> Dash's Delivery
>  by biasedeyes
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Dash's Delivery
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rainbow flew back to Ponyville during the break from her Cloudsdale training camp. She was looking forward to taking a nap in her own bed after a couple weeks of camp. The beds there were pretty hasty cloud construction, and frankly, it was almost like sleeping on a mess of feathers, cloth and wood. She was passing a tall oak on the outskirts of Ponyville, when she saw a familiar purple splotch on the ground and zoomed down to talk to Twilight.
“Oh, hey Rainbow. Good to see you! I thought you were at training camp?” Twilight greeted Rainbow by cocking her head, halting easily in her tracks as her friend thumped into the ground before her.
“Nah, I’m on break!” replied Rainbow “And... guess who showed up to camp before I left?”
Twilight raised an eyebrow. Her best guess was Fluttershy, and that was ridiculous.
Dash paused for a moment more for dramatic effect, then continued. “The Wonderbolts, Spitfire and Soarin. What’s more, I’m pretty sure they’re going to ask me to fly with them for the summer sun celebration!”
Twilight’s other eyebrow rose. “How do you know?” Twilight was always a tough customer in the speculation department.
Rainbow tried to sum it into words “Well, Spitfire kind of told me. It was after the relays that she watched. She was like ‘Rainbow. You know, if I had to add one pony at camp to the Wonderbolts’ roster it would be you or that Spearswift guy. Keep up the good work’” It was hard to replicate Spitfire’s serious voice, or the way she had peered at Dash over her glasses.
Dash’s attempt to do so was met by a withering glance from Twilight. The sort of glance that meant she’d spotted ‘logical inconsistencies’ in your story. Rainbow Dash felt that everypony might be much happier if Twilight just let other ponies figure things out for her sometimes, but then, she wouldn’t really be Twilight if she did. As it was, she just rolled her eyes and proceeded to explain why it would have to be her who joined the Wonderbolts in the Summer Sun Celebration.
“Okay, so maybe there’s Spearswift but he hasn’t really got the chops. He’s fast, sure, but he hasn’t got a thing on the fastest mare in Equestria. Why, the only way he’d have a chance is if I started training him. Nopony knows how to be fast with style like...”
Twilight, meanwhile, had stopped listening somewhere after ‘Equestria’. She knew Dash was setting herself up for disappointment, but she also knew that Dash could carry a conversation on her awesomeness all by herself. She didn’t feel like making a careful explanation to her that Spitfire hadn’t actually indicated that anypony was going to join the Wonderbolts, since she knew Dash would ignore it. Instead, she interrupted with “Oh, Rainbow? Speaking of which, Zecora wants you to deliver something to the Cakes.”
“Really?” Rainbow’s self-aggrandizing train of thought faltered. She knew she was awesome, but that didn’t mean she was often thought of as a deliverypony.
“Yes. You see, the last time she had something delivered, Derpy did it, but she doesn’t want her this time.” Twilight said carefully.
“Oh?” replied Rainbow, raising her eyebrows. Derpy was Ponyville’s goto deliverypony, and she did an excellent job... mostly.
Twilight grimaced. “Yes. I believe her exact words were ‘If only all you ponies knew, how hard it is to hoofmake brew.’ She then proceeded to tell me that she needed a pony I trusted to deliver a package to the Cakes. I told her I didn’t know that many pegasi, and why didn’t she ask the Weather Patrol, but she insisted on someone personally trustworthy. In the end, I told her you could deliver it, that you’re really trustworthy as long as you keep your wings right side up.”
“Ha, ha.” Rainbow laughed halfheartedly. The last time she’d gone to Zecora’s hut, she’d all but demolished it. Not even on purpose, due to the misplaced xenophobia she’d felt, but just because her wings had been flipped upside-down as a ‘Poison Joke’, making her flying phenomenally clumsy.
“So, yeah,” continued Twilight, “whenever you could spare a moment. I’m sure everypony would really appreciate it. You could probably finagle a pastry or two out of Ms. Cake when you deliver it.”
“Alright.” said Rainbow, trying not to make her watering mouth noticeable. Getting something for free was a perfect opportunity to get one of those fancy-looking pastries which always looked so great, but that Rainbow could never quite spend the bits on. She already had one or two options in mind.
“Okay.” finished Twilight, studying her friend’s smug expression. “And you’ll have to tell us all about flight camp sometime. I think we’re having tea tomorrow if you’re still around?”
“Sure.” answered Rainbow. It was a testament to the deep friendship she had with the others that she was not only willing but happy to sit through tea with them.
