> Living on a Prayer
>  by P-Berry
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> Prologue
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Have you ever had that feeling of complete, ultimate, utter happiness? Of a satisfaction that is so comprehensive and so intense it seems to flow right into you and through every single inch of your body, and the only thing you want to do is smile until your face rips apart and share your joy with the world by any means possible?

Well, I hadn't had that feeling. Not for a while at least. The days that lay behind me were dark, murky times, and I was yearning for things to be like they had once been.

Like when I had proposed to the girl of my dreams - or when I had taken the first step towards it, anyway.





It was an overcast, cold and rainy day in mid-February. I had called my employer early in the morning and taken the day off - neither my boss, nor my coworkers had been particularily happy about lacking a member of their team on the day before Valentine's Day (the number of people bombarding the store I was working in over the past days had been outrageous, and it certainly wouldn' t be any easier to handle without me) but I had things that needed to be taken care of.

Very, very important things.

It was around nine o'clock when I arrived at her workplace: a small flower shop in the outskirts of town, run by her and her two best friends - a shared childhood dream she and them had realized a few years ago, after she had gathered up some starting capital working as a dental assistant. Parking my car around a nearby corner and walking towards the entrance, I checked if her bicycle was parked in its usual place to make sure that she was there, and that everything was running smoothly so far.

Giving a short shudder and pulling my jacket a little tighter -the air was cold as it was; the strong wind and heavy rain didn't really help- I walked up to the entrance door, and stepped inside.

I was greeted by a warm breeze of air from a space heater standing next to the entrance, which was accompanied by ... I closed my eyes, taking in a deep breath ... flowers. That sweet, fresh, colorful scent flooded my nostrils like any other time when I entered a flower store, and brought a spontaneous smile onto my face. Ever since I had met her, I had been wondering how she had managed to keep that very special flower-y scent stuck to her body, even without any sort of deodorant or shampoo, but from the moment I had first set foot into her store, I had known.

This heavenly scent, the comparably warm air, and simply being out of the rain made me forget about the horrid weather outside, and caused me to smile. And my smile widened all the more as I walked towards the counter, and saw who -in between bushes of roses, tulips and sunflowers- was working on a magnificent boquet of white and red roses, humming a happy melody.

She was wearing a plain -and extremely comfy-looking- red sweater with a green apron over it, and a set of pants that once used to be plain white. A while ago I had asked her why she wouldn't settle with dark pants, as her work, given its flower-related nature, would cause her pants to get covered in stains sooner or later, but she, talented with simple arguing as she was, had simply said that she liked the colorful stains on her pants - they would give them a face, as she had said it.

Her back was facing me, and she hadn't heard me entering, being so absorbed in her work. I hesitated for a moment, looking past her and towards the store's backroom where a pink-coated mare, one of her friends and colleagues -Lilly, if I remembered correctly- having expected my arrival at about now and standing ready in the doorframe, gave me a confirming nod and a thumbs-up.

Everything was prepared.

Unable to contain a grin, I stepped towards the counter, making sure she would hear me, and waited for her to notice me and turn around. Her eyes widened, but before she could say something, I leapfrogged her.

"Oh," I said with a surprised, but pleased smile, looking around, "Nobody here? Guess that means I'm next."

Roseluck gave me a blank stare for a moment, then, realizing what I had referenced -the first words she had ever said to me-, couldn't hold back a short giggle, but then caught herself and raised an eyebrow. "What are you doing here?" she asked, pleasantly surprised, but still surprised, "Shouldn't you be at work?"

"Well, nice to see you too." I said with a mock frown, crossing my arms. "I called it a day earlier and was just on my way home. Thought I might pay you a visit first - it's only a small detour, after all."

"Well, that's nice of you, but..." she said with a slightly confused smile, "you work at the other end of the city. Coming here was more than just a small detour." seeming to count one and one together, she crossed her arms as well and raised an eyebrow at me, "What did you get into this time?"

"Nothing!" I hastily assured her, feeling my ears turn red. I was a terrible liar. "Can't I just visit you without any particular reason?"

"Sure you can." she said soberly, not releasing me from her stern look, "But I know you. And that's not what you would normally do." Her eyes narrowed, "Where is the poop?"

"There's no poop, really." I said once again, holding up my arms in defense, "I just wanted to see if you-"

"You don't have a Valentine's gift for me, do you?" she said with a sigh, rolling her eyes and dropping her arms, "For the last time, I told you I don't care about these things. I love you every day, and I won't change my mind because you didn't waste any money on petty gifts that land in the trash in a few weeks anyway." she said, repeating the same lecture she would give me every year on Valentine's Day.

"But that's not it." I affirmed her once again, "Promise."

"Then what is it?" she asked me agian, finally putting on an encouraging smile, "Come on, I'm sure it can't be that bad."

I hesitated, looking at her with begging eyes for a moment, but then gave a defeated sigh and dropped my shoulders. "Fine." I said, "You got me." I looked up, locking eyes with her and gaining a questioning "Hmm?"

"I ..." I hesitantly began, "I ... forgot my keys at home this morning. Again. I was wondering if I could have yours again."

She smirked, and her body relaxed. "Is that all?" she asked, noticeably relieved.

I gave a short nod, practicing my embarrassed, innocent dork-look. "Yeah. I know this isn't the first time, but I was hoping you could help me out again."

"Pfft, sure." she said with a casual flick of her hand, "And here I thought you had some serious confessions to make." she turned around, walking into a corner of the room where her jacket was resting on a chair, and I finally allowed the excited smile back on my face again, knowing what was to come. Everything was going according to plan.

"You know, you might wanna get a keychain or something." she said as she walked back into my direction, rummaging through her jacket's pockets. "If I would get one dollar for all the times you've asked me to..." she stopped, giving me a confused look, "What's with that smile on your face? You're beaming brighter than the sun."

"Dunno." I said with an innocent shrug, "I'm just happy to see the girl I love."

She tried to play it cool, but couldn't hide the blush on her face, which was joined by a sheepish smile shortly after. "Yeah, sure. You're a charmer, you know that?" she said, still searching for her keys in her jacket.  What she didn't know was that Lily had, at my request, taken them out earlier and replaced them with...

"What's that?" It cost me physical effort to not let out an -extremely un-manly- squeal of excitment as she pulled out the plain white envelope and eyed it, visibly confused. Looking at my contorted face, she cocked an eyebrow and asked, "Is that from you?"

Again, I tried my luck with playing the innocent and shrugged. "Maaaybe." I said, unable to hide my excitement, "Why don't you open it?"

She still seemed skeptical, but slowly began to open the envelope. "You know Valentine's Day is tomorrow, not today, right?"

I replied nothing, deciding to wait for her to open her gift instead. The envelope was open after a few seconds, and I could literally taste her confustion in the air as she pulled out the two pieces of paper.

"Tickets?" she asked, her confusion not vanishing. Then, however, she gave the mysterious tickets a closer look, and I felt reminded to a scene from Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory when her eyes spotted her name, today's date, the words 'Fiji Islands', 'Non-stop', and above all, 'FIRST CLASS' embedded in broad lettering in the top corner.

Like stunned, she held the ticket in her hands, her eyes wide with disbelief. Then she looked at me. Then back at the tickets. Then back at me again.

"No." she gasped with disbelief.

"Yes." I said with a curt nod, now not making an effort to hide my excitement.

Her eyes travelled back to the ticket in her hands, reading both, the date and the booking class again like mesmerized, then went back up to me. "You're kidding." she said dryly, "There's no way you- no."

"Yes!" I once again confirmed, holding out a hand for her, "Come on, we gotta get to the airport. We got a flight to catch."

Staring blankly at my outstretched hand, then back at my face, she said, "You ... you're kidding. You're kidding, right?"

Relishing the moment, I shook my head. "Nope." I said curtly, "I made sure you'll get two weeks off, booked us a hotel, and packed our things." With a wink at her, I added, "Now all that's missing is you."

She remained silent, blinking at me for a few seconds, then whispered, "Wow ... that's ... that's a surprise."

"I know, right?" I said with a smile.

"I ... I guess..." she muttered, then turned towards the back room behind her, "L-Lily, I think I ... I'll have to head out for a few days. Will you and Daisy take care of the store?"

Her colleauge came walking from the backroom, carrying a smile as well. "Sure can, Rose." she said, putting a hand on her shoulder, "Have fun, you two." Leaning towards her friend and giving her a conspiratorial grin, she added, "There's more to come, trust me." 

"T-thanks." Roseluck replied, still looking baffled, as she reached behind herself and untied her apron. Hanging it on a chair behind her, she turned towards me, and, disbelief written across her face, asked, "S-should we go?"

"Right behind you." I replied swiftly as I reached out for her hand, and gently pulled her from behind the counter and out of the front door, just in time to hear another cheerful "Bye! And have fun!" from her friend.

We stepped outside and were halfway to my car when Roseluck suddenly stopped, getting a confused look from me. Taking a look around to make sure that we were alone, she gave me a slightly amused smile. "Okay, she can't hear us anymore now." she said, crossing her arms again, "Now, what are we actually going to do?"

"We're going to fly to the Sandy Hills Luxury Resort and SPA, Fiji Islands." my undeterred reply came without hesitation, "We're on flight 290; take-off is in about five hours, we're seated in seats 1E and 1F - First Class."

"Okay, you can drop that now." Roseluck said, still not looking impressed. "I know you wanted to play whatever you have in mind up to impress my friends, but they're not here now." she explained soberly, "So what are we actually going to do?  Visit your mother? Is your grandma sick again? Or does she just want to see you because she's worried I'm 'not treating you properly' again?" As I didn't reply and just looked at her with a coy grin, she rolled her eyes. "But I'm telling you now, if whatever you're planning turns out to be just another dinner at a fast food joint, you'll sleep on the couch tonight."

"Don't worry about that." I said, smirking as I unlocked my car and opened the door for her, "I've heard fast food restaurants in Fiji are excellent!"

We mounted my car, and I showed her our packed suitcases in the backseats - she didn't believe me. I drove, past our town's fast food restaurant, towards the airport - she didn't believe me. I parked my car, we checked in, confirming the booking I had made a good half year ago, and got our boarding passes - she still didn't believe me.

It wasn't until a few minutes later when we were in the airport's First Class lounge, lounging in the big, soft, and incredibly comfortable leather sofa, next to each other, that she was oogling our boarding passes and suddenly looked up, turned towards me, and said, "You're serious about this."

"Sure am." I said, taking a sip from the complimentary cola - the staff had offered us champaign after we had sat down, but Roseluck didn't normally drink alcohol, and I wanted to keep a clear head for what was still to come.

"But ... but why?" she asked, her voice assuming a surprisingly high pitch as she sat up and turned towards me.

"Why not?" I asked, feeling once again reminded to this fateful day when we had first met. "I love you, and this seemed like a good way to show you just how much I do." I explained, then, after a short pause, added, "And I remember you telling me that you've been dreaming of a luxury vacation ever since you were a child." My grin grew a little wider as I pitched my voice a little higher, mimicking what she had told me a few years ago, "But not just any luxury vacation. The real deal, from A to Z - First Class flight, Five Star hotel, SPA, room service, all that. ... That'd be great." I said with a light chuckle.

"This ... this is just..." she stuttered, finally starting to understand, then let out a sigh, "Wow."

"Nah, it's no big deal." I put her off with a casual flick of my hand. "You know, I just wanted to-"

I was cut short as she had shot forward, flinging an arm around my neck and pulling me into a tight embrace, giving me a long, deep, passionate kiss.

