm? I’ll let Tempest deal with you once she returns.”  

The guards advanced on me, moving to grab me and pin me down. Evidently they’d learnt from their last encounter with me a day before. I quickly tried to think of a way out. I couldn’t get past the small mob in front of me, there were two bad guys behind me. I couldn’t fly away or anything. But I could…

I smiled to myself. In another situation, say with changelings, I might try to shoot my way out. But with their shields and armour, magic didn’t have much effect on this lot. That didn’t however, stop it from affecting me.

And I happen to know how to teleport.  

Dad’s office was only a minute or so away. I could probably make it if I put all my energy into it. Still, I’m pretty sure they’d notice me powering up my horn. I needed to distract them, and get the guards to back away from me, lest I catch them in the teleport and either drag them with me to Dad, or lose the range I had and end up rematerialising inside a wall.  

Relaxing my posture, I gave the impression that I was surrendering, while quietly preparing myself for the teleport spell.  

“Fine. Ya caught me,” I said seethingly. I did my best to keep my smile from showing. I was going to enjoy this. “But there’s one thing you’re forgetting though.” The Storm King looked puzzled.  

“Oh?” he asked curiously. I nodded.

“Yeah,” I replied. “Ya see...Ah was wonderin’...WHAT THE HAY IS THAT?!”

My sudden shout caught them all off guard as I pointed to some unseen horror just to the right of the Storm King. They all, amazingly, actually hesitated, including the tyrant himself. That gave me just enough time to power up my horn. And with a smile and a wave, I managed to get the spell going. The last thing I saw before I went was the Storm King, now absolutely furious, realising that he’d been tricked. Thank Celestia for TV-Y.  





Luckily, my teleport worked, and I ended up right where I was supposed to be. It took its toll on me mind you. There’s a reason I don’t use teleportation unless I really have to. I certainly wouldn’t be putting up much of a fight magic wise for a couple of hours. Still, I’d gotten clean away from the Storm King. I’d faced down the scumbag who had hurt my friends and family and stuck my thumb to my nose and laughed,  

“Ha, ha! Gotcha, ya overbred monkey!” I exclaimed.  

My sudden arrival caught Dad off guard and I heard him go clattering onto the floor behind his desk. I was standing right in the middle of the room, so I quickly ran round to see what was the matter. I found Dad lying on the floor, nursing his injured back. He looked up at me with a mixture of surprise and annoyance.  

“Jesus, where did you come from?” he asked. I helped him back to his feet.  

“Got cornered,” I explained. “Had to use a teleport spell just to get away. Would you believe Ah actually ran into the big bad himself on the way here? Anyway, ya fixin’ to tell me what this plan of yours is?” Dad nodded and gestured to a large sideboard that sat in the far corner of the room. Opening one of the drawers of his desk, he passed me a brass key, which I caught in my magic.  

“Go unlock that cupboard over there,” he instructed. You’ll find something quite useful.”

As I put the key in the lock, I took a look at the key chain. Since Dad had a bunch of different keys, including ones that let him into private areas of the castle, he’s marked all of them. Curiously, this one was marked simply as ‘Plan B’.

Unlocking the sideboard, I opened the cupboard to see just what it was that my dad had been hiding. I wanted to know just how it would help an old man and a single unicorn fight a dangerous lunatic and his personal army.  

Initially, I was disappointed. The object’s size was impressive enough, but it didn’t look to be anything useful. It was a sort of barrel shaped thing, a little shorter than me, and probably weighing a little more. It tapered at both ends, with the top being round, and the bottom half having four tail fin like appendages. All in all, it looked like an old World War Two bomb upended. Activating my magic, I pulled it out into the middle of the office, Setting it down on the floor, it made a loud clang as it struck the marble floor and made Dad wince. I let out a breath, the thing had weighed a ton, and magic is just as exhausting as physical labour.  

“And just what the hay is this supposed to be?” I asked, poking at the strange object with a hoof. Now in better light, I could see it was pained dark green and had some writing on it.  

“That crazy Jack bloke Celestia put in charge of all the weirdness that comes out of the Everfree lent it to me. Apparently, it came through the rift, back when we sealed it up. The ponies didn’t know what it was, and none of them ever thought to ask me. When that Torchwood lot came across it after cataloguing everything, I asked if I could hang onto it. I’ve kept it in the office ever since.”

“Yeah, but, what is it?” I repeated. Dad let out a short laugh.  

“You’re the military expert, Bones, not me,” he replied. “I’m sure you can use your considerable intellect to figure it out.” I frowned, this was hardly the time to be playing a guessing game. For goodness sake, at any moment, the bad guys might work out where we’d gone and burst in here.

Still, Dad wasn’t going to tell me on his own, so I took a look. I turned my attention to the writing. It was fairly small and done in white paint to contrast the dark green on the rest of the exterior. I did my best to translate it, but the English didn’t make much sense.  

“Eiendom van die Republiek van Suid-Afrika*,” I read, curiously.  

I wasn’t a total expert, but that last bit was fairly obvious ‘Suid-Afrika’ was South Africa. At a best guess then, this was Afrikaans; bastardised Dutch spoken by the Boers. So whatever this was, it came from South Africa, I said as much to Dad.

“Just right, Bones,” he commended. “You see, back in the days of Apartheid, the South Africans got the idea that they needed a deterrent against communists in Angola and Mozambique. So they decided to do what the Yanks, us, the French, the Russians, the Chinese, the Indians and the Pakistanis did. They built a bomb.”  

I’m fairly certain my brain just stopped working at that point. Between hostile attack, serious personal trauma and the stress of being effectively on the run, I was just  done with today. Eventually though, I was able to come around and start, understandably panicking.  

“You’re telling me this is a nuke?!” I exclaimed. “Ya brought a nuke into Equestria?! Are y’all insane?!” Dad held up his hands reassuringly.  

“Relax, son,” he said. “You’ve got nothing to worry about. Unless it goes off. Then your worries are over.” I didn’t laugh at such dark humour. “To answer your question though, I didn’t bring it here, the rift did. I just held onto it for safe keeping. I certainly wasn’t going to trust that Harkness character with it. I told Celestia and Luna what it was, and they turned custody of the device over to me. I was planning on having it decommissioned and buried. But then this whole mess fell on our heads.”

“But the hay do y’all plan on doing with it?” I persisted. “How can an atom bomb help us fight the Storm King?” Dad shrugged his shoulders.  

“Simple,” he replied. “Either he frees the princesses and everypony else, surrenders and sods off back to wherever he came from, or I blow him and all his friends to kingdom come.” I balked.  

“You want to blow up Canterlot?! Sweet Celestia, Dad! That could cause a massive rockslide! Never mind irradiate the entire valley!” Dad rolled his eyes.

“I listed two options there, Bones,” he said. “I’m not going to blow it up, just threaten to. If it worked on the Ruskies, it’ll work on this joker.”  

I was about to tell him precisely why that was a stupid idea, when we heard voices outside in the hall. We had barely a second before the buggers burst in, spears at the ready. A bunch of storm guards quickly stormed the office and surrounded the two of us. Realising we were both caught, Dad and I put our hands, or hooves up.  

One of the guards gestured for us to move out into the hall. Dad however, was determined to follow through with his plan.  

“I don’t think so, friend,” he said in reply. “In fact, I should be the one asking you to put your weapon down. See that thing there?” He gestured to the bomb. “That’s a bomb, an explosive. If it goes off, it will vaporise this whole city, and you and your master along with it.”

The guards looked at each other for a moment, before seeming to decide to call Dad’s bluff. They advanced on us again.  

“Oh, don’t believe me huh, boyo?” Dad asked, his voice for a moment taking on something of an Irish tint. “If you lay a paw on me, I’ll detonate it. Trust me, I don’t blink.”

For effect, he reached over to an open drawer on his desk and pulled out what looked alarmingly like a detonator. That seemed to rattle them. So, we settled into an odd stalemate. Each side staring the other down, like some mad Mexicolt stand-off. After a few moments of tense silence, Dad spoke up again.

“Okay, here’s what were gonna do,” he said.

That however, was as far as he got. All of a sudden, the whole castle shook and there was an almighty crash. We all looked around anxiously as plaster fell from the ceiling. I for one, kept my eye on the infernal device that now sat in the middle of us.    

Dad took the opportunity of the confusion to bolt over the window that overlooked the city. It had been a couple of days since this whole mess started, so you can imagine my relief when he told me what he was seeing.  

“It’s Twilight’s lot!” he called out. "Spike’s going after the guards!” Then after a moment. “Ha, he’s set the bugger alight. That armour may be resistant to magic, but not flame proof.”  

That was enough for me. This was the counter attack, and I was damned if I wasn’t going to have a hoof in it. Bringing my magic to life, which had had time to recover since my teleport, I blasted the lead guard with a fire spell. While the magical energy simply bounced off, the flames quickly took and set him off running for the nearest water source. 

Dad, seeing my sudden attack, quickly joined in. With a war cry to boot, he threw himself at the other two guards, who were still shocked by their friend’s sudden flight. It quickly turned into a three way scuffle on the floor. I joined in, but was surprised to find my aid wasn’t required. About thirty seconds after the whole thing started, Dad had ended the short fight. The two storm creatures were writhing on the ground on considerable pain.  

“Seriously, how the hay do you know how to do that?” I asked, amazed and bewildered.

“Ah, that’s a story for another day, Bones,” he replied. “Now come on. It’s time we put this whole business to bed.”





Did you know that 20 kiloton yield enriched uranium gun weapon weighs about a thousand pounds? Neither did I, until I had to carry the damn thing through Canterlot Castle. Magic or no it damn near threw my back out, particularly when I had to literally run with it.  

Far below us, the city was rising up. Twilight and her friends seemed to have brought a few allies with them, though not the kind you’d expect. The storm creatures appeared to be in disarray as Spike went full on one dragon army, warding them off with his flame breath. The girls themselves were already up in the castle, unbeknownst to me at the time, helping Twilight get the Storm King’s staff. We felt the shock waves as the throne room began to fall apart, as we ran through the hallways. Dad planned to storm in there and lend a hand by forcing a surrender in the face of atomic annihilation.  

All of a sudden though, both Dad and me felt something that made us stop; sunlight.

We were passing by some of the large panoramic windows. Looking out, we saw that the storm clouds were gone. I watched with great joy as a wave of magic swept across the city. All the crystal like structures shattered, and Derpy, stuck as she was, was suddenly unpetrified. The damage that had been done to the city by the continuous storm was repaired in the blink of an eye, and I felt the stone ceiling of the castle coming back together.  

The two of us put on a burst of speed and made for the throne room.  

Well, there’s not much to tell really after that. When we got there, The princesses were free, Twilight and the others were alright and the Storm King was very much dead about two hundred feet below.  

And yes, I do mean dead. In a last ditch effort to nab Twilight, despite his defeat being imminent, regardless of all the magic he stole, he hurled one of those orbs at her. Amazingly though, it was his own vile enforcer that saved the day, Tempest Shadow got Twilight clear and leapt at the Storm King. They were both petrified in the resulting blast, only Twilight was able to save her. As it turned out, the only reason she was helping him was because he claimed he would be able to restore her severed horn. That turned out to be a lie on two counts; one, because it’s impossible to do that with magic, and two, he was a power hungry lunatic who betrayed her as soon as she served her purpose.  

So, the crisis was over. The Storm King’s forces, now free of their master, surrendered, and Tempest was taken into custody when the Royal Guard got itself organised, with the Crystal Guard, along with Shining Armor arriving as backup not too long after. I was reunited with both AJ and dear little Apple Bloom and we were back in Ponyville before long. Dad came with us to have his own reunion with Mum and Lizzie, who we hadn’t seen for the better part of three days.  

The last thing that happened was Celestia at last lowered the sun and Luna raised the moon. In the evening, the celebration began, and we had a proper friendship festival.  

But this had been a watershed moment for Equestria. And despite the victory, it would have a serious impact on the nation for some time to come.  

For one thing, we still needed to get shot of that bomb. I think the very first thing my Dad did after getting things back to normal, was see it safely disposed of. And nopony except me, Dad, Celestia and Luna would ever know anything about it.
> Chapter 17 - The Razgriz
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


When history witness a great change, Razgriz reveals itself, first as a dark demon.

As a demon, it uses its power to rain death upon the land.

And then it dies.

However, after a period of slumber, Razgriz returns.

This time, as a great hero.  






It was with a sense of supreme satisfaction that I watched the Royal Guard haul away the shattered, petrified remains of the Storm King. I believe my last words to him were; 'Oh, they're gonna have to glue you back together...in Tartarus!'. To my knowledge, that was only the second time a villain had faced the ultimate penalty, albeit it was one of his own doing. Still, it was generally accepted by all that he was dead as Caesar himself. His army turned out to be no army at all, just the unfortunate denizens of his homelands far to the south, pressed into service. With him dead, they had no desire for further conflict and had departed to their own borders.  

The hippogriffs too had returned to their Mount Aris to begin rebuilding their own nation. I must admit, I didn’t care for them. While they may have played a small part in liberating Canterlot, they were also partly responsible for this mess in the first place. You see, they came from the lands south of Equestria and had previously been allies, although reclusive ones to the kingdom in the past. But a few years back, before the show began, they’d suddenly vanished without a trace. As it turned out the same thing that happened to us, happened to them.  

The hippogriff queen used some artifact, a pearl, to transform her people into seaponies, allowing them to escape. Here’s where I take issue with them. If it could do all that, then surely it was powerful enough to defeat the Storm King. But no, they’d just fled without a fight. Worse still though, they’d become isolationist, and when Twilight and her friends discovered their hidden realm, they refused to lend any aid. They struck me as cowardly and isolationist; like Americans before the last war, content to hide under the sea while the Storm King became dangerous enough to threaten Equestria and everywhere else. And yet they’d had the balls to start celebrating back on Mount Aris like they’d won the whole thing single hoofed.  

But this is no time for pointing fingers. What happened, happened, and there’s no way to undo the past. All that mattered was that the Storm King was now a smashed lump of granite and not going to be a problem any more.  

There was only one issue that remained; Tempest Shadow, or Fizzlepop Berrytwist to use her real name instead of her dark and edgy nom de gurre. While she had come to her senses and helped Twilight out when the Storm King, rather predictably, betrayed her, she was still guilty of more than a few crimes, up to and including high treason.  

And that meant there would have to be a trial; one so important that only Celestia herself could preside over it.  





A week after the whole affair, we were all once again gathered in Canterlot for the proceedings. It was difficult really. On the one hoof, Tempest had helped save the day and had, at great risk to her own life, helped defeat the Storm King once and for all. On the other though, this honourless turncoat had petrified three of Equestria’s princesses and almost killed Luna in the same manner of the Storm King. That could not simply be swept under the rug. Celestia did not mince her words in her opening address. Tempest was in very deep trouble, and in centuries gone by would have simply been taken out in front of the castle and beheaded.  

Luckily for her though, justice has come a long way since then, sort of. You see, back on Earth, prison was supposed to mix retribution and rehabilitation, often achieving neither very well. In Equestria though, the core value is the preservation of harmony. Without harmony, the Windigoes would return someday and reduce Equestria to ruin. So their justice system is built around forgiveness and reformation instead holding grudges and seeking retribution. Most of the time, as long as a crime isn’t too serious (and let’s be honest, that list includes screwing around with the space/time continuum to get back at someone who bested you, using a dodgy magical artifact to take over a town, and using peculiar mirror magic and nearly taking over an alternate world with an army of zombies) redemption is the preferred path.  

Only the most serious of crimes and when the pony in question is beyond reformation, are more harsher sentences looked at. And by that, I mean they throw you in Tartarus for all eternity. It really is a black and white justice system when you stop and think about it.

So it’s a case of either really light and really heavy, depending on just what you did. Tempest certainly seemed to come down on the latter, but she did show that she wanted to redeem herself. And in a way, she had.  

Celestia was, as I said before, presiding over the trial, with my dad acting as her advisor. Ordinarily, Luna too would act as a second judge, given the severity of the charge. However, nopony had dared go near her chambers since she summoned Shining Armor's replacement as Captain of the Royal Guard; the idiot who had left Canterlot virtually defenceless. It had been seven hours and she still hadn't stopped shouting in the Royal Canterlot Voice. I actually had to grab a dictionary a couple times. I never realised Luna had such a colourful vocabulary, or such a command of synonyms. I don't know all the details, but the pony in question hasn't shown his face in Canterlot since he got drummed out with a decidedly dishonourable discharge.  

As things got underway, Dad stood up from his desk and read out the charge and the law in question.

“Whoever, owing allegiance to the Realm of Equestria, levies war against her, or adheres to her enemies, giving them aid and comfort within the borders of the Realm of Equestria or elsewhere, is guilty of treason and shall be exiled from the realm, or shall be imprisoned, for a term not less than five years and fined under this title but not less than the sum of ten thousand bits, and shall be incapable of holding any office within the Realm of Equestria.  

“Tempest Shadow. You are charged with having committed the crime of treason against the Realm of Equestria, contrary to the Treason Act of 135CR. How do you plead; guilty or not guilty?” The crippled unicorn got to her hooves in the dock.  

“Guilty,” she replied.  

Now, you’d be forgiven for thinking that that would be an end to the business. After all, she was remorseful, and had begun the process of reformation. Typical Equestrian law, based around Harmony would most likely see her released with a slapped wrist.  

But not everypony saw her as reformed. A lot of ponies in Canterlot still had it in for her. After all, the main reason she’d switched sides was because the Storm King turned on her, revealing that he was just using her, and had no intention of helping to restore her horn. Her defection, such as it was, could be seen more as an act of self-preservation than anything else. That would make it harder to go down the reform route as far as Celestia was concerned. You have to remember, this was a serious watershed moment for the ponies. For the first time, they realised the world beyond their borders was not necessarily a nice place.  

Celestia may be a princess, but she can’t just do as she pleases. While she answers to nopony, she still has to occasionally placate the nobility and citizens. I later learned from Dad that she wanted to just let the matter drop, but her hoof was forced by public opinion.  

Still, Celestia is a wise old mare, and has more than a few tricks up her sleeve. It was this that she planned on taking advantage of now. Since Tempest had pleaded guilty, there would be no trial per se; they’d just move right on to sentencing. Celestia turned to look at the prisoner across from her in the courtroom.  

“Tempest Shadow,” she said. “You have pleaded guilty to the crime of treason. As stated in the act, I have only two options. It is my judgement, that you shall be exiled from Equestria for a period of no less than five years, after which time, you may return to the realm once more.”

Tempest nodded in understanding and was about to turn around to be taken back into the custody of the guards, when Celestia caught everypony off guard by speaking again.  

“However,” she went on. “It would be wrong to cast you adrift outside our borders with no purpose. You have shown the beginnings of understanding the magic of friendship. To that end, I charge you to go forth beyond our borders and spread word of the magic of friendship; the force that defeated the once mighty Storm King. And when you return here, you shall receive a full pardon for your crimes.”

And that was that! Tempest was led away by the guards, and most ponies in the court were happy, including AJ and her friends. She was effectively going to do what Starswirl had done within Equestria. She would learn about the magic of friendship as she journeyed beyond our borders, and at the same time, help others learn it too, while making sure every creature and their mother knew the Storm King was dead and buried.  

Twilight went and spoke with her, asking her to write and keep in touch, offering to help out if she needed it. I kept my distance. In fact, the two of us have never met. It was for the best, since I was wrestling with my own demons.  





Twilight and the others stayed in Canterlot for the day, amid continued celebrations. It was certainly nice that there was no repair work needed. The combined magic of the princesses had sorted out all the damage, courtesy of Twilight. In fact, it was the first thing Twilight did. Undoing all the damage the attack and occupation had caused, which also had the effect of freeing the princesses. The lot of them, including Applejack, were heading back to Ponyville this evening. Apparently, Twilight had got some new project in mind for the lot of them.

I’d spent the last few days on the farm up until now. Just glad to be back in the company of AJ, Apple Bloom, Big Mac and Granny Smith. None of them were the worse for wear. Apple Bloom had endured remarkably well all things considered. She certainly enjoyed telling, what I think, is a very biased version of events where Applejack single hoofedly saved the day. I wasn’t about to take that away from her.

Personally, for the most part, I just wanted to put the whole business behind me. Yes we’d made new friends and allies, the lands to the south of Equestria were free again. But it had been damn traumatic for us. For the first couple of nights, I found myself beset by insomnia, and took to watching over AJ and Apple Bloom instead of getting rest myself. By the time of the trial though, a week later, I was beginning to relax and fall back into my old routines, returning to the tranquil life of an apple farmer.  

There was one thing that I wanted to do though, a way of me having final closure on the whole affair, and means to put the whole dreadful business behind me. And to do that, I needed to see Luna. I don’t quite know how to describe it. But I just wanted to see her, in pony, and know she was alright. If she was okay, and Celestia was okay, then I knew that all was right with Equestria.  

So I stayed in Canterlot well into the evening, when the sun set and the full moon rose. And like any good pony, I made my way to the throne room, which has actually recently been remodelled, at last giving Luna her own throne and reinforcing the return of the diarchy as the two sisters reigned side by side once more. I may have the honour of calling Luna a friend, and she me in turn, but that didn’t mean that I was going to jump the queue.  

There were a few ponies waiting to see Luna. Crisis or no, the bureaucracy continued. As she’s become more popular again as she reintegrates into the political system, Luna has picked up her fair share of hangers on and irritating paper pushers. And of course, she gets a few more personal petitioners like me.  

After a ten minute wait, the two thestral guards opened up the throne room doors and ushered me inside. And there she was, sitting on the throne, serene as ever. In keeping with proper decorum, I had to consciously stop myself from prancing up to her in excitement. Stopping at the foot of the now twin dais, I took off my stetson and bowed as custom dictated.  

“Your servant, princess,” I said. “As always.” Luna smiled at me as she got up from her throne and walked down to join me. She offered a slight bow of her own.  

“It is good to see you too, Blade Star,” she replied. Leaning forward, she extended her wings and enveloped me in a brief hug.  

“So tell me,” she asked, stepping back. “What brings you to my court?” I smiled back.

“What? Ah can’t come say hello to a friend when she’s at work?” I replied. Luna giggled. “Ah guess Ah just wanted to drop and talk for a bit.” Luna stepped away from the twin thrones and gestured for me to follow her out onto the balcony.  

It was a beautiful night out, as always whenever Luna has a hoof in things. The local weather was clear for miles around. The moon was high in the sky and at the moment was a waxing crescent. It wasn’t cold, but the night air was cool, and so the stars shone clearly, even with the light coming from the city. It was quiet down below in Canterlot proper; quiet and peaceful. Luna sat down and looked out toward a small smattering of lights that I knew to be Ponyville.  

“So, my dear friend,” she went on. “What do you wish to talk about?” I paused and scratched the back of my neck with a hoof.  

“Ah want to talk about what happened,” I said simply. Luna didn’t respond, waiting patiently for me to continue.  

“Months back, at the awards ceremony for Starlight and the others,” I said. “Y’all and me had a talk. Ya reminded me how important it is to not seek revenge, and to let go of such things.”

“I did,” Luna replied softly. “And as I recall, you destroyed your spell, FOXDIE, and made certain it would never harm anypony again.” I nodded.  

“Ah understood what ya said to me, Luna. I could see where y’all were comin’ from, and I knew y’all were right. Ah worked hard to let go of that hate, and embrace harmony and forgiveness. But this business with Tempest...well, Ah’m havin’ a hard time.”

“Because of what she did to me and my sister?” Luna prodded. I nodded again.  

“Ah know that bein’ mad at her won’t change the past. Ah know that you’re all safe and well now. And Ah know that she’s gone off to spread the magic of friendship herself. She’s earned her forgiveness from the lot of ya. An’ for the most part, Ah agree with ya. But there’s a part of me that’s still stuck in its old ways. A part of me still wants her to suffer for what she did, just as the Storm King did. A part of me wants to use Starswirl’s spell to go back in time and warn y’all before everything happened. And so Ah just can’t help but feel that, after all this time, Ah still haven’t learnt anything.”  

I hung my head. I was disappointed in myself. And I knew that what I’d just said would disappoint Luna too. That was something I never wanted to do. To my surprise though, I suddenly felt Luna softly nuzzle me. I let out a startled whiny as she withdrew.  

“I can see that you have begun to make some progress, my young friend,” she said in a commending tone. “You recognise the importance of redemption, of the second chance, and the futility of bearing a grudge.”

“But Ah still have those feelings inside me, Luna,” I replied sadly. Luna smiled.  

“And you believe my sister or I do not?” she asked curiously. I looked up at her astonishment. "Blade Star, a wise pony once said that every normal pony must be tempted, at times, to spit on his hooves, hoist the black flag, and begin slitting throats. Having those feelings of anger does not make you a bad pony. It just makes you a pony. The fact that you can recognise that is all the more encouraging.”

I smiled up at that. As I’ve said many times, Luna is to me, what Celestia is to Twilight. So to get such praise from her was most welcome. The night alicorn continued.  

“But perhaps it would be cathartic to face up to these demons?” she suggested. “There is a spell that I believe you have studied which would allow such a meeting.”

She was talking about that projection spell Twilight had come across a few months back. Actually it was one of the first things I did after the whole FOXDIE debacle. Among other things, during that experiment, I’d ‘met’ my darker self. Not evil, I might add, more like amoral. Actually, what seemed to drive him more than anything was his love and care for his friends and family, in particular Applejack and Luna.  

I didn’t particularly fancy meeting him again though; it was unsettling enough the first time. But if he was the source of the dark desires still whirling around my head, he was also the one who could lay them to rest. So, trusting that Luna would step in if anything went wrong, I agreed.  

Readying her magic, Luna blasted me with her horn. As before with Twilight, I felt no real impact from the spell. The effect however was almost instantaneous. Just as before, my shadow separated from me and sped off to the nearest wall. There is splayed itself out it stood upright, and a moment later, he stepped out of the darkness.  

He was very much as I remember him. The two of us were remarkably alike, albeit he lacked my own stetson. We had the same height, same built, same mane, coat and eye colour. But there was something about him that set him apart from me; something that made your hair stand on end. He seemed to stand a little taller than me, he seemed more confident and self-assured in everything he did, right down to the way he walked.  

As he stepped out onto the moonlit balcony, I saw his eyes instantly fix themselves on Luna. He bowed deeply, far more than I usually would, with his horn almost touching the stone tiles of the floor and got down on one of his forelegs. He remained there in that position as he spoke.

“What is thy bidding, my princess?” he asked, his voice that same deep, aristocratic tone, but now it was laced with a note of reverence.  

The both of us were caught a little off guard. From my last interaction with my darker half, I knew that he had no dark desires towards those I cared about. In fact, it seemed that my love for them all came from him, rather than my lighter side. That was what made him dangerous after all; there was no line he wouldn’t cross to protect those he cared for. I guess I should have expected that my...borderline obsession toward Luna, which I had long since cast off in favour of our friendship, would also originate from him.

Luna too was caught a little flat footed by his sudden reverence towards her. She’s worked hard since her return to set aside the image of an unreachable princess in favour of her being just herself. Even her ever devoted thestral guards have begun to liberalise these days. Still, she recovered herself quite quickly.  

“Oh...erm...rise...erm...Blade Star?” He slowly got back to his hooves and stood patiently before the night princess. Quite the contrast to the caustic reception I’d gotten.  

“You may call me that if you wish, your highness,” he went on. “But I fear it might makes things a tad confusing with the both of us here.” He turned to me, casting a withering glance in my direction.  

“Than what should I call you?” Luna asked. My darker half thought for a moment.  

“Perhaps Morning Star, your highness?” he suggested.  

“Ah see ya still haven’t given up the idea that you’re Old Scratch himself,” I commented dryly. Still, it was rather apt and fitting. Luna continued.

“Very well, Morning Star,” she said. “I take it you know why we summoned you?” He nodded.  

“You want Blade Star to talk to himself,” he replied, with a faint smile. “Ordinarily I’d say no. But as it is at the request of you, my princess, I shall oblige.” Luna smiled back.

“I am pleased that you see things that way,” she said. “I shall leave the two of you alone for now then.” Morning Star bowed again, just as deeply as before, as Luna departed, heading back into the throne room.  

“Such a majestic creature,” he said to himself as he watched her depart.  

I watched her too, and I admit that the exact same thought flashed across my mind, if only for an instant. A moment later, this Morning Star, turned around and faced me. Once again I was struck by his cold, harsh glare and felt my knees knock.  

“So, you wish to get rid of me, do you?” he asked with a sneer. “You want to just get rid of all your negative emotions?” I shook my head. That seemed to surprise him.

“No,” I replied. “That would be silly, and probably quite dangerous in the long run.”

“Then what do you want?” I shrugged my haunches.  

“Ah want to be your friend.”

That set him off. He began laughing his head off at my expense. After a few moments, he finally calmed himself down and wiped a tear from his eye. But as he looked me in the eye, he realised that I hadn’t so much as cracked a smile.  

“You’re serious?” he asked. I nodded.  

“Y’all are a part of me,” I replied. “Ah can’t just get rid of ya. Heck, Ah need ya. Y’all were the one that kept me sane when the Storm King attacked. For pony’s sake, y’all have saved my life at least ten separate times before we even came to Equestria. Ah wouldn’t be the pony Ah am without you.” I paused and rubbed the back of my neck as I thought about what to say next.  

“Ah understand why you feel what ya feel. You’re that part of me. Ya hold grudges, seek vengeance, and y’all would step way outside the bounds of morality to save ponies we care about. But you’re also the part of me that loves Applejack the most, and would do anything to protect her. You’re that part of me that looks out for AB and treats her like a surrogate daughter. And you’re the part of me that wanted to be friends with the lonely alicorn that almost everypony was scared of.

“You said it yourself, Morning Star. You’re not evil; you’re my darker half; the yang. Ah couldn’t be me without you.”

Morning Star had initially listened to my little speech with disinterest. But as I’d gone on, I’d seen his mask start to crack.  

“The last time we met, ya said that Ah could be somepony better, that Ah could be you. And Ah said that that Ah wouldn’t be me if that happened. Only now Ah realise, I already am you, just as y’all are me. We’re one and the same, just a little different; opposite sides of the same coin.” 

And for the first time since I met him, Morning Star smiled at me. I no longer felt afraid or uneasy around him. I couldn’t help but see the connection to Luna in all this. Morning Star was my Nightmare Moon, my Daybreaker. Alone, he was an amoral being that would do anything to protect those he love, and which would ultimately push them away. He was me, if I abandoned morality and my slightly odd commitment not to interfere with the events of the ‘show’. But he was still a part of me, a facet of my personality. If I set him aside, something of me would be lost.  

The unicorn was about to say something in return, when he suddenly perked up his ears. I could hear something too. It was coming from the city.  

It was singing. Ponies were still celebrating the defeat of the Storm King (and unlike ponies I use the term as a euphemism, they seem uncomfortable with saying ‘death’ or ‘killed’). Across the still night came the strains of a fairly recent song written to celebrate Luna’s return and the reunification of the diarchy, combining a thestral song and an old tune dedicated to Celestia.  

“Listen,” Morning Star said. “They’re singing down there.” He paused to listen to the music, floating on the night air. I on the other hand, couldn’t help myself. I knew the lyrics, and it was one of the most uplifting songs I knew. I started singing, while my companion kept quiet.  






Celestia bless Equestria

Raise your brilliant sun high into the sky

Stretch forth your wings and wondrous light

O’er us, your children

We, your little ponies


My singing, which I’ve been told isn’t too bad; one of the few benefits of growing up in rural Wales, also attracted the attention of Princess Luna, who silently rejoined us out on the balcony.  


Princess Luna too, protect our gallant home

Keep back demons from our dreaming sleep

O protect us, your little ponies

Protect us all, blessed ones

Protect our home, Equestria

Equestria 


That was enough for Morning Star. He could hold himself back no longer, and he joined me as the song swelled into its final verse. He had quite the set of lungs on him too, and our mixed accents gave quite the harmony.  


Ringing out from our blue heavens

From our deep seas breaking round

Over everlasting mountains

Where the echoing crags resound


Then we were both caught by surprise, as Luna too joined in for the final part.


Sounds the call to come together

And united we shall stand

Let us live and strive for friendship

In Equestria our land


Far below the singing crowds cheered as the song ended. Morning Star and I just stood and watched. It really summed everything up; harmony. That was the principle on which Equestria was founded, everything from its laws, to its rulers, and even its people. They all existed in harmony, in balance. I’d finally achieved that balance within myself.  

I turned to Luna, who was beaming at me with nothing but pride. To my surprise though, Morning Star walked back over to the far wall, where my shadow had previously been cast when he appeared.  

“Going somewhere, Morning Star?” Luna asked. He smiled and shook his head.

“No, Luna. I’ll be right here,” he replied, gesturing to me. “And thanks, Bones. You’ve given me a lot to think about.”

And with that, he stepped once again into the shadows. His form slowly faded until nothing but black remained. Then, the shadow once again slid off of the wall and soon rebound itself to me. I looked up at Luna and she smiled down at me.  

“I take it your talk was productive then?” he asked with a knowing look. I simply nodded.





Luna was kind enough to give me her version of a lift home. She teleported the two of us all the way back to Sweet Apple Acres. It was pretty late in the evening by now, and I expected Granny Smith would have set supper on the table.  

The two of us materialised in one of the orchards, about a five minute walk from the farmhouse itself. It was so quiet out here; one of the many things I liked about living out in the sticks. But it was never an unsettling quiet, you never felt uneasy in the darkness of the night. I took a moment to breathe in the cool night air, and listened to the peaceful silence, broken only by the gentle babbling of a distant stream.  

I asked Luna if she wanted to join us all for dinner. While it may not be Canterlot Castle three horseshoe quality, everypony I know has loved Granny Smith’s cooking, including Luna. Ages ago she did come by the farm. It would have been nice to have her as a guest again. Sadly though, she was forced to decline; she had a court to preside over, and dreams to guard later in the night.  

So the two of us bid farewell. After a parting hug, the lunar princess departed in the same manner she had arrived, and vanished in the flash and pop of a teleport.  

I knew where I was on the farm. Living here, it’s surprising how quickly you pick up landmarks to tell you where you are, little things, like a particular tree stump, an apple tree with a hole in the trunk, or even a particularly distinctive sapling. I knew that the farmhouse was just a short walk from here through one of the orchards. Before long, I’d come out onto one of the paths, and from there, I’d walk right back to the farmyard and the house.

With a full moon, there was more than enough light to see by. There were even lunar shadows being cast by the apple trees, so I had no need for my magic to create a light. Despite that though, the sky was full of stars. The moon was still fairly low in the sky at the moment, and so its own light didn’t drown out the starlight.  

Looking up, I was able to pick out a few constellations. While not exact, there are some similarities. Orion’s belt at least exists, although Orion himself is naturally a pony. The Ursa Major and Ursa Minor are now living animals rather than a collection of stars. But the Big Dipper exists, and thankfully still points to the North Star.  

I found myself stopping on my brief journey, just to look up at the sky. Luna only moved the moon, rather than the stars themselves, but I always credited the beauty of the night sky to her regardless.  

My thoughts turned briefly to one Fizzlepop Berrytwist. Was she looking up at the sky too, now beyond Equestria’s borders? Like me, she too was no doubt facing up to her inner demons, and her past. With luck, and perhaps a touch of magic though, by the time she returned, she would, like me, have found her own version of harmony. I felt no more anger towards her now. I would wait and see what the future would bring.  

After a while, I realised that I’d been staring up at the sky for twenty odd minutes. Applejack was probably starting to wonder where I’d gotten to. Getting back to my hooves, I broke into a light canter, and soon found myself back at the farmhouse.
> Chapter 18 - UDI
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Applejack, you can’t be serious!” I exclaimed crossly. “Ya spend enough time away from the farm as it is with those friendship quests Twilight sends y’all on. Ya can’t keep doing that and all of a sudden become a teacher! For pony’s sake, how d’ya expect me and Mac to do the entire harvest by ourselves?”

“Well me and Mac managed just fine before you came along, Bones!” AJ snapped back. “Maybe if y’all weren’t goofin’ off on your little magic projects you’d be able to get more work done!”

“Ya don’t even know the first thing about teachin’! Look at how much time my mom spends just gradin’ homework. It’s a full time job, AJ. There’s no way ya can run your classes and look after the farm. And if we don’t get a full harvest, we won’t have enough bits to get us through the winter. Or do ya actually want us to have to sell the farm just to put bread on the table?”

Couples fight, that’s a fact. Even my parents do from time to time. Applejack and I had had our fair share of disagreements. But every once in a while, you end up in a really big blowout, something that actually could do serious damage to the relationship if pushed too far. This was one of those times, and it had resulted in the two of us screaming at each other in the kitchen.  

