The Big Outlander

by Locus Amoenus

First published

One new guest arrives at ponyville, but this one is different from anypony else.

I'm keeping this as a promise... to myself and the crappy unborn characters of this...

Twilight Sparkle recieves a top-secret letter from not the princess, but with all the important names written on it. The letter says that an important and dangerous foreginner will arrive at Ponyville. The letter doesn't specify how or when, not a single description of who even.

The story will center on a horse, "embassador" of a distant continent. He is very brave and powerfull (The best Knight after all), and will be freaked out of every single thing happening on Ponyville (Pinkie Pie), and will suffer many Boke/Tsukkomi.

There is a good backstory of him, but nothing of this will be shown. EVER. Mostly because is non-pony stuff.

The reason of "Why Ponyville?" Is because The Princesses want to have fun at the expense of this poor horse (I hope to show some inexplicable events also).

Ow! On Hiatus because I find it boring. I will continue it... when I deal with some bussines.

The unreaded letter

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The day was as sunny as it was planned for a sunny day in Ponyville, a few immobile clouds were in the sky giving its shadows to the ground. Below a particularly big shadow, there was a checkered red & white blanket on a picnic setting with many ponies having fun, all except one (who wasn’t even a pony).

Twilight approached carelessly to Spike, but her tone nor words were regular.

-Spike, what’s wrong?- Said Twilight trying to not look worried- you are acting weird since... why did you arrived later to the picnic anyway?

-You’ll see Twilight, I received a letter while you were preparing everything in the morning on the house.

-But Spike! You know you must give me Princess Celestia’s letters as soon as they arrive!- That tone nor volume were careless and called everypony’s attention.

-It was a different kind of letter... I...I’ll explain you in the night. Hey Rainbow! Wanna play with the ball!?

-S-Sure Spike!- Rainbow was taken by surprise but assumed that the right thing to do was to follow him- You’ll never win!

-What’s wrong with the lit...- What’s happening with Spike?- Fluttershy cutted Rarity in the middle of her phrase.

-He-he’s okay right?- Now she was trying to return to her quiet former self.

-Yeah, hehe- Twilight was trying to gain some time to think- He’s just sad because he ate all the ice cream yesterday, and he knows I won’t buy more until the next week.

The Picnic was as nice as always, the conversation was already lost, but Pinkie Pie wasn’t talkative always. Many times during the meeting, her friends saw her lost in her thoughts, but... “She’s just being Pinkie”.

As expected, Spike lost against Rainbow Dash again, but this time he was not him, he accept the failure without whining and then he mostly played with Peewee.

This picnic ended earlier than previous picnics, but felt like it was longer... everypony was concerned about Spike, but they knew the only one who can talk to him was Twilight.

-Well everypony, this day was as lovely as always- Applejack did great finishing the picnic- It’s getting dark and I need to do some applebuking really early in the morning, Macintosh had to do almost all the work by himself because of me.

-Oh I forgot!- I must do a super duper big shipping of gaiters! and
I only have two days left!. Goodbye everypony!- And so on, she went sprinting.

-I have to heal a poor deaf bat. He needs to feed his family.

-I wanna do a morning session of flight, so I must sleep well.

-Well girls, see you tomorrow. Let’s go Spike...

Both of them walked slowly. Only the quiet sounds of the night were present and such silence was solid, uncomfortable... two words were said by Twilight, trying to break the silence, but they just add impatience to both, and so on they walked faster.

At least the silence let Twlight concentrate and think... Which kind of letter was so important that needed somepony else to deliver it!?. Why The Princess didn’t send it trough Spike? Was she in trouble? Was she monitored? The letter will be safe in the house? When we arrive, the house will be a mess and the letter won’t be?

-Twilight, open the door, where are at home- Spike waited some minutes before saying that-

-Oh! Sorry Spike.

Twilight unlock with the usual Open Spell. Nothing changed. The hinges sounded the same. Then she slowly started to open the door, afraid of what would be inside, or how mess up the house would be.

-Twilight! Is something wrong?- Spike didn’t understand what was delaying her friend so long-

Such words did work at least. Twilight rammed into the house with a little squeak. She crashed with a big pony’s head, and laid on the floor with her eyes closed, fearing the worst, and the worst happened.

-Um... Twilight, that’s our wooden sculpture... of... a pony.

-Oh! you are right Spike, hehe- Twilight had a terrible terrible red blush on her face, and a little bump, that looked like a second horn below the real one- Spike! stop laughing! Is not funny!

-Oh Twilight! another bump more and you will look like that old animal from the big book.