My body remained stiff, needing a moment to understand what was going on, but then relaxed and gave in, enjoying every second of this moment.

"Thank you." she whispered as she finally broke the kiss, resting her head on my shoulder, then, after a moment, added, "I love you."

"I love you too." I replied, closing my eyes and giving in to the hug, enjoying every second of this embrace we shared.

This was, as far as I could remember, the happiest I had ever felt in my whole life, and I was sure, this happiness could only be beaten by one thing. One thing that was destined to take place only a day later, as the small ring box in my left pocket reminded me.
> Chapter 1
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My head shot up, even before my eyes could open.

Gasping for air, pressing my hand against my pounding heart, I looked around, instantly recognizing that very same room I had seen myself in mere seconds ago. My eyes widened in horror, and my look shot over to the bed behind me - that very same bed I had been in moments ago, doing the unspeakable to the girl I loved. Tormenting her, making her suffer, and worst of all: enjoying every second of it.

The relief I felt in the second I saw the bed empty; neatly made and without a tied-up Roseluck in it could not be put in words. Shaking my head and trying to get these ... these thoughts out of it, I raised my heavily shaking left hand, and promptly sank back into the chair I was sitting on, feeling relief wash over me as I saw the small silver ring on my fourth finger.

It had been a dream.

Just a dream.

Just a sick, disturbed, fucked-up dream.

"Shit..." I muttered, letting my head drop into my hand, "Shit shit shit. What is wrong with you?" I asked myself. To be fair, I had had messed-up dreams before. Very messed up dreams. But this one ... this one upstaged them all.

I looked at the bed, shivering as the after-images of my dream flashing past my mind's eye.

She had betrayed me - I could remember this much. Had left me standing in front of the altar on the day of our wedding to run off with her best friend Lily, caused me to fall into a deep, devastating depression, leading me to lose my job, my car, our home ... everything I had.

I had hit rock bottom, being broke, homeless, unemployed, and alone, with no perspective whatsoever.

And then, one day, after having one too many slugs of cheap booze, I had come back for revenge - I had broken into her home, knocked her down, tied her up and...

I shook my head, closing my eyes, and feeling sickness crawl up my throat.

I hated myself. Not only that dream-me that had done all these things to the girl I loved, but myself for allowing these things to enter my mind in the first place. I loved Roseluck; loved her more than anything else in this world. And even if things had turned out differently, I would have never ... I could have never...!

I swallowed, trying to clear my head. I needed to see her! I needed to see her with my own eyes to ensure myself that this had all just been a bad dream; that she was alright, and that ... my look fell back to the ring on my finger; that very same ring I had worn ever since this fateful evening on our hotel's balcony ... that she was still ready and willing to take this step with me.

As my head finally started to clear, and my mind brought up the pressing question of where I was, my look shot around the room. I was sitting in our bedroom at home, sat on a chair in front of a desk, right opposite to our bed. The door was closed and the shutters were down. 

"Rose?" I asked into the semi-darkness of the room, and gave a startled gasp as I felt something vibrating in my pants. Hastily pulling out my cellphone and unlocking it, I saw that I had eight missed calls and five text messages from my bride-to-be.

Wondering what might have caused her to want to reach me this urgently, I opened my phone's message center, and my look fell onto my body for the first time in the process.

"Shit."

My phone slipped out of my hand and fell to the floor with an ominous cracking-sound. 

I was dressed in black suit pants and a white button-up shirt, with a loose red tie around my neck. Single stains of saliva -amid other things that looked like they had once been in my stomach- were visible on my shirt and pants, and the black coat that would complete my suit was laying on the ground in front of me, crumpled-up like worn underwear.

Today was my wedding day.

And I was still at home.

And I had no idea what time it was or where my bride was or what I was supposed to do next.

My eyes went to the floor where my phone was laying in its individual parts - display, battery, mainboard, and everything else.

And I had just broken my phone, and had no means of making calls or generally getting in contact with my fiancée who, apparently, was dead-set on talking to me.

"Shit."

I felt a sudden pain shooting through me, noticing only now the head-bursting headache that had, ever since I woke up, been nothing but a dull ache in the back of my mind, but had now grown into a serious pain. This, along with the smell of dried sweat and alcohol surrounding me, and the fact that I couldn't remember a single thing from what had happened to cause me to fall asleep sitting on my chair, indicated that my bachelor party last night must have indeed been a full success.

That is, if success meant hangovers, loss of memory and traumatizing nightmares.

I gave an exasperated sigh, letting my head sink onto the desk in front of me.

However, before I could wallow in self-pity and longer, I heard a knocking on my door, and a familiar voice coming from the other side.

"Hey man, you in there?"

The voice of my best friend caused me to startle before replying with a gasped, "Y-yeah. Yeah, sure." I tried to get up, but my legs gave out beneath me. My vision swam, I fell over, found purchase on the desk, then finally managed to get to my shaky feet and walked over to the door. I opened it, reeled, and almost fell over again, being saved only by him placing two hands on both my shoulders and catching me.

"Whoa there." the blue-green buck said with a chuckle, helping me regain my balance, "You're not looking too good."

"Where is she?" I slurred, slowly lifting my head, still feeling lightheaded and nauseous, "I ... I need to talk to her."

"Who?" He asked me, raising an eyebrow.

"Rose! Roseluck!" I shouted back, my eyes widening in despair, "Where is she!?"

"Hey, calm down." he said indignantly, looking me in the eyes, "She's at the hairdresser with her friend Daisy, getting ready for the ceremony."

"I ... I need to talk to her! Right now!"

"What's wrong, man?" He asked me, giving me a genuinely concerned look, "I mean, you look like shit, but that's understandable. But why the sudden panic?" Giving me a -in my opinion truly inappropriate- grin, he asked, "Getting cold feet, huh?"

Rubbing my tired, aching eyes, too exhausted to act on his teasing, I shook my head and muttered, "N-no. I just ... I had this really fucked-up dream and ... I just need to know she's okay. That's all."

He mustered me for a moment, but seemed to believe me and gave me a curt nod. "Alright." he said, "But you can do so on the way. We're running a little short on time, and you dozing off here after being supposed to meet me an hour ago didn't really help our schedule."

"Ugh." I muttered, rubbing a hand against my aching head. "I'm sorry, I just ... I think I might have overdone it a little bit last night."

"Heh, you can say that again." He said with a chuckle, "I'll delete that video of you dancing on the table with that stripper later, promise." Before I could protest or even process what he had just said, he swiftly continued, "Now come on." he said, shoving me back into my bedroom and pushing me onto the bed where I fell onto my back and was just about to drift back to sleep again.

"Hey, don't you pass out on me!" he said with wide eyes, pulling me back into a sitting position at the corner of the bed. His eyes fell onto my coat laying at his feet. "Oh come on!" He said, giving me a reproachful look, "You wanna marry your girl in that thing?" he picked it up, dusting it off and examining the various stains on it; a disbelieving sigh followed shortly after. "Are you serious?" he asked me reproachfully, showing me the big tear that went from the jacket's bottom all the way up to the collar. "Damn..." he muttered, walking off into the small bathroom adjactent to our bedroom. "See if I can do something about that."

I leaned forward, feeling my eyes drift shut. Despite everything, I could feel a smile creep onto my face. That was Autum Leaf. My best friend ever since my childhood, and -given the recent events- my best man. And my self-appointed babysitter for today, seeing how getting dressed, getting to the church, and above all walking down the aisle and ever looking Roseluck in the eyes again after this nightmare seemed like a physical impossibility, given my current physical and mental condition.

Maybe, I thought, just maybe, I should have taken it a little slower last night. Or just stayed home. Or just not scheduled my bachelor party to be in the night before my wedding. Damn my friends and their tight schedules.

"Phew." Autum Leaf said, coming walking the bathroom and carrying a small spray can in his hand. "Here." he said, tossing me the deodorant, "Hop in the shower, then take some of that. You'll be back on your feet again in no time."

Being incredibly hungover and still half-asleep, it was little surprising that I completely failed catching the can, and it hit me right into my face. "Shit." I cussed, leaning forward to pick up the fallen can and holding my other, free hand against the spot where it had hit me.

"Ah crap." I could hear Autumn sigh as I got back up again; the pain in my cheekbone didn't seem to vanish.

"What?" I asked, but silenced as I saw my hand. I was bleeding. "Damnit." I looked up at him with a half-angry face, "Are you for real? It's my wetting day and you're launching spray cans at me!?"

"Sorry bro..." He said with an apologetic smile and walked back into the bathroom, "I'll go get you some band-aid."

"Screw you..." I muttered in a half-serious tone, pressing my hand against the bleeding spot on my cheek. If this was supposed to be my wedding day, the happiest day of my whole life, then there sure was some more room for improvement.
> Chapter 2
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Several minutes later, I was sitting in the passenger seat of my best friend's car, leaning my head against the window. The patch he had provided me with had stopped the bleeding on my cheek quickly, but, given the fact that it was in the middle of my forehead, looked far from stylish.

I did feel refreshed, however, having taken a quick shower at home, swallowed an aspirin and put on some new clothes before we had left. My wedding suit, which -for whatever crazy reason- I had decided to put on the night before was, according to Autumn Leaf, unwearable, so I had stuck with a simple casual outfit and ditched my suit onto the backseat, promising Autum Leaf to take care of it later - somehow.

How I was supposed to marry in blue jeans and a black hoodie was beyond me, however.

Not that I cared too much in this moment, really. My hangover did a great job at keeping my mind busy just by forcing me to focus in order not to vomit. And what little mental capacity was left was quickly filled with flashback images of what I had dreamt earlier...

A shudder ran through my spine and I shook my head, looking up at the scenery passing by outside, then -in a sudden fit of motion sickness- lowering my eyes again where my look fell onto my hand - and on the ring on it.

"I ... I need to see her." I muttered, struggling to hold on to that thought and not lose it in the chaos that was my mind. "Hey, Autum." I said, looking up to my friend sitting next to me, "Seriously, I ... I need to see Roseluck." Remembering my phone, before I had dropped it, I added, "She's called me a dozen times this morning. I think she wants to talk to me."

"I can imagine." Autum Leaf replied with a thin smile, "I met her when I was on my way to you earlier. She said there was something really, really important she needed to tell you, but you, being the -and I quote- drunk, mindless dork that you were, wouldn't listen to her." He explained, unable to hold back a grin, "Didn't she reach you?"

"She tried!" I exclaimed; this unexpected revelation didn't really help me to calm down, "But I didn't hear my phone, and by the time I wanted to call her back, I dropped my phone and broke it." I explained him my predicament, "So now I can't reach her."

Autum Leaf eyed me with a glance that betrayed a touch of pity for a moment, but then shrugged. "Well, tough break. Guess you'll just have to wait till you see her in church later."

"But I can't wait this long!" I said desperately, "Can't I just call her with your phone? She's called me eight times, so it must be important to her!"

"Sure you can." Autum replied casusally, not looking away from the road ahead of us. "Go right ahead."

I looked at him in silence for a moment, confused that he made no move. "Well..." I finally spoke up, "Won't you give it to me?"

"Oh?" he said, turning to face me, "But I already did! Yesterday night, in fact." As I just looked at him in silent confusion, he elaborated, "At around two in the morning, you wanted to call your 'Rosie Baby', and your battery was dead, so I gave you my phone." he explained, sounding perilously sober, "Since you haven't given it back since then, I was assuming that you still have it. Isn't that so?" he asked with a stern glance.

My eyes remained on him for another moment, processing what he had just said, then I sighed, dropping my head. "You gotta be kidding me." I muttered, rubbing my tired eyes.