Twilight nodded happily and waved goodbye to Rainbow before continuing on her way. Rainbow just hovered for a moment, deciding what to do.

Well, if she was gonna do this, she may as well get it done. The Cakes didn’t live too far from her cloud house, so she could deliver this thing now without too much hassle. After just a moment’s consideration Rainbow streaked into the air, arcing more or less directly to Zecora’s hut. She had a good memory for these things.
Far sooner than might have seemed reasonable to anypony who didn’t know her, Rainbow stood in front of the door to the low hut where the only Zebra near Ponyville lived, deep in the Everfree Forest. She took a shaky breath and stepped forward to tap on the door. After a moment Zecora’s voice sounded from inside, heavy with suppressed humor and periodic inflection.
“Come in, come in, no need to knock, as this door has not got a lock.”
Dash pushed open the door and stepped in. Zecora was standing among the many colored bottles of her home apothecary, hoofing a bottle onto the shelf. Her cauldron lay empty, the fire underneath unlit. Ambiguously expressive masks stared down from the wall, and Rainbow had to remind herself that they were the Zebra equivalent of welcome mats.
Zecora turned and smiled, greeting her. “Rainbow Dash, I’m glad to see, you flying so accurately.”
“Heh, yeah. So what’s this thing I’m ‘sposed to move?” replied Rainbow.
Zecora took a couple steps, then indicated a workbench that lay behind the door. On it lay a pile of straps twisted out of the vines of the Everfree, neatly joined with small rings of metal. “A helper for one Mrs. Cake, so as to little pony make.”
Rainbow stared at the pile on the workbench, puzzled.
“So it’s to help her... exercise?” asked Rainbow. It could be pretty hard to tell what Zecora was saying, sometimes, to a non-egghead, what with all the rhyming. Mrs. Cake was pretty plump, though. Zecora gave her a sharp look, then continued.
“Yes, the bonds between the hoof and flank, help give the inner Eros strength. Her power, being so increased, should multiply by two at least.”
Rainbow’s eyes widened. That was... impressive. She’d never heard the term ‘arrow strength’, but a device that could double wingpower? She knew Zecora had some freaky knowledge, but that was amazing. At the speeds at which Rainbow flew, wingpower didn’t translate directly into speed, but still...
Dash reminded herself that this was a device for Mrs. Cake. Doubling her ‘arrow strength’, whatever it was, might not be difficult at all. Still, it seemed like it would be pretty wasted on the earth pony.
“Cool." is what Rainbow said. Then, as an afterthought, “How does it work?"
There was that look again, eyebrow raised this time. Really, it was little wonder everypony used to think Zecora was evil, seeing as how she seemed to like glaring at everypony so much.
“The straps surround the legs, the head, then she is splayed across the bed.” Ouch. Zecora had adopted a flat, scolding tone, and Rainbow could swear she was speaking down to her! It wasn’t as if everypony knew about this exercise gizmo, was it? Or what the word ‘splayed’ meant, for that matter. In any case, it sounded like Mrs. Cake was in for a pretty severe burn pretty quickly, having to lie down right after. Dash looked at the pile of straps lying on Zecora’s worktable, but couldn’t see what would be so strenuous about them. Granted, they did look pretty strong.
“Okay, okay. So it’s not weather science. I just have to take this to the Cakes’?" asked Rainbow.
“Yes, let me pack it away from sight, and you may take it on its flight." answered Zecora, turning away to gather, supposedly, packing supplies.
“Nah, I’ll just take it like this." answered Rainbow, snatching the pile of straps from where it lay, and flying to the door. “It’s probably easier to carry like this anyway." She was just about to swoop out the door into the sky above the Everfree when Zecora interrupted her.
“Rainbow Dash! Are you sure? Its presence is... not so demure." Zecora’s eyes were wide and she had a hoof out as if to stop Rainbow.
“Yeah, I mean, who’s gonna care, anyway?" answered Rainbow Dash. “I’ll be sure to tell the Cakes it’s from you or whatever.” With that, she shot out the door and took to the sky, blasting through the trees into open air. She was done with listening to Zecora’s rhymes, done with trying to remember where she’d heard the word ‘demure’ before. She was pretty sure it was something to do with Fluttershy. Maybe if Zecora used smaller words, ponies who weren’t Twilight would like her better. Time to fly.

Rainbow almost dropped the stupid thing twice on her way back to Ponyville. The straps were easy to carry at first, but got really slippery at even the slightest bit of sweat. The few drops of sweat from her takeoff were enough to cause the straps to noodle out of her hooves. After a couple sudden stops straining her pinions in order to catch it she ended up holding the contraption with outstretched hooves meeting through one of the metal rings used to join the device together. This meant she couldn’t fly as fast, and her wings and eyes ached.
