> Living in Equestria
>  by Blazewing
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Where Am I?
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“To whom it may concern,

I have no idea who I might be writing this to. I simply have confidence in, well, confiding in you, my mystery reader, whomever you might be. There’s a TV show out there known as My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. Despite all it has going for it, I have never felt the slightest inclination nor desire to associate myself as a “brony”. That, reader, is the name the fan base has given the male fans of the show. Pun-tastic, isn’t it? Anyway, I will admit, the writing is good, the characters are enjoyable, the voices are nice to listen to, the music and songs are great, and the humor gets a good chuckle out of me, but there’s some things about this show that I just can’t stand.

Before I get into that, I might as well give a bit of detail into the show itself. It revolves around six pony mares, the unicorns Twilight Sparkle and Rarity, pegasus ponies Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy, and Earth ponies Applejack and Pinkie Pie. These six encounter several misadventures in their hometown of Ponyville, in the land of Equestria, ruled by Princess Celestia. These misadventures usually result in learning an important lesson by the end, but that’s one of my main points, so let’s just dive right into my main issues with the show.

First of all, the name. Just saying the words My Little Pony only serves as a reminder that this was based off a cutesy TV show and girl toy franchise from the past. Therefore, to save myself substantial embarrassment, I only ever refer to it by its acronymic moniker, MLP. It’s the only way I can stomach it.

The second thing, which is in tandem with the first, is the theme song. Again, it’s too much of a reminder of where it came from, and I’d rather not listen to it. Yes, only the first six words (really the three that make up the main title) are what seal it, as they do still stay connected to the original theme, but the fact still remains.

Third, the underlying morals. To an extent, the entire show is based on the ‘magic of friendship’, and the morals at the end, made as letters to the ruler of the land, are all about lessons of friendship; Aesops, if you will. These Aesops seem to do nothing more than remind me that the entire premise is the importance of friendship. Yes, I know, it’s a kid’s show, and part of the title is Friendship is Magic, but come on, do they need to make it that obvious? 

Fourth,” ...


***


There. It was down on paper. I had finally gotten it off my chest.

So why didn’t I feel more satisfied?

This was what I’d come here for. This was what I risked some alone time to accomplish. Since I didn’t have the nerve to say it out loud, my only other resource was to put it in writing. It was supposed to be therapeutic. Why, then, did I still feel this heavy weight on my heart?

It was no good. No matter what I did, I just couldn’t escape the truth. Besides, writing to ‘whomever it may concern’ was just ridiculous, as no one was going to see this anyway. This was more or less just a means of justifying my own self-respect, but I didn’t feel like I’d accomplished even that.

Taking the sheet of notebook paper in my fingers, I ripped it out of the book, a little unevenly, and was prepared to crumple it into a ball and throw it away.

But I didn’t get much farther than that. At the moment, I felt something like a sharp pang in my right arm.

“Augh! What the-”

Then the same pain through my other arm.

“Gah! What's going on?!”

Then it struck again, in both arms at the same time. Then I felt it in my legs. Next, my head began to throb, as if I were succumbing to a major headache.

“What’s...happening?...”

At last, my whole body seized up, and I felt myself black out.


***


The next thing I knew, I was regaining my senses, so to speak. My head was sore, as if someone had taken it into their skull to pound it vigorously with a crowbar. There was also a sort of…how do I put it into words…vague fuzziness in my head. I was dimly aware of myself and my body, but beyond that, there were...patches missing. I knew my name and who I was, but what had I been doing before I went unconscious? Had I been doing anything at all?

All around me, I felt like I was lying on something soft and tickly. Grass, maybe? Had I been outside at the time? My eyes felt heavy, so it was an effort to pry them open. Surprisingly, my vision upon doing so was perfectly clear, and it didn’t look like my glasses were cracked, but there was something else in my line of vision besides the cloud-dotted blue sky.

Contrary to what I had originally thought, I was not alone in this…wherever I was. I was being closely observed by a pair of very large, light blue eyes with prominent eyelashes. I felt myself jump, prostrated as I was on the grass. There was also a scent of something strong and sweet. Cotton candy, maybe?

“Hi!”

The voice that met my eardrums was a female’s, very perky and high-pitched.

“I was wondering when you’d get up, sleepy-pants!”

With a groan, I shifted myself into a sitting position, the pain in my head renewing itself, but I could now see my surroundings. I was indeed sitting in grass, a whole field of it, in fact. Off in the distance, I could see a town, more like a village than anything, and the outline of a massive forest further on. I looked around to try and find the person who had spoken to me, but there was no one there.

Instead, there was a small horse or pony, whichever it was, gazing at me intently, but unlike any equine I had ever seen before. I ventured to guess that it was female, due to the eyelashes, as well as the bizarre combination of coat and mane colors she possessed.

First of all, she was pink; a bright, bubble-gum pink, a Pepto-Bismol pink. Her mane was a darker shade, probably magenta. And speaking of her mane, I don’t think I’d ever seen any hairstyle quite so…wild. It was one big frizzy, poofy, unkempt mass, and the tail was little better. She looked as though she slept on a mattress made of balloons. She was about half my size on all fours (I was at least 6 feet tall), and while not exactly fat, she wasn’t quite skinny, either, as she sported a round little belly and curvy hips.

Weirdest of all, on her flank was something like a mark or tattoo: three balloons, two blue and one yellow. That was weird enough, but what was even more mystifying was where my mystery addresser had disappeared to.

The pony was just sitting there on the grass, looking at me and smiling blissfully, as if she hadn’t a care in the world.

...

Wait a minute…

Ponies don’t smile!

What in the world was going on? Why was this pony smiling at me? How was this pony smiling at me?!

I had to say something, otherwise the only thing that would come out of my mouth was a scream. I croaked,

“Are…are you smiling at me?”

My voice, normally deep and mellow, was weak with apprehension. To my horror, not only did the smile widen, but the pony laughed.

Yes, she laughed, in a kind of snorting giggle that, if I had not been so confused, I would have found cute.

“Well, of course I’m smiling at you, silly! How could I be happy if I were frowning? There’s no such thing as a happy frown!” She gasped. “Or is there?” 

She tapped a hoof to her chin, deep in thought. Meanwhile, my mind was about to snap in two. This pony wasn’t just talking, she was talking in the exact same voice I had heard upon waking up. She was the one I had been looking for.

The world had gone upside down. I’d officially gone nuts. I must have gone nuts! How could it be otherwise? I’d spoken to a pony that spoke back to me!

It was a lost cause. I let loose with a scream to the heavens, a shout that, in a way, pleaded to God in Heaven to tell me what in the world was going on!

The only reason I stopped was because I noticed the pony screaming as well. However, she was screaming with that big smile on her face, as if this was a game! She stopped when she saw I had stopped.

“Aw, don’t wanna scream anymore?” she asked. “It was kind of fun.”

“W-What are you?” I asked, backing away slightly.

As I did so, I dug my hand into my pocket. I had to call someone: the police, animal control, my parents, anyone! However, with a thrill of horror, I realized my pockets were empty. My phone, my wallet, all of that was gone, and there was no sign of any of it in the grass!

The pony, meanwhile, tilted her head.

“What am I?” she asked. “Well, that’s kind of a silly question, isn’t it? I’m a pony, of course! I should be the one asking what you are. I know you’re not a bird, since you fell right out of the sky, and a bird would have flown instead of dropping like a rock.”

I...fell out of the sky? What kind of nonsense was that?

She trotted over to me and gazed long and hard into my eyes, her lower lip jutting in a thoughtful pout as she examined me. I felt an overpowering urge to yell again, and that cotton candy smell was stronger than ever.

“I’ve never seen anything like you before,” she went on, “and I’ve seen lots of weird things.”

“I’m a...a human,” I managed to say.

“A 'human'?” asked the pony. “I feel like I’ve heard that word before, but where?...”

As she sat on her haunches to ponder over this, my mind was reeling to come up with an answer to what the heck was going on. Was I hallucinating? Was this an alcoholic dream? Not likely, since I didn’t drink. Besides, people claim to see pink elephants when they get intoxicated, not pink ponies. Was this pony even real? Was she a figment of my imagination, like an imaginary friend? No, that couldn’t be it. I never had an imaginary friend, certainly not one as girly-looking as this creature. Still, the question remained: was she real?

I tentatively reached out a hand towards her, and she looked up to observe it curiously.

“Ohh, humans must be like dragons,” she said. “They don’t have hooves, either. So are those claws too? They don’t look like them.”

I placed my hand on her forehead. It felt...warm, soft, slightly furry. The pony smiled and giggled as I ran it over her mane, then over one ear, then down her neck.

“Stop!” she squealed. “You’re tickling me!”

She certainly felt real. Still, wasn’t there even the slightest possibility that this was all a dream?

Yes, that had to be it! People had dreams about falling all the time, so didn’t it stand to reason that there could also be dreams where you were told you fell from the sky?

“Of course!” I said, more to myself, as I got to my feet.

“What?” asked the pony.

“This is all just some crazy dream,” I went on, gesturing to the heavens. “Why else would I ‘fall from the sky’, and find myself talking to a pony with balloons on her butt and who smells like cotton candy?”

“Aww, you noticed my new shampoo!” said the pony, sweetly, but I didn’t even notice her sentiments.

“All that remains to be done,” I said, “is to wake myself up, and what better way to do so than the time-honored practice…of pain?”

I stooped down to pick up a stone sitting in the grass. The pony cocked her head, curious.

“What are you going to do with that?” she asked.

Instead of answering, I gritted my teeth, shut my eyes, and smacked my forehead with the rock.

The pain was real. Very real. Light danced in my head behind my closed eyes. It didn’t help that I’d already had a headache to begin with.

“Ow…” I moaned, rubbing where I’d hit myself. “Well, at least I know I felt that. Now, when I open my eyes, I’ll be back in my own home, and everything will be back to normal…”

I opened my eyes.

They met the pony’s.

She was still there, still looking at me in bemused wonder.

…That wasn’t normal. Not close.

“Why would you do that?” the pony asked. “That couldn’t have felt good for you.”

Oh, this was not good. This was not good at all.

“This...this can’t be happening,” I muttered, staggering back. “Why am I talking to a pink pony that talks back if it’s not a dream? This means...What does this mean?! Where am I?!”

My self-control was completely shattered. I was somewhere I didn’t recognize, far from home, with no means of contacting anyone I knew, stranded with a creature that may as well have been a piece of my imagination. Everything was collapsing around me…

My head began to spin. I was about to pass out, but just as I began to fall backwards, I felt something stop me: a pair of surprisingly soft hooves against my back.

“Whoa there, silly billy!” came the pony’s voice.

(A pony is telling a human to ‘whoa’. Oh, the irony…)

“Don’t conk out on me now," she said, easing me into a sitting position. "You just got here!”

“You don't understand!” I moaned. “This isn’t where I’m supposed to be! My friends, my family! They’re all...all back...home…”

I could feel a cloud of misery rising up within me, and my throat began to sting, as if I had swallowed a lump of coal. My parents, my family, my friends, all of them were back home, and here I was in God knows where. I didn’t even have my phone on me, if reception even worked out here, so I had no means of contacting anyone.

I was alone.

Alone in a strange world.

It was almost too much to bear…

I felt a tear escape my eye and run down my cheek, and I heard the pony give a small gasp.

“Oh... I had no idea. Please don’t cry. I hate seeing a frown, especially if it comes with tears.”

She wrapped her forelegs around me in a hug and drew me close, nuzzling her cheek against mine. She was very warm and soft, as I said, and I couldn’t help but feel comforted, despite the circumstances. She hadn't done me any harm, and though she seemed a bit air-headed, she was also rather kind. She could have bolted at the first sight of me, but she chose to stick around and talk to me, see that I was all right. It was...touching. I could feel my panic at being with a talking pony ebb away.

“There, there,” she cooed, softly. “It’ll be all right.”

“Thank you,” I muttered. “You're very kind, but I still don’t know what’s going on, or how I got here.”

She gently released me, trotted around so that she was facing me, sat down, and asked,

“Well, what were you doing before?”

I paused, trying again to marshal my thoughts and answer that question I myself had been pondering...but nothing came.

“Well, that’s just it,” I said. “I don’t know what I was doing, but I blacked out and woke up out here, where you found me.”

“Where you fell out of the sky.”

This again...

“Did I really?” I asked.

“Uh-huh. I saw you. You plummeted straight down out of a cloud, nyeeeeer, boom!” 

She embellished her onomatopoeia by using her hooves to imitate something dropping out of the sky and landing on the ground. I winced.

“I ran out here to see what happened, and it turned out to be you.”

“Huh,” was all I could say at first. Then, I went on, “Well, as weird as that sounds, that might explain why my head hurts. I mean, before I hit myself with the rock, of course. I still have no idea how this happened, how I got here, or how I’m even supposed to get home again. The only thing I can think to do is find someone who has the answer, if there even is an answer. Is there anyone you know who might be able to help me?”

The pony rubbed her chin in thought, and then said, brightly,

“I think there might be! She’s super-brainy! She knows practically everything!”

“Really? That sounds great!”

My excitement at this prospect was eclipsing my unease and anxiety. I felt like I could really trust this pink pony. She was my only hope right now.

“Listen, I feel like we started off on the wrong foot, so do you think we can start over?”

“Sure!” said the pony, smiling. “Should we go back to you lying on the grass and me saying ‘hi’? Or do you want to fall down again?”

“Er, no," I said. “Let’s settle on a shake and exchange of names.”

“Ohh, ok!”

I extended a hand toward her, though I immediately felt foolish doing it, because I realized there and then that she didn’t have hands. That didn’t bother her any, as she stuck out her hoof in the same manner. After a moment's hesitation, I decided to go with it and shook her, erm, hoof.

“My name’s Pinkie Pie,” said the pony, “but you can call me Pinkie.”

Pinkie Pie…I ran the name over in my mind, and almost felt silly saying it to myself. Then again, she was pink. Very, very pink, so it made sense, I suppose. 

“Well, it’s very nice to meet you, Pinkie. I’m-”

“Oh, I know your name! It’s David, right?”

"Yeah, that's right, but you can call me Dave."

Hold on, what?

"Wait a second. How could you possibly have known…?”

“It was on this book!”

She held up, in her teeth, a green spiral notebook that had been lying on the grass. Sure enough, there, written on a piece of tape slapped across the otherwise blank cover, was my name: David.

I quickly took it from her and opened it up. It seemed to be in good condition…but the first page had been ripped out.

I looked around the grass, but could see no trace of a torn page. Had it always been like that? With this big empty patch in my memory, it was certainly possible, but still, there was something about this torn area that...bothered me.

“Are you ok?” Pinkie asked.

“Huh? Yeah, I’m fine,” I said, tucking the book under my arm. “So, where am I, exactly?”

“You’re in Equestria, and that town way over there-” she pointed with her hoof to the village, “is Ponyville!”

“Ponyville? Equestria?” I asked, unable to entirely disguise my incredulity. 

I doubted very much I’d find those on any map of the world back home.

“Uh-huh!” said Pinkie, proudly. “Proud home of Earth ponies, unicorns, and pegasi!”

Wait a minute. Did she just say…?

“Unicorns?” I asked. “You mean, ponies with horns? Those exist?”

“Of course!” said Pinkie. “Didn’t you know that? Aren’t there any where you come from?”

“Er, not exactly. And by pegasi, do you mean ponies with wings?”

“Yep-a-roony!” said Pinkie. “How about those? Do you have them where you’re from?”

“Well, no. But what’s an Earth pony?”

“That’s what I am,” said Pinkie. “No horn, no wings, but we don’t mind!”

“Well, we have something like that where I’m from.”

Still, unicorns? Pegasus ponies? Those existed here? Had I landed in some little girl’s fantasy world?

“Well, follow me, and I’ll introduce you to my friend!”

Without giving me time to respond. she bounded away like lightning.

“Hey! Wait up!” I called, racing to keep up with her.

> Welcome to Ponyville
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

When I say that Pinkie bounded away, I really mean ‘bounded away’. She didn’t trot or gallop, she bounced. I’m not joking; she hopped forward like a pronking deer on all four hooves, as if they were made of rubber, humming a merry tune as she did so. It was all I could do to keep up with her. In fact, I was so focused on keeping pace that I didn’t realize we had walked right into the town called Ponyville. I stopped short, unable to believe what I was seeing. I was surrounded by numerous ponies, all of them gazing at me.

They were all a very colorful variety, every color imaginable in their coats and manes, which would have been impossible for normal equines. All had different mane styles, ranging from curly, coiffed, and well-combed to messy, unruly, and unkempt. They were all various sizes as well, from tiny foals to large stallions, but most were about Pinkie’s height and size. I could just see the slight differences between the colts and mares; the females had large eyelashes, curvier figures, and rounded snouts, while the males were more straight-bodied, had no visible eyelashes, and had blunter snouts. Just as Pinkie had said, too, much to my utter amazement, I picked out several unicorns and pegasus ponies among them. They looked just like the other ponies, except the unicorns had pointed horns on their foreheads, and the pegasus ponies had wings on their backs. Creatures thought to have been the product of mythology and little girls' fantasies, and they were in abundance in this land! No one would ever believe it! Even I couldn't believe it!

Lastly, all of them, with the exception of the youngest among them, had those weird marks on their flanks. They all looked like the preview images you’d see at a tattoo parlor, and I wondered just what the heck those images meant. Were they a fashion trend?

The diversity aside, I became once more aware that they were all looking right at me, some out of curiosity, others out of apprehension. A little foal tried to approach me, but a mare, probably its mother, pulled it back. They seemed to be waiting for me to say something, to do something. It was clear that they were on the same level of intelligence as humans, like Pinkie, otherwise they wouldn’t have their own town or country. Still, why couldn’t someone else break the ice? Anything to get rid of the silence. 

A brief diversion came in an unexpected form. Over on a park bench, a cream-colored Earth pony with a fluffy blue and pink mane was sitting with a pale-green unicorn with a messy green and white mane. The Earth pony had an image of three wrapped candies on her flank, while the unicorn had one of a harp. Or was that a lyre? The unicorn had been gazing at me intently for a while, and now she let out the most excited gasp I think I’d ever heard before. She grabbed her companion around the neck and was hugging her close to herself, almost crying with joy. I could barely make out that she was shrieking,

“I knew it! I just KNEW it!!”

No other pony seemed to pay her any mind, and all were still gazing at me silently. I felt like I was an animal in a zoo, being gawked at by visitors, come to gaze at some oddity of nature. It was funny how that seemed to be the case when they were the ones I would have found odd. At that moment, Pinkie returned.

“There you are!” she said. “What’s keeping you?”

“Well, it’s kind of hard to keep up with someone who bounces like you do," I said. "Besides, I feel like I just spooked your fellow townsfolk.”

Pinkie glanced about at the other ponies.

“Ooh! This is perfect! I can introduce you to everypony! Everypony, this is Dave, my new friend! He fell from the sky!”

Well, what a way to introduce somebody…

“Hello...everyone,” I said, meekly.

Pinkie had said ‘everypony’. Was I supposed to have said that, too? This was just too weird: I was talking to a bunch of ponies, ponies that could talk back! 

The staring didn’t cease, but some looked relieved, others wary. No one made a single movement, either towards or away from me. All we were waiting on baited breath.

“I’m not here to cause any harm,” I said, hoping this would be encouraging. “I come in peace.”

The ponies began muttering excitedly to each other, and while I didn’t catch everything, what I did catch didn't sound unpleasant.

“He’s very polite,” one mare said.

“He doesn’t seem dangerous,” added a stallion.

“It’s a human! An honest-to-goodness human!”

"I thought they were just a myth..."

“I wonder if Princess Celestia knows…”

Suddenly, I felt a tug at the leg of my jeans. Pinkie had attracted my attention to point at a pony approaching. She seemed a middle-aged mare, tan with a gray mane and half-moon spectacles. The image of a sealed scroll decorated her flank. She stopped in front of me and gazed up at me in a scrutinizing manner.

“You’re a human, are you not?” she asked, crisply.

“Yes.”

“What do you call yourself?”

“Dave, ma’am.”

“Well, Dave, as mayor of Ponyville-”

At this, I stiffened. I was addressing the mayor? Things just got serious.

“-I can say with certainty that, if the stories hold true, you are the first human in Equestria in many, many years, and certainly the first ever in Ponyville.”

So they did know about humans, to an extent. Did that mean I was still on Earth, and just on some long-forgotten continent no one bothered to map, or was I in another world entirely, flung from the comfort of home into an alternate universe? Both sounded extremely far-fetched, but then again, I was talking to pastel-colored equines with pictures on their rears.

“Then, I’m not the first ever?" I asked.

"Not to my knowledge," said the mayor. "Understand that we ponies know very little about your kind, even in past times. If you do come in peace, then perhaps you can give a proper account of yourself. Where do you come from, and why are you here?"

I looked from her to the ponies gathered around. All were looking straight at me again. What was I supposed to say? What could I say? I’d already tried to remember what had happened and why I was here, and had come up blank.

"Well?" asked the mayor.

"Well, see, that's the thing. I'm from Earth-"

"Are you saying you don't think this is Earth?" asked the mayor, shrewdly.

"No, no! I never said that! I mean, I don't quite know how this happened, either. I don't even remember what I was doing before I got here. It’s all one big blur."

The mayor raised an eyebrow. This was clearly not a satisfactory answer.

"I know, I know it sounds bad," I said, "but I swear, I don't remember. All I know is I woke up outside of town, and Pinkie Pie here found me."

I gestured to the pink pony, who smiled.

"She says I fell out of the sky, which even I have a hard time believing, but I can't see any other way I could have ended up here."

The mayor continued to look at me long and hard. Some ponies began talking among themselves, some even laughing.

"I see," said the mayor. "Well, if that's all you have to go on, there is not much else we can do about it. If Pinkie Pie here agrees to claim responsibility for your well-being, then that will have to suffice."

Then, inexplicably, a small smile appeared on her face.

"You don't seem like a bad sort, so I'm willing to give you the benefit of the doubt. After all, you're the first human we have had the honor of having in our little town. Welcome to Ponyville, Mr. Dave."

As if urged on by her words, many ponies in the crowd burst into sundry exclamations of “Welcome!” and “Hello!”, their faces lighting up with bright, cheery smiles.

It was such a warm welcome, and by such good-natured creatures, that I hardly knew what to say. Even after the mayor's suspicions, she was still allowing me to stay, at least until I got some answers, and had even encouraged such behavior in her townsfolk. It seemed too good to be true.

I looked down at Pinkie, who was beaming up at me. I returned the smile, the first genuine one I really had since this whole mess started. The ponies dispersed back to their doings, though they occasionally glanced back at me and Pinkie, talking excitedly.

“They like you already!” said Pinkie.

“Wow. I must admit, that went pretty well. I was afraid they’d think I was dangerous. But there really have been humans in Equestria before?”

“I guess so. Twilight’s usually the one to turn to for that smarty-brainy stuff.”

“Twilight?”

“She’s the friend who might be able to answer your big ‘what-happened’ question! She’s one of my bestest best pals! And I’ve got 6 of them!”

“Wow. That’s quite a lot.”

“I know, right? I’m gonna introduce you to all of them!”

“Well, now, wait a minute," I said. "I just want to know how I got here and how to get back. I don’t want to cause a huge hassle here.”

“Aw, please?” asked Pinkie, pouting sadly.

Now that face was too cute to just say no to. Besides, she seemed very earnest about it, and seemed to trust me enough to introduce me, so what else could I do but humor her? I sighed.

“It would be an honor to meet your ‘bestest-best’ friends,” I said, with a gracious bow.

“YAY!” she squealed. “First stop, Twilight’s house: the Golden Oak Library! Come on, Davie, time’s a-wasting!”

With that, and again, without waiting for me, she bolted off. Sighing wearily, both from this, and from having somehow earned the nickname ‘Davie’, I hurried after her.


***


At the mention of a library, I was actually quite interested. I was an avid reader, especially of the classics, and if this ‘Twilight’ had something to do with the library, she might be a pony I wouldn’t be sorry to meet, if not just for the possibility of answers.

As we went, Pinkie pointed out various landmarks, like the mayor's office, or the sweet shop. She must have been trying to give me a tour along the way. However, she was so far ahead of me that I could barely make out which building she was talking about at what time.

In due course, we arrived at what looked like a large tree, but it was outfitted with a door, balcony, and several windows. There was even a sizable beehive hanging from one of its branches. Pinkie bounced right up to the door and knocked. No one answered. Undeterred, she knocked again.

“Twilight? Spike?” she called. “Anypony home?”

“Spike? Who’s Spike?” I asked. “Her pet dog?”

“Don’t be silly, silly! Spike’s Twilight’s dragon friend!”

She said this completely matter-of-factly, but that didn’t stop me staggering back in shock.

“D-Dragon?? There’s dragons in this country??”

“Yepperoony!”

She turned to look at me, and saw how pensive I was.

“Oh. Sorry, I should have said before. He’s only a baby dragon.”

“Er…how much consolation is that, exactly?”

Pinkie giggled. 

“Relax, silly! If he were dangerous, would he be one of my friends?”

This dragon was one of her friends? Looking at how nutty this pony seemed to be, I shouldn’t have been surprised.

“I suppose not,” I said.

“He’s just the sweetest, cutest little guy you’ll ever meet! But it doesn’t look like they’re home.”

She peered through one of the windows.

“They usually never leave the library at this time of day, and even then, Spike’s usually here to watch it. Ohh, I really hope nothing bad happened. Twilight hasn’t been hitting the books, has she? I told her she should just read them instead of hitting them…”

I cast Pinkie a quizzical glance at this statement, but decided to drop it. It figured that the one pony who could possibly answer my question was not answering her door. Did this mean I wasn’t going to be going home anytime soon? What was I supposed to do?

“Are you ok, Davie?” Pinkie asked. “You look worried.”

“Huh? Oh, sorry, Pinkie. I was just thinking. What if this Twilight doesn’t have the answers I’m looking for? What if we’re back to square one about my situation? I could be stranded in an unknown land, all alone for who knows how long…”

“But you’re not all alone!” said Pinkie, coming to my side. “You’ve got me, and I’m not going to just abandon you like that. What kind of friend would I be if I did that?”

I looked down at her in some surprise.

“You actually want to be my friend?” I asked. “I know you said so earlier, but I didn’t think you were serious.”

“What do you mean?” asked Pinkie. “I always mean what I say.”

“But why? I’m nothing like what you ponies are used to. I don’t have hooves or a coat of fur or one of those butt symbols or anything!”

“Butt symbols?” Pinkie asked, puzzled, before exclaiming, in realization, “Ohh, you mean our cutie marks!”

Cutie marks? Oh, good grief...

“Yeah, those. Point is, what makes me stand out to you as a friend, when you don’t know anything about me, and all I’ve done is freak out and scream?”

Pinkie stepped away from my side and sat in front of me, on her haunches, looking me straight in the eye with a sober expression that belied her silly appearance.

“Because I feel like I can trust you. I can see something in your eyes, in your face. You’ve got a ‘nice guy’ face to you, one that wouldn’t belong to a meany-pants.”

Curious, I felt my face, along my chin and cheeks. It was true, I had been told I looked ‘harmless’, but I hardly knew what that was supposed to entail: kind of pouchy cheeks, soft brown eyes behind a pair of glasses, heavy brows, thin beard. I figured mine was a typical “nerd” face, belonging to a quiet, sort of geeky type of person.

Pinkie, still with that oddly serious expression on her face, reared up, and put her forelegs around me.

“I’ll be here for you,” she said, softly, “and look after you until we find the answers you need. That’s what friends do, and I want to be your friend.”

I stared down at her, surprised. She was dedicating herself to the well-being of someone she barely knew, someone who literally dropped out of the sky before her, someone who could have been potentially dangerous, not even asking for anything in return.

“You really want to be my friend?” I asked again. “You want to look after me?”

“I do,” said Pinkie. “Will you be my friend too?”

She looked up at me with with those big, baby-blue eyes and that smile. Now I knew what she meant when she spoke about faces one could trust. I could really see someone I could rely on in this pony: a companion, a protector...a friend.

“...Yes,” I said, finally. “However long I may be here, I would be honored to call you my friend.”

Pinkie’s face lit up like a lighthouse beacon, and she tightened her embrace, while I in turn put my arms around her. Her tail wagged happily.

“Thank you,” I whispered.

I don’t know how long we stood that way, but eventually we released each other, and I was feeling a little better.

“Well, if Twilight’s not home,” I said, “what do we do now?”

“I know exactly what we can do!” said Pinkie. “I can introduce you to the rest of my friends! They shouldn’t be too hard to find.”

Well, there was nothing else to do for now, so it was the only option we had.

“Lead on, then, Pinkie,” I said.

“Yes, sir, Davie, sir!” said Pinkie, saluting.

With a bound, she began bouncing away again, and all I could do was rush after her, trying to keep up.

> A Dash of Rainbow
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

As we went along, Pinkie kept looking up at the clouds, as if expecting to see something up there. Perhaps one of her friends was a pegasus. Suddenly, she pulled to a stop, so quickly that I stumbled againt her.

“Pinkie, what-”

“There!”

She pointed excitedly with her hoof. I looked up, and for a second, I could have sworn the cloud she was indicating was letting loose a rainbow far away. But Pinkie called out, “Rainbow DAAAASH!” in a loud singsong, and the rainbow twitched.

It was a pony’s tail!

There was a noise like the roar of a jet plane as something left the cloud, making it dissipate, and a rainbow trail seemed to emanate from the spot. With a flap of wings and clatter of hooves, a female pegasus pony landed in front of us.

She was Pinkie’s size, but slimmer in build, with a light-blue coat, magenta-colored eyes, and a messy mane and tail streaked with all of the colors of the rainbow. Her cutie mark, as Pinkie said those things on their flanks were called, resembled a cloud letting loose a rainbow-colored lightning bolt.

“Hey, Pinks! What’s going on?” she asked.

Her voice was raspy and rather boyish. When she had landed, she had hardly taken notice of me, but when she finally did, she jumped about a foot in the air. Then, landing back on all four hooves, she took a defensive stance, glaring suspiciously at me. Honestly, if I hadn’t been so nervous of what she might do to me, I’d have said she looked kind of cute when she was riled.

“What’s going on here?” she asked. “Is this big ape giving you a hard time? I’ll fix him for ya!”

She pawed the ground, looking about ready to charge, so I couldn’t resist flinching backwards.

“Dashie, it’s ok!” said Pinkie. “He’s my newest friend!”

The pegasus looked up at Pinkie, a look of incredulity on her face.

“Friend? Boy, Pinkie, I knew you made friends with everypony, but I never expected this.”

She nodded with her head towards me, and I couldn’t help but feel insulted at being referred to as ‘this’.

“He’s not a monster, Rainbow Dash,” said Pinkie, exasperated. “He’s a human.”

“A human?” asked Rainbow Dash, surprised. “Come on, Pinkie. There hasn't been a human in Equestria in forever! They're just an old pony’s tale these days.”

"Well, not anymore," said Pinkie, proudly. "Thanks to Davie, here."

“'Davie'? You already named it?” 

Rainbow Dash put a hoof to her temple in exasperation. 

“Pinkie…you’re not supposed to name these things.”

“But Rainbow, he isn’t-”

“Once you name it, you start getting attached to it!”

This was too much for me. Insulted and angry, I said,

“Now hold on a second! You’ve got a lot of nerve, miss! I’m not some brainless animal who feasts on tree leaves and does his business in the bushes. Pinkie didn’t catch me or train me or even name me; she found me out in the fields! If you'd just let her explain everything, this wouldn't be happening right now!”

Rainbow Dash took a step back, floored by my tone. Pinkie looked between the two of us with apprehension on her face, worried of what might follow. However, I felt no desire to pursue the course like a ranting lunatic, so I sighed and said, in a calmer tone,

“I can understand why you’d feel mistrustful of me. When I first saw Pinkie here, I wasn’t sure what to think. There are no talking ponies where I come from, so it was kind of a shock to me. I’m not here to cause anyone problems. I’m just looking for a way back, however long that may take. So, what do you say? Can we start over?”

I held out my hand to her. Rainbow Dash looked from it to me, then to Pinkie, who was still watching steadily. At last, her eyes on me, she said,

“Yeah, maybe I did fly off the handle a bit. See, in Cloudsdale, we were told stuff about humans: things that look like hairless apes. We trusted the sky more than the ground, and there were never any sightings of humans in the sky, so we never really bothered to find out more about them. We just assumed what was passed around and taught to us from the old history books.”

So it was just a big, widespread misunderstanding…but what was ‘Cloudsdale’?

“You don’t seem bad," Rainbow Dash went on, "and if Pinkie trusts you, I guess I can too. She can be pretty weird sometimes- no offense, Pinkie-”

“None taken!” said Pinkie, cheerily.

“But she’s never wrong about this kinda thing.”

She looked up at me with a smile and held out a hoof. Pinkie beamed. I smiled back and finally shook hers.

“Glad we could settle that," I said. "So, you’re one of Pinkie’s best friends?”

“Yep!” she said, throwing a hoof around Pinkie’s shoulders. “Pinkie’s one of my best buds, especially when it’s a good day for pranking.”

“Aw, Dashie,” said Pinkie.

“Pranking?” I asked. “I didn’t take you for a prankster, Pinkie.”

“Oh, I love pranking, as long as it’s in good fun. It’s no fun pranking if you hurt the prankee.”

“What kind of pranks are we talking about?" I asked. "Whoopie cushions, joy buzzers, invisible ink?”

“For your soft-core pranking, maybe,” said Rainbow Dash, “but if you wanna be remembered as a prank master, you gotta step up your game. Next April Fools Day, the Pinkster and I are breaking out the big guns!”

Big-gun-style pranking? I shuddered to imagine such a thing.

“So tell me about you, big guy,” said Rainbow. “I’m kinda curious about what makes a human tick, if you’re not like what we've thought they'd be. What do humans like to do?”

“Me? Well, gosh, I wouldn’t really know where to start. There’s kind of a gaping hole in my memory at the moment; can’t recall how I got here or what I was doing.”

“Really? Wow, lame.”

“Sorry, I know. It’s no fun for me, either. What I can say is that I’m not much of an outdoors person. I prefer reading indoors, or listening to music.”

“Ohh,” said Rainbow, comprehending. “An egghead.”

“Excuse me?” I asked, indignantly.

“No, Davie, it’s ok,” said Pinkie. “She calls Twilight that sometimes, but not to be mean.”

“Yeah, it doesn’t mean anything,” said Rainbow. “Heck, I like reading too. Nothing to be ashamed of. Still, where I’m at my best is in the air, showing my stuff with these babies!”

She flexed her wings, which had an impressive span, and gave the impression of a mighty eagle about to take flight. Still, from her tone and expression, I could sense quite a bit of ego sharing space with her more well-meaning attitude.

“So, you’re into sports?” I asked.

“Heck yeah! Racing, mostly. Nopony can beat me when I’m in the air. See this baby?”

She turned to the side, showing the lightning bolt cutie mark on her flank.

“This means I was born to be the fastest in Equestria!”

“Is that what a...what did you call it, Pinkie?”

“Cutie mark," supplied Pinkie.

“Ah, right. Is that what a cutie mark does? Tells you what you’re born to be?”

“You don’t know about cutie marks?” asked Rainbow Dash, tilting her head. “Don’t the ponies back where you come from have anything like them?”

“No.”

“Huh," said Rainbow Dash. "Weird. Pinks, you wanna field this one?”

“Sure, Dashie!”

Pinkie turned to me with a purposeful expression, much like a schoolteacher before a class. Not only that, but she also pulled, from out of nowhere, a chalkboard, a pointer stick, and a mortarboard, which she perched atop her messy mane.

“Davie, just sit tight and let Professor Pinkie Pie educate you,” she said, tapping the board.

(Professor Pinkie Pie. Oh brother.)

“Y’see, ponies aren’t born with cutie marks. Their flanks are blank. Buuuut, when they find out what makes them special, boom! A cutie mark appears! Good at writing? Boom! Writing cutie mark! Good at swimming? Boom! Swimming cutie mark! Good at baking? Boom! Baking cutie mark!

(I wish you’d stop saying ‘boom’ like that so close to my ear…)

“So, what do yours and Rainbow Dash’s stand for?” I asked.

“Well, like Dashie said, hers means she’s really good at flying fast," said Pinkie. "Mine means I’m good at throwing parties!”

“Parties?”

“Uh-huh! Any kind of party: surprise, birthday, slumber, holiday, get well, you name it, I can throw it! And you wanna know the best part about throwing so many parties?”

“What’s that?”

“All of my best friends are always there, cuz everypony’s my friend, and I mean everypony, and I get to make all of them smile! If smiles were money, I’d feel like the richest pony in Ponyville, but I’m already the luckiest to have such great friends!”

Rainbow Dash smiled at her pink friend, while I couldn’t help feeling slightly stunned. Pinkie’s niche in life was making those around her happy, and all she wanted in return was the knowledge that she made them smile? That was...very admirable. It was very rare that I knew anyone who expended everything in their power to get something done just to see a smile on someone’s face. The world needed more people like Pinkie Pie…

“Davie?”

“Huh?”

“You keep spacing out," said Pinkie. "You sure you’re ok?”

“Y-Yeah, I’m fine. Sorry. Once I get hooked on a thought, it takes a bit to get me out of it.” I cleared my throat and went on, “So, you race for a living, Rainbow Dash?”

“It’s more of a hobby, really,” she said. “All pegasi, or most, anyway, operate the clouds for day-to-day weather. I’m chief weathermare in Ponyville.”

“Oh, I see.”

…Wait, what did she say?

“Whoa-whoa, wait a second…operate the clouds? You’re telling me the weather doesn’t work by itself?”

“Nope. Does it where you come from?”

“Uh, yeah," I said, unable to keep a 'no duh' tone out of my voice. "That’s how it’s always been for us.”

“Wow," said Rainbow. "No offense, dude, but you come from a pretty weird place: ponies that don’t talk, don’t have cutie marks, and don’t work the weather.”

(I’M the weird one?! This coming from a pony with a Skittles mane.)

“We make and send out all weather from Cloudsdale,” Rainbow went on. “That’s the pegasus capital, in case you didn’t know.”

“Wow," I said. "I never thought I’d see the day when the weather couldn’t even handle itself. They’ll love this back home…So, is that all pegasus ponies do? Work the weather and fly?”

“Nah,” said Rainbow. “When I’m not busting clouds or busting moves-”

“Or napping,” Pinkie interjected.

“Or napping,” Rainbow consented, giving Pinkie a dirty look, before continuing, in a more zealous tone, “I train for my next big chance.”

“Chance at what?”

“Trying out for the Wonderbolts!”

She pointed with her hoof to a poster on a building nearby. On it were pegasi in blue bodysuits and aviator goggles, one flying so as to leave a trail of smoke behind it.

“Wonderbolts?" I asked. "Are they like stunt performers?”

“More than that, dude! They're the best fliers in all of Equestria!”

“And you want to be one of them?”

“It’s only been my dream since fillyhood!” said Rainbow, her face splitting into a blissful grin. “To fly with the best of the best, and show Equestria my skills!”

She broke out of her dreamy look almost instantly when I spoke up again.

“So, you plan to be one of them just because you’re born to fly fast? I mean, no offense, but what would you have to offer?”

“Plenty!” said Rainbow, sharply. “I’m not just about speed, monkey boy: I can pull off tricks like nopony else! You haven’t lived until you’ve seen my Fantastic Filly Flash, or my Buccaneer Blaze!”

“Or your Sonic Rainboom!” said Pinkie.

“Sonic what-now?” I asked.

“Ahh, right,” said Rainbow, proudly. “My most awesome technique. I’ve only done it three times in my life, the first when I was only a filly. It’s how I got this.”

She once again showed me her cutie mark.

“It was during a big race against some jerky colts who were picking on a friend of mine. One of them cut me off, so I went into a wicked nose-dive, and the next thing I knew, I had pulled off a Sonic Rainboom.”

“But what is a Sonic Rainboom?” I asked, intrigued.

Rainbow looked aghast.

“You don’t know what a…? You’ve never seen a…?!”

She sounded like she was about to choke. She gripped me by the shoulders and shouted,

“What rock have you been living under, dude?!”

(A rock called the ‘real world’, missy.)

“Dashie,” said Pinkie, patiently. “He’s not from here. They probably don’t have Sonic Rainbooms where he’s from.”

Rainbow released me and said, in a calmer tone,

“Ok, monkey man, I’ll try to explain it in a way you can understand.”

(If you call me a monkey one more time…)

”Imagine a sonic boom and a rainbow, mixed together into one big feast for the eyes and ears,” said Rainbow, with great reverential enthusiasm in her voice.

In my head, I pictured a supersonic jet breaking the sound barrier, leaving a rainbow trail behind it as it did so. That did sound really impressive, to have done something like that when she was so young. She may have been boastful, but she looked like she was just itching for me to say ‘Prove it’.

“Well, from what you’ve described, Rainbow Dash,” I said, “I may have to redact my skepticism.” 

“How’s that?” asked Rainbow. “And in normal words this time.”

“At least where I come from, you would make an invaluable team member with a move like that. It’d drive the crowds wild at air shows, or wherever these Wonderbolts perform. It even has a nice ring to it: ‘Rainbow Dash, the Wonderbolt’.”

I made a small sweeping gesture with my hand, like people do when they envision newspaper headlines. She looked at me for a moment, and then smiled again.

“You know something, new guy?” she asked. “You’re all right.”

She gave me a punch on the arm with her hoof, in a playful way, but it was still somewhat forceful.

“I can’t wait for us to hang out some more,” she went on.

“Well, I’d love to see some of your tricks," I said, without thinking.

“Then I’ll save the best for ya. Later, guys!”

With a sweep of her mighty wings, she took off back toward the clouds, Pinkie waving after her.

“Boy,” I said, “that pegasus is something else.”

“Isn’t she? There’s nopony in Equestria like Dashie.”

With an ego like hers, thank God for that.

At that moment, my stomach let forth a loud rumble. I’d lost track of time, and it must have been close to midday by that point. At this, I was brought to a sudden, somewhat unpleasant realization. I was in a world populated by talking ponies. There was no way they would have any form of meat to eat, which was a shame, because I was no dainty when it came to carnivorous consumption. On the other hand, I wasn’t too far gone down that path (meaning I could satisfy myself with non-meats if need be), and, if there was nothing else for it, I would have to settle for the more vegetarian diets these ponies would have to offer.

At any rate, Pinkie had heard my dissatisfied innards and had hopped to her hooves in a flash.

“Oh! You must be hungry! Well, there’s only one way to solve that! Actually, there’s two ways, but I’ll let you choose. One is we could go to Sugarcube Corner, where I work, and the other is we could go see another of my friends at Sweet Apple Acres, which is an apple farm.”

“Well, if it’s all the same to you, Pinkie," I said, "I’d rather kill two birds with one stone and-”

At this, Pinkie gasped.

“Why would you want to kill any birds at all??”

I sighed and rolled my eyes.

“It’s an expression, Pinkie, and I’ll admit, it’s a bit vulgar. What I meant was, going to this Sweet Apple Acres might get two objectives accomplished at once: meeting another of your friends and getting some food in me.”

“Yay! Smart thinking! That’s what I would have said! Come on, then, Davie! It’s this way!”

I had barely enough time to scramble to my feet before she bounced off again, myself not too far behind.

> An Apple Family Brunch
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Rustic.

That was the one word I could come up with as we approached Sweet Apple Acres, which was around a mile or so outside of town. It was an old-fashioned apple farm, with a big barn and windmill and everything, but those were just the usual fixings. The rest of the land was devoted to row upon row upon row upon row of apple trees, of all the sizes and colors I recognized apples usually were. However, there was something about these apples that astounded me. They seemed…fresher and juicier in appearance than the apples I saw at the local grocery store. The smell coming from them was intoxicatingly sweet and fragrant, and made me hungrier.

“One of your friends works here?” I asked Pinkie, as we stopped under a tree.

“Yep! I just hope she’s not too busy right now.”

“If she is, it might be a good idea not to disturb her,” I said. “Farm work can’t be easy for even one-OW!!”

I was interrupted unpleasantly. Something had knocked against the tree with a loud thud, and a big, ripe apple had clonked me right on the crown of my head, followed by dozens more, which landed into buckets set around the trees. I hadn’t noticed those before.

“Pinkie, what did you do that for?!” I snapped, rubbing my head.

“That wasn’t me!” said Pinkie, defensively.

“Whoops! Sorry, ya’ll. Didn’t know anyone was back there.”

The voice that said this was a hardy female’s, bearing a thick Southern accent. An Earth pony stepped out from the other side of the tree. Her coat was orange, with a straw-yellow mane and tail loosely tied up like, heaven forgive me for making such an obvious pun, ponytails. She had green eyes, small white freckles on her cheeks, and a brown Stetson hat on her head. Her cutie mark was a trio of red apples. She had a stout, stocky build, one that seemed appropriate for strenuous labor. Her expression, on the other hand, was very friendly and inviting, as if she were someone you could talk to about anything.

“Howdy, Pinkie Pie!” she said, recognizing my companion. "What brings ya round these...parts?"

This last word, separated by a pause, was spoken as she caught sight of me, and she gave something of a start. She looked me over, staring from my sneaker-clad feet to my head, and gave a low whistle.

“Land sakes…” she said, in a low voice. “Yer a...a human, ain’tcha?”

“Er, yes, I am,” I said.

”Ah never imagined Ah’d be seein’ an honest-to-goodness human in mah born days. Thought they were just one of Granny’s stories.”

“AJ, this is Dave,” said Pinkie. “He fell out of the sky!”

She said this so proudly and matter-of-factly that the Earth pony gave her a weird look, but said nothing.

“Davie, this is Applejack," she went on.

“It’s a pleasure,” I said, extending my hand.

Next second, I found myself jittering as if I were inside a blender. Applejack had taken my hand in both of her hooves and was shaking it vigorously. She had surprising strength in those legs of hers.

“Same to you, sugar!" she said, beaming. "We here at Sweet Apple Acres always like making new friends, even if they ain’t exactly ponies, and if yer pals with Pinkie, then Ah reckon that's good enough for me.” 

She finally released my hand, which I was quite glad of. 

“So, what brings ya'll 'round here?”

“We’ve got a hunger crisis on our hands, AJ!” said Pinkie, in a surprisingly serious tone. “Poor Davie’s gonna starve if we don’t get something for his belly soon!”

I rolled my eyes.

“It’s not that serious, Pinkie,” I said, but Applejack chuckled.

“So ya’ll came to see me for some vittles? Ah suppose we did make a fair bit more than need be, in case any neighbors showed up, and we were about to break for lunch, so Ah don’t see why not.”

“Aw, now, I don’t want to impose-”

“You ain’t imposin’. Ah’m sure mah family would be glad to have ya, and Pinkie Pie’s practically family as well. Follow me.”

I was about to protest, but Pinkie nudged me forward, and all I could was comply. We followed Applejack past more apple trees until we reached the barn, more specifically a farm house settled beside it. From inside, the smell of something hot and sweet wafted through the open window, assaulting my nostrils with a wonderful sensation.
Applejack led the way inside, calling out,

“Granny! Set the table for two more! We’ve got guests!”

“All righty, Applejack,” came an old woman’s creaky voice. “Who’s come?”

“Pinkie Pie and a new friend of hers. He’s not quite from these parts.”

Now there was the understatement of the century…

“Big Macintosh!” called the voice. “We’re gonna need two more chairs. Applejack’s brought company!”

“All right, Granny,” called a deep, drawling voice.

“Are you sure I’m not imposing?” I asked, unsure.

“Don’t you fret,” said Applejack, kindly. “It’ll be our pleasure.”

“You’re very kind to open your door to a stranger, let alone one like me.”

“Well, Pinkie Pie seems to think you’re all right, so who am Ah to argue?”

I looked down at Pinkie. First the mayor, then Rainbow Dash, now Applejack? Did everyone see her as an infallible judge of character?

There was a thud of something wooden through the door nearby, and then the elderly voice called,

“Come and get it!”

Applejack led us into the kitchen, where a table was already set for six, with plates, utensils, and big platters and bowls full of what appeared to be baked goods all made from apples. It made me wonder if this family ever got tired of them.

Applejack’s relatives were already there, and looked up as we entered, their eyes widening in astonishment upon seeing me.

“Dave," said Applejack, "Ah’d like you to meet mah brother, Big Macintosh, mah sister, Apple Bloom, and mah grandma, Granny Smith.”

Big Macintosh was a stallion close to my own height, with a strong, sturdy look about him. He had a red coat and orange mane, with green eyes, a rather mellow look about him, and freckles like Applejack. His cutie mark was a green apple split in half. Apple Bloom was a little yellow filly with orange eyes and a red mane done up with a large pink bow. Unlike the others, she had no cutie mark. I hadn’t seen a filly this close before, and, if I was to be perfectly honest...she was downright cute, like a little puppy. Granny Smith was an elderly green mare with her white mane and tail done up in buns. Her cutie mark was an apple pie. Despite her tired, wrinkled face, she looked the most astonished to see me, while Apple Bloom was gazing with wide-eyed wonder, and Big Macintosh merely elevated his eyebrows in curiosity.

“Everypony,” said Applejack, “this here’s Dave. Pinkie Pie here’s showing him around Ponyville, and he decided to stop by and say howdy.”

“It’s ok, everypony,” said Pinkie. “He’s harmless.”

“Er, how do you do?” I said, shyly.

Big Macintosh nodded pleasantly, and Apple Bloom smiled adorably up at me. Granny Smith, on the other hand, looked at me with intense attentiveness. I wondered if she thought I was going to attack them; Hell hath no fury like a protective matriarch. Finally, she said,

“You a human, sonny?”

“Yeah, I am.”

“Figured so. I'd heard tales from my own grand-folks, but I never thought I’d see me a human in Equestria in my own lifetime. Ain’t ever been one in Ponyville before, but you look like how mah grand-folks described them in the old tales.”

“And, er...what were those humans like?”

“Mm...can’t quite remember, to be honest, but you seem like a nice enough feller, and if Applejack trusts ya, Ah don’t see why Ah shouldn’t.”

Her wrinkled face cracked into a smile. Applejack let out a sigh of relief. It seemed like she had been on tenterhooks to hear her grandmother’s judgement.

“That’s very gracious of you, Miss Granny Smith,” I said.

“All right, ya’ll,” cut in Applejack, “let’s get eatin’ before the grub gets cold.”

With enthusiastic assent, the Apple family settled down to eat. Little Apple Bloom had insisted on sitting beside me, so Applejack took to my other side, and Pinkie sat between her and Big Macintosh, who sat quite at his ease next to Granny Smith despite his size. The first bite I took of the apple pie...how could I even describe it? It was heavenly! The sweet taste of fresh-picked, baked apples, mixed with cinnamon and light, flaky pie crust...It was like a choir singing an aria in my mouth, and it took me a while to will myself to finish chewing and swallow. It was also then that I noticed that Apple Bloom was plugging me with questions.

“So, where do ya come from, mister? Is it far from here? What’s it like? Are there more like you? What are the ponies there like? Gosh, Ah can’t wait to tell mah friends about this!”

“Hush, Apple Bloom,” said Applejack. “Don’t badger the poor feller.”

“Ah wasn’t badgering him,” said Apple Bloom, defensively.

“Well, can’t ya see he’s tryin’ to eat?”

“Oh. Sorry, mister.”

“It’s fine, Apple Bloom,” I finally said. “In fact, it’s nice to know ponies have an interest in where humans come from, instead of just seeing us as weird aliens.”

“Back in my grand-pappy’s day,” said Granny Smith, “he used to tell us how he heard about humans off in the distant corners of Equestria, but anypony that had sighted them either never came back or didn’t believe what they saw. Never did find out if them stories were true.”

“Eeyup,” said Big Macintosh, in his deep voice.

And...that was it. That was all he had to say? 'Eeyup'?

"Not very encouragin' for your sake," said Applejack, snapping my attention back into place.

“I can imagine,” I muttered. “Stories like that kinda makes me sound like a boogeyman. I don’t even know where Equestria lies compared to where I come from.”

“Where do you come from?” asked Apple Bloom.

“A country called America.”

“A-mare-ica?” asked the filly, tilting her head. “Does that mean there’s lots of ponies there too?”

“Huh?” I asked, puzzled, before the meaning of her words hit me. “Ohh! Oh. No, no, Apple Bloom, I didn’t mean ‘mer’ as in ‘mare’. It was named that by an explorer who mapped it. There are ponies there, but, uh...they don’t talk, fly, or anything.”

“Really?” asked Applejack. “Must be right dull for them. So this ‘America’ only has mute Earth ponies?”

“And horses, yeah, but don’t get me wrong: they can be very hard-working when they need to be.”

“Now that’s what Ah like to hear,” said Applejack, smiling. “And none of them dress up or nothin’?”

“Not really, except for very special circumstances, though I kinda like the way you pull off the Stetson look, Applejack.”

“Aw, thanks,” said Applejack, modestly, giving the brim of her hat a tug. “Ah just couldn’t help imagin’ Rarity goin’ nuts tryin’ to gussey up yer ‘American’ ponies.”

“Rarity?” I asked.

“She’s one of our friends. She runs Ponyville’s fashion boutique. Kind of a priss, but she’s got a good head on her shoulders.”

“Don’t worry, Davie. That’ll be our next stop, I promise!” said Pinkie, sounding as if I were sorely missing out on something. 

“Really, Pinkie, there’s no need to get so worked up,” I said.

“In fact, I Pinkie Promise!” she said, emphatically, acting as if she hadn’t heard me. "Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!"

She went through the motions of crossing her heart with her hoof, then placing that hoof over one eye. Applejack nudged my side and muttered,

“Word of advice, sugarcube: when you make a Pinkie Promise, you stick to it. Otherwise, things might turn ugly.”

“Did you say something, Applejack?” Pinkie asked, sweetly.

“Nuthin’, Pinkie,” said Applejack, with a rather fixed grin.

No more was said on the subject, but I was curious. Things might turn ugly if you broke a Pinkie Promise? What did that mean, exactly? Was Pinkie so adamant about promises that she would personally punish anyone who broke them? Honestly, I couldn’t imagine this plump little pony performing any kind of physical harm on anyone.

“So, Applejack?” I piped up.

“Yeah?”

“We ran into Rainbow Dash before we came here.”

Applejack grinned.

“Did ya now? Ah hope she didn’t bore ya’ll with another of her ‘why Ah’m so awesome’ rambles.”

“Nah, though she did seem to take great pains to magnify her image. Is she always like that?

“Yeah, but don’t let it fool ya. She’s got a big ego, and she can be pretty dern arrogant, but under all that, Rainbow’s got a good heart. Always there for a pony in a pinch.”

“Sounds like she’d make quite a town hero.”

“Oh, she was, for a time, and still is now and then, but give her enough leeway, and she’ll let it get to her head.”

“Really? She did come off as kind of a braggart. She said she pulled off some ‘Sonic Rainboom’ when she was only a filly.”

“Heh, yeah, that girl’s always had a competitive streak, but she was born to race. Says so right on her flank.”

“You mean her cutie mark? So yours means you’re born to work this farm?”

“Yep, and dern proud of it. We Apples have always been orchard folk, and we wouldn’t have it any other way. Right, Granny?”

“Darn tootin’!” said Granny.

“Eeyup,” said Big Macintosh.

I couldn’t help but smile at this. I may not have had a clear idea of what it was like to work on an orchard when one had the enthusiasm for it, but this family seemed to cherish their livelihoods with a passion. They were so honest, so friendly. They seemed like the perfect group to call your neighbors.

A small, disappointed sigh came from Apple Bloom, and I looked down at her.

“What’s wrong, Apple Bloom?”

“Ah think Ah know,” said Applejack, in a slightly wearied tone. “She’s still a little sore cuz she doesn’t have her own cutie mark yet. She ain’t the only one, either.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Me and mah best friends, Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo,” said Apple Bloom, looking up at me. “We're Cutie Mark Crusaders.”

“Cutie Mark Crusaders? Is it like a secret club?”

“Sorta. Used to be, but it ain’t really a secret no more We go out and try to discover our talents by doing whatever we can. The only problem is…”

She trailed off.

“You’ve tried nearly everything at this point?” I supplied.

She nodded sadly.

Poor Apple Bloom. Even if I only knew a smattering about cutie marks, it hurt my heart to see such a cute little kid looking so disheartened. I wasn’t much for consolatory speeches, or for saying anything at all, for that matter. I was much more verbose on paper or by keyboard. Still, I had to do something. I picked her up and set her on my knee, like a father about to lecture his child.

“You wanna know something, Apple Bloom?”

“What?”

“I can’t claim to know exactly what you’re going through, but I have a feeling I can take a wild guess, since I’ve had days like that. There’s times when I majorly screw up, or just plain feel down in the dumps, and at those times, I wonder if there’s anything I can do right at all. It’s a bit dramatic, I know, but we all get that way sometimes. The weight of the world’s on our shoulders, and we feel like we can’t make a difference. At those times, all you can do is be you until the time’s right, when you’re ready to embrace your calling.”

I stopped, because I figured what I was spouting were completely random and sappy generalities. The other occupants of the table had their eyes on me, even Pinkie, who had paused in the middle of a bite. Apple Bloom continued to gaze at me, so I cleared my throat.

“My point is, Apple Bloom, life’s like a good book. If you want to fully enjoy it, you can’t just rush ahead to the good part. It takes time and patience, but when you finally get to that point, your patience will be rewarded ten times over. Just the fact that it’s taking this long must mean you and your friends will have the most spectacular cutie marks of all, worthy of admiration because they were allowed to develop and mature.”

She looked at me a little longer, then she smiled.

“You really think so?” she asked.

“I know so,” I said, giving her a little tickle for good measure, making her giggle.

Her older siblings and grandmother smiled warmly at this, and Pinkie was grinning from ear to ear.

“Thanks, Mr. Dave,” said Apple Bloom, giving me a little hug.

“Anytime, kiddo,” I said.

It was funny; I’d never considered myself good with kids, but seeing how I’d made this sweet little filly smile with less effort than I’d imagined, it made me wonder how many other things I’d kept kidding myself on. I can say this, though: these ponies were already starting to help me open my eyes to their world, and it wasn’t even noon!

> A Rare Opportunity
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

After what was probably the best brunch I had ever experienced (and I hadn’t experienced very many official brunches before), Pinkie and I bid farewell to the Apple family. Applejack told me I was welcome back anytime, and had even told me about a couple of special seasons Sweet Apple Acres experienced. One was Zap Apple Season, when the orchards were blessed with the rarest apple of all: the Zap Apple, which was made into a very delicious jam. The other was Cider Season, where the Acres churned out barrel after barrel of homemade apple cider, which was then sold at 2 bits a mug-full (bits, as Pinkie told me, were small gold coins that constituted the staple currency of Equestria).

Both sounded wonderful, but I didn’t know if my stay would even last that long. Still, I was given an enthusiastic farewell from her, her siblings, and her grandmother.


***


Pinkie was a mare of her word, and had directed me back into Ponyville before we made a stop at a very colorful and ornate building in the middle of town. The newly-painted sign read “Carousel Boutique”.

“So, I take it this is where Rarity lives?” I asked.

“Yep! She’s Ponyville’s #1 fashionista!”

“Er, I’ve never been much of a judge of good clothing,” I said.

Too true. I hated shopping when it came to clothes, especially if I was in the company of someone who actually had a mind to purchase. They always seemed to take forever, even when they said they ‘only needed a minute’ or something like that. It drove me nuts…

“You don’t have to be, silly. That’s her job!” said Pinkie. “Now, come on. She shouldn’t be too busy.”

She hopped inside, as if she had been expected, the door making a gentle ring from the bell overhead, which was obviously a signal to alert the proprietor of customers. I followed her in, and found myself in a large room full of equine mannequins, mirrors, and silk curtains. Some of the mannequins were bedecked with dresses of a wide variety of fabrics and colors, some decorated with feathers or sequins, and nearly all of them bestowed upon with at least one type of gemstone.

It was all so…posh, and I bet dollars to donuts the owner, this ‘Rarity’, would be just the same.

“Oh! One moment, please! I’ll be right with you!”

The voice that spoke was a woman’s, very elegant and bearing a cosmopolitan sort of accent, indicating a sophisticated upbringing and manner of living. In a twinkling, Pinkie and I were approached by a unicorn who could be none other than Rarity.

She was pearl-white, or even marshmallow-white, her mane and tail a deep shade of purple, both done in elegant curls. She had dark-blue eyes with very pronounced eyelashes, as well as light-blue eye shadow. She had a slender, curvy-hipped figure that I didn’t doubt made her quite the attention-grabber when stallions were concerned. At any rate, she was quite beautiful. Her cutie mark was a set of three blue diamonds, in the shape of playing card diamonds.

“Hi, Rarity!” chirped Pinkie.

“Hello, Pinkie, dear,” said Rarity. “Good to see you. And who might this-”

She stopped short, gazing up at me. Her irises shrank to mere pinpoints, and she let out a loud “Wah-ha-HAAA!!” of alarm. I was scared that I actually spooked her, but she said, in an aghast voice,

“My goodness gracious, darling, whatever have you been through? Just look at that hair!”

“M-My hair?”

(A human walks into your boutique, and that's the first thing you notice?)

I ran one hand through it. It was true that my hair had been growing out lately, and since I’d run out of the hair gel I usually used to tame it, it was one big jet-black mess. It must’ve looked worse from my having lain down on the grass and running with Pinkie. Not only that, but my jeans were grass-stained, and the gray T-shirt I was wearing was wrinkled and spotted with sweat. It was no wonder she looked so freaked out: I must have looked like a hobo.

“Oh, right. Listen, if you want, I’ll just go and-”

“Go? Oh, no-no-no, don’t carry on that way,” said Rarity, hurriedly. “I wasn’t trying to make you feel bad, darling. I was going to say that, if you were willing, it’s nothing I can’t fix.”

I stared at her in astonishment.

“You mean a haircut? You’d do that, for a perfect stranger?”

“But of course!” she said, with a twinkle of enthusiasm in her eyes, and giving her curls a prim toss, “This is a rare occasion! I’ve never had the honor of helping a human client. You are a human, are you not?”

“Yes, I am.”

“Wonderful! What do you say?”

It was hard to tell whether or not she was speaking out of personal interest or a sense of business. Either way, she was offering, so who was I to refuse?

“Well, I guess it wouldn’t hurt-”

“Splendid! Come this way!”

She led us into an adjoining room, which seemed to be a salon. There were several sinks and mirrors, swivel chairs, hair dryers, and shelves laden with innumerable bottles of different hair and beauty products.

She sat me down in one of the chairs, and before I knew what was happening, a barbering cloak lifted all of its own accord and fixed itself around my neck,. Not only that, but there was a comb and a pair of scissors floating about in the air as well. My heart jumped into my throat.

“G-Ghosts!” I yelped.

With what I’d seen so far of this world, I was ready to believe that ghosts could very well exist!

“Ghosts, darling?” asked Rarity, surprised. “Whatever do you mean?”

“T-The cloak! Those scissors! They’re floating by themselves! Is this boutique haunted?!”

“Oh, no, no, you silly dear,” said Rarity. “I’m just keeping them aloft with my magic.”

“M-Magic?”

I looked at the scissors and comb. They were glowing a faint, soft blue. Then I looked at Rarity, and saw that the same glow was coming from her horn. So...unicorns could use telekinesis? That was what their horns were for: channeling magical energy? 

Magic was real in this world? 

If I hadn’t been so discombobulated, I would have found this revelation immediately amazing!

“Have you never seen unicorn magic before?” Rarity asked.

“N-No, never,” I said. “Not this kind of magic, anyway.”

“But where do you come from, to not know unicorn magic?”

“He came from the sky!” said Pinkie. “The sky had a baby!”

Rarity gave her an odd look, just as Applejack had done.

“I see," she said. "Well, I do hope I didn’t give you too much of a startle, darling.”

“It's kinda my fault," I said. "I had no idea unicorns could use their horns to perform magic. The ones I see in pictures back home look like the horns are mainly for show. In fact, they look dangerous.”

“Dear me,” said Rarity. “Well, let us speak no more about it. Now, how would you like your hair done?”

She levitated a book of hairstyle examples over to me for my perusal. Well, I should say mane style, if I want to be accurate. Still, the way ponies did up their manes in Equestria wasn’t too different from how humans do it back home. I had to be careful about where my eye lingered, especially on the more outlandish ones, because I bet anything Rarity would think I wanted one of those.

At last, I saw one similar to the haircuts I usually got: short, boyish, easy to mold with hair gel.

“Something like that,” I said, pointing to it. 

She peered over my shoulder to see what I was indicating.

“Excellent choice! A nice summer cut, coming right up! It would certainly suit you just fine.”

She began by levitating a spray bottle of water to wet my hair, spritzing it until it was nice and damp. Then, she started running the comb through before snipping away at it with her scissors. Pinkie sat on her haunches beside me to watch.

“Now, why don’t you tell me a bit about yourself? If I'm not mistaken, you were the one making quite a scene in the town square earlier. It quite drove me out of my mind, as I was trying to work.”

“Guilty as charged, I suppose. My name’s Dave.”

“Dave…” she said, mulling it over. She then nodded with a smile. “Not a bad name: short and simple. I’m Rarity, or Miss Rarity, if you prefer, proprietor of Carousel Boutique, where our fashions are chic, unique, and magnifique.”

“Very clever. So, I take it fashion designing is your passion?”

That was almost a dumb thing to ask. It was like asking a thief if he liked expensive things. A blind amoeba could have picked that up as soon as they walked into this place. Rarity, however, didn’t mind the obviousness of it.

“Very much so! It’s simply divine, Dave, to know that after hours, even days, of toiling away at a sewing machine, you’ve created something remarkable, beautiful, and built to last…”

She said this with a fond sort of zeal, and in the mirror, I could see a dreamy look in her pretty eyes.

“It’s not that I think it’s not a good profession,” I said, warily, “it’s just that clothing isn’t really something I think a lot about.”

“No, I suppose not,” said Rarity, in a regretful tone. “It’s a shame that men are never as enthused about making a good appearance. At the most, all they do is slap on any old T-shirt or jacket and be done with it. It’s a crying shame, really.”

“But, don’t ponies usually go around without clothes?”

“Of course, but my point still stands. Why, I can keep Spike in my shop for as long as his little heart desires, but as soon as I begin the topic of smartening him up, he makes a beeline for the door!” She sighed. “Boys…”

“Spike? He frequents your boutique?”

“Certainly. Can’t seem to stay away for too long.”

“But, with him being a dragon, aren’t you worried that he might, you know, singe one of your designs?” I asked.

“Oh, certainly not!” said Rarity. “Spike is a wonderful, well-behaved boy. He would never be so careless. I’ve seen full-grown dragons before, on the other hoof. Perfect brutes, they are, when they’re older…”

“It’s ok, Rarity,” said Pinkie, “I’ve already told him about Spike.”

“Oh?”

“Pinkie’s been a very helpful tour guide for me,” I said, winking at the pink pony, who beamed.

“That’s splendid to hear,” said Rarity, smiling. “If you’re new to Ponyville, the best pony to turn to is Pinkie Pie.”

“Aww, shucks, Rarity,” said Pinkie, with a touch of red to her cheeks.

Yet another vouch for Pinkie Pie’s reliability toward newcomers. Just who was this pony?

Rarity’s hooves (er, I should say, magic), was very skillful. It felt almost exactly the same as if a human barber were working on my hair. As she went on, she made idle chitchat about what had happened to her recently, when so-and-so or what’s-her-face entered her boutique.

“And if you would believe it, she actually had the audacity to say my peacock feathers were dyed! My set of authentic, rare peacock feathers, donated from the royal gardens, dyed?! Why, I’d never heard of such a thing! The very nerve! So, then I said-”

I couldn’t find myself able to keep track of her gossipy rambling, so all I could do was add “uh-huhs” or “mm-hmms” or “oh, reallys”, which seemed to satisfy her. Pinkie was sitting with her eyes wandering around the room, probably lost in her own thoughts. I glanced about the room myself, and my eyes fell on a framed photo, containing four unicorns.

One was unmistakably Rarity, smiling rather embarrassedly, hugging a tall, strongly built stallion with a brown mane and mustache. Across from him was a pink mare with a purple beehive of a mane, and she was hugging a little snow-white filly with a fluffy purple and pink mane, who had a smile so big it was liable to break the boundaries of her cheeks.

“Is that your family?” I asked.

Rarity stopped chatting and looked up, somewhat startled.

“What?” 

She then saw that I was looking at the picture, and a look of relief came over. 

“Oh! Oh, yes. That’s me with my father, mother, and little sister, Sweetie Belle.”

I couldn’t help but chuckle as my gaze lingered on the widely-smiling filly. 

“She’s adorable,” I said.

Rarity smiled gently. 

“She is, truly. She’s such an innocent, sweet-natured filly. A bit rambunctious, perhaps, and there are times when she can be a hoofful, but I wouldn’t trade her for anything in the world.”

“Siblings,” I chimed in. “You can’t live with them, but you can’t live without them.”

“Exactly.”

“Sweetie Belle…" I mused. "I knew I heard that name somewhere before. Apple Bloom said she was one of her friends. She’s a…what was the name for it…Cutie Mark Crusader.”

“Yes, indeed. I can’t even count the number of times those little scamps have been in the boutique, looking for new ways to earn their cutie marks. If it keeps up, I may need to look up a good child-proofing spell.”

She said this with just a hint of exasperation, but I could tell she couldn’t blame them for just being kids. I kinda knew the feeling. I’d spent time volunteering as an assistant for Sunday preschool. The kids could be terrors one minute, but cute the next.

“Er, Rarity? Do you mind if I ask you something?”

“Mm? What is it?”

“Well, it’s kinda something that’s been on my mind ever since I saw you. I wasn’t sure if I should say it, since I figured it might be rude to talk about something like that, but-”

Rarity and Pinkie startled giggling.

“Oh, darling, there’s no need to be so apologetic," said Rarity. "Honestly, you sound just like Fluttershy.”

“Fluttershy?”

“Don’t worry, we’ll get to her,” said Pinkie, winking.

“Er, right. Well, what I wanted to ask, Rarity, is what diamonds have to do with making clothes?”

“Hmm? ...Oh! You mean my cutie mark!”

She turned slightly to let the reflection of those three diamonds on her curvy flank show in the mirror.

“I suppose it does take an imaginative eye to make the connection. I’ve always been good at designing fashion, even as a filly, but it wasn’t until I discovered my true talent that I finally became satisfied with it: bedazzling them with glimmerous gemstones!”

Ohh, so that was why...

“I’d wondered why all of your designs had that kind of motif,” I said. “Is it, er, what’s the term…in vogue?”

“Oh, no, darling. The more bedazzled ones are for especial clients, or for formal occasions, such as a ball or even the Grand Galloping Gala.”

“The Grand Galloping Gala? What’s that?”

“You’ve never heard of the Gala?!” asked Rarity, scandalized. “Why, it’s only one of the most prestigious events in all of Equestria: a grand ball to end all balls!”

“Eh, I’ve never been much of a party person,” I said, indifferently. 

“Oh, my dear, you’re sorely missing out!” said Rarity. “Why, a new suit of clothes, and we’d have you spiffed up and presentable for the streets of Canterlot!”

I raised an eyebrow.

“Canterlot?”

(Great, more pun-tastic pony names…)

“Goodness, Dave, you’ve got much to learn, if you don’t even know the most basic elements of Equestrian culture.”

(Well, ex-cuse me for being new.).

“Canterlot’s Equestria’s capital city, and home to the royal throne, where Princess Celestia watches over our land.”

“There’s that name again," I said. "I heard someone mention it before, but who’s Princess Celestia? What’s she like?”

“Well, I can’t speak personally except for one or two occasions. She’s very noble and benevolent, I can say that. If you want to know more, I’d suggest asking Twilight. She knows more about her than any of us.”

“She does?" I asked, curious. "How so?”

“Oopsie-doopsy!” said Pinkie, “I guess I never told you. Twilight’s the Princess’s best student!”

“Student?!” I asked, astounded. “You mean she studies directly under royalty? ...Wow! What an honor!”

“Yeah! It’s made her super-smart and super-good at magic, too!”

Pinkie, in her exuberance, began bouncing around so much that she almost upset a stack of shelves full of hair products. Rarity righted it with her magic as Pinkie grinned in a sheepishly apologetic way, the unicorn casting her something like a warning look as she reset the bottles.

“She is a clever, sweet girl,” said Rarity. “A visit to Ponyville’s not complete without seeing her.”

“Well, I intend to,” I said, “since she might have answers to some big questions I’m hoping to ask.”

“Big questions?” asked Pinkie. “Like ‘does the light stay on in the fridge when you close it’?”

“What? No.”

“Or ‘why someone’s in the kitchen with Dinah’?”

“Pinkie, did you already forget what our mission was?” I asked.

“Of course not! Get you in to see Twilight so you can talk to her about how you got here! You just never said what else you were gonna ask her, so I guessed!”

She beamed, apparently proud of herself.

“Right,” I muttered. “Well, hopefully I’ll be able to get the right answers, or I might be here even longer, and with only one set of clothes, too.”

Rarity stopped right where she was, an aghast look on her face. She looked as if I had just uttered a dirty word.

“You...only have this one set?” she asked, slowly.

(Uh oh…)

“Er...yes?”

I was half-expecting her to explode into a furious tirade, but instead, she said, in a sympathetic tone,

“Oh, you poor, poor thing! I could never imagine having only one ensemble to survive on! Ugh, it gives me the shivers just thinking about it!”

“I don’t see what the big deal is,” said Pinkie, nonplussed. “Can’t he just go naked like us?”

She did not just ask that.

Please tell me she did not just ask that.

“P-Pinkie!” I spluttered. “Are you nuts?!”

“What?” Pinkie asked. “Everypony else does it.”

“Pinkie, how can you suggest such a thing?!” Rarity asked, sternly. “Obviously, clothing means a great deal to our human friend here, and we shan’t deprive him of the comfort and protection they provide.”

(...Yeah, let’s put it that way.)

“Eh, fine, have it your way,” said Pinkie, shrugging. “I still don’t see why it's a big deal.”

“Wait a moment…” said Rarity, thoughtfully, before she let out a loud gasp. “I-de-a!” she trilled. “Now, hear me out on this, Dave. If, if, mind you, your stay happens to take longer than you expected, would you mind terribly if I designed you some new clothes myself?”

Was she serious? I couldn’t help staring at her.

“Y-You want to make me new clothes?” I asked. “Just like that?”

“Just like that!” said Rarity. “I see you’re fond of a T-shirt and pants ensemble. Well, nothing could be simpler! You just come by here tomorrow afternoon, at, oh...let’s say 2 o’clock, and we can take your measurements. What do you think?”

Her eyes were positively alight with enthusiasm at this idea, as if she were really itching to give this project a go. Still, did I really want to say yes to this? Who knows how long I may even be here? Then again, I just didn’t have the heart to deny her something she obviously wanted to do. With a small sigh, I said,

“Sure, I’ll stop by tomorrow.”

“Wonderful!” she said. “You shan’t regret this, my dear, I promise you that!”

I couldn’t help but smile. For someone so high-class, she was very good-natured. I had always figured people with elitist personalities were a lot more...condescending.

“Well, I think that should do it,” she said finally, moving away and producing a small hand mirror.

I was surprised. I had been so taken up with our conversation that I hadn’t noticed her work. My hair looked just as it did if I had asked a human barber to give the exact same cut I had requested; Rarity certainly had talent.

“How does it look?” she asked.

I turned around in my chair to face her, took her dainty hoof in one hand, and kissed it as a gentleman would a woman’s hand.

“I couldn’t have asked for finer, Miss Rarity,” I said.

It must have been a really hammy display, but it was all in good fun. Rarity giggled and turned red at the cheeks.

“Oh, stop it,” she said. 

With her magic, she whisked the cloak off of me and began dusting the loose hairs off. 

“And don’t worry about payment. This one was on me.”

“Are you sure?” I asked, taken back.

“Indeed. Think of it as a little “welcome to Ponyville” gift.”

“Well, gosh. Thanks, Rarity.”

“My pleasure, dear. I’ll see you here at 2 tomorrow.”

“I shan’t keep you waiting, milady,” I said, standing up.

Pinkie joined me by my side. I gave a low, gracious bow to the matron of the boutique, which she reciprocated in a like manner, and Pinkie and I exited, my head all in a whirl.
> Always the Shy Ones
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Well, that was interesting,” I said, as Pinkie led me along. ”I always thought upper-class people were more…snobbish. But Rarity was really charming: giving me a free haircut and offering to make new clothes for me.”

“Well, she can be kind of a drama queen,” Pinkie admitted, since we were out of earshot, “and she’s really fussy when it comes to dirty stuff, but she’s a great friend: generous to a T! And pretty much every other letter in the alphabet, I’d bet!”

“Er, right. So, who’s this Fluttershy you’re taking me to?”

“Besides Twilight and Spike, she’s the last of my bestest-best friends for you to meet. Oh!”

She stopped and looked at me, as if she had said something she shouldn’t have.

“But I didn’t mean she’s my least bestest-best friend!”

“Relax, Pinkie, I get what you mean,” I said, though I wasn’t entirely sure I actually did.

“Good,” she said, relieved. “She’s so sensitive. She might take it the wrong way if she heard me say that.”

“Aw, really? Sounds like this Fluttershy’s one to tread lightly around.”

“Just don’t be too offended if she’s afraid of you. She’s easily startled.”

(Great, just what I needed to hear: that I may give this poor girl a heart attack…)

Pinkie had led me out of Ponyville once again, and now we were heading toward the edge of a massive, dense forest of trees, the same one I'd seen at a distance when I first woke up. There were a few cawing birds floating above, and a stray cloud here and there. The whole place gave off a very unsettling vibe, as if there was something...off about it.

“What’s that?” I asked.

“The Everfree Forest. We never go in there if we can help it.”

“Why?” I asked, somewhat pensively. “What’s wrong with it?”

“It’s got a bunch of kooky-spooky stuff in it, that’s what’s wrong with it!” 

Pinkie whipped around sharply to face me, nearly scaring me out of my wits. She reared up and placed her hooves on my chest. 

“The plants grow, the animals fend for themselves, and the clouds move…All! On! Their! Own!”

She leaned in so close that her snout was pressed against my nose, her large blue eyes gazing straight into my own brown ones.

“…And that’s bad?” I asked.

“That’s not even the worst of it!” she said, getting off of me. “There’s scary creatures in there, too, like manticores and parasprites and cockatrices-”

A cold chill ran over my limbs, and my heart skipped a beat. Manticores?? Cockatrices?? Like those creatures in mythology? Lions with scorpion tails and chicken-headed snakes that could turn you to stone?! They had those kinds of beasts and dragons to deal with? And here I’d thought this land of colorful talking ponies was all sunshine and lollipops...

“Er…do those monsters ever…ever leave the forest and…attack anyone?” I asked, trying to sound casual, though I must have been doing a poor job of it.

“Nope! They’re fine as long as they get to stay in the forest.”

(Well, good. Let them keep it.)

“You ok, Davie?" asked Pinkie. "You look kinda pale.” 

“I’ll be fine,” I said, though my hammering heart said otherwise.

“Okie-dokie-lokie! Now come on! Fluttershy’s cottage is just near the edge!”

I had started walking, but stopped again.

“Whoa, whoa, back up!” I said.

A few seconds later, I wished I hadn’t said that. Pinkie did back up, literally, only stopping when her rump collided with my stomach.

“Is that far enough?” she asked, tilting her head back to look at me.

“Yes,” I said, wearily. “What I meant was, are you telling me that this Fluttershy, who’s ‘so sensitive’, lives at the edge of a place everyone avoids?”

“Yesiree!”

“…What sense does that make?!” I cried.

“I know it sounds kinda weird, but…well, you’ll understand when we get there.”

With that, she continued on, me still in a state of bewilderment.

At last, we came upon a stone path leading up a hill. There were several birdhouses lined along it, as regular as streetlamps. There was a twittering of birds and the chatter of squirrels in the air. The path led up to a quaint, two-story cottage, one that looked straight out of a fairy tale. In fact, I was half expecting Snow White to come parading out the door followed by seven dwarves and a bunch of woodland animals. Instead, there seemed to be a bit of activity in the grass close by. Pinkie motioned for me to keep quiet as we tread along, and I saw why.

Several forest creatures of all types were gathered together: rabbits, squirrels, chipmunks, and a colorful array of birds. Seated in front of them, smiling placidly, was a pegasus pony, who I guessed at once was Fluttershy.

Her coat was pale yellow; I’d venture to say cream or butter-yellow, myself. She had greenish-blue eyes, and her mane and tail were very long, and the same shade of pink as Pinkie’s coat. Her mane was so long, in fact, that she could have easily hidden her face behind it. She was slender and delicate-looking, almost like a fawn. On her flank was a cutie mark of three pink butterflies. Her whole self seemed to emanate an aura of tranquility.

I can honestly say that when I had heard of her before seeing her, I’d had no idea she would have been so…cute. Those beautiful eyes, that innocent face, that adorable mane...Gah! What was I saying?! This land was rubbing off on me already...

Still, I had no desire to interrupt the tender scene I saw before me, but Pinkie was much less reluctant.

“Fluttershy!” she said, quite loudly.

Fluttershy gave a jump, and her little animal friends scattered. She looked up, and at first seemed glad to see Pinkie, but then her eyes fell on me, and those sea-green pupils contracted to terrified pinpoints. With a squeak, she spread her dainty feathered wings and tore past us, zipping into the cottage and slamming the door behind her. I stared at the door, startled for a moment, then shot a disapproving look at Pinkie.

“What?” she asked, innocently.

“You didn’t have to scare her like that.”

“Me? I didn’t scare her! You did.”

“Not before you yelled her name like that.”

“Did I really yell it?” asked Pinkie.

“Trust me, a bullhorn was no match for you,” I said, dryly.

“Well, don’t worry. I’ll coax Fluttershy out.”

She stepped past me and rapped at the door.

“Fluttershy! Come on out! I just want to introduce you to my friend!”

As she was talking, there was a faint sound, like the squeaking of a window shutter, from behind the house. Pinkie was still persisting in talking through the door, so I snuck around the cottage to look, and unexpectedly found myself eye to eye with the timid pegasus.

I gave a shout of surprise, and at the same time, so did she, and she ran off again in the opposite direction. Pinkie had heard our yells, and turned just in time to see Fluttershy zoom past again.

“Fluttershy! Come back!” Pinkie called, hopping after her.

Fluttershy paid no heed, and instead ran full speed over to a large chicken coop that stood at the back, fenced off where the edge of the forest was nearby. There were a few hens gamboling around outside, which scattered and squawked as Fluttershy ran past, up the ramp, and headlong through the little door. There was another chorus of startled squawks from the chickens inside. Pinkie and I stopped outside the coop. 

“Really, Pinkie, let’s give it up,” I said. “I’m just terrifying the poor thing. She’ll have a heart attack if we keep this up.”

“She just needs to get to know you better,” Pinkie said, and she started making her way up the coop’s ramp.

“You're not going to force her out, are you?"

“No, of course not,” said Pinkie. “She just needs a little nudge in the right direction.”

She stuck her head through first.

“Hi, Fluttershy!”

In answer, there was a squeak, presumably from Fluttershy, though I couldn’t discern what she said afterward, as she spoke so quietly.

“It’s ok, he’s not going to hurt you. Now, come on out.”

There was more indiscernible muttering.

“Aw, don’t be that way. He’s not a monster. Not one from the Everfree Forest, anyway.”

Well, that didn’t completely dispel the theory that I was a monster. Thanks a lot, Pinkie...

“Look, let me come in and I’ll talk you through it. He’s a nice guy, really.”

Pinkie stepped inside the chicken coop, though she briefly got caught at her hips. I supposed the coop was built for Fluttershy’s svelte physique and not Pinkie’s pudgy form. Still, it didn’t take long for her to squeeze inside. I couldn’t hear what they were saying, and it didn’t look like they’d be coming out anytime soon, so I took a seat on the grass to wait. Thankfully, the day was getting on, and it wasn’t as hot as it had been.

I felt something nudge my leg. I looked down, and was surprised to see a little brown rabbit gazing up at me, twitching its nose. It was probably because I had been sitting so still.

“Hi, little fella,” I said, gently. 

I raised my hand to pet it. Naturally, it ducked from my touch at first, but then gratefully accepted the stroking I gave its furry head, down its back. 

“I’ve never actually petted a rabbit before. Weird to think the first would be in a world of ponies.” 

After some time, Fluttershy’s little entourage, perhaps encouraged by my gentle treatment of the rabbit, came to sit by me. I flinched instinctively when some of the birds alighted on my shoulders, but they merely sat to look at me. I was quite flummoxed to be given such attention from these animals; I’d never had such an opportunity before, especially considering how these were all creatures known for being skittish and timid.

There was a light creak of wood from behind me. Turning my head, I saw Fluttershy tentatively stepping out, still obviously nervous. She wavered for a moment or two, but suddenly jumped forward, as if someone had pushed her. Most likely Pinkie giving her a ‘little nudge’. She sat up, a bit dazed, then saw me among the animals and gave a little gasp, her eyes wide. She came over to me swiftly, looking at me intently.

“Hello," I said. 

She remained silent, her eyes still fixed on me and her animal friends. In the ensuing pause, there was another creaking of wood. Pinkie had managed to squeeze herself out and rejoined us, smiling in a proud way, as if pleased she'd gotten Fluttershy to come out.

"I’m sorry if I scared you," I said. "I didn’t mean to. And please don’t be mad at Pinkie. She just wanted me to meet you. I’m Dave.” 

She looked at me a little while longer, and then…

“…I’m Fluttershy.” 

Her voice was very soft, barely louder than a whisper, but very gentle.

“It’s very nice to meet you, Fluttershy,” I said, with a smile. 

She hesitated, then gave me a small smile herself. It had to be one of the most endearing sights I had ever seen. It wasn’t a simple smirk, but a sweet, dimple-cheeked little smile. I felt like I could just give her a hug, but I feared she wouldn’t like that.

“Um…I had no idea you had a way with animals…” she said, looking at her critters.

“Oh, this?" I asked, gesturing to the entourage. “Completely by accident. I’ve never had this much contact or experience with these sorts of animals, but I can guess you have.”

“Mm-hmm.”

She hesitated for a moment, as though unsure of what she was about to say next, then asked,

“Um...what are you, exactly?”

“Me? I’m a human.”

“A hue-man?” questioned Fluttershy, puzzled. “I’ve never heard of that kind of animal before, but you must be very special if you can talk.”

“Well, I wouldn’t exactly call myself an animal, per se,” I said. “Then again, humans do share many similarities with apes.”

“Oh! So a human is kind of like a monkey?”

“If you want to look at it that way,” I said.

Pinkie suddenly let out a snorting giggle, startling both of us.

“What?” I asked, sharply.

“I didn’t think about it when Dashie said it, but you do look kind of like a big monkey!”

She flopped herself onto her back, kicking her legs in a paroxysm of giggles. All I could do was roll my eyes.

“Have you been with Pinkie Pie all day?” Fluttershy asked.

“Yeah. She found me out in the fields, out cold and memory messed up.”

“Oh, dear…”

“Why do you ask?”

“Well, um...you seem used to her...well, Pinkie-ness,” she said, sounding as if she lacked a better term.

“It’s been a little weird,” I consented, “and at first I was pretty freaked out over what I’d landed myself into, but I’m starting to accept it more and more. Pinkie’s proved a very good friend and guide.”

Pinkie looked up from her giggling to smile at me for the praise.

“Wonderful,” said Fluttershy, warmly. “You two make such good friends.”

As if to confirm this, Pinkie gave me an affectionate nuzzle. She was just like an overgrown cat.

“So, Pinkie told me you live right near the Everfree Forest,” I said.

"Yes, that's right."

“And I was a little skeptical. She told me you were…”

I paused, trying to find the right words. Fluttershy looked at me with a kind of hesitant expectation, as if worrying I was about to shoot an insult at her.

“...Delicate,” I said, finally. “Introverted.”

Fluttershy’s look of apprehension faded, and she nodded.

“It’s nothing to be ashamed about,” I added. “I’m not the most sociable of individuals, either.”

“Really?” Fluttershy asked, tilting her head. “I’d never have guessed. You speak so well.”

“Thanks,” I said, pleased in spite of myself. “So do you.”

Fluttershy smiled shyly.

“Anyway,” I said, “like I said, I was a little skeptical about how a pony who prefers being away from conflict can stand to live near a forest that ponies avoid if they can.”

“Easy,” said Fluttershy, who looked completely unabashed. “I have many wonderful animal friends, and the forest is teeming with them.”

“Er, like the manticores or cockatrices?” I asked, trying to sound conversational.

“Some,” said Fluttershy. “Many ponies run away from creatures like that-”

(Of course they would! I would if it were me!)

“-but they just don’t understand them the way I do.”

“Meaning what, exactly?” I asked.

“Fluttershy can talk to the animals!” Pinkie proclaimed, before Fluttershy could answer.

She could...talk to them? As in, Dr. Dolittle-style talk?

That. Was. Cool!

“You can talk to them?” I asked.

“Um...yes,” said Fluttershy, looking embarrassed, but still smiling.

“Wow…” I muttered. “What do they tell you?”

“Many things,” said Fluttershy, at her ease once again. “I would never have known I could speak to them on that level if I hadn’t fallen out of Cloudsdale as a filly.”

“You...fell?” I asked, stunned as the weight of those words hit me. “From the sky?”

“Like you!” said Pinkie, proudly.

Fluttershy stared at me, bewildered, but I said,

“It would take too long to explain. So, you, er, fell from Cloudsdale?”

“Yes, but luckily, I was caught by a roaming colony of butterflies.”

Butterflies? Seriously? Even as a filly, she would have more than likely crushed them with her fall.

“I had never seen the beauty of nature below the clouds before,” Fluttershy went on, “and it was wonderful! It’s when I finally realized who I was meant to be: a friend to the animals.”

She looked at her flank, where the butterfly trio was situated.

“So that’s what your butterflies mean?” I asked. “Well, these animals really do seem to adore you.”

“Thank you,” she said, a slight pink coloring her cheeks.

Suddenly, there was a thumping noise, and Fluttershy looked down. A white rabbit was tapping her side with his little hind foot, looking somewhat miffed. 

“Oh! How rude of me. Dave, I’d like you to meet Angel Bunny. Angel, this is Dave.”

“Hi there,” I said, genially. 

The rabbit gave me a disgruntled look, but gave a curt nod to acknowledge my greeting.

“Please excuse him,” said Fluttershy, apologetically. “He’s not very good with strangers.” 

The rabbit had pulled out, seemingly from nowhere, a very minute day planner, and was showing it urgently to Fluttershy. 

“What is it, Angel? Something about today?” 

She paused, then gasped. 

“Oh goodness! Thank you, Angel! I’d almost forgotten!” 

Angel gave a sigh of relief. 

“Dave, I’m very sorry, but I promised to visit Mother Robin to watch her eggs hatch. They’re scheduled to today.”

“Well, that’s quite an occasion,” I said, not really seeing how it was, but again, deciding to humor her. “I wouldn’t dream of delaying you.”

“Oh, but are you staying in Ponyville long? I’d love for us to meet up again.”

She looked at me with those adorable, sea-green eyes. As desperate as I was to find a way home again, I didn't want to disappoint her. It was like agreeing to watch Rainbow fly, or visit Sweet Apple Acres for its special seasons, or drop by Rarity's for new clothes. I couldn't give a flat-out refusal; I just couldn't.

“So would I,” I said, finally. 

She smiled warmly. 

“Wonderful! It was so nice to meet you, Dave, and…thank you for putting up with me and my, um, little episode.” 

She held out her hoof, and I clasped it warmly in my hand.

“No worries at all, Fluttershy,” I said, smiling in return. “It was very nice to meet you as well.” 

With that, after I let go of her hoof, she turned to follow Angel, who had gone on ahead and was waiting for her. She stopped to take one last look at me, and I saw the gentle smile was still on her face, all trepidation gone. Pinkie and I watched her until she was out of sight. Now that she was, her animal friends eventually took leave of us.

“Isn’t she just the nicest pony you’d ever met?” asked Pinkie.

“More than nice. She’s so polite, so considerate of others. You’re lucky to have such a wonderful friend.”

“Thanks, Davie. And I’m lucky to have you for a friend!” she added, giving me a little bump with her side.

“Right,” I said, with a chuckle. “Now, I guess that just leaves your friends Twilight and Spike for me to meet.”

“Yep! We’ve spent a lot of time today, so maybe we can see if they’re ready for a visit now! C’mon, Davie, vroom-vroom!” 

She hopped to her hooves and started off at her usual bouncing gait, me following close behind.

> Twilight Sparkle
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Once more, Pinkie was hammering away at the front door of the library, while I stood and waited. I swear, this pony had absolutely no sense of tact, but then again, ponies were probably used to that from her.

“Twilight! Spike!” she called. “Anypony home?” 

At last, to her joy and my surprise, the door swung open.

“Oh! Hi there, Pinkie-WHOA!” 

The voice was that of a young male, so I knew it couldn’t be this Twilight. Sure enough, it wasn’t a pony who answered the door, but a dragon. An honest-to-goodness, scale-covered dragon! I couldn’t believe my eyes! 

However, he was one of the smallest creatures I had seen yet, barely coming level with my knee. He had purple scales, green spines running from his head down his tail, which ended in an arrowhead shape, green frills where his ears would have been, and large green eyes with slit pupils. He certainly didn’t look threatening, at any rate. 

He stood gazing at me with wide eyes full of curiosity and wonder, while I in turn gazed at him similarly. He reminded me very much of a little human boy, so it was hard to be truly wary of him for the sole fact that he was a dragon.

“Spike, this is Dave, my new friend!" said Pinkie. "Davie, this is Spike!”

“It’s, uh, nice to meet you,” I said, bending down and offering my hand.

“Er, likewise,” he said, hesitant at first. 

He held out his own clawed hand, and I shook it gently.

“I’ve never seen a live dragon before," I said.

“And you’re a…a human, aren’t you?” asked Spike

“I am.”

“Holy guacamole…This is so bizarre!”

“You’re telling me.”

“And here I was thinking that you were just an old bedtime story in one of Twilight’s books.”

“Funny you should say that: dragons are almost exactly the same way where I come from.”

This exchange of mutuality did at least make us a bit more at our ease. He broke into a small smile, and so did I.

“Where were you guys earlier?” asked Pinkie. “We came here before lunchtime.”

Being addressed by Pinkie seemed to be just the thing to bring Spike out of his hesitation. 

“Sorry, Pinkie, I was out on errands, and Twilight wasn’t really in the best condition for visitors.”

“Oh no, is something wrong?” asked Pinkie, concern stamped across her face.

“She’s been in bed with a really bad headache,” explained Spike, “and she had me run to Zecora’s for some herbal treatments.”

“Zecora?” I asked.

“She’s a zebra who lives in the Everfree Forest,” explained Pinkie. 

There were zebras in Equestria too? So ponies weren’t the only equines in this universe.

“She lives in the forest? With all of the ‘kooky-spooky’ stuff?” I asked, adding air quotes near the end.

“Yep, but she doesn’t mind. She’s great with potions and fortune-telling!”

“I see,” I said, still somewhat bewildered. 

A zebra that performed potion-making and fortune-telling? This was way too weird.

At last, I said, “Well, we were hoping to see Twilight, so I could meet her. I’ve met all of Pinkie’s other friends already, and I have a few questions for her.”

“You’re in luck, then!” said Spike. “She’s feeling a lot better, so she might be up for a visit. I’m sure she’d love to meet a real human in person, too!”

He led us inside. I, for my part, had to duck down to avoid knocking my head against the top of the door.

“So, what is it you do, Spike?" I asked. "I don’t suppose dragons have anything like cutie marks to tell them what they're good at.”

“Nope, but I’ve got the best talent a dragon could ask for!" said Spike. "I’m Twilight’s #1 assistant!” 

He said this with a great deal of pride that was quite amusing to see in such a little guy.

“What does that entail?” I asked.

“Usually housework: fetching books, sweeping, dusting, that sort of thing, but I’m also her scribe.”

“Scribe? You mean like a messenger?”

“Yep! It’s my job to write down her reports to the princess, send them to her, and receive messages from her.”

“Boy, you sure have a lot on your plate for a baby dragon," I said. "Twilight must have a lot of faith in you.” 

Spike beamed at this compliment. 

“Thanks,” he said, a bit modestly. 

We had stopped inside when we started talking, but now I took a full view. We were in a wooden, circular room, with an unbelievable amount of bookshelves, packed from end to end with books, books, and more books. Even more sat on tables, alongside scattered papers and writing quills. A carved horse head, like a knight chess piece, sat like a centerpiece in the middle of the room. 

As I had mentioned before, I was an avid reader, and this room was like a haven of intellectuality. Then again, Twilight was a student for this Princess Celestia, so she probably needed every ounce of literary assistance possible.

My eyes then fell on something I hadn’t noticed before: a little brown owl sitting on a perch by the window. I approached it, interested. If ponies and dragons could talk in this world, why not owls?

“Cool! An owl!” I said.

“Hoo,” hooted the owl.

“Aw, nuts," I said, slightly disappointed. "I was kinda hoping you’d be able to talk, too. If the ponies can, why not other animals?”

“Hoo.”

“Still, you’re a cute little fella.”

I reached out and stroked the top of his head with one finger, and he closed his eyes in contentment.

“Does he live here?” I asked Spike.

“Yep. That’s Owlowiscious. He’s Twilight’s nighttime assistant, since he’s nocturnal.”

“Nighttime assistant? Does she ever sleep?”

“Of course she does, but sometimes she gets assignments that require being up late, like stargazing. I, uh…I kinda can’t stay up that late, yet,” he added, sheepishly.

“Ohh, I see. So Owlowiscious does what you do, only at night.”

“Yep," said Spike, and when he next spoke, he adopted a whisper. "So, Twilight's napping right now, so let's keep quiet as we go up to see her."

Softly, we followed him up a set of spiral stairs. They led into another circular room, but one that was fitted out like a bedroom. A small basket sat at one end, stuffed with blankets and a pillow. I had a feeling that either belonged to Spike or another pet. The former was more likely, as it seemed to be just his size. There was a bed over by a window, raised up on a platform closer to the ceiling, which we ascended, and there, lying on her side, on the covers, her cheek on a pillow, was Twilight.

She was a unicorn, like Rarity, but her coat was lavender purple. Her mane was straightly cut in the front, almost like a bowl haircut, through which her horn protruded, though it was long and silky in the back, as was her tail. Both were a dark bluish-purple, streaked with pink and lighter purple. She was in between Rainbow Dash and Pinkie when it came to physique: not as slim as the former, not as chubby as the latter. It more reminded me of someone who didn’t go out to exercise much, being used to the indoors, and so had a bit of a belly (kind of like me, actually). In all honesty, it only helped to add to how cute she looked asleep, with her hooves curled in front of her as she dozed. Her cutie mark was one of the strangest I’d seen yet: a pink six-pointed star, surrounded by smaller stars.

“Could you kind of wait over there?” Spike asked, pointing to a corner where the sun wasn’t quite shining, leaving it shadowed. “I just don’t want you to spook her when she wakes up again.” 

I completely understood and did as he asked. He and Pinkie approached the bed. Twilight opened her eyes drowsily. Even from where I stood, I could see they were amethyst-purple and very pretty. She still looked very tired and worn out, and even as she lifted her head, she grimaced, obviously from the headache. Smiling kindly, Pinkie came over and warmly nuzzled her, which Twilight seemed to appreciate greatly.

“Hey, Pinkie,” she said, in a voice both gentle and intelligent in tone. “It’s good to see you.”

“Spike told me you had an achy head," said Pinkie. "Is it all right now?”

“Not exactly, but it’s a lot better than this morning.”

“You haven’t been-”

“No, Pinkie, I haven’t been ‘hitting the books’,” interrupted Twilight, dryly. 

This prompted a laugh from them all, though Twilight’s was cut short with an “Ow!” and a rub of her forehead.

“She was practicing a really difficult spell,” explained Spike, “and it took a whole lot out of her.”

“Wow," said Pinkie. "What spell was it?”

“Long-distance summoning,” said Twilight.

“Kind of like combining her levitation and teleportation spells into one,” said Spike.

“Ooh! That sounds fun!” said Pinkie, intrigued.

“Yeah, but I never saw what I called," said Twilight. "I know it worked, though. It must have, or I wouldn’t be so drained.” 

She cringed as another pang of pain hit her. 

“Geez," she muttered. "Now I know how Shining Armor felt when he had to maintain his protection spell.”

“Aww, poor Twilight,” sympathized Pinkie. “Don’t you worry. As soon as you’re well again, I’ll throw you a “Glad You’re Feeling Better” party!” 

Twilight giggled softly. Like Fluttershy’s, it was a very heartwarming one to listen to.

“Really, Pinkie, you don’t have to-” 

“Oh, wait!” Pinkie interrupted, clapping a hoof to her forehead. "I almost forgot! Davie needs to talk to you first!"

Twilight blinked, looking puzzled.

“Davie? Who’s Davie? I’ve never met a pony with that name before.”

“Uh, that’s because…he’s not a pony,” said Spike, slowly. 

He nodded to me, and I stepped out into the open. 

Twilight took one look at me, and those big purple irises shrank instantly. She didn’t scream (I don’t think she had voice enough to do it in her state), but she looked as if she were about to pass out.

“You…he…what…how…” she spluttered.

“Take it easy,” I said, gently, holding my hands up placatingly. “You’re already under a lot of stress.”

“Oh…oh my…This is…this is unbelievable! A human! A real human! Here in Equestria! And in my own home!” 

Her stupefaction was slowly giving way to excitement, and there was an ecstatic gleam in her eyes. She sprang up into a standing position on her hind legs and placed her front hooves on my shoulders, so that were almost nose-to-nose. She was kind of creeping me out.

“I’ve got so much to ask you!” 

She couldn’t even start asking, however, because another stab of pain seemed to strike her, and she clapped a hoof to her temple. She slid back into a sitting posture as Spike rushed over, a steaming cup in his hand.

“Here, Twi, it’s about time for another dose anyway.”

“Thanks, Spike.”

She took the cup in her hooves and drank the contents down in a few gulps. As Spike took the cup away, she coughed and gagged.

“Bitter stuff,” she groaned, before turning her attention back to me. “Sorry. I guess I went a little overboard, but this is just...Wow! A human in Equestria! Do you have any idea how long I’ve waited for a chance like this?”

“Er, I can’t honestly say,” I said, “but it’s funny you should say you’ve got questions for me, because I have quite a few questions for you.” 

“Oh?” asked Twilight.

“Unless my sources, namely Pinkie here, are mistaken, you have a reputation for being knowledgeable.”

Pinkie grinned toothily at me. Twilight’s cheeks briefly flushed at such a compliment, but she smiled nonetheless.

“Guilty as charged, I suppose,” she said. “Twilight Sparkle, at your service.”

“Dave at yours,” I said. “I’ve been told you’re actually studying under this land’s ruler herself.”

“Mm-hmm!" said Twilight, nodding. "I’m the personal protege of Princess Celestia, though that’s not something I like to brag about.”

“Well, then, this might help my case even more, seeing as how you’re the student of royalty, and probably have access to all the resources in the world. The trouble is, I don’t even know where to begin.”

“Well, why not have a seat, first of all? Spike?”

“On it!” said Spike.

He hurried out of the room, returning shortly afterward with a wooden stool. It was rather short-legged, but I made due, sitting with my legs tucked in so that my knees were near my chin. Pinkie plunked herself down beside me..

“Thanks,” I said to the dragon, before turning back to Twilight. “I won’t be offended if you don’t believe me, because I’m still having a hard time believing it myself.”

“Try me,” said Twilight, a note of confidence in her voice. “I’ve seen and heard a lot of crazy things ever since I moved here.”

“I’m always seeing and hearing crazy things!” said Pinkie. “But ponies keep telling me it’s my imagination.”

(I’m honestly not surprised.)

“Well, according to Pinkie...I dropped into Equestria from out of the sky.”

As I had expected, Twilight and Spike went wide-eyed and slack-jawed at such a preposterous claim. They looked at Pinkie, who was smiling placidly.

“What?” she asked, innocently. “I saw him fall! He’s lucky he didn’t splat himself like an egg! I mean, can you just imagine something like that happening? It’d be one big gooky mess-”

“Thank you, Pinkie!” I interrupted, already unnerved. With a sigh, I continued. “I woke up as Pinkie found me, with my head pounding and my memory fogged. I know who I am and what I’ve left behind, but I’ve got no idea what I was doing before I blacked out, or how I even ended up here.”

Twilight looked at me without speaking for a few moments, merely rubbing her chin thoughtfully, her lips pursed. 

“Fascinating," she said. "Well, memory loss is common when one experiences a sort of trauma that makes them black out. That’s a possible explanation.”

“Trauma?!” I spluttered. “You think I was doing something that traumatized me?”

“I don’t mean scarring you for life,” said Twilight, “but perhaps something happened that left an immense psychological impact on your mind. Emotional trauma can affect an individual’s memory, taking away pieces of it and leaving it clouded.”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Could something have happened that had affected me so badly that my memory had cracked like fine china? I couldn’t even imagine such a thing.

“Is there a way to un-cloud it?” I asked, hopefully.

Twilight bit her lip in an unsure way.

“There are spells that can fix up a damaged memory, but if not done correctly, the side effects could be, well, catastrophic.”

“C-Catastrophic?” I gulped.

“Many of the books I’ve read on the subject say things like completely broken memories, false memories, and even the subconscious being completely wiped clean.”

I could feel my innards shrivel at such a disturbing thought. I didn’t want to imagine having a mind completely erased.

“I’m sorry,” said Twilight. “I want to help you, but I don’t to risk causing more damage. Even if my talent is magic, that doesn’t mean every spell I pull off is flawless.”

“Wait, your talent is magic?” I asked. “What does that mean?”

“Mm? Oh, well, it’s all connected with cutie marks. Do you know anything about them?”

“I've had a rough explanation, courtesy of Pinkie,” I said.

“Professor Pinkie,” interjected Pinkie.

“Oh, right, excuse me,” I said, dryly.

“A cutie mark,” Twilight explained, “appears on a pony’s flank when they discover what it is they’re the most talented at or what they’re meant to be. There’s cutie marks for cooking, music, sewing, construction, teaching, anything, really. For unicorns, their cutie marks and talents are reflected in the kinds of spells they can use. However, if a pony’s talent is magic, like mine, they’re able to perform a wide number of spells without limitation.”

“And Twilight knows a ton of awesome spells!” said Spike.

“Oh, Spike, stop,” said Twilight, modestly. “It’s true I know a lot of spells, but I keep saying it’s nothing to boast about.”

“Humble to the end,” Spike muttered to me.

“In any case,” Twilight went on, “while I can perform several complicated spells, things like memory spells, weather spells, and even age spells are only accessible to the highest-level unicorns, and I don’t have the proper training for that.”

“Oh," I muttered. "Well, it doesn’t help me know how I got here or what happened to make my memory all screwed up, but I don't know anything about magic, so I don't think it's my place to argue. Besides, if the risks you described are true, I may want to hold off.”

“Again, I’m sorry,” said Twilight. “By what you described, you were dropped into Ponyville by magical means, but tracing exactly how might prove impossible.”

“It’s not just that I’m worried about,” I said. “It’s what I’ve left behind, too. I have no idea where in the world Equestria lies on the planet, if I’m even on the same Earth that my home lies. As crazy as it sounds, I wouldn’t be surprised if I was transported across different universes!  My family’s still back where I came from, I have no way of contacting them, telling them not to worry about me...”

I lay my head in my hands, the weight of my situation catching back up with me. I felt Pinkie nestle up close beside me, trying to comfort me. Twilight, for her part, seemed affected by my spiel, and was looking at me with sympathetic understanding in those keen eyes of hers.

“You poor thing,” she said. “How old are you?”

“20,” I admitted, “but I still live with my folks.”

“Oh...I’m so sorry. I really wish there was more that I could do.”

“Twilight,” Spike piped up. “There is something you can do.”

“Hmm?”

“Ask Princess Celestia!”

Twilight looked at him for a moment, before a look of dawning comprehension overtook her face.

“Yes!” she said. “What a fantastic idea! Good thinking, Spike!”

“Yes, well,” said Spike, rubbing his knuckles on his chest in a self-satisfied way, “I do have my moments.”

“You think your princess has the answer?” I asked, hopefully.

“I wouldn’t doubt it,” said Twilight. “Princess Celestia is one of the wisest ponies in Equestria, and she has access to all of the information in the Canterlot Archives. There’s no knowledge beneath her.”

As Twilight said this, Spike left his spot briefly and returned with a scroll of cream-colored parchment and a feather quill.

“Ready when you are, Twi!” he said.

Twilight cleared her throat, and as she dictated, Spike wrote her speech down.

“Dear Princess Celestia, 
I’m not sure if you have already been made aware, but Ponyville has been graced with a rather...unexpected visitor: a human! He says that his name is Dave, and that he’s arrived in Equestria through means that remain a complete mystery to him. They've also rendered his memory insufficient to recall how he came to be here. If you have any advice on how to deal with this puzzling situation, we would be extremely grateful.
Your faithful student,
Twilight Sparkle.”

Spike finished and rolled up the scroll.

“How did that sound?” Twilight asked me.

“Very nice,” I said. “So, how long’s it going to take to get a response? Do you use carrier pigeons, or-”

*FWOOSH!*

To my utter surprise, Spike breathed a stream of green flames on the paper. As it smoldered into ashes and smoke, it seemed to condense into a sparkling, purplish mist, which sailed out the open window. I just sat there, mouth agape, unable to believe what I had just seen. The ponies and dragon laughed at my expression.

“Don’t worry about it, Dave,” said Twilight. “It’s Spike’s special talent: he links my mail with Princess Celestia.”

“Dragon-fire message delivery,” I muttered. “What will the world think of next?”

“Well, while we’re waiting for a response,” Twilight went on, “tell me a bit about you, Dave. I know you’re not in the best of situations, but I’m interested to know how Equestria is treating you so far.”

I shook my head to clear it from the ‘what the heck’ I had just experienced, then said,

“I’d be lying if I said that Ponyville doesn’t have a certain charm to it," I said. "The ponies are certainly very welcoming and friendly. Pinkie, though, has proven a phenomenal friend in all of this. I’m lucky she found me.”

Pinkie smiled and leaned up so that she could nuzzle my cheek. Twilight smiled.

“I’d have to concur with you there,” said Twilight. “In Ponyville, there’s no better pony to make friends with than Pinkie Pie.”

Pinkie stuck out her tongue in a pleased way. That seemed to complete the circle of commendation on her good character.

“She’s certainly managed to find ways to make me worry less about my problems,” I consented, “but she’s also introduced me to her other close friends: Rainbow Dash, Applejack, Rarity, and Fluttershy.”

“Oh!” said Twilight. “How wonderful! I’d figure Pinkie would introduce you to the rest of the gang.”

“So the seven of you are one big group of friends?” I asked, indicating Pinkie, Twilight, Spike, and a vague space meant to represent the others I’d met.

“Yep!” said Pinkie. “Six pony pals, and our little Spikey-Wikey!”

“Pinkie, don’t call me that,” Spike grumbled, exactly like a little boy being coddled by his mother.

“But Rarity calls you that all the time,” said Pinkie.

“It’s fine when she does it,” Spike muttered, “but anypony else doing it just makes it feel weird.”

Twilight just rolled her eyes smilingly.

“How did the two of you come to work together?” I asked. “Is Spike like your apprentice or something?”

“Not quite,” said Twilight. “I hatched Spike’s egg on the day I both got my cutie mark and secured my place as Princess Celestia’s student. We’ve been kind of inseparable ever since.”

I looked at Spike, who had broken out of his grumpy mood to grin in a way that confirmed what Twilight said as the truth.

“Until I moved to Ponyville, most of my time was taken up in my studies,” Twilight went on. “Spike was still just a hatchling, and Princess Celestia raised him for the most part, but I wasn’t lonely, thanks to my books-”

“Naturally,” Spike muttered to me, earning a swift and sour look from the purple unicorn.

“My foalsitter, Cadence, and my BBBFF, Shining Armor.”

Wait, what? I could guess that ‘foalsitter’ was a pony babysitter, but what was a ‘beebeebee-effeff?”

“Uh, what was that last part?” I asked.

“Big Brother, Best Friend Forever,” Twilight explained.

“Ohh,” I said, comprehending. “So your best friend was your brother? Sounds like a swell guy.”

“He’s the best,” said Twilight, fondly. “Strong, kind, and a natural leader. He’s Captain of the Royal Guard for a reason. Sure, he may be busier now that he’s married to Cadence, but-”

“Whoa-whoa, wait a minute!” I interrupted, surprised. “There was a lot in that explanation that can’t just fly so easily!”

Twilight tilted her head in puzzlement, and I counted the things off on my fingers, which I couldn't help but notice she observed with interest.

“So, not only are you the personal protege of your country’s princess, but your brother is the Captain of the Royal Guard, and he’s married to your foalsitter?”

Twilight nodded.

“...Twilight, you're one lucky pony!” I said, after a stunned pause.

Twilight’s face flushed a brilliant shade of magenta.

“Sorry,” I said, catching myself. “I didn’t mean to embarrass you like that.”

“No, no, it’s ok,” said Twilight. “I’m flattered that you think so highly of me, but sometimes I'd rather not just be known as Princess Celestia’s student. I’m not just Twilight Sparkle, protege to the princess, but I’m also Twilight, owner of the Golden Oak Library.”

“Oh, I can understand that,” I said. “I mean, if it were me, I'd just feel overwhelmed. If you want, I can try to keep the ‘Princess’s student’ thing on the down-low for you.”

“Thanks,” said Twilight, gratefully.

“On the other hand,” I said, “running a library’s a sweet job. I’ve always wanted to work in one. I love reading.”

Twilight’s eyes lit up again.

“Do you?” she asked, excitedly.

“Ever since I was a kid,” I said. “I’d always been more of an indoors person.”

“Me too!” said Twilight. “Ohh, I had no idea I’d have such a common link with a live human! Dave,” she added, in a more business-like tone, “we have got to arrange a sit-down so we can talk about things in your world. There’s so much I want to ask!”

“You mean like a Q&A?” I asked.

“Mm-hmm!” she said, nodding eagerly.

“Well, that does sound like a neat idea," I said, "but it all depends on what Princess Celestia has to say.”

All of a sudden, there came a loud gagging noise from Spike, and I saw his cheeks bulge, as if he were about to vomit.

“Spike?” I asked. “You ok?”

In answer, he let out an almighty belch, accompanied by a tongue of flames, and from the fire, there materialized, miraculously intact, a sealed scroll. I felt my jaw drop again.

“A response from the Princess!” said Twilight. “Please read it, Spike.”

“With pleasure,” said Spike, plucking the scroll out of the air. 

He unrolled it and read,

“My dearest Twilight,
I had indeed received notification of something of the sort earlier today, but had yet to send a dispatch to confirm whether or not it was true. A human, you say? Goodness, there hasn’t been a human in Equestria for ages! Know that I have complete sympathy for poor David in his plight, and I shall do whatever I can to find an answer. In the meantime, all I can recommend is that he lodge somewhere in Ponyville, perhaps with you or one of your friends, as I can think of nopony else more trustworthy. I do hope he and I may be able to meet in the future, as I am sure we have much to discuss.
Warmest regards to our new visitor,
Yours sincerely,
Princess Celestia.”

“Well!” said Twilight, pleased. “What do you know? Princess Celestia already approves of you!”

“Wow,” I muttered. “I had no idea she’d be so understanding. What’s she really like, this Princess Celestia?”

“She’s wonderful, Dave. I can think of nopony else as kind, as wise, or as powerful as Princess Celestia. She’d have to be strong, governing the sun all year round.”

“Heh, yeah, I can imagine.”

...Wait, what did she say?!

“Whoa, hold on!” I said. “Did you say...governing the sun?”

“Right,” said Twilight. “Princess Celestia makes the sun rise and set every day. Her sister, Princess Luna, does the same for the moon.”

“...The sun and moon need to be moved by pony magic? They don’t raise and set themselves?”

“No. Why?”

“...Why is every meteorological aspect so dependent in this place?!” I nearly shouted. “The clouds, sun, and moon need to be operated by pony influences? They’d never believe this back home!”

“No?” asked Twilight. “Do they work by themselves where you come from?”

“Yes!”

“Ohh...Wow," said Twilight, clearly astounded. "See, this is why we need to have this Q&A, so we can answer the unanswered!”

“I suppose so,” I said, still not quite over the whole ‘sun and moon’ thing, “but first I need to figure out where I’m going to stay.”

“You just leave that to me, Davie!” said Pinkie. “I know the perfect place for you to stay!”

“Oh really?" I asked. "Where’s that?”

“You’ll see,” said Pinkie, slyly.

“Aw, c’mon, you’re gonna keep secrets from me?”

“It won’t be as fun if I just say it and spoil the surprise,” said Pinkie.

“Twilight, can’t you talk some sense into her?” I asked, appealing to her.

“Sense? Into Pinkie Pie?” asked Twilight, in an incredulously amused tone. “Dave, that’s like asking Rarity not to comb her mane 100 times before bed! It can’t be done!”

Pinkie burst into a hearty fit of laughter, joined soon by Twilight, then Spike, and at last, in spite of myself, me. Then, suddenly, Twilight stopped laughing. Her face fell into a pained frown, and she clapped her hooves to her head. 

“Oww…”

“Twilight!" I cried. "Your headache! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make it act up again!”

“No, no, it’s all right," said Twilight. "You actually made me forget about it for a while.”

I looked away, embarrassed at such a compliment, though not in a bad way. She reached out and put one hoof on the back of my hand, in a friendly way.

“If it’s all right with you, I want to get some more rest, and I don’t doubt you’ll want to settle in.”

“Oh, no, that’s fine!” I said, truthfully. “I didn’t mean to keep you from healing up. It was really great to meet you, Twilight.”

“Same to you, Dave. Like I said, you’re welcome back anytime, so don’t be shy.”

“Oh, trust me, I won’t be.”

"And I promise," she added, meaningfully, "I'll find a way to get you home, no matter what it takes. You have my word."

I knew she meant it, by the look in her eyes. She, like Pinkie, like the rest of their friends, had faces of those you could trust with your life. I nodded to show my grateful understanding, and Twilight lay back down to settle on her pillow. Spike moved in to pull a blanket over her.

“Hey, Spike?” I spoke up, and the little dragon looked at me. “Thanks, for sending the letter and all that.”

“Not a problem,” he said, with a grin. “Take care.”

“See you both tomorrow!” chirped Pinkie. 

Twilight just smiled warmly as she nestled her aching head into her pillow, and so Pinkie and I took leave of her and her dragon assistant, though I made sure to close the door softly as we left.
> Sugarcube Corner
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

As we went along, I heard Pinkie humming a tune that seemed oddly familiar. It sounded like a victory ballad I’d heard in a video game once. At first, I was confused, but then figured it was just her way of congratulating herself on achieving one of her objectives: introducing me to her closest companions. Still how did she know such a song?

At last, she came to a sudden halt that nearly made me topple over her.

“Pinkie, can’t you warn me before you do that?” I asked, irritated.

“Sorry. It’s just, we’re here!”

"Here where?"

"Where I live! Welcome to Sugarcube Corner!"

She pointed to a building in front of us. I looked up at it, and blinked in surprise.

Sugarcube Corner was like nothing I had ever expected. It looked like a much more upscale version of the gingerbread house that the witch from Hansel and Gretel lived in: gingerbread-colored roof bordered by what looked like icing, candy cane support beams near the door, and at the very top was what looked like a giant cupcake, decorated with enormous birthday candles. Even from where I was standing, the smell coming from the establishment was intoxicatingly sweet.

“You mean you live here?” I asked.

“Yep!" said Pinkie. "Live and work! Isn’t it great? That means I don’t have to worry about being late for work, because I’m already at work!”

“That…makes a lot of sense, actually," I conceded.

It also made sense how Pinkie kept up all of her energy: she lived where there was a ready supply of it. It also explained why she was chubby.

“Come on, let’s go in!" she said. "It’s time to meet the Cakes!”

“The Cakes?”

“Yeah, Mr. and Mrs. Cake, my bosses! They’re amazing bakers, and I know they’ll just love to meet you!”

(‘Meet the Cakes’. Sounds like the title of a really cheesy movie.).

Inside, it was nearly the same style of candy-themed architecture, with a glass-fronted countertop at the back, where the cash register stood, and several tables and chairs for customers. A set of swinging doors led to the kitchen, while a set of stairs led upwards to where Pinkie and the Cakes must reside. It wasn’t that crowded, as it was nearing sunset (I still couldn’t believe we had spent so much time out and about), so I caught a glimpse of a few ponies as we entered. A purple Earth pony with a cutie mark resembling a cluster of grapes was downing a glass of something with particular relish, while in a back corner, a gray pegasus with a messy blond mane and a cutie mark resembling bubbles was eating a muffin. 

“Aha!” said Pinkie, suddenly. “Just the pony I was looking for. Wait here, Davie. Hey, Derpy!”

As she trotted over, the pegasus looked up, and I felt myself give a double-take. She was cross-eyed; her sun-yellow pupils were looking off into different directions, though one must have been focused on Pinkie, as she smiled brightly. Pinkie went right up to her and started to whisper something into her ear. On occasion, I saw her eyes flit towards me, so it made me wonder what she could have been saying.

All of a sudden, right out of nowhere, I was tackled right to the ground, as if a dog had pounced on me. Looking up, I saw that I had been pinned down by the green unicorn who had reacted so excitedly when I first came into Ponyville. There was an enormous grin plastered on her face, along with a manic enthusiasm glimmering in her vibrant orange-yellow eyes.

“Um…hello?” I asked, hesitantly.

“Hi! Oh, gosh, this is so great!” 

Her voice was hyperactive, yet sweet-toned. It must‘ve been a byproduct of the cutie mark. 

“Do you have any idea how long I’ve waited for this day?? Oho, my friends said I was crazy, but who’s crazy now, huh??”

She leaned in close as she said this, pressing her snout to my nose.

(Gee, how about the psychotic unicorn keeping me pinned down? And where’s Pinkie when I need her??)

Turning my head, I could just see Pinkie, and the pegasus was getting up and flapping her way to the door. Without even turning to see what I was doing, Pinkie trotted off toward the back.

(Don’t leave me!)

“I have so many questions!” the unicorn went on, and the string of questions came out in a rapid-fire fashion, so it was all I could do to catch them. “Do all humans wear clothes? What’s it like having hands? Or fingers? Or toes, for that matter? Is it true that humans are related to mon-keys!”

This last syllable came out as a yelp as she was tugged off of me. I saw that she was being restrained by her companion from earlier, the cream Earth pony with blue and pink hair. She looked quite harassed.

“Lyra!" she said. "That’s no way to behave!”

“But Bonnie! It’s a real human!” whined the unicorn, Lyra, “Everypony thought I was just making stuff up, but he’s living proof! See?”

“I know, I know,” said the Earth pony, wearily. “Look, I’m sorry I doubted you, Lyra, but really, I knew you’d take this too far.”

Lyra cast her eyes downward, ashamed. The Earth pony turned to me.

“I’m so sorry about that, sir. Lyra’s harmless, just excitable.” She then added, levelly, to her friend, “Now, say you’re sorry, Lyra.”

“Sorry,” Lyra mumbled.

“It’s all right,” I said, getting up. “It's actually kinda flattering to know you're so eager to know about humans.”

“Exactly!" said Lyra, triumphantly. "See, Bonnie? I'm eager, not crazy.”

The Earth pony rolled her eyes.

“In any case, I’m Bon Bon, or Bonnie, as my friends call me, and this is my best friend, Lyra Heartstrings.”

“Pleased to meet you both," I said. "And Lyra?”

The unicorn looked up.

“It looks like I might be here for a while. I’m sure I can find time to feed your curiosity.”

That delighted look appeared on her mint-green face again.

“Just…keep your questions reasonable, ok?” I asked.

“Ok! Thanks!”

She threw her hooves around me in a hug, and then galloped out the door.

“Come on, Bonnie! Race ya home!”

Bon Bon sighed. 

“Roommates. What can you do?” she said, wearily, but she gave me a gentle smile as way of farewell and galloped after her friend.

At that same instant, Pinkie returned, followed by a pair of Earth ponies who must have been the Cakes. Mr. Cake was a lanky, square-jawed, yellow stallion with an orange mane and tail. He wore a paper hat, a large bow tie, and a white apron. Mrs. Cake was a short, plump blue mare with a pink mane that resembled a swirl of whipped cream, wearing a yellow apron bordered with pink, as well as spherical pink earrings. Mr. Cake’s cutie mark was a trio of what looked like carrot cake squares, and Mrs. Cake’s was a trio of cupcakes.

“Here he is, Mr. and Mrs. Cake!” said Pinkie, cheerily. “This is Dave! Davie, these are my bosses: Mr. Carrot Cake and Mrs. Cup Cake!”

“It’s a pleasure,” I said.

“Goodness me,” said Mrs. Cake. “To think we’d see the day when we’d have a human in our bakery!”

“We’d heard the excitement out in the town square,” said Mr. Cake, “but we were too busy to take a look ourselves. So you’re who everypony’s been talking about?”

“I am," I said. "I’m actually a little surprised how well everyone’s taking it. I mean, I thought they’d take one look at me and think I was some outside invader. That Lyra, though, she was all over me just a moment ago.”

Pinkie burst out giggling. 

“Oh my gosh, that must have been so funny! Why’d I have to go off by myself so soon?”

“Trust me, if you were a witness, you’d never let me live it down,” I said, flatly.

Pinkie just grinned, and the Earth pony couple chuckled.

“What? What’d I say?” I asked.

“Oh, it’s nothing,” said Mrs. Cake, smiling, “From what Pinkie’s already told us, the two of you have been having a grand time together.”

“You honestly couldn’t have asked for better than to have run into her,” said Mr. Cake. “There’s no sweeter pony in Ponyville than her.”

“Aww, gosh…” said Pinkie, smiling in a pleasantly embarrassed way.

I couldn’t hold back a smile, either. In all honesty, looking at them, I wouldn't have been surprised if Pinkie was their daughter.

“And in any case,” Mr. Cake went on, “judging from how the rest of the town was talking about you, you sounded like a well-meaning young man.”

I looked at my feet, embarrassed. 

“Well, I just don't like being a bother,” I muttered, humbly.

Pinkie adopted a more serious expression, however, at this moment.

“Mr. and Mrs. Cake, I have a really big, super-duper favor to ask of you.”

“Oh? What’s that?” asked Mrs. Cake.

“Davie’s kind of stranded here. He’s away from his parents and friends, can’t contact them, and he has nowhere else to go. Could he stay here with us for a while?”

Wait a minute, what?

That was Pinkie’s secret plan? To have me stay with her in her home?

...Why didn’t I see that coming?

As for Mr. and Mrs. Cake, they looked at each other in astonishment. I shared their sentiments.

“Pinkie,” I finally said, “I couldn’t possibly impose like that, not after what you’ve already done for me.”

“You wouldn’t impose,” Pinkie insisted. “You can stay with me in my room!”

I couldn’t help but redden a bit at this. Sharing a room with someone I only just met was awkward enough, but to share a room with a girl was something else entirely.

“Really, Pinkie, I can just stay in a hotel. It’s no big deal.”

“Without any money?” Pinkie asked, wryly.

“...Touche,” I consented.

It seemed, however, that Mr. and Mrs. Cake had come to a decision.

“We don’t see why you can’t stay, Dave, as long as Pinkie’s willing to share her room,” said Mr. Cake.

Were they serious?

They were really this willing to open their arms, er, forelegs to a complete stranger, and one of an entirely different and relatively unknown species?

“Of course, we might need to make some adjustments,” said Mrs. Cake. “I’m sure we have a mattress somewhere that’d suit you just fine.”

“I…I don’t know what to say…” I stammered. “I don’t deserve this level of kindness when you don’t even know me.”

“Oh, nonsense, dearie,” said Mrs. Cake. “You’re Pinkie’s friend. She seems fond of you, and it looks like you two have gotten along so well in such a short time. We’d be glad to have you as our guest.”

“It’ll be great, Davie, I promise!” said Pinkie. “We’ll have a fun time!”

“We’ll make sure everything's set up as soon as we close for tonight,” said Mr. Cake. “Does that sound good?”

For a moment or two, I was at a loss for words. At last, feeling moist about the eyes, I said,

“…That sounds perfect. Really, I can’t thank you enough. You ponies are all just…wonderful, opening your doors and your hearts to a complete stranger like me.”

“It’s no trouble at all,” said Mrs. Cake, kindly. “Pinkie's never wrong about the friends she makes.”

“Pinkie, why don’t you show Dave the room?” suggested Mr. Cake. “Help him get situated.”

“Okey doke, Mr. and Mrs. C!” said Pinkie. “Come on, Davie! My room’s upstairs!”

With that, Pinkie bounced her way up the stairs, and I followed close behind, still numb from what had just transpired.


***


Pinkie’s room was at the very top of Sugarcube Corner, in the giant cupcake that sat like a tower on the pinnacle. It made sense, to be perfectly truthful. As we came up the stairs, however, she stopped me for a moment to point down the hallway.

“Bathroom’s first door on the right, and the babies’ room is second on the left.”

“Oh, all right," I said, then stopped short. "Wait, babies’ room? You mean the Cakes have babies?”

“Yep!” Pinkie beamed. “They’re the proud mom and dad of two healthy young foals! You want to meet them?”

“Well, I don’t know, Pinkie. I’m not the best with babies.”

Truer words couldn't have been spoken. It’s not that I hated kids; I was a regular kid at heart, myself. I just couldn’t stand being in public places or in the same vicinity with a baby or fussy child; the crying got on my nerves greatly.

“Oh, I’m sure you’ll be fine,” said Pinkie, reassuringly. “They're asleep, so you don’t have to introduce yourself to them. Then again, why would you need to anyway, if they're sleeping?”

Off on another of her tangents…

Thankfully, we were already at the door, and she opened it quietly. The room was wallpapered blue, though I'd wanna say periwinkle, just to be fancy. At one end was what looked like a treasure chest, filled to capacity with stuffed animals, and in the other was a crib with a sun, moon, and star-themed mobile. Inside, nestled beneath their blankets, sound asleep, were two tiny baby ponies. The colt was tan with a brown mane, with a small pair of wings on his back. The filly was yellow with an orange mane, a unicorn’s horn on her forehead.

“This is Pound and Pumpkin,” I heard Pinkie whisper, indicating them in that order.

I couldn’t help but “aww” quietly at how precious they were. It seemed like no matter how loud or obnoxious babies could be, they always seemed to look the cutest or most pleasant while sound asleep. I turned to Pinkie, and saw that she was regarding them with motherly affection. She quietly approached the crib, leaned over, and, one by one, kissed both foals on the forehead. The babies smiled in their sleep as they shifted further into their blankets.

I was quite touched; despite Pinkie’s overabundance of energy and crazy behavior, she had a heart as soft and warm as a fresh-baked brownie.

“You make a wonderful aunt,” I whispered, as we left the room.

“Thanks,” she whispered back, sweetly.

She quietly closed the door, and we continued up the stairs. As we ascended, a sudden feeling of perplexity struck my thoughts.

“Hang on. Mr. and Mrs. Cake are Earth ponies, right?”

“Of course!”

“But those babies were a pegasus and unicorn.”

“Yeah?”

“…How does that work?”

“Oh, it’s easy! Mr. Cake’s great-great-great-great-grandfather was a unicorn, and Mrs. Cake’s great-aunt’s second cousin twice removed was a pegasus!”

She beamed, as if her answer was satisfactory, but it wasn't to me. I was more confused than ever. Still, I thought better than to question her further on it, so I decided to shift to a different topic.

“Pinkie, I meant to ask, but forgot about it until now: how were you the only one who noticed me land in Equestria? I mean, it must've been far off, but anyone must have seen a person tumbling out of the clouds.”

“That’s easy, too," said Pinkie. "My tail was twitching!”

She stopped, as if there was nothing more to say, but that kind of answer wasn't good enough for me.

“Your…tail was twitching?” I asked.

“Yep!”

Again, her tone suggested no need to say more.

“…Pinkie, you have to remember, I’m new to what goes on in Equestria-”

“Ohh! That’s right! I’m sorry, Davie. I’m just so used to everypony already knowing it by now. See, I get these feelings in my body that tell me when something’s going to happen. In this case, my tail was twitching, and that means something’s going to fall. And lo and behold, you fell!”

She emphasized this with a poke to my side. Was she being serious?

“…Pinkie, that had to just be an extremely wild coincidence," I said, reasonably. "No one can predict things based on weird twitches or spasms.”

Pinkie giggled. 

“Oh, Davie. Twilight used to be just like you. She didn’t believe in my Pinkie Sense either, but now she does!”

“Wait, hold on, it has a name?" I asked. "‘Pinkie Sense’?”

“Yep!”

“And Twilight believes in it?”

“Uh-huh!”

“…You are just full of surprises, Miss Pie.”

“Thanks!”

We finally arrived outside a very colorfully painted door, decorated with a rectangular plaque that read “PINKIE’S ROOM”. She pushed it open, and we both walked into the most vibrant room I had ever seen.

It seemed as if every single paint color had been used at least once for certain spots. Despite seeing Pinkie’s bed and dresser nearby, the place seemed much more like an enormous party room, made for entertainment or celebrations. There were even balloons and streamers here and there on the colorful, pastel walls. A stairway led to a second level where I could just see a door, one that I presumed led to a balcony.

“Do you like it?" asked Pinkie. "I designed it myself!”

“That’s easy to see," I said. "You must throw a lot of parties in here.”

“Yep! Well, sometimes in here, sometimes in the entertainment room down on the first floor, sometimes out in the middle of Ponyville-”

She seemed to be going off on another tangent, so I took the time to walk around and explore. Almost instantly, however, Pinkie halted mid-sentence and said,

“Careful, Davie! My shoulder’s achy! That means Gummy might be wandering around somewhere.”

“Gummy?" I asked, puzzled. "What’s a Gummy?”

“Not a Gummy, Gummy.”

It was getting a little annoying how she expected me to know these things that were obviously familiar to her, and was about to speak my mind on it when I felt something touch my leg. I looked down, and felt a cold shiver run down my spine.

Clinging to my right leg with its little feet, gazing up at me with enormous, purple eyes, was an alligator. Granted, it was the size of a house cat, but it was still an honest-to-goodness alligator!

I yelled and shook my leg violently, trying to get it to come loose.

“Get it off! GET IT OFF!”

“Hang on, Davie! Don’t worry!”

Pinkie galloped over and, with one deft movement, swiped the alligator from my leg, taking it in her hooves as if it were a baby. I rounded on her, flustered and angry.

“Pinkie!” I snapped. “What the heck are you thinking, keeping an alligator in your room?!”

“Relax, silly! It’s only Gummy. He doesn’t even have any teeth. See?”

She held him up to my face, making me recoil. The gator opened his mouth, and I saw that Pinkie was quite right: there wasn’t a single tooth in there, only gums.

“Still, Pinkie,” I finally managed to say, “an alligator? Really?”

“Aww, but he’s so cute!”

‘Cute’ was a relative term. I’d never felt inclined to think of reptiles as ‘cute’ before, considering I was an extreme ophidiophobe and avoided snakes as much as I could. Still, being so small and innocent-looking (especially with those off-kilter eyes), Gummy did have a certain appeal to him.

“Besides, he’s harmless!” Pinkie added.

As if to demonstrate, Gummy sprang from Pinkie’s hooves and latched onto her foreleg, making her giggle. If it were any other alligator, I would have called Animal Control, but seeing as this was her pet, I assumed that was just the little guy’s way of showing affection.

“Well, this should prove to be a very interesting stay,” I said.

It was certainly shaping up to be so: talking ponies, obscure genetics, Pinkie Sense, and a toothless pet alligator were all pretty difficult to swallow, but if I was to have any chance of getting by, I’d have to learn to accept them.

“I know, right?” said Pinkie, gleefully. “We're gonna have the best time ever!”

She flung her forelegs wide, sending Gummy flying. Luckily, he landed in a basket lined with soft pillows, a yarn ball, and a teddy bear, labeled “GUMMY” in colorful lettering. There, he curled up, still gazing off into space with his wide, staring eyes, as if nothing had happened. It was a little unsettling.

“So,” continued Pinkie, “any idea what you want for dinner?”

I pondered on that, not quite sure what to say. I couldn’t exactly say I was looking forward to the prospect of pony cuisine, but I didn’t want to just assume that all they ate was oats and hay. They had a bakery, at least.

Suddenly, Pinkie’s eyes widened, and she let out a happy gasp.

“I know! I’ve got the bestest-best idea ever!”

It was amazing just how often she could actually will herself to say ‘bestest-best’. At this point, it was feeling like the inside joke of a movie.

“It’s a special day, since I found you, so I’ll cook for you!”

“Oh? You cook?” I asked, interested.

As soon as I asked, I felt it was stupid to have done so. Why else would she work in a bakery if she couldn’t cook?

“Sure! The Cakes let me help them bake all the time!"

"You've already done so much, though," I said. "I can't ask you to-"

"But I want to!" Pinkie insisted. "Pleeeeease?"

She looked up at me with huge, pathetic puppy-dog eyes, a look that went straight into the depths of my heart. How could anything possibly be this adorable?

“Well, I guess I’m game," I said, bringing a gleeful smile to her face. "What did you have in mind?”

“Wait and see!” she said, in a singsong voice. “It’s gonna be great! We’ll just have to wait until we close for the night. Is that all right?”

“Of course.”

“Great! Let me show you around, then!”

Without further ado, Pinkie grabbed me by the hand and whisked me off to give me a tour of her room, or what would temporarily become ‘our’ room, I should say.
> My Dinner With Pinkie
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sun was now barely a sliver over the horizon, bathing Ponyville in a reddish-golden glow. Sugarcube Corner had emptied out of all of its customers, and I was sitting alone at a table in the main parlor, waiting for Pinkie. 

She had been in the middle of showing me around her room, and was just introducing me to her party cannon, a portable armament capable of blast-decorating a room for a party in mere seconds, when Mr. and Mrs. Cake had come up to check on us, dragging in a sizeable mattress in good condition, and that seemed to tell Pinkie that closing time had arrived. In a twinkling, she took me downstairs just as the last of the customers were walking out, and she plunked me down right at one of the tables before zipping off to the kitchen. I figured it was for the best, so that the Cakes could get the bed properly set up, and she seemed to have something big in mind for dinner.

As I sat and waited, I thought about all that had happened to me today, and could hardly believe it had only taken place in one day. Landing in an odd new land with no clue how I did so, meeting talking, pastel-colored ponies, seeing real-live unicorns and pegasus ponies…

And then there was that book. 

I lay it down on the table before me. Until now, I’d completely forgotten about it. I vaguely remembered having owned it, but there wasn’t much else that made it stand out. It was just an ordinary notebook. Despite that, even though I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, there was something about it that nagged me. 

It must have been that torn page. If someone else hadn’t taken it, why was it ripped out? Was it coincidence? An accident? Or was it because that page had something written on it, something not meant to be read?...

“Buonasera, signore!”

Having been concentrating all of my thoughts on the notebook, the sudden shout gave me quite a start and made me drop it. I looked up, and almost burst out laughing at what I saw. 

Pinkie was standing in front of me, wearing an apron, a chef’s toque, and the biggest fake mustache I’d ever seen in my life. She was standing on her hind legs, and was balancing a metal serving tray on one hoof.

“Welcome-a to Sugarcube-a Corner! I’m-a Pinkamena, and I’ll-a be-a your server tonight-a!” 

She was using such an exaggerated Italian accent that it was extremely hard to keep a straight face. Still, one thing had caught my attention in the string of Italian babble. Pinkamena? Was that her real first name?

“Our-a special tonight-a is spaghetti and-a wheat-a balls with-a breadsticks!” she went on. 

‘Wheat balls’. I felt like I could fill the Marianas Trench with the sheer number of Equestrian puns being tossed my way today. Still, it didn’t sound too bad, even if it wouldn’t be real meat.

“Sure, ‘Pinkamena’,” I said, “I’m game. But really, you can just be yourself.” 

Pinkie let out a sigh of relief. 

“Thank goodness! Do you know how hard it is to keep up that accent? Be right back then, Davie!” 

She winked and zipped off, leaving the phony-baloney mustache behind. I looked back down at the notebook. Just the way it was taunting me with its mysteriousness was aggravating me, so I laid it on my lap, out of sight, and hopefully out of mind. 

From up above, I could hear the Cakes moving about, probably deciding where the best place for the mattress would be. I felt a pang go through my heart as I thought of them busting their backs for my sake. I hated to have to make them do all the work, and was more than willing to do it for them. In fact, I had half a mind to head upstairs and offer to move the mattress myself. I wasn’t normally the type who enjoyed being asked to do labor like that, but I just couldn’t help feeling a twinge of guilt when I thought of people going to so much trouble just for me. 

I was pushing my chair back, and the sound of the dull scrape of its legs on the floor must have alerted Pinkie, as she poked her head out.

“Davie? Is something wrong?”

“Nah, Pinkie. I just want to help Mr. and Mrs. Cake with the mattress.”

“Oh, you don’t have to do that, silly!” said Pinkie.

“But I’d hate to have them be going through the trouble just for my sake,” I said.

“Don’t worry about it, Davie,” said Pinkie, “it’s fine, really. You’re our guest.” 

She said this in such a firm, yet gentle, tone that I knew there was no room for argument.

“If you’re sure…”

“Of course. Now, I won’t be too much longer.” 

She ducked back inside the kitchen, and I pulled my chair back up. Now, I enjoyed spaghetti just as much as the next person, especially if meatballs were involved, but I was also rather picky when it came to eating. Most vegetables, with a few exceptions, weren’t my cup of tea, especially onions. They always seemed to be an inescapable staple when it came to spaghetti in tomato sauce, but I didn’t want to be rude about Pinkie’s cooking, so I’d just have to bear with it if she did include them.

Finally, the kitchen doors swung open again, and Pinkie zipped over to the table, precariously balancing two plates of spaghetti on a tray on her head, decorated with what looked exactly like meatballs. With expert ease, Pinkie slid the plates off her head, one landing in front of me, the other in front of her. Then she dashed back off to the kitchen, returning with a basket full of golden-brown breadsticks. A tantalizing smell of parmesan cheese and garlic filled the room.

“Bon appetit!” she said, brightly. 

She didn’t need to tell me twice. I fell to immediately, trying a wheat ball with some of the noodles before anything else. It was…interesting. It was like biting into a ball of freshly-cooked bread dough, kind of like a hushpuppy, and while it didn’t exactly taste like a meatball, it was just as satisfying to eat. Pinkie hadn’t started yet, but seemed to be waiting for my approval after my experimental taste.

“So? How is it?” she asked. 

I took a moment to wipe my mouth with a nearby napkin before answering.

“Pinkie, I can easily say that this spaghetti is molto bellissimo!” 

I didn’t really speak Italian; I was one of those guys who only knew common, overused phrases of certain languages. I helped myself to a breadstick, dipping it in the tomato sauce before biting into it. Thankfully, there were no onions in the sauce, after all, and it itself was flavored with what tasted like oregano and even a little pepper. Pinkie seemed extremely gratified by my approval, and dug in with gusto.

“Do you usually cook this kind of stuff, Pinkie?” I asked.

“Oh, no, only on special occasions," said Pinkie. "I mostly just help with baking stuff! And today was a super-special occasion, after all: making my very first human friend!”

“That is a special occasion, I suppose,” I said. “And I could say it is for me as well: making my first pony friend.”

Pinkie smiled warmly at this.

“So you like working at a bakery?” I asked.

“It’s the absolute best! I get to make yummy sweets and see my friends visit every day!”

“I know you said earlier, when we were talking with Rainbow Dash, that you were friends with ‘everypony’," I said, gesturing with a breadstick. "Do you really mean everypony?”

“Yep! I’ve thrown at least one party for everypony in Ponyville, and even then, everypony else attends anyway, so I always see them!”

“Do you even know when everyone’s birthday is?” I asked, impressed.

“Yep, even if it’s months away!” said Pinkie, proudly.

Whoa. That was an extremely impressive memory for someone so...exuberant. I’d started warming up to her as the day went on, and had felt touched when she wanted me to be her friend, but to think that she had the heart and mind to remember everything about everyone who lived in her hometown...That was something truly special.

“And to think it could happen to somepony like me,” said Pinkie. “I mean, a rock farm’s the last place you’d expect to find a party pony.”

I paused, my fork halfway to my mouth with a dripping wheatball hanging from it. I couldn’t possibly have heard that right.

“Er, what did you say, Pinkie?” I asked.

“‘And to think it could happen to-’” Pinkie began, but I cut her off.

“No, no, Pinkie, after that. You said something about a farm?”

“Yep! My family’s rock farm!”

I stared at her. She stared back, as if she hadn’t said anything out of the ordinary at all.

“What?” she asked, innocently.

“I’m just having a hard time wrapping my head around the concept of a rock farm," I said. "I mean, I’ve heard of people keeping pet rocks, but a whole farm of rocks?”

“Well, somepony’s gotta do it, and those someponies are my family!” said Pinkie, proudly.

(Must be a real barrel of fun down there.)

“And you learned to be who you are...there?” I asked, skeptically.

“Yep! I saw a rainbow that showed me how to smile for the first time! From that day forward, I dedicated my life to spreading that joy to everypony I met, and I started by throwing a party for my family!”

“Wow," I said. "That’s...an odd way to start, but I guess we all have to start somewhere, right?”

“Mm-hmm!”

The rest of the meal passed in relative silence, partly because I was still stunned about the idea of a rock farm, but also because if we got hooked on another conversation topic, we’d run the risk of our food getting cold.  Then again, I couldn’t remember the last time I had been as verbal as I had been all throughout today.

To be perfectly honest, I rarely ever spoke, unless the topic was something I could understand. I felt like whenever I did speak, no one else responded, or they thought what I said was odd and didn’t have anything to do with what they were discussing at the moment. So, it sometimes made me feel like I shouldn’t speak at all, since my opinion didn’t seem all that valid. It was just like Mark Twain said, “it is better to keep your mouth closed and let people think you are a fool, than to open it and remove all doubt”. However, if I was talking to a good friend, I could become rather animated, if a little meek, when I spoke. Pinkie and these ponies were just like that; they had a way of making me get over the fact that I didn’t like talking very much. They were easy to talk to, and so understanding of what I said. It was refreshing, to say the least.

At last, our plates were cleaned. That is to say, Pinkie actually licked hers spotless, and when she looked up, saw that mine still had leftover sauce on it.

“You gonna eat that?” she asked.

“Be my guest,” I said, handing it to her with an amused chuckle.

Grinning gleefully, she proceeded to clean it up like a happy dog when offered a plate of table scraps.

“That was an excellent dinner, Pinkie,” I said.

She looked up, her pink face splashed with tomato sauce.

“Thanks, Davie! I’m glad you enjoyed it!”

At that moment, Mr. and Mrs. Cake made a reappearance, grinning in amusement at Pinkie’s sauce-besmirched face.

“Well, Dave, the bed’s all set up, if you want to go take a look,” said Mr. Cake. “I think you’ll be more than comfortable.”

“Thanks a bunch. I wish I could have given you both a hand.”

“Oh, not at all, sweetie,” said Mrs. Cake. “It was our pleasure. I take it dinner went well?”

“Better than well, Mrs. Cake!” said Pinkie, slurping the sauce from her own cheeks. “Well, come on, Davie! Let’s go see our new room!”

Pinkie bounded up from the table, and I followed after her, still more than a little befuddled by the prospect of ‘our new room’.

> Surprise!
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I had to give the Cakes credit. The bed, separated from Pinkie’s by a nightstand, was quite comfortable, and big enough for me to stretch out on. As I sat and tested it, Pinkie sat on her own bed, grinning at me. 

“How is it?” she asked.

“Cozy,” I said, satisfied. “I’m gonna sleep like a baby on this thing.”

“Does that mean you’ll need a diaper and a bottle?” Pinkie asked, tilting her head.

“No, Pinkie, it means...Forget it.”

Suddenly, Pinkie’s ear twitched. She sat stiffly, tense as a bowstring, her ear perked. Straining my own ears, I felt I could hear it too: a low, distant rumble of voices from below.

“What’s that?” I asked. “I thought it was closing time.”

“You know what? Why don’t I go check it out?” Pinkie asked, her smile widening for some reason. “I’ll be right back.”

She hopped off her bed and bounced away. leaving me by myself. Apparently, ponies could come and go as they pleased, even if an establishment was closed for the night. This was a weird world I’d stumbled into.

Sitting here by myself finally gave me time to ponder over my situation, and aside from the fact that I at least had a roof over my head, it didn’t look enviable on other counts. I only had one set of clothes, which had already grown dirty from all I’d done today (though Rarity promised to amend that), no toiletries (I probably stank too), no money (what was the exchange rate in Ponyville, anyway?), no phone (did they even get reception out here?). In fact, I didn’t even have a way of contacting my family.

My family...They must be beside themselves with worry by now, if they’d realized I was gone. I wracked my brains again, trying to remember what I had been doing before waking up in Equestria, but nothing came. The time before I had woken up was all a vague blur. If only I could just let them know I was fine, it would have made things much more bearable, but the very fact that I couldn’t, and that they would be saddled with worrying about me when I was alive and well, even across such a far distance, brought tears to my eyes, and a pain in my throat, as if I’d swallowed a baseball bat.

But it was worse, much worse.

What if I never got back to them at all? The pain in my throat increasing, I recalled all the times I’d been distant from them, impatient with them for being asked to do something, unwilling to partake in their activities when I didn’t feel like it, even if I wasn't even meaning to be rude. None of those times could ever be amended for. What if I’d gotten into a fight with my parents before being whisked off, and I never was to be given the chance to say ‘I’m sorry’ or ‘I love you’?

Such a thought burned in me like a hot iron, and the tears dripped onto my hands as I clenched them on my knees, trying my hardest to keep from sobbing.

(Mom...Dad...if only you could hear me...If only you knew...)

A sudden knocking at the door snapped me back to reality.

“Davie?” came Pinkie’s voice.

I swallowed, trying to keep my voice steady as I spoke.

“Yes, Pinkie?”

“Could you come with me? There’s something I need to show you.”

“Uh, sure, Pinkie. I’ll be there in one second,” I answered back.

I wiped my face on a corner of the comforter covering my bed, got up, and headed for the door. To all appearances, nothing had happened.

“That was like 10 one-seconds, mister,” said Pinkie, pouting, as I emerged.

I couldn’t help but grin. This pony really did know how to make others smile.

“Relax, Pinkie, I wouldn’t leave you hanging,” I said, ruffling her mane.

Her pout disappeared, and her smile returned.

“I know, silly. Now, come on! You don’t want to miss this!”

She dashed down the stairs leading back to the main area, and I followed, curious as to what I was urged not to ‘miss’. Was there a meteor shower tonight? Something about the moon? Whatever it was, it had put Pinkie into a profound excitement. As I approached her as she waited at the bottom of the stairs for me, I could see her pudgy body practically shivering with anticipation.

“Ok, what’s the big surprise?” I asked, crossing my arms, smiling at her behavior.

By way of answer, she pushed the door to the bakery open.

“SURPRISE!!!”

Whether it was the collective shouts that assailed my eardrums or the sheer force of the sight that met me that staggered me, I don’t think I could guess. At any rate, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing: Sugarcube Corner was packed with innumerable ponies, most of which I could recognize as either being part of the crowd in the town square, customers at Sugarcube Corner, or Pinkie’s closer friends. The only ones I couldn’t see were Twilight and Spike, no doubt absent because of the former’s headache. There were streamers and balloons set up, and a large table with tasty-looking refreshments and a punch bowl. Over in the corner was a turntable, where a grinning unicorn DJ wearing enormous shades was standing. I just stood there, absolutely bewildered.

“Pinkie…how…what…when did you have time to do all this??” I stammered.

“Easy!” said Pinkie, who was grinning from ear to ear. “I asked Derpy to go around and spread an impromptu invitation!”

She pointed to the pegasus with the wonky eyes, who smiled jovially and waved at me.

“After Mr. and Mrs. Cake were done upstairs, I took you up so that you wouldn’t see everypony come in! I went to go help set up, then came and got you!”

“Pinkie,” I said, after a stunned silence on my part, “I don’t know what to say.”

“Don’t, yet!” said Pinkie, still grinning. “There’s one more thing I have to do!”

She zipped off, and in the next instant, she returned with a small, colorfully-painted wagon, shaped vaguely like a treasure chest on wheels. She pressed a button on its side, there was a clicking and whirring noise, and the top slid open to reveal flags, trumpets, what looked like striped organ pipes, and a glass-fronted box. All at once, music, like a carnival calliope, began to play. As it did so, Pinkie began to caper and dance as if she were in a vaudeville performance, and then she started singing,

“Welcome, welcome, welcome, a fine welcome to you

Welcome, welcome, welcome, I say how do you do

Welcome, welcome, welcome, I say hip-hip-hoo-RAY

Welcome, welcome, welcome, to Po-ny-ville

To-DAAAAAAY!"

She finished this up with a slide on her knees, forelegs held high. The dance itself was funny to see, but she also had a surprisingly sweet singing voice.

“Wait for it!” said Pinkie, excitedly.

Then, suddenly, with a ding, the glass front on the box sprang open, and jettisoned a freshly-baked cake straight past me and onto a nearby table. So it was an oven; very clever. Then, the striped pipes let out a boom, and confetti came blasting out, raining it down on everyone present. Everypony attending applauded by stamping the floor with their hooves. I would have been surprised if the ruckus didn’t wake up the babies.

“Yes!” cheered Pinkie. “I knew I’d gotten it right!” She whispered as an aside to me, “You wouldn’t believe how many times I got the confetti and cake mixed up.”

I shuddered to imagine such an occurrence, but moreover, I was extremely touched. Pinkie had gone out of her way to give me a proper Ponyville welcome in her own way, when she hadn’t had the time or opportunity to do it earlier, and all planned out before dinnertime! I regarded her with re-misting eyes.

“Pinkie, you don’t know how much this means to me. Thank you.”

With a smile as warm as a preheated stove-top, she threw her forelegs around me in a hug, and I returned it. A collective “aww” floated through the attendees.

After Pinkie released me, I picked up a glass of water and held it up for a toast. I could a feel a speech in me on a whim.

“Everypony, before we get this party underway, I’d like to propose a few toasts.”

Everypony held up their own glasses, either with their hooves or by unicorn magic.

“First, to Twilight Sparkle, who I can see was unable to attend, due to a recent magic-induced headache. I’ve had the honor of meeting Miss Sparkle today, and can only express my regrets at her absence, and my wishes for her speedy recovery. To Twilight!”

“To Twilight!” said everypony.

“Second, to you, Ponyville. You’ve made a stranger outside of your norm feel as welcome as if I were one of you. I can only hope that during my stay, I can repay you for your kindness. To Ponyville!”

“To Ponyville!”

“Third, to Princess Celestia, who knows of my presence in Ponyville. I can only express my gratitude for her understanding of my situation, and hope to be of service to her when I can. To Princess Celestia!”

“To Princess Celestia!”

“And finally, but certainly not least…to Pinkie Pie.”

Pinkie looked up.

“It was she who discovered me, and if she hadn’t, I might not have been introduced to the Equestrian way quite as handily, as I’m told there’s no better friend than her. I heartily believe that now.”

Pinkie’s cheeks turned red with pleased embarrassment.

“To Pinkie Pie!”

“To Pinkie Pie!”

"All righty, then, Ponyville!" said Pinkie, bouncing up and down in excitement. "Let's get this party started!"


***


The DJ started up a record that wouldn’t have been out of place at a disco dance party, as everypony started dancing and mingling, and Pinkie led me around to introduce me to those in attendance that I hadn’t formally met. From her, I learned that the purple pony with the grapes cutie mark was named Berry Punch, a yellow mare I’d seen with a very curly orange mane and a carrot cutie mark was known as Golden Harvest, and she elaborated on the gray pegasus, Derpy Hooves. She was one of Ponyville’s mail carriers, and even if she sometimes misplaced her deliveries, she was very faithful and friendly, and had a deep fondness for muffins.

I was spared the awkwardness of trying to decide which of her mismatched eyes to focus on as Pinkie took me off to introduce me to more ponies. However, she got caught up in the music, which she claimed was her ‘jam’, and went to dance, so I was left to mingle by myself. Naturally, I gravitated over to where Pinkie’s other best friends were, gathered at the refreshment table. The four of them looked up and brightened at the sight of me.

“Well, well, it’s the man of the hour himself!” Rainbow said.

“Good to see you again, dear,” said Rarity.

“Howdy, big guy!” said Applejack.

“Hello again, Dave,” said Fluttershy.

“Hey, girls! Glad you could make it! Then again, I had no idea this would be going on. Pinkie’s really unpredictable.”

“Don’t we know it,” said Rarity, with a small sigh.

“But everypony knows that Pinkie throws the best parties in Ponyville!” said Rainbow.

“I can see why they'd say that,” I said. “I’ve never seen a party like this before. It’s amazing how much thought she puts into setting them up.”

“She always did have an eye for what’s ‘fun’,” said Rarity.

“So whatcha been up to?” asked Applejack.

“Well, Pinkie had actually treated me to a nice dinner of spaghetti and wheat balls,” I said.

“Oh, that sounds delicious!” said Fluttershy. “I have my own recipe for it, of course, but I’m sure hers was perfectly tasty, too.”

“You cook too, Fluttershy?” I asked, interested. 

She looked away, bashfully.

“Well, I wouldn’t say I’m good at it…” she mumbled.

“Aw, c’mon, sugarcube, don’t be so modest,” said Applejack, putting a friendly foreleg around the shy pegasus’s shoulders. She then said to me, “How do ya think she takes care of all them animals she keeps?”

“Good point,” I said.

“Really, I’m only good with soups and salads, mostly,” Fluttershy insisted. “So many of my pets are herbivores, anyway.”

I decided to pour myself a glass of punch while this was going on.

“What’s in this?” I asked.

It looked bluish-purple, and there were lemons in the punch bowl.

“Oh, it’s Pinkie’s special recipe,” said Rarity. “I believe she calls it a…” She tapped her chin with her hoof in thought. “What was it, Applejack?” she asked the farm pony.

“I think she said it was a ‘fruit-tastic jam-bonanza’,” said Applejack.

That did sound like something Pinkie would say.

“Ah, yes, thank you, dear. And it’s, er…Gummy’s favorite,” she added, with slight hesitation.

I wasn’t quite sure what the hesitation was for; maybe Rarity wasn’t a fan of reptiles, like me. At the worst, she could be implying that Gummy…Nah, that was just silly, and kinda gross. I took a sip, and my eyes popped wide open. It was like an explosion of fruit flavors dancing on my taste buds!

“…Wow!” I exclaimed. “It’s like Pinkie made two parties: one out here, and one in my mouth!”

“When Pinkie parties, she goes all out!” said Applejack.

“I can certainly see that. Bringing in a live DJ, too. I wonder how much that cost.”

“Probably not much,” said Rainbow. “Vinyl and Pinkie are pretty tight.”

“Vinyl?”

“Yeah, Vinyl Scratch, or DJ P0N-3. That’s her stage name.”

I looked over at the DJ. Her coat was white, and she had an electric-blue mane striped with lighter blue. She was wearing obnoxiously huge purple-tinted shades, and her cutie mark resembled a pair of musical eighth notes. She was up on her hind legs, fore hooves on the turntable, bobbing her head in time with the beat. Pinkie did seem to have a very wide, very diverse selection of friends. Then again, I suppose that was expected when you were friends with everyone in town.

Looking around at all the party guests, it made me realize how shabby and unkempt I must have looked, which in itself is a poor thing, being the guest of honor. Sure, my hair was fine, but my clothes were still worn and used-looking from the very active day I’d undertaken.

“Something wrong, dear?” Rarity asked.

“I just feel a little out of place with how messy I am among all you clean ponies,” I said, ruefully.

“Aw, it’s no big deal,” said Rainbow, waving an airy hoof. “You’ve got the perfect party animal look to you in that getup!”

“Do I?” I asked, puzzled.

“Trust me, dude, you’re fine.”

“And besides,” said Rarity, rolling her eyes at Rainbow Dash, “he shall have a fresh new ensemble soon enough. I’ll see to that.”

“Thanks, Rarity," I said. "It still means a lot to me that you’re willing to do this.”

“Oh, let’s not fret about that just now,” said Rarity, holding up her hoof. “This is a party, is it not?”

“So get your party on, monkey boy!” said Rainbow, giving my shoulder a punch.

“I’ll certainly try,” I said, rubbing my shoulder, though I added to myself, as I turned away, “I don’t think I’ve ever had a party to ‘get on’ in my life.”


***


*Special props to Daniel Ingram for composing Pinkie's Welcome Song*
> A Party to Remember
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

It would take too long describing that happened during that party; it was one of the best I’d ever attended, and I wasn't usually a party person. 

Pinkie had started a game of Pin the Tail on the Pony, which I, of course, was roped into taking part in. When I took my blindfold off to see where I’d pinned it, I cringed a little, as I had put it right at the pony’s snout, so that it looked like it had one half of a flamboyantly huge mustache (and anything with half a mustache must have been pretty hard on the eyes). This got a big laugh out of the ponies watching, and even I couldn’t help joining in.

Next, I managed to fall into talk with Bon Bon and Lyra again. The latter was no less excitable than earlier, and only made me smile at her antics when I saw that she was emulating the way a human would sit in a chair, rather than how a pony normally would. She went into a kind of relaxed slouch that reminded me of a man sitting in an armchair watching football on a lazy Sunday, complete with a little rounded belly. It was amusing to me, but Bon Bon looked exasperated; apparently, she did this a lot, just to push her buttons. 

As her friend was keeping an eye on her, Lyra didn’t dare try to plug me with questions about humans, but instead told me about the two of them. She was a lyre player, and a talented one at that, as ponies would tell you, originally from Canterlot, and had known Twilight before, but back when she had been more interested in her books than anything else. While they didn’t connect very often, they still stayed on relatively good terms, and she had even been made a bridesmaid at her brother’s wedding, but that was a long story, so she spared me of it. She also knew another fellow musician, a cellist named Octavia, who was part of a symphony orchestra. What surprised me was that Lyra told me she was on close terms with Vinyl Scratch, the DJ. I couldn’t even begin to comprehend how a cellist and a DJ could possibly be friends, but I figured it was just like how Rarity and Pinkie were friends.

As for Bon Bon, she was a confectioner, a maker of sweets down at the appropriately titled ‘Bon Bon’s Bonbons’. She even brought some of her best treats as refreshments. Gladly, I tried a sample, and was absolutely blown away by the chocolate decadence packed into such a tiny little treat. Lyra told me she got ‘free samples’ all the time, since she also assisted Bon Bon as a taste-tester at her shop. The candy-maker joked that Lyra’s love for her confections certainly showed on her, giving her a poke in her belly to emphasize. I couldn’t help but smile at the friendship of these two. They seemed so different, yet went together as if they had been meant to all along, just like Pinkie’s friends. 

While Rainbow Dash was impressing some ponies in a corner with mid-air juggling, Fluttershy watching with an expression of mixed apprehension and excitement, something else was going on in the center of the room. Heaping buckets of apples had been brought in, no doubt part of the refreshments, and Pinkie seemed to have bet Applejack she couldn’t eat more than she could, let alone finish what was in front of her. The steely glare that appeared in the farm mare’s eyes told me that she took that as a bona fide challenge, and was ready to prove Pinkie wrong. Something like this could only end badly, but unfortunately, I was unable to intervene, as the contest began. 

Both ponies ate with stupefying vigor, shoveling apples into their mouths and down their throats. Rarity, who was watching, looked disgusted at the display, but Rainbow, who had stopped juggling to observe the contest, was whooping and hollering at the top of her lungs, though who she was rooting for I didn’t know. In the space of mere minutes, both buckets were emptied, so it seemed the contest was a tie, but the real victory seemed to be in the conditions of the competitors. Pinkie was looking full and satisfied, patting her rounded middle, while Applejack was looking queasy, one hoof to her overloaded stomach. In the midst of the cheering, I came over and told her that she at least managed to eat all of them, but that seemed to only make her cheeks greener, so I backed off.


***
	

As all good things eventually come to an end, the party finally seemed to wind down around midnight. Pinkie appeared to recognize it as well, as she signaled to Vinyl Scratch. The unicorn nodded and grabbed the nearby microphone with her magic, speaking into it in a sort of “too cool for rules” voice.

“All right, everypony! Just got a word from the Pinkster! She hereby names this bash a complete success!” 

Many cheers came from the ponies still standing. Others were just plain pooped. 

“You’ve all been great, and I wanna give a shout-out to our guest of honor, human Dave! Great party, dude! This is DJ P0N-3, signing out!” 

With one deep, reverberating note, the turntable switched off, and I joined in the applause that followed. I strolled over to the DJ as she started packing up.

“That was some pretty impressive record-work, Miss Scratch,” I said. 

She looked up. 

“Whoa, man, Miss Scratch is what the teachers called me when they wanted to tell me off. Just Vinyl’s ok.”

“Right, sorry. Vinyl. Lord knows one of the things that keeps a party afloat is a DJ with an ear for a good beat.”

“Ah, thanks, man,” she said, giving me a friendly punch on the arm. 

It seemed like the tomboys were always ready to hit me to show affection, but I guess that was just their way. I left her to continue packing up, and when I turned back, she actually lifted her shades, showing me vibrant red-purple eyes, and winked. I gave her a small smile in return and headed for the door, where the guests were wishing each other good night and heading off, but not before wishing me a good night in turn. Lyra had fallen asleep and was snoring noisily, so Bon Bon had to carry her off on her back. It didn’t look like a very comfortable burden, and I offered to help, but Bon Bon shook her head.

“It’s all right, really. It’s not the first time it’s happened, trust me.” 

She gave a small giggle and staggered out the door with her roommate draped across her back. I guess it was true what they say: those who party the hardest also crash the hardest. 

The last to leave were Pinkie’s other friends. They seemed to want to help clean up, but the pink pony insisted that they didn’t have to stick around.

“Really, Pinkie, it's the least we can do,” said Rarity, gingerly holding her hoof up to avoid stepping on a discarded banana peel, regarding it as if it were a poisonous spider.

“Well, I mean, it'd be easier if I had a reverse party cannon for after parties,” said Pinkie, a twinkle of inspiration in her eye.

“Trust me, Pinkie, I don’t think the world is ready for that yet,” Rainbow said. 

Rarity was using her magic to levitate trash and throw it into the nearby garbage cans. It was amazing how much she could pick up, which was lucky, considering how squeamish she was around the clutter and mess. Rainbow Dash was at work clearing up by swooping around the tables at remarkable speed, going in and out from the room in multiple trips as she cleared away. Fluttershy looked as if she were about to fall asleep on her hooves, and Applejack was keeping her steady, though she still looked sick and a little bloated. I decided to come over and talk.

“Hey, Applejack?”

“Hmm?” She looked up.

“Are you gonna be all right? I mean, you look kind of…ill.”

“Aw, shucks, don’t you fret none, sugarcube,” she said, with a wave of her hoof. “Ah’m no stranger to eatin’ contests. When Big Mac and Ah were younger, we used to turn meal times into an all-out war.” 

I couldn’t help but chuckle at the thought. 

“I’ll bet Granny Smith didn’t like that one bit.”

“Actually, she was the judge,” said Applejack, grinning when she saw the surprise that answer brought me, “and a downright hard one to please. She’d inspect our plates if it looked like we tied, and Ah swear, she’d always side with Big Mac.” 

She gave a huffy snort, but still smiled all the same.

“Still, do you need any help getting home?” I asked.

“Nah, Ah’ll be all right. A little jog home might do me some good. Thanks for asking, though. It’s awful sweet of ya.”

“Aw, well,” I said, bashfully. 

At that moment, Fluttershy stirred.

“Huh? Whuh? Oh, dear, did I fall asleep? I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be, Fluttershy,” I said. “Party’s over, and we’re all a little tired.”

“Oh, that’s good to hear,” she said, yawning. “I’d better be getting home, then.”

“Ah’ll walk with ya, Fluttershy,” said Applejack. “No sense in letting ya head home alone if ya can’t even stay awake on your hooves.”

“Oh, Applejack, I couldn’t possibly-”

“Hush,” said Applejack, gently, but firmly. “Y’all just get on my back. No arguments,” she added, as she saw the pegasus’s mouth about to open to protest, “Ah’m used to carryin’ heavy loads on my back, and yer practically light as a feather.”

“…All right.” 

Fluttershy clambered, a little awkwardly, onto the sturdy Earth pony’s back. 

“Are you sure I’m not too much of a load, Applejack?” she asked, timidly.

“Huh?" asked Applejack, giving quite a show of surprise. "Oh, did you already climb on, Fluttershy? Ah didn’t notice.” 

She winked, and that brought a smile to the pegasus’s face.

“Good night, you two,” I said, with a chuckle.

“‘Night.”

“Good night, Dave.” 

With that, Applejack walked off with her sleepy friend on her back, wishing the others good night as she went.

“Well, I think that should do it,” said Rarity, the glow fading from her horn. 

I couldn’t help but stare. It seemed as if I’d only taken my eyes off for a few moments, but she and Rainbow had done wonders. In the space of my conversation with Applejack, the room was tidy once again, all traces of the party whisked away.

“Wow,” I breathed. “I never thought you two would make quite the clean-team.”

“Well, all it takes is an eye for detail and a bit of elbow grease,” said Rarity.

“Yeah! Rarity’s got the eye, and I’ve got the…” 

Rainbow stopped mid-sentence, and her tone immediately changed to one of indignation. 

“Hey, did you just call me greasy?”

“Certainly not, Rainbow!” said Rarity, sounding scandalized. “Perish the thought!"

"Good," said Rainbow, grinning cockily. "I may be a well-oiled machine when I'm at the top of my game, but I'm no grease-monkey."

"I never implied anything of the sort, Rainbow Dash," said Rarity. "Although, I have to wonder how much 'grease' goes into making your mane stay the way it is.”

“Oh, you can't get locks like this with any gel,” said Rainbow, giving her unruly mane a toss. “All-natural, 100% Dash. I’ve got my own personal charm.” 

There was no denying that. For all her bragging and her rough-and-tumble attitude, the tomboyish haircut did suit her rather nicely, at least to me. Rarity rolled her eyes with a light smile.

“Well, then, dears, I should be off home. I just hope Sweetie Belle’s asleep by now.”

“Your sister?" I asked. "What’s she been up to all night?”

“She did insist on coming, but it’s a school night, and I wouldn’t hear of it, so I sent her to bed early. You just have to be firm sometimes.”

“Yeah, I guess. Well, good night, Rarity.”

“Good night, darling. I’ll see you later.” 

She trotted out the door.

“See her about what?” asked Rainbow, raising an intrigued eyebrow.

“Keep your suspicions to yourself, Miss Dash,” I said, flatly. “It's about those new clothes Rarity mentioned earlier, since these are the only ones I have.” 

Rainbow stared, then burst out laughing. 

“What? I mean it!” I said, indignantly.

“No, not that!’ she managed to gasp out. “It’s just, the way you said that was so serious, it was funny! Especially with that face!”

“What face?” I asked, arching an eyebrow. 

Rainbow snorted, trying to choke back another laugh. I couldn’t help but feel a bit nettled. Back home, I was often told that I ought to have a better sense of humor. My sense of humor was just fine; I just didn’t like being laughed at.

“Aw, come on, don’t get mad,” said Rainbow, calming down enough to speak. “I’m just teasing you.”

“I know, I know,” I said, with a sigh. “I just like being taken seriously too, you know.”

“You just gotta loosen up. That’s what the party was for.” 

She cuffed my shoulder, though not as roughly as earlier. 

“Sleep tight, dude. Night, Pinks!” 

She swooped off through the door.

“Night, Dashie!” called Pinkie, before turning to me. “Well, Davie, I think it’s time we headed for bed, too.”

“I agree, Pinkie," I said, yawning. "I’m exhausted.”

Slowly, the two of us made our way upstairs, Pinkie’s full stomach wobbling slightly with each step. She winced every so often, but was still smiling. I think she may have overdid it with the apples.

Gummy was already curled up in his little basket when we arrived, gazing at me with his purple eyes. I hadn’t had the opportunity of properly addressing myself to him before, so I decided to walk over and kneel by him. His gaze followed me as he rolled over onto his back. In a way, he was kind of cute.

“Hey, little fella,” I said. 

I reached out a tentative hand. Luckily, he didn’t snap at me (even if there was no danger in it), and allowed me to scratch under his chin. His eyes closed in bliss as I scratched, and one of his little back feet kicked. I couldn’t help laughing; the mini-gator was like a puppy, if puppies were smooth, scaly, and bug-eyed. In fact, he acted a lot like a dog I had back home. 

“You like that, don’t you?” I cooed. “Who’s a good boy? You are, yes you are.”

“Aww, I think he likes you!” said Pinkie, who was watching.

“Heh, yeah. I’m not trying this on a full-grown gator anytime soon, though.” 

Pinkie giggled, but it was interrupted by a groan as she clutched her belly.

“Owie. I think I’m still too full from the party.”

“Does it happen often?” I asked, a bit concerned.

“Sometimes. I think it’s just when I get carried away, like at really super-duper fun parties.”

“Like tonight’s?” I asked.

“Like tonight’s,” she said, with a smile. 

I smiled back, then looked back at Gummy. He had turned over onto his side and was breathing quietly, sound asleep. I pulled the little blanket at the end over him.

“Sweet dreams, Gummy,” I murmured.

“You’re a natural,” said Pinkie, sweetly.

“Guess you rubbed off on me, with the twins,” I said. 

Pinkie’s eyes widened, and she looked at her side.

“I rubbed off on you? I didn’t know you could do that! Did I lose some of me?”

“I didn't mean...Oh, never mind. Let's just get some sleep. I haven’t got any pajamas, so I’ll have to sleep like this. Shouldn’t be too bad, though. It’s a cool night.” 

I crossed over to my mattress and settled down on it. I took off my glasses and my wrist watch (thankfully, the latter was still functioning) and set them on the bedside table. Pinkie had managed to heave herself onto her own bed.

“Good night, Davie!” she said.

“Good night, Pinkie.” 

Pinkie reached over and clicked off the light, plunging the room into darkness, save for the moon filtering through the window. I laid my head back against the pillow and closed my eyes, letting the coziness of the bed and the utter quiet around me envelop me and drift me off to slumber. It had been an extremely weird day, but at least I’d survived. Now, all there was to think about was what tomorrow would bring.


***


“…vie?”

“Da…e?”

“Davie?”

I groaned. Something was prodding me in the ribs. I had no idea what time it was, or if any time had even passed. I was not about to look at my watch and give myself a reason to gripe. Turning over, I saw Pinkie. She was looking at me with a sad, almost pleading expression.

“Pinkie?” I muttered. “What is it?”

“My tummy really hurts, and I was having bad dreams.”

“You were? Well, I don’t want to sound rude, Pinkie, but that’s what happens when you eat so much before bed.”

“I know. I ought to know that better than anypony, but it’s never been as bad as this.” 

Groggy as I was, I couldn’t help but feel pity at how pained Pinkie looked, even if she did bring it upon herself.

“Well, what do you want me to do about it?” I asked.

“I know this is gonna sound weird, but could I sleep in your bed? With you? Maybe you could rub my tummy, make it feel better?”

(She can't seriously be asking this, can she?)

"No," I groaned, before I could stop myself.

"No?" asked Pinkie, and her hurt tone caught me off guard.

"Maybe?"

"Maybe?"

"I don't know."

"Please?"

This was just way too bizarre. She was actually asking me to rub her belly? True, it was because she had a stomachache, but still...From what I'd seen in just this one day, in this world, ponies were equal to what humans would be in my world. Wouldn’t this be peculiar? I just didn’t know what to do. I was torn between a desire to help and concern for not understanding what was acceptable or unacceptable in pony society. That was just like me: never sure about doing anything unless I knew it wouldn’t be weird or taboo. There was a word for it that people preferred to label it with: wishy-washy.

I looked at Pinkie, and there was a loud, angry gurgle from her pained belly as she winced with a small whimper, her ears flattening. 

That was the last straw.

(Confound these ponies. It should be illegal for them to be so cute.)

“Climb aboard, Pinkie,” I said, with only a hint of resignation. 

Her pained frown turned into a smile.

“Oh, thank you, Davie,” she said. 

She clambered onto the bed, making it creak with the extra weight, and turned over onto her back so that she was lying on top of me (almost crushing me with her weight), her head under my chin, her blue eyes gazing up at me cutely. I couldn’t suppress an eye roll at what I was about to do, but I manned up and began gently massaging her middle. It felt warm, soft, and squishy beneath my touch as I ran my hand in a circular movement around it. I still couldn’t believe I was doing this, but Pinkie at least seemed to relax, as she let out a sigh.

“Pinkie, you are going to tell me when I can stop, right?”

No answer.

“Pinkie?…Pinkie!”

“Huh? Whuh?”

“I said you are going to tell me when I can stop, right?”

“Oh! Yeah, of course!”

“Good.” 

I just lay there in silence, my hand automatically rubbing her stomach as if on autopilot, as she settled into me cozily.

“Did you have fun tonight?” she finally asked.

“Eh? Oh, of course I did. It was a nice finish to what was otherwise a weird day. I still can’t believe it only happened in one day.”

“But was it still a good day?”

“Of course it was. I mean, I still wish I knew how the heck I got here, but Ponyville…it’s starting to grow on me.”

“Is it? Ooh, that sounds painful, and kind of gross!”

“What are you-” I was about to ask, but then it hit me, and I couldn’t even muster a groan or slap my forehead at the absurdity of it. “Seriously, Pinkie?”

“What?” she asked, innocently.

“Nothing. You are just so random.” 

I gently ticked her side, and she giggled, wriggling her back legs. 

"You wanna know something else, though, Pinkie?"

"What?"

"I may have thought you were, well, a little weird at first, but I'm glad you're my friend."

I saw Pinkie smile that cute, warm smile of hers.

"Thanks, Davie. I'm glad you're my friend, too."

There was another loud gurgle, and she suddenly grimaced. 

“Pinkie? Are you ok?” 

The gurgling persisted, and then, without warning…

*BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!*

It was astounding how the room was still standing after a gastronomical explosion of that magnitude, and the Cakes, especially those twins of theirs, must have been heavy sleepers to survive that kind of noise. I, for my part, was at a loss for words. Now, I liked toilet humor just as much as the next person, but I had never witnessed a belch quite like that. At the very least, Pinkie’s gut had noticeably shrunken to about its normal size, though still a bit doughy to the touch. I guess the bloating and discomfort was just gas.

“Feel better?” I asked, gently, resisting the urge to gag.

“Much!” she said, grinning. “Thanks, Davie. That really helped.”

“Glad to be of service,” I said, ironically.

“So, I guess you can stop now.” 

I removed my hand, but she just made herself more comfortable.

“Uh, Pinkie?”

“Hmm?”

“This wasn’t part of the deal.”

“Aww, but you’re so warm and cozy. Just for tonight?” 

She looked up at me with those big puppy dog eyes. Now that was just an unfair tactic…

“All right, all right,” I said, with a sigh, “but just for tonight.”

“Yay!” 

She turned over, wrapped her forelegs around me and snuggled closer. I sighed and tugged the blanket up over the both of us. Still, I couldn’t stay too mad at her. If it weren’t for her, I might not even have been here.

“Pinkie?”

“Mm?”

“Thanks…for letting me stay, for the party, for showing me around. It really was very sweet of you.”

“You’re welcome, Davie. You’ve still got a lot of learning to do, though.”

“Of course, and I wouldn’t learn from anyone else but the best,” I said. 

She smiled, though her eyes were closed and she was already drifting off.

“Good night, Davie."

"Good night, Pinkie."
> Morning in Ponyville
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Even with my eyes closed, I could still feel the sun shining into the room, and I groaned. I wasn’t a morning person, by any stretch of the imagination. Even when I knew I should probably get up, I didn’t want to just get out of bed. Call it silly, but I just couldn’t tear myself away from the coziness of my sheets so easily when it was too early. Perhaps that was it; maybe it was the familiar feeling of not wanting to get out of bed that made me wonder if I was not, after all, back at home, and that everything that had happened had all been a fantastic dream.

“It was just a dream,” I muttered to myself. “I dreamed that I’d landed in a world called Equestria, and I met a bunch of talking ponies, and walked around with one named Pinkie Pie, and we had a huge party until midnight. When I open my eyes, I’ll be right back in my own bed at home.” 

I couldn't hold back a hint of regret as I said it, as it had been a pretty pleasant dream, if dream it was. 

Slowly, I pried my eyes open…and found myself gazing into Gummy’s blankly-staring face.

So it wasn’t a dream after all.

“This is real, then?" I asked. "I really am lying on a bed in Pinkie’s room, with a miniature alligator staring me in the face?” 

Gummy’s purplish eyes blinked unevenly in response. 

“That’s what I thought.” 

I shifted to get up, and Gummy scurried off of me and onto the floor. I glanced at my watch. It read 7:00, so it was no wonder why I wasn’t feeling up to getting up. Pinkie was nowhere in sight, and I wondered when she’d left. All I remembered was her snuggled warmly against me, sleeping soundly. Then again, I slept like a rock, so it wouldn’t have been difficult to do something beyond my notice while I was asleep. It had been a weird, yet not wholly unpleasant feeling, Pinkie sleeping beside me. It had been like a very warm teddy bear or a faithful dog resting against me, comforting and reassuring. 

I stretched, feeling the old aches from yesterday disappearing, then wondered what I ought to do. Obviously, since Equestrian ponies lived like humans in my world, they’d practice human-like cleanliness, but I wasn’t too jazzed about showering just to put on old clothes again. Still, what else could I do?

“If Pinkie comes back,” I said, looking at Gummy, “can you tell her I’m using the bathroom?” 

Gummy gave his tail a small twitch, which I hoped was affirmative. 

“Great, thanks.” 

I left the room and headed off to the bathroom.


***


Within 10 minutes, I was gratefully washing off the grime and weariness from yesterday, feeling wholly refreshed and renewed. Since I didn’t have my own toiletries, I’d had to make due with the Cakes’ soap and shampoo. The bottle had said it was for manes, but surely it wouldn’t have any adverse side effects on human hair…right? 

For a while, I didn’t want to leave, and just stood under the relaxingly warm water, letting it soothe the aches I’d ignored from all the excitement I had experienced. At last, however, I switched the water off, grabbed a towel from nearby, and, after rubbing myself dry and wrapping it around my waist, I stepped out of the shower. 

Good thing, too, for, after a preliminary knock, the door opened, and Mrs. Cake peered in. We were both quite startled. I stumbled back against the tub and nearly toppled back in.

“Oh! Goodness! Dave, I am so sorry!” said Mrs. Cake, shielding her face with her hoof. “I must not have heard the water going.”

“Oh, no, no! It’s not your fault, Mrs. Cake,” I managed to say, feeling like I almost had a heart attack. “I should have remembered to lock the door.” 

I internally scolded myself for forgetting this most basic rule of privacy. It would have been a lot more awkward if I had not had my towel on, so I also thanked myself for taking precaution.

“I was just coming up to see if you were awake, dear,” said Mrs. Cake. “Breakfast will be ready shortly.”

“Great! Thanks. Again, sorry about-”

“Oh, no trouble at all. My fault for being a nosey Nellie.” 

She laughed good-naturedly, then closed the door behind her. I gave myself a slap in the forehead for being such a forgetful dunce, then, making sure I locked the door this time, I went about getting dressed.


***


As I imagined, it didn’t feel too pleasant having to dress back in used clothes, but I would have to make due for the time being, until Rarity could manage to make me new ones. I figured it would be quite a pricey operation to accomplish, and I’d most definitely need to talk to Pinkie about how bits worked. Whatever the case, I came downstairs, re-dressed, to find the Cakes seated at one of the tables in the main area, enjoying breakfast. Pound and Pumpkin were awake and seated in high chairs, sucking on milk bottles. They stopped drinking to gaze at me with big, curiosity-filled eyes, brown for Pound and blue for Pumpkin.

“Hello there!” I cooed, crouching in front of them. “You must be Pound and Pumpkin.” 

They just continued to stare at me in interest, so I pulled a silly face in front of them, hoping to make them laugh. Instead, I felt a sharp pain stab the back of my hand, as if someone had slammed a hammer down on my knuckles. I had leaned my left hand on Pound Cake’s high chair, and he had slapped his two little hooves down on it with incredible force. That must be where the little tyke got his name…

The pained grimace I made seemed to be enough to get them laughing, so I forced a smile. 

(Lovely. They’re the kind of babies that laugh at other peoples’ pain…)

“Oh! Morning, Davie!” 

I breathed a sigh of relief at this timely diversion. I turned to see Pinkie back out of the kitchen, a stack of pancakes balanced on her back. She slid it off onto a nearby table, then trotted over, grinning. 

“Sleep well?” she asked.

“Like a log," I said. "How long have you been up?”

“Since dawn. We’ve got to be up super-duper early to get ready for the morning rush!” 

I felt a pang of nervousness at the sound of that, and it must have shown on my face, as she added, 

“Don’t worry! We’ve still got time. So, you’ve been playing with Pound and Pumpkin?”

“You could say that,” I said, massaging my sore hand. “Listen, Pinkie, we need to talk seriously for a bit.”

“For a bit? Ooh! Like for a contest? Seems like an itty-bitty prize, but sure, I’ll try!” 

I had no idea what she was talking about, but then she lowered her eyebrows in a glare and spoke in a hoarse deadpan.

“You gotta ask yourself, ‘do I feel lucky?’ Well? Do ya, punk?” 

She said ‘punk’ with especial emphasis, causing her to spit in my glasses. She continued glaring at me, seriously creeping me out, but couldn’t seem to hold it in for much longer, and burst into a bout of giggles. 

“That was fun! Where’s my bit?”

“I don’t have any, Pinkie," I said, dryly, "and that was my point. We need to talk about how I’m going to get by money-wise.” 

Her eyes widened in comprehension. 

“Ohh! Why didn’t you say so in the first place, silly billy? Have a seat, and we’ll talk!” 

She hopped over to one side of the table, and I, rolling my eyes at her antics, sat down opposite her. From there, she doled out heaping piles of pancakes, and we dug in, talking in between bites.

“So, as you already know, Pinkie, I’m broke, and I have no idea how the Equestrian economy works, beyond knowing you use ‘bits’. Do you think you can teach me how to use them?”

“Okie-dokie-lokie!” 

From seemingly nowhere, she hauled out a burlap sack that made a loud jangling when it hit the table. My eyes widened at the sight. It was about the size of a grocery bag, but full to bursting with little gold coins. Just the allure of such a bounty of gold would have brought a hoard of ‘49-er miners bursting from the ground with a ‘YEE-HAW!’

“Is that your life savings or something?” I asked.

“Nah, it’s just my month’s salary.”

My jaw dropped.

“That's a month’s salary?!”

“Lots of hungry ponies in Ponyville!” said Pinkie, happily. "Plus, some of these are from parties I throw, even though I'm more than happy to do them for free!"

“Sounds like you’ve got a neat and tidy profit going, Pinkie,” I said, impressed.

“You bet!”

“Well, I'm going to need some basic essentials to start off," I said, "like toiletries, but I don't want to have to dip into your money.”

“Aw, don’t worry, silly!" said Pinkie. "I’ll come with you to help you shop! You do the picking, and I’ll do the paying!”

“But, what about the morning rush?" I asked. "Won’t the Cakes need you?”

"Oh, we'll be fine, don't you worry," said Mr. Cake. "She's a big help during the rush, but we can hold down the fort until she gets back."

“So, we’ve got the whole morning to get you squared away,” Pinkie said, then became thoughtful again, “but why would anyone want to be ‘squared’ away? What about ‘circled’ away? Or even ‘triangled’ away?” 

I sighed and shook my head, returning to my pancakes.


***


True to her word, as soon as breakfast was over, Pinkie led me out of Sugarcube Corner. She went along at her usual bouncing trot, while I strode alongside her, trying to keep up. Somewhere, a bell tower rang loud and clear, and I looked down at my watch. 8:00.

As if on command, by the bell, the ground began rumbling, and what seemed to be a stampede of ponies began dashing its way toward us. I stepped back, plastering my back against the nearest shop to avoid the incoming mass. Pinkie jumped back as well, but with nothing close to surprise or fear on her face. It seemed that these ponies were all part of the early morning rush for Sugarcube Corner. Pinkie made a rapid-fire hello to all the ponies as they went by, in one continuous stream.

“Hi-Lily-Hi-Daisy-Hi-Rose-Hi-Caramel-Hi-June Bug-Hi-Bon Bon-Hi-Lyra-Hi-Golden Harvest-Hi-Berry Punch-Hi-Shoeshine-Hi-Goldengrape-Hi-Cherry Berry-Hi-Lucky-Hi-Noteworthy-and HELLOOOOOO, Derpy!” 

The last came to a stop as Pinkie called her name, and I saw it was indeed Derpy, the wonkey-eyed pegasus from yesterday, though she was walking instead of flying. She spotted us and trotted over with a big grin.

“Morning, Pinkie Pie! Hello, Mr. Dave!”

“Hi again, Derpy,” I said. “Part of the early morning rush, huh?”

“Yeah, but even when I get up early, I’m still behind the rest of the pack,” she said, a bit sheepishly.

“Aw, don’t worry, Derpy. We’ll always have a fresh, hot muffin waiting for you!” said Pinkie. 

Derpy’s smile broadened. 

“Thanks, Pinkie," she said. "That means a lot. It’s not just the breakfast rush, though. I also need to drop off my little muffin for school before collecting the morning mail.”

I raised an eyebrow. Dropping off a ‘muffin’ for school? 

Just then, I saw movement by Derpy’s back legs. A tiny face peered from behind them, then ducked away when they noticed I was looking. 

“Who’s that?” I asked. 

Derpy followed my gaze and gave a slight chuckle. 

“My little muffin.” 

She leaned down and said, softly, “It’s ok, Dinky. Come on out. He’s a friend.” 

Slowly, very slowly, a little filly, slightly smaller than Apple Bloom, shuffled out from behind Derpy. She was a unicorn, purplish in color, but still had Derpy’s messy blond mane and yellow eyes. She swung one of her forelegs, nervously, looking up at me once before looking away again. She was absolutely adorable, in her shy way. I felt like my heart was either going to melt or burst from my rib cage.

“Hi, Dinky!” cooed Pinkie, leaning down to meet her eye-level. 

Dinky looked up with a happy gasp. 

“Pinkie!” she chirped, running over to hug her. 

Derpy smiled warmly, and I stepped over to stand beside her and watch. The little filly began tickling Pinkie, who wriggled on the ground, laughing.

“Your daughter?” I asked.

“Yeah. She’s seen me through my toughest days on the job. Neither storm nor rain nor heat nor gloom will make me let my little muffin down.” 

I couldn’t help feeling a bit of mixed emotions at this. One the one hand, I had no idea Derpy was old enough to have a filly Dinky’s age. Then again, animals did age differently from humans. On the other hand, it was extremely endearing and comforting to know that underneath Derpy’s strange appearance and name, she had a very warm, caring heart. As she didn’t mention a father, however, I didn't think it would be right to bring it up, along with asking the obvious ‘if you’re a pegasus, why is she a unicorn’ question.

“You’re a credit to working mothers, Derpy.”

“Heh. Thanks, Mr. Dave.” 

She looked up at me with a kind smile. What interested me, though, was that, at that moment, her eyes were correctly aligned. I returned the smile, and she then returned her attention to the playing ponies.

“Come on, Dinky! We don’t want to be late!” 

Pinkie let out a disappointed “aww” as Dinky jumped off of her to rejoin her mother. She nuzzled against her side, and Derpy leaned down to lovingly nose her. 

“See you guys later!” she said to us.

“Bye, Derpy!” said Pinkie.

“See you!” I said.

Derpy and Dinky hurried off to rejoin the breakfast rush, and Pinkie returned to my side.

“I have to admit,” I said, “she's full of surprises.”

“What do you mean?”

“I never took her to be a mother, but she’s certainly got the heart for it.”

“Yeah, and don't worry about Dinky. She warms up to new ponies really quickly, once she gets to know them. You'll be friends soon enough!"

"Think so?"

"I know so! Well, come on, Davie! We’ve got shopping to do!” 

What else could I do but follow her as she bounced along.


***


Just like Pinkie said, all I had to do was browse around to find what I needed, and she supplied the bits for it, without any reluctance or protestations. The prices were unusually reasonable, too: 2 bits for a bar of soap, 4 for shampoo and hair gel each, 1 for a toothbrush and a tube of toothpaste each, 3 for a loofah sponge, 5 for a shaving razor, and 4 for a large bath towel. I guess when you buy with gold, it makes everything seem reasonably priced. I didn’t bother with food shopping, as I was willing to go with whatever Pinkie and the Cakes cooked, and they took regular shopping days every week. So, by the end of an hour, I was comfortably squared away, and I still had until 2 to see Rarity.

Pinkie had actually shown me how ponies carried things around with them: in large saddlebags clasped around the waist, the two bags positioned at the hips. like a fanny pack. They must have seemed fashionable for ponies, but to be honest, I didn't think I could wear them like that. Maybe over the shoulder, like a mailbag? Pinkie had put on her own pair, bright blue with a balloon clasp, and had her money in one bag and my purchases in the other. I insisted on carrying them myself, but she told me it was no big deal. In fact, she went along in her usual way as if she weren’t weighed down at all. I couldn’t help but wonder if the laws of physics simply had any effect on her.

We passed by the Ponyville marketplace as we were coming back. This was where fresh food and flowers were sold in their respective carts and stalls. I could see stands for asparagus, carrots, celery, corn, tomatoes, cherries, practically any food found in the produce section of a grocery store. The one that caught my attention, however, was the apple stand. Standing by it, keeping an eye out for customers as well as watching the supplies, was Big Macintosh, Applejack’s older brother.

“Hi, Big Mac!” said Pinkie. 

Big Macintosh looked up and spotted us, giving us a polite nod.

“Hey, Big Macintosh. Everything going good?” I asked.

“Eeyup.”

“Anything big planned for today?”

“Nope.” 

“Just market work?”

“Eeyup.”

I felt a bit at a loss for what to say, what with his monosyllabic answers. Big Macintosh hadn’t spoken much yesterday, beyond that one word at brunch, and I could sort of guess he was the type that was more action than words. Still, I wasn’t sure whether it was because he was simple or just shy.

“Did Applejack get home all right?”

“Eeyup.”

“That’s good. I was a bit worried about her, what with that apple-scarfing contest last night. She’s told me you two have been regular rivals at the dinner table, though.”

“Eeyup,” said Big Macintosh, with a grin.

“I sometimes have eating contests with Pound and Pumpkin at lunch time, to see who can eat the fastest!” said Pinkie.

“And how do those go?” I ask.

“Hard to tell. They finish faster, but most of it goes on their faces. Silly foals!” 

I chuckled at this.

“Guess they don’t know the rules of the game,” I said. 

I looked at Big Macintosh, then at the apples. 

“Say, Pinkie, you hungry for an apple?”

“Always!”

“We’ll take two, Big Mac,” I said. "Er, you don't mind me calling you that, do you?"

"Nope."

Big Mac doled out two big juicy apples, and Pinkie dumped 2 bits into the box used for a cash register. 

“Thanks. Have a good day, Big Mac.”

“You too, Mr. Dave, Pinkie Pie.” 

I gave a start, as these words came at me while our backs were turned. So he could say more than just 'Eeyup' and 'Nope'! Pinkie didn’t seem to notice, and she just trotted on, munching her apple. I whirled around to look at the spontaneously verbal stallion, but he only gave me something like a sly smile, as if he knew he'd just pulled a joke on me, so all I could do was keep going, befuddled.

(One thing’s for sure, these ponies never cease to surprise a person.)


***
	

As we returned homeward, however, Pinkie looked like something was troubling her.

“What’s wrong, Pinkie?”

“Sorry, Davie. With all that’s happened yesterday, I never got to tell you. I’m going to be super busy today, helping Mr. and Mrs. Cake and looking after the babies. Work really picks up after the morning rush.”

“Oh,” I said. 

I was faintly disappointed that I wouldn’t be able to spend the day with Pinkie, but mostly because, so far, she had been my guide as well as my friend. I’d have gotten lost if she hadn’t be there by my side. Still, I was no stranger to disappointment and changes in plans, so I would have to make do with it and respect her schedule. 

Seeing the worried look on her face, no doubt at the thought of me taking the news badly, I said, patting her mane consolingly, 

“Don’t worry about it. You’ve got a job. I’d be the worst friend in the world if I kept you from that.” 

She looked up at me with a grateful smile.

“Thanks, Davie. I was worried you wouldn’t understand.”

“As much as I’d love to be able to spend the day with you, I know you’ve got stuff to do. This could be a great opportunity for me to explore, you know?”

“Yeah! Great idea! Well, I’d better skedaddle. I’ll put your stuff in my room for when you get back.”

“Sounds great. Have a good day, Pinkie.”

“You too!” 

After giving me a quick hug, she bounced off towards Sugarcube Corner, humming to herself. I watched her go, until her vivid double shades of pink were out of sight, then looked about at the wide, expansive Ponyville that lay before me. Not one minute in, and already I was lost for options.

> An Afternoon With Twi
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

As I stood in the middle of the square, just watching the other ponies milling about, occasionally taking a bite of my apple, I became overtaken by that feeling that haunted nearly my every waking moment: uncertain indecisiveness. Honestly, it could be either uncertainty or indecisiveness, but I felt like combining the two was a much more appropriate term. This was where I had a lot of options open before me, but I had no idea which to take. Sometimes it was because I didn’t want to favor one choice over the other, especially if I had done it so many times before. Sometimes it was because I was trying to think out of concern for my peers. I was the sort of person who hated letting people down or disappointing them, so I most often had to go along with doing something I didn’t particularly enjoy or want to do, just for the sake of keeping them from feeling disappointed. 

Call it whatever, but I just preferred to think that I was just trying to look out for others, even if it didn’t always look that way on the surface. Should I visit Fluttershy? Was she even awake after the party last night? Applejack was probably still trying to sleep off that apple-eating contest. Rainbow Dash was out of the question, since I had no way of accessing the skies.

And then it hit me. I even smacked myself in the forehead for not thinking of it before. 

Twilight! The library! I could head on over there, spend some time with her and Spike, let myself get lost in a good book. With this plan in mind, I finished off my apple, tossed away the core into a trash can, and directed my steps to the Ponyville library.


***


Within minutes, I was standing outside the library, and I knocked on the door. There was a small clatter, like someone putting a book down on a stand, and then the sound of hooves. If that wasn’t evidence that Twilight was up and about again, I didn’t know what was. 

Sure enough, the door opened, the knob surrounded by a purplish glow, and there she stood, all tiredness removed from her face. She looked a bit annoyed at first, but she brightened almost immediately upon seeing me.

“Dave! Hello again!”

“Hi, Twilight. Feeling better?”

“Completely! Zecora’s herbs really do the trick, even if they are an acquired taste.”

“Did I interrupt something?" I asked. "You looked a little out of sorts.”

“Huh? Oh! I’m sorry. I kind of get a little antsy when I’m jerked out of being ‘in the zone’. Funny," she added, reflectively, "that’s usually Rarity’s thing.”

“Oh, well, I’m sorry. If you want, I could just leave you to it-”

“No-no-no, it’s ok, you don’t have to leave!" said Twilight, hurriedly. "Was there something you needed?”

“Well, I have an appointment with Rarity at 2, and Pinkie’s going to be busy, so I thought I’d just stop over here, see you and Spike, maybe, I don't know, read for a while.”

“Oh! Well, come in, come in!” 

She stepped back inside, and I followed, ducking once again to avoid conking my head on the door frame. A very thick volume sat on a stand, while another was occupied by a scrap of parchment and an inkwell with a quill in it. The scroll had several lines written on it, but all in a language I couldn’t understand.

“Is this part of your studies?”

“Yep! I’m researching the ancient alphabet of Old Equestria. Just imagine how surprised the Princess will be when I send my next report written in the kingdom’s early letters!” 

She beamed at me with absolute shimmering-eyed excitement, a face too adorable to be witnessed by those with weak hearts.

“That would make a nice surprise,” I agreed. “So, you mind if I browse the shelves?”

“Of course not, go ahead! This is a library, after all.” 

So I started at the shelves closest to the door and began working my way along them. Every book was neatly shelved and grouped according to genre or author, wherever applicable. A good majority were the kind you’d be expected to find as part of a school’s required list of textbooks: history, astronomy, chemistry, mathematics, politics, English. Then I came to ones that were more concerned with the history and knowhow of Equestria: the history of the kingdom itself, tales of the wars against Nightmare Moon and Discord (whoever those were), the flora and fauna of the Everfree Forest, and even a book of speculation on the existence of creatures called ‘sea-ponies’. 

Then I came to the fictional literature, novels and such. Some had groaningly corny, pun-tastic names, like The Adventures of Hucklepony Finn, Frankenstallion, Lord of the Reins, just to name a few. Some had normal titles, however, and just had equine substitutions to the characters I would have been familiar with: Around the World in 80 Days, Treasure Island, Great Expectations, etc. There was also a collection of many books about the adventures of Daring Do, apparently a pegasus version of Indiana Jones, from the look of the covers.

I looked over at Twilight. She was still scribbling away at her paper, occasionally glancing at the book for reference. I figured it might be better to leave her to her work, so I headed upstairs to find Spike.

“Spike? Hey, Spike?”

“Whuh? Oh! Hi, Dave!” 

I found the little dragon seated on the floor, a claw-full of bird seed in his palm. A very small bird chick was pecking at it hungrily. Its feathers were orange, with a tiny red plume on its head, and its eyes were yellow and beady. It looked up as I entered, tilting its head quizzically.

“Is this your pet?” I asked.

“Yep!" said Spike. "This is Peewee, my pet phoenix.” 

I had been walking over to take a closer look, but stumbled back at Spike’s reply.

“A phoenix??” 

Spike seemed confused by my reaction.

“Sure. Why, is something wrong?”

“No, no. It's just, phoenixes aren’t native creatures in my world, so I never expected to see a live one. Then again, Pinkie said there are manticores and cockatrices in the Everfree Forest, so I really shouldn’t be surprised. How did you find him?”

“That’s kind of a long story,” said Spike. “Let's just say I found him as an egg and saved him from being scrambled. He's been with us ever since."

Peewee fluttered his tiny wings and cheeped happily. He certainly was an energetic little fella.

“Dave?” 

All three of us jumped. Twilight had come up so softly that I hadn’t heard her. 

“Is everything ok?” she asked.

“Yeah, of course. I just came up to see Spike, and got to meet his pet phoenix.”

"Ah, yes," said Twilight, grinning. "It's been a lot more active around here with him in the house. Owlowiscious has taken on double-duty as junior assistant and Peewee's babysitter when Spike's busy."

"But I am training him to help out, too!" said Spike. "We'll have the most efficient library in Equestria once he's old enough!"

Peewee twittered cheerfully, and Twilight giggled.

"Well, I've got some time to kill before my appointment with Rarity," I said, "so I thought maybe we could just sit down and chat, if that's all right."

“Of course!" said Twilight. "I actually just finished recording that ancient Equestrian alphabet, which is why I came up to look for you.”

“Great! Lead on, then.” 

With that, Twilight took me downstairs, leaving Spike and Peewee to themselves. With her magic, she drew up a plush-cushioned sofa, perfect for reclining on when reading deeply. I sat myself on one end, and she settled herself, pony-fashion, on the other.

"You've really got it lucky, Twi," I said, before catching myself. "Er, you don't mind me calling you that, do you?"

"Not at all!" said Twilight. "My friends do sometimes."

"All right. You've got it lucky, Twi: living in a library, surrounded by books. I'll bet you've read each one at least once."

"Oh, at least," said Twilight, unashamedly. "You wouldn't believe how many dog-ears I've accumulated. I've actually been trying to master a spell to fix that."

"Oh?"

"A bookmarking spell," Twilight explained. "When cast on a single book, if I have to set it down, it'll automatically reopen to where I left off when I pick it up again."

"Wow!" I said, impressed. "That's incredible!"

"But," Twilight warned, "you can only do it on one book at a time. Use it on more than one, and they'd all open to the same page, regardless."

"Ohh, I see," I mused. "Still, that sounds amazing, not to mention useful. I go through a lot of books, believe me, and it'd be nice not to have to find so many things to use for bookmarks."

"Tell me about it," said Twilight. "So, anything on the shelves catch your eye while you were browsing?"

“You mean besides the fact that a lot of those books have similar titles and storylines to those back in my world?” I asked.

“Do they?" asked Twilight, fascinated. "Amazing! Was there any you wanted to read in particular?"

“Well, I did always like Around the World in 80 Days. I wouldn’t mind seeing it, er, pony-fied.” 

Twilight grinned and, her horn glowing with a pinkish-purple light, summoned that very book from the shelves. The cover had the title printed in stately, ornate letters. On it was illustrated a globe and two ponies. One was a stallion with an impassive, almost bored, white-bearded face, wearing a top hat and suit. The second was a younger stallion with a flustered face, dressed like a butler, with a gold watch in his hoof. I no doubt guessed that these were the equivalents of Phileas Fogg and Passepartout. The book was placed in my hands, and I opened it up.

“Um, Twi?" I asked, tentatively.

"Mm?"

"This isn’t something I normally ask, but, would you mind if I read out loud? It's kind of a habit of mine, when I'm alone. Maybe we could read together.” 

Twilight looked at me for a moment, then smiled.

“That sounds like a fun idea, Dave. Nopony’s ever asked that before. Then again, not a lot of ponies show such a passion for reading,” she added, as an almost bitter afterthought. “I mean, I only recently got Rainbow Dash to want to read.”

“She reads?” I asked, a little perplexed.

“Shocking, isn’t it? But yes, she's very much into the Daring Do series.”

“Huh. I might have to look into that.”

“You’d love it! If it can make a reader out of a pony like Rainbow Dash, I know you’d enjoy it.”

As I got myself comfortable in my position, Twilight inched over until she was right beside me. It was kind of amusing, almost like a large dog settling down next to you to get warm. I turned to the first page.

“Chapter 1: In Which Phileas Fogg and Passepartout Agree Their Relationship, That of Master and Servant…”


***


I wasn't really keeping track of time, but it didn’t matter. I was having a heck of a time with Twilight, and I never had this much fun reading aloud before. We took turns narrating, while I did most of the dialogue. She was in stitches with some of the voices I chose for the characters, like a British monotone for Phileas Fogg, an excitable French voice for Passepartout, and a somewhat jowly Cockney voice for Inspector Fix, similar to ones I had heard from an old audio book version of the story. The story itself played out very similarly to the humanized version, only with minor appropriate changes to accommodate the equine atmosphere. Since I was terrible at female voices, I let her read out the parts spoken by Mrs. Aouda, which she did surprisingly well. 

We were about midway through when Spike came down to check on us, and he found me in the middle of reading the chapter in which Fix revealed his plan to detain Phileas Fogg, suspected of robbing the Bank of England, and Passepartout was refusing his involvement. As the Frenchman was drunk during this scene, I was slurring myself all over the place, to Twilight’s amusement.

“‘Mister Fix’, he stammered, ‘even if everything you have said is true, even if my master is the thief you are after, which I don’t believe for a moment, I have worked for him! I still work for him! I know how kind and generous he is! Betray him? Never! No, not for all the money in the world! Where I come from, that’s just not the sort of thing people go in for!’” 

I paused to take a breath, and Twilight applauded, and so did Spike, to our surprise.

“Oh! Spike!’ said Twilight. “What brings you down here?”

“Just came to see what you guys wanted for lunch. Sounds like you were having a blast down here.”

“Heh, yeah,” I said, “though I could use a break. My throat’s never had this much of a workout in a long time.”

“You were doing very well, though!" said Twilight. "You’ve got quite a talent for voices!”

“Aw, shucks, Twi, you’re embarrassing me.” 

I never did like to brag, but I did like to think I was pretty good with impressions, especially with certain accents. 

“In any case, I’ll be fine with whatever you guys want,” I added.

“Great! It’ll be ready in a jiffy!” said Spike, and he walked off into the kitchen.

“While we’re waiting, Twi, there’s something else I wanted to ask about.” I said.

“Yes?”

“You know that sit-down we talked about yesterday, with me answering questions about the human world?”

“Of course!” said Twilight, keenly.

“Well, would you object to us having a guest during it?”

“Not at all! Who is it?”

“Lyra Heartstrings.”

“Lyra?" asked Twilight, puzzled. "Why would-" She then stopped herself a look of dawning comprehension on her face. "Ohh, that’s right.”

“Yeah, her thing with humans," I said. "You knew her in Canterlot, right? Was she always like that?”

“Excitable and human-fanatical? Well, yes, as far as I know. We never really hung out much. She grew up on those kinds of stories, and now wants to prove they’re real. She’s really harmless, though.”

“Yeah, her friend Bon Bon said so yesterday," I said. "They’re roommates, aren’t they?”

“Yes, they are. They’ve been super-close ever since Lyra moved to Ponyville, and they both found they have quite a bit in common. Bon Bon likes Lyra’s lyre-playing, and Lyra loves Bon Bon’s sweets.”

“Heh, yeah, Bon Bon mentioned that, too," I chuckled. "So, you don’t object to her listening in?”

“No, of course not. It’d be nice for her to finally get the answers she’s looking for.” 

Twilight suddenly looked very thoughtful. 

“Say...I wonder...”

“What?” I asked. 

Twilight gasped happily.

“Why stop at a simple interview? After this, we could have you give a guest lecture at the schoolhouse! Miss Cheerilee would love it, I’m sure!”

“Whoa-whoa, slow down, Twi,” I began, but she didn’t slow down.

“And after that, we could even hold a seminar in Canterlot! For Princess Celestia herself! Can you imagine?” 

Her eyes were twinkling with such intense enthusiasm, but I was feeling no such thing on my part. 

Me? 

Public speeches? 

In front of a school? 

In front of an entire city? 

In front of a princess??

The last thing I saw was Twilight’s gleeful face before everything went black.

> Ponies Tell the Best Tales
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“…Gonna be all right?”

“I don’t know. He had this terrified look on his face.”

“Hey, wait! Look! He’s waking up!”

“Oh, thank goodness!”

With a groan, I opened my eyes. I was lying on the floor, and Twilight, Spike, Owlowiscious, and Peewee were all looking down at me anxiously.

“Whuh? What happened?” I muttered.

“Who.”

“Not who, what,” corrected Spike. 

“Good, you’re all right,” said Twilight, gratefully.

“Twilight? Spike? What happened?”

“You passed out,” said Spike. “Just for a couple minutes, though.”

“I did? Well, lucky it was only that long, I guess.” 

I got back to my feet. Twilight’s grateful expression melted into a contrite one, lowered ears and everything.

“Dave, I’m sorry. It was me suggesting all of that speech stuff that made you pass out, wasn’t it?”

“Well…” 

I hated seeing the hurt look on her face, but it wouldn’t do dancing around the truth. 

“I won’t lie, Twilight, it did throw me for a loop. See, I’ve never been good in front of a crowd, and being bombarded with talking before a school, not to mention the Princess, kinda spooked me."

“But you were doing so well reading.”

“That’s different," I said. "If it’s with someone I trust, like a good friend, then I’m comfortable.” 

She briefly brightened at that, meaning I considered her trustworthy. I knelt down to get closer to her eye level.

“Listen, I’m not saying your idea’s a bad one," I said. "It’d be a very good way to clear up doubts that ponies may have about humans. I think it was just springing it on me out of nowhere like that that startled me.”

“Sorry,” Twilight apologized, sounding much more like Fluttershy.

“Don’t be. If anything, your enthusiasm’s admirable.” 

She looked up at me, and at last she smiled again. 

“Thanks, Dave. If you want, we can just forget about it.”

“Forget about it? Well, let's not go that far.” 

She looked at me in surprise. 

“I mean, we could make it work," I said, reasonably. "We'd have to take it one step at a time, though. This Q&A, for example. Maybe you could turn it into something to send to Princess Celestia afterwards, like an extra credit project. Of course, I'm just spit-balling, but from there, who knows? It might springboard into stuff like you said: a lecture at the schoolhouse or in front of a crowd. It'd be nice to get ponies in the know about humans.” 

Twilight’s eyes began to sparkle again with enthusiasm. The irises, too, had expanded, until they were almost completely filling her eyes, so intense was her glee. I honestly couldn’t believe myself. I was really going along with this? Was it because it was of my own volition, or because I didn’t want to disappoint Twilight? It was possibly a combination of the two. 

Whatever the case, by the look on Twilight’s face, she thought that was a good plan. 

“Wow, Dave. I had no idea you had a head for these things.”

“I wouldn’t get used to it, Twi," I said, frankly. "This was a spur-of-the-moment thing.”

“Either way, it’s great! I think it really could work if we do it that way! And, did you really mean what you said about extra credit?”

“Well, sure," I said. "What’s a better project topic than validating something that's become murky in the details department?”

“That’s true," said Twilight. "Even Starswirl the Bearded's recorded notes on them were more speculation than anything. Oh, Dave, this could be the biggest historical impact Equestria’s ever experienced! I just…I just don’t even know what to say, but…thank you!” 

With that, she threw her forelegs around me in a tight hug, nuzzling her cheek against mine. Gratified at her happiness, I returned the embrace, though awkwardly. As I said, she wasn’t as plump as Pinkie was, but there was still a warm, huggable softness to her. I could hear Spike making a gag of disgust at the display, but I didn’t care.

“I hate to break up the hug fest,” he said, in a tone that suggested otherwise, “but I got lunch ready before you passed out, Dave.”

“Oh, did you? Thanks, Spike.” 

Twilight and I broke apart, her face still aglow with gratitude.

“Shall we?” she asked.

“We shall," I said. 

With that, the three of us went into the kitchen, while Owlowiscious and Peewee stayed in the main library area, the baby phoenix hopping and flapping his tiny wings rapidly as the owl watched patiently, like an instructor.


***
	

Lunch was a simple affair, by pony standards: daisy sandwiches. I was skeptical, as I’d never eaten real, raw flowers before, and I couldn’t honestly think of anyone in the human world who would do that in their right mind. Still, I was in Twilight’s home, and felt it would be rude to just deny her hospitality like this, so I decided to give it a chance. She actually seemed surprised when I picked one up, about to bite into it.

“Dave?”

“Yeah?”

“Are you sure you want that? I mean, I know humans can’t eat everything ponies can.”

“It's ok, Twi. I’m just going to try one, see if I like it or not. If I don’t, it’s no fault of yours.”

“If you say so,” said Twilight, uncertainly. 

I took a bite into the sandwich, half-expecting to spit it right back out. I didn't, but it wasn't exactly the tastiest thing I'd ever eaten. The flowers were thin, crisp, and lettuce-like, leaving a bland taste in my mouth. It was like chewing on a wad of paper. It was an effort to swallow, but I managed. I looked up, and noticed Twilight and Spike watching me, the latter trying not to laugh. I wiped at my mouth and saw that a couple daisy petals had stuck themselves to my lip, explaining that.

“Heh, sorry,” I said, sheepishly.

“It's all right," said Twilight, pushing a separate plate of sandwiches towards me "I had a feeling flowers wouldn't be part of a human's diet. Do you like cheese?"

"You bet I do," I said, gratefully, and took one.

"You're more used to eating meat, right?” Twilight asked.

“Well, yeah," I said, taking a bite from the sandwich. "But sometimes, it’s a matter of choice. Some people prefer meat, others adopt a more vegetarian diet, and there’s some that even go vegan.”

“Vegan?”

“Yeah, They don’t eat anything that comes from an animal. No meat, no dairy products.”

“Wow. That’s so fascinating!” 

She levitated her own sandwich in front of her and bit into it.

“You know what I find fascinating?" I asked. "How you do magic.”

“Oh?”

“We don't have anything like that back in my world. It’s all performance theatrics, smoke and mirrors, sleight of hand.”

“Kind of like Trixie?” asked Spike. 

It seemed as if Twilight didn't like the sound of the name, as she gave the baby dragon a sharp look that quieted him instantly.

“Trixie?” I asked, puzzled.

Twilight sighed to herself, as if resigned to explaining.

“She was a unicorn stage magician that came to Ponyville," she said. "She specialized in the kind of magic you're talking about. All she really did was brag about all of her achievements that she obviously never did, and challenged us to prove we were better than her.”

“Yikes," I muttered. "Sounds like a real piece of work.”

“Well, I didn’t make things any better," said Twilight. "Two young colts lured an Ursa Minor into Ponyville-"

"A what?" I asked, puzzled.

"Giant star-bear," said Spike.

"Oh," I said, kind of wishing I hadn't asked.

"I sent it back with my magic when Trixie couldn't," said Twilight. "She disappeared after being showed up like that, and we haven’t heard from her since.” She sighed. “I really hope she’s learned her lesson since then.”

A small silence followed, which was thankfully broken by Spike, clearing his throat.

“So, Dave, you were talking about unicorn magic?”

“Huh? Oh! Right. I’d seen it before, when Rarity was fixing my hair, and I remember you talking about it yesterday. Is it something all unicorns are born with?”

“Yes,” said Twilight, a little bit cheered up from her momentary melancholy. “I think there may be a few cases where unicorns aren’t as skilled with it, but it’s very rare. Baby unicorns get unexpected, uncontrollable bursts of magic, so they take a lot of care in raising, but they learn to control it once they get older. Levitation’s an innate must-have when it comes to unicorns. Beyond that, magic is generally connected to whatever their special talent is.”

"And since your talent is magic, you can do spells a lot of other ponies can't? I remember you talking about that yesterday."

"Yes," said Twilight, modestly.

“I’d love to see some of your better spells,” I said. “You said levitation’s a must-have, but what else can you do?”

“Well, I do know teleportation, as well," said Twilight.

“Teleportation,” I said, wistfully. “Man, that’d be one of my top choices for a superpower. Just being able to get where I wanted to in the blink of an eye…”

“Trust me when I say it’s not that fun if you’re a passenger,” said Spike, grimly, earning himself another filthy look from Twilight. 

“So, you said you needed to see Rarity later today?” she asked.

Spike perked up.

“Rarity? You’re seeing Rarity? Could I come with?” 

The eager way he was asking, with bright hopeful eyes, was both humorous and mildly disturbing at the same time. It was almost as if he was infatuated with her, and it was a poorly disguised infatuation at that. Then again, she was an attractive pony, and it wasn’t uncommon for little boys to grow crushes on older women, as weird as that sounds. I personally don’t recall having such an affliction.

“I doubt you’d have much fun, Spike," I said. "Rarity’s going to be taking my measurements so she can make me some new clothes.”

“I don’t mind!” Spike pressed on, in a tone bordering on desperation. “I could help! I could-” 

But a hoof to his mouth silenced what he would have done. Twilight looked at him intently.

“Spike, this is something Dave needs to do privately. All right?” 

Spike nodded sadly, and Twilight removed her hoof.

“Don’t worry," she said. "I promise the next time I go to the Boutique, I’ll take you with me.” 

The little dragon’s fallen face lifted back up again at this.

“That reminds me, Twilight,” I said, “what day do you want us to conduct the Q&A?”

“Oh! Great thinking! Let me just check my schedule.” 

She closed one eye as the other gazed intently at the ceiling, her horn glowing all the while. The glow intensified, her teeth gritted slightly from concentration, and the next moment, a heavy binder floated into the kitchen through the door. I gazed at it in stupefaction.

“Did that come from upstairs?”

“Yep!" she said, proudly.

“That’s incredible! How did you call it like that? I thought you were testing that spell when it gave you that headache.”

“This is a much tamer version of that spell," Twilight explained. "If the object I’m calling is close, and I can see where it is in my mind’s eye, then I can summon it no problem. Now let me see. Today’s Wednesday…” 

She flipped the book open, leafing through numerous filled pages. She muttered to herself as she read. 

“Hmm…Tea with Fluttershy, helping Applejack harvest…Ah! Saturday’s free! Why not then, at, say, 2?”

“That sounds perfect!” I said.

“Great! I’ll pencil you in!” 

She raised a quill with her levitation.

“I think you mean ‘quill’ me in,” I said. 

Twilight looked at me, then the quill, then rolled her eyes with a smile, as Spike snickered.


***


Lunch passed in a pleasant fashion, our conversations continuing back at the sofa in the main room. My throat being tired from reading out loud, I let Twilight talk. She had a treasure trove's worth of stories to tell, so she bade me make sure I was comfortable before proceeding. 

Twilight told me about some of the adventures she and her friends had gotten into ever since she moved to Ponyville, such as being chased by a hydra in a swamp, confusing the effects of a plant called poison joke with a curse (Spike snorted with laughter at that particular remembrance), confronting a mass invasion of parasprites, the name of which I recognized from talking with Pinkie, and rescuing Rarity from gem-hoarding troll-creatures called Diamond Dogs, among other things. From the sound of it, they’d done everything that humans would have thought only ever possible in storybooks, and even then, the storybooks I’d seen never had pranking plants, adorable locusts, or trollish canines.

What really struck me dumb, however, was to hear her mention that she and her friends were bearers of what were known as the Elements of Harmony, effectively making them Chosen Ones, as it were. Visualizing Pinkie as a savior of the country was not only a weird thought, but a pretty funny one as well. These Elements, it seemed, were artifacts embodying the strongest qualities of friendship: Honesty, Kindness, Laughter, Generosity, and Loyalty. The sixth, Magic, was born from a spark generated by the other five. 

It so happened that Twilight and her friends were chosen by fate to wield them, just as Celestia and her younger sister, Princess Luna, had before, and had proved instrumental in defeating Nightmare Moon, whom Twilight told me had actually been Luna, corrupted by jealousy and hatred, and Discord, the spirit of chaos and disharmony. Twilight had inherited Magic, Applejack Honesty, Fluttershy Kindness, Pinkie Laughter, Rarity Generosity, and Rainbow Dash Loyalty.

Well, since I bring this up, I might as well go into the adventures involving them, the retelling of which blew my mind on so many levels.

Twilight told me how she had moved to Ponyville from Canterlot on the eve of the Summer Sun Celebration, a day dedicated to Celestia’s raising the sun every day for centuries. She had intended to warn her mentor about the impending return of Nightmare Moon, but that seemed to have been ignored in favor of her overseeing preparations, much to her annoyance. In this way, she was introduced to Applejack, who was handling catering, Rainbow Dash, who was in charge of weather, Rarity, who was taking care of decorations, Fluttershy, who was providing the music, and Pinkie, who was…being Pinkie. 

It turned out her premonitions were correct: Nightmare Moon returned and Celestia vanished, with Equestria doomed to suffer eternal night. Twilight and her five companions had ventured forth to retrieve the Elements, braving several obstacles that, if anything, only further cemented their bonds. They engaged Nightmare Moon in battle, with the Elements activating from a spark of sorts, one Twilight felt when she realized the five were her friends. With them, they returned Nightmare Moon to her old self, she and Celestia were reunited, and Twilight was given the task of living in Ponyville to study the magic and power of friendship. 

The story of Discord was a lot more chilling, and it was clear it pained her to even talk about it. I told her she didn’t have to, but she said I deserved to know. Discord had reigned over an Equestria twisted by chaos and disorder, until Celestia and Luna sealed him in stone with the Elements. He had remained a statue in the Canterlot castle gardens until he unexpectedly broke loose, bringing about another storm of chaos: cotton candy clouds that rained chocolate milk, ballet-dancing buffalo, stilt-legged rabbits, and corn that turned to real popcorn only being a few of the changes. Celestia summoned the six mares to her castle, only to find that Discord had swiped the Elements and led them to believe they were hidden in the castle labyrinth. 

Upon entering, they were separated, and all but Twilight were systematically brainwashed by the manipulative trickster into becoming their total opposites: Applejack a compulsive liar, Pinkie a sour grump (something I found incredibly hard to believe and not very pleasant to visualize), Rarity a greedy hoarder, Fluttershy a mean-spirited bully, and Rainbow Dash a disloyal deserter. Though they did find the Elements, they were powerless due to being ‘Discorded’, as it were, and they broke up, Twilight’s hopes and heart shattering.

Before she could leave Ponyville, however, Celestia sent back every friendship report she had ever received, reminding Twilight not to lose hope in her friendship and fight for what she’d lost. Her spirit renewed, and realizing that this is what Discord had meant to do all along, she rounded up and restored her friends and sealed Discord away again while he was stewing in his own hubris. I couldn’t help letting out a triumphant “YES!” at the end, which drew an odd look from Twilight, but one that gave way to amusement. It was unbelievable to hear the lengths she had gone to save Equestria and her friends, who meant the world to her, after having been friendless and antisocial for so long.

“Boy, Twilight,” I said, when she’d concluded, “it sounds like you’ve been to the ends of the Earth and back in such a short time.”

“I know," said Twilight. "Feels like an eternity, but a really wonderful eternity,” she added, warmly.

“You really are a remarkable pony, Twilight Sparkle," I said, sincerely. "I can’t think of anyone who wouldn’t be lucky to have you as a friend.”

“Aw, Dave,” said Twilight. 

She leaned up and nuzzled my cheek. Thankfully, Spike had gone back upstairs with Peewee, so he wasn’t around to be disgusted at this sentimental moment. I looked up at the clock, and felt a jolt in my stomach when I saw how much time had flown. The hours seemed to have slipped easily away, and it was getting on 2. I hated to break this up, but I was on a schedule.

“This has been really pleasant, Twi,” I said, “but I really shouldn’t keep Rarity waiting. I’ll definitely see you Saturday, though.”

“All right," said Twilight. "I’m so glad we could have some time together, especially after yesterday." 

Both of us got up and headed for the door. 

“You’re welcome here anytime. Our door, and our bookshelves, are always open.”

“I’ll gladly keep that in mind,” I said. “See ya, Spike!” I called up the stairs. 

There was a scrabbling of claws, and the little dragon appeared at the top of the stairs.

“Bye, Dave! See you next time!” he called back, waving. 

I ducked under the door, and Twilight stopped there. As I walked on, I turned to see her still standing in the doorway. When I caught her eye, she smiled and waved a foreleg, a gesture I returned in like kind. 

There was no point in denying it: these colorful equines had definitely grown on me. They were so engaging, so friendly, so full of intrigue and mystery. They spoke of fantastical events and creatures as if they were discussing the weather. It was weird, but at the same time, enjoyable. I could stand waiting a bit for a solution to go home, as long as I was in the midst of such pleasant company. For now, though, I directed my steps towards the Carousel Boutique, quickening my pace, as it would never do to keep a lady waiting.

> Rarity Works Her Magic
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

By the time I reached Carousel Boutique, it was five past 2, and there was a sign on the door, written in fancy cursive: 

‘Out. Will Return Shortly. -Rarity’, 

I felt a bit awkward at having arrived when she would be out, especially when we'd agreed on the time already, but maybe she had something come up unexpectedly. I'd just have to wait it out. I took a seat on the doorstep and looked about at the ponies passing by. One or two were ones that had attended the party, so they said hello in passing. 

It had never occurred to me before, but now it struck me as something odd that most of the ponies in Ponyville seemed to be female. In fact, the only males I knew about or had met were Big Macintosh, Mr. Cake, Spike, and Twilight’s brother, Shining Armor, plus some I had glimpsed at the party and during the morning rush. It made me wonder just how many pony couples there were, with such an uneven gender distribution, unless I just hadn’t been observant enough. 

I was about to lose myself in over-thinking it when I heard a familiar voice call out my name.

“Dave! Oh my stars, I’m so sorry! I'd forgotten to warn you!” 

I looked up the street, and saw Rarity hurrying up, with none other than Fluttershy coming up beside her. There was something different about the two of them, however. There was an indescribable aura about them, a kind of soft glow to their coats. Even their manes had an added sheen to them, which only complimented Fluttershy’s naturally cute face. Her wings, too, seemed softer and fluffier than before, like a swan’s wings.

“Hi, Rarity. Hello, Fluttershy.”

“Hello, Dave,” said the gentle pegasus.

“It’s good to see you up and about. I was worried you’d be dead-tired today after last night.”

“Oh, I was still a little drowsy when I woke up,” she admitted, “but a trip to the spa always fixes everything.”

“Oh! So that’s it.”

“What is?” asked Rarity.

“I thought there was something different about the two of you," I said.

The two mares giggled.

“How sweet of you to notice,” said Rarity. “Fluttershy and I are spa buddies. It’s our weekly escape from the worries of a work-a-day life.”

“That sounds interesting," I said. "Truth be told, I’ve never been to a spa before.” 

Rarity looked at me in astonishment.

“What? Never? Oh, my-my-my, I can only imagine the knots and aches you must have!” 

She struck a dramatic pose as she said this, one foreleg across her forehead, in a kind of ‘woe is me’ way, but she broke out of it immediately with a determined look in her sapphire eyes. 

“But fear not, darling. One of these days, I shall bring you with me!”

“Oh, Rarity, that’s not necessary-” 

But she swiftly held up a hoof to shut me up.

“No, no, I insist. It wouldn’t be right to visit Ponyville and not experience the wonders of its local spa. The steam room, the hot tub, the mud baths,” she added with a dreamy zeal. 

Fluttershy just smiled at her fashionista friend’s antics, then turned to me.

“You really should, Dave. It does wonders for someone who’s had a hard week. Sometimes, if we’ve had an especially stressful day, we schedule our spa visits for an earlier day.”

“I suppose it couldn’t hurt,” I said.

Lord knows how much good it would do me. I was the sort of person who sweated over everything that might turn out an unpleasant consequence, and it wasn’t doing me any good, particularly because it led to a lot of stress stomachaches. A trip to the spa might just be the ticket.

“Well, I should be heading home now,” said Fluttershy. “Rarity said you two are going to be busy, and I'd hate to intrude. Bye!”

“Bye, Fluttershy.”

“See you later, dear!” 

With a flap of her wings, Fluttershy took off, flying just level with the rooftops, as if she was reluctant to go any higher. With the two of us by ourselves, Rarity turned her full attention on me.

“Dave, I do apologize. I'd forgotten today was spa day, and I hadn't had time to warn you when I remembered.”

“It’s all right, Rarity. I wasn’t waiting long. I’d actually spent the morning shopping with Pinkie, then I spent a few hours at the library with Twilight.”

“Oh! That sounds like an interesting morning.”

“It was, believe me. Funny thing, though. Spike was rather insistent on coming with, even if it wouldn't have been very fun for him.” 

Rarity gave a small sigh, with a kind of wearied amusement on her face. 

“Yes, I’d imagine he would, the poor little scamp. I’m afraid he’s rather fixated with me.”

“You mean, you know?” I asked.

“Darling, you said yourself he was insistent. Not to sound rude, but he hides his feelings just about as well as Pinkie Pie hides an impending party with a straight face.”

“Well, she fooled me when she threw mine,” I said, reasonably.

“Oh, but listen to me,” said Rarity, putting a hoof to her forehead, “going on while we’re standing out here. Shall we go inside?”

“After you, milady,” I said, bowing. 

She smiled and, using her magic, unlocked the front door.

The first thing that greeted us was a grumpy ‘meow’. I looked down and saw a white Persian cat, a lock of her fur on top decorated with a bow. She had a bored look on her face.

“Hello, Opal!” cooed Rarity. “Mama’s home!”

She reached down and ruffled the cat’s fur, but she still looked displeased.

“Dave, this is my little Opalescence, Opal for short.”

“Well, hey, kitty,” I said, leaning down and reaching out my hand to pet her.

She gave a low growl, and I retracted my hand swiftly. Rarity gave the cat a look of disapproval, but Opal just turned and sauntered away.

“I do apologize, Dave, but she’s rather difficult to manage. I swear, she seems to only like Fluttershy.”

“That’s a shame,” I said. "Then again, considering all the animal friends she has, that's not surprising."

“Don’t worry, though. She’s fine if you just give her space. Now, follow me, if you please.”

Rarity led me over to what looked like a separate dressing room, the walls covered in full-length mirrors, with a podium in the middle. Instinctively, I stepped onto the podium.

“I take it humans are more prudish about modesty?” Rarity inquired.

“Yes,” I said, feeling my cheeks go red. “It’s fine for you ponies, but where I come from, nudity's not something to be thought of in a social setting.”

“Not to worry. We at Carousel Boutique strive to uphold complete customer satisfaction.”

Her horn lit up once again, and a long measuring tape appeared from a nearby drawer. She also levitated a pair of red-framed cat’s-eye glasses, fitting them onto her snout. I never thought of her as the glasses type, but I thought it was a very nice touch.

“Now, if you would, Dave, stand straight and still unless I ask otherwise.”

“You got it.”

I stood as straight and stiff as I could, arms at my side, and she ran her measuring tape up and down my sides, around my waist, my neck, my forehead, etc. From time to time, she’d ask me to hold out one arm, or extend one leg. All the while, she jotted the results down on a notepad. Honestly, with the levitating measuring tape and it measuring places I wouldn’t have imagined necessary for a fitting, it reminded me strongly of Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone, when Harry was being fitted for his wand at Ollivander’s. All the while, Rarity chatted casually, as if the entire process was second-nature to her, just like during my haircut.

“As casual as this ensemble is, I must admit there’s a certain charm to it. It tells me you’re laid-back, not one who pursues reckless action.”

“Amen to that,” I said, chuckling. “I’ve never been one for the outdoors. It kinda shows on me, doesn’t it?”

“Whatever do you mean?”

“Well, I’m not in the best of shape, compared to other humans,” I said, putting one hand to my stomach.

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous,” said Rarity, kindly. “You look fine.”

“I’m not calling myself fat, just out of shape.”

“And I say you’re being too harsh on yourself. Don’t dwell on it, dear. I know the feeling myself, unfortunately.”

“You?" I asked, incredulously. "Problems with your own weight? Never!”

“We all have our off days, I’m afraid," said Rarity, wistfully. "As much as I try to resist, the sweets at Sugarcube Corner are nearly impossible to pass up. On those days, I feel so, ugh, balloonish afterwards, so it’s straight to the treadmill. I envy Applejack sometimes; she has one of the biggest appetites of any pony I know, yet she works off what she eats in the fields kicking trees.”

“And the stuff her family makes is some of the best apple stuff I’ve ever tasted,” I said.

“Oh, I know! They don’t only bake with apples, mind you, but when they do, it’s their best baking.”

“Guess it comes from living on an apple farm.”

“Quite. But now, back on the subject of your garments, do all humans dress like this?”

“Well, that depends. Some like to dress more professionally, some casually. It all depends on the time of day or the occasion.”

“Ah, of course. There's something we have in common, then. Ponies may not need to wear clothes all the time, but if the occasion calls for it, I see no reason not to wear your best." 

She finished jotting down what she had at the moment, then gave a slight chuckle.

"You know, it’s rather funny, but this is reminding me very much of when Fluttershy had her brief modeling career.”

“Fluttershy had a modeling career?” I asked, surprised. 

That meek pegasus, who shrieked at the first sight of me, had been on a stage in front of thousands? That just sounded impossible. Then again, I’d only just met her. Maybe there was more to her that I hadn’t seen yet.

Seeing the questioning look on Rarity’s face, I added,

“Er, not that I think she wouldn’t make for a good model. She is kind of pretty.”

(For a pony, anyway.)

“Yes, and that’s exactly why she was chosen to be a star rather than me,” said Rarity, with a hint of resignation to her voice. “Of course, she never wanted it, but I didn’t know it at the time, and…”

Rarity paused, looking like something was paining her. Her measuring tape wavered where it was.

“And?” I asked.

“I...was jealous,” Rarity admitted, sorrowfully.

“Oh…”

“Oh, I hated myself for it,” Rarity went on. “How could I have ever held anything against Fluttershy? She’s so sweet, so innocent, and I treated her as if she was rubbing her success in my face. I was a horrible friend…”

She hung her head, letting the tape fall where it was. It hurt me to see such a beautiful face look so sad. Moreover, I hated seeing any face sad. I stepped down and knelt beside her. She wasn’t crying, but there was a wavering light in her eyes.

“Rarity, I don’t think you’re a bad friend,” I said. “If you were, you wouldn’t have even recognized that you didn’t like how you were feeling at the time. I haven’t known you or your friends for very long yet, but I can already tell, from our meeting yesterday, that you’re a kind, big-hearted mare with a lot to give.”

It was strange how these encouraging words just seemed to flow of their own accord from me. I never used to speak like this. How was it so easy? Was there something in their air affecting my mentality?

Rarity looked at me, and a small, sweet smile reappeared on her muzzle.

“Thank you, Dave,” she said, gratefully. “I’ve more or less let the matter pass, but the memory does resurface sometimes. I’m lucky to have such wonderful friends by my side, and I can safely say I now consider you one of them.”

“Really?” I asked. “Just from cutting my hair?”

“It’s in your eyes, darling,” said Rarity. “The most expressive part of any individual is their eyes. From what I’ve gathered, you’re a kind, thoughtful young man, and quite the gentleman." 

She leaned in and nuzzled my cheek, and I felt my face grow hot. It was just a display of affectionate gratitude, but I still felt embarrassed.

"You even know to comfort a lady in a time of distress,” she said.

“Ah, well,” I muttered, modestly.

“Now, come along, dear. Let’s get back to business.”

“Er, yeah,” I said.

Stiffly, I got up and returned to the podium, while Rarity levitated her measuring tape and began her measurements anew.


***


“Well, Dave, I’ve gotten your measurements down," Rarity said, at last, "and I believe this might be more doable than I’d imagined.”

“Well, that’s good to hear,” I said, stepping down.

“Tell me, what are your clothes made of?”

“Well, let me see," I said, thinking. "T-Shirts are usually cotton and polyester. Jeans are denim, and my socks and underpants are cotton as well.”

“Ah, of course. Easy and comfortable.” 

In spite of myself, I felt a bit baffled how she didn’t redden at the thought of human undergarments. When I put it to her, she said, in an amused tone,

“Oh, darling, please. I'm a fashionista. You'll be hard-pressed to find an article of clothing I haven't manufactured, and that includes undergarments. You have nothing to feel embarrassed about.”

“Well, if you’re sure.”

“Of course. Why stop at T-shirts and jeans, anyway?" she asked, an enthusiastic light in her eyes. "I could make you an entire seasonal ensemble: shorts, sweaters, jackets, polo shirts, the possibilities are endless!”

“Whoa-whoa, take it easy, Rarity,” I said, not wanting a repeat of what happened at Twilight’s. “That’s all well and good, but how am I going to-”

“Dave.”

Rarity said this so firmly, with such a stern, no-nonsense look on her face, that I clammed up immediately.

“I know exactly what you’re about to ask, but please put it out of your mind. I'm doing this for you, dear. I want to help make you as comfortable in Equestria as you can be. It's an ambitious project, yes, but one I'm quite eager to undertake. Plus, given that your casual attire is very close to what ponies wear on occasion, it's far from the hardest thing I've ever done. And besides that, I refuse to put you in an awkward monetary situation, when you've only been in Ponyville for one day.” 

At first, I was too stunned to speak. I didn’t know what to say. She had gently, yet obstinately, put her hoof down on the matter and denied any chance of argument. Twilight’s stories floated back into my mind. Particularly, she had mentioned how, in the quest to find the Elements, they had come across a flamboyant sea serpent bewailing the ruination of his moustache. Rarity, in the name of fabulosity, selflessly sacrificed her own beautiful tail to repair the serpent’s facial hair.

“Rarity," I said, finally, "Twilight told me you represent the Element of Generosity, and it’s easy to see why. Thank you. I still wish there was a way to repay you.”

“Simply knowing that I’ve done you a proper service in easing your stay is all the thanks I need, darling,” said Rarity, in a motherly tone. “That reminds me. I know this might seem a bit…awkward, but would you mind terribly if I washed your clothes for you? I imagine they’re rather worn after spending a day and a half in the same set.” 

I felt my face go hot at the thought of being nude, with nothing else to put on. Rarity already seemed to guess my feelings, however, as her horn flared up once again. A large bathrobe, colored a velvet purple with white trimming, floated over to me.

“You can put this on while we wait for your clothes to finish.”

“Great!” I said, relieved. “It’ll still feel awkward with no underpants, but it’s better than nothing at all. Thanks, Rarity.”

“You’re welcome, dear. Just drop your clothes outside the laundry room when you’ve finished changing.” 

As she said this, she led me outside and indicated a hallway at the back of the boutique, which branched off into a kitchen, a laundry room, a bathroom, and a staircase. Nodding in comprehension, I took the robe with me into the bathroom to change, a mixed feeling of awkwardness and gratitude boiling in my head.


***


If the thought of being undressed was disquieting, getting undressed in the bathroom was another matter. Opal, Rarity’s grumpy cat, was reclining on the bathroom rug, and looked distrustfully at me as I came in. I wasn’t about to let her stare at me while I stripped down.

“Do you mind?" I asked, dryly. 

Opal turned her head snootily, so thankfully, she didn’t watch me get unchanged and put on the bathrobe. Luckily, it came nearly to my ankles, and when belted, offered little chance of flaring out, so I was covered and protected. I deposited my clothing as Rarity directed, and she came trotting out to collect them.

“I do hope that robe is suitable, dear,” she said as she levitated my garments. "It was a spare I had sitting around. Freshly-cleaned, of course."

“It does suit me," I said, "and it's very comfortable.”

“Good to hear. Now, this shouldn’t take more than a simple cycle, so I’ll be right back. I’ve closed the boutique temporarily, so you can enjoy a bit of privacy.” 

“Great, thanks.” 

I sat down in a waiting chair as Rarity went into the laundry room to start the washing machine. Not only was Rarity generous, she was considerate as well. She, like Pinkie and Twilight, was a friend worth having.

As I sat and waited, looking about at some of the clothing designs, Opal came padding out, shooting me another stink-eyed look, apparently liking me less in the bathrobe.

“If you don’t like it, don’t look," I said, pointedly. "It’s as simple as that,” 

The cat turned up her nose and walked off into another room. How the heck did Rarity put up with such an uptight animal?

Suddenly, from the laundry room, I could hear Rarity humming to herself. I felt as if I knew the song, and was only confirmed as she began to sing, in a wistful, soul-filled dulcet voice.

“Dreams to dream

In the dark of the night

When the world goes wrong

I can still make it right

I can see

So far in my dreams

I'll follow my dreams

Until they come true...”

I did know that song! It was in one of my favorite movies when I was a kid, and it still brought me good nostalgic feelings to hear it today. Now, normally, I wasn’t the type to want to sing out loud or in public, if there was the possibility of me being heard, but at the same time, I’d often get so caught up in a song I was listening to that I had an urge to sing with it. 

That urge was overpowering me at that very moment, and I decided to give Rarity a little surprise by turning her solo into a duet. Not caring how my voice might conflict with hers, I provided the next verse.

“Come with me

You will see what I mean

There's a world inside

No one else ever sees

You will go

So far in my dreams

Somewhere in my dreams

Your dreams will come true...”

Rarity poked her head out from the laundry room, obviously startled by my knowledge of the particular song. I’d gotten to my feet, as if I were singing on stage. I had no idea why I did, but I guess it made me feel more at ease when I sang, instead of just sitting like a lump while doing it. I could see Rarity’s face change from surprise to admiration. She moved into the next verse, and I moved in to accompany until we were singing together.

“There is a star"

"Waiting to guide us”

“Shining inside us

When we close our eyes”

At the end of the last line, we both vocally ‘belted’, as it were, prolonging the note longer than I’d thought my lungs capable. At the same time, overcome by the mood of the music, Rarity rose to her hind legs, and I took her fore hooves in my hands, leading her as if we were performing a ballroom dance, the two of us in harmony.

“Don't let go

If you stay close to me

In my dreams tonight

You will see what I see

Dreams to dream

As near as can be

Inside you and me

They always come true...”

I’ll admit, I don’t know why I pulled that off. I would normally never do so something so silly, so sporadic, so…spontaneous back at home. Maybe that was it. Maybe the fact that I was in this new world, where what would be weird back home wasn’t here, gave me the confidence, the drive to be so goofy and lighthearted. 

I’d dipped Rarity back at the end of the song, and she was gazing up at me in amusement.

“You know that song?” she asked.

“It was part of my childhood. How do you know it?”

“I’d heard it when I was a filly, and I sometimes sing it to Sweetie Belle when she has trouble sleeping. I had no idea you had such a voice.”

“I don’t like to brag about it. I’m not the type who leads people into songs.”

“You’d be surprised how often that happens around here, actually,” said Rarity, in a frank tone. 

Both of us started laughing, but stopped dead when a young, high-pitched voice spoke up from nowhere, in a confused ‘what the heck is this’ tone.

“Rarity? What are you doing?”
> Meet the Crusaders
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Three fillies were standing in the boutique doorway, obviously ignorant of the ’Closed’ sign on it, and obviously much confused by what must have looked like Hugh Heffner tango dancing with a unicorn. 

One I recognized as Apple Bloom, the others being a unicorn and pegasus, which must have meant they were the friends she had mentioned. One was undoubtedly Sweetie Belle, Rarity’s little sister, easily recognizable due to the picture I’d seen yesterday. I hadn’t seen the color of her eyes in the picture, since they were closed in her energetic smile, but now I saw they were a light green. The pegasus I’d never seen before. She had an orange coat, a very messy purple mane and tail, and eyes the same color.

“Oh! Sweetie Belle!" said Rarity, her cheeks going pink. "Home so soon?”

“It’s 3, Rarity. That’s when I usually get home,” said Sweetie Belle, flatly. 

Rarity chuckled awkwardly. 

“Yes, of course it is. Seems we lost track of time.” 

I straightened up so Rarity could get back on all four hooves. Apple Bloom, however, finally seemed to recognize me, despite my new attire.

“That you, Mr. Dave?”

“Hey, Apple Bloom.” 

Sweetie Belle and the pegasus looked at their Earth pony pal.

“You mean he’s the one you were talking about?” asked the pegasus, in a rough, boyish voice not quite unlike Rainbow Dash’s.

“Yep!” said Apple Bloom

“He’s even taller than I thought,” said Sweetie Belle.

“He’s a giant!” said the pegasus, amazed. 

I suppose I must’ve been a giant compared to these kids.

“Oh, where are my manners?” said Rarity. “Dave, you seem to have met Apple Bloom, so this is my little sister Sweetie Belle.”

“Hi!” chirped the younger unicorn.

“She’s staying with me while our parents are out of town,” she explained to me. “And this is her other friend, Scootaloo.”

“Hey there!” said the pegasus.

She gave her wings an energetic buzz. Oddly, they didn’t give her any lift, which made me wonder if she was incapable of flying.

“Pleased to meet you," I said. "If you were wondering what was going on, Rarity and I were kinda, er, losing ourselves in a song.” 

I scratched the back of my head, sheepishly.

“Oh, is that all?” asked Apple Bloom, comprehending. 

(I should hope that was all!)

“You two looked really goofy dancing around like that!” said Scootaloo.

The three fillies giggled. Rarity’s cheeks flushed again.

“Oh! You saw it all, did you?” she asked, with an embarrassed smile. 

Apparently, nopony was aware she sang or danced while she worked. Honestly, I couldn’t see what the big deal was. Wasn't that what the phrase 'whistle while you work' was for?

“I didn’t know you could dance, Rarity!” said Sweetie Belle, admiringly. “Can you teach me someday?” 

Rarity’s eyes lit up with delight at such a request.

“Oh, Sweetie Belle, of course I can! There’s really nothing to it at all! I’m afraid I’m a bit tied up right now, though. You see, poor Dave was thrust into Equestria with only one suit of clothes to call his own.”

“Why couldn’t he just go naked like everypony else?” asked Scootaloo, bluntly. 

Now Pinkie asking that was bad enough, but to hear a little kid ask that…!

“It…doesn’t quite work that way,” I said, trying to keep my composure. “Let’s just say humans are more comfortable clothed, and leave it at that.”

“But why?” asked Apple Bloom. 

All three of them were looking up at me inquisitively. I smacked my forehead in frustration. How was I supposed to explain something so delicate to these fillies? I looked to Rarity for assistance, but she looked as helpless as I did. Then, an idea hit me.

“Apple Bloom, does your sister always wear her hat?” I asked.

“Well, yeah.”

“And do you always wear that bow?”

“‘Course.”

“Do you ever feel…strange when you’re not wearing it?” 

Apple Bloom seemed to consider this for a moment.

“…Actually, Ah do. When Ah’m not wearin’ it, it feels like Ah should be. It’s like, Ah know it ain’t there, but it ought to be.”

“You could say that bow’s a part of you, then, right?”

“Ah suppose so.”

“Has Applejack ever had a similar experience?”

“…Yeah!” she said, realization dawning on her. “She told me she felt awkward at the royal weddin’, not bein’ able to wear her hat with her bridesmaid’s dress, so she snuck it on when no one was lookin’.” 

Rarity gave a small huff of indignation at this.

“Suppose it was inevitable,” I heard her mutter.

“Well, see, kids, it’s kind of the same way,” I told the fillies. “Humans feel, well, incomplete unless they’re clothed. I can’t really put it into clearer words than that. It’s just always been a part of our nature.”

“Ohh,” said the three, in comprehending unison.

“Well, girls,” Rarity said\, “as I was saying, I’m going to be making Dave some new clothing on the side, and I’m washing his current attire at the moment, so why don’t you three run off and play?”

“Ok!” they said, once again in unison, and zipped off to another part of the boutique.

“But be sure you do your homework first!” Rarity called after them. 

Whether or not they heard, I couldn’t tell. I breathed a sigh of relief.

“Man, that was close,” I said.

“You’re telling me,” said Rarity. “Honestly, I almost had a heart attack when they barged in. And then Scootaloo…Tsk! I swear, Pinkie must be getting to them.” 

I couldn’t help chuckling.

“Ah well. They’re just kids. Besides, you really are light on your hooves.” 

Rarity’s huffiness was a lost cause. She gradually smiled.

“Thank you, dear. You’re not too bad yourself.” she said, giving me a teasing nudge with her elbow.

“I wouldn’t get used to it. I’m terrible when I actually think I’m dancing.” 

Rarity giggled, and at the same time, a loud ‘ding’ came from the laundry room.

“Oh! There’s the washer. Your clothes should be nice and dry soon.”

“Great, thanks!” 

Rarity trotted off to take care of the laundry load, and I sat myself back down, but not before re-closing the door that the girls had so carelessly left open, praying that nopony else had seen what had happened. I’d had enough awkward surprises for one day.


***


As I sat and waited, I could hear the girls upstairs, chatting loudly, unpacking their schoolbags. It seemed they had heard Rarity’s insistence on completing their homework after all. As time went on, though, their chatter died down, as they seemed to be getting to work. 

It didn’t last long, however, as there came a dull, incessant tapping, which persisted for some time. There was a ‘thump’, and an ‘Ow!’. Then their voices started up again, arguing by the sound of it. I felt like I should go upstairs to break it up, but it wouldn’t feel appropriate going up in a bathrobe.

After what felt like an eternity of listening to the fillies’ squabbling, there was another ‘ding’, and Rarity came out, carrying my clothes neatly folded in her magic.

“Here you are, Dave, good as new!” 

I gratefully stood up and accepted them.

“Thanks, Rarity! You’re a marvel!”

“Oh, it was nothing, darling. I should have your first set ready by tomorrow, so you can interchange between wearing both until the next are ready. I do hope you’ll understand, as I’ve got a few other clients waiting for requests as well.”

“That works perfectly, actually. I still can’t thank you enough for this.”

“Oh, pish-posh,” she said, modestly, with a dismissive wave of her hoof, “it’s my pleasure. Now, I’m going to be rather busy, so I’ll bid you adieu right here. Although, if you do wish to lend me a hoof, do you think you could try and calm the girls down?” 

She lifted her gaze to the ceiling. 

“It’s hard to concentrate when they’re being…rambunctious.”

“I can give it a shot, sure. Thanks again, Rarity.” 

I knelt down and pulled her into a one-armed hug. She smiled and nuzzled her cheek against mine.

“You’re very welcome, dear. And remember, the Boutique’s always open if you want to come visit. Ta!” 

When we broke apart, she trotted off into her workroom, closing the door gently behind her. Still privately vowing to return the favor to the generous fashionista, I went into the bathroom to change. Thankfully, Opal was nowhere to be seen, and I was re-clothed in a jiffy. The clothes were nice and warm from having just come out of the dryer, and after having spent close to an hour in nothing but a bathrobe, it was refreshing. I folded the robe up as best I could and set it on the sink’s counter before exiting the bathroom and heading upstairs.


***
	

The arguing was loudest from behind a closed door that read ‘Guest Room’. My guess was that was where Sweetie Belle slept when she stayed over. I opened it softly to see the three friends in each others’ faces, squabbling with as much energy and incomprehension as a cage full of parakeets in a pet store. Their saddle bags sat on the floor, among homework papers and writing utensils. I waded in between them and separated them as best I could, though they still went at it until I raised my voice.

“Hold it, hold it, HOLD IT!” 

At last they quieted down and gazed up at me, though Scootaloo coughed once or twice. 

“Now, what’s all the ruckus?” I asked.

“We were just tryin’ to get our homework done, like Rarity said,” said Apple Bloom.

“So we could plan some more Crusading afterwards,” said Scootaloo.

“But we kept getting stuck on some of the problems,” said Sweetie Belle. “And then somepony wouldn’t stop tapping her pencil!” 

She glared at Scootaloo, who stuck out her tongue defiantly. I sighed, rubbing my temples with one hand.

“Let me get this straight: you spent all this time arguing because Scootaloo was tapping her pencil?” 

It sounded too ridiculous to believe.

“She does it all the time, though!” interjected Apple Bloom. “It’s annoyin’!”

“Oh, I do not do it 'all the time',” retorted Scootaloo.

“Do too!” snapped the little farm filly, going snout-to-snout with the obnoxious pegasus. “If ya actually bothered t' pay attention for once-”

Scootaloo scowled. 

“Do you think Rainbow Dash got where she is by being a little egghead in school? I don’t think so!”

“Who are you callin’ an egghead?!”

“You!”

“Ah am not!”

“Are too!”

“Am not!”

“Are too!”

“GIRLS!” 

The fillies jumped, and even I was startled. I never meant to thunder like that. A few moments of awkward silence passed, then I cleared my throat and tried again.

“Girls,” I said, softer, “I can see that tempers are high, but there's no need for pointless arguments. What are they going to lead to?”

“Arguin’ cutie marks?” asked Apple Bloom, almost hopefully. 

Sweetie Belle sighed in frustration and clapped a hoof to her forehead.

“I told you, there’s no such thing as an arguing cutie mark. What would it even look like?” 

For a moment, I briefly visualized an image of a pair of cartoon lips with visible teeth on a pony’s flank, yelling with sound lines jutting from them.

“How does this sound?” I asked, and they turned their attention back to me. “Since I don’t really have anything else planned, I’ll give you a hand with your homework.” 

This idea delighted the three, as their faces lit up with adorably huge smiles, and they bounced around me like sheep hopping a fence, shouting “Yes!” and “Thank you!” over and over as they did so. I sat down on the floor and pulled their papers over, and they in turn crowded around me to look. When they couldn’t see from their positions, they resorted to crawling into my lap, like a trio of curious kittens. 

From what I could see, they were working on matching words that were synonyms, but a lot of them seemed more advanced than I would have expected for whatever grade level they were in. At least, the ones in the right-hand column were. It seemed the assignment was to find the simpler-named synonym of the more advanced word and match the two together. All three of them, collectively, had only managed one or two connections.

“‘Obsequious’…‘Effervescent’…‘Gratuitous’?" I read off, skeptically. "Did these words even exist when I was your age? Does your teacher always give you stuff like this?”

“Not all the time,” said Sweetie Belle. “She just likes to surprise us sometimes.”

“Some surprise,” I muttered, flatly. “What’s she like?”

“Oh, Miss Cheerilee's the best, Mr. Dave,” said Apple Bloom. “She’s the nicest, kindest teacher we’ve ever had!”

“She’s the only teacher we’ve ever had,” said Scootaloo.

“Nuh-uh. Remember that one substitute teacher? Mr. Slatehoof?”

“Oh yeah. That guy was so boring. I zonked out before he even introduced himself.”

“It’s never hardfor you to ‘zonk out’, Scootaloo,” said Sweetie Belle. 

The miniature pegasus gave the little unicorn a pointed look.

“Well, I’m glad you kids have such a swell teacher," I said. "Do you get on well?”

"Pretty well," said Apple Bloom, and Sweetie Belle nodded.

“I do ok, I guess,” said Scootaloo, shrugging.

“Straight B-’s are your idea of ok?” asked Sweetie Belle, raising an eyebrow. 

Scootaloo’s orange cheeks flushed.

“Hey, now, settle down,” I said, warningly. “I never liked talking about grades, either, to be honest. What about beyond grade-wise? Are any of your other friends interested in this Cutie Mark Crusader stuff?”

“Not really,” said Apple Bloom, shaking her head sadly.

“It's just the three of us,” said Sweetie Belle, glumly.

“Oh?” I asked. “No one else in your class-”

“Is a ‘blank flank’?” asked Scootaloo, with a bitter tone to the name. 

A twinge hit my gut at the name, though I wasn’t sure why.

“Who would call you such a thing?” I asked.

“Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon,” said Sweetie Belle. “They're in our grade. Just because they're rich, they think they can make the rest of us feel lousy and rub it in our faces. They were really set on teasing Apple Bloom at Tiara’s cute-ceanera, all because she didn’t have her cutie mark.”

“No!” I said, aghast.

I looked down at the little farm filly, ignoring the groan-inducing nature of the word 'cute-cenera'. She simply nodded. 

“That’s horrible,” I breathed.

“It’s all right, Mr. Dave,” she said, with a small smile. “It’s cuz of Sweetie Belle and Scoot standin' up for me that we started the Crusaders.”

“Yeah, we totally showed those two snobs!” said Scootaloo, and Sweetie Belle grinned.

“Wow,” was all I could say for the moment. 

It seemed like, every minute, these ponies had a new way of making me do a mental double-take. The bonds between the closest of friends in this world were tightened by a history of strong mutuality and closeness, bonds which time could never break. It was believable and even inspiring for Pinkie and her friends, having been through so much together, but these three kids, these little fillies…To be such strong friends at such a young age was incredible.

“Hey, Mr. Dave? You ok?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Huh? What? Oh! Sorry, I guess I kinda zoned out."

I cleared my throat awkwardly.

"Now then, your homework. Well, what we need, first of all, is a thesaurus.” 

I was met by a trio of blank stares. 

“A thesaurus?" I prompted. "Kinda like a dictionary? Tells you what words are like other words?”

“Ohh! I know what one of those is!” said Sweetie Belle. “See? I told you it wasn’t a dinosaur!” she told Scootaloo. 

The pegasus just rolled her eyes as Sweetie Belle went to fetch the book.

“Hey, Scootaloo, mind if I ask you something?”

“Yeah?”

“I understand Apple Bloom’s Applejack’s sister, and Sweetie Belle’s Rarity’s sister, so do you have some connection to Rainbow Dash? You remind me a lot of her.” 

Scootaloo beamed, her eyes sparkling. 

“Do I really? I wish I was her sister, but I’m not.” 

Her smile faded briefly.

"Then who are you related to?" I asked. "Anypony I might know?"

"No, I don't think so," she said, shortly.

Something in her tone made me feel like I should back off.

"Well, all right. I was just curious. I'm not one to pry if you don't want me to."

She said nothing, so I tried a different route.

“Do you hang around with Rainbow Dash?”

That brought the smile back on her face.

“Not as much as I’d like, but she lets me watch her practice her flying sometimes. She’s just so awesome! She’s even got her own fan club!”

“That you’re the president of,” said Apple Bloom. 

Scootaloo ignored her.

“She does the most amazing tricks! Lots of spins and dives and loop-de-loops! Sometimes I watch them with Fluttershy!”

“Oh? Fluttershy watches her practice stunts?” I asked.

“Yeah. She’s her cheering section.” 

As endearing as it sounded that the timid pegasus was dedicated to cheering her friend on, I couldn’t exactly visualize her dancing about with pompoms or shouting into a bullhorn.

“Is Rainbow nice to you?” I asked.

I at least hoped the sporty mare cared that she had such a devoted fan who wanted nothing more than to worship the ground she tread, or at least the sky she zipped across.

“She’s usually busy with her stunts,” said Scootaloo, “but she’s been pretty nice to me. She even calls me ‘Scoots’ or ‘Squirt’. I’m on a nickname basis with her!” 

She leaned back against my stomach, gazing up at me with the biggest smile her little face could manage. Being given such personal nicknames by the Rainbow Dash, at least to her, was apparently equal to every day being her birthday. I grinned and ruffled her mane.

“Sounds like you’ve got it good, kid. Maybe soon you’ll be soaring the skies with her.”

“I hope so, if these stupid wings would grow out.” 

She glanced at her tiny wings, flapping them for good measure. 

“I swear, every pegasus in our class can fly except me.”

“Oh. I’m sorry, Scoot.”

“But it’s all right. As long as I can still pull off tricks on my scooter, I can be just as daring as Rainbow Dash!”

“You ride a scooter?”

“Fastest in Ponyville,” she said, casually rubbing a hoof on her chest.

“It’s true,” said Apple Bloom. “When a pony takes 20 minutes to get from one place to another. Scootaloo can do it in 5.”

“Wow! That’s pretty impressive!” I said.

At that moment, Sweetie Belle returned, lugging an old book on her back.

“Found it!” she strained.

“Aw, Sweetie Belle, I’d have gotten it for you," I said. "That looks like it weighs a ton.”

“It’s ok, I’ve got it.” 

She wobbled over and plopped it down in front of us.

“Ok, kids, gather round," I said. "It’s time for Vocabulary 101.” 

Sweetie Belle retook her place on my lap as I opened the book. 

“Ok, so on the left column, we have ‘unnecessary’. Let’s look that up."

I flipped through the pages until I found what I was looking for.

"Aha! ‘Unnecessary: excessive, expendable, gratuitous’.”

“Ohh!” chorused the three, comprehending.

They took their pencils and connected 'unnecessary' with 'gratuitous' on their homework papers.

“See how easy this is?" I asked. "Now, let’s take a look at the next one. ‘Cheerful’, there’s a good one. Now, going back to what we did before…”


***


It wasn’t exactly doing it for them, as I was technically showing them how to do it themselves. As soon as I’d done one or two words, they picked up on it and leafed through the thesaurus themselves to finish. Soon, they had their homework complete, and still had enough time to plan more Cutie Mark Crusading before dinner. Discussing these involved talking about some of the things they'd already tried before, which were not only numerous, but…Well, honestly, I could list a whole string of adjectives to describe them, but I think it’d be safe to just settle on ‘dangerous’, ‘reckless’, and ‘weird’. Why did so many of them end up with them being covered in tree sap?

In any case, they were already drawing up plans, and were deep in discussion, when I looked out the window. The sun was beginning to sink low toward the horizon. It actually made me wonder what Celestia had to do to move the sun. Was it by mental willpower, or did she have to actually steer it herself? Whatever the case, the day was drawing to a close, and I figured I should probably head back to Sugarcube Corner and see how Pinkie was holding up. It would be dinnertime soon anyway. 

I was about to stand up when something tapped me on the leg. I turned around to find all three Crusaders looking up at me, grinning broadly.

“Dave, after much discussion, we’ve come to a major decision,” said Scootaloo.

“Oh?"

“We’ve decided,” said Apple Bloom, “to name you an honorary Cutie Mark Crusader!” 