"Afraid not." He said, shaking his head. "I'm not gonna hate you for losing it, since it was pretty old and I wanted to get a new one anyway. Besides, we've all fucked things up while we were drunk, but I'm afraid I can't help you with a phone right now."

"Damnit." I cussed, running my hand over my face, "What am I supposed to do now?"

"Well, I suggest you just wait a little longer." Autum Leaf said soberly, "Remember, you do have an appointment with her later on." he said with a wink.

"But what if that's exactly it?" I asked him with wide eyes, "What if ... what if whatever she needs to tell me is ... somehow related to that?" Remembering what had happened in my dream, I hesitantly added, "What if she wants to blow the whole thing off?"

"Pfft, don't be stupid." he said with a flick of his hand, "Sure, she was a little miffed that you were still half-comatose this morning, but she sure as heck seemed just as sure about this as you."

I remained silent, closing my eyes and leaning my head against the window again, my mind conjuring up images of all the ways this could go wrong.

However, my mind and face both lightened up as another idea came to my head. "Wait!" I said, "You said she's with her friends right now, didn't you? Take me to them!"

"Sorry, but no can do." Autumn replied dryly, shaking his head.

"But why!?" I asked, nearing the end of my patience.

"Hey, she's your bride to be." he said teasingly, "You should know better than me why you can't see her right now - it's your wedding day, remember?"

"What are you-" I was about to ask, but then cut myself off, dropping my head into my hand, "Oh crap."

"Uh-huh." my friend replied curtly, then, looking at me, added, "Hey, it's not my fault she's so old-fashioned and won't let you see her before the ceremony."

"But what if we just-"

"Nope." he cut me off, even before I could make my suggestion, "You know her, and you know her friends. Even if we would just stop by and pay them a visit, they wouldn't let you near her. That's one of the requests she made while we planned this whole thing, remember?"

Feeling my shoulders sink, I let my head drop against the window again, feeling what little poise I had left fade away. "Shit..." I muttered with a long sigh.

"Hey, chin up." Autum said, patting my shoulder. "I know how you feel. I've been there too a year ago, remember?" He asked, lifting his hand and showing me the golden ring around his finger.

Of course. Of course he had been there. He was already way ahead of me in this aspect - he had found the love of his life -a girl called Lemon Hearts; a mutual childhood friend of ours- had proposed to her, had married her, and now the two were even expecting a baby.

Yes, he had, by my definiton, made it in almost all aspects of life.

Now if only the same could be said about me. I had a pathetic job as an underpaid grocery clerk, had a fiancée that was way too good for me, and had an upcoming wedding that was on the rocks. Heck, as far as I was concerned, my entire life was on the rocks at this point.

"Yeah..." I muttered absentmindedly, looking at his ringed finger, "Yeah, you're ... you're perfect. Everything about you is perfect."

"That's not what I meant!" Autum said, rolling his eyes, "Look, if you're so desperate about talking to her, how about we find you a payphone? You do remember her number, right?"

I looked at him in silence for a long moment, then gave a muffled, "Mm-hmm."

"Good." He said with a nod. "See? There's one over there!" he pointed a finger past me, towards a single phone hanging on a wall on a house up ahead. "So there's no need to mope, you hear?"





"She doesn't answer." I replied curtly as I opened the door and let myself drop onto the passenger seat, letting out an exasperated sigh. "I've tried four times, but she won't pick up." Feeling my arms going limp, I closed the door and let my head sink against the window again. The short walk from the curbside to the payphone and back had cost me more power than I was willing to admit.

"She probably just has her phone shut off." Autum Leaf explained calmly, trying to cheer me up.

Slowly, I lifted my head and turned to face him with the most un-impressed glare I could muster. "Sure." I grumbled, "'cause that's what you would do when you wait for someone to call you back. You turn your phone off." I shook my head, "Let's face it: she wants to blow the whole wedding off. She doesn't love me; she doesn't want to marry me. Hell, she probably hates me, anyway. ... Not like I can blame her."

"Quit talking shit, dude!" Autumn cut me off, sounding legitimately angry now, "I don't know what's gotten into you, but quit saying things like that!"

I sighed, letting my head drop against the headrest and closing my eyes.

"Come on." Autumn started another attempt, giving me an encouraging smile, "I know you're nervous, but trust me, in a year you'll think back to this day as the best day of your whole life."

I let out a grunt. "Yeah, I'll think of this day as the day my bride to be has left me standing in front of the altar and left me for her best friend." I muttered dryly.

"What?" Autumn Leaf asked with a bewildered grin, "How did you get that idea?"

"Long story." I said, not looking up, "I'd rather not talk about it."

"Your call." He said with a shrug, "But now chin up, we'll get you through this, promise."

"Whatever." I mumbled, not bothering to hide my lack of enthusiasm. "Where are we going, anway?"

"What do you think?" his reply came after a second, "Don't remember our plan from yesterday night?"

I let out a sigh, giving him a look that, I hoped, would explain him that I didn't remember a single thing from that night, aside from drinking too much.

"You know how we wanted to slacken off today before the ceromony and take things slow?" He asked, grinning at me.

I nodded numbly.

"Well, you wanted to screw that and instead go to a strip club to 'inspect the goods'." He said with a chuckle, "And since it's your wedding day and you're the boss, that's what we're going to do."

"You can't be serious." I grumbled, letting my head drop against the window pane.

He replied with another chuckle, pulling over and stopping at the side of the road. "Sure am."

"Well screw you then!" I hissed back, "It's my wedding day, I'm feeling like shit and looking even worse. I am not going to spend the last hours of my single life in a strip club!"

"Trust me." He said with a wink, opening the door and getting outside, "I'm sure you'll like it."

I gave another long, exhausted sigh. I didn't want to get out of this car. I really didn't. I wanted to talk to Roseluck; even better, see her, and make sure everything was okay with her. I wanted to talk to her and know what it was she had been so dead-set on telling me. Was she just nervous like me? Or was there something more important she wanted to tell me? Something like ... like...

My thoughts got interrupted as the door next to me got torn open and Autum Leaf leaned inside. "Come on, slowpoke." He urged, grabbing me by my arm and making me get out as well, "I have a surprise for you. I'm sure you'll like it."

"Dear god..."I muttered, closing my eyes as my best friend shoved me forward and into an inconspicious-looking building by the side of the road, "Please, just let me die."
> Chapter 3
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Hello Autum, dear, what a pleasure to see you!" The surprisingly young, pink-coated mare standing behind the counter greeted us with a smile as we stepped inside the small entrance room. Given the fact that it was rather dusky inside; that the air was hot and felt heavy and hard to breathe, and the whole place had a rather shifty atmosphere to it, I had no doubts that Autum Leaf had stuck to his word and taken me to a strip club. And given the fact that it was Sunday morning, I had a rough idea of what would await me inside.

"Hey Aloe," Autumn casually greeted her back with a nod of his head, "How are things going?"

"Great! Just great, darling." Aloe replied with an exuberantly friendly smile, "Would you like the usual?"

Grimacing, I turned my face towards my friend, wanting to remind him that he was a married man, and this probably wasn't one of the places where his wife liked seeing him go.

However, before I could say anything, Autum shook his head. "No thanks, I'm in a bit of a hurry." he explained, "I just wanted to drop my friend here off." he said, nodding his head into my direction, "As you can see, he's in dire need of your ..." he gave a short cough, "services."

"What!?" I interrupted, feeling my face turn red, "I'm getting married in a few hours! If there's one thing I don't need, it's being unfaithful to my fiancée with some..." I looked at the girl who was eyeing me curiously, then bit my lip and forgot what I was about to say, not wanting to be too rude, "Random girl. No thanks." I affirmed, shaking my head to drive home the point.

"Don't be such a wuss." Autum said with a grin, grabbing me by my arm as I was about to turn around and leave, "Trust me, you'll thank me for this later."

"Oh, I see what you mean." Aloe now concluded, slowly nodding her head, "He seems to be very ... tensed up. But I'm sure we have just the remedy for this."

Again, I shook my head. "No. No damn way am I going to do this. Yes, there's a lot of things hanging in the balance right now, but whatever happens, I still love my girlfriend."

Autum Leaf gave a short chuckle, placing a hand on my shoulder, "You still believe that whole strip-club-thing, don't you?" As I just replied with a confused nod, he patted my shoulder again, "Don't worry about that. You know I'd never let you do something that could endanger your relationship." He declared with a serious look, "So don't worry, this isn't a strip club."

"A strip club?" Aloe asked with wide eyes, but then gave me a mischievous grin, "My my, your friend sure has some dirty thoughts, doesn't he?"

Once again, I could feel myself blush, looking to the side. "What is it then?" I asked weakly.

"Oh you'll see, dear." Aloe replied, stepping from behind the conter and walking towards me, "I can tell you're nervous, but we'll get you to relax soon enough, I promise."

Apparently seeing that I was taken care of, Autum shot me a sly grin, then raised his hand. "Alright, I should head out. I still have few things to take care of."

"Wait, where are you going?" I asked in surprise as Aloe grabbed me by my hand and gently pulled me through a milk glass door next to the counter.

"Got a few things left to handle before things get serious." He said with a casual wink, "I'll be back to pick you up in an hour. Enjoy."

He was just about to step out the door, but stopped again and turned around, casting a serious look at the girl next to me. "And Aloe..." He said, his voice surprisingly stern, "That part about him getting married was serious. So no funny business, alright?"

"Of course not, dear." Aloe giggled with a flick of her hand, "Many of our customers are married, and a lot of them have been here with their wives as well, and there never was any problem." she closed her eyes, tilting her head to the side with a smile, "So don't worry."

"Okay then." Autum said, his face looking much more relieved. "I'll see you two in an hour, then."

And with that, he was out of the door, and gone.

"Okay dear." Aloe said, giving me another friendly smile, "Come right with me, please. We will begin your treatment shortly."

I followed her, ableit hesitantly, still not entirely sure about this whole thing. "I, uh..." I muttered as we stepped through the door, "I really don't think I should-"

I fell silent as we passed the door and entered the room behind the reception. "Oh." I said, my tension disappearing in an instant, "This really isn't a strip club."

What greeted my eyes was a simple, but colorful and big room filled with whirlpools, a big hot tub and various truly comfortable-looking steamer chairs.

"Of course not, dear." Aloe giggled again, leading me past the chairs to a small chamber separated from the rest of the room by a thick curtain. "Here," she said, making an inviting gesture towards the small compartment, "Please get changed and have a seat on one of the chairs when you're done. One of my colleagues will be with you shortly."

"Changed into what?" I couldn't help but ask, raising an eyebrow, but Aloe just pointed towards a small shelf standing next to the changing booth, which was filled with fresh-looking white towels and blue plastic slippers. "Oh."

Still not sure what to make of all this, or where Autumn Leaf went and why he had left me alone here, I hesitantly took a step towards the booth, accompanied by the friendly looks of Aloe. "Feel free to leave your clothes and belongings in the booth, one of my colleagues will come to pick them up and return them to you as you leave." she explained with a smile, then focused me, "Now, is there anything else you would like to know?"

I hesitated, but then slowly shook my head. There really wasn't. At least not anything she could answer me.

"Very well then." she said, taking a polite bow, "Welcome to the Ponyville Day Spa. Enjoy your stay."

Minutes later, I was laying on one of the steamer chairs situated around the room's central hot tub, dressed in nothing but one of the white towels provided by the spa.

I had given up trying to understand what was going on. That is to say, I couldn't understand, even if I wanted to. I had reached a point where things had gotten so messed-up and chaotic that it seemed the only thing left to do was grin, sit back and accept whatever fate the universe held in store for me - there wasn't much else I could do, really.