She would pass near home taking this thing to the Cakes’. Come to think of it, why didn’t she stop there to rest, and deliver it later? It wasn’t as if Mrs. Cake even knew Zecora had already given her the straps, she wouldn’t miss them. Her route remapped, she angled slightly and headed for home, wings beating a bit faster.

“Hellooo...” called Rainbow into the empty cumulus of her house. It was silly, she knew, but it was something her father used to do, so it made her feel at home. Honestly, it could get a bit lonely living in the air on the outskirts of Ponyville, but the sad truth was there weren’t that many ponies who were as cool as Rainbow Dash. Having a home made of cloud also meant she couldn’t even invite her friends to visit, at least not without getting Twilight to cast her freaky cloudwalking spell on everypony. Although, if she let her house scud close enough to the ground, Pinkie Pie could actually jump high enough to pop her head through the floor, which was kind of a really impermanent and irritating way to visit. Rainbow tended to keep it high in the sky.
With no answer forthcoming, Rainbow walked through her living room and threw the straps, and then herself, onto her nimbus couch. She just lay there for a bit, savoring the triumph of getting the stupid thing out of the Everfree, and her thoughts drifted back to flight camp.
She was faster than Spearswift, there wasn’t a pegasi faster than Rainbow. Nopony else had broken the sound barrier. Still, that was sprinting, and even though she could easily lap him in endurance training too... on the straightaway it took a little bit more effort to pass him than she’d like. If he learned to turn...
One of Rainbow’s eyes popped open, and she stared at the straps laid out in front of her. Zecora had said it would double Mrs. Cake’s strength. Granted, that was Mrs. Cake, but still, wasn’t it true that the benefit you got from exercise was proportional to how much effort you put in? In that case, shouldn’t she be able to do even better? What was more, she just had to deliver it by the end of the day, nopony would even know if it was used before then.
Rainbow poked at the straps, lifting one metal ring after another, until she found a portion that was approximately head-sized. She hoofed it over her head, then found four smaller spaces close together and slipped her hooves into those. As she pulled her hooves back to their normal standing position, the straps climbed up to her belly and framed her body. She stiffened a bit as some straps between her hindhooves grasped her tail above and below, lifting it slightly. Finally, the straps stopped moving through the rings, and Rainbow sighed. The straps lay flat across her fur, not tangled at all, and seemed to fit reasonably well, despite the fact that she was smaller than Mrs. Cake. Actually, they even seemed a bit tight in places, but not uncomfortably so.
Right, so… Rainbow kind of wondered how this was supposed to be so exerting. She walked back and forth a bit, but other than the motion feeling kinda weird due to straps rubbing against her it wasn't any more difficult than normal. She tried to peer down at her legs and make sure make sure that all the straps were aligned correctly. It looked good, but the strap that had been hanging out on her chin slipped into her mouth.
“Blegh, glegh.” said Rainbow as she raised her head, which caused the strap to slip further into her mouth, past her tongue. She cursed herself internally. Of course that strap would be at Mrs. Cake’s chin size. What might fit perfectly over Mrs. Cake's double chin had no place to rest on Rainbow's head. Rainbow tried to pull the strap out of her mouth with her tongue, but it had become slippery with the moisture in her mouth. Fortunately, it seemed a bit softer when wet too, wrapping around her cheeks instead of cutting into them. Rainbow figured she'd be okay with just a bit more exercise as long as she was careful. Walking didn't seem to be enough, what about flying? Dash closed her mouth, setting her teeth to keep the strap inside from slipping back, and lifted off.
And landed right away. Her legs trembled, and her wings were frozen stiffly away from her sides. She just stood there for a few moments, like a slightly trembling statue. When she was off the ground the straps had lifted into the folds between her legs and the rest her underside, pressing against the sensitive skin there. Maybe that was the challenge? She lifted off again and stayed airborne for almost twice as long before falling back to the ground, every limb stiff with tension. Her throat was dry, and the inside of her back legs started to itch. The straps felt tight against her skin.
In the kitchen, Rainbow had a cumulonimbus of sweet mountain water. From it she could pinch off wisps of cloud and whack them to make them rain into a cup or directly into her mouth. Rainbow trotted in with a stuttering gait, back legs kept close together. She considered the cloud with shaking legs a moment, then lay down and slid underneath it on her back. She rolled back and brought both hindhooves up, giving the cloud a buck her friend AJ would frown at before collapsing back to the floor, mouth open.