-WHAT! are you saying that I look like a triceratops!?

-That’s the name! And that piece of wood stuck in your horn sure helps- Indeed, Twilight looked like a mess with her mane all shaggy, a now-green bump, a red blush and a pony’s wood mane stuck on her horn. She wasn’t even able to use magic to clean her up!

-Spike!

-Oh... sorry Twilight, let me help...

Well... Spike pulled and Twilight went back... You should have been there! What a scene... Oh! of course Twilight managed to free from her prison, but launched herself into the next room in the process.

-Oww... that’s gonna hurt in the morning- And Spike was laughing again- What Spike? What now!?

Guess what! Oh, I’m tired and I want to go to bed, just tell me. No, guess! Spike! I don’t want to guess anything today. Oh com’on, a good clue is “T”. “T”? Yeah, It starts with “T”. “T”...

-OH FOR CELESTIA’S AND LUNA’S HEAVEN'S SAKE!- Screamed Twilight in anguish- I just... I’m going to bed.

-Yeah, me too, all this day got me tired. Can you believe I almost win against Rainbow Dash today?- Lied Spike while they were going upstairs.

-Sure Spike, 2 - 10 is a hard match.

-But! but... I’m improving a lot!

-Yeah sure- Said Twilight grinnin- Let’s go to bed champ. Tomorrow I want to know why my cookies suddenly disappeared.

Unprecedent meetings

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-So... girls, we are here to discuss about Spike and Twilight- Said Rainbow Dash, leading the conversation- All of us heard only a few things about the issue between our friends, and we must find out what happened. Fluttershy, did you bring that summary?

-Yes, here- Said Fluttershy in gesture of giving her the file-

-No no no, Fluttershy, you read it- Said Rainbow Dash, refusing to read-

-Um, okey, here it goes- Since when Fluttershy used glasses? Well, she looked like a moe secretary... Is Rainbow Dash smiling by the way?- Ejem.

“The next document is a confidential transcription of the conversation of the subjects Twilight Sparkle and Spike the Dragon. This document must not be readed by foreigners to the subject, aka, everypony unrelated to The Elements of Harmony. If...”

-Really? Who wrote this?- Said Applejack- This is really silly.

-Excuse me?- Jumped Pinkie Pie- I worked VERY VERY HARD writing this! Did you know how hard was to actually do it hidden from everypony else? Also, such conversation mustn't be readed by a bunch of random readers from everywhere!.

-Who could care to read such a silly “document” anyway?- The burst of Pinkie Pie got Applejack by surprise and now they both were mad- Can we just read the conversation and find out why our friends are worried?

-Oh please, Applejack, such important information must have the proper formalities- Was Rarity defending Pinkie Pie? She was attacking Applejack- What Pinkie Pie did was very, very, important! Who knows what kind of mess would happen if the important document were just a plain paper with only some messy words scattered all over the place?

-Yeah!- Pinkie Pie...-

This wasn’t a conversation anymore, now it was a battle of senseless words about how a letter should be printed on a paper, how we must write ANYTHING and a Pinkie Pie supporting every sentence said.

-Girls- Rainbow Dash was trying to recover the lead and continue the discussion- Girls, we are not here to argue- Still nothing- GIRLS! STOP!- Even Rainbow Dash screaming wasn’t enough. She joined the discussion, trying to stop it, but only increasing it...-

-Um... GIRLS! WHY ALWAYS WE ARGUE WHEN TWILIGHT IS NOT WITH US!?- Now Fluttershy reclaim her throne as the loudest pony- Well... we must solve this mystery...

-Yeah, I’m sorry, it’s true- Said Applejack playing with some dirt with her hooves-

-We must be together, always- Stated Rainbow Dash-

-Well, screaming and discussing is not the way a proper lady behave- Implied Rarity-

-That’s mean I won!- Declared Pinkie Pie with a winner face-

-PINKIE PIE!

-Sorry sorry... Fluttershy, you don’t have to read all those silly formalities then, just skip them and read the conversation- Pinkie Pie was a little sorry now-

-Oh, okey- Muttered Fluttershy as the skipped each page after reading a little. Page after page...- Pinkie Pie...?- Said requesting help-

-Seems like I got a little excited about all this confidentiality stuff... he eh... erm, just jump to the last page.

Sure the last page was different. It was a little paper, creased and stained with something that looked like cake icing. Probably, Pinkie Pie tried to fix the messy “file” with “formalities”. As the page show up, she started to blush (Pinkie Pie blushing? It looked like cherries over strawberries!)