I found it amazing how having the ground pulled from underneath your feet makes you realize just how small, meaningless and unimportant a single person can be.

And how little relaxation ten hours of sleep can yield if they were filled with alcohol, chaos and serious nightmares.

Given the integrity of things, it should be clear that the last night hadn't been too recovering for either my mind or body, and I was starting to feel the effects. The incredibly comfy chair might have played a role in it, but only a few moments after I had taken a seat, I could feel tiredness washing over me. By the time I noticed what was happening it was too late, and I could only stand by and watch as my mind trailed off and my eyes slowly drifted shut.
> Chapter 4
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

For the second time that day, I awoke with a gasp as I felt the touch of two soft hands on my shoulders. Bathed in sweat and breathing heavily, I opened my eyes, hastily looking around.

I was at the spa.

It had been just a dream.

A dream that had been even more weird, disturbing and messed-up than the one I had had last night.

"Your treatment is ready, my dear." I could hear the soft voice of Aloe coming to my ears from behind me, and let out an intense sigh of relief. "Come with me, please."

Thank god it was just a dream. And thank god she had woken me up. Who knows what other messed-up things might have happened if she hadn't.

"S-sure." I gasped, shuddering as I got up.

I hated myself - I said that before, but I hated myself even more now. Why? How? Which sick, disturbed, messed-up part of my mind came up with these ideas? Oh the things I had done to her ... god have mercy on my pathetic soul.

"You really should see a psychologist once this whole thing is over." I said to myself as I silently followed Aloe to a small compartment of the big main room, separated by a light blue room divider, with various massage tables in it. Too absorbed in what I had just watch myself do to my future wife -even if it had been just a dream- I lay down on one of the tables in front of which Aloe had just stopped without her having to say anything.

I could feel another wave of sickness form in the back of my throat as the images in my head slowly started to fade, and had to swallow in fear of having to vomit.

I really, really didn't want to do any of this. I didn't know what was happening; I didn't know what was wrong with me; I didn't know what would happen when I would face Roseluck later on. All I knew was that I wanted it to stop. I wanted it all to be over, not in a day, not in a few hours, but right now! I couldn't take this anymore. My mind was drowning in chaos, my head was pounding, it was getting harder to keep my eyes open with every second that passed, but I knew that closing my eyes meant running the risk of falling asleep again and going through another one of these nightmares. And I was sure this one would beat its predecessors in messed-up-ness by a long shot.

I swallowed, slowly lowering my head against the massage table's soft headrest as Aloe carefully worked her hands on my tensed-up body.

While my head was still in distress mode from my most recent nightmare, and I didn't even try to understand everything that was wrong with my mind for making up these things, I had to admit that Aloe did know her business - the soft touch of her hands on my back was balm for my body and soul, and I had a hard time not letting out a relieved sigh as I felt my tensed muscles relax from her hands.

I closed my eyes, feeling bliss wash over me for the first time since I woke up this morning...

And promptly felt myself blush - it seemed like I wasn't the only one enjoying the treatment from the truly talented masseuse, as a soft but noticeable pressure against the table coming from my nether region confirmed.

Feeling my face turn red up to my ears, I clenched my teeth shut, hissing a curse under my breath.

"Really?" I asked myself, my eyes springing open, "You're about to marry the love of your life, and now you're popping a boner from something like this?" I turned my head to the side, trying to suppress my arousal, and hoping that Aloe wouldn't notice any of it.

As a few minutes passed, and the would-be tent in my hypothetical pants still hadn't vanished, fueled by Aloe softly digging her oiled-up hands into my back, I came to the conclusion that there was no way I could endure this any longer. The guilt of feeling these things while being touched by someone other than Roseluck was too big.

I opened my mouth, wanting to kindly ask her to stop the treatment, but couldn't get myself to do so. As much as I hated myself for it, getting massaged by these angelic hands felt too good to actively asked her to stop.

So instead, I decided to do the next best thing to make all this less awkward for me: I closed my eyes again, and imagined that it was Roseluck massaging my back.

And it worked, at least to some extent. Imagining that it was my bride-to-be caressing my backside, I did feel a lot less embarrassed about my body's reaction to it.

"So my dear, tell me, what brings you here today?"

That is, until Aloe decided to break the silence after saying nothing and just humming the occasional tune every now and then. Her voice had a rather soothing tone to it, and I couldn't deny that her slav accent sounded cute, but her talking made my illusion of having Roseluck stand above me shatter like a mirror.

"Ugh..." I sighed, trying not to sound too rude, as she was obviously just trying to be friendly and start some polite conversation. "Autumn." I replied curtly, "He kinda just ... dropped me off here without telling me why."

"Oh I can tell you why." Aloe replied smoothly, "You are so tensed up, your back feels like a wooden board."

"You don't say..." I muttered under my breath, not loud enough for her to hear.

A short moment of silence passed, then she spoke up again. "So I've heard you're getting married today?"

I gave a curt nod. "Yeah. I hope so, anyway."

"Nervous?" the question came, like the most normal thing in the world.

Again, I nodded. "You bet." I gave a short sigh, remembering what Roseluck had implied towards Autumn Leaf earlier this day, and that it was almost exactly what she had said to me in my dream, shortly before confessing that she could never love me. "At this point, I'm not even sure if my bride still wants to marry me anyway."

"Why is that?" Aloe asked, sounding genuinely confused, "Did you two have a fight?"

"N-no." I said after a moment of silence, "It's a long story, and-"

"We have time." Aloe replied casually, cutting me off.

"I'd rather not talk about it." I finished undeterred a second later.

"Oh," Aloe said, sounding mildly disappointed, "Well, this is your choice." She paused for a moment, and her hands stopped moving, "Even though talking about it might help you."

I remained silent, letting out another long sigh.

"There's not much to talk about, really." I said after a long moment of silence, and suppressed a sigh of relief as Aloe's hands finally started moving again. "I had a pretty bad dream where she left me for a friend, and now I'm afraid she might leave me for real."

"Really?" Aloe asked, and I could hear her holding back a laugh, "Is that all? This is the reason why you are so tense?"

"Yeah..." I muttered numbly. It did sound quite petty when she said it like this. "I know it must sound weird to you, but it's a lot more than it sounds like - at least for me." I admitted truthfully, "That dream has really messed me up, and now there's something my bride to be needs to tell me, and I'm afraid that-"

I cut myself off, feeling that lump returning to my throat. "It's complicated."

"I see..." Aloe replied thoughtfully, resuming her work on my back, "If you don't mind, dear, I would like to hear what it was that you dreamt. Is that okay?"

I hesitated, taking in a deep breath. I really didn't want to recall what had gone through my head minutes ago - I was ashamed for it, and just thinking back to it brought me serious discomfort.

However,  at the same time, Aloe seemed trustworthy enough, and as ridiculous as it may sound, hearing her opinion on the subject might just end up helping me after all.

So I took a deep breath ... and told her. I told her everything: from the day I surprised Roseluck with our vacation, proposing to her, her actual reaction, and of course, my messed-up dream scenario in which she had refused me, I had turned into a psychopath and ... done things to her.

As it turned out, Aloe was just a good listener as she was a masseuse - she listened to everything I had to say, all the while continuing her angelic work on my shoulder blades.

And as I was done, ending with the dream I had had just before she had woken me earlier, she had said nothing. For almost a whole minute, she had remained silent, just continuously pressing her hands into my back and seeming to knead the stress right out of my bones.

"I see..." she finally said after a long period of silence, "I see..."

"Yeah." I replied sullenly. "This is where I'm at right now. Honestly, all I want to do is talk to her; tell her about this ... this fucked-up dream and have her tell me that it was just a dream. Hear it from her, so that I can know for sure that I'd never do something like this." I sighed, "And of course, there's this whole thing with her needing to tell me something extremely important. And I'm sure she wouldn't make such a fuss about it if all she wants to say is that she loves me."

"Probably not, no." Aloe commented, not adding to my mood.

"So the most obvious conclusion is that she wants to blow the wedding off, for one reason or another. And I probably won't get a chance to talk to her before the ceremony, so whatever she wants to tell me will have to wait until then. That is ..." I let out a heavy sigh, "If she's going to show up, anyway."

"Hmm..." Aloe replied thoughtfully, "Tell me more about your bride ... Roseluck. What is she like?"

"Oh, she..." I felt an unwitting smile form on my face, "She's amazing. I can't even describe it, but she's just..." I let out a sigh, my mouth failing to turn the thoughts in my head into words, "She's amazing. Everything she does is amazing. I can't even begin to describe how beautiful she is, and every second I can spend with her feels like a gift from the heavens. ... Really, she's too good for me. She's too good for this whole world."

Another, heavier sigh escaped my lips, and the smile vanished from my face, making way for a frown. "And now ... now I might lose her forever. If what she wants to tell me really is what I think it is, she'll never be able to love me like I love her. And that..." I could feel my throat getting tight, "Hurts more than anything I've ever felt before."

"Mhmm..." Aloe said with an emphatic, sensitive voice, "I can see why you are this stressed out. But may I ask you something?"

Slightly surprised, I gave a short nod, "Yeah, sure. What is it?"

"I don't know either of you two too well, but..." she began carefully, "How long have you two been together?"

"Four years." I replied without having to think about it, "It'll be four years on the fifteenth of August this year."

"And ... has she ever given you the impression that she was unhappy?" Aloe probed sensitively, "With either you or your relationship?"

That caused me to pause and reflect for a moment. Yes, I had had my doubts about our relationship - though most of the time only because I felt that she was too good for me, and I didn't deserve someone like her. But she ... she had always seemed genuinely happy with us. And I knew from several occasions that she was neither a good actor, nor a good liar.

Besides, if she would have not been happy with our relationship, she could have easily just broken up with me and found someone else - child's play for someone like her, really.

With all that in mind, and with the fact that she had not only stayed with me for almost four years by now, but also accepted my proposal to marry her and thus tie us to each other for the rest of our lives on top did speak for itself.

So my ultimate reply was a surprisingly decisive, "No. She always seemed quite happy with me, if I may say so."

"Okay." Aloe replied, giving a short nod. "And, if you don't mind me asking..." she started over, but hesitated, "How have you two been performing ... in bed? Any problems? Tensions?"

I could feel my heart speed up, and looked to the side. "W-why would you ask that?"

"Oh, you wouldn't believe how important good sex is for a working relationship. I've heard of so many couples breaking up because they had problems in bed." Aloe explained casually, not seeming affcted at all by this normally rather touchy subject. "So? Do you think you might have any problems in this aspect?"

I closed my eyes, biting my lip, not sure whether or not I should tell her. "N-no." I finally muttered, feeling my face turn red up to my ears, "We ... we never ... actually ... did it. Not yet, at least."

"What?" Aloe asked surprised, her voice reaching a rather high pitch, "Why is that?"

Again, I remained silent for a moment, hesitant to share such intimate details with essentially a stranger, but in the end decided to say it anyway. "It might be hard to believe," I replied, "But as open-minded, joyful and easy-going Roseluck is, she does have some ... old-fashioned quirks to her, especially when it comes to partnerships. One of them being that she abstains from unmarried sex."

"So you haven't...?"

"Nope."

"Not even once?"

"Nope."

"And she was fine with it?"

"She was the one asking for it." I replied nonchalantly, "That is, she requested that we would wait until we're married. She didn't name any particular reason though - guess it really is just a little quirk. She seemed a little embarrassed about it at first, but said it would be all the better once the time has finally come."