Sweetie Belle, in turn, held up what looked like a neckerchief in her teeth. It was red, decorated with a blue shield, with a symbol of a yellow pony rearing up on its hind legs in the center. I raised an eyebrow.

“You’re serious about this?” I asked.

“Yefph!” said Sweetie Belle. Then, realizing she still had the cloth in her mouth, spit it out. “I mean, yep!”

"It's supposed to be a cape," said Scootaloo, somewhat sheepishly, "but I guess you can wear it like a bandana, since you're so big."

Wow. They actually wanted me to be part of their group? That was...really touching.

“Have you ever had honorary members before?” I asked.

“Nope! You’re the first!” said Apple Bloom. “It’s something we just came up with!”

“And now you gotta take the Cutie Mark Crusaders Oath!” said Scootaloo.

“There’s an oath?”

“Yep! Hold up one hand, and put the other to your forehead like a salute.” 

I did just as I was bid, and the three, sitting on their haunches in front of me, did likewise. 

“Repeat after me," said Scootaloo. "I solemnly swear-”

“I solemnly swear-”

“To fight the fight-”

“To fight the fight-”

“Until I make my cutie mark appear.” 

That part caught me a little off guard. No human, I’m sure, could get a cutie mark the way an Equestrian pony could, so technically, I was a ‘blank flank’ myself. In hindsight, I suppose that worked out well enough in theory. Still, I decided to make due with what I was dealt.

“Until I make my cutie mark appear.”

“Cross my heart-”

“Cross my heart-”

“Hope to fly-”

“Hope to fly-”

“Stick a cupcake in my eye!” said all three in unison.

“Stick a cupcake in my eye.” 

It seemed they too had been inspired by the infamous Pinkie Promise.

“YAY!” they all cheered.

“Welcome aboard, honorary member Dave!” said Sweetie Belle, handing me my new neckerchief. “How does it feel to be a Crusader?”

As I tied it around my neck, an idea struck me.

“Well, gee, girls, I don’t know. I mean, I just realized something,” I said, in a worried tone. 

The three looked confused.

“What?” asked Scootaloo.

“It’s something I’d been meaning to tell you, but I didn’t know how to say it…I’m an undercover agent.” 

The three gasped.

“From who?” asked Apple Bloom.

“You really wanna know?”

“Yes!” 

They leaned in.

“You really REALLY wanna know?”

“Yes!” 

They leaned in closer.

“Well, don’t let this get around,” I whispered confidentially, “but I’m an agent of…the TICKLE MONSTER!” 

Quick as lightning, I dove my hands at them and began tickling away at their bellies. The three fillies, caught completely off guard, squealed with laughter as they rolled onto their backs, at my tickling mercy.

“S-sto-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-op!!” squealed Apple Bloom. “Ah-Ah’m ticklish!”

“Me too-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!!” cried Sweetie Belle. 

Scootaloo was laughing too hard to respond.

“Oh, it’s gonna take more than that to make me stop,” I said, playfully. 

Unfortunately, I didn’t notice the conspiring look between the three fillies in their bout of giggles. All of a sudden, faster than I could process, they had leaped onto me, and now I was at the receiving end of a three-way tickle attack. Now, I was exceptionally ticklish, even by most human standards, so in the wake of this sudden change of tactics, I became the victim to their brilliant little ploy. 

I don’t know how long we kept it up, or how Rarity withstood it when we were making more noise than before. All I knew was that, in that space of time, for the first time in years, the kid within me was having fun once again, without a care in the world, and the ones to show me how to do it were three little fillies still questing for their destinies.

> A Chat with Applejack
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

With the evening approaching, I figured it was due time for Apple Bloom and Scootaloo to start heading home. The three friends were reluctant to separate, of course, but they seemed to know it was inevitable, so they said their goodbyes, promised to meet up again for their next planning session, and then Apple Bloom and Scootaloo packed up their bags.

“If you want,” I said, “I could walk you two home. I mean, I 'm sure you’d be safe yourselves, but it’d be nice to just take a bit of a walk-around on the side, before heading back to Pinkie’s.” 

For some odd reason, Scootaloo suddenly looked very uncertain.

“Uh, that’s ok, Dave,” she said. “I’ll be fine. I can take care of myself.”

“Are you sure? It’d be no bother-”

“I said I’ll be fine!” she replied, snappishly.

I recoiled slightly at her harsh tone, but the look on her face told me she regretted it. 

“Sorry. I just…I’d rather go home by myself.”

Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom looked at each other, a significant look passing between them.

“Well, all right, if you're sure,” I said.

“Bye.” 

She gathered up her bag and hurried out the bedroom door.

“What was that all about?” I asked.

“We don’t know,” said Apple Bloom. “She always acts like that whenever we bring up her home.”

“She never wants us to walk with her to her house,” said Sweetie Belle. “We’ve never even seen where she lives.” 

I couldn’t help scratching my chin in contemplation.

“That’s odd. You don’t think she's ashamed of her home, do you?”

“Ah don't think so,” said Apple Bloom. “She’s usually the most gung-ho out of all of us most of the time.”

“Well, if she’s going to be evasive about it, I don't think it's my business to pry. I didn't really want to needle her like that." 

"She'll be ok," said Sweetie Belle. "She never stays mad for long."

"Well, in any case, do you mind me walking you home, Apple Bloom?” I asked.

“Course not!” said Apple Bloom.

“All right. Good night, Sweetie Belle.”

“Good night, Mr. Dave!” 

Apple Bloom and I left the room and exited the Boutique, just in time to see Scootaloo disappear over the horizon, probably on her scooter.

"I hope she really is ok," I said.

"Ah'm sure she is," said Apple Bloom. "If somethin' was wrong, Ah don't think she'd hide it from her friends."

There was sense in that. 

"You're right, Apple Bloom," I said, brightening up a little. "Now, what do you say I give you a piggyback ride home?” 

She gave me a quizzical expression.

“A what? But you ain’t got any hogs with ya.”

“You’ve never…?" I began, before it hit me. "Oh, I guess not, since you’re all quadrupeds. Well, it’s when you carry a kid on your shoulders, back in my world.”

“Really? That sounds fun!”

“Think so? Well, you’re in for a treat, then, my little pony. Upsie-daisy!” 

I picked her up from under her forelegs and scooped her off the ground, making her giggle. I planted her right behind my head, so her little forelegs could settle on top and her back legs settled on my shoulders. 

“Wow! The view’s amazin’ up here!” she said. 

Suddenly, she wobbled and nearly lost her balance, but I held her steady.

“Why don’t you let me carry that bag for you too? It’s kind of upsetting your balance.”

“Ok! Thanks!” 

She un-strapped her bag and handed it to me, whereupon I slung it over one shoulder. Surprisingly, the weight left little impact on me, probably because I’d been used to lugging excruciatingly heavy backpacks around in my days at high school and college. Now Apple Bloom was more at her ease, and I looked up to see her gazing about from her new vantage point. She even waved to one or two ponies, who merely smiled at her cute antics.

“You secure up there, Apple Bloom?”

“Yes, sir!”

“Ok, then. Hold on tight.” 

Making sure to keep a firm but gentle grip on her hind hooves, I started off, with her laughing from time to time as I sometimes sped up to surprise her, and all the time she looked around as if seeing Ponyville for the first time. I didn’t doubt this was due to her never seeing the city from 6 feet up in the air, riding on the shoulders of a human, but then again, who ever would have? It was really ironic, when I stopped to think about it: a man being the beast of burden for an equine. At the moment, however, I didn’t really care. Apple Bloom was having fun, so I could stand being a pack mule for a little while.


***


The sky was turning yellowish-orange by the time Apple Bloom and I arrived at Sweet Apple Acres. As soon I stepped through the gate, I heard a dull, reverberating thud, followed by a cascade of more thuds. Looking in the direction of the noise, I saw that Applejack was bucking more apples. It was good to see that she was up and about, especially after what had happened last night.

“Hi, Applejack!” crowed Apple Bloom.

Applejack cringed from the volume and turned to face us, but when she saw who it was, she smiled genially

“Hey there, Apple Bloom. Howdy, Dave.”

“Hey, Applejack," I said. "Feeling ok?”

“Sure am! A hard day’s apple bucking always gets the tired kinks out, ’specially after a Pinkie Pie party.” 

She then gazed curiously at the yellow filly sitting on my shoulders. 

“Whatcha doin’ on Dave’s head like a perchin’ bird, Apple Bloom? You hurt your leg or somethin’?”

“It’s called a piggyback ride, Applejack!" said Apple Bloom. "Mr. Dave says it’s what humans do for their foals for fun!”

I chuckled and looked at the elder Apple, who was smiling at her sister’s enthusiasm.

“I hope I didn’t bring her home too late," I said.

“Nah, you’re fine. It’s ‘round the usual time she gets home after Crusadin', anyway. Did you get your homework done, Apple Bloom?”

“Yep! Mr. Dave even helped me!”

“Did he now?” asked Applejack, pleasantly surprised.

“Well,” I said, modestly, “all I really did was give her a few examples and let her go from there.”

“Still, that was mighty kind of ya, Dave. Thank you.”

“Yeah! Thanks!” said Apple Bloom.

I picked her off my shoulders and held her in front to look her in the face, almost as if I were holding a kitten the same way.

“You’re very welcome, Apple Bloom. I’m just glad I was able to help you and your friends out.”

“Do ya think we’ll be able to play again like that soon? That was lots of fun.”

“Of course. I am an honorary Cutie Mark Crusader, after all.”

“That’s right! You are, and Crusaders stick together no matter what!”

With that, she threw her forelegs around my neck in a big hug. Smiling warmly, I patted her back and set her down, returning her bag at the same time. She re-strapped it on and, with one last eager grin in my direction, galloped off past Applejack toward the farmhouse. The sturdy Earth pony had watched all of it with a very sisterly smile on her face.

“You’re real good with kids, Dave.”

“Am I? I hadn’t noticed.”

Applejack chuckled. 

“Why are you so modest? It ain't often that she gets her homework done so soon. She’d always have something she needs me or Big Mac to help with.”

“Big Macintosh helps with her homework?” I asked.

“Yeah, especially when it’s got to do with fancy mathematics.” 

She said this adjectival phrase with something like dismissive annoyance, as if it wasn’t her cup of tea. 

“Sometimes, I can’t understand what Miss Cheerilee’s thinkin’, givin’ her students work like that.”

“Funny, I never imagined Big Mac as much of a…genius,” I said. 

Applejack chuckled again.

“Aw, that’s just his way. He don’t say much, but he’s got a real good head on his shoulders. The farm probably wouldn’t do half as well without his brains or his muscle.”

“Brain and brawn. A dying combination these days.”

“Boy, you said it. So, what did Apple Bloom mean by ‘play again’?”

“Oh, that? Well, we just had a bit of a tickle fight after I was ‘sworn in’. I was just goofing around.”

“Aww, well that’s sweet of ya. Y’all got any siblings of yer own? Seems like yer a natural at playin’ around.”

At the word ‘siblings’, my cheeriness faded a little. It was yet another reminder of what I’d left behind in coming here to Equestria.

“Sugar? Did I say somethin’ wrong?” Applejack asked.

“No, Applejack, it’s ok,” I said, finally. “It’s just...yes, I do have a sibling. An older sister.”

“Oh! What’s she like?’

“She’s...Well, see, that’s the thing. When you’re asking a younger sibling to describe their older one, are you always gonna expect unbiased answers?”

Applejack raised an eyebrow.

“Not that Apple Bloom ever said anything bad about you!” I added, hastily. “Nor do I even think there’s anything bad about you.”

But Applejack just smiled.

“Oh, don’t get your hair in a tangle. Ah never suspected that. Just tell me honestly what you think of her.”

“Honestly?" I repeated, with a wry smile. "Funny you should say that, Applejack: Twilight told me all about the whole Elements of Harmony thing.”

“Did she, now? Well, shucks, stuff like that only comes around once in a blue moon. Sometimes Ah plum forget Ah’m some kind of Equestrian heroine.”

“But that’s what I like," I said. "Heroes who don’t let their fame go to their heads. Heroes that stay humble, who don’t care if a problem is big or small.”

“That’s mighty sweet of ya to think so, hun, but Ah think we’re gettin’ a little off-topic.”

“Oh! Right, sorry," I said. "Well, my sister’s kind of my polar opposite, you might say. I prefer to be by myself, while she enjoys a larger crowd. She’s more into sports, I’m more into reading or video games. We had the usual brother-sister arguments that come with growing up together. I’m sure you know how it goes.”

“Ah sure do," said Applejack, nodding. "Ah told ya about the mealtime battles Big Mac and I would have, but sometimes we’d get on each other’s nerves just cuz we were bored.”

“Oh?”

“It’d start off small, like pokin’ each other, or pullin’ faces. Big Mac used to tease me by saying I had a stallion’s appetite as a filly, call me Applefat. I’d give him a good hoof in the chest for it, but Ah knew he wasn’t bein’ mean about it. Ah mean, hey, I do like to eat.”

My eyes roved over Applejack’s figure. As I had noted before, she was a little bulkier than her friends, with a bit of a belly and somewhat thicker legs. However, I wanted to be safe in assuming that it was more muscle than fat.

“So, did those teasings ever go beyond that?” I asked.

“Yeah, we’d rassle if we were really gettin’ on each other’s nerves. Big Mac would hush up for a week if Ah won. No boy likes admitting they were beaten by a girl.”

“Even these days, I have to agree," I said, chuckling. "My sister and I never went that far, but we’d bicker endlessly. Nowadays, I wonder if, after all, it wasn't all just my fault.”

“Whaddya mean?” asked Applejack, cocking her head to the side.

There was no going back now. I’d stepped into the territory of no return. With a heavy sigh, I said,

“I was a weird kid, Applejack. I used to let what I saw on television and in movies fill my brain, and make me act accordingly, saying whatever weird thing came to mind. I guess you could say I was a media junkie, and had no control over it. Some days, I wonder what people back then would think of me now: that kid who said weird stuff out of turn and context, who cried easily, who exploded at the littlest things. Would they even understand that I never meant to make them uncomfortable?”

I sat myself down on the grass, staring somberly at the horizon. Even to this day, memories like that couldn’t escape me. They would float into my head, unbidden, uncalled for: images of the people I used to know, who felt happy to know me, only to be weirded out by my oddball behavior and sporadic temper. I hadn’t known what was wrong with me until I was older, but even knowing the cause didn’t change the guilt I felt at making all of those people so uncomfortable around me. They didn’t deserve that.

I felt something on my back, and turned to see that Applejack had seated herself beside me, placing a hoof on my back. Her green eyes were full of understanding and sympathy.

“Ah’ve only known you a day, sugarcube,” she said, “but even then, Ah feel like Ah know what you are: a boy who’s got a good heart, who hates seein’ anyone around him sad, and wants to help in any way he can. You don’t gotta keep beatin’ yerself up like this. Ah may not know everythin’ about you, but Ah’ve got a feelin’ you ain’t half as bad as yer makin’ yerself sound.”

The feeling of melancholy that had settled over me was ebbing away. It was like Applejack’s kind, honest words were driving away the fog that was clouding my heart and brain. What she said hadn’t exactly moved me to tears, but it still warmed me up considerably.

“Thanks, Applejack. That really means a lot to me,” I said.

Applejack smiled and nuzzled my cheek warmly.

“Anytime, sugarcube.”

“Applejack!” came Granny Smith’s creaky voice from the direction of the farm. “Dinner’s almost ready!”

“Comin’, Granny!” Applejack called back. “Ah’d better get goin’, Dave, but thanks again fer keepin’ Apple Bloom company.”

“And thank you for cheering me up,” I said.

“T’weren’t nothin’,” said Applejack, kindly. “Just don’t be a stranger, y’hear? Yer practically family now.”

“I’ll try not to be,” I said, feeling another wave of warmth at being called ‘family’. “Good night, Applejack.”

“G’night, Dave.”

With that, Applejack got up and trotted off toward the barn. I got to my feet, watching her go, and then turned and wended my own way home.


***


“Davie!”

“Hey, Pink-WHOA!”

As soon as I entered Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie had spotted me and tackled me like a dog greeting its master, knocking me against the wall. Thankfully, she didn’t kiss me in the same doggish fashion, but she was acting as if I’d been away for weeks.

“Do you greet everyone this way?” I asked.

“Only the ones I really missed! I would’ve given one to Twilight when she had her headache yesterday, but I thought that’d just make it worse, so I toned it down for her. Actually, the same thing happened with Fluttershy two weeks ago. She caught a cold and couldn’t leave the house for days. I was so, so sad for her, and when she was all better, I was so happy I gave her the biggest Pinkie hug I could manage, and you know what she said?” 

Here she put on an impressively close impression of Fluttershy’s mild voice, 

“‘Um, Pinkie Pie, I appreciate hugs just like everypony else, but since I just got finished being sick, a simple nuzzle will do next time. If that’s ok, I mean.’” 

Pinkie giggled. 

“She’s so silly, isn’t she?”

“Uh, right,” I said, trying my darnedest to wrap my head around the stream of anecdotal nonsense she had just laid before me. “Pinkie, I appreciate the fact that you’re happy to see me, but I was only away for one day.”

“I know, silly billy, but I was so worried for you! I didn’t know what you were going to do without me to help you! And Gummy! Don’t get me started on how anxious Gummy was for you!” 

Now, the thought of that derp-eyed little alligator expressing any facial emotions beyond blank indifference was laughable, but I said nothing about that, just to humor Pinkie.

“I’m not a baby, Pinkie, I’m a grown man. I know how to handle things myself.” 

I didn’t mean to sound so annoyed when I said it, but it was a little grating to be treated like this. That is, ignoring my indecisiveness when Pinkie left me that morning. 

“What I meant was," I said, "you don’t have to worry. I was completely fine today.”

“Aw, I knew you would be. I was just playing with you. So, how was your day? WAIT!” 

She put a hoof to my lips. 

“Don’t tell me yet! Wait until dinner! We still have some customers to get to before we close.”

“Whatever you say, Pinkie,” I replied, muffled because she still hadn’t removed her hoof. 

When she finally did, she got off of me, allowing me to stand up, and I went to sit at a table as she bounced away toward the service counter, where a blue unicorn with a mane striped with white and darker blue was patiently waiting. Reminded me of toothpaste.


***


During that night's dinner, consisting of the remaining wheat balls Pinkie had made from last night with corn cakes on the side (not altogether a bad meal), I told her about my day’s adventures. Contrary to what one might have guessed about Pinkie at first glance, namely that she was completely spacey and silly, she was actually a very good listener, staring wide-eyed in between bites as I narrated. She laughed uproariously when I imitated the voices I’d used for when I read to Twilight, when I told her about how I fainted, and about spontaneously singing and dancing with Rarity. She ‘aww’-ed when I described winning Twilight’s admiration by agreeing to eventually go beyond just the interview, as well as my time spent with the Crusaders. 

Pinkie said my day sounded ‘way more jam-tasticaly fun-packed’ than hers, though hers was nothing to complain about, as she did have several pleasant encounters with some of her friends around town. One of these had actually caught her by surprise, as it’d come out of nowhere. Apparently, a few months ago, a donkey named Cranky had moved in to Ponyville, but had sourly rejected all of Pinkie’s attempts at forging a friendship, simply wishing to be alone. Things only got worse when she not only wrecked his toupee by accident, but also unintentionally ruined his book of precious memories. She had tried desperately to patch things up with him, and finally came to a spellbinding inspiration: she knew another donkey named Matilda, who had a book similar to Cranky’s, and wouldn’t you know it, she turned out to be his old lover, whom he had spent years searching Equestria for, when she’d been living all that time in the town he’d chosen as his site of retirement. For going above and beyond trying to make Cranky happy, he accepted her apology and named her a friend, much to her explosive joy. 

In any case, that day, the donkey couple had actually come to Sugarcube Corner that day as customers, when Cranky had never done so before. From what I gathered, the two were both doing very well, and had even hinted at getting married some time in the near future, much to Pinkie’s delight. Fortunately, they had (politely) asked her to hold off on planning a pre-wedding party until things were affirmative. Of course, my pastel-pink pony pal was only too happy to oblige.

Dinner passed pleasantly, and then Pinkie dropped the bomb that she had planned a super dessert for after.	

“Is it leftovers of the party refreshments?” I asked, not really being serious. 

Pinkie giggle-snorted.

“No, silly! It’s something I worked on in between customer orders! Wait right here!” 

She zipped off into the kitchen, and in a few moments, returned with two big slices of chocolate cake. Even as it approached, I knew without a doubt that it was a genuine chocolate ganache, the sort of cake that’s so full of chocolate, it should be called something hilariously deadly, like ‘Chocolardiac Arrest’ or “Chocozuma’s Revenge’.

“Wow! Pinkie, how long did it take to make this?” I asked, as she set the plates down.

“About 6 hours. I thought you’d like something special after being out and about all day, so I started as soon as I got back. Mr. and Mrs. Cake were totally on board with it! They even supervised when I was too busy to check on it!”

“Well, that’s great.” 

I dug my fork in and took a bite. It was unbelievable. It was if I’d gotten it straight from a corner bakery. Oh, wait, this was a bakery. Stupid me. Anyway, it was pure chocolate decadence, on par with Bon Bon’s sweets from the party.

“Pinkie, this is delicious. Sometimes, it’s so easy to take for granted what the people who make these kinds of things have to go through to make them, but since I’m sitting right across from the chef herself, I can honestly say I appreciate every minute of effort you put into this masterpiece of deliciousness.” 

Pinkie smiled wide and warm.

“Thanks, Davie. I’m so glad you like it.”

“The only thing is, with cake like this, it’ll be impossible to eat more than one slice.”

“Tell me about it. Good thing I made a whole cake! We’ll have enough for days!” 

I laughed.

“That’s the spirit!” 

It’s kind of weird to say it, but after such a hectic, busy, and weird day, just that moment there, sitting in the empty bakery with Pinkie, just chatting and enjoying homemade cake, having a good old time reflecting on what we’d done that day, was the best part of it. I guess it’s true what they say: it’s the simple things in life that are the most extraordinary.
> Ironmane
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I awoke with a start, breathing heavily. I couldn’t see what time it was, but knew it must be late. Pinkie was snoring fit to awaken the buried, and Gummy was sound asleep in his little basket. I ran a hand across my face, trying to collect my scattered thoughts and remember the dream that had awakened me. 

I had been standing in a blank, empty void, shrouded in mist. The surface below me was white, but lined, almost like a grid. To my left, however, there was a flat brown space, like an expanse of land with nothing on it, but there was an oddly-shaped white expanse between it and the white. As I regarded it, an odd voice I didn’t recognize spoke through the silent air, saying something about the ‘missing page’. A missing page? What did that mean?…

And then, suddenly, the brown area had begun to rise up like a wave, looming over me, and even as I yelled out in my dream, it overcame me with a snap loud and heavy, and that was what had awakened me.

I pressed my fingers to my temples, trying to make sense of it all. What happened? What had I been standing on? What had crushed me? What was this ‘missing page’ nonsense?…

After thinking about it in silence for a little more, I came to a reasonable hypothesis. With the way that brown expanse had smothered me, turning over the way it had done, it reminded me of a book closing, crushing me like an insect within its binding. But then, if it had been a book, what was the misshapen white spot between that end and what I had been standing on? It was almost like a page had been ripped out…

Why did that sound familiar?…

…My journal!

I reached over to the nightstand to pick up my glasses, then picked up the little green notebook. In the dim moonlight, I flicked it open to look at the torn edge. Was my dream trying to tell me that there was something important about that page? Someone, or something, had torn that page away, but why? Was it because there was something on it that shouldn't be read? Or was there a more innocuous reason for its absence? 

How could I even find out? That page could be anywhere, for all I knew. Then again, if someone had discovered it, if it had really been something important, wouldn’t it have raised attention by now? Perhaps, after all, it wasn't anything worth worrying about at the moment.

Feeling slightly calmer, I set the book back down and checked my watch. 2 AM. Inwardly cursing my subconscious for always waiting until an ungodly hour to pull this kind of stunt, I took off my glasses and went back to sleep.


***


“You ok, Davie? You don’t look so good.”

I must not have, considering how early I’d been forced to wake up due to that dream. I was sitting across from Pinkie, as usual, at breakfast, with a plate of strawberry-topped waffles for each of us, and she was looking at me with concern.

“I’m fine, Pinkie. I just had a bad dream, that’s all.”

“Aw, that’s too bad. I wish you could have been in my dream. I was whooping it up with General McMallow!” 

I blinked.

“General…McMallow?”

“Yeah! I fought alongside him in the battle of Mt. Rocky Road, against the evil Pecanites, while we bravely charged forth with our Marshmallownians across the chocolaty slopes! It was a grueling and delicious battle, and a hard-earned victory, too!” 

She licked her lips with the memory of such a tasty dream. I just shook my head and went back to my waffles.

Suddenly, there was a rapid, impatient knock at the door. Pinkie sprang to her hooves, and the Cakes looked up from their own breakfast.

“Who is it?” she called.

“Open up, if you please!” came a stiff, male voice.

“Sorry, we’re not open yet. Come back in a half hour!”

“In the name of Her Highness, I ask you to open up!” came the voice again. 

Mr. and Mrs. Cake, upon hearing this, gasped, upsetting their coffee mugs, and rushed to the door to open it. 

A pair of white pegasi, stoic by countenance and clad in gold armor, stood in the door, flanking another pony in the middle. This one was a brown unicorn with a long, iron-gray mane and a long, thin beard dangling from his chin. He had a stiff, no-nonsense expression on his face, and was dressed in a black cloak clasped at the chest with a brooch of royal appearance.

"Good morning," said the unicorn, in a clipped tone. "I am Minister Ironmane, Princess Celestia's Minister of Foreign Affairs."

“To what do we owe the honor of your company?” asked Mr. Cake, bowing.

“It has come to the attention of the royal court,” said Ironmane, “that a human has made an appearance in Equestria for the first time in many years, and that it is here in Ponyville. I have therefore come here to investigate the matter myself, on her orders, naturally. Upon inquiry by the local populace, we have been told that the human in question is sequestered in this very establishment. I wish to see it before my own eyes before I pass judgment.” 

At last, his eyes fell upon me, sitting at the table looking dumbfounded at the scene unfolding. 

"So," he said, solemnly, "the stories were true. Stand up so I may see you better, human. Come now, don't dawdle."

I felt inclined to refuse, as he was speaking to me as though he thought I was a dumb animal trained for that command, but I did as I was bid. Ironmane strode over and looked me from top to bottom. Though his face was like a mask of professional stoicism, there was a coldness in his eyes as they roved over me, and a pull at his thin lips that looked like they were inches away from a sneer of contempt. Also, there was an odd greenish glow surrounding his horn, as if he were sorely tempted to cast a spell upon me at the slightest provocation. Why he would react this way, I had no idea, but I figured this was not someone to mess with.

“Is there something I can help you with, sir?” I asked, as politely as I could. 

A small “hmph” before he spoke gave me the impression that he wasn’t expecting such a polite (or even articulate) response.

“As a matter of fact, there is, human," he said, coldly. "Would you allow me to ask you a few questions? Simply a formality, you understand.” 

Before I could respond, he immediately shot a series of questions at me. 

“Who are you? What are you? Where do you come from? To what purpose do you intend to stay?” 

He rattled these off very specifically and sharply, as if intending me not to miss a single point on either of them. 

“Can you handle answering that, human?”

“I’ll answer as best I can," I said, flummoxed, "but first, would you mind tuning down your horn? It’s kind of worrying me.”

“Hmm?”

He looked up at his faintly glowing horn, and in an instant, the glow vanished. He cleared his throat. 

“Excuse me. I’ve had far too many encounters with unruly creatures in the span of my employ. You can never be too careful, you know.” 

What, did he think I had a grenade in my pocket?

“Well, first off,” I said, still trying to stay polite, “my name is Dave.”

“Dave? Rather common name. What nationality would that happen to be?”

“Nationality? Er, what are my options?”

“Are you trying to be smart with me, human?” Ironmane asked, sternly.

“No, sir. I just don’t go into that sort of thing.”

“Hrmph," he grunted. "I see. Let’s move on, then.”

“I’m from Earth-”

“Earth? Are you quite sure?” asked Ironmane, raising an eyebrow. “From what news has been delivered to Canterlot, you apparently fell from the sky like a bird with a wounded wing. How can you possibly be from our planet if you just appeared in that fashion?” 

I was beginning to feel nettled. I felt as if he were a prosecuting attorney trying to catch me off my guard.

“Well, I didn’t say I was from this Earth, sir.”

“This Earth?” he asked, his voice rising angrily. “I warned you about trying to be smart with me. What other Earths are there but this? Are you implying that you are an extra-terrestrial from another planet similarly named?” 

I really didn’t like the way this guy was grilling me, and Pinkie and the Cakes were watching helplessly as well.

“I didn’t say that, sir. Although, saying what I think I mean might just make things even more awkward.”

“Can’t give a proper account for yourself, can you?” asked Ironmane, almost exactly as the mayor had asked me when I first arrived. “Very interesting…”

“As for my intention of staying, it’s only until I can find a means of getting home again.”

“Is that so? Well, for all of our sakes, let us hope that that conveyance is procured without delay. I say for all of our sakes because I have no doubt this situation is hard on you as well, having to live among civilized equines rather than your own kind.” 

This unicorn was really starting to rub me the wrong way. He was speaking as if I was of a species entirely inferior to all ponies, if not simply himself. From my stay thus far, I’d assumed Equestrian ponies to be good-hearted and kind-natured, as a lot of the Ponyville ponies were, but this guy...It was all I could to not snap back at him with a snide retort.

“And just what do you know about humans, sir?” I asked, attempting to be casual. 

The cold gleam seemed to intensify in Ironmane’s eyes, and the brief glimmer reappeared in his horn, just to vanish once again. He didn’t answer, but just stared at me long and hard, and I stared back, not daring to take my eyes away. At last, he cleared his throat.

“Well, then. I shall report back to Her Majesty on what I have learned from our brief little ‘interview’.”

“That I’m an extra-terrestrial who can’t say where he’s from and is living against his will in an unfamiliar society?” I asked, unable to stop myself.

Ironmane’s eyes narrowed.

“You have a sense of humor, I see. Do not get too comfortable with the idea that you’re completely off the hook, however. The eyes of Canterlot will be open to any ‘funny business’ you may attempt. Depend upon it.” 

With that, he turned sharply round and strode out of Sugarcube Corner, with the guards behind him.

“Well, I never,” breathed Mrs. Cake.

“What a meanie-pants!” said Pinkie, angrily. “Picking on poor Davie like that!” 

“I’m all right, Pinkie,” I said. “I just never expected to meet a pony so…unpleasant.”

“To think we’d have such an abrupt visit from one of the Princess’s dignitaries,” said Mr. Cake. “Thank goodness it was before we opened.”

“Yeah. Can you imagine what a scene it’d be for all of Ponyville to see that guy chewing me out?” I asked.

“Now, Dave,” said Mrs. Cake, gently scolding, “while I can’t approve of his attitude towards you, he is the Princess’s Minister of Foreign Affairs, so he was only doing his job.”

“I should hope that’s all it was,” I muttered to myself, but no one seemed to hear me.

“Well, sugarplum,” said Mr. Cake to his wife, “we might as well get ready for the morning rush.”

“Oh, that’s right!” said Mrs. Cake. “With that Ironmane popping in, I nearly forgot!” 

The two disappeared into the kitchen, but not before Mr. Cake returned to clean up their spilled drinks.

“Come on, Davie, let’s go take a walk," said Pinkie. "The fresh air might do you good after your rough night sleeping.”

“Yeah. I probably should. Thanks, Pinkie.” 

With that, the two of us left Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie going at a brisk trot, me lagging behind some paces, my head full of thoughts. Now I had two things to occupy them: the missing journal page, and that unpleasant unicorn, Ironmane. What was his problem with me? Why did he act like I was some kind of delinquent? Had he had a personal grievance against humans in the past? He'd have to be a lot older than he looked for that to be possible.

Still, maybe I was thinking about it too deeply. Maybe that was just his way of doing his job. After all, I had no idea of knowing whether or not he always acted like that on business. Nevertheless, it was a bit unpleasant, yet not wholly unrealistic, to know that not every pony was so willing to be friends with me. To be honest, I never expected to get such a warm reception in the first place. But who was I to look a gift horse in the mouth? No pun intended. 

In any case, that missing journal page was beginning to bug me more than ever, but what could I do? As far as I knew, nopony had found anything that would have most likely caused a public outcry if it was anything disastrous. I'd just have to keep half an eye out for anything that looked like it might have come from my notebook, but not get too obsessed about it.

On top of that, I figured I should at least earn my keep if I was going to stay at someone else’s expense. Perhaps the ponies had little jobs I could do around town to help them out, and I could even earn bits in return. That way, I wouldn’t be such a freeloader for Pinkie and the Cakes, despite their protestations to the contrary. 

All of this really was food for thought, and it kept me so absorbed that I never noticed that Pinkie was far ahead, calling for me to hurry up, so I shelved my deeper thoughts and quickened my pace to stay in time with my little friend.

> Derpy Hooves
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

As soon as I caught up with Pinkie, I could hear her humming to herself, though sometimes she would pause, look like she was considering something, then either hum the part she was at again, or continue on a new line if she was satisfied.

“Are you making your own song?” I asked.

“Mm-hmm!” she said, with a grin.

“You seem to have a real passion for songs,” I said. “I mean, that welcome wagon thing at the party was proof enough.”

“Sure! I like to have a song ready for anything!” 

“Anything?”

“Anything! From not being afraid of the dark to baking cupcakes!”

“Really?”

“Really-really!”

Now that was what I called crazy-prepared.

As we were walking and talking, we didn’t even notice that the morning breakfast rush had passed us by long ago. What caught our attention, however, was a morose sighing. 

We looked up to see Derpy, a hefty mailbag strapped over her shoulder, and a very gloomy look on her wonky-eyed face. Even when expressing a different emotion, her eyes were a little odd to look at, at least when they were off on their own.

“Derpy?” asked Pinkie, concerned.

“Oh. Hey, guys,” she said.

“What’s wrong, Derpy?” I asked.

“Oh, it’s nothing new for me,” she said, landing in front of us. “I dropped Dinky off at school and went to pick up today’s mail, but I must have a hole in my bag, cuz I’ve been dropping letters all over the place.” 

She waved her hoof to indicate the street behind her, and Pinkie and I saw a long trail of letters strewn along it, like confetti thrown at a party. I looked at Derpy’s bag, and saw that there was indeed a hole in the underside, and from the look of the scattered mail, she’d gone pretty far before noticing her error.

“It’s gonna take me forever to pick it all up, and then what’s to stop more from leaking out? My boss is gonna really chew me out this time, and I can’t afford another pay cut.” 

She hung her head, wings drooping. I felt a twinge in my gut at these words. Another pay cut? This wasn’t the first time she’d messed up? Just how bad did she have it?

“I can almost hear him now,” she added, and imitated a gruff male voice, “‘Well, Hooves, what was it this time? Head stuck in a mailbox? Thought a package was a bomb? Thought somepony’s address was a misspelling? Well, that’s all right. After all, you just don’t know what went wrong!’” 

This last bit was, I assumed, meant to imply heavy sarcasm, but it had turned into a hysterical shriek. She had risen into the air, meanwhile, with her bag, in her bout of imitation, when all of a sudden,

*RIIIIIP!*

The hole in the bag burst open wider, and every letter came out at once with a solid “thump!” onto the ground, emptying the bag. All three of us stared at the mess, aghast, and then, in the next instant, Derpy sank to her knees, the tears rolling down her face. 

Pinkie, ears drooped, moved forward and hugged her consolingly. Derpy lay her chin on Pinkie’s shoulder, dropping the bag to put her forelegs around her. Now that was too much. It was bad enough that she had the appearance of somepony with, well, a bit of a handicap, and apparently had a record of clumsiness and mess-ups, but to see her reduced to tears when, so far, she had been very chipper, that was more than I could stand. I wished I could do something to help her.

“Oh! Good morning, Dave!” 

Startled, I looked up. Without knowing it, we were standing outside Carousel Boutique, and Rarity was standing in her doorway. She took one look at the miserable pegasus, and her expression took an immediate flip-flop. 

“Goodness, what’s going on? Derpy, darling, are you all right?” 

The pegasus didn’t answer. In all fairness, how could she?

“She’s really frustrated,” I explained. “Her mailbag ripped, and now she’s afraid of getting a pay cut because she’ll be late with deliveries.”

“Oh, that’s awful," said Rarity, sympathetically. "Bring her inside, with her bag. I’ll see if I can patch it up.”

“Would you?” I asked, relieved. “ That'd be great, Rarity. Hey, Derpy! Rarity says she can fix your bag!” 

Derpy looked up, sniffling and hiccupping.

“R-Really?” 

“Of course, sweetie,” said Rarity, kindly. “Come along in, and I’ll see what I can do.” 

Wiping at her eyes, Derpy finally smiled and, letting go of Pinkie, followed Rarity inside. For my part, I picked up the empty mailbag.

“What the heck was that all about?” asked a familiar voice. 

Looking up, I beheld Rainbow Dash hovering nearby, confused by what had just transpired. 

“Is Derpy all right?”

“Just a bit of work anxiety, Rainbow,” I said. “Derpy’s really having it rough today.”

“Is she? Man, that stinks. I knew her back in Cloudsdale, you know.”

“Did you?”

“Yeah. She was a bit older than the rest of us, so she could already fly by the time I started camp, but she wasn’t exactly…” 

She paused, trying to find the right word.

“Coordinated?” I supplied.

“That works. But she’s really sweet, and normally she never lets anything get her down. Besides, she’s got Dinky to think of.”

Then, all at once, a light bulb clicked on in my head. 

“Rainbow! Can I ask a favor?”

“Sure. Name it."

“Can you and Pinkie gather up Derpy’s mail? Rarity’s gonna sew up her mailbag, so the sooner we can get Derpy back in gear, the better.”

“No problem!” said Rainbow, saluting. “Come on, Pinks!”

“Right behind you, Dashie!” said Pinkie. 

The two hurried off, scooping up the scattered mail as I carried the bag with me into the boutique.


***


When I got in, Rarity had poured Derpy a cup of tea, which she was sipping gratefully in an armchair, still sniffling from time to time. The unicorn looked up as I entered.

“Ah, there you are, Dave. Just take the bag into my workroom, next to the sewing machine.” 

She pointed out the door down the hallway, in the center of the far wall. I nodded in comprehension and carried it over, setting it down where she asked. As I did so, I spotted something that staggered me not a little. 

There, folded up on the ironing board, was a stack of clothes that looked just like my own. The shirt was a dark blue, and the jeans looked like those I’d normally find on a rack at a store. Even the underwear and socks looked authentic, but I dared not touch any of them, lest Rarity not think they were complete yet. A diagram, covered with complex scraps of writing, numbers, and equations, sat nearby, showing what looked like two blank silhouettes of a human with clothes on them, one with the shirt and pants, the other with the underpants and socks. I was astonished that a pony like Rarity had a head for this sort of thing.

“What do you think?” 

Rarity’s voice came so suddenly that I jumped, spinning around.

“Rarity! *phew*!” I placed a hand on my heart. “You shouldn’t sneak up like that. You almost gave me a heart attack.”

“Sorry, darling. I just knew you’d notice your new clothes when you came in. Why don’t you try them on, see how they feel?”

“Really? Right now?”

“Certainly. And then, would you be a dear and keep Derpy company? The poor thing looks as if she really needs it.”

“I’d love to.” I said, scooping up the clothes under one arm. “Thanks, Rarity.”

“You’re welcome, dear. Now, this shouldn’t take more than a few minutes.” She levitated her work glasses onto the bridge of her snout. “We want to make sure this won’t happen again.” 

Nodding in agreement, I headed into the bathroom to change.


***


I had to admit, despite it being her first attempt, Rarity really did an admirable job on these new clothes. They felt like they had been freshly bought, or had just come out of the dryer. Even the fabric felt like it should have: real cotton, real denim. I had neatly folded up my old clothes and brought them with me when I went to check on Derpy. She was still sitting in the armchair, and had set the teacup aside. I pulled a chair up close to her.

“Hey, Derpy,” I said softly. 

She looked up at me.

“Hi,” she said, her voice still husky from crying. 	

“You ok now?”

“Yeah. I’ll be all right.”

“Good. Listen, Derpy, I’m really sorry that had to happen to you.”

“Don’t worry about it. I was just frustrated. I know I'm not the greatest mail-carrier out there. I mean, would you trust somepony with strabismus?"

Strabismus? Was that what was up with her eyes? I made no answer, not wishing to offend, and she pressed on,

"It's not so bad mostly, but I have my off days all too often. My boss hasn’t been too happy with me lately. My paycheck’s kind of suffered because of it.”

“Oh. Do you and Dinky still do all right?”

“Yeah. I just don’t want it to get worse.”

"I see."

We sat in silence for a few moments, then Derpy looked at me again.

“Can I tell you something?” she asked.

“Of course.”

“I wasn't always called Derpy Hooves.” 

I blinked.

“No?” 

I knew it. No one could ever suffer themselves to have such a degrading name.

“I used to be Ditzy Doo.” 

…And now we’d come full circle.

“Ditzy…Doo?”

“Silly, isn’t it?”

“No-no-no!” I said, hurriedly. “Not at all! Ditzy’s a…cute name.” 

She smiled half-heartedly.

“It’s ok, Dave. I changed it on purpose, just to lower the teasing even a little bit.”

“Well, I can understand changing Ditzy to Derpy, but why change Doo to Hooves?”

“Well, let’s just say ‘Derpy Doo’ is nowhere near as inviting as either of them.”

...Fair point.

"Derpy, you’ve got such a good heart," I said, sincerely. "You're the kind of somebody bad things should never happen to.”

“You think I have a good heart?" Derpy asked. "That’s so sweet…” 

Once more, her eyes were correctly aligned as she said this, and the sincere emotion in them was effectively carried across. It brought a smile to my face.

“You know, I can sympathize with what you go through," I said.

“You can?”

“Sure. I’m not perfect, either. I screw up a lot, mostly because I let things escape my notice too often, and by the time I realize I did so, it’s too late, and I’m being scolded for it. It’s not that I try to mess things up, but I just…don’t notice when I do. And then there’s always those times when I wish I could go back and change it, and when all I can say to myself is…that I just don’t know what went wrong.”

I gazed down at the floor, lost in melancholy thought. Talking about it only reminded me all the more of the home I’d left behind.

Derpy, perhaps sensing my emotional downturn, had leaned over in her chair and gave me a warm, comforting nuzzle. Touched, I put a friendly arm around her and pulled her into a side-hug. Misery loves company, they say, and now I could see why: two wounded souls needed each other to mend each other.

The tender moment was broken, however, as the door burst open, and there stood Rainbow Dash and Pinkie, both looking exhausted.

“There you are!” I said. “I was wondering when you two would show up.” 

Derpy looked up and gasped.

“Rainbow Dash!” 

She leaped from her chair and tackled the Technicolor pegasus in an ecstatic glomp. 

“Long time no see!” 

Rainbow chuckled and patted the bubble-marked pegasus on the back.

“Hey, Derpy. How’ve you been?”

“Not too bad. Well, not before earlier, anyway," she said, looking embarrassed.

“Aw, don’t sweat it,” said Rainbow. “We all get our off days. How’s Dinky?”

“Really good! Cheerilee really loved the oral report she gave last week!”

“She gave an oral report?” I asked, baffled. “That shy little kid?”

“Oh, she’s only shy around strangers,” said Derpy. “Once she gets to know you, she’s a little bundle of smiles!”

Oh yeah. Pinkie had mentioned that.

Then, as I looked at Rainbow and Pinkie again, I realized something was wrong with this picture. Very, very wrong.

“What’s wrong, Davie?” asked Pinkie, tilting her head. “You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“Girls…where’s the mail?”

“Huh?”

“The mail! I asked you to gather it up while Derpy’s bag was being mended! What did you do with it?”

“Oh, you just wanted us to gather it up?” asked Rainbow. “See, this is why you’ve gotta think ahead, Dave. We already took care of it.”

I just stared at them, unable to comprehend what she said.

“You…took care of it? What does that mean?”

“Well, duh!” said Pinkie. “We delivered it!” 

Now it was Derpy’s turn to look dumbfounded.

“You delivered it?…All of it?”

“Yep! Rainbow Dash sped it into the mailboxes, and I ran behind with more mail for her to restock on when her hooves were empty.” 

Words failed me. My jaw hung open like a cave.

“But…how…that…you…I…” I stammered. “In such short time!?”

“We would have done it in 5 minutes,” said Rainbow, “if somepony could keep up.” 

She gave Pinkie a pointed look.

“It’s not my fault,” said Pinkie, crossing her forelegs huffily. “I didn’t want to drop anything, so of course I couldn’t go as fast as you, Dashie!”

“Well, of course you couldn’t go as fast as me," she said, a touch of pride in her voice. "No one goes as fast as me.” 

“You two did that for me?” asked Derpy, still stunned.

“Of course, Derpy,” said Rainbow, in a much gentler tone. “You’re my pal. I’d never leave you hanging like that.”

“And I couldn’t leave you without turning your frown upside down,” said Pinkie. 

Those golden, mismatched orbs filled to the brim at these words, and, to tell the truth, I was quite touched myself. These two really were the Elements of Loyalty and Laughter.

“You girls…You’re the best!” 

Derpy threw her forelegs around their necks, hugging them so tightly that their faces turned red from the pressure, though Pinkie seemed to enjoy it while Rainbow looked less than comfortable. At that moment, Rarity came in, the mailbag in her levitation aura.

“Derpy, I’ve just finished!” she said, holding the bag up. “Stitched up good as new. You’d never even guess it was damaged in the first place.” 

It was true; even from where I sat, I could see no indication that there had even been a rip. Rarity’s appearance, at all events, seemed to have been a relief for Rainbow, for Derpy released her and Pinkie and instead gave Rarity a bone-crushing hug, showering her with “Thank you”-s, which hopefully was some placation for the flustered unicorn. Derpy then pulled out, from somewhere I couldn’t see, a coin purse, and was going to count out bits to pay for the stitch job, but Rarity shook her head emphatically.

“You’ve been through quite enough, darling. This one’s on me.” 

Despite Rarity’s generous nature, I couldn’t help wondering how she kept her business afloat if she kept doing so many expensive favors for her good friends. Still, I couldn’t find fault in her for having such a good heart. 

Derpy, after thanking Rarity once again, had shouldered her bag, and was heading out the door when another thought struck me. Of course! Why hadn’t I thought of it before? Derpy was Ponyville’s mail mare. That meant she most likely knew every square inch of it as she went about it day to day, delivering her letters and parcels. If anypony were to have noticed anything abnormal or out of place, it would be her!

“Can you girls excuse me? I need to ask her something,” I said. 

Without waiting for a reply, I rushed out the door in time to see Derpy ascending. 

“Derpy! Hold up!” I called, cupping my hands to my mouth. 

Thankfully, Derpy stopped and descended to face me.

“What is it, Dave?”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure! What is it?”

“Well, since you’re Ponyville’s mail mare, you’d know Ponyville with a good deal of familiarity, right?”

“Know it like the back of my wing!” said Derpy, proudly.

“And so you’d notice if something was out of place or not supposed to be there, right?”

“Well, sure, I guess.”

“Good. Well, have you noticed anything unusual the last couple of days? Like, around the time I first arrived?” 

Derpy put a hoof to her chin in contemplation, looking skyward (with one eye, anyway) in mental concentration.

“Hmm…As a matter of fact, I did notice something weird.”

“Yes?” I asked, eagerly.

“Something that just seemed…out of place.”

“YES?”

“Now, what was it?…Oh, yeah! I remember!”

“YES?”

“Sugarcube Corner switched up where they keep their muffins!”

“…What?”

“I mean, I know only a really observant eye would pick up something like that, but think about it! Every other time I’d gone to Sugarcube Corner, they kept the muffins on the left side of the counter, when you’re facing it from the front door, anyway. Well, yesterday, they started keeping them on the right side! Isn’t that just the craziest thing?”

“Yeah…Crazy,” I said, hollowly. 

All of that dramatic buildup, all for a change of bakery aesthetics??…

“You ok, Dave? You’re not mad, are you?” asked Derpy, mildly concerned.

“What? Oh! No, no, of course not. Not at you, anyway, Derpy. You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“Oh, good. Why, were you looking for something specific?”

“Don’t worry about it, Derpy. It's not a big deal."

“Well, all right, if you say so. Just remember, anything you need, I'll do what I can to help. Anything for a friend,” she added, with a warm smile.

“I’ll bear it in mind," I said, returning the smile. "Say hi to Dinky for me.”

“Will do! Bye!” 

She soared off as I waved goodbye to her. In the next moment, Pinkie and Rainbow rejoined me outside.

“What did the two of you have to say?” asked Pinkie.

“Oh, not much,” I said. “She just wanted me to let you know what a faithful customer she is.”

“Really? Why’s that?” she asked. 

“She can tell when the muffins have been moved," I said, dryly.
> Where oh Where Has Our Scootaloo Gone?
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day, I decided to head out into Ponyville and see if anypony wanted help with anything, in the hopes of perhaps earning a few bits. Pinkie, unfortunately, couldn’t come with me. She had to help the Cakes fill a big order of cupcakes for a Colt Guide troop meeting, followed by the usual busy work day. As I was going out, however, she did warn me that a storm was scheduled for later that day. The Ponyville weather team, of which Rainbow Dash was their captain, had to arrange a doozy to make up for a scheduled storm they’d overlooked earlier that week. With that in mind, I set out into the streets of Ponyville to look for odd jobs.

I hadn’t gone far when I heard someone groaning. Up ahead were three ponies whom I had seen in the marketplace, running flower carts, all gazing at something in the distance. One was pink with a curly green mane; another was also pink, but with a neatly-coiffed yellow mane decorated with a flower; and the last was cream-colored with a long, unkempt dark pink mane streaked with lighter pink. Pinkie had mentioned that their names were, respectively, Daisy, Lily, and Rose. I stepped up beside them and cleared my throat.

“Excuse me, ladies.”

The three looked up, surprised out of their observations.

“Good morning, Mr. Dave!” said Rose, genially.

“Is something the matter?” I asked.

“Oh, it’s poor Berry again,” said Daisy, pointing forward with a jerk of her head. 

I followed their gaze and saw the source of the groaning. Berry Punch, the purple mare with grapes for a cutie mark (as well as a strawberry, which had missed my notice at first), was sitting outside a house, looking queasy, nursing her stomach with her hoof. 

“Is she drunk?” I asked, stupefied. 

I never imagined Equestrian ponies to be capable of alcoholism. Go figure.

“Afraid so,” said Lily. “She’s a sweet girl, but a little too free with her own brews.” 

The other two flower mares nodded in agreement.

“So, what’s her cutie mark-given talent?” I asked.

“Juice and wine making,” said Daisy.

“Guess that was a little obvious," I conceded. "I’m gonna go see if she needs help.”

“Be careful,” warned Rose. “Like Lily said, she’s sweet and, well, mostly harmless, but she can also be a little unpredictable.”

“I’ll bear that in mind.” 

I walked over to the slumped mare, who didn’t seem to have heard me coming. 

“Hey there,” I said, softly, kneeling down. 

She turned her head and looked at me blearily, before breaking into a big smile.

“Heyyy! I know you!” she crowed, nudging me in the chest with her hoof, “You’re the human-man!”

“Er, yes I am, I guess.” 

Then, out of nowhere, she began singing, in a tottery, tipsy way, swinging her hooves as if she were conducting.

“Oh, who can take a sunrise

Soak it in a stew

Cover it with sugar lumps, a bale of hay or two

The human-man

Oh, the human-man can!” 

Then she broke into a bout of giddy giggles and hiccups. I looked back at the flower mares and shrugged helplessly, and all they could do was shrug in return, as if to say ‘this is typical’. I cleared my throat to get her attention.

“I couldn’t help but notice that you're just sitting here. Are you locked out of your house or something?”

“Yeah, don’t I just have the worst luck? Seems like every time I go out, that’s the time I forget my house key.”

“You didn’t…sleep out here all night, did you?” I asked.

“Nowhere else to go, human-man,” said Berry, honestly. 

Even in her dazed stupor, she must have recognized my stupefaction. 

“Ah, don’t sweat it. It’s not the first time it’s happened.”

“How have you gotten back in those other times, then?”

“Through the window. Swings inward.” 

She indicated one of the windows close by her door. It was circular, but rather small, making me highly doubt she would have been able to get inside through it, let alone any mare her size.

“Do you want me to help you get back inside?” I offered.

“Would you? Aww, that’d be swell! You’re a sweet guy, human-man!” 

She threw her forelegs rather roughly around my neck and hugged me, and even planted a kiss on my cheek. It wasn’t exactly pleasant, as she had rather strong post-wine breath.

“Not a problem,” I gasped out, and she finally let go. “So, what do you want me to do?”

“Think you could just give me a boost through the window? I’d do it myself, but my legs are all wobbly and jelly-like.” She paused, then giggled. “Hey. Think about it. What if my legs really were made of jelly? That’d be pretty funny, wouldn’t it?”

“Er, yeah, hilarious…Well, let’s give this a try, I guess.” 

She lifted her forelegs up, with a silly grin, as if she were a toddler asking to be lifted up. I took hold of her as best I could and heaved her up off the ground. She wasn’t extremely heavy, but still an awkward load to carry. She put her head and forelegs through the window, and started climbing inside, while I stood by to support her. When she got to her belly, she came to a stop. I watched her push forward once or twice, which just made her stomach bunch up against the frame, just a little too big to go through. Inside, I heard a muffled hiccup and giggle.

"I think I'm stuck," she said.

"Yeah, I think so, too," I said. "Don't worry, Berry. I'll help you."

Gently lifting her hind legs off the ground, I gave a firm push against them. Her belly slid through, but then her rump wedged itself in its place. This really made me wonder how she was able to get in previous times, unless she’d been putting on weight. It took no small amount of effort, and I wondered if Berry was even helping by pushing from her side, but eventually, I managed to help her squeeze through. There was a clattering and chinking, as of the sound of empty glass bottles being upset, as she fell inside.

“You ok, Berry?” I asked, through the window.

“Just peachy, human-man!” she responded, as cheerfully as if she’d just gotten out of bed. “Hang on, I’ll let ya in!” 

There was a fumbling of locks, and soon the door opened, allowing me entry. On the whole, it was actually neatly furnished and cozy in appearance. The only thing out of place was the pile of empty wine bottles cluttered together on the floor. I picked one up for a closer look, and saw that it was embellished with a special label: ‘Berry’s Brew’.

“My own recipe!” she said, proudly. “‘A blast in every bottle’! Neat, huh?”

“Very neat.” 

I regarded the bottle for a moment, then got an idea. 

“Say, Berry, can I take these off your hooves? You don’t really need them, do you?”

“Me? Nah, I don’t. Take all you want. Cash ’em for a few bits. You earned it, getting me back in my own house.”

Even in the midst of her tipsiness, she gave me a genuine smile.

“Great! Thanks, Berry.”

“No problemo, human-man. Now, if you’ll ‘scuse me, I’m gonna take a nap…” 

Without further ceremony, she flopped onto her couch and dropped into a heavy doze. The look on her face as she did so, considering how she was acting only moments ago, was downright peaceful. Rose was right: apart from her weird behavior while under the power of her own brew, she was rather harmless. She must have been downright pleasant when brought to her own senses. 

In any case, I gathered up all of the bottles my arms could manage, and then some, and lugged them out with me. Lily, Daisy, and Rose regarded me with amused surprise at seeing my load as I stepped out, and even giggled.

“Say, ladies,” I asked, strained, “could one of you be so kind as to point out the recycling center?”


***


I had entered the recycling center laden with bottles, and I exited with a pocket full of jingling bits. The proprietor seemed pretty thrilled as well, perhaps from having such a huge haul in one sitting. Now I could at least pay for a few things instead of relying on Pinkie to have to pay for me. With my first intention in mind, I made my way back into the town square, where the flower mares had set up shop. They looked up and smiled as I approached.

“Hello again, ladies.”

“Did everything turn out ok?” asked Daisy.

“Yeah. She’s zonked out for a nap now, and I took care of her empty bottles for her.”

“Well, I think that was very chivalrous of you,” said Rose. 

I could feel myself blushing at this comment, but I cleared my throat.

“Do either of you provide home delivery services for your flowers?”

“Sure! All three of us do,” said Lily.

“And how much does it run to?”

“For a dozen flowers delivered, that would be 5 bits,” said Rose.

“Great! Now, do either of you know what Rarity’s favorite flower is?”

“Ohhh!” said the three, looking at each other in a knowing, conspiring way that didn’t exactly sit well with me.

“N-Now, don’t get the wrong idea,” I said, stumbling. “I like her and everything, but-” 

The flower mares burst into giggles.

“We know,” said Daisy. “We’re just teasing you.” 

(I should hope so...

“In all seriousness, though,” Daisy went on, “she loves daffodils.”

“Then I’d like to have a dozen daffodils delivered to her, along with a card. She’s done so much for me in only a few days, and I want to be able to thank her however I can.”

“Aww, that’s so sweet,” said Rose, with a gentle smile.

“Well, it’s the best I could think of, anyway,” I said, modestly. 

They left the operation to Lily, whose specialty flowers included daffodils, and who handed me a blank card, on which I wrote:

“Dear Rarity,	
I know you said you didn’t want to be paid back in money for designing me new clothes, but I had to thank you somehow. I hope these flowers will be a perfect reflection of my appreciation.
Thank you, well and truly.	
Sincerely,
Dave."

With that done, I handed the card to Lily, and she assured me that the bouquet would be sent as soon as possible. I thanked the three floral mares and continued on my way, feeling very much gratified by what I’d just accomplished. As I said in the card, I knew Rarity would never accept a monetary present for something she considered a gift for a friend, but, thankfully, there were other ways of expressing gratitude for a gift straight from the manufacturer.


***
	

I’d been walking about Ponyville for a little while, making idle chitchat with some of the ponies I passed by. One of them, the blue and white unicorn I’d seen before, I found out was named Minuette, and she was visiting from Canterlot. Despite her cutie mark being an hourglass, she was actually a dentist. I supposed the hourglass may have meant a tendency to keep on-time appointments with patients. I was worried it would be awkward talking to her, as I’d never been much of a fan of dentistry. I just didn’t like thinking about what one might say about my own teeth if they had the chance. I’d had to wear braces for several of my teenage years, and those hadn’t left a very good impression on me. Thankfully, she didn’t saddle me with too many questions, but she did ask, out of habit, whether I brushed regularly, which I did, thankfully, and she seemed satisfied. Otherwise, she was perfectly friendly and chipper.

There was, however, one encounter that was even less pleasant. I once again ran into Golden Harvest, the curly-maned pony from the party. From what I heard, she was close friends with both Bon Bon and Lyra, but was also a carrot farmer (honestly, that should have been a given to me, considering her cutie mark). Unfortunately, it seemed she had a bit of a rivalry with the Apple family, who had a stall right next door to her at the marketplace. She acted rather coldly towards me, as she had apparently seen me acting friendly with Big Macintosh and Apple Bloom, and was inclined to believe I was placing favorites. Naturally, I tried to defend myself.

“I don’t want to pick favorites, believe me,” I told her, “I wouldn’t want to make enemies of anybody, or anypony, for that matter.” 

Even as I said this, my thoughts dwelled back to that Ironmane unicorn who had treated me so coarsely yesterday. Golden Harvest, however, didn’t seem the least bit mollified by my statement. She must have thought I was just trying to be evasive.

“Try to understand, Dave,” she said, “it’s nothing personal. I don’t like disliking anypony because of a personal injury. It’s all simply business. Can you tell me what the staple diet of an equine is?” 

Dreading what conclusions she would draw should I answer incorrectly, I listed off what came into my head.

“Well, there’s hay, oats, carrots, apples-” 

Here she stopped me.

“Exactly. Carrots and apples, both staples of an equine diet, yet I can’t help but think they favor the fruit of Little Miss Tree-Kicker’s labors more than mine.” 

Here, her eyes narrowed. 

“What do you favor more, Dave? Apples or carrots? What does a human lean toward the most?” 

I knew this question was coming. I could have seen it a mile away. Naturally, I was inclined to say that I liked both, but I half-expected that she would never accept such a wishy-washy answer like that, and would force me to rethink it.

Thankfully, salvation arrived in the form of Bon Bon, who trotted up upon seeing Golden Harvest giving me the evil eye.

“Harvest, are you tormenting poor Dave?” she asked, sharply. “For Celestia’s sake, there’s no need to make your little ‘Apples vs. Carrots’ spiel an all-out war!”

“I wasn’t going to make it a war, Bon Bon,” said Golden Harvest, tersely, “it was just a simple question.”

“That’s no excuse,” said Bon Bon, before turning to me. “I’m very sorry about this, Dave. Harvest means well. She just has a very strong sense of her own business.”

“So I can see,” I said, looking at the carrot sales pony cautiously. “In all honesty, I like both just fine.”

“Tch!” said Golden Harvest. “Typical.” 

Without another word, she walked off, nose in the air.

“Harvest!” chided Bon Bon. 

She sighed in exasperation and trotted after her, calling out another apology to me as she did so. Very much unnerved at having been grilled like that, I continued on my own way.


***


My wanderings had wiled away the hours, when I couldn’t find many ponies who also needed some help done. I’d returned to Sugarcube Corner for lunch with Pinkie, who was on break at the time, all the while listening to her chat about seeing So-and-so and planning a party for What’s-his-name. She had to get back to work after that, so I bid her adieu and returned to ‘the beat’, as it were, in the hopes of hunting down some more odd jobs.

I hadn’t gone far, however, before I was tackled to the street with incredible force, knocked onto my back. Looking up, I beheld my assailant to be…

“Derpy?!”

“Hi, Dave!” she said. 

With her standing on top of my torso like this, it reminded me very much of the way Tigger would greet his friends in Winnie the Pooh. Come to think of it, Lyra had greeted me much the same way when we first met. Whatever was on Derpy’s mind, she was positively beaming.

“Can I…help you with something?” I asked.

“Help me? You did plenty of that yesterday, and I came by to thank you!” 

She sat back so I could get into a sitting position.

“Er, really?”

“My boss was amazed at how fast my mail was delivered, but he knew I couldn’t have done it myself. I told him it was Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash who helped me, but that you had asked them to.”

“And what did he say?”

“He just kinda smiled and said, ‘You’ve got friends in high places, Hooves’. Then he gave me a raise for a job well done!”

“Really? Derpy, that’s great news-HURK!!” 

Derpy had grabbed me up in a bone-crushing hug.

“You have no idea how grateful I am, Dave!” she said, sounding on the verge of tears. “After goofing up and letting ponies down so many times, finally some good luck shines down on old Derpy Hooves! You had Rarity sew up my bag, and you got the idea to have the mail delivered for me!” 

Technically, that had been Rainbow Dash’s idea. 

“If there’s anything I can ever do to repay you, just say the word and I’ll do it!” 

Despite the uncomfortable pressure from her hug, I couldn’t help but feel happy for her good fortune, and touched that she considered me the root of it.

“It’s all right, Derpy,” I gasped out. “No thanks are necessary…though I wouldn’t mind if you loosened your grip a bit.”

“Oh! Oopsie!” 

Thankfully, she let me go. 

“Sorry. But I mean it, Dave. I’ll never forget how you helped me out. Ever.” 

With a teary-eyed smile, she flapped her wings and took off once again. As I watched her go, I couldn’t help but think back to her frustration yesterday, the pang of remorse I’d felt that someone like her should have to suffer so much. My world could really learn a lot from these ponies…

As I continued my wanderings, with the afternoon wearing on, I noticed three ponies running in my direction, but looking this way and that as they did so. Two I recognized as Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle, but the third was a grown mare. She had a dark-pink coat, a fluffy pink mane striped with pinkish-white, and green eyes. As she turned to look down alleyways in their path or into store windows, I saw her cutie mark: three sunflowers with smiling faces. All three looked anxious, as if they were searching for something important. Sweetie Belle recognized me first, and called out to me.

“Dave! You’ve gotta help us! It’s Scootaloo!” 

Feeling uneasy, I hurried over, wondering what on Earth could have happened to her. Apple Bloom and the mare saw me now too, with the former looking relieved to see me as well, while the latter had an expression of astonished interest on her face.

“Oh, Dave! Thank goodness it’s you!” said Apple Bloom.

“Hello, girls,” I said, before turning to the mare. “And you are, ma’am?”

“Cheerilee,” said the mare. "Ponyville's resident school teacher."

So, this was the Crusaders’ darling teacher. She certainly did have a motherly, tender-hearted look to her. 

“And you must be Dave, I presume?” she continued.

“That’s right.”

“I’m glad to finally meet you, after hearing what the girls have told me of you, though I wish our meeting wasn’t under such circumstances.”

“What do you mean?”

“Scootaloo has been missing since yesterday. She didn’t attend class, and no one had seen her. When she didn’t arrive today, we figured something was wrong, so we went to look for her.”

“What about her parents?” I asked. "Wouldn't they know?"

“That’s just it,” said Cheerilee. “We have no one to contact. No one even knows where Scootaloo lives.”

“What?" I asked, perplexed. "Not even you, her teacher?”

“Not even me.”

“And you’ve never met anypony who would answer the description of being her parents or guardians?”

“No one," said Cheerliee, and she sighed sadly. "It’s something I’d long suspected, but didn’t wish to think.” 

So, did that mean...

Scootaloo was an orphan?

That would have explained her evasive behavior. It must have been painful, as well as an embarrassment, when her closest friends both had families. But then, where had she been living all this time, if not even her best friends, or even her own teacher, knew where she stayed?

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of rapidly-flapping wings and someone panting. We all looked up to see Fluttershy, very much out of breath, as if she had come from miles away.

“It’s…it’s dreadful!” she gasped out. “Scootaloo…She’s…oh, I still can’t believe it…” 

She looked as if what she was trying to say was physically paining her.

“Go ahead, Fluttershy,” I encouraged, gently. “What about Scootaloo?”

“Her scooter…I saw it, when I was out walking…it’s parked at the edge of…of the Everfree Forest!”


> Into the Forest
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Everfree Forest…

Even though I had only been given the general gist of the place by Pinkie and Fluttershy, I could, at this point, summarize for myself that it was the one location in or near Ponyville that nopony dared to explore, due to monsters and phenomena beyond their understanding. Nonetheless, Pinkie, Twilight, and the others had had to venture into it from time to time, most notably in their quest to find the Elements of Harmony and stop Nightmare Moon. Even after that, ponies still stayed away from it, as nothing good ever seemed to come out of it (going into it, that is, not anything leaving its boundaries, heaven forbid). With that in mind, I had to wonder what on Earth possessed little Scootaloo to go into such a place, and the thought of a filly her age wandering around in it was all the more unsettling.

A nagging, disquieting feeling in the back of my mind told me that, somehow, I had been the cause of it. Scootaloo had been missing since yesterday, the day after I’d met her and accidentally tread upon the subject of her home. Perhaps it was just my paranoia speaking, but it was hard for me to discount it as mere chance when it happened after the last time I’d seen her. Was she bitter about me butting into her personal affairs, prompting her to want to get away from such prying questions? Had she decided enough was enough? Was she…?

“Dave? Are you all right?” 

I blinked, shaking my head to clear my thoughts. Apple Bloom was tugging at my pant leg, Cheerilee was comforting a fretful Sweetie Belle, and Fluttershy was standing on all fours, catching her breath. 

“You kinda spaced out.”

“Y-Yeah, I’m fine," I said. "I’m just trying to wrap my head around why Scootaloo would be in that forest. Granted, I know so little about it.”

“Believe me, Dave,” said Fluttershy, emphatically, “the less you know about it, the better. It’s a dreadful place.”

“Well, sure, the thought of manticores and cockatrices isn’t exactly inviting," I said, "but we can't just leave her to fend for herself in there!” 

“N-No, of course not!" said Fluttershy, sounding horrified. "I never meant-!” 

“I know you didn’t," I said, gently, putting a hand to her shoulder. "That’s why there’s only one option left.”

“Which is?”

“…I’m going in there to find her.”

If the news of Scootaloo’s disappearance had rattled the four ponies, this bold, not to mention ludicrous, proposition gave them fresh alarm. Cheerilee seemed to be on the verge of protesting, but I held up my hand to cut her off.

“Don't try to talk me out of it. I can't just sit here and do nothing while she's alone in that forest. I can’t help feeling responsible, anyway.”

“Responsible? How on Earth can you think such a thing?” asked Cheerilee.

“The last time I saw her...I kinda struck a nerve with her. I didn't mean any harm by it. I only offered to walk her home. I had no idea she had no home to walk home to. I can’t help but feel like there’s a connection. Maybe she went into the forest to get away from those prying questions.”

The others simply stared at me. Fluttershy, however, looked stern.

“Honestly, Dave, you’re being ridiculous,” she said, in a scolding tone that actually startled me. 

She leaned in close to my face, putting her hooves on my shoulders, her gaze steady. 

“Scootaloo disappeared after you’d seen her last. Because of that, you’re blaming yourself for it. It's just a coincidence. She might have had some other reason for going in, like trying a new way to get her cutie mark.”

“But without her friends?” I countered, gesturing to Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle. “Why would she, if they’re a team?”

“I don’t know,” she said, “but that's no reason to blame yourself for something you might not even have caused. It wasn't your fault, Dave, I know it, so don't think like that.”

At first, I didn’t know what to say. All I could do was gaze into those sea-green eyes. That’s when it came to me. According to another of Twilight’s stories, those very same eyes had stared down a full-grown dragon when it had refused to leave, and had even gone so far as to attack her friends. She’d been extremely hesitant the entire time, due to a fear of the beast (and frankly, I wouldn’t have blamed her). Upon seeing the harm it was causing, however, she had put aside her fears for the moment and actually scolded it, as if she had been its own mother, reducing it to tears, no less! In those eyes, I saw who Fluttershy truly was: a protector, a mother-figure, defender of her loved ones, possessing the kindest, most tender heart of anypony.

With a sigh, I gripped her hoof gratefully in my hand.

“Thanks, Fluttershy. That’s not stopping me from going in to find her, though.”

“Of course it isn’t," said Fluttershy, "and I’m going with you.” 

Cheerilee and the fillies started at this. Fluttershy had said this so frankly, and even with a bit of a smile on her face, that it almost made me smile myself at how bold she was being.

“Are you sure?” I asked.

“Very sure. For Scootaloo.”

“For Scootaloo,” I echoed, with a nod.

“We’ll go with ya, too!” said Apple Bloom.

“Absolutely not,” said Cheerilee, firmly. “The last thing we need is you two getting lost as well.”

“But Miss Cheerilee!” Sweetie Belle protested, “Scootaloo’s our friend! We can’t just abandon her!”

“Yeah!" said Apple Bloom. "What if it were one of us in there? She’d never stay back!”

“Girls,” said Fluttershy, gently, “please try to understand. I know it’s hard to have to sit back while a friend is in trouble, but that doesn’t mean you’ve deserted them. As long as they’re still in your thoughts and in your heart, you’ll never have fully abandoned them.”

“Besides,” I said, “Miss Cheerilee’s right. We can’t risk losing you to the forest, either. You haven’t left Scootaloo, not by a long shot, so don’t fret about that. We’ll be back with her before you know it. All right?” 

The two fillies looked reluctant, but they gazed up at me and nodded.

“Thank you, Dave, Fluttershy,” said Cheerilee. “Be safe.”

“We’ll do our best, ma’am,” I said, before turning to my pegasus companion. “Lead the way, Fluttershy.”

“All right.” 

Taking off into a slight hover, she led me down the main street, towards the outskirts. I turned back, and saw Cheerilee, Apple Bloom, and Sweetie Belle still watching after us. Then, slowly, they disappeared over the rearward horizon.


***


According to Fluttershy, there was only one entrance into the Everfree Forest, and the entrance was its only exit as well, as it was the only one with a visible path. Lose the path, and there was very little chance of finding your way back out. I was reminded irresistibly of one of my more favorite books, The Hobbit, specifically the chapter where the hobbit, Bilbo Baggins, and his thirteen dwarf companions were forced to venture into an ill-omened forest that, if you lost the path, would prove to be little better than your final resting place…

At all events, Fluttershy stood beside me as we looked into the path between the looming, dark trees. It wasn’t helped by the fact that the sky was rapidly blackening. The doozy of a storm that Pinkie had warned me about would be happening any moment. Not only that, but the forest had its own erratic weather patterns, as I’d been told before. This would make our excursion much more miserable, but for Scootaloo’s sake, we just had to bear it.

“You ready?” I asked Fluttershy.

“Yes,” was all she said in reply. 

She was shivering on the spot, but her expression was resolutely determined. It made me feel pretty guilty about dragging her into this, but she’d come of her own free will, in the end. On top of that, even if I hadn’t volunteered to go in to find Scootaloo, who’s to say she wouldn’t have ventured in herself anyways? So, side by side, we stepped onto the path and into the trees.

Almost immediately, we were immersed in near-total darkness. It was so dark, I could just barely see my hand in front of my face. Fluttershy leaned close to my side, as if to assure that we didn’t get separated. Aside from the odd rumble of thunder, there were unsettling, ‘forest-y’ noises: leaves rustling, something scurrying along the ground or the branches, twigs snapping beneath us. Other than that, nothing. It made me feel like Ichabod Crane riding home on Halloween night, spooked out of his wits by the tale of the Headless Horseman. The only difference here was that there was no chance of there being such a phantom as the Horseman in a land of sentient equines. Granted, that was very little comfort, considering what I’d heard about the forest's denizens already.

“Scootaloo!” I called, putting my hands to the sides of my mouth to amplify the distance. 

My voice echoed through the eerie silence of the forest, bringing no change in the eerie atmosphere. 

“SCOOTALOO!” 

Still nothing. The only response was a chorus of “loo”s returning to me. 

“SCOOTALOO, WHERE ARE YOU??” I tried again. 

This time there was another response: a loud, booming crack of thunder that rattled the trees and shook the ground. I heard Fluttershy give a squeal of fright, and I felt my heart jump into my throat. That was way too close for comfort…Next, a very rapid pitter-patter of rain, with stray drops falling through the dense mass of trees. At least it provided some protection from the storm.

“Well, I’ll give this place one thing,” I said, after everything had quieted down. “It has amazing acoustics.” 

I chuckled, but Fluttershy didn’t laugh. She probably didn’t get what I’d meant.

"Let's just keep moving," I said.

She nodded, and we pressed on.


***


It felt like we had been walking for hours, my feet and her hooves crunching over dead leaves and twigs, calling for Scootaloo. My throat was aching from yelling, and the rain pattering against the leaves only made me thirstier. Once in a while, a deep rumble of thunder broke over the trees, and Fluttershy would whimper and nestle up close to me. The poor thing...

“I just hope Scootaloo found some kind of shelter. Otherwise, I dunno how she’d make it through however long she was in here.” 

There was an especially loud crash of thunder, and I was temporarily blinded by the streak of lightning that came with it. I felt my heart jump in my chest, and Fluttershy gave another terrified squeal. We were taking a lot of chances being out here in this kind of weather.

“Listen, Fluttershy," I said, "I know you must be scared out of your wits right now, and I don’t blame you. I’m a bundle of nerves myself, but we have to say strong for Scootaloo. She has to be around here somewhere, and she must be more scared than us. So let's keep going, all right?” 

I turned to look at her…and all the blood drained from my limbs.

She was gone!

“Fluttershy?? Where’d you go?!” I called, frantically, scrabbling around in the hopes of unearthing her hiding behind a bush or something. 

But no, there was no trace of yellow or pink among the grim green and gray. My heart began to hammer like a machine set on overdrive. 

“Fluttershy?? Fluttershy! FLUTTERSHY!!”

Not one response.

Not one indication that she was near.

I was alone.

Alone in the Everfree Forest.


***


Panic. 

Sheer, unhindered, unbridled panic overtook me. I was stranded, isolated, as good as buried alive, under a sea of dark trees and looming dangers. I was like a blind man whose lost the leading guidance of his dog, like a rowboat set adrift in a raging sea. I’d lost Scootaloo, Fluttershy…and myself.

I must have utterly lost my senses in my terror, as every little forest sound, every snapping twig, every rustling leaf seemed horribly magnified in my ears. I stumbled around, twisting my head this way and that, as if conscious of some murderous beast stalking me right at my back. Consequently, I didn’t see where I was going, and smacked, face-first, into a tree in my way. I stumbled backward, slumping against another tree. There was a sharp pain in my forehead, and when I touched it, my fingers came back soaked in blood. 

I let out a groan of misery. I must have been the most pathetic sight in the world: lost, sweaty with fright, bleeding from the forehead. I’d come to the conclusion, one that I’d supposed earlier on, that not everything in this world of Equestria was as sugar-sweet and innocent as one would have liked or hoped to believe. Everything before me seemed hopeless. I had no idea where Fluttershy was, and nopony else would think to look for me, unless word had gone round of Scootaloo’s disappearance. I was as good as dead…

“Someone…anyone…please…help me…” 

My voice was very choked, and I was sure it wouldn’t have carried very far in my state. I was done for: I’d never see Pinkie or Twilight or Rarity or any of them ever again…nor my family…I would die here, in a strange land, with no chance of atoning for my disappearance. That was the worst of all…

My gloom was checked, however, by a rustling of bushes. I looked up instantly. Was that Fluttershy? Had she found me after all? Was it Scootaloo?

What came out of the bushes, however, was not Fluttershy, nor Scootaloo. It was something that chilled my inside to the very marrow.

It was a wolf. Or was it? It certainly looked like a wolf, but it was made of pieces of what appeared to be tree bark, with burning yellow eyes. It was like some horrific wood-carving, made with astonishing detail, down to the very fangs, come to life. Then, to add even more to my horror, a second appeared at its side. Both were crouched low, growling with feral savagery. The breath coming from their wooden jaws was putrid.

“Nice doggies…” I said, in an attempt to placate them, but in all honesty, when had that ploy ever worked in these situations? 

The wolves’ leaf-browed eyes narrowed, and they bared their fangs.

“Please, stay back…” 

I might as well have said nothing, for the good it did. They crouched lower, growling even more, ready to spring. There was nowhere for me to run. They had me cornered. All I could do was clasp my hands together, squeeze my eyes shut, and pray one last prayer to Heaven for mercy’s sake.

At the conclusion, I saw the smiling face of Pinkie swim into my thoughts. 

Oh, Pinkie, my first friend in this strange land. How much grief would you have to endure, knowing that I wasn’t coming back? How much would it pain you for me to depart without repaying my immense gratitude for your kindness and friendship?

(I’m so sorry, Pinkie. Please forgive me…)

The next instant, with savage growls, claws and fangs bared, the wolves lunged, prepared to send me to my Maker…

> Zecora of the Everfree
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

But the fangs and claws never struck. 

Instead, there was a loud *crack*, not of thunder, but of something being struck with a wooden stick. There was a yelp and a whimper, and when I opened my eyes, I beheld someone wrapped in a brown cloak standing in front of me, facing the wolves, a staff held out in front of them. One of the wolves had been struck right between the eyes. 

A woman’s voice, throaty and spoken in what sounded like an African accent, said,

“Away, you hounds of bark and bite! You shall not feast on his flesh tonight!” 

The wolves growled, but backed away, slowly. The figure shouted something in a language I didn’t understand and swept the staff wide in front of her, nearly hitting the savage creatures. Finally, the wolves fully retreated, skulking off into the underbrush.

All I could do was sit and stare, dumbfounded at what had just happened. The figure turned to face me, and I saw that the staff was held in a pair of hooves, but she put it over her back, in a kind of sling, and set herself down on all fours. A white muzzle, dark gray at the nose, was all that was visible through the hood of the cloak.

“Are you hurt, my dear, besides your head? Those wolves would have likely stripped you dead.”

“I-I’m fine," I stammered. "Thank you for saving me, whoever you are.”

“You are lucky I was near, or I might not have heard. This storm would drown out the loudest bird.” 

As if to prove her point, there was another crash of thunder. 

“But come, we are wasting time as we speak. You shall accompany me, if you are not too weak.”

I had no idea why this stranger was speaking in rhymes, or how she could keep it up, but she'd just saved my life, and I wasn't about to turn down her offer. Shakily, I got to my feet, and my savior slowly walked alongside me, leading the way through the trees, allowing me to support myself with an arm across her shoulders. Whoever she was, she was slightly taller than a normal pony.

At last we arrived at what appeared to be an enormous tree, but what a tree it was! It had a door and windows, meaning it was a dwelling, but the branches and exterior were festooned with creepy tribal masks. The stranger led me inside, where the first thing I saw was a metal cauldron sitting over a fire. There were more masks sitting around, and the shelves were lined with books, bottles, and flasks, the latter two filled with plants, herbs, and various liquids. Was my rescuer a witch doctor?

“I have something in my stock that can settle your wound, so lie back and relax, and I’ll fetch it soon.” 

Against one wall was a sofa made of intricately carved wood, and she led me to it, laying me down gently on my back. Then, she took off the sling for her staff, setting it against the wall, before going to one of the shelves, browsing it before pulling down a bottle full of bluish liquid in her teeth. She set it on a small table by the sofa, then, going to another shelf, fetched what looked like a green strip off of some plant and a brown rag. With the rag, held in her hoof, she mopped the blood from my forehead, muttering something in what I assumed was her native language, though it was all gobbledygook to me. Next, she took the green strip, poured several drops of the liquid onto it, then placed it, with the saturated part across my cut, along my forehead.

“EE-YOW!” I yelped, and I would have jumped up abruptly, had she not had one hoof against my chest. 

The liquid, or the strip, or both, stung my forehead like a hot iron. 

“What are you trying to do to me?!”

“It stings now, yes, but let it work. You’ll ignore the relief if you flail and jerk.” 

Even as she said this, tying the strip behind my head like a bandana, I felt the burning sensation subside, to be replaced by a soothing coolness. It was almost like a reverse Icy-Hot. I sighed with relief and lay back down.

“Sorry. I should know better than to distrust someone who knows what they’re doing. I still have no idea who you are, though.” 

She gave a slight laugh.

“True, I have brought you all the way to my place, yet have done nothing at all to reveal my face.” 

She raised one hoof up and pulled her hood back, revealing the face of a zebra. She had blue, almond-shaped eyes, a mane styled like a mohawk, enormous gold earrings, and several gold neck rings. 

“Ohh!” I said, realization dawning upon me at last. “You must be Zecora!”

“Yes, indeed, I am she. Zecora of the Everfree.” 

She removed the rest of her cloak, placing it on a hook on the wall. She was slender in build, and aside from more gold rings on her left foreleg, she also had what looked like a cutie mark, resembling a spiral sun, its rays represented by little triangles. Could non-ponies even get cutie marks, or was this something totally different?

“It’s good to meet you at last," I said. "My name’s Dave.”

“Dave,” she repeated, seeming to mull it over. Then, she smiled. “A pleasant name, short and sweet, though it seems much smaller for a lad of 6 feet.” 

I couldn’t help cracking a grin at her joke, even if it was another jab at my height. 

“I’d heard about you from Twilight Sparkle. You gave her something for her headache.” 

Zecora nodded.

“She has done so much good for me, so I, in return, supplied the remedy. I only wish it could have been more, considering what had happened before.”

“Before? What happened before?” 

A slightly graver, almost wistful, expression came over her face.

“I’d long been a stranger in this pony land, and my entrance to their presence was not too grand. They believed me an enchantress, an unwholesome seer, and I’m afraid I did nothing to lessen their fear. A zebra from far off, who lives among these trees? Such alone would quake the mightiest of knees. And what do they say when they hear that I brew? That I’m only preparing a hot, pony stew.” 

She gave a small scoff at such an idea. I myself found it quite ridiculous to imagine.

“So, just because you live in the forest and practice potion-making, ponies gave you a bad rap before?" I asked. "That’s a pretty lame deal.” 

Zecora chuckled again, in a good-natured way. 

“But thanks to Twilight and her pony friends, I was able to put those rumors to an end. It took a bit of work, and one very big ‘joke’, but they earned me a place among the pony folk.”

“Well, that’s good to hear, at least. Though I have to ask, why do you live in this forest, if you’re no longer an outcast? It’s a nightmare out there!”

“The Everfree Forest is very perilous, at first, but becomes less so once you’ve already faced the worst,” she said, sagely.

“The worst? You mean like those wolves?” 

Zecora nodded.

“The timber wolves, the Ursas, and much more besides, that lurk in the darkness to feast on pony hides.”

“Yeesh…”

“But it is the forest’s flora that keeps me living here. Nowhere else in the forest are they quite as near. My medicines and brews use the rarest plants of all, whether they grow in a bush or in a tree strong and tall.”

“Oh, I think I get it. But, doesn’t it get lonely out here by yourself?”

“Sometimes, but my hut has plenty of room, for visiting ponies, like little Apple Bloom.”

“Apple Bloom??” I asked, surprised, sitting up. “She comes out here all by herself?”

“She is a brave one, that little filly, though her ‘crusading’ antics are incredibly silly.”

“And her family allows this?” 

I couldn’t exactly envision Applejack allowing her little sister to wander into the Everfree Forest on her own accord.

“She likes to help me, before it grows dark. She believes it will help earn her cutie mark.”

“I see.” 

Then, all of a sudden, as if it were a bolt out of the blue, I remembered something. Scootaloo!

“Zecora! You haven’t seen Scootaloo, have you?" I asked. "You know who she is, right?" 

"I know Scootaloo, yes. But why such distress?"

"She’s lost somewhere in the forest, and I’ve been trying to find her. That’s why you found me in the state I was in.” 

A look of grave worry came over Zecora’s face.

“Little Scootaloo, out there all alone? Oh, this is a very ill wind that has blown…”

“I know. It almost makes me sick to think of her lost out here. I know she’s a tough kid, but that’s just it: she’s a kid.” 

Zecora nodded.

“The bravest of foals are not exempt from their fears. They simply mask it to keep face with their peers. I have not seen her, Dave, I’m afraid. Most unfortunate, as the day begins to fade.”

“Yeah," I said, gloomily "and she’s supposedly been out here since the day before. If she’s survived, it’ll be a miracle, and I’ve always tried to hold onto those small miracles."

Zecora put a hoof comfortingly on my arm, but both of us jumped at the sound of a rapid, oddly quiet knocking on her door. Gesturing to me to keep where I was, Zecora approached one of her windows and peered out. A very puzzled look was on her face.

“What is it?” I asked. “Is it-?” 

Zecora shook her head, then went to the door and opened it. Standing in the doorway was…

“Fluttershy!”

“Dave! Thank goodness!” 

I’d barely sat up on the sofa before she tackled me in a tight hug around my chest. I wasted no time in embracing her myself. I was so happy to see her, safe and sound. She had a few nicks and scratches, and a stray leaf was in her straggled mane, but otherwise, she looked perfectly fine.

“Fluttershy," I croaked. "I was so worried about you.”

“Worried about me?” she asked, incredulously, pulling away to look me in the face. “Imagine how worried I was for you! When that thunder crashed so close to us, I ran away in a fright, not even thinking about what I was doing. But then, when I saw that I’d left you behind...” 

Tears welled up in her eyes at the thought. Then her gaze fell on the bandage around my head, and she gasped. 

“You’re wounded, too! Oh no...” 

She turned her gaze away from me, guilt etched all over it. 

“How could I have been so cowardly? I left you all alone in the Everfree Forest! I should have known better! Oh, Dave, can you ever forgive me?”

It broke my heart to see her so pained, as sweet and sensitive as she was. I could only imagine that she was the sort to feel the most blame for something to go wrong, if she were involved or at least present. 

Come to think of it, that sounded just like me. I hated seeing things go wrong, or the impending danger of something going wrong, even in the movies, because it always filled me with a strong sense of guilt or dread. When I was in school, and the whole class was being berated for misbehaving, even if I’d had nothing to do with it, it still hurt my conscience as if I had done something wrong. It sounded just like the sort of thing Fluttershy must have been going through at that moment.

“Fluttershy,” I said, gently, stroking her mane in a consolatory way, “I don’t blame you in the slightest.” 

Sniffling, she turned back around, eyes still full of tears. 

“I was pretty spooked from that thunderclap, and I was even more scared when I lost sight of you. I’ll admit, I didn’t take it too gracefully, either. In fact, if I might be free to admit it, I went a little nuts.” 

Fluttershy sniffled again, but giggled slightly.

“My point is," I continued, "before we went into the forest, you said it was silly to blame myself for Scootaloo’s disappearance. Well, I don't blame you for what happened in the forest. The important thing is that we're both all right, though I have Zecora to thank for my safety.” 

I turned an appreciative smile to the zebra, who nodded. 

“It's no one's fault. We both lost our heads for a bit. So don’t worry about it, all right?” 

Making a wipe at her eyes, she nodded, then gave me a much warmer hug, which I gladly returned, happy to have her back again. Zecora was standing patiently by, watching the scene with an admiring smile on her face. It didn’t matter that the storm was still raging outside, the raindrops beating against the roof. All that mattered was that we were in safe hooves once again, and had survived our trial of fear. 

At that moment, someone coughed from somewhere near the open doorway. Fluttershy and I turned to look, and as I’m sure it must have on mine, the color drained from the yellow pegasus’s face, both of our jaws hanging open.

It couldn’t be...

It was impossible...

But it was true.

Standing in the doorway, shivering, drenched in mud, leaves in her mane and tail, and with a miserable, woebegone look on her face, was Scootaloo.

Before any of us could say anything, she had dived in between the both us and curled up into a quivering, sniffling ball. Fluttershy took her in her hooves and held her close, cooing soft reassurances to her. Zecora and I looked at each other, dumbfounded at the filly’s unexpected arrival. When Fluttershy finally let go, Scootaloo, still sniffling, managed to say, in a whimper,

“I wanna go home…”

“Don't worry, Scootaloo," I said, softly. "We're here for you.” 

I picked her up and cradled her against my chest, where she nestled against me, tears still running down her cheeks. The mud and dirt all over her didn’t even catch my notice, even as it was spreading onto me as she leaned against me. I looked up at Zecora. 

“Can you lead us out?”

“Your guide to the outside I shall certainly be, but the forest is still perilous. Stick close and follow me.” 

Fluttershy and I both got up from the sofa, Scootaloo still in my arms, and we followed the zebra out of her hut, back into the forest where so many miseries had befallen the three of us.


> What to Do for Scootaloo
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

We were a very quiet group as we made our way out. The rain was still pattering down against the foliage above, and an occasional drop landed on the top of my head or the end of my nose. Scootaloo said nothing the whole way, but continued to sniffle as she sat huddled against my chest. I was dying to ask her why she had wandered into the forest, but I could tell she was in no state to tell me.

There was something else on my mind, as well. It wouldn’t take long for everypony to realize that Scootaloo had no home to call her own, no guardian to answer for her. She would most likely be sent to an orphanage, and I had a feeling she and her friends would not like that idea at all. 

Could I even help her, though? I had my meeting with Twilight tomorrow, and the city council might take immediate action on her case. Would she even want my help, if it turned out I was indeed the reason for her going into the forest? How could I help her? I didn’t know anyone who would be willing to take her in, or who was even capable of it, but there had to be someone who could. It was a lot to think about.

Suddenly, Zecora stopped in her tracks, and we almost bumped into her.

“What is it?” I asked.

“Shh…” she said, quietly. “Someone approaches from over there. It may be friend or foe, so beware.” 

She pointed to a cluster of bushes ahead. Something indeed was moving towards us, rustling the bushes as they went. I kept a tighter hold on Scootaloo, who gazed with wide, alert eyes toward the spot. Fluttershy huddled against my side, quivering. Zecora stood ahead of us, eyes sternly ahead, tense as a bowstring. Whatever it was came closer and closer, and I felt my heart hammer beneath my ribs.

With a bark, a brown and white dog jumped through the nearest bush, tail wagging. Fluttershy let out a gasp of delight.

“Winona! You came to look for us!” she said, gratefully. 

The dog, upon recognizing her, jumped into her open hooves and began smothering her face with licks, making the pegasus giggle. I was bewildered at such a random appearance.

“Is she your dog?” I asked. 

I wouldn’t have been surprised. Winona had stopped licking Fluttershy, and was now getting an affectionate scratching behind her ear.

“Oh, no, she’s Applejack’s,” answered Fluttershy. “She’s a wonderful herder, aren’t you, Winona?” 

Winona yipped in reply. She then finally caught sight of me and, leaving Fluttershy’s side, began sniffing me all around out of a sort of suspicious curiosity. I stood stiff as a board. Now, don’t get me wrong. I loved dogs, but I was also a little nervous around them, lest they prove to be over-exuberant or even biters. 

Finally, she finished her olfactory circumlocution, and I was pleased to see her tail wag as she looked up at me, a good sign that she trusted me. Thus encouraged, I knelt down and patted her head, which she really seemed to like.

“Good girl,” I said, with a smile, before a thought occurred to me. “Wait a second. If she’s here, then maybe there's a search party looking for us.”

“Goodness! Were we out that long?” asked Fluttershy. 

Winona, as if this reminded her of why she was out here, turned her head back toward the way she had come and barked into the open air. In answer, someone came bustling towards us, a lantern held out in front.

“Fluttershy! Dave! Thank Celestia ye’re all right! And yah found Scootaloo too!” 

The voice was familiar, though it was muffled somewhat. The reason became clearer as the lantern bearer got closer, showing that it was Applejack, the handle of the light held in her teeth. She looked immensely relieved to see us, but that was nothing to the relief I was feeling at seeing another friendly face. Applejack caught sight of Zecora and set her lantern down.

“Zecora! Did you find them? We really owe you one.”

“Not at all, Applejack, it was my pleasure, though fending off wolves is outside my leisure.” 

Applejack gaped.

“Wolves??” She turned to us. “Y’all were attacked by timber wolves?!”

“Well, I was,” I said, somewhat shamefaced. 

Her eyes strayed to the bandage across my forehead, and she winced. 

“No, no, don’t worry,” I put in, “that wasn’t from the wolves. I hit my head on a tree. Zecora helped me with it, though.”

Applejack shook her head, a grim look on her face.

"Sakes alive, Dave," she muttered. "Are all humans this gung-ho? The Everfree Forest is no place for a greenhorn to go wanderin' around in. Didn't anypony tell you that?" 

"Well, sure, but-"

"Do you have any idea how worried we all were, when you didn't come back?" Applejack cut in, sternly. "Pinkie's been cryin' her eyes out at the thought of you lost in here, with the storm ragin' and all. She was already in a tizzy when word got out that Scootaloo might be lost too. Why didn't you tell any of us you were goin' in? We would've rounded up a search party to find her in two shakes."

Though Applejack didn't shout, the palpable worry and disappointment in her tone took me aback. My feeling of triumph was slowly being replaced with a guilty feeling. Now that she mentioned it, the obvious thing to have done would have been to make a search party, instead of just me and Fluttershy by ourselves. Worse, Pinkie had been in tears over me? What kind of poor return was this for her gratitude?

I tried to account for myself, but the words just stuck in my throat. Scootaloo silently looked from me to Applejack. Fluttershy fidgeted nervously, then said,

"Applejack, Dave was only-"

"Ah know, Ah know," said Applejack, holding up a hoof to forestall her, as her features relaxed. "He was only lookin’ out for Scootaloo. Ah'm grateful you found her, and that yer all right. Celestia knows we wouldn't want to lose any of you." 

She reared up and gave Scootaloo a gentle nuzzle, which the little filly gladly reciprocated. She then motioned to Fluttershy, who drew closer, and then pulled all of us into a brief but firm hug, before settling back on all fours and addressing me again.

"Thanks for lookin' out for her, sugarcube. It really means a lot. Just promise you'll let us know before you do anything like that again, all right?”

“All right,” I said.

“Good. Now, let’s get a move on, y’all. Everypony else is waiting by Fluttershy’s cottage.” 

Thus encouraged, we set off, Applejack and Winona leading. Applejack turned back to look at me once or twice, probably to make sure nothing else happened to me as we went along, or that another timberwolf didn't sneak up on us. I still wasn't completely recovered, however, as my conscience was still smarting from how worried I'd made my new friends, and from the thought of Pinkie crying over me.


***


The storm had abated by the time we got out, and the sky was cloudy and dusky. We’d barely arrived at Fluttershy’s gate before a swarm of ponies overtook us, composed of Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Cheerilee, Apple Bloom, and Sweetie Belle. The last two mentioned instantly rushed to their fellow Crusader, enveloping her in a two-way hug, which Scootaloo reciprocated, all three happy to be back together. Scootaloo then received a warm embrace from Cheerilee, just going to prove what a wonderful teacher she was to her students.

Angel, Fluttershy’s rabbit, had hopped over to his master and stood, arms crossed, an angry look on his face, as if the only thing that mattered was that she was late to feed him or something! The nerve of that little furball! I would have loved to have given him a telling off (or even a swift kick), but then, all of a sudden, he hugged Fluttershy around her foreleg. Smiling tenderly, she leaned her head down and nuzzled him, whispering something to him.

I, for my part, was being fussed over by Rarity and Rainbow, in alternate degrees. Twilight was in deep conversation with Zecora.

“Darling, you’re an absolute mess!” fussed Rarity. “You poor, poor thing! That forest is no place for someone like you!”

“That was totally awesome!” said Rainbow. “Not many ponies have the nerve to go in there, especially during a storm! Of course,” she added, puffing her chest out, “I’d go in there any day of the week.” 

Rarity rolled her eyes.

“You would think like that, Rainbow Dash. Think of what poor Dave’s been through! He’s even been injured!"

“So? It shows he’s got guts! Sometimes it takes a scar or two to prove you’re tough! Besides, he did it for Scoot, and he got her back! That takes courage!” 

Rarity leaned in and whispered, confidentially,

“You should have seen her when she found out Scootaloo was missing. She was absolutely frantic. We had to hold her back from going into the forest herself, while the storm was raging.”

“And why shouldn’t I have?!” snapped Rainbow, startling both of us from not expecting her to have overheard. “Fluttershy went in, and she’s fine! I could have done way better!”

“I should think,” said Rarity, coldly, “that you would show a little more consideration for poor Fluttershy! In case you hadn’t noticed, it was no picnic for her, either!” 

Fluttershy, hearing her name mentioned and realizing it was part of an argument, ducked her head down, ears lowered.

“Yeah, but-” began Rainbow.

“Oh, give it a rest, Rainbow Dash,” said Twilight, coming up to us. 

Rainbow looked ready to retort, but gave up with a frustrated sigh. Twilight looked at me, with a disapproving expression. 

“Zecora told me everything, Dave: going off into the Everfree Forest like that, in the middle of a thunderstorm, and without warning anypony else. That was very reckless of you.” 

I sighed, ready for another speech, but Twilight actually smiled next. 

“But, I can’t say that without adding that it was also very brave of you. You have a warm heart to brave that kind of danger for Scootaloo.” 

Hearing this made me relax.

“I couldn’t leave her hanging like that," I said, "but I don’t know what to do now.”

“What do you mean?”

Making sure no one else was listening in, I took her to one side. Then, bending down, I lowered my voice so that only she could hear.

“She’s an orphan, Twi." 

Twilight looked shocked.

"How are you sure?" she asked.

"Cheerilee said that no parent or guardian has ever answered for her, so that's what the case looks like. I have no idea how she’s been getting by, but sooner or later, someone in the city council’s gonna find out and do something about it, and not in a good way.” 

Twilight still looked shocked, but she nodded resolutely all the same.

“She does deserve special consideration," she said, "especially after what she just went through.”

“I’ve been trying to mull it over on the way back, but right now, I can’t think of a pony who would be suited to look after her.”

“Don't worry," said Twilight. "We'll think of something." 

I looked about, but one pony, one whom I’d expected to see, was absent.

“Where’s Pinkie?”

“At the library,” said Twilight. “That’s where the search party assembled, but she was in no state to accompany us. Spike’s looking after her.” 

Well, that was one more dagger of guilt to stab me in the heart…

Twilight seemed to see my worry, as she put a comforting hoof on my hand.

“Tell you what. Let’s take Scootaloo back to the library. She can spend the night there, and maybe we can get her to tell us a few things about what happened, shed some light on the subject.”

“Even with Pinkie and Spike around?”

“Pinkie would keep a secret to the bitter end. As for Spike, I have full trust in him, even if he is bad at masking his affections for certain ponies.” 

She gave a wry glance towards Rarity, who was still arguing with Rainbow Dash, and I chuckled.

“All right, then. I’ll see if she’d be game for it.” 

I went over to Scootaloo, who was sitting among her friends, very subdued. She looked up as I approached.

“Scoot, Twilight offered to let you spend the night in the library. Is that all right with you?” 

As I expected, she looked very hesitant.

“Uh, well, see, I was gonna go-”

“Scootaloo.” 

She flinched at my frank tone. I kneeled down beside her, keeping my voice low. 

“Scootaloo, I know about your situation, and I’m very, truly sorry for you.” 

For a second, she looked as if she wanted to be mad for it being brought up, but her emotions seemed utterly exhausted at the moment. 

“I don't know exactly what you've been going through, but this can’t be ignored much longer, especially not after today,” I went on. “I want to help you, and in order to do that, we need the truth from you. Do you understand me, Scootaloo?” 

She looked from me to her friends, who both nodded encouragingly. She then looked back up at me.

“Why do you want to help me so badly, when I've only just met you?”

I had my answer ready right away, the answer that was one part of my resolve to go look for her in the first place.

“Because we’re Crusaders," I said. "We stick together no matter what.” 

Reaching into my pocket (not the one with the bits), I pulled out the Cutie Mark Crusaders neckerchief the girls had given me and tied it around my neck. I’d kept it on me for safe-keeping. Scootaloo looked up at me with a kind of wonder for a few moments, and then, as if a new resolve had filled her, she nodded.

“Ok,” she said, and she came over to stand by my side. "I trust you."

Before I got up, however, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle both hugged me around the neck.

“Thanks, for going in to help her,” said Sweetie Belle.

“We won't forget it,” said Apple Bloom.

“You’re welcome, girls,” I said, hugging them in return, feeling warm inside. 

At last, they returned to their sisters, and Scootaloo and I rejoined Twilight. Zecora was standing by, and I knew she probably had to return to the forest. I approached her and held out my hand.

“Thank you, Zecora. I’d have been dead if it weren’t for you.” 

Smiling warmly, she put her hoof in my hand, allowing me to shake it.

“You are welcome to see me whenever you like. I’d recommend in the morning, when the wolves won’t likely strike.” 

I gave a nervous chuckle at this reminder of my deadly escapade. In a much kinder tone, she said, 

“Take care, human Dave. You have wonderful friends. I have faith they will stick with you to the very end.” 

With these words, the wise zebra turned and strode back toward the Forest.

“Well,” said Rainbow Dash, stretching and yawning, “this has all been pretty exciting, but I think it’s time I headed home.” 

Seeing the cold looks everypony was giving her for her tactless statement, she flew over to me and, putting a hoof on my shoulder, said in a humbler tone, 

“But seriously, dude, I’m glad you’re ok. We wouldn’t have wanted to lose ya just yet.”

I smiled and patted her on the back.

“Thanks, Rainbow.” 

Then, she floated down to face Scootaloo.

“You all right now, squirt?”

“Y-Yeah, I’ll be ok,” said Scootaloo, in such a modest way that it contrasted strongly with the enthusiasm with which she had declared her admiration of the multicolored mare. 

With a kind, sisterly smile, Rainbow tousled her mane.

“Of course you will, kiddo. You're one tough cookie.” 

Scootaloo smiled up at her, then hugged the outstretched foreleg, drawing a few ‘aww’s from the crowd. Her cheeks blushing briefly, Rainbow waited until Scootaloo had let go, then faced Fluttershy. Angel, perhaps tired out from the night’s events, had fallen asleep at her hoof.

"Fluttershy...You were really brave, going in there to look for Scoot.” 

Fluttershy smiled, blushing in her own turn.

"Thank you, Rainbow Dash."

Rainbow smiled back, then, with a general good night to everypony present, she took off into the sky. Pretty soon, everypony else dispersed, save for Twilight and Cheerilee. The latter approached me.

“Dave, I can’t tell you how grateful I am for what you did tonight. These girls mean a lot to me, as a teacher. Thank you.”

“Aw, well. It was a really reckless thing for me to do, ma’am. People back home often tell me I do things without thought, but I was thinking of her the whole time.” 

Cheerilee smiled warmly, then turned to Scootaloo.

“Scootaloo.” 

The filly looked up, and Cheerilee bent down to whisper something, though I still barely caught it. 

“You have my word that nopony will hear about your situation from me.” 

Scootaloo smiled, gratefully.

“Thank you, Miss Cheerilee,”

“Good night, dear.” 

With that, Cheerilee took her leave as well. That left only myself, Twilight, and Scootaloo. Fluttershy had taken Angel back inside with her.

“Well, shall we?” asked Twilight.

“Let’s,” I said.

“Wait!” said Scootaloo. 

We watched her run back toward the forest, but my unease at seeing her do so was alleviated at the sight of her dragging a small wooden scooter back with her. 

“Can’t forget this,” she said, apologetically, wiping a stray leaf from its surface. 

With that out of the way, the three of us turned our direction back toward Ponyville, leaving the Everfree Forest at our backs.
> Scootaloo's Tale
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

A light was still burning in one of the library windows on the ground floor by the time we returned to Ponyville. There were still ponies out on the streets, but we were thankfully left to ourselves. 

Upon our arrival, Twilight knocked at the door, and in a few moments, Spike answered it, a candle in his hand. He looked much relieved to see me and Scootaloo safe and sound. There were tired circles under his youthful eyes.

“How’s Pinkie?” Twilight asked.

“Pretty bad,” the dragon answered. “She hasn’t said a word, and she’s been crying. It’s almost just like last time…”

*Stab* Another dagger of guilt…

…Wait, ‘last time’? What did Spike mean by that?

“Well, this should be a welcome surprise for her, then,” said Twilight, bracingly. 

Spike led us inside, where a dismal sight greeted my eyes.

Pinkie was sitting alone on the sofa in the middle of the library. Her eyes were closed, and a thin trickle of tears was running down her cheeks, forming a puddle on the floor. As heart-wrenching as that was to look at, that wasn’t what unsettled me. It was her mane. 

Ever since I’d met her and gotten to know her a little better, I’d been under the impression that the frizzy, poofy mess of a mane was just her natural style. Now, however, her mane, while still the same shade of dark pink, looked limp and lank, like a deflated balloon. Her tail looked much the same way. Honestly, if it hadn’t been for the miserable expression on her face, I would have said that that style was quite cute on her.

“What happened to her mane?” I whispered.

“This happened once before, when she was really depressed,” Spike whispered back. “Her whole mane went all limp.”

*Stab*... I wanted to rush over and hug her, but something compelled me to stay where I was.

“Pinkie,” Spike softly called. 

She didn’t respond.

“Pinkie,” Spike tried again, “someone’s here to see you.” 

At last, Pinkie looked up, her eyes reddened from crying. She turned to look at us, and those eyes widened upon spying me.

“…Davie?” she asked, in such a small, pathetic voice that it drove tears to my eyes.

“Pinkie…” 

She got down from her seat and sat on the floor, staring at me as if I were a ghost. Nothing was holding me back now. I rushed over to her, collapsing to my knees, and embraced her close to me. 

I felt like an unworthy son, a disrespectful rascal who had kept his parents worried sick with his selfish escapades, just to come home to see what he’d done to them, and was now begging their forgiveness with tears more than words. How could I not have taken Pinkie’s feelings on the matter into account? Even the most logical of senses would have dictated that she would have been concerned that I’d gone into a place taboo to Ponyville culture, and I’d ignored that, out of a sense of heroism. I’d only thought of Scootaloo, and while that justified why I would do something so careless, I also should have had the considerations of my friends in mind, like Applejack had, albeit quietly, berated me for not doing. I should have told them beforehand...

Pinkie remained stock-still, as if shell-shocked, but slowly, I felt her hooves work up and around me in a hug of her own.

“Is it really you?" she asked.

“Of course it’s me, Pinkie,” I said, in a choked voice, “of course it’s me…”

“Oh, Davie…” Pinkie whimpered, hugging me even tighter. “Davie, I thought I’d lost you. I thought you might have…”

“No, no, Pinkie. I’d never do that to you. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you like that. I should have told you what I was doing. Oh, Pinkie, can you ever forgive me for being such a reckless doofus?” 

She pulled away from me enough for me to gaze into her eyes. Though raw and red from crying, there was still that gentle blue in them. A small smile was on her face.

“I already have,” she said. 

She leaned up and kissed me softly on my bandaged wound, like a mother kissing her child’s boo-boo. 

Oh, bless you, dear Pinkie Pie. Bless you…

I just held her in my arms as she softly lay against my chest, like one being comforted after a horrible dream. That’s what this whole experience seemed like: one big horrible nightmare that was now being washed away with the knowledge that someone you cared about was there to reassure you. No one interrupted us, and rightly so, as I would have wanted nothing to ruin this moment.

Finally, both of us feeling much better, we turned to face the others. Twilight had a warm smile on her face, her eyes glistening as if tears were at the edge of them. Spike, though previously determined to prove he was above such sentiments, was honking away at a handkerchief. Scootaloo’s expression, however, was indeterminable. I couldn’t rightly guess what might have been going on in her head at that moment, thought she seemed to have been profoundly affected. 

She had little time to keep such an expression, however, as it was her turn to receive a Pinkie hug, scooped up into the older mare’s forelegs as if she had been her aunt. She made no objections, but just gave a sort of frustrated sigh, as if the part of her more tomboyish nature that objected to public displays of affection had been called into play.

“Pinkie,” I said, calling my friend’s attention back, “we need to ask something very important of you.” 

Pinkie, seeming to understand what this meant, released Scootaloo and sat at attention. Now that her misery had abated by this point, I could say without hesitation that she did look nice with her mane down.

“I’m not sure if you realized it or not, but Scootaloo’s…Well, she has no home, so to speak.”

“Oh. That’s awful…” Pinkie said, sympathetically. 

She looked at the little filly, who kept her eyes averted.

“I agree," I said. "She’s agreed to let us help dig her out of this hole she’s ended up in-” 

Here Pinkie gazed around the floor, as if expecting to find some actual hole under Scootaloo’s hooves. I waited patiently until she’d ceased searching, then proceeded, 

“-but under the condition that the knowledge that she's an orphan remains between us. Am I clear?

She nodded. However, I pointed a finger at her and said, in a serious tone,

“Do I have it as your word, as a Pinkie Promise, that what we’re about to hear won’t pass from your lips onto anyone else outside of this private council, unless permitted?” 

Pinkie regarded me for a few moments in silence, something like awe on her face. Perhaps this was because she hadn't expected me to become so well-versed in the arts of promise keeping, or to take it so seriously. Whatever the case, she nodded and went through the signs customary to making a Pinkie Promise complete and valid.

“Well, that’s settled, then,” I said. Then I turned to Spike. “Spike, this means you, too.” 

Spike looked at Twilight, as if uncertain of where this was leading, but she merely nodded to him, and so he in turn crossed his heart and placed one clawed hand over one eye. Now that that was settled with, I turned to Scootaloo.

“Do you feel well enough for us to ask you some questions, Scoot?”

“Yeah," said Scootaloo, after a pause.

“All right, then," said Twilight. "Everyone, let’s take a seat.”

Using her magic, she pulled an armchair over to sit at an angle to the couch. Here she said I could sit, so as to be more comfortable, but placed a towel on it nonetheless, since I was still dirty from being in the forest. As I sat down, to my wonder, Scootaloo walked over to me and, with momentary assistance from her little wings, hauled herself up into my lap. I regarded her questioningly for this action, as I expected her to be more suited among Twilight and Pinkie, but she only gave me a weak smile.

Twilight, Pinkie, and Spike, meanwhile, made themselves comfortable on the couch. Looking up momentarily made me aware of Owlowiscious’ presence as well, but as soon as my eyes fell on him, to my perplexity, he went through the Pinkie Promise signs with his wings. Dumbfounded, I looked from him to Twilight, who only looked at me in mild curiosity. Had she taught him that?

Shaking my head, I looked down at the little filly.

“Scoot, before we start, I wanna ask you point-blank: is it because of what I said that made you go into the forest?” 

Scootaloo looked surprised.

“What? Why would you think that?”

“Well, I kind of made you angry the day before you went in, so I was worried that-”

“No, no, no!” Scootaloo insisted, gazing imploringly up at me. “I did get kind of peeved, but that's not why I went in.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I'm sorry if I made you feel that way.”

She looked up at me with those innocent purple eyes, melting my heart anew.

“Aw, Scoot,” I muttered, petting her mane. “It’s all right. It was just a stupid worry. I fret about stuff like that all the time. People back home call me a worrywart because of it.” 

At last, Scootaloo relaxed again and sat on her haunches on my lap, looking up at me.

“So, I guess we ought to start from the beginning,” I said. 

She nodded sadly, then, with everyone present listening attentively, she commenced.


***


“I only remember a little about my mom. She passed away when I was really young. I remembered how she looked, though. She was a pegasus, pretty but also kind of sad. When she died, Dad became moody, and he started drinking. He'd always been kind of a rough pony, but it was a lot worse now. When he was really low, he’d start raving and blaming me for Mom dying. He said she’d always been sickly, and that I only made her die faster. ‘It’s all your fault, runt! It’s all your fault!’ That's what he'd say…”

The dirty scoundrel…and she was only a child! What sick mind forces the blame onto an innocent, unoffending little kid?! If I’d had the honor of knowing that booz wretch, I’d have introduced his face to my fist…At least, I would have liked to, had it been in my nature.

Scootaloo had paused, this abominable memory bringing her into a deeper melancholy. I stroked her mane gently, soothing her, until she was calm enough again to proceed.

“I didn’t have any other relatives, so I didn’t have anyone to save me from Dad. I just had to bear it out for as long as I could. He never taught me to fly, mostly because he was either too drunk or too lazy, or he just didn’t care about me at all. I hated what he’d become, but there was nothing I could do about it…

“Finally, when I was old enough to attend school, I wanted to attend a flight academy, to improve my chances of flying, but Dad had other ideas. He sold our cloud home and moved down to an old shack just outside of Ponyville…”

“But why-” I began.

“When I asked him, all he said was that Cloudsdale had ‘too many bad memories’, and he expected that to be good enough for me, but it wasn’t. Still, at least I have him to thank for my scooter.”

“Your scooter?”

“Even if Dad wouldn’t teach me to fly, that didn’t mean my wings were completely useless. One year, for my birthday, either to be ironic or because he wasn’t so drunk at the time, he bought it for me. That scooter was my one escape from home, my one vent to my frustrations. I took to riding it outside the house when he was asleep, since I could use my wings to at least propel it.

“Then, all of a sudden, he acted like he’d gotten a change of heart. He enrolled me in Cheerilee's class, and said he would ‘make a genius’ out of me if I couldn’t be a flier. Besides the scooter, it was the nicest thing he’d ever done, because that’s how I met my friends, and being with them made me forget about my troubles at home.” 

The shadow of a smile appeared on her face in remembering her dear friends. I could see I was right in recognizing the close bond between the three of them.

“But Cheerilee said she didn’t know you had any guardians," I said. "How could that be if your father enrolled you?”

“He didn’t use his name or appear in person. He just put me at the door with my papers.” 

“That lazy son of a-” 

But thankfully, I stopped myself before I could finish it.

Here, Scootaloo became very solemn, as if on the threshold of an important revelation.

“Then, one day, when I came home from riding my scooter, he wasn’t there, even though he’d only gone out that morning. I’d been used to him going out and not being around for hours, but never for a whole day. I didn’t bother about it, until the next morning, when he still hadn’t come back. I went out to look for him, and I found him…He was face-down in a river, and he wasn't moving.” 

A small gasp ran through Scootaloo’s audience. That had to have been an absolutely horrible sight for such a little kid… 

“I’d never felt that close to him before, but realizing he wasn’t coming back still hurt me badly. Now both of my parents were gone. I was all alone…” 

Her eyes began to grow wet again. Feeling a pang of sympathy, I gently stroked Scootaloo’s mane again. 

“I was too scared to know what to do at first. All I could think of was that I had to get away. I took all of my possessions and my scooter and went off to fend for myself. Thankfully, we’d recently gotten our Cutie Mark Crusaders clubhouse, and Apple Bloom had newly refurbished it-”

“Whoa-whoa, wait!” I interrupted, dumbfounded. “Did you say…Apple Bloom refurbished your clubhouse?”

“Yeah. She did a really sweet job, too: repainted it, sanded it down to avoid splinters, patched up the roof, fixed the windows. Why?”

For a few moments, I was unable to speak. Apple Bloom had a knack for remodeling and fixing architecture, and she still didn’t have her cutie mark? What were these kids missing??…

“Nothing. Go ahead.”

“Well, anyway, I was able to keep my stuff hidden in a secret compartment that only I knew about. I knew I had to figure out some way to get food and keep clean, so I got myself a paper route to make myself some bits, which was a cinch since I had my scooter. It was in the morning, too, so nopony that knew me well enough could get suspicious of me. So, up until now, I’ve been able to live pretty well. It’s not perfect, but I at least get by.”

Wow. I'd heard stories of orphans roughing it and getting by on their own wits and resourcefulness, but this just seemed to beat all. Everyone else looked just as amazed.

"Well," I said, after a pause, "then that brings us to our next important question. What really prompted you to go into the Everfree Forest?”

Scootaloo's expression became, if possible, even gloomier.

“Well…Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon have always had a thing for getting under everypony’s skin. Well, more Diamond Tiara, really. Silver Spoon isn’t as rude as she used to be, but that doesn’t change the fact that she still goes around with her. Anyway, on my way back ‘home’ the day I met you, I ran into Diamond Tiara. She said she’d heard a rumor that I didn’t even have a home, that she’d never even seen me with my mom or dad. I told her to shut up about them, but that just made her nastier. She tried to make me feel bad for having nopony to care about me, and I told her I didn’t need anypony, that I could take care of myself. She dared me to prove it, and when I couldn’t think of anything, she just walked off, calling me a ‘blank flank loser loner’. 

"I got so mad that I didn’t even know where I was riding, and I found I’d taken the wrong way and was outside the entrance to the forest. Diamond Tiara’s voice was still ringing in my head, so I decided to prove I wasn’t a loser loner once and for all. I dumped my scooter near the entrance and went in, aiming to go as far as I could before finally turning back. After a while, though, everything started to look the same, and I had no idea where I was. I got really scared and hid inside a log until tonight. The storm scared me out, but then I realized I was near Zecora’s hut, where I found you and Fluttershy.”

She’d hidden in a log in the forest for two whole days?! The poor thing must have been starving!

As if she sensed what this implied, Twilight looked at Spike, who nodded and went into the kitchen.

“Well, Scoot,” I said, finally, “I have to say, you’ve had a…tumultuous life.”

“Don’t I know it…” 

“There’s just one thing I don’t get. When your dad died, why didn’t you seek someone for help? What about the mayor, or a judge? One of them would have gotten you situated better than in a clubhouse.”

“I did think of that at the time, but they would’ve just put me in an orphanage, since I had nowhere else to go, no other family to take me in. I didn’t want to go there.”

“Well, I can understand why. I don't like the prospect of an orphanage, either, but there’s no denying that you would still have had shelter, a roof over your head, 3 meals a day, a warm bed-”

“And no chance of leaving!” Scootaloo snapped, suddenly, catching me by surprise. “It’s not just because I’d have had less of a chance of being with my best friends, but also because I’d have been a lifer! Who would’ve wanted to adopt me?! Who would want a filly who hasn’t even grown into her wings yet, who hasn’t even gotten her cutie mark, who her own dad gave up on?! I couldn’t take that kind of rejection again! I just…I just couldn’t…” 

Her tiny frame wracked with sobs, as bitter tears ran down her cheeks.

“Scootaloo…” 

More and more, I was feeling like the biggest jerk in the world for bringing all of this out into the open. She buried her face into my chest, where she sobbed and hiccupped alternatively. Finally, she calmed down enough to listen to what I had to say.

“Listen to me, Scootaloo. Your father was wrong from Square 1.” 

She looked up at me in some surprise. 

“I don’t intend to believe for one instant that you had anything to do with your mother passing away, or that you’re one ounce the failure your father claimed you are. You’re a strong, good-hearted filly. You’ve proven just how resilient and dedicated you are just by making it this far. Children far less willful than you would have given up long ago. You’ve had it rough all your life, and I would never wish something like that upon anyone, but I can tell you one thing for sure, Scootaloo. You’re never truly alone. You have your friends, who will always be there for you. We're going to help you get through this. I promise.”

Wordlessly, she gazed up at me, tears still rimming her eyes. At last, she collapsed against me, crying quietly, and I just held her in my arms. Through her crying, I was able to discern one phrase, quietly spoken:

“…Thank you…”

At that moment, Spike poked his head in through the kitchen door.

“I’ve got some soup and sandwiches started,” he said.

“Thanks, Spike,” said Twilight. 

She turned a questioning look to me, and I, nodding, carried Scootaloo with me into the kitchen, Twilight and Pinkie following.
> My Best Pony Pal, Pinkie Pie
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Spike had prepared daisy sandwiches (plus some cheese sandwiches for me) and tomato soup. Scootaloo ate with a voracity the likes of which I’d only seen in Pinkie devouring her food at the Apple family brunch. Speaking of the pink pony, it seemed that, even though her wave of melancholy had passed, she still was somewhat subdued and ate slowly like the rest of us. None of us spoke throughout the meal, as none of us wanted to interrupt poor little Scootaloo filling up after two whole days alone in the forest. No one had ever mentioned to me whether or not anything edible grew in there. Zecora had mentioned her herbs, but I doubted those were anything pleasant to ingest.

Finally, the little filly had eaten her fill of several sandwiches and two whole bowls of soup, and sat back in her chair, a contented look on her face and both hooves on her full tummy. It was good to finally see her in better spirits, after such a disastrous experience. She let out a loud, unrestrained yawn, which Twilight regarded with a soft giggle.

“I think somepony’s ready for bed,” she said. “But first I think we need to give you a bath, young lady.”

Scootaloo offered no resistance, and allowed Twilight to telekinetically lift her onto her back. There was a ‘thud’, and we looked to see that Spike had dropped off as well, face-first into the table. Small wonder, too, as the little guy had been up pretty late for someone his age. Twilight smilingly rolled her eyes and plopped him onto her back as well.

“Good night, Scoot,” I said. 

Scootaloo looked up with one sleepy eye at me, and that little smile was back on her face.

“Good night, Dave,” she said, before nodding off where she was.

Her magic still in place, so as to keep her and Spike from falling off, Twilight softly carried them upstairs, leaving me with Pinkie, who still remained silent, and didn’t even look at me. 

A sort of uneasiness crept over me, and I couldn’t help but wonder if, despite being glad I was back, she wasn’t also angry at me for what I did. She had every right to be so, but it still was disquieting to think about. However, there wasn’t anger on her face, but a sort of preoccupation, as if all of her thoughts were concentrated elsewhere. Once or twice, she glanced at me, but those were the only times. Otherwise, she remained silent.

At last, I cleared my throat, and she glanced up.

“Pinkie, I need to stick around to ask Twilight something, but you don’t have to wait. You can head back to Sugarcube Corner if you want.” 

She hesitated, then I added, as a joke, 

“Relax, it’s not like I’ll be attacked by bandits on the street or something. You won’t lose me twice in one day.” 

She couldn’t help it: she gave a slight laugh and actually smiled. That alone buoyed my spirits considerably.

“Ok, Davie,” she said, quietly. 

She got up from her chair and started making her way out. 

“Say good night to Twilight for me.”

“I will.” 

The front door closed softly behind her, and I was left to myself to wait for Twilight to return. 

She was gone for about 15 or 20 minutes, and I was about ready to nod off when I heard her hoof steps on the stairs. I got up from the table and went to greet her.

“How are they?”

“Sleeping like babies,” she said. “I got Scootaloo all cleaned up and put her in my spare bed. She looks so peaceful now.”

“That’s good to hear.”

“That was a very sweet thing you said to her, by the way.”

“I meant every word of it, Twi. It burns me up to hear about perfectly innocent little kids, or anyone unoffending, for that matter, being abused and oppressed by those who don’t recognize their innocence.” 

Twilight nodded, in a way that voiced regret that such people, or, in this case, ponies, exist.

“Listen, Twi?” I said, after a pause.

“Hm?”

“I was thinking, about our interview tomorrow-” 

But here she raised a hoof to quiet me.

“I’ve already made a mental note to postpone it. Scootaloo’s situation is much more important at this point.”

“You’re the best, Twi,” I said, admiringly, making her smile. “Does Lyra know?”

“No. She doesn’t even know she’s been invited. I was going to leave that to you.”

“That’s fine with me. I’m sure she’ll love it, hearing it from me.” 

Twilight giggled.

“You’d better go get some sleep, Dave. You’ve had quite a day.”

“Yeah, no kidding. Good night, Twilight, and thanks.”

Still smiling, she gave me a warm nuzzle on the cheek as I put an arm around her in a quick hug. With that, I took my leave of the lovable librarian and her little charge upstairs. 

(Sleep well, Scootaloo. Tomorrow, we start building your future.)


***


I hadn't noticed it until then, but walking back to Sugarcube Corner, I remembered (or at least, my body did) how utterly tired I was, and my limbs felt sore and heavy, even though the distance was short. The lights were still on, and I reflected that I didn’t even know what time it was. Glancing at my watch, I saw that it was quarter to 10, though I could have sworn it had been later. 

Gingerly, I opened the front door, but no sooner did I do so than Mr. and Mrs. Cake were right in my face, dressed in bath robes and, in Mrs. Cake’s case, hair curlers.

“Dave! Oh, thank Celestia!” cried Mr. Cake.

“When we heard what happened, we just didn’t know what to think!” fretted Mrs. Cake.

“Absolutely frantic!”

“You’re wounded, too! Oh, no wonder Pinkie was so miserable, poor dear!”

“It’s all right, it’s all right,” I said, holding my hands up in a placating way, feeling an extra couple guilt daggers hitting my heart at their worry. “I’m sorry I scared everypony. I wish I’d put more thought into what everyone else was going to think by going in like that.” 

Seeing the contrition on my face seemed to soften them up a little.

“It’s all right, dearie,” said Mrs. Cake, gently. “You gave us all a scare, yes, but we know you didn’t mean to.”

“Pinkie took it so hard, though,” said Mr. Cake, “almost like she thought it was her fault.”

*Stab*…My heart was turning into a metaphysical pin cushion…

“I’ll talk to her about it. She had nothing to do with my decision, so there’s no reason for her feeling that way.” 

The couple nodded.

“Oh! By the way,” said Mrs. Cake, “Rarity came by with something for you while you were away, before news of your little escapade got out. We put it on your bed for you.” 

Probably another change of clothes. She was making really good progress.

“Thanks, Mrs. Cake. I’ll see you both tomorrow.” 

They nodded again and smiled parentally at me as I went upstairs. This was feeling like one huge conga line of strikes to my guilty conscience for all the ponies I’d worried, but as long as all was forgiven, the hurts would heal eventually.


***


Pinkie was inside when I went into the bedroom, but she hadn’t gone to sleep. She was lying on her bed, with her back to me, her mane still droopy. As I crossed over to my bed, I felt something latch onto my leg, and looking down, I found Gummy clinging to me and gazing up at me with those big purple eyes, like an affectionate cat.

“Hey, little fella,” I said, softly, kneeling down to stroke his scaly back. “Guess you must have been worried too, huh?” 

Gummy’s little tail twitched in response. 

“I’m sorry, Gummy. It won’t happen again.” 

Thus reassured, Gummy let go and scampered off to his own little basket. Pinkie must have heard me talking to her little gator, as I saw her ears perk out of the corner of my eye, but she made no other movements.

On my bed sat a pile of navy-blue material, soft to the touch. Upon picking it up, I saw it was a pair of pajamas pants and a pajama shirt. Attached to the shirt was a note, written very elegantly:

‘Dave, I wrote this out in case you were not around when I arrived. I figured it must not be too pleasant having to wear your day clothes to bed, so I made you this pair of pajamas. Blue suits you so well, darling.

Sleep well!

Best wishes,

Rarity

PS: Thank you ever so much for the flowers! Daffodils are my absolute favorite!’

I couldn’t help but smile at her considerate thinking. These were perfect! Gathering them up, I went down to the bathroom, where the first thing I did was take a good, long shower. It was just what the doctor ordered, with all the aches, pains, and grime from being in the forest being washed away every second.

After that, I very gladly changed into my new pajamas, marveling at how cozy the material was. Then, taking my dirty clothes down to the laundry room to be cleaned tomorrow, I headed back upstairs into Pinkie’s room. Her position still hadn’t changed. I sat on the edge of my bed and, after taking off my watch and glasses, said,

“Pinkie, you don’t have to look at me, but I just need you to listen. I know you probably blame yourself for what happened to me, but take that idea out of your head, please. You had nothing to do with my actions. I don't want to see someone completely devoid of fault in this scenario take the blame. Scootaloo's already had enough of that. I don’t find any fault with you at all, Pinkie. You’re my best friend. I could never be mad at you. That’s all I wanted to say. Good night, Pinkie.”

With that, I got into bed, pulling the covers over me, and clicked off the light. I’d barely lain down, however, before I felt my bed shift on the other side and then a warm grip close around me. Looking down, I discovered Pinkie, who had come up onto my bed, under the covers, and was hugging me close. Remembering how I’d been reluctant to her being in the same bed with me before, but also realizing how she’d had a miserable day today, I didn’t resist. Instead, I wormed one arm free and put it around her, drawing her close.

“I was just super-duper scared for you," she said, "but that was very brave of you to want to save Scootaloo.”

“The way that poor kid’s life has gone, I’d have wasted even less time if I knew the whole truth beforehand.” 

Pinkie said nothing, but just dug her way in closer to me, her cheek against my chest. 

“Pinkie? Can I be frank with you?”

“Frank with me? Don’t you want to be Dave with me?” 

I couldn’t help chuckling.

“Now there’s the Pinkie I remember. What I meant was, can I be honest with you?”

“Of course, silly.”

“You look nice with your mane down.” 

Even if I couldn’t see Pinkie’s face, I could feel her body grow warmer, so I knew she must have been blushing.

“Do I, really?”

“Yeah. It’s a cute look on you.” 

She inched her way up to give me a thankful nuzzle on the cheek.

“I can’t keep it very well, though,” she admitted. “Ever since I got my cutie mark, it’s always been in a Pinkie Frizzle, at least when I’m super-happy.”

“Pinkie Frizzle? That’s what you call it?”

“I was gonna call it the Pinkie Poof, but I like the word ‘frizzle’ better.”

“Heh. Good point." In a more sober tone, I said, "Spike told me that this happened before. You don’t have to tell me about it if you don’t want to.”

Pinkie was silent for a little while, then said, quietly,

“I did a stupid thing a long while ago.”

“People do stupid things all the time, Pinkie. I’m sure this wasn’t-”

“I doubted my friends.”

Oh...

"Doubted them? What do you mean?"

“I thought they didn’t want to be my friends anymore. I thought they were avoiding me because they didn’t like me. I assumed the worst, when I should have known them better.”

Wow...I had no idea.

“Pinkie, it was an honest mistake, I’m sure," I said, comfortingly. "We all need to learn from mistakes in order to grow.”

“Yeah," said Pinkie. "It’s not the growing or the learning that I mind, but the mistakes.”

“Tell me about it,” I muttered.

We were silent for a while, and I thought Pinkie might have gone to sleep. Evidently, she thought I’d gone to sleep too, as she asked,

“Davie? Are you still awake?”

“Yeah. Hard to fall asleep with my mind so abuzz. And no,” I added, quickly, “that doesn’t mean there’s a bee in my head.” 

She giggled.

“You knew I was gonna ask, you silly-billy,” she said. 

It was such a relief to hear her sounding at least a little more cheerful again. Then, however, her tone became solemn again.

“When Scootaloo was talking about her dad, it reminded me of my own family. Not the family I have here with the Cakes, but my real family.”

“The rock farmer Pies?”

“Yeah. After I got my cutie mark, we went back to rock farming. At first, it wasn’t so bad, because now we were all smiling, laughing, and joking as we worked. It made me so happy to see Mom, Dad, Grammy, Marble, Limestone, and Maud happy too.”

“Marble, Limestone, and Maud? Were those your sisters?”

“Yeah. But after a while, I began to feel like the farm just wasn’t enough for me. If it was my destiny to make ponies laugh and smile, I needed to be out there to make it happen. I left to live in Ponyville when I was still a filly, and I came to Mr. and Mrs. Cake as an apprentice. Since then, they’ve been just like second parents to me. I never forgot about my real family, but it's been so long since I've visited the farm. I wrote to them sometimes, but I haven't for a long while now. I don't know how they've been getting on without me there. I feel so ungrateful to them…”

“Pinkie…” 

I hugged her close to me, praying that she wouldn’t start cryng. 

“It’s never too late to make reparations,” I said.

“Are you sure? My sisters and Grammy might understand, but Mom and Dad…How do I know they're not mad at me for leaving?”

“Pinkie, stop it,” I said, a bit sterner than I’d wanted to. “You’re being ridiculous. I should know; I have a record of thinking the most ridiculous of possibilities. You, Pinkamena Pie, are their daughter. They'll love you no matter what. You threw your very first party for them, when you were only a filly. Of course they’re not just gonna cast you away like that. You've obviously never forgotten about them, even in your time being separated from them. Just send them a letter, see how they’ve been, give them a summary of all that you’ve seen and done. I’m sure they’d love to know. What I’m saying, Pinkie, is…whatever time or distance separates you, they’re still your family.”

What was wrong with me? What conjuring of mind and nature instilled this fund of preachy wisdom in my brain and heart? This was the kind of thing that was saved for emotional moments in movies or books. I didn’t think it was truly possible in human nature. Well, I don’t see why I should be complaining. It was working wonders so far.

“Thanks, Davie,” said Pinkie, quietly, sounding as though she were nodding off to sleep.

This was confirmed, as I next heard her breathing, softly and peacefully. In the dim moonlight, I could just see her face, and was relieved and heartened to see a little smile on it. Leaning down, I gave my little pink sweetheart of a friend a small kiss on the forehead.

“Good night, Pinkie,” I whispered, and then, laying back on my pillow, with the worries and craziness that had befallen me all that day washing away into the night, I finally drifted off as well.

> How to Find a Mommy
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

What a profound change a good night’s sleep had on a person (or, in this case, a pony). I awoke and came down to breakfast to find Pinkie her usual cheerful self once again, her mane and tail back into their old ‘Pinkie Frizzle’.

“Good morning, Davie!” she greeted, flipping hotcakes onto my plate.

“Morning, Pinkie. Sleep well?”

“Yep! You’re not gonna believe the dream I had last night!”

“Do tell.”

“I dreamed I was in a boating race from one end of the Ponyville lake to the other, but the lake water had been replaced with chocolate syrup!”

“…Chocolate syrup?”

“Yeah! Luckily, the boats we were using were giant bananas, and our oars were peppermint sticks! It was a narrow (and delicious) race!”

“I can imagine,” I said, grinning. “Do all of your dreams involve sweets?”

“No, not all of them. Sometimes I dream about Gummy, sometimes I dream about the girls, sometimes I dream about the Cakes…” 

Suddenly, she stopped, seemed to consider for a moment, then gasped. 

“Davie! You’ve never been in one of my dreams yet! You could be missing out!” 

She acted like this was a sign of the end of the world or something.

“Relax, Pinkie,” I said. “There’s plenty of time for that.”

“You’re right!” she said, perking back up again. “Thanks, Davie.”

It really warmed my heart to see her back to her normal self once again, but I also hoped that this change in her demeanor didn’t affect her promise to keep Scootaloo’s secret confidential. After all, she was acting as if yesterday had never happened at all, like she was trying to avoid it. I certainly would have liked to avoid it (well, only the part about being lost in the forest and making everypony worry), but I had to be sure she didn’t forget our mission.

Therefore, after breakfast, I took her aside to ask her point-blank.

“I’m really glad to see that big smile back on your face, Pinkie, but there’s something serious I need to ask you.”

“Yes, Davie?”

“You haven’t forgotten our agreement last night?” 

Her smile immediately faded, but I could see it wasn’t from being caught off-guard or even from having last night brought up again, but from the more serious nature of the question.

“About Scootaloo?” she asked.

“Right.”

“Not for a second. I Pinkie Promised, and a wild manticore wouldn’t make me break it.”

“Great. I knew I could rely on you,” I said, ruffling her mane, which brought the smile back to her face. “I’m gonna be out and about today, Pinkie.”

“What for?”

“I need to mentally narrow down who would make the best guardian for Scootaloo. At the least, I’d like to have a talk with Rainbow Dash about it, since she’s Scootaloo’s idol, and she might know some pegasi in Cloudsdale who might prove worthy of raising her, but I have no idea where to find her. I can’t exactly fly, you know.”

“I know you can’t fly, silly. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have tumbled through the clouds when I found you!”

“Yeah, I realize that,” I said, dryly.

“Leave this to me, then,” said Pinkie. “I always know where to find Dashie.”

“But you can’t fly, either.”

“Oh, don’t you go worrying your head about that. Your Auntie Pinkie Pie’s got it all taken care of!”

“…I’m pretty sure you’re not that much older than me, if you even are older than me.” 

Just how did pony age work in Equestria? In any case, Pinkie acted as if I’d never responded to her statement.

“One question, Davie. Is it ok if I tell her?”

“Yes. I grant you full permission to invite her into our private confidence. We can trust her, as the Element of Loyalty, after all. That’s your mission, 'Private Pie'. Do me proud!”

“Yes, sir!” said Pinkie, giving me a salute. 

With that, she bounced off on her way, leaving me to my own thoughts.


***


It really was quite a conundrum. Scootaloo ought to be taken in by somepony who was not only a capable caregiver, but could also teach her how to fly, something she must need desperately. Who did I know that could possess both of those qualities? 

As it stood, I’d made a mental checklist of ponies I knew already, and some pros and cons to go with them. I reflected upon them as I made my way to a nearby park, seating myself on a bench.

Pinkie Pie.

Pros: Good with kids, knows how to make ponies happy.

Cons: Not a pegasus, might not be mature enough to take on parental responsibilities.

Rarity.

Pros: Sister is best friends with Scootaloo, mature and responsible

Cons: Not a pegasus, work might keep her too busy

Applejack.

Pros: Sister is best friends with Scootaloo, treats everypony like family.

Cons: Not a pegasus, work might keep her too busy

Twilight Sparkle.

Pros: Has experience with kids (Spike), wise beyond her years.

Cons: Not a pegasus, might interfere with her studies.

Fluttershy.

Pros: Pegasus, natural mother’s instinct.

Cons: Might already be swamped with so many animals

Rainbow Dash.

Pros: Scootaloo’s idol, acts like a sister towards her

Cons: Might not be ready for that commitment.

To that last, I couldn’t say that for sure until I’d talked to her. Only time could tell at this point.

As I was thus engrossed in my mental preoccupations, a shadow fell over me, and an all-too familiar voice pervaded my ears.

“Well, isn't this a small world?"

Looking up, with a dreading heart, I beheld none other than Ironmane, the pony that had confronted me two days prior. What he was doing here still, I couldn’t guess.

“Minister Ironmane,” I said, stiffly. “What a surprise.”

I didn’t say that it was a delightful surprise, a pleasant surprise, or even a welcome one. He deserved none of that. Thankfully, this omission passed right over him.

“How interesting that I should find you here, human,” he said.

“Is it illegal for me to sit in a public park?” I asked, masking my annoyance at his refusal to use my name.

“Certainly not, but it is curious that I should meet you again so soon. I wished to have a word with you.”

He was speaking civilly enough, which was a welcome change from his suspicious questions, but there was an oiliness to his voice that I didn’t enjoy. It suited him far less.

“Go on,” I said.

“Your doings yesterday proved rather…interesting.”

“And just what do you know of my doings?” I asked, sharply. “Is there something you haven’t been telling me, Minister?”

“My good human,” he went on, composedly, “I am the Minister of Foreign Affairs. It is my duty to regularly check in and see how you are faring, to ensure that you are doing nothing that may prove treasonous or dangerous towards Her Majesty.”

“In other words, you’ve made it your job to spy on me,” I responded, coldly.

“Sir,” he said, unaffected, “‘spy’ is such a dirty word. I am merely performing reconnaissance, reconnoitering.”

“You can fancy it up however you want,” I replied, having none of that, “but I call it spying.”

“Call it what you will, then,” he said, with a sigh. “Regardless, word of your escapade yesterday reached my ears. Is it not true, therefore, that you journeyed into the Everfree Forest, risking not only your life, but that of the young mare who accompanied you, all for the sake of a little filly?”

“And so what?!” I snapped, looking him straight in the eye. “Are you suggesting that I should have left her there to die, Minister?!”

“My dear human,” said Ironmane, calmly, “I would never wish such on anypony. You needn’t form such assumptions.” 

He was right. I was way out of line.

“My apologies, sir,” I said, humbly.

“It is of no consequence,” he said. “As I was saying, your endeavor was, shall I say, bold?”

“Everypony else has told me I was reckless, stupid, foolish.”

“Appropriate adjectives, yes, but unexpectedly bold, nonetheless.”

“Are you saying you never considered me capable of such boldness, sir?”

“Not at all. You humans have always had a history of bravado, wherever you appear in the records.” 

He said this last part in a cold mutter, bordering on contempt. I was anxious, in spite of my misgivings on this uptight stallion, to know just what knowledge he had on humans before me, and whether or not it had anything to do with his treatment of me.

“What do you know about humans, sir?” I asked. 

He cast a sharp glance at me, then said,

“Never you mind. You were bold, that is what matters. However, that is not what caught my interest. There was something else in your misadventure that grabbed my attention.”

“And what was that, sir?”

“That little filly.”

“Is that so?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. 

Why should he care so much about Scootaloo?...

“Her history…intrigues me.”

So, it was true. It was out in the open now, and he had no shame about it!

“And just when did you become acquainted with her history, sir?” I asked, angrily. “Did you happen to be performing one of your little ‘reconnoitering’ duties last night? You listened in on a private conversation, you coward!”

“Sir!” said Ironmane, sharply, “I will thank you to rescind the application of that vulgar title to my person! I am an official member of Her Majesty’s cabinet, and the Minister of Foreign Affairs. I do my duty and nothing more. I am no peeping Tom, eavesdropping outside keyholes, and I thoroughly resent the implication. I have my sources; let that suffice." 

No, I wasn't going to let that suffice. Just how did he get word of what happened? I’d never seen him in the crowds or out in the open, so how did he escape my notice? And how did he catch Scootaloo's history if he hadn't been eavesdropping? Was he lying about not listening in at Twilight's door, or did he have some hired toady of some mythical species dispatched to keep tabs on me without my knowing? I knew he’d never tell me directly, but he was holding fast to that ‘it’s my duty, so I’m entitled’ bull-spit…

“So you know her history,” I said, keeping my anger in check. "What’s it to you?”

“My dear fellow,” said Ironmane, also back under his own control, “surely you're not unaware of the consequences should the truth come to light. That young filly has been orphaned for some time now, when, under such conditions, she should rightfully be under the guardianship of a public orphanage. Your temporary patronage is, at this point, inconsequential.”

“If you ask me,” I retorted, hotly, “the need to put her in an orphanage will prove inconsequential! I’ll have found her a suitable adoptive guardian by then! You’ll see!”

"Shall I, truly?" asked Ironmane, raising an eyebrow. "She has evaded it for too long, already."

Was there just no reasoning with this guy?

“Minister Ironmane,” I said, in an almost pleading tone, “have a little humanity. She’s only a little girl.”

“My heart is not of stone, human,” he said, in a somewhat mollified tone, though still with a hint of authority. “I do not wish to see her suffer because of this, but what must be done must be done. It is merely my wish to uphold justice wherever needed. However, as I have said, I am not a stallion without feeling. I shall allow you a grace period of 24 hours. When that time has expired, however, I am afraid I will have to take action if nopony else will. Good day, human.” 

With that, he finally took his leave of me, leaving me in a much more agitated state of mind than before.

> I-de-a!
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

After my initial shock, I returned somewhat to my senses and put this turn of events into a better perspective. What authority did Ironmane have to meddle in my affairs? Just how far did his jurisdiction go? How far could he exercise the right to be a nosy jerk? What right had he to gain knowledge of a private conversation? 

Did Celestia even know he was extending his authority like this? Was it even worth notifying her of what he’d said? It wouldn’t matter. He was a member of her royal court. Obviously, she invested a lot of trust in him. How would it look if I told him he was meddling in affairs that weren't even foreign? I’d just look like a whiny dipstick who was trying to blame him for some meager little act, all because I took his conduct on our first meeting ill. 

I didn’t know whether or not he really had the right to send Scootaloo to an orphanage. Granted, it wouldn’t be difficult for him, as a public citizen and official, to notify city council that she had been an orphan for a long time, and he was reporting her under a sense of charity. He did say he didn't like the idea, but he had to uphold justice in all matters. I hated that kind of logic.

As I was thus mentally engaged, I didn’t notice someone coming up to my shoulder.

“Excuse me, sir. Is something the matter?”

“Huh?” 

I looked up. A unicorn mare was standing beside me, looking at me with concern. She had a young, pretty face, like a girl who’s just left her late teen years and was on the cusp of adulthood. She had purple eyes, a pink coat, and a purple, unruly mane. I could just make out her cutie mark: three diamonds, in the shape one would expect on actual rings.

“No, nothing’s wrong. Why do you ask?”

“You just look so sad, so worried. I was afraid someone had hurt you.” 

She had such a kind, gentle voice that it was impossible not to feel touched by its tones.

“I’m fine, really. Thank you for your concern, though. You’re very sweet to ask.” 

She smiled warmly.

“If you’re sure you’re all right, then that’s good with me. I’m sorry, but I have to be on my way. I’m planning to fetch my sister and take her here to the park.”

“Oh! Well, by all means, don’t let me keep you.”

“Thank you, sir. Goodbye!”

“Bye.” 

With that, she was off on her way. A lot of these ponies were so nice, so considerate. Why couldn’t Ironmane get with the program?

“Davie!”

I whipped around to see Pinkie standing beside me, hopping in place with glee. Standing beside her was none other than Rainbow Dash.

“Pinkie! That was quick. How’d you find her?”

“Oh, I have my ways,” she said, slyly, though I saw her glance off to the side. 

Following her gaze, I saw a bizarre looking contraption parked nearby. It looked like a mix between a helicopter and a bicycle, like one of Leonardo da Vinci’s early concept drawings of a flying machine.

“What was with that mare you were looking at?” asked Rainbow. “You checking out her flank or something?”

“What?!” I spluttered. “No! Don’t be sick!” 

Rainbow broke into a hearty guffaw, though I didn’t see what was so funny.

“Come on, dude, I’m kidding!” she said, sidling up onto the bench. “So, you called?”

“Yes, actually. Did Pinkie give you the lowdown?”

“An abridged version, but yeah,” she responded, her tone more sober. “Poor Scoot. I always had this nagging feeling in the back of my head about her, but I never listened to it. All the times she’d follow me around, watching me do my tricks. I’d tell her to just go home when she started to get on my nerves, and every time, she’d clam up the rest of the time she was there. I was a real jerk to her, and she wants to be like me?”

“Dashie,” said Pinkie, sadly.

“Rainbow, you’re not a jerk,” I said. “You’re a little rough around the edges, sure, but you’re no jerk. You obviously care a lot about Scootaloo. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have been so concerned for her last night, and my guess is you wouldn’t have even bothered to show up here on her account.” 

Her expression brightened somewhat at this.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. So, you’re trying to find her a new home?”

“Yeah, before the city council finds out and sticks her in an orphanage. It’d kill her if that happened. I’ve got two questions for you, Rainbow, but the second depends on your answering the first.”

“Ok,” said Rainbow, after a moment’s consideration. “Fire away.”

“Would you consider yourself the right pony to be Scootaloo’s guardian?”

The multi-colored mare’s lilac eyes went wide for a moment, but her expression changed to a more troubled one immediately after. She remained like this for several seconds before speaking up again.

“I…I dunno. I mean, yeah, I like the kid, but I’ve got all of my duties as a weather mare. When am I gonna find time for her when I’m busy kicking clouds?”

“Or napping?” asked Pinkie. 

This earned her a sour look from Rainbow.

“Too soon, Pinkie,” I muttered. 

Sensing the inappropriateness of such a comment, Pinkie zipped her lip, and Rainbow went on. 

“Besides, I’m not exactly mother material. Yeah, I’m the Element of Loyalty. Yeah, I’ve performed the Sonic Rainboom three times in my life. Yeah, I won the Best Young Flier’s Competition, but at the end of the day, I’m just another pony.”

“But that’s a good thing, isn’t it?" I asked. "It’s great to know you’re still normal despite all the ego-feeding fame.”

“But that’s all she knows about me," said Rainbow, more seriously. "She’s never known the real me like Fluttershy and Derpy do. I mean, the best I could do is maybe give her some flying lessons, if she ever asked me to."

"So, you'd be a better teacher than you would be a mother, is what you're saying," I said.

"Pretty much," said Rainbow, before she added, with a hint of pride, "though I was a bit of an early learner: a pegasus prodigy, you could say. Mom and Dad always told me I was gonna go far."

"I see," I said. 

I could picture Rainbow's parents being super-supportive towards her athletic aspirations.

"But," said Rainbow, growing sober again, "even if I don't feel right taking Scootaloo in myself, I still want to help her as best I can. She's grown on me, y'know?"

"I understand," I said, nodding. "Thanks for being honest."

Rainbow gave me a little smile, then asked,

"So, what was the other question?”

“Huh? Oh! Right. If you don’t think you’re capable of adopting Scootaloo, do you at least know anypony who would adopt her?”

“Oh, plenty, but you’re looking for a pegasus, right?”

“Preferably.”

“I know lots of ponies who are really swell, but I don’t think they’d be right for Scootaloo. Take Fluttershy, for example.” 

Pinkie looked up suddenly.

“But Fluttershy would make a great mommy!”

“I don’t doubt that, Pinkie,” said Rainbow. “She’s really sweet, and she’s got that motherly instinct with her animals, but that’s with animals. She could barely handle taking care of Scoot and her friends during that sleepover.”

“Ohh, right.”

“I’d come to those conclusions myself,” I said. “So, you don’t know anypony else who would fit the bill?”

Before Rainbow could answer, I felt myself impacted by something colliding with my stomach. Looking down, I saw that a little filly was giving me a big hug with all of her strength, a little filly I recognized.

“Dinky?” 

So it was: Derpy’s little filly.

“Hi, Mr. Dave!” she chirped, looking up with those adorable golden eyes. 

It looked like she’d gotten used to me after I’d helped her mother out. I heard Pinkie give an ‘aww!’, and, out of the corner of my eye, saw Rainbow grin. The latter leaned over and tousled Dinky’s mane.

“Hey, pipsqueak!” she said, in a tone that reminded me remarkably of one of my aunts greeting me. “Long time no see!”

“Hi, Auntie Rainbow Dash!” said Dinky, hugging the outstretched hoof, bringing a bigger smile to the pegasus’s face. 

Well, the ‘aunt’ comparison wasn’t too far off. It was a shame that Rainbow didn’t think she was cut out to be a mother. She was quite good with kids.

“Dinky! There was no need to run off like that!” called a voice, also familiar. 

Galloping up with all of her speed came the unicorn mare I’d met only moments ago, the one Rainbow accused me of eyeing. Seriously, how the heck did she come to that conclusion?

When she spotted me, she gave a small “Oh!” of surprise.

“Well! We meet again!” she said, in a pleased voice.

“Hi again,” I said. “Do you know Dinky?”

“Of course! She’s my little sister, after all.”

It took a full 5 seconds for this revelation to piece itself in my brain.

“…Dinky’s sister?”

“Yes.”

“So, that means you’re…you’re Derpy’s-”

“Daughter, yes. Sparkler Hooves, at your service!” she said, giving a polite bow.

It was like my brain was a minefield, and this answer just blew it to smithereens. She was Derpy’s daughter as well?! Just how old was Derpy? Now I wanted more than ever to know how pony age worked. And for that matter, how come I’d never heard mention of her before?

“Sparkler! Great to see you!” said Rainbow. “I almost didn’t recognize you!”

“Oh, Rainbow Dash, it’s only been 3 months.”

“But 3 months is forever when you’re away from friends!” interjected Pinkie, who gave Sparkler one of her bone-crushing hugs.

“But…how come Derpy never told me about you?” I asked, numbly, after Pinkie had let her go.

“Oh, well, I haven’t been in Ponyville for a long while,” she explained, after Pinkie let go. “You see, I wanted to get a job to help support the family a little better, so I became an apprentice at a jeweler’s. I was sent out of Ponyville for a few months on a special project: researching gemstones of other countries outside of Equestria, seeing how they prosper beneath foreign soils.”

“Wow!" I said, amazed. 

"You’d better watch out, or you’ll make Rarity jealous,” quipped Rainbow. 

Sparkler giggled. 

“Rarity and I are actually on fairly good terms," she told me, "due to our mutual interest in jewels.”

“Well, it’s great to meet you. I’m Dave.” 

Sparkler outstretched her hoof, and I gladly shook it. 

“Does your mother know you’re back?”

“No, not yet. I want to make it a surprise, for when she comes back from delivering the mail. I decided in the meantime to take Dinky to the park as a welcome-home surprise. Right, Dinks?”

“Uh-huh!” said Dinky, throwing her tiny hooves around Sparkler’s head. “I’m so happy you’re home again, big sis!” 

Sparkler giggled and nose-nuzzled her little sister. I’d already said that a lot of the ponies in Ponyville were good-natured and hospitable, but Derpy and her daughters seemed especially warm and happy, which was always welcome to see. It would melt a heart of ice-covered stone to see their interactions.

“Granted,” said Sparkler, “she was hoping to see her little friends here, but it looks like they’re busy elsewhere.”

“That’s ok, Sparkler,” said Dinky. “They’re probably Crusading again. They’re gonna have the most awesome cutie marks ever!”

“Oh? Are you friends with the Crusaders, Dinky?” I asked.

“Yep!” said Dinky. “They’re always so much fun!”

“Oho, I imagine,” I said.

And that’s when it hit me.

It was like a switch going off in my head, as if an old abandoned factory had suddenly been restored to full power. The cogs in my head suddenly began to turn.

“Hold the phone…” I muttered. 

Quick as a blink, I added a new entry to my mental pros and cons list.

Derpy Hooves

Pros: Pegasus, good job, family mare, good income, aided financially by daughter, welcome and neighborly to everypony, youngest daughter friends with Scootaloo

Cons: …

It might have been my inability to think bad of anyone who didn’t explicitly show anything unfavorable, but I could see no cons, and the pros were flooding my brain, making the smile of inspiration on my face grow wider and wider, until I must have looked positively creepy.

“You ok, Davie?” asked Pinkie.

“Dinky,” I said, turning to the little filly, who regarded me with childish curiosity, “would you consider yourself good friends with Scootaloo?”

“Uh-huh!” said Dinky. “She’s so cool when she rides her scooter! She let me ride in her wagon once, too! It was so great! And she knows Rainbow Dash, who knows Mama! Well, actually, she already knows Mama, too, since she does the paper route before Mama delivers the mail.”

It was too perfect to believe.

“That’s it!” I crowed, slapping my fist into my palm.

“What’s it?” asked Pinkie and Rainbow simultaneously.

“Sparkler, when does your mother return home?” 

Sparkler looked somewhat put off by my earnestness.

“Well, usually around noon. Why?” 

I glanced at my watch. It was 10:45.

“Perfect! Rainbow, Pinkie, I need you two to fetch Scootaloo from Twilight’s. Meet me at Derpy’s with her. This could be our, or, I should say, her only chance.” 

Though bewildered by my behavior at first, dawning comprehension came into the faces of the two mares as they swallowed what I said.

“You got it, Dave,” said Rainbow, in a determined way.

“We’ll be there!” said Pinkie. 

Sparkler looked completely bewildered, probably thinking I was some kind of madman. Dinky was looking at me with a strange sort of eagerness.

“Is Scootaloo in trouble?” she asked, innocently. 

I gazed down at her in surprise. She had astonishing perceptiveness for a filly her age.

“Something like that, kiddo,” I said.

“Are we gonna help her?”

“If everything works out, yes, we’ll do more than that. Pinkie, Rainbow, don’t fail me.”

“On our way, chief!” said Rainbow, with a gallant salute. 

She soared off into the sky, and Pinkie, hopping back onto her contraption, took off after her, causing quite a few heads to turn as she ascended.

“What’s this all about?” asked Sparkler.

“Let’s head to your mother’s first, and I’ll explain there. It’s not too safe within a public hearing capacity.”

As we left, however, I reflected how much risk Ironmane had pulled in speaking to me, with no regard for whoever might be listening. Then again, maybe it was just some odd convenience that nopony seemed to have overheard, leaving me the only witness to it. My stay just seemed to be getting weirder and wilder by the minute, but at the moment, this sudden inspiration seemed to cap them all.
> Scootaloo's New Home
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“No!”
        
“I’m afraid so.”
        
“That’s horrible! Poor thing…”
        
I’d made good on my assurance to inform Sparkler of what was going on once we were at Derpy’s house. It was a rather cozy little cottage close to the town border, with a small wood to its back, far more pleasant than the Everfree Forest. Derpy hadn’t arrived yet, and neither had Pinkie and Rainbow with Scootaloo, so I took the time to tell Sparkler all. I just hoped Scootaloo wouldn’t feel betrayed about it, due to our oath of secrecy last night, but this was far too important to keep in the dark, if my plan was to work.
        
I was seated in a plush-cushioned wicker chair, Sparkler seated on a sofa of the same material. Dinky was cuddled up beside her.
        
“It breaks my heart to hear of this kind of thing, Sparkler,” I said, “even more so if it’s someone I know.”
        
“So, you really think she’d let Mom adopt her?”
        
“Your mother’s perfect for her. She’s a pegasus, so she can learn to fly, and she’s one of the nicest ponies I’ve met thus far. She even knows Rainbow Dash, the kid’s idol, on a personal level, and she’d be having one of her school friends as a sister.” 

I glanced at Dinky, who looked up upon being referenced to. 

“The positives just continually outweigh the negatives, Sparkler,” I went on.
        
I could see that Sparkler looked doubtful.
        
“Now, I know it might be a little tough, raising another kid. I can’t speak from a personal level, as I’m not even old enough to raise kids myself, but I just have this…this gut feeling that this is how it was meant to be. I can’t explain it, but it’s there. It just all fits. It’s too perfect to ignore. Please, Sparkler. She’s suffered so much.”
        
“Exactly,” said Sparkler, “and what if it doesn’t work out? It’ll be more salt to her wounds.”
        
“I know, I know. I don’t want to let her down, but I can’t ignore the feeling that I’m right on this one. If it doesn’t work out, I’ll think of something, but…”
        
“Dave,” said Sparkler, gently. 

She came over and put a hoof onto my hand. 

“Why are you taking so much trouble for her, when you know you don’t have to?”

I had my answer ready once again.
        
“Because I'm a Crusader.” 

As proof, I once more pulled out the small blue neckerchief from my pocket, showing it to her. Sparkler just gazed at it, then to me, straight into my eyes. 
        
“Who are you, really?” she asked. 

I couldn’t help laughing quietly.
        
“I’m just a plain, ordinary guy who’s had one heck of a week.”

Sparkler continued to gaze at me for a while, as though trying to read my mind, then she nodded.

"All right," she said. "If you think Mom's the right pony to raise Scootaloo, I'm going to trust your judgment. I'll do everything I can to help her."

"Thank you, Sparkler," I said, relieved.

Just then, the door opened, and in walked Derpy, her mailbag slung over her shoulder.

“Dinky, I’m home!” she called, not even looking over at where we were sitting.

She set her bag aside and looked up. Her misaligned eyes finally caught sight of us, and she seemed surprised to see me there, though not displeased.

“Oh!” she said. “Hello, Dave! I didn’t know you’d dropped by.”

“Hey, Derpy.”

Then her eyes fell on Sparkler, and they widened instantly.

“Sparkler!”

“Hi, Mom,” said Sparkler, warmly.

Without the aid of her wings, Derpy sprang across the room and threw her forelegs around her daughter, nuzzling her lovingly. 

“Oh, my little Sparkly! I had no idea you were coming home!”
        
“I wanted it to be a surprise, Mom,” said Sparkler, coloring from the exuberant display, and perhaps from being called ‘Sparkly’ in the presence of a visitor.
        
“I’m so glad you’re home again,” said Derpy, kissing Sparkler on the cheek.
        
“Aw, Mom. I’m glad to see you too,” said Sparkler, gently. 

This display of motherly love was all I needed to reaffirm my convictions that Derpy was the right mother for my little friend, having seen it for myself now. I dared not interfere, and waited until they’d finished.
        
“Now, Dave, what brings you by?” Derpy asked.
        
“Is there somewhere we could speak in private, like your bedroom? There’s something I need to tell you, something of confidential importance.”
        
“Sure,” said Derpy, who seemed slightly taken aback at the serious nature of the words ‘confidential importance’. “Follow me.”

As she led the way, I glanced back at Sparkler, who flashed me a ‘good luck’ smile.
        
I found Derpy’s bedroom to be cozily furnished, with several photographs lining the walls. One was of Derpy with a younger, filly Sparkler, and another showed her holding a newborn Dinky in her hooves. Yet another showed mother and daughters together, Dinky on Sparkler’s back. There were two things I noticed right away about these pictures. One, I couldn't see any photos that had anypony that might be a husband or father. Second, it was impossible to tell how old Derpy was in any of these. She looked practically the same in each.
        
“Something wrong?” she asked, innocently.
        
“Huh? Oh! No, not at all. I was just admiring your photos. You and the girls make quite a family.”
        
“Yeah. My little muffins,” she said, tenderly. “I’d never get through a day without them. The best part of my day is coming home to their smiling faces. But, silly me!” she added, with a laugh. “Listen to me, babbling on. There was something you wanted to talk to me about?”
        
“Yes.” 

I sat at the edge of the bed, and she joined me. 

“First of all,” I said, seriously, “I need you to promise me that you won’t leak a word of what I’m about to tell you to anyone.”

Derpy looked puzzled, for good reason.

“Of course, if that’s what you want,” she said. “You have my word.”

“Good.”

As briefly as I could, I narrated Scootaloo’s history, and our misadventure in the Everfree Forest. Derpy’s golden eyes widened as I pressed on, and her expression became sadder and sadder.
        
“So that’s where we stand,” I concluded.
        
“Oh, that’s awful,” she said, softly. “I’d heard about your little escapade, but I thought it had just been a rumor. I couldn’t imagine you just wandering into the Everfree Forest like that.”
        
“Well, like I said, it was no stroke of chance that led me there.”
        
“I had no idea Scootaloo had no home. All the times I’d seen her when she was doing her paper route, she seemed so…happy, so normal. Why didn’t she say anything?”
        
“She was afraid of being sent to an orphanage, of taking the risk of nopony adopting her.”
        
“That’s nonsense!” said Derpy, sternly. “Scootaloo is a sweet, goodhearted little filly! I mean, sure, she’s a little reckless, and a bit of a tomboy, but so is Rainbow Dash. If could count all the similarities between those two…" she added, fondly. "I see so much of her in her. It reminds me of when she was her age. I’ve just always considered her part of the mailroom, part of the family.”
        
“That’s exactly what I’ve wanted to hear you say, Derpy,” I said, gratified.
        
“What do you mean?” asked Derpy.

I took her by both hooves, gripping them with warm firmness. 

“Derpy Hooves, would you be willing to take Scootaloo in as your daughter-by-adoption?”
        
Derpy’s eyes widened once again, but again, as they always seemed to be when the issue required serious attention, they were correctly aligned. 
        
“Me?” she asked, in a soft, stunned voice. “Why not Rainbow Dash? Scootaloo’s nuts about her.”
        
“I asked her myself,” I said. “She said that while she has an attachment towards Scoot, she’s unsure if she can take on the responsibility. Now, I understand that three kids might be much, but I just have this unexplainable feeling that this is how it was meant to be.”
        
“It could be tough,” Derpy assented, but added, “It’s not just me having a third child. It’s bringing Scootaloo into a new environment. From what you’ve said, she’s had a deadbeat father almost all her life, and she's been on her own the rest of it. Am I really the right pony to re-introduce her to parental love?”
        
“Derpy, how can you even ask that?” I said, passionately. “You’ve raised two healthy, happy girls, one of whom is practically an adult. You go above and beyond to make those around you happy, in your own way, by bringing the mail. You’re like Pinkie, if she were a pegasus.” 

Come to think of it, how had I not drawn that parallel before?
        
Derpy remained silent for a little while, so I plucked up courage to say,
        
“I know it’s not an easy decision. Heck, I’m not even in a position to claim I know how it feels. I’ve only seen how it must feel. I’m just going by the gut feeling I feel when I see you and her in my mind’s eye. I don’t think Scootaloo’s ever gonna find a mother more capable, or even as capable, as you, Derpy.”
        
She still remained silent. I crossed my fingers, my hands still sitting on the bed. 
        
(Please, Heavenly Father, if you can still hear me even across worlds, don’t leave this poor filly to be abandoned, to have a fresh disappointment added to her life. Show me that I was right in my decision…)
        
At last, Derpy looked up at me, and there seemed to be the beginning of tears in her eyes. She said, with a smile,
        
“If you think it’s right…I don’t want to be wrong.”
        
My heart leaped.
        
“You mean, you’ll do it?”
        
“Yes. If Scootaloo wants to be part of our family, I’ll do it. I could never abandon that poor little filly in good conscience. She deserves a mother’s love, and by Celestia, if you think I’m the kind of mother she needs, I'll be that mother for her.”
        
She said yes.

She said yes!

This was wonderful!

All that was needed now was Scootaloo’s approval!
        
At that moment, there was a knock at the front door. Derpy and I looked up. 

“That must be her,” I said. “I asked Pinkie and Rainbow to bring her around.”

I stood up, and the motherly pegasus led me back into the living room. Sparkler had just answered the door, and there, sure enough, were Rainbow Dash and Pinkie, with Scootaloo between them.
        
“Hi, Scootaloo!” chirped Dinky, leaping down from the couch to bestow a big hug on her little companion. 

Scootaloo smiled and patted her back.
        
“Hey, Dinky,” she said, before gazing up at me as I approached. “Dave, what’s going on?”

I looked up at Pinkie and Rainbow Dash. They nodded, and I knelt down in front of Scootaloo.
        
“Scootaloo,” I said, “ever since you told me about what happened, I’ve been giving your situation a lot of thought. I want you to have a home where you can be happy. I’ve been running it over in my head, and I think I have the answer.”

Scootaloo kept her eyes on me, a kind of curious puzzlement on her face.

“Scootaloo, I think Derpy would make the perfect mother for you.”
        
I paused to let the words sink in. Scootaloo blinked up at me, mouth agape. She tried to find words, but nothing articulate came forth. She was quite literally too stunned to speak.

Her eyes then fell on Derpy. The pegasus mare smiled with all the warmth and kindness that could only come from the face of a mother.

“You’ve always felt like a part of the family to me, Scootaloo,” she said, “from our work with the mail to your friendship with Dinky. I would be honored to call you my daughter in earnest.”

Scootaloo stared at her for a long time. It was only then that I realized that her purple eyes were full of tears, her lip quivering. She was fighting hard to keep her eyes dry, but it was a losing battle. Smiling with gentle understanding, Derpy opened her forelegs out to her.

Without any delay, Scootaloo, the tears rolling faster, launched herself forward, throwing her hooves around her as Derpy enclosed hers around Scootaloo. The two remained in each other’s forelegs for a long time, neither daring to break away from the other. Derpy leaned down to kiss her forehead, while Scootaloo just lay nestled against her chest. Sparkler, her face alight with tender joy, joined in the hug, followed by Dinky, who seemed utterly overjoyed at her friend becoming her sister.
        
I was, at first, surprised to find that the world had gone misty, and it wasn’t until I put my hand to my face that I realized that I’d been crying as well, and that my cheeks were saturated. How could I not, though? It had worked. I’d saved Scootaloo from future misery. For once, something I’d planned had succeeded…
        
I looked at my two companions. Pinkie was honking into a handkerchief, not shy about her emotions, while Rainbow looked as if she were trying to suppress the happy tears in her own eyes at seeing her little tagalong of a fan happy once more.
        
“Rainbow?” I asked, making her look up, “I hate to feel like I’m being a burden to you, but I’ve got a couple more tasks to ask of you.”
        
“Anything, dude,” said Rainbow. “Fire away.”
        
“I want you to head to Twilight’s. Ask her for help on getting and filling out an adoption form. If she can, have her come here to help Derpy with it.”
        
“Got it,” said the sporty pegasus, who was about ready to take off, when I held up my hand to stop her.
        
“And one more thing. Ask Twilight if ‘tomorrow at 2’ is acceptable.” 

Rainbow and Pinkie looked at each other, puzzled. 

“Don’t worry,” I went on. “She’ll know what I’m talking about.”
        
“Leave it to me,” said Rainbow. 

She went over to the Hooves family to say goodbye to them. She received not one, but three big hugs: one from Scootaloo, one from Derpy, and one from Dinky. It made me smile to see Rainbow being treated as an old family friend, as I didn’t doubt she was. After telling Derpy that she would be getting Twilight’s aid in making the adoption official, she took off. That left Pinkie and myself with the Hooves’. I had barely approached them when Scootaloo threw herself at me, throwing her little hooves around my neck.
        
“Aw, Scoot, you’re gonna start me crying again,” I said, trying to joke, while holding her close. “I’ll visit as often as you like, my little friend.”

Her only response was adding a little more strength to her hug. As I set her down, Derpy was the next to embrace me.
        
“You’ve done so much for me in such a short time,” she said, “and now you’ve given me the chance to save a poor filly from a life of loneliness.”
        
“Such a short time?” I asked. “It feels like an eternity.” 

This produced a laugh from all around.
        
“You’ll always be welcome in our house, Dave,” she continued. “Never forget that.”
        
“I won’t, Derpy. Depend upon it.” 

Lastly, I received an energetic glomp from Dinky and a much gentler hug from Sparkler, who said nothing, but the smiles on their faces were all that was necessary.
        
“Ready, Pinkie?” I asked, when all had been done with.
        
“Ready,” said Pinkie, who was still misty-eyed from what had happened. 

Bidding a final farewell to the Hooves, and their new family member, Pinkie and I took our leave, my mind and heart ablaze with joy, relief, and accomplishment.

> The Great and Powerful Trixie
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Can I even express the spirits which buoyed me as I walked back towards the center of town? I felt as if my limbs were completely weightless, that I was strolling across the surface of the moon, my heart feeling as if I could burst into song, if I only knew the words.

And oh, it was better than that. I’d proven Ironmane wrong. Whether or not he had intended to report Scootaloo because it would spite me, or because it really was his civic duty, I’d deprived him of a possible chance to have the upper hand over me. I had the strongest desire to find him, shout ‘In your FACE!’ right into his face, and perform the most ridiculous, annoying victory dance I could think of, even if he were completely baffled by the meaning of it.

My exuberance seemed to be infecting Pinkie as well, as she was cantering along beside me, in a sort of skipping jog, with the biggest smile on her face.

“Davie, you’ve done a really great thing today. Something like that deserves a reward!”

“Aw, now, Pinkie, seeing Scootaloo safe and secure in a family is all the reward I need.”

Looking down at her, I saw that she was still grinning, so how could I not return it?

We’d hardly entered the Ponyville market, however, before Pinkie suddenly stopped.

“Pinkie? What is it?” 

Inexplicably, her teeth began chattering, as if she were standing in a blizzard, but the weather was perfectly mild. When she stopped, I ventured to ask, 

“What was that about?”

“My teeth chattered.”

“Well, obviously.” 

Was this part of her Pinkie Sense or something?

“That means we’re about to get an unpleasant visit.”

“An unpleasant visit?” 

For a moment, I wondered if she meant Ironmane, if he was even still in Ponyville. In lieu of that, however, we heard a loud commotion coming from one of the stalls.

“4 bits for 3 tomatoes?! You have to be joking!”

“Haven’t you ever heard of supply and demand?”

“Of course I have, and I demand that you supply me with reasonably-priced produce! Do you know who I am?!”

“I couldn't care less.”

“What the heck is going on over there?” I asked.

“The unpleasant visit,” said Pinkie.

Following her gaze, I saw that the keeper of a stall selling tomatoes was arguing with a pony who looked absolutely outlandish. Her coat was blue, and I could just make out the silvery-blue of her mane, as well as her violet eyes. Most of her form, however, was garbed in an enormous purple cloak and wizard’s hat, decorated all over with stars, along with a pair of saddle bags. She looked like a stage magician, or a cosplayer on her way to a con.

“Listen, lady,” said the stall keeper, “I run my business my way, and everypony else runs theirs their way. If you don’t like my prices, you’re gonna have to live with it.”

“You’ll rue this day, my good woman!” snapped the gaudy mare. “The Great and Powerful Trixie shall let all of Equestria know of Ponyville’s extortionist market dealings!”

“I’m shaking,” said the stall keeper, sarcastically.

The pony’s outrage at overpriced tomatoes had attracted quite a crowd, nopony in it looking happy. There was also something familiar about the name 'Trixie'.

“What’s going on?” I asked Pinkie. “Why does everypony look like she kicked a puppy or something?”

Before Pinkie could answer, Rainbow touched down next to us.

“Hey, Dave. Twilight was really happy to hear about what happened, and she said tomorrow at 2’s perfect.”

“Great, Rainbow. Thanks.”

“Something wrong? What are you staring at?” 

She followed our gaze, and a disgruntled countenance to match the rest of the crowd came across her face. 

“Oh. It’s her.”

“Her who?” I asked.

“Trixie…”

And then, it clicked.

Wait a minute. That’s the Trixie Twilight mentioned?”

“Did she tell you much?”

“Just that she showed off and ran away after finally being read the riot act.”

“Right. Well, we were hoping she was gone for good.”

“Is she that bad?” I asked, but neither of my companions answered. 

Trixie seemed to become aware of the crowd she was attracting, and turned to look at the angry throng.

“What?” she asked, snappishly. “Can’t a pony go shopping without being harassed? A star has to eat too, you know.” 

She said this with her head help up loftily, as if she were someone of noble birth.

“You’ve got a lot of nerve showing your face here again, Trixie,” said Rainbow, stepping forward. 

Trixie’s eyes narrowed in dislike.

“Well, well, well. if it isn’t one of Twilight Sparkle’s little lackeys.”

“Lackey?! Oh, you’re asking for it!” 

Rainbow pawed the ground.

“Careful, now,” said Trixie, in a playfully dangerous voice, “before Trixie gives you another twirl-about. You wouldn’t want that, now, would you?”

Rainbow snorted through her nostrils, and looked ready to dive at Trixie, but, out of a sort of impulse, I grabbed her by her tail, stopping her short. She turned an annoyed look at me.

“Come on, dude! First Applejack, now you? Let me at her!”

“Easy, Rainbow. We don’t want this to turn into a brawl.”

“Says who?”

“And what, pray tell, are you?” came Trixie’s voice. 

I had the feeling that the question was directed at me, and indeed, all eyes were turned in my direction. Trixie stepped toward me, eyeing me like an art critic surveying a sculpture. As she approached, I could see that her starry cloak was fastened by a light blue gemstone as a brooch. Her violet eyes roved over me.

“Well!” she said, in admiring surprise, “By the grassy savannas of Zebrafrica…” 

She turned to the townspeople. 

“Trixie must give you credit, Ponyville. She did not imagine that you had the capacities to capture a live human. Of course, Trixie could have wrangled a dozen without much hassle, but I suppose you went with quality over quantity.”

Did she just refer to me as a tamed beast? The nerve…! I had a half a mind to release Rainbow and sic her on this insulting mare, if my fist wasn’t so tightly clenched.

“I beg your pardon, miss,” I said, with an attempt to keep myself under control, but Trixie interrupted me.

“Oh! You speak. How intriguing. Well, human, The Great and Powerful Trixie would prefer that you refer to her by her full title.” 

She spoke this title with a lot of grandeur, and even rolled the R’s of it. At any rate, her statement was still infuriating. Before I could speak my mind, however, Pinkie had gotten between me and Trixie, her light blue eyes aflame with anger.

“Hey! You leave him alone!” 

Trixie merely raised an eyebrow.

“Trixie is not familiar with you, but she doesn’t doubt you are another of Twilight Sparkle’s cronies.”

“She’s my friend, thank you,” said Pinkie, “and so is he, so you do not talk to him like that!”

“Awfully defensive of him, aren’t you? Are you his keeper, or is it something beyond that?”

Oh, no she didn’t…she did not just go there! Now I was holding both Rainbow and Pinkie back, but I was undecided whether it was because I didn’t want them to get into a fight, or because I didn’t want them to get to her before I did.

“What’s your problem, Trixie?” snapped someone in the crowd. 

I picked out that it was Golden Harvest, the carrot farmer. Trixie’s face darkened. It seemed, somehow, that that one question struck a nerve. She slowly turned to face the crowd. She seemed, moreover, to be in a different mindset, as she didn’t refer to herself in the third person as she spoke this time.

“What’s my problem? I have no problem. It is all of you that have the problem! All I did was come to spread my magic and tales of bravery, and all you did was mock me and try to make me look like a fool!”

“You sure as hay didn’t need us to make you look like a fool!” said Rainbow.

“You were rude to my friends, you meanie-pants!” said Pinkie. “I saw what you did!”

“You foals brought it upon yourselves!” growled Trixie. “You doubted my magic, so I offered you the chance to prove it. Is it my fault that you failed?”

“All you did was use your magic to twist what we did!” said Rainbow. “That’s all you are, Trixie: a lying, boastful, unoriginal fraud!” 

Trixie’s eyes widened in shock, but narrowed again in rage.

“How dare you! I am a mare of the stage, a mistress of the theatric arts! I shall not be treated like a lowlife by you…you...lowlifes! I’ve had enough! I should never have come back.” 

She stomped off, as the crowd muttered darkly about her. I followed her with my gaze, and what I saw next gave me a check in my initial anger.

It was for a very brief instant, but as Trixie left, she turned her head to look at the crowd again, whose attention was amongst each other rather than her, and, in that instant, her face changed from a look of resentment…to one of hurt sadness. Again, it was only for an instant, as she quickly turned away again and made her way toward the edge of town, but it stood out vividly.

In that brief space of time, I couldn’t help but feel some pity for her. Sure, she’d been rather rude and insulting, but then, the crowd was basically feeding her attitude by egging her on. Was she really that bad, or was there more to it than that? 

I had to know.

Numbly, I released Pinkie and Rainbow’s tails, and began directing my steps the way Trixie had gone.

“Davie? Where are you going?”

“I have to talk to her,” I said, decidedly.

“What? To Trixie?”

“Of course to Trixie.”

“Why?” asked Rainbow, “So she can insult you some more? I was ready to make her eat her own hat when she started treating you like some wild animal!”

“All sides need to be heard in an argument, Rainbow!” I said, whipping around, catching her by surprise. “I’ve gotten an earful of everypony else’s side, now I want to hear her side. I should think that’s what Twilight would want, if she'd been here in the crowd.”

The two mares looked at each other in silence, unsure of what to say to that.

“I’m not asking you to come with me, so don’t think you have to, but I’m going.” 

Gee, where did this sound familiar?

“I’ll go with you, Davie,” said Pinkie, quietly. “Trixie never did anything to me personally, even if she was mean to my friends.”

“Well, I still say she’s a jerk,” said Rainbow, defiantly. “If you wanna waste your time talking to her, that’s your funeral. I’ll see you guys later.” 

With a flap of her wings, she soared off into the sky, the crowd dispersing. I looked down at Pinkie, who nodded, and the two of us headed off in the direction Trixie took.


***


Luckily, Trixie never suspected us of following her, as she was some distance off, and we were able to see in what direction she was headed. The spring that was in our steps had subsided, to be replaced with swift but stealthy movements, lest she employ some means of overhearing our approach.

Our tracking took us out of Ponyville, back towards the woods where Derpy’s home was. We were just in time to see Trixie duck into them, at a spot further off from the pegasus’s house. Silently, we followed after her. Honestly, I was amazed at how quiet Pinkie was being, due to her usually being so loud and chipper. Perhaps I didn’t give her enough credit, that she did have the capacity to take a situation seriously.

Thankfully, as I’d observed before, these woods were much more wholesome in appearance than the Everfree Forest, and traversing them was a trifle. Unexpectedly, we came right to the object of our search, but what an object it was.

Sitting in an enclosure, from which branched off a dirt path with wheel tracks (indicating how it had gotten there in the first place), was a large, brightly-painted caravan, about the size of a modern trailer home, with a signpost hanging from it bearing a symbol like a star-tipped wand leaving behind a trail of magic.

(Mr. Toad, eat your heart out,)

With no small degree of apprehension, I crossed the enclosure, came to the door, and knocked twice.

No answer.

I knocked again.

This time there was a noise, as of someone moving about. An upper panel in the door opened, and Trixie stuck her head out, a disgruntled look on her face. She wasn’t wearing her hat or her cloak, so I could see that her mane was flowing and silky, almost like a shorter version of Fluttershy’s style. Moreover, I saw the telltale horn of a unicorn.

“Oh, it’s you,” she said. “Not content with the humiliation Trixie got from the townsfolk, I see. You’ve come to laugh in Trixie’s face, haven’t you?”

“Actually, Trixie, I was wondering if I could come in and talk with you.”

“Talk with Trixie? What could you possibly have to say?”

“I’m not as idiotic as you think I am. I have a functioning brain, though some members of my species choose not to display credibility to that fact.” 

A rather uncomfortable look came across Trixie’s face, as if reminded of something she didn’t want to have remembered.

“I wasn’t going to imply,” she began, but she seemed to catch herself. “That is to say…” She sighed, frustrated. “Very well, you may come in. If it had been Trixie’s old caravan, she might not be so welcoming, as there was much less room.” 

She closed the upper compartment, and the main door opened. As I ascended the steps, Pinkie followed, but Trixie stopped the two of us.

“What is she doing here?” she asked, sharply.

“She’s been my friend ever since I arrived in Equestria,” I said, calmly. “She means no harm to you.” 

Trixie glared at Pinkie for a few moments, though Pinkie tried giving her a weak smile. With another sigh, she said,

“Fine, Trixie doesn’t care. Just don’t touch anything.” 

She stepped away, allowing us to enter.

Trixie’s caravan was rather full of trunks and boxes, which in turn were full of magician’s props, fireworks, and other performance miscellany. A wall-mounted bed took up part of one of the walls. Several posters stretched across the other wall, showing Trixie looking triumphant and proud with explosions and smoke billowing behind her. At the end, in stark contrast to these eye-catching images, was an official-looking plaque. I was going over to inspect it, but Trixie cleared her throat loudly, catching my attention.

“Please, be seated,” she said, in a stiff tone that must have been her attempt at being polite. 

She sat at the very end of her bed, while Pinkie and I sat at the other. Besides her magic wand cutie mark, she seemed…oddly reduced without her theatrical attire. I gazed from her to one of her posters. The real deal seemed thinner, as if she hadn’t been eating too well as of late. I even fancied I could see her ribs sticking through her coat, and there was a tired look in the eyes that, on her displays, looked vibrant and energetic. My sympathy for her had found a new thread to follow.

“What are you staring at?” she asked, catching me by surprise in my musings.

“Er, well,” I stammered, “I, er, just couldn’t help but notice that you, uh…don’t look too well.”

“What do you mean by that?”

“You look like you could use a good meal, if you don’t mind my saying. Not that I’m criticizing you!” I added, hastily, as she raised her eyebrow. “On the contrary, I think you look nice. I’m just worried that you might not be getting enough to eat.”

Trixie continued to stare at me with a raised eyebrow, but she finally allowed herself a smile, giving her mane a flip. 

“Thank you for your compliment, but Trixie doesn’t need to be told she’s beautiful. As for your concerns about her figure, Trixie is trying to keep it via the most sophisticated diet she could find. If Trixie is feeling generous, she could lend some tips to your pink friend. She looks like she could use them.”

“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?” asked Pinkie, putting her hooves to her hips with an indignant pout on her face. 

I could kind of see what Trixie meant, as the gesture only made Pinkie’s plump belly even more obvious, but I had to prevent another argument from breaking out.

“Trixie,” I said, levelly, “we didn’t come to start a conflict with you. We’ll agree to be civil if you do the same.”

Trixie gave me another steady look, then cleared her throat.

“I see. Very well. Trixie shall be as civil as can be managed. What is it you wish to speak of, human?”

“Well, first of all, call me Dave, please.”

“Dave?…A simple name, in length, but it lacks the flair, the extravagance that a name could have, such as…”

“The Great and Powerful Trixie?” I asked, flatly.

“Ah! Already our minds think alike!” she said. “You’re much cleverer than Trixie gave you credit for. I may have been wrong about you.”

“You may have been wrong?”

Trixie looked as if she saw her error, and said, in a more subdued tone,

“Very well, I was wrong. You’ll have to forgive me. I’m not always skilled in speaking with admirers off-stage.”

Ok, this was at least a step in the right direction…

“Well, Trixie, I’m here to listen to both sides of the events you and a Miss Twilight Sparkle were involved in.”

And too late, I saw that I’d taken us a step back.

“Twilight Sparkle,” said Trixie, in a scornful tone. “How often has that name pervaded my every dream? My humiliating fall from grace, the destruction of my reputation, all because of her!” 

Her pupils had become constricted to mere pinpoints, and her teeth were gritted. Moreover, a pinkish light was glowing at the tip of her horn, like she was about to fire a blast from it, similar to how Ironmane acted when he first met me. I edged away from her, thoroughly discomforted, and I felt Pinkie protectively put her forelegs around me. 

Thankfully, her enraged expression disappeared just as quickly as it had come.

“I can sense there’s still some enmity against her,” I said, weakly.

“Enmity? Whatever do you mean? The Great and Powerful Trixie is a friend to all!”

“Really?” I asked, raising an eyebrow, “If those townsfolk were your friends, I’d rather not meet your enemies.”

Trixie said nothing to this.

“Pinkie,” I asked, “do you remember when Trixie first came to Ponyville?”

“Uh-huh, as if it happened yesterday!”

“Can you tell me how it went down, through your eyes?”

“Sure! Well, I got up like I usually did, had a nice, big stack of pancakes with strawberries on top for breakfast, then I played with Gummy for a little while, and-”

“Pinkie, Pinkie!” I interrupted.

“Yes?”

“As much as we’d all love to hear how every part of your day went-”

“Speak for yourself,” muttered Trixie. 

I gave her a swift look, then resumed.

“Would you mind just skipping ahead to when Trixie arrived?”

“Oh! All right! Why didn’t you say so?”

My only response was a groan of frustration.

“Snips and Snails were running around Ponyville, talking about a super-awesome magical pony that had just come to town!”

“Snips and Snails?” I asked. 

What was next, a pony named ‘Puppy Dog Tail’?

“A couple of school-colts. They attend Cheerilee’s class,” Pinkie explained. “We all gathered to see ‘The Great and Powerful Trixie’, who was making a lot of booms, sparks, and kablooies from her wagon!”

“I hardly think Trixie’s advanced pyrotechnics require such a verbal dumbing down,” muttered Trixie.

“She was talking about how cool and awesome she was, and how she beat an Ursa Major single-hoofed! Then some of the others started making fun of her and booing her, which I didn’t think was very nice.” 

Trixie looked up, as if surprised to hear this.

“Well, if all she was doing was trying to be theatrical, I hardly see why that should get everypony in that mood,” I said. 

Trixie then looked at me with the same expression.

“So she challenged everypony in the audience," Pinkie continued, "and said ‘anything you can do, I can do better’, and everypony else was all like, ‘no you can’t’, and Trixie was like ‘yes I can’, and everypony else was like ‘no you can’t’, and Trixie was like ‘yes I can’, and everypony else-”

“We get the point, Pinkie,” I interrupted, a bit impatiently.

“So, anyway, Applejack pulled off some super-duper lasso tricks, but Trixie just hogtied her!” 

I looked at Trixie, wondering if she had some defense for this accusatory statement.

“Trixie was only demonstrating superior rope handling,” she said, simply. “That apple-happy cow-pony had it coming to her.”

“But did you really have to hogtie her?” I asked.

“Perhaps not, but it was the first thing to come to Trixie’s mind,” she said, somewhat snappishly.

“Proceed, Pinkie,” I said.

“Then Dashie stepped in and made a mini-rainbow over herself! It was so pretty! Then Trixie used it to spin her around and make her all dizzy!”

“You can warp a rainbow?” I asked, looking at Trixie.

“What can’t Trixie do?” she asked, giving a dignified toss of her head.

(Stop referring to herself in the third person, for one thing,)

“And then Rarity made herself all pretty with her magic, and Trixie turned her mane green!”

“Um, oh the horror?” I said, puzzled.

“That fashion-loving pony used Trixie’s stage curtains to make her little outfit,” said Trixie, in a justified tone. “She had it coming to her.”

“So, borrowing a curtain warrants changing someone’s hair color? Then again, I can’t exactly see Rarity with a green mane.”

“Then Trixie challenged Twilight to show her stuff!” said Pinkie.

“That must have been impressive to see,” I said. “What did she do, make a miniature replication of the solar system? Perform some teleportation tricks?” 

Trixie gave a derisive snort.

“Well, no,” said Pinkie, “but she did show off her super-awesome hearing skills.”

“Hearing skills?”

“Yeah! She could hear her laundry calling all the way from her house, and ran off to take care of it! I wish I had ears like hers.”

“Wait," I said, the answer dawning on me. "You mean she made up an excuse not to take on Trixie’s challenge? Why?”

“Trixie thought,” said Trixie, resentfully, “that she was simply too scared at the thought of humiliating herself in front of her peers, but it seems she only didn’t do it because she was being humble, that she didn’t want to be as big a showoff as Trixie.”

“I wouldn’t say being humble with having great power is anything to be ashamed of,” I said, but Trixie just gave a small ‘hmph’.

“Then, that night,” Pinkie proceeded, “I heard a loud rumbling coming from outside, so I peeked out the window, and saw a big blue bear stomping down the street! I waved and said ‘Hi!’, but I don’t think he heard me. He must have been really cranky.”

“So, this was that Ursa thing?”

“Yep! Snips and Snails had brought it in for Trixie to vanquish!”

“Wait, what?!” I shouted. “Two little colts lured a dangerous beast into Ponyville?!”

Then again, I vaguely remembered Twilight saying something similar.

“Trixie still shudders upon remembering those two little imbeciles,” Trixie muttered.

“It turns out Trixie couldn’t take care of the Ursa, because she never had before! Her whole story about doing that was just a big, fat lie! I later asked Applejack, since she represents the Element of Honesty, what her take was on lying if it was part of your job. She just looked at me and said, 'It ain’t no job I’d be anxious for, sugarcube'."

I looked at Trixie, who had visibly winced when Pinkie gave this frank testimony to Trixie’s lie.

“So then Twilight showed up and started doing a bunch of magicky stuff, which calmed the Ursa down, put it to sleep, and sent it back where it came from.”

“Now that’s what I’d expect from a pony like Twilight,” I said, satisfied to hear that Twilight had indeed demonstrated impressive magic. 

Trixie gave me a sour look.

“And then Trixie just ran away, saying Twilight was still nothing compared to her. Then Twilight said-”

“Stop!” snapped Trixie, her expression livid. “I’ve heard enough of your infuriating recollections! All you've done is remind Trixie of why she should never have come back! Now, if you please, I want the two of you to leave, at once!”

“But, what about your side of the story?” I asked, flummoxed. “That was the point of our visit, to give you a chance to tell your version, out of fairness.”

“Fairness? You dare talk to me about fairness?” asked Trixie, in a dangerous tone. 

She got up from her bed and started advancing toward us, a glint of resentment in her eyes, and her horn aglow once more. Pinkie and I jumped up in turn and stepped away as she advanced, both of us very pensive as to what she might do.

“You don’t need to hear my side of the story,” said Trixie, in a passive-aggressive tone that transcended into full anger as she went on. “What good would it do? You already have a full and true account from this pony’s memories!” She pointed at Pinkie. “You already know the truth: The Great and Powerful Trixie is nothing but a fraud, a liar, a boaster, a sham! Everypony in the world can boo her, shun her, drive her out of town, leaving her to wallow in her own misery and broken dreams, while they get to go on with their lives, living happily ever after! Because that’s all that matters at the end of the day, isn’t it?!”

Her rant had reached fever pitch, and she was practically shrieking by this point. Pinkie and I were flattened against the wall. From my spot, though I was still very much mindful of the bitter unicorn, I couldn’t help but steal a glance at the wall-mounted plaque, which I now saw was a diploma. I could only read the larger words: Princess Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns, and the recipient was…‘Beatrix Lulamoon’? Was that Trixie’s real name?

“And you can tell little Miss Twilight Sparkle,” Trixie went on, bringing my eyes back to her, “that I don’t care how skilled at magic she thinks she is! She’s still the one who ruined me and drove me to a life of hunger and rejection, and I would die a happy mare to know that that haunted her every dream until the day of her death!”

I felt Pinkie’s forelegs close around me, and could feel her shuddering from fear at Trixie’s rage. I couldn’t exactly blame her.

At last, however, Trixie’s anger seemed to ebb away, and the glow vanished from her horn, though she still had a miserable expression on her face. She seemed to be fed up at last.

“Please, just go,” she said, quietly.

Pinkie and I looked at each other, and we silently agreed that this was all we could do. We passed Trixie and made our way out of the caravan, back into the clearing. As Trixie was going to close the door behind us, however, I said,

“You’re right, Trixie.” 

She looked up, surprised. 

“It’s not fair that you have to suffer like this, though I can’t say you didn’t bring it upon yourself partially.” She averted her eyes in a pained way. “I know you’re not a bad pony on the inside, and it’s never too late to make amends and right wrongs. Please, don’t just throw us out with ill feelings. We only want to help you.”

Trixie regarded me in silence for a little while, her expression sad, but she didn't answer. She let the closing of her door do that for her. Pinkie and I took our leave, the spring in our steps from earlier completely vanished by what we had just experienced.

> Melody and Heartstrings
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Ready for your most favorite game ever?”

“Hoo, boy, can’t wait to see how this goes.”

“Trust me, Davie, they love it!”

Although still disturbed from our meeting with Trixie, Pinkie and I had decided that, while the poor mare did indeed merit special consideration, it wouldn’t help matters if we just dwelt on it hour by hour. We’d resolved to meet her problem at the appropriate time, while also giving her space. Under this logic, we had returned to Sugarcube Corner, where, after lunch, my pastel-pink pal was preparing playtime with Pound and Pumpkin. Try saying that three times fast.

Pinkie’s idea of their favorite game was to position herself behind the swinging doors that led into the kitchen, standing on her hind legs. I was sitting, cross-legged, beside the curious toddler-foals. As I was seated, I became dimly aware of an odd movement against my wrist, and looking down, I saw that Pumpkin had put her little mouth around my wristwatch and was sucking on it.

“Ech!” I groaned, pulling my hand away. “Don’t don’t that, Pumpkin! You don’t know where it’s been.” 

The little filly just blinked at me in mute curiosity, and I wiped the watch as best I could with a corner of my shirt. 

“Good thing this thing’s waterproof,” I muttered.

“Where’s Pinkie Pie?” asked Pinkie, in a singsong voice. 

Then, without warning, she swung the doors open and popped her head through. 

“HERE I AM!”

“GAH!” I yelped, actually startled by the abruptness of her maneuver.

It did, however, succeed in making the babies laugh. Pinkie went back into position.

“Where’s Pinkie Pie?…HERE I AM!”

“How does she do that?” I asked, in feigned amazement, to the two, who gurgled with glee. 

Pinkie kept this up several times, delighting the twins each and every time, and I played along, making pretend shows of surprise at her every appearance. On one such time, however, she bounded right through the doors, perhaps out of an excess of enthusiasm, and I found myself sprawled on the floor with her on top of me, in a very Tigger-ish fashion. Pound and Pumpkin gurgled and giggled at the sight.

As much as it was uncomfortable to have her suddenly landing on me, as she wasn’t quite so light, seeing that big goofy smile on her face made all forgiven. Besides, after the scare I’d given her last night, I had to be more careful about her feelings. This, in itself, was unbelievable, as a week hadn’t even elapsed during my stay, and I‘d already been through so much. Now I knew how they felt on Namek…

“Something wrong, Davie?” Pinkie asked, somewhat concerned. “I didn’t land too hard, did I?”

“Eh? No, no, of course not, Pinkie. You didn’t do anything wrong, though I can certainly say I never saw it coming.”

“That’s the Pinkie Pie way: catch them when they least expect it!” said Pinkie, proudly.

“Is that how you do surprise parties?”

“Hey, yeah! You catch on quick!”

“Just a lucky guess.” 

Pinkie bounced off of me, and I was able to get back up. 

“So, is that all it takes to make these kids laugh?” I asked.

“Not always. Let me tell you, though, we go through a lot of flour just to keep them satisfied when they’re at their crankiest.”

“I’d imagine…Wait, did you say flour?” 

But Pinkie went on as if I hadn’t asked this question.

“And their taste in comedy, good grief! I throw out my best material at them, and not even a giggle!”

“Really? Well, I love a good joke every know and then, even the cornier stuff.”

“Ooh, you do? Let’s hear one!”

“Right now? ...Sure, why not?” 

“Yay!” 

Pinkie had a smile on her face that looked as if I’d just made her day. Then again, it was a lot like every other smile she had in her facial arsenal. I thought for a moment, then grinned as I remembered an old classic.

“Knock knock.”

“Who’s there?”

“Interrupting cow.”

“Interrupting c-”

“MOOOOO!”

Pinkie just stared, surprised. It seemed as if that variety of joke had slipped past her radar. Now for Phase 2.

“Knock knock.”

“Who’s there?”

“Interrupting sheep.”

“Interrupting sh-”

“BAAAAAA!”

Pinkie looked more confused than ever, but then, an expression of dawning comprehension came over her face,

“Ohhh,” she said to herself, and her grin returned. “Knock knock!”

“Who’s there?”

“Interrupting hoof.”

I raised an eyebrow, almost afraid of where she was gonna go with this.

“Interrupting h-”

“HONK!” 

And she booped my nose with her hoof. I chuckled.

“You catch on quick, don’t you?”

“Just a lucky guess,” she said, still grinning.

*WHACK!*

“YEOWCH!!” 

While we had been engaged in the jokes, Pound, thinking that he and his sister were being ignored, had taken it upon himself to restore our attention to them by slapping his little hooves down on my hand. The babies laughed at my grimace of pain, as they had done when we’d first encountered each other.

“Guess that’s Pound’s ‘interrupting hoof’,” said Pinkie, apologetically.

“Such delightful little tykes,” I muttered to myself, through clenched teeth. I then said, aloud, “Listen, Pinkie, I’m gonna go take a walk. I think the babies are safe enough in your hooves.”

“Okie-dokie-lokie!” said Pinkie. “It’s snack time anyway. Come on, Pound, Pumpkin!” 

With that, she scooped the toddler foals onto her back and carried them off toward the kitchen, while I stepped out, nursing my “Pound”-ed hand.


***


“If I develop arthritis because of that kid,” I muttered to myself as I went out, “and in my good hand, too. Then again, if he keeps that up, he might prove useful in the kitchen when he gets older, crushing nuts or pounding dough, long as he’s not pulverizing bones.”

Soon, though, my grumblings subsided, along with the pain in my hand, and I found myself wandering once more through the streets of Ponyville. To think how many times I must have wandered back and forth down this single street, yet I still didn’t completely know my way around. The only places I knew for sure were the paths to my friends’ houses. Well, never mind. There was plenty of time for that.

I paused to collect my thoughts and contemplate where I should go, when I suddenly became aware of music drifting through the air. It was low, deep, and sonorous, and seemed to be coming from a string instrument. As best I could, I followed it along the street to a colorfully painted candy shop, the sign above it reading 'Bon Bon’s Bonbons'. So this was where Lyra’s friend worked.

Wait a minute…Lyra! That was it! I was now in a perfect position to invite the human-crazy pony to the Q&A! With this in mind, I opened the door and stepped inside. A bell tinkled, but as the music was still playing, nopony was alerted to my entrance. I therefore stood off to the side so as not to disturb what I had just walked into.

Lyra and Bon Bon were seated on a pair of wooden stools, alongside, to my wonderment, Vinyl Scratch, the DJ from Pinkie’s party. They had their eyes on a mare who was standing before them on her hind legs, playing a cello that was even taller than herself, and it was this instrument that had drawn me to the candy shop. 

She had a light gray coat, with a black, neatly coiffed mane and tail, a slender, elegant figure, a white collar with a pink bow tie around her neck, and a cutie mark resembling a pink treble cleft. At first, how she was holding the bow to her cello in her hoof was a complete mystery to me. It was almost as if pony hooves were like magnets. However, by squinting my eyes, I saw that she actually had it clutched in her fore-ankle. Was that the right word for it?

The mare concluded her performance and opened her eyes, which had been closed as she played. They were mulberry pink and quite pretty. The ponies that made up her audience applauded, and she gave a short bow.

“Beautiful, Octavia! Simply beautiful!” said Bon Bon.

“Now, I haven’t got much of an ear for the classical stuff,” said Vinyl, in her laid-back way, “but you were awesome, Octy!”

Octavia? So this was Vinyl and Lyra’s friend from Canterlot, the symphony cellist. Had she come to Ponyville to visit her friends? She was such a stark contrast to them, with her elegant poise and lofty appearance. Even her rather muted coloring gave the impression that she wasn’t as loose as her companions.

Octavia tenderly lay her cello down in its case beside her, as if it were her baby, closed it up, and sat down next to Vinyl.

“I don’t recall giving you permission to call me ‘Octy’ in public, Vinyl,” she said, in a refined, even-tempered voice.	

“What, I gotta ask permission now?” asked Vinyl. “What are you, my mom? I don’t need anypony to tell me what I can or can’t do. I’m a free spirit, and no rule keeps its hold on DJ P0N-3.”

“Yes, your poor teachers back in school were a testament to that little credo of yours,” said Octavia, stiffly. 

Vinyl just scoffed.

“Lyra? What did you think?” asked Bon Bon, turning to her unicorn friend.

“Eh, it was decent,” she said, dismissively. 

Octavia merely raised an eyebrow.

“Decent,” she echoed. “I find it funny, Lyra, that you label my playing as ‘decent’ when it’s I, and not you, who is a member of the Canterlot Symphony Orchestra. Those who can’t display evidence of higher accomplishments should refrain from such baseless commentary.” 

Lyra’s cheeks colored.

“When did I ever say I wanted to be a part of that pack of stuck-up musical snobs?!”

“You were certainly very animated about being a member when we were fillies," said Octavia, with a knowing smirk. 

“That was back then, ok? I was young and stupid. Things change, Octy.” 

Now it was Octavia’s turn to blush as Vinyl roared with laughter. Lyra crossed her hooves and smirked with self-satisfaction. It was hard to tell whether or not they always treated each other like this, but I wanted to assume it really was all in good fun.

“Very well, Lyra, very well,” said Octavia, still in control, despite the embarrassment. “Yes, you were young and stupid back then. Now you’re just stupid.”

“Ooh! Burn!” hooted Vinyl. 

Lyra gave a short, derisive laugh.

“Like I haven’t heard that before.”

“Funny thing, actually," said Octavia. "Vinyl told me you finally managed to encounter one of your little ‘humans’ that you love to prattle on about. If it hadn’t been for the fact that this news came from her, and that, by her claim, he was a guest at a party she was attending as DJ, I would have simply classified it as another of your fantasies. As of now, I’m still doubtful.”

“Well, he’s not a fantasy!” said Lyra, sharply. “You’ll see him for yourself soon enough!”

(Sooner than you think.)

“Very well, Lyra,” said Octavia, in a more civil tone. “You’ve spoken your mind, now let’s hear your piece.”

“Thank you, Octavia.” 

Lyra stood up and trotted up to where Octavia had stood and played. Held in her unicorn’s telekinesis was a golden lyre, just like her cutie mark. Using another burst of her magic, she dragged her stool over behind her, and she sat down upon it. 

It’s funny how anyone can be visibly transformed just by the accompaniment of a musical instrument. Despite her rounded belly and messy mane, Lyra managed to look very refined, seated with the lyre held in front of her. She drew her hoof across the strings, and the shop became filled with an angelic reverberation of the chords. Then, as she began to play, she began to sing, and lo and behold, it was another song I knew. Somehow, someway, Equestria was cognizant of songs I knew back in the human world. Now there was something worth telling Twilight when I had the chance.

“A dream is a wish your heart makes

When you’re fast asleep

In dreams you lose your heartaches

Whatever you wish for, you keep...”

She had a beautiful voice to accompany her beautiful playing, proving that beneath her more casual appearance, she had the traits of a musical diva.

I couldn’t help myself. Even as the others started applauding as she finished, I joined in, stepping forward as I did so, foregoing my resolution to stay hidden a little longer. Of course, this additional applause drew their attention, and while Lyra, Bon Bon, and Vinyl looked delighted to see me, Octavia looked surprised, no doubt from having to now eat her own words at seeing the proof of Lyra’s tale.

“Lyra, that was absolutely charming,” I told the unicorn lyrist, making her beam in delight. “Hello, Bon Bon, Vinyl.”

“Hello, Dave.”

“‘Sup, bro?”

“And you, I presume, are Miss Octavia? Delighted.” 

I took her hoof in my hand and bowed. She still looked perplexed.

“Well,” she said, after a pause, “I can see that my friends were speaking the truth after all: there is a human in Ponyville. I must say, I never expected the first one I’d meet to be so…polite.”

“My good lady,” I said, “though other members of my species may not show much promise to it, many of us have risen beyond our primitive customs of clubbing each other with sticks and knocking each other’s brains out with rocks. I say that because, even today, unfortunately, some of my fellow humans still act like they belong in the age of the dinosaurs.”

“Trust me, I know the feeling,” said Octavia, wryly, giving a glance at Vinyl, who had begun head-banging to what I presumed to be a song in her head.

“If I may say so,” I said, “your music was splendid. It’s actually what drew me here.”

“Really, now? You’re too kind.”

“No, no, I mean it. Lyra wasn’t joking when she said you were a celebrated cellist of the symphony orchestra.”

“Oh, she did, did she?” asked Octavia, amused. 

She glanced at Lyra, who averted her eyes. 

“A ‘celebrated cellist’, you told him? Yet you just told me, only a few minutes ago, that my music was ‘decent’.”

“Ok, ok, you made your point,” muttered Lyra. “You were better than decent, Octavia. You were fantastic.”

“Thank you, Lyra. You were quite splendid yourself, I must say.” 

Lyra looked up, and saw that Octavia was actually smiling, so she smiled in return.

“Well, now that we’ve got that out of the way,” I said, clapping my hands together, “I’m here to deliver a message.”

“A message? For who?” asked Bon Bon.

“For Lyra.”

“Me?”

“Is there somewhere we could discuss this in private? I’d like for it to remain a bit more on the confidential side.”

“Uh, sure. Is it all right if we use the storeroom, Bonnie?”

“Of course, go ahead."

Lyra led me away into the back, while the conversation renewed between Bon Bon and the two musicians.


***
	

Lyra took me into the storeroom of the candy shop, which was packed with shelf upon shelf of jarred and boxed confections: chocolate, sweet, sour, fruity, chewy, crunchy. Being possessed of a rather strong sweet tooth, I felt like a kid in a, well, a candy store.

"So, what’s this message you’ve got for me?” Lyra asked.

I cleared my throat and stood as if I were delivering a telegram.

“Miss Lyra Heartstrings, it is my warm and distinct pleasure to announce a Q&A I’m conducting with Miss Twilight Sparkle, the purpose of which will be to answer and discuss questions and topics concerning the human world, as best as I can describe to my knowledge. Seeing as you have a strong interest in the subject of humans, I thought it wouldn’t hurt to ask if you would be interested in attending.”

I paused, waiting to hear Lyra’s answer. She just stared at me with those orange eyes, looking as if her brain had just blue-screened. Then, without warning, she let out a high-pitched squeal equal to that of a teenage girl being asked out on her first date, and then began bouncing around me like an overjoyed rabbit, spouting a long string of “Thankyouthankyouthankyou”s until the individual words became nearly indistinguishable.

“So, that’s a yes?” I asked.

“Oh, praise Celestia, yes!” she said, finally stopping in front of me. “Dave, you have no idea how long I’ve waited for a moment like this! Finally, finally, I’m gonna get the answers I’ve been waiting for!” 

She looked so happy that she actually started to cry. Smiling gently, I ruffled her mane.

“You deserve it, Lyra, after being labeled crazy for so long. It’ll be tomorrow at 2, Twilight’s library. Sound good?”

“Sounds perfect! I’ll be there! Oh, thanks again, Dave. Thank you, thank you, thank you!” 

She threw her hooves around my neck in a hug and, to my utter bewilderment, planted a kiss on my cheek.

This had to be, what, the third time I’d been kissed by a pony? First was Berry Punch, who was intoxicated at the time, and then Pinkie, out of grateful affection for having me back safe and sound. Still, I suppose I could forgive Lyra for this one, seeing as how I was practically inviting her to make her biggest wish in the world come true. It was understandable that she’d react so strongly.

“You’re very welcome, Lyra,” I said, giving her a small squeeze-hug. “Now, I’d hate to leave you like this, but this is really all I came for. On the other hand, since this is my first time here, is there anything you’d recommend for a first time patron of Bon Bon’s Bonbons, seeing as how you have a close affiliation with the owner?”

“Definitely!” said Lyra, her eyes lighting up. “I’ll see what Bonnie can ring up for you. It’s the least I can do for this humongous favor you’re doing me!”

“In all truth, Lyra, I’d have done it for nothing but to see you smile because of it, but I’ll gladly take you up on your offer.”

“Great!” 

With that, she got back on all fours and led me back out into the main shop, starting to list off what were, in her opinion, Bon Bon’s chief delicacies, and which she guaranteed I would have a generous sample of to take with me. I resolved to save some for Pinkie, as I highly doubted I could eat all I’d be offered by myself.
> The Calm Before the Plunge
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“So, Twilight’s gonna ask you questions about your world?”

“Yep.”

“And that’s what ‘tomorrow at 2’ meant?”

“Pretty much.”

“And Lyra’s sitting in on it, too?”

“Uh-huh”

“And that’s why you got this huge bag of candy?”

“Correct.”

“And you wanted to share it with me?”

“Who else would I share it with, you silly pony?”

Pinkie giggled, snuggling against me. The two of us were stretched out on my bed, side by side, sharing from the bag of sweets Lyra had helped me make, composed of a smorgasbord of the candies the mint-green lyrist had recommended the most. I had to give her credit: she knew her sweets.

When I’d rejoined Pinkie, the twins had been put to their cribs for a nap, and she had instantly glued her eyes to the bag of candy I was carrying, as if she were a puppy seeing a new chew toy in its master’s hand. I’d told her it was for us to split, and that I’d had something important to tell her. I saw no reason why I had to keep my appointment a secret; what harm could come from it?

I’d eaten all I could (I’d mainly tried to have one of each piece to get a balanced sampling), and it was all magnificently decadent, but Pinkie must have had some corners to fill in that gut of hers, as she kept chowing down. Had she completely forgotten that she was, in fact, capable of an overloaded stomach?

“Boy,” I said, when she finally paused, “you sure know how to put it all away.”

“Grammy Pie always told me I’d win the ‘Cleanest Plate’ Award if one existed,” said Pinkie, giving her satisfied belly a pat.

“Well, believe it or not, but I used to be super-picky as a kid. I’d pick apart everything on my plate just to get rid of the stuff I didn’t like. Then I’d eat the stuff I liked less first, just to save the good stuff for last.”

“If you were super-picky,” asked Pinkie, “how did you get so super-tall?”

"That’s one of the things everyone asks me back in my world: how the heck did you get so tall? I never have an answer for them.”

Come to think of it, beyond the candy, my eating habits had been reasonably healthy ever since arriving. Granted, it had only been about 5 days, but so far I couldn’t complain about Equestrian cuisine. I wondered if I'd be any thinner by the time I headed back.

“Davie?” asked Pinkie.

“Hm? What’s wrong, Pinkie? Not another stomachache, I hope.”

“No, it’s not that. It’s just, can I ask you to be super-duper honest with me?”

“Of course.”

“Super-duper-completely-no-sugarcoating honest?”

“Pinkie, you’re starting to scare me. What is it?”

“Do you think I’m fat?”

I blinked. That was it? That’s what she was making me swear honesty to? Then again, girls and women always seemed to be touchy on the subject of their weight.

Was she fat? Well, that might be going a little too far. She certainly wasn’t skinny, but she also wasn’t fat fat. She just had a more noticeable belly than most, and was a little plumper in the hip area, but was fine other than that. Where was this even coming from?

"It's not because of what Trixie said, is it?" I asked.

"Well, kinda," said Pinkie. "I mean, I didn't want it to bug me, but I never really noticed how big my tummy is until she brought it up."

“I guess that makes sense," I said. "Well, you want me to be honest?" 

Pinkie nodded.

"Here’s my honest opinion, then. You are a little bigger than the average pony. You've got a bit of a belly, but why should that be anything to be ashamed of? If anything, I think it adds to your charm. It makes you look…jolly, huggable.” 

I poked her gut playfully, bringing a smile to her face. 

“Besides, who wants to have a body like a twig? Yeah, people (and ponies) like that are thin, but are they happy? That’s the major point, Pinkie: if you’re happy with how you are, what’s there to question?”

Pinkie's smile broadened until it was her usual grin.

“Now, take Trixie, for example. Did you even see her? She’s so thin I could see her ribs through her coat. ‘Most sophisticated diet’, my eye. If she’s on a ‘sophisticated diet’, I’m a hippogriff.”

Pinkie giggled.

“You’re right, Davie. It was silly, letting Trixie get in my head. Now there’s a scary thought: having a pony actually inside your head. How much would that hurt? What if you got a headache? Or a brain freeze? Would they feel it too?”

“At least you’re still the same Pinkie in other aspects,” I joked, pulling her into a side hug. 

Pinkie grinned and nestled against me. Speaking of Trixie, though, it was a little disheartening to imagine that living alone in her caravan wasn’t allowing her to get enough to eat. If only there was a way to help her without making her believe I made her out to be helpless. That would just agitate her ego.

“Speaking of twigs," Pinkie said, "did you know Fluttershy wants to be a tree?”

“What?” I asked, surprised, but in an amused way.

“Uh-huh. She said herself, ‘I’d like to be a tree’, when Dashie thought she was a tree.”

“Rainbow Dash thought she was a tree?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

“She said she was a tree," said Pinkie, "but Fluttershy’s not a tree. I swear, Rainbow Dash is so silly sometimes.”

“Well, putting aside how absolutely ludicrous a thing that is for Rainbow to say," I said, "why would Fluttershy want to be a tree? Yeah, I know she loves nature, and I think it’s a sweet thought, but if she were a tree, we’d lose the pegasus we know and love.”

“I never thought of it like that,” said Pinkie, tapping her chin with her hoof. “If Fluttershy were a tree, she wouldn’t be as nice to hug. She’d be bigger, but she wouldn’t be as soft or warm."

She was silent for a moment, then slapped her hoof onto her foreleg in a decisive way.

"That settles it! Davie, when you go to Twilight’s tomorrow, I want you to do something for me.”

“And what’s that?”

“Make sure she hasn’t found a spell to turn ponies into trees! We have to get to her before Fluttershy gets the idea into her head!”

I was so bewildered by such a request that it took me a bit to answer.

“I’ll certainly see what I can do,” I said, not willing to question Pinkie’s logic.


***


The next day, I was up and about earlier than usual.  I was too anxious of what was to come. I was showered and dressed so early that I was downstairs before Pinkie was even in the kitchen. Still, as I sat and waited for the others to come down, I reflected that it was Sunday, after all, and that I should still observe it, even if I was away from home. So thinking, I closed my eyes, clasped my hands, and prayed silently,

“Heavenly Father, if you can hear me all the way across different worlds, I thank you for preserving me thus far as I’ve spent my time in this land of Equestria, helping me to live among these strange but friendly equines. I ask that you continue to guide me in what you believe is the right course of action for me to take. Help give me the wisdom and clarity I require for this interview I’m about to undertake. I pray this in the name of your holy son, Jesus Christ, amen.”

After this, I sat and waited at my usual table, but Pinkie still didn't show up. The minutes ticked by, and there was no sight of her, nor any sound of her hooves on the stairs. Had she slept in? Was she preoccupied in another matter? Had something happened?

Finally, when 10 minutes had gone by, I decided to head upstairs and check on her. I’d hardly reached the stairs, however, before I heard hoof steps. I stepped back, and down came Pinkie, but her appearance made me stop short.

Her mane was still in its Pinkie Frizzle, but her face…There was a transfixed look in her pale blue eyes, as if she had seen a ghost. It was the face of someone who had seen the unspeakable, and was still not over the shock of it.

What could have possibly happened? Was one of the babies ill? Was it something with Gummy? What had brought that haunted look into her eyes?

“Pinkie?” 

She didn’t answer. I walked over and, wondering if it even worked outside the cartoons, waved my hand in front of her eyes. They never moved. I snapped my fingers close by her ear. Still nothing.

“Pinkie?”

“…Gone…All gone…” she murmured.

“What?”

“Gone…Never said goodbye…All gone…”

“Pinkie, what are you talking about?” 

The dead monotone she was using jarred me considerably. A cold sweat had broken out all over me as I wondered what the hay had happened to my dear friend.

“Mom…Dad…Marble...Limestone…Maud...Grammy…All gone…Never said goodbye…”

I couldn’t stand it anymore.

“Pinkie! Snap out of it! Wake up!” 

I grabbed her shoulders and shook her, trying to break her out of it. For a moment, it seemed as if my attempt was in vain, but then, her eyes refocused. She blinked several times in a dazed way.

“Davie? Is that you?” she asked, a tone of urgent relief in her voice, as if she wanted to be sure it was me.

“I’m here, Pinkie. It’s all right,” I said, relieved to have her back to her senses.

“Oh, Davie," Pinkie whimpered. "I had the worst dream. I dreamed the farm was empty, and there was nopony left. My parents and sisters were all gone, and I didn’t even know where they were…” 

Tears began to well up in her eyes. 

“They were all gone, and I’d never even said goodbye…”

Oh, Pinkie...Just the same as I felt…

“Pinkie, that’s horrible,” I said, softly.

I put my arms around her comfortingly, and I felt her hooves wrap around me as well. She didn’t break into sobs, but the tears just sort of ran down her face.

“I think I need some time alone to think,” she said, quietly.

“Of course, Pinkie,” I said, gently. “I understand.” 

I got up and headed for the door.

“Wait!” she called. 

I paused, and she went into the kitchen, returning with a blueberry muffin, which she placed into my hand. 

“Sorry I didn’t have time to make breakfast.”

“It’s ok, Pinkie," I said, with a smile. "This’ll do nicely. I’ll see you later, ok? And don’t fret about it. It was just a dream.”

“Ok. Good luck with your interview thingy.”

“Thanks.” 

I bent down and gave her another gentle squeeze-hug, which seemed to relieve some of her earlier anxiety, as I saw a little smile on her face. I took my leave of her, chewing my muffin meditatively, wondering if it was really wise to leave her in such a state, but when I turned back around, she’d already gone back inside.


***


I need not describe all the mundane things I did as I waited for the appointed hour. I mostly milled around, doing what I could to make my Ponyvillian surroundings stick more familiarly in my brain. Of course, there was Sugarcube Corner, Carousel Boutique, the library, the marketplace, and Bon Bon’s Bonbons, but there were other shops and buildings that had escaped my notice before. 

There was a store called “Quills and Sofas”, which was one of those 'exactly what it says on the tin' stores: all they sold were feather quills and sofas. There was a fan shop owned by a pony named Mr. Breezy (very apt name, I must say). There was an outdoor café, a bowling alley, a hardware store, a jewelry store, a book shop, a joke shop, and a spa. This last building must have been where Rarity and Fluttershy had their weekly get-togethers.

Hardest to miss of all was the enormous tower in the very center of town, surrounded by a roofed porch. Upon asking a passerby, I learned it was the town hall, and had recently undergone some roof renovations after a certain accident that had taken place. When I asked what kind of accident it was, I was told that it was ‘best not to discuss it’, so I dropped the matter.

Outside the business district and general town area, there was the Ponyville schoolhouse (closed today, obviously), along with a clock tower and a hospital. Last of all was a train station, with trains that wound their way all across Equestria, particularly to Canterlot, though there were also connections to 'Manehattan', 'Fillydelphia', and 'Appleloosa'. It nearly made me groan aloud to hear more punny pony names.

In a word, Ponyville seemed to be a town provided for in every aspect. It was clean, humble, busy, and not bad on the eyes, either. If this was Ponyville, though, I wondered what Canterlot or Manehattan or any of these other towns must look like. I expected that, soon enough, I would hopefully be getting a glimpse of the former.

I had no real other aims than to just wander about, and was taking a stroll through the park, when I became vaguely aware that I was being followed. I grimly wondered if it wasn’t, after all, Ironmane, dogging me once again. Upon turning around, however, I saw that it wasn’t him, but two young unicorn colts, around the Crusaders’ ages. One was short and stout with a blue coat, an orange mane and tail, bushy eyebrows, and prominent buck teeth. His cutie mark was a pair of scissors. The other was very lanky and skinny, with a golden-yellow coat and bluish mane. His cutie mark was a snail.

“Can I help you kids?” I asked. 

Neither one spoke at first. They just goggled up at me, as if amazed by what they were seeing.

“He’s tall,” said the yellow colt, in the kind of voice one would expect to hear, in the cartoons, from a dopey, dull-witted sidekick.

“He’s a giant!” said the blue colt, in a rather high-pitched voice.

“Um, thanks, I think,” I said, confused. “Who are you two?”

“Snips and Snails, oh giant from another world,” said the blue colt, bowing low to the ground. 

He must have been Snips, given the scissors cutie mark. His friend, Snails, did the same.

Snips and Snails. So these were the two rascals who had tried to prove Trixie really was Great and Powerful. They didn’t seem like bad colts, but didn't give off an impression of great intelligence.

“Come on, kids, none of that,” I said, half-amused, half-annoyed. “I’m not some fierce deity come down to speak among the mortals. I’m just an ordinary guy, and I’d prefer to be treated as such.”

“So humble,” said Snips. 

Snails nodded fervently in agreement.

“Is there a reason you two were tailing me?” I asked.

“We heard about you from our friends,” said Snails, “and we had to see if you really did exist.”

“Your friends? I’m guessing you mean Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo.”

“Yeah! Them!” said Snails, eagerly.

“And you didn’t believe them at first?”

“Well, they’re always doing something crazy,” said Snips, “so we thought they were just pretending.”

“I see. I understand your suspicions, then. I know about you two, though,” I added, crossing my arms. 

“Y-You do?” asked Snips, surprised.

“I heard from the grapevine that you two were involved in the antics of a certain great and powerful pony.”

“Oh,” said Snips, dejectedly. 

Both hung their heads.

“We didn’t mean any harm,” said Snails. “We just wanted to see her vanquish an Ursa Major, like she said she did.”

“I got that impression,” I said, “and while I can’t say it was very smart of you, I sort of understand why you’d go to the trouble. Still, I certainly hope you haven’t tried any such shenanigans again.”

“No, sir!” said Snips, emphatically. “Scout’s honor!”

“But, we’re not scouts,” said Snails, dully. 

Snips shushed him sharply.

“Did you kids hear that Trixie was back in town?” I asked.

This perked their interest back up.

“Yeah, we did,” said Snails, shuffling his hoof awkwardly, “but, we didn’t think she’d wanna see us.”

“Not after what happened last time,” said Snips.

“Yeah, I can imagine she wouldn’t be too happy. But come on, I’m not here to make you two feel bad about what happened. It’s all in the past, and all we can do is pave the way for the future, right?”

“Filling children’s heads with your other-worldly ideas, human?”

That voice…My innards contracted upon hearing it. Sure enough, standing right behind the two colts was Ironmane himself. Snips and Snails whipped around, surprised by the sudden appearance.

“You two can run along. I have something I wish to discuss with your friend here.” 

Snips and Snails looked up at me, as if asking whether or not to obey. Frankly, I’d rather not have Ironmane around at all, but him and me, one-on-one, was better than having other ponies listening in.

“It’s all right, boys," I said. "You can run along. Maybe we’ll meet up again sometime.” 

This brought the smiles back to their faces.

“Bye!” they both said, galloping off, laughing giddily to themselves about what they had just experienced.

“Well, human, it seems you’ve surpassed my expectations,” said Ironmane, as soon as they were out of sight.

“Before I ask how that is, Minister,” I said, “may I ask you something else?”

Ironmane raised an eyebrow.

“You may,” he said, “but whether or not I answer is up to me.”

“Are you staying in Ponyville or something? I figured you’d be up in Canterlot.”

“I do normally reside in Canterlot,” he answered, crisply, “but I thought the more countrified air of Ponyville would do me wonders, after being in the metropolis so long. I’m not as spry as I used to be, you understand.”

(There‘s a shocker.) 

“And it has nothing to do with my presence?” I asked.

“Paranoid, are we?” he asked.

“It was only a simple question,” I replied. “Unless you’re implying that there’s something to be paranoid about.” 

Ironmane said nothing to that, but went on.

“It is true that the alert of a non-Equestrian called me to Ponyville, but I decided to stay on for a few more days and enjoy the more rural setting. I depart for Canterlot again tomorrow.”

“Well, I wish you safe travels, then,” I said, as a generality, though in all honesty, I’m not sure I meant it.

“Quite,” said Ironmane, in a tone that seemed to imply that he guessed what I was really thinking. “Now then,” he continued, “you remember our little meeting yesterday?”

“How could I forget?”

“Well, it surprises me that in the short interval between then and now, you actually managed to secure a dwelling for that poor little filly.”

“Are you sure it was surprise and not dashed hopes?” I asked, wryly.

“Sir,” said Ironmane, sternly, "I do not appreciate such vulgar implications. How could I sleep at night knowing that there was an innocent foal, homeless and wandering, and I had done nothing to help?”

I was tempted to say ‘Easy, just lay your head down and close your eyes. Problem solved’, but that would have been in bad taste, especially since we were talking about Scootaloo.

“Perhaps that was wrong of me to say,” I admitted, “but yes, I fortunately found someone willing to take her in.”

“And I heard you even had Miss Sparkle carry out the paperwork," said Ironmane. "Very wise of you to choose someone so learned to perform the transactions.”

“I’m guessing you know Twilight?”

“Certainly. I was in Her Majesty’s service even when Miss Sparkle was just a filly in her tutelage.”

“Would you call yourself familiar with her?” I asked, curious.

“Well, not ‘familiar’, per se, but we at least were acquainted. I was too caught up in my duties to so her frequently.” 

At this moment, he gave a slight chuckle, as if in fond remembrance. 

“But she did sometimes want to ask me about the creatures I’d be appointed to supervise. Such an eager little filly…”

This was utterly perplexing. All this time, I’d been under the impression that Ironmane was a cold, emotionless pony with something against humans. Now, here he was, fondly remembering a moment with Twilight. I didn’t know what to think, but I still didn’t want to let my guard down just yet. It might be true, or it might be a ruse. I still didn’t trust him.

Whatever the case, Ironmane cleared his throat.

“Yes, well, at any rate, I congratulate you in your endeavors.”	

“Thank you, Minister.”

“However,” he added, emphatically, looking me straight in the eyes, “do not get a swelled head about your accomplishments, human. Everyone’s luck runs out in the end, so take care not to spend it all at once. Am I clear?”

“Transparent,” I said, flatly.

“And be mindful of what you tell your peers. We wouldn’t want them getting, well, let’s call them the ‘wrong ideas’ about what they don’t understand. Leave that to the proper authorities. Understood?”

It took me a moment to answer. I felt indignant that this would be said within mere hours of my meeting with Twilight. Still, I finally said,

“Yes, Minister.”

“Good. Now, as I do not think we shall meet again for a while, unless you pull another fiasco such as the one in the Everfree Forest, I bid you goodbye and good luck here. Farewell, human.”

“Farewell, Minister,” I said. 

He turned sharply around and marched off down the way he’d arrived.

“…And good riddance,” I added, bitterly, when he was out of earshot. 

Even if that might not be the last I saw of him, it was a relief to think that he was out of my hair for now, and would be back in Canterlot. I figured maybe I would ask Twilight about him, see what her opinion of him was.

Speaking of Twilight, I saw, glancing at my watch, that it was nearing 11:00. I’d been out and about for at least three hours and hadn’t even realized it. I still had three more to go, so I decided to go grab lunch somewhere and then arrive a little early to the library, just to be prepared. With this in mind, I turned my steps back towards town.

> The Q&A
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Dave! Welcome! You’re early!”

“Hey, Twilight. Yeah, sorry, it’s a habit of mine. I hope I’m not intruding.”

“Not at all! Come in, come in!”

It was half past 1. After I’d grabbed lunch at a small café (being careful about my bits), I sat and relaxed around the town square before eventually heading to the library. 

Twilight was looking very bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, and even seemed to be dancing on the tips of her hooves in excitement, with the air of an eager school girl. I could see, behind her, several notepads, quills, and ink wells set up. She seemed completely prepared.

“I see you’re all ready to go,” I said, stepping inside.

“Yep!” said Twilight. “Are you?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be," I said. "I just wanna warn you beforehand, I’m no expert on the world by any means. I can only answer within my own capacity.”

“Oh, I’m sure you’ll do just fine," said Twilight, airily. "Just do the best you can.”

(Ok, she’s accepting that I’m not a perfect genius. That’s a good start right there.)

“Did you tell Lyra yet?” Twilight asked.

“Yes, yesterday, in fact. She was very much excited.”

“Good! I knew she would be.”

“While we’re on the subject," I said, "I heard you handled Scootaloo’s adoption nicely.”

“Well, the paperwork was a little tedious," said Twilight, "but I had the mayor’s complete support. Scootaloo is now officially a member of the Hooves family.”

“That’s great. All I can hope for is that she’s where she belongs."

"I'm sure she is," said Twilight, gently. "Your heart was definitely in the right place."

I felt my cheeks go warm at this.

"Can I get you anything, since you’re early?” she asked.

“Oh, well, do you have any bottled water? I’m not used to talking for very long, so I might get a little sore-throated.”

“Certainly! I’ll be right back.” 

She trotted off to the kitchen as I settled down on the sofa. Presently, I heard a sound like ice cubes being loaded into something metal, and the next moment, Twilight returned with a bucket full of ice, several water bottles sticking out of it.

“Oh, nice!” I said, gratefully. “Thanks, Twi.”

“You’re welcome," she said, setting it gingerly down on the floor.

“Is Spike planning on listening in?”

“He’ll be down shortly. I had a few messages that needed to be sent to Princess Celestia, and he’s just sending them off.”

“Oh, so you write to her beyond these friendship reports you mentioned?”

“Of course! Princess Celestia’s more than our ruler and my teacher. She’s somepony I can confide in, somepony who understands me completely, in a fair, unbiased way.”

“You mean, not just based on the fact that you’re her student?”

“Exactly," she said, an enthusiastic twinkle appeared in her eyes. “Oh, I just can’t wait for the day when you meet her! She’ll absolutely adore you!”

“Oh, I dunno about that," I said, awkwardly. "I live a pretty dull life back in my world: reading, video games, story writing-”

“Dull?” asked Twilight, surprised. “Why would you ever think reading was dull?”

“Well, I guess because I never really get out much.”

“Hey, I don’t get out much, either," said Twilight, "but I never think reading’s dull.”

“Well, sure, you wouldn’t," I retorted. "You’re a librarian.”	

Twilight giggled. 

“That’s true, but my point still stands.”

“I know, I know. I just don’t want to end up a complete shut-in. At least you’ve got friends you can see almost every day.”

“Don’t you?” asked Twilight.

“Sort of," I said. "Most of the people I talk to communicate with me through..."

I paused, trying to find the right word. Did ponies even know what emails, texts, or instant messages were?"

"Impersonal correspondence,” I said, finally.

“Like mail?” asked Twilight.

“Yeah, something like that. Really, it all changed after I moved from where I’d been born.”

“Oh, I see," said Twilight, sympathetically. "Well, to be perfectly frank, it was sort of the opposite with me. I didn’t have many friends back in Canterlot, but after moving to Ponyville, well, you can guess what happened.”

“You’re one of the lucky ones, Twi.”

“I certainly am,” she said, though in a grateful tone, not a bragging one. “It’s almost funny. If it hadn’t been for Nightmare Moon, I wouldn’t have ever met all of my dear friends.”

“So, you’re grateful that Princess Luna turned into a psychotic despot bent on covering the world in darkness?” I asked, wryly.

“No!" said Twilight, sounding scandalized. "That’s not what I meant at all! How could you say such a thing?!”

“Relax, relax, I wasn’t being serious," I said, holding up my hands placatingly. "What I meant was that it’s a weird turn of events, the coming of a universally-feared villain being the keystone to forming your circle of friends. It’s like something out of a superhero movie or a comic book.”

Twilight's features relaxed as she reflected upon this.

“Yeah, I suppose so,” she said.

“It reminds me of a quote I once heard: ‘There are some things you can’t share without ending up liking each other, and knocking out a twelve-foot mountain troll is one of them’.”

“I know that quote!” said Twilight, excitedly. “Harry Trotter and the Philosopher’s Stone!”

“Right! Although, it’s Harry Potterin our world.”

“Potter? Was he a gardener or something?” asked Twilight, skeptically.

This made me burst out in a fit of laughter, though Twilight must not have seen the humor in it as I did. 

“So, we’ve still got some time before we officially begin,” she said. “There’s actually a part of the library I haven’t shown you yet.”

“Oh? What’s that?”

“Come on. I’ll show you.”

She led me to a door I hadn’t noticed before, opening it to reveal a staircase leading downwards. The two of us descended into a chamber where the very roots of the tree seemed to extend. She had a basement? I’d had no idea.

Well, perhaps 'basement' wasn’t the right word. As I stepped down the long flight of steps, I could see large, complex machinery, Bunsen burners, shelves lined with flasks, beakers, and test tubes, and a bookcase lined with several books and jars filled with miscellany, kind of like Zecora’s stock. 

Was this really…? It was! I was descending into an honest-to-goodness laboratory!

“Twilight!” I said, astounded. “I knew you were a librarian, and I knew you were the Princess’s student, but when did you become a scientist?”

“I’m glad you didn’t add the adjective ‘mad’ before that,” said Twilight, amused at my stunned expression. “I've always had a passion for science. My studies often require me to perform some chemistry experiments, and luckily enough, the library had this big underground chamber when I moved in. What better place to have a private workroom for delicate chemical work?”

“Very clever, indeed.”

As my eyes roved the shelves, they became fixed on one labeled “Spellborn Potions”. What in the world did that mean? I stepped closer, and saw that they were all labeled with Latin-ish names translated parenthetically below. One containing a shimmering pinkish liquid was entitled “Desidero Egeo (Want it, Need it)”. Another one, filled with an inky, blackish solution, read “Instant Mustache”. Yet another, which was a silvery white, had a label saying “Nimbus Spatior (Cloud Walk)”.

“What are all these?” I asked.

“Ahh,” said Twilight, coming over. “These are the fruits of several months’ labor: potions based off of real unicorn spells.”

“You can do that?” I asked, impressed.

“Star Swirl the Bearded had conducted similar experiments in his time. I decided to give it a whirl myself!”

“I think you mentioned his name before, but who was he?”

“Only the most influential mind in Equestrian history!” said Twilight, energetically. “He was a genius! He created over 200 different spells, including the amniomorphic spell and a time travel spell!”

“No way! Time travel? Wild!”

“I know, right? Even Princess Celestia holds high regards for his achievements.”

“Wow. When royalty holds someone in high esteem, you know they’re the tops. So, you turned spells into potions? What do some of these do?”

“That one on the far left," Twilight said, pointing it out, "the ‘Want It, Need It” potion, is a highly risky one. When something is imbibed with it, whoever lays eyes on it is ensnared with an uncontrollable desire to possess and keep it.”

“Whoa. That sounds dangerous.”

“It is," said Twilight, ruefully. "It’s not a spell I’m proud to know, after recent events.”

“Recent events?” I asked.

“I’d rather not say.”

Was Twilight implying that she...? Nah, she wouldn't be that careless with such a dangerous spell.

“Well, how about this one, the inky stuff?” I asked, trying to change the subject.

“That’s Spike’s favorite," said Twilight, with a grin. "Made from Spell #25. It creates a full mustache on the subject.”

“A full mustache? I’ve always wanted to know what it feels like to have one! Can I try it?”

“Well, I can’t exactly hand out the potion willy-nilly," said Twilight. "I haven't conducted proper tests with them yet, but I can use the actual spell.”

“Neat!" I said, eagerly, before a sudden thought hit me. "Wait, is it gonna hurt?”

“Spike’s never complained yet,” said Twilight.

“Well, I guess that’s good enough for me.”

“All right, then. Hold still.”

Twilight closed her eyes, and her horn began to glow a pinkish-purple. The same glow began to shine around my upper lip, and while it didn’t hurt, it did feel very tickly, as if something was crawling along my face, and I fancied that I smelled aftershave. Then, with a poof, and a warmth that came to my lip with astonishing quickness, I beheld a festival of black hair right beneath my nose. Twilight reopened her eyes and gave a small gasp.

“Goodness! It’s like you’re a completely different person!”

“Do you have a mirror? " I asked. "I wanna see it!”

Twilight turned her attention to a desk drawer, opened it with her magic to reveal a circular hand mirror, and floated it into my hand. I blinked. The face that stared back was certainly mine, but my entire upper lip had become the home of a black walrus mustache.

“Whoa! I never envisioned myself as the ‘walrus’ type.” I chuckled. “Where’s a monocle when you need one?” 

I ran my fingers through the mustache and said, in an imitation of a British accent, 

“I say, Miss Twilight, you’ve done a marvelous job with that spell of yours. Perhaps we could pop on over to Lady Rarity’s and see how she’s faring today, maybe have a chat over a glass of brandy, eh wot?”

Twilight giggled. 

“You’re such a card.”

“Although, I’d have to say,” I said, in my normal voice, “I might scare a few ponies with this new look. I hardly recognize myself.”

“Hold that thought, then,” said Twilight, as her horn flared up again. 

With another poof, my new mustache vanished from my face.

“If making mustaches is your 25th spell,” I said, rubbing my lip where it had been, “I’d hate to know your more dangerous spells.”

“Magic isn’t meant to be a weapon,” said Twilight, sagely. “It’s a gift to benefit pony kind, however it may be bestowed.”

“Well said,” I said, impressed. 

I turned my attention back to the shelf. 

“And how about this whitish one?”

“That one’s a personal favorite of mine,” said Twilight. “It allows ponies to walk on clouds.”

“Walk on clouds?!" I asked, astounded. "You can do that?”

“Amazing, isn’t it? I’ll have to show it to you sometime. Then maybe Rainbow Dash could give you a tour of Cloudsdale. You could take a hot air balloon and go for a day trip!"

My stomach twinged nervously.

“Hot air balloon?" I asked. "I’ve never actually been in one before. See, the thing is, I kinda have this thing with heights, and I only now just remembered. As much as I'd like to see Cloudsdale for myself, I'm not sure I could handle it just yet.”

“Oh, that’s nothing to be ashamed of,” said Twilight, gently. “We’re not going to rush you anytime soon. We’ve got plenty of time.”

'Plenty of time'. The casual way she threw those words out resonated in my head.

It was weird how often I thought of how much time I’d have to get to know Ponyville or its inhabitants, or how long before I’d meet Princess Celestia, but it got me wondering once again: just how long was it going to take before I’d be able to head back home? Would it be any different? Would any time have passed at all? Or was it going to be some ‘Narnian’ thing where I could spend weeks, months, even years in this world, and yet not even a millisecond would pass back in my own world? All I really wanted was to know if my leaving had had any effect back home, or if my fears of going missing were unfounded.

“Twilight! Dave!” called Spike from upstairs, shaking me out of my mental stupor. “We’ve got company!”

“Oh! That must be Lyra,” said Twilight. “Come on, Dave, it’s show time!”

“R-right. Show time.”

Twilight ascended the staircase, and I moved to follow, though I cast one last glance at the shelf of liquid magic, with its numerous, multicolored occupants. If Twilight had already made those kinds of spells into potions, who knows what she’d move on to do next? Maybe she’d make something much stronger than a cloud-walking spell or an instant mustache spell...

There was no time to wonder about that now. Now, it was time for the Q&A.


***


Sure enough, just as Spike had said, Lyra was waiting for us, a huge grin on her face. As soon as we made our appearance, she pounced and threw her hooves around Twilight’s neck.

“Twilight! It’s so good to see you!”

“Aw, Lyra, it’s good to see you too,” said Twilight, kindly in spite of the surprise maneuver. “When’s the last time we’ve ever actually been able to sit down and talk like this?”

This put Lyra in a contemplative mood, and she released her hold on Twilight to stroke her chin in thought.

“Hmm. Now that I think about it, I can’t remember another time.”

This answer seemed to hit Twilight hard, and her ears went flat.

"I was afraid of that," she said, sadly. “Lyra, you were one of my neighbors back in Canterlot, and yet I didn’t pay even the slightest attention when you were trying to grab mine. I’d hardly even paid a mind to the fact that you moved to Ponyville shortly after I did. We’ve lived in the same town all this time, yet we’ve hardly spoken to each other. For pony’s sake, you were a bridesmaid at the royal wedding!" she suddenly shouted, distressed. "How could I not have realized that?!”

“Twilight, Twilight!” said Lyra, in a concerned, placating tone, putting her hoof onto Twilight’s shoulder. “Settle down. I’m not angry with you. Sure, I might have felt a little stung when you used to brush me off back in Canterlot-”

Twilight’s gaze dropped to the floor in shame.

“But that’s all in the past," Lyra went on, kindly. "As for spending all this time in Ponyville with pretty much the same thing, I know you’ve been tied up with your studies. I couldn’t take time away from you when we’d hardly known each other to begin with. Besides, I was getting to know Bonnie, and I’ve never bothered about the past. And as for being Cadence’s bridesmaid, need I remind you that I was just a pawn for that…that hag of a bug?” 

She pulled a disgusted face. 

“Twilight, I'm the one who should be apologizing to you," she went on. "If we’d just listened to you from the start, I might not have been roped into her whole plot and turned into a zombie to attack you.”

“Lyra, I’m not putting anypony at fault," said Twilight. "She fooled us all.”

“Not you, though," said Lyra. "You knew something was up, but we were too busy to-”

“Lyra,” said Twilight, firmly, stopping Lyra mid-sentence. “I’m not going to accuse anypony of what happened. It’s over and done with. It's in the past, like you said. The important thing is we’ve had this chance to finally reconnect, and the timing couldn’t have been more perfect.”

She cast a glance at me, making the color rise to my cheeks at being mentioned.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” said Lyra. “Now, come here, you!” 

She once more threw her hooves around Twilight in a big hug, and the violet-coated librarian put a foreleg around her to reciprocate. When they broke apart, Lyra turned her attention to me, the huge grin back on her face.

“So! We ready to do this?”

“I certainly am,” I said. “Shall we?”

“Heck yes!”

She bounded onto the sofa, patting it eagerly for me to sit beside her. Taking the hint, I settled myself down, and she nestled up beside me, like a dog next to its owner.

“I take it Bon Bon was ok to let you come?” I asked.

“Mm-hmm! She said ‘Well, Lyra, I guess you foretold your own future yesterday’.”

“Beg pardon?”

“The song I was singing! ‘A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes’! As soon as I finished singing it, you came in and invited me to this interview thing! Is that crazy or what?”

Now that she mentioned it, that was an unbelievable coincidence.

“That is crazy,” I agreed.

“And it’s all because of you!” she said, now bestowing a hug on me.

“Aw, Lyra…”

“Ok, Lyra,” said Twilight, seating herself in a chair, “I can understand your enthusiasm, but let’s get started, shall we?”

“Yes, please!” said Lyra, suddenly letting go of me and sitting at attention. 

Spike had seated himself on a stool beside Twilight. The unicorn librarian had set a fresh sheet of paper in front of her, and had dipped her quill into a the nearest ink pot.

“Ready?” she asked.

“Fire away,” I said, with confidence.

“I guess I should start from the actual beginning. Where-”

“Wait-wait-wait!” said Lyra. “I wanna ask something first, before I forget!”

“Oh, um, of course, Lyra, go ahead,” said Twilight, bemused.

“Yay!”

She turned to me and, putting her hooves on the backs of my hands, looked me straight in the eye and asked, very eagerly,

“How do hands work?”

“How…do they ‘work’?” I asked, nonplussed.

“Yeah! How do you manage having all those wiggly things on them?”

“You mean fingers?”

“Yeah!”

“Well, I guess the same way Spike can.”

A surprised look flitted across Lyra’s face, and she turned to Spike, who was equally surprised at having been brought up.

“Oh. My. Celestia,” breathed Lyra. “You’re right! Spike has hands, too!”

“Well, claws, actually,” said Spike, “but yeah, I guess so.”

Lyra let out a frustrated groan, clasping her hooves to her head.

“All this time, and I never asked the one creature in Ponyville that actually had hands! Ugh! I’m such a doofus!”

“It’s all right, Lyra,” I said, consolingly, putting a hand to her shoulder. “It was an honest mistake.”

“I know,” said Lyra, in a pouty voice, “but I still feel stupid.”

“Hey, I do stupid things all the time. It’s not a big deal. It’s just one of those things we take for granted. I can’t explain how they work beyond using fingers.”

“That’s really all there is to it?” Lyra asked.

“As far as I know.”

“Wow. Who knew it was so simple?”

“Though, while we’re on the subject,” I said, “how do your hooves work?”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve seen ponies pick things up in their hooves, things they shouldn’t possibly be able to hold in hooves.”

Twilight and Lyra looked at each other in bewilderment.

“We…just do,” said Twilight, shrugging. “We’d never given it much thought.”

“Really?…Well, if you don’t think it needs further explanation, that'll have to do. Now, you were going to ask something, Twi?”

“Huh? Oh! Right, yes! *ahem* Where did humans first come from, in your world?”

“Ah, you don’t waste time with the small stuff," I said, grinning. "Well, there can be a lot of different answers, depending on who you ask. Most of the time, people’s opinions are divided between the scientific approach or the religious approach.”

“Oh? Do go on.”

“Well, in school, we’re taught human development the ‘scientific way’, which basically says our ancestors were apes.”

“I knew it!” said Lyra. “I knew you evolved from monkeys! You even kinda look like one.”

“Well, gee, thanks for the compliment,” I said, in a sarcastic tone. 

Lyra giggled and nudged me. 

“I’m just teasing.”

“I know,” I replied, with a grin. “I’m no biologist or expert in anatomy, but our textbooks show us how we’ve supposedly evolved over time from hunched, knuckle-dragging simians to the upright stilt-legged creature you see before you. We share similar bone structure, similar brains; heck, they even say our DNA is almost exactly the same.”

“Oh, that’s brilliant!” said Twilight, scribbling away like mad.

“Has anyone ever called you a monkey?” asked Spike.

“It can be used as an insult, yes, and while I can’t remember being called one myself, I’ve been told I’m as hairy as one.” 

This brought a round of laughter from everyone present.

“And the religious approach?” asked Twilight.

“Well, I can’t go into too much detail, but I’ll do what I can. In my world, we’re not just divided by nationalities or languages; we’re also divided by our religions, each with its own set of spiritual beliefs. The one I’m a part of believes in an omniscient, omnipresent God who is the Lord and Creator of all life on Earth. According to the records of the Bible-”

“The huh?” asked Spike.

“That’s the name for the book we follow in our religion. Do you have something like that, Twilight? You know, since you’re an expert on literature?”

“Well, I certainly do have a section devoted to religious literature, but I’m afraid those devoted to human religions are either scarce or non-existent in Equestria.”

“Oh, I see. Just thought I’d ask. In any case, according to the Bible, all humans are descended from the first man and woman God placed on Earth in its earliest days.”

“Oooh, that’s very intriguing,” said Twilight. “So everyone is connected by some distant bloodline or other?”

“That’s one way to view it, yes.” I then said, sagely, “We are all God’s children, as we say. Of course, people like to raise some big stinks about which is the true religion. I don’t like getting involved.”

"Do these differences lead to conflict?" Twilight asked.

"Unfortunately, very often. We've had a lot of bitter conflicts in the past, either for independence, territory, or protection."

"And how do humans protect themselves?"

"Oh, through whatever means they can," I said, counting off on my fingers. "With their fists, with swords, knives, guns, bombs..."

Twilight, Lyra, and Spike looked at each other, aghast.

"I never knew humans were so violent," said Twilight.

"Yeah, I'm sorry to say so, but it's one of our faults," I admitted. "Still, a nation has to be able to protect itself. That's why we have armies, a Navy, a Marine corps; basically armed forces protecting the land, sea, and sky. I don't like to think about it, either, but it's there."

Twilight nodded, her quill still going.

"I hope you don't think too differently of me after saying all that," I said, pensively.

"It's a lot to swallow, but you said yourself you don't like the thought of it. I can believe that; you're too sweet to get mixed up in something as gruesome as warfare."

I smiled in appreciation at her comment, and then, a new thought struck me.

“Say, Twi? Can I ask you something?”

“Of course. This is a Q&A after all.”

“Well, what’s Princess Celestia to Equestria? I know she’s the ruler of the land and the one who controls the sun, but in that sense, is she an Equestrian goddess? I hear ponies invoking her name all the time. And for that matter, would that make Luna a goddess too, since she controls the moon?”

Twilight, struck by this question, tapped her chin with her hoof in deep contemplation.

“You know,” she said, finally, “I’d never thought about that at great length. I’d never even asked her personally. The princesses have been around for a very long time, and it is through them that the sun and moon are kept in check. I guess, in a sense, they are goddesses, but we’ve always been content to know them as our princesses.”

“I like that answer.”

Twilight smiled.

“Lyra? Would you like to ask something now?” I asked.

“Oh! Yeah! What kind of holidays do you have in the human world?”

“Another good question,” I said. “What kind do you have here?”

“Well, we’ve got Nightmare Night, Hearth’s Warming, Winter Wrap-Up, Hearts and Hooves Day…”

“Interesting. Well, let’s see…To list all the holidays humans observe would be long and tedious, especially since different countries often observe different holidays, so I’ll list the more notable ones from where I come from. Have that quill at the ready, Twi.”

With a grin of determined readiness, Twilight held up her quill in her telekinesis.

“We’ve got New Year’s, to celebrate a new year and reflect on the old. We sometimes get carried away by staying up after midnight, with fireworks and alcohol and singing.”

“Oh, we have a holiday like that," said Twilight. "Same name, too."

“Really? Well, good, that saves further explanations. Let’s see…We’ve got Halloween, where we dress up in spooky costumes and gorge ourselves on candy.”

“Hey!” said Lyra. “That sounds just like Nightmare Night!”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah! We all dress up, give out candy to kids, have a carnival in the town square, and celebrate the tale of Nightmare Moon!”

“So, you celebrate the folklore behind Princess Luna’s dark incarnation?”

“Yeah-huh!”

“And she doesn’t object to this?” I asked, puzzled.

“Well, she didn’t exactly object,” said Twilight. “She more wanted to be part of the festivities, but kind of had trouble fitting in.”

“Really? That sounds…unusually down-to-earth of her.”

“The Princesses are very humble," said Twilight, then added, sheepishly, "We just…sometimes forget that.”

“I can understand that. I mean, how crazy would it be to be playing baseball, when all of a sudden, the ruler of your land asks to join in?” 

A mental image presented itself to me of a majestic, regal pony (I had no clear image of what Princess Celestia looked like), striding onto a baseball field dressed in a jersey and ball cap, holding a bat in her teeth.

“That’d be awesome!” said Spike.

“But still crazy,” said Twilight.

“Now, where was I?…Oh, yeah. Next there’s Thanksgiving. That’s to celebrate the peaceful unity between the original natives of the country I live in, back in my world, and the people from another country who came to colonize it. They celebrated with a feast jam-packed with all sorts of foods that we still pig out on today: turkey, stuffing, corn, cranberry sauce, mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie…”

“Mmm! Sounds delicious!” said Lyra, rubbing her stomach.

“That sounds something like Hearth’s Warming,” said Twilight, “but it was to celebrate the peace and friendship between the three pony tribes, when they’d originally fought over what would become Equestria.”

“Oh! Now there’s an interesting bit of history.”

“The real story would take quite a bit of time to tell, so we’ll save it for another time.”

“Gotcha. Well, after that, there’s Christmas. It’s the favorite time of year for many, myself included. It’s a time of giving, of family, of joy, of peace on Earth, the birth of the son of the Lord…Though, unfortunately, the concept’s often marred by the prospect of presents on Christmas Day. Not that nobody likes presents.” I added, hurriedly. “Who doesn’t?”

“We give away gifts on Hearth’s Warming!” Lyra said, then looked at Twilight and Spike. “His world’s got so much in common with ours!”

“I know," Twilight said. "It’s almost scary.”

“Believe me, it’s pretty disquieting for me, too," I said. "Let’s see, holidays, holidays…Ah! St. Patrick’s Day!” Here, I adopted an Irish accent. “Which we celebrate with the wearin’ of the green.”

“A day dedicated to the color green?” asked Spike.

“Well, not just the color. It’s also about shamrocks and leprechauns and rainbows and pots of gold.”

“Leprechauns?” asked Twilight. “I’ve heard of creatures like that, but I've never actually seen one."

“Let’s see, what else?…Oh! There’s Valentine’s Day, when we give a little something special to our sweethearts.”

“That’s Hearts and Hooves Day!” said Lyra. “We spend the day making the day wonderful for our special someponies!”

“Well, that sounds cute. If it’s not too much trouble to ask, do either of you have special someponies?”

Blushes as red as Applejack’s farm-fresh apples colored the two mares’ cheeks. I, of course, already knew of Spike’s crush on Rarity, but chose not to exploit said knowledge against him.

“Er, sorry, was that too personal?” I asked, awkwardly.

“No, no, it’s all right,” said Twilight. “I’ve never really had time for a stallion in my life. My studies, you know?”

“I can understand. Lyra?”

“Nah,” said Lyra, in a casual tone, “Bonnie and I both haven’t found the stallions of our dreams yet.”

“Well, he can’t be too hard to find, for either of you,” I said, meaning Twilight and Lyra, though I by no means suggested the opposite towards Bon Bon, “I think both of you are very charming.”

“Aww, thanks, Dave,” said Lyra, nuzzling up beside me. “You’re so sweet.”

“I try,” I said, bashfully. 

Twilight herself smiled at my compliment. It was true that, despite her bookish nature and slightly pudgy physique, she actually was quite a pretty mare. In fact, practically all of the mares in Ponyville were cute or pretty in their own rights. I sincerely hoped that wasn’t wrong of me to say as a human.

“Do you have a somepony in your life?” asked Lyra.

Now it was my turn to blush.

“Well…yes, but a some-person, not a somepony.”

“Really? What’s she like?”

“She’s…funny, good-natured, patient. She never stays mad at me for long when I mess up. We share many of the same interests. The only issue is that we live on practically opposite sides of the country.”

“Aww, that’s too bad,” said Lyra.

“We’re still able to communicate with each other regularly, though. Now that I think about it, I wonder what she’d think of Equestria. She’s not much of a girly-girl, if you catch my drift.”

Come to think of it, how was she taking the fact that I’d been absent for five days so far? She was the sort who never really questioned anything, just sort of went with the flow, but still, she’d notice eventually...

“Dave? You all right?” asked Lyra.

“Uh? Y-Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Are you sure nothing’s wrong, Dave?” asked Twilight. “You seem to have this weird habit of drifting off.”

“I’m fine, really. It’s just, thinking of home, you know?”

“Oh, I see," said Twilight, quietly. "If you want to postpone-”

“No-no-no!" I said, hurriedly. "I wouldn’t dream of doing that to either of you. This is far too important for me to screw up with nostalgia. I’ll be ok, really.”

“Well, all right, if you’re certain.”

“I’m quite certain. Now. what was I talking about?”

“Human holidays?”

“Ah, right. Well, there's the 4th of July; that's when we celebrate our country becoming independent, after years of struggle and hardship, in the name of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness!"

"How inspiring!" said Twilight.

"We celebrate it with barbecues and fireworks."

"Ooh! I like fireworks!" said Lyra.

"I like seeing them," I said, "but I'm not a fan of the noise. Now, let me see...Oh! There's Mother's Day and Father's Day!"

"We have those, too!" said Lyra, eagerly.

"Great! What else, what else...Oh, yeah! This is the last big one, but I could never forget it: Easter. Religiously, it’s when we celebrate the day when the Son of God rose from the dead three days after he was executed by crucifixion, all as had been foreseen by Himself.”

The three stared at me, making me wonder if they even knew who I was talking about or what crucifixion was. It wouldn’t be very pleasant to go into detail, so I pressed on.

“It’d be a very long, though interesting, story to go into it at full length,” I said, “but I’ll say that it’s otherwise celebrated with festive Springtime candy, usually chocolate eggs and bunnies.”

“Chocolate bunnies?” asked Lyra. “Sounds adorably delicious!”

“You’ve got a real mind for food, don’t you, Lyra?” I asked, jokingly.

Lyra giggled. 

“Bonnie has me work as her taste-tester at the candy store. It’s not a bad gig, overall.” 

She glanced down at her belly. It wasn’t as round as Pinkie’s, but was still noticeable.

“I can imagine," I said. "Though, speaking of chocolate bunnies, I doubt that’s something Fluttershy would appreciate.”

“Oh, heavens, no,” said Twilight, grimly. “She got upset when she saw Pinkie Pie eating animal crackers one day.”

“Hoo boy…”

“I know. But, in any case, those are the most notable holidays in the human world?”

“The ones off the top of my head, yes. It surprises me how close they are to your counterparts.” 

I took a swig of water, my throat becoming quite parched.

“I know," said Twilight. "Oh, Princess Celestia’s going to love this!”

“I’ve got a question!” said Spike, raising his claw.

“Yes, Spike?”

“What do humans eat? I know you talked about it before, but I thought Lyra and the princess would wanna know.”

“Ah, good question. Humans are actually omnivorous, meaning we’re able to eat both plants and meat. Some prefer one over the other. As for me, back home, I’m a huge fan of meat.”

“And you’ve been getting by just fine?” asked Lyra, in an amazed tone.

“It hasn’t been easy, but yes. I haven’t croaked yet. Come to think of it, I think I could get used to this equine diet. I might finally lose some weight for once.”

“Lose weight? You look fine!” said Lyra.

“That’s cuz of the size of my shirt. I wasn’t always a healthy eater back home, but now I’ve got a chance to shed a few pounds and wow the folks back home.”

I actually amused myself with the thought of appearing before my friends and family, toned and slim, and picturing the surprised looks on their faces at my sudden drop in weight.

“Another question,” went on Spike, “Do humans migrate or hibernate?”

“Well, sort of, but not so regularly as birds or bears. When winter comes around in the north, many of us head south to escape the cold, usually for a vacation, before heading back when the coast is clear. The elderly tend to head south when they retire, so they can live out the rest of their lives in peace. As for hibernation, while we don’t hibernate like bears or other mammals, we do tend to stay cooped up indoors when the outside just isn’t so desirable to us at the time. We even become fierce as bears when someone tries to force us out of our comfort zones, like when our mothers try to get us out of bed when it’s time for school.”

“I know that feeling!” said Spike, laughing.

“So do I, unfortunately,” said Twilight, in a flat tone, “for the same reason.”

“Speaking of animals,” said Lyra, “how do humans balance on two feet without tails?”

I shrugged. 

“I guess we’ve never had the need for them. All of our balance is in our rears.”

“And is it true that humans lose their manes when they get older?”

“Unfortunately, yes. That’s what toupees and wigs are for, though I could name a few men proud to be bald.”

“And why do humans always wear clothes? I mean, we wear clothes sometimes, but you seem to need them all the time.”

First Pinkie, then the Crusaders, now Lyra? What was it with these ponies and their interest in my preferring not to go around like a nudist?! I took a swig of water before answering.

“Let me put it this way,” I said, “seeing as we have a child present-”

“Hey!” said Spike, in an offended tone.

“He’s right, though, Spike,” said Twilight. “You're still only a baby dragon.”

“I know, but still,” muttered the little dragon, huffily.

“Human culture has always been very particular about modesty. We wear clothes because it’s just not in our nature to wander around naked. Of course, there are some rebellious members of the human race who want to defy the system by ‘streaking’.”

“Streaking?” asked Twilight. “What’s that?”

“Basically, it’s when a human runs around naked in public, as a way of rebelling against authority. You ponies have nothing to fear from that, since you all can go clothed or nude as you please. Fortunately, Rarity generously took it upon herself to sew me some new clothes, such as this ensemble you see currently on me.”

“That’s a Rarity-made?” asked Twilight, interested. “Oh my gosh, it looks just like the clothes I first saw you wearing! She must really be getting into human fashion.”

“I’m grateful she’s even taking the time, though I wouldn’t have insisted anyway. She must be super-busy with other projects.”

“Well, she does have costumes to make for Nightmare Night,” said Twilight, “and that’s coming up pretty soon, after the Running of the Leaves, so I understand your concern. Still, I’m really impressed with how she made your outfit.”

“So am I,” I said, with a smile. Then, I said, remembering, “Ah! Sorry, Lyra, I went off on a tangent. Did I answer your question?”

“Yep, that’s good enough for me: humans don’t like being naked.”

“Atta girl. So, what else?”

“Well, what you said about defying authority interested me,” said Twilight, “so maybe you could briefly tell me about the society humans live in?”

“I’ll do my best. Well, you know how you live under a monarchy in Equestria?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“Well, in my world, it depends on what country you live in. It could be a monarchy, or even a dictatorship, but in my country, we live in a constitutional republic. We elect a president every four years to run our country. Personally, I’ve never been a fan of politics, so it’s not too much of a joy that I’m old enough to vote now.”

“And these presidents,” said Twilight, “what have they contributed to your country?”

“Historically, they’ve either been our saviors in times of destitution and misery, or they make things even worse than they already were. All we have to go on are their campaign promises. That’s just one more reason why I hate politics.”

“So, it’s the peoples’ choice,” said Twilight, writing as she spoke, “but you’re ultimately stuck with whoever the majority chooses.”

“Precisely.”

“I see. You mentioned these presidents of yours as being heroes historically. Are they the only sort?”

“Well, no. There’s people like Mahatma Gandhi, who revolutionized non-violent protest for his people; Susan B. Anthony, who took a stand for the rights of women; Winston Churchill, one of the most effective and revered prime ministers of his country; Martin Luther King Jr., who was an active leader in civil rights...Honestly, that's the tip of the iceberg. I could go on and on."

"Wow..," said Twilight, impressed.

"There's also a lot of influential people from fictional sources, like tall tales and fables."

"Like who?" asked Spike.

“Well, let’s see…Twilight, you know how you mentioned Star Swirl the Bearded?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“Well, while we didn’t have someone in actual history like him, we do have a similar figure in medieval legends: Merlin the wizard, advisor to Arthur, king of England, he who pulled the Sword from the Stone…and received one from the Lady in the Lake. Kinda confusing, now that I think about it…”

This was met with some blank looks, and I suppose I shouldn’t have been talking like they knew what I’d be talking about.

“It was the time of the knights. King Arthur, Sir Lancelot, Sir Galahad, Sir Bedivere, Sir Robin, Sir Not-Appearing-in-this…Wait, I’m thinking of the wrong thing. What I mean is, they were legends of the days of knights, of castles, of damsels to be rescued!”