Despite her poor form, the cloud darkened and rained several gulpfuls of cool water into her mouth. It also rained all over her body, matting her fur, soaking under the straps and wetting them thoroughly. Her thirst quenched and her itchy hindquarters cooled by the water, Rainbow blinked. She wasn't sore or tired in the way she associated with strenuous exercise, in fact she felt more awake than usual, but she couldn't remember ever feeling so weak that she had to buck water into her mouth from the ground. The straps had worked their magic after all.
In any case, it was time to take them off. She didn’t think she could manage lifting off again with them on, not to mention they probably weren't supposed to be used when wet. She’d have to figure out how to dry them off before delivery.
She wriggled around in an attempt to simply shake them off, but the water made the straps adhere to her. She bent her head over to her shoulder to grab the strap there and pull it down. When she opened her mouth, the strap inside fell further in, pulling back to the end of her jaw and bunching her cheeks. Surprised, she fell back and tried to bite it.
Despite how soft it felt, the strap had a hard core, so Rainbow's impulsive chomp didn't harm it. Rainbow flushed, glad. There was no way she could deliver it with the chinstrap bitten in half. She brought her tongue back to push the strap out instead, but it was so wet and slippery that all she succeeded in doing was making some moist noises in the back of her mouth as her tongue flipped back and forth over the strap, sheets of saliva pouring off it. There was no way she could lever it out.
She groaned and raised her head to her shoulder again, trying to grab the strap there in her mouth and tear it off her shoulder. With the other strap in the back of her jaw, she couldn't close her mouth enough to get a good grip. She fumbled with the shoulder strap, lifting it with her lower jaw repeatedly before having it flip back firmly to her shoulder. Exasperated, she stood up and slammed her shoulder forward and back, trying to shake the strap off.
The straps under her back legs moved in response, sliding easily along soaked fur. They pressed close to the skin through the fine wet hair, firmly massaging the inside of each thigh in time with her movements. Soon, Rainbow slowed, her shoulder motion going from vigorous slams to tentative rotations. She sighed wetly, a deep exhalation, and made a few more movements back and forth before her rear half fell to the floor.
Rainbow felt numb from her hips down. Her legs had slipped back away from her, splaying slightly to each side, and her pelvis pressed against the cool condensation of the floor. She tried to get to her hooves, but the muscles in her back half wouldn't obey. She ended up dragging her butt a short distance over the moist cloud floor with her forehooves.
Dash wasn't used to her body betraying her like this. "Come on!" she snarled in frustration, pulling her torso up from her shoulders. Her low abdomen slipped over the wet ground and she gave a gasp as the straps pulled her head and shoulders back toward her hindhooves. Stuck staring at the ceiling in a backwards crescent, her wings began to beat tentatively, but there was no way for her to take off from this position. Breathing heavily, she moved almost instinctually, using her whole upper body in a bucking motion to try to shake off the straps, wings circling wildly on her back. After a few motions, she succeeded, overbalancing and curling into herself, then falling over onto her left side. She wasn't free of the straps, but at least she could feel her hind feet again... or at least her right one. She moaned, the side that she was lying on felt so relaxed, just as her back had felt before. Her right half felt fine, at least she knew what to do. Panting, she began to thrash in the straps with the side not trapped against the floor...

It was sunset by the time Rainbow made it to Sugarcube Corner. She hovered above the doorway to the Cakes’ residence, straps hanging down from the ring she was holding. She gave them one last whack to try and get out some of the moisture, but it was no good. She sighed and simply dropped them before taking off for her house at a healthy pace.

At home, Rainbow lay back on her bed, and ran a hoof down her belly, all the way to her tail, savoring the tingling feeling on the area she passed. Maybe she’d swipe some of Fluttershy’s silphium, and teach Spearswift something after all.
> Epilogue
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Ready to fill up my tin?” asked Mrs. Cake, wearing the outfit that somepony had dropped quietly outside Sugarcube Corner earlier this evening. Mr. and Mrs. Cake were spooning, in the hopes that they could put more buns in the oven tonight.
Mr. Cake answered by plunging in and rocking the spoon back and forth, filling up on batter. As he did so, he gazed over her shoulder at his wife’s form, covered with straps, and reflected on how good she smelled tonight.
She smelled like she did normally, in a way that reminded Mr. Cake of pungent honey and fermented aniseed, but tonight she also smelled fresh and young, almost scarily so, a little bit like the air after a lightning storm.
“Hnngh!” groaned Mr. Cake as he unloaded into his wife’s waiting tray.