"And you agreed?" Aloe asked, curious, but not surprised.

"How could I not?" I asked back, "Sure, I was skeptical at first, but when I saw how important it really was to her, I stopped trying to talk her out of it. And I don't feel like that has influenced our relationship one bit."

"Hmm..." Aloe said, again falling silent. "Interesting."

"But that really doesn't change anything about the matter at hand." I said, feeling reality overwhelm me again.

I could literally hear Aloe raise an eyebrow at me. "Why not?" she asked, "From what you told me, it doesn't seem like there's anything you need to be worried about."

"You did listen to what I said earlier, right?" I asked, feeling unreasonably aggrivated, "She said there's something really important she needs to tell me, and unless she just wanted to ask me what shoes to wear today, the only possibility I see is that she wants to call it off for some reason."

A sigh came from Aloe behind me, indicating that she, too, was running short on patience. "Okay." she said after a moment, "Let's assume that, for whatever reason, she doesn't want to marry you anymore," she paused for effect, and I could feel her stern look on my back, "What do you have from laying here and worrying about it?"

I cocked an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"

"I am saying that, if she should break up with you for some reason, there's nothing you can do about it now, is there?" she explained.

"And what am I supposed to do?" I asked, slightly agitated, "If she does that, that whole issue is over and done with anyway."

"Exactly." Aloe replied, seeming happy that I finally seemed to understand her, "You need to stop thinking these things. Relax, and bring some positive thoughts in your mind, my dear. The worst thing you can do right now is preoccupy yourself with things you can't change anyway."

I gave a dry grunt. "Yeah, positive thoughts my ass. Even if I wanted to, how can I relax with all that up ahead?" I closed my eyes, feeling overwhelmed by the integrity of things. My mind felt like it was about to collapse into a heap of rubble. "God, this is too much. I can't do this!"

Again, Aloe remained silent for a moment, seeming to contemplate what to say next. Then, placing both her hands on either of my shoulders, she said, "You know, there is something I wanted to try, for a while now. A new technique I have learned from a friend a few months ago. It's hard to get right, and not entirely harmless, but I'm sure it can make you feel better, even in your current state."

I hesitated. I most certainly wasn't what one would call a xenophobe, but trying something 'not entirely harmless' when I wasn't feeling well to begin with just didn't seem like such a good idea.

"I don't know..." I replied hesitantly, "Feeling better would be great, but..."

"Great!" I heard Aloe say with a delighted voice, and the next thing I felt was her placing a hand on my right shoulder, pressing it into my skin, then pressing a finger into a spot right at the bottom end of my neck and...

My face contorted to an unnatural grimace. My vision went white, and I could feel an electric jolt shoot through my whole body. My fingers began to twitch, I gave a sudden gasp and my eyes slammed shut.

Only a second later, it was over. I was feeling more relaxed than ever, as if every muscle in my body had gone limp. My breathing was soft, my heart rate was calm, and all I could feel was the touch of two hands on my back. But these weren't the soft, experienced hands of Aloe; these hands were a little rougher; marked from many years of gardening and working with barbed flowers, yet their touch was soft as ever.

"You still are so tense..." I could hear a voice coming from above me. Not the cute slav-accented voice of Aloe; this voice sounded familar; way more familiar, "Is there anything on your mind?"

"You tell me." I replied dryly, knowing without looking up who was standing above me and massaging my shoulders, "If there's anyone who knows what's on my mind, it should be you. After all..." I opened my eyes, turning my head and looking up into her beautiful green eyes, "You're the reason why I'm here."

Roseluck smirked dryly, her look focused on my shoulders. "No." she said briefly, "You are the reason why you're here. You're the one who's almost driving himself crazy with his own thoughts."

"And you're the reason for it!" I said accusingly, feeling frustration rise up within me, "Why do you have to put me on the rack like this? If there's something you need to tell me, do me a favor and just get it over with!"

Again, the beautiful mare smirked, all the while continuing to knead the skin on my back. "I wish I could. I really do." she said, sounding indeed regretful, "But I'm not Roseluck." as I just cocked an eyebrow at her, she elaborated, "In case you haven't noticed, sherlock, this is all just a dream. You are still laying passed out in the Spa, and I am just a picture of your imagination that looks like her." she paused for a second, locking eyes with me, "In a way, I'm you, and when it comes to Roseluck, I know just as much about her as you." she exlplained me calmly, soberly.

I let out a long sigh, turning my head back and allowing my eyes to drift shut again. "It was worth a try, wasn't it?" I said after a moment, "But I guess getting this whole thing figured out right here would have just been too easy. Instead I'm left laying passed out on a massage table and talking to myself." I dropped my head, "Could this day get any worse?"

"Sure it could." Roseluck said casually, "You know, you could easily turn this dream into a nightmare. You're the one holding the reins here, after all." I didn't look up, but just from the sound of her voice I could tell that she was grinning at me. "Just say the word and we'll be back in our bedroom again, with me firmly tied up and completely at your mercy." she paused her massaging, bringing her mouth right next to my ear and whispering, "Wouldn't you like that, sweetie?"

"No I wouldn't!" I said decisively, feeling my body tense up again, "Cut that crap out, you know I'd never do anything like that!"

She gave a soft giggle, and even though I knew that it was just an illusion in my head, I couldn't help but smile from that heavenly sound. "Don't worry, darling, I'm just playing with you."

"I could tell." I replied dryly, the smile vanishing from my face in an instant, "Can't I just wake up and get this whole wedding-thing over with? Get rejected by her and let it be over with?"

Roseluck's hands stopped moving completely, as she seemed to contemplate something. Then, after a moment of silence, she asked, "What makes you think that she'd reject you?"

"I don't know, just ... everything! This whole day has been a textbook example of a mess, and she leaving me standing in front of the altar would just be the perfect cherry on top." I explained, getting increasingly frustrated, "And the fact that she's been meaning to tell me something extremely important doesn't really bode well, now does it? Whatever it is, good news almost never qualify as 'extremely important'."

"That's not up to me to decide, is it?" she replied soberly, but then, seeming to sense my frustration, continued, "But if talking about it won't make it any better for you, why don't we just change the subject to something more pleasant? Remember, you're the one in charge."

"And what would that be?" I asked soberly, not expecting too much from this daydream, epiphany, or whatever it was.

"That's up you you." she explained smugly, "It could be anything, really. A scenario in which you rule the world, a daydream where you can fly, or just a nice memory."

I let that sink in for a moment, then sighed  and closed my eyes again, trying not to think too much about how weird this whole thing felt.

There was, however, a memory of me and Roseluck which I would never forget, and a memory I would gladly recall anytime, no matter what would happen.


***


It was Valentine's Day. The sun hung low over the horizon; the magnificent pacific sunset bathing the land in golden light.

We were sitting on the balcony of our Luxury Hotel room, enjoying the magnificent view - the room itself had cost me a small fortune, and the surcharge for a room with ocean view had hurt my wallet more than I had been willing to admit, but in this moment, it all seemed so unimportant.

My look went over to her - she was wearing a magnificent, light red summer dress; her hair, still unkempt from swimming in the ocean earlier, hung loosely down the side of her head, and her eyes, seemingly lost in thought, were aimlessly looking at the sunset in front of us. The hotel was relatively empty; most of our fellow guests seemed to be out having dinner, as not a single voice could be heard, safe for the soft rushing of the waves hitting the beach a few stories below our feet.

Letting out what must have been the most content sigh of my whole life, I reached out for her hand, and held it in mine. She gladly let it happen, seeming just as carefree and happy as me.

"You know..." I decided to break the silence after a few moments, feeling my heart rate increase abrubtly, knowing that now was the time. "I know it sounds cheesy, but ..." I paused, looking over to her again and locking my eyes with her beautiful green irises, "There's no place I'd rather be."

She smiled, and just like so often, I could feel my heart getting a little lighter, even if it was beating with the frequency of a stroboscope.

"Me too." she said, her voice soft as velvet. She closed her eyes, taking in a breath of the mild evening air. "Everything ... everything is just ... perfect."

I let a hand into my pocket, closing it around the little black box I had kept safe for almost a year by now. Feeling my lips begin to tremble, I slowly pulled it out, but still kept my hand closed around it and didn't show it to her just yet.

"Now it's now or never." I said to myself and gave her hand a soft squeeze, making her look me in the eyes.

"There's something I wanted to talk with you about." I said.
"There's something I need to tell you." She said, only split-seconds after me.

Both of us silenced abruptly, giving each other surprised looks. My grip around the box tightened.

"You ... you can go first." I said with pounding heart, not sure how to get through this without suffering a heart attack.

"No, please." she replied with a gentle smile, "You go first."

"Are you sure?" I asked hesitantly.

"Of course." she said, giving me a gentle nod and a heartwarming smile, keeping her eyes locked with mine, "Whatever you want to say, I'll listen. I'll always listen."

I took in a deep breath, then let it out again. "Okay..." I said quietly, "Here goes nothing." I put the box back into my pocket, got up from my chair and walked over to the balcony's railing, offering her a hand to join me. Looking surprised, but not in the slightest reluctant, she got up from her chair and joined me.

Hearing my own heart pound, I reached out for her hands and held them in mine.

"Roseluck..." I started hesitantly, my mouth running dry, "I'm ... really not good at this, but..." I locked eyes with her, and the smile on her face; this honest, pure smile seemed to take the words right out of my mouth. "It's been almost four years since I've first met you. I never thought it would be possible, but ... from the moment I first saw you, I knew that you were special, and when you talked to me ... and when I first saw you smile..." I had to pause, re-ordering my thoughts.

"In those four years we've been together, you've changed my life for the better in so many ways. I used to be socially awkward, shy, lonely, and now I'm ... with you." my voice was trembling, and I could feel my legs going weak. "W-what I mean to say is..." I bit my lip, gathering up more courage than I had ever had in my whole life, "Every day, when I wake up next to you, just seeing your face lets me know that it'll be a good day ... because I'll spend it with you. And ... and every second I can spend with you feels like a gift from above, and I would be..." I swallowed, having to take another breath, "I would be incredibly honored if I could have this experience, every day, for the rest of my life."

Taking one last, final breath and taking the ultimate leap of faith, I fell to my left knee; my left hand reached into my pocket, pulling out the box. "Roseluck," I said, my voice on the verge of breaking; my right hand opened the ring box, and I presented the golden ring to her, "Will you marry me?"

What followed was the longest period of silence of my whole life.

It felt like years that I was kneeling there, my heart in my mouth, at the edge of my nerve, and looking at the girl I had just proposed to. She was looking at me, her eyes wide, one hand in front of her mouth. She either really hadn't seen this coming, or she was a better actress than she had ever told me.

Then, after a silence that had been almost impossible to endure, she finally gave some sort of vital sign. She gave a muffled sob, her eyes became wet, and for the first time; for the very first time in my whole life, I watched Roseluck cry.

I swear my heart stopped for a whole minute. I didn't dare say a word; I didn't dare move at all.

Then, she finally lowered her hand, and I could see the smile on her face. I had never seen her smile like this before.

She gave another sob, then, finally, nodded her head. "O-of course I will." she said weakly, "I thought you'd never ask."

And from then on, it was all just a blur of endorphins to me. Feeling like the truly happiest man in the world, I got up off my knees, stepped forward, flung my arms around her, and placed my mouth on hers for the happiest kiss we had ever shared.

Truly, everything had been perfect in this moment.

Suddenly, Roseluck broke the kiss, moved her head away from mine and gave me a smug grin instead.

"See?" she said matter-of-factly, "I told you you'd feel better going through that memory again."