“Ooh!” said Spike, eyes wide in admiration.

“Spike loves anything having to do with knights and heroics,” explained Twilight. “He must have picked it up from Shining Armor.”

“He’s got great aspirations, then,” I said. “I can easily see him as a great warrior.”

“You could?” asked Spike.

“Definitely.” I held my arm out, as if indicating a title in the air. “Sir Spike the Valiant, Defender of Ponyville!”

“Defender of Ponyville…I like that!” said Spike, gleeful. 

Twilight giggled and gave him a playful noogie.

“There are also other fantastic figures and creatures who may or may not have existed in history, but are favorite subjects in fantasy tales, like Robin Hood! He was a heroic thief, stealing from the greedy rich and giving to the needy.”

“How noble!” said Lyra.

“And Sherlock Holmes, who was a master detective, infallible thinker, and questionable dresser, since they always portray him with a deerstalker cap.”

“That sounds very familiar, actually,” said Twilight, contemplatively.

“As for tall tales, people use them as fantastical explanations for development in the world. Like Paul Bunyan, who was a giant lumberjack who cleared forests and made mountains and rivers; Pecos Bill, who was a hero of the West with a rattlesnake for a lasso; Johnny Appleseed, who spread, well, apple seeds across the country; and John Henry, who was a ‘steel-driving’ tunnel maker.”

“Interesting,” said Twilight, writing all of this down.

“I could go on for hours, but those are just some examples. Come to think of it, from what I’ve heard, you have creatures that are common in Equestria, but pure fantasy in our world, like, as Pinkie told me, manticores and cockatrices.”

“Those don’t exist in your world?” asked Twilight.

“Only in fiction, and thank goodness. If we did have real creatures like that, we’d be in some pretty deep doo-doo. I only know by Pinkie’s word, but just what creatures are common in Equestria or the lands near it?”

“Well, let me see,” said Twilight, “there’s dragons, phoenixes, griffons, manticores, cockatrices, parasprites, Diamond Dogs, hydras, minotaurs, Changelings-”

“Changelings? You mean shape shifters?”

“Yes. Specifically, these ones impersonate others and feed off of your love for them.”

“Your…love?” I asked, bewildered.

That sounded unusually tame for such terrible creatures.

“A bunch of them invaded the wedding between Shining Armor and Princess Cadence,” said Spike. “Totally out of the blue! The queen even disguised herself as Cadence!”

“Whoa. That must have been a horrible ordeal.”

Twilight nodded sadly.

"I won't pry," I said, gently. "Anything else?”

Twilight perked back up almost immediately.

“I’ve only got a few more to ask, actually. The technology of your society: is it any different than Equestria’s?”

(Aha! Now I’ve got a chance to really impress them!)

“I’m so glad you asked, Twi,” I said aloud, in an attempt to sound grand. “Allow me to regale you with the wonders of the human world…”

All three sets of eyes were fixed on me.

“In the human world, we have…television sets!”

“...And?” asked Twilight, flatly.

“…Huh?”

“They’re a rare commodity, but we know about them.”

“Er…I see. Well, we also have devices known as…computers!”

“Know about those too.”

“Seriously?”

“Yep. Rarer than televisions, but there are some ponies who have them. I even have a supercomputer for some of my science projects.”

“…Video games?”

“Yep.”

“Airplanes?”

“Mm-hmm.”

“Automobiles?”

“Very rarely, but yes.”

My enthusiasm was deflating upon finding myself looking like an idiot in making what existed in their world sound grand.

“…Robots?”

“Well, we don’t have those, but we know what they are, or at least I do.”

“…Lasers?”

“See my previous answer.”

I gave up. They’d completely fooled me by appearances. Ponyville looked so humble, so down-to-earth, so…suburban. How could I have known these had existed if they’d never shown evidence of it before?

“Dave?” 

The sarcastic tone Twilight had adopted as I rattled off my answers was replaced with one of concern at my defeated look. 

“Was I being too rude? I was just playing around with you.”

“No. it’s not your fault, Twilight,” I said. “I’m just trying to give you good stuff to send to Princess Celestia, and here I am, rattling off what you already know, as if it were something huge and exciting and beyond pony imagination.”

“Aw, Dave, that’s not true. On the contrary, this is a wonderful revelation.”

“Really?"

“Yes. It shows just how closely connected your world and ours are. This’ll make for a very intriguing perusal for Princess Celestia!”

She was, in fact, using her magic to straighten out several pages that she had filled with the questions and their answers. Spike was eyeing them with apprehension, probably wondering how much sending by fire he was going to have to do.

“Well, when you put it that way, I suppose it does make sense,” I said, feeling a little better.

“One final question on my part,” said Twilight. “How does the sun move in your world, if no one governs it?”

“Well, that’s a no-brainer for a lot of folks back home,” I said. "The sun is the center of our solar system, of which the Earth is only the third of eight planets, formerly nine. All eight of those planet encircle it, so the sun rises in the east and sets in the west from the planet rotating on its axis, with no influence placed upon it by an outside power. Same goes for the moon.”

“Wow…" breathed Twilight. "That’s amazing!”

“But, er, do you think Princess Celestia would appreciate such an answer?”

“Why not?”

“Well, she might get the wrong idea, hearing that the sun and moon aren’t governed by someone else. It might make her think we have it too easy, or that we’re too lazy to do anything about it.”

“Oh, nonsense,” said Twilight. “Princess Celestia will understand. You said humans don’t have magic, right?”

“Well, no magic like yours, right.”

“So how else could the sun rise and set if not by some other means?”

“Yeah, I suppose you’re right,” I assented, upon reflection.

“Spike, as soon as we wrap up, I want you to send this off to Princess Celestia!”

“One sheet at a time?” asked Spike.

“No, that won’t be necessary. I’ll bind them all together and put the royal seal on the whole collection.”

Spike wiped his brow in relief.

“I have one final thing to ask,” said Lyra, “one you don’t have to write down, Twilight.”

“Oh? All right, then.”

There was an odd seriousness in Lyra’s orange eyes, a seriousness I didn’t quite like in such a goofy pony.

“Dave.”

“Yes?”

“I want you to answer me completely and truthfully, no second-guessing.”

“Ok, all right. What is it?”

She was starting to scare me.

“When you do return to your world, will you be willing to tell everyone about your experiences here, or will you keep it a secret, or even pretend it was all a fantasy?”
> An Attempt at Peace, Failed
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I have no clear idea why, but Lyra’s question hit me like a sack of bricks. The very seriousness of it, the implication that I might lie about what happened to me when I got home, all smote me like an arrow, as those orange eyes bored into mine.

There was more to it, too. The suggestion of returning and concealing my involvement in this world, for whatever reason, gave me the impression of a kind of pressure in the back of my head, like something trying to surface from dirt. I felt as if this situation was somehow familiar to me. Not exactly the same wording, but something similar in context. It was like I was surrounded by a sea of eyes, silently judging me, waiting for an explanation to something I had not the faintest idea about.

“We’re waiting, Dave,” said Lyra, firmly.

“Lyra,” said Twilight, “is this necessary?”

“I have to know, Twilight. I want to be sure.”

“Sure of what?”

“That if we didn’t think humans existed, then they should at least know we do.”

“Lyra, now you’re just being ridiculous,” said Twilight, exasperated.

“I…” I began. “I, er…”

“Don’t hesitate,” said Lyra, pointedly. “The truth.”

“Well, the thing is…”

“Come on, all I want is your honest answer.”

“Lyra, stop it!” said Twilight. “You’re scaring him to death!”

“It’s a simple question, Twilight: is he going to be honest about being brought to Equestria and back, or is he going to act like it never happened?”

“But you’re petrifying the poor man! Look at him!”

Why was I having such a feeling? My chest felt constricted, my forehead was cold with sweat, and my hands felt clammy. It was as if I were anticipating the results of a difficult exam, but the pressure in the back of my mind and Lyra’s belligerent badgering were making it much worse.

Lyra continued to stare me down, but her tone became softer.

“Dave, you know I’m not trying to be mean to you. You’re my friend, and I like you, but you can’t just go back home and act like you were just having a big dream. Would that be any way to treat the friends you made here?”

That did it. The sincerity in her voice broke me even more than her sharpness. I buried my face in my hands, though I wasn't quite crying just yet. I felt a hoof across my back, and felt Lyra lean against me consolingly. Vaguely, I heard Twilight ask Spike to go upstairs with the papers.

“You want me to be completely honest?” I finally said.

“Yes.”

“Then, just hear me out.”

“I’m listening.”

I took a deep, steadying breath, then said,

“I’ve only been here for five days, at least. I’ve had a few escapades, and I’m sure to have more before my time in this world is up. Of course, something like this, being thrust into a whole new world, would warrant telling people. But you have to understand. I live in a world and time where proclaiming such fantastic things could very well land me in an asylum, if I wasn’t publicly touted as a heretic or something before that. 

"Believe me, Lyra, I would happily tell my fellow people what a wonderful society you all live in, but what merit of credibility is there in telling a bunch of strangers that I was whisked off to a land full of talking equines? So, at the present, no, I don’t think I could handle telling huge crowds about it, but among close friends that I trust, at the very least, I would most certainly tell them the truth, the truth of my visit to Equestria. Does that answer your question, Miss Heartstrings?”

Lyra looked at me intently, sympathy in her eyes, and nodded.

“Yes, Dave, it does. At least, I’m glad you’d tell someone you trusted. I can understand not wanting to excite a bunch of strangers. Now I feel bad for being so strict with you.”

Her ears flattened as she said this, looking regretful.

“It’s all right, Lyra," I said. "I don’t hate you for it. How could I ever hate any of you? You’ve all been so wonderful to me in so short a time already. Who knows what the future will hold in that respect? At the very least, I’m glad I could accommodate your wishes, and answer your queries on humanity.”

Lyra's eyes brimmed with happy tears.

“Thank you so much, Dave,” she said, gratefully. “I’m never gonna forget this, ever. You’ve made me a happy mare today. You proved I wasn’t just being crazy.”

“I’ll admit," I said, "I kinda thought you were a little nutty when you first tackled me down and tried to ask me point-blank-”

Lyra’s cheeks colored.

“But since when does craziness have to be a bad thing?" I asked, grinning. "You’ve got a lot of love to give, Lyra, and I’m honored that you would consider me a friend.”

Without further ceremony, she flung her hooves around my neck, and I hugged her as she nuzzled my cheek. Looking up, I saw that Twilight was regarding us with a warm, touched smile, and I returned it with a smile of my own. After the scare I’d received from Lyra’s question, I was in a wonderful mood, knowing I’d answered her questions of the human world and given Twilight something to send to the Princess.

Lyra finally pulled away to ask,

“Even if this all started because of me wanting to know about your world, will we still get to hang out?”

“Of course!" I said. "It’d be shallow of me to end it off because of that. I’ll stop by and visit sometimes. I could even listen to some of your music.”

Lyra’s face split into a gleeful grin.

“Great! I can’t wait! I should be off, now. Bonnie wanted me to help her think of treat ideas for Nightmare Night after we’d finished here, so I’ll see you two later.”

“Goodbye, Lyra,” said Twilight. “You’re welcome back anytime. Don’t be shy.”

“I won’t, Twilight, thank you. Take care, you two!”

With that, Lyra got up and headed out the library door.

“That girl’s almost as unfathomable as Pinkie,” I said. “She’s so chipper, but she has a remarkable capacity for seriousness.”

“That’s plain to see,” agreed Twilight.

“So, now that we’re alone,” I went on, “I have a couple, slightly more personal questions to ask of you.”

“Oh? How personal are we talking?” asked Twilight.

“Nothing too personal," I assured her. "I just want to make sure of a few things.”

“Well, all right, I’ll see what I can do.”

“As Princess Celestia’s student, were you familiar with members of her court?”

“Oh, of course!" said Twilight. "Shining Armor was a captain, after all, so I was on good terms with the Princess’s guards. I also knew some of her advisers and ministers.”

“Her ministers, good," I said, nodding. "Well, in that case, did you happen to know a Minister Ironmane?”

“Ironmane? Certainly!” she said, eagerly.

“What’s your opinion of him, then?”

“Oh, he’s very sharp. Perhaps not very social, but sharp, efficient, talented at what he does. ”

“And what does he do, exactly? All I know is he’s the Minister of Foreign Affairs.”

“Well, when the Princess receives note of someone or something not native to Equestria, it’s his job to intercept it, oversee its activities, and ensure that it isn’t a threat to the country. The doings of non-Equestrians within Equestrian borders, as well as inter-Equestrian affairs, are within his jurisdiction. When I was a filly, I’d sometimes ask him about some of the interesting creatures he dealt with.”

“So, he’s always been kind to you?” I asked.

“Well, more courteous than kind," said Twilight. "He's one of those ponies who doesn't like emotions interfering with his work, but he was never rude towards me. He even told me he was once a guard, and fought for Princess Celestia in a great battle years ago."

She paused, and gave me a quizzical look.

"Why are you asking about him? Have you met him?”

“Yes," I said. "I am a foreigner, after all.”

“Oh, right. What was your impression of him?”

“Well…”

What was to I do? Should I tell Twilight the truth, that he had been cold and condescending towards me, or would she just pass it off? At the very least, I resolved not to mention Scootaloo’s involvement in our disagreements.

“He certainly is good at what he does,” I said, “if what he does is needling you like a prosecutor.”

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that,” said Twilight, sympathetically. “He’s dealt with a lot of unruly creatures in his days, so he’s sort of adopted a ‘no-nonsense’ approach. Don’t take it too personally, though.”

“I wouldn’t, if he bothered to stay civil with me,” I muttered. “He hasn’t even bothered to learn my name. All he does is call me ‘human’, like that’s all I am to him.”

“You just aren’t familiar with how he operates,” said Twilight. “He’s rough around the edges, but he’s never mean-spirited about it. He’s only doing his job, for the protection of the country.”

“I suppose," I conceded. "I guess it never feels the same way for the subject of the treatment.”

“Don’t let it bother you,” said Twilight. “It probably stung a bit, but he usually backs off once he’s satisfied.”

She had a point. In a way, Ironmane did back off by returning to Canterlot, and he did say he was impressed with how I handled Scootaloo’s adoption. Was he actually genuinely impressed with me for once? It was too early to say.

“Let’s move on, then,” I finally said. 

I was tempted to tell her about Trixie’s return, but I decided against it. It seemed like a stone best left unturned.

“I really just have one more question, Twilight, but it’s a bit of a biggie.”

“Fire away.”

I took a deep breath, and asked,

“Do you know of a spell that would allow me to look into my Earth dimension?”

The words tumbled out in a hurry, so anxious was I to get them out. I was worried Twilight would ask for a repeat, but she seemed to have perceived what I’d asked, and blinked at me in surprise.

“A dimensional viewing spell?” she asked.

“Y-Yeah, something like that.”

“Well, goodness, I’d never bothered to look before, but I’m sure there must be one somewhere. Maybe there’s something in the Archives.”

“I mean, I don’t want to give you more work than you have-” I said, apologetically.

“No-no-no, it won’t be any trouble," said Twilight. "I’ll just ask Princess Celestia if there’s any related material.”

“Thank you, Twilight. Again, I don’t want you to go to too much trouble-”

“Don’t worry about it. It’s the least I can do for your help today. You have no idea how grateful I am for your deciding to do this.”

A tender smile came into her face as she said this, gratitude shining in those keen eyes of hers. The effect was quite adorable.	

“Oh, well, really, Twi, it was no big deal," I mumbled. "I’m just happy to help.”

(Confound you ponies, it should be illegal to be so cute.)

“I’ll certainly come visit again soon,” I continued, getting up and approaching her. “I don’t want you to think I only started seeing you because of the Q&A.”

“Oh, no, not at all!" said Twilight. "You’re welcome anytime. Don’t be shy to pop in.”

“Take care, Twi.”

“You too.”

I held out my hand, and she placed her hoof in it, allowing me to give it a warm shake. A little formal, perhaps, but she didn’t seem to mind. She just gazed up at me with those big, beautiful amethyst eyes of hers, gratitude and kindness radiating from them, creating an absolutely heartwarming effect when coupled with her little smile. At last, I stood up and headed for the door, lest her pony cuteness overwhelm me.

And that’s when I remembered.

“Oh! Twilight, one more thing.”

“Yes?”

“You haven’t discovered a spell that can turn ponies into trees, have you?”

Twilight blinked in puzzlement at such an odd question.

“I certainly know several transfiguration spells, but ‘pony to tree’ isn’t one of them," she said.

“Good. Pinkie wanted to be sure, in case Fluttershy gets any ideas.”

It took a moment for this response to register, before Twilight let out a prolonged “Ohhh” of comprehension, then she chuckled and rolled her eyes skyward.

“Typical Pinkie,” she said.

“I know, right? Well, I’ll see you later, Twi.”

“Take care, Dave!”

And I shut the door behind me, feeling that two missions had been accomplished simultaneously.


***


“Forget arthritis,” I muttered as I went, “I’ll be lucky if I don’t contract diabetes from all these adorable equines. Those smiles could cure cancer.”

(Smiles that cure cancer, but cause diabetes. What a medical paradox.

These thoughts were interrupted as I found I’d wandered back to Sugarcube Corner. Immediately, I wondered if Pinkie had recovered from her scare that morning, and went inside. There were a few ponies seated and enjoying their purchases. I looked about, but saw no sign of my pink friend.

“Oh! Is that you, Dave?” came Mrs. Cake’s voice through the kitchen door.

“Yes, Mrs. Cake," I answered. "Do you need a hand?”

“That’d be wonderful, thank you. It’ll only take a second.”

I entered the kitchen, and found Mrs. Cake, a potholder in her teeth, gripping one end of an enormous tray of cinnamon rolls which was sitting on the counter. Taking the hint, I picked up another potholder and grabbed the other end. Carefully, the two of us lifted the tray up, out the door, and onto the front counter.

“Thank you, dearie,” said Mrs. Cake, taking the potholder from her mouth. “Normally I’d ask Pinkie, but she hasn’t been herself today.”

“Oh," I said, my heart sinking a bit. "She’s still gloomy?”

“I’m afraid so. She’s been holed up in her room all day, ever since you left. Carrot and I decided it’s better not to disturb her.”

“I’d best not either, then," I said. "Is there anything else I can help you with?”

“That’s all right, Dave. We should be fine. Everything usually slows down by the middle of the afternoon. There is something that was delivered for you, though.”

“Really? From who?”

“Sparkler Hooves.”

“Sparkler?”	

Mrs. Cake directed me back into the kitchen, where I saw a covered basket sitting off to the side. Sitting next to it was a letter addressed to me. Puzzled, I opened the letter first, which read:

“Dear Dave,	

Words can’t express our gratitude towards you. Scootaloo’s starting off a little awkwardly, since she’s never been given such attention before. She did show a little reluctance at having a scheduled bedtime and having to eat her veggies at dinner, but I’m confident she’ll come around soon enough. She was very eager to learn how to fly, so I told her I’d start giving her lessons on Sundays, since there’s no postal work to be done. You should have seen the smile on her face, Dave. It was adorable.	

Dinky’s taken a real shine to her, tagging along with her everywhere. In fact, I overheard Scootaloo say that, the next chance she got, she’d see Sweetie Belle about making another Crusaders cape. Oh, Dinks just lit up like a Hearth’s Warming tree when she heard that. I think those two are going to get along just fine.	

Anyway, I decided to send you a little something, via Sparkler, as my way of saying thank you for all that you’ve done. Don’t feel obligated to eat them all; spread them around to those who need them. You never know how far one will take you.	

Best wishes,	

Derpy Hooves”

I had a suspicion of what was inside almost immediately after reading the last paragraph. Sure enough, as I pulled away the basket covering, I saw that it was filled to the brim with homemade muffins, chocolate chip and blueberry. I couldn’t suppress a smile at this obvious, but sweet, gesture on part of the bubble-marked mail mare. Her last words, meanwhile, had very much interested me.

“Spread them around to those who need them. You never know how far one will take you.”

I believed that I did, in fact, know a pony in desperate need of a good muffin. But first thing’s first: I set aside some for Pinkie, leaving a note for her, and then, recovering the basket, I headed out of the kitchen.

“Off again, Dave?” asked Mrs. Cake.

“Yes, ma’am," I said. "There’s somepony I need to see, somepony who I think will appreciate what’s in this basket just as much as I do.”


***


For the third time, I knocked at the door of Trixie’s caravan.

The first two times, there had been no response. All was quiet from within. Chances were she was either at home and avoiding visitors, or she was out and I was making my knuckles sore over nothing.

Finally, there came a resigned sigh, and the top half of the door opened. Trixie’s head poked out, bearing a disgruntled expression, though it softened somewhat upon spying me.

“Oh, it’s just you,” she said. “I didn’t think I’d see you again.”

(That’s odd, she’s not referring to herself in the third person. Maybe she doesn’t need to make herself sound so grand when she doesn’t have a big audience.)

“Hello, Trixie. How are you?”

Trixie raised an eyebrow, as if to ask ‘What do you think?'

“Yeah, that was probably a stupid thing to ask," I said, sheepishly. "Well, I was wondering if I could come in. I have something that might interest you.”

“Unless it’s a revocation of Twilight Sparkle’s magic school degree, I’m sure you’re wasting your time,” said Trixie, turning her nose up loftily.

(At least she didn’t say her head.)

I pulled away the cover to reveal the remaining muffins. Trixie’s purple eyes fixed themselves on the confections, her large irises quivering and filled with an expression of hunger. However, next second, she shut her eyes and shook her head, as if the muffins were casting a spell she was desperate to ward off.

“You think you can buy an audience with me with mere muffins?” she scoffed, head turned to the side. “I told you, I’m on a diet.”

“Aw, who doesn’t like muffins?” I asked. “Baked with love, chocolate chips, and blueberries.”

“Chocolate chips?” asked Trixie, opening one eye to gaze at the muffins again.

“Yeah," I said, grinning. "Me, I love chocolate.”

“Oh, me too!” said Trixie, in an excited voice that was nothing like her haughty tones. 

However, like before, she seemed ashamed of having let herself get carried away, as her cerulean cheeks became tinged with red, and she averted her eyes. It wasn’t like I was trying to bribe her. I was just under the impression that even she couldn’t stay shut up away from the world after an invitation of kindness.

“Well, I suppose you can come in, since you went to all the trouble,” she finally said. “If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s loiterers.”

She opened the door all the way, allowing me to step inside. It was relatively unchanged since yesterday, but the covers of the bunk were disturbed, as if Trixie had been in bed when I came to call. I guess she didn’t have much to do, out here in a hidden enclosure.

The two of us seated ourselves on said bunk, and I placed the muffins between us. She gazed longingly at the basket, until she saw me watching her, whereupon she turned her head again.

“Come on,” I said, “there’s no need to be so uptight. Let loose a little. It’s not like I’m gonna blab how the Great and Powerful Trixie like muffins. Although, it might improve your image, show them you enjoy the same things as your fans.”

“Improve my image?” Trixie snorted. “What are you, my PR director?”

To my relief, however, her horn began to glow, and she levitated a fresh chocolate chip muffin from the basket. I took one myself. Tentatively, she took a bite, chewing contemplatively before her eyes expanded in delight.

“Oh, Celestia, that’s delicious,” she murmured, swallowing her mouthful before taking another bite.

Breathing a sigh of relief, I dug into mine as well. As Trixie said, it was very tasty. For a pony obsessed with muffins, Derpy really knew how to bake them.

Trixie had finished hers off, and seemed to be undecided as to whether or not she should take another.

“Relax, help yourself,” I said. “I brought them for us to split.”

“Well, all right, if you approve, I suppose one or two more can’t hurt," said Trixie, before she added, warningly, "but if these go to my flanks, I’m blaming you for indulging me.”

“Duly noted,” I said, with a roll of the eyes.

Not noticing my eye roll, Trixie levitated another muffin and bit into it hungrily. We sat and ate for quite some time in silence. Occasionally, Trixie would glance up at me, but as soon as I met her eye, she looked away again.

Several muffins later, Trixie sat back, looking much better than when I’d first seen her. Her ribs didn’t seem as pronounced, and her face seemed fresher.

“I must say,” she said, patting her stomach, “I never expected those muffins to be so splendid. Did you bake them yourself?”

“I’m afraid not. Baking’s not my shtick.”

“Was it your pink friend, then?”

“Actually, no. These were from-”

“That reminds me,” interrupted Trixie. “Where is your friend, the pink one that doesn’t shut up?”

“I didn’t think you’d want to see her again," I said. "Besides, I don’t imagine she would have come.”

“Well, you’re right on that," said Trixie, bluntly. "If I had to hear any more gab from that porky pony’s mouth, I would have gladly stuffed my hat into it.”

“Hey, now, she’s not that bad," I said, slightly defensively. "Sure, she’s talkative, but she’s very sweet.”

“I’ll take your word on it,” said Trixie, in a offhand voice.

“You could at least give her a chance instead of shutting her out completely.”

“What do you think I tried to do the last time I was here?" Trixie snapped. "I gave them the chance to prove that I wasn’t the best unicorn in all of Equestria, but they paled in comparison to my magical prowess!”

Her old haughtiness had returned, as she drew herself up and puffed out her chest with pride.

“That’s not quite how I would have ‘given them a chance’, Miss Lulamoon.”

Almost as soon as those words slipped past my lips, I knew I’d made a flub. Trixie’s entire demeanor evaporated, and her eyes fixed a gaze upon me that would have melted stone.

“What did you just call me?” she asked, in a low and dangerous voice.

“N-Now, wait a minute,” I said, nervously. “Let me explain-”

“Where did you hear it!? Who told you?!” shouted Trixie in a voice of thunder, putting her hooves to my chest and leaning in until we were nose-to-nose, her furious purple eyes locked onto mine.

“It’s on your wall,” I said, in a meek whisper, quailing beneath her anger, “on that diploma.”

Her eyes flitted to the diploma I had noticed the last time I was there, bearing the name ‘Beatrix Lulamoon’. A frustrated sigh escaped the stage magician.

“How did I forget that was up there?” she grumbled. “Then again, I never expected company in the first place. But listen, you!” she went on, her horn pressed against my temple. “You breathe one word of this to anyone, and so help me, I will turn you into a toad and throw you to a hydra!”

I gulped, even though I wasn’t sure just how far she was capable of carrying out her threat.

“Is it really that big a deal?” I managed to ask, in a weak voice.

Trixie growled, and I could feel an unpleasant warmth emanating from her horn.

“I think it’s a nice name,” I went on, though I felt as if I was only digging myself in deeper. “Lulamoon has a sweet ring to it.”

“It’s the name of a pony who no longer exists,” Trixie said, icily.

(What?…Oh, wait a minute…)

“Ohh," I said, comprehension dawning on me. "I see how it is. I never thought you’d be one of those.”

“One of what?” asked Trixie, sharply.

“You know, one of those persons who takes on a new name and leaves their old name and past behind them. ‘The blah-de-blah you once knew is no more, now I’m blah-de-dee’…”

Trixie blinked.

“You’re surprisingly well-versed on this,” she said.

“I’ve seen a lot of action movies, tends to be a running theme,” I said, with a shrug.

Finally, Trixie removed her horn from my forehead, still scowling at me.

“Well, you’re right," she said. "The pony known as Beatrix Lulamoon no longer exists. There is only…the Great and Powerful Trixie!”

She said it with excessive grandeur, trilling the R’s of “Great” and “Trixie”.

“Why, though?” I asked.

“What?”

“Why bother to change your name? What could possibly warrant you shedding your past?” I asked.

Trixie's scowl became even icier.

“You’re very nosy, you know that?” she asked.

“It’s not nosiness, it’s curiosity!” I retorted, sighing in frustration. “Why does no one ever see that there’s a difference between the two?”

“You expect me to divulge my past to someone I barely even know?” Trixie scoffed.

“It would at least shed some light on how you came to be who you are, why you have such animosity towards Twilight-”

“Who said this had anything to do with Twilight Sparkle?!” snapped Trixie.

“Eep!” I recoiled back. “Er, maybe that wasn’t the right thing to say.”

“Just who do you think you are,” asked Trixie, “meddling in affairs of ponies you don’t even know? What gives you the right to go poking your beak of a nose into everypony’s business?”

“Beak of a nose?" I repeated, stung. "Now, just a minute!”

"Although," Trixie said, her gaze becoming more searching, "I am a little curious about you as well. How did you arrive in Ponyville, by the way?”

Huh? Why the change in subject?

“I don't really know," I said. "I woke up outside it, with no idea how I got there from my own world.”

"Your own world?"

Trixie looked at me for a long time, without a word, then shook her head sympathetically. 

"You poor soul. You probably haven't even realized.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, confused. "Realized what?"

“You’re trying to find a way home, are you not?”

“Well, yeah, but-”

“And once you get home, you’ll have no other means of returning to Ponyville, correct?”

What was she driving at?...

“Well, I...I mean, I never really considered-"

“So what are the odds of this happening a second time?” asked Trixie. "What are the odds that you'd be able to come back, and see the friends you made here ever again?"

...

…Oh my God…

My face must have told what I was thinking, as Trixie went on,

“I see you comprehend what I mean. You arrived in our world by chance. You have no guarantee that that chance will ever happen again. All that you’re doing by ‘making friends’ among us is setting yourself up for pain, heartache, and insufferable memories, because you know, deep in your heart, that you most likely will never see them again once you return home.”

She paused, then said, in a tamer tone,		

“When you’ve spent a life moving from one spot to the next, you learn never to keep attachments. You see them for a day, think you’ve hit it off, and then all of a sudden, it’s time to move on. If by chance you do see them again, they’re never the same as when you left them. That’s why those like you and I are better off alone. You have no business, no reason to immerse yourself in a world that’s only temporary to you. All you’re doing is asking for regret.”

I felt numb all over. I thought Lyra’s question had put me out of sorts, but now I had this new meteoric impact to my senses. Bitter as her words were, I couldn't refute Trixie's logic: I had no guarantee that I would ever see Equestria again once I came home. The thought had never come to me before, never been brought up. Was I just making it harder for me for when I did finally return home? All the friends I'd made since I arrived…Was my friendship with them meaningless if I would never see them again?

I had half-expected Trixie to feel proud with herself for screwing with my mind, but there was no smile on her face. There was, instead, something like pity, as if she hadn’t intended to pain me like this.

“I meant all of what I said, but to warn you, not spite you," she said. "I know your position, and it’s not favorable. I am grateful for the muffins, however, so thank you for that.”

“…Right.”

Stiffly, I picked up the basket, put the cover back over it, stood up, and stumbled out of the caravan, feeling numb and sick at the same time, the urge to break down into tears and throw up simultaneously surging within me. I barely heard the door softly closing behind me as I staggered away.

I didn't stop or see anyone all the way back to Sugarcube Corner. I must've passed at least some ponies, but I didn't notice, nor did I care. Trixie's words still rang in my head as I stumbled up the stairs inside, into my and Pinkie's bedroom, and collapsed onto my bed, finally giving myself up to my turbulent emotions.
> A Nightmare to End All
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next thing I knew, I was standing in what looked like a barren, empty wasteland. A sort of fog surrounded the entire area, and there was nothing in sight, no landmark to differentiate one spot from the next. There was only the sound of the wind blowing.

I was completely baffled, because I could have sworn I’d collapsed onto my bed when I was last aware of what was going on. How did I end up here? Where was everybody? Where was anybody?

“Hello? Is anyone here?” I called.

My voice resounded in a lonely echo, with no answer. There was nothing, no one, just complete, lonely emptiness.

But not for long.

As if by magic, I saw Scootaloo appear before me, stepping out of the smoke. Relief flooded me at the sight of a familiar, friendly face. I approached her, but then stopped, startled as I saw that her face was familiar, but not friendly.

She was angry, with tears running down her cheeks, and more glistening in her purple eyes. Her scooter and a small suitcase were right beside her. What did that mean? Was she…

No. No, no, that couldn’t be. I’d only just received the letter from Derpy earlier. How could this have happened already?

She began shouting, 

“What were you thinking?! How could you ever think it would work out? I trusted you! I trusted you, and I never should have! Just get away from me!”

Her tough little voice rang harshly in the empty air, piercing like an arrow with its cold feeling of betrayal and hurt, overwhelming me until I could stand it no more.

Scootaloo, how could it have come to that? I thought everything had been perfect.	

Then, she disappeared, wavering as if she were a reflection in a pool.

“Wait! Scootaloo, don’t go!”

But it was useless. To my astonishment, Twilight took her place. Once more I was relieved, and once more I was taken aback. There was cold disapproval in her eyes. A scroll of parchment was held in her magic.

“This was honestly the best you could tell me? Either you’re a very poor judge of your own world, or humans are the most boring creatures I’ve ever heard of. Why did I waste my time interviewing you? And here I was hoping the Princess would actually like what you had to say. She wasn’t impressed at all. In fact, she told me, in her reply, that if this is what humanity was, then humans must be the dullest, most boorish creatures to ever exist.”

The disappointment in her voice, the tone that spoke of dashed hopes and misplaced confidence, was more than I could bear. No more! Please, no more!

Twilight faded away into the mist, just like Scootaloo, and was replaced by…Mom and Dad?!

They were here! I could make amends for my vanishing away!

I ran to them, but was pulled to a stop, a thrill of surprise and shock hitting my heart. Just like Scootaloo and Twilight, their expressions were unfriendly and scornful.

“Talking ponies? Equestria?” they said. “How old are you, and you’re still playing these kinds of fantasy games? We didn’t raise you to play pretend at your age.”

No…no, this was all wrong. Why did they know about this? How could they have, when I hadn’t breathed a word, when I never even had the opportunity? The disappointment in their eyes and their voices, it hurt so badly.

Now they too vanished, to be replaced by…Pinkie. 

Her mane was limp again, and a very woeful, miserable look was in her eyes. She said nothing, but those eyes…those eyes…they said all that was needed to be said.

Oh, Pinkie, what act of selfish cruelty had I done to wound your heart so, to make you subject me to this silent torture? What could I do to make reparations, Pinkie? How could I prove I was still your faithful friend?

But no.

Now I saw what this all was. It was just as Trixie had told me. The foundations of my friendship with these ponies, however strong they may have been before, were crumbling all around me. I didn’t belong here. I was doing more harm than good. It would have been better if I had never interfered in their lives at all…

I wanted to run over and hug Pinkie, to apologize, but I had no chance to. 

In an instant, she too disappeared, and the fog enshrouding the wasteland turned red, as if a dust storm had blown through. Then, the ground began to shudder. Through the redness, like a great colossus, his hoofs shaking the ground with each step, came Ironmane. Somehow, he must have employed a spell to make himself the size of a giant, as he towered over me like a skyscraper, leering down his muzzle with a grin of cruel satisfaction. It was as if nothing pleased him more than to know that I was overcome with grief, that I had let my friends down, that they were hurt and angry because of me.

“You don’t belong here,” his voice bellowed, though it carried a tone of grim calmness. “You should never have meddled in the affairs of a world you have no place in. Equestria must be cleansed of your presence.”

Ironmane lowered his head, and his horn began to glow a vivid green. I stood, rooted to the spot, unable (or unwilling) to run away. I knew it was more likely the parenthetical reason, for how could I go on, knowing that my own parents had shunned me, and my new friends had lost their respect for me, were no longer my friends, and that my attachment towards them was meaningless?

All I wanted was for it all to end.

There was a sound like a gunshot.

...

…But the blast never struck.

There was a roar of anger and pain, and I looked up to see the enormous figure of Ironmane dissolving into nothingness, pierced through the chest by what looked like a ray of bluish-black light. Then, the red haze evaporated, to be replaced with a black, starry sky all around me.

I felt an odd weightlessness about me, and small wonder, for, looking down, I saw that my feet weren't touching ground at all! I was floating in space! 

If the grief of what I’d been going through hadn’t been stifling my senses, I would have probably freaked out, but seeing an enormous Ironmane about to do me in was freaky enough without this.

And then, out of nowhere, a voice spoke.	

“Do not be afraid, pilgrim of the human world. You are safe now.”

The voice was very regal, gentle in tone but still bearing a hint of dignity to it. I looked about for the source, and then, with a graceful sweep of the wings, a large pegasus appeared in front of me.

No, wait, she had the wings of a pegasus, but the horn of a unicorn as well. At any rate, she was close to my own size, with a very dark blue coat and a slender build with rather long legs. Her mane and tail, blue and starry, looked like clouds of vapor or gas, and seemed to flow of their own accord, regardless of any wind interference. She had blue eyes, a black tiara, silvery shoes on all four hooves, what looked like a black necklace around her neck, and her cutie mark resembled an inky black blotch with a white crescent moon.

Was this…?

“Princess…Luna?” I ventured.

She gave a slight nod.

“I-I beg your pardon, Your Highness,” I said, attempting a bow, and only sending myself in a tumble in the lack of gravity. “Forgive me for not showing you proper respect.”

“You need not apologize,” said the princess, “as this is not a very ordinary situation.”

“No kidding. I’m in space, for Pete’s sake. How did I get here, anyway? Where am I?”

“Well, to be blunt, you are locked in the turbulent confines of your subconscious,” said Luna. “In other words, you’ve entrapped yourself in a dream.”

“A dream?" I repeated, bewildered. "This is all a dream? Then, all of that…that never happened? It wasn’t real?"

Relief, warm, glorious relief surged through me.

"It wasn’t real! Nothing’s changed! My friends are still with me!”

I was liable to cry with joy, so happy was I that all of those horrible apparitions were…well, apparitions, but a new thought checked me.

“But, is your talking to me part of the dream, or are you on the outside, talking to me within my dream?”

Boy, wrap your head around that…

“More the latter,” said Luna. “I could sense the grief and pain in your heart as you forsook consciousness, and it seemed I arrived just in time to save you from your dream. Although, I have to admit, I am not entirely versed in the details of your stay. I thought it unusual that the beast I would save you from would be a giant Minister Ironmane.”

“Is this…something you normally do?" I asked. "Going into others' dreams?”

“It is. As I am princess of the night, ponies’ dreams fall under my domain as well. But I do not exploit it for my pleasure!” she added, sharply, as if I had implied such a thing. “I may be a princess, but the dreams of ponies are still their own. I only get involved if the need arises.” 

“So, what was it about my dream that made you so anxious to step in?” I asked.

“I would think you would be the one to tell me," said Luna, raising an eyebrow. "You obviously experienced something truly traumatic to commit yourself to such a condition.”

Upon hearing this, the remembrance of my talk with Trixie came right back, her words paining my insides like a knife as I recalled them. I hung my head, not daring to meet her gaze.

“Well, you see, Your Majesty, before I passed out, I had been talking with a pony who has a…very different view of the world.”

“Yes?”

“She told me that making friends is pointless if your stay is only temporary. All that you would be doing is making it painful for both of you, since you have no guarantee that you’ll ever see each other again. That’s why it hit me so hard, because I know that I’m not destined to stay in Equestria forever. I’ve got to return home eventually, but I was brought into this world by an accident. I have no way of knowing for sure whether or not that accident will happen again. I may never see my new pony friends again when I return. I’d be doing harm not only to myself, but all these wonderful ponies who’ve shown me nothing but kindness and friendship. What do I do, Your Highness? What do I do?”

I looked up, and was surprised to see that Luna had turned her back on me, so that I couldn’t see her face.

“Princess?…Princess Luna?”

“…Who?”

“Huh?”

“Who would ever tell you such things?”

“Well, I don’t really think I should name names-”

“Tell me who it was!” thundered Luna, whipping around to face me. 

All at once, her voice became deep and commanding, and seemed to acquire an extra tone to it, like what some people do to create the effect of demonic possession. It also put the force of her words on steroids, as I could feel the pressure against my face as she spoke, like a surge of wind. I would have cringed back, but the lack of gravity kind of prevented that. Her eyes blazed with white fire as she continued,

“Whoever has told you such blasphemy is no pony in possession of a heart! To poison a poor, unoffending lad’s mind with such venomous words is atrocious!!”

Then, all of a sudden, the fierce look on her face vanished, and she seemed quite frightened at what she had just said.

“Oh…Oh, my word,” she said, in her usual voice. “Forgive me, human. I had promised my sister I would never invoke the Royal Canterlot Voice except when appropriate.”

“Are you sure I’m out of my nightmare?…” I squeaked.

“The name isn’t important. What matters is that no one should ever use such horrid words.”

“But, let me be so bold as to say, Princess," I said, tentatively, "in a way, there’s some logic behind them.”

Luna gritted her teeth, but I said, hastily,

“Let me finish, please! Look, I know the way it was said sounds mean-spirited, but it makes some sense. I have no idea how long I’m to exist in this world. I could be sent home tomorrow, or in a week, or even a year. Also, like I said, I have no way of knowing if I’m ever going to return. Does that make all of this just pointless?”

The curl of Luna’s lip faded away, and she looked reflectively into the starry sky.

“I used to think so.”

“You did?”

“I had never thought about the consequences," she said, heavily, "the day I let myself be consumed by the malignant force of Nightmare Moon. They were unpleasant years, those of my banishment, with nothing but my own bitter thoughts and equally bitter memories to occupy me.”

“T-That’s right!” I spluttered, “Twilight said it was for 1,000 years! I could never even imagine living that long.”

“It is one of the least admirable traits of longevity, I’m afraid: living long enough to amass a millennium of regrets. But, in any case, 1,000 years is more than enough time for reflection. Unfortunately, my mind was divided between my old self and the influence of Nightmare Moon. That latter part of me tried to convince me that I was justified in rising against Celestia, that her sealing me away in the moon was an act of cowardice, since she dared not fight back any other way. It did little to assuage the depression of my sane half. It was a miserable millennium, to say the least.”

“Princess…”

Luna seemed to regain herself a little, and she cleared her throat.

“To answer your question, human-”

“Er, if I might interrupt you for a moment, Your Highness, my name is Dave.”

“Dave…" mused Luna, before nodding. "Hmm, very well, then. Well, to answer your question, Dave, I do understand the pain of leaving your loved ones behind, and do know how hard it is to think that those loved ones will never be the same again. I had, unfortunately, known many ponies dear to me who didn’t live to see my return.”

“Oh. I’m so sorry…” I said, sympathetically.

“I had lost hope of being free from my imprisonment from Nightmare Moon’s malignancy, so I grew uncaring of what happened when I returned. However, when Twilight Sparkle and her friends, those chosen to wield the Elements as my sister and I had once done, intervened, I found myself my own mare once again, and Celestia…She wasn’t cross with me, as she rightfully should have been. She…extended her hoof in friendship towards me. She was still the sister I had dearly loved, before I let my own sins taint me.”

Luna's eyes sparkled with tears, her voice having grown husky as she neared the end of this speech.

“Wow…” I murmured.

Luna cleared her throat again, then continued softly,

“Well, what I have to say to you is this, Dave. I agree that it is painful, having those close to you leave you behind, when you know or feel you will never see them again. However, it appears to me that the hurt is merely a reminder of how much their company and love meant to you. You will still have the memories of all the good times you have had together, something no one can ever take from you.”

“But, I’ve only been here for five days, Princess," I said. "So much has happened to me that I doubt would have happened to anyone else in that span of time. I’ve met a lot of wonderful ponies, rescued a filly from the Everfree Forest, and helped that same filly gain a family. How can I leave all of this behind, possibly forever, in good conscience?”

“It’s never easy, I know," said Luna, "but that is all part of time passing. When you have lived as long as I have, you learn that goodbyes are simply another part of life. What’s important to remember, however, is that life is just as equally full of hellos. Do not dwell so much on the former, and instead look forward to the latter.”

…Yes.

I felt I understood what she meant.

“So, what you’re saying is,” I said, slowly, “that I shouldn’t keep my eyes on the future, but just appreciate what goes on in the present?”

Luna nodded.

“Exactly. If you constantly keep your eyes fixed forward, you miss what is before you.”

“It won’t be easy," I said, with a sigh. "I do still want to return home, but I also don’t want to leave my friends so readily.”

“No one said it would be easy, Dave, but I have faith that everything will work out according to plan in the end. Don’t focus on the ‘then’, keep your gaze on the ‘now’.”

I stared straight into those blue eyes, full of calm, understanding, and compassion. Their gaze made me feel...somewhat bolder.

“I’ll try,” I said, with confidence. “I’ll certainly try.”

Luna smiled.

“Then that shall suffice. Now, all that remains is for you to wake up…wake up…wake up…”

As she said this, she began to fade away, as if she had learned that trick from the Cheshire Cat. Her voice had become an echoing mantra, and her horn began to glow with a bluish light. It enveloped my entire field of vision, blinding me, her words still in my head.

“Wake up…wake up…wake up…”

But…something was happening.

Luna’s voice was changing. It was losing its calm complacency, and was being replaced with frantic urgency. Even her tone was altering, from her melodious lower tones to a higher pitch, one I recognized.

“Wake up! Davie, please, wake up!”

My eyes opened. A familiar pair of light blue eyes, full of panic and anxiety, were boring into mine.

“Pinkie?”

“Davie! You’re awake! Oh, thank Celestia!”

(Thank Celestia? Thank Luna, you mean…)

“Pinkie, what’s going on?” I asked. “What happened?”

Pinkie took a deep breath, and said,

“Well, I didn’t know how long you would be at Twilight’s, so I decided to pop over and see how it was going along. You’d already left long before when I got there, so I asked around for you, but nopony knew where you’d gone. I started to get worried that you’d pulled another ‘Everfree’, but when I came back here, Mrs. Cake told me you’d left with a basket of muffins, and you had said there was somepony who really needed them. I didn’t know who that could be, at first, but when I thought of the muffins, I thought of Derpy, so I decided to ask her if you’d been by her house today. Then, as I got close to the woods by Derpy’s house, I thought maybe you'd gone to visit Trixie again. I dunno why it hit me, but I decided to go with it.

“I went to the clearing where Trixie’s caravan was, but I didn't see you there. I hammered on Trixie's door until she answered, and she told me you'd left not too long ago. I went back to Sugarcube Corner, and found you here. You were thrashing around in your sleep, and you looked like you were in a lot of pain. I tried waking you up, but you wouldn't. I got really worried," she added, in a whimper.

My heart ached worse than ever at the sight of her face, the tone of her voice.

“Pinkie, I’m so sorry to keep you worried like that, but I’d rather not say what really happened.”

“No? Not even to me?”

She looked me straight in the eye with those cute, pale-blue orbs of hers, compassion and understanding filling them. I gripped her shoulders.

“Pinkie, I do trust you, but this isn’t an easy burden to place on you. You’ve had enough of a scare this morning.”

“This morning?” she asked, confused. 

Then, after a moment’s reflection, the remembrance of earlier today returned to her. 

“Ohh!”

“Mrs. Cake said you were pretty out of it," I said. "I was worried about you.”

“Oh, Davie,” she said, in a kinder tone. “I’m ok now. I was a little distracted today, but I’m all right, really.”

“Are you sure?”

“Super-duper-sure.”

“Now there’s the Pinkie I remember,” I said, with a smile. 

Pinkie giggled. Seeing her happy again, after all the emotional turbulence she had had to be subjected to recently, brought tears into my own eyes. It would have hurt like a sword to know how hurt she would be to see me have to leave, but here and now, she was still my dear pony friend.

“Davie? Are you ok?”

“...Pinkie, I need to be serious with you,” I said, decisively, sitting up.

“Aww, being serious is no fun,” said Pinkie, in a pouty voice.

“Pinkie, please,” I said, sternly. “This is important.”

Pinkie flinched, as though hurt by my harsh tone, but nodded assent.

“Listen,” I said, patiently. "I’ve only been in Ponyville for 5 days, but…” I breathed a sigh, “What a 5 days it’s been, know what I mean?”

“Uh-huh.”

“But, you see, Ponyville’s not my home. I have a home back in the world I came from, and I can’t just abandon it altogether. One of these days, I’m…”

I paused, as I was coming to the more difficult part of this speech.

“One of these days, I’m going to…to have to leave Ponyville and…and return home.”

“I know,” said Pinkie, sadly.

“But…there’s also…also the possibility that…when I do return…I might not be able to…be able to…”

(Come on, man, get it out into the open. You can do it…)

“Be able to…return to Equestria.”

I’d done it. I’d hit the mark, just as I predicted I would. I saw the impact these words had in Pinkie's stunned look, saw her eyes began to fill with tears. I couldn’t lose her focus just now, though. I gripped her hooves tightly in my hands.

“Stay with me, Pinkie, stay with me. I know, it’s hard to think about, but keep it together long enough for me to ask. Even despite of all that, Pinkie, in spite of entire worlds separating us, would we still be friends?”

The tears still shimmered in Pinkie’s eyes, and I was having a hard time keeping it together myself, but I didn’t let go of her hooves for an instant.

“Davie, how could you ever ask me something like that?”

“I know, Pinkie, I know…”

“You ought to know me better than that.”

“It was cruel of me, especially after-…Wait, what?’

I looked straight into Pinkie’s eyes, and she was…she was smiling.

“I’ve made lots of friends in Ponyville, Davie. In fact, I don’t think there’s a single pony in Ponyville I don’t know, but that doesn’t mean every pony I know in Ponyville stayed in Ponyville. Some moved away, so they’re all over Equestria. I know they’re not as easy to see anymore, but they’re still my friends, and that’s never changed. Neither will it change with you, Davie. I'll always be your friend, because you’ll always be right here .”

And with that, she drew one of her hooves in, my hand still clasping it, and placed it over her heart.

“I could never have asked for a better answer, Pinkie,” I choked out, about to lose it.

“Come here, you big softy-heart,” she said, and she threw her hooves around me as I did the same, holding her close as the tears rolled down my cheeks and into her soft fur.

God bless you, dear Pinkie Pie. God bless you…

“I do have some good news, Pinkie,” I said, after a pause.

“Mm?”

“As much as I’d hate to disappoint Fluttershy, she’s not going to be a tree anytime soon, so you can put your mind at ease about that.”

Pinkie burst into a hearty fit of laughter, into which I soon joined her, the two of us restored in spirit by the reaffirmation of our friendship. Also, I secretly swore that I’d try to patch things up with Trixie, since my previous attempts at trying to be civil with her had ended quite disastrously. For now, however, it was enough just to be safe and sound with my first, and best, pony pal.
> *Alternate POV* Nocturnal Doings
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Luna reopened her eyes, the glow of her horn evaporating. She was standing at a balcony, at the pinnacle of Canterlot Castle, from which she could command a widespread view of Equestria. Yes, she could even see the small town of Ponyville from where she stood; a princess of the night must be ever-vigilant of all of her subjects. She let out a small sigh.

“I would never have anticipated I should meet our new arrival under such circumstances, but how could I sense his need of assistance and stand idly by as he suffered? And he seemed such a good-natured boy, too.”

“Your Highness.”

Luna turned. Minister Ironmane stood at the doorway to the balcony. He inclined his head in a respectful obeisance.

“Ah, Ironmane. What brings you here at this hour?”

“I would have delivered this information to your sister," said Ironmane, "but by the time it arrived, she was already abed. I hope you don’t mind my telling you then, Princess.”

“Not at all. What is it?”

“We have received confirmation from Saddle Arabia. The delegates would be more than pleased to see a magic demonstration from young Twilight Sparkle. That is to say, if she is available to do so.”

“Ah, wonderful," said Luna, "and I’m certain she would be only too eager to agree. When is it to be done?”

“That they left for you and Princess Celestia to decide.”

“Very good. We shall send word once we determine a date. Thank you, Ironmane.”

Ironmane bowed again, and turned to leave, when Luna called after him, making him halt and turn around again.

“Oh! Minister?”

“Yes, Your Majesty?”

“Your arrival caused me to remember. I never did hear what your impression of this human in Ponyville was.”

A slight frown crossed Ironmane's face at this.

“The human in Ponyville, Your Majesty?”

“Indeed, unless there is one skulking around in Baltimare or Fillydelphia that escaped our notice,” said Luna, with a slight chuckle. 

Ironmane thought it only polite to reciprocate with a grin.

“Well, while I can’t be positive at the moment, I can say he’s…unusually prepossessing.”

“Oh?” asked Luna, raising an eyebrow.

“I’ve observed him once or twice while I was in Ponyville," said Ironmane. "He seems rather easygoing, quick to make friends, but also rather impertinent.”

“How so?”

“He doesn’t cow easily to intimidation, and even has the nerve to speak back on the same level,” said Ironmane.

“Something you’re not used to, Minister?” asked Luna, slyly.

“Something I am used to, actually,” said Ironmane, in a somewhat testy tone, “and that is what makes me all the more wary of him. Your Highness, consider what he is. Consider what his kind-”

“Ironmane.”

Ironmane flinched. If there were any two ponies whose powers of speech could quell the unruly as effectively as he, they were the Princesses. Luna didn’t even need to use the Royal Canterlot Voice to silence him.

“Leave that incident entirely out of the question,” she said, in a soft and dangerous voice.

“Incident? It was hardly an incident, Your Majesty!” said Ironmane, heatedly. “There’s a reason it’s stripped of its details in the history books! Can you imagine what a scandal it would arouse if Equestria knew that your sister was almost-”

“I asked you to hold your tongue!” said Luna, sharply, and Ironmane took a cautious step backward. “What happened in those days has no bearing on the events of this age. In any case, how can you assert that the same blood that flowed in the veins of a few rogue humans is the same that flows through his? And why should you take such stock in one foreigner when you deal with several on a daily basis?”

“Your Majesty knows the reason too well,” said Ironmane, stiffly. “Because I owe Princess Celestia my life, and to know that one of those…those creatures tried to-” 

The words wouldn’t come, due to some anger or other strong emotion he was doing his utmost to choke down. 

“it burns my insides.”

Luna had not once removed her eyes from Ironmane’s, but on hearing these words, she sighed and looked to the stars.

“I know, Ironmane, I know. I, too, was infuriated when I was told that-” 

She, too, found it hard to put the rest into words. 

“But is it really worth being harsh on this unoffending lad when he has committed no offense to the crown?”

“He’s committed nothing yet,” said Ironmane, bitterly, “but give him time. He may surprise us yet.”

“Oh, he’s surprised me very much already,” said Luna, in a wry tone. 

Ironmane looked taken aback.

“You’ve met him, Your Highness?”

“In a manner of speaking,” said Luna. “He’s told me he’s braved the Everfree Forest, rescued a filly from its depths, and even had the time to find a home for her. Surely he can’t be all bad, Minister.”

Ironmane looked uncomfortable. On the one hand, he seemed determined to keep his argument to prove that Dave was not to be trusted, or to be given so much leeway, at any rate. On the other hand, he dared not contradict the Princess of the Night when he had already roused her ire.

“I have said he is unusually prepossessing,” said Ironmane, finally, “but he is still a foreigner. It’s my duty to observe his doings and take necessary precautions.”

“Of course it is, Ironmane,” said Luna, “and I have no fault in you for that. There’s a reason your cutie mark is what it is.”

Almost unconsciously, Ironmane, with the aura of his horn, lifted the hem of his cloak to expose his haunch, revealing his cutie mark: a shield crossed by a jousting lance from behind, with an eye in the center of the shield.

“Constant vigilance,” said Ironmane, almost to himself. “I swore myself to that: constant vigilance. I shall do what I can to keep that pledge carried out.”

“I understand,” said Luna, “but do not be harsher on him than is necessary, Ironmane. Do you know when you will encounter him again?”

“I know not, Your Majesty,” said Ironmane, “but should something else arise by his doings, I shall be there to hear him answer for it.”

“Then, that is all that we can ask for,” said Luna, softly. “Good night, Minister.”

“Good night, Your Majesty,” said Ironmane, bowing low, and taking his leave, at last, of the regal winged unicorn.

As soon as he was out of her presence, Ironmane let his features relax from their stony resolution, a troubled look overtaking his countenance, an expression like one who is torn between his own convictions and contrary evidence stacked against it.

“He has not, after all, done anything serious,” he said to himself, “but that is exactly how they took the country by surprise on that day. Princess Celestia trusts him, as does Princess Luna, but he has not earned my trust just yet. He has hardly been in Ponyville a week, and those of the right inner machinations may take days, weeks, even months to prepare their ultimate endeavors. Well, as Celestia saved me from certain doom, I will do what I must to do the same for her. I’m making no mistakes this time.”

So saying, the grim Minister of Foreign Affairs retired to his bedchamber, firm in his resolution.


***


That same evening, though a few hours later into it, Scootaloo lay stretched out on her new bed, gazing up at the moonlit ceiling, as Dinky slept across the room in her own bed, breathing softly. She was tired, but sleep hadn’t yet taken a hold on her. Her mind was busy elsewhere.

She had been excited, ecstatic at the prospect of having a home, a mother, a family, but now that the initial euphoria had settled, she was left feeling…awkward. Even in the days when she had to live with her lazy, drunkard father, she had been given free reign to do what she wanted while he wasn’t watching. She could eat what she wanted, sleep when she wanted, go where she pleased, but now she had someone to put a limit on those freedoms. It wasn’t that she was resentful, per se, but that it was a little tough getting used to. 

There was also the shower of affections her new mother was bestowing upon her. It seemed Derpy was under the impression that Scootaloo had known nothing but neglect and heartache her whole life, and it was time she mended that with extra doses of love and attention. Now, it shouldn’t be supposed that Scootaloo was completely against displays of affection; it was really only when she was out in public when it was thrust upon her, especially in the company of her friends or Rainbow Dash.

And speaking of Rainbow Dash, her idol had actually been part of the group that had helped her get adopted in the first place. The mare she hero-worshiped had actually stepped down to see that she was all right. She truly did care about her.

To sweeten the deal, Scootaloo had even heard Derpy mention once that she had been on good terms with Rainbow back in flight school. To have a mother who was on close terms with Rainbow Dash; it was like her birthday 7 days a week! Maybe she could even give her some side lessons on flying, in between Sundays. There was no reason why they couldn’t add in a few more. How awesome would it be to have a sister like Rainbow Dash?

And then there was Dave. This human, this strange creature she had first encountered dancing with Rarity in a bathrobe, this good-natured giant whom they named an honorary Crusader; it was he who had braved the Everfree Forest just to rescue her, then went through the trouble of finding her a family, an act that earned him her eternal gratitude. She had to figure out how to make it up to him, somehow, someway.

Then, a dark cloud passed over her expression as she thought of 'them': Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. She would have to face them tomorrow at school. They picked the most menial of reasons to poke fun at the Crusaders. They wasted no opportunities in finding the least faults or points of ridicule in them. They had made it a mission to mock Apple Bloom at Diamond Tiara’s cutecenera, tried to make her feel ashamed of her own grandmother. How would they abuse Scootaloo when they found out she really had been an orphan, or found reason to tease her because of being part of Derpy’s family? They might even target Dinky because of her. Her blood tingled to think about it, and she felt herself growing hot with anger at imaging anyone who would make fun of her new mother or sister, but upon reflection, she was glad she was angry. It was a reassurance to her that they were, indeed, her family now.

She was about to finally drop off to sleep when she heard the sound of whimpering. Looking to her side, she saw Dinky fussing beneath her covers, giving little whimpers, obviously locked in some bad dream. Scootaloo slipped out of bed, crossed to Dinky, and gently shook her.

“Dinky, wake up,” she whispered. "Dinky!"

Dinky’s yellow eyes shot open with a sharp yelp, and she breathed quickly and frantically. 

“What’s the matter?” Scootaloo asked.

Dinky turned to Scootaloo, still looking panicky. 

“I…I was having a bad dream,” she said. “I dreamed I was trying to levitate an apple, like I see all the big unicorns do.”

Scootaloo nodded to show she comprehended. Dinky’s magical skills had not yet developed, much like Sweetie Belle’s, though the latter had been showing sparks in moments of excitement lately.

“I got the apple to start glowing,” Dinky went on, “and then it started lifting up! I was so happy that I didn’t see what was happening at first, and the next thing I knew, the apple was a monster that started attacking Ponyville!”

Scootaloo grimaced. Of all things Dinky could have described, she had not seen that coming.

“I tried to change it back, but I couldn't! It just laughed and stomped around! Everypony was running away from it! And then…and then…” 

Tears sprang into the little unicorn’s eyes. 

“It took Mama, and Sparkler, and you, and ate you all up! Right in front of me! And then it turned around to eat me, and…and…!”

She could say no more. She covered her face with her hooves and cried. A sharp pang went through Scootaloo’s heart. It hurt her to see her new little sister like this, especially when she was always so happy and carefree whenever she saw her. Also, there was an extra pang added from the fact that Scootaloo had been a part of the nightmare. Dinky really cared about her that much, even though they’d only just become sisters. She wasn’t sure what to do, or what to say. She wasn’t used to this stuff.

Suddenly, the hall light clicked on, startling the two. The door opened, and Sparkler, tired but alert, entered.

“Is everything ok?” she asked. “I heard somepony scream.”

“Dinky,” said Scootaloo, glad to have somepony else intervene. “She had a bad dream.”

Dinky sniffled and wiped at her eyes. 

“Sorry, Sparkly,” she said, in a small voice. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“Oh, Dinky, it’s ok,” said Sparkle, kindly. 

She walked over and sat beside the bed, so that her head was level with her sister’s. 

“Now, what happened in this dream?” she asked.

And so, once again, Dinky related her bizarre and terrible dream, the repetition not at all sitting well with Scootaloo. Sparkler listened attentively, and her gentle face looked pained as Dinky came to the conclusion and started crying again.

“Dinky, that’s horrible,” she said, leaning in and nuzzling the disconsolate filly gently. “I’m sorry you had such a dream. but that’s all it was, a dream.”

“But…but what if it does happen?” asked Dinky, leaning against her older sister’s cheek. “What if I do make something bad happen when I learn magic?”

“It won’t be something as bad as that,” reassured Sparkler. 

She paused, then asked,

“You want to hear a secret?”

Dinky sniffled, then said, “Uh-huh.”

“I did something pretty crazy when I first learned magic, when I was about your age.”

Dinky wiped her nose, looking curious.

“What did you do?”

“I turned Mom’s wings green,” said Sparkler, with a grim smile.

Dinky gasped, and Scootaloo burst into a laugh.

“Seriously?” she asked.

“Super-seriously,” said Sparkler. “Mom wasn’t too happy about it, and grounded me for a week. I wanted to make amends for it, but I didn’t know how. So, I decided to spend my time grounded in trying to remember how I did the spell, and figuring out how to reverse it. Mind you, I was only a little filly, so I didn’t know how to distinguish one spell from the next. I wasn’t coming up with any answers in a hurry, so I decided to go out for a walk. I was feeling pretty gloomy, because Mom had been pretty moody. In fact, she had been ever since-” 

She suddenly stopped herself, even though Scootaloo and Dinky were all ears. 

“Well, she’d been kind of down lately,” she continued, “and I couldn’t help thinking I’d only made it worse. As I was walking, however, my horn started to act up, and began thudding my head against the ground, as if a magnet was calling it. I had no idea what was going on, but I dug at the spot my horn was pointing to, and I found a little diamond, all covered with dirt, but still pretty. I decided to take it home, clean it up, and give it to Mom for her birthday, which, coincidentally, was the day my grounding ended. Well, I polished it up as well as I could, and it didn’t look half-bad after that, so I wrapped it up and waited for Mom’s birthday. When it rolled around, I finally gave it to her, and her face just instantly lit up. I told her I was sorry about her wings, but she just scooped me up and hugged me super-tight. I was so overjoyed that my simple little gift made her so happy, that I didn’t notice two things.”

“What were those?” asked Scootaloo.

“One, that, in my excitement, I made another burst of magic that turned Mom’s wings back to gray. And second, that I’d gotten my cutie mark!”

She turned slightly to allow them to see the three diamonds on her flank. Dinky and Scootaloo looked awed.

“I’d figured out, in that moment before earning it, that it was my duty to make those around me happy with beautiful gems. It was a wonderful day on all accounts.”

“Wow,” said Dinky.

“But do you want to know what’s even better?” asked Sparkler.

“What?”

“That very same day, Mom started feeling ill, so she went to the hospital, and guess what she found out, little sister.”

“Um, I dunno, what?” asked Dinky.

Sparkler giggled and nuzzled her nose against hers. 

“She found out you were in her tummy.”

Dinky gave a small gasp.

“That’s one heck of a birthday,” said Scootaloo, amazed.

“I couldn’t agree more, Scootaloo. So, after a little bit of an accident with Mom’s wings, everything had turned out all right in the end after all.”

Dinky smiled brightly.

"Feel better now?" Sparkler asked.

“Uh-huh. Thanks, Sparkly.”

“Anytime.”

Dinky raised herself and threw her little hooves around her big sister’s neck, and Sparkler, with another soft giggle, held her close for a moment or two, as Scootaloo watched. She was impressed with how Sparkler had been able to banish Dinky’s night terrors away, and the story made her feel warm inside as well. To think that so much good could happen all in one day. It reminded her of how she felt only yesterday, when she became a Hooves.

“Good night, Dinky,” said Sparkler, giving her little sister a kiss on the forehead.

“Good night, Sparkly,” said Dinky, nestling back under the covers. 

Sparkler then turned to Scootaloo, as she crawled back into her own bed.

“You all right, Scoot?” she asked.

“Yeah. I was just worried about Dinky. That was a really sweet story.”

“Thanks." 

She crossed over to Scootaloo's bed and placed a hoof on hers, her expression becoming slightly more serious.

"Listen, Scootaloo, you know you can always come to Mom or me if anything’s wrong, right?” she asked.

“Mm-hmm," said Scootaloo, nodding.

“So, tell me, are you sure nothing else is bothering you?”

Scootaloo hesitated.

“Well," she said, slowly, "It just feels kind of...awkward, having a family again. I mean, before, I was so thrilled, but now I feel kind of...I dunno.”

“Don’t worry about it,” said Sparkler, gently tousling her mane, “I understand. You’ve made a huge transition, and it’ll take some time to get into the swing of things, but I know you’ll be fine.”

This reassurance brought a smile to Scootaloo’s face. Then, after a bit of thought, she asked,

“Do you think you could ask Mom if we can arrange Rainbow Dash to give me some flying lessons on the side?”

“Of course. I’ll ask her in the morning. Good night, Scoot.”

And she leaned down and kissed Scootaloo’s forehead, an act that made the little pegasus crinkle her nose, but she appreciated the sentiment nonetheless.

“Good night, Sparkler.”

The gentle-natured unicorn took one last look at her little sisters settling back into bed, smiled, and left the bedroom, closing the door softly behind her.


***


“Sweetie Belle, what are you still doing up?”

Rarity was exhausted, and thus her patience was stretched as thin as a bowstring. Sweetie Belle, however, was fussing around her older sister’s workroom, frequently returning to the sewing bench, where a strip of red cloth was laid out, already embroidered with the emblem of the Cutie Mark Crusaders.

“This has to be perfect,” muttered Sweetie Belle to herself, as she once more double-checked the fabric.

“Sweetie, you have school in the morning, and it’s now almost 11 o’clock.”

“I know, I know, but I wanna make sure this cape looks just right.”

“Honestly, you and your Crusader capes,” grumbled Rarity. “First, you use my gold silk without my permission for the first three capes, and now you expect me to just sit back and watch you make another, and at such a late hour too!”

“But I thought it added the perfect touch,” said Sweetie Belle, stung by these words. “Besides, Dinky ought to have a cape just like ours.”

Rarity snapped into a new alertness at Sweetie Belle’s response.

“This cape’s for Dinky?” she asked.

“Uh-huh. We want to make her a member tomorrow, so the cape has to be exactly like ours.”

“You’re making her a Crusader now, too? I had no idea Dinky didn’t have her cutie mark yet.”

“She’s never brought it up before, and we only just noticed. We’d thought about adding new members for a while now, even before Dave joined, but now with Dinky and Scootaloo being sisters, it kind of sealed the deal.”

Rarity just stood staring at her little sister as she continued to fuss over the cape, amazed at her dedication and good-heartedness. She remembered the days when they would quarrel over everything, particularly from Sweetie Belle’s need to assist her older sis with everything, even though this usually led to a bigger mess than before, though only because Sweetie Belle had been innocently unaware of the implications. Recently, however, things had gotten much smoother between them. Sweetie Belle was visiting much more than she had in Rarity’s colder days, and there was a better understanding between the two of them, although the elder sister still felt the title of 'best older sister' rested on Applejack’s shoulders. Rarity knew she wasn’t perfect, but she was trying, little by little, to repair the damage caused by their distance apart after she had moved away from her parents’ home.

Finally, she allowed herself a little smile.

“Sweetie Belle, that’s very kind of you to want to do this for Dinky, but why don’t I finish this up?”

Sweetie Belle looked up, surprised.

“You’d want to do that for me?” she asked. “But what about you? Weren’t you making more clothes for Dave today?”

“Invariably, yes, among my other projects.”

“How do you do it, anyway? Dave isn’t a pony, so it must be pretty tough.”

“Oh, not at all, darling. From what Dave’s told me, humans share many fashion choices as we ponies do, only they tend to always pair shirts with pants or shorts or the like.”

“Ohh. So, do you like making human clothes?”

“It’s a very ambitious side-project, yes, but one I’m fully up to the task for. Why, I might even call Fancypants or Hoity Toity in and see what they think.” 

Rarity saw she was getting off track and cleared her throat. 

“But I digress. Run along to bed, and I’ll make sure Dinky’s cape is perfect.”

“Ok!" said Sweetie Belle, eagerly. "Thanks, Rarity!”

She bounced over and nuzzled up to her big sister. Rarity smiled and pulled her into a side hug with one foreleg.

“You’re welcome, darling. Good night.”

“Night!”

Sweetie Belle scampered upstairs as Rarity, putting her work glasses on, sat herself behind the sewing bench and inspected Sweetie Belle’s work. The younger unicorn had put her cape beside the machine as a kind of exemplary template to follow her work from, and from what Rarity could see, very little differed between them. Only a few stitches were incomplete, and the patch still had to be sewed on, but otherwise, it was a near copy. Rarity couldn’t help but feel a warmth in her heart that Sweetie Belle took her big sister’s fashion career to heart, especially given her young age.

“Well, this shouldn’t take too long,” she said, levitating a sewing needle. She chuckled to herself. “Look at me. I tell Sweetie Belle off for using my gold silk, and now I’m fixing up a cape it was made from. Sometimes I think there’s such a thing as being too generous.” 

And she set to work on the unfinished cape.


***


The night hours were usually a time for repose, relaxation, or slumber, but one pony was still wide awake. In the little house she shared with Bon Bon, barely a block away from the sweet shop, Lyra was still in a state of excitement over her interview with Dave and Twilight.

“You should’ve been there, Bonnie! You’d have learned so much!”

“Yes, I’m sure I would have, Lyra,” said Bon Bon, trying to keep her patience as she readjusted her position on her bed, “but you’ve told me about a dozen times now. Do you think you can settle down so we can get some sleep?” 

Bon Bon had spent the time while Lyra was away in planning new special treats for Nightmare Night, at least until she needed Lyra's final opinions.

“Sleep? Who can sleep when everything I’ve ever studied has been confirmed?” asked Lyra.

“A good many ponies, you’d be surprised to find,” said Bon Bon, a bit testier than would have been wise, perhaps. 

Sensing this, she changed her tone and turned over to look at her unicorn pal. 

“Look, Lyra, I am happy for you, really. I know you’ve always been, well, let’s face it, a little obsessed about humans-”

“Because they’re so fascinating!” said Lyra, kicking her hind legs as she lay on her bed. “Those fingers, those toes, the stuff they use when they don’t have wings or magic! Who wouldn’t be fired up about that?!”

“Well, from what you’ve told me of what he said, he does seem to come from a very interesting locale," said Bon Bon. "Anyway, my point is, it’s great that he answered your questions, but can you put a lid on it? You’ve been talking nonstop about it ever since you came back, and it’s starting to get a little grating.”

She had said this as gently as she could, but her words still made Lyra’s smile fade.

“Lyra, I’m sorry-” Bon Bon began.

“No, Bonnie, you’re right,” said Lyra, humbly. “I guess I am going a little overboard.” 

She stretched herself out, staring at the ceiling. 

“But, it feels so good to feel right for once," she said, "to know I’m not crazy.”

“Oh, Lyra, not this again,” said Bon Bon, wearily.

“I'm serious, Bonnie. Remember what I said about when I was in grade school in Canterlot?”

“Grade school…" Bon Bon mused. "Oh! You mean your history project?”

“Yeah. I did a report on humans in relation to Equestrian history. It was brilliant! But my teacher told me humans were little better than a myth, and that the class was supposed to be concerned with ‘fact’, so she failed my assignment." 

Lyra turned over and punched her pillow in frustration. 

"It bugged me all the way up until graduation.”

“Lyra,” said Bon Bon, soothingly, but Lyra went on.

“I wanted to be an anthropologist, but nopony ever takes it seriously, or even really knows what anthropology is, so I decided to be a lyrist instead, like my cutie mark told me to. At least there I could vent my feelings through music.”

“And you’re a wonderful lyrist, Lyra," said Bon Bon.

“Not enough to be in the Canterlot Symphony Orchestra," said Lyra. "Octavia was the one for that.”

“You don’t hate her for that, do you?”

“Hate her?" asked Lyra, incredulously. "How can I hate her? She deserves to be part of the Orchestra. She’s amazing! I just…” 

Lyra sighed and thumped her head against her pillow. 

“I’m just tired of nothing I do ever amounting to anything. I wanna be a somepony who can change lives.”

There was a pause.

“You’ve changed mine," said Bon Bon, gently.

Lyra looked up, surprised. Bon Bon was sitting up, smiling at her.

“I hadn’t had that many friends before you moved to Ponyville," she said. "All I had were the customers as they came and went while I sat behind the cash register. You’re a ton of fun to be around, even if you are a little nutty. Every day with you is like an adventure. I know I get a little impatient with you, but nothing will change the fact that you’re my best friend in the whole world.”

Lyra’s orange eyes went moist, her lip quivering. Then, she launched herself off of her bed and threw herself at Bon Bon, hugging her tightly. The compassionate candy-maker put her hooves around the human-crazy lyrist, completing the embrace.

“Thanks, Bonnie,” said Lyra, huskily. “I needed that.”

“Anytime, Ly-Ly,” said Bon Bon.

“Hey!” said Lyra, in a jestingly insulted tone, pulling back to look Bon Bon in the eye.

“If you get to call me by my nickname, then I can do the same to you,” said Bon Bon, with a smirk. “Turnabout is fair play,” she added, booping Lyra on the nose with her hoof, prompting both of them to break into giggles. 

Finally, exhaustion seemed to catch up with Lyra, as she yawned mightily, disengaged herself from Bon Bon, and settled herself beneath her covers. Relieved to finally have some peace for the night, Bon Bon snuggled under her own sheets, both ponies wishing each other good night before Lyra winked the light out with her horn.

All was silent at last, until,

“Still, fingers. How do they work?”

“Lyra,” said Bon Bon, in a gently warning voice.

“A-heh, right, sorry,” said Lyra, sheepishly. “Night.”

Bon Bon sighed and settled back into slumber.


***


But not all who were consumed with nocturnal thoughts were at peace, or even in the company of another. In her caravan hidden in the woods, the pony once known as Beatrix Lulamoon, she who now went under the mantle of the Great and Powerful Trixie, was deep in conflicted mental concentrations. She had a piece of parchment in front of her, and a quill, held in her unicorn’s aura, was scribbling furiously. 

There were two things foremost on her fevered mind: Dave and Twilight Sparkle. In regards to the latter, she still harbored an intense resentment toward the scholarly mare after the events of her previous stay in Ponyville. She had not known a day of peace since her exile, as word had spread of her humiliation at Twilight’s hooves. In fact, the paper she was working on was a scrap sheet of ways and means with which she might attain revenge against her for the injustice wrought upon her by that Ursa Minor incident, from pranks set around her home to vile rumors, but she had difficulty knowing which to choose.

Then there was Dave. This human, wherever he came from, had at least tried to be friendly towards her. He actually showed concern for her well-being, and even brought her a present of muffins, and how did she repay him? By frightening him with the hard truth. She had only been trying to warn him before it was too late, but had she gone about it the wrong way?

She shook her head vigorously to clear it. Why was she taking such an interest in this stranger? He was only a temporary acquaintance. She had told him herself, never form attachments if you don’t intend to stick around. As soon as she was in better spirits again, she would be on her way.

So, then, why was she sticking around in these woods? Why did she hesitate?

“Revenge on Twilight Sparkle,” she breathed to herself in response. “That, and only that. Once I think of how, then we can proceed.”

Thus affirming her own doubts, she continued her planning well into the night.

> Letters, Bullies, and Harvesting
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pinkie hadn’t had another nightmare, but when I woke up the next day, she did seem preoccupied about something. She was sitting at a desk in one corner of the room, one littered with many papers containing what looked like party ideas, some of which were crossed off. That indicated that she didn’t repeat the same type of party each time. That was quite smart, actually. 

She sat with a fresh piece of paper in front of her, and chewed meditatively at a feather quill held inexplicably in one hoof. The wastebasket sitting at the foot of the desk was filled with crumpled paper balls. Was she trying to write a novel or something? I approached her.

“What’s up, Pinks?” I asked.

“Words," Pinkie mumbled.

“Huh?”

“I never thought words could be so shy,” she said, putting the quill down and resting her elbows on the desk. “I’m trying to make them come out, but they won’t come. It’s like there’s a wall in my head keeping those poor words back.” 

She tapped her forehead with one hoof.

“That’s called ‘writer’s block’, Pinkie,” I explained. “Everyone gets it sometimes. You’ll get over it eventually.”

“But I don’t have eventually,” said Pinkie, petulantly, “I need it now.”

“Need what now?" I asked. "What are you even trying to write?”

“I can’t tell you!” she said, sharply. 

She covered the blank sheet with her hooves, as if she were taking a test and didn’t want anyone to copy off of her .

“Pinkie,” I said, dryly, “that only works if there’s something actually written on it.”

“You still can’t see!” said Pinkie, protectively. “Mine! Get your own words!”

“Pinkie-”

She actually hissed at me, like an angry cat.

“Ok, ok, settle down,” I said, in a placating tone. “Not asking for trouble here. Just, try to take it easy, ok? I’ve dabbled in writing before, and it’s not always simple. Stories just come and go.”

“But I’m not writing a story,” said Pinkie. “I’m writing a letter.” 

She then gasped and clapped a hoof over her mouth. 

“Oh no! I spoiled it!”

“What’s so bad about writing a letter?” I asked. “People write letters all the time. Well, technically, back in my world, we correspond through Facebook and other things nowadays, but still.”

“What’s a ‘Facebook’?” asked Pinkie, tilting her head. “Is that where you make a whole book that looks like your face? Sounds fun!”

“Er, not quite like that," I said, although the imagery of such a thing was pretty funny. "It’s just a way of communicating with people through computers.”

“Ooh, neat! Maybe I ought to try this ‘Facebook’ thing someday, if I can find a computer.“ 

She then sighed in resignation. 

“But yeah, you got me. I’m trying to write a letter to…” 

She paused, uncertain.

“To?” I prompted, gently.

Pinkie glanced pensively at me, then sighed again.

“To my family.”

“Really?" I asked, intrigued. "Pinkie, that’s great! What made you decide?”

“Well, after my nightmare yesterday, I had to spend some time to think it over," she said, sadly. "It was awful. it made me realize that I might never see my family again if I don’t do something now.”

“Aw, Pinkie," I said, putting a hand to her shoulder consolingly. “So, what’s the problem?”

“I told you: words. I want to tell them how I’ve been, but what do I say? What do I tell them? There’s so, so much!”

“That’s true,” I said, contemplatively. “You have lived a very active life: saving the country more than once, becoming an Element Bearer, making friends of everyone you’ve met.”

“So what do I say?” asked Pinkie, in desperation.

I rubbed my chin in contemplation for a moment or two, weighing my answer.

“Well, a good start always lies in, well, the start. A good introduction helps pave the way for the rest of the letter.”

Pinkie paused, looking at the paper in front of her, and the quill in her hoof, then turned to me and asked,

“Will you write it for me? I'll say it and you write it.”

“Me?" I asked, startled. "Well, gee, I don’t know, Pinks. I mean-”

“Please?”

Pinkie clasped her hooves together and looked at me imploringly. Now that was just plain cheating.

“Aw, come on, Pinkie, don’t do this to me.”

Her eyes became huge, sad, and soulful, complete with quivering irises.

“Aw, no. No-no-no, not the eyes. Anything but the eyes!”

Her lip quivered.

“Aw, jeez, not the lip, too!”

And then, the coup de grace: she actually whimpered like a little puppy.

“Aww, dang it!” I groaned. “All right, all right, I’ll do it.”

Pinkie’s entire sad face swapped places with a beaming grin that, I swear to God, actually made a squeak noise.

“You really know how to fight unfair, you know that?” I asked, half in jest, as she moved for me to sit down. 

She got behind me and, putting her hooves on my shoulders, rested her chin on top of my head.

“I’ve never actually used one of these before,” I added, picking up the quill and dipping it into the ink well, “but I’ve always wanted to. Just tell me what to write, and I’ll write.”

“Okie-dokie-lokie!” said Pinkie. 

As she dictated, I wrote.

“‘Dear Mom, Dad, Marble, Limestone, Maud, and Grammy,…how have you been?’”

“Good, good. Keep it up.”

“‘I’m super-duper-extra-humongo-sorry that it’s taken me so long to write to you, but so much has happened since I came to Ponyville. I got a job at the local bakery: Sugarcube Corner. Mr. and Mrs. Cake, who run it, are super-duper nice! And they even have foals of their own! They’re my little playmates! I’ve also got six super-wonderful friends: Twilight Sparkle, who’s Princess Celestia’s super-smart student; Fluttershy, who’s really nice and loves animals; Rainbow Dash, who’s super-fast and super-cool; Rarity, who makes amazing dresses; Applejack, who works on a farm full of yummy-rific apples; and Spike, who’s a dragon, but just a baby one.

“‘I wish I could tell you everything that’s happened here since I moved, but it would take so long to put into one letter. Hopefully I’ll be able to write to you more often and tell you what I’ve been up to. I really just wanted to see how you’ve been, and to tell you that I still love you all, even if it has been a long time...’”

Pinkie paused, and I felt a drop of something wet land on my scalp. She was starting to cry.

“Stay strong, Pinkie,” I said. “Stay strong.”

“‘So, I hope this letter finds you all safe and sound, and I hope to see you all again someday soon. Love-’”

“Hold up, Pinkie. You should sign it yourself. At least do that.”

“You’re right.”

We swapped places, and Pinkie, fighting to hold back her tears, wrote, in very loopy letters, ‘Pinkamena “Pinkie” Pie’.

“I’m proud of you, Pinkie,” I said, once more putting my hand to her shoulder. 

She sniffled and smiled.

“Thanks, Davie. Now I’ve just got to send it off to them via Derpy.”

So saying, she took out an envelope and began scrawling an address on it.

“Hang on a sec, Pinkie,” I said, as she wrote, “do you even remember where they live?”

“Of course, silly! Dad used to tell me that the Pies have always had that plot of farm land, for at least 8 generations of Pies!”

“8?!" I said, surprised. "That’s…pretty dedicated for rock farmers.”

“My great-great-grand-Pies sought long and hard for that land, and by Celestia, they earned it!” said Pinkie, proudly.

She finished addressing the envelope, stuffed the letter inside, and plastered a stamp to the corner.

“Now, if I’m lucky, Derpy can have this delivered ASDSAP.”

“Huh?”

“As Super-Duper Speedily As Possible!”

“Ahh, I see. Well, if we see her during the breakfast rush, we can hand it off to her.”

“Yeah! Good idea!”

At that moment, there was a loud rumbling, like the growl of an angry beast. Both of us started at the abruptness of it, but then Pinkie looked down at her own stomach.

“Whoopsie! My tummy’s trying to tell me I’m hungry. Rainbow Dash was right: it does pay to listen to your gut!”

“Couldn’t have said it better myself, Pinks," I said, grinning. "Now, let’s go get some breakfast.”


***
	

After filling up on another hearty breakfast, Pinkie and I went out to search for Derpy, as Pinkie's trying to write the letter, and my intervention, had occupied a good portion of the morning rush. When we first came downstairs, Mr. Cake told us Derpy had actually been among the earliest patrons that morning, something surprising given her habits, but she looked like she was in a very good mood. We decided, therefore, to try and catch her on her route today and see if she could deliver Pinkie’s letter.

At last, we found her as she was stuffing a letter into Berry Punch’s mailbox. The purple-pink mare wasn’t around yet (probably sleeping off another bottle of her brew), so we had the mail mare to ourselves to speak to.

“Oh! Hey, guys!” she said.

“Hiya, Derpy,” I said. “How are the girls?”

“Great! Scootaloo took Dinky with her to school on her scooter, since she usually goes after she runs her paper route. That way, I was able to grab an earlier breakfast.”

“Oh? Well, that’s good to hear.”

“You know what else? She actually wanted me to ask Rainbow Dash if she could give her flying lessons on the side, besides the Sunday lessons I already agreed to give her.”

“That’s great!” said Pinkie.

“I know! I’m sure Dash will only be too happy to agree!”

“Oh, I hope so," I said, "considering how much Scoot looks up to her.”

“Yeah," said Derpy. "If I do so say so myself, I always did think of Rainbow Dash as part of the family, like the sister I never had.”

“Aww, that’s so sweet,” I said, “but I think we’re getting a little sidetracked here.”

“Huh? Oh! Yeah!" said Pinkie, catching on. "Derpy, we have a special delivery that we need you to make.”

“Oh? What is it? I love special deliveries!”

“Can you deliver this to the Pie Family Rock Farm ASDESAP?” Pinkie asked, brandishing the letter.

“Huh?” asked Derpy, tilting her head.

“As Super-Duper-Extra-Speedily As Possible!”

(She must have added that ‘Extra’ in at the last minute.)

“Oh! I’ll certainly do my best," said Derpy. "Let me see the address.”

Pinkie handed her the letter, and she rapidly roved her lopsided eyes over the address.

“Hmm…That’s quite a distance from Ponyville, but I can manage that no problem! You can count on me, Pinkie!”

“Great! Thank you so much, Derpy!”

Pinkie threw her hooves around the mail mare’s neck, and Derpy patted her back with a smile.

“Anytime, Pinkie. I’ll take care of it as soon as I can. Later, guys!”

We waved goodbye as Derpy gathered up her mailbag and soared off again.

“Well, that’s done,” I said. “So, what do you want to do today?”

“Do? There’s only one thing to do!”

And before I could say anything, Pinkie zipped off back down the street toward Sugarcube Corner, leaving me by myself and quite bewildered.

“Probably planning to throw an ‘I Sent a Letter to My Folks’ party,” I muttered as I headed after her.


***


When I got back, however, it was to find Pinkie plunked down on her hindquarters right in front of a dark pink mailbox I hadn’t noticed before. She was staring at it with the utmost intensity.

“Uh, Pinkie?”

“Shh!” 

She held up her hoof to silence me.

“Pinkie, honestly, we just gave the letter to Derpy. It’s not like Spike’s fire-delivery service. Give it some time!”

“I know, but I wanna be here when it gets here, so I’ll be able to read it right away, because if I don’t read it right away, I won’t be able to reply right away, and if I don’t reply right away, they might think the letter got lost in the mail or that I forgot, and if that happens, then they might get worried and lose focus, and if they lose focus, they might not get the autumn rock rotation in on time, and if they don’t get the autumn rock rotation in on time, they might lose the farm, and if they lose the farm, they’ll be thrown out into the cold, cruel world with nowhere else to go, losing that plot of land my great-great-grand-Pies worked so hard for!!”

Her voice had gotten much more panicked as she pursued this compound stream of events, pacing and stomping around in a frenzy, and now it had reached a fever pitch as she reared up, leaning into my bewildered face further with each next emphasized word she spoke.

“And it’ll be All! My! FAULT!!”

“So, in other words, you’re not moving a step from that mailbox,” I said, nonplussed.

“Nope!” she said, cheerily, as she restored herself to her original position, while I re-straightened up, my back hurting from the sudden arching I had to do from her freak-out.

“Pinkie, don’t you think you’re stressing yourself out about this a wee bit?" I asked, delicately. "I mean, I’ll admit I often worry about worst-case scenarios, but nine times out of ten, those scenarios never come true. It’s the worrying that makes the experience worse, not the actual prospect.”

“I just don’t want anything to ruin this for me, Davie,” said Pinkie. “I took such a risk writing to them after so long. I have to do this right.”

“I understand, Pinkie,” I said, patting her back consolingly. “Do you want me to sit here with you?”

“No, Davie, that’s fine. I couldn’t ask you to do that. I want you to go have fun today.”

“Well, all right, if you’re sure. Just don’t overdo it, ok? At least get some sleep and something to eat when you have to, all right?”

“Okie-dokie-lokie!” she said, brightly.

“Good. I’m gonna go see if I can find a few odd jobs. These bits I got from recycling Berry Punch’s bottles won’t last forever.”

“Gotcha. Have fun!”

I didn’t really want to leave Pinkie that way, but it didn’t look like anything was gonna budge her from that mailbox, so what could I do? I walked off back down the street as she sat there, staring doggedly at that metal post receptacle, as if it were engaging her in a staring contest. God preserve that poor pony.


***


As I wended my way down the road, my thoughts occupied in thinking of ponies I could help out, I found that I had come within range of the Ponyville schoolhouse, and could hear fillies and colts laughing. Must have been recess. God, I miss those simple days. 

I was drawing near, and was passing by a tree that stood near the school fence, when I saw something that made me double back.

Scootaloo and Dinky were standing at one part of the schoolyard, and the pegasus filly was standing protectively in front of the unicorn, her face set with belligerent dislike as two Earth pony fillies approached. One was pink, with a purple and white mane and tail, the former of which was crowned by a tiara, exactly like the one on her little flank. She also had light blue eyes, which were narrowed in a smug sneer. Her companion was gray, with a silvery white mane and tail, her mane styled in a ponytail. She wore blue-framed glasses and a blue pearl necklace, and her cutie mark looked like a silver spoon. 

It nearly made me want to face-palm and groan as I realized these must be Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, the bullying fillies the Crusaders had told me about; their names were literally their own cutie marks. What did that even mean, though? Diamond Tiara looked like a stuck-up princess, maybe even a daddy’s girl, but what kind of talent was supposed to be represented by a tiara? Silver Spoon’s was probably based on the phrase ‘born with a silver spoon in my mouth’, meaning she must have grown up in the lap of luxury. Still, what kind of future could you have with cutie marks like those? Perhaps I didn't know enough about cutie marks to make assumptions.

“Well, well, if it isn’t Little Orphan Scoot,” said Diamond Tiara, in an irritatingly condescending voice.

Scootaloo’s eyes narrowed.

“I’m not an orphan,” she growled, wings bristling.

“Oh? Then where are your parents?” asked Diamond Tiara, leaning in close, but Scootaloo only continued to glare at her. “Well?”

“Y-You see her mom every day!” piped up Dinky, defiantly. 

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon looked at her, raising their eyebrows.

“Who asked you, runt?” asked Silver Spoon.

It was all I could to keep from leaping out and giving those brats a piece of my mind. Now they were picking on Dinky!

“You do!” said Dinky, obstinately. “She delivers the mail every day!”

Scootaloo shot her a warning look, though whether it was for her own sake or Dinky’s, I wasn’t sure. However, the damage was done. The two stuck-up fillies looked at each other, and then burst into a gale of laughter.

“You’re telling me,” said Silver Spoon, after she’d laughed herself stupid for some seconds, “that you had to borrow a family? And Dinky’s at that?”

“That is so pathetic!” said Diamond Tiara.

“It is not!” snapped Dinky. “She’s a Hooves now, and she’s my sister! If you don’t stop picking on her, I’ll-”

“You’ll what?” asked Diamond Tiara, coldly. 

Dinky’s steam ebbed away under her glare, and she shrank down. 

“Hmph. That’s what I thought.”

“You leave her alone,” said Scootaloo, in a low and dangerous voice.

“What are you going to do about it?” asked Diamond Tiara, and the two antagonists began walking around the infuriated pegasus and the cowed unicorn like a pair of lionesses. “We should have known you’d end up this way, Scootaloo.”

“You can’t fly, you’re still a blank flank, and now you have to borrow somepony else’s family because you don’t have one of your own,” said Silver Spoon.

“And not just any family,” said Diamond Tiara, “but that klutzy mail mare of all ponies. How sad.”

“Take that back,” Scootaloo growled.

“Or what? Is the little baby blank flank about to cry?”

This was too much! Feeling like my blood was on fire, I stepped out from behind the tree and began marching my way over. I had to show these two that they couldn’t just push around Scootaloo and her new sister!

“Is there a problem here?” I asked.

I was doing my utmost to keep my anger out of my voice. It would have looked pretty bad if a grown man in his 20s started yelling at two grade-schoolers he didn’t even know. The four fillies looked up, Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon gazing up at me in mute astonishment, Scootaloo and Dinky looking grateful.

“Mr. Dave!” chirped Dinky.

“Hi, Dinky, Scootaloo,” I said, complacently, before turning to the two bullies. “I take it these are Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon?”

“Uh-huh,” said Scootaloo.

“Nice to meet you both,” I said, civilly, whilst crouching down to be on their level. 

The two ponies still looked befuddled.

“Uh, likewise,” said Diamond Tiara.

“Yeah,” said Silver Spoon.

“Now, I don’t claim to have perfect hearing,” I said, digging one pinky finger into my ear by way of dumb show, “but I could have sworn you four were having a bit of a disagreement about something.”

“They were making fun of Mama and Scootaloo!” squeaked Dinky. 

The two bratty fillies shot her a swift glance.

“Is that so?” I asked. 

I admired that Dinky was being honest, but in a more dangerous situation, she’d be in some pretty hot water if she didn’t keep a lid on it.

Diamond Tiara chuckled nervously. 

“Oh, she doesn’t mean that. Why would we say anything like that?”

“Well, I’ve only been here a little while,” I said, “but I can’t say I’d imagine Dinky or even Scoot here lying to me, would you, girls?”

“No way!” said Scootaloo.

“Nuh-uh!” said Dinky.

“Look, kids,” I said, levelly, to Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, “I’m not blind or deaf. I could pick up the gist of what you were saying to these two. Plus, I know what happened the day Scootaloo got lost in the Everfree Forest.” 

Diamond Tiara, looking even more nervous than before, was about to speak, when I held up my hand. 

“Hold it. If you think I’m going to just rat you out, that's not my intention. Instead, I just want the two of you to know that these two are my friends, and that I'll know if they're being mistreated again. It might mean I'd have to have a chat with Miss Cheerilee, and no one wants that, right?”

I spoke civilly enough, but the effect was still the same. It was clear that neither of them wanted to be told on for what they did, and were scared that the fillies they'd been picking on had such a big protector. Silver Spoon looked like she wanted to say something, but I cut her off too.

“You might be asking yourself, ‘Why is this guy on their side?’ Well, here’s my answer.”

I reached into my pocket, pulled out and tied on my Crusader bandana for them to see. They blanched.

“I’m an honorary Crusader, and we Crusaders...” 

I put one arm each around Scootaloo and Dinky and drew them in close to my sides. 

“…stick together. Get it?”

The two bullies nodded, then Diamond Tiara said,

“Uh, come on, Silver Spoon. Let’s go play on the swings.”

“Yeah, good idea.”

The two trotted off, not looking back even once.

“That was amazing!” said Scootaloo. “You totally showed them!”

“It was nothing,” I said, grinning from ear to ear. “But now listen, kids, if they start picking on you again, come to me or Miss Cheerilee, all right? Never let bullying persist.”

“Got it!” said Dinky. “Thanks, Mr. Dave.”

“You’re welcome, kids. Now, I’d better be off. You two have a good day, all right?” 

I ruffled their manes, making them giggle.

“Ok. See you, Dave!” said Scootaloo.

I straightened up and exited the schoolyard, but only walked about a dozen paces from it before bumping into something level with my face. A moment’s disorientation later, I saw that it was Rainbow Dash, hovering in the air.

“Oh! Sorry, Rainbow, I didn’t see you there.”

“No sweat, pal," she said. "I saw the whole thing." 

"Did you?"

"Yeah. Gotta say, the way you stood up for Scoot and Dinky like that, I’ve got a lotta respect for that kinda loyalty."

She compounded this by giving me a cuff on the shoulder.

“Thanks," I said, grinning. "What brings you around here, though?”

“Derpy talked to me while delivering my mail, and said Scootaloo wanted me to give her flying lessons during the week. Do you know who put her up to it?” 

She asked this in a would-be suspicious tone, hooves on her hips.

“Don’t look at me,” I said, innocently. “I had nothing to do with that decision. Besides, didn't you say you'd be more comfortable teaching her than raising her?”

Rainbow raised an eyebrow, then chuckled, her voice cracking in the process.

“Yeah, I did say that. I was just messing with ya. I’m totally down with giving the kid some pointers. I just came by to tell her that before recess ended. She’s gonna have to be ready, though, cuz I don’t slouch around.”

“Oho, I’d bet not,” I said. “Just don’t be too harsh. She’s just a kid, remember.”

“Yeah, I gotcha. See ya round, Dave!”

“Later, Rainbow.”

Rainbow Dash flew off toward the schoolhouse, and I continued my course to…where was I going? Well, at this point, the closest thing was Sweet Apple Acres.

Hey now! There was an idea! Maybe Applejack would have some farm work that needed doing. I’d had experience hauling furniture from the few times my family and I moved, so perhaps I could put some of that to use there. With this resolve in mind, I directed my steps more resolutely toward Sweet Apple Acres.


***


When I arrived, I was surprised to find Applejack and Big Macintosh in what sounded like a heated argument.

“Yer what?” asked Applejack, sharply.

“Ah told ya, AJ, Ah’m goin’ bowlin’ tonight with the fellahs,” said Big Mac.

“And who in tarnation are ‘the fellahs’?”

“Y’know, Caramel, Meadow Song, Magnum.”

“Y’all never missed one day of work, and now suddenly ye’re playin’ hooky?”

“It ain’t hooky, AJ. The boys just wanna have a stallion’s night out. They said Ah need it, besides.”

“Well, Celestia knows you’ve hardly ever got time for yerself," conceded Applejack. "Still, Ah hate to think of getting the last of the bumper crop in without yer help.”

“Aw, now, AJ," said Big Mac, slyly. "Ah’m pretty sure you could do fine all by your-”

“Oh, no! You ain’t pullin’ the wool over mah eyes this time," said Applejack, sternly. "Ah was wrong to do it myself that one time, Ah admit it, but Ah ain’t plumb stupid enough to try it twice. Ah need ya this time!”

“Well, thank you. Was that so hard?”

“Oh, shut up, Big Mac.”

Big Mac chuckled and cuffed her on the shoulder, and AJ couldn’t help but reciprocate.

“Ah’ll put in as much as I can before Ah go," said Big Mac. "Besides, what are ya worried about? You’ve got Apple Fritter helping ya, right?”

“Yeah, but we’ve always relied on your muscle, Big Mac, meanin’ no disrespect to Fritter.”

“'Course not.”

I cleared my throat, startling the two and causing them to whip their heads around to look at me. Surprise gave way to pleasantness.

“Dave! How are ya?” said Applejack.

“Hey, Applejack, Big Macintosh. Sorry to interrupt.”

“Aw, no worries, sugarcube," said Applejack, sweetly. "What’s on your mind?”

“I was just wondering if you had something I could help you with on the farm," I said. "I’m hoping to get a few bits from some odd jobs, but I'm still willing to go pro bono, too.”

“Well, Ah’ll be a pig in a truffle patch!" said Applejack, eagerly. "Y’all couldn’t have picked a better time to come! Big Mac and his ‘fellahs’-” 

Big Mac rolled his eyes and said nothing. 

“-wanna go bowlin’ tonight, but we need to finish harvestin’ this bumper crop of apples.” 

She pointed out toward the miles of laden apple trees. 

“If you can help us with that, Ah’m sure Ah could set ya up with a nice reward.”

“Great! What do you want me to do?”

“Well, Big Mac and Ah’ll be workin’ on this patch here-” 

She gestured to the cluster of trees in their vicinity. 

“-so why don’t you help our cousin Apple Fritter over yonder?” 

She pointed to a patch of trees eastward, easily discernible, for they were the only cluster in that area still bearing apples.

“Can do!” I said, with a salute.

“Swell! You’ll know her when ya see her. Good luck!”

Wasting no time, I headed off in the direction Applejack had pointed out, and soon enough, arrived to find a pony giving a nearby tree a vigorous kick, sending several apples plummeting into buckets placed around the trunk. She was a mare around Applejack’s age, with a pale yellow coat, green eyes, a green mane done up in pigtails, and a tail the same color, both decorated with pink bows. Her flank depicted an image of three rectangular things that reminded me of a McDonalds apple pie. I suppose those were apple fritters.

As I approached, she looked up and smiled sweetly.

“Howdy, pard! Who are you?”

“Hello. It’s Apple Fritter, right?”

“Mm-hmm!”

“I’m Dave. I’m friends with your cousin Applejack.”

“Well, put ‘er there! Any friend of Applejack’s is a friend of mine!”

She held out her hoof, but as soon as I took it, she gave my arm such a vigorous shake that it felt like my shoulder was dangerously close to dislocating. These Apple family ponies seemed to have some hereditary Herculean muscle.

“So, what can I do for ya?” she asked.

“Well, Applejack sent me out here to give you a hand. Er, or is it hoof?”

“Well, that’s just swell! Ah could use some help. Ya’ll ever bucked before?”

“Er. can’t say I have.”

“Aw, don’t sweat it. It’ll come natural to ya, Ah’m sure. Just pick a tree and get kickin’.”

Well, what could I do but what she told me? That's how they did things around here. Besides, maybe Equestrian trees were easily kick-able. I crossed over to a tree with several ripe, juicy apples dangling from its branches, pulled my leg back, and gave the trunk a swift kick.

…

It took only a moment, but the pain struck my foot like an express train at rush hour.

“YEEEOW!!!”

Holding my injured foot in my hands, I hopped about on my free foot, uttering exclamations of pain and suppressed minced oaths as I did so.

“Ohh, boy. You ok, pard?” asked Apple Fritter, concerned.

“Not…quite…peachy keen…” I said, through clenched teeth.

“Sorry. Guess I shoulda reckoned you weren’t used to buckin’. You got some regular stilt legs there, but they ain’t got much muscle in them. No offense.”

“None taken. I wasn’t raised to be an athlete,” I muttered, gingerly putting my smarting foot down.

“Well, if you can’t buck, maybe you can haul.”

“Haul?” I asked.

“Yeah! You can take these here full buckets and put them in that cart.” 

She pointed to a wooden cart with two large wheels and two long shafts in front for a horse to be hitched to. 

“Then we’ll wheel them over to the barn.”

“That sounds like something I can do,” I said. “Yeah, I’ll give that a shot.”

“Super!”

Apple Fritter went back to kicking trees, and I began picking up the full apple buckets, which were considerably heavier than I imagined. I guess I’d never really taken stock of how heavy a whole bushel of fruit could be. Be that as it may, I hauled the buckets, one by one, to the apple cart sitting nearby, and dumped them in until the cart was full.

“So, we just need to do this until this whole part of the orchard’s apple-free?” I asked, when Apple Fritter strode over.

“Yep! Now let’s get this load up to the barn.”	

“Right.” 

I put myself in between the shafts, gripped them, and gave a good heave…which sent me tumbling face first into the ground. I heard Apple Fritter giggle as I spat a patch of grass out my mouth. 

“This is gonna be a long day,” I muttered.
> Dinky Hooves, Cutie Mark Crusader
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Ha! No kidding?”

“No kiddin’! Clean out of the ground, roots and all!”

“Sheesh, I figured Big Mac was strong, but that’s just ridiculous!”

“Ah know! He was pretty embarrassed about it for a while, and Applejack sure wasn’t happy.”

“I can imagine.”

After my initial muck-up in pulling the cart, I managed to get it going, though at a rather slow pace. Apple Fritter didn’t mind, as she trotted beside me and wiled away the time with little stories about the Apple family. As it turned out, they were spread out all over Equestria, in places like Manehattan, Fillydelphia, and the southern settlement of Appleloosa. Only a couple of Applejack’s cousins lived in Ponyville, and Apple Fritter was one of them. 

From her talk and her behavior, I had the impression that Fritter was a very eager, good-hearted mare, always ready to lend a helping hoof, and quick to joviality. She had me laughing at some of the quips and jokes she knew, and I shared a few of my own, which made her burst into such hearty laughter that it was some time before she could collect herself.

At any rate, we spent maybe 3 to 4 hours hauling the cart back and forth from the patch of trees to the barn, with a break for lunch in between, consisting of fresh-baked apple wares from Granny Smith’s kitchen. Talking with Fritter kept me from complaining or asking how much longer it would take, and lo and behold, before I knew it, I was unloading the last load of apples from our chosen patch of trees, and it was just getting on 3. My arms, legs, and back were killing me, and I was damp with sweat, but it was done.

“Hoo-whee!” whooped Apple Fritter. “How’d that do for ya, pard?”

“I’m pretty exhausted, Apple Fritter,” I said, “but I was glad to help, and it was good having you to talk to.”

“Aww, well, thanks,” said Apple Fritter, giving me a nudge. “Ye’re sweet to say so.”

“Fine work, you two!” said Applejack, coming in. “That’s the last of the bumper crop. Thanks for pitchin’ in, Dave.”

“Glad to be of service, AJ,” I said.

“Now, I ain’t forgotten yer reward fer helping,” she went on, and at the same time, hauled a small but bulgy bag out from seemingly nowhere, “so how does 50 bits sound? Pretty reasonable for a couple hours, wouldn’t ya say?”

“Very reasonable,” I said, eagerly. However, on reflection, I asked, “But, are you sure you don’t need it more? I’d hate to deprive you of a chunk of what you need to get by.”

“Oh, blame it all, you are just too sweet fer your own good,” said Applejack, with a little shake of the head and a smile, as she put the bag into my hands. “Don’t worry about it, hon. This is around the time when we make our big bits, cider season and all. Which reminds me, you’ll wanna be early if you want to catch a mug.”

“Does it go that fast?” I asked.

“It does when Pinkie Pie’s at the head of the line, but we always try to increase productivity each year. The Apple family recipe takes time and integrity.”

“Ah, of course," I said. "That makes sense. Well, when does it start? Pinkie’s set up a vigil at her mailbox, waiting for a letter.”

“She has?” 

Applejack gave a small ‘Tsk’ noise. 

“Ah swear, that girl…Well, it officially starts next week Monday, just after the Running of the Leaves.”

“Well, with luck, she’ll get a reply by then," I said. "What is the Running of the Leaves, anyway?”

“That’s when everypony races through the woods to make the autumn leaves fall,” said Apple Fritter.

(The leaves don’t even fall by themselves? Now this is just getting ridiculous.)

“Sounds…interesting,” I finally said. “I’ll definitely see what I can do about cider season.”

Applejack beamed, just as Big Mac approached.

“Ah, Dave,” he said, “Ah’d hoped you hadn’t left yet.”

“What’s up, Big Mac?”

“Ah’d been thinkin’, and wanted to know if you’d like to join me and the fellas at the bowlin’ alley tonight.”

“Really?" I asked, in surprise. "You want me to come?”

“Eeyup, if you’ve got nothin’ else to do, Ah mean.”

I was about to answer, when I reflected on Pinkie. I couldn’t continue to leave her there all by herself, sitting by the mailbox. Then again, she had assured me that she’d be all right, and that I didn’t need to fret about her. She wanted me to have fun, so who was I to argue with her? Besides, I hadn’t had any real ‘guy fun’ ever since I landed, though this was by no means a disparagement against Pinkie’s friends.

“I’d love to!" I said. "Just tell me when and I’ll be there.”

“Great! We’re planning to meet up for 6:30 at Mr. Kingpin’s alley.”

“6:30, got it. I’ll see if I can make it, but if I’m late or don’t show up, you don’t have to wait around.”

“Sounds good,” he said, with a smile.

“I should probably be on my way, then," I said. "Thanks again for letting me help, AJ.”

“And thank you, Dave. If’n yer ever lookin’ for an odd job, we’ll find somethin’ for ya.” 

She gave me a friendly wink.

“Glad to hear. And Apple Fritter, it was great meeting you.”

“Same to you, Dave! Y’all take care!” 

She gave me a hearty slap on the back, which was still kinda sore from hauling the cart, but I turned my pained grimace into a smile as I took my leave of the Apple siblings and their cousin. They were all so nice, so obliging, and from what Apple Fritter told me, very close-knit. That was relieving to hear for such an apparently enormous, far-spread family.

I had barely left them, however, before I felt something small impact my leg. Looking down, I beheld Apple Bloom, who was hugging it and beaming up at me.

“Hi, Dave!” she said.

“Hey, Apple Bloom!” I said, bending down and ruffling her mane. “Good day at school?”

“Yup! Ah’m glad you’re here, cuz we’ve gotta get going!”

“Going? Going where?”

“The Cutie Mark Crusaders clubhouse!" said Apple Bloom, releasing my leg and hopping up and down in excitement. "It’s Dinky’s initiation!”

“Today?" I asked, surprised. "Really? That was fast! Does she know?”

“Nope! Scootaloo’s bringing her, and she’s keeping it a surprise. Sweetie Belle went with her, but they won't be long, so we’d better get going.”

“Lead the way, my friend.”

Apple Bloom took off, scampering on ahead, while I made sure not to overtake her in my strides.


***


Her path took us into another part of the farm, one surrounded by many trees and bushes, so that it almost felt jungle-like. At last, we pushed our way into a clearing where, nestled on an enormous tree, stood a sizeable tree house, surrounded by a walkway and possessing a ramp by way of ascension. All things considered, it was well-put-together, and downright cozy-looking.

“Wow, this actually looks pretty nice,” I said.

“Thanks!" said Apple Bloom. "It used to be Applejack’s, but Ah fixed it up when she lent it to us!”

"Yeah, Scootaloo did mention something like that, but I never expected something like this. You really are a marvel, Apple Bloom."

Apple Bloom smiled broadly. 

“Thanks, Dave. Well, the others are gonna be along any minute, and we wanna be ready to start right away, so come on up!”

“Lead the way.”

I followed Apple Bloom up the ramp, which creaked beneath my steps, but remained intact. Thankfully, the door was large enough to permit me if I stooped down, which I did, though my shoulders just brushed the door frame. The ceiling was higher than the door, and I was able to stand full up and take a look around. I could see a table and chairs, the former set with a flowered vase; a painted bull’s-eye directly beneath a hanging light bulb, which hung from an aperture in the ceiling; a crayon-drawn map of Ponyville, a chart covered with an assortment of pictures, some of which were X-ed out, and a list with checkboxes and drawn heads beside them. Apple Bloom pointed out what each of these were as I looked about.

“That’s our lunch table, where we eat and plan out some of our Crusading. Sometimes we stand in that spot and think of great ideas. There's our chart of Crusadin' ideas, with everythin' we've already tried crossed off. That’s our map of Ponyville, and there’s our roll call list. Look, see, we added you!”

She crossed over to this list and pointed eagerly, so I walked over and crouched to look. I saw drawn heads of Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo…and me. Yes, they actually drew my head there: big glasses, messy black hair, and all. I chuckled, as it was just so adorable to imagine them being proud of including me on there.

“Do you like it?” Apple Bloom asked.

“Like it? I love it. It really makes me feel like part of the gang.”

“That’s cuz y’are, silly! Crusaders together, Crusaders forever!”

“Forever…”

Something in that word really struck something in my heart. I didn’t exactly have ‘forever’, depending on how long I was destined to remain here. Still...

“What’s the matter, Dave?”

Apple Bloom was looking curiously up at me. I didn't want to saddle her with what I was thinking.

“Nothing, Apple Bloom. I'm glad to be part of the team, that's all.”

I reached down and tousled her mane, making her giggle. She was such a sweet kid. In fact, she reminded me of one of my younger cousins back home, always able to bring a smile to my face.

Suddenly, my ears picked up a faint buzzing noise. Apple Bloom apparently heard it, too.

"That's Scootaloo on her scooter!" she said, eagerly. "They’re here!” 

She bounded over to a small chest sitting in a corner of the room, flipped it open, and drew out a piece of red cloth just like my Crusaders neckerchief, only it must obviously be a cape for a pony of her size.

“Er, is there anything I need to do for the ceremony?” I asked.

“‘Course! You get to lead Dinky in our new Crusaders oath!”

“New Crusaders oath?”

“Scootaloo wrote it herself. She didn't have it with her when we swore you in. so we kinda did a different one on the fly. Here ya go!”

She reached into the chest and tossed me a rather thick scroll, making me wonder how Scootaloo managed to write all of it.

We heard the tramp of hooves on the walkway, and in through the door, clad in their Crusader capes, were Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo.

“Hi, Dave!” squeaked Sweetie Belle.

“Hey, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo.”

“I heard about what happened on the playground. You really clammed Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon up!”

“Did you really think I was gonna watch them push anypony, especially any of you, around?" I asked. grinning. "Not a chance.”

“Well, they didn’t bother us for the rest of the day, all thanks to you,” said Scootaloo.

“Great to hear. Now, where’s the filly of the hour?”

“Right outside. Apple Bloom’s gonna call her in when it’s time.”

“To your positions, ponies!” said Sweetie Belle.

With astonishing rapidity, the two zipped past me, and I heard a loud clattering from behind. By the time I turned around, I was surprised to see that they had placed a lectern in front of the map, and Scootaloo had somehow produced a pair of tribal drums.

“How did you-”

But they never explained. Apple Bloom just ran past me and went to the door.

“All right, Dinky, you can come up now!”

The next thing I knew, Sweetie Belle was bulldozing me from behind my legs, trying to urge me toward the lectern. I took the hint and took my place beside it as she went up behind it. 

In the next moment, Apple Bloom joined us, having led a rather nervous-looking Dinky to the front of the lectern. In an instant, everything became solemn, as Scootaloo played a slow, 4-note beat on those tribal drums, which escalated into a wild, vibration-inducing tribal beat, the little pegasus drumming away with an adorably silly grin on her face, though nopony else looked amused by the change in music. 

At last she ceased, the solemnity returning to the ceremony, only for her to drop one last beat on one of the drums. Apple Bloom cast her a sidelong look as Sweetie Belle addressed Dinky.

“State your name, newcomer.”

“D-Dinky Hooves.”

“And is it your desire to be a Cutie Mark Crusader.”

“Y-Yes.”

“Brother Dave, you may proceed.”

“Me? Oh, well, thank you, Sister Sweetie Belle.”

Sweetie Belle moved from her spot and allowed me to step into it. It wasn’t on the scroll I was given, but I decided to say something that this whole scenario sparked remembrance of. So I said, in an imposing voice,

“Dinky Hooves, newcomer of purple and blonde, you have been called forth to the Cutie Mark Crusaders Clubhouse to join with us in the fraternal bonds of Crusaderdom…”

This was met with an awestruck look from Dinky and a round of giggling from the others.

“That was really good!” whispered Sweetie Belle to me.

“Heh, thanks," I said. "Just thought I’d improvise for an introduction.”

I then unrolled the scroll and began reading for it.

“Before we can properly induct you, Dinky Hooves, you must follow these steps to prove your worth: raise one hoof and salute with the other.”

Dinky raised a hoof and slapped the other across her brow.

“Stand on one hind leg and touch the bottom of the other with your tail.”

Dinky raised herself on one hind leg and touched the tip of her fluffy tail to the other hoof, her face scrunching slightly, as she probably tickled herself. For my part, I was finding these directions very bizarre.

“Now, uh, rub your tummy with one hoof and pat your head with the other.”

Not missing a beat, Dinky drew circles on her little tummy with one hoof as she patted her head with the other.

“Now, hop on one hoof, cross your eyes, and stick out your tongue.”

Dinky, still rubbing and patting, began bouncing on the hoof she was standing on, crossed her eyes in a way very similar to her mother, and poked her tongue out the side of her mouth.

“And now, cease and be seated.”

Dinky dropped all that she was doing and plunked herself down on her hindquarters. Still thoroughly perplexed at what I’d just read off, I was aware that Scootaloo was fighting hard to keep from bursting out laughing. Apple Bloom said she had written it, after all.

I cleared my throat and read on,

“Congratulations. This series of actions was made to ensure you were ready and willing to do anything, no matter how silly, to earn your cutie mark.”

Huh. Clever. Good thing I didn’t have to go through all this when I was made a member.

“And now, Dinky Hooves, perform the salute once more, and I shall recite the Crusaders oath.”

Dinky raised one hoof and saluted with the other as I read,

“Dinky Hooves,

Do you swear to fight the fight,

In Celestia’s day or Luna’s night

To always be faithful, loyal, and true

To strive until your face is blue

To quest to find out who you are

Until you earn your cutie mark?

Do you, Dinky Hooves, swear to all of this?”

“Yes, I do!” chirped Dinky.

“Then, by the power vested in me, it is my warm pleasure to name you, Dinky Hooves, an official fellow Cutie Mark Crusader!”

As soon as I concluded, Sweetie Belle popped up by my side and tossed what looked like another Crusaders cape, which landed neatly across Dinky’s back. Eyes shining and glistening with happy tears, she picked up two corners and tied them in a knot around her neck, forming the cape. The four of us approached to ring around her.

“Congratulations, Dinky!” said Apple Bloom.

“Welcome aboard!” said Sweetie Belle.

“I’m proud of ya, sis,” said Scootaloo.

This last one seemed to affect Dinky the most, and she practically pounced on Scootaloo, hugging her so tight that I could almost swear she took lessons from Pinkie. Although her face registered discomfort from pressure, Scootaloo returned the hug for her sister.

“This calls for a celebration!” announced Sweetie Belle. “Who’s up for milkshakes?”

A chorus of cheers rang up from the little fillies as they stampeded out of the clubhouse. I lingered behind, remarking to myself how heartwarming the whole process had been. Scootaloo had gained a mother, two sisters, and now a fellow Cutie Mark Crusader, and now little Dinky was among their clique. I didn’t want to make myself big-headed by thinking so, but somehow, I couldn’t help but feel responsible for helping bring it all together.

“Coming, Dave?” called Scootaloo, interrupting my thoughts.

“Uh? Oh! Right! Coming!” 

And I hurried off after the newly-expanded Crusaders, feeling thirsty already.


***


When Sweetie Belle had said milkshakes, I had no idea that Sugarcube Corner sold them, so I was surprised to find our path leading in that direction. The four Crusaders came to a halt, however, upon an unusual sight.

Pinkie was standing on all fours in front of the mailbox. Well, I should say all threes, because she was constantly opening and closing the flap with one hoof, peeping excitedly in, only for her face to sink in disappointment once again, the cycle repeating over and over.

The four of them traded bemused looks, while I just sighed in exasperation.

“What’s she doin’?” asked Apple Bloom.

“Waiting for a letter,” I answered, “or, to be more accurate, the reply for one she sent out just this morning.”

“How long’s she been there?” asked Scootaloo.

“Almost as soon as she sent it. She’s worked out a whole worst case scenario if she should stop watching it for even a second.”

“Typical Pinkie,” said Sweetie Belle, with a shake of the head.

“I agree.”

I approached her and tapped her on the shoulder. She started and whipped around, her surprise melting away into pleasure at seeing me.

“Hi, Davie! How are you?”

“Pretty good. How are you holding out?”

“All right. I’ll sit by this mailbox all night, if I have to!”

“Pinkie, are you sure I can’t make you reconsider?” I asked, reasonably.

“Uh-uh!" said Pinkie, shaking her head. "This is way too super-duper-mega-hyper-important for me to make any mistakes on! I’m staying right here.”

As if to emphasize, she plunked her hindquarters firmly down on the curb, in a show of defiant determination.

“What about Mr. and Mrs. Cake?" I asked. "Won’t they need you?”

“They didn’t come out to ask me all day,” said Pinkie. “They’re doing fine.”

“Suit yourself,” I said, with a shrug. “Come on, girls.”

The five of us walked into Sugarcube Corner, Pinkie having gone back to opening and closing the mailbox flap. We entered to find the couple standing at the counter, Mrs. Cake wiping it down with a cloth rag.

“Ah! Hello, Dave!” said Mr. Cake. “Having a good day?”

“'Busy' is the more appropriate word, Mr. Cake,” I said, “but yes. We’d like 5 milkshakes, please. Er, no, make it 6. We'll send one out to Pinkie.”

“Certainly! The Mrs. and I know what Pinkie likes, so what flavors for the five of you?”

“Girls?” I asked, turning to them.

“Chocolate!” said Scootaloo.

“Strawberry!” said Apple Bloom.

“Vanilla!” said Sweetie Belle and Dinky together.

“And I’ll have a chocolate as well,” I said.

“All righty, then! That’ll be 12 bits, and I’ll have them coming right up.”

I laid the money out on the table, and Mr. Cake went to fetch the shakes.

“Has it been super-busy without Pinkie to help?” I asked Mrs. Cake.

“Oh, it’s nothing we couldn’t handle,” she said. “Some days, we do need a little extra help around the place, but most days, Carrot and I have got things under control. What is Pinkie up to, though? She never said anything.”

“She’s waiting for a letter from her family,” I told her, “that was only sent out today. Pinkie apparently has no concept of patience.”

“Her family?” asked Mrs. Cake, in some surprise.

“Yeah. She felt guilty that she hadn’t kept contact with them in years, and decided now was as good a time as any to make amends.”

“Well, that’s relieving to hear. All the time she’s lived and worked with us, Pinkie’s never given us much detail about her family.”

“She hasn’t? Not even to you?” I asked, in some astonishment.

“No. All she’s ever told us is that she came from a rock farm, and left it at that. To be fair, we weren’t really sure what to say to the thought of a rock farm.”

“I was a little speechless myself, when she told me,” I admitted.

“Well, I hope this all turns out all right,” said Mrs. Cake.

"You and me both," I said. "I can't see them outright rejecting her. She's been through so much since leaving home, maybe even more, if I haven't heard everything. Can anyone blame her for losing contact?"

“I certainly can’t," said Mrs. Cake. "Carrot and I have always considered Pinkie one of the family, and the thought of her being hurt by something like this…Well, it breaks my heart.”

I nodded soberly, and at that moment, Mr. Cake arrived with a tray containing the milkshakes. The Crusaders grabbed theirs, shouting “Thank you”s to Mr. Cake as they sat down to drink. He went outside to deliver Pinkie's, then came back in as I grabbed mine. Then, as if he had just remembered something, he said, as he returned behind the counter,

“Oh! Dave, I almost forgot. We had a customer who asked about you today.”

“Really? Do you know who it was?” I asked.

“No. They kept themselves wrapped up in an old cloak. They came in and ordered quite a number of things: a whole pie, half a dozen cupcakes, half a dozen muffins, and they paid for it all like money wasn’t even an object. We don’t often get such customers these days, let me tell you.”

“Wow.”

“But after they packed up and were about to leave, they said, ‘Give my regards to the human you’re housing, the one who’s friends with the pink one outside’, and then walked out.”

“And that was it?” I asked, puzzled.

“That was it.”

“And you're sure it was nopony you knew?”

“If they hadn't kept their face hidden, I might know them, but maybe not. I’d never even heard the voice before, at any rate. They sounded like they needed a lozenge.”

“Hmm…”

I meditated on what Mr. Cake had told me as I sat down with the Crusaders with my own milkshake. Someone had come to the bakery, cloaked and possibly using a disguised voice, had purchased a large amount of baked goods, sparing no expense, and had asked the Cakes to ‘give their regards’ to me. Whoever it was also knew that I was staying there, and that I was friends with Pinkie, or the ‘pink one’, as they called her. But who could I have known or become acquainted with that could have left such a message?

And then it clicked in my head.

Trixie!

It made sense; she wished to keep her identity hidden, as she’d already been met with some scorn in her last public appearance, had no doubt become fixated on the muffins I’d given her (even though they were from Derpy and not the bakery), and also had referred to Pinkie in similar terms.

But then, where could she have gotten the money to pay for all of that stuff? If she had been struck with misfortune after the Ursa Minor incident, what had happened to her afterwards to have made her financially secure, yet unhappily secluded? Perhaps another visit to her caravan was in order, after bowling.

“Dave?”

I felt a nudge at my arm. I looked down to see Apple Bloom looking up at me.

“You all right? You kinda zoned out.”

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I said. “Just thinking about something.”

With a shrug, she went back to her shake. I had to stop with this zoning out when something was on my mind. Sooner or later, I’d be decried as some kind of spacey weirdo, if I wasn’t saddled with that opinion already.
> A Night On the Lanes
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Ponyville bowling alley, also known as “Kingpin’s Alley”, for Mr. Kingpin was the proprietor, looked very much like any other bowling alley I’d ever been to. It had the same polished lanes, the same 10 pins, the same balls, the same concession area, but how on Earth did ponies bowl?

This question was foremost on my mind as I entered, and my ears were immediately met with the familiar “thud, roll, and crash” of a real bowling alley. The lanes were quite occupied tonight, and there was a general din of voices. Many of the ponies there were wearing bowling jerseys, and I could even see a little colt with a bowling cutie mark. How skilled would he have had to be to have a talent in bowling at such a young age?

Over in one lane, I heard a tremendous crash of pins, and a loud, deep “YEAAAAAAH!!!” that nearly made me jump out of my skin. The owner of the exclamation was a stallion of frighteningly huge, muscular proportions, complimented with red eyes and a blonde buzz-cut mane, his cutie mark a dumbbell. At first, I thought he was an Earth pony, but could barely pick out the tiny pair of wings on his back, so tiny that they looked like they belonged on Pound Cake more than this over-bulked giant.

(Just keep walking, Dave. Don’t make eye contact…)

Then, thankfully, I caught sight of Big Mac. Small wonder, for how easily he stood out.

He was standing at a lane with three other stallions. One was a yellowish Earth pony with a brown, neatly combed mane and three horseshoes for a cutie mark. Another was white with a brown mustache, his cutie mark consisting of three footballs. The last was a brown Earth pony with a blonde mane and a guitar for a cutie mark.

“So, how are things with you and Sassaflash, Caramel?” asked the mustached stallion, speaking with a strong Midwestern accent.

“Getting pretty serious,” said the yellowish Earth pony. “In fact, I think I’m gonna pop the question pretty soon.”

“Atta boy!” said the other stallion, cuffing Caramel on the shoulder. “Go get ‘er, tiger!”

“Sassa’s a fine gal,” said Big Mac. “She’d make you a happy stallion, Caramel.”

Just then, the blonde stallion nudged Big Mac’s side and pointed in my direction. Every head turned towards me.

“Dave!” boomed Big Mac, “Glad you could come! Fellahs, this here’s Dave, that human I was tellin’ ya’ll about. He’s stayin’ with Pinkie at Sugarcube Corner.”

“Hello, folks,” I said, coming over.

“Dave, this here’s Caramel, Meadow Song, and Hondo Flanks, all friends of the family.”

“Hi there!” said Caramel.

“How ya doin’!” said Hondo Flanks, the mustached stallion. "Friends call me 'Magnum'."

Meadow Song politely nodded without saying a word.

“He’s a little shy,” explained Big Mac.

My attention, however, was on Magnum. There was something familiar about his face, but where had I seen it before?

…

Wait a minute.

That photo in Rarity’s boutique!

That stallion in it was this guy! Rarity’s father! There was no mistaking that mustache.

“Begging your pardon, sir,” I said to him, “but would you happen to know a Miss Rarity?”

“Aha!” said Magnum, “You’re friends with my little girl?”

“Yes, sir. She’s been very courteous towards me ever since I arrived.”

“Well, a friend of my daughter’s welcome in my book! Put ‘er there, son!”

He extended his hoof, and I gripped it, whereupon he gave my hand a very hearty shake.

“The missus and I just came back from out of town,” he said. “We wanted to check up on Sweetie Belle before a night on the lanes.”

“She didn’t wanna come along?” I asked.

“Nah, she said she already tried for a bowling cutie mark.” He chuckled. “I take it you know Sweetie Belle too?”

“Yes, sir. She and her friends even inducted me into the Cutie Mark Crusaders.”

I took out my Crusader's bandana to show him. Magnum laughed out loud. 

“That so? Just watch yourself, then. Those kids get up to some pretty nutty stuff, I hear.”

“I’m sure I’ll see for myself when I actually partake in some Crusading,” I said, grinning. “But, in all seriousness, sir, you have wonderful daughters.”

“Well, thanks for saying so, sport,” said Magnum, slapping me on the back. “You seem like a real stand-up guy yourself.”

“Say, Dave,” said Big Mac, “why don’t you go grab yourself a ball? We’re waiting on another team to arrive. Magnum here sent his wife to round ‘em up.”

“All right.”

I went and browsed the racks for a good-sized ball, but as I did so, I thought there was something peculiar about them. I couldn’t quite place what it was.

And then it hit me.

None of the balls had finger holes!

Of course, I really shouldn’t have been too surprised. What use were finger holes to a society that only had hooves? Come to think of it, there wasn’t even a place for renting bowling shoes. Again, though, unnecessary. But that just begged the same question that was on my mind when I came in: how did ponies bowl?

I picked out a nice 12-pounder, having to carry it in both hands as I returned to the guys. At least they had a conventional ball return receptacle, but unlike the alleys back home, this place relied on the conventional scorecard system rather than a computerized scorekeeper.

"Got yer ball?" Big Mac asked.

"Yep. Right here," I said, holding it out for show.

Then, without warning, it slipped right through my fingers and landed right on my foot.

"YEOW!!"

The stallions winced from the impact, and I bounced about, clutching my foot in my hand. Thank God it hadn't been the same one I kicked that tree with, or I might have busted it beyond repair.

"You all right?" asked Caramel.

"I will be," I groaned, through gritted teeth. "Just gimme a sec."

Gingerly, I put my foot back on the ground, then bent down and picked up the ball again, trying to balance it between my two palms.

"Just gotta get used to this grip."

Any more accidents like that, and I'd need a wheelchair.

“Yoo-hoo! We’re here!”

I turned to see five mares approaching. At the head was a unicorn who I knew must be Rarity’s mother, the same one from the portrait. Her cutie mark was a trio of cookies, one with a bite taken out of it. Behind her, to my surprise, came Cheerilee, Bon Bon, Lyra, and a pony I didn’t recognize, all wearing matching jerseys.

This last pony was an odd sight. She was pink in color, with a purple and white mane and tail that seemed even wilder than Pinkie’s, the mane topped with a little propeller beanie. Her eyes were large and purple, but looked glazed, and seemed to lack pupils. Her cutie mark was a baseball and a screw.

The three mares I recognized smiled brightly upon seeing me.

“Hi, Dave!” said Lyra, waving excitedly and bouncing on her hooves. “Fancy seeing you here!”

“Hi, Lyra! Hello, Bon Bon!” I greeted.

“Hello, Dave. Good to see you,” said Bon Bon, kindly.

“Cheerilee, I didn’t know you bowled,” I said to the schoolteacher.

“Not many ponies do," said Cheerilee, kindly, "but sometimes I like to unwind after a hard day’s work at the schoolhouse. Besides, Big Mac and I usually duke it out on the lanes together.”

Big Mac, who heard this, raised his head, and the two exchanged a sly wink.

“That so?” I asked, interested.

“Honey, this is Dave,” Magnum was saying to his wife, “He’s friends with Rarity and Sweetie Belle. Dave, this is my wife, Cookie Crumbles. Friends call her Pearl.”

“Well, how are ya!” said Pearl, clapping me on the back. “Has Rarity made a clothes model out of you yet?”

“Oh, no, ma’am,” I said, blushing, “I don’t think she intends to take me down that route.”

“I’m only teasing,” said Pearl, good-naturedly. “She’s a sweet girl, but sometimes I wish she could loosen up a little on the dressmaking. At least the poor dear has her spa days to help her relax.”

“She actually expressed interest in taking me there one of these days,” I said.

“Oh, you’ll love it! I went there myself, and it is gorgeous! Aloe and Lotus, the attendants, work wonders on a pony. Well, here’s hoping those wonders work on a human!”

She let out a hearty laugh, and I chuckled along with her. My attention was then turned to the mystery pony, who was looking at me intently. When she saw I was looking, she averted her eyes. Caramel had come by my side, so I asked him,

“What’s her story?”

“Hers? Well, it’s not a pretty one,” he said, grimly. “Have you ever heard of Discord?”

“Twilight told me about him, yeah."

“Well, after he started turning Ponyville upside down, when Twilight and the others sealed him away again, Screwball there was the only one who didn’t turn ‘back to normal’.”

“Screwball? That’s her name.”

“Yep.”

(I wouldn’t wish that name on my worst enemy.)

“Well, is she, you know, all right?” I asked, delicately.

“She’s a good pony," said Caramel. "She’s not much of a talker, though, and…well, let’s just say things never go, er, 'normal' with her.”

“How ‘not normal’ are we talking?” I asked, with some hesitation.

“Little things. Little odd things. Things you’d only expect out of Pinkie Pie.”

“Ohh," I said, catching on.

“Most ponies give her a wide berth if she starts acting…funny. Like I said, she’s not bad. Just a little…odd.”

To think that there existed another pony as random, maybe even more random, than Pinkie, was something I didn't think possible. Then again, she didn’t seem malignant. She actually looked a little wary, as if afraid she was going to say a naughty word or cause something to explode. I approached her.

“Hello there. I heard your name was Screwball.”

She said nothing.

“My name’s Dave.”

Again, nothing.

“It’s…nice to meet you.”

Still nothing. This wasn't working.

“…Ok. Well, hope you have fun.”

She gave a slight nod, and the merest of smiles. Well, that was a start, anyway. I rejoined the guys.

“So, Dave, you ready to rock some pins?” asked Lyra, in a pumped voice.

“I hope to, if I can figure out how these balls work.”

“How they work? You mean they work differently in your world? How? Tell me!”

She had reared up and put her hooves to my shoulders, pressing her nose against mine and grinning with wide-eyed madness.

“Lyra,” said Bon Bon, in a warning voice. “Down.”

Lyra, having heard the reprimand, gave an embarrassed chuckle and got off of me.

“It’s only that bowling balls for humans have holes for the fingers and thumb,” I explained, tracing with my finger where the holes would be.

“Ooh! That makes sense,” said Lyra.

“I’m actually curious to see how ponies manage bowling balls with hooves,” I said.

“There’s no real secret to it,” said Lyra, with a shrug. “We just do.”

‘We just do’. Guess that was as good an answer as I was gonna get.

Everypony else had brought their own bowling balls, even Screwball, and were putting them in their lanes’ ball returns. Screwball’s could never be mistaken as anyone else’s; it was painted like a giant baseball.

“You guys mind if I keep score, too?” I suggested, though I knew they must have had some ways of writing with a pencil.

“Well, shoot, Dave, that’s mighty neighborly of ya,” said Big Mac. “Go right ahead.”

“All right, just tell me what order you all wanna go in,” I said, picking up the pencil.

In due course, we had the whole team arranged on the scorecard. Everyone agreed to give Big Mac the first turn, followed by me, then Magnum, then Caramel, with Meadow Song finishing up. Meadow Song said nothing to this arrangement, so no surprise there.

“All right!” said Magnum. “Big Mac, you’re up first!”

“Knock ‘em dead, Cheerilee!” said Pearl.

The two ponies approached the lane, balanced on their hind legs. Big Mac held a massive red ball in his hooves, while Cheerilee’s was a deep purple. I kept my eyes on how they threw their balls, and was impressed to see it was all one easy, underhand motion of the fore hoof, almost as if there was a magnetic pull on those hooves of theirs.

The two tossed their balls at the same time, and the alley rang with the double crash of two strikes at once. For someone as docile as Cheerilee, she really knew how to throw! Everyone applauded, including me, and the two traded a high-five.

“You make it look so easy,” I said to Big Mac as he came back to our side, after I marked an X on his first frame.

“Big Mac makes everything look easy,” said Caramel.

No question about that. Apple Fritter had said he had kicked an entire tree out by the roots. He could probably de-apple one just by casually knocking his hoof against the trunk.

“All right, Dave, let’s see what you’ve got,” said Magnum.

Not really sure what to expect, I stepped up and picked up my ball, Lyra zipping over to take her turn. I looked from the pins to my ball, unsure of what to do. Lyra seemed to guess my hesitation, as she said,

“Watch what I do.”

She grabbed her ball, reared up, stuck her tongue out in concentration, stepped backward, and then dashed forward, shifting the ball from two hoofs to one as she gave it an underhand toss, when sent it rolling. It knocked down the four pins on the right of her lane.

“Shoot!” she muttered. “Always pulls to the right.” She turned to me. “Well, I’m sure you can do better. Give it a shot!”

This vote of confidence gave me a bit of a bolster, so I tried to mimic what Lyra had done. I stepped back, positioned myself as best I could, then ran forward, shifting the ball to one hand. I gave it a good toss…and it curved right into the gutter.

“Dang,” I muttered.

“Don’t worry ‘bout it, Dave,” called Big Mac. “You’ve still got another roll!”

My ball rolled back, and I retrieved it. Lyra threw her next shot, and managed to take down another three pins.

“Man, must be off my A-game today,” she muttered. “Oh well!” 

She trotted happily back to her team as I took my position, eyeing the pins steadily.

“Ok, Dave, you can do this. Focus…”

Slowly, I began stepping forward, picking up speed as I brought my arm back. Skidding to a halt, I rolled, and bore witness to 8 pins crashing upon impact of my ball.

“Whoa," I muttered, astonished. "Did I actually do that?” 

Apparently I had, as I heard applause from behind me.	

“There ya go!” whooped Big Mac.

“Not bad for a first frame!” said Magnum.

“Atta way!” said Caramel.

“See? Easy as cake!” said Lyra.

Well, if I kept that up, I might actually do pretty good! I sat down and marked an 8 on my frame, as Magnum and Pearl took their turns. Like Big Mac, Magnum also hit a strike, while Pearl just barely managed a 9. Then Caramel found himself the unlucky recipient of a 7/10 split while Bon Bon picked up a spare. Now it was Meadow Song and Screwball’s turns.

Meadow Song pulled off a spare, but my attention was more on Screwball. She tossed her ball, and it seemed to curve right for the gutter, but all of a sudden, it pulled a sharp turn into the opposite direction and pulled off a strike. My jaw dropped, but she didn’t seem surprised at all by this unusual occurrence.

“What the…that was…How did…That can’t be possible!” I spluttered.

“For her, it is,” said Caramel. “Not always a strike, but she never gets a gutter ball.”

“That’s…that’s unbelievable!”

“That is the power of Screwball.”

I looked at Screwball, who was being applauded by her fellow teammates. Going by what Caramel had told me, it was a relief to see that she was still being treated like a real pony among this circle of friends. Even the unusual deserve a little kindness and understanding, after all.


***


The game was toe-to-toe…er, would they still use that term here?…between our two teams. It was always Big Mac and Cheerilee who were the most neck-and-neck, never getting a shot lower than a spare, and one could definitely see the fire blazing in their eyes. Again, for a pony as gentle in appearance as Cheerilee, she had a fiery, competitive spirit. 

Screwball, of course, never ceased to wow us with her unconventional and unusual shots. Her ball would take the wildest swings away from the gutters, go in a straight beeline just to make a shift to the side at the last second, or even, once, pulling a series of pinball-esque diagonal shifts. If this was leftovers of the curse of Discord, I didn’t want to see what it would have looked like full force.

I was doing pretty decently myself, after that first frame. I mainly averaged a good 6 to 8 pins in a frame, so that the whole thing was neck and neck. We played two games, in the intermission of which Magnum and Big Mac went to grab some refreshments. While we waited, I managed to fall in talk with Cheerilee, as she sat opposite me.

“So, Cheerilee, I’m not making any broad assumptions, but is it enjoyable, being a schoolteacher?” I asked.

“Enjoyable? I love it, Dave! Ever since I was a filly, when I first decided on it, I’d hoped that I would help my little pupils blossom into bright young ponies.”

“Is that what your cutie mark means?” I asked, intrigued. “It makes so much sense now! I had no idea they could be so specific.”

“Oh, cutie marks come with a wide variety of interpretations. No two cutie marks are exactly the same."

“Fascinating. And how about the Crusaders? How would you rate them as students?”

“Very eager little fillies, and such sweet dears," said Cheerilee, fondly. "A little overly-rambunctious at times, but I’ve never seen fillies with as much spirit as them. Oh! And speaking of them,” she added, lowering her voice, “I heard about Scootaloo. Was that your doing?”

“Well, I helped move it along, if that’s what you mean," I said, bashfully.

“That was very noble of you, Dave," said Cheerilee, warmly, "finding her a family in the Hooves. Dinky’s such a sweetheart, but I’ve always seen her keep to herself most of the time. Now that she has Scootaloo for a sister, I think we’ll see some definite improvement.”

“Especially now that she was made a Crusader,” I said, in agreement.

Cheerilee looked surprised. 

“Dinky, a Crusader? When?”

“Just today. I was present at her initiation.”

“Oh, how adorable!" said Cheerilee, before her face fell. "Then again, I’m also a little afraid of what might happen to her during one of their little Crusading schemes.”

“Yeah, that’s true,” I concurred.

“In fact, I found myself the unlucky target of one of their projects,” she said, grimly.	

“What?" I asked, surprised. "You? They didn’t-”

“Oh, no, don’t worry!" said Cheerilee, hastily. "It was nothing dangerous, just, well, rather bizarre. You see, I told them last Hearts and Hooves Day that I didn’t have a very special somepony, so they took it into their heads to…” She blushed briefly. “Well, to find me a stallion for my own.”

“Aww, well that was very considerate of them,” I said.

“Yes, I agree, only, they’d decided that that stallion should be Big Mac.”

If I’d had a drink in my mouth, I would’ve spat it out right then and there.

“W-What?!” I spluttered. “You and Big Mac??”

“Pretty crazy, huh? Well, to be blunt, they weren’t very subtle about trying to hook us up, but then again, they’re only children, so I can’t really blame them for trying. Then they got rather sneaky, and actually persuaded the two of us into a taking a love potion.”

“Hoo boy,” I muttered. 

There’s a reason genies and fairy godparents ban wishes concerning true love, and a love potion was mingled in with that reason.

“Well, I don’t really remember what happened after I drank that potion," said Cheerilee, "but when I came to, I was wearing a wedding veil, and sitting with Big Mac on a mattress in a hole in the ground.”

She said this so matter-of-factly that I honestly could have mistaken it for a joke.

“No, no joke,” she said, noting my bemused expression. “They explained the whole situation, and even though we had to teach them a lesson by having them do Big Mac’s chores, I really did appreciate that they wanted to make me happy.”

“They’re good kids,” I said, nodding.

“And I suppose I do have them to thank for my bowling nights. Ever since they started shoving Big Mac and me together, we started having little get-togethers like this, just for fun.”

“Well, that’s good, but, uh, you two aren’t, uh…are you?” I asked, delicately.

“Are we what?” asked Cheerilee, puzzled.

“Well, you know, not-”

“Chow time!” boomed Magnum, he and Big Mac having returned with a big pizza, a bowl of nachos, and some sodas.

“Never mind,” I said, “it wasn’t important.”

Though still looking a little puzzled, Cheerilee let the matter drop with a shrug, and joined the others crowding around the newly-arrived refreshments.


***


The second game played out very much like the first, though by then, I’d managed to get a little better, so that Lyra and I were turning into a pair of rivals. She’d cast me what she must have thought were intimidating grimaces, but they only managed to come out goofy. Big Mac and Cheerilee still managed to lead the pack, though Magnum and Pearl were no slouches, either. Caramel, Meadow Song, and Bon Bon were on an average level, like me, as they weren’t as zealous about the game as the first four. Screwball, of course, still managed to play with the laws of physics with her throws, until I’m sure Newton had rolled in his grave so thoroughly that he brought himself a few inches lower into the dirt.

At last, my final frame came up. Having gotten used to this new, unwieldy way of handling the ball by now, I rolled without any prior hesitation.

One strike.

Two strikes!

Oh, man, if I got a third, I could give us an early sweep! I rolled…

A 7-10 split.

Groans sympathetic to my disappointment arose from my team, and all I could do was take my final roll and knock down one of the offending pins, leaving the other standing to mock me.

“Now that’s just rotten luck,” said Caramel.

“The bane of any bowler,” said Magnum.

“Ain’t a big deal, Dave,” said Big Mac. “You bowled a good game.”

“Thanks, Big Mac.”

I sat down and watched the rest of the players take their last frames. Now it was all down to Screwball. What would she pull off this time?

One strike.

Two strikes.

…A 7-10 split.

It was an almost-perfect playback of my own last frame. Screwball, however, didn’t seem deterred. She rolled the ball, and…and…

How do I even describe it?

Her ball pulled an elaborate serpentine maneuver all the way down the lane, curving this way and that, in such a way that, in one sweep, it knocked down both of the pins in the split!

Her entire team exploded into cheers, while us men just sat there, mouths agape like a pack of slack-jaws.

(Thank God you’re not alive to see this, Sir Isaac, or you would have been sooooo mad.)

“Looks like that wraps it up, boys!” said Pearl. “Good game!”

“You were great tonight, honey bun!” said Magnum.

“Oh, thanks, sweetheart,” said Pearl, exchanging a kiss with him.

“In your face, boys!” crowed Lyra, while Bon Bon rolled her eyes.

“You at least have fun, Dave?” asked Big Mac.

“Oh, definitely!" I said, eagerly. "We’ve gotta do this again sometime.”

“Good, good. Ah’ll be sure to let ya know when we’re plannin’ another.”

“You’re not too bad for a first-timer,” said Caramel. 

Meadow Song politely nodded.

“Thanks, guys," I said. "Well, I’d love to stick around, but I’ve got one more stop to make before I call it a day, so I’ll be heading off. Good night!”

Amid a chorus of ‘good night’s and goodbyes, I made my way off toward the exit, but was stopped by a tug at the back of my shirt. Looking down, I saw my interrupter to be Screwball, who still looked shy.

“Hi there,” I said. “You were amazing tonight. I’d never seen anything like that!”

She remained silent. Throwing caution to the wind, I knelt down beside her.

“Hey, listen. I know, or at least heard, some ponies think you’re a little…odd, because of that whole Discord thing, and I don’t really claim to know everything about what happened, but I don’t think that matters. You seem like a nice pony, and I just want you to know that you’ve got a friend in me.”

I held out my hand. She looked from it to me with those glazed eyes, and then put her hoof into it, and said, in a quiet voice,

“Thank you.”

They were the first words that had come out of her mouth all night. I smiled. 

“Well, good night, Screwball.”

She nodded quietly, and I again made my way toward the exit, just to feel somepony squeeze their way under my arm, so that it was draped over their back. It was Lyra, who grinned when I looked at her.

“Hey, you,” I said, with a grin of my own.

“Hey!” she said. “Mind if I walk you home?”

“Well, that’s very sweet of you, Miss Heartstrings, but I have somewhere I need to go before I call it a day. But, if you’d like, I can walk you home.”

“Why, how gentlemanly of you!” said Lyra, in a jestingly polite tone of voice that would have done Rarity justice. 

Bon Bon wasn’t long in coming up by my other side.

“Relax,” I said, noticing a tirade imminent on the lips of the candy-maker, “I’m just escorting you ladies home tonight.”

“Well, that’s very sweet of you,” said Bon Bon, “but ‘ladies’? I don’t see anypony else but Lyra.”

“Oh, shut up, Bonnie,” snarked Lyra, and Bon Bon giggled.


***


As it turned out, Lyra and Bon Bon lived very close to the latter’s sweet shop, and that was not a very great distance from the bowling alley. It was now half-past 8, and the moon had long been up in the sky at that point. Some ponies were still milling about, but many seemed to be heading homewards, like my two companions.

We stopped right at the door, and Lyra used her unicorn’s magic to lift up the door mat and fish up the key hidden beneath it. As she unlocked the door, Bon Bon said,

“Thank you very much for walking us home, Dave. Are you sure you won’t stay for a bit?”

“I’d love to, Bon Bon, but I’d already made arrangements. I’ll definitely swing by one of these days, though.”

“That’d be lovely.”

“Got it!” Lyra swung the front door open. “Well, g’night, Dave, and thanks!”

“Good night, Lyra. Good night, Bon Bon.”

“Good night, Dave.”

The door closed behind the two housemates, and, with a purposeful step, I was finally on my way to my real destination. I had a date with a certain great and powerful pony.

Er, wait, did I say…No, I didn’t mean it like…Oh, forget it.
> The Complicated History of a Showpony
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Despite the wood being peaceable, I couldn’t suppress a moment’s hesitation at wandering into it at night. An owl hooted, and the night wind made the leaves rustle. The energy and adrenaline that bowling had instilled in me was quickly evaporating.

As I continued on, even my resolution from before was beginning to waver. Why was I doing this, really? What hope did I have of getting a better reception from Trixie this time around? Maybe because of her conduct at Sugarcube Corner, if it even was her. No, what did I mean ‘if it even was her’? It had to be her. It fit too well to be anypony else. Anyway, the fact that she actually came to Sugarcube Corner and asked Mr. Cake to give her regards to me must mean something, right?

At all events, I found myself for the third time in Trixie’s secret glade, and was about to knock on the door of her carriage when I heard her speaking from within. The window was open, so I slipped over to the side of it and listened closely.

“Ah! Here it is. ‘The Alicorn Amulet: crafted by unicorn sorcerers long ago to contain the essence of their greatest king…Grants untold and unlimited magical power’. Ooh, I like the sound of that! ‘Corrupts the user’, blah-blah-blah, ‘magical lock’...Ugh, all these superstitious warnings. I never did care for those. Some ponies are just too scared to realize true power But this is just what I need. If I can get my hooves on this, wherever it is, oho, how I’ll make Twilight Sparkle pay. Then we’ll see who the best unicorn in all of Equestria is!”

I couldn’t believe what I was hearing! Trixie was descending into the depths of cartoonish villainy, and the most clichéd kind at that! Even Dr. Eggman would have said, ‘Lady, you’ve got problems!’

Opting to pop in unassuming and unaware of what I’d just overheard, I went to the door and knocked. Through the window, I heard a book snap shut, then some rustlings of objects (probably hiding said book), and then the top half of the door swung open, revealing Trixie, who looked agitated at the interruption, but changed her countenance upon spying me.

“Good evening, Trixie,” I said.

“Oh. It’s you again,” said Trixie, in a civil tone. “I really shouldn’t be surprised at this point. This is, what, the third time you’ve called at my caravan?”

“Well, I’m calling because you called at Sugarcube Corner for me.”

Trixie didn't look the least bit surprised.

“I had a feeling you'd know it was me," she said. "Well, come on in. I don’t doubt you’ll have something on your mind.”	

“True enough, Miss Trixie.”

Trixie opened the other half of the door, and I stepped inside. I could see a pie with a slice already taken out of it and a few cupcake wrappers. I glanced at Trixie as she took a seat on her bed. She was looking much better, much more well-fed. Not overstuffed, I mean, but much more like the mare she was in her own posters. She really was kinda pretty, I had to admit.

“What are you staring at?” she asked.

“Er, sorry,” I stumbled, “I just thought, you’re looking very well tonight. Those sweets you bought really did you well.”

“Hmm? Oh! Of course, the pastries. Yes, I’m feeling much better, but I’m more inclined to put you at blame.”

“At blame?” I asked. “For what?”

“For hooking me on these insufferably irresistible sweets," she said, pouting. "If I lose my Great and Powerful figure because of you...”

“Oh, come on now,” I said, playfully, as I sat beside her. “You don’t seem the kind of pony to let that happen to yourself. You’re looking a lot more like you do in your posters.”

A slight tinge appeared in Trixie’s cheeks, but she cleared her throat.

“Thank you. I appreciate your obvious compliments to my beauty,” she said, giving her silky mane a flip. 

“Besides," I said, choosing to ignore this dash of vanity, "if you were able to go to Sugarcube Corner to buy stuff, why not do the same for the marketplace for vegetables and such? Couldn’t be too hard.”

This put Trixie into a moment of reflection.

“Hmm...I hadn’t thought of that, to be honest. I suppose the chastisements I received when I first arrived kept me from going back in secret.”

“I see. But I think we’re getting off topic, Trixie. I actually had something much more important to talk to you about, something that can’t wait.”

Trixie looked uneasy

“Is it about what I told you yesterday?" she asked.

"Sort of," I said. "But I’m not mad at you for what you said.”

Trixie blinked.

“You’re not?”

“No. Even if it was hard to swallow, you were just laying down your opinion, is all.”

Trixie said nothing to this. She merely stared at me.

“Which is why I want to know the truth,” I said, firmly.

“The truth?” repeated Trixie.

“The truth about you. Was it Beatrix Lulamoon who decided friends mean nothing, or was it The Great and Powerful Trixie? What happened to make you so cynical about friendship?”

I could tell that these questions didn't sit well with Trixie. She bit her lip and averted her eyes. She remained silent for a little while, and I just sat and waited, not taking my eyes off her. She finally asked, in a quiet voice,

“Why?”

“Hmm?”

“Why are you so interested in the history of a magician who has fallen from grace, brought down to the lowest of the low? What could possibly interest you about somepony like me?”

"Well," I said, slowly, trying to choose my words carefully, "it's because I feel like there’s much more to you than your dramatic bluster or your self-spoken grandeur. I feel like you really are a good pony inside, who bad things have happened to. I can't help but worry about you, all alone out here, ostracized by everypony in Ponyville. You just seem like you really need someone to talk to, someone who'll listen to you.”

Trixie stayed silent for a long time, looking me straight in the eye. At last, she said, in an almost pitying voice,

“Some might say you’re just a boy hoping to see a fairy tale ending in everything, when the world just doesn’t work that way.”

“Maybe, but it doesn’t hurt to be optimistic,” I countered.

“I suppose that’s true," said Trixie. "You’re too much of a goody-good, but I also can’t deny there’s an earnestness about you that I can’t help but admire. You're a good soul. I can see it in your eyes." 

She continued to look at me for a while, then, she took a deep breath, and let it out in a long sigh.

"Very well. If you're truly that eager to hear about me, I suppose I can't deny an audience. My story's not one that is easy to listen to, so you have been warned.”

She shifted herself into a more comfortable position, and I settled myself against the wall, prepared to hear her through to the end.


***


“I came from modest conditions in Canterlot. My father was a traveling salesman, and my mother a stage singer. I suppose you can say I inherited my wanderlust and love of theatrics from them both. Ever since I was a filly, I’d had a love of performing, and I’d hold little magic shows on my lawn, pulling rabbits from hats, card tricks; you know, the usual magician routine.”

I couldn’t help but smile at the thought of a little Trixie pulling a rabbit from a hat.

“Do you find something funny with that?” asked Trixie, abruptly.

“What? No, no, take it easy. I just thought of how adorable it must have been, seeing you as a little kid perform.”

Trixie gave a small snort. 

“Of course it was. Trixie has always had a style other ponies envied. They wished they could have my style, my flair, my elocution!”

(And there she goes again…)

“At least, that’s what I myself thought.”

“What do you mean?”

“My first couple shows, I managed to retain a decent-sized audience, but over time, they began to peter out. It seemed my tricks were becoming old news; they were growing tired of them. I’d have to step up my game with some new tactics. I started to, well, embellish my performances with tales of daring that I had accomplished in my youth.”

“Ones that you never actually did?” I asked, wryly.

“Well, no, but they didn’t know that. They were just simple little colts and fillies, and they devoured my every word.” 

Her eyes lit up with glee. 

“If only you could have seen their faces when I told them I had subdued a manticore single-hoofed when I was still in diapers!”

“Uh-huh," I said, unconvinced.

“But, sadly, even that had to end sometime," said Trixie, regretfully. "Some foals started to call my bluff, told me to prove how ‘great’ and ‘powerful’ I was. Well, let’s just say that went downhill fast. It didn’t help that I had dressed up a neighbor’s lazy dog as a manticore and ‘subdued’ it.”	

“So they started seeing you were just blowing hot air?”

“Yes,” she said, begrudgingly. “Now I wasn’t just a two-bit magician, but a two-bit magician who told lies bigger than a wart on a dragon’s nose. I could have let it slide then and there, move on, try to put that part of my life behind me, but that wasn’t my way. That wasn’t the way of the Great and Powerful Trixie,” she added, theatrically.

“So, what did you do?”

“My parents thought that I certainly had talent, so they enrolled me in Princess Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns. They seemed to have a lot of faith in me, and I had a lot of faith in myself, so, of course, I accepted." 

"Well, that sounds good," I said, hopefully.

"Oh, it made me the happiest I'd been in a long time," said Trixie, fondly, but then her face darkened. "Unfortunately, what I didn't know was that I had to pass an entrance exam."

"Oh," I said, a slight check in my enthusiasm. "Well, how bad could it have been?"

"Oh, I don't know," said Trixie, with awful sarcasm. "You tell me how bad hatching a dragon egg can be at a filly's age!"

My mouth fell open.

"Hatching a dragon egg?" I repeated, dumbstruck.

“Hatching a dragon egg!” repeated Trixie, in a voice that bordered on a shriek. “Were they mad?! How did they expect any foal my age to perform such a feat!?”

“Well, it is a school for gifted unicorns, from what its name implies," I said, reasonably.

Although, now that I thought about it, Twilight said she hatched Spike the same day she got her cutie mark and became Princess Celestia's pupil. Could that egg Trixie tried to hatch have been...?

“Hmph," Trixie huffed. "Well, of course, I couldn’t manage to hatch the stupid thing, so I had to take a different test to enter the school. It was a sore blow for my parents; they thought I’d be able to make a grand first impression on my first day, but the examiners were still fairly impressed with how I performed the other test. I made it into Celestia's school, and I graduated majoring in Performance Magic.”

“Well, that seems perfect for what you're good at.”

“Everyone else thought so, and, if truth be told, it was a demonstration of where I truly belonged. I received my cutie mark at the school talent show, actually. It was the first time I did what I was best at in front of an attentive crowd, without having to be a liar.”

“That’s good!” I said, enthusiastically.

“Indeed, but, during my school days, I found the world changing around me. My mother hadn’t performed in Canterlot in weeks, and she had gone into a slump. My father, too, hadn’t sold very many products in a long time.”

“What did he sell?”

“Oh, miscellany," said Trixie, waving an airy hoof, "anything you could buy under the sun. Little things, you know. He also had a lot of magic props that I’d sometimes borrow, and the biggest haul of homemade fireworks you'd ever seen. He was all smiles, my dear father, before business went bad. Now he would just sit around the wagon all day, lost in his own thoughts.”

“Oh.”

“Well, one day, both of my parents decided they had to get away, and so…” 

Trixie swallowed. 

“So they said goodbye to me and…and left Canterlot in Father’s wagon.”

“W-What??” I asked, surprised. “They left you behind?!”

“They told me it was best this way. They said I had so much potential, so much to give and live for, that they didn’t want to drag me down from my destiny solely by their loss of business. They wanted me to go on, even if it meant having to say goodbye. So, they left me in my aunt and uncle's care, and departed.”

A tear trickled down Trixie’s cheek as she said this, lowering her head. Moved, I put a hand to her shoulder.

“Trixie, I had no idea. But then again, it only shows how much your parents loved you. They were prepared to do anything to keep you living your dream, even if I can’t entirely condone their leaving you behind, in your relatives' care or no.”

Trixie sniffed and dabbed at her eyes.

“I suppose.” 

She cleared her throat and straightened up. 

“There. I’m all right now. Just a minor…a minor hiccup. Now, where was I?…Oh, yes. I somehow managed to get through my remaining semesters, despite my parents constantly being on my mind. I guess I was trying to keep their convictions from being in vain, so I had to press on, hard as it was. When I graduated, I had a clear idea of what it was I had to do. Father had left me his unsold collection of magic props as a parting gift, as well as his first caravan, so there was no doubt as to what my mission in life would be: to travel Equestria and put my talents to good use. I would draw ‘ooh’s and ‘ahh’s from all the backcountry bumpkins outside of Canterlot, and wow them with feats never before seen by pony eyes! I was no longer Beatrix Lulamoon, daughter of a salesman and a singer. I was…the Great and Powerful Trixie!”

She raised her foreleg in a grand point to the heavens, and I could have sworn I heard the crash of thunder somewhere, though that must have been in my head.

“So from then on, you spent your whole life on the road?” I asked.

“Yes. From Canterlot, I made my way across the other grand cities of Equestria: Manehattan, Fillydelphia, Hoofington, Las Pegasus, Baltimare…Oh, it was grand: street performances from my wagon, grand entertainments on stage. The wide-eyed wonder on their faces, the rich cuisines, the showers of bouquets, the cheers and screams of adulation.”

She gave a dreamy sigh and leaned against me, lost in the remembrance of those wonderful times. I smiled as I regarded her; she really did have a softer side after all.

However, she seemed to snap back into her old senses, as she realized what she was doing and straightened back up, clearing her throat and blushing.

“But you couldn’t linger anywhere, right?” I asked.

“As often as I wished I could, I couldn’t. At the start, indeed, I thought I could settle down in Manehattan, or even in Fillydelphia, but I’d wear out my welcome there pretty soon.”

Here, she became silent and meditative, as if weighing something on her mind, something she was debating whether or not to divulge. At last, after a swallow, she said,

“I had gained a few fans and admirers, but there was one in particular that really struck me.”

“And who was that?”

“A little pegasus named Star Glider. She had run away from home and, since there wasn’t a circus nearby, decided to run away to my caravan.”

I gave a snort of laughter, but thought it might have been in bad taste, so I apologized.

“Don’t be sorry,” said Trixie, with a smile. “It was a favorite joke of ours back then, actually. It was when I decided on a stopover in Las Pegasus. It‘s a grand city, with its casinos and neon, but it can also get very rough. It's a vacation spot, so it's like one wild party all day long. It's one of the few cities in Equestria to actually have a crime rate.”

“Wow. That does sound rough.”

“Nothing too extreme, though. Mostly petty robberies or hoof-fights.”

“Oh. Good,” I said, relieved. 

I shuddered to imagine the concept of murder in such a peaceful world.

“Well, I let Star Glider stay in my caravan. She was a scrawny, meek little thing, never spoke very loud, but stuck by my side like a shadow.”

(Sounds a little like Fluttershy.)

“I let her attend all of my shows for free, since she never had much money on her, and she refused to borrow any of mine. After a show, we’d spend the night hours talking and laughing before we both finally fell asleep. I remember she’d always drop off first, nuzzled by my side. She’d even call me ‘Trix’.”

Trixie looked away, her eyes becoming moist and misty. For a while, she said nothing, and I could almost fancy she was even choking back sobs. Something told me I didn’t want to know what the cause was, but, at the same time, curiosity got the best of me.

“Did something happen to her?”

Trixie took in a deep breath, then said,

“I took Star Glider with me to Manehattan. I promised her that I was going to show her the world. She was so happy to hear that, she actually hugged me and said, ‘A world with you is better than any other, Trix.' She was such a sweet girl. 

"Well, time wore on, and I was beginning to overstay my welcome. Ponies from the rougher quarters attended my show, and started heckling me, wolf-whistling and cracking jokes at me. It was getting very irritating. Star Glider was having more than she could stand as well. One night, after a particularly rough performance, she told me that the next time somepony heckled me, she was going to settle him herself."

"What?" I asked, startled. "She didn't really mean that, did she?"

“I didn't think she did," said Trixie. "I’ll admit, I actually found it funny; she was such a little, skinny pony, and as gentle as a lamb. She seemed to guess my misgivings on such a threat, though, and said, ‘For you, Trix, I’d punch a cockatrice in the eyes’. She was actually being serious. I didn’t want anything bad to happen to her, so I opted to just leave Manehattan, but she insisted I stay for my final scheduled show.

“Well, that night, someone started being rude while I was in the middle of a particularly tricky routine. Unfortunately, Star Glider had been sitting right in front of him, and wheeled on him to give him a good sock in the eyes. Very, very bad move on her part, for the heckler was a huge Earth pony.”

A leaden feeling descended into my stomach.

“Uh oh.”

“Star Glider wouldn’t back down, though. She told him to stop heckling me or she’d give him more than just a piece of her mind. The Earth pony just laughed and said something that clearly offended her, as she slapped him in the face. Another very bad move, because he struck back. Hard.”

My mouth fell open in horror.

“Oh no!…”

“Mares screamed, stallions called for security, and I…I just stood there, stricken dumb with horror, at seeing my best friend, poor innocent little Star Glider, struck down and lying on the floor, bleeding from the mouth. They restrained the thug, thankfully, and carted him off, but they took Star Glider to the Manehattan hospital. I wanted to follow her, to ask if she’d be all right, so I tailed the ambulance. I told them who I was, that she was my dearest friend, and I demanded to know what was going to happen to her. The doctor looked very grim, and told me she’d taken a nasty wound to the head from that oaf’s hoof. There was little chance she would recover. 

"I didn’t want to believe it. I didn’t want to believe my friend would die, not Star Glider…But I couldn’t stay. Somehow, I knew I couldn’t stay. I left them a considerable amount of bits to do what they could for her,  and I left Manehattan behind me, and never went back.”

I sat there, jaw hanging open in shock. To think something so violent could happen to such a sweet, innocent creature…

“It was all because of me," Trixie croaked. "I led her into this. I had led her into that fateful night.”

“Trixie…”

“I don’t even know what’s happened to her now. The most likely chance is that she’s…she’s…”

Her purple eyes began to overflow with tears.

“Dead…And it would have been all my fault. And if she recovered, would she still be my friend? She was hospitalized standing up for my show, standing up for a mare who had grown up telling lies and boasting. How would she ever forgive me? Oh, Star Glider…Star Glider…”

She couldn’t hold it in anymore. She burst into a paroxysm of sobs, throwing herself against my side and crying against my shirt. I confess that my eyes were plenty moist, and a tear or two were running down my face. I hated seeing other people cry, as it made me feel like crying too, but poor Star Glider. To think she might be…

I held Trixie in my arms as she cried into me. I doubt she would have let me do that if she weren’t so wracked with grief.

“It wasn’t your fault,” I said, softly.

“But it was. If I hadn’t led her with me…”

“None of you could have predicted that would happen. It was an accident.”

Trixie said nothing to that. Finally, I released my hold on her, and she sat up, straightening the disheveling her mane had undergone, and I did my best to wipe at the tears and snot she’d left behind on my shirt.

“So, that’s what made you believe?” I asked.

Trixie nodded.

“Yes. I would never allow another to fall into the same fatal accident that took Star Glider from me. Besides, what good are friends when you’re on the move like me? You never stay in one place, and you can’t take them with you without hassle. You always overstay your welcome, and gain as many enemies as you do fans. I was better off alone.”

“Trixie, I’m so sorry. I could never have imagined someone like you could suffer so much.”

Trixie sniffed.

“No one ever cares to think that, but, thank you.”

“Huh?”

“Thank you. You’re the first person since Star Glider to actually care about Beatrix Lulamoon, and not just The Great and Powerful Trixie. You’re the first since her to treat me as a friend and not a fan. I don’t really know if I’m ready to consider you a full friend, but you’re very sweet, I’ll say that.”

I felt warm on the inside at these words.

“Thanks, Trixie, and you’re welcome.”

She wiped her nose and gave me a small smile. I hated to break up such a nice moment, but I had to ask one more thing.

“Trixie, I'm sorry, but I want to know one last thing.”

“What?”

“Your hatred towards Twilight. Why do you have such animosity towards her? This can’t only be because of the Ursa Minor thing.”

Trixie’s face slowly darkened.

“You’re right. It isn’t. But it was a huge factor.”

I knew I had thrown myself into dangerous waters with this line of questioning, but there was no going back now. Trixie's voice grew angrier and louder as she went.

“After she showed me up with the Ursa Minor, news spread about it all across Equestria. Everypony had heard what had happened, and those who had been the most attentive listeners to my boasts were the ones who carried out their taunts the most fervently. I couldn’t get a moment’s peace wherever I went! No one would attend my shows without jeering all throughout or throwing rotten fruit my way! One pony even had the audacity to deface my new wagon! Well, I couldn’t get by on my shows, so I hard to earn my living on a rock farm! A rock farm, for Celestia’s sake! Breaking and moving rocks day after day! How was that the culmination of my efforts? How could Beatrix Lulamoon, the Great and Powerful Trixie, be destined to a life working a rock farm?!?”

She breathed heavily, her pupils shrunken to pinpoints of fury, looking very much like an angry tigress. I couldn't help shrinking back in trepidation.

“Then," she continued, "a few months ago, I found out from the newspaper about the fiasco at the royal wedding, particularly in how victory was earned by the 'dedication and instincts of Twilight Sparkle: Princess Celestia’s Prized Pupil’. She was more than my rival. She was my born enemy!”

“Born enemy?" I asked, weakly. "Isn’t that a little strong?”

“She took what I wanted!" Trixie snapped. "She somehow weaseled her way into Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns and passed the exam I had failed! It allowed her to become Celestia's personal lapdog! And then, she used that, years later, to make me look like a fool and throw me into my downward spiral! If I could have her life without shedding blood, I’d…”

Her face had become very frightening to behold in all of its fury. Terrified as I was, however, anger was uppermost in my heart.

“So that’s it," I said, quietly. "Just because she took what you had sought for yourself, you want her dead? Just because of that, you want revenge by any means possible? Because of that, you would use something like an ‘Alicorn Amulet’ to-”

I stopped, for I saw her give a sharp gasp of surprise. I realized my blunder, but I still pressed on.

“Yes, Trixie, I heard you, but I'm asking you to pay attention. I won't breathe a word of this to anyone, not your story, nor this amulet business, but if I hear anything that sounds like a threat against Twilight or her friends, we'll see how long these lips will stay sealed.”

Trixie didn’t once take her eyes off me.

“I know you’ve had it hard, Trixie, really hard. You failed to pass a test Twilight eventually passed, your parents left because they felt they were endangering your future, you lost your best friend, and you suffered humiliation, but is this really the way to go about it? Are you really going to throw everything away just for revenge on a young mare who’s saved this country God knows how many times now? If anything, you ought to be praising her for getting into Celestia’s school and becoming her student, because if not for her or her friends, you’d have been suffering under Nightmare Moon or Discord or some other threat, so I’d say a little gratitude is in order! 

“And on top of that, are you honestly that willing to go from a stage magician to a common thug? Are you seriously considering violence as the way to solve your problems? Isn’t that what sent Star Glider to the hospital? And speaking of Star Glider, what would she have to say to all of this? Would she approve of this plan of yours? Would she have been happy knowing her best friend, her ‘Trix’, was being driven through life by a lust for revenge!?”

I was now the one staring the other down with heavy, panting breaths, but in the next moment, I realized I was staring into a pair of frightened, tear-soaked eyes.

What was I doing? I’d become a monster in half an instant.

“Trixie, I-I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to-”

“No, no," Trixie interrupted. "You were right to snap at me. I think it was about time someone finally gave me the full truth. I’m not proud of what I’ve done, nor what I’ve been doing. I know she’d never want this. I know my parents would never have wanted this. But I was so desperate, so mad. I’ve lost so many ponies close to me.”

I took a deep breath, and sighed.

“The way it stands, Trixie," I said, "I’ve lost my family and friends back home, too, if I can’t find a way home, but after I left you yesterday, I met somepony who invested a few words of wisdom for me. She told me that, yes, parting hurts, and the pain will linger, but if you keep your eyes on the past, you’ll never enjoy what the present holds for you.”

Trixie took a wipe at her eyes, keeping them locked on mine.

“But what does the present hold for me? Solitude and rejection.”

“Only if you let it be that way, Trixie. It’ll take a little time, I’m sure, but it’s never too late to make reparations.”

“How do I go on, though? How do I go on after losing my dear friend, after I’ve suffered so much humiliation?”

“Well, you’ll have to do two things, the way I see it: forgive yourself, and forgive Twilight.”

Trixie bit her lip.

“I never said it would be easy," I said, "but if you’re ever going to move on, you have to let the past go.”

She still looked unsure, so I added,

“Don’t worry. I'll do what I can to help you. I’m not going anywhere anytime soon, as far as I see.”

Trixie wiped at her eyes again, and, closing them, slowly said,

“…I’ll try.”

I felt a wave of relief flow over me.

“Good.”

I gave her shoulders an encouraging squeeze, and she gave a slight smile. At that moment, though, something struck my memory, something Trixie had said.

“Trixie, did you say you worked on a rock farm?”

“Yes," she said, rolling her eyes. "Ridiculous, isn’t it? I never thought such a place existed.”

“Where was it?”

“Oh, I don't know. Southern Equestria, quite a ways away from Ponyville.”

I gasped. It couldn’t be…but what other explanation was there?

“Aha!” I crowed, smacking my fist into my palm. “Pinkie!”

“Pinkie?" asked Trixie, puzzled. "What about her?”

“Her family! Her family owns that rock farm!”

“W-What??” blurted Trixie, befuddled. “That sugar-hyped companion of yours is related to-No, no, you must be messing with me. It’s too unbelievable.”

“You must have met them, right? What are they like? Who was there?”

I was asking this with such energy that I must have been frightening the poor girl, but I had to know!

“Well, there was a stallion and a mare, a married couple, and three mares around your friend’s age, give or take a year or two, and an old grandmother.”

“Yes, yes! Just as Pinkie told me! Her parents, sisters, and grandmother! What are they like?”

Trixie, still looking somewhat bemused, pondered.

“Upon reflection, they were decent folk. Rather dour-faced, but polite and civil. The grandmother, though, she was always all smiles and kindness towards me. Now that I think about it, she does resemble your Pinkie.”

“Oh, this is just perfect!” I said. “Trixie, I could kiss you!”

Her face told me she’d rather I didn’t.

“Wait until Pinkie hears about this!”

I sprang to my feet and made for the door.

“What? No! You can’t!” Trixie shouted, making me stop.

“Why not? She’s dying to know what they’ve been up to!”

“But this news would be coming from me,” said Trixie, emphatically. “She already has a less-than-favorable opinion of me after what I've done. She might take it as a personal affront to know I was on her family’s rock farm.”

I hadn’t thought of that. Disappointing as it was to have to keep a secret like this, Trixie had a point.

“Well, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to wait for the letter to arrive, if one does arrive,” I reasoned.

Trixie breathed a sigh of relief.

“You really do care about her, don’t you?” I asked, slyly.

“For her? Don’t be ridiculous,” huffed Trixie. “I’m looking out for my own skin.”

“Ok, then, look,” I said, in a more business-like tone, “if I keep your days on the farm, your whole past, and this business about that amulet you were reading on a secret, you have to give me your word you won’t attempt anything…untoward against Twilight or her friends.”

Trixie chewed her lip again, mulling the deal over. Then she said, holding out her hoof,

“You have my word.”

“And you have mine.”

I gripped her hoof firmly in my hand, then released it and headed back for the door. I paused there and looked back at her.

“I’m sorry I made you dredge up those memories. I’ll let you blame me if you have nightmares.”

“Don’t be sorry," she said, gently. "It actually felt a little refreshing to get it off my chest.”

“Good. Well, good night, Trixie.”

“Good night…Dave.”

I gave her a smile, and I saw her return it as I descended the caravan steps and started making my way home.


***


By the time I returned to Sugarcube Corner, it was half past 10, and I found myself the witness of a bizarre scene.

Pinkie had fallen asleep, curled up like a dog, right beside the mailbox, but I saw her shiver as the night wind blew past her.

It went to my heart to see what she was willing to suffer to get her family’s letter. I knew she’d probably just head right back to it the next day, but I couldn’t just leave her out here in the cold. Kneeling down, I gathered her up in my arms. She wasn’t easy to carry, but somehow, I managed to hoist her up like a baby and carry her inside, praying the Cakes wouldn’t awaken from the tinkling of the door bell.

I lugged Pinkie upstairs to our room and set her down on her bed. Even in her dreams, she seemed to sense something was amiss, and when she was put down, she whimpered and fidgeted. I drew her covers over her, gave her mane a gentle stroke, and kissed her forehead. The fit ended, and a little smile crossed her muzzle.

“Sweet dreams, Pinkie,” I whispered, before turning to my own bed, ready to crash after such a night.
> A Step Toward Home
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was awakened the next morning when I felt something heavy land on my stomach, jolting me into a sitting position. I found that it was a small cake, and there at my bedside, beaming, was Pinkie.

“Pinkie? What’s going on?”

“Happy Weekiversary, Davie!” she said.

“Happy what?”

“It’s been one week today since you came to Ponyville! I was gonna throw you a dayiversary party, but that didn’t sound as good as weekiversary! Besides, if we went by dayiversaries, you’d have 7 of them in a week and 30 in a month! We’d need a lot of flour for that many cakes!” She giggled. “And just wait until it’s your monthiversary!”

As Pinkie gibbered on, I couldn’t help but find her words worthy of reflection. It had already been one week since I’d come here to Ponyville. It had felt like an eternity, and that was small wonder, as so much had happened in only one week. It was so easy to lose track time amongst these lovable equines.

And yet, it also meant one week since I’d departed from the human world, where my disappearance was sure to have caused some stir, if the passage of time between worlds even worked that way. One week since I left my parents and my friends without a word, leaving them to guess what might have been the cause of my disappearance, leaving them before I’d had a chance to say goodbye properly. Days, weeks, months…How long was a body to endure being away from home under such uncertain conditions?

And on top of that, what was I to do if I was to continue my stay here? I could get a job and earn some bits, but I couldn’t keep taking advantage of the Cakes’ generosity, yet there was still no surety of how long I was to remain in Equestria. So much uncertainty, so much guesswork.

“Davie?” I heard Pinkie say, touching my arm with her hoof. “Don’t you like it?”

“What? Of course I do, Pinkie! This is a very sweet gesture, and I’m very grateful. Come here, you.”

I drew her into a side-hug, and she gave me a warm nuzzle.

“By the way,” she said, “I do appreciate you bringing me in last night. I should have brought a blanket with me.”

“As if I was gonna let my best pony friend sleep on the cold hard street," I said.

Pinkie smiled warmly at this.

“Well, I’m gonna go grab breakfast, and then it’s back to my post!” She giggled. “Get it? Post? Mailbox?”

“Yeah, I got it,” I said, with a chuckle, and she bounced off.

I’d set my ‘weekiversary’ cake to the side, when there came a tapping at the window. Looking up, I saw Owlowiscious, who was tapping the glass with his talon, a piece of rolled parchment in his beak.

“Owlowiscious?” I went to the window and slid it open. “What are you doing here?”

The little owl spat the piece of paper into my hand and hooted.

“For me? Is it from Twilight?”

“Hoo.”

I unrolled the paper and read,

“‘Dear Dave, I have great news, and not so great news. Come to the library as soon as you can. -Twilight.’”

I turned the page over. That was all that was written.

“Do you know what she’s talking about?” I asked Owlowiscious.

“Hoo.”

“I’ll take that as a no.”

Heading over to Pinkie's writing desk, I took up a quill and, after dipping it into its ink well, I scrawled on a piece of parchment,

“Received your message and will be along presently. -Dave.”

“Can you deliver this to Twilight?” I asked Owlowiscious, handing it to him.

“Hoo.”

He received the paper in his beak, flapped his wings, and took off.

“Now I’ll just go wash up and see what Twilight has in mind,” I said, though there wasn’t really anyone to hear me but Gummy. 

As I made for the bathroom, however, my eye rested on the cake Pinkie had baked.

“And I suppose there’s nothing wrong with cake for breakfast,” I muttered, with a smile.


***


“Dave! Glad you got my message! Come in, come in!”

There was a serious urgency to Twilight's voice, as if what she had to say couldn’t be prolonged , so I followed her inside. Laid out on the big table in the center, the one housing the horse head statue, were several open books and hastily-scrawled notes.

“Well,” said Twilight, with a sigh, “brace yourself, because this is extraordinary even for me.”

“Yes?”

“The good news is, I may have a spell that can send you home!”

…Did I hear her right?

Something must have been wrong with my ears. She couldn’t have just said that.

“Y-You do??” I finally managed to ask.

“It took some digging around on Princess Celestia’s part, but she uncovered a spell in the Canterlot Archives, in the Star Swirl the Bearded wing!”

“Twilight, that’s great! So I do have a chance of going home?”

“…Yes and no,” said Twilight, with a reluctant look.

Oh no…

“Is that the not-so-great news?” I asked, my hope dying.

“Yes. The spell is extremely intricate. Every astrological aspect has to be in perfect alignment on the day it’s to be cast, and it’s not very easy to predict when another could happen. It could be months from now, or even an entire year. On top of that, I don’t know if I have the necessary magical power to do it. It came upon me so suddenly. To try and prepare everything now, on such short notice, would be insanely difficult, if not impossible, and everything points to today as a perfect day, too. I’m so sorry, Dave.”

She looked at me with a such a piteous and sorry expression, but even if the disappointment hadn’t struck me like a freight train, I couldn’t have stayed mad with her. After all, she knew how magic worked, and I hadn’t a speck of a clue. Still, it was a mighty sore blow to know that I’d been so close, yet was still so far.

I slowly collapsed into an armchair and put my befuddled head in my hands. I felt Twilight come up to me and rest her cheek comfortingly against mine. At last, when I finally found the will to speak, I raised my head to look at her, and said,

“Twi, I want you to know something right off the bat.”

“Yes?” she asked, with slight hesitation.

“I’m not mad at you. How could I be? I haven’t the faintest clue how Equestrian magic works, and you’re a scholar with it. Of course you’d know when something is impossible. Who am I to question it?”

Twilight looked faintly relieved.

“I’m glad you understand, but I’m still so sorry that I unleashed such a disappointment on you.”

“Well, I had to find out sooner or later, I suppose. You were honest with me, and I respect that.”

“I just wish it didn’t have to be so specific,” muttered Twilight. “It’s supposed to send foreign objects or ponies summoned by magic back to where they came from. If it were only an object, I could manage it easily, but with a pony, or in this case, a human of your size, it would take immense magic that could take days to prepare, and that’s taking into account knowing when another opportunity like this will happen.”

“See? This is why I don’t think I’ll ever understand real magic. So many rules and restrictions. And, you wanna know what else, Twilight?”

“Mm?”

“Despite how much I've wanted to return home, I honestly don’t know if I could really stand leaving so early. It would mean saying goodbye to everypony I’ve known. I still can’t believe it’s only been a week. You all know how to grow on a person.”

Twilight finally smiled and nestled against my cheek again.

“I’d certainly hate to see you go so soon. Princess Celestia is still evaluating all that you’ve told me of your world.”

“To be honest, my biggest concern is the people I know back home," I said. "They'll have no idea where I was or sent to. It's been weighing on my heart ever since, especially knowing I never even said goodbye."

“Oh, that's right," said Twilight, sadly. "I’m sorry, Dave.”

“If only there was a way to be able to let them know, a way to send a message to them, but I doubt Spike’s fire-delivery would work.”

“No. It’s meant to only be a connection between Spike and Princess Celestia, but I know what you mean.”

...Hold the phone…

What was it Twilight just said?

“It’s supposed to send foreign objects or ponies summoned by magic back to where they came from. If it were only an object, I could manage it easily…”

Objects…objects transported by magic…

I had been transported by magic, but was there something else that could fall into that category, something that could be considered an object?

…

My notebook!

Ever since I’d arrived, it had sat unattended to, annoying me with its missing page. I hadn’t even found any use for it ever since I’d arrived, as I had never really considered making notes in it. But now that I thought about it, maybe I could…

Yes…

YES!

“That’s it!” I crowed, sitting up straight. “THAT’S IT!!”

“That’s what?” asked Twilight, surprised by my behavior.

“My notebook, Twilight! My notebook!” I said, gripping her hooves. “It came with me from my world! It fits the spell’s criteria! I can write a message on it to my parents on its paper, and send that message back home! That way, they’ll know where I am, what I’ve been up to, how I’ve felt about them ever since I was whisked away! It’s perfect!”

Now it was Twilight’s turn to become excited.

“Yes! That makes perfect sense! That’s a wonderful idea!”

Laughing ecstatically, I jumped and danced around with her, whirling her about in a transport of joy over hatching such a great idea, her giggling wildly all the time. At last we stopped, and I took her face in my hands.

“Twilight Sparkle, you are an absolute marvel!”

And I planted a grateful kiss on her snout.

She blushed very deeply, but hopefully she knew that kiss was out of joy and gratitude. The next instant, I had thrown my arms around her, and she hugged me in return.

Even if I couldn’t go home, I could tell me family all, that I was safe, that I was among friends, that my deepest regret upon being grabbed out of my world was that I was unable to say goodbye…Oh, it was too good to be true, but it felt so wonderful!

We broke apart, and I said,

“Can you summon the others here tonight? The spell conditions will still be in effect, right?”

“Until midnight, yes.”

“Good. I don’t want them to miss this. I’d rather they were present anyway, for what I plan to do.”

“I understand. Come at 7, and we’ll all be here.”

“All right. I still can’t thank you enough for this, Twi. Having to stay longer in Equestria is worth it if I can dispel any lingering doubt for my folks back home.”

“I knew some good would come of this news in the end,” said Twilight, warmly. “Now, you go do what you’ve got to. I need to concentrate on making sure I’ve got the spell down-pat.”

“Right. See you then.”

I took my leave of the bookish unicorn, my head full of wonder and my heart full of gratitude. Oh, Twilight Sparkle, I’d never, ever forget this service you were rendering to me.


***


As Twilight had said, they were all assembled at the library at 7 when I arrived with my notebook: Applejack, Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash, and Rarity. Pinkie had accompanied me, though I hadn’t told her what the business was yet. All I told her was that it was something important that she would have been sorry to miss out on, so, of course, she managed to tear herself away from the mailbox for that.

“And here’s the man of the hour!” said Twilight.

“Hello, ladies," I greeted, "Glad you accepted our summons.”

“But what’s it all about?” asked Rainbow, in a tone that bordered on impatience.

“Twilight?”

“Right.” She turned to the others. “Girls, Princess Celestia contacted me early this morning about an astounding new development.”

This produced an excitable reaction from the five other mares.

“What is it? Is Discord loose again?” asked Applejack.

“Is it another Changeling invasion?” asked Fluttershy.

“Is Princess Celestia declaring an Annual Cupcake Day?” asked Pinkie.

This earned her a round of odd stares.

“What? Tell me you wouldn’t want that put on your calendar. Go on, tell me!”

“Anyway,” said Twilight, with a roll of the eyes, “it’s none of those things. She uncovered a spell that could allow Dave to return to the human world.”

A round of gasps followed this, and all eyes fell upon me. One pair of eyes, however, was noticeably sadder than the others, and I felt a pair of forelegs wrap protectively around my waist. Poor Pinkie.

“I know, I know,” said Twilight, “This came completely out of the blue, and as much as Dave has been very much welcome in Ponyville, we all know his real home is back where he came from. Unfortunately, the timing in which we found this spell was…well, a little unfortunate.”

“How so?” asked Rarity.

“This spell is extremely tricky. It has to be performed on a certain day when certain planets and stars are in alignment, and it’s difficult to tell when these alignments will occur. It could be weeks from now, months, even years. Sadly, today would have been a perfect day for it.”

“But, if it still works today,” said Rainbow, “why not zap him back now? You’ve done loads of super-powerful spells before! This one’s gotta be cake for you!”

At the words ‘zap him back’, I felt Pinkie’s grip tighten.

“Because it takes an enormous amount of magic to be able to perform this spell. If I had Princess Celestia or even Princess Luna aiding me, we together might have the power to do it, but since they’re both occupied, it’ll be almost impossible to utilize the necessary amount of magic.”

A collective, sad “Oh” went around the five other mares.

“But, there is a plus to all of this.”

All ears were perked and attentive again.

“The spell doesn’t require nearly enough energy for smaller targets. You see, the spell in question sends objects or individuals summoned by magic back to where they came from. Dave’s notebook came with him when he was brought here.”

I displayed the notebook for all to see.

“But what the hay’s the good in sending that back?” asked Applejack. “It’s just a notebook.”

“True, Applejack,” I said, “but I’ve written a message to my folks back home on its paper, in the hopes that it'll reach them. I may not be sending the notebook back, but the paper still fits the criteria. If I may confess, one of the things that’s sat with me the hardest ever since I came here was not being able to let my family know what’s become of me, and I’ve felt guilty about leaving them so abruptly with no explanation or assurance.”

“Oh, you poor darling,” said Rarity, sympathetically. “We had no idea…”

“That sounds just awful,” sympathized Fluttershy, “I’d hate to imagine something taking me away, and I wasn’t able to let my friends know I was ok.”

“Well, that’s what Twilight’s spell finally fixes,” I said. “And I called you all here to bear witness to it.”

I laid the notebook down and opened it to the next leaf, pulling it out to show that I had ripped it loose from the inside. On both sides were written the following lines:

“Dear Mom and Dad,

You have no idea how awful it’s felt, being separated from home by means I can’t explain, and not being able to let you know what’s become of me. There isn’t a strong enough apology in the world to make up for leaving you in such considerable worry over my absence, but I'm going to put those worries aside. By some odd occurrence unknown to me, I’ve been transported into a whole new world, a world called Equestria, full of talking ponies, pegasi, and unicorns. Yes, I know it sounds fantastic and even ridiculous, but it’s true. In fact, I’ve made friends with 6 of them, 6 wonderful ponies who I’m absolutely honored to have fallen into company with. Twilight Sparkle, a very bright unicorn librarian, and student of this world’s princess; Applejack, a hard-working apple farmer, very kind and honest; Fluttershy, a pegasus who loves animals, quiet but sweet as honey; Rarity, a unicorn fashion-designer, very sophisticated and equally generous; Rainbow Dash, a speedster of a pegasus, always up for some fun; and last but definitely not least, Pinkie Pie, an Earth pony who found me when I first arrived, and has been my best friend ever since.

I cannot say for certain how long my stay will endure, as the spell that will allow me to do so is complicated, and unfortunately, there isn't enough power to send me back on such short notice. However, I wanted to be able to send this your way with what can be done with the spell at the moment, as reassurance of my safety. It pains me that this is all I can do, but it is some relief at least. My phone is still back there with you, so if you can, please let Leanne know what’s happened, and tell her I love her even across the divide of separate worlds.

I love both of you so much, and can’t offer enough of an apology for all of the times I’ve been short-tempered or snotty with either of you, when neither of you deserved such treatment. If I could go back and undo any of those moments, I would in a heartbeat. Take care of yourselves.
Warmest love,
Your son,	
Dave.”

The paper was spotted here and there with the dried remains of tears I couldn’t hold back as I was writing, but it was all perfectly legible. I could hear sniffling from some of the girls as they read, though I had no idea they’d be so struck by my own writing.

“Dave, that’s right beautiful,” said Applejack.

“I’m not gonna get sappy, I’m not gonna get sappy,” Rainbow was muttering stubbornly to herself, head turned, though her voice was telling me otherwise.

“I think it’s a very considerate sentiment,” said Fluttershy, tenderly.

“Thanks, girls,” I said, “but words alone aren't enough. You know what this really needs?" 

"What?" asked Rainbow.

"A group photo! That way, my folks will know I'm telling the truth!"

"Great idea!" said Twilight. "Hang on, I'll go grab my camera."

"Come to think of it, where's Spike?" I asked, as she went up. "I haven't seen him at all."

"He's feeling a little under the weather, so he's resting. Don't worry, I won't leave him in the dark about what's going on."

"That's good."

Shortly after, Twilight returned with an old-fashioned bellows camera levitated in front of her. She moved it around several spots on the floor, probably trying to get the perfect shot for us to be in, and finally stopped with the camera facing one of the shelved walls.

"Ok, everypony, gather around."

We all grouped together, with me being in the center. Twilight pressed the button for the camera, which seemed to have a timer function, as she galloped over and joined us.

"Say cheese!" said Pinkie.

"Cheese!"

The camera flashed, and then spat out a photograph. Twilight picked it up in her magic and showed it to us for all to see. Pinkie and Rainbow had huge toothy smiles while Applejack, Rarity, Twilight, and Fluttershy had more gentle ones. As for me, I could do nothing better than a simple closed-mouth smile; whenever I tried to smile with my teeth for a picture, it ended up coming out like a grimace or something.

"Looks great!" I said.

"I suppose," said Rarity, "although I wish I'd done my mane up a little better. If this is for your family to see, I don't want to look like a train wreck."

"What are you talking about, Rarity? You look great!"

"Oh, that's very sweet of you to say, dear," she said, kindly.

"But is this really going to work, Twilight?" I asked. "Is the photo going to go with it, even if it wasn't brought here by magic?"

"No reason why it shouldn't," said Twilight, tucking the photo underneath the letter page. "The spell didn't list any precautions about it."

"All right, then. And now, Twilight, I leave the rest to you.”

Twilight nodded, fixed her eyes on the letter, and then, closing her eyes, tensed herself with gritted teeth, her horn flaring up with a purple-pink fire. Even though the windows were closed, a high wind began to blow inside the room, though the letter stayed where it was. This, then, became surrounded in the same fiery aura emanating from Twilight’s horn, and began to intensify second by second, until finally, with a burst like a firework, the entire page, along with the photo, vanished from where they had sat on the table.

“And that’s done,” she said.

I felt as if a stone had just been taken off of my shoulders. My heart felt considerably healed from having sent that message. 

“Thanks, girls. You have no idea what a load off my conscience this is.”

“So, does this mean you’re gonna be staying with us even longer?” asked Rainbow, in a hopeful tone.

“Looks like it, Rainbow," I said, grinning. "Until further notice, Ponyville's now my home away from home!”

Pinkie, with a look of absolute, inexpressible glee on her face, began to shudder in place, as if she were about to explode, and I was indeed going to duck and cover, when she suddenly shrieked,

“GROUP HUG!!!”

She launched herself at me, wrapping me in the tightest, warmest hug she had ever bestowed upon me yet. With equal warmth, though less suffocating strength, I felt the five others group around and join the hug with squeals and sighs of delight: the four ground-bound ponies grouped around me from below, while the two pegasi were at each cheek. 

“Dang it, girls,” I said, in a voice choking up with emotion, “you’re gonna get me crying again, but you’re all the best, just the best…”

I don’t know how long the group hug lasted, and frankly, I wouldn’t care how long it did. It felt wonderful, being in the warm embrace of these six wonderful friends, who so honestly and earnestly welcomed this stranger into their homeland with open hooves. If only it could have been like that more often in my world.

“Of course,” I said, at last, when we broke apart, “if I’m going to be staying in Ponyville, I’m going to need to arrange a home of my own.”

“A home of your own?” asked Pinkie. “But-”

“It’s no use arguing, Pinkie,” I said, stopping her. “I refuse to continue being a freeloader at your and the Cakes’ expense. I can’t possibly stay for free under an indeterminate frame of time, and you know that. It wouldn’t be right.”

She did seem to know it, as her ears drooped in sadness. It did hurt my heart some that she’d be losing her roommate so quickly, so I put my hand under her chin and tilted her head up to look me in the eye.

“Buck up, Pinks,” I said, consolingly, “We’ll still be friends, and if I can arrange it, I’ll have a house close by. We’ll still be able to see each other as often as possible.”

“...Yeah, I guess you’re right,” said Pinkie, finally smiling again.

“That’s my girl,” I said, giving her mane a good ruffle.

“I could arrange for a meeting with Princess Celestia,” said Twilight. “She can probably settle you with a stipend.”

“A stipend? You mean pay from the government for offering my services? Including a house?”

“Exactly.”

“Well, tell Princess Celestia that I’m more than ready to offer whatever services I can for her,” I said, with a grand bow.

“Great! I’ll get a letter started as soon as I can!”

“I say this calls for a celebration!” said Rarity.

“Yeah!” said Pinkie, with her old enthusiasm, “Come on, ponies! Dinner for Dave, on us!”

And before I could express surprise at this sudden idea, or embarrassment at their offering to treat me, I was swept out the door, out into Ponyville, my new home for the time being.


***


That evening, back at Sugarcube Corner, I lay awake in bed, my stomach full of a hearty dinner and my head swimming with thoughts both wonderful and varied. My conscience felt wonderfully light now that I had at least given my parents the confessional notice I had been dying to give them from the start, as well as proof that I wasn't just spouting nonsense. They at least knew I was sorry for disappearing so suddenly, that I was in safe hands, er, hooves, rather, and that I still and always have loved them.

I was going to be living in Ponyville, officially, from here on out. Of course, it was only until Twilight could find another time to get this spell going, but with the way the spell sounded, with how accurate it had to be, it sounded like it was going to be for quite some time yet. I was gonna miss having Pinkie for a roommate, truth be told.

Speak of the devil, as these thoughts were floating through my head, I felt something climb onto my bed, its weight making the frame creak, and I felt it nestle up by my side. Looking down, I saw, sure enough, that it was Pinkie.

“Pinkie, I thought we had an agreement,” I said, in a voice that was more serious than I was really feeling.

“I know,” said Pinkie, “but I just wanted to sleep next to you tonight, since we might not be roommates for very long.”

“Hey, now, don’t carry on that way,” I said, gently, drawing an arm around her. “Like I said, we’re still going to be the best of friends. You can visit me whenever you want. As if I’d ever deny my best pony pal a chance to see me. Is it a deal?”

Pinkie beamed.

“Deal!”

And at the same time, we both participated in the motions of the Pinkie Promise:

“Cross my heart-”

“-And hope to fly-”

“Stick a cupcake in my eye.”

Pinkie giggled and snuggled deeper against me, and I lay my head down on the pillow, though I could feel Pinkie’s candy-scented mane tickling against my neck.

“Good night, Davie.”

“Good night, Pinkie.”

She mumbled something else as she began to drift off, but I couldn’t quite distinguish what it even sounded like, so I let it slide, and soon drifted off myself, the explosion of thoughts that today generated mingling with my dreams.
> A Day at the Spa
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

By the time I woke up the next day, it was past 8 o’clock, and I could hear ponies clamoring downstairs far below. The breakfast rush must have come while I was sleeping. Then again, it had been a very busy night. 

Pinkie was still sound asleep by my side, hooves curled up in front of her face in a very adorable way. In addition, Gummy had crawled up and curled up on top of the covers. He awoke as I shifted, blinking his eyes unevenly at me.

“Morning, fella,” I said, scratching under his chin. “When did you get up here?”

Blink.

“Just thought you’d join in since Pinkie was sleeping beside me?”

Blink.

“Can’t blame ya.” I turned to Pinkie. “Hey, Pinkie, time to get up.”

Pinkie mumbled and shifted over.

“Hey, come on, Pinkie. What happened to being an early bird? You’re always up before me, and we missed the breakfast rush.”

I shook her shoulder, but she mumbled again, pulling the covers tighter over her, exactly like a child not wanting to go to school.

“Oh, so that’s how we’re gonna play, is it? Gummy, you’re my witness. She asked for it.”

Blink.

Slowly, I pulled away the covers, and then, quick as a blink, initiated a tickle offensive on Pinkie’s exposed belly. The result was immediate, though gradual. First she started giggling softly, but then the volume escalated as I kept it up, and she was soon rolling on the bed, kicking her hooves and laughing. Gummy had leaped off to avoid getting flung away, thankfully.

At last I stopped, and Pinkie found herself looking me straight in the face, blinking in puzzlement.

“Hey, sleepyhead,” I said, pleasantly.

“Hi, Davie,” said Pinkie. “You really know how to fight unfair, you know that?”

“What? All’s fair in a tickle war,” I responded, poking her nose, which made her give another giggle. “Anyways, it’s time to get up. It’s already past 8.”

“WHAT??” Pinkie shouted. “Oh no! I overslept!”

She bounded out of bed, pacing about in a frenzy.

“Oh, no! I’m an over-sleeping snoring-sleep sleepy-pants!”

“Pinkie, calm down,” I said, getting up myself. “It’s not like it’s the end of the world. Besides, even if you don’t normally help with the rush, you can still mingle.”

Pinkie's pacing gradually slowed down, and she became calmer.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” she said, “but I’ve never overslept before. I don’t know why I did today.”

“Well, to be fair, we did have a long night last night. I was pretty exhausted when we came back from dinner.”

“Me too. Maybe that was it. Anyway, I can’t stick around, Davie. I’ve got to-”

“If you say ‘go stand by the mailbox’, Pinkie,” I said, sternly.

“Aww, how’d you guess?”

“Pinkie, please. You’re gonna worry yourself stupid if you keep stressing about this letter business. The response will come, just be patient. I mean-”

But something caught my eye. I’d moved to the window as I was talking, in order to just take a look outside, when I saw a familiar gray and blonde pegasus standing at a mailbox.

Pinkie’s mailbox!

“Pinkie!” I cried. “Derpy! She just put something in your mailbox! It could be it!”

Pinkie sat up straight as a bolt, irises shrunken for a brief moment before expanding to fill her entire eyes. She let out a squeal that wouldn’t have been out of place coming from the lips of a fan girl at a rock concert.

“OHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSHOHMYGOSH!!!” she yelped, and zipped right down the stairs like a bolt of lightning.

There came a sound of confused voices, some “Sorry”s and “Excuse me”s, and the next moment, I saw her outside with Derpy. I didn’t hear what they were saying, but Derpy seemed to be happily affirming something to my pink pal. I heard Pinkie squeal again and saw her grab Derpy in a tight hug before grabbing a letter from the mailbox and dashing back inside. She was back up in her room in an instant, the letter clutched in her teeth.

“ITSHEREITSHEREITSHEREITSHERE!!” she squealed.

“Great! Now let’s see what it says!”

Pinkie took it out of her mouth, and was about to open it, when her face suddenly changed from an excited expression to a more subdued, almost worried one.

“Pinkie? What’s wrong? This is what you were waiting for, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, but I’m kinda worried about what’ll happen. Can you open it and read it for me, Davie?”

“You want me to? Really?”

“Yes. Please?”

“Well…Ok, if that's what you want.”

I accepted the letter from her, opened the envelope, and took out the parchment inside. It read as follows,

“Dear Sis,

How’ve you been? It’s been ages since we heard from you! You’ve no idea how much we’ve all missed you. Sounds like you’ve made some great friends since you moved away. Don't feel bad about not writing in so long. It sounds like you've had enough on your plate as it is.

Everything’s going as it always has here, rocks as far as the eye can see, and that's how we like it. The mine's putting out quite a bit of money as well. Marble's the same as ever, but she still talks about you a lot. Maud's pursuing her rocktorate in Rock Science, so she's been away from home doing research around Equestria.

Things have actually been a little sad without you around, sis. Mom and Dad have really lightened up since you threw your first party for them, but it just hasn’t been the same. We miss your big smile, your big parties, and your big hugs. Dad’s more or less his usual quiet self, but Mom says he prays every night that you’re doing all right. Grammy’s still with us, and as fun as ever, though she also says things haven’t been the same without her Pinkie Pie.

As much as all of us would love to see you, we can’t all leave the farm, since the autumn rotation is coming up. If you could come to see us, though, that would make us super happy, even Dad, though he’ll probably never admit it. And don’t worry about the farm work. We’ve had plenty of volunteer farm-hooves over the years. Some stuck around, some left on account of the work (what’s the big deal? We’re just moving and breaking rocks). Some were plain weird, especially the unicorns. Anyways, we have it all under control.

Hope to hear from you again soon!

Your sister,

Limestone.”

As soon as I finished, I looked at Pinkie, who had heard it all with wide eyes and slightly agape mouth.

“See, Pinkie?" I said, smiling. "They still love you and miss you like any family would miss their daughter/sister.”

Pinkie said nothing. Instead, she looked as if she was about to burst into a fire hydrant’s worth of tears, her lip quivering and her irises once more expanding to fill her entire eyes. She even gave a small sob that went to my heart.

“Oh, come here, you,” I said, comfortingly, as I knelt down in front of her with open arms.

She threw herself at me, hugging me and crying against my shoulder, while I patted her back consolingly.

“I’m…I’m so happy,” she sobbed out. “All this time I was worried about what they’d say, and now I know they do miss me and love me. I should never have doubted them.” 

She finally pulled away to look me in the face. 

“Oh, Davie, what am I going to do? I can’t get a letter like this and not go see them!”

“Well, you’ve got plenty of time to prepare," I said. "Just let Mr. and Mrs. Cake know. I’m sure they’d be happy to know you’re visiting your family.”

“Yeah! You’re right!” said Pinkie, sounding much more like her usual self. “And what’s more, I’ll bring you, Spike, and the girls with me when I go!  If I’m gonna see my folks again, then they get to meet my bestest-best friends!”

“That’s the spirit!” I encouraged, ruffling her mane.

“I’ve gotta get started right away!” She bounded over to her planning table. “If they’ve missed my Pinkie Pie Parties, I’ve gotta get my Party Cannon primed for this!”

“Sounds like a plan. I’m gonna go shower and take a walk around Ponyville, give you some alone time to get things ready.”

“Okie-dokie-lokie!”

A loud growl suddenly emanated, double-fold, from both of us. We exchanged sheepish looks.

“And grab breakfast, of course,” said Pinkie. 

“Right.”


***


With all of that squared away, I left Pinkie to her planning, and was just stepping out into Ponyville’s main street, full of relief at seeing Pinkie so excited about seeing her folks again, when-

*BLAM!*

A thud like a cannon shot reverberated through the air, and I could swear I heard the cracking of glass. The reverberation itself almost knocked me off my feet.

“What the-?!”

“Good morning, Ponyville!” came a voice I thought I recognized, tomboyish and slightly crazed. 

Glancing up, I saw a familiar white unicorn with a frizzy blue mane leaning out of a second-story window, about a block down.

“Vinyl Scratch?” I called up, when I had come just below the window. 

She looked down.

“Oh! It’s you, human-guy! What’s shakin’?”

“Every house within a hundred square miles, I'd say," I said, dryly. "What the heck was that noise? It sounded like a cannon!”

“Chillax, man. I always greet the day with a good ol’ bass boom! Wakes up the neighborhood like a charm.”

“Bass boom? You mean that came from your speakers?”

“You got it!”

Words failed me for a second or two, especially at how proud she was of declaring this.

“…How are you not deaf?”

Vinyl laughed. 

“You’d be surprised how many ponies ask me that!”

“Actually, I don’t think I would be surprised," I said, flatly, "but besides that, it’s almost 9 o’clock. Not quite an early bird, are you?”

“Hey, man, you party hard, you crash hard,” she said, in a slightly sour voice. “I was up late last night at a gig. You try getting up after a night behind the turntables with the bass still pounding in your veins. It’s like my body’s still rocking while my mind’s trying to chill. ”

“Oh. Sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude.”

“Psh! Don’t sweat it, man,” she said, back to her usual self, “I’ve taken worse guff than that from worse ponies.”

“But you say you do this every morning? I’ve been here a week, and this is my first time hearing that ‘bass boom’ of yours.”

“Ah, that. Well, a good buddy of mine was borrowing my bass speaker, and just returned it last night. Good thing he didn’t scuff it, or he’d have a hard time chewing without teeth in his mouth.” 

I gulped at how casually she lay out this threat.

“And it was my Wub-Meister’s loud, proud voice I just graced your ears with. No need to thank me,” she added, rubbing her chest with her hoof in a proud way.

(Good Lord, she even named it,)

“Well, at least I know what to expect from now on,” I said.

“Fat chance,” said Vinyl. “The DJ-PON3 way is to hit them when they least expect it! YOW!” 

She punctuated this yell with a point to the heavens and a huge toothy grin.

“Uh-huh," I said, non-plussed. "Well, you have a good day, Vinyl.”

“Thanks! Same to you, bro!”

And she shut her window while I went on my way, feeling nothing but deep, deep pity for her poor, probably long-suffering neighbors.


***


I was still milling about Ponyville, pondering how I should occupy my time, saying hi to the occasional pony I met, when-

“Dave! There you are, darling!”

Rarity came trotting up towards me, wearing her saddlebags.

“Hey, Rarity. What’s up?”

“It’s spa day, that’s what’s ‘up’, and you’re coming with.”

That caught me by surprise.

“Huh? But-”

“Come now, no buts. I shan’t take no for an answer. In any case, it wouldn’t do to keep Fluttershy waiting.”

There was a brief flash from her horn, and I found myself suddenly dragged by my wrist by…nothing. Unicorn magic could do that?

“But this is so out of the blue!” I protested. “I wasn't prepared for this! I don't even have the right clothing for it!”

“That’s why I thought ahead, dear,” said Rarity. 

Briefly releasing my wrist, she opened the flap of her saddlebag and levitated an article of clothing out, clothing that looked like…

“Are those…swim trunks?” I asked.

“That they are!” said Rarity, proudly. “I knew you might feel a little embarrassed if you had nothing on at the spa, so I made these for you. Do you like them?”

I took the trunks in my hands and looked them over. They looked genuine: elastic waist, proper lining, and they were a nice sea green.

“I do," I said. "They look pretty good.”

“Splendid! Then you have nothing to worry about. Shall we?”

“Lead the way, then, milady,” I said, with a bow.

And Rarity, smiling in an amused way, led the way down the street, toward the Ponyville spa.


***


I should bring up that Equestria seemed to have a fondness for medieval-style architecture, with their thatched-roofed houses being just one example. The spa had a roof resembling pitched tents, in a style that reminded me irresistibly of a Renaissance fair. Across the way was a building with a roof resembling a jester’s cap, which, when I had first seen it, I rightly guessed to have been the resident joke shop.

Rarity led me through the spa door, which rang as we entered, and we found Fluttershy sitting in a waiting room chair, reading a magazine. She looked up as we entered.

“Sorry I’m late, Fluttershy," said Rarity. "I just ran into Dave and had to bring him along.”

“Oh, that’s fine. Hello, Dave.”

“Hi, Fluttershy. I hope you don’t mind my joining you, even if it is at the last minute.”

“Not at all! You’ll love it here.”

“The usual, Lotus,” Rarity told the pony behind the counter, a blue Earth pony with a silky pink mane done up behind a white headband. “And we’ll be including our friend, Dave, here,” she added, giving me a nudge. “He’d like to change out of his clothes, first.”

“Of course, Miss Rarity,” said Lotus, speaking with a strong, I wanna say Eastern European, accent. “Aloe!” she called. “Could you see to Miss Rarity and Miss Fluttershy?”

“Of course, Lotus!” came the response, higher in tone, but still with the same accent. 

Lotus turned to me.

“If you would accompany me, sir, I will show you to a changing room.”

“Thank you,” I said, following her as she stepped from behind the counter, showing that her cutie mark was a flower blossom. 

As we went, another pony trotted by, who looked exactly like Lotus, only she was pink with a blue mane. I suppose they were sisters.

“So, this is your first time at the Ponyville spa?”

“It’s my first time in a spa, period.”

“Oh, you poor dear. I can only imagine how tense and sore you must be. Well, fear not! We here at the Ponyville Spa guarantee complete refreshment, relaxation, and rejuvenation!”

“Sounds great.”

She stopped at a door that read ‘Changing Room’.

“As soon as you’re ready, you may head to the sauna to join your friends. It’s just down the hall, to the left.”

She indicated the spot with a point of her hoof.

“Thank you, miss.”

With a genial smile, Lotus left me to my business, and I went into the changing room.


***


By the time I caught up to Rarity and Fluttershy, having swapped my clothes and glasses for the new swim trunks (which felt very comfortable), they were already seated inside the sauna, their manes done up with towels. 

I had to say, it felt a little awkward being in their presence wearing nothing but these swim trunks. So far, I’d been completely clothed when around these ponies, so the sight of my half-naked self must have been something new to them. Even back at home, I never really liked going shirtless, because I had always felt self-conscious about the fact that I was slightly overweight. At the very least, I was glad that Equestrians were smart enough to know that my clothes weren’t a part of my physical being. I did see them glance at me once, but said nothing about it, so I let the matter drop, though it still nagged me vaguely.

“Sorry to keep you waiting, girls.”

“Oh, not at all, Dave,” said Rarity, “we were just about to get started.”

I took a seat myself, and the pink pony, Aloe, tipped a ladle of water onto a pile of coals, sending a hissing cloud of steam to enshroud the room. She stepped out, leaving us to ourselves.

How can I describe it? It was hot, and growing hotter every moment, and yet, it felt strangely relaxing. I wasn’t the type of person who enjoyed outdoor activities, as I didn’t like getting hot and sweaty, but here, without the strain of being outside in the hot sun, my muscles sore from physical activity, it felt refreshing as the sweat broke out over my whole body, as if something inside me had pulled a switch and began flushing the toxins out through my skin.

“How are you holding out, Dave?” asked Rarity.

“I’ve never felt anything like this before,” I said, almost dreamily. “My skin feels like it’s crying with relief.”

“That’s exactly how I felt my first time,” said Fluttershy. “Isn’t it wonderful?”

“It’s fabulous...”

I sank back against the wall, feeling hot and damp all over, and yet strangely complacent, even letting out a sigh. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Rarity beam at how well I was taking it, and turned to Fluttershy to, I assume, resume a conversation that had been broken off.

“So, as I was saying, the other day, this mare walks into my boutique, complaining that the dress I’d made her was too large.”

“Oh, dear. Had you made a mistake?”

“Darling, you know me. My track record is nearly spotless. Well, the slip-up was easy to figure out. Her husband had pre-ordered the dress weeks ago, you see, and, well, it’s highly improper of me to say, but she had been rather portly until recently.”

“Oh…Oh! You mean he didn’t know she had lost weight?”

“Exactly! It would have been quite humorous if it hadn’t meant so much to her. When I told her my opinion on the matter, she said she was going to give her husband a piece of her mind. I tried to ease her with a refund and an offer for a personal fitting, which she did consent to, graciously, but she was still rather sore at her poor hubby.”

“Goodness, I would say the husband was justified, since he ordered it weeks before, and probably didn’t realize his wife was dieting, but then again, he should have at least noticed.”

“Oh, I quite agree. Men can be so unobservant sometimes. No offense, Dave.”

“None taken,” I muttered, already drifting off in the soothing warmth. 

Their conversation carried on, but I hardly caught another word of it until we were finished in the sauna.


***


After a good cool-down from the sauna, we were taken into another room with recliner chairs set up. Here, I was given my own robe, size stallion, and was set down at my own recliner. The two spa ponies returned and, with amazing quickness for a visually disgusting process, Aloe slathered a mess of greenish goo across Rarity’s face, while Lotus dabbed two spots delicately on Fluttershy’s cheeks. Both spa attendants then placed a pair of cucumber slices over Rarity’s eyes before coming over and doing the same for me.

“You know, I always did wonder what these were supposed to do,” I said, my eyes full of nothing but green and seeds.

“They work wonders on the eyes,” I heard Lotus say, “and reduce puffiness and unsightly bags.”

“Oh, is that it? Maybe I oughta use them instead of eat them more often.”

I heard the two ponies titter, and even heard giggling from Rarity and Fluttershy.

“Now, we’re going to move on to the massage portion,” I heard Aloe say. “Would you prefer a nice, easy one, or one more vigorous?”

My first massage, huh? Might as well take it slow.

“Nice and easy,” I said.

“Very well. Lotus, I shall attend to him while you attend to Miss Fluttershy. It seems both of them have the same tastes. Now, Mr. Dave, I’m going to ask you to lie on your stomach, if you please.”

I complied as best I could with my sight impeded, putting my chin on my arms, and the next thing I knew, I felt a pair of hooves dig against my back and side, pressing and moving in slow, easy circles. I’d seen people getting massages in the cartoons, letting out little yelps and moans of pleasure and contentment, and now I could feel just what made it so. It felt as if the muscles Aloe was rubbing had been wound up tight, like a spring, and her movements were unwinding them, loosening them, spreading a wonderful tingly feeling across my frame. I could feel myself becoming putty under her care.

“Ooh…Ohhhh…That spot’s been harassing me for ages…Aloe, you are a miracle worker…”

“Thank you, sir,” said Aloe, pleased. “We always strive for complete customer satisfaction.”

I don’t know how long the procedure went, and frankly, I didn’t want it to end anytime soon. I just lay there as she worked her Earth pony magic on my sore muscles. It was heavenly…

All too soon, she stopped her massage, but I felt immensely better, much looser, less stiff.

“Now, if you will follow me, sir, I shall direct you to the mud bath.”

“Easier said than done,” I said, as I felt around to make sure I got up the right way. 

Suddenly, the cucumbers disappeared from my eyes. Aloe had taken them gently in her teeth. 

“Ah. Thanks.”

With a nod of assent, she led the way past the reclining chairs, where I could see Fluttershy, eyes closed in bliss, as Lotus kneaded her muscles, while Rarity was being thumped vigorously along the back by the hooves of an intimidating-looking blonde masseuse.

I never did get how mud was supposed to be cleansing if it would just be getting you dirty, but I figured it must be some special mineral composition. I removed my robe and settled myself into the nearest tub, the mud within being surprisingly warm, until I was up to my neck. There, Aloe replaced the cucumbers onto my eyes, and I settled back, allowing the warm goo to envelop my newly-loosened self. This was turning out incredibly relaxing so far.

My repose was momentarily interrupted by an amused titter that I knew was Rarity’s.

“Looks like someone’s enjoying his first time,” she said.

“Immensely,” I replied, not moving from my spot.

“Wonderful, darling. I’m so glad I brought you along, then. Who knows what you might have missed out on?”

There was a splash, indicating that she had plunked down into the tub next to mine.

“I gotta say, Rarity,” I said, “I know this probably isn’t typical dirt mud, but I never expected you to want to be anywhere near something that even looked like mud.”

“Normally, you’d be right. It’s absolutely unladylike for a pony such as myself to stoop down to dirt-level and get my hooves besmirched. That’s more something of Applejack’s tastes, meaning no offense to her, of course.”

“Of course. Does she ever frequent the spa? With how hard she works, I bet she’d be in paradise to relax those apple-bucking muscles of hers.”

“I know! I told her the exact same thing, but she told me, plain and simple, that she wouldn’t be caught dead in here unless we were there with her. Can you imagine? In fact, I was only able to drag her here once when I was getting a hooficure with the girls, because I told her she didn’t have to take one, so she settled for a massage that I believe did her much good. Still, it’s a shame she can’t do more than that.”

“What about Rainbow Dash? She seems like a girl who would be all about attention to her physical health.”

“Oh, she’s even worse than Applejack,” said Rarity, in a pitying tone. “I got Applejack to come here for a massage, but Rainbow Dash told me she wouldn’t come within 10 feet of here unless she wanted to tell me something while I was in the middle of a session. I almost got her to get a hooficure too, but she complained about not wanting her hooves touched. Tch.”

“Guess you can’t win them all,” I said.

“I suppose not, but it doesn’t matter to me. Fluttershy is the best company I could ask for on our spa days.”

“Thank you, Rarity,” I heard Fluttershy say. “That’s very sweet of you.”

“And I mean it, darling.”

Although my view was obscured by the cucumbers, I couldn’t help but smile at hearing this compliment to the meek pegasus. Some of these ponies really did seem to have certain stronger bonds with each other, even though they were all unanimous friends. That was truly heartwarming to me.

A little while later, I felt the cucumbers removed from my eyes, and beheld Lotus looking down at me.

“How have you been enjoying yourself so far, sir?” she asked.

“Madam,” I said, “your spa has effectively wrung all the tired out of me like a sponge.”

“Wonderful!” said Lotus, gratified. “But it wouldn’t be a trip to the Ponyville spa without a dip in our famous hot tub. Shall we make that your final station in your visit?”

“We shall,” I said, with enthusiasm.

“Excellent! Let us get you rinsed off, then. Your friends shall join you shortly.”


***


I’d only been in a hot tub once or twice before, at hotels, but never a bona fide one like this. As soon as I settled into it, having rinsed off the mud bath, I felt as if I had dipped myself into a vat of heaven. The warm waters, the gentle bubbling, all of it seemed to wash away whatever weariness the other procedures hadn’t quite dug away from my body. There was even a flowery scent around it, as if some special oils or herbs had been mixed in.

Sure enough, disrobed, but with their manes still toweled, Fluttershy and Rarity joined me, with looks on their faces that told me they were experiencing much the same feeling.

“By the way, Rarity,” I said, “I meant to ask. If these swim trunks are any indication, are you still dabbling in human fashion?”

“Certainly! In fact, I’ve been working on something I’m sure you’ll love, especially since you have an upcoming appointment with Princess Celestia. I’d started it before Twilight even had the idea.”

“Huh? Oh! Right, I remember now. My head’s still a little fogged from last night, but are you sure you’re not overdoing things? I assume you have clients nearly every day.”

“Of course. Hardly a day goes by without a new dress here, a new suit there. Don’t fret about me, darling. I’ve pulled many a long night to get something done perfectly, and they’ve always paid off.”

“Just, promise me you won’t go overboard, for my sake? I’m very grateful that you’re taking the time and effort, but I don’t want you to risk your other important projects just for me.”

Rarity regarded me with a soft smile.

“Dave, you’re so considerate, and I really do appreciate your concern. You needn’t worry about me going ‘overboard’, but I do sincerely hope you’ll be pleased with what it comes to.”

“Anything from you, Rarity, is bound to be no less than magnificent.”

“Oh, you…”

I glanced at Fluttershy, who gave me a sweet smile, and the three of us settled back into the warm waters, all giving a unanimous sigh of contentment.


***


All too soon, our time at the spa was ended. After we’d dried off and I’d changed back into my clothes, the two ponies stopped at the counter to pay for our visit. I offered to chip in, but they declined the offer, saying it was their treat for me. I always felt embarrassed when I received such gifts or compliments, but had a thought that it was useless to persist in insisting. 

What did baffle me, however, was how Fluttershy was able to pay. As far as I knew, she didn’t have a major city job like the others (although I didn’t really know what Rainbow Dash did), and seemed to spend her days looking after the animals that frequented her cottage, like the gathering I’d seen when we first met. Maybe she ran other services on the side, like pet-sitting or grooming. I wouldn’t have been surprised if she had veterinary skills.

“Thank you very much,” said Lotus, “We’re always grateful for your patronage. See you again soon, ladies, and Mr. Dave?”

I looked up.

“Don’t be a stranger now.”

“Trust me, Lotus, I’ll be back one of these days. After today, how could I not come again?”

Lotus beamed. 

“Take care now.”

The three of us left the spa, the noonday sun beaming down pleasantly as we stepped out into the street.

“Thanks, girls. I feel like a new man. I feel like I could take on the world!”

I threw a few punches in the air as I said so, greatly enjoying the new limber feeling in my limbs. Rarity and Fluttershy giggled.

“Glad we could help, Dave,” said Fluttershy.

“We’ll certainly bring you along again one of these days,” said Rarity, “now that we know how much you enjoyed it.”

“That’s sweet of you, Rarity, but only if it doesn’t make too big a dent in your payment.”

“Oh, pish-posh. A good friend is always worth a few extra bits. Now, I hate to part, but I must return to the boutique. I’ve got a filly’s cutecenera dress to finish up before tomorrow, and the parents demanded plenty of beading. Ta, darlings!”

“Bye, Rarity!” Fluttershy and I both said at the same time, and the lovely unicorn trotted off toward Carousel Boutique.

“I should be off as well,” said Fluttershy, “that is, if you don’t mind being left to yourself.”

“It’s fine, Fluttershy. I’m giving Pinkie some breathing room today, so she can plan a visit to her family.”

“Her family? Goodness. I don’t remember her saying much about them except about the time she got her cutie mark.”

“Right: rock farmers that she taught how to smile. Normally, I’d be skeptical, but then again, it’s Pinkie Pie.”

Fluttershy nodded knowingly.

“Well, tell her I hope it all goes well,” she said. “Goodbye, Dave.”

“Bye, Fluttershy.”

With a flit of her wings, Fluttershy took off, flying low as she made for the general direction of her cottage. 

I was alone once more, but, after the session at the spa, I felt like I could do anything, if something would just throw itself at me. I imagined, with a half-smile, what my friends and family back home would think of me when they saw how much sprier and more energetic I was, after knowing me as one who preferred relaxing in my room all day. It was funny, but after a whole week, those days felt…strangely far gone. I hadn’t once felt a dependency for my phone or my computer or any of my video games. All of these wonderful ponies had helped stave off any of the electronic habits I’d had back in my world, habits that had turned me into an introverted hermit of sorts. I imagined I’d just swing back into it once I did return, but for the time being, it was nice to have this bit of a change-up. It made me feel, forgive me for sounding clichéd, fresh, renewed, reborn, clean-slated.

I felt…alive.

“Dave!”

My thoughts were interrupted by seeing Twilight galloping up toward me.

“Oh! Hi, Twi.”	

“You’re looking hale and hearty,” she said, stopping before me. “What’s the occasion?”

“I just finished a spa session with Rarity and Fluttershy. I feel wonderful.”

“Oh! That’s great! I’ll bet you’ll feel even more wonderful after this news!”

“News? What news?”

“I received a response from Princess Celestia this morning. She’d be really glad if we could see her in Canterlot this Saturday, to arrange your living conditions!”

“This Saturday? So soon?”

“I know! Isn’t that great?”

“Well, yeah, of course. I just didn’t expect it to come so soon. I just hope Pinkie doesn’t take us not being roommates any harder than necessary. We already had a talk about it last night, but I’m still a little worried.”

“Don’t be,” said Twilight, comfortingly, “Pinkie may act a little pouty about things like this, but deep down, all she can ever be is happy for you.”

“Thanks, Twi. I’d better warn her about this, though. She’s already planning for us to meet her folks one of these days.”

“Really??” asked Twilight, surprised. “I’ve never met Pinkie’s family before! It should prove an interesting visit.”

“Well, as a scheduling buff, you’ll understand how we can’t have two conflicting appointments.”

“Of course. She ought to know.”

“But, uh, could I ask a favor of you, Twi?”

“Sure!”

“Would you mind letting Rarity know? She said she had something in the works for me that your plan to have a meeting with Princess Celestia kinda gave a new purpose to.”

“Oh? Well, sure, I can do that. I was heading that way, anyway.”

“Great! See you, Twi!”

“Bye!”

And the two of us went our separate ways, one for the Boutique, one for Sugarcube Corner…
> The Running of the Leaves
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

When I came back to deliver the news, I found Pinkie still at her planning table, with complex drawings and notes written in incomprehensible jargon that looked like the scribbled notes of a doctor’s prescription. As she made these calculations, she paced up and down, her face scrunched up in deep thought. Honestly, I never expected a pony as silly as her to be capable of such mental acuteness.

When I told her the news, however, she immediately stopped and became attentive.

“This Saturday?”

“Yeah. Princess Celestia must be pretty eager to meet me and have this squared away.”

“Oh, that’s great! Super great! Wish I could go, but I can’t! Too much to do!”

“Oh. Well, if you don’t think you can make it, I’ll respect that. I just hope this meeting doesn’t disrupt anything.”

“Disrupt? Nah, don’t be a silly-billy! We’ll just plan for it after you come back, so we can all go! Now, let’s see…tomorrow’s the Running of the Leaves…you’ll be in Canterlot Saturday…if you’re lucky, you’ll be home in time for cider season…”

And now she was back in her planning state of mind.

“If I can finish my dress idea to give to Rarity, I’ll still have time to ask Applejack if she can whip up some of her baking and see if Rainbow Dash can pull off a Sonic Rainboom to announce us! That’d be super-de-duper! Maybe I can even get Fluttershy to orchestrate our arrival with her bird choir! Or Twilight could just teleport us in right at the entrance to the farm!” 

Suddenly, she stopped short, her eyes widening and a gasp escaping her lips. 

“Or we could do all of them at once!! A teleporting Sonic Rainboom backed by a bird choir! It’s genius!”

She bounced in place in an ecstasy of excitement, while I felt a sinking feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach at such an idea.

“Uh, Pinkie? Are you sure you’re not-”

“Can’t talk now, Davie! Busy!”

“But-”

“Busy!”

I could see that it was useless to try and interject. She was already lost in her own thoughts, but at least she knew about the appointment. It was a shame that she wouldn’t be able to come with me, but this was more important for her, and I had to respect that. I was, however, a little disconcerted at how far she was taking her plans. A teleporting Sonic Rainboom backed by a bird choir?? Now that would have been interesting to see, if I could wrap my mind around how it was possible…

“Do you at least want me to help, Pinkie?” I offered. 	

“No thanks! I’m good!”

“You sure?”

“Yeppy-deppy!”

“Well, all right, then. I’m just gonna go find something else to do. Just don’t overwork yourself, ok?”

“Okie-dokie-lokie!”

As I turned to go, I found myself facing Gummy. He cast one look at his owner, then back at me.

“You’re worried about her too, huh?”

Blink.

Bending down, I scratched under his chin.

“Don’t worry, fellah. This is just something she’s really got to do for her folks. I know she’s taking it super seriously, but come on. How crazy could it really get?”


***


Famous last words…At the time, I didn’t imagine the levels Pinkie would take her obsessive preparations, and honestly, I should have taken them more seriously.

Why didn’t I? Because of Pinkie herself.

This was her family, her estranged family. She finally had the chance to set things right with them in the way she knew best. Who was I to interfere with something that was her business and not mine? She had already done so much for me, and shortly, I wouldn’t even be living under the same roof with her anymore. I already owed so much to her for her kindness and friendship. What kind of selfish ingrate would I be to say ‘no’ to something that was all for her?

Some people might call me weak-willed for saying this, but I preferred to be thought of as being considerate for others’ feelings. How it irritates me that no one else ever thinks of that...

Pinkie spent all the rest of the day at her planning desk, writing down new ideas, crossing out ones that didn’t suit her desires, adding on to previous ideas. Her wastepaper bin was full to overflowing, and still she jotted down, crossed out, all with a feverish concentration I’d never seen in her before. The only time she ever stopped was when Mr. Cake came in to ask if she could help at the counter. She looked very reluctant to leave her post, but I offered to help out instead. Pinkie looked greatly relieved at being saved, and Mr. Cake seemed pleased with my offer to assist. I’m not quite sure whether or not it was wise to let Pinkie keep planning, but my main concern was of her happiness.

Back in my world, I had often volunteered as an outdoor greeter at my church, so I at least knew how to look presentably cheerful for incomers. Mr. Cake told me that all I had to do was greet the customer, listen to their order, and hand it out to them from behind the counter. The prices were all labeled facing me as well as the front. If a particular stock ran out, all I had to do was call for Mr. and Mrs. Cake, and they would replenish it.

For the rest of the day, my time was occupied with greeting ponies, with a smile and a ‘Welcome to Sugarcube Corner, and how may I help you?’, doling out fresh-baked pastries, and wishing them goodbye with a ‘Thank you and have a good day!’. Thankfully, it wasn’t a too busy day, so I wasn’t swamped to get orders done in a frenzy. What I can say, however, is that it made me really respect Pinkie’s integrity when it came to her job. You’d have to need a lot of energy to keep up on the busier days.

I saw a few of my pony friends from around town, who were both surprised and glad to see me. Golden Harvest, in fact, seemed to be in a much better mood than when I’d seen her last time. She apologized for being so coarse with me, and said that Lyra was a dear friend of hers. She had heard about our interview, and seemed to approve of someone who could get on her good side. She also admitted that she and Applejack weren’t that bad with each other, but were still rather competitive in the market. I was relieved to have averted her sporadic animosity, and gladly gave her a slice of carrot cake for 3 bits.

I was in full swing when who should come up to the counter but Twilight?

“Twilight! Welcome to Sugarcube Corner! How may I help you?”

Twilight giggled. “You’re as diligent as Shining Armor. Dave. I wasn’t expecting to find you behind the counter.”

“Pinkie’s busy planning for her folks, so I decided to take over for the day.”

“Oh. I hope she’s not making a mountain out of a molehill over this.”

“That might be an understatement, Twi.”

I gestured for her to lean closer, and I whispered in her ear about what I’d gathered from her plans, placing special emphasis on the ‘teleporting Sonic Rainboom’. 

Twilight’s face went slack with stupefaction.

“Is she out of her mind?!” she blurted. “Does she have any idea how much time that would take to perfect, if it could even be done at all!”

“Tell me about it. Applejack prepping some goods, I can understand, or Fluttershy giving us a nice welcome with her bird choir, or even a new outfit from Rarity, but that is just insane! She really wants this to go off with a hitch, and I respect that, but honestly, Twi…”

“Can’t you talk some sense into her? You’re her roommate until further notice.”

“I want to, but I don’t want to quash her excitement. She’s been looking forward to this, and I’m afraid of hurting her feelings by saying she can’t do any of this. What right do I have to intrude on her family affairs?”

Twilight gave a small sigh, which I worried was out of frustration, but she said,

“You sound just like Fluttershy. You only want to see those around you happy and don’t want to rain on their parade.”

“And…is that a good thing or a bad thing?”

“Well, while I wish you could be a little more assertive about this, it’s very sweet that you’re concerned about Pinkie’s feelings. You really care about her, don’t you?”

“Of course I do. If it hadn’t been for her, I’d never have gotten on my feet in Ponyville in the first place. I owe a lot to her, and denying her this chance would just seem like an act of ingratitude.”

“I see. I still think you could stand to sit down and talk to her, but you have your heart in the right place.”	

“Thanks, Twi. So, was there something you wanted?”

“Hmm? Oh! Yes. I just got back from seeing Rarity. I let her know about the situation, and she was actually quite excited. She said what she has in store for you will be ready by tonight, and she can show it to you tomorrow, after the Running of the Leaves.”

“Perfect!”

“Which coincides nicely with our travel plans. I expect for us to head out to Canterlot on Friday.”

“Friday? But my meeting with the Princess is Saturday.”

“I know, but I want to show you around Canterlot first. If we want to be back for cider season, we have to get as much done as we can before we head back.”

“Really? Well, being from Canterlot yourself, I’ll bet you’d give a grand tour, Miss Sparkle.”

Twilight smiled. “Thanks. I’d love to bring Spike and the girls along, but he’s still sick, and they might be busy with other things.”

“Well, why don’t we ask around, see who can make it and who can’t?”

“Sounds good! I’ll see you at the Running, then!”

“You bet! Where’s it at?”

“Swing by the library tomorrow and we’ll head there together.”

“Great!”

We bid each other adieu, and Twi left the line, allowing the mare behind her, who had been patiently waiting while the two of us discoursed, to step forward and place her order.


***


The Running of the Leaves, as I had been told, was an annual event to mark the autumn season, for ponies exclusively. It was a long, winding race through the countryside, contrived so that the stampeding of the runners would cause the autumn leaves to fall. Why and how it had to be done that way, I had absolutely no clue. If I went back home and, next autumn, told everyone in the neighborhood to just race past the trees to bring the leaves down, they would have asked what the heck I had been smoking.

That next morning, I left for Twilight’s alone. Pinkie had already left, waking me up to know she was heading off early. She said something about ‘catching the girls before the race began’. I imagined this meant she was going to ask about those things she had written plans about, and I grimly wondered what they would say when they heard.

Having met up with my unicorn friend, we headed off into the Ponyville countryside, where it was heavily wooded, long stretches of trees with red and orange leaves trailing along. These leaves really didn’t know how to fall by themselves? Equestrian nature was either very mysterious or very dense.

At the starting line (which also served as the finish line), we saw a big crowd of ponies gearing up to race, all wearing number tags on their flanks. I picked out many that I knew by sight: Lyra, Bon Bon, Golden Harvest, Caramel, Minuette, and most of the rest were ponies I’d seen but didn’t know more intimately, like a few stallions Pinkie had named when the first breakfast rush went by. Not surprising, I saw Applejack and Rainbow Dash among the racers, stretching their limbs. I had a feeling I’d see them taking part. However, to my surprise, I saw two more ponies I recognized among the runners: Derpy and Sparkler!

Yes, mother and daughter, side by side, wearing number tags. I never imagined Derpy to be athletically inclined, not that she looked out of shape or anything, but it was still funny to me to see her jogging in place beside her grown-up daughter, who was taking slow and easy stretches. Even more perplexing, I could swear that Screwball, the pony from the bowling alley, was there as well, but for the life of me, I couldn’t pick out why.

Twilight and I made our way to the crowd of spectators, where we found our pony friends who were not engaged in the race: Rarity, Fluttershy, and the four Crusaders. Pinkie was speaking to them, and the looks on their faces told me they were not particularly enjoying what they were hearing.

“Really, darling, I have so much that needs to be got done,” said Rarity. “I’m just not sure I can find time to squeeze in another request, especially one as elaborate as this.”

“Pleeeease, Rarity?” pleaded Pinkie. “I just thought, just this once, I could look nice when I first see my family again. Don’t you always say something about first impressions?”

Rarity’s expression softened. She seemed touched that Pinkie had remembered something she’d said.

“Yes. Yes, I did, Pinkie, you’re correct. I know this whole business is of vast importance to you, and you’re only trying to set things right. But really, dear, I just don’t know if I can find the time needed.”

“Please, Rarity? At least try? I won’t hate you if you can’t finish it, but at least try!”

There was that puppy-eyed pout of hers, being put to full use. Rarity sighed.

“Of course I’ll try, Pinkie, but I can’t make any promises. Understand?”

“Uh-huh! Thank you, Rarity!”

Pinkie enveloped the prim unicorn in a tight hug and bounced off. It looked like she had already spoken to Fluttershy before we’d arrived. Twilight and I glanced at each other. It appeared the same grim premonitions were running through both our minds.

At that moment, Dinky spotted us and squeaked,

“Hi, Dave! Hi, Miss Twilight!”

Fluttershy and Rarity jumped and whirled around to face us. The Crusaders beamed and waved.

“Hello, ladies,” I said. “I hope I’m not intruding on anything.”

“Oh, no, not at all!” said Rarity, flicking her silky mane with one hoof. “Just waiting for the race to start.”

“It’s a shame this is for ponies only. After that spa treatment yesterday, I feel like a well-oiled machine!”

“Oh, that’s wonderful!” said Fluttershy. “I could never take part myself. I’m not as athletic as Applejack or Rainbow Dash.”

“Well, in all seriousness, dear, who is?” asked Rarity. “Those two are unbeatable!”

“I had a feeling I’d see those two in the pack,” I said. “Have they done this before?”

“Certainly,” said Rarity. “It’s actually quite amusing. One year, those two were at each other’s throats to determine who was the best, and they turned the Running into an all-out war! They kept tripping each other up so much that they tied…for last place.”

I snorted with laughter.

“No way! Seriously?”

“Seriously,” said Rarity. “Why, they even lost to Twilight, who came in a very reasonable 5th place.”

I stared at Twilight, then at Applejack and Rainbow Dash. The idea that those two, who had fitness on the brains, lost to a librarian, made me burst into another fit of laughter.

“Attention, please! Attention!” came a voice from up above. Looking up, I saw the Mayor, aloft in a hot air balloon, speaking into a megaphone. “The Running of the Leaves is about to begin! Racers, to your positions!”

“Ooh! Ooh! It’s starting!” squealed Sweetie Belle, scrambling to climb into her sister’s back, while Twilight lowered herself to let Dinky climb on hers. With a buzz of her wings, Scootaloo managed to jettison herself onto Fluttershy’s back, in a way that reminded me of a grasshopper. Had she really made that much progress already, or was this something she already could have done?

Apple Bloom, meanwhile, was bouncing in place, trying to get a view. Since her sister was in the race, she had no familiar face to give her a better vantage point. She was at the point of giving up, with a disappointed look on her face, when I decided to fix that.

“C’mere, you,” I said, leaning down and scooping her up. I placed her, giggling from the sudden movement, onto my shoulders, where she settled comfortably behind my head. “All good up there?”

“Yup! Thanks, Dave!”

“Anything for a fellow Crusader.”

The three elder ponies smiled warmly at my actions.

“So, who are we banking on to win?” I asked.

“Applejack fer sure!” said Apple Bloom.

“No way!” said Scootaloo. “Rainbow Dash is the fastest ever!”

“In the air, maybe,” said Sweetie Belle, “but I’m with Apple Bloom. Applejack’s an Earth pony. She’s more suited to running.”

“Well said, Sweetie Belle,” said Rarity.

“Oh, I don’t know,” said Fluttershy. “Rainbow Dash has always been fast in the air and on the ground. B-But, Applejack has a fair chance, too,” she added, meekly.

“How about you, Twi?” I asked.

“Honestly, I’ll be glad if they don’t tie for last again,” she said.

“And what do you think, Dinky?”

“Well…you know what would be great?”

“What?”

“If everypony won!” she squeaked, throwing her fore hooves up into the air.

God bless this little filly, she was just too adorable.

“Racers!” called the Mayor. “On your marks…”

The racers got into positional crouches at the starting line, all with faces set with concentration.

“Get set…GO!”

With a thunder of hooves, the crowd of ponies cavalcaded past the starting line and down the path. As they went, I could already see a cascade of autumn leaves plummeting to the ground, stripping the trees bare.

“Wow,” I muttered. “Either those trees are weak, or there’s some frightening power in pony hooves…”

“Did you say something, Dave?” asked Twilight.

“Nothing,” I said. Apple Bloom was swaying on her perch, shouting excitedly,

“C’mon, Applejack! We’re rootin’ fer ya!”

“Easy, kiddo,” I urged, “don’t sway around like that. I can only hold onto you if you keep still.”

“Huh? Oh! Sorry, Dave. Ah got a little excited.”

“Don’t sweat it. I’m pretty interested in seeing how this goes as well.”

Unfortunately, from our spot, we couldn’t see which pony was in the lead, but the Mayor was giving a play-by-play as she floated by in the balloon, the only determinant for the racers’ positions was the falling leaves.

“And it’s Applejack and Rainbow Dash right out the gate, closely followed by Golden Harvest and Lyra Heartstrings! But wait, what’s this? Unbelievable! Sparkler Hooves soars toward the front of the pack! She’s neck and neck with the front runners!”	

“YAY! Go, Sparkly!!” squealed Dinky, waving her little forelegs as she sat on Twilight’s back. Twilight smiled at her antics.

“My, oh, my, this is shaping up to be an unusual race!” went on the Mayor. “Not only is Screwball running backwards, but Lyra Heartstrings appears to be running on her hind hooves! Who could have seen this coming?”

“On her hind hooves??” said Twilight, stupefied. Then she groaned and slapped a hoof to her brow. “Her human craze setting in again…”

“Aw, come on, Twi, it’s harmless,” I assured her. “Besides, I think it’s hilarious! Not as weird as Screwball running backwards, but still pretty funny.”

“I guess you would think that,” muttered Twilight, with a grin nonetheless.

“So, Rarity,” I said, turning to the dressmaker, “Twilight tells me you had something you wanted to show me.”

“Mm? Oh! Yes, of course, dear! It’s a good thing Twilight told me you would be leaving for Canterlot tomorrow, or I might have held off until it was too late.”

“Canterlot?” asked Sweetie Belle. “What are you going to Canterlot for?”

“I have a meeting with Princess Celestia,” I explained. “Since it looks like I’ll be here for a while, I’m gonna need my own place to stay. Twilight is arranging for the princess to help me with that.”

“You get to meet Princess Celestia?!” asked Scootaloo. “Man, I’m so jealous! We only got to see her up close once, at the royal wedding!”

“You kids could come with, if you want. Twilight’s taking me up tomorrow for a tour.”

“We can’t,” said Apple Bloom. “We’ve got school tomorrow.”

“Ohh, right. Sorry.”

“Don’t fret about it, darling,” said Rarity. “The streets of Canterlot are no place for little fillies to roam.”

“Aww, but we’d behave ourselves, Rarity,” protested Sweetie Belle.

“Wouldn’t you girls want to come with, anyway?” I asked, addressing Rarity and Fluttershy. “We’d love the company, right, Twi?”

“Absolutely!”

“Oh, I wish I could, dear, but I’ve got so much to do,” said Rarity, regretfully. “With autumn upon us, Nightmare Night will be around the corner, and I’ll have to prepare for the inflow of costume requests and revisions. Besides that, I have a sapphire-encrusted dress to finish and ship for an upcoming ball in Baltimare.”

“Oh, I see. I really hope making clothes for me hasn’t put you behind schedule…”

“No, no, not a bit of it. You needn’t worry about me. I’m used to completing one job after another. It’s almost a necessity when you’re in the dressmaking profession.”

“I’ll take your word for it.”

“But besides that, Pinkie wants me to make her a new dress to wear when we meet her family. The thing is, I’m not sure what would be appropriate: something that fits Pinkie, or something that would fit the Pie family. She didn’t leave me with much information.”

“Hmm…Well, I’m sure you’ll come up with something. It’s not like you have a set deadline.”

“Very true. Besides, I can always ask Pinkie, if I can ever find her. She bounced off before I could ask anything else of her.”

“And how about you, Fluttershy?”

“A visit to Canterlot would be wonderful, but I’m afraid I won’t be able to make it. After the Running, that’s when I start getting the critters ready for hibernation, and it’s also when I help direct the birds in flying south for the winter.”

“Oh, I see. Sounds like a huge responsibility.”

“It’s nothing for Fluttershy,” said Scootaloo. “She’s awesome with animals!”

Fluttershy’s cheeks turned pink from the compliment.

“So that’s Pinkie, Rarity, and Fluttershy who won’t be able to make it,” I said, counting off on my fingers. “AJ will probably have to stay here to get cider season ready…Wonder if Rainbow Dash wouldn’t mind coming with, unless she’s been busy training you, Scootaloo,” I added, addressing the little pegasus.

“She has, but she says I’m making really good progress!”

“That so?”

“Yeah! Wanna see?”

“I’d love to.”

“Ok. Hold out your hands.”

Somewhat bewildered by this request, I nonetheless complied. Scootaloo crouched from her position on Fluttershy’s back, wings buzzing, and with a sudden bound, she launched herself forward. Flapping her wings furiously, she managed to cover the distance between the two of us, having achieved an altitude on level with my chin, and managed to hover smoothly down into my open hands. She beamed proudly up at me as I held her, but the weight of holding Apple Bloom on my shoulders and Scootaloo in my hands was too much. I toppled backward onto my rear, though Apple Bloom kept a good grip around my neck to keep from falling off.

“Goodness! Are you all right?” asked Fluttershy.

“Just fine, Fluttershy,” I answered, then said to the little pegasus, “Scootaloo, that was great! I haven’t seen what your flying used to be, but I’ll bet that was huge progress!”

“Thanks, Dave. It’s all thanks to you.”

“Me? Aw, come on, I can’t even fly.”

“But you hooked me up with a new family. Now Rainbow Dash and I are seeing each other a lot more often, and I’ve got you to thank for that.”

“Oh, well, you’re welcome, kiddo,” I said, tousling her mane with one hand. These kids really were growing on me. “So, you wouldn’t mind if Rainbow agreed to go with us?”

“Nah. In fact, I’m gonna surprise her by working extra hard at what she’s taught me so far! When she gets back, I’m gonna rock her socks off with how much progress I’ve made!”

“Good spirit, Scoot, even though nopony around here even wears socks.”

Ponies in socks…what a weird concept to picture.

“We’re at the halfway point, mares and stallions!” called the Mayor from up above. “The runners are now approaching scenic Whitetail Wood, and you should see them coming up to the finish line any minute now! At this moment, it’s still Applejack and Rainbow Dash jockeying for position, with Sparkler Hooves and Lyra Heartstrings fighting for 3rd! Miss Heartstrings is still going strong on those hind hooves! This could be one for the record books, everypony!”

I set Scootaloo back on Fluttershy’s back and scanned the countryside. The falling leaves were now further ahead and moving leftward, coming ever closer to our position. At last, even the shaking of the ground proved to be a testament to their approach. We could just see a cloud of dust on the horizon, accented by a swirling cloud of autumn leaves. For a moment, it looked like Applejack and Rainbow Dash had fallen behind. At the front of the pack, I could see Sparkler and Lyra, the latter sprinting forward on two legs with surprising ease. Close behind was the rump of Screwball, visible from that angle because, as the Mayor had said, she was running backwards. How and why, I wish I knew…

And then it happened. As if someone had pressed fast forward on a DVD, Applejack and Rainbow Dash charged ahead, bowling past their competition and streaking toward the goal, neck and neck.

“Come on, Applejack!” squealed Apple Bloom, swaying atop my shoulders.

“Come on, Rainbow Dash!” shouted Scootaloo, bouncing on Fluttershy’s back, causing the gentle pegasus to grimace from discomfort, but not a word came from her mouth.

They were mere inches away, hooves pounding the ground until they were almost a blur, and before I could collect my senses, both were over the line, swift as ghosts, but even then, I could almost swear that barely, just barely, Applejack pulled out ahead. 

The Mayor seemed to have sensed this as well, as I heard her announce,

“And by a nose, the winner is none other than…APPLEJACK!!”

“WHOO!!!” yelled Apple Bloom, gesticulating so wildly that she tumbled forward over my head and into my hands.

“Easy there, cowgirl,” I said, with a laugh, as I turned her right side up. “Don’t wanna hurt yourself.”

I set her down, and she sprinted right for her big sister, tackling her to the ground.

“Ya did it, Applejack! Ya won!”

“Aw, shucks, Apple Bloom,” chuckled AJ, ruffling her sister’s mane, “it was a close one. RD nearly got me.”

She looked up at Rainbow Dash, who, to my relief but puzzlement, didn’t look that put out at having lost.

“I was totally not expecting you to pull something like that,” she said. “I thought I was the only one who thought of pacing myself, like Twilight did last time.”

“Guess you were mistaken there, fly-gal,” said Applejack, getting up. “Good race, though.”

“Definitely!” said the blue speedster, holding out her hoof. 

Applejack’s bumped it with an audible clack.

“What do ya say we have a rematch?” asked Applejack. “After cider season cools down.”

“That’d be sweet! You’re on!”

Meanwhile, we were joined by Sparkler, Derpy, and Lyra, who looked out of breath, but satisfied.

“You were great, Mama, Sparkler!” said Dinky, throwing herself between them in as big a hug as her little forelegs could muster. 

Smiling warmly, Derpy leaned her head down to nuzzle her as Sparkler patted her head. I, for my part, turned to Lyra.

“That was some impressive leg work, Lyra,” I said.

“Thanks! I’ve been waiting all year to do that! Doesn’t even matter that I didn’t win.”

“I hope it didn’t hurt or anything.”

“Nah, not at all! The key’s to just keep moving. Otherwise, you’re gonna fall. Honestly, though, it’s a shame I’ve gotta go back to four hooves.”

“Ah, well. Say, Lyra?”

“Hmm?”

“Twilight and I are heading up to Canterlot to arrange a place for me to stay here in Ponyville. She’s gonna show me around tomorrow, so I wondered if you might be interested.”

“Sounds fun! I don’t think I’d go, though. I’m still not quite over the whole Changeling horror from the wedding…”

“Was it that bad?”

“That bad? That bad?? I was a zombie, Dave! A! Zom! Bie!”

She emphasized each syllable of this last phrase with a poke to my chest with her hoof.

“I hope not in the literal sense.”

“Of course not, but you get the idea.”

“I…think I do.”

No, I really didn’t.

“I’m sure you’ll have a great time, though! Canterlot’s real upper-class! It’s got a lot of great shops, and hey, Twilight and I called it home! That’s gotta be a testament of how great it is!”

I laughed. “No doubt.”

At that moment, Applejack and Rainbow Dash came up to our little circle, wearing first and second place medals, respectively.

“You two were unbelievable!” I said. “That last burst at the end? I could hardly follow you!”

“Well, they don’t call me ‘Dash’ for nothin’,” said Rainbow, smugly.

“They don’t call ya modest, either,” said Applejack, earning herself a dirty look from the pegasus.

“Actually, I wanted to ask you something. Well, more Rainbow Dash, really.”

“Huh?”

“Twilight’s taking me up to Canterlot tomorrow to show me around, before I meet with Princess Celestia on Saturday. I wanted to see if either of you wanted to come with, but I sort of guessed you’d be busy with getting cider season ready, Applejack.”

“Yup. Much as Ah’d love to come with ya, Ah can’t neglect cider season.”

“I completely understand. That just leaves you, Rainbow.”

“Sure! I’ll come with you guys! Been a while since I’ve been up in Canterlot. In fact, I heard they just opened a new Wonderbolt gift shop! I am so taking you there!”

She flapped up to me, putting a foreleg about my shoulders.

“I want you to share in the awesomeness that they spread wherever they soar!”

“Sounds great! Definitely don’t wanna miss that.”

“Then that’s settled,” said Twilight. “Meet us at the train station for the 9 o’clock train, Rainbow Dash.”

“9 o’clock? No prob! And AJ?”

“Yeah?”

“You better save some cider for us when we get back!” said Rainbow, sternly, pointing a hoof in the farm mare’s face. “I’m not missing out on another cider season!”

“All right, all right,” said Applejack, rolling her eyes and nudging Rainbow’s hoof away. “Ah’ll save a whole barrelful for y’all.”

“Great! Well, later, guys!”

And she zoomed off, leaving a rainbow contrail behind her.

“Well, now that the race is settled,” said Rarity, “shall we mosey on down to the Boutique? It’s time Dave saw what I made for him.”

“I’m all anticipation, milady,” I said, with a civil bow.

“Then follow me, my good sir,” said Rarity, imitating my chivalrous tone, and she trotted on ahead, the rest of us close behind.


***


As soon as Rarity had lead us inside the Boutique, she shut the door behind her and drew the curtains. It was obvious that what she was about to unveil was extravagant, making me once more wonder to how much trouble she had gone to get it done.

“Now, Dave, stand on that pedestal, if you would,” said Rarity, pointing to the one she had had me stand on so my measurements could be taken. I complied.

“Now, girls,” she said, turning to the group of friends that had accompanied us (and by that, I mean Twilight, Applejack, Fluttershy, Derpy, Sparkler, Lyra, and the Crusaders), “As only Twilight and Rainbow Dash shall be accompanying Dave, I thought it only fair to allow you to see what I had made especially for him. May I present to you…the Young Aristocrat ensemble!”

Her horn instantly flared up with a shining blue light, and I caught a mere glimpse of some articles of clothes before they began swirling around me like a tornado. My whole body began to glow with the same light, but I couldn’t feel anything happen. I wasn’t quite sure what to think of it, but I didn’t have the voice to scream out loud at this sudden development.

Then, all in an instant, there was a burst of light, and this time, I did feel something: a new kind of pressure on my body, as if I were clothed in something I wasn’t used to, especially along my upper arms, since I’d been wearing short-sleeved shirts ever since I arrived. There was also something in my hand, like a stick or staff. 

The light subsided, and everypony present but Rarity gasped, eyes widened.

“Come, darling,” said Rarity, “step down and take a look at yourself in the mirror.”

I stepped down and approached the mirror…but stopped short.

Was that…me?

It couldn’t have been.

But it was.

I was dressed in a black suit and pants, complete with a white undershirt and a red tie. A blue sapphire decorated the breast pocket. That wasn’t all, however. Tied about my shoulders was a black cape, the inside a rich red, and on top of my head was an honest-to-goodness top hat, with a red-golden feather in the hatband. In my hand was a long cane of black wood topped with an emerald, and my hands were even gloved.

Nopony spoke for quite some time, and even I found myself at a loss for words. Then, Applejack said,

“Mah stars…Ah’ve never seen anything like it!”

“This is…” stammered Twilight, “I mean…Rarity…Wow!”

“Do you like it, Dave?” asked Rarity, hopefully.

“Like it?” I finally managed to say. “Rarity, words can’t even begin to describe this. This is unbelievable!”

“But do you like it?”

“Like it? I love it! I’ve always wanted to try something like this!” I held the end of my cape out at arm’s length. “I’ve always wanted to wear a real cape, and a real top hat! And even hold a real cane! All the times I’ve seen it on TV and in the movies, and I only had a dim idea of what it must be like! And now…now I just don’t know what to say! My mind’s whirring!”

Rarity’s pretty face was aglow with delight.

“What do you all think?” I asked, facing my pony audience.

“You look amazing!” said Sweetie Belle.

“Like a real gentleman!” said Lyra.

“I hardly recognize you!” said Derpy.

“Princess Celestia’s going to love it!” said Fluttershy.

“Rarity,” I said, turning to the unicorn, “this is a kingly gift. I just don’t know how I can accept it-”

“Nonsense,” said Rarity, gently, putting her hoof on my hand. “I knew you would meet the princess sooner or later, and I had this secretly in the works after I first got interested in human clothing. I fear I may have to take a break from it, as, I do hope you’ll forgive me for saying, I don’t wish for it to set me back too far.”

“Forgive you? Rarity, that was my chief hope, that I wouldn’t cause too much detriment to your own work. I was grateful when you first offered to make me a new suit of clothes, but now…now, I’m in your debt.”

I got down on one knee, took her hoof in my hand, and kissed it. Rarity beamed warmly and leaned her head in to give me a nuzzle.

“You’re well worth the trouble, darling,” she said. “May it serve you well in Canterlot.”

“I don’t doubt that,” I said, once more looking over my finery. “If Canterlot’s the home of the throne, I’ll be sure to blend in.” 

My hand strayed to the feather on my hat. It felt…oddly warm. 

“What kind of feather is this, by the way?”

“Ah! That is my pride and joy,” said Rarity, proudly. “A genuine phoenix feather.”

“A phoenix feather?? No way…”

“Way, I say,” said Rarity, with a giggle.

“Wow. I wonder how Pinkie’s gonna flip when she sees me in this.”

Just then, the door bell tinkled.

“Rarity! I’m so super-duper sorry, but I forgot to-”

The voice ended in a long, drawn-out gasp, and there was no mistaking its owner.

Pinkie had just barged into the boutique, and her face had gone slack at the scene before her.

“Davie? Is that you?”

“It is, my dear Pinkie,” I said, straightening up. “This is what I’ll be wearing when I meet the princess. Do you like it?”

“Like it? I love it!” squealed Pinkie, rushing over. “Look at you! You look so spiffy! That hat! That cape! That cane! You’re gonna really wow Princess Celestia!”

“I hope so. It’s still a shame you don’t think you can come. It would have been tons of fun to have you with us.”

“Aww, Davie, that’s sweet of you,” said Pinkie, “but I still have so much to get ready if I wanna get this right.” She leaned her head to look behind me. “Oh, goodie! Applejack’s here too! Two cupcakes on one plate!”

“Huh? Two cupcakes on one…Never mind. Anyway, Pinkie, whatever you wanted to ask Rainbow Dash, make sure you do it today. She’s planning to come with Twilight and me to Canterlot.”

“Really?? Thanks for warning me, Davie. It might have been too late!”

“Girls, I hate to be a bother,” said Rarity, “but would you mind if Applejack and I had some privacy with Pinkie Pie? It seems this is something that can’t wait.”

“But of course,” I said, giving my new hat a twitch. Then, all of a sudden, a new idea came over me. “Hey, Rarity? What happened to the clothes I was wearing?”

“They’re right here, darling,” she said, levitating them over in a neat pile. 

“Thanks,” I said, tucking them under my arm. “We’ll be departing for Canterlot at 9 in the morning, if you want to see us off.”

“Wouldn’t miss it!” said Derpy.

“Have a good rest of the day, then, ladies.”

I decided to put my costume into full practice, and I gave them a sweeping bow, taking my hat off in the process. A chorus of giggles and titters was the welcome reception, and all of us went our separate ways as Rarity shut the door behind us, Pinkie already engaged in a conversation with Applejack.
> Off to Canterlot
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wow.

Just…just wow.

When I arrived at the Ponyville train station early that next morning, accompanied by Pinkie, I guess I didn’t really know what to expect. What was I supposed to expect? But when I saw one of the trains pull up, on its way to Manehattan, as the schedule said, I felt myself cringe. 

It was a steam locomotive, sure, and I did like antiquity over modernity sometimes, but…something about it just didn’t sit right. It was bright pink, with a huge heart for its front cabin window, and even had a heart inside its front lamp. The carriages were brightly colored, so I suppose if it was a train used for a circus, I’d find it excusable. But no! It was an express train, one of many of the same configuration, it seemed. 

This was absurd! This train belonged on an electric toy track or in a little girl’s bedroom! I could understand fillies and mares admiring its colorful lovey-dovey-ness, but how could a colt, stallion, or in my case, man, ride this thing with any hope of keeping his dignity intact?…

So the two of us sat, waiting for Twilight and the others to arrive. A pair of saddlebags sat beside me, borrowed from Pinkie, to keep my clothes and toiletries in. My hat and cane wouldn’t fit, so I kept those in my lap, half because I didn’t want to ruin the phoenix feather on the hat by cramming it into a bag. I also had my train ticket in my pocket. Pinkie merely sat beside me without a word.

Come to think of it, she hadn’t really said much since yesterday. She came home mid-afternoon, while I was playing with Gummy. I’d asked her how her day went, and she merely said, “Ok”. She wasn’t grumpy or moody, but quiet. She had given me a small smile, but with a sigh, it turned to a look of faint disappointment. There had been a clang, and I saw a crumpled paper ball land into the wastepaper basket.

That told me all I needed to know. Pinkie had gone over her plans with her friends, and none of them had been encouraging about them. It was exactly what I had wanted to avoid by not getting involved, but it looked like the worst had already been done. I wanted to say something then, but I just didn’t have the words. She stayed quiet the rest of the night, probably trying to think of something else, so I let her be.

Finally, I couldn’t stand it anymore. I ventured to speak,

“Pinkie?”

She said nothing.

“I know you’re upset about yesterday, and I’m really sorry. I know how important this was to you, and I think you were really creative with some of the stuff you came up with. Maybe it just wasn’t the time, though.”

She glanced up at me.

“Come on,” I said, in a comforting voice, “you’ll bounce back from this. You’re Pinkie Pie. This was just a minor setback. Use that to plan something easier, but equally special. Your family will still love it, because it came from you.”

I put my arm around her, hoping that would help. To my relief, it did the trick. Pinkie finally allowed herself a smile and nestled against me.

“You’re right, Davie,” she said. “I was being a silly frowny moody-pants. Maybe I did go a little coco-loco when I was writing those ideas up. But you’re right. I’m gonna rethink them while you’re gone, now that I know what not to do.”

“That’s my girl,” I said, giving her a squeeze. She giggled and rested her cheek against mine. It always felt good to have her back after these brief mood spells.

I glanced at my watch. It was nearing 8:45. I glanced out back toward Ponyville, and could see a collection of dots moving toward us on the horizon.

“Here comes the sendoff,” I told Pinkie.

“Already?” she asked. “Well, I guess I’d better go, then.”

“Go? Don’t you want to stick with me before I leave?” I asked, slightly hurt.

“I’d rather get started right away.”

“Pinkie, I’m sure-”

“Have a good trip, ok?” she asked, putting her forelegs around me in a hug. There was real sincerity in her voice as she said this, which was some comfort. “I’m sure Princess Celestia’s gonna really like you.”

“Still wish you could come with,” I said, patting the back of her mane. “Take care, Pinkie.”

“Bye.”

Pinkie let go and trotted away in the opposite direction from the others. A few minutes later, Twilight and Rainbow Dash arrived, followed by Rarity, Fluttershy, Applejack, Derpy, Sparkler, Lyra, and the Crusaders. The first two were wearing saddlebags of their own.

“Morning, girls,” I greeted.

“Morning!” said Twilight. “What are you doing here all by yourself? I thought Pinkie would have waited with you.”

“She was with me for a while, but decided to head off. She said she was going to be busy and had to get a start on it.”

“Oh…I was hoping to talk to her. Actually, all five of us were.”

As she said this, Rainbow, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Applejack stepped up beside her, all looking rather embarrassed or contrite.

“Was she mad at us?” asked Fluttershy. “I wouldn’t have minded arranging a bird choir, but I have to get them ready for migration to the south. Most of my good singers are part of the migration.”

“And Ah sure as hay wouldn’t have minded whipping up some vittles to bring with us,” said Applejack. “Ah was pleased as a worm in a tomater patch when she considered me, but with cider season, it might take some time to get something prepared.”

“Pinkie did come to me with a more detailed idea of her dress,” said Rarity, “but I’m still not sure I could manage it with everything else I have to get done.”

“And a teleporting Sonic Rainboom?” asked Rainbow Dash. “Don’t get me wrong, that sounds awesome, but I can’t just pull off a Rainboom like that.” She emphasized ‘that’ with a flick of her tail. “Twilight would have to have insane timing to get me there just as I’m about to pull it off.”