It all started when Twilight and the others went back to the map. To their surprise, in the aftermath of the attack on Canterlot, it had expanded its range. It now showed the lands outside Equestria, mainly everything to the south of the realm, including Mount Aris, now repopulated by hippogriffs. One thing they’d all realised from their adventure, was that, outside Equestria, the magic of friendship wasn’t exactly well known. The griffons, dragons, changelings and hippogriffs didn’t really have the same grasp on it as ponies did. What did Twilight propose to do about this you ask?

Why, she decided to open her own school.  

Now, on the surface, this sounded like a good idea. Celestia after all presides over her own school for gifted unicorns, and who else knew more about friendship than Twilight? I liked the idea of her finally having a real purpose outside of her princess duties. And as I’ve said before, she and her friends were only six ponies. It would make sense if they could teach others instead of having to go all over the shop like some sort of magical A-Team.

She didn’t do that though. Instead of hiring her own staff, or maybe recruiting ponies they’d helped in the past, Twilight decided that her friends should become professors, with each teaching based on their particular element. Let me tell you what was wrong with that idea.  

Rainbow Dash already had two jobs as a Wonderbolt and as the captain of the local weather patrol my sister works with.  

Rarity had her own business at her boutique, which now included two other stores in Canterlot and Manehattan.

Pinkie Pie had her job working at Sugarcube Corner, plus all the extra works she puts in with all her party planning.  

Fluttershy spent most of her time looking after animals either at her cottage or in her wonderful new animal sanctuary, or looking after Discord.  

And Applejack had Sweet Apple Acres, her livelihood, to look after.  

And yet Twilight wanted all five of them to give up their time and work as teachers at her latest pet project. What amazed me more was that, with only a little hesitation, they’d all agreed to it. The school was now built and Twilight had even prepared a curriculum to put before the Equestrian Education Association, their equivalent to the Department of Education, which was responsible for all schools in Equestria, providing them with accreditation to ensure legitimacy and a high standard of instruction.  

While Applejack might have been on board though, I was not. Farming is not just a job you can throw on the back burner and run as a hobby. It’s a full time gig. Teaching was just the same. There was no way AJ could do both at the same time without working herself to death. And despite the fact that the Apples have been on this land for five generations, Sweet Apple Acres operates on a very fine margin, like most farms. We need to sell produce to buy food, and we need to harvest produce in order to sell it. Without AJ, there was no way we could harvest enough, and sell enough, in order to make it to next spring.  

I’d tried to be reasonable at first. I could see why she’d be attracted to the idea of teaching ponies and other creatures about honesty. Heck, in another time, I’d have given my horn to attend such an institution. But we had to be practical about these things.  

That was when we started butting heads. The both of us are stubborn as mules and we’d both begun to dig our heels in on this issue. Things had quickly descended into a shouting match. Right now we were in the kitchen.

“Applejack, Ah understand why ya want this. But ya can’t just leave the farm to play teacher!”

“Bones this is important!” she shouted back. “We can help ponies and all sort of other creatures learn about friendship together. And we need that now more than ever, ya know how the whole mess with the Storm King has got ponies spooked.”

“Friendship doesn’t buy food or warm clothes for winter, Applejack. Selling crops at the market does that!” Throwing up my hooves in annoyance, I stormed off. Actually, I wanted to get out of there before I said something stupid, and I knew Apple Bloom could hear us.  

I left AJ in the kitchen and stalked out into the farmyard in a foul temper. I ended up going for a long walk through the farm to clear my head. It was late afternoon at this point, but the sun was still plenty high in the sky. I was just so damn frustrated with her. How could she not see what was right in front of her face? Twilight’s idea, while noble, wasn’t exactly well thought out. After all, running a school is no easy job, never mind teaching at one. And nopony had ever tried anything like this. And that was before you introduced the whole powder keg of all the different creatures attending.  

That was one good point she made, I reflected. Since the Storm King incident, there’s been a small, but vocal minority of xenophobic ponies coming to the fore. Now, ponies by their nature, are distrustful of things they don’t understand. Just look at how Ponyville reacted to Zecora at first. But once that ignorance is gone, most have no problem with other species. Of late though, there’s been this small minority, mainly in Canterlot, who are vehemently opposed to any interaction with other species. They’ve got this whole ‘Equestria First’ nonsense going on. I’d like to think that we left that rubbish behind when we arrived here. But no.  

But as important as it was to combat and challenge stuff like that, it still struck me as a very bad idea to have AJ just go gallivanting off like this. It’s hard enough when she’s gone for days at a time on her friendship quests.  

I was just contemplating on turning around and heading back to the farm, when I realised that I was not alone. I felt a presence, close at hoof. Turning around, I found myself face to face with Big Mac.  

And boy, did he look mad.  

“Follow me,” he said gruffly. Not wanting to tick him off any further, I obliged.  





Mac led me to a quieter part of the farm. I’ve known him for a while now, and I was fairly certain he wasn’t going to kill me. Injure, quite possibly, but not outright murder. I’m kidding of course. Mac may be AJ’s big brother, but he’s not violent like that. This is Equestria for goodness sake; the land of TV-Y. Mac is a gentle giant who uses his words, rather than his hooves to make his point. It’s one of the reasons he’s often so quiet; when he does speak, it has that much more impact.  

However, I was pretty sure that he was going to take my head off in a minute for getting into such a shouting match with his little sister. He might not be violent, but he was still, like any good big brother, myself included, fiercely protective of his siblings.  

The two of us ended up in an isolated part of the farm. The last time Mac had led me here, was when I first started going out with Applejack. He gave me ‘the talk’ as it were. We came to a collection of felled trees, with only the stumps still remaining. Mac took a seat on one of them, and gestured for me to take the one opposite. It was still fairly light out; we had a while yet before dark, so the place didn’t look too scary.  

He sat there for a few moments, staring at me in a rather unnerving way, before speaking.  

He never raised his voice. That was the worst part. You could tell he was cross, but his voice never rose above its normal tone, and his expression was as calm as ever.  

“Bones, y’all really upset Applejack just now,” he said gravely. I nodded.  

“Ah know that, Mac,” I replied. “That’s why Ah walked off. Last thing Ah wanted to do was say somethin’ Ah’d really regret. Ah just can’t make her see reason.”

“About what?” Mac asked. I threw up my forelegs.  

“This darn school project that Twilight’s startin’ up,” I explained. “It’s a nice idea, but there’s no way Applejack can teach and help out on the farm full time.”

“As Ah recall, Bones,” Mac said. “Before y’all came to Ponyville there was just me and sis, and we got along just fine. Why can’t AJ go and teach at this school and you and me look after the farm?” I smiled.

“Mac, Ah may have learned a lot from workin’ here, but Ah’m no earth pony. There’s no way Ah could replace Applejack. Even with you helpin’ out, it’d be like we had one and a half ponies. We’d never get the harvest done, never mind get all the zap apples in next month.”

Mac pondered that for a few moments, chewing the wheat stalk that he had in his mouth in deep contemplation. After a minute or so of silence, he spoke again.

“Bones,” he said, this time with more of his usual friendliness in his voice. “Me and Applejack were barely more than foals when we had to take over harvestin’. Ah wasn’t as strong as Ah was now. In fact, Ah used to talk so much that Ah hardly got any work done at all. It was Applejack who kept the farm afloat those first couple years, with a little help from Granny Smith. If she could look after this farm almost single hoofed, then Ah reckon the two of us can manage.” I perked up at that.  

Mac was very private when it came to his own past, particularly his own faults. I know there’s a reason he talks so little after all. So it was surprising how he’d opened up to me like this, considering that I was expecting to get a massive telling off on the way here.  

“Ya think so?” I asked, now a little more optimistic. Mac nodded sagely.  

“It’ll be hard work,” he warned. “Ya certainly won’t have time to go off on your magic projects with Twilight. But between the two of us, we should be able to make it through the harvest.”

I tell you, I’ve never been so glad to know that I could be wrong. I had nothing against Twilight’s idea of a friendship school; aside from maybe it being brought on a little quickly. The idea itself was sound as a pound and would benefit everypony and every creature who attended. The only reason why I saw it as not being viable was the time constraints. But if Mac was right, then AJ would be able to go. It wouldn’t be exactly ideal; I certainly didn’t like the idea of having to give up my studies, but I also didn’t want to stop AJ from chasing her dreams. The needs of the many, to quote the then Captain Spock.  

So Mac and I came to an understanding. The two of us would work together to look after the farm, with occasional help from Apple Bloom and Granny Smith. If worst came to worst, I could pitch in with my magic, since Mac wasn’t quite as obsessive about earth pony farming methods as his sister was. Plus, one thing I hadn’t considered, as an employed teacher, AJ would be bringing in a salary as well, which would certainly help compared to the somewhat unsteady income of farming.  

The pair of us headed back to the farmhouse. I quickly headed inside and went to Applejack. I apologised for shouting at her, and explained the arrangement Mac and I had come up with. She was more than pleased. And if I’m honest, so was I. I would gladly take a little hard work in exchange for making her smile.

Damn, that’s corny as all hell.   

As it turned out though, getting the school up and running was just the first in a series of hurdles that Twilight and the others would have to overcome. And it led to me meeting, without a shadow of a doubt, the most insufferable stallion I’ve ever met.  





And so, things underwent quite the change. Twilight had the school constructed not too far from her own castle, but still on the outskirts of Ponyville itself. It was a monumental building, with a design reminiscent of Twilight’s castle and the Tree of Harmony, and yet still fitting in quite nicely with Ponyville’s general aesthetic. There were several classrooms, a large library, as well as dormitories for the students, as this would be a boarding school in effect. It actually reminded me a bit of Hogwarts.  

Each of Twilight’s friends would be teaching classes around their respective element, meaning Applejack would be teaching lessons about honesty. She spent quite a bit of time with Twilight working out lesson plans.  

Before its doors had even opened though, Twilight’s new School of Friendship encountered a bit of a problem. It was Mum who actually explained it all to me when I was looking after the market stall. Being a teacher herself, I asked her if she had any advice for Applejack in the coming weeks. She told me all about the Equestrian Education Association, or EEA for short. As I mentioned earlier, they were the body responsible for academic institutions across Equestria. And in order to open the school’s doors, Twilight would need to secure accreditation from them. Mum however, was a little concerned about that.  

“I’ve had my dealings with those EEA types; they’re worse than Ofsted! Twilight’s going to be in for a hard time I can guarantee that,” she declared as I packed a few apples into a carrier bag for her.  

“Why?” I asked curiously. “Twilight’s great at following guidelines and rules like that.” Mum frowned.  

“True, but her idea for a friendship school is a bit left field, and the EEA doesn’t care for that. I remember when I first started teaching at the schoolhouse. I had to get accreditation as well. They sent three inspectors down, two were alright, but one, while he had no problem with my teaching, simply wanted to turn me down because I wasn’t a pony. I had to fight tooth and nail against that. I can’t help but worry that Twilight’s going to run into the same problem, particularly with how the school’s supposed to take in other species.”

“Well that’s the point isn’t it?” I replied. “Twilight figures that we need to spread the word about friendship. That’s the whole reason she came up with the idea.”

“Exactly, and you mark my words, my boy,” Mum said. “The EEA won’t like it one bit.”





A couple weeks later, and the school was ready to open. The place had attracted quite a crowd from all over Equestria and beyond. There were going to be the better part of a hundred students attending on the first intake. Contrary to what Mum had said though, Twilight hadn’t had too much trouble from the EEA. They’d been skeptical at first, but had agreed to her idea, and would be coming by to inspect in a few weeks time to see what progress was made. All being well, the school would then get accredited.

I ended up going in with AJ on her first day, mainly because I wanted to see what the place was like. I’d been kept pretty busy on the farm, and was about to lose a fair bit of my free time. I figured I should at least see what it was that had got my marefriend so excited.   

The campus was packed with the new arrivals. In particular, I picked out a few different species. I could see a griffon, a yak, a hippogriff, a changeling, and even a dragon. Along with these new students were representatives from their government. I picked out Thorax, the leader of the changelings, Dragon Lord Ember, as well as the prince of the Yaks. It looked like half of Equestria’s allies, old and new, were jumping on the bandwagon. And if this whole idea worked, they would take what they had learned back to their homelands, bettering everyone and quite possibly helping to see off another threat like the Storm King before he got going.  

I briefly nuzzled Applejack and wished her good luck as she trotted inside. She had her work cut out, and so did I. The next few weeks, well, to say that they were going to be hard would be an understatement.  

But, since Twilight’s idea seemed perfectly sound, and we had no idea about the near catastrophic diplomatic incident that lay ahead, we parted ways in good spirits.  





The next few weeks were trying, to say the least. On my end, the workload shot up dramatically. With Applejack teaching full time, it meant we were a pony down when it came to looking after the farm. As per Big Mac’s suggestion, we divided her chores between the the two of us. It was by no means impossible, but it was a lot more work all at once.  

My own studies in magic pretty much ground to a halt. I simply didn’t have the free time to dedicate to it. I was working far longer days now, and got back to the farmhouse completely worn out. I knew that, over time, my body would adjust to the added strain. In fact, I was already starting to see an improvement in myself due to all the extra work, which certainly wasn’t something to complain about. Still, it was a shame that I didn’t have as much time to tinker with an interesting spell. Then again, Twilight was in the same boat, with her new role as Headmare of the school, her own studies had taken a back seat to her new role as an administrator. Unlike me though, she was revelling in the job.  

It was difficult, but also rewarding in its own way. Particularly with how happy I saw it made Applejack. She came home from her first day practically bouncing on her hooves like Pinkie Pie. By the end of the first week, it was clear that the school was taking off and becoming a success. There was little doubt in my mind that they’d get accreditation from the EEA, despite what Mum had said to me before.  

However, as the weeks went by, things started to change. Twilight began to occasionally admonish her friends for stepping outside of EEA guidelines when it came to their teaching methods. It was only little things at first, but before long, it began to have an impact on the classes and the students, as well as the teachers. The lessons went from engaging, practical exercises, to tedious theory. Friendship is a wonderfully interesting subject, and something I could probably write a dissertation on. But the EEA guidelines managed to turn into something about as boring as ‘Revolution and Continuity in Political Philosophy’. And yes, I did suffer through that course for a full year (although the lecturer was actually a great guy to be fair, it was just such a dry subject).  

The effect of this change on everypony, and every creature, was rapid. Students became less engaged and grades started to drop towards inner city for-profit academy levels. The same could be said of the teachers. Applejack was now coming back to the farm looking dead tired, with dozens of papers to grade every night. And despite all the work she had, she felt like she was making no impact on her students at all. It was just a case of going through the motions.  

That of course, affected Mac and me. Whereas before, we’d been able to rally around the idea that this extra work would make AJ happy and improve the lives of all sorts of creatures. Now we were just breaking our backs over nothing it seemed. The long hours over many weeks became mentally exhausting. I fell into a routine of wake up, go to work in the fields, come home, say hi to AJ, have dinner, go to bed, repeat. I knew none of us could keep up with this forever. Sooner or later, something would have to give.  





Finally, the day of the much anticipated inspection came around. Twilight had also set up a school event at the same time. Not only would the head of the EEA be there, but so would representatives of the various nations that had sent students. They were all eager to see their progress. Mac and me had also worked our tails off in order to have some free time to attend. Like everypony else, we wanted to see what I expected to be Twilight Sparkle’s finest hour.  

That however, wasn’t what we got.  

I arrived early before the head of the EEA arrived. I was rather keen to meet him actually. I’d read up on Chancellor Neighsay the day before. He was quite the conservative, but overall appeared to be a gifted administrator. He had even had a seat on the board of governors at Celestia’s school. On paper, he looked like someone who, while pulling no punches, would also recognise good education when he saw it.  

Twilight had set up ‘Family and Friends Day’ and had invited representatives from the various species that attended her new school. That included royalty like Dragon Lord Ember, the Yak prince and Thorax, in addition to representatives from the Griffon Kingdom and the newly restored Hippogriffs. Mum was among the ponies who had gathered, along with others from Ponyville. She too was looking forward to seeing what Twilight had accomplished. Heck, if she wasn’t committed to her own students at Ponyville’s schoolhouse, I expect she might even angle for a job here herself.  I trotted up to her as I arrived.

“Hey, Mom,” I greeted, catching her attention. She turned around and smiled, having been admiring the school building.  

“Oh, hey Bones,” he replied kindly. “I haven’t seen you in an age. How have you been?” I smiled ruefully.  

“Ah’ve been busy,” I explained. “Mac and me have had to work double time to keep the farm running so Applejack can teach here.” I paused to let out a yawn. “These past few weeks have been hard on all of us. AJ’s been finidin’ it hard to teach to the EEA’s hymn-book., and Mac and me have been spendin’ most of our days out in the fields.” She nodded in understanding.  

“I had a chance to talk with Rarity a few days ago,” she said. “She told me pretty much the same thing. Twilight’s idea is sound enough, but this EEA malarkey is really turning students off of lessons. Celestia knows Cheerilee and I have to tread a fine line too. I mean heaven forbid the kids have any fun out of learning.”

At that moment, a portal opened not too far away. I’d used such a thing myself. Although after that incident with Poison Joke I’d sworn off it entirely. It took a moment to stabilise, and then there stepped out a tall, gaunt grey unicorn, with a black mane and dressed in deep red robes. He kind of looked more like a Freemason than a civil servant.  

“There’s Chancellor Neighsay himself,” Mum said, some noticeable disdain in her voice. “Let’s see what he thinks of the school that friendship built.”

Neighsay was an interesting character. Attire aside, he looked stern, like an old school master. Even at this distance I felt a slight twinge of childhood fear, recalling the times I’d been called up to the headmaster’s office. I watched as he all but stalked over to Twilight. His body language told me that he didn’t enjoy being here. I put that down to him being from Canterlot. The snobs hate coming off the mountain to pay call on us mere mortals.  

Twilight and the others were there to greet him, but curiously, I didn’t see too many students. In particular, I didn’t see any of their Affirmative Action group. Mum and me looked on as he greeted Twilight.  

Initially, though cold and sneering, Neighsay seemed relatively satisfied with Twilight’s performance. He was your classic bureaucrat in that sense. Yes the students were bunking off in droves because the classes had become so boring, but it ticked all the boxes. I’m sure he’d love working for the Department of Education back in Britain.  

Things went a bit sideways though when the wayward students returned. They’d actually all bonded really well outside of class and become good friends with one another. Unfortunately, when they came back, they were a bit...excitable. Ocellus, the changeling student, had disguised herself as some giant, and frankly terrifying, insect creature. Honestly, for a moment, I thought we were due for this week’s monster attack and was preparing to let loose with my own magic.  

Neighsay, and a lot of other ponies though the same, and promptly scattered, as the six students inadvertently did some minor to moderate damage to the new school. When the dust settled, the place was a mess. I’d pulled Mum under the cover of some nearby trees, but we were still close enough to see what went down.  

This was where Neighsay went from being a hard nosed bureaucrat, to a racist tosser. Honestly, it was worse than watching a train crash happen in front of you. It literally couldn’t have been worse. And that was before you remembered that various high ranking representatives from five different great powers were also present, including two heads of state.  

It was like throwing the Duke of Edinburgh into a meeting of the African Union. Chancellor Neighsay spewed out so much racist, xenophobic nonsense that he would made a Boer think it excessive. He criticised Twilight for allowing non-ponies to attend the school, suggesting that they might somehow use their friendship lessons against Equestria since they were all so violent and savage. I was speechless. Mum simply had a look that said ‘I told you so’. I knew she’d put up with a bit of nonsense when she got certified, but I didn’t think it could be this bad.   

So, after insulting five separate allied nations, Neighsay immediately closed down the school. Not that there was any need. The students who hadn’t already jumped ship due to the boring lessons were now promptly pulled by their parents either due to the Chancellor’s comments or because some were dumb enough to actually agree with him.  



 

After having caused a serious diplomatic incident; the sort of thing that gets embassies shut and gunboats sailing to Morocco, Neighsay prepared to leave. Twilight was absolutely heartbroken. Like me, she believes in rules, and thought that following the EEA guidelines, doing things by the book, she could create a great school that would spread the magic and teachings of friendship across the world. Instead, we came perilously close to starting a world war.  

Now, my first move was to go over and comfort poor Twilight, along with Applejack and the others. After all, it’s not easy having your hard work rendered meaningless and completely undone in less than five minutes. All of them were deeply upset, particularly Spike, since Neighsay had also pretty much insulted him to his face.  

Mum on the other hand, she had moved into a state of mind I thankfully rarely see.  

You see, with Mum, there comes a point where, after pushing her one step too far, she pushes back; hard. Neighsay had reached that point it seemed. Her existing disdain fro the EEA magnified by seeing something that we’d all hoped we’d left behind on Earth. The expression on her face could be described as a very quiet fury. I looked up and saw her storming over to the chancellor.  

“Chancellor Neighsay!” she snapped, using her teaching voice reserved solely for misbehaving students. I’m pretty sure everypony’s ears went flat against their skull purely out of foalhood reflex. Neighsay stopped in his tracks and turned back to face her, a look of mild disgust on his face.  

“Who, or should I say what, are you?” Oh, she was going to kill him.  

“My name is Margaret Owen!” she snapped back. “And I’m a teacher of twenty seven years. I work at the schoolhouse in Ponyville.” Neighsay’s eyes went wide in surprise.  

“What?!” he exclaimed. “First I find Princess Twilight’s school is taking in dangerous creatures as students, and now I discover that one of our own accredited schools has hired one to teach our vulnerable young foals!” He turned to stalk away, but Mum walked around, physically blocking his way. He might have been tall for a pony, but at 5’1, she was still noticeably taller than him, and quite able to look down her nose at him.  

“First of all,” she said, her voice now calmer. “I’m a human. I am not a ‘dangerous creature’ and nor are any of the other ‘non-ponies’ here, one of which I might add is recognised as the saviour of the Crystal Empire. Secondly, having read your mandatory guidelines, I can safely say that I’ve forgotten more about teaching children than you’ll ever know. The only thing that ran this school into the ground is your bleeding rules making any kind of innovation impossible. And furthermore, you just caused a serious diplomatic incident, which I have no doubt is already reaching Princess Celestia. What do you think she’ll do when she hears about this?” And Neighsay showed what happens when you argue with stupid people.  

“I imagine that she’ll be glad that I protected her little ponies from attack and helped see off those uncivilised savage beasts.” I swear to Celestia I heard the last straw break then as Mum’s eye twitched. Neighsay then sidestepped around my mum. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to return to Canterlot to complete my report on this disaster of a school.”

Mum glared at the retreating figure. Activating his magic, he opened up a portal and prepared to head back to the capital. She still had one parting shot though. She said something, more quietly this time, that sounded rather like ‘prat’.  

Neighsay’s and my own more sensitive equine hearing instantly picked up on the jab. Closing the portal again, he turned round with a furious look on his face. I guess nopony had ever talked back to him. I just wish there had been more ponies around to witness what happened next.  

“What did you say?!” he snarled, his horn still glowing a dull orange colour. Mum however, appeared completely nonchalant. She actually looked genuinely surprised.  

“What, Chancellor?” she asked innocently.  

“Did you just call me a prat?” he demanded crossly. Maintaining her act perfectly, Mum shook her head.

“No,” she replied simply.  

The two of them held eye contact for the longest time, with Neighsay looking for any hint of deception. Eventually though, he relented. Mum actually managed to pretty much gaslight him into thinking he’d imagined it. Reactivating his magic, he once again opened up his portal. And that was when Mum dropped them bomb. Raising her voice so it was loud enough to be heard by everypony present, she called out to him.  

“No, I called you a twat!”

And with it, everything kicked off. It ended up with me and a couple other guys pulling my Mum back, and another couple grabbing Neighsay and doing their best to talk him down. They were both absolutely screaming at each other. Mum was calling Neighsay every name under the sun and having a go at his teaching practices, while Neighsay was busy spewing Apartheid-esque propaganda that ranged from ‘other creatures are savages’ to ‘ponies are the superior race’. It was like watching Prime Minister’s Questions for all the good it did, and the sheer amount of shouting.  

Eventually, we managed to get things under control.  

“Mom! Stop it!” I roared over the din, my magic holding her fast. “Are ya trying to get yourself fired; cause that’s what Neighsay can do! Ah know ya hate his guts but for pony’s sake, take a breath and think! He ain’t worth it!”

Mum eventually did calm down, and in turn I released my magical hold on her. Although, truth be told, I was starting to get tired from the strain. Breathing heavily, Mum calmed down, still glaring at Neighsay.

“Fine,” she said with a huff.  





I ended up drawing the proverbial short straw after that, and had to do my best to try and calm Neighsay down, at least enough so that he didn’t make Mum’s or Twilight’s life any more unpleasant than he already had. I’d not seen her like that in a long time. Not since she got in a fight with a secondary school teacher who was one of those Welsh nationalists that started burning down holiday homes.  

Curiously, she wasn’t too happy with the idea of someone like that teaching.  

Still, her little outburst hadn’t exactly done anypony any favours. It certainly didn’t convince Neighsay to lift his order to shut down Twilight’s school. Her heart may have been in the right place, and she may have been speaking as a teacher, but she didn’t do much to help our case. In the end, I had to pull Dad into this mess to try and sort it out, and he managed to hammer out some sort of deal with Neighsay. I have no doubt that, while Mum wasn’t exactly a voice of reason, Princess Celestia wouldn’t be too happy with Neighsay’s performance either. I’m just glad Mum never got as far as punching him.  

With Neighsay finally gone, we were left with something of a void. The school was now shut, indefinitely. As long as it admitted non-pony students, the EEA was adamant that it would not grant accreditation. That left us with a very large, empty school building.  

For the next few days, we went back to the way things were. AJ rejoined us on the farm, making life a bit easier for me and Mac, but the both of us could tell that she was miserable. Until Twilight had started blindly following the EEA’s rules, she’d loved her new job, and now she was pining for it. I hadn’t seen her that sad since the day I first got back to Ponyville from meeting the princesses and she thought I’d gone back to Earth.  

Luckily, Twilight, in the words of my mother, had a cunning plan, and it was actually quite clever for a change, despite her choice of words.  

The school had been closed by the EEA because it didn’t meet their guidelines, and so couldn’t run as an accredited school. However, within that vast rulebook, there was nothing saying a school couldn’t operate unaccredited. It would simply lack the EEA stamp of approval and not receive any funding from them. Twilight came up with the idea to break the rules for a change, or rather, make her own.  

The School of Friendship reopened as an unaccredited, independent school. Now, normally, that conjures up images of those dodgy Islamist school you hear about that are run out of some council house in Bradford and teach kids how to mix PE4. In this case though, Twilight created her own rules to govern the way the school was run that were suited to teaching friendship. Lessons quickly returned to their enjoyable form and slowly but surely, the students started coming back, including those from outside Equestria. Even better, it would now be more like a university in terms of timetable, meaning AJ didn't spend all day there five days a week. That meant AJ could work out a better balance between the school and the farm. 

Neighsay of course, was furious, but aside from protesting, there was little he could do about the move. The papers, including the Foal Free Press, dubbed Twilight 'a little bit of a rebel', and Celestia was said to be more than pleased, and according to Dad, tore Neighsay a new one in her own quiet way for his diplomatic cock up. 

By the end of the next week, things had settled into a much more comfortable routine. Applejack helped out on the farm on her days off, and then earned us all some corn when she went in to teach her lessons. All of us had more time to rest up and not become too sleep deprived, and I was able to go back to tinkering with my occasional magic projects, the latest of which would be looking at that medallion Neighsay had used to boost his magic. My own limited powers have been the bane of my existence. It would be nice if I could find a way to increase it without going evil, mad or both. 

But anyway, what had started out as a harebrained scheme had now evolved into something that was part of our lives. Although I have to admit, I never thought Applejack would publish her first monograph before I did.
> Chapter 19 - Containment
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The cave was strange. It was as if somepony had carved it out by hoof, instead of being formed centuries ago. It was almost as if it was designed to house the unsettling container within. The whole place was lit with an unearthly glow, giving just enough light to see by, even without my magic. It was fascinating, in a strange sort of way. I was honestly surprised that Twilight or one of the other princesses hadn’t had the whole thing demolished and removed. This sort of magic still had the potential to be dangerous. Conversely, it could also be quite useful. I turned to the pony standing beside me.

“Well, what do ya think, Captain?” I asked. He nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, this will definitely do nicely,” he agreed. “It certainly beats the units we’ve got now. Any idea how to move it?” I smiled and shook my head.

“Not a clue.”

The stallion next to me pulled his dark blue RAF overcoat around himself. While caves have some natural warmth, it was still pretty cold in here. Walking over to the huge vault, Captain Harkness examined it closely.  

“It looks like each container is its own separate section,” he said, tapping at the glass with a hoof. “We could probably just take it apart, piece by piece and then get it back to the Hub; fix it up.”

“Ah’ll head on back to the village then; see if Big Mac can help out.” Jack smiled.  

“There’s thinking with your head, Bones,” he commended. “Say hi to the big guy for me, will ya?”

I suppose I should explain what’s going on here. It all started when Applejack and Granny Smith told us about their planned trip.





“Las Pegasus?” I exclaimed in surprise. “Granny, what it the name of Sam Houston himself do ya wanna go there for?”

We were all sitting around the table in the kitchen on Sweet Apple Acres. AJ, me, Macm and Apple Bloom were at the table, waiting for dinner to be ready, while Granny Smith, the ancient Apple matriarch, put the finishing touches on the meal.  

“Granny Smith loves goin’ to Las Pegasus,” Applejack explained. “She and her friends have been goin’ up there for years now.” Granny Smith nodded as she walked over to join us.

“That’s right, ya little whipper snapper,” she agreed. “Me and the Golden Horseshoe Gals have been visitin’ Las Pegasus every few years, whenever we could save up enough bits.”

“Golden Horseshoe Gals?” I asked, almost not wanting to know the answer.  

“It’s a group Granny Smith and a few of her friends set up,” Apple Bloom said.  

“Oh, so when are ya goin then?” I asked Granny. The old mare chuckled.  

“Ya mean, when are we goin, don’t ya, Bones?” she replied.

“What?” I exclaimed. Applejack shrugged her shoulders.  

“Well, Ah sure as hay can’t take her this year, what with the new school and all, and Big Macintosh is headin’ down to visit Sugar Belle. That leaves just you, Bones.”

Oh dear sweet Luna, no! If Las Pegasus was anything like Vegas back home, I was in for a rough old time. A city of bright lights and loud noises isn’t really suited for an introverted old sod. And when you add onto the chaperoning a bunch of OAPs around the place, you had a recipe for a bad old time.  

“Applejack, surely ya can’t be serious,” I implored, but AJ just smiled.  

“Of course, Ah’m serious, sugarcube,”  she replied, before smugly adding. “And don’t call me Shirley.”

I tried to think of some excuse, or other way to get out of it, but nothing came to mind. I was going to be stuck in a city built on the concept of sensory overload, along with a gaggle of old timers that I’d need to wait on hand and foot.  

I was just about to agree, albeit reluctantly, when salvation came strolling through the door. In the form of one Captain Harkness.  

“Hey there, everypony,” he greeted, catching us all of guard as he walked in through the open door.  

“Captain,” I greeted neutrally. I hadn’t seen the rogue ex-time agent turned pegasus since Celestia set him up in the old castle. Last I’d heard, he’d been tinkering with that staff the Storm King had owned, trying to find a way to reattach it to the Tree of Harmony.  

“What brings y’all here?” Applejack asked. As the Element of Honesty, she doesn’t exactly hold Jack in high regard, treating him with suspicion due to his propensity for lying through his teeth. Well, that and that one time he tried to hit on Big Mac.  

“I was looking for Bones here,” he replied, turning to me. “I need somepony with a good understanding of magic for a project I’m running.”

“Ah’m not for hire,” I replied. “Certainly not for Torchwood.”

At that moment, I felt a sharp kick under the table. The only pony sitting next to me was Mac. The red coated stallion quietly leaned over and whispered.  

“Ya idiot, he could get ya out of havin’ to go to Las Pegasus!” he half shouted, half whispered. I came to that realisation with a start. Unfortunately, Jack heard him too.  

“Oh, so you’re going to the city of casinos are you?” he asked. Apple Bloom jumped in.  

“He’s takin’ Granny Smith and her friends there,” she elaborated. Jack looked up and caught Granny Smith’s eye. He smiled in that oh so annoyingly smug way of his.  

“Well, Bones aren’t you the lucky boy,” he said jokingly. I shuddered, which only egged him on more. “Oh you people and your outdated social norms. Age is just a number.” I resisted the urge to just blast him with my magic.  

“If Ah help you, will ya stop talkin?” I all but begged. Jack smiled again.

“But I thought you said you had to go to Las Pegasus with Granny Smith here?”

“He does,” Applejack agreed, with some annoyance in her voice. “What do ya even need Bones for anyway?” Jack shrugged.

“Well, Princess Twilight’s busy on one of her little pet projects with Starlight. But she did tell me that you know almost as much about magic as she does. Plus, she said something about this being’ an interesting research project’.” That got my attention.  

“What is it?” I asked.

“Torchwood’s already got quite the collection of artifacts. Most of them are pretty dangerous. Unfortunately, we don’t really have the gear we need to safely store them. Twilight said that there was some sort of vault not too far from that village Starlight used to live in.”

“The cutie mark vault?” I asked. Jack nodded.  

“That’s the one,” he replied. “So, are you in?”

I found myself caught between the captain and Applejack. Living here and watching all those episodes of the show meant I easily knew what I was supposed to do. And hey, I could deal with Granny Smith and her friends for a day or so. After all, the old mare cooked for us, helped make the zap apple jam, and a dozen other things we all owed her for. The least I could do was give her one day. After mulling it over a moment longer, I looked up.

“Sorry, Captain,” I said, with some degree of sympathy. “But Ah’m afraid Ah’ve got my hooves full here. Maybe go and see if ya can find Starswirl. He knows more about magic than almost anypony; even the princesses.”

That pretty much decided it. Jack was gracious enough about it. Taking his leave, the pegasus took off and headed back towards the Everfree Forest and the castle that now housed his base of operations. Applejack smiled at me and briefly nuzzled me.

“Thanks for that, sugarcube,” she said kindly. “Ah know how much all that magic stuff means to y’all.”

“Hey, family is family, AJ,” I replied. “And after all Granny Smith has done for me, the least Ah can do is give up one day for her.”





Granny Smith and her friends were due to leave the day after tomorrow. We’d travel up to Las Pegasus via balloon, which would dock at the city. The trip would take a couple hours. Honestly, I was expecting that to be the hardest part; stuck in that small basket with three old dears. At least when we arrived in Las Pegasus I could get some personal space.  

Applejack gave me a brief rundown on how things were to go, having previously taken them up to the city before. Just as with Apple Bloom, AJ was quite protective of her grandmother. The last thing she wanted was for her to get hurt. AJ you see, has a slightly warped view of how delicate Granny Smith is. She may be old but that mare can be smart as a whip and can more than look after herself when she wants to. Anyway, AJ told me to not let them out of my sight and make sure they didn’t get too excited. I could sort of understand the latter of those two. Las Pegasus is a busy, exciting place, full of bright lights, loud noises, and other things ponies with weak hearts ought to stay away from. There was nothing wrong with them having a bit of fun, but at Granny’s age, it was entirely possible to have too much of a good thing.  

Other than that though, it all seemed straightforward enough. It was only for a day or so, and when else would I get to see Las Pegasus? Actually, I don’t think I’d ever been that far out west before. I’ve been south to Appleloosa and north as far as the Crystal Empire, but never out west. And there was one other thing too.  

The last time AJ had been up to Las Pegasus, it had been on a friendship mission. She’d run into Flim and Flam; two confidence tricksters I’ve had the displeasure of running into myself when Mac and me caught them trying to sneak onto the farm a few years back. The pair of them now ran a resort in the city and were supposedly more or less reformed, at least as much as you can reform two free market capitalists. I was a little curious to see if those two hucksters had actually turned over a new leaf, or if they still needed their heads banging together.   

As it turned out though, that was not to be.  





Later that day, I was out in the orchards, as per usual, working hard to clear out a section of trees. It was only the start of the harvest season, but we were already getting quite a sizable yield from the trees. In particular, some of the younger apple trees, which had grown from the ones inhabited by the vampire fruit bats, were giving us more than their fair share. Even the usually conservative and set in her ways Applejack agreed that the short term loss of trees was now paying dividends.

I was currently working on my own. Big Mac was across the way with Apple Bloom working on the grapes. Sweet Apples Acres does more than just apples after all. In addition to its namesake, the farm also has corn, carrots, potatoes, tomatoes, and a dozen other crops. The only exception of course, being pears. I’ve been lobbying for a while to convince AJ to use some of the grapes in wine instead of just grape juice. However, she’s been a bit resistant, just as she has to Mac using some of the corn crop to make sour mash whiskey.  