It took me a moment to understand what was happening, and as I realized what was going on, I could feel my heart shrink. Letting out a long, heavy sigh and taking my hands off pseudo-Roseluck, I turned away, leaning against the railing and letting my head hang low.

"Come on." she said, placing a hand on my shoulder, "Today's your wedding day, don't be so gloomy."

"I'm trying, okay?" I replied, without looking up. "I'm just ... I don't know what to do. I love her, and just imagining that she'll be with me for the rest of my life is better than anything I could have ever imagined. But at the same time I ... I really don't know how I would deal with her rejecting me. What if she really doesn't love me anymore? What if my dream was right, and she really is lesbian? Or what if she's already married to another guy? Or what if she secretly is a guy? Hell, how would I handle that?"

"Now you're just getting plain ridiculous." Roseluck cut me off, "Look..." she said, turning me around, "Think about it: you've been together for almost four years by now. You've had your ups and downs, but you always got over it. And I can promise you," she said, looking me in the eyes, "She loves you just as much as you love her. And whatever it is she wants to tell you, there's nothing that could make her want to step back from this decision just like that. And if you're willing to take that step, I can guarantee you that she will be as well." she paused for a moment, "I know that for certain. And if I know it, you know it too."

I replied nothing to that at first. Letting out a breath I didn't know I was holding, I turned to face the railing, looking at the magnificent sun setting over the horizon.

"Well," I said after a long moment of silence, "That's a mouthful."

"My whole point is that you shouldn't let things like these drive you insane." she said, calmly, but indignantly, "You've been looking forward to this day for more than a year now, and it's normal to be nervous. But you really are taking things too far with your doom-mongering."

"...I guess you're right." I said hesitantly, "I suppose things are going to come like they will anyway, won't they?"

Imaginary Roseluck nodded affirmatively, "Exactly."

She paused, cocking an eyebrow at me. After a moment she asked, "But you do realize that I just told you the very same thing Aloe tried to tell you earlier, right?"

Thinking about it, I came to the same conclusion, and gave an embarrassed cough. "Um, yes. I guess I do." Raising my arms in defense, I added, "But it does have a different effect coming from you in person. ... Well, in kind of person anyway."

Pseudo-Roseluck rolled her eyes, but seemed to accept my argument. "Fair enough." she said, "Just don't be so stoic next time someone is trying to help you, okay?"

"Alright." I said with a slightly embarrassed smile. 

A moment of silence passed, but then another question popped up in my head. "How long is this unconscious-thing supposed to last anyway?" I asked, and my eyes widened as another thought crossed my mind, "I'm not gonna land in the hospital, am I?"

"I don't know." Roseluck said, shrugging innocently and giving me an apologizing grin, "I know just as much as you, remember?"

"Well, shit." I cussed, letting my shoulders drop, "I swear if I'll wake up in a hospital bed and miss my wedding, I'll-"

I was cut off as the calm, quiet atmosohere of the pacific hotel suddenly vanished. Even before I knew what was happening, I could feel my body go limp; my vision went black, and I could feel my legs giving in as the world around me faded away within seconds.
> Chapter 5
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Wakey wakey, sleepyhead." The teasing voice of Autumn Leaf was the first thing that came to my ears, even before I opened my eyes. A shock came over me as I opened them and realized that I was not laying on the spa's massage table anymore. I was in a car; Autumn Leaf's car, most likely. We were driving through some urban area at a moderate speed.

Slowly, I turned my head to the side, spotting my friend sitting on the drivers' seat and giving me a grin. "Slept well?" he asked with a light chuckle.

"What the..." I gasped, rubbing a hand against my aching head, "Where are we?"

"On the way to your wedding." Autum replied slightly amused, "What did you expect? Waking up in a hospital bed?" As I just gave him an annoyed glare, he laughed, "Okay, I'll admit, we were thinking about getting you to the ER, but then you woke up."

"I did?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

My friend nodded confirmingly. "Ayep. How did you think we got you in here ... and in that?" He said, pointing at me.

Surprised, I lowered my glance, my look falling onto my body. My eyes widened.

I was wearing my wedding suit.

And it was immaculately clean.

"What?" I gasped, "How...?"

"See it as an early wedding gift." Autumn explained with a wink, "I got the tear taken care of and got it cleaned - now you're ready to marry."

"But I was in the spa for not even an hour." I exclaimed, "How did you even...?"

"I have my contacts." He said with a complacent grin. "Happy wedding day."

"But ... how did you get it on me? I was only dressed in a towel!" I asked, then felt my face turn red, "Did you-"

"Nope." He quickly said with a shake of his head, "You woke up a few minutes ago. You were talking jumbles and could barely stand on your two legs, but we managed to get you to put your suit on and sit down in my car. Aloe said the effects should wear off shortly, so I decided to not take you to the hospital just yet and instead wait. And as it turns out..." he added with a grin, "I was right."

"Oh god..." I sighed, lowering my head, "So ... I guess now we're on our way to-"

"The church? Yeah." Autumn replied with a nod, checking his watch, "The ceremony is scheduled to begin in half an hour, so better get ready."

Rubbing my eyes and looking out the window, I took in a deep breath. "Yeah. Guess ... guess you're right."

"Feeling any better?" He asked with an encouraging smile.

I hesitated for a moment, recalling my most recent dream, and what dream-Roseluck had told me, but then nodded. "Yeah." I said weakly, looking up and folding out the sun visor, giving myself a look-over in the integrated mirror. I actually looked better as well. True, the dark rings around my eyes were still there, and probably wouldn't vanish anytime soon, but my face looked a lot less worn and stressed-out than before - I could barely even see the small wound Autum's spray can-attack had left behind.

"Yeah, I actually am." I added, feeling a weak smile form on my face.

"So Aloe's special treatment was successful after all?" Autumn inquired, grinning, "I knew I could trust her. Tough I really don't know what she was thinking, making you pass out halfway through."

I cocked an eyebrow, "Yeah, what was that, anyway?"

"No idea." my friend said with a shrug, "She told me it was some new sort of technique to literally force somebody to relax - sort of a simplified version of that neck pinch-thing they always bring in old spy-movies."

"Are you serious?" I asked him with a disbelieving glare, "And she tried it on me - just like that?"

"Hey, it helped, didn't it?" Autumn asked with a grin, "You said you feel better - and you sure look better."

"Yeah, but..." I wanted to protest, but cut myself off, "ugh..."

"Besides, you got the treatment for free since she made you pass out, so that's something, right?"

"Yeah..." I muttered absentmindedly, "Yeah, I guess you're right." I could feel a smile cross my face, remembering that I was indeed feeling way better than when we had come to the spa. "Thank her for me, will you?"

"Will do." my friend affirmed with a nod.

A moment of silence passed, which I spent looking out my window and watching the scenery pass by - a sight that felt strangely soothing for my strained mind.

"So..." Autumn started over after some time,  "Anything else on your mind? Any last words?"

I hesitated for a moment, but then shook my head. "No. ... No, I guess not. I'm still half-expecting her to make some dreadful confession once we get a chance to talk, but hey..." I said with a forced chuckle and a shrug, "Nothing I can do about it now, right?"

"Yeah, well, about that..." Autumn began, grinning, "There's something else you should know."

And suddenly my heart rate was back at 180 again. "What!?" I gasped, my head shooting towards him, "What do you mean?"

He gave me a sly grin, keeping a meaningful silence for a moment. "You know that I'm the best best friend you could have hoped for, right?"

"What?" I asked, slightly annoyed, "What's your point?"

"Just say it." he said teasingly.

"Fine." I sighed, rolling my eyes, "You're the best best friend I could have hoped for, and I can consider myself lucky for being able to bask in your glory every time we meet." I finished, giving him a serious look, "There. You happy now?"

"Yup." Autumn said smugly. "Now, what I was supposed to tell you..." he paused for effect, taking in a breath, "I called Roseluck again while you were with Aloe, and she told me what it was she wanted to tell you."

"You did!?" I asked unbelievingly, "Really?"

"Ayep." Autumn replied curtly.

"So?" I asked, my heart in my mouth, "What was it?"

"Afraid I can't tell you."

"What!?" I shouted back, "Are you frickin' kidding me!?"

"Nope." The answer was just as brief as it was sober. "She told me what she wanted to tell you, but I had to promise that I won't tell you before her."

"You're kidding. You're kidding, right?" I asked, shaking my head.

"Nope." Autumn repeated himself, "She insisted on telling you herself because it's so important to her - which, in my opinion, is the right decision."

"Oh." I replied dryly, "Great. That's ... that's just great."

"But chin up!" Autumn said, "I've heard it, and I can comfort you: she doesn't want to blow the wedding off. And she still loves you with all her heart. That's good, right?"

"B-but what was it then?" I asked, feeling relieved but tensed at the same time.

Autumn Leaf shook his head, leading his hand to his mouth and making the classical zipper-movement.

"Oh come on!"

"Hey, I promised her I wouldn't tell you a thing." Autumn defended himself, "You can rest assured knowing that it's nothing that bad, but I can't tell you any more."

I sighed, dropping my head and replying nothing.

"Hey, come on." Autumn said, tapping my shoulder and cheering me up, "You'll find out in less than half an hour, and knowing you, I'm sure you'll be delighted." He explained with a wink.

"If you say so..." I muttered, rolling my eyes, "Let's just get there as soon as possible. I'm sick of waiting."





Only minutes later, I was standing in front of the solemnly decorated altar, my hands folded tightly in front of my belt buckle.

And mother of god, I was sure I was only seconds away from a heart attack.

When Autumn Leaf and me had arrived at the church, most of our friends and relatives had already been waiting for me. My friend had taken care of anybody asking where we had been all this time, talking about 'last minute preparations', and I had spent most of the time just standing by, looking fancy, and feeling like I was about to faint.

Autumn, seeming to sense my tension, had merely given me another pat on the shoulder, and had assured me that I would indeed remember this day as the best of my whole life.

And before I had known it, the ceremony had begun - our town's pastor -an old, gray-haired buck- had shown me where to stand once the time had come, I had taken a seat next to Autumn in the first row, the priest had given a short introductive speech, and moments later -way too soon, according to my pounding heart- I was kindly asked to come walking to the altar to seal the deal.

Looking straightforward, so as to try and not direct my attention at the mass of people who were sitting in the pews and who had all come here for me -for me and Roseluck- I closed my eyes, and took in a deep breath; I could still hear my heart pound in my ears.

"We are all here, gathered together, to witness the ceremonial unification of two souls..." the priest began his speech, and I took another deep breath, feeling my thoughts drift off.

Thinking about how long I had been waiting for this day; how often I had dreamt of it; pictured it in my mind; how much I had gone through to stand here today ... and yet, I couldn't say that I was feeling genuinely happy - nervous, tense, but not happy.

And I knew for sure that I could not allow myself to feel this sort of happiness  until I had clarity - an answer to the question that would decide about everything today.

"And now..." the priest's words interrupted my thoughts, making me look up and towards the churches entrance, and my heart beat a whole lot faster, "Let us welcome the bride."

The guests sitting in the pews, who had been muttering and chattering until now suddenly all fell silent as they stood up, and I could feel myself shake from head to toe as I heard the churches main doors open and Richard Wagner's Bridal Chorus sounded through the small building.

I drew in a sharp breath, feeling how my hands began to tremble. Then, slowly, I turned to the side to see my bride. My jaw dropped.

Yes, I had thought that she was beautiful - the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. And I had never thought that she could be anymore beautiful than on the day I had proposed to her, but now...