“Insane timing that just can’t exist,” said Twilight.

“Well,” I said, reluctantly, “I’m not gonna sugarcoat it: she was a little disappointed about her planning being punctured. It’s exactly what I was trying to prevent by not getting involved.”

“Oh no…” moaned Fluttershy, ears flattening.

“Don’t worry, she doesn’t hate any of you for it. She’s just a little upset that what she wants to pull off can’t be done so easily, and it’s probably mingling with the anxiety of seeing her folks again after such a long estrangement. Hopefully, she’ll understand that she needs to tone it down a bit.”

“Hopefully,” said Twilight.

There was a shrill whistle blast, and down the tracks, I could see a locomotive approaching.

“Is that it?” I asked.

“Yep,” said Twilight, “that’s the train for Canterlot.”

“I will say this: whoever designed these trains knew how to make them…noticeable.”

This earned a round of giggles from my female companions, and the train pulled up. A gray Earth pony stallion dressed like a conductor, with a black beard and mutton-chop sideburns stepped out of the front car, the other compartment doors opening after he had exited, and a stream of passengers exiting.

“Ponyville station stop!” he called. “Watch your step leaving the train! Next station stop will be Canterlot, departing in 10 minutes!”

“Guess that’s us,” I said, turning to Twilight and Rainbow. Putting my hat on my head, I took the strap of the saddlebags in my free hand, hauling it with me as the three of us approached the train, the others following.

“Have a wonderful time, Dave!” said Rarity. “You’ll love it in Canterlot!”

“Safe travels,” said Fluttershy.

“See ya back for cider season, big guy!” said Applejack.

“Show Princess Celestia what humans are really made of!” said Lyra.

“Good luck!” said Sparkler.

“Watch out for snooty ponies!” said Derpy.

“Cutie Mark Crusader Ambassador! Yay!” chorused Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo.

“Bring lots of cool stories about your visit back with you!” said Dinky.

“I’ll certainly try to make you all proud,” I said. “Here’s hoping. Take care, and keep an eye on Pinkie.”

“We will,” said Rarity.

“Say, Derpy,” said Rainbow Dash, looking furtively around and motioning for her to come closer.

“Yeah, Dash?” asked the mail mare, stepping forward.

“Do you think you and the girls can keep an eye on Tank for me?” she asked, in a hushed voice that I could just barely make out. “Just make sure he’s fed and that he gets out for his daily fly-bys. I don’t want the little guy slacking.”

“Of course, Dash. We’ll keep an eye on him,” said Derpy, with a smile.

“Awesome. I knew I could depend on ya,” said Rainbow, gratefully. She then said, in a louder voice, to Scootaloo, “And Scoot?”

“Yeah?”

“Keep up on your wing training. You can be sure I’m gonna quiz ya when I get back.”

“You got it!” said Scootaloo, buzzing her wings.

“All aboard!” called the conductor.

“Well, let’s get going,” said Twilight. “See you in a few days, girls.”

“See ya, gals!” said Rainbow. “And don’t forget about that barrel of cider, Applejack. I mean it.”

Amid a chorus of goodbyes, we approached the conductor and handed him our tickets. He looked up as I stepped up, most likely never having catered to a creature of my size or appearance before.

“First time on the express?” he asked.

“Yes, sir.”

“Well, I hope you enjoy the trip.”

“Thank you very much.”

Twilight led the way into an empty car, where we put our bags on the luggage rack and sat down, Twilight sitting across from Rainbow and me, the two of us sharing a seat.

A few minutes later, there was another blast on the whistle, and the conductor called,

“Next stop, Canterlot!”

With a jerk, the train started forward, picking up speed as it began to leave the platform. Out the window, I saw our group of friends galloping to keep alongside, and we waved to them as we soon left the platform and began speeding along toward Canterlot.

“So, how long does the trip usually last?” I asked Twilight.

“In good weather, roughly 3 hours.”

I gave a low whistle.

“It’ll pass in a flash, though,” said Rainbow. “Know why?”

“Why?”

“Cuz I brought something I think you’re gonna really like.”

With a flap of her wings, she floated up to the luggage rack, nosed around in one of her saddlebags, and pulled out a thick book with her teeth, floating back down beside me and placing it in my hands. The cover depicted a yellowish pegasus mare with a black and gray mane and tail oddly resembling Rainbow Dash’s cut. In fact, even the eyes were the same shade of rose-pink. She was dressed in a green khaki shirt and a pith helmet, and had a cutie mark resembling a compass. She was holding onto a jungle vine with one hoof, and clutched in her other hoof was a blue statue, resembling a two-headed jackal. She was hanging over a body of water full of alligators. The title read, as I said it aloud,

“‘Daring Do and the Quest for the Sapphire Stone’…I remember seeing that title back when I visited the library.”

“Good choice, Dash!” said Twilight. “Dave says he’s an avid reader, and he’ll absolutely love the Daring Do series!”

“My thoughts exactly, Twi,” said Rainbow.

“It’s the first book in the series,” Twilight told me, “but not the first chronologically. Daring’s first adventure in the series’ continuity is actually in Daring Do and the Basilisk’s Eye, told through a really great flashback sequence as Daring’s life flashes before her eyes! Oh, I could go on for hours about it!”

“Well, save it for another time, Twilight,” said Rainbow, flatly. “Here, Dave, dive on in!”

“I most certainly will!” I said, and, opening the book, began to read.


***


Fascinating…utterly fascinating!

This book was undeniably, unquestionably, un-put-down-able!

Every paragraph, heck, nearly every sentence gave the reader a sense of suspense or danger. Whoever wrote this really knew how to keep readers on their toes.

In the book, Daring Do, intrepid explorer and treasure collector (AKA, Not-Indiana Jones), had crash-landed in a tropical, sweltering jungle, injuring her wing in the process. After a narrow-escape from savage jungle cats, she finally reached an ancient temple she had sought for, said to be the resting place of the legendary Sapphire Stone, colloquially known as the Sapphire Statue. Of course, the place was loaded with traps, including ceiling alligators, making me wonder why ancient tribes went to such ridiculous lengths to protect their stuff. Being not only dexterous but brilliant, however, Daring managed to evade these dangers and claim the statue as her own, before being blasted out of the temple by a lava trap. Unfortunately, her victory was short-lived, as she was captured by the monstrous but charismatic Ahuizotl, who was the master of those jungle cats Daring evaded at the start. So there it was: Daring was at the mercy of Ahuizotl and his army of ferocious felines, when-

The train’s whistle jarred me out of my reading stupor. Looking out the window, I saw that we were winding our way up a mountain, and there, up ahead, was the city of Canterlot.

From the outside, the entire city was an assortment of white towers and spires, all in a very medieval, Renaissance fashion. I was irresistibly reminded of Minas Tirith.

“Whoa…”

“Isn’t it amazing?” asked Twilight, who had come up to my side.

“Amazing doesn’t even begin to describe it…It’s like every royal city I’ve ever heard of put together into one! You used to live here?”

“Yep! Born and raised in Canterlot, under Princess Celestia’s patronage.”

“Incredible…”

“Eh, it’s pretty cool,” said Rainbow, dismissively, “but it’s got nothing on Cloudsdale. We’ve gotta find a way to get you up there one of these days, Dave.”

“All in good time, Rainbow,” said Twilight.

“So, Dave, what do you think of the book so far?” asked Rainbow.

“What do I think?” I replied, turning back to her. “It’s unbelievable! I’ve read some pretty hair-raising stuff in my time, but this book packs it on like a feast to the senses! I haven’t even finished reading through it yet.” Then, I added, in a tone of surprised realization, “Has it been three hours already?”

“Time really flies when you read,” said Twilight, smiling.

“Well, wherever we’re staying in Canterlot, I’m gonna use my time there to finish this book!”

“That’s what I wanna hear!” said Rainbow, clapping me on the back.

The train gave a sudden jolt, the wheels outside screeching as the train pulled to a stop outside the train station. We heard the conductor call,

“Canterlot, folks! Station stop, Canterlot! Watch your step leaving the train!”

“Well, that’s us,” said Twilight, levitating the bags down from the rack. Rainbow stuffed the book into mine.

“Rainbow, that’s-”

“I know. Just so you don’t gotta ask for it when you wanna read it.”

“Aww, thanks.”

“No prob. Now, you ready?”

“More than ready!” I said, picking up my bags. “Lead the way, ladies!”

And, with Twilight leading, the three of us walked out of the train and onto the platform.


***


How do I begin to describe it? 

Canterlot was sophistication personified. Every building was austere, clean, and new in appearance. It really was the kind of place where you’d have to wear a fancy suit just to step out into the main street. Thankfully, I had my hat and cane, and still had my suit in one of my bags.

If the buildings were fancy, that was nothing on the ponies. Back in Ponyville, nearly every pony went around without clothes. Fair enough. Up here, however, I didn’t see a single pony who wasn’t wearing some article of clothing: top hats, dresses, fancy saddles, tuxedos, monocles, pince-nez, etc.. As I said, I was a great admirer of antiquity, and always loved past styles of clothing or technology. It was a passing thought, but it would have been pretty cool if Rarity had made a hidden sword in my cane, not for excessive use, but just as a means of cautious protection against the unsavory. To me, swords were a lot better than guns; elegant, swift, made for prolonged and heated combat, not as clumsy or random as a pistol. But I digress.

As we walked along, as was to be expected, my presence turned a lot of heads. I was with my hat and cane, sure, but I was still wearing normal street clothes besides, so I must have presented a very bizarre combination, like John’s top hat and umbrella ensemble in Peter Pan. Some openly gawked with gaping jaws, while I picked up some mutters from others.

“Can you imagine?”

“The very idea!”

“Would you look at him?”

“If you ask me, animals should be kept on a leash at all times.”

Of all the nerve...! If I wasn't so eager to avoid confrontation, I'd have given them a piece of my mind. But if I was mad, Rainbow Dash seemed angrier.

“They’re making fun of him, Twi,” I heard her hiss in an annoyed singsong.

“Easy, Rainbow,” Twilight whispered back. “They’re just not used to humans.”

“Well, they’d still better back off, if they know what’s good for them.”

“It’s just until we can settle in and drop off our bags.”

“Where are we staying, anyway?” I asked.

“That’s the best part!” said Twilight, with a gleam in her eye. “When I received the confirmation of our visit with the princess, she allowed royal suites for our disposal.”

“Royal suites?? You mean we’ll actually be staying in the castle?”

“Yep!”

“And does she know Rainbow Dash is with us?”

“She said she would be prepared in the event of having travel companions.”

“Ah, good.”

“Well, it better be an awesome suite, then,” said Rainbow, puffing her chest out. “As awesome as I am!”

“I’m sure the Princess won’t disappoint you, Rainbow,” said Twilight, with an amused shake of the head.

Sure enough, Twilight’s steps were leading us right to the gates of the castle, a mass of spire-topped towers, all a gleaming white that seemed to shine like marble in the sun. The highest tower, especially, seemed a perfect spot to govern the rising and setting of the sun or the moon, as it looked like it could overlook the whole horizon of Equestria. I was tense for the chance I would have to finally meet this Princess Celestia. 

As we approached, I also became aware of the guards. Everywhere I looked as we came toward the structure, there were white and gray stallions, all of which seemed to have been made in the same mold. They were buff, stoic, calm-eyed, and silent, wearing golden armor and Roman helmets. Besides their coat colors, the only thing that distinguished them were the fact that there were Earth ponies, pegasi, and unicorns among them.

“Wow,” I said to Twilight. “The princess really has one heck of a security team.”

“The finest soldiers in Equestria,” said Twilight. “I don’t want to brag, but that’s partly thanks to the leadership of Shining Armor.”

“Oh, that’s right! He was a Captain, wasn’t he?”

“Yep!”

“Where is he now, though?”

“I’m not sure, actually,” said Twilight, thoughtfully. “The last time I saw him was when he and Cadence left on their honeymoon. He’s written plenty of times, sure, but they seem to be all over the place.”

“Probably seeing the world?” I asked.

“That’s reasonable, I suppose. I still wish I knew where they’d settled permanently. I’d love for you to meet them.”

“Any family of yours, Twilight, must be a joy to get to know,” I said.

I saw her smile warmly up at me.

“Do you always know how to flatter ponies?” asked Rainbow, slyly.

“I have no idea what you’re implying,” I replied, rather embarrassed. “I’ve just always strived to be polite with whoever I speak to. Is it my fault if what I say is taken another way?”

“Aw, relax, dude, I’m only teasing,” said Rainbow.

“I should hope you were,” I muttered.

We approached the front gate, where two pegasus guards stood. All of a sudden, their wings sprang out to block the way, as swiftly as if they had been activated by a switch, and I could have sworn they made a sound like unsheathing swords. I felt my heart jump when it happened.

“Halt!” said one.

“Who goes there?” asked the other.

“Good afternoon, sirs,” said Twilight, approaching. “We’re here on a special request from Princess Celestia.”

“Miss Sparkle, Miss Dash,” said one of the guards, civilly. “Forgive us. We did not notice you at first.”

“The giant interrupted our view,” said the other.

(Giant? Oh, for Pete’s sake…)

“He’s with us,” said Twilight. “He has a meeting with Her Highness tomorrow, but we wished to stop in and leave our bags at our suites.”

I thought it only polite to doff my hat to them, smiling in a placating way.

“Very well,” said one of the guards. “Passage granted.”

They ‘sheathed’ their wings, allowing us to pass.

“‘Giant’,” I grumbled. “Of all the nerve…”

“Well, you are pretty tall,” said Rainbow.

“I’m barely the same size as Big Macintosh!”

“Yeah, which is giant by pony standards,” said Rainbow.

“…Touche.”

Twilight led us into the main foyer, a grand hall with rich wall tapestries and a red carpet with a sun symbol emblazoned where it diverged into separate tracks leading into other chambers. A staircase led further on, leading onto a pair of stained glass windows depicting the day and night skies. A pony was already striding up and down this landing, who brightened up as we approached.

I felt my heart jump in my chest as I recognized this pony.

It was Princess Luna!

“Princess Luna!” exclaimed Twilight, sharing my surprise. She bowed low to the ground, Rainbow Dash doing the same. I hastened to do as they did.

“Twilight Sparkle,” said Luna, smiling. “It is always good to see you, but please, you may call me Luna. And greetings to you too, Rainbow Dash.”

Her eyes then fell on me.

“Ah, so it is you again, Sir Dave. You’re looking well.”

“It’s good to see you in the physical world, Your Highness,” I said, though I wasn’t sure why she included ‘sir’. I wasn’t exactly a knight.

“You’ve met before?” asked Rainbow Dash.

“In a sense,” said Luna. “I stumbled across him as he was having a particularly bad nightmare, and I helped to alleviate his terror.”

“An action I’m still grateful for, Princess,” I said, humbly.

“Wow…” muttered Rainbow. “Princess Luna can do that?”

“Of course,” said Twilight. “It’s part of her duties as princess of the night.”

“Oh…”

For some reason, Rainbow looked rather uncomfortable or embarrassed. It made me wonder if, perhaps, she had some dreams that Luna had stepped into, the contents of which should never be spoken out loud unless you wanted your chest run through with a battering ram. I wouldn’t put it past Rainbow to be that desperate to protect her pride.

Luna, for her part, didn’t seem to notice this, and said,

“Celestia has asked me to guide you to your suites. I hope you do not mind, but she was able to save a single room for you, Twilight, but Rainbow Dash and Sir Dave will have to share a room.”

Rainbow Dash and I looked at each other, neither of us expecting to hear this. I was fine with having to share a room with Pinkie, but with another girl?…Then again, Rainbow did have a more boyish attitude. Maybe it wouldn’t be so embarrassing.

“Does that suit you?” asked Luna.

“Only if it suits Rainbow,” I said.

“Fine with me,” said Rainbow, with an indifferent shrug. “As long as he doesn’t snore.”

Oh boy. I’d been told back home that I snored, but that was only from outside observation. How do you really know if you snore if you’re unable to know yourself?

“Guess we’ll see,” I said, giving Rainbow as best of a placating smile as I could. To my relief, she returned it with a friendly smirk.

“Splendid,” said Luna. “Now, follow me, please.”

Luna led the way up one of the two staircases leading to the other hallways, and I and my two companions followed. I moved a little quicker to walk beside Luna, while Twilight and Rainbow seemed to be having a hushed conversation with each other.

“May I be so bold as to ask you a few things, Your Majesty?” I asked Luna.

“Certainly,” said Luna.

“If you’re the Princess of the Night, does that mean you sleep during the day?”

“During the afternoon, yes. When my sister sets the sun, she sends for me to raise the moon and stars. It is not such a bad system.”

“Cool. And, what’s she like, your sister? I hope to make a good impression when I see her tomorrow.”

“Oh, I believe you shall,” said Luna. “Celestia is one of the kindest of ponies, fair and just. I have never known her to make a wrong decision, even if it was banishing me while Nightmare Moon poisoned my senses.”

The way she said this struck me. It wasn’t completely off-hand, but it didn’t sound steeped with regret, either. It sounded as if all was forgiven in that affair.

“Take, for example, her tutoring of young Twilight,” she went on. “She’s had her eye on her ever since she was a filly, and she has proven her every conviction correct.”

“Wow…She sounds really wise.”

“She is. Even Star Swirl the Bearded, one of the wisest of unicorns, seemed a bit foalish when compared to Celestia. If I may say so, at the rate she is going, Twilight Sparkle shall catch up to her one day.”

“Heh, is that so?” I asked, glancing back at the unicorn. Twilight looked up, curious to know what we were speaking about, but I turned back to Luna.

“Twilight really is remarkable,” I said.

“I agree. If not for her, I know not where we’d all be...Now may I ask you something?”

“Of course, Princess.”

“How are you finding your stay in Equestria? I would have thought you would be beset with anxiety for your loved ones at home, yet you seem hale and hearty.”

“Well, I really have Twilight and her friends to thank for that. I will admit that, without them by my side, I would most likely have gone mad with grief at being stranded in another world. I do still greatly miss my folks back home, but with Twi and friends, I have hope for someday getting back. Equestria is full of wonderful ponies, Your Majesty.”

“You are very kind to say so,” said Luna, “though I do feel for you in your plight. To be suddenly seized away from your home into an unfamiliar land…I can sympathize.”

By this point, Luna had stopped outside a beautifully-carved wooden door. She flared up the glow of her horn onto the doorknob, and it swung open onto a richly-furnished circular room. I could see a door leading to a bathroom, a window leading onto a balcony, and two four-poster beds, laid with fresh sheets and pillows.

“What do you think?” Luna asked.

“Very posh,” I breathed, stepping in and looking about. “Now, this is what I call royal comfort.”

“Make yourselves at home, dear guests,” the princess went on, as Rainbow stepped in as well. “Twilight, if you will follow me, your suite is not much further on.”

Luna and Twilight exited the chamber, the former shutting the door as she did so. Rainbow Dash stretched like a cat, yawning rather obnoxiously as I faintly heard the crack of her joints, and she flopped unceremoniously onto one of the beds.

“Did ya want this one?” she asked. “Sorry, I kinda already claimed it.”

“Nah, that’s fine,” I said, unable to keep from smiling at her behavior. “I’ll just take this other one.”

I set my saddlebags down and carefully placed my hat and cane down on a nearby chair before sitting on the bed. The mattress yielded instantly, with the softness of a marshmallow.

“Are clouds this soft?” I asked Rainbow.

“Softer, but this is pretty close,” she answered. “I tell you, bud, nothing ever beats sleeping on a cloud. One of these days, I’ll find a way to show you, cuz you are seriously missing out.”

“I bet I am,” I said, kicking my shoes off and lying down fully on the bed. 3 hours was pretty tame for a train ride, but I still felt tired. “I almost don’t wanna have to get up, even if Twilight is gonna show me around Canterlot.”

“I know the feeling,” said Rainbow. “It’s like waking up on a weekend. You just don’t wanna get out of bed, but you gotta if you want breakfast.”

As soon as she said this, there came a loud growl from her vicinity. She sat up and put a hoof to her belly.

“Speaking of which, I’m getting hungry. As soon as Twi rounds us up, I’m making her grab us some lunch.”

“What’s eating and shopping like here?” I asked.

“Pretty ritzy. Lot of fancy stuff, but Canterlot’s the kind of place that has everything you’d want, except for less snooty ponies.”

“Are they that bad?”

“Eh, some are all right, but too many have a stick or two up their flanks.”

“Eesh…”

“Exactly.”

A few minutes later, the doors swung open again, and Twilight appeared, looking bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.

“No time for sleeping, you two!” she said. “Our tour of Canterlot starts now!”

“With lunch,” interjected Rainbow, leaving the bed with a flit of her wings.

“Of course with lunch,” said Twilight, with a roll of the eyes. “Coming, Dave?”

“On my way!” I called, doing my best to try and escape the heavenly softness of the bed. It sure as heck wasn’t easy, but finally, I managed to tear myself away, put my shoes back on, grabbed my hat and cane, and followed the two ponies out the door, all at once eager to see the rest of this royal capital.

> An Inside Tour of Canterlot
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Twilight took us to a quaint outdoor restaurant overlooking the main street. I settled for a big bowl of tomato soup with basil, with extra bread. Somehow, wearing my big, fancy top hat gave me a heightened sense in my need to eat in a refined and mannerly way. I took careful sips, occasionally dunking my bread in the soup before biting into it. Twilight ate similarly, but Rainbow Dash didn’t possess as many scruples. Honestly, the way she ate her flower sandwich, it was almost like Pinkie Pie had come with us. I was painfully conscious of several posh ponies looking at us, most likely from Rainbow’s loud eating, though I’m still sure I stuck out like a sore thumb, so really, it could have been either of us.

“Rainbow?” I muttered. “Don’t you think you ought to ease up? Ponies are staring.”

“Ffo wuh?” said Rainbow, her mouth full of flower petals and bread. Twilight and I shared a look of disgust with each other. Rainbow swallowed. “Just cuz I’m in Canterlot, doesn’t mean I gotta act all snooty and uptight. We’re here to unwind while you have your meeting with the princess.”

“That’s still no excuse to behave like that in public,” chided Twilight. “Honestly, Rainbow, you’re behaving like Pinkie Pie.”

“Exactly what I was thinking,” I said.

“Aww, sheesh, don’t tell me you guys are gonna gang up on me,” groaned Rainbow. She sighed. “Fine, I’ll ease up. Just trying to have a little fun, is all…”

“Fun’s fun, Rainbow,” said Twilight, “but there’s a difference between having fun and just being obnoxious.”

Rainbow blew a raspberry. “Obnoxious? Me? Good one, Twi.”

She thought she was kidding?…

“Pardon me, my good fellow.”

I looked up. Standing by our table was a tall unicorn stallion, white with a neatly combed blue mane and a thin moustache. He wore a fancy black tuxedo jacket as well as a monocle.

I cleared my throat. “Yes, sir? I hope we weren’t disturbing you.”

“Not at all,” said the unicorn. “I was merely passing by when I spotted you. I don’t believe I’ve ever seen someone quite like you around here. What do you call yourself?”

“Oh! Well, I’m a human, sir.”

“A human?...Most intriguing. I’m not entirely familiar with the lore of your species, understand, so I do hope you’ll forgive my skepticism.”

“Of course.”

“It wasn’t just that, however. I couldn’t put my hoof on it, but I felt as if I’d met your companions before. And as I came over, that’s when it hit me. You must be acquainted with Miss Rarity, are you not?”

This guy knew Rarity?

“Why, yes. Are you a friend of hers?”

“Certainly. She was quite the lively attendee of several Canterlot social functions. I’d even go so far as to say the city fits her like a glove.”

“Heh, yeah, I can see that.”

“In any case, during the Canterlot Garden Party, I had the distinct fortune of being introduced to her charming friends, two of which I see seated next to you.”

“Ah! You two know this gentleman?” I asked, looking at Twilight and Rainbow.

“I do recognize you!” said Twilight. “You’re the stallion who complimented my birthday dress!”

“And you are the spirited young mare who livened up the dance floor,” said the stallion, chuckling. He turned to Rainbow. “And, if I recall correctly, you’re the young lady who created quite a scene at the croquet game.”

“That’s me!” said Rainbow, proudly.

“You play croquet?” I asked the pegasus, in surprise.

“Sure!…Just, not very well,” she added, with an embarrassed grin.

“Any friend of Miss Rarity’s is welcome in my book,” the stallion went on. “My name is Fancypants. I don’t wish to brag, but I’m something of a VIP in Canterlot.”

“A VIP? As in ‘Very Important Pony’?” I ventured.

“Ah! You’re a sharp lad!” said Fancypants. “Now, what do you call yourself?”

“Dave, sir.”

“Dave…Very good. As I said, I’m not sure if Canterlot has seen many, if any, humans in the past, but if it has, I hope they had as much sense of fine fashion as you do.”

“Huh?”

I looked up at my hat.

“Oh, this? It’s part of a gift from Rarity, actually.”

“I should have known!” said Fancypants, jovially. “Something about that hat of yours suggested something of Miss Rarity to me. Must have been the phoenix feather. Regrettably, none of the Canterlot boutiques use phoenix feathers in their designs. I daresay a good fiery feather adds a certain flair, don’t you agree?”

“Uh…yes, sir.”

“Splendid. Well, I’ll let you return to your meal. It was pleasant meeting you, dear boy, and lovely to see you young ladies again. Cheerio!”

And Fancypants took himself off, allowing me the chance to see his cutie mark: three gold crowns.

“Wow. He’s a really nice guy,” I said.

“Rarity has a lot of good to say about Fancypants,” said Twilight. “He’s one of her closest contacts outside of Ponyville. She says his opinion is like law within Canterlot.”

“Yeah!” said Rainbow. “So if he likes you, everypony else is bound to, cuz no one disagrees with Fancypants!”

“Wow. Sounds like he has a lot of influence. Maybe Canterlot’s going to be a lot more interesting than I imagined.”

“Just you wait, Dave,” said Twilight, as I resumed my soup. “We’re only just starting.”


***


Indeed we were. As soon as we had finished eating and had paid for our meal, Twilight took the two of us around the royal city, pointing out nearly every store and establishment as if it were a historic landmark. She knew Canterlot like the back of her hoof, having wandered its streets even as a little filly, often under the supervision of her foalsitter, Cadence. That, and, she admitted, she also studied a city planning guide while going back and forth from the library. Probably what I would have done.

Over yonder, for example, was Mareshall Field and Co., an internationally-renowned department store. Beyond that was Le Roche’s, a boutique like Rarity’s, though it didn’t possess quite the same friendly charm that my unicorn friend’s establishment did. Past that was Primp and Trim ( a mane-stylist’s), the Cantante Cavallo opera house, Knicks & Knacks (an antique shop), the Leoneighdo art gallery, the Celestia Royal Theater, and so, so much more.

And the restaurants? Hoo boy! That little café that we ate at, Caesar’s, was only the beginning. There was the Diamond Trough, Chateau Chevalin, Little Romero’s Neightalian, the Gilded Horseshoe…the list could just go on and on…

What Twilight was most proud of, however, was a building just off of Canterlot Park, which appeared to be connected to the castle. According to her, this place housed the Canterlot Archives, a collection of ancient scrolls and documents by the most learned and prestigious minds in Equestrian history. Star Swirl the Bearded apparently had a whole wing dedicated to his spell work, which amounted to over 200 spells. I had to say, it was kind of cute how Twilight’s eyes would light up every time she mentioned Star Swirl the Bearded. Something told me she was a little fan girl-ish over this guy.

Rainbow, however, was impatient for Twilight to finish her spiel, as she had a specific place in mind for me. As soon as Twilight had finished gushing over the many spells Star Swirl had created, which included time spells, transfiguration, duplication, and age spells, the sporty pegasus dragged us off to a building that would have been impossible to miss, with its bright blue coloring with yellow accents, marked above the door with an emblem resembling a winged lightning bolt. The sign read ‘Wonderbolt Memorabilia’.

“Ahh, yes,” I said. “You said this place had just opened.”

I looked at Rainbow Dash, who had the most gleeful smile on her face, as if it was her birthday.

“Can we go in, Twi?” she asked, like a kid in front of a toy store. “Can we-can we-can we?”

“Of course, Rainbow,” said Twilight, amused. “This is your special treat for this trip.”

“Yes! Come on, Dave!”

Without further ado, she dragged me inside, through the electronic doors.

The inside was decorated much the same as the outside, the same color and motif plastered all over, and was crammed with other ponies. There were racks of flying suits, T-shirts, caps, goggles, every wearable imaginable suited for fan-basing something internationally popular. There were also coffee mugs, snow globes, ornaments, plastic and porcelain figurines, even plush toys. One corner was dedicated to things to spruce up the home Wonderbolt-style: rugs, bed sheets, pillows, bathmats, and, of course, posters. Some were group shots of the team, while others showcased some individually. Rainbow Dash pointed out two of these for me to pay especial attention to.

“Every Wonderbolt is a valuable asset to the whole crew,” she told me, “but these two make everything possible. I want their images burned in your memory until the day you die, Dave.”

“…Very grim, but all right.”

“That right there is Soarin,” she went on, pointing out a pegasus stallion, bluish white with a dark blue mane and tail. “He’s one of the highest-ranking members, and for good reason. But the one on top of it all is that mare right there.”

The one she pointed out was yellow with a fiery orange mane and tail.

“Spitfire,” she said, reverently. “The Captain of the Wonderbolts. An inspiration to young fliers everywhere!”

“She certainly has the ‘fire’ part of her name down pat,” I remarked.

Rainbow didn’t seem to hear me. She was gazing around her at the scads and scads of Wonderbolt merchandise she was surrounded in. I looked at Twilight, who was looking very amused at Rainbow’s filly-like behavior.

“Boy, Rainbow,” I said, “you really admire these ponies, don’t you?”

“Admire them?” asked Rainbow, looking at me. “It’s only been my lifelong dream to be one of them! The only dream I’ve had second to that is chugging an entire barrel of cider without throwing up! Tell me that’s not going for the gold, I dare you!”

“Oh, no, no, that’s definitely going for the gold. The thing is, have you ever even applied?”

“It’s not that easy,” said Rainbow. “You have to pass the Wonderbolt Academy before you can even be considered.”

“Wow. Sounds rigorous.”

“Only the best fliers ever join.”

“And aren’t you the best?” I asked, with a smile.

“Of course I am! Just you wait. They’ll ask me to join on the first day!”

“Oh, definitely.”

“Are you two just going to obsess over posters, or did you plan on buying something?” asked Twilight.

“I’d buy the whole store if I could,” said Rainbow, dreamily. Then, she said, in a more business-like tone, “Come on, Dave, let’s pick you out something. Maybe a poster for your new house, when you get it, or a Wonderbolt T-Shirt!”

In the end, I ended up with a big team poster of the Wonderbolts and a T-Shirt with the Wonderbolt insignia on the chest, all costing 20 bits. Rainbow paid for her own pile of trinkets, and we left the shop with the pegasus sporting bulging bags slung across her back.

“Thanks for bringing me, Rainbow,” I said. “I’m gonna need to check out these Wonderbolts for myself one of these days.”

“Well, when one of their air shows pops up, I’ll definitely try to bring you! They perform for grounded audiences, so it’ll be perfect!”

“Sweet!”

I glanced at my watch, and was surprised to find that it was already past 5.

“Whoa, is it nearly sundown already?” I asked. “No wonder my feet are killing me. We’ve been out and about all afternoon. But it was definitely worth it!” I added, hastily, to Twilight.

“Don’t worry, Dave, I get it,” said Twilight. “Let’s go grab some dinner and head back to our suites. You’ve got a big day tomorrow.”

“Boy, do I,” I muttered. “Walking about nearly made me forget I have a meeting with royalty.”

“Relax, you’re going to be fine,” said Twilight. “Celestia will really like you.”

“I hope so…”

“Come on, guys, let’s quit talking and get walking!” said Rainbow, a little snappishly. “These bags aren’t getting any lighter, you know!”

“Well, whose fault is that for splurging?” asked Twilight.

“It’s my bits to use as I want!” retorted Rainbow, as we set off back down the street.


***


After dinner, we returned to the castle to go back to our suites. Twilight wished us a warm ‘good night’ as we left her to her own room. Rainbow Dash plopped her bags next to her bed and flopped down onto it, nursing her stomach with one hoof.

“I can’t believe I ate the whole thing,” she groaned.

“No kidding,” I said, taking my shoes off. “I had my doubts when you ordered a whole garlic and calla lily pizza for yourself. You should have stuck to the cheese lasagna, like me.”

“They never tell ya how big they make them,” she retorted. “It’s their fault!”

“Of course, Rainbow, of course,” I said, humoring her.

I grabbed my bedclothes and toiletries, went into the bathroom, changed and brushed my teeth. Then, finally able to sink down onto the soft mattress, I plucked out the Daring Do book from one of my bags and set to reading where I’d left off.

Daring had been taken into another tribal chamber, roped to a stone slab by Ahuizotl. A flip of a lever, and the crooked villain left the pegasus to her doom. Now, spiked walls closing in were bad enough, but apparently this jack-wagon wanted to go all out. The spikes on the walls were crawling with spiders, cobras started slithering out of the mouth of a tribal statue, and to make matter worse, quicksand began filling up the place. Daring was well and truly doomed…

Or was she?

The section detailing her imprisonment as all these dangers surrounded her was quite lengthy and astonishingly descriptive, but it also remembered to detail the fact that the young Miss Do had a mind like a steel trap. Luckily, she had managed to knock her hat off onto her stomach. Without further thought, out of desperation, she stretched it taught with her teeth from her hoof, and let it fly, resulting in a series of precise ricochets that would have made Basil of Baker Street envious. Just as it looked like Daring was going to drown in the sand, her hat knocked the lever back up, reversing the trap and freeing her. To her, it was just another day and another dungeon. God, that was cool.

Ahuizotl, meanwhile, was one smug snake (er, dog-ape-thing). He was confident in having done in Daring, and she was no longer in his way to stop him. While he ranted on how awesome he was, Daring swept past and snagged the Sapphire Stone right out of the hand he had on his tail (yeah, he has one of those. Figure that out, Darwin), bidding him a mocking farewell and leaving him to curse her name and bemoan his loss. With the Sapphire Stone recovered, the world was safe once again, thanks to Daring Do…

“Isn’t it great?”

I jumped, startled. Rainbow Dash had floated right up beside me as I was reading, and was grinning at me.

“Yeah, it really is,” I said. “Very gripping and action-packed. I can’t wait to see what comes after.”

“Oh, you’ll love it! Daring Do and the Griffin’s Goblet! Easily one of the best of the series.”

“Is that something you say about every installment?” I asked, wryly.

“Maaaaybe,” said Rainbow, teasingly.

“Well, I think that’s enough for tonight,” I said, putting the book away. “I. Am. Beat.”

“You and me both, big guy,” said Rainbow, stretching and yawning.

“Listen,” I added, in a humbler tone, “thanks for coming along. I certainly didn’t want to come alone, and Twilight’s great company, but it would have been great to have everypony else with me. You would have made this really fun, and so far, you have. I know I sounded disgusted about your eating at lunch, but to be honest, I wanted to laugh. You’re on par with Pinkie in making me smile.”

Rainbow’s face split into a warm grin.

“Thanks, bud. You’re a real softie, you know that? But you’re all right. You’re gonna do good tomorrow.”

She threw a foreleg around my shoulders and pressed her cheek against mine.

“Sleep tight, big guy.”

“Good night, Rainbow.”

She flew back to her bed and nestled under the covers, both of us turning out the lights on our sides. With the moon providing the only luminescence in the room, I soon sank into a deep slumber, dreaming about Wonderbolts…
> A Meeting with Her Majesty
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

When I opened my eyes, I couldn’t see any of the ceiling above me. In fact, I couldn’t see much at all. Everything was shrouded in vague blueness. I began to panic

“What the-? What’s going on? I can’t see! Twilight! Rainbow! I think I’m blind!”

My panic was met with raspy, cracked laughter that I recognized as Rainbow’s. How dare she laugh at me when I might be well and truly blind! Then, all of a sudden, everything became clear again. The blue shroud flitted away like a drawn curtain. Befuddled, I looked about me, and my eyes met the widely grinning face of Rainbow Dash, who had settled beside me atop the covers.

“Morning, sleepyhead!” she greeted, as if nothing had happened.

“Rainbow? What was…”

I stopped, because my eyes fell on her wing. It was half-folded.

In a flash, the pieces fit together in my mind.

“Rainbow Dash…” I said, sternly, “were you covering my eyes with your wing?”

“What makes you say that?” asked Rainbow, innocently.

Oh, so that was the game she was gonna play, was it? Fine. I could play along. 

“Funny thing, actually,” I said, in a calm, nonchalant voice. “I woke up thinking I was blind, but that’s not entirely true. I did see something.”

“And what was that?”

“That whatever was blocking my eyes…was blue. Just like a certain someone I know.”

Rainbow said nothing, but continued to smile at me in a would-be innocent way.

“And you wanna know what else?” I went on, walking the fingers of my hand along the bed towards her. “Now that I reckon back, I think I could feel something on my face, too. Now, you could argue that it was a face mask for sleeping, but I wasn’t wearing one, now was I?”

She still said nothing, obviously relishing in the game.

“It was…soft, warm…feathery, you might say,” I said, my finger stopping at the tip of her wing.

“Why, Dave, whatever are you implying?” asked Rainbow, innocently.

“Implying? Why would I need to be implying anything, my dear Rainbow? I’m merely trying to-SWEET SASSY MOLASSEY! IS THAT A HIPPOGRIFF?!”

I shouted this out so suddenly, pointing sharply to the window, that Rainbow jumped and turned her head sharply round to look.

(Gotcha!)

In an instant, I pinned her to the bed and began a furious tickle assault on her, along her side and stomach. She burst into a fit of wild giggles in that crackly voice of hers, making it all the more funny and cute to listen to.

“C-Cut it out! That tickles!” she gasped out.

“You’re not fooling me, Rainbow!” I said. “I know it was you, so I wanna hear you fess up, and maybe I’ll let up on you!”

“O-Ok! Ok! I did it! It was just a joke! Just sto-ho-ho-hop!” she cried.

I removed my hold on her, and she lay there, panting and still giggling.

“In all seriousness,” I said, “I have to admit, you really got me.”

“Heh, thanks,” said Rainbow, having finally calmed down. “Not my best, but it’s a classic. You really got me, too, but I’ve got a couple criticisms.”

“And those are?”

“The ‘look over there’ trick is so last century. I could have seen it coming a mile away if you hadn’t shouted that in the middle of talking, so I’ll give you props for that. Also, tickling’s fine enough after a trick like that, but you should change it up a bit.”

“It’s really the only retaliation I know,” I admitted. “I don’t really like getting too violent.”

“And I’m not saying you have to,” said Rainbow. “Just, mix it up. Keep your victims guessing. And one more thing. ‘Sweet sassy molassey’? Really?…”

“It was the first thing that popped into my head, for some reason,” I said, sheepishly.

At that moment, there was a knock at the door.

“Who is it?” I called.

“Twilight,” came Twilight’s voice. “May I come in?”

“Of course.”

The doorknob glowed briefly, and Twilight appeared in the opened doorway.

“What in Equestria was all the noise coming from in here?” she asked.

“Oh, just a little pranking tit for tat,” I replied.

“Huh?”

“Rainbow pulled a fast one on me, so I did likewise. We were just goofing around, right, Rainbow?”

“Totally,” agreed my pegasus pal.

“Well, I’m glad that’s all that was about,” said Twilight. “From the sound of it, it was like Rainbow Dash was being tortured in here. In any case, you’d better get ready. I spoke with Princess Luna last night, and she said Princess Celestia will be expecting you at 10.”

“10? As in 10 AM?”

“Of course.”

“And right now it’s…”

I grabbed my watch and looked at it. The readout read 9!

“Aw, crud! I’ve gotta get ready!”

I jumped out of bed, went through my saddlebags and dug out my new clothes, still neatly folded.

“Would you two mind leaving the room until I’m done?” I asked, heading for the bathroom.

“Not at all. Come on, Rainbow,” said Twilight.

Rainbow jumped off the bed and followed Twilight, who shut the door behind them.

“I wish Twilight had warned me earlier,” I grumbled, closing the bathroom door behind me. “I hate feeling like I don’t have time to prepare. Then again,” I added, shedding off my pajamas, “I never did think about asking at what time this meeting would be. Hindsight, you always strike so cruelly…”

My initial stress had ebbed away by the time I was in the shower, taking care to scrub extra well, since I was meeting with royalty, after all. After that, I gave my teeth a vigorous brushing, cleaned my glasses, put on my fancy new duds, and carefully arranged my hair neatly with gel and a comb, as if I were getting ready for a wedding or something. I looked myself over in the mirror and said, with a slight grin,

“I wonder if this is how Fred Astaire felt before he went on stage.”

With that, I slipped on my gloves, put on my top hat, grabbed my cane, and exited the bathroom, heading straight for the suite door. I rapped at it gently with the cane, and Twilight opened it once again with her magic. She smiled upon seeing me in my attire, while Rainbow’s jaw dropped. She’d only seen me in my hat and cane, never in my full ensemble.

“How do I look?” I asked.

“Very handsome,” said Twilight.

“Wow…Dude, you look amazing!” said Rainbow. “Rarity made that for you?”

“She sure did. Hopefully now she can take a little break from human fashion. I don’t want her going overboard and putting herself behind schedule because of me.”

“Rainbow,” said Twilight, “if it’s all the same to you, I think I’d better come with Dave myself, seeing as how Princess Celestia is my mentor.”

“I gotcha,” said Rainbow. “I’m gonna go bum around Canterlot until you guys are done.”

“Going back to the Wonderbolt shop?” asked Twilight, wryly.

“And what if I was?” asked Rainbow, defensively.

“Easy, easy,” said Twilight, laughing slightly. “I’m just ruffling your feathers. You ready, Dave?”

“More than ready,” I said.

“Good luck, big guy!” said Rainbow.

“Thanks.”

With that, Twilight led the way down the hall, and I followed close behind, my heart thudding madly behind my ribs. It was finally time to meet the pony who was holding my fate in this world in her hooves…


***


The walk seemed to take an eternity, though it must have only really been a few minutes. In that single space of time, I was internally freaking out over what would happen when I came face to face with Princess Celestia. What would I say? What would I do? Obviously I would bow before her, but would I ever feel worthy enough to stand up again? What if nothing could be done about my situation, and I would be forced to freeload off of Pinkie and the Cakes until Twilight’s spell could be used again? This and a thousand more questions zipped through my mind like the words on an LED news ticker. It’s like they say: you die a thousand deaths before what you fear actually happens…

“Dave?”

“Gah!” I yelped, nearly jumping out of my skin. I clasped my hand to my chest and looked down. Twilight was looking up at me in a concerned way. “Oh…Twi, it’s just you.”

“Are you nervous?”

“…Very. I have no idea what to expect. Anything could happen. What if-?”

But Twilight stopped me right there, putting a hoof to my hand.

“Don’t worry about ‘what if’s. Concentrate on what actually happens. If you waste time worrying about what could happen, you’ll never be ready for what does happen.”

…There was sense in that. It sounded very much like Luna’s advice during my nightmare.

“…Thanks, Twi. That makes me feel a little better.”

“Just relax. You’ll be fine. Princess Celestia has always been very understanding.”

We had stopped before a very ornate set of double doors, where two unicorn guards were stationed.

“We’re a little early, I know,” said Twilight, “but I know how eager you must be to see her.”

“Eager? That doesn’t even begin to describe it,” I muttered.

“You must be the human,” said one of the guards. “You may pass.”

Their horns flared up, a yellow aura and a gray one, and the double doors swung open.

“Ladies first,” I told Twilight. She giggled lightly and stepped inside, me following.

We were in a long, high-ceiling room decorated with a rich red carpet from the door to the back, where the throne was situated. The walls were covered with an astonishing amount of stained-glass windows. One showed two alicorns, one white and one blue, circling around a demonic serpentine creature in the middle, his limbs a disarrayed mismatch of animal parts, even possessing mismatched wings. There was a look of astonishment or shock on his face. 

Two more seemed to depict the same image between them, though with different central subjects. Six ponies were gathered together at the bottom, rays of light shining from them on a figure in the center. One of them showed the image of an alicorn rearing up, bathed in purple light. The other had that same serpent creature from the first window. In gazing at the windows, I found, to my astonishment, that I recognized the six ponies: Twilight and her friends, though Applejack was missing her hat. These must have been when the girls beat Nightmare Moon and Discord. They certainly were unsettling in appearance.

One more caught my immediate notice: one done all in pink. Two unicorns, at least I think they both were, were contorted to each make half of a heart shape, touching horn to horn and smiling contentedly. The one on the left was a stallion, wearing a formal suit, while the one on the right was a mare, wearing fancy shoes like the ones I saw on Luna. If that was the case, maybe she was a princess too, and so must be an alicorn.

And there, sitting at the back, on her throne, was a pony who could be none other than Princess Celestia herself.

The first thing I noticed was that she was tall. Very tall. Probably taller than me, though not by much. She was snow-white, and this, coupled with her large wings, gave her a distinctly swan-like appearance. Like her little sister, she was slender and long-legged, and her mane and tail flowed of their own accord. Unlike Luna’s, hers were streaked with pastel colors in a rainbow-like fashion: pink, purple, green, and blue. She had light pink eyes, a golden tiara behind her long horn, golden shoes, and a golden necklace with a purple gem in the center.

She was…beautiful. 

I know that sounds weird, coming from a human about a pony, but she really was. Her face was wise, calm, and benevolent, and she had those eyes that, while lovely, also seemed penetrating, as if she could look within the depths of my mind through my own eyes. I was unnerved and awed all at once, and as soon as we came to the front step of her dais, I sank onto one knee, taking my hat off as I did so.

“Princess Celestia,” I murmured. “It’s a complete honor to finally be in your noble presence.”

I looked up at her, and saw that her face had broken into a kind smile.

“Welcome, my good David. The honor is all mine.”

She had a nice voice, the kind one wishes to hear a mother speak with. It denoted patience, compassion, and understanding. It didn’t even matter that she used the full version of my first name; somehow, when spoken from someone with such authority, it made it ok.

“And it’s good to see you once again, my faithful student,” she went on, turning to Twilight. She had bowed beside me as well.

“Likewise, Princess,” said Twilight, humbly, though with a big smile on her face. “I hope you don’t mind us being slightly early.”

“Not at all. It merely means we can begin sooner. Once Luna returns with Ironmane, we may get started.”

I felt an unpleasant lurch in my stomach. Ironmane was going to be here? Aw, nuts…

“Is something the matter?” asked Celestia.

“Er, no,” I said, in as calm a voice as I could adopt. “It’s just, I hadn’t expected to hear that Minister Ironmane would be in attendance as well.”

“Ah, that’s right. I’d nearly forgotten that he had paid you a visit last week. Well, as you are not native to Equestria, and he is the Minister of Foreign Affairs, getting you situated will fall partly under his jurisdiction.”

“That does make sense. I hadn’t thought of that,” I muttered to myself.

Did this mean I was going to have him dogging me once I was in my new home? Oh, criminy…

“While we’re on the subject,” Celestia went on, “I’m happy to report that I’ve completed going through the notes you made last Sunday, Twilight.”

“Oh?” asked Twilight, looking up eagerly.

“And I am pleased with what you’ve described. I still recall the days when I last made contact with humans, but I was surprised to hear how far they had progressed. You seem to live very similarly to us, David.”

“Oh, believe me, Your Majesty, I was baffled myself, and continually am,” I said.

Celestia then said, turning back to Twilight, “You can depend upon it that this little project of yours will factor in nicely as extra credit. I commend you for taking it up as a surprise for me.”

Twilight’s lavender face split into a beaming grin, her eyes sparkling. She didn’t say anything, but she merely bowed again.

“If I may, Your Highness?” I spoke up.

“Hmm?”

“In Ponyville, I’ve heard people talking about tales of humans in Equestria in the past, though none of them sounded conclusive. Could you perhaps lend some insight into what those days were like?”

To my discomfort, a slight frown appeared on Celestia’s noble face. She didn’t appear to like the question, and seemed to be trying to make a difficult mental decision. At last, she said,

“I realize how curious you must be to know, but I’m afraid now is not the time for such questions. Don’t fret; someday, you will know the full truth.”

“Oh…I understand, Your Highness.”

It was a faint disappointment to be denied conclusive testimony on humans as they had lived in this world, but if the ruler of this land deemed not the right time, there was no room to argue.

At that moment, the doors flew open again, and Princess Luna strode in, with none other than Minister Ironmane alongside her. That stiff, business-like look on his face was back.

“Ah, Luna, Ironmane,” said Celestia. “Excellent timing. We can get started now.”

I rose to my feet again, giving a low bow to the two newcomers.

“Princess Luna, Minister Ironmane. An honor to see you two again.”

To be perfectly honest, I only really felt this towards the former, but who was gonna know?

Luna nodded with a polite smile, and even Ironmane gave a curt nod of his own. The minister’s eyes then fell on Twilight, and he smiled slightly.

“Miss Sparkle,” he said, “it is good to see you again. How you’ve grown since I last saw you.”

“It’s good to see you too, Minister Ironmane,” said Twilight, pleasantly.

I guess these two really did have a kind of connection. It was almost weird seeing this bearded old vampire actually being friendly, almost like how I’d seen him when I first heard he and Twi were acquainted.

All of a sudden, there was a loud clatter that nearly made me jump out of my skin. A round wooden table had suddenly appeared out of nowhere, surrounded briefly by a golden glow. Right after that, with several ‘poof’s, five plush cushions appeared around it, also surrounded by the golden glow. I looked at Princess Celestia, and the mystery was solved. Her magic aura was that golden shine, and it was surrounding her horn at the moment.

“Make yourselves comfortable,” she said.

We all seated ourselves on the cushions, and I ended up between Twilight and Ironmane, so I was half comfortable and half uncomfortable.

“Now, then,” said Celestia, “you understand the significance of this meeting, David?”

“Yes, Your Majesty.”

“Good. Then tell us a little about how you’ve been getting by up to this point.”

“I believe,” said Ironmane, “that he has been staying with the Cakes of Sugarcube Corner. That is where I discovered him when I arrived.”

“Is this correct?” asked Celestia.

“Yes, Your Majesty,” I answered, feeling a little resentful of Ironmane butting in. “Nearly two weeks ago, I woke up in the fields outside Ponyville, with no idea what I was doing there or what I had been doing before I woke up. Pinkie Pie discovered me and took me under her wing. Metaphorically speaking,” I added.

“Of course. Continue.”

“She was gracious enough to let me stay with her in Sugarcube Corner up until now.”

“And what has made that arrangement different?” asked Ironmane. “You haven’t grown tired of Miss Pie’s company, have you?”

(Jeez, what is this, an inquisition?)

“Not in the least,” I said, coldly, annoyed that he would talk about Pinkie like that. “I’ll be so bold as to say, Minister, that Pinkie has been the most wonderful companion I could ask for. I’m not doing this as a poor return for her hospitality, but to lighten the burden I’ve caused over the past week or two.”

There was a moment’s silence, in which all four ponies regarded me in surprise for my words. At last, Ironmane said, in a stiffly civil tone,

“Of course. I meant no offense. Do proceed.”

After casting a distrustful half-glance at him, I turned to Celestia and said, “As I believe you are aware, Your Highness, Twilight had discovered a spell that could have taken me home. Unfortunately, the timing wasn’t favorable…”

“Yes, I remember,” said Celestia. “I’m terribly sorry it came about that way.”

“Well, we agreed that, until the next time Twilight could pull the spell off, I would have to stay in Ponyville. I’m not entirely regretful of it, Your Majesty, but I can’t continue to live as a freeloader off of Pinkie and the Cakes for what could be a whole year. I want to be an adult about this and handle my own affairs. That’s why Twilight suggested coming to you for advice.”

“Very well,” said Celestia, approvingly. “Twilight did indeed write to me about authorizing you as a stipendiary. Is that the course you wish to take?”

“Yes, Your Majesty. Whatever it is you require of me to do, I’ll do it straightaway and without fuss.”

I removed my hat as I said this and inclined my head, one hand on my chest.

“That is very gracious of you,” said Celestia. “Does anypony have a suggestion at what our noble human might be able to do for the kingdom?”

“Verily,” said Luna, “he might make a welcome addition into the Royal Guard.”

At this, I blanched. No way, no how was anyone going to draft me into the military.

“With all due respect, Princess Luna,” I said, “I’ve never been much of a fighter. I don’t think that would quite be for me, though I very much respect your judgment.”

“That is a pity,” said Luna. “You look as if you would do admirably with a spear or a lance.”

“It would certainly offer the element of surprise,” said Ironmane. “Nopony would ever expect to be attacked by a six-foot biped.”

(Sometimes I really hate you, Ironmane, I thought, bitterly)

“Maybe,” said Twilight, “he could work in the Canterlot library. He loves books, after all, don’t you, Dave?”

“I do,” I answered, “and I have always wanted to work in a library. However…”

“However what?” asked Twilight.

“That would mean having to move to Canterlot. Aside from how expensive it would be to live in such a fabulous city, I just can’t see myself leaving Ponyville behind, not after the time I’ve spent with you all there.”

“Oh, Dave,” said Twilight, tenderly.

Celestia and Luna looked at each other with smiles on their faces, though Ironmane was expressionless.

“I believe I might have a suggestion,” he said, “one that would enable him to not only stay in Ponyville, but provide a, ahem, invaluable service to the crown.”

“And that is?” asked Celestia.

“Foreign relations.”

He lost me.

“Beg pardon?” I asked.

“Foreign relations, my dear sir,” Ironmane went on. “You are a foreigner, are you not?”

“Well, sure.”

“Then you might be eligible for a prime position within our Canterlot Round Table. It is an advisory board comprised of the brightest minds of races within and beyond Equestria. Of course, seeing as how you are the only mind of your kind within Equestria, you shall surely suffice.”

Did he just imply that I was…? What a jerk!

“Of course, we wouldn’t dream of tearing you away from your home in Ponyville,” he went on, “so you might consider yourself ‘on-call’. By this, I mean we have the power to summon you whenever a meeting is to be held, but in the meantime, you are free to do as you please in Ponyville. How does that sound to you?”

I mulled it over in my mind. Me, part of a committee like the United Nations? I’d never even considered such a thing. 

Was Ironmane suggesting this for my own good, or was he trying to trip me up? He wouldn’t dare try anything like that in front of Princess Celestia, would he? He did vaguely threaten to report Scootaloo to an orphanage, but then again, he had probably just been trying to do his job. This guy was unfathomable; was he my enemy, or was he not really even on my side? I just didn’t know…

On the plus side, being on call meant I could still stay in Ponyville. Maybe it was worth a shot after all…

“Isn’t this a trifle ambitious, Minister?” asked Luna, interrupting my thoughts. “We are not even sure Sir Dave has experience in this field.”

“I’m not saying it’s a walk in the park, Your Highness,” said Ironmane, “but it is well-suited for someone of his outside experience. An unbiased, unvarnished mind working in the Canterlot court. So, human, what say you?”

“…Well, we do have something like that back where I come from,” I said. “We call it the United Nations, where representatives of every country in the world gather to discuss national affairs.”

“Is that so?” asked Ironmane. “And could you see yourself performing such an office?”

“I’ve never tried anything like it before,” I said. “However, I can’t help but find soundness in your judgment, Minister. If you think I’m suited for it, and if the princesses are in agreement, I’ll give it a try.”

There was a slight curl of Ironmane’s lip, as if he weren’t used to actually being paid compliments by his foreign clientele. I was trying to be civil about it, certainly, but mostly because we were under the watch of the two princesses.

“Well, I find it to be an intriguing and excellent suggestion,” said Princess Celestia. “Are we all in favor?”

Ironmane nodded.

“I am willing to see where it goes,” said Luna.

“I think it’s a great idea,” said Twilight, looking at me. “I can almost see you at the Round Table, talking among the smartest minds around the globe.”

“Then it is settled,” said Celestia. “All that remains is to make it official.”

“Before we do that, Your Highness,” I interjected, “I just want to ask, without trying to sound greedy: how much will my stipend amount to?”

“Ah, of course. I’m glad you asked,” said Celestia. “Ironmane?”

“Thank you, Your Highness,” said Ironmane. “As you are on call, human, and not fully employed, your weekly allowance shall not be as hefty as it would be, but we certainly would not have you starved. Your housing finances will still be catered for, so you should still have an adequate sum to pass the week with.”

(And I’ll bet you’ll be the one who decides what to give and what to hold back, I thought, bitterly.)

“In any case,” Ironmane went on, “I shall drop by each week to deliver you your stipendiary dues, and I will say up front that I am a stallion of my word. You shan't see a week go by that you go unpaid.”	

“You may rely on his words, David,” said Celestia. “Ironmane has always been a stallion of unimpeachable vigilance.”	

Ironmane puffed his chest out proudly.

“Who knows?” the princess added, with a slight chuckle. “This might even give you a chance to get to know each other.”

At this, the both of us looked, in surprise, at Celestia, then at each other. Me, be friends with him? Maybe, when I sprout bat-wings…We both turned our heads away in stubborn disgust of the idea, drawing laughs from the three mares. It looked like the princesses didn’t even notice the meaning of the gesture.

“Now that that is settled,” said Celestia, “let us make it official.”

Her horn flared up, and in a burst of golden light, a piece of beige parchment appeared, written very regally. Beside it had appeared a bottle of ink and a quill. I took the paper up and read,

“‘I, the undersigned, do hereby pledge my allegiance and loyalty to Princesses Celestia and Luna of Equestria, and agree to perform the services with which they have entrusted onto me. By signing this, I pledge to perform the duties required as a member of the Canterlot Round Table, to provide impartial and unbiased counsel in order to establish peaceful international relationships. My services are for the good of the two crowns and the subjects of and outside Equestria. In the name of the princesses of the sun and moon, I swear to all of this.
Sincerely,’”

And there was a blank space for my name.

Well, of course I wasn’t going to try to do anything that would make me a public enemy of Equestria. I had no desire to be a felon or a thug. I dipped the pen into the ink and signed the contract in as elegant a cursive as I could muster.

As soon as I had concluded, the parchment vanished, and Princess Celestia said,

“Congratulations, David. It is my warm pleasure to officially welcome you into Equestria!”

I’d done it? That was really all it took? That went way better than I had hoped!

I looked around the table, excitement flooding through me. Luna and Celestia were smiling warmly. Ironmane was still expressionless, but that didn’t matter any to me. Twilight, for her part, threw her hooves around me in a tight hug, one I gladly reciprocated.

“See?” she whispered in my ear. “I told you there was nothing to worry about.”

I nodded to her, then turned to Celestia and Luna.

“Your Majesties,” I said, humbly, as I rose to my feet, “this is much more than I could have ever asked for. I swear that I will not let you down. I will do whatever it takes, whether it be in this foreign relations committee or even something else, to repay you for your kindness and generosity.”

I swept off my hat and gave a low bow to them.

“Thank you, David,” said Celestia. “We shall certainly expect the best you can provide, but don’t worry. You’ll know what to do as you go along. Ironmane?”

“Your Majesty.”

“I would like for you to meet with the treasurer to portion out the sum required for David to purchase a home in Ponyville.”

“Of course, Your Highness. I’ll send a messenger to his suite when we have made those arrangements.”

“Excellent. If that is all, then I hereby adjourn this meeting.”

Everypony else got to their hooves, and the table and cushions vanished.

“Enjoy the remainder of your stay in Canterlot, David,” said Celestia. “It was a pleasure to meet you.”

“Likewise, Your Highness,” I said, bowing again. “I hope to see you again in the near future.”

“And Twilight?” asked Celestia.

“Yes, Princess?” asked Twilight.

“Do try to keep him out of trouble.”

I was about to express nervous surprise at these words, but the smile on Celestia’s face told me it was just a light jest.

“I’ll do my best, Princess Celestia,” said Twilight, giggling. “Come on, Dave.”

“Goodbye, Your Majesties,” I said, to the two princesses. “And you too, Minister.”

“Mm-hmm,” said Ironmane, curtly.

Twilight and I exited the throne room, the great doors closing behind us, and a great weight removing itself from the pit of my heart. 

It was over. I’d done it. I’d won Princess Celestia’s approval, and was now in her service. Having to keep continued contact with Ironmane was just a small price to pay for being able to stay in Ponyville.

“So?” asked Twilight, grinning up at me. “How do you feel?”

“How do I feel?” I asked. I took Twilight by the hooves, helping her up onto her hind ones. “My dear Twilight, I could sing if I only knew the words! I feel wonderful!”

“Great! Let’s go find Rainbow Dash so we can celebrate. You deserve it, you lucky human, you.”

“Lucky? Twilight, today, I consider myself the luckiest human living in Equestria…”
> Last Evening in Canterlot
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"So, let me get this straight: you got a job as an egghead?”

Twilight and I had found Rainbow Dash lugging off more bags stuffed with items she had purchased from the Wonderbolt store, and we had offered to help her carry them back to the suite after lunch. Twilight said dinner would be the celebratory meal, which I didn’t mind at all. We decided to have lunch at an outdoor restaurant that was more of a bakery, where I was able to an enjoy a nice egg and cheese bagel sandwich. It was during our meal that Rainbow put this question to me, after we had told her all about my meeting.

“Not an egghead, Rainbow,” I said, “but a delegate. You could say I’m something like an ambassador. I’ve been selected to offer my own opinions and suggestions in the regulation of foreign diplomacy.”

“Oh…so you’re a foreign egghead.”

“…Does calling me an egghead have anything to do with the fact that I’m eating an egg sandwich?” I asked, dryly.

“Don’t worry about it,” said Twilight. “It’s one of her favorite words. She used to use it on me all the time.”

“Yeah, dude, I’m just pushing your buttons,” said Rainbow, biting hungrily into a bagel slathered with strawberry cream cheese. “Sounds like Princess Celestia really liked you,” she added, with her mouth full, then said, after swallowing, “but this Ironmane guy sounds like a real piece of work.”

“I know he’s just doing his job,” I said, “but would it kill him to be civil without insulting me, at least?”

“If he’s an old guy, it might,” said Rainbow, grinning. “The effort might be too much for him.”

“Rainbow Dash!” scolded Twilight. It didn’t help her temper that I was trying to hold back a snicker. “It isn’t funny! Minister Ironmane has been in Celestia’s service ever since he was a member of the Royal Guard. He told me so himself once. She places a lot of faith in him, and he’s always been dutiful.”

“Well, of course he’s good at what he does,” I said, “but that’s the problem: his job is all about spying on and browbeating foreigners.”

“It’s not spying and it’s not browbeating,” said Twilight, shortly. “It’s supervision and vigilance. You have to be prepared for anything in foreign relations.”

“I know, Twi. I’m only saying he could stand to smile a bit more. Maybe he just needs to meet Pinkie. That girl can lift anypony’s spirits. But let’s change the subject. All we’re doing is getting on your nerves.”

“Oh, Dave, it’s not that,” said Twilight, in a calmer voice. “I’m just saying you shouldn’t make Ironmane look all bad. I agree he was, well, rather terse, but he’s just not used to you yet. I’m with Princess Celestia: having him deliver your weekly stipend could be a good chance for you two to relate with each other.”

“Honestly, Twi, I think I’d rather kiss a timber wolf,” I muttered.

Twilight just rolled her eyes smilingly, so I turned to Rainbow.

“How did Round 2 go?”

“Great! It took me a while to decide what I ought to get, since there’s so much stuff I could’ve gotten my hooves on. I did get you a couple things, though!”

“Oh?”

She poked around in one of her bags and pulled out a pair of books, dumping them onto my lap. One was entitled, Flying with the ‘Bolts, written by Spitfire herself, and the other was called The Wonderbolts Past and Present: A Look into the Makings of Equestria’s Finest Flyers.

“Wow, thanks, Rainbow. These will make quite a read, I’m sure, even if I can’t fly myself.”

“Knew you’d like them!” said Rainbow, punching my shoulder.

“I just can’t believe one of these is actually written by the captain herself. Do you know anything about Spitfire?”

“She’s awesome!” said Rainbow, her lilac eyes shining. “You’d think she’d be too cool for small talk, being an international celebrity and all, but I’ve met her a couple times. In fact, I saved her once.”

“You did?” I asked, astounded.

“During the Best Young Fliers Competition. The winner got a chance to spend a day with the Wonderbolts. I was raring to show them my stuff, but I was…kinda nervous.”

“Kinda?” asked Twilight.

“Ok, really nervous,” Rainbow appended, snappishly. “It didn’t help that Rarity was showboating around with wings Twilight had made her.”

“Wait, what?!” I shouted, drawing a few stares from around us. I looked at Twilight. “You made wings for Rarity? I didn’t know there was a wing-granting spell!”

“You’d be surprised,” said Twilight, simply. “The wings were really fragile, though. Rarity didn’t care about that; she was too busy wowing everypony around her, and said she would enter the competition herself, when she was supposed to be lending Rainbow moral support with the rest of us.”

“The rest of you?” I asked. “But you’re not pegasi. How did-”

But I stopped. The answer came to my head at once.

“Ohh…cloud-walking spell?”

“Cloud-walking spell,” said Twilight, smiling at the fact that I had remembered.

“But wouldn’t Fluttershy have gone with anyway?” I asked. “I bet she’s great support.”

“Yes and no,” said Rainbow. “She’s an awesome friend, and she’s always there to watch my moves, but her cheering is a little…” She paused, trying to think of a nice way to put it.

“Quiet?” I supplied.

“Exactly. She sure let it rip at the Competition, though,” she said, proudly. “I was so proud of her; it was all thanks to my coaching!”

“That’s sweet,” I said, admiringly. “So, what happened at the Competition?”

“Oh! Well, during her performance, Rarity got too close to the sun, and *FROOSH*, her wings burned to ashes. She started plummeting right toward the ground, screaming her head off. Three Wonderbolts, Spitfire among them, tried to save her, *ZOOM!* but she was kicking and flailing so much that she knocked them out.” She swung her hooves this way and that, making punching sound effects. “I was high up, preparing to finish my performance, when I saw what was going on. Without thinking, I dove after them, and then...BOOM! I put on a burst of speed and pulled off the first successful Sonic Rainboom I’d ever done ever since I was a filly.”

“Wow!” I said, amazed. “I’ll bet it was even doubly impressive now that you’re grown up.”

“Heh, think so?” asked Rainbow, grinning. “Anyway, I scooped Rarity and the Wonderbolts away from the ground and back into Cloudsdale. It was best day of my whole life…” She concluded, a dreamy look in her eyes.

“I wish I’d been there,” I said. “That sounds like it was quite a scene. So, you got to meet Spitfire?”

“Yep! I had my day with the Wonderbolts because of the competition, then saw her again at the Grand Galloping Gala, where we…didn’t get much of a chance to hang out,” she admitted, ruefully. She then brightened again as she said, “But she oversaw us transferring reservoir water to Cloudsdale in order to keep the clouds going. It was a narrow thing, though.”

“Oh? What happened?” I asked.

I loved hearing these kinds of stories. They were all full of suspense, narrow escapes, and spectacular turnabouts. It was almost like something out of a TV show.

“Well,” said Rainbow Dash, taking another bite of her bagel, “annually, Cloudsdale chooses a different city to pipe water to it to make clouds. Now, how do you think we transfer that much water from down here to up there?”

I sat and pondered, wondering what she wanted me to say.

“Uh...a big fish tank?”

“Nope!”

“A giant vacuum?”

“Nope, but close!”

“Er...I give up, what?”

“Tornados, of course!”

I stared at her. Was she serious?...

“No, I’m not kidding,” she went on. “A lot of pegasi flying together need to make a powerful twister to funnel water from the water supply up into Cloudsdale. Well, one year, Ponyville’s highland reservoir was chosen, and as chief weather-mare of Ponyville, I was assigned to make sure the local pegasi were in prime condition to get the water to Cloudsdale.”

“That sounds right up your alley,” I said, earning a smile from her.

“Now, to make a tornado that strong requires some fast flying, and we calculate that by wing-power.” 

“And how do you calculate wing-power?” I asked.

“With an anemometer, of course,” said Twilight, brightly. “It-”

“Tells you how fast you’re flying and how strong your wings are,” interrupted Rainbow, earning her a sullen look from Twilight. “Unfortunately, there was a bit of a hiccup: the day we were supposed to channel the water, several pegasi came down with the feather flu.”

“Uh oh...” I muttered.

“Uh-huh. We didn’t have enough to get the tornado going. It was making me look seriously uncool in front of Spitfire, but I couldn’t worry about that. All that mattered was getting that water to Cloudsdale!”

I smiled at this. Despite her bragging, Rainbow always knew how to remind others why she represented Loyalty.

“And then Fluttershy came in and saved the day!” Rainbow went on, proudly.

“Huh? Fluttershy? How?”

“She can be an awesome flier when she wants to be, but she gets stage fright now and then, so she wasn’t helping out. It took some doing, some tears, and one pretty nifty training program, if I heard right, but finally, she got out of her funk and provided the last kick to send the water skyward!”

“Whoa! Now that’s what I call inspirational!”

It made me smile to hear that Fluttershy, the pegasus who could have been scared of her own shadow, had been the one to pull it off. Somehow, I feel like she deserved it.

“Spitfire congratulated us on a job well done,” concluded Rainbow. “We didn’t set a wind-speed record, but she said I had guts. Fluttershy had the guts that day,” she added, proudly, “but just you wait. Some day, I’m gonna wow them at the Academy and show them my stuff!”

She paused, as if wanting to relish the thought a little longer, then said,

“Sorry. These stories can get kinda long, and I hope I wasn’t boring you.”

“Not at all!” I said. “I love hearing these stories! It sounds like every day is an adventure for you girls.”

“I’ve been feeling the same way, actually,” mused Twilight.


***


The rest of the day passed in a blur of contentment. After we dropped off Rainbow’s bags and my new books, we set out to…well, do whatever came to mind. We had the rest of one more day to bum around Canterlot, before heading back to Ponyville to arrange my new home.

We went to the local movie theater, where Rainbow and I laughed ourselves stupid over a comedy flick about three stallions who were almost exactly like the Three Stooges. Twilight said afterward that she found it a little childish, but hey, I loved goofy comedy. Rainbow told me she and Pinkie would sometimes go down to Ponyville’s theater to see a movie that everypony else hated, just to laugh at how stupid it was. That sounded hilarious! I’d always wanted to do that, but never had anyone to do it with.

Twilight then took us to the Canterlot library, and while Rainbow browsed the shelves containing all books related to Daring Do, Twilight showed me some interesting books about the history of Equestria and Star Swirl the Bearded. She told me she had copies just like them back at the Ponyville library, and were free for my perusal whenever I wanted. I asked if I needed a library card, and she said she had never really had a use for them, though she knew of other libraries that used that method. She merely kept a record of who had checked out what book at what time, so I suppose that was just as well. This world really knew how to get me hooked on their most iconic subjects: the history of Equestria, the Wonderbolts, Star Swirl the Bearded…

It was nearing evening as Twilight took us to the Gilded Horseshoe as our celebratory dinner. It was part of the dress code to at least wear something, so I went in my full suit, while Twilight put on a pearl necklace that suited her nicely. Rainbow Dash refused to get frou-frou-ed up just for dinner, so we compromised by letting her wear my hat; she loved it. 

We sat at an outdoor table, where I treated myself to a big plate of fettucine alfredo, one of my favorites. As we ate, and after only the bread that came with my pasta was left, I noticed music floating through the air, and for some reason, found it familiar. Not merely because of the song being played, but because of what it was being played on: a cello.

Turning in my chair, I found I was right. We were sitting near a small outdoor stage, and standing atop it on her hind legs was Octavia, the classy cellist I saw in Bon Bon’s sweet shop. She was playing that same beautiful melody that had drawn me to the shop in the first place, only she was accompanied by three other ponies with instruments of their own. A brown stallion with a white mane was at a piano, a purple stallion with a blue mane was strumming at a harp, and a blue mare with a brown mane was playing a tuba worn around her middle. When they stopped, everypony nearby applauded, along with me.

Possibly, Octavia had noted the different sound clapping hands made instead of clapping hooves, and, turning to the source of the sound, discovered me. She gave a small gasp of recognition.

“Hello, Miss Octavia,” I said.

“Good evening,” said Octavia, still somewhat flabbergasted. She motioned for her ensemble to take five, which they gladly did, and she took a seat at a table next to ours, the better to talk with me. “Goodness, you look…different!”

“Thanks. I had a meeting with Princess Celestia today.”

“You’ve met the princess?” asked Octavia, astounded.

“It’s thanks to Twilight that I was able to,” I said, indicating my unicorn friend. Twilight looked up and smiled. “We were arranging a situation for me. I plan on staying in Ponyville for a while, as an official resident.”

“Oh! How intriguing,” said Octavia. Then, after pondering for a moment, she said, in a grimmer tone, “That means you’ll have to put up with Vinyl, then. I do pity you.”

“I suppose so,” I said, laughing. “She doesn’t seem so bad, though.”

“No, of course not,” said Octavia. “She’s a dear friend, and very funny, but…well, she knows how to drive one’s patience. I daresay you’ve already experienced her ‘alarm clock’?”

“You mean her Wub-Meister?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

Octavia put a hoof to her temple with a slight laugh. “Oh, Celestia, she’s named it now…”

“How did you two become acquainted, if I might ask? It just seems kind of odd for a sophisticated cellist like you to be friends with a wild party animal like her.”

“It’s not quite as strange as that,” she said. “We grew up together, attended the same school. I stuck to my studies like a good filly, while she…”

She paused, obviously trying to find the right words.

“…She was an absolute maniac. In trouble every other day, sneaking into the principal’s office to play old rock and roll albums over the intercom, scribbling on the edges of her homework, sleeping in class.”

“Wow. Sounds like a real troublemaker.”

“That’s putting it mildly, I’m afraid. She was obnoxious and annoying, yes, though she still did relatively well enough grade-wise. Still, I’d never met another filly as passionate about music as she was. Our tastes were utterly opposites, of course, but the fact still remains.”

“So, you started hanging out because of music?”

“Well…not exactly,” said Octavia, delicately. “It was because of one particular lunch time. I was sitting by myself, as usual, when I caught sight of Vinyl. She was sitting alone as well, and looked…sad. I was surprised. She usually had a gaggle of other ponies laughing at some stupid prank she’d pulled, but today, she was utterly alone, and not even wearing those obnoxious sunglasses she even has today. I…knew what it was like to be alone. I kept to myself and stayed immersed in my schoolwork and my music, so I never really had time to make many friends.”

“Oh. I’m sorry,” I said.

“So, I threw caution to the wind and decided to sit next to her. I asked her what was the matter, and she said she had pulled a joke that none of her friends appreciated, and they left her all alone. Well, I said I would keep her company if she wanted. For a moment, she just looked at me, and then gave a kind of smile. She didn’t say anything, but I knew she appreciated it. From then on, we started hanging out more often. She started to like listening to my music (though she never admitted it aloud to anypony else), and I must admit, I’d be lying if I said her music didn’t have some thrill to it. It’s still horrid to listen to, though, but it’s just her way.”

“Do you visit each other often?”

“As often as we can manage. She does have ‘gigs’ to keep scheduled, and I have my own appointments, but yes, we do still see each other often.”

“Wow. Pretty cool how such opposites can attract.”

“Precisely what I remind myself whenever we meet,” said Octavia, with a small smile. “Oh, but listen to me, prattling on. I must be boring you out of your mind.”

“Oh, don’t fret about it. My worry was that I was keeping you from playing. You were doing a beautiful job. Is this your ensemble?”

“Oh, thank you,” said Octavia, pleased. “And yes, they are. That’s Frederic on piano-”

The brown stallion nodded curtly.

“Harpo on the harp-”

The blue stallion merely smiled.

“And that’s Beauty Brass on sousaphone.”

The mare grinned.

“Is there anything particular you’d like to hear? We’re on freelance at the moment, so we’re taking requests.”

I glanced at Twilight and Rainbow. They didn’t look like they had any in mind, so I asked,

“Do you know ‘Largo al factotum’ from Barber of Seville?” I asked. “It’s one of my all-time favorite classical pieces.”

Octavia looked puzzled for a moment, then said, in realization,

“Ohh, by Hossini!”

“Er, yeah! That’s what I meant,” I said. I couldn’t believe I’d forgotten that not everything was similarly named between our worlds. I’d have to become fluent in the language of ‘pony puns’.

“Consider it done. It was a pleasure talking with you, Dave.”

“Ah, you remembered,” I said, pleasantly. “Likewise, Miss Octavia.”

She returned to the stage and had a huddle with her ensemble. They then dispersed and sprang into Largo al factotum. All I can say is, it was a wonderful way to end dinner…


***
	

It was nearing 10 o’clock when we finally arrived back at our suites. Twilight saw us to ours, and then said,

“We’ll catch the 10 AM train tomorrow. With luck, we’ll have time to start looking into Dave’s new house.”

“Great!” I said. “Thanks for bringing us, Twilight. I would have been lost if you hadn’t guided me around.”

“My pleasure,” said Twilight, warmly. “Good night, you two.”

“Night, Twi!” said Rainbow.

“Good night,” I said, and our unicorn friend trotted off to her suite.

When we entered, we found a small burlap bag with a letter propped against it. I looked at Rainbow, who merely raised her eyebrows in curiosity. I took up the letter, which was sealed very officially with wax, carefully opened it, and read,

“Dear human,	
This bag contains the allowance required for you to purchase your home, as well as some basic furnishings. You might disagree with the amount given, but it has been carefully calculated by our royal treasurer, taking into account the current housing market and prices of furniture. Remember, you are not a full-time member of the Canterlot Round Table, so you will not receive as large a payment as they do, but you should find this sufficient.	
Signed,	
Ironmane 	
Minister of Foreign Affairs.”

I picked up the bag. It gave a jingle of gold coins, but somehow, I felt as if it should have been bigger. Buying a house would be an expensive affair. Was this going to cover it and a bed?

“Maybe it’s because I still don’t fully understand bits,” I said, “but I can’t help but feel like I got the short end of the stick.”

“Don’t worry about it,” said Rainbow. “Celestia wouldn’t let this guy stiff you.”

“And at the same time,” I said, grimly, “Ironmane wouldn’t let the princess favor me too much.”

“Good point,” said Rainbow. “Still, it is what it is, right?”

“Suppose so. Well, that’s done, then.”

I stowed the bag safely into one of my saddlebags, and went into the bathroom to wash up and change. Rainbow was already under the covers when I came back out, and as I got in, I said,

“Rainbow?”

“Mm?”

“If I wake up to find you pranking me again,” I warned, “I’ll leave it to Pinkie to deal with you when we get home.”

“Ohh, I’m so scared,” said Rainbow, in a mock-terrified voice, but the both of us were smiling, so there was no malice in it. “Night, dude.”

“Good night, Rainbow.”

And I drifted off to sleep, my dreams this time filled with visions of the two princesses, who were serving as a kind of protective wall between me and cold, stony-faced Ironmane…
> A New Home
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

In what felt like no time at all, the three of us were on the train back to Ponyville, Canterlot speeding away from us. Neither of the princesses were available to see us off, but it didn’t matter. They couldn’t always hang around when they had other royal duties to attend to. 

On the ride back, I looked through Flying With the ‘Bolts. It was Spitfire’s autobiography, detailing her rise to captain from her start as a cadet under the previous captain, Comet Rush. Apparently, at the Wonderbolt Academy, pegasi were put into pairs: lead ponies, the leaders, and wing ponies, their partners. Soarin, the pegasus stallion Rainbow Dash had shown me, had been Spitfire’s wing pony during those days, and the two had been friends and partners ever since. Between the two of them, they shattered several of the Academy’s previous records in storm maneuvering, recovery from spinouts, and cloud-busting, all of which were essential for a group whose job entailed many dangerous and harrowing missions. Comet Rush had been so impressed with Spitfire that, when he eventually retired, she was made captain in his stead, with Soarin as her second-in-command. Included in the biography were accounts of the Best Young Fliers Competition and different accounts of transferring water to Cloudsdale from all over Equestria. The one that caught my eye, obviously, was the one about Ponyville, almost just as Rainbow had described herself. 

Spitfire had seen it as another routine tornado procedure, until news of the sickened pegasi came into the open. She admitted she had been slightly impatient as they didn’t immediately get a move on, but she also really admired Rainbow’s tenacity in trying to pull off the twister without all of those pegasi. When told that the credit lay with Fluttershy’s arrival, Spitfire said, in text, that she was impressed, though not sure she was quite Wonderbolt material. What really caught my notice, however, was the lines proceeding that...

‘That Rainbow Dash, though…I’ve got a feeling she’d make a valuable member, if she applies herself just right. I can’t play favorites, so I have to see her skills on the Academy level before I decide if she’s truly Wonderbolt material…’


I smiled as I read that. I wondered if Rainbow Dash had actually read that part. The book was relatively new, only being published this month, and I also wondered if she actually read anything beyond the Daring Do books. I casually flipped to the back cover, which featured a small profile of Spitfire herself, without her Wonderbolt uniform, but dressed in a military officer‘s jacket. She was yellow with orange eyes and a mane that looked like live flames. It was only a bust shot, so I couldn’t see what her cutie mark was, but she certainly looked tough and confident, with that little smirk on her face. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was flames, or a phoenix.

Eventually, the train let out a blast on its whistle and screeched to a halt outside the Ponyville station. Through the window, I could see all of our friends waiting for us: Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, the Crusaders, Derpy, Sparkler, Lyra, and even Spike, who looked sleepy-eyed, but was smiling. He must have been recovering from whatever he was sick with.

There was something else on the platform, too: a turtle wearing what looked like miniature flying goggles and…a propeller? Yeah, I’m not kidding. The thing was wearing a dish strapped to its shell, with a propeller on top. It couldn’t just be some weird chance that it was there on the platform at random. It must’ve belonged to someone, or else it wouldn’t be waiting there. But who did it belong to? I knew Owlowiscious, Winona, Opal, Angel, and Gummy, so could this be Rainbow’s pet? I never thought of her as the kind to want a turtle for a pet; it was an almost absolute contrast. Still, maybe that explained the propeller it was wearing.

We stepped off the train, and were soon surrounded by our excited companions, asking how the trip went, what I thought of Princess Celestia, and if my housing situation had been settled. The Crusaders clambered up onto their sisters’ backs for a better view, Dinky settling on her mother’s. Twilight went over to Spike.

“How are you feeling, #1 Assistant?” she asked, tenderly.

“A lot better,” he said, nasally. He sounded like he had a stuffy nose. “Zecora’s medicines always do the trick, though I’m still a little stuffed-up.” He reared back with a sharp breath, and everyone nearby ducked away, but nothing happened except Spike sneezing. I guess they were expecting him to shoot out flames or something.

“So, how did it go?” asked Lyra.

“To put it briefly,” I said, “the trip was magnificent. Twilight gave me the grand tour of Canterlot-” Twilight beamed. “-Princess Celestia was very gracious, and I have some even more good news.”

The ponies leaned in excitedly to hear.

“The princess has named me an on-call delegate of her Canterlot Round Table, meaning that, when she needs me, I’ll be called to Canterlot to offer my opinions in a group of other foreign relations delegates.”

There were several ‘Ooh’s of appreciative wonder at this description.

“And the other good news is, today, I’ll be heading to town hall to get myself situated in a Ponyville home.”

This was met by a chorus of cheers, and I saw the Crusaders jump down from their perches to hug me around the legs, which drew some laughs and ‘aww’s from those present

“How did things go with Tank?” asked Rainbow to Derpy, while the turtle hovered beside her head.

“Great!” said Derpy. “We let him out to fly every day, and he and the kids have been practically inseparable.”

“Knew I could I count on ya, Derpy,” said Rainbow. She gave the turtle, Tank, a good noogie, making him smile. “Speaking of flying…Scoot!”

“Yes, ma’am!” Scootaloo said, zipping over and saluting.

“At ease, squirt,” said Rainbow. “I hope you’ve been keeping up on your flying.”

“You bet! You wanna see?”

“Let’s head back to your mom’s and see.” She turned to me. “I’ll catch ya later, Dave. Duty calls, y’know?”

“I do,” I said, smiling. “Thanks again for coming along.”

“Anytime. See ya, Twi.”

“Bye!”

Rainbow and the Hooves family left the station, heading off toward the western end of town, where the Hooves home lay. As I looked around at the remaining ponies, however, I noticed that one who should have been there…wasn’t.

“Where’s Pinkie?” I asked.

“Not sure,” said Applejack. “She’s been holed up in Sugarcube Corner ever since y’left.”

“We told her you’d be returning in the early afternoon,” said Rarity.

“She might still be wrapped up in her planning,” said Fluttershy.

“I’d better pay her a visit, then,” I said. “I’ve missed her, and can’t just ignore her.”

“Good thinking!” said Lyra, clapping me on the back. “We’ll leave you to get situated, then. Can’t wait to see where you’re gonna live!”

“Me neither,” I admitted. “It’s great to be back, too. Canterlot’s nice, but I wouldn’t trade Ponyville for it any day.”

This earned me a round of warm, appreciative smiles, and we all went our separate ways, except for Twilight and Spike.

“Do you think you can meet me at Town Hall?” I asked the unicorn. “I expect I’ll need your assistance in this.”

“Of course!” said Twilight. “I’ll be there to wait for you. You go find Pinkie.”

“On it.”

I headed for Sugarcube Corner while Twilight and Spike headed back toward the library.


***


I opened the door to Pinkie’s bedroom softly, and there she was, fast asleep at her writing desk. Gummy was snoozing in his basket. An empty drinking glass and several cupcake wrappers scattered one corner, and a single sheet of parchment lay at one end, thankfully not directly under the silly pony, in case she drooled while she slept. Her cheek was resting on her forelegs, and she was snoring peacefully. I could just see her back hoof twitching as she slept. It warmed my heart to see her so at peace…

I stepped quietly over and looked at the piece of paper. On it was scrawled, in writing I could just make out:

Applejack: Apple family cooking

Rarity: Simple dress (nothing too fancy)

Fluttershy, Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Spike, Davie: Be themselves

Surprise the folks with a visit after cider season

I smiled. Pinkie had toned down her planning ideas after all. It almost made me laugh to see that I was supposed to ‘be myself’. I just hoped that ‘myself’ didn’t give the rock farmers a coronary when they saw me.

I gently shook her shoulder. She shifted in her sleep, but didn’t wake up. I shook her a little harder, and finally, with a yawn, she stretched and looked blearily around, and upon catching sight of me, seemed to wake up fully.

“Davie!” she squealed.

She bounded out of the chair and tackled me, nearly making me fall onto the floor. Thankfully, her bed was nearby, and I was knocked into a sitting position onto it, Pinkie wrapping her forelegs around me tightly, nuzzling me warmly.

“I really missed you,” she said.

“Aw, Pinkie, I missed you too,” I said, hugging her in turn. “I was wondering why you didn’t show up at the station.”

“I’m sorry, Davie, I really meant to, but I fell asleep. I was so exhausted after finally getting my ideas down right.”

“I saw when I came in. Looks pretty tame.”

“Yep! You don’t gotta worry about anything. Just be you!”

She giggled and poked my nose with her hoof.

“Just be me, huh? Well, I’ll be the best me I can be, I suppose.”

Pinkie laughed out loud, then settled against me with a happy sigh. She was the most content I’d seen her ever since this whole family affair started.

“So you plan to try and see them after cider season?”

“Yep! I never miss Applejack’s cider season! Gotta get a prime spot!”

“Well, I’m not sure if I’ll be able to get there that early. I have a fund of bits which I need to put to use today.”

“Ohh, that’s right!” exclaimed Pinkie in realization. “You met Princess Celestia, didn’t you? What did you think of her? What did she think of you? Tell me everything!”

She released me and settled up beside me on the bed, sitting like I did, swinging her hind legs as she waited for my tale to commence, and I told her all about arriving in Canterlot, Twilight showing me around, the Wonderbolt store, seeing Princess Celestia herself, and the meeting that followed. Pinkie was, as always, an attentive listener, though she pursed her lips when Ironmane was brought up. Evidently, she hadn’t forgotten when he had barged into Sugarcube Corner to accost and interview me. Her interest peaked, however, when I described my new position.

“So you’re gonna be a foreign smarty-pants?” she asked.

“You know, Rainbow Dash asked me nearly the exact same thing, only she said egghead.”

Pinkie laughed, and I went on, telling her about our last day in Canterlot, my home allowance, and my plans to meet Twilight at Town Hall soon.

“I’ll go with you!” said Pinkie. “I need to find the others and show them my new plans anyway.”

“Sounds perfect! Let’s go, then.”

I set my hat and cane down on my bed, and Pinkie, grabbing her sheet of plans in her teeth, followed me out the door.


***


Twilight was as good as her word. She was waiting for us outside of Town Hall, and beamed upon seeing us approach.

“Hi, Pinkie Pie!” she said. “Glad to see you out and about again.”

“Sorry, Twilight. I didn’t want to leave until I got my plans just right,” said Pinkie, her voice muffled from the paper clamped in her mouth. She held it out for Twilight, who gently removed it from her teeth with her magic. Her eyes roved over the piece of parchment, and a pleased smile crossed her face.

“I’m impressed, Pinkie,” she said. “I knew you’d be up to the challenge.” She even giggled. “So you just want us to ‘be ourselves’?”

“Yep! You can do that, right?”

“Oh, I’ll see what I can do,” said Twilight, in a jesting tone. She then turned to me. “Shall we?”

“Lead on, Miss Sparkle.”

Twilight led the three of us into Town Hall, which I had never seen from the inside. On the outside, it was like a single tower spire, conical and pointed in shape. Inside, the same medieval decorating was prevalent: many colorful tapestries depicting different ponies hung from the ceiling. A red carpet led to a small platform, and a curtained doorway further on. There were several curtained balconies around the circular walls, including one over the aforementioned doorway. Inside it, just visible, was the mayor, who was just separating from an aide she had been conversing with. She caught sight of us as we came forward.

“Ah! Twilight Sparkle! Good to see you today! And Pinkie Pie and her human friend, as well! Dave, was it?”

“Yes, ma’am,” I said. “I came over to settle a housing matter. I had a meeting with Princess Celestia yesterday, and she agreed that I should live as a stipendiary. Therefore, I have an allowance of bits here-” I hefted up the bag I had been given before leaving, “-to buy a house in Ponyville.”

“Wonderful!” said the mayor. “A royal stipendiary, even! We hardly see residents connected to the castle, beyond Miss Sparkle and her friends, of course,” she added, giving a nod to Twilight. “Come with me, and we’ll get that squared away.”

She led us through the doorway and down a long corridor, where several doors and staircases branched off. She diverted into one with a sign above it reading: ‘Housing and Real Estate’. Behind a desk sat a brown unicorn stallion with a neatly-parted black mane and a bushy mustache. The name ‘Deeds’ was written on a plaque on it. He was writing something on an official-looking document, but looked up as we entered.

“Ah! Mayor Mare,” he said. “I was just finishing up the report for Miss Merry Weather’s estate.”

“Good, Deeds,” said the mayor. “I have another assignment for you, however. May I introduce Mr. Dave.”

I stepped inside, and he gazed up at me in surprise.

“Ah!” he said. “The Ponyvillian human! Good to meet you, sir.”

“Likewise,” I said, out of general politeness.

“Dave, this is Deeds,” said the mayor. “He handles housing and real estate matters. Deeds, Dave has been invited to stay in Ponyville under a royal stipend, and has an allowance with which to buy a home.”

“Excellent!” said Deeds. “Have a seat, Mr. Dave, and we’ll get started.”

I took a chair in front of his desk, Twilight and Pinkie standing by.

“So!” said Deeds, putting on a pair of spectacles with his unicorn magic and looking at me steadily, “Do you have any idea of what you’re looking for?”

“Well,” I said, somewhat hesitantly, “I was hoping for an in-town home, preferably near Sugarcube Corner.”

I glanced at Pinkie as I said this, and saw her face split into a hopeful smile.

“Of course, it all depends on how far my bits can take me,” I said, handing the bag over to him. “I was never told how much was in here.” 

Deeds opened it and scrutinized the contents closely.

“Hmm…” he muttered. He then turned to the mayor. “Miss Mayor, could I trouble you to fetch Coin Counter for me?”

“Certainly,” said the mayor, and she trotted off.

“He’s one of Ponyville’s leading bankers,” explained Deeds. “Never makes a miscalculation.”

The mayor turned returned moments later with a stiff-looking, pale-green unicorn with a neatly-combed orange mane. His cutie mark resembled a calculator, the readout full of dollar signs.

“We need an accurate count of these bits, Coin Counter,” said Deeds, handing the bag to him.

Coin Counter looked into the bag with a thoughtful, concentrated expression. His horn flared a brilliant gold, and I saw the inside of the bag glow the same color as well. He nodded, set the bag down, and muttered into Deeds’ ear.

“I see,” he said. “Thank you, Coin Counter. That’s all we needed of you.”

Coin Counter bowed himself out of the room. Deeds leaned his elbows on the desk, hooves together.

“Tell me, Mr. Dave,” said Deeds, “is all of this meant to go towards a house?”

“Well, I don’t really know how much a house is worth,” I said, tentatively. “If I had some left over, I was going to use it towards some basic furniture, like a bed or something.”

“I see,” said Deeds, meditatively. “Well, I have good news and bad news.”

“Better give me the bad news first, then,” I said, bracing myself for the worst.

“Unfortunately, the allowance you’ve been given isn’t sufficient to purchase a home in the middle of town and provide for basic furniture. At any rate, those in the main part of town, such as near Sugarcube Corner, are already bought up.”

“Oh. I see,” I said, a faint sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach. I looked at Pinkie again, and saw the disappointment on her face. Poor girl…

“The good news is,” Deeds went on, “that there are some available houses near the outskirts of Ponyville; well within your price range, leaving you with some left over for furniture affairs. Let me show you.”

He opened a drawer with his magic and drew out a map with several houses marked with red circles. The legend detailed that these circles indicated vacant houses. Nearly all of them, indeed, were at the eastern or western ends of Ponyville, near the outskirts. Those that were occupied were named with whoever was the occupant. I pored over the map to look at the available houses, when I saw something that made me give out an involuntary cry of joy.

“See something you like?” asked Deeds, curious.

“I’d like to take a look at this one, sir,” I said, pointing to one near the Ponyville border. It was only a mile or so away from Sweet Apple Acres, but that wasn’t what drew my notice. It was situated by a small wood, where a single house stood, and under it read the names ‘Hooves’.

Derpy’s home! Moreover, it was near the same wood where Trixie was hiding. I could visit her easily as often as I wanted!

Deeds looked pleased.

“That house has been vacant for a little more than six months now,” said Deeds. “Ponies these days seem to prefer living within the hubbub of the inner town, but it’s a beautiful spot.” 

I glanced at the map again. It wasn’t too far from Sugarcube Corner, seeing as Ponyville was a relatively small village. Pinkie could still see me whenever she wanted. 

As I looked, however, I noticed something odd. The house next to the one I had chosen wasn’t marked with a red circle, so someone lived there, but there was no name for the resident.

“Mr. Deeds?” I asked.

“Hmm?”

“This house here, right next door,” I said, pointing it out. “It’s marked as being occupied, but there’s no name for who lives there.”

“Ah, yes, that,” said the mayor. “That’s a very unusual case. The pony who lives next door just moved in about a month or two ago. Shy, delicate creature, never gave us a name when she came in.”

“None at all?…” I asked, stunned.”Weird...”

“I quite agree,” said Deeds, “but we haven’t tried to pry into the matter, as it wouldn’t be right. Are you still interested in seeing the home?”

“Of course!” I said, more brightly.

“Excellent! Let’s take a look at the home, shall we?”

“Yes, please!”


***
	

“Well, what do you think?”

So far, I had only seen the interior of a few Ponyville dwellings, and the only one remotely similar to this had been Derpy’s. It was a two-story thatched roof house, two bedrooms, two bathrooms, a kitchen with the fixings already in place (an oven, a fridge, etc.), a living room, and a balcony. It was more than I needed, but I could really put it to good use. Everything was clean, tidy, ready for someone to call it their own.

“…It’s perfect,” I breathed.

“It’s a little roomy for one,” said Deeds, “but if you feel the need for company, you could always get a roommate.”

“It’s definitely something to consider,” I said, still looking about. “But how much is it?”

“Do I take that as a yes, then?” asked Deeds, smiling.

“Well, what do you girls think?” I asked, turning to Twilight and Pinkie.

“I like it,” said Twilight. “It’s very cozy.”

“And I guess it’s not too far from Sugarcube Corner,” Pinkie reasoned. “You should definitely buy it, Davie!”

“I guess that’s a yes, then!” I said. 	

“Magnificent!” said Deeds, elated. “Let’s head back to the office and make it official!”

I felt a warm wave of satisfaction surge through my veins as I stepped out with Deeds and my friends.  My own house…I was getting my own house…I just couldn’t believe it’d be in Equestria…


***	


That feeling of satisfaction and elation persisted as I once again added my John Hancock to another piece of official documentation. I’m pretty sure it would be a lot more complicated back home on Earth, but who was I to argue with how they did things here?

“Good, good!” said Deeds. “Now, I’ve taken the liberty of having Coin Counter deduct the amount of the house from what was allotted to you. There’s still some left, though I daresay that’s how it always feels when you have so many bits to burn, eh?” He chuckled.

“Yeah, I guess so,” I said, smiling.

Coin Counter returned, placing the bag with my home allowance onto the desk. Deeds was right; it was considerably lighter than before, though there was still a nice jingle of gold from within.

“My man,” said Deeds, extending a hoof, which I shook, “congratulations! This is a red-letter day for you! Miss Mayor!”

The mayor reappeared in the doorway.

“Yes, Deeds, how did it go?” she asked.

“I’m pleased to say,” he said, “that Ponyville has just received its newest resident!”

“Wonderful!” said the mayor, smiling broadly. “Mr. Dave, I’ve said it when you first arrived, and I’ll say it now: welcome to Ponyville!”

“Thank you very much, Miss Mayor,” I said, gratefully, though, truth be told, I was a little dazed. I had just taken one of the biggest steps of my life: purchasing my first home. There was a tingling in my limbs that, while not unpleasant, was noticeable. “And thank you, Mr. Deeds.”

“You’re very welcome, my man,” said Deeds, still smiling beneath his mustache. “Enjoy your new home.”

“I certainly will,” I said, and, numbly getting to my feet, I stepped out of the office after Twilight and Pinkie, the latter bouncing excitedly.


***


“This is just fan-fan-FANTASTIC!” shouted Pinkie, still bouncing. “You know what this calls for?”

“A party?” Twilight and I asked, at the same time.

“How’d you know?” asked Pinkie, grinning.

“Lucky guess,” said Twilight, glancing at me with a smile.

“And would it happen to be a ‘Davie-Now-Has-His-Own-House’ party?” I asked.

“It’s like you can read my mind!” gasped Pinkie, astonished.

(I hope not, I thought. Sometimes I worry about what goes through your mind…)

“So, what’s next?” Twilight asked.

This was answered by an enormous gurgling rumble that emanated from not just me, but Pinkie. I’d forgotten that, after we got off the train, I hadn’t had a chance to grab lunch.

“I guess that answer’s that for me,” she said, giggling. “Come on, let’s go get something to eat, and then we’ll see about getting you a bed.”


***
	

This proved much easier than I had thought. After lunch, we dropped by a store called Beds & Parchment, which turned out to be a sister store to Quills & Sofas across the way. In fact, both stores were run be a pair of brothers; Mr. Davenport ran Quills & Sofas, while Mr. Cot ran Beds & Parchment. Funny how these enterprises work sometimes.

While Twilight busied herself in finding some new parchment (she had been running low after a vigorous bout of note-taking before our trip), I was shown around the selection of beds by Mr. Cot, eventually finding one much to my liking: a long twin-size, perfect for my lofty stature, complete with the mattress, a set of sheets, and a simple headboard.

“How long will it take to ship?” I asked. “Does today being Sunday affect that?”

“Not at all!” said Mr. Cot. “Beds & Parchment offers same-day delivery for just 10 bits extra.”

I rifled around in my allowance bag. In counting up the bits I had remaining, I had just enough to buy this bed, with about 10 bits remaining, as well as the amount I still had in my pocket, about half of which I had spent during our stay in Canterlot. It would be meager, but I should still be able to buy some food with it. Other furniture would come later.

“I’ll take it,” I said.

Mr. Cot looked very pleased, and assured me that it would be at my door before sunset. With that done, I gathered up Pinkie, who had spent her time bouncing on mattresses, and rejoined Twilight, who now had a bundle of purchased parchment held in her unicorn magic, and we left the store.

“How are you feeling?” asked Twilight.

“Very accomplished, Twi,” I said.

“Well, we did get a lot done today, didn’t we?” went on Twilight. “A new house, a new bed. I’d think you’d be exhausted.”

“I could use a nap, yeah.”

“You go ahead then, Davie,” said Pinkie. “I need to find the others and tell them my new plans.”

“Ok. I’ll see you later, then.”

With a bigger smile than normal, as if something was brewing in her silly mind, Pinkie bounced off, leaving Twilight and me by ourselves. I knelt in front of her.

“Listen, Twi,” I said, “none of this would have been possible without your help, and not merely because of your connection with the Princess, though that did help. You’re an amazing friend, and I’m never, ever going to forget what you did to help me this weekend.”

Twilight smiled glowingly.

“You don’t have to thank me, Dave. I was more than happy to help. I’m glad we were able to get you situated, and I really do hope you’ll enjoy staying now that you’re in a more official residential position. I think Ponyville will really suit you fine.”

I gave her a close hug, which she returned. I had meant every word of what I said. I would never forget what she had done for me, nor what any of the others had done for me…I was lucky to have them by my side… 

Finally, the two of us separated, Twilight for the library, me to Sugarcube Corner. I had time for a ‘Hello’ to the Cakes, who welcomed me back, before I went up to Pinkie’s room and collapsed onto my bed, dozing off for a nap.


***


I was awakened by a vigorous shaking, and looked up to see Pinkie looking down at me. There was an unusually sad expression on her face.

“Pinkie? What’s the matter?” I asked, sitting up and yawning.

“I just remembered something, Davie,” she said. “Cider season starts tomorrow, and I don’t want to keep everypony up late with a party so that they’ll miss it. I promise, though, I’ll give you a super-fantabulous party after all of this busy-busy-busy-ness is over and done with.”

“Really, Pinkie, it’s not that big a deal-” I began.

“But it’s more than that,” said Pinkie, putting her hooves to my shoulders. “I usually camp out for cider season so I don’t miss it. I promised myself that I’d limit myself to one mug this time, so you and Dashie and Twilight won’t miss out, but I won’t be sleeping in my room tonight, and when your bed arrives, you’re going to want to sleep in your new house…”

Her ears drooped, and I could see tears in her eyes.

Oh, Pinkie…I understood. She was sad that we wouldn’t be able to share one last night as roommates before I moved out. It really hurt my heart to think that she was taking this like a baby bird leaving its nest. While it might have been a little dramatic, it also touched me that she had that kind of care for me…

“Pinkie, come here…” I soothed, opening my arms to her.

She collapsed into them, and I held her against my shoulder, softly stroking her mane while she sniffled.

“It’s not like I’m leaving you altogether,” I said. “I’ll still be in the neighborhood, and you’re welcome to visit me anytime. I’ll always be happy to see you.”

Pinkie sniffled again and wiped her nose with her hoof. “You will?”

“Of course I will. You’re the first friend I ever made here. Do you really think I’d forget you that easily?”

Pinkie couldn’t help it; she smiled.

“I guess I am being a little silly, aren’t I?”

“Not at all. I’m gonna miss being with you, too. You made for a fun roommate. More than that, you were the one to give me a temporary home in the first place. I may owe Twilight for helping me get a new home, but I owe you for my survival in Ponyville up to this point. You’re my best pony pal, Pinkie.”

The tears started up anew, and she leaned up and kissed my forehead, before resting her cheek against mine, nuzzling me. I held her in my arms as I had the night I came back from the Everfree Forest, comforting her like a parent would comfort a frightened child. I knew she was sad to see me go, but I also knew that she really was truly happy for me. Nothing would ever make me forget everything she had done for me…
> A New Home Means New Neighbors
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I spent one last evening at Sugarcube Corner, having dinner with Pinkie and the Cakes. The latter were sorry to see me go, but were happy that I had gotten situated with my own home so well. I expressed my infinite gratitude at their having housed me up to this point, which they genially waved off as ‘nothing’ and ‘our pleasure’. 

Finally, when dinner was over, I bid the Cakes a warm farewell, and they told me not to be shy about coming back to see them again. I definitely would not be shy; I loved Sugarcube Corner. 

Pinkie had given me one of her crusher-hugs that took the wind out of me, and even Gummy, Pound, and Pumpkin had come out to say goodbye. Gummy clung to my leg as usual, and I petted his scaly back. To my amusement, I was actually able to get Pound to give me a ‘down-low’ high five, though the strength with which he applied to it numbed my fingers. Pumpkin didn’t try to suck on my watch again (thank goodness) but let me pat her on the head. At last, with the borrowed saddlebags slung over my shoulders, I gave one last wave to Pinkie and the Cakes, which they reciprocated, and I started off toward the western end of Ponyville, where my new home lay…


***
	

As I approached my house, I was happy to see that my bed had indeed been delivered on the same day. It was sitting outside, with the pillows and sheets sealed in a separate parcel on top of the mattress. A burly brown pegasus stallion with a 5 o’clock shadow was waiting beside it, and looked up as I approached.

“Ah, good!” he said, gruffly. “Looks like I made it just in time. You Mr. Dave?”

“That’s me,” I said.

With his wing, the stallion reached into his saddlebag and drew out a clipboard. Handing it to me with the same wing, he used the other to hand me a pen.

“Just sign there,” he said, and I did so. “Where do ya want it?”

“Uh, probably the downstairs bedroom,” I said. “Do you want a hand?”

“Nah, don’t sweat it. I got it.”

And indeed he had. With astonishing strength and speed, the stallion began transferring everything piece by piece through the door, starting with the pillow and sheets, then following up with the mattress, then the bed frame. As this was going on, I heard a familiar voice.

“Dave? Is that you? What’s going on?”

It was Derpy. She, Sparkler, Scootaloo, and Dinky were trotting up, looking puzzled by the procedure.

“Oh, hey, gals,” I said. “Just step 1 of moving in, I suppose.”

“Moving in?” asked Derpy. 

Her wonky eyes crossed one way, then the other, as she seemed to be wrapping her mind around what I said. Then, she gasped. 

“Dave! Are you saying that this-” she pointed to my new home, “-is yours?”

“Indeed it is, neighbor,” I said, beaming.

“Neighbor!” Derpy said, gleefully. “You’re gonna be our neighbor! That’s wonderful!”

“Yay!!” squealed Dinky, as she hopped around my legs. Sparkler and Scootaloo looked thrilled.

“Believe me, I’ve been wanting to leap and shout for joy myself,” I said. “It’s been one heck of a weekend.”

“I can imagine,” said Sparkler. “Meeting the Princess, getting a job, buying a house…I’d be exhausted.”

“I am still a little exhausted,” I admitted. “I hope to sleep like a baby tonight.”

“Well, don’t sleep too late,” said Derpy. “Tomorrow’s the start of cider season.”

“Ah, that’s right,” I said. “I hope Applejack remembered to save a barrel in case…”

“Mama,” said Dinky, who had stopped bouncing around me, “why can’t Scootaloo and I have cider?”

“Yeah, Mom,” said Scootaloo, looking up at her adoptive mother, “why not?”

“You’re not old enough yet,” said Derpy. “Cider’s more of an older pony drink.”

“Aww, no fair,” huffed Dinky, pouting cutely.

“Is it that strong?” I asked, warily.

“Not too bad,” said Sparkler, “but it’s still too strong for little fillies.”

“I’m not a little filly,” said Scootaloo, grumpily crossing her hooves and sitting on her rump. “I’m a big filly!”

“Of course you are, Scootaloo,” giggled Sparkler, and she used the chance to tickle Scootaloo’s belly with her hoof, which effectively erased the grumpy frown from the filly’s face, making her break into giggles of her own.

“Of course,” I said, “all of you are welcome to visit anytime. I’ll try to get the house ready for visitors soon enough.”

“Oh, take your time,” said Derpy, “and you already were, but know that you’re always welcome to see us too, neighbor.”

She winked and smiled, giddy at the thought of the two of us living in such close proximity.

“Well, come on, girls,” she said at last, “it’s time to get dinner started.”

“See you later, Dave!” said Scootaloo, following her mother inside.

“Bye, Dave!” said Dinky, following suit.

“Bye, everypony!” I said, waving as they left, watching them go until the door closed behind them. It was going to be good having such nice ponies as neighbors…

“Well, that’s done,” came the gruff voice of the stallion. I turned to see him standing behind me.

“Ah, good. Thanks, sir. Here’s some for your efforts.”

I dug into my pocket and put about 5 bits into his saddlebag.

“Much obliged,” said the stallion, touching his hoof to his cap. “All in a day’s work.”

And, with a sweep of his wings, he took off into the sky, back toward the inner part of Ponyville.

As I stood outside, I wasn’t quite sure what I wanted to do first. Part of me wanted to go inside, unpack, and test out my new bed, but, looking towards the wood, I also felt an urge to visit Trixie and tell her how I had been doing. It wouldn’t hurt to stop over and at least see her…

With that resolution in mind, I dropped off my saddlebags in my bedroom, which still looked quite spacious with only the bed inside it, and, locking the door behind me with my new house key, I headed off toward Trixie’s Woods.


***


I knocked, as usual, on Trixie’s caravan door, and after I did, I heard a clatter of silverware. I must have interrupted her dinner. The top half of the door swung open, and sure enough, there was Trixie, wiping her mouth with a napkin held in her magic.

“Oh! Good evening,” she said, in something akin to her typical vocal grandeur, though it was friendlier than it had been. “I was wondering where you had gone to. I didn’t see you while I was walking around Ponyville incognito.”

I saw her give a glance to the inside of her caravan, and, following her eyes, I saw a large, black, hooded cloak hanging on the wall. That must have been what she used to go around without being noticed; her usual starry cape was way too conspicuous.

“Hi, Trixie. Sorry it’s been a while, but I’ve been super-busy. I don’t want to bother you, so I might as well say what I have to say out here.”

“No, I think you’d better come inside,” said Trixie, casting a wary look into the trees from where I had come. “I’ve found out there’s a family that lives nearby, and I wouldn’t want them to overhear and discover me.”

“Ohh, you must mean the Hooves’. I get your point, though.”

Trixie opened the door fully, and I stepped inside. The caravan seemed slightly more cramped than before, though this was probably because of the abundance of shopping bags packed into the back, full of freshly-bought market food. Trixie had done well to stock up.

“I was just finishing dinner,” said Trixie, indicating the little TV tray she had set by the bed, which was topped with a used dinner plate and utensils. “Sorry for the mess.”

“Oh, it’s fine,” I said.

Trixie whisked away the dishes and tray and sat beside me.

“So,” she said, giving her silvery mane a toss, “what’s been going on in the turbulent life of our Ponyvillian human?”

This sounded like it would have been sarcastic irony, and the tone did indeed seem to border on it, but there was a grin on Trixie’s face, so I let it drop and dove into what had happened after the last time I’d seen her: about Twilight sending my message back home, my decision to live in Ponyville under a royal stipend, Pinkie receiving the letter from her family, the Running of the Leaves, my new suit, going to Canterlot with Twilight and Rainbow Dash, meeting Princess Celestia, receiving my new job and stipendiary allowance, and purchasing my own home nearby.

This last news really seemed to strike Trixie.

“You bought a home near here? Why? I would have assumed you’d live closer to your pink friend.”

“I would have loved to have been able to,” I said, regretfully, “but there was nothing available. There were two bonuses with buying this house, though: living near the Hooves’, who have become dear friends of mine, and living near you.”

“Me?” asked Trixie, surprised. “You actually wanted to live near me?”

“Well, of course,” I said. “I thought you could use some company, since you don’t really want to be seen by anypony else.”

Trixie’s look of surprise briefly turned into a warm, appreciative smile, but almost as quickly, she cleared her throat and said, importantly,

“Well, obviously, you wanted to live within my vicinity. Who could possibly stay away for long from the Great and Powerful Trixie? It is impossible! I possess an irresistible magnetism that keeps my fans coming.”

I just rolled my eyes and chuckled. She still hadn’t changed that lofty attitude of hers.

“But at any rate,” she went on, “you seem to have had a very productive week, and it has only been your second, if I’m not mistaken.”

“Yep,” I said. “I’m already wondering what the rest of this year and the next will bring me.”

Trixie, however, suddenly changed countenance again, to a more serious expression.

“You said your pink friend received a letter from her family shortly after our last discussion?” she asked.

“Er, yeah,” I answered, not sure where she was going with this.

“You didn’t happen to make mention of my association with her family’s rock farm, did you?” asked Trixie, in a warning tone.

“Trixie, I gave my word,” I said, slightly affronted. “I said I wouldn’t, and I didn’t. You can trust me.”

Trixie continued to stare hard into my eyes, as if she were trying to read my mind, but finally relaxed and said,

“I know you didn’t. You may be a boy obsessed with happy endings for all-”

I ignored that.

“-but I can’t help finding myself trusting you. You have that…look to you.”

“You’re not the first to have pointed that out,” I said.

“And I, for my part,” said Trixie, “have only glimpsed Twilight Sparkle once or twice in my hidden wanderings, and as much as my soul ached to go over and give her a swift kick in that big, star-studded flank of hers…”

Her tone had become heated as she said this, but she finally sighed and said, calmly,

“I let her pass without speaking a word to her.”

“You are going to come out of hiding one of these days, aren’t you?” I asked.

“Eventually,” said Trixie, “but I wish to bide my time a little bit longer. I still need to think of what I will say to Twilight Sparkle; something that doesn’t involve me wanting to blast her to Jupiter…”

“Sounds like we’re making progress,” I said, in a hopeful tone.

She gave me another swift glance, probably from my choice of words, but she eventually just rolled her eyes with a smile.

“I really hope this can work out, Trixie,” I said. “I still say you deserve a second chance.”

“…Thank you, Dave,” said Trixie, in a soft, grateful tone. “I’m hoping it works out as well.”

“Well, then, I guess this is good night, then…neighbor.”

I held out my hand. She looked at it for a moment, then placed her hoof in it.

“Good night…neighbor.”

She smiled, and I smiled in return, before standing up and taking my leave of her caravan.


***


Finally. There was nothing to stop me, nothing else to do. I came home, went inside, and, without even bothering to change out of my clothes, collapsed on my back onto my bed. The mattress was unbelievably soft, and the pillow was cloud-like beneath my head. The bed the Cakes had provided for me hadn’t been uncomfortable, but this was heavenly compared to it, and it was all my own. The whole house was my own. I didn’t have to worry about being an expensive load to Pinkie or the Cakes anymore…It would be a little lonely without Pinkie, of course, but we’d already agreed that we would be able to see each other anytime.

I hated having to get back up, but knew that it was inevitable. I got up, changed into my pajamas, and set my bed up with its new sheets and comforter. Then, after making sure the windows were all closed and the front door was locked, I gratefully climbed into bed, letting the coolness of the sheets wash over my tired body, and immediately dozed off.


***
	

It felt as if I had barely closed my eyes before I found myself in the oddest dream I had had yet.

I was standing on what looked like a cliff, but the cliff…was made of chocolate.

Yeah, chocolate. The whole thing was one big chocolate bar, down to the individual square pieces that made it up. Delighted, I broke off a corner and bit into it. It was delicious…

Now that I had a better sense of my surroundings, I looked around me some more. It was as if I had been thrown into a world inspired by the Candyland board game, unless this was Homer Simpson’s Land of Chocolate, or maybe even Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Room. Either way, I was in sugar-coated heaven.

All of a sudden, I heard a loud thud, and the sound of branches shaking. Turning, I saw Applejack, who waved merrily to me before kicking out at a tree behind her. The tree seemed to be made of licorice, and the things hanging from its branches looked like lemon drops. The drops plummeted into little buckets set around the tree. So, was that lemon-bucking, or drop-bucking?…

My attention was again diverted by a loud ‘Whee!’. I turned and saw the four Crusaders, wrapped up in winter scarves, hats, and earmuffs, sliding on a giant graham cracker down a big mountain of ice cream. The four seemed to be alternating from squealing with joy to taking big licks of the ice cream as they went down. The sight made me laugh.

Then I saw Rarity trot past. She was wearing a dress that was red-and-white striped, like peppermint, and was bedecked with sparkling gumdrops. She looked quite dazzling.

Next, I heard a loud cheeping at my feet. Looking down, I saw what should have been a little baby chick, but it was unmistakably a Marshmallow Peep. It hopped and twittered until Fluttershy came over, nudging it gently with her nose to move it along, where it joined a flock of Peeps moving along to my other side. Behind her capered a row of colorful Gummy Bears.

I scanned the skies for a sign of Rainbow Dash, but was doomed to disappointment in looking for her there. Instead, I found her dancing on the spot in front of a large marshmallow, moving with the steps of one trying to be dodgy in boxing. She was lashing out with her hooves at the soft marshmallow, its squishy form absorbing the blows. It looked like the perfect punching bag.

Twilight, for her part, was standing by Spike, who was repeatedly shooting jets of flame from his mouth to heat up an enormous cauldron as tall as me. A smell of rich, melted chocolate was wafting from it. They were making fondue! Derpy, Sparkler, and Lyra were already standing by it, smelling its contents dreamily.

As I walked around, gazing at my friends enjoying this candy-covered landscape, I realized there was somepony missing, somepony who would most likely give anything to be in a world like this…

Her location was answered as I approached an elegant-looking chocolate sailing ship moored in a chocolate river. Through one of the portholes, I heard a munching noise, and even as I looked over the ship, I saw many teeth marks. Someone had been busy at it.

Then, all of a sudden, Pinkie’s front half came bursting through the porthole, knocking me back a few steps. She was wearing a little sailor cap atop her Pinkie frizzle, and her face was spotted with chocolate stains. She tried to clamber out, but seemed to be stuck as she pushed hard against the side of the ship. It was no wonder, as her body seemed to be filling up the whole space. 

Finally, she burst out, spraying chocolate everywhere, and I felt some splatter onto my face. Pinkie had landed in a sitting position on the ground, her belly nearly twice as round and plump as it usually was. She merely grinned and gave it a satisfied pat, making it bounce. She didn’t seem to have noticed me, even when she had come bursting out of the ship, but now she looked up and spotted me. She gave a delighted shout and, with surprising agility for a pony of her girth, pounced on me, knocking me onto my back, Unfortunately, she was very heavy, and I felt nearly crushed beneath her chubby stomach.

In the next instant, I saw her lean down and give me a swift lick on the cheek, probably to get the chocolate that had splashed onto me. This action, right out of the blue, flummoxed me additionally to having her considerable poundage resting atop me. When I looked up into that sunny smile of hers, however, I couldn’t stay mad at her, and I reached up and ruffled her mane.

There was a ringing sound, and the two of us looked up to see Spike standing on a ladder beside the fondue cauldron, ringing a bell. Twilight seemed to be calling everypony’s attention to it. Pinkie immediately bounded off of me and, surprisingly, was still able to go at her usual bouncing gait despite her swollen gut. I got up as well and followed. Everypony was gathered around the cauldron, where an assortment of different sweets and snacks were stationed. I saw them each pick something up and stand in a line by the ladder. It looked like they were taking turns dipping in the fondue. I picked up a banana and joined the line.

When my turn came, I stepped up the ladder and stood over the rim of the steaming, delicious-smelling pot of melted chocolate. I leaned over to dip the banana into it, but I must have leaned out too far, because I toppled in headfirst, drenching myself in hot chocolate. I heard several ponies shout, some banging on the side of the cauldron, and, in particular, I heard Twilight’s voice calling out,

“Dave!…Dave!…DAVE!”


***	


I awoke with a start. Sunlight was streaming in through the closed windows, and someone was pounding at my door, calling out to me.

“Dave! Open up! It’s me, Twilight!”

In a flurry, I jumped to my feet and, still in my pajamas, opened the door. Indeed it was Twilight, looking flustered.

“What’s the matter?” I asked.

“What’s the matter?” Twilight repeated, incredulous. “We’ve got to go! Cider season’s going to start soon! I just hope Applejack did save us a barrel after all. Get dressed and come to Sweet Apple Acres, quickly!”

And without waiting for me to reply, she galloped off.

Head still whirring from the crazy dream I had just had, I went back inside and got dressed, muttering as I did so,

“Big-Lipped Alligator Dreams…always the weirdest, but always the most fun…”
> Cider Season
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

By the time I arrived at Sweet Apple Acres, I was astonished, and a little distressed, to find a huge line of ponies extending from the barn all the way across the hills. Well, I should say that I would have arrived at Sweet Apple Acres, but the end of the line was about a mile or so away from the start. Shading my eyes, I could just see a small wooden stand, similar to a lemonade stand, set up near the barn, and a towering pyramid of wooden barrels. I could barely make out a spot of pink at the head of the line. So Pinkie had made it to the front after all. I wondered how early she had had to get up to make it there…

“There you are! Come over here!”

I turned. Twilight was waving me over. Rarity was standing in front of her, and she in turn was standing in front of Spike, Fluttershy, and Rainbow Dash. Rainbow was looking bad-tempered.

“How did you all end up way back here?” I asked, coming over to stand behind the grumpy pegasus. “I thought you’d be getting up early to be at the front of the pack.”

“We would have been,” grumbled Rainbow, “but Rarity held us up.”

“I already told you, Rainbow Dash,” retorted Rarity, “I was up late finishing a V.I.D. for a V.I.C.”

“A huh for a whuh?” asked Rainbow, confused. She wasn’t the only one bewildered.

“A Very Important Dress for a Very Important Client,” said Rarity, wearily. “It’s boutique lingo. Anyway, I refuse to waste a single hour of my beauty sleep…”

She held her head loftily, and I heard Rainbow give a low, disgruntled growl.

“Well, from the look of things,” said Fluttershy, briefly fluttering in place, “there’s a lot more barrels than last time.”

“Well, good!” said Rainbow. “Maybe we’ll get a chance to get some this time.”

From across the stretch of land between us and the cider stand, I heard Applejack’s voice, magnified by a megaphone or something.

“Attention, all! Cider season is now officially open!”

Slowly, very slowly, the line began to jerk forward, one pony at a time.

“Is Sweet Apple Acres cider that popular?” I asked.

“Of course it is!” said Rainbow. “It’s only available one week a year. You gotta get it while it’s hot!”

“Besides,” said Twilight, “cider sales help the family through the winter. A lot of customers means another good winter for them.”

“Ahh, I see. Well, I guess it’s good to have such a huge line, then, from Applejack’s perspective.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Rainbow consented, grumpily, “but that doesn’t help the fact that I’ve hardly ever been able to get any cider. Pinkie always takes more than her fair share.”

“But she promised she was going to limit herself to one mug this year,” I said. “She told me herself.”

“Did she?” asked Rainbow, sounding relieved. “Well, good. Pinkie never goes back on her own promises.”

The line continued to jerk slowly forward, and I could see all of the ponies already served milling around the area, taking deep drinks from the wooden mugs they had been given. Must have been tough to use hooves to carry them. As we got closer, I could see the stand a bit more clearly. A large barrel was connected to a tap, which Apple Bloom was operating. Granny Smith was supervising, wearing a green visor cap, and standing by a small treasure chest that was already brimming with bits. Occasionally, the tap would splutter, meaning the barrel was empty. Big Macintosh then came forward, removed the empty one, and replaced it with one from the stack.

As we got nearer, however, the stack of full barrels grew smaller and smaller. Several ponies were still ahead of us when the last barrel was brought forth, and we were the only ones at the back. Everypony else had been wise and had come earlier.

The last in front of Rarity was Berry Punch, who gripped her mug and, as she was walking away, spotted me.

“Oh! It’s you!” she said, in a genial tone. “How are you?”

“Hi, Berry,” I said. “I’m doing all right. You?”

Berry suddenly looked rather embarrassed.

“Oh, not bad,” she said. “I, uh…never had the chance to properly thank you for helping me last week. I kinda get a little loopy when I’m…testing my brews. Did I do anything…weird?”

Her purple cheeks were tinged with a red that rivaled that of the strawberry on her flank.

“Nothing too weird,” I said. “A few random phrases here and there, maybe, but nothing too bad.”

I didn’t dare mention the fact that she had tipsily kissed me; it might have made her die of embarrassment. She looked immensely relieved.

“Oh, good,” she said. “And thanks for getting rid of those empty bottles. I really needed to get off my lazy rump to do it myself, but I’m glad you helped me.”

“It was no big deal,” I said, confident that, as a teetotaler, I wouldn’t have to put up with what she experienced.

With a smile, Berry joined the pack of chatting cider drinkers.

My attention was diverted by a savage growl from Rainbow Dash. Rarity was standing at the counter, and the tap had given out on the last barrel. She and the others looked disappointed, but Rainbow Dash was looking livid.

“Now, don’t you start getting saddle-sore,” warned Applejack, who came up. “Did y’all think Ah’d forget?”

She whistled to Big Macintosh, and, from behind a thick tree, he rolled out a hidden full barrel. The look of animosity on Rainbow’s face instantly vanished, replaced with one of rapt anticipation.

“AJ, you’re a lifesaver!” she said, as she received her mug in turn.

“Think nothin’ of it, Rainbow,” said Applejack. 

At last, as the last in line, it was my turn. I dropped in my two bits, and Apple Bloom shoved down on the tap lever, filling the wooden mug below it with golden apple cider.

“This is gonna be yer first taste of cider, isn’t it?” asked Applejack.

“Yep,” I said, picking up the mug.

“Well, enjoy, sugarcube. Apple Family cider is always made with time and care.”

“Then I’ll bet it’s extra-delicious,” I said, earning big smiles from the Apples, and I went to join the others. 

Everypony was drinking happily, but Rainbow Dash was chugging deeply from her mug, a dreamy look on her face. I looked down at my own mug, gazing at the gold-colored brew within.

“Well, bottoms up,” I said, and took a sip.

…

It was as if my tongue had exploded.

My entire head seemed to be set alight by the tart, sweet flavor invading my mouth. I could taste two, three, no, four different types of apples, all blended into a delicious, fruity, wonderful concoction! Oh, now I saw why it was so sought after; it was heaven in a mug, a celebration for the taste buds! 

“Wow!” I managed to exclaim. “This stuff has some kick to it!”

“Doesn’t it, though?” asked Rainbow, a spot of foam dotting her lip.

“Hey, Dash,” I said, “You got a little somethin’ right there.”

Rainbow clumsily wiped at her snout, laughing. She seemed to be slightly tipsy. With a shrug, I drained my mug.

In an instant, a warm, pleasant feeling seemed to fill up my head from my chin to my scalp, as if it was a goldfish bowl being filled. The feeling became a blissful euphoria, and the world began to look bright and cheerful, more so. I hiccupped, and even laughed to myself, without really knowing why.

I wasn’t quite sure what was going on with me. I’d never drunk alcohol before in my life, nor had I ever wanted to. Too many health education classes had pounded what drinking could do to a person into my brain. Still, I wasn’t entirely sure if I really was drunk or not. Sparkler had told me cider wasn’t too strong, yet was not for foals. Spike was just a kid, but then, maybe dragons were made of tougher stuff than young ponies. But still, having never been drunk before, I didn’t know if this euphoric sensation was drunkenness, or just a giddy happiness the deliciousness of the cider had introduced into my brain. Whatever it was, it felt good. I felt like I could do anything: break into a dance, sing at the top of my lungs, anything!

In fact…why not?

“You know,” I said, loudly, drawing attention from the ponies around me, “I’m suddenly reminded of an old song. It’s a kind of silly song, so I dunno if you’d all wanna hear it, but-”

I broke off, not really sure how to pursue the statement. Many ponies laughed politely, while others, Rainbow Dash among them, urged me to go on. Clearly, they didn’t care if the song was stupid.

“Well, all right,” I said, “you’ve been warned.”

And I began to sing, and as I did, I began to dance a little as well. I must have looked stupid, but nopony seemed to mind. I really wasn’t paying much attention as I went. The lyrics weren’t exactly as they were supposed to be, but I think, looking back, it worked out better that way.

I feel witty
Oh, so witty
I feel witty and happy and bright
And I pity any man who isn’t me tonight

I feel charming
Oh, so charming
It’s alarming how charming I feel
And so witty, that I hardly can believe I’m real

See that witty man in that mirror there?
Who can that handsome boy be?
Such a witty face
Such a witty eye
Such a witty smile
Such a witty me!

I feel stunning
And entrancing
Feel like running and dancing for joy
For I feel like a witty, wonderful boy!


As I paused to take breath, I could have sworn I heard two other ponies joining in, and I recognized them as Berry and Rainbow, sounding just as elated as I did.

Have you meet our dear Dave, the human
The craziest boy on the block
You’ll know him the minute you see him
He’s the one who is in an advanced state of shock
He thinks he’s a laugh, and it may sound vain
He is quite a laugh, but also insane
It could be the heat, or some rare disease
Or too much to eat, or maybe it’s fleas
Keep away from him, he’s contagious
His behavior is quite outrageous
Modest, polite, and lovably kind
Cautious, unsure, and out of his mind!


There was laughter all around me, and even I joined in. It was all made in jest, after all, so I dove into the next verse.

I feel witty
Oh, so witty
That this ditty is my masterpiece
A committee would be honored with me, at least

I feel dizzy
Oh, so dizzy
I feel dizzy and fizzy and fine
And so witty
That the comics can just resign

See that witty man in that mirror there?
(What mirror, where?)
Who can that handsome boy be?
(Which one, where?)
Such a witty face
Such a witty eye
Such a witty smile
Such a witty me!

I feel stunning
(He feels stunning!)
And entrancing
(And entrancing!)
Feel like running and dancing for joy
For I feel like a witty, wonderful boy!


I held on the last note for a big finish. There was applause all around as I concluded, as well as some more laughter. At the same time, the goofy, tipsy feeling in my head faded away, and I suddenly felt heavy in my limbs. Wherever I was, I flopped onto my back, I heard somepony scream, and then, everything went black…


***


“…Is he gonna be all right?”

“I had no idea he was such a lightweight.”

“Hush! Don’t say that! Besides, you were rather tipsy today.”

“Shut up! I was caught in the moment!”

“Look! I think he’s coming around!”

The voices around me seemed to be coming through a long tunnel, and, as I opened my eyes, I only saw a blurry mishmash of distorted color all around me.

“Dave! Can you hear me? How many fingers do you see?”

The blurb that most resembled Spike held up his claw, but there was a sea of innumerable swirling fingers in front of me.

I shut my eyes, shook my head, which was aching, and reopened them. Twilight and her friends were leaning over me, looking down at me with concerned faces. As I sat up, I looked about. I was still on Sweet Apple Acres, but it looked otherwise deserted.

“What happened?” I asked, groggily. “Why does my head hurt?”

“Well,” began Twilight, delicately, “you, uh…how do I put this?”

“You went on a wicked cider bender,” said Rainbow Dash.

“Rainbow!” snapped Twilight.

“Bender? But I thought cider was harmless.”

“Well, that’s mostly true,” said Applejack, “but some brews can turn out just a wee bit stronger than others.”

“But-but you girls drank from the same barrel, and I don’t see any of you still sprawled out on the grass!”

“That is because we are more or less used to it,” said Rarity. “Although, on reflection, perhaps it just has a different effect on non-ponies. Or non-dragons, for that matter,” she added, glancing at Spike.

“Maybe,” said Twilight, interested. “Maybe Equestrian cider works differently on humans! Fascinating!”

“Fascinating?” I asked. “Try bizarre. I felt really weird after drinking that stuff. All I remember was an old song coming into my head, but not much after that. Did I do anything…embarrassing?”

The ponies and Spike looked at each other, warily. It seemed to confirm my fears. Rainbow and Pinkie, however, both looked highly amused.

“All right, spit it out,” I groaned, braced for the worst. “What did I do?”

I was honestly hoping that I hadn’t done anything like parade around with my pants at my ankles, or said anything rude or offensive.

“Nothing too weird,” said Pinkie, still fighting back giggles. “All you did was sing and dance around.”

“It was a very catchy song,” admitted Fluttershy.

“So catchy that Dashie and Berry joined in!” said Pinkie. Rainbow shot her a pointed look.

“And when you got to the end,” said Rarity, “you went to that tree-” she pointed out the tree behind me, “and sort of clung to a branch with your foot on the trunk, and then you just plummeted and conked out.”

I felt a rising burning feeling in my cheeks. That did sound stupid to witness. I didn’t dare ask what song I had been singing…

“Don’t worry about it, Dave,” said Applejack. “We’ve all done some stupid things after our first mug.”

“Not me!” said Rainbow, abruptly.

“Oh yeah?” asked the farm mare, giving Rainbow a singular look. “Ah seem to recall a certain pegasus claiming she could punch a hole in the moon after her first taste of cider, and ended up with her head in a beehive.”

Everypony laughed, while Rainbow glared icily at Applejack. As embarrassing as that was, I supposed it was some comfort to know that my reaction to the cider wasn’t completely alien. Still, it wasn’t something I’d want to repeat.

“Applejack,” I said, “your cider was delicious, but I’m not sure if I’d be too keen to drink it again anytime soon, if it’s going to do that to me.”

“Ah understand, sugar,” said Applejack, kindly. “The important thing is that you tried it for yerself. You ain’t the first who decided it wasn’t fer them.”

“Well, good,” I said. “I guess I’d better head home, then. Later, girls.”

I got stiffly to my feet and gave the ponies a wave by means of farewell as I walked off.

“Bye, Dave!” they called.

“And thanks for the entertainment!” added Pinkie, chortling.

“Pinkie!” snapped Twilight and Rarity together. I just rolled my eyes and kept on walking, the pain in my head having receded slightly, but my brain still befuddled.


***


As I drew near home, however, I found a very unwelcome sight waiting at my doorstep…

Ironmane.

He was looking disgruntled, and was carrying a small bag in his telekinesis.

“You are late,” he said, tersely, as I approached.

“Late for what?” I asked, puzzled in spite of my loathing of his presence.

“Your stipendiary allowances are to be issued every Monday,” he said, crisply. “It gives you a fresh start for the week ahead. I have been waiting here for nearly an hour.”

“Sorry,” I apologized, “I was attending cider season.”

“So I gathered from the ponies returning from Sweet Apple Acres,” said Ironmane, a faint sneer on his lips. “You apparently made quite a scene after drinking only one mug. Dancing and singing as if it were New Year’s Eve.” He shook his head with an amused sort of smile. “Dear me, not even a full day as a resident of Ponyville and you’ve already managed to make yourself the talk of the town again. I trust there will not be a repeat of this. It would not look good on your record as a member of the Round Table.”

“It was only my first mug!” I snapped, heatedly. “Have you ever had cider, Minister?”

“I have,” said Ironmane, “but in more reasonable moderation. I won’t lie, Apple family cider is quite refreshing, but to think it would cause such an effect on a non-pony. I regret that I did not see it for myself…”

He was still smiling unpleasantly at me, and I felt a great desire to grab him by that beard of his and yank it right off his chin. All I could do, however, was to keep my eyes focused on his, fists clenched.

“In any case,” Ironmane went on, holding the bag out to me, “your allowance. You’ll find it should secure a reasonable amount of provisionary groceries, but try not to spend it all on...intoxicants.”

The blood pounded in my ears as I accepted the bag, but I willed myself to say,

“Thank you.”

Ironmane’s expression did not change, but, with a sweep of his cloak, he strode off without a word.

Of all the nerve! That insufferable, condescending, uptight son of a-

It was an extreme effort of the will to keep myself from shouting expletives into the open air. If this was what it was going to be to have that miserable sneering old bat popping in every Monday...Thank God I had Pinkie and her friends, or it might prove unendurable...

I looked into the bag. The contents were pretty meager, but I supposed I could still stretch them to make them work. With that in mind, I made for the Ponyville marketplace to do some grocery shopping.

I passed by many ponies I knew by sight as I went along, most of which muttered as I passed, and stifled laughter behind their hooves. It seemed my little stunt was still fresh on their minds. Then again, why wouldn’t it? It only happened that morning. Still, the way they were all gazing at me, laughing secretly, it made me feel like they were devoting the same kind of attention as when I had first arrived, only much more unpleasant…Even ponies who I was really friendly with, like Lyra and Bon Bon, were gazing at me and then smirking to each other. I didn’t like it…

In the time after cider season had ended for the day, it seemed, Big Macintosh had taken over operating the market apple stall. Gratefully, I headed over to purchase some apples.

“Hey, Big Mac. Did you happen to see what happened during today’s cider sale?” I asked, warily.

Big Macintosh tilted his head quizzically.

“I, uh…kinda made an idiot of myself in front of the others,” I admitted.

“Ah,” said Big Mac. “Eeyup, Ah saw that. You were pretty funny.”

“Er…”

“First time drinkin’ cider?”

“That easy to spot, huh?”

Big Mac chuckled. “Ah know a greenhorn when Ah see one. No offense.”

“Oh, none taken. I don’t drink, normally. It’s just I was told that stuff was tame.”

“It’s tame for ponies, usually. ‘Course, we always keep a store of hard cider for other occasions.”

“Hard cider??” I asked, flabbergasted. “If regular cider did that to me, hard cider would outright kill me!”

Big Mac chuckled again. “It is pretty strong. We’ve gotta keep Rainbow Dash from trying to sneak a bottle every cider season.”

“She really loves that stuff, doesn’t she?”

“She’s missed a lot of chances at gettin’ it, so she grabs whatever chance she can. Heck, everypony jumps at the chance when cider season rolls around.”

“That stuff is good,” I admitted, handing over a small handful of bits for some apples, “but I don’t think it’s for me. Well, thanks, Big Mac. I’ll see you later.”

“Eeyup.”


***


Milling around the marketplace, I didn’t think I’d get much with my allowance, and while it was rather normal stuff that I ended up buying, I don’t think it went too badly. In the end, I had to settle with apples, eggs, bread, butter, cheese, carrots, corn, and milk. Not exactly worthy of a feast, but it would get me by. Big Mac and Golden Harvest had been kind enough to give me slight discounts, though I would have been comfortable to pay full price. I didn’t always feel comfortable when people played favoritism with me.

I headed for home, arms laden with shopping bags, and not really in the mood to walk around Ponyville some more if I was going to be gawked at. I shut the door behind me and drew the curtains. It made me feel like a shut-in, but at the moment, all I wanted was peace and quiet and an undisturbed lunch. I wondered if the talk would ever die down.

To my surprise and relief, the kitchen seemed to already be stocked with a good supply of cookware: pots, pans, utensils, plates, the works. They had either been left by the previous occupant, or else somehow put there as part of my stipend. At least I wouldn’t have to worry about purchasing my own set. I was prepared to settle down for a meal of buttered bread and apple, not exactly glamorous, but it was a start.

“Wonder how the rest of the Round Table would see me,” I muttered to myself, setting up. “Their first human member, stuck at home eating bread and apples for lunch…Well, I suppose you have to start somewhere.”

There was a knock at the door.

Curious, I got up and opened it to find Derpy standing there.

“Hi. Dave,” she said, smiling.

“Oh. Hi, Derpy,” I said. Then, remembering the secretive whispers and laughter everypony had been giving me today, I added, “If you came to laugh, guess we’d better get it over with.”

“Laugh?” asked Derpy, puzzled. “Oh! If you’re talking about what happened at Sweet Apple Acres-”

“Yeah, I am,” I responded, a bit angrier than I really felt. “I get it, I was being a complete buffoon. There’s no need for everypony to rub it in my face!”

“I wasn’t,” said Derpy, in a slightly hurt voice. “I would never…I just wanted to see if you wouldn’t mind coming over. Sparkler’s gone back to work, and the kids are at school, so I have the house to myself. Perhaps we could have lunch.”

My brief surge of anger faded, leaving a very guilty feeling. I had just snapped at Derpy, when she never did anything wrong. Besides, lunch with her would be a lot more fulfilling than the paltry meal I was going to put together.

“Oh. Derpy, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap like that. I’m just still a little sore about how I behaved, and it’s already going around like gossip. Of course I’ll join you for lunch.” I added, kindly.

Derpy smiled again, and led the way as I followed, locking the door behind me.


***


Lunch with Derpy consisted of sandwiches, hot chocolate, and, of course, muffins, this time corn, which actually was one of my top favorites. She was still amused about how I had acted after drinking, but was being good-natured about it rather than insulting, like Ironmane. Speaking of him, Derpy brought him up as we ate.

“Who was that pony standing at your door earlier?”

“Which one?” I asked, wiping muffin crumbs from my lips.

“Kinda pale brown, gray mane and beard, wearing a cape.”

“Ah. That’s Ironmane, Celestia’s minister of foreign affairs.”

“Foreign affairs? But what would he want with you?” asked Derpy, sipping her cup of cocoa.

“Well, since I’m not native to Equestria, I’m technically his responsibility,” I said, grimly. “He’s going to deliver my stipend allowance every week. It’s not going to be much, since I’m on-call.”

“Oh, I see. Does he at least treat you with respect?”

I gave a hollow laugh.

“If you can call constantly being called ‘human’ respect.”

Derpy frowned, her wonky eyes aligning correctly as she did so, and I felt her hoof on the back of my hand. I couldn’t help but detect a hint of Mama Bear-ish-ness in her, which I totally respected.

“It’s his professional courtesy, I think,” I said. “He deals with foreign creatures all the time, and has to be on his toes about anything they could potentially do. I don’t exactly take kindly to such a coarse treatment, but I don’t have to deal with him much…only once a week.”

“It’ll be fine,” said Derpy. “He’s at least helping you by giving you your weekly allowance.”

“I suppose, although it’s not much help at the moment. I can’t really buy much food or other commodities.”

“Oh…” said Derpy, sympathetically. “Well, why don’t you take some food home with you?”

“Now, Derpy, I couldn’t-” I began, feeling a rush of embarrassment.

“I insist,” said Derpy, firmly. 

It was exactly the same tone Rarity used whenever I came upon the subject of paying her for her material kindness. I was slightly cowed at hearing it, because it made me imagine her using the same tone on her children.

“Well, if you insist,” I muttered, and her kind smile returned. I decided to change the subject. “So, do you enjoy working as a mail-mare?”

“It’s great!” she said. “I used to work delivering much larger packages: pianos, anvils, heavy-duty stuff.”

“Whoa.”

“Yeah. Unfortunately, there were a few…accidents,” she said, delicately, “so I was transferred to the daily post. It’s a lot easier, of course, but didn’t pay as well. Still, I’m not complaining today. Sparkler’s in the jewelry business, and Scootaloo’s still working her paper route. In fact,” she added, reflectively, “you might be getting the paper she delivers tomorrow, now that she knows you’re living in that house.”

“Cool! What is it?”

“The Ponyville Express,” said Derpy. “It’s not exactly as juicy or exciting as the Foal Free Press used to be, but-”

“The huh-what?” I asked, confused.

“The Foal Free Press. It’s a school newspaper, run by the little foals at Cheerilee’s school.”

“Aww, that sounds cute.”

“Well, it wasn’t for a while,” said Derpy, darkly. “It was put under new management, and it started churning out a nasty gossip column: Gabby Gums. It was funny for a while, until…”

“Until you see yourself in the paper?” I asked.

“Exactly. ’Pinkie Pie Is an Out of Control Party Animal!’ ‘Fluttershy Has Tail Extensions!’ ‘The Drama Queen Dairies: Rarity’s Deepest Beans Spilled!’ And worse!”

“No! They never!” I said, scandalized. Pinkie was a little out of control, but Fluttershy having tail extensions? Rarity’s innermost secrets publicized? How dare this ‘Gabby Gums’!

“Do you know what it wrote about me?”

“What?”

“‘Derpy Hooves: Older Than She Looks?’! It was all about making me look like an old maid when comparing me with Sparkler! Now, I’ll admit, I’m not exactly a spring chicken,” she said, rather ruefully, “but of all the nerve!”

That did sound very rude and personal, especially as it was a slam against such an innocent mare.

“Who was it?” I asked, hotly. “Who was the little sleaze who was spreading the gossip?”

Derpy flinched at the word ‘sleaze’, and I saw a trace of tears in her eyes.

Suddenly, a suspicion, a guess, hit my brain with an unwelcome thud.

“…Derpy,” I said, quietly, shocked. “It wasn’t…it couldn’t have been…Scootaloo?”

“…Not just Scootaloo,” said Derpy, “but Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom.”

“W-What?! Those three?? No! They can’t have! They’re so sweet, so innocent!”

“I know, I know, but I’m also certain they would never behave like that intentionally!” said Derpy. “I suppose they were just caught up in the excitement of finding something they were good at.”

“Something they’re good at…” I muttered. “It’s a scary thought to think of writing slander as your born destiny…”

“I know…I won’t deny we were rather angry with them for a while, but they published a full apology for everything that had said and done, and…well, we couldn’t stay mad at them for long. They’d done stupider things in the past, though perhaps not as hurtful. They’re only kids, after all.”

“Yeah.” I allowed myself a small laugh. “I wonder what they’ll drag me into when they decide to take me Crusading.”

Derpy laughed as well, then looked at the clock.

“Oh, goodness! Look at the time! I suppose that’s what happens when you go for a later lunch.” She got to her hooves. “I’m sorry, Dave, but I need to pick up the kids from school soon. I’ll just be a minute.”

She laid a fine cloth out on the table and began putting in a few fresh corn muffins and one of the sandwiches left over. She tied it up neatly and handed it to me.

“Thanks, Derpy,” I said, accepting it.

“You’re welcome,” said Derpy, kindly. “Don’t be a stranger now, neighbor.”

“Oh, I won’t be,” I said, “trust me.”

She giggled and saw me out the door back towards my house. As I stopped by my own door, I saw her lock her front door and take off toward Ponyville, waving to me as she did so. I returned the gesture, then headed inside.

It still felt a little awkward accepting favors from ponies when I lacked what I needed, but at least today I had gotten a start in managing my own affairs. I still wished my allowance could have been a little more. Then again, I could still do some odd jobs around Ponyville for some extra bits. It was something to think about, anyway.

The rest of the day passed blissfully as I remained inside, ensconced in my room and with the books Rainbow Dash had gotten me sitting on my bedside table. When I had drawn them from my saddlebags, however, I noticed another book inside that I hadn’t seen before. On the cover was Daring Do, gazing at a silver goblet, while an ominous, bird-like shadow loomed over her. The title read, ‘Daring Do and the Griffin’s Goblet’.

Puzzled at how it had gotten into my bag, I opened the cover and found a small note written in very precise, neat lettering.

“I thought you might like to read this one since you enjoyed the first so much. Enjoy! -T.S.”

I smiled.

“Thanks, Twi,” I muttered, and decided to read it first.
> A Great and Powerful Argument
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Over the course of the rest of the week, I followed something like a routine. Every morning I’d get up and get the morning paper to read over breakfast. Unfortunately, I was a heavy sleeper, and woke up too late to see Scootaloo go by to deliver it personally. I hadn’t received any letters yet, so I didn’t see Derpy go by, either. It didn’t matter much. Even at home, I was usually the one who never got any mail. I didn’t even have anypony’s address, so how could we correspond that way anyway? 

Then, with everypony else occupied during cider season, I took that time to pop by Trixie’s and visit her in the morning on those days, see how she was getting on. On Tuesday, she was pleasant enough in her way. She was no longer bitter and condescending, and spoke very freely with me. She had heard about my stunt yesterday and found it very amusing, even going so far as to tell me parts of the song I had sung she knew. I’ll admit, my cheeks burned when I realized it was a parody of ‘I Feel Pretty’, but I thanked God that it hadn’t been the original I had sung. If it had been…

That was beside the point, however. As the week passed, I couldn’t help but notice that something seemed…off about her. I couldn’t quite put my finger on it, but it had something to do with how she looked. It didn’t become apparent until Wednesday, when I definitely saw that something was not right with the show-mare. She seemed…tired, less active than normal. The energetic spark that shone whenever she praised herself seemed to have dulled, like a light losing battery power. She seemed more lethargic, like the fire was going out of her.

I had no clue what to make of it. All I knew was that, as the week passed, she was less talkative, more inclined to simply lie on her bed while I sat beside her. I didn’t let it show, but I was getting more and more concerned for her. If it kept up, who knows what could happen to her? She might never want to come out again, and she’d just stay there in that dusty, cramped wagon, never to try and reclaim the fame she had lost, to try and make amends for her past mistakes…

I was still brooding over this as I exited the woods that Wednesday. I’d have to tell her eventually. She needed someone to put their foot down about how she was acting. She needed an intervention…

As I was nearing home, however, I noticed something odd next door. The door to the adjacent house, the one inhabited by the nameless pony, was ajar. Through the crack, I could just see an eye of forget-me-not blue peering out, looking straight at me. Whoever it was seemed to notice that I had observed them, and the door snapped shut.

This odd occurrence gave me pause. I never had taken the time to find out who my mystery neighbor was. I had contented myself with saying that they didn’t want visitors, and just wanted to be left alone. Still, it had been rude of me to ignore their presence completely. Well, why not? It was never too late to be neighborly.

I went over and knocked at the door.

No one answered.

“Hello?” I called.

Still, no one answered.

“I’m sorry to bother you,” I continued. “I just thought we might have a chat, as neighbors, you know.”

The silence persisted.

“…Well,” I said, uncomfortably, “I guess you’re busy. Maybe next time, then?”

Once more, I was greeted by no sound at all, so I just stepped away.

I had just barely turned around, however, when I bumped into someone right behind me. Stumbling back, I saw that the pony I had just rammed into was Cheerilee.

“Oh my gosh! Cheerilee, I’m sorry! I didn’t notice you there!”

“Oh, it’s quite all right,” said Cheerilee, a hoof to the side of her head, but smiling. “I guess I shouldn’t have snuck up like that. How are you?”

“Can’t complain, given the little episode I had on Monday. You?”

“Very well, thank you. I was hoping to find you here, actually. I have a request for you.”

“A request?”

“Yes. We were supposed to have a guest speaker tomorrow, but he told me he would be unable to attend after all. I was wondering, perhaps, if you would like to take his place, perhaps answer some questions about the human world as you know it.”

For the briefest moment, I felt a twinge of nervousness pass through my body. Speak in front of an entire class of foals? Me? I was terrible at public speeches!…Then again, I had helped Twilight earn extra credit with her questions about humans…Could it work twice? Not only that, but Cheerilee was very kind, and it would have been rude of me to refuse point-blank.

“Well,” I said, “I suppose it couldn’t hurt. I just don’t want to fill your students’ minds with the wrong ideas.”

“Oh, there’s no need to worry about that,” said Cheerilee. “Just do the best you can. What harm can it do?”

(Plenty, I thought to myself. Ironmane would find an excuse to call it a problem if he found out…)

But even as I thought this, I felt a rising resentment against Ironmane. Who cares what he thought? He wasn’t the boss of me, even if I was his charge!

“You know what, Cheerilee?” I said, smiling confidently. “I will visit your class tomorrow.”

“Wonderful!” said Cheerilee, elated. “I knew you would! How does noon sound? It’s right after lunch.”

“Sounds perfect!” I said. “I’ll be there.”

“Thank you, Dave! Oh, this is going to be fantastic! I’d heard about your talk with Twilight on the same subject. It’s what gave me the idea, in fact! Well, see you tomorrow!”

“Bye!” I said, and Cheerilee trotted off, looking joyful.

“Right, then,” I said, more to myself. “I’d better devote my time into getting my facts straight. I don’t want those colts and fillies running away with any false ideas, even if I’d never want that in the first place.”

And I went back into my house to prepare.


***


I didn’t visit Trixie that Thursday morning, but decided it was best to give her a little space. I didn’t want her to feel smothered. I forgot to mention that she had been rather moody yesterday, actually. I had made the very merest mention of the possibility of her going out, and her tone had become flinty when she responded that she ‘wasn’t in the mood to think about it’. She needed time to herself, so I gave it to her.

At a quarter to noon, I arrived at the Ponyville schoolhouse, and could hear the excited chatter of the foals as they played and ate their lunch. Once more, I was reminded of my more carefree boyhood days, although they hadn’t always made me eager to remember them. I had been a weird, excitable kid back then, sensitive and overly-influenced by the cartoons I watched back then. The other kids had given me something like a wide berth whenever I acted like this, and couldn’t blame them. I always felt a guilty knot twist in the pit of my gut in thinking about what they must have thought of me today…

None of the other kids seemed to have noticed me come to the schoolyard, and I entered Cheerilee’s classroom undetected. Many rows of little desks and chairs filled the center of the room, and I wondered just how many students she taught at once, and if she was the only teacher in Ponyville at all.

She was sitting at her desk, a stack of papers to her left, and she was writing small notes on one in front of her with a red pen clutched in her teeth. As she finished and stacked it on top, she caught sight of me.

“Ah! Hello, Dave. You’re early.”

“Yeah, sorry about that,” I said. “I always liked being early for class. Helps me pick out a good seat, you know.”

“Oh, of course,” said Cheerilee, genially. “Lunch will be wrapping up any minute now, so you shouldn’t have long to wait.”

Sure enough, about 10 minutes later, the school bell rang, and the noise and tumult of the students returning filled the air. They filed into the class and sat at their desks, where their attention finally caught on my presence. All of them stared, but only Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo looked thrilled to see me. They waved energetically, and I waved back. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon had become rather stony-faced, evidently suspicious of what I was doing here.

“Class,” said Cheerilee, “I know I said Mr. Le Grande would be visiting from the Griffin Kingdom to speak about his homeland, but unfortunately, he is tied up with a particularly tricky baking project, and is unable to attend. So, instead, I have called upon Mr. Dave to talk about a few things about where he comes from.”

“Hello, kids,” I said, smiling.

A few of the colts and fillies said “Hello,” albeit nervously.

“Now, don’t be shy,” said Cheerilee. “Does anypony have any questions for him?”

“Anything about humans?” I supplied, hopefully.

For a while, no one spoke or moved.

“No? Not yet?” I asked. “Well, let me start us off, then. I’m not sure how much of you know, but I’m not exactly an ‘Equestrian’ human. That means I’m not from Equestria, or even from any of the lands it has as neighbors. I’m from a completely different world altogether.”

Many fillies and colts ‘Oooh’ed at this.

“Now, with that in mind, does anypony have any questions about what there is where I come from?” I asked, looking around.

Finally, somepony did raise their hoof: a filly sitting behind Apple Bloom. She was a pale, whitish color with a curly, poofy red mane and wearing thick glasses.

“Yes? Miss, er…”

“Twitht, Mithter Dave,” said the filly, with a prominent lisp. Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon smirked at each other unpleasantly.

“Ah, yes, Twist,” I said. “You have a question?”

“What do humanth eat? Do they have candy like we do where you come from?”

From where I stood, I could just barely make out her cutie mark: a pair of candy canes crossed over one another.

“Why, yes we do,” I said, “nearly all, if I’m not mistaken, the same kinds you ponies enjoy. I'm quite fond of Bon Bon's Bonbons, actually.”

Twist beamed.

“Anypony else?”

Another pony, seeming to have gained courage from Twist’s question, raised his hoof. He was a chubby gray colt with a black mane, a cutie mark of a knife and fork on his flank.

“Yes?” I asked.

“Truffle Shuffle, Mr. Dave,” he said. “What do humans like to do for fun?”

“Oh, all sorts of things,” I said. “It really depends on where you live, or what time you lived during. Men like hunting, fishing, building, or watching sporting events. Women are usually more contented with reading, sewing, knitting, cooking, stuff more inclined towards the home. That’s changing, of course, as the years go on. Women are doing more of what men can do, though men aren’t so enthused about doing what women do.”

Several ponies laughed. They were certainly becoming more and more at ease. A little pink unicorn with a darker purple mane raised her hoof now.

“Yes?”

“Ruby Pinch, Mr. Dave,” she said. “Do humans have schools like we do?”

“Ah, another good question,” I said. “We do indeed, Ruby Pinch. I’m not sure how Equestrian education works, but we go from about 6 years old, at kindergarten, through 6 years of elementary school, 2 of middle school, another 4 in high school, and then another 4 through college, by the end of which, we are ready to take on the world as adults.”

Apple Bloom raised her hoof next.

“Yes, Apple Bloom?”

“What kinda stuff do you learn?”

“All sorts. English, math, science, geography, physical education (never a personal favorite of mine, to be honest...)”

This got some laughs from the kids. They seemed to be enjoying the prospect of learning about the human world. Question after question popped up so fast, it was all I could do to keep up with it all.

“Do humans grow their own food?”

“How do humans get around?”

“Can humans grow horns or wings?”

“How long do humans live?”

“What are the dragons like in the human world?”

I was just finishing explaining how, to my knowledge, the only dragons in the human world were komodo dragons, which didn’t breathe fire but were still dangerous, when another hoof raised itself into the air.

It was Diamond Tiara.

“Yes, Diamond Tiara?” I asked, dreading what she was going to ask.

“Can humans do magic?” she asked, a very faint sneer on her face.

“Magic?” I asked. “By which you mean…”

“I mean the magic unicorns can do,” said Diamond Tiara. “Levitation, teleportation, that kind of magic.”

“Well…no,” I said, uncertainly. “Not that kind of magic. Some of us can perform little tricks, though. Sleight of hand, and all that. Card tricks, disappearing acts-”

“Oh, that kind of magic,” said Diamond Tiara, in an increasingly insolent voice. “The kind of magic that one pony kept boasting on about. What was her name again?”

“The Great and Powerful Trixie?” asked Silver Spoon, also sneering.

“Oh yeah, her,” said Diamond Tiara. “Well, if she was so great and powerful, how come she couldn’t even stop an Ursa Minor, a baby?”

“There’s no need for words like that,” I said, calmly, though I felt a hot surge of anger in my veins at her words.

“I’m just saying,” said Diamond Tiara, in a casually defensive voice, “that maybe she made the right choice in leaving when she did. Who wants an old fraud like her skulking around again?”

“That’s enough, Diamond Tiara,” said Cheerilee, reprovingly. “It’s not right to speak of others like that.”

“Yes, Miss Cheerilee,” said Diamond Tiara, humbly, though the malevolent glint was still in her eyes.

(Little brat, I thought.)

How dare she insult Trixie like that? True, she was still in hiding, and had gone into something like a slump, but that was still no way to talk about her like that. Part of me even felt that Diamond Tiara had only asked me about humans performing magic to ensure I had no way of punishing her for acting out of line toward the Crusaders…It’s a horrible thing, being paranoid.

“Shall we proceed, then?” I asked, in a brisker tone. “Ah, yes. Noi, was it? I believe you had another question.”

“Yes, Mr. Dave,” said a little yellow filly with a bushy orange mane. “Do humans get into fights?”

“Ah, good question. Well, I’m afraid there have been some skirmishes in the past. No one’s perfect, you know. It all depends on where you’re from, though. Why, where I come from, for example…”

The rest of the discussion passed without further interruption from the two bratty fillies, though Diamond Tiara’s scorn still haunted my thoughts…

“Let’s give a round of applause for Mr. Dave for visiting us today!” said Cheerilee, when no more questions had been asked.

Everypony clapped their hooves, and I even gave a bit of a bow.

“Thank you for having me, all of you,” I said. “And thank you, Miss Cheerilee.”

Cheerilee smiled and, after I gave another wave to the Crusaders, who were positively beaming, I stepped out of the classroom.

My walk home brought about an unpleasant mixture of emotions. Firstly, I was glad to have rendered a service to Cheerilee, and to have provided a bit of knowledge for her students. On the other hand, Diamond Tiara’s jeers about Trixie made my blood burn. It was infuriating to think that she could get away with that from having wealthy connections, as the Crusaders had told me at our first meeting, but she had a point. Trixie was still lurking in her caravan, unwilling to show herself, allowing bad rumors of her to circulate. If things were going to change, something would have to be done, and I’d have to see them done myself…

I was so deep in these reflections that I almost ran into a pair of ponies as they stepped past. After a second glance, I saw them to be Applejack and Rainbow Dash. The latter was looking ill, but triumphant, the former disapproving.

“I told you!” said Rainbow, in a voice that told me she was intoxicated. “I-hic-told you I could, and you didn’t believe me!”

“All right, all right, so ya did,” said Applejack, “but you could’ve made yourself sick, ya silly filly. What were you thinking?!”

Before Rainbow answered, she turned her bleary eyes on me, and grinned.

“Oh! Dave! It’s-hic-you! How are ya?”

“Pretty good,” I said. “Another day of cider season go well, AJ?”

“One of the best hauls we’ve had in years,” said Applejack, smiling. “Are you still sore about your song and dance on Monday?”

“Well, maybe a little…” I said, feeling a little ashamed that it was partially that that kept me from attending the rest of the season.

“Well, don’t worry about it. We had something today that could rival it.”

“Huh? What’s that?”

“Rainbow,” answered Applejack, nudging the pegasus in the side. “She drank a whole barrel all by herself.”

“What??” I asked, astounded. “A whole barrel?”

“And I didn’t throw up!” said Rainbow, triumphantly, though she swayed on the spot. “Just like I-hic-told ya, Dave! One of my biggest dreams!”

“…Yeah, you did say something about that,” I said, remembering. “Well, congrats, I guess.”

“Thanks! Knew I could do it! Hic!”

She hiccupped and swayed again, Applejack steadying her.

“Come on, sugarcube, let’s get you home,” she said, in a wearied voice. “Ah’ll see ya later, Dave.”

“All right. See ya.”

Applejack and Rainbow stepped past, moving slowly, Rainbow still hiccupping every so often. I couldn’t help but smile at the silly pegasus’s antics, and went home with a lighter heart, but my resolution to talk to Trixie still firm…


***
	

It was Friday morning, and I had come to visit Trixie as usual. As usual, she didn’t seem much in a mood to talk, and appeared to be content in just having me sit there as she lay on the bed, looking drowsy.

For a while, I sat there, just looking at her, feeling sorry for the once Great and Powerful Trixie, now well on her way to becoming the Lazy and Lethargic Trixie, something Diamond Tiara would have loved to coin as a household phrase…It was no good. I had to say something. I cleared my throat.

“Trixie?”

“Mm?”

“Don’t you think you ought to…you know, do something?”

“Like what?” she mumbled.

“Anything!” I said, in a voice near-desperate. “Get up! Take a walk or a jog! Do something! You can’t spend your whole life lazing around on that bed!”

“I can if I want to,” said Trixie, in a voice both lazy and stubborn. “It’s my bed, my caravan.”

“But look at yourself! You’re getting-”

“Getting what?” asked Trixie, sharply, sitting up and looking at me with a steely eye.

I gulped. I had forgotten how touchy women were about anything to do with appearance, and saw that I had just plunged into an uncomfortable situation. Interventions always seemed to turn ugly that way…

“Getting what?” asked Trixie again, icily.

“W-Well,” I stumbled, trying to choose my words carefully, “you know…you just seem...Well, you’ve been looking really tired lately. I was just worried that-”

I thought I had chosen a safe enough path, but I was wrong. Trixie’s violet eyes flickered.

“You pity me...you think I’m getting weak...”

“No! I never used that word!”

“You intended to!” snapped Trixie. “I know you did! Oh, I can see it in your eyes! You feel pity for Trixie, for the mare who’s sunk so low, trapped in her own caravan!”

“Well, it’s your own fault for letting it happen!” I retorted, angry at being accused like this. “I told you that you can’t just stay locked away in here for the rest of your life! You need exercise, fresh air! You need to get out!”

“Again and again with the same aggravating prattle!” snarled Trixie. She adopted a mocking tone. “‘You need to get out more, Trixie! You can’t stay cooped up in this caravan your whole life! You promised you were going to make an effort, to stop hating Twilight Sparkle, to stop being a pathetic waste of pony life!’”

My mouth fell open in shock.

“I never, for one instant,” I said, heatedly, “called you pathetic or a waste of life!”

“Don’t act as if you never thought of me as such!” she retorted, in a voice that was nearly a screech. “Do you think I don’t know what they said to me behind my back, when they were too cowardly to say it to my face? Do you think I don’t know what they were saying after my fall from grace, or what they’re even saying to this day? ‘The Great Disaster, Trixie’! ‘The Weak and Powerless Trixie’! ‘The Lackluster and Boastful Trixie’! I’ve heard them all. You’re not the first!”

“But Trixie, I just said I never-”

“Be quiet!” Trixie interrupted, her eyes blazing with anger, despite the bags beneath them. “I thought you were different, but it seems, once again, I’ve been wrong to place my confidence in another. You’re just like the rest of them, pitying me, thinking I’ve dug myself into a hole I can’t dig out of. Well, I’m going to show all of you! The Great and Powerful Trixie will rise again, greater and more powerful than ever, and it will be without anypony’s help! Not yours, not Twilight Sparkle’s, nopony’s! Now get out.”

“But-”

“Out!”

Her horn blazed with a dangerous glow, and I jumped to my feet, alarmed. She looked murderous…

“…Is this really it, then?” I asked, a tremor in my voice. “After I felt sorry for you, after I tried to be your friend…you’re really going to just chuck me away?”

“I told you, I need nopony’s pity,” Trixie growled, though I couldn’t help noticing a quaver in her voice as well, and an odd gleam in her eyes. “Just go away, please…All you’ve done is remind me why I hate myself…”

The fire in her horn intensified, and I fumbled for the door knob, stumbling backwards onto the grass in front of the caravan steps. The door slammed shut, and all was silent.

For a moment or two, I just lay there, as if stunned. What had just happened? Trixie had gone absolutely berserk! All I did was try to be helpful, and what did she do? Throw me out! I couldn’t believe it! I was only trying to be nice to her, show her the consideration no one else had…Why did she have to be so ungrateful?…

I finally got up and began walking away, casting a rueful glance at the caravan as I went. Well, if all she wanted was to be left alone, then so be it. Let her stay there. If she was going to be a spoiled brat about it, fine!…

I sighed, a moistness coming over my eyes. I hated myself for thinking that, but then again, misery does that to people…
> *Alternate POV* That Same Friday
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

That same Friday, miles away in her throne room in Canterlot, Princess Celestia sat, a stack of papers floating beside her, Ironmane before her.

“Have you made contact with the rest of the delegates?” she asked. “They need to be aware of their newest colleague.”

“Yes, Your Highness,” said Ironmane. “We have already received confirmation from Eagle Eye of Cloudsdale, Rolling Stone of the Appleloosan buffalo, and Apollo of the Griffin Kingdom. We still await word from the others.”

“Very good,” said Celestia. ”Out of curiosity, have you sent the usual envoys to the dragons?”

Ironmane looked at Celestia with a strained expression, as if he were holding back very bitter words. He did not enjoy have to report this.

“I have, but…” He paused, then sighed and said, “You must understand what a fruitless enterprise it is, Your Highness. The dragons possess sense, we know, but they are completely outside of our level of reason. They do not possess the same love and patriotism we hold for Equestria. They are content to sack and ravage it. My subordinates, Hermes and Herald, barely made it out of the dragon wastes without more than a burn or two.”

“If we persist in trying to help them see things our way, Ironmane, without force, we may convince them in the end.”

“Princess Celestia,” said Ironmane, in as calm a voice as he could muster, given his mood, “I know that you wish to see good in everypony, but I do not see how can you continue to put trust in those ferocious reptiles. I know from experience what a good many of them are like: ruthless, greedy, violent. They lack the care and the focus needed to carry a seat in the Round Table.”

“And I know from experience,” responded Princess Celestia, adopting a calm but cold voice, “that not all dragons grow to be ferocious, plundering beasts. I trust you have not forgotten Spike, my faithful student’s assistant?”	

“Certainly not, Your Highness, certainly not,” said Ironmane. “Of course, I will contend that there may be exceptions in certain cases.”

“Like our friend David?” asked Celestia, wryly.

Ironmane seemed to snap fully to attention. He looked more alert, and slightly alarmed.

“The human? What does he have to do with this?” he asked.

“Plenty,” said Princess Celestia. “Do not suppose for one second that Luna hasn’t told me about your conversation last week.”

Ironmane said nothing, but gazed steadily into Celestia’s noble eyes.

“I understand your mistrust, Ironmane,” said Celestia, gently, “but to heap all of the wrongdoings of the ancestors of his kind onto him is going a little too far, isn’t it?”

“I don’t like the situation, Your Majesty,” said Ironmane, stiffly. “He could snap into the behavior of those…” He paused, collecting himself as a wave of indignant rage swept over him. “Well, he could become like they did at their worst. In fact, he came dangerously close on Monday.”

Celestia raised an eyebrow.

“He made a scene at Sweet Apple Acres, under the influence of apple cider.”

“Ahh, of course,” said Celestia, with a smile. “I remember my first taste as well. It made me feel like standing on the spire of the tallest tower and setting the sun on one hoof from up there.”

She giggled in a rather un-princess-like way that made Ironmane frown.

“Your Highness, please. That is not the point.”

He leaned in closer and said, in a grim mutter,

“Dolly Tribune has gotten her hooves on the story. It premiered today in the Friday edition of the Ponyville Express.”

To Ironmane’s astonishment, Celestia smiled.

“Dolly Tribune,” she said, fondly. “I always did find her articles amusing.”

“Even the ones about you?” asked Ironmane, sharply.

“Especially the ones about me,” said Celestia. “I remember the last time she wrote on me, in fact. What was it she said?…Ah, yes! ‘The only thing more apparent than the sun on her flank is her love of cake, which would actually make the former stand out even more’. It was almost as much fun as that Gabby Gums article.”

Ironmane’s face flushed. He looked like he was about to have a stroke.

“Your Highness, I would not take such slander so lightly! She’s a vile gossip!”

“And you need to lighten up, Minister,” said Celestia, still grinning. “It’s not as if she wrote about you. Oh! Wait a minute. Didn’t she once do an article on my royal staff? You were featured, Ironmane!” she added, roguishly, as Ironmane looked scandalized and furious. “Didn’t she say that you and the statues in the royal garden had much in common? Of course, it was rather rude, but it was only a joke.”

“There is no need to bring that up…” he muttered through clenched teeth. “We are avoiding the point, Your Highness. The human is a member of the Round Table. If he continues to give Tribune enough to blacken his name, it would mean disaster, especially if they find out he is a member of the royal staff!”

Celestia’s moment of jubilance melted away, and she had composed herself once more.

“I fully understand, Ironmane,” she said. “Do not think for one instant that I haven’t considered the gravity of what might happen. Still, I can’t see why David can’t enjoy a little fun once in a while. You act like he should be tossed into the Royal Guard Training Academy. Why are you so hard on him?”

Ironmane’s mouth twitched unpleasantly, and there was the faintest of glimmers in his horn. At last, he said,

“…I don’t trust him. Everypony else may be willing to let him into their good graces, just because he’s amiable and polite, but he does not deserve to get off so scot-free in my book. Your Majesty, think of what he is! You, of all ponies-”

But Celestia got to her hooves, her eyes alight with a fire that made Ironmane recoil.

“Ironmane,” said Celestia, once more calm, but steely, “I have stood by and listened to this countless times, and have endured Luna telling me it again after your discussion, and I will say here and now that my patience, though vast, is being tested. I understand your concern for me, but that incident happened well before your time. It is not your business to linger on what is over and done, what I already have dealt with. It was a mistake, I admit, and I was taken aback at the time, but it was, as I said, a mistake, a misunderstanding. I regret that it was that which tendered what had been stable for a long time, but it is over and done with. You, on the other hand, are undyingly willing to treat David as if it is in his genes to make the same mistake.”

Ironmane was rendered speechless for several moments, mouth working wordlessly. Celestia’s words had been perfectly calm, but he could sense the tested patience within her tones. Finally, he managed to say,

“You…you believe that he is from another world entirely, then, Your Majesty? It is absurd!”

“Absurd…but possible,” said Celestia, calmly. “He is not the human who wronged me all of those years ago, Ironmane, nor is there any evidence that he is descended from him.”

“…I cannot just let it pass, Your Highness,” said Ironmane, quietly. “Whenever I think of someone daring to do you a serious wrong, it…” He paused, unable to continue, then said, “I owe you my life, Princess Celestia, and I will do whatever I must to make sure you never experience the same dishonor ever again…”

Celestia’s features relaxed, and she gave Ironmane a small smile once again.

“I am grateful for your devotion, Ironmane,” she said, “but it does not mean you need to treat David so formally. I think you may grow to be good friends, if you allow it to be.”

Ironmane said nothing, but the look on his face said that he would much rather swallow a glassful of the stagnant waters of Froggy Bottom Bog than allow himself to become friends with a human…

Suddenly, there came the sound of someone clearing their throat, which echoed all around the throne room. Celestia and Ironmane looked up to see a harassed-looking pegasus, a winged helmet resting atop his sea-green mane, standing in the doorway.

“Forgive my intrusion, Your Majesty,” he said, bowing, “but I have a message for Minister Ironmane, from the dragons.”

Ironmane shifted out of his resentful silence and became suddenly business-like again.

“Yes, Hermes? Report at once.”

“One of the dragons, a Brutus,” said Hermes, “says he may be willing to join the Round Table, if he is well-supplied in gemstones. He wishes for you to respond as soon as possible to work out negotiations.”

Ironmane sighed.

“It’s always the same with dragons. All they want is gems. Just as bad as the Diamond Dogs…I hope you will excuse me, Your Highness,” he said, turning to Celestia, “but I will have to deal with this immediately.”

“You are excused, Ironmane,” said Celestia, “but I ask that you not forget what we have discussed. Give him a chance…”

Ironmane didn’t answer, but joined Hermes, and the two exited the throne room together, the doors shutting behind them.

With the throne room to herself, Celestia sighed and gazed out the window. Could Dave’s claims of being from an entirely different world be nonsense? Was it possible that he was really part of the bloodline of the native Equestrian humans? Had she been right in denying him an answer to his question about Equestrian humans?…

“In due time,” she finally said, to herself. “In due time, he’ll know…”


***


“…In conclusion, though both are lethal, it is not to be misconstrued that cockatrice and basilisks are one and the same. Their origins of birth, physical forms, and methods of defense prove the difference between these intriguing beasts. However, despite being completely separate creatures, both should be approached with the same caution, or else avoided completely.”

Twilight set her quill down, feeling exhausted, but satisfied. She had been given a much more satisfying assignment from Princess Celestia recently, in light of a panic going around in Baltimare, when a crooked sales pony had been caught trying to sell illegal eggs that could have been those of a cockatrice or a basilisk. Celestia seemed to hope that Twilight’s responsive essay could be used to shed light on how to identify them and prevent the disaster before it happened.

Spike, for his part, looked incredibly relieved to see Twilight finish. It had been his job to pull down books on cockatrice and basilisks, and had been unnerved by the illustrations and descriptions of the chicken-headed winged serpent that could turn ponies to stone, as well as those of the giant snake that could kill with its venomous fangs as well as by merely looking at victims in the eye. Thinking about monsters like those made him doubt his draconic imperviousness at times.

“Thanks, Spike. I know this must have been very unsettling for you, but it was crucial to get this information to the ponies.”

“I’m just glad it’s over,” said Spike. “I haven’t felt this nervous since you asked me to help you write about hydra…You seem really happy, though, even when writing about giant snakes and chicken-headed monsters.”

“That’s because I’m still excited that my report on humans got extra credit!” squealed Twilight, jubilantly. “Dave’s been such a huge help, and he was the one who came up with the idea, remember?”

“Heh, yeah,” said Spike, grinning. “He’s a pretty cool guy. I kinda feel sorry for him, though,” he added, his grin fading.

“Why?” asked Twilight.

“Well, because he’s all alone,” said Spike. “He’s the only one of his kind here in Ponyville, just like…”

He trailed away, kicking at the ground with his little foot.

“Oh, Spike…” Twilight cooed. “You’re not still touchy about that, are you?” 

She sidled over to the little dragon and put a comforting foreleg around him, nuzzling the top of his head with her cheek. He frowned.

“Me? N-No, no way! Dragons don’t get touchy!”

Twilight rolled her eyes, but smiled all the same.

“Well, Dave seems to be doing fairly well for himself. A few minor mishaps, maybe, but he’s getting along nicely. Hard to believe he’s only been with us for nearly 3 weeks.”

“I know,” said Spike. “Pretty wild.”

“Oh! I almost forgot. Did you get the morning paper?”

“Owlowiscious brought it in for me,” said Spike, holding it up. “I, uh, dunno if you wanna read it, though.”

“Why not?” asked Twilight, puzzled.

“Because it’s…it’s about Dave,” said Spike, hesitantly.

Twilight raised an eyebrow.

“That’s hardly anything to worry about. Of course he’s going to make the papers. He’s a human in Equestria.”

“It’s not that,” said Spike, still hesitantly. “It’s…it’s Dolly Tribune.”

Twilight’s eyes snapped wide open. She seized the paper from Spike’s claws with her magic and roved her eyes over the front page. A groan escaped her lips.

“Oh no…She found out about Dave’s escapades on Monday…”

“Is it…bad?”

“Well, not as bad as it could be, but you know Tribune,” said Twilight, grimly. “She loves a good, juicy story to spread. Poor Dave, though. He doesn’t seem the type to want this kind of publicity, and they’re already hinting at wanting an interview with him!”

“Uh oh,” said Spike. “If Tribune gets her hooves on him…”


***


“I think it needs more logs.”

“Ooh! Don’t forget the Crusader symbol on the flag!”

“This is gonna be so much fun!”

The four Crusaders were crowded together around the table in their clubhouse, a piece of drawing paper laid out flat between them. On it was a rough crayon sketch of what looked like a log raft with the mast of a schooner, a flag flying from its tip.

“Do you think Applejack will really help us build it?” asked Scootaloo.

“Sure she will!” said Apple Bloom. “We could even get Big Macintosh to help!”

“And Rarity can make the sail and the flag!” said Sweetie Belle.

“Cutie Mark Crusaders Sailors! Yay!” squealed Dinky.

“And once it’s ready,” said Apple Bloom, “we’ll bring Dave along with us! He won’t wanna miss it!”

“But he’s so big,” said Scootaloo. “What if he sinks the boat?”

“That’s why we’re getting as many logs as we can,” said Apple Bloom. “It’s gotta be big enough for all five of us.”

“Besides, wood floats,” said Sweetie Belle. “It’ll support him. He can’t be that heavy.”

“Our first rafts sank,” said Scootaloo.

“That’s because those were made of twigs,” said Apple Bloom.

“Pretty big twigs, if you ask me,” said Scootaloo, snappishly. “The best I could find. The problem was that the four of us together were too heavy for them, fatty.”

“What did ya call me?!” shouted Apple Bloom, her orange eyes flashing.

“Scootaloo!” said Sweetie Belle, scandalized. “What a thing to say!”

“I’m just saying all those apples have to go somewhere,” said Scootaloo, poking a hoof at Apple Bloom’s stomach. Apple Bloom glowered at her, rubbing where Scootaloo had poked her.

“Ah still say your twig load was lousy,” she snapped.

“It was not!” yelled Scootaloo, her wings buzzing angrily. “I got those twigs right from the edge of the Everfree Forest!”

“And who the hay says Everfree twigs are better than any other?”

“I suppose you’re an expert?”

“Better than you!”

“Why, you-!”

Sweetie Belle and Dinky watched, the latter aghast, the former increasingly exasperated, as Apple Bloom and Scootaloo argued.

“Lousy wood!”

“Too heavy!”

“Lousy wood!”

“Too heavy!”

“Lousy wood!”

“Too heavy!”

“ENOUGH!!” shrieked Sweetie Belle, her voice cracking.

The two fillies stopped at once, staring at Sweetie Belle, whose green eyes were blazing. Dinky’s ears were flattened against her skull from the piercing note.

“I don’t care if the first rafts sank because of bad wood or because the four of us were too heavy for them.  If you two would stop squabbling, we could get to more important questions! What I wanna know is, do we even need a crow’s nest, or could we just borrow Rarity’s birdhouse?”

Apple Bloom and Scootaloo shared an awkward glance. Rarity was frightening when she was angry, and Sweetie Belle, at that moment, reminded them forcibly of her in her worst mood, vehement and unpredictable. It was sometimes scary how similar they were.

Finally, Scootaloo said,

“Sorry for calling you fat, Apple Bloom.”

“Sorry for criticizing yer work, Scootaloo,” said Apple Bloom.

Scootaloo held out her hoof, and Apple Bloom bumped hers against it, the two of them smiling. Dinky sighed with relief.

“Was there something you wanted to add, Dinky?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Huh? Oh! I just had kind of a silly idea,” said Dinky, sheepishly shuffling her hoof. “You don’t wanna hear it…”

“Aw, come on, sis, tell us,” implored Scootaloo.

“We won’t laugh,” said Apple Bloom.

“Promise,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Well…” said Dinky, “what if, instead of just sailors, we were…Cutie Mark Crusaders Pirates?”

The other three just stared at her, mouths agape. Dinky ducked herself down, abashed.

“I’m sorry! I knew it was a dumb idea…” she mumbled.

“No-no-no,” said Apple Bloom. “Dinky, that’s a great idea!”

“It is?” asked Dinky, looking up.

“Yeah! Being pirates is way more fun than just being sailors!” said Scootaloo.

“And pirates get to search for buried treasure!” said Sweetie Belle. “Gold, diamonds, rubies, sapphires, emeralds!”

Dinky’s cute little face lit up. She hadn’t expected that her idea would generate so much excitement.

“It’s decided, then,” said Apple Bloom. “When the raft’s done, the four of us and Dave are gonna be…”

Dinky loved this part. She took in a deep breath with the others, and they shouted, at the top of their lungs,

“CUITE MARK CRUSADERS PIRATES! YAY!!”


***
	

In her cottage, Fluttershy was weaving her head in a steady circle, a strip of bandaging clutched in her teeth. In front of her was her charge, a full-grown bear that had hurt its paw, and was now giving little whimpering growls as Fluttershy wound the bandaging round and round its injury.

Finally, Fluttershy finished, and began tying up the loose ends with her teeth.

“Now, perhaps next time you’ll be a little more careful about where you search for your honey, won’t you, Harry?”

The bear nodded.

“Good,” said Fluttershy, with a tender smile, and she kissed Harry’s paw. “Now run along and play.”

Harry gave a happy grunt, got to his feet, and shambled off. Fluttershy watched him go with that same motherly smile on her face.

Angel was seated on his favorite spot on the couch, finishing the remains of a carrot Fluttershy had given him. When he saw that his mistress had finished playing nurse, he hopped off the couch, dragging a rolled-up newspaper with him, and tugged at her tail. The gentle pegasus glanced down at him.

“Hmm? Yes, Angel?”

Angel held up the paper for her to see, and she glanced at the front page. She gasped.

“Oh, goodness! Dave made the front page? He should be so proud!”

Angel shook his head in a frustrated way and pointed his paw emphatically at the article. Fluttershy pored over it more carefully, her delicate eyes roving over the text, and she gasped again.

“Oh, dear…I don’t think Dave would have wanted to make the front page like that, not with something so embarrassing. Ohh, this is just awful!” Fluttershy began pacing up and down. “I wonder if Dave’s already seen it. Will he be angry? Will he be sad? It isn’t exactly mean, but it’s about an embarrassing thing he did. Does that still count? Oh, what will he say? What will he do?”

Angel tugged at her silky tail again to make her stop. She glanced down at her little rabbit friend, concern registered in her eyes. Angel hopped over to her and patted her hoof, in a rare reassuring way of his that meant ‘Don’t worry. It’s not your problem.’ Fluttershy sighed.

“You’re right. Thanks, Angel. It feels like I always go to pieces over everypony else’s problems. Still, I’d hate to imagine if it happened to me.”

Angel crossed his forelegs. He was clearly not concerned about what happened to that human, whatever his mistress said. He still hadn’t quite forgiven him for leading Fluttershy into the Everfree Forest and then losing her. 

Fluttershy, however, seemed to guess what the rabbit was thinking, and said, in a stern tone,

“Now, Angel Bunny, it wasn’t his fault. I was the one who ran away from his side. If I hadn’t been so scared of the storm, we wouldn’t have separated. Besides, we came out all right, and that’s what’s important, isn’t it?”

Angel still kept his forelegs crossed, but he rolled his eyes in a way that said, ‘I suppose…’

“Come on now, Mr. Grumpy-Bunny,” cooed Fluttershy, the motherly tones making Angel squirm unpleasantly, as if he were a little kid about to be kissed by his auntie. “He’s not that bad. He’s really nice. He even reminds me of myself, sometimes, when he’s nervous.”

Angel looked askance, grumpily, as if thinking ‘Great, just what I need: another wimp…’

“You just haven’t gotten used to him,” Fluttershy went on. “One of these days, I’ll invite him over for tea, and then the two of you can get to know each other better. Won’t that be fun?”

Fluttershy beamed, but Angel turned his head away and gagged, clearly not enthused.

“Oh!” said Fluttershy, seeming to remember something. “I’d better hurry and round up the songbirds that stayed behind! This Winter Wrap-Up, they’re going to sing ‘All in the Golden Afternoon’! Isn’t that wonderful?”

Angel shrugged, not altogether displeased with the idea. He followed his mistress out the door.


***


In all of Ponyville, there was just one house that stood out among all the others. 

Structurally, it seemed the same as the rest of the houses in Ponyville, but there were a few things that made it different from the others, and not merely for the fact that it stood on a hill all by itself. For one thing, the doorway was a window, and the windows were miniature doors. The body was made of the thatching usually reserved for roofing, and the roof was made of wood. There were two chimneys, and none of them made of brick or stone, and spewed bubbles rather than smoke. The top of a mailbox sat in the yard like a garden gnome, while a real garden gnome sat on a wooden stake, like a mailbox. A welcome mat sat outside the door, but instead of ‘Welcome’, it read out the current date, with no one able to explain how it did it.

When Screwball, for it was she who owned this house, heard the arrival of the post, she slid the bottom part of her ‘door’ open and clambered out, first heading to her ‘mailbox’ to see if any mail had arrived. She let out an inaudible sigh as she saw it was empty again. She then picked up her newspaper and went back inside, closing the window of a door behind her.

The inside of her home was even more absurd than the outside, maybe even more so. Despite the thatched makeup of the exterior, the walls of her bedroom were still plastered with wallpaper, and wild wallpaper at that: Magic Eye on one wall and goldfish in water on another. In fact, the goldfish in the paper actually moved, flicking their tails as if they were really swimming. Yet another depicted real fruit trees that, when approached, one could actually smell and, yes, even taste the fruit within it. Her ceiling was papered to resemble the sky, and depending on the weather and time of day, the paper would alter to resemble it.

The wall where her bed rested, however, was devoted to photographs and pictures. Three ponies already occupied part of it with their pictures: Lyra Heartstrings, Bon Bon, and Cheerilee. Screwball smiled as she observed her little collection. Lyra was wild and unpredictable, but was also really nice and eager to have fun. Bon Bon was equally sweet, but quieter and more reserved than Lyra. Cheerilee was one of the kindest ponies she ever knew, hooves down. All three of them never complained or made excuses when Screwball wanted to have fun with them. They didn’t shy away when she wanted to hang out with them. They understood her. They tolerated her. They liked her.

Screwball looked down at the newspaper and gave a slight gasp. That human was on the front page! He was singing, dancing, holding a mug of cider in his hand. Two other ponies she knew by sight, Rainbow Dash and Berry Punch, were with him, dancing alongside him. She giggled softly at how they looked. 

She took the page in her teeth and, carefully, tore out the picture in a way that left only the human’s head and shoulders intact. She flipped the piece of paper into her mouth, chewed it thoughtfully, then spat it out, where it landed with a wet splat, whole and untarnished, on the wall, alongside the others she deemed her friends. She smiled at the happy, singing human face on her wall. She felt confident that he still remembered her, and that there might come a day when they might even see each other again. Maybe then, she wouldn’t be so shy…
> Pinkie Pie's Homecoming
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I had gone back home, not even bothering to pick up the paper I had missed, shut myself inside, and sat on my bed, fuming. I wanted to be angry with Trixie for being so callous after making, what I had thought to be, good progress. For even the merest of time-spans, she had actually been kind with me, hospitable. She had treated me like I was welcome in her book. And now she had thrown that out the window, without even giving me the chance to explain myself. 

All I felt, however, was miserable for having dropped out of her good graces so speedily. She had had someone to talk to, someone to spend time with, and I just ruined it. It felt like that sort of thing always happened to me. If there was anything, even the smallest of things I could do for her to make up for it, I would do it in a heartbeat. At the moment, though, I just wanted to be alone.

I’m not sure how long I sat there, brooding. It could have been hours. All I know is, eventually, as the sun began to set, there came a knock at the door. I ignored it at first, but it redoubled after a moment, and I had a feeling whoever it was would not just go away.

“Who is it?” I asked, in a croaking voice.

“It’s Spike! Can I come in?”

Spike? I hadn’t spoken to the little guy since I came back from Canterlot. It would have been rude of me to refuse him after that.

“Sure, Spike, hang on.”

I got to my feet and opened the door. Sure enough, the little dragon was standing at the door, gazing up at me. He looked out of breath, and had the look of someone with urgent news.

“Are you ok? You look like you‘ve come down with something,” he said, concerned.

“I’m fine,” I said, though I probably did look pretty miserable. “What brings you out here?”

“Rarity sent me,” he said. “She wanted me to bring you to the boutique. Pinkie’s being fitted into her new dress, and when that’s done, she’s going to take us to the Pie family rock farm!”

I was jerked out of my emotional state instantly at these words. We were going to see Pinkie’s family at last?

“R-Really?” I asked, astounded. “I knew she said after cider season, but it feels so soon!”

“I know, right? Come on, we’d better hurry!”

“Right, right! Lead the way!”

And Spike hurried off at a brisk jog, as I, after locking the door behind me, took care not to overtake him with my strides.


***


As I ran with Spike, my mind pounded with this news, even managing to push aside the recent disaster that had been my talk with Trixie. It was time! It was time at last! We were finally going to meet Pinkie’s family! I’d been looking forward to this ever since Pinkie wrote to them!

At last, we arrived, breathless, outside the Carousel Boutique. The door swung open, and Fluttershy poked her head out. She must have been acting as a lookout for our arrival.

“There you are!” she said, relieved. “Wonderful timing! Come in, come in!”

We stepped inside. Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Twilight were all talking excitedly, clustered around Rarity’s display podium, where a screen had been drawn. I could see Rarity’s silhouette behind it, but the other pony behind it couldn’t possibly have been Pinkie. There was no Pinkie frizzle to see. Rarity appeared to be running a brush through the pony’s long mane, a mane that looked too tame to belong to Pinkie.

“Did we miss it?” I asked Twilight. “Who’s Rarity working on?”

“Pinkie, silly,” said Twilight, amused.

“Oh, come on, Twi. I’ve spent almost 3 weeks around Pinkie, and the Pinkie I know looks nothing like the pony Rarity’s working on.”

“Oh, you’ll see,” said Twilight, in a teasing voice.

At last, Rarity peered out, wearing her work glasses.

“Ah! Dave! Thank goodness you made it. Good job, Spikey-wikey!”

She gave Spike a glowing smile, and I saw a sappy grin make its appearance on the little dragon’s face.

“Fillies and gentle-colts,” said Rarity, grandly, “I thank you for your patience, and am happy you could make it to this momentous occasion. I, myself, am quite atwitter at what lies before us. Our dear Pinkie Pie…is ready for her homecoming. Voila!”

And with a surge of her magic, she pulled the screen aside to reveal…

…But it couldn’t be.

There was absolutely no way.

And yet, it was still, unmistakably Pinkie Pie…

She was wearing a dress of shimmering sky blue, sparkling like a sea of stars, with sun yellow at the sleeves and hem, the latter of which fell to just above her hooves. Come to think of it, it was colored the same as her cutie mark balloons. The collar was bordered with soft, white lace. A pink ribbon was tied around her waist, ending in a bow at the back like the sashes on kimonos. But the biggest change was her mane. It was no longer poofy and messy. It was sleek and straight, and tied into an elegant bun at the back of her head. I wondered how on Earth Rarity had managed to tame it, but I could see, besides a hairbrush, several bottles of what looked like shampoos, conditioners, and hairsprays. There was even a smell of something sweet, candy-like. Peppermint? Cotton candy?

She looked…oddly shy, as if conscious of how different she looked, but all of her friends were gazing at her in amazement. I, for one, had never seen her so…cleaned up. She was…pretty.

Rainbow Dash was the first to break the silence.

“Wow, Pinks! You look great!”

“Really great,” agreed Twilight, beaming. “Rarity did a wonderful job!”

“You look beautiful, Pinkie Pie,” said Fluttershy.

“Never thought I’d see the day,” said Applejack.

Pinkie glanced around at them all, still smiling shyly, and then her eyes fell on me. Caught off-guard, I spluttered out,

“Y-You look…I mean…Wow, Pinkie. Just, wow!”

Pinkie’s smile broadened.

“Thank you,” she said. “Thank you, everypony. You have no idea how much this all means to me. I’m so happy I could just…”

And her whole body tensed, as if she were about to spring like a jungle cat, but Rarity held out a hoof to stop her.

“Ah-ah, Pinkie! Not in that dress. I made it with you in mind, but it’s not made for your exuberant behavior.”

“Oh. Right,” said Pinkie, with an embarrassed chuckle. She then turned back to us. “Well, everypony, are you ready?”

“Ah’ve got my wagon loaded up with Apple family vittles,” said Applejack.

“And we’re prepared to be ourselves,” said Fluttershy.

“Oooh, great!” said Pinkie, practically shuddering with excitement. “Let’s go-go-go!”

And she hopped down from the podium, leading the way out the boutique, walking with a slower, more deliberate gait than I’d ever seen her use. Applejack paused for a moment to hitch herself up to a small cart filled with pies and other baked goods before rejoining us, her speed undeterred by the new load. I still couldn’t believe it. We were on our way to see the Pies at last…


***


To my slight disconcertion, it was not, after all, a trip that could be made on foot. Pinkie told us that her farm was south of Ponyville, and the quickest way was by train. I went along with the others to the train station, feeling like I could have been told this sooner.

If the fact that we had to go by train was bad enough to me, the length of the trip itself was even more of a bitter pill to swallow: a whole night’s worth of riding until we could reach the stop nearest the farm. When I found this out from Pinkie, my anxiety must have clearly registered for Twilight, as she went back to the library lickety-split and returned with two more Daring Do books, and had even managed to bring Flying with the ‘Bolts, which I still hadn’t finished yet, both packed into a saddlebag. Good thing Twi had thought ahead and knew how I operated. I thanked her gratefully and joined the others at the ticket window.

I kept more to myself in the car we chose, immersed in more of Daring Do’s escapades as I heard the girls laughing over a card game Pinkie had brought with her, and I occasionally heard a crackling and popping. Twi told me Spike had brought popcorn kernels with him for us to snack on, but was not happy about being the roaster. In all fairness, it didn’t taste too bad. There’s something to be said about dragon-popped popcorn. 

Time passes pretty slowly on long train rides, but it passes all the same, and soon gave way to night, Despite the fact that I didn’t usually sleep while traveling, I had to admit it wasn’t so bad sleeping on a train; the compartment bed was pretty cozy. Then again, I also had to admit that Rainbow Dash snored loud enough to warrant a restraining order from the dead, so it was a while before I drifted off...


***


Even after we got to our station stop the next morning, which looked as though it had been carved out of stone, it took quite a while for us to finally reach our destination, as it was situated a mile or so from the platform. Still, it was easy to notice it as we got closer. The land became duller, grayer, the color seeming to fade away. If it kept up like this, it might go into full sepia tone.

Surprisingly, the one most affected by this drab change of scenery was Applejack. I had expected Rarity to say something about how garish it must have seemed to her, but all the farm mare said was, in a regretful tone,

“Must be rock farm country. No apple trees would grow out in this soil…”

“That’s why it was made a rock farm,” said Pinkie, knowledgeably, “because nothing else would grow out here.”

“Then how did you eat?” Rainbow asked. “You didn’t just munch on those rocks, did you?”

“Of course not, silly. Not just the rocks. There's a village not too far away where Mom or Grammy went to buy groceries. I was still young, so I didn’t see much outside the farm before I left for Ponyville.”

It still baffled me how Pinkie left her home and came to Ponyville as a filly. Even when she was younger, she was unpredictable.

We suddenly pulled to a stop. Pinkie had halted dead in her tracks, staring ahead as if a ghost had sprung out of the ground and had begun dancing the Charleston in front of her. We directed our eyes to where she was staring.

There, up ahead, was a wide stretch of dull gray land, bordered by a wooden fence, and containing not only a farmhouse, a silo, and a windmill, but mounds and piles of differently shaped and colored rocks, including one huge boulder that seemed to have pride of place. It looked absolutely dismal, but Pinkie was rooted to the spot, eyes wide.

“It…it hasn’t changed a bit,” said Pinkie, in a quiet voice. “It’s just like I remember it!”

Her voice was alight with joy, her eyes glistening with tears. She shuddered, as if she were about to explode like a firecracker.

Suddenly, she gasped and, without warning, shoved us behind an enormous boulder that was sitting off to the side of the track we had been taking. Utterly perplexed at her behavior, we peered around to see what was going on.

A group of ponies was exiting the farmhouse, all of them Earth ponies. Even from our distance, I counted off 5, and I couldn’t have been surer that these must have been Pinkie’s parents, two of her sisters, and her grandmother. Of course, if I hadn’t known Pinkie’s past, I would have said you’d have to be out of your mind to think they were related to her.

Pinkie’s father reminded me very much of an Amish farmer, meaning no disrespect to them, of course. He was an earthy brown with gray sideburns, wearing a black hat and a collar with a tie. He looked stern and stiff.

Pinkie’s mother, on the other hand, was light gray with a bluish-gray mane done up into a bun. A pair of spectacles was perched on her snout.

Pinkie’s sisters (I couldn’t tell which was which) were her size, though slimmer in build than their pudgy pink sibling, probably from living their lives working the farm. One was purplish with white, straight-cut bangs, the rest of her mane cropped short in the back and swept to one side of her face, while the second was the same shade of gray as her mother, her very long, dark-gray mane covering one eye.

Pinkie’s grandmother was a stark contrast to the rest of her family. Her coat was a faded pink, close to Pinkie’s own shade, her white mane done up in curls. Like Pinkie’s mother, she too wore spectacles on her snout.

I glanced at the others. They were looking as amazed as I was at the thought that these somber ponies were Pinkie’s family. Pinkie, meanwhile, looked terrified and excited at the same time, and I could hear her muttering,

“Oh, gosh, oh, gosh, oh golly-goshy-golly-gosh! What do I do? What do I say?”

“For starters,” said Twilight, “you can come out from behind this boulder and greet them.”

“B-But-”

“No buts, Pinkie,” said Rainbow. “This is what we set out to do, and we’re not going back now.”

Rainbow got behind Pinkie and began trying to push her along from behind, Pinkie digging her hooves into the dirt to try and stop her.	

“Be careful, Rainbow Dash!” hissed Rarity. “That silk is rare, and I don’t want any dirt getting on it!”

Rainbow didn’t seem to hear, however, as she gave another push, and Pinkie tumbled out into the open, looking petrified. She turned to look at us. Everypony else was making little ‘go on’ motions, so I did likewise, giving her an encouraging smile to boot. Pinkie gulped and began walking toward the group of ponies in the field.

The sister with the long mane looked up from where she had been nosing a yellowish rock into a pile of similarly-colored ones. She titled her head at the sight of Pinkie, then hurried over to her sister, tapping her on the shoulder. She looked up with an irritable sigh.

"What is it, Marble?" she asked.

She had a rough, boyish voice that seemed to say 'don't mess with me if you don't want to get hurt'. Marble, as the first sister was so designated, whispered in her ear. The other sister looked over at Pinkie, eyeing her suspiciously. She had very prominent eyebrows.

"Ok, I'll see what they want," she said. "I'll be right back."

She approached Pinkie, and I could now see her cutie mark: half a lime hovering over two white rocks. Ahh, so this one must be Limestone. That cutie mark was a bit on the nose, if you asked me.

“Hey there, stranger,” she said. “What can we do for you?”

Pinkie said nothing, but, judging by Limestone's face, whatever expression she wore disconcerted her.

“Are you all right? You look like you’re about to start crying.”

Finally, Pinkie said, in a trembling voice,

“Limestone. It’s me.”

For a moment, Limestone looked uncomprehending, her brows furrowed, but then, slowly, very slowly, her eyes widened, and her mouth fell open.

“Pinkie?” she asked. “Is that really you?”

Pinkie nodded energetically, and Limestone’s open mouth turned to a wide smile, and she threw her forelegs around her sister, Pinkie hugging her in return. I turned to look at the others. They were looking gleeful. It was going well so far.

"You silly filly!” Limestone laughed, breaking away to look her over. “You didn’t have to get dolled up just for us!”

“I wanted to,” said Pinkie. “It felt right, after so long. Oh, Limestone, it's so good to see you!" 

"Right back at you, little sis," said Limestone.

She then turned and yelled out across the farm,

“Mom! Dad! Marble! Grammy! Look who dropped in!”

There was a stampede of hooves, and the four remaining Pies hurried over to see what the commotion was about. Pinkie’s parents didn’t appear to recognize their daughter in her new getup, but Marble and Grammy proved much sharper to the occasion. Marble’s mouth fell agape just like Limestone's, and then, tears in her eyes, she embraced her sister, shouting,

“Pinkie! I missed you so much!”

"I missed you too, Marble," said Pinkie, hugging her right back.

Mr. and Mrs. Pie gasped, and now Grammy Pie approached, and we could see her lip trembling. Marble backed off, still smiling widely.

“Bless Celestia,” Grammy breathed, in a creaky voice. “It’s my little Pinkie Pie!”	

“Grammy,” said Pinkie, her voice choked, and she threw herself into her grandmother’s hooves, as the aged mare kissed her granddaughter’s forehead.

From somewhere behind me, somepony was blowing their nose noisily. I turned around and, sure enough, the offender was Rarity. Everypony else was getting teary-eyed, but she was going all-out. Applejack was patting her back, and I turned back to watch what was going on.

Mrs. Pie had now approached Pinkie, who was finally released from her grandmother’s embrace. She looked Pinkie up and down, and then, with a teary smile, put her hoof under Pinkie’s chin to tilt her head up.

“You’ve grown so beautiful, Pinkamena. I’ve missed you every day you’ve been gone.”

“Oh, Mom,” Pinkie sniffled, and she embraced her mother tightly.

Only her father hadn’t moved. The brief look of shock when Pinkie had identified had passed, and he was looking stony-faced again. I had a feeling he was trying to pass off the little moment of weakness he had had.

Pinkie let go of her mother and turned to him. He stood resolutely on the spot, not saying a thing. Mrs. Pie gazed sternly at him, but he did not move.

“Are you mad at me, Dad?” asked Pinkie, in a timorous voice.

(Oh, please, God, not now. Not when we’ve come so far.)

“Mad?” Mr. Pie finally asked, gazing steadily down at his daughter. “Mad? You leave home when you were not even full-grown, you fail to write, you don’t visit, and now you think it acceptable to show up, wearing a fancy outfit, hoping that this shouldst make amends?”

'Shouldst'? What age did this guy think he was living in?	

“Igneous!” reprimanded Mrs. Pie, sharply.

“Cloudy Quartz,” said Igneous, in a warning tone, and Cloudy Quartz backed down, still glaring at her husband.

I could see that Pinkie was trembling, and I felt a strong urge to go over and give this guy a piece of my mind. This was his daughter, his daughter, for Pete’s sake. I looked at the others, and saw that they were all looking anxious of what might come next.

Finally, Igneous said,

“I shouldst be angry with you, young lady, but…”

Pinkie looked up. Igneous' stony face was trembling, his eyes filling with tears.

“But I’m just too glad to see you home again. Thou were our little ray of sunshine, Pinkamena. I’ve missed you so much.”

Pinkie gave a happy gasp, and, just as we sighed with relief, there was a noise like a party favor, and Pinkie’s carefully-combed mane suddenly sprang into the frizzy mess we all knew and loved. I could hear Rarity give a slight groan. She must have spent ages putting her mane in order.

“Oh, Dad!” squealed Pinkie, and she embraced her father tightly, as he hugged her close.

I had to mentally retract my desire to bawl this guy out. He did have a good heart, after all.

“I’m so sorry it’s been so long,” Pinkie said, finally breaking away to address them all. “There was so much I wanted to tell you, but that wouldn’t fit in a letter. We’ve got so much to catch up on!”

“That we do, my girl, that we do,” said Grammy.

“We wanna hear everything!” said Limestone.

"Mm-hmm!" said Marble, emphatically.

“Our door has always been open for you, Pinkamena,” said Cloudy Quartz.

“Oh, but first,”  said Pinkie, “you’ve gotta meet my friends! I brought them along to meet you all!”	

Perplexed, the Pies looked about, expecting to find us out in the open. Pinkie giggled.

“Everypony, this is Twilight Sparkle!”	

Twilight gave a start, as if this was her cue for a stage performance. She stepped out from behind the rock to smile at the surprised Pies.

“Applejack!”

Now Applejack stepped out, wheeling her cart of baked goods with her. She grinned at the fellow farm folk.

“Rarity!”

Rarity made her appearance, primping her curls primly as she smiled benignly at the Pies.

“Rainbow Dash!”

Rainbow soared upwards and landed back down beside the others, winking at the Pies.

“Fluttershy!”

Fluttershy timidly stepped out, shyly smiling, trying to hide behind her mane.

“Spike!”

The Pies gasped as Spike stepped out and waved to them. They obviously were not expecting a live dragon.

“Aaaaaaand Davie!”

Now I stepped into the open, waving at the even more stupefied Pie family. Marble and Limestone looked amazed, Grammy and Cloudy Quartz stunned. Igneous, however, had become stony-faced once more, his glare icy. He pointed a hoof at me.

“Him? You calleth that thing one of your friends, Pinkamena?”

The others looked at me in unease, and I felt an unpleasant feeling in the pit of my stomach. Nothing good could come of this, especially when I was referred to as ‘that thing’…

“Of course he is, Dad!” said Pinkie, surprised. “Why not?”

“Why not?” asked Igneous, sharply. “He's a human, Pinkamena! A human! You knoweth what’s said of their kind!”

Oh, great. He sounded like Ironmane, and another of him was so not what I needed at that moment. Pinkie shot pensive looks between me and her father, looking conflicted. She couldn’t have seen this coming.

“Oh, honestly, Igneous!” said Grammy, indignantly. “Do you still believe in those old stories? Look at him! Does he look dangerous to you?”

Even in the midst of my unease, I inwardly thanked Grammy for putting in support for me. Grandmas could be really cool, sometimes.

“There’s a reason he appeared in the paper, Mother,” said Igneous, grimly. “Is there anything to dispute about that?”

I felt as if I had swallowed ice. I had appeared in the newspaper? What could I have possibly done to be featured? I didn’t even remember being interviewed. Maybe I should have read my paper back at home.

“A wild and crazy animal, that’s what he is! Just as I always suspected of his kind!” Igneous was bellowing, making the rest of his family cringe.

Now I really wanted to know what I had done to make it into the paper, while at the same time, dreading what I might read.

“I won’t have him on my farm! Do you hear me?”

It was clear everypony had heard him, as no one spoke up to contradict him. Pinkie’s friends were looking devastated. Everything had been turning up roses, and now the good feeling had come to an abrupt halt.

Then, all of a sudden, Pinkie spoke up, and her voice was full of cold anger.

“I was a ‘wild and crazy animal’ back when I was a filly, Dad. I used to make you smile by being ‘wild and crazy’. Are you saying I’m not welcome, too?”

Igneous looked very much taken aback, as did all of us. I had never heard Pinkie sound so angry before, and this was her own father she was talking to!

“What? No, Pinkamena, of course not!”

“Davie is my friend, Dad, and if you can’t accept him, just because you think he’s a bad human, just because of what you saw in some newspaper, then-”

No! Pinkie was going to forego her family just for my sake! I was not about to let that happen. Who cared if I couldn’t visit this old rock farm? It was Pinkie that mattered, not me!

“Pinkie, no!” I said, sharply, making her wheel around to look at me in surprise. With some difficulty, I said, as I looked at Igneous, “It’s obvious I’m not welcome here. I can accept that. You’re the one who matters here, Pinkie, not me. If your family wants me to go, then I’ll go.”

“But-” began Pinkie, and she looked distressed.

“It’s ok, Pinkie,” I said, kneeling down to face her. “This is your day. You get to spend it with your family and your friends. You shouldn’t call everything off just because of me. That would be insane. I’ll back off. The rest of you deserve to have fun, even without me.”

Pinkie still looked unsure, still hurt by the fact that her father had excluded me. Everypony else was watching me closely. I caught Twilight’s eye, and she smiled and mouthed something like ‘very big of you’.

“I want it made, clear, though,” I said, louder, facing Igneous, “that Pinkie took me in when I was alone and lost. I may be banned from your property, but I’m going to stay her friend. Is that understood, Mr. Pie?”

He didn’t answer, but kept looking at me in silence. I turned back to Pinkie.

“Now, promise me something, Pinkie.”

“Mm?” she asked, looking me straight in the eye.

“Promise you won’t let the fact that I’m not here ruin your time here. This trip was all about you, not me. I’m just glad to have been able to glimpse your family. Also, tell me everything about what happens. I’ll be wanting to know. Can you do all that for me?”

Pinkie finally nodded with a smile.

“Good,” I said, and, not caring if Igneous saw or not, gave her a hug, and I felt her nuzzle my cheek. “Now go along. You and your folks have a lot to catch up on.”

Reluctantly, Pinkie turned and rejoined her friends and family. The others looked at me sadly, looking as if it was a cruel injustice that I couldn’t come with them.

“It’s ok, everypony," I said. “I’ll see you all when you get back to Ponyville. Have fun, all right?”

They nodded, though still looked reluctant to just let me go like that. They were interrupted, however, by Cloudy Quartz asking,

“That dragon of yours, Miss Sparkle. Is he tame?”

Spike looked outraged, but whatever he was going to say in response was quickly interrupted by Twilight, who used her magic to literally zip his mouth shut.

“He’s a perfect gentlecolt, ma’am,” Twilight assured her, “and will be on his best behavior.”

With that, the pack of ponies made their way into the stretch of farmland, toward the farmhouse. At the door, Pinkie turned to take one last look at me. I smiled and waved, and she did the same, before going inside with the rest of them, the door closing behind her.

I was now left alone in the barren rock land of the Pie family farm, and it was gonna be a long, long way back home...
> Tribune and Trixie
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

It wasn’t so much that I was nervous about heading home by myself, even if it was a day-long train ride. Twilight had been smart enough to get all of us round-trip tickets. It was more the fact that I was lonely on the way back. I had no one to talk to, and even being occupied with the books Twilight had given me didn’t help much. I didn’t know anypony else on the train, so I didn’t really have anyone to pass the time with. All I could do was sit and read as the train rattled on back toward Ponyville.

I was still sore about being ousted like that by Mr. Pie, but then again, as I had already said, it was Pinkie who mattered in this situation, not me. Besides, she hadn’t been friends with me nearly as long as Twilight and the others. They deserved the chance to sit and talk with the Pies more than me. I know that sounds kinda pessimistic, but I like to think I was just trying to be considerate.

I will say this, though: the sleep overnight on the train was not as peaceful. How ironic was it that I complained about Rainbow snoring, yet now, it was too quiet? At least with her snoring, it was a sign that she had been on the train with me, but now, with nothing but the rattling of the train as it sped along, I was reminded of how alone I was and how far away the others were by now. They would be a full day away, and I wouldn’t be able to contact them about anything…Oh, well. What was the worst that could happen?


***


After a good breakfast in the dining car, I looked out the window to see Ponyville on the horizon. It was going to feel weird without any of my familiar pals with me, but I still had the Hooves, the Crusaders, Lyra, Bon Bon, heck, a whole town full of ponies I still knew and liked. What was I saying? I wasn’t going to be in want of company. Still, Pinkie’s group was the one I was most familiar with.

The train screeched to a halt, and I stepped down, intending to head straight home and find that newspaper about me, see what was in it that had ticked off Mr. Pie. I had barely started down the platform, however, when I bumped into someone in front of me.

“Whoops! I’m so sorry! I should have watched where I was going!”

“Oh, no, no trouble at all. It’s quite…Oh! Well, hello!”

I looked down at the mare I had just bumped into. She was a unicorn, about Mrs. Cake’s size, and close to her in build, too. She had a yellow coat, a neatly-combed red mane and tail, and green eyes. She was wearing what looked like a blue business jacket, but wasn’t wearing pants or a skirt to go with it. That was one of the weirder things I noticed about these ponies. Whenever they did dress up, they only wore shirts, jackets, dresses, or hats, but never clothing for the lower body when it was what should have been a two-piece ensemble. Then again, they normally went around completely nude, but it was still an odd quirk to me. Maybe they just didn’t want to obscure their cutie marks…

She was accompanied by a scrawny, skinny red pegasus stallion with a long black mane beneath a brown news cap. He had a long Fu Manchu-style mustache and purple eyes, and had a shrewd, intelligent face.

The mare was smiling broadly at me, showing a single gold tooth among her pearly whites.

“I was hoping to have a chance to see you,” she said.

“Er, do I know you?” I asked, confused by her demeanor.

“Not personally, but you must have seen some of my work,” said the mare, sidling up. “Name’s Tribune, Dolly Tribune, correspondent for the Ponyville Express. And this is my camera-colt, Papa Razzo.”

The pegasus nodded politely, without speaking.

“Oh,” I said, not quite sure how I was supposed to respond. “Well, I have read the paper before, and I think I remember-”

“Oh, splendid!” said Dolly, cutting across me. “Then let me be the first to apologize.”

“Apologize? For what?”

“‘For what’, he asks,” said Dolly, in an amused tone to her camera-colt. “Isn’t he a gem, Razzo?”

Razzo gave something like a wheezy chuckle, not unlike Muttley’s.

“Why, for putting your face in the paper without your permission, of course,” said Dolly, screwing her face up into a look of sympathy. “You wouldn’t believe the field day I had, honey. As soon as the article went into circulation, I told myself, ‘Dolly, you ditz! You got the scoop, but didn’t speak to the scoop-ee! How do you think he feels about it?’ I could have beat my own brains out for such a lapse of judgment!”

Razzo affected a grave look, taking off his cap and gazing mournfully skyward, as if he were silently begging Heaven’s forgiveness.

“It wasn’t fair to you, sweetie, and all I can do is give you my deepest of apologies,” said Dolly, raising herself on her hind legs and leaning against me, one foreleg over her forehead in a dramatic display. It wasn’t just weird to watch, but uncomfortable to experience, as she wasn’t exactly a lightweight, and nearly threw me off balance.

“Well, the truth is,” I said, in a strained voice, “I haven’t actually read that edition yet. I’ve been out of town, you see, hence why I’m here at the station.”

“Oh!” said Dolly, seeming to come to herself again, and a look of delighted hope appeared on her face. “Then the damage might not even be done! I can spare you the injustice of editiorial exclusion!” she added dramatically, pointing her hoof skyward and throwing the other around my shoulders. This lady was really starting to creep me out…

“By which you mean…?” I asked.

“By which I mean an exclusive interview, of course!” said Dolly, getting back onto all fours. “You know, give the readers the chance to know the real you.”

“An interview? Well…I don’t know. It doesn’t sound like too bad an idea-”

“Wonderful!” interrupted Dolly. “How about right here? Have a seat.”

She gestured to a station bench close by, and I sat down on it. Razzo cleared his throat and nudged his boss.

“Hmm? Oh! Of course. I hope you’ll forgive me, editorial protocol, but we have to take a quick snapshot of you.”

“A photo?”

“Yes, indeed. It would add that certain personal touch to your anecdote.”

She grinned, the one gold tooth shining through a sea of white.

“Well-”

“Lovely! Razzo?”

Fast as lightning, Razzo whipped out, from nowhere, an old-fashioned camera and held it up. I affected to smile, though I was so flustered, I didn’t know how I looked, and the flash from the camera blinded me. I don’t even know how many he took.

“Lovely!” said Dolly, again. “Now, let’s get started.”

She hopped onto the bench, sitting as I did, and sidled up beside me. It reminded me of Lyra, if Lyra were older and larger. She had pulled out a notepad and a brown quill.	

“To start off, your name.”

“Dave.”

“Is that a common human name?”

“Yeah. Well, it’s short for David, but I prefer going by Dave.”

She began writing feverishly on her pad.

“Oh, don’t worry about this,” said Dolly, seeing where I was looking. “Eyes on me, please.”

“Erm, all right.”

“Now, where do you come from? Where do you live?”

“Er, well, I come from another world entirely, and I currently live outside Ponyville.”

“Another world?” asked Dolly, astonished, her quill whizzing across the page. “What do you mean?”

“I mean I live on Earth, but the Earth I’m from doesn’t possess talking ponies.”

“My, my, my…” muttered Dolly. “That is peculiar…I don’t suppose you can elaborate?”

“I don’t know if I can,” I said, ruefully. “I can’t remember what I was doing before I came to Ponyville. I was just laying out on the grass when I was discovered.”

Dolly and Razzo looked at each other, and I couldn’t help but feel that the glance between them meant something, though I didn’t know what.

“You say you were discovered?” asked Dolly. “Who found you?”

“Pinkie Pie.”

“Ahh, Miss Pinkie Pie!” said Dolly, smiling. “Charming filly. Helps run Sugarcube Corner, I believe. Between you and me,” she added, confidentially, “I can’t stay away from the place. Their stuff’s too good! Of course, I can’t say it does me much good. Goes right to my rump.”

I glanced at her. She wasn’t really fat, but she was a little bigger than the average pony.

“You shouldn’t be so hard on yourself,” I said. “You look fine.”

“Oh, thank you, honey,” said Dolly, “but I was only kidding around. So, tell me about yourself and Pinkie Pie. Would you call her your best friend?”

“Easily,” I said. “She was the one who discovered me, showed me around Ponyville, introduced me to her friends, let me stay in her room in Sugarcube Corner until I could get my own home.”

“Ahh, so the two of you were roomies! How sweet! You must really care about her.”

“W-Well, yeah,” I said, somewhat caught off-guard. “She’s the first friend I made here. She’s always been there for me. I owe my stay in Ponyville to her.”

Dolly merely smiled. Her quill, having exhausted one page, moved on to the next.

“Do you remember anything about your home?”

“Of course. I lived with my mother and father, and…”

I paused. An uncomfortable feeling began welling in my throat at remembering my folks.

“And?”

“And…well, I left so abruptly. I was, and still am, worried about how they think of what might have happened to me. I never even said goodbye…”

“You miss them?” asked Dolly, in a tone of sympathy.

“Continuously…”

Dolly patted my arm in a consoling way, as the quill continued to zoom.

“But do you find yourself at home here in Ponyville?”

“It took a little getting used to at first,” I admitted. “One does not simply step into a town full of candy-colored equines. Pinkie and her friends helped me adjust, though, and I would have to say, yes, I feel at home in Ponyville.”

“Have you found employment yet?”

“I have, actually. Well, after a fashion. I met with Princess Celestia about a week ago-”

“Ah, you’ve met the Princess! I’ll bet she was quite taken with you,” said Dolly, winking roguishly.

“She was very gracious, if that’s what you mean,” I responded, blushing at Dolly’s suggestion. “And so I was given a job on-call within her royal staff. Kind of an ambassador, you might say.”

“Ohh, how fantastic!” said Dolly. “Just what Equestria needs: someone who can really represent true ‘human nature’! I think we can expect great things from that!”

“You think so?”

“I know so. One last question: if given the chance, would you leave Equestria behind to return to your old home?”

I took a little time to answer this; it reminded me of the day Twilight revealed that spell to me.

“…I would,” I said, “but not without saying goodbye to everypony. I already made that mistake once…”

“Ah, of course, of course…” said Dolly, in an understanding way. “Well! I think that’s enough to go on!”

The quill stopped, dotted the page with a period, and Dolly stashed it and the notepad away.

“Thank you very much for your time, honey,” she said, getting up. “I hope we may meet again very soon for another little chat. Our readers would love it.”

“Um, sure, why not?” I responded, with a shrug. She was a little weird, but kind of nice, actually.

“Come along, Razzo,” said Dolly. “Toodles, Dave!”

And she set off down the platform, Razzo trotting beside her. After they had gone, I too made my way off the platform and for home.


***


As I half-expected, Ironmane was waiting for me with my bag of dues, and he was looking even more sour than usual.

“I know I’m late, but I have an excuse,” I said, pointedly. “I was escorting Pinkie Pie to visit her family. They live down south from Ponyville.”

“Indeed?” asked Ironmane, raising an eyebrow. “Well, perhaps the time taken in preparing prevented you from seeing it.”

“Seeing what?” I asked, confused.

“This!” Ironmane spat, holding up a Friday edition of the Ponyville Express. I looked at it, and felt the blood drain from my limbs.

There, on the front cover, was a picture of me on last Monday, singing and dancing, a mug in my hand. Beside me danced Rainbow Dash and Berry Punch. The article read as follows:


“The Ponyvillian Human: Life of the Party?”

by Dolly Tribune


‘Ponyville is not exempt from the occasional perplexing phenomena. Few will ever forget the rampaging dragon that savaged the streets, nor the brief, yet equally terrifying, appearance of Cerberus. However, this may be one for the record books, even in Ponyville’s own prodigious accounts of the bizarre.
Barely two weeks ago, Ponyville was graced by an unexpected, and quite alarming, visitor: a human. The first human, in fact, to have been seen in Equestria for many years. Pony scholars still debate whether or not humans of Equestria have truly existed, as evidence has proven either inconclusive, or has been proven fabricated by fanatics. One Lyra Hearstrings, in fact, has been accused several times of false rumors about human existence, though she stubbornly persists to this day. Well, it seems luck is finally shining down on Miss Heartstrings, as Ponyville is blessed with incontrovertible proof of human existence. We were even lucky enough to get an inside scoop about the town’s newest inhabitant by the very same pony. 
“He’s a little scary when you first see him,” says Miss Heartstrings, “but he’s actually really nice once you get to know him. I feel so happy! I’ve been telling my friend Bon Bon for years that humans were out there, and now, along comes a real live human! And he wants to be my friend!” The rest of Miss Heartstrings commentary was obscured by an excessive amount of excited squeals.
‘Indeed, the human, from what has been seen thus far, does not, despite his prodigious height, appear to possess any of the brutish or savage personality traits often associated with the lore of more skeptical pony intellectuals, who wish to affirm that they were uncouth and uncivilized. On the contrary, he presents an amiable attitude, and has often been seen, when not wandering the streets, to be in the company of Ponyville’s own  party planner extraordinaire, Pinkie Pie, who has been heard to affectionately refer to her human companion as ‘Davie’. The Express was not able to gain an interview with Miss Pie, but the level of attachment between the two is apparent. Can there be something beyond mere friendship between the party-planning pastry chef and her foreign tagalong? 
This Monday, however, at the introduction of Sweet Apple Acres’ annual cider season, human Dave displayed very lively and comical behavior upon drinking nationally-renowned Apple family cider, breaking into a song he dubbed ‘I Feel Witty’, which bore remarkable similarity to the famous ‘I Feel Pretty’ of West Stable Story. Pony historians and scientologists argue whether or not this display of euphoria should be amusing or alarming, as those of grimmer predispositions fear it may prove to be a demonstration of the unpredictability human Dave might exhibit at any time, offering credence to his connection to the humans of the past. Only time will tell whether or not this gentle giant might turn wild, but for the time being, all the Express can say is that he certainly loves his cider.

I gaped, open-mouthed, at the paper. Was this the scoop Dolly Tribune had published without my consent? Was this what had made Mr. Pie wary of my presence on his farm? It wasn’t at all what I had been expecting, though I had been half-dreading what it could be.

“I…I don’t know what I can say,” I said, finally. “I just met Dolly Tribune. We had a chat, and she seemed really nice.”

“She would,” growled Ironmane. “That’s how she reels her catches in: butters them up, and doesn’t let them see what she writes. The damage has already been done, I suppose, but mind yourself next time. She can get very nasty when you give her the right kind of bait…”

“Er, yes, sir,” I said, forgetting my grudge against Ironmane in light of this. I was already wondering how she might twist my little interview with her…

“Is she that bad?” I finally asked.

“Bad?” asked Ironmane. “Well, I wouldn’t go so far as to call her evil, but she’s a little too free with her editorial powers. Seems to give her the idea that she can write what she pleases. I take it you’ve heard of Gabby Gums?”

“I heard mention, yeah.”

“Well, Gabby Gums was, literally, kid’s stuff. Tribune’s worst pieces can get pretty nasty. Invasive of privacy, twisting words around, that sort of thing. Just mind your step around her. Don’t give her an excuse to gossip about you.”

I stared at Ironmane. Was he really concerned about my safety and reputation?…

He seemed to guess what I was thinking, as he said, snappishly,

“Don’t let your ideas run away with you, human. I’m only warning you so you don’t blacken the name of Her Majesty’s court. It would be an insufferable embarrassment if a member of staff was turned into a piece of wild gossip.”

Of course. He’d never admit he had my interests at heart. Well, never mind. It seemed fitting that way…

“Your weekly allowance,” Ironmane grunted, hefting the bag into my hand. “Use it wisely, of course.”

“Thank you,” I said, stiffly, and Ironmane swept off without another word.

“Wouldn’t hurt you to be civil and mean it,” I muttered after him, pocketing the bag of coins. I glanced at the paper left in my hand. He had a point, though. I suppose I would have to be careful from now on, if I didn’t want Dolly libeling me. Still, she seemed nice. Could she really be dishonest, intentionally harmful?…

“Well! Who is it I find here? Why, of course! It’s you, Dave, my dear.”

I jumped. The voice, though familiar, came right the flip out of nowhere, and right when my mind was preoccupied. I whipped around, and found myself facing Zecora, wearing her brown cloak, but with the hood down, and she was smiling.

“Zecora! You startled me. How are you?”

“Very good, I’m glad to say, but what leaves you so harassed today?”

“Oh…quite a few things,” I said, with a grim smile. “It’s a long story. Why don’t you come in? This is my home, after all.”

Zecora’s smile broadened, clearly glad for this display of hospitality. I opened the door, and she stepped inside.

“I’m afraid I don’t have much,” I said. “I’d offer you some tea, but I don’t have any tea leaves, just water to boil.”

I went to the kitchen and brought out a teapot and a pair of mugs as evidence. Zecora, however, said,

“That little detail shall not be a pest. You may boil the water, I shall do the rest.”

Confused, I complied, filling the pot with water and setting it on the stovetop, turning up the heat to let it boil. Zecora reached under her cloak and pulled out a small brown leather pouch tied with string. She opened it, reached inside with her hoof, and, holding it over each mug, dropped what looked like a pinch of dark-green leaves into each of them. They must have been some kind of tea leaf.

Soon enough, the teapot began to sing, and I carefully lifted it off and poured it out into the two mugs. A strong, bitter aroma filled the air, though it was not altogether unpleasant. Zecora nodded in a satisfied way and, taking one mug between her hooves, sat down at the little table I had in the kitchen. Taking the other, I sat beside her. Gingerly, I took a sip of the tea. The heat and bitter taste stung at my tongue at first, but once it started to cool, it proved quite good.

“I hope you can forgive me for not visiting you often, Zecora,” I said. “After what happened last time in the forest, I’m not too keen on a repeat.”

Zecora laughed softly.

“I quite understand, do not apologize. The forest holds many things not for pony eyes. But let us not speak of that place, and tell me what has given you a grim face.”

After taking a deep breath, I told her about the string of woes I had recently experienced: being bullied about by Ironmane, my disaster of a first mug of cider, being excluded from the Pies’ home, and finding about my unflattering appearance in the paper. The only thing I left out was my fallout with Trixie. All I said about her was that I had had a ‘disagreement with a friend’. Zecora, however, who had been listening attentively, had an odd expression on her face as I said this.

“This friend of yours, who might she be, to suddenly treat you so unkindly?”

“Er…I can’t really say,” I said, hesitantly. Cast away as I was, I couldn’t just forgo my promise to Trixie about her location.

Zecora raised an eyebrow.

“She’s…in a delicate position,” I said. “She doesn’t want to come out into the open for reasons of her own.”

“So she prefers to hide herself away, does she? I would not expect that from a pony like Trixie.”

“No kidding. With how grand she makes herself, I-”

I stopped short, feeling as though a lump of ice had fallen into my chest. I stared at Zecora, who gazed, unassumingly, back at me.

“H-How did you…?” I asked, feeling terrified. Could she read minds?!

“I see much when I choose to walk the land,” said Zecora, simply. “I passed through the woods, and noticed her caravan. I had heard Trixie had come back to town, but I had not known she chose to stick around.”

“I, uh…” I hesitated. Then, with a gulp, I said, “She made me swear not to tell anyone about where she is. If she found out-”

“It will not be your fault, because, you see, I found out for myself. You did not tell me.”

“…Yeah, I guess that’s true,” I admitted.

“Now, what has happened between you two? What’s brought this bad mojo floating around you?”

“…I don’t want her to stay cooped up in her caravan. I want her to be able to come out again, be able to step out into Ponyville with her head held high. I guess I ticked her off by hinting at it, however, because she threw me out on Friday.”

Zecora nodded knowingly, and said,

“The haughty do not welcome hearing their own faults. It is like dousing their wounds in bitter salts.”

I cringed from that mental image.

“But I don’t know what to do, Zecora. I was only trying to look out for her. She’d been looking kind of ill lately.”

Zecora raised her eyebrow again, questioningly.

“Well, you know…kind of pale, lines in her face, bags under her eyes. Her voice was kind of croaky, too.”

To my surprise, Zecora looked alarmed.

“And what of her magic? Was it off as well? Did it splutter when she tried to cast a spell?”

She asked this so sharply that I didn’t know what to say at first. However, casting my mind back to that time, I tried to recall what I had seen.

“…Now that I think about it…Yeah. Her aura was shuddery, like a badly-tuned TV.”

Zecora jumped up onto all fours, upsetting the mugs, which only had trickles of tea left.

“What’s the matter?” I asked, disconcerted. “Is it serious?”

“It may very well be, if we do not make haste! Quickly, Dave, we haven’t a moment to waste!”

Terrified of what Zecora might be thinking about, I jumped to my feet and followed her out the door, and we sped, full-speed, for Trixie’s caravan.


***


I hammered on the door when we reached it, but no answer came from within.

“Trixie?” I called. “Trixie! Open up!”

Still no answer.

Zecora went to look into one of the windows, and let out a despairing moan.

“Oh, this is bad as it could be…She is very ill, Dave. Come and see…”

I hurried to Zecora’s side and looked in, and I let out a groan like she had.

Trixie was lying on her bed, eyes half-opened and looking unfocused. She was very pale, and she was breathing hard. Her horn was sparking and spluttering, like a firework about to be set off.

“Trixie!” I yelled, worry filling up in me. I rushed to the door and pushed against it. It swung open, and I barreled in, rushing to the prostrated unicorn. I put a hand to her forehead. It was damp with sweat and very warm.

“She’s burning up,” I croaked to Zecora, who was looking grave. 

I scooped Trixie into my arms, where she hung limply, like a rag doll, and I carried her outside. I wasn’t going to let her stay like this, even if she didn’t like me anymore…

“She needs medical attention,” I told Zecora. “Is there a chance…?”

“She may last, but haste is what we need,” said Zecora, still looking discomforted. “Head to Ponyville Hospital with all your speed!”

“Do you know the way? Can you lead me?”

Zecora nodded and, without another word, sprinted off, me close behind and still carrying Trixie.

“…Dave?…”

I looked down into her face. She was staring up at me through bleary eyes.

“You’re gonna be ok, Trixie, I promise,” I panted.

Trixie didn’t answer, but her eyes closed, as if she were nodding off to sleep. She made no other movements as we sped for the hospital, every second needed for whatever had infected her. Even if I didn’t know what it was, the alarm in Zecora’s voice and face was enough for me.

(Just hang on, Trixie, I prayed, hang on…)
> The Sick and Bedridden Trixie
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Excuse me! Coming through! This is an emergency!”

I hardly saw where I was going. All I cared about was keeping my eyes on Zecora as she led the way. She was barking out exclamations in what I presumed was her native tongue, and ponies were leaping out of the way, muttering as we went. I heard some of them say,

“Is that Trixie?”

“I thought she’d left!”

“What’s happened to her?”

I didn’t care, though. I kept a headlong course straight ahead, Trixie hanging limply in my arms.

At last, we found ourselves charging up a hill, where Ponyville Hospital rested. We pushed our way in through the doors, charging into the lobby. The receptionist, a pink, rosy-cheeked Earth pony, looked up in surprise.

“Goodness me!” she exclaimed. “What’s all this?”

“Trixie…” I panted. “Need…Doctor…Fever…Horn…”

I had never run so fast or so hard in my life. My feet were throbbing, and there was a sharp stitch in my side, all of which I had ignored in the haste to get Trixie to the hospital.

At that moment, a door opened, and a unicorn stallion stepped out. He was a kind of cream color with a brown mane, wearing a white lab coat, glasses, and a stethoscope. His cutie mark resembled a heart monitor, and he was looking irritated.

“Nurse Tenderheart, what is all the commotion out here?” he asked.

“This gentleman, Dr. Stable,” said Nurse Tenderheart, pointing to me. “He says this young mare is in serious need.”

“She is!” I growled, through gritted teeth, mostly because of the pain in my side. “Doctor, she needs serious medical attention! She has a fever, and her horn’s been making weird splutters!”

Just as I said that, Trixie’s horn let off a loud, crackling spark, the glow feeble and wobbly, and then began making a low humming noise. Dr. Stable regarded her closely, then muttered, grimly,

“Goronide Bolezn…”

“Excuse me?” I asked, not having the slightest clue what ‘Gorey-Hide Bowl Resin’ was.

But the doctor didn’t answer that question. With a flare of his horn, he telekinetically drew a stretcher over.

“Place her down,” he said, briskly. “Quickly.”

I set Trixie down, and without another word, the doctor began wheeling her away down the hall, Zecora and I following close behind. As we went down the hall, Dr. Stable suddenly called through one of the doors.

“Nurse Redheart, will you assist me, please? We might have a G.B. on our hooves. Fetch an I.V. of Magus Stabilitus.”

We stopped at a ward door, and here the doctor turned to us.

“I’m afraid you can’t come through beyond this point,” he said. “She needs to be placed in I.C.U.”

“But-” I began. I didn’t want to just abandon Trixie like that…

“Thank you for bringing her in,” the doctor cut across, in a kinder tone. “You have my word that you will be informed when she may receive visitors.”

“O...Ok...”

He pushed the stretcher through the doors, and was accompanied by a white Earth pony mare, her pink mane done up into a bun behind her nurse’s cap, wheeling an I.V. with her. The doors closed behind them with a kind of finality, leaving Zecora and me alone outside them.

I sank into a chair by the ward, putting my face in my hands. Trixie was being put into intensive care? Just how seriously was she sick?...

I felt Zecora’s hoof on my shoulder, and I looked up into her almond-shaped eyes, full of understanding.

“Oh, Zecora,” I moaned, “I’m really worried about her...What is she even sick with?”

She gave a small sigh, then said,

“My answer will not be a stress reliever, but Goronide Bolezn is unicorn fever.”

“Well, I can see that!” I snapped, not really meaning to, but the stress of the situation was wearing down on me. “She’s a unicorn, and she has a fever! It speaks for itself, doesn’t it?”

Zecora, however, continued, patiently,

“A unicorn’s health is tied to its magic. If it goes out of control, the results can be tragic.”

These words sent an unpleasant chill through my frame.

“Very rarely does it take a fatal toll,” said Zecora, “but the unicorn’s magic goes out of control.”

“Thank goodness,” I said, relieved. “But, what do you mean ‘out of control’? You mean those sparks and splutters?”

“It may start out as those, my friend,” said Zecora, grimly, “but it becomes much more violent until the end…”

I gulped. That was a chilling thought...

“And all I can do is just sit here and let her suffer it out?” I asked.

“I’m afraid that is all you can do, except pray that she will make it through.”

“Oh, I’ll do that, of course,” I said. “But I just wish there was something I could do...”

I put my face in my hands again, and once more, I felt Zecora’s comforting hoof.

“Let us return to your house, you and me,” said Zecora. “We have not yet finished our tea.”

“...Yeah,” I muttered. “Yeah, let’s do that.”

I got up, numbly, and walked beside her, out of the hospital.


***


Even with the tea, I still felt at a loss for what to do. Trixie was in the hospital, and all I could do was sit by and let her suffer...

“I can’t just sit here, Zecora,” I said. “I have to do something...” I groaned and rubbed my temples. “What would Pinkie do in a situation like this?”

“Pinkie Pie, one so hearty?” asked Zecora. “I know she would throw a party.”

“What, a ‘Trixie’s Got Unicorn Fever and Is In the Hospital’ Party?” I asked, bitterly.

“That is not funny, my human friend,” said Zecora, sternly. “That will not make the misery end.”

“I know, I know...” I moaned. “I just wish she were here...”

At that moment, there was a knock at my door.

“Who is it?” I called.

“Derpy!”

Getting to my feet, I crossed over to the door and opened it. There indeed was my mail mare pal.

“Hi, Derpy.” I said, glumly.

“You ok?” she asked, looking concerned. “If you’re sick, I have a muffin in my bag for you.”

I couldn’t help it. I smiled.

“Thanks, Derpy, but I’m fine, really. What’s up?”

“Guess who got a letter!” said Derpy, in a happy singsong.

“Who, me?” I asked, pointing to myself.

“Yep!”

With her wing, she flipped open the little mailbox in front of my house, showing a single letter inside. Curious, I headed over and picked it up. To my astonishment, it was from the Pie family farm.

“A letter from the girls already? But it’s only been a day! How did it get here so fast?”

“Pegasi Express,” said Derpy, simply.

“Come again?”

“We’ve got pegasi placed at the borders of every city to intercept long-distance letters. Kind of like a relay race, actually. Since I’m Ponyville’s mail mare, I need to be notified when a letter is coming my way, and lo and behold, this one came my way, and just happened to be for you!”

“Huh. Well, let’s see what they’ve got to say. Why don’t you come in?”

I opened the door wider and bowed for her to enter.

“Ohh, that’s so gentlecoltly of you!” said Derpy, with a giggle, and she went inside with me. “Hi, Zecora!”

“And hello to you, my dear Derpy. How fair your children three?”

“Oh, they’re doing great! It feels like ages since I’ve seen you!”

As the two chatted, I opened the envelope and took out the letter inside. It read as follows:

“Dear Mr. Dave,
I would like to apologize for the coarse way I treated you at our first meeting. Pinkamena informed me of what a good friend you have been to her ever since your arrival, and I feel as if I may have treated you unfairly. I have been reading the papers, and they may have been a tad untruthful about you. In that light, I wish to rescind my harsh words at the farm, and hope you might accept my apology. You are welcome to return at any time, as Pinkamena assures me you are trustworthy.
Sincerely yours,
Igneous Rock Pie”

I was struck dumb with amazement. Mr. Pie was apologizing to me? It wasn’t at all what I was expecting, but it was by no means unwelcome. Looking down, I saw a postscript in Pinkie’s familiar loopy hoof-writing.

“P.S.
Pinkie here! Sorry about Daddy. Applejack and Grammy Pie got into a bake-off, and everypony won!”

Now that made me smile. It sounded like they were already having a blast up there. Now that I had Mr. Pie’s approval, I’d have to come up and see it for myself sometime.

“Sounds like they’re having a blast up there,” I said. “And it’s just what I needed: knowing Pinkie’s reunion is going great, away from ‘Goronide Bolezn’ and all that.”

“If it will make you feel better,” Zecora said, “you could always write your own letter.”

“…My own letter?”

And then it clicked.

“My own letter! That’s it! Zecora, you’re a genius!”

Zecora smiled, and I jumped to my feet.

“I gotta get some writing materials, right away!” I turned to Zecora and gripped her hooves in my hands. “Thanks, Zecora. If you hadn’t been with me when this started, I might have lost my head 10 times over.”

“You are very welcome,” said Zecora, gently, “and don’t you fret. She shall be back on her hooves yet.”

“Yeah. You’re right. I know she will. I’ll be right back, ladies.”

“See you in a bit!”

“Take care where you fare.”

I rushed to the door, but I paused for a moment and turned to take another look at Zecora. She smiled warmly at me, and I waved gratefully back, turning back and heading out.


***


I took it slow this time, because the stitch in my side was still aching. As I walked through Ponyville, I found myself crowded by many town ponies, muttering. They weren’t talking about me, however, but about Trixie. I tried not to get involved and headed for a stationary shop, buying my own parchment, feather quill, and ink bottle. As I was turning home, however, Lyra trotted up to me.

“Dave! What happened? What were you doing, carrying Trixie?”

“She’s sick, Lyra,” I answered. “She has some weird unicorn fever.”

Lyra gasped, her tangerine pupils shrinking.

“Not…not Goronide Bolezn?…” she asked, terrified.

“Yeah. You know about it?”

“Uh-huh. My…my uncle had it once. It left him bedridden for weeks. His horn was completely out of control. He accidentally turned my aunt into a flamingo when she tried to give him his fever medicine.”

(Weeks?…Will Trixie have to be there that long?…)

“How did you find her, anyway?” Lyra asked. “I thought she’d left Ponyville.”

“Zecora and I came upon her, by accident,” I said, quickly. I didn’t think it would do for anypony to know I’d been visiting her.

“Oh. Wow. Do you think she’ll be ok?”

“I hope so. Do you?”

“Well…” Lyra averted her eyes, guiltily. “I won’t lie, I haven’t heard many good things about her, but of course nopony would want her to die…”

“Nah, I didn’t think so,” I said. “You’re all too sweet for that.”

Lyra smiled and leaned against me gratefully.

“Oh! Speaking of sweet,” said Lyra, “Bonnie wanted me to deliver this to you.”

She reached into her saddlebags and pulled out a flat, red box reading ‘Bon Bon’s Bonbons’, handing it to me.

“The Choco-Box Deluxe!” she said, proudly. “A personal favorite of mine.”

“Aww, Lyra,” I said, touched. “This was really sweet of Bon Bon, but I didn’t do anything to deserve this.”

“You’re too modest,” said Lyra, grinning. “Go on, it’s a gift from the two of us. She had a hunch humans like chocolate, and wanted to know for herself.”

“Ahh, an experiment, eh?”

“She says I need a break from being taste tester, but what does she know?”

I chuckled.

“Well, thanks,” I said. “Give my regards to Bon Bon as well.”

“I will! Bye!”

And Lyra trotted away, humming to herself, while I headed for home.


***	


I returned to find Derpy and Zecora still chatting away happily, though they looked up as I came in and sat back down.

“Hey, Derpy? Do you think you could wait by until I’m done and pass it off to the next pegasus to the Pie family farm down south?”

“Sure thing!”	

“Great, thanks. Help yourselves, by the way,” I added, pushing the box of candy between them.

“A sweet treat? How generous of you!” said Zecora, delighted. “If you are offering, do not mind if I do.”

“Ooh, chocolate!” said Derpy. “I really shouldn’t. Buuuuuuuuut, maybe just one.”

She giggled and, taking what looked like one with caramel filling, gulped it down, Zecora taking one with nougat, as I grabbed a piece of paper, a quill, and an ink bottle, and, after popping in a peanut butter-filled chocolate (absolutely delicious, by the way), I began writing out my response letter. Thankfully, Pinkie’s had given me what I had been missing: the Pie farm address. I’d never have remembered it if she hadn’t sent it to me.

“Dear girls,
Just received your letter. Sounds like you guys are having a great time up there. I made it home ok, so no need to worry about that.
Things aren’t quite so peachy here, I’m afraid.”

I paused. Pinkie and I were the only ones who knew Trixie had been hiding in the woods. How would the others react when I told them?…For now, I guess I should just say it was some unicorn I found sick.

“Zecora and I found a friend of mine, and had to rush her to the hospital. I was unable to see her after they took her away, but Zecora told me she has some kind of unicorn fever with a weird name, but said it had to do with loss of control over her magic. She is currently in intensive care, so all I can do is hope she gets better.
Also, I believe I found that newspaper article that made Pinkie’s dad so adamant about me. Not exactly flattering, and I shudder to think what’ll come next, because I personally met the writer of that article, Miss Dolly Tribune. She seemed nice, but if she has that kind of gift for gab…Well, we’ll get to that eventually.
Hope to see you all back safely soon, and have fun with the Pies.
Your friend,
Dave.”

I finished the letter and sealed it in an envelope, scrawling out the address onto it.

“There we go. I entrust it into your care, Miss Hooves.”

I handed the letter to her, and she saluted.

“I won’t let you down!”

She was heading for the door when a thought suddenly struck me, and I called after her.

“Hey, Derpy?”

She paused at the door.

“Yeah?”

“Do you happen to know who lives next door? You would, wouldn’t you, since you deliver Ponyville’s mail?”

Derpy’s face fell.

“Normally, yes, but, the thing is…whoever lives there doesn’t get any mail.”

I felt my jaw fall open.

“N-No mail? At all?”

“None. I’ve never gotten any letter or package addressed to that house. I’ve never met or even seen who lives there.” Her ears dropped. “It must be awful, having no one to write to you.”

“Yeah,” I muttered, sadly. 

No mail at all? That poor pony must be miserable, or at least a shut-in, but then again, why would those terms be exclusive of each other? Trixie had hidden away in her caravan, depriving herself of all social contact, and look what happened to her...

I looked at Zecora. She looked grim about the idea as well.

“Well, thanks anyway, Derpy,” I said at last. “I didn’t mean to bring up such a touchy subject.”

“Oh, no, it’s not a big deal,” said Derpy. After a slight pause, she perked up again. “I’ll get your letter to Comet Tail on the north border lickety-split.”

“Great,” I said, gratefully. “You sure you don’t mind doing this?”

“I’m sure. I’ve done it loads of times. I know Ponyville like the back of my hoof!”

I smiled. Goofy as she looked, Derpy did seem to have a good head on her shoulders.

“Well, good luck,” I said. Then added, “Here, catch!”

I took another chocolate from the box and tossed it. Derpy stuck out her tongue and caught it.

“One for the road,” I said.

“Thankpth!” said Derpy, tongue still out. She pulled it back in and swallowed the chocolate. “Mmm! Coconut! Well, bye, Dave! Bye, Zecora”

With a merry wave, Derpy took off, and I watched her soar off until she was out of sight.

“I had better return to my forest home,” said Zecora. “There are herbs I must collect while I roam.”

“I gotcha. Well, thanks again, Zecora. I’m really glad I had your support today.”

Zecora smiled and put her hoof on the back of my hand.

“To care about a pony who cares only for herself, shows your heart is not locked away on the shelf. If you persist, just wait and see. Perhaps good friends you will once more be.”

I smiled back at her, and with that, Zecora took her leave, heading off toward the forest.

After she was gone, I fell to thinking again, not about Trixie, nor about Pinkie and the girls, but about my mystery neighbor. That pony next door never got any mail? Did they even know anypony in Ponyville, or were they completely alone? Pinkie floated into my thoughts. She knew everypony in Ponyville; everypony was her friend. Was this pony right next door the complete opposite: friendless and unknown? Did Pinkie even know about him or her?

Then, Derpy’s words floated into my mind.

“It must be awful, having no one to write to you...”

And then it hit me.

I was this pony’s neighbor. Was it not, then, my duty to extend the neighborly hand of friendship? Why not?	

I took another piece of paper and began to write.

“Dear neighbor,
I hope you are doing well. I just thought I’d send you this letter and say hi. I’m new here, and am still getting used to things. Have you lived in Ponyville long? Maybe we could get together and just talk sometime. That’d be nice, don’t you think?
Have a wonderful day.
Sincerely,
Dave.”

There. That ought to do it. It was a start, at least. I stuffed it into another envelope, wrote “From Your New Neighbor” on it, and headed out the door with it. 

Looking about, I saw that the area was completely empty, devoid of any pony presence or sound. Quietly, I crept over to the unknown pony’s house and went to the mailbox. It was dusty and faded, and looked like it had never been used. As carefully as I could, I opened the lid. It gave an unpleasant creak, and I froze, looking at the house.

Nothing stirred.

I slipped the letter inside and shut the lid. With that done, I hurried back into my house.

I shut the door, feeling an elated sort of satisfaction in my heart. I’d taken the first step toward making friends. Whether they found it welcome or not, I at least paid them a service nopony else had.

My stomach gave a loud rumble. In the wild madness that had started from finding Trixie sick in her caravan, I had neglected lunch, and only had one piece of chocolate in my stomach. Reflecting on what a hectic morning it had been, I decided to head to the marketplace and pick up some new groceries to spice up my meager stock.
> What to Do, What to Do
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

 
I woke up a little earlier the next day and after casting my mind around for something I might do that day, and finding nothing immediate, decided to pop over to the hospital and see if there was any news on Trixie. There probably wouldn’t be much progress so soon, but it didn’t hurt to check, in case something new had developed. With that in mind I grabbed a quick breakfast in the kitchen of some toast and an orange, having purchased additional and more satisfying foods yesterday: oranges, peanut butter, pasta noodles, lemons, and cucumbers, as well as some hot chocolate. Those should spice up my stock for a while.

As I headed out the door, I took a glance at the house next door. It was as silent and empty-looking as ever, nothing stirring, nothing moving. I wondered if the occupant even knew I had left a letter for them.


***


I had just stepped into the hospital when a voice called out,

“Human-dude! What’s up?”

To my complete bewilderment, my eyes encountered Vinyl Scratch, being moved around in a wheelchair by another nurse, yellow-coated with a curly blue mane and a harassed expression on her face. Her left hind leg was in a cast, and there was a considerable amount of bandaging around her head, save for a spot for her horn to poke out. She wasn’t wearing her sunglasses, and despite the situation she was in, her reddish-pink eyes were twinkling.

“Vinyl? What are you doing here?”

“Concert accident,” she said. “A stage dive gone wrong. Busted up my leg and my head. Ponies can be so inconsiderate at the wrong times, know what I mean? Letting a lady like me plummet to the cold, hard ground.”

She gave her vibrant, frizzy mane a prim toss, in a way that reminded me uncannily of Rarity. I nearly snorted with laughter. There wasn’t anything really ladylike about Vinyl at all. On the contrary, she was as boyish as Rainbow Dash. Then again, she was probably just goofing around about it, and there was no denying that, rough-and-tumble as she looked, she did have a certain charm about her. Still, it was a marvel how coolly she was taking being incapacitated like this.

“Oh,” I said, sympathetically. “I’m so sorry.”

“It’s cool,” she said, casually. “Happens all the time, though not usually ending with me in a wheelchair. Although I gotta say,” she added, looking down at her mobile seat, “this is a pretty sweet ride. How do you think I’d look rolling into a concert on this, a chariot of awesomeness,  explosions going off everywhere? *Kaboom!* *Blam!* *Kapow!*”

“Pretty silly, if you ask me,” said the nurse, dryly.

Vinyl shot her a look, then turned back to me.

“So what are you in for?”

“I’m checking on a friend,” I said. “She has Goronide Bolezn.”

Vinyl sucked in her breath through her teeth in a discomforted way.

“Rough stuff, dude. I had that when I was in my teens.”

“You did? What was it like?”

“Not cool, literally. Burning up, sweaty, half-awake all the time, horn going off when you don’t want it to. I remember magicking my wallpaper so that it started pulsing a bunch of psychadelic colors. And I thought I already had to throw up at the time.”

“Yikes. Are the spells given off in the instability always the same?”

“Nope. It depends on what’s going through your head, and if you’re loopy from fever...”

She didn’t finish; she didn’t have to. The thought alone was unpleasant enough.

“Well, hope you get better, Vinyl,” I said.

“Thanks, bro. Hope your friend pulls through, too. Anypony I know?”

“Er, probably not,” I said. “Out-of-towner.”

“Ah. Ok, then. Nurse!” 

She turned her attention to the nurse behind her chair. 

“Wheel me to the cafeteria! I feel the need for nourishment! Away!” she shouted, with the grandeur of a queen. Sighing wearily, the nurse pushed her chair down a hallway.

I couldn’t help laughing slightly. Vinyl had a great sense of humor. I’d have to catch one of her performances sometime.

“Ah! It’s you, is it?”

I turned around. It was Dr. Stable, holding a clipboard.

“I do apologize,” he said. “In the rush yesterday, I never got your name.”

“Dave, sir,” I said.

“Ah, good. Well, then, Dave, I suppose you’re here to check on Miss Lulamoon.”

“I am. What’s the status on her illness?”

Dr. Stable looked grimly at me.

“She’s entering the worst of it,” he said. “She’s gone from sparks to full, uncontrolled blasts. She’s muttering in her stupor, but none of us can hear what it is before she fires. Could be anything. She’s resting now, but was very agitated earlier. We had quite a hassle putting a Moderator on her horn.”

“What’s that?” I asked, curious.

“A Moderator is a device, sort of like a ring, used to stem the magical flow from a unicorn’s horn, perfect for this stage of Goronide Bolezn. It’s getting close enough to the patient to put it on that’s the hard part. Had my tail turned into a stalk of celery before we could get it on her. “

“Ooh,” I groaned.

“Indeed. So, as you can imagine, she is in no condition to receive visitors, but don’t worry. As soon as she is, you will be notified.”

“All right. Thank you, Doctor.”

“Have a good day.”

And he headed down the hospital hallway, while I headed for the front doors.


***


I was heading back towards home when I saw Derpy at my front door, straining to carry something in her hooves. It looked like a heavily-stuffed manilla envelope.

“Dave! Oh, thank Celestia you’re here! I dunno how much longer I can hold this!”

“Hi, Derpy. What is it?”

“For you,” she grunted, heaving it into my arms. “I was making my rounds when that grumpy unicorn you told me about gave it to me.”

(Grumpy unicorn? Aw, nuts.)

“He was at the train station, and asked me to give it to you. He said he didn’t have time to see you personally. Said he knew you’d understand, but he sounded like he was being sarcastic.”

“Yeah, that sounds like Ironmane,” I said. “Well, thanks, Derpy. You want to come in? I bought some hot chocolate yesterday.”

“Oh, no thanks,” said Derpy. “I’ve still got a lot to do, but thanks. I’ll see you later!”

With a sweep of her wings, she took off, and I went into the house, setting the envelope down on the table.

After I started a kettle of water to boil for hot chocolate, I sat down, opened the envelope, and extracted the mound of papers from within. My heart sank at the sight of the official-looking documentation sitting before me. There was a huge, bound stack of papers, like a manuscript, what looked like a worksheet, and a formal letter. I picked this last up to look at it.

“Dear Human,
As you are just starting your career in the Round Table, it is proper protocol to get you integrated into the type of work you will be engaged in. Enclosed is a manuscript containing detailed summaries on the creatures native to Equestria, as well as those who are the most frequently in contact with the kingdom as foreigners or ambassadors. After carefully reading the manuscript, record your observations on the sheet provided, to test your understanding of dealing with natives and non-natives. Keep the manuscript for yourself for future reference, mail the worksheet to my office as soon as you finish. You will have one week to complete it. Expect to receive similar papers periodically. We must ensure you do not embarrass the council with a lack of concentration. Be concise, but show me you did your reading.
Signed,
Minister Ironmane.”

I read over the letter a second time to get its full meaning in, and it only increased my growing resentment.

“Just dandy,” I grumbled. “It’s like I’m back in school again. Stupid horn-headed old vampire...Bet he was all too happy to load this onto me.”

The kettle began to sing, so I went and poured myself a mug of hot water, adding in my newly-bought cocoa and milk and stirring with a spoon.

I suppose I should say that the cookware/utensils that I had been given along with the house had a faded, used look to them, but at least they were clean. There were half a dozen mugs, an equal number of glasses, plates, bowls, a couple stainless steel pots, a pair of opposite-sized frying pans, and a handful of forks, knives, and spoons. There was also a toaster, the stove, and an oven. I wondered if a unicorn had lived here before, in order to have handled the utensils. Otherwise, it must have stunk to have to use your mouth to carry everything around.

After grabbing my ink bottle and quill, I sat down at the table with my mug of cocoa, setting it aside to cool as I turned to the manuscript. I decided to alternate between reading and writing down as I got to relevant passages. It had worked in the past for me. 

This was no breezy read, however. The manuscript was a long list of creatures known to have had a presence, however permanent or temporary, within the boundaries of Equestria, listed alphabetically, with certain attributes spelled out, such as country or region of origin, conformity with the laws of Equestria, notable acts of rebellion or civil disobedience, etc. Squaring myself for a very dull morning (and possibly afternoon), I began.

“Buffalo: Tribal bovines of Southern Equestria. Reported to have been connected to the original settlers of the land that became Equestria. Make their homes today in plains and flatlands. Traditionally engage in stampedes. Warrior-like, but fair in judgement and reason. Engaged in the brief Appleloosan Skirmish between the buffalo and the Appleloosan ponies, caused by a territorial dispute and musical provocation. Notable member: Chief Thunderhooves.”

...

“Diamond Dog: Trollish canine. Prefer to live underground. Gem-hunters and hoarders. Greedy, savage, and territorial. Driven away by Royal Guards during the Diamond Dog Revolt, when hundreds of these creatures stormed Canterlot to try and make off with the royal jewels.”

...

“Hippocampi: Half-horse, half-fish, though not considered a hybrid. Speculated to live in many aquatic domains, and to be related to the elusive Sea Ponies. Reasonable and fair, but difficult to converse with due to only being able to speak intelligibly underwater. Participated in the Battle of the Seas, which culminated in the driving away of the unruly sea serpent population. Notable member: Chieftan Kappa.”

...

“Minotaur: Bipedal bull. Guardians of mazes. Dwell in mountainous regions. Powerful, fierce, and fond of combat, but honorable and just. Distinguished themselves in the Great Timberwolf Invasion, where they rounded the rampant lupines up in a labyrinth in time for Royal Guards to arrive and subdue them. Notable member: Boarius of San Palamino.”


...


My eyes were aching with tiredness, and my back was killing me from sitting hunched over the manuscript. My hand was also seized up with major writer’s cramp. My watch was reading 1:30 PM., though it had felt like an even longer span of time since I had started. I was only halfway done, but I already felt majorly drained. I flopped my head onto the manuscript’s pages.

“I really, really, really hate you, Ironmane,” I groaned. “And there's going to be more of these? Oy...I need air. I’ll just give myself a bit of a break, take a walk.”

With an effort that sent another wave of pain over the already aching parts of my body, I got up from the table. As I did so, my eyes moved to the Daring Do book I had left sitting out. It occurred to me that I still hadn’t returned it, even though I’d finished it. Twilight and Spike were still away, however, but I had a feeling Owlowiscious was still at the library, and, well, let’s face it, that owl was a lot smarter than he looked. With that in mind, I tucked the book under my arm and headed out of the house, heading for Ponyville.


***


As I walked, despite my complaints against the workload Ironmane had just given me, I had to admit, it was interesting to know about the kind of creatures that had been encountered in Equestria, native or foreign. A lot of them were creatures I already knew about, ones from mythology. To think that they actually existed in this world, and that said existence was treated with normality, was both an amazing and a disquieting thought. I hadn’t forgotten about some of the more dangerous ones that had been listed, not as ambassadors, but as threats, such as those Diamond Dogs, and I hoped I wouldn’t have to deal with them during my stay.

Suddenly, I stopped. A familiar voice was drifting down the street, and, by the sound of it, it was rather annoyed. Seconds later, I knew where I had heard that voice, and ducked behind a house before I could be spotted. Sure enough, Dolly Tribune came walking down the street, accompanied by Papa Razzo.

“He just doesn’t understand, Razzo! They’ll positively eat it up! Of course, interesting as it was already, I thought it might help to spice up his little spiel, don’t you think?”

Razzo nodded, chuckling wheezily again.

“Think about it: a lone member of his kind, practically an alien, tragically separated from his home and family and surrounded by beings outside his belief. Desperate for companionship, he clings to one pony above them all: Pinkie Pie. Well, Razzy, there have been some ponies around Ponyville who think they know it better than even our two little friends might. Exclusive interviews! Ooh, just think of what we can spark in the readers’ imaginations! The Express will sell like never before! And our little human friend’s gonna be big, big, big!” 

She gave a scoff of indignation.

“Ugh! If only Headliner hadn’t made me hold off! We’d have had it out already, but oh no, he wanted to have the front page article be about that ‘supposed dragon sighting’ in Ghastly Gorge! The nerve! Who wants to hear about another nearsighted pony’s ramble when they could be getting something as hot as what I’ve got?!”

Razzo looked skyward in a sympathetic way.

They passed out of sight, not having noticed me at all as they went. So she was planning to embellish my interview with her with a bunch of alterations, was she? I had half a mind to march after her and demand that she put a stop to it before it even started. 

However, I didn’t want to raise a scene about it. If I just ran up to her and yelled at her, she’d probably make my story even worse, saying I was some kind of thug or rabble-rouser, and that was the last thing I wanted...Still, with any hope, nopony would take the article seriously. At least, nopony who knew me best, like Pinkie and the girls.


***


I reached the library without further incident, and sure enough, there was Owlowiscious, sitting on his perch.

“Hello,” I greeted. “How are you today?”

“Hoo.”

"That's good."

I went to the table, put the book down, and scribbled a note for Twilight.

“Finished and returning it. Fantastic read.
-Dave.”

“Is anyone looking after you?” I asked Owlowiscious. 

“Hoo.”

He pointed with one wing to a set of food bowls. The tiny one must have been for Spike’s phoenix, Peewee. A little note was placed against one of the metal canisters, probably containing bird chow.

“Dear Twilight,
Stopped over to feed Owlowiscious and Peewee, as you asked. Owlowiscious has been very well-behaved, but Peewee seems rather rambunctious. I could hardly get him to sit still and make him eat. Either he misses Spike, or there’s something else not right. Perhaps there’s something on raising phoenixes in one of the library’s books.
Hope you’re having a wonderful trip!
-Cheerilee.”

“Ah. Well, that’s good,” I said. “I can see Cheerilee often stopping by a library. You’re in good hooves.”

“Hoo.”

“Still, Peewee’s getting restless? Do you know what that’s about?”

Owlowiscious gave a little shrug, though he looked slightly concerned.

“Well, if anypony can sort it out, it’ll definitely be Twilight, when she gets back,” I said, reaching up to stroke the top of Owlowiscious’s head. He closed his eyes in contentment. “I’ll see you later, Owlowiscious.”

“Hoo.”

And I headed out the library, closing the door gently behind me. Did Spike know Peewee was acting weirdly? He’d never mentioned anything about it before.


***


I hardly knew where I was directing my footsteps, and, quite suddenly, found myself standing before a familiar building: Bon Bon’s Bonbons. The last time I’d been here was when I followed the sound of Octavia’s cello and invited Lyra to the Q&A. It felt so long ago, so what harm was there in popping in again? 

I pushed open the door, the bell tinkling lightly.

“Welcome to Bon Bon’s Bonbons, home of the Triple-Choco Truffle. How may I- Oh, hello, Dave!”

Bon Bon was standing behind the counter, wearing a white apron. Lyra was sitting on a nearby stool, plucking delicately at her lyre. She looked up as I entered.

“Hey again!” she said, cheerfully.

“Hello, ladies. Just thought I’d stop inside for a bit.”

“Aha!” Lyra shouted, catching me by surprise. “See, Bonnie?” she went on, smugly. “I told you I was a lady.”

“Lyra,” said Bon Bon, dryly, “if you’re a lady, then I’m a parasprite.”

“Stay away from my pie, then,” said Lyra, in an almost threatening tone.

“Excuse me?” asked Bon Bon, hooves on her hips, looking both irritated and amused. “I’m not the one always thinking about food!”