Anyway, I was busily working away, bucking away at the apple trees and collecting all the apples in the baskets. Being a unicorn, I’m not as strong as Big Mac or AJ, and nor am I as skilled at applebucking, so it takes me a few more kicks to completely clear out a tree. Still, I do good work, or so I’m told. I actually find it somewhat therapeutic.

As I was picking up a few stray apples that had missed the baskets, I heard the sound of hooves cantering towards me. Looking up, I saw Applejack running over to me, a smile on her face.  

“Hey, Bones,” she hollered as she pulled up with a snort. “Guess what?”

“What, AJ?” I replied, curious. The orange mare smiled at me.  

“It looks like ya won’t need to take Granny Smith up to Las Pegasus after all.” I was surprised at that.  

“Why not?” I asked. “Did Granny cancel the trip or somethin’?” For a brief moment, I wondered if something bad might have happened. Applejack however, shook her head.    

“No, Granny and the Golden Horseshoe Gals are still goin’, only Ah’ve found somepony else to take ‘em. Ah saw yesterday that y’all were interested in what that Harkness pony was sayin’ ‘bout Starlight’s old village, and y’all have spent so much time on the farm these last few weeks since the school opened.” I smiled and cut her off.  

“Applejack, Ah’m more than happy to head on up to Las Pegasus for a day or two,” I replied. “It’s the least Ah can do after all Granny Smith’s done for me. Besides, it ain’t right to just rope somepony else into this just so Ah can go play with magic. Who did ya get anyway?”

“Rainbow Dash,” Applejack said, with a grin. “She wants to go on some fancy roller coaster in Las Pegasus and Ah volunteered to take her classes so she can go. In exchange, she has to take Granny with her. So don’t think Ah’m strong armin’ anypony into this just to get you off the hook.”

Two things came to mind at this point. One, I loved the idea of Rainbow Dash being stuck with Granny Smith and her friends all day long. I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve bucked at a tree and had a certain blue pegasus come tumbling out of it. Dash has an annoying habit of treating the trees as prime napping spots. The other though was more important.  

You see, I’m aware that this world and the show sort of co-exist. It’s hard to explain, but in short, I’ve promised not to interfere in the events of the show, unless I have no choice. I’ve been keeping track of events that could be taken as episodes to better safeguard against attack; so far it’s actually worked, I knew something was coming when Chrysalis came back for round two, I just didn’t spot it in time. And I half suspected something was coming when Twilight announced her idea for a friendship festival. The fact that AJ said that Rainbow would be going seemed to suggest that this might be an episode. After all, RD could learn a bit of humility from spending some time around Granny. That was what got me to agree with Applejack’s decision.  

So, I thanked my marefriend for the kind favour and get out of jail free card. Instead of going west to Las Pegasus, I would be heading down to Starlight’s old village with Big Mac on his usual delivery route. You wouldn’t believe how many pies get sold there. I honestly wonder if Soarin has a second home there or something. Anyway, once there, I could help Mac out, and also link up with Jack out in the mountain region outside town. It would give me an excellent opportunity to study the cutie mark vault, or what was left of it, up close.  





The next day, I got up early, actually a little earlier than usual. Starlight’s village was a bit of a slog, certainly a couple days worth of travel for an earth pony and a unicorn on foot, so Mac decided to set out as early as we could to make full use of the day. But it was easy going over mostly level ground, and at least I wouldn’t be pulling the wagon. I might have built up my strength since coming here, but I’m not sure I’d be up to that, not without a lot of puffing and wheezing before I got there.

Applejack and Apple Bloom meanwhile, both went to their respective schools, with AJ covering some of Dash’s lessons on loyalty. Rainbow meanwhile, met up with Granny Smith and her friends, and the group set off for Las Pegasus.  

That left just me and Big Mac on the farm. Granny Smith and Applejack had already cooked all the pies that were to be taken down to the village. All that was left was to load them all into the wagon and set off.  

So that was what me and Mac set to work on. It was a bit of a delicate operation, but at the same time, we were running against a clock, since Equestria has yet to develop refrigeration technology. We needed to get all the pies to their destination pretty soon. Nopony, not even recovering ex-cult members would pay good money for stale apple pies. I helped out using my magic to speed up the process. As I’ve said before, Big Mac isn’t quite as conservative as his sister when it comes to farming techniques. Between the two of us, we soon had the wagon loaded and ready to go. I meanwhile, carried a pair of saddlebags with supplies for ourselves.  

We set off just after half eight that morning, with Mac pulling the wagon, and me walking alongside him with the supplies. The trip wouldn’t be too long, but it would take a day or so, leaving me to talk to perhaps the least talkative pony in Equestria.  

Actually, Mac isn’t that bad. It’s not that he doesn’t talk, it’s that he only talks when he needs to. In the words of Mark Twain; ‘Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than speak and remove all doubt’. And trust me, Mac is far from a fool. I’d actually say he’s as smart as me, if not smarter. A lot goes on in that head of his, and I think many ponies would be quite surprised if they knew. His quietness also stems from when he and Applejack were kids, and him running his mouth got him into trouble more times than he cared to remember. So he took to choosing his words carefully.  

I actually find him quite pleasant as a travelling companion. Don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t mind somepony more talkative, like Pinkie Pie for example. But sometimes it can be nice to just have some quiet; it doesn’t mean that there’s any hostility or that anything’s wrong, nor is there a need to fill the silence. It’s one of the things that attracted to me to Sweet Apple Acres in the first place.

And so the pair of us followed the road out of Ponyville and began to make our way toward Starlight’s old village. The dirt roads were a lot more forgiving on your hooves than cobble streets or tarmac. Before too long, we’d left the peaceful (well, most of the time) little town behind us, and we were out in the countryside. The Canterhorn Valley, which was where Ponyville sat, was lush and green, and surrounded by hills and the great mountain itself. But before too long, we came out onto rolling flatlands, not too different from the mid-western United States. There were acres and acres of farmland and common land for miles around.  

As we continued on though, the fertile land began to thin out as we got closer to the Badlands. The landscape began to turn to rocky outcroppings and a more barren outlook. If you kept heading south, you’d reach the border and pass into the vast desert where that town full of weird cat creatures was. We weren’t going that far of course. We certainly wouldn’t be going into the Badlands. Last I heard, there was some suspicion that Chrysalis was hiding out there somewhere.  

On a less concerning note, we weren’t too far from the Pie’s rock farm. I’ve never visited myself, although Pinkie has said more than once that she’ll take me there to meet her family. Mac used to stop there overnight when he made his trips. But since he got involved with Sugar Belle, he’s given the place a wide berth for one reason or another. I certainly didn’t mind, I didn’t particularly fancy spending a night in the pony version of Amish country.  

Instead, in my saddlebags was packed some basic camping gear. It was actually warm enough, and dry enough that we didn’t need tents. We could just get some blankets and camp out under the stars. As the sun began to get low in the sky, Mac picked out a nice camping spot in a sheltered outcropping. After unhitching himself from the wagon, he popped off to get some firewood. I meanwhile set down my saddlebags, which were becoming quite the strain on my back by this point, I laid out our bedding for the night.  

Not everything could be put in the saddlebags though, so some some of our supplies had gone in the wagon with the pies. It was while I was rooting for all this stuff that I noticed Mac had brought something unusual with him. Sitting near the front of the wagon, hidden under the cover, was a guitar.  

Both Mac and AJ can play the instrument. Not professionally mind you, more as just a hobby, something to listen to on a quiet evening. I guess Mac must have been planning to play something for Sugar Belle, the old romantic.  

I played a little myself. Applejack had taught me a while back. I wasn’t brilliant, but I could play pretty well for a creature with no fingers. I could reasonably play a few songs here and there, mostly campfire songs that I picked up. Factor in my decent singing voice, and I can be quite good round the campfire. I even managed to wow Pinkie when I taught her’ The Campfire Song’ song. Now if only she hadn’t started singing it ad nauseam.  

Putting that particular memory from my mind, I picked up the guitar and took a seat on one of the boulders in the little camp ground. Since there was little else to do until Mac got back with the firewood, I decided to play a little. I remembered a song from a favourite game of mine; Firewatch.  


I'm headed off to Ol' Shoshone
Where the birds and the bees won't know me
Where men and the war don't exist no more
And there ain't no gals to keep no score 



I'm taking off for the woods
To a place where there ain't no shoulds
Don't need no books, I'll ponder the ponderosas
Don't need no lady, I'll marry the mariposas 



I can't waste no time in getting there
I'll do eighty down eighty without a prayer
Don't need no gal, I'll spruce up for the spruces
Don't need no pal, I'll change my mood for the mooses  





I'm headed off to Ol' Shoshone
Where the birds and the bees won't know me
Where men and the war don't exist no more
And there ain't no gals to keep no score



If you're wondering where's my ass been
It's been cavorting amongst the aspens
Don't need no grass, I'll get altered among the alders
Don't need no mass, I'll grovel before the boulders 



I'm headed off to Ol' Shoshone
Where the birds and the bees won't know me
Where men and the war don't exist no more
And there ain't no gals to keep no score 



I'm headed off to Ol' Shoshone
Where the elk and the owls won't know me
Where there ain't no judges to whom I gotta plea
Because I can be me in Ol' Shoshone 


As I finished playing, I realised I wasn’t alone. Mac had come back at some point and was sitting quietly, listening to me play. I started for a moment, feeling a little guilty about using his guitar. Still, the red stallion didn’t seem to mind.  

“That’s a nice song right there, Bones,” he commented as he set down the firewood he’d found and began to lay a campfire. “Ah can’t say Ah ever heard it before now.”

“It’s somethin’ from Earth, Mac,” I replied, sitting the guitar down to lean against the parked wagon. “Just got in my head how quiet it’s been today is all.”

“Makes sense for whoever wrote that song,” Mac said with a nod. “When a feller comes back from war, Ah reckon he wouldn’t be able to get enough of the silence.”

That was true. After the attack on Canterlot, I’d been shook up as all hell. Until I went to see Luna, I wasn’t exactly in a good place; not PTSD, but something close to it. I didn’t sleep as much because of my bad dreams, and took to just sitting up, keeping an eye on AJ and Apple Bloom. I’d find myself sitting outside on a cool clear night, just enjoying the quiet, hearing nothing but the gentle breeze and the sound of some distant brook. Maybe that was part of the reason I liked Sweet Apple Acres. I had friends, heck I had family there. But if I wanted, I could just go and disappear for a while among the apple trees and be by myself, with nothing but nature for miles around.  

I let Mac’s comment hang in the air. I suppose he too could sort of identify with the lyrics. While neither of us had been to war, he’d been through one of the worst traumas a pony can endure; the loss of family. Like me, Mac can at times just keep to himself. He’ll often go work on ploughing the fields himself on his own for hours. And then of course, there’s how reticent he can be. I suppose it’s our way of coping with things. Some ponies, like AJ, run to their friends when they’re in trouble, hurt or sad, whereas ponies like Mac or me, tend to just go off for a while and sort it out on our own. Maybe it’s a guy thing? I don’t know.  

Anyway, we spent that night camping out under the stars. It was kind of like being a kid again. I never got in the Scouts; too long a waiting list where I lived, but I figured this was the sort of thing they’d do. It gave me a chance to brush up on my bushcraft at any rate. I even decided to forgo my magic and get the fire going with plain old flint and steel. The pair of us shared a basic meal over the fire before turning in. We’d be setting off early again tomorrow, although the trip would be much shorter, Mac reckoned we’d arrive in Starlight’s old village at around ten in the morning.  





We made it to the village early the next morning. I wasn’t too sure what to expect from the former compound, but it was actually quite pleasant. There was certainly no giant balloon things roaming about stopping anypony escaping. In fact, the village seemed like any other frontier town; small and basic, but perfectly livable. It was only one street effectively, with a row of houses and shops on either side, and Starlight’s old house, now made over into the town hall at the far end.  

Mac and I pulled up in front of Sugar Belle’s shop and the pair of us began to unload our shipment. Mac’s marefriend came running out as soon as she saw him. I hadn’t actually met Sugar Belle before now. Living so far away, it was rare for her to come up to Ponyville. She seemed a nice enough mare though, and Mac was plainly head over heels. He introduced me to her briefly, and the pair of us finished unloading.  

With that done, the two of us split up for the day. Big Mac would stay in town to spend some time with Sugar Belle. I on the other hoof, had a little bit further to go. I’d asked Sugar Belle about Captain Jack while we were unloading the wagon. He’d gotten here a couple days prior; wings being faster than the fleetest of foot after all. After introducing himself to the town in his usual way, he’d gone out to the mountains outside of town and started looking through the caves. It was there that I’d find him.

So I left Mac and his marefriend and, after grabbing a coffee and a snack for the road, I set off out of town to go and see the vault for myself.  





I found myself feeling as though I’d crossed into the Griffon Kingdom. The path I was on was a rather perilous mountain goat path, with a sheer drop on the left side. All around me were jagged mountain peaks, with hardly any vegetation for miles; just dirt and rocks. Apparently, Pinkie’s sister Maud had spent some time up here in the past.

Luckily for me, I was able to pick up Jack’s trail and followed his hoofprints. I quietly thanked Celestia that he hadn’t flown all the way. The vault was certainly tucked away. The whole area was one vast system of caves, and hasn’t really been well charted. After all, that was how Twilight and the others first lost Starlight, when she disappeared into the cave network. Following the tracks though, I soon found myself where I wanted to be.

I’d been finding my way using my horn as a torch. This far into the cave, daylight was long gone. As I rounded a corner though, I spotted an ethereal glow up ahead. It steadily got brighter, to the point that I didn’t need to use my magic any more. Finally, I found myself in the large chamber that held the vault.

It was badly damaged of course. All of the containers had been smashed open in one way or another. It was repairable though. Each container was about the size of a safety deposit box, and all linked together creating a huge wall. I shuddered at the thought that once it held the cutie marks of dozens of ponies. Don’t get me wrong, Starlight has definitely come around to the side of good, but that’s pretty screwed up when you consider just how much a cutie mark makes up a pony’s identity.  

I saw Jack standing before the huge vault, looking up in a mixture of fascination and morbid horror. I trotted over to join him, and the two of us talked about what we could do with this carcass. As I was about to head back to the village to enlist Mac’s help, I paused and found my eyes once again drawn to that unearthly glow.  

“Ya know it’s lucky this thing is more or less salvageable,” Jack said. There’s no way anypony in Torchwood could build this thing from scratch.” Smiling to myself, I called back down the passageway.  

“Starlight Glimmer was able to build this in a cave!” I faux bellowed. “With a box of scraps!” That got Jack to laugh.  

Heading back outside, I retraced my steps back to meet up with Mac. We could use his help to remove a few of the more salvageable units, and then load them onto his wagon to transport back to Ponyville. From there, Jack would take them back to the old castle. Failing that, I could just borrow the now empty wagon and haul the stuff myself. This might be interesting, but I didn’t plan on taking him away from his marefriend, considering that they don’t see each other too often. Before too long, I was back in town.





I caught up with Big Mac in town. The romantic old dog that he is, he’d helped Sugar Belle with a spot of DIY in her shop; fixing a few shelves, stopping one of the door hinges from squeaking and helping her move some of her inventory up out of the storerooms. Now, somewhat worn out, he was simply taking some time with Sugar Belle. There was no way I was going to pull him away from that.

Still, I decided it was probably best if I told him before I borrowed his wagon. Trotting inside, I did my best to keep my interruption as brief as possible. Stepping in, I found the two of them sitting down at one of the tables sharing lunch. It was kind of adorable to see Mac so head over heels. I hadn’t seen anypony’s eyes go that dopey since Shining got hypnotised by Chrysalis.

“Say, Mac,” I said, catching his attention and sadly pulling him back to reality. “The captain and me want to haul a few bits of that vault thing back to Ponyville. Mind if Ah borrow the wagon? Ah’ll haul it back for ya.” C’mon, as if I’d ask him to pull it himself.  

“Yeah, sure, Bones,” he replied. “Just watch yourself on those narrow paths.”

“And be careful of that vault too,” Sugar Belle added. “I know it’s all broken up now, but I still can’t stand to think of it.” I nodded in agreement, remembering the feeling of unease I’d had from just looking at the damn thing.  

Heading back outside, I found the wagon parked out in front of the shop. After taking a moment to adjust the harness, which at that point was adapted for Mac’s size, I hooked myself up and set off back up to the vault.  

The trip wasn’t too bad. The wind had begun to pick up, and the wagon swayed badly, and on occasion, I even felt it pull slightly as the wind hit its sides and pushed it one way or another. It certainly didn’t make the trip back to the vault easy, but it was far from dangerous. At least, that’s what I told myself as I kept my eyes fixed on the route ahead and didn’t dare look at the drop off to my right.  

Honestly, it was like that episode of Top Gear when they were in Bolivia and driving along Death Road. You certainly didn’t feel safe.  

Getting back into the cave, which was large enough for me to take the wagon into made things a little easier, and noticeably safer. I must have been sweating buckets when I got there, and white as a sheet, since the first thing Jack did when I got there was ask if I was alright.  

While I’d been gone, he’d managed to pry loose a few of the more salvageable boxes and had them sitting on the ground, waiting. Between the two of us, we made fairly short work of loading them up. They were surprisingly light considering their size. As I said before, each one was large enough to hold a cutie mark, so about the size of a safe deposit box you might find in a bank.  

Loaded up, the pair of us headed back down to the town again. What was left of Starlight’s dark creation was fairly secure. Few ponies knew about its existence, and without the necessary spell, nopony would be forcibly removing cutie marks any time soon. As creepy as the vault was, it wasn’t dark magic or evil in its own right. It was just a collection of boxes. It was nice though that some were now being re-purposed for a better use.  





Mac and I ended up spending the night in Starlight’s old village. Well, I got a hotel and Mac stayed over at Sugar Belle’s. Hardly a surprise, right? The next morning, we started on our way back to Ponyville, arriving the following morning. Captain Jack was waiting for us just outside of Ponyville with a few of his lackeys to collect his new storage equipment.  

Interestingly, he was kind enough to let me take one of them myself, saying that he figured I could probably use one. It was true in a way. I may not have any deadly, powerful magical artifacts, but I do have a few things I’m reluctant about keeping simply in a locked drawer of my desk. Maybe I could practice some DIY with AJ and built a wall safe or something?  

After that, we both headed home. Granny Smith had come back from Las Pegasus with Rainbow Dash, and had quite the story to tell. A good chunk of it would make for a good friendship lesson

Other parts of it though, I really wish I hadn’t heard.
> Chapter 20 - White Alicorns Can't Act
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next week was a rather special occasion for everypony. It was an anniversary, a very unusual one, but an anniversary nonetheless. This week would mark 1,111th anniversary of Princess Celestia raising the sun for the first time, when she and Luna first took over stewardship of the sun and moon, relieving the ancient unicorn council of their responsibilities. And let me tell you, considering that each time a group of unicorns raised the sun, it completely depleted their magic permanently, it wasn’t before time. That day had also marked when Starswirl himself crowned the pair as princesses, and authority was passed to them, creating the political system we recognise today.  

It had been Pinkie Pie of all ponies who had come across this interesting piece of knowledge. It was certainly a surprise to me. It was also quite interesting too. If Luna literally was banished for one thousand years precisely, then based on this, the two sisters had reigned for just over a century before Luna’s fall. It was an interesting tidbit of knowledge to somepony like me who has a keen interest in ancient Equestria, a period that has until recently, been pretty much lost to history.  

Now, Pinkie had obviously run to tell Twilight about the upcoming special occasion, or one-versary as she called it. As the undisputed master when it comes to parties, the alicorn had partially deferred to the earth pony in regards to how to celebrate it. Between the two of them, they’d come up with the idea. They would put on a play for the princess, telling the story of how she first came to raise the sun that first day over eleven centuries ago.  

Twilight had promptly gone up to Canterlot Castle to invite the princess down to Ponyville. Her plan was to rope her new students in as actors in the play, teaching them a little bit about Equestrian history in the process, particularly her six star pupils. Celestia of course, was more than happy to indulge her own former student and readily agreed to attend. I was surprised to learn that Celestia herself is quite the fan of plays.  

I’m not quite sure why, but despite my close friendship with Luna, I’ve always seen Celestia as a princess, rather than just another pony. It’s understandable in a way I suppose. Most of Equestria looks up to her as a sort of surrogate mother, even in adulthood. But there was something novel in Twilight’s description of the usual regal and serene diarch prancing about her throne room in foal-like glee at the idea of a play.  

You see, in addition to admiring plays and cherishing the fine art of thespianism, Celestia herself is an aspiring actress. As a filly, long before film reels or other forms of entertainment, plays were a mainstay, and she longed to take part in one. However, despite her lack of years, by then she was already learning and preparing for her eventual duty, spending much of her time under Starswirl’s instruction. So, she never really had the time to indulge in such things. Even now, it is rare she has a moment to indulge herself.

Seeing her chance to finally live out her dream though, she made a request of Twilight. She asked if she could play herself in this play. The little alicorn instantly agreed, overjoyed to have a chance to work with her old mentor as a friend, stepping outside the old relationship of teacher and student.  

And so, Celestia came down to Ponyville to start preparations for the play. Now, you’d think that playing yourself would be quite easy, wouldn’t you? Okay, you still have to learn your lines and hit your marks, but you’ve already got the character sorted out.  

Unfortunately, that wasn’t how things went. Celestia you see, can’t act for toffee. I’ve seen six year olds in Christmas school plays with more talent that her. She may be a political genius, a gifted magic user, and a maternal figure for all of Equestria, but she was not destined for a career on the stage. I know it sounds harsh, but it’s the truth. It was honestly quite painful to watch. You see, I happened to be hanging around, helping out AJ with getting the set and everything else ready for the show, while Twilight, who was acting as the director of the play, was auditioning Celestia.  

It was the grand finale of the play. This was the moment Celestia took over from the unicorn council and raised the sun for the first time, sending a vast blast of magic across the realm in the process. She was surrounded by Twilight’s Affirmative Action students, who were dressed as Starswirl the Bearded, and the various members of the unicorn council.  

The scene called for just one line. All Celestia had to say was ‘It is time for a new day in Equestria’. She would then activate her magic and raise the ‘sun’, which I think was a giant gold disco ball that would be hoisted up through the stage. Not exactly a tricky scene.

Well, not unless your name is Princess Celestia it seems.

Let’s see, where to begin. On her first go, Celestia was far too quiet. You’d have thought that being a public figure for a little over a millennia and a sole ruler for almost as long, she’d have developed a good speaking voice for the stage. But despite her many eloquent speeches over the years, when put on stage, she was about as audible as Fluttershy used to be when Twilight first came to Ponyville.

The pained look on Twilight’s face was pretty obvious, as was the same look on all of her fellow actors faces. Still, Twilight put it down to first time nerves. Happens to everypony sometimes, right?  

So, like any good director, she directed Celestia to up the volume a little to cope with the acoustics of an open air stage. That pushed us nicely into the realm of the Royal Canterlot Voice. It took about five minutes or so for everypony’s ears to stop ringing. From there, things stopped being funny. Despite Twilight’s aid, Celestia just could not get the line right. It was, in a way, almost impressive, the sheer number of ways she had to flub up just one line. Too quiet, too loud, too quick, too slow, too monotone. Honestly, I should have stepped up and just asked her to say ‘What are you doing here?’ just to finish flogging a dead horse.  

As funny as it was though, it was clear that Twilight was conflicted about what to do. The simplest thing, and what AJ in her guise as ever blunt Element of Honesty suggested, was to tell Celestia that she shouldn’t give up her day job, and recast Fluttershy in the role. But there was no way Twilight was willing to do that, seeing as how it would really hurt Celestia. So the debacle continued.  





I had to leave not long after that to go and and pick up Apple Bloom from school. I ran into Mum while I was there. For obvious reasons though, I kept what was happening under my hat. Hardly anypony in town knew about the play at the moment. If worst came to worst, we could just scrub the whole shebang. Still, I wasn’t about to pass up the chance to say hi to her.  

“Come on, Apple Bloom. We ain’t got all day, little missy,” I said good naturedly as the little filly grabbed her saddlebags and said bye to her friends for the day.  

“All right, Bones. Hold your horses,” she replied as she cantered over to me. I stifled a chuckle at the once familiar and banal turn of phrase. I was standing on the edge of the playground, waiting for her to walk her home. As she reached me though, Mum came out of the schoolhouse.

“Hang on a minute, Apple Bloom,” she called out, a couple sheets of paper in her hand. “You forgot  your geography homework.” The filly’s ears wilted as Mum came over, not looking forward to the prospect of more work at home.  

Activating my magic for a moment, I took the pieces of paper out of Mum’s hand and levitated them over to Apple Bloom’s saddlebags. A quick glance told me it wasn’t anything too excessive; a half hours work at most. Apple Bloom, spotting Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, quickly scampered off to go and play with them.  

“Thanks, Mom,” I said smiling up at her as she came over. “How was school today anyway? AB doin’ okay?”

“Oh, as good as gold,” she replied kindly. “She’s really come a long way with her maths too.”

“Math,” I gently reminded her.  

“Hey, there’s been an ‘S’ there as long as I can remember. And unless Celestia herself tells me otherwise, I’ll keep calling it maths. And one of these days I’ll teach them how to say aluminium properly too.” We both laughed at that. I was about to catch up with her for a bit, when all of a sudden another pony joined the conversation.  

“I think you’ll find, Margaret,” Celestia said in her calm, serene way. “That in Equestria, we do indeed say math. And I’d rather you not confuse any foals.” If we’d been drinking anything, we’d have no doubt spat it out in surprise.  

In any case, we both promptly turned around and found ourselves face to face with Princess Celestia. The both of us, mainly out of surprise, fell back on old protocol and offered a quick bow or curtsy as gender dictated.  

“Princess Celestia!” Mum exclaimed in surprise. “How...how wonderful to see you!” While I have never known Celestia to be mean, you couldn’t help but feel like your boss had just caught you badmouthing them. Luckily, the solar alicorn was forgiving.  

“It is a pleasure to see you too,” she replied, before turning to address me as well. “And hello to you too, Blade Star.” I touched the brim of my hat. 

“Your highness,” I said in a greeting tone. “How’s the play goin'?” The alicorn smiled.

“Very well, thank you,” she said with a nod of her head. “I haven’t had this much fun in years. Twilight’s even arranged for me to take some acting lessons at her school.” Had she now?  

“Hang on,” Mum broke in. “What's this play she's on about, Bones?” I quickly explained Twilight’s plan to celebrate Celestia’s one-versary. Celestia continued.  

“Yes, we’ve just finished rehearsals for the day. I even get to take part in one of the dance numbers!”  

I have to admit, seeing the usually cool, calm, and collected Celestia so overcome with such foal-like glee did warm my heart. Mum had to do her best to suppress a chuckle. It was just positively adorable.  

Celestia stayed to chat a little while longer, before heading off towards the school, something that has now become something of a familiar sight on the Ponyville skyline, alongside Twilight’s castle. I too said bye to Mum and with Apple Bloom at my side, I headed back to Sweet Apple Acres.  





I spent a bit of the early evening with Apple Bloom. After I managed to drag her away from her friends and convinced her to get her homework out of the way, she managed to make light work of it. At dinner Big Mac grumbled about me taking his job from him. I merely teased back that helping AB with her schoolwork worked on a first come, first serve basis.  

Mac has simmered down a lot these past few months. He’s still adamant about keeping a hallway between me and Applejack (not that I ever let that stop me; self levitation spells I’ve found are great for getting past squeaky floorboards undetected), but I think he’s finally coming around to accepting the idea of me and his little sister as a couple. His other source of vague disdain is me playing father figure, or at least big brother figure, to Apple Bloom. Still, it’s not like he really holds it against me. At this point, it’s more a case of him occasionally poking me, just to remind me who’s boss around here.  

In all seriousness, I think we’ve reached as close a peace as a protective big brother and a coltfriend to his little sister can. He’s never going to do anything to upset the proverbial apple cart, lest Applejack come down on his head for being so overprotective (pot and kettle I say on that front). I actually get along with him quite well most of the time. And really, unless I do something insanely stupid that hurts or upsets AJ, he’ll keep that same demeanour of a gentle giant he always has.  

After dinner, I chatted with AJ about the play, and learned things weren’t going as well as I’d hoped. Heck, they were actually getting worse by the sounds of it. She told me all about it as we relaxed in the living room.

“So, there we all are,” she was saying. “All the students are up on stage with the princess, and she can’t even keep time. And it ain’t like half a beat off or somethin’. Anypony could see she was out of sync with everypony else. Twilight was just about to stop everythin’ for the day, when Celestia accidentally drops the whole cast through the trap door. The sun prop got ruined as well. So now we have to rebuild the set, fix the costumes, and somehow get Celestia’s actin’ skills up to par.”  

“Why not just postpone the play if ya need to, AJ?” I suggested, pointing out the obvious solution. “It ain’t like nopony knows about it.” Applejack shook her head.

“They do now,” she replied. “Ya can thank Rainbow Dash for that. The damn mare went off all over the place tellin' ponies about it. So now we have to put on a play, and on time too.”

“Well, what did Twilight say?” Applejack took off her hat and briefly ran a hoof through her mane.  

“She doesn’t want to tell Celestia how bad she is. This is somethin’ she’s wanted to do since she was a filly. Twi can’t crush her dream like that. Ah’ve tried to tell her it may be the only way, but she won’t listen.”

If Twilight has a failing, it’s that, when it comes to Celestia, she sometimes throws all reason and logic out of the window. Just look at that whole disaster with the parasprites, or her crazy little breakdown when she was late on a friendship report, or even her ‘test’ in the Crystal Empire. Like it or not, the truth was bound to come out sooner or later. Either Twilight told Celestia the truth, or the poor mare might be humiliated in front of a hundred or so of her subjects. Twilight clearly had rose tinted glasses on right now though. I tried to offer some form of encouragement.  

“Celestia said that Twilight had gotten somepony to be her actin’ coach. Maybe she just needs somepony to teach her. After all, none of y’all are actors.” Applejack paused for a moment and starred into the fire that burned in the fireplace.  

“Ah hope you’re right, Bones,” she said at length. “But Ah’m not sure even professionals can help with how bad her actin’ is.” I tried to cheer her up.

“Well, it could be worse, AJ. Ya could be stuck with me, with my four left feet. And Ah’m not much of an actor. Celestia can act, she just doesn’t know it yet. Think about it; most of her time as a princess is spent actin’ for somepony or other.”

Despite my efforts though, Applejack remained concerned. I was too if I’m honest. Twilight was pretty much stuck between a rock and a hard place. Either she had to tell her mentor that she was a poor actor and have her played by somepony else, or push on and see Celestia make a fool of herself in front of everypony. Neither of those were pleasant scenarios, and I certainly didn’t envy her position.

I went to bed that night concerned for both alicorn princesses.  





I found myself standing in the now somewhat familiar starlit fields of the dreamscape. I didn’t used to dream that much when I was human. If I dreamt of anything, it was always indistinct flashes, images and sounds, with little tying them together. Only on very rare occasions did these coalesce into any sort of narrative or scenario, and all to often, that resulted in a nightmare for me.  

But since coming to Equestria, I’ve found myself dreaming a great deal more, with greater details and memory. The pictures seem sharper, more defined, sounds and smells are clearer, and I even find myself experience the feeling of touching something in dreams. Above all else though, my dreaming has been far more lucid since coming to Equestria. Opening my eyes here in the dreamscape, I knew almost instantly where I was. I knew that I was dreaming, and was thus almost instantly endowed with omnipotence.  

Standing on the pathway made up of stars and stellar debris, I waited for Luna to appear. If I was in the dreamscape itself, that meant I had been pulled out of my own dream, which in turn meant that she wanted to talk.  

I know she does it with quite a few ponies, as her way of connecting with her subjects, but I can’t help but feel special for it. I am but one of her many friends, but I’ll always take some small amount of pride at the idea that I’m on first name basis with a princess. A princess who was presently the ruler of Equestria.  

She appeared as she so often does, seeming to fade into existence before me. And as always there was that kindly, reassuring smile on her features. I offered a brief bow in greeting.

“Hey there, Luna,” I said happily. It was always a treat to get to spend some time with her, particularly as, given how time works in a dream, we could talk for hours if we wanted to, without restricting her nightly duties.  

“Hello, Blade Star,” she replied, her voice having a slight echoing quality to it; a result of her projecting herself into the dreamscape. “How have you been?”

“Oh, ya know me, Luna. Sound as a pound as my old man would say.”

Luna was oddly quiet tonight. Usually, once we’d met up in the dreamscape, she’d have me think up somewhere for us to go for the night to talk and have some fun. Tonight, she seemed rather pensive.  

“Somethin’ wrong?” I asked in a concerned tone. The alicorn nodded her head.

“It is my sister,” she said after a moment. “I hadn’t realised it myself, but tomorrow will be quite the special occasion for her. It marks the day she first raised the sun all those moons ago.”

“Yeah, Ah heard about that,” I replied. “Twilight’s puttin’ on a show down in Ponyville to commemorate it, with Celestia playin’ herself.” Luna’s ears splayed at that and she frowned.  

“It is that which concerns me, my friend,” she said. “You see...my sister is...well, her acting skills are...”

“Not that great?” I offered gently. Luna nodded.  

“I’ve never understood how a pony who seemingly spends much of her life putting on an act can do so poorly when asked to perform the exact same feat for entertainment.”  

“Ah take it ya heard about how the rehearsals have been goin’ then?”

“Of course. My sister told me herself. She actually seemed quite proud of it. I couldn’t bring myself to contradict her.” I frowned and looked over to her as the two of us continued to walk along the glittering path.  

“Twilight can’t bring herself to say somethin’ neither,” I explained. “You know how she looks up to Celestia.”

“In the same manner in which you look up to me, my little pony?” Luna asked in a teasing tone. I let out a laugh. To be fair though, she was right in that regard.  

“Very true,” I agreed. “Well, hopefully the old adage will hold true; ‘a bad dress rehearsal leads to a great opening night’.” Luna nodded.

“Indeed,” she said. “I shall be there in any case. The anniversary of our ascension to the throne remains a national holiday, so I shan’t be holding court that evening. I believe we shall just have to hope that all goes well.”

The two of us spent the rest of the night catching up on less alarming matters. Luna was telling me how Flash Magnus, one of the old pillars, had been appointed as the new Captain of the Royal Guard. He’d apparently taken the place by storm and gone on a major recruitment drive and major retraining. Nopony wanted to see a repeat of the attack on the city. Although Celestia knows that if they hadn’t all been given the day off they’d have probably stood a decent chance of beating the bastards off. As we saw, those Storm creatures weren’t too good in a fair fight.   

Eventually, it came time for the two of us to part ways. The play would be performed tomorrow evening. Thanks to Rainbow Dash, ponies from Canterlot would be attending, alongside Ponyville residents, as well as Luna herself. If nothing else, I looked forward to that. That last time I’d seen Luna it had been just to calm my mind after the attack on Canterlot. It would be nice to see her in a more peaceful setting. Although having said that, tomorrow could prove to be absolutely catastrophic, at least from a political standpoint. Well, the only pony who could do anything about that was Celestia.  





The next day saw me away from the school and the outdoor stage until well into the evening. While I’d previously been helping out, doing basic grunt work and DIY on the stage, I still had a farm to look after. And over the last few weeks, brambles had begun to once again sprout up on the side of the farm closest to the Everfree. The beggars obviously choke the trees and reduce our overall harvest, so we need to keep trimming them back every now and again.

That was what Mac and me were up to, with a little help from Apple Bloom. It wasn’t particularly pleasant work. Even with magic, I still found myself covered in minor nicks and cuts by the end. But it needed to be done, and nopony said running an apple orchard was easy.  

And at least there were some advantages. The offcuts we had from when we were done would make good kindling for the fire. If you ask me, we ought to be using fire instead of simply trimming them back. Maybe the plants might start to take the hint instead of growing back every few weeks. It would probably make the work load a lot lighter too. A quick fire spell or two and I could do in twenty minutes what it presently takes the better part of a day to do.  

In any case, Mac, AB and I spent most of the day working away until the wild plants had been trimmed back, well away from any of the apple trees. This close to the woods, you couldn’t help but sometimes feel as though unseen eyes were watching you from within the forest. I know for a fact that occasionally, packs of timberwolves come close to the boundary. Although none have actually come out of the forest since AJ and Spike had that run in with that pack that morphed into a huge timberwolf.

The play was slated to start at eight o’clock in the evening, giving everypony plenty of time to reach Ponyville, including the star of the show herself. Applejack would be helping out with the production as before. I meanwhile would be in the audience.   

We were fortunate that it was a pleasant evening. Well, fortunate that Lizzie and her friends did what they were paid to do, I suppose. After all, weather is hardly left to chance in Equestria. Stands had been built for the audience, in order to accommodate the surprising number of guests, whilst still giving everypony present a mostly unobstructed view of the stage.  