She was wearing a white wedding dress - plain, white, simple, yet suiting her just perfect and accentuating her body in just the right places. Her shoulder-length red hair was done in a magnificent braid that loosely hung down one side of her head and directed the attention towards her mouth with the thinnest of smiles on her face and her big, green eyes that were looking happy, gleeful even, but also ever so slightly nervous.

And she was looking at me.

Mother of god, she was looking at me.

And just from that look on her face, I got a good idea of what was going on inside her. She was happy, so happy she seemed on the verge of tears, even, but at the same time, that thin smile on her face gave away that she was feeling nervous, and the fact that her eyes remained focussed on me all the while were a clear giveaway that whatever made her feel this nervous was somehow related to me.

Time seemed to slow down as Roseluck slowly came walking down the aisle, accompanied by a light brown buck in a tuxedo by her side - her uncle, not her father. Her relationship with her father was ... complicated. He had left her when she was a kid, and despite her family urging her to do so, she had not wanted to invite him - a decision which her mother, despite being sad about the tense relationship between Roseluck and her father, had supported.

The two stopped in front of the altar, her uncle gave her a short hug, then stepped aside, leaving Roseluck to walk forward and take her positoon in front of the alter opposite to me.

"Hey." she mouthed over the still playing organ, still working on a genuinely happy smile.

"Hi." I mouthed back, letting my look wander over her body - and promptly felt tears forming in my eyes.

Here I was, about to marry the girl of my dreams. She was looking more beautiful than ever, and we were close to being bound together for the rest of our lives - and still, perhaps these were the last moments we would spend as a couple. 

Despite what Autumn Leaf had told me earlier, my mind started drawing up images of whatever it was Roseluck had been meaning to tell me, and the realization that the moment of truth was getting closer with every second that passed just made me want to break out in tears right there.

She appeared to be fidgeting with her hands; her look was darting from the ground, to the ceiling, to my eyes, and back. My mouth was getting dry.

The organ-play continued, and I could see Roseluck biting her lip, figthing with herself. Finally, she seemed to overcome herself, and I could feel a shiver running down my spine as she opened her mouth. "There's something I need to tell you." she said over the play of the organ, just loud enough for me to hear.

I could feel my legs going weak and the desire to break out in tears rise up all over again, but did my best to keep up my composure, took in a deep breath, and finally forced out a muffled, "Okay. ... What is it?"

She hesitated for another moment, but just as she had opened her mouth to tell me, the organ silenced abruptly, the whole church was hulled in dead silence, and she cut herself off in the nick of time, apparently not wanting the whole commiunity to hear what she was about to confess to me.

Moments later, the priest's old, raspy voice filled the room, and sent another shiver down my spine, having heard these words so many times before, but now knowing that they were for me and my bride.

"Dearly beloved, we are all gathered here today to celebrate the love and the bonding between two souls." He paused, looking first at Roseluck, then at me. "My dear friends, you have come together in this church so that the Lord may seal and strengthen your love in the presence of..."

My mind drifted off as the lecture continued; my eyes remained focused on Roseluck, wondering now more than ever what she had been meaning to tell me. My mind was reeling, flooded with possibilities of what could, should and would happen once Roseluck had dropped the bomb.

However, my thoughts came to a standstill as Roseluck once again opened her mouth, her eyes never leaving mine, and softly whispered, "I ... I ... I don't know how I'm supposed to say this..."

"Just say it..." I whispered back, my voice a lot more tense than hers. My look went back to the priest for a second, noticing with relief that he hadn't noticed us two talking - his hearing didn't seem too good anymore.

"Come on, I'm..." I forced out, trying hard not to let my own nervousness show, "I'm sure it ... it can't be that bad."

"Okay..." she gasped, licking her lips nervously, hesitating again, then finally saying, "I ... I'm..."

My heart stopped.

"I'm..." she whispered, and I could see her body tensing up, "I'm ... pregnant."

My world fell apart.

I could feel my shoulders drop, legs going weak, and eyes glazing over.

She was pregnant.

She was ... pregnant!

She was expecting a child. And since the two of us had never had sex, that had to mean...

"Oh." I said dryly, now not even making an effort to keep my voice down.

"Oh." A voice in my head repeated as my mind quickly counted two and two together and drew the inevitable conclusion - she had cheated on me.

The priest gave me a stern look, but contined his lecture undeterred.

She had cheated on me, and was now expecting the child of someone else.

I could feel my mind getting flooded with new emotions - shock, disappointment, but most importantly frustration.

"Why?" my mind asked the inevitable question. Why in the world would she sleep with someone else? And why would she tell me this whole story about waiting until she's married, just to leap onto the next best guy once I turned my back on her.

And most importantly, why, why for the love of god had she waited until now to tell me!? If she could tell for certain that she was pregnant, this whole affair probably hadn't happened just yesterday, so why hadn't she told me sooner? Had she tried to hide it? Hoped to keep it a secret, but now had to confess since it had brought her more than just a bad conscience? Or did she get some sort of sick pleasure from making me look like an idiot in front of the whole community?

I felt anger well up inside me as my eyes went back up to meet hers, and I could see the insecurity in them - surely, it had cost her a lot of overcoming to break these news to me, and it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that she was now nervously waiting to see how I would react.

Well, what had she been expecting? I surely didn't jump for joy after finding out that she had betrayed me - in more ways than one.

And of course, of all the unfitting things that could have happened, it was in this moment that the priest now ended his speech and turned towards me to receive my consent. "Do you take this woman here for your lawful wife, to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do you part?" he asked me the question that would decide not about one, but about two futures.

I replied nothing.

Really?

He really was going to ask me this? Now of all moments?

How? How could I do this? How could I ever love the girl who had betrayed me so shamelessly? Hell, how could I marry her!?

The silence in the church dragged on, and I could feel the audience getting impatient - nervous, even. I was throwing a wrench in the gears of this well-planned ceremony, and I had it in my hand to end it all here and now.

I hesitated again, drawing in a long breath. My look went to my bride, her eyes meeting mine, and I could see how nervousness turned into insecurity, insecurity into apprehension, and apprehension into fear.

I managed to stand up to her look for a few seconds, anger and frustration dominating my mind, but then let my head sink, giving a soft sigh.

I couldn't do it.

I couldn't do this to her.

I could tell how long she had been looking forward to this, and based on the look on her face, I knew all too well how she was feeling in this second. Heck, I had felt almost the same only an hour ago.

But saying no now ... or saying anything other than yes, for that matter ... it would hurt her. It would damage her beyond repair. It would make her hate me; hate herself, maybe lose all faith in humanity altogether. She would be hurt, broken, and utterly devastated.

And no matter what she may or may not have done; no matter what thoughts or emotions were going through my mind in this second, I couldn't stand seeing her like this. Not on what was supposed to be one of the best days of our lives, and not on any other day either.

So I made probably the wisest, most farsighted and overall best decision of my whole life as I forced a smile onto my face, gave a short nod and said, "I do."

With a satisfied nod of his head, the priest turned towards Roseluck, repeating what he had asked me earlier. I could see her tear up with tears of joy as she listened to the vow, and her voice was at the verge of breaking as she, without a second of hesitation, replied "I do."

Absolute silence seemed to fill the hall, then I could hear steps as the witnesses, Autumn Leaf and Lily Valley, came walking up to the altar, carrying the two rings that would seal our marriage.

Holding his hands over them, the priest closed his eyes, reciting some blessing words, then looked back at Roseluck and me, indicating that the time had come.

Slowly, deliberately, I reached a shaking hand out for the ring destined for my bride.

I didn't think. I didn't want to think. I didn't know what to think. What I did know was that I was about to do something that would change my life forever. And while the suspicion of Roseluck betraying me and even getting pregnant from it was still looming over my mind like a dark thundercloud, I did my best to not think about it and instead enjoy the moment.

Because no matter what had happened or what would happen, the fact that the two of us were standing here and now was proof enough that we loved each other - and nothing else mattered in this moment.

With these thoughts in mind, I looked Roseluck in the eyes, softly reached for her left hand with mine, led my right hand carrying the ring up to it, and with the most sincere smile I had ever had on my face, put it on her ring finger.

Time itself seemed to stand still, and I could feel my heart skip a beat as I saw her eyes tear up and her lips begin to move.

She didn't say anything. Giving even the smallest of noises would have been considered more than inappropriate to most of the people involved, so whispering was all she could do to let me know what was on her mind; whispering barely loud enough for me to hear, and nobody else.

And what it was that she whispered was truly surprising - a rather simple information; banal even, but given the circumstances so gamechanging that it almost threw me off my feet.

"You're the father."

Each and every emotion slipped from my face and mind, and I felt almost numb as she now reached out for my hand and put my ring on it.

She leaned a little closer towards me, though only close enough that the audience wouldn't notice, and raised her voice only high enough for me to hear.

"It's three months now." Roseluck carefully explained, and the penny in my head finally dropped. 

Of course.

Of fucking course.

How? How in the world could I have ever forgotten that?





It was a Friday night in early March. Spring had been slow in coming: the sky was hung with clouds, the temperatures were barely over the freezing point, and I was sure it was only  a matter of time until the first flakes of snow would show up.

And here I was, standing on a godforsaken field in the middle of nowhere, trying to set up a tent. My breath was forming clouds against the icy air, and despite my four layers of thick clothing, I could feel myself starting to shiver.

Truly, I could think of a dozen, if not a hundred reasons why this was a bad idea, and still, I was here.

"The things I do for my best friend..." I growled through my chattering teeth as I fought to drive one of the metal tent pegs into the still frozen ground with a ridiculously undersized wooden hammer. "He ows me." I said with a huff, raising my hand holding the hammer for a final strike that, I was sure, would either force the stubborn peg into the ground or break my hammer's handle. "He ows me big time."

But just as I was about to launch into the devastating blow, I felt a hand on my shoulder, and hesitated.

"Everything okay, dear?" I could hear Roseluck's soft voice come from behind me, and turned my head as she crouched down next to me.

I replied with a sullen grunt, giving the peg a soft strike with the hammer instead, not wanting to let her notice my frustration.

"Hey, don't be so grumpy." she said, rubbing my back. She could read me like a book. "I'm sure it'll be worth it in the end."

"Yeah yeah..." I muttered, continuing my work on the tent peg with softer strokes, "I'm sure it'll be worth it if we don't die from exposure before midnight. Who even came up with the idea of camping when it's still half-winter? Just to watch a damn meteor shower?"

"You've heard how important it is to your friend." she said consolidatingly, "So chin up, I'm sure it'll be good." she said with a genuinely happy smile.

"Hrmph." I grunted back.

Coming here had been a rather spontaneous decision - Autumn Leaf and Lemon Hearts had shown up at our doorstep earlier this day, informing us about an upcoming meteor shower and asking us if we wanted to join them to watch it under the open sky - in a tent, in the outskirts of town.

My first instinct had been to give them a polite, but decisive refusal. Ever since being forced to join the boy scouts in my childhood, camping was among my least favorite things to do, and especially with the polar temperatures outside, I could easily think of a dozen better things to do. However, before I had been able to do so, Roseluck had shown up behind me and, arguning that it had been way too long since we had done something together, had accepted the proposal without hesitation.

And here we were - only hours later, in the middle of nowhere. The fact that it was still practically winter hadn't seemed to bother anyone involved other than me, and even though the sky was covered in thick, black clouds and the chances of actually seeing any shooting stars were vanishingly low, everbody seemed to be positive about this whole thing.

"Everything good?" I listened up as I heard Autumn Leaf's voice come from behind me, and turned my head. My friend was looking down at me crouching on the ground, his wife hooked into his arms, and had that smug grin on his face again. "Need a hand?" he asked me with a wink.