“It’s not my fault! I’m your taste tester! You gave me the job!”

“You volunteered for the job, you mean.”

“And did you say no?”

“Well, no, but-”

“There you go!” said Lyra, triumphantly. “It’s your fault if I have food on the brain. Case closed.”

Bon Bon sighed, wearily, before turning to me.

“Is there anything I can do for you today, Dave?”

“Well, first off, I wanted to thank you for that Choco-Box Deluxe you sent via Lyra.”

“Oh, it was nothing. Just our little gift from us to you.”

“And I thought I’d just come by and see how you two have been.”

“Oh, pretty well. Lyra’s been at her harp again.”

“How many times do I have to tell you, Bonnie? It’s a lyre,” said Lyra, in a testy voice.

“Really?” asked Bon Bon, raising an eyebrow. “Are you calling it dishonest?”

“Oh, har-dee-har,” said Lyra, sarcastically. She then looked at me and said, “Bonnie doesn’t have as much of an appreciation for the musical arts as some of us do.”

“I like music just fine,” said Bon Bon, shortly.

“Exactly,” said Lyra. “‘Just fine’. Octavia wouldn’t let you get away with ‘just fine’.”

“And since when have you ever followed a word of advice Octavia gave you?”

Lyra merely answered by sticking her tongue out at Bon Bon.

“Oh, you’re impossible!” snapped Bon Bon. She turned to me. “So sorry, Dave. Was there anything you wanted?”

“Well, no, not in particular-”

“I’ve got something to ask you,” Lyra said, suddenly. “Something I forgot to yesterday.”

“Er, yes?” I asked, surprised by her abrupt tone.

She patted a stool beside hers with her hoof, obviously wanting me to sit next to her, so I did. She gazed at me intently with her orange eyes.

“How come you never told me you were so musically gifted?”

I blinked.

“What do you mean?”

“Aw, don’t play modest,” said Lyra, nudging my ribs. “That little ditty you sang during cider season.”

I felt my stomach twinge.

“Oh, that,” I muttered. “Well, I was pretty giddy after drinking that stuff, so-”

“But all that energy, all that vocal power, after just one mug!” said Lyra, admiringly. “Whenever I have too much cider, Bonnie has to carry me home on her back.”

“And she is not an easy load to carry,” said Bon Bon. 

Lyra ignored her, and, when she turned back to me, seemed to notice the uncomfortable look on my face.

“Hey,” she said, in a gentler voice, putting her hoof to my knee. “You’re not still beating yourself up over that Tribune article, are you? I was kinda mad when she used what I said in it. I didn’t think she was gonna use it for that.”

“Not as much as I was before,” I admitted. “I can’t find fault with you, Lyra. I was really more worried that you girls might have had different opinions about me. I’m already concerned about that now, because Dolly cornered me yesterday and asked for an interview.”

“Oh boy,” said Lyra, grimly.

“That mare!” hissed Bon Bon. “I’m not saying she’s got a bad heart, but she seems more concerned for the sale of the paper then she does for how she paints who she writes about. Remember when she wrote about you, Lyra?”

Lyra nodded, looking glum.

“What? What did she say about you?” I asked, feeling a surge of anger at whatever injustice might have been inflicted.

“Eh, it could have been worse. She called me a ‘loony human-obsessed lyrist’.”

“You are not loony!” I snapped. “I can’t believe her!”

“Thanks,” said Lyra, leaning against me gratefully. “I’ve learned to live with it, though, and so should you. If that article she makes about you is even worse than the first one, I’ll still be on your side.”

“And so will I,” said Bon Bon. “You’re a sweet, considerate boy, and nothing that bovine of a unicorn writes about you will make that any different.”

Lyra put her hooves around me. I smiled at the pair of them. I’d had a feeling they wouldn’t just turn against me like that.

“Thanks, girls. That means a lot to me. So, Bon Bon,” I went on, in a different tone, to move on to a new subject, “with this Nightmare Night coming up, are there any holiday sweets I ought to know about?”

Bon Bon looked very sly.

“Ohh, I’ve got something planned this year, but I can’t really give much away just now. Just know that it’s my most ambitious project yet, and I need all the help Lyra can give me for it.”

I glanced at Lyra. She was looking secretive as well.

“Well, if you want it a surprise, say no more,” I said. “I won’t pry.”

“Thank you,” said Bon Bon. “But now, tell us about how things are going with you. How’s the new house coming along?”

“Slowly, but it’s getting there.”

And I spent much of the afternoon sitting and chatting with Lyra and Bon Bon about this or that, about Pinkie and her friends going to visit the Pie family, about the surprise apology Mr. Pie had sent me, about the new workload I was being set by Ironmane, and about Trixie’s illness, though it was Bon Bon who brought it up.

“Lyra told me you told her Trixie has Goronide Bolezn. Is it true?”

“I’m afraid so.”

“But how did she even contract it? It’s not even that cold yet.”

“So it happens when the weather gets cold?”

“Uh-huh,” said Lyra. “It usually comes with a bad fever for a unicorn, so some mistake it for a flu, but it’s way worse.”

“Didn’t your Uncle Lute catch it once?” asked Bon Bon.

“Yeah. I had to stay away from him for a while even after the symptoms went away. They didn’t want me catching it too, at such a young age.”

“Is it worse for younger or older unicorns?” I asked.

“Younger,” said Lyra, “because younger unicorns don’t have as much control over their magic. Of course, it can be bad for older unicorns, since their magic is stronger and more developed.”

“And what do you think about it being Trixie who’s sick?” I asked Bon Bon.

“Honestly, when she came to Ponyville, I thought she was a bit of a joke. All those flashy fireworks and smoke clouds. It was nice to look at, but what did it really say about her? That she’s good with pyrotechnics.”

“And the Ursa Minor thing?” I asked.

“I knew she was blowing hot air about it,” said Bon Bon. “But I never expected to actually see one, let alone marching through Ponyville. Those two colts, Snips and Snails, were being very stupid when they lured that thing here.”

“What happened to them when Twilight got rid of it?” I asked. “Did they get punished for being so careless?”

“I can’t really say for certain if they got punished or not,” said Bon Bon, thoughtfully. “Twilight made them clean up the damage the Ursa made, and then...gave them mustaches.”

“...What?”

“Exactly what we were thinking at the time!” said Lyra. “Twilight’s brilliant and all, but she can be pretty weird sometimes.”

“Like somepony we know?” asked Bon Bon, wryly.

“Aw, shut up,” said Lyra.

The sun was beginning to sink by this time, so I decided to take my leave of the two best friends, trying to resist the tempting urge to sample something behind the counter. I still had a lot of chocolate in the Choco-Box Deluxe to last me for a while. The two bid me farewell cheerily, telling me I was welcome anytime I wanted to stop over, and I assured them that I wouldn’t waste such an opportunity.


***


Upon arriving home, I found another letter waiting in my mailbox. To my excitement, it was from the Pies. That was really speedy delivery work by those pegasi!

I went inside, sat down, opened it, and as I read, I recognized the writing and the general voice of the message to be from Twilight:

“Dear Dave,
Sorry to hear about your friend. It’s highly unusual for a unicorn to catch Goronide Bolezn at such an early time of the year, but we have to make exceptions, I suppose. Be sure the doctors put a Moderator on her horn before it’s too late. The magical outbursts of G.B. are highly dangerous, especially under a fevered mind. Don’t worry, though: it’s rarely fatal, even if it is a danger to the surrounding populace; she should be fine in a week or two. 
Incidentally, I know I asked Cheerilee to, but would you also mind stopping by the library on occasion to check on Owlowiscious and Peewee? Thanks!
Hope everything else is going well back home. Mr. and Mrs. Pie took us to the village yesterday and showed us around the town. It’s quite pleasant, actually, and has quite a lot to do if rocks aren't your thing.
Pinkie’s really gotten comfortable around her family. Grammy Pie has been telling us a lot about when Pinkie was a filly, after she’d gotten her cutie mark, that is. The farm’s been really booming ever since Marble and Limestone got theirs. Mr. and Mrs. Pie must be really proud. 
Stay safe, and talk to you later!
-Twilight”

That was good to hear. It was a relief to know that everything was still going well with the girls. Almost as soon as I finished reading, I went to get some fresh paper and ink, and wrote a response,

“Dear Twilight,
She’s in safe hooves at the hospital, and does have a Moderator on her, so no worries about that. This village sounds nice. I’ll have to find a way to see it for myself sometime.
I’ll pop in to check on the birds, though I did earlier today. Cheerilee left a note saying Peewee’s restless. Do you know what might be causing it? Maybe he misses Spike.
Hope to hear from you soon!
-Dave” 

I sealed up the letter, wrote the address down, and took it to the mailbox, lifting the flag up for Derpy to see. Then, as I went back inside to heat up some water for cooking pasta for dinner, I had something else on my mind: my half-finished assignment from Ironmane. I sighed, knowing it was going to be a long night. 

> Dolly Tribune's Big Scoop
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was nearly midnight by the time I had finally read through the entire manuscript and jotted down the last bit of info on the worksheet. It had been concerning zebras, how they were native to Zebrafrica, were mysterious in nature and skilled in herbal medicines and potion-brewing, just as Pinkie had told me about Zecora. I was just glancing at my watch to see what time it was, and when I found out, I just slapped my face down against the manuscript and fell asleep, my glasses slipping upwards.


***


When I woke up the next morning, the sun was shining oppressively through the window, blinding me even as I just barely opened my eyes. Groaning and shielding my face, I sat up. My back was aching from having slept slumped over like that, and my rear was numb from sitting so long.

“And this is only my first assignment,” I grumbled. “I can only imagine what he’s going to send me next time.”

I got up and stretched, though this made the pain in my back redouble. I shuffled to the door and opened it to get a breath of fresh air. This helped to wake me up slightly, and I was able to see the morning paper sitting out on the front step. Wincing as I bent over, I grabbed up the paper, went back inside, and stretched out on my bed to read.

The first words that caught my eye snapped me awake even more than plunging into an ice-cold bath. My breath seemed to catch in my throat, even though I should really have been expecting this.

Dolly Tribune had reared her head once again, and this was most likely the article she had been complaining had been held back. There, staring me in the face, was myself, looking rather dumbfounded. I didn’t doubt this was from Papa Razzo’s unexpected and altogether unwanted camerawork. They couldn’t have found a more flattering picture than that? The article below read as follows:


“The Ponyvillian Human: Innocent Visitor or Extra-Terrestrial?”
by Dolly Tribune


You may have seen him walking around Ponyville: an oddity amongst the populace, towering over even some of the largest ponies. I speak, of course, of the human among us. From the start, many have noted him as being in the constant company of Pinkie Pie, party planner and assistant at Sugarcube Corner, and testimony asserts that it was Miss Pie that discovered "Dave" outside Ponyville and brought him here. Since then, the two have been practically inseparable, and tongues have even begun to wag about the nature of their closeness: “They spend a lot of time with each other” said one anonymous pony. “It’s really cute, seeing them walking together,” said another. “I’ve seen her hug him a lot. She’s a frequent hugger, but I think she’s rather fond of him,” said yet another. These are things we've seen from him so far, but what do we really know about him? Star reporter Dolly Tribune conducted a brief interview with this enigmatic creature.

‘Shockingly, the first thing I learned from our talk was that he is not even of this world. “I come from another world entirely,” he said. “I live on Earth, but the Earth I come from doesn’t have talking ponies.” I am still unsure what this choice of words could mean, and whether or not our young friend is merely being witty. Either our dear human is a believer of alternate worlds or dimensions, something the brilliant but eccentric writings of Star Swirl the Bearded have touched upon, or he is, in fact, a being descended from another planet within, or even beyond, our galaxy, dumped off or beamed here by his kind. Word on the street corroborates this theory, as several accounts have him falling from the sky like a stone dropped by a pegasus. The evidence is, indeed, very striking, but without concrete proof, all we have to go on are Dave’s claims, and he has already given evidence to lacking proper remembrance of his arrival, casting the veracity of his claims into considerable doubt.

‘Wherever he comes from, it is plain that he has left his home and family behind in coming here to Ponyville. A tear glistened in his eye as he related his dilemma to me. “I miss them continuously,” he said. “I left so abruptly. I was, and still am, worried about how they think of what might have happened to me. I never even said goodbye.” Again, only guesswork may shed some light into the true meaning behind these words, but the possibility remains that he was part of some experiment of his kind to send a human into Equestria, for unknown purposes. Perhaps he was unceremoniously dumped off by his people, as a means of getting rid of him. It could be, perhaps, that he had done something to remove himself from his species’ favor, and so was subjected to exile in our world.

‘This does not seem entirely implausible, given his behavior only last week. During cider season at Sweet Apple Acres, run by the hardy Apple family, Dave took merely one mug of apple cider and went on an inebriated rampage. He put the ponies around him into considerable discomfort as he lurched and demonstrated his intoxicated stated through song. His mood even affected two nearby ponies, inducing them to join his indecent behavior: Rainbow Dash, chief weathermare of Ponyville, and Berry Punch, local brewer. The fact that Dave was reduced to drunkenness after only one mug is remarkable enough, but his exuberance appears quite contagious.

‘Even worse than knowing what a single mug can do to him, is the fact that he was allowed the freedom to live, however temporarily, under the same roof as two infant foals. Penniless and without a place to call home, Dave was encouraged by Ms. Pie, to take up a temporary residence within Sugarcube Corner, local bakery. The bakery, under the patronage of the Cake couple, kept him with a roof over his head until he could acquire his own home, but perhaps it was not the wisest decision in the world. It calls into question whether it is considered sound parenting to allow a creature, ponykind as a whole knows very little about, who has publicly demonstrated volatile and spontaneous behavior when exposed to mild cider, to sleep within the same home as two babies. The Cakes are unquestionably welcoming and good-hearted ponies, but recklessness such as this is tantamount to putting them in the den of a manticore. Local parents are in agreement with this. “It’s disgraceful!” said one mother, who wishes to remain anonymous. “Keeping a perfect stranger, and one who gets inebriated so easily, in their home, with two innocent, defenseless foals! Anything might have happened! My heart already skips a beat whenever I remember that Pinkie Pie keeps a pet alligator in the same home! It was a relief to know that that boy wasn’t staying in Sugarcube Corner anymore, and that those poor babies are safe from his bad influence.”

‘Lastly, I asked him, casually, if he would be willing to leave Equestria if it meant a chance to return back to his own kind. His answer? “I would, but not without saying goodbye to everypony. I already made that mistake once.” To my discomfort, he never added whether or not he would consider returning. One hopes that even if he did, Dave, an oddity on all accounts, and quite possibly even hazardous, will choose to stay where he can do the least damage.’




The paper trembled in my hands. It felt as if I could have squeezed the ink right out of it, the way I was gripping it. A burning heat seemed to emanate from my palms, and my brow and scalp felt as if they were heating up as well. 

Anger: hot, boiling, furious anger, anger like that which I had never felt before, was rising up inside me as I read over the article again. The worst phrases jumped out at me.

“A being descended from another planet”

“Part of some experiment”

“Unceremoniously dumped off”

“Demonstrated volatile and spontaneous behavior when inebriated”

“A perfect stranger, one who gets inebriated so easily”

“Bad influence”

“An oddity on all accounts, and quite possibly even hazardous”

It was worse than I could have imagined. Even in spite of the warnings I’d been given, the assurances that it would have been nothing to worry about, it was still horrible to endure. That woman, that mare had made me sound like a dangerous, sketchy, alcoholic alien, an exile from my own world, a pawn in an experiment! More than that, she dared to insult the Cakes, calling them bad parents for letting me near the twins! I hadn’t laid one offending finger on Pound or Pumpkin! How dare she put blame on them! And she had the audacity to claim I was a bad influence to foals? If anything, she was the bad influence!

There was a sudden knocking on my door. Still feeling hot and furious, I got off my bed and marched over, throwing it open so suddenly that I almost hit the pony behind it. I felt a slight check in my wroth as I realized it was Derpy.

“Oh! Sorry, Derpy. I didn’t mean to swing the door open like that. I’m just in a really bad mood right now.” Remembering it reduced my last sentence into a growl.

“You’re not the only one,” said Derpy, in an icy tone I had never noticed in her before. 

Now that I took a good look at her, I saw that her face was unusually stony, her wonky eyes glaring, the yellow irises like ovals of flame. Clutched in her wing was a newspaper, and it all made sense.

“You saw it too, huh?” I grunted.

“I did, and I thank Celestia Scootaloo didn’t,” said Derpy, her voice quavering slightly, as if she were about to burst into tears. “How dare she...how dare that Tribune cow write such rubbish! The very idea of calling you an alcoholic alien, and a bad influence to foals! It’s outrageous! You saved my little darling from the Everfree Forest. How could she possibly think I, anypony would swallow this tripe after knowing what you did?”

“Then why don’t the two of us do something about it?” I asked.

“Like what?”

“Like marching down to the Ponyville Express’s office and giving that acid-tongued unicorn a piece of our minds!”

I could see the resolution waver in Derpy’s eyes. Causing a public scene must not have been what she’d had in mind. However, her face hardened once again. She looked up at me and nodded. I shut the door behind me, and the two of us started marching toward Ponyville.


***


As we came upon the main street, I saw many ponies flocked together, having what looked like a heated argument. Many of them were brandishing newspapers, so I figured their topic was my article. I didn’t care about that, however. All I wanted was to get at Dolly.

Suddenly, many members of the crowd looked up and saw Derpy and me coming. The huddle broke apart and began crowding around us.

“It’s outrageous!” screamed Bon Bon. “How could she?!”

“Exiled alien, my flank!” growled Lyra.

“An alcoholic? You? You’re a total abstainer compared to somepony like me!” snapped Berry.

“A bad influence to foals? I invited you to lecture my class! Would I have if you were a bad influence?” shouted Cheerilee.

“Mah sisters wouldn’t be friends with you if you were a bad influence!” grumbled Big Macintosh.

I’d never seen many of these ponies so angry before, and all because of me, but, like I said, I didn’t care at that moment.

“Where are you going, Dave?” asked Caramel. “You’re not about to do something stupid, are you?”

“Derpy and I are going to have a little chat with Miss Tribune,” I growled through clenched teeth. “It’s time she got a few facts straight!”

This took many ponies aback, and a second later, a new tidal wave of shouting washed over us as we continued on.

“Don’t do that!” said Minuette. “It’s not worth making a scene over!”

“Yeah, you show that old liar!” roared Lyra.

“Do you want to give her something else to deface you with?” asked Bon Bon. “If you do this, she’ll call you a raving rabble-rouser or something!”

“She deserves it!” yelled Berry.

“Derpy, how can you let him do this?” asked Golden Harvest.

“My Scootaloo wouldn’t have been brought back safely if it weren’t for Dave,” said Derpy, coldly. “If you think I’m going to let Tribune get away with this, you’re out of your mind!”

“I’m with you, Mom!”

I turned. Sparkler had come to march along by my other side. Our eyes met, and we both exchanged nods of understanding.

The last to catch up to us were the Cakes themselves, as our path took us past Sugarcube Corner. I have to admit, I’d always thought of them as being some of the calmest, most peaceable ponies in Ponyville. Seeing them absolutely livid, at this moment, was therefore enough to make my heart jump, even in my furious resolution.

Before they could say anything, however, I said,

“I want the both of you to know, that I am not going to let her get off scot-free for implying that you’re bad parents. You’re great parents! You’re raising Pound and Pumpkin into healthy young foals, and you’re parental figures to Pinkie. If she thinks she can get away with such slander...”

“Thank you, Dave,” said Mr. Cake. “We knew you were nothing like what that Tribune mare said.”

Mrs. Cake merely nodded, and they joined the crowd.

Several of the ponies still tried to hold us back. Some were trying to placate me (“Come on, Dave, be reasonable. She’s written a lot worse. It’ll pass”), others were more critical (“Don’t be an idiot! Don’t rise to her bait! It’s what she wants: another excuse to slander you!”). Some of the unicorns actually tried that object manipulation thing with their magic by grabbing my wrists and trying to pull me away from my intended course. I strained against them, as if I were pulling weights behind me with iron manacles around my wrists.

“Let go of him!” I heard Lyra shout.

“He can’t! He shouldn’t!” I heard several ponies clamor disjointedly.

For a moment, I thought they were going to succeed, when, all of a sudden, I felt a pair of forelegs grip me from under my arms, and I felt myself being propelled forward. Looking up, I saw that Derpy was actually pushing my along, wings flapping furiously. I heard the strains of the unicorns as they still tried to hold me back. And then, something pressed against my back, and the force applied nearly lifted me off my feet. It was Big Macintosh, shunting me along with his workhorse muscle! These ponies really did have my back.

At last, we came to a low, white building where the words The Ponyville Express were advertised in enormous block letters stretching across the entrance. Dolly had to be inside.

“Still not too late to back out,” said Minuette.

“Not...a...chance!” I growled, helping Derpy and Big Mac along with her efforts.

I pushed the doors wide open and marched inside. With me went Derpy, Sparkler, Lyra, Bon Bon, and Berry. The rest hung outside, either yelling encouragement or bemoaning our apparent foolhardiness. From outside, Big Macintosh stood right in front of the doors as a kind of guard, preventing anypony who was against our mission from interfering. We strode straight up to the receptionist’s desk, where a bored-looking unicorn mare with a ponytail was sitting. She looked up at us, completely unperturbed by our flushed and angry countenances.

“Can I help you?” she asked, in a nasally voice.

“You most certainly can, ma’am,” I said, in a voice of deadly calm. “We want to have a word with Miss Dolly Tribune about the front page article in today’s paper.”

My entourage nodded in agreement.

“If you have any complaints, go to the editor-in-chief,” said the receptionist, still looking bored, and even beginning to file at her hooves with an emery board. “He’s the one who finalizes the stories for the paper.”

“Is that so?” I asked. “Well, then, which way is his office?”

“Straight down the hall, right at the end,” said the receptionist, not looking up.

“Thank you,” I said, tersely, and headed for the hallway, the others following.

Sure enough, right at the end of the hall was a door marked ‘Headliner: Editor-in-Chief’. I knocked on the door.

“Come in,” came a young man’s voice.

I opened the door to find an Earth pony stallion sitting behind a desk. He was young and handsome, with sea-green eyes like Fluttershy’s, a pale cream coat, and a brown, short-cropped mane. His cutie mark, just visible over his desk from where I stood, resembled a piece of paper with a green check mark over it. Unlike the receptionist, however, he was caught off guard by our behavior.

“Is something the matter?” he asked.

“Very much the matter, sir,” I said, gruffly. I nodded to Derpy, who slapped her cover of today’s paper down on Headliner’s desk. “We wanted to have a word with you about Miss Tribune’s article.”

Unless it was my imagination, Dolly’s name seemed to make Headliner jump slightly.

“What about it?” he asked, rather sharply. 

Then, as he looked me over, his eyes widened in sudden comprehension. 

“Hang on...you’re the Ponyvillian Human!”

“I am,” I said, through gritted teeth, “and I’m also, according to Miss Tribune, an exiled alien, an alcoholic, and a bad influence on foals!”

“...Do you mean to imply that these claims aren’t true?” asked Headliner, in a level, yet slightly nervous tone.

“Of course I’m implying that!” I snapped, making him recoil. “You let this fraudulent scandal pass, sir, and we’re not leaving until we set things straight!”

There were murmurs of assent from my friends. Headliner stood up straight, clearly doing his best to remain calm under such pressure.

“That’s a very grave accusation to make to a pony of my title,” said Headliner, sternly. “As editor-in-chief, it is my job to inspect all news stories before they are put into the paper.”

“Which is why this is so much harder on you,” I said, grimly.

“What do you mean?” asked Headliner, sharply.

“Mr. Headliner, tell me: have you always approved of Dolly’s articles?”

Headliner looked slightly nervous again. His eyes flitted to the door, as if worried she was going to barge right in at that moment.

“Well, yes. Some sound quite outlandish, but she always assures me she had conducted considerable research in order to gain the information.”

“The only thing she’s gained,” said Derpy, “is a group of ponies who think she’s gone too far!”

“And about 10 pounds since last month!” chimed in Berry. Lyra snorted with laughter, but she was quelled by a glare from Bon Bon.

“W-Well, in that case, let’s go over the article, and you can tell me where the problems lie,” said Headliner, tenting his hooves together and giving me a scrutinizing look. He looked like he was trying to put on a brave face for us.

I took a deep breath. I didn’t want to be too angry with this stallion. He wasn’t the one who wrote the article. Then again, he had passed the story, so he was partially responsible.

“First off, I’m not going to lie about Pinkie and me. We are good friends, though I personally have never heard these claims that there’s ‘more between us’. I owe a lot to her, and she’s always been there for me.”

“I see,” said Headliner, “so you have no complaints against that.”

“Not particularly, but where I do start to lose my temper,” I continued, anger rising again, “is where she actually starts her little testimony!”

I jabbed a finger at the paper.

“These claims that I come from an alien world, that I was dumped off by my people as a kind of exile, are ludicrous!”

“But you do admit that you have no memory of how you did get here?” asked Headliner, raising an eyebrow.

“...Well, no, I don’t have any memory of it,” I conceded, grudgingly.

“Then, for all we know, you could be from an alien world.”

“But-” Lyra tried to interrupt, but the others shook their heads, intimating to her that she should not butt in.

“It’s not too implausible,” I said, then added, in a heated tone, “but that doesn’t excuse what she wrote next!” I took another deep breath. “I know I may have gone a little nutty on the first day of cider season-”

“A little nutty?” asked Lyra. “You were full-blown singing and dancing!”

“Lyra!” chided Bon Bon.

“But it was only one mug, and I never went back for another all through the rest of cider season. Ask anypony, they’ll vouch for me.”

“He never did show up for more cider,” attested Sparkler.

“He must have thought one mug was enough,” said Berry.

“After what happened, I certainly did,” I said. “It’s a real shame, though. If it didn’t do that to me, I wouldn’t care. That stuff’s pretty dang delicious.”

“Yeah,” said Lyra, fondly. “That stuff’s golden heaven in a mug!”

She was leaning against Bon Bon as she reminisced, but she was brought back straight by an irritated nudge from her.

“Such a killjoy,” I heard her mutter.

“I myself enjoy a good mug every now and then...” said Headliner, fondly, but he seemed to catch himself, as he cleared his throat and said, “So this bit about going on a drunken rampage?”

“Is highly exaggerated,” I said. “Like I said, I did go a little crazy, going into a full song and dance routine, but I felt really euphoric at the moment, and Berry Punch and Rainbow Dash were sharing my enthusiasm.”

“It was like I knew his version by heart,” said Berry.

“And where is Miss Rainbow Dash?” asked Headliner. “Can she provide testimony?”

“She can, but only when she returns. She’s currently visiting the Pie family with her friends.”

“I see,” said Headliner. “Anything else?”

“That’s not even half of it,” I went on, glaring at him. “According to Miss Tribune, if I am an outsider with an affinity for inebriating myself, which I can certainly tell you I do not possess, then I am, therefore, not to be trusted around the foals of this town!”

“Well, you must understand how concerned parents might become about a case like yours,” said Headliner. “Given the height with which you took your cider-induced shenanigans-”

“I understand that!” I snapped. “What I don’t approve of is her bringing the Cakes into this!”

Headliner gave a sudden start.

“The Cakes? Mr. and Mrs. Cake of Sugarcube Corner?”

“Unless you know of any other Cakes, sir, then yes.”

“But-but I don’t remember reading about them when I reviewed Dolly’s piece!” he said, suddenly sounding panicky. “Did I just skim over it? Or-” 

He suddenly paused, horrified comprehension on his face. What was he talking about? Was he implying that Dolly had somehow added that bit about the Cakes after her story was approved, without Headliner? 

He leaned forward and asked, in a tremulous voice, “What did she say about them?”

“Oh, nothing too bad...” I began, in a sarcastically casual tone, before building up steam as I went. “She only implied that they were terrible parents for allowing me near their foals! It’s a load of bull-dung! The Cakes are wonderful parents! They’re bringing up two fine, happy foals, and they’ve been surrogate parents to Pinkie! If they’re bad parents, then I’m an Oompa Loompa! On top of that, that cider incident happened after I left Sugarcube Corner to move into my own house. You can ask Pinkie and Twilight Sparkle about that once they come back. They’ll tell you. During my entire time with the Cakes, I never laid one offending finger on their babies, and I certainly did not indulge in other alcoholic beverages.”

“It’s true!” said Berry. “I’d know! The town’s wine goes through me, and he never stopped into my shop to buy any. All he did was get rid of my empty bottles, which I’m still grateful about, by the way.”

I looked at her, and she gave me a smile, which I returned. Headliner looked flabbergasted.

“The Cakes; the most reputed bakers in Ponyville...She said that about them?”

“She even went so far as to get an ‘anonymous quote’ from a ‘concerned mother’,” I said.

“Goodness,” said Headliner, stunned.

“You want a concerned mother?” asked Derpy, suddenly. “Try me! Dave is one of my dear friends, and I cannot believe that Dolly Tribune would imply that he was a danger around my little muffins. Dinky and Scootaloo are on close terms with him. He’s a Cutie Mark Crusader!”

Headliner looked confused.

“A what?” he asked.

“It’ll take too long to explain,” I said. “The point is, Dolly’s making me out to be a danger to Ponyville’s children.”

“And she never even thought it worth it to write about something that happened to him during his first week!” said Sparkler, angrily.

“And that was?” asked Headliner, actually looking interested.

Before anyone else could speak, however, Derpy cut in, her voice quivering with emotion.

“Before Scootaloo became my daughter, she was being bullied about being an orphan...She went into the Everfree Forest by herself, but couldn’t get back out. Dave went into the forest with Fluttershy to save her, without even thinking about his own safety. All he cared about was getting her out again. They rescued her, and...and...”

She paused. Tears were glistening in her bright eyes. Sparkler came over and put a foreleg around her shoulders.

“And?” asked Headliner, leaning closer.

“Dave saw to it that Scootaloo was placed under my care,” she finished, thickly. “She’s only been my daughter for a few weeks, but I’ve known her even before then, when we’d meet to deliver the mail and newspapers. I always thought of her as family, and now she is, thanks to Dave...” She wiped her eyes with her hoof. “And I am not going to stand by and let that horrible mare neglect to inform the town about the truth! I’m not going to let Dave become a subject of public shame and ridicule because of her! None of us will!”

“No!” clamored Berry, Sparkler, Bon Bon, and Lyra together.

Headliner was looking aghast. His jaw was hanging open, his eyes wide and staring.

“You see, sir,” I said, levelly, “though you didn’t write that article, you still allowed it to pass. Its distribution falls upon your shoulders as much as hers. I have nothing against you, but the damage is done.”

Headliner blanched. His eyes flitted swiftly to a framed photograph on his wall of a bearded, stern-faced white stallion with a close-cropped mane. Was that his superior (did editors-in-chief have superiors?), or was it his father? He seemed to be fighting some internal struggle within himself. He closed his eyes and sighed.

“Mr. Dave,” he said, finally, looking at me, “I hope you will allow me to sincerely apologize for this gross mismanagement of information. If I had known that Dolly wasn’t telling the whole truth, neglecting to tell me about you rescuing that little filly, and what she said about the Cakes...” His face became set and stern. “It’s time I did something about this for a change.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“I inherited this post from my father, Bulletin. Dolly was working here even during his time, and when he left, he put me in charge. He said he had complete confidence in me, and knew I would keep to the truth.” 

His face fell. 

“Unfortunately, I haven’t been able to hold to that promise, it seems. Dolly knew she could push me around, and that if she said she got all the facts, I would approve. After all, how was I to know where she got her information? I merely thought she was being thorough. But this...” 

His face became stern again. 

“This is a crime against the truth, and the Express has always strived to keep to nothing but it. Mr. Dave, ladies, you have my assurance that I will be speaking to her about this. This will not pass!”

I looked at the others, who were looking cheerful at this news. I felt the last reserves of my rage ebbing away at the same time.

“Thank you, Headliner,” I said. “I’m sorry I had to storm at you like that.”

“I’m glad you did,” said Headliner, frankly. “It’s about time someone told me I needed to stop standing out of the way. With luck, we may be able to get the facts this time, if you’re willing.”

“I’ll have to think about that,” I said. “I’m not too keen about it right now.”

“Understandable,” said Headliner. “Now, I don’t want to be a bother, but I would appreciate it if you could all see yourselves out. I have a lot of work to do yet.”

“Of course, sir. Thank you for your time. Come on, everypony.”

And we left Headliner’s office, closing the door behind us.


***


“You were amazing, Dave!” squealed Lyra, as we trekked down the hallway. “You were so confident, so forceful!”

“Aw, shucks, Lyra,” I said, somewhat embarrassed. “I just let my anger do the talking. It’s not often I get so steamed.”

“Lucky, too,” said Sparkler. “You were looking pretty murderous.”

The girls all giggled, and even I laughed. Then, I said,

“Listen, gals, I really want to thank you for sticking up for me. I feel really lucky to know that you’re all on my side.”

“Of course we’re on your side,” said Bon Bon. “You’re a sweet, considerate friend, and we’d never let anypony make up such lies about you.”

“No way!” said Berry.

“And you, Derpy,” I said, turning my attention to the pegasus. “You were incredible with that speech of yours.”

“I meant every word of it,” she said, warmly. “You’ve done nothing but help me ever since we’ve met, and I wasn’t about to let anypony mess that up.”

I beamed down at her, and she smiled back up at me, warmth and kindness in those askew eyes of hers.

“Aww, come here, you,” I said, kneeling down, and she threw her hooves around me in a warm hug, which I reciprocated gladly.

We sprang apart, however, at the sound of an all-too familiar voice.

“Well! Mr. Dave! Fancy seeing you here!”

Standing at the entrance to the corridor was none other than Dolly Tribune herself, Papa Razzo tagging at her heels. I glanced at the others; their faces had become as icy as polar bear snot.

“I’m just heading in for a talk with Headliner, my boss,” she said, sweetly, “but I would like to know if you wouldn’t mind a quick word. Perhaps your pony friends can provide testimonial pieces.”

The nerve of her! She still had the audacity to try and suck more lies out of me?! Well, she’d hopefully be getting her comeuppance soon.

I straightened up, looked her straight in the eye, and said, sternly,

“Why, yes, Dolly, you can have a word. Two, even. GOOD DAY!”

And I strode past her without a second look, the others hurrying behind me, back towards the front doors, where the crowd outside was waiting to hear about what had gone down.

> Reparations Made
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

It felt like at least an hour before we were finally able to break away from the crowd of ponies. Even by then, all of them were still either congratulating me on how I had conducted myself, or were grimly predicting that I had set myself up for another disaster. Lyra, Bon Bon, Sparkler, and Berry had all given me big hugs in turn, Big Macintosh had even given me a hearty clap on the shoulder that nearly dislocated it, and I was feeling really good about getting all of that rage out of my system. I didn’t like getting so angry like that, but I also felt sure that my venting had not gone to waste. With luck, Dolly would be seeing the error of what she had done. I didn’t want anything particularly cruel done to her, but just for her to finally understand why you can’t just write up gossip about people.

Either way, Derpy and I managed to break away and made for home once again. The ponies began to return to their workplaces, still talking excitedly. Sparkler had to go back to the jewelry store where she worked, so it was just Derpy and me heading back toward the outskirts of Ponyville. She walked close by my side, still grinning from ear to ear, but when we came within reach of our homes, she let out a sudden gasp.

“What’s the matter?” I asked.

“I nearly forgot!” she said. “In all the hubbub about the article, I never checked to see if you had any mail! I hope I haven’t kept Comet Tail waiting too long. I’ll be right back!”

Without another word, she took off toward the north. Shrugging, I made my way back home and, closing the door behind me, settled down to make something for breakfast. I’d completely forgotten about it in the excitement of the morning.

After a good meal of peanut butter bread with an orange on the side, I gratefully lay down on my bed, relieved to rest my still-aching back. I’d send Ironmane’s assignment later.

I felt like I had barely closed my eyes before there came a sharp rap at the door, although, by checking my watch, I saw that an hour had gone by. I didn’t think Derpy could have come back so quickly. On the other hand, it could be Ironmane. That guy had an unpleasant habit of popping up when you didn’t want him to. Half-dreading who I’d find at the door, I went and opened it. 

It wasn’t Derpy, however, nor was it Ironmane.

It was Dolly.

I was caught off-guard for the moment, not sure whether to feel surprised or angry or both, but it took me a bit to notice that something had changed. For one thing, she wasn’t alone. Papa Razzo was with her, as usual, but so was Headliner. On top of that, she had a very glum expression on her face, an alteration that really surprised me, as I had usually seen her with a sunny smile, always with that single gold tooth among the pearly whites. 

“Ah, good!” said Headliner. “I was hoping to find you here.”

“Can I help you?” I asked, warily.

“Yes, actually. Dolly has something she’d like to say,” said Headliner, and he shot her a pointed look. “Well, Dolly?”

Dolly glanced at him with something like resentment, as if she were a child being forced to apologize to a kid she had pushed into a mud puddle. She sighed, looked me in the eyes, and said, quietly,

“I’m sorry.”

…

Was she serious?

“You’re sorry?” I asked, softly, and then, in an angry, incredulous tone, “You’re sorry?! Miss Tribune, sorry does not even begin to make up for what you did to me! You lied about me! You made me out to be a threat to Ponyville, when I said nothing of the sort during our interview! How do you expect me to just accept sorry for what you did?!”

Dolly cringed and looked at the ground. I put a hand to the door.

“I have nothing more to say to you, Miss Tribune, or your fellow staff members, so if you could please leave-”

“Mr. Dave,” said Headliner, in a reasonable yet hurried tone, “I know you’re angry, but if you would just let us come in, we can explain. Well, I should say, Dolly can explain.”

I glanced from him to Dolly, the heat that had burned through my veins when I’d read her article returning. I glared down at her. She looked like she meant what she said, even if  ‘sorry’ was poor mending for a scandalous news article. Plus, it was Headliner who was asking, and I knew he was trying to make up for what happened. The two facts bumped against each other in my head.

“Well...I don’t...maybe...” I stammered, then sighed. “All right, I guess so. Just don’t mind if the house is a little messy. I wasn’t expecting company.”

The threesome stepped inside, looking about at my home.

“Charming little place you have here,” said Dolly, in what sounded like a brave attempt to break the ice.

“Thanks,” I said, simply. “Pull up a chair. I’ll make us some hot chocolate, if you’d like.”

“That’d be great,” said Headliner, settling down into a chair, as Dolly and Razzo did the same.

I set the water-filled kettle on the stove, then sat down to face them.

“So,” I said, “what exactly did you want to discuss?”

Headliner looked at Dolly, who said nothing. He cleared his throat, and Dolly once more shot him a glare as if she were being scolded. However, she relented and turned to me, saying,

“You have every right to be furious with me. I know what I did was wrong, but until you spoke to Headliner and he told me off, I didn’t know.”

I raised a nonplussed eyebrow. (Likely story.) 

Dolly swallowed. She looked like what she was about to say was paining her.

“When I started out under Bulletin, Headliner’s father, I was little more than a nobody. I knew that writing news was what I was meant to do-” She twisted around to look at the newspaper on her flank, “-but somehow, I just couldn’t enjoy myself when I wrote bland, serious pieces. They were so boring, so uneventful. Who wants to read about some ‘town’s oldest tree’ or Mayor Mare’s latest speech on productivity? I suppose I was a little spoiled from being able to write about some of the more exciting things to happen in Ponyville, like an infestation of parasprites, or the rampage of Cerberus. I wondered why all of my stories couldn’t be that exciting.”

“So you started spicing them up, even if they weren’t exactly true?”

“Well, no, not quite as bad as that,” said Dolly. “I got my break when Bulletin asked me to do an in-depth report on Princess Celestia herself. I was so honored!”

“And how did it go?” I asked, interested in spite of myself.

“Much better than I could have hoped,” she said, brightening up a bit. “Her Highness was so gracious, so open, so genial, that I sort of loosened up. When I came back, I spiced up my piece with some little quips about her. I suppose it was reckless of me, and even Bulletin himself said he wasn’t going to be sorry if Celestia banished me for being so free in my words, but, to our amazement, she loved what I wrote about her!”

“Er, what did you write about her?” I asked.

“Oh, just little jokes here and there, especially one about her love of cake. She thought it was hilarious.”

I couldn’t help it; I snorted with laughter. Dolly actually smiled a bit, and Headliner looked pleased.

“And she let it pass?” I asked.

“I couldn’t believe she did, either. From then on, even after Bulletin retired and Headliner took his place, I thought I’d add a little variation to my pieces, make them juicy, make them interesting.” 

Her smile suddenly faded, and her ears drooped. 

“I thought, at the time, I was just being satirical, portraying the truth while also inviting a few laughs. Now that I think about it, however, I was only just deluding myself. I hadn’t realized how far I was taking it, how embarrassed and angry I was making the public. I wanted to believe they truly did like what I wrote. When it came to you, then, I suppose I went...a little overboard.”

“You think?” I asked, dryly.

“It was just so exciting to write about a creature never before seen in Ponyville before, that I wanted to go all out, make it my masterpiece. Only...only I never stopped to think about how you might take some of the things I said.”

“Was that concerned mother thing real, or did you make that up?” I asked, pointedly.

“I did go around to try and find ponies willing to add testimony,” said Dolly, “and one did express concern about a stranger like you being around foals, but not with such animosity as I put it to be.”

I frowned. She wasn’t exactly winning herself back onto my good side by saying that.

“Believe me, Dave,” said Dolly, looking up at me with a contrite expression, “I treated you so shabbily, and you never deserved it. From what I did hear about you, you’re kind, considerate, and all I did was turn you into a mockery and an object of scandal. Nopony even seemed convinced by what I had said, so I didn’t think they would take it so seriously. Now I realize it was a mistake to even think that. I know it was a horrible thing to have done, but if there’s anything, anything I can do to make it up to you, just name it, and I’ll do it if I can.”

I regarded her for a long while. She looked and sounded absolutely sincere...or was this just another ploy of hers, trying to get me in a good mood to make me spill more beans? Was she even now just trying to milk more out of me?

I mentally shook my head. No, I couldn’t think like that. Not everything deserved the paranoia approach. She was asking to repair the damage, so why shouldn’t I let her?

I cleared my throat.

“Dolly, I can’t say I’m willing to forgive you just yet for what you did...”

She looked downwards, glumly.

“But,” I went on, and she raised her eyes again, “if you really want to make amends for the article, I won’t deny you the chance to do so.”

That gleaming smile returned to her face, radiating hopeful joy. Headliner beamed gratefully. I reached out a hand, and Dolly shook it energetically.

“Thank you,” she said. “Just name it. No, wait, I know! I’ll print the truth this time. What do you say to another interview, and I’ll keep to the facts this time?” 

“I’d like that,” I said.

“Lovely! And Razzo?”

Razzo looked at her attentively.

“Make sure you get his good side.”

Razzo nodded and saluted.

At that moment, the kettle began to sing, so I went to pour the hot chocolate. As I did, my eyes fell on my box of chocolates from Bon Bon, and at first, I wondered if I should offer some, but then, another idea came to me.

“Hey, Headliner?”

“Yes?”

“If I’m going to do this interview, I only have one condition.”

“Of course! Name it.”

“What’s the Express’s policy on advertising?...”


***


Actually, I have to admit, our meeting didn’t go half-bad. Dolly and I talked for a long while, probably an hour or more, reiterating what we had discussed before for my first interview, while adding some new stuff she wanted to know about. She seemed to be returning to her cheery self, though I wondered if she was still feeling pressured by her boss’s presence. She sure didn’t let it show, as she kept up a running conversation, her quill whizzing across the page all the while, and even had me laughing. She actually seemed really nice, and it felt like such a shame that she had made such a bad reputation for herself.

Razzo never said a word, but just sat by and listened as we conversed, nodding his approval whenever Dolly asked for his opinion. He would whisper inaudibly in her ear whenever he wanted to get something across, and I never caught a syllable of what he said. Maybe he was just not in the habit of speaking out loud.

Finally, Dolly put down her quill.

“Well, Dave, I think that will do it. You gave us much to go on. This should be in print by tomorrow!”

“Great!” I said.

“And I will be keeping an eye on her to make sure she keeps to the material,” said Headliner, in a lightly stern voice. Dolly grinned weakly.

“Why, Headliner, you know you can count on me.”

Headliner raised an eyebrow, but said nothing.

“And you’ll put in that ad I requested?” I asked.

“Of course! I’m sure your friend will be most pleased with it.”

Razzo tapped on her foreleg to get her attention and held up his camera.

“Oh! I almost forgot! Do you mind, Dave?”

“No, not at all.”

“Nice big smile now.”

I flashed a grin, and Razzo’s camera flashed at the same time.

“Perfect!” said Dolly. “Thank you very much for your time, Dave, and again, I hope we might be able to put this whole nasty business behind us.”

“It’ll take some time for that,” I said, somewhat coldly, but then added, in a lighter tone, “but I’m glad you want to make up for it. I really do appreciate it.”

She smiled, and Headliner nodded his approval.

“Well, crew, let’s be on our way, then,” he said. “If we want to get this story out by tomorrow, we need to get started. Take care, Mr. Dave.”

“Take care.”

The three newsponies got to their hooves and departed out the door. I saw them out, then closed it behind them, breathing a sigh of relief as I did so. With luck, Dolly would keep her word. Surely she wouldn’t go back on it after being so sincere in her apology, would she?

I was just turning away from the door when there came another knock at it. Opening it, I found Derpy, a letter clutched in her mouth.

“Ah! There you are, Derpy. Hopefully you weren’t keeping your friend waiting.”

I took the letter from her mouth so she could speak.

“Just arrived when I got there, actually.”

“Oh, good. Well, whatever they’ve got to say, I’d better send them a reply quick, in case that article arrived.”

“Oooh, yeah...” said Derpy, grimly. She then added, sharply, “Speaking of, did I just see those newsponies leaving the neighborhood? What did they want?”

“Now, relax, Derpy,” I said, placatingly. “They just came over to talk and see if we couldn’t patch up this mess they put me into.”

“And you just let them come in? After what they did to you?!”

“I wasn’t going to at first, but it just didn’t feel right to me, denying them the chance to make amends when they were offering to.”

Derpy sighed and shook her head, but she there was a small smile on her face.

“Has anyone ever said you’re too nice for your own good?” she asked.

“Well...maybe,” I muttered.

“I’m only teasing,” she said. “I’m sure things worked out fine between you. I can only hope that mare won’t pull any more funny stuff this time...”

“You and me both.”

The two of us sat at the kitchen table, and I flipped the letter open.

“Dear Davie,
Still hope everything’s going good for you back in Ponyville. We’re totally bringing back some of Grammy’s cooking when we come home, cuz you would love-love-LOVE it! I can’t believe I forgot what an awesome cook she was! I can’t remember the last time my tummy was this happy. She even got Fluttershy to take second-helpings, and she hardly eats very much.
Speaking of Grammy, she broke out the family photo album, and we got to show the girls pictures of me when I was just an itty-bitty twinkie-Pinkie! Oh, the memories: my first piece of cake, my first time ice skating, my first cupcake, the day I first discovered my Pinkie Sense, my first pie...Whoops! I’d better stop thinking about food, or I’m gonna drool all over the letter.
I wonder if Gummy would like the farm. Maybe I should have brought him with. Do you think you could check up on him, Davie? The Cakes are watching him, but I’m sure he really misses you. I bet he’d love a visit from you!
Speaking of, Spike got really worried when he heard Peewee was acting funny, but Twilight told him she’d ask Princess Celestia about it, since she has Philomena for a pet. That calmed him down, I think, but I hope nothing’s wrong with the little cutie-patootie back home.
Talk to you again soon!
Pinkie”

I looked up at Derpy with a smile on my face.

“Shame I can’t be up there with them,” I said. “I’d have loved to see pictures of Pinkie when she was an ‘itty-bitty twinkie-Pinkie’. I’ll bet she was adorable.”

Derpy giggled.

“That’s so cute,” she said.

“Well, I’ll get right on the reply, then. You don’t mind waiting a bit, do you?”

“Not at all!”

I grabbed a fresh sheet of paper, my ink and quill, and wrote out:

“Dear girls,
Glad to hear you’re still having a great time up there. Everything’s pretty good down here.
I want to warn you, however, that this letter may arrive after you get the paper with a certain piece of news in it. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT freak out. I and a few good friends have already taken the steps to taking care of that problem. Again, don’t worry. We’ve handled it.
Ironmane already has me working on assignments as part of my role in the Round Table. Twilight, if you have any tips on mass-paperwork, I’d love to hear them.
Hope to hear from you soon!
Dave.
PS: Princess Celestia has a pet phoenix? Why am I not surprised?”

I sealed up the letter, addressed the envelope, and handed it to Derpy.

“I really hope this isn’t too much of a bother for you,” I said.

“Not at all!” said Derpy. “With all you’ve been doing for the family, it’s the least I can do for you.”

“Well, thanks. If Scootaloo does see that paper, by chance-”

“Don’t worry, I’ll explain it to her. I doubt she’d believe a word of it anyway. See ya!”

With a sweep of her wings, Derpy flew out the door and back toward the horizon. I shut the door behind her and, feeling like it was just about lunchtime, set about making something quick and easy.


***


I was up a little earlier the next day, and I was eager to see if the article had really made it to today’s paper. In fact, I got up in time to actually see Scootaloo zip by on her scooter, tossing a newspaper onto my doorstep. Leaning out the window, I yelled,

“Morning, Scoot!”

and she pulled to a quick stop. Turning back, she waved energetically at me, then sped off once more. I retrieved the paper and, laying back down on my bed, flipped it open.

There, to my relief, was a much better photograph of me, actually smiling instead of looking awkward, and the article accompanying it read as follows:



“The Ponyvillian Human: The True Story”
by Dolly Tribune


The Ponyville Express has always strived to be a didactic newspaper: informative and interesting. Unfortunately, there come times when the interesting outweighs the informative, leading to misinformation. This is such a time. Due to a grievous oversight, the Express would like to extend a most sincere apology to human Dave. The story printed in yesterday’s issue contained many errors that it is prudent to rectify for his and our readers’ sakes. Star reporter Dolly Tribune once more sat down with Ponyville’s new mysterious inhabitant for a second try at the truth.

‘While Dave has indeed arrived in Equestria via mysterious means, there is no evidence to support the fact that he is a creature from outer space. He still insists that the world he comes from is known as Earth, but even he admits that the thought of two separate worlds known by the same name is rather odd. What does remain a fact, however, is that he still has no recollection of what he was doing or what the means might have been that brought him to our land in the first place. Perhaps even Star Swirl the Bearded, brainy but eccentric, could not answer such a conundrum if he were here today.

‘Though he does miss his family greatly, and does think of them often, he has garnered some solace in the form of the good friends he has managed to make. He has, in fact, had the good fortune to befriend Pinkie Pie, party pony and assistant at Sugarcube Corner, which has led to his becoming acquainted with her other close friends. He has built friendships with many others, but he admitted to Pinkie Pie being his best friend, as it was she that first found him alone and confused outside Ponyville. “I feel awkward picking favorites,” he said, “but I stand by what I say: Pinkie is my best pony friend. She guided me when I was lost. She fed me when I was hungry. She provided a roof over my head when I was homeless. I’d never have survived if it hadn’t been for her.”

‘Speaking of the roof put over his head, we also wish to retract what was said concerning the Cakes of Sugarcube Corner. Their infant twins, Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake, were in no danger during Dave’s stay with them, and we sincerely apologize for portraying the good bakers in such a light; it was not what had been intended. Dave is not, nor has he ever been, a threat to Ponyville’s youth, and his exuberance under the influence of cider was greatly exaggerated. While fact-checking, we also discovered that Dave had rescued a young filly from the Everfree Forest: The filly is now one of his biggest supporters in Ponyville.

‘What is more, Dave has been granted the good fortune of securing employment in Equestria during his stay. After a meeting with Princess Celestia herself, he has secured a post within her royal staff, as part of her ambassadorial council. “I’m on call,” said Dave, “so it doesn’t pay a whole lot, but I’m not complaining yet. I’ve received one assignment so far, and am to expect more in the future, but it’s all part of the job. Hopefully I can provide a human’s insight into Equestrian foreign relations.” That should prove interesting to see. Let us keep our hooves crossed that he may lend such insight when the time is right.

‘Readers of the last piece may also recall that Dave stated that if he had an opportunity to return home, he certainly would. This time around, he had this to add: “If I could find a way to bring myself back to Equestria, and keep it so that I might return when I wish, I would gladly accept it. As much as I miss my home, Equestria has been wonderful to me, and I couldn’t just leave it willy-nilly.” Whether or not such magic exists, it is wonderful to know that our world has not lost its charm on our dear guest.

‘This may be only the tip of the iceberg when it came to our human friend, but we may hope to see more from him in the future. Once more, we wish to extend our most sincerest apologies to the unjust way he was portrayed in the previous issue, and to promise that it will not happen again.’


A big smile was on my face as I finished reading. Dolly had done it. She had kept her word. Everything was going to be all right.

As I glanced downward, I saw, to my joy, a square of text spelling out the advertisement I had requested of Headliner and Dolly:

“Looking for spooky sweets this Nightmare Night? Come down to Bon Bon’s Bonbons, Ponyville’s premier chocolatier, for a secret, special surprise this year!”

Hopefully Bon Bon would appreciate it. I didn’t know what she was planning, and didn’t hint to knowing it at all, so the secret would stay a secret. Feeling sure that the crisis of the article would heal a little better now, I set about to make myself some breakfast.


***


It was nearing lunchtime when there came a knock at the door. Still somewhat worried it might be Ironmane, I looked out the window first, but was relieved to see that it was Derpy, another letter in her mouth. I opened the door and let her in.

“Did you see the paper?” I asked, once she had come inside and given the letter to me.

“I did!” she said, happily. “You must have been so happy when you saw it.”

“I was, believe me,” I said. “I guess Dolly really did learn.”

“So there’s no hard feelings between the two of you?”

“Not so much anymore. If she stays a straight arrow, I can stay on civil terms with her.”

“You’re a very forgiving guy, Dave,” said Derpy, smiling.

“Er, is that a good thing?” I asked.

“Of course! It shows you’ve got a good heart.”

“Aw, well...” I mumbled, embarrassed.

I sat down and opened up the letter. As I expected, the new article had not reached them, and the writing was very frantic.

“Davie
I can’t believe it! How could that Dolly Tribune mare write that stuff about you?! You’re not an alien! You’re not a drunk! And how DARE she blame Mr. and Mrs. Cake for keeping you in Sugarcube Corner! You never laid a finger on Pound and Pumpkin Cake! And didn’t she ever find out about Scootaloo?! Ooooh, this makes me so mad! If you didn’t already, I’m gonna give her a piece of my mind and more when we get back! She won’t get away with this!
Just stay calm, ok? Don’t you believe a single word that mean-meany-pants says!
Pinkie.
PS: We’re planning to be back in Ponyville this Saturday."

I let out a low whistle. “I’ve never heard Pinkie so mad before,” I said. “I’m glad it was in writing form, because I don’t think I could stand to hear her rage in front of me.”

“It’s all right,” said Derpy, patting my hand. “They’ll get the real article soon, and it should make them feel better.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” I said. I could almost picture Pinkie writing furiously on a sheet of paper, teeth grinding, pupils shrunken to pinpoints. Either that, or she had had Twilight write it out word for word, taking in her exact rage. Those thoughts were both scary and funny.

Suddenly, there came another knock at the door, and a sense of foreboding came over me. 

Sure enough, when I got up and opened it, there stood Ironmane, stern and impassive. Derpy gave a squeak and hid herself behind me. She must not have liked the look of him.

“Hello, Minister,” I said, calmly. “Anything I can help you with?”

Ironmane’s mouth twitched. He looked as if he had swallowed a lemon. His eyes fell on Derpy, who was peeking out behind me.

“Oh! This is Derpy Hooves, the mail mare. You’ve met her before. She delivered my assignment from you.”

“Indeed,” said Ironmane, stiffly. “I do recall her.” He cleared his throat. “But, more importantly, hu-”

He seemed to catch himself, and it looked like he was straining to stop himself from saying the rest of the word.

“More importantly, David,” he said, with an effort, “I wanted to have a serious word with you.”

I stared at him in surprise. For the first time since I’d known him, he actually used my name. 

“If it’s about the newspaper article-” I began, but he held up a hoof to cut me off.

“It is, or I should say, it was. I caught sight of yesterday’s article back in Canterlot. It was quite a different piece of mail than what I was expecting to receive. I will not deceive you, David, I was prepared to be quite angry with you. I had thought that my warning had gone unheeded, and that you had gone too far into making a public spectacle of yourself. I thanked Celestia that nothing about your position in the court was mentioned, but all the same, it was a horrid piece of scandalous news.”

“Don’t I know it?” I muttered.

“When I arrived in Ponyville, however, today’s article was in circulation. I was rather startled to see such a change in Miss Tribune’s writing, and upon making a few inquiries, I learned that you and Miss, er, Hooves, was it?” he asked, looking at Derpy.

Derpy nodded.

“That you and Miss Hooves staged a mob to give Miss Tribune a piece of your minds, and that it was a success. I have to admit that I did not think you possible of such decisive action, David.”

“I don’t think I’d like to know what you did think me possible of, Minister,” I said, coldly. “I may be new to Equestrian society, but I’m not completely useless. I can take care of myself.”

“Clearly,” said Ironmane, stiffly. “I must, therefore, concede that I was, perhaps, a bit mistaken about you. I am not saying I completely trust you just yet, but you have at least shown me you can deal with a crisis. I...congratulate you, then.”

“Well, thank you, Minister,” I said, “but I owe it partly to my friends. I can’t take all the credit.”

“Modest as ever,” grunted Ironmane. He cleared his throat again. “Well, if there is nothing else, I believe I shall take my leave now.”

“Wait!” I said, upon a sudden thought. I hurried over to the kitchen table and picked up my worksheet, handing it to him. “I finished it, sir, and thought I might hand it in to you personally now.”

Ironmane received it in his telekinesis and roved his eyes over it.

“Hmm...mm-hmm...mmm...Decent,” he said, shortly. “In future, however, I would prefer a bit more detail. Still, not a bad start.”

Was this Opposite Day or something? Ironmane was actually complimenting me? What had happened to the world?

“Well, then,” he said, tucking the paper away inside his cloak, “until Monday, David.”

And he turned sharply around and strode off toward Ponyville.

“...Well,” I said, after a while, “I certainly wasn’t expecting that.”

“I don’t like him,” Derpy muttered. “He reminded me of a mean teacher I once had...”

“Well, hopefully, you won’t have to see him as much,” I said, consolingly. “He’s only supposed to come here every Monday to give me my stipend.”

“Oh, good,” said Derpy, relieved.

“To be honest, he kinda creeps me out, too.”

Derpy laughed. Then, she asked, “Say, Dave, if you’ve got nothing else busying you today, do you want to join me and the girls for lunch?”

“Sure! That’d be great!” I said. As she led the way, I added, “We can get a reply for the girls ready, too, though I don’t think much more needs to be said than I’ll be ready for them Saturday. I’ll bet they’re gonna send a letter soon in response to the new article.”

Derpy giggled. “That’ll be funny to read, I bet. ‘Forget about what I said in the letter before! I didn’t know!’”

“Oh, I’ve had that happen before,” I said, earning a laugh from the motherly mare. We headed into the house, where, sure enough, the three Hooves’ daughters were waiting at the table.

“Hi, Dave!” called Dinky and Scootaloo together.

“Hey, kids,” I said, and I took a seat right between Scootaloo and Sparkler. “I figured you’d be in school today.”

“It was a half-day,” said Scootaloo. “Miss Cheerilee came down with a cold, so she dismissed us early with our homework for the day.”

“Aww, that’s a shame,” I said. “Well, I hope she’s better soon.”

“So do I,” said Dinky. “Miss Cheerilee’s the best teacher ever!”

“And the ponies who substitute when she’s out are so boring!” groaned Scootaloo.

“Well, I still hope you pay attention and get your work done,” said Derpy, in a slightly stern tone, while she was stirring something in a pot on the stovetop.

“Yes, Mom,” said Scootaloo, wearily.

Taking advantage of the moment, I leaned over to Sparkler and whispered,

“The kids never saw the bad article, did they?”

“I don’t think so. They don’t normally read the paper anyway. They hear about big events when Mom or I read it.”

“Good. I’d hate to imagine how devastated they would have been.”

“Tell me about it...”

“What are you whispering about?” Dinky suddenly asked, making us jump.

“Oh!” said Sparkler. “Er, Dave was just asking me about...about...”

“About what she thinks I should go as for Nightmare Night!” I supplied. “Because, you know, it’s my first one, so I want to pull off a good one.”

I glanced at Sparkler, who smiled and winked.

“Ohh,” said Dinky, comprehending. Scootaloo suddenly giggled.

“And what’s so funny?” I asked.

“I just thought,” she snickered, “that it’d be really funny if you went as a pony for Nightmare Night!”

Now Dinky began giggling, and even Sparkler and Derpy laughed. I didn’t see the humor like they did, however. How goofy would I be, going around in a big horse/pony costume? I’d probably look like one of those kiddy mascots that the bratty boys would kick and beat up.

“Now there’s a thought,” I said, shelving that unpleasant idea away.

“I’d talk to Rarity about it,” said Derpy, as she began ladling out big bowlfuls of macaroni and cheese (one of my absolute favorites!). “She’s always the one to go to for outfit ideas.”

“That makes sense,” I said, “though only for a suggestion. I don’t want her to have to keep going to so much trouble just for me.”

“Of course, Dave, of course,” said Derpy, as she sat down to join us.

All in all, it was a pleasant meal, spent with pleasant company. Scootaloo kept dropping hints about what the next crusade was going to be, saying that she hoped that I ‘had my sea-legs’ or that I ‘didn’t mind getting a little wet’. I didn’t want to ruin the fun for her, so I just played along with the mystery of the secret. I suppose I can say that, though I considered Pinkie my best friend, the Hooves were a closest thing to a family I had experienced ever since arriving in Ponyville. They were wonderful ponies, and I felt lucky in having them as neighbors.
> It Was a Dark and Stormy Day...
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day dawned dully, the sun not quite as strong as usual. When I woke up and looked out the window, I saw why: pegasi were moving clouds all across the sky, packing them together as if they were the pieces to a jigsaw puzzle. It looked like they were preparing for a wet and rainy day. I suppose it was just as well; the last time I remembered it really raining was the night I went to look for Scootaloo in the Everfree Forest, and that was almost two, three weeks ago.

As I watched the pegasi moving the clouds and talking with each other, probably discussing proper cloud positions (some were lighter or darker gray), there came a knock at the door. Opening it, I found it to be Derpy, a letter clutched in her mouth, her mailbag slung against her side.

“Hi, Derpy. Storm planned for today?”

“Yep,” she said, when I had taken the letter. “We’ve been dry for a little while, so we gotta make up for that. Should be ready in a couple hours. Rain clouds take precise positioning.”

“Do they?” I asked, opening the envelope. 

“Uh-huh. You can’t put a thunderhead where a rain cloud should go, for example.”

“I see,” I said, though I don’t think I really did. The letter was a little shorter than usual, and went thus:

“Dear Davie,
Sorry about freaking out. We didn’t get the recent article until after we had sent the letter. It was nice of Miss Tribune to redo it, and did you really mean what you said about me being your best pony friend? You’re so sweet...
This’ll be the last letter we’ll be able to send. By the time you get it, we might already be on our way back. I felt bad having to leave my folks again, but now I feel brave enough to visit them whenever I want, and you’ll get to come with me when I do! Won’t that be fun?
See you soon!
Pinkie”

“Well, here’s some good news for you, Derpy,” I told her. “The girls are probably on their way back, so a reply won’t be necessary. You won’t have to get caught in the rain sending another letter.”

“Well, that’s good,” said Derpy, “but I wouldn’t have minded either way. Still, it’s great to hear that the girls are on their way home. You must have really missed them.”

“I have, but I’m not gonna say it’s been lonely. I’ve had you, Lyra, Bon Bon, heck, the rest of the town to keep me company.”

“Aww, thanks,” said Derpy, giving me a slight nudge. “I wish I could stay and chat, but I’ve still got some mail to deliver. What were your plans for today?”

“I was gonna check on Gummy like Pinkie asked,” I said. “If what she says is true, the little guy must be ‘really super-duper worried’ about her being gone. Or, at least, that’s probably what she’d say.”

Derpy giggled.

“He’s a funny little gator, isn’t he?”

“Yeah. He’s kinda cute once you get used to him. I might also stop by the library and check out a couple more Daring Do books. Twilight and Rainbow got me hooked on them.” 

“Ooh, I love those books!” said Derpy. “So full of action and suspense!”

“Tell me about it. How about you, Derpy? Any plans before the rain hits?”

“Oh, er, yes!” said Derpy, suddenly sounding a little caught off her guard. “I was just going to meet up with a friend before the rain kicked in.”

“Oh? Anypony I know?”

“I don’t think so. He’s not much of an outdoors pony. Keeps to himself.”

“Heh, sounds kinda like me. Well, I won’t delay you from that. See you, Derpy!”

“Bye!”

Derpy took off, flying with unusual balance despite the heavy mailbag. Once she was out of sight, I headed off myself, toward Sugarcube Corner.


***


I entered the bakery to find Mr. Cake at the counter. From inside the kitchen, I could hear the sound of Pound and Pumpkin giggling and Mrs. Cake talking the kind of nonsense words all mothers must know to use when speaking to babies.

“Hello, Dave!” said Mr. Cake. “Anything I can get you?”

“Hi, Mr. Cake. Now that I think about it, a chocolate chip muffin sounds really good right now.”

I put three bits on the counter, which Mr. Cake swapped for the muffin.

“Thanks,” I said, taking a bite. “How are things around here?”

“Not too bad. It’s not quite the same without Pinkie Pie, though. We’re used to having her on hoof to help with the counter.”

“Oh. Well, if you want, I could-”

“No, no, I couldn’t ask that of you, Dave. We’ve been doing ok. Thanks for the offer, though.”

“I actually came to check up on Gummy, per Pinkie’s request,” I said, after taking another bite of the muffin. “How’s he been?”

“Hard to tell,” said Mr. Cake. “I don’t know how Pinkie does it, but she seems to know exactly what the little fella wants. Me? I can’t tell the difference between what a blink means and a tail twitch means.”

At that moment, I felt something latch onto my leg that nearly made me drop my muffin. Looking down, I saw Gummy gazing up at me with those bright purple eyes.

“Hey there, little guy!” I said, stuffing the rest of the muffin into my mouth, then picking him up. I swallowed before continuing, “When did you get down here?”

“Gummy!” said Mr. Cake, in a scolding tone. “How many times do I have to tell you? The bakery is off limits!”

Gummy snapped at his nose, making him recoil. He seemed to have momentarily forgotten that he didn’t have teeth.

“You worried about Pinkie, boy?” I asked Gummy.

He blinked unevenly.

“Well, don’t you worry. She’s gonna be back tomorrow. How’s that sound?”

His tail twitched. I chuckled and scratched him gently behind his eyes.

“The twins have been rather fussy without Pinkie, too,” said Mr. Cake. “They’ve known each other ever since they were born, and she’s always been their playmate and babysitter. Cup is keeping them happy, though.”

At that moment, there came the wet sound of a raspberry, and a squeal of laughter from Pumpkin. That brought a smile to my face, as well as Mr. Cake’s.

“I can tell. Well, thanks for the muffin, Mr. Cake. I should probably be off.”

“You’re welcome, Dave. Try not to get caught in the storm. I hear it’s supposed to be a doozy.”

“I won’t, don’t worry.”

I set Gummy by the stairs and watched him scramble his way up back to his and Pinkie’s room. With that taken care of, I took my leave of the bakery, the sound of a fresh raspberry and another squeal of laughter following me as I exited.


***


The blue of the sky was progressively disappearing as I made my way toward the library. I could see several pegasus ponies whizzing about with clouds in their hooves. Three in particular were very active. One was a black stallion with a blue mohawk mane. The other two were purple mares with blue manes, though one was wearing a pink bow while the other had a wild, ‘rock star’ hairdo. I wondered if the two were related. A yellow mare with a teal mane was hovering by, supervising, gesturing this way and that, probably telling them which clouds went where. I’d have to talk to Rainbow Dash about how Equestrian clouds worked, because I had no idea it took so much management...

When I entered the library, I found Owlowiscious seated as always on his perch.

“Hey, Owlowisc-OW!”

Something small collided with the side of my head with the force of a thrown baseball. Peewee the phoenix was whizzing about, twittering like a parakeet. Owlowiscious was looking particularly disgruntled.

“Still restless?” I asked, over the noise.

Owlowiscious gave a nod of assent, accompanied by a weary eye-roll.

“Well, don’t worry. Twilight and Spike are going to be home tomorrow. They’ll sort out whatever’s wrong with him, I bet.”

Owlowiscious looked quite relieved to hear that, and even wiped his brow with his wing.

“I’m just gonna check out a couple of books. You’re my witness.”

“Hoo.”

I browsed the shelf with the Daring Do books, while Peewee continued soaring around the room, tweeting and peeping shrilly. Twice, he came close to knocking off my glasses. I had a strong impulse to snatch him out of the air and find the nearest birdcage to put him in, but I choked it down as I continued to browse the shelf. Finally, I found the line of Daring Do books and, indicating where The Griffon’s Goblet was, I picked out the next two books in line: Daring Do and the Cloudcrown Tower and Daring Do and the Seapony’s Tear. I bent down at the table and scrawled a note telling Twilight I had borrowed the two books, then turned to Owlowiscious.

“I know he must be testing your nerves, but try and stay calm, ok? It hopefully won’t be for too much longer. Take care, all right?”

“Hoo.”

I left the poor owl and his hyperactive charge on that note, and not a moment too soon. The sky was almost entirely covered in clouds, and the wind was already beginning to pick up. The storm was fast approaching.


***


I felt confident that I had made it back in good time, the books pristine and safe from weather damage. I was prepared to hunker down for the day and immerse myself in these new Daring Do books with the rain and wind as a backdrop outside.

However, something quite unexpected happened to change that.

As I neared the house, there came a loud, particularly close crash of thunder...punctuated by a scream.

I felt the blood in my veins freeze at such a sound. It sounded like a mare, screaming as though she were being attacked. Heart thudding, I looked about, but couldn’t see anypony.

“Derpy?” I called. “Was that you?...Derpy?”

I had never heard Derpy scream before, so I didn’t know if it was her or not, but who else could it be?

Another crash of thunder, another scream. It wasn’t coming from the direction of Derpy’s house, however. It was coming from the house of my mystery neighbor. They sounded like they were in utter terror.

Not even considering what might happen, I rushed over to the house and began knocking hurriedly on the door.

“Hello?” I called. “Are you all right in there?”

There was no answer, but I could hear someone panting, almost sobbing. It made me feel as if my heart was being constricted.

“Hello!” I called, louder. “Are you ok? What’s the matter?”

There was another loud crash of thunder, more like a cannon blast, and another scream. Suddenly, the door swung open, and before I knew what was happening, a pair of hooves grabbed me by the arm and pulled me inside.

Everything was dark, the light muted from the clouds, but I could just barely see the form of a pony standing on its hind legs, holding me by the arm. I couldn’t see her face, but she was panting, nearly sobbing, and was shivering.

There was another loud boom of thunder, and the pony yelped, gripping me tighter.

“Are you all right?” I asked, hesitantly. “Do you want me to get help? I can do that, if you want.”

I began to turn towards the door, but the pony suddenly lunged forward, throwing her hooves around me.

“No!” she gasped out, in a very hushed voice, as if she had lost the use of speaking with it. “No! Don’t go out there! Not out into...that! It’s horrible! Don’t leave!”

She sounded absolutely petrified, and I was getting pretty scared myself. Another peal of thunder rent the air, and she let out a whimper like a wounded puppy, wrapping her forelegs around me tighter. She was shivering as if she had been dunked into icy water.

What was I supposed to do? I couldn’t just leave her like this, and she made it clear that she didn’t want me to leave her. Something about the thunder was scaring her, and it would have been a cruel act to just abandon her when she was in so much terror. I put my arms about her, comfortingly.

Still keeping a tight hold around her, I took her with me further into the house. She was quite light, though she was probably the size of an average pony. Looking about, I spied a room off to the back and headed for it. As luck would have it, it was a bedroom, and, wasting no time, I set her down on the bed. I fumbled about for a lamp and, finally finding one, turned it up, the glow allowing me a good look at her. 

She was a thin pegasus, even skinnier, if possible, than Fluttershy. She looked older than a foal, yet younger than a mare Pinkie’s age. Her coat was moon-white, her mane and tail a soft, forget-me-not blue. Her cutie mark resembled a five-pointed star with a pair of wings.

I sat beside her, putting a comforting arm around her.

“Shh,” I whispered. “It’ll be ok. I’m here for you.”

The pony sniffled and hiccuped, but didn’t reply. She opened her eyes, tears still lingering in them, and I saw that they too were the same shade of blue.

“Are you all right now?” I asked.

She wiped at her snout and nodded slightly.

“I’m sorry,” she said, in that same hushed voice. “I didn’t want you to worry about me. I don’t know why it happens, but thunder scares me so badly...”

I patted her back gently. That must be a really horrible feeling, especially when it comes so frequently. At least storms like this were scheduled. Me? I hated freak thunderstorms out of nowhere.

“It’s ok. You’re safe now. And don’t worry about troubling me. I knew I was going to meet you eventually, but I didn’t think it would be like this.”

She smiled very slightly. Her blue eyes roved over me, and her expression became thoughtful, searching.

“Do I know you?” she asked.

“I don’t think so. We’ve never met face to face before.”

“Oh...all right. I just thought I’d ask. But you’re my neighbor, aren’t you?”

“I am.”

“And you’re the one who gave me the letter, aren’t you?”

“That’s right.”

“Thank you. I’ve never gotten a letter from anypony before, I think. It was really sweet of you to think of me.”

“You’re welcome, er...uh...Sorry, I don’t know your name.”

“Moonlight. Call me Moonlight.”

“And you can call me Dave.”

“Dave? That’s a nice name.”

“So’s Moonlight.”

“Thank you. I only moved here to Ponyville a few months ago, but I haven’t gone out much. I don’t like crowds too much, so I haven’t met anypony yet.”

Her eyes and ears both drooped, a gloomy look on her face.

“Well, you’ve met me,” I said.

She looked up at me.

“Sure,” I went on. “We’re neighbors, aren’t we? Besides, I can’t stand the thought of you being all alone. The next time you have a problem, you come to me, ok? You can even go to Derpy Hooves, the mail mare. She’s next door to me. Or Pinkie Pie at Sugarcube Corner. She’s one of the best friends a pony could ask for.”

She continued to stare at me, her eyes still wet with tears from the thunder scare. She didn’t say a word, but merely put her forelegs around me again, resting her head against my chest. I smiled and hugged her in return. She seemed like such a sweet, delicate little creature. If anyone needed a friend, it was her.

“Listen,” I said, “why don’t I stick around until the storm blows over? Do you like reading? I have a couple of Daring Do books to pass the time.”

She gave a slight gasp and looked up at me again.

“Daring Do?” she repeated, thoughtfully. “I think...yes! I love her books!”

“I’m just getting into them myself. I have #3 and #4 with me. Are you interested?”

“Mm-hmm!”

She finally broke out into a smile, one of the cutest, most heartwarming smiles I’d ever seen. It reminded me irresistibly of Fluttershy.

I picked up The Cloudcrown Tower, took off my shoes, and settled onto the bed, Moonlight settling cozily up beside me, and I opened up the book between the two of us.


***


It turned out to be a very pleasant time, despite the storm outside. The two of us lay atop the bed with the book between us, reading of Daring Do’s escapades. We progressed haltingly, however, as I had to stop every time thunder hit especially close, then I’d have to wait for Moonlight to come out from under the covers.

In the book, Daring was accompanied by a unicorn colt named Dowser, who had the strange ability to locate treasure by following his horn, like a divining rod. He had been rescued from the clutches of a group of greedy ponies who had wanted to use his talent for their own selfish desires, and now looked upon Daring as a kind of big sister. The eponymous Cloudcrown Tower was said to be the resting place of one of the biggest treasure caches in the world, left by the deceased tyrant King Bloodhorn. It was here that the band of crooked ponies were plotting to exploit Dowser’s ability, and where Daring’s path led her. Of course, Ahuizotl was once more on Daring’s tail, and it was a race to see who would make it to the tower and its treasure first...

Moonlight, like me, hung on every sentence, every word, as they all seemed to be imbued with a dramatic energy that kept our eyes glued to the pages. She’d giggle softly at Daring’s sarcastic wisecracks, eep slightly at something particularly hair-raising or dangerous, and frown whenever Ahuizotl or the leader of the evil group, a certain Baron Quartz, made an appearance. Whenever there was a very faint peal of thunder, she’d give a small whimper, but she seemed to remember that I was right there beside her, and she would nestle in closer against my side.

We had gone through the book completely in one sitting, reaching the surprising ending involving the entire tower crumbling to pieces from a particularly nasty booby trap, but Baron Quartz refused to leave its vast treasure behind, and, from the way it was worded, he seemed to have been buried alive in the rubble. Ahuizotl had vanished mysteriously as well, but Daring (and I) had a feeling that even losing the riches of the Cloudcrown Tower wasn’t going to keep him down for long. Sooner or later, he’d be back.

By the time we’d concluded, a ray of sunlight fell in through the window. Looking up, I saw that the clouds were being parted, and the sun was shining down on rain-soaked grass, a faint rainbow arcing the skies. Moonlight looked very much relieved.

“Looks like the worst of it’s over,” I said.

“Thank you,” she said, softly. “I’ve never had anypony sit with me through a storm and take my mind off of it. You’re very nice to keep me company.”

“You’re very welcome,” I said. “Remember, if you ever need anything, you can always come to me. Ok?”

She nodded, then leaned up and gave me a gentle nuzzle.

“I’ll see you again, then, Dave.”

“You bet, Moonlight,” I said, giving her a pat on the back.

We both got up, and she saw me out the door and back toward my own house. At the door, I turned to look at her. She smiled and waved, and I reciprocated the gesture. Then, she disappeared inside her own house, while I headed inside mine.

Sitting down at the edge of my bed, I let out a sigh. It was a great feeling to have finally met my mysterious neighbor, and to have helped her through such a tough experience for her. I felt confident that I could perhaps help her open up a little more, maybe take her into town to meet other ponies. Even somepony as shy as Fluttershy had many friends.

For now, I needed to grab some lunch. These ponies always seemed to have a way of making me forget certain things, only to have them return with a vengeance shortly afterward. Chuckling at my own mental joke, I set about to getting some pasta ready, wondering how Pinkie and the girls would react when we met each other again tomorrow.
> Welcome Back!
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I didn’t know how early or how late the girls were going to get in, so I got up at the crack of dawn the next day, dressed, and headed to the train station. It was a cool, misty morning, the surroundings dull and gray. I wondered what weather process the pegasi had to perform to get something like this done. It also made me wish I had a jacket with me.

There were only two other ponies at the station when I arrived: the station master and a passenger, sound asleep on a bench. I headed up to the former.

“Excuse me, sir, but when does the next train from the rock farming community arrive?”

The station master, a wizened, yellowish Earth pony with a white mustache, reached into his coat and pulled out an old-fashioned gold pocket watch, observing its face closely.

“Should be along any minute,” he said, in a creaky voice. “Expecting somepony?”

“Yes. Party of seven.”

“Ahh, I see. Well, if you’re frettin’ bout the fog, don’t worry. The express has never been late, rain or shine. I can guarantee it.”

“Well, thanks, sir.”

I left the station master to his duties and stood on a random spot on the platform, peering down the track for any sign of the train. I was feeling a jumble of excited, anticipatory emotions at seeing the girls again, and felt like there should be a word for something like that. ‘Nervouscited’? Nah, that was more of a Pinkie word...

I couldn’t wait to tell them about Moonlight. They’d love her, if they didn’t give the poor girl a heart attack from so much attention when they met her. Would she even accept a ‘Hello, new friend’ kind of party from Pinkie? If she was so scared of thunder, she might not exactly jump at the chance to have a loud celebration performed in her honor.

And then there was Trixie. The girls were going to have to encounter her sooner or later, but so far, the only one I knew that still held any animosity towards her was Rainbow Dash. Would she still treat her with hostility? Or would she be willing to extend the olive branch? I sincerely hoped it would be the latter. Trixie wasn’t so bad, really, as long as she wasn’t still angry with me.

Suddenly, the air was pierced by a long blast on a train whistle, and a bright lantern light shone through the morning fog. With a grinding screech, the train rolled into the station, pulling to a laborious stop. The sleeping traveler snorted awake, muttering something about buffalo.

The train doors slid open, and several ponies began filing out. I scanned them for any sign of my pals, but that was unnecessary. All of a sudden, something slammed into me, knocking me backwards onto another bench. A whiff of cotton candy met my nostrils, and I knew it could only be Pinkie. Sure enough, when I looked up, there she was, blue eyes twinkling, a beaming, pearly smile on her face. She was no longer wearing her special dress.

“Davie!” she squealed, as she threw her forelegs around me and nuzzled her cheek against mine. “Ohh, it’s so good to see you again! I missed you so much!”

“Aw, Pinkie, I missed you too,” I said, putting my arms around her. “I’m glad you had a great time with your folks.”

“I did, but I wish you could have shared it with us. You would have had so much fun.”

“Well, I’m at least grateful that your father approves of me now.”

“Oh! That reminds me!”

Pinkie rummaged around in...nothingness, and brought out, from behind her back, a small wickerwork basket full of rocks of varying colors, from purple to yellowish.

“What’s that?” I asked. “A do-it-yourself rock garden?”

“No, silly! It’s a gift basket from Dad. It’s his way of apologizing and hoping there’s no hard feelings. He says these are some of the finer rocks from this year’s harvest.”

I felt like I could have burst out laughing at the thought of receiving a basket of rocks as a gift. Then again, rocks were part of the Pie livelihood. To make fun of a gift like this might hurt Pinkie’s feelings, even if she wasn’t a rock farmer anymore. Therefore, I accepted the basket.

“Yeah, there’s no hard feelings,” I assured her. “Thanks, Pinkie.”

She smiled and nestled herself against me again, her head under my chin. There came a clatter of hooves, and I looked up to see the others departing the train, helping Applejack keep her wagon steady. It looked even fuller than when we had set out, packed with what looked like more sweets and baked goods. They all smiled at the sight of me with Pinkie snuggled in my lap.

“Dave!” said Twilight. “You didn’t have to wait at the platform for us, and on such a chilly morning.”

“Oh, I didn’t mind, Twi,” I said, standing up slowly so that Pinkie had time to get off. “I missed you girls.”

“And we missed you, sugarcube,” said Applejack. “We’re mighty sorry you were given the boot like that.”
“It’s no big deal. Mr. Pie was willing to apologize, so I don’t feel any grudge against him. From the sound of your letters, you girls had a blast.”

“We sure did!” said Rainbow. “It's not as upscale as Manehattan or Las Pegasus, but there’s still plenty to do and look at if you get bored of rocks.”

“But it sounds like you’ve had quite a week yourself,” said Twilight. “Protecting a pony from a particularly perilous plague, represented poorly in the public post, and then proffered an unprecedented apology.”

(Try saying all that three times fast...)

“Still can’t believe how mean that mare was, saying that stuff about Davie and the Cakes...” muttered Pinkie, in a pouty voice. I ruffled her mane consolingly.

“Yeah, I’ll certainly admit, this week has been anything but boring,” I said.

Spike, who had been standing by, looking anxious, suddenly tugged on Twilight’s tail. She looked at his pensive expression and seemed to comprehend.

“Right. Of course, Spike.” She turned to me. “Dave, I hope you’ll forgive me, but we’d better get home. We want to check on Peewee.”

“Of course, Twi. I told Owlowiscious that you’d be home today. The poor guy looked like he was at the end of his rope.”

“Oh dear,” muttered Twilight. “I’ll see you later, everypony. Come on, Spike.”

The two hurried briskly off toward the library.

“Well, I think we’d all better return to our homes,” said Rarity. “As relaxing as our trip was, the ride back hasn’t done me any favors. I’m going to dump off my luggage and then head to the spa. You’ll be joining me, right, Fluttershy?”

“Of course, Rarity,” said Fluttershy. “I just need to check on Angel. I asked Cloudchaser if she could check on him while I was away, make sure he’s fed.”

“That’s fine,” said Rarity, before turning to me. “I hope you don’t think we’re being ungrateful, darling. We were sorry to not have you with us.”

“Aw, no, I understand,” I said. “I feel the same way coming back from a trip. I’ll catch you girls later.”

The two dainty ponies took their leave of the group, so that it was just me, Pinkie, and Applejack.

“I’ve gotta go see Gummy and the twins,” said Pinkie. “I can only imagine how much they’ve missed me! Probably as much as I missed them!”

“And that’s a whole lot, I reckon,” I said.

“Exactly! I’ll see you later, Davie, ok? Now that I’ve gotten my family situation out of the way, we’ll have lots and lots of time to spend with each other!”

“I’d really like that, Pinkie,” I said. “You’re always welcome at my house.”

Pinkie smiled broadly, but then suddenly gasped and clapped a hoof to the side of her face. 

“Oh. My. Gosh! I just had the bestest-best idea ever! We could have a slumber party at your house! I love slumber parties!”

Was she serious?...

“Er, a slumber party, Pinkie? Not that doesn’t sound like a good idea, but-”

“Don’t worry about it, silly-billy. Slumber parties are the one party I don’t plan if they’re at somepony else’s house. You just tell me when and I’ll be there!”

She was smiling with such an eager, happy face, that I just couldn’t find it in my heart to say anything against the idea of being, potentially, the only boy at a girl-dominated slumber party.

“A slumber party sounds like fun, Pinkie,” I said. “I’ll definitely notify you ahead of time.”

“Yay! Well, I’m off to Sugarcube Corner. I’ll swing by your place later!”

“Do you mean that literally or-”

Pinkie didn’t answer, but zipped off for home. Knowing Pinkie, she may very well have meant ‘swing by’ literally. I turned to Applejack, standing alone at the platform with her cart harnessed to her.

“May I walk you home, Miss Applejack?” I asked, bowing graciously.

Applejack chuckled. “That’s sweet of you, sugar. I’d be honored.”

So the two of us departed the station side by side, the cart creaking along behind, laden with its load.


***


“Oh, wow...this stuff is amazing!”

“Ain’t it, though? Ah won’t lie, Ah was kinda jealous, but Grammy Pie’s one heck of a baker.”

As we walked, Applejack had given me permission to try some of Grammy Pie’s confections from the wagon. Her lemon tarts were especially delicious.

“Ah can’t remember the last time Ah ate so much,” Applejack went on. “By the time we were ready to head home, Ah felt like mah harness was a little tighter on me.”

“Don’t be silly, AJ,” I said. “You look about the same as usual.”

“Thanks, Dave,” said Applejack, smiling. 

It was for only a brief moment, however, and was replaced by a stern frown. 

“Ah’ll tell ya right now, hun, yer too nice a feller to have garbage like that first article printed about you. An alien? A danger to the town’s foals? Who the hay did that Dolly Tribune think she was?!”

“Apparently, she thought she was writing something the town would find exciting.”

“Exciting?!” snapped Applejack. “You call makin’ up outrageous lies exciting?!”

“Well, she told me she believed she was being satirical.”

“Hmph!” snorted Applejack. “There’s a difference between satire and just makin’ stuff up.”

“I know that,” I said, “but you don’t have to worry. I already saw to it that she was given a piece of my mind via her editor-in-chief.”

“Ah figured that when the new article came out. Ah gotta admit, you must’ve really shook her up to make her change that story. Twi told us Dolly Tribune was responsible for some pretty nasty gossip even before the whole Gabby Gums thing.”

“She’s not so bad, Applejack,” I said. “All she needed was to understand that she can’t just write up fanciful stuff for fun without fact-checking. She’s actually quite nice to talk to.”

“Ah’ll take yer word for it,” said Applejack. “Ah ain’t too keen to show up in the paper.”

We stopped right up at my own house.

“If you want, you can unload some of the stuff in the wagon for yerself.”

“Really? Great! You don’t mind waiting, then, do you?”

“Nope.”

Gratefully, I unlocked my front door and made a couple trips from the cart to my fridge, taking some lemon tarts, some shortbread cookies, and even some ‘rock cakes’, though hopefully not the teeth-breakers Hagrid would have made. With that done, I rejoined Applejack, and we set off for Sweet Apple Acres.

“So what are you gonna do today, Applejack?”

“Ah dunno, probably rest for a spell. Gonna have to get back to work tomorrow, though. You?”

“I was gonna stop by the hospital and see if Tri- er, if my friend was safe to visit.”

“Ahh, that’s right. Well, when y’all do get permission to visit yer friend, lemme know. I’ll bring along a get-well basket of our orchard’s finest. Works every time.”

Yeah...that didn’t sound like a bad idea. A bit of a peace offering might smooth things out between Applejack and Trixie, if any tension still lingered between the two at all. I had never heard if Applejack still held a grudge or not.

“I think that’d be a swell idea. Thanks, AJ.”

“Anytime, sugarcube.”

At last, the two of us came up upon Sweet Apple Acres land, and came right up to the big barn.

“Need help unhitching, Applejack?”

“Nope, I’ve got it, but thanks.”

Sure enough, as I watched, Applejack began wriggling backwards, and eventually popped herself out of the harness. I was impressed by how she had managed it,  though it looked like it had taken a bit of effort to squeeze her stocky body out. Applejack yawned and began stretching her limbs, probably from relief of letting off her burden.

“Very nice,” I said. “Back where I come from, when horses need to be hitched up, we humans have to do it for them.”

“Ha!” snorted Applejack. “Sounds right lazy of them.”

“I agree. Anyways, take care, Applejack. I’ll let you know when you can come along.”

“Great. Take it easy, Dave.”

She ambled off into the barn, and I headed back for home. I’d wait until the afternoon to check up on Trixie’s condition. The day was still young.


***


When I arrived at the hospital in the early afternoon, it was to find a rather bizarre scene. Vinyl was in the lobby in her wheelchair, and Nurses Redheart and Tenderheart were holding back none other than Octavia, who looked livid.

“Let me go!” she snarled. “I’ll give her a real injury!”

“Miss Octavia, get a hold of yourself!” said Nurse Redheart. “You’re being ridiculous!”

“I’m the one being ridiculous?!” snapped Octavia. “I’m sent word, in the middle of a symphony tour, no less, that Vinyl’s in the hospital, and I come all the way to Ponyville afterwards just to hear she hurt her leg after a stupid stage dive didn’t go her way!?” 

She turned her icy, purple eyes on Vinyl, who was actually looking quite calm. 

“Don’t you dare smirk at me like that!” Octavia raged. “I was worried about you! I thought something really awful had happened to you!”

“Why, Octy,” said Vinyl, in a touched tone, though she was still grinning, putting her hooves to her chest, “I had no idea you cared so much.”

Octavia’s fury receded slightly, and she let out a heavy sigh. The nurses let go of her.

“Of course I care about you, Vinyl. You’re my friend. Honestly, though, can’t you be a little more careful? Do you have any idea how many times you’ve ended up in the hospital because of stupid stunts like this? Stage dives, crowd brawls, idiotic dares.”

“I’d love to, Octy, but I can’t,” said Vinyl. “It’s all part of life as a DJ, babe.”

“Don’t call me babe,” Octavia said, tersely. “I’m still considering giving you a black eye for making me worry.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t mind that, as long as you kiss it to make it all better,” said Vinyl, cheekily.

Octavia did not look amused at all.

“...I hate you sometimes, you know that?”

Vinyl laughed. “I know. Now c’mere and gimme a hug, Octy. Don’t you be a jerk now.”

Octavia rolled her eyes, but crossed over and put her forelegs around Vinyl, who patted her on the back. The latter looked up and finally spotted me.

“Oh! Human-dude! What’s shakin’?”

Everypony jumped. Octavia sprang away and turned to face me.

“Dave!” she gasped out. “What a surprise! Did you, er, just arrive?”

“Yeah,” I said. “I take it you have, Octavia?”

“Yes, no thanks to Vinyl,” said Octavia, glancing at her incapacitated friend, who shrugged. “I apologize for making you witness that. It’s not often that I fly off the handle like that.”

“Don’t worry about it. I’ve seen people do stupid stuff under duress loads of times.”

“Oh, trust me, Vinyl doesn’t need duress to do stupid stuff,” said Octavia, stiffly.

Vinyl chuckled.

“So what brings you here?” Octavia asked, in a more civil tone.

“I came to check on my own friend,” I said.

“Ah, right, the Goronide Bolezn case,” said Vinyl.

“Goronide Bolezn?” asked Octavia, looking aghast. “Good heavens! Is your friend all right?”

“I hope so. Last time I checked, the doctor told me they’d put a Moderator on her horn.”

“Thank goodness,” said Octavia. “I’ve heard that disease is absolutely dreadful.”

“It’s the pits, all right,” said Vinyl. “Way worse than a broken leg.”

“What is all the commotion out here? This is a hospital, for pony’s sake!”

Doctor Stable had entered the lobby, looking annoyed.

“It’s nothing, Doctor,” said Nurse Tenderheart. “Just a little argument. It’s been sorted out.”

“Yes, indeed,” said Octavia. “It shan’t happen again, Doctor.”

“I should hope not,” said Doctor Stable. His gaze then fell upon me. “Ah! Mr. Dave. I take it you’re checking up on Miss Lulamoon?”

“I am. How is she?”

“In much better condition. I’d give her at least a day or two before she’s allowed visitors. She’s returned to sparking from the horn, but even a spark can be dangerous. If you check back Sunday, you should be allowed to see her.”

“Great. Thanks a bunch, Doctor.”

“Of course. Miss Scratch, do you require assistance?”

“Nah, I’m cool, Doc. Sitting around all day’s gonna drive me buggy. I’m going for a spin. Coming, Octy?”

“Don’t suppose I have a choice,” said Octavia. She turned to me. “Take care, Dave.”

“You too, Octavia. So long, Vinyl.”

“Later, bro. Scratch-mobile, away!”

With surprising dexterity, she whipped her wheelchair around, then pushed it forward, through the doors and down the hall, Octavia tailing behind. Shaking my head at the DJ’s antics, I took my leave of the hospital.


***


That was all well and good. I’d be able to visit Trixie on Sunday, and I’d bring Applejack with me. A nice basket of fresh apples might even benefit her recovering health. They did say “an apple a day keeps the doctor away”, after all.

I opened up my door and headed straight inside. All that walking had made me thirsty.

“Hi, Davie!”

“Oh, hi, Pinkie,” I said, casually, without even really thinking.

I was halfway to the cupboard to get a glass of water when I stopped, stunned, and whipped around. There was Pinkie, sitting at the kitchen table as if she owned the place.

“P-Pinkie?!” I spluttered.

Pinkie grinned.

“What the...But how the...When did...How did you get in here?!”

“Through the window,” said Pinkie, carelessly, gesturing with her hoof to one of my windows, which was indeed open. How she’d opened it from the outside was beyond me, because I certainly didn’t remember leaving it open myself.

“...I see...” I muttered, stupefied. With a shake of the head, I regained myself and took a seat beside her. “But you know, Pinkie, it’s common courtesy to use the door, or at least wait by it.”

“I know, but you were out,” said Pinkie, “and you could have come back at any time. What if I went back to Sugarcube Corner only to find out you got back just after I’d left? Then I’d have to walk all the way back over here, and by then, you might have gone out again! So I figured I’d do what you told me before, and, uh...what was it? Poison two pigeons in one park?”

Oh, brother...

“Kill two birds with one stone,” I corrected. “You really map out these ‘what if’ scenarios thoroughly, don’t you?”

“Why not? Did you think I was a silly, brainless goofball?”

“Pinkie,” I said, with a smile, “you are a silly goofball, but you’re anything but brainless.”

Pinkie smiled warmly. “Thanks, Davie. I hope you don’t mind me coming over.”

“Not at all. Like I said, you’re always welcome.”

“Yay! So, whaddya wanna do?”

“Well, er...I don’t really know. I don’t exactly have a lot of stuff at the moment.”

“Oh, yeah, that’s true,” said Pinkie, meditatively. Then, suddenly, she gasped. “Hey! I have an idea! I know somepony who sells secondhoof furniture! Maybe you two can meet up and arrange something!”

“That sounds great, Pinkie, but I don’t have the funds to go splurging on furniture.”

“Oh, I’m sure we’ll work something out,” said Pinkie, waving a hoof dismissively. “He actually owes me a favor for throwing his nephew a super-fantabulous birthday party!”

“That so? Well, I’ll let you sort out those details.”

“Okie-dokie-lokie! Your house looks pretty nice now, but think of how it’d look with a nice comfy couch, or a big armchair, or even a rug!”

“Yeah, like an actual house. I’m just sorry I don’t have that much to offer at the moment.”

“Aww, it’s ok, Davie. A house is still a house, even if there’s not much inside it.”

“True, Pinkie, true. I guess you can tell me more about your trip, the stuff you couldn’t fit in your letters.”

“Hey, yeah! Good idea! I’ll go grab a seat on your bed.”

“You do that.”

Pinkie bounced up from the chair, and was heading for the bedroom when she stopped short, her eye resting on something.

“What is it?” I asked.

“Is that...one of Bon Bon’s Choco-Box Deluxes?” she asked, a hungry look in her eyes. I could see that she was staring at my box of chocolates.

“It is,” I said. “There’s still quite a few left. Did you want to have some?”

“YES!” squealed Pinkie, almost instantly. However, she seemed to catch herself and cleared her throat. “I mean, sure! I love Bon Bon’s candy.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at her exuberance. I got up, grabbed the box, and took it with me into the bedroom. As I set it on the nightstand and laid out on the bed, Pinkie bounded up and nestled up beside me, almost exactly how Moonlight had done only yesterday. She grinned up at me, and I put an arm about her.

“Just like old times, huh, Davie?” she asked.

“Yeah, Pinkie, just like ‘old times’,” I said, though the times were hardly old. “So, tell me about your folks. What are they like?”

“Oh, gosh, where to start?...”


***


It really did feel as if I had never left Sugarcube Corner, and that Pinkie and I were roommates again. We had a great afternoon talking, laughing, sharing Bon Bon’s chocolates. I could have finished them off myself, but to me, candy tastes even better when there’s a friend to share it with. Pinkie spoke in a near-endless stream about her family, all that she remembered about them. 

Her father, Igneous Rock Pie, son of Feldspar Granite Pie, had always been a diligent worker, a tamer of the wide-open rock plains (whatever that meant). It wasn’t in his custom to smile often, and he was rather stern at times, but he wasn’t a stallion of a cold heart. He was just rather stubborn and not open to admitting his own faults, though they could be teased out of him by his wife or Grammy. Despite his more taciturn nature, he was a good father, and Pinkie had fond memories of him when she was a filly. While she had never loved rock farming, she remembered how proud her father had been when she had one day rolled in a rare ‘bonanza stone’, which was rock-farming lingo for a particularly rare rock that wasn’t an ore.

Her mother, Cloudy Quartz Pie, had been a different case. While nowhere near as exuberant as her daughter, she still possessed a gentler disposition than her husband toward her. She and Grammy would often spend hours a day knitting together for the Pie sisters, even once collaborating on a scarf that would fit around all four of them together. It was she who had introduced Pinkie to ice skating, having once had a passion for it herself as a filly, before she decided that her destiny lay in rock-farming.

Pinkie's three sisters had been her constant playmates, the only ones, besides Grammy, who shared even a part of her more eccentric nature, more or less, depending on the sisters themselves. 

Marble was the youngest, and, as it turned out, was actually Pinkie's twin, having been born only a few minutes after her. I'd never have been able to tell, since they looked almost nothing alike, with Pinkie's wild mane, bright colors, and plump build, compared with Marble's straight mane, monochromatic colors, and slimmer figure. She was very shy, and not much of a talker, except with her own family. She was, however, a very sweet and gentle pony, not unlike Fluttershy. She also had a creative side, and would often spend her free time doodling or writing. She had even composed a small compendium of poetry called The Words and Writings of Marble Pie, which, according to Pinkie, was ever-growing. 

Limestone, on the other hand, was more outgoing and extroverted. She was the oldest, and could be hot-blooded and grouchy sometimes, but that was because she carried most of the weight of the farm's responsibilities on her shoulders, and was very protective of her ore mine and Holder's Boulder, the giant rock I'd seen when I first saw the farm. On the other hoof, she was a very reliable pony who cared about her family deeply, could be kind when she wasn't burdened with too much work, and was also fond of animals. She’d spend some of her free time observing the moles and gophers that sometimes popped up from the ground, before her father ordered her to shoo them away. She and Pinkie had once discovered a parasprite while wandering one day. Since it had a voracious appetite and reproduced with disturbing rapidity, it was all the family could do to get rid of it before it ate what food they had. Only Limestone had been sorry to see it go.

Maud, the sister I hadn't seen, was the second-oldest, and was actually interested in geological research. It was due to this research that she was often away from home, which resulted in my not being able to meet her. According to Pinkie, she shared a lot of aspects with her friends: she enjoyed reading, like Twilight; she enjoyed nature, like Fluttershy; she expressed herself through her wardrobe, like Rarity; she was honest, like Applejack; and she enjoyed games, like Rainbow Dash. The two sisters used to enjoy an annual ritual that Pinkie had never brought up before: exchanging special rock candy necklaces with each other. That was, forgive me for making another pun, sweet.

Grammy Pie, who was Igneous’s mother, was the closest thing to a Pinkie Pie the family had besides Pinkie herself. She served as the enduring ray of exuberance and optimism on the farm when Pinkie wasn’t there to provide it, and the entire family loved her. She had a wonderful way with stories and songs, and had instilled a love of music and lore in little Pinkie, whom she especially doted on, her being an almost-exact second edition of her.

Despite the unusual circumstances and unlikeliness at face-value, it sounded like Pinkie had a very close and friendly family. It was painful to imagine her leaving it behind as a filly, but that was neither here nor there anymore, so I let her talk on, just glad to enjoy her company.


***


The sun was beginning to sink, Pinkie had been quiet for a while, content merely to lay beside me on her back, hooves curled forward above her round little belly, eyes closed. Her face was spotted with bits of chocolate that she hadn’t bothered to clean off. She reminded me irresistibly of a puppy on a lazy afternoon, which it technically was. I gave her a little nudge.

“Hey, Pinkie?”

“Mm?” she mumbled.

“I wanted to say something, but didn’t want to disturb your sleep.”

“What is it?”

“From what you said, you have a pretty great family.”

“Thanks,” she said, wakening a little more and shifting herself into a more upright position. She ran her tongue along her lips, cleaning up the chocolate specks she had missed. “But really, I have you to thank, Davie.”

“Huh? What do you mean?”

“You encouraged me to reconnect with them. I told you about my fears about losing them, and you gave me comfort. You told me they’d never leave me, and you were right. You helped me get back in touch with them. It’s thanks to you that I feel brave enough to talk with them and see them again.”

I looked at her in surprise. Her pale blue orbs of eyes were shining with happy tears. Then, quite suddenly, she threw her forelegs around me in a tight embrace. I felt myself go red, not from the hug, but from the credit she was heaping onto me. Had I really done all that?

“Really, Pinkie, I can’t take the credit for that,” I muttered.

“But you did,” Pinkie insisted. “I know you did, and I’m always gonna be super-duper-grateful for it.”

She kept her hold around me for quite a while, and all I could do was pat the back of her mane, still feeling bewildered at being named the means of her reconnecting with her family. I had thought it was all of her own devising, and that I’d had nothing to do with it. Still, I wasn’t about to contradict her like this, when she was being so earnest.

At last, she let go of me, and had seemed to revert back to her sunny self.

“This was really fun, Davie,” she said. “I can’t wait until we have our slumber party. Then it’ll be even more fun! We’ll have popcorn and s’mores and scary stories and truth or dare and pillow fights and-”

“Whoa, whoa, slow it down, Pinkie,” I said, chuckling. “That’ll all come in good time, and it’ll be a really good night, I can tell. Thing is, do you want it to be just the two of us?”

Pinkie pondered this over for a moment, tapping her chin with her hoof.

“Good question!” she said. “I’ll have to think about that. I’ll ask the girls if they want to be part of it. I know Twilight likes slumber parties.”

“Does she? I had no idea.”

“Me neither, but she told me all about her first one with Rarity and Applejack. It was pretty crazy.”

“A crazy party, and you weren’t there?” I asked, in a would-be aghast voice. “Blasphemy!”

Pinkie giggle-snorted. “I know, right? Well, anyway, I’ll ask around and we’ll decide on a date.”

“Sounds good.”

“Well, g’night, Davie!”

“Night, Pinkie.”

With that, she bounded off the bed and, to my bewilderment, took a leap at the open window which she claimed to have entered through. To add to it, she cleared it easily. Maybe she was more dexterous than I gave her credit for.

I ran to the window and looked out it. Pinkie was hopping away toward Ponyville.

“Hey! Pinkie!” I called.

She pulled to a halt and turned to look at me.

“Good to have you back, pal of mine!”

Even from that far away, and in the failing sunlight, I saw the sparkle of her smile.

“Good to be back, Davie!” she responded, and she turned and continued on her way, while I closed the window. Pinkie may not have minded having an available entryway, but I wasn’t that careless.
> Cutie Mark Crusaders Pirates
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

*Knock-knock-knockknockknock*

“Mrmph...”

*Knock-knock-knockknockknock*

“Guh...bleh..."

*Knock-knock-knockknockknock*

“Gah! Ok, I’m up! I’m up! What’s going on?”

The knocking persisted in the same style, regardless of whether or not I’d been heard. Grumbling, I got up from bed and looked at my watch. It read 7:00, which, to me, was way too early for a Sunday. Still not in a good mood, fumbling to grab my glasses, I headed to the front door and opened it. When I first looked out, however, it didn’t look like anyone was there.

“Good morning, Dave!”

I jumped. It was a familiar chorus of four voices. Looking down, I saw that it was Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and Dinky, all beaming up at me.

“Nice hair,” said Scootaloo, as the others giggled.

I felt the top of my head. I must have had wicked bed-head going on.

“What are you girls doing here?” I asked, drowsily. “It’s early.”

“Exactly!” said Sweetie Belle. “If we don’t get an early start, we might miss the morning tide!”

“Morning wha?”

“We’ll explain at the clubhouse,” said Apple Bloom. “Get dressed and meet us there, pronto.”

“But-”

“No buts!” said Scootaloo. “You’re a Crusader, and attendance is mandatory.”

“Yeah, mandatory!” echoed Dinky. “Don’t be late!”

And before I could offer another protest, the four sprinted off, leaving me by myself and utterly bewildered.

“Morning tide?” I muttered to myself. “Just what the heck are those kids up to?”


***


In the end, showered, dressed, but still confused, I made it to the Crusaders clubhouse, and entered to find them crowded about their little table, a brown paper map spread out atop it.

“Great, you made it!” said Apple Bloom. “Come in and have a seat!”

I took a seat and looked down at the map. It was one of the simplest designs I’d ever seen: a blue squiggly line with a row of dashes running down it, and a huge red X within a mass of green.

“So what’s this all about?” I asked. “What did you mean by a morning tide?”

“We wanted to keep it a surprise until everything was ready,” said Sweetie Belle, “but now it is, so you get to know!”

“Know what?”

“Our latest crusade!” said Scootaloo. “We are gonna be...”

And all four of them shouted at the same time,

“Cutie Mark Crusaders Pirates!”

Pirates? Had I heard that right?

“Pirates?” I asked. “Really, girls, is that the path you wanna choose?”

“But pirates get to do all sorts of neat stuff!” said Apple Bloom. “They get to sail the seas and explore new lands!”

“Hunt for fabulous treasure!” said Sweetie Belle.

“Wear cool hats and eye-patches!” said Scootaloo.

“Say things like ‘arr’ and ‘booty’!” said Dinky.

(Pillage, plunder, rifle, loot, kidnap and ravage without giving a hoot. Don’t forget those.)

“Really, girls, I’m not sure about-”

“And there’s more!” said Sweetie Belle.

“We came to a unanimous decision,” said Scootaloo.

“And decided to name you our captain!” said Apple Bloom.

I blinked in surprise.

“Me? The captain?”

“You’re the tallest and oldest out of all of us,” said Apple Bloom.

“And you’ve got a great way with words!” said Scootaloo. “You make for a perfect captain!”

“Besides, we wouldn’t stop arguing about who it should be among the four of us,” said Sweetie Belle. “So, what do you say, Captain Dave?”

“Captain Dave!” squeaked Dinky.

I looked around at the four of them. They were smiling up at me so earnestly, and they must have been planning this for a while. If I was their captain, how would it look if I just said no on the spot? Besides, what damage could four little fillies possibly do in playing pirates?

I stood to my feet and cleared my throat. All four pairs of eyes were upon me.

“What do I say?” I asked. Then, I shouted, in the best pirate voice I could muster, “I say let’s set sail, ye pack o’ landlubbers!”

“Aye-aye, Captain!” said all four Crusaders, saluting.

“I assume ye’ve all got the proper gear for pirating?”

“Yes, sir!” said Scootaloo.

“Then let’s suit up and ship out, ye swabbies!”

“Yay!!”


***


In no time, the five of us were decked out and ready for sailing. I had been given a real tricorner hat and a long wooden sword on a belt. The fillies were wearing bandanas of varying colors on their heads (red for Apple Bloom, green for Sweetie Belle, blue for Scootaloo, and yellow for Dinky) with smaller swords slung at their waists. They’d also taken the time to appoint their positions within the crew. Apple Bloom was my first mate, Sweetie Belle was the navigator, Scootaloo was the lookout, and Dinky was...the parrot.

Yes, the parrot. She chose it herself. She took it upon herself to sit on my shoulder and repeat what I said, and looked quite happy about it.

“So you’re really doing this?” I asked her, when she had sat her little self on my shoulder.

“So you’re really doing this?” she repeated, speaking in what I assumed was an impersonation of my own voice.

“Hey, I do not sound like that.”

“Hey, I do not sound like that.”

“Quit that.”

“Quit that.”

I tried staring her down, but she just grinned cutely back, scrunching up her little nose.

“Oh, so that’s the game you’re gonna play, huh?” I asked, crossing my arms.

“Oh, so that’s the game you’re gonna play, huh?” she imitated, crossing her forelegs.

“Ok, then, try this.”

“Ok, then, try this.”

“Raggle-fraggle!”

“Raggle-fraggle!”

“Zip-a-dee-doo-dah!”

“Zip-a-dee-doo-dah!”

“Nanu nanu!”

“Nanu nanu!”

“Bricka-bracka-firecracker-siss-boom-bah!”

“Bricka-bracka-firecracker-siss-boom-bah!”

I just stared at her. She hadn’t missed a single one! 

Satisfied that she’d won, she giggled and stuck out her tongue. I pointed a finger at her.

“You win this round.”

“You win this round,” Dinky mimicked, mirroring my point, though it turned to a boop on my nose.

The three other Crusaders giggled.

“All right, ye sun-drenched sea urchins!” I barked in my pirate’s voice, snapping them to attention. “Fun’s fun, but we’ve got sailin’ to do! Now where’s our vessel?”

“Right this way, Captain!” said Scootaloo.

She, Apple Bloom, and Sweetie Belle led Dinky and me through a thick patch of bushes, until we eventually ended up at the edge of a river. On the bank, sitting at the ready, was a big log raft, wide enough for the five of us to settle onto, outfitted with a mast about half a head taller than I was, a cloth sail, and a crow’s nest. It actually looked pretty good.

“Wow,” I said. “You kids built this yourselves?”

“Not exactly,” said Apple Bloom. “We had to get mah brother to get the logs and help us put it together.”

“Well, I think it looks very shipshape,” I said. “Does it have a name?”

“We left that to you, Captain,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Ah, right, right. Hmm...”

I cast my mind around for a good name for this craft, Dinky imitating my thoughtful face. At last, I snapped my fingers in inspiration. I saw Dinky trying to imitate me, but as she had no fingers, she couldn’t snap a hoof, so she gave up and said, in a pouty voice, “Cheater”.

I drew my wooden sword and reverently tapped it on the side of the raft.

“In the name of the Cutie Mark Crusaders, I christen you...the Celestia.”

The Crusaders looked puzzled.

“A fine ship has to have a fine name, doesn’t it?” I asked.

“Ohhh!” they said in unified comprehension.

“Now let’s set sail, me little hearties!”

Together, we managed to push the raft into the river, where it landed with a soft splash. I stepped aboard, Dinky still sitting on my shoulder, and helped the others onto it, one at a time, as the raft began to drift.

“All right, Lookout Scootaloo,” I said, “you take the crow’s nest, and keep a sharp eye out for any trouble.”

“Aye-aye, Captain!” said Scootaloo, saluting.

I hoisted her up to the little crow’s nest, where she immediately began looking this way and that, shading her eyes against the sun.

“Sweetie Belle, keep the Celestia on a steady course.”

“Aye-aye, sir!” said Sweetie Belle, and she took a seat at the makeshift rudder fastened to the back.

“Apple Bloom, as my first mate, it’ll be your job to make sure this boat runs smoothly. Report to me any and all troubles or concerns. For the time being, though, raise the mainsail!”

“Aye-aye, Captain!” said Apple Bloom, and she began raising the big sail.

“To sea, mateys, to sea!” I crowed, raising my sword. “Swab the poop deck!”

This was met by a bout of giggling from the girls, which I rolled my eyes at. Then again, the Celestia having a poop deck did sound kinda hilarious. Oh, to be easily amused by toilet humor.

“Man the bowsprit! Batten down the hatches! And if they’re already battened down, batten them down again! We’ll show those lazy hatches!”

“Yeah, we’ll show them!” squeaked Dinky.

I chuckled and ruffled her mane, then settled myself by the bow of the raft as the Celestia rolled on.


***


The wind was good, and kept us blowing along at a nice speed, not harrowingly fast, not sluggishly slow. Sweetie Belle sat at the rudder, giving little nudges this way and that now and again. Scootaloo would peer over the crow’s nest and shout down that the way was still all clear. Apple Bloom wandered around the perimeter, checking that everything was A-OK. Dinky, who was getting drowsy, sank down into the crook of my arm, while I lay stretched out, hat low over my face.

At last, roused a bit by a small ripple in the water, I sat up, pushing my hat up.

“First mate!” I called.

Apple Bloom appeared promptly.

“Yes, sir!”

“Time passes slowly at sea. Does anypony have an instrument or know a song or something? It would give us something to wile away the minutes.”

“I’ve got something, Captain!” called Scootaloo from up above.

“And what’s that, lookout?” I asked.

“A song!”

She cleared her throat and began to sing in a very off-key tone that made me cringe.

“Row, row, row your boat
Gently down the stream
Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily
Life is but a dream”

“Thank you, Scootaloo, that was very rousing!” I called up, hands over my ears. That certainly narrowed down what her talent could be...

“Ah’ve got something, Captain,” said Apple Bloom.

She held up a silver harmonica, glinting in the sun.

“Ah, cool, a harmonica!” I said. “Can you play?”

“Applejack showed me how once!” said Apple Bloom. “Sometimes she plays it when she’s relaxin’ after work.”

“Great! Then let’s have us a song.”

Apple Bloom hunkered down beside me, put the harmonica to her mouth, and blew a single note as a preliminary. Then, to my surprise, she began playing a song with incredible skill for such a little filly. I couldn’t really pick up if it was a song I knew, but it didn’t matter. It had a slow, methodical tune to it. It was incredible to just sit and listen to her play, eyes closed, swaying slightly with the music. I could almost see Applejack playing it herself, showing Apple Bloom the proper hoof placement for the note holes. It was unbelievable that these kids could be so amazing, yet not know their true talents yet.

I was snapped out of my reverie, however, by a shout from Scootaloo. The wind seemed to have picked up quite a bit also.

“Captain! Unfinished beaver dam, dead ahead!”

Apple Bloom stopped playing at once, looking startled, and I shaded my eyes to indeed see what looked like half of a beaver dam blocking the right side of the river, a beaver still slapping away at it with its tail.

“Sweetie Belle!” I yelled. “Hard to port!”

“Huh?”

“Port! Port! Don’t you know what port means? Left!”

“Oh! Left! Got it, Captain!”

Sweetie Belle gave a tug on the rudder, but instead of going left, we veered even more to the right, the starboard side of the raft scraping against the bank. 

“No, no, your other left!” I shouted.

“Oh, sweet applesauce!” yelled Apple Bloom, covering her face with her hooves. Scootaloo clung tight to the crow’s nest, and Dinky clung to my side.

The beaver saw us coming, gave a squeal of terror, and scurried away. With a crunching noise, we barreled right through the dam, bits and pieces of it splintering away. I looked back to see the beaver shaking its fist at us, jabbering angrily.

“Sorry!” I called. “It was an accident!”

I then turned to Sweetie Belle.

“For the record, navigator,” I said, a bit tersely, “starboard means right, and port means left.”

Sweetie Belle laughed sheepishly.

“Sorry, Captain,” she said.

“It’s all right, just try to be a little more careful, ok? We don’t want to run into any more beaver dams.”

“Got it.”

“I didn’t expect us to be going so fast, though. When did the wind pick up?”

“Not too long ago,” said Scootaloo. “We’re almost to our destination, anyways. The weather’s always kinda wonky there.”

“You know, I never asked: what is our destination? Not to diss the cartographer, but the map isn’t very self-explanatory.”

It was Scootaloo’s turn to give a nervous laugh, which told me she had been the artist of the ‘map’.

“Right there, Captain,” said Apple Bloom.

I followed her pointing hoof and felt my stomach do a somersault.

The river we were riding was going straight into the Everfree Forest!

“The forest?! Are you out of your minds, girls?!”

“But the forest is so full of mystery!” said Apple Bloom. “Who knows what kinda valuable treasures we might find buried away inside it?”

“Yeah!” said Sweetie Belle. “Rarity told me all about the abandoned castle where she and the others found the Elements of Harmony. There could be loads more treasure stashed away in it!”

“I don’t care if that forest is full of buried golden underpants!” I snapped. “I am drawing the line right here!”

“Golden underpants? Eww!” said Dinky, and the girls giggled.

“Oh, you think this is funny, do you?” I asked, hotly. I turned my gaze to the crow’s nest. “Scootaloo! You of all ponies should know why this is the absolute worst route we could be taking! Or did you already forget?”

Scootaloo stopped smiling immediately, her ears flattening. I reached up to pet her mane in a consoling way.

“Exactly. I’m not trying to dredge up ancient history, Scoot, and it doesn’t just have to do with what happened that day. I know I’m nowhere near as versed on what goes on in that forest as anypony else, but I can already say from my one time in there that I would not want a repeat visit, and I don’t think any wise pony would, either. Now, as your captain, I insist that we turn around right now.”

“Um...we can’t, Captain,” said Apple Bloom, uneasily.

“And why not?”

“Two reasons,” said Sweetie Belle. “One, the river’s taking us one way.”

“And the second reason?”

“We’re already in the forest.”

I looked about. Sure enough, we were already enclosed in a dense mass of dark green foliage, the sunlight almost completely blotted out.

“Oh, nuts,” I muttered.

This was just perfect. Here I was, adrift on a raft, riding down a river through the most perilous forest I had ever encountered, with four little fillies in tow. And, of course, as the captain, their safety was my responsibility. How could I have let this happen?

My worries were checked for the moment, however, when I became aware of an odd rushing noise, growing ever louder. And then, a sinking feeling began to settle in.

“Uh, girls? Question: are there rapids in the Everfree Forest?”

I turned to look at them. Neither of them answered, but the looks on their faces told me all I needed to. Looking ahead, I saw the water foaming and splashing, a telltale sign of one of two things: rapids or a waterfall.

“Girls, we need to get off the boat! Now!”

“But it’ll get smashed!” protested Sweetie Belle.

“If we stay on it for much longer, we’ll get smashed!”

“Good point,” said Sweetie Belle, after a reflective pause.

“Now come on! Jump to the other side!”

Scootaloo had already taken the hint. She leaped from the crow’s nest, wings flapping as she hovered down. To my amazement, it wasn’t the same hummingbird-like flapping she used to employ. It was slower, steadier. She had been practicing.

I didn’t have time to continue marveling, however. Apple Bloom, crouching low like a cat, pounced for the other side, but her hooves slipped, and she fell onto her stomach, where she began sliding toward the water.

“Apple Bloom!” I yelled.

Fortunately, Scootaloo was quicker on the draw. She ran forward, grabbed Apple Bloom’s hooves, and dragged her onto shore.

“Thanks, Scootaloo,” I heard her pant gratefully.

“Anytime,” said Scootaloo.

“Right, come on, girls,” I said, turning to Sweetie Belle and Dinky. They didn’t move, and were looking terrified.

“I don’t think I can make it,” Sweetie Belle whimpered.

“Me neither,” whispered Dinky.

“Come here, then,” I said, and I scooped up the two little unicorns, holding them against my chest. I could feel them shivering. “It’s gonna be ok.”

“Hurry!” Scootaloo called, as she and Apple Bloom raced along the bank to keep up. “You’re getting closer to the rapids!”

I looked up. The rapids were indeed looming closer.

“Hang on tight,” I whispered to the two. 

With a crouch, I leaped towards the opposite bank. Unfortunately, when I landed, my foot slipped, and I dropped Sweetie Belle and Dinky, who tumbled onto the bank. I, for my part, had begun to slip into the swift-moving water, just like Apple Bloom, and I was beginning to think that I hadn’t learned enough swimming lessons to survive in rapids water, but the four Crusaders grabbed my hands and, tugging together, managed to slowly drag me ashore.

“Are you ok, Captain?” asked Dinky.

“Yeah,” I panted. “Thanks, girls. You really saved my skin...”

The four smiled, but a crashing sound turned our attention to the river. The raft had gone into the rapids, and was being battered and buffeted around among the rocks. I looked at the Crusaders, who were mournfully watching their craft roll away, probably never to be seen again. I stood up and took off my pirate’s hat in respect.

“She was a fine craft, lassies,” I said. “A fine craft.”

The fillies nodded glumly. Then, all of a sudden, a new noise hit the air.

“Ow! Oh my stars, what just hit me?”

The five of us stared at each other in dumbfoundment.

“Uh oh,” I muttered. “I think we just hit someone. We’d better go see.”

It was against my better judgement, but we plunged further into the forest, following where the voice had come from.


***


We pulled to a stop at another riverbank, cutting the forest into two. That was nothing compared to what was in the river, however.

Looming high up was what could only be an honest-to-goodness sea serpent. He had purple scales, long skinny arms, a flamboyantly well-styled orange mane, and the weirdest mustache I had ever laid eyes on. Half of it was the same orange as his ‘do, but the other was purple and curled like a corkscrew. There was something oddly familiar about that half of mustache...

“Goodness, ponies do need to watch where they’re dumping their garbage,” the serpent muttered. His great eyes then fell on us, and he jumped in surprise. “Oh! Well, hello there! And what may I do for you?”

“Er,” I began, uncertainly. The fillies were staring up at the serpent in mute wonder.

“What’s the matter?” asked the serpent. “Is there something on my face?”

(Yeah, and WHAT a something.)

“I’m sorry, I’ve just never seen a real sea serpent before. You are a sea serpent, right?”

“Certainly,” said the serpent, slicking back his hair. “Magnet’s the name, Steven Magnet. And you are?”

“Er, I’m, uh...Captain Dave,” I said, feeling my hat. “And these are my shipmates, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and Dinky.”

“Delighted to meet you,” said Steven. “Hold on...” he added, in a voice of comprehension. “If you’re a captain, and these darling fillies are your crew, then I assume you might know something about this?”

He gestured to the raft, which had run aground. It had splintered nearly in two, the mast sunken right between it. The Crusaders winced.

“Ah. Yes,” I said. “We’re really sorry about that. We had to bail out before we hit the rapids.”

“Oh, no need to apologize, I understand,” said Steven, waving his hand airily. “I just wish I’d had a little more warning. Nothing ever comes down this way beyond the odd log from some silly beaver’s dam. You don’t get many outside visitors in the Everfree Forest.”

“I, uh, can kinda see that,” I said. 

(Ok, Dave, time to put those lessons on inter-species diplomacy to work. Just be natural...)

“I hope you don’t think I’m being rude, but I couldn’t help but notice your mustache.”

“Yes? What about it?” he asked, twirling the purple half.

“It’s, er...very unique.”

“Why, thank you!”

“That half of it looks a lot like how my sister styles her tail!” said Sweetie Belle. “It’s even the same color!”

“Really?” Steven then clapped his hands to the sides of his face in surprise. “Ah! Of course! You must mean the generous unicorn who gave up her tail to mend my luxurious mustache!”

“That’s right,” I said, briefly befuddled by the fact that he pronounced mustache ‘moose-tash’. “You’re the serpent she helped during the Nightmare Moon fiasco. You’re famous.”

“I am?” Steven asked, delighted. “Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo! How wonderful! I’ve always wanted to make a name for myself.”

“Uh, yeah, right.”

This guy was really over-the-top. The sooner this conversation ended, the better.

“Hey, listen,” I went on, catching on a thought. “You live here in the forest. Would you happen to know if there are any hidden valuables or lost treasures? We were kinda on a treasure hunt.”

“Treasures?” asked Steven. “Let me see...Treasures...treasures...Well, I do know there’s an old castle just beyond here, but I’ve never seen anything of real value inside it. All I really know is there’s some tacky old gargoyle statues decorating the outside. Absolutely ugly!” He made a face. “Whoever lived there last had no sense of feng shui.”

“Really? You don’t say. Well, I’m glad you warned us. Otherwise, we might have gone there for nothing. Sorry again for crashing our raft into you.”

“Oh, it was my pleasure to help,” said Steven, “and don’t worry about the raft. I’m just glad you poor sailors avoided those nasty rapids.”

“Right. So, can you tell us which way is the best one out of the forest?”

“Couldn’t be simpler! Just follow that dirt track at your feet. Should lead you right out.”

I looked down. There was indeed a dirt track beneath our feet. Er, my feet and the girls’ hooves, I should say.

“Awesome. Thanks again, Mr. Magnet.”

“Not at all, not at all,” said Steven. “Stay safe, and keep a watch out for timberwolves!”

“Oh, yeah, those things,” I muttered to myself. “We will,” I told Steven. “Come on, girls.”

The five of us took our leave of the flashy serpent, who settled back down below the water, disappearing from view.


***


The girls were oddly subdued as we went along the path. They didn’t look at each other or at me, but kept their faces straight ahead, looking glum. I had a feeling I knew what was wrong.

“Kids,” I said, gently, “I’m really sorry. I know that raft took a long time to make, and-”

“It’s not just the raft, Dave,” said Apple Bloom.

“Huh?”

“We were so excited about being Cutie Mark Crusaders Pirates,” said Scootaloo.

“But we almost get all of us and you killed, lose the raft, and didn’t even find any treasure,” said Sweetie Belle.

Dinky sighed sadly.

“Aw, girls...” I thought for a moment for something to say, then said, reasonably, “Playing pirates is fun, but do you really want to make a living sailing for weeks, maybe even months on end in a boat, just to go tramping around in the hot sun through sand and jungles searching for treasure that might not even be there?”

The four turned to look at me.

“If you ask me, I say we leave the dangerous treasure questing to ponies like Daring Do. Besides, isn’t it more fun to be able to hear about those stories than to blindly fall into dangers like that ourselves?”

The four looked at each other, then back at me. Finally, they smiled.

“Yeah, you’re right, Dave,” said Sweetie Belle.

“It was a good try, though,” said Scootaloo.

“Yeah. It was kinda fun, wasn’t it?” I asked.

“It may be something to scratch off the list,” said Apple Bloom, “but we’re not gonna pack it in yet!”

“A Crusader’s job is never done!” squeaked Dinky.

“You said it, sis,” said Scootaloo.

The return of their energy brought a smile to my face.

“That’s the spirit,” I said. “Now what are we?”

“The Cutie Mark Crusaders!” chorused the girls.

“And we’re not afraid of anything, are we?”

“No, sir!”

Something rustled in the bushes just behind me.

“YAUGH!”

I jumped about a foot in the air and whipped about, my wooden sword drawn. The girls stiffened as well, staring about with wide, alert eyes.

“What was that?”

“I don’t know,” said Scootaloo. “Could be anything in this forest.”

As I stepped backwards, I heard something snap, whirled around with a yelp, and swung my sword about...at thin air. I’d stepped on a twig. 

The girls were starting to giggle at my jumpiness.

“Ok, mateys, a joke’s a joke,” I grumbled, “but this forest really gives me the heebie-jeebies. What do you say we just head back to Sugarcube Corner? My treat.”

“YAY!” cheered the fillies, and they instantly made a beeline toward town. Glad to have an excuse to get away, I hurried after them, leaving the Everfree Forest behind in our wake.


***


The five of us sat, enjoying fresh cookies provided by Pinkie, who was back at her spot behind the counter, offering service with a smile. She actually came over to hear about our escapades.

“You rode down the Everfree River?” she asked. “On a log raft?”

“It was a fine craft, Pinkie,” I said, regretfully. “There shan’t be another like the Celestia."

“Especially not with a poop deck like it had,” said Scootaloo.

The girls broke out into fresh laughs, Pinkie laughing the loudest.

“You mutinous scalawags,” I muttered. “How dare you mock the majesty of the Celestia!”

“Relax, Dave, we were only jokin’” said Apple Bloom.

“I should hope so. Think of what the princess would say if she knew you were taking her name in vain for such a joke.”

“I dunno,” said Pinkie. “I heard she likes a good joke every once in a while. We actually pranked her with vanishing ink once, and she never got mad about it!”

“Really?”

“Yeah!”

“Wow. I’ve never known a ruler who was so relaxed about stuff like that.”

“Shame we had to lose the raft, though,” said Apple Bloom.

“Yeah. It did have a nice poop deck,” said Sweetie Belle, unable to keep a straight face.

“Ok, knock it off!” I snapped. “As your captain, I forbid you to say those words!”

“Which words?” asked Dinky. “Poop or deck?”

“Either, and/or both!”

The girls laughed again, but were interrupted by a loud clinking noise, as of a glass on a tabletop.

“Hey, Pinkie, another milkshake,” came a gloomy voice, one I recognized. 

As Pinkie turned to investigate, I saw Spike sitting alone at a table, an empty milkshake glass in front of him, and his face was one of the glummest I had ever seen. His eyes were tinged at the corners with red, as if he had been crying.

“Spike, don’t you think you’ve had enough?” Pinkie asked.

“C’mon, Pinkie, just one more?” Spike pleaded. “Please?”

Pinkie, looking like she shouldn’t, but didn’t have a choice, removed his glass.

“Spike?” I asked, bewildered.

“Uh?” He turned his bleary eyes toward me. “Oh, hey, Dave. Nice hat.”

“Spike, what’s the matter?” I got up and went over to him. “You look terrible.”

“Do I? Well, small wonder.”

Pinkie returned with a fresh vanilla milkshake, still looking concerned. Spike took a long, steady sip through the straw, wiped his mouth, and said, in a voice cracked and sounding on the verge of tears,

“You know how you said Peewee was acting restless?”

“Yeah?”

“Well, Twilight wrote to Princess Celestia yesterday for advice. And she...”

Spike sniffed and wiped his nose with the back of his arm.

“She said that phoenixes take a lot of care and patience to tend for, and she and Twilight both thought that...that maybe Peewee would be happier if he was...if he was with his own kind...that I should...should find him a new home...”

Pinkie gave a slight gasp, and the two of us looked at each other before turning back to the little dragon, who was trying hard not to completely lose it.

“Oh, Spike...” I muttered. “I’m so sorry. I know this can’t be easy for you.”

“It isn’t,” said Spike, “Peewee’s known me ever since he hatched. How do I know he’s going to be all right if I just let him go? He was my own pet, my own little friend, and now Twilight and the princess just want me to give him up? I know it’s for his own good, but it’s not fair! It’s just not fair!”

He buried his face in his arms atop the table-top, the milkshake unfinished and forgotten. Pinkie came over and put her forelegs around the baby dragon, patting his back. I looked over at the Crusaders. It seemed they had overheard, and were looking concerned for the poor guy as well. What was one supposed to say at a time like this?

Well, I had to say something.

“Spike, no one likes saying goodbye to their pets. I’ve had several who have come and gone back home. I know it has to be especially stressful for such a young kid like you.”

Spike sniffled and looked up, tears in his green eyes.

“Think of it this way,” I tried, “You said you got Peewee as a wild phoenix egg, right?”

“Y-Yeah. A bunch of dragons I thought were my friends wanted me to smash it, but I took it home instead.”

“Well, you’ve done the best you can for him. You spared him from those dragons, you helped hatch him, you tried to give him a home. Well, sometimes we have to know how far our gifts can go. Maybe Peewee’s just not meant to be cooped up in a house. Maybe he wants to be wild and free among his own kind.”

I could see fresh tears forming in Spike’s eyes, so I put a hand to his claw.

“Look, Spike, I know it hurts, but you could also look at that in a good way. I’ve heard a wise man say that the more it hurts when you say goodbye, the more you know you cared about them, and still will care about them.”

Spike didn’t say anything, so I tried something else.

“Have you ever heard the phrase, ‘If you really love them, let them go’?”

Spike shook his head.

“It means that sometimes, we have to make sacrifices for those we truly care about, even if we don’t think it’s right for us. If you really do love Peewee, then maybe it’d be for the best to take Princess Celestia’s advice. I’m sure she’ll find a home for him. Who knows? Peewee might get lucky and be returned to his old parents. You could help him with that!”

Spike’s eyes widened slightly, and he wiped his eyes.

“Wouldn’t that be something, Spike? You know where you got him, don’t you? Maybe you can bring him back to the mom and dad he had as an egg. I think that would make him really happy, don’t you?”

Spike considered for a moment, then said, with a brave attempt at a smile,

“Yeah, it would. Do you really think it can happen?”

“It could. Besides, wherever he ends up, you can always visit him, can’t you?”

“Yeah, I could!”

Spike sat up straighter, a smile on his face.

“You’re right, Dave. I’ve gotta put Peewee first. I’ve tried to be a good owner for him, but maybe I’m just not cut out for it. I’m gonna ask Twilight if we can try to find his old nest first chance we get!”

Pinkie beamed down at him and gave him a loving noogie.

“That’s our responsible Spike!” she cooed.

“Aw, sheesh, cut it out, Pinkie,” laughed Spike. He then looked up at me and said, genuinely,

“Thanks, Dave. I needed a good pep talk.”

“You’re welcome, Spike. Everything’s gonna be ok, you’ll see.”

“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right. I’ve gotta go, Pinkie. Put my shakes on Twilight’s tab.”

“Will do!”

Spike hopped down from his chair and scurried out the door. I turned to Pinkie and asked,

“Does Twilight even have a tab?”

“I guess she does now,” said Pinkie, with a shrug.
> On the Way to Recovery
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was experiencing that jumbled feeling of anticipation and nervousness again. I was finally about to step into the hospital to see Trixie once again. I had written a note to let Ironmane know where I would be, in case he stopped by while I was away, and went to collect Applejack. No sooner had she heard what my errand was then she disappeared for a bit, returning with a basket clutched in her teeth, full of ripe, shiny apples. As we made our way to the hospital, I had also taken the opportunity to buy some flowers from Lily, one of the flower mares in the marketplace. It couldn’t hurt, after all.

So there I was, standing at the hospital doors, my insides doing a kind of somersault as I stood resolutely in place. I gave a jump as something touched me, but it was only Applejack nudging my hand with the side of her head. She said something to me, but I couldn’t understand with that basket in her mouth.

“Huh?”

Applejack set the basket down.

“Ah said, you all right, hun?”

“I’m a little nervous, to be honest,” I said. “The last time we met before she got sick, we kinda had an argument. I don’t know if there’s still any hard feelings on her part.”

“Oh, now, don’t go thinkin’ that,” said Applejack. “You got her to the hospital, didn’t ya?”

“Well, yeah.”

“Ah’ll bet she’s right grateful towards you for taking her to get healed up, even after you feuded.”

“You think so?”

“Ah bet so.”

I smiled down at the honest farm mare. She was perfect for counsel like this.

“Thanks, AJ. Now, when we go in to see her, I need to ask you to not freak out.”

Applejack raised an eyebrow.

“Freak out? Why the hay would Ah do that?”

“Well, because the pony you’re about to meet might come as...well, a bit of a shock.”

Applejack just continued to stare at me, then chuckled.

“Listen, Dave, Ah’ve tussled with an evil princess, a spirit of chaos, and a whole heap of shapeshiftin’ bugs. Ah doubt a sick pony in the hospital is gonna make me ‘freak out’.”

She pulled a goofy, cross-eyed face as she said those last two words, making me laugh.

“All right, fair enough. Shall we?”

Applejack picked her basket back up, but before we could go inside, the doors swung open, and we were met with a loud voice shouting,

“GANGWAY!”

The two of us leaped aside in opposite directions as Vinyl Scratch came soaring out on her wheelchair. She screeched to a halt and whipped around to look at us.

“Yo, bro! Hey, Applejack!”

Applejack once more tried to speak, but the basket was in her mouth. She took it out and muttered,

“Consarn it. Dave, can you just hold this for me?”

“Of course, Applejack.”

I took the basket from her, and she rounded on Vinyl.

“Vinyl, what in tarnation were you thinkin’?! You might’ve caused an accident!”

“Sorry, A-jack. I’m just glad to be out of Buzzkill City. They even let me keep the wheelchair! Is that cool or what?”

“It’s only until your leg is healed, Vinyl,” came the refined voice of Octavia as she joined us outside. “Then it goes back to the hospital.”

“Aww, nuts,” groaned Vinyl, crossing her forelegs and pouting.

“Hello, Dave,” said Octavia, turning to me.

“Morning, Octavia. Are you going to be keeping an eye on Vinyl while she heals up?”

“Somepony has to. Celestia knows the damage a crazy unicorn in a wheelchair can do unattended.”

“Hey, Octy! Watch me do a donut!” called Vinyl, and she began trailing around in the grass in a tight circle, whooping and laughing.

“Yes, Vinyl, that’s very nice,” said Octavia, in an offhand voice bordering on annoyance. Her purple eyes then fell on Applejack, and she looked puzzled. “I’m sorry, but do I know you?”

“Ah doubt it,” said Applejack. “Yer from Canterlot, Ah reckon.”

“Er, yes, actually,” said Octavia, who seemed to be caught off guard by Applejack’s countrified accent. “And how did you, er, reckon?”

“Y’all just have that fancy, sophisticated air about ya, like mah friend Rarity.”

“Why, thank you,” said Octavia, “but I swear I’ve seen you before...” Then, all of a sudden, she said, “Yes, of course! You’re the mare who started weeding the grass at the Canterlot Garden Party!”

“Oh,” said Applejack, looking embarrassed. “Heh, yeah, Ah guess Ah did do that. Ah’ve never been to a garden party before.”

“Well, I suppose it’s neither here nor there now,” said Octavia. “It wasn’t the first time that I’ve attended a formal occasion that turned sour, like that disaster of a Gala one year.”

Applejack gulped nervously, but Octavia didn’t seem to notice.

“I swear, if I ever find that pony who made my ensemble, my ensemble, play the Pony Pokey at the Grand Galloping Gala, oh, I shall have some choice words for her!”

She seemed to sense that she was teetering on the edge of ‘vengeful supervillain’ anger, cleared her throat, and adjusted her bowtie.

“Well, I suppose I should be off. Good day to both of you.”

She trotted off to join Vinyl, who had stopped making donuts and who was now reeling in her chair dizzily, but still laughing.

“Whoa, wipeout,” she muttered.

“Honestly...” Octavia muttered as she reared up and began wheeling Vinyl toward town.

“Pony Pokey pony?” I asked Applejack.

“Ah’ll tell ya later,” said Applejack. “Whaddya say we just go in?”

“Yeah, let’s.”


***


When we entered and inquired, Nurse Redheart led us to Room 72, the ward for unicorn ailments and afflictions. When we arrived, we could hear a voice through the door: Trixie’s voice. It sounded like she was telling a story.

“It was a grueling combat. One does not take on a chimera and expect to get out of it with nary a scratch. One tends to focus on its several heads, and forgets about the snake it has for a tail, but even so...”

I heard Applejack gasp behind me.

“Is that...Trixie?”

“Shh!” I shushed her, urgently.

“Trixie's yer sick friend? Why didn’t you say anythin’?”

“Well...” I said, hesitating, “I was worried you girls might still hold a grudge against her, and wouldn’t like the idea that I was visiting her. She’s been living by herself in seclusion ever since she came back, and I’m probably the only one who knows. Well, besides Pinkie, but she’s only been with me to see her once.”

Applejack just stared at me, dumbfounded.

“Please don’t be mad, Applejack,” I pleaded.

“Mad?” Applejack asked, then said, in a kind voice, “Sugar, why would I be mad at you? Ah’m proud of ya for wantin’ to give Trixie a second chance. Ah may still be a teensy bit sore at her for makin’ me and mah friends look like fools, but that’s water under the bridge.”

“Oh, that’s good,” I said, relieved. “I was hoping you’d say that. But Applejack, there’s something I need to ask of you.”

“Anythin’, Dave.”

I gripped her shoulders and said, slowly and deliberately,

“I need your word that you won’t tell anypony about my secret meetings with Trixie. They might consider it a betrayal of trust not to have told them in the first place, especially Rainbow Dash. I have a feeling she’d be the most difficult in letting a grudge pass.”

“Yeah, she would,” said Applejack, meditatively. “You have mah word, Dave.”

“Good,” I said, giving her shoulders a grateful squeeze. 

Nurse Redheart opened the door, and we saw that Trixie had...unusual company.

Two other ponies were sitting in front of her bed. One was Screwball, the unusual pony from bowling night, but the other was one I’d never seen before. She was light blue in color, and her white-gray mane was very unkempt. She was wearing what looked like a straightjacket. 

Trixie was wide-awake, looking much healthier and much like her great and powerful self. She was wearing a green hospital gown, as well as a copper-colored ring around her horn, which must have been the Moderator.

“-and with one mighty blast of magic, Trixie vanquished the foul chimera to the depths of Ghastly Gorge!”

Screwball clapped her hooves excitedly, while the pony in the straightjacket...barked. Barked like a dog. 

Nurse Redheart cleared her throat, and the two kooky ponies looked over. Screwball saw me, gave a slight start, and waved with a shy smile.

“Haven’t I already told you you’re not to be in here?” Nurse Redheart asked, sternly, to Screwball, before turning to the barking pony. “And you! How many times do I have to keep sending you back to your ward? Now, both of you, shoo!”

Barking once again, the blue pony sped past us out the door, while Screwball ambled out more at her ease.

“Hi,” I said, as she passed. She nodded shyly in return.

“I’m terribly sorry about that,” said Nurse Redheart to us. “You always get a few, well, odd sorts when you work at a hospital.” She turned to Trixie as we stepped past. “Miss Lulamoon, you have more guests.”

“Show them in, nurse. Trixie could use an audience capable of coherent response.”

Yep, that sounded like Trixie all right.

As we entered, I noticed some things weren’t quite as one would see in a normal hospital. The legs of the bedside table looked like peppermint sticks, the window glass looked oddly like green Jell-O, and the ceiling looked like it was made of fuzzy carpeting. Something told me Trixie hadn’t gotten over the outbursts caused by Goronide Bolezn, even with a Moderator.

“Hey, Trixie.”

“Dave!” Trixie said, grandly. “Welcome! Trixie’s little ward was lacking for your attentive company.”

“How are you feeling?”

“Much better,” she said. “Certainly more great and powerful than a week ago. I’ve never contracted Goronide Bolezn before, and I shan’t want to ever again. What a nightmare.”

“Yeah, I was told it was really unpleasant. I was worried about you before I even knew what you were sick with.”

Trixie looked at me in surprise.

“You were worried about me?” she asked.

“Of course I was. Why shouldn’t I be?”

Trixie paused for a moment before finally saying,

“I merely thought you might hold our last meeting against me, after the way I treated you. It was not one of my more mature moments.”

Ah. I knew it would come to this.

“Trixie, I had thought that I was the cause of the argument. I was badgering you about going outside when you clearly wanted to be left alone. I should have been more sensitive.”

“Hush,” said Trixie, imperiously, but there was a smile on her face. “The Great and Magnanimous Trixie has already forgiven you. You should be grateful to be given such an honor.” 

I couldn’t help it; I broke into a smile. Seeing Trixie much like her old self again was more than I could have asked for. I went to her bedside and placed the flowers on her stand. She noticed them, and her smile broadened.

“Flowers, for me? How very thoughtful. I can’t remember the last time I received flowers. It must have been in one of my last shows before I came to Ponyville for the first time.”

“I really am glad you came out of this ok, Trixie. I’d hated to have lost you.”

“Oho, there’s no getting rid of the Great and Powerful Trixie that easily,” said Trixie. “I truly do appreciate your services in bringing me to be cured, although I do not appreciate this gaudy thing.”

She looked up at the Moderator on her horn. She gave it a poke.

“It feels too tight on my horn, and it itches.”

All of a sudden, a burst of pink magic shot from her horn to her bed sheets, which turned into a giant lollipop. Another blast turned into a giant slice of cheese, then a graham cracker, then an enormous open book, then back to her bed sheets. I was having a hard time keeping my laughter back, and even Applejack was chuckling. This seemed to finally draw Trixie’s attention to her, and she let out a gasp of recognition.

“You!” she said. “I know you! You’re one of Twilight Sparkle’s little pals! You’re the little hayseed I hogtied. I remember that pretty well.”

She looked amused with herself, but I shot her a warning look that wiped away the smile and made her clear her throat awkwardly.

“Yeah, Trixie, Ah remember ya,” said Applejack, “but Ah ain’t here to drag out ancient history. All that was in the past. Besides, if Dave trusts ya, Ah think Ah can too. Ah even brought you a little somethin’ for when you were feeling better.”

She came over and deposited the basket of apples at Trixie’s side. She looked at them quizzically.

“Fresh-picked Red Delicious from our own orchards,” said Applejack. “Go one, try one.”

Trixie picked one up between two hooves and bit into it. After a moment’s considerate chewing. her eyes widened, and she devoured it hungrily.

“Marvelous!” she said, her mouth full, wiping juice from her lips. “A great and powerful treat for a great and powerful pony! It’s a much more welcome change to the drek they serve here in the hospital. They didn’t even tell me what it was, but it tasted vile.”

“Glad ya like it,” said Applejack. “Consider it mah way of saying ‘no hard feelin’s’.”

“I thank you,” said Trixie. “Once I am back to full strength, I shall give the town a full demonstration of my magic. I’ve learned a few new tricks since I was away, ones that are sure to wow even little Miss Sparkle, which reminds me...You, apple-pony!” she suddenly said, pointing to Applejack.

“Applejack,” said Applejack, patiently.

“Whatever,” said Trixie, carelessly. “I want you to deliver a message to Twilight Sparkle. Tell her that Trixie is preparing her return, and that I have something special in store for her when next we meet.”

Applejack did not look pleased upon hearing this, and I sure wasn’t.

“Trixie,” I said, warningly.

“Relax, Dave,” said Trixie. “I merely wish to extend a special...invitation to her, to give her something she shan’t soon forget.”

She said this casually enough, but I couldn’t help but feel like there was a dastardly undertone to it.

“Can you do that for me, Applejake?” asked Trixie.

“Applejack,” Applejack corrected again. “Ah’ll tell her yer back and that you want a word with her when yer out of the hospital.”

“Good, then I dismiss the two of you.”

“Huh?” I asked, a little surprised. “I thought you’d want a little company.”

“Trust me, Dave, I truly appreciate your coming down to see me,” said Trixie, “but I’d rather speak to you when there isn’t a risk of you turning into a lamp post.”

As soon as she said this, her horn zapped out again, turning her bedside lamp into a pineapple.

“See what I mean?”

“Plainly,” I said, unnerved. “All right, Trixie. It was great to see you, and I’m really glad you’re getting better.”

“As am I,” said Trixie. “Until next time.”

Applejack and I left the ward, closing the door softly behind us.

“Hoo-wee,” breathed Applejack. “Ah sure wasn’t expectin’ that. Trixie, back in Ponyville, and wantin’ a word with Twilight. Ah don’t like the sound of that.”

“I’m not exactly feeling confident about it myself, but maybe she really doesn’t mean any malice in what she says. Just remember, AJ, we agreed not to let the others know I’ve been secretly visiting her.”

“Ah know,” said Applejack. “Ah’ll try to remember that when Ah’m telling Twilight about Trixie bein’ in town.”

“Great. Thanks. I feel a lot better having come here with a friend I can count on.”

Applejack smiled and nestled herself against my side.

“Happy to help, sugar. Now, whaddya say we head to Twilight’s?”

“Let’s.”

As we headed down the hallway, however, we were stopped in our path by Screwball and the other pony, who was actually panting like a dog.

“Uh...hi?” I asked, nervously.

The dog-pony crouched, wriggling her matty tail, as if she were about to pounce on me, but Screwball held out a hoof to stop her. The two looked straight into each other’s eyes, and then, remarkably, the dog-pony sat herself down on her rump without another sound, bringing a pleased smile to Screwball’s face. Applejack looked stunned.

“How did ya do that?” she asked.

Screwball looked at her and merely shrugged.

“I guess you ladies are waiting for info on Trixie’s condition?” I asked.

Screwball nodded eagerly, the dog-pony wagged her tail.

“There you are!" said a stern voice. "How many times have I told you?”

Dr. Stable came trotting up, looking displeased.

“Screw Loose, I have told you time and again, you are to stay in your ward until further notice!”

The dog-pony hung her head, whimpering.

“Hey, now, doctor, don’t be too harsh on her,” I said.

“I’m not trying to be,” said Dr. Stable, “but Screw Loose is a rather delicate case. She needs to stay in her ward for her own safety, and for those of the patients.”

Screw Loose’s ears flattened against her skull in a dejected way.

“They just wanted to see how Trixie was doing, like us,” I said.

“Ah. Well, as to that, she’s now fully awake and aware of her outbursts, as you might have seen.”

“Oho, we got a taste of that, doctor,” I said, grimly.

“Well, that should wear off in a minimum of three days.”

“Great. Thanks, doctor.”

“Anytime. Now, Screw Loose, I insist we return to your ward. I’ll get your favorite ball.”

This really seemed to excite Screw Loose, as she barked twice and tore down the hallway. The doctor followed, leaving Screwball by herself, looking awkward.

“Would you like us to walk you home, Screwball?” I asked.

Screwball smiled brightly, and hopped up right beside me on my other side. The funny thing was, she did it statically, without even bending her knees. She just kinda floated and turned around in mid air, like a lazy animation. Applejack continued to look at her quizzically, but said nothing. Together, we made for the front doors.


***


Screwball was...how do I put this?...unusually clingy as we went along. She kept right by my side, nestled up beside me like a faithful dog, and I thought that Screw Loose was the canine-minded one. It was if she was comforted by my very presence, but it felt weird. These ponies had human-like intelligence, so having one acting more animalistic in manner and affection towards me was a little bit jarring. Applejack said nothing, but kept shooting Screwball odd looks, as if she was worried she might explode or something. Nothing really unusual happened, though, except I noticed that her step was unusually springy, as if she were walking on the moon or across a floor made of rubber.

We came all the way to a hill outside of Ponyville, where the weirdest house I had ever seen stood. Its walls were of thatching, its roof of wood. Its ‘door’ was a window, and its ‘windows’ were doors. Its chimney was shooting bubbles into the air. The doormat, unless I was imagining things, read out today’s date. This was the kind of house a Dr. Seuss character would have called home.

“Here?” I asked. “You live here?”

Screwball nodded.

“Well, it’s...nice.”

“Quite a sight,” said Applejack.

Screwball nodded, and made a gesture as if she were asking if we wanted to come inside.

“Oh, we’d love to, but we have another errand to run,” I said. “But I’d definitely love to come visit sometime.”

Screwball looked delighted. She clapped her hooves, making an odd, random noise with each clap (I imagine I heard a rubber ducky squeak, a dog bark, a frog ribbit, and a spring boing). She trotted over to her window of a door, slid the lower pane up, and crawled inside. She was quite a skinny pony, so it was fine for her, but a pony of a slightly larger build might have had better luck getting in through one of the door-windows. The pane slid shut from the inside.

Applejack and I just stood there in stunned silence, unsure of what to say. Finally, we turned and started trekking down the hill.

“She seems like a nice pony,” I said.

“Ah think so too,” said Applejack, “but Ah’ve never seen an odder duck in mah born days.”

“Ok, so maybe she’s a little unusual,” I said, reasonably, “but Caramel told me she was affected worse than everypony else during Discord’s return. She’s probably just having trouble adjusting.”

“Probably.” 

We walked in silence for a moment or two, then Applejack asked,

“So, you excited for Nightmare Night comin’ up?”

“Well, sure, even if I don’t really know what I’m gonna dress up as. It’s been ages since I’ve done that.”

“Don’t worry about that. I’ll betcha Rarity will help set you up with a bang-up costume.”

“I’d like that. So, what does one do on Nightmare Night?”

“Oh, collect candy, play games in the town square, and then, there’s the big event of the night, when all the foals that go out collectin’ candy offer them to Nightmare Moon.”

“Oh, that’s...Wait, what? But I thought Nightmare Moon was-”

“Now, Dave, Ah can’t be giving too much away. It’d be spoilin’. Yer gonna have to see for yerself.”

“But-”

“Ah’m sayin’ nothin’ else.”

She just grinned at me, and I could get nothing else out of her. What the heck was she talking about? I thought Nightmare Moon was Princess Luna’s evil side that had been banished away. Why did they pay tribute to her, and in candy? 

We walked in silence the rest of the way to Twilight’s, me half-confused, half-irritated.


***


Fortunately, Twilight was indeed around when we arrived at the library, but Spike wasn’t, and, from the sound of things, Peewee was absent too, something that Owlowiscious seemed very relieved about.

“Where’s Spike?” I asked.

“Last night, we went scouting to see if we could find Peewee’s old nest,” said Twilight, “and, luckily, we did. The parents and their chicks had returned after those delinquent dragons departed, so today Spike took Peewee with him to return him to his parents. He said he wanted to do it alone.”

“That's pretty big of him," I said.

“I know," said Twilight, smiling. "I’m so proud of him. He’s being so grown up about this. He said he felt much better about doing it after talking to you, Dave. I knew Princess Celestia was right in making you part of foreign relations; you sure know your way around keeping the peace.”

“Aw, shucks, Twi,” I muttered.

“So, what brings the two of you here?”

Applejack and I exchanged a brief look, then I cleared my throat.

“Well, see, Twi, there’s something I need to tell you,” I said, hesitantly. “The ‘friend’ I told you about who was struck with Goronide Bolezn, the one currently in the hospital...is Trixie.”

Twilight’s reaction was just as I imagined. Her amethyst pupils shrank as her eyes widened, and she clapped a hoof to her mouth in surprise.

“What?! Really?”

“Really.”

“But when? I didn’t hear anything about it.”

“Well, er, we don’t rightly know when,” said Applejack. “Just came outta nowhere, didn’t she, Dave?”

She accompanied this with an all-too-toothy grin that would have made for a horrible poker face. I wish I had told Applejack to let me do the talking. I should have figured the Element of Honesty might not be the best at telling lies.

“Yeah, right out of the blue,” I said. “Zecora and I discovered her caravan in the woods by Derpy’s house, and we found her lethargic and feverish, so we rushed her to the hospital. I was worried you girls might freak out if you knew it was Trixie, so that’s why I just said it was a unicorn.”

“I see,” said Twilight, although something in her face told me she was not completely convinced. It could have been me, or Applejack’s lack of a straight face, but she said nothing about it. “So, do you know why she’s back?”

“She said she wanted to speak to ya, and ‘give’ ya somethin’,” said Applejack.

Twilight sighed and shook her head.

“I expected this,” she muttered. “She still hasn’t let go of what happened last time.”

“Well, can you blame her?” I asked, without really thinking.

“What do you mean?” Twilight asked.

I could see that I’d thrown myself into a corner, and had to do some quick thinking.

“Well, I only mean,” I said, trying to keep it casual, “that I’ve heard some stuff about her from other ponies. The whole town must have seen me carrying her to the hospital. Everypony might have given her a bad rap because of being boastful, but think of what kind of life she must have led, having to start over after that Ursa Minor crushed her caravan and forced her to reveal she never did any of those deeds. Can you blame her for being a little resentful for being humiliated like that?”

Twilight gazed at me curiously, as though she were trying to read my thoughts. It wasn’t exactly a comfortable experience.

“No, I suppose not,” said Twilight. “I just hoped she might have changed for the better after being away, but maybe I expected too much.”

“Now, hold up, Twi,” said Applejack. “Maybe she doesn’t really mean ya any real harm. She never did say. Still, if y’want, we can kinda bodyguard ya when she gets out of the hospital. I ain’t gonna let nopony have a chance of hurtin’ mah friend.”

“Thanks, Applejack,” said Twilight, kindly, “and I do appreciate the offer, but I should be able to handle myself against Trixie.”

Applejack and I looked at each other with smiles on our faces. Both of us knew Twilight was more than capable of handling herself.

“So, Dave,” said Twilight, “how are you doing with the Daring Do series?”

“Great,” I said. “I’m halfway through The Seapony’s Tear.”

“Excellent! Then maybe I can lend you the next couple for when you’re done with that. They’re Daring Do and the Basilisk’s Eye and Daring Do and the Legend of the Earthwing.”

“Sounds great! Are they in high demand?”

“Well, Rainbow Dash borrows them frequently,” said Twilight, and then, she clapped a hoof to her cheek. “Oh, wait! I forgot! Rainbow Dash checked out Legend of the Earthwing. Well, I can still give you The Basilisk’s Eye.”

“I don’t mind,” I said. “That and the rest of The Seapony’s Tear should keep me busy for a while.”

“Ah better head on back to the farm,” said Applejack. “You two have fun with your book-talk.”

“Book-talk?” asked Twilight, amused. “Honestly, AJ, that’s like Rainbow Dash calling me an egghead.”

Applejack rolled her eyes smilingly.

“Well, Ah’ll see ya both later anyways,” she went on. “Give mah best to Spike.”

“So long, Applejack,” I said.

“Bye,” said Twilight.

Applejack trotted out the door while Twilight and I went to sort out the check-out transaction. I wondered if I could get through the whole series before the next chance of me being sent home arose.


***


When I returned home with the new book under my arm, it was to find Ironmane standing by my door, looking stiff and important, but not altogether grumpy.

“Hello, Minister,” I said.

“David,” said Ironmane, curtly. “It is fortunate that you are here in person, because I have an announcement.”

“Er, yes?” I asked, a slight feeling of foreboding creeping over me.

“All of the other delegates have replied back to the notification I have sent out to them,” said Ironmane, “and have agreed to assemble the day after the Nightmare Night festivities. The Round Table would benefit substantially if you were to make it as well.”

“Assemble in Canterlot after Nightmare Night?” I asked.

“At noon.”

“That shouldn’t be too difficult,” I said. “I’m sure I can make it.”

“Very good,” said Ironmane. “I shall, of course, expect you to be on your best behavior. It would not do to start off on the wrong foot, especially when we have another new member in our ranks.”

“Really? Who?”

“I shan’t say here. You shall meet him when the time comes. In the meantime, here is your week’s stipend.”

He handed me another bag of money, though it seemed heavier than usual.

“I took the liberty of giving you an advance this time around,” he said, crisply. “Consider it my way of congratulating you for your conduct during your scandal last week. Do not get carried away, however,” he added, sternly. “A treat like this should not be expected all the time.”

“Understood,” I said, still barely able to believe my luck.

“Good. Now, I must be off. Good day.”

“Good day, sir.”

Ironmane departed with his usual stiff gait. I waited until he was gone, then headed inside, feeling slightly giddy at my bout of good fortune.

“Can’t spend it all at once, though,” I said. “I really ought to set some aside for sprucing up the place a bit. I also need to make sure my Canterlot suit is ready for after Nightmare Night. Speaking of which, I might need to ask Rarity or Twi for advice on a costume. Come to think of it, I’m gonna need a heck of a lot of candy for trick-or-treaters. Guess I’m gonna need to add a visit to Bon Bon to my to-do list.”

I stowed the bag away in my saddlebag, taking care to close it up securely, then lay down on my bed, bringing over The Seapony’s Tear.

“Now, where was I?...Oh, yeah! Daring was being told about the Tear’s purifying qualities, and where its last resting place is. I’d bet anything Ahuizotl’s gonna find his own way to figure it out...”
> Preparing for Nightmare Night
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I don’t even remember how far into the night I stayed up reading Daring Do. I didn’t even care that my eyes were getting tired. All I knew was that I wanted to be caught up by the time Rainbow Dash would be able to lend me the next book. These books were absolutely incredible. With breaks for something to eat or a trip to the bathroom, I read from the afternoon well into the night.

In The Seapony’s Tear, Daring and Dowser were looking into the legend of a lost civilization said to be a capital of the seaponies, hidden away in an underwater cave, as well as the resting place of one of their most valued treasures: the Seapony’s Tear. This miniscule, tear-shaped diamond had the magical ability to purify any water it came into contact with, no matter how polluted. Daring and Dowser therefore undertook the journey to find the capital of the seaponies via submarine. Of course, Ahuizotl was right behind them, though why he wanted the Tear was a mystery to me. Besides having to get rid of him whatever chance she had, Daring also had to contend with a giant crab, a monster squid, and even the enchanted security of the seapony capital, including reanimated statues of the aquatic equines and a great stone golem the seaponies had worshipped as a god. Boy, the lengths dead civilizations went to to protect their goodies.

The Basilisk’s Eye, as Twilight had told me, actually did tell of Daring’s very first adventure. It began in a flashback sequence while Daring was looking down the barrel of yet another death trap, transitioning to her days as a university student. Her professor, a retired explorer, got her interested in the lore of the Basilisk’s Eye, a gem that could immobilize any that stared directly into it. She quested out herself to find it in the Temple of Ophidius, but Ahuizotl, a treasure-seeker in his own right and rival of Daring’s professor, had taken it first, using it to take revenge on his old enemy. So Daring had been crossing paths with that overgrown ape-dog since she was in college. That was a lot to carry on one’s plate.

By the time I had put the second book down, I saw that it was close to midnight, by my watch.

“Good gravy,” I muttered. “These books really do know how to make time fly.” I stretched and heaved a great yawn. “I’ll read them to Moonlight before I send them back. She’ll love these ones.”

With that, I settled down into bed for a good night’s sleep, though my head was now full of visions of Daring Do, priceless treasures, and Ahuizotl and his feline pack. In all seriousness, it made for entertaining dreaming.


***


I had made a list of the couple things I had planned to do for the day once I woke up: buy bulk candy from Bon Bon, see Rarity about a costume, and talk to Twilight or somepony about things I should be informed of for Nightmare Night. I had a feeling it would follow many Halloween traditions, but still, this was a new land and a new culture; I didn’t want to step out of line or do anything that might be considered, what was the word...uncouth? Ironmane would have my hide, besides.

Therefore, the first place I directed my steps to was Bon Bon’s Bonbons. Pasted in the window was a colorful sign reading ‘Nightmare Night Special: Coming Soon!’ Smiling to myself, I opened the door, where the first thing I saw was Lyra seated on a stool, looking both tired and a little bloated. Empty candy wrappers littered the table beside her, and she was nursing her belly with one hoof.

“Bonnie, come on,” she groaned, “I must’ve tasted 50 samples by now. I don’t think I can take much more.”

“It’s just a few more, Lyra, don’t worry,” said Bon Bon, soothingly, as she came from behind the counter with a bowl. “You can do this. Nightmare Night is that time of the year when we get our biggest sales. We have to make sure the candy is ripe for the season.”

“But everything’s starting to taste the same,” Lyra whined, then stuck out her tongue. “Mah tunn cant dell duh divren bedween a chuglat anna peenabudda.”

“You’re just being silly,” said Bon Bon. She put a foreleg around her unicorn pal.  “Come on, Lyra, you’re my taste tester. Would I have let just anypony hire themselves for this position?”

Lyra drew her tongue back in.

“Well...”

“Who else has a heart of gold-” Bon Bon tapped Lyra’s chest with her hoof. “-and a gut of steel?” She prodded Lyra’s belly, making her giggle.

“Aw, ok, Bonnie, a few more couldn’t hurt.”

“That’s my girl,” said Bon Bon, proudly.

“But if I can’t fit into my Nightmare Night costume, it’s gonna be on your head,” Lyra warned.

“Duly noted,” said Bon Bon, still smiling.

“I hope this isn’t a bad time,” I said.

The two jumped and looked up.

“Dave! Hello!” said Bon Bon. “We didn’t hear you come in!”

“Hiya, Dave!” said Lyra. “How are ya?”

“Pretty good. You?” 

“Business is absolutely booming since that ad for the shop appeared in the paper!” said Bon Bon.

“Well, I might have said a thing or two about your special coming up," I said, slyly. "I thought it’d be a nice gesture, after all you and Lyra have been doing for me.”

“Ohh, you’re so sweet," said Bon Bon. "I was wondering who bought that ad. I’d been asking around about it, since it mentioned my secret special for Nightmare Night. Well, thank you very much.”

“Aw, well...”

“Now, what can I do for you today?”

”Do you sell bulk candy? I wanna be prepared for Nightmare Night.”

“Of course! Give me just a second. Lyra, you know what to do.”

“Aye-aye, mon capitan!” said Lyra, and she reached for the nearest candy in the bowl while Bon Bon went behind the counter.

“We’re having a special 2 for 1 sale today on bulk candy bags,” she said. “I’ve got mini chocolate bars, lollipops, taffy, gum, peppermints, you name it.”

“I’ll just go with a bag of mini chocolate bars and a bag of taffy.”

“Great! That’ll be 10 bits.”

Bon Bon plopped the bags on the counter as I laid out 10 bits for her.

“Still can’t wait to see what you have in store for Nightmare Night,” I said.

“Trust me, it’ll knock your socks off,” said Bon Bon.

“Socks!” said Lyra, suddenly. “I still need to get a pair! Thanks for reminding me, Bonnie.”

“What are you going as, Lyra?” I asked.

“That’s for you to find out, my curious friend,” said Lyra, sneakily.

“All right, all right,” I said, heaving the bags up under my arms. “Bon Bon’s really putting you to work, huh?”

“More so than usual,” said Lyra. “I mean, I love free candy as much as the next pony, but the Nightmare Night Rush is just nauseating. My poor tummy can only handle so much. I really should have read the fine print when I hired myself.”

“Oh, quit being a baby,” said Bon Bon. “Now, what are the results?”

“For the last three? Well, the toffee was a little too crunchy; don’t want any little fillies breaking their teeth on them. The sour apple taffy was perfect, just the right blend of apple and sour. And the strawberry-filled choco-ball, absolutely delicious.”

“Great!” said Bon Bon. “So I just need to remove some crunch from the toffee, good, good. Better to have one small problem than a bunch of big ones. See, was that so difficult?”

“Nah, I guess not,” said Lyra. With an effort, she managed to heave herself off the stool and onto all fours, and she began walking off to a door at the back. “I’m gonna go lie down, Bonnie. See ya later, Dave.”

“Bye, Lyra.”

The door shut behind Lyra, though it didn’t entirely stifle a little groan from her.

“She’s fine,” said Bon Bon, as if sensing my slight worry. “She’ll be peppy again before long.”

“Guess she’s just having a little bit too much of a good thing, huh?”

“Maybe. Still, I’m really grateful that she’d even go through with this. I’d ask Pinkie Pie, but once she gets a taste, she never stops. At least Lyra has restraint, for the most part.”

“That is true. Well, thanks again, Bon Bon.”

“Anytime, Dave. Bye!”

I was about to take my leave, when a thought came to me.

“Oh, Bon Bon! I almost forgot!”

“Yes?”

“Any tips you can give me for Nightmare Night?”

“Oh, is it your first? Well, Lyra would never forgive me if I ruined the surprise.”

“Aw, come on,” I groaned. “First Applejack, now you?”

“Sorry, Dave, but my lips are sealed.”

Heaving a disappointed sigh, I took my leave of the sweet chocolatier and made for home to drop off my purchases before seeking my other errands.


***


Next stop: Carousel Boutique. If anypony could give me ideas on what to go as for Nightmare Night, it would be Rarity. Maybe I could be a famous literary character. With how tall I was compared to everypony, I wouldn’t make a half-bad Paul Bunyan or Ichabod Crane.

To my surprise, I found I wasn’t the only one with an appointment with the fashionista. Fluttershy was coming up the opposite way.

“Hey, Fluttershy!”

“Oh! Hello, Dave,” said Fluttershy. “Are you here to see Rarity, too?”

“I am. I thought she’d give me some tips on what to go as for Nightmare Night.”

“I was thinking the same thing!” said Fluttershy, excitedly, but she immediately diminished, as if embarrassed for being so exuberant. “Um, that is, it’ll be my first time dressing up for Nightmare Night.”

“Really? Haven’t you ever celebrated Nightmare Night before?”

“Yes and no,” said Fluttershy, ears lowering. “Every year before this, I’d stay locked up in my cottage, too afraid to go out with everypony else.”

“Aww, that’s a shame.”

(That means she probably doesn’t know what to do for the holiday, either.)

“But not this year,” said Fluttershy, regaining a confident tone. “Holidays are a time for fun with your friends, and I’m not going to let my friends down, not even on Nightmare Night!”

“Now that’s the kind of spirit I like to see,” I said, approvingly. “Very bold.”

“Oh, um, thanks,” said Fluttershy, cheeks turning pink. “I’ve been practicing.”

I went to open the door for her, but paused, tilting my head, as I could have sworn I heard something through the door.

“Fluttershy, do you hear that?”

Fluttershy cocked an ear as well, frowning slightly as she concentrated.

“It sounds like...chamber music.”

“It does. I’ve heard of listening to music while you work, but never like this.”

I opened the door, but though Rarity was in sight, she wasn’t at her sewing table. She was up on her hind hooves, holding Sweetie Belle’s front hooves, the little unicorn standing unsteadily on her hind legs. It looked a dog owner teaching a puppy to stand up.

“Now, let’s try again, Sweetie Belle. That attempt was much better. You’re making such good progress!”

“You think so, sis?”

“I do. Now, follow my lead. Un-deux-trois, and un-deux-trois. Steady, steady. Good, very good. Un-deux-trois, and twirl! Yes! Marvelous!”

I couldn’t believe it. Rarity was actually teaching Sweetie Belle to dance, just like she said when I first came to the Boutique to be measured for new clothes. I’d actually forgotten that she had promised to. She wasn’t half-bad, either.

“Now, un-duex-trois, and un-deux-finis! Oh, bravo, Sweetie Belle, bravo!”

“Was I really good, Rarity?”

“Darling, you were spectacular!” said Rarity. She clasped her little sister to her chest. “I couldn’t be prouder!”

“You think maybe it’ll help me get my cutie mark?” asked Sweetie Belle, excitedly.

“It just might, my dear, it just might,” said Rarity.

“Yay!” Sweetie Belle squealed, throwing her little forelegs around Rarity. Rarity smiled and stroked her fluffy mane.

Finally, Sweetie Belle looked up and gasped upon seeing me and Fluttershy waiting at the door.

“Hi, Dave! Hi, Fluttershy!”

Rarity gave a start and turned to see us as well.

“My goodness! Dave, Fluttershy, I didn’t realize you’d come in!”

“It’s fine, Rarity,” said Fluttershy. “We didn’t want to interrupt you.”

“That was some amazing hoof-work, Sweetie Belle,” I said.

“Thanks!” said Sweetie Belle. “Just think: now that I can dance, I might be a step closer to getting my cutie mark!”

“Awesome!" I said, before turning to her big sister. "Are you busy, Rarity? Fluttershy and I wanted to see if you could give us some advice on Nightmare Night costumes.”

“Oh, of course! I’d be happy to!” She turned to Sweetie Belle. “That’ll be it for today, Sweetie Belle. Run along and play.”

“Ok! Bye, Dave! Bye, Fluttershy!”

The little filly scampered off upstairs, and Rarity turned to us.

“All right, then, let’s see what we can do.”

“You go first, Fluttershy,” I said.

“No, no,” said Fluttershy, “you can go first.”

“Are you sure? This is a big thing for you, isn’t it?”

“It’s bigger for you, since it’s your first Nightmare Night, period.”

“Aw, well, thanks, Fluttershy.”

Fluttershy smiled, and I stepped over to Rarity.

“I’m not really considering going as something scary,” I explained to her. “I’d like to go as a literary character, or at least a famous fictional character.”

“Ah, yes, I see,” said Rarity. “Like Daring Do? Twilight’s told me how keen you are on the series.”

“That would be interesting,” I admitted, “only Daring doesn’t wear any pants, so I don’t know if a human version of her would sport pants or shorts.”

“Good point,” said Rarity. “Goodness knows we can’t have you out and about without pants.”

She stepped around me, looking me over from every angle, rubbing her chin with one hoof. At last, she gasped.

“I-de-a!” she trilled. “I know just the perfect figure for you, my dear!”

“Really? Who?”

“Why, with that tall stature, that clever face, not to mention the way you expertly displayed that smashing ensemble I made for your Canterlot sojourn, I can see you making a fine Sherlock Pones!”

(Oh, criminy, not the pony puns again.)

“Sherlock Pones? I’m gonna take a stab and guess he’s a detective?”

“Only the brightest and most daring of detectives, darling! I’m a proponent for classical literature myself, and while I dabble mostly in stories of the romantic persuasion, a good mystery now and again makes for a wonderful afternoon! Yes, I think you’d make a dazzling Sherlock!”

“I have heard some of the tales of the version we have in my world,” I said. Then, upon a sudden realization, I asked, excitedly, “Would I get to use a soap bubble pipe? I mean, like one of those clay tobacco pipes, only with bubble soap instead? I’ve always wanted to try one of those!”

“Of course!” said Rarity. “What would Sherlock be without his pipe?”

“Yes!” I cheered, pumping my fist. Then, realizing what a doof I was making of myself, I said, “Uh, I mean, sounds great!”

Rarity smiled. “I’ll get started on it as soon as I can. Thankfully, I’m not too swamped this year. Seems many mothers are taking the initiative to make costumes for their foals themselves.”

“Well, that’s good. Take all the time you need, Rarity. You know I’d never want to rush you.”

“Of course, darling. It’ll be ready for you before Nightmare Night. Was there anything else you needed?”

“Nope, that’s- Oh, wait! Do you think you can tell me a little about Nightmare Night? It’s my first time, and, might I add, it’ll also be Fluttershy’s.”

I felt like a used car salesman with a pitch like that, especially as I dragged Fluttershy over for emphasis. She looked like she wanted nothing better than to be kept out of this.

“Is that so?” asked Rarity. “Well, as much as I’d love to help, I’m afraid all I can say is ‘sit back and let the night speak for itself’.”

“Aww, Rarity-”

“I’m sorry, Dave, but you can’t have a proper first impression if the holiday is spoiled for you. I have nothing else to say on the subject.”

“All right, all right,” I said, in a defeated tone. “I’ll see you later, then. You too, Fluttershy.”

“Bye, Dave.”

“Ta-ta!” 

As I left, I could hear Rarity starting with Fluttershy.

“Now, Fluttershy, dear, when’s the last time you were in for a fitting?”

“Um, probably for the bridesmaid dress you made me.”

“Oh, yes, that’s right. Well, your measurements can’t have changed too much since, so we should be fine. I’m so glad you decided to have a costume this year, because I think I have the perfect match for you...”


***


Now I just needed to find Twilight. If anypony would be willing to tell me about Nightmare Night, then it would most likely be her.

As I came into the town marketplace, however, I heard something that made me pause.

“Thank you, Miss Zecora! I’ve always appreciated your undying patronage! This is the latest from my Brew-Matic Tonic Concocter!”

The voice, nasally and ‘nerdy’ in tone, was coming from a stallion standing behind a stall littered with little glass bottles. He had a slicked-back brown mane, quite a few pimples, glasses, prominent front teeth, a sparse moustache, and a green bow tie. Standing at the front was a figure swathed in a brown cloak, but the pony’s outburst confirmed that it was indeed Zecora, as I saw her zebra-striped front leg sweep a ruby-red phial into a basket-like saddlebag slung at her side.

“I should thank you, Poindexter, my dear. Your inventive prowess is quite without peer.”

“Oh, shucks, Miss Zecora, you flatter me,” said Poindexter, modestly. “Inventing is as inventing does.”

As Zecora turned to leave, I had a sudden inspiration. She probably knew a lot more about the lore of a spooky holiday than anypony! She might give me the info I was hoping for!

“Hey, Zecora! Wait up!” I called as I ran to her. 

Zecora looked up, lowering her hood as I came to a stop.

“Hello, Dave, what’s the rush? What has got your face in a flush?”

“I’m glad I ran into you out here. Now, don’t worry, nopony’s sick this time. It just would have been pretty nasty if I had to try and find your house while blundering through the Everfree Forest.”

“A wise consideration, I agree. Now, is there something you need from me?”

“Yeah, advice. Is there anything you can tell me about the history of Nightmare Night, or anything I need to know before going in? I tried asking Applejack, Bon Bon, and Rarity, but they told me I should go into it with everything a surprise.”

Zecora seemed to mull this over for a moment, then said,

“If those three feel it should be a surprise, then I too find that approach wise.”

I couldn’t believe this! Why did Zecora have to clam up when I needed her for info now?

“Aw, come on, Zecora!” I groaned. “Wouldn’t it be better for me to know what to do for the holiday so I don’t screw anything up?”

“Screw anything up? I doubt you will. All you really need is a want for a thrill.”

I gave a frustrated sigh. I had been hoping to be versed a little more in pony history, so being denied it was not at all comforting. Zecora, however, put a hoof to my shoulder.

“This should not be such a conundrum. Do you have such a holiday where you are from?”

“Well, sure. We call it Halloween. We dress up in costumes and go around collecting and feasting on candy.”

“Then that is all you need to know,” said Zecora. “As for the rest, just enjoy the show.”

“But-”

“Now, if you’ll excuse me, I must return. I’m finishing a cure for a long-lasting burn.”

Without another word, Zecora walked off, leaving me no wiser, and a little frustrated.

“Would it hurt to at least tell me why Nightmare Moon is hungry for candy?!” I snapped to the empty air.

“Hey, even evil princesses have a sweet tooth,” chuckled Poindexter from behind his stall.

“Oh, shut up,” I grumbled, and headed off to who-knows-where.


***


My wanderings had brought me right up to Sugarcube Corner, without me even realizing it. As long as I was there, I might as well go in and see Pinkie. It would at least take my mind off the recent disappointment I just experienced. With that in mind, I headed inside.

Mrs. Cake was working the counter while Mr. Cake was giving Pound and Pumpkin a horsey ride, or was it a pony ride? I dunno.

“Hello, Dave!” said Mrs. Cake.

“Hiya, Mrs. Cake. Is Pinkie in?”

“She’s upstairs. I think she’s trying to decide on her costume for Nightmare Night, but I’m sure she’ll be glad to see you.”

“Great. Thanks, Mrs. Cake.”

I pretty much knew the residential part of Sugarcube Corner like the back of my hand by now, so I directly made my way to Pinkie’s bedroom door. Through it, I could hear Pinkie talking.

“I don’t know, Gummy, what do you think? They loved my chicken costume, but how can I top that?...You think so? Will they even get it? Ooh, wait, hang on. I’m feeling a combo coming on. ...Ear flop, tail twitch, back itch.” She gasped. “That means somepony’s at the door!”

I barely had time to jump aside before Pinkie swung the door wide open. Somehow I knew she was going to do that, but I don’t know why.

“Hi, Pinkie.”

“Davie! I wasn’t expecting you today!”

“No? Your Pinkie Sense doesn’t tell you when you’re gonna get a visit from a friend?”

“Nah, it’s only good for the immediate future, not like my fortune-telling.”

Fortune-telling? Pinkie could do that?

“You’re a clairvoyant?” I asked, confused.

“No, silly, I’m a Taurus!” said Pinkie, in an amused voice.

“No, Pinkie, I meant-...You know what, never mind. May I come in?”

“Of course! This used to be your room too, after all!”

Gratified, I stepped inside. Pinkie’s desk was littered with lists of names, some crossed off. Gummy was, well, gumming on one.

“Ooh, you like the taste of that one, Gummy?” Pinkie asked, gently removing it from his mouth. “Hmm, maybe I should pick one from this one.”

“Trying to decide on a Nightmare Night costume?”

“How’d ya guess?”

“I kinda heard you through the door. Did I hear you say you went as a chicken one year?”

“Yep! It was super-fun! But now I don’t know what to go as this year. I have so many ideas!”

“Well, I’ll bet whatever you do come up with, it’s gonna be great.”

“Aw, thanks, Davie. What are you going as?”

“I actually spoke to Rarity earlier, and she thought I’d make a good Sherlock Pones.”

“Ooh, that’s great! You do look like the detective-y type! Have you ever solved a mystery before?”

“Me? Nah, nothing as high-stakes as the stuff in books. I just like hearing and reading about them.”

“Me too! Twilight and I actually solved a mystery on the train once! It was a classic case of capturing the culprit of cake carnage!”

That sentence was so chock full of alliteration that I was half expecting Groucho Marx to pop up and say, “Try saying that three times fast”. However, in the space of time it took for my mind to become un-boggled, a new thought came to me, something to make up for the lack of time I’d spent with Pinkie since she had come back.

“So, Pinkie, I was thinking.”

“Yeah?” asked Pinkie.

“That slumber party you suggested. What do you say to having it tomorrow night?”

Pinkie gasped, her pupils expanding to fill up her eyes. A huge toothy grin spread over her muzzle.

“So, is that a yes?” I asked.

“YYYYYYYYYES!!!” Pinkie squealed, bouncing up and tackling me onto my back. “Oh, Davie, this is gonna be just great! I love-love-love slumber parties! We’ll have popcorn and board games and truth or dare and scary stories and-”

“Whoa, whoa, slow down, pony girl,” I said, putting a hand over her mouth. “I’m glad you’re excited, but let’s take this one step at a time. Now, let’s keep it simple, yeah? I’m thinking you, maybe Rainbow Dash. Who else?”

Pinkie’s reply came muffled, so I removed my hand.

“How about Big Macintosh?”

“Big Macintosh? I never pictured him as the party type, though I guess he does like to bowl.”

“It’d be another guy at the party, besides,” said Pinkie.

“Good point!” I said, catching on. “Smart thinking, Pinkie!”

Pinkie beamed in a way that I could have sworn made a squeaky noise.

“Oh! Oh!” I added, suddenly thinking of something. “I’ve got the perfect idea, Pinks! There’s a friend I’d really like you to meet. I’ll invite her to the slumber party! How’s that sound?”

Pinkie gasped. “A new friend? Somepony I’ve never met before? That sounds super-duperifically fantabulous! I’ll invite Rainbow Dash and Big Mac to your place at 6 tomorrow! How does that sound?”

“I’ll be ready, milady,” I said, making an imitation of doffing a cap.

“Yay!” Pinkie squealed again, bouncing off of me, but she didn’t stop there. She kept bouncing in place as I got back to my feet.

“I know you have your costume to think of, Pinkie,” I said, “but do you want to do lunch with me today?”

“I’d love to!” said Pinkie. “Let’s capital-G-O GO!”

She zipped over and snuggled herself up to my side, under my arm. I glanced down at her, but she just grinned goofily up at me. With an amused shake of the head and a pat on her crazy mane, I walked the two of us out of the room.

“Be good, Gummy!” Pinkie called over her shoulder.

Gummy merely blinked in response, which was as good an answer as any.
> Slumber Party at Dave's
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

*Knock-knock*

“Hello? Moonlight? You home?”

I was getting a sense of deja vu here. After lunch, Pinkie had insisted on coming with me to meet Moonlight, and here I was, knocking away at a door that was not opening. It was kinda vital that she should be around, now that I needed to prove her existence to somepony else. What, was she only available when the weather was bad?

“Are you sure she’s home?” Pinkie asked.

“Positive. I can’t think of where else she could be.”

I knocked harder, and finally, to my relief, the door creaked open, and that familiar forget-me-not blue eye peered out. It registered Pinkie, and I could just see the pupil contract; she was nervous.

“Moonlight, it’s ok. She’s a friend. Come on out.”

The door opened, and Moonlight stepped out, still looking cautiously at Pinkie, whose eyes expanded to the size of dinner plates at the sight of the pegasus.

“Pinkie, this is Moonlight, my neighbor. Moonlight, this is Pinkie Pie, my best pony friend.”

“Why didn’t I think of it before?” asked Pinkie, slapping her brow. “I come here to see Derpy all the time, but I thought both of these houses were empty until Davie took that other one! And here you’ve been living the whole time, and I never even threw you a hello party! Oh, Pinkie, you’re such a goofy-goof-dummy-brain!”

Moonlight looked unsure of what to say in response to such an outburst.

“It’s ok, Moonlight,” I said. “That’s just her way.”

Moonlight seemed settled by this, and extended a cautious hoof, saying,

“It’s very nice to m-meet you.”

Pinkie, a smile back on her face, shook her hoof between both of hers.

“And it’s nice to meet you, Moonlight! Davie told me you like Daring Do like he does! Who doesn’t like Daring Do? I know I do! What a doozy of a do-gooder!”

(If she goes on one of her tangents, we could all be in deep ‘doo-doo’.)

“So, uh, Moonlight,” I interjected. “Pinkie had the idea of hosting a slumber party over at my house tomorrow night. Nothing too big!” I said, hastily, seeing a slightly panicky look on her face. “Just a few friends, but I’d love it if you were a part of it.”

“M-Me?” asked Moonlight. “I don’t know. I’ve never really been much of a party pony.”

“Neither has Fluttershy,” said Pinkie, “but you can just leave it to me. I’m a party professional!”

She beamed, though Moonlight looked quite nonplussed at this claim.

“Moonlight, you have nothing to worry about,” I assured my pegasus friend. “Pinkie’s harmless. She just has a lot of love to give.”

Moonlight looked from me to Pinkie, who smiled placatingly. At last, she said,

“I’ll come to the slumber party.”

“You will?” I asked, feeling a happy jolt behind my ribs.

“You will?” asked Pinkie, excitedly.

“Yes,” said Moonlight. “If your friends are as nice as Pinkie Pie, I think I can trust them.”

“That’s awesome!” I said, feeling both relieved and excited.

“Whoopee!” cheered Pinkie. “Just you wait, Moonlight! This is gonna be so much fun! I’ll see you both tomorrow!”

“See ya, Pinkie!”

With the speed (and quite possibly even the sound) of a car on the highway, Pinkie zoomed off back toward Ponyville. I looked down at Moonlight, who was blinking in bemusement at the cloudy trail Pinkie had left behind in her speed.

“She can be a little weird,” I conceded, “but she’s the best friend anypony could ask for. You’ll see.”

Moonlight nodded, though whether she fully agreed or not, I could not determine. All I knew was, the party was on!


***


I devoted the next morning to getting the house ready. Well, I should say, Moonlight and I did. She actually asked if she could help out with setting the house up for company. How could I refuse such a generous offer? 

I didn’t think it would be very difficult cleaning up a house that didn’t have that much furniture in it, and while I wouldn’t say it was exceptionally challenging, it was still more than I imagined. Not only did we have to contend with my bedroom, the living room, and the kitchen, but the entire unused upstairs too, which I had hardly visited. There was a layer of dust over the bare floor, and I wondered if it would ever be put to use. I supposed it wouldn’t hurt to use it as a guest bedroom one of these days, so, armed with a duster, dusting spray, a rag, and a small vacuum cleaner that I had purchased together in the marketplace, the two of us got to work.

The one thing I regretted was not having any music to listen to while I worked. I had none of my possessions with me from my own world, not my phone nor my MP3 player. On the other hand, I had Moonlight to talk to.

“I really appreciate your help, Moonlight,” I said, as I dusted off the kitchen table. “I always seem to miss a spot or two when I’m asked to clean something myself.”

Moonlight was a marvel. She flew from top to bottom, armed with a dusting rag, polishing everything down to a gleaming sheen. For somepony so withdrawn and quiet, she had remarkably perceptive eyes to catch even the tiniest speck of dust. I was usually called out because I had missed one bit of pet hair or one speck of dirt when vacuuming. I suppose it could be attributed to wanting to just get it done, but I always hated lectures about that.

In any case, the house was spic, span, and ready for company with our combined efforts.

“Mom used to get on my case for not doing my room properly,” I said, more to myself. “Well, if only she could see me now, getting a whole house ready, with help, of course. Come to think of it, how would she react to me even having my own house in the first place? That might be the first reaction to deal with." I turned to my pegasus neighbor. "Thanks for your help, Moonlight.”

“You’re very welcome, Dave,” said Moonlight. “I really do hope this party turns out wonderfully.”

“With Pinkie heading it, it’s gonna be. Just you wait and see.”

Putting the cleaning stuff away, I set about wondering what kind of edible fare the ponies would expect at a slumber party. I had to be careful with my bits, and couldn’t just splurge willy-nilly, but I didn’t want to seem like a bad host. Boy, who knew organizing a party took such work? Pinkie made it look so easy.


***


There’s a kind of calm before the storm that always makes one feel nervous, edgy, ready to jump at any noise. It could be from waiting for the enemy to charge at a battle, the wait for a package or the pizza delivery guy to arrive, or, in my case, waiting for guests. I think I speak for every person who has ever hosted a party that waiting for the guests to arrive is very nerve-wracking. You always feel like there’s something you’d forgotten to do, which could jeopardize everything. You could be stomping around the house with a feather duster in your hand, ready to attack any offending dust particles that dared to settle on your hard work. You could be panicky about the way some of the furniture or decorations are arranged, and won’t be satisfied until they’re just so. I called this spontaneous OCD PPP, or ‘Pre-Party Panic’.

The minutes ticked away as I paced up and down the house, trying to ensure that everything looked right. At the same time, I was reminded of how sparse it was with so little furniture. Moonlight merely observed my panic without a word, though she looked liked she wished to say something. I tried to take my mind off of things by reading the Daring Do books to her later on, which she greatly appreciated, but even that couldn’t keep my mind away from the inevitability approaching. When would they be arriving? Would they be on the dot, fashionably late, or super early? I just couldn’t tell.

The day was wearing away quickly, too quickly for my liking. The afternoon slipped away into evening, and I was even edgier than ever, even as the two of us sat atop my bed, reaching the final chapters of The Basilisk’s Eye. What if they couldn’t come? What if they cancelled? What if it turned out to be the biggest snorefest I could have subjected them to? What if-

“That’s a good one right there, bud.”

I gave a jump, the jolt knocking my glasses askew, my heart jumping with such force that I could have sworn it banged against my Adam’s apple. Turning slowly around, I saw one of the weirdest sights I had seen yet, though not the weirdest: Lyra sticking halfway through one of my windows, right beside me. When we made eye contact, she smiled toothily. Moonlight gave a jump, her wings flaring out like those of a frightened bird.

“Lyra?!” I spluttered.

“Hi! Am I early?”

“Early?”

“For the party, dude!”

“The party?...Hang on a minute.”

Casting my mind back, I counted off on my fingers who Pinkie and I had agreed to show up. Pinkie herself, Rainbow Dash, Big Macintosh (still not sure if he’d even agree), Moonlight...had Lyra been brought up at any point during that?

While I was thus occupied, Lyra turned to Moonlight.

“Hey! Never seen you before. Name’s Lyra, what’s yours?”

Moonlight said nothing. She just blinked in stupefaction.

“What’s wrong?” asked Lyra. “Do I have something in my teeth? My mane messy?”

“How did you find out about the party, Lyra?” I finally asked, readjusting my glasses.

“From Pinkie!” said Lyra. “I heard her talking about it with Big Macintosh out in the marketplace. All I really heard was ‘party at Davie’s house', and nopony misses a Pinkie party. Does she still call you that? Davie? That’s so cute!”

She reached out and nudged my cheek with her hoof, which didn’t help the red blush in it.

“Your point being?” I asked, patiently.

“Well, I wanted to ask, but Bonnie was keeping me busy with more candy testing, and after it, I was a little too stomach-sick to want to do much of anything. So, I wanted to ask now, while it’s still fresh: can I come?”

She clasped her hooves together imploringly at the side of her head, almost like one imitating sleeping on a pillow. To add to this, she worked her mouth into an adorable pout, complete with quivering, over-large eyes. I sighed, allowing a smile to come over my face.

“You ponies are too cute for your own good,” I said. “Of course you can come, Lyra.”

“YAY!” Lyra squealed. “Thankyouthankyouthankyou! Now that’s that settled, can I ask for a favor?”

“What’s that?”

Lyra braced her hooves against the wall and tried to push herself forward, but she didn’t move an inch. I could already see what she was about to say.

“I’m kinda stuck,” she said, embarrassed. “I only meant to poke in and talk, but I guess I went too far. Can you give me a pull or a push?”

I got up from the bed and walked over to the window closest, opening it and looking out. Sure enough, Lyra’s rump was sticking out of the other side, her back legs wiggling slightly, and even her tail flicking. She was taking this rather well, I had to say.

I turned back to her front half, whereupon she grinned sheepishly.

“Relax, I’m not gonna make any fat jokes,” I assured her, walking over to her. “I have a feeling Bon Bon already does that to you.”

“Yeah, but I know she's just kidding around,” said Lyra.

She held out her hooves, which I gripped, then gave a hard tug backward. I heard Lyra groan in pain as I pulled, but I also saw her scoot forward inch by inch, until I could just see the edge of her cutie mark.

“You’re getting there,” said Moonlight.

“Almost there,” I said, bracingly. “One more pull ought to do it.”

I gave another heave, and sure enough, she topped through, right on top of me. I looked up to find her nose to nose with me, and she grinned that huge grin of hers.

“You silly pony,” I chuckled, tousling her mane.

“Guilty as charged,” she giggled.

“Oh, get a room, you two,” came a familiar, tough voice.

Lyra bounced off of me, and we looked up to see Rainbow Dash peering through the window, resting an elbow on the sill.

“Well, hello to you too, Rainbow,” I said, dryly.

“Hi, Rainbow Dash!” said Lyra.

“Hey, Lyra,” said Rainbow. She then turned back to me. “Pinkie Pie told me you were planning a party today, so I brought the best things you can bring to a Ponyville party, besides Pinkie.”

“And those are?” I asked.

“Well, myself, for one,” said Rainbow, rubbing her chest with one hoof.

(Of course.)

“And if you open the door, I’ll show you the other thing.”

“Ah, right, hang on a sec.”

I jumped up and hurried to get the door open. By the time I did, Rainbow Dash was already standing there, grinning broadly and proudly displaying the stack of boxes perched on her back, right between a full pair of saddle bags. A tantalizing, familiar smell wafted from them.

“Is that...pizza?” I asked.

“You bet! Rain or shine, I’ll get your pizza to ya in 30 seconds or less, or your bits back!”

“Wow, Rainbow, that was really nice of you to go to that trouble.”

“Ah, don’t sweat it, big guy,” said Rainbow. “Just point me to the kitchen so I can drop these off. I brought some other refreshments with me.”

“Down that way, on the right,” I pointed out, and Rainbow stepped in, still keeping the pizzas perfectly balanced on her back.

“Nice place,” she said. “Kinda bare, though.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m meaning to fix that soon, when I have the funds.”

“Did somepony say fun?”

I knew that voice! I turned back to the door, and felt my jaw drop. Pinkie was there, wearing saddle bags full to bursting, but so was Big Macintosh. A cart was hitched up behind him, and it was bearing what looked like a sofa and an armchair, all roped down.

“Pinkie!” I gasped out. “Big Macintosh! What’s going on?”

“Surprise!” squealed Pinkie. “I invited Big Mac so he could help cart your new furniture as well!”

“My new...Pinkie, what are you-”

“Remember what we talked about the day I came back? I knew a pony who could hook you up with some second-hoof furniture, and here it is! It’s not too bad, should still be comfy.”

“You might wanna step away, Pinkie, Dave,” said Big Mac. “Ah don’t want y’all gettin’ hit.”

“Okie dokie lokie!”

“Er, ok.”

All I could do was step away as Big Mac began sliding the pieces of furniture in through the door, steadily and with amazing strength.

“Anywhere particular you want these, Dave?” he asked, as he began pushing in the sofa.

“Uh, no, not really. I’ll let you be the judge.”

“Eeyup.”

As Big Mac worked, I turned to Pinkie.

“Pinkie, I can’t believe this!”

“Don’t you like them?” she asked, in what sounded like a hurt tone. “Are they the wrong color?”

“No, no, Pinkie, they’re great. They’re fantastic. I just can’t believe you’d actually do this for me. When you told me about that idea of yours, I kinda thought you were just making idle talk. How can I possibly repay you for something like this?”

“You don’t have to, silly billy. Consider this a ‘Housewarming-Welcome-Slumber Party’ Combo Pack, three parties for the price of one!”

Welcome? Ohh, she must have meant for Moonlight! How nice!

“Is that a deal you normally dish out?” I asked, smiling.

“Only for my best of friends!” said Pinkie, rearing up and nuzzling her cheek against mine.

“How’s that, Dave?” asked Big Mac.

I looked up, and was amazed to see what a great job he’d done. Along with the sofa and armchair, both a nice green, there was also a coffee table, a lamp, and a circular rug. Everything had an aged, slightly faded look to them, but still appeared in good condition. Lyra was admiring it all with boggled eyes.

“It’s perfect,” I said. “Thanks, Big Mac, and you too, Pinkie.”

“Eeyup,” said Big Mac, with a smile.

“You’re welcome, Davie,” said Pinkie. “Now, are we ready to get this party started?”

“Well, everypony's here, so I suppose so.”

“Good, cuz it’s time.”

“Time for what?” I asked.

By way of answer, Pinkie skipped out the door, and returned wheeling in her party cannon.

“Oh boy,” I muttered, grimly anticipating what was about to go down.

“Duck and cover, everypony!” said Pinkie, gleefully.

She didn’t need to ask twice. All of us got down, covering our ears, and I saw Pinkie push the trigger of her cannon. There was a blast that sounded like a mix between a gunshot and a party horn, and I saw a burst of streamers and confetti explode from the muzzle. When I looked up, it was to see the living room festooned with streamers and balloons, including a covering for the new coffee table. I couldn’t believe my eyes.

“Pinkie, that was amazing! How does it do that?”

“Can’t tell you that, silly! What goes into the party cannon stays in the party cannon. At least until it’s party time!”

She giggled at her own joke.

“Oh, goodness! What wonderful decorations!”

Everypony looked around at the voice. Moonlight had come into the living room, goggling at the decorations.

“Ah, there she is!” said Pinkie.

“Who?” asked Rainbow.

“Everypony,” I said, addressing the others, “this is Moonlight, my neighbor. Moonlight, this is Rainbow Dash, Big Macintosh, and Lyra Heartstrings.”

“Hey there!”

“Howdy.”

“Glad to meet ya!”

“Hello, everypony,” said Moonlight, shyly. “It’s very nice of you to want to have me.”

“Hang on,” said Rainbow, “if you’re a pegasus, how come I’ve never seen you in Cloudsdale?”

“Oh, um, well,” said Moonlight, shyly, “I don’t remember ever living in Cloudsdale. I’ve always felt at home on the ground. I’m not much of a flier.”

Rainbow’s friendly smile faded, to be replaced with an odd look, as if she were trying to comprehend something.

“Hey, Dave, can I talk to ya in private for a moment?” she asked.

“Huh? Uh, sure, I guess. Big Mac, ladies, excuse me for a sec.”

I followed Rainbow into the kitchen, closing the door behind me. Thankfully, there wasn’t a window to the rest of the house in there. As soon as we were alone, Rainbow rounded on me.

“What’s going on here? Who is that mare?”

Her tone confused me. She didn’t sound angry or indignant, but curious and almost anticipatory.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“What do I mean? She could totally pass for Fluttershy! I’d say she was her sister, but she's only got a brother.”

“Is there something wrong about Moonlight?”

“Wrong? Of course not. I just think it’s a little weird there’s two pegasi who live on the ground and are both really shy. You don’t see that a lot in Cloudsdale”

“I suppose that might be an odd coincidence for pegasi. Would you know her from somewhere?”

“I doubt it. She looks younger than me, and I don’t remember any ‘Moonlight’ back in flight camp.”

“Well, I have no idea who she is. She’s not very forward with talking about herself. All I know is she hates thunder and loves Daring Do.”

“Hates thunder? Definitely not a Cloudsdale pegasus, then.”

Thankfully, she didn’t say this with any level of disgust or disdain, which might have hurt Moonlight’s feelings if she’d heard. Then, all at once, Rainbow perked up again.

“Hang on, she loves Daring Do?”

“Yeah. When I first met her, we spent the day reading The Cloudcrown Tower.”

“Oh, sweet!” said Rainbow, her rose-colored pupils expanding, and her wings fluttering briefly. “That’s one of my faves! She and I might get along just fine, then.” 

“That’s good to hear,” I said, relieved. “If you ask me, the poor girl could use some friends.”

“How are you getting along, by the way?”

“Great. I just finished The Basilisk’s Eye.”

“Ooh, awesome! I’m almost done with Legend of the Earthwing. I’ll drop it off here once I finish.”

“Sounds good!”

“Hey, what’s the hold up in there?” called Lyra through the door.

“Nothing, Lyra!” I called. “Rainbow and I were just, uh, taking a look at the pizzas! Anypony hungry yet?”

“You betcha!”

“Eeyup.”

“Yay! Pizza!”

“Sounds lovely.”

“Well, Miss Dash,” I said, cracking my knuckles, “what say we get this party started?”

“You bet!”


***


Besides the pizzas (a couple being plain cheese while others had assorted veggie or flower toppings (I avoided those)), Rainbow Dash had also brought several 2-liter bottles of soda, potato chips, and chip dip. I had taken care to hide away my bulk candy, in case those got discovered and rifled into. The pizza was excellent, with great cheese and a soft crust (my favorite). However, it reminded me forcibly of pizza places I had left behind in the human world. Still, it wasn’t a bad substitution. The bigger eaters, like Pinkie and Lyra, practically inhaled their slices, while Moonlight took dainty little nibbles. It was both funny and cute to observe.

Of course, it couldn’t have been a party with Pinkie and Rainbow without a few party pranks. The next seat I took after the pizza doled out, I found myself giving unexpected vent to a loud, disgusting burst of flatulence which set everypony laughing. Somepony had set a whoopie cushion on my chair before I’d even had a chance to notice; that took skill. Of course, finding out who had done it was less of a chore, because the perpetrator had labelled it ‘Property of P.P.” When I had declared this (spelling out the acronym as well), this set about another bout of laughter. Of course.

I wasn’t the only one at the receiving end of a prank, though, but the first of these was for good reason. Rainbow had spiked the chip dip with something spicy (I was not a dip person), and when Big Macintosh took a taste, he practically had flames spewing from his mouth. It took a splash of cola to put out the fire, but he seemed none the worse for wear. Lyra, for her part, got a pretty big scare when a balloon Pinkie handed to her inexplicably popped, raining tiny rubber spiders on her. How Pinkie had gotten those in there was beyond me. Even Moonlight wasn’t safe. Rainbow held out a flower for her to sniff, which squirted water in her face. At first, I was worried she would start crying, but was relieved to see her laugh it off with everypony else.

Pinkie had brought various games in her saddlebags, including what looked like Battleship with clouds and birds as the ‘ships’. Rainbow Dash proved utterly unbeatable in this game. My first time playing, she beat me in one fell swoop: raining on my cumulus, finding my seagull, zapping my weather-pony, and stinging my bumblebee (all of which were the proper phrases to use in the game). To everypony’s surprise, it was Moonlight who proved an even match for Rainbow Dash. The two fought it out furiously until they were down to one cloud apiece. Unfortunately, Rainbow came out on top, but she played the good sport and congratulated Moonlight for giving her a good competition. Moonlight looked both pleased and embarrassed to receive such praise.

Pinkie had also brought a ponified version of Twister (the game, not the movie, thank goodness), and that turned out to be a blast. I wasn’t very flexible, so I took the role of the ‘spinner judge’ while the mares played. It also gave me the perfect pretext to test out my new armchair. The instant I set my butt on the cushion, I knew it was a match made in heaven. For being an old chair, it was really comfortable. Big Mac had sat down beside the chair, watching the game progress.

“Are you having fun, Big Mac?” I asked. “Or is this getting boring?”

“Naw, Dave, Ah’m havin’ a swell time,” said Big Mac. “Ah’m just not much for games like this.”

“Yeah, me neither. I never was that flexible. I hated gym class.”

“Next one, Dave?” called Rainbow.

“Oh! Sorry about that. Right front hoof blue!” I said.

The game had been going for some time, and the mares were twisted this way and that in positions that were frankly hard to look at. For somepony who had a job taste-testing candy all day, Lyra was surprisingly dextrous; she had managed to bend herself into an arc over Pinkie, who had her hooves crisscrossed. Moonlight had it much easier, having a whole portion of the mat to herself. Rainbow was in the worst of it, for not only was Lyra keeping her in a low crouch, but Pinkie’s flank was right against her left cheek.

“Get your rump out of my face, Pinkie,” she snapped.

“Sorry, sorry,” said Pinkie.

“I think my leg is falling asleep,” muttered Lyra.

“Which one?” I asked.

“All of them.”

“Uh-oh,” said Pinkie, suddenly.

“Pinkie, don’t you dare,” Rainbow snarled.

“No, it’s not that. My tail’s a twitcha-twitchin!”

Sure enough, Pinkie’s tail was going nuts, flapping like a windsock on a gusty day.

“Oh, come on, Pinkie,” said Rainbow, rolling her eyes. “What could possibly-”

But she was interrupted by Lyra’s giggles from above her. Pinkie’s twitching tail was tickling her side, and her face was reddening from the effort to keep from burst into guffaws.

“Uh-oh,” Big Mac and I muttered together.

“Oh, horse-apples,” Rainbow said, weakly.

Finally, Lyra lost her equilibrium. With a burst of laughter, she toppled, full-force, on top of both Rainbow and Pinkie. Moonlight, who had managed to avoid being in the midst, looked on in perplexity.

“I should have known,” said Pinkie. “It was a double twitch!”

“And what’s that supposed to mean?” Rainbow asked, grumpily.

“Lyra fell, then we fell!”

She burst into a bout of the giggles, which Lyra joined in, and even Big Mac and I started laughing. Rainbow, however, was not amused.


***


Later on, the girls got tired of Twister, and moved on to a game of Truth or Dare. Big Mac and I settled on a game of cards, in which Rainbow joined us. She told us (or, rather, bragged to us) that she had been ‘banned’ as a Truth or Dare player for too many dangerous dares, a fact she seemed quite proud of. We started with a game of Old Mare (essentially Old Maid), where I was even more baffled with how pony hooves worked; Big Mac and Rainbow were able to hold their cards up perfectly. Unfortunately, I was pretty bad at the game, and ended up with the Old Mare 3 times out of 5, something Rainbow found very amusing.

We next moved on to Appleloosa Hold ‘Em. We didn’t gamble any money, and had no poker chips to use, so we used potato chips instead. Once more, I found myself on the losing side. I was never a good hand at card games, and had even grown resentful when computers started telling me I couldn’t complete a hand of Solitaire, so the contest naturally went to Big Mac and Rainbow, who were bearing down on each other like a pair of dogs.

Losing early gave me a chance to half-listen to the Truth or Dare game as well. Pinkie and Lyra came up with the silliest dares for each other, like Lyra balancing on her horn, or Pinkie chugging an entire bottle of soda by herself. The two had even gotten into a bit of a ‘dare-off’ to see who could play the bongos on their belly the best. Lyra wasn’t quite as pudgy as Pinkie, though, so the latter won that silly debacle. 

Moonlight wasn’t having much luck either way. She didn’t seem to want to take part in a dare, but whenever she picked ‘truth’, she never had anything to say. Whatever was asked of her, she acted like she honestly couldn’t think of anything to say, not even ‘what was the silliest thing you ever did’ or ‘did you ever have a crush on anypony’. Whether it was nerves or some other reason, I couldn’t say, but it was a little disconcerting. Thankfully, though, Pinkie and Lyra were very patient with her.

In the midst of it, the girls were talking excitedly about Nightmare Night. Lyra and Pinkie were going on about how each had the ‘perfect’ costume this year, but refusing to reveal what they were gonna go as. Moonlight didn’t add anything to that part of the conversation, making me wonder if she planned to attend at all.

“That’s how it’s gonna be, huh?” asked Rainbow.

“Eeyup.”

I turned back to the card players. Both had just gone all in with their chips, and Rainbow laid down her hand. Er, hoof.

“Two pair. Read ‘em and weep, Big Mac,” she said, confidently.

“Not so fast, Rainbow,” said Big Mac, and he laid down his own hoof.

Three of a kind.

“Nuts,” Rainbow muttered, as Big Mac raked in the chips.

“Close game, though,” I said, hoping this might alleviate her temper.

“Heh, yeah, I guess so,” Rainbow conceded.

‘So, what do you guys want to do now?” I asked.

I checked my watch. It was almost 11.

“I’ve got the perfect thing to close out the evening,” said Rainbow, in a devious voice. “Who’s up for a scary story?”

“Ooh! Me! Me!” Pinkie said, energetically.

Moonlight looked absolutely terrified at the idea. Lyra put a foreleg around her.

“Don’t worry, Moonlight. We’re here to protect ya. No ooga-booga ghostie that Rainbow dreams up is gonna hurt you.”

Moonlight’s panic faded slightly, and she looked comforted by Lyra’s words.

“So you think my stories are make-believe, huh?” asked Rainbow, hovering and placing her hooves on her hips. “Well, just wait until you hear this one. Somepony kill the lights and grab a lantern.”

Half-dreading what was about to go down, I went to turn off the lights while Pinkie set down a small lantern full of a greenish glow. When I came back, I saw that it was honest-to-goodness firefly light. I settled myself between Pinkie and Lyra, and Rainbow took a seat in the center of us all.

“These are some nice woods we have around here,” said Rainbow, casually. “You picked a great spot to live, Dave.”

“Uh, thanks.”

“But that all changes when Nightmare Night comes around,” Rainbow continued, her sinister tones returning. “Because then, the woods become the haunting grounds of...” She paused for dramatic effect. “...the Shadow Stallion!”

She had crouched low over the glare of the lantern and began waving her forelegs like a horse rearing. In the shadows cast on the wall, she had the distinct appearance of an actual rearing horse, but with elongated limbs, giving it a ghastly appearance. That was just creepy.

“The Shadow Stallion gallops far and wide, looking for little lost ponies, especially those who wander too close to his trail...”

She leaned forward over the lantern, the flickering light casting eerie shadows on her face. Moonlight whimpered and hid her face in Lyra’s side. Pinkie nestled up beside me, her usual big smile gone. I couldn’t even see Big Macintosh.

“It was a dark and gloomy night,” Rainbow went on, “and four little ponies went for a walk in the woods, not knowing that the Stallion was on the prowl...”


***


“...She ran as fast as her legs could go. ‘I’m gonna make it’, she panted, ‘I have to make it! The town has to know about that monster!’ There, up ahead, was the edge of the wood. She was almost there!”

Rainbow’s story had been lengthy and exceedingly chilling. Moonlight was shivering, eyes wide, in Lyra’s forelegs, the green unicorn’s teeth chattering like castanets, while Pinkie and I were keeping a tight grip on each other, my heart hammering inside my rib cage. All of us were dying to know how the story was going to end, but dreading what was going to come.

That was far from the least of it, however. Unbeknownst to Rainbow, as she neared the end, something began rising up behind her, something huge, something with forelimbs raised right above her head. All of us gasped.

“R-R-Rainbow D-Dash!” I gasped out.

“Not now, Dave, this is the good part,” said Rainbow, still not aware of the danger she was in. “She was too late, because there, waiting for her, ready to drag her away into the netherworld, was...”

“THE SHADOW STALLION!!” Pinkie squealed, pointing behind Rainbow.

Surprised, Rainbow whipped around and saw the huge shadow looming over her, now letting loose a monstrous cackle. Rainbow let out a scream and zipped away to hide under the couch, while the rest of us cowered from the form still hovering over us.

“B-Begone, evil one!” I spluttered, making a ‘cross’ out of my index fingers. “Go back to the darkness from where you were spawned!”

Suddenly, the lights flicked on (Lyra and her magic, most likely), and the ‘Shadow Stallion’ was none other than-

“Big Macintosh?!”

“Gotcha!” chuckled Big Mac.

“I was wondering where you’d gone to,” I breathed, very much relieved that it wasn’t the real Shadow Stallion, come to eat our souls.

“You really got us,” said Lyra. Moonlight was still shivering, but not as badly as before.

“You were super-duper-scary, Big Mac!” said Pinkie. “You even scared Dashie!”

We all turned to see Rainbow’s rump sticking out from beneath the couch. At these words, however, she wormed her way out.

“Did not!” she snapped. “I just, uh, remembered I lost something under the couch.”

“And did ya find it?” asked Big Mac, raising an amused eyebrow.

“Er, no. Must have left it somewhere else.”

“Sure, Rainbow, we believe you,” said Lyra, in a playful tone.

“That was still one heck of a story, though,” I said. “I felt like I was gonna soil myself ever since the first pony disappeared.”

“Heh, thanks,” said Rainbow, looking like her old self again. She then stretched her forelegs and wings, which cracked noisily, and yawned. “Well, I dunno about the rest of you, but I am beat. Time for me to hit the sack.”

“I’m bushed, too,” said Lyra, stretching on her part.

“Well, if you all brought sleeping bags,” I said, “feel free to camp out where you please.”

“Much obliged,” said Big Mac, gathering up his immense sleeping bag. “G’night, y’all, and thanks fer havin’ me.”

“It was my pleasure, Big Mac. Good night!”

Big Macintosh began setting up his bag while Pinkie stretched and yawned like a cat.

“What, you get tired, too?” I asked, jokingly.

“Of course I do,” said Pinkie. “When I party hearty, I get really party-pooped.”

“Good to know,” I said, flatly. 

“Thanks for the great party, Dave,” said Rainbow, spreading her bag out on the floor.

“Thank you for bringing the snacks and yourself, Rainbow. Like you said, the two best things to bring to a party besides Pinkie.”

“Aww, you really said that, Dashie?” asked Pinkie, beaming. “That’s so sweet of you!”

“Yeah, well, what can I say, I’m a sweet-talker,” said Rainbow, as she nestled herself inside her bag. “Night, everypony.”

“Good night!”

Rainbow inserted a pair of corks in her ears (ear plugs, most likely), and settled down to sleep. I turned to Moonlight.

“Are you gonna be ok?” I asked, gently.

“Uh-huh,” she said. She was no longer shivering, and had allowed Lyra to let go of her. “I’ll be all right.”

“Ok, because we’ll all be at hand, er, hoof, if something’s bothering you.”

“Thank you, Dave. It was very kind of you to have me here.”

“You’re welcome, Moonlight. We were glad to have you, right, girls?”

“You bet!” said Lyra.

“Yeppy-deppy!” said Pinkie.

Getting up myself and stretching, I ambled off to get ready for bed while the girls got their bags ready.


***


I returned to the living room, teeth brushed and in my pajamas, intending to spend the night on my new couch. With that in mind, I grabbed my bed’s comforter and pillow and set myself up upon it. Lyra and Moonlight were already sound asleep in their bags, but I couldn’t see any sign of Pinkie. Reasoning that she was probably in the bathroom, I clicked off the light and settled down to rest.

It didn’t last long, unfortunately. I suddenly felt something heavy clamber on top of me. In the dim light, I could just barely make out the form of Pinkie, wearing a little nightcap over her messy mane.

“Pinkie, what are you doing?” I asked.

“I did it,” Pinkie muttered, drowsily.

“Huh?”

“I did what nopony ever dared before,” she continued, sleepily. “I have scaled the mighty Mount Marshmallow! I claim this mountain in the name of Pinkie Pie!”

Was she serious?

Then, without any further prelude, she flopped her head down and started snoring.

“Aw, Pinkie, come on,” I groaned. “Get off.”

I tried to push her off, but she wouldn’t budge.

“Oh, for Pete’s...All right, stay there, you crazy pony. ‘Mount Marshmallow’. Good gravy.”

I settled back down to sleep. In all honesty, in spite of my grumblings, it was kind of comforting, having Pinkie snoozing right at my side, like a faithful dog. I couldn’t stay mad at her. Before I truly drifted off, I reached up and patted her mane.

“Good night, Pinkie,” I whispered, then flopped down onto my pillow.
> Trixie's Revenge
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I awoke to the smell of cotton candy right in my nostrils. Blearily, I looked about to see that Pinkie had shifted in her sleep so that she was resting against my shoulder. I was about to think what a cute gesture it was, before I noticed that she was drooling on me.

“Ugh, Pinkie! Gross!”

I pushed her so that she faced the other side. She didn’t stir at all and kept right on snoozing. Looking at my watch, I saw that it was 6:45 in the morning. Inwardly blaming Pinkie for making me get up so early, I got up and went to the bathroom to wipe off the pony drool, Pinkie settling down to occupy the whole couch.

I had just wiped myself dry, when there came a knock at the door.

“Who can that be?” I asked myself. “Little early for the mail, isn’t it?”

Taking care not to awaken anypony, I crept to the front door and opened it. When I saw who it was, I had to clap a hand over my mouth to keep from shouting.

Trixie was standing at the door, garbed in her cloak and hat, and looking hale and hearty.

She was about to speak when I held up a hand to stop her. I stepped outside and closed the door behind me. Hopefully, in their sleep, the others wouldn’t be able to hear, even through a shut door or closed windows.

“Trixie!” I finally said. “You’re back on your hooves!”

“Of course I am, Dave,” said Trixie, proudly. “As I said, nothing can keep the Great and Powerful Trixie down for long.”

“And your magical outbursts?”

“Completely neutralized. I hadn’t had a single burst all of yesterday, so I was discharged early. The doctor himself said it was a rare occurrence for such a case of Goronide Bolezn. Silly fellow. Does he not know that Trixie has always been extra-ordinary?”

She flipped her mane as she said this, true to form.

“I wished to see you, but it sounded like you were busy with a party of some sort. I didn’t wish to be seen by anypony else just yet, so I hoped to speak with you in the wee hours of the morn.”

“Good thinking,” I said. “Trixie, it’s really great seeing you all better again. I feel like I could-”

I was about to open my arms and hug her, but stopped short, awkwardly.

“Er, that is, I know you’re probably not the kind to-”

But Trixie smiled.

“Come, Dave, I’m a showpony. Do you really think I haven’t had foals come up to me after a show, wishing to hug the Great and Powerful Trixie? Do not be so abashed of the honor. To me, Dave, you’re both a fan and a friend.”

Now that sounded like a true Trixie-ism. Gratified, I enveloped her in a warm embrace, and felt her put her forelegs around me in turn.

“I wouldn’t even be my great and powerful self again if you hadn’t rushed me to the hospital,” I heard her say. “I thank you.”

“So, what’s next for you?” I asked, releasing her.

“Did you send my message to Twilight Sparkle?” she asked, sharply.

“Yes,” I said, a feeling of uneasiness creeping over me at her tone.

“Excellent. Then the time has come for me to see her again, and to set things straight once and for all.”

With that, she whisked back her cape, revealing, for the first time, a small black case that had been hidden behind her.

“What’s that?” I asked.

“Oh, just a little ‘gift’ for Twilight Sparkle, that’s all,” said Trixie, in a casual tone.

“Trixie, you’re not fooling me,” I said, sternly. “I may not be native to Equestria, but I’m not stupid.”

“I know you’re not, which is why I hoped you would understand.”

“Understand what?”

“What I must do. Twilight Sparkle humiliated me, tarnished my honor as a showpony and a unicorn. It is time I repay her in kind.”

“Trixie!”

“Do not say another word, Dave,” said Trixie, holding up a hoof. “You are too good a soul to become involved. I must go, if I wish to catch her at the right time.”

“But-but-”

“Adieu, Dave.”

Trixie reared up on her hind legs, and when she brought them down, there was a small explosion, followed by a puff of smoke. It didn’t last long, though and when it cleared, I could see her heading for Ponyville, the little black case held in her magic.

“Trixie!” I yelled, but she did not stop nor look back. 

“Argh!” 

I punched the outer wall of the house in frustration. I knew she was going to try something funny. There was no way she was going to let those events pass so easily. Whatever was in that case, it must mean big trouble for Twilight.

“Dave?”

I froze. The door opened, and Moonlight peeked out.

“What are you doing out here? Is everything ok?”

“Uh, yeah, yeah. I just thought I heard something and went to see what it was. It’s nothing, Moonlight. You can go back to sleep.”

“Are you sure? You look so flustered.”

“I’m fine, Moonlight, really. Don’t trouble yourself.”

While Moonlight still kept a confused eye on me, I went into the bedroom to get changed, shutting the door behind me. If I hurried, I could still beat Trixie and warn Twilight.

Finally, I was dressed in day clothes, and I stumbled out on one foot, still trying to get one of my shoes on.

“Listen, Moonlight,” I told the perplexed pegasus, “I’m just going for a morning jog. Tell the girls and Big Mac that, if they wake up before I return. Ok?”

“Ok,” said Moonlight, though she still looked perplexed.

“I’ll be back in a little while,” I assured her, then hurried out the door. 

Taking care to close it softly so as not to wake anypony else, I sprinted toward Ponyville.


***


There was no sign of Trixie as I dashed into the deserted main street of Ponyville. That wasn’t good, because that pony stood out like a sore thumb in that starry garb. There was nopony about, probably all still in bed. That changed when a familiar buzzing sound hit my ears, and Scootaloo came rolling up on her scooter. She was tossing newspapers this way and that from a bag slung at her side, but she rolled to a stop upon seeing me.

“Hey, Scootaloo,” I panted.

“Dave? What are you doing up so early?”

“Me? Well, actually, I’m looking for somepony. Have you seen-”

“Twilight Sparkle!”

Both of us jumped. Trixie’s voice, carrying over the silent morning air as if spoken through an intercom, came booming at us from all four corners, at least 10 times the volume of a normal speaking voice.

“What was that?” Scootaloo asked, startled.

“Nothing good, I can tell you that,” I muttered, and without another word, I made for the library, leaving a perplexed Scootaloo behind.

As I hurried, I could see and hear many ponies coming out of their homes and peering out their windows, startled by the sudden loud noise that hit the air.

“What’s going on?” I heard Rose ask, sleepily.

“I think I know that voice,” said Berry Punch.

“Some of us are trying to sleep here!” snapped Vinyl.

This comment earned her some dirty looks from her next-door neighbors, and from Octavia, who was beside her in the window.

“What?” she asked, innocently.

I skidded to a halt outside the library. There, sure enough, was Trixie, the box beside her. She was levitating an enormous megaphone, decorated with stars like her cloak, in front of her muzzle. When she spoke again, the force of her words shook the leaves on the great tree and made the ground shake beneath my feet. That thing could have given Vinyl’s Wub-Meister a run for its money.

“Twilight Sparkle! I know you are in there! It is I, the Great and Powerful Trixie, who hereby demands that you come down here and speak to her, face to face! We have a score to settle, and the Great and Powerful Trixie shall not wait any longer!”

By now, the awakened citizens had formed a crowd outside the library, a crowd I became integrated into.

“I knew it,” I heard Berry murmur. “It’s Trixie.”

“What’s she doing here?” came Caramel’s voice.

“How dare she show her face again,” said Golden Harvest.

“I thought she was ill,” said Minuette.

“Hasn’t anypony heard of beauty sleep?!” came Rarity’s angry voice, and she pushed herself to the front of the crowd. She was wearing wine-red pajamas that almost resembled a Japanese kimono.

“Dave, what on Earth is going on?” she asked. “What is this commotion?”

Wordlessly, I pointed Trixie out. Rarity gasped.

“Trixie?! But I thought she left Ponyville for good!”

Suddenly, the clamor stopped as the front door of the library opened. A tousle-haired Twilight stepped out, followed by Spike. Neither of them looked happy.

“Twilight Sparkle,” said Trixie, in a venomous tone. “Long has Trixie sought the day when we would meet again, face-to face.” She cast a scrutinizing eye over the unicorn and gave an amused scoff. “You’ve done little to mend your appearance since I last saw you. Have you gained weight?”

Twilight merely narrowed her eyes at Trixie’s taunt, but Spike took the other approach.

“Don’t you dare insult Twilight, you fraud!” he snarled. “You’re not welcome here!”

Trixie raised an eyebrow at Spike, then addressed Twilight.

“Call off your mutt, Twilight, lest he end up muzzled.”

“Mutt?!” growled Spike. “Why, you-!”

“Spike!” said Twilight, sharply. “It’s not worth it. Let me handle her. It’s me she wants.”

“But-”

“Yes, listen to your mistress, little dragon,” said Trixie. “Trixie’s only interested in her.”

Glaring daggers at her through his green eyes, Spike stepped back into the doorway as Twilight approached Trixie.

“You received Trixie’s little summons, then, Twilight Sparkle?” Trixie asked.

“Yes. Two of my friends told me you wanted to speak with me.”

“I do. We have much to discuss. For starters, it is high time you compensated Trixie for the ruination of her career and her life!”

“Compensate?” Twilight asked, bewildered. “What are you talking about?” 

“You made a fool of Trixie, Twilight! You made her out to be a fraud with that Ursa Minor!”

“But you were the one bragging that you defeated an Ursa Major!” Spike said from the door.

Twilight shot a swift glare at him that shut him up.

“Do not change the subject!” Trixie snapped. “The point is, ever since you stole Trixie's thunder, she has never had a moment’s peace again! Everywhere she went, she only found ridicule! The Great and Powerful Trixie had to make a living on a rock farm, for pony’s sake! Trixie’s come a long way to return to Ponyville, Twilight Sparkle, and the time has come to finally give you what you deserve!”

Twilight sighed.

“Is that all you came for, Trixie?” she asked, sadly. “To heap all the blame for your misfortunes upon me?”

“No, Twilight. Trixie has come to give you something as well, something that should help you see why nopony shall ever get away with making a fool of the Great and Powerful Trixie.”

With that, Trixie levitated the black case into the air.

(Don’t do it, Trixie, don’t do it.)

“Answer Trixie this, Twilight: what is purple, and blue, and red all over?”

“What?” asked Twilight.

The case clicked open.

Something flew with the speed of a bullet straight for Twilight.

Ponies gasped and covered their eyes,

*SPLAT!*

...What?

Was that-?

No way.

It was too ridiculous.

Where I had expected to see some kind of, I don’t know, diabolical weapon or ferocious animal injuring Twilight, there was instead a blueberry pie smashed into her face. Her coat and mane were splattered with purple-blue pie goo and crust.

“Ha-HA!” said Trixie, triumphantly. “Now do you see, Twilight Sparkle? Now you feel the humiliation that the Great and Powerful Trixie has had to endure!”

The pie tin fell away, leaving Twilight blinking in bemusement. She didn’t look angry or embarrassed, just really confused.

“Yes, let it sink in,” said Trixie. “Writhe in the agony of looking like a complete fool, and having to wash away all of that pie!”

I couldn’t believe this. Here I was, worrying that Trixie was going to pull something dangerous and potentially fatal as revenge, and what she settled on was a pie in the face?

I couldn’t help it. I burst into a fit of laughter over the absurdity of the situation, reaching such a pitch that Trixie noticed, but smiled at.

“Trixie’s vengeance is complete, Twilight Sparkle! Even your friends find you ridiculous now!”

Twilight looked from Trixie to me, as I kept on laughing, and I saw her finally smile herself.

“You know what, Trixie? You’re right,” she said. “I'm sorry for putting you through so much torment. Do you think we might be friends now?”

“Friends?” asked Trixie. “Trixie is not sure she is willing to go that far just yet, but she is willing to call a truce if you are.”

“Truce,” said Twilight.

“Now, if you will excuse Trixie, she has done what she has come here for.”

With a whirl of her cape, and another smoke bomb (that still didn’t last long enough to mask her exit), Trixie swept through the crowd, everypony still stunned at what had just happened. Finally, I managed to calm down enough to approach Twilight.

“You ok, Twi?”

“I’m fine, Dave, thanks. I must say, I wasn’t expecting that.”

“Me neither. I was scared for your life until she pulled that off.”

“Well, if that’s all it takes to satisfy her, that’s fine with me. Maybe now she’ll settle down like a normal pony.”

“If the towns-ponies don’t lynch her first.”

“Oh, I don’t think they will. After that, I think they’ll agree Trixie’s harmless.”

“Yeah, I suppose. Well, I’d better be off, Twi. I have some slumber party guests still asleep at home. The only reason I left was because I thought I saw Trixie heading for town with that case and got worried.”

“All right, then. You have a good day, Dave.”

“You too.”

I turned and made my way through the crowd as Twilight headed back inside. Rarity muttered something about going back to bed, though she still bade me a good day as we parted. As for me, I wanted another audience with Trixie.


***


I caught up with the showpony at the edge of the woods where she had taken up residence. I traced her until we reached her caravan, then spoke up.

“Trixie.”

Trixie stopped and whipped around. She had a jubilant smile on her face.

“Dave! What good fortune. Have you come to share in my victory with me?”

“Well, not exactly. I just wanted to ask what you plan to do now. Now that everypony knows you’re back, are you going to keep hiding in the woods?”

“Not for long. I’ll wait a bit and then move my caravan to a more desirable location. It’ll give the town time to wash down the shock of seeing their great Twilight Sparkle humbled before my hooves.”

“Oh, yeah, you really showed her,” I said, playing along.

“Was there ever any doubt?” asked Trixie, proudly. “Well, I must go. I’m still rather weary from being up this early, but what’s done is finally done. Until next time, Dave.”

“Bye, Trixie.”

I turned away and made back for home, hearing Trixie’s caravan door shut behind her. I had a feeling things were going to be better after what happened this morning, especially for Trixie.


***


It was 7:30 by the time I came back to the house. Nopony inside had heard Trixie’s announcement, being so far away and such heavy sleepers. Rainbow Dash and Big Mac were still snoring loud enough to rattle the window panes, and Pinkie was still where I’d left her on the couch. Lyra was muttering something in her sleep, something that sounded like ‘no more for me, I’m full’. Moonlight’s bag, however, was empty.

That mystery was solved by a clatter from the kitchen. Puzzled, I went to investigate and saw, to my surprise, the sweet pegasus bustling about, making toast, eggs, and setting out glasses of orange juice. She looked up as I entered.

“Hello!” she said. “I wanted to surprise you and everypony else. I made breakfast.”

“Aw, Moonlight, you didn’t have to do that. I could have. You’re my guest.”

“I know, but I thought you’d be tired after your jog.”

“My huh? Oh, right! My jog. Well, this was very sweet of you.”

Moonlight smiled kindly.

From inside the living room came a loud yawn.

“Do I smell eggs?” came Rainbow’s voice.

I heard Big Mac groan as he got up.

“Hoo boy. Ah ain’t used to sleepin’ so late.”

It was Lyra’s turn to give off an obnoxious yawn.

“Aw, look. Pinkie stole Dave’s bed,” she said.

I stepped out of the kitchen to take a look at what was going on. Rainbow was trying to shake Pinkie awake.

“Get up, Pinks, come on,” she said, prodding Pinkie in the stomach with her hoof.

Pinkie snorted, curling up to shield her belly.

“Ok, sleep the day away,” said Rainbow, in an ‘oh well’ tone, “but you’re gonna miss breakfast.”

Pinkie’s ear twitched, and her eyes fluttered open. She yawned and stretched.

“Ooh, wowie-wow, did I sleep good last night! I had the greatest dream! I dreamt that the evil veggie pirates were trying to take away all the sugar in Ponyville, but I stepped in with my brave Candy Cavaliers to beat them off!”

“Man, I wish my dreams were as entertaining as yours, Pinkie,” said Lyra.

Pinkie looked about and noticed where she was.

“Huh? How did I get here? I could have sworn I was in my sleeping bag.”

Pinkie Pie questioning her own craziness? What sorcery was this?

“Morning, all,” I said, coming in.

“Morning, Dave!” said Rainbow.

“Hi, Davie!” said Pinkie.

“Is that breakfast Ah smell?” asked Big Mac.

“Yep, courtesy of Moonlight.”

At that moment, Moonlight appeared, setting plates of eggs and toast on the dining room table.

“Wow!” said Lyra. “Moonlight, that was really nice of you!”

“It’s my way of saying thank you for having me,” said Moonlight, sweetly.

“Aww, come here, you little sweetie-pie!” said Pinkie, and without warning, she bounded over to Moonlight and grabbed her up in a tight hug, squeezing her so tight that her pale cheeks began to turn red.

“Help,” she gasped out.

“Wish we could, Moonlight,” said Rainbow, “but once Pinkie starts a hug, the only way to get out is when she feels like it.”

Sure enough, Pinkie gave Moonlight one more squeeze, then released her.

“Ok, I’m done!” she said, then sat herself down at the table, where she was soon joined by the others and myself. As Moonlight finally sat herself down, I raised my glass of orange juice.

“Everypony, let me be the first to say that I declare this party a success.”

“Hear, hear!” they chorused, and we all clinked our glasses together before starting on breakfast. The subject of Trixie was never brought up or discovered over the meal, which I was grateful for. I thought it better that they find out for themselves rather than know I had snuck out to track her.

After breakfast was over, the games were packed up, the remaining party food was packed away (Rainbow insisted that I keep the leftovers, except for the pizzas that weren’t plain cheese. I let those be taken, gladly), and the guests headed their separate ways, all thanking me for a great party.

“I ain’t had that much fun since Pinkie Pie’s last party,” said Big Mac.

“I know, right?” asked Pinkie. “See ya later, Davie and Moonlight!”

“Thanks a bunch, dude!” said Rainbow. “And great meeting ya, Moonlight!”

“We should totally do this again sometime!” said Lyra.

It was just me and Moonlight left now, and I turned to her.

“Thanks, Moonlight. You really helped make this possible. I hope you had a great time.”

“I did,” said Moonlight. “Your friends are all so wonderful.”

“I was trying to do what Pinkie did for me,” I said. “When I first came here, alone and friendless, Pinkie picked me up and introduced me to everypony here. I hoped to be able to do the same for you, Moonlight.”

Moonlight beamed, a glimmer of a tear in her eye. She fluttered up and threw her forelegs around me. I hugged her carefully, in case Pinkie’s bear hug had left her tender.

“Thank you,” she whispered.

“You’re very welcome,” I said. “Come over anytime.”

“I will. I promise.”

We let go of each other, and I watched Moonlight off to her house, right up to when she closed the door. It warmed my heart to see her warming up to the company I kept. It might help her want to come out more often and enjoy what Ponyville had to offer.

“Morning, Dave!”

I turned around. Derpy was standing beside me, a package grasped in her teeth.

“Hi, Derpy! Is that for me?”

“Uh-huh!”

She placed it in my hands.

“From Rarity! I was passing by the Boutique, and she asked if I could hand this off to you.”

“Awesome! Thanks, Derpy.”

“You’re welcome. Have a good day!”

“You too.”

Derpy fluttered off to continue her rounds as I headed back inside. I opened the package rather hurriedly, and found a note and a carefully-folded pile of clothes. Picking them up gingerly, I found them to be a long, brown-plaid jacket, matching brown trousers, and a deerstalker cap. Underneath that was a black clay pipe and a bottle of bubble soap.

“Rarity, you are a marvel!” I said, ecstatically.

I had no idea she’d have been able to get it ready so quickly. That unicorn was a genius! I picked up the note, which read,

“Dave,
Here is your Sherlock Pones costume. I’m quite pleased with the results, and I’m sure you will be too! It’s just in time, as well, with the Nightmare Night festival tomorrow.
The game is ahoof!
-Rarity”

Wait a minute.

Tomorrow?

Nightmare Night was tomorrow?

I knew it was approaching, but not this quickly!

After the initial shock, I muttered to myself,

“That’s it. Next time I go shopping, I’m buying an Equestrian calendar.”
> Nightmare Night
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I had never seen Ponyville as alive with activity as it was the following morning. The streets were packed with ponies setting up stands, hanging black and orange banners, setting up black flags. Last-minute sales on candy were afoot at Bon Bon’s, and a stage was being set up in the town square, the mayor overlooking the process. Nopony was in costume yet, probably saving it for that evening. 

All throughout, there was a kind of excited energy, a pent-up jubilance, almost palpable. It made me wonder if it was some form of Equestrian magic I had never seen before. It seemed to be infecting me as well. Even if I didn’t know everything I wanted to about Nightmare Night, this was going to turn out to be one heck of a night. I expressed such to Moonlight when I saw her that day.

“It’s gonna be big, Moonlight,” I told her, “I can feel it. We’re gonna have a blast tonight!”

At this, Moonlight’s smile faded a little.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to come,” she said, softly. “I don’t have a costume for Nightmare Night.”

“No?”

“It’s all right. I never really had a chance to prepare, since I never leave the house.”

“Oh, Moonlight.”

I felt terrible. Moonlight didn’t deserve to miss out on something that was going to be so monumental. There had to be something I could do.

Finally, after casting my mind about, I hit upon something that just might work.

“Moonlight, wait here,” I said, and without waiting for an answer, I dashed back toward Ponyville.


***


When I got to Carousel Boutique, I wondered if it had been closed early. Nopony seemed to be around, and all was quiet.

“Rarity?” I called.

No answer.

“Hello?”

Still no answer, except for a disgruntled meowing down below. Looking down, I spotted Opalescence, Rarity’s cat.

“Oh, hello,” I said, stiffly. “Is your mama in?”

Opal merely gave a flick of her tail and sauntered off.

“Sourpuss,” I muttered, and went in to look for the fashionista.

Thankfully, it didn’t take long for me to locate her. She was in her workroom, cheek resting on her forelegs, sound asleep. Her mane was in disarray, and her work glasses were still sitting on her nose. For somepony so refined and dignified, she looked cute asleep.

“Rarity?” I whispered, giving her shoulder a shake.

“Mmm...You dance divinely, really, you do.”

“Rarity?” I said, a little louder, and shaking her a little harder.

“Whuh? Huh?”

Rarity sat up with a start, turning around to spot me.

“Oh! Darling, it’s you. How are you?”

“Pretty good, you?”

“Fine, thank you. A little tired, perhaps, but I feel accomplished. Everypony’s costume has been made and sent on time, as was yours, I expect?”

“Yes, Derpy handed it to me yesterday. It was perfect.”

“Splendid! You’re going to look so dashing tonight!”

“Heh, you think so? Actually, there’s something I wanted to ask.”

“Yes?”

“I have a friend who wasn’t able to get a costume herself. Do you happen to have anything like a Daring Do outfit?”

“A Daring Do outfit? But of course! You’d have no idea how popular that costume gets. Rainbow Dash actually asked for one, but as soon as it was done, she said she wanted to be something else.” She tutted indignantly. “Can you imagine the nerve?”

“Some ponies,” I said, sympathetically.

She flared up her horn, and a wardrobe opened, showing several shirts, dresses, and hats lined up neatly. A small khaki shirt and a pith helmet were levitated down and set neatly into a circular box, over which the lid fitted snugly.

“And there we have it!” said Rarity, proudly. “Your friend should be very happy.”

“Great! How much? And please, Rarity, I want to,” I added, for I saw her open her mouth. “It just feels right when I know I got it with my own money.”

Rarity smiled gently.

“Of course, Dave, I understand. Shall we say, 12 bits?”

“For the whole ensemble? All right, then.”

I dug around in my pocket and laid out 12 gold bits. Rarity then placed the box in my hands.

“Thanks,” I said.

“You’re welcome, dear. If it doesn’t fit, just send your friend down to the boutique, and I’ll resize it accordingly.” 

“Great! I will.”

“Now, I hate to be a pest, but I really must start getting ready myself.”

“Of course. Good day, milady.”

With a gracious bow, I left her presence.


***


Moonlight was still waiting where I’d left her when I returned, out of breath from having run all the way back.

“Here...you go...Moonlight,” I panted, handing her the box. She looked very much surprised.

“What is it?” she asked.

“A costume...for Nightmare Night...I think you’ll...like it,” I panted.

Setting the box down, she opened the lid, and gasped. She took up the pith helmet and held it up. She looked up at me with an excited expression. Setting it back down, she flew up and threw her forelegs around my neck.

“Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!” she gushed. “It’s perfect, absolutely perfect!”

She released me almost as quickly as she had latched on and picked up the box again.

“This was so nice of you. You really didn’t have to-”

“I wanted to, Moonlight,” I said. “You’re too sweet a pony to be home alone on a holiday.”

Beaming from ear to ear, Moonlight flapped over to her door.

“I’ll see you tonight, then,” she said.

“As I will you,” I replied, and both of us went into our respective houses to get ready.


***


“Ok, let’s see...Coat: check. Hat: check. Trousers: check. Pipe: check. Candy bag: check. Candy bowl: check. Note for the foals who pass by: check. I am good to go!”

It was now night time, and I was fully clothed in my Sherlock Pones outfit. I had to exercise great restraint in not wasting the entire bottle of bubble soap, but it made me feel a little giddy to finally be able to use a real soap bubble pipe. I had put as much of the bulk candy I had bought as I could into the biggest bowl I had, and pinned a note to it saying,

“Help yourselves to a piece or two.
Happy Nightmare Night!
-Dave”

Suddenly, there came a knock at the door. With the bowl of candy in my hands, I opened the door to be greeted by a chorus of familiar voices in singsong.

“Nightmare Night! What a fright! Give us something sweet to bite!”

Sure enough, it was the Crusaders, all dolled up in their costumes and wearing little trick-or-treat bags around their necks. I even recognized what they were supposed to be. Those plumed hats, those capes, those little fake swords at their sides...they were the Musketeers! The question was, with no clear leader, who was Athos, who was Porthos, who was Aramis, and who was D’Artagnan?

“Hey, girls! Great costumes!”

“Thanks, Dave!” said Sweetie Belle. “Twilight said they would be perfect, because the Muskedeers were kinda like Crusaders too!”

(Muskedeers? Oh, come on.)

“We wanted to try and go as a human, like you,” said Apple Bloom.

“But we’d have to stand on each other’s shoulders to be tall enough,” said Scootaloo.

“And they kept puttin’ me on the bottom,” said Apple Bloom, pointedly.

“Cuz you’re the strongest!” argued Scootaloo. “We talked about this!”

“Ah ain’t strong enough to hold three fillies on mah shoulders,” said Apple Bloom.

“You might have if Dinky would have stopped squirming on top,” said Sweetie Belle.

“I couldn’t help it,” said Dinky, shrugging. “It was fun being up so high.”

“Ok, kids, ok,” said a voice from behind, “let’s not fight.”

I looked up and saw Sparkler standing over the four fillies. How had I missed her before? She was wearing a glittering, pale blue dress and a tiara with a centerpiece jewel that looked oddly like a muffin.

“Oh! Hi, Sparkler! Happy Nightmare Night!”

“Happy Nightmare Night, Dave,” said Sparkler, with a smile. “You look great!”

“Thanks! So do you. Er, what exactly are you supposed to be, if I might ask?”

Sparkler drew herself up with a dignified air and said, in a haughty voice.

“I am the Princess of Muffins, heir to the throne of Muffintopia.”

It must have been really rude of me, but I couldn’t hold back a snicker at that. Sparkler didn’t look abashed, however, just a little embarrassed.

“I know, it’s silly, but it was Mom’s idea. She’s going as the Queen of Muffins.”

“That’ll be a sight, I’m sure,” I said.

“But I think you and Mama look pretty,” said Dinky.

“Well, thank you, Dinky,” said Sparkler, sweetly.

“Well, then, kids,” I said to the Crusaders, “how about some candy?”

“Yeah!” they cheered.

I picked around and placed a piece of chocolate and a piece of taffy into each of their little bags.

“Thanks, Dave!” they said together.

“Why do you tarry, my subjects?” came a majestic voice. “There is more candy to be had!”

I looked up, and had to fight back the impulse to laugh. Derpy had floated over on her wings, wearing a dress much like Sparkler’s, but with a crown instead of a tiara, and a muffin brooch.

“Good evening, Sir Dave,” she said, spying me. “Admirable costume.”

“Why, thank you, Your Majesty,” I said, still trying to keep a straight face. “Same to you.”

“Come, Princess, children. Ponyville waits for no pony!”

And without waiting for them, she flew off toward Ponyville, looking more like a fairy godmother than a queen.

“Let’s away, fellow Muskedeers,” said Sweetie Belle. “There’s more candy to be gotten!”

With something like a battle cry, the four scampered off toward Ponyville.

“Don’t run in the dark!” called Sparkler. “You might trip!”

She sighed and shook her head.

“Foals,” she said. “What can you do? Are you coming to the festival?”

“Definitely. I just need to pick up a friend of mine and we’ll be there.”

“All right. I need to round up the girls anyway. See you there!”

Sparkler went after the Crusaders as I set up the bowl by the door, using a bit of log I’d borrowed from Applejack when I came up with the idea. Making sure the house was secure, I went to Moonlight’s and knocked on her door.

“You ready, Moonlight?”

“Just about! I’ll be right there!”

A few moments later, the door opened, and out came Moonlight, wearing her new khaki shirt and pith helmet. She smiled shyly.

“Moonlight, you look almost like the real deal,” I said, approvingly.

“Oh, stop, you flatterer,” she said, her cheeks reddening. “I’m nowhere near as brave as Daring.”

“Hey, neither am I,” I said, reasonably. “I’m nowhere near as smart as Sherlock.”

I blew a couple of bubbles to punctuate, and Moonlight giggled.

“So, you ready to head to the festival?”

“I am, but aren’t you handing out candy?”

“I set up a bowl for the foals, inviting them to take a piece or two. And that goes for you too, Pinkie!” I added, suddenly.

I turned around, for there indeed was my pink pony pal, only she wasn’t pink. She had somehow managed to color herself chalk-white, and her mane and tail were sun-yellow. She had also added a fake pair of pegasus wings to her back, held on by a rope belt around her stomach. She was frozen in the act of trying to take up the whole bowl, but put it down again when I rounded on her. I’d seen her just out of the corner of my eye.

“How’d you know it was me?” she asked, in a pouty voice.

I chuckled and, with the stem of the pipe at my lips, I said,

“My dear Miss Pie, there is only one pony with such a voracity towards candy that extends to ignoring a friendly written reminder, and you fit that description to a T.”

Pinkie burst into a bout of her snorting giggles.

“Oh my gosh, Davie, you sounded just like Sherlock Pones when you said that! Great job!”

“Thanks. So, what are you supposed to be?”

“Surprise!” Pinkie answered, rearing up and throwing her forelegs wide open.

Nopony said anything for several seconds.

“...Um, what’s the surprise?” I asked, finally.

“Me!” said Pinkie.

“You’re a surprise?”

“Not a surprise, silly-billy. Surprise!”

I glanced at Moonlight, who shrugged. This was probably just Pinkie being Pinkie, so who was I to question it?

“Works for me,” I said. “Shall we head to the festival?”

“Okie-dokie-lokie! Let’s motor!”

The three of us headed off for Ponyville, Pinkie bouncing along at one side of me, while Moonlight trotted at the other.


***


The town square was alive with ponies, all of them costumed. Some were generic things, like a Viking, a vampire, or a football player, but some were specific characters in pop culture, though obviously ponified to fit their culture. I could have sworn I saw a trio of Three Stooges, a Boris Badenov, and even a Jessica Rabbit.

On stage, a band was playing a dance number, its lead player a fiddle-playing Earth pony wearing a Western hat, a red bandana, and a green shirt with a frayed hem. She reminded me a little of Octavia. In front of the stage, ponies were dancing lively to the quick, jaunty tune. 

As we walked about, Moonlight was looking this way and that, amazed at everything she was seeing. She had to have made at least some trips into Ponyville for food and provisions, but probably never saw much of the town.. As of yet, there was nopony in the crowd I really recognized, until...

“Dave! There you are!”

The three of us stopped dead in our tracks. Lyra was running towards us, a little unsteadily, on her hind legs. She was wearing glasses, a red T-shirt, a pair of blue jeans, and white socks over her hind hooves. Several ponies turned and stared as she sprinted past.

“Lyra?” I spluttered. “What the-?”

“Surprised?” she asked, out of breath. “I’m you!”

“Me?”

“Yeah! I’ve been wanting to go as a human for years, but now that you’ve come to Ponyville, I know how to do the costume right! Neat, huh?”

She beamed widely, looking as giddy as a schoolgirl. I was still quite agog. The idea that Lyra had wanted to go as me...Had I already become something of an icon?

“You do look just like him, Lyra!” said Pinkie. “Way to go!”

“Thanks, Pinkie! Only...”

She paused and turned around so that her back was facing us, placing her hooves on her hips.

“Do these pants make my rump look big?”

(Why do girls always have to ask guys that question?)

I was spared answering, however, when the music changed, and it was yet another tune I recognized: a lively Irish jig from a movie about leprechauns. It was one of the best earworms of a song I had ever listened to, because I never got tired of how far it could carry my imagination.

“Oooh, let’s dance!” said Lyra. “Come on, Moonlight!”

Surprised, Moonlight was whisked away by Lyra onto the dance floor. While Lyra got her ‘jig’ on, Moonlight did her best to emulate it, though she looked embarrassed about it. In all fairness, she wasn’t doing half bad. I turned to Pinkie.

“May I have this jig, Pinkie?” I asked, graciously.

“I was just about to ask you the same thing,” said Pinkie, in an imitation of a high-class woman.

She reared up, placed her hooves in my hands, and we started a goofy jig out into the dance floor as that fiddle pony played away. Just like the iteration of the song I knew, the music sped up not once, not twice, but three times. Each time, the dancing got quicker and wilder, and Pinkie, Lyra, and even Moonlight began to laugh and squeal from the speed and the adrenaline. It amazed me how that pony could keep up on that fiddle. I could see her hunching over, tongue sticking out of the side of her mouth, playing away with what looked like lightning speed, while the rest of her crew kept up with their own instruments.

At last, the song ended, and the band received wild applause as the fiddle player bowed. Moonlight and Lyra came back over.

“Phew! What a thrill!” said Lyra. “Now that’s what I call dancing!”

“That was really fun, I have to admit,” said Moonlight, her face aglow.

“And you, Pinkie, really know how to cut a rug,” I said.

Pinkie beamed, not noticing somepony sneaking through the crowd towards her. I had to rub my eyes to make sure I wasn’t seeing things, because it was a hilarious sight: Rainbow Dash dressed like Ahuizotl. 

She was wearing a headpiece resembling his freaky face, and a costume much like the rest of him, including that third paw on the tail. I must have been the only one to notice, because Lyra and Moonlight were talking amongst themselves. Rainbow therefore snuck up behind Pinkie, raised her tail, and tapped her on the shoulder. Pinkie whipped her head around, but saw nopony, as Rainbow slunk like a cat to her other side and tapped that shoulder, then went back into her former position when Pinkie went to check that shoulder. Then, Rainbow sucked in her breath, and let loose what sounded like an authentic beast roar, so jarringly contrasting with her normal voice.

Pinkie let out a squeal of terror and dashed away, and quite a few ponies screamed as well. Rainbow started laughing, rolling onto her back and kicking her legs in hysterics.

“Very mature, Rainbow,” I said, dryly.

“Aw, lighten up, Sherlock,” said Rainbow. “Nightmare Night’s the best night of the year for pranks, and they never stay the same every year.”

“Nice costume, though. Wasn’t expecting to see such an authentic Ahuizotl.”

“Thanks! I was gonna go as Daring Do, but thought that’d be a little obvious. Hit them with what they least expect, that’s the winner’s way!”

She spotted Moonlight in her Daring Do garb, and a devious smile crossed her face. She flipped back onto all fours, and this time spoke in a voice that sounded like Dracula’s South American cousin.

“Daring Do! I see you have dared to take part in the Nightmare Night festivities while I am on the prowl! Tonight shall be the perfect time to vanquish you!”

At first, I was worried that Moonlight was gonna freak out. Instead, I saw a smile cross her face, and she crouched like an animal about to pounce.

“I tracked you all the way here, Ahuizotl, and this time I’m taking you in!”

“You’ll never take me alive, Miss Do!” Rainbow replied, and she sprinted off into the town, Moonlight in hot pursuit.

I’ll admit I laughed out loud at the sight, mostly because Moonlight was genuinely having fun. Lyra was in stitches as well.

“I think she’s gonna be just fine in Ponyville,” I told her, as she leaned on my shoulder for support.

“So do I. She’s a good kid. Now come on, you’ve gotta see Bonnie’s Nightmare Night special!”

“Oh yeah! I’ve been dying to see what she’s cooked up!”

“Oooh, you’re gonna love it, pally-o! Let’s go!”

And Lyra began excitedly dragging me off toward Bon Bon’s Bonbons, through the crowd of ponies, which had begun to dance to a new tune from the orchestra this time.


***


As we came to the shop, I heard Bon Bon’s voice carry through the air in song, in a remarkably beautiful voice.

“If you want to view paradise
Simply look around and view it
Anything you want to, do it
Want to change the world?
There’s nothing to it”

I had a feeling I knew what was coming once we went inside, and there, sure enough, was Bon Bon, wearing a brown top hat, a violet coat, and a purple waistcoat, standing behind the counter and singing to a group of foals. A tarp was covering the counter.

“There is no life I know
To compare with pure imagination
Living there, you’ll be free
If you truly wish to be”

The fillies applauded, as did the two of us.

“I didn’t know Bon Bon could sing,” I told Lyra.

“Oh yeah, she’s got a great set of pipes,” said Lyra. “She just doesn’t like showing off.”

“Welcome, little ones, welcome!” said Bon Bon, in a grand voice. “Tonight, we have a special treat for Nightmare Night! Behold, the Bon Bon’s Bonbons Specialty Choco-Cauldrons!”

She whisked back the tarp, revealing a display case full of little cauldrons, about the size of an orange, made of shiny brown chocolate and each filled with a different colored something. The foals ‘Oooh’-ed.

“Each Choco-Cauldron is filled with its own fantastical filling. What shall it be, little ones?”

She waved her hoof over each as she introduced them.

“Chilling Chocolate, Awful Orange, Lamenting Lemon, Ghoulish Green Apple, Roaring Raspberry, Creepy Caramel, or Monstrous Marshmallow? 3 bits apiece.”

The foals clamored around to buy one, so Lyra and I stood back and let them finish before chancing a talk with Bon Bon. The kids cleared out, chowing down on their Choco-Cauldrons with relish and gleeful reactions, and the two of us were able to approach.

“Filly Wonka, I presume?” I asked.

“How’d you guess?” asked Bon Bon, smiling. “Great Sherlock costume, by the way.”

“Thanks. So, this is what you’ve been working on? Pretty neat!”

“Oh, thank you! I’ve been wanting to try something like this, but the idea only came to me after the last Nightmare Night was already passed. It’s an awful feeling, having an idea but missing the time to use it.”

“Oh, I quite agree.”

“Lemme have one, Bonnie! Please?” asked Lyra, eyes twinkling.

“Yes, yes, Lyra,” said Bon Bon, patiently, “I did promise you could have one after they were revealed. I’m sure you know why I held off having you test these?”

“Less lecture, more candy,” said Lyra, in a business-like tone, though she accompanied this with a toothy grin.

Bon Bon rolled her eyes and placed a Chilling Chocolate in her hoof.

“That’ll be 3 bits,” she added, just as Lyra was gonna stuff her face with it.

“But I work here!” Lyra complained. “You let me eat for free!”

“Yes, when I want you to test something. 3 bits, please.”

“Bit-pincher,” Lyra grumbled, as she levitated 3 bits out of the pocket of her jeans and laid them on the counter. “I’m gonna go check out the games. Meet ya there, Dave?”

“Sure. I’ll keep an eye out.”

“Swell. See ya!”

And she stuffed the cauldron into her mouth whole, prancing out with an “Mmmm!” of delight.

“One Creepy Caramel, please, Bon Bon,” I said, laying my own 3 bits down.

“Excellent choice!”

She handed me a Choco-Cauldron full of caramel cream, and I bit into it.

“Oooh, wow,” I muttered, after swallowing. “That is some quality chocolate. It reminds me of a kind we have back at home, called Dove. Stands out from the other chocolate brands by a considerable amount.”

“You’re so sweet,” said Bon Bon.

“Not as sweet as your treats, Miss Wonka. Are you gonna come along to the rest of the festival?”

“Not until closing time. I’ll have plenty of time to enjoy the festivities, don’t worry.”

“All right. Well, congrats on a great holiday treat!”

“Thank you! Happy Nightmare Night!”

I took my leave of Bon Bon, cramming the rest of the Choco-Cauldron into my mouth as I set to looking for the games Lyra mentioned.


***


By passing by the music stage again, I found myself in a part of the town where a sort of carnival had been set up. Booths were had been put up, advertising different games, like those ones where you toss baseballs at stacked bottles, or a set of catapults launching pumpkins at bullseyes. 

To my delight, I saw Twilight, Spike, Rarity, and Applejack all talking together. Twilight was wearing a gray sweater, a white undershirt, round glasses, and what looked like a red lightning bolt on her forehead, beside her horn. Spike was dressed in a snappy suit, a bowler hat, a cane, and had a postage stamp mustache on his upper lip. Rarity was wearing a black coat over a blue dress, a dainty flowered hat, and had an umbrella tucked under her foreleg. Applejack was wearing a blue and white gingham dress and ruby slippers on her back hooves, her mane done up in pigtails. In my mind, I read off the costumes as I recognized them: Harry Potter, Charlie Chaplin, Mary Poppins, and Dorothy Gale.

From the sound of their conversation, Applejack was self-conscious about her appearance.

“But, darling, you look fabulous!” said Rarity.

“Yeah, Applejack,” said Twilight. “I’ve never seen you like this before.”

“Ah just don’t feel right,” said Applejack. “Rainbow dared me to dress up as somethin’ ‘girly’ after she won our little rematch race from the Runnin’ of the Leaves. This was the best Ah could come up with.”

“It’s you, dear,” said Rarity, “trust me.”

“I like your costume, Applejack,” I said, approaching.

The mares looked up.

“Hi, Dave!” said Twilight. “Glad you could come!” Her eyes swiveled over my costume. “Ooh! Sherlock Pones! Classic!”

“Thanks. Harry Trotter, I take it?”

“Mm-hmm! Star Swirl the Bearded may have been an ambitious gamble, but I thought I’d go with good ol’ Harry this year.”

“I can certainly see a lot of parallels between the two of you,” I said, blowing a few soap bubbles. “Bold, brilliant, talented magic users.”

Twilight smiled appreciatively.

“Spike, Charlie Chaplin? And I thought I only appreciated the classics. Good on ya.”

True to form with his character, Spike merely doffed his bowler without speaking.

“Rarity, Mare-y Poppins? Smashing, milady, smashing.”

“Why, thank you, darling.”

“Applejack, you don’t need to feel so abashed. You make a good Dorothy.”

“Ah appreciate that, sugarcube. Just wish it didn’t have to feel like the losin’ end of a bet.”

“Now that I think about it,” I said, pondering, “didn’t Fluttershy decide to take part in the festival?”

“She did, which is why I can’t imagine why she’s not here yet,” said Rarity. “The costume I chose for her was perfect.”

“Um, mew?”

The voice was so quiet, but so sudden, that I jumped. Turning, I saw one of the most adorable things I’d seen yet, and in a world full of colorful, big-eyed ponies, that’s saying a lot.

At first, I wondered if Fluttershy had somehow put on weight, but then I realized her outfit was similarly colored to her coat. It was a full-body cat costume, complete with ears, paws, and tail. It was funny that she’d go for something so cutesy on Nightmare Night, but how could I blame her when she was so timid?

“Fluttershy, you gotta be more careful. I nearly had a heart attack from such a cuteness overload.”

Fluttershy’s cheeks went scarlet.

“D-Do you really like my costume?”

“Like it? It suits you, Fluttershy. Right, gals?”

“Absolutely!” said Twilight.

“You look downright adorable, Fluttershy!” said Applejack.

“Just like I said, sweetie,” said Rarity.

“Thank you,” mumbled Fluttershy. “Rarity offered to make me a lion costume, but I settled for a nice little kitty instead.”

“That you, Fluttershy?”

Rainbow Dash came swooping in, seeming to have shaken off Moonlight. She ran a scrutinizing eye over Fluttershy’s cat outfit.

“Not what I’d go for on Nightmare Night,” she said, “but then again, I know how you are. Not bad for a first try.” She then added, in her Ahuizotl voice, “Consider yourself a member of my all-powerful feline army!”

Fluttershy smiled weakly. Just then, I heard Lyra call my name.

“Hey, Dave! There you are! Come on over!”

I joined her in front of a giant black spider web. A bowl of stuffed toy spiders was sitting nearby.

“What’s this?” I asked.

“Spider Toss!” said Lyra. “Try to get the spiders to land on the web. Whoever gets the closest to the middle wins. A bullseye’s an automatic win.”

“Huh. Ok, sounds easy enough.”

I picked up a spider, weighing it in my hand for a moment before lobbing it. It landed short of the web.

“Aw, nuts.”

“Give it another go,” said Lyra. “You can do it.”

I picked up another spider, weighed it in my hand, and gave it an underhand toss. It landed with a ‘boing’ just below the middle.

“Hey, nice one!” said Lyra. “But I bet I can beat that.”

She picked up her own spider, concentrated with her tongue between her teeth, and hurled it. It sailed right past the web and smacked a passing pony right in the face.

“Augh! My eye!” he yelled.

To make matters worse, it was a rather burly stallion dressed like a caveman, a wooden club slung at his side. Lyra gulped.

“He did it!” she said, pointing at me quickly before zipping off.

“Thanks a lot,” I grumbled, as I too skedaddled.


***


When I found the girls again, they were standing amongst a crowd where another small stage had been erected. Moonlight and Pinkie were still nowhere to be seen. To my surprise, the mini-stage was housing Trixie, wearing her cloak and hat once again, and standing beneath a banner bearing her cutie mark. Her choice of garb was probably her ego at work; what else could Trixie be but Trixie?

“You have all been a lovely audience,” said Trixie, “so Trixie shall now perform her most amazing feats of prestidigitation!”

When I joined the girls, I heard Rainbow Dash growl,

“Come on, let me at her!”

“Ah ain’t budgin, Rainbow,” said Applejack, and I saw that she had a hoof on Rainbow’s tail.

“I forbid you to harass her, Rainbow Dash,” said Twilight, sternly. “We made amends and formed a truce. She’s proven she deserves a second chance.”

“She threw a pie at you!” Rainbow snapped.

“She could have done a lot worse,” said Twilight.

Rainbow huffed and sat her rump down, forelegs crossed.

“Keep your eyes on this egg, ponies,” Trixie was saying. 

She levitated her hat off of her head and placed it over an egg she had placed on the stage. 

“When Trixie removes her hat, this egg shall disappear, but a surprise shall take its place! One...two...three!”

She whisked her hat off, revealing a live baby chick. Some ponies ‘Ooh’-ed, some ‘Aww’-ed.

“See? That’s how you do that trick, Snails!” came the voice of the colt Snips.

Trixie laid her hat down again, lifting it to reveal a full-grown chicken. This earned her even more applause. She then laid her hat down again, but this time, the chicken had reverted to an egg again. Incredible!

“Now, for Trixie’s next trick, she shall need a volunteer!”

Several ponies raised their hooves. Fluttershy ducked down, though the tips of her ears were still showing.

“Hmm...” pondered Trixie. “How about...you, with the cat ears?”

Ponies parted to make Fluttershy visible. She eep-ed in surprise.

“M-Me?”