I’ll be honest, despite their efforts, it still looked pretty ropey in light of the accident. More to the point, what were they going to use for the sun if the original prop got smashed up? As I was pondering that, I saw Luna come and take her seat, near the front. I couldn’t be certain, but a couple stallions sitting relatively close to her seemed to be keeping a watch more on her than the show. Well, they say there’s two ways for a princess to leave the castle after all, and she wasn’t wearing a baseball cap.  

The curtain would be coming up at any moment, and show would start. I’d sent AJ on her way with the time honoured tradition of ‘break a leg’. In hindsight, I think I should have chosen my words more carefully.  

Without warning, from behind the curtain, there was suddenly an almighty bang, followed by what seemed to be a bunch of fireworks going off. I later learned that that was the sun’s understudy. Pinkie had bought a load of fireworks from a certain blue unicorn showmare, and lashed them all together. She’d then lit them to make the sun ‘shine’. 

In light of that, the show’s start was somewhat delayed. Poor Spike was sent out to try and placate the crowd, only to be subjected to more than his fair share of heckling from some of the less reputable members of the audience. I seriously wondered when the first tomato would fly.  

It was then though, I spotted something. From behind the stage, I saw something white take to the skies. It was Princess Celestia, and she didn’t look too happy. I only caught a glimpse, but I could have sworn that she was crying. Luna saw it too and was about to take off herself and go after her, when Twilight also took off and went after the star of the show. It didn’t take a genius to work out what had happened. Twilight had finally taken AJ’s advice. Unfortunately, while honesty is usually the best policy, the truth does hurt, even if you’re a nigh immortal alicorn princess.  

With both the director and leading lady seeming to have fled the scene, things started to spiral, and the heckling poor Spike was receiving got worse. To his credit, he took it like a champ, although I had no idea what in Equestria they were going to do now.  

I was just considering heading backstage myself when the two alicorns returned, once again going backstage. A few minutes later, the curtain rose, and the show began, albeit with some changes. The biggest one was Celestia. She had evidently been replaced by Fluttershy. There were a few flub ups here and there as the show went on, but overall, with Spike now acting as narrator, it actually went quite well. I found myself though, wondering where the princess was. I got my answer at the grand finale.  

Instead of a prop of the sun coming up, Celestia herself raised the actual sun, bathing the whole area in the warm light of the dawn. It was quite the display really. The result was that the play was a roaring success; everypony cheered and applauded, with one noticeable exception.  

Looking down toward the front rows, I could see Luna. She was glaring, either at the newly risen sun, or at the curtain on the right hoof side of the stage. I’ve not seen her that cheesed off for quite some time. I wondered what it was she was upset about.





After the show, the crowd dispersed. While Twilight and her friends were all celebrating, along with Celestia herself, I went out in search of Luna. I’d seen her leave after the show was over, still not looking best pleased.  

Luckily, it wasn’t too hard to find her. In the early morning light, her dark blue coat made her stick out prominently against the landscape. I found her on a small hilltop about half a mile or so away from the school, still glaring angrily at the sun. Not wanting to have the wrath of the night fall on my head, I decided to step lightly.

“Er...Luna,” I called out, catching the princess’ attention. “Is everythin’ alright?” In response, Luna pointed to the sun.  

“Blade Star,” she said, sounding as though she were on her last nerve. “Tell me, what time is it?”  

“Well, it’s about half ten or so Ah’d say in the...oh.”  

Now I understood why she might be a little cheesed off. It was presently just after half past ten at night. I’d been planning to go to bed in a little while, once the show was finished. And yet there was the sun, several hours before its usual time. And we all know how Luna feels about her sister getting too much of the limelight at her expense.  

“Oh indeed,” Luna went on, slowly becoming more irritated. “As beautiful as it was, dear sister has started the day almost seven hours early. Do you have any idea the effect that has on ponies and other creatures? Their internal clocks won’t want to fall asleep and will be out of sync for days now. And once again my own night has been cut short.”

“Ah’m sure Celestia didn’t mean for you to take it like that,” I said, trying to placate her. “And ya gotta admit, it did make a nice finale to the show.” Luna scowled.

“It may be nice, Blade Star,” she replied. “But it’s also irresponsible and thoughtless of her. Showing off to a hundred or so ponies is not justification for raising the sun hours before its time and forcing my own moon down!” I frowned, this wasn’t like the Luna I knew.  

“Than maybe ya ought to go tell her that,” I suggested a little forcefully. “Celestia is many things, but she’s not omniscient. She may not even have realised that she’s upset you. It certainly does you no good just sitting here complaining to me.”

I was about to go on, feeling a little uncomfortable at lecturing a pony that I saw as a mentor and friend. However, at that moment, Luna’s expression changed from her previous angry scowl, to her usual calm look. She smiled at me.  

“Upon my word, Blade Star,” she said happily. “You certainly are taking on board Twilight’s lessons on friendship. I’m glad to see it.” Seeing my confused expression, she went on. “The last time we met, you told me how you were concerned about not retaining the lessons you had learned. I wanted to see if you had.”

“So, you’re not mad at your sister then?” I asked, relief creeping into my voice. Luna let out a laugh.

“Well, perhaps I am a little irritated, but it is only a trifle to reverse. Observe.”

Activating her magic, the sun promptly disappeared from the sky, falling back below the eastern horizon, with the moon appearing once again in the west. I was slightly taken aback at the casual use of such powerful magic.  

“There,” Luna said, with a hint of pride. “My sister’s new day in Equestria can wait its turn.”

“So, that was all just a test for me?” I asked. Luna nodded.  

“A test I can safely say you passed, Blade Star. I’ve been watching you for some time now, seeing what you’ve been getting up to. Your magic projects of late have been more steered towards difficult magical spells than anything to do with dark magic. You have worked hard to set aside feelings of anger and notions of revenge, even against former enemies of this nation. And you have even made great sacrifices to help the pony you love bring her dream to life. I am more than proud of you. And I look forward to seeing what you will achieve next.”

I’ll admit, that little speech did stroke my ego a bit. Well, that and make me let out a squee in excitement. After all, who doesn’t like getting a bit of praise from one’s commander in chief?

The two of us then returned to the school, to go and see Celestia, Twilight and the others. Celestia, ever the subtle prankster and troll, gave both me and Luna quite a shock, when she announced her intention to step down from the throne and pursue a career in theatre. She and the girls got a good laugh out of our shocked faces.

After that, the two regal sisters returned to their home in Canterlot together, leaving the rest of us to head home for the night. I told Applejack what Luna had said to me on the way back to the farm. I’d certainly come a long way from the headstrong colt who had it in for every single changeling he came across. But soon, my values would face an even tougher test as I came face to face with an old enemy, and the only person I ever killed.
> Chapter 21 - A Quiet Day in Ponyville
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I had a free afternoon to myself this Tuesday. The farm was actually pretty quiet for a change. Applejack wasn’t teaching at the school today, we were ahead on all our chores, Apple Bloom and her friends even found their own workload lighter than usual this week. We all just had time for once to relax. It was as if all of Equestria was taking a couple days off. In Ponyville, the mayoral elections had finished, with Mayor Mare winning once again by a fairly hefty landslide. In Canterlot, the court had risen and a blue green lantern now hung from the highest tower, indicating as such. The weather for the next week was clear skies, leaving the weather factory in Cloudsdale and the local patrol with little to do. All in all, things were quiet.  

I actually found myself feeling a little bored and had gone to borrow a few books from Twilight’s library. As a princess and scholar, she’s first to get her hooves on anything new in print. She actually had something rather interesting for me.  

Remember Stygian? He was one of the former Pillars of Equestria. While not a pillar in the true sense of the word, he was a very important member of their group, coming up with plans to help defeat the foes the ancient heroes faced. He’d made an ill-fated attempt to augment his magic, which had set in motion a series of events that resulted in him being almost entirely consumed by the Pony of Shadows.  

However, that was all behind him now. He had reconciled with his old friends, having been freed from the entity by the combined efforts of the elements and the pillars. As is the case with most ex-villains, he’d reformed and had like the other pillars, done his best to reintegrate into society a thousand years later. To his credit, he’d actually been quite successful, and had become a published author. Written partly as an autobiography, partly as a history text, and partly as a study of almost forgotten magic, Stygian had created a best selling book that had positively flown off the shelves.  

I could identify with Stygian quite a bit. I too had made attempts to meddle in things that ought not to be meddled with. And while my heart may have been in the right place, it had ultimately threatened to lead me down the same dark path. He was an intellectual, not physically strong or imposing, nor particularly gifted when it came to magic, but a genius nonetheless. The Pillars of Equestria would certainly have been lost without him.  

It was this account that I now found myself reading as I sat on a sofa in the Apples’ front room. He certainly had some interesting ideas, several of which had actually grown from theory to fact in his absence. Chief among these was the use of certain artifacts to augment one’s own magic.  

Now, you might think ‘Alicorn Amulet’ upon reading that. But not all artifacts are evil with potentially world ending properties. The theory itself is quite useful. An object can be imbued with magic to act as a sort of battery, storing magic in the same way a living being does. You see, a unicorn’s power is determined by how much magic they can hold in their reserves, as well as their skill in using it. For an alicorn, this reserve is extremely large, allowing them to cast spells that would completely exhaust a normal unicorn. In unicorns like Stygian or Sunburst, this reserve was much smaller, meaning that while they may understand the theory of casting a spell, they lacked the raw power to do it.  

To offset that disadvantage, Stygian proposed this idea of using certain objects as a battery. A more modern example of this would be the Equestrian Education Association medallion. Chancellor Neighsay may be many things, but at the end of the day, he is just a unicorn, and does not have enough power in his own right to frequently cast portal spells. So instead, he uses his EEA amulet to cast high level spells, occasionally topping it up with his own reserves, which regenerate over time. Think of it like a savings account, with you putting a portion of your pay packet in each month.  

It was a fascinating idea, and reading on, it didn’t seem that difficult either. More times that I’ve cared to admit, my research has been hindered by a lack of power on my part. While I may have slightly above average magical power, I’m a long way from Starlight or Twilight. As a result, there are plenty of perfectly benign spells that I would love to try out that are entirely beyond my reach. This however would help overcome that.

It also could potentially help with an issue I’ve been wrestling with for an age, overcoming the effect of something or someone draining magic. It has happened twice now; once when Tirek got loose, and again during the Storm King’s invasion of Canterlot. Neither time was there a way to counter or overcome the spell. Having a magically charged object however, could offer some form of protection, like hiding some extra cash off shore to dodge taxes.  

So, seeing as I had little else to do today, I decided to set myself the creation of a magical object as my newest project.  





Applejack, having heard my idea, and being equally bored given how quiet everything was today, decided to follow me upstairs to see me work on my latest project. Obviously, the first thing I needed was an object to use. It needed to be something fairly small to be practical, and the size of the object had little bearing on how much magic it could hold; that was determined by its composition. According to Stygian’s own research metals such as brass and silver were the most suitable, while still being easy enough to acquire.  

I had a good idea of what I could use, and saw it as being quite apt too. You see, when the rift opened up for the last time, before it was sealed off a couple of years ago, all sorts of stuff from Earth came flying through. Because it was so unstable, and the exit point wasn’t fixed, it picked up all sorts. On the one hoof it picked up a few of our personal possessions, one of which I would be using in a moment, it also picked up all sorts of flotsam and jetsam, most of which had been given to Twilight and then sold off to anypony who was interested.  

Walking upstairs, with Applejack following, I made my way into my room. The things I was looking for was kept in its case in my desk, under lock and key due to its sentimental and very tangible value.  

Fishing out the key, I opened up the desk and took out a small box; the sort of thing you might have kept a pocket watch in in days gone by. Setting it on the desk, I opened it up for AJ to see.

It was a medal; my grandfather’s to be precise. Most of the family on my mother’s side served during the last world war. My one great uncle was in the South Staffs, that is, the South Staffordshire Regiment, the other had been what we’d now call a Para and had been one of the few men to escape from Arnhem during Operation Market Garden when the Yanks bottled it and left both the British and their Polish allies high and dry.  

My grandfather though, had been too young when the war started, and only came of age after the end of hostilities, doing his national service in the peacetime British Army of the Rhine at Hanover with the Royal Engineers. But while he was too young to go into the army, he was eligible in 1941 to join what was originally called the Local Defence Volunteers, more commonly known, with great affection, as the Home Guard, in reality a laughable ragtag group of old men and young boys who would form the last desperate defence of the mother country, had the church bells ever started ringing.  

Anyway, the point of all that is that, after the war, he and his fellow volunteers were all given a special medal for their services; the Defence Medal, which was awarded to all sorts of people who served on the home front, Home Guard, ARP, ambulance drivers and so on. When he’d died a few years before we came to Equestria, he’d bequeathed it to me, and I was very glad to find it that day when the rift reopened. It was my one reminder of him.  

Picking it up, I showed the medal, or gong, to AJ, and explained what it was for. The medal itself was silver, with an image of King George VI on one side and on the other was a crown guarded by two lions, with the words ‘The Defence Medal’ embossed on. The ribbon meanwhile was a mixture of green, black and red stripes.  

“So, what, you’re gonna fill this up with magic?” Applejack asked. I nodded. AJ may not know too much about magic, but she’s picked up a fair bit from me, just as I’ve learnt quite a bit about farming from her.  

“Yep,” I replied. “From what Stygian wrote here.” I held up the book in question in my magic. “Silver is great for holding magical energy without it depleting too much over time.”

Like any battery, this wouldn’t store magic indefinitely. Outside of a pony or other magical creature, magic naturally dissipates back into the environment. However, silver was supposed to last anywhere from six months to a year without too much drop off, and it was easy enough to top up. The hard part would be this; charging it up for the first time. It would take a fair chunk of my magic to do that. Still, I could then use it whenever I needed it, be that for research, or in time of emergency. I turned to my marefriend.  

“Okay, AJ,” I said, preparing myself. “Just hold it up for me, and Ah’ll see about chargin’ it up.”

Applejack complied, holding the medal by its ribbon in her hoof, the silver medallion dangling down, glinting in the sunlight. It had seen better days, but I’d done my best to keep the decoration in decent condition.    

Charging up my magic, I prepared the first part of the spell. You couldn’t just hit any random object with magic. All that would accomplish is that you would eventually destroy it. Before the medal could actually store magic, never mind direct it in any meaningful way, it needed to be set up as such. Think of it like making a USB bootable instead of just having it hold data.  

Double checking the glyphs in Stygian’s book to be sure, I set to work, firing a brief blast of magic at the medal. I didn’t expect there to be much effect, but to my surprise, in contrast to its earlier appearance, it now shone and sparkled as if it had been struck only the day before. Every now and again, small arcs of magical energy flittered across the silver surface, making it glisten even more. Evidently the first part of the spell had worked.  

“Wow! Nice work, Bones,” Applejack exclaimed in amazement. “The thing looks almost brand new.” I nodded in agreement.  

“Must be somethin’ to do with the magical energy, Ah guess,” I replied.

Now came the more difficult part, actually putting magic into the medal. The act would leave me feeling pretty drained for at least a day or so while my natural reserves recovered. Strictly speaking, you can’t ‘run out’ of magic, in that it isn’t a finite resource. However, excessive use, such as the Unicorn Council raising the sun and moon, could leave a pony’s reserves so exhausted that they would never recover. So I planned on being very careful. After this, it would just be a case of topping it up every now and then as needed.  

“Okay, AJ,” I said as I readied myself. “Ah’m gonna start puttin’ magic in now. So hold on.”

Planting my hooves squarely on the ground, I powered up my horn and began to pour magic into the medal. Sending magic somewhere isn’t painful at all, as long as it is done willingly. Taking magic from a pony is a particularly painful experience, and not one I care to repeat. I kept the flow of magic fairly steady, but could nonetheless feel my strength ebbing away. All in all, I probably only kept up for about fifteen seconds, but that’s a long time when it comes to something like that.  

When I was finished, I felt tired. It wasn’t too bad, but I figured I’d probably gone through about three quarters of what I had. I felt a lot like what Twilight probably felt after her long fight with Starlight through time and space. Still, it wasn’t too bad. I was still steady on my hooves, and I still had enough magic to work with. The only real issue was the feeling of tiredness.  

Now all that remained was to test it out. Sitting down on my rump, since standing was actually now a little difficult, I motioned for AJ to come over, and I took the medal from her hooves, using my own instead of my magic. I’d need to ration my usage for the next day or so.   

All that remained now was to test it. A simple levitation spell would suffice as a first test. Activating my magic, I focused not on myself, but on the medal that now rested on my hoof. After a moment of concentration, it began to glow with the same blue aura that would surround my horn. The rest was simple. I was able to easily levitated the book I’d been reading just as easily as I would normally, albeit with some small delay. I smiled.

“Well, it works, AJ,” I said proudly. “And once Ah get my strength back, Ah should be able to cast spells that used to be out of reach. Looks like Stygian was really onto something.”

“So now what?” Applejack asked curiously. I shrugged my withers.  

“Ah’ll go and see Twilight tomorrow,” I explained. “She might be interested in this. Heck, in theory, this magic could help protect us in the future; stopping or at least limiting anycreature that tries to steal magic from ponies.”

There was one last thing I did though, before I put my grandfather’s medal away again. Unlike the Storm King’s staff, this could only be used by a unicorn, alicorn or other creature with the ability to directly project magic. That still meant a lot of ponies and other creatures, if they got their hooves on this, could end up doing some real damage, potentially augmenting my magic with their own. So, just to be safe, I applied a spell similar to the identification spell I’d applied to FOXDIE. It would only work for me, and nopony else.  





The next day, I planned to go and visit Twilight to show her what I’d managed to accomplish. However, before I could get to that, there was work to do. Yesterday might have been quiet enough, but today was just the opposite, and it was a case of all hooves on deck.  

Sweet Apple Acres has many crops besides apples. In addition to its namesake, the farm has peach trees, cherry trees, corn fields, carrots, potatoes and other root vegetables, as well as pasture used for grazing by the local cattle, who also provided us with milk in exchange.

Today though didn’t involve any of those. Instead, I found myself working on the chicken coop, with the unenviable task of cleaning it out. People say pigs are filthy animals, but they at least have the decency to go and do their business in the corner, chickens are in no such way inclined. As a result, the coop now absolutely stank something terrible, and I was stuck scraping it all out, before putting in fresh bedding into the nest boxes. For once in my life, I regretted have my improved equine sense of smell. The heat didn’t help either, while flies buzzed around my head, occasionally landing on my back until I shooed them away with a flick of my tail. Still, at least I had the luxury of using my magic to hold the trowel instead of my hooves.  

As I leaned in to get the the nest boxes right at the back, I felt my hat snag on something. I tried to be careful, but to my dismay, as I backed out into the sunlight again, I heard something rip. Scowling, I took of my treasured headgear and took a look. My dark brown stetson, a gift from AJ that is slightly darker than her own, holds a great deal of sentimental value, and the idea of it being damaged was actually a little upsetting.  

“Dagnabbit,” I exclaimed crossly as I turned the hat over in my hooves.

Luckily, the damage was minor enough. The felt of the hat was undamaged. The ripping I’d heard was actually the stitching of the faux leather band partly coming away. Inspecting the chicken coop, I found a protruding nail head; the most likely culprit. It must have snagged on the hat as I leaned in.  

Satisfied that it was nothing serious, I still decided that I ought to get it fixed. Little damages like that can easily turn into major problems quite easily, and I would hate to loose this hat. As I said, I treasure it almost as much as AJ cherishes her late father’s hat, which she’s worn almost all her life.  

There was one obvious solution, and that was to pay call on Ponyville’s resident seamstress; Rarity. She may be well on her way to being a fashion magnate these days, with stores in both Canterlot and Manehattan, but she’s almost always willing to take on little repair jobs. Between you and me, I know for a fact she’s even repaired Smartie Pants for Big Mac once or twice. So I would drop by Carousel Boutique on my way to see Twilight.  





Of course, before I did that, I headed back to the farmhouse and took a brief shower. Rarity may be the Element of Generosity, but I think I’d rather be pushing my luck if I turned up in her store smelling chicken guano. So, after I’d finished my work and put down fresh straw in all the nest boxes, I headed back inside the farmhouse and took a short shower. My mane was getting a little long too I noticed. Maybe I should head to the spa sometime next week for a spot of general maintenance?

With that done, I quickly dried myself off, threw on my damaged stetson hat and headed out to Ponyville. AJ was looking after the market stall today, so maybe I could go and say hi to her on my way back.  

I don’t go to Carousel Boutique all that often. Actually, as I walked down the road, it dawned on me that it had been an age since I’d seen Rarity. While our interests may not always line up, we are fairly good friends. I even ended up taking her up to Canterlot once and ended up as her plus one at a swanky black tie reception. And, if nothing else, she was the one who first prodded me with the idea that Applejack might like me.

Well, actually, as I recall, she smacked my across the face and called me an idiot. But hey, she did sort of have a point.  

Reaching the familiar store, I pushed open the door, causing the bell above to jingle slightly as it opened and closed. Inside, I found pretty much what you’d expect from somepony in Rarity’s line of work. I felt just a touch out of place in my old stetson. While Rarity has never forgotten her Ponyville roots, she does now rub shoulders with more than a few ponies in high society. I on the other hoof, hail decidedly from working class, with my parents being the first to move up the chain a little.  

“Hello? Rarity?” I called out. Curiously, there was no sign of her. Usually, when a customer walked into the shop, she’d come trotting out of her work room to greet them and introduce herself.  

On this occasion though, I got no response. So, I went in search of her. I may be a customer, but as Rarity’s friend, I felt I had a small amount of leeway when it came to wandering into the back areas of the shop. I figured she was most likely in her work room, engrossed in some new design for the latest season.  

I was just about to open the door when it flew open and Rarity herself came trotting out. At first I assumed she had heard me come in, but had just been busy in the back or something. That assessment lasted right up until she started speaking. Well, when I say speaking…

“Darling!” she exclaimed in a voice that almost rivalled the Royal Canterlot Voice. “It’s so lovely to see you again!” Slightly taken aback by her bellowing, I waited for the ringing in my ears to stop before replying.  

“Er, thanks, Rarity,” I said, at a more normal volume. “It’s nice to see y’all too.” Rarity however, tilted her head in confusion.  

“Why in Equestria are you muttering, Blade Star?!” she asked, still screeching like a banshee. “Really, a gentlecolt like yourself should know how to speak properly.” Slightly annoyed by the jab, I upped my volume.  

“Ah’m not mutterin’, Rarity!” I shot back. “Y’all are then one shoutin’ like an Englishman trying to talk to somepony from Europe!”

“Whatever do you mean?!” I rolled my eyes.

“Ah mean you’re shoutin’ something fierce!” I exclaimed. “Are y’all okay?” Rarity waved a hoof but didn’t lower the volume.  

“Oh absolutely fabulous, darling!” she replied. “I’ve spent all morning working on this new design incorporating phoenix feathers.” Ah, that might explain things.  

“Did ya wear gloves when ya touched them?” I asked, still shouting so she could hear me.  

“No! Why?!” she hollered back. I let out a, to her, quiet laugh.  

“Contact with phoenix feathers can make a pony temporarily deaf!” I explained.  

“I’m not deaf, darling!” Rarity retorted hotly. “My hearing’s just fine! Anyway, what is it you wanted?!” Oh for the love of Celestia! Better to just get my order in and hope I don’t end up with repairs done to a mat.  

“Can ya mend the stitching on my stetson?” I asked, holding up the hat for emphasis. Rarity activated her magic and quickly took if off me to examine.  

“Of course, darling!” she replied. “Why didn’t you say so in the first place?”  

You know, I’m honestly not sure if I prefer this, or sitting through taking high tea with her. Still, at least her lack of hearing wouldn’t stop her from doing her work. I made a mental note to stop in to see Zecora if she had her stall set up in the market. She probably had some cure for Rarity’s ailment. I left the fashionista to her work, saying I’d stop by tomorrow to pick it up.  





Leaving Rarity’s store, I found myself feeling a little uncomfortable. I’d worn that Stetson day in and day out for a couple years now. I’d gotten used to it sitting on top of my heat, feeling the felt brushing against my ears, and looking up and seeing the brim cut off the skyline. Now, I felt...almost naked I suppose, without it. It felt weird, like having your braces taken off for the first time, or riding your bike without stabilisers. There was nothing inherently wrong, it just felt different.  

Shaking my head, I did my best to set aside the odd emotions that seemed to be connected to my hat and headed for Twilight’s castle. I was rather keen to show her magical artifact that I’d managed to create in my grandfather’s old medal, and I was planning on encouraging her to do the same. It certainly would have paid dividends when she was stuck in that cage, courtesy of the Storm King, and it might have saved everypony a lot of bother a few months in the future too. But hey, hindsight is twenty twenty as I always say.

Leaving Carousel Boutique behind, I followed the familiar path to Twilight’s castle. Ponyville was a little busier these days, what with the school and everything. The school in particular has brought in its fair share of tourists from all over the shop. There was supposedly a group going around the school right now. It certainly explained the increased foot traffic.  

Heading for the castle, I took a moment to take a look at the latest addition to Ponyville’s skyline. It was as if Harry Potter and MLP had been involved in a car crash, but in a good way. The building was a lot like the castle, mainly due to the entity that played a part in building it. Heading up the steps, I opened the front door and stepped into the map room. Honestly, Shining’s told her, I’ve told her, and even Spike has told her; Twilight needs to remember to lock the front doors of this place. She’s just as bad with the school. I couldn’t help but worry when I heard that a bunch of important magical objects were being imported from the Canterlot archives either.  

The low security however, was the least of my worries, as I found out about one nanosecond after I stepped inside.  

“Gah! Sweet Celestia!” I exclaimed, putting a hoof to my nose to try and block it off.  

Twilight has many faults, but poor personal hygiene is not among them. Even in her most intense study sessions, she usually remembers to take a bath one in a while. But at the moment, the castle stank something horrid. It was like somepony had mixed all the worst smells in the world together. There was B.O, sour milk, rotten eggs, burnt hair, decomposition, and I think a slight whiff of a bad yeast infection. Long story short, it took all my sheer force of will not to chuck my guts up all over the alicorn’s nice crystal floor (although I suppose easier clean up is an advantage of crystal over carpet, still I don’t think it justifies the price). Staggering back outside, I got a lungful of fresh, clean air before trying again. Even breathing through my mouth didn’t take away the awful stench. Despite that though, I wanted to find Twilight. If anything, I needed to see if she was still with us or if she’d finally snapped and started chopping ponies up in her basement.  

So, doing my best not to breathe any more than I needed to stay conscious, I made my way further into the castle. If anything, as I made my way toward the library, the stench became even worse. I was seriously contemplating turning around and calling in a Hazmat team. Eventually, I reached the library door. Pushing it open, I was hit with a fresh wave of stink and once again nearly lost my lunch. Still, I managed to keep the British end up and kept everything down.  

“Urgh! Twilight?” I called out, instantly regretting my action as the foul smell hit my tongue. “Are you in here?” I heard the patter of feet on the crystal floor, and a moment later, Spike appeared.  

“Oh, hi there, Blade Star,” he said. The little dragon was seemingly unaffected, but took note when he saw my green face. Curiously, he blushed.  

“Erm...sorry,” he said meekly. My eyes now streaming, I replied.

“Sorry for what?” I was then briefly overcome with a coughing fit.  

“The smell,” he explained. “It’s...well...me.”

“You?” I exclaimed. “How? What did you do, roll around in a dump or somethin’?” Spike shook his head.

It was then that I noticed it. Spike seemed to be covered in small blotches. Some had scabbed over with scales a shade darker than his usual ones, others were still ugly, puss filled boils. He certainly didn’t look comfortable.  

“I’m moulting,” he explained. “I’ve got stone scales all over me, I can’t always control how loud my voice gets, and I smell like changeling goo mixed with swamp water.” Irritably, he scratched at his cheek.  

My initial disgust softened. While the smell was still vile, I couldn’t really be mad at Spike. Obviously it wasn’t something he could readily control. I figured this moult was something along the lines of puberty for dragons. While we may be more friendly with our fire breathing cousins now, thanks to Dragon Lord Ember, there’s still quite a bit we don’t know about them, certainly in terms of physiology.  

As he tried to get the itching under control, Spike passed me a face mask to put on. I gratefully took it. While it didn’t block the stench out entirely, it went a long way to making it bearable.

“Oh, Ah’m sorry, Spike,” I said as I fasted the mask to my face. “If it’s any consolation, Ah kinda know how ya feel. Ah went through somethin’ similar myself not so long ago.” Spike looked at me curiously.  

“What, do humans moult?” he asked. I shook my head.

“Sort of, although we call it puberty. Some of it’s similar though. Ah remember when Ah was in school Ah ended up with my face covered in zits, kinda like those stone scales, and just as embarrassing too. My voice got deeper eventually, but for weeks I sounded really dumb and it kept cracking all the time like Sweetie Belle’s does when she gets mad. And, while it ain’t got nothin’ on your particular...erm...musk, if Ah didn’t keep on top of it, Ah ended up smelling something foul as well.”

“What did you do about it?” Spike asked, as he went back to shelving books in an effort to keep his mind off the itching.  

“Not much ya can do Spike, except wait for it to be over. It’s only temporary. Eventually your scales will heal up, your voice will stabilise and you should stop smelling so much. It’s an important part of growin’ up.”

“So what, I’m stuck like this for ages?” Spike asked forlornly. I shook my head.

“Actually, probably not as long as Ah was, Spike,” I replied encouragingly. “Ah don’t know loads about dragons, but your reptiles, and they tend to go through these things pretty quick like.” Strangely, instead of making him feel better, Spike seemed to become even more despondent, letting out a sad sigh.

“What’s wrong, Spike?” I asked. “Ah figured you’d be happy that this thing will be over soon enough.” Spike looked up at me sadly.  

“I talked to Smoulder about it, what with her being a dragon and all. And she says that when a dragon moults, their family kicks them out to start life on their own.” I tried not to roll my eyes. Trust Spike to make a mountain out of a molehill.  

“Spike,” I said kindly. “Do y’all honestly think that Twilight, in a million years, would kick you out of the castle?” Spike thought. “Trust me, buddy, ya ain’t goin’ anywhere unless ya want to.” Still, Spike seemed a little lost in thought.

I considered pressing on further, but soon realised that it probably wouldn’t do any good. This was something Spike needed to figure out on his own. Plus, as I said before, I’m not exactly an expert on dragons, and the last thing I wanted to do was give him bad or wrong advice. The little drake obviously needed to do some soul searching. He’s spent his whole life living among ponies, but now his dragon nature was asserting itself. And the last time that happened the results had been decidedly unfortunate.  

This was something for him to work out on his own, with maybe some support from Twilight. As Luna has told me time and time again, I am not the centre of the universe, and it isn’t my job to fix every issue and save the day. Still, that didn’t stop me from being Spike’s friend.

Steeling myself and holding my breath, I leaned down and briefly hugged the little dragon, who quickly hugged back.

“It’ll all come right in the end, Spike,” I said quietly. “Just y’all wait and see.”

I turned to leave, briefly forgetting the original purpose of my visit. Luckily, it jumped back into my mind as I reached the doorway.  

“Oh, Spike,” I said. “Could ya let Twilight know Ah stopped by. Ah’ve got an idea Ah’d like to show her.”  

Spike promised to let Twilight know when she got back. Unsurprisingly, she was looking for ways to help her adoptive little brother/son too. With that, I headed back outside.  

The town was quieter on my way back. In hindsight, I think that was rather fortunate. You see, I made the unfortunate mistake of forgetting Locard’s principle; every contact leaves a trace. I guess I’d been in there long enough to get vaguely acclimatised to the smell. When I got back to Sweet Apple Acres I was in for a nasty shock.  

Opening the door, I found Applejack and Big Mac in the kitchen, doing a spot of cleaning. As soon as I walked in, both their faces went green.  

“Aww land sakes, Bones!” Applejack exclaimed, her voice a little higher as she covered her nose. “Ah know y’all have been cleanin’ out the hen house, but please, for pony’s sake, go and take a bath!”
> Chapter 22 - Au Revoir, Shoshanna
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“So Lizzie, how’s it been havin’ the place to yourself for a while?” I asked as I sat on the sofa in Fluttershy’s cottage. Lizzie let out a brief laugh.

“Bones, it’s only been like a day or so,” she replied. “It isn’t like I have to look after the house and all the animals for a week. Shy’s gonna be back this evening.”

I’d taken advantage of a relatively quiet afternoon to go and visit my little sister. While my work may keep me busy, I do my best to touch base with my family whenever I can, visiting my parents at their house, or seeing my little sister over at Fluttershy’s. I actually had a bit of an ulterior motive too. I’d heard from a certain gossip loving unicorn who shall remain nameless, that Lizzie had been talking to Dewdrop about possibly moving in with him. While I didn’t have any objection to that, I was curious to see if it was true or not.  

“So how’s Dewdrop been these past weeks?” I asked, taking a moment to sip at the tea Lizzie had made for us.  

Dewdrop was Lizzie’s coltfriend and colleague on the Weather Patrol. They’d met during the last Tornado Day when they sent all the water from the local reservoir up to Cloudsdale. He was a recent transplant from Las Pegasus and almost painfully shy to start with. But while training with him, Lizzie had brought him out of his shell and he’d acquitted himself well during the tornado. The adrenaline high from that resulted in him plucking up the courage to ask Lizzie out on the spot, right in front of me and our parents. If nothing else, that was impressive for its sheer boldness.  

Like Big Mac, I’d been a little wary at first. But after having met him properly and gotten to know him, I’d found him to be a perfectly stand up guy. Not that I really had any say over who my sister did or didn’t date. Even my darker half isn’t as scary as Lizzie when she’s ticked off with you. They’d grown closer over the last few months, so it made sense they would soon think about living together.  

“Oh, we’ve been great,” Lizzie said with a smile. “It’s been loads of fun since I got my flight sergeant’s stripes. Now I can get him to call me ma’am when we’re at work.” She paused to giggle. “And hey, don’t tell Mum and Dad this, but we’ve been thinking about moving in together.” I did my best to feign surprise.  

“Really?” I asked. She seemed to buy it.

“Yeah. I’d be moving out to his place if we did,” she explained. “It’s already crowded enough in here as it is between ‘Shy, me and Discord whenever he drops by. Not to mention all the animals. Even with her sanctuary, this place is still pretty much Animal Hospital.”

“What’s Fluttershy think of it?” I took another sip of tea as Angel hopped into the room in search of his lunch. He kept his distance from me. He has done ever since I put the frighteners on him after he bit me a couple months back.

“Oh, you know how she is,” Lizzie replied, making a point of ignoring Angel’s stamping and angry glares. “She says I can stay as long as I want. But between you and me, I sometimes feel like a third wheel whenever Discord’s around. He’s seriously into her.” I smiled.

“You’re preaching to the choir, sis,” I said in agreement. Discord’s crush on Fluttershy was about as secret as Spike’s attraction to Rarity. Although given his ability to bend reality for fun, nopony was fool enough to bring it up when he was around. The conversation then switched to my home life.

“It must be nice for Applejack to get to spend some time with her friends,” Lizzie said. “At least, without the risk of the world ending.” I laughed and nodded.

AJ, Fluttershy and the rest of the Mane Six were all off the clock today. They’d all worked hard to line up their schedules so they could spend some time together. They’re all good friends, but you can imagine how hard it can be for the six of them all to make free time, particularly with the school and their own commitments to attend to, never mind the odd friendship mission. But they’d managed it, and yesterday they’d headed off on a camping trip. The six of them, minus Spike, who’d been left in charge of the library, had hiked through the Everfree (yes, that Everfree, I’ve no idea what possessed Twilight to do that either) and then camped right by the Tree of Harmony near the old castle, and spent the night there. They were due back sometime this evening.  

As we continued to chat, Lizzie went over to collect the paper, which was still sitting on the mat where it had landed that morning. She took a moment to flick through it, a puzzled look on her face.

“Huh,” she said in mild surprise. I set my drink down.

“What’s up, sis?” I asked.  

“There was supposed to be some article in the paper today about the new school. Fluttershy said they had some photographer pony come into the school yesterday before they headed off on their trip. But I can’t see anything in here. Fluttershy said they all had their pictures taken too.” I frowned.  

“Maybe it’s going to be one of those feature pieces that take longer to write up?” I suggested. “Ah’m sure it’ll turn up. The place has been in the headlines ever since it opened as an independent school and that varmint Neighsay nearly started World War Three.” Lizzie nodded.

“Yeah, probably right,” she agreed as she set the paper down.

Angel, still angry at not having been fed his lunch, began angrily stamping his feet again, causing Lizzie to let out an angry sigh.

“Alright, alright, you little white rat!” she exclaimed as she got up and headed to the kitchen. “Hold your horses. I’ll feed you now.” I resisted the urge to laugh as Angel eagerly followed her into the kitchen, quickly followed by the sound of him wolfing down rabbit food.  