I drew in a breath to comment on him offering me help without having set up his own tent first, but then my look fell on the neatly arranged and perfectly constructed two-person tent standing like a dream behind them, and I fell silent.

"No." I finally said, giving a defeated sigh as I lowered the hammer, "No thanks, I'm good."

"Are you sure?" Lemon Hearts asked, sounding slightly amused as she pointed at the crooked, half-buried peg in front of me, "I don't think that's how a tent peg is supposed to look."

I let out a long sigh, rubbing my hands against each other, then against my shoulders. "You know what?" I asked after a moment of silence, picking up the hammer again and getting back to my feet. "You're right." I said, handing my best friend the toy-sized hammer, "You're clearly better at this than me. Be a good chum and fix it for me, will ya? I'll go get some coffee."

I walked past him, towards my car standing a few yards away, but was stopped as Lemon Hearts turned after me and asked, "What's wrong? Aren't you excited?"

With a dry chuckle, I shrugged. "Sure I am. Sleeping in a tent on a field and getting a healthy load of frostbite - that's my one and only treat, you know?"

"Awesome!" Lemon Hearts cheered excitedly, either oblivious to or simply ignoring my sarcasm.

Moments later, I was standing next to the passenger door of my car, enjoying the feeling of warmth the boiling hot coffee sent through my mouth, nostrils, all the way down into my stomach.

I looked up as I heard steps coming closer, and prepared myself for a lecture on manners when I saw that it was Roseluck who was approaching me.

"Hey." she said with a somewhat forced smile.

"Hey." I replied, holding a second cup of steaming hot coffee up for her, "Want one too?"

"Thanks." She said with an appreciative smile, and took the cup from my hands.

A moment of silence passed, in which the two of us were just standing there, enjoying our hot beverages.

Then my fiancée decided to break the silence as she lowered her coffee, looked at me and gave me another one of these heartwarming smiles only she could produce. "Come on." she said encouragingly, "I know you're not too happy with all this, but let's give this thing a chance, okay?" she proposed with a happiness of which I couldn't tell if it was forced or legit, "If Lemon and Autumn are this excited about it, there's got to be something to it, don't you think?"

"Hrm." I replied curtly, taking another sip from my coffee, "I've known Autumn for a while now, and as much as I like him, he is quite naive. He's pretty easy to get excited about the most simple things."

Roseluck gave a soft grunt, remaining silent for a moment. Then, however, a new idea seemed to cross her mind, and she turned to face me. "Okay, I know you don't want to do this, but I'm sure it'll be great." she reached out with her hand, grabbing mine and holding it in hers, "Just trust me, okay?"

I looked up, fighting with myself, but couldn't stand saying no to that look in her eyes. That sweet, sweet look of hers that simply wouldn't allow no for an answer.

So I ended up giving a defeated sigh and said, "Fine. You win." I paused, enjoying that look in her eyes, and feeling a smile form on my face as well. "If you're so sure about this, I'm sure it'll end up being a good experience."

It wasn't.

It really wasn't.

Several hours later, I was laying curled-up in an old military sleeping bag that had the insulating properties of baking paper, trying to find sleep in the igloo we called our tent, and cursing myself, my friends, and this whole ass-cold world.

The meteor shower, the reason why we had come out here in the first place, had turned out to be even more unspectacular than I had expected - the full moon hanging in the sky made it hard to see anything at all, and the thick layer of clouds covering up the majority of the sky, safe for a few clear spots, didn't make spotting the falling stars any easier.

In the end, we had decided to call the spotting off a few hours earlier than expected due to a lack of success. Being chilled to the bones from the general cold and the ever-blowing wind around us, I had suggested we would strip down the tents and head back home, but had been stopped by Lemon Hearts who had argued that it wouldn't be a real camping trip without sleeping in tents. Autumn Leaf, not wanting to stab his wife in the back, had agreed, and Roseluck, not wanting to be a killjoy, had also cast her lot with them, leaving me as a freezing, grumpy, but ultimately outvoted party pooper.

The wind had freshened up a few hours ago, bringing a light, but noticeable rain with it. The temperatures, not having been too high to begin with, had gone down noticeably, and I was sure I would find a thick layer of ice on our tent the next morning.

That is, if I wouldn't have passed out from the cold before.

Following the advice of my best friend who, by his own admission, had turned himself into an 'outdoor expert' by browsing various forums on the internet, I had taken off my thick winter clothing and thermal underwear and had slipped into my sleeping bag in my birthday suit. How exactly this was supposed to make me feel warmer I didn't know, and given the fact that I was starting to lose the feeling in my fingers and toes, I had my well-justified doubts about this theory. But putting on my clothes now meant opening and leaving the lukewarm refuge I called my sleeping bag, and that, I was sure, would result in chillblains, frostbite or even worse.

Likewise, getting to my car to turn on the heater or even drive home would probably have the same result, so leaving the tent or even my sleeping bag was out of the question.

So I decided to just sit this out. Morning would have to come eventually, and until then I would just try to keep myself warm with warm thoughts.

I pictured myself laying on a beach, somewhere near the equator - hot, burning sun, waves hitting the sandy shore, and air that was so hot it seemed to warm me up from the inside out with every breath I took.

Closing my eyes, I let out an unexpectedly content sigh that almost drowned out my chattering teeth, rubbing my arms against each other. Surprisingly enough, the mental image of laying on a sunny, sandy beach lightened my stricken mood, and I could feel myself relax as sleep started to wash over me.

That is, until a huge hole was torn into my sancutary sleeping bag and all the warm air my body had so cumbersomely produced over the course of the past hours rushed out in an instant, being replaced by the icy air that filled our shared tent.

In an instant, I could feel my mood worsen. I was angry. I was raging mad! Who or whatever had had the audacity to recklessly break into my refuge clearly had no idea of the struggle I was going through, and whoever it was would get to feel-

My thoughts were cut short as I felt the touch of two incredibly warm hands on my back, shortly followed by the feeling of something slipping into my sleeping bag and snuggling up against my back.

My breath caught in my throat as my mind put one and one together and caught up with what was happening.

Roseluck had joined me.

And she was warm.

She was glowing!

I could feel an involuntary shiver run through my spine as she pressed her body against mine, closing the sleeping bag again, then laid her arms around my neck, her soft touch heating up my frozen limbs like a hot-water bottle.

It was by then that I noticed that she, just like me, was naked. I felt her breasts pressing against my back, her thighs resting against mine, and could sense a pleasant warmth coming from within me as a smile grew on my face.

Roseluck planted a kiss on my cheek from behind, then rested her head against mine.

And just like that, I wasn't shivering anymore. I wasn't angry anymore. I was just happy. Happy to be with her; happy that I had her.

Slowly, carefully, I turned around in the now even tighter embrace of my sleeping bag, and looked at the love of my life.

The light shining onto our tent was sparse, and I could barely make out the shape of her head in the dark, but even then I could see that she was smiling. It was a genuine, honest, and serious smile. She had seen that I was freezing, and had come to warm me up.

I never thought I could love someone as much as I loved her in this moment.

I laid my arms around her bare body, pulling her in for what felt like the tightest embrace we had ever shared. She returned the hug, resting her head on my shoulder, and let out a soft sigh.

As far as I was concerned, we could have stayed like this for the rest of the night. Heck, we could have stayed like this for the rest of our lives, but it seemed Roseluck had other things in mind.

A few moments later, she pulled back and broke the hug. Her eyes never leaving mine, she tenderly grabbed my hands in hers, and gently led them to her breasts.

Not wanting to break the pleasant silence of the night, I gave her a questioning look, but she just pulled herself close to me, making our bodies touch, flung her arm around my neck and planted her lips on mine.

And in that moment, I knew what she meant.

And nothing more needed to be said.





"I now pronounce you husband and wife."

Like stunned, I stood there, looking at her smiling form.

"You may now kiss the bride."

Really, how could I have ever forgotten about this?

This night had, despite the rather disappointing afternoon before, ended up being one of the best nights of my whole life, and just thinking back to it made me smile as if by command, and I was sure it must have a similiar effect on Roseluck.

But despite that, I could tell that she still seemed preserved - nervous, if nothing else.

And to be fair, I did understand why. Having a child was a big, a huge step forward in our relationship, and while I didn't need to think even one second about whether the two of us were ready for this responsibility, I could understand why she had been meaning to tell me about it in person - and why she, now, had been so hesitant to tell me about it.

We had talked about the topic of children several times by now - neither of us had any objections or reservations about it, though we had decided to delay this whole matter until after we were married for, well, obvious reasons.

Now, however, fate had leapfrogged us, though I could tell that she didn't mind - and neither did I.

Surely that was a surprise, especially for me. After all, who could have known that this night would have such drastic effects?

Hell, until now I hadn't even been sure if we had actually had sex that night. We had spent the whole night in each other's embrace, our bodies and minds united physically, yes, but even moreso spiritually. It was in this night that I had realized that the two of us were made for each other; that I felt connected to her on a level I had never thought possible, and that she was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with - to grow old with, to be buried with, and to be united with in my afterlife, together for all eternity.

By all means, this night had been all about sensuality, togetherness and above all, love. The phyiscal contact had been just a side effect.

And of course, I now was all the more surpised to hear what unexpected results this night had brought with it.

But nevertheless, saying that I was 'happy' would have been an understatement. All petty, unimportant and unrealistic daydreams about making it big and rolling in money aside, all my life I had only had one big aim: having a family. And with Roseluck by my side ... and with our ... our child on the way, I ... I just ... I couldn't believe it.

Really, the fact that despite all my reservations, the message Roseluck had been meaning to tell me had not been that she wanted to leave me, but also that it had turned out to be such a pleasant surprise, had turned my gloomy mood upside down within seconds and made me want to jump with joy.

But even more than that, seeing the look in her eyes ... that look that told me just how happy she was about the prospect of becoming a mother, filled me with a happiness I had never known before.

And still, I could tell that Roseluck was nervous - standing stiffly, awaiting my response - and becoming more nervous with every second I didn't react.

I didn't need to wonder. I didn't need to think. What happened next came from the bottom from my heart, and from nowhere else.

I took a step forward, put my arms around her, and we exchanged the longest, most righteous, most intense kiss of our whole life.

The audience broke out in cheers, and the world around us seemed to vanish in a blur.

Moments later, I finally pulled back, and looked into the eyes of the person I loved more than anything else in this world.

Tears of joy were freely running down her face - tears I had only seen her shed once in her life, and tears I hoped I could make her shed many more times in the life that lay ahead of us - a life the two of us would spend together. Side by side like the partners for life we now were.

I drew in a sharp breath, fighting with myself, but couldn't help it. The sight of Roseluck looking at me like this; the atmosphere around us, and most importantly the realization that all this was real life and not just another dream, finally made me tear up too.

Feeling my eyes wet and tears running down her face, I put my arms around my bride once more, pulling her into a tight, tender hug.

"I love you." I whispered into her ear.

"I love you too." she replied, without a second of hesitation.

I closed my eyes, taking in a deep breath of the sweet rosey scent that surrounded her hair, and could feel my body relax as my mind drifted off into nirvana.

Because I knew that, from now on, things ... wouldn't be perfect.

Not all the time, at least.

Life would be hard from time to time; sticks and stones would be thrown in our ways, and dark times would come and go.

But none of this would matter in the end.

Because I knew that, with her by my side, the good times would always prevail.

Because I knew that we were together.

Together for the rest of our lives.

And nothing else mattered.