“Yes, you. Come forward. You need not be afraid.”

“Don’t do it, Fluttershy!” snarled Rainbow, straining to get her tail out from under Applejack’s hoof. “She’s just gonna humiliate you like she did with us!”

“Rainbow, hush!” said Applejack.

Fluttershy trooped forward hesitantly through the crowd.

“That’s right, don’t be shy. Trixie shall not bite.”

Fluttershy stepped onto the stage and turned to face the crowd, still looking scared.

“Now, what is your name? Speak so the audience can hear.”

“F-Fluttershy.”

“Well, Fluttershy, Trixie would like to ask you to keep your eye on this ball.”

She held up a small black rubber ball on her hoof. Fluttershy fixed her eyes on it, but Trixie waved her hoof over it, momentarily blocking the ball from view, but when she moved it away again, the ball was gone. Ponies gasped, and Fluttershy’s eyes widened.

“Did I not watch it closely enough?” she asked, worried.

“Fear not,” said Trixie, grandly, ‘for that ball has not gone far.” She then suddenly gave a great show of surprise. “Why, what is that in your ear?”

“Huh?”

Trixie lifted one of Fluttershy’s costume ears and blew sharply into it. The ball came shooting out through the other ear, landing on the stage. The crowd applauded and cheered, but Trixie wasn’t done. She levitated the ball in front of her, waved her hooves around it again, and with a burst, the ball turned into a flock of doves that soared away. The cheering intensified, and Fluttershy looked flabbergasted, though I imagined seeing the doves made her happy.

“Trixie thanks you for your cooperation,” said Trixie.

Fluttershy, taking this as her cue, stumbled off the stage to rejoin us.

“Nice going, Fluttershy!” said Twilight. “You played a wonderful magician’s assistant!”

“Um, thanks, Twilight, but I didn’t even know what I was supposed to be doing.”

“There’s nothing to it,” I said. “All you have to do is let them work their magic on you. It never hurts, and it never lasts long. I’ve seen that kind of thing before.”

“See, Rainbow? Trixie meant no harm,” said Applejack.

“Yeah, yeah, ok, she’s on the level, I get it,” grumbled Rainbow. “Now get off my tail with those ruby horseshoes! Sheesh!”

Applejack released her, and Trixie called out,

“There shall be another show within the hour for those who came late! You shan’t want to miss any of the excitement of the Grrreat and Powerful Trrrrixie!”

A pair of fireworks went off beside the stage, and the crowd applauded again before dispersing. As we left, I flashed Trixie a thumbs up, and she smiled and winked in response. She was already on the path to recovering her career.

“There you are, Ahuizotl!”

We came to a halt. Moonlight was standing with the Cutie Mark Crusaders, who had drawn their swords, holding the hilts in their teeth.

“I’ve joined forces with the famous Muskedeers! You can’t possibly outmatch us without your wildcats, though I see you do have one among your ranks. We still outrank you, however!  I suggest you give up now before you embarrass yourself.”

“Curse you, Daring Do!” said Rainbow, in her Dracula voice again. “You win this time, but I shall return! Mark my words! Mark them on the calendar of your DOOM!”

This hammy display was met by laughter on all sides, including Rainbow.

“Why, Dave,” said Rarity, “is this the friend whom you bought the Daring Do costume for?”

“Oh! Right, you haven’t met her yet!”

I stepped up beside Moonlight and cleared my throat.

“Everypony, this is Moonlight, my next door neighbor. She hasn’t been around Ponyville much before. Moonlight, this is Twilight Sparkle, Spike, Applejack, Rarity, and Fluttershy.”

The girls and Spike gave her sundry greetings, to which she replied,

“Hello, everypony. Dave has told me what wonderful friends you are. I hope we might be friends as well.”

“Of course!” said Twilight. “You’re always welcome, Moonlight.”

“Any friend of Dave’s is a friend of ours,” said Rarity.

Moonlight’s face was aglow with glee.

“You kids have fun gatherin’ candy?” Applejack asked the Crusaders.

“Sure did!” said Apple Bloom. “Check out our haul!”

Their candy bags were bulging with sweets, so much so that it was a wonder that they could keep walking.

“Speaking of candy, have you kids seen Pinkie anywhere?” I asked.

“Yeah!” said Dinky. “She was stocking up on her own candy, and eating it at the same time!”

“Yep, that sounds like Pinkie Pie,” said Twilight, dryly.

“We’d better hurry,” said Sweetie Belle. “It’s almost time for the candy offering!”

“Candy offering?” I asked, but was not given an answer, for the mayor’s voice was carrying over the night air. Looking about, I saw her standing at the big music stage, dressed in black and wearing a witch’s hat.

“Fillies and gentlecolts, your attention, please! All foals who have been out gathering sweets, please follow Zecora to hear the tale of...Nightmare Moon!”

This was accompanied by what I assume was her attempt at a creepy cackle.

“At least she ditched the goofy clown wig this year,” Spike muttered to Twilight.

There was a puff of greenish smoke that filled the stage, and Zecora stepped out, wearing green robes and a mask that resembled a praying mantis’ head, through which her blue, almond-shaped eyes shone brightly in the night.

“Come with me, my little dears, to see the queen of your nightly fears,” she said.

The Crusaders and many other foals joined her as she started making her way in the direction of the Everfree Forest. As much as I didn’t want to have to go back into that place on such a creepy night as this, my curiosity to know what I was being denied knowledge of overcame that, and I followed after them.


***


Thankfully, it wasn’t too far into the forest that we went, but only up to a statue I had never noticed before. It was of an alicorn rearing up, a cold expression on its face. It was dressed in a kind of armor, with a spear-like horn, a trailing mane and tail, and cruel eyes with slit pupils. Zecora had gathered at the front of the statue, and the foals gathered around.

Zecora explained how, every year, on Nightmare Night, Nightmare Moon prowled the skies, seeking little lost ponies to devour. That was why everypony dressed up: to avoid being recognized as a pony prime for the picking. The candy was meant as an offering. If everypony gave her a sizeable pile of sweets, she might decide to feast on it instead of us. The entire thing was very chilling, as she accompanied her tale with spectral images created from a kind of green powder she had stashed in her cloak.

The foals had become unnerved by the tale as well, and they dumped out their candy in front of the statue as quick as they could. As soon as that was done, however, a clap of thunder shook the forest, and an unearthly voice filled the air.

“Well, well, well, my little foals. I told you I would return, and you have wisely chosen to offer me a new pile of delectable sweets. I may just feast on them, rather than you!”

No! It couldn’t be!

I must have blinked, because the statue itself was talking!

Only...it wasn’t a statue!

Nightmare Moon was alive!

The foals ran for the hills, screaming, though one little colt, dressed like a night guard, cheered first, then screamed. As for me, I flattened myself against a tree, Nightmare Moon gazing right at me with blazing white eyes.

“Please,” I gasped out. “Lord protect me! Drive away this evil!”

Then, all of a sudden, Nightmare Moon became surrounded by a white glow. She shrank down, and in the next instant, the glow faded, to reveal-

“P-Princess Luna?!”

She spat a pair of fake vampire fangs into her hoof, set them aside, then approached me.

“I hope you are all right, Sir Dave,” she said.

“All right?” I asked. “All right?! You scared the living daylights out of me!” 

“Then ‘twas a success!” said Luna, proudly.

(Ok, can’t argue with that. It is Nightmare Night, after all.)

“How did you even do that? I thought you really were Nightmare Moon!”

“As my sister has been known to say...Gotcha!”

(Must run in the family or something.)

“Do you do this every year?”

“No, this is only the second year I have done this, but I hope to keep the tradition alive by doing so.”

“Wow. That’s so cool. You must make a lot of foals happy, even when you’re scaring the bejeezus out of them.: 

Luna giggled softly.

“I have been told that it’s ‘scary, but fun’. It is an odd feeling, but it makes them happy, so it makes me happy.”

“How sweet. So, what do you do after that?”

“Join in the festivities, of course. I have become quite the expert at the spider toss.”

“Really? You, a princess, join the festivities?”

“Oh, come now, Sir Dave. I may be royalty, but that does not mean I do not know how to uncoil.”

“Er, you mean unwind?”

“Yes, that. Come, we shall return together.”

“I’d be honored, Your Highness.”

I clumsily bowed (my knees were still shaking), and we made our way back toward Ponyville together, chatting about this and that. After the huge scare of Nightmare Moon, it was a relief to have the real Luna to speak to.


***


“Yes, I do remember. You have a meeting with the delegates tomorrow.”

“Do you know about any of them?”

“They are senior representatives of their homes: highly respectable, wise, and just. I think you shall find them good company.”

“I hope so. Besides that, I’ll have a heck of a time getting up after tonight.”

“If you’d like, I can arrange quick transportation for you, so that you may not worry about catching the train.”

“What kind of quick transportation?”

“Oh, the usual.”

“What’s the us-”

“Princess Luna!”

We had come back into Ponyville, and Twilight was running toward us. Luna smiled warmly as she stopped in front of her.

“Twilight Sparkle, how good to see you again. Have the festivities begun?”

“They have! Come on, you haven’t missed a thing!”

“Wonderful!”

Luna turned to me.

“Sir Dave, I must be off, but we shall meet up again later tonight, yes?”

“I’d like that, Princess.”

“Splendid. Enjoy the night, as I know I shall.”

Twilight and Luna walked off, now chatting freely amongst themselves. It did my heart good to see Luna being humble and down-to-earth, as I imagined her sister was. It showed that the Equestrian monarchs really did know how to relate to their subjects.

I began wandering, trying to scope out any of my other friends, when an odd sight met our eyes. Derpy and Sparkler were standing in front of a house, looking up at Pinkie, who was standing on the roof.

“Pinkie, get down from there!” called Derpy. “You’ll hurt yourself!”

“This isn’t funny, Pinkie!” called Sparkler.

Pinkie didn’t seem to have heard, as she crouched low.

“Up, up, and a-WHEE!” she squealed, and leaped off the roof...actually managing to stay afloat!

“She can fly?” I asked, stunned.

However, halfway to the next house, she began slowing down, and eventually hung suspended above the ground. So that was it: she was on a zip-line. Pretty sneaky, considering I couldn’t even see it.

“Pinkie, are you ok?” I asked, running over to her.

“Yeah, Davie, I’m peachy. Could I have a little help, though?”

“I’ll help you, Pinkie,” said Derpy.

She fluttered up behind Pinkie and, grasping her around the middle, flapped her up to the opposite roof. It looked like she was having a hard time of it, too, from the strained look on her face. In the end, though, they made it, and Pinkie unhooked herself and clambered down.

“Thank goodness you didn’t get hurt, Pinkie,” I said.

“I’m A-OK, Davie,” said Pinkie, looking none the worse for wear, but a little disappointed. “I thought I could make it, but maybe I’m too heavy.”

That wasn’t hard to see. She was looking a little more bloated than usual, probably from gorging on so much candy, and her belly was testing the limit of the rope holding her wings on.

“Can’t imagine why,” I said, giving it a playful poke that sent her giggling. “Decided to stuff your face instead of saving a treat for Nightmare Moon? Aren’t you afraid she’s gonna gobble you up?”

“No way, silly,” said Pinkie. “I’m too big for her to gobble up now!”

“But you’d taste even sweeter to her with all that candy in your tummy,” I said.

“Ooh. You’re right,” said Pinkie, reflectively.

“Don’t worry about it, Pinks. I was at the offering, and she has been appeased.”

“Oh, good! Now come on, Davie, there’s a lot more Nightmare Night that needs celebrating!”

With that, she bounded away, as if nothing had happened. I turned to look at Derpy and Sparkler.

“Just Pinkie being Pinkie?” I asked.

“Just Pinkie being Pinkie,” said Derpy.

“Then that’s good enough for me,” I said, and went off in the direction she had taken. This was way better than any Halloween I’d ever had. All we usually did after I got older was sit around and wait for kids to come and trick-or-treat, but this? I officially loved Nightmare Night.
> The Round Table
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

When I rejoined the others, the band had started up a new song. Twilight and friends were bobbing their heads along to what I could swear was ‘The Devil Went Down to Georgia’. This time, the fiddler pony was joined by a stallion in his own Western attire, who I supposed was a vocalist. Indeed he was, for he provided the lyrical narration, backed up in the sung parts by his fellow band members. I arrived in time to hear the first sung section, and soon realized that the Devil in this version was Discord.

Johnny, you rosin up your bow
And play your fiddle hard
There’s chaos loose in Ponyville
And Discord deals the cards
And if you win, you get this shiny
Fiddle made of gold
But if you lose,
Discord’ll be your troll!

Other than that, the song played out very much the way I knew it back in the human world, and that fiddling pony played beautifully. She obviously had a passion for music that was shared with ponies like Lyra and Octavia.

The song ended with its spectacular finish, and the crowd applauded wildly.

“Those guys are great!” I said to Applejack, who was nearest. “Do you know that fiddler, AJ?”

“Her name’s Fiddlesticks,” said Applejack. “She’s a friend of the family, and a favorite at hoedowns and jamborees.”

“I can see why,” I said, watching as Fiddlesticks bowed for the adoring crowd.

“Dave!” I heard Twilight call, and I turned to see her approaching. “Princess Luna told me you have a meeting with the Round Table delegates tomorrow! How exciting!”

“Er, yeah,” I said, “I was meaning to tell you all earlier, so it wouldn’t be such a surprise-”

“Hey, don’t sweat it,” said Rainbow Dash. “You’ve got a royal duty to do.”

Pinkie gave a great “Pffft!” of laughter.

“What?” asked Rainbow, confused.

“You said ‘doody’!” said Pinkie.

“Oh, for Pete’s sake,” I muttered, as Rainbow too caught the joke and snickered. These two were so immature. “Anyway, she told me she wanted to talk about arranging transportation, since I’m gonna have a hard time getting up early tomorrow.”

“Ah know the feelin’,” said Applejack. “Apple Bloom’s an early riser normally, but after Nightmare Night, it’s like Ah need a crowbar to pry her outta bed.”

“Where is Princess Luna, by the way?” I asked.

“Playing at the pumpkin-pult,” said Twilight.

“The pumpkin-wha?”

I was answered by a loud splattering noise. I looked to see Princess Luna standing by a catapult that had just launched, and its corresponding target was splattered with pumpkin.

“Huzzah!” she cried, victoriously. “Another bullseye!”

She turned away from the catapult and spotted me.

“Ah! Sir Dave. Do forgive me for my abrupt departure,” she said, approaching.

“Of course, Princess,” I said, graciously. “You were about to say what the usual transport was.”

“Ah, yes, I remember. The usual way is by carriage. I can send somepony to your home, and he will then ferry you to Canterlot.”

“Will it still get me there on time?”

“Assuredly.”

“Great! I’ll get my suit ready and everything. Thanks, Princess.”

“But of course, Sir Dave. It would not do for Minister Ironmane to have to chew you out over tardiness, especially not for such a festive occasion as this.”

“Between you and me, Your Highness, something tells me the word ‘festive’ is not in his dictionary.”

“Oh, I quite agree,” chuckled Luna, “although I am not one to talk. Before last year, I had not even known the meaning of the word ‘fun’. Still, Ironmane is a pony with a heart for the safety of Equestria, so I can hardly fault him.”

“Hey, Dave! Hi, Princess Luna!”

I looked down to see the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Their little candy bags were full to bursting.

“Good evening, children,” said Luna. “I trust you are enjoying yourself?”

“We sure are!” said Scootaloo. “I can’t remember the last time I had so much candy!”

“Didn’t you get any, Dave?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Nah, kids, I’m too old for that kinda thing,” I said.

I heard Pinkie gasp sharply behind me. She grabbed my shoulders and whipped me around to face her, giving me a steely glare.

“Never, ever say that, Davie. Nopony, and no human, is too old for free candy! I mean, it’s candy, and it’s free!”

(How do you argue with logic like that?)

“Really, Pinkie, it’s fine,” I said, gently removing her hooves from my shoulders. “I did have a candy bag with me just in case, though.”

I held it up as visual evidence, and this seemed to mollify Pinkie.

“Well, at least you went prepared.”

“You can have some of my candy, Dave.”

I looked down to see Dinky gazing up at me with those adorable yellow eyes of hers, holding up her overstuffed candy bag.

“Aw, Dinky, I couldn’t possibly,” I said. “It’s your candy.”

“I’m not gonna be able to finish it,” she said.

She smiled sunnily up at me. I can’t believe I hadn’t noticed before, but she had the cutest little dimples when she smiled.

“If you really want to,” I said, bending down.

“I do!” chirped Dinky, and she dumped nearly half of her bag into mine.

“You’re a sweet kid, Dinky,” I said, ruffling her mane, making her giggle. The older mares looked on with warm smiles on their faces.

“A most charitable action, child,” said Luna. “Sister knows I myself have a weakness for sugary confections, though not quite as much as she does.”

This brought snickers from Rainbow Dash and Pinkie, but a scandalized look from Twilight. She looked torn between telling off Luna for poking fun at her mentor and not wishing to scold a princess.

“Has anypony seen Moonlight?” I asked, straightening up again.

“I believe she went to Bon Bon’s to try one of her new Choco-Cauldrons,” said Rarity. “Absolutely decadent, by the way.”

“Yeah, Bon Bon always makes the best treats!” said Rainbow.

“I’d better go see how she’s doing,” I said. “I shouldn’t be too long.”

I headed off for Bon Bon’s, and sure enough, found Moonlight inside. She was seated at a table, her chin resting on the tabletop, bits of chocolate sprinkled about. It took me a few moments to realize she was asleep.

“Oh, poor thing,” I muttered.

“I know,” said Bon Bon. “She came in and ordered a Monstrous Marshmallow, because she was worried she’d miss closing time, but I guess she’s fun-ed herself to the bone tonight, because she fell asleep after finishing.”

“I’d better take her home,” I said. “No sense leaving her inside if you’re gonna lock up.”

“Good idea. Thanks, Dave.”

I scooped Moonlight up into my arms and carried her out the door, heading toward home, as Bon Bon closed the door behind herself.


***


We were just approaching Moonlight’s home when she stirred in my arms.

“Mm? Dave?”

“Hey there, sleepy,” I said, gently.

She yawned. “I must have fallen asleep in Bon Bon’s. I thought I could stay up all night, but I guess I overdid it a little.”

“Did you have fun, at least?”

“I did! It was more fun than I thought it would be. I got to meet so many ponies, and I even saw Princess Luna! I didn’t have the nerve to go up to her, but I still saw her.”

“I had a feeling tonight was gonna be big.”

Moonlight smiled sleepily, and I gently set her on her hooves in front of her door.

“Good night, Dave,” she said, “and thanks for taking me home.”

“You’re welcome, Moonlight. Sleep tight.”

She entered and closed the door behind her, and I made tracks for Ponyville once again.


***


“Dave! There you are!”

I had just come back into the town square, when who should come up, but Trixie?

“Hey, Trixie! How’s it going?”

“Magnificently! Not only have I regained my image, but I was granted an audience with Princess Luna herself!”

“Congrats! Things are really looking up for you.”

“They certainly are! I think my vengeance on Twilight Sparkle was the catalyst to a new dawn for the Great and Powerful Trixie! I feel ready to take on the world again!”

“Take on the world? You mean, leave Ponyville and travel around again?”

“Well, yes,” said Trixie, in a slightly more subdued tone. “I’m a traveling showmare, Dave. I cannot stick to one spot and make a living repeating the same tricks to the same crowd.”

She adopted a philosophical, scholarly air that was quite intriguing to observe.

“The art of showpony business is to expand your repertoire through your travels. As I visit other towns and cities and display the tricks that wowed ponies before them, I may pick up on a new trick, or learn how to expand a trick I have already known but wished to improve. It is a never-ending cycle, Dave.”

“So, someday, you’re gonna leave Ponyville?” I asked, regretfully.

“Do not be sad, Dave,” said Trixie, in a kinder tone. “You shan’t lose me so soon. I said I would lodge in Ponyville once I had won their favor again, and I shall, for a little while.”

“Good. It feels like I’ve only just met you, Trixie, and I’d hate to see you go so soon.”

“Who would want to deprive themselves of Trixie?” she asked, wryly.

“Nopony,” I said, chuckling. “So, what have you been up to?”

“I wrapped up my last show, and now I’m just browsing about. I partook in one of those chocolate cauldrons the candy-mare is selling, and I have deemed them more than agreeable for my great and powerful taste buds.”

“No kidding. Those things are some of the best chocolate I’ve ever tasted.”

“And what have you been up to?”

“Oh, I had to take a friend of mine home. She partied a little too hard. First Nightmare Night and all.”

“What a pity. She must not have known that I was performing tonight. That would have been reason enough to stay awake.”

“Oho, I quite agree,” I chuckled.

“Now, I really mustn’t tarry much longer, Dave. I gave my crowd an intermission while I stretch my legs, and I shouldn’t leave them waiting too long.”

“Of course. Happy Nightmare Night, Trixie.”

“And the same to you, my human friend!”

With a whirl of her cloak, Trixie was off again, and I, for my part, returned to the hubbub and clamor of the festival.


***


It was around midnight by the time I was ready to call it a day. I therefore said my goodbyes and good nights to my friends, as well as Princess Luna, who once again assured me that I would have a carriage ready to take me to Canterlot in the morning, though she didn’t specify when. I felt a little disappointed that I couldn’t party on with the others through the night, but I had a duty to do, and besides, I had a great night!

Feeling both tired and satisfied, I made for home, where I found the bowl I had set out to be emptied clean of all candy. Glad the foals (and quite possibly Pinkie) enjoyed it, I brought it back inside with me, set out my fancy Canterlot clothes for tomorrow, changed into my pajamas, and collapsed onto my bed, falling asleep almost instantly.


***


I awoke with a ‘Blech’ and a sore head the next morning, about 9:00. Then, upon spying my fancy clothes sitting out and waiting, I realized what I was supposed to be doing, and leaped out of bed with a jolt that sent another surge of pain through my head. Quick as I could, I washed off, grabbed breakfast, and got suited up, though I was feeling hot and rushed this time around, which made dressing up uncomfortable. Still, at least the weather was getting cooler, being in autumn and all.

I had just put my hat on when there came a rap at my door. I went over and opened it, revealing a large white stallion in the golden armor of the royal guards.

“You are Sir Dave?” he asked.

“Er, yes,” I said, “though I haven’t really been knighted.”

I affected a weak chuckle, but this didn’t change the guard’s expression.

“I am to ferry you to Canterlot, per Princess Luna’s request, and to bring you back once your duties have been completed.”

“Ah, great. Thanks. Let me just lock up and I’ll be right with you.”

The guard left the doorway, allowing me to lock the front door. An ornate open carriage was sitting in the dirt road, and the guard was just re-harnessing himself to it. I climbed aboard, with the strange but inexplicable foreboding that I was entering the car to some high-speed rollercoaster.

“So, how much quicker will we get to Canterlot by this method?”

“Considerably so. Have you not traveled by air before?”

“Oh, a couple times, but-”

Wait.

What did he say?

“Wait a minute, did you say, ‘by air’?”

“Certainly, sir.”

It was only then that I noticed the wings at his sides. He was a pegasus.

We were going to fly there??

The guard had already spread his wings and was taking a running start.

“Er, hang on a minute! I kinda have this problem with he-EEEIIIIIGHTS!”

Too late; he had already swept into the air, bringing the carriage (and me) with him. Hurriedly stowing my hat and cane under my feet, I gripped the sides of the carriage, holding on for dear life as I felt an unpleasant plummeting feeling in my stomach. I couldn’t help myself: I looked down and saw Ponyville disappearing below me, though it only increased the unpleasant feeling within me. I really did have a problem with heights, usually from looking up at something way up high. It gave me the feeling that I was standing up there myself and was in danger of falling off. Weird, I know, but what can you do?

I didn’t even have the nerve to check and see what time we were making. I didn’t want to look toward either side of the carriage, and I didn’t want to release my hold on the sides. All I could do was keep my eyes fixed ahead, watching as Canterlot loomed closer and closer into view. The sooner this ride was over with, the better.

At long last, we touched down on solid ground at the palace gates. Stiffly, I picked up my hat and cane and stumbled out of the chariot.

“Are you all right, sir?” the guard asked.

“Oh, yes,” I said, through gritted teeth. “Just peachy. Thank you.”

“I’ll be ready when your business is settled, sir. Good luck.”

“Thanks.”

With that, I made my way through the palace gates, legs feeling like jelly. In all fairness, I could have warned Princess Luna I hated heights, but I did make it in good time.


***


“Ah, David. Welcome.”

Ironmane was standing by a closed oak door reading “Equestria Round Table”, when I finally made my way through the hallways of the castle, having been redirected by several guards.

“Good morning, Minister,” I puffed. “I hope I’m not too late.”

“No, you are not, though I have to admit, seeing you able to even make it surprises me, and I am not a stallion who is easily surprised.”

(Still haven’t lost that charm, have ya, Minister?)

“Well, thankfully, Princess Luna was attending the festivities, and she volunteered to arrange something.”

“How fortunate,” said Ironmane, simply.

“So, is there anything I need to know about this meeting?”

“It is merely for orientational purposes: introductions and other formalities of that sort. I must, of course, ask you to be on your best behavior, as you are still under my jurisdiction,” he added, warningly, seeing me about to speak in protest.

“Yes, sir,” I muttered.

“Good. Now, follow me.”

Ironmane opened the door and led me inside. I found myself in a room much akin to those you’d see in offices for staff meetings. There wasn’t much inside except for a window overlooking the castle grounds, a massive map of Equestria, and a circular table, where several other distinguished creatures sat.

The most striking was the pony to his immediate left: an alicorn. She was a soft pink, her wings tinged at the tips with purple. Her mane was long and flowing, curled at the ends, striped with purple, dark pink, and cream. She wore a small gold crown, a golden necklace, and gold horseshoes. Her cutie mark looked like a blue heart surrounded by gold brackets. She had a gentle, kind-natured face. Was she a princess, too?

One member was an elderly donkey, with a faded brown coat and a pair of thick glasses resting on his snout. He must have been one of the more senior members of this council.

The second was a pegasus mare, dressed in a prim suit jacket, her silver-blond mane trimmed short, almost boyishly, blending nicely with her pale cream coat. She had the face of one who had seen many unspeakable things in the past, but had only made her tougher. Her cutie mark resembled an eagle with spread wings.

The third was an Earth pony stallion, his coat a dull brown. He was wearing a pinstriped suit and a fedora hat, much akin to someone you might see in a Mafia movie. He had a casual, streetwise look about him, the kind of fellow you’d see lounging in an easy chair as if he hadn’t a care in the world. His cutie mark was a pistol.

The fourth could only be a griffin. He had the white-feathered head, wings, and talons of a large eagle, but the golden-brown body, tail, and hind paws of a lion. He had a dignified, calm air about him, kind of like Ironmane.

The fifth was another unmistakable, though I had never seen a real one before: a minotaur. From the waist up, he had the muscular body of a man, but the head of a bull. From the waist down, he had bovine hooves. He was sitting with arms crossed, calmly observing everyone else.

The sixth was a buffalo, dwarfing even the griffin with his hulking form, and equaling the minotaur. He wore a pair of feathers by his horn, and had an impassive face, looking at ease even with being so huge..

The final member was...a dragon, and not a kind-looking baby dragon, like Spike. This one was an adult, probably 15 feet tall, towering over everypony else like a skyscraper, his scales a lava red, his underbelly and inner wings a steel-gray. He had a scarred, haughty face and yellow eyes. I didn’t want to have to look at him as I took my own place, between him and the buffalo, per Ironmane’s suggestion.

“Welcome, delegates,” said Ironmane, in his clipped tone. “I thank you for attending this meeting today, especially considering the fact that some of you may have been out celebrating last night. This shan’t be a lengthy meeting, but merely a formality, as we have two new members among our ranks. Let us go around and introduce ourselves, shall we? I believe we should begin with Her Majesty.”

So she was a princess. Everyone briefly inclined their heads in respect as she stood up.

“Well, I am Princess Cadence,” she said, “and I have been helping my aunt Celestia as an ambassador across and outside Equestria. I was invited to take part in this council once I had come of age, and have been ever since. I hope to continue bringing peace between our tribes for many years to come.”

(Cadence? Where have I heard that name before?...Feels like I ought to- Wait, I know! Cadence! Twilight’s old foalsitter, and her brother’s wife! He married a princess?! Holy cow!)

Ironmane then turned his attention to the donkey, who nodded.

“I am Cornelius, of Fillydelphia” he said, in a creaky voice. “I’ve served this council for 60 years, and have always done what I could to serve Her Royal Highness. I may not be a pony per se, but we donkeys still hold much respect and gratitude toward the two princesses.”

(Well, they do say experience comes with age.)

Ironmane cleared his throat.

“I am Ironmane, the Minister of Foreign Affairs. I have been on-staff for Princess Celestia for more than 40 years, and it has always been my duty to ensure there is nothing to threaten the safety and security of Her Highness or our nation.”

(More than 40 years, huh? How many ponies have had to endure your stick-up-your-flank attitude?)

Ironmane turned his attention to the pegasus.

“You can call me Eagle Eye,” she said, in a tough voice that suited her countenance. “I’m representing the pegasi, and have been part of this council for 15 years. I’ve seen my fair share of skirmishes between locals and foreigners, and have always counted on being able to scout out trouble from afar before it heats up, though I can say those who don’t back off when I say so are never lucky.”

(She could probably kick my butt with both wings tied behind her back.)

Ironmane turned to the Earth pony, who sat up straighter.

“Name’s Sure Shot, from Manehattan,” he said, in a voice marked with a Brooklyn accent. “I’ve been here for about 11 years. I’ve seen a lot of gang activity in my neck of the woods, and, let’s face it, I ain’t been too innocent myself. Still, if I can stop our upcoming generation from following in those hoofsteps, that’s good enough for me.”

(A gangster with morals? Isn’t that rare?)

Ironmane nodded and turned to the griffin, who drew himself up and cleared his throat.

“As for myself,” he said, in a manner of speech that would have made him welcome in Canterlot, “I am Apollo Ignatius Griffellow II, or Apollo G., for short, though I prefer simply Apollo. I am here representing the Griffin Kingdom, and have served this council for 10 years, taking on the role my illustrious father before me had. I have always sought to end violent altercations between individuals through calm and diplomatic discourse. When that does not work, I have no choice but to result to sterner methods of pacification”

(Wow, what a windbag.)

Ironmane turned to the minotaur.

“I go by Rock Solid, and I originate from San Palomino,” he said. “For 8 years, I’ve been a part of this council. In my past, I’ve been a bodyguard to many distinguished nobles, and I wish to employ my skills for the security of Equestria.”

(With muscles like that, you’d have to be an idiot to try and fight him.)

Ironmane then turned to the buffalo.

“I am known as Rolling Stone,” he said, in a deep, rumbling voice, “representing my brethren in the wilds outside the Appleloosan settlement. I have been a member of this council a mere 5 years, and was unfortunate enough to see the brief but violent Appleloosan Skirmish over a year ago. My kin and the settler ponies have long since come to a compromise, but I have always, even before then, sought to respect the ideals and opinions of cultures outside ours.”

(Huh. I kinda like this guy. He’s got a cool voice.)

Ironmane then turned to me. I could see by now that the order was from who had been on the council the longest to who was new. It wasn’t comforting to be sitting beside the newest guy when it was a dragon. It took me a bit to work up the nerve, but I finally said,

“Er, my name’s David, but you can call me Dave, for short. As you might have guessed, I’m a human, and not actually native to Equestria.”

I paused, trying to find the right thing to say. Everyone else was looking at me, as if asking me to go on.

“Is that it?” the dragon asked, in an amused voice.

“Silence,” said Ironmane, calmly but coldly. “Let him speak.”

Hearing Ironmane actually speak in my defense was something new. It gave me a boost of resolve. With a more confident tone of voice, I said,

“I may not have much to offer by battle experience or diplomatic discourse. However, what I can say is that I have never appreciated seeing anyone being treated unjustly or unfairly, especially when it’s being done just for the sake of being a jerk. It’s my hope to be able to do what I can to show people like that why they can’t just...do that. It may not be much, but it’s what I’m wholeheartedly willing to offer.”

I stopped, looking about at the other delegates. Ironmane’s mouth looked less thin than usual, almost as if he were wanting to smile, but was keeping himself from doing so.

“Well said, my good fellow,” said Apollo, pompously. “You are a lad of pluck, I can see that plain as day.”

“Not bad, beanpole,” said Eagle Eye, smirking. “A little Miss Equestria-ish, but I can’t fault ya for having your heart in the right place.”

“Admirable,” said Rolling Stone, simply.

The others nodded their approval. Princess Cadence smiled sweetly. It looked like I had dodged a bullet. Even the dragon elevated his brows in a way that suggested he was impressed.

Ironmane nodded to him, and he placed one gnarled fist on the table.

“Brutus is my name,” he said. “I represent the dragons. For years, we’ve been satisfied keeping our business separate from that of other Equestrians. You could do as you please as long as you didn’t get in the way of our business.”

“And what brings you on board this council in the first place?” asked Eagle Eye.

“Eh?” grunted Brutus.

“I’m curious as well,” said Apollo. “You dragons have proven very much satisfied with attending to your own affairs. Why, now, do you choose to represent your kind as part of a foreign relations council?”

Brutus merely shrugged and said,

“I just figured enough was enough. My people are always being given a bad reputation just for being what we’re born to be. The dragon race was born to conquer, to crush our opposition, to reap the spoils of our victories! I thought Equestria might benefit from a little draconic backup to its armed forces.”

“In exchange for gemstones, of course,” Ironmane said, offhandedly.

“Of course,” said Brutus, bluntly. “Equestria’s soil is chock-full, so why not share the spoils? You hardly use them for anything worthwhile anyway.”

“I know a fashionista in Ponyville who uses them for her clothing designs,” I added, in a slightly irritated tone.

“That so? Well, I guess they’re pretty to look at and good eatin’.”

(E-yuck...I don’t wanna imagine what gems actually taste like.)

“Say, wait a minute,” Brutus mused, scratching his chin as he gazed at me. “I feel like I’ve seen your face before. Weren’t you in the papers?”

“Er, yes. A couple times,” I muttered.

“Ha!” he barked. “I knew you looked familiar! You’re the guy who got drunk on cider! Well, I’ve always enjoyed a frosty one now and then. Maybe sometime, you and I could grab a couple. I know a great joint with brews that’ll turn your head! Course, it might be a little much for someone who goes tipsy on apple cider.”

(Yeah, I think I’ll pass on that, thanks.)

“That is enough,” said Ironmane. “You are all now acquainted with each other, and know what you stand for. I do regret, unfortunately, having two empty chairs at our Round Table.”

I looked about. Sure enough, two chairs were unoccupied around the table, so coated with dust that they looked like they were painted white. I would have thought they were that color, if I hadn’t already seen that the chairs were polished brown wood.

“Who occupied those seats, Minister?” I asked.

Ironmane glanced at me, then heaved a sigh.

“Members belonging to two races sadly lost to time, David,” he said. “One was for the Crystal Empire, of which even Princess Celestia possesses scant knowledge, but has been lost for over 1000 years.”

“A thousand-!” I began, impressed.

“Indeed. And the other was for Aquastria, the capital of the Seapony race. The distinguished Seaponies have long disappeared, and some go so far as to call them a fairy tale.”

That was unbelievable! To think that not just one, but two civilizations still had places at the council despite being absent for 1000 years!

“Some would have gone far enough to say humans were a fairy tale,” said Eagle Eye, “until you came along, beanpole.”

“Indeed,” said Apollo. “You are a piece of history, dear boy, an article of a time long since forgotten. We are fortunate to have such as part of our ranks.”

“Hey now, Apollo,” said Sure Shot, “let’s not make him out to be some kinda collectible.”

“In all honesty,” I said, somewhat embarrassed, “I feel a little overwhelmed. I don’t even begin to equal any of you in your experience. Just to have you satisfied with my being here is more than I could ask for.”

“Ah, don’t be so modest, Mr. Popular,” said Brutus, bending down to give me a punch on the arm that all but dislocated my shoulder.

“Very well, then,” said Ironmane. “All I have more to say is, welcome to our two newest members, David and Brutus. Also, I wish to impose a reminder of what it is you are required to do for this council. You may receive assignments that will ask you to perform missions of diplomacy towards Equestrian and non-Equestrian individuals you may encounter. If we here at the castle detect anything of the sort within your district, I shall have instructions sent to you via the nearest correspondence system. If the situation becomes more than you can handle, send word to me, and I shall arrive as quick as I can to resolve the issue. Other than that, I leave it to you settle your affairs as you see fit. Understood?”

“Yes, Minister,” everyone said.

“Excellent. Meeting adjourned.”

Everyone got to their feet. Brutus, not waiting for anyone, immediately headed out the door.

“Quite a brusque fellow, isn’t he?” asked Apollo of Rolling Stone.

“The dragons have been in conflict with ponies for years,” said Rolling Stone, sagely. “He is merely needing time to adjust. He may come around to our ways soon enough.”

“Yeah, or he may burn this place to the ground and ransack the royal treasury,” said Eagle Eye. “I’m not too keen on having a dragon on the council, either. Then again, Ironmane and Princess Celestia have never been wrong.”

Ironmane merely inclined his head, in a way that said he neither confirmed nor denied the compliment. As much as his attitude towards me had improved slightly, there were still some things I didn’t like about him.

As everyone else was leaving, I stopped Princess Cadence.

“Er, Your Highness?”

She stopped and turned to me.

“Yes?”

“Er, hi. We’ve never actually met before today, but I’m well acquainted with your sister-in-law, Twilight Sparkle.”

Cadence’s eyes lit up.

“Oh, you are? How wonderful! You’re from Ponyville, then?”

“Yes, I am, after a fashion. It’s where I’m staying, anyways.”

“Excellent! It’s been ages since I’ve seen Twilight. Shining Armor and I have been busy with other matters after our honeymoon, but Aunt Celestia called me back to see the new members brought into the council. I’m sure you’re going to do just fine.”

“Well, er, thank you very much, Your Highn-”

“Please, David. You can just call me Cadence.”

I couldn’t help but smile. She was so kind, so easy-tempered. Why did fiction always have to make royalty so stuck-up and snobbish compared to what was before me?

“Thank you, Cadence.”

“Good day, Minister,” she said, turning to Ironmane.

“Good day, Princess,” said Ironmane, inclining his head.

With that, she departed, and Ironmane and I were the only ones left. As I made for the door, he stopped me.

“David.”

“Yes, Minister?”

“You conducted yourself very maturely, for one new to the field.”

“I’m not as new as that dragon,” I retorted.

“True. Still, this is a rare occasion. Brutus was one of the few dragons in Equestrian history willing to compromise with ponykind. He may have some other motive for doing so, of course-”

“Like gems?”

“Precisely, but I have to trust that he may provide insight this council requires. It may do our historians good to have a dragon’s insight for once, and that is an incredibly rare thing indeed.”

“I see. Well, Princess Celestia made the call, sir, and all we can do is trust her judgement.”

“Well put. Very well, David, you are dismissed. And, incidentally, in the case of an emergency, I shall send your correspondence through Twilight Sparkle’s dragon. He is the closest and swiftest connection Ponyville has, beyond the post..”

“That works fine. Good day, Minister.”

“Good day.”

I left the council room, feeling elated at having gone through the meeting with very little incident, but also nervous about having to share the council with a dragon, especially one that big. Hopefully, I wouldn’t have to be in contact with him very often; I wouldn’t exactly jump at the chance to send him an S.O.S. for a hairy situation.

With all this in mind, I headed for the castle entrance, knowing what was waiting for me out there: my return trip in that flying carriage. Even when I had entered, I hadn’t seen any sign of Princess Celestia. This shouldn’t have surprised me, as she was most likely busy with...princess business, whatever that consisted of.

Sure enough, the carriage was out there waiting at the gates, and the guard was still harnessed to it. This guy had remarkable patience to stand out there for that long with nothing to do.

“Welcome back, sir,” he said, as I climbed in and put my hat and cane at my feet. “I take it your business went well?”

“Yeah, better than expected,” I said. “Well, let’s get this over with, and can we go a little slower?”

“Sorry, sir, one speed only, per regulations,” said the guard.

“Oh, joy,” I muttered. “All right, whenever you’re ready.”

The guard spread his wings, worked himself into a gallop, and took off for Ponyville. I swear, if I even had any lunch with me, I’d have lost it by now.
> Operation: Car
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Still feeling woozy from the ride, I thanked the guard for the transport and went inside my home to change. Once I was back in my street clothes, I took a walk to the Ponyville marketplace to see if I could find a stall that sold calendars. Frankly, I had no idea why I had put it off for so long, but if I was going to live in Equestria, I was gonna have to keep track of anything that might be coming up.

As I entered town, it took me a while to notice, but the streets were deserted. The streamers, banners, even the stage was gone, save for some mislaid decorations that nopony had bothered to pick up yet. There were very few, if any, ponies about, and even they still looked a little drowsy. I guess they were still trying to sleep off Nightmare Night.

“Hiya, Davie!”

I stopped short and looked toward the source of the voice. Pinkie was bouncing past, wearing a yellow tank top, green shorts, leg warmers, and a headband. I had never known her to exercise before, so the attire was a little amusing to see on her. Still, it must have been a regular thing for her, because she looked like she had already burned off the pudge she had gotten from last night. How was that even possible?

“Hey, Pinkie! Good to see you up and about. Looks like everypony else is still drowsy.”

“Yeah, they’re a little party-pooped,” said Pinkie. “I was, too, but I’m just out getting my Pinkie-cise done, since I missed it this morning.”

“Pinkie-cise?”

“It’s when I work myself out to be the Pinkiest I can be!”

(The Pinkiest you can be? How much more Pinkie can a Pinkie Pie be?)

“Well, it looks like it’s doing you good. You’re looking hale and hearty.”

“Thanks! Know what’s even better?”

“What?”

“Whenever I Pinkie-cise, I’m in the mood for a cupcake right afterwards! Can I get a ‘bo-nus’!”

She smiled expectantly at me for a moment or two, before I finally took the hint.

“Er, bo-nus!” I chorused. “Don’t let me keep you, Pinkie. I was just off to buy a calendar.”

“Ohh, ok! See you later, Davie!”

And with that, she bounded away, humming what sounded like ‘Eye of the Tiger’.

“Should I even be surprised anymore?” I muttered to myself. “She’s always gonna top the craziest thing I’ve ever seen her do.”


***


After a bit of searching, I was able to finally purchase an Equestrian calendar for 8 bits, but I would have to renew it in a couple months, since we were already in November. It seemed Nightmare Night did correspond with Halloween, being on the last day of October. However, with the Equestrian calendar, there were only 4 weeks in each month, making exactly 28 days a month. It probably wouldn’t take too much to get used to, being so uniform. It actually sounded like something that would suit a pony like Twilight or Rarity, those two being so neat and tidy.

Come to think of it, I was in the area. It wouldn’t hurt to drop by the library. Maybe I could check up on the Daring Do series, and even tell Twilight about the meeting. I’d bet she’d be interested to know about the delegates.

Filled with this idea, I pulled an abrupt about-face and headed for the library.


***


At first, no one answered when I knocked on the door. Then, finally, Spike opened it, a broom held in his claw.

“Oh! Hi, Dave! What brings you here?”

“Hey, Spike. Is Twilight home? I need to ask her something.”

“Yeah, of course! She’s upstairs. I’m just doing a little sweeping, but you can come in.”

“Thanks.”

I stepped inside. Owlowiscious was floating above the floor with a dustpan held in his talons. He seemed to be assisting Spike with sweeping. How generous.

I did indeed find Twilight upstairs. She was engrossed in a book floating right in front of her muzzle. The cover read, in elegant cursive, The Spellcaster’s Guide to Advanced Unicorn Magic. She didn’t seem to have noticed my coming in.

“Very uncanny,” she muttered. “The effects match perfectly, but then-”

“Twilight?”

Twilight yelped, snapping the book shut. Her eyes fell on me, and she relaxed.

“Oh! Dave, it’s you. You shouldn’t sneak up on me like that.”

“Sorry. I just wanted to drop by and see how you’ve been.”

“Of course! Please, have a seat.”

She patted a spot on the bed beside her. I ascended the small stairway leading to her loft and sat down next to her.

“How did your meeting go? Did you meet all the delegates?”

“Yes, I did. To an extent,” I added, remembering the empty chairs.

“Great! Who was all there? I wonder if there’s been any other new additions since the last time I heard.”

“Well, there was somepony there that I think you’d be happy to hear about.”

“Oh? Who?”

“Princess Cadence.”

Twilight’s eyes widened in surprise.

“Cadence?” she breathed, in an excited tone. “You got to meet Cadence? Oh my gosh, you’re so lucky! I had no idea she was part of the Round Table!”

“You said she was your foalsitter?”

“Mm-hmm! Next to Shining Armor, she was the closest thing to a friend I had as a filly. She’s the only pony I’ve ever met who’s been able to spread love and kindness wherever she goes.”

“Wow. She sounds really special, and your brother is one lucky guy, marrying a pony like that.”

Twilight beamed.

“She did come across as a very sweet pony when I saw her at the council,” I continued, “and she did sound quite fond of you when I mentioned I was a friend of yours. She said she and Shining Armor have been tied up with other matters since their honeymoon, but came back to meet the new delegates.”

“Ohh, I see. Well, I hope they’re doing fine, whatever they’re up to.”

“She said she’d love to come see you one of these days.”

“She did? That would be wonderful!” Twilight gushed. “It feels so long since we’ve seen each other!” 

For a moment or two, she just sat there, mentally basking in the idea of her sister-in-law seeing her again. It was really sweet.

“So, who else was on the council?” she finally asked.

“Well, let’s see...”

I described each of the council members, and Twilight filled in some blanks, as she knew some of the more senior members.

Cornelius was an author, and a traveler in his youth. He had written several books, including Earth Below and Sky Above, which was an insight on how ground-bound equines and pegasi were much more similar than ponies generally think.

Eagle Eye had been the captain of a small sports team of fliers, though not quite in the same league as the Wonderbolts. Despite that, she was actually acquainted with several of the ‘Bolts, being on good terms with Spitfire herself. Before that, she had served as an aerial guard, a job which toughened her already-steely nature. Her militaristic but fair attitude made her an inspiration among her crew, who both revered and feared her. After joining the council, she continued on as her team’s coach, her agenda not altering one bit.

Sure Shot, also known as Capony’s Colt, had once been a notorious hit-stallion, feared on Manehattan’s East Side. However, something inexplicable happened that made him go straight, and now he was using his talents for the good of ponykind. Ponies wondered why he converted, but he never gave the same answer twice in a row.

Apollo, as well as his father before him, was a wealthy aristocrat and philanthropist. The Griffellow family had always been respected in the Griffin Kingdom, as well as Equestria, for their charitable donations to society and gala events.

The only ones she didn’t seem that knowledgeable about were Rock Solid and Rolling Stone. She did admire the fact that Rolling Stone was willing to represent the buffalo for Equestria, especially after what happened in Appleloosa, and could understand a minotaur like Rock Solid being a formidable bodyguard. The one she was really surprised about, however, was Brutus.

“A dragon? Princess Celestia got a dragon for the council?”

She sounded both intrigued and surprised.

“Yeah, and not a pony-sized one like Spike,” I said. “I’m talking 15 feet tall, fangs, claws, the whole shebang!”

“Well, what’s he like?”

“He’s...well, to be honest, he’s not exactly a brute. He’s just kind of abrasive, a little rough around the edges. Kind of a wiseacre.”

“Hmm,” murmured Twilight. “Well, if Princess Celestia thinks Equestria will benefit from his input, I shouldn’t argue. This is a rather historic event, having a dragon cooperate with the Equestrian cabinet.”

“Well, he said he wanted to stop the misconception that dragons were savages, to show the world they’re creatures of honor and valor, and because he might get gems out of it.”

“Well, that’s a given, unfortunately,” said Twilight. “Nothing surpasses a dragon’s affinity for treasure and gemstones. But, if he’s willing to give what he knows for the benefit of Equestria, I can only stand by the princess’s choice.”

“Then I guess I’ll have to as well.”

We sat in silence for some time, until I finally asked,

“So, what was that you were reading when I came in?”

“Hmm? Oh! It’s a book on advanced spells!”

She held it up in her telekinesis, showing off the elaborate hard cover marked with miniature stars.

“It never hurts to brush up on higher magic. I have the feeling Princess Celestia may give me some tougher assignments in the future, and I want to be ready.”

“Sounds cool! Is that where you found the ‘Send Home’ spell?”

“Yes, actually. I still wish it wasn’t so darned specific. I’ve been charting the night sky, but there’s been no progress as of yet.”

“Oh. Well, I’m grateful that you’re at least monitoring for me, Twi.”

She smiled gently.

“Has Rainbow Dash sent you the Daring Do book she borrowed yet?” she asked.

“No, not yet.”

“Well, she’d better if you want to keep up with the series. A reader should never skip installments, especially when the plots stay connected with each other between volumes.”

“Yeah, I can imagine. I once did that with movies and their sequels: not a pretty feeling, I can tell you.”

Twilight giggled, then her eyes fell on the calendar I’d just bought.

“Oh, you got yourself a calendar?”

“Yeah. To be honest, I should have gotten it a lot sooner. I figure it’ll help me keep track of when Ironmane-”

“Minister Ironmane, Dave,” said Twilight, in a corrective tone.

“Er, right. When Minister Ironmane sends me an assignment.”

“Well, that sounds good, but you know what else you could do with it?” she asked, an oddly enthusiastic gleam in her eye.

“What?”

“Set a monthly goal.”

“Monthly goal?”

“Yes. What you want to do is set a goal for the end of the month and work to achieve it. For example, for November, you could say ‘I want to read 5 new books by the end of the month’, or ‘I want to lose 10 pounds by the end of the month’. All you need is a reasonable achievement to strive for, and you’ll have your days occupied with trying to meet it. You’ll never lack for activity that way.”

“Hmm...you know, that’s actually not a bad idea. All I really need now are some realistic goals. I’m already tearing apart the Daring Do library of books, though I suppose I could stand to lose a few pounds. It actually sounds doable when I say it out loud.”

“Then that’s the first step to a successful goal,” said Twilight, encouragingly.

“Awesome! Thanks a bunch, Twi.”

“Anytime, Dave.”

She smiled up at me, but her smile slowly faded from her face. I had no idea why, but her expression became...faintly curious, as if she had just thought of something.

“Twi? Something wrong?”

The look faded away almost instantly.

“No, nothing. Just a funny idea. Nothing you need to worry about.”

(The heck was that all about? Did I have something on my face?)

“Well, I guess I better get started, then,” I said. “Thanks again for the advice, Twi.”

“Of course, Dave. You’re always welcome to stop by if you need anything. Take care!”

I stepped down from the bed and took my leave. As I descended the stairs, I saw that Twilight had immersed herself in that spell book again, and was probably deaf to all distractions about her once again.


***


I had barely set foot outside the library before I heard a familiar voice coming up the street.

“Dave! Hey!”

Scootaloo rode into view on her scooter, Dinky riding behind in a little red wagon, and both wearing bike helmets. Turning sharply into a skid-slide, the little motorist pulled to a halt at my feet.

“Hey, girls,” I said. “You’re looking chipper today.”

“We’ve got a Crusaders meeting!” Scootaloo announced.

“At O-now-hundred hours!” chirped Dinky.

Chuckling slightly at her attempt at military lingo, I saluted and said,

“Lead the way.”

Scootaloo grinned at being given leader status, turned her scooter around, and buzzed off once more, while I jogged behind. Over the whir of Scoot’s wings, I heard her say something to Dinky.

“...totally excited! Didn’t you see her?”

“Yeah! And I think he’s....and a bow tie, too!”

“I know!”

What were they talking about? It seemed to involve two ponies, a male and female, both of whom seemed to be in good spirits about something. Then again, it was probably something I shouldn’t stick my nose in, so I concentrated on keeping up with the fillies.


***


When we got to the clubhouse, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle were already seated around the table. The Hooves sisters and I joined them.

“Glad y’all could make it,” said Apple Bloom. “We have a special announcement to make. Sweetie Belle?”

“Thank you, Apple Bloom,” said Sweetie Belle, standing up. “Crusaders, the Ponyville Junior Derby is set for the end of November, and every foal in town is gonna be making their own cart. The way I see it, this could be our next big chance to earn our cutie marks. We’re gonna be...Cutie Mark Crusaders Race Car Drivers!”

“Yay!” chorused the other fillies.

“Yay?” I joined in, a little late.

This drew their attention to me.

“Do you have an objection, Crusader Dave?” asked Sweetie Belle, in a curious tone, not a demanding one.

“Well, not so much an objection, but a question.”

“Hmm?”

“Have either of you ever raced before?”

“Sure!” said Scootaloo. “I’ve raced other foals plenty of times! No one can beat the Sonic Afterburner!”

“Sonic Afterburner?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

“It’s what I call my ride,” said Scootaloo, proudly. “Fastest four wheels in Ponyville!”

“Sure, scooters are fine, but what about cars? I know we’re just talking pedal power or something, but does anypony else have any driving experience? If you all want cutie marks in racing, shouldn’t all of you have some kind of racing prowess?”

The fillies looked at each other for a moment, then Apple Bloom said,

“How hard can it be? Just like ridin’ a bicycle, right?”

“Well-”

“Besides, it’s like you said,” said Sweetie Belle, “the Cutie Mark Crusaders aren’t afraid of anything!”

“Did I? I suppose I recall-”

“So then why should we be scared of car racing?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Well, the thing about that is-”

“It’s unanimous, then!” said Apple Bloom. “Our next Crusade is gonna be: car racing!”

The fillies cheered, while I just sat there in dumbfoundment. They hadn’t heard a word I’d said!

“Any other questions, Dave?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Er, yeah, just one more,” I said. “Since Scootaloo’s scooter, the, uh, ‘Sonic Afterburner’, isn’t exactly a car, what vehicle are you girls entering?”

The smiles faded from their muzzles.

“You don’t have a car, do you?” I asked, flatly.

“No,” they said, unanimously.

“Can we use yours?” asked Dinky.

“Me? I don’t have one. Even if I did back home where I come from, I wouldn’t be able to drive. I don’t have my license.”

The girls appeared to become downcast by this information.

“But,” I added, hastily, “what’s to stop us from building a car ourselves? You said this derby was at the end of November?”

The four nodded.

“Perfect! Then the five of us will work together to build a car for the team: a car fit for the Cutie Mark Crusaders!”

Their little faces lit up with excitement.

“It’ll take some effort,” I conceded, “but the best things often do. What we need is materials, and money to get said materials. I think if the five of us pool our resources and work together, we can make it happen! Are you with me?”

“Yeah!” they cried in unison.

“I can’t hear you!”

“Yeah!”

“ONE MORE TIME!”

“YEAH!!”

“That’s the spirit I like to see!”

“Then it’s settled!” said Sweetie Belle, her cute little face aglow. “Our new mission: build a Cutie Mark Crusaders Cart in time for the derby! Mark it where you can see it, Crusaders! Like Dave said, this is going to be a team effort! Understand?”

“Eeyup!” said Apple Bloom.

“Uh-huh!” said Scootaloo.

“Yep!” said Dinky.

“Aye-aye!” I said.

“Great! Meeting adjourned!”

The five of us stood up and began to descend the ladder leading up to and down from the clubhouse.

“This is gonna be the bestest car ever!” Dinky said, excitedly.

“Of course it will be!” said Scootaloo. “It’ll have ‘us’ written all over it!”

Dinky paused, looking puzzled.

“Why would we write ‘us’ all over it?” she asked.

“No, what I meant was-” Scootaloo began, then thought about it before saying, “Never mind.”

“You really think we can do it, Dave?” asked Apple Bloom.

“As if you need to ask,” I said, confidently. “A month is plenty of time to put a good car together, if you know how. I’ve seen a bunch of stuff happen in at least a month that I didn’t think I could have experienced if it took a year.”

“Well, then, Ah know it’s gonna be great!” said Apple Bloom.

“We’ve got to think about decorating it,” said Sweetie Belle. “Maybe Rarity could give us ideas. We could paint it all sorts of neat colors!” 

“Ooh! We could give it racing stripes!” said Scootaloo. “Or lightning bolts! Or flames! Or-”

“Slow down there, girls,” I said. “Let’s save that for when we actually have something like a car built.”

“Oh. Ok!” said the two.

It was great to see them so excited about something like this, but to be perfectly honest, what did I know about building, or even driving, a car? Was a month long enough to find out either of those?


***


“I had no idea I’d be implementing Twilight’s monthly objective system so soon. Still, it’s something.”

I had returned home after the Crusaders meeting and hung up my new calendar. November’s picture featured a hilly landscape at dusk, decorated with trees bearing brown and orange foliage. On the 28th, I wrote, in ink,

“Help Crusaders build car for derby”

Now, there was only one more problem looming in my face: where the heck was I going to get money for materials? We’d need wood for the frame, wheels, a steering wheel, pedals or some kind of propulsion, besides who knows what else. This wasn’t just gonna be some elementary school science fair project. This was gonna take time and money. The former we had, but the latter? That was going to take a bit of effort. I couldn’t just splurge everything I had from Ironmane’s stipendiary payments on materials. I had to set up a kind of economic system.

A savings jar! That was easy enough: a little jar set aside for the derby car. They did that on TV all the time.

So I set up a glass jar, labelling it ‘CMC Car’ and dropped a few bits into it. It sounded kind of hollow, hearing the bits plunk straight to the bottom like that. Still, every project had to start somewhere, and this was as good a start as any. I couldn’t let the girls down. 

We were going to build the best darned derby car Ponyville had ever seen!
> The Haggler's Way to A Better Bargain
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day, I decided it would be prudent for us to try and get a good idea of how many bits we would need for all the supplies necessary. We were going to need lumber to construct the frame of the car, plus tires, a steering wheel, paint, and whatever was needed for proper propulsion. I wasn’t exactly a builder type, so I only had a vague idea of the basics needed for a project like this.

With that in mind, I headed into Ponyville to seek the local hardware store. The more I looked about, the more I saw ponies putting on scarves or jackets. With the way weather worked around here, I wondered how abruptly winter would come about. 

As I looked about, I saw that there was something different in the rows of buildings: Trixie’s caravan. It seemed she had carried out her vow to move her wagon into town when she was accepted once again. I even fancied that she had laid down a welcome mat at its steps, along with some potted plants. She was coming a long way from the reclusive, snide show mare she had been when we first met.

“Vinyl, let go!”

I stopped. That was Octavia’s voice.

“But Octy, you can’t go! It feels like you just got here!”

And that was Vinyl, but I had never heard her whine like that before. She was holding onto one of Octavia’s hind legs, dragging pathetically along the ground as the prim cellist tried to walk. It looked like Vinyl had finally gotten rid of the cast on her leg, though with all the dragging she was going through, she might do more damage to it. Octavia was looking very impatient.

“Vinyl, for the last time, you’re fine,” she said, firmly. “With your leg all healed up, you can go back to the way things were. You won’t have to put up with me playing nursemaid for you.”

“Man, no fair,” pouted Vinyl. “Just when I was getting used to it, too.”

“What, you liked having me fuss over you, tell you when to go to bed, feed you?” Octavia asked, incredulously. “Very rich, coming from Miss ‘Forget-the-Rules-I-Have-Wubs’ herself.”

“It was just fun having somepony else do my stuff for me,” said Vinyl, smiling in a cheeky way. Octavia was not amused, and voiced it with a frustrated sigh and a stamp of her back hoof, which shook Vinyl off. The cellist turned and pulled Vinyl into a sitting posture.

“It’s not that I don’t want to be with you, you childish oaf of a unicorn,” she said, patiently. “I just have to return home. I’m already behind on a lot, no thanks to you. I’ll come back to visit as soon as I can, all right?”

“Yeah, all right,” Vinyl grumbled. Then she said, in that teasing voice of hers, “Do I at least get a smooch goodbye?”

Octavia looked like she wanted to hit her very badly, but restrained herself.

“You’re impossible,” she finally said.

“Aw, c’mon, Octy, you know I’m just yanking your cello strings,” said Vinyl, in a friendlier tone.

“Yes, yes, I know,” said Octavia, finally allowing herself a little smile.

“Now, see, there’s the Octavia I like,” said Vinyl. “Not the sour, grumpy Octy.”

She pulled a very exaggerated grump face that looked like what you’d see on some doughy CEO who hated his work. Octavia rolled her eyes.

“Just get over here,” she said, holding her forelegs open.

Vinyl responded by giving her classy friend a big bear hug that all but knocked the wind out of her, but Octavia patted her pal’s back, released her, then turned to go. It was then that the two noticed me.

“Oh! Dave!” said Octavia. “We really must stop seeing each other like this.”

“How much of that did you see?” Vinyl asked, abruptly and somewhat severely.

“Er-” I began, before Vinyl got right up into my face.

“You breathe a word of what you just saw, and I’ll give you a ‘personalized’ Wub-Meister wake-up call! I do house calls, after all.”

“Vinyl!” snapped Octavia.

The next instant, however, Vinyl burst into a hearty laugh. This pony was so bi-polar it wasn’t even funny.

“I wouldn’t do that to ya, dude,” she said. “I just wanted to see the look on your face. Priceless!”

“Glad you’re taking freedom of all your limbs well,” I said, relieved.

“Well, as ‘hilarious’ as this has been,” said Octavia, “I mustn’t miss my train. Vinyl, Dave, adieu.”

“Goodbye, Octavia,” I said.

“See ya, Octy!” said Vinyl, as Octavia trotted off in the direction of the train station. She then turned back to me.

“Ya gotta lighten up, bro-ski. You’re way too skittish.”

“Well, I didn’t know if you really were the kind who took offense to stuff like that.”

“Eh, nothing really fazes me,” said Vinyl, dismissively. “Most of my pals know I’m just joking around when I make threats like that. It’s all in good fun, unless it’s somepony who really deserves it.”

(God have mercy on that poor somepony’s soul.)

“Well, it’s good to see you out and about, at any rate.”

“Thanks, man. Shame I had to lose my sweet wheelchair and Octy, but I can’t wait to start spinnin’ at the club again. You gotta check out one of my shows, bro! Monday-Saturday, 8 PM at Club Scratch!”

“Club Scratch?”

“Right across from the cafe. Can’t miss it.”

“I’ll be sure to check it out one of these days.”

“Sweet. Catch ya later!”

She trotted off, humming to what sounded like a dubstep beat. She was pretty weird, but kinda fun to be around.

“Hello, Dave!” came a cheery voice, jolting me from my present thoughts.

It was Rose, who was giving her flowers a fresh sprinkle of water.

“Hi, Rose. How are you doing?”

“Very well, thanks. I’m just getting trying to sell the rest of my autumn flowers before I switch to my winter flowers: mahonias, daphnes, hellebores.”

“Sounds good. Say, do you happen to know where a hardware store is?”

“Hardware? Sure! Timber’s Lumber, just across from the music store, Serenede’s.”

(Timber’s Lumber? What, no ‘Ink and Wood’ or something?)

“Thanks, Rose.”

“Mmhmm! Have a good day!”


***


Taking Rose’s directions, I picked out the store she had been talking about, an enormous wood-made building with a hammer and saw by way of signpost. Clever.

Stepping inside, I was met by the smell of freshly-sanded wood and polished floors, the kind that hits your nostrils when you walk into a store like Home Depot or the like. Like I said, I was no construction expert, so I only came to those stores when errands called for it, and I was the kind of guy who would stand around, bored out of my mind, while my parents browsed the aisles. Funny how I wouldn’t have to go through that while I was here.

“May I help you, sir?”

An Earth pony stallion wearing a green apron stepped forward, his coat orange and his mane sand yellow.

“Er, well, kind of,” I said. “See, I’m looking for supplies to help fashion a racing cart for foals, for the derby at the end of the month.”

“Ah, yes, I know about that,” said the stallion. “The Ponyville Junior Grand Prix, I believe.”

“So, would you happen to carry what I would need to hand-build a cart?”

“Certainly.”

“Great! And, how much would it cost me?”

“Depends.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well,  the derby rules allow one or two-seater carts for its participants, so it’s not just a matter of materials, but of how big it needs to be. Does that help?”

“Yeah. Let’s guesstimate on the cost of materials if we decided to go with a two-seater.”

“Very well. This may take a few moments.”

He drew a calculator from his pocket and began punching in some numbers, muttering as he did so.

“Lumber...paint...tires...carry the 5...Hmm.”

“So, how much?” I asked, cautiously.

“Make me an offer and we’ll see,” said the stallion.

“Er...between 100 and 200?” I ventured, hopefully.

The stallion looked at me for a moment, then said,

“That’s wishful thinking, bud, but ‘fraid not.”

“Ok, uh, 300?”

“Uh-uh.”

“350?”

“Keep going.”

“450?”

“Not quite.”

“...500?”

“Bud, if you want this thing to work right, you’d probably have to spend no less than 800 bits for materials, and that’s dependin’ on if you’ve already got the right power tools.”

“800?!” I spluttered. “Are you out of your mind?! Who’s supposed to make 800 bits-” I snapped my fingers for emphasis. “-just like that?!”

“You want this to be the best cart you can make, don’t you?”

“Well, naturally, but-”

“Then, in my professional opinion, that’s what it’d cost to make the kind you’d be wantin’.”

His tone told me he was not going to budge on this, so what was I supposed to do? 800 bits? That was insane!

“Well, thanks, anyway,” I muttered.

“Anytime, sport.”


***


I stepped out of the hardware store, wondering what the heck we were supposed to do. I doubted very much either of the other Crusaders had a ton of bits available. How were we going to finance this enterprise?

Almost immediately, I imagined the five of us behind a lemonade stand, trying to sell our ware at 50 bits a cup. No, no, the only way that would work is if the lemonade was insanely tasty. I doubted Applejack’s apple cider even cost anywhere near as close as that, if it even was marketed outside cider season.

Still, maybe that was the way to go: odd jobs. The five of us could do things around Ponyville for pay. Hopefully, we’d drum up enough in time to buy what we needed and start building. The girls wouldn’t object to that idea, hopefully, as there really were few other feasible options. Now, the question was, where would I find the girls on a nice Saturday like today?

“Hello, Dave!”

I knew that cultured voice. Looking to the right, I saw Rarity, who was trotting along with Spike, who was walking (or rather, floating) behind her, a glazed, lovestruck look in his eyes as he ferried along a plethora of shopping bags.

“Oh, hey, Rarity. What’s up?”

“I was just out for some weekend shopping, and Spikey-wikey was so generous as to offer to carry my bags.”

“Oh? Is that right, Spike?”

“Anything for my fair lady, Rarity,” Spike mumbled, in the voice of one who had been struck by about 7 of Cupid’s arrows.

“And what brings you out and about, darling?” Rarity asked.

“Just visiting the hardware store. I’m helping the Crusaders build a cart for a derby at the end of the month.”

“Ah, yes, I remember Sweetie Belle telling me about it. Just something else to add to her list of ‘could-be-cutie-marks’.”

“Do you know where she or the others might be today?”

“I’d imagine at Ponyville Park. It’s where foals tend to spend their Saturdays.”

“All right, I’ll check there, then. Thanks, Rarity.”

“Of course, dear.” 

She was about to move on when a thought came to her.

“I almost forgot,” she said, and from seemingly out of nowhere, she lifted up an earth-brown jacket with her magic, floating it over to me. “I made this for you just yesterday, seeing as how the weather’s getting colder. We wouldn’t want you to freeze, now would we?”

Gratefully, I took the coat and put it on. Immediately, I felt warm and snug.

“Besides that, it brings out the color of your eyes,” she added.

“Thanks a bunch, Rarity. This is great!”

“You’re very welcome, darling. Now, then, come along, Spike.”

“At your service, milady...”

Rarity and Spike went off on their way, while I headed in the direction of Ponyville Park.


***


The park was indeed full of foals at play, along with their parents or siblings. I could see three little fillies playing jump rope, a pair of foals playing hopscotch, and a pegasus and his son playing frisbee. The air was full of laughter and screams of joy, despite the oncoming chill.

At last, I spotted the four fillies, with Sparkler sitting on a picnic blanket and supervising. They were bouncing a beach ball around with their heads, though it was amazing how Dinky and Sweetie Belle were able to do so without popping the ball with their horns. From time to time, it would fly toward Sparkler, who gave it a bounce with her muzzle to keep the game going.

“Hey, Sparkler,” I said, coming over.

“Oh! Dave, hello! What brings you out here?”

“I need to speak to the girls. It’s about the car we’re planning to build for the derby.”

“Ah, that’s right! Dinky and Scoot told me about how you gave them the idea to build a cart from scratch!”

“Well, you know, I just thought it would add a more personal, Crusader-brand touch to have accomplished something like this by our own means. Hope that didn’t sound overly cheesy,” I added, meekly.

“No, no, not at all! I think it’s very sweet of you to want to help them out with it.”

“Well, see, that’s the thing. We’ve kinda hit a snag.”

“Hmm?”

“I went to see how much it would cost to buy materials to build a derby car, and the manager said it’d be 800 bits, at least.”

“800 bits?” asked Sparkler, aghast. “That’s outrageous!”

“I know! How are we supposed to rack up that much in one month?”

Sparkler considered for a moment, nodded to herself, then said,

“I’ll have a chat with this store owner. I might be able to make him change his mind.”

“Huh? I dunno, Sparkler, he seemed pretty set when he made his estimate.”

“Trust me, Dave. You have to have a few haggling skills in the jewelry business. Leave it to me.”

For the weirdest reason, I could have sworn I saw a flash of lightning strike behind her as she said this. However, a male voice, marked with a British accent, yelled right after, “Good, Derpy! Now, a little to the left!”

“Er, all right, if you say so,” I said.

I couldn’t see how such a sweet mare like Sparkler was going to do anything to overturn that store owner’s verdict, but if she said she could help, I had no right to argue against it.

“Girls?” Sparkler called.

The Crusaders stopped, the ball bouncing right off of Apple Bloom’s head, and they finally took notice of me.

“Hi, Dave!” they said in unison.

“Hey, kids. What are you up to?”

“We were playin’ with Rainbow Dash’s ball.” said Apple Bloom.

“We’re breaking it in, because our old one got popped,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Ahh, that’s a shame,” I said.

“We were playing to see who could keep the ball in the air as long as possible,” said Scootaloo. “We were gonna see if we could reach Rainbow Dash’s record!”

“Rainbow set a ball-bouncing record?”

“Yep! 350!” said Scootaloo, proudly.

“Ay carumba.”

“But I don’t think the ball wants us to break it,” said Dinky. “Meanie,” she added, casting an adorably angry look at the ball, as if it had personally offended her.

“Girls, we’re going to take a short trip to the hardware store,” said Sparkler, getting up.

The four groaned. In all honestly, I would have done the same if the errand hadn’t been my own.

“None of you have to go inside,” Sparkler went on, calmly and above their groans. “I’m just going to have a talk with somepony inside about what we’ll need to buy supplies for the cart.”

This flip-flopped their demeanor all at once. Now they were all ears and eager to listen.

“I knew you’d come around to the idea,” said Sparkler, smiling. “Now, come along.”

She led the way back toward Ponyville, while the four Crusaders walked alongside me. I was still curious to know what she was planning to say or do to turn the tide in our favor.


***


“You’re not gonna be hard on him, are you?” I asked, when we had arrived at the store. “He was probably just doing his job.”

“No, of course not. He’s just a stallion who drives a hard bargain when it comes to general assessments. He loves projects, but thinks he can determine his own price if you’re being too vague. Now, wait out here, and I’ll be right back.”

Sparkler stepped inside, leaving me with the kids outside.

“So, Scoot,” I said, casting around for something to say, “I’ve been meaning to ask, but how are your flying lessons going?”

“Great!” said Scootaloo. “I’m not quite there yet, but Mom and Rainbow Dash say I’ve been making great progress!”

“She has!” said Dinky, bouncing up. “Mama lets me watch, and Scootaloo’s getting really good!”

To demonstrate, Scootaloo flapped her wings rapidly, and I was surprised to see her lift off the ground for 1, 2, 3 seconds before settling back down.

“That’s great!” I said. “Soon, you’ll be soaring alongside Rainbow herself!”

Scootaloo looked overjoyed at such a prospect.

“So, she’s still been giving you lessons?”

“Yep. She says the stuff Mom’s teaching me is ‘soft stuff’ and wants me to move on to the more ‘hardcore’ tricks!”

“Bet that’s right up your alley, sport.”

“Heheh, yeah! But Mom said all fillies have to start with the basics, and was about to say something about Rainbow Dash’s early flying days, but she cut her off pretty quick and decided to help with the basics.”

“Ahh, sounds like Rainbow didn’t want any of her fillyhood secrets of success leaking out.”

Frankly, I had the feeling it was more along the lines of ‘embarrassing incident that Rainbow would either deny or hurt somepony over if it got leaked’. I could almost imagine a smaller Rainbow Dash crashing into clouds in her speedy, erratic flights.

Through the doors of the store, I could almost swear somepony’s voice was being raised in anger, rising to a fever pitch that, while incoherent, made my neck hairs tingle. Dinky seemed to have sensed it as well, as she rested up against my leg, and I could feel her shiver.

“What’s the matter, Dinky?” I asked. “You don’t like hearing ponies yell?”

“Uh-uh,” murmured Dinky.

“Yeah, me neither,” I said, leaning down to pat her mane consolingly.

A moment later, the doors opened, and Sparkler stepped out, along with Mr. Timber. He was looking very ashen-faced, like he was about to faint. Sparkler, on the other hand, was looking very sunny.

“Well, gang,” she said, brightly, “it wasn’t easy, but Mr. Timber and I were able to work out an agreement. Right?”

She turned to Timber, who swallowed and said,

“4 to 500 bits, and I’ll see what I can do.”

That was much better! It was still a lot to raise, but it was far more reasonable. Even the fillies looked elated at the news.

“Perfect!” said Sparkler. “Glad we had this talk, Mr. Timber. Come along, everyone.”

We left Mr. Timber, who was still looking like he had been petrified in the act of seeing something he could not easily unsee.

“Is he gonna be all right?” I asked Sparkler.

“Of course. Some hagglers just can’t withstand the secret weapon every barterer needs to have.”

“And what’s that?”

“Now, Dave, if I told you, it wouldn’t be a secret weapon, now would it?”

“So, what happens now?” asked Apple Bloom.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“We got the price range for what we need,” she said, “so how do we round up 500 bits?”

“I had just been thinking on that before I found you, my dears,” I said, sagely. “I’m thinking we could do some odd jobs around Ponyville, help ponies out. I’ve got a savings jar ready for our collection. If we all work hard and contribute, we can make it happen in time.”

“Now there’s an idea!” said Scootaloo.

“Every bit counts,” I said, “so pitch in as much as you can.”

“Well, we don’t have that much ourselves,” said Dinky, a little dejectedly.

“Doesn’t matter, kiddo. Every little bit counts. Why, those few bits you toss in could make all the difference in the end.”

“Really?” asked Dinky.

“Sure! Why, I’ll bet you anything we’ll look back on this day and say, ‘You know what saved us in the end? Those couple bits Dinky Hooves put in for the cause. Without her help, where would we have gotten?’”

Dinky seemed to like the sound of that, as her face lit up like the morning sun. Sparkler smiled tenderly at me for making her sister happy.

“Onward, Crusaders!” I crowed.

“Onward!” they cried in unison.


***


Altogether, it wasn’t too bad of a start. I brought the jar to the Crusaders clubhouse, while the others went to round up whatever change they had. Along with the 3 I had already put in, Apple Bloom was able to contribute her own 5, Sweetie Belle 7, and Scootaloo and Dinky pooled 9 together. In total, we had 24 bits to begin with.

“Not too shabby, girls,” I said. “That 24 bits may seem small, but it’s a start. Just you wait: this jar’s gonna be loaded so much, even I’ll hardly be able to lift it.”

“Whoo!” cheered the girls.

“So, what kind of stuff should we do to raise the bits?” asked Scootaloo.

“We can just go around Ponyville, offering our services, seeing who needs help with something. We’ll ask them to name their own price.”

“Sounds good!” said Sweetie Belle. “When should we start?”

“As soon as you kids think we should. I dunno how busy you’re gonna be on school days.”

“Yeah, we’d have homework to do in the afternoon,” said Apple Bloom, “but we can always work in another job or two, if we have time.”

“And weekends will be completely devoted to odd jobs!” said Scootaloo.

“Why do they call them odd jobs?” asked Dinky. “Are they really weird? Like, do they involve kooky space aliens and pizzas with faces and duckies that go moo?”

All of us stared at her, but she looked quite proud of herself.

“Anyhoo,” I said, “that’s the right kind of attitude. We can start today!”

“Yeah!” said the four.

I laid down my hand.

“All for one!” I said.

The four laid their hooves down atop my hand.

“And one for all!” they said.

Saturday: November 2nd: 24 bits
> Raising The Bits: Week 1
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Now that we had a goal in place, as well as a means of getting to it, all that was required was to put it into action. There was still time left that day, so we should be able to get in a job or two. The only question was, where to start?

Apple Bloom suggested Sweet Apple Acres. There was always something that needed to be done around the farm, and with winter coming on, Applejack and Big Mac might need help getting things ready for the cold weather. It sounded reasonable, so we set course for the Acres. Sweetie Belle, on the other hand, suggested helping Fluttershy, so she took Scootaloo and Dinky with her.


***


Sure enough, when Apple Bloom and I arrived, the farm was teeming with activity. Big Macintosh was hauling a wagon full of apple-filled barrels, while Applejack was bucking more apples down from the trees. Granny Smith was standing by and supervising.

As soon as we approached, a dog started barking, and Winona, the pup who had found us in the Everfree Forest, bounded over and tackled me, smothering my face with doggy kisses. Apple Bloom giggled at the sight.

“Ha ha! Easy, girl! Down!” I said.

Somepony whistled, and Winona snapped to attention.

“Winona! C’mere, girl!”

It was Granny Smith, and Winona took leave of me to sit obediently by her side.

“Hey there, youngins!” called the elder Apple upon sighting us. “Haven’t seen ya lately, Dave.”

“Hello, Granny Smith,” I said. “We were looking to see if we could help out around the farm.”

“Well, call me pleased as a polka-dot persimmon!” said Granny. “We’d be glad to have a few extra hooves helpin’ out. We’re gettin’ a start on storin’ away food for the winter. Think y’all can handle that?”

“Sure we can, Granny!” said Apple Bloom.

“Good! Go talk with Applejack, and she’ll get you youngsters set up.”

So we directed our attention to Applejack, who was loading her filled apple buckets into another wagon.

“Howdy!” she said, spying us. “What’s up?”

“Granny Smith said we should talk to you about helping out,” I said. “We’re looking for a few odd jobs, so we can afford to put together a racing car for the Junior Grand Prix.”

“Well, that’s just dandy!” said Applejack. “Ah’d be happy to have y’all helpin’ out. Now, lemme see...”

She looked us over, scratching her chin with her hoof.

“How does 10 bits each sound for both of ya?”

“Sounds great!” I said. “Right, Apple Bloom?”

“Yeah!”

“Swell!” said Applejack. “Apple Bloom, you can help me with buckin’ the trees, and Dave, you take the full tubs and barrels and load them into Big Mac’s wagon whenever he needs a refill.”

“Aye-aye, captain,” I said, saluting.

Apple Bloom walked off with Applejack to the next tree while I hefted up a full tub of apples. Thankfully, Big Mac was coming back around, because my arms were starting to kill me.

“I’m here to help you out, Big Mac,” I said, heaving the tub into the wagon and pushing it to the far back.

“Great,” said Big Mac. “Ah’m glad AJ took mah advice and started letting friends help her out. She can be a bit of a stubborn mule sometimes.”

Just as I was fetching another tub of apples, I could have sworn I heard the bray of a mule.

“No offense,” said Big Mac, looking to his right, and, unbelievably, there was a literal gray mule standing there. Where the heck had he come from?!

“None taken,” said the mule, in an easygoing voice, and then he just left, as if no explanation was needed for his random appearance. I just stood there, mouth hanging open.

“You wanna get a move on, Dave?” Big Mac asked. “We don’t wanna lollygag.”

“Er, right, sure, sorry,” I said, hastening to get back to work, though I was still befuddled. That kind of stuff was acceptable from a pony like Pinkie, but from a random mule?


***


The sun was beginning to set by the time I loaded the last tub of apples into the cart. By now, I was bathed in sweat, my arms aching, and my glasses steamed up. With a sigh of relief, I wiped them off with the hem of my shirt before replacing them. Applejack and Apple Bloom joined me as Big Mac wheeled the last wagon load away.

“Good job, Dave,” said Applejack. “We oughta have you help out here more often. Ah never knew you were this strong.”

“I never would have believed it myself,” I groaned in fatigue. “It’s not something I do often.”

“Well, a deal’s a deal,” said Applejack, and she handed out a hoof-full of bits to me, and to Apple Bloom. “Ah wanna know that y’all are doin’ yer darndest on buildin’ that cart.”

“Thanks, Applejack!” said Apple Bloom, nuzzling up against her big sister.

Applejack smiled and leaned down to nuzzle her little sister in turn.

“Come and git it, youngsters!” called Granny Smith. “Supper time!”

“Comin’, Granny!” called Applejack. “You up for some vittles, Dave?”

“Me? Really?”

“Sure! A hard day’s work deserves some good grub. Don’t be shy, now. Yer practically part of the family.”

“Heh, thanks, AJ.”

She smiled at me, and we set off for the farmhouse.


***


After an excellent dinner (Granny Smith was quite a whiz when it came to cooking), Apple Bloom and I went to deposit our bits into our savings jar. Applejack told us that Apple Bloom was to return soon afterwards so she could go to bed, which I agreed to, but Apple Bloom wasn’t as keen on the idea. 

We dropped our bits into the jar, the sound very satisfying to my ears.

“Wonder how much the others made,” said Apple Bloom.

“Dunno. I can’t imagine Fluttershy being very rich, but she seems to get by all right. I just wonder what she’ll have the others do.”

“Probably feeding her critters or rounding up her chickens,” said Apple Bloom. “It’s a lot to handle for just one pony.”

“Well, whatever the case, I’d better wait for them to return. You should head on home, Apple Bloom.”

“Aw, but Ah ain’t tired,” said Apple Bloom. “‘Sides, it’s Saturday. Don’t you go to sleep late on weekends?”

“Sure, but I’m an adult.”

“Wut’s that gotta do with anythin’?” asked Apple Bloom, putting her hooves on her hips.

“Plenty, but good little kids go to bed when they’re asked to. I’ll admit, I didn’t agree to it when I was a kid, but kids nowadays need to respect what they’re told.”

“Why?” asked Apple Bloom.

“Don’t you remember what I said when you first made me a Crusader?” I asked, slyly.

Apple Bloom put a hoof to her chin, trying to recall the events of that day, leaving herself open.

“I told you I was an agent of someone, and do you remember who that someone is?”

The pieces clicked together in Apple Bloom’s mind.

“That’s right...the Tickle Monster!”

I lunged out with my hands, tickling at her and making her burst into a paroxysm of giggles.

“Stop! Ah can’t take it! Ah’m ticklish!” she gasped out in between laughs.

I finally let up, allowing her to catch her breath.

“Now, unless you want Round 2,” I said, “you should head back like Applejack wanted.”

“No fair, fingers are cheatin’,” grumbled Apple Bloom, but she consented in the end. “G’night, Dave.”

“Night, Apple Bloom.”

She traipsed out of the clubhouse and back toward home. A few minutes later, several hoof-falls sounded on the walkway, and Sweetie Belle appeared, holding a little bag in her teeth.

“Where are Scootaloo and Dinky?” I asked.

“Vhey weft hovf,” Sweetie Belle said, voice muffled by the bag in her mouth.

“Say again?”

She spit the bag out.

“They went home. Dinky was getting sleepy, so Fluttershy took her and Scootaloo home when we were done. I told her I could get myself home and not to worry.”

“Ah, all right. How did you do?”

“Pretty good! Fluttershy had us feed her animals, then round up her chickens for the night. She showed us the right way, of course.”

“Just like Apple Bloom predicted,” I said. “She and I helped the Apples store food for the winter. We made 20 bits between us.”

“Great! We got 10!”

She handed me the bag, and I dumped the bits into the jar.

“We’re getting there, Sweetie,” I said, tucking the jar under my arm. “Let’s hope for another productive day tomorrow.”

“You bet!” said Sweetie Belle.

The two of us descended the walkway from the clubhouse.

“You sure you don’t need help getting home?”

“Nah, I’ll be ok, but thanks! Good night, Dave!”

“Night, Sweetie.”

The two of us departed on our separate ways home, while I wondered what else was in store for us.

Saturday, November 2: 54 bits.


***


“I really don’t think that should go there.”

“It’s fine, Dave.”

“No, really, that one looks like it’s gonna-”

“Uh oh!”

“Watch it!”

*CRASH!*

“Not again...”

The next day, the five of us had gone job-hunting again, and luck seemed to smile in our faces as Berry Punch asked if we could stack empty bottles for her. Unfortunately, the Crusaders’ helping out didn’t improve matters, as they were too small to make big bottle pyramids, and had opted to standing on each other’s shoulders to make a four-filly tower. Dinky was on top, but she wasn’t very coordinated. It didn’t help that she tried to use her horn to stop falling bottles, only to create a little yellow spark that didn’t do much to help. Berry was standing by, wincing with each broken bottle that hit the ground. I had a feeling this job was going to amount to the total of jack squat.

Indeed, Berry hadn’t even offered a reward for helping her out, and it looked like we weren’t going to get it anyway. As the girls helped sweep up, I apologized profusely to her.

“I’m really sorry, Berry,” I said. “We didn’t mean to make such a mess of things.”

“It’s ok, Dave,” said Berry. “I’m a little disappointed, but it’s nothing I haven’t done before myself. I’ve had my share of broken bottles.”

Well, at least she wasn’t too mad about it. Still, today started off with no profits, just some sullen fillies. Dinky was looking especially downcast from muddling things up.

“Hey, it’s ok, sis,” said Scootaloo, giving her a little consoling nuzzle. “You at least tried to stop them from falling.”

Dinky just nodded without saying anything.

“We’re gonna look for anypony else who needs help,” said Sweetie Belle to me.

“All right,” I said.

The Crusaders walked off, while I scanned around the square myself. Ponyville was full of busy ponies. Surely there was somepony else who needed our aid.

“Well, look who it is!”

I felt my insides shrivel at that snide voice. Sure enough, it was Diamond Tiara, flanked as always by Silver Spoon.

“Hello, girls,” I said, trying to be polite. “How are you doing?”

“Oh, pretty good, Mr. Dave,” said Silver Spoon. “Are you going to watch the Junior Derby at the end of the month? It’s gonna be wild!”

“Actually, I intend to take part in it.The Crusaders and I are gonna build our own cart.”

Something about this seemed to strike Diamond Tiara as humorous, as she started laughing.

“What?” I asked.

“You’re gonna put together your own cart, with them?” said Diamond Tiara, scoffing.

“And what’s wrong with that?” I asked, starting to get annoyed.

“Oh, nothing, just that you won’t get a decent car made without good talent,” said Diamond Tiara. “If you wanted to win, you’d have hired some professionals, like I did. That way, you know you’ll get the best money can buy.”

“Now hold on a minute,” I started, angrily. “We’re still working on the money part, but this cart’s gonna be built by hand and hoof, by us. It might not be as fancy as one you’re having built by professional ponies, but what matters is that it was made by ourselves, by our own hard efforts.”

Perhaps that did sound a little schmaltzy, but I meant it.

“That still doesn’t mean it’ll win,” said Diamond Tiara.

“Why do you hang around with them, anyway?” asked Silver Spoon, though she wasn’t as scornful as Diamond Tiara. She sounded more like she was seeking an answer that had long eluded her. “A big guy like you could do so much better than those four. They just don’t get it.”

“You think so?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. “Well, I hang around with them because I consider them my friends. We look out for each other, and nothing is changing that.”

Silver Spoon said nothing, but continued to look up at me. Diamond Tiara shrugged.

“Suit yourself,” she said. “Come on, Silver Spoon. If he wants to lose the derby, it’s his business.”

The two walked off, noses in the air. I, for my part, had my fists clenched, nails digging into my palms. Who raised those two to be such little brats?

“Dave!”

Sweetie Belle’s voice snapped me out of my anger as the four returned.

“Find something, kids?”

“Yeah! Rarity needs clothes models for her new fashion line, and Bon Bon needs help at the candy store!”

“All right, how many does each need?”

“Well, since she’s my sister, you and I could go help her,” Sweetie Belle went on, “and the rest of you can help Bon Bon.”

“Sounds great!” said Apple Bloom.

“I’m all over it!” said Scootaloo.

“Yay! Candy!” squeaked Dinky.

The three ran off for Bon Bon's while Sweetie Belle and I made for Rarity’s.


***


“Yes, yes, that’s it. Work with me, Dave. Perfect! Now, hand on one hip, other arm pointed to the sky. Yes! Wonderful! Oh, you’re an absolute natural! Sweetie Belle? Oh, yes, you’re simply darling, little sister!”

Rarity had Sweetie Belle and me modeling outfits for foals and stallions, respectively, putting the former in glimmering, silky dresses, tiaras, blouses, saddles, skirts, flowered hair-bands, and more, while I was cast into all sorts of two-piece suits: business, formal, casual, overalls, winter wear, fedoras, top hats, snow caps, etc. The way she transitioned from one ensemble to the next was amazing. It was almost as if they just magically swapped with each other. Wait a minute...Ohh.

“Spectacular!” she said, when our little fashion show was ended, and we stepped down. “You two have been an enormous help!”

“Happy to be of service, Rarity,” I said.

“Now, Sweetie Belle told me everything, and I am willing to donate to the cause. 25 bits for a job well done!”

She floated a little bag of bits into my hands, which gave off a healthy jingle of gold.

“Thanks, Rarity!” said Sweetie Belle.

“Yeah, Rarity, thanks!”

“You’re very welcome, darlings. Do me proud, Sweetie Belle!”

“I will!”

The two of us left the Boutique in high spirits.

“This is the greatest!” said Sweetie Belle. “We’ll have all the money in no time!”

“You said it!” I said. “I just hope the others are having as much luck.”

At that moment, the two of us were met by an angry, familiar voice down the street.

“Out, you little scamps! Out!”

Bon Bon was shooing Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Dinky away with a broom. Their faces were a mess of chocolate. Bon Bon spotted me and called,

“Next time they want to help, Dave, you’d better chaperone them! They need supervision, and Lyra’s no help in that regard!”

“Hey!” came the unicorn’s offended voice. My guess was that Lyra hadn’t exactly stopped them from doing whatever they did.

“What did you do?” I asked the Crusaders, sternly.

The three looked very sheepish.

“We were sorting candies,” said Scootaloo, “and...we couldn’t help ourselves.”

“We only meant to taste one,” said Apple Bloom.

“But when we did, we couldn’t taste just one, and we were eating a whole bunch!” said Dinky. “It was yummy...but now I feel bad for eating them.”

All I could do was let out a sigh of frustration.

“I blame myself,” I said. “I should have been there to make sure nothing bad happened. Well, live and learn, right? At the very least, Sweetie Belle and I made 25 for helping Rarity.”

This brightened the downcast little candy-munchers right up.

“If we keep getting jobs like this, we’ll be on Easy Street!” said Scootaloo.

“So, how long do you think we can keep this up, Crusaders?” I asked. “Our goal is 500, and so far, we have...”

I did some rough calculating in my head, coming up with,

“79 in 2 days. However, this was the weekend. Will we still have time on weekdays?”

“Hmm, probably not as much,” said Apple Bloom. “We’re gonna have homework and other stuff.”

“Especially since our winter break is coming closer,” said Scootaloo. “Miss Cheerilee’s gonna be giving us more work to do before then.”

“Well, I’ll do what I can to add bits to our count on days we can’t do things as a group. You girls just focus on what you gotta do until the next weekend. How does that sound?”

“Yeah!” they chorused together.

“As long as we avoid anymore incidents like this one,” I added.

The three choco-faced fillies looked away sheepishly again.

Sunday, November 3: 79 bits.


***


Sure enough, the next day, the Crusaders had to go back to school. However, Scootaloo volunteered to donate part of her pay from her paper route to the cause, and came by to hand me three bits out of what she had earned, saying she would add that to our count each day she did her route. She also said that, after school, they would try to find themselves quick little jobs that didn’t take more than an hour or two. It made me smile to see them being so proactive.

Not only that, but when Ironmane showed up, I eagerly accepted my weekly payment.

“Do you have particular plans for these funds, David?” he asked, raising an eyebrow at my behavior.

“Well, not all of them, Minister,” I said. “I’m helping some local fillies with a project: building a car for a derby at the end of the month.”

“Indeed?” asked Ironmane, sounding slightly interested. “It is well that you are finding ways to employ your time.”

“There haven’t been any emergencies or anything yet, have there?” I asked.

“None whatsoever,” said Ironmane. “If there were, I would keep you updated. I do not engage in many frivolities or festivities, but I will admit I admire your dedication to a consistent project. I urge that you keep up on it.”

“Will do, Minister.”

And with that, he took his leave. I went back inside and dropped about 10 bits from the bag into the jar, along with the three Scootaloo had given me that morning. I had written ‘Goal: 500’ on the side, along with the cause. We still had quite a ways to go, but it would be worth it in the end.

If that wasn’t enough, Apple Bloom turned up at my house around 5 in the afternoon, carrying a bag in her mouth. She was covered in sweat and grass stains, and looked like she’d put on a couple pounds.

“Apple Bloom, what happened?” I asked, as she handed the bag to me.

“Ah was telling Snips and Snails about our fundraisin’, and Snails said his ma needed a hoof mowin’ the lawn. I got about halfway through before Ah got too tired to push the mower, so I just grazed the rest. Ah got 10 bits out of it.”

“Well, that was nice of Snails to offer a job. Is he in the race?”

“Yeah, he and Snips both. They’re nice fellas, but about as sharp as a crayon.”

“In any case, a contribution is a contribution. You did a fine job, Apple Bloom.”

“Thanks, Dave,” said Apple Bloom, gratefully. “Ah’d better get home now. Granny won’t be happy if I show up all dirty like this, but I don’t think Ah’ll be too hungry for supper,” she added, putting a hoof to her tummy. “See ya!”

And she scampered off toward home, while I added the 10 bits to our ever-growing pile. Another 23 bits in one day.

Monday, November 4: 102 bits.


***


The next day, the Crusaders went scouting around after school once again, Apple Bloom having gotten over her grass-induced stomach ache. The four got an offer to help wash dishes at a local cafe for 20 bits. Now, I was a little nervous about this, as this kind of delicate operation was being entrusted to little fillies. However, this time, I was around to supervise and make sure they did it right. As it turned out, Sweetie Belle was the most adept at this, having been taught both by Rarity and her mother, the latter of whom had been giving her cooking lessons. So Sweetie Belle washed, Scootaloo dried, and Apple Bloom and Dinky stacked, while I made sure they didn’t tip over. The waiter, your average French maitre d (if said average maitre d was a pony), was very pleased with our work, and gave us the 20 bits for our efforts.

Tuesday, November 5: 125 bits.


***


On Wednesday, an elderly pony by the name of Mr. Waddle allowed us to carry his groceries for him as he made his way to the retirement home where he lived, earning us another 10 bits. On the same day, Applejack needed someone to take Winona out for a walk, which I volunteered for while the girls asked to help sweep up the autumn leaves scattered around the farm. Armed with bags for when she had to do her ‘business’, I took Winona for a stroll around Ponyville. She was very well-behaved, and apparently well known to other Ponyville ponies, as they greeted her kindly and even went up to pet her. However, she did get occasional spurts of energy whenever she spied a rabbit or a squirrel, forcing me to run along behind her, dragged by her leash. In the end, Applejack gave us another 20 bits for our troubles.

“You sure you don’t mind this, AJ?” I asked, while feeding Winona a dog biscuit. “I don’t wanna bankrupt Sweet Apple Acres.”

“You’re bankruptin’ nothin, silly,” said Applejack. “Ah told ya before, we’ve been doin’ a lot better lately, especially after fixin’ up Granny’s hip. Don’t you worry none, Dave.”

“Well, all right, then. Thanks, AJ.”

“Anytime, sugar.”

Wednesday, November 6: 158 bits.


***


The next day wasn’t quite so fun. An elderly mare asked if we could help clean out her gutters for 10 bits. This had to be one of the nastiest, most disgusting jobs I’d ever had to do. Her gutters were a mass of black and greenish sludge, as if they hadn’t been cleaned in years. The smell was absolutely atrocious, as well. I would not allow the girls to come up, as they shouldn’t have to suffer such olfactory horrors. It took nearly a whole agonizing hour to clean out those danged gutters, but the mare was very grateful about it, saying something about her poor husband being laid up with a bad knee that kept him from doing it. This somewhat mollified me, along with the 10 bits. Still, I felt like it would take ages to rid myself of the gutter-stank.

Thursday, November 7: 171 bits.


***


On Friday, we went to help out the flower mares in arranging their winter flowers while also carrying away their autumn flowers for careful re-potting indoors. As Rose had told me, these winter beauties included daphnes, mahonias, hellebores, along with poppies, pansies, and primroses. Of course, I never would have known what any of these were without her, Daisy, or Lily telling me. At any rate, they gave us 15 bits for our efforts (5 from each flower mare). Now, the girls had been invited to a foal’s birthday party, so they had to get ready after that, while I went to take the bits home.

“What are you up to, Dave?”

I was just at the door when this gentle, inquisitive voice spoke up. It was Moonlight. I’d forgotten I hadn’t seen her since Nightmare Night.

“Hi, Moonlight. Just wrapping up today’s job hunt.”

“Job hunt? I thought you had a job already,” said Moonlight.

“Odd jobs, Moonlight. I’m helping the Crusaders raise money to buy materials for a racing cart for a junior derby at the end of the month.”

“How exciting!” said Moonlight. “And how generous of you to want to help them. What’s your target?”

“500. With this, along with the 3 Scootaloo donates every time she runs her paper route, this’ll make 189.”

“You work fast!” said Moonlight, astonished.

“Well, we have to buy the materials, then build it, so time’s of the essence.”

“Oh, I see.”

She seemed to consider for a moment, then said,

“Wait here.”

She went into her house. I was confused by her strange attitude, but she returned with a small sack of bits.

“11 bits,” she said, handing it to me, “to make it an even 200.”

I stared at her.

“Moonlight, you don’t have to do that, really.”

“I want to, though,” said Moonlight. “I met the Crusaders on Nightmare Night. They’re such sweet little darlings, and I want to help them and you as much as I can.”

“Well, gosh, thanks, Moonlight. I’m just sorry we haven’t been seeing each other lately.”

“Oh, it’s ok,” said Moonlight, kindly. “You’ve been busy with your own agenda, and I’ve been taking little walks through Ponyville, meeting everypony I see. I’ve been kind of occupied myself.”

“That’s good. I’m glad you’re warming up to going out in public.”

“There’s just one thing, though,” said Moonlight. “I hear ponies talk about a magician in town, but every time I try to find her, I never spot her. It’s a shame, because I like magic tricks.”

“Huh. That’s odd that she wouldn’t be around,” I said, scratching my head. “Well, I’m sure she’ll turn up. She really is quite talented.”

Moonlight smiled, and we took leave of each other.

Friday, November 8: 200 bits.
> *Alternate POV* Evening Happenings
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The Minister of Foreign Affairs didn’t let it show, but his position would prove tiresome to one not used to what it demanded. One of these things demanded was constant travel wherever duty called. He already had to do deal with taking trips to Ponyville every Monday, but not once did a complaint escape his lips. He was the model of diligence, vigilance, and stoicism.

On that very Friday, as evening was drawing near, Ironmane was on the train once again, having taken it from Canterlot to Manehattan, and now was off for Baltimare. He had just seated himself when a voice he recognized asked,

“Is this seat taken, Minister?”

Ironmane looked up. It was Sure Shot.

“Of course not, Sure Shot,” he said. “Please, be my guest.”

Sure Shot took the seat opposite Ironmane, just as the train began to move.

“What brings you on board?” asked Ironmane.

“There’s a rumor about some gang activity in Las Pegasus, in a quarter where a good buddy of mine lives. Figured I should check it out, make sure nopony’s hurt.”

“Ah, good. Glad to see you’re on top of things.”

“How about you, Minister?”

“I have an engagement in Baltimare that I must attend to. Only got the memo this morning.”

Sure Shot looked thoughtfully at Ironmane’s lined, tired face.

“Minister, haven’t you thought about takin’ it easy? You look beat.”

“Me? Nonsense. My work is never done.”

“Yeah, but a head honcho like you oughta have some other pony who can do your stuff for ya. Even leaders need their sleep.”

“I appreciate the sympathy, Sure Shot, but I’m fine. My agenda hasn’t changed ever since I first took the post. I do have my own staff, of course, but I prefer to take matters into my own hooves for bigger projects.”

“Like our new human friend? I heard from Eagle Eye you’re his babysitter or somethin’.”

Sure Shot chuckled over his own joke, but Ironmane glared at him.

“Babysitter indeed! If you think I enjoy having to watch him, you’re sorely mistaken.”

“Then why do ya do it? Why not let somepony else do it for ya, reduce your workload?”

Ironmane sighed.

“It’s Her Highness’s orders,” he said, stiffly. “She thinks it’ll encourage feelings of good will between the two of us.”

“More like she’s trying to teach ya to have a friend for once,” said Sure Shot.

“I have no-” Ironmane began, but Sure Shot cut him off.

“No time for friends. We’ve heard that before, Minister, no offense,” said Sure Shot.

Ironmane sighed again.

“I have misgivings on allowing him a position so close to the Princess’ ear.”

Sure Shot sobered somewhat at this.

“I getcha, Minister,” he said. “You’re afraid he might do what they did back then.”

“Indeed. I intend to give him the benefit of the doubt, though.”

“Ahh, so you do have a soft spot for the kid,” said Sure Shot, with a grin.

Ironmane said nothing to that.

“And what about Brutus?” Sure Shot went on. “Are you gonna have to play security with him, too?”

“Her Highness commissioned a pair of pegasus guards to check with him every week, see what progress he is making in helping his people see things the pony way.”

“And you really think he’s on the level?” asked Sure Shot.

“Princess Celestia seems to think so. She told me he met with her after the meeting, and that, while a tad gruff, he seemed to possess a strong sense of honor. She said he’s trying to mask his real intentions through a mere desire of payment in gemstones.”

“Heh. Her Majesty’s always been really sharp,” said Sure Shot.

“Of course,” said Ironmane.

The two sat in silence for some time, then Sure Shot said,

“Who are you more worried about, Minister? A human who seems harmless, or a dragon who says he’s doing it for the pay?”

Ironmane stayed silent for a moment or two, then said,

“I want to believe I can trust both of them,” said Ironmane. “I honestly do, Sure Shot. But until I see proof that neither of them is a threat to the kingdom, I must remain vigilant. You must understand.”

“Course I do, Minister,” said Sure Shot, solemnly. “I know all about having to watch my back down a dark alley. Just, try to ease up, and take a day off or somethin’. It would do you good.”

Ironmane said nothing to this, but merely nodded, and the rest of the ride went in silence as the two gazed out over the landscape.


***


“G’night, Apple Bloom.”

“G’night, Big Mac.”

Apple Bloom had settled down for the night, and Big Mac softly closed the door as he left her room. Just outside, he found himself face to face with Applejack.

“It’s all right, AJ,” he said. “Apple Bloom’s already asleep.”

“Thanks, Big Mac. Ah really dug myself into a trench when that old wagon wheel broke with the last load. Ah appreciate yer help.”

“Think nothin’ of it.”

He seemed to hesitate on the spot, a movement his sister associated with his deep thinking moments.

“What is it?” Applejack asked.

“Ah’ve been thinkin’, AJ,” he began.

“Big Mac, yer always thinkin’,” teased Applejack. “How’s that news?”

“Oh. hush,” Big Mac retorted, though it was accompanied with a noogie to the mare’s head. “What Ah mean to say is, would you object to me startin’ a bowlin’ league?”

“A bowlin’ what?”

“League. Y’know, we meet once a month and have a night out on the lanes.”

“Ah thought you already did that,” said Applejack.

“Yeah, but it ain’t official. Ah mean, me and the guys startin’ up a bona fide bowlin’ team.”

“So, that’d be you, Caramel, Meadow Song, Magnum, and Dave?” asked Applejack.

“Eeyup. ‘Course, it’d have to be on a day where mah workload ain’t as heavy.”

Applejack considered for a moment, then smiled.

“Ah think it’s a swell idea, Big Mac. It means yer gettin’ out more, actually havin’ fun, instead of bein’ stuck here buckin’ trees.” Here, Applejack’s demeanor became more sly. “Or is this about Cheerilee?”

“Ah don’t know what yer talkin’ bout,” said Big Mac, stubbornly.

“Oh, c’mon, now,” said Applejack. “It can’t just be a coincidence that the two of you go bowlin’ on the same nights together. You can tell me.”

“Eenope,” said Big Mac. “‘Sides, even if Ah did have somethin’ to say, which Ah don’t, yer not exactly the best at keepin’ secrets.”

Applejack’s freckled cheeks flushed as red as Big Mac’s coat, but at seeing the smile on her big brother’s face, she relaxed and smiled herself.

“All right, suit yerself,” she said. “Ah’m gonna hit the hay. G’night, Big Mac.”

“G’night, sis.”

The two siblings separated to their own rooms. Big Mac hung up his yoke and stretched out on his bed, almost unconsciously drawing a raggedy-looking doll from under the pillow to rest under his massive forelock. It wasn’t like she was needed back that badly.


***


The daytime creatures of the Everfree Forest were settling down for the evening, but even if they weren’t quieting, Zecora wouldn’t have noted it. She had stopped letting the noises of the dark forest get to her shortly after she had called the hut within it her home. 

At the moment, she was finishing a letter she had placed before her, written in the stylish, but, to the unlearned eye, incomprehensible language of her people. It was a letter to her family back home in Zebrafrica. She took the time to write to them at least once a month, or on holidays. The distance between Equestria and Zebrafrica was daunting to navigators, but not to the carrier bird she had specially trained for these voyages.

At last, she completed her letter, rolled up the parchment it was written on, and gave a particular whistle. With a flutter of wings, a black and white petrel fluttered down from the rafters to rest on her back.

“Tendaji, my feathered friend, the time has come to set out again. Take this letter across the seas, to my family, and they shall be pleased. Fly swift and true, my little dear. Rest if you need to, don’t you fear.”

The petrel took the letter in his beak, flapped his wings, and, after Zecora opened the door, swooped out and up through the canopy of trees out into the open air. She smiled as she watched her feathered friend go out of sight. No matter how long it took Tendaji to make the journey, he never failed to return.

With that done, she returned to her cauldron, where a bubbling bluish liquid was simmering away sluggishly. She wafted the scent to her nostrils and gave a sigh of satisfaction.

“The perfect aroma and perfect hue. The ponies of the spa will love this brew. One drop dripped into a pony’s bath, and their bodies will be free of pain’s wrath.”

Taking a ladle, she took several spoonfuls of the stuff, loading it into clear glass bottles, setting them out for tomorrow. It was too late to make a trip out into Ponyville now. Even she knew it was foolhardy to walk through the forest at night; that was when the more dangerous beasts were on the prowl. Her trip could wait until morning.


***


“Hmm...no. What if...Ah! Yes, that’s perfect! Now, what about this?”

Moonlight had never felt so active. Spurred on by her new outlook on life, she had decided it was time to stop sitting alone in the gloom of her little house. If she was going to have friends, she was probably going to have house guests, and having house guests warranted a nice-looking house. Therefore, she made herself busy as a bee, going from room to room, dusting, wiping, and rearranging furniture, just as she had done to help Dave get ready for the slumber party.

To be perfectly honest, she never understood why her house had gotten to the way it was. She supposed that she just liked helping other ponies more than doing things for herself. Well, it was better late than never.

She had gone all-out home-makeover, rearranging furniture, changing out the curtains, washing the rug, wiping the windows, etc. Rarity had given her some handy housekeeping tips when she chanced by Carousel Boutique earlier, though the prim mare lost her young customer when she started talking about the intricate art of feng shui. Still, it was enough to get her started, and the moon was already high up by the time she was done.

Not even the most scrutinizing of neat freaks would have complained when they saw the results. Not a speck of dust lay where it once had before. The layout of her living room was cozy, comfy, and modest. Even her little kitchen/dining room looked inviting. No one would have ever guessed that this had been the abode of a former shut-in.

Moonlight sat back in an armchair, exhausted, but happy.

“It was a lot of work,” she said, “but it was worth it. Now I’ll be able to invite ponies over, have some tea, or just chat. But for now, I just need to rest my eyes...for a few...moments...”

Overpowered by fatigue, Moonlight’s eyes closed, and she drifted off into a deep sleep.


***


This was the part of the day Derpy enjoyed best: everypony home from their busy days, sitting around the dinner table and sharing what the day had brought them. Tonight, it was spaghetti and wheatballs, Scootaloo’s favorite. The fillies were eating with gusto, Dinky’s cheeks already a mess of spaghetti sauce.

“So, Sparkler, how are things at work?”

“Busy as ever,” said Sparkler. “You wouldn’t believe how many couples decided to get married near Hearth’s Warming Eve. They think it’ll be more romantic that way.”

“Well, it is a magical time of the year, after all.”

“Yeah, I suppose. Speaking of,” Sparkler added, a sly look on her face, “how do you keep track, with all of your traveling?”

“Oh, we manage, in the end,” said Derpy. “Like you should manage to finish your spaghetti,” she added, glancing at her daughter’s plate.

“I’m eating, I’m eating,” said Sparkler, innocently, swallowing a forkful.

Dinky giggled.

“And how about my two little muffins?” Derpy asked. “How was your day today?”

“Pretty good,” said Scootaloo. “We got to help Daisy, Lily, and Rose arrange their winter flowers.” 

“Well, aren’t we hard little workers?” said Derpy, approvingly.

“We’re so close, Mom!” said Scootaloo. “We’ve nearly hit 200 bits by today!”

“Goodness!” said Derpy. “At this rate, you’ll have what you need for the cart in no time!”

“It’s gonna be the best cart ever, Mama!” said Dinky.

“Our cart’s gonna be a speed demon!” said Scootaloo. “It’s gotta have a cool name!”

“It’s gotta be as cool as Aunty Rainbow Dash!” said Dinky. “We’ll call it the Rainbow Storm!”

“That’s good, Dinky, but I was thinking something along the lines of...the Avenger!” said Scootaloo, drawing out the name with awe-inspired emphasis.

“How about the Rainbow Avenger?” Dinky suggested.

“Ooh, I like that even better! Remember that one!”

“You girls have been really busy this past week,” said Derpy. “And I’ll bet Ponyville is really grateful for everything you’ve been doing around town.”

“Well, it’s like we always say, a Crusader’s work is never done.”

“Except when it’s bedtime,” teased Sparkler.

“Er, yeah, except then,” said Scootaloo.

The rest of the meal passed in relative calm, but as soon as the family had concluded, Dinky sprang up in her seat.

“Well, not even bedtime can stop a Cutie Mark Crusader!” she crowed. “Come on, Scootaloo! We can get some more planning done before bed tonight! We can draw up what the Rainbow Avenger will look like!”

Scootaloo, however, stretched and yawned.

“Nah, Dinky, I’m beat. I think I’m about ready to hit the hay.”

“Aww, who needs sleep? Sleep is for the...the...*yawn*...”

Dinky’s bravado, as well as her eyes, began to droop, as she wavered drowsily over her sauce-splattered plate. Derpy smiled gently and took her under her wing.

“Let’s get you washed up before bed, before you get yourself covered in even more sauce, young lady.”

As she took Dinky upstairs, Scootaloo watched her go, then, when the coast was clear, whispered to Sparkler,

“Thanks for not telling Mom about Berry and Bon Bon.”


***


One pony was certainly not affected by the growing lateness of the hour, and that one pony was the Great and Powerful Trixie. She was holed up in her caravan, using her magic to create poster after poster featuring the same image: Trixie, reared up on her hind legs, fireworks going off around her. In big, bold letters at the top read the words: The Great and Powerful Trixie Returns! Coming soon to your hometown!

The mare herself was in high spirits. She had never felt this excited in ages. Surely after so long, Equestria was aching to see her return and dazzle them with amazing feats. This time around, however, she’d take care not to mention anything about Ursas Major or Minor. She had already won back the adulation of the ponies in Ponyville, whom, she had to admit, were not so bad. Still, she couldn’t stay tied down like this. It would be selfish of her to deny the rest of Equestria her amazing talents.

“It’s a pity I can’t stay,” she said to herself, rolling up another poster, “but a showpony must do what a showpony must do, and a showpony must travel. Of course, the Great and Powerful Trixie can’t leave the stage without a few more cheers from her fans. I shall give them a final performance worth remembering, a grand exit worthy of such a great and powerful pony!”

She stowed the rolled poster into a basket full of them. Involuntarily, her eyes fell on her dressing cabinet, set right beside said basket. Softly, she opened its doors, where a picture sat pasted to the back wall. One would think, for a pony like Trixie, it would have been the spot for a mirror, but no. 

Her bravado seemed to ebb away at the sight of the picture’s subject, and a slight quiver went through her muzzle. However, she took a deep breath and said,

“I did it, my friend...Trixie is back. She just hopes that you would still cheer for her, too.”

She softly closed the doors again, and lay herself on her bunk, where it took some time for her to be able to fully fall asleep.


***


Trixie was not the only pony to have been engaged in feverish nocturnal activities that night. In a dark, shadowy room, a mysterious figure flitted this way and that, fiddling with something here, something there. There was a kind of fervent energy to its movements.

“Yes...yes...everything is perfect. He’ll have no idea what hit him!”

The figure was speaking in an oddly hushed, throaty voice, one that didn’t seem to suit them. It stooped over and picked something up off the floor. Whatever it was, it writhed and snapped its jaws, like an untamed and famished animal.

“Patience, my pet, patience. You’ll have your time once everything is in place. He won’t even see it coming. Everything has to be perfect. We wouldn’t want to ruin the surprise...”

*Click*

The lights went on, framing a startled Pinkie Pie holding Gummy in front of her face. Mr. Cake had entered, and had been the perpetrator of the sudden illumination.

“Pinkie Pie, what are you doing?” he asked, befuddled.

“Just planning a surprise party for Davie, Mr. Cake,” said Pinkie, grinning.

“But why were the lights off?”

“Just trying to mix it up a bit!” said Pinkie, sunnily.

Mr. Cake blinked.

“All right, just try not to hurt yourself, ok?”

“Okie-dokie-lokie!”

Mr. Cake closed the door, and Pinkie’s attention snapped immediately back to Gummy.

“Now, where were we?”
> Happy Not-Quite Birthday!
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Saturday dawned clear and bright, with only a few clouds dotting the sky. I could see some pegasi, most likely from the weather team, setting a few more in place.  As I stepped out, after showering and breakfast, to get the mail, I could have sworn I saw a familiar pink pony bouncing away toward Ponyville. No other pony bounced like Pinkie, but there was something different about that silhouette. It was wearing a strange kind of hat, a hat I’d never seen Pinkie wear before, so I was just confused all the more.

That got me thinking: I hadn’t seen much of Pinkie lately, since I’d been so busy with odd jobs with the Crusaders. Perhaps it was about time I went and paid her a visit.

“Morning, Dave!”

At that moment, Scootaloo came rolling in on her scooter. It could have been my imagination, but it seemed like her wings weren’t buzzing quite like they used to, and yet she was still propelling herself sufficiently. Perhaps those lessons were starting to pay off, after all.

“Morning, Scoot! Can you call the girls together in the town square, say, after lunch? I’ve got a bit of an announcement to make.”

“Sure thing!”

Scootaloo sped off once again. Once more, I couldn’t help but note the steadier beat of her wings. Sooner or later, she was gonna be soaring.


***


Once all four fillies had assembled at the appointed time, and were waiting to hear the news, I clapped my hands together once.

“Well, Crusaders, we’ve hit a milestone. As of yesterday, we have reached 200 bits!”

The four looked surprised.

“When did that happen?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“I told Moonlight about it, and she donated to the cause, rounding us out to 200.”

“Sweet!” said Scootaloo.

“That was real nice of her!” said Apple Bloom.

“I quite agree,” I said. “But we can’t relax yet, girls. We’ve still got 300 to go, and we’ve gotta give it our all once again!”

“Yeah!” chorused the fillies.

“Now let’s go, Crusaders. Forward, march!”

I almost imagined I heard drums accompanying us as we set out through the streets of Ponyville. It reminded me of the ‘Follow the Leader’ scene from Peter Pan, with Michael and the Lost Boys following John as he led the way. However, none of us spontaneously broke into song, for once, which was something of a relief.

“Actually, Dave,” Apple Bloom piped up, “we’re gonna need to split up right here.”

“Huh? Why?”

“Before the meeting, Pinkie Pie gave us a couple requests: one for you, and one for us. She said you need to go see Mr. and Mrs. Cake about your job, and she needed our help with somethin’.”

“Oh, is that right? Well, all right, then. On to Sugarcube Corner!”

As a matter of fact, we weren’t that far away from the bakery at that moment.  Before we could enter, however, the door swung open, and Pinkie poked her head out. I could now see that she was wearing a basket on her head, held on top via a rope secured under her chin.

“Davie!” she said.

“Hey, Pinkie. Long time no see, huh?”

“Hi, Pinkie Pie!” squeaked Dinky.

“Hello, girls!” said Pinkie, sweetly, to the Crusaders. “You ready to help?”

“Yes, ma’am!” the four chorused.

“Great!”

She then turned back to me, without skipping a beat.

“Yeah, I guess it has been a while, huh?”

“Well, listen, I feel like I’ve been ignoring you lately, what with running around Ponyville looking for odd jobs and all that-”

“Oh, no, no, Davie, it’s ok,” Pinkie cut in. “I understand. I know all about the Junior Derby, and I think it’s super-sweet of you to help the Crusaders out. You don’t have to feel bad.”

“Thanks, Pinkie, but even so, that’s no excuse for neglecting my first and best pony pal.”

“You’re right, we should get together sometime soon. It’ll be a blast!”

“Sometime soon?”

(But aren’t we already together, Pink...You know what, never mind.) 

“So, Apple Bloom told me you have some work for us.”

“Yeppy-deppy! Girls, you come with me. Davie, just go see Mr. and Mrs. Cake. They could really use a helping hoof.”

Pinkie took us inside and sent the Crusaders upstairs with her. Mrs. Cake was just feeding Pound and Pumpkin from a pair of milk bottles at the counter.

“Oh! Hello, deary,” she said.

“Hi, Mrs. Cake. Pinkie said there was something I could help you and Mr. Cake with.”

“Yes, of course. Carrot, honey!” she called.

Mr. Cake peered through the kitchen door and spotted me.

“Ah, Dave! Good timing. I could really use a hoof over here.”

“Well, I can’t offer a hoof, but I can offer a hand,” I said, even though I was mentally reprimanding myself for such a bad pun. “What is it?”

“The babies’ diapers have started to pile up, I’m afraid, and Cup and I have been so busy. Twilight recently tested a ‘fresh scent’ spell on the kitchen, but it’s starting to wear away. Do you think you could help take them out to the dumpster out back?”

Handling dirty diapers? Not a very enviable job, but if the Cakes really needed help with it, I wasn’t about to turn a blind eye.

“It couldn’t hurt,” I said, glancing at Pound and Pumpkin, who had emptied their bottles and were now being burped. “How many diapers can two little foals possibly go through?”


***


Oh, how I wish I hadn’t asked...

There were five, five bags full of soiled baby diapers. Even that fresh scent spell Twilight apparently cast couldn’t mask that stench...

“If it’ll help,” said Mr. Cake, seeing my nauseated expression, “Cup and I will be willing to pay you 5 bits for each bag.”

That sounded like a fair trade...I think. The fumes were messing with my reasoning.

“Sure, no problem,” I muttered, a hand clasped over my nose and mouth. “Leave it to me.”

Now feeling utterly envious of what Pinkie would be tasking the girls with, I grabbed the first bag and began hauling it out the back door, trying to keep from breathing through my nose the entire time. Thankfully, the dumpster wasn’t too far off, but it made me wonder how ponies, especially Earth ponies, were supposed to handle taking out the trash with their mouths. More than that, I wondered what the heck these babies ate that made them go through so many diapers...

It wasn’t a very pleasant experience, having to haul five reeking garbage bags full of soiled diapers into an already stinking dumpster, but, in the end, I was just grateful none of the bags burst open on me. That would have been really unpleasant...

I washed my hands fervently in the kitchen sink when I was done, hoping I didn’t smell like dirty diapers now. I wasn’t a complete mysophobe, but at the moment, I felt like one.

“Thanks very much, Dave,” said Mr. Cake, once I’d dried my hands. “You really gave us a big help today.”

“Glad to be of service, Mr. Cake,” I said.

“And, as promised, here’s your pay for a job well done.”

He handed me a bag full of bits, which I gratefully accepted.

“Thanks, Mr. Cake. Can you tell Pinkie I’ll be right back? I feel like I need to take a shower.”

“Of course, Dave. We’ll keep an eye on the girls, too.”

“Great. Thanks.”

As I  walked homewards, I saw some ponies I knew passing by.

“Hey, Berry. How are you, Golden Harvest? How’s it going, Minuette?”

I got a few waves, but nopony stopped to chat, which I was actually grateful for; I didn’t want anypony commenting on whether or not I stank like used diapers.


***


Now I felt utterly refreshed and renewed, even though it was early in the afternoon, and I’d already showered beforehand. Hopefully, nopony would ever guess what I was doing earlier.

With that done, I returned to Sugarcube Corner, and, this time, as nopony greeted me at the door, I stepped inside on my own.

“SURPRISE!!”

I felt my heart jump in my chest, and a swear almost escaped my mouth. This was a startling bit of deja vu: ponies everywhere, smiling broadly, balloons and streamers everywhere.

“What’s going on here?” I asked, once I found my voice again.

“Happy ‘Not Quite Your Birthday’, Davie!” came a familiar voice through the crowd.

Sure enough, with a bound, Pinkie cleared the crowd and tackled right into me, wrapping me up into one of her bone-tenderizing Pinkie hugs.

“Pinkie, what’s this all about?” I asked, entirely confused.

It didn’t help that my words were strained from Pinkie’s grip on me, and her cheek pressed so hard against mine.

“Well,” Pinkie said, “I was just sitting in my room one day, when I got this really great idea! Well, I shouldn’t say it was entirely my idea, because Gummy put in a few suggestions, too! We both thought, since we hadn’t seen you recently, that we’d give you a big ol’ surprise party, just to surprise you! The only question was, what kind of party should it be? I didn’t know when your birthday was, but if I asked, you probably would have gotten suspicious, so I decided to make it a ‘Not Quite a Birthday but Close Enough’ Party! The name was Gummy’s idea, by the way. He’s such a clever little guy! I passed out the invitations early this morning, but then you came around, and I needed some help setting up, so I took the Crusaders with me to help with the final touches, and kept you occupied with helping with the babies’ diapers! My Pinkie Sense told me you’d want to go home and wash off after handling so many garbage bags (an ear flop, that means somepony I know is going to need a bath), which gave me the perfect chance to assemble everything down here and bring everypony inside! So, what do you think? Were you surprised?”

It must have been a while, because I had forgotten her ability to speak without even taking a breath.

“Very surprised,” I finally said, then added, in a kinder tone, “and very grateful. My birthday’s all the way back in June-”

“Shoot. I knew you were a Gemini,” said Pinkie. “I had this nagging feeling.”

“But this was still a wonderful surprise, Pinkie. Thanks.”

Pinkie beamed and renewed her hug, which I tried to reciprocate while my bones groaned from the strain, to many cheers from the crowd.

“So that’s what you were doing when I spied you,” I said, when we broke apart, “passing out invitations.”

“Yep! I wanted to be sure to invite everypony!”

She gestured to the crowd. I could pick out many ponies I already knew, among the many more I hadn’t been acquainted with: Twilight, Fluttershy, Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Spike, Derpy, Sparkler, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, Dinky, Big Macintosh, Lyra, Bon Bon, Zecora, Golden Harvest, Berry, Minuette, Screwball, Caramel, Vinyl, Moonlight, and...Trixie?

Yeah, I could see Trixie in the crowd. Who could mistake that wizard’s hat?

“How did you get Trixie to come?” I asked.

“I’ll let her tell you that,” said Pinkie. “But right now, leeeet’s party!”

This seemed to be the magic phrase, as Vinyl zipped over to a turntable, flipped a record, and started up a dance beat. Everypony dispersed into their own things: talking, dancing, joking, etc. Pinkie suddenly dashed up to Twilight.

“Twilight, I’m putting you in charge of capturing some snap-a-riffic party photos!”

With hilariously exaggerated reverence, she handed Twilight a camera, which the unicorn took in her magic, giving Pinkie a weird look for her behavior.

“Uh, sure, Pinkie. You can count on me.”

“Great! I’ve gotta get my stand-up on!”

She zipped off, earning another weird look from Twilight, who merely shrugged and started going around, taking pictures. I actually caught a good glimpse of Lyra trying to give Bon Bon ‘bunny ears’ behind her head, though she didn’t seem to understand that one needed fingers to make it work.

For now, though, I looked for Trixie to see what brought her out here. 

She was currently wowing the Crusaders with flowers she poofed out of thin air, which then turned into butterflies. They (and Fluttershy, who was nearby) were visibly impressed, watching them flutter out an open window.

“Hey, Trixie,” I said, coming up to her.

“Well, how is this for irony!” said Trixie, grandly. “This party is for you, but Trixie has the most eyes upon her!”

“Great to see you here too,” I said, with a small eye roll. “I didn’t think you’d agree to something Pinkie suggested.”

“Oh, she’s not as bad as Trixie thought,” said Trixie. “Besides, this was the perfect chance for Trixie to tell you.”

“Tell me what?”

“This shall be Trixie’s last day in Ponyville. Thus, she shall give one final performance tonight in the town square!’

“What?!” I asked, shocked. “Last day? But I thought-”

“Trixie!” came Berry’s voice from across the way. “Show me that one trick you were bragging about! The one about the never-ending juice!”

“Sorry, Dave, Trixie wishes she could talk more, but her talents are wanted!”

She said this with a dramatic flair and whirl of her cape, then walked off to seek out Berry, leaving me perplexed and somewhat regretful. Trixie leaving? Her last day today? I had almost fancied that she would want to stay in Ponyville a little longer. To see her going so soon was...sad. Then again, I suppose I should be grateful that she decided to come to this party of Pinkie’s just to see me. She really did think of me as a friend.

“Hi, Dave!”

I looked over to see Moonlight smiling up at me.

“Hey, Moonlight. How are you?”

“Great! I was just talking with Derpy. She was introducing me to this stallion friend of hers. She says he’s a doctor!”

“A doctor, huh? Sounds interesting.”

“I’m surprised I actually made it,” she admitted. “I spent all of last night completely reorganizing my house. Cleaned it from top to bottom.”

“Hey, Moonlight!” called Minuette, from a different part of the room. “Come over here, quick! Lyra’s showing off her human walk!”

“Wow! I’ll be right back, Dave.”

Moonlight dashed off, and only a few seconds later, Trixie returned.

“Another successful piece of magic, though not unexpected from the Great and Powerful Trixie.”

I looked over at where she had just come from. Berry was holding a bottle in her hooves, a bottle that was spewing a fountain of juice into the air, which fell back into the bottle through the mouth. She looked quite elated.

“Wow. Is there a limit to what you can do, Trixie?”

“Ha! Why ask that when you know the answer to be no?” Trixie asked, smugly.

“Er, right.”

“Anyway, as Trixie said, her final performance shall be this evening, in the town square. You wouldn’t want to miss it.”

“And I won’t, but, Trixie, could I-?”

“Sorry, Dave, Trixie can’t just sit idly by. She has ponies to wow.”

And with that, she was off again, leaving me unable to finish my thought. I was still in this attitude when Moonlight came back, giggling.

“You should have seen Lyra, Dave! She was hilarious!”

I gave my head a shake to clear my thoughts before responding.

“Oh, was she? I’m sorry I missed it.”

“Are you all right? You looked a little out of it.”

“Yeah, I’m ok. Just kinda lost my train of thought.”

“Oh. I know the feeling.”

She went back to mingle, while I did my best to do the same, glad Moonlight was making more friends.


***


A little while later, Pinkie wheeled in a big, chocolate-frosted cake littered with about 20 candles. Well, she wasn’t that far off with my age, that’s for certain.

“Cake time, everypony!” she called.

She zipped over and shunted me in front of the cake, obviously urging me to blow out the candles. Everypony was watching, and the music had stopped, so I took a deep breath and extinguished the candles in one gust.

“Whoa! I think I just caught a whiff of your human breath, Dave!” shouted Lyra, bringing a round of laughter from the ponies.

“Aw, gimme a break, Lyra, I did brush,” I retorted.

Twilight stepped forward, rolling her eyes at our banter, and started cutting the cake, rather skillfully, I must say. The amazing thing was that the cake was so big, everypony got at least one piece, and, of course, it was absolutely delicious. I wondered how long it took Pinkie or the Cakes to make such a cake, and how long she or they had been planning it.

From there, the party went back into full swing. It was a lot like the party Pinkie threw me when I first arrived in Ponyville, only without the apple-eating contest, or Rainbow’s continued hoof-shake buzzer prank. There were plenty of party games, though, like apple-bobbing and Pin the Tail on the Pony. I decided to try the latter again, and this time, I managed to get the tail on the flank, where a cutie mark would be, but still not quite where a tail should go.

Pinkie, meanwhile, was keeping the Crusaders in stitches with a stand-up comedy routine set up in another corner. Out of curiosity, I decided to see just what my pink pal’s brand of humor was.

“I spent 10 minutes trying to get it open, but then I realized something! I wasn’t trying to open a jar of pickles. It was a jar of jelly! Well, no wonder I couldn’t get it open! It was jammed!”

The girls burst into another bout of laughter. I remembered that joke from an old cartoon, and it still made me smile, even if it didn’t make me burst out laughing. Seeing me in the crowd, Pinkie's face split into a wide grin.

“Fillies and gentlecolts,” she said, “for your entertainment today, the comedy stylings of Pinkie Pie and Dave!”

Wait, what?

Before I knew what was happening, she bounced over, grabbed my arm, and dragged me back to where she'd been standing. I felt perplexed, and a little hot in the face, at being center-stage like this. The Crusaders giggled, looking expectant and eager.

“Just improvise," Pinkie whispered.

Improvise, huh? Well, all right. We were amongst friends after all. I gave it a shot.

"You know, Pinkie, I was attending a posh restaurant the other day."

"Oh?"

"When all of a sudden, this pompous old stallion up and shouts, 'Waiter! There's a fly in my soup!'"

"And what did the waiter say?"

"'Well, I'm sorry, sir, but we were all out of mosquitoes!'"

The girls started laughing anew. This was kinda fun!

“Say, Pinkie, what’s the difference between a jeweler and jailor?”

“I dunno, Davie, what is it?”

“One sells watches, one watches cells!”

Some other ponies, interested, came to see what was entertaining the fillies so much.

“Speaking of watches,” said Pinkie, “I know a friend with a really great job at a watch factory.”

“Oh, really? What does he do?”

“He stands around all day and makes faces!”

Ahhh, she liked it corny, just like me.

“You know, I once knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith,” I said.

“What are the names of his other legs?” Pinkie asked.

Our ever-growing crowd was in stitches.

From there, I dunno how, but the two of us dissolved into ‘Who’s on First’, with me taking the part of Costello and Pinkie the part of Abbot, the audience laughing heartily the whole time. I was working myself into a fever pitch as we reached the finale.

“I throw the ball to Who. Whoever it is drops the ball and the guy runs to second. Who picks up the ball and throws it to What. What throws it to I Don't Know. I Don't Know throws it back to Tomorrow, Triple play. Another guy gets up and hits a long fly ball to Because. Why? I don't know! He's on third and I don't give a darn!”

“What’s that?” asked Pinkie.

“I said, I don’t give a darn!”

“Ohh, that’s our shortstop!”

I facepalmed as the ponies, which now included everypony at the party, roared with laughter. I had no idea how I was able to pull this kind of stuff out of nowhere, but with Pinkie at my side, it somehow made it easier. This crazy pony really knew how to rub off on me.


***


Around 3 o’clock, Pinkie seemed to sense that the party was beginning to run its course. I’d peeled my throat from all the yelling I had to do for ‘Who’s On First’, and was still trying to ease it with ice-cold punch. She nodded to Vinyl, who waited until the last beat of the current song, then cut the music.

“Attention, mares and stallions!” she said into the mic. “You’ve all been a great audience, but the Pinkster says it’s time to wrap this up! Thanks again for another rockin’ party, D-dude! DJ-PON3, out!”

The ponies in attendance cheered as Vinyl cut the power, giving a kind of ‘peace out’ wave as she did so. Everypony started heading for the door, where I stood to see them off, for politeness’ sake.

“Great party, Dave!” said Lyra.

“It’s been delightful,” said Bon Bon.

“See you later, sorta-birthday alligator!” said Berry.

“We really should do this again soon,” said Moonlight.

She looked really tired, now that the party had wound down.

“You ok?” I asked her.

“Yeah,” she said, letting off a huge yawn. “I’m just exhausted. I think I’m gonna go to bed early tonight, maybe take a nap when I get home.”

“All right. Take care, you party mare.”

She smiled and headed out the door.

“Thanks for the shindig, Dave,” said Big Mac. Then he paused and added, “When y’all get a chance, come by the farm. Ah’ve got something Ah need to ask you.”

“Oh? Sure, no problem, Big Mac.”

All of this, and other such goodbyes, sayonaras, and hasta la vistas greeted me as they went.. As Vinyl packed up her gear, Twilight and her pals, except for Pinkie, came up to me. The lavender unicorn seemed to have been taking her time with something during the party, especially after cutting the cake.

“Dave, we know it wasn’t quite a birthday celebration,” said Twilight, “but we thought we’d give you something special anyway.”

“Oh, Twi, you didn’t have to go to the trouble-”

“It was no trouble at all. Rarity?”

Rarity levitated a wrapped box over to me, and, encouraged by their ‘go ahead’ nods, I opened it. Inside was a scrapbook, containing all of the photos Twilight had taken over the course of the party, all of their goofy antics and sunny smiles. I could see Lyra’s attempt at the bunny ears on Bon Bon, Trixie making the juice fountain for Berry, Zecora enjoying a glass of punch at the refreshment table, the Crusaders all bunched together for the camera; even Screwball got her own picture, though hers seemed to make every color in the picture except hers inverted, like a ‘G Major’ effect. Now I had a keepsake of the ponies I knew here in Ponyville.

Below that was not one, but two sets of new clothes, including a green T-shirt and a pair of brown pants, a red T-shirt with charcoal pants, and accompanying socks and undergarments.

“Wow. Thanks, gals. This means a lot to me.”

“You deserve it, big guy,” said Rainbow.

“Especially after all you’ve been doin’ to help out lately,” said Applejack.

“Shall we see you tonight at Trixie’s performance?” asked Rarity.

“Heh. Wouldn’t miss it for the world.”

I spoke lightheartedly enough, but inside, I was still regretting Trixie’s decision to leave so soon. Hopefully, I’d be able to say a proper goodbye to her after the show.

“Then we’ll see you tonight,” said Twilight.

With that, she, the girls, and Spike left, followed closely by Vinyl, wheeling away her speakers. It was just me, Pinkie, and the Crusaders left now.

“So, what did you kids end up doing?” I asked.

“Helpin’ Pinkie make decorations to shoot from her party cannon!” said Apple Bloom.

“I gave them 5 bits for it, plus early snacks, courtesy of Sugarcube Corner,” said Pinkie. “I hope that wasn’t too cheap.”

“Nah, don’t worry. Mr. Cake gave me 25 for helping with those diapers.”

The Crusaders’ eyes lit up, expanding to the size of dinner plates.

“That means we’re already up another 30 bits!” said Sweetie Belle.

“This weekend’s off to a very good start, kids,” I said. “Tomorrow, we’re gonna work harder than ever. But for tonight, we’ve got some great and powerful magic to witness.”

“Yay!”


***


It wasn’t even New Year’s, and already the sky was alight with fireworks. Granted, they were all being fired from cannons Trixie had set up around her stage, but it really knew how to grab your attention. All of Ponyville seemed to have come out to see her final performance. It was lucky that I was so tall, or I might not have been able to see the stage properly. 

Trixie pulled out all the stops this time around: swapping animals for objects, or objects for animals, from beneath her cape or her hat; creating neon-esque images in the sky that twisted and warped themselves into something of a miniature picture show, putting the crowd into hysterics with the failed amorous attempts of a stallion trying to grab the attention of a mare, who responded with hooves to the face, pepper spray, and other such defenses; creating balloon shapes that actually glowed in the evening dark, reshaped themselves into other forms, or played musical jingles as they ascended; it was all visually stunning.

“You have all been a wonderful audience,” said Trixie, “but Trixie has a few more tricks to bestow upon you. For these next feats, she shall need a volunteer.”

Several hooves raised themselves into the air.

“Hmm...how about...you, sir!”

She was pointing straight at me. I hadn’t even raised my hand.

“Me?”

“Yes, you. Come forth, don’t be shy.”

Wondering what she could want to use me for, I waded through the crowd and ascended the stage.

“Your name, volunteer?”

“Dave, oh Great and Powerful Trixie.”

I accompanied this with a bow that made her smile.

“Well, Dave, you’ve seen Trixie display feats of illusion, but have you ever experienced magic such as this?”

She aimed her horn right at me and fired. Her magic hit me right in the throat, causing several ponies to gasp.

“Why does my throat tickle?” I asked aloud, before clasping my hands to my mouth in horror a second later.

Was that my voice? It couldn’t have been! It sounded like a chipmunk’s!

“What happened to my voice?! This is weird!”

The ponies in the audience began to laugh. Trixie caught my eye and winked, as if to say ‘No harm done’.

“How about gracing us with a song, Dave?” she asked.

“A song? Like this? You can’t be serious.”

“Come, now,” said Trixie. “You shouldn’t deny an expectant audience a treat. If they laugh, remember it is all in good fun!”

Well...I was always told that I had to learn to laugh at myself, so I decided to go with a song that would sound intentionally ridiculous with a goofy voice.

“A wandering minstrel I, a thing of shreds and patches”

Trixie fired her horn once again, and now my voice was a deep rumble, almost demonic in tone.

“Of ballads, songs, and snatches, and dreamy lullaby”

The crowd was laughing harder than ever now. Trixie sent another blast, and now I was singing with a Scottish flair.

“My catalogue is long through every passion rrrranging”

*Zap* Now it was with a Russian accent.

“And to your humor’s changing, I tune my supple soooong”

*Zap* Now it sounded like I was singing with all four of those voices, plus my own, as a choir.

“I tune my suuuuupple sooooooong!”

The audience exploded into wild cheers and laughter. Though my face was burning with embarrassment, it had been pretty funny, I had to admit. Trixie nodded to me, and the both of us bowed together.

“Thank you, everypony, thank you!” she said. “Please, another round of applause for Trixie’s benevolent volunteer, Dave!”

Another set of cheers, as I waved and bowed once again.

“And thank you, Ponyville, for being such good sports. The Great and Powerful Trixie shall not forget you as she tours Equestria once again. Thank you, and good night!”

There was another explosion of fireworks, a puff of smoke...and Trixie was gone, leaving me all alone on stage. The firework cannons had even come with her. The crowd dispersed, talking wildly about what they had just witnessed, while I, for my part, went to seek out Trixie.


***


It took a while to get to her caravan alone, seeing as how she had fans wanting autographs or whatnot, but eventually, the area cleared out, and I had my chance. Stepping forward, I knocked at the door. The top half swung open, and Trixie appeared, still wearing her hat and cloak.

“Dave! So good of you to come! Please, come in!”

She opened the door fully, allowing me to step inside. There were baskets of rolled-up posters sitting by her dresser, and her firework machinery took up quite a bit of room in the back corner. Her blue face was aglow.

“What did you think? Wasn’t it the most magnificent display of magic you’ve ever seen?”

“It was incredible!” I said. “You really wowed me, Trixie.”

I glanced from her to a sack sitting on the ground, filled nearly to the brim with bits.

“And you’ve made quite a bit of coin out of it. If anypony deserves it, it’s you.”

“Thank you. You were quite the accommodating assistant up there.”

“Well, it caught me by surprise, but in the end, we’ve all gotta laugh at ourselves, don’t we?”

What was I doing? This wasn’t what I came up here for.

“Trixie,” I said, after a pause, “there’s something serious I wanted to talk about.”

“Hmm?”

“It’s about...well, your decision to leave so soon.”

Trixie’s smile faded.

“Ah. Yes. I suppose I did spring it upon you rather haphazardly, didn’t I?”

“It’s not like I’m angry with you. You said yourself you had to keep traveling, and I’m really happy that you’re back in the swing of things. I just, well, hate to see you go so soon. I feel like we’ve only just gotten to know each other.”

Trixie smiled softly and put a hoof to my hand.

“I owe a good deal to you, Dave. If you hadn’t, well, let’s be honest, meddled in my affairs, I might not have had the guts to try and turn my life around.  All it took was venting on someone and being struck with Goronide Bolezn to realize that. The Great and Powerful Trixie’s stubbornness is just as great and powerful as she is.”

“Heh, yeah, I guess so.”

“Just know one thing, Dave: whether I’m using the mantle of Beatrix Lulamoon or the Great and Powerful Trixie, neither will forget you. And don’t worry, I’m certain we’ll see each other again.” 

She added, in an amused aside, 

“These ponies will be sorely missing their Trixie-fied entertainment before long.”

I couldn’t help it; that made me smile.

“And before I forget,” she added, suddenly.

From out of a drawer flew a pair of black and white glossy photos of Trixie, signed in her own penmanship, with the ‘i’ of ‘Trixie’ dotted with her cutie mark. These floated delicately by my side.

“Why two?” I asked.

“To give to somepony who may have missed my performance,” she said. “Spread the word of Trixie! And besides, what’s more enjoyable than one Trixie but double the Trixie?”

“Ha! Can’t argue with that logic,” I said, grinning. Then, in a more somber tone, I said, “Well, then, I guess this is goodbye, Trixie,”

To my surprise, she reared up on her hind legs and put her forelegs around my neck in a hug. I hadn’t been expecting her to initiate it; in fact, I hadn’t been considering it at all. Still, I reciprocated the embrace, and she stepped away a few moments after.

“Until we meet again, Human in Equestria,” she said.

“I’ll be waiting, Oh Great and Powerful Trixie,” I responded.

That showmare’s smile was back on her face, along with that gleam in her purple eyes. She truly was back.

As soon as I stepped out of the caravan, the glossies held gently in my hand, the door shut quite suddenly, and the entire carriage became surrounded by a glowing aura of magic. The next moment, the wheels began to move, and, slowly but surely, the caravan began to rumble off, of its own accord, toward the borders of Ponyville. I really shouldn’t have expected less, since otherwise, Trixie would have to pull her own carriage herself.

The window opened, and there was Trixie leaning out of it, silhouetted against the moon. She turned in my direction and doffed her hat, and I waved to return the gesture. The next moment, she had disappeared back inside, and the caravan disappeared over the evening horizon.

“So long, Trixie,” I muttered. “And good luck.”

Saturday, November 9: 233 bits.
> Raising the Bits: Week 2
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was awakened by a tapping at my window. Still groggy, I sat up, the first thing I saw being one of the Trixie glossies I’d hung up, looking right at me with that winning smile. The tapping sounded again, and I turned to see Rainbow’s rosy-eyed face on the other side of the window.

“Rainbow? What’s going on?” I asked, after lifting the window open.

“Morning, sleepyhead. The weather team and I are sending out a GWW around Ponyville.”

“A what?”

“A General Weather Warning. It’s gonna be a stormy one today.”

“Oh, I see. Well, thanks for warning me, I guess.”

“Hey, no problem. Just didn’t want you to get soaked if you were out looking for jobs again.”

“You know about that?”

“Yeah. Fluttershy told me the Crusaders helped her with her animals last week, and that it was for the Junior Derby.”

A wistful look came into her eyes.

“Man, if only I were a filly again. I’d show them what real speed was, and I wouldn’t even need a race cart to prove it!”

“You’d blow the competition away like nothing,” I said, amused.

“Oh! I almost forgot,” Rainbow added. “Got somethin’ for ya.”

She reached from somewhere outside the window and brought out a book, gripped in her teeth. As I accepted it, I saw that the cover depicted Daring Do standing in a clearing within a dense forest, looking at a stern, imposing pegasus stallion with a coat as brown as the tree trunks and a long mane as green as the tree leaves. The title read, Daring Do and the Legend of the Earthwing.

“Twilight says it's the best up to this point in the series,” said Rainbow. “Me? I'm not really much for the kinda stuff in this one. It's good, but it needed more action. Still, you and Moonlight should like it.”

“Moonlight!” I said, suddenly remembering. “I forgot, she hates storms! I’ve gotta get over to her house and make sure she’s not alone when it happens!”

“You’ve got time,” said Rainbow. “The storm’s gonna start at 9:30. From there, it’s on and off showers until 5.”

“Wow. That must take a lot of planning.”

“Weather management’s not as easy as it looks. Anyways, I gotta jet. Have a good one, man.”

She extended a hoof through the window, and I, catching her drift, bumped my fist against it.

“You too, Rainbow.”

With her characteristic jet-engine roar, she took off, while I set about getting myself cleaned up. I couldn’t just head to Moonlight now, looking like a bedraggled hobo.


***


When I was finally washed and dressed, I went to Moonlight’s. When I knocked at the door, it was answered almost immediately by the young pony, who was looking much fresher than after the party yesterday.

“Hello, Dave!”

“Hey, Moonlight. I came by to-”

But I couldn’t finish. There was something about Moonlight that seemed different than before. Her mane was done up in a pair of neat pigtails. Was it a recent style change?

“Dave? What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, Moonlight. Just, did you do something with your mane? Was it always in pigtails?”

“Mm? Oh, no, I just did it up like this this morning. I thought it would look nice.”

“It looks very nice. I like it.”

“Thanks! So, what were you going to say?”

“Eh? Oh! I came to warn you that a storm’s on the way, and I didn’t want you to suffer through it alone.”

“Ohh, that’s so sweet of you to think of me,” said Moonlight. “Rainbow Dash told me already. She gave me quite a surprise when she came right up to my window and said a storm was coming today. She also said you had something I’d love to see.”

“Probably the next Daring Do book. She dropped it off when she visited me.”

“Oh! Wonderful! That’d be a perfect way to spend the rainy day. But first, would you like to come in and see what I’ve done with the house?”

“I’d love to.”

Moonlight allowed me inside, and immediately I was blown away. Everything was neat, polished, and immaculate. Even in the dim light from the clouded skies, I could see that everything with a wood surface had been wiped down to a brilliant sheen. I couldn’t see a trace of dust anywhere.

“Whoa...Moonlight, you did all this?”

“Mmhmm! It took hours, but it was well worth it.”

“It’s amazing! No wonder you were so exhausted yesterday. You definitely deserve a break, ala a little Daring Do.”

Moonlight smiled warmly.

“Question is, do you wanna read it here or at my house? I don’t wanna just snub your house after you went to such pains to arrange it.”

“If that’s what you want to do, I’ve got no problem with it.”

“All right. Let me just grab the book, and we can get started.”

“Ok!”


***


Thankfully, the storm hadn’t started by the time I returned with the book. As a matter of fact, no sooner had we settled on Moonlight’s sofa than the first crack of thunder and the soft patter of rain made their auditory appearance. At the sound of the thunder, Moonlight stiffened and shifted closer to me, where I felt her shiver.

“Let’s get started, shall we?”

Moonlight nodded, and I flipped the book open between us.

From there on, it was if the storm didn’t even exist. We were completely immersed in this unexpectedly thought-provoking installment of the Daring Do series, with breaks for the bathroom or for lunch during it. Moonlight made a surprisingly tasty grilled cheese and tomato soup combo, the kind of thing you’d expect to eat during a cold, wet day like this. 

In this book, Daring encountered a civilization long thought to be a myth: the Glen of the Earthwing: pegasi that had either been exiled from normal pegasi colonies or had simply chosen to give up living in the sky in favor of an Earth pony-esque lifestyle. Rather than seek a treasure, Daring wanted to see it for its cultural and historical significance, and so took it upon herself to live among them for a period of time, study how they lived.

Even with the time we took, we couldn’t reach the end in one sitting. This book was actually lengthier than many of the installments thus far. By the time 5 o’clock rolled around, we had only reached about the halfway point.

“Well, whaddya know? We read right through the storm,” I told Moonlight, who was snuggled comfortably beside me. “We’ll have to finish another day.”

She looked up at the window, which was damp with rain, but through which a ray of dying sunlight was now straining through.

“Thank goodness,” she said. “But this is an amazing book. I didn’t want to stop.”

“Neither did I, but I guess we gotta pause somewhere, right?”

“Yeah. Thanks again for sticking with me. You were very sweet to want to keep me company.”

“It was my pleasure, Moonlight. I should probably get going. Big Macintosh said he wanted to tell me something yesterday, and now’s a good time, seeing as the storm’s over.”

“All right. Take care, Dave!”

“You too, Moonlight.”

She escorted me to the door and saw me out, while I went to drop the book off back at home before heading for Sweet Apple Acres. It was amazing what a transformation she was going through, from being a shy shut-in in a dimly-lit house to a friendly homemaker. It could only go uphill from here for my young neighbor.


***


When I arrived at Sweet Apple Acres, I was greeted by the sounds of both laughter and splashing. Applejack and Apple Bloom were playing about in the grass, in a manner not unlike a pair of playful dogs, their manes soaking wet and their hooves muddy, bereft of both hat and bow. It looked like they were playing in the puddles left by the rain. At the moment, the two were circling each other, tails swishing, anticipating each others’ movements. I paused to watch, because it was both cute and funny to see.

“Ah’m gonna getcha!” said Applejack, feinting left.

“No ya ain’t!” said Apple Bloom, strafing in kind.

I couldn’t help laughing to myself. It was like Applejack had taught her little sis everything she knew about this kind of thing. Suddenly, Applejack gasped.

“Great gallopin’ griffins, what’s that?!” she yelled, pointing to the right.

Apple Bloom looked sharply that way, but there was nothing but numerous apple trees. That was AJ’s intention, though, as she pounced, pinning Apple Bloom down with her forehooves and sending a spray of mud into the air. The older mare smiled triumphantly down at her little prey, while I could see Apple Bloom’s face twisted into a pout.

“That’s cheatin’!” she huffed.

“Ah never laid down any rules, AB,” said Applejack. “All’s fair.”

“Oh yeah?” asked Apple Bloom, suddenly looking sly. “Then how about this?!”

She swiftly raised her back legs and began tickling her sister’s soft tummy with them. Applejack’s smug grin vanished as she burst into laughter, finally releasing her hold on Apple Bloom long enough for the little filly to tackle her backward into the mud, drenching the two in goopy muck. Both were laughing now, but it soon subsided, and Applejack, still smiling, regarded her sister as she lay atop her stomach.

“Pretty sneaky, Apple Bloom,” she said.

“Ah did learn from the best,” said Apple Bloom.

Applejack chuckled and gave Apple Bloom a sisterly noogie. It was then that she noticed me, smiling at their antics.

“Howdy, Dave!” she said. “When did you get here?”

Apple Bloom looked up at that, and waved energetically at me, sending droplets of mud everywhere.

“Not too long ago,” I said. “I didn’t want to interrupt you gals.”

“AB and I decided to have ourselves a little puddle-play after it rained.”

“Sounds like fun. Is Big Macintosh around? He wanted to talk to me about something.”

“Oh, sure. He’s out making sure nothing got blown down in the storm.”

“All right. Thanks, AJ.”

I left the two muddy sisters to continue their play while I sought out Big Mac. Sure enough, he was righting a big steel plow that had tipped over onto its side near a tilled field.

“Hey, Big Mac.”

“Howdy, Dave! What a downpour, huh?”

“You bet. So, what was it you wanted to talk to me about?”

“Mm? Oh, that. Ah’m thinkin’ about startin’ a bowlin’ league.”

“A bowling league?”

“Eeyup. We’ll meet once a month at Kingpin’s and have us a couple games. Ah already asked Caramel and Meadow Song about it, and they’re game. Haven’t seen much of Magnum, though, so Ah still need to get his OK, but what do you think?”

“I think it sounds like a great idea! Count me in!”

“Super! If you see Magnum, think you can let him know?”

“Not a problem, Big Mac.”

“Great. Ah’ve got a feelin’ Cheerilee’s gonna ask her gal-pals about the same thing.”

“That’d make for some interesting nights: two teams pitted against each other, just like our last bowling night.”

“Eeyup. Well, I should probably get back to makin’ sure the storm didn’t damage anythin’. Glad yer on board with this, Dave.”

“No problem, Big Mac. I’ll see you around.”

I left Big Mac to his duties while I headed back home. The sound of splashing and laughter from the Apple sisters was still in the air as I departed. It may not have been a day of monetary gain, but who was to say it wasn’t productive?

Sunday, November 11: 236 bits.


***


The kids were back in school by the next day, so I decided to head out to see what jobs I could rustle up. The streets were still wet, and a smell of damp grass and earth was in the air. I could see Pinkie bouncing from puddle to puddle, crossing gaps I never would have thought possible for a pony.

“Hi, Davie!” she chirped, as she came to a halt in a puddle beside me, nearly soaking my shoes.

“Hey, Pinkie. Having fun?”

“You bet! I love puddle-jumping after a rainy day! Wanna see me splash that one over there?”

She pointed to a puddle that was about 15 feet away.

“Pinkie, you’re an amazing jumper, but I don’t think you could reach that puddle.”

“Is that a challenge?” Pinkie asked.

“Are you gonna make it one even if I say no?”

“Yep!”

“Then be my guest.”

But Pinkie didn’t jump right away. Instead, she pulled a tape measure out of nowhere, stuck the tape end into the dirt by the puddle, and ran it the distance between the two puddles. She regarded the tape closely, pulled a piece of paper and a quill out of nowhere, and began writing something down, looking like she was making some serious mental calculations as well. Finally, she nodded to herself, put away the paper, retracted the tape measure, then zipped off. A few minutes later, she returned with her party cannon, wheeling it up to the first puddle. 

“Davie, when I say ‘go’, will you push the fuse for me?”

“What? Er, sure, I guess.”

Pinkie reared up, put her back legs into the muzzle, and somehow squeezed her plump self inside up to her head. There were no words for this.

“Go!”

Still befuddled, I pressed down on the fuse, and with a *boom!*, she went soaring into the air, spanning the entire length and landing with a splash in the very center of the puddle. I felt my jaw drop. How had she made such precise calculations?

“How’s that?” Pinkie said as she came back.

“Very impressive! You really know how to make someone eat their own words.”

“Ooh, really? I wonder what somepony’s own words taste like?” she pondered. “Would it taste like their breath? It might be good if they were fresh and minty, but what if they were like icky morning breath? Yuck!”

(And here I thought that was just a joke in The Phantom Tollbooth.)

“Still looking for jobs?”

“Yeah. I have to pick up the slack, since the girls are in school.”

Pinke put her hoof to her chin in thought.

“I know!” she said. “You could go see Screwball! Maybe she has something she needs help with!”

“Really? A pony like her doesn’t seem bothered by much.”

“Well, even if she doesn’t have anything for you to do, you can at least visit her. I spoke to her at the party, and she says she hardly sees you.”

“You spoke to her? She’s only said one thing to me out of the entire time I’ve known her.”

“Well, that’s because she needs to trust you more. She seems to like you, so just go over and visit her, be neighborly.”

“Well, all right. I do feel a little bad about not seeing her so much. So many ponies and only so much time to see them in one day.”

“Tell me about it. That’s why I like throwing parties so much: because all my friends are there at the same time, and I can see them all there!”

She beamed toothily.

“Well, bye, Davie! I’ve got’s me some more splashing to do!”

And with that, she bounced away, splashing about in the puddles as she went. Shaking my head a little at her antics, I directed my steps to Screwball’s home.


***


When I arrived at Screwball’s, I thought about knocking on the window, since it had been replaced with a door, but she couldn’t possibly expect me to get in that way, so I knocked on the window-door. The thing was, knocking on the wood of the window made the exact sound of a doorbell ringing.

In any case, Screwball swung the window-door open, and her face lit up upon seeing me.

“Hey, Screwball. Just thought I’d stop by and see how you’ve been. May I come in?”

She nodded eagerly, making a noise not unlike the tinkling of sleighbells, then waved her hoof in a ‘come on in’ way. I stepped through the window-door, closing it behind me. The inside of Screwball’s house was even nuttier than the outside. The living room, which we had come into, had a wallpapered floor and shaggy carpeting on the walls and ceiling, including a rug in the middle of the ceiling, through which a chandelier hung, bearing lit candles...only the candles were what was burning, not the wicks. Speaking of fire, there was no fire in the fireplace at all, but a kind of brick tub full of bubbling water. Maybe that was where the bubbles came from.

Screwball seemed to be eyeing me expectantly, as if curious of my opinion.

“It’s...very unique, Screwball,” I said. “I kinda like it.”

Screwball smiled brightly.

“Actually, I came by to see if there was anything you wanted help with. I’m trying to help some filly friends of mine with a racing derby coming up, and we’re all trying to raise money to buy stuff to build a cart. Of course, I’m not saying that to try and guilt-trip money out of you, but if there’s anything you wanted help with, I’m your guy.”

Screwball pondered for a moment, then gasped as if an epiphany had struck her. Motioning for me to follow her, she led me upstairs. Well, I should say I did the best I could to follow her upstairs, as each step was cut in half, leaving the left side, then the right side of the next, then the left side of the next, and so on. It was like trying to walk across rocks through a stream, though this stream was more like a waterfall.

We arrived in what looked like a bathroom. It looked fairly normal for a bathroom, except for the fact that there was what looked like a garden in the toilet, and long, thin spaghetti noodles hanging from the shower head. I glanced at Screwball.

“How do you get by?” I asked.

She merely shrugged.

“So, you want me to get rid of the spaghetti and whatever’s in the toilet?”

She nodded and handed me a pot with a pair of tongs inside, and a small trash can with some gardening shears. I suppose the pot was for the spaghetti and the trash can for the grass in the toilet. Why the pot, though? Was she planning to cook the spaghetti when it was removed?

“Er, I’ll do what I can,” I said.

Screwball smiled and trotted out of the room. I wouldn’t have minded her sticking around. I had the suspicion that her house had certain rules to it, and I didn’t want to mess anything up. Funny how that sounded: rules in a house that didn’t even seem to follow the laws of nature. At any event, I got started with the showerhead. The tongs actually seemed to work quite effectively, as the spaghetti came out cleanly and abundantly into the pot. What I wasn’t expecting, though, was the shower of red goop from the shower head as soon as it was cleared of noodles. At first, I was extremely grossed out, and nearly dropped the pot, but one sniff told me it was tomato sauce, and warm sauce at that. The last thing needed was wheatballs to come spilling out afterward, when, lo and behold, they somehow did, as if the shower just spit them out like teeth knocked loose from a fist fight. Well, there was Screwball’s lunch, I suppose.

Next, I moved on to the toilet. I’d never done much with gardening before, but I just took a whack at it, snipping away at this bit of grass and throwing the trimmings in the trash. I set these aside for her to deal with. Who knows? Ponies eat grass; she might consider it Parmesan cheese.

The odd thing was, no matter how much I snipped, it didn’t seem to be getting any smaller, and it was getting on my nerves. Finally, out of frustration, I grabbed the grass and just pulled up. Sure enough, it lifted out like a drain plug, set in a hard-packed dirt bottom, like what you’d find in a flower pot. With a gurgle, the toilet flushed itself and refilled. So, did that mean she hadn’t been able to go to the bathroom with this thing in there? Ugh.

“Screwball!” I called, bringing the pot down with me, as I carefully navigated the stairs. “It’s all cleared up now!”

Screwball came trotting into view at the bottom, a bag clutched in her teeth. Come to think of it, what was it with ponies keeping their bits in burlap sacks? Did none of them have purses or wallets or anything?

She took one look at the pot full of spaghetti, and her face lit up. Setting the bag down, she accepted it from me and took it off with her to the kitchen. She wasn’t seriously going to eat it, was she? I was just kidding when I thought it’d be her lunch. That stuff came from her danged water pipes! Then again, was that how she got her food, through the plumbing? Then how would she get her water?

My musings were interrupted when she came back. She once again picked up the sack on the floor and handed it to me.

“Well, thanks, Screwball, but how much is in here?”

Screwball gave the side of the bag a poke, and a number appeared in the burlap, like gleaming neon: 35.

“35 bits? For just that? You sure?”

Screwball nodded.

“Well, gosh, thanks.”

Then, after a pause, I said,

“Listen, I know I haven’t been seeing you as often as I probably should, but I’m going to try to do better. On top of that, you could always come visit me. My door’s always open to visitors.”

Screwball’s face lit up gleefully.

“I knew you’d like the idea,” I said. “So, I’ll see you around, ok? I’m glad I could be of service.”

Screwball nodded and nuzzled against my arm in a rather doggish fashion. She then led me to one of the window doors. Thankfully, she must have noticed I’d be more used to those, and, even more fortunately, it was one on the ground floor. She waved goodbye as I headed for home, the sack in my arms.


***


As I half-expected, Ironmane was waiting at the door when I returned home. There were some tired bags under his eyes, but otherwise, he looked the same as ever.

“Sorry I’m late, Minister. I was helping somepony with some plumbing issues.”

“Indeed?” asked Ironmane, raising an eyebrow. “It must have been an unusual blockage, to be paid for so handsomely.”

“It was for a...well, rather unique pony, sir. It’s all for the derby, too. I’ve been taking care to reserve the stipendiary pay I receive, so as not to splurge all of my resources.”

“Mm. Good show. Just take care not to mix up your recent earnings with your pay, David. That might prove regrettable.”

So saying, he levitated the bag containing my stipend into my arms.

“Thank you, Minister. How are things? You look a little exhausted.”

“Nothing unusual in my department. I’ve just been traveling across the nation this past week, sorting out certain matters.”

“Is anything wrong?”

“Not at the moment, but Brutus has reported that the dragons are only thinking of what they can get out of being allies with ponies. I shan’t hesitate to say that their greed of jewels often supersedes other matters on their minds. It has become the council’s priority to make sure they get what we have agreed to, and nothing more. Dragons are crafty, David. They enjoy exploiting loopholes.”

“But isn’t Brutus something like a chief among them?”

“He is, so any dragon who wishes to take from us must go through him.”

“Wow. He really does want to see peace between ponies and dragons.”

“So it would appear, but he is saying it’s purely for monetary purposes, nothing more.”

“I see. Well, I won’t keep you, Minister.”

“Thank you. Until next week, David.”

He trotted off, with his usual stiffness, but for some reason, I just couldn’t get over that tired look on his face. He looked like he was going through some really tough times, but how could that be? A job like his must have demanded no less than what he was currently doing before I arrived. What could he be losing sleep over that hadn’t wearied him before?

He was the last pony I should ask about that, so I went back inside, separating my stipend with what Screwball had given me: 35 bits added to the pile, plus the few Scootaloo always donated on her delivery days.

As it turned out, Scootaloo did arrive in the afternoon, but looking like she had just taken a tumble through a tree. She was covered in tree sap and pine needles, and looked glum.

“Hey, Scoot. What’s the matter?”

“Hi, Dave. I thought I could earn a few extra bits by helping Mom deliver some packages, but I took a shortcut through the forest and ended up crashing.”

“Ohh, that stinks. I’m sorry, Scoot. Your mom didn’t yell at you, did she?”

“I thought she would, but she was just puzzled about how a simple delivery could have been messed up like that. Somehow, that hurts worse than being yelled at...”

She hung her head.

“Aw, Scootaloo, don’t be that way,” I said, laying a hand on her mane. “You at least tried. Plus, you don’t have to worry. I made a whopping 35 bits today.”

She raised her head so rapidly that it knocked my hand away.

“Really? That’s awesome! Who did you help? Some really rich pony?”

“Screwball, actually.”

Scootaloo raised an eyebrow.

“Screwball? That kooky pony who lives in that weird house?”

“Yeah. She’s a little strange, but she’s friendly, and apparently grateful for helping her out.”

“Well, that makes sense. Bits are bits, anyway. Speaking of, here’s my contribution.”

She laid out three bits in my palm.

“Thanks, Scoot. Don’t let this whole package thing get you down. It was just an accident.”

“All right. See ya, Dave!”

She trotted off, while I went to add her bits to the pile. This proved difficult, as the coins were saturated with tree sap, and stuck to my palm as I tried to drop them in.

“Eeyuck,” I groaned. “Maybe I should wash these off before adding them. I wouldn’t want any of the other bits to get gooked up.”

Monday, November 12: 274 bits.


***


The next day, Sparkler asked for our assistance at the jeweler’s where she worked. It seemed like a simple task: organizing new gems, freshly-dug and washed off, into the containers where they belonged. The only problem was, not only were they supposed to be arranged by size and color, but by luster, facets, and other geological factors that I didn’t even understand. Try explaining that to a little kid, let alone four, who volunteer to help!

Unfortunately, Sparkler couldn’t stay around to supervise; she had to help somepony else who worked there clean and shine a new shipment of gems, so we were left to our own devices. I did the best I could to remember Sparkler’s instructions, but all the big words she had bounced around, like iridescence, optic character, and chatoyancy were scrambling up my remembrance of her instructions. The girls, over whose heads all of her instructions seemed to bounce, just resorted to putting all of the gems the same color together, which I’m sure was not entirely what Sparkler had in mind.

Indeed, when she came back, the look on her face told us she was not happy. She didn’t yell at us or even scold her sisters. She just said, in a tone that told us she was exercising great patience,

“Good enthusiasm, but I think I’ll take it from here.”

I don’t know why, but I felt like she should have shouted at us; this restraint only made me feel guiltier. Dinky especially seemed to take this hard, probably because she knew her sister better. She might also have been dreading what would happen when Sparkler told her mother what happened. This was surely gonna set her back, and it was our fault.
As we were leaving, however, Sparkler called to me.

“Dave?”

I froze and turned around slowly, expecting a tirade at last.

“Yes?...”

“Would you like to join us for dinner tonight?”

“Huh? You want me to come over, after I screwed up? How far is this going to set you back?”

“Not as far as you’re probably worrying about. I’ve had worse days, trust me. I blame myself for not being here to supervise, but what can you do?”

“Well, er, sure, I’d love to come over for dinner.”

“And do you think you can bring along your little neighbor? Scootaloo and Dinky had a lot of fun with her on Nightmare Night, and Mom’s taken a fancy to her after seeing her at the party last weekend. We’d love to have her over.”

“Sure! I’ll see if she can come.”

She smiled gently at me, then went back to sorting the gems. Feeling like I’d just dodged a bullet the size of a football, I turned to head back, and almost ran into Caramel.

“Whoops! Sorry, Caramel.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

He said this rather briskly and immediately stepped past me to talk to Sparkler. Something told me I knew what he was here for, but I thought it best not to badger him about it, so I took my leave to rejoin the Crusaders.


***


Dinner at the Hooves’ was a much more pleasant affair. Moonlight was more than happy to accompany me, and the six of us had a wonderful meal of pasta with a creamy alfredo sauce prepared by Derpy herself. The motherly mare had Moonlight sit beside her, and the two struck up a friendly chat about this and that, and something about Derpy’s doctor friend, most of which I missed because Scootaloo and Dinky were showing me conceptual drawings of what the cart was going to look like when it was done. I wondered who was going to be the architect who would handle it, as I had no experience with that kind of thing. What they had decided on, however, was the name: the Rainbow Avenger, an homage to Rainbow Dash. I was sure our local speedster was going to love that.

After dinner, Dinky begged Moonlight to do a scene out of Daring Do for them, since they had such a fun time playing it on Nightmare Night. Flattered, Moonlight consented, but only if I could play Ahuizotl or one of the other villains. I did love doing my own voices, so I agreed. With the Hooves’ as our audience, we decided to play the scene in The Basilisk’s Eye, when a younger Daring first met Ahuizotl.

“Ahh, so this is Carbon Date’s best student. I have been waiting for you, Daring Do,” I said, putting on my best sinister, deep voice and pretending to twirl an evil mustache, though Ahuizotl didn’t really have one.

“And why’s that?” asked Moonlight, in a belligerent tone.

“So I can wipe my paws clean of this business,” I said, clenching my hand. “Carbon Date stole that glory which should have been mine! I am the true master of treasure-hunting, and he is nothing more than a copycat! I did it first, but everypony took his side over mine!”

“Can’t imagine why,” said Moonlight, sarcastically.

“Silence! It ends here and now, Miss Do! Carbon Date is out of the picture, but that still leaves you!”

“Yeah! That still leaves me to kick your butt!”

...

By the end of our performance, the Hooves’ broke into applause, and Moonlight and I stepped forward to take a bow.

“That was amazing!” said Scootaloo. “It’s like you really were Daring Do and Ahuizotl! It was almost as good as the movie!”

(Movie? There’s a movie?! I gotta check this out someday!)

“Bravo! Bravo!” squeaked Dinky.

Derpy and Sparkler beamed where they sat. After that, Sparkler took the kids upstairs to get washed up for bed, but not before the little fillies bid Moonlight and me good night. Derpy trotted over to us.

“Thanks, you two. It means a lot to me that you decided to entertain the kids tonight. Some nights I’m just exhausted after a long day’s work.”

“We’re happy to help, Derpy. Right, Moonlight?”

“Mmhmm!”

Derpy let off an enormous yawn.

“I’d better get some shut-eye myself. Good night.”

“Good night, Derpy.”

“Night!”

The motherly mare left us as we made our way home, my throat a little raw from having to keep up that Ahuizotl voice.

Tuesday, November 13, 277 bits.


***


Wednesday made me remember that I should seek out Magnum and see what he had to say about a monthly bowling league. With that in mind, I went to Rarity to ask where her folks lived. When I arrived, it was to find her struggling with a garbage bag, even though it was held in her unicorn magic.

“Rarity! Let me give you a hand with that.”

Before she could say anything, I picked up the bag and heaved it to the trash can she had been making for, jamming it down into it.

“Oh, Dave, how chivalrous! You didn’t have to do that for me.”

“It wasn’t a problem,” I said, with a vivid remembrance of diaper-filled bags. “I’ve had some prior experience. I wanted to ask where your folks lived. I need to ask your dad something on Big Macintosh’s behalf.”

“Oh, is that so? It must be about their bowling nights.”

She said this with a slight eye-roll, but she was smiling while doing it, so there was no harm.

“They live right in front of the pier near Ponyville Pond. Father loves fishing, and quite a number of sports, as a matter of fact.”

“House in front of Ponyville Pond’s pier,” I said. “Got it. Thanks, Rarity.”

“Anytime, darling.”

With Rarity’s directions, I made my way to this Ponyville Pond, and found the house indicated. Sure enough, there was Magnum, sitting at the pier, but he looked like he was in a bad temper. His fishing line was all jumbled up, and he was muttering to himself as he was trying to undo it with his magic.

“Um, excuse me, Magnum?”

“Can’t ya see I’m-” Magnum began, turning around sharply, but when saw it was me, he relaxed at once. “Oh! It’s you, sport. Long time no see.”

“Do you need some help with that?”

“Wouldn’t mind if ya could. This is what I get for bein’ lazy with my fishing equipment.”

“Well, lemme see if I can undo that.”

I sat beside him and began trying to undo the knot in the line. It was a particular doozy, but I kept at it, all the while talking.

“I actually came by to give you a message from Big Macintosh.”

“Oh yeah? What’s he got to say?”

“He’s thinking of starting a monthly bowling league, and wants to know if you’d be interested in being a part of it.”

“Would I be interested? You bet I would! I love those nights on the lanes! ‘Course, if Cheerilee’s gonna start one too, the missus would want in on it, and we’d probably have to have Rarity look after Sweetie Belle. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind.”

“Nah, those two get along great.”

“Though that reminds me: you’re helping her and her little friends make a racing cart, right?”

“Uh-huh.”

“I might be able to help ya. The missus and I are going out of town early this Saturday, and we’ll be back by night. We’d ask Rarity to, but she’s going up to Canterlot to visit a friend of hers. Do you think you can watch Sweetie Belle for the day? We’ll pay ya 3 bits an hour.”

I had to pause in my unknotting to consider this: from morning until the evening, 3 bits an hour would equal about 30 bits, maybe a little more. That would give us a big jump into the price territory.

“I think I can do that. I’m sure we’ll have plenty of fun.”

Magnum clapped me on the back, almost dunking me into the pond.

“Thanks, son! Knew I could count on ya!”

Ignoring the dull sting in my back, I pulled out the last knot.

“And done! How’s that?”

Magnum let out a low whistle.

“Smooth work, Dave! You’re a natural. Here, have a couple for your trouble.”

He tossed me 3 bits from his shirt pocket, which I accepted. He then gave his fishing pole a toss, and the lure landed with a plunk into the lake.

“Thanks, Magnum. When should I be over on Saturday?”

“Around 8, and tell Big Mac I’m in for this bowling league of his.”

“You bet. See you later!”

I got up and left Magnum to his fishing. As I turned the corner to walk back into Ponyville, I saw his fishing line pull taut. He must have caught a whopper.

Wednesday, November 14, 283 bits.


***


Thursday had me helping Granny Smith with her shopping. As an accomplished baker, she tended to go through baking supplies rather quickly, but usually had Applejack or Big Macintosh to help her out. However, Applejack had to tend the apple stand in the marketplace, and Big Mac was tending the fields, so, naturally, I volunteered. She kept up a running conversation as we walked, my arms getting progressively loaded with shopping bags.

“I mean, honestly, you’d think Aunty Applesauce gilded that ol’ parasol in gold! It was just one little pinata, too! Nothin’ to get her haunches in a bundle about!”

All I could really manage were ‘Uh-huh’s and ‘Mm-hmm’s and ‘Oh really?’s, but Granny Smith didn’t seem to notice. She just seemed glad to have someone to talk to.

At last, we were finished, and she gave me 5 bits for my efforts when we unloaded back at Sweet Apple Acres. I thanked her and made my way back into Ponyville, scouting about for more ponies in need of assistance. I didn’t find somepony, though, but somezebra.

Zecora was milling about with a pair of basket-like saddlebags slung at her sides. She seemed to be looking for something.

“Hi, Zecora!” I greeted.

“Dave! What good fortune, my dear! I was searching for you, and now you are here!”

“Searching for me?”

“Yes, indeed. I have a favor to ask. Do not be discouraged, it is but a small task. I discovered a new potion with effects that astound, but sadly, one ingredient could not be found. I was about to give up on this ancient brew, when I remembered that the ingredient lies with you.”

“With me?” I asked, confused. “I don’t understand.”

“I only require a bit of your hair. Do not take fright, I shan’t shave you bare.”

“You want some of my hair? What is it, Polyjuice Potion?”

“Even I do not know the full effect it produces, but I will quickly find out when the hair is in its juices.”

“Are you sure it’s wise, Zecora? I mean, I’m not doubting your skills as a potion-maker, but attempting a potion even you don’t know the effect of?”

“The book containing this potion is old, and its pages are besmirched with mildew and mold. What little information I could find, said that the potion enhances the mind. You need not fear for my safety in this. I have survived many a brew that had gone amiss.”

“Well...if you’re sure, I guess it couldn’t hurt to lend you some of my hairs.”

Zecora reached into her saddlebags and pulled out a pair of scissors in her teeth. Gingerly, I took them and, as she held out a little glass jar, snipped a few tufts of hair into it.

“Much obliged for your help, my human friend. I shan’t have to make you do that again. Now, let me make that worth your while: 10 bits to add to your race-cart pile.”

She laid out 10 bits into my palm.

“How do you know about the race?” I asked.

“Apple Bloom told me once, when she came to my hut, so I shall help you overcome this financial rut.”

“Thanks, Zecora. I hope this potion you’re making turns out great.”

Zecora smiled, and was turning to go, when she stopped and said, 

“By the way, Dave, if I may speak, what is Polyjuice Potion? It sounds quite unique.”

“Oh, that? I read it in a book. It transforms you into someone else, based on a little something of theirs you put into it.”

Zecora seemed to mull this over for a moment, then, with a slight shrug, she bid me farewell and started off on her way.

A potion that enhanced the mind, huh? Could it heal patches in it, like that one I had about how I came here, and what I was doing before?

Thursday, November 15: 301 bits.


***


With yesterday’s earnings, we were more than halfway there, but we were also halfway through the month, and we still needed time to actually buy the materials, build the cart, and test drive it. We had to step up our games if we wanted to make the deadline.

As I wandered about that day, I heard someone grunting, as if trying to lug around something heavy. Following the noise, I found it to be Spike, who was trying to drag a wagon full of of books all by himself, toward the library. He wasn’t making much headway, either.

“Spike! What are you doing?” I asked, running up to him.

Spike released his hold on the wagon and stopped to catch his breath.

“Oh, hey, Dave...how’s it...going?” he panted.

“Not too bad. Can you say the same for yourself, though?”

“Oh, this?...Twilight wanted me...to fetch a new...order of books from...the Canterlot library...Some extra copies they...had lying around. Thing is...they never said...how many...so I’m stuck with...dragging these home.”

“You, all by yourself? That’s nuts! Stand aside, I’ll help you!”

Spike stepped out of the way. I gripped the handles of the wagon and started forward. It was a heavy load, but it was at least moving. Spike walked beside me, looking on in amazement. He probably thought I was some kind of Hercules, doing this kind of thing.

Eventually, we reached the library, where Twilight was waiting. She took one look at us and gasped.

“Spike!” she said, running over. “Oh my goodness, they had that much?! Oh, why didn’t they say anything? I never would have sent you by yourself if I’d known! You poor thing, I’m so sorry!”

She dragged Spike over into a motherly kind of hug. Spike didn’t resist, but he let out a groan.

“C’mon, Twilight, not in front of Dave. It’s not your fault.”

“I know, but I still should have gone with you. There’s no excuse.”

She then looked up at me.

“Thanks so much, Dave. If you hadn’t come along, Spike might have been dragging that cart until sundown. I’m going to have a word with the Canterlot library about being too vague.”

“It was no trouble at all, Twilight. I couldn’t let Spike suffer this on his own.”

“Well, that kind of hard work deserves a reward. How does 20 sound?”

She levitated a bag of bits into my hand.

“Wow. Thanks, Twilight.”

“You’re very welcome. And as for you, Spike, there’s a nice big sapphire with your name on it.”

Spike’s green eyes lit up instantly at the words. That seemed to have taken the soreness out of his bones.

“Do you want any help bringing that cart in?” I asked.

“No thanks,” said Twilight. “I can handle the unloading, but thanks very much.”

After she placed a big hunk of blue gemstone into Spike’s hands (which he immediately started to munch on), she began levitating the books inside en masse. I had to admit, it made me a little jealous seeing unicorns have it easy like that, but could I really hold it against them?

“By the way, Twi, what Daring Do book comes after Legend of the Earthwing?” I asked.

“Ah, that’s an easy one!” said Twilight, levitating another book forward and into my hands. “Daring Do and the Staff of Star Swirl. Probably my favorite out of all of them!”

I could probably guess why.

“Legend of the Earthwing is turning out really good. I’m not through it yet, but I like how it doesn’t need suspenseful action or a big bad or even a legendary treasure to keep it exciting.”

“I know! It’s wonderful!”

“Well, I should probably let you get to this. Take it easy, ok, Spike?”

“Will do!” Spike called, his mouth full of gem fragments.

I took my leave with my bits and book, while Twilight continued unloading the cart.

Later in the day, I found out that Scootaloo had managed to redeem herself by successfully delivering packages for Derpy this time, and earned a solid 10 bits for a job well done. This, coupled with the 3 she always lent me from her newspaper job, was bringing us ever closer. We only had two weeks left until the race, but I could feel we’d get to 500 soon enough.

Friday, November 16: 334 bits.
> Babysitting Sweetie Belle
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

By about 8 o’clock the following morning, I was walking up to Ponyville Pond. There, I saw a taxi-like wagon sitting outside Magnum and Pearl’s house. The two were just coming out at that moment.

“Ah! Morning, Dave,” said Magnum.

“How are ya, dear?” asked Pearl.

“Pretty good, thanks,” I replied. “Looks like I’m just in time.”

“Yep,” said Magnum. “Sweetie Belle’s still asleep, but should be up soon. We told her she’d be having a babysitter, but we left who it is a surprise. Here’s the spare key to the house, since she’s probably gonna wanna spend time with her little friends today.”

Magnum handed me a small house key.

“We’ll be back later tonight,” he continued, “and just in case we’re not back by 9, make sure Sweetie Belle gets to bed, all right?”

“Got it,” I said, saluting. “Anything else I need to know?”

“Just a couple things,” said Pearl. “She likes oatmeal with honey for breakfast, real easy to make. Also, if she wants to help, the best thing is to let her assist you a little. She likes helping out with whatever she can.”

(Well, that’s pretty sound advice; lets her feel included. Still, what might happen if it goes too far?...)

“You can count on me,” I said.

“I knew we could, sport,” said Magnum, proudly. “See you tonight!”

“Have fun!” I said.

“Oh!” Magnum suddenly said, turning back around. “I almost forgot! We’re expecting an important delivery today, sometime between noon and 5. If you’re gonna be out again today, make sure you’re back in the house by then, so somepony can sign for it.”

“Package, between noon and 5,” I rattled off for memory’s sake. “Consider it done.”

“Swell! See ya later!”

The couple got into the taxi, and the stallion at the harness started off at a brisk trot. Using the key, I let myself in, taking care not to let the door slam. The interior of the house was quite nice, though a little leaning towards ‘Sports Authority’ with its memorabilia hanging about: a football in a glass case, hockey sticks crossed together, a plaqued fish hanging on the wall. Magnum was surely an athletics phenom, but I wondered if Pearl was into that too. Kind of a stupid question, actually; she obviously liked bowling.

There was also a grand piano in the living room. Did Sweetie Belle practice on that? So far, the only ones out of the Crusaders I had seen performing instruments were Scootaloo on the tribal drums and Apple Bloom on the harmonica. Now, for my part, I loved piano music, but I had never actually gotten around to taking lessons. A rather disastrous attempt at learning an instrument back in grade school made me iffy on the subject. Still, I doubt anyone could deny browsing around a music or electronics store and trying out a piano or keyboard on display, just for kicks.

I had almost forgotten Sweetie Belle was still asleep, and sat down at the piano. In what felt like a prerequisite to playing piano, I ran my finger down the keys from one end to the next, then back again. Cautiously, I tested one key, then the next. I tried a simple piece I could hear in my head, but it came out very wrong. I tried again, but it only became slightly better. I now had a feeling that Beethoven had been lucky to be deaf; he didn’t have to hear the kind of sour notes amateurs belted out.

My ‘recital’ came to a halt when I heard somepony giggling from somewhere above me. Looking up, I saw Sweetie Belle peeking through the railing of the second floor.

“Ah! Sweetie Belle! Good morning.”

“Morning! Are you my babysitter?”

“I am. Hope you don’t mind.”

“Nope!” said Sweetie Belle, coming down the stairs. “Mom and Dad didn’t say who’d be here, but I thought it might be you, so you could earn some more bits.”

“Well, that’s one of the reasons,” I consented, “but I also thought it’d be fun to spend some time with you, when it doesn’t involve running all over the place looking for work.”

“Aww, thanks,” said Sweetie Belle, rearing up to lean on the piano’s stool. “I didn’t know you played the piano.”

“You call that playing?” I asked, incredulously. “I stink! That was all by ear.”

“By ear?” asked Sweetie Belle, puzzled. “But you were playing with your hands.”

“Nah, nah,” I said, “it means playing by memory alone.”

“Ohh. Does that mean you have a bad memory?”

“Well, I wouldn’t call it perfect,” I said, “but I guess I just need a little practice. Enough about that, though. Let’s get some breakfast started. Your mom said you like oatmeal with honey.”

“Uh-huh!”

I got up from the stool and made for the kitchen, Sweetie Belle trotting by my side. After locating the pantry, I began scouting around for the oatmeal.

“Let’s see...oatmeal, oatmeal...Aha!”

I grabbed the box and looked over the directions, but was interrupted when I felt Sweetie Belle tug at my pant leg.

“Can I help?” she asked, gazing up at me with her big, adorable eyes. “Please?”

She needn’t have gone that far. I would have let her assist me anyway, as per Pearl's suggestion.

“Of course, Sweetie! You can, hmm…”

I glanced at the box again.

“Fetch me a saucepan.”

Sweetie Belle scampered off, while I rummaged about for some salt and a measuring cup. There was a loud crash from behind, and I turned uneasily around to see Sweetie Belle with a saucepan in her mouth, held by the handle in her teeth, with the rest of the cookery spilled out onto the floor.

“Err, thanks, Sweetie,” I said, receiving the saucepan and placing it on the stove. “We’ll get that later. Now we need a little water and salt.”

Following the instructions on the box, I poured in about a cup of water and a pinch of salt, turning up the heat as I poured in the oatmeal.

“Now this should take a few minutes,” I said. “In the meantime, do you know where the honey is?”

“Yep! I’ll get it!”

There was the sound of rustling and clattering of boxes and bottles as Sweetie Belle searched around. It sounded like she was just tossing stuff out to find the honey.

“Nope. Nope. That’s not it. Eww, what’s that?”

“Uh, Sweetie Belle, are you sure you don’t want me to-”

“I got it, Dave, don’t worry,” said Sweetie Belle, in an idle tone, still tossing stuff out of the pantry. “Aha!”

Finally, she unearthed a bottle of honey and brought it proudly over to me, while I cast a grim look at most of the pantry’s contents sitting on the floor.

“Uh, good work, my little sous-chef,” I said, accepting the bottle.

“What’s a sous-chef?” Sweetie Belle asked, puzzled.

“It’s like a chef’s assistant,” I said. “Their second-in-command.”

“Ooh! So that means I’m Mom’s sous-chef!”

“You help her cook?” I asked, giving the oatmeal a stir.

“She’s been giving me lessons. Well, Rarity has, too. I tried to make her breakfast in bed once.”

“Aww, well that was nice of you. How did it turn out?”

“She said it was ‘burnt’, but I didn’t think it was that bad. I even made her a hot bowl of toast.”

“A...bowl of toast?” I asked, confused. “But, Sweetie Belle, toast is usually served on a plate.”

“Is it? I thought it would spill everywhere if I did that.”

“Spill? What do you-?”

On second thought, maybe it was an Equestrian thing I shouldn’t question.

“Well, you at least tried to do something nice for your sister, and I’m sure she appreciated it.”

“Uh-huh! I always wanna be a big help to my big sister!”

The oatmeal was starting to thicken, so I gave it a few more stirs, then added the honey, mixing it in. 

“Can I help stir? I’ve done it before.”

Well, stirring was easy enough. It couldn’t hurt.

“Of course, Sweetie. C’mere.”

I lifted her up so she could grasp the spoon between her hooves. Unfortunately, she was a little haphazard, and splashes of hot oatmeal went flying, nearly splattering me in the face.

“Nice and steady, Sweetie Belle,” I said, patiently. “Nice and steady.”

Sweetie Belle hummed placidly to herself, ignoring the banging of the spoon against the side of the saucepan as she ‘stirred’. Still, it was a thorough job, and the oatmeal was soon ready. Not wanting to take any chances, I set Sweetie Belle down and ladled out two big bowlfuls of the stuff. I set them on the table, and Sweetie Belle set to it eagerly, while I ate at a more moderate pace. It was kind of odd watching her eat, solely for the fact that she was a unicorn. I’d seen Twilight eat by levitating her food or utensils, but Sweetie Belle gripped her spoon in that weird way pony hooves probably shouldn’t work, and ate that way. Come to think of it, I had never seen her display any traces of magic. Dinky had tried when we were helping Berry, but had failed. Were foals at her age even able to use magic?

Finally, she was finished, and was already carrying her bowl on her back toward the sink. She was too short to reach it, even on hind hooves, but I had a feeling of what she was gonna attempt, and I sallied forth to stop her.

“Up-bup-bup! Hang on, Sweetie, I got it.”

Too late; she tried to lean up and put the bowl in the sink with her hooves, but it slipped from her grasp and fell to the floor with a clatter, sending oatmeal splashes everywhere. I hoped to God the bowl didn’t break or crack.

“Oops,” said Sweetie Belle, guiltily. “Sorry.”

“Never mind, Sweetie, I’ll get it.”

I scooped up the bowl and placed it in the sink, then went to grab some paper towel to wipe up the splatters. I even handed a paper towel to Sweetie Belle so that she could feel like she was helping. After that, I went to right the pans that had been upset in her search for a saucepan, then went to restock the pantry. Hopefully Magnum and Pearl weren’t the types who kept a super-accurate account of what went where in there, because I just tried to put in what went with each other.

“Thanks for making breakfast, Dave,” Sweetie Belle said, once we were done. “You’re almost as good a cook as Mom!”

“Well, I wasn’t born to cook, but thanks for the compliment.”

“Come to think of it,” said Sweetie Belle, “I don’t think you said anything about getting a cutie mark yet. Did you, and you just haven’t been saying anything?”

I froze. Had I ever told the girls humans didn’t get cutie marks? I didn’t remember doing so.

“Er, no,” I said, putting my bowl in the sink. “I suppose I still haven’t found my own calling yet. I don’t really even have a job back at home. Well, not technically.”

“But you’re old,” said Sweetie Belle, before correcting herself by adding, “Well, older. Aren’t you worried about being a blank flank all your life?”

I hesitated. Should I really tell her humans weren’t able to get cutie marks? Wasn’t the whole point of me being a Cutie Mark Crusader the fact that I didn’t have one and was still ‘crusading’ for it? Besides, the only way I wouldn’t be a ‘blank flank’ would be to get a tattoo back home, and I was not doing that for any reason. 

I picked her up so that we were looking each other in the eye.

“It doesn't bother me, Sweetie Belle,” I said. “Humans are capable of several talents, ones they don’t need a cutie mark to express. Besides, I’m just happy to be able to hang out with you kids and help you find yours. You’re all great friends.”

Sweetie Belle smiled and put her little forelegs around my neck.

“I like hanging out with you too, Dave. You’re a fun guy.”

I smiled and patted her fluffy mane.

“Well, now that we’ve got some fuel in the tank, what do you say we attack another Saturday? Well, at least before noon, that is.”

“All right!”


***


As it turned out, once the five of us were assembled again, we did come across another promising job: helping out Pinkie’s friend, Cranky. He lived in a quiet, humble little house not too far from where the Hooves family lived, though the house itself was full of memorabilia from all the places he had visited in his travels. In fact, it was his travels that had brought about what we were tasked to help him with. He had decided, in order to occupy his time and to make some money besides, to design his own travel brochures for the cities and towns he had visited. He had already made them, and we were given the job of folding them up and packing them into boxes.

Contrary to his name, Cranky was actually a pretty pleasant guy. As Pinkie had told me, he had gone through several years trying to find his lost love, Matilda, and had come to Ponyville after giving up, not realizing that Matilda had been living in Ponyville the entire time. He had seen much in his travels, having ventured far and wide to find Matilda without success, and was willing to share his knowledge with the world.

As we worked (I folded and the Crusaders packed), Cranky and I struck up a conversation. He told me about some of the places he had been to, like Manehattan, Fillydelphia, Baltimare, and Vanhoover. He had seen Foal Mountain, the little town of Tall Tale, the village of Hollow Shades, and Neighagra Falls. Obviously, one of the only places he hadn’t been able to visit was Cloudsdale, and he had doubted that Matilda would have somehow ended up there. While his primary goal had been to search for her, he still had the sense to take in the sights around him, and he had made a lot of friends in his wanderings. I had no idea how old Cranky was, but here was a guy who had been literally everywhere.

Hearing about all these places made me realize even more just how huge Equestria really was, and I’d hardly seen a quarter of it, having stuck to Ponyville, with visits to Canterlot and the rock farm area. It gave me a slight hope that someday, Ironmane would have an assignment for me that would allow me to see one of these places. The pictures and descriptions Cranky posted in his brochures were all amazing. No tourist would complain about lack of info with these things.

We wrapped up our work around lunchtime, and Cranky paid us 10 bits for our efforts. He even allowed me to keep one of the brochures I had folded.

“Just in case,” he said. “You never know when wanderlust might strike. And tell Pinkie I said ‘hi’.”

“I will. Thanks, Cranky.”

The five of us took our leave of the donkey, and, since we still had some time left, I decided to walk Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Dinky back home. It turned out Apple Bloom had chores she needed to take care of (which Applejack turned into a game to ease the workload), and Scootaloo was having flying practice with Rainbow Dash in the park, which Dinky wanted to watch.  As we walked, the conversation turned to the race.

“It’s gonna feel awful weird to not have to go around lookin’ for jobs once this derby’s over," said Apple Bloom.

“Tell me about it. It might even be before then, since we need time to actually build the cart.”

“Do you think we’ll win?” asked Scootaloo.

“Hmm. It’s kind of tough to say at this point, since we haven’t actually started building the cart yet. However, if we’re as diligent with it as we were in raising the money, I don’t see how we can fail.”

“Ah just don’t want Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon to have another excuse for bullyin’ us," said Apple Bloom.

“You’re not still letting them bother you, are you?”

“We try not to, but they keep talkin’ about the cart Diamond Tiara had specially built, and the new racin’ outfit she’s gonna wear.”

“Sounds like Diamond Tiara’s most of the focus right there. What about Silver Spoon?”

“She’s not as bad as Diamond Tiara, but she’s still kinda rude sometimes.”

It sounded like Diamond Tiara was something like an influence on Silver Spoon, like a lackey following a leader just so they wouldn’t get picked on themselves. But then, why would she have that worry? They had started teasing the Crusaders for being blank flanks, but Silver Spoon had hers, albeit one I couldn’t even begin to fathom the meaning of. Call it sappy, but I was the kind of guy who liked to imagine there being good in everyone. Somewhere, deep down, even those two couldn’t be as bad as all that.

I was jerked out of my thoughts when I saw that we had reached Sweet Apple Acres. Apple Bloom bid us goodbye and scampered off to meet up with Applejack, while we made for the Hooves house, where Rainbow would meet the aspiring young flier. I had to learn to stop spacing out like that. It was starting to become a frequent issue.


***


Thankfully, it was not yet noon by the time we got back to the house.

“Ok, Sweetie Belle, while we play the ‘Waiting Game’ for the package, I’ll get some lunch started.”

“I could help-”

“No!” I said, before I could stop myself.

Sweetie Belle’s ears lowered sadly, and I knew I’d goofed. I cleared my throat.

“Sorry, Sweetie Belle. What I meant was, it’ll be easier if one of us is sitting around listening for the door while the other gets lunch ready. With all the noise you can make while cooking, you’d be hard-pressed to hear the door and be able to get there in time. See what I mean?”

Sweetie Belle perked back up.

“Uh-huh! I get what you mean. I’ll sit here, but on one condition.”

“What’s that?” I asked, uneasily.

“You let me make us both dinner!”

“Huh?!”

“It’ll be amazing! I promise!”

What was I supposed to say? If I said no again, she might have a fit or start crying. That’s the problem with watching kids: they can be so volatile, yet we often forget we were once like that, too.

“Ok,” I finally said. “I’ll let you cook dinner for us.”

Sweetie Belle’s face lit up like Celestia’s sun. She zipped to the sofa and plunked her little hindquarters down, sitting in an attentive stance, one ear aimed at the door. I, for my part, went to the kitchen to get things started.

(Ohh, why did I agree to something like that?...Well, we’ve all got to make compromises, I guess.)

I righted the pantry stock and set up a pot for some mac and cheese, one of my specialties back home. All the while, I kept my ears strained for any sound of the door, just in case. But there was no knock, no doorbell, nothing. With my luck, the package would probably be here at 5, right on the dot. Well, no big deal. Sweetie Belle and I could still have fun while we waited.

When I called for Sweetie Belle, she came trotting in and saluted.

“Package has not yet arrived, sir,” she said, briskly.

“At ease, cadet,” I said, grinning.

Sweetie Belle then eagerly turned to look at her flank, which was unchanged.

“Er, what are you looking for?”

“A package-expector cutie mark! ...Aw, shoot.”

(What would that even look like? A pony sitting on their rump and a box?)


***


For such a little kid, Sweetie Belle had a sizeable room, but appropriately decorated for a little girl: pink wallpaper bedecked with hearts, wood floor with a flower-shaped rug in the middle, and a cozy bed with two pillows. On her bedside dresser was a framed photo of the entire family on what looked like a lake-side golf course, Magnum and Pearl together, and Rarity with a foreleg around Sweetie Belle, who was beaming.

Sweetie Belle dug out some paper and crayons, and that brightened me up quite a bit. I wasn’t an expert when it came to drawing, but it was still a hobby of mine. So the two of us set ourselves on the floor, drawing and coloring, making several pictures between us. I actually managed to pull off a decent depiction of the four filly Crusaders together, with the logo above their heads. Sweetie Belle thought it was incredible, and asked if she could keep it for the fridge, which I said yes to. She then showed me her best piece: a crayon drawing of me and the four of them. It was pretty good, and even had our basic colors down right. I was towering like a giant over them, with my stick figure arms and big feet, but it still looked nice. This time, Sweetie Belle actually gave it to me as a gift, a gift I graciously accepted.

From there, we played a couple board games, like that Battleship game that came up at the slumber party. Sweetie Belle beat me twice out of three games. I guess pegasi weren’t the only ones who were skilled at this thing. I had just barely glanced over the rules about cloud and sky sections, and the proper terms for losing game pieces, so maybe that contributed to my failure. I wondered if Rainbow Dash could give me any tips on how to play it right, because it must have had to do with predictable piece placement.

The hours were snailing by, but there was still no sign of the package. It was getting closer and closer to 5, and the two of us were now whiling away the time with a game of Go Fish.

“Got any 3s?” I asked.

“Go fish!” said Sweetie Belle.

“Is that package ever gonna come?” I asked, drawing a card from the deck.

“I hope so. Mom and Dad are giving me 3 bits for waiting for it!”

“3 bits, plus whatever I’m making tonight?” I asked, incredulously. “Sweetie Belle, I don’t mean to sound like a broken record, but we’re gonna be at 500 bits in no time!”

“I know, right? I’m so excited! Any 8s?”

“Dang it, how are you beating me?” I asked, handing over my 8.

“Just lucky, I guess,” said Sweetie Belle, grinning cutely.

After the game, I packed up the cards.

“Does Rarity do stuff like this with you?” I asked.

“Sometimes,” said Sweetie Belle. “She moved out when I was really young, and I only really got to see her when I visited the boutique. She used to always be really busy, though.”

“Well, I can understand that, I suppose. Running an independent fashion store can’t be easy.”

“Yeah, but she used to play with me a lot before she moved out. Mom and Dad would take us to the park, and we’d play tag or hide and seek, or just watch the butterflies.”

“Rarity? Playing tag or hide and seek? You sure about that?”

“She wasn’t as fussy when she was younger. I kinda miss those days.”

“Well, you two still get along now, though, right?”

“Yeah. It’s gotten a lot better recently. One time, I was out catching frogs after it rained. Rarity came outside, and I thought she was gonna get really mad at me, because I was so muddy and wet, but instead, she just said, ‘I think you forgot something’, and she gave me a raincoat she designed.”

“Really? That was nice of her.”

“Yep! She only got mad when I tripped after catching a really big frog, and it hit her in the face. I thought it was funny,” she added, with a shrug.

“Probably for you, but not for her, I imagine,” I said.

“But that was nothing compared to…”

From there, the two of us just chatted the day away, until it wore on into evening.


***


I couldn’t remember feeling as tense as I did right now, and it wasn’t from waiting for the package. 5 o’clock had come and gone, and there was still no sign of it. There must have been a delay or a mix-up with the order. Nothing was impossible, I suppose.

No, my agitation was for something much worse: Sweetie Belle was cooking, and didn’t want me in the kitchen so she could surprise me. All the time, I was waiting for some kind of disaster to happen: something to break, the smoke alarm to go off, anything that told me that letting Sweetie Belle cook by herself was a horrible idea. But none of that came, and that was what worried me.

The smell of something baked was wafting from the kitchen, but I couldn’t place what it was. Wait, that meant Sweetie Belle was using the oven! What kind of babysitter was I, letting her use the oven all by herself?! I had to stop her before she hurt herself!

I was just rushing to the kitchen door when it swung open. There stood Sweetie Belle, besmirched with flour but looking happy.

“All done!” she said, in a singsong voice.

Bracing myself, I stepped inside, expecting to see some blackened, burned, indefinable blob at the table. Instead, to my surprise, there stood a normal-looking pie, steaming placidly on the table.

“Sweetie Belle!” I gasped. “You made that yourself?”

“Uh-huh! Now come on, get a slice while it’s still warm!”

My interest getting the upper hand, I cut some big slices of the pie and set one for each of us. I took a forkful and bit right into it, though I had to consider what I was chewing on. It was both chewy and crunchy, with an almost suffocatingly sweet mixture of flavors, like fruit and candy. I swallowed the mouthful I had and asked,

“What kind of pie is this?”

“My own special recipe!” said Sweetie Belle, proudly. “Sweetie Belle’s Sweet-tastic Smorgasbord Pie! I used apples, bananas, cherries, raspberries, jelly beans, chocolate chips, lemon drops, peanut butter, aaaand,” she added, for emphasis, before plopping a scoop of vanilla ice cream on top, “it’s a la mode!”

I wasn’t sure what to say. It was weird, sure, but it wasn’t horrible. The worst she could have done, besides burning it, was probably making a pie of cherries and carrots, or strawberries and mushrooms. Compared to those possibilities, this was delicious. Overly sugary, yes, but delicious.

My hesitation seemed to deliver the wrong message to Sweetie Belle, as her face fell.

“You don’t like it?” she asked, softly.

“What? Oh, no-no-no, Sweetie, I do like it! It’s just so...unexpected. I’m amazed you did this all by yourself. I was worried that something might happen if I wasn’t supervising.”

“Well, I wanted it to be a surprise,” said Sweetie Belle. “It’s something I wanted to try for a while, but couldn’t find the right time.”

“Well, I think you did an excellent job, Sweetie, and I appreciate the thought. Who knows? You might get a cutie mark in fancy cooking.”

“That’s what Mom said, but I haven’t seen one yet. Maybe I need to try harder. I’ve gotta make bigger, better stuff!”

“Er, let’s take it a step at a time, Sweetie Belle,” I said, “and just enjoy this, er, Sweet-tastic Smorgasbord.”

Sweetie Belle beamed, and we dug in. I’d probably have to see Minuette about this if this pie was as cavity-inducing as it was sweet.


***


“This is getting ridiculous. Where is that package?”

It was 7:30, and there was still no sign of that delivery. I had taken Sweetie Belle with me into the living room, after we cleaned up the kitchen and put away what was left of the pie (we both ended up having two slices), and were feeling full and lethargic. Sweetie Belle sat beside me, half-asleep, hooves resting on her little tummy. It probably wasn’t a good idea for her to fall asleep now, since it’d probably have to be her who signed for the package, as she was the mare of the house today. It was so quiet and still that the clock’s ticking seemed louder than it should be.

All of a sudden, there came a rapid knocking at the door, and the two of us jolted awake. We sped for the door together, and I swung it open, revealing a tired-looking Derpy, her mailbag slung at her side and a postal cap on her head.

“Dave? What are you doing here?” she asked, blinking rapidly, as if she were blaming her eyes for seeing me in a place that wasn’t my own home.

“I’m babysitting Sweetie Belle,” I said.

“Oh. Hi, Sweetie Belle!” she added, sweetly.

“Hi, Miss Hooves!” said Sweetie Belle.

“I’m really sorry about this,” said Derpy, to me. “The courier who was supposed to bring the package got sick with the feather flu, and we didn’t know about it until after the time frame for the package had expired, so they first had to find him, then find a replacement to get the package and bring it over, so here I am.”

“Ooh, that’s pretty rough,” I said, sympathetically.

“Tell me about it. Anyway, I just need one of you to sign for it.”

She brought out a clipboard and pen, both held in one of her wings.

“Sweetie Belle?” I asked.

“Okey-doke!”

Sweetie Belle took the pen in her teeth and scribbled her name on the signature line, rather neatly, I had to say.

“Thank you!” said Derpy.

She handed over a medium-sized box. It was kind of heavy as I took it from her, making me wonder what it was.

“I’d better be off. Sparkler’s watching the kids, so they should be fine until I get back.”

“How’s flying lessons for Scootaloo going, by the way?”

“Great!” said Derpy. “She’s not quite airborne, yet, but she’s close. Rainbow Dash is really pleased with her results so far. She even said she’s a fast learner, just like when she was her age.”

That made me smile. Sweetie Belle looked excited at the thought of her best friend being able to fly soon.

“Well, good night, you two.”

“Good night, Derpy.”

“Good night, Miss Hooves!”

Derpy flew off, and I lugged the package over to the living room’s coffee table.

“What is this thing, anyway?”

“Must be Mom’s new blender. She and Dad are always active, so she got interested in making smoothies for their workout days.”

“Really? Sounds like something else you could learn to make with her help.”

“Hey, yeah! Maybe that’s what’s making me miss a cooking cutie mark: smoothie-making!”

“Could be,” I said, though I inwardly wondered if it was wise to trust Sweetie Belle near a blender, supervised or not.


***


Finally having the package delivered did little to assuage the lethargy that being full of pie brought. I did what I could to pass the time by telling jokes or funny stories (appropriate for her age, of course), which did entertain her and make her laugh, but as it was drawing close to 8:30, she was having more and more trouble keeping her eyes open.

“Guess it’s about that time, huh?” I asked. “Come here, sleepy-bones.”

I picked her up lightly and carried her upstairs, but she made no resistance to it. I made sure she brushed her teeth, then tucked her into her bed. She looked very comfy between those two pillows.

“Cozy?” I asked.

“Mm-hmm,” she said, sleepily.

After a pause, she said,

“Dave?”

“Mm?”

“Thanks for watching me. I had lots of fun today.”

“You’re welcome, Sweetie Belle.”

She raised her forelegs up, and I perceived what she was about. Smiling gently, I bent down so she could give me a hug.

“Good night, Sweetie Belle,” I said.

“Good night…”

She released her hold and settled back onto her pillows. Her eyes slowly closed, and she was soon snoring gently. Softly, I exited the room and made my way downstairs. No sooner had I done so than the front door opened, and Magnum and Pearl stepped inside.

“Shh!” I urged them, before they could say anything, then pointed upstairs.

“She’s asleep already?” whispered Magnum. “Good job, Dave. How did it go?”

“Really well,” I whispered. “She was well-behaved the whole time.”

“Wonderful,” whispered Pearl. “We knew you were the right man for the job.”

“We’re kinda in the middle of an hour here,” said Magnum, “but we’ll compromise and say 33 bits. How does that sound?”

“If that’s all right with you.”

“Of course. You’ve earned it, son.”

Magnum handed over another bag of bits, this one jingling profusely. I had to take care not to move it too much, or I’d wake Sweetie Belle.

“Thanks a lot,” I said.

“You’re welcome, dear,” said Pearl. “and thank you for watching her. Did our package arrive?’ 

“Yeah, a little late, but it was no big deal. Just excuse us if there’s a bit of a mess in the kitchen. We kinda went all-out in making dinner tonight. Sweetie Belle wanted to surprise me.”

“Aww, the sweet little darling,” said Pearl. “Well, it’s no trouble. We’re just thankful you could keep an eye on her. Good night.”

“Good night.”

I handed Magnum back the spare key and made my way out as quietly as I could. Today had certainly been profitable and eventful. In all honesty, I would have watched over Sweetie Belle even without pay. It was a bit of a hassle to make sure she didn’t make a mess, but she was a sweet kid, just like all of the Crusaders, and friends like that were always worth the trouble.

Saturday, November 17: 383 bits.
> The Best-Laid Plans of Foals and Men
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“‘But as she came to the top of the rise, she stopped and looked back down. There was the glen, and there was Arbor, seeing her off. Even if he’d never let it show on that stoic face of his, Daring allowed herself a smile in knowing that he would miss her, as she would miss him.’”

Moonlight and I were settled together on her sofa, Legend of the Earthwing between us. It hadn’t rained today, but I felt like the girls deserved a break for working so hard, so we decided to meet in the clubhouse later to discuss what other means we could utilize to earning bits. I therefore had time to finish the book with my young neighbor, and we finally managed to work our way through the book by mid-afternoon.

“That was a really interesting diversion from the usual stuff,” said Moonlight.

“Yeah. Wonder how the Staff of Star Swirl will go, though.”

“It sounds really mysterious, but let’s save it for next time. My eyes are tired.”

She stretched and yawned, and I even fancied I heard her wing joints crack.

“Fair enough,” I said. “I’ll see you later, Moonlight.”

“Bye!”

She walked me to the door, and I made for home. Once inside, I set the book down on the table, and was just heading for the kitchen when someone knocked at the front door.

“Who is it?” I called.

“L.D.S.!” responded the knocker, whose voice I recognized as Spike’s.

Sure enough, when I opened the door, there he was, dragging a red wagon behind him. It was full of books and covered by a thick tarp.

“Hi, Spike. What does ‘L.D.S.’ mean?”

“Library Delivery Service! Twilight sent me out to see if anypony needed books borrowed or returned, for those who can’t make it to the library in person.”

He puffed out his chest in pride of being chosen for such a job..

“Congrats!” I said. “That’s a big responsibility.”

“I know! Just goes to show how much faith she puts in me. Anyways, she also asked me to give this to you.”

He held up a thick gray tome, titled ‘Engineering for Beginners’. I accepted it and flipped through it, curious.

“Since you must be really close to your goal, Twilight thought you might need to brush up on actually building your cart. If you ask me,” he added, as an aside, “it says it’s for beginners, but I can’t make heads or tails of it.”

“Well, it does look a little complex,” I said, “but we should have plenty of time, if we go by it. There’s even an entire section on motors! And here I was thinking we’d need to go by pedal power.”

“Twi knew you’d like it!” said Spike.

“Well, tell her I said thanks. This’ll be a big help.”

“Yes, sir!” said Spike, saluting.

I was turning back into the house, when I remembered something.

“Oh! That reminds me! Spike, there’s something to go to the library on the table there. Do you think you can take care of it?”

“Sure thing!”

I continued leafing through the book as Spike came in.

“Can I get you anything?” I asked, keeping my attention on the pages. “Water? Juice? Hot cocoa?”

“No thanks!” said Spike, and I heard him grunt as he picked up his return load. “I’ve gotta get back anyway. See you later!”

“Bye!”

I heard Spike close the door behind him. I just stood there, leafing through the sections of the book. I was no mechanic or engineer, but it fascinated me to know that Equestria had such similar technology to Earth. A little archaic, perhaps, but still similar. Back at the Q&A, Twilight had told me that certain amenities that we humans had, such as television, computers, and the like, were at least known of in Equestria, but otherwise rare in physical existence. This book, however, was a gold mine in our endeavor. Why did I ever think we’d need bike pedals for propulsion if Equestria had its hooves on operating motor technology?

At last, I snapped the book shut.

“This is great! Once we reach the last bits we need, we can get a quick start on construction! I’d better tell the girls! And just in time for the meeting, too! How lucky!”

I tucked the book under my arm and headed out the door. Spike was already on his way back to the library, so I had to round up the rest of the Crusaders myself.

“Well, hello, Mr. Dave!”

Uh oh. That voice…

As I dreaded, Diamond Tiara was just coming up the path that led to Sweet Apple Acres. For once, Silver Spoon was absent.

“Hello, Diamond Tiara,” I said, politely. “What brings you around here?”

“I was just taking a little stroll through the country while Daddy’s shopping.”

“How nice,” I said.

(Stroll through the country? More like you went to gloat to Apple Bloom or any other foal who’d listen.)

“And how’s your little project coming along?” she asked.

“Really good. We’re close to 400 bits already.”

“Wow!” she said, though I wasn’t sure if her surprise was genuine or sarcastic. “You’re really pushing yourselves. I mean, nearly 400 bits in 2 weeks? You might just make it.”

“Oh, we’re not slacking off yet,” I said. “We’re making sure we have all the time we need to make our cart properly.”

“I still think you’d have a better chance at just having one made for you,” said Diamond Tiara. “After all, what makes you more comfortable: knowing your cart was being handled by professionals, or by foals who probably wouldn’t know a monkey wrench from a screwdriver?”

“You don’t know that,” I retorted, though still keeping my temper under control. “They may just surprise you.”

Diamond Tiara just smirked in response, as if to say she wasn’t convinced.

“Well, I really should get going. We don’t have time to lose.”

“Ta-ta.”

I walked off, leaving Diamond Tiara to herself. I didn’t look back, but I could almost feel her mean little eyes watching me as I went.


***


I arrived last to the clubhouse, the girls having beaten me there. Sweetie Belle seemed to be regaling them with a description of her Sweet-tastic Smorgasbord Pie.

“Oh. Mah. Gosh!” said Apple Bloom. “That sounds like the most fantastic pie Ah’ve ever heard!”

“Sweet-tastic, Apple Bloom,” corrected Dinky. “Weren’t you listening?”

“I can make it again someday,” said Sweetie Belle. “You’ll love it!”

“My mouth’s already watering for it!” said Scootaloo.

“Trust me,” I said, as I entered, “a pie like that is worth the wait.”

The fillies looked up as I sat down.

“Where’ve you been?” asked Dinky. “You said 3:45, and now it’s 4!”

“Sorry, girls, I was held up a bit. Diamond Tiara wanted to chat.”

A dark cloud seemed to pass over the faces of the fillies, especially Apple Bloom.

“Ah already had an earful of what she had to say,” she said. “She came by to brag about her cart, and about the slick racin’ outfit she's gonna wear for the race.”

(So I was right: she did just want to brag.)

“Well, don’t worry about her, gals. We’ve got other matters to attend to. Now, we originally organized this meeting to discuss our next methods of raising bits, but Spike dropped by with this book, per Twilight’s suggestion.”

I laid the book down on the table, and the girls crowded around to take a look.

“Engineering for Beginners?” queried Scootaloo.

“Exactly! We’ll keep it here as a reference guide for when we’re ready to start work building the cart. That way, we’ll know how to make it look and drive right. Think we can handle it?”

The girls looked excited.

“Definitely!” said Apple Bloom.

“I already know a little engineering,” said Scootaloo, grinning. “I’ve been working on building a motor for our next parade float. Besides, how do you think I keep my scooter in such good working order?”

“It’s true!” said Dinky. “I see her wiping it down and fiddling with the wheels all the time!”

“And Apple Bloom rebuilt the clubhouse all by herself!” said Sweetie Belle. “She knows a little about building!”

“Eeyup!” said Apple Bloom, proudly.

“That’s great! With what you already know, plus what this book can teach us, there’s no way we can fail! Let’s do it!”

“Yeah!”

The five of us high-fived (or, high-hoofed, whatever the case may be) across the table. We were gonna be unstoppable.

Sunday, November 18: 386 bits.


***


The next day dawned like any other, and I was out and about once again. Fluttershy needed her yard swept of leaves, as she didn’t want any stray leaves blocking up her burrowing animals’ dens, so I set to work raking and sweeping. I worked near Fluttershy, so that the two of us could talk. As the weather was turning colder, she was wearing a cute, fluffy scarf around her neck that matched her eyes.

“It feels like I don’t see you as much, Fluttershy,” I said, “and I’m really sorry about that.”

“Oh, you don’t have to be sorry,” said Fluttershy. “I know you must be really busy, helping the girls with raising bits for the derby. I’m just glad to help out any way I can.”

“Still, I’ll try to find something for the two of us to do. I hate feeling like I’ve neglected any of my friends.”

Fluttershy smiled kindly, and I went on with my work.

In the end, I made another 10 bits out of this job. With that, added to Scootaloo’s 3 from her paper route, coupled with the addition from Ironmane, would put us over 400! Only about 100 more, and we’d have enough to buy the supplies we needed!

Something was different, however, as I went to make my latest deposit. It was around the time Ironmane usually stopped by to deliver my stipend, but he wasn’t there. The money was, however. It was in the mailbox, with a note attached.

“David,
I apologize for not staying around to deliver you your dues in person. Something urgent has called me back to Canterlot immediately. You need not worry about it; I can handle it myself.
Enjoy your week,
Minister Ironmane.”

I wondered what kind of urgent business could have called him back, but figured he’d be the last person to question about his personal affairs. So, I picked up the bag and headed inside.

When I came in, the first thing I noted was that the window was open. I must have forgotten to close it from using it as a breeze vent last night. I made for the living room table to deposit the bits, but what I saw made my mouth fall open in horror, the bag fall from my hand, and my blood turn to ice.

There was nothing on the living room table.

It was empty.

The jar, our haven of collected bits, the protector of our accumulated wealth, was gone!

Monday, November 19: 0 bits.
> To Catch a Thief
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

This wasn’t happening.

This couldn’t be happening!

It was like a nightmare!

The jar, and every last bit we had scrimped and saved for 2 weeks, was just gone!

Nearly 400 bits had vanished!

We were right back where we started, with less than 2 weeks left until the derby.

Now there wasn’t even going to be a derby for us.

No. No, that couldn’t be. What was I thinking? Maybe I’d just put the jar somewhere else. Laughing at myself for being such a drama queen, I set about searching for it. However, as time went on, my initial confidence at making a mistake was ebbing away, and I was beginning to get frustrated. The jar really was nowhere to be found! I was finding it harder and harder to hold back cursing as I overturned everything in my search.

“Where are you, you stupid-?!” I growled, before I stopped myself, straightened up, and took a deep breath. “Ok, Dave, get a hold of yourself. There’s a reasonable explanation for this. Maybe one of the girls took it with them. I don’t know how or when, but it’s a possibility!”

The door suddenly opened. I turned around to look, just to see the girls walking in.

(Please let it be with them. Please, please, please!)

“Dave?” called Apple Bloom.

“You left your front door open,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Mind if we come in?” asked Scootaloo.

“We might have found another job!” said Dinky.

Their hooves were empty. They didn’t have the jar on them. I was willing to chalk up the jar’s disappearance as the fault of a bad memory, but seeing this, my last resource, exhausted?

“Girls, I’m so…so very sorry…” I said, feeling myself sink to my knees.

The four looked puzzled and concerned.

“Dave? What’s wrong?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Are you ok?” asked Apple Bloom.

Mutely, I lifted a numb arm toward the table. They looked at it, and they let out gasps of horror, staring dumbstruck at the empty spot where the jar used to be.

“It’s...gone,” Apple Bloom muttered.

“All of it, gone,” muttered Sweetie Belle.

“We were so close…” murmured Scootaloo.

Dinky just sniffled.

“Girls,” I croaked. “I’m so sorry...It’s my fault.”

The girls said nothing, their backs facing me. I shut my eyes and hung my head, a sore lump in my throat. They must have hated my guts right now. It was my careless actions that cost us the jar and the derby. Why did I have to leave that stupid window open?!

My eyes opened again when I felt something touch me. Looking down, I saw Dinky hugging my arm. Her adorable little eyes were full of tears.

“Don’t cry, Dave,” she said, in a choked voice. “I’m not mad at you.”

“Dinky…”

“Nor am I,” said Apple Bloom, coming over and putting her little forelegs around me.

“Me neither,” said Sweetie Belle, hugging me in turn.

Scootaloo said nothing, but her little hug said what her lack of words didn’t.

“Girls…” I managed to say. “You should be mad at me. I lost us our bits!”

“No, you didn’t, Dave,” said Apple Bloom. “We always kept it here, so you couldn’t have lost it. Somepony had to have taken it!”

“What would have happened if you’d been in here when the thief struck?” asked Sweetie Belle, her green eyes wide. “What if they attacked you for the bits?”

“We wouldn’t want to have lost you,” whimpered Dinky.

“Oh, girls…”

I enveloped the four fillies in my arms. God bless their innocent hearts…

“Besides,” Scootaloo finally said, “we can still get them back.”

“How?” I asked, letting them go.

“By tracking down the thief.”

I stared at her. Her tough little face was set with pugnacious determination, as if she were willing to buck the offender in the back of the head, however many buckets she’d have to stack to reach that high.

“But, Scoot, the thief could be anypony, and potentially dangerous!” I said.

“I think I know who that somepony is. Diamond Tiara!”

Her voice rang through the quiet house, filled with rage. All of us stared at her.

“Scootaloo, you can’t possibly-”

“I knew she was a bully, but I never expected her to be a thief!”

“Scootaloo, what evidence is there?”

“Plenty! Didn’t you say you were talking with her before you came to the meeting?”

“Well, yeah.”

“And where did you talk to her?”

“Outside the house, but-”

“When did you leave that window open?”

“What is this, the Inquisition? Yesterday. I wanted a breeze.”

Scootaloo went to the window and looked up at it. It was open about halfway.

“No full-grown pony could fit through that gap,” she said. “They’d have to be the size of a foal to do it. Besides, even if Diamond Tiara didn’t do it herself, she might have asked Silver Spoon to do it for her!”

“Scootaloo, you’re being ridiculous!” I said. “Sure, the evidence might point to her, but you’re missing one crucial component to crime-solving!”

“What’s that?”

“Motive! Why would she steal the jar? Why would she need it?”

“To spite us, of course!”

“That’s all you’ve got? I hate to say it, Scoot, but mere spite doesn’t give way to petty theft, especially when it’s from somepony already as wealthy as Diamond Tiara. She was having her cart built by professionals, after all. I think it’s safe to say she has plenty of bits on her.”

“She’s always making fun of us for being blank flanks, and she hates seeing anypony better than her at something! For all we know, she could have been eliminating the competition, so she’d win by default!”

“Scoot, you can’t just jump to conclusions like-”

“Or,” she suddenly added, “she could have used it to buy her racing suit!”

“What?!”

“Yeah!” Scootaloo went on. “Buy herself a fancy racing outfit and not put a dent in her wallet!”

“Scootaloo, really-”

“Come on, girls! Let’s get our bits back!”

She charged out the door before I could stop her. The others looked at me.

“We’d better stop her,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Yeah,” said Dinky. “Scoot’s scary when she’s mad.”

The three fillies shot after the reckless pegasus, while I sat rooted to the spot in mute astonishment. One minute we were bemoaning the loss of the jar, now Scootaloo was on a manhunt,  er, fillyhunt for Diamond Tiara. Things were escalating out of control. Making sure I closed the window and the door this time, I raced after them.

“She couldn’t have done it,” I mused to myself as I ran. “Why would she? If only I could figure out what really happened...When was the last time I’d seen the jar?”

I wracked my brains, and whacked them, for good measure, but it did no good. The only thing I could think of was seeing Diamond Tiara outside my house, the meeting with the girls, and raking leaves for Fluttershy. Where was the proper window of time for the thief to have struck?

What I needed was a bolster, something to kick my brain cells into high gear to solve this conundrum. What I needed was…

“...Zecora!”

*Bump!*

Did she have some sense that told her when I needed her assistance? I literally ran into her, quite by accident, pulling myself into an abrupt halt. She turned around, surprised.

“Why, Dave, it is you! Whatever is the matter? Your shout sent my heart into a pitter-patter!”

“Zecora!” I panted. “That...brain enhancement…potion! Is it...did you...is it done?”

Zecora looked puzzled for an instant, then gave an exclamation of realization.

“Ah! Yes, of course! The secret recipe! It is quite ready. Look here, and you will see.”

She fished around in her saddlebag with one hoof and held out a red glass phial balanced in it. The liquid inside was dark, the glass making it look like blood.

“Does it...really work?” I panted.

“It does indeed, as I tried it for myself. It shall have a proper place on my potions shelf. The effects quite alarmed me when I first tried it, but there is some powerful, potent magic inside it.”

“Do you think...I could…” I wheezed, but Zecora seemed to already have an answer.

“My dear human friend, you need not request. This bottle is for you, so let your worries rest. You helped me make it, so why shouldn’t I share? You seem to need it, so here it is. We are fair and square.”

She handed the bottle over to me.

“Thanks, Zecora. You’re a wonder.”

Zecora smiled warmly.

“One swallow is all you need, but do not be frightened. The effects are just your mind’s acuteness being heightened.”

With that, she bid me farewell and headed off. I looked down at the little bottle. One swallow was all I needed, huh? There seemed to only be enough for one swallow. I uncorked the phial, and it gave off a strong, medicine-like smell, reminding me vividly of Robitussin. I hated that stuff.

“Well, bottoms up,” I said, and drained the phial.

The medicine smell carried right into the taste. It wasn’t pleasant at all. It came close to making me gag.

“Ugh...got a bit of an aftertaste,” I muttered.

Then, it happened.

A strong heat began to creep over my scalp. This was highly unusual, as it was such a cool day. I slapped a hand to my forehead, and felt its rapidly growing warmth. Was I developing a fever? I was starting to get nervous.

Then, the heat changed into something else: a kind of crackling, bubbling feeling inside my skull. It felt like bubbles popping inside it, mixed with electricity coursing around. Was my brain going to catch on fire? I gripped my head in anxiety, wondering why I’d ever agreed to this in the first place.

*WHAM!*

I was knocked stiff by an invisible blow. It was as if a hammer had been forcibly slammed against the base of my brain. Stars danced in front of my eyes, and my ears rang briefly before going quiet again. I coughed, and a cloud of smoke escaped.

“Whew…” I breathed. “That’s a spicy meat-a-ball.”

And then, it came to me in a flash. The events of yesterday were coming in clearer, as if there was a fog that someone was waving away with a fan. There was another window of opportunity for a thief to make their move, one I’d never even recognized!

I had to find the girls!


***


I had arrived just in time. In the center of town, Scootaloo was bearing down like a bulldog on Diamond Tiara, who was wearing a sleek blue and white jumpsuit and a crash helmet. Seemed she felt like showing it off after all. Silver Spoon was by her side, watching the confrontation in dumbfoundment, alongside Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Dinky. Diamond Tiara, however, was not backing down.

“What are you talking about?!”

“You heard me! We want it back!”

“Want what back?”

“Our bit jar! You stole it from us!”

“What?! Why would I want to steal it?”

“Hold it, hold it!” I yelled, stepping between them and pushing them apart.

“Lemme go, Dave!” Scootaloo yelled.

“That’s right, keep your little attack dog away from me!” Diamond Tiara snapped.

“Attack dog?!” Scootaloo snarled, squirming to get past my hand.

“Scootaloo, for the last time, I do not think Diamond Tiara stole our bit jar!” I shouted.

“See? He’s got more sense than you!” said Diamond Tiara. “At least he didn’t jump in boo-hooing about lost bits just because I have a new racing suit.”

“Which you bought with our stolen bits!”

“How dare you!”

“Scootaloo, that’s enough!” I roared.

Scootaloo stopped fighting and backed down, looking terrified at my tones. Several ponies stopped in the street to look at us.

“You’re being ridiculous,” I said, in a calmer tone. “I know you kids aren’t exactly friends, but is this any reason to go for her throat?”

“But-” Scootaloo began, but I silenced her by holding up my hand.

“I ran into Zecora,” I said. “She gave me something to help my memory, and I remembered all of what happened yesterday. I did talk to Diamond Tiara yesterday, and I did leave her by my house, but my window wasn’t open, then. I opened it at night. Even then, I doubt very much she’d have gone sneaking around that late, just to play cat burglar.”

The fillies stared at me.

“Diamond Tiara?” I asked, making her jump, as if she were scared she’d be yelled at too.

“Yeah?”

“When did you buy your suit?”

“About a week ago. Daddy said it matches my eyes. Do you like it?”

She gave her mane a prim toss.

“It looks very nice on you,” I said.

“Why, thank you!”

The Crusaders looked at each other, probably wondering if that stuff meant for my brain hadn’t somehow damaged my senses.

“Scootaloo, did you even think about when she might have bought the suit?”

“W-Well, no, but-”

“Yet you made the claim that she used the stolen bits to buy this suit? A suit that, by her own testimony, was already purchased before the jar was stolen?”

“Well, yeah, but-”

“Then what other motive does she have beyond your flimsy accusal of spite?”

“Spite?!” Diamond Tiara asked, aghast. “We’re not friends, but I wouldn’t stoop that low! I don’t have to take anything from babies like them!”

“Diamond Tiara’s no cheater and no thief!” piped up Silver Spoon.

“And I believe you,” I said.

The two bullying fillies looked from me to each other. They must have thought I was crazy to be sticking up for them, when I was with the fillies they typically tormented.

“But then who took the jar, if you don’t think it was her?” Scootaloo asked.

“I’m glad you asked,” I said. “Follow me, girls. Diamond Tiara, Silver Spoon, I hope you can forgive us for being so rash.”

The two were too confused to reply, so I took the Crusaders with me, Scootaloo still looking befuddled.


***


“As I suspected,” I said. “Ladies, our ‘thief’.”

There was the bit jar, sitting out in the open, on the table in Twilight’s library.

Only, it looked much different than before. For one thing, it was full to overflowing. For another, a sign had been put up beside it, reading ‘Donations! Help us reach 500!”

Twilight and Spike were standing by, beaming from ear to ear, as a stallion added his donation, a hoof-full of bits that slipped onto the table in a little heap.

“Whoops!” he said, in a light, cultured voice. “Looks like you’re full to bursting.”

“Even better,” said Twilight.

She cast an eye upon me and winked. The Crusaders looked dumbfounded. The stallion brushed past us.

“Scuse me,” he said. “Wish I could talk, but lots to do. Came by to borrow another comedy book. Cheers!”

We finally stepped inside, walking up to the library keepers.

“But he was browsing the history section,” Twilight said to Spike, sounding puzzled.

“You mean Spike stole our jar?” Scootaloo asked, bewildered.

“Stole?” Spike asked, nervously. “Was I not supposed to take it?”

“Hold up, everypony, let’s not get excited,” I said. “I can see where the error lies. Spike, yesterday I told you that there was something on the table to go the library, right?”

“Uh-huh.”

“What did you think that something was?”

“I figured it was a book, but what my eyes fell on first was the jar. I figured you had some reason for wanting me to take it, so I took it and the book to the library with me, just to be safe”

The fillies stared.

“And what happened after?” I asked.

“I found out the mistake pretty quickly,” said Twilight, “when I saw the labelling on the jar. We were going to return it, but Lyra walked in. She saw it and asked if we were starting a donation drive. Before we could answer, she dropped 5 bits into it. That gave us an idea. For the rest of yesterday and for most of today, we’ve been accepting donations for your derby fund!”

“And it looks like we went way above the requirement!” said Spike, indicating the overflow.

The fillies’ bewilderment was giving way to excitement.

“Twilight?” Apple Bloom asked. “How many bits did we make?”

“Well, let me see…”

Twilight’s horn glowed with her purple aura, and the jar did the same. She gave a small gasp as the glow vanished.

“Oh my goodness! 550 bits!”

The girls gasped, and so did I. 550 bits?! That was way above the minimum we needed!

We made it!

“You’re not still mad about me taking the jar without permission, are you?” Spike asked.

“Mad? Mad?” I asked, laughing and noogying his head. “Spike, you saved us! We’re ahead of schedule! You’re a hero!”

I held up a hand, and he, grinning widely, high-fived it. After that, I felt myself tackled into a sitting position on the floor by the four little fillies.

“We did it!” Sweetie Belle crowed.

“We can make the cart now!” said Apple Bloom.

“Hooray!!” cheered Dinky.

Scootaloo was the only that hadn’t shouted. She was looking rather meek.

“Dave? I’m sorry I blew up like that. I shouldn’t have just blindly accused Diamond Tiara without any facts.”

“Ah, Scoot, I’m not mad about that,” I said, ruffling her mane. “You were just acting in the heat of the situation. I might have lost my head too, given the circumstances. What matters is that no one’s guilty, and we can go on as planned.”

Scootaloo beamed like the sun.

“Yer the best, Dave!” said Apple Bloom.

“This is all thanks to you!” said Sweetie Belle.

“Yay for Dave and Spike!” chirped Dinky.

“Aw, c’mere, you four,” I said.

Sitting up, I enveloped them in a big group hug, as Twilight and Spike watched on with big smiles on their faces. I’d said it before, and I’ll say it again: God bless their innocent hearts…

Monday, November 19: 550 bits.
> The Rainbow Avenger
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Well, well, well! 500 bits, just like we agreed! Glad you returned so soon!”

We had stepped into Timber’s Lumber and proudly presented the store owner with the full jar, the girls beaming from ear to ear. However, I wanted to make sure this went off without a hitch, so the first thing we had done was fetch Sparkler to accompany us. She was thrilled that we had raised the money, and agreed to come with us to make sure Mr. Timber didn’t try to pull a fast one on our deal.

“Let me just get everything ready, and we’ll be good to go,” he said, though he couldn’t suppress a nervous twitch of the eye at seeing Sparkler. That must have been why he trotted off so briskly, making for the back of the store.

“You guys did an amazing job,” said Sparkler. “I knew you could do it, but I never imagined so quickly!”

“Me neither, to be honest. It was that little mix-up with Spike that gave us the final kick we needed.”

“And then some,” said Sparkler. “550, you said it was?”

“Yep!”

“What do you plan to do with the extra 50?”

“You know, I haven’t actually thought of that yet,” I said. “Maybe we’ll keep it on hand, or on hoof, in case something goes wrong. What do you think, girls?”

“Sounds good to me,” said Scootaloo.

“Ah’m good with that,” said Apple Bloom.

“Me too,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Uh-huh,” said Dinky.

A few minutes later, Mr. Timber returned, hauling a low wagon full of lumber, gears, wheel pieces, and everything else we’d need for the framework of the cart. He handed the handle of it off to me.

“Thanks for your help, sir,” I said.

“And thank you for your patronage,” he said. “I hope this race turns out well for you and your friends.”

“We’re hoping for it too.”

With that, the six of us exited the store, with me dragging the wagon behind me.

“So, where should we put all this?” I asked.

“Let’s keep it in the barn,” said Apple Bloom. “It’ll be the perfect place to start buildin’.”

“Good idea. We’ll get started tomorrow after school. Phase 1 of Operation Cart is complete: getting the materials. Phase 2 is building the cart itself.”

“And you know what this means, right?” asked Scootaloo.

“Er, no. What does it mean?”

“We get to be…”

(Uh oh, here we go.)

“Cutie Mark Crusaders Pit Crew! Yay!” they chorused together.

One of these days, I was gonna get the timing down on these Crusader cheers.


***


The Apples were more than willing to let us use the barn as a base of operations for the cart, so we dropped off the supplies in the middle of it. Apple Bloom told her sister what had happened.

“Ah’m proud of ya, little sis,” she said. “Ah hope y’all have learned just how rewardin’ an honest day’s work is.”

“Technically, it was about 2 weeks honest work,” I said.

“Same difference,” said Applejack, shrugging.

“Ah sure have, Applejack,” said Apple Bloom. “‘Course, it would have been nice if any of the jobs we did had landed any of us a cutie mark.”

The four fillies almost instinctively looked at their bare flanks.

“Ah know, Apple Bloom,” said Applejack, sympathetically, “but look at this way: you made a lot of folks in town happy with your busy-bee spirit and worker’s attitude, and that’s somethin’ to be proud of.”

Apple Bloom smiled and nuzzled against her sister’s side. The older mare then looked up at me.

“Thanks for helpin’ out the youngsters,” she said. “Means a lot to me to see you lookin’ out for them.”

“It was no big deal,” I said, “but we’re only half done. Now we’ve got to build the cart.”

“You don’t have to worry about that. Big Mac and Ah can lend you a hoof, if ya want.”

“I’d appreciate that very much. We’re gonna make this a cart to be proud of!”

“You know it!” said Scootaloo. “Rainbow Avenger, all the way! We’ll show Diamond Tiara and her ‘professional’ mechanics.”

Applejack looked at me in puzzlement.

“Diamond Tiara hired ponies to make a cart for her.”

“That so? Ah should have guessed. Granny Smith is on good terms with her daddy, Filthy Rich, but even she knows they don’t do themselves what they can already pay for.”

Filthy Rich? Was that really her father’s name? I guess Diamond Tiara was just born to be wealthy.

“Well, even before I knew about how she was having things done,” I said, “I just felt it would be more genuine to do it by hand and hoof.”

Applejack smiled.

“That’s what Ah like to hear,” she said. “Anythin’ worth doin’ is worth doin’ right. Speaking of,” she added, turning to her sister, “Y’all better get a start on yer homework.”

“Aww, all right,” grumbled Apple Bloom. “Ah’ll see y’all tomorrow, when we can get started,” she added, to us.

We took our leave of Sweet Apple Acres, and while Sparkler took Scootaloo and Dinky home, I walked Sweetie Belle back to her house. I was just approaching home from doing so when I heard a voice call out to me.

“There you are, Dave! I’ve been looking all over for you.”

It was Rarity, and she looked like she had a bone to pick with me.

“Hey, Rarity. Is something wrong?” I asked.

“Yesterday, Sweetie Belle told me all about how you babysat for her on Saturday.”

“Well, yeah. Did you not approve?”

“It’s not that. She told me you did a wonderful job looking after her, and I’m very grateful.”

“Then why do you look like something’s annoyed you?”

“She also gave me a slice of that pie you let her make.”

“Oh! Tasty, isn’t it?”

“Tasty? I would prefer to call it suffocatingly sweet,” Rarity said, a rather fixed smile on her face. “But that’s not the point, my dear. She told me you let her fix it by herself, as in, without supervision.”

I felt a cold shiver run down my spine. Rarity wasn’t yelling at me, but the sickly-sweet tone of her voice, as if she were trying to keep herself from punching me in the face, was unsettling.

“We had a deal,” I said, weakly. “If she listened for your parents’ delivery while I made lunch, I’d let her cook dinner.”

“Oh, a fine deal to make,” Rarity went on. “A grown man like you, allowing a little filly to make something so complex as a whole pie, all by herself, when she could very well have set the house on fire. How very, very wise of you.”

I gulped.

“But at least she didn’t burn the place down,” I said. “Right?”

Rarity stared hard at me for a moment or two, then sighed and seemed to come to herself again.

“Yes, that is fortunate. I will admit I was surprised she kept such an...unusual confection in an edible form. She has been improving lately, and I will say it was sweet of you to give her such a responsibility, but honestly, darling, do try to be more sensible about supervision. The girls mean well, but when they’re up to their usual tricks, you can’t just turn a blind eye.”

“I know, I know, it was stupid of me,” I said. “I was on tenterhooks the whole time she was working. I wanted to go in and make sure she didn’t mess anything up, but I promised her I’d let her do it herself. I couldn’t just betray her trust like that. It would have hurt her feelings.”

Rarity regarded me closely for a bit, then finally broke into a tender smile.

“You have a good heart, Dave, and I truly do appreciate you thinking of her feelings. While you may have had a judgement lapse, I can see why Mother and Father chose you to watch her.”

“Ah, well…” I muttered, modestly. “How did your trip go, by the way?”

“Very well, thank you. I went up to meet Fancy Pants and show him some of my latest projects.”

“Fancy Pants? I met him when I went to Canterlot!”

“So I’d heard,” said Rarity. “He told me you met outside a cafe and struck up a conversation.”

“Yeah. He seemed like a really nice guy, and he didn’t seem very quick to snub me.”

“I know the feeling, dear,” said Rarity, sympathetically. “But yes, Fancy Pants is one of Canterlot’s most important ponies: his word is law among the elite. I would have lost my respect among them if not for him.”

“Rarity, how could anyone in their right mind not respect you?” I asked, seriously.

Rarity smiled appreciatively.

“At any rate, he was very intrigued by the hat I’d made for you, with the phoenix feather, and so I showed him the drawing I had made for the full ensemble. He was quite impressed.”

“So, what does that mean? Phoenix-feather hats are gonna become chic in Canterlot?”

“Oh, I’m not too sure, honestly. We can’t just go plucking the feathers of Princess Celestia’s pet for every top hat in Canterlot. Still, he admired the ingenuity, as he called it.” Her cheeks briefly turned a shade of pink. “He’s a wonderful stallion, an example of how the wealthy should behave.”

“I quite agree.”

“Ah, but listen to me prattling on. Dave, we simply must get together again sometime. It feels like ages since our little spa day.”

“Funny, I was telling the same thing to Fluttershy earlier. Once this whole derby craze is over, we’ll find something to do.”

“Wonderful, darling! Just mind, the winter snows will be coming in the first week of the month. I’ll have a winter ensemble ready for you when that time comes.”

“I like the sound of that.”

“And by the way, sweetie,” Rarity added, “if I ever catch wind of anything like this pie escapade again, I will find ways to make you regret such a careless decision.”

I felt my heart slam against my ribs. That came right out of nowhere.

“Ta-ta!” she said, cheerily, and went on her way, as if nothing had happened.

“Lesson learned,” I muttered, as I went inside, “never make a pretty woman angry.”


***


Over the course of the next week, the five of us worked feverishly to get the Rainbow Avenger up and running in time for the race. When the girls were at school, I pored over the pages of Engineering for Beginners in the hopes of getting a head-start in building knowhow that could spare the kids some time. Probably the hardest part was going to be the engine: we had the parts needed for it, but the issue was going to be assembly. One piece out of place could mean the whole thing would go up in smoke.

I would be waiting in the barn by the time the girls arrived. Unfortunately, they couldn’t offer too much time on weekdays, since they had to be home in time for dinner and to do their homework. Sweetie Belle lived the furthest away from Sweet Apple Acres, so her time was the most limited, but it was quite a sight to see both her and Dinky pushing lumber into place, handing us extra nails, saws, hammers. For such a demure filly, she was quite industrious, though Apple Bloom didn’t seem to trust her with power tools. Still, she only had so much time to offer before she had to scamper home, but we were content. The true power of construction lay with Apple Bloom and Scootaloo.

The little farm filly was more precise than I’d ever even imagined. Whatever measurements she made in cutting the wood, her sawing was right on the mark, not an inch off. Even with more angled cuts to give the proper aerodynamic shape, she was spot on. Now I could see just how she had managed to refurbish an entire tree house by herself. 

Scootaloo, for her part, tinkered with the wheels, making sure they were fitted just right and that the tires were the proper size. She herself said that improper wheel size or placement could lead to an imbalance. She also took great pains to make sure the steering wheel was put in properly, so that the wheels would turn with it.

I had to admit, even I wasn’t doing too shabbily. I had never handled anything like this before, yet it was going rather smoothly with the fillies’ aid. Maybe that potion Zecora made still had some lingering effects.

Within just a few days, the basic frame of the Rainbow Avenger was born: a sleek, streamlined bullet of a car, kind of like an arrowhead, with a smooth fin on the back. By Scootaloo and Dinky’s drawings, It was going to be painted blue with rainbow colored streaks on the sides and tail fin, with the CMC emblem right in the middle. I wondered how Rainbow Dash would take seeing her colors displayed on a foal’s racing cart: would she be embarrassed or pleased?

The weekend rolled around, and I was ready for us to put our all into this. We just needed to complete the outer wood covering, install the engine, and then paint, and the Rainbow Avenger would be ready. However, Apple Bloom came to us with bad news.

“Ah can’t stay long to help with the buildin’,” she said. “Applejack wants me to help with the final harvestin’. This is the last weekend we have before the winter snows come in, and we need to get in all the crops we can before the cold wipes ‘em out.”

Her friends were disappointed to hear this, and I wasn’t feeling too good about it either, but there was no other way around it.

“We understand, Apple Bloom. We’ll pick up where you left off.”

Just as I hoped, she finally smiled again.

“Thanks, y’all. Ah hoped you’d understand. Just take yer time with the cuttin’. Don’t rush it, and you’ll get the right size and shape you need. Follow the frame.”

She trotted off to join her siblings after giving us these words of wisdom, and we set back to work. 

She’d made cutting the pieces look easy, but it wasn’t. Each bit of wood for the outer paneling needed to be properly sized before it could be fitted in, and, try as I might, I could never seem to get it right the first time. It would either be too large and needed to be trimmed down, or too small and had to be redone. Applejack and Big Mac were busy tending the fields, too, so I couldn’t call upon their help. I won’t lie, it was frustrating, as I ended up hammering my thumb more than once, and it took an effort to hold back shouting in front of the girls. They were patient with me, however, and helped me through my stressed moments. All I could do was keep one thing on my mind: get the cart done for the derby.

It probably took longer than it should have, if Apple Bloom had been with us, but by Sunday afternoon, the outer wood covering for the Rainbow Avenger was finally completed. All that remained was the engine and the paint, and that was where the next issue sprang up.

Scootaloo had some tinkering prowess, but she had never constructed a whole engine before. Even looking at the guide book, we could see that the steps and processes were a complicated mishmash. She admitted that she could not make heads or tails of it, and apologized for it, but I wasn’t mad at her for it. If this was something made for beginners to understand, why shouldn’t we be able to do it ourselves? All we needed to do was follow the instructions to the note.

Even that, though, was a pain in the hindquarters. Bending over the book and over the engine-in-the-making made my back ache, and my hands were becoming sweaty from trying hard to concentrate on getting every piece in place. Scootaloo offered whatever help she could, but even then, by the time the next school week started, the engine was still little more than halfway done. There were so many thingamajigs, whatchamacallits, and doohickeys to work with that it was hard to tell which went where. I was beginning to feel at the end of my rope, but I couldn’t stop. Everything had to be ready before the big day. It was looming ever closer, and the realization of that was like a lump in my stomach. Anyone who had ever had a deadline for a school project, like an essay, approaching would know what I meant…

The girls were feeling too tired to continue on Sunday night, so I was left tinkering with the engine by myself. My fingers and back were aching, and my eyes were tired. My glasses were fogged with sweat, and every five minutes, I’d have to take them off and wipe them clear with my shirt. At last, however, I just couldn’t handle it anymore. I let out a huge yawn.

“I’ll get up early and get a head start on it, then,” I muttered to myself.

So saying, I got up, my body full of aches, and walked slowly home.


***


When I arrived in the wee hours of the morn, however, it was to find Scootaloo and Dinky, awake but smiling, standing by the Rainbow Avenger’s frame. The engine, and the remaining parts, were no longer sitting out!

“What happened?” I asked. “Where’s the engine?”

“Already in!” said Dinky, proudly.

“Huh?”

“Yeah! Check it out!” said Scootaloo.

She clambered into the driver’s seat and pressed down on the gas pedal. The engine roared to life. Well, probably not roar, since it was such a small car, but growled impressively. I felt my jaw drop.

“How the...when did…” I spluttered. “Girls, did you do this?”

“We wanted to,” said Dinky, “but somepony beat us to it. I guess they had the right screwdriver.”

“Wow…” I breathed. “Then that means-”

“The Rainbow Avenger just needs its avenging rainbow!” said Scoot, punching the air.

“Unbelievable,” I muttered. “How many times are we gonna be saved by lucky breaks?”

“I dunno,” said Scootaloo, “but we’d better get going. If Mom finds us up this early, she’ll have a cow.”

“But doesn’t your paper route start early?”

“Not this early,” said Scootaloo, grimly. “See ya after school, Dave. Get some rest. We’ll work on the paint job together.”

“Bye, Dave!”

The fillies trotted off, while I just stared at the Rainbow Avenger in bemusement. I wondered who this pony was that finished the engine for us. How would they have known we were building in this barn? Well, whatever the case, it meant more sleep for me, and I was not about to say no to that.


***


This time, Ironmane did come in person to deliver my fee, looking none the worse for wear, though still rather tired. I'd actually forgotten that he hadn't come around or sent my dues yesterday. I'd been too focused on getting the Rainbow Avenger ready to notice.

“I hope everything was all right last week, Minister,” I said.

“Just some tedious paperwork,” he said. “Always the most tiresome part of any profession, but it was routine business. Speaking of which, I shall be sending you a new written assignment in the near future, so be on the lookout.”

“Yes, Minister.”

“By the by, how is your project with the fillies faring?”

“Really well. We raised all the funds we needed, and the cart’s almost done. All it needs is a paint job and a test drive, and we’re good to go!”

“Impressive,” Ironmane said, stiffly. “I hope to see equal dedication to duty in future assignments.”

“I’ll try, sir,” I said, though I hoped I hadn’t just given him the idea to give me harder work.

“Well, with that, I should be on my way. Farewell, David, and good luck with your race.”

“Thanks, Minister.”

Ironmane walked off, while I put away my weekly payment. As soon as school was out for the day, we could move onto the final phase of completing the Rainbow Avenger. Kind of funny, actually: I didn’t have to go to school, and even I was anxious for it to end.


***


Just as Scootaloo said, the four Crusaders assembled back in the barn, and we set to work painting right away. This was much easier than the rest of the operation, especially with Apple Bloom helping once again. We first coated the entire cart in a sky blue, like Rainbow Dash’s fur, then, carefully, took turns applying streaks of paint along the sides and fin to make rainbow stripes. At last, Apple Bloom added the finishing touch: a Cutie Mark Crusaders emblem on both sides.

With that done, we stepped back to admire our handiwork. 

It was finally done.

After a month of toil, the Rainbow Avenger was complete.

We were ready for the derby!

Somepony sniffled. I looked down and saw that Scootaloo had tears in her eyes.

“What’s the matter, kiddo?” I asked.

“It’s...it’s beautiful,” she said. “It looks even better than I hoped.”

Dinky put her hooves around her sister, hugging her.

“Thanks, all of you,” Scoot murmured. “You guys made it look great!”

“Tweren’t nothin’, Scoot,” said Apple Bloom.

“It was a team effort!” said Sweetie Belle.

“It is quite a sight, isn’t it?” I asked. “We’ll let the paint dry, and give it a test drive tomorrow. You up for that, Scoot?”

Scootaloo brightened back up once again.

“Heck yeah!”

“Good, cuz I can think of no other pony more qualified to be our representative driver. Right, gals?”

“Right!” said Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle.

“Scootaloo all the way!” squeaked Dinky.

Scootaloo’s little face split into a wide grin, and her wings buzzed excitedly.


***


By the next day, the eve of the big race, we carefully wheeled the dried Rainbow Avenger out of the barn. Scootaloo had already chosen the perfect spot to test drive it, so we followed her directions. She led us out to a clear field, devoid of trees, relatively smooth and uniform, with a long dirt track running through it. It looked almost like the racetrack of a school gymnasium, except with several twists and turns. 

Scootaloo climbed into the front seat and put on her scooter helmet.

“You sure you can handle this, Scoot?” I asked. “This path makes a lot of twists.”

“No problem,” she replied. “We gotta make sure it can handle them. Just give me plenty of space.”

“Gotcha. Girls, step back, and let’s let Scoot work her magic.”

The four of us stepped away, and Scootaloo shifted the cart into its driving gear. With a growl from the engine, it shot forward, swift like as an arrow, wheels rolling smoothly along the dirt.

“Holy cow!” I shouted. “It’s working! It’s really working!”

“Go, Scoot!” cheered Dinky.

Scootaloo and the Avenger soared down the path, pulling off flawless turns and skids, while the little filly sat hunched in concentration over the steering wheel. It was too amazing to believe! The Avenger was holding together perfectly! It was obeying Scoots’ every command! It was well and truly complete!

The girls were going wild with excitement. Apple Bloom bounced up and down on all fours, much like Pinkie, while Sweetie Belle and Dinky danced about, clasping each other’s hooves. I, for my part, whooped and clapped, especially as Scootaloo pulled in beside us. She had barely taken off her helmet before I scooped her up into the air.

“Scoot, that was amazing! You’ve got the Avenger tamed on the first go! We’re gonna make heads turn tomorrow for sure!”

Scootaloo beamed and gave me a high-five, or high-one. What did ponies call them?

“We’re gonna win, Dave!” she said. “We’re gonna win!”

“No doubt about it, my little pony,” I said. “We’re gonna win!”
> The Junior Derby
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The air was supercharged with excitement. Equestria really knew how to turn everything into a huge event, even something like a racing derby for foals. Still, I could feel the energy pumping inside me as well, my heart swelling like a balloon. It had taken a whole month of sweat, blood, and tears (mostly sweat), but I’d helped the Crusaders make it this far. This was going to be a great race!

The girls and I carefully rolled the Rainbow Avenger, covered in a protective tarp, to Ponyville Park, where an enormous race track had been set up. Bleachers and lawn chairs had been set up, packed to the gills with ponies waiting to see the race. Derpy and Sparkler walked beside us to make sure the trip went safely. Cheerilee was standing by, wearing a referee’s jacket, as we approached.

“Hello, everyone!” she said, brightly.

“Hi, Miss Cheerilee!” said the fillies.

“Perfect conditions for a derby, wouldn’t you say?” I asked.

“I couldn’t agree more. The weather team did a spectacular job!”

Here, she pulled out a clipboard and looked it over.

“Now, you’re set for slot #2 on the track. All I need is the name of your cart, and who will be driving.”

“The Rainbow Avenger,” I said. “Pilot: Scootaloo.”

The little pegasus grinned, and Cheerilee, with a smile, wrote down the information.

“All right, then! Just wheel it up to the starting line. The race will begin in a half hour!”

“Be careful, muffin,” said Derpy, leaning down to Scootaloo’s level. “Do the best you can, but don’t be reckless.”

“Got it, Mom,” said Scootaloo.

“I know how good you are at this sort of thing. You’re going to do great!”

Scootaloo beamed up at her mother.

“We’re going to go find some seats,” said Sparkler. “Do your best, Scoot.”

“Always,” said Scootaloo, proudly.

Derpy gave her adoptive daughter a hug and a kiss on the forehead, which made her squirm.

“Mom! Not in public,” she groaned.

“Oh, hush,” said Derpy, giggling. “There’s nothing wrong with a mother showing her child love.”

“Just take it like a champ, Scoot,” I said. “I had to go through it myself.”

“Derpy!” called a voice through the tumult, and we saw a hoof waving over the sea of heads. “Over here! I saved you and Sparkler some seats!”

“Ah, wonderful!” said Derpy, releasing Scootaloo. “Take care of her during the pit stops,” she added to the rest of us. “We don’t need her running on empty.”

“You can count on us, Derpy,” I said, saluting, followed by Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Dinky.

Derpy and Sparkler smiled, then departed. We rolled the Avenger through a gap partitioned off in the crowd and up to the starting line. The other racers had already arrived, and had filled up slots 1 and 3-6. I hadn’t even imagined what the rest of the competition would look like, and now I had a good look at it.

There was Diamond Tiara in her jumpsuit and helmet, standing by a cart that looked similar to ours, but had a more angular, jet-like look to it. It was colored white with purple and pink accentuations, and curved wheel guards above the tires. With its general shape, it reminded me of a jungle cat ready to pounce. Silver Spoon was standing by, wearing a baseball cap that matched her pearl necklace and a pair of saddlebags full of tools.

In the spot adjacent to ours was a rather scrawny-looking pegasus colt, hovering beside a more compact-looking cart, jet-black and silver with large headlights. Its boxy shape brought to mind a news camera. Beside this cart stood three other colts, one light-blue with a darker-blue mane, one brown with a cream-colored mane and a bowl of ice cream for a cutie mark, and one greenish-blue coat with a darker-blue mane..

Beside them was Snips, standing proudly at the side of a cart shaped like half of a globe, kinda like a computer mouse, or maybe a shaving razor, colored sea-green and yellow. Alongside him was Snails, wearing a cap like Silver Spoon’s, though his was red, as well as having a small toolbox sitting beside him. He was joined by a brown colt with an orange-brown mane and a propellor beanie on his head.

In slot 5 was Twist, the curly-haired, bespectacled filly I saw in class, in a cart that was shaped kind of like a carrot, striped red and white all over, like a candy cane. Standing at attention beside her was Truffle Shuffle, the gray colt I’d also seen, wearing saddlebags stuffed with tools, along with a white colt with a brown mane and brown patches in his coat.

Lastly was one similar in make to ours, but colored storm-gray and with wing-like fins for a tail. The pilot for this one was a little gray pegasus colt with a slick black mane. The fillies Noi and Berry Pinch were standing by with him.

“Quite the turnout, I’ve gotta say,” I muttered.

“You like it, Mr. Dave?” Snips asked, probably thinking I was looking at his cart in particular. “Snails, Button Mash, and I worked on it ourselves. We call it the Close Shave!”

“Cuz it always misses a crash by just a hair!” said Snails.

“Er, have you had many near-crashes, boys?” I asked.

‘A-heh-heh,” chuckled Snips, nervously. “You could say that. But now this baby’s ready for the big time!”

“And we’re its pit crew!” said Snails.

“Fastest screwdrivers in Ponyville!” said the beanie-wearing colt, who must have been Button Mash.

Snails demonstrated by taking out a screwdriver and spinning it about in his hoof, whereupon it flew straight up and clonked him, handle-first, behind his horn. Button Mash cringed, and Snips shook his head in disgust. They had spirit, that was for sure...

“Well, good luck, you guys,” I said.

“Thanks!” they said, together.

I turned back to Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon. They were looking at the unveiled Rainbow Avenger with interest.

“Not bad,” Diamond Tiara conceded. “You five actually managed to put together a decent cart. Still, it doesn’t match up to my Platinum Panther.”

“Platinum Panther?” asked Apple Bloom, sounding a little disgusted.

“Think it’s funny, do you?” retorted Diamond Tiara. “Well, what’s your little wagon called?”

“The Rainbow Avenger!” said Scootaloo, zealously.

Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon looked at each other and just rolled their eyes. Scootaloo glared at them, but I stepped between them. There was no need for there to be a part 2 of the argument in the square. They still peeked around my legs to glare at each other, however.

“Save it for the track, kids,” I said, warningly.

“I fully intend to,” said Diamond Tiara.

“So do I,” said Scootaloo.

“I’m gonna take a walk around. You kids behave yourselves while I’m gone, all right?”

They didn’t answer; the Crusaders and their bullies were still intent on staring each other down. Well, what harm could they do with so many ponies watching? I stepped away from the track and started walking along the sidelines.

The stands were still filling up, but there were hundreds of ponies in attendance. I hadn’t been kidding when I thought about how seriously they took events like this. The bleachers were a confused mixture of pastel-colored ponies, many of whom were wearing scarves or jackets, but I could still barely make out a familiar face in the crowd. There were Lyra and Bon Bon, the former wearing a big foam finger that said ‘#1’ on it, while the latter looked embarrassed. There was Berry Punch, who was already wildly cheering. There were Magnum, Pearl, and Rarity seated together, the latter sporting a pair of opera glasses. Past them were the Apples, who actually spotted me and waved energetically, a gesture I reciprocated. Then there were Twilight and Spike, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Pinkie. I directed my steps toward her.

“Hi, Davie!” she said. “Aren’t you on pit crew duty?”

“Don’t worry, Pinkie, I’ll be there when it’s time. I actually have something I need you to do.”

“Oh? What is it?”

Reaching into my pocket, I took out the bag of 50 bits we had set aside and handed it to her.

“I want you to use this towards a celebratory pizza party for all the racers. The girls and I talked about it beforehand and thought it was the best idea for the extra bits we made. Can you do that?”

Pinkie’s eyes lit up with that party-happy energy of hers.

“You can count on me, Davie!”

“That’s my girl,” I said. “I’ll see you later.”

“Good luck!”

I’d practically reached the end of the stands, so I decided to make my way back. As I did so, there came a flutter of wings and the soft thud of hooves on dirt, and Rainbow Dash pulled up beside me.

“Hey, Rainbow. How are you?”

“Can’t complain. Is that cart what I think it is?”

She was looking right at the Rainbow Avenger.

“Heh, yep,” I said, grinning. “That was Scootaloo and Dinky’s idea, to incorporate your colors into it.”

“That so? Well, I’m gonna see about this.”

I didn’t like the way she said that. It wasn’t pleased or embarrassed or anything. It was rather serious, as if she didn’t approve at all. This could not bode well.

We came up to Scootaloo, who was standing by the Avenger, waiting for the race to start. When she saw I had brought Rainbow Dash with me, she beamed at first, but then her face fell at the frown she was sporting.

“Dave tells me this cart was made with my colors in mind. That right?”

“Uh-huh.”

“Didn’t think to ask me before using anything associated with me, did you?”

“W-Well…”

“You wanna know what I think of this?”

Scootaloo braced herself for a tirade.

“This...is...awesome!”

Both Scootaloo and I jumped and looked at her. Her face had split into a wide grin.

“You mean it?” Scoot asked, sounding relieved.

“‘Course I do, squirt! I always knew my true-blue coat and rainbow-tastic mane looked good on me, but seeing it in car form is pretty neat too! Gotta give ya props on the design, too. Nice and aerodynamic.”

Scootaloo was smiling so wide it looked like her mouth would burst out past her cheeks. Rainbow raised a hoof, and Scootaloo high-fived it.

“Do me proud, kiddo,” she said, giving the filly’s mane a tousle. “Aim for first, but if you can’t make first, then aim for the top 3. I doubt you’ll need that kind of advice, though. You’re gonna do great in this thing!”

“Thanks, Rainbow Dash!” said Scootaloo, gratefully.

“And you,” Rainbow added, turning to me. “You’re on her pit crew?”

“Yep. Me and the rest of the Crusaders.”

“Well, keep that cart in top shape. Something based off of me has to win, ‘cuz of my inherent awesomeness. Got it?”

“Got it,” I said, barely able to suppress a smirk.

“Awesome. Good luck, Scoot!”

With a flap of her wings, Rainbow Dash headed back to her seat.

“She likes it! I knew she would!” Scootaloo squealed, trotting in place excitedly.

“Focus, Scoot,” I said, patiently. “It’s almost time, and we need you to concentrate. Just do what you did yesterday in the test drive, and we should be good as gold. Cool?”

I held out my hand, and she slapped her hoof down on it in a low-five.

“Cool,” she echoed, picking up her helmet.

Sure enough, the air was rent with the brisk notes of a starting trumpet, and as Scootaloo climbed into the Avenger, I hurried over to the designated pit stop area, where the pit crews were waiting. Every foal had their tools, spare tires, and fuel cans laid out at the ready.

“We ready to do this, kids?” I asked Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Dinky.

“Yes, sir!” they said in unison.

“Mares and gentlecolts,” came Mayor Mare’s voice over a loudspeaker, ceasing the talk from the crowd. “Welcome to this year’s Ponyville Junior Derby! It gives me such pride to see our up-and-coming generation taking part in such proactive events! We’ve got 6 contestants this year, primed and ready to start their engines! Allow me to introduce this year’s entrants!

“In slot #1, the Platinum Panther, driven by Diamond Tiara!”

Diamond Tiara waved to the cheering crowd, a self-satisfied smile on her face.

“In slot #2, the Rainbow Avenger, driven by Scootaloo Hooves!”

The sections occupied by our friends especially went wild, as Scootaloo waved in their direction.

“In slot #3, the News Breaker, driven by Featherweight!”

Featherweight? Well, I supposed that name was pretty apt, given how lanky the colt was.

“In slot #4, the Close Shave, driven by Snips!”

The cheers were mixed with titters of laughter over the pun, but Snips seemed to take them in stride, a big buck-toothed smile on his face.

“In slot #5, the Peppermint Twister, driven by Twist!”

Apple Bloom and her pals added to the harder cheers as Twist smiled good-naturedly in her striped vehicle.

“And in slot #6, the Whirlwind, driven by Rumble!”

Most of the cheers for the pegasus colt came from, well, naturally, pegasi. A black stallion with a blue mohawk actually raised himself into the air to shout ‘That’s my little bro!’, and Rumble meekly waved back.

“Racers, get on your marks, for we’re about to get underway!”

Cheerilee stepped to the edge of the track, a checkered flag held in her teeth. The foals lowered their goggles over their eyes and started up their engines. The six mini-cars roared to life, their exhausts chugging smoothly. This was it. It was finally time.