As Lizzie was pacifying the evil little rabbit, there was a knock at the door. Fluttershy didn’t get too many visitors as a rule, and Discord rarely bothered knocking; he preferred to just materialise in front of everyone. So who could it be? It was way too late in the day for the post to turn up. Maybe somepony had a patient for Fluttershy to tend to. In any case, I decided to be a helpful guest.  

“Ah’ll get it,” I called to Lizzie in the kitchen. Getting up, I opened up the front door and was met by somepony I hadn’t seen in a few weeks.  

It was Jack of all ponies. That in and of itself wasn’t a good sign. While he might be roughly on the side of good, there was a tendency for death and destruction to follow in his wake. If nothing else, this was a stallion that was infamous for hitting on anything with a pulse, so the fact that he’d shown up to see either Fluttershy or Lizzie put my hackles up. Jack however, completely ignored my somewhat hostile glare and greeted me as an old friend.  

“Oh, hey, Bones!” he said with that overly smug grin of his. “Just the guy I was looking for.” I may not have AJ’s almost empathic ability to discern when somepony is lying, but I suspected something was up. Well, that and Jack mostly lies anyway.  

“If y’all were lookin’ for me, Captain,” I replied evenly. “Then what brings ya here?” He shrugged his shoulders.

“Well, basic detective work,” he replied, still grinning at me. “I went over to that quaint little farm of yours. You weren’t there, and Big Mac said you were over here visiting your little sister.”  

And speaking of, Lizzie came back from the kitchen, having heard the two of us talking. She instantly fixed her eyes on Jack, who flashed her a smile and a wink. And just like that, her wings opened with a comically painful pomf. I had to stop myself from laughing a little as she blushed and darted back into the kitchen like a startled deer. Turning back to Jack, I found his eyes still following her. Activating my magic for a moment, I created a brief shower of sparks, not unlike snapping your fingers as a human, to get his attention.

“Hey! Hey! Eyes here!” I snapped crossly as he quickly caught himself. “Why were y’all looking for me anyway?”  

Now Jack’s face became far more serious. Gone was the ridiculous, swashbuckling, bisexual con man, and replaced with the stern, serious face of a commanding officer.  

“The guys at the castle picked up some screwy magic signals coming from inside the Everfree forest,” he explained. “It first spiked somewhere near that new school Princess Twilight built. We tracked it to pretty much right on top of the castle and were about to investigate it when that Tree of Harmony thing came to life.”

That sounded ominous. The Tree of Harmony controlled the Elements, and it knew to only use them at times of serious emergency. Even its own impressive powers were rarely used. After all, it hadn’t done anything to interfere with the changelings that had occupied Twilight’s castle during the second incursion, nor had it directly done anything against Tirek. So for it to suddenly spring to life like that set alarm bells ringing.  

“Do you know what it did?” I asked, any pretense of annoyance toward the light blue pegasus long gone. Jack shook his head.

“That’s the thing,” he replied. “We were about to go out there, but we spotted the princess and her friends camping out there. Everything seemed perfectly normal.” I frowned.

“The Tree doesn’t just come to life for no reason,” I said thoughtfully. It was then though that a thought occurred to me. “Hang on. Why are you coming to me with this?” Jack grinned for a moment.  

“Aside from Twilight, who’s currently trekking back through the forest somewhere, and the princesses, who are way up in Canterlot, nopony knows more about that thing than you, Bones.” I think I blushed at that.  

“So, any chance you can come take a look, give me and the guys some pointers?” he asked. There was only one answer really.  

“Alright,” I agreed.





After telling Lizzie where I was going, and apologising for having to cut my visit short, I followed Jack out of the house and back over the brook, before turning towards the Everfree. I figured the most sensible thing to do, and Jack agreed, was to check out the campsite Twilight and the others had gone to, since that was where the Tree had surged. I’m not going to lie; I was worried. The whole thing stunk of a potential capture job, maybe even replacement. While it was unconfirmed, a lot of ponies in the Royal Guard suspected that there were still a few odd rogue changelings roaming about, in addition to the dethroned Chrysalis. And that was discounting all the other weird stuff that lives in the Everfree. Seriously, what was Twilight thinking going in there for a camping trip? What’s wrong with Rainbow Falls or Luna Bay?  

As we walked, Jack brought me up to speed with what they knew so far.  

“So from what we can tell,” he was saying. “The first high energy burst, something along the lines of a powerful unicorn, appeared not too far from the school, in a small...er...copse I guess you Brits would call it.”

“How did ya pick up magic like that anyway?” I asked. I was quite curious myself. I wasn’t actually aware you could even do that.

“It’s only in trials at the moment,” Jack explained. “Don’t ask me to explain the science or magic behind it. All I know is that it measures magic in the local environment, accounts for background radiation magic, and throws up a warning whenever something makes it spike. The school was right on the extreme edge of the range. We figured it would be more useful for tracking the dark magic in some of the stuff in the forest, things like large timberwolf packs and cragadiles.”

“So can it tell you what made the magic surge then?” I asked. Jack frowned.

“Well, sort of,” he replied. “It can tell us how strong it is. I don’t have to tell you that there aren’t many creatures besides unicorns that can produce powerful magic bursts like that. But we do know it’s a step down from an alicorn, but way more than a normal unicorn. And of course, the system gives us a reading on the magic’s aura, including it’s colour. This one showed up as green. But I’m sure you know there are plenty of unicorns out there with green...Bones?”

Jack stopped his spiel because I’d stopped dead in my tracks. I had a fierce scowl on my face, and my breathing had suddenly increased in tempo. My anger flashed white hot and I pawed at the ground angrily, snorting and tossing my head in irritation. Jack, slightly weirded out by my sudden equine behaviour paused and turned round to face me.

“Er...everything alright there, Bones?” he asked, slightly nervous.  

“Did ya say the aura was green coloured?” I asked, my voice deathly quiet. Jack nodded.

“Yeah,” he replied, still perplexed.

“And it was somewhere between unicorn and alicorn?” Again, he nodded. I started off again towards the Everfree, brushing past him as I set a faster pace. Jack quickly followed.

“Whoa, hey, Bones!” he called after me as he put on a brisk trot and briefly took flight to catch up. “What is it, what’s going on?” I turned and snarled at him, my anger wanting to lash out at anything nearby.  

“We have a bug,” I said.  





I knew it! I just bucking knew it! I seethed to myself. The very day after the incursion, when those last six infiltrators had been flushed out of Twilight’s castle, I warned Luna that exactly this sort of thing would happen. They’d had the chance to capture or kill Chrysalis, but instead, they’d let her get away. And this was the result. As if the Everfree wasn’t dangerous enough. Who knows what a dethroned changeling queen is capable of?  

Well, whatever it was, Jack and me were going to put a stop to it. Or rather, I was. And this time, there would be no time paradoxes to stand in my way. I was going to track that little bitch down, and take great pleasure in blowing a hole in her head.  

These were my thoughts as I stalked through the Everfree Forest. I hadn’t said a word since I’d first suspected that we were dealing with Chrysalis herself. I was too mad. Of all of Equestria’s enemies, Chrysalis is the one I despised most. All the others, from Nightmare Moon right up to the Storm King had faced some sort of punishment. But Chrysalis had gotten away from us scot free for her cowardly kidnapping. It’s one of the things I despise about changelings; they never face up to you squarely or fight with any honour. Instead they hide in the shadows, wait until you turn your back, and strike when you’ve almost no chance of defending yourself. They were cowards. Disgusting sub-equine vermin!  

It was that final thought that brought me up. I caught myself in what I was doing. For a few minutes, I let my anger take over. Half of what you just read isn’t what I honestly think. As for catching Chrysalis, well there was a pipe dream if I ever saw one. The last time I got very, very lucky, and used a dangerous amount of dark magic to boot. Coming to a stop in the middle of a clearing, I did my best to clear my head. Taking several slow, deep breaths, I felt my previously thundering heart rate slow to a more stately pace. My anger cooled. If I was going to at least try and  do something, I needed a clear head and not be blinded by anger.  

Jack soon caught me up. He was still completely perplexed as to what was going on.

“Bones!” he barked in a more commanding tone. “Bones, what is it?” Taking one last breath, I turned to face him.  

“Jack,” I said calmly. “The only thing that matches the description y’all just gave me is a changeling queen. You know about Chrysalis, right?” He nodded.  

“Sure, the one that got away,” he replied. “What makes you think she’s behind that surge?”

“Between the magic signature, and the fact that Twilight and her friends are in here somewhere too, it makes sense. After the attack on Canterlot, security is way too tight, even for a changeling. She has it in for the lot of them, Starlight too, for foiling her plans. Ah don’t know what she’s up to, but if Ah’m right, it ain’t anythin’ good.”

“So what, we go play Wyatt Earp and Doc Holiday and go track her down?” Jack asked. I nodded.

“You still got your revolver, right?” Jack nodded, tapping his coat with a hoof. I heard the metal clink.  

“Ponies haven’t developed small arms like that, nor have changelings,” I explained. “If nothin’ else, that’ll help us put her down if we have to.”

With that, we continued on, heading for the old castle and the Tree of Harmony. Chrysalis had to be pretty stupid if she did try to capture Twilight and the others there. Surely the Tree would protect them now that the Elements were in its branches. And unlike other magical artifacts, the Elements weren’t just something you could use any time you pleased. Only Twilight and the girls could use them, since they represented each element. If Chrysalis thought she could somehow drain their magic or use the Elements herself she was in for a nasty shock.

As we continued on, Jack struck up a quiet conversation with me.  

“You want to tell me what happened back there, Bones?” he asked, as we weaved our way through the trees. “I’ve seen you ticked off before now, but I’ve never seen you like that.” Frowning, I shrugged my shoulders.  

“Ah had a run in with Chrysalis a couple years back,” I explained. “Back then, Ah used to feel the same way about changelings as our mutual friend feels about Daleks. Long story short, Ah wound up in a time paradox caused by her premature death. Ah’ve made peace with myself and the changelings since then. But Chrysalis...Ah’d very much like to see her horsewhipped.”

“Ooh, kinky! I didn’t realise you were into that sort of thing, Bones,” Jack replied flirtatiously, simultaneously breaking any seriousness in my previous statement.  

“Shut up!” I snapped. “Look, I just want to see if Ah’m right and to make sure Twilight and the others are okay. Let’s get to the castle and see if we can find any clues.”





We made good time getting to the castle. While it would have been interesting to see the little base that Jack and his lackeys have set up in some of the subterranean parts of the castle, I was more concerned with proving or disproving my fears that Chrysalis was back and up to something. Heading down into the moat of the castle via the stone staircase, we soon found ourselves at the Tree of Harmony. The tree itself seemed fine; the Elements were still in its branches, it showed no signs of being damaged or corrupted somehow, it looked pretty much the same as it always had.  

What wasn’t the same was the immediate surroundings. Applejack had told me that they were planning to all camp out near the tree for the night, and the seven of them had apparently set up a campsite too. To my alarm though, the whole place was wrecked. The tents were all smashed and ripped up, supplies were scattered everywhere, it looked like there’d been a pretty serious scuffle. What grabbed my attention though, were the six small pieces of wood that sat directly in front of the Tree of Harmony. They were just small offcuts, six of them to be precise. But they were all coloured. There was a purple one, a pink one, a white one, and orange one, a blue one, and a yellow one. Each one corresponded to one of the girls, although there was nothing to point to Starlight.  

I’ll be honest, I didn’t know what to think. Changeling magic was still not well understood. Thanks to Strong Shield and in more recent times, Thorax, we knew quite a bit about their disguise spells. But we knew little of the magic of the queen of a hive. Chrysalis had shown herself to have quite the array of spells, including teleportation, the ability to project her image, never mind that whole magic dampening throne malarkey. So I was just as in the dark as Jack in terms of what she might have done. Heck, for a few brief moments, I feared that these were Twilight and the girls. However, just as were about to take the six pieces into Jack’s base to study, we were startled by a new arrival in the form of Ponyville’s only zebra.

“Be at ease, your friends are not here. They saw this display and got themselves clear.” she called out as she trotted down the steps.  

“Zecora!” I called out in glad greeting. “It’s good to see ya. Do ya know what happened here?” Zecora nodded and gestured off into the afternoon sky.  

“All is well; the queen’s plans laid waste. In a fit of rage, she left in much haste.” Well, that was one load off my mind.

Wait.

Was it really.

Was this really Zecora? After all, if something was up, wouldn’t it make sense for Chrysalis to mislead any would be rescuers by telling them all was well. Luckily, Zecora and I have known each other for some time. Between her friendship with Apple Bloom and her occasional aid to provide ponies with herbal remedies, I’d become quite friendly with her. We’d even talked about changelings not too long after the last incursion, discussing the idea of countersigns to aid in identification. Let’s see if she remembered.  

“Zecora, before we go any further, answer me this,” I said. “Who are the Patriots?” Cliche I know, but hey, it worked and was memorable. The zebra smiled.  

“You think me an imposter, but it is not so. And to answer your question, I say; la li lu lei lo.” I smiled and relaxed.  

“Sorry, just had to be sure,” I said apologetically. Zecora didn’t seem too put out at any rate. “So what happened then?”

Zecora explained. She’d been gathering Poison Joke plants for one of her potions near the castle when she’d heard arguing from deep in the moat. Looking over, she’d seen what appeared to be Twilight and her friends with Chrysalis. And they appeared to be helping her, albeit reluctantly; they all seemed to be falling out. They were trying to remove the Elements from the Tree of Harmony, but as they did so, each Element seemed to activate in some way. Then, magical tendrils came out from the tree, seized each of the girls and turned them into the small pieces of wood we’d found. Zecora explained that she believed it was a form of dangerous cloning magic that changelings used. The copies weren’t perfect, as they were created by Chrysalis’ dark magic, which explained their personalities, which were polar opposites to their true counterparts. The Tree’s actions had left Chrysalis was left with no plan by the looks of things, though what that plan was I can only speculate on. Then, hearing the real Mane Six approaching, she’d flown off into the night. Other than that, Zecora knew little. Still, it was nice to know that Twilight and the others were okay. This would make one hell of a story when we got back. I’d liked to have kept them in the loop, but given that they were still trekking their way home, and Chrysalis’ trail was fading fast, we couldn’t afford to waste the time.  

Zecora gave us a rough idea of which direction the changeling queen was heading. Still, there was no way to track her really. It’s not like she left a scent as she flew through the sky. However, at that moment, Jack spoke up.   

“There’s not too much out that way,” he declared. “A couple farms, and not much else; the perfect place for a shapeshifter to hide.”

“So what do ya suggest?” I asked curiously. “And anyway, now that we know they’re safe, shouldn’t we double back to Ponyville to warn Twilight ‘bout this?” Jack shook his head.

“C’mon, where’s your sense of adventure, Bones?” he asked. “Besides, the more time we give Chrysalis, the greater chance she has of getting away. Twilight and the girls are great at their jobs, but I think it’s time the boys saved the day for once. We can cut through the forest and try and pick up her trail through the farms. Fifty bits says she’s holed up in one of them until she can move on to somewhere more permanent to plan her next move.”

Unsure of what to do, I turned to Zecora. While I certainly wouldn’t mind being involved in the capture of Equestria’s most wanted fugitive, I also rather liked the benefits of being alive and not suspended in a cocoon. Like I said before, I got lucky last time, very lucky. And that encounter has stayed with me to this day as a result of my actions.  

“What do y’all think, Zecora?” I asked. The shaman thought for a moment before replying.  

“What your friend says is true, but I think many heads are better than two. But if it is Chrysalis you wish to catch, a daring plan you must surely hatch.” Translated, it made sense to go get the girls, but  we needed to move fast to catch such a slippery fiend. Trusting in her good judgement, and partly influenced by my own desire to see the changeling queen captured, I agreed with Jack.  

Zecora stayed behind and collected the remains of the six copies of my friends that Chrysalis had created. I’d been fooled by a changeling infiltrator masquerading as Applejack, but I doubted that this copy would have been half as effective. If nothing else, the cutie marks were apparently entirely inaccurate. Perhaps when we caught up with her, if we caught up with her, I could ask her precisely how she managed to create them. It would make for an interesting paper if nothing else.  

So Jack and I started on our trek through the forest. It luckily wasn’t too great a trek, and we encountered no serious perils. Before long, we found ourselves out of the woods, and in the rolling hillside of the Prench region of Equestria; their equivalent of France. After scouting around by air, Jack told me he’d found a farmhouse that looked like a good possibility. The two of us quickly began to make our way over.





This plan was getting more and more hare-brained by the second. Here we were, a former con man and an apple farmer that dabbled in magic. And we were trying to catch one of Equestria’s most dangerous enemies. I can’t even begin to imagine the number of ways this could go wrong. Still, the two of us pushed on. At least we had a plan I suppose, of sorts.  

While walking through the forest, we’d come up with our own unique ways of proving to each other that we were who we seemed. Jack would ask me to tell him the airspeed of an unladen swallow. If I replied with anything except the question ‘African or European?’, he knew he wasn’t talking to me. As for myself, well, there was an easy way to check Jack’s credentials; he was rather unique after all. If I ever suspected anything, I just needed to borrow his pistol, and shoot him in the head. Because let’s face it, I’ve been wanting to do that since I met him. We’d need this, since one of us would be going into the house, and the other would stay outside.  

However, as we were walking over to the farmhouse, an idea popped into my head.  

“Hey, Jack, hold up a second will ya?” I said, causing the pegasus to stop in his tracks.

“What is it, Bones?” he asked.  

“Ah think Ah’ve got a way of findin’ out if that no good bug is in there or not, without puttin’ either of us at risk.” Jack thought for a second.

“Okay, I’ll bite,” he said with a smile. “How?”

I explained that I could use the split personalty spell on myself. If there was anypony who had the skills and a vested interest in rooting out a changeling, it was my darker half; Morning Star, as he called himself. He might look like a pony, but he was just a projection of one, and so he couldn’t come to physical harm. If Chrysalis was in there she wouldn’t be able to do much to him. And it would leave both of us free to try and make a grab for her. It still wasn’t a brilliant plan, but it was better than either of us risking our necks.  

Jack agreed with me. And so, activating my magic, I powered up the spell. This was the first time I’d used it, and the first time, as far as I was aware than anypony had used it on themselves. As previously, my shadow detached itself. It settled itself on a nearby tree, whereupon Morning Star stepped out into the light.  

“Can I just say, Bones,” he said, with more than a vague hint of disgust. “That this has to be the stupidest thing you’ve done since coming here. Even our little time travelling escapade was less idiotic than this.”

“Don’t you want to catch, Chrysalis?” I asked in response. Morning Star smiled a dark smile.  

“My dear boy, trust me, you don’t want to know half of what I plan on doing to that whore. You’re lucky, I think, that you can’t access your subconscious.”

“Will ya help or not?” I asked, getting a little impatient. He nodded.

“I will.” As he was a part of me, he was already up to speed on what our little plan was. “I shall go and talk to the aging stallion across the way. If I suspect anything, I will do my best to expose her. Stay close to the house, in case she tries to make a break for it. For all we know, whatever stunt she pulled earlier may have left her weak. If there is a chance, listen for the word ‘Adieu’; fitting since we’re in Prance. Then come bursting in, guns and horns blazing. Understand?” Jack and I nodded.  

“Good,” he said with a small smile. “Now, if you don’t mind Bones, I think I ought to get into proper costume. Ah, the advantages of being merely a projection of the mind.”

With that, his form changed slightly. His coat, mane and tail remained the same, but out of thin air, there materialised a  slate grey jacket, and a equally grey officer’s cap on his head, along with a long dark trench coat. I recognised the uniform, the skull and crossbones on the cap, and the dual lightning bolts on the collar; it was the uniform of the Waffen SS, a colonel too. The image left me feeling most unsettled, seeing myself in the uniform of a monster. After taking a moment to make sure all was well, he walked away from us at a steady, measured pace, and headed over to speak to the farmer. Jack and I followed at a distance, but close enough to hear what was said.  

“Bonjour, Monsieur,” he called out in Prench. I’ve got quite a good grasp of the language since I used to go on Summer holidays there so much. As a part of me, he had the safe benefit.

“Bonjour,” the farmer replied. He was a chestnut coated earth pony, with silvery grey mane.  

“Parles tu anglais?” Morning Star asked, seeing if he spoke Ponish. The farmer looked a little nonplussed.

“Er..yes,” he replied. “A little bit.” Morning Star smiled and introduced himself.

“My name is Morning Star, sir,” he said, extending a hoof to the farmer.  

“I am Cherval, Monsieur Star. How can I help you?” My darker half smiled to himself.  

“I was hoping you could invite me inside your home, so we may have a discussion,” he replied.  

With that, the two of them headed inside the small farmhouse. Jack and I carefully followed, keeping out of sight and stationing ourselves near the kitchen window. We heard the two stallions step inside the house, as well as another pair of hooves.  

“Monsieur Star, this is my wife, Cherie.” I saw a beautiful young unicorn, with a cream coloured coat and a light pink mane. Morning Star took her hoof for a moment in gentlemanly greeting.

“Madame, please excuse my rude intrusion into your routine,” he said kindly. “Would you perhaps mind joining me and your husband at the table?” The three of them sat down and Morning Star began to speak again.  

“I am here,” he began, placing his cap on the table. “Because we have reason to believe that a changeling may be hiding in the area. I am checking all the local farms to see if we can’t find this interloper.”

“A changeling? Here?” Cherie asked, seemingly horrified. Morning Star nodded.

“I am afraid so,” he replied. It was then that I caught it. Cherie activated her magic only for an instant, but it glowed sickly green. The effect on Cherval was brief, but fairly obvious if you knew what you were looking for. He spaced out for a moment, before replying.  

“Well, I can assure you, sir, there are no changelings here.” Morning Star nodded.  

“I fear that is not the case, Monsieur,” he replied. “However, before we continue, one little aside. It must be somewhat taxing for you to constantly speak Ponish. I was fortunate to grow up spending a good deal of my childhood among the bocages of Northern Prance. If you have no objection, may we switch back to your mother tongue?”

“Of course,” Cherval said with a nod.  

“Bien,” Morning Star replied, switching to Prench, which to save time, I have translated here. “You may think there are no changelings here, Monsieur, but they are remarkably cunning when it comes to escaping detection. Some are even able to control the minds of their victims, and plant fantasies in their heads. For example, I look around your charming kitchen, and I see not a single photograph of your beautiful wife. It is as if she never existed. Tell me, how did you two lovers first meet?” Cherval thought for a moment, confusion suddenly appeared on his face.

“I...I can’t seem to remember,” he said quietly. “But I promise, my wife is not a changeling!”

“Perhaps we should test your memory a little more,” my darker half went on. “What family does she come from? How long have you been married? How did you propose to her? What was your first date like?”

At each of these questions, Cherval became more and more confused, and perhaps a little frightened.  

“I...I don’t...I can’t,” he said, his wavering now. Morning Star remained calm, speaking congenially, with a smile on his face.

“You can’t remember, Monsieur, because before this morning, you didn’t have a wife.” Cherval’s eyes now flashed in anger.

“I think you had best leave now!” he warned sharply.  

“Is that you talking, or is it the voice in your head. The one you’ve been hearing all day; the one that tells you what to say and do. That’s mind control magic, Monsieur. Allow me to try and help.”

I felt his magic activate. As Morning Star was something of an extension of me, I could feel when he was using my magic. And he was using something pretty up there right now. He was trying to help Cherval’s mind break free of the hypnosis. There was no question now that he was sitting just across the table from Chrysalis herself. After a moment, he eased off on the spell, and Cherval seemed to be more lucid, if now a little confused.  

“Be at ease, Monsieur. You are free of the mind control spell.”

“What...what happened?” he asked. Morning Star kept his friendly expression, but locked eyes with the Prench farmer.  

“Just answer my questions, and I guarantee your safety. Understand?”

“Yes...yes. I understand,” he replied.  

“You’re sheltering an enemy of the state, are you not?” He nodded.

“Yes...she made me let her in...protect her.”

“And then she took this form and began to masquerade as your wife, correct?” Again, he nodded.

“Yes.” Morning Star’s smile broadened and he paused for a moment.  

“As she has not attempted to kill us, I assume that, while she’s listening to our conversation, she does not speak Prench.” Cherval said nothing, nodding his accent. Morning Star smiled, although it wasn't a nice smile

“I’m going to switch back to Ponish now,” he went on as the disguised Chrysalis remained seemingly unaware. “And I’d like to follow my masquerade exactly.” Again, Cherval nodded.  

“Bien,” he said, and then switched back to Ponish as he got to his feet and replaced his cap. “Well, Monsieur. I think I have all I need here. I appreciate your cooperation.”

Morning Star moved to the door, grasping the handle in his magic. It was fairly clear what he wanted to do. He wanted to give Chrysalis the shock of her life. Jack and I stealthily moved around to the front of the house and stationed ourselves on either side of the doorway. Jack had his revolver drawn, and I had charged my magic with stun and dampening spells at the ready. And then, Morning Star threw the switch.  

“I shall stop by if I need anything further from you. But until then, I bid you...adieu!”  

He threw open the door as Jack and I burst from cover. However, it seemed that our foe was more wily than we thought. For as soon as he did so, she kicked the table over, giving herself some basic cover from our initial shocking barrage. Jack emptied six shots into it, and I blasted magic all over the place, with the now terrified Cherval, cowering in fright as chaos erupted around him. After a few seconds, Morning Star commanded that we stop, so we halted.  

The kitchen was now a mess, riddled with bullet holes and burn marks. To our amazement though, we soon learnt our enemy was not yet done in. In an unsettling display, the now undisguised changeling queen crawled out from her cover, up the wall and hung upside down on the ceiling. A moment later, she fixed those horrid green eyes on us. On me in particular. And she said something that I honestly had not been expecting.  

“Oh, it’s you,” she sneered, palpable hatred in her voice. That was when I truly felt scared. It dawned on me just how truly stupid our plan was.

With little warning, the changeling queen sprung off of the ceiling and flew towards the door, knocking Jack down as she flew by and sending his revolver clattering across the floor and leaving him dazed.  

As dangerous as Chrysalis was though, her main concern seemed to be flight. She didn’t try to capture us or anything else; she just fled out the door and began buzzing across the fields at low altitude. I was too stunned to move, and more than a little terrified at once again encountering Chrysalis at such close quarters.  

Morning Star however, was not so inclined. If his little display just now was anything to go by, my subconscious was far more ruthless than I was. Seeing Jack unconscious, and me scared stiff, he decided to take matters into his own hooves. I might have made peace with my dislike of changelings, and even Chrysalis, I only wish to see arrested and imprisoned. But he, he still despised her, and now he saw his chance. 

Activating his magic, he picked up Jack’s revolver and, stepping out onto the threshold, took proper stance and aimed at the escaping changeling. Squinting, he took aim and I saw the trigger tense as his magic began to draw it back. At that last moment though, he smiled slightly and lowered the weapon, before hollering after the retreating former queen:

“Au revoir, Chrysalis!” he called, with that same dark smile on his face.

**

I was surprised at how things had worked out. Although I suppose, in the long run, this was the best possible outcome that we could reasonably expect. Jack, ever the fixer, had his own people pay a visit to Cherval. One dose of amnestics later, he was none the wiser to his encounter. I too was none the worse for my experience. Although I too was sworn to secrecy about the whole incident. I honestly wonder if even the princesses knew what had happened. It was certainly difficult hiding my relief when I got home and found a slightly concerned Applejack waiting for me.  

But as I sat around the table with the Apples’, one thing kept bugging me; why Morning Star had held his fire at that last moment. I’m glad he did, but I didn’t know why. His disgust for Chrysalis is obvious to anypony who spends time with him, and he has in the past told me that he had no qualms about killing to protect those he loved. So why had he stepped back from the brink?  

I decided to ask him myself. That night, as the moon hung high and full in the sky, I headed outside and activated the spell again, once more bringing him out, and giving all my dark impulses form. He seemed unsurprised at the summons. The two of us stood opposite one another in the darkened farmyard before I spoke.

“Why didn’t ya kill her?” I asked. “Y’all had an easy shot, and you’ve been wanting to put her in the ground since before we came here. So why let her go?” My darker half looked up to the sky and the full moon that shone down on us.  

“As our father’s old friends would say; Tiocfaidh ar la,” he replied, in what I think was Gaelic.”Chrysalis will get hers. But as much as it pains me to say it, when the time comes to take her pelt, I won’t be the one who holds the knife. I have no intention of disrupting the intended flow of events. Today was just...a bit of sport.”

And with that, he once again vanished into my shadow, enigmatic as ever. I was a little surprised. Sure, I’ve done my best to stay out of the way of the ‘show’ most of the time. But I was surprised that my darker half had shown such restraint.  

Still, all's well that ends well as they say. Chrysalis’ plan had been foiled and we’d given her something to think about too. When she does eventually come up against Twilight and her friends, something tells me that it will be for the last time.
> Chapter 23 - The Great Spirit
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

While it went against my better judgement, I decided to keep my mouth shut about my, or should I say, our encounter with Chrysalis. My darker half had had a point; we’d come perilously close to affecting the outcome of events. Think of it this way, I am not supposed to be here in Equestria, nor is any of my family. We’re not part of the ‘script’ as Discord put it. There is a certain way things must go, and my little stunt yesterday with Jack very nearly altered the course of events. As painful as some events have been due to me, or one of my family not interfering, it’s very much a case of better the devil you know.  

Of course, I had to tell Applejack something. My marefriend almost instantly picked up that something was amiss when I got back. And let’s face it, when I’m talking to her, I can be a worse liar than AJ herself. Still, as I said before, I couldn’t just blab about what had happened. In the end, I managed to carefully skirt around the issue, telling her that I’d gone to see Lizzie, and then Jack had turned up to ask for my help, which had led both of us into the Everfree Forest. AJ can pick out an outright lie at twenty paces, but the same can’t be said for a lie of omission. I didn’t like doing it, but hopefully, when things come to a head, I’ll be able to explain things to not only Applejack, but Twilight and the others as well.  

Still, there was little to do about it now, although the incident had hardly left my mind. Unsurprisingly, I’d slept badly that night. I hadn’t had nightmares as such, not enough to catch Luna’s attention at any rate. They were more just, strange dreams. I suppose it was because the encounter had left me with so many questions. Even in sleep, my mind was buzzing as it tried to come up with answers.  

There were two things that stuck out in my mind. Firstly, what was she doing? We know that she created those screwed up copies of AJ and the others and that she went traipsing around for the Elements. What I didn’t know though, was; how the hell she knew about the Tree of Harmony? While Twilight is trying to get permission from Celestia to put it into her syllabus as part of her friendship school, at present, it’s pretty much a secret known only to a select few. Chrysalis sure as hell wasn’t on that list. And what were the odds that she would stumble on it by accident?  

The other issue had been our brief conversation. That kept me up at night. Those horrid green eyes staring right at me, filled with such hatred and malice and wicked cunning. But what had terrified me more, after I’d had time to dwell on it, was what she’d said. She’d recognised me. The venom in her voice had been palpable. How could she possibly know me? We’d never met until that day, technically speaking. The only other time our paths had crossed had been a paradox. I only remembered things because I was right in the epicentre. She shouldn’t remember anything about that. If she did, the paradox, remembering her death contrasted with her still being alive, would no doubt have driven her insane by now.  

Well, more insane, at any rate. From what Starlight told me, she didn’t take her forced abdication all that well. That worried me. Was I now on her hit list too? But still, the question persisted; how had she remembered me?  

And then of course, there was the matter of those copies. Now, this was less of a worry, and more of a curiosity. As I said before, due to the recent thawing of pony-changeling relations, we’ve learnt a lot more about their magic and how it works. However, while Thorax had transformed into a sort of leader, he was not a queen, or king. He didn’t have the same magical abilities that Chrysalis had; he could only change his form, like any other member of his species. In contrast, Chrysalis could cast spells like a unicorn. We know so little about her dark magic, and there was nothing even remotely close to whatever dark spell she’d used to create these copies from rotting trees, although I knew that was similar to how the first of her species came to be.  

I had far more questions than I did answers. And unfortunately, I wasn’t about to have some wonderful epiphany fall into my lap. The answers would come in time, when the former queen made her next daring move.  

That brought me back to today, a few weeks after my exciting little adventure. Today, I was no longer hot on the heels of a deadly fugitive. Today, I needed to work with little Apple Bloom, planting some new saplings to replace a few of the trees that had been sadly blown down. They’d been like that for a few weeks; the result of the large tornado that had nearly engulfed Canterlot. There had been light damage, such as blown out windows, as far out as Ponyville. That’s what you get when magicless monkeys fill a staff with magical power beyond their understanding and try to use it in any meaningful way.  

I let myself fall back into the comfortable and routines of home as the five of us had breakfast together. Applejack would be looking after the stall today, along with her big brother. He’d asked for her help this week for a bit of a strange reason.  

You see, it is a simple fact that most straight mares are attracted to Big Mac. Why, I have no idea, nor does Mac actually, in fact, his attempts to repulse them only seem to make the situation worse. Anyway, he’d always have a few of Ponyville’s single mares hit on him when he looked after the stall. At first, he said, it had been quite flattering, but at this point, the cat calls and longing stares were more unsettling than anything else. And of course, because double standards exist, he couldn’t easily tell them to shove off or complain about harassment. It had been bad enough before, but now he was with Sugar Belle, and therefore decidedly off the market, he’d expected things to die down a bit. Instead they’d just gotten worse.

Now, reverse the situation, and put AJ there. If some stallion were to hit on her and not take ‘I have a coltfriend’ for an answer, I’d happily smack him upside the head to hammer the point home. And so Big Mac’s little sister would be doing pretty much the same thing. She was going to help him manage the stall and tell any mare that made her brother uncomfortable precisely where to stick it, in her own subtle way.

That just left Granny, Apple Bloom and me on the farm for the day. The little filly was growing up fast now, and it was high time she really started to learn the ropes on how the farm works and thrives. Enter yours truly to act as an ad hoc teacher. Well, okay, more of a helper than anything else. We’d work together planting the new saplings.  





“Okay, come on, Apple Bloom!” I called out.

I was presently hooked up to the small cart that held all the new saplings that were to be planted. There were around twenty five or so to do. Along with them, I had a couple shovels; one for me, and a foal sized one for Apple Bloom. The saplings were all tightly packed together, and at a distance, it might look as though I was lugging about a lump of hedgerow.  

You know, now that I think about it, that’s one thing I haven’t really seen too much of here in Equestria. The quintessentially English style of dividing up fields isn’t really found here, with the possible exception of the Trottingham region, but that place is more just a stereotype than anything else.  

My brief pondering about the status of hedgerows in the land of small technicolour horses was fortunately cut off as my partner in crime came scampering out of the house. As ever, the little filly had her signature pink bow in her mane. Curiously though, she also had a pair of saddlebags on, which seemed to be filled with a variety of vials and test tubes, as well as a few different flowers and herbs.  

“Okay, Bones,” she declared brightly. “Ah’m ready.” I however, was a little curious about her cargo.  

“Hang on, AB,” I said consolingly. “What’s all that stuff ya got in your saddlebags?” Apple Bloom ears went flat against her skull.  

“Oh...erm...well, ya see, Bones,” she replied. “We’re gonna be mighty close to the Everfree Forest when we finish plantin’ all these new trees. So Ah though Ah might go and visit Zecora. Ah’ve been meanin’ to go and visit her for a couple weeks now. But me and the other Crusaders have just been so busy with helpin’ ponies find their cutie mark.” I frowned as my paternal instincts reared up.  

I can’t exactly remember when it started, but since moving to live with Apples, I’ve taken a real shine to the youngest member of the family. I guess it’s my own existing big brother instincts in a way. Along with Big Mac, I’ve taken to looking out for the filly, being a listening ear from time to time, helping her with homework, or simply playing with her and Winona. But in addition to that, I’ve also developed some rather paternalistic leanings, being deeply protective of her. While I would never claim to replace the venerable Bright Mac, I know she looks up to me.

“Now, Apple Bloom,” I said in an admonishing tone. “Ya know ya can’t go out into the forest on your own. It ain’t safe for a little filly.” Apple Bloom pouted adorably.  

“Aww, but Bones!” she said, dismayed. “Applejack’s been in there a bunch of times, and so have you and Big Macintosh.”

“When you're older ya can go in there on your own,” I said. “But a forest full of timberwolves, cragadiles and cockatrices ain’t safe for a filly. Tell ya what, once we’re done here, Ah’ll come along with ya, Ah’ve been meanin’ to go and see Zecora anyways.”  

That got her to perk up a little. I know she’s been railing against Applejack for a while now when it comes to looking after herself. If you think Mac or I are a little overprotective, we’ve got nothing on AJ. She can be like a mother hen at times when it comes to Apple Bloom. Perhaps that’s why I can be the way I am around AB. Applejack has stepped into the horseshoes of a surrogate mother, so maybe I’m doing the same?

And to be honest, it did also suit my schedule rather well too. It had been a couple days since that whole business with Chrysalis, and I was still dealing with the internal fallout. I’d remembered that Zecora had taken possession of what was left of those copies. Perhaps in studying them, I could gleam some ideas about how they were created. Well, that and it was always nice to see Zecora. The zebra was always engaging to talk to, and it would be interesting to see what Apple Bloom had been learning from her. Alchemy has become something of a hobby for the little filly over the years.  

The two of us left the farmyard and headed off into the apple orchards. It was a bit of a walk to where the new trees were to be planted. As I said, it was close to the Everfree Forest, on the side of the farm that faced Canterlot, and consequently caught the worst of the storm. It wasn’t too bad really, but the winds had been strong enough to uproot more than a few trees.  

The pair of us chatted as we walked. I always like to know what Apple Bloom has been up to as far as school goes, and of course her role as one of the Crusaders. Honestly, before long, they’re going to have to start charging ponies a few bits for a consultation. They’ve got a great business model going and a virtually limitless supply of new customers each year. We actually passed the Crusaders clubhouse on the way. Apple Bloom had been doing pretty well in her studies. Things have certainly been a lot better for her since she got her marks and sort of redeemed Diamond Tiara. I found myself becoming a bit nostalgic as she chatted about her school friends as my mind drifted back to when I was just a little kid in primary school.

Of course, that nostalgia was quickly broken as I remembered the horrible time I’d had in school, and how glad I’d been to see the back of the place. As bad as Diamond Tiara had used to be, at least she didn’t go around sticking foals heads in the toilets for fun.  

We soon reached the section of the orchard that needed replanting. The felled trees had already been cleared away by Mac. He’d hauled the trees back to the barn, where he and I would chop them up for firewood, either to use, or maybe sell to Burnt Oak. He’d also done the hardest task, and pulled out all the jagged stumps that were left behind. For me, magic or no, there’s just no way I could do that without some help. Applejack and I had also done a couple repairs to some sections of the fences here too, since they’d taken some damage as well. The area now looked none the worse for wear. All that needed to be done, was to plant the new young saplings to take the place of the fallen trees.   

“Okay, Apple Bloom,” I said as I unhitched myself from the wagon. “Let’s get to it. Where do ya want to start?”

Apple Bloom picked a spot fairly near to the fence line. As always, we’d plant the trees in rows, plugging the gaps where old trees had been felled. In a sense, it was a bit like how houses were rebuilt after the war. You’d often come across a street of ancient Edwardian houses, with a single more modern build sandwiched in between them, whose previous occupant had been destroyed during the Blitz. What we were doing was pretty similar, albeit with apple trees.  

Having picked a spot out, I activated my magic and levitated Apple Bloom’s shovel over to her, while grabbing one for myself too. The two of us set to work digging a hole to plant the new sapling in. Getting through the turf was a bit of a challenge, but under that, the soil was fairly loose and easy to shift. Apple Bloom made fairly quick work of it. As she’s getting older, her innate earth pony strength is really starting to come in. She’s not far off me as it is; she already provides more than a challenge at hoof wrestling. I have no doubt that, by her early teens, she’ll be stronger than me, at least physically.  

The hole didn’t need to be too deep; just enough to securely plant the tree and ensure that it’s roots could start latching into the surrounding soil. When we were finished, I carefully levitated over one of the new trees. They were all in plant pots, with their roots already growing at a fast pace. The packed soil in the pot also had a bit of fertiliser in it to promote growth. As I held it just over the hole we’d dug, Apple Bloom gently pulled away the plant pot, and then helped me gently set the tree in its new home. After that, it was just a case of covering the roots up and making sure it was all properly planted.  

“There. That’s the first one done,” Apple Bloom said, taking a moment to look at the newly planted tree as its branches swayed in the wind.  

“Eeyup,” I replied, mimicking her big brother. “Just twenty four more to go, AB.” Apple Bloom just rolled her eyes at me.





We spent the next few hours slowly plugging the gaps in the seemingly endless rows of trees. These young saplings wouldn’t be giving us any fruit for a while yet, but it was nice to see where the ancient patriarchs of the farm came from. And as well, I always liked planting new trees. It made me feel like I was leaving a mark. Someday, when I’m gone and turned to dust, these trees will still be here. I never believed in an afterlife; I always thought that it was our effect on the world that mattered, so to have something that would endure for years was nice.  

Sorry, I’m getting a bit wistful, aren’t I? Apple Bloom and I steadily worked our way through the plantings. Slowly but surely, the number of potted saplings in my cart dwindled down, until there was only one left. As Apple Bloom finishing digging out a spot for it, I gently lifted it out.

“Okay, last one, AB,” I said as I gently lowered it into place.  

“Can we go and see Zecora after this then?” Apple Bloom asked.  

I took a look at the sky. Equestria doesn’t have wristwatches, so I tend to use the sun and moon’s position to tell the time when I’m out in the fields. Right now, it was probably somewhere around one. We’d stopped at twelve to have lunch; I’d brought some dandelion sandwiches out for us, since I expected us to be out here a while. The sun was past its high point and beginning its slow journey back down below the horizon. In any case, it was more than enough time to reach Zecora’s and get back before night. I may be okay taking AB to see her, but even I won’t go in the Everfree after dark.

“Yeah, sure. Ah s’pose we can go now,” I agreed. “Do ya need to get anythin’ from your room?” the filly shook her head.  

“Zecora let’s me use some of her stuff when Ah come to visit. She says it’s safer than bringing my own out to her.” Smart move, I agreed.  

“Alright then. We’ll hop the fence and start headin’ in now,” I said.  

Lying down on my stomach for a moment, I let Apple Bloom climb up on my back, helping her hop over the fence that marked the edge of the farm. Beyond it lay the edge of the Everfree. It wasn’t too long ago that I was out here on my own in the evening, checking on the repairs to the fence, that I clocked a pack of timberwolves hanging around. I have a healthy respect for the Everfree and its many deadly denizens. Apple Bloom meanwhile, just merrily trotted on into the trees.  

Hoping the fence myself, I quickly made to follow her. While I do agree with her about how Applejack can be just a tad overprotective of her, I’m still not going to let her put herself in any danger. As we trotted through the increasingly dense woodland, I kept one eye on my young charge, and the other on the trees. I could already feel at least one pair of eyes on us.  





I still can’t work out what was going through Twilight’s head when she and the girls decided to take a trip through here, just for fun. Don’t get me wrong, the Everfree is a lot less dangerous than it used to be, partly due to Zecora’s presence, and also due to the restored Tree of Harmony. It’s still dangerous of course, but now it’s more like walking in the woods in the States. You have to watch out for bears, wolves, and other beasts, but as long as you keep your wits about you, there’s little to truly fear.  

At least, that was what I was telling myself as I walked with Apple Bloom along the path. Personally, I’ve avoided coming in here as much as I can. I still remember trying to find my way through here in an unfamiliar body when we first arrived. It seems so long ago now too. Still, I had my horn and my magic, which would help if anything dangerous did cross our path. And the Ursa Major lived far deeper in than Zecora’s home.  

In contrast, Apple Bloom, while still careful, seemed a lot more relaxed about the situation. I suppose when you know there’s no chimera waiting around the corner, and the cockatrice now knows not to harm ponies, there’s less to be afraid of. And she’s lived near to this place her whole life. It’s not that unusual to hear timberwolves howling late at night. For the first few months, that alone was enough to put me on edge.  

But like I said, most creatures in the Everfree were like bees; don’t bother them and they won’t bother you. And my equine senses, far sharper than a human’s, allowed me to safely skirt around a few things. Honestly, if it wasn’t so dark and foreboding, I wouldn’t find the Everfree that unsettling.  

Well, I suppose recent events had also left an impression. From what I was able to covertly gather from AJ, the girls had actually encountered their copies at various stages of their journey, which nearly caused a major falling out between them. While I knew Chrysalis to have fled, I couldn’t help but wonder where she had gone. Could she be within these very woods?  

I started chatting to Apple Bloom to try and keep my mind away from such thoughts. I’m fairly sure half of the things I was afraid of were just me jumping at shadows. The filly was completely relaxed, as if she were taking a stroll through Whitetail Wood. I suppose her time with Zecora is partly the cause.  

Before too long, we came upon the strange tree like hut that was the zebra shaman’s home. A light shone through each of the small porthole like windows. I was wondering on the way here if she might be out. Zecora can be quite nomadic at times, going deep into the Everfree for days at a time to collect rare herbs and plants. I knocked on the door with a hoof, and a moment later, the zebra herself answered.  

“Apple Bloom!” she said with a smile. “This is a surprise. I was just about to leave my home in search of fresh supplies.”  

“Hey, Zecora,” Apple Bloom replied cheerily. “Sorry Ah haven’t been to visit for a while. Ah’ve just been so busy crusadin’ and stuff.”

“I do not mind, child,” the zebra replied. “In fact, if you wish, you can help me pick flowers from the wild.”

Apple Bloom looked at me with a pleading expression that I’ve sadly not always found myself able to overcome. She can just turn the sad eyes on and off whenever she needs it.  

“Alright, AB,” I said. “Ya can go with Zecora.” That was enough for her, and before I could tell her that she needed to stick close to the shaman, she’d scampered off into the trees like a deer. I turned to Zecora, who was about to follow her.

“Zecora, before ya go,” I said, catching her by the foreleg. “Ah wanted to ask, do you still have those remains from the other day?” Zecora’s eyes widened a moment as she nodded.  

“Indeed I do. But in furthering my understanding, they provide little clue,” she replied. “The copies are no more, that is quite clear. But I find myself looking at that crystal tree, and shivering with fear.”

That I could understand. From her description of the event, after the six copies and Chrysalis had unequivocally shown themselves to be imposters, the tree had seemed to reach out, grabbing them all into magical tendrils, before seeming to drain the life out of them. It certainly didn’t fit with the somewhat enigmatic, but ultimately benevolent entity I had known before.  

“Ah’m gonna head down to the Tree,” I explained. “Ah’m not sure what Ah can do, but Ah wanna see if Ah can work out what happened, and why.” Zecora frowned as she began to head off after Apple Bloom. But she left me with some parting words.  

“Do not misunderstand, it is no more evil than fire. But if I were you, I would be careful not to draw its ire.”

Zecora could be like that. I always suspected she knew far more than she let on. So often, she spoke in riddles; ones that seemed so often to make no sense. But she was nothing compared to the enigmatic being I would soon meet.  

Leaving both zebra and filly to go off on their own little adventure, I began to make my way towards the ancient Castle of the Royal Pony Sisters, to use the building’s full title. One of these days, I must ask Luna what possessed her and her sister to build their home here. I can understand desiring space and being away from other ponies, but when you’re back garden is full of unspeakable horrors, the benefits tend to outweigh the cost if you ask me.  

I knew the route fairly well. The path from Zecora’s to the castle was well trod, and the trail easy to follow. I was glad that it was still daytime. While the rest of the forest might be dark and foreboding, the castle itself is in a vast clearing and in daylight at least, is no more spooky than any castle ruin back home. Actually, the path I was now on was part of the very same one that I followed, along with my family, when we first arrived. I wasn’t too far away from where the rift had opened up.  

Before too long, I emerged from the thick trees and found myself out of the woods on a patch of open grassland. In front of my stood the ancient castle. All I had to do was head down the stairs into the dried out moat, and there, nestled in an alcove, I would find the Tree of Harmony that had stood for over a millennia, growing from the seeds of the ancient Pillars. With no small sense of trepidation, I headed down the steps.





I soon found myself standing before the Tree of Harmony. I’d always felt a slight feeling of awe around it, but now, standing where Chrysalis had been, I felt a twinge of fear. I was reminded just how powerful the elements that sat within its branches were. I wasn’t really sure what I was doing here. I mean, even at the best of times, this strange, somewhat sentient magical object was cryptic enough. It was hardly likely that I’d be able to find anything.  

I ended up just sitting down on my rump and staring at the glowing tree. I had so many questions for it. Why didn’t it interfere when Nightmare Moon or Discord returned? How did it know to provide that lock box to help defeat Tirek, and why didn’t it warn anypony beforehand? Why didn’t it do anything when the changelings occupied Twilight’s castle, since that was just an extension of itself? And why did it remain dormant during the Storm King’s brief invasion, without giving any warning beforehoof? And of course, most of all, what did it do to those copies of the Mane Six, and why didn’t it make any attempt to capture Chrysalis too?  

I figured that really this trip to the castle had been a waste of time. While it never made its intentions clear, the Tree was clearly a force for good. It wanted to help preserve harmony in Equestria and even beyond. Beyond that goal though, I would be able to gleam little of its plan or motives.

Just before I left, I found myself reaching out with a hoof. I felt this odd desire, no, an almost childlike need, to touch the ancient gift from the Pillars of Old Equestria. It was like touching the wooden hull of the Victory, or dipping your hands in waters of the Sea of Galilee. The Tree was this ancient, mystical thing, like a spirit.

The moment my hoof made contact with the crystalline trunk, I felt something. Incredibly powerful magic touched me for the briefest instant, temporarily forcing my hoof in place. Seconds later, the tree itself began to glow brightly as it seemed to power up, awakening in some way. Once again, I felt more than a twinge of fear in my very soul. Perhaps understandably, I began to back away.  

However, just as soon as the unsettling display began, it stopped. The tree returned to its normal, serene state, glowing and humming softly. I was about to go galloping off to find Zecora and tell her what had just happened, when I heard hoofsteps on the stone floor. A shadow appeared briefly behind the tree, and a moment later, a figure appeared.  

It was Luna! The Princess of the Night seemed to step out from nowhere behind the tree. She looked different somehow. Her form seemed to shimmer and sparkle, as she wasn’t quite in focus. I couldn’t quite put my hoof on it, but something about her just seemed...off. Not wrong, or evil, just off, like it didn’t quite fit. She walked over to me, kind eyes staring into my own.  

“Luna?” I asked perplexedly. “What...what are y’all doin’ out here?”

“You have questions,” she replied, her voice echoing and a little indistinct. “I am here to offer answers to you, the anomaly.” Okay, something wasn’t right here. Between the shimmering and odd behaviour, I had a feeling I wasn’t talking to Luna really.  

“Anomaly?” I repeated. ‘Luna’ nodded.  

“You are a stranger here,” she explained. “You do not belong. You and others fell through time and space.” She obviously meant our arrival through the rift.

“Ah am a stranger in this land,” I replied. “But the way to my old world was sealed away some time ago. So Ah must stay here.” ‘Luna’ nodded.

“I have seen that” she replied with a nod. “You are a creature of harmony; you are in balance. It is why I have taken this form to speak with you.”  

“And, who are you, exactly?” I asked, half suspecting the answer, but not quite believing that it was possible. ‘Luna’ turned and gestured toward the Tree of Harmony.

“I only learned to take on this form a short time ago. As I have grown over time, I have learned, and become more than what I originally was.”

“You are the Tree of Harmony?” I asked, my voice barely a whisper. The Tree nodded.  

“You came here seeking answers,” it went on. “Ask your questions, anomaly. And I shall do my best to answer them.”

And so, I had a sit and talked with the Tree of Harmony. I’m fairly sure that’s the most out there thing I’ve done at this point. While it isn’t a deity by any stretch of the imagination, the experience did feel somewhat like talking to God. I didn’t have to explain to much to it, the Tree seemed almost omniscient.  

However, when it came to my own questions, such as the ones I talked about earlier, the Tree once again went back to being all evasive and cryptic. It answered my question, just as it promised, but only raised two more in the process. I wasn’t too surprised by that, although I was a little annoyed by it. Interestingly though, it told me something that allied with my own views on life in Equestria.  

“There is much I can do,” the image of Luna said. “But I only interfere when it is necessary; when the time is right. Like the sun,” (Referring to Celestia). “I help ponies to discover the magic of friendship, I am not a weapon for defence, or a tool to solve all problems. The same could be said for you, anomaly. You had the chance to capture a great evil not so long ago, but you stayed your hoof. You understood that events had to follow their course.”

“Sometimes it is difficult to remember that,” I replied. “Ah want to warn my friends about Chrysalis, but we both know Ah can’t.”

It was then that a thought occurred. The Tree had, if you will, the script of what was to come in front of it. It knew the future due to its unique properties. Time was something it didn’t fully understand. I had to actually explain the concept of past, present and future. The Tree was a little confused by this, until it declared that ponies were ‘linear’. As far as it was concerned, everything had happened, would happen and was happening right now. It could return to any moment it chose, or advance to it as the case may be. I consider myself fairly smart, but even I couldn’t quite wrap my head around it. But what I did know, is that it knew what was around the corner, and over the next hill. It could give me a heads up. So I asked.  

“You have knowledge of what is our future,” I said carefully. “Can ya tell me what the next great danger will be? You know I will not interfere.” The image of Luna however, shook her head.  

“I cannot tell you,” it replied serenely.  

“Why not?” I asked. “Y’all have told me so much already.” Now it nodded.

“I have told you what you would be told. You will not know what comes next, and so you do not know.” Well, that made perfect sense.  

I think it meant something about predestination. As it experienced all time at once, everything was already laid out. It was just following the script, just as the show did. This meeting was supposed to take place, and I was supposed to ask about what the next big finale threat was. But the Tree was supposed not to tell me.

That was pretty much the end of our conversation. The Tree told me that I could not tell anypony about what had happened. That stung. I was already keeping ponies in the dark about Chrysalis, but now I had to also hide the fact that the Tree of Harmony was sentient and able to communicate? Still, as I said before, it was a case of better the devil you know. As painful as some days have been, good has always triumphed over evil in the end. And I have no desire to put that at risk.

Bidding goodbye to the strange being that I had conversed with for the last ten minutes or so. I watched as it seemed to fade back into the Tree itself. I felt somewhat reassured in a way. The Tree was now a little less mysterious in its motivations. But at the same time, it had become even more so. Taking one last look at the strange being that had so secretly thwarted the plans of the vile changeling queen, I headed back up the steps of the moat and made my way back to Zecora’s hut, where Apple Bloom was waiting for me.
> Chapter 24 - Logic
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

After my strange meeting with the Tree of Harmony, my life returned to nearly normal. Well, as normal as life ever gets in Equestria. I found myself once again relaxing into comfortable routines. There was little point in worrying about what the future might bring, and I found myself trusting in the same providence that has seen Equestria through trouble time and time again. To paraphrase Otto von Bismarck, the German chancellor, I believe there is a providence, which protects idiots, drunkards, little foals, and the Realm of Equestria.  

So, I found my time once again taken up by a combination of farm life, and my own studies into magic. At present, the former, rather than the latter were taking precedence. It was getting on for early autumn now, and Applebuck Season was not far off. Applejack had booked some time off from the school in order to help me, Big Mac and even little Apple Bloom with the yearly harvest. And this year looked to be more fruitful than ever, if you’ll excuse the pun. That meant even more trees to harvest and, rather happily, just a little more produce for us to sell. The Apples’ do have modest savings stashed away for a rainy day, but as I’ve said before, farming is a profession where profits are also tight, so it was nice to be able to increase our safety net just that little bit more.  

The apples that we’d harvest over the season would either be sold at the market in town, set aside for a few weeks down the line to go into making cider, or would be shipped out to other towns. Well, when I say shipped, I mean me, Mac or AJ would cart them out there ourselves with the wagon. We actually did quite a few deliveries of all sorts of produce to other parts of Equestria, such as Applejack’s regular delivery of pies out to the bayou country, or Big Mac’s deliveries down to Starlight’s old village. I even help sometimes and every now and then make the odd delivery all the way down to Appleloosa to see Brayburn. He’s nice to chat with, queer as all hell, but a nice guy nonetheless. I was just happy to see how accepting the rest of the family was, particularly when you compare them to their human analogues.  

Anyway, like I said, things were falling back into their routines. But then, of course, the map decided to throw a spanner in the works. AJ found herself sent off on a friendship mission, along with Fluttershy, to the infamous Peaks of Peril. A brief gallop through Twilight’s library told me that the unfortunately named area was supposedly inhabited by two tribes of equine like creatures; the Kirin and the Nirik. In hindsight, I should have spotted the obvious spelling reversal and the kind of obvious ying-yang imagery, but we all have our blind spots.  

As ever, I couldn’t help but help be a touch worried for my marefriend’s safety, despite the fact that she’s strong enough to easily wrestle me to the ground and pin me in just under thirty seconds, and she's faced far more serious foes before. Plus, if the map had sent her, then the Tree of Harmony was following it’s little plan, which meant all would prosper. So, I found myself once again briefly bidding her goodbye for a day or so. The peaks were quite a journey from Ponyville, even by train. So it would be a couple of days before she would be back.  

As always, Big Mac and I did our best to pass the time by keeping ourselves busy, and somewhat doting on Apple Bloom. The filly has quickly learned that whenever her big sister is away, she’s much more likely to be able to go to the ice cream shop or eat out at the Hay Burger. Just our way of coping, I suppose.  

Luckily for the two of us, Applejack wasn’t gone that long on this particular little quest. She and Fluttershy got back to Ponyville the very next day. She got back to the farm in the early evening, when the sun was low in the sky and everything was bathed in golden light, with the sky lit up as if it were on fire. I loved these cool autumn evenings, and would often take advantage of the pleasant weather to play with Winona. As Applejack came trotting up the path, I was busy playing fetch with her, using my magic to throw a stick far further than I could physically. It was the only hope you had of tiring the excitable collie out enough for her to go to sleep for the night.  

As I was waiting for the clever little canine to retrieve her prize, I spotted AJ’s silhouette against the sunset as she came walking over.  

“Applejack!” I called out in delight, briefly forgetting the game I was playing with Winona and trotting over to her. I pulled her into a brief hug which she gladly returned.  

“Hey, sugarcube,” she replied with that coy smile of hers. “Did ya miss me?” I smiled.

“Course Ah missed ya’ Jack,” I replied. “It always seems more quiet on the farm when y’all aren’t around. How did your mission go anyway?”

“We had a real doozy of a problem up there, Bones,” Applejack explained. “But Fluttershy and me were able to help the Kirin solve their problems.”

“So what was the matter then? And what about the Nirik?” I asked. Applejack explained.  

The Kirin and the Nirik were actually one and the same. While the Kirin were calm and peaceful, the Nirik were creatures that could access something along the lines of fire based spells. When the Kirin got angry, they turned into Nirik. This had previously resulted in the small community accidentally burning down their own village, when one small, petty argument turned into a town wide brawl.  

Applejack and Fluttershy arrived after the village had been repaired, for the most part. The Kirin however, had undergone quite the change. In a rather drastic move, they had decided that none of them would ever speak again. That way, there could never be any arguments. To that end, they turned to the magical world around them. The nearby Stream of Silence had unusual properties. Anycreature who came into contact with the water permanently lost their ability to speak. The Kirin, including their leader, Rain Shine, had all gone for a bath. The experience left them not only silent, but also seemed to completely suppress their emotions.  

“Sweet Celestia!” I exclaimed in shock. I couldn’t imagine doing something so drastic, even if I do sometimes talk more than my fair share. “How did ya figure it all out?”

Applejack went on to explain their somewhat awkward arrival in the village. The silent Kirin had done little but give them odd looks when they tried to speak. It ended up with AJ resorting to the tried and true British method of communicating with people you didn’t understand; speaking more loudly and slowly. When that hadn’t worked, she’d gone off to look around the area, leaving Fluttershy alone with about two dozen or so slightly off putting mutes.  

AJ’s plan was to try and find the village of the Nirik, which she assumed would be somewhere nearby. She figured that if the Kirin didn’t want to talk, perhaps the Nirik would. However, she didn’t find any Nirik on her short journey. Instead she ran into the only talking Kirin; Autumn Blaze.

At first, AJ had simply been surprised by the fact that she could speak at all, in light of the peculiar reception she and Fluttershy had received back at the village. It was Autumn Blaze who explained to her why the Kirin were so quiet and apathetic. She told Applejack the story of how one little argument had almost burnt down their entire village, also revealing that Kirin and Nirik were one and the same. She went on to explain her own story. She was the only one who, after going through the Stream of Silence, had tried to reverse the effect. Initially, she’d tried to remain with her fellow Kirin. But the difference between herself and the others was stark to say the least. In the end, she’d ended up pretty much exiled from the village for her disruptive behaviour. At this point, she’d been living on her own for some time.  

“Ah reckon it was livin’ out on her own like that that made her a mite...odd,” Applejack explained. “She was a nice enough pony, er, kirin, Ah mean. But ya couldn’t help but think she was a few apples short of a bushel.”

“Well, livin’ on your own with nopony to talk to can drive anypony a little nuts,” I replied. “Ah remember when Ah was in high school, my folks and my little sister went on vacation, leavin’ me to watch the house. Ah think it was about three days before Ah started talkin’ to myself.”

“Well, Autumn Blaze had been on her own longer than that,” AJ said, remembering her strange new friend. “Still, it was nice to actually meet somepony that would talk to ya.”

“So then what happened?” I asked. Applejack went on.

After listening to Autumn Blaze’s story, Applejack had a rough idea of how to help the Kirin. Obviously, what they had done was just a partial solution, and not really solving their problems. Just because you don’t talk to somepony doesn’t mean you don’t butt heads from time to time. They were all just bottling up and repressing their problems instead of solving them. The problem though, was that the effects of the Stream of Silence were permanent. The only reason Autumn Blaze was able to talk and feel was because she had managed to cultivate an antidote from a local plant called Foal's Breath. But she’d only been able to find a small amount; enough for herself, but not enough to cure the rest of her people.  

Now having a better idea of how to solve this friendship problem, Applejack had headed back to the village. Fluttershy, while she had been gone, had managed to establish a basic rapport with the other Kirin and had heard their side of the story, coming up with her own solution. The result was that when AJ and Fluttershy met up again, they both had differing opinions on how to help the Kirin. Applejack wanted to cure them of their silence and get them talking again. Fluttershy on the other hoof, saw this as too much of a risk due to the Kirin and Nirik’s innate fire based magic. After all, it had only taken one small difference of opinion to almost destroy the entire village in an inferno.  

And so, the two had a bit of an argument. I know for a fact that Applejack can be incredibly stubborn when she thinks she’s right about something. Still, it was hardly the end of the world. I expected the next part of the story to show how they managed to find common ground and helped the Kirin solve their problem. Well, that’s sort of what happened.  

As the pair continued to argue, the Kirin around them looked on in what to them, was deep concern and alarm. AJ and Fluttershy of course, didn’t really notice anything, since with no emotions or speech, it was difficult to tell what they were thinking. As it turned out, they were all actually quite alarmed. While neither Applejack nor Fluttershy would turn into Nirik due to their anger towards each other, the Kirin feared that their discord would spread to them if not promptly contained.

Consequently, the two mares suddenly found themselves lifted up by the combined magic of the Kirin around them. While at first unsure of what was going on, the pair soon realised their destination. They were about to go for a swim. The Kirin were carrying them toward the Stream of Silence in order to induce the same effect that they had experienced. A single drop of that water would render them mute and emotionless for the rest of their days!

“Well, obviously ya figured a way out,” I said with a smile. Applejack chuckled.  

“Actually, it was Autumn Blaze that saved us,” she explained. “She came to save us in her Nirik form. That got the Kirin to put us down, and Fluttershy got to see that the Kirin could control their anger. Autumn Blaze was only mad when her friends tried to dunk us in the river. As soon as we were safe, she turned back to normal. She was the one who finally managed to convince the others that silence and livin’ without emotion ain’t no way to live at all.”

“Friends might squabble from time to time, but there’s so much more. The positives sure outweigh the negatives if ya ask me,” I agreed. Applejack nodded.

“That was pretty much what Autumn Blaze said,” she replied. “And that was what convinced the Kirin to change back. Only problem was, there weren’t no more of that Foals Breath left for Autumn Blaze to make more of her cure.”

“So they were stuck like that?” I asked. Applejack shook her head.

“Remember those critters Fluttershy was fussin’ over when Ah was tryin’ to scale the peaks?” she asked.

“Yeah.”

“Turns out that they knew where to find more of the stuff. Little varmints had been usin’ ‘em in their dens. Autumn Blaze was able to mix the cure into the fountain in the village. It was enough to cure all of ‘em. Their leader, Rain Shine, let her back into the village too.”

“Well, sounds like everythin’ turned out alright in the end,” I surmised. “And Ah take it y’all and Fluttershy made up as well.”

“Of course,” AJ replied with a wave of her hoof. “Like ya said Bones; friends fight from time to time, but repressin’ everythin’ just to stop an outburst of anger ain’t the way to go. Shoot, if it hadn’t been for her way with animals, we’d never have been able to find any more of that there Foals Breath.”

“And without you, AJ, the Kirin wouldn’t have realised how normal it was for friends to squabble from time to time. It ain’t easy to admit you’re not perfect after all.”

“Aww, thanks, Bones,” AJ said as she moved in to nuzzle me for a moment.  

It sounded like Applejack had been on quite the adventure, certainly a step up from the last time she and Fluttershy went on a friendship mission; when they went to Las Pegasus and helped expose that jackass Gladmane. And run into those hucksters Flim and Flam. Still, despite the flaw in their idea, I couldn’t help but be slightly fascinated with the solution the Kirin had come up with. I couldn’t help but be reminded of the Vulcans from Star Trek. Their story was pretty similar. Ancient Vulcans had nearly destroyed themselves in war, until Surak, preaching a philosophy of peace and logic over emotion and passion, had helped them repress their violent emotions, becoming the species we were familiar with. Well, unless Pon Farr rolled around, then all bets were off.  





A couple of days later, and Applejack’s story about the Kirin was still rattling about in my mind. It hadn’t really dawned on me just how significant their little adventure had been. This was the first time ponies and Kirin had come into contact with each other in quite some time. It was like white explorers coming across some unknown tribe deep in the heart of the Amazon rainforest. From an academic standpoint, there was quite a bit of work to be done. The scope for research was pretty much endless, since there was so little information about their culture and history. After all, let’s not forget that what records we had, incorrectly portrayed the Kirin and Nirik as separate species that were in conflict with one another, instead of one and the same with interesting magical properties.  

Now, I’d written a few articles and monographs here and there in my time. A couple had even been published in respectable journals, copies of which I kept very close to my heart. But they’d been fairly minor in their scope. After all, in this day and age, there was little we didn’t understand about magic, and what remained to be discovered required an intellect far in excess of my own.  

The rediscovery and successful first contact with the Kirin however, presented a rather unique opportunity. I could be among the first to document their society, their unique magic, and their history. I could really put my mark on things; like those old Victorian explorers who discovered native tribes in Africa, or European settlers who first established contact with the Native Americans (although hopefully without the various problems those two examples caused).

In any case, I suddenly found myself imbued with a spirit of adventure and exploration, something that isn’t usually my scene, since I prefer to keep watch on the old homestead here on Sweet Apple Acres. However, I found myself wanting to go out and meet these Kirin, to learn a little more about them. If nothing else, I was keen to learn about their magic, and possibly how the Stream of Silence had the ability to deprive a creature of both its voice and emotions.  

Of course, I couldn’t just drop everything and go gallivanting off. As the spring drew on, the farm was quickly coming back to life. All of us were kept pretty busy, having spent the winter in something of a slumber, apart from the excitement brought on by Hearth’s Warming Eve. On that note, my knitting skills have finally gotten good enough so that this year I could make my own doll for the fireplace. Anyway, to come back to my point, I didn’t have the free time at present to leave the farm and go off exploring. But I knew that eventually I would have some time off, so I began to make a plan.  

I figured that it would be a good idea to go with somepony the Kirin already knew, considering their reaction to AJ and Fluttershy when they turned up unannounced. It would be a chance for me and AJ to spend some time together too. We could travel up to the peaks together, and then spend a couple days visiting the Kirin village. It would also give Applejack a chance to see how the little village was doing now that they all had their voices and emotions back.  

There was something else I wanted to do as well. Among the modest book collection I have in my room is a copy of The Teachings of Surak. Okay, sure it’s technically a piece of Star Trek merchandise, but it is also quite an interesting philosophical text. I figured that it might make a nice middle ground for the Kirin. While they couldn’t suppress their emotions like Vulcans could, it would give them the mental tools to help control their emotions, and prevent them from accidentally turning into Nirik again.   

I pitched my idea to Applejack, who was more than happy to go and visit, particularly to see Autumn Blaze again. While that particular Kirin may be as mad as Pinkie Pie, she and Applejack had become fast friends. Twilight too was rather keen to hear how the Kirin were adjusting when I told her about my plan in passing, when I went to see her to return some books of hers that I’d borrowed.  

In the end Applejack and I planned to head out for just a couple days, leaving Big Mac and Apple Bloom to look after the farm, along with Caramel, who had offered to lend a hoof and pitch in.  





The first part of the journey was relatively straightforward; a simple, if lengthy train ride. The last time me and AJ had done something like this was when we’d gone north to the Crystal Empire. She’d gone to buy up some local produce to try and transplant onto Sweet Apple Acres, and I attended a lecture given by Sunburst, actually running into the new Royal Crystaller at one point. That had also been something of a holiday for us too. As I’ve already said, it’s pretty hard for us to get away from the farm much, less so now that AJ’s also working as a professor at Twilight’s school.  

As the train rattled along, we chatted to each other to pass the time. AJ told me a few interesting stories from the school, mainly about some of her more notable students. She was telling me a story she’d heard from Twilight and Rainbow that happened on Hearth’s Warming Eve. The school was pretty much empty as most students had gone home for the holiday. Of course, that hadn’t stopped Pinkie Pie from decking the halls, including a massive Hearth's Warming tree in the dorms. Twilight was just about to wish the last of the students well when somecreature poured something onto the fire of friendship (the glowing magical heart shaped flame that sits on top of the tree) that caused it to create a massive pile of goo that ruined the whole room. Twilight and RD ended up having to have a little investigation to find the culprit, which turned out to be Gallus, their only griffon student. It ended up with him and the other non-pony students staying behind to clear up the mess and do extra work, but also getting to celebrate the holiday together.  

AJ’s story came to an end as we reached our stop; a virtually deserted, ramshackle station out in the middle of scenic nowhere. The nearby Peaks of Peril were the only real feature. Getting off the train, and briefly having the living daylights scared out of me by the crazy old station master, the two of us began to make our way over to the peaks themselves.  

“That’s one heck of a climb there, AJ,” I commented, letting out a low whistle. We had a few supplies, but it looked like you’d need mountaineering equipment just to get up there.

“Oh, ain’t nothin’, sugarcube,” Applejack replied. “Besides, Ah know a much easier way in.”

Trotting over to some nearby shrubbery, she pulled it back to reveal a modest passage. Apparently, Fluttershy had found this by talking to the local wildlife, while AJ herself had been trying to climb the peaks herself. Needless to say, Fluttershy’s route was noticeably easier. And personally, as a unicorn with no wings and barely enough power to cast a brief self-levitation spell, I don’t much care for heights.

Passing through the rocky crevice, we soon found ourselves in a lush, jungle like environment; a stark contrast to the barren, arid landscape that we’d just left. Applejack led me over to a path that cut through the dense jungle and before too long, I began to notice other tracks on the ground. They were similar to a pony’s hooves, but ever so slightly different. From what I understood, Kirin were a lot like ponies, but with a bit of hippogriff thrown in there, with lion like mane, and tails, and a strange dual pointed red horn like appendages, which allowed them to use magic analogous to unicorns.  

After a few minutes of walking, Applejack pushed back some of the foliage and revealed our destination. The Kirin village was small, but still an impressive sight. Of most note was the large fountain that stood in the centre of the village, which was the Kirin’s water supply. It was there that Autumn Blaze had introduced her antidote allowing all the Kirin to talk and feel again. The village looked to be relatively busy at the moment, and lively too, with Kirin bustling around the settlement’s main square. Nearby, I picked out one Kirin that stood taller than the rest, and I surmised that that was Rain Shine, their leader. It made sense to make our presence known to her first, so we both trotted over, quickly catching the attention of the nearby villagers.   

The larger kirin quickly noticed our arrival and came over to greet us. She was a little suspicious of me at first, at least until AJ explained who I was. She was certainly happy to see the Element of Honesty again. Applejack introduced me to her and I explained my interest in their small society. The taller kirin seemed more than eager to help and was just about to usher us inside, when we were set upon by the Kirin’s answer to Pinkie Pie.  

“Applejack! You came to visit!” The kirin exclaimed, pulling the earth pony into a bone crushing hug, giving AJ a taste of her own medicine.  

“Hey there, Autumn Blaze,” Applejack replied with a slight laugh as she gently pried herself free from the kirin’s grip. “It’s good to see ya again. This here’s Blade Star.” I reached out and shook the kirin’s hoof.