·Twilight: Spike? Is something wrong? You even arrived later to the picnic.
·Spike: Twilight (muttering) I received a super duper high confidential letter while you were checking for hundredth time the picnic basket.
·Twilight: But Spike! Super Duper Important Letters From The Princess MUST be delivered always immediately!
·Spike: This was a different kind of Super Duper Important Letters From The Princess... If we speak here we will be in danger, I’ll explain you in the HQ.

-“Heich Quiyu”? What kind of witchery is that?- Applejack had such a confused face with freckles- Is Twilight creating a new weird spell or something? Because the last time, we had to buck Stone Apples the entire week!

-Darling, “HQ” means “HeadQuarters”. Is a word used to describe a place where you planify all your activities, it probably refers to the library, where Twilight lives.

-Twilight doesn’t speak like that- Fluttershy wonder- Probably something really serious happened during that conversation...

-Nah- Rainbow Dash cutted- Twilight didn’t know what was in the letter.

-And is weird of her worry that much about some letter to the princess- Pinkie Pie deducted- She obviously expects to receive in the moment any letter, and if Spike didn’t tell her about the letter at the exact moment that he received it, she would understand and remain in low profile, so that way we didn’t find out about such a super secret and important event.

-But she screamed out loud when she find out- Applejack blowed Pinkie’s deduction-

-I wonder what would be inside the letter. Spike couldn’t read any letter without Twilight’s permission- Rarity stated- He isn’t rude, and such a rude thing as reading a lady’s mail without any kind of permission is... awful!

-Well, the only thing that we can do to find out what is in the letter is reading it!- Rainbow Dash started to lead the case- I say that we go and question Twilight about the letter! Who’s with me!?

-Me!

-Of course me too, we must find out what’s going on with the poor Spike and Twilight

-Oh! me!

-But girls, don’t you think going to enforce Twilight to tell us what’s in the letter is ugly? If I recieved an important letter, and I didn’t feel comfortable enough to say out loud what it says, I wouldn’t like very much if all my friends ask me at the same time what’s going on...

-You’re right Fluttershy! Divide and Conquest! We must assault in different moments of the day!

-Oh no Pinkie Pie! I say we should only wait to Twilight to tell us what’s going on, and do not stress her. I want to act like nothing happened yesterday.

-But Fluttershy! You always act like nothing happened yesterday.

-Hey Rainbow! Fluttershy is right, we can’t be so selfish with our friends.

-This time I go for Applejack. I think the most polite way to act is forgetting nasty things and worry about the next day.

-Like at the Gala, when you meet Blueblood?

-Pinkie!... yeah, like that day...

-Well, It’s settled then... So... What do we do?... Wait all day long?

-I don’t know. But the only thing that I have in mind are all the apples that I have to buck.

-And I need to practice with the new needle set that I bought.

-I still must take care of the poor deaf bat... he’s even worse.

-Well, seems like I will be the only one who will ask Twilight then.

-PINKIE!- A nice chorus was set

-I will catch on eye on Pinkie... I don’t our entire plan spoiled...

-Good idea Rainbow. Okay everypony, let’s our plan “Do nothing” begin!


Somewhere else over the rainbow~~

And so on, Rainbow Dash started to stalk Pinkie Pie, watching and predicting every single move she could do. At the very start, Pinkie Pie just walked around the town, talking to somepony; watching somepony’s store; going for a snack at the sugar corner...

But then, she went in direction to the library! Rainbow prepared to tackle her... and PINKIE WAS SITTING ON A BENCH!

-Oww Rainbow, I’m soo bored right now. I think I should throw a party and do a protest against boredom... No wait, I already did that... I also could copy you and take a nap.

Rainbow was shocked. How could Pinkie find out that she was being followed!? Seems like Pinkie is special after all.

-How could you find out that you were followed!

-Well duh, you said you were going to follow me, didn’t you?

-Um... yeah- Said Rainbow Dash, casually putting a hood in the back of her head, casually looking to somewhere else and casually getting blushed. Oh! don’t forget her casually slow paced flapping- Well, um... I don’t know what we can do... well... I don’t have an idea what do we always do...

-Ow ow! let’s stalk that big shadow from over there! I assume you have practiced your stalking a little.

-Pinkie! That seems dangerous... What is that?

-I don’t know, but seems friendly and funny! Let’s stalk them and see all the funny things he do!

-Like g-gobble up a pony? oh no no no. It’s dangerous, we better go and tell the others.

-Afraid... Rainbow?- Said Pinkie Pie with a suggestive look on her face-

-Of course not! I’m Rainbow Danger Dash!- Now she was flying up and trying to look cool- Let’s stalk him! but... very quietly...