“Get ready…”

The racers leaned forward over their steering wheels.

“Get set…”

I saw Scootaloo lick her lips in concentration, her eyes narrowed. She was ready.

“GO!”

Cheerilee waved the flag, and with a combination of growling engines and screams from the crowd, the six race cars were off!

“GO, SCOOT!” I shouted, hands cupped around my mouth.

“YOU CAN DO IT, SIS!” shrieked Dinky.

“And we are off!” continued Mayor Mare. “It’s the Platinum Panther right out the gate, with the Rainbow Avenger right on its tail! The Close Shave and the Whirlwind are jockeying for position, while the Peppermint Twister is trying to find an opening! It looks like the News Breaker is keeping it steady until it can find a spot to blitz through! There they go. round the first bend!”


***


Scootaloo was used to going fast on her scooter, but this was amazing! Being able to speed along without having to use her wings was something new to her, and she liked it, a lot! Best of all, she was closing in on Diamond Tiara and her Platinum Panther! If she could just get in closer…

*Bump!*

Scootaloo felt herself jolt from a collision from behind. Snips and Rumble, both neck and neck with each other, had veered so that the Whirlwind nudged the back of the Avenger. The filly grimly thought how dangerous it must be to even allow Snips, one of the clumsiest colts in her class, behind the wheel of a cart, but she couldn’t let him distract her. Barely having time to register the apology from Rumble, she pushed hard on the gas pedal and zoomed forward. She was straining all of her energies to get to Diamond Tiara, to wipe that smug smile off her face…

She kept a steady bead on her as they roared around the track, completing the first lap. Slowly, inch by inch, she advanced until she was finally level with the Platinum Panther. Diamond Tiara sneered as she saw Scootaloo’s face beside hers.

“Think you’re hot stuff, blank flank?” she taunted.

Scoot was itching to taunt right back at her, but she had to keep her eyes on the road. This was too important to muck up now. She therefore said nothing.

*WHAM!*

For the second time, Scootaloo felt herself tossed about in her seat. Diamond Tiara had bumped into her from the side.

“Hey, watch out!” Scootaloo yelled.

“You watch out!” Diamond Tiara snapped.

Scootaloo didn’t like where this was going. The rich filly obviously had never driven a cart before, and was no dainty about handling the steering wheel. She was swerving dangerously as she traveled along the track, coming close to ramming into the Avenger again. If Scootaloo could just get past her-

*BUMP!*

The Panther swerved again, knocking into the side of the Avenger. This time, Scootaloo felt something wobble as the Panther backed off. She might need to make a pit stop early, all because Diamond Tiara hadn’t bothered to practice.

“Learn to drive, you snob!” Scootaloo yelled.

“How dare you!” Diamond Tiara growled. “I’m a perfect driver!”

The wobbling got worse and worse as they completed lap 2 and moved into 3. Diamond Tiara was steadily pulling ahead, still cutting a very unsafe path. Scootaloo hated to admit it, but she had to pull in for a pit stop.


***


Scootaloo had taken a couple of nasty knocks on only the second lap, but she wisely pulled in for a pit stop after the third. The four of us sprang into action. While I made sure the fuel in the tank was topped off, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle went from top to bottom, changing out the tires and looking for whatever it was Scoot told us felt loose. Dinky handed her a bottle of water, which she took a generous swig from. Behind us, the Whirlwind and the Peppermint Twister were also refueling.

“You’re doing good, sport,” I said. “Just be careful, all right? We don’t want you busted up along with the Avenger.”

“It’s Diamond Tiara,” Scootaloo rebutted. “She’s a road hazard! She doesn’t know how to drive!”

“Then show her what a real driver is supposed to do. Just try not to let her knock you about again, ok?”

“Roger! We good, girls?”

“All set!” said Apple Bloom, who had just put on the last tire.

“Sweet! I’m off!”

And Scootaloo roared back onto the track.

“Dave?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“Yeah, Sweetie?”

“Why did the engine have ‘Bad Wolf’ written on it when I checked it?”

“Why are you asking me? I didn’t do that.”


***


Scoot’s blood was pounding. She was going to show Diamond Tiara why she couldn’t just hog the track and bump other racers like that, but she had some catching up to do. The little snob’s dangerous driving had set her back a bit, and she needed to put the pedal to the metal. Snips and Featherweight were fighting for second, and their vehicles, so close together, didn’t leave much space to pass through.

(Come on, come on...I just need a- There!)

The two carts finally moved apart from each other, and with a surge, Scootaloo shot between them like an arrow. Snips and Featherweight’s eyes popped in surprise to see her go blazing past.

(And now for Tiara…)

4th, 5th, 6th lap. There was no denying it, that Platinum Panther had plenty to boast about, keeping such a lead, but Scootaloo was determined to deflate that sun-sized balloon called Diamond Tiara’s ego, so she pounded on, finally coming level with her again.

“Aww, what’s this, come back for more?” Diamond Tiara sneered.

The Panther cut a sharp sweep again as they rounded the bend, but the pegasus was ready this time. She curved sharply, jostling the Earth pony back and catching her by surprise.

“Hey!” she shouted.

“Not so fun when it happens to you, is it?” said Scootaloo.

“How dare you bump my precious Panther, you little loser!”

This time she deliberately tried to hit the Avenger, but Scootaloo struck back just as sharply. With a clunk and a scraping noise, the Platinum Panther went slightly off-kilter and began to drop back, hobbling. Laughing in triumph to herself, Scootaloo soared ahead as Diamond Tiara squealed with rage.

“Score one for the Scoot!” the little pegasus said to herself.


***


While we anxiously waited for Scootaloo to catch up to Diamond Tiara, I could hear a familiar voice nearby, muttering to herself.

“‘What Mayor Mare must have been thinking to sanction such a sport is beyond this reporter. Little foals barreling down a racetrack at breakneck speeds in hoof-made carts doesn’t seem-’ Gah! No, no, no! That’s not right at all. You’ve got to get your head into the game, Dolly…”

Sure enough, it was Dolly Tribune herself, wearing a thick tartan scarf around her neck, a brown jacket and matching pants. She had her notepad out and was scratching out what she had already written, looking like she’d been hit in the face with a baseball. Her camera-stallion, Papa Razzo, was standing beside her, camera hanging around his neck.

Truth be told, I had been following Dolly’s articles more closely after the whole scandal affair. I was pleased to see that, even when not corrupting the written word with her need for juicy journalism, she still had a clever wit and eloquent vocabulary. Some of her quips got a chuckle out of me, even if they were directed at some ponies I knew in town. The difference there was that these weren’t scandalous articles, but actual news stories. She really was making the effort to change her ways.

When Razzo caught sight of me, he prodded Dolly in the shoulder to get her attention and pointed me out.

“Ah!” exclaimed Dolly, in a mixture of surprise and pleasure. “Mr. Dave! Long time no see!”

Razzo doffed his cap.

“Hello, Dolly, Razzo. How is everything?”

“Oh, not bad. It’s a tough climb, but I’m doing my best to keep to the straight and narrow.”

“From what I’ve seen, you’ve been doing well at that so far.”

“Well, thank you, hun,” said Dolly. “I’m just trying to be a little tamer with this one, since it’s little foals and everything. Headliner’s a family stallion, so he’s a stickler for age-appropriate wording. Are you part of the pit crew?”

“I am, actually.” 

“Ah, how interesting! I’ll have to get a closer look at the carts after the race. The craftsponyship looks splendid!”

*WHAM!*

We whipped about to see what the noise was. Scootaloo had just rammed into Diamond Tiara, sending her cart lopsided.

“Though I can’t say as much for some of the pilots,” Dolly said, grimly.

“Er, we’ll sort that out. It looks like she’s pulling in for a pit stop, so we’ll have to discuss this later, Dolly.”

“Gotcha. Don’t be a stranger, hun.”

Scootaloo pulled in, looking proud of herself, but while we set to work, I had to admonish her.

“I told you to be careful! You’re being reckless!”

“Just showing her why she shouldn’t go around doing that,” said Scootaloo. “It was a taste of her own medicine!”

“Scoot, swerving and bumping by accident is one thing, but deliberately slamming into racers is another. You can’t just-”

“Is the tank full?”

“Yeah.”

“Good! I’ve gotta juice while I’ve still got a lead!”

“But what about your tires?” Sweetie Belle asked.

“Don’t need new ones! I’m good to go!”

“But Scoot-”

Too late. Scootaloo had already zoomed onto the track once again, putting her in the lead.

“She’s getting careless,” I muttered to the girls. “Not getting her tires checked might cost her…”

“Scoot…” Dinky murmured.

A few moments later, with another loud roar, Diamond Tiara’s Platinum Panther went zooming out onto the track, Silver Spoon yelling something after her. It seemed she too was becoming reckless in her drive to win.


***


7th, 8th, 9th lap, and Diamond Tiara was still behind! It was too good to be true!

“I’m gonna win this!” Scootaloo said to herself, as she found herself entering lap 10, the final lap, the crowds going wild. “We’re gonna win this!”

And then, it happened.

*POW!*

There was a gasp from the crowd, and Scootaloo felt her heart jolt.

Her front left tire had burst.

It was too late to go back for a pit stop. She had to press on as it was.

“Oh no,” she muttered. “No, no, no, no, no. This isn’t good. Come on, Avenger, you can do it. Just gotta keep going!”

She stepped on the gas, and she pulled farther ahead, though the Avenger’s speed had dropped quite a bit in such a lopsided position. She had just rounded the bend when Diamond Tiara finally caught up. Her face was alight with a smug smile.

“Forgot to get your tires checked, Hooves?” she taunted. “What a shame.”

“Still doesn’t mean you’re gonna win, Tiara!” Scootaloo retorted.

“Oh really?”

Diamond Tiara swerved sharply. She was gonna knock into Scootaloo even when she was little better than defenseless.

*KLUNK! POW!*

Diamond Tiara’s smug sneer was replaced with a look of horror. Her front right tire had gone out from that collision.

“Ha!” laughed Scootaloo. “Not so high and mighty now, are we? Now we’re even!”

“Me? Even with a blank flank?! Never!”

She swerved again, but Scootaloo countered her. The two damaged wheels slammed together, and the two raced along, neck and neck, each trying hard to shake the other one off.

“Get off!” growled Diamond Tiara.

“You get off!” snapped Scootaloo.

“I will not!”

“Yes you will!”

“Won’t!”

“Will!”

*ZOOM!*

Both looked up. A cart had just shot past them, without their even knowing!

“Was that…”

“No way…”

“SNIPS?!”


***


“Oh, this doesn’t look good, folks!” said the mayor. “The Rainbow Avenger and the Platinum Panther seem to be locked in a stalemate as each jockeys for position!”

“Oh no,” I groaned. “Why, Scoot? Why?”

Then, all of a sudden, a flash of green and yellow swooped past the pair of them.

“Is this-? I don’t believe it! It’s the Close Shave! Snips seems to be taking advantage of the clash between the Avenger and the Panther, and is making leaps and bounds!”

Our jaws dropped collectively. We hadn’t even given consideration to the other racers. All of our focus had been on Scootaloo and Diamond Tiara. They were still far ahead of the rest of the pack, but with their furious vehicular wrestling, it was tough to say who was ahead of who.

The cars were closing in.

It was going to be a close one…

Cheerilee, looking tense about the scuffle, raised her flag.

“It’s...it’s...yes! The Close Shave has crossed first! Snips has taken first place!”

The crowd exploded into cheers as Snips pulled his cart to a stop on the side, but our eyes were on the Avenger and the Panther.

“Come on, Scootaloo. Come on…”

There was an awful, grinding crunch, and the Rainbow Avenger slid forward past the Panther.

“Aaaand...Ohhh, look at that! The Rainbow Avenger pulls into second by a nose, bringing the Platinum Panther in third!”

Second was still good!

Scootaloo was in the top 3!

“Way to go, Scoot!” I yelled, as the fillies bounced up and down excitedly.

“That’s my sister!” Dinky squealed.

Only...something was wrong.

Our cheers died away as it hit us.

“They’re not stopping,” I said, blankly, before shifting into fear. “Why aren’t they stopping?!”

The carts were still going, jostling against each other, their bad wheels grinding horribly.

“Scootaloo!” yelled the fillies (and, from somewhere in the stands, one very concerned pegasus mother).

“Diamond Tiara!” yelled Silver Spoon.

The cars swerved into the grass on the side of the track, and the Panther’s good front wheel struck a gopher hole or something. All I knew was, in the next instant, Diamond Tiara went flying out of her seat, tumbling through the air. Silver Spoon screamed and dashed for her.

But something else happened that rendered all else unnecessary.

In the blink of an eye, Scootaloo had bounded from her seat and dove for Diamond Tiara, her wings working furiously. She cleared the distance, caught the pink filly under the forelegs, and swooped up with her, avoiding a collision with the dirt.

…

She swooped up.

Scootaloo swooped up.

She was holding Diamond Tiara aloft in the air, her wings beating, not with the usual hummingbird buzz, but with a slower, more methodical flapping, like the beating of a metronome. Her face was strained from trying to support the Earth pony’s weight, but she was still airborne.

She was flying!

Scootaloo was flying!

All at once, I, the Crusaders, the other racers, and their pit crews rushed to the scene, followed by Derpy, Sparkler, and Rainbow Dash. There was also a stallion whom I assumed might be Diamond Tiara’s father, a brown-coated, slick black-maned stallion with three money bags for a cutie mark. Scootaloo was still trying to hold up Diamond Tiara when we arrived. At last, she sunk low enough so that the latter could settle onto the grass, where Silver Spoon ran up to her.

“Are you ok, Diamond Tiara?” she asked.

“I think so,” her friend answered, though she sounded stunned. “but...I lost. She made my Platinum Panther lose.”

Her father pulled her into a hug.

“I hope you’re not hurt, pumpkin,” he said, speaking with a Southern drawl that would have been home on Sweet Apple Acres.

“Just my pride, Daddy,” Diamond Tiara murmured, nuzzling against his chest.

Scootaloo, regaining her former altitude after dropping off Diamond Tiara, finally opened her eyes, and found herself looking me straight on.

“What the-? How did I get way up here?”

“I’ll give you three guesses, Scootaloo,” I said, with a smile.

The reality began to sink in, and she let out a gasp, her eyes going wide.

“I...I’m…”

“You’re flying, Scoot,” I said, proudly.

Disbelief gave way to joy, and she let out a jubilant whoop.

“YYYYES!” she crowed. “I can fly!”

She zoomed around the air like a bird, this way and that, shouting her jubilation into the sky. She began pulling corkscrews, loop-de-loops, somersaults, practically any trick a flier was able to do.  She finally touched down in front of her mother and sisters, all three of whom were beaming.

“Mom! Sparkler! Dinky!” she said. “I made it! I finally made it!”

Derpy enveloped her in a tight hug as she came down, kissing her forehead.

“Oh, my little darling!” she said. “I knew you could do it, I just knew it!”

She briefly pulled away to give her a very stern look.

“Don’t you ever scare me like that again, young lady!”

Scootaloo’s ears lowered, but Derpy resumed her embrace quick as a blink.

“But I’m just so proud of you…”

This time, Scootaloo had no fear of being hugged in public. She nuzzled up right beneath her mother’s chin, as Sparkler and Dinky joined the Hooves hug.

“Way to go, little sister!” said Sparkler.

“I wanna ride next!” chirped Dinky. “Me next, Scoot! Me next!”

“You’ve got it, Dinks!” Scootaloo said.

She was released from the hug, and she put her forelegs under Dinky’s. With a delighted squeal, the unicorn filly was lifted into the air, and Scootaloo soared about with her, a huge smile on her face.

“This is great!” said Apple Bloom. “Now we can try for all kinds of cutie marks, like parachutin’, or sky-divin’!”

“That’s so awesome!” said Sweetie Belle. “I knew she could do it!”

When Scootaloo and Dinky touched down from their joyride, they rejoined their pals, and together pulled off a very energetic four-way high-five. I was probably smiling like a dope, but what did it matter? I was really proud of her. She had really come a long way from the little filly I had to rescue from the Everfree Forest.

There was a sniffle at my elbow. I looked and saw Rainbow Dash wiping a tear from her eye.

“Rainbow!” I exclaimed, quite surprised at such a display. “Are you crying?”

“What? No! Of course not!” said Rainbow, defensively. “It’s, uh, liquid pride!”

I raised an eyebrow, but she was spared an explanation as Scootaloo threw herself against her chest with as big a hug as she could muster.

“Thank you so much, Rainbow Dash!” she said. “Your and Mom’s teaching really paid off! I can finally fly like you two!”

Rainbow’s face split into a warm smile as she put a foreleg around her.

“Now you’re a real racer, squirt,” she said. “And besides, It had to be my teaching, mostly. Who else could start their first flight like that?”

Derpy just smiled and rolled her eyes.

When they let go of each other, Scootaloo’s next action was to float up to my level, beaming from ear to ear.

“Congrats, Scoot,” I said, grinning. “You earned this.” 

I held up both hands, and she high-fived them with vigor. This was such a big day for her: getting second place in the derby and finally being able to fly all at once. I could think of nopony more deserving of such luck.

“Hey, Scootaloo, Diamond Tiara!” came Snips’ voice.

We all looked up. Snips was gesturing toward the winners’ platforms, where Mayor Mare and Cheerilee were waiting with the trophies.

“Come on, girls! We can’t start without ya!”

Scootaloo floated down, and she and Diamond Tiara looked at each other for a brief moment. Then, they nodded together and trotted off to join Snips. Derpy honked noisily at a handkerchief Sparkler handed her, as we watched Snips, Scootaloo, and Diamond Tiara get handed the gold, silver, and bronze trophies, respectively. The latter of the three did not look happy at all.


***


“PARTY TIME!!”

Pinkie was as good as her word, but quite unexpected in it as well. While we were distracted with the crash, Scootaloo, and the award ceremony, she had somehow managed to set up the pizza party outdoors, and the congratulatory banners looked as if they had been there the whole time. With that in mind, however, it was quite a surprise to see that they not only read ‘Congratulations, Racers!’. but also ‘You Can Fly, Scootaloo!’ How had she had time to prep that? Had she somehow known?

Well, at any rate, she had managed to stretch the 50 bits I gave her into an insane number of pizzas, along with other refreshments, courtesy of Sugarcube Corner. Everypony was pleasantly surprised by such an event, and praised Pinkie for it, but she said ‘it’s also thanks to the Crusaders for working so hard the past month’, so then we got a share of adulation. 

All I could say was, ‘it was nothing, really.’

The field was packed with quite a number of ponies. Besides me, Pinkie, the Crusaders, and the other racers, there was also Big Macintosh, Granny Smith, Cheerilee, Magnum, Pearl, Derpy, and Sparkler, all munching pizza, chatting, laughing, and talking about the race. Snips had quite a crowd around him as he told about his final dash to the finish line, and he looked like he was loving every minute of it.

Scootaloo had her share of excited listeners as well, hanging on her every word as she described the scuffle with Diamond Tiara. She even received an affectionate mane-tousle from a stallion I thought I recognized, but he was already gone before I could get a closer look.

Speaking of Diamond Tiara, it took me a while to find her and Silver Spoon, but eventually, I spotted them sitting alone, looking glum. They were probably still mopey about getting 3rd place, but the least they could do was have some pizza. I decided to remedy that, and grabbed a couple slices of cheese pizza, bringing them over to them.

“Hi, girls,” I said, kindly.

“Hi, Mr. Dave,” said Silver Spoon.

Diamond Tiara said nothing.

“Come on, why the long faces?” I asked.

“I didn’t win, first of all,” huffed Diamond Tiara. “That little Scootaloo had to ruin that for me. My cart was the best! It was supposed to win!”

“Well, I guess this just goes to prove,” I said, “that it’s not just the cart, but the driver itself, that makes the difference.” 

“Hmph.”

“Look, I can’t stop you kids from feuding, but you should be proud of how you did. You did a great job, and you at least made it to the top 3. 3rd place isn’t anything to sneeze at.”

“Just like I said,” said Silver Spoon.

Diamond Tiara said nothing.

“Come on, Diamond Tiara, it’s a party,” I said. “A party for all of you. Not just Snips, not just Scootaloo, but you too. You, Featherweight, Twist, Rumble, everypony. You all did your best, and you should be proud. Now, go on. Have some pizza.”

I laid the slices down in front of them.

“Think of it as my way of saying ‘no hard feelings’.”

Diamond Tiara looked from her slice of pizza to me. A few moments’ silence, and then, at last, she managed a small smile, joined shortly thereafter by Silver Spoon.

“That’s better,” I said, and I left them to return to the main bustle of the party.

It had been a very wild, crazy month, but at least I could rest easy knowing this whole derby madness was behind us now, with a fantastic payoff: a young filly had earned her wings.
> First Day of Winter
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Whew! I haven’t had this much fun since...well, since Pinkie’s last party.”

It was drawing near to sunset by the time the party wound down. Everypony had had their fill of pizza, and the foals were beginning to get tired. The adrenaline that had boosted them through the race was beginning to wear down. The bigger eaters, like Pinkie and Lyra, were finishing the leftovers, while the kids gathered up their carts and began wheeling them home with their families. I stuck around to help Scootaloo fix the damaged wheel on the Rainbow Avenger, while what looked like a tow wagon picked up the Platinum Panther for Diamond Tiara. Must have been included in the package for building the thing.

“Hey, Dave!”

I looked up from my work to see Big Macintosh striding over with Magnum, Pearl, Cheerilee, Bon Bon, and Lyra (who was licking sauce off her own face). Sweetie Belle was conked out and laying across Pearl’s back.

“Hey, Big Mac. What’s up?”

“Ah just had a talk with Cheerilee about the bowlin’ league idea.”

“And?”

“I think it’s a great idea!” said Cheerilee. “We’re in for sure!”

“All right! So, do we have a set date?”

“We were thinkin’ every first Tuesday of the month. That sound good to you?”

“Sounds great! Feels like Tuesday’s always a bowling day. Dunno if that’s just me, but I’m for it! Does Screwball know? I probably should have brought it up when I was helping her out at her house.”

“We’ll make sure she knows, don’t worry,” said Bon Bon. “She’s a frequent customer at the shop.”

“Is she?”

“Yeah,” said Lyra. “Bonnie always keeps a box of chocolate-dipped black licorice ready for her. It’s her favorite, but, personally, blech!”

“Oh, as if it’s nothing like your peanut butter gummy worms,” said Bon Bon, sarcastically.

“They will catch on, Bonnie, and then we’ll see who has the last laugh!” said Lyra, as if this was war.

“Anyways, next Tuesday,” said Big Mac, “we’re gettin’ our game on.”

“Next Tuesday?” I asked, puzzled, before realization dawned on me. “Oh yeah! That’s right! Tomorrow’s the first of December! I never even realized!”

“Which means you’d better bundle up,” came a voice over our heads.

We looked up to see Rainbow Dash chilling on a cloud, just floating there like a balloon with its string grounded. Fluttershy was floating beside her.

“First snowfall of the year, first order of the day on the weather team,” the Technicolor mare said.

“That’s why I make sure my animal friends are in bed early for hibernation,” said Fluttershy.

“Oh, really?” I asked. “Well, Rarity said she was going to make me a winter coat. I don’t wanna rush her, but hopefully she’s gotten around to it. This jacket’s fine for cooler weather like this, but I doubt it’ll hold up to snow weather.”

“As convenient as that would be,” came another familiar voice, “I’m afraid I haven’t discovered the spell for magic insulation. However, here it is, darling!”

Rarity trotted up, holding a bulky coat in her unicorn’s aura. It was navy-blue, with a hood attached to the collar. There was even a pair of large black boots to go with it, and a pair of gloves hanging from one of the pockets.

“Oh, wow!” I said, accepting the coat. “Thanks, Rarity!”

“Any time, dear. That should keep you snug and warm for the winter.”

“Hey, not bad, honey,” said Magnum. “We oughta swing by the boutique more often. We’re missing out on seein’ some great duds!”

“Er, yes, that would be delightful, Father,” said Rarity, with a rather fixed smile.

Something told me she didn’t like hearing her clothes being called ‘duds’.

“Well, we’d better get moseyin’,” said Pearl. “See you at the alley, Dave!”

“So long, guys! Lookin’ forward to it!”

“Good night, darling,” said Rarity. “I do hope the coat suits you well.’

“I’m sure it well. Good night, Rarity.”

The fashionista and the bowling ponies departed from the stadium, followed soon after by Applejack, Apple Bloom, and Granny Smith, who bid Fluttershy, Rainbow and me good night. Not too long after, Pinkie bounced past, still chipper and bouncy after downing so much leftover pizza.

“Enjoy your feast, Pinkie?” I asked.

“You bet! Leave no slice behind, that’s the Pie Pizza way!”

“Pie Pizza? Don’t you mean Pizza Pie?”

Pinkie giggled.

“Silly! There’s nopony in my family named ‘Pizza’! That’d be just kooky!”

(This coming from a pony who made a weapon that spews party decorations.)

“I’m gonna head back to the Corner. G’night, Davie, and don’t let the snowflakes bite!”

“Good night, you silly pony,” I replied, as Pinkie bounced away.

“Beep beep!”

Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash and I turned to see the Rainbow Avenger rolling up, Dinky sitting in the driver’s seat and playing with the steering wheel as her mother and sisters pushed it along. She looked like she was having the time of her life.

“Looks like I’m gonna have a side-project this winter,” said Scootaloo. “Making the tires weather-resistant so I can drive through snow! It’ll be awesome!”

“I think you’d need a snow plow for that,” I said.

“Ugh, that’d just make it look ugly,” said Scoot, disgustedly. “Well, at least I’ve got my wings to get me around now.”

“Does that mean you’re going to be retiring your scooter?”

“Heck no! Can you imagine what sorts of awesome new tricks I can pull off now that I can fly? I’m gonna be busier than ever practicing! Besides,” she added, in something like a fond tone, “it’s like an old friend. I can’t just put it to the side.”

“Now that’s the kind of loyalty talk I like to hear, squirt!” said Rainbow. “I never gave up any of my old toys from when I was your age.”

“Ohh, like your old Wonderbolt plushie?” Fluttershy asked.

Rainbow Dash’s face turned brick red.

“How do you know about-?!” she began swiftly, making Fluttershy wince, but then seemed to steel herself and said, after clearing her throat, “I mean, no idea what you’re talking about, Fluttershy.”

“Oh, come on, Dash,” said Derpy, with a smile, “everypony at flight camp knew how much you loved that little thing. You were about as good at hiding it as Twilight is at hiding a lecture.”

Rainbow fumed, her ears going flat.

“Oh, Rainbow, it’s nothing to feel bad about,” said Fluttershy, patting her back. “I think it’s sweet that you’re holding onto a toy you loved so much.”

“Well, it’s not like I sleep with it!” Rainbow snapped.

Fluttershy blinked.

“I never said you did,” she said, puzzled.

Rainbow’s cheeks reddened again.

“Er, well, I don’t! So there! I better get going. Lots of snow to plan for tomorrow. Later, guys, and congrats again, Scoot.”

Even in the midst of her recent embarrassment attack, she managed to throw a wink in Scootaloo’s direction, earning a big smile from her little fan. With that, she took off so quickly that the cloud broke apart and vanished.

“Do you want any help wheeling that back home?” I asked Derpy and the girls.

“Why, thank you for offering!” said Derpy. “If it’s all right with you, that is.”

“Sure! Fluttershy, I’ll see you later, all right?”

“Ok. Good night, everypony!’

As Fluttershy flitted off at her own pace, I helped wheel the Rainbow Avenger to the Hooves’ household, while Dinky continued to play around in the front seat, as if she were in her own derby.


***


I awoke in the middle of the night with a sudden start. I had just had a very strange dream.

I dreamed I was standing out in the middle of the derby race track, when something zipped past me. Before I could look to see what it was, something else went past at the same speed. At last, looking further on, I could make out several large, blurred shapes zipping around, chasing after something smaller. The smaller blurb turned out to be Scootaloo, flying as fast as her wings could carry her, and the larger things were winged dragons, each with one of the racers from the derby riding it like a mount. Diamond Tiara was at the head, commanding a white and pink dragon that more than made up for its girly coloring with the meanest-looking face and the biggest jaws. Mounted on its forehead, like a crown, was what looked like a bobblehead you’d find in someone’s car. But then, why did it look like Princess Cadence?

Several times, the dragon came dangerously close to biting Scootaloo’s tail off, but she kept a steady lead ahead of the whole pack. Unfortunately, the gap between them was getting smaller and smaller. It looked like only a matter of time before the little filly would become dragon chow…

And then, quite suddenly, Scootaloo whipped around to face the oncoming horde of scales and claws. She put her hooves behind her back, and from out of nowhere, pulled out a wheatball that was at least 4 times as big as she was. The sheer ease with which she balanced it on her hoof was incredible. Still hovering in motion, she pulled it back and lobbed it, like a bowling ball, at the dragons.

*WHAM!*

The wheatball struck the beasts and...made them explode into countless bowling pins. Diamond Tiara and the other racers plummeted to the ground, but Scootaloo zipped toward them, catching them all one by one before they hit the ground. She set them all down on the ground and floated above them as they chanted, “Scootaloo! Scootaloo!” Diamond Tiara, however, slunk off, looking very sulky. Then, she jumped inside of a blue box, that seemed to have popped up out of the ground, and vanished.

And that was when I’d woken up.

It had reminded me of the ‘Candyland’ dream I’d had weeks ago, in both its randomness and surreal nature. It was probably the result of too much pizza. As I lay back down, it occurred to me that Pinkie ate worse stuff than I did. What did she do when she had nightmares? Were they any weirder than her natural dreams? Princess Luna visited dreams during the night, but what did she do whenever she entered a Pinkie dream?

Thinking about these sorts of things helped tire my brain back down and ease me back into sleep, where the remainder of my dreams became routine and undisturbed.


***


When I woke up again, it was morning, and yet a very cold morning. I’d kept the window closed last night, and yet it was still chilly inside, as if there were a very bad draft. Not to mention, the window itself was almost completely white. Crossing over, I took a wipe at it, and sure enough, it was just misted. I wiped a clear patch away and peered out.

The entire landscape was covered in a thick blanket of snow, and big flakes were still falling from the sky. Rainbow Dash hadn’t been kidding when she said ‘first thing in the morning’. It made me wonder how early pegasi had to get up for such heavy-duty weather jobs.

I went to go get dressed and put on my new winter coat. I just had to head outside and take a look. It was as if seeing all that snow had ignited the little kid in me. Where I had originally grown up, snow was a common thing in winter time, but after moving further south, it just wasn’t thinkable anymore. Now, it was as if I was back in my old home (the home before my current home back home, that is.)

At last, fully-clothed and booted, I stepped outside, the snow crunching away beneath my feet. It must have been a foot deep at least. Looking out, I caught sight of Ponyville. All of its rooftops were frosted with a layer of snow. Even from this distance, it looked like something out of a Christmas card. Or, would that be ‘Hearth’s Warming’ card?

I could see that my mailbox was slightly ajar. Wading over to it, I found that my newspaper had been stashed inside it. Scootaloo must have had the forethought to put it in so it wouldn’t get buried under the snow. Smart kid.

I must have been the only one out at that time. Everypony else was probably still snug and warm in their beds. They were definitely wiser than me, stepping out into an icy, chilly morning as if I actually had an agenda. With the derby over, there was nothing to schedule or make plans for. Remembering what Twilight had said about setting monthly goals, I started to ponder what I could do for a goal in December, as I grabbed my mail and headed back inside.

As I heated up some hot cocoa and toast for breakfast, I leafed through what I’d gotten for today. Besides the paper, there were a few other things, like an advertisement for Club Scratch, Vinyl’s DJ venue, which said there was going to be a special dance night on Hearth’s Warming Eve, called the ‘Hearth’s Warming Wub-stravaganza’, with a special encore on Hearth's Warming Day. It depicted a headshot of Vinyl wearing her glasses and a Santa hat. So, did that mean Equestria had a Santa figure too? Funny how I never thought of that during the Q&A.

There was also another official-looking envelope from Ironmane. As I suspected, it was another workbook, and the instructions were crisp and to-the-point.

“David,
As the winter season is upon us, your next assignment shall test your knowledge on natives and non-natives of Equestria who come from differing climates. Using the compendium I gave you during your first assignment, along with the reference notes included with the text you have just received, compare and contrast those who come from warmer climates, and those who come from colder. Include details as to how their habitats affect their habits and cultures.
-Ironmane”

So Ironmane wanted to play geography teacher with me? Fair enough. I wasn’t a genius when it came to that, but I took at least some interest in it. Maybe Twilight could offer some pointers about it.

The last thing was a letter, or...was it an envelope? The address was written on a folded piece of paper, and the letter itself was written on an envelope, front and back. There was no return address, or at least not a name within it, but it wasn’t difficult to assume that it came from Screwball. The letter, er, envelope only got even more mystifying, because the message was written backwards!

“,evaD raeD
.noitaicerppa ym wohs ot gnihtemos elttil a uoy dnes ot detnaw I os ,dneirf ym eb ot tnaw ot dnik yrev neeb ev’uoY .meht rof kniht I tahw etirw tsael ta nac I tub ,em ot gniklat era seinop nehw sdrow dnif ot em rof ysae ton s’tI .llew gniod er’uoy epoh I
!noos niaga uoy ees ot epoH”

Now that was a sure-enough sign that this was Screwball’s, er, hoof-diwork? I took the message into the bathroom and held it up to the mirror to decode it. Here was what it really said:

“Dear Dave,
I hope you’re doing well. It’s not easy for me to find words when ponies are talking to me, but I can at least write what I think for them. You’ve been very kind to want to be my friend, so I wanted to send you a little something to show my appreciation.
Hope to see you again soon!”

There was another piece of paper tucked away in the envelope, so I drew it out and unfolded it as I returned to the living room. I was amazed: it was a full-color sketch drawing of myself and Screwball together. The details were astonishing, with shading and everything. She was quite the artistic talent for somepony so...out there. Down below were written three words: ‘My Human Friend’. A smile came over my face. Screwball had such a sweet heart beneath all the oddities and peculiarities. To make me such a nice little gift…

Wait a minute.

Gifts…

December…

Aha! I had it!

I knew what I could do for the month!

I would find and buy gifts for all of my closest friends!

In a rush of excitement, I hurried to the calendar, flipped it over to December, and scribbled, on the little box marked for Hearth’s Warming Eve, the 25th,

‘Goal: Gifts for friends’

As soon as I’d finished writing it, however, I began to realize just what an endeavor that was going to be. I’d grown to accumulate many friends just by hanging around with Pinkie. That wasn’t so surprising, as she was a magnet for company. However, a lot of friends meant a lot of gifts, and a lot of gifts meant a lot of bits. What I earned from my stipend couldn’t be splurged on frivolous things like Hearth’s Warming gifts; that was what I needed to save for groceries and other needs.

There was only one recourse to take in this situation.

I’d have to get a part-time job somewhere in Ponyville. Again.

The only question was, where?

As far as I could see, there were several options I could choose from. There was Sparkler’s jewelry, but I’d had a hard enough time with that already. Berry’s? Probably not. I might have better luck with the library; I’d spent a lot of my time at the one back home shelving books as volunteer work. I could even probably find some work at Bon Bon’s or Sugarcube Corner. It’d be nice, and maybe even a little fun, to work alongside the sweet chocolatier and her nutty unicorn friend. Then again, working at the Corner might allow me to work with Pinkie, and I could hazard a guess at how much she’d love that idea.

As I sat and pondered, there came a knock at the door. I went to answer it, and found Moonlight standing outside. She was dressed in a cap and scarf that were the dark blue of an evening sky.

“Hi, Dave!”

“Morning, Moonlight. What brings you around here?”

“I woke up and saw the snow outside, and it got me all excited! I went to go play around in it, but then it got too chilly for me.”

Small wonder, when all she was wearing was a scarf and hat.

“I then figured, since I was already out and about, that I’d come see you. Maybe we could catch up on the next Daring Do book together.”

“You know, Moonlight, your timing’s actually perfect. I’ve got some hot cocoa brewing, should be ready soon. We can read The Staff of Star Swirl over a hot mug, you and me. How’s that sound?”

“Wonderful!” said Moonlight.

“Come on in and make yourself cozy.”

Moonlight shook the snow from her hooves and trotted inside, setting herself up on the sofa while I tended to the cocoa. I returned to my guest with two hot mugs of the stuff, then went to grab the book and a blanket. I handed the latter to her, and she gratefully bundled up in it. As I sat down, she settled herself snugly at my side, and we opened the book between us.

Thursday, December 1
> Bonbons and Bunnies
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I may have said this before, but it was amazing how completely the rest of the world seems to shut itself out when one is engrossed in a gripping story. The hours flew away as Moonlight and I sat together, snug and side-by-side, over Daring’s next adventure. We kept each other laughing over the overly-dramatic voices we chose for Ahuizotl and Daring, especially during the former’s hammy ‘the world will be mine’ speeches. Those were causing a strain on my vocal cords, however. Even after taking a break for lunch, allowing me to wet my whistle, I couldn’t keep up Ahuizotl’s voice, and eventually gave up at a very cliffhanger-esque point in the middle of the novel. Needless to say, it was a rotten time to leave off. 

“Aw, man, why’d we have to pick such a bad spot to stop at?” Moonlight groaned.

“I blame my voice for getting tired too easily,” I croaked, hoarsely.

“Well, this story’s super-intense so far,” said Moonlight. “An artifact that lets anypony, even if they’re not a unicorn, use magic? Who wouldn’t want that?”

"Twilight did say this was her favorite installment,” I said. “That girl is nuts about Star Swirl the Bearded, and this has his name written all over it.”

Moonlight giggled. I went to grab a glass of water, which was what I really needed.

“Lemme just grab a bookmark to save our spot,” I said, after a long drink. “Lord knows we don’t wanna stumble onto a spot in the book we haven’t seen yet.”

I took the book into my room with me, and Moonlight trotted after me. I didn’t have a bookmark sitting around, and I never felt good about the whole ‘bending a corner of the page’ thing, so I had to make due with an unused feather quill. Moonlight, meanwhile, was looking about the room nonchalantly, when she suddenly let out an ‘eep’ of surprise.

Someone was knocking at the door.

“Now who could that be?” I muttered.

The two of us crossed to the front door and I opened it up. There in front of it was Pinkie, wearing a blue, long-sleeved parka that fit snugly over her upper body, and a fuzzy snow cap the same color.

“Hi, Davie! Hello, Moonlight!”

“Hey, Pinkie!”

“Hello, Pinkie! Good to see you again!”

“Good to see you too, Moonlight! Isn’t it just a snow-tacular day today?”

As if to emphasize, Pinkie stuck her tongue out and caught a big snowflake on it, zipping it into her mouth with the speed and motion of a cash register drawer.

“But first snowfall snowflakes aren’t quite ripe enough,” she said, in a regretful tone. “I prefer January flakes, personally.”

(Ripe snowflakes? Now I’ve heard everything…)

“So, what are you guys up to?”

“We were just getting through a good chunk of the next Daring Do book,” I said.

“Ooh, neato! You two really like your Daring Do, huh?”

“It’s the best,” said Moonlight, zealously, before adding, in a more subdued tone, “but I shouldn’t spend my days just sitting around. I was actually hoping to find a job somewhere in Ponyville.”

I looked at her in surprise.

“Really?”

“Mm-hmm. I figure it’ll help me get out of the house more, earn some bits for myself. It is the holiday season, after all.”

Those were almost exactly my own reasons for wanting to get a job, and how coincidental that she should bring it up on the same day that I had decided to do the same thing. 

“Well, I think that’s just super-duper!” said Pinkie. “I’ll even help you!”

“You will?” asked Moonlight.

“Sure! I know just about everypony in Ponyville, so I know where they work, too! I can put in a good word for you, or help you get comfortable with it!”

“Pinkie, that’s very sweet of you,” said Moonlight.

“It’s the least I can do for a friend,” said Pinkie, smiling. “So, what kinda stuff are you good at?”

At first, it looked like Moonlight was considering her answer. However, a closer look at her face told me something wasn’t quite right. She was staring straight ahead, her gaze unfocused, almost like a zombie.

“Moonlight?” I asked. “You ok?”

Moonlight seemed to snap to her senses. She blinked and shook her head.

“Uh? Oh, my! So sorry. I guess I lost my train of thought. What was the question?”

Pinkie and I looked at each other. Should we be concerned about this? I’d never seen Moonlight space out like that before. Usually she was such a mellow pony. Pinkie, however, seemed to choose not to question it.

“I was just asking what kind of stuff you were really good at,” she said.

“Oh! That’s right! Well, I enjoy quiet things. Reading, house-cleaning-”

“House-cleaning?” asked Pinkie.

“I can attest to that,” I said, remembering how she’d helped make my house spic and span before the slumber party.

“It’s silly, I know,” said Moonlight, modestly. “I just like keeping tidy.”

“No, no, that’s not silly at all!” said Pinkie. “I can already think of a couple places that might use your help.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah, like the library. There’s tons of books there, and Twilight likes being tidy, too! I remember one time, she got mad because there was one little speck of dust that got missed when she and Spike were dusting.”

“Oh, really?” asked Moonlight. “Well, I’ve never known myself to leave even a trace of dust behind.”

“Super! You might also do well working with Rarity. She likes to keep things neat and organized, and she loves reading romance novels!”

“Romance novels?” asked Moonlight, turning a slight shade of pink at the cheeks. “Oh my. I’m not sure if those are really my thing, but those certainly do sound like some considerable choices.”

“Howzabout I take you on down to the library and Boutique, then?” asked Pinkie. “We can get an early start!”

“That sounds wonderful, Pinkie.”

“You don’t mind, do you, Davie?” Pinkie asked me.

“Nah, I had some stuff I needed to take care of anyway. You two have fun.”

“I always do!” said Pinkie. 

Moonlight went to grab her hat and scarf, then rejoined Pinkie at the door.

“Goodbye, Dave,” she said. “Thanks again for the hospitality.”

“Anytime, Moonlight. I’ll see you both later.”

“Okie-dokie-lokie!” said Pinkie. “Bye, Davie!”

She bounced off through the snow, leaving big gaps in the blanket of white covering the ground, while Moonlight flapped after her. It was nice that Moonlight wanted to get a job and earn some bits for herself, but that only raised the question: how had she been getting by before? And what was with that space-out she did? Then again, who was I to talk, when I let my mind wander so often? At all events, I decided to take a walk about Ponyville, maybe scope out a prospective workplace of my own, so I went to grab my winter gear.


***


Well, as luck would have it, I had just stepped into Ponyville when I saw Bon Bon disappearing quickly inside her sweet shop. She had just pasted a sign on the window, reading ‘HELP WANTED. APPLICANTS INQUIRE WITHIN’. I cast a gaze toward the heavens.

“You’re good, Lord,” I muttered, appreciatively. “You’re very good.”

As I stepped inside, I was greeted by the sound of Lyra plucking at her lyre. Sure enough, there she was, seated on a stool, strumming her tuneful instrument. She began to sing a short ditty, to the tune of ‘My Bonnie Lies Over the Ocean’. How fitting, considering the subject of the ditty.

“Oh, Bon Bon serves sweets with a smile
The tastiest candy you’ll see
But she’ll always go the extra mile
And save the best pieces for me”

“Very flattering,” said Bon Bon, “but you don’t know that for sure.”

“You can’t fool me, Bonnie,” said Lyra. “You and I both know you do, because I’m your bestie.”

Bon Bon looked at her. The unicorn gave her a silly grin, and, at last, the Earth pony chuckled and gave Lyra an affectionate noogie.

“I’d say it makes up part of her dues as taste-tester as well,” I quipped.

The two mares looked up in surprise.

“Hey, dude!” said Lyra. “You gotta stop sneaking up on us like this.”

“Yeah, that is starting to become a nasty habit, isn’t it?” I asked, meekly.

“Oh, don’t fret about it, Dave,” said Bon Bon. “What can we do for you?”

“Actually, the question is, what can I do for you? I saw your Help Wanted sign and came right over.”

“Oh!” said Bon Bon, sounding delighted. “You want a job here?”

“Sure. I mean, it depends on what kind of stuff you’d need me to do.”

“Dave, working here?” asked Lyra, looking excited. “That would be awesome!”

“Well, then,” said Bon Bon, in a more business-like tone, “welcome aboard.”

Wait, what?

That was it?

“You mean, just like that?” I asked. “But, don’t I need references? An application?”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” said Bon Bon, waving my questions off. “The whole staff knows who you are.”

“And by ‘the whole staff’, she means me and her,” said Lyra, earning herself an annoyed look from Bon Bon.

“But, don’t I still need a job interview?” I asked.

“Not necessary,” said Bon Bon. “It’s the benefit of being a small business owner.”

“Huh. That’s convenient, I suppose.”

“I know, right?” asked Lyra. “Saved me having to put on a suit and make a resume`.”

“You invited yourself to be my taste tester, Lyra,” said Bon Bon, “as I keep telling you.”

“Potato, potahto,” Lyra said, carelessly.

“So, what exactly do you need help with?” I asked.

“I’ll be blunt with you, Dave,” said Bon Bon, “the holiday season is a busy time for workers in the food industry. It’s a popular time for sweets, candies, and baked goods. This is what we call one of our prime months, the others being October and February, since that’s when we have Nightmare Night and Hearts and Hooves Day, respectively. In short, this position I’m posting is only part-time. However, if you show me you can handle the responsibilities, I may call upon you again when duty calls. Are you alright with that?”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Our working hours on a normal day are from 10 to 6, noon to 6 on Saturday, and we’re closed on Sunday, holidays excepting, of course. I can start you off at 5 bits an hour, for some counter-work and organizing the stock. Is that reasonable?”

I did some rough calculating in my head. 5 bits an hour, at 8 hours a day, plus 6 on Saturday was 40 a day + 30, making 230 bits a week. Setting that aside for gifts and cards for my friends, I could make it by Hearth’s Warming!

“That’s very reasonable,” I said.

“Excellent!” said Bon Bon. “Then, I’ll reiterate: welcome aboard!”

She held out her hoof, and I shook it firmly. Lyra beamed.

“We’ll have you start next Monday,” said Bon Bon.

“Sounds good,” I said. “May I just ask one question, though?”

“Yes?”

“What danger am I in of putting on weight while I’m here? It is a candy shop, after all.”

“Less than if you had my post, bud,” said Lyra. “You’ll fit in, but you won’t fit out.”

“Oh, who are you to complain?” Bon Bon asked. “You get all the free candy you want, and it's not like you can’t fit through the door because of it.”

“I know. Who said I was complaining?” Lyra asked, shrugging.

“You certainly make your opinions clear when I decide to bring you on a jog or walk with me,” said Bon Bon, tersely.

“That’s cuz it cuts in on my practicing,” said Lyra, before adding, in a comically dramatic tone, “You never interrupt the mistress at her musical mastery.”

Bon Bon was about to continue, but dropped the subject.

“Let’s just get you an apron for when you do start,” she said, finally. “Follow me.”

An apron? Sheesh, what would my family think if they saw me in a getup like that?

She led me toward the back of the store, and as we left the main room, I heard the door open, and Lyra proclaimed, loudly,

“Welcome to Bon Bon’s Bonbons! How can we satisfy your sweet tooth today?”


***


When we returned, it was to find Lyra talking to none other than Screwball. There was a paper bag full of long, stick-shaped candy on the counter.

“Yeah! Every first Tuesday of the month!”

Screwball was smiling eagerly, the propellor on her beanie spinning like mad. The two mares looked over as Bon Bon and I approached.

“Hello, Screwball!” said Bon Bon, kindly.

“Hey, Screwball,” I said. “I got your envelope. Thanks very much for the sentiments.”

Screwball smiled shyly, swinging her front hoof in a bashful way.

“I was just telling her about our bowling league,” said Lyra. “She’s excited about it.”

Screwball nodded energetically, making that odd jingling noise again.

“Well, we’ll be glad to have you on the team as usual, Screwball,” said Bon Bon. “And from what I hear, Dave’s going to be there as well.”

Screwball looked at me expectantly.

“I sure am,” I said. “I’ll be glad to see you there.”

Screwball beamed and clapped her hooves, each clap making a sound like the honk of a clown’s horn. Then, she placed a few bits on the counter and grabbed the top of the bag in her teeth, dragging it off its perch.

“We’ll see you later, Screwball,” said Bon Bon.

“Bye,” I said,

“See ya!” said Lyra.

Screwball wagged her tail by way of farewell and trotted out the door.

“She’s a such a sweet girl,” said Bon Bon. “Shame she’s so shy.”

“That was a tongue-twister,” muttered Lyra, before saying aloud, “Still, it’s awesome you’re gonna be part of the crew, man. I knew Bonnie wouldn’t say no.”

“Yes, well, some ponies have accused me of being too nice,” said Bon Bon, with a smile.

“And what’s wrong with that?” asked Lyra, coming over and tossing a foreleg over her friend’s shoulders. “The sweetest sweets from the sweetest mare, am I right?”

Bon Bon’s cheeks, especially the one pressed against Lyra’s, went pink.

“Lyra, don’t be so silly,” she said.

“Besides,” said Lyra, letting go of Bon Bon, “if you had given him my taste-testing job, I’d have been super-ticked.”

“Oh, please, Lyra, why would I take that from you?” I asked, banteringly. “I love candy as much as the next guy, but Bon Bon lets you sample her wares for a reason.”

“Exactly,” said Bon Bon, who appeared to appreciate my choice of words.

Lyra grinned broadly.

“I think you’re gonna fit in just fine, Dave,” she said. “Is there anything we can get ya today?”

“Nah, not today. I’ll have plenty of opportunities come Monday.”

“Right again, big guy,” said Lyra. “See ya then, if not sooner!”

“So long, gals, and thanks again, Bon Bon.”

“Thank you for offering, Dave. We’ll be glad to have you aboard. Have a good one!”

I took my leave of the candy mare and her taste-tester, mentally reveling in the fact that I’d gotten a job in Ponyville, while also making a mental note to try Lyra’s peanut butter gummy worms. 

As I left, I heard Lyra say to Bon Bon,

“You think with those hands, he could scoop twice as much candy?”

“Lyra…”


***


I didn’t see Moonlight as I was coming back, nor did I see her all the rest of the afternoon. She and Pinkie must have been keeping up their job hunt in every corner of the town. As I wandered about, school eventually went out for the day, and I could see little foals galloping and plunging through the drifts, laughing, making snow angels, and tossing snowballs.

*PIFF!*

In fact, a snowball pelted me right in the back of my head. I whipped around to see Scootaloo and Dinky, both wearing scarves and earmuffs, holding their hooves behind their backs and trying to look innocent.

“Ok, who did that?” I asked, warningly.

Both fillies pointed at each other, fighting to keep straight faces.

“Hold out your hooves.”

They both did, but both pairs were coated with snow. It was impossible to single one of them out.

“All right, I can’t prove which of you did it,” I said, slowly, “but lemme warn you.”

I bent down, scooped up a glove-full of snow and packed it into a ball for them to see.

“I’d better not find out which one of you little scamps did it. You don’t want me to have to use a size-Dave snowball.”

The fillies said nothing, their eyes on the snowball.

*PIFF!*

Another snowball hit me in the back of the head. I whipped around to see Apple Bloom, wearing a hat and scarf, one hoof outstretched. Scootaloo and Dinky burst into giggles.

“Apple Bloom?” I asked, surprised. “That was you?”

“Not the first time,” said Apple Bloom, giggling.

*PAFF!*

This time I dropped my own snowball. I turned around, and there was Sweetie Belle, wearing a miniature parka. So they had all been in on that, and made Scootaloo and Dinky the scapegoats! Those devious little stinkers!

“All right, all right, you got me,” I admitted. “I won’t lie, that was pretty clever. I was so sure that snowball had had ‘Hooves’ written on it. Now run along, before I decide to make a Dave snowball for all four of you.”

Laughing, and with calls of ‘Bye, Dave!”, the Crusaders trudged off through the snow, Scootaloo hovering above them all. Chuckling to myself over their antics, I made my own way off.

Call me a nostalgic fool, but seeing the countryside blanketed with a fresh coat of snow really took me back to my days back in my childhood home. Days spent sledding down hills, making snow angels, snowball fights, building snowmen, the kind of things you wouldn’t be able to do down South. It also reminded me of those winter Calvin and Hobbes strips I used to read all the time, whether it was an all-out snowball fight between the titular duo, a philosophical dissertation via a harrowing sled ride, or building creative, yet creepy, snow creations, there was something heartwarming about seeing a winter landscape in written, animated, or even filmed form. It really gave one a sense of appreciation for the beauty of nature in all of its forms, not just in spring or summer.

I wasn’t keeping track of how long I was out, but my face was freezing, the worst spot of it being my nose. I had also been rather aimless, content merely to wander and look about as I went. At all events, I caught sight of a familiar pony trotting through the snow, wearing a fluffy-collared coat that matched her sea-green eyes.

It was Fluttershy.

“Hello, Fluttershy!” I called.

The shy pegasus ‘eep’ed, much like Moonlight had earlier, and jumped slightly, her wings flaring out. When she saw me, however, she sighed with relief and folded her wings back up again.

“Hello, Dave,” she said. “You startled me.”

“Sorry. I just didn’t expect to find you, or, really, anypony, out here.”

“I was just making sure all of my animal friends were snug and safe in their homes for the winter,” said Fluttershy. “I like to bring them hot chocolate, an extra blanket, even a fluffier pillow, just to make sure they’re cozy. So far, they all are.”

“Well, that’s good,” I said. “Mind if I walk with you?”

Fluttershy’s face broke into a sweet smile.

“I would like that very much,” she said. “Perhaps afterwards, you could stop in for some tea.”

“I like the sound of that,” I said.

So, with Fluttershy close by my side, the two of us started off through the snow, chatting about this or that. The hot topic on the pegasus’s mind was the end of the race, with Scootaloo finally becoming able to fly.

“I had high hopes for her,” she said. “I knew she would learn how to fly if Rainbow Dash was teaching her, and I suppose I wasn’t too far off.”

“She deserves it,” I said, “after everything that’s happened to her. Who better to help her realize one of her biggest passions than her idol? Of course, I’m not saying Derpy didn’t do anything.”

“Oh, of course not,” said Fluttershy. “It’s a little strange now, to think that Derpy only adopted Scootaloo a few months ago. If I hadn’t known that, I would never have guessed she hadn’t been part of the family until then.”

“Heh, yeah,” I said. “She and Dinky get along really well, don’t they?”

“Not just with Dinky,” said Fluttershy. “I see how happy she is when Derpy or Sparkler takes her to the park to play. It’s like she’s always been there with them. It warms my heart to see her have a family of her own.”

“You’ve got an eye for the maternal, don’t you, Fluttershy?” I asked.

Fluttershy smiled bashfully.

“Well, it comes naturally when you’ve spent your life caring for animals,” she said. “You start to develop a maternal instinct for all living creatures. Good with animals, not so good with foals.”

“Oh?”

“I tried watching Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo together at once one night. It didn’t go so well.”

“Hmm, yeah, I can’t say I blame you. Trying to keep an eye on Sweetie Belle was a handful in and of itself for me. Still, you just seem like the mother type, Fluttershy.”

“To Angel, maybe,” said Fluttershy, grinning, “but I wouldn’t go much further than that.”

“How’s he been, by the way?” I asked. “The last I saw of him was when he was giving me the stink-eye through your window while I was raking leaves.”

“Was he?” asked Fluttershy. “Oh, that naughty bunny. He’s not a bad boy, really. He’s just a little independent, and set in his ways. He has helped me out a lot in the past.”

“Has he?”

“Oh yes. He’s a very smart bunny. He says it’s ‘all in the paw’.”

(Considering how rabbit’s feet are considered lucky, I’m not surprised.)

“You’re lucky to have such a smart critter as a pal,” I said.

“I know,” said Fluttershy, “and I know he knows. He just has a hard time letting it show. In fact, in a way, he reminds me of Rainbow Dash. They’re both a little rough around the edges, but deep down they’ve got good hearts.”

All of a sudden, Fluttershy clapped a hoof to her mouth and looked frightened, as if she had just let a naughty word slip out.

“Please don’t tell Rainbow I said that,” she pleaded. “She’s probably still mad at me about blabbing about her Wonderbolt plush.”

I put a reassuring arm around the cream-colored pegasus.

“My lips are sealed,” I promised her.

She smiled and rested her head against my side as we continued on through the snow.


***


True to her word, as evening was drawing near, we arrived at Fluttershy’s house, and she invited me in for a cup of tea. I had hardly crossed the threshold, however, before something hard smacked me in the side of the head. It turned out to be a half-eaten carrot, tossed by a grumpy-looking Angel Bunny, seated on the end of the couch.

“Angel!” Fluttershy scolded, though in a gentle tone. “We don’t throw things at guests. Dave’s here for a cup of tea to warm up. It’s been a cold day for both of us, and you’ve been snug and warm at home. I did invite you along, remember.”

Angel just rolled his eyes.

“I’ll go get the tea started,” said Fluttershy. “In the meantime, you and Angel can get to know each other.”

She said this with an optimistic smile, but I wondered if she even realized what she was asking of me.

“Er, sure,” I said. “I’ll bet we’ll get along just dandy.”

Angel crossed his front paws.

“Wonderful,” said Fluttershy. “Please, make yourself at home.”

She walked off to the kitchen, and, after taking off my snow gear, I took a seat in an armchair. Angel didn’t take his eyes off me once. For a while, I just sat there, twiddling my thumbs, trying to think of a way to break the ice. What was one supposed to say to a rabbit, anyway? The ticking of the clock seemed especially loud in the silent, awkward atmosphere.

“You’ve got quite a throwing arm,” I said at last, “to throw a carrot from all the way over there.”

Angel’s expression didn’t change.

“Fluttershy tells me you’re her smart little helper,” I tried. “All in the paw, she said you say.”

Angel still didn’t move. This wasn’t working.

“You’re not fooling me, you know,” I said, finally. “I saw you glaring at me through the window. I was just helping Fluttershy with the leaves. Was I butting in on one of your duties or something? If so, I apologize.”

At last, Angel did make a movement.

He blew a raspberry at me.

That little stinker! Here I was, trying to be nice, and he responds with a rude gesture!

I stuck my tongue out at him in retaliation.

He responded with a goofy face to mock me.

We kept at this silent, and admittedly immature, bout until we heard Fluttershy’s hoofsteps. Both of us cut it out at once as she came in with a tray held in her teeth, bearing a teapot, three teacups, and a plate of biscuits. She set it down gently on the table in front of the armchair and sofa.

“Aww, Fluttershy, you should have asked. I would have helped you carry that.”

“Oh, no, it’s no trouble,” said Fluttershy, “but thank you.”

She poured out the tea and handed the cups around.

“Please, help yourself to a biscuit or two,” she said. “I made them myself.”

“Don’t mind if I do,” I said, taking one.

The biscuits were light and buttery, and the tea, although a flavor I’d never tried before, warmed my insides just by smelling its aroma. It was the perfect cure for walking around on a cold day.

While Fluttershy was preoccupied with her tea, Angel peeked around her to look at me. Catching my eye, he performed a four-part pantomime: pointing to his own eye, tapping his forehead, pointing at me, then pinching his nose with his paw.

‘I-think-you-stink’

Why, that little…

Making sure Fluttershy wasn’t watching, I performed one of my own: pointing at him, moving my hands like I was operating a steering wheel, pointing at myself, then swirling my finger near my head in a ‘cuckoo, cuckoo’ fashion.

‘You-drive-me-crazy’

Angel just stuck his tongue out at me and resumed his tea.

“Have you two been getting along?” Fluttershy asked.

“Oh, yes,” I said, trying to keep a straight face. “We’ve been getting along just fine.”

“Oh, good,” said Fluttershy, smiling. “I’m so glad.”

I didn’t want to hurt her feelings by saying otherwise, so all I could do was sit and sip my tea. I hoped to Heaven that Angel didn’t treat her the same way he treated strangers.


***


Eventually, feeling warm and comfortable on the inside once again, I decided it was time for me to head home. I didn’t want to overstay my welcome, especially with that surly rabbit watching me like a hawk.

“Thanks very much for your hospitality, Fluttershy,” I said, putting all of my winter gear back on.

“It was no trouble at all,” said Fluttershy. “Feel free to stop by anytime. I’ll most likely be here at home with Angel. Better yet, you can always join Rarity and me at the spa again.”

“I’ll definitely consider that,” I said. “Until next time, Fluttershy.”

“Goodbye, Dave.”

With that, I took my leave of the kind pegasus and her rabbit housemate, stepping back out into the winter chill. It wasn’t as bad as before, however. The tea was doing wonders for my insides.

I had just reached home when Moonlight sprang up out of nowhere.

“Whoa! Hey there, Moonlight. You surprised me.”

“Sorry, I’m just so excited!” she said.

“Why’s that?”

“Pinkie Pie got me a job at Sugarcube Corner!”

“Sugarcube Corner? Moonlight, that’s great!”

“I know! It’ll be my job to make sure the displays are organized and the kitchen is tidy.”

“Sounds right up your alley,” I said.

“I start on Monday, but I’m just so excited! I feel like it can’t come quickly enough!”

Boy, she was so passionate about this whole thing. Then again, she wanted this, so why should I expect anything less?

“Congratulations, Moonlight,” I said. “I know you’ll do great. As for me, I got a job at Bon Bon’s.”

“For real?” asked Moonlight, surprised. “Dave, I had no idea you were even looking for a job! That’s great news!”

“Well, I didn’t want to say anything because I didn’t want to sound like I was copying off of you.”

“Aww, Dave, you didn’t have to do that just for me.”

She then let off a rather big yawn.

“I’m exhausted. Keeping up with Pinkie Pie’s not an easy task. I’m going to head for bed.”

“All right. Good night, Moonlight.”

“G’night!”

The cheery pegasus trotted off back home, while I went inside my own house. It was great that Moonlight had found herself a job in Ponyville. It was just surprising how similar our circumstances were: both of us working in sweet shops, starting on Monday, working with good friends. It was probably pure coincidence, of course, but it was uncanny, to say the least.

At all events, I went to get dinner started, after which I’d look over the assignment Ironmane had given me. The question was, would it be more or less time-consuming and exhausting as the last one had been? He had said he would give me harder stuff in the future. Would this be the start of it?

Speaking of Ironmane, he was a pony to consider in this holiday hubbub. Our relationship was strictly professional, of course, and hadn’t started off well at all, but that didn’t mean I shouldn’t find a way to express my gratitude for his services towards me. He would get a card, certainly, but if that didn’t turn out sufficient, what could one get for a stallion like him, so stiff and business-like?

Such a pony did merit careful consideration, lest he believe I was trying to insult him. Heck, even the princesses deserved some form of thanks for all that they had done for me, allowing me to even remain in Equestria being one of the top reasons. The question remained, what did you give to members of a royal court who more than likely already have it all?

“This is gonna be a long December,” I muttered to myself.

Thursday, December 1
> *Alternate POV* That Same Winter Evening
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

That evening, as the snow swirled outside, swept by the winter winds, Scootaloo and Dinky sat in their bedroom, reading a comic book adaptation of Daring Do and the Cloudcrown Tower. It was part of an ongoing series of adaptations, faithful to the original books, with certain changes here and there that only served to enhance what was already exciting, or helped fill in certain plotholes that may have arisen in the books. Scootaloo was an avid reader of the series, and had recently gotten Dinky interested.

Scootaloo was still giggling to herself about the trick they had played on Dave with the snowballs, and had even joked about the possibility of dropping one on his head from above, since she could fly now. However, Dinky seemed unusually preoccupied. Whenever Scootaloo looked at her, she appeared to be only half-listening, and kept losing focus as they read. Eventually, the elder sister stopped altogether. Dinky was looking at her with a little smile on her face.

“Dinks? You all right?”

“Yeah,” said Dinky. 

“You sure? You seem to keep spacing out a lot.”

“Yeah, Scoot, I’m fine. I was just thinking.”

“‘Bout what?”

“Lots of things.”

Dinky didn’t elaborate, earning her a raised eyebrow from Scootaloo.

“Things?”

“You know, just stuff,” Dinky said, shrugging.

“Uh-huh,” said Scootaloo, nonplussed.

“Like how awesome it is that you can fly.”

Now that Scootaloo could understand. She grinned.

“Heh, yeah. I’m still having a hard time getting over it myself.”

She flexed her little wings for emphasis.

“Oh, the things I can do with these babies,” she said to herself.

“And there’s something else I’ve been thinking about too,” said Dinky.

“What’s that?”

“Forts!”

“...Huh?”

“Forts! You know, like snow forts! Only, it’s too dark outside to go make one now. If Mama saw us outside this late, she might not be too happy. Silly, huh?”

“Nah, nah, Dinky, I get where you’re coming from,” said Scootaloo. “A snow fort sounds like an awesome idea. We could get Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle in on it. We could be…”

She paused for dramatic effect, then said, boldly,

“Cutie Mark Crusaders Fort Protectors!”

“Yeah! I like the sound of that!” said Dinky. “That’ll be cool!”

”But, we can get some practice in first,” said Scootaloo.

“Huh? But we can’t bring snow in here.”

“Blanket fort, you silly filly,” said Scootaloo, noogying her head. “We’ll make a blanket fort!”

“Ohh! That makes lots more sense!”

“Here, gimme a hoof with this.”

The two got off the bed, and Scootaloo dragged the blankets off the mattress. Then, per Scootaloo’s instructions, they set out the chairs in their room, throwing the blankets over it to make a tent-like shape, lining the inside with pillows.

“It’s a start, at any rate,” said Scootaloo. “Besides, with snow, you can do anything.”

Dinky didn’t answer. Instead, she crawled inside the fort and plunked herself down on the pillows. A devious grin was on her face.

“What’s with you, Dinks?” Scootaloo asked.

“Dinks? Who is Dinks?” asked Dinky, in a humorously poor imitation of Ahuizotl’s voice. “You dare speak to Dinkyzotl that way, Daring Scoot? You are already on the top of my ‘To Eliminate’ List, without you trying to take over my fortress!”

Comprehension finally dawned on Scootaloo, and she smiled as well, crouching in a stalking manner.

“If anypony does dares, Dinkyzotl, then it is me! Your fortress, and all of its booty, is mine!”

“Just try it, Daring, and I’ll kick your booty before you steal mine!”

As Scootaloo pounced, the room was soon filled with the sound of their giggles as they battled for supremacy over ‘Fort Dinkyzotl’.


***


Filthy Rich, like many parents, was not one to miss the signs of his child of having an off day, but the gloom Diamond Tiara was currently in was particularly unsettling to him. Ever since the end of the derby, she had withdrawn into her bedroom, refusing to come out or to speak to him. Even at breakfast the following day, she didn’t engage in the usual morning chit-chat they had before she went to school and he went to work. She just morosely ate her oatmeal and then went off to school. As soon as she got home, she went straight to her room again. Rich needed to talk to her.

That evening, he knocked on her door. No answer.

“Diamond, honey,” he called. “Can I come in?”

At first, there was still no answer, but eventually,

“Ok, Dad.”

Rich opened the door. There was his little girl on her bed, staring glumly at the opposite wall. He crossed over and sat down beside her.

“What’s the matter, darlin’?” he asked.

“You know what the problem is, Dad,” said Diamond Tiara, gloomily. “The Panther didn’t win.”

“Now, don’t make such a fuss about that, Diamond,” said Rich. “You did well enough. 3rd place out of 6 racers ain’t so bad.”

“But it doesn’t feel right,” Diamond Tiara huffed. “You paid good money for professionals to make my cart, and you even bought me a racing outfit to go with it. And what happens? It lost to a hoofmade cart driven by that bl-”

She stopped. She was about to say ‘blank flank’, something she’d gotten in trouble for when her father had caught wind of how she’d been using that term.

“Driven by Miss Hooves’ daughter,” she substituted.

“Hooves’ girl is that little pegasus, ain’t she?” asked Rich. “The one who saved ya when you crashed?”

“That’s her,” said Diamond Tiara.

“Is that what’s got you so glum?” asked Rich. “I know you kids ain’t exactly the best of friends, though I wish you would try to make a bit more of an effort.”

“It’s not that, Daddy,” said Diamond Tiara. “I just wish I hadn’t lost in a cart you put so much into. I feel like I let you down.”

Rich’s tired face softened at this, and he put a foreleg around his little girl, drawing her in close.

“You haven’t let me down, Diamond,” he said. “You did a fine job at the race. I’m still proud of you.”

Diamond Tiara’s glum expression slowly melted away, and she nestled contently against her father.

“That’s my girl,” Rich muttered. “Feel better?”

“A little, yeah.”

“Good. By the way, you know that human fellah who was part of the pit crew?”

“Mr. Dave? What about him?”

“Well, Hearth’s Warming Eve is right around the corner. If he’s got a hankering for some shopping, you could let him know that Barnyard Bargains’ll have what he needs and more.”

“I’ll try, Dad.”

“Good. You ready to come out now? I’ll get dinner started.”

“All right.”

Both got up from the bed and left the bedroom, Rich glad to see a smile back on his daughter’s face.


***


“Huh, sweet. Looks promising.”

Vinyl, having returned home from another night at the club, had rifled through her mailbox and found a party invitation among her usual junk fliers. It came as no surprise to find that it was from Pinkie Pie. Moreover, it was an invite where, for once, her DJ skills weren’t included as part of the package. Usually, party invites were a means of hiring her services, but this time, she was invited as a guest, to unwind and enjoy herself.

“The Pinkster better have some good entertainment lined up if she’s asking me to take five,” she muttered. Then, after a moment’s consideration, she said, “Wait, why am I talking to myself out in the cold? I oughta at least get inside first.”

So saying, she hurried into the warmth of her abode, the pulsations of her bass beats still throbbing through her veins. With a ‘phew!’, she took off her winter scarf and shades.

“Man, what a night. Is it me, or do the clubsters get crazier when the holidays roll around? Maybe I oughta beef up bouncer security to keep the nutties out. Bah, who am I kidding? They always find a way to slip in.”

Her stomach let out a loud gurgle at that instant.

“Ugh. I’m famished. What have I got to eat around here?”

She went over to the fridge and opened it up, finding, among half-empty soft drink and condiment bottles, a container with pasta inside. She popped the lid open and sniffed it.

“Eh, still smells ok.”

She tossed it into the microwave and poured herself a glass of grape soda as it heated up. Once it was finished, she plunked it into a bowl, took it and the soda with her to her couch, and plunked herself down, turning on the TV as she did so. It was the evening news that appeared.

“Tonight’s top story,” said the monotone-voiced anchor-stallion, “parasprite infestation in Hoofington. Pony biologists attempt to answer how they are able to survive the winter cold.”

“Boring,” groaned Vinyl, stuffing a forkful of pasta into her mouth. She added, after swallowing, “This killjoy can’t even make parasprites sound exciting. What a snooze-meister.”

She stuffed another chunk of pasta into her mouth.

“Eh, this stuff isn’t bad,” she said, “but it doesn’t taste as good as when Octy cooked it. How does she do it when I can’t? Must be some super-secret snob skill.”

She took a swig of grape soda, letting out a hearty belch after doing so. No Octavia to tell her to say ‘excuse me’ this time...but what was the fun in that? She actually chuckled to herself in imaging Octavia’s disgusted face saying ‘Vinyl! You have the manners of a goat!’

She chomped down on another forkful of pasta, but almost spat it back out.

“Ech, that part of it was still cold,” she groaned. “Hate when that happens.”

When the pasta was finally gone, and her belly sufficiently full, she put the empty bowl aside and stretched out on the couch, stretching so that her joints cracked noisily.

“Wonder if Dave’s doing ok, livin’ the bachelor life,” she said, putting a hoof across her stomach. “He’s moved out of Pinkie’s room, so he’s on his own. Heck, he’s been on his own for weeks. Seems like he’s taking care of himself, though. He had the bits to help those kids in the derby. Maybe I oughta swing by his place and see what it’s like.” She then added, with a slight laugh, “I could even give him some pointers on how a bachelor lives.”

“And tonight,” came the voice of a younger, fresher on the TV, “the testimony of a unicorn trying to fly with the use of ‘rocket horseshoes’!”

“Ooh, sweet!” said Vinyl, twisted herself over so she could see. “Now that’s the kinda news I like.”


***


Meanwhile, far off in the city of Baltimare, the skies were alight with dozens of fireworks. The streets were packed with cheering ponies, crowded around a single spot. Word had spread like wildfire over the past couple weeks that the Great and Powerful Trixie, more magically fabulous than ever, would be arriving and performing in front of the Bronco Seltzer Tower. This rumor was substantiated by the loud and triumphant arrival of the showmare’s caravan. News of her spectacular return to her old profession had intrigued the populace, making them anxious to see what she had in store for them.

As the preliminary fireworks began to die away, a cloud of smoke billowed from the stage, and there, in its center, appeared Trixie.

“Greetings, Baltimare!” she said, loud and proud. “You were wise not to stay at home, for tonight, you shall see, first-hoof, the new and improved magical majesty of the Grrrreat and Powerful Trrrixie!”

Another burst of fireworks lit up the evening sky, causing many to ‘ooh’ and ‘ahh’.

That was nothing, compared to what Trixie had up her sleeves.

She employed many of the tricks she had pulled off in Ponyville: making objects appear and disappear, transmogrifying them into other shapes, or making multiples from one single object; her magical neon, twisting into shapes and images in the sky, culminating with another ‘Neon Theater’ performance, this time of a hapless stallion trying to escape from a bomb with an ever-shortening fuse, only for it to keep popping up no matter what he did; and her enchanted balloons, glowing, morphing, and musical, awe-inspiring in the eyes of the audience. She even did her vocal alteration trick on another volunteer, who sang ‘Mustangian Rhapsody’ in a chipmunk voice, a metallic-toned voice, a French accent, monkey-like jibbering, and then all four at once, much to the amusement of the crowd.

“Thank you, thank you!” said Trixie. “And another round of applause for our gracious volunteer, Mr. Winchell. For the final act of the night, turn your attention to this basket of vegetables Trixie has placed on the stage.”

A basket full of gourds, carrots, and celery was sitting on the stage beside her. She fired her magic at it, and the vegetables rose up, twisting and turning in the air until the linked together to form a vaguely equine shape, with an upturned carrot for a head, a gourd for its body, and celery for its limbs. All at once, it began to perform a soft-shoe tap dance, followed by a traditional Stalliongrad dance, then some acrobatic ballet maneuvers, ending in a twirling pirouette that went faster and faster, until Trixie shot her magic both at it and the basket, sending more vegetables into the spin, creating a kind of mini-tornado. All eyes were fixed on this sight, until at last, the tornado dissolved, revealing more veggie-dancers standing in a row. As one, they bowed to the audience, which exploded into applause.

“Thank you!” shouted Trixie, bowing in turn. “You have all been a magnificent audience!  Trixie shall miss you when she leaves, Baltimare. Thank you and good night!”

With a whirl of her cape and a flash of smoke, Trixie and her vegetables disappeared from the stage, amid exclamations of admiration from her audience. Many swarmed to her caravan in the hopes of giving her flowers or gifts, or ask for autographs. Of course, Trixie was ready to receive her fans and well-wishers, the first of which was a little unicorn filly with a picture of the showmare clutched in her mouth. Trixie summoned a pen and wrote her name across it in elegant, bold cursive, dotting the ‘i’ with her cutie mark.

“There you are, little one,” she said, grandly.

“Thanks, Trixie!” said the filly. “I wanna be as great and powerful as you when I grow up!”

“Not an easy feat, my dear,” said Trixie, “but one that Trixie admires. She would be honored to see you on the stage someday.”

The filly’s eyes lit up with joy, and she scampered off to rejoin her parents, as Trixie began ‘magical multi-management’, using her magic to accept gifts and write out autographs at the same time. Even her setback hadn’t taken away this knack.

(Some days, you can’t help but love being great and powerful…)



***


The newly-arrived winter weather was doing nothing to dampen the diligence of Minister Ironmane. Holed up in his office, he continued to pore over his usual stack of official documents, deciding which were deemed acceptable to send to the princess for review. Among all of these papers, he was waiting for the one that would spell out a declaration of alliance between Equestria and the dragons, but, as of yet, none such article had appeared on his desk. 

Brutus still reported weekly of conditions in the diplomatic stalemate, as the draconic hierarchy were arguing over an agreeable gemstone minimum that would appeal to both sides. They had vehemently stated that Equestria’s dirt was a gem-breeding ground, so there should be no issue on the matter, but Princess Celestia had made it perfectly clear that a portion, and not all, of the gemstones in Equestria would be offered, and refused to budge on the maximum she had set. If there was one thing that tested even her vast patience, it was the overpowering greed of the dragons, but she persisted.

There came a knock at Ironmane’s door.

“Come in.”

Hermes, one of his pegasus sentinels, stepped in, his helmet in his hoof.

“Ah, Hermes. Any news?”

“Yes, Minister. First of all, the dragons are still trying to push for a higher gem maximum. They’re a tough lot to compromise with, sir.”

“No surprises there,” muttered Ironmane. “The longer this transpires, the more I begin to appreciate Brutus’ more amicable attitude. What about the ponies collecting from the Rambling Rock Ridge?” 

“Well, sir, you know how fertile in gems the soil is there, but the aggression of the Diamond Dogs is another thing entirely. Our scouts there only barely managed to evade their countermeasures.”

“I see. Anything else?”

“Er, yes, sir,” said Hermes, looking nervous. “But the thing is…”

“Yes? What is it? Speak.”

“It’s...merely a rumor, sir, but one that’s spreading from the ponies living in the North.”

“Yes?” Ironmane asked, leaning forward to listen.

“A rumor that...the Crystal Empire might be returning.”

A pony less stoic than Ironmane, but possessing the same knowledge of historical disasters, would have felt their heart slam in their ribcage. Ironmane, however, merely gave a start.

“What?! Are you certain?”

“According to citizens’ reports, they’ve been seeing ‘the image of a royal city’ appear and disappear several times. The curse may be lifting, Minister!”

“Are they certain it wasn’t just an illusion? Mirages are not uncommon in the Crystal Mountain region.”

“They contend that it may have been, but will keep you posted if anything proving otherwise arises.”

“Good. That’s all we can hope for for now.”

“Should I alert Princess Celestia, Minister?”

“Not yet. Let’s get confirmation first, but send a message to Princess Cadence.”

“And Shining Armor, sir?”

“That won’t be necessary, as he will see it when his wife receives it.”

“Yes, Minister.”

Hermes bowed and exited the office, while Ironmane rested his bearded chin on one hoof.

“Can it be true? It’s highly unlikely, but then again...if the Empire were to fall into the wrong hooves...I’ll have to alert the other delegates if this is more than a rumor.”

It is a remarkable thing to note just what matters can worry even the most steadfast of minds. This information, scant as it was, was enough to trouble Minister Ironmane, and that was saying something.

> Essays and Ice Skating
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I had been right in my convictions that this assignment would be much more tiring than the last. I started breezily enough, jotting down little reference notes or short sentences about each region and their cultural habits based on the seasons, but that was far as I got. Constantly referring to maps and the texts Ironmane had provided only got me so far with information I could understand or call upon. All I had were notes on the climates and locations of the countries referred to in the text, yet that was obviously not going to be enough.The hours ticked away, and I was still at a loss for what to put for anything else. If Ironmane was giving me more difficult assignments, he’d want that to reflect in the answers I had. What I had so far could be considered basic, but it didn’t look like it could make for a final product. It was like I was back in school all over again.

Thursday, December 1


***


The next morning, I tried to focus my mind on what else to write, hoping that a good night’s sleep would have helped, but I only had the feeling of an iron clamp squeezing my brain. It was if I was taking an open-book test, but the notes I had were insufficient, making me wish I had studied. I didn’t want to think that Ironmane purposely left me with a lack of information, but what was he expecting me to get from what he sent me? Was he expecting me to be some whiz on geography? What I wouldn’t have given for another sip of Zecora’s mental booster potion, but was it even safe to take it more than once? Would my head explode if I overdosed?

This brain-wracking frenzy went on for the rest of the day, even as I tried to cool off in the hopes of inspiration coming to me. Moonlight didn’t come over to conclude the rest of The Staff of Star Swirl, so she must have been occupied with other matters. As evening drew on, with still no better results, I made up my mind.

“I need Twilight.”

I bundled up what I had written, geared up, and braved the cold in a walk to the library. The streets were empty, and rightfully so. Luckily, when I arrived, Twilight was still awake, though Spike had fallen asleep, snoring with obnoxious loudness for such a little guy. I could hear him all the way from the doorway. 

“What brings you out here on such a night?” Twilight asked.

“Homework, Twi,” I said, “something I have no doubt you’re an expert on. How big are you on geography?”

Twilight’s eyes lit up with the keen spark I noticed every time an idea hit her.

“Cultural studies from Minister Ironmane?” she asked, wisely.

“Bingo. I’ve been beating my brains about it since yesterday, and you’re the best pony I can turn to for this. Will you help me?”

My tone and expression were pathetic enough from standing out in the cold, bundled as I was, but the additional pleading must have been what hit home with her. She smiled kindly and said,

“Of course I will, Dave. Come in, before you catch your death of cold.”

Gratefully, I stepped inside, setting my stuff down on the nearby table. A crackling fire was already burning away in the fireplace.

Wait a minute, what?

“Is this safe?” I questioned, warily. “A fireplace in a giant tree?”

“It is if you’ve added a special fireproof magical insulation to the infrastructure, like I have,” said Twilight. “It’s imperative when you have a dragon for an assistant.”

I was starting to think there was nothing Equestrian magic couldn’t do.

“Wow. Pretty clever.”

“Thanks. Now, let’s have a look here.”

As I removed my coat and boots, Twilight flipped through the pages I had already jotted notes down upon. She also flipped through the referential pages Ironmane had instructed me to use.

“Hmm…” she muttered. “There are plenty of details here, and you’ve got them all down. What’s the issue?”

“The issue is I don’t know how much more he’d want. He said he was going to start challenging me, so I have this paranoid thought that he might be expecting me to go a little further than the material already given to me.”

“You’re not alone with that fear, my friend,” Twilight muttered. “I remember essays where I double-checked, triple-checked to make sure I didn’t miss anything during the double-check, and then quadruple-checked the triple-check.”

Sheesh. OCD much?

“Well, if it’s extra tidbits to spice up your essay that you’re wanting, I’ve got a few books that can aid us.”

So saying, her horn flared up, and several thick tomes and rolled-up maps floated over to the table, piling themselves neatly by the workspace.

“Come, have a seat,” she said, sitting down.

I hastened to obey and, opening the first book, Twilight began.


***


I may have been hopeful of Twilight’s assistance, but what I hadn’t counted on was her strict agenda towards perfect work. I suppose I couldn’t blame her too much, seeing as she was technically a student, as well as the protege of the princess of the entire land, but her attention to exact detail was slowly grating on my nerves. If I vocalized even one incorrect assumption, or was too vague, she would swoop down on me like a hawk and hound me until I had found the right answer or elaborated. 

“No, no, Dave. You have to remember to mention neighboring communities as well. You can’t talk about Appleloosa without putting in a few words about Dodge Junction. It may be smaller, but it’s still an Earth pony settlement, and the only patch of arid land in southern Equestria to allow for cherry harvesting.”

“It is there in the notes, Dave. The snowfalls from Cloudsdale were wild and unpredictable, but became calmer and more controllable after Snowdrop crafted the first snow star. It never hurts to elaborate, but make sure it doesn’t go on its own tangent.”

Eventually, I lost my patience with this nagging.

“For Pete’s sake, Twi!” I snapped. “When I asked for your help, I wasn’t asking for you to go full-teacher on me! Can’t you ease up?”

Big mistake.

Twilight grabbed me by the shoulders and, looking me straight in the eye, said, in a voice of deadly calm,

“There is no ‘easing up’ when it comes to turning in paperwork to the royal court, Dave. This isn’t kindergarten or grade school, where the teacher might let you slip by with, at best, a C+ for good effort; it’s the royal family. You’re a part of that court too you know, even if you’re only a stipendiary. If you want to keep your position and the respect of your fellow members, you can’t just turn in an entry-level essay and expect to get a passing score. Minister Ironmane is testing how well you can process information on other species, and you need to show that you can. It’s all essential to international relations.”

It was scary how threatening she had become in a mere instant, especially considering the fact that she wasn’t even yelling at me. However, she continued, in a gentler tone,

“If it feels like I’m being hard on you, it’s only because I want you to do well. You can understand that, right?”

The cold look on her face had dissolved into the kind expression I had always seen in Twilight. Numbly, I nodded, and she smiled.

“Good. I’ll try not to be as strict. Shall we continue?”

“Yeah, let’s.”

Twilight did go easier on me by way of nitpicking, but she was still quick to point out any errors I was about to make, so it certainly wasn’t easy. It was near midnight by the time I was finally done. My back and wrist were killing me, and my eyes were aching with tiredness.

“‘...As Zebrafica’s geography is composed of deserts, savannas, grasslands, and jungles, even in the winter, the days remain warm, while the nights are cool. This climate does not detract from cultural celebrations or festivities, as they celebrate their own variant of Hearth’s Warming, emphasizing the unity of the Zebrafican nations during times of hardship and reinvigorating feelings of friendship and goodwill. This is a trait shared with, and previously described for, the inhabitants of Saddle Arabia.’”

“Very good, Dave. That’s much better.”

“Ugh…” was all I could say.

“You did very well,” said Twilight, putting a hoof to my shoulder.

“Not without you,” I muttered, letting off a huge yawn.

“That’s all right,” she said. “There’s no shame in tutoring if the work is done properly. Now, it’s very late, and I don’t want to send you out into the cold at such an hour, so why don’t you take the spare bed?”

“Aw, now, Twi, I can’t impose-”

“You won’t be imposing at all,” she said. “Now come along.”

Levitating the candle in front of her, she headed up the stairs, while I followed, my limbs feeling like lead. She led me to the bedroom, where Spike was sound asleep in his basket, still snoring. Twilight directed me to the other bed, and I settled onto it, not even caring that I didn’t have pajamas to change into. When you’re awake far past your usual bedtime, you can fall asleep under any conditions.

“Thanks for this, Twi,” I muttered.

“You’re welcome,” said Twilight, kindly. “Good night.”

“Night.”

Twilight set the candle down on her bedside cabinet, settled under her own covers, and winked the light out with her magic. In a matter of seconds, I had already drifted off, the soft mattress feeling heavenly to my aching body.

Friday, December 2


***


I awoke the next morning to see Owlowiscious staring me right in the face.

“Gah!” I shouted, shifting back.

The owl didn’t even stir, despite my spaz-out.

“Shouldn’t you be asleep, since it’s daytime?” I asked.

“Hoo.”

“That’s what I thought.”

“Ah! Good morning!”

Both of us looked in the direction of the stairs. Twilight had been ascending, but stopped when she spotted us.

“Morning, Twi. I was just asking Owlowiscious here why he’s not asleep.”

“I keep telling him he needs his rest, but he’s an industrious little guy, aren’t you, Owlowiscious?”

The owl flapped his wings and alighted onto her back by way of answer.

“What time is it?” I asked.

“8:30. Spike’s making breakfast right now. I hope you like pancakes.”

“You kidding? I love pancakes, especially with peanut butter.”

“You and Spike both,” said Twilight, with a playful roll of the eyes. “Come down when you’re ready.”

She walked off downstairs and, after taking a few minutes to fully awaken and get up, I joined her. Down in the kitchen, Spike had already set the table for three, or, technically, four, since a bowl full of pet food had been set up at one corner, with Owlowiscious’ perch set there as a chair. I had to admire that, as the owl did seem like part of the family. The dragon was at the stove, wearing a chef’s hat and flipping pancakes in a sizzling frying pan.

“Morning, Spike,” I said, as I entered.

“Morning, Dave!” he replied. “Glad you could make it. You haven’t lived until you’ve tried Spike’s Fabulous Flapjacks!”

“They already smell great,” I said. “What’s the secret?”

“A little extra something to spice ‘em up,” said Spike. “Watch this.”

He flipped the current pancake into the air and, while it was still hanging, breathed a light stream of flames at it. The pancake turned a darker shade of brown and flopped back onto the pan, wherein it was flipped onto a plate of completed pancakes.

“Gives it a nice smoky flavor,” he said. “Neat, huh?”

“Very,” I said, though still surprised at how he’d pulled it off so easily.

Once the pancakes were ready, Spike set three for each plate, with a side of strawberries. He put blueberry syrup on Twilight’s and slathered his and mine with peanut butter before distributing the plates around the table. As we sat down and tucked in, I couldn’t help noting that the dragon-fire did add a nice extra kick.

“So, what have you been up to, beyond your assignment, Dave?” Twilight asked.

“Well, earning myself a part-time job at Bon Bon’s, for one thing,” I said.

“How nice! Hoping to earn a few extra bits?”

“Yeah. Well, at least bits I can use a little more freely. The stipend I receive is more for household expenses and groceries, if you know what I mean.”

“Of course. I think that’s a very smart idea for you.”

All of a sudden, a thought struck me, and I smacked my forehead with my empty hand.

“Oh, shoot! I forgot!”

“What?”

“Ironmane-”

“Minister Ironmane, Dave,” Twilight corrected.

“Er, sorry. Minister Ironmane comes by to deliver my weekly dues on Monday afternoons! I won’t be around to receive them when I start work!”

“Don’t worry,” said Twilight. “Mail your essay to him, along with a letter explaining your change of schedule. I’m sure you two will work something out.”

The momentary pang of dread ebbed away at her words.

“Yeah. Yeah, that would do the trick. Thanks, Twi.”

Twilight smiled.

“I kinda figured you’d get a job at Sugarcube Corner,” said Spike, “considering you used to live there.”

“I had thought about it, but wasn’t sure if they were hiring,” I said. “Besides, Moonlight’s gotten a job there already.”

“Moonlight’s going to be working at Sugarcube Corner?” Twilight asked.

“She told me a couple nights ago. Pinkie took her job hunting, and that was apparently the result.”

“So the both of you are going to be working in Ponyville sweet shops?” asked Spike. “That’s a pretty weird coincidence.”

“Tell me about it. I’m just hoping she’s up to it.”

“Oh, I’m sure she’ll be fine,” said Twilight. “After all, if Pinkie Pie’s working with her, she’ll give her pointers. Besides, she seems pretty clever for a mare her age.”

“Yeah, that’s true. She cleans better than anypony I know, besides.”

“Trust me,” Spike muttered, leaning over to whisper to me, “you haven’t seen Twilight on weekends.”

“I can hear you, Spike,” said Twilight, pointedly.

Breakfast continued quietly after that, Spike, trying to look innocent.


***


After thanking Twilight for her tutoring and hospitality, and Spike for breakfast, I left the library, making for home so that I could get a letter for Ironmane written. As I neared my house, however, I spied a rather unusual sight.

Scootaloo and Dinky were packing up snow on one side of their yard, patting it into shape to create walls. Dinky would go to fetch more snow while Scootaloo continued to mold it.

“What’s up, girls?” I called.

The two looked up.

“Hi, Dave!” said Dinky. “We’re making a fort!”

Ohh, a snow fort. That should have been obvious.

“Ahh, now I get it. Just for fun?”

“Or in case a random snowball fight takes us by surprise,” said Scootaloo.

“We already had yeti countermeasures,” said Dinky. “Now we just have to speed up construction!”

Yeti countermeasures? The information Ironmane sent me about creatures in Equestria said that yetis did exist, but only in the caves of the Crystal Mountains in the north. Either one was wandering around, lost, or Dinky was just pretending. I would rather have settled for the latter, considering how territorial their bio said they were..

“How often does that happen around here?” I asked.

“More than you think,” said Scootaloo, grimly. “At school, snowball fights are serious business.”

“So we’re getting ahead of them with an early fort!” said Dinky. “We’ll call it Fort Dinkaloo!”

“Er, Dinks,” said Scootaloo, looking embarrassed at such a name, “we talked about this. It’s Fort Hooves. That way,” she added, puffing her chest out, “we’re defending not only our honor, but the honor of Hooveses everywhere!”

“Ohh, ok,” said Dinky.

“Good call,” I said. “You know what would make your fort even better?”

“What?” asked Scootaloo.

“A flag.”

“Ooh! Good idea! Dinky, add this to our To-Do List: make flag for Fort Hooves.”

“All righty!”

“Is your mom home, kids?” I asked. “I have something that’ll need to be mailed to Canterlot.”

“She’s off on the morning mail run,” said Scootaloo. “You might be able to catch her, though.”

“All right, I’ll see what I can do. Good luck on the fort.”

“Thanks! Just wait. It’s gonna be the best in all of Ponyville!”

“A super-fort!” said Dinky.

Leaving them to their own devices, I went inside my house and, taking a fresh piece of paper, wrote out the following message:

“Dear Minister,
Here is my geography essay, in full. I hope it is to your liking and is within the guidelines you set.
There is one thing that has come up that bears mentioning. I have recently acquired a part-time job here in Ponyville, with the consequence being that I will not be able to meet with you on Mondays at our usual time. Perhaps something on Sunday would better benefit the both of us, as I would not want you to be waiting out in the cold for me.
Sincerely,
David."

I packed up the essay and the letter into their own envelopes, addressing them to Ironmane in Canterlot, and set out immediately to find Derpy, while Scootaloo was telling Dinky to ‘buff up the west side’ of the fort.


***


Luckily, I located Derpy as she was going through Main Street, dressed in a thick blue coat along with her mailbag.

“Hi, Dave!” she said. “How are you?”

“Pretty good. You?”

“Oh, I’m doing fine. The kids are busy with a snow fort, and Sparkler’s trying to keep up with ponies ordering or purchasing jewelry for Hearth’s Warming. I’m going to be especially swamped on the Eve, getting gifts delivered.”

“But you’re not the only pony who delivers in Ponyville, are you?”

“Of course not, but you can imagine how hectic it gets when even one of us has a lot to handle.”

Now there was a grim thought.

“So, what can I do for you?” Derpy asked.

“I need this delivered to Canterlot, ASAP,” I said, handing her my mail for Ironmane. “Whoever handles deliveries from Ponyville to Canterlot, can you hand it off to them?”

“Sure thing!” said Derpy. “That’s Silver Feather’s territory. He should still be at the post office. Rest assured he’ll have it sent soon.”

“Great! You’re a life-saver, Derpy.”

“Flatterer,” said Derpy, grinning. “Well, I’d better see to this, then. I’ll see you later, Dave.”

“You bet. See ya, Derpy.”

The mailmare flitted off to the post office, while I made off for home. I had barely gone three steps, however, before I saw Pinkie bounce past ahead of me. She was wearing her coat again, but was also carrying a set of ice skates, holding the laces in her teeth. Wondering where she could be off to, I called,

“Hey, Pinkie!”

However, she was already disappearing into the distance, and didn’t stop to respond, meaning she must not have heard me. I decided to just follow her, then.


***


I tracked my pink pony pal to a frozen pond sitting in a snowy field, where a large, gnarled tree stood looming over it. In summer weather, I wagered this was a popular swimming spot. It was a shame I hadn’t found out about it until now, because it looked like a nice place for a picnic, or to just sit and read in the sun.

On approaching the edge of the lake, Pinkie set her skates down, slipped her hooves into them, and moved onto the ice. From there...well, how can I describe it?

For someone as exuberant and hyperactive as Pinkie, she seemed to shed all of that craziness as she began to skate. She glided across the frozen surface with grace belying her silly, happy-go-lucky nature. Her eyes were closed in blissful concentration as she skated, first on two hooves, then on four. She spun and twirled with the skill of a ballerina, her frizzy mane and tail whipping about with her movements. Once, she even backflipped and landed on her forehooves, sliding along the length of the lake on them. She hadn’t been kidding when she said she was skating as far back as a filly.

At last she came to a stop on her hind legs, her forelegs held lightly aloft, a little smile on her face. She seemed completely at peace.

“How was that, Davie?” she asked, aloud.

I gave a start from where I stood. She knew I was here?

“How did you know I’d followed you?” I asked. “You didn’t stop when I called.”

“My left ear twitched as I was walking here,” she said, getting down on all fours. “That means I’m being followed.”

“But why didn’t you say anything?”

“I figured you wanted to surprise me, and nothing’s worse than a ruined surprise.”

That...actually made sense.

“Pinkie, you were amazing!” I said. “I know you said you could skate, but I never imagined it was anything like what you just did. That was...wow!”

Pinkie beamed.

“Thanks, Davie. I love winter, especially when I get to ice skate like this.”

“Does anypony else ice skate?”

“Oh, sure! Fluttershy and Rarity are fantastic at it! Applejack doesn’t like it too much, and I’ve never seen Rainbow Dash try it. Twilight still needs some practice.”

Just then, she let out an excited gasp.

“Hey! Why don’t you give it a try?”

“Huh? Me?” I asked, starting to feel nervous.

“Yeah! It’s fun!”

“Oh, no-no-no,” I said, waving my hands in front of me. “I’m not coordinated at all for that kind of thing. I’ve got two left feet.”

“So? I do too. All ponies do.”

“That’s not what I meant. I mean I’ve got no grace or balance whatsoever.”

“Aw, c’mon, Davie,” urged Pinkie. “Skating’s easy-peasy, puddin’ in the freezie.”

Pudding in the what?

“Besides,” I said, ignoring that little bit of what-the-heck, “I don’t have any skates.”

“Oh ye of little faith,” said Pinkie, slyly.

She skated over to the old tree hanging over the lake and dug around in its sizeable knothole. To my utter astonishment, she pulled out a set of ice skates, much bigger than her own.

“Where did those come from?!” I asked, baffled.

“I’ve got ice skates stashed all over Ponyville,” said Pinkie, matter-of-factly. “In case of ice skate emergencies.”

...But of course.

“Here, try them on,” said Pinkie, skating over and handing them to me.

I looked them over. To my disconcertion, they looked to be the exact size of my boots, so I couldn’t use ‘they won’t fit me’ as an excuse. How in the name of Tex Avery had she had the knowhow to make such an oddly-specific contingency, planting size-Dave skates at this very spot? Well, I didn’t want to hurt her feelings, so I might as well give it a shot.

There was a bare spot in the snow by the lake, so I sat there, pulled off my boots, and slipped on the skates. They were actually pretty comfortable. I heaved myself into a standing position, with the blades of the skates on the ice...and I immediately realized what a bad idea this was.

I hadn’t even moved, and already I felt myself losing balance. I waved my arms wildly, trying to keep myself aloft as my legs slipped this way and that.

“Whoa! Gah! Er...I don’t think I like this...Whoop!”

My feet slipped out from beneath me, and I fell flat on my rear on the ice. Because that was exactly what I needed: a hard fall on my keister on a freezing surface. Pinkie helped me up.

“You ok, Davie?”

“Just fine,” I muttered through gritted teeth.

“You’ll get the hang of it,” she encouraged. “It’s just like walking.”

I seriously doubted that, but I started again just to humor her. My legs were still wobbling, but not as harshly as before. I tried a basic left-right-left, and this seemed to go well for a little bit.

“See, Davie? You can do it!” said Pinkie.

However, as I turned around, I felt my feet slipping again, and my legs began to flail wildly this way and that. It was like walking, all right: walking across a recently Swiffered floor!

My heart was hammering in my chest. Each wobble, each tilt to the side, made me feel like I was going to crash face-first into the ice below. I didn’t fall this time, but what happened was even worse than that: I went speeding across the lake, straight toward the tree!

“Oh, crud!” I yelled, throwing my hands out to block it off.

With a rough, painful jolt, I was pushed away from the tree by my outstretched arms, but now I was going backwards, leaning far back as I did so. I flailed my arms to try and keep balanced, while Pinkie watched with an anxious face.

“Yipe!”

One of my feet slipped, putting me on only one skate as I continued to skid around, still tilting dangerously this way and that. This must have been how Bambi felt when he went skating for the first time with Thumper…

At last, I was able to get my other leg down, but another swerve sent me shooting forwards again. My feet gave way, and I landed back on my rump, but I wasn’t stopping this time, and I was heading straight for Pinkie!

“Uh oh!” Pinkie yelped.

“Look out!” I shouted.

*WHAM!*

I slammed right into Pinkie, and we went shooting across the frozen surface. Her mane blocked my face, and I pushed it away, only to see us heading straight for the tree again.

“AUUUGH!!”

“YAAAAAH!!”

*WHUMP!*

All things considered, that collision could have gone way worse. Our slide into the tree had jammed Pinkie’s head into the knothole, her own halt stopping me from slamming into the tree trunk crotch-first. That would have been very unpleasant.

When my equilibrium was restored, I noticed Pinkie in front of me, with her head stuck in the knothole.

“Oh, shoot! Hang on, Pinkie!”

I braced my feet against the trunk, wrapped my arms around Pinkie’s waist, and pushed against the tree as hard as I could. With a sudden surge, Pinkie came free, and we skidded backwards across the lake, this time ending up, backs first, in a snow drift. Everything had gone white and very cold real fast, but a shake from Pinkie sent the snow flying away.

“Brr!” she said. “That was wild!”

“You’re telling me,” I muttered. “Sorry, Pinkie, but ice skating just isn’t for me.”

“It’s ok, Davie,” said Pinkie, tilting her head to gaze up at me. “Twilight was just as crash-tastic as you were, so nopony’s perfect at it the first time around.”

From that angle, she looked oddly adorable looking up at me like that, like a curious puppy. I smiled down at her.

“Thanks, Pinkie.”

Pinkie smiled back, and the two of us made our way back to the bare patch, where my boots were waiting. Being back on the snow was like someone returning to the ground after an unbearable length of time in the air; it had never felt so wonderful.

“There’s something I wanted to know, Davie,” said Pinkie, as I slipped my boots back on and she took her skates off.

“Yeah?”

“Was Lyra telling the truth when she said you’d be working at Bon Bon’s?”

“Ah, right, that. Yes, she was. It’s for the winter, mind, and whenever else Bon Bon wants help.”

“So Moonlight’s working at Sugarcube Corner, while you’re working at Bon Bon’s,” said Pinkie.

“Crazy, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, but I was kinda hoping you’d have wanted to work at the Corner too,” Pinkie said, pouting. “Do you not like it there anymore?”

“Pinkie!” I said, surprised. “What on Earth would give you that idea? Of course I still like Sugarcube Corner. Bon Bon just had a job offer at exactly the time I needed it, so I took advantage of it. It’s nothing personal.”

But Pinkie just broke into a giggle.

“I know, silly-billy!” she said. “I was just teasing you!”

She noogied the top of my head. I chuckled and ruffled her mane in turn.

“Whaddya say we make a competition of it?” asked Pinkie.

“A competition?”

“Uh-huh! Whoever sells the most by Hearth’s Warming wins!”

“Wins what?”

Pinkie tapped her chin with her hoof in thought.

“Hmm...Oh! I know! If you win, a fresh batch of our best cupcakes, free! If I win, a jumbo bag of self-serve candy, free!”

“Those sound like fair terms,” I said, “though it’d be up to Bon Bon about that free candy thing. You’ll have to take it up with her.”

“Okey-dokey-lokey! The competition will start when you start work. Deal?”

She held out her hoof.

“Deal!” I said, gripping it and shaking it.

“May the best pony- Oopsie! I mean, best seller win.”

“You bet.”

“Well, I’d better get back to bakin’. Mrs. Cake said she’d show me her recipe for Hearth’s Warming Chocolate-filled Heart Cake.”

“Sounds delicious. I’ll see you later, then, Pinkie.”

“Yep! Bye, Davie!”

She grabbed in a quick, instantaneous goodbye hug, then bounced off for Ponyville, her skates dangling from her mouth. I, for my part, trudged home, my pants wet from snow and ice, my legs throbbing, and my pulse still jumping.

Still, I had to admit, it had been kinda fun, even if it was something I probably didn’t want to try again anytime soon.

Saturday, December 3
> First Day of Work
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sunday was the last day before I started work at Bon Bon’s. It also happened to be the day that Moonlight came over, requesting that we finish The Staff of Star Swirl. I, for my part, did not decline such an idea. It was an appropriately chilly day, perfect for staying indoors, and I had restocked my pantry with hot cocoa, along with other groceries intended for hot meals. So, with blankets bundled around ourselves, and my young pegasus friend nestled up at my side, we proceeded from where we had left off: Ahuizotl claiming the Staff of Star Swirl for himself, forcing Daring and Dowser to witness his ascension to demigod-hood.

Midway through the second half of the book, as we read through the pegasus explorer and her unicorn sidekick trying to come up with a plan to take the staff away from Ahuizotl, a knock at the door interrupted us.

“Just as well,” I said, setting the book down. “My throat’s getting tired again. We’ll take a break and then resume.”

“All right,” said Moonlight.

I opened the door to find Ironmane at the doorstep, swathed in a longer cape than he usually wore, with a higher collar, fastened with an intricate silver brooch.

“Minister Ironmane!” I said, surprised. “This is abrupt of you.”

“Is it?” asked Ironmane, raising an eyebrow. “It was my understanding that you wished to change the date of my visits to Sundays. And is today not Sunday?”

“Well, yes,” I consented, not appreciating him treating this like a childish mistake on my part. “I just wasn’t expecting you so soon. I didn’t want to disrupt any of your-”

“You are disrupting nothing, David,” said Ironmane, crisply. “I merely adjusted my schedule to accommodate this change of events. I am fully prepared to change our meetings to Sunday afternoons in light of this. Speaking of, I congratulate you on acquiring a job in Ponyville.”

“Thank you, sir. I’m hoping to use the funds for more recreational or leisure purposes, as I’m appropriating what I earn for my stipend for home matters.”

“I see. That is certainly wise of you, especially in light of such a festive time of year. One tends to, how do I put this...momentarily forget the extent of their sums.” 

“I, er, agree, sir,” I said.

(Does he think I’m careless enough to splurge without thought? Wouldn’t surprise me.)

“At any rate, here are your week’s earnings.”

He levitated the usual sack of bits into my hands.

“Thank you for understanding, sir.”

“And I must thank you for giving me notice,” said Ironmane. “Given how busy your life in Ponyville seems to be, I wouldn’t have been surprised if the matter completely slipped your mind.”

(Just can’t let a quip slide, can you?)

“By the by, I took the liberty of reviewing your geographical composition,” said Ironmane. “Very good, I must say. Quite thorough”

“Thank you, Minister,” I said, “but I can’t take all the credit. Twilight assisted me with some of the finer details.”

“Ah, as I figured,” said Ironmane, a slight smile on his face. “I showed it to Princess Celestia, and she herself said it had ‘the marks of Twilight Sparkle’ in it.”

“I just hope you’re not disappointed that I needed assistance on this, sir,” I said, humbly.

“I? No. Princess Celestia herself told me it was likely you would go to her top student if you got stumped. She was not incorrect in her assumptions. And besides, we are a council, are we not? It is part of our duties to collaborate.”

Well, Twilight was right, then: there is no shame in being tutored.

“Thank you, sir.”

“If that is all, David, I shall be on my way. Until next week.”

“Until next week, Minister.”

With a whirl of his cape, Ironmane trudged off through the snow. On the opposite side, at the Hooves’ house, Scootaloo and Dinky were still working on Fort Hooves, but this time joined by Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle. They had stuck a crude flag on a stick on the inside, bearing a pegasus wing and a unicorn horn, the word ‘Hooves’ written beneath. The walls were at least three feet tall now, with peepholes cut into them, probably to lob snowballs through, like ones soldiers would use for muskets. The four Crusaders waved to me, and I waved back before heading inside, where Moonlight had settled back on the couch, an empty drinking glass on the dining room table.

“Who was at the door?” she asked.

“Minister Ironmane, the stallion who comes by every week to deliver my dues for being part of the foreign affairs council.”

“Oh. I don’t think I’ve ever met him. What’s he like?”

“I used to think he was kind of a jerk, really seemed to have it out for me, but now, I feel like he’s just not much of a ‘pony-stallion’, if I’m using the right term.”

“Not very social?”

“Yeah. Preferring to stay immersed in his work, patriotic to the extreme.”

“Wow. He must really be proud of what he does.”

“I’ll say. So, ready to continue?”

“Yep!” said Moonlight.

“All right, just gimme a sec. That was probably the most I’ve talked to Ironmane in a while, and my pipes were already dry when I started…”


***


“...Whoa,” said Moonlight.

“Yeah. Whoa,” I echoed.

“That was, beyond any doubt, the most epic story in the series yet! There is absolutely no way they can top something like this!”

“No kidding! I mean, they freely admitted that the Staff was the most powerful magical artifact known to ponykind! The author would have to be an even greater literary genius than they already are to go beyond something like that!”

I glanced at the cover of the book. There, at the bottom, like every other installment, was written, in silver ink, ‘by A.K. Yearling’.

“I wonder who this A.K. Yearling is,” I mused.

“Probably a bigwig writer in Canterlot,” said Moonlight.

“One of these days,” I vowed, “I’m gonna meet them and let them know just how much I enjoy the series. And I’ll take you and Rainbow Dash with me,” I added, putting an arm around Moonlight’s shoulders.

“Ooh! Is that a promise?” Moonlight asked, eagerly.

“A Pinkie Promise,” I said, then added, while going through the motions, “Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”

Moonlight smiled and nuzzled my cheek gratefully.

“Forever…”

Both of us sprang apart, looking about wildly. That had sounded like...like Pinkie. But how? And why did it sound so creepy? It was like a ghost, something in the very walls. Was I just imagining it? But then, if that was the case, why did Moonlight react as well?

It took a few moments for the shock of the moment to pass away, but finally, I cleared my throat and said,

“I’ll have to check with Twilight if there’s more after this. Like I said, it’d be difficult to top something as world-shaking as what we just finished.”

“Definitely,” said Moonlight. “I’d better be heading home then. Big day for both of us tomorrow, right?”

“You bet! Tomorrow, we step out into the world of employment.”

“Good night, Dave, and thanks again for having me.”

“You’re welcome, Moonlight. Good night, and good luck.”

“You too.”

I walked Moonlight to the door and saw her out, making sure she was inside her own home before locking up for the night. Even though my day technically started at 10, I wanted to be there early just to get oriented to my new position. In time, hopefully, I’d be finding gifts for my pals with a pocket full of an honest week’s earnings.

Sunday, December 4


***


The next morning, with no snow in the air but plenty on the ground, I geared up and headed for Bon Bon’s. The snow fort in the Hooves yard looked even bigger now, the walls slick and shiny, and the flag waving in the chilly breeze. Something told me a mini-war was going to erupt between the local foals at ‘Fort Hooves’.

When I arrived at the door, Bon Bon and Lyra were already trotting over from the opposite direction.

“Good morning, ladies!” I called.

“Good morning, Dave,” said Bon Bon.

“Greetings, my young apprentice!” said Lyra, in a humorously reverent voice.

“Pardon me?” I asked.

Lyra came up to me, putting her forehooves on my shoulders and looking me straight in the eye.

“You have come to learn the art of working in a candy shop, have you not?”

“It’s an art?” I asked, nonplussed.

“And it is only natural,” Lyra went on, dramatically, as she rested her elbow on my shoulder and gestured with her other foreleg, “for the new, inexperienced arrivals to latch onto the wise teachings of those who have travelled down that road before. Do not be afraid to ask questions of me, Padomino, for I have naught to give but my own wisdom.”

What in the name of heaven above was she talking about? And what was a ‘Padomino’?

“I knew it was a bad idea to let you see that movie,” Bon Bon said, wearily. “Anyway, Dave, ready to get started?”

“Yes, ma’am!”

“Great! Lyra?”

“Way ahead of ya, Bonnie.”

Lyra got off of me and, using her magic, unlocked the door, allowing the three of us to enter. The cozy warmth of the interior was very welcoming. The mares hung up their hats and scarves, so I did the same with my gear, and Bon Bon, heading to the back momentarily, returned with the apron she had picked out for me.

“Do I really have to wear it?” I asked, reluctantly.

“A clean worker is a happy worker,” said Bon Bon. “You don’t want to go through the day with chocolate stains on your clothes, do you?”

“Well, I suppose not,” I consented.

“It helps when you’ve got coats like we do,” said Lyra. “Then you can just lick it off, like a cat.”

“The way you eat, Lyra, you’re more like a raccoon,” said Bon Bon, dryly. “And I prefer to take baths, like normal ponies.”

“You saying I’ve got rabies?” Lyra asked, defensively.

“No, though that would explain your extremely erratic behavior.”

“Who needs explanations? I’m Lyra Heartstrings. Case closed.”

While they were bantering, I put on the apron, resigning myself to having to wear it. Of course I understood cooks and bakers all wore aprons to keep themselves protected from stains, but it just felt silly on me, when I wasn’t even taking part in the baking process.

“Well, Dave, since you’re suited up,” said Bon Bon, “let me give you a brief run-down of what your daily duties shall be. Have a seat.”

I sat down in one of the chairs, facing her attentively.

“Mainly, I’m going to ask you to help me with some counter work. That means greeting customers, taking and filling out orders, keeping the inventory organized, etc. Are you able to handle that?”

“Yes, ma’am. I’ve had experience with greeting and organizing before.”

“Excellent. Then we should have nothing to worry about. Step up behind the counter and I’ll give you an example when our first customer arrives. Lyra, you can get started as well.”

“Aye-aye, chief.”

I followed Bon Bon behind the counter. There, I could see the rows upon rows of sweets in their individual receptacles and containers, with a hefty stock of bags for takeout purchases. Along the opposite wall were self-serve bins full of mini chocolates, gummy candies, jawbreakers, packs of gum, etc. Augustus Gloop would have devoured the entire display in about 5 minutes, give or take.

10 o’clock rolled around, and, right on the dot, the door opened.

“Welcome to Bon Bon’s Bon Bons!” said Bon Bon, cheerily. “How can we satisfy your sweet tooth?”

“Hello, everypony!”

It was Pinkie!

“Well, hello, Pinkie Pie!” said Bon Bon. “What can we do for you?”

Pinkie was about to speak, when she spotted me behind the counter.

“Aha!” she said. “There you are, Davie! If it’s all the same with Bon Bon, I’d like you to take my order today.”

I looked at Bon Bon to see if she would approve.

“If Dave doesn’t mind,” she said, “I have no problems with it.” She then turned to me and said, “Just follow what she orders, and don’t be nervous.”

Pinkie trotted up to me, grinning from ear to ear.

“I’m your first customer, Davie! How sweet is that? Hee-hee! ‘Sweet’. Get it? Because we’re in a candy store!”

“Heh, yeah,” I said, though I felt like the pun was pretty bad. “Listen, Pinkie, doesn’t you buying from here kind of undermine-”

But Pinkie had already wandered off. She was grabbing a bag and stuffing it with various candies from the self-serve bins.

“-the point of our bet?” I trailed off, realizing she wasn’t paying attention.

Eventually, Pinkie returned with a bag stuffed to overflowing and hefted it onto the counter.

“Ring me up, Davie!” she said.

Carefully, I eased it onto the little scale sitting by the cash register. The numbers rolled wildly until finally stopping at 5 pounds.

“Hey, Bon Bon, how much does the self-serve cost?” I asked the candy mare.

“4 bits a pound,” she said.

“So that makes 20 bits,” I told Pinkie.

“Not a problem!” said Pinkie, brightly, and she tossed a bag of bits onto the counter.

(Where does everypony keep getting these bit bags?)

“Expecting company or something, Pinkie?” I asked, sealing the bag as best I could and sliding it over to her.

“I’m gonna share this with Moonlight,” she said. “A little snack in between customers. And before you ask, the Cakes are supervising her.”

“I know it’s kind of early to ask, but is she doing ok?”

“Yeah! She organized all of our cookbooks, alphabetically and by type, and even made her first sale before I left: some corn cakes for Mr. Waddle!”

“Neat!” I said. “Well, tell her I said hi.”

“I will. See ya later, Davie!”

Pinkie grabbed the bag in her teeth and trotted out the door, Lyra opening it for her with her magic.

“Not bad at all, Dave,” said Bon Bon. “Your first sale on the job. How did it feel?”

“Pretty good. Then again, it was Pinkie. I’ve always felt comfortable around her.”

“Well, just you wait, my human friend,” said Bon Bon. “The day’s only just begun.”

“We’ve only just begun to live,” crooned Lyra, soulfully.

“Lyra,” Bon Bon interrupted, wearily.

“What?” asked Lyra, innocently.


***


From there, the day progressed with similar results. Ponies came in, one of us greeted them with the shop’s trademark greeting (yes, they had to say it every time somepony came in), and I took their orders. They either helped themselves from the self-serve candy bags, and all I had to do was ring up their purchases by the pound, or they wanted a specific piece of chocolate or candy from the counter, which I duly brought forth. Several had special preferences which they called their ‘usual’, like Golden Harvest’s favorite taffy or Berry Punch’s gummy worms. Those were orders Lyra knew, so she handled them. Those ponies whom I was more familiar with expressed surprise and delight at seeing me behind the counter, and told me I was doing a fine job when their orders were rung up.

The one visit that didn’t go as well as that was Rainbow Dash. She was glad to see me, sure, but she took one look at my apron and burst into a fit of laughter. All I could do was stand there and wait until she had laughed herself stupid, even going so far as to gasp out ‘so goofy’, before she could finally get a hold of herself and make her own self-serve candy bag. She was still giggling as I rung it up, as she paid for it, and even as she said goodbye. My masculinity was as riddled with perforations as a sieve, but it was in the interest of on-the-job hygiene, so I had to man up to that.

We had a healthy flow of customers until around noon, when we took a break for lunch. Bon Bon had to take care of some paperwork in her office, so she’d eat there, and Lyra and I sat across from each other on one of the tables. I’d packed myself a peanut butter sandwich with some fruit, while Lyra was having what looked like egg salad, along with a chocolate bar Bon Bon had brought out before the break, which needed Lyra’s approval. The way Bon Bon had given to her was like an office executive saying ‘I need this on my desk by 5’.

“So, Lyra, what exactly is it like eating candy all day? Not that I’m saying it’s not important to the business.”

“Nah, I know what you meant, dude,” said Lyra, casually. “Bonnie’s something of a candy scientist. That head of hers is bursting with lots of candy ideas, but she lets me test them out, make sure the balance is just right: taste, texture, size, all that. She’s a little bit of a health nut, doesn’t wanna ruin her figure. Don’t get me wrong, though, she loves making sweets. She’s just more...cautious about indulging herself. I say ‘heck with it’. Candy’s candy.”

She emphasized this with a big bite out of the chocolate bar.

“Ooh!” she exclaimed. “Caramel and marshmallow? Bonnie, you sly girl.”

“I know you’re not worried about getting fat, but what about your teeth? All of that sugar can’t be good for you.”

“That’s why I’m Minuette’s favorite patient,” said Lyra. “One of her talents as a unicorn is a teeth-whitening spell, which works wonders. Of course I brush every day, but when I pop by once a month, she makes sure they sparkle. She’s trying to find an anti-cavity spell to put on ponies’ teeth, but she hasn’t gotten it quite right yet.”

“So you just eat candy all day during work, without fear of cavities?”

“And play my lyre,” said Lyra, levitating her instrument to emphasize. “Customers who stick around like to hear me play.”

“Don’t you want to be a musician?” I asked. “I figured you’d be playing in symphony halls up in Canterlot.”

“I gave it a try,” said Lyra, “but I didn’t make the cut. It’s still my talent, but I suppose I’m just not meant to play in the big leagues. Still, I’m not complaining. My friends still like it.”

“I certainly think you play nicely,” I said, frankly.

“Aww, thanks,” said Lyra, smiling. “How about you? You play any instruments?”

“No. I’ve always wanted to play the piano, though. Just never got around to learning.”

“I think I can help you with that,” said Lyra, knowingly.

“Really?”

“Uh-huh. I could give you lessons.”

“But your instrument’s the lyre.”

“Doesn’t mean I don’t know about other instruments,” said Lyra. “It just means it’s my speciality. I’m no Frederic Horseshoepin, but I’m decent.”

“When could we arrange it?”

“We’ll have to work that out,” said Lyra, thoughtfully. “Tuesday’s bowling night, Saturdays are shorter, and Sunday off...Maybe Saturday evenings or Sunday afternoons?”

“I like the sound of that. Thanks, Lyra.”

“Anytime, pal,” she said, grinning.

The door suddenly opened, and I jumped up.

“I’ll take care of this, Lyra,” I said. “I’m pretty much finished anyway.”

“Go get ‘em, Mr. Initiative,” said Lyra, proudly.

I went behind the counter, leaning over to see that the ponies who just entered were Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon.

“Hello, girls!” I said, in my best ‘so excited to see the customer’ voice. “Welcome to Bon Bon’s Bon Bons. How may I satisfy your sweet tooth?”

“Hello, Mr. Dave,” said Silver Spoon, brightly.

“Hi, Mr. Dave,” said Diamond Tiara, in a more subdued tone, though not exactly melancholy.

“Is there anything new this month?” Silver Spoon asked.

“Why, yes,” I said. “Just ask Lyra, our store’s taste-tester.”

Lyra looked up, wiping her face.

“Oh yeah! The new Caramallow Delight,” she said, holding up her half-eaten bar. “Part chocolate, part caramel, part marshmallow, all delicious!”

“That sounds tasty!” said Diamond Tiara. “We’ll take two.”

Thankfully, even though it was a taste-test product, Bon Bon still had had the forethought to leave a stack of them in stock, so I grabbed two and rung them up on the register.

“That’ll be 8 bits,” I said.

The girls each handed up 4, and I gave them the chocolate.

“Thanks, Mr. Dave!” they said, together.

“You’re welcome, girls. Have a nice day.”

“Go on ahead, Silver Spoon,” said Diamond Tiara. “I just need a couple minutes.”

“All right.”

Silver Spoon headed out the door, and Diamond Tiara turned to me.

“Hearth’s Warming is coming up fast, Mr. Dave,” she said.

“Oh, trust me, I know.”

“Do you know where you’re going to shop?”

“Why? Do you know a place?”

Diamond Tiara smiled.

“As a matter of fact, I do. Barnyard Bargains! It’s a chain my dad owns, with outlets all across Equestria! You can buy furniture, gardening equipment, groceries, and all kinds of knickknacks there. It’s perfect for a holiday shopping experience.”

“Is it? Well, if it’s as good as you say, I may have to check it out. Where is it?”

“In Ponyville’s shopping district. You can’t miss it: it’s designed like a big barn.”

“Huh. Funny how I never noticed before. Still, how come you’re telling me this?”

“I just figured you’d like to know, seeing as you didn’t live in Ponyville until a few months ago. Dad hasn’t seen you there, so he figured you may not have known about it until now.”

“Well, thanks. I’ll certainly pay the place a visit.”

Diamond Tiara smiled again, and took her leave. She really wasn’t such a bad kid, if you kept her away from topics concerning the Crusaders.

“Was that kid just a walking advertisement?” asked Lyra, sardonically. “Talk about self-promotion. Still, Barnyard Bargains does have whatever you need. Once I, *ahem*, accidentally lost Bonnie’s mane-curlers, and she made me buy new ones there.”

“Are you trying to tell me it really was an accident, or was it on purpose?”

“Let’s just say that whatever the case, it did her a favor. Those things were hideous.”

“What’s that you’re saying about me, Lyra?” Bon Bon asked, poking her head out of her office.

“Nothing,” said Lyra, innocently.

Bon Bon gave her a narrow look and disappeared back inside her office. How the heck did Lyra survive mouthing off about her like that, even if it was in good fun?


***


At last, the day wound down to a close around 6 o’clock. The customer flow began to die down by about 5:30, but Bon Bon gave the shop a little more time for stragglers. When none came, she declared the shop closed, and we got the place cleaned up for departure, Lyra running a broom across the floor while I organized the stuff behind the counter as best I could, then giving the tables a rub-down. When all was satisfactory to Bon Bon, she gave the ok, and we locked up the shop.

“Well, Dave,” she said, “you did very well on your first day. Good job.”

“Thanks, Bon Bon. After that preliminary, I think I can handle more like it.”

“Wonderful. We’ll see you tomorrow, then. Good night.”

“Good night, Bon Bon. Good night, Lyra.”

“Night, Dave!”

The two ponies trudged off through the snow, while I made my way home. I had just entered the area, however, when I saw quite a startling sight.

Fort Hooves was under attack!

The air was thick with snowballs heading over the wall and through the peepholes cut into it. I could see Snips, Snails, Truffle Shuffle, and Button Mash on the outside of the wall, while the Crusaders no doubt were going nuts with their own barrage on the inside, but theirs was growing less frequent. It looked like they were losing.

What was I to do? Should I really step in and help them? It would be quite a mismatch for the other side. Then again, the Crusaders were my friends, and I couldn’t just abandon them when they might need me.

I’d made up my mind.

As quietly as I could, I snuck around behind my house, making sure they were too focused on the attack to notice me, though honestly, who could fail to notice a 6-foot human skulking around like he was trying to play Metal Gear? Speaking of, I could hear Button Mash say,

“This is just like the castle defender level in ‘Revenge of the Humgonians’! Just keep mashing ‘A’ and never let up on your arrows!”

“But these are snowballs, not arrows,” said Snails.

“Same difference, Snails,” said Button Mash.

“Take five, guys,” said Snips. “We need to restock our ammo.”

Just the break I was looking for. While they were focused on making more snowballs, I made my way to the back of the wall and clambered over it, using a peephole as a foothold. The girls were huddled around a pile of snowballs, their backs to the wall. Apple Bloom let out a gasp upon seeing me, which made the others look up.

“Dave!” she said. “How did you-?”

“No time to explain, girls,” I said. “For today, at least, I can help you protect Fort Hooves.”

“Yay!” squealed Dinky.

“Shh!” said Scootaloo. “Don’t let the enemy suspect anything.” She then said to me, “Dave, think you can scare them off with some size-Dave snowballs? We need a bit of time to get the catapult ready.”

“As if you have to ask, my little friend,” I said, grinning. “Stand back.”

The girls stepped aside as I began scooping and forming my own snowballs, at least twice as big as theirs. They watched in awe and barely-contained anticipation of what was to come. Well, I should say Sweetie Belle and Dinky did. Apple Bloom and Scootaloo were making final preparations on a miniature catapult. Where the heck did these kids find the time to make this stuff?

When I had made a sizeable pile, I heard Snips shout,

“Ok, boys! Ready...aim...”

That was it. Snowballs under my arm, I stood up, my head and shoulders just managing to breach the top. The colts stopped where they were, snowballs in their hooves, to look up at me, their faces perfect as the cover image for an ‘Uh oh’ moment.

“Hi, boys,” I said, casually. “Mind if I cut in?”

I chucked one of my snowballs over the wall, where it landed between them with a loud splat, making them flinch back.

“Now, Crusaders!” I shouted. “Fire!”

And the volley began anew. With fresh battle cries, the Crusaders lobbed their snowballs through the peepholes while I tossed mine over the wall. Added to this were some of my cannonballs flung from the catapult, adding a fresh taste to the barrage. The colts tried to fight back, but the renewed vigor took them aback, especially when one struck Truffle Shuffle and sent him reeling dizzily. Snips, who seemed to be leading the charge, looked like he recognized a lost cause when he saw it.

“Retreat!” he shouted.

He, Snails, Button Mash, and Truffle Shuffle all hurried off, abandoning their snowballs and beating a hasty retreat.

“Viva Fort Hooves!” I crowed to the frosty air. “Vivan los Cutie Mark Crusaders!”

The fillies cheered, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Dinky hugging me around the legs while Scootaloo traded a double high-five with me in the air.

“Thanks, Dave,” she said. “You’ll go down in Crusader history as the guy who saved Fort Hooves in its darkest hour.”

“Literally,” said Sweetie Belle. “It’s dusk already.”

“That’s not what I...never mind.”

“That should keep them away for a while,” I said, “but I can’t be around to defend the fort all the time. Still, I’m glad I could help out.”

“Is the ‘Battle of Fort Hooves’ finally won?” came a voice from the door.

We turned to see Sparkler standing in the front door, an amused smile on her face. Something in that smile told me that if I hadn’t shown up, she would have been the reinforcements.

“Because it’s time for General Scootaloo and Sergeant Dinky to come in for dinner.”

“We won, Sparkly!” said Dinky. “Thanks to Dynamo Dave!”

“Dynamo?” I asked, puzzled.

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle wiped at a section of the wall, revealing a wooden half-oval inserted into it. They pushed it down, making a doorway big enough for me to step through by ducking.

“Lucky they never found our secret entrance,” said Sweetie Belle.

(How long did that take to make?)

The Crusaders bid each other good night, and Scootaloo and Dinky went inside while Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and I left out the secret entrance.

“You came in the knick of time, Dave,” said Apple Bloom. “We were finishin’ workin’ on the fort when the boys attacked. We barely had enough time to get some snowballs ready to fight back.”

“I figured you kids needed some help. Besides, I couldn’t leave my fellow Crusaders to such a battle in good conscience. What a way to end my first day of work. Well, good night, girls.”

“G’night!”

“Night!”

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle went their separate ways, and I headed to my own home. I stopped at the door to look at the flag of Fort Hooves, still waving despite the furious onslaught the fort had endured. I gave it a quick salute before heading inside. Silly, maybe, but I was a Crusader, after all.

Monday, December 5
> Unexpected Meetings
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tuesday was the start of our official bowling league. I’d had a clumsy start the first time, but I was eager to do better this time. Since Lyra and Bon Bon were both part of the mare’s team, they were just as excited, if not more so, than I was. 

As for the work that day, it went much the same as yesterday. Now that I had gotten a handle on what to expect from customers, I was prepared to take their orders and ring up their self-serve purchases, when Lyra wasn’t taking care of specific customers. I didn’t mind that she did this, really. It felt like a certain kind of territoriality, a knack with certain customers. I was the new guy, so who was I to butt into that? At any rate, I didn’t see Pinkie back again, so that candy she bought must not have run out yet, though it was only a matter of time.

I still had heard no sign of Moonlight, not even this morning, but I supposed she was just getting into her job. I was happy for her, of course. It gave her something to do out in the community while earning some bits for herself. Still, it had only been her first day, so it was too early to tell how long this would last, though I hoped it would work out for the best.

I did get a welcome visit from Twilight that day. She, like my other friends, was surprised and delighted to see me behind the counter, and ordered a bag of rock candy for Spike.

“He’s gotten a taste for it lately,” she explained, as I filled up her order. “It’s hard enough to be like eating gems, but sweet enough to still be candy.”

“Have you ever asked him what the distinction is in eating gems?” I asked.

“Of course. He offered for me to try one, but I politely declined. He said sapphires are ‘cool and refreshing’, emeralds are ‘sweet and spicy’, and rubies have a ‘smoky, barbecued’ flavor.”

“Wow,” I said. “The next time I see Brutus, I might have to ask for his own opinion. Has Princess Celestia told you anything about how the dragon business is going? I forgot to ask Minister Ironmane when he was here last time.”

“Yes, but it’s not good news,” said Twilight, sadly. “She told me that Brutus is doing everything he can for a fair exchange, but he’s not the only dragon leader in the wastelands, and not all of them think like he does.”

“But some at least do?”

“Yeah. It’s some comfort, anyway.”

“Yeah. You know, there was something I wanted to ask you, but what was it?...Oh, yeah! Moonlight and I finished The Staff of Star Swirl. Is there anything after?”

Twilight’s smile returned.

“Certainly! You didn’t think that’d be the end, did you?”

“I was hoping not, even after what happened. That ‘A.K. Yearling’ is a genius! Who is Yearling, by the way?”

But Twilight didn’t answer. Instead, her eyes flicked to the bag of rock candy I was filling, and I realized what was going on.

“Gah! Look at me, prattling away and keeping you waiting. Sorry about that.”

“Oh, it’s no trouble. Anyway, the next book is Daring Do and the Batpony King.”

“...Batpony? What’s that?”

“They’re part of Princess Luna’s elite guard,” said Twilight. “They’re like pegasi with bat wings. All anypony really knows about them is that they live in mountain caves and are extremely loyal to Princess Luna. Actually,” she added, thoughtfully, “there’s not much known about them. They’re very mysterious, despite the lore behind them.”

“Ohh, is that what you call them? That sounds like what Minister Ironmane’s catalogue of Equestrian creatures said about, what were they...’terrabees’?” 

“Pteruppis?” Twilight suggested.

“Yeah, that. Personally, I like ‘batpony’ better. It’s easier on the memory.”

Twilight giggled.

“Well, I’ll pick up the book next chance I get. Here’s your rock candy, Twi. That’ll be 6 bits.”

Twilight levitated 6 bits onto the counter and accepted the bag.

“Thank you!” she said. “You’re doing a great job here, Dave.”

“Thanks, Twi. Have a great day, and say hi to Spike for me!”

“I will. Bye!”

The bag levitated at her side, Twilight stepped out of the shop. The wind was whistling louder than earlier, and the snow seemed to be falling faster. Lyra seemed to have noticed as well.

“Storm on the way,” she said. “We’ll have to be careful heading to the alley tonight, if it doesn’t ease up. It’s supposed to get really bad tonight.”

“Why do the weather ponies even decide to make bad weather like that, if they control how it goes?”

“Gotta balance the good with the bad,” said Lyra, with a shrug. “Can’t just have perfect weather all year round, as nice as that would be.”

“I suppose not.”

“Besides,” Lyra went on, “we gotta get the bad storms out of the way so that we can have a peaceful Hearth’s Warming: sitting by the fireplace, sipping hot cocoa, unwrapping presents.”

She sighed blissfully.

“It’s times like that I wish I wasn’t single, that I had somepony to share it with.”

“You have Bon Bon, don’t you?” I asked. Then, realizing the implications that could lead to, I hurriedly added, “Not that I meant-”

But Lyra laughed.

“Chill out, man, I know what you meant. Yeah, Bonnie’s great company, and I love the gal like a sister. It’s just not a comforting thought that we might become spinsters together.”

“Who are you calling a spinster, Lyra?” came Bon Bon’s sharp voice through the door.

“I wasn’t calling you one, sheesh!” retorted Lyra. “Do you have to eavesdrop on everything I say?”

“The way you talk, there’s no need for eavesdropping!”

(They may both be single, but they sure bicker like an old married couple…)


***


That evening, we locked up as usual, but before we went to the alley, Lyra and Bon Bon stopped at their home to grab their bowling balls. I opted to wait outside for them, since they wouldn’t be long. The snow was falling thicker, and the wind was whipping up even stronger than before. I don’t even know how we managed it, once they returned with their bowling ball bags, but we made it to the alley in one piece. The only thing I was wondering then was whether the other bowlers had made it.

It was an intense relief to get inside the building, and as we made our way to the alleys we used last time, I saw that the others had made it after all, and were standing by, waiting for us. There was Big Mac, Magnum, Caramel, Pearl, Cheerilee, and Screwball. However, something was off: Meadow Song wasn’t there.

In his place was a stallion I swore I had seen before. He had a light brown coat, a messy brown mane, a green tie around his neck, and a cutie mark resembling an hourglass, like Minuette. He had a genial, intelligent face to him, his eyes twinkling boyishly. Now where had I seen him?

Of course! He was the guy who gave the last donation to our derby jar, the one whom Twilight said was browsing the history section looking for comedies. Come to think of it, I felt like I’d seen him several times before, but had never been introduced.

“There they are!” boomed Magnum. “Made it through the blizzard, eh, kids?”

“Like a little snow’s gonna stop us!” said Lyra. “Let’s do this!”

Screwball waved to me from where she stood beside Cheerliee, and I waved back.  Bon Bon and Lyra joined the mares while I went to grab a ball before heading to the stallions. This time, I made sure not to drop it on my feet.

“Evenin’, Dave,” said Big Mac. “You ready?”

“Yes, sir!” I said. “Where’s Meadow Song?”

“Poor fellah caught a bad cold over the weekend,” said Big Mac. “Granny’s made him some of her specialty soup to help him get out of it.”

“Oh. Poor guy.”

“So Doc here is takin’ his place,” said Big Mac, indicating the newcomer.

“Doc?” I asked.

“It’s just ‘the Doctor’, actually,” said the stallion, in a cultured, English-accented voice, though it sounded like there was a hint of laughter behind it as well. “‘Doc’. That’s a good one. How do you do?” he went on, holding out his hoof.

“It’s nice to meet you,” I said, shaking it. “My name’s Dave.”

“Dave, Dave,” he muttered, as if seeing if he liked the name or not. “Short for David?”

“Yes.”

“Mm. I like that name. Can’t exactly say why, but it’s got a nice ring to it. You’re not from around here, are you?”

“No. Let’s say I’m from...someplace else. It’s less complicated that way.”

“Ah. Pity,” said the Doctor. “I’ve never been a fan of abridged history, but different strokes for different folks, I suppose.”

“You’re the stallion who donated to the derby fund, aren’t you?”

“Yes, I am!” he said, delighted. “When Miss Sparkle told me about what it was for, I put in a generous amount. I’ve always loved tinkering side projects, and I wanted to see where it went. I will say I was thrilled to see how the race turned out, even if your cart did end up in 2nd place. It was such a nice-looking little craft, too, and Scootaloo...Heh. She’s one ace of a driver.”

“I know,” I said, grinning. “Do you know her?”

“Hey, Doctor!” called Caramel from the lane table. “You’re up!”

“Coming!” called the Doctor, before saying to me, “Sorry, Dave, but busy night, you know?”

“Oh, yeah, sure.”

The Doctor went to take his turn. 

(He seems like a nice guy, especially if he felt obligated to helping out a children’s cart race that much. Still, did he know it was for us from the start? Does he know the Crusaders? He named Scootaloo specifically. Then again, with the kind of stuff they pull, they must be famous...or is that infamous?)

“Hey, Dave! Yer up next!”

“Er, coming!” I said, and I hurried to take my place at the lane.

(Stay focused, Dave. Stay focused…)

I balanced my ball between my hands, took a deep breath, and lobbed it. It curved to the right and took down 4 pins. Retrieving my ball, I hurled it again, but only managed to take down 2 more.

“Not bad, kiddo, not bad,” said Magnum, slapping my shoulder as I returned.

“Ah, tough luck, old boy,” said the Doctor. “Those balls are pretty tough to manage, eh?” He added, in a secretive, excited tone, “But that’s where the challenge is, isn’t it? Do you use your hooves, or your mouth, or do you just give it a good kick? Anything goes!”

What was with this stallion? He was so...giddy.

“What you need, my friend, is a ball with finger holes. That might help put you on some even ground.”

“Do you study humans or something?” I asked. “Bowling balls back home have holes for just that reason.”

“It’s one of many things I try to study. I dabble. Here and there, this and that. I’ve got my hooves in a lot of strange things. No offense.”

“Er, none taken?”

“You, though,” he went on. “I hear the princess hoof-picked you to be a diplomat.”

“Yes, she did, actually,” I said, modestly. “I only hope she made the right decision. I’m pretty much a nobody back home. I’m not the world’s biggest expert, or the wisest man who ever lived. That’s people like Solomon or Benjamin Franklin, and they’ve been long dead. I’m only 20.”

“Now, what kind of talk is that?” asked the Doctor, soberly. “Are you trying to call yourself unimportant?”

“Well, not exactly, but-”

“Good,” he cut in, “because I’ve been around this block and quite a number more in my life, and in all of that time, I have never met anyone who wasn’t important.”

“Really?”

“Scout’s honor,” he said, “even if I’m not technically a scout myself.”

“Excuse me, Doctor,” came Cheerilee’s voice, “but I wanted to talk to you about your planned visit to the school this Friday.”

The Doctor sighed and put a hoof to his temple.

“Alas, my escapades demand my presence here, there, and everywhere. Cheerilee’s a dear friend, you see. Keeps a school full of bright young pupils, and she has me come in to speak to them from time to time. History, science, English, the works. This may take me all night, in between turns, so I hope you understand.”

“Uh, yeah, sure. I understand. It was nice getting to know you, Doctor.”

The Doctor beamed.

“Same to you, and thanks for being a good neighbor. You’re very close to us. Well, to the lanes, my man! Allons-y!”

And he went to over to where Cheerilee was sitting, after having taken her turn, and the two began a long discussion that did indeed last most of the night, in between their turns to bowl. This pony really was rather interesting.

Wait a minute...He was my neighbor? And he mentioned ‘us’. What did he mean by that?

I was jerked out of my thoughts by a tap at my side. Looking down, I saw Screwball standing beside me. She smiled when I noticed her.

“Hey, you,” I said, genially. “Glad to see you too.”

Her eyes briefly shifted to Cheerilee and the Doctor, then back to me.

“Oh? Do you know him?”

She shook her head.

“Ah. Well, he seems like a nice guy, right?”

She nodded.

“I can’t wait to see what kind of throws you pull off tonight,” I said. “I’ll admit, as...unorthodox as they look, they were quite fun to see last time.”

Screwball smiled, making a noise like a chew toy being squeezed.

“Hey, Screwball!” called Pearl. “It’s your turn, honey!”

Screwball jumped, making an ‘Oh!’ face and trotting off briskly. I wondered how long it would be before she was ready to speak, if that time was ever gonna come at all. Her pantomimes were kind of cute, but was a simple yes or no too much to ask for?


***


It turned out to be another great night at the alley. Despite Screwball’s amazing bowling prowess, which nopony else came close to matching (if anypony could match making their ball bounce between bumper-less gutters like a pinball), the stallions managed to scrape together a lead in the end by only 3 pins. Thank the Lord for powerhouses like Big Macintosh and Magnum; they really saved our bacon. Heck, even the Doctor knew how to bowl like a champ. I wasn’t terrible, but seeing how they bowled with hooves made me a tad envious.

“That’s the game, fellahs!” said Big Mac. “Good goin’, everypony!”

“We nearly had you this time,” said Cheerilee, “but you really surprised us at the end.”

“But next month,” said Pearl, “we’re gonna show no mercy!”

“Ah’d be ashamed if ya did,” said Big Mac, coolly.

“Well, everyone,” said Magnum, “as a kick-off to the official bowling league, I say we pulled it off with flying colors!”

“Definitely!” said Caramel.

“Undoubtedly!” said the Doctor.

“Unquestionably,” I supplied, trying to stay within the trend.

“So we’ll see you all next time!” said Lyra.

“As for myself,” said the Doctor, “since I’m certain poor Meadow Song will make a full recovery, I may or may not continue in the league runnings. That all depends. I’d hate to throw the equality of player numbers out of whack.”

“Well, it was good of you to join us, Doc,” said Big Macintosh.

“Heehee!” the Doctor chuckled. “‘Doc’. I still love that.”

So the two teams dispersed, heading their separate ways home, but warning each other to take heed of the blizzard outside. Sure enough, when we stepped out, the wind had really picked up, and the snow was falling in flaky torrents. My glasses began to fog up immediately, and it was an effort to walk at all.

“ARE YOU GOING TO BE OK, DAVE?” Bon Bon shouted over the wind.

“DON’T WORRY ABOUT ME, BON BON!” I shouted back. “I’LL BE ALL RIGHT!”

“OK, IF YOU’RE SURE! SEE YOU TOMORROW!”

“SAME TO YOU!”

We trudged on our respective ways home, my arm raised to shield my face, the wind nearly whipping my hood off. Now this was one thing I didn’t miss about winters back in my old home…

I still don’t know how I did it, but I managed to make my way, step by step, from the alley to home. Through the swirling snow, I saw two things ahead of me. One was that the blizzard had knocked down the flag at Fort Hooves. I doubted anypony would have launched an attack on it today anyway.

The second was an odd blurb of something standing in front my door. It wasn’t until I got up close to it that it spoke, making me jump despite the loud wind.

It was Vinyl Scratch!

“Y-You f-finally c-c-came b-back, d-d-dude,” she stammered. “T-Thank Celestia…”

“Vinyl?!” I shouted. “What in the name of Verne are you doing out here?!”

“C-Can we t-talk about it ins-s-side?” she asked. “I c-can’t feel my h-h-horn…”

“Y-Yeah, of course!”

I unlocked the door as quickly as I could, and Vinyl and I went inside. As soon as I shut the door, the unicorn let out a loud exclamation of relief. She shed her winter jacket, then shook the snow from her mane like a dog shakes off water.

“Phew!” she said. “Thanks, bro. I thought my tail was gonna freeze off out there.”

“Mind telling me what you were doing outside my house in a raging blizzard?” I asked.

“I came to see ya, bud!” said Vinyl. “Thought I’d drop by and see how you were hanging in there, living the bachelor’s life.”

“Really? You wanted to visit me? Boy, now I feel kinda bad for not doing the same for you.”

“Aw, sheesh, man, I’m not trying to guilt-trip you,” said Vinyl, rearing up and putting a foreleg around my shoulders. “My place isn’t in the best state for guests, anyway. Heck, it’s only ‘presentable’ when Octy drops by. She can be such a priss, but what can ya do?”

“How long were you waiting out there?”

“Probably 15-20 minutes.”

Aw, man. I left her waiting out there for that long?

“Well, I’m sorry I wasn’t here to let you in. I was out bowling.”

“It’s cool,” said Vinyl, casually. Then, she snickered and said, “Cool. Get it? Cuz it’s winter! And Octy says I’m not funny.”

“Heh, yeah, right,” I said. “So, can I get you anything? I headed to the alley right after work, and didn’t really grab anything to eat there.”

“I’m good with whatever you can dish up,” said Vinyl, “long as you don’t mind.”

“Not at all. I like having guests, even if I’m not the most efficient when it comes to cleaning.”

“Hey, neither am I,” said Vinyl, “like I said.”

“Well, please, make yourself at home while I get something started.”

While I went to the kitchen, Vinyl plunked herself down on the couch, stretching herself until I heard her joints crack.

“Do you like tomato soup?” I asked, pulling two cans of it out of the pantry. “It’ll do you some good after the chill you just endured.”

“Yeah, I’m good with that,” said Vinyl. “It’s been crazy lately, bro. Pinks invited me to a party and didn’t even need me to DJ.”

“Really?” I asked. “How was it?”

“Pretty decent,” said Vinyl. “P-squared always throws the best parties. The entertainment wasn’t too bad, but it definitely was lacking in the wub department.”

“P-squared?” I asked, confused.

“Yeah, Pinkie Pie. Double P. The Pinkster.”

“How many nicknames do you have for her? Or anypony for that matter?”

“My brain’s an arsenal of creativity, D-bro,” said Vinyl, proudly. “You could write a book on my thoughts!”

(Oh, no doubt about that, but what kind of book remains to be seen.)

Eventually, the soup was ready to be served, so I ladled two bowls out, bringing them into the living room and handing one to Vinyl, who sat up.

“Thanks, man,” she said, and before I could stop her, she gripped the bowl in both hooves and took a swig from it as if it were a drinking glass.

“V-Vinyl!” I spluttered. “That’s piping hot!”

Vinyl brought the bowl down, letting out a satisfied sigh, followed by an obnoxious belch.

“Good stuff,” she said. “Really hit the spot.”

I just stared at her, stunned.

“What?” she asked, innocently.

“...Nothing,” I finally said, and started on my own soup, while Vinyl took sips from what remained of hers from time to time.


***


With the soup in her stomach, Vinyl seemed to become much more relaxed. She settled herself cozily on the couch beside me, and even removed her sunglasses, setting them on the coffee table.

“You’ve got some sweet digs, man,” she said. “Doesn’t it ever get lonely here?”

“Inside, maybe,” I said, “but I’m never really alone. I’ve got my neighbors: Moonlight and the Hooves family.”

“Wish I had neighbors like that,” said Vinyl. “Mine just bang on the walls or the floor, telling me to keep the noise down. I’ve gotta work on my music, though! What do they expect me to do?”

“You live in an apartment? With all the shows you do, you must make enough to afford your own house.”

“I’m a simple gal,” said Vinyl. “I don’t need much: just a roof over my head, three squares a day, a warm bed, and my equipment.”

“But are you happy?” I asked.

Vinyl gave me a weird look.

“What kind of question is that?” she asked. “Are you trying to get all existential on me? Of course I’m happy! I’ve got the greatest job in the world, lots of fans, plenty of friends, why shouldn’t I be?”

Guess that was kind of a stupid thing to ask.

“Ok, ok, sorry. I shouldn’t have asked,” I said.

“Forget about it,” said Vinyl. “Like I said, I never stay mad for long, and you’re too nice a guy to get mad at.”

“You think so?” I asked.

“Sure.”

“Well, thanks, Vinyl. I think you’re pretty nice, too.”

Vinyl looked slightly surprised, but then slyly smirked.

“What?” I asked.

“Are you flirting with me?” she asked.

(What?!)

“W-What?! Why would you think that?”

“You said I was ‘pretty’ nice, and not just nice,” she said, batting her eyelashes. “It was that one little adjective.”

“Vinyl, I never- I didn’t-” I blustered.

But then Vinyl burst into a hearty guffaw.

“Oh Celestia!” she gasped, clasping both hooves to her belly. “You should have seen the look on your face! It was priceless!”

I felt dumbstruck. Was she just screwing with me?

“That wasn’t funny!” I snapped.

“You’re right, it wasn’t,” said Vinyl, calmly, before adding, in another laugh-riddled tone, “it was hysterical!”

She threw herself against the back of the couch, kicking her back legs and slamming the armrest with one of her forelegs, cackling loud and long. I saw no reason to laugh, myself. Sure, I thought some Ponyville ponies were cute or attractive in their own right, but I never felt the urge to flirt with one of them. I was spoken for! ...Back home, anyway.

When Vinyl had finally expended all of her laughter, she took a minute or two to compose herself, before looking at me and spying my unamused expression.

“Aw, c’mon, man,” she said, cuffing my arm, “I was just joking. Even Octy knows I never mean what I say when I’m messing around. So, forgive me?”

She pouted in a rather exaggerated way, looking up at me with puppy-dog eyes. I couldn’t help it; I smiled at such a goofy face.

“All right, all right,” I said. “I guess I overreacted anyway.”

Vinyl grinned.

“See, that’s why I like you,” she said. “You’re a nice guy. Just goes with the flow.”

“Thanks. Well, it doesn’t look like the storm’s gonna clear out anytime soon, so you may as well stay the night. The spare bedroom doesn’t have a bed, but you can use mine while I use the couch.”

“Aw, dude, no,” said Vinyl. “Even I can’t let ya do that. I’ll take the couch.”

“No, Vinyl. As the host-”

“Don’t think like a host,” Vinyl interrupted. “Think like a friend.”

“Well,” I said, after a pause, “as a friend, I still wouldn’t feel right letting you use the couch.”

“Dude, I sleep on mine all the time when I’m all wubbed out. It’s no big deal.”

She was stubbornly insistent. I hated when that happened. The right thing to do was to have her use the bed, yet she said she didn’t care if she used the couch. I didn’t want to risk an altercation.

“Well, if you really insist,” I said, “then at least let me lend you a pillow and blanket.”

“Thanks, bro,” she said. “I can accept that.”

I got up and grabbed what was needed, while Vinyl made herself comfortable on the couch, stretching out along its length. When I returned, I handed her the pillow, which she telekinetically stuffed under her messy-maned head, and I tucked the blanket in around her. She stifled a giggle.

“What?” I asked.

“Ticklish,” she said.

“Ah, sorry. Well, I’ve got to be at work for 10, so hopefully the blizzard will be done long before. If not, I’ll let you stick around until it’s clear.”

Vinyl smiled.

“Thanks, man,” she said. “You remind me a lot of Octy.”

“I do?”

“Yeah. Kinda prudish, but with a good heart beneath that.”

“You think I’m a prude?” I asked, indignantly.

“I said ‘kinda’,” Vinyl said, “though that word is kinda fun to say.”

She giggled to herself, before letting off a huge yawn.

“Good night, you crazy DJ,” I said, grinning.

“Good night, you big lug,” she responded.

She snuggled herself in deeper, and I softly turned off the light, making my way to my own bedroom. As I settled under the covers, I could hear Vinyl’s soft snores from the living room. As strange and kinda nutty as she was, I’d have been lying if I said she wasn’t a good friend to have around. I hardly even noticed the loud whistling of the wind as I eventually dozed off.

Tuesday, December 6


***


When I awoke the next morning, I was feeling even warmer than usual. Had the temperature risen outside or something? My vision was still rather blurry, so when I looked for the source, it just looked like a pillow in front of me. But then, what was laying across my arm, and why could I see so much blue?

…

“YAH!” I yelled.

Vinyl jolted and slid to the other side of the bed, while I grabbed my glasses. As I put them on, the unicorn rubbed her magenta eyes tiredly.

“Not the best ‘good morning’ I’ve ever had,” she said, sleepily.

“Vinyl, what are you doing in my bed?!”

“It got chillier during the night,” said Vinyl. “I was gonna see if you had a warmer blanket myself, since I didn’t feel like waking you up, but when I couldn’t find one, I decided to share the bed with you. Besides,” she added, in a teasing tone, “I wanted to keep you safe and sound from any nightmares that might come at you.”

“What are you, my mom?” I asked, dryly, and that made her start laughing.

“Oh my gosh!” she gasped. “That face you made when you said that! It was hilarious! It was so deadpan serious!”

“Well, I’m glad you’re entertained,” I muttered. “Look, Vinyl, I gotta get ready. While I’m getting cleaned up, you can help yourself to breakfast in the pantry and see what the weather’s like outside.”

“All righty,” said Vinyl, and she clambered out of bed. “Best night’s sleep I’ve had in a while.”

She stretched cat-like, then trotted off for the kitchen. As I got out of bed, I mused to myself.

(I wondered why it felt like I was holding a teddy bear. Still would have been nice if she’d have asked me first.)


***


The sky was clear, though the ground was thickly laden with snow from the blizzard. Still, that meant Vinyl could come with me into Ponyville, and she could head home while I went to work. She had helped herself to a generous stack of toast, which she split with me when I came out dressed for the day. After that, we geared up, locked up, and headed into Ponyville.

“Hey, man,” said Vinyl.

“Hmm?”

Vinyl had moved her sunglasses with her magic to above her horn, and she looked up at me with those vibrant eyes of hers.

“I really do appreciate you letting me crash at your place,” she said. “I hope I didn’t weird you out too much by popping up beside you in the bed.”

“Well, it would have been nice to be warned,” I said, “but I’m still glad I could give you shelter for the night. Don’t be afraid to drop by whenever you feel like.”

Vinyl grinned.

“Thanks, dude. Whenever I feel like, huh? So when you’re sleeping, or in the shower, or-”

“Vinyl!” I snapped.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding!” laughed Vinyl. “Sheesh, do you and Octy share the same kind of stick up your butts? Well, later, man!”

Since her coat matched the snow almost perfectly, she seemed to just disappear into the banks covering the streets, though the blue of her mane and tail was still very vivid. The two of us had come to Bon Bon’s during our conversation. I sighed, letting out a cloud of freezing vapor.

“She’s crass,” I said, “but she’s friendly in her own weird way. Can’t fault her for that.”

And with that, I opened up the door and stepped inside, ready for another day of sugary sweets.

Wednesday, December 7
> Scales and Arpeggios
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The rest of the week just seemed to fly by after that, turning into a blur of candy and customers, all filled with a festive holiday cheer that demanded sweets and chocolates. Wednesday soon dissolved into Thursday, then Friday, and at last Saturday, where I had to tell myself that I didn’t have to go into work until 12. I still hadn’t seen Moonlight since she started work, but I hadn’t had much time for anything else anyway. Besides, she was doing fine; I had faith about that. Pinkie did return to restock her supply of candy, but this time I didn’t even attempt to stop her in the name of the bet. It was useless. I did have another visit from Rainbow, as well, who came to laugh at my apron again, but made up for it by giving me a bottle of water she had brought with her, saying I looked thirsty. I accepted the peace offering, though I think she let the water sit out too long; it tasted warm.

There were still two weeks left until Hearth’s Warming, but it seemed like an awfully short time, especially considering the fact that I now had a second job. I had to make a game plan in the meantime. It was going to be a busy time of year, and who was to say that most of the good gifts wouldn’t already be gone by the time I finally was able to start? I’d have to check out this Barnyard Bargains place Diamond Tiara told me about as soon as possible. If her father was wealthy enough to have employed a whole team of engineering ponies to make her Platinum Panther, he must have a very lucrative business. I could at the very least buy some holiday cards before planning for the big stuff. No need to splurge on what someone might not even want. 

Boy, now I knew what my parents must have felt, getting everything ready for the holidays. 

Speaking of, thinking about Hearth’s Warming approaching so rapidly made me think of home again. Around this time, I’d have been making a short Christmas list of gift ideas to give to my folks and send to my grandparents. Later on, we would pick up a tree, decorate it, and then the big day would arrive: all of us gathered around the tree opening presents, laughing, expressing our thanks to the senders, all around imbued with a spirit of warmth and good cheer. I wondered if Twilight had made any progress at all with that spell. Even if I couldn’t be home for Christmas, maybe I’d be able to send a card to my family, like I had the letter and photo.

I’d have to check with Twilight and see if it was at least possible. I just wished that spell wasn’t so darn particular, with every single star, planet, and celestial body needing to be in alignment for it to work. As much as I enjoyed living among these ponies, deep down, my heart still sorely yearned for home.


***


When closing time rolled around that Saturday, Bon Bon handed me a hefty bag of bits, around as heavy as what Ironmane gave me every week. If my calculations were correct (even though I stunk when it came to math), I was holding 230 bits in my hands at that very moment. The possibilities of uses for so much money sprang from my mind like water from a fountain. What kind of gifts for my friends and acquaintances could I get with this sort of cash? A few bits seemed to go a long way when purchasing necessities, though I’d still have to be prudent.

“Your first week’s wages, Dave,” said Bon Bon, crisply. “You’ve earned it.”

“Thanks a bunch, Bon Bon,” I said, stowing the bag away in my jacket. “I’m glad to be able to assist you and Lyra.”

“Well, we’re glad to have you aboard, newbie,” said Lyra, “especially at such a busy time.”

“By the way,” I interjected, “are we still on for those piano lessons you talked about?”

“Heck yeah! I’ve got some stuff to take care of tonight, but I’m free all day tomorrow. Drop by our house, and we can get started.”

“That works perfectly,” I said. “Good night, then, girls.”

“Good night!”

“Night!”

The three of us went our separate ways toward home. I intended to get a list started of ponies and potential gifts to get them, and then head to Barnyard Bargains the next day. I’d have to go early, so that I could return in time to see Minister Ironmane, and then head over to Bon Bon and Lyra’s for that piano lesson. My past self would have gaped at how much planning and activity I was engaging myself in at this time, as it hadn’t been in my habit to plan so many things to do for such a short amount of time.

When I got home, I took out a piece of paper and composed it thusly:

“Hearth’s Warming Gift Ideas for Friends”

Pinkie: ???
Twilight: ???
Fluttershy: ???
Applejack: ???
Rarity: ???
Rainbow Dash: ???
Spike: ???
The Crusaders: ???
Moonlight: ???
Derpy: ???
Sparkler: ???
Lyra: ???
Bon Bon: ???


That was a good enough start anyway, even if that wasn’t everyone. I’d add to it if any more inspirations came to me. Maybe if I ran into Pinkie in the near future, she could give me some ideas. She did know everypony in Ponyville, after all.

Saturday, December 10


***


After breakfast the next morning, I directed my steps to Ponyville’s shopping district, intending to scope out Barnyard Bargains. Actually, it was difficult to miss, as it stood out like a monolith compared to every other store nearby. It resembled the side of a barn, with the words “BARNYARD BARGAINS” written in big block letters across the roof. Ponies were filing in and out through the doors, so I joined those heading in.

It was as if I had just stepped into a Target or Walmart. There was a long line of cash register lanes lined up ahead, and behind them, a sprawling, massive collection of shelves and aisles packed with clothes, groceries, toiletries, and an assortment of other goods. Shopping carts stood at the ready, and a few ponies wearing buttoned shirts and name tags roamed the aisles, providing customer assistance.

“Neato,” I muttered to myself, impressed.

Since I didn’t have a clear idea of what to buy yet, and didn’t want to just splurge recklessly, I sought out where they kept the greeting cards. Back home, one of my favorite pastimes when shopping was to read through the greeting cards made for humor and laugh myself stupid. It was no different here, as though I was browsing for bulk holiday cards, I still managed to find cards that made me laugh. At last, I found boxes of holiday cards, from as small as 8 to as large as 100. I wanted to play it safe, so I bought two packs of 20, each costing 7 bits. That was already 14 bits gone, but not, I should think, wasted. With these in tow, I made for the checkout line.

“Well, hello, son! Glad you could finally stop by!”

I stopped where I was. A stallion had come right up to me and slapped a hoof on my shoulder, as if he were my uncle. There was something familiar about him.

“Aren’t you...Diamond Tiara’s father?” I asked, after pausing to consider. “I saw you at the derby when the carts crashed.”

“That’s right,” said the stallion. “Filthy Rich is mah name, but just call me Rich. Welcome to Barnyard Bargains!”

“Thanks. I have a feeling I’ll be visiting again pretty soon in the future. I’m just getting some Hearth’s Warming cards for now.”

“Ah, plannin’ a big shoppin’ spree for your friends?”

“Something like that.”

“Well, then, boy, you’ve come to the right place. Barnyard Bargains is the prime shopping chain in Equestria! Got outlets all across the country: Ponyville, Manehattan, Fillydelphia, Baltimare, Vanhoover, you name it, we’re there!”

“Wow. It’s reminded me even more of a couple store chains we have back where I come from.”

“That so? Well, you should feel right at home, then! I’ll let you get back to your shoppin’ now.”

“Thanks, Mr. Rich. And tell Diamond Tiara I said hello.”

“Will do, son, will do.”

With that, Filthy Rich departed to another part of the store, and I got in line at one of the less busy checkout lanes.


***


By the time I returned home, it was almost time for Ironmane to arrive, so I set the cards down on my kitchen table and waited. After our meeting, I’d head to Lyra and Bon Bon’s for that piano lesson. I wondered how long it would take to learn if we could only practice on Sundays, at least until after December, when there was the possibility that my part-time assistance wasn’t needed weekly. The funny thing was, every time I thought about playing the piano since Lyra brought up the lessons, I felt a strange kind of warmth in my head, almost like the heat I went through when I downed Zecora’s mental boost potion. Maybe it was just a coincidence.

At last, there came the telltale knock at the door. I went to answer it, and there stood Ironmane.

“Hello, Minister,” I said. “Any news on the dragon gem debate?”

“Not much has changed, David,” said Ironmane, “and it could very well stay that way if something isn’t done.”

“But what else is missing?” I asked. “What do these dragons want, besides more gems?”

“They want to have them readily available, is what. They’re a crafty lot, as I have told you before, and they won’t accept an agreement if their supply will run out without a way to replenish it. There is always an abundance in the Rambling Rock Range, but there’s the matter of the Diamond Dogs.”

“Ohh, right,” I said, remembering. “They were in that catalogue you gave me: subterranean canines who hoard treasure for themselves.”

“They claim that land now,” said Ironmane, “but it wasn’t theirs to begin with. It used to be a pony settlement, but the Diamond Dogs drove them away, claiming it as their own. Unfortunately, there are currently no means of effectively removing them without repercussion. We don’t wish to harm them, merely place them elsewhere. They’re quite stubborn, and previous attempts to reason with them have proved fruitless.”

“Quite the pickle,” I muttered.

“Indeed,” said Ironmane. “Your consideration is appreciated, David, but at the moment, this is a task for Brutus and myself. This impasse will dissipate itself in the end, mark my words. It’s a matter of making them want to end it first.”

He marked this by handing over my weekly pay.

“Thanks, Minister. By the way,” I added, on a thought, “how do you usually celebrate Hearth’s Warming?”

Ironmane’s brow furrowed slightly, and his mouth tightened. It didn’t look like the question was agreeable to him.

“I apologize, David, but I must be off. I shall keep you posted if anything changes. Good day.”

And without another word, he walked off through the snow. What had that been all about? Had I been too personal? Maybe I was, but I had thought it was a reasonable question. I just hoped he didn’t resent me for asking.

Whatever the case, I stowed the money away and, gearing up once again, headed out for Lyra and Bon Bon’s.


***


When I knocked at the door to the mares’ home, I had to wait a few minutes before someone answered. At last, the door cracked open, and I saw Lyra’s vivid orange eye peering through.

“What’s the password?” she asked.

“Password?” I asked, confused.

“No password, no entry.”

“Er, well, ok. Is it...swordfish?”

“Nope.”

“Is it...I am the walrus?”

“Nope.”

“Who’s on first?”

“Nope.”

“Who’s your daddy?”

“Nope.”

“Rosebud?”

“Nope.”

“Ruby red rutabaga?”

“Nope.”

“Lemon curry?”

“Nope. Wait, lemon curry?”

“Lyra, let him in, for Pete’s sake!” shouted Bon Bon from inside. “You’re letting in the cold air!”

“All right, all right, I was just having a little fun,” said Lyra, and she opened the door wider. “Just kidding, bud. Come on in.”

Gratefully, I stepped inside, took off my boots, and hung up my coat. On the inside, their house was very nice to look at, and reflected its occupants: cream-colored walls and mint-green carpeting. I could see doorways leading to a kitchen, a bathroom, and a bedroom, though another one was labelled ‘Bon Bon’s Testing Lab. DO NOT DISTURB’. That must have been where she cooked up new candy ideas. A fireplace was crackling abundantly on one side of the wall, opposite a big sofa, where Bon Bon was reclining. Along the mantle were photos of Lyra, Bon Bon, and ponies whom I guessed were each’s parents. Sitting next to the fireplace was a mahogany piano, and sitting on a shelf next to it was Lyra’s lyre.

“Good afternoon, boss,” I said.

“Hello, Dave,” said Bon Bon. “There’s no need for such formality when you’re our guest.”

“Yeah, relax,” said Lyra, “pull up a chair, kick off your shoes, scratch yourself, burp-”

“Lyra!”

“What, just telling him to make himself at home.”

“I swear, you hang around Vinyl much too often. She’s rubbing off on you.”

“Don’t you mean wubbing off on me?”

Lyra snickered, and Bon Bon just let out a frustrated groan.

“Anyways, Dave, let’s get you started. Plunk yourself down in front of the piano.”

I took a seat on the long stool in front of the piano, and Lyra sat herself beside me.

“So, have you ever played before?”

“Well, no,” I admitted. “I’ve only tried it a couple times on pianos and keyboards in stores, but that was just mindless key-mashing. I can picture certain melodies in my head, but have never learned to read sheet music.”

“Well, let’s try you on the scales, first, then we’ll go from there. You may surprise yourself.”

“Er, ok. Where do I start?”

“Right here.”

She tapped a key with one hoof, producing a note. Spreading my fingers out as I would on a computer keyboard, I placed my pinkie finger on that key she indicated, and played my way up each one. Lyra sang, tunefully,

“Do re mi fa so la ti do”

Then I worked my way back down, and she sang,

“Do ti la so fa mi re do. Not bad. Those fingers you have really come in handy. Hee-hee! Handy. I’m on fire today!”

Bon Bon merely made a ‘Tsk’ noise, but I had hardly even noticed. The same warmth that had filled my head when I thought about the upcoming lesson was back again. It felt like a soft, gentle hand was stroking my scalp, as if it were trying to coax something out of hiding in my mind. All of a sudden, a simple, familiar melody floated into my head, and I found my fingers working of their own accord, as if the knowledge and remembrance of the tune had moved its way into them. Lyra looked on in surprise, and even Bon Bon lifted her head to look.

“How are you doing that, dude?” asked Lyra.

“I don’t know,” I said, just as baffled. “It just...came to me.”

“Well, don’t stop, cuz whatever you’re doing, you’re doing it right!”

Lyra looked absolutely jubilant, and I was pretty excited myself. This was amazing! It was such a small, simple piece, only a few notes strung together, but it was a melody! An actual piano melody! I was doing it completely by memory, and it was coming out just as I envisioned it!

With a flourish, I played out the final notes of the song, the last key’s tone reverberating with a triumphant sort of finality. Lyra and Bon Bon clapped their hooves.

“Bravo!” said Bon Bon. “That was very good!”

“That was amazing!” said Lyra. “I thought you said you’d never played the piano before!”

“I haven’t, really,” I said. “I can’t really explain how it happened, but the tune just came to me, and I played by ear. Now don’t let this give you the wrong idea,” I warned. “This doesn’t mean I don’t need more practice. If you’re willing, I still intend to come by and practice when I can.”

“Of course we’re willing,” said Lyra. “You’ve got a real passion for the piano, bud, and we’re happy to accommodate. Right, Bonnie?”

“Certainly,” said Bon Bon. “Have you had lunch yet today? I was going to get something hot started.”

“Oh, I don’t wanna impose-” I began.

“You’re not imposing,” said Lyra, throwing a foreleg over my shoulders. “Three’s company!”

(But I thought it was ‘two’s company and three’s a crowd’.)

“Besides, I’ve been waiting to have someone sit and listen to my latest melody. Bonnie’s a great judge of music, but I’ve gotta expand my audience.”

Bon Bon just rolled her eyes playfully and went to the kitchen.


***


The next hour or so was occupied with hot noodles and Lyra’s lyre playing. It still amazed me how a unicorn with such a boyish sense of humor could play so beautifully. It was almost as if holding the lyre in her telekinesis completely transformed her personality, made her into another pony. Bon Bon herself seemed mesmerized by the chords Lyra struck, and sat on the couch beside her eccentric friend, eyes closed and smiling in silent bliss. There were no words to Lyra’s song, just music: beautiful, sonorous music. Even though she said she didn’t mind not being part of a grand ensemble, I couldn’t help but picture her in the midst of an orchestra at a music hall, resplendent and dazzling, playing a solo on that lyre.

When she finally concluded, Bon Bon said,

“Lyra, that was wonderful.”

“Thanks, Bonnie,” said Lyra, “but what do you think, Dave?”

“Me? I’m with Bon Bon. That tune carried my imagination far and wide. It was beautiful.”

Lyra smiled.

“Well, I don’t want to seem like an ungrateful houseguest,” I said, “but I should be going. I’ll see you both tomorrow at work.”

“All right,” said Bon Bon. “It was very nice to have you over.”

“And, if you can get a chance, keep up on those piano skills,” said Lyra. “You’re off to a good start.”

“Thanks.”

Bidding the two candy-makers and music aficionados farewell, I bundled up in my snow gear and headed out. As I did so, I could hear Bon Bon chuckling through the door. 

“Wub off on you...I get it now!”

“Ha! See? Told you I was funny!” said Lyra, triumphantly.

I had just started down the main street when-

*WHAM!*

I walked headlong into something that bounced me backward. When I regained my equilibrium, I saw that what I had collided with was Pinkie, who had also been knocked for a loop by the collision.

“Oh, gosh! I’m sorry, Pinkie!”

“Oh, it’s ok, Davie,” said Pinkie. “I knew I was gonna bump into someone. You know how ear flop-eye flutter-knee twitch means ‘watch out for opening doors’?”

“Er, yeah?”

“Well, ear-flop-itchy nose-rumbly tummy means ‘watch out for traffic’.”

“I see. Still, I’m glad I bumped into you, Pinkie.”

“So am I. I’m always glad to bump into a friend, unless they don’t like being bumped. Then I just hug ‘em!”

“How’s Moonlight doing so far, having gone through her first week?”

“Really well! She cleans fast for such a skinny thing, but she super cleans! Not a speck, crumb, or sprinkle stays behind when she’s on the job! Not just that, but when she’s all done with that, she’s always sitting at the counter, writing stuff on a piece of paper, crossing it out. She told me she’s trying to think of new slogans or ads for Sugarcube Corner! Neat, huh?” 

“Yeah, that sounds really interesting,” I said.

“She’s always really tired when it’s closing time, but she comes into work as chipper as one of Fluttershy’s squirrels.”

“That’s good. I’m glad she’s found something she’s happy with. There was something else I wanted to ask you, though.”

“Yeah?”

“It’s kind of confidential, so can you keep it a secret?”

Pinkie nodded firmly, ‘zipping’ her lip. Then, she did a very bizarre pantomime: holding out her hoof as if she were displaying something, she lifted her other forehoof as if holding something over it. She gave her hoof a twitch, letting it fall over the other hoof, then, after screwing up her face in concentration and flinging her foreleg about in bizarre motions, she cooly mimed picking something up off the hoof with a flourish. I must have been crazy, but I could have sworn I heard a ‘Ta-da’ fanfare.

“Uh, what was that?” I asked.

“You’ve never seen the Magician’s Promise?” asked Pinkie. “It’s easy! Zip the lip, lock it up, now you see it, now you don’t!”

She grinned in that squeaky way of hers.

“Oh, of course. Silly me,” I said, dryly. “Anyway, Pinkie, you know everypony in Ponyville, right?”

“Yeah-huh!”

“Well, do you know what some may want for Hearth’s Warming? Like, say, our friends: Twilight, Rainbow, Applejack, Rarity, Fluttershy, and Spike.”

Pinkie tapped her chin, a thoughtful pout on her face as she considered. I added, hastily,

“Not that I want to steal whatever ideas you yourself had, understand!”

Pinkie nodded to herself at last and said,

“I’m glad you came to me, Davie, because I think I know what you can get them for Hearth’s Warming.”

“You do? Great!”

“You got a pencil and paper on you?”

I felt around my pockets, but I didn’t have any on me. Of course, I’d never thought I’d need them, so I didn’t bother.

“It’s ok!” said Pinkie. “I’ve got my own!”

From out of nowhere, she produced a fresh sheet of paper and a pencil and handed them to me. I stared from them to her in bewilderment.

“How did you-?”

“Just a hunch!” said Pinkie, brightly. “Now, for Twilight…”

In a flash, I put the pencil to the paper, ready to take down what Pinkie had to say.


***


From what Pinkie told me, Twilight would have loved a new set of quills, preferably a pricey set of assorted exotic bird quills at Quills and Sofas; Rarity was yearning for a rare kind of vermilion silk produced only in the Canterlot boutiques; Rainbow hadn’t given any hints, but Pinkie had a hunch she’d love a Wonderbolts poster, possibly a new one containing a full depiction of every current team member, including some of its past, founding members; Applejack would be content to have some new, stronger rope for lassoing purposes; Fluttershy was a mystery, as she was not one to admit personal things aloud, but Pinkie assured me she’d do some discrete digging; and Spike had, for weeks now, expressed a desire for a new pillow for his basket, as his old one was starting to wear out. 

I could get some of these things in Ponyville, to be sure, but some would have to be gotten in Canterlot, like the silk and poster. Still, a set of quills, lasso rope, and a pillow could be easily gotten here in Ponyville. Maybe I could get some further ideas for other ponies as time went on.

“Pinkie, you’re a holiday miracle,” I said, adding the final notes.

“Aww, thanks, Davie,” said Pinkie. “If I find out some more gift ideas, I’ll keep you posted, ok?”

“That’d be awesome. You’re the best, Pinkie.”

Pinkie beamed and, rearing up, gripped me in one of her tight Pinkie hugs. I grinned and reciprocated the gesture.

“Still, you’ve got a lot of friends now, Davie,” said Pinkie.

“Tell me about it,” I said. “That’s why I need all the help I can get. I’ve only got 2 weeks, and I don’t want to leave anyone out.”

“Well, you can count on me, Davie!” said Pinkie, releasing me and giving me a valiant salute.

“At ease, Private Pie,” I said, with a chuckle. “I appreciate it. I’ll see you around, Pinkie.”

“Okie-dokie-lokie! Bye!”

Pinkie bounced off, and I directed my steps back toward Ponyville’s shopping district to scope out those quills, then see what I could do about the rope and pillow. With Pinkie being my scout, this might not turn out so bad after all.

Sunday, December 11

Pinkie: ???
Twilight: New set of quills
Fluttershy: ???
Applejack: Lasso rope
Rarity: Vermillion silk (Canterlot)
Rainbow Dash: Wonderbolts poster (Canterlot)
Spike: New pillow
The Crusaders: ???
Moonlight: ???
Derpy: ???
Sparkler: ???
Lyra: ???
Bon Bon: ???
> Shopper's Anxiety
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The fancy quills Pinkie had told me about were indeed at Quills and Sofas, packaged in a streamlined silver case, which contained several colorful bird feathers with exotic designs. Mr. Davenport, the proprietor, told me that Twilight had come in once or twice to admire them, but that nopony else seemed to bother with them. Personally, I figured it must have been because they were so pricey. I wasn’t sure if spending this much on a set of quills was a wise expense, but Pinkie said Twilight had her eyes on them, and I did want to get her something nice, but practical. That settled it.

“Mr. Davenport, do you think you can place a hold on these quills until I decide on buying them or not?”

“Sure thing! They aren’t exactly in high demand at the moment, so no harm in that.”

“Great, thanks.”

“Come back anytime, and I’m sure you’ll find a nice sofa, too.” 

With that out of the way, I went back to Barnyard Bargains to scope out the other items I would be able to acquire right away. I browsed the aisles searching for pillows and coils of rope. First, I checked the aisle devoted to bedding materials.

“Hmm...these are some plush-looking pillows. I’d probably be able to sleep like a baby with one of these under my head. Wonder if any of these would do for Spike…”

I tested them out by gently squeezing them between my fingers. They were astonishingly soft and plush, perfect even for pillow fights. I could see the Crusaders or even Pinkie whacking ponies about with these things. I would have loved to buy any one of them for my own good night’s sleep, but I was on a mission here, and I couldn’t stray from it.

“Let’s see...Ooh, this looks promising. ‘Sweet Dreams Brand Bed Pillows: Lighter Than Air Comfort for Heavy Sleepers’. 7 bits each. Spike might like that.”

I picked up the soft, cushy pillow and put it in the shopping basket I had grabbed on the way in. After that, I went into the section devoted to the kinds of things you’d get from a hardware store, like Timber’s Lumber. It sounded counterproductive not to just go to the latter store, but I was already at Barnyard Bargains, so why not?

“Hmm...Ah, here we go! Colonel Tumbleweed’s High-Grade Rope: For the Cowpony in You’. 5 bits a coil. Now that sounds just like Applejack.”

As I tucked the rope in with the pillow, a thought occurred to me. It seemed kind of silly to just be going in now for a pillow and bit of rope, when I had more ponies on my list. It felt like there was more I should be getting, more to be looking for, even if what that was was a mystery for now. After all, my friends weren’t only limited to Pinkie, Spike, and the girls. I’d accumulated many companions throughout my few months here in Ponyville. Shouldn’t they be taken into account? Of course, several of those were already on my list.

There were the four Crusaders. As rambunctious and, at times, crazy as they were, Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and Dinky were very sweet little fillies, and a lot of fun to be around. Hanging out with them made me glad I was still young.

Then there were Derpy and Sparkler. Ever since the incident with her ripped mailbag, I felt like Derpy and I had grown close as neighbors, but she was much more than that. She was a caring, devoted mother, with a warmth and kindness that was replicated in all of her daughters. I was proud to have such friends.

And then came Moonlight. She had been my mysterious neighbor for a long while, until that one stormy night brought us into contact with each other. Since then, I had seen her go from a shy, soft-spoken shut-in to a cheerful, tender-hearted pegasus with a love for Daring Do. I had high hopes for her future, especially with her new job.

Speaking of jobs, I also had Lyra and Bon Bon to consider. Beyond the fact that I now worked for them,I knew they would have my back if anything went wrong. After all, they had stood by my side during the incident with the libelous article. I knew that Lyra had taken an interest in me the moment we met just for being a human, but over time, it seemed like the thrill of the exotic wore off, and not a single bit of her attitude towards me had changed. Bon Bon had been there to keep Lyra in check, and had never been anything but kind towards me. She made really tasty candy, too.

And after that came the Cakes. Mr. and Mrs. Cake could have easily refused Pinkie’s request to let me stay at Sugarcube Corner. However, they trusted me and allowed me to share Pinkie’s room until I could get a living space of my own. They deserved especial consideration for their generosity and hospitality. Maybe I could get them something to help with Pound and Pumpkin?

The more I thought about it, the more enormous my self-made goal looked, and the more panicked I became!

So many ponies, so little time, so few funds! 

It was all zooming around my brain like numerous trains, all coming from different angles and about to collide at one spot in the center! It was too much for me! I couldn’t hold my frustration in any longer!

“AAUUUGH!!”

My scream echoed throughout the store, and everything went deadly silent. All eyes were on me: puzzled, perplexed, annoyed, and unnerved. I glanced about at all of them, feeling extremely sheepish and going red in the face. That was a stupid thing to have done in a crowded store…

“Er, I mean,” I said, attempting a grin, “‘Ahhh, wow!’ Only 4 bits for a toilet plunger! What a bargain! A-heh-heh…”

Even as everypony else went about with their business, I was the only one laughing.


***


When I got back home, I wasn’t exactly over the panic I had gone through at Barnyard Bargains. I had set the pillow and rope safely aside in my closet, writing out Hearth’s Warming cards to label them as being for their recipients, and tried to think of a way to get my mind off of things. It wasn’t easy. The thought that there were so many ponies I knew, so many whom I owed gratitude to, that were my friends...it was overwhelming.

“What am I gonna do? I figured the ponies I put on my list would be just a start, sure, but I never realized just how many I knew...I don’t wanna seem ungrateful by not getting them anything. My friends deserve better than that!”

I was pacing up and down my living room as I was saying this. It wasn’t helping too much, but I just couldn’t sit still. When I was feeling restless, I had to just wander and let my thoughts flow more freely.

“There’s only two weeks left until Hearth’s Warming, and already some of the stuff Pinkie mentioned is up in Canterlot. I wonder if Bon Bon could grant me a brief vacation so I could go up there and shop for the stuff I can’t get here. But then, would that cut into my pay, since I’d be absent for a day or more? Every bit counts, especially with so many ponies to consider. I’d be getting paid the Saturday before Hearth’s Warming, but that’s at around 6 in the evening. Would I even have enough time for last-minute shopping? ARGH!!”

I rapped the knuckles of both hands against the sides of my head.

“Who would have thought having a sense of generosity would be so stressful?!”

Suddenly, I felt my heart leap inside my ribcage. Someone was knocking at the door.

“Gah! Er, come in!”

The door opened, revealing Moonlight, a book under her wing. She looked a little flustered. I breathed a sigh of relief.

“Ah! Moonlight, it’s you. Is something wrong?”

“I was about to ask that of you,” said Moonlight. “I heard you shouting from outside.”

(Uh oh...was I that loud?)

“Oh, that? It’s nothing you need to worry about, Moonlight.”

“Are you sure? Is something bothering you?”

“Well…”

Did I really want to hide anything from her? It wasn’t like I had any gift ideas to hide from her at the moment. Perhaps I could glean one while she was here.

“I’m just feeling a little pre-holiday stress, that’s all,” I said. “All that rush-rush, get-in, get-out, get-them-while-their-hot shopping stuff, you know?”

“Um...yes, I suppose,” said Moonlight, her brow slightly furrowed. “But I didn’t think it could lead one to fits of screaming.”

“The holidays are both a wonderful and agonizing time of the year, Moonlight,” I said. “But enough about me. How have you been? I haven’t seen you all week!”

“Oh, it’s been marvelous!” said Moonlight, cheerfully. “Pinkie Pie and the Cakes have been so wonderful to me. They’ve told me Sugarcube Corner has never sparkled like it has when I started cleaning it.”

“Pinkie told me you’re also working on advertising.”

“That’s right! It was really more of a spur of the moment thing. I had cleaned the entire first floor from top to bottom, and there just wasn’t anything else to dust or mop, so I figured I’d take my break. I was getting bored, and pictures and slogans started whizzing around through my head. To pass the time, I started writing them down on a piece of paper.”

“What kind of slogans?” I asked, interested.

“Oh, things like,‘Sugarcube Corner: Serving Sweet Treats with a Sweet Smile’, or ‘Sugarcube Corner: Cupcakes, Cookies, and Cake: Oh My!’”

“Heh, not bad. Not bad at all.”

Moonlight beamed.

“I’ve got plenty more, but I need to run them by the Cakes first, see if they like them. How are things at Bon Bon’s?”

“Pretty good. I’m running counter detail, as Pinkie may have told you. She did share that candy she bought, didn’t she?”

“Mm-hmm. I’ll admit, she forced quite a bit on me, and I didn’t think I could eat that much. I’m still amazed I haven’t ballooned up yet, or that she can down so many sweets like that. She’s a little crazy, but very kind.”

“I know,” I said, fondly. “That sounds just like the Pinkie Pie I know. So, do you feel like Sugarcube Corner is right for you?”

“Yep! I feel very comfortable there, and the pay is generous. The next time I have free time, I’ll go browse around this ‘Barnyard Bargains’ store I’ve heard about. It must have outrageously good deals, because somepony today was talking about there being a ruckus over the bargain price of a toilet plunger.”

(Gah...news travels fast in this little burg.)

“Are you all right?” Moonlight asked, tilting her head. “You looked a little green just now.”

“Y-Yeah, no worries. So, what’s that book you have there?”

“Hmm? Oh, this!”

She held up her wing, revealing the book clutched in its feathers. It was a Daring Do volume, depicting the brave pegasus standing before the backdrop of a clifftop castle, an ominous, batwinged figure rising behind it; whose eyes and pointed teeth gleamed in the darkness. With a cover like that, glancing at the title wasn’t necessary.

“Aha!” I said. “It’s the next Daring Do book, The Batpony King, right?”

“Mm-hmm! Twilight dropped by Sugarcube Corner and told me about it. I decided to drop by the library and take it out, to surprise you! Surprised?”

“Very! I was hoping for something to distract me from my holiday pressure. This’ll do nicely. Make yourself comfy, Moonlight.”

Moonlight plunked herself down on the couch, shifting about until she was cozy. It was kinda cute, in a way, as if she considered my house a home away from home. I sat down next to her her, and she nestled up against my side. Her warmth and presence really did comfort me in a way, easing the stress I had been going through. We opened the book up between us, and for the next few hours, lost ourselves in the newest tale in Daring Do’s string of escapades.


***


Night had fallen by the time we could reach a point to pause and pick up next time. Moonlight let off a huge yawn.

“I’m with you there,” I said, adding in my own yawn. “I’m exhausted, and we’ve both got to be up early tomorrow. Besides, I’ve got a hunch King Pferdermaus isn’t the gentleman he’s making himself out to be.”

“You think he might actually be Count de Vollblut?”

“It’s a very distinct possibility. It’s not uncommon for a killer to mask himself with a gentler facade. Still, info on batponies is a little scarce, so we don’t know if vampiric batponies even exist. Either it’s poetic license, or the author did some research.”

“Yeah. Well, I’ll see you next time, Dave. It may have to be another Sunday, since my hours run a little late, and I’m usually tired afterwards. Until then, I’ll let you hold onto the book.”

“I understand. Good night, Moonlight.”

“Good night!”

I saw Moonlight out, waiting until she was inside before going back in. As I was closing the door, however, I looked up at the sky. A full moon was hanging in the air, gleaming amidst a sea of stars, with not a flake of falling snow to mar its image.

“Beautiful job tonight, Princess Luna,” I muttered, then closed the door. “Now, where’s that list?”

I dug around until I had found the list I had been making of ponies and gifts to get them. I had already gotten a couple of the items, though Twilight’s was technically on hold, so I began adding names and crossing out what I had already gotten. As I wrote, even more names began piling up in my head.

Pinkie: ???
Twilight: New set of quills (On Hold)
Fluttershy: ???
Applejack: Lasso rope
Rarity: Vermillion silk (Canterlot)
Rainbow Dash: Wonderbolts poster (Canterlot)
Spike: New pillow
The Crusaders: ???
Moonlight: ???
Derpy: ???
Sparkler: ???
Lyra: ???
Bon Bon: ???
Mr. and Mrs. Cake: ???
Berry Punch: ???
Vinyl Scratch: ???
Octavia: ???
Screwball: ???
Big Macintosh: ???
Magnum: ???
Caramel: ???
Meadow Song: ???
Granny Smith: ???
Trixie: ???
Zecora: ???

When I finally stopped, I felt stunned at all the additional names I had written down. It looked like my mission was going to be a lot tougher than I imagined. The biggest problem was...I was certain there were still one or two ponies I was forgetting.

“But who?” I muttered to myself. “I’m only increasing the workload by adding more names, but I can’t leave anypony out. Who am I missing? These are the friends I made in Ponyville, even though Octavia came from Canterlot first.”

That’s when it hit me.

“Canterlot...that’s it! But, can I even manage it? I can’t even imagine the kind of stuff that would please ponies like…like…”

But I couldn’t maintain my focus for much longer. Heaving a huge yawn, I slumped in my chair, falling asleep right there at the table.

The next thing I knew, I was standing in the middle of a snow-covered street, the sky completely black, not a star in the sky, and only the dark silhouettes of buildings visible. Then, the air was rent by the deep, resonating chime of a bell tower clock, and the ghostly image of a calendar appeared to cover the sky. A dark red circle surrounded the day ‘December 25: Hearth’s Warming’. A shudder of horror ran through me.

“Oh no! I waited too long! B-But there’s still time, right? I can still manage it!”

I began sprinting down the street, but it seemed like no matter how fast I ran, the buildings didn’t get any closer, nor did they even seem to pass by me. It was like I was running on a conveyor belt moving the opposite way. Then, right out of nowhere, several long, thin objects began soaring through the air like a flock of birds. But those were no birds: they were feather quills! The exotic bird quills I was planning to buy for Twilight. Like a swarm of insects they flew around me, some poking at me with their pointed ends, others tickling me with their feathered ends, as I swatted at them, trying to make them go away.

*WHUMP!*

A soft yet heavy weight smacked me in the side of the head, making the quills scatter. It was one of the pillows I’d seen in Barnyard Bargains, but it wasn’t alone. Three more bulky pillows joined it, and they began thumping and whacking me from all sides.

“Ack! Knock it off! Quit that!”

I tried to knock them away again, but the air was rent with the crack of a whip, and something wrapped around my wrist, pulling my arm back. It was the rope I’d bought for Applejack, and several more lashed out to restrain my other arm. I yanked at them to try and get them away from whatever it was they were being sent by, but nothing happened. All that did happen was that I found myself tumbling backwards onto my back. As a jerk move on the pillows’ part, none of them cushioned my fall, but they just loomed over me, along with the quills, hovering over me like bees about to strike. I tried to kick at them, but more ropes lashed around my ankles, and I was well and truly trapped. I sincerely doubted that even Gulliver would have made sense of this, as he had only been restrained by miniscule people, not live ropes, pillows, and quills. All the while, the bells continued clanging in my ears, on and on, a deafening cacophony of insanity!

“Enough!”

I opened my eyes. The ropes vanished in a blaze of light and puff of smoke, and the quills and pillows followed suit. Everything had dissolved into darkness once again, except for the faint bluish glow of a pony I thought I recognized. As she stepped forward, I could no longer doubt who it was.

“P-Princess Luna!” I muttered, shifting into a sitting position. “T-Thank you. You saved me again.”

“We must stop meeting like this,” said Luna. “Save for at least one encounter, I seem to always find you paralyzed with fear or unable to move, whether it’s in the real world or the vale of dreams.”

“Forgive me, Your Highness,” I said, my head bowed. “I didn’t mean to trouble your evening duties with my constant woes.”

I felt her put a hoof under my chin, which tilted my head up until I was gazing into her clear eyes. She was smiling gently.

“Come, Sir Dave. No need for such melancholy. Rise and tell me what is bothering you.”

Stiffly, I did as she bade, standing up so that I was level with her.

“It’s…complicated, Princess. I want to be able to get gifts for my friends for Hearth’s Warming, but only today did I realize how far the term ‘friends’ extends. I owe so much to so many ponies over the time I’ve been in Equestria. I got a part-time job so I could pay for gifts, but I feel like there just isn’t enough time to find gifts for everypony who deserves my gratitude. What do I do, Princess? What do I do?”

It took a few moments for Luna to answer, but at last, she said,

“You possess a kind and generous heart, Sir Dave. However, I think you’re trying a little too hard to please everypony. I understand your concern, but you are letting yourself get carried away by turning a molehill into a mountain. Two weeks seems like such a short time now, but you’d be surprised how much one can accomplish even in one day. Do not hold such a dismal opinion of the future when the present is still very much open to you.”

I looked up at her. There was that same calm wisdom that she emanated when I was engulfed in the nightmare that led to me first meeting her. It made me feel...warmer, lighter, as if a heavy lock covering my heart had been unchained and dropped.

“I remember you saying something similar the first time we met,” I said. “I wish I’d remembered that sooner…”

“It is no fault of yours,” said Luna. “And if you do fall under the same anxiety as before, just remember: keep your eyes on the now, and don’t strain them to see the further on.”

“Right. Thanks, Your Highness. I’m again sorry to have disturbed you.”

“Disturbed me? Nonsense. It is my duty to protect Equestria from the nightmares that prey on sleeping minds. Now, I shall wash away the remnants of the nightmare, and send you into a more blissful dream.”

Her horn flared up, and she raised herself into the air on her wings.

“Princess!” I suddenly said. “If I could say one more thing before you go.”

“Yes?”

“You paint a very beautiful night sky, Your Highness.”

Luna looked down at me for a moment, before her face split into a warm smile.

“I thank you, Sir Dave. Sweet dreams.”

And with that, she disappeared in the glow of her horn, and, true to her word, my dreams remained content and undisturbed until I awakened the next day, though I wish I’d fallen asleep in bed instead of at the table…

Sunday, December 11

> Gathering Gift Ideas
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

When I awoke the next morning, my back was aching from sleeping slumped over, and there were ink stains on my face. It was only 7 in the morning, but the sun filtering in still hurt my eyes.

“Blech...I wish I’d gotten to bed before conking out. What was I doing?...Oh yeah!”

I looked down at my list. Now I remembered what I had been thinking about before I had fallen asleep, and Princess Luna’s intervention in my dream helped loads. Hurriedly dipping my quill into the ink, I wrote out:

Mayor Mare: ???
Princess Celestia: ???
Princess Luna: ???
Round Table Council: ???

Hey, even members of the royal court must celebrate the holidays, right? Besides, I had the princesses and the mayor to thank for even allowing me to stay in their country and city, respectively, in the first place. I was about to get up, when a sudden thought at the back of my head nagged me to sit back down. There was one more name to go down on this list. 

Should I?

Did I really want to?

...Yes.

Quill in hand, I added, at the bottom,

Minister Ironmane: ???

As bad a start as we had had with each other, I couldn’t help but feel that, over time, he had become more...tolerable. He was no longer openly condescending towards me, and was at least treating me as an equal member of the council. Even if he didn’t answer my question when we last met, he still deserved some holiday cheer.

With that out of the way, I went to go wash up and get ready for work.


***


The trepidation I had felt about not being able to get my shopping completed on time was not quite gone, yet it was more tolerable thanks to Princess Luna. Now that I had time to reflect, she was right: two weeks seemed like a short time, but if I planned it out properly, it would be all the time I needed. I just had to be smart and secretive about it: smart in planning and budgeting my money, and secretive in not having anypony notice what I was up to. All that remained was figuring out what everypony else on my list wanted.

It seemed that Lady Luck had chosen to smile on me after my initial freak out, because as the week went on, gift ideas began to fill in the gaps I had left on the list. It started that day, with work progressing as usual, until the afternoon, after school hours, when the four Crusaders bounced in, bundled up and beaming.

“Welcome to Bon Bon’s Bonbons!” I said. “How may I satisfy your sweet tooth?”

The girls looked up at me, then broke into a chorus of giggles.

“What?” I asked.

“Nice apron, Dave!” snickered Scootaloo.

“You look just like Mom when she’s cooking!” giggled Sweetie Belle.

“Mah gosh, Ah never thought you were the apron type, Dave!” chuckled Apple Bloom.

Dinky was laughing too hard to voice her own witticism.

(Don’t get mad, Dave. They’re just being silly…)

“What can I do for you, fellow Crusaders?” I asked, keeping a straight face.

“We wanna try that new candy bar Diamond Tiara was bragging about!” said Sweetie Belle.

“New candy bar? ...Oh! You must mean the Caramallow Delight. Sure! How many?”

“Just two,” said Apple Bloom. “We’ve only got enough on us to split them between the four of us.”

They fished around in their saddlebags and, between the four of them, lay down just enough bits to afford two Caramallow Delights. 

“Granny gave us some bits for helpin’ with shovelin’ the north field yesterday,” Apple Bloom went on. “Applejack and Big Macintosh were busy plowin’ the south field, and Granny couldn’t do it herself. She says the cold does havoc on her old bones.”

“Aw, that’s a shame.”

“Yeah, and her old hoof warmers are worn out, so she can’t take walks out in the snow so easily anymore.”

(Oh, is that so? Well, there’s something to think about…)

While I was ringing up the candy bars, Dinky scampered over to a shelf near the counter, staring up at something sitting there. 

“Miss Heartstrings?” she asked Lyra, who was sitting by, tuning her lyre again.

“Yes, sweetie?”

“What’s that up there?”

“Hmm? Ooh, that! That’s the Fontaine de Cocoa, a do-it-yourself chocolate fountain. Perfect for parties and fondues, and fondue parties! Neverending chocolate!”

“Neverending chocolate…” murmured Dinky, who looked about ready to start drooling.

The girls had overheard what Dinky and Lyra had said, and they too gazed at the chocolate fountain with childish longing. Actually, that fountain reminded me of one I’d seen in that weird dream I had months ago, when I was in a land of sweets.

(Hmm...I wonder…)

Putting the bits into the register, I handed the little fillies two big bars of the new Lyra-approved treat.

“Thanks, Dave!” they chorused.

“Anytime, girls.”

“Come on, Dinky!” Scootaloo called, as Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle split one of the bars between them.

“Coming, sis!” said Dinky, hurrying back over to the group.

Munching on their candy, the four Crusaders left the shop, and as soon as I was sure they were out of earshot, I turned to Lyra.

“Lyra, how much does that chocolate fountain run for?” I asked.

“12 bits,” said Lyra. “A holiday bargain. Why, you want it?”

“Er, I’m thinking about it,” I said. “Can you put it on hold?”

“Ohhh,” said Lyra, looking very sly. “Is it for a very special somepony?”

“You’re putting words in my mouth, Lyra,” I said, flatly. “It’s for the Crusaders.”

“Ahh, gotcha,” said Lyra. “Sure, I’ll put it on hold for ya until you decide. We’ve still got a few in the back, anyway.” 

“Great, thanks. I just hope their parents and older siblings don’t get mad that I’m planning to give them an infinite supply of chocolate.”

“Nahh. You know what I always say? If you really care about someone, give ‘em the gift of chocolate, just like how Bonnie gifts me with new chocolates every week!”

Bon Bon rolled her eyes, though she was smiling as she did it.

Monday, December 12
Granny Smith: Hoof warmers
Crusaders: Chocolate fountain for clubhouse


***


On Tuesday, we were treated to a visit by Berry Punch, who seemed extremely excited about something.

“I’ve done it!” she said. “I’ve finally done it!”

“Done what?” Lyra asked.

“I’ve perfected the perfect holiday drink!” Berry said, with a giddy squeak at the end. “It’ll become a household hit at Hearth’s Warming parties!”

“I’m sure it will,” said Bon Bon, with a sardonic hint in her voice. “What’s it called?”

“Berry’s Festive Fizz! Cranberry wine with a splash of peppermint!”

“Ooh!” said Lyra, intrigued.

“Sounds festive, all right,” I said, “but if it’s all the same to you, I’ll stick with eggnog.”

“Smart choice,” said Berry, “since everypony knows what a colossal lightweight you are.”

“Hey!”

“I’m just kidding!” said Berry, laughing. “Not everypony can hold the hard stuff, trust me. Octavia, though, she’s got nerves of steel. You’d never be able to tell unless she was really sauced.”

“Are you saying Octavia drinks?” I asked, surprised.

“Only when she’s in the mood for it. She sometimes orders a bottle of my Jura all the way from Canterlot, says it’s finer than a lot of the ritzier brands up there. She’s so sweet.”

(Now there’s a potential idea…)

“Well, I’d better skedat. I gotta start labelling these bottles for sale. Bye!”

With that, Berry headed out the door.

“Cranberry and peppermint does sound rather unique,” said Bon Bon.

“Yeah, but it’s a shame she hasn’t gotten her hooves on some Golden Griffin Grapes yet," said Lyra. "Can you imagine the juices she could make from those?”

“Golden what now?” I asked.

“Golden Griffin Grapes,” said Lyra. “It’s a fruit found only in the Griffin Kingdom. Equestria gets a very limited export since they’re so rare, and they can only grow in the soil of the Kingdom. Still, even when picked, they last a long while, and I’ve heard they taste great!”

“And Berry wants to make a new drink out of it?”

“It’s been one of her lifelong passions ever since she heard of the stuff, just like mine was meeting a human, which you helped satisfy!”

“Aw, thanks, Lyra.”

“That just leaves your other crazy passion,” said Bon Bon, dryly.

“Seapony culture is not a crazy passion!” snapped Lyra. “It’s an ancient civilization filled with tradition that demands respect! Besides, you never take me with you when you go shopping anymore!”

“That’s because if you had your way, you’d be ransacking every antique shop in Equestria for anything even resembling a seapony. I’m doing the country, and our purses, a favor.”

“You’re such a buzzkill, Bonnie…”

(Sheesh, these two really know how to needle each other. Still, maybe I can find something seapony related for Lyra, and get in touch with Apollo about these Griffin Grapes.)

Tuesday, December 13
Octavia: Bottle of Berry’s Jura Wine
Berry Punch: Golden Griffin Grapes
Lyra: Seapony something


***


By the next day, thanks to contact info that was among my older assignments, I had written a letter to the council, asking Apollo for an import of Golden Griffin Grapes for Berry to use. I wasn’t sure how long it would take for a reply, but hopefully it would arrive soon enough. Speaking of, I couldn’t help but feel that, with Ironmane’s next visit, he might have something else for me to work on, and so close to Hearth’s Warming too. I honestly hoped he wasn’t going to be a Scrooge about this. 

Speaking of working during the holidays, Derpy, who I had given the letter to, seemed to be extra busy. I didn’t see her as often, since she was always going about this way and that to deliver mail, but the few times I did see her showed she was getting exhausted. I hoped earnestly that more pegasi were being called in to take turns with her route so that she wouldn’t work herself to the bone. 

She deserved something special for being such a hard-worker, something that would really appeal to her. Well, she did have a fondness for muffins, but I wasn’t too skilled with baking. I wished I’d asked Pinkie to show me how to bake; all the time I’d spent at Sugarcube Corner and I never bothered. Then again, maybe I could compromise; maybe it didn’t have to be muffins themselves, but something with a muffin motif. Perhaps something for the winter weather with a muffin design would suit my mail mare friend’s fancy. There had to be something like that in Ponyville, unless it was something I should see Rarity about.

Speaking of Rarity...well, I didn’t want to just saddle her with constant projects, but thinking about her got me to thinking about something I could do for the bowling team. True bowling teams always wore matching jerseys to indicate the team they were on, so why shouldn’t we have our own set? Yeah! I could assemble Big Macintosh, Magnum, Caramel, Meadow Song, and maybe even the Doctor, under one group on my gift list, and I could see if Rarity could design jerseys for them. Hopefully getting her that vermillion silk would make up for all the work.


***


While I was working that day, Pinkie bounced in to buy yet another bag of candy.

“Pinkie, how can you stand to eat so much candy?” I asked.

“Cuz I brush my teeth really good, so I don’t get cavities!” she said, opening her mouth to show me an astonishing set of pearly whites.

“Not quite what I meant,” I said. “I mean, don’t you ever get stomachaches?”

“Of course, silly. Remember the huge tummy-ache I had after your welcome party?”

“Ah, yes, who could forget?”

“But I’ve got Moonlight to share with me, since the babies are too young to eat candy. They don’t need that much sugar anyway, with how hyper they can get. Mrs. Cake says they really need a bungee seat for them.”

(Bungee seat? Now there’s an idea…)

While I was ringing her purchase up, Pinkie, looking this way and that in a sly way, leaned over the counter to whisper conspiratorially in my ear.

“I think I’ve figured out what you can get Fluttershy!” she said.

“Really? What?”

“I never even knew this myself, but she loves classical music!”

“Huh. Well, she does seem the type who would like tamer music. So, should I buy her a record or something?”

“No, that’s not what she’d really want, although Vinyl’s been looking for a copy of ‘Hoof-Stomp Rock of the 80s’ for a while now.”

(Oh really?)

“She said, and I quote,” and here she put on a perfect imitation of Fluttershy’s sweet-voiced mumbling, complete with fiddling with her mane in an awkward way, “‘Um, I know it might sound kind of silly, and I’m not saying this to give you something you have to do, but I would really, really love to see Octavia’s New Year’s concert.’”

“She wants tickets to see Octavia’s ensemble?”

“Yep-a-roosky! She loves music; she conducts her own bird choir, you know. I think she just prefers to keep her bits on hoof for her animals. She hardly ever treats herself, except on her spa days with Rarity.”

“Well, the next time I head up to Canterlot, I’ll see what I can do.”

“Great! Ooh, if somepony could get her those tickets, I just know she’d be thrilled! Hey, did you remember to add the extra mini peanut-butter cups this time?”

She was indicating her full-to-bursting candy bag.

“Yes, of course, don’t worry,” I said. “By the way, if I may ask, what would you want for Hearth’s Warming?”

“Me?” asked Pinkie, looking a little surprised. “Gosh, Davie, I don’t really need anything. I’ve got everything I need: wonderful friends, an amazing job, and the best talent a pony could ask for! What else could I need?”

So saying, she laid out her bits, picked up her candy bag, bid me adieu, and hopped out the door.

(Ah, she’s one of those. Still, gotta give her props for being humble. On the other hand, is there something she really does want, and she’s not being completely honest with me? Where’s a Magatama when you need one?)

Wednesday, December 14
Derpy: Something decorative and muffin-related
Bowling Team: Jerseys
Mr. and Mrs. Cake: Bungee seat for the twins
Vinyl: “Hoof-Stomp Rock of the 80s” record
Fluttershy: Tickets to Octavia’s New Year’s concert


***


Thursday brought me into contact with Twilight. She ordered a box of assorted candy canes, and as I brought them out, she admired the rainbow-swirled variety.

“Ooh, Bon Bon, these look amazing!” she said.

“Thanks, Twilight,” said Bon Bon, “but those aren’t quite perfect yet.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, curious.

“I’ve always wanted to try adding a little liquid rainbow to my rainbow-colored treats, but that stuff isn’t easy to come by. It’s rarely imported, even though they make an abundance of it in Cloudsdale.”

“I guess they just don’t want ponies getting carried away with it,” said Twilight. “After all, rainbows are an ingredient in that Love Poison recipe the Crusaders sneaked from me.”

“W-Wait a minute,” I said, perplexed. “You can liquefy rainbows?!”

“Sure, why?” asked Twilight.

“Back home, rainbows are just an optical illusion caused by sunlight after a rainstorm. The term ‘chasing rainbows’ means going after something you’ll never reach, because no matter how far or fast you run towards it, it never gets closer.”

“Wow. Weird,” said Lyra, who had been listening.

“Fascinating!” said Twilight. “Sounds like something else I may need to tell Princess Celestia about where you come from.”

“Speaking of, Twi,” I put in, “just as a hypothetical, what would you get the princesses for Hearth’s Warming?”

Twilight looked quite surprised.

“M-Me? Getting gifts for Princess Celestia and Princess Luna?”

“Just as a hypothetical, mind you,” I said, casually.

“Well, goodness. I brought it up with Princess Celestia once, perhaps, but she never gave me a straight answer. In fact, I think she was joking. She said she’d love a kit for practical jokes, and Luna would appreciate a new pillow, but she couldn’t have been serious. The pillow I can understand, but a joke kit? Princesses don’t have time for practical jokes!”

“Didn’t stop her from tricking the Cakes when she visited that one time,” said Lyra.

Twilight shot her a swift glare. It seemed to me that she held too high of a regard for Their Majesties to think of them as enjoying many frivolities. Still, it was something to think about. Would it be in bad taste if I took the Princess up on her challenge and get her a joke kit, along with another Sweet Dreams pillow for Luna? It wasn’t like I’d be risking banishment for it, right?

I had to shake myself back to my senses so I could ring up Twilight’s candy canes. What my unicorn friend didn’t know couldn’t hurt her.

“One more thing, Twi,” I went on.

“Yes?” she asked, thankfully out of her bad mood.

“I was thinking about Trixie. She’s on the road, but I’d love to send her a sentiment as well. What would you recommend, since she could be anywhere in Equestria?”

“Hmm…” mused Twilight, tapping her chin. “Now that you mention it, I have just read about a Homing Teleportation Spell for small objects.”

“Come again?”

“A spell that can transport small objects to the intended recipient. All you need is a clear mental image of who you’re sending it to, and the proper focus required for a standard teleportation spell. You could send her a nice Hearth’s Warming card that way if you want.”

“Great! I’ll swing by the library closer to Hearth’s Warming and we can give that a shot.”

Twilight beamed, paid for her candy canes, and took them with her out the door.

Thursday, December 15
Bon Bon: Liquid rainbow
Princess Celestia: Practical joke kit
Princess Luna: Sweet Dreams Pillow


***


I could hardly believe that my list of potential gifts was already nearly complete. I just had a few ponies left to decide for, and after work on Saturday, I could start a mass shopping spree to find the stuff I had already decided on. Princess Luna had been right! Two weeks could be as long as I needed if I used my time wisely. Still, I couldn’t help but feel I was being handed these opportunities at just the right time. On the other hand, they were invaluably timely, given how much closer to Hearth’s Warming it was.

On Friday, the only visitor of note was Screwball, who came in to buy her favorite chocolate-covered licorice. The real reason she had been so noticeable was because she was wearing a festive holiday sweater, with blue trees and green snowflakes. She did look kind of cute in it in her own silly way, so I just let Lyra prepare her favorite treat for her. I couldn’t help but wonder what really went on inside Screwball’s head. She did possess awareness of the world around her, but the laws of physics seemed completely reversed whenever she did anything. Freud would have had a field day with her. Heck, she’d probably be able to see more in those weird ink blot pictures than anyone ever could.

In fact...I wondered if they sold those ink blot cards in stores. I didn’t know if it would be mean-spirited or just kind of a joke, but she might like them for the surreal imagery. I paused my pondering long enough to bid Screwball goodbye as she left the shop.

Friday, December 16
Screwball: Ink blot cards


***


I awoke the next day feeling like Christmas (or, in this case, Hearth’s Warming) had already come, but for different reasons. Saturday (and pay day) was here at last! I had done the best I could to save my part-time earnings so that I could have a sizeable amount to use after work, and there were only a few ponies left on my list who I still wasn’t sure who to get gifts for. Well, technically, a few ponies plus an entire group. If I knew Moonlight, though, she’d love anything Daring Do-related. It just had to be something special, like maybe a complete set of the books, or some other related memorabilia. Mayor Mare worked long hours keeping the city going with the rest of the council, so she might like a nice, fancy coffee mug for when she was burning the midnight oil.

Speaking of Mayor Mare, I hadn’t brought it up before, but as of late, she had begun conducting tours around Ponyville for ponies I had never seen around town before. They were probably tourists coming to take a look around the place. I wouldn’t have taken much mind in this except for the fact that she made a point of making my house out to be a sightseeing spot, loudly proclaiming that it was the first human settlement in Ponyville history. This wowed her crowd of visitors, and I did what I could to keep out of sight, lest she want to have me answer questions. Still, it was part of a mayor’s job to promote tourism for their town, so I couldn’t exactly fault her, though I didn’t fancy becoming a ‘national landmark’.

As for the Round Table council, I had been strapped for individual ideas, so I thought it would be a nice gesture to send them the biggest bag of assorted candy from Bon Bon’s that could be managed. My only hope was that all of them had at least some form of sweet tooth, otherwise I might leave some of them offended.

Then came Pinkie...What was I to do about my best pony pal? I could get her a nice big bag of candy, too, but that wouldn’t have been enough. This was the season of giving, and I wanted to give her something that showed her just how much she meant to me as a friend, something to demonstrate my boundless gratitude for her friendship. However, she’d told me she’d had everything she wanted...but was that true?

Now that I thought about it at length, there was one thing she could desire the most that wasn’t in Ponyville: her family! Now there was an idea! I could surprise Pinkie by having her family come down to visit her! I could let them stay in my house, though I’d have to make the proper accommodations. Liking this idea more and more, I immediately set to work writing out a letter, since I didn’t have to be to work until noon.

“Dear Pie Family,
How have you been? This is Dave, Pinkie’s human friend. I know we didn’t get much of a chance to meet since I had to leave right away, but I’m hoping you might be interested in this idea I have for you. I think the best gift I can get Pinkie for Hearth’s Warming is you, so how would you like to come celebrate the holiday with her in Ponyville? It’d be up to you, of course, but I think it would be a great idea. Of course, I’m willing to allow you to stay in my home during your visit, and I’ll even show you around, if you want.
Hope to hear from you soon,
Yours sincerely,
Dave”

Sealing this up and addressing its envelope, I placed it in my mailbox to be sent out before leaving for work, my gifts list tucked safely in my pocket, and still imagining the look on Pinkie’s face if this worked.


***


Though I was anxious for the day to end, I kept to my work as stolidly as I could. Still, I couldn’t help but continually glance at the clock as the day wore on. It was like I was back in school, constantly glancing at the clock for class to end. If there was one thing it taught me, it was that no matter how much you stared at the clock, the time only seemed to go by a lot slower than normal.

At last, though, the day ended, and Bon Bon handed me my week’s pay. It felt glorious to hold it in my hands.

“I see that big smile on your face,” said Bon Bon, grinning. “You itching to do some shopping?”

“Like you wouldn’t believe, Bon Bon.”

“Well, then, I’ll see you tomorrow, if you still plan on continuing your piano lessons.”

“Of course! I’ll see you both then!”

“See ya, big guy!” said Lyra.

As Bon Bon and Lyra made for him, I hurried off for Barnyard Bargains, but was in such a rush that I accidentally knocked into a pony coming the other way. Luckily, I had my hand gripped around the opening of the bag, or the bits would have went flying. Regaining my equilibrium, I saw that I had bumped into Rarity, outfitted in a silvery hooded parka, knocking her on her rump in the snow.

“Oh, gosh!” I said, rushing to help her up. I’m so sorry, Rarity!”

“Don’t worry about it, darling,” she said. “I wasn’t really paying attention. What’s got you in such a rush?”

“Let’s just say I have a ton of shopping to do in so little time.”

“Ahh, that explains the hefty bits bag,” Rarity said, with a smile.

“Actually, now that I think about it, it’s lucky that I ran into you, Rarity,” I said. “There’s something I wanted to ask of you.”

“Of course! Ask away!”

“I have a couple clothing projects I had in mind, one for one pony, and the other for a group.”

“Hmm, I see,” said Rarity. “Well, let’s hear it, then.”

“The first is something with a muffin motif for Derpy.”

“Ohh, how darling!” Rarity cooed. “I like the sound of that very much. I could make it into a scarf for the dear girl. And the other?”

“A set of bowling jerseys for Big Macintosh, your dad, Caramel, Meadow Song, and the Doctor.”

“The Doctor? I didn’t know he bowled.”

“He did at our last game.”

“Well, Father has told me he’d love for the team to have matching shirts, but I’ve never been able to follow through on it. This might be the perfect chance! I’ll see what I can whip up before Hearth’s Warming, and for you, I’ll do it-”

“Free of charge?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. “I do appreciate it, Rarity, but you ought to at least get paid for your work.”

“I was actually going to say half-off,” said Rarity, going slightly pink at the cheeks.

“Oh! Ok, that sounds fair.”

“Wonderful. I’ll get right on it as soon as I get home. Ta, darling!”

And Rarity trotted purposefully off through the snow.

“Well, that’s another thing out of the way,” I said to myself. “And now, look out, Ponyville shopping district, cuz here I come!”

Saturday, December 17
Moonlight: Daring Do something
Mayor: Coffee mug
Round Table Council: Deluxe bag of candy
Pinkie: Visit from family

> Shopping and Piano Practice
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

With only one week until Hearth’s Warming, the store was packed with ponies purchasing presents and paraphernalia. Still, with my new weekly earnings, plus what I had left over from the week previous, stuffed into my coat, I wormed my way through the crowd with a shopping cart, not wishing to be pushy, though I’d have to be at least a little aggressive to make it through. As I went down the aisles, I felt like I was taking part in a game show, getting the correct items in the right amount of time. 

First of all, I returned to the bedding aisle to get another Sweet Dreams pillow for Princess Luna. Luckily there were still some left; must have been a popular brand. Hopefully Her Majesty would have a wonderful night’s sleep with this baby.

Speaking of babies, the infant care section was close by, full of diapers, jarred baby foods, and other baby needs. Along the wall nearby were strollers and buggies of all sorts, and it was there that I found what I was hoping for: a baby seat with bungee cords, designed for the little tykes to bounce themselves silly.

“Anything I can help you with, sir?” asked a store representative, coming up to me.

“Oh! Hello,” I said. “Do you have bungee seats made for two babies?”

“Yes, we do. Let me just check in storage.”

The employee walked off, and about 10 minutes later, he returned with a big box marked ‘Springhooves Double Baby Bungee’.

“How’s this?” he asked.

“Perfect! Thanks a bunch.”

“You’re welcome, sir. If anything else comes up, don’t hesitate to ask.”

With the bungee seat packed into my cart, I went to the section devoted to clothing to find a pair of wool hoof warmers for Granny Smith. There were many that were a solid color, but also plenty in festive designs, some nice, others rather garish. At last, I picked out a nice white pair that matched her mane.

Since the home goods section was close by, I stopped over to pick out a nice coffee mug for Mayor Mare. There was a row of festive ones, but the one I thought would appeal to her most was one labelled ‘The Boss’. She might get a kick out of that. While I was at it, I also grabbed one that read ‘#1 Teacher’ for Cheerilee.

With that done, I headed to the electronics section, which was full of vintage phonographs, radios, and boxy televisions. It made me feel old to think that I remembered models like these, but only because they had been in the cartoons I loved as a kid, or else were owned by my grandparents. One part was devoted to old vinyl records, and I hurried over to scope out the record I was hoping would be there. Sure enough, there was only one copy of ‘Hoof-Stomping Rock of the 80s’ left. As I took it out, a store employee noticed and placed a note over the now-empty placeholder to state that they would need to restock.

That was nearly everything on the list that could be bought here, but I wanted to make a quick check of something. After scoping about the entire store for nearly a half hour, I finally came across what I was looking for: a pack of those Rorschach ink blot psychology cards, packaged for mindless fun. I grabbed them for Screwball, then, after grabbing a few rolls of wrapping paper, made for the checkout, feeling lighter in my heart, and preparing to be in my change pocket.


***


With that done, and the night still young, I hurried home to drop off my Barnyard Bargain purchases and assign cards to them, then headed back out into the shopping district. The first thing I did was head to Quills and Sofas to buy the quill set I had placed a hold on. Mr. Davenport was very pleased, and though it made a bit of a dent in my money on-hand, I was satisfied to have gotten something Twilight had been yearning for; she’d be so happy.

Then I made a stop at the local joke shop. I had never been inside it before, but it was just like what I imagined a joke shop should look like: shelves packed with fake eyeballs, dribble glasses,, whoopie cushions, Groucho glasses, fake vomit, wax lips and mustaches, sneezing powder, disappearing ink, cans that spit those spring snakes, and much more. The counter had a display case of wind-up chattering teeth, joy buzzers, and gag candies, like ‘exploding chocolates’ or gum that turned your tongue different colors. The proprietor was a jovial-looking old pony dressed in vibrant colors that would have been seen only on a clown’s wallpaper.

“Welcome, sonny!” he said as I approached. “First time here?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Well, put ‘er there, chum!”

He held out his hoof, and I instinctively gripped it to shake it, but an unpleasant tingling shot up my arm, mixed with a brief but sharp stab of pain.

“YEOWCH!!”

The old pony wheezed with laughter, and I saw a joy buzzer on his hoof.

“Still our #1 seller!” he said. “Gets ‘em every time!”

“Sure got me,” I muttered.

“So, what can I do for ya?”

“What would you recommend for a general dose of pranking?” I asked him. “Like, the kind of stuff any jokester should have on hoof?”

“Ahh, an all-around pranker, eh? For that, my friend, I’d recommend the Prankmaster General’s Gift Basket, filled with the essentials for a day full of yuks!”

With that, he hefted up a basket full of an assortment of the items I’d already seen: disappearing ink, sneezing powder, a dribble glass, a can of spring snakes labelled as a jar of peanuts, chattering teeth, a joy buzzer, a whoopie cushion, and some trick gum.

“Hearth’s Warming Special,” he added. “25% off all purchases over 10 bits!”

“Wow, really?” I asked, fishing out my bits. “Thanks!”

“Happy pranking!” he called, after I’d paid and was making for the door.

“That old guy must have one of the most fun jobs in the world,” I muttered. “He gets to prank ponies, then sell the same pranks to them.”

I looked down at my list as I headed for home. Practically half of the addressees listed had been taken care of. I could take care of the rest of them next week, before or after I left for Canterlot, except, of course, for those items I would need to head to Canterlot for. Perhaps if I asked Bon Bon nicely enough, she’d allow me some time off before Hearth’s Warming. The piano lesson would be a perfect time to ask. I’d also have to order that chocolate fountain for the Crusaders soon.

Saturday, December 17
Princess Celestia: Practical joke kit
Princess Luna: Sweet Dreams Pillow
Screwball: Ink blot cards
Mr. and Mrs. Cake: Bungee seat for the twins
Vinyl: “Hoof-Stomp Rock of the 80s” record
Granny Smith: Hoof warmers
Mayor: Coffee mug
Cheerilee: Coffee mug


***


Sunday morning dawned. There was only one week left before Hearth’s Warming, but I was feeling all right. Luna’s nighttime intervention had really done me a lot of good. In one week, I had taken care of nearly all of my Ponyville obligations, leaving mainly those in Canterlot to be taken care of. I didn’t think Berry would keep her shop open today, so I decided I’d ask about the bottle of Jura tomorrow. Therefore, I waited for Minister Ironmane’s visit.

Right on schedule, the Minister of Foreign Affairs appeared at my door with my bag of dues. This time, however, he just handed it to me without a word. There was a rather grim expression on his face.

“Is something the matter, Minister?” I asked.

“I’m afraid so,” said Ironmane. “This Equestria-dragon peace issue is beginning to spiral in a completely unprecedented direction. Brutus is doing all he can, but talk is beginning to surface of the dragons simply flying into Equestria and taking their fill of the land’s gems.”

“W-What?! They can’t do that! It would completely refute what we’ve spent all this time working for!”

“I quite agree, but they’re growing more and more restless, especially with winter now upon them. Brutus is in dire need of a pony truly knowledgeable in gemstones; where they can be readily located and distributed.”

“I don’t understand why these dragons are so gem-crazy,” I said. “Twilight told me Spike knows the flavors of certain gems, but are they that tasty?”

“For a dragon, they are a delicacy fit for a king. Their teeth are sharp enough to chew through stone, and they must gain some dietary benefit from eating minerals to keep their scales tough.”

"If they're so important to them, why isn't there a store or restaurant out there that just serves gem-based dishes to hungry dragons?”

I had meant it partially as a joke, to be truthful. Ironmane looked at me as if I were insane, but just as he was about to give vent to what I presumed was a tirade against my novice way of thinking, he paused, closed his mouth, and put a hoof to his chin in thought. He wasn’t actually taking my idea seriously, was he?

“Er, Minister?”

“Mm...a gem-themed restaurant...That would be a convenient way to give the dragons what they want...David, you might be on to something with this!”

Was he...complimenting me?

“I...I am?”

“Elaborate for me. What did you mean by ‘gem-based dishes’?”

“Well, you know, food made from gemstones or with gems in them,” I said, while also trying to think of some things like that on the fly. “Like, what about salad with crushed mineral powder instead of parmesan cheese, or a cake studded with gems in the frosting?”

“Yes...unconventional by pony logic, but potentially ingenious by dragon logic. But who could prepare such dishes?”

“Well, I heard the Cakes once made a cupcake with sapphire frosting for Spike’s birthday,” I said.

“Intriguing,” said Ironmane. “That could prove useful, but who would be able to find the gems to use? I have no doubt the Cakes are bakers of renown, but I have heard nothing of any gem-finding prowess.”

I still couldn’t believe he was accepting this insane train of logic, but he saw merit in it, and he was wiser than me. Besides, didn’t I already know a pony who could help in this, somepony who knew a lot about gems?

...Yes, I did!

“Well, sir, I know one pony in Ponyville who’s well-versed in jewels.”

“And who might that be?”

“Sparkler Hooves, eldest daughter of mailmare Derpy Hooves. She works as the jeweler in town.”

“A jeweler? ...Now why didn’t we think of that? Do you suppose she’d be agreeable to a meeting with Brutus?”

“I’m not sure, sir. I’ll have to ask her myself, and I’ll send you word once I do so.”

“Thank you, David. Princess Celestia and the rest of the council shall be notified of your contribution to this debate.”

“R-Really?” I asked, feeling embarrassed at such praise. “Well, gosh, it was nothing, sir.”

“Nothing?” he asked, sounding almost incredulous. “If this plan goes through, it could mean the resolution of a long-time strain between neighboring nations! Surely you can imagine the impact it would have!”

“You mean peace between ponies and dragons? But what about Spike? He’s lived among ponies all his life.”

“He is a thankful exception to the divide between our races, but he was raised among ponies. What I mean is unity between ponies and dragons who have never had interaction with our kind. Years of mistrust brought to a unanimous end!”

“Oh. Yeah, that would be something.”

"I’ll come see you with an update of the situation. Good day, David.”

“Until next time, sir.”

As Ironmane walked away, however, I heard him say to himself,

“If this does work, I may have a chance to attend Octavia’s next concert after all.”

So Minister Ironmane liked Octavia’s music as much as Fluttershy? Maybe I could get two sets of tickets to her concert. I just hoped I could afford it...


***


After lunch, I knocked at the door of their home. This time, it was Bon Bon who answered, probably to keep Lyra from playing her password prank.

“Hello, Dave,” she said. “Please, come in. I hope you don’t mind, but we have another guest as well.”

Looking inside, I saw who it was: Rainbow Dash, sitting on the couch and chatting it up with Lyra.

“Swelled up like a melon!” Rainbow was saying. “Out of commission for three days! We had to call in another pegasus to pick up the slack.”

“Sheesh,” murmured Lyra. “What was it?”

“Turns out he was allergic to the pecans in his girlfriend’s cookies. Man, she felt awful that her cooking did that to him, but I heard him say he’s not even mad at her.”

The two looked up as I entered and removed my winter gear.

“Hiya!” said Lyra.

“Hey there, Dave!” said Rainbow. “Fancy seeing you here!”

“I was just about to say the same thing, Rainbow.”

“Lyra told me how you’ve become a piano prodigy, so I thought I’d see it for myself.”

“Oh? Do you play piano?”

“Eh, my dad tried to have somepony tutor me when I was a filly, but it didn’t work out. It’s just as well. I didn’t wanna be another frilly-dressed little show-filly performing at recitals.”

“I remember my first recital,” said Lyra, fondly. “I was so nervous, but I played my piece anyway. The crowd loved it...and then I puked in the backstage bathroom.”

“Well, at least it was after the performance,” I said, a little grossed out.

“Yeah. That’d have been messy otherwise...But enough about my stage fright. Let’s get to playing!”

She gestured grandly to the piano bench, which I sat myself down upon. Lyra scooched up beside me, while Bon Bon and Rainbow sat at the couch, watching attentively.

“Show us that human magic again, Dave,” said the unicorn, proudly.

Cracking my knuckles, I set my fingers over the keys. I was ready for that next burst of inspiration to transmit itself into musical beauty.

...The seconds ticked by, and nothing happened.

There was no flash of musical remembrance in my brain, no song that surfaced that could flow to my fingers without effort. It was like there was a door where that inspiration had sprung from last time, but now it was barred shut, and some gorilla-faced bouncer was blocking it off from my mind’s eye.

I could feel the ponies’ eyes on me, waiting.

“What’s the matter, Dave?” asked Lyra. “Play something. We won’t judge.”

“Er…”

Feeling like I might disappoint them if I didn’t do something, I tried to play a slow, easy piece. Unfortunately, the keys I played didn’t flow right. Imagine Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata played by a kitten traipsing across the keys, distracted by a laser pointer. No matter how I strained my brain, nothing came to me. There was no correction, no idea of a song piece, nothing!

“Dude, what happened?” Lyra asked. “You played so well last time.”

“I don’t know,” I said, hopelessly. “Last time, everything just clicked. Now, I feel like I’m trying to tread through raw sewage…”

“Well, we all have our off days,” said Bon Bon, trying to sound positive. “It wasn’t...too bad.”

Rainbow, for her part, was laughing herself silly, kicking her back legs and clutching her belly, her body threatening to fall off of the couch.

“Rainbow Dash!” Bon Bon scolded. “Don’t be so rude!”

“That was hilarious!” said Rainbow. “I really wish I’d been around to hear how it went the first time! I didn’t even know if it would work!”

Wait, what did she mean?

“If what would work?” I asked, turning to face the pegasus.

Rainbow’s laughing died away when she heard me ask, and when she saw the serious look on my face, she became rather sheepish.

“Did I say that? You must have misheard me,” she said.

“Rainbow…” I said, sternly. “Is there something you’re not telling me?”

“It was just a joke…” Rainbow said, weakly.

“What was a joke?!” I asked.

“And besides, Lyra was the one who gave me the idea!”

Bon Bon and I looked at Lyra, who looked just as surprised as we did.

“I don’t know what she’s talking about!” she said.

“Aw, don’t play innocent,” said Rainbow. “You’re the one who told me Dave was going to start taking piano lessons.” 

“Well, yeah, I did, but what’s that got to do with anything?” asked Lyra.

“It gave me a great idea. I figured I’d try to give the big guy a leg up on the practicing, at least for a little bit, so I went to see Zecora. She’s got a ton of potions, and she recently started making recipes that help ponies become talented at something for a little while. She told me she was inspired by Apple Bloom’s Cutie Pox outbreak. There were a ton on the shelf, so I thought why not one that could let Dave play the piano for a bit? I didn’t know how long it was gonna last, cuz Zecora told me the effects were inconsistent, so I gave it to Dave as soon as I could. I figured it’d be a hilarious prank for him to think he’d mastered piano playing, and then tried to play it again after it wore off!”

“What in the world are you talking about?” I asked. “You never gave me any…”

And that’s when it hit me.

“...The bottle of water...You spiked that with one of Zecora’s potions, didn’t you?!”

“Bingo!” chortled Rainbow Dash. “I wasn’t sure if you’d notice!”

Wow...that was incredibly elaborate. She’d got me good. All I could do was put my face in my hands and groan in exasperation.

“Hey...you’re not mad, are you?” asked Rainbow, sounding much calmer.

“Mad? Well, I don't like the fact that I was deceived like that...but I can't help but appreciate that you wanted to help me. Besides, you got me really well. I never saw it coming."

“Heh, thanks,” said Rainbow, proudly. “If it makes you feel any better, I’ll bet you’re gonna be a real whiz at this. That’s why I wanted to help you along a bit.”

I looked at her. There was total sincerity in her voice and face. She had meant well, even if she did do it rather underhandedly. Er, under-hoofed-ly?

"Just...promise me you won't do it again, ok?" I asked.

"Promise," said Rainbow, going through the motions of a Pinkie Promise.

“Now that that childishness is out of the way,” said Bon Bon, wearily, “can we proceed?”

“Yeah, let’s,” said Lyra. “No more enhancements this time. We work from scratch.”

“Right.”

I was about to start playing, when a thought occurred to me.

“Bon Bon?”

"Yes?" she asked, looking up.

“Do you think it would be possible for me to have a day or two off this week? I need to take a trip to Canterlot.”

Bon Bon didn’t even need time to think about it.

“Funny you should bring that up! I actually have an engagement I have to keep this week, but an exact date hasn’t been set up yet. When I learn more about it, I’ll let you know. And if you’re worrying about having your pay docked, I can give you your wages in advance, and have it payed back at the right time. That sound fair?”

“Very fair!” I said, gratefully. “Thanks, Bon Bon!”

Bon Bon smiled warmly, and Lyra nudged my arm.

“Come on, bro, you ready?”

“Yeah. Let’s try again.”

And for the next hour, I strained along with my practicing, the air in the house filled with bad notes, Lyra’s coaching, and Rainbow’s laughing.

Sunday, December 18
Minister Ironmane: Tickets to Octavia’s concert


> A Busy Sunday
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well, my piano lesson could have been a lot worse. Lyra had told me I was making progress, but I still saw no difference in my playing. When I eventually took my leave, Rainbow decided to accompany me, saying she had to get going as well. We walked together in silence for a time, then, at the same instant, we both said,

“Can I ask you something?”

Followed by,

“You first.”

Then,

“No, you.”

Until finally, with a gracious gesture, I allowed Rainbow to speak first.

“Do you mind if I head up to Canterlot with you when you go? I’ve got some shopping I’ve gotta do there.”

“You sure it’s not just to browse around the Wonderbolt store again?” I asked, wryly.

Rainbow rolled her eyes.

“I had to promise myself I wouldn’t,” she said. “Me plus Wonderbolt merchandise on Hearth’s Warming equals splurge of the century. As awesome as that would be, I’ve got some gift ideas that I’ve gotta budget properly. I can’t go nuts.”

“Wow. That’s really loyal of you, Rainbow,” I said, earning a grin from the pegasus. “I know just how you feel.”

“Yeah?”

“I’ve still got quite a few gifts to get, but I can only get some in Canterlot. That’s kinda why I took the job at Bon Bon’s. I love helping her and Lyra, but I can’t use my stipend to splurge on gifts.”

“I getcha. So, can I go with you?”

“Of course! If anypony else wants to come, they’re welcome. Maybe I’ll ask Twilight. I have to see her about something anyway.”

“All righty!” said Rainbow. “Now, what were you gonna ask me?”

“Oh! Right! Do you think there’s a way I might be able to get my hands on some liquid rainbow?”

“Liquid rainbow?” Rainbow asked, puzzled. “Why do you want that?”

“I personally don’t, but I heard Bon Bon say she wants to use some with her baking. I thought it’d make the perfect gift for her.”

“Mm…” Rainbow murmured in thought. “Yeah, I think I can set you up with some. Being chief weather-mare of Ponyville’s got its perks, after all. Thing is, raw liquid rainbow is some powerful stuff, but if Bon Bon can work it into candy, I’ll be super impressed!”

“Thanks, Rainbow. I’ll let you know when Bon Bon says I can have my time off.”

“All right. See ya, bud!”

And with that supersonic roar that usually accompanied her flying, Rainbow took off. As for me, I still had some ponies I needed to see and speak to before it was too late. 

First off was Berry Punch, so I headed for her juice shop. When I arrived, it was to find several ponies leaving with her new holiday drink stuffed into their saddlebags or held with their unicorn magic, whatever the case may be. The Earth pony was delighted to see me, and even more delighted to accept an order for a bottle of her Jura wine, to be sent to Octavia. 

“And since it’s a gift from you,” she said, “I’ll send it free of charge.”

“Really? Berry, you don’t have to-”

“I know, but I want to,” she said, with a sincere smile.

Who could say no to that?

“Well, thanks, Berry. I really appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome, and I’ll bet Octavia will really appreciate the Jura. It can be stressful when you’re playing in front of thousands of ponies.”

With that, I bid adieu to the friendly brewer and directed my steps to the library. A festive wreath was already hung on the front door, and I could hear the tinkle of ornaments through the door before I knocked. After a few moments of waiting, Spike opened up, wearing a pair of fake reindeer antlers on his head.

“Hi, Dave!” he greeted. 

“Hiya, Spike. Nice antlers.”

“Heheh, thanks. Twilight and I are just decorating the library. Did you wanna come in?”

“Yeah, I had something to ask Twilight about. Thanks.”

The little dragon showed me inside, and I looked about at the interior, which was festooned with garlands, holly, tinsel, and ribbons. Twilight, wearing a Santa Claus-esque hat, was just levitating a golden star out of a box beside a decorated evergreen tree in the center.

(A tree within a tree? Tree-ception?)

Twilight looked up as we entered, setting the star down gently.

“Hello, Dave!” she said.

“Hi, Twi. I hope this isn’t a bad time.”

“Not at all. All that’s left for now is the star on top.”

“Ooh! Let me do it, Twilight!” pleaded Spike, raising his claw eagerly like a little boy wanting to ask his teacher a question. 
“Please?”

“Of course, Spike,” said Twilight, giggling at his antics. “I saved it just for you. Come here.”

Beaming, Spike rushed over to Twilight and picked up the star. The unicorn then screwed her face up in concentration, and Spike became enveloped in her magic aura. Slowly and steadily, he was lifted off the ground until he was level with the treetop, and he proudly stuck the star onto it. Twilight brought him back to the floor.

“Good job, Spike!” she said, giving him a playful noogie, then added, turning to me, “So what did you need, Dave?”

“I’m going to take a couple days off this week to do some shopping in Canterlot, once Bon Bon decides when. Rainbow Dash is coming with me, so I wondered if you’d like to come as well.”

“Ohh, bringing back the old crew from your first visit?” she asked, teasingly. “Sure, I should be able to find time to come up there with you. Just let me know when and I’ll be ready.”

“Great! Also...” 

I hesitated. Should I ask her? Was there even any hope of a positive answer?

“Is something wrong?” Twilight asked.

“Well, uh...there was something else I wanted to ask about,” I said, fidgeting my hands together.

“Yes?”

“As you may have remembered, during our Q&A, I said that my world celebrates a holiday just like Hearth’s Warming, called Christmas. It’s a time of giving, family, and togetherness. What I’m trying to get at is...has there been any change in your look into-”

“No,” Twilight cut me off, sadly. “I’m sorry, Dave, but nothing’s come up. The cosmos are as uncooperative as ever.”

“Oh,” I said, feeling my spirits drop.

It was a long shot anyways. She’d have said something if anything had changed. I felt her put a hoof on my hand.

“I can’t begin to imagine how you must feel, spending the holidays away from your family.” 

With a sigh, I said,

“As long as they know where I am and that I’m safe and sound, that’ll have to do. That’s what sending the letter back was all about. You’ve done more than enough for me by even allowing me to do that, Twilight.”

It was more or less true, but inside, my guts were burning at the thought that I’d be missing Christmas with my family. As much as these ponies helped me adapt and adjust, I couldn’t just forget my true roots willy-nilly. Still, I had to put on a brave face for this situation, and be an adult about it. I didn’t think it heartless, but mature.

Twilight smiled kindly, but the smile faded as she looked closer into my face.

“Are you feeling all right, Dave?”

“Hm? What do you mean?”

“You just look...so tired,” she said, rearing up and putting a gentle hoof to my cheek. “There’s bags under your eyes. Have you been sleeping well?”

“Are there? I hadn’t noticed. I guess I’ve just been stressing myself out over Hearth’s Warming coming up, trying to find gifts for everypony, and I do mean everypony.”

“Oh, Dave, you’re just too sweet,” said Twilight, getting back on all fours. “You don’t have to run yourself ragged over something like that.”

“Well, that’s what this trip to Canterlot fixes. I’ll have practically everything off of my list, if I can find it all.”

“All right, then. Let me know when your days off will be, and I’ll be ready.”

“Ok. See you later, Twi. Goodbye, Spike.”

“Bye!” called Spike. 

He was up on a ladder, adjusting a bit of garland that had come loose from its anchor point on the wall.

“Spike, I can do that,” said Twilight, looking up at him. “I don’t want you hurting yourself.”

“I’m fine, Twi-whoops!”

In one swift motion, Spike lost his balance and tumbled to the floor. Luckily, he was intercepted by a box still full of holiday hangings, sending a cloud of pine needles flying from his impact. Twilight rushed over to check on him, and the dragon emerged, spitting out pine needles like one spits out water from taking a dive. He sheepishly chuckled at his pony guardian, while she gave me a wearied smile that said ‘He’s fine’. With that assurance, I took my leave.


***


Since I was still in the midst of Ponyville, I decided to spy out one of these antique shops I heard Bon Bon and Lyra talking about. If their argument held true, I might be able to find something seapony-related for my nutty but sweet unicorn friend.

It took a bit of time, but I finally located a shop that looked like it had been around longer than its neighbors. Its exterior was of faded brown wood, but still intact shape-wise, and the sign above it read ‘Bric-a-Brac’s Knickknacks’. I was almost irresistibly reminded of Mr. Charrington’s shop from ‘1984’, but I doubted this place would have a secret hidden room upstairs with a telescreen behind a steel engraving, or that this ‘Bric-a-Brac’ would be an agent of the Thought Police in disguise. At least, I hoped not.

The air inside smelled musty and kind of like mothballs, the sort of smell you’d expect when looking around an attic full of forgotten junk. The shelves were lined with old books, statues, figures, and clothing, while suits of armor, paintings, and racks of weapons lined the wall. I didn’t like the way some of the paintings were leering at me, even if they were just canvas and paint. My inner cartoon junkie couldn’t help but imagine the eyes of those portraits moving, like in the old Scooby Doo cartoons.

“Welcome! Is there anything I can assist you with?”

I gave a jump. The voice was soft-spoken, but came out of nowhere. Looking about, I saw the owner of the voice: a wizened unicorn stallion with a mustache and eyebrows so bushy, they masked his mouth and eyes. It was a wonder he could even see me.

“Are you Mr. Bric-a-Brac?” I asked.

“That’s what it says on my birth certificate,” said the stallion, chuckling wheezily. “Now, what brings you around here? I hope you’ll excuse me, but we currently don’t have any items from human civilizations. Very hard to come by.”

“Er, that’s all right,” I said. “I’m looking for something for a friend. She’s very interested in seapony culture.”

“Ahh, the seaponies!” said Bric-a-Brac, fondly. “A fine culture, indeed. It’s a shame that all we have left to remember their legacy by is a few scattered mementos, but I luckily possess some of them. Now, let me see…”

He ambled about the shelves, muttering absent-mindedly to himself. I was still amazed how he was able to spy anything from under those eyebrows of his, but perhaps he was so used to it that he had learned to compensate.

“No...no...oh, I’d forgotten about that...Now, how did that get here...Aha! Here we are!”

He pulled down a smooth, ruby-red box from atop a shelf and brought it over. The box itself was adorned with what looked like a giant seashell on the lid. There was even a vague, salty sea smell about it. It glistened in the sunlight as he held it up.

“This was once owned,” said Bric-a-Brac, “by a seapony princess. The box itself is marvellous, but the real treasure lies within.”

With that, he slowly opened the lid, and I couldn’t help letting out a soft gasp at what I saw inside. Normally, I wouldn’t have for what it was, but the way it looked was another matter. It looked like an ordinary hair comb, but it was made of a silvery substance that glimmered in the glow of the sunlight upon it. The handle was studded with tiny sea-green gemstones.

“Wow…” I breathed.

“Made of real pearl,” said Bric-a-Brac, proudly.

“She’d love it,” I said, “but it must cost a fortune, even without the box.”

“Normally it would,” said Bric-a-Brac, closing the lid, “but business has been rather slow. Nopony seems to take much stock in the olden days anymore.”

“What, are you kidding?” I asked. “I love old stuff, and I know my friend will like this. Name your price, sir.”

Bric-a-Brac’s mustache crinkled into what was unmistakably a smile.

“For your lady friend, son, I’m willing to part with it for 15 bits.”

“Consider it a deal,” I said.

I was heading for the checkout counter, when something else caught my eye. It was a small wooden mask, though it must have been quite old. It was painted very fine and intricately, though the colors had faded a little over time. The eyes looked like they were closed in contentment, and there was a small smile on the lips.

“Excuse me, sir,” I said, “but what’s that mask there?”

“Mm?” murmured Bric-a-Brac, looking round. “Ah, that! That is an authentic Zebrafican mask. It stands for ‘friendship’ or ‘companionship’.”

(A Zebrafican mask that represented friendship or companionship? If that doesn’t spell ‘gift for Zecora’, I don’t know what does!)

“How much for it?” I asked.

“Very eager, aren’t you? chuckled Bric-a-Brac. “I’ll let that one go for...8 bits.”

“Deal!” I said, as he gingerly picked up the mask as well.

We went to the checkout counter, where I fished out 23 bits from my coat pocket and handed them to Bric-a-Brac. He counted them out, nodded in satisfaction, and packaged up the mask and comb box for me.

“Thank you very much,” I said, accepting the packages.

“No, my dear boy, thank you,” said Bric-a-Brac. “It does this old heart good to see youth still interested in the days gone by. Come again.”

I took my leave of the old stallion, carefully carrying the wrapped packages as if they were made of china. I just knew Lyra would love the comb, but I wondered if she would even use it. She didn’t look like the kind of mare who brushed her mane, but then, why would she use such a priceless antique? Antiques were usually meant to be admired, so this would still suit her nicely. As for Zecora, I didn’t know if she already had a mask like this one, but, since she would know what it means, I hoped she would appreciate the gesture.


***


With that business out of the way, my next destination lay in the Hooves household. I could only hope Sparkler wouldn’t feel too overwhelmed being asked to perform a duty that would serve the country and potentially bring about peace between two nations. The sarcastic part of my brain chimed in at this:

(Nah, of course she won’t feel overwhelmed. It’s like asking to borrow a cup of sugar. ‘Hello, Sparkler. Would you mind lending your knowledge of gems to patch up a dispute between ponies and dragons? Just thought I’d ask, if you’re not too busy.’)

As I approached the Hooves home, I could see that the snow fort was beginning to melt away. I was actually kind of surprised it had managed to stay up that long. Scootaloo and Dinky had been very diligent at maintaining its structure. The kids were nowhere to be seen, however; they were probably inside, warming themselves.

I knocked at the door, and was met by an explosive duo of sneezes from the inside. The door cracked open, revealing Sparkler. Lucky me!

“Oh, hello, Dave,” she said, opening it wider. “Sorry for that. Our home is currently quarantined for a double case of colds.”

“Scootaloo and Dinky?” I asked.

“Yep. Thank Celestia their vacation’s started, and that Mom hasn’t caught it too, otherwise I don’t know what we’d do.”

“This might be a bad time to bring this up, then,” I said, warily.

“Bring what up?” asked Sparkler, stepping outside and shutting the door.

“Well, I don’t know if you’ve heard anything about it, but Princess Celestia has been trying to negotiate a peace treaty with the dragons, with promises of shared gems.”

“Is that so?”

“Yeah, but we’ve been having trouble finding enough to satisfy them. Now, I had proposed the idea to my superior, Minister Ironmane, to start up restaurants for dragons to enjoy gem-based cuisine, and he thinks it could work.”

“Ooh,” said Sparkler, sounding interested. “Very clever!”

“Heh, thanks. The only thing is, we still need somepony who has enough knowhow about gemstones as to find the most abundant stockpiles, as well as the most delectable by dragon standards, to use. Out of all the ponies I can think of, you, Sparkler Hooves, are just such a pony.”

I waited for her reaction. She just stared at me, blinking in surprise.

“Me?” she finally asked. “Find gems for dragons? For the sake of Equestria? Goodness, Dave, that’s not something I can say yes or no to lightly…”

“I understand that,” I said, “but you’re the best pony for this situation. You’ve got a lot of knowhow about what makes a good gemstone. Remember that lexicon of jewelry lingo you were throwing our way when the Crusaders and I came to help out at your store? Plus, you must have as good a head on your shoulders to be able to find all of those jewels to be brought in for cleaning and reshaping.”

Sparkler’s already pink cheeks turned a deeper shade at this praise.

“But what about Rarity?” she asked. “Wouldn’t she be just as good an option? She’s always hunting for gems to use in her outfits.”

“That’s true,” I assented, “but her use for them’s purely cosmetic. Besides, meaning no offense to her, but Rarity wouldn’t be the best choice for two reasons. First, she’s got enough on her plate making outfits to be fussing about gem-hunting. Second, I doubt she’d be thrilled to know the gemstones she would be collecting were just intended for dragon food.”

“Mm...I don’t know, Dave. I’m just not sure.”

“Well, you don’t have to decide right away,” I said. “Give it some thought, and get back to me. Ok?”

“All right. I’ll definitely think about it.”

While not entirely confident, there was an affirmative note in her voice that gave me some hope.

“Sparkleeeer!” Dinky’s voice whined. “We ran out of tissues!”

“Already?” Sparkler asked, more to herself, then sighed. “Sorry, Dave, duty calls.”

“Should I fetch a doctor?” I offered.

“No thanks,” said Sparkler, with a smile. “We already have one.”

“You do? Well, you’re sure lucky. See you.”

Sparkler went back inside, closing the door behind her, but not quickly enough to shield another bout of sneezes. I hoped I wasn’t putting her in a bad spot, having to think about a nation-altering decision while dealing with two little fillies with snot-clogged sinuses. Must be tough to be the elder sibling. I made a mental note to, once I returned home, tell my older sister how much I appreciated her putting up with me all these years.


***


Once back inside, I went over my list again to check and see if everything I could in Ponyville had been gotten. Rarity was probably working on Derpy’s muffin scarf and the bowling jerseys, and Rainbow Dash was going to see about getting me the liquid rainbow. That left the chocolate fountain for the Crusaders and the deluxe bag of candy for the council, all of which could be gotten easily. That then left Pinkie’s family visiting, confirmation on the Golden Griffin Grapes, and everything else in Canterlot to take care of. I was right on track!

As I was putting my list away, there came a knock on my front door.

“Can’t be Sparkler,” I muttered, “unless she decided that easily.”

Making sure no gifts were out in plain sight, I went to the door and opened it up. There stood Moonlight, looking as chipper as ever.

“Hello, Dave!”

“Hi, Moonlight, come on in! You’re looking hale and hearty today,” I added, as she stepped inside.

“That’s because it’s almost Hearth’s Warming! I can’t wait!”

She unfurled her wings, bristling with excitement. I didn’t know what it was, but it felt like there was something different about her. It wasn’t her mane again; it was still in those cute pigtails she had decided to go with. When she took off her winter gear, I could see what it was. 

When I’d first met her, she was a bone-thin, scrawny thing, even skinnier than Fluttershy. Now she seemed to have grown a bit. Her limbs and body were thicker; not fat, but more healthy-looking, kind of like Trixie when she was recovering herself. Her wings even seemed to be fluffier and more pronounced than before. She had grown up quite a bit from the frightened mare I had met a few months ago.

“What’s wrong, Dave?” Moonlight asked, cocking her head.

“Huh? Oh, nothing. I just...you’re looking very nice today.”

Moonlight looked slightly surprised, then smiled bashfully.

“Thank you,” she said.

“Are you ready to continue the story?” I asked.

“You bet I am!” said my pegasus pal.

She took her usual spot on the couch while I grabbed The Batpony King from where I’d left it last. With the two of us settled in place, the book between us, we dove right in.


***


“‘...It would take a hundred years to uncover all of the secrets King Pferdermaus’ castle held, but Daring could rest easy knowing that at least one mystery had been solved, and that the reputation of the good king would repair itself over time. The curse of Count de Volblutt was extinguished at last.’”

I closed the book with satisfying finality, and Moonlight was the first to speak up again.

“Wow. So Pferdermaus wasn’t Volblutt after all.”

“Took me by surprise,” I said. “Although, he didn’t really help ease the suspicions around him by keeping a hutch of vampire fruit bats.”

“Yeah,” said Moonlight, giving a shudder that had nothing to do with the cold.

*Knock-knock*

“Now who could that be?” I muttered.

I got up to answer the door while Moonlight stretched, making her joints crack and pop. Opening the door up, I found Sparkler standing there, looking oddly resolute.

“Oh, hey, Sparkler,” I said. “What’s up?”

“I gave it some thought, Dave,” she said, “and talked it over with Mom. She and I both feel you’re right.”

“Huh?”

“I want to help out this dragon business like you said I should. I’ll talk about it with Minister...Ironmane, was it?”

She was agreeing to it?

She was agreeing to it!

“Sparkler, that’s wonderful!” I said, clasping her hoof in both of my hands. “You have no idea what this could mean for Equestria!”

Noticing the embarrassed look on her face, I said, hastily,

“Not that I’m trying to pressure you, mind.”

“No, no, Dave, it’s ok,” she said, giggling. “I’m actually quite interested in this idea: dragon restaurants with gem dishes. I’ll bet Spike would be a regular.”

“Haha, yeah, very true,” I laughed, then said, soberly, “Seriously, Sparkler, if you can make this work, the entire council, maybe even all of Equestria, will be in your debt. You’re an awesome pony.”

I drew an arm around her in a hug, and she, still smiling with a hint of bashfulness, nuzzled me warmly.

“I’ll write to the Minister, and we’ll arrange a meeting as soon as we can,” I said, releasing her. “He usually stops by here on Sundays, but I wonder if Hearth’s Warming may be an exception. We’ll have to see. Hopefully the dragons can hold out until then. Otherwise, maybe I’ll see him when I got to Canterlot this week.”

“All right,” said Sparkler. “I hate to just leave like this, Dave, but I’d better get back home. The kids are nearly due for another dose of cold medicine. They hate the stuff.”

“Just tell them what my dad always told me,” I said, “‘The worse it tastes, the better it works’.”

“I’ll remember that,” said Sparkler, grinning. “Good night, Dave.”

“Good night, Sparkler.”

Sparkler trotted away back toward home, and I shut the door after her. I’d done it! I’d gotten a step further in helping solve the dragon debacle! All that was needed was a talk between her and Ironmane, and we would be golden! She deserved something special to go with it, if it did work out. Maybe a sign, or some other decoration.

“You’re heading to Canterlot?”

I froze in my mental victory dance. I had nearly forgotten Moonlight was still here, looking curiously at me.

“Yeah,” I said. “I have some shopping I need to get done there.”

“Ooh,” said the pegasus. “Do you think...is it ok if I come with you?”

“You want to come with?”

“Yeah! I’ve never seen Canterlot before! At least, not as far as I can remember.”

“Well, I’d be glad to have your company, then,” I said, graciously. “Twilight and Rainbow Dash will be joining us as well.”

“Wonderful!” said Moonlight. “Let me know when and where, and I’ll be ready.”

“Of course.”

“I’d better head off to bed, then,” said Moonlight, stretching cat-like before getting off the sofa. “Another busy day tomorrow.”

“Same here,” I said, walking her to the door. “Good night, Moonlight.”

“Good night, Dave.”

I watched for Moonlight to make it to her house, then shut the door behind me. Grabbing a piece of paper and my ink and quill, I wrote out the following letter:

“Dear Minister Ironmane,
I asked Sparkler Hooves about assisting with the dragon gem restaurant idea, and she gave her approval! When would be the best time for you and her to speak about it? I will be in Canterlot sometime this week, the exact date currently unknown as of the writing of this letter, so hopefully I’ll be able to see you, as I’ll be shopping. Otherwise, if it suits you, I suppose you could meet here on Sunday, though it will be Hearth’s Warming. I’ll leave it to you to decide.
Sincerely,
Dave”

I sealed the letter up in an envelope and took it out to my mailbox as an outgoing message. With that out of the way, I set about making a late dinner. These Daring Do books knew how to keep a guy invested; they make you lose all sense of time.

Sunday, December 18
Lyra: Seapony something
Zecora: Zebrafrican friendship mask
Sparkler: Something for the dragon restaurant
> Canterlot Shopping Spree
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning was surprisingly active. During breakfast, someone came knocking at my door, and when I answered, I found it to be Derpy. She was smiling, but I couldn’t help but notice some tired lines beneath her askew eyes.

“Hi, Derpy,” I said. “Are you feeling ok?”

“Oh, a little tired,” Derpy admitted. “It’s all this holiday rush, you know? Plus, the little ones have got colds, so Sparkler and I both have had to make sure they’re on schedule with their medicine. Don’t worry, they’ve got mailponies waiting in the wings to take over if one of us collapses.” 

“And that hasn’t happened to you yet, has it?” I asked.

“Nah,” said Derpy, waving an airy hoof. “It’s gonna take a lot more to stop me. But how about you? You’ve got your plate full with quite a few things yourself. Sparkler told me all about this dragon restaurant idea you came up with. I hope Count Beardy won’t give you such a hard time now.”

“Count Beardy?” I asked, confused, before the realization hit me, and I burst out laughing. “You mean Minister Ironmane? Wow, he’d kill me if he heard me say that name…” I cleared my throat, then added, “But yeah, he actually liked the idea, and was more civil than usual with me. He probably just wants this whole mess over and done with. Lord knows anyone would want to pacify a bunch of cranky dragons.” 

“Too true,” said Derpy.

“Still, I’m glad you approved such a huge thing for Sparkler.”

“Oh, I think this will be a wonderful project for her, and she’s actually really excited about it. She was talking about asking Spike about gem flavors, and even came up with a name for the place: the Brimstone Lounge.”

“Nice,” I said, smiling to myself at how enthusiastic she had gotten. “Does she know where she can find a steady supply of gems?”

“She must, for the jewelry store to stay afloat, but she’s never told anypony where it is. She must want it kept a secret, lest greedier ponies try to take from it themselves.”

“Ah, good point.”

“Oh, but listen to me, prattling on, when you’ve got mail!” said Derpy. “Let’s see…”

She dug around in her mailbag, pulling out a pair of letters and placing them in my hands. Before I had time to read the addresses, however, she suddenly hefted a big box out of the bag. It seemed to be quite heavy for her, as she strained to lift it, and I saw her knees shaking. She suddenly gave a lurch forward with it, making me drop the letters onto the floor. The box caught me in the stomach, knocking the wind out of me, then slipped from her hooves, landing with a dull, painful thud on my foot. It was all I could do to keep from screaming.

“Oh gosh!” Derpy gasped, looking very contrite. “I am so sorry! I don’t know what went wrong!”

“Don’t worry about it,” I managed to say, through gritted teeth. 

Derpy gave a nervous little chuckle and pulled out a clipboard.

“Just sign for the package on the dotted line,” she said.

Stiffly, my foot still throbbing beneath the package, I grabbed the pen that came with the clipboard and signed where she wanted me to. Derpy then whisked it away and turned to go.

“I’ll see you later, Dave!”

“Bye!” I said, still through gritted teeth.

I made sure she was off in the sky again before closing the door, then pushing the package off of my foot. 

“...Ow…” I groaned.

I stooped to pick up the letters, placing them atop the box, then carried the whole lot, with some difficulty, onto the table. Who in the world would send me something so bone-crushing? Had I ordered anything? The package was stamped with an insignia resembling a griffon, and on either side of it were the initials “G.E”. In smaller letters underneath, it read “Griffon Express”.

Griffon Express…

The grapes!

I was about to open it up, when my eyes fell on the two letters. One was from the Pie family (a reply! Bonus!), but the other, written in a very elegant style, told me it was from Apollo himself. I opened this letter first, just to be sure if there was a warning about the grapes before opening the box. It read:

“My good David,
I thank you for writing to me, and am pleased to hear you express such interest in our native fruit. It is true that our grapes are exported in a limited supply, as they take the utmost care and attention to grow to perfection, but the Griffellow family owns a minor vineyard of our own, and I’d been informed we had a good harvest this year. Your friend the juice maker should be well pleased. Do not worry about storage, as I spared no expense in finding a container suitable for shipping that did not damage the cargo. Grapes of this sort are fairly delicate, and bruise and dry out easily, which is why I took the liberty of hiring a unicorn who specializes in enchantments to make sure they arrive both cold and unharmed. I trust you will inform me if his services were worth what I paid for them.
Happy holidays to you!
Sincerely yours,
Apollo Ignatius Griffellow II”

Opening the box, I saw the black and white cooler inside, and, sure enough, it was cold to the touch. For something that lacked a motor, this was one impressive shipping carton. Unicorn magic never ceased to amaze. 

Setting it aside, I took up the letter from the Pie family, opened it up, and read:

“Dear Mr. Dave,
We’re glad to have received the letter from you, and appreciate your thoughtfulness. Unfortunately, as much as we would love to visit Ponyville and see Pinkamena for Hearth’s Warming, Igneous has been grumbling about the state of the gravel crop we are raising. This cold weather is good for the stone, but with the winter about half done, we can’t leave in the midst of the busy season. We have decided to let Marble and Limestone come instead, and they are more than willing to share your accommodations with you. Expect them to drop by around Hearth’s Warming Eve.
Please give our best to Pinkamena.
Happy Hearth’s Warming!
Cloudy Quartz Pie”

So Marble and Limestone would be the only ones able to come? Well, it was better than no Pies at all, and besides, Pinkie would be happy to see them all the same. Things were working out just fine.

As I set my mail aside and went to get ready, my thoughts began to wander on what I had left to accomplish: the chocolate fountain for the Crusaders, the bags of candy for Pinkie and the delegates, the sign for Sparkler, the card for Trixie, and everything else in Canterlot. It seemed like a lot, but, thanks to Luna’s advice, it still looked doable.

Staring at my reflection in the mirror, I smiled with confidence and slapped my fist into the palm of my other hand.

“Let’s do this.”


***


Bon Bon sure didn’t waste time about finding about when her engagement would be. Almost as soon as I had come in to start work, she told me that she would allow me Wednesday and Thursday off, and that Saturday and Sunday the store would be closed, due to Hearth’s Warming. That suited me just fine, and I set to my daily duties with gusto.

Around midday, Rainbow Dash entered the shop, her wing curled around something at her side. She looked this way and that before heading up to the counter, obviously not wanting to be seen. Bon Bon was in her office, and Lyra was trying out something new, a lemon candy her boss and friend had just developed. Apparently, its taste left something to be desired, as Lyra’s lips were severely puckered, and this kept her from paying attention to Rainbow’s entrance. Hopefully, this wasn’t another prank.

“Here you go, dude,” the pegasus whispered.

She held out her wing and dropped something into my hand. It was a little bottle, about the size of a perfume bottle, full of a liquid striped with all the colors of the rainbow. It felt warm and pleasant, like bath water.

“Stash it in your pocket before somepony sees,” Rainbow whispered.

I did so, stuffing the bottle into a free pocket.

“Thanks, Rainbow,” I said, gratefully.

“Anytime, pal,” she said. “So, got any updates on the Canterlot trip?”

“Yes, actually. If you see Twilight and/or Moonlight, let them know we’re set for Wednesday and Thursday.”

“Wednesday and Thursday,” Rainbow repeated to herself for memory’s sake. “Sweet. How early should we make it?” 

“Let Twilight decide that,” I said. “She’ll probably set up a good timetable.”

“Yeah, and then make us memorize it,” said Rainbow, rolling her eyes. “Well, I’ll let them know. See ya later, big guy.”

“See ya.”

Rainbow headed out, and I turned to Lyra, who seemed to have unpuckered her lips at last. She did not look happy, and she pushed the bowl of lemon drops away with an expression of deep disgust.

“Too sour?” I asked.

“That’s putting it mildly,” she grumbled. “This isn’t candy. It’s a method of torture.”

“What was that, Lyra?” came Bon Bon’s voice through the office door, making Lyra jump.

“Er, nothing, Bonnie,” she replied, in a sweeter tone. “The lemon drops are just a little on the sour side, that’s all.”

“Oh, really?” said Bon Bon. “Thanks for letting me know. I’ll get right on it.”

“Thank goodness,” Lyra muttered to me. “Imagine if she didn’t have me around to tell the edible ones from the lethal ones...”

Now that was a scary thought.


***


Luckily, the Crusaders didn’t show up today (no doubt because Scoot and Dinky were still sick), so when the day was drawing to a close, I purchased the chocolate fountain from off the shelf, then made two of Bon Bon’s deluxe-sized mixed candy bags, each with a little bit of everything in it. Lyra wanted to give me a discount, but I didn’t want to keep doing it that way, as nice as it was. Lyra, however, was insistent.

“Are you saying you want to empty your wallet on candy?”

“Of course not,” I said.

“Then why look a gift unicorn in the mouth?” she asked, with a big smile on her face. “Especially after I ate something that sour. Bleah.” She pulled a face, then said, “You’re an employee and our friend. You deserve a few benefits.”

There was sense in that.

“Well, thanks, Lyra,” I said, accepting my purchases gratefully after handing over the bits. “I really do appreciate that.

“As I know your friends will appreciate these,” she said, winking.

With this, that took care of my purchasing obligations in Ponyville. Still, as I took the candy and fountain home, my mind wandered again over to Sparkler preparing to assist the dragon restaurant. I had already made up my mind about making a sign for decorative purposes, and now the idea was firmly rooted in my brain. Even if it was just a simple placard, it could still lend its own sense of aesthetics.

With that in mind, I wrapped up the gifts from Bon Bon’s, set them with the ever-growing pile of gifts, then set to work on two things: writing a card for Trixie, and drawing up concepts for a sign for the dragon restaurant. For the latter, I figured it should be catchy and creative. The slogans Moonlight said she was inventing for Sugarcube Corner floated into my head, and I wondered if I could use that type of thinking for this. I’d need to have a talk with her about it, perhaps during the trip.

Then came the card for Trixie. Taking one of the holidays cards I had purchased in bulk (I still had a few left, thankfully), I wrote out:

“Dear Trixie,
How have you been? From what I’ve read in the papers, you’re doing very well. I wish I could see the kind of stuff you’ve been adding to your shows, but I suppose that will just have to wait until the next time we meet. Things have been good here, though I can’t deny Ponyville is a little more boring without you. As for me, I miss both the Great and Powerful Trixie and Beatrix Lulamoon, and hope to be able to see you again soon.
Happy Hearth’s Warming!
Your friend,
Dave”

I had just finished writing when there came a rapid knocking at my door. I went to answer, and found Moonlight, beaming.

“Rainbow Dash gave me the news,” she said, “and I just wanted to let you know I’ll be ready.”

“Excellent,” I said. “You’re gonna love it in Canterlot, Moonlight. It’s amazing.”

“So I’ve heard,” said Moonlight. “After Rainbow Dash left, Pinkie Pie told me about some of the stuff you can do there, and told me there was much more.”

She gave an excited little squeal, and her wings fluttered. It was really adorable to watch.

“So what are you up to right now?” she asked.

“Oh, just getting some stuff squared away for Hearth’s Warming,” I said. “Making out a long-distance card for a friend who’s traveling.”

“Ooh, wow!” said Moonlight. “Whoever they are must be lucky to have such a thoughtful friend as you.”

“Aw, shucks, Moonlight,” I said, modestly.

“Well, I won’t keep you,” she said. “I just wanted to let you know I’ll be ready when you all are. Good night!”

“Night!”

Moonlight headed off, and I shut the door behind her. Heading back to Trixie’s card, I sealed it up in its own envelope, addressed it for the show mare, then set it aside. I’d bring it to Twilight when we met to go on the trip, and she could use the spell she was talking about on it. I wondered if I’d even get a response from Trixie because of it. However, that doubt was quickly pushed out of my mind, and I went off to bed.

Monday, December 19


***


On Tuesday morning, I received a letter from Minister Ironmane.

“Dear David,
I thank you for your assistance in this affair. You need not trouble yourself about Miss Hooves meeting with me. I am already settling arrangements for her to come to Canterlot at her earliest convenience. She shall sit down with Brutus and myself to discuss the finer points.
Sincerely,
Minister Ironmane”

Well, that took care of that. I just hoped Ironmane wouldn’t be too strict with her. Sparkler always came across as a calm mare of steady resolve, but would it hold in the company of the unflappable Minister of Foreign Affairs and a full-grown dragon? Actually, remembering the trauma that the hardware store pony went through, whatever Sparkler had said or done, perhaps I had better be more concerned for Brutus.

Nothing of further consequence happened that day until around closing time, when Bon Bon handed me a big bag full of bits.

“Here’s your advance for your days off this week,” she said. “You’ll make it up when you come back after Hearth’s Warming. Does that sound fair?”

“Definitely,” I said. “Thanks a bunch for this, Bon Bon.”

“You’re very welcome,” said Bon Bon. “We’re so lucky to have you helping us through such a busy time, and I hope you have a wonderful stay in Canterlot.”

“Thanks, and I hope your...whatever it is goes well, too.”

“Oh, that?” Bon Bon asked, giggling. “Lyra and I are going to visit her family. They’re just as nice as she is...though not quite as kooky.”

“I heard that,” said Lyra, dryly, before saying, in a kinder tone to me, “but seriously, Dave, have a great time.”

“Thanks, Lyra. I’ll see both of you on Friday.”

Bidding the two farewell, I made for home, and was just coming within sight of it when who should fall in by my side but Twilight, wearing a pink scarf, yellow boots, and a saddle lined with fluff belted around her middle.

“Hi, Dave!” she chirped.

“Hey, Twilight. What brings you here?”

“I wasn’t sure if you’d be home already, so I decided to take a walk over and see, to talk about the trip tomorrow.”

“Oh, all right. Would you like to come in and warm up a bit?”

“That’d be very nice, thank you.”

I let Twilight inside, and her purple eyes roved around it in wonder. She’d seen it before I purchased it, but she hadn’t been to see it after it had been fully decorated.

“Excuse the mess,” I said. “I’ve been busy both inside and out.”

“Oh, it’s fine,” she said, seating herself on the sofa. “If anypony knows what happens to a house when the pony living inside is studying all the time, it’s me.”

I glanced down at the books I’d been using for my work, gathering dust in the corner. Twilight laughed, and I joined in, somewhat awkwardly.

“In all seriousness, though,” the unicorn went on, “Rainbow Dash told me everything, and I’m fully on board with the arrangements. The best train we can take tomorrow is the 8 AM express, and we should be back home sometime Thursday, depending on what we accomplish. That should leave us plenty of time during both days for shopping and showing Moonlight around, wouldn’t you say?”

“I knew leaving the scheduling to you was a good idea,” I said, earning a smile from her. “And how about accommodations?”

“I’ve already talked to Princess Celestia about it. She’s made arrangements to book us rooms at the Mareiot Hotel. Rainbow and I will share a room, while you and Moonlight split another.”

“That was awfully nice of her to arrange that for us.”

“I know, right? It pays to be her protege, on more than one occasion.”

“Apparently,” I said. Then, on a sudden inspiration, I said, “Hey, Twi, since you’re here, do you think you can send Trixie’s card now?”

“Ohh, you made it out?” Twilight asked, eagerly.

“Yeah, it’s on the table. Let me go grab it.”

“No need,” said Twilight, stopping me. “I’ll grab it.”

Her horn flared up as she looked at the table, and I saw the envelope addressed to Trixie levitate into the air and float over to her.

“Showoff,” I said, but in a good-humored way. “Now you’re sure this spell of yours works?”

“Absolutely. I tested it with a letter addressed to Fluttershy all the way in her cottage. She told me it arrived right in front of her, though it gave her a bit of a scare when it just popped out of thin air.”

“Oh. I hope Trixie won’t be in the middle of a show when it arrives. I’d hate to imagine her act being interrupted and going sour because of me.”

“It’ll be fine,” said Twilight, reassuringly. “Now, just give me a second…”

She squeezed her eyes shut, her mouth working into a concentrated frown as she, as well as I could guess, worked up a mental image of Trixie. The glow around the letter intensified, and in a bright flash, it vanished completely. Twilight reopened her eyes.

“How’s that?” she asked.

“Very nice!” I said, approvingly. “I just wonder how long it’ll take a response to get back the normal way.”

“I wouldn’t worry about it,” said Twilight, getting on back onto her hooves. “I’d better get going, though. We want to be up nice and early if we want to catch the 8:00 train.”

“All right. Thanks again, Twi.”

“Happy to help. Good night!”

“Good night.”

Twilight saw herself out, shutting the door gently behind her, and I went to get my stuff ready for the trip tomorrow, packing my saddlebag. I’d been waiting for this day to come, and I was eager to get it done. Tomorrow I’d be moving into the final stage of Operation Gift Get.

Yeah, that was a name I came up with for this whole self-made mission of mine.

I could be such a dork sometimes.

Tuesday, December 20


***


The next morning, the four of us were ready to set out for Canterlot. Moonlight was very much impressed by my fancy ensemble, but gave a jump when the train pulled in. She had never been on a train before, as far as she could remember, and was both mystified and a little intimidated by the sight of it. How embarrassing it must have been to feel intimidated by a pink locomotive. But I digress. 

Twilight gave the three of us a surprise by unveiling something she had secretly packed just for us: the next Daring Do book, entitled Daring Do and the Cave of Nightmares. Rainbow, Moonlight and I immediately dug into it, the two pegasi pressed against me as I held the book between us, Twilight smiling at our investment. Though the train ride wasn’t enough to finish the whole book, obviously, we read enough to keep us hooked for the whole trip.

The train pulled into Canterlot station, and the four of us set out into the city. Moonlight hovered above us, looking this way and that in amazement at the enormous, austere city around her. She kept swivelling this way and that in midair, as if she were a marionette being twisted around on its strings. She earned quite a few funny looks from passersby because of this behavior, but thankfully, no one said anything aloud. Perhaps it was because everyone felt a little nutty or exuberant around the holidays. The streets were packed with ponies going this way and that, laden with shopping bags and full saddlebags, foals with their noses pressed to the glass of toy shop windows, and ponies standing by donation buckets, ringing their bells and asking for charity.

Our first stop was to the Mareiot to drop off our luggage. The rooms booked for us were clean, cozy, and well-lit, and the balconies offered a view of the pool area below, though it was much too cold to even think of swimming, unless it was in the hot tub. There were even complimentary mints left on our pillows. The towels were even folded origami-style. Now that was a sure sign of excellent hotel service right there.

With our bags dropped off, and my bits stashed at the ready, we set out into the streets. Twilight said we could split up to accomplish what we needed to do, but that she would take Moonlight with her so that she wouldn’t get lost. We would meet back at the hotel by sundown. All of us agreed to this course of action, and we split up, Rainbow rocketing down the street, while the others trotted off at a more sedate pace.

Here in Canterlot, I had to get vermillion silk for Rarity, something from the Wonderbolts shop for Rainbow Dash, something Daring Do related for Moonlight, and tickets to Octavia’s concert for Fluttershy and Ironmane. I kept running them through my head like a kind of mantra: silk, ‘Bolts, Daring, tickets.

Rarity’s vermillion silk was proudly on display in Canterlot’s premiere fashion boutique, Le Roche’s, alongside several more of other colors, but equally extravagant. It wasn’t exactly cheap, but Madame Le Roche, the proprietor, spoke highly of it. She ordered her employees to bring a bolt of it for me. It was cumbersome, but Madame Le Roche offered to have it sent by delivery. It would cost even more, and I was beginning to worry that I might run out before all of my shopping was done. On the other hand, how would I look lugging a whole bolt of cloth with me down the street, even if to drop it off at the hotel? After a few minutes’ indecisiveness, I decided not to go along with it. Madame Le Roche therefore had it carefully wrapped to protect from the cold and snow and, moving as quickly as I could with it, I dropped it off at the Mareiot before making for the Wonderbolts store.

The store was jam-packed with ponies trying to buy Wonderbolt memorabilia for Hearth’s Warming, scrabbling for plushies and T-shirts. As best I could, I wormed my way through the crowd and headed for the posters. To my relief, there were still some remaining of the one Pinkie had told me about: Wonderbolts past and present, with its three main members, Spitfire, Soarin, and Fleetfoot front and center. It was interesting to see the designs of the old Wonderbolts uniforms and how they evolved over the years, in a kind of timeline composed of iconic members. 

Even as I looked, however, they were beginning to fly out of the rack. There was one left now, and I made a lunge for it. Just as my hand fell on it, a little hoof also did so. Looking down, I saw that the hoof belonged to a colt no older than any of the Crusaders. He was wearing a little cap bearing the Wonderbolts insignia, and was even wearing a Wonderbolts jacket. He looked at me with sad eyes, as if he was worried I was about to take the one he was hoping for. My heart hurt me sorely to see a kid look so sad, so, with a kind smile, I pulled out the poster and handed it to him.

“Here you go,” I said. “You take it.”

The colt’s face split into a wide smile, and after blurting out a ‘Thank you!’, he made his way through the crowd to where his parents must have been waiting. I sighed. It was a shame to give up on the poster Rainbow Dash would have most liked, but I just couldn’t stand ruining a kid’s holiday. Browsing around, I settled on another poster that I figured Dash would like: Spitfire, Soarin, and Fleetfoot standing tall and proud in front of a realistically-rendered lightning-crossed background, the Wonderbolt insignia superimposed on the bottom. Grabbing this, I made for the checkout, where I could see the little colt still excited over his new poster. That big happy smile was worth having to give it up.


***


My luck had held out so far, but it seemed to be escaping me now. I wandered this way and that around town, but I couldn’t find a ticket booth advertising Octavia’s concert, or any store that had any worthwhile Daring Do merchandise that wasn’t sold out. Daring Do plushes, pith helmets, costumes, action figures, even collections of her books were selling like hotcakes, and each and every time I arrived at a store selling them, I was too late to get my hands on any of it. When I asked the store representatives when they might expect a restock, they merely said it was difficult to say. At least they weren’t the kind who’d laugh in your face if you dared ask for a Turboman doll. I just prayed that I’d be able to find something tomorrow, at least, for Moonlight’s sake.

The sun was setting, and I must have tread half the length of Canterlot, still not having found a ticket booth or a gift for Moonlight. My feet were killing me, yet I couldn’t stop moving. My neck was also getting sore from constantly swiveling my head this way and that, looking at shop windows. In fact, I was so busily engaged in this that I didn’t see where I was going, and bumped into somepony in the street, knocking my hat off. I seemed to be doing that a lot lately. It was starting to become a nasty habit.

When I returned to my senses, I saw that the pony I had rammed into was Octavia herself, who now dazedly wore my hat.

“Octavia!”

“Oh, goodness, Dave!” said Octavia. “One of these days, we must meet up without you taking me by surprise like this.”

“Sorry about that,” I said, accepting my hat from her and putting it back on. “It’s funny that I should run into you like this. I was looking for a ticket booth, to see if I could buy tickets for your New Year’s concert.”

“Were you?” asked Octavia, interested.

“I have a couple friends who would love to see it, so I was wondering if you could tell me where I might be able to buy tickets to it.”

(Did I seriously label Ironmane as my ‘friend’?)

“Well, I have good news and bad news about that,” said Octavia. “The bad news is that the tickets have sold out at the booth.”

“Oh,” I said, feeling my spirits sink. “I was afraid of that.”

“The good news is I have some reserve tickets, and I’d be more than happy to let you buy two.”

“Really?” I asked, excitedly. “Great! How much?”

“Together, 70 bits.”

70?! I knew it wouldn’t be cheap, but to hear the price spoken to me in my face was still staggering. Regardless, I still had to have them. With a sinking feeling in my stomach, I pulled out my bag of bits and doled them out for her. There wasn’t much left in the bag after that, but I pulled myself together as she handed me two crisp, cream-colored tickets.

“Thanks,” I said, regaining myself and pocketing them. “It’s a dent in my savings, but then again, aren’t these kinds of events always like that? I appreciate it all the same.”

“Oh, it was my pleasure,” said Octavia. “Think nothing of it.”

“I know you’ll play spectacularly on New Year’s,” I said, “but all the same, good luck!”

I took her dainty hoof in my hand and kissed it graciously. She blushed, but still smiled.

“You are a gentlecolt,” she said, kindly. “It was good to see you. Collision notwithstanding.”

“Same to you. Good day, then, Miss Octavia,” I said, tipping my hat.

“Good day,” said Octavia, inclining her head.

The two of us went our separate ways as, despite the soreness of my feet, I couldn’t help walking with a spring in my step at my good, if costly, fortune.


***


That night, in the room I shared with Moonlight, I sat in bed, deep in thought. I was glad that I had been able to acquire the tickets, but what it, the poster, and the bolt of fabric had cost had bitten hard into my savings, and I didn’t have much left at my disposal. The thought that I had been unable to find a suitable gift for Moonlight gnawed at my insides, but I couldn’t let it show. I didn’t want to spoil her good mood, after all. She’d had a wonderful time touring Canterlot with Twilight, and had gotten quite a bit of shopping done. I wondered if she had seen the Daring Do merchandise, watching it sell out faster than you could say ‘shopping spree’. She didn’t say so, so I didn’t bring it up. I had to do something, though. I had to find a way to get the perfect gift for my young friend.

As the two of us were settling in, I was about to turn off the lamp when I felt a pair of forelegs clasp around my shoulders, and something warm rest against my cheek. Moonlight had clambered out of bed and given me a close hug.

“Good night, best friend,” she said, softly. “Thanks for bringing me.”

Her best friend...She considered me her best friend, and I hadn’t even been able to find her anything after searching all day. It took an effort to keep my eyes from tearing up as I put an arm around her in reciprocation.

“Good night, Moonlight,” I said. “You’re welcome.”

She went to her own bed and fell asleep almost at once. As for me, I lay half-awake, thoughts of what lay unaccomplished still racing through my mind.

Wednesday, December 21

> *Alternate POV* Winter Doings
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

For the first time that week, silence had fallen over the Hooves household. Scootaloo and Dinky’s sneezing fits had subsided, and their sniffly noses were beginning to clear up. The medicine chosen for their bouts had done the trick, despite its unpleasant taste, and the two fillies were settled together in their beds, drowsy but awake. Sparkler had left on an important, out-of-town errand, and Derpy was busy with the mail  so the two were alone upstairs, letting their latest dose take effect, too warm and cozy under the covers to get up.

“I wonder what the others have been up to,” said Scootaloo, thickly, her voice a little hoarse.

“Do you think they got colds too?” asked Dinky.

“Dunno. It’d be pretty funny if they did, though. Then we’d all be Cutie Mark Crusaders Cold Survivors.”

Dinky giggled, but her laughter was cut short by a coughing fit.

“Sorry,” said Scootaloo. “Didn’t mean to get you coughing.”

“It’s ok,” said Dinky. “I’ve been thinking about Hearth’s Warming coming up. I can’t wait! Can you?”

Scootaloo would have smiled widely at this, but she didn’t feel much like it. She had never had a proper Hearth’s Warming, even when her old dad had still been alive; he had been too distracted by the state of his own affairs and his drunkenness to pay much mind to specific days. She had never brought it up in front of Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle, because she didn’t want them making a fuss over her. Now that she was a Hooves, she was surprised that she’d be taking part in a holiday focused on friendship and family when she had been raised with little of the first and half of the latter. It felt intimidating...but wonderful at the same time.

“What’s the matter, sis?” Dinky asked.

“Nothing,” Scootaloo said, hurriedly. “I’ve just never been to a Hooves Hearth’s Warming before.”

“Oh, you wait,” said Dinky, enthusiastically. “Mama pulls out all the stops when she cooks.”

And Dinky went on listing the delicious foods that their mother would serve up around the holidays, making Scootaloo’s mouth water and her tummy rumble. It also made her hope her cold would be over sooner, so that she’d be able to taste it all.

“Do you think Mama and Sparkler will like the present we made for them?” Dinky asked, jerking Scootaloo out of her thoughts of food.

“How could they not?” she asked, with a smile. “You’re the one who made it.”

“But it was your idea,” said Dinky, modestly.

“Ahh, I was just a lot of talk,” said Scootaloo, airily. “You’re the little artist who made it happen. I’m surprised you didn’t become a Cutie Mark Crusader Painter because of it.”

Dinky grinned.

“Thanks, Scoot.” She then said, in a more subdued tone, “I just wish we could have got something for the others.”

“I know, Dinks,” said Scootaloo, sympathetically. “Me too, but I’m sure they’ll understand. We still made them cards, didn’t we?”

“Uh-huh,” said Dinky, brightening. “Mama always said it’s the thought that counts.”

“Exactly,” said Scootaloo.

*Paff!*

The two sisters looked up, startled. Something had hit their window with a wet thud.

*Paff!*

There it was again. 

“What the…?”

Stiffly, still feeling light-headed, Scootaloo leaned over to peer out the window. It was smudged with a thick splattering of snow. Raising it up, she peered out of it, just to get a faceful of snow at that exact moment. 

“Oops!” came a familiar, high-pitched voice. “Sorry, Scootaloo! At least we got your attention, though.”

Scootaloo grumpily wiped the snow away and peered down. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle were sitting in front of the house, the unicorn wiping snow from her hooves. She had been the offending lobber of the frozen projectiles.

“What were you doing that for?” Scootaloo called down, irritably.

“We just wanted to see if you and Dinky were better yet,” said Apple Bloom.

“Better than earlier this week,” said Scootaloo, “but Mom’s not letting us go until we’re sniffle-free. Seems like you guys got off easy, though.”

“Thank Granny for that,” said Apple Bloom. “She can smell a cold a mile away, and her apple spice soup always does the trick.”

“Rarity had me take some soup from a recipe she borrowed from Fluttershy,” said Sweetie Belle. “I only had the sniffles, but those went away in no time.”

“Are y’all gonna be well in time for Hearth’s Warmin’?” asked Apple Bloom, hopefully.

“We should be. This medicine’s nasty, but Sparkler told us Dave said, ‘The worse it tastes, the better it works’, and it is working great for how bad it tastes.”

“Great,” said Sweetie Belle. “We’ll see you two later, then.”

“See ya,” said Scootaloo. “And Sweetie Belle? Ponies usually throw pebbles at windows to get somepony’s attention, not snowballs.”

Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle trotted away, the unicorn muttering ‘couldn’t even find any pebbles...’, and Scootaloo shut the window, shaking her head. Turning to Dinky, she saw that she looked preoccupied about something, just like she had been. 

“Something wrong, Dinky?” she asked.

“No, no,” said Dinky, vaguely. “I was just thinking about Dave.”

“Dave? How come?”

“He looks happy a lot of the time, but I bet he’s actually really sad, because he can’t see his family.”

“Huh,” said Scootaloo, considering. “I guess I never thought about that.”

At that moment, they heard the sound of the front door opening.

“He’s home,” said Scootaloo. “Think he got us any ginger ale?”

Dinky didn’t say anything at first, then said, in a quiet voice,

“I’m gonna ask what he thinks.”


***


The Ponyville post office was a hive of activity. Mailponies were rushing in and out, entering with empty mailbags, and exiting with them full to bursting. If that wasn’t enough, the front counter was crowded with patrons and clients waiting to receive news about orders they had placed. Needless to say, in all of the hubbub, tempers ran high amongst quite a few, fussy foals whimpered and cried, and ponies jostled each other in an attempt to get to the counter, while the ponies that were already there infuriated those behind by taking their sweet time with the only available pens there. Why didn’t they stock more pens?

To put it bluntly, it was bedlam, but nothing Derpy Hooves was not used to. She had weathered her fair share of holiday rush periods during her employment, but she had grown accustomed to it. In fact, it could be said that she was the ray of encouragement during these hectic times. Never would any of her fellow mail carriers see a frown on her face as she came in and out. No matter what, she’d always be ready to greet them with a smile, even if she got a dirty look in return. Sure, her record wasn’t perfect, but whose was, really? She loved what she did, and wanted to help her colleagues do the same.

That day, she forced her way through the crowd of customers and mailponies to refill her mailbag. Her wings were aching, and her shoulders were sore where the bag had been slung over her, but she still walked with a light, easy step, greeting her fellow carriers cheerily. Some greeted back tiredly, others were too exhausted to do more than nod. 

The postmaster looked up wearily as she entered his office after knocking, having had a very trying morning while attempting to sort out a mislaid package containing a new silk handbag for a very demanding old mare. A pegasus stallion by the name of Arrow was with him, having delivered the complaint himself, and both looked up as Derpy entered. She saluted, and the postmaster merely nodded his head toward the mailroom, not even bothering to speak. Once the pegasus mare had left, he sighed.

“I dunno how she can stand to be so cheerful, sir,” said Arrow to the postmaster. “My wings are killing me, to be frank.”

“Yeah, well, Hooves has always been a...unique case,” said the postmaster, gruffly. “Her wings are more likely to kill somepony else! Well, I can’t complain too much. She works harder than all of you other bums put together. Now get back to those packages. I don’t wanna hear anypony’s Hearth’s Warming is gonna be ruined by late packages on my watch.”

“Yes, sir,” said Arrow, rolling his eyes and taking his leave.


***


Snow lay thick on the fields of the Pie farm, but bitter cold weather never stopped Igneous Rock Pie. Like his father before him, and his father before him, he farmed the land’s stone in all weather, all seasons, no exceptions. Nothing but rocks as far as the eye could see, hour after hour after hour of rolling them painstakingly into position, never-varying, never ceasing.

This day was just like any other. Though the fields were full of snow, that was not enough to stop the toils of the Pies. Marble and Limestone were out rolling the rocks from the east field into the south while their parents supervised. The two young mares pushed along the chunks of rock and stone, neither speaking a word. The only sound to be heard was the dull clinking of rocks as they were piled neatly together, along with the tapping of Igneous’s pickaxe on the big boulders sitting in the north field. There he would stand, the handle held between his teeth, chipping away at the massive rocks with the frequency of a metronome.

At last came the clanging of the dinner bell, Grammy’s signal, and Igneous stopped. The boulder he had been working on had been reduced to a pile of fine gravel, the result of another hard day’s work. The rocks Marble and Limestone had been rolling along had been arranged into perfect piles of dull gray, black, and white all along the field. As they went inside, Igneous paused at the door, looking out at the piles of stone and the freshly-deconstructed boulder. With the ghost of a smile on his face, he murmured,

“Ahh, 'tis the good life…”


***


Sparkler should have been extremely nervous. Anypony in her position surely would have. Nonetheless, she didn’t feel an ounce of fear within her, though this was a rather precarious occasion. 

She was sitting in the imposing presence of two individuals, separated by a polished wooden table. One of these was Minister Ironmane, of whom she had only heard snippets from her mother and Dave, but knew held an important post in Princess Celestia’s court. The other was Brutus, the dragon who had recently been made a member of the Round Table, just after Dave. For such a huge creature, he sat quite at his ease in the boardroom, his wings and forearms folded, his brow furrowed, making Ironmane look positively miniscule by comparison.

“You understand why you have been called here, Miss Hooves?” Ironmane asked, in clipped tones.

“Yes, sir,” said Sparkler, calmly.

“Your friend David has spoken praisingly of your gem-finding prowess. Can you substantiate his claims?”

Sparkler’s cheeks turned a slightly darker pink than her coat color.

“I hope to do so, sir, though I can’t imagine how much he must have said about me.”

“He holds your experience with gemstones in considerable regard,” continued Ironmane. “You work as a jeweler in Ponyville, correct?”

“That’s correct,” said Sparkler.

“And do you collect the jewels you sell yourself?”

“Most of the time.”

Ironmane and Brutus looked at each other, and Sparkler bristled as she recognized a hint of doubt in their expressions.

“I may not look it,” she said, sternly, “but I know how to look out for myself. My gem-finding spell has never failed me, and I’ve never had problems hauling a loaded cart back by myself. Just ask my partner, Karat. He shines up the gems and makes sure they’re ready for display and purchasing.”

“I see,” said Ironmane. “No offense meant at all, Miss Hooves. We merely wanted to make sure David was truthful in his praises about your prowess.”

“He’s a good friend,” said Sparkler, “and I’m honored to be able to help him and you two, if I really can be of service.”

“The relationship between ponies and dragons,” rumbled Brutus, “is tenuous at best. We are hoping that this compromise may soften said relationship. My brethren have taken much time to come to this opinion, and I will admit that I myself have had little interest in pony doings until recently, but we are prepared to see this idea of Councildrake David’s put to action.” He then added, in a tone of light enthusiasm, “Never even thought of the idea myself. A restaurant where dragons can enjoy gem dishes, it’s brilliant.”

“David has shown a knack for spur-of-the-moment inspirations,” said Ironmane, crisply, “but brilliant or not, we need it to work.” 

He held aloft a stack of papers and slid them across to Sparkler, along with a feather quill and bottle of ink.

“Are you prepared to tell us where you have been able to acquire your gems? You need not worry,” he added, seeing the hesitation in Sparkler’s face, “As part of our agreement, the area you designate will be purchased by the Crowns, and put under your sole supervision. You do drive a hard bargain.”

“So I’ve been told,” said Sparkler, with a sly grin.

She leaned forward to whisper the location in Ironmane’s ear, while Brutus craned his neck down to catch it as well.

“Fascinating,” said Ironmane. “We never even considered that area. David was right to elect you, Miss Hooves. Now, then, if you will just sign where designated, we can make it official.”

Sparkler levitated the quill and began signing on each dotted line designated by Ironmane, who whisked each page away once it had been signed.

“My brethren will be most pleased,” said Brutus, while this was going on. “Dragons shall come from all over to dine at this ‘Brimstone Lounge’. The name even has a nice ring to it.”

“It was my own idea,” Sparkler said, humbly.

“Construction will begin as soon as we have found a suitable location to host it in Equestria,” said Ironmane, shuffling the papers neatly into place again once Sparkler had set her quill down. “We will keep in touch with you, Miss Hooves. I shall drop by with an update once everything is in order. You are dismissed.”

“Thank you very much for your time, Minister, Mr. Brutus,” said Sparkler, bowing.

“It was our pleasure to speak with you,” said Brutus. “I’ll look forward to getting a good meal out of this.”

Sparkler was led out of the conference room by a pair of guards. Once she had left, Ironmane turned to Brutus.

“I must inform Princess Celestia of this,” he said.

“And I must report to the dragon elders,” said Brutus. “Until we meet again, Minister.”

“Until then, Brutus.”


> Return to Ponyville
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Thursday dawned, bright but cold, and the four of us were up and about once again. Twilight said we could take another walk around to make sure there was nothing we’d missed, but we’d have to check out of the hotel in time to catch the noon train for Ponyville. With that in mind, while the others went off by themselves I hastened to try and find a shop serving anything Daring Do related that I could apply the remainder of my funds to. I held onto the hope that a new day meant a change in inventory, a last-minute chance to grab something before it was too late.

Unfortunately, luck was not kind to me even today. The results were just the same as yesterday: either sold out, or too expensive for me to be able to afford. I would have gladly paid all I had left to get that one last present, but it was no good. Dead ends cropped up everywhere I went in my search, and I was forced to return to the hotel in gloomy spirits. After all the careful planning and steady gathering of gifts, to miss out on the perfect one for one of the sweetest ponies I knew was a devastating blow to my conscience. 

“What’s the matter, Dave?” Moonlight asked, when we had met back up again.

“Nothing,” I said. “Just...sad that we’ve gotta go so soon. I like Canterlot.”

“Oh, me too,” said Moonlight, breathlessly. “It’s wonderful! I’m so glad I came along!”

Her cheerful smile made my heart hurt even more, when I thought of not finding anything for her.

We packed up our purchases and belongings (Twilight had to levitate what Rainbow and Moonlight couldn’t carry on their own, though I could handle my own stuff), checked out of the hotel, and headed for the train station. My mind was still so abuzz with my broodings that I didn’t catch what the others were saying all the way there. We were just entering the station when I caught what Twilight was telling Rainbow.

“-The six of us in the Hearth’s Warming Eve pageant, just like last year!”

I stopped, my heart giving a sudden jolt. What had Twilight meant by that? ‘In the pageant, just like last year’? The girls had taken part in a holiday pageant? I didn’t remember hearing anything about it before. Was she saying they’d be taking part in it again? That would be really neat to see! I’d love to see how they performed in front of an audience, especially if they’d already done it before. Pinkie would probably be a laugh a minute on stage.

A thrill of panic ran through me as I had a sudden thought. If Pinkie had been a part of it too, and Twilight was talking about them performing in it again, that would mean she’d be spending the Eve in Canterlot, getting ready for it, and that would mean I’d run the risk of having Marble and Limestone coming for nothing! They’d come to Ponyville while their sister was all the way up in Canterlot! There wouldn’t even be time to write to them and warn them! What was I going to do?! Of all the worst things that could happen, this was-

“Dave!”

I was snapped out of my fevered thoughts by Rainbow Dash’s voice.

“Come on, dude! The train’s about to go!”

She was indicating an open train car, and I numbly hurried to join her, Twilight, and Moonlight inside. We found some empty seats and sat down, just in time. The train’s whistle blew and, with a lurch, it rolled out of the station, back towards Ponyville.

The three girls were talking animatedly about what they had seen or done in Canterlot, but I still sat in a state of profound internal distress. The idea of Pinkie being away from home when I was intending to surprise her with a visit from her sisters was one I hadn’t considered...and now something like this popped up! As usual, nobody ever told me anything, even back home! I was heartily sick of it, not just because I was left out of the loop, but because important news was always sprung on me out of nowhere, catching me off guard. What was I going to do now?

“What’s up with you?” Rainbow asked, dragging me out of my thoughts. “You look like you just saw a ghost.”

“Nothing,” I said, hastily.

“It’s lack of sleep again, isn’t it?” Twilight asked, peering into my face. “Honestly, Dave, holiday stress is hitting you hard, among all of the other things weighing on you. You deserve a good night’s sleep as much as anypony.”

“Er, yeah, I suppose,” I said, meekly. Then, deciding to throw caution to the wind, I asked, “Twi, you know how you were talking about a...a Hearth’s Warming Eve pageant?”

“Yes?”

“Well, I don’t remember hearing anything about it before.”

“Oh?” asked Twilight. “I guess it just never crossed my mind until now. Last year, Princess Celestia asked the girls, Spike and me to play parts in the yearly Hearth’s Warming pageant in Canterlot. It was a really fun experience!”

“Of course it was,” said Rainbow, proudly, “when you’ve got such an awesome cast.”

Twilight rolled her eyes, and Moonlight giggled.

“It was fun, you say?” I asked, casually. “So fun you’d want to do it again?”

“Certainly,” said Twilight, brightly.

(Here it comes…)

“Unfortunately, that’s not going to happen this year.”

(...Wait, what?)

“Beg pardon?” I asked, hardly daring to breathe.

“While we were out today, I received a letter from the director of the Canterlot theater, saying that he would love for us to reprise our roles from last year, if we could. I had to turn him down, however, as we just have so much to do, and it was such short notice. It’s a shame, but we can’t even go see it this year. I know I wouldn’t have minded seeing who would take our places.”

“But, let’s be honest, Twi,” said Rainbow, rubbing her hoof against her chest smugly, “it’s no wonder they’d want us back. After all, who could hope to play Commander Hurricane as well as I did?”

“No one, Rainbow,” said Twilight, with a kind of playful sarcasm in her voice.

So that’s what it had been about. If I’d been paying attention, I wouldn’t have thrown myself into such an internal panic. They were just talking about the pageant itself, not about actually being a part of it. That meant Pinkie would be most likely sticking around in Ponyville for the holidays after all. A warm wave of relief spread over me, and I let out an unconscious sigh that went unnoticed. I knew I’d better change the subject before I betrayed my needless worries.

“Moonlight?”

“Mm?” asked Moonlight, as Rainbow took out Daring Do and the Cave of Nightmares.

“I was wondering if you could help me with something.”

“Anything!” she said, eagerly.

“Well, Sparkler Hooves is going to be assisting with a new project that could benefit all of Equestria: a restaurant for dragons.”

“Ohh, is that what you two were talking about when she came over?”

“Exactly.”

“Whoa-whoa, what’s this?” Rainbow asked, looking stunned. “This is the first I’ve heard of any dragon restaurant!”

Twilight, however, looked pleased.

“So the pony-dragon negotiations are being squared away at last?” she asked.

“Looks like it,” I said.

“Wonderful!” said the studious unicorn. “I can only imagine how happy Princess Celestia must be about this!”

Rainbow still looked agog, but I went on,

“She wants to call it the ‘Brimstone Lounge’. It’ll serve gem-based foods, and I was thinking I could make her a sign for it, with a catchy slogan or something. You’ve got a knack for them, Moonlight, so I wonder if you could lend a hoof.”

“Sure!” said Moonlight. “Just give me some time to think of some. Maybe something will come to mind while we’re reading. Rainbow?”

Rainbow shook her head rapidly, probably to clear her senses.

“Er, yeah, right, sure.”

But as she spread the book out between us, I heard her mutter ‘Dragon restaurant. It’s gonna be gigantic!’


***


As the train wound back toward Ponyville, the three of us remained engrossed in the Daring Do book. Twilight, for her part, was reading another book: Maresfield Park by Jane Hossten, and seemed deeply invested in it herself. From time to time, Moonlight would mutter something to herself, as if testing how it sounded to her. I guessed she was trying to think of slogans for the Brimstone Lounge, and sure enough, she paused reading long enough to rattle some off for me.

“‘The Brimstone Lounge: Jewels and Gems Galore’! Or maybe, ‘The Brimstone Lounge: Fine Dragon Dining’!”

“I like those,” I said, grinning. I’ll have to remember one of them.”

When at last the train pulled into the Ponyville station, there was some difficulty in deciding who should hold onto the book, as we hadn’t finished it during the return. Rainbow volunteered almost immediately, but fell into a sullen silence when Twilight reminded her that her track record for borrowing books from the library wasn’t too admirable; she was apt to rereading them constantly, thus keeping other ponies wanting to read them waiting. Feeling charitable, I offered to hold onto it, and allowed Rainbow and Moonlight to come by whenever they wanted to read it with me. This settled the matter, and even Rainbow seemed satisfied. The four of us separated for our homes, Moonlight and I walking together. I had resolved to get everything that was destined for Canterlot sent out as soon as possible, as I wasn’t sure how soon it would get there. Why on Earth hadn’t I brought it all with me? All the time I spent wandering Canterlot, I could have arranged to have the stuff sent to the princesses, to Ironmane, to the council. Ah well, there was still time for that, but when I thought of all the work the mailponies had to do, I again thought of Derpy and the effect it might be having on her.

Moonlight and I split up at our doorsteps, but before I had grabbed the doorknob, she called over to me. 

“I’ve got it! ‘The Brimstone Lounge: Diamond Quality Dragon Delectables’!”

“That’s good too!” I called back. “Thanks, Moonlight!”

As soon as I was inside, I proceeded to wrap up and label my new purchases, writing out cards to go with them. I felt as if an immense load had lifted from my shoulders as I stepped back to observe the ever-growing pile of gifts. I’d gotten just about everything I had planned for. All that was missing were what I had commissioned from Rarity and...what I had been unable to buy for Moonlight. The remembrance of that weighed on me still, but it would have been melodramatic of me to linger on it eternally. There was still time, after all. I’d just have to make some compromises or alterations to my original plans.

Now, all I had to do was deliver the princesses’ and the council’s gifts. A basket of practical jokes, a pillow, a concert ticket, a jumbo bag of candy, and the cards that went with them weren’t too tiresome a load for me, though still a bit cumbersome for one trip. I was just stepping out when, by chance, as it seemed, Derpy came flapping over to me, her mailbag slung across her back.

“Hi, Dave!” she said, cheerily. “Off to the post office?”

“Yeah,” I said. “How is it down there, Derpy?”

“Mad,” said the mailmare, grimly. “Ponies waiting for their packages, complaining about damages or waylaying, foals crying, fighting over the one pen at the counter. I heard Rarity was there earlier making a fuss over that pen, screaming about why we don’t stock more. How should I know why?” she asked, crossing her forelegs. “I’m just a mail carrier.”

“So, would it be ‘mad’ for me to go down there now?” I asked, tentatively.

“I’d say so,” said Derpy. “If you want, you could hand them to me and I’ll deliver them there for you.”

“You’d do that for me? Seriously?”

“Is this the face of a mare who’d lie to you?”

Derpy’s cross-eyed yet gentle face was certainly not the look of a liar, so I smiled and gratefully handed her the wrapped gifts.

“Just remember who they’re addressed to,” I warned.

“Oh, don’t worry,” said Derpy, waving an airy hoof. “I’m just taking them down there. The pegasi who deliver to Canterlot will be able to sort that out.”

“Thanks, Derpy,” I said.

“Anytime, friend,” said Derpy, kindly. “See ya!”

With that, she flapped off back toward Ponyville, her bag now full, but doing nothing to slow her down. That pony was truly unflappable to be able to perform her job during such a hectic time of year. I vaguely remembered her breakdown over her split mailbag, when I had gotten to know her more. Hopefully she didn’t have to worry about something like that again.

I was about to head back inside when I heard a familiar, sophisticated voice calling out to me.

“There you are, darling! I’m so glad you’re home!”

It was Rarity, levitating several boxes in her unicorn’s aura. It astounded me how she was able to keep a hold on so many, floating about her like planets around the Sun in a model of the solar system. As she got closer, I saw, to my disquiet, that she looked quite weary, and her beautiful eyes had a tired look to them.

“Hi, Rarity,” I said. “What have you got there?”

“The clothing you commissioned of me,” she said, brightly. “And a little something for you too.”

“Awesome! Rarity, you truly are a mistress of the tailoring arts!”

“Flatterer,” said Rarity, modestly.

“Please, come in,” I said. “You can set them down inside, and maybe I could get you some hot chocolate. You look exhausted.”

“Why, thank you, dear,” she said. “I can’t stay long, but I’d like that very much.”

I bowed her graciously inside, whereupon she entered and looked around. It was, truth be told, the first time she had come inside my home, and I felt a little embarrassed for its slight disorder when I considered what her standards might be.

“Oh my,” she said, setting the boxes down. “What a charming home you have. It feels very cozy.”

“You’re too kind,” I said. “It’s not much, since I don’t have too much furniture. Still, please have a seat, and I’ll get the chocolate started.”

Rarity settled herself down on the sofa, and I went to get the kettle started. When I finally returned, I found her still gazing about at the minimally, but reasonably, furnished living room. I handed her a cup, which she gratefully accepted, before sitting beside her with my own.

“Rarity,” I said, after she had taken a preliminary sip, “I’m sorry I had to put you through so much bother, especially during such a busy time of year. It can’t have been easy for you.”

“Oh, tut,” tsked Rarity, gently. “You really need to stop apologizing so much, darling. You don’t have to worry about anything, I promise you. I’m used to long hours at the sewing machine. Your projects have been nothing new to me.”

She took another sip, then went on,

“Hearth’s Warming is a busy time for us all, Dave, and you have certainly not been idle, I daresay. I assure you, there is nothing to feel guilty about. You needn’t worry about my father’s jersey, either. I’ll take care of delivering it, under your name, of course.”

I couldn’t help smiling at her for this. This had to have been the umpteenth time I had worried that my clothing requests would prove stressful to her, only to be told I was being a worrywart. I couldn’t really help feeling this way, but it still felt good to know Rarity understood how I was feeling.

“Thanks, Rarity,” I said. “You’re truly hardier than you look.”

Rarity grinned in a pleased way and said, with a toss of her curls,

“Just because a flower may look dainty does not mean her roots are not tough.”

“Very well said. I had the feeling you were made of sterner stuff, but I also didn’t want to ask more than a lady should be tasked with.”

“Oh, you’re so sweet,” said Rarity. “I have a feeling your fellow bowlers and Derpy will be very pleased with what you asked for.”

“Oh, as to that,” I said, “if it’s a Rarity-made, there’s no doubt.”

Rarity beamed, and the tired lines under those sapphire eyes seemed to vanish for the moment.

“How much do I owe you, by the way?” I asked. “I’ve still got some bits left after my shopping spree, but I could dip a bit into my stipend if need be.”

“Nothing too troubling,” said Rarity, in a tone that suggested she felt a little uneasy about how much she was about to pronounce her duty worth. “Is 30 bits all right?”

“I might have just that,” I said, in a triumphant tone, and dug my bag of bits out.

Reaching around, I extracted, bit by bit, 30 little gold coins and laid them in front of Rarity. Only a few lingered still at the bottom of the bag, looking very sad all by themselves.

“Thank you, darling,” said Rarity, pocketing the bits with her magic, then taking another sip of her hot cocoa. “I do appreciate you allowing me to come in, but I’m afraid I must be off. I’ve got some last-minute preparations to make before the Eve. I’m visiting my parents and Sweetie Belle at their home, and some projects will need to be properly scheduled.”

“I understand,” I said. “I hope you have a great time.”

“Thank you, and I hope you enjoy the same with your-”

She stopped abruptly, her cup halfway to her lips. I could grimly comprehend her blunder: she had very nearly forgotten that I had no relations to visit here in Equestria. It wasn’t a very happy thought, but it was true. She set her cup down and looked at me contritely.

“Dave, I’m so sorry,” she said. “It was thoughtless of me to even suggest…”

“It’s ok, Rarity,” I said, in a calm tone. “I’m not angry. I’ve long come to terms with that fact, even if it doesn’t make me very glad to do so. I’m lucky and grateful to have you ponies around to get me through times like this.”

Rarity smiled in an almost maternal way and placed her gentle hoof atop my hand. I couldn’t help feeling that, at times, she really did feel like a doting mother or aunt, though she couldn’t really be more than a few years older than me at most. I didn’t want to confirm by asking, as age could be a sensitive issue for some. A few moments later, she withdrew her hoof and drained her cup.

“Thank you very much for the cocoa, darling,” she said, setting it down and rising onto her hooves, “but I must dash.”

“Let me walk you out, then, milady,” I said, getting up in turn. “But before you leave, I have something for you.”

Rarity looked quite interested as I got up and went to my secret stash of gifts. Her eyes widened even more as she saw me bring out the wrapped bolt of silk, though I wondered if she had already guessed what it could be, and accepted it in her hooves with a look of glee.

“Why, Dave, thank you!” she said. “You’re so thoughtful...Oh, now I’m going to be all of a dither waiting for Hearth’s Warming to open it. You do spoil me so,” she added, giggling.

“I hope it’ll be to your liking when you do open it, Rarity, as it was with you in mind that I sought it out.”

I walked her to the door and held it open as she stepped out into the cold once again, her gift now held in her telekinesis.

“Ta-ta, Dave!” she called over her shoulder, though I then heard her mutter under her breath, “Perhaps just a peek...No, Rarity! You mustn’t!”

“Adieu!” I reciprocated, watching her until she was out of sight.

When I had closed the door again, I looked at the neatly-wrapped boxes she had brought. Each was labelled for either Derpy or a member of the bowling team, but one was addressed to me from her and Sweetie Belle. It was gonna be a pain to have to wait and see what it was, but I was sure it’d be worth it. Besides, I could just imagine the gleeful look on Rarity’s face when she unwrapped the bolt of silk.


***


“‘The Brimstone Lounge: Diamond Quality Dragon Delectables’...Yes, that’s it. She’ll love it.”

I had once considered becoming an artist, a cartoonist, to be precise, but soon came to realize that doodling was more of a hobby rather than an occupational pursuit. Still, I was decent with a pencil, pen, or paintbrush, though my task required patience and care.

It was evening now, and I had spent the day making my house look nicer for the arrival of Marble and Limestone, since I wasn’t sure how early they’d be here on the Eve. After which, using some white cardboard, I had painstakingly painted, in red paint, the aforementioned slogan. This was just a prototype; if Sparkler liked this and gave the OK on it, then we could move on to the final design. I carefully set it aside so the paint would dry. 

Nearly everything had been taken care of now, but two questions rang through my mind: what could I do about Moonlight, and how would I distribute all of these gifts? Would I have to just carry them around in a bag and hand them out to each recipient in the street? Maybe I could haul them around in a cart, if the Apples would let me borrow one. Yes, that made sense. With this thought, I got ready for bed and my last day of work this week.

Thursday, December 22


***


The next day at work passed pleasantly enough. Bon Bon and Lyra told me all about their visit to the latter’s parents, after I’d filled them in on my excursion to Canterlot. Mr. and Mrs. Heartstrings, as Bon Bon had said, were as good-natured as their daughter, and were thankfully patient towards her eccentricities. Both were also musically inclined. Mr. Heartstrings had been a guitar player in his youth, but settled to teaching it in his older years. Mrs. Heartstrings had been the source of Lyra’s wonderful singing voice, and was still very charming to listen to these days. Bon Bon added, out of earshot of Lyra, when she had gone to the restroom, that it was her uncle Lute, the one who had been sick with Goronide Bolezn in the past, who shared Lyra’s enthusiasm for what other Equestrians deemed ‘fairy tales’, like humans and seaponies. He had been at the house when they visited.

“And how did he react when Lyra told him one of her friends is a human?” I asked.

“Lute was over the moon about it,” said Bon Bon, unable to restrain an amused smile at the recollection. “He said he’d been waiting for the day to prove he wasn’t just being batty. He and Lyra started doing this dance he said he’d been practicing for just such an occasion. He wasn’t allowed to gloat too long, though, but he seemed satisfied.”

“That’s good,” I said. “Pride in being right’s one thing, but it doesn’t help to rub it in somepony’s face.”

“Exactly.”

She paused, then said, in a gentler tone,

“Dave, it’s going to feel a lot different without you helping out after the holidays are over. Of course we’ll call you in if we need an extra hoof, or hand, in your case, but we’ll miss having you in every week.”

“I know,” I said, regretfully. “I’ve had a lot of fun helping out, and it was my pleasure to lend you some assistance. I’ll still drop by to visit when I can, and I hope we’ll still be on for piano lessons.”

“Of course, dude,” said Lyra, who had just come back. “Somepony’s gotta train you up to be the next Buckthoveen.”

“What, are you gonna make me deaf to boot?” I asked, sardonically.

“Sacrifices for genius’s sake are sometimes necessary,” said Lyra.

“Lyra!” chided Bon Bon.

“I’m kidding, Bonnie.”

I couldn’t help chuckling. I was gonna miss working alongside these ponies, even if it wasn’t going to be the last I ever saw of them. I wondered what I should do afterwards, who else might need some hired assistance. Maybe I should check the Express for help wanted ads. 

Regardless, the rest of that work day passed normally, and when it was time to head home, we bid each other a happy Hearth’s Warming.

“See you bright and early Monday!” said Bon Bon.

“Hopefully there’ll still be a lot of ponies who have a hankering for some holiday candy,” said Lyra.

“Like you?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Yep!” said Lyra, sticking her tongue out cheekily.

“Well, before we part, ladies, I’ve got some things for you.” 

I’d had the idea to bring Lyra and Bon Bon’s gifts with me to work, stowed inside my jacket, and now I handed them out to the two. Lyra turned hers over in her magic, trying to guess what it could be by shaking it. I couldn’t suppress a grimace at this; what if she damaged the antique inside by doing that? Bon Bon thankfully had more sense, and merely stowed hers away with a smile.

“Thank you, Dave,” she said. “This was very sweet of you.”

“Yeah, man, thanks!” said Lyra. “Just wait until you see what we-”

“Lyra…” said Bon Bon, in a warning tone. “Don’t go giving too much away.”

“Oh, right. Sorry.”

“Well, then, good night, ladies, and Happy Hearth’s Warming.”

“You too!” they said in unison, and we parted.

It was a crisp, cool evening, the air scented with pine, wood fires, and the wafts of baking from open windows. There was no snow falling, but a fine layer lay on the ground, crunching beneath my boots. Times like this made it difficult to worry about anything, and though I still thought about what I should do for Moonlight, I wasn’t going to let it turn into a stress frenzy. I’d figure something out, hopefully.

Friday, December 23

> Hearth's Warming Eve
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was Hearth’s Warming Eve at last, only one more day until the big one. I was up earlier than usual, making sure the house still looked presentable for the arrival of the Pie sisters. I was just as anxious as when I was waiting for the slumber party guests to arrive, if not more so. I had no idea when they would arrive, but I would not be caught off-guard with a filthy house. It was about half-past 9 when I was finally satisfied, wiping my sweaty brow.

“Now then,” I said to myself, in a business-like tone, “First order of business: start delivering the gifts for everypony. While I’m at it, I should also try to find something for Moonlight, even if it’s not what I had planned at the start.”

I couldn’t suppress a grin as I imagined myself dressed like St. Nick, hauling a wagon full of presents behind me and laughing with a merry ‘Ho ho ho!’ I shook my head to clear my thoughts, then said,

“Ok, then. First stop: Sweet Apple Acres. I’ll just grab their gifts, and maybe the chocolate fountain, since the clubhouse is on the way, and we can get started.”


***


I didn’t encounter any of the Crusaders on my way to the clubhouse, so the chocolate fountain, with its card, was stowed away inside for all of them to see. With that out of the way, it became so much easier to see where I was going, so I headed for Sweet Apple Acres. As I approached, the strongly sweet smell of baking apples and cinnamon filled my nostrils, telling me that the Apples were making pies. Even though I’d already had breakfast, my stomach began rumbling.

Apple Bloom was playing with Winona in the snow. Fortunately, she didn’t spy me as I headed for the house. Hopefully she stayed there, because I didn’t want an awkward situation where I’d have to explain why I didn’t have a present for her. Of course, I knew she’d love the chocolate fountain, but I didn’t want to hurt her feelings accidentally, and I had no clue if ponies had some Santa-like figure I would be spoiling for her. 

Inside, Big Macintosh was seated on a hearth rug, a book opened on the floor in front of him, and which seemed to be keeping him completely absorbed. The kitchen door was closed, but I could hear clattering coming from it, telling me that Applejack and Granny Smith were hard at work. Not wanting to look like I was just barging in, I knocked on the side of the door frame, and Big Mac looked up from his book.

“Howdy, Dave,” he said. “Happy Hearth’s Warmin’ Eve.”

“Same to you, Big Mac,” I said. “I’ve got gifts for all of you, and I had a favor to ask as well.”

“Eeyup,” said Big Mac, standing up. “Thank ya kindly.”

“My pleasure,” I said, handing the gifts to him. “Would you mind terribly if I borrowed a cart? I’ve got a lot more gifts to deliver.”

“Eenope. Ah’ll go and get one ready for ya.”

Setting the gifts under a decorated tree in the corner, Big Mac led me into the stables, where there were quite a few carts sitting at the ready, some looking almost brand-new, others in varying states of disrepair. He paused to tinker with one of them, and when he finally stepped away, I saw what looked like a rickshaw. I gripped the sidebars and gave it a preliminary pull. The wheels rolled as smooth as butter.

“Thanks a heap, Big Mac,” I said. “Now I won’t have to keep running back and forth to and from my house. I’ll bring it back once I’m all finished.”

“No rush,” said Big Mac. “Since you’re here, we might as well give ya our gift to you.”

He headed off before I could say anything, then returned with a hefty, gift-wrapped box, the wrapping paper a vivid green and spotted with pictures of apples. He set it gently inside the cart.

“Ohh, you guys didn’t have to go to the trouble,” I said, humbly.

“Weren’t no trouble at all,” said Big Mac, kindly. “Ah’ll let AJ and Granny know you stopped by.”

“Ok. Thanks again, Big Mac.”

Gripping the shafts, I wheeled the cart out of the barn. It got bumpier as it went into the snow, but thankfully, it wasn’t too deep, and I was soon cutting a double-track back toward home, ready to play Santa Claus with my fellow townsfolk.


***


With my cart now loaded up with Hearth’s Warming gifts (at least as many as it could carry), I was going to set out into Ponyville to seek out my friends, when I realized the Hooves’ were right there nearby. Grabbing the now gift-wrapped sign I had painted and the box for Derpy, I headed over and rapped on the door. For a few seconds, there was no answer, then the doorknob rattled, and Scootaloo pulled open the door, floating in the air to reach the latch.

“Hey, Dave!” 

“Hiya, Scoot! How are you feeling?”

“Loads better! So’s Dinky. That stuff was nasty, but it sure did the trick. So what’s up?”

“Are your mom and Sparkler home?”

“No, Mom’s got mail duty, and Sparkler’s out doing some last-minute shopping. Why?”

“I’ve got some gifts for them,” I said. “Can you tell them I dropped by to deliver them? And by the by,” I added, in a sly voice, “I checked the clubhouse before coming over here. There might be something for the four of you in there.”

“Really?” asked Scootaloo, eagerly. “What is it?”

“‘Fraid I can’t say,” I said, shrugging. “However, I am going to trust that neither you nor the others will open it until tomorrow. Do I have your word on that?”

Scootaloo saluted with vigor.

“Crusader’s honor!” she said, stoutly.

“Atta girl,” I said, approvingly, and handed her the parcels one after the other, so she could set them down easily. “Thanks, Scoot. Tell Dinky I said hi, ok? I’ve got loads more to do.”

“I will. See ya, Dave!”

And she closed the door behind me as I went back to the cart, ready, for real, this time, to set out for Ponyville.


***


Now I knew what it felt like to be a cart horse hauling at a stagecoach or wagon. Well, perhaps not entirely, since this was a rickshaw rather than a harness cart. I waved to the ponies I passed, who greeted me in kind. I was near town square when a familiar, boyish voice rang out from above.

“Hey, Dave!”

Looking up, I spotted Rainbow Dash leaning over a cloud just above me, gazing at me.

“Nice cart!” she said.

“Thanks!” I called back. “Come on down here! I’ve got something for you!”

With her usual jet-engine roar, she soared down and landed in front of me, looking faintly puzzled. Digging around in the cart, I pulled out her gift and handed it to her, as if I were offering a sword to a king. This was partly because the rolled-up poster inside did make it nearly sword-like. Grasping it in her hooves, Rainbow looked at me with an eager smile on her face. I wondered if she already guessed what it was.

“Thanks, dude!” she said. “Just hang tight for a sec, k?”

She zoomed off into the air with the speed of a jet plane, disappearing among the clouds. Not even two minutes elapsed before she was back, the present I’d given her no longer in her hooves, but something flat, circular, and colorfully wrapped in its place.

“I got this for you,” she said, handing it to me. “If you’re going around handing out gifts, I might as well give you mine now.”

“Thanks, Rainbow,” I said. “Any idea what the weather will be like for today and tomorrow?”

“A light snowfall tonight, and clear skies tomorrow,” she said, proudly. “Perfect Hearth’s Warming weather.”

“Excellent! I’ll see you later, then. I’ve still got a lot to do.”

“Gotcha. See ya!”

And she zoomed off once again, while I carefully placed her gift into the cart, as I didn’t doubt it might be something fragile, and continued on.


***


This plan wasn’t exactly going as I had anticipated. I had knocked at the doors of practically every addressee on my list, but I received no answers, meaning they were all out on some holiday errand. My arms were already beginning to ache with tiredness from pulling the wagon. What was more, I was getting hungry. Maybe I’d head home, unload what I’d gotten already, have lunch, then set out again afterwards. I thought grimly that if I was already getting winded, I might be getting out of shape. Perhaps that could be my goal for January, to exercise more regularly.

Well, as long as I was here in town, I might as well find something for Moonlight. I was having to dip into my stipendiary dues a little for this, but if it meant getting that last gift, it would be worth it. I browsed the shop windows, still hauling the cart behind me. My eyes finally rested on the window display of what looked like a film shop. When I was a kid, I used to go to Blockbuster to check out a movie or video game. This was back when everyone still used VHS tapes. This place, however, sold movies on film reels. What really caught my eye, though, was a reel that had been placed front and center:

“Daring Do: The Movie”

My heart skipped a beat. I remembered, weeks and weeks ago, Scootaloo mentioning a Daring Do movie, and here it was! Moonlight would be nuts to have this, I just knew it! Even if she didn’t have a projector herself, the library had one, and I was sure Twilight wouldn’t mind letting her borrow it. Heck, Twi and Rainbow could watch it with us! It was perfect!

Within minutes, I’d bought the reel (making a small dent in my stipendiary savings), and had it stowed away in the wagon, wrapped to keep it from being damaged by the cold. It felt as if a lead weight had lifted from my heart. I’d found something for Moonlight after all. My mission was complete. This would be a happy Hearth’s Warming after all. 

I headed back home, unloaded the cart of everything, along with what I’d already received in return, and placed them in another corner, so as not to confuse them with my pile of ‘to deliver’ gifts. After that, I went to the kitchen to get something started.

I was just finishing a cheese sandwich when there came a rapid knock at the door. I nearly choked on the last mouthful, but forced it down.

“Is that them already? Good gravy!”

I went to put my plate away, during which the knock persisted again.

“Coming!” I called, hurrying to the door.

When I opened it up, however, it was neither of the Pie sisters. It was a gruff-looking, burly stallion with heavy five o’clock shadow.

“You Mr. Dave?” he asked, in a rough, Brooklyn accent.

“Er, yes.”

“Need ya to sign here.”

He thrust a clipboard under my face, a pencil attached to it.

“What for?” I asked.

“Special delivery from Ms. Bon Bon and Ms. Lyra Heartstrings.”

From Lyra and Bon Bon? This must have been what they were talking about. Intrigued, I took the pencil and signed my name. As soon as I had, the clipboard was whisked away.

“Where d’ya want it?” asked the stallion.

“Er, I dunno. Wherever’s convenient, I suppose.”

The unicorn turned away from me and shouted over his shoulder,

“All right, boys! Take ‘er away!”

The next thing I knew, a blinding flash of light filled the living room. Spots winking in front of my eyes, I blinked several times, but even with my vision cleared, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Two sturdy-looking unicorns had appeared inside my house, both with a hoof on either side of something large, rectangular, and wrapped in a thick tarp. It had been set against one of the side walls, where it had plenty of room. This done, they doffed their caps to me and stepped out.

“Happy Hearth’s Warmin’,” grunted the head stallion, and he took his leave.

It took me a few moments to unjam my brain from that little bout of ‘what the heck’. I closed the door and looked at the huge object I had just received. Well, perhaps ‘huge’ was an exaggeration, as it was close to myself in height. Pinned to the tarp was a note that read,

“To Dave
From Bon Bon and Lyra
Do not open until Hearth’s Warming Day”

The bottom of the note contained a watermark that looked like Bon Bon’s cutie mark. As neat as it was to imagine that she had her own personalized stationery, I was blown away by the sheer size and bulk of this...whatever it was! What could they have possibly sent me? A bookcase, perhaps? It seemed as big and in the same shape as one.

There was another knock at the door, knocking me out of my thoughts. Hurriedly, I opened it up to encounter Derpy’s beaming face.

“Oh! Hey, Derpy. Still working even on the Eve?”

“Hiya, Dave! Don’t worry, I’ve got tomorrow off, doubly so since it’s Sunday. Lucky, huh? You’ve got some mail, and one of these looks really flashy!”

She handed over two letters, one looking very official, and the other, as Derpy had said, rather gaudy in appearance, covered in blue stars. As I looked at it, I could have sworn the stars twinkled.

“Thanks, Derpy,” I said. “Got a happy Hearth’s Warming planned?”

“Of course,” said the motherly mare, brightly. “In fact, I’d love for you to share it with us.”

“Come again?” I asked, puzzled.

“How would you like to spend Hearth’s Warming Eve with us? We’ll have plenty of food, and the girls would love to have you.”

At first, I hesitated. Derpy wanted me to spend the Eve with her and the girls? Did she know I had no one else to spend it with? With a powerful feeling of warmth and appreciation, I said,

“Thanks, Derpy. I’d love to.”

Derpy beamed.

“Great! Well, I’d better get the rest of my deliveries sorted out. See you then!”

Derpy flapped away to continue her deliveries, while I looked over the letters I’d received. Opening the official one first, I read out,

“Dear Mr. David,
This is to inform you that you have been granted a year’s free subscription to the Ponyville Express, in accordance with your diligent and appreciated patronage.
Happy Hearth’s Warming,
Headliner
Editor-in-Chief”

“Well!” I said, pleased. “That’s friendly of them. I won’t say no to this.”

Setting this aside, I opened the other letter. I had a feeling who it was from when I first laid eyes on the flashy envelope, but I was confirmed upon opening the parchment inside. It was stamped with watermarks of a very familiar magic wand-esque cutie mark, and the handwriting was bold, grand, and loopy.

“Dear Dave,
Your holiday greetings have been appreciated by one who has captured Manehattan by storm. As one of my most committed fans, Trixie is willing to share some of her holiday glory with you. Be grateful, for it is surely the best present that one such as yourself can receive. Everything is going splendidly on Trixie’s tour of Equestria! The name of Trixie has regained much of its old respect, and her fanbase has swelled to new heights! Trixie can’t say she’s surprised Ponyville is lacking without her presence; she dares say she brought a little liveliness to the charming but dull little burg when she arrived. Trixie hopes you are doing well and are in good spirits. You need not pine for her long; when winter has passed and spring returns once more, you may find her not as far away as you think.
Happy Hearth’s Warming!
Festively yours,
The Great and Powerful Trixie”

Her signature was just as good as an autograph, and I couldn’t help chuckling. It was good to know that Trixie was still doing well for herself, and even better that she was thinking of returning to Ponyville. I wouldn’t be sorry for another sight of her. I set her letter and the one from Headliner safely to one side, then got ready to pack the cart up again.


***


I was just stepping out of the house, loading the last of the parcels into the cart, when I saw a familiar shape bouncing towards me. As most ponies I knew, with the exception of the Crusaders, usually just walked or trotted, my guess was that a Pinkie encounter was coming along. 

Sure enough, it was Pinkie, looking jubilant. Before I could react, she pounced, tackling me into one of her bone-bending embraces.

“Hi, Davie!” she sang, nuzzling me affectionately. “Happy Hearth’s Warming Eve!”

“Same to you, Pinkie,” I said, in a strained voice. “What brings you around here?”

“My hooves brought me,” said Pinkie, giggling. “They seemed to want me to come and see you, since we’ve both been so busy lately. Who was I to say no?”

“Well, I am glad to see you, Pinks,” I said, giving her a squeeze. “Got any plans for today?”

“I was gonna go around and deliver gifts to all of my friends. They’ve been piling up lately.”

I blinked at her. She was on the same errand as I was?

“Really?” I asked.

“Yes indeedy!”

She peeked past me to look at the loaded cart.

“What’s that for?” she asked.

“Funnily enough, some of it is for you,” I said. “I was on my way out the door to see you, and there you are.”

“Ooh! That is funny!” said Pinkie, grinning. “You must’ve known I was coming!”

Her expression suddenly grew very serious, and she reared up, pressing her nose against mine and boring into my eyes with her sharp, baby-blue gaze. It was like she was trying to employ Legilimency on me.

“Are you...psychic?” she whispered, dramatically.

“Er, no.”

“Wow,” she said, pulling away again. “Could have fooled me. For a second, I thought you’d been reading my mind.”

(Trust me, Pinkie: you’re my best friend, but I would never want to learn what goes on in your head.)

“Well, Pinkie, this is for you.”

I fished around in the cart and pulled out the parcel that was her wrapped bag of candy. Upon spying it, her eyes lit up, and she eagerly accepted it into her hooves. She gave it a hard stare, bouncing it slightly in her hooves. She was muttering something under her breath, as though she knew its weight to the ounce.

(It’s like she already knows what it is. Was there even a point in wrapping it?)

However, she looked at me with a bright smile and said,

“Thanks, Davie! No idea what it could be, but I can’t wait to see!” 

(I stand corrected.)

“I’ve got you a little something too!” she went on.

Setting her present down, she raised her tail and gave it a sharp flick, as though batting at a fly. Something bulky and wrapped came flying out of the dark-pink fluff and landed with a *thump* in the snow. I felt my jaw fall open. How in the world had she kept that in there?!

“Pinkie...how did...what the…”

“Oops! Almost forgot the card!”

She took a deep breath and covered her snout with her hoof, so that her cheeks bulged. With a small *pop*, an enveloped card sprung from the top of her mane, like toast from a toaster! As casually as if she were answering a telephone call, she placed it in my hand, and, with an effort, I shut my gaping trap.

“Hey,” said Pinkie, slowly, as if an idea had dawned on her, “I just got a great idea! How about I give you a hoof and deliver your gifts for you? I mean, I’m already planning to hand out my gifts to everypony, so why not do yours too? It’d, uh...what was that phrase you used again? Murder a bird twice with a rock?”

(We’re not seriously doing this again, are we?)

“Kill two birds with one stone?” I asked, dryly.

“Yeah!”

“I dunno, Pinkie. I don’t want to load you with so much.”

“It’s no biggie! I wanna help you! Besides, no offense, pulling carts is more of a pony thing than a human thing.”

Before I could offer another word of protest, she had hopped behind the pull bar. She smiled at me innocently.

“Pinkie, if you really wanna do this, more power to you,” I said, in a defeated voice. “I just don’t want to give you too much to do.”

“It’s ok, Davie. I’ll be fine. It’s gonna be a busy day for me anyway. See ya later!”

With that, she headed off, trotting briskly rather than bouncing, with the cart rolling smoothly behind her. She was humming tunelessly as she went, as I had often heard her do when she was in high spirits. She did seem to be enjoying herself, so my protests were falling on deaf ears, and all I could do was awkwardly wave goodbye as she looked back. On the other hand, I would have liked to have been able to spend time with her, rather than just let her take on work I should have been doing. I inwardly swore to myself that I would find a day to dedicate to nothing but time with my best pony pal.


***


I was rearranging the furniture in the house for what felt like the tenth time, trying to make it look the most cozy for the arrival of guests. Even if they weren’t the stiffest ponies in the world, I still couldn’t help wondering how critical an eye rock farmers had for interior decorating, if they were so fastidious about rock placement. I probably couldn’t judge them by Pinkie’s standard, and she was the only other rock farmer I knew of.

There came another knock at the door. I froze. Could it be them at last? Feeling slightly nervous, I headed to the door and opened it, but once again, there was no Pie sister on the doorstep. Instead, there was Moonlight, smiling sweetly and looking excited about something.

“Hi, Dave!” she said.

“Hey, Moonlight. You’re very cheery today.”

“I’ve got plenty of reason to be!” she said, a slight squeal in her tone. “The Hooves invited me over to spend the Eve with them!”

“Really?” I asked, amazed. “You too?”

“Derpy came by after delivering the mail. When I told her I had no plans for today or tomorrow, she invited me over to spend the rest of the day with them!”

I felt another surge of gratitude towards Derpy, accompanied by sympathy for Moonlight. The young pegasus and I were practically in the same boat, and to allow the both of us to share the holiday with her was one of the kindest acts Derpy had ever done.

“That’s wonderful, Moonlight. Why don’t we head on over together? I’m expecting some company, but I was already going to leave a note and say where I’m going.”

“Ok!” said Moonlight. “Who are you expecting?”

Making sure Pinkie wasn’t anywhere near here (that crazy pony sometimes scared me with her potential to pop up anywhere), I leaned down and whispered,

“Pinkie’s sisters.”

Moonlight looked quite astonished.

“Her sisters?”

“Yeah. It’s part of my gift for her. She’ll go nuts to see them again, I know it!”

Moonlight beamed.

“You always know how to think of everything, don’t you?” she asked.

“I try,” I said, modestly.


***


“Dave! Moonlight! Welcome!”

Derpy had flung the door wide open when she saw it was the pair of us, and we entered. The Hooves household was very warm, due to the roaring fire crackling merrily in the fireplace. A magnificently-decorated tree stood in another corner, covered in gleaming ornaments and garlands of tinsel. Only the star remained to be placed on top, and Scootaloo and Dinky were arguing over who should place it on. Sparkler, looking irritable, was trying to break up the squabble, and looked relieved to see us enter.

“Ah! Hello, Dave, Moonlight!” she said.

My fellow Crusaders looked up at the mention of the name, and grinned welcomingly at us.

“What’s all the fuss about?” Derpy asked.

“Scootaloo wants to put the star on just so she can show off flying again!” Dinky protested.

“No I don’t!” said Scootaloo, indignantly. “I just think it’s safer than you trying to magic it up!”

“Girls, girls,” said Derpy, stepping between them and separating them. “Please don’t bicker, not on Hearth’s Warming Eve…”

I couldn’t help feeling a little alarmed. Scootaloo and Dinky had always got along very well with each other. I had never seen them arguing before. Then again, no batch of brothers or sisters was ever perfect. I well remembered the constant bickerings I had with my older sister, though we had grown much more mellow with each other after growing up. I supposed this was just an inevitable part of being siblings, adoptive or biological.

“I don’t see what’s to argue about,” Moonlight piped up. “Can’t Scootaloo just lift Dinky and have her put the star up?”

“Yeah,” I chipped in, catching on. “That way, you both would be doing it.”

Scootaloo and Dinky blinked at us, then at each other. In unison, they cried,

“Why didn’t I think of that?”

No more was said on it, and Scootaloo, tucking her forelegs under Dinky’s, lifted her up to the top of the tree, the star clutched in the unicorn’s tiny hooves. Slowly, with her tongue sticking out, as if this were a precise art, she placed the star on top, and those of us below applauded. The two descended slowly, looking both pleased and sheepish.

“Well, now that that’s taken care of,” said Derpy, “who’d like some eggnog?”


***


It was one of the best holiday get-togethers I had yet experienced. Sparkler’s magic dished out eggnog, holiday cookies, fudge, and other eatables. These were set out for anypony’s convenience if they felt peckish, and I saw Scootaloo and Dinky trying to restrain themselves from diving at the cookies and fudge, though they kept shooting furtive glances at them. I knew how they felt; I had an incurable sweet tooth. Moonlight was the most at her ease I’d ever seen her, talking and laughing freely as she sipped her eggnog. It was almost like she was part of the family herself.

The conversation was mostly this and that, but I was most interested to hear Sparkler say she had met with Minister Ironmane and Brutus.

“Everything went very smoothly,” she told me. “I don’t know what you said about me, but they were quite agreeable with the situation.” For a brief instant, her face became stony, and she said, in a clipped and official tone, “‘You drive a very hard bargain, Miss Hooves, but I’m a Canterlot stick-in-the-mud, and I approve of any deal that will get me out of having to smell this dragon’s breath for one more minute.’”

This got a laugh from all of us, especially me, even though Ironmane would have killed me if he could hear us now.

“I said nothing bad, I assure you,” I said, unable to hide a grin. “But this is fantastic! I knew you were would be the perfect pony for this, Sparkler!”

Sparkler smiled gratefully.

“A whole restaurant for dragons,” breathed Scootaloo. “I still can’t wrap my head around it. It’ll be huge! One table would probably be as big as a mountain!”

“Well, I for one think this is an excellent venture,” said Derpy. “I’ve heard some nasty stuff about mail ponies getting attacked by dragons when they fly over the wastelands, as though they were the only delivery game in town. It’s high time we started cooperating, even if their packages come out smelling like rotten eggs.”

“Hear, hear,” I said, raising my half-full glass of ‘nog, and one of my eyebrows at the odd comments.

“Hey, Dave?” Dinky piped up. “What’s it like where you come from, around this time of year?”

I lowered my glass, frowning slightly. It wasn’t because I was annoyed with Dinky, but because I was weighing my answer.

“Very similar to this,” I said. “Where I come from, we celebrate several different holidays, depending on what system of beliefs you follow. My family celebrates a holiday called Christmas, which is very much like Hearth’s Warming.”

The fillies ‘Oooh’ed, and the mares listened with rapt attention.

“Tell us more!” said Moonlight, eagerly.

“All right, all right. Where to begin?”

I don’t know how long it took, but I found myself descending into an explanation of everything I could explain about Christmas. I told them about the exchange of gifts, the stockings hung by the fire, the carols and songs we sang, the tradition of a man and woman kissing under the mistletoe (this sent the mares into a fit of the giggles, though Scootaloo and Dinky both said ‘Eww!’), the evenings spent in front of the fire roasting chestnuts and marshmallows, decorating Christmas trees and stringing lights around our houses, and finally, the legend of Santa Claus and his yearly nighttime sleigh ride to deliver gifts to all of the good children of the world. The fillies liked this best of all, while Derpy said it sounded ‘very sweet’.

“An old man delivering gifts to everyone in the world in one night?” Moonlight asked. “How does he manage it?”

“Magic,” I said, lazily.

“Ohh, that makes sense, then,” said Sparkler, satisfied.

From there, the conversation became general once again, though I was occasionally asked to re-clarify something I had told them about Christmas. The songs I had described to them seemed to strike their fancy, and they attempted to sing them for themselves, especially enjoying ‘Frosty the Snowpony’ and ‘Rudolph the Red-Nosed Pegasus’. Scootaloo’s vocalizations, however, left much to be desired. Thankfully nopony had to force her to stop; she ended fairly quickly. 

It felt strange; during my first week in Ponyville, I had sat down for a Q&A with Twilight, Lyra, and Spike, and didn’t think I’d be doing something similar anytime after. The idea of making a big speech to all of Equestria had long since died away, though I felt sure Twilight hadn’t completely forgotten. Still, I felt much more at ease describing stuff about my own world, especially with such an attentive audience. Who knows? I might get there eventually.

The afternoon passed by very pleasantly in a haze of talking, jokes, singing, and we were all feeling very content as evening came. Sparkler got up and disappeared into the kitchen, probably to get dinner started, and sure enough, we could smell something wonderfully tantalizing coming from the kitchen. Even after the little nibbles I’d been having from time to time, I was beginning to get hungry.

“I really should give her a hoof, make sure she’s got everything under control,” said Derpy.

“No, just relax, Mama,” said Dinky, placing her little hooves on her mother’s foreleg. “You did so much today. You ought to relax.”

“Oh, Dinky, you’re so sweet,” cooed Derpy, giving the unicorn a kiss on the forehead.

I couldn’t help but feel like Dinky was trying to keep her mother out of the kitchen. Whether this was because Sparkler preferred to cook by herself, or because she was worried that Derpy would set their kitchen on fire, I wasn’t sure. That had been one funny story, but I don't think they wanted it to happen again this year. Still, the compliment felt genuine.

“Come and get it!” came Sparkler’s voice, some time later.

None of us needed to be told twice. As one, we leaped up and headed for the dining room, where plate after plate and dish after dish of piping hot food were being laid out. As we took our seats, I could see mashed potatoes, corn, green beans, rolls, butter, quiche, mashed yams, applesauce, and, as the center of attention, a veggie pot pie. There were pitchers of milk and apple juice standing like sentinels at either end. At least, I hoped it was juice, rather than cider.

“It all looks wonderful, Sparkler!” said Derpy, proudly, as her eldest daughter sat beside her.

“Thanks, Mom,” said Sparkler. “It was my first time making a pot pie, so I hope it turned out all right.”

The ponies seemed to be preparing to divvy out the food, but I had a sudden inspiration. I’m not sure if they noticed me or not, but I closed my eyes, clasped my hands in my lap, and bowed my head, in prayer.

“Dave, what are you doing?” I heard Scootaloo ask.

“Nothing, Scootaloo,” I said, raising my head at last. “I was just praying for everypony to have good fortune, and thanking God for getting to know such good friends.”

“Thanks!” said Scootaloo. “We’re glad to know you too.”

We began to dig in. The food was wonderful, and though I would probably regret it later, I couldn’t help taking second helpings of my especial favorites. Dinky had drizzled gravy over everything on her plate, something that earned her funny looks from Scootaloo, but the little unicorn seemed quite unfazed. There was little noise but the clinking of silverware on plates and comments on the excellency of the food. It felt like I was back home with my own family.

“Dave? Are you all right?” Derpy asked.

I gave a start. A tear had started working its way down my cheek, and I hadn’t even known. I wiped it away.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” I said. “I’m just...really grateful to be here with all of you. Thank you for allowing Moonlight and me to share Hearth’s Warming Eve with you.”

The four Hooves and Moonlight beamed at me. 

“‘Course we’d invite you,” said Dinky. “You’re practically part of the family!”

“That’s right,” said Scootaloo.

“Thanks, girls,” I said, warmly.

Without another word, I returned to my plate..


***


I felt full to bursting. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d eaten so much, and my pants certainly hadn’t felt this tight when I had come over. I had barely managed to finish off one of Derpy’s specialty muffins for dessert, and I was now full and sleepy. Sparkler and Derpy were covering up what remained, and Moonlight’s eyes were half-closed, her hooves resting on her full stomach.

“Derpy, Sparkler, thanks very much for having us,” I said. “Today was absolutely wonderful.”

“Oh, it was our pleasure,” said Derpy, kindly. “You two don’t deserve spending the holidays alone.”

Despite the huge meal, Scootaloo and Dinky were still wide awake and full of energy. They seemed to be in great anticipation for tomorrow.

“You two can play for another hour,” said Sparkler, “but then it’s straight off to bed. There’s gifts waiting in the morning for all good little foals.”

“Yay!” the two cheered, as they jumped down from their seats.

“Don’t forget to say your good nights!” Sparkler said, just before they were about to rush off.

“Good night!” they said, in unison.

“Good night, kids,” I said. “Sleep well.”

Moonlight didn’t answer. She had already nodded off as the kids left.

“I think we should let her spend the night here,” said Derpy. “She can head home in the morning.”

“Yeah, that’d probably be the best option,” I said, “but I have to get going. I’m expecting guests of my own. Good night, you two.”

“Good night, Dave,” said Sparkler.

“I’ll walk you out,” said Derpy.

Standing up heavily, I followed Derpy to the door. There, she turned to me and said, with a wide, cheerful grin that set her eyes straight,

“Foals aren't the only ones who can get exactly what they wanted for Hearth’s Warming. I'd love to see the look on your face when you get our gift. It’ll be brilliant!”

I wasn’t quite sure what she meant, but the warm tone it was spoken in touched my heart, and I smiled gratefully.

“Thanks, Derpy. Good night.”

“Good night.”

She held the door open for me, and I headed off into the darkness. As I neared home, I turned around to gaze at the Hooves house again, but the door was already closed.

I had just taken off the note on the door and tucked it away in my pocket when I heard the creak of wheels coming up towards me. Turning around, I saw Pinkie wheeling the cart back, looking as chipper as if she had just woken up.

“Evening, Davie!” she said, brightly. “Everypony you had gifts for has been delivered to!”

“Awesome!” I said, relieved. “Thanks a bundle, Pinkie.”

“Didja have a good Eve?”

“Yeah. Moonlight and I spent it with the Hooves family.”

“Oh! That sounds like it was a lot of fun!”

“It was, believe me. Did you still have a good time wheeling that cart around?”

“Yep-a-roonie! I got to see all of my friends and make them smile as I handed out their gifts! I’m just gonna return the cart for you, then head on back home.”

“Pinkie, you’re too good to me,” I said, smiling.

“Only the best for my besties!” said Pinkie, sweetly. “G’night, Davie!”

“Good night, Pinkie.”

Pinkie trotted off, while I weighed my options. If the Pie sisters hadn’t arrived yet, I supposed I should go to the train station and meet them there. I was dead-tired, but I wasn’t about to blow this, either. So, with a supreme effort, I stepped away from my warm, snug home and started making my way toward the station.


***


I didn’t dare check my watch, as I didn’t want to know how long I was bullying myself into staying awake for. I just slumped onto a bench as soon as I arrived and sat, waiting for any sign of them, shivering slightly in the cold and snow. The late-night trains came bustling in, and my tired, aching eyes roved over every pony who came off at those times, but neither resembled Pinkie’s sisters. I was beginning to get nervous and rather impatient when suddenly, I spotted them!

I had only seen them once before I was ousted from the farm, but I felt I could still distinguish the two sisters from each other: Marble with her light gray coat and dark gray mane, Limestone with her purplish-blue coat and white-gray mane. Both were wearing loaded saddlebags, and looked tired but content. Closer to, I could see some subtle differences between them. For one, Marble, while not quite as much as Pinkie, was a little plumper than Limestone, and her face was much softer and gentler. For another, despite Pinkie describing Limestone's more abrasive temperament, she looked fairly amiable tonight; perhaps being off the farm had gotten some stress off her withers. 

I got stiffly to my feet and went to greet them.

“Ladies!” I said, relieved. “I’m so glad you made it. Welcome to Ponyville!”

“Hello, Dave,” said Marble, kindly. “We’re really sorry we took so long.”

“We figured we’d surprise Pinkie the best if we came in when she might still be asleep,” said Limestone. "It's not easy to surprise her."

“It’s all right,” I said. “She’s going to be really happy to see you, I know it. Well, shall we?”

“Lead the way!” said the two in unison.

My legs felt like lead, and my head and eyes were aching with tiredness, but I lead the way back through town and toward my house. I kept glancing over my shoulder, both to make sure the two were still behind me, and to ensure that Pinkie didn’t spy them. I needn’t have bothered; all was clear, and I only succeeded in giving myself a pain in the neck.

“We’re really sorry about how Dad treated you,” said Marble. “It was really unfair to send you back by yourself, just because of what that Tribune mare wrote.”

"I would've loved to give her a piece of my mind," muttered Limestone, darkly.

“Don’t worry about it,” I said. “It’s all water under the bridge now, right?”

“Yeah,” said Limestone. “Pinkie’s told us a lot about you, though.”

“Has she?” I asked.

“Of course!” said Marble. “She seems very fond of you.”

“Yeah," said Limestone, with a chuckle, "almost like the two of you are-”

“Limestone!” chided Marble.

“Come on, I’m only kidding!”

I felt a rush of embarrassment heat my cheeks at these words, but it was thankfully hidden from their faces.

“Well, she is the one who found me and sheltered me when I first arrived,” I said. “I owe a lot to her.”

“So do we,” said Marble. “She taught us all to smile and have fun for the first time." 

"You should hear some of the things she got up to before she left the farm,” said Limestone. "She was one wild filly after she got her cutie mark."

“But you still enjoy rock farming?” I asked.

“Of course,” said Limestone. “It's hard work, but that’s what makes it worth it.”

“Dad’s got the best rock collection in all of Equestria,” said Marble. “Nopony else seems very interested, though.”

“Not like that stops him,” said Limestone. “He knows Equestria’s full of ponies who take the fruits of the soil for granted.”

(Man, I never thought I’d meet ponies who were this passionate about rocks…)

At last, we arrived at my house, and I bowed the two Pies inside. They looked about in mild interest at the interior.

“Very cozy,” said Limestone.

“What’s that over there?” Marble asked, pointing at the hulk that had been delivered to me.

“No idea,” I said. “I have to wait until tomorrow to find out. Well, ladies, I’ve already made arrangements. If you want, you can split the bed, while I crash on the couch.”

“Oh, no, none of that,” said Marble, in a gently reproachful voice. “Limestone and I have sleeping bags. We had a feeling you’d want to be chivalrous about this.”

“We appreciate it, Dave,” said Limestone, “really, but we’re not about to let you give up your bed.”

“You’re both sure?” I asked.

“Absolutely,” said the two in unison again.

“All right, then," I said, shrugging. "I can’t really say no if you already have sleeping bags. Make yourselves comfortable, then.”

The two set their saddlebags down in my bedroom, making very dull thuds as they touched the floor, pulled out tightly-coiled sleeping bags from them, and laid them out beside each other on the floor, near my bed. I allowed them to wash up and brush their teeth first before taking care of myself. By the time I was in my pajamas, I was more tired than I’d ever felt in my life, and I collapsed gratefully onto my bed, settling under the covers. The two sisters were already snuggled into their sleeping bags.

“Good night, Marble, Limestone,” I murmured.

“Good night, Dave,” said Marble.

“G’night,” said Limestone. “Thanks again for letting us stay.”

“No problem,” I said, punctuated by a massive yawn.

Feeling like I couldn’t hold it back any longer, I laid my head on the pillow, ready for a good night’s sleep.

Saturday, December 24

> An Un-Equestrian Child
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I felt like I had barely closed my eyes before I was awake again. I looked over at Marble and Limestone. They were already sound asleep, breathing softly in their sleeping bags. My throat was feeling dry, so I decided I might as well get a glass of water. Stiffly, my head and eyes still heavy, I got up and headed for the kitchen.

I was halfway there when I froze. I had just heard something from one of the nearby windows - a creaking noise - as though someone was trying to open it from the outside. A bright pink shape was moving outside the frame, struggling to lift the latched window. I slapped my brow with my hand, half-exasperated, half-amused. What in the world was Pinkie doing, trying to break into my house? Had she been awake all this time, waiting for this moment? I figured I had better help her out if I was going to get any sleep, so I crossed over and lifted the latch.

Without even noticing my assistance, Pinkie slid the window open and dove through it, trailing behind her an enormous bulging sack. It would have completed the Santa motif she had going if she was even wearing a Santa outfit. Instead, she was wearing a bodysuit, only a shade darker than her coat, along with a domino mask over her eyes. Was she playing Santa or ninja? 

Shaking the snow from her body, she then got into a crouching position, her eyes flitting suspicious glances this way and that. With speed and agility belying her plump physique, she darted behind the couch and armchair, crawled under the coffee table, and hung upside down from the ceiling, all while trailing that big bag with her, and while completely oblivious to the fact that I was watching her. It made me want to laugh.

At last, ‘Pinkie Spy’ seemed to feel that the coast was clear, and she dragged the bag to a corner of the room, where she began unloading its contents. I could see wrapped parcels of all shapes and sizes being dragged out and set down gently with care. Were those...for me?

Finished with her task, she tucked the now empty sack into her mane and turned to leave, at last realizing I was there. She let out a loud gasp that she quickly stifled by clamping a hoof over her muzzle.

“The Pink Shadow has been discovered!” she exclaimed, in a voice that sounded like Batman if he were a dubbed over Japanese film. “I must flee!”

She fumbled at the belt around her waist and pulled out a tiny black pellet. She tossed it at the ground, making a thick puff of smoke, but it only lasted a few seconds, and Pinkie was still standing there, looking about expectantly. I raised an eyebrow.

“Pinkie, that’s usually when ninjas make their escape. The smoke doesn’t just make them disappear.”

“Aw, shoot,” Pinkie grumbled. 

“Now, would you mind telling me why you felt so inclined to sneak into my house so late?”

Pinkie adopted a sly grin, reared up onto her hind legs, and struck a pose not unlike a ninja.

“The window of opportunity always opens in the wake of the Pink Shadow,” she said, in that same harsh and throaty voice.

(But the window of the Dave is usually locked at night.)

“Pinkie, do you have any idea what time it is?”

“Exactly one minute past midnight,” said Pinkie, brightly. “Happy Hearth’s Warming!”

“Er, yeah, likewise,” I said, “but this still doesn’t resolve what you’re doing here.”

“I’m delivering your gifts in return, silly-billy!” said Pinkie, speaking as if I was a naive little boy asking his mother a question. “I delivered everything in the cart to everypony, and they gave me the gifts they had gotten you in return. I wanted to surprise you by delivering them while you sleep.”

“Oh. I see,” I said, feeling a mixture of gratitude and exasperation at this roundabout means of delivery. “Well, Pinkie, that was very sweet of you, and I do appreciate it. I’m not too enthused about the fact that you had the sudden impulse to break into my home, though.”

“Aww, but you said I could visit whenever I wanted,” said Pinkie.

She gazed up at me with one of her sad pouting faces. With a sigh, I reached down and ruffled her mane.

“Of course I like it when you visit, goofball, but I like being warned when you’re about to pop in. We had this discussion after you came back from your parents’ farm, remember?”

“Oh, yeah! Now I remember. But Davie, I’m Pinkie, remember? Not Goof Ball. I do know a Goof Ball, though. Nice stallion. Runs a shop”

“No, Pinkie, I meant- Oh, never mind.”

Suddenly, an idea clicked into my head, brought about by mentioning the farm.

“Speaking of, Pinkie,” I said, slowly, “I forgot to mention that there was a Part 2 to your gift.”

Pinkie’s eyes expanded to the size of dinner plates, the irises quivering with excitement.

“A Part 2? I love Part 2s! What is it?”

“Follow me and I’ll show you. The timing’s perfect.”

Still wearing her goofy spy suit, she followed me to the bedroom, where the two sisters were still sound asleep. I knocked on the door, and Pinkie cocked her ear at the rustling noises inside the room that followed.

“You’ve got guests?” she asked.

“Not just any guests,” I said, then opened the door. “Wake up, girls. Somepony’s here to see you.”

The two gave disjointed groans and mumbles as they stirred, and I may have heard Limestone saying something about ‘moving the boulders’, but soon they were sitting up and rubbing the sleep out of their eyes. I flicked on the light, and Pinkie let out a loud gasp that seemed to suck a double-lungful of air into her. She had recognized the drowsy forms of her own siblings, a mixture of astonishment and glee on her pink face. When Marble and Limestone finally spotted her, their sleepiness instantly vanished, and they looked just as excited as she was, though they didn’t seem to have noticed her ridiculous getup.

“Pinkie!” they said, in unison, scrambling out of their bags.

“Marble! Limestone!” cried Pinkie, bounding forward and enveloping them in a double hug. “I can’t believe you’re here!”

“Surprised?” asked Marble, giggling and nuzzling Pinkie warmly.

“We all wanted to be here, but Mom, Dad, and Grammy couldn’t make it,” said Limestone. “They send their love, though.”

“Were you planning this the whole time?” Pinkie asked.

“Nope. This was all Dave’s idea,” said Marble. “He wrote to us and invited us to see you.”

Pinkie released her sisters and looked at me. Her mouth was formed into a twitchy sort of smile, and I could see tears shining in those blue eyes of hers. I smiled gently at her.

“Happy Hearth’s Warming, Pinkie.”

As I had been expecting, she launched herself at me in the kind of embrace that made me have to support her standing up. She was a lot heavier than I remembered, and I soon fell into a sitting position, her forelegs still clasped tightly around me.

“You’re the most awesomest friend a pony could ask for, Davie,” she said. “It’s exactly what I wanted! Remember to always use your psychic powers for good.”

“Only the best for my besties,” I said, grinning while rolling my eyes.

Pinkie’s smile widened, realizing I had just used her own phrase.

“Davie? Do you mind if I take them back to Sugarcube Corner with me? I know it’s late and all, but-”

“Not at all,” I said. “That makes more sense, actually. As long as you two don’t mind-” I added, looking at the pair of Pie sisters.

“Of course not!” said Limestone. “We’ve been itching to see where Pinkie lives.”

“We’ll just pack up our sleeping bags,” said Marble.

Together, we got them rolled up and stowed away in their saddle bags. I went to help pick them up for them, but found this to be extremely difficult. Both sets weighed a ton!

“Sheesh, what’s in these things? Rocks?”

“Yep!” said the sisters together, proudly.

(Well, ask a silly question…)

“As a matter of fact, we’ve brought you a little something,” said Limestone. “Gimme a sec.”

She dug around in one of her saddlebags and produced a very unusual-colored rock. It was greenish with a yellow ring around it, and done up with a festive bow on top. She plunked it into my hands, making me nearly drop it.

“Er, thanks!” I said, not sure what I was supposed to do with it, but I supposed it was the thought that counted.

“Knew he’d like it!” said Limestone, grinning at her little sister. “What did I tell ya?”

“Yes, yes, Limestone, I know,” said Marble, rolling her eyes smilingly. “Well, Dave, thank you very much for opening your door to us. We really did appreciate you allowing us to come here.”

“It was my pleasure,” I said, graciously. “I hope the two of you have a great time here. Pinkie’s sure to help you accomplish that nicely. I happen to know for a fact that she gives a great tour of Ponyville.”

Pinkie beamed squeakily, and we waited as the two hefted the saddlebags across their hips with much more ease than I would have expected from ponies their size. Working on a rock farm had really toughened them. I walked the three of them to the door, shivering in my pajamas as a blast of cold hit me when I opened it.

“Good night, Davie!” said Pinkie. “And thanks again!”

“Good night, Pies,” I said. “I’ll probably see you around tomorrow.”

Waving goodbye, with Marble and Limestone thanking me once again, the three sisters trotted off toward Ponyville. Well, the former two trotted; Pinkie bounced along in her usual way. Despite the cold, I felt warm inside at having been able to reunite the three for Hearth’s Warming. They would have a blast in the morning, I just knew it. As for me, tiredness began to overcome me once again, so I shut the door, finally got myself that glass of water, set it down in my bedroom, and went to the bathroom to prep for bed. Once that was taken care of, I finally gulped down my glass. 

“Mm...tastes funny. Maybe it just went tepid.”

Even as I said this, my entire self began to feel even heavier. I barely made it onto the bed and fell asleep, looking forward to tomorrow.


***


“I just can’t say no to her face...Celestia bless that little filly.”

The Doctor had never felt so pressured. When he had come home a few days ago to check on his youngest daughters, Dinky, without preamble, had proposed a question to him: did he think Dave was really happy? Of course, he wasn’t supposed to know the inner mental workings of another pony, even if that pony was a human, but he figured that Dave must terribly miss his home. Homesickness was a feeling he was quite familiar with. Dinky had then urged him to take Dave back home to at least see his family again for the holidays. 

There were rules against this kind of thing. The Doctor could recite each one of them alphabetically, chronologically from when they were written, and backwards in several languages. He glanced at the filly who still thought he could do everything. Then he smiled. What were a few more broken rules? This, then, would be the Hooves’ gift to their dear neighbor.


***


The TARDIS was sitting at the ready for him in the Hooves’ family garage. He could time-jump to Dave’s, but what was the point of that, when he lived just across the way? Still, it had been a while since he had actually had to fly it manually like an aircraft. Well, how bad could it be?

He started it up, and it rose off of the garage floor and out the opened door. It was only when he was out into the open air did he realize how rusty he had become. The TARDIS swerved dangerously, even as he tried to keep its course steady. He felt something thud against it, and heard the sound of splintering wood. Hoping he hadn’t just run over something expensive, he set the TARDIS to hover beside Dave’s house and looked outside. He grimaced as he saw that he had knocked the family mailbox over.

He headed back over to his console and, despite apparently no one being there to listen to him, started admonishing.

“Now look what you’ve done. Derpy won’t be happy about that...Don’t you start. There are pegasi around here, and we can’t have you banging into another one of them! How many times do you expect me to get married anyhow?”

He settled the TARDIS slowly down onto the snow. Not the smoothest of flights, but he’d dealt with worse. As he pulled the doors inward, he saw that Dave’s window had been left open for him. How convenient! Quietly, he clambered inside, and once on all fours again, he peered out into the dark room. He had never been inside this house before. From what he could see in the moonlight coming through the window, it was reasonably comfortable, if a little sparse in furnishings. It was, however, a two-story house. The poor guy must feel lonely in such a large place by himself, even with his neighbors near at hoof. Quietly, he advanced to the bedroom, where his quarry was snoring loudly.

Dave was ‘spread out’ across his bed, arms hanging across its width, lying full back, mouth agape and producing those cavernous snores. The Doctor approached slowly to his bedside. He had to remain asleep for this to work.

“All right, Dave,” he whispered. “Time to go.”

Gripping Dave’s arm, he gave a tug, and the human toppled over and crashed to the floor, on his face.

“Oh dear. Lucky he’s asleep.”

“Five more minutes, Pinkie…” Dave mumbled, drowsily.

“Ohh, how sweet,” said the Doctor. “He’s dreaming about his friend. Well, come on, then.”

He gripped Dave under the arms and, with no small amount of difficulty, began dragging him slowly out of the room, back toward the front door. He took great pains to make sure he didn’t bang his head on anything as he went; he feared any sudden jolt might wake him up. He needn’t not have feared, however, for the human still snored noisily and uninterrupted. 

“Goodness, you’re heavier than you look. I just hope you won’t be feeling this when you wake up.”

At last, with the  Doctor having to open the front door himself, they reached the TARDIS standing at the ready outside. He had to drag Dave through the snow inside, shutting the door behind him.

If he had been awake, Dave would have found the transcendental enormity of the interior staggering. Instead, he drooled on the floor.

“Now, let’s get you comfortable,” said the Doctor, gesturing to a nearby armchair. “Leave all the, er, particulars to me.”

He dragged the unconscious human toward it and, with another effort, settled him in it. He looked quite at peace, as if he hadn’t just been abducted.

“Poor boy,” the Doctor muttered, as he made his way to the control room. “He must have had a very busy day. He’s so tired he can’t sense a thing. He’s acting just like Berry Punch on a Friday evening, only much less verbal. Well, I can only hope he behaves during the trip.”

Striding to the podium containing the TARDIS’ controls, he began setting the coordinates to his first stop.

“It’s on the way, so I might as well make sure that’s done too. Right then, that should do it.” He threw the lever with a shout of “Allons-y!”

And with its characteristic noise, the TARDIS vanished, leaving no sign that it had been there at all.


***


“All right, he should stay put where he is, so there’s no danger of him getting out. It wouldn’t do for him to be seen at this point in time, either.”

Ensuring that Dave was still lethargically stationary in his seat, the Doctor strode to the door of the TARDIS and stepped out. It had situated itself outside a small, humble-looking hotel. It was nighttime, the stars bright overhead

“This is where he stayed when he was checking on Dave. I’d never have guessed, someone of his rank. Well, no matter. It’s now or never.”

He stepped into the lobby and, after a few inquiries, was directed to one of the more luxurious suites on the top floor. He rapped on the door, and a moment later, the door opened to reveal a weary and rather irritable-looking Minister Ironmane.

“Can I help you?” he asked, stiffly.

“Yes, you can,” said the Doctor. “You are Ironmane, the Equestrian Minister of Foreign Affairs?”

“I am,” said Ironmane, raising an eyebrow. “And who exactly are you?”

The Doctor pulled out a wallet holding a shabby-looking piece of white paper and held it out.

“I am a member of the Equestrian Foal Welfare Bureau, Investigation Division 6,” he said, while donning a pair of sunglasses, “and I wished to have a word with you about certain events that transpired earlier today. May I come in?”

He stepped briskly inside without waiting for Ironmane to say ‘yes’ or ‘no’. This breach of common civility appeared to ruffle the aged unicorn significantly.

“Now see here!” he snapped. “This is unlawful entering, sir! I am a distinguished member of Her Majesty’s court! I could have you arrested!”

“Which is why you are the only pony I can turn to at this critical juncture,” said the Doctor, seriously.

“Critical juncture?” asked Ironmane. “What is this nonsense?”

“A young filly was rescued from the Everfree Forest not too long ago,” said the Doctor. “A filly by the name of Scootaloo.”

“And what has this to do with me?” asked Ironmane, sharply. “I don’t know this child.”

“She was rescued,” the Doctor pressed on, “by the human who calls himself ‘Dave’.”

Ironmane’s indignation melted away at once, but he was still frowning suspiciously.

“The human? He went into the Everfree Forest to save a filly?”

“Very bold and reckless, I admit,” said the Doctor. “However, I have recently come into cognizance of Scootaloo’s history, and it is not at all enviable.”

Ironmane still looked unimpressed.

“My time is very valuable, sir,” he said, curtly, “but I can sense that trying to oust you from my presence will prove fruitless, so I might as well let you proceed with your tale.”

“Very gracious of you, Minister,” said the Doctor, bowing courteously. “This poor child has had a very rough past. No mother, poor father, all the drama you’d see on a soap opera. You know how it goes. She’s been on her own ever since her father died, and to all appearances leads a normal life.”

In spite of himself, Ironmane couldn’t help feeling faintly troubled. He had no children of his own, and the only foal he had ever been in regular contact with was Twilight Sparkle, when she was studying in Canterlot. Still, the thought that a filly like this ‘Scootaloo’ had suffered so much, yet had managed to live an almost-normal life in Ponyville, was not easily digestible.

“Well, that’s...quite a difficult foalhood for such a child,” he said, finally. “But what use is this information to me?”

“I’m afraid this matter is out of my hooves, red tape and all that,” said the Doctor, “but when I was told you were in the Ponyville area, I knew you might be able to do something. It’s important to bring this to the attention of the right ponies.”

Ironmane said nothing, so the Doctor went on.

“Meeting you here, I know that I’ve gotten the perfect stallion for the job. Celestia chose the right guy.” 

Ironmane’s mouth twitched, his gaze hard. He seemed to be weighing his options.

“...I shall consider what you have told me,” he said, finally. “And I shall speak to the human about this. It’s time I had a second talk with him, anyway.”

The Doctor’s face broke into a smile.

“Atta man! Oh, and don’t worry when you get the muffins in the mail. They’ll still be well within the expiration date. Ta-ta!”

He inclined his head, then stepped briskly out of the room. He turned back to see Ironmane still looking both bewildered and indignant, but the door was quickly shut behind him, and he made his way back downstairs, out of the hotel, and back into the TARDIS. To his relief, Dave was still slumped in the armchair, mumbling sleepily.

“How do you keep packing away the sweets, Pinkie? It’s incredible…”

“I see you’ve been a good boy and waited for me,” said the Doctor, pleasantly. “In that case, you deserve a little treat.”


***


“Dear Velvet,
How have you been, old friend? I was so delighted to hear about little Twilight Sparkle getting into Princess Celestia’s school. I only wish I’d gotten in touch with you sooner. I’ve seen the picture of her that you sent me, and she really does take after you. Things are fine here, out of the way of prying eyes. I couldn’t possibly stand living in the buzz and activity of Canterlot. I need my peace and quiet. Anyways, there was something I wanted to ask you, Velvet. As an author, your opinion on this would be invaluable. Do you think-”

But Daring paused, the pencil held still in her teeth. Someone was knocking at the door. Her brow furrowed. She had chosen a home deep in the woods of northwestern Equestria to get away from the noise and hubbub of civilization, and to avoid being pestered at her door, exactly like she was at this very moment. Sighing to herself, she put the pencil down and stepped to the door.

“Who is it?” she asked, somewhat gruffly, so as to intimate that her repose had been unceremoniously disturbed.

“A yearning visitor, Miss Do,” came the voice of the Doctor. “I shan’t take too much of your time, but I wished to see you, as I was passing by.”

Daring pursed her lips. It was exactly for this reason that she was considering asking her friend to take the reins on writing about her life.

“Well, all right,” she said, resignedly, “but please be brief. I’m in the middle of something important.”

“Of course, Miss Do. I quite understand.”

She opened the door to find the Doctor standing there, grinning genially. Daring did her best to smile back, though she was far from cheery from this interruption.

“I suppose you must be here for an autograph?” she asked, not altogether uncivilly.

“That would be most appreciable. Thank you.”

Daring allowed him inside, and while she shuffled around for a photo to sign, he began to chat, regardless of whether or not he expected her to answer. She barely even registered what he was saying: stuff about ransacked drawers, smashed mirrors, and even a kitchen sink thrown into the living room. It was clear he was just another nutty fan, but she’d faced much worse. Some of them were students in her academy classes.

At last, the autograph was signed, in her usual bold style, and she handed it to the Doctor, who stopped his gabbing at once.

“Ah! Thank you very much, Miss Do. You know, your reputation precedes you immensely.”

“Really?” asked Daring, sardonically. “I’d never have guessed.”

“Now, if it were me,” said the Doctor, in a casual tone, “I’d get into the writing trade. After all, who in their right mind would want to disturb an author? Just ask Nagatha Chorsetie.”

Daring blinked.

“Well, Miss Do, I shan’t take up anymore of your time. Thanks for the autograph.”

He took his leave out the door, and Daring shut it behind him, still quite bemused, mulling over what he had said. An almost wistful look came into her magenta eyes. At last, her expression becoming set with determination, she nodded to herself and returned to her letter. Taking up her pencil, she filled in the rest of the unfinished query.

“-you could edit my books? I’m thinking of writing under a pen name. A.K. Yearling sounds good. Let me know what you think, Velvet. My hooves are itching to start typing.
Your friend,
Daring Do”


***


“Well,” said the Doctor, sounding satisfied, “now that that’s taken care of, we can get on with our prime objective. Hold onto your new autograph, Dave, we’re in for a bumpy ride!”

Perhaps in light of Dave’s docile behavior in his sleeping state, the Doctor had pretty much flopped him over half of the control panel while he worked the rest of the controls. The autograph Daring had written was tucked gently away in the TARDIS’ control chamber.

“Now, let me see...this will be a delicate procedure, as we need to pinpoint the exact moment when you were dragged out of your home…”

All of a sudden, Dave slumped to the floor, his chin scraping against the dangly instruments on the console. The room gave an ungainly wobble, nearly knocking the equine Time Lord off of his hooves. Dave flopped along the floor like a fish, still snoring.

“You shouldn’t have done that, Dave,” the Doctor reprimanded. “These are extremely delicate timey-wimey instruments. The slightest miscalculation could send us centuries or miles off of our destination! Now, wait there while I assess what you just did.”

The Doctor scrutinized the console, making sure no damage had actually been done to the control panel. Luckily, the human’s slump hadn’t broken anything, and in any case, it would have taken much more force to cause serious damage to the TARDIS’s controls. He sighed to himself. 

“And here I thought it would be something worse.” 

No sooner had these words escaped his lips than the TARDIS canted sharply to its side. He gripped the console tightly with his teeth to keep from losing his balance. What he didn’t notice during this was the limp form of Dave hanging over one of the tree-like adornments in the room. All of a sudden, with a lurch, he slid off, and fell through the open doorway. The Doctor let out a strangled cry.

“Oh no!” he croaked, his teeth still tightly gripping the console. “Dave! Come on, you! Work with me!”

He tugged furiously at one of the levers, and, slowly but surely, the TARDIS levelled out. He slid to the floor, rubbing his aching jaw.

“Oh, this is bad. This is very bad,” he groaned. “I’ve got to find him, and make sure he’s not hurt, or worse, discovered!”

He rushed out of the TARDIS, and found himself standing in the midst of a dark, dense clump of trees. He grabbed a leaf, chewed it for a second or two in his mouth, then spit it back out. 

“The Everfree Forest,” he said. “I’d know that flavor from anywhere.”

There was no sign of Dave from where he stood.

“Just perfect,” he muttered. “It’s Hearth’s Warming, Dave’s lost, I’m in the Everfree, and I’ve got nobody to listen to me be clever.”

Nevertheless, Dave’s safety was his responsibility at the moment, and he’d faced much worse difficulties in his journeys. His resolve stiffened, he trotted off into the forest, keeping his keen eyes peeled for any sign of the slumbering human. His worst fear, at the moment, was that he might have come into contact with a timberwolf. Well, he’d be ready to run, should it have to come to that.

“Dave!” he called. “Can you hear me? Dave!”

His voice echoed through the trees, losing itself among the foliage within seconds. At first, no answer came. Then, quite suddenly, his hoof struck against something soft. Looking down, he let out a cry of relief. Dave was stretched out on the ground, groaning softly, but still out cold. 

“Oh, thank Gallifrey! You almost gave me a hearts attack! Come along, now. There’s loads to do, and not much time to do it in. Yes, I know I have a time machine!”

Gripping the human’s forearms, he began dragging him back toward the TARDIS. If he hadn’t been so preoccupied by this, he would have noticed a few disquieting details: Dave was wearing clothes different to his pajamas, a green notebook was clutched in one of his hands, and a piece of paper, torn at the edges, had caught on the side of the TARDIS.


***


The Doctor had set the semi-conscious Dave in front of him, put into a propped-up sitting position. With that done, he pulled out a pair of 3-D glasses and set them on his snout. His eyes roved around the TARDIS, checking for any sign of ‘void’-ness
.
“Mm...all seems clear...Wait a minute, what’s this?”

His eyes rested on a folded piece of paper, jutting out of Dave’s shirt pocket. Curious, he went over, picked it out, and read,

“To The Doctor of the past,
Hello, past me! Just letting myself know that I can’t send Dave back with the TARDIS. It’d end up a big problem. Time ends up asynchronous. Don’t want the poor kid wandering around in some far-off century, now do we? The best thing to do is to bring him back to Ponyville. After all, can I imagine how disappointed he would be to miss out on opening all of his Hearth’s Warming gifts? And need I remind me how devastated dear Derpy would be for him to miss out on her special holiday muffins? Not only that, but I think he’s grown rather attached to Ponyville, and if I took him away now, he probably wouldn’t like it. Dinky meant well, but it just can’t be done. See to it that he arrives home safely.
Yours sincerely,
The Doctor of the future.
PS: Be sure to drug Dave’s glass of water before he goes to bed. It’ll make the operation much easier.
PPS: Boot the Dave you have with me out of the TARDIS when we get into the air. The future Dave is just outside. Turn left, and you can’t miss him.”

The Doctor, who had become more and more serious as his eyes roved down this note from himself to himself, gave a start at this post-postscript. Rushing to the door, he looked out, and gave a cry of relief as he saw an arm lolling out of a bush just ahead of the open door. Rushing out the door, he gripped the arm and tugged, pulling out another Dave! Looking at this one, he wondered how he could have made such an error. This one was wearing the pajamas he had found him in, while the one standing in the TARDIS was wearing day clothes.

“Well, come on! As I said to you earlier (though a lot more than you can guess), loads to do, little time!”

He hurriedly dragged the Dave of the future into the TARDIS, but didn’t shut the door this time. Setting this Dave comfortably in the armchair, he turned to face the past Dave, who, all of a sudden, tilted over and fell with a thud onto the floor. Dragging future Dave inside must have messed with his balance. Past Dave snorted and stirred, his eyes opening blearily. They slowly turned towards the direction where future Dave was sitting

Acting on a mad impulse, the Doctor grabbed a book sitting on a nearby table, raised it high, and gave past Dave a sharp whack upside the head with it. The human crumpled, his eyes falling shut again.

“Alright, it’s a bit of a rush job,” the Doctor panted, throwing the book aside, “but you shouldn’t forget anything too important. It might make you susceptible to accepting new suggestions, however.”

Moving closer so that he was standing over the now unconscious past Dave, he took his head in his hooves, closed his eyes, and leaned his head forward so that their foreheads just barely touched. After a few moments frozen in this attitude, the Doctor pulled away.

“Now, that’s done. Let’s get you back to where this all began.”

Leaving past Dave on the floor, though moving him closer to the door, he went to the control room. Activating the ignition, he allowed the TARDIS to rise high up above the forest, up over Ponyville, into a patch of clouds. Making sure everything was in place, he moved to the open door, right beside past Dave.

“Well, then, past Dave, welcome to Ponyville! Cheers!”

He gave the human a hard push, and he went tumbling through the door and through the clouds, straight toward the ground. The Doctor sighed with relief as he saw him disappear.

“And now,” he said, turning to the Dave of the present, who was still snoozing peacefully. “let’s take care of this water business and get you back home to Ponyville.”

Something in the Doctor’s words seemed to stir Dave, and he smiled gently in his sleep, muttering something that sounded like ‘Pinkie’. With a smile in his ancient eyes, the Doctor closed the door and went back to the control room. 


***


“Just one more quick stop, and I can call it a night.”

The Doctor was chancing a lot by this, but it had to be done. Thankfully, the window was still open, and no one was around. He clambered in, crept to Dave’s room, and cocked his ear. He could hear nothing from the bedroom, but could hear sounds coming from the bathroom. Now was his moment.

As quickly and silently as he could, he slipped inside and spotted his glass of water sitting on the nightstand. Pulling his flask from his pocket, he allowed a few drops to splash in.

“Perfect,” he said. “He’ll sleep like the dead all night. At least, I should hope so.”

He stiffened at the sound of a toilet flushing.

“I’d better get moving!”

He crept out of the room, back to the window, and made it outside just in time. Everything was in place now. What he hadn’t noticed during all of this, however, was that during the jump from the past to the present, the piece of paper that had stuck itself to the side of the TARDIS had vanished.


***


Like a fog lifting with the rise of the sun, the TARDIS came into sight outside Dave’s house once again. Judging by his calculations, he had already left with Dave seconds before arriving back at this very moment. The Doctor managed to heave Dave outside, back through the door, and into his bedroom. He lay him down and pulled the covers over him.

“Well, Dave, I tried,” he said, “but it’s just not going to happen this way. I’m sure you’ll love our Part 2, though. They’re Derpy’s speciality, after all.” He chuckled lightly, then said, kindly, “Sleep well, Dave. Happy Hearth’s Warming.”

And without another word, he stepped out of the bedroom and back into the living room. Stopping at the pile of gifts, he put Daring Do’s autograph atop the nearest parcel. With that done, he crept out of the house, back into the TARDIS, and piloted it back toward home, leaving Dave alone in his peaceful, untroubled dreams, completely oblivious to all that had transpired that evening. 

He had just stowed the TARDIS in the garage before he became aware of somepony inside with him. Looking round, he came face to face with Derpy, a disapproving frown on her face. He smiled weakly.

“Sorry about the mailbox,” he said. “It won’t happen again.”

“Let’s hope not,” she said, grumpily. “but you’re taking the blame this time. Do you have any idea what time it is? You could have woken the kids up!”

The Doctor said nothing. He merely gazed contritely at her, until she finally sighed and said, in a mollified tone,

“Well, what’s done’s done. We’ll fix it tomorrow. For now, we left the leftovers from dinner out for you.”

“Thank you, Derpy,” said the Doctor, gratefully.

He looked up and gave her a childishly wide smile, which she returned with a smile of her own, though she added,

“You’re still not off the hook for this.”

While she went back upstairs, he went into the dining room, where the leftovers of that night’s meal had been set aside for him, covered up, as Derpy had said. Famished, he fell to at once, the journey having tired him out immensely.

At last, full and content, he headed silently upstairs, making for Scootaloo and Dinky’s room. Pushing the door open quietly, he stepped in. The two foals were already sound asleep, snoozing gently. Treading softly, he made his way to Dinky’s bed and gave her a nudge. The little unicorn stirred, turned over, and opened her eyes drowsily, staring into his face. She smiled sleepily.

“Hi,” she whispered. “Is it morning already? Can we open presents?”

“Not yet, Dinky,” said the Doctor. “I just thought I ought to tell you. Mommy and I had a talk, and we both decided it would be better for Dave to stay in Ponyville.”

“Oh,” said Dinky, quietly.

“But it was very sweet of you to think of him, Dinky. He’s lucky to have such a friend as you.”

Dinky smiled, then yawned.

“Good night, dear,” said the Doctor, leaning forward and kissing her forehead.

“Good night, Daddy,” murmured Dinky, and her eyes closed once more.

With a small sigh, the Doctor left the bedroom, his bones aching with tiredness from everything that had happened that night, but he wasn’t finished yet. Lighting a candle, he went to the writing desk and, with pencil in teeth, began writing out the message for his past self. It wasn’t easy being a Time Lord, but it always had its moments.


> Hearth's Warming Day
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I awoke with a start. I’d dreamed I’d found a way to bring my friends and loved ones into Equestria, and had been introducing them to my Ponyville friends - I’d have been the happiest man alive if I could make that happen - and was now wide awake. I automatically put my hand up to brush the hair from my eyes, only to have them come back full of leaves.

“How did I get leaves in my hair?” I mused to myself. “Must’ve picked them up from last night.”

The seconds ticked by, and then…

Jumping out of bed, I dashed to the living room where my pile of gifts, courtesy of Pinkie Spy, was sitting. I was about to grab and tear open the nearest one, when I stopped myself. Just because I was alone didn’t mean I should forget my priorities. I knelt down in front of the pile, clasped my hands, and prayed, thanking God for allowing me to take part in what was sure to be a wonderful holiday, and to watch over my family and friends back home for Christmas.

“Amen,” I concluded. 

Now, first item of business: whatever it was that Lyra and Bon Bon had sent me. It had been taunting me ever since it arrived. I zipped over to the huge wrapped shape sitting against the wall, grabbed the paper wrapping it, and tore it away. My mouth fell open.

“No way…”

Yes way. There, standing proud and new, was an honest-to-goodness upright mahogany piano! There was even a stool sitting in front of it, and a book of music sheets sitting in pride of place, with a card sitting in front of them. Picking this up, I read, while hearing the pair’s voices in my head,

“Dear Dave,
Happy Hearth’s Warming! Here’s something to give you some extra practice before your next Sunday session.
Love,
Lyra and Bon Bon”

“Way to go above and beyond, gals,” I said, grinning from ear to ear.

My own piano. My very own piano! This was amazing! As eager as I was to try it out, however, I had to hold off until I’d gotten to everything else. So, not without reluctance, I turned away from the glorious instrument and returned to my pile of gifts. As my hand strayed toward the nearest one, I was interrupted anew by the sight of something paper-like sitting atop it. I picked it up to examine it, but nearly dropped it when I did, not out of butterfingers, but of shocked surprise. 

It was an autographed mugshot photo, not of Trixie, but of Daring Do! The black-and-white image of the pegasus explorer grinned confidently up at me, her name written in bold lettering below her smile. I flipped it over, but there was nothing on the back. No card, no notice, nothing. Who had sent me this? I was thrilled, but also incredibly baffled, just like when Harry got his Invisibility Cloak.

Well, I supposed one shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth, and set it gently on the table, before finally returning to the rest of my gifts. I dragged Pinkie’s forward, as it seemed my best friend should have the honor of having the first gift unwrapped (after that piano, that is), and opened the card that came with it. Pinkie’s chipper voice rang through my head.

“Happy Hearth’s Warming, Davie!
I know how much you like music, so I thought this would make a fantabulous addition to your house! It might even give you some inspiration for piano practice!
Love,
Pinkie Pie”

Intrigued, I ripped the paper off to reveal...a phonograph. Now, like I said, I enjoyed antiquity as much as modernity, so this was quite a welcome sight for me.

“Thanks, Pinkie,” I muttered, gratefully, as I gingerly set it aside.

Stacked behind where it had stood were three similarly-shaped gifts, from Rainbow Dash, Vinyl Scratch, and Octavia. Judging from their size, shapes, and their placement, I had the feeling I knew what these were. Picking up Rainbow Dash’s, I read her card, hearing her voice in my head.

“Happy Hearth’s Warming, Dave!
This here’s just a little reminder of your first big performance. Hope it helps with your practicing!
Stay awesome,
Rainbow Dash”

The gift turned out to be, as I had anticipated, a record. It was titled ‘Dave’s Enchanted Melody’. I was perplexed by such a title, as well as by the fact that Rainbow had gotten me a record, which would have been pointless unless she knew whether or not I had something to play it on.

Unless…

Wait a minute.

I placed the record onto the phonograph’s turntable and started it up. Through the horn came a very familiar tune: the exact same melody I had played on the piano when Rainbow had given me that potion-spiked water! If she had a record of it, and Pinkie had gifted me a phonograph, did that mean the two had been in on the whole thing together? I had no idea Pinkie was even involved!

“Man,” I muttered to myself, “Rainbow wasn’t kidding when she said she and Pinkie were Best Pranking Pals. They got me good.”

I turned to the other two identically-shaped gifts, having no doubt what they were now that I had opened Rainbow’s. Sure enough, they were both records, Vinyl’s of some of her club jams, and Octavia’s of classical music.

“Happy Hearth’s Warming, D-dude!
This is for those days when you’re itching to hear some wubs but can’t make it to the club!
Rock on!
Vinyl ‘DJ PON3’ Scratch”

“Dear Dave,
I hope you are fairing well this holiday season. It is absolute bedlam here in Canterlot, ponies rushing hither and thither to make their last purchases. My ensemble and I are still preparing for our concert on New Year’s. I am not a braggart by nature, but I have the feeling it is going to be a spectacular night. On that note, if you’ll pardon the pun, I thought you might enjoy this record of some of the classical pieces my ensemble’s performed in the past. If you would like me to sign it, I’ll happily do so the next time I visit Vinyl.
A very Happy Hearth’s Warming to you!
Yours sincerely,
Octavia Melody”

I decided to put Octavia’s record into the phonograph, as something of a backdrop while I continued unwrapping my gifts. While it played, I next turned to the package Big Mac had given me, from the Apple family. It turned out to be an entire set of ceramic cookware, all colored red and green, with the pots and pans all bearing the same apple motif. Now I could have a lot more variety with what and how I cooked, on those days when I wasn’t too lazy to do anything but grab a bite from Sugarcube Corner. Judging from the individual signatures, Granny Smith had written the card’s message.

“Dear Davey-boy,
We saw this in the marketplace and thought it would add the perfect touch to your kitchen. Here’s hoping it adds a little spice to your mealtimes.
Happy Hearth’s Warming!
From Applejack, Big Macintosh, Apple Bloom, and Granny Smith”

Fluttershy’s gift was a cookbook entitled Exquisite Equine Edibles, by Chef Bon Appetit. The cover depicted a buff-chested chestnut stallion with a long, thin mustache, beaming as he held up a pot full of simmering vegetable stew. How fitting to get this along with some new cookware.

“Dear Dave,
Bon Appetit is a marvel among cooks, and his recipes have really helped me add a touch of variety in the kitchen. I’m not sure if you really like to cook or not, but I thought it would be a nice read anyway.
Have a Happy Hearth’s Warming!
From Fluttershy”

Rarity’s gift was, as I expected, a new suit of clothes, namely a dressy white button-down shirt and tan khakis, topped by an honest-to-goodness fedora. Now, I loved top hats, but I also loved fedoras, so this was a most welcome surprise.

“My dear Dave,
There’s nothing wrong with alternating casual for snappy, so I thought this ensemble might liven up your wardrobe.
Happy Hearth’s Warming, darling!
From Rarity”

Below these was a blue polo shirt with something stitched across the chest. Looking closer, I saw that it was a Crusader patch, rather crudely put on. The note attached told me all I needed to know.

“Dave,
I snuck this in when Rarity wasn’t looking. I’ve learned a few sewing tricks from her, so I hope you like it!
Happy Hearth’s Warming!
-Sweetie Belle”

I couldn’t help suppressing a chuckle at this. She really was a thoughtful filly.

Twilight’s gift was, shock of all shocks, a book, but the cover threw me for quite a loop at first. It was titled How to Care for Your Multi-Digited Extremities: A Reference Guide, and had a picture of a hand on the cover. I couldn’t help laughing.

“Dear Dave,
I don’t know how fastidious about hand or foot care humans are, but I thought this might make for a good read for you. I even asked Lyra for her opinion, and she agreed that it was a fascinating read. Even ponies need to keep proper hoof care.
Happy Hearth’s Warming!
From Twilight, Spike, and Owlowiscious”

I wasn’t really much for hand or foot care, but if I could will myself to go to the spa, I suppose this wasn’t too far-fetched. Still, it was a bizarre book to imagine ponies writing.

From the Hooves family came a basket of fresh, assorted muffins: blueberry, chocolate chip, corn, and banana nut. The combined smells were intoxicatingly delicious, and I resolved to have one for breakfast.

“Happy Hearth’s Warming, Dave!
Just a little something from the Hooves kitchen to spruce up breakfast or snack time. It’s never the wrong time for a muffin!
From your neighbors, the Hooves”

A bulky one from all of my friends at the bowling alley turned out to be another very welcome surprise: my own bowling ball and bag, but the ball had finger holes! My fingers fit just right, too!

“Dear Dave,
All of us chipped in to get you your very own bowling ball. The finger holes were the Doctor’s idea.
Happy Hearth’s Warming!
From Big Macintosh, Cheerilee, Magnum, Pearl, Caramel, Meadow Song, the Doctor, Lyra, Bon Bon, and”

The last name was incomprehensible, but I could hazard a guess that it was Screwball’s.

From Berry Punch came what looked like a bottle of wine. However, upon checking the label, I was relieved to see that it was only grape juice. Berry had been thoughtful when choosing her gift for me.

“Happy Hearth’s Warming, Dave!
I haven’t forgotten what happened during cider season, so I figured some of my specialty grape juice might sit better.
Berry Punch”

Zecora had sent me a set of wind chimes made from some dark, glossy wood. Looking at her card, it was amazing to me that she even wrote in rhyme.

“To Dave, on this magic time of year
In hope that its tones will bring you good cheer
Happy Hearth’s Warming from me,
Zecora of the Everfree”

Screwball’s, the second-to-last, looked like an ordinary desk lamp. However, when I pulled the chain to turn it on, I heard a sound like someone blowing a quick raspberry, and the bulb inside glowed green. I clicked it off, making another raspberry noise. Clicking it back on, the light turned blue. I kept at it, making the light turn red, then purple, then plaid, then argyle, then checkerboard, until I finally stopped, mixed between laughter and bewilderment. Screwball’s card was written backwards again, but deciphered, it read,

“Happy Hearth’s Warming, Dave!
This thing’s always given me a good laugh, and I have an extra, so I thought you’d like this one.
From Screwball”

Last of all (not intentionally) was Moonlight’s. Inside hers was a real surprise: a Daring Do plush, the size of an average teddy bear. It was made of soft felt, and the pith helmet was even removable. It was several moments before I remembered the card.

“Happy Hearth’s Warming, Dave!
I found this while shopping in Canterlot. Can you believe this was one of the last ones in stock? They must be really popular, so I thought you’d like it.
Love,
Moonlight”

A Daring Do item, one of the last in stock in Canterlot, and she had managed to snag it...for me. I certainly knew that was no easy feat.

“Thank you, everypony,” I said, quietly. “I just hope my gifts to you make you as happy as these have made me.”

I then began busying myself with putting everything away in their new places in the house. I had just hung up the clothes from Rarity and Sweetie Belle, and was planning to grab breakfast, when there came a knock at the door. Wondering who it could be, I put on my jacket and opened up to find Minister Ironmane standing at the doorstep, a canvas bag sitting beside him.

“Good morning, David. Happy Hearth’s Warming.”

“M-Minister Ironmane!” I said, spluttering involuntarily. “Happy Hearth’s Warming to you too! What brings you here?”

“It’s Sunday, is it not? Am I interrupting other business you are conducting?”

“Well, no, sir, but I wasn’t sure if you’d come here today, since it’s a holiday.”

“I am off duty for today, David, and decided to bring my wife with me. She is at the marketplace at the moment, and we shall meet up again after my business here.”

“Oh, ok.”

For a second, I didn’t completely register what he said, then the word ‘wife’ hit me like a boxing glove to the cranium.

“Wait, wife?!” I asked, incredulously, but I backpedaled at his raised eyebrow. “Er, I meant, *ahem*, well, forgive me, sir, but I had no idea you were married.”

“You are forgiven,” said Ironmane, crisply. “However, you can understand my desire to keep this visit brief.” He cleared his throat. “Let us not stray off topic, David. First of all, your dues.”

He levitated the usual bag of bits to me, but it felt heavier this time.

“I added a special holiday bonus this time around,” he explained.

“Well, gosh, thank you, sir,” I said, gratefully.

“And it is next I who must thank you,” said Ironmane.

Was it my imagination, or was he smiling?

“I don’t know how you found out, but your gift for me took me quite by surprise. I was hoping to attend Miss Octavia’s New Year’s concert.”

“Oh!” I said, innocently. I probably shouldn’t say that I had overheard him talking about it.  “Well, her music is quite the experience. I hope you have a great time.”

“Thank you, David. Speaking of gifts, I have something to deliver to you from the princesses.”

Before I could fully register the fact that he had included the princesses in that sentence, he drew a package from his bag, placing it in my hands.

“I would also like to inform you, David, that after New Year’s, you should expect a new written assignment. As a forewarning, it shall deal with the wild creatures of Equestria. Fear not,” he added, seeing me about to open my mouth, “you shall have the proper reading material for it, but do not be afraid to seek Twilight Sparkle if you need assistance.”

“Thank you, Minister,” I said, flummoxed by the gift and the information.

“Well, with that, David, I must depart. Enjoy the rest of your day.”

“You too, sir.”

Ironmane packed away the bag beneath his cape, turned sharply about on his hooves, and marched back toward Ponyville. I waited until he was out of sight, then went back inside, putting down the gift and taking my jacket off.

“Well, this is turning into a full morning,” I said, “and it’s not even 9.”

I then turned my attention to the parcel. What did the diarchs of this land, governesses of the sun and moon, over a thousand years old, and my primary employers, think to gift simple me? Well, only one way to find out. 

I don’t know what I was expecting, but this still came as a surprise. Beneath the wrapping paper was a very thick, heavy book, its bottle-green cover faded but still intact. A sepia-toned map stood out on the front, and the silver lettering told me this book was The Unabridged History of Equestria. The pages were littered with tabs, probably to distinguish each section from each other. I recognized the penmanship as Princess Celestia’s, from the letter I had gotten from her on my very first day in Equestria.

“David,
A very Happy Hearth’s Warming to you. In the spirit of the season, we thought you might like to have this book. It is a very special edition of The Unabridged History of Equestria, and we are confident you will find it an interesting read.
Yours Sincerely,
Princesses Celestia and Luna”

A special edition? What was different about it? Maybe it was a collector’s item. If Twilight had her own copy of the book, perhaps we could search for the difference together. In the meantime, I went to put it away, and ended up placing it beside my notebook, the one I’d come into Equestria carrying. I couldn’t suppress a frown as I glanced at it, but I couldn’t tell why. Feeling like I was constantly delaying myself, I went to clean myself up and grab breakfast.


***


I spent the rest of the morning testing out my new phonograph. Vinyl’s ‘compositions’ were wild, funky, and full of so much bass that I was worried my windows would rupture if I dared turn the volume up. How did that pony listen to this kind of music on a daily basis and not be deaf? Octavia’s pieces, on the other hand, were much more relaxed. I could distinctly pick out her cello in each of the compositions, and while I didn’t really recognize them as anything familiar, they were all wonderful to listen to. I even took time to flip through Twilight’s book, if not out of curious humor. There were chapters dedicated to nail care and proper skin cleansing, making it sound like the kind of thing better suited for a spa’s magazine rack. The thought that a pony had actually put together a book like this was absolutely mind-boggling, especially since there were also sections devoted to griffons and minotaurs, as they had talons and hands themselves, respectively.

Around 11, I decided to take a walk out into town. Maybe I’d run into a few of the ponies who had been on my list and thank them for their gifts. At first, Ponyville looked a little deserted. Perhaps ponies were still unwrapping gifts or spending time with their families. Nonetheless, I found several ponies milling around, chatting about this and that, though they stopped to wave to me and wish me a Happy Hearth’s Warming, which I reciprocated. By a pleasant coincidence, one of these happened to be Cheerilee. 

“Dave!” she called, trotting up to me. “Thank you very much for your gift!”

“And thank you for the bowling ball,” I said. “I really appreciate it.”

“You’re very welcome,” said Cheerilee. “Any big plans today?”

“Not really. Just going to see if anything’s going on.”

“I think there is, actually. The mayor has a stage set up and everything.”

“Oh, really? Sounds interesting.”

“I’ll let you get to it, then. Happy Hearth’s Warming, Dave!”

“You too, Cheerilee.”

The two of us parted, and sure enough, as I neared town square, I began to see signs of activity.

A big crowd of ponies was gathered in front of a stage set up in front of town hall. Mayor Mare was standing behind the podium, apparently waiting for everypony’s attention. I mixed in with the crowd, sticking out like a sore thumb in a sea of pastel coats and manes. There were several familiar faces, but I couldn’t see anypony who had been on my list. As I waited to hear what Mayor Mare had to say, I felt someone tap me on the arm. Turning about, I was at once engulfed in a tight embrace by none other than Moonlight, hovering so that she was face-level, her pale face aglow with joy.

“You are the absolute best friend a pony could ask for!” she said, squeezing tighter and nuzzling her cheek against mine. “Thank you so much for your gift! I don’t have a projector, but I know I can borrow one from Twilight. I saw it when I visited the library once. Again, thanks so much!”

“It was no problem, Moonlight,” I said, in a strained voice. “Your gift for me was really great too!”

(And here I thought Pinkie was the overly-huggy one.)

At that moment, Mayor Mare began to speak, and Moonlight released me so the two of us could listen.

“Happy Hearth’s Warming, everypony! I have called you all here to take part in a special, fun event for the occasion. This may seem rather unorthodox, but I have gotten requests for something like this in the past, so...welcome to the first annual Hearth’s Warming Snowball Fight Free-for-All!”

This was met with much cheering and enthusiastic chatter. Moonlight and I looked at each other eagerly. This actually sounded like a lot of fun!

“You are allowed to work individually or in teams of up to three,” the mayor continued. “You can only be hit once. If you’re hit, you’re out. The last pony or team standing shall be deemed the winner, and shall receive a fabulous prize! Once you have decided your teams, please come up to the stage to receive a bucket of snowballs to use as ammunition. You are allowed to restock from the snow around you, but be quick.”

At this, the ponies began to converge or separate, forming their own teams. Moonlight stuck right by my side, so it looked like the two of us would be working together. The teams went up to the stage, and each was given a large bucket full of perfectly-packed snowballs. As Moonlight and I received ours, I spied Pinkie, Marble, and Limestone off in the distance. They waved energetically, and I waved in return.

“Who are those two with Pinkie?” Moonlight asked.

“Her sisters, Marble and Limestone,” I explained.

“Those are her sisters?” Moonlight asked, disbelievingly. “I can hardly see a resemblance.”

“You haven’t seen Pinkie with her mane down. That’s where some of the resemblance lies.”

“Ohh,” said Moonlight, before she added, in another confused tone, “Wait, Pinkie actually styles her mane that way? I always thought she had permanent bed-head.”

“Is everypony ready?” called the mayor. “Form a ring around the square, and begin on my count.”

The teams formed a wide ring around the town square, separated from each other by about three feet. Now that the crowd wasn’t so intermingled, I could pick out ponies I recognized. Minuette and Golden Harvest had formed a team of three with a pony I recognized as being named Cherry Berry, as had the three flower mares Daisy, Lily, and Rose. Caramel was paired up with a blue-coated blond pegasus, who I guessed was this Sassaflash he had talked about at our first bowling night. He said he was planning to pop the question, but I’d heard nothing else about it afterwards, even if that didn’t necessarily mean it didn’t happen. Besides Pinkie, I didn’t see anyone else from the circle of seven, though they were probably with their families or spending the day inside.

“Get ready…” said the mayor. “Get set...GO!”

In the next second, everything was pandemonium. The air was thick with snowballs, and ponies were running this way and that, strafing and dodging to avoid getting hit. One by one, unlucky competitors were struck and forced to step aside to let the competition continue. Some of the sillier ones took it as if it were a bullet or arrow, and collapsed with much drama, as was the case with Caramel, who jumped in front of Sassaflash to keep her from getting hit. This allowed her to take out the assailant with her own snowball out of ‘revenge’. Pinkie and her sisters had formed a kind of three-way firing squad, keeping ponies from coming anywhere near them. The only thing that would have made this crazier was if Pinkie had been using her party cannon to fire the snowballs. The Pies had some crazy throwing hooves.

As for Moonlight, I had expected her to be somewhat reluctant, being in the midst of such a brouhaha. Nothing could have been further from the truth. Her face full of concentration, she tossed snowball after snowball, now from the ground, now from the air, but always managing to avoid the slushy projectiles. I myself couldn’t tell if I was hitting anyone, as I was doing what I could to keep from getting hit. As much as I disliked sports, I had been fairly decent at dodgeball when I was a kid, and it looked like those reflexes weren’t failing me now.

The crowd of disqualified ponies mounted, including Golden Harvest, Minuette, Cherry Berry, the flower mares, and Marble and Limestone. The two sisters had finally been stopped by an effective double-team effort, which was retaliated upon most viciously by Pinkie. I hadn’t really been keeping track of who else was left, as at the moment, I was locked in a feinting bout with a stallion I recognized as being named Noteworthy. The two of us were constantly trying to fake each other out, snowballs held at the ready.

“Dave!” Moonlight shouted. “Duck!”

I whipped around just in time to see Pinkie, reared up on her hind legs, lob a snowball right at Moonlight, who ducked down, so that it came at me! Just in time, I managed to duck, and felt my hair rustle as the projectile whizzed overhead. With a *PIFF*, it struck Noteworthy instead, who fell back with a yelp. As if acting by an instinct, I rose back up and immediately hurled my own snowball right at Pinkie, as Moonlight chucked hers at the same time. Both balls hit her squarely in the chest, and she clasped her hoof to the spot, as if she had been shot by a gun.

“Augh!” she cried, in a dramatic display of grief. “You got me! Everything’s...going cold...going dark…” She wobbled on her hind legs, then collapsed onto her back, feebly reaching out to us with her other fore hoof. “Remember me...as I was...Goodbye…”

She flopped her head into the snow, tongue lolling and eyes closed. The disqualified ponies applauded her performance, even after she finally raised her head up again, grinning in that silly way of hers.

“And the Oscar for ‘Hammiest Death Scene’ goes to Pinkie Pie,” I muttered sardonically to Moonlight, who giggled.

“The winners!” called Mayor Mare from her podium. “Team Dave and Moonlight has come out victorious! Come on up here, you two!”

Moonlight and I approached the stage amidst polite applause from the crowd, and Mayor Mare held up what looked like an envelope.

“As this was a dual effort,” she said, “this envelope contains two tickets to tonight’s Hearth’s Warming pageant at the Ponyville Drama Theater, 6 o’clock tonight! Prime seats, as well! Right up in the gallery! Congratulations, and enjoy!”

She handed the envelope over to the pair of us, and the ponies who had taken part in the snowball fight began to get up and go back about their business. Pinkie bounded over to us, followed by Marble and Limestone, who of course walked in a more normal fashion.

“You two really got me!” said Pinkie. “Congrats on winning! I think you’ll really like the pageant. I was in the Canterlot one last year!”

“I heard about that from Twilight,” I said. “Did you enjoy being on stage?”

“Yep! It was a lot of fun, and I got to make everypony smile with my performance! I hear Ponyville’s local actors are really good, too. You and Moonlight should really enjoy it. Anyway, I’d love to stay and chat, but I’m still showing Marble and Limestone around. We’ll see you later, ok?”

“All right. Have fun, you three.”

“We will. And by the way, thanks a bunch for the candy!” Pinkie added, beaming.

“Thank you for the phonograph,” I said. “You’re right, I do love music. You know me all too well.”

“Hee-hee!” Pinkie giggled. “Well, see ya!”

Pinkie bounded away, Marble and Limestone tagging along behind her. Moonlight and I began walking back to our neck of the woods, talking and laughing about what had happened during the snowball fight. She had actually made some very impressive throws, like hitting Minuette right on the cutie mark from halfway across the square. This pony was much more than met the eye.

“Well, Moonlight,” I said, as we neared home, “if you’re up for it, we can go see this show at the drama theater tonight.”

“I’d like that,” said Moonlight, grinning. “It’s a date.”

It must have taken a few seconds before she realized what she had said, and it looked like it hit her like a sack of Legos.

“I-I don’t mean we’d be on a date!” she said, flustered. “I just meant-”

“Relax, Moonlight, relax,” I said, placatingly, while hoping that no one had heard that outburst and would get the wrong ideas. “I know what you meant.”

“Oh, good,” sighed Moonlight in relief. “So, when should I be ready?”

“Hmm…” I murmured, thoughtfully. “How does 5:30 sound?”

“Sounds good! I’ll see you then!”

We headed to our respective houses, but as I was heading for the door, I saw that there was something sitting on the doorstep. This was odd, as I didn’t think there would be a delivery on a Sunday, especially a holiday. Picking it up, I found it to be a package, addressed from my fellow council members from the Round Table! Hurriedly, I took it inside to open it. 

The package turned out to be a very handsome calligraphy pen, red and gold, with a new pot of ink, and official-looking stationary with a personalized letterhead: ‘From the Desk of Councilstallion Dave’. Now that was a nice touch. Each signature inside the card was done in the individual council members’ hand, er, hoofwriting.

“Happy Hearth’s Warming to Councilstallion Dave,
From Minister Ironmane, Princess Mi Amore “Cadence” Cadenza, Cornelius, Eagle Eye, Sure Shot, Apollo Ignatius Griffellow II, Rolling Stone, Rock Solid, and Brutus”

Tucked into the bottom of the letter was what looked like a post card. The landscape looked barren, rocky, and volcanic, and in full view were two red pits of lava. Scrawled on the back were the words,

“A prime relaxation spot. You might wanna check it out for some R&R some time.
-Brutus”

“Nice thought,” I said, “but I don’t think he realizes humans can’t survive in lava.” Almost as soon as I said that, I felt a shiver run through me. “Even so, I wouldn’t mind a bit of warmth right about now.”

Setting these carefully aside, I went to get some lunch started. Chucking snowballs around really gives one an appetite.


***


I had never realized Ponyville had a drama theater. Then again, what else would you call a building with the iconic comedy-tragedy masks hanging over the door? Though we were early, ponies were already filing in in droves. It seemed this show really was as popular as Pinkie had said.

Moonlight and I made our way up the stairs to our gallery seating. I’d never been in a theater gallery before, and I wasn’t sure how I would fancy it, since I was never good with heights. Truth be told, when we arrived, I did get a brief, unpleasant swooping feeling in my stomach as I looked down at all the seats below, as well as the sensation that I would lose my balance and plummet straight down, but once I was sitting down in my seat, the feeling began to subside. Moonlight settled herself beside me.

“I feel just like royalty,” she said, in a voice that was bordering on giddy.

“I know the feeling,” I said, grinning. “I never thought I’d be up in one of these myself, partly because I’m not very good with heights.”

“Oh, really? Well, I don’t mind using my wings, but I don’t really like flying too high. I like it better on the ground, with all of my friends.”

I smiled at her. At that moment, the orchestra began to pipe up, and both of our eyes flitted right to the stage. A colt, dressed like a castle page, complete with tunic and plumed cap, stepped through the curtain, a spotlight shining down on him.

“Once upon a time,” he said, loud enough to carry over the now silent theater, “long before the peaceful rule of Celestia, and before ponies discovered our beautiful land of Equestria, ponies did not know harmony. It was a strange and dark time. A time when ponies were torn apart...by hatred.”

The colt said this last word in a dramatic whisper, and I heard Moonlight gasp beside me. Ponies, divided by hatred? I would never have imagined that by looking at any of them. Eager to see where this went, I leaned forward in my seat, absorbed in the play as it went on for the next hour or so.

From what I could glean, the three tribes of ponies had lived in a constant state of mistrust and dislike. The Earth ponies grew food for both the unicorns and pegasi, in exchange for the former maintaining the sun and moon, and for the latter controlling the weather. Things only became worse when, one day, a mysterious blizzard overtook the land, devastating the livelihoods of all three tribes. The Earth ponies couldn’t grow their food, and the pegasi and unicorns could do nothing to abate the bad weather, and the threat of starvation loomed over them. A council was called for to decide on a course of action, attended by the three leaders of the tribes: the snooty Princess Platinum of the unicorns, the hot-tempered Commander Hurricane of the pegasi, and the eccentric Chancellor Puddinghead of the Earth ponies. As might be imagined, negotiations didn't go so well, and the three leaders decided to set out separately to find their own home, aided by their more reasonable assistants, Clover the Clever, Private Pansy, and Smart Cookie.

The chancellor, by far, had some of the best lines in the play.

“Can you think inside a chimney?”

“I’ve got a newsflash for you, Cookie: the Earth is round. There is no up or down!”

“I planted mine earlier than first!”

It was just like watching a comedy movie at home. My cheeks were sore from laughing, even though there was still plenty of drama and tension, especially when the cave the leaders and their assistants took refuge in began to freeze from the inside.

“Earth ponies are numbskulls!”

“Pegasi are brutes!”

“Unicorns are snobs!”

I felt a chill go down my spine at these spiteful words. I honestly hoped nopony in this day and age felt that way toward opposite pony clans, because none of those were true.

“No matter what our differences, we’re all ponies.”

I heard Moonlight sniffling at this, and I drew a comforting arm around her. It was a touching scene: Clover the Clever, Private Pansy, and Smart Cookie willing to perish side by side as friends. That was powerful.

By the end, when the six united and named the land Equestria, Moonlight and I jumped up from our seats to join in the standing ovation being given, continuing our unbroken applause as the actors and the narrator all took their bows. The orchestra began anew as bells started ringing, and everypony in the hall began to sing. The lyrics were on the back of the programs we had received going in, under the title ‘The Fire of Friendship’, so my and Moonlight’s voices joined in.

The ‘Fire of Friendship’ indeed. In this close-knit society, it did feel like a strong flame, ever-burning, never dimming. The strong bonds and ties of affection that these ponies held for each other really was something amazing, especially considering how it helped found this land in the first place. My hands were smarting from clapping, but I hardly even cared. Pinkie was right: this had been a spectacular performance.


***


“WOW!” Moonlight gushed, while we made our way back home. “I can’t believe how well the actors did!”

“I thought they did great, too,” I said. “I had no idea that was how Equestria was founded, but it makes sense that members of each tribe of pony would come together and unite under one cause. Still, I never knew it was even before Celestia’s time.”

“She must be really old,” said Moonlight.

“But she still looks really young,” I said. “I’ve only met her once, but I’ve heard she lived through over a thousand years.”

“Wow,” murmured Moonlight, awed.

We reached her house, and she turned to me, smiling.

“Yesterday was wonderful, but today was really special, too. Do you want to know why?”

“Why?” I asked, unable to keep from grinning at her sunny face.

“Because I got to spend them both with my best friend,” she said, flapping up and embracing me.

This time, I had no reason to feel guilty for being called her best friend. I hadn’t failed her in the end. She had had a great Hearth’s Warming after all. This time, then, I returned the hug just as warmly.

“Thanks, Moonlight,” I said. “I’m glad I got to share this holiday with you. You’re an amazing friend.”

Moonlight gave me another squeeze, then pulled back with a happy laugh. Long gone were the days when she cowered from a thunderstorm alone in her house. I guess the public exposure from getting that job worked wonders for her.

“Happy Hearth’s Warming, Moonlight,” I said.

“Happy Hearth’s Warming, Dave,” she replied.

I headed slowly back to my own home, while Moonlight waved at me from her porch, intending to get some dinner started, then maybe listen to my new records some more. It had been my first Hearth’s Warming ever, and though I deeply regretted not being able to spend it with my family, I couldn’t deny it had been one of the best holidays I had ever experienced.
> A Full Day
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Early the next morning, I was woken up by a series of loud knocks at the door. Glancing at my watch, I saw that it was 7 in the morning. Grumbling to myself for losing a precious half-hour of sleep, I got up and shuffled to the door. Opening it up, I found my four fellow Crusaders standing at the door, beaming up at me. One by one, they saluted me, as if I was a general or captain.

“Girls, what’s going on? Why are you up so early?”

“We got your gift yesterday, Dave!” said Apple Bloom.

“How did you know we really wanted that chocolate fountain?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“You’re a total mind reader!” said Scootaloo.

“Thanks so much!” said Dinky.

“Aw, you’re welcome, girls,” I said, kneeling down so I was more on their eye level. “And thank you for the gifts you and your families sent. I was really happy to get them. Just promise me you won’t get too carried away with that chocolate fountain.”

“We promise,” they said, in unison.

“Applejack, Big Mac, and Granny Smith also really liked the gifts you got them,” said Apple Bloom. “How did ya ever guess what they wanted?”

“Yeah!” said Sweetie Belle. “I didn’t think Rarity told a lot of ponies about wanting that fancy silk you got her. She was so excited to get it, though!”

“What did I tell ya, girls?” asked Scootaloo. “He’s a mind-reader! Must be a human thing.”

“There’s probably a low level psychic field around him,” said Dinky.

“He’s sure a better psychic than Ah am. Scootaloo’s probably still got a paper cut from those cards hittin’ her face.”

“I think I do too, come to think of it,” said Sweetie Belle, putting a hoof to her cheek

(Man, first Pinkie, now them? How long is this gonna keep up?)

“All right, Crusaders, since you woke me up, I should get ready for work. You still off of school?”

“Uh-huh!” said Sweetie Belle. “Until next week!”

“We’ve got some big plans for today,” said Apple Bloom. “We’re gonna get our ice skatin’ cutie marks!”

“Ice skating?” I echoed, pensively. “You sure, girls? I didn’t have too good a time when I tried it.”

“It’ll be easy-peasy,” said Scootaloo, confidently. “The next time you’ll see us, Dave, we’ll be-”

Oh, here we go again. This time, I was just in time to cover my ears.

“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS ICE SKATERS!”

“Well, good luck,” I said, uncovering my ears.

The Crusaders scampered off, all except Dinky. She dawdled behind the others, stopped, then turned back to look at me.

“Something wrong, Dinky?” I asked.

Dinky looked at me for a moment longer, then shook her head with a smile.

“No. Nothing’s wrong. Bye, Dave!”

And she hurried off after her friends. What had that been about? Was there something she had wanted to tell me? Well, Dinky would let me know if anything was bothering her eventually. We were fellow Crusaders, after all. Giving off a huge yawn, I got up and went about getting myself ready for work.

I had just gotten dressed when someone else knocked at my door. Fortunate timing. Opening it up, I beheld Derpy and Sparkler, both beaming. I saw that Derpy was wearing the muffin-motiffed scarf I had commissioned from Rarity, as well as a cap with a bauble that resembled a muffin top. It looked like I wasn’t the only one who got her something muffin-related.

“Hello, Derpy,” I said, pleasantly. “Hello, Sparkler. I already saw your sisters earlier.”

“Hello, Dave,” said Derpy. “Thank you so much for this scarf! It’s wonderful!”

“Rarity made actually. I just commissioned her for it.”

Derpy fluttered her wings, smiling like a filly.

“Well, it’s a really nice gift,” said Sparkler. “Oh, and the sign concept for the Brimstone Lounge! I love it!”

“I figured I’d run it by you first. I’m so glad you approve.”

“I do! You should get started on the real deal soon. Meanwhile, I’m gonna get the restaurant going!”

“Great! And let me just thank the both of you for the great muffins! Had one or two with breakfast yesterday. It was almost hard to stop from gobbling down the whole batch at once.”

“You’re very welcome,” said Derpy. “Remember, just like our card said, it’s-”

“Never too late for a muffin,” concluded Sparkler, grinning.

“Exactly,” said Derpy.

“Duly noted,” I said, unable to keep from grinning myself.

“Have a great day, Dave,” said Sparkler.

“You too, both of you,” I said.

The two Hooves mares turned and made off back for home, and I shut the door. Having them pop by to thank me made me wonder how many other thankful ponies I would see today. I was both half-anticipating and half-dreading the welcome I was going to get from Lyra and Bon Bon once I showed up, considering I got them exactly what they wanted.


***


Sure enough, I had hardly stepped through the candy shop door when I was greeted with a piercing ‘EEEEEEEEEE!’ that made my ears ring. Once Lyra finished squeeing, she pointed at me, and began to dance in an odd, yet admittedly graceful, way, flailing her forelegs about like she was a ballerina and wobbling back and forth.

“Lyra!” came Bon Bon’s reprimanding voice. “Down, girl! Heel!”

Lyra made a disgruntled noise and stopped dancing.

“Don’t talk to me like I’m a dog, Bonnie,” she said, grumpily. “That’s how the seaponies express their thanks: through dance. It’s authentic!”

Bon Bon merely rolled her eyes.

“I take it you liked what I got you?” I asked, perplexed.

“Are you kidding?” Lyra asked. “I love it! A genuine seapony comb! The box itself is so beautiful, but the comb, man! The comb! An honest-to-Celestia seapony artifact! Oh, you are the best human I’ve ever met!”

(I’m the only human you’ve ever met, Lyra.)

“Besides,” she added, looking at Bon Bon, “it’s not like you weren’t over the moon when you got Dave’s bottle of liquid rainbow.”

“I wouldn’t call my excitement ‘over the moon’, Lyra,” said Bon Bon.

“Oh, please,” said Lyra, disdainfully. “You were parading around the apartment squealing like a school-filly.”

“Don’t you have some candy to taste test?” Bon Bon snapped, cheeks reddening.

Lyra smirked in a self-satisfied way and trotted off, while Bon Bon approached me, muttering something that sounded like ‘crazy unicorn’. Her anger melted, however, as she reared up to my eye level, smiling gently.

“Thank you so much. You’re a very thoughtful young man.”

She pressed her cheek warmly against mine, then got back on all fours.

“I owe a lot to you for letting me work here, Bon Bon,” I said, truthfully. “You and Lyra have really made me feel welcome. But now I’ve got thank the both of you for your very generous gift. I never expected my own piano!”

“It was my idea,” said Lyra, proudly.

“Our idea,” said Bon Bon, giving Lyra a dirty look. “It was a collaborative effort.”

“Right, of course,” said Lyra, but she whispered to me, “Totally my idea.”

“Lyra!”

“Just kidding, Bonnie,” said Lyra, before saying to me, in a more business-like tone, “So we don’t want you slouching in between lessons, mister. We want to see improvement. Get me?”

“Yes, teacher,” I said, in a sarcastic imitation of a bored school kid.

“That’s ‘Maestro’ to you!” said Lyra, with a smile.

“All right, you two,” said Bon Bon, “let’s get cracking.”

“Yes, ma’am!” I said, saluting.

“Aye-aye, Capitan!” said Lyra.

I took my place behind the counter, while Lyra sat in her usual spot.

“Fun Hearth’s Warming?” I asked the both of them.

“The best,” said Lyra, fondly. “Great food, great gifts, a cozy night in front of the fire.”

“Yes, very nice,” concurred Bon Bon. “How about you?”

“For my first, it was great. Everypony’s gifts, plus a snowball fight in town square-”

“We heard about that!” said Lyra. “If only we knew about it sooner, we could have joined in! I was a wicked snowball fighter when I was a filly, the best in Canterlot!”

“Until Octavia got you from behind while you were gloating inside your snow fort,” said Bon Bon.

This earned her a sour look from her taste-testing friend.

“And then Moonlight and I went to see the town’s production of the founding of Equestria.”

“Ooh, neat!” said Lyra, perking back up. “The Canterlot play’s spectacular, but the one here in Ponyville’s pretty impressive too!”

Just then, the door’s bell tinkled, and we snapped to attention.

“Welcome to Bon Bon’s Bon Bons!” I said. “How may we satisfy your sweet tooth? Oh, hey, Twi, Spike!”

Sure enough, both Twilight and Spike entered and went straight up to me, grinning from ear to ear. Twilight reared up, and placed her hoof on my hand as it sat on the counter.

“I don’t know how you knew, but thank you so much!” she said. “Those quills were exactly what I wanted, but they must have cost you a fortune!”

“I’m just glad you liked them,” I said.

“And thanks for the pillow!” said Spike. “Last night was the best night’s sleep I’ve had in a long time, especially since my spines went through my last one. It just hasn’t been as fluffy since.”

“You’re welcome, little buddy,” I said, leaning down so he could give me a fist-bump. “Who wrote that book you guys gave me, by the way?”

“Oh, that?” asked Twilight. “It was written ages ago by an Equestrian anthropologist. Lyra was a great help in tracking it down. She’s like a bloodhound for anything mythical or steeped in lore.”

Lyra grinned proudly.

“I helped,” declared Spike.

“We know, Spike,” said Twilight, with a smile.

“Well, thanks,” I said. “Anything we can get you?”

“Oh, no, thank you. Spike and I still have a lot of holiday treats cluttering up the pantry. We’ve gotta get through those, and I’ll probably need to diet afterward,” she added, ruefully, putting a hoof to her belly. 

“Guess I kinda went overboard baking this year,” said Spike, sheepishly.

“And thank you, Bon Bon,” Twilight said, “for that antique cookbook you found me. I’d been looking for a reference on what the settler ponies used to eat.”

“Oh, it was my pleasure,” said Bon Bon.

“Well, have a good day, everypony!”

After that, Twilight and Spike exited the shop.

“Well, at least somepony’s looking out for their figure,” said Bon Bon, “unlike some ponies I know.”

She glanced fixedly at Lyra, who had just swallowed the last of a chocolate bar she had set before her. It took her a moment or two to realize Bon Bon was glaring at her.

“What?” she asked, innocently.

“Lyra, I think I know a good New Year’s resolution for you.”

“Yeah? What?”

“To lose some weight.”

Lyra stared at her, then burst into a hearty fit of laughter. Bon Bon gave me an exasperated look, as if to say ‘This is what I have to put up with’.

“I’m serious!” Bon Bon snapped at Lyra, who was still giggling. “I have no issues with you taste-testing my candy, but outside of that, you’ve been getting...well, even more ravenous than usual. Remember when I baked a baker’s dozen of cookies, and by the time you left the kitchen, they were reduced to half a dozen?”

Lyra stopped laughing, but she still looked amused.

“Don’t you smirk at me!” Bon Bon snapped.

“And just who ate the other half dozen?” Lyra asked.

Bon Bon blushed furiously and said, hurriedly, “T-That’s besides the point! 

While this had been going on, I looked down at myself. Was it just my imagination, or had I gotten a bit bigger as of late? I’d never been in the best of shape, but during the holidays, especially, I had felt a bit more bloated. I put a hand to my stomach, and couldn’t help feeling that I had indeed put on a few pounds recently. I’d never made much of an attempt back home, but then again, I was doing a lot of things here that I never would have at home. Well, I knew what I was going to do in light of this.

“We could all lose weight together,” I suggested.

Both ponies stared at me, Bon Bon’s indignation melting.

“Huh?” asked my unicorn pal, looking puzzled.

“I’m not feeling too fit myself, to be honest. All those cupcakes and candies start to add up, you know. Pinkie inhales sweets like crazy, but she puts in the effort to exercise. We could all do something similar together.”

Bon Bon’s face lit up.

“Now there’s a good idea! What do you think, Lyra?”

Lyra looked from Bon Bon to me. She had the look of one trapped between a rock and a hard place. She chewed her lip, then sighed, as if resigned to the inevitable. She said,

“Well...I’m not too jazzed about diet and exercise, but if you two are there burning the fat off with me, I think I’ll give it a shot.”

“Wonderful!” said Bon Bon. “I knew you’d see things my way, Lyra.”

“Don’t get too cozy about it,” said Lyra, grumpily.

“It’ll fit nicely with my daily routine, anyway,” I said, “since I only have a couple days left.”

Whoops. I wondered if I should have said that.

“Yes, that’s right,” said Bon Bon. “Thank you so much for your help during the holidays.”

“It’s not gonna be the same without you here, man,” said Lyra.

“I’m really grateful I got to help you girls out,” I said. “Just know that, if you ever do want an extra hand, I’ll be glad to pitch in.”

Bon Bon and Lyra both smiled, and soon after, we returned to our posts, as more customers were coming.


***


As I had predicted, several of my pony friends stopped by the shop to see me and thank me for their gifts. The first was Rainbow Dash, who was in very high spirits. She soared up to me and threw a foreleg around my shoulders.

“Dude, you’re amazing!” she said. “Thanks so much for the poster!”

“I tried to get you the newer one, but they ran out, so I got you that one. I was hoping you didn’t already have it.”

“Nope, I didn’t. Thanks, man!”

“You’re welcome, and thanks for the record. So, you and Pinkie were both in on the whole piano prank thing?”

“Heheh, yep! Pretty good joke, huh?”

“I’ll say. You were really elaborate with it.”

“Might have been our best yet! Well, it’ll still be hard to top the time we put bubble bath into the Ponyville Marching Band’s instruments before its latest parade. There were pink and blue bubbles everywhere!”

Rainbow hugged herself in midair, kicking her back legs and giggling from the memory.

“Were they able to trace it back to you because of that?” I asked.

“Funnily enough, yeah,” said Rainbow. “Guess we should have chosen different colors.”


***


The only pony who wasn’t outspoken about their gift today was Screwball, and I’d never known her to speak ever since our first night at the bowling alley. She lifted herself into the air (the propeller on her beanie spinning like crazy), flew from the door to the counter, and, still suspended in the air, placed her hooves on my hands. She grinned toothily and wagged her messy tail.

“I take it you liked the cards I got you?” I asked.

She nodded her head vigorously, making that familiar jingling noise.

“Well, thanks for the lamp. It’s really got me entertained.”

Screwball looked very pleased with herself, and leaned forward to give my cheek a nuzzle. As soon as she had left, Lyra chuckled to herself.

“Well, somepony sure seems thankful,” she said.

“Oh, don’t even go there, Lyra,” I retorted. “Or did you already forget your seapony dance of gratitude?”

“Touche, Dave,” said Lyra, sounding impressed. “Tou. Che.”


***


The only others who showed up to thank me that day were Berry and Vinyl, who came in together. Berry breached the counter and cuffed me right in the side, knocking the wind right out of me. Vinyl snickered.

“Golden Griffon Grapes!” Berry squealed “Golden! Griffon! Grapes! How did you get your hands on them, Dave??”

“One of my colleagues in the Round Table’s a griffon,” I wheezed, massaging my side. “He was very generous about it.”

“Oh, thank you so much!” Berry gushed, giving me a squeeze that set me aching again.

“You’re welcome. And thank you for the grape juice. I do love grape anything.”

“Me too! Great minds think alike, don’t they?”

“Of course.”

(Except I’m much more of a lightweight.)

For her part, Vinyl just beamed at me.

“Dude, you’re something else,” she said. “I’ve been looking everywhere for that record, and you found it for me! Thanks a mil!”

“You’re welcome, Vinyl. Thanks for my record, by the way. How did you know I’d be getting a phonograph to play it on, though?”

“The Pinkinator told me you just might be getting one, so I thought, ‘better safe than sorry’.”

(Does she have nicknames like that for everypony, or just Pinkie?)

“Listen, Vinyl, I wish I could have come to either of your Hearth’s Warming shows-”

“Ah, don’t sweat it, dude,” said Vinyl, airily. “I’d love it if you could come tonight, though. It’ll be my last performance before I head up to Canterlot. I’m gonna spend time with Octavia before and after her concert, so I won’t have a New Year’s show.”

“You’re not gonna injure yourself so she’d have to take care of you again, are you?” I asked, shrewdly.

“So long as they catch me when I stage-dive,” said Vinyl, with a cheeky grin.

“Well, I’ll definitely try to come tonight, then. Just don’t be offended if I’m not up at the front.”

“Sweet! Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you’re on the list. Catch ya later, man. See ya, gals!”

She directed this to Lyra and Bon Bon, who bid her goodbye as she strutted out of the shop, bobbing her head to what I presumed was a song in her brain. Berry followed soon after, waving goodbye in turn and holding a bag of gummy worms she’d purchased while Vinyl and I had been talking.


***


The rest of the day passed like any other, without further visits from grateful ponies. Finally, when closing time rolled around, we packed up and prepared to head out. Bon Bon turned to me.

“Dave, New Year’s Eve is your last day working here, since we’re closed on New Year’s Day. I’m not saying that to discourage you, but just as a heads up.”

“Thanks, Bon Bon. Again, thanks a bunch for the job.”

“Oh, it was my pleasure.”

“Our pleasure,” Lyra interjected. “Can’t have all the glory, Bonnie.”

Bon Bon rolled her eyes.

“Have a great night at Club Scratch,” she said. “And be careful. The volume may take some getting used to.”

Lyra blew a dismissive raspberry.

“Who cares about volume? You feel music, Bonnie, not just hear it.”

“Yes, of course,” said Bon Bon, adding in an undertone, “whatever that means.”

“Night, dude!” Lyra said to me.

“Good night, ladies. See you tomorrow.”


***


It wasn’t difficult to locate Club Scratch that night. All I had to do was follow the sound of ground-shuddering bass. At last, I came upon a building brilliantly lit with neon, twisted into the words ‘Club Scratch’ and a representation of Vinyl’s sunglasses. There was a line of ponies still waiting to head inside, and the majority of them looked like teens or college-age ponies, with wild hairstyles and clothes and young faces. An intimidating stallion, about as tall and buff-chested as Big Mac, dressed in a black suit jacket and wearing a pair of shades, stood at the door, holding a checklist. Each pony that came up to him was asked to submit their name, he’d check his list, then decide if they could enter. Once or twice, I saw him oust what must have been gate-crashers not on the list.

At last, it was my turn.

“Name?” the stallion asked, in a deep voice.

“Dave,” I said, trying not to betray my nervousness.

The stallion peered down at his list, then nodded.

“You’re clear,” he said. “Head on in.”

Relieved, I stepped past him through the doors. The reverberating beats were much more intense in here, as were the lights. The floor was one of those multicolored flashing panel dance floors, and it was occupied by ponies getting their groove on. I could also see a brightly-lit bar where a stallion was serving drinks. I imagined things got pretty crazy around here when the patrons were nice and sauced. There were tables set up on the outside of the dance floor, where some ponies were enjoying drinks and appetizer-esque foods.

And there, behind the turntables, situated between two monstrous speakers, was Vinyl herself. The lights glinted on her shades, and there was a wild, carefree smile on her face as her head bobbed, her frizzy mane flying. She looked like she was in her exact element, just like the times I’d seen her deejaying at parties. I still wondered how she could hear so well with so much reverberation and sound.

I’ll be honest, I felt a little out of place. Here I was in my street clothes, as plain as you could possibly be, standing among these ponies brimming with wub-induced energy. I didn’t even know where to start, since I wasn’t a dancer by habit, that dance I did with Rarity notwithstanding. I supposed I could just take a seat and listen, so I made my way to an unoccupied table. No sooner had I done so than a mare, whom I supposed was a waitress, came up to me, handing me a small menu.

“Welcome to Club Scratch!” she said, in a loud voice so that I could hear. “Can I getcha something to drink?”

I glanced down at the menu. There was a long list of cocktails, but there was also a list of soft drinks and non-alcoholic beverages, quite affordable and with free refills.

“I’ll take a cola,” I said, handing the menu back to her.

She scurried off, returning momentarily with a tall glass of cola with a nice cluster of ice cubes within. I paid out the three bits it cost.

“Thanks.”

“Sure thing, hun!”

The waitress went to take care of another table, and I sat back, sipping my drink. I couldn’t quite place the taste. It reminded me simultaneously of Pepsi and Dr. Pepper, though both had very different flavors. The bass was so intense that even the soda inside the glass shuddered, the ice cubes vibrating.

There was a nice variety in the music: techno, rock, jazz, rap (Vinyl herself provided the lyrics), as well as one that was an odd mix of techno, tropical, and...classic. Vinyl called it the ‘Tropical Octave’. Was it composed with Octavia in mind? It was pretty dang catchy. It actually had me bobbing along in my seat.


***


Several glasses of soda later, my head was throbbing from the overabundance of bass and wubs, but despite the volume, I could hear nature calling loud and clear. All in all, however, it had been a pretty good night. The music had been amazing, even if I could still feel it vibrating in my body. I’d just pop into the restroom, then be on my way.

Once that was taken care of, I joined the few other club patrons who were ‘wubbed out’ and heading home earlier than everypony else. At the door, I turned around for another look at Vinyl. Her shades were up, and she caught my eye. I gave her the thumbs up, and she grinned and nodded back, although that could have been just more of her head bobbing. At least she’d know I had enjoyed myself.

Out on the streets, I could still feel the reverberations of Vinyl’s music as I walked away. I was just nearing the edge of town when a familiar voice called out to me.

“Dave! Hey there, sport!”

Turning around, I saw Magnum trot up to me. He was grinning from ear to ear.

“Glad I caught up to ya, kiddo. Thanks a bunch for the jersey! I heard Big Mac and Caramel got ones just like it.”

“And Meadow Song and the Doctor,” I added.

“Swell! I feel like we’re a bona fide team now! Thanks, kid.”

“It was my pleasure, and thanks for the bowling ball from all of you. Maybe now I’ll be on a more even keel with a ball with finger holes.”

“Don’t mention it, kiddo,” said Magnum, clapping me on the shoulder. “Can’t wait to see how it goes next Tuesday. First of the month, remember?”

“Yep!”

“Well, see ya then, Dave.”

“Good night, Magnum. Say hi to the family.”

“Oh, I will.”

The two of us headed our respective ways for home. As I neared my own home, I wondered how long it would take my insides to stop vibrating from my exposure to Vinyl’s music. Hopefully it wouldn’t throw off my bowling game.

> New Year's Eve
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was one of those days where I woke up early. The kind where I could tell right away what kind of day was in store. In this case, something in the air told me a good day was coming up. Well, I grabbed breakfast, adding another of the Hooves family muffins to spice it up. I finished that delight soon enough, but with the early wake-up came the realization that I had some extra time before work this morning. Since I just felt like moving about instead of sitting still, I wandered about the house a bit. As I trod through my living room, which still faintly sparkled from the cleaning Moonlight had given it, I thought on how relaxing a good, brisk walk was. Walking and jogging were the most tolerable exercises for me, and Bon Bon had already tried encouraging Lyra to take walks with her in the evening, so that should fit in nicely with the diet plans we were making. After a while, I took a glance down at my watch. It was now around the time I would usually head out the door for work, so I geared up and left.

On the way to Bon Bon’s, as I entered the marketplace, I spotted Fluttershy and Rarity walking together. Rarity was talking heatedly about something that some mare had apparently said that rubbed her the wrong way, while Fluttershy was merely nodding whenever she paused. The gentle pegasus seemed content merely to listen rather than speak, while Rarity was more than capable of filling in any gaps in conversation.

They were drawing closer as Rarity prattled on, but when they finally took notice of me once we were level, they stopped, and Rarity clammed up at once

“Hello, ladies,” I said, genially.

I was expecting a ‘hello’ back, but instead, Fluttershy enveloped me in a warm embrace, while Rarity looked on with a mixture of surprise and amusement on her face. Fluttershy was surprisingly strong for somepony of her slender build.

“Thank you so much, Dave,” she said. “How did you find out I really wanted to see Octavia’s concert?”

“Oh, lucky guess, I suppose,” I said, innocently. 

“Ohh,” Fluttershy said, suddenly looking concerned. “I just hope I didn’t keep some other pony who really wanted to go from going. It would be better if there were lots of seats left over...Oh no! That wouldn’t be fair to Octavia, then. She deserves a full audience...Oh, I’m just being ridiculous, aren’t I? I’m sorry, Dave.”

“What she means to say, Dave, is ‘Thank you’,” Rarity interjected.

“Yes, that.”

“You’re welcome, Fluttershy,” I said. “And thank you for the cookbook. I’ve been looking through it, and the recipes in it look great! Don’t even get me started on the desserts!”

Although, if I was going to go on this diet with Bon Bon and Lyra, I was going to have to refrain from looking at them, lest I get the urge to binge.

Fluttershy smiled.

“I particularly prefer the dandelion cheesecake,” she said, “but Angel prefers the mint leaf cookies.”

She then released me, only for Rarity to take over with a much more sedate embrace.

“You darling, thoughtful boy,” she said. “I had no idea you knew I was in need of vermillion silk, and you even got it from Le Roche’s, no less!”

“I’m glad you like it,” I said. “Thanks for the new clothes, by the way. Incidentally, how did you know I like fedoras?”

“Call it a lady’s intuition,” said Rarity. “I saw how well you looked in a top hat and deerstalker, so a fedora was right up your alley.”

“Well, I greatly appreciate it, milady,” I said, as Rarity released me. “Where are you two off to?”

“The spa, naturally,” said Rarity. “A dip in the hot tub is just what’s needed on a day like today, though I daresay it’ll get much colder mid-January.”

“And afterwards,” said Fluttershy, “I was going to stock up on some long-lasting feed for my animal friends. Once they wake up from hibernation and return from the south, they’ll need plenty of nourishment.”

“That’s good,” I said. “Well, I hope you have a great time in Canterlot.”

“Thank you, Dave, and I hope you do at the party tomorrow.”

I blinked.

“Party? What party?”

“You didn’t know?” Rarity asked. “Pinkie Pie-”

But Rarity suddenly stopped mid-sentence, and looked as if she was staring at a ghost right behind me. I whipped around...but there was no one there.

“You all right, Rarity?” I asked.

“I thought I saw...Er, *ahem* yes. I’m quite fine, Dave.”

“Ooookay, then,” I said, uncertainly. “Well, I should get going. See you, ladies.”

“Goodbye, Dave.”

“Ta!”

The two resumed their journey to the spa, Rarity picking up where she left off in her gossip, while I continued onwards to work. However, I had barely gone more than a few steps when a familiar, throaty voice called after me.

“Good morning, Dave! I wanted to say ‘Thank you’ for your gift on Hearth’s Warming Day!”

Only one equine I knew spoke like that, and sure enough, turning around allowed me to behold a smiling Zecora, who was wearing a thicker cloak than the one I’d usually seen her wearing, and which was a forest green rather than an earthy brown.

“Hey, Zecora! I’m glad you liked it. I thought it suited you pretty well.”

“It adds a nice touch to my decor arrangement,” said Zecora, before adopting a more puzzled tone, ‘but why give me a mask that stands for ‘engagement’?”

A hot rush of embarrassment and shock ran through me at these words. Engagement?! As in, engaged to be married?! But Mr. Bric-a-Brac told me it meant friendship and companionship! How could an antiques dealer have gotten something like that wrong?!

“Engagement?” I stammered. “Zecora, I had no idea-! I mean, I think you’re a great friend, but-”

But Zecora broke into a chuckling laugh, and I felt my embarrassment and anxiousness ebbing away.

“I was only joking around, my dear human boy,” she laughed. “Your mask means friendship, and brings me much joy.”

What was it with these ponies messing with me? Maybe I was just an easy target, but at least it wasn’t mean-spirited. Zecora obviously had meant no malice by it. I did, however, make a mental note adding her to my list of known pranksters.

“Good,” I said. “And thanks for the wind chimes. Did you make them yourself?”

I made another mental note to hang those chimes up one of these days.

“I did indeed craft them by hoof,” said Zecora. “The wood is long-lasting and weather-proof. I hope when they ring, you will think of me, in my home deep in the Everfree.”

“Zecora,” I said, kindly, “how could I ever forget about you? You saved my life the first time we met. That’s not something you can easily forget.”

Wait a minute. That rhymed. Now she had me doing it! Zecora, however, contented herself with a grin.

“I am glad to hear that. It warms my heart. Until next time, then. For now, I depart.”

“All right. See you, Zecora.”

As I took leave of the zebra, I couldn’t help thinking back to that day she’d found me bleeding, threatened by timberwolves, looking for a lost and lonely filly. However, I didn’t really have time to reminisce. I was getting close to running late, so I picked up the pace.


***


That day at Bon Bon’s passed routinely, without further visits from thankful ponies. The one big difference was in Lyra. Bon Bon had given her a couple books to read about successful Equestrian diets and the effects they had produced. Lyra’s spirits didn’t seem at all bolstered by these success stories. On the contrary, she mumbled and grumbled from the time I walked in, and made faces every time Bon Bon turned her back. Finally, Bon Bon got fed up with the grumbling.

“Lyra, will you knock it off?” she asked. “It’s just a simple diet.”

“But I don’t wanna diet, and I don’t need to diet!” whined Lyra. “Why do I have to starve myself?”

“Oh, don’t be ridiculous,” said Bon Bon, impatiently. “I’m not asking you to starve yourself. I’m not that cruel. Just a few pounds off the tummy, that’s all.”

Lyra only made a derisive ‘Hmph!’ noise and turned her back on her friend, facing me instead.

“Listen to this, Dave. Bonnie won’t let me use her radio until I lose 10 pounds! That’s cruel and un-equine torture!”

“It’s so you don’t spend every night parked next to it on the couch,” said Bon Bon, firmly.

“Come on, Dave, talk some sense into her!” Lyra pleaded.

(Oh, please keep me out of this.)

“Er, so, Bon Bon,” I said, trying to divert the topic, “I know I said the three of us could diet together, but did you honestly want to take part? You look in fine shape to me.”

“Well, thank you, Dave,” said Bon Bon, “but it’s not entirely my weight I’m concerned about.”

She cast a sidelong glance at Lyra, who had just pulled her tongue back into her mouth.

“What is it, then?” I asked.

“The other day, Lyra broke one of our chairs when she sat in it. I know it’s been a while since she left her boarding school in Canterlot, but she really needs to keep healthy somehow, or she could have problems down the line.”

“I see,” I said, gravely.

Lyra said nothing, but the resentment had faded from her face, replaced with a thoughtful, sad expression. It looked as if Bon Bon’s words had actually left an impact on her. She looked up at her best friend.

“Bonnie,” she began, apologetically, but Bon Bon cut her off, stepping over and draping a foreleg around her shoulders.

“It’s all right,” she said, gently. “We’re going to get through this together.”

“Exactly,” I said, leaning down and putting an arm around Lyra from her other side. “And I’ll be right there with you.”

Lyra smiled, apparently mollified by the comforting words of her two close friends, and hugged the both of us in turn. Of course, that was when she turned to me with a smirk and said,
 
“Maybe in the beginning, but I’ve seen you running, and your stamina could really use some work. Don’t worry, though. Your Auntie Lyra’s gonna stick with this to the bitter end.”

I was pretty sure we weren’t related, but I felt it was best to just roll with it, since she was in a good mood again.


***


Actually, there was one other thing of note that happened that day. At around 3, Pinkie arrived with her sisters.

“Hi, Davie!” said Pinkie.

“Hey, Pinkie, Marble, Limestone,” I said. “What brings you around here?”

“We just came to say goodbye, Dave,” said Marble.

“Goodbye?” I asked, puzzled.

 “We’re heading back to the rock farm tonight,” said Limestone.

“Oh,” I said, feeling a little disappointed. “You’re not going to stay for New Year’s?”

“We wish we could,” said Marble, “but we promised Mom, Dad, and Grammy that we’d be back by New Year’s Eve.”

“We’re sorry we couldn’t spend a lot of time with you,” said Limestone. “Feels like both times we’ve met, we only see you a little bit.”

“Oh, no no,” I insisted. “This was about you spending time with Pinkie, and I was more than happy to oblige. I hope you all had fun.”

“We sure did!” said Pinkie. 

“Of course,” said Marble, smiling. “Thanks so much for arranging this for us, Dave.”

“Yeah, thanks,” said Limestone. “You’ll always be welcome to stop by the rock farm if you’re in the area.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” I said.

“Oh!” said Pinkie, suddenly. “Before I forget, Davie, I’ve got something for you, Lyra, and Bon Bon. Rarity won’t get to spoil it, either!”

She actually stuck a hoof into her mane and began digging around inside it, sticking her tongue out in concentration. I could hear her hoof rustling about inside the tangle of hair, but I also heard clinking and jingling noises that made it sound like she kept everything that should have been in one’s pockets in her mane or tail. At last, she pulled out, perfectly intact, a sealed card and handed it to me. Pinkie then went to Lyra and Bon Bon, performing the same search through her mane for them. Flipping mine open, I read the following message, written in very loopy writing:

“You’re invited to Pinkie Pie’s New Year’s Eve Bash!
Where: Sugarcube Corner
When: December 28, 8:00 P.M.
What: Food, games, music, dancing, welcoming the new year”

A New Year’s party? Headed by Pinkie? That sounded like fun!

“Thanks, Pinkie,” I said, appreciatively. “With you at the helm, it’s bound to be great.”

Pinkie smiled squeakily.

“Well, Dave, so long,” said Marble.

“Hope to see you again soon,” said Limestone.

“Same to you two,” I said, reaching out to shake their hooves. “Safe travels, both of you.”

With that, the Pie sisters exited the shop, while Lyra and Bon Bon eagerly discussed the upcoming party.


***


New Year’s Eve had finally arrived, though it was still odd for me to be celebrating it on the 28th of the month, and the town was buzzing about the festivities. Even inside the shop, customers were in high spirits, prepared to stay up all night at Pinkie’s party. It also happened to be my last day working at the shop. I was somewhat sad at the season being over, but I did have another job, and I was sure that with a new year, would come new assignments from Ironmane. I could certainly use the extra free time to deal with them.

At last, 6 o’clock rolled around. We locked up together one last time, then Bon Bon handed me a bag containing my final wages. It was a bit smaller than normal, probably because of my two days off.

“Thanks, Bon Bon,” I said, appreciatively. “Again, I’m really glad I could help you and Lyra out.”

Bon Bon smiled, and Lyra reared up and gave me an affectionate squeeze.

“Feel free to stop by if you wanna hang out,” she said. “And keep up on that piano practicing, got it?”

“Of course,” I said, ruffling her mane. “I’ve got more time to practice now, after all.”

“That’s the spirit,” said Lyra, letting go of me. “We’ll see you at Sugarcube Corner, all righty?”

“Gotcha. See you two in a couple hours.”

I’ll admit, I felt a twinge of regret as I stepped away from the shop, knowing I wouldn’t be working here again, and that I’d only be a customer the next time I came. Well, maybe it was for the best that I reduced my visits for the time being, for the sake of the diet.

I arrived at home to wash up and change my clothes for the party. I wasn’t going to go all out, since it was a Pinkie party, not a soiree like Rarity would rather attend, but I figured it was a good time to break out my new fedora. I stood looking at myself in the bathroom mirror with it perched on my head. Kinda foolish, I know, but it made me wonder if Linkara felt the same way whenever he wore his trilby.

I still had some time to kill, so I sat down at my new piano and tried to play something. Needless to say, I was still pretty dreadful. Even after testing out which key was where, I still had to master reading sheet music. I’d have to bring that up at my next lesson. I was glad no one could hear me as I played, and that only I had to endure my musical mangling. I prayed that no one else knew I was practicing and didn’t make me play something at the party, if that was even an option.


***


7:30 rolled around, and I figured that was time enough to head over to the party, even if it meant taking my time. I didn’t want to be too early. Just as I was stepping out, Moonlight’s door opened, and she stepped out. Once again, it took a moment to register, but I noticed something different about her. She had changed her mane-style yet again, swapping her pigtails for bangs and one braid draped over her neck. It was a nice look for her.

“Moonlight!” I called.

“Oh!” she said, upon spying me. “Hello, Dave! Happy New Year!”

“Same to you!” I said. “You look really nice. Did you change your mane?”

“I did, actually. I just decided on it today.”

I saw her eyes travel up me to the top of my head, resting on my hat.

“Nice hat,” she complimented.

“Thanks. It was a gift from Rarity. Were you on your way to the party?”

“Yep!” said Moonlight. “Were you?”

“Yeah. Shall we go together?”

“All right.”

So, side by side, the two of us left our little neighborhood and started the walk toward Ponyville.


***


Sugarcube Corner was already packed with ponies by the time we arrived, and plenty noisy to boot. Music was playing, ponies were laughing, eating, drinking, and talking. I could pick out most of my Ponyville friends, including Lyra and Bon Bon, Berry, Derpy, Sparkler, Big Mac, Magnum, Pearl, Minuette, Zecora, Cheerilee, Screwball, Twilight, Spike, Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Pinkie. Fluttershy and Vinyl were absent, obviously because they were both in Canterlot. Mr. and Mrs. Cake were bringing out cakes and pastries from the kitchen, balancing trays precariously on their heads and backs and setting them down with expert ease.

“Dave!” called Mr. Cake, setting down his current cargo. “How are you, kiddo?”

“Pretty good, Mr. Cake,” I said, heading over.

“Thanks for the bungee seats for the foals. They can’t get enough of them. Look!”

He pointed to a corner of the bakery, where Pound and Pumpkin were indeed bouncing up and down in the bungee seats I had gotten for them, squealing with delight while Pinkie supervised with a big grin on her face.

“Aww, that’s so adorable,” said Moonlight. “That was so thoughtful of you, Dave.”

“Well, you know…” I said, modestly.

“We’d ordered your gift, but it was put on backorder,” said Mr. Cake, apologetically. “The four of us were visiting relatives, you see.”

“Don’t worry about it, Mr. Cake,” I said. “I understand.”

“Davie! Moonlight!” called Pinkie, bouncing over to us. “ Nice hat, Davie! Nice manedo, Moonlight! Glad you both could make it!”

“I wouldn’t miss a Pinkie party for the world,” I said.

“Me neither,” said Moonlight.

“Only 4 more hours until the new year!” Pinkie said, eagerly. “I can hardly wait!”

Pinkie then hopped away to go mingle with some ponies, and before I knew what was happening, I felt somepony grab me and drag me backwards. Next thing I knew, Applejack had me in a hug that, while warm, still made me feel like my ribs were about to be tenderized.

“Been hopin’ to see ya, sugar,” she said. “Thanks a heap for the new lasso rope. How’d ya know I needed one?”

“Oh, let’s just say I’ve got my sources,” I said. “Thanks for the cookware, by the way. It gives me a lot more to work with.”

“Yer welcome, hun. Granny sends her thanks for the hoofwarmers, too.”

“Oh, she couldn’t make it?”

“Nah. She ain’t too good with stayin’ up late. She threw her own celebration in the kitchen before we left, sayin’ it was ‘midnight somewhere’.”

The two of us had a good chuckle over that, and Applejack released me, only for Big Mac to clap me on the shoulder, nearly sending me into the floor.

“Thanks for the jersey, Dave,” he said. “Ah love it.”

“You’re welcome, Big Mac,” I said, tenderly rubbing my shoulder. “Magnum told me he likes the one I got him too.”

“So Ah heard. You got jerseys for the whole gang, Ah hear. Now that’s the kinda team spirit Ah like to see.”

“You and yer bowlin’ league,” Applejack said, rolling her eyes playfully.

The two Apple siblings then went to go mingle, and I decided to do likewise. Moonlight was talking to Rainbow Dash and Twilight, probably discussing Daring Do, and it was then that I spotted my four fellow Crusaders. They looked as energetic as ever, and when they spotted me, they zipped over to stand before me.

“Hi, Dave!” they chorused.

“Cool hat!” said Dinky.

“Evening, girls. How did ice skating go?”

“Not too badly,” said Sweetie Belle. “I was at least able to keep on my skates.”

“Me too,” said Scootaloo, “but then Apple Bloom tripped us all up and we went straight into the snow.”

“Only cuz Ah was tryin’ to save Dinky from fallin’!” Apple Bloom retorted.

“Nuh-uh!” said Dinky. “I was saving you! You had jelly legs the minute you touched the ice!”

“Did not!”

(Sounds about as successful as my own skating experience.)

“So you four plan on staying awake all night?” I asked.

“Of course!” said Scootaloo. “We’re ready for it!”

“And with the kinda refreshments Pinkie Pie makes for her parties, it’ll be a cinch!” said Apple Bloom.

Now that I got a closer look at them, their eyes were a bit wilder-looking than usual, and their smiles were bigger than normal, perhaps even a little crazed.

(Hmm...Maybe I should stay away from the punch. Who knows how long this diet might have to last after a cup of that.)

“Come on!” said Sweetie Belle. “They’re starting a game of Pin the Tail on the Pony!”

The four fillies scampered off, leaving me to myself again. A game of Pin the Tail on the Pony was indeed in progress, and a blindfolded stallion had already succeeded in pinning it on the pony’s back, making it look like a deformed wing. I remembered when I’d made mine look like half of a mustache.

“Dave! Over here!”

Berry was waving for me to join her at the punch bowl. Well, I couldn’t exactly reject her invitation, so I went up to her.

“How are you doing, Berry?”

“Great! I love parties! Especially when I can provide my own refreshment! Check it out!”

She indicated the row of beverages set out. There was the punch bowl, bottles of fizzy apple cider, grape juice, apple juice, and set apart from the others, labelled under ‘Adults Only’, a row of bottles filled with a sparkling, golden liquid.

“Golden Griffon Wine!” said Berry, proudly. “Just made it yesterday! It’s getting its grand tasting tonight! Wanna sip?”

She wasn’t serious, was she?”

“Er…”

“Ha! Just kidding,” said Berry, nudging my arm. “You’re better off with the softer stuff. Leave the hard stuff to the professionals.”

“Uh, yeah, sure,” I said.

(And you’re as professional a drinker as they come, or I’m very much mistaken.)

“As a matter of fact, I’m feeling a bit parched at the mo. Lemme get ya something too.”

She ladled a cup full of grape juice and handed it off to me, before grabbing one of her Golden Griffon bottles. She poured herself half a glass of this, then gulped it down in one swig. As I sipped my glass, I saw her face go from satisfaction, licking her lips, to a dreamy kind of bliss.

“Hoo, man, that’s the stuff,” she said. “Those griffons grow some sweet grapes, lemme tell ya.”

“Let’s just hope you don’t go overboard on the stuff,” I muttered to myself, draining my glass.


***


It was as wild and fun a party as I had imagined it could be. It was only missing two things that would have made it even better. The first was Vinyl’s music. In its place, Pinkie had hired a troop of ponies who could play the piano, percussion, trumpet, and tuba, setting up silly but lively tunes as a backdrop. The second was Trixie’s magic. I saw that, in its place, Twilight had gathered a group of foals, and was performing feats with her own magic, intercut with what I could only guess was a long-winded lecture on the magic involved. During these bits, I could see the foals’ attention wane into boredom. Spike didn’t look very happy either, and I heard him mutter, “I asked her, I begged her, but does she listen?”

The Crusaders were still running about, whooping and shrieking with laughter. I was on tenterhooks the whole time, and I made ready to dash toward them if they looked like they were close to knocking someone over or breaking something. Luckily, they somehow managed to keep their behavior confined to playing wild games of tag or other such games, weaving in and out of ponies’ legs. Still, it didn’t help that their sisters or parents didn’t seem to be paying much mind to them. I understood that questing for cutie marks was something ponies needed to be left to their own devices for, but what were they trying to accomplish? Cutie Mark Crusaders Sugar Junkies?

Berry wasn’t faring much better by way of behavior, either, although her Golden Griffon wine was receiving praise. Every time I saw her, she was drinking further from a bottle of spirits, and it was only a matter of time before she did something really stupid. Indeed, the first sign of her reaching dangerous levels of inebriation came when a sudden shout rent the party air.

“CALLOOH CALLAY!”

Many heads turned, mine included. Berry was swaying where she was, a pleased, goofy grin on her face. Somehow, she caught sight of me.

“Dave! C’mere! I gotta tell ya something!”

(Oh God.)

Ponies’ eyes fell on me as I made my way up to the refreshment table, wishing I knew how to vanish on the spot. As soon as I approached her, she reared up, threw a foreleg around me and clasped me to her side.

“Ah, Dave, I’m glad you’re here!” she said, mussing my hair under my hat with her other hoof. “We’ve got so much to talk about!”

“Like what?” I asked, warily.

“Anything! Or maybe just nothing at all! Doesn’t matter to me, cuz you’re my buddy, buddy! *Hic!* Whoopsie!”

She giggled. This was getting exceedingly embarrassing, so I tried to pry her off of me as gently as I could.

“Listen, Berry, I don’t want to sound rude, but I think you’re getting a little...you-know-what.”

“Ah, don’t be ridiculous, Dave,” said Berry, waving an airy hoof. “If I was drunk, could I do this?”

Quite suddenly, she began to dance in a wild kind of quick-step, where she teetered and threatened to trip all throughout. Still, she finally stopped and raised her forelegs as if to say ‘Ta-da!’ Several ponies started laughing and cheering, and I heard Rainbow Dash yell,

“I’ll have whatever she’s been drinking!”

“Rainbow Dash!” chided the unmistakable voice of Rarity.

“Berry, for heaven’s sake!” I hissed. “There are children at this party too!”

I might as well have been talking to a wall, for all the good it did. All of a sudden, Berry turned her attention away from me and clambered on top of the table. It didn’t help that this put her rump right in my line of vision, and I quickly stepped to the side.

“Attention, everypony!” she called. “I’d just like to say a few words!”

Everypony’s eyes were on her, some looking amused, others concerned. She cleared her throat, paused, cleared her throat again, paused again. It looked like she didn’t remember whatever drunken thought was swimming in her brain. At last, she let out a loud, squeaky hiccup. There was a brief silence, followed by polite applause and more snickering.

“Thank you!” crowed Berry, undeterred. “And now I’m feelin’ sleepy.”

Then, without warning, and without a change in her expression, she toppled forward off the table and onto her face. There, she promptly began to snore, and ponies returned to the party’s hubbub. As for me, I dragged her to a safe corner out of the way, where she slumbered on, peacefully. Maybe when she woke up, she’d have slept some of that drunkenness off.


***


11 o’clock had just passed, and some ponies were already beginning to show signs of tiredness. The Crusaders were still as energized as ever, but some of the older ponies had started yawning, though they were still chatting it up eagerly. Pinkie seemed to have anticipated this, as the next thing any of us knew, she was standing on a stage set up near her ensemble, waving her forelegs for everypony’s attention.

“Hey, everypony! We’ve only got an hour until New Year’s, and I think it’s time we start shaking our hoove thangs!”

She accompanied this with a silly sway of her pudgy hips, earning some chuckles from the crowd.

“I would call this the Hold-Your-Elbows-Out-Squeeze-Your-Knees-Together-and-Jump-Around Dance, but that’d be crazy, cuz it’s really called the Fun Dance! Partner up, everypony, cuz it takes two to do the Fun Dance!”

Ponies everywhere began to partner up with somepony else. I saw Lyra with Bon Bon (big surprise), Rainbow Dash with Applejack, Rarity with Twilight, and so on. Even Screwball had managed to get a partner in Zecora. I was looking around to see who was gonna partner with me when, all of a sudden, a foreleg looped around my arm, and I saw Moonlight beaming up at me.

“Hello, partner,” I said, genially.

“Hi, partner,” she replied. “Do you have any idea what Pinkie’s planning?”

“Believe me, Moonlight, I never know what goes on in that head of hers.”

“Ok, everypony!” Pinkie went on. “Here’s what you do. First, you hold your elbows out like a chicken. That’s ‘Oh, elbows to your partner’.”

As the band began to play a simple, polka-like accompaniment, Pinkie arched her forelegs in an imitation of chicken’s wings, bobbing along to the tune. We all tried to mimic her, and saw that the trick was to connect elbows with each other. Ok, simple enough.

“Now, back to back, and squeeze your knees together, like this. ‘Your knees against the wall’.”

Pinkie squatted down, jutting her knees out in time with the music, as if she were using a Thighmaster. We all went back to back, attempting the same maneuver. We must have looked so stupid doing this.

“Now straighten back up and link each other’s hooves. ‘If you don’t have fun at Pinkie’s tonight’.”

We all straightened up, some of us having more difficulty than others, and linked hooves, still bobbing in time with the tune. I clasped Moonlight’s hooves in my hands, and she gave me an amused smile.

“This is kinda fun already,” she said.

“Yeah,” I said, “and there’s something familiar about it.”

“And finally,” Pinkie said, “forelegs across each other’s shoulders and hop about. ‘You’ll never have fun at all’.”

All of us did as she asked, clasping each other to each other’s sides and hopping along with the music, as if we were in some kind of drunkard’s dance.

“That’s it!” said Pinkie, cheerfully. “You’ve got it! Now let’s put it all together! Hit it, boys!”

The music started up, and all at once, everypony broke into the chorus Pinkie had been demonstrating during each move of the dance.

“Oh, elbows to your partner
Your knees against the wall
If you don’t have fun at Pinkie’s tonight,
You’ll never have fun at all!”

Everypony cheered, and Pinkie beamed. Then, she waved her hoof at the band again, and they started up the tune anew. Breaking into a jig, she sang,

“Oh, the brave explorer, he was there
His knees began to shake
Because the rope he thought he held
Turned out to be a snake!”

Following this, she signaled to the crowd, who broke into the chorus once more. After that, one by one, ponies took their place on stage to supply their own nonsensical lyrics similar to hers, each one compounded by everyone breaking into the chorus. It was a lot of fun, and Moonlight was practically giddy with laughter. I still felt like I’d heard this kind of song before.


***


I don’t even know how long the singing and dancing lasted, since we eventually moved from the Fun Dance to other silly songs and dances, but a couple things happened at once that drew my attention away from it. The first was seeing Berry awake again, looking drowsy and messy-maned. The second was seeing Pinkie hopping back on stage.

“Hey, everypony! Guess what! It’s almost time!”

The music stopped, and everyone turned their attention to the big clock that had been put up on the wall. It was now 11:59. A round of excited talk started up. Moonlight and I exchanged gleeful looks. It was almost time!

“Count down with me, everypony!” said Pinkie. “10!”

“9!”

“8!”

“7!”

“6!”

“5!”

“4!”

“3!”

“2!”

“1!”

“HAPPY NEW YEAR!!”

There was a loud *boom!* as Pinkie’s party cannon went off somewhere, showering us all with confetti. Moonlight whooped and cheered at my side, flapping her wings so fast they were a blur. All at once, ponies began to sing, and I felt like I knew where this was going. Without even noticing what it was they were singing, I launched into Auld Lang Syne.

It was only after I’d begun singing for about half a minute that I realized I was the only one singing. Looking around, I saw that everypony’s eyes were on me, looking puzzled. With a rush of embarrassment, it became clear to me that Auld Lang Syne was not a traditional pony song.

“A-heh-heh,” I chuckled. “Sorry. Didn’t realize that wasn’t a song you sang here. Very popular back home. Please, carry on. I’ll just be...over here.”

“I liked the part about the pint cup!” came Berry’s voice through the silence.

(Of course you would, Berry.)

I shuffled off in a random direction, and after a moment or two, the song the ponies had been singing started up again. I went to the window and gazed out at the night sky, watching the stars being peppered with the explosions of fireworks. The Crusaders, meanwhile, had accomplished their mission of staying up late, and had now conked out by the refreshment table, before their families kindly moved them to a more comfortable spot where they wouldn’t be tripped on.

(Well, that could have gone better. Way to jump the gun, Dave.)

“Hey, Davie!”

I jumped. Pinkie had bounced up right beside me.

“Oh, hey, Pinkie.”

“What was that song you were singing?”

“Oh, that? It’s called Auld Lang Syne. It’s what we humans sing on New Year’s to celebrate. It’s about the days gone by.”

“Ohh.”

Pinkie settled beside me at the window, gazing out at the fireworks as well.

“I think a lot about the days gone by,” she said.

“You do?”

“Uh-huh. Most of the best parties I throw are all about celebrating the past. And since we’re supposed to think back on the last year, and how fun it was, I was also thinking about you!’ 

“You were?”

“Yep! It seems like only yesterday that you forgot you weren’t a pegasus and tried to nap in the clouds, but now, it’s like you’ve lived in Equestria all your life.”

“Aw, well, I don’t know about that,” I said, mostly because I wasn’t sure if that was her explanation for how I fell from the sky, or if she was joking, “but thanks, Pinkie.”

I turned to look at her, and saw that she was smiling warmly. She nestled herself up closer beside me, and I drew an arm around her. The singing and partying was still going on, but our eyes were on the fireworks outside, our brains abuzz with the fond, vivid memories of my first days in Equestria. Here I was on the threshold of a new year, ready to make it even better than the last!

> Post-New Year's Weekend
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

My cheerfulness at last night’s party had completely evaporated by next morning, when I woke up in bed much later than usual. My head was aching, my eyes itched, my mouth felt stale with morning breath, and my whole body felt like lead. I glanced at my watch, which read 9:45. I was glad, in this instance, that my work at Bon Bon’s was over, because I didn’t think I would be able to uphold service with a smile in my state. I didn’t even drink, either. I felt like I could now properly sympathize with Berry for what she must go through after a night’s drinking.

It felt like an age when I was finally able to wrench myself from bed and immerse myself in a shower, the initially cold water startling me into a more wakeful attitude. Once refreshed, I got dressed, then went out to get the mail. As I read the morning paper over a late breakfast, I wondered what I should do today. The job listings yielded nothing that appealed to my interests today, but I’d be on the lookout. Then again, the way I felt, I didn’t really feel like doing anything. That was the answer, then. Today was just gonna be about relaxing.

First thing’s first, however. I took a few minutes to hang up Zecora’s wind chimes by the front door. A light breeze blew past it, making a woody clinking noise not altogether unpleasant to the ears. With that done, I went to my new phonograph, put on Octavia’s record of classical pieces, then lay myself on my bed, completely immersed in a lethargic ‘do nothing today’ attitude. Well, beyond eating and going to the bathroom, but that was beside the point.


***


By next morning, I felt much more refreshed, much less lazy. I decided I might as well get a start on this New Year’s resolution by eating a healthy breakfast, so I whipped up some oatmeal and toast. Now, I wasn’t too worried about this whole diet thing. It wasn’t like I’d be living on nothing but carrot sticks and celery stalks. Dieting wasn’t just eating healthier; it was also properly portioning your meals and avoiding snacking. Technically, one could eat whatever they wanted, but in moderation. At least, that was how Weight Watchers had done it, back home.

Once that was done, I figured it was about time I got started on the new sign for the Brimstone Lounge. Sparkler had already approved of the prototype, and they were getting started on construction of the building already, I imagined, so I had to get a move on. I still had some paint left, but I’d need wood for the sign itself. There was a chance the lumber the Crusaders and I used to build the Rainbow Avenger might have some leftovers, but that might not be good enough. This sign deserved new, quality wood, so it was time for another trip to the hardware store. Once geared up, I headed out.


***


Finding the lumber at the store was easy enough, paying for it put a bit of a dent in my bag of bits, but bringing it home was another matter. It was unpleasantly cumbersome. Tucking it under one arm was the best way I could do it, but I had to continually pause to readjust my grip on it. Keeping it jammed against my armpit was making me ache as well, and my arm was sore from keeping it held in such a position for so long. I must have been an embarrassing sight to witness as I walked through Ponyville with a big plank of wood clasped to my side, but I had to troop on.

“This a new exercise tactic?”

I knew that voice. Glancing to my right, I saw Lyra trotting beside me. She was wearing a black sweatshirt that fit rather snugly over her pudgy body. She seemed to have retained her renewed optimism for the diet; she was perfectly cheery, like her usual self.

“Hey there, Lyra,” I greeted. “No, it isn’t. I just need to carry this home for a project I’m doing.”

“All the way back home?” Lyra asked, aghast. “Do you want help? I could lend ya a horn.”

Her horn glowed, and I felt the plank of wood yank itself out from under my arm, floating until it hovered above us, like a weird, flat umbrella. Lyra beamed at me, and I ruffled her mane appreciatively.

“Thanks, Lyra. So, how are you doing?”

“Pretty good. Bonnie and I were exhausted yesterday, so we just relaxed around the house.”

“What a coincidence,” I said. “I did the same.”

“Great minds think alike, my friend,” said Lyra. 

“So, you’re still on board about this new diet regime?”

“Yeah. I thought about what Bonnie said, and she’s right. I ought to get back into shape, before something worse than a busted chair happens. Besides, some of my favorite pants are starting to get tight on me. Just be ready if Bonnie comes by, banging on your door to drag you along on a jog.”

“Duly noted,” I said, grinning.

We walked on in silence at first, but after a few minutes of this, I decided to break the quiet with a question I’d been mulling on.

“Lyra?”

“Mm?”

“Bon Bon said you had started putting on weight ever since coming back from ‘boarding school’. What did she mean by that?”

“Oh, that? She means after I graduated from Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns.”

“You were a student there?” I asked, impressed.

“Sure. It’s how I met Twilight. Well, how I knew she lived in Canterlot. She was always busy with her own studies, so we never talked.”

“Yeah, I remember hearing that when we had the Q&A. I’ve heard it’s pretty prestigious.”

“Oh? Looking to take a class? Somehow, I don’t think you’ve met the minimum requirements,” teased Lyra.

“Haha,” I chuckled, “I was just curious what standards a unicorn gets judged by.”

“If they’re exceptionally talented in a particular field,” said Lyra. “It might seem that way, but it’s not all for magic, you know. The thing is, when I was a filly, I thought I wanted to be an anthropologist and study humans. I had done enough research that they ended up letting me in based on my level of study. Unfortunately, there aren’t many ponies today who go into that sort of thing, humans being little better than a myth. Until you came along, of course,” she added, giving me a playful nudge. 

“Flatterer,” I quipped.

“I was in the history department, and one day I found some old music in one of my research books. I just had to give it a try, and lo and behold, playing the lyre was my one true calling, so I settled on music instead.”

“That and eating sweets daily,” I added.

“Of course,” said Lyra. Bonnie said she was considering making nutritional candies. I told her they probably wouldn’t work all that well, but between that or taking me off taste-tester duties, I’ll take veggie sweets any day. Nopony is going to do my job but me!”

“That’s the spirit,” I said.

“She also wants me to get out more, says I spend most of my time cooped up in the shop or the apartment. It’s not like I don’t participate when there’s a big event, though. Ask anypony, and they’ll tell you I’ve got perfect attendance when something’s going down.”

“Sounds like the kinda thing Pinkie would say,” I said. “You two do kinda have a lot in common: fun-loving candy munchers who like making their friends smile. I’m lucky to have such good friends.”

Lyra smiled warmly and nestled herself against my side.

“Thanks, man,” she said. “I can easily say the same about you and Bonnie.”

From there, the rest of the walk was made in silence, the plank of wood still hovering obediently over our heads.


***


Once I’d gotten home, I’d taken the bulk of the next hour or so to paint the initial coat on the new plank of wood. I’d put a pile of old newspaper sheets on the floor beneath it so as not to ruin the hardwood, and was using careful, measured strokes, taking my time with each application. This was to be the final product, so it had to look right, even if it meant taking more time than I would have been comfortable with on any other project similar to this. I was beginning to sympathize with Tom Sawyer when he had to whitewash a whole fence, but he had been lucky enough to have a neighborhood of unsuspecting suckers to con into doing it for him, while I was left to my own honest devices.

Once I had completely coated it in white paint, I let it sit and dry while I grabbed some lunch, with some help from the cookbook Fluttershy had gotten me. If only I had a way of calculating points like I did during my brief time with Weight Watchers, then I’d know if I was getting my daily 45. Well, I did what I could, and by the time I was done, the paint still hadn’t dried completely, so I decided to practice on the piano for tomorrow. Needless to say, I was still dreadful playing by ear. Hopefully by tomorrow, I’d learn a thing or two about playing by sheet music.

I was just finishing my poor performance when someone knocked on the door. Opening it up, I found Moonlight, grinning up at me.

“Hey there, Moonlight,” I said. “What’s up?”

“Hey, Dave! I just wanted to see if you wanted to come over. Twilight let me borrow her projector, and you know what that means!”

“I do?” 

I thought for a moment, and then it hit me.

“Oh! The Daring Do movie! Yeah, I’d love to watch it with you! I’ve got nothing to do while the paint dries.”

“Great! Come on, then!”

Once I’d suited up and locked up the house, Moonlight and I headed to her house together. It’d been a while since I’d been in it, since Moonlight usually came to me when we had our Daring Do readings, so I was still very much impressed by the spic and span decor as I stepped in. The floor was smooth and shiny, the furniture freshly vacuumed, and a flowery smell about the place that could very well be from air fresheners.

“Wow, Moonlight, you really put a lot of effort into keeping this place spotless.”

“Thanks,” said Moonlight. “I dunno what it is, I just really prefer having a clean home, in case I have company.”

“Er, have you had much company?” I asked, feeling guilty that I hadn’t visited her as much as she had visited me.

“Oh, sure! Rainbow Dash, Twilight, Lyra, Pinkie Pie. Of course, it means keeping a tidy house nearly 24/7. And before you start blaming yourself,” she added, knowingly, giving my arm a nudge with her foreleg, “I’m not mad at you for not coming by so often. If anything, I’m the one always dropping in on you.”

“Well, I’m not sorry for that,” I said, grinning. “I like having you visit.”

Moonlight smiled.

“Well, make yourself comfy,” she said, “and I’ll get the movie set up.”

The furniture was so pristine that I almost felt bad sitting down on the couch and ruining the perfect shape of the cushions, but I did as she bade, while she rolled out an old-fashioned film projector, the Daring Do movie reel already put in place, and set it up to face the opposite wall, which was blank and unadorned, making for a suitable makeshift screen. She turned off the lights, turned the projector on, then settled onto the couch right beside me. With a gentle whirring and clicking, the reels began to turn, and the projection beam flashed on against the wall, showing a title card that reminded me of MGM Studios, but featuring a bat-winged manticore instead of a lion. Soon after, we were immersed in a pulse-pounding soundtrack as the opening credits appeared, our eyes glued to the projection.


***


Nearly 2 hours later, the projector ran to the end of its reel and turned off. Moonlight and I, however, remained where we were, as if it were still going. That had to have been one of the greatest action-adventure movies I had ever seen! It had adapted both The Basilisk’s Eye and The Quest for the Sapphire Statue, and to see those hair-raising exploits put to film was phenomenal! The effects were top-notch, the acting was superb (they had even managed to find a way to incorporate Ahuizotl without having Ahuizotl himself, possibly in the same way they had done Jabba the Hutt in Return of the Jedi back home), and it even had some witty moments that made me chuckle.

“That...was...amazing!” said Moonlight, finally.

“You can say that again,” I said. “It’s awesome to see a faithful adaptation when I’ve seen plenty that miss critical elements of the original.”

“Thanks so much for getting me this movie,” said Moonlight, nuzzling my cheek. “I love it even more now that I’ve seen it.”

“No problem, pal of mine,” I said, giving her a squeeze with one arm. “I’m glad I found it for you.”

“I wish I’d remember to make some popcorn, but I was so absorbed by it.”

“Ah, it doesn’t matter. I’m on a diet, anyway.”

Moonlight looked at me, as if unsure she’d heard right. She looked me over, obviously dubious that I even needed to be on a diet.

“I’m serious,” I said. “I’ve been feeling kinda heavy lately, especially after the holidays. It’s one of the most common times of the year to pack on the pounds. I know I don’t look it, but I don’t want it to get worse, either.” 

Moonlight raised a hoof and prodded it against my stomach. She giggled.

“You are kinda soft,” she said. “No wonder you give such good hugs.”

“Oh, stop it, you,” I joked, giving her a one-handed tickle that set her laughing. “You know you can get away with it cuz you’re in better shape.”

Moonlight stuck her tongue out at me teasingly, her hooves curled above her slender belly.

“Besides,I’m not alone. Lyra and Bon Bon are joining me.”

“Oh,” said Moonlight. “Well, good to you all then. I’ll be cheering you on.”

“Thanks! I’ll try to come over more often, so you can see my progress. How’s that sound?”

Moonlight smiled, which was all the answer I needed.


***


By the time I had gotten home, the sign’s paint hadn’t yet dried so I had to wait a bit longer for that. Even then, it was going to need a more finished look before I could even move on to the lettering. It was going to take longer than just one day to complete, so I resolved to wait until the evening, if the paint was sufficiently dried by then, to apply the next coat. With how much it would take to make it look perfect, I felt like one of the Renaissance masters, if any of them had ever been commissioned to paint an ‘Eat at Joe’s’ sign.

I could at least show Minister Ironmane my concepts for the sign tomorrow and see how he liked them, then, if the final product was finished in time by the next Sunday, show him and Sparkler both. I doubted it would take that long, but it would kill two birds with one stone, or as Pinkie would probably say, ‘catch a bird in the hoof and stone two in the bush’.


***


The next day, right on schedule, somepony knocked at the door. I figured it must be Ironmane, so I went to answer. Sure enough, there he was, as stiff and upright as ever, though not as tired-looking as he was before we decided upon the restaurant idea.

“Hello, Minister,” I said.

“Greetings, David. I hope you had a pleasant New Year.”

“I did, sir, thank you. How was the concert?”

“Spectacular,” said Ironmane, with a slight smile. “Miss Octavia’s ensemble is unparalleled. Of course, the night couldn’t be without its own brand of lunacy. Some wild-maned harlequin with obnoxious sunglasses continually cheered the ensemble on as if it had been a rock concert. Most uncivilized.”

He gave a contemptuous snort, and I had to stifle a grin, as I knew that could only have been one pony: Vinyl.

“I had just come from Miss Hooves’ to give her an update on the construction of the Brimstone Lounge,” he went on.

Hearing him mention it reminded me of the sign I was making, as well as the concepts I’d drawn up for it.

“Could you excuse me a moment, sir?” I asked. “I just want to fetch something real quick.”

Ironmane raised an eyebrow, but said nothing, so I went back inside, grabbed my concepts paper, and brought it over to him.

“These are just some concepts for a sign I’m making for the Brimstone Lounge, with a slogan a friend of mine allowed me to use. I thought you’d like to see it.”

I held out the paper for him to see, then waited for his reaction. He stared at it for a moment or two, then raised his eyebrow again, in an intrigued way.

“Admirable,” he said. “Simple, yet, in a way, charming. You say a friend of yours came up with this slogan?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Very good. It should add a nice touch to the Brimstone Lounge when construction is complete, and once our unicorn specialists properly fireproof it.”

“How’s construction coming along?”

“Slowly, due to the weather, but we hope to encourage our foremen to work alongside the dragons, so that we can not only speed it up, but also have their input on the aesthetics and scale. Brutus is managing the dragon-pony relations on that front as we speak. Generously compensated for, of course.”

It was my turn to raise an eyebrow.

“Is he still trying to maintain it’s just for the money?” I asked.

“He’d like us to believe that,” said Ironmane, a hint of shrewdness in his tone, “but Princess Celestia believes in his better nature, and, even if it contradicts my own, I believe in her judgement. I suspect he’s coming to appreciate what ponies have to offer. Astounding what you can discover when you put aside misgivings about someone you hardly know.”

Ironmane paused, looking as though an idea had just struck him. For a second or two, he was wearing an expression I didn’t think I’d ever see on him. It looked like he was...troubled about something. However, he seemed to pull himself back into his usual attitude, and he briskly cleared his throat.

“*Ahem!* Yes, well, in any case, David, your weekly dues, and a little something extra.”

The ‘something extra’ turned out to be a thick envelope that he floated to me, along with my bag of bits.

(Oh, goody, more homework...)

“A new assignment, as I promised before New Year’s,” said Ironmane. “You’ll find a list of the creatures that roam Equestria in that envelope. As I have outlined the last time I visited, it will be your job to research and detail their histories in relation to Equestrian events, where applicable, attributes, habitats, dietary habits, and behaviors. I should like it delivered to me within the week. Am I clear?”

“As glass, Minister,” I said, not daring to betray resentment in front of him.

“Good. Until we meet again, David.”

“Have a good week, Minister.”

In his usual fashion, Ironmane turned sharply around and strode off, cape billowing in the wind. Setting the assignment envelope and bag of bits inside, I took up my concepts again and made for the Hooves house, deciding to give her an update of my own. I knocked on the door, but as I waited for somepony to answer, I could hear something coming from inside. It was a continuous, sustained sound, like the droning of insects, though there was no way it could be, since it was winter.

At last, the door opened, and the sound became louder. Sparkler poked her head out, her expression brightening upon seeing me.

“Hello, Dave!” she said. “How are you?”

“Pretty good, Sparkler. You?”

“Oh, not bad. I was just visited by Minister Ironmane, telling me how everything’s progressing with the Brimstone Lounge project.”

“Funny thing: he just visited me to do the same, among other things,” I said. “I then thought to drop by and let you know I’ve gotten a start on the sign. It’ll take a bit more time to make sure it looks nice, but it’s progress all the same.”

“Great!” said Sparkler, beaming. “Dave, I can’t thank you enough for doing this, really.”

“It’s no trouble, Sparkler,” I said. “I just hope the dragons appreciate it as much as you and Ironmane do.”

“I’m sure they will.”

In the brief silence that followed, I was once more made aware of the noise coming from inside.

“What’s going on in there?” I asked.

“Oh, that,” said Sparkler, with a roll of the eyes. “Dinky and Scootaloo came down with a case of ‘End of Vacation Blues’. They go back to school tomorrow, and they’ve been moaning about it all morning. It’s bound to get worse by tonight.”

“Ahh, I see,” I said. “I know the feeling all too well. Well, tell them and your mom I said hi.”

“Will do,” said Sparkler, smiling again. “Take care, Dave.”

“You too.”

Sparkler closed the door, and I headed, not for home, but for Ponyville. Yes, Ironmane had given me an assignment, but I had piano lessons to attend first. Being a music lover himself, he ought to have understood.


***


“You’re getting better, Dave.”

“You’re being too nice, Bon Bon, really.”

“No, no, Bonnie’s right. You’re definitely improving. It’s at least sounding like something now.”

“Lyra!”

“I’m kidding, Bonnie, I’m kidding!”

The first half of today’s lesson was devoted to a crash course on reading sheet music by both Bon Bon and Lyra. Even knowing that, it was still a chore to remember which key was where, then translating that information to note placement on the sheets. Still, even I had to admit that it was making my playing sound a bit more coherent. It still sounded clunky and awkward, but I was getting closer.

“So how are things at home, Dave?” Bon Bon asked, when I was taking a break.

“Not too bad. I’m working on a project for Sparkler, and have a new one from Ironmane waiting for me. If you mean the diet, I’ve been getting tips from the cookbook Fluttershy got me for Hearth’s Warming, from Chef Bon Appetit.”

“Ah, what a coincidence!” said Bon Bon, sounding delighted. “I follow Bon Appetit’s recipes all the time!”

“For the healthy stuff and the sweet stuff,” said Lyra, earning her a reproachful look from Bon Bon.

“Have you girls got a weight goal set?” I asked. “I just want to drop at least 10, maybe 15 pounds this winter.”

“Actually, we do,” said Bon Bon. “10 pounds by Winter Wrap-Up. Perfectly doable.”

“Mm-hmm,” said Lyra, nodding.

“Winter Wrap-Up? I remember hearing that name before, but what is it?”

“A yearly event in Ponyville,” said Lyra. “In the beginning of March, we clear away all the snow, bring back the southern birds, wake up the hibernating animals, melt the ice, and replant the crops and flowers. In short, we bring in spring.”

She said this in a completely casual tone, as though she were talking on the telephone. Now, I had been baffled when they first told me that autumn came about by the ponies racing past trees and bringing the autumn leaves down. Bringing in spring manually, basically doing everything nature did naturally back home, was even more mind-blowing!

“And all without magic,” added Bon Bon. “It’s tradition.”

All I could honestly say was,

“Oh.”

“Don’t worry, big guy,” said Lyra, clapping my on the back. “We’ll find you something to do when Winter Wrap-Up comes along. Just leave it to Twilight, our All-Team Organizer.”

This information did help to drag me out of my amazement.

“Heh. Sounds like exactly the sort of thing she’d be,” I said.

“You alright?” asked Bon Bon.

“Yeah. I’m just...a little staggered that ponies do everything to manage the weather and seasons in this land. I barely shovel my own driveway back home.”

“Wish we could do that here,” said Lyra, stretching her forelegs over her head. “It’d save us all a lot of work.”

“Yes, because your day-to-day routine is just as exhausting as those of the pegasi,” said Bon Bon, dryly.

“I can’t help it,” said Lyra. “They have more muscles than I do.”

“Well, they certainly use more muscles than you do, at any rate,” said Bon Bon.

Not wanting the argument to escalate, I went back to my piano practice, and all further snarky comments were directed at me. Oh, goody.


***


Before dinner, I leafed through the list of creatures Ironmane gave me. Some I recognized on sight, like ‘manticore’, ‘cockatrice’, and ‘timberwolf’, but there were also some I’d only heard of because of hearing their names from friends, like ‘parasprite’ or ‘changeling’, and others I had never even heard of back at home, like ‘cragadile’, ‘Breezie’ or ‘tatzlwurm’. I didn’t feel like badgering Twilight at this hour, so I decided to grab the Equestrian history book the princesses had given me and leaf through it for historical references to take notes on. This meant flipping back and forth from the index to the rest of the book: a tedious but necessary evil.

As it turned out, nearly all of these creatures had factored into some great event in Equestrian history. Invasions of timberwolves had happened more than once, but were thankfully subdued, such as when the minotaurs drove a pack of them into a maze. Parasprites had also been the cause of famine too often for comfort, since they apparently ate everything edible in sight and multiplied like mad. There were also accounts of dangerous beasts going on the rampage, like manticores and chimeras, some of them only having been stopped by intervention from Princess Celestia.

Not all of it was bad, however. The orthros, for example, was regarded as the first creature native only to Equestria to be exported to countries across the sea, where they were kept as faithful pets and guard dogs. Migrations of the Breezies were also mentioned, as the towns they passed through needed to keep a breeze going for them to keep the magic protecting their pollen intact. There were also accounts of the initially-bad arrival of ‘vampire fruit bats’, but which ended up for the best, as the seeds they spit out after draining fruit grew into even healthier, more productive fruit trees. 

I was still somewhat baffled by the accounts of some of these creatures, since I didn’t have a firm grasp on what they were. Well, that was for another day. For now, I’d gotten what I needed out of this book, and was exhausted and starving after sitting hunched over a book, writing myself into a cramp. This was why I preferred typing to writing, but how did typewriters in Equestria work when you only had hooves to work with?

I got up to make some dinner, when there came a knock at the door. This time, however, it was a decidedly unusual knock. Each one sounded like the squeaking of a rubber ducky. Was someone seriously knocking a rubber ducky against my door? Puzzled, I opened it up to find Screwball standing there, dressed in a parka that was a psychedelic, practically eye-watering mishmash of colors.

“Screwball!” I said. “This is a pleasant surprise. How are you?”

Screwball smiled and wagged her messy tail.

“Would you like to come in? I was just about to make dinner. I’d be happy if you could join me.”

She nodded, then stepped inside. As I closed the door, she began taking in her surroundings. By that, I mean she twisted her head around on her neck as if she were an owl, gazing about with interest at my humble abode. Honestly, anything she didn’t shouldn’t have surprised me at this point. She’d already demonstrated unusual bowling skills and other bizarre abilities.

“It’s not much,” I said, “but it’s home. Make yourself comfortable, and I’ll get something started.”

Screwball removed her parka and gave it a casual toss, whereupon it landed, neatly folded into an origami crane of its own accord, on the armchair, while she plunked her hindquarters down on the sofa. Impressive, I had to admit. I went to busy myself in the kitchen, using my new cookbook as a guide. I’d found a great recipe for low-fat homemade macaroni and cheese that still kept a delightfully cheesy flavor. I just hoped Screwball liked it.

About 15 minutes later, I returned with two hot bowls of mac and cheese. Screwball perked up at the smell, running her tongue across her lips in anticipation.

“Hope you like it,” I said, handing her a bowl and spoon. “It’s from Chef Bon Appetit’s cookbook.”

Screwball looked pleased, then began gulping it down, regardless of its heat.

(Sheesh, you and Vinyl both share the same flameproof mouth.)

We ate in relative silence, Screwball finishing her bowl faster than I did, and even politely, if silently, requesting a second helping, which I gladly got her. Once we were both finished, the two of us sat together on the couch, Screwball resting a hoof on her full, contented stomach.

“I’m really glad you decided to drop by, Screwball,” I said. “I’ve been meaning to invite you, but one thing kept leading to another. I just hope I haven’t disappointed you by making you wait this long.”

Screwball shook her head and patted my arm in a reassuring way.

“Good. I hate letting people, or ponies, down, and I’m glad you understand. So, did you have fun at the New Year’s party? I saw you partnering Zecora during Pinkie’s Fun Dance.”

Screwball nodded, actually letting out an audible giggle, though it did sound like it came from a 50-year-old man.

“Yeah, it was a great night,” I said. “But Tuesday’s gonna be great, too, because it’s our bowling night, and my first one with my new bowling ball.”

Screwball smiled toothily, wagging her tail.

“Of course, I doubt I’m gonna surpass you,” I said, teasingly. “You’re unstoppable.”

Screwball’s smile turned into a bashful one, and she waved a hoof as if to say ‘Aw, shucks’.

“Just figured I’d ask, but do you have any tips?”

Screwball tapped her chin in contemplative thought, then shook her head with a small shrug.

“Ah, well,” I said. “Just comes naturally to you, huh?”

Screwball smiled slightly and pointed to her cutie mark. 

“Oh?” I asked. “Is that what your talent is? Being able to do the unpredictable, without needing magic?”

Screwball gave me a look and shrug that seemed to say ‘That’s one way of putting it’.

“Well, I think it’s a great talent to have,” I said. “You’re something special, Screwball.”

She looked up at me, at the earnest smile on my face, then smiled back and wrapped her hooves around me in a tight hug, nuzzling her cheek against mine, which made a sound akin to someone rubbing a balloon. I returned the hug, and as I released her, as though she had just come to a sudden realization, she hopped to her hooves and picked up her parka, which unfolded out of its origami state.

“Oh, you need to head home?” I asked. “All right, then. Thanks for coming by, Screwball, and don’t be shy about visiting in the future.”

She nodded her understanding, and I walked her to the door.

“Good night,” I said, opening it up for her.

“Good night.”

...She just spoke. Again!

Smiling as if nothing at all had just happened, she trotted away through the snow, while I watched her off, still bemused. She was a very, very odd pony, but she was still a good friend just the way she was.

> A Very Full Monday
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

*Knock-knock-knock*

Oh, for Pete’s sake...How many times was I gonna wake to ponies knocking at my door?

Wrenching myself out of bed and putting on my glasses, I stumped to the door and opened it up. A blast of cold air met me, as did the beaming face of Bon Bon, wearing a sweater and pants the same colors as the candies of her cutie mark. Standing behind her was Lyra, wearing her black hoodie and her own pair of track pants. The sun was just peeking up over the horizon.

“Good morning!” chirped Bon Bon, sunnily.

“Is it even morning?” I asked, sleepily. “Bon Bon, do you have any idea what time it is?”

“6:30 AM,” said Bon Bon, “the perfect time for a morning jog! Come on, Dave, put some gear on and let’s go!”

So this was what Lyra had been warning me about.

“All right, all right,” I muttered. “Just give me a few minutes, ok?”

“Sure, no problem!” said Bon Bon.

I closed the door (perhaps once I woke up some more, I’d worry about having possibly slammed it in her face) and went to get dressed. I just changed into some pants, a shirt, and my coat. I’d take a shower when I get back, since I didn’t want to keep them waiting that long. Once I was geared up, I joined my former boss and coworker outside, locking the door behind me.

“See?” asked Lyra. “What’d I tell ya?”

“Oh, hush,” said Bon Bon. “It’s best to do this sort of thing first thing in the morning, before you get distracted by the day’s events. Diet and exercise are all about initiative and self-discipline. By deviating even slightly from your plans-”

“Yeah, yeah, skip the speech and let’s get going,” interrupted Lyra. “My flank’s freezing.”

(And yet you’re wearing track pants. What have you got to complain about?)

“All right, you two, let’s get moving,” said Bon Bon. “Hup-two!”

With that, the candy-making mare started off at a brisk trot, Lyra right behind, and me taking up the rear.


***


I don’t care what Bon Bon said: 6:30 in the morning was way too early to be doing this kind of thing. I was more of an evening walk guy, especially if there was a cooling breeze. This trek around the countryside, bundled up as I was, was not my idea of fun. This was what Calvin’s dad would say ‘built character’, no matter how much everyone else was suffering. I still couldn’t believe ponies could stand to be out in this kind of weather with only their upper bodies covered, as I’d often seen around Ponyville. Technically, equines didn’t normally wear clothes, but if you’re going to dress yourself, why not go all the way? A silly image ran through my head, concerning myself running around in the dead of winter with nothing but a hat and scarf on. I shuddered, both at the cold feeling that brought, and the mental scars that would cause my neighbors.

Maybe I was thinking about this too deeply. That was all I had as I trooped behind Bon Bon and Lyra. I didn’t have my iPod, so I had no music to keep me occupied or stimulate my imagination. My only resource was the running, random commentary in my brain, brought on by my tiredness and the cold. I was so tired and drowned in my own thoughts that I didn’t even hear most of what Lyra and Bon Bon were talking about amongst themselves. All I could catch was something about the vegetarian candies Bon Bon was developing, which she was eager to proceed with, as it was not just a healthy alternative for Lyra, but an ambitious new project as well.

At last, after what felt like an hour, we came within sight of my house again. I was tired, hungry, freezing, and my legs felt like jelly with lead for feet. Lyra was a bit out of breath, but Bon Bon was all smiles. As we approached, I could see someone at the mailbox. It was Scootaloo, putting in the morning paper to keep it out of the snow. She wasn’t using her scooter, which made sense, since it probably wouldn’t have made it far in the snow, but I wondered how much more effort she had to put into carrying her satchel of papers via wing power alone.

“Morning, Scoot!” I called, as best I could with how tired I was.

Scootaloo turned and waved at us, though there was something half-hearted about the gesture, and she didn’t call back. She just closed the mailbox back up, flapped her wings, and moved on.

“What’s eating her?” Lyra asked.

“School starting back up,” I said. “She and Dinky were suffering from ‘End-of-Vacation Blues’ yesterday.”

“Ah,” said Lyra, comprehending. “I know how that felt, trust me.”

“And feels,” cut in Bon Bon. “Even today, it’s all I can do to drag your rump out of bed in the morning. How you managed at boarding school is beyond me.”

Lyra just rolled her eyes at this, and we finally stopped outside my house.

“Now wasn’t that fun?” Bon Bon asked, brightly.

“Whatever you say, Bon Bon,” I muttered.

“Oh, buck up,” she said. “The first day’s always the toughest. You’ll get into the swing of it soon. How about you, Lyra? You feel ok?”

“A little winded, but not too bad,” said Lyra.

“That’s the spirit,” said Bon Bon, proudly, before turning back to me. “Well, Dave, I’ve going to be busy with brainstorming and testing all day, so we’d better get going. See you soon!”

“Have a good one, ladies,” I said.

The two mares trotted off through the snow. I grabbed the morning paper, reentered the welcoming warmth of my house, and stumbled into the kitchen to get some breakfast started. Might as well as long as I was up. After that, I’d probably go to the library and ask for Twilight’s help in my latest assignment. I just hoped she wasn’t too busy. With how long it took to perfect my last work, I wasn’t sure how long this would take me, so an early start would probably be the best option.


***


It took me a while to finally will myself to head out, as my legs still felt weak and stiff from the morning walk. It didn’t help that I also took time to apply a second coat of paint to the sign. At last, however, just like last time, I bundled up the notes I had taken and headed out, making for the library. I was just nearing it when the door burst open, and a cyan streak came pelting toward me.

“WHOO-HOO!” crowed a familiar voice.

*WHAM!*

Rainbow Dash collided right into me, knocking me off my feet and sending my papers flying. As stars danced in front of my eyes (imagine, seeing stars in broad daylight), I caught sight of them fluttering away. Rainbow, rubbing her head in pain, caught sight of them as well, and seemed to guess what had happened.

“I got ‘em!” she said, and she took off before I could move a muscle.

As I watched, she scooped up the papers in her forelegs, flew down, and handed them back to me. I didn’t even know if the apologetic look she was giving me was for ramming into me, or for the haphazard way she’d put my notes back together. I said nothing as I rearranged them into a more uniform stack.

“Sorry,” she said. “Didn’t mean to bowl you over like that.”

“It’s all right,” I said. “No harm done. So, what’s got you so excited.”

“Couple things, actually,” said Rainbow. “I just got finished reading the first book in a new Daring Do saga!”’

“A new saga?” I asked, intrigued. “About what?”

“You’ll have to see for yourself,” said Rainbow, teasingly. “The second thing is that tomorrow’s weather is gonna be crystal clear: no snowfalls in Ponyville or anything, so, since I’ve got the day off, I’m gonna head over to Cloudsdale! You should totally come and be my travel buddy!”

On the one hand, I thought it would be great to finally be able to see the pegasus city of Cloudsdale, especially since Rainbow had been itching to show it to me for a long time. On the other hand, when I thought about getting there, everything seemed to turn sideways.

“Er, Rainbow,” I began, but she interrupted me.

“Don’t worry about a thing,” she said, airily. “I already talked about it with Twi, and she’ll give ya the skinny. You’re going to see her, right?”

“Well, yeah,” I said. “For some help on an assignment for my job, but I-”

“Blech,” said Rainbow, sticking her tongue out and cutting me off again. “Egghead stuff. Well, you have ‘fun’ with that. I’ll catch ya tomorrow. Betcha can’t wait!”

“But-”

And with that, Rainbow zoomed off into the sky, nearly blowing my notes out of my arms again. I watched her slowly disappear into the clouds, the jet-plane roar of her passing fading gradually as she went out of sight. Well, now I had even more reason to see Twilight: sorting this Cloudsdale matter out. I marched straight up to the library and knocked on the door.

“It’s open!” came Twilight’s voice.

Upon entering, I found myself bathed in a heavenly warmth, refreshing after the cold outside. Two armchairs were pulled up to the fireplace, one bearing Twilight, the other Spike. Twilight was wrapped up in a thick blanket, making her look like she was wearing a cloak, and had a book set across her lap. Spike, on the other hand, was wearing a velvet-red smoking jacket and a fez. I had to hand it to his taste in clothing, because fezzes were cool, but the posh effect was slightly ruined by the fact that he was reading a comic book instead of a novel.

“Hello, Dave!” said Twilight. “What brings you here?”

“One thing, originally,” I said, “but now, a few things.”

Twilight raised a quizzical eyebrow, but I waited until after I’d taken my winter gear off, hung it up, and then marched over to her, my notes under my arm.

“First of all, a little blue-and-rainbow birdie told me you’ve conspired to send me up to Cloudsdale tomorrow.”

“Conspired?” Twilight asked. “That’s a bit of a strong word, isn’t it? We thought you’d be happy to have the opportunity.”

“Oh, don’t get me wrong,” I said, “I do want to see Cloudsdale, but there’s just one problem. ...I’m afraid of heights.”

“Right,” said Twilight, knowledgeably. “You mentioned as much before our big Q&A.”

“But knowing that, you still intend to go through with this?” I asked, unable to keep a note of indignation out of my voice.

“Just relax, Dave,” said Twilight, calmly. “It’s not like I’m going to grant you wings or make you as light as a soap bubble. You wouldn’t have proper control over it, no offense.”

“None taken,” I said, not desiring to contradict something I really had no idea about.

For some odd reason, when Twilight said ‘grant you wings’, I had a fleeting image of her with big, feathery purple wings. It was just a silly idea, though. Twilight with wings? If that ever happened, I’d have seen everything.

“We’ll send you up in the hot air balloon,” said Twilight. “I’ll pilot it, cast a cloud-walking spell on you, then let Rainbow Dash walk you around. Simple, right?”

“Er, I don’t know,” I murmured, not exactly comfortable with the idea of riding in a hot air balloon, before another thought interrupted that. “Wait, cloud-walking spell? Isn’t that one of the spells you were making into a potion?”

“That’s right,” said Twilight, proudly. “I’ve been working steadily at my Spell-born Potions in my spare time, but they’re still not quite right. I really ought to have a chat with Zecora for some tips.”

“How long does this spell last?” I asked.

“24 hours,” said Twilight, “plenty of time to walk around Cloudsdale and have you back for bowling.”

“Oh, you know about that?” I asked.

“Of course. Applejack’s told me how much Big Macintosh enjoys having you on his team.”

“Ah, well,” I said, modestly, “that was nice of him to think so. Still, are you sure about a hot air balloon?”

“Absolutely,” said Twilight, “and I’ll be there with you. You’ll be perfectly safe.”

Coupled with her kind smile, it was difficult not to trust her. As apprehensive as I was about this idea, Twilight’s reassurance did make me feel better about it. I might not like it, but I had to at least tough it out, seeing as it was my chance to see Cloudsdale.

“Besides, Rainbow Dash is a great catch!” she said, pride beaming from her smile.

I blanched. (Change the subject! Change the subject!)

“So, what else did you want to talk to me about?”

(Thank God.)

“W-Well,” I said, trying to maintain a calm tone, “the other thing was that Rainbow also mentioned the start of a new story arc in Daring Do.”

“That’s right!” said Twilight, happily. “Daring Do and the Stone of Light. It kicks off what’s currently an ongoing saga: adventures in the Tenochtitlan Basin.”

“Ooh!” I said, intrigued. “I’ll have to give it a look once this is done.”

I held up my notes.

“What’s that?” Twilight asked.

“The main reason I came to see you,” I said, apologetically. “Iron- er, Minister Ironmane wants me to write about the wild creatures of Equestria, about their habitats, behaviors, eating patterns, and how they’ve impacted Equestrian history. Well, I’ve made some notes of the history aspect, but I still need the other info, and maybe some supplementary information. Do you think you can help me again, since the last one you helped me on went over well?”

Twilight’s face immediately broke into an eager smile.

“I’d be more than happy to help,” she said. “Let’s go get ourselves set up.”

With the blanket still wrapped around her, Twilight got up, then used her magic to make it more snug about her (and probably to keep herself from tripping on it).

“Spike, I need you to grab a few books for me. ...Spike?”

Spike didn’t answer. His eyes were still glued to the comic book in his claws, his expression unchanging. Twilight rolled her own eyes.

“Spike!” she said, louder.

With a small yelp, Spike started, wrenching his eyes away from the comic to blink up at us.

“Oh!” he said. “Hi, Dave. When did you get here?”

“Not too long ago,” I said.

“Spike, Dave and I have some work to do,” said Twilight. “Can you grab me Fantastic Flora and Fauna and The Equestrian Zoologist’s Guide?”

“Sure thing!”

Setting his comic down, Spike scampered off to the movable ladder by the bookshelves, and Twilight sighed.

“I swear, the second he sits down with one of those comics, he’s in his own little world.”

“Heh,” I chuckled. “He’s that invested, is he?”

“Oh, he adores them,” said Twilight, “especially superhero comics. He’s gotten into this series called Power Ponies, but I think he’s the only one who could explain it and do it justice. Well, we might as well get set up.”

She trotted toward the table we had worked at last time, and I went to join her. Still, at the thought of the name ‘Power Ponies’, I couldn’t help visualizing equines in color-coded jumpsuits and helmets, and Spike dressed in a brown coat and trilby reading them avidly. My imagination was running quite wild that day, to be sure…


***


As I had anticipated, the work session was long and tedious. We did take breaks for lunch and to use the restroom, but other than that, it was research, research, and more research. As like last time, Twilight was insistent about the way I put what we found into essay form, though she was less strict this time. I tried to tell her I had all week to do it, but that was a mistake in and of itself. She made sure I was looking her straight in the eye and said, firmly,

“Words like that are the procrastinator’s refuge, Dave. ‘I’ll do it tomorrow’, ‘I have until Friday to turn it in’, and so on. It’s better to have it done early than to rush at the last minute. Isn’t that why you came to me?”

In a way, she had a point, and it was useless to argue. I’m not trying to say the work wasn’t interesting. On the contrary, I learned even more about these creatures than from what the history book had given me. Cockatrices, for example, could not only turn living creatures into stone, but could also undo their own curse. Despite their predatory nature and unsettling appearance (not to mention foul breath), timberwolves were quite fragile and could come apart if struck hard enough, but the magic in their wooden bodies allowed them to reform eventually. There were also sparse, but chilling (no pun intended) details on the windigoes I had seen at the Hearth’s Warming pageant, described as spectral entities born from and powered by hatred and ill will, turning the environment colder the more they fed on these feelings. This also applied to ‘illumi-bears’, the Ursas Major and Minor I had heard about. Somehow, it seemed fitting that information like this would be lacking. After all, with descriptions like that, who would want to or even be able to get close to beasts like those?

There were also several tidbits I had already gotten from the history book, which were expounded upon further. That was stuff like the windigoes being a major influence in the founding of Equestria, as well as more mentioning of the orthros being domesticated and imported overseas to other civilizations. There was something about this latter point that nagged at the back of my mind, but I just couldn’t figure out what it was. It could have been because I still had trouble wrapping my mind around a two-headed dog being made into a domestic, breedable pet, but somehow, I wasn’t sure.


***


The morning jog had been tiring for me, but I was in agony by the end of this. Both my back and my rear were sore from the way I had been sitting while I wrote, and my hand felt like it was going to collapse right off my wrist. I felt, as Orwell would have put it, ‘gelatinous with fatigue’ after today’s events, though the proper application of the term was much more taxing than what I had just completed. At last, however, I was able to set my pen down, and Twilight, looking tired but satisfied, whisked my notes over for a final check. Her keen amethyst-purple eyes roved over every line I had painstakingly crafted from the notes we had assembled, moving from one page to the next. Spike was in the kitchen getting dinner ready, and I could hear something frying. It couldn’t have been meat, so possibly it was a veggie stir fry.

At last, Twilight set the paper down.

“Very good, Dave,” she said, smiling at me. “Minister Ironmane should be happy with this. How do you feel?”

“Starving, dead tired, sore,” I murmured, “just to name a few.”

Twilight laughed softly and draped a foreleg across my shoulders, pulling me into a sideways hug that pressed her cheek against mine.

“You’ve worked so hard, but you haven’t complained once during it,” she said. “That’s the mark of a good student. I’m proud of you, Dave.”

“Does that make you my teacher?” I asked. “Because honestly, Minister Ironmane just gives me the assignments. You’re the one giving me the extra info I need. I’m glad to have such a brainy pony as a friend.”

“Well, now,” said Twilight, sounding slightly flattered, “there’s a difference between being someone’s teacher and being someone’s tutor.” 

But whatever difference there was, Twilight didn’t get to say. At that moment, Spike came in, and Twilight released me from her lecture.

“All done in here?” he asked. “Dinner’s ready: fresh hot veggie burgers and sweet potato fries, ala Spike.”

“That sounds wonderful,” said Twilight. “Won’t you join us, Dave?”

“I’d be more than happy to,” I said. “Assuming I can get up.”

Stiffly, painfully, I managed to get myself onto my feet. My joints ached, but I managed in the end, and followed Twilight and Spike into the kitchen, the smell of cooked sweet potato making my stomach rumble.


***


For such a little guy, Spike really was an excellent cook. Even if I wasn’t normally a fan of vegetables, his veggie burgers were delicious, especially with ketchup. The same went for the sweet potato fries, which had just the lightest sprinkling of salt to really bring out their flavor. It was just the kind of meal I needed after all of that work.

“Well, Dave,” said Twilight, “now you can look forward to the rest of the week without having to do anymore work.”

“All thanks to you,” I said, taking a grateful swig of juice.

Spike cleared his throat.

“And you, Spike,” I said. “You did get the books we needed, after all.”

Spike grinned, and Twilight rolled her eyes again.

“So,” she went on, “make sure you get a good night’s rest tonight. Come to the library, say, 9 o’clock? I’ll put the Cloud-Walking Spell on you, and take you up to Cloudsdale. Like I said, Rainbow and I will be right there. You won’t be in any danger.”

I swallowed the bit of veggie burger in my mouth, then nodded to her.

“I know, Twi. I might still be nervous about it, but I’ll still do it, if you guys are there with me.”

Twilight smiled kindly, and dinner passed on in silence after that. I was aching to get home and get to bed, though I was both anticipating and dreading tomorrow: anticipating getting to see Cloudsdale, and dreading the hot air balloon; anticipating a week free from essay-writing, and dreading another frigid jog with Bon Bon.

Just as I was getting ready to leave, however, a book floated over to me, hovering at my elbow. Picking it up, I saw that it bore an illustration of Daring Do and Dowser standing at an altar, gazing, awestruck, at an egg-shaped object sitting upon it, which gave off an intense white glow. The title read, “Daring Do and the Stone of Light”. I looked over at Twilight, who was looking tired, but happy.

“Didn’t want to forget that,” she said. “I know you’ll enjoy it as much as Rainbow and I did.”

“Thanks, Twi,” I said gratefully. “Good night.”

And I took my leave of the studious unicorn, the book tucked carefully under my arm.
> A Trip to Cloudsdale
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next morning’s wake-up call was expected, if no less annoying to my sleeping habits. The aches from the previous day had mostly subsided, but they seemed to return with a vengeance when Bon Bon came by to collect me for the morning run. At the very least, I was glad of a few things: Lyra was still in good spirits, my essay was done, and tonight was bowling night, provided I wasn’t too sore to walk to the alley. On the other hand, right after this, I had a hot air balloon to look forward to. It was one of those foreboding thoughts that left a sour ache in my stomach, but I still didn’t want to seem distant, so I listened to what my friends were saying.

Apparently, along with candies she’d made from the liquid rainbow I’d gotten her for Hearth’s Warming, Bon Bon had already developed several treats that were low in sugar, or completely sugar-free, or were made with healthier substitutions. I could hear her talking about carrot-flavored chews, celery suckers, and alfalfa cakes. Lyra made some sarcastic remarks about having vegetables for dessert, but Bon Bon paid her no mind. I didn’t blame Lyra, however. I wasn’t the biggest fan of vegetables, and no one in their right mind would want veggie-flavored sweets after dinner, so I probably wouldn’t try many of these anytime soon. Still, if Lyra was willing to endure them for the sake of her job, that was all right.


***


Once the walk was over with, I grabbed breakfast at home, then started getting ready for my balloon ride to Cloudsdale, after applying about half of another coat to the sign beforehand. Excitement for finally seeing the pegasus city, and dread of going up in the air were still battling it out in my brain. However, Twilight’s words of reassurance were equally strong. Both she and Rainbow Dash would be there with me. Nothing bad was going to happen.

It was almost time for me to go when somepony came knocking at my door. Opening up, I saw Pinkie beaming up at me. She instantly launched herself at me, pinning my arms to my sides as she hugged me.

“Hi, Davie!”

“Hey, Pinkie!” I gasped out, caught off guard by her pouncing hug. “I haven’t seen you since New Year’s. How’ve you been?”

“Pretty good!” she said, looking up at me. “Dashie told me you’re going up to see Cloudsdale today! That’s awesome!”

“Yeah. I am looking forward to it, but I’m also kinda nervous. I’ve got this thing about heights.”

“Aww, you’ll be ok,” said Pinkie. “Flying in a hot air balloon is fun! You get to be right up above the clouds, higher and higher and higher, until the world’s teeny-tiny below you. You just don’t want to look down, because then you might freak out, or drop your glasses, or lose your balance and topple right out of the basket and fall out of the sky like you did when you first got here!”

She accompanied this with a big, silly grin, but I was severely rattled by how casually she talked about going higher and higher and the risks of being up so high. Was she just messing around with me, or did she even realize what she was saying? You could never tell with this crazy pony.

“Er, thanks, Pinkie,” I said. “My week should be free after today, so if you want to do something together, just the two of us, I’d be more than happy to.”

“Ooh, that sounds fun!” said Pinkie, her eyes sparkling with delight. “I’ll start thinking about it and let you know when I come up with something!”

“Sounds good,” I said, giving her mane a ruffle. “I need to get going if I want to meet Twilight at 9, so I’ll see you around, ok?”

“Okey-dokey-lokey!” said Pinkie. “Have a great day, Davie!”

With that, Pinkie bounced off through the snow, disappearing from sight in a matter of seconds. I locked up, steeled myself for what I was about to, then set a course for the library.


***


Both Twilight and Rainbow Dash were waiting for me outside the library, looking bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. Well, as bushy-tailed as you can be in Twilight’s case, when her tail was always so immaculate. Rainbow’s mane and tail, on the other hand, seemed to be even frizzier than ever, as if her excitement was supercharging her hair with static.

“Morning, Dave!” she said. “You ready?”

“As I’ll ever be,” I said.

“All right, well, first thing’s first,” said Twilight. “The Cloud-Walking Spell. Stand perfectly still, Dave.”

I went rigid, dreading what would happen if this spell failed while I was in up in the clouds, and Twilight closed her eyes, her horn emitting first its usual purple glow, then a much softer light, something like a mix between sky-blue and pure-white. The next thing I knew, it felt like a wave was passing over me, sending an odd tingling sensation all over my body. For a second or two, I felt as light as air, as a feather, and then in the next instant, the feeling slowly faded away. Twilight opened her eyes again.

“There we go,” she said. “That’ll hold for 24 hours, guaranteed. Anypony imbued in the spell can walk on clouds without fear of falling through them. It’s foolproof.” 

“If you say so,” I said, with a shiver.

“Now, to the balloon. Cherry Berry’s agreed to loan it to us for the day, as long as we bring it back safely.”

“Honestly,” said Rainbow, as we started off, “I’m surprised she’s so lenient with lending that balloon, considering all the accidents it’s been in.”

“A-Accidents?” I spluttered.

“Rainbow!” chided Twilight. “Don’t be so tactless!”

“Sheesh, sorry,” muttered Rainbow. “Not like anything bad’s gonna happen, Twi. Ya gotta stop treating everything like a jinx.”

“I do not treat everything like a jinx!” snapped Twilight. “It’s just not right to talk about accidents in front of someone who’s riding a hot air balloon for the first time!”

“Oh, pbth!” scoffed Rainbow, blowing a raspberry. “He knows he’s in good hooves, right, dude?”

She gave me an encouraging nudge on the shoulder.

“Er, yeah, right,” I said, weakly.

“See?” asked Rainbow, smugly.

Twilight had no response but an irritated sigh.

From the library, we walked on until we were near town square. There, anchored by ropes, was a hot air balloon, purple and covered with swirl designs. Just looking up at it was enough to give me a nervous jolt in my stomach, making me feel like I was about to fall backwards. Standing by was Cherry Berry, a pink Earth pony with a blond mane and a cherry for a cutie mark. She was wearing a brown aviation helmet atop her mane, and a sign beside her read ‘Hot Air Balloon Rides: 3 bits per customer’. Twilight levitated 6 bits into her hoof, seeing as Rainbow didn’t need to use the balloon herself.

“You’re sure this thing is safe for someone my size?” I asked Cherry.

“Absolutely,” she assured me. “Hop aboard, Mr. Dave.”

Well, I wasn’t about to ‘hop’ in, but, with a sigh, I clambered into the basket, Twilight hopping in beside me. Rainbow fluttered next to the basket, hovering level to my head.

“Have a good one!” said Cherry Berry, and she released the rope anchoring the balloon to the ground.

With a jolt, the balloon started lifting upwards. The shaking of the basket startled me badly, and I stumbled backwards with a yelp, nearly tumbling off. Rainbow zipped right behind me, however, and set me right. My heart was beating a million times per minute, and my stomach felt like it was knotting itself.

“I changed my mind!” I whimpered. “Let me off! I can’t do this!”

“We’ve hardly even started, dude,” said Rainbow. “Just relax. Pretend it’s a roller coaster that keeps going up, no drops or loops or anything.”

(But I hate roller coasters!)

The balloon was rising higher and higher, so there was no chance of me going back down now. All I could do was crouch in the basket, Rainbow hovering nearby, chatting with Twilight, who was directing the hot air apparatus. Even staring at the bottom of the basket wasn’t helping me. My knees felt like jelly, and I felt an obsessively paranoid fear that the bottom of the balloon would break, dropping Twilight and me thousands of feet to the ground below. My hands were gripping the basket so tightly that they might have crushed impressions into the weaving.

“HIIIII, DAVIE!”

Oh no. That was Pinkie calling.

“ISN’T IT GREAT UP THERE? HAVE FUN IN CLOUDSDALE!”

It was against my better judgment, but I dared a glance over the side, down at the ground. A tiny pink dot was waving up at me wildly. Another jolt went through my innards at the sight of the shrinking world below me. I let out a groaning whimper and sank back into a sitting position in the basket, hugging my knees to my chest. I felt Twilight put a comforting hoof on my shoulder, but it made little difference. I must have looked so pathetic, and half-expected Rainbow to start laughing at how weak I was, but when I heard her speak, her voice was oddly gentle.

“Wow, Dave. You really don’t like heights, do you?”

“No,” I mumbled. “So go ahead and laugh.”

There was a soft clatter of hooves. Rainbow had landed in the basket, sitting right beside me. She fixed me with her rose-colored gaze.

“Hey, come on, don’t be like that,” she said. “Fluttershy doesn’t do well with heights, either, and she’s a pegasus. Doesn’t mean I’m gonna stop being her friend.”

Fluttershy was scared of heights too? I never knew that…

“If you want to turn back, Dave,” said Twilight, “that’s all right. We don’t want to force you to do this if you don’t want to.”

“No,” I said, firmly. “I do want to see Cloudsdale, honest. I just wish you didn’t have to see me like this…”

Something warm and soft draped itself across my back. I gave a start, but I saw, looking down, that it was Rainbow’s wing. I looked into her face. There was no mockery or arrogance to be found, just understanding.

“Then I’ll sit right by your side until we get there,” she said.

“Thanks, Rainbow,” I muttered, gratefully.

“Just don’t tell anypony else about this,” she added, in a more serious tone, “or I’ll deny it and carry it to my grave.”

“Deal,” I said, unable to keep from grinning.

Twilight, who had been watching it all, merely smiled and continued piloting the balloon.


***


From there, the trip was easier. I was still nervous, but having both Rainbow and Twilight by my side made a huge difference. Even from where I was sitting, I could see the clouds passing by, and could make out ones that were of odd or interesting shapes. Once I thought I saw one that looked like a rearing horse without a head, to which Rainbow joked that it was the ‘Headless Horse’, hiding in plain sight until the black of night. That not only made me laugh, but Twilight as well. 

It was kinda funny: both of them were my travel companions to all of my trips to Canterlot, except for my meeting with the rest of the Foreign Relations council, and now both were accompanying me to Cloudsdale. Was it just a coincidence? Probably, but it didn’t matter. Just having them alongside me was enough.

“There it is!” Twilight called suddenly.

“Come on, Dave, stand up,” encouraged Rainbow. “You’ve gotta see this.”

Nervously, my legs still feeling a bit wobbly, I managed to stand up with Rainbow’s assistance. Once I was fully upright, I looked out...and felt my jaw fall open.

Looming in front of us was an enormous cloud...but was it a cloud? No, it was a mass of clouds grouped together. No, not even that. It was a city made from clouds! It was all one big, gigantic mass of fluffy white, crafted intricately into a structured, detailed civilization, which seemed to consist primarily of column-supported structures, akin to Greek buildings. All around its base, rainbow waterfalls were raining down. Dozens, maybe even hundreds, of pegasi were flying about.

“Wow…” I breathed. “Unbelievable! This is where you were born, Rainbow?”

“Yep,” said Rainbow, proudly. “Home sweet home. Some of the best moments of my life happened here, as a filly and as a mare.”

“Wow,” was all I could say.

Twilight beamed as she directed the balloon in closer for a landing on an empty stretch of cloud. The basket settled in gently, sending a tiny puff of vapor into the air.

“All right, Dave, we’ve landed,” she said. “We can disembark now.”

I looked at the white mass ahead of me, trepidation setting in again.

“You’re sure this cloud-walking spell works?” I asked.

“Without fail,” said Twilight. “It’s all right. Just take it one step at a time.”

“But be quick,” said Rainbow, “or I’ll give ya a nudge to get you going.”

“Rainbow!” chided Twilight.

“Just kidding, Twi.”

Slowly, steadily, I began inching my leg over the edge of the basket, heart hammering like mad again, eyes shut tight, sweat beading my forehead.

(Please don’t fall, please don’t fall, please don’t fall, please don’t fall!)

My foot settled into the cloud...and didn’t sink through. 

I opened one eye a fraction. The substance below was soft and cushy, and yet solid underneath. My foot wasn’t going through at all. Opening the other eye, I eased myself fully out of the basket, until both feet were planted in the cloudy surface.

I...was standing on a cloud.

I was standing on a cloud!

“...No way,” I murmured, taking a few steps forward to further test. “I’m walking on a cloud! I can’t believe it!”

“See, Dave?” asked Twilight. “What did I tell you?”

“Nothing to it, big guy!” said Rainbow.

“Man, the people at home would never believe me if I told them about this!” I said, now filled with a kind of wild euphoria. “I’m walking on a cloud! An honest-to-goodness cloud! Even better, a cloud city!”

It was as if another person was alive inside me! I gripped the ropes connecting the balloon to the basket and looked out. Before me was a sea of clouds in all shapes and sizes, stretching out like a flotilla of ships on the water. With the clouds beneath my feet feeling like solid ground, I felt much safer than before. That said, I wasn’t about to jump up and down or stomp my feet too hard. 

Taking in a deep breath, I crowed at the top of my lungs,

“I’M THE KING OF THE WORLD!!”

My voice echoed, loud and proud, through the sky. Rainbow started laughing at my behavior, but Twilight’s brow furrowed. I had the feeling she didn’t quite like my choice of words, as if it was a disparagement towards Princess Celestia’s rule. However, her annoyance was brief, and she relaxed again. 

“Well, come on, then,” she said, and she leaped lightly out of the basket onto the cloud beside me.

“One grand tour of Cloudsdale, coming up!” said Rainbow. 

Just as soon as she said this, there was a *boom* like cannon-fire, but it sounded like it came from the sky. Rainbow’s eyes lit up with glee, and Twilight and I craned our necks to see what she was looking at.

Three winged shapes were streaking across the sky, leaving cloudy trails behind them. As they zoomed past, I caught a glimpse of them, clad in blue and yellow bodysuits and goggles. I also saw the colors of their manes flash by: fiery-orange, dark-blue, and silver-white. Several pegasi nearby cheered wildly as they went, and then, the three pulled an about-face and flew back again, each one raising a forehoof in a salute to the crowd below. I could now see properly that there were two mares and a stallion.

It was the Wonderbolts!

I watched them until they were out of sight again, and then Rainbow Dash let out a loud whoop of excitement.

“Now that’s how you kickstart a grand tour!” she said. “Perfect timing!”

“Those were the Wonderbolts?” I asked, stunned.

“Yep! Spitfire, Soarin, and Fleetfoot,” said Rainbow.

“Fleetfoot?” I asked. “I know that name. Spitfire mentioned her in Flying With the ‘Bolts.”

“She’s a natural when it comes to fast-paced flying,” said Rainbow. “She’s small, but she’s speedy.”

“Man,” I said, “what I wouldn’t give to see their tricks in action, not that that flyby wasn’t brilliant.”

“They hold air shows all the time,” said Rainbow, obviously pleased by my enthusiasm. “I’ll let you know when I get a hold of tickets to one. But now,” she added, in a mock-pompous voice, “without further ado, let the grand tour of Cloudsdale begin!”

With that, she took the lead, and we started off toward the towering mass of clouds that was Cloudsdale.


***


As we went along, I took a more detailed note of the architecture of Cloudsdale. As I had observed from the balloon, the buildings seemed to mostly consist of structures supported by columns, like those based in Greek architecture. I supposed, in a way, that that was clever in a way, since Pegasus was a figure in Greek mythology, and here was a city teeming with pegasi. I wondered if there ever was an original ‘Pegasus’ in Equestria’s far past, like the ‘father of the race’ or something like that. I might have to look back in my history book for that.

Rainbow took the time to point various buildings and structures as we went, completely absorbed in her role as a tour guide. One of the most prominent landmarks was an airborne colosseum, where the Best Young Flyers Competition had been held a year or so ago. It was there that Rainbow had rescued Rarity and three Wonderbolts, performing her second Sonic Rainboom at the same time.

Further on was what turned out to be a museum, filled with statues, portraits, displays of aeronautical artifacts, and testimonials of famous pegasi. There was even a spot dedicated to Snowdrop, a name I only recalled because of my first essay session with Twilight. She’d said something about her taming the winter snows by crafting the first snow stars. 

Twilight was eager to elaborate on whatever my eyes seemed to linger on, but Rainbow was more of a ‘get-you-in-look-around-ok-done’ kind of guide, something my unicorn friend didn’t seem to take too kindly.

“You’re showing Dave your birthplace, Rainbow,” she said, tersely. “Show a bit more pride in your presentation.”

“Hey, I know where to take him,” said Rainbow, defensively. “I’ve got you to dish out the egghead stuff for him. That way, we both contribute, see?”

Twilight didn’t even dignify that with a response.


***


There was another museum-esque building after that, but this one was dedicated to the history of the Wonderbolts, showing members and uniforms past and present. Twilight was very eager to give me historical tidbits, which I was glad for. I’d never have imagined that General Firefly had such an extensive collection of socks, or that Commander Easy Glider was an expert cloud sculptor as well as an aerial choreographer. I knew Twilight was clever, but her knack for trivia was pretty amazing.

The way Rainbow seemed to tune out Twilight’s lecture and just amble off to look around on her own made me wonder if she already knew all this. I wouldn’t have been surprised: if she wanted to be a Wonderbolt someday, she’d bone up on everything there was to know about them. Twilight, however, gave her a rather stern look, as if she figured Rainbow’s reason for not paying attention was the exact opposite of my theory.

The piece de resistance of Rainbow’s Cloudsdale tour was the weather factory, which sat at the highest point in all of Cloudsdale. It was an enormous facility, at the top of which was a funnel-like apparatus that seemed to be churning out clouds. At the entrance, we all had to put on labcoats, hard hats, and safety goggles, as it was standard protocol when walking around the factory. 

From there, Rainbow took me on a tour of the different compartments specialized for specific weather. There was a room for clouds, regular and storm, categorizing them by type, intensity of rain or lightning, and so forth. There was even a chart detailing who was to take what cloud where in Equestria. 

“Efficient,” was all I had to say.

There was another room that made rainbows, in liquid form, like Bon Bon’s Hearth’s Warming present. It flowed down in a never-ending stream into a pool of multicolored liquid. A sign nearby read ‘Do NOT taste the Rainbow’.

“Guess they’ve had too many ponies gutsy enough to taste it,” I said.

“Like you wouldn’t believe,” said Rainbow.

Then there was a room set aside for crafting snowflakes. It looked like a very intricate, precise process, especially since they had to work with hooves and wings. How long did it take them to craft just one?

I had never imagined that so many departments needed to be set aside for so many weather aspects. It was like walking through Willy Wonka’s chocolate factory, only without the promise of delicious candy or Oompa-Loompas singing about horrible kids. At least, until we visited the cafeteria, minus the Oompa-Loompas, and the singing. The candy was good, though. They treated employees well here.

“Working 9 to 5 making weather,” I said, as we headed back toward the entrance. “What a way to make a living. I’ll bet it pays really well.”

“Well, I don’t like to brag,” said Rainbow, smugly.

“Yes, you do,” interrupted Twilight, dryly.

“Shut up,” