Negotiations
Celestia's chariot flew over the Equestrian grassland. Four pegasi pulled it forward, two mares and two stallions. A strange new tribe had appeared in the most desolate part of her kingdom and their leader had sent an envoy requesting an audience with her so that he may negotiate a deal officially making this land his own fiefdom or "Khanate" as he called it.
The Princess didn't care what this new nation was going to be called, she was still going to represent Equestrian interests. The Equestrian grasslands weren't the most fertile lands in her kingdoms by any stretch, but later generations of farmers could still want to set up colonies in it one day. Better to make it clear today that these Caribou had to accept that than face conflict with them down the line. It was one for the Yaks, Changelings or Dragons to want to keep their complete independence, it was an entirely different thing for a new species to barge in and demand Equestrian territory even if her subjects weren't using it.
The journey took her much shorter than she had expected. Curious. Perhaps the Caribou camp had moved closer to Equestrian civilization. Maybe they were trying to trade with her subjects.
"You know this breaking protocol, right, Princess? Princess Luna would have sent for an envoy first before going herself."
"I know. However, I'm not Princess Luna, Hastings."
She did have a nagging feeling that there was wrong with these strangers. But you needed to give ponies the benefit of the doubt. To give them a chance to be their best selves. She had trusted Discord of all people, regardless of her fears and doubts and she didn't regret it. Yes, he had joined Tirek during this attack but he had redeemed himself. She would be Chrysalis' lunch if it wasn't for his heroic deed. This humble little tribe couldn't possibly be more dangerous than the spirit of chaos. Celestia sighed. If her sister had had the same wisdom to trust others, a thousand years of heart ache could have been avoided. Besides, she'd go mad if she had amuse herself one more time by making faces on pancakes.
"Don't land immediately. Fly over their camp once. I want to see how they live."
"Yes, Princess!"
First they flew over an empty field with strange, four legged creatures gathered in a large herd. The Caribou cows were milking the female ones and performing a strange ritual involving the milk, a fire and a golden statue with two heads. What was weird was that they were doing all these things naked. She would have to have a word with this Khagan Dainn of theirs about this.
The camp itself was made out of weird leathery round structures. Some Caribou bucks and cows were just hanging out outside, but always separate from each other. Finally, on the other side of the camp, the Caribou fawns were playing games. The male fawns were playing a very rough and tumble game where they were separated in pairs, riding one of these beasts she saw in the herd and each fawn was trying to pull the other one off of his ride. It struck Celestia as rather dangerous, even after she realized that their leather clothes were padded. The female fawns meanwhile engaged in a little game of tag. To her great relief, unlike their mothers, they were fully clothed.
As she landed, she was greeted by their leader and a group of his male subjects. His scale armor and chainmail headgear was clearly meant as regalia, but her own guards' shiny bronze plate armor was infinitely more impressive. She felt bad for embarrassing this humble community and its leader by showing off like that.
"Greetings, Princess Celestia."
A black object had translated his words for him. His knees did not bend. He had no intention of becoming her vassal, at least not yet.
"Greetings. Khagan Dainn was it?"
A huge buck wormed his way from between the crowd and started making aggressive gestures at her. Her guards immediately pointed their spears at him.
"Nice tits, bitch! Get those silly clothes off and lick my balls!"
And just as suddenly as he had appeared, he collapsed on the grass before them.
"So sorry you had to see this, Princess. Ivangir's the clan drunk. We couldn't keep him away from the airag even when he knew a honored guest like you was coming."
Celestia was quite willing to forgive this incident. Canterlot nobles had hit the bottle and done far worse things in her centuries long rule. Another armored figure appeared from between the crowd, clearly infinitely more composed than this Ivangir of theirs.
"It is our custom for negotiations with other rulers to be held in the royal yurt."
"Lead the way."
Dainn gave one of his subjects a nod and the crowd dispersed. Celestia and her entourage followed the two armored Caribou to the aforementioned yurt.
"Your warriors stay outside."
A fair request, Celestia thought and commanded them to do just that.
Just as they sat down in the yurt on the leather covering the grass, a Caribou cow came into the carrying three cups of milk.
"Let us drink, Celestia. So that wisdom may come to us." the other Caribou explained.
The gut feeling she had on her way here was screaming at her. Celestia hated herself for being this paranoid, but she had to be sure. She turned to Dainn.
"Would you mind if I have one of my guards taste this?"
"Not at all."
"Shield Wall, come into the tent."
The aforementioned guard came in.
"Drink."
Shield Wall drank and looked nervous for a moment. They waited, Celestia keeping an eye on Dainn. Shield Wall's nervousness turned into annoyance.
"It's just milk, Princess. Sure, it tastes a bit odd, but that's because it's from these beasts of theirs."
Celestia nodded and Shield Wall slipped back out. She gave Dainn an embarrassed look, but he seemed to understand.
The cow came carrying yet another three cups of milk. This was the 4th time already.
"Thank you, dear." Celestia said, took the cup and drank it in one go. So did the two Caribou.
This was getting really annoying at this point. Yet the Caribou refused to negotiate until Celestia had drunk her "cup of wisdom".
"What do you mean, swear fealty to you?"
"These lands are part of my kingdom, Dainn. I don't care if you keep calling yourself Khagan or assume the title of Duke. I only care that you acknowledge this fact and my rule."
"We fought many wars to keep our independence in the old homeland, Celestia. This is unacceptable."
This could have been seen as a veiled threat. But the idea of her kingdom being threatened by this tribe, whose leader wore armor that made him look like a beggar compared to her rank and file guards, was preposterous. Nor did Dainn's somber tone imply threat.
"This isn't your old homeland." the Princess reminded sternly.
She was driving a hard bargain, even after just insulting them but that's what Princesses were for.
The cow came in again.
"Thank you, dear." she said again and drunk her milk.
"Why? Why do you care about these lands? Your subjects don't live need them. They do not depend on the warbeast like we do."
There was something Celestia admired about Dainn's slyness and his ability to see she was up to something. Still, she had to press on.
"Because one day, my subjects might want to found new towns and farms in these lands."
"How dare you?!" the other armored Caribou cried out.
"Quiet, Ortwin. You're the clan's storyteller, it's your job to preserve our history. It's the Khagans that make it." Dainn snapped back at him.
"Sorry, my liege."
"Why would you care, Dainn? There is more grazing land in the Equestrian grasslands than your herds can ever need even if my subjects decided to start some farms in it."
"I can't accept out of principle. My clan stands to win nothing from this deal."
"As my subjects, they would enjoy all the rights and protections ponies enjoy. They would be free to travel and live anywhere in Equestria as long as they obey my laws."
"And would they have to obey these laws here?"
The cow carrying the milk came in again. Celestia didn't even bother to thank her this time.
"Yes, speaking of which, this female nudism thing has to stop."
"My liege! This is going too far. This goes against our sacred tradition." Ortwin cried out.
Celestia expected Dainn to scold his subject again, but this time he gave her another sad look.
"He's right. I can not and will not accept this."
The Princess knew she was going too far. There was driving a hard bargain and then there was driving away potentially valuable allies.
"Fine, you may keep your traditions, but only here. In our towns and cities, you will follow our rules."
"Guess that's as good a deal I'm getting from you. Fine, I'll accept."
Dainn held out his hand to her. Celestia took it and shook it. She could see that several scars covered his arm. They had fought hard to keep their independence and now she was taking it from them. She kind of felt bad doing so.
"Engla, bring us milk one last time." Dainn commanded.
Celestia was going to be tired of dairy for a long time. Still, it was over. She had done a good job representing Equestria.
"To this new friendship!" she said, lifting her cup.
"To this new friendship!" the two Caribou repeated and drunk the contents of their cups in one go.
Celestia did the same. And then her entire body started burning. The yurt, Dainn, Ortwin, her hands. Everything was melting.
"You... you poisoned me! I.... I had such high hopes for you. "
Of course! They put the poison in the last cup she drank. They used her own good will against her. She should have known. She tried to cast a spell to light Dainn on fire, but her horn wasn't working. No part of her body was. Her guards screaming was the last thing she heard before consciousness failed her.