“Please, friends call me Bones,” I said with a smile. “Pleasure to meet ya, Autumn Blaze.”

“So what brings you back to our little village?” the kirin asked curiously.  

“Well, Ah wanted to talk with y’all a bit about your vow of silence that ya used to have,” I explained.  





So the two of us sat down with Autumn Blaze, Rain Shine and several other kirin to explain the reason for our impromptu visit. I told them how their own attempts at emotional suppression were similar to an idea from my world and explained a little bit about Surak and the Vulcans. I may have embellished things a bit here, since I didn’t tell them that Vulcans were just fictitious, but their ideas were still sound nonetheless.  

I explained my interest in their experiment with emotional suppression. While their small village seemed to be thriving again with no real problems, I thought they might be interested in a sort of middle ground between the two views they held when it came to talking to one another. Their problem hadn’t really been talking to one another, it had been emotion. They’d got into arguments, become irrational, and consequently done irrational things, like nearly burn their own village down. So, while they were all friends and happy to talk out their problems, I figured it couldn’t hurt to give them this little bit of knowledge. If nothing else Vulcan meditation made a good mental exercise.  

Several of the Kirin were quite interested in the idea, and I decided to let them keep my copy of the Teachings of Surak, which is pretty much the only copy translated into Ponish, thanks to Twilight. Others, such as Autumn Blaze, were not opposed to the idea, but preferred their new more emotional outlook on life. It was certainly nice to see that the kirin had gotten her own emotional stability under control. Living around a bunch of mutes for ages was enough to drive anypony a little batty. Applejack was just glad to see that she was no longer having to check that she was pronouncing her words correctly.  

Overall, we had a fun time in the Kirin village. In addition to everything else we were doing, I also got to learn a little bit more about Kirin history, courtesy of Rain Shine, their leader. They were a fascinating species, and the larger kirin was even kind enough to clue me in on some aspects of their magic. As I suspected, most of it was tied into their emotions.

In the end, we spent the better part of a day with the kirin. The only downside was that Fluttershy hadn’t been able to come with us. I’m no expert, but I think some of the woodland critters we encountered were hoping to see her with us. Still, it was a great experience, giving me a chance to meet new ponies, broaden my horizons and do some proper field research to boot.  





And so, after having the singular honour of being only the third pony to have contact with the kirin for over a hundred years, Applejack and I prepared to head home. We decided to make our trip home a little more interesting, or rather, Applejack did. The mare had brought a bit of climbing gear with her, mainly her lasso and a few more lengths of rope. After a bit of encouragement, and a promise that she wouldn’t let me drop to my death, the two of us ended up abseiling down the peaks back down to terra firma.  

I won’t lie, after I got over the initial fear and stopped dwelling too heavily on the no doubt fatal drop I would face if I lost my footing, it was actually quite enjoyable. As a rule, I’ve never been one for extreme sports or outdoor pursuits, aside from maybe a spot of orienteering to keep my map skills up to par. But it was quite exhilarating carefully working my way down the sheer rock face, with AJ beside me.  

Eventually, the two of us reached the bottom and made our way back to the train station. The unhinged station master initially thought we were vengeful spirits come back from the Peaks of Peril to haunt him. After convincing him that we were just as mortal as he, we got him out of his hut on the platform, and found out that the next train was a couple hours away.  

So the two of us ended up sitting on the platform chatting to each other. The conversation of course, invariably turned towards Vulcans, which led to me telling AJ about Star Trek. I may have slipped from conversation and into lecture mode at one point. Personally I don’t think Applejack needed to know my opinion on the Star Trek Enterprise finale, no matter how terrible, stupid, badly written, and illogical it was and made no sense because they had to just put it on the air despite losing at least a couple of seasons because ratings hit the floor…

Sorry, there I go again. We did manage to chat about other things. AJ and I got to talking about Autumn Blaze. From my own experience, she wasn’t quite as unhinged as when AJ had first met her. Some time spent with talking kirin had really helped her psyche. Honestly, I think if things had gone on much longer, her isolation could very well have taken a darker turn; Ed Kemper dark. Still, she was a nice enough pony...er, kirin. Between her, Rain Shine and a few others, I had quite the set of notes; more than enough to publish a few articles and maybe even a paper or two. If nothing else, it made an interesting psychology case study.  

The pair of us were finally brought out of our reprieve when the train arrived, bound for Ponyville again. It was late in the evening by now, so the ride would be overnight. Not that either of us were about to complain. I certainly don’t mind a night having to avoid Big Mac.  

Although, I’m not sure how our neighbours in the other compartments felt about it.
> Chapter 25 - Sludge
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I don’t know what it is, lad,” Mum was saying. “There’s just something about her that rubs me the wrong way.” I set my cup of coffee down on the table.  

“Mom, she’s not in your class. Heck, she ain’t even in your school. How did ya even find out about this kid anyhow?”

I’d decided to stop by to say hi to Mum and Dad. The old man himself was still up in Canterlot, hard at work, but with today being a Saturday, Mum was home from school, and all the foals had once again been set at liberty. We’d been chatting about odds and ends, catching up on what was going on in each other’s lives and so on. I’d been talking about how Applejack had been getting along in her new vocation, when Mum brought up this student.  

You see, the School of Friendship is more like a high school or university really. The students are still legally kids, but most of them are nearly full grown. There were some exceptions though, with a few young foals having been sent to attend as well. A few of them were about Apple Bloom’s age and had their own classes. It was only natural that students from the two schools would cross paths. And that was where Mum had come into things.  

There was this one foal, named Cozy Glow, and for whatever reason, my Mum had a serious problem with her. I’d not met her myself, but AB and the other Crusaders had crossed paths with her. Apart from having a somewhat sickly sweet personality, I couldn’t see that much wrong with her. She was a pegasus as well, with no direct access to magic beyond that which would eventually allow her to fly. Mum on the other hoof, assured me, in no uncertain terms, that there was something deeply wrong with the filly, the sort of thing you get Social Services involved in.  

“I ran into her when she came to hang out with the Crusaders after school,” she went on, still adamant about her point. “There was just something...off about her. Like everything she did was just an act. Everything she said just made your skin crawl. A kid couldn’t tell, but an adult could see she’s seriously manipulative.” I finished off my cup of coffee and looked across at Mum.

“So you’re saying she’s bitch? So what? Ya do get them in schools.”

“Language, Bones!” Mum scolded me sharply. “And it’s more than that anyway. I think she might have some sort of condition.” I barked out a laugh.

“What, like she’s a sociopath or somethin’? Mom, Ah’ve looked through all sorts of medical textbooks; conditions like that don’t seem to exist in Equestria, outside of some of the monsters and villains Twilight and the others have butted heads with.”

“I think she might have something though, Bones,” Mum persisted. “I’ve been teaching kids twenty years and had Year 6s twice my size. But I’ve never felt scared of them. This Cozy, she makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.”

I frowned at that. As evolved as we like to think we are, as humans or ponies, we all still posses basic animal instincts for survival. And that includes ways to spot people who want to kill us and eat our faces and lower orders. It seemed daft as anything. But if Mum was really serious about this, then there was no harm in looking into it. I could get AJ in the know, and if she figured anything was off, we could bring in Headmare Twilight.  

“Okay,” I said, leaning back in my chair a little. “Let’s say you’re right, and this kid is a nut job. If Ah remember my ‘Criminal Minds’ correctly, there’s three key indicators; cruelty to animals, fire starting, and bed wetting beyond the age of four. You get those, you got the unholy trinity and a psychopath in the making. Or...”  

I got up from my chair in the kitchen and trotted through into the living room, where there was a decent sized bookcase containing books from back home. With just a twinge of embarrassment, I fished out an old copy of Catcher in the Rye, from when I was in high school. I levitated it over to Mum.

“Give this to her and see what she makes of it. Psychos tend to identify with Holden instead of seeing him as a jackass.” Mum smiled as she looked it over.

“Wasn’t this that book that got you into trouble back in high school?” I grimaced and felt a blush creep up my neck. “You remember, me and your Dad had to go to that meeting?”

“Yes, Mom,” I replied in an annoyed tone, trying to repress that particular memory again. “Can we not talk about that?” Mum however, continued.

“That was when you got sent to that head shrinker. She said that she thought that you might be a high functioning something or other.”

“High Functioning Sociopath,” I said defensively. “And Ah’m not, thank ya very much. And it weren’t because Ah identified with the character, just for readin’ the damn thing and checking it out of the library. That’s what you get when you go to high school in the middle of Wales!”

Mum simply giggled at my angry tirade against my previous education and its attitude to mental well-being. I did my best to regain some dignity and levitated over my hat from the nearby stand.  

“Look, just give me a holler if this Cozy filly shows any of them signs,” I said. I was about to go on, when something out of the window caught my eye.  

It looked like a fireball or something. A meteorite entering the atmosphere maybe. But it was the middle of the day, and the flames coming off it were still plain to see. More to the point, it seemed to getting closer and closer at a fantastic rate of speed.  

“What the hay is that?!” I exclaimed, pointing out of the kitchen window.  

Mum followed my outstretched hoof and soon clocked the giant lump of space rock that seemed to be hurtling towards us. And in typical fashion, she froze completely solid. At least she didn’t scream I suppose, she didn’t completely go into the stereotype.  

I ended up having to drag her out of the house, partly with my magic, and partly with my teeth, pulling at her sleeve. I was honestly pretty worried that, whatever it was, it was going to crash straight through the kitchen. The two of us got outside just as it passed overhead. Luckily, it missed the house for the most part, only knocking the weather vane off the roof.  

The close quarters also let me get a better look at just what it was. As it turned out, it was no meteorite at all. It was a dragon. It seemed to be an adult, although fairly small by their standards, and rather fat to boot. It seemed to have lost its ability to fly somewhat, and seemed to have somehow set its own scales alight with its fire breath, which was still streaming out of its mouth in a hot orange glow.  

We both watched in amazement as this poor example of a dragon careered along, just above Stirrup Street, before finally running out of speed and dropping like a stone. The impact was so strong that it actually cut up a swath of road as the dragon ploughed into the dirt. While more than a few ponies had to scramble for cover, nopony was hurt.  

“Well, there’s something you don’t see every day,” Mum commented as we both looked on.  

“Yeah,” I replied with a wry smile. “Last time anything fell out of the sky it was the giant snowball after the Weather Factory nearly blew up.”





After those minor calamities were over, Mum and me went back inside the house to finish our conversation. I was still fairly sure she was making a mountain out of a molehill, but I promised to talk to AJ about this Cozy Glow filly, and maybe Apple Bloom too. Kids after all tend to be more receptive to what we might call ‘bad vibes’.  

As I headed back towards the farm, my route took me past where that dragon had run, quite literally, into the ground. In aviation, I think they call it a CFIT incident, or controlled flight into terrain. The damage to the road was pretty substantial. The ugly gash along the road had to be at least fifteen feet long, and about three feet deep at the far end where the dragon had all but buried itself.  

Ponyville of course, being a bit of an out of the way town, would probably have to wait a while before a road gang could come out to properly mend the damage. In the meantime though, a few of the townsfolk were following the old British policy of make do and mend. Coming up on the crash site, I found Thunderlane, along with Big Mac, who had been at the market, and Time Turner all working away with shovels to try and fill in the hole. I had a few chores to do back on the farm, but it seemed a bit callous to simply pass by on the other side. So I stopped and lent a hoof.  

“Ah, thank you, Bones,” Time Turner said as I grabbed an extra shovel that was sitting nearby.  

“No worries, Doc,” I replied. “Ah saw some dragon crash land. What’s he doin’ here anyway?”

“Don’t know,” Time turner answered. “But young Spike has taken him back to Princess Twilight’s castle to get him patched up. I just hope he doesn’t start causing any trouble.”

“Ain’t that the truth,” Big Mac joined in. “Ah’ve only ever met two dragons that a pony can get along with, Spike and that Ember.”

“You met the dragon lord, Mac?” I asked, in no small surprise. I knew she’d stopped by to visit Spike along with Thorax a while back, but I didn’t realise that Mac had crossed paths with her.

“Eeyup,” he replied. “Was on the stall when she was in town. She came by to try some pony food, so I let her have a couple apples on the house. She seemed fairly nice for a dragon. Certainly better than that sleepin’ brute that damn near covered the town in smoke.”

God, that brought back memories.  

“Dragons are nothing but trouble,” Thunderlane said emphatically. “Everywhere they go they break, burn, and destroy things.” Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Mac’s face turn into a brief scowl. He and Spike were good friends after all from their Ogres and Oubliettes games.

“Ya wanna tar all dragons with the same brush, Thunderlane?” I asked. “As Ah recall, a dragon saved the Crystal Empire from King Sombra, and helped fight off those storm creatures in Canterlot.”

“Oh, you know I don’t mean Spike,” the weather patrol pony replied. “He’s not like other dragons. Heck he’s more like a pony.” Lizzie had told me Thunderlane could be an ass at times, and I was really struggling to avoid blasting him into the middle of last week.  

“Thunderlane,” Time Turner said, in a faux kind voice. “Bit of friendly advice; shut the buck up.”  

“What?” Thunderlane asked in confusion as the rest of us went back to shovelling.  

At least he didn’t mean to be a jackass I suppose. Spike is proud of his dragon heritage, and while he’s grown up around ponies, he still sees himself as a dragon. The only problem is, he doesn’t know that much about being a dragon. He’s learnt odds and ends, but like ponies, dragon culture and life is still quite a mystery to him, and often comes into conflict with his pony upbringing. Effectively, the young dragon is between two worlds, not quite fitting into either. I sometimes wonder that, as he grows up, particularly now that his wings have come in, he’ll one day have to make a choice between ponies and dragons.  

The other stallions and I kept hard at work doing our best to repair the damage this overweight dragon had done when he careened into town. It wouldn’t be a perfect job, but the hole was soon filled in. I suppose we should just thank our lucky stars that he didn’t also take out the water main that ran under the street.  

As we were finishing up our ad hoc repair to the road, Lily, one of the mares that sells flowers in the market, gave us a bit of information on who this dragon was. He’d been taken back to the castle, and was presently being tended to by Twilight and Spike. While Lily wasn’t sure, she was fairly certain that the dragon had damaged one of his wings pretty badly. That meant he wasn’t going anywhere any time soon.  

Still, there was little for me to do about that. It sounded like Spike and Twilight had the whole thing well in hoof. So, with the road more or less mended, we all went our separate ways. Mac went back to the stall, Thunderlane went back to his weather job, and Time Turner headed back to his store. As for me, I headed back to the farm. I’d been meaning to have a little tinker with the cider press. It had given us a bit of trouble this season just gone, so I wanted to see if it could simply be bodged, or if some proper repairs were needed.  





As it turned out, I ended up spending the rest of the afternoon repairing the belt on the cider press and replacing the differential. I’m just glad I’ve got the nous these days to do it. If you’d given me a job like this back on Earth, I’d be pretty much stumped. A couple years here though, and with some help from AJ, including occasionally borrowing a few of her tools, and I’ve got a decent working knowledge of how things work. If nothing else, I apply the classic engineering flow chart. If it moves and it shouldn’t, use duct tape. If it should move and doesn’t, apply WD 40. If you ask me, every guy ought to know that. You can do half of all household repairs with just some WD 40, a set of vise grips and a roll of duct tape.  

By early evening, I’d got the press back up and running again. I was just taking it for a quick test drive, trotting along on the treadmill, bringing it up to speed, when the doors to the barn opened and Applejack came in. I could see from the darkening sky that it was getting late; probably nearly dinner time.  

“Hey, Applejack,” I said, as I continued to build up my speed. I needed to be sure the press could cope with working at a full gallop. “How’s that dragon Twilight took in holdin’ up?”  

“He’s gonna be off his feet for a while, Ah reckon,” AJ replied.  

“Who is he anyway? And what brought him this far into Equestria?”  

“He’s called Sludge,” AJ said. I figured that his mother didn’t like him very much then. “An’ he just said he was passin’ through when he hurt his wing. Ah figure he was on his way back to the Dragon Lands.”

“So what, are Twilight and Spike lookin’ after him then?” I asked. Applejack nodded.

“Yeah, Twi gave him a room in the castle until he can get back on his feet. Spike certainly seems to have taken to him too.” I nodded in agreement.

“It’ll be good for him to have a dragon around to talk with for once.”  

I knew he was friends with Smoulder, one of the students at the School of Friendship, and of course, he’s quite close with Dragon Lord Ember too. But it would be nice for him to get some one on one time with a dragon, rather than just the odd meeting. It would give him a chance to learn more about his people, and maybe correct a few misconceptions idiots like that jackass Garble had thrown up.

Applejack headed back towards the open barn door. I promised to follow her in a few minutes once I’d washed off the oil and dirt I’d picked up from tinkering with the press’ inner mechanisms. At the door however, she stopped and added one more thing.

“Oh, and by the way, sugarcube. Mac told me what ya said to Thunderlane today. It was good of ya to stick up for Spike.”

“Thunderlane didn’t mean anythin’ nasty by it,” I replied as I scrubbed my face with a cloth. “Still, Ah wish some ponies would stop seein’ him as just ‘that dragon that lives with Princess Twilight’.”

I soon finished making myself presentable and put the press back together. Come next season, it would be raring to go. Heading inside, I joined the Apple family at the dinner table. The big topic of evening conversation was, of course, Sludge. Aside from my telling of how the dragon managed to crash into Ponyville, I didn’t have too much to contribute. AJ did most of the talking, telling us all about this odd, somewhat fat dragon. As she talked, I couldn’t help but frown slightly. While I could understand Sludge not being too active, owing to his injury, from the way Applejack told it, he seemed to settle into his new home remarkably fast; a little too easily if you ask me and all. I certainly didn’t care for the image of him stretching out on the map table for one thing. Still, Spike seemed to like him, and there always tends to be a bit of a culture clash when dragons and ponies meet. I figured that I'd just wait and see what happened over the next few days as Sludge healed up.  





It was some time before Sludge was even close to being fully recovered. With a damaged wing and a broken arm, he was laid up in bed for quite some time. Eventually though, with help from Twilight, and the others, including AJ, the somewhat fat dragon was ready to take to the skies again.  He'd also bonded with Spike pretty well, with the two dragons becoming good friends. However, as the time drew near for him to leave, Sludge dropped a bombshell.  

I was in the kitchen helping Granny Smith fix supper when Applejack returned with the news. I’d just sat down at the table for a moment when my marefriend came bursting through the door.  

“Bones! Granny!” she exclaimed. “Y’all are never gonna guess what just happened down at Twilight’s castle!” Myself and the apple matriarch were caught off guard by her sudden arrival; we both all but jumped out of our skin. I was actually quite worried something serious had happened.  

“What is it, ‘Jack?” I asked worriedly. “Is it somethin’ to do with Spike or Sludge?” Applejack nodded.

“It sure is,” Applejack replied as I sipped on my cup of coffee. “Sludge says he’s Spike’s dad!”

With that, half of my coffee went spewing out of my mouth, and the other went straight up my nose, inducing a rather painful coughing fit as coffee went where it wasn’t supposed to. Granny Smith glared at the stains that now covered a good third of the table cloth. Eventually, I got my coughing and spluttering under control enough to voice the obvious question.

“He’s what?!” I exclaimed.  

Spike’s origins had always been something of a mystery, both to Twilight and all the fans of the show. All we knew was that he was an orphan, with his egg having been brought to Celestia’s school for gifted unicorns, where Twilight, as part of her entrance exam, managed to hatch it and then some. But I knew nothing about his parents, or even where his egg came from.

To be brutally honest though, I couldn’t help but feel a little disheartened on Spike’s behalf. He may have his faults, but he was a good and noble dragon. Sludge on the other hoof, based on my encounter with him when I went over to Twilight’s to borrow some books from her, was a fat, lazy slob of a dragon. Aside from some similarities in the colour of their scales, I could see little to suggest a paternal relation. Still, while I had hoped for something more, according to Applejack, Spike was thrilled to be reunited with his father.

To further prove his bona fides, Sludge also told Spike the story of his mother. According to him, she had been tasked by the then-Dragon Lord Torch to scout the next migration route; a task that would keep her away from the Dragon Lands for a few years. When she didn’t return, Sludge went to search for her.

This is where I first began to suspect something was amiss. Sludge said she ended up in the territory of Scale Collectors; a group of dragon hunters that lived on a group of islands floating in the sky. That, I can assure you, is a load of horseapples. While I’m no expert of dragons, I do know my geography, particularly with the lands south of Equestria now better charted. There is no such place or people.  

So, I suspected that Sludge was playing both Spike and Twilight for fools. After all, he had landed on his feet after his accident, and being Spike’s father would all but guarantee him permanent residence in the castle. But I knew that I couldn’t just come out and say that, especially not to Spike.  If I was right, the deception would break his heart, so I would only accuse when I had irrefutable proof. Actually, I was quite surprised that Sludge’s tale didn’t set off AJ’s own lie detector.

For now, I would keep quiet and gather a bit more evidence.  





As it turned out, further evidence was not something I needed. While I was still digging away and considering the possibility of reaching out to Dragon Lord Ember herself through my dad, the entire situation came to a head. AJ recounted the whole story to me after the fact.

At first, it was a case of Spike supposedly learning how to be a proper dragon. Curiously, this involved him giving everything soft or fluffy in the castle to Sludge to kip on, as well as providing him with quite the supply of gems to feast on. It was here that Twilight too began to suspect that something was amiss. But when she tried to confront Spike about it, he accused her of being jealous  and rather callously reminded her that she wasn’t really his parent. That alone was enough to break the poor mare’s heart.  

With that falling out between them, Spike declared that he and Sludge would move out to a cave somewhere to live like proper dragons. And here’s where Sludge’s plan to live on Easy Street came unstuck. He’d told Spike that dragons loved living in uncomfortable conditions and with Smoulder’s help, Spike had found perhaps the least comfortable cave this side of the Crystal Empire. The imminent loss of his newfound comfort was enough for Sludge to finally come clean. He admitted to Spike that he’d made the whole thing up; he wasn’t his father, and he hadn’t the faintest idea what had become of his mother.  

Needless to say, the poor drake was heartbroken by the callous deception. Sludge even had the balls to suggest that he was only doing what a good dragon would do. I found myself almost literally shaking with rage as AJ recounted the story to me.  

“Where the hay is Sludge now?” I asked, doing my best to keep from shouting at her.  

“That no good sidewinder flew off,” Applejack replied. “I guess he’s headin’ back to the Dragon Lands. Ah’m just glad he’s gone.” I took a breath to try and control my temper.  

“How’s Spike holdin’ up?” At that AJ smiled.  

“Not too bad all things considered. He and Twi made up afterwards. Smoulder’s been helpin’ to make him feel better too.”

That was good at least. As cold hearted as what Sludge had done was, at least Spike was more or less okay. Still, my mind was whirring away. At the moment, Morning Star’s voice was going through my mind, mainly demanding violet retribution against Sludge. It was hard not to agree with him.  

“What’s Twilight gonna do about Sludge though?” I pressed Applejack. AJ shrugged.  

“She figured that as long as he stayed far away from Spike, that was good enough.”

Oh hell no! Ponies at times, can be far too forgiving. What Sludge had done was tantamount to emotional abuse, never mind blatant fraud by false representation. He ought to face some sort of punishment. My thoughts turned to Dad. As Celestia’s legal advisor, he’d have some idea what could be done about all this, legally of course, and he possibly pull a few strings.  

And so, a plan formed in my mind. That afternoon, after having cleared out a sizeable portion of the west orchard, which also helped to cool my anger, I set off once again for my parents' house. It had been about three weeks since I’d originally gone to see Mum on that day that Sludge crashed into town. Today was Sunday, so Dad would be home as well. I figured I could go and see him and see if there were any legal options. I wasn’t asking for Sludge to go on trial and spend time inside. I just thought that Spike deserved some restitution, if not retribution.  





It was a fairly short trip from the farm, into Ponyville, and to my parents front door. I was lucky enough that it was Dad who answered the door. Like pretty much everypony else in town, he’d heard about Sludge’s arrival. News of his sudden, hurried departure meanwhile, had reached him while he was still in Canterlot.  

“Oh, you should have seen it, Bones,” he was saying as he invited me in and the two of us walked through the hallway. “I can count on the fingers of one hand the times I’ve seen Celestia that pissed off. She just went quiet and asked everypony to leave the throne room for a few moments.”

“Makes sense,” I replied with a nod as we made our way into the living room. “She’s known Spike as long as Twilight. He’s just as much her adoptive son as Twilight’s her daughter. So, is there anything you can do against Sludge?” Dad however, was already ahead of me.

“I’ve already got something in the works, Bones,” he explained. “Like I said, Celestia was absolutely furious about what had happened. She sent a message to the Dragon Lord demanding, and I do mean demanding, a meeting. Apparently, she wants to haul Sludge back across the border and extradite him to Equestria.”

That was a touch excessive, I thought to myself. Princess Celestia was typically a paragon of patience and level headedness. It was strange, although quite understandable, to hear that she’d been so affected by events.  

“What does she want to do?” I asked curiously. “Ya can’t put a dragon on trial for just lying and being an asshole.”

“No, but you can do him for fraud by false representation,” Dad replied. “And the princess isn’t trying to charge him as a criminal, she’s served civil papers on him. According to the writ from the court, Sludge now owes Spike 15,780 bits in compensation and court costs for misrepresenting himself to him. And since he’s got no assets to seize over here, or in the Dragon Lands and so no way to pay it, Celestia’s offered a deal for him to pay off his debt by working in the castle.”

Ah, now that sounded like the Celestia I was familiar with. There was a consequence for his actions, but it was proportionate and reasonable. And it was just enough humiliation to make sure he wouldn’t do it again, without going over the line and being cruel.  

“So that’s what she’s going to tell Dragon Lord Ember?” I asked. Dad nodded.

“Pretty much,” he said. “From what I understand, the dragons ought to take a pretty dim view of this bugger as well. They may be a little different from ponies here and there, but they don’t much care for lying, Bones. And of course, you’ve got to remember that little Spike is good friends with Ember herself. I wouldn’t be surprised if she wasn’t as cheesed off as Celestia.”

I thought for a moment, considering that fact. Dad was right, and more to the point, Ember probably wouldn’t be quite as merciful as Celestia was. I wouldn’t be surprised if Sludge came running back over the border as soon as the extradition request was sent out. He’d rather take his chances with the benevolent pony princess than his own very angry kin.  

“Well, it’s good to see that that no good sidewinder is gonna get his,” I said with pleased expression.  “Ah hate to see Spike taken advantage of like that.” Dad now, strangely, let out a laugh.

“Bones, I think you forget just how many friends Spike has,” he replied. "In addition to Celestia, Luna’s pretty mad too, as is Cadance and the entire Crystal Empire. Then there’s Ember, and of course old Thorax up in the Changeling Kingdom. And let’s not forget his friends that all meet up for his O&O games.” That raised a concerning point. 

“How...how did Discord take this anyhow?” I asked with no small amount of concern. If anypony was to fly off the handle on hearing of what happened to Spike, it would be him. Dad grimaced for a moment.

“Oh, you wouldn’t believe it, Bones,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand. “All I’ll say is I hope some other creature finds Sludge first. He heard what had happened, as he always seems to, and he was baying for the dragon’s blood. Literally too; the idiot turned himself into a foxhound and ran, baying, down the mountain and off toward the Dragon Lands.”

“Jesus, didn’t you try to stop him or something? Y’all know what Discord can be like. For pony’s sake he almost threw Treehugger into a dimensional portal just because he got a mite jealous. Celestia know what he’ll do to somecreature that hurt his friend.”

“I warned Fluttershy about it as soon as I could. She’s the only one who can really get him under control.”

“Come on, Dad. You’re his best friend!” I persisted.

“Alright, I’ll try something,” he said. With that, he stepped out of the house and shouted up at the sky. “Discord!”

A moment later, the draconequus appeared in the usual flash and pop of a teleport. He was dressed in a safari outfit, with a Stanley helmet on, complete with a nasty looking Blunderbuss. He didn’t look too happy at the moment, evidently, he was still hunting down his quarry. But at least I knew his anger was directed toward somepony else. Still, Dad was right, I’d not seen him that mad in a long time; not since the gala. I guess at least this is a step up from that. He now only flies into homicidal rages to protect his friends, rather than when he doesn’t get his way.

“Roger!” Discord said, a false smile appearing on his face. He then turned to me. “And Bones too. I hate to do this to you, but I’m in a bit of a rush right now. Is there any chance I can stop by later?”

“I just wanted to ask you about Sludge, Discord,” Dad replied. The draconequus’ face darkened.  

“Oh? What about him?”

“Have you found him yet?” Discord now smiled again.

"As a matter of fact, yes I have,” he replied. “And actually, you could lend me a hand if I could borrow some of your things.” Snapping his talons, he magicked up a list and a pair of reading glasses.

“Let’s see. I need a chair, a few rolls of duct tape, a stereo player, a copy of a Stealers Wheels ‘Stuck in the Middle with You’ single, a straight razor, a jerry can of petrol, a cigarette lighter, and some place where nopony will be bothered by incessant screaming, or small fires.”   

“Discord, no!” Dad said sharply. “Removing ears is not going to solve anything. And I’m not having you end up in the dock charged with Equestria’s first ever murder. Tia’s going to handle this. Trust me, Sludge will get his soon enough.”

“Really?” Discord asked. “She’s actually going to punish him, or is she just going to give him a slap on the wrist like that unstable unicorn that hangs around Twilight?”

“She’s actually going to punish him,” Dad reassured.  

“Besides, what will beatin’ the tar out of Sludge do anyway?” I asked. “It ain’t gonna undo what he did to Spike.” Discord pondered that, and sensing that I was winning him over, I continued. “Spike said it himself; even if he never finds his real parents, he’s got loads of ponies, and all sorts of other creatures, that love him just as much.”

After mulling that over a moment longer, Discord snapped his talons again. And much to our relief he appeared minus his previous garb and list of torture items. He agreed to leave things alone for the moment, with the promise that, while Sludge was paying off his debt, he could, within reason, torment him to his heart’s content. That was more than enough for Discord, and he happily popped off to Fluttershy’s to spend some time with her.  

I too took my leave. The issue of Sludge was settled, Spike was feeling a lot better now that his many adopted family members had rallied around him, and Discord had been stopped from ripping the slimy dragon limb from limb. I couldn’t help but feel some pride at my own actions. I’d felt the desire for revenge, but had been able to set it to one side. Hopefully that means I’ve turned a corner on that front.  

Unbeknownst to me however, my stance on revenge was about to be challenged due to the actions of a very unusual and unexpected foe.
> Chapter 26 - We Need to Talk About Cozy
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I found myself sitting at the dining table in my parents’ house. The four of us had decided to have a little get together, to catch up and take stock of what had happened over the last few days. It had certainly been a strange week.  

Since coming to Equestria, I’ve lived through Tirek’s escape from Tartarus, a time travel incident that created multiple parallel universes and paradoxes, a second changeling incursion, the return of the Pillars of Old Equestria, and even a hostile invasion by a mentally unhinged warlord. Each one of them was a major event. But to one extent or another, I saw it coming. Or at least, when it happened, it wasn’t quite as perplexing as what had happened this week. Without a shadow of a doubt, the latest villain to try and destroy Equestria as we know it was the most left field I’d ever encountered.  

I suppose I ought to give some context, and for that, we need to go back a few weeks. Remember what my mum said about this student at Twilight’s school; Cozy Glow? She thought there was something seriously off with her. At the time, I’d been a bit skeptical, but had agreed to tell Applejack about her concerns. I figured this would be just a minor incident, certainly not the near catastrophe it blew up into. To be fair though, the little demon was harder to spot that a changeling infiltrator. Anyway, I’d gone back to the farm and chatted with Applejack about it.  

“So Mom’s kinda worried that there may be something seriously wrong with this filly,” I was saying to AJ as the two of us lounged outside in the pleasant, warm evening. We were relaxing out by the barn, with Winona curled up between us. Applejack stretched and thought for a moment.  

“Ah’ve had Cozy Glow for a few lessons,” she said with a nod. “The filly’s pretty smart for a pony her age. But she ain’t exactly the best when it comes to graspin’ the concept of friendship.”

“How so?” I asked. Applejack frowned and brought up a few examples.  

“Well, one time, when Ah was teachin’ a lesson ‘bout tellin’ the truth in a bad situation, Cozy just didn’t seem to get where Ah was comin’ from. She asked me why she couldn’t just lie to keep everypony else happy. And when Ah tried to explain to her how the truth always comes out in the end, she said ya could just spin another lie. She just didn’t seem to see how it was wrong.”

“Anythin’ else?” I asked.  

“Sure, AB had a run in with her a few weeks back,” Applejack went on. “She and the Crusaders did their best to help her study for one of Twilight’s pop quizzes. She certainly had some strange ideas ‘bout harmony. Like when they asked her what the symbol for the Element of Magic was, she thought it meant control.”

I’ll admit, that got the hairs on the back of my neck to stand up. The apparent lack of empathy and the desire to control others were not normal behaviours for a filly. Even Diamond Tiara on her worst days wasn’t that bad.  

“So, are she and AB friends then?” I asked, probing further. AJ scratched the back of her neck with a hind hoof, in a very dog like fashion.  

“Well, sort of,” she replied. “The filly ain’t bad, she just seems not to get a few things. But she ain’t stupid neither; just wired a little different Ah guess. Actually, ya should be able to meet her yourself, Bones. Ah think AB’s havin’ her come to visit the Crusader clubhouse this weekend.” I mused and nodded.

“Maybe Ah’ll go talk to her then, AJ. Just to put my mom’s mind at rest if nothin’ else.”





Checking with Apple Bloom, I found out that she and the other Crusaders had become sort of friends with Cozy. They’d done their best to help her with her friendship lessons and, according to Apple Bloom, she had a better handle on things now. Still, a few things that Apple Bloom said threw up red flags for me. While ordinarily, a lot of Cozy’s behaviour would be written off as kids just being a little off, from what Apple Bloom told me, Cozy could actually be quite manipulative. And based on what she told me, the filly clearly knew what she was doing.  

Despite this though, the filly didn’t have much trouble making friends at the school. In fact, Twilight had recently taken her on as something of an assistant to help with the day to day running of her office. Nothing serious of course, at least not back then; Twilight’s big mistake came a little later on, but the sickly sweet filly had clearly done a good job ingratiating herself toward her teachers. Even Applejack, who can spot ponies to watch out for a mile off, only had the vaguest inkling that something was amiss with her.

To try and get a better understanding, and to see if there really was anything that I needed to bring to Twilight’s attention (I wasn’t about to declare a filly a sociopath until I was positive), I decided to spend some time with Apple Bloom and the other Crusaders, and stick around when Cozy came to visit them in their clubhouse. If nothing else, it would be a chance to spend some time with Apple Bloom and her friends. I get on pretty well with Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, the latter having taken all of my Rainbow Dash merch after it came through the rift and adding it to her totally not creepy Rainbow Dash fan club shrine. And of course, they’d helped me out with understanding my cutie mark not long after their own appeared and they first opened their little consulting agency.  

Heading onto one of the quietest parts of the farm, I soon found my way to their clubhouse. Originally built when Applejack was a filly, presumably by Bright Mac, the Crusaders had renovated it into their headquarters. And after they all got their cutie marks, they turned it into an office for their new role in helping ponies find and understand their cutie mark.  

I found the three of them sitting on the grass outside, chatting together, along with Cozy Glow. This was the first time our paths crossed.  

My first thought, honestly, was that she looked like something from one of those creepy 1950’s musicals. Her mane was done up in curly locks, complete with bows, and her face had dimples on it. While it should have looked adorable, there was something, as Mum had said, that just put me off. One thing that leapt out at me right away was her cutie mark. It was a rook, a chess piece, sometimes called a castle. The meaning, considering all that happened afterwards, was obvious. The little bitch was quite the chess master; manipulative and sneaky.

“Hey there, Cutie Mark Crusaders,” I called out as I walked up. All three of the fillies bounded over to me to say hello, while Cozy herself hung back. I got the impression that she was sizing me up.  

Our eyes locked for a few moments, each one studying the other. I wasn’t quite sure what to make of her at first. Based on what Mum had told me, I was expecting shark eyes, with no emotion. But Cozy actually seemed to have quite a friendly expression. After a moment or two, she joined the Crusaders and trotted over to me.  

“Hey, Bones,” Apple Bloom said, briefly hugging me around the barrel. “What brings y’all here?”

“Yeah, do you need more help with your cutie mark?” Sweetie Belle added.  

“Or help with one of your magic experiments?” Scootaloo chimed in. I smiled and shook my head.

“No, nothin’ like that, you three,” I replied. “Ah just heard from Applejack that y’all had made a new friend.” I turned to Cozy. “Ah take it y’all are Cozy Glow?” The little filly nodded.

“Yes, I’m Cozy Glow,” she replied. “I’m taking a few of Professor Applejack’s courses at the School of Friendship.”

“Well, pleasure to meet ya, Cozy Glow,” I replied, extending a hoof to her. “Ah’m Blade Star, but my friends call me Bones.” The little filly shook my hoof.

“Nice to meet you, Blade Star,” she replied. Well, she was polite enough, most ponies would call me Bones after that exchange.

“So how did you meet these three honourary graduates of the School of Friendship?” I asked, referring to the degrees the Crusaders had been given by Twilight when they tried to apply to the school themselves.

That’s a point. How had Cozy gotten into the school in the first place? Shouldn’t she still be in elementary school?

“They helped me with some of my studies,” Cozy explained. “I’ve come a long way thanks to their help. Headmare Twilight even has me help out with some of the school’s activities. It’s such an honour to be attending Equestria’s first ever friendship school.”  

Sweet Celestia, even her voice was cutesy and off putting. But being overly sweet didn’t equal psychopathy. So far, I hadn’t seen anything to really indicate something was amiss. And Apple Bloom is very much an old head on young shoulders; she’s quite selective about her friends. I decided to spend a bit of time with the four of them, and gather a bit more data on this filly.  

“So what have y’all been up to then?” I asked curiously. Sweetie Belle explained.  

“We’ve just been helping Cozy prepare for her exam next week.”

“Oh, what’s that on, then?” I asked.  

“Generosity,” Cozy replied. “But I’m having a bit of trouble getting it all right. It’s a really hard subject.”  

Ah, here was a chance! Psychopaths can’t understand generosity; they can’t understand friendship full stop. As they operate purely on self-interest, it makes no sense to them to be generous, unless it’s in their interests, which of course, isn’t true generosity. I watched as the three Crusaders went through some notes with Cozy. The three fillies could probably apply to be teachers themselves if it didn’t conflict with Equestria’s labour laws. While the filly seemed to grasp the idea, she seemed to struggle in applying it.  

The evidence was mounting a little now. I decided to do a little practical test. In addition to any of the elements of friendship, psychopaths can’t feel empathy. They can’t put themselves in someone else’s shoes. Actually, if I remember rightly, they don’t think others feel emotions the same way they do. So, I got up from my spot on the grass and went to go inside the clubhouse for a moment.  

“Hang on, you four,” I said. “Ah think there’s somethin’ in your clubhouse that might help us.”

The clubhouse is accessed by a small ramp, sort of like a chicken coop. I’ll hold off on the obvious Scootaloo joke there. It had rained not long ago, so the steps were still a little wet. It was quite easy, even with hooves, to slip and loose your footing. So that’s what I did.  

I made it look real enough, it certainly hurt enough. My left foreleg slipped on the damp wood and fell forward onto my chest with a crash. I let out a fairly real, although slightly exaggerated, cry of pain.

“Ah, dammit!” I exclaimed crossly as I got back to my hooves.  

Instantly, all of the Crusaders had come running over, their studies forgotten to check that I wasn’t hurt. I reassured them that I was fine, and let AB take a quick look at my leg. Cozy Glow was there too, but I’d seen all I needed to see.  

When someone cries out in pain, particularly a friend or family member, we are naturally concerned and try to help stop that pain. It’s virtually instinctive. Even if we don’t run over, we still check and look, if only for a moment. We don’t want to feel pain and don’t want others to feel it either, due to empathy; we know how much it can hurt and can imagine what it feels like for somepony else.  

It was only a few seconds before Cozy reacted, but there had been a definite delay. She was reacting to the Crusaders reaction, not me being in pain. She only joined them to mimic the correct reaction. When I’d cried out, she hadn’t even looked up from her work. That was pretty damning evidence. It also told me that she knew that she needed to hide her true nature, so she was a smart little filly too. I think the correct term is closet psychopath.  

I figured she’d probably grow up to run a successful banking firm.  





As it turned out however, while my assessment of her mental state had been mostly correct, my prediction about her future career prospects, or lack thereof, was dead wrong. Most psychopaths you see, don’t grow up to be Hannibal Lector. They often do well in business, where their lack of empathy allows them to be cut throat and get ahead of any competition. It’s only a minority that end up resorting to criminal enterprises, and even then it’s mostly males. Actually, there isn’t that much research out there on the female psychopath.  

Cozy Glow though, was going to buck the trend and would soon find herself behind bars indefinitely. And unbeknownst to me, her twisted little scheme was already in motion when our paths crossed.  

It all started one seemingly normal afternoon. I’d woken up that day with a minor headache. It wasn’t anything major, but it was enough to be noticeable and affect me. After breakfast, I’d gone upstairs to the bathroom and grabbed some paracetamol from the medicine cabinet. Now I’m not prone to headaches or migraines, I was well hydrated and had had a good night’s sleep the night before. So, I was a little surprised when the meds had no effect. And I was even more perplexed when the headache actually began to get worse.  

I pushed through lunch, with my head still pounding. It was getting to the point that my head felt like it was filled with razor blades and being constantly shaken about. I figured if it got any worse, or if my vision started to blur, I’d have to go to the hospital, because this was no ordinary headache.  

Well, for one thing, it wasn’t a headache. What I was experiencing, was a very low level, invasive magic energy drain. In other words, my magic was being extracted from me, very slowly. This wasn’t like Tirek’s escape, when it all got sucked out in one fell swoop, this was more like a leaking tap, with no way to shut it off.  

Of course, I didn’t realise what was happening until it was almost too late.  

I was out in the orchards with Applejack. She hadn’t felt anything herself. Had she done so, I might have suspected something was wrong. As I later learned, it was only unicorn and alicorn magic that was being removed. We were busy working our way through the orchards, side by side. As I bucked away at a tree, with my head still pounding, a couple of apples missed the mark, bounced off of the bucket meant to catch them, and landed on the soft ground.  

Sighing to myself and still pushing through my headache that was now certainly a migraine, I activated my magic to pick it up. And that was when the world decided to slip out from under me.  

The apple levitated a few inches, and then, my magic fizzled for a moment, before just cutting out. The apple, along with my stomach, dropped to the floor with a thud.  

Now slightly alarmed, I tried again. But no matter what, I couldn’t get a levitation spell to work. My horn briefly sparked, but nothing else, and after a few tries, even that stopped working. I broke out into a cold sweat from the fear.  

“Oh, by the moon,” I whispered to myself. Applejack saw that something was amiss and came over.

“Bones?” she asked. “Y’all alright, sugarcube?” Doing my best not to scream and control my breathing, I turned to AJ. I could tell be her reaction that I didn’t look too good.  

“My magic’s actin up, ‘Jack,” I said. “Ah can’t even cast levitation.” AJ went white as a sheet. “Get over to Twilight’s. There’s only one son of a bitch Ah know that can do that.”

“Tirek?” Applejack asked. I nodded.  

“It’s not affecting you yet. It starts with unicorns and works its way up the food chain. Get to Twilight at the school, and alert the others. Check any other unicorns ya meet. Go!”

Applejack took off in a headlong gallop towards town, leaving me on my own. The only upside was that my headache had now finally begun to ease.

I too headed off; back to the farmhouse. I had me a trump card for this situation. Not a fix if magic was being drained remotely. But it would buy me some time. The only upside was that my cutie mark was still there. My active magic was gone, but there was still something left for the moment.

Now a little more steady on my feet, I made my way back to the house. Apple Bloom was at school and Mac was at the market. Only Granny Smith was about, and luckily stayed asleep in her rocking chair as I crashed through the kitchen door and headed upstairs.  

Bursting into my room, still in a cold sweat, I began to rifle through my desk, searching for the thing I needed. I spotted a glint under a few papers and quickly cast them aside. It was hard to do with something so imprecise as hooves; I expect it looked like burglars had gone through my desk. But I managed to find what I was looking for; my grandfather’s Defence Medal, now imbued with some of my reserves. It still sparkled and shimmered with the magic stored within. Artifacts obviously had some latent resistance to any kind of draining spell. We’d seen that last time with the Elements.  

Digging out my confederate jacket, I pinned on the old medal and felt a brief spark of magic return to me. I breathed a sigh of relief that there was still something there. Now, if my own magic was being drained. I needed to get as much of my own magic as I could into the medal. Effectively, I’d be draining myself. But the more magic in the medal artifact, the more time I’d have to use magic to fight.  

“You want my magic, Tirek, you old bastard?” I asked the empty room. “Well, ya can have it, when ya pry it from my cold, dead hooves!”

With that, I set to work. It hurt like all hell. But it worked.  





Applejack obviously had to leave not long after. Twilight, Rarity, Starlight, and every other unicorn in Equestria, along with the princesses, were seeing the effects of this remote magic drain. Normal unicorns were pretty much out of magic as it was. The six of them headed up to Canterlot to consult with the princesses, but from what AJ told me, they all already suspected that Tirek was making a play of some sort.  

So, leaving Starlight to keep an eye on the school, they all headed for Tartarus, via Canterlot to confirm Tirek was still in his cage.  

The next three days were strange to say the least. AJ wired me from Canterlot informing me of what Starswirl had told the princesses. According to him, we had three days before the magic we needed for survival was gone for good. The last thing to go would be magical artifacts. So, I rationed what I had been able to save carefully, effectively becoming an earth pony for a few days.  

It wasn’t like when I’d had my magic taken before. I was barely conscious as a result of that. This was more like...an awareness that something was missing, like having an arm amputated. As a unicorn, I used my magic for all sorts, everything from making a cup of coffee to complex spells. And now I had barely any magic left.  

I also heard mutterings about the school when I ran the market stall. Despite what was going on, everyday life, for the moment at least, kept on going. Big Mac compared it to the tense three days of the Storm King’s invasion. The sun didn’t move for three days, and nopony knew what was going on in Canterlot. But the storm creatures didn’t go beyond the borders of the occupied city. The rest of Equestria, while thrown into a state of panic, was fairly unaffected.  

Unlike then, the sun and moon did continue to move, albeit I could tell that the princesses were having a hard time doing it. Their innate magic would hold out that much longer, but soon enough, it too would give out.  

The other news was Starlight. She’d pretty much shut herself up in the school, and I heard talk that that asshole Neighsay was skulking about. I didn’t learn until later, that almost as soon as the girls left, Starlight went MIA, only to be replaced by Neighsay, who like the idiot he was, locked up the non-pony students, thinking them responsible for magic disappearing.   

Now I, and everypony else, was sure Tirek was to blame. Twilight and the others would go to Tartarus, undo whatever he was doing and get the magic back. As it turned out though, the red centaur, was more of a red herring. You see, despite his previous issues working with others, he’d managed to find an apprentice during his incarceration; none other than Cozy Glow.

That little screwed up psycho decided that the magic of friendship could be used to control. Luckily, being nine years old, her plan was far from foolproof. She planned to send all of the magic of Equestria into the Void, where it would be lost forever. And then she would somehow crown herself empress.

Yeah, magic drain or no, that was never gonna fly. Tirek’s plan in contrast was to trap Twilight and the others in Tartarus. With no magic, they had no means to open the doors to get out. But his plan, though cunning also came unstuck, as he forgot to account for dear Pinkie Pie. She gave him the old line of ‘I’m not locked in here with you, you’re locked in here with me’. That was more than enough to get Tirek to give up on his revenge strategy. Unfortunately, they only got out at the end of the third day; the loss of all magic was imminent.  

But, we had a backup plan, or rather, the Tree of Harmony did. Starlight had been caught by surprise by Cozy and trapped beneath the school, where Cozy had actually managed to open a rift with Tirek’s help. The other non-pony students however, had been able to break free of their own confinement, and were able to prove to Neighsay that Cozy was to blame.  

To his credit, the fool then did come to his sense. Using the last reserves of magic stored in his EEA medallion, he alerted the princesses, who travelled to Ponyville the old fashioned way, along with half the Royal Guard. The Tree of Harmony intervened, and helped to disrupt the draining spell at the last moment. Magic was returned to everypony and Cozy was promptly arrested.

So, after three days of living as an earth pony, I and every other unicorn had their magic back, and things quickly returned to normal. There was just one small problem, and that was Cozy Glow.  

The little filly had shown her true colours and quite clearly had more than a couple screws loose. She fitted the profile of a psychopath down to a T. All those little mistakes she’d supposedly learned from were just fake outs. There was no way she could be reformed. So what the hay do you do with a nine year old child, who has committed a serious crime against ponydom, and who can’t be reformed? That was the question on everypony’s mind as me, my parents and Lizzie sat around the table, eating Sunday lunch. 





“Tartarus?!” I exclaimed in amazement. “Ya can’t be serious!”

The four of us were sitting around the dinner table at my parents house, with Lizzie and I each perched on a dining chair. Mum had done the usual roast dinner, pork in this case, for her and Dad, and then done a vegetarian version for the two of us. I was sitting across from Dad, who’d just told us all what would become of Cozy Glow.  

“I’m serious, lad,” he replied earnestly. “The sentence got handed down this morning. Cozy Glow is to be taken from the court and remanded in custody at the diarchy’s pleasure in Tartarus, where she shall remain for the rest of her natural life.”

“She’s a child though!” I argued.  

“We had young offenders back home didn’t we?” Dad argued.  

“She’s not even ten; that’s below the age of criminal responsibility.” Dad shook his head.

“A headshrinker talked with her beforehand. She understood that what she was doing was wrong and illegal.”

“Wouldn’t the shrinks also have told you she’s psychotic? She might understand right and wrong, but she’s certifiably nuts. She should be in an institution, not Tartarus.”

“You must have heard from Applejack and Twilight how she ‘learned’ from her previous mistakes. We put her in the loony bin, she magically gets cured six months in and then gets let out to do Celestia knows what.”

“You could argue she’s a victim too though,” Mum joined in, pausing in her own meal. “Tirek manipulated her into helping him with the promise of power.”

“Please,” Dad replied, waving a fork in the air dismissively. “Tirek’s plan was scorched earth. I went down there to talk with him myself. He knew that even if Cozy succeeded, there was no way he was ever getting out.” Lizzie then jumped in.

“Hey, Dad,” she said. “What did you do to your hand? Your knuckles are all cut up.”

I glanced over and saw that she was right. The knuckles of his right hand were all bruised, with small cuts and redness on the skin. He took a look at the injury for a moment before answering.

“Oh, I accidentally closed a drawer in my office on it. Nothing for you to worry about, sweetie.”

You’d think as a lawyer, he’d know how to lie a little better. Still, no point kicking up a fuss, and I have no problem with Tirek having his face rearranged. Maybe he’d finally learn that stealing magic was wrong. 

“So how bad is the fallout in court then?” I asked. "Ah figure there’s plenty of ponies who won’t be happy that a little filly’s goin’ to jail.” 

Setting down his utensils, Dad took a breath and paused for a moment before looking across the table at me.  

“Do you remember the Bulger case from back home, Bones?” he asked curiously. The name was familiar to me, as it was to most people. You don’t easily forget one of the most horrifying crimes of modern times. So I nodded.  

“Two ten year old lads led little Jamie Bulger away from his mum when they were at a shopping centre in Bootle. The police found his body, horribly mutilated two and a half miles away a couple days later, down by a river.” Mum now interjected.

“Roger, we’re trying to have lunch here,” she said, but Dad ignored her.

“They’d thrown paint in his eyes, kicked and stamped on his head, thrown bricks and stones at him, and even put batteries into his mouth and rear end, before dropping a 22 pound railway fishplate on his head. You show me a single mother in the land that wasn’t begging the judge to give them both the rope. In the end, they both got sent down until they were eighteen, and they both now live with new identities on life licence. Both of those things were for their own safety. You sent those kids home, they’d be dead in a week. I’m sure there’s plenty of people today that would like to see them rot.”

“So we’re throwing Cozy in jail to stop her being murdered? C’mon Dad, ponies aren’t like that. We forgave a mare who turned the princesses to stone, another that nearly destroyed Equestria and all time and space, and even your mentally deranged best friend. Why is Cozy any different?”

“Simple,” Dad replied. “She won’t reform, not can’t, won’t. Tempest, Starlight, Discord, Luna; they all saw the error of their ways. Cozy doesn’t. The only thing we can do is lock her up.” The mention of my friend and mentor got my hackles up, but he had a point.  

“Why Tartarus though?” Mum asked. “Why not some dungeon, or special school? She’s nuts, not a monster.”

“It’s the most secure prison in Equestria,” Dad replied. “She's still fully intent on her ridiculous plan to rule Equestria. It may be a delusion, but that doesn’t stop her from being dangerous.”

“It makes you think though,” Mum said, speaking as a teacher. “How she got like that in the first place. I mean, how does a nine year old filly come to such a warped world view. From what I understand, she thought that way even before she got in touch with Tirek. This whole thing was the result of a long build up somepony ought to have clocked a lot sooner.”  

“Now that, we can agree on,” Dad said with a nod. “I do in a way feel sorry for the filly. Something made her that way. And I intend to find out what. I’m heading down to speak with her parents tomorrow. If nothing else I need to prepare them for the media shitshow that’s coming their way.”

“Roger, language!” Mum barked.  

“Sorry, dear,” he said apologetically, going back to his lunch.  

After that, our conversation turned to somewhat safer territory. I was still surprised by the idea of Cozy being sent down to Tartarus. But on the other hoof, I could see Dad’s point of view. Prison, even back on Earth, was meant to reform at the end of the day. If a prisoner would not or could not reform, what did you do with them. The only options were to lock them away or kill them. You saw the same problem with violent sexual offenders, paedophiles, and the like. They couldn’t change what they were, and would always remain a threat to society.

If memory serves, the two kids convicted of killing Jamie Bulger were let out when they were eighteen. On the one hoof, one of them, living under a new identity, had completely reformed and could very well be just another stranger on the street. The other was a classic product of the system, repeatedly in and out of prison for possession of indecent images, as well as blowing his various identities. He’d not reoffended as seriously as before, but he was still a threat.  

In contrast to Great Britain though, Equestria did still permit life imprisonment in the literal sense of the word. And let’s be blunt, Cozy would continue to scheme and plot if she was released. Any ‘reformation’ could be another ploy. Perhaps in time she may become reformed truly, with the right treatment, but for the time being, Tartarus was the best place for her.  

Still, at the end of the day, you were putting a nine year old filly in a box and throwing away the key. That never looks good in the headlines.  

But, as is so often the case, it wasn’t my call. I am just an apple farmer after all. I guess having watched the show for all those years, I sometimes want to inject myself into the story more than I should. The only one who could have any effect on Cozy’s fate was Cozy herself.  





After an enjoyable lunch, I spent a bit of time with my parents and little sister before heading back to the farm. It was early evening by now, and the sun was barely cresting the horizon. I figured I had another hour or so of daylight. I’d promised Applejack that I’d fix that broken water pump too.  

As I was walking along, somewhat lost in my thoughts, I became aware of the sound of wingbeats close at hoof. For a brief second, I feared Derpy might be flying low again and prepared to hit the deck. But I soon realised from the slow, steady wingbeats, that their owner was a tad larger than your average pegasus. Pausing in my journey, I turned around and saw the dark blue figure of Luna just coming in to land a few yards away. The night alicorn touched down gracefully and folded her swan like wings to her side. I quickly trotted over to her.

“Luna!” I greeted brightly, allowing the alicorn to wrap a wing around me in a half hug. “What bring you down this way?”

“Why you, dear Blade Star,” she replied kindly. “I had just come to visit Twilight Sparkle and went to speak with your father about recent events. He told me of your opposition to imprisoning Cozy Glow.”

“She’s a child, Luna,” I said sadly. “A really messed up child, but a child nonetheless. Jail isn’t the place for her, much less Tartarus” Luna smiled as she walked alongside me.  

“Not so long ago, I believe you would have thought it a perfectly reasonable course of action,” she replied.  

“It makes sense,” I answered, looking up at her. “But it doesn’t feel right.” The alicorn smiled.  

“Your viewpoint is an admirable one,” Luna said. “It makes me proud to see how far you have come since we spoke at the award ceremony not so long ago.”

That made my chest swell up with more than a bit of pride. Particularly as, unlike before, I hadn’t fallen back into old habits. Luna continued.  

“Once upon a time, you sought simply vengeance for those who had wronged you, and those you care for. Now you seem to be guided more by a sense of justice. While Cozy has done wrong, and committed a horrible crime, you are still able to see the filly within, not just a monster. Despite all she has done, you still look to help. I find that most satisfying.”

Ah, if Luna had a Vulcan quality, it was how difficult it was to earn praise. Coming from her, satisfactory was a very high mark.  

“It feels better too,” I replied. “Before, when something like this happened, my head would be swirling for days. Heck, you remember how Ah was after the Storm King’s attack.”

“Indeed I do. And yet despite the trauma of almost losing your magic, you have slept quite soundly these past few nights.”

We were now coming up on the border of Sweet Apple Acres. The stately alicorn beside me came to a stop, prompting me to stop as well.  

“So is this the part where you take me the astral plane and give me a pair of wings?” I asked jokingly. Luna giggled.

“Not quite, Blade Star,” Luna replied. “Although it would be nice to have a male alicorn around for a change.” She flashed her own teasing smile at me, making me blush. “Now, I just wished to say how proud I am of you. You listened to my advice, and you truly heeded it, becoming a better pony as a result.” I smiled.

“Sometimes, these days, I feel more pony than human.”

“Is that such a bad thing?” Luna asked mysteriously.  

Then, without warning, the alicorn opened her wings and took off into the evening sky, vanishing a few moments later in a teleport.  

Heading up the lane, I soon found myself back at the farmhouse, pleasant and inviting as ever. From the smell of home cooking, I could tell that Granny Smith was just setting out an early supper. I put on a burst of speed lest Big Mac wolf down my share again. Once again, I returned to my new idyllic life here in Equestria.
> Epilogue - Graduation
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

As luck would have it, the incident with Cozy Glow occurred only a couple weeks before graduation. Needless to say, the little psycho wouldn’t be graduating with her class. To say she was being held back would be a gross understatement. Still, the other students would be graduating, including the six students who had helped to stop Cozy Glow, with the aid of the Tree of Harmony.  

I do my best to keep my ear to the ground when it comes to important ponies and the like in Equestria, so I figured, seeing as how I sort of owed them for getting me and everypony else back their magic, that I should meet Twilight’s little Affirmative Action group. If nothing else, AJ would naturally be attending the graduation ceremony, and I wanted to see her hard work pay off.  

There was of course, another matter that I wanted to run by Twilight, but that could wait until later.  

That morning, I went with Applejack up to the school. The place was bustling, not only with the graduating alumni, but also proud parents, friends, and even a few members of the press. This success story had certainly put to rest any concerns Neighsay or his ilk might have had left. Speaking of, the now more open minded jackass was here too. And I’d promised AJ that I’d at least be civil; friendship is magic and all that jazz. As I said before though, he had seemed to have realised the error of his ways.

Heading inside the school, AJ and I parted, she to attend the graduation ceremony itself, and I to seek out Neighsay to see about mending previously burned bridges.  

I’d talked about him with Dad a few days ago. Apparently, he had taken something of a political hit in the aftermath of what happened. While he may have renounced his bigoted views, it had had the unintended side effect of bringing back to light his very serious cock up from when the school first opened its doors. If you recall his...colourful comments, sparked a major international incident that nearly sent us hurtling out of several alliances and possibly to war. He was now reaping the proverbial whirlwind. Still, the word was he’d recover in time. But for now, his reputation had taken a bit of a pasting.  

Heading into the main hall, I found he wasn’t present at the graduation reception. A little bit of detective work led me to find out that he was apparently somewhere out on the grounds, The guy didn’t exactly strike me as the type to attend parties that much, certainly not ones planned and hosted by Pinkie Pie. That and he did rather have egg on his face at the moment, considering it was a pony rather than any other creature that tried to turn friendship into a weapon.  

Still, I am a firm believer in Twilight’s philosophy and teachings. Yes, he made a mistake, and yes, he was a racist ass. But he had seen the error of his ways. And if it weren’t for him, Celestia, Luna and half the Royal Guard wouldn’t have turned up at the crucial moment. If nothing else, we were both intellectuals and stallions of reading. So I decided to seek him out.  

Stepping away from the reception, I walked out into the beautiful courtyard, with the large fountain in its centre. There were several trees dotted about the perimeter, some of which could trace their ancestors to Sweet Apple Acres. It was under one of these trees that I found Neighsay. He was, as ever, decked out in the deep red robes of Equestrian Education Association and his medallion hung from his neck. At the present, he seemed to be deep in thought, but he looked like he could use some company. I put my own lessons on friendship into action.  

“Chancellor,” I said as I walked up. The teller stallion looked up from his thoughts and made eye contact with me.  

“Oh, it’s you,” he said after a moment, his voice reminding me somewhat of the late Orson Wells. “Blade Star, wasn’t it?” I nodded.  

“My friends call me Bones,” I replied, smiling slightly. Neighsay thought for a moment.  

“Oh, you are a doctor then?” he asked.  

“No,” I replied. “Ah’m just an apple farmer who dabbles in magic from time to time. You’re the first pony to recognise the origins though.” The chancellor’s face became downcast again.

“I suppose you are here to gloat,” he said glumly. I shook my head as I sat down next to him under the tree.  

“Not really my style,” I replied. “Although I was happy to hear that you have renounced your previous views.”

Silence hung in the air for a moment. There was no tension between the two of us. But he was feeling quite the fool.

“If it’s any consolation,” I said. “Ah once thought as you did, at least towards changelings. Even after the peace, Ah still doubted that they could be trusted. Ah even went and developed a spell to harm them, and only them, if they ever tried to attack Equestria again.”

“What changed your mind?” Neighsay asked. I thought for a moment.  

“There’s a saying on my old world, chancellor. Judge a man not by the colour of his skin, but by the content of his character. Ah realised that not all changelings are bad, just as not all ponies are good. Celestia knows we have learned that this past year. The Pony of Shadows, the traitor Tempest, and now Cozy Glow; all ponies.”

“There are calls in Canterlot for me to resign from my position,” Neighsay said solemnly. “And I must admit that I am considering it.” I turned to face him.

“Not that it’s any of my business, chancellor. But I would suggest you remain in your current post.”

“Why?”

“You have learned from your mistakes,” I replied. “And irregardless, you are a gifted administrator. You now have the ability to reshape the EEA into a more constructive force, rather than a constraining one. The school could be the model for the future EEA standards.”

“You are rather forgiving, Blade Star,” Neighsay commented. “Considering that I insulted your friends, your family and almost brought this nation to ruin.” I shrugged my shoulders.

“Ponies in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones,” I replied simply as I got to my hooves again. “Anyway, please come back to the reception, sir. Ah’m sure the graduating class would be glad to see ya again, as would Princess Twilight and her fellow professors.”





And so, Neighsay accompanied me back to the little shindig Pinkie had thrown for the new alumnus. Now that he was no longer slinging racial insults and constantly sniping at Twilight’s teaching methods, he was actually quite tolerable to be around. In the manner of ponies, they welcomed him back without trouble and soon enough he was talking with some of the visiting parents, and I might add, extolling the virtues of this institution.  

In addition to head of the EEA, the new graduates had returned, having gotten their diplomas. I wonder what friendship studies gets you, probably a BA, let’s be honest. Although, as magic is a science in Equestria, and friendship is magic, it may well be a BSc. Twilight’s six top students were chatting with their professors. I knew each of them through Applejack, who had told me more than a few tales. Firstly, there was Gallus the griffon, then there was Smoulder the dragon, one of Spike’s closest friends, Yona, who hailed from Yakyakistan, Silver Stream, a hyperactive hippogriff, Ocellus the young, shy changeling, and finally Sandbar, the earth pony of the group. Each of them were dressed in their robes, with mortarboards on their heads, the tassels now hanging from the right hoof side to show their transition from undergraduate to graduate.  

I wonder if Twilight would be doing a masters program, or even PhD studies.  

While our paths had never crossed, I knew quite a bit about each of them through AJ. Gallus reminded me of my best friend from high school; a touch headstrong and cocksure, but ultimately a good guy. Ocellus in contrast, well, that was me in high school. Shy as hell, nervous, and fond of libraries. She’d come out of her shell quite a bit this past year by all accounts. I decided to go over and say hello, Ocellus was chatting with AJ anyway.   

My marefriend spotted me and waved me over. I guess, being the only other pony in here with a cowpony hat, I did rather stick out like a sore thumb. Trotting over, I joined pony and changeling.  

“Ocellus,” Applejack said kindly. “This is my coltfriend, Blade Star.” I smiled at the young changeling and touched the brim of my hat.  

“Ma’am,” I said cordially. Ocellus smiled back.  

“Ocellus and Ah were just talkin ‘bout Fluttershy’s animal sanctuary,” AJ explained. She did have a fair bit in common with Fluttershy, with her shyness and adorability being the two top contenders. Never thought I’d see a changeling as cute and adorable, I must say. But with their still fairly recent transformation, their species has become a lot more aesthetically pleasing, more so if you listen to some of the taboo rumours floating around the Badlands.

It was then I realised something; these six kids seemed to mirror one of their professors. Ocellus, as I said was a lot like Fluttershy, Silver Stream had some commonalities with Pinkie, Smoulder could be headstrong and brash like Rainbow, Yona’s strength certainly tallied with AJ, and Gallus if nothing else, judging by the way he styled his feathery hairdo,  had some commonalities with Rarity. Only Twilight and Sandbar didn’t match up. But then again, from my brief interaction with him, he was, without a doubt, the single most boring pony in the history of Equestria. He made Father Stone seem entertaining and full of life!   

And let’s be honest, the world doesn’t need another Twilight Sparkle. It’s bad enough with Starlight here and Sunset in that weird other world as it is!

Still, the idea entered my mind, considering that the Tree of Harmony seemed to have channelled it’s power through them, that these six may constitute another potential team. We’d had the Pillars, the Elements, Starlight’s merry band of misfits; it couldn’t hurt to have another group on hoof.  

Turning back to the conversation at hoof, I began to talk with Ocellus. Like I said before, she reminded me of myself at that age.

“So, what are ya thinkin’ of doin’ next now that y’all have graduated, Ocellus?” I asked curiously. “Headin’ back to the hive, or do ya fancy stayin on in Equestria a mite longer?”

“I’m not quite sure yet,” the changeling answered in a sweet, soft voice, that again reminded me of the Element of Kindness. “Headmare Twilight said that I could go back home and help spread what I’ve learned, or encourage other changelings to come and study here.”

“Well, Ah’m sure Thorax would love that idea,” I agreed. “Ah actually had the pleasure of meetin’ him about a year or so ago now.”

“Oh really?” Ocellus asked. I nodded.

With that, we fell into the usual routines of polite conversation. Applejack went away to talk with Rarity at some point or another, leaving me to chat with the changeling. Meeting Ocellus I think, was the final nail in the coffin for my issues when it came to changelings. If I did have any issues, they were Chrysalis only, and not because she was a changeling. To come back to what I had said to Neighsay, I had judged the content of her character, and found it more than a little wanting.  

After talking with Ocellus for a while, she introduced me to her other friends. It was a little strange, meeting creatures that I already knew so much about, and yet was only meeting for the first time. It kind of reminded me of when I first met Twilight and her friends a few years ago.  

After that, I mingled for a bit, running into AJ again and getting introduced to a few other pony students. I was surprised at the variety of students, both in their ages and their places of origin. You had everything from young foals who were around Cozy’s age, to nearly full grown ponies who would be going off to university.

Having enjoyed the party for a fair while though, I decided that it was high time to go and see this institution’s headmare; one Twilight Sparkle. The alicorn had been surprisingly absent from the party following the actual graduation ceremony, and according to Pinkie, who I ran into at the punch bowl, she was in her office with Spike. You’d have thought that after all these years, Twilight would have learned to stop shunning parties and friendships in favour of studying.  

I needed to have a chat with her anyway, so I promised Pinkie that I’d go fetch her, and drag her back here by the scruff of her neck if I had to.





I didn’t really know my way around the school all that well, so it took a little bit of work to find Twilight’s office. The place could certainly have done with a few more signs or maps posted about here and there. If nothing else, it would help the new students next year. I made my way past the various classrooms, including one that had apple trees growing in it, which I assumed to be Applejack’s, and then ended up in the library.  

Here, I did get briefly distracted and took a few moments to have a quick browse. While I was looking around, I accidentally stumbled on an open grate. Looking down, I realised that it had to lead down into the catacombs under the school. I knew from AJ and the others that the Tree of Harmony had extended its roots underneath the building. It was this fact that ensured that Cozy got what was coming to her, and restored all the magic to its rightful owners.  

For a moment, I considered venturing down there to take a look for myself. But having seen ‘It’ amongst other films, I didn’t particularly fancy going down there. And between you and me, I didn’t fancy encountering the avatar of the tree again. Particularly as last time it had almost trapped Twilight’s six top students down there as part of a test. So instead, I activated my magic and carefully replaced the ornate metal grate, lest some unlucky student accidentally stumble down there again. After all, Cozy’s plan would never have got off the ground if she hadn’t had somewhere like that to open the rift.  

Heading out of the library, I struck out along one of the more open corridors and up a couple flights of stairs. It occurred to me that Twilight’s office would probably be up there somewhere instead of on the ground floor. Eventually, after much searching, I found myself before a large pair of double doors. Their imposing nature suggested somepony important behind them, so I rapped on the door with a hoof.

I heard a couple of voices from within, and a moment later, the door unlatched and Spike appeared. He smiled as he looked up at me.

“Oh, hey Bones,” he said brightly. “What brings you here?”

“Hey Spike,” I replied in kind. “Ah was just wonderin’ if Ah could talk to Twilight for a minute. Got somethin’ Ah wanna run by her.” With a nod, Spike stepped to one side and opened the door wider to let me in.  

Heading inside, I found a large, neatly kept office. The place evidently doubled as a staff room or meeting room too by the look of it. Twilight was sat at her desk, scribbling away at some scroll or another. As I walked in, she set these to one side, got up and trotted over to me.  

“Twilight, Ah thought ya learned way back when ya stopped nightmare Moon,” I said. “Ya can’t skip out on parties just to study all the time.” Twilight took my gentle teasing with a chuckle.

“I promise I’ll come back down in just a few minutes, Blade Star,” she promised. “But I still have to finish writing up my report for Princess Celestia.”

“You’re writing up a friendship report like old times?” I asked with some nostalgic joy. But Twilight’s face fell.

“No, it’s for your dad,” she said, before adding. “About Cozy Glow. It’s more a statement really.” Walking over to her, I gave the alicorn a brief hug.  

“Twilight,” I said. “Some ponies choose to cast themselves adrift. Ya can’t save the world.” I realised the stupidity of what I’d just said. “Ah mean, Ah know y’all have helped save the world...what...ten times now, but ya know what Ah mean, right?”

Luckily, my hoof in mouth moment made Twilight and Spike giggle and lifted her spirits a bit.  

“Anyway,” I went on, carefully changing the subject. “Before ya do finish up here, there’s somethin’ Ah wanted to run by ya.”

“Oh, what’s that?” she asked, now curious as ever.  

“Well,” I said. “Ah’ve been studyin’ magic for a few years now. Ya helped me learn the basics, and without wantin’ to boast, Ah’ve gotten pretty good at it. But there’s only so much ya can do on your own. So Ah was wonderin’, how would y’all feel about taking me on in a research position. Ah’d do some teachin’ as well, of course. Celestia knows you girls could use an extra set of hooves for when ya next get called away on a friendship mission.”

I was rather pushing the boat out here, but I’d been dwelling on the idea for some time. I’d been quite the academic back home, and I’d considered staying on in university after I graduated to do my masters and PhD. Plus, with all my knowledge of the show, along with my existing knowledge on magic, I figured that I had some pretty good credentials.  

Still, it was a big ask, and I could see that I’d caught Twilight slightly off guard. For a moment, I figured I’d overstepped the mark and was about to take my request back when Twilight came to a decision.

“Well, that is a compelling argument,” Twilight agreed. “And I suppose I could take you on on a provisional basis.” I grinned at that.

“The salary won’t be much good,” Twilight added. I smiled.

“Twilight, Ah’ve got few concerns in this world, bits ain’t one of ‘em.”

“Alright then,” Twilight eventually agreed. I suppose I could give you an office and fund a couple of your projects. Provided of course, that it relates to the magic of friendship. And you’ll have to teach at least two classes a week once the new term starts.”

“Ah think Ah can manage that,” I said confidently with a nod.  

And so, the two of us, with Spike in tow, left her office and headed back downstairs to where the party was still bustling. I rejoined Applejack and explained my proposal to Twilight. I’d already planned out the work pattern for myself. As it would only be part time, like her own teaching job, there would still be plenty of time for me to tend to the farm with her and Mac, whilst not sacrificing my social life. Applejack had just one reservation.

“Ya sure you’re okay with teachin’ kids, Bones?” she asked. I simply nodded.

“Sure AJ,” I replied. “Ah mean, how hard can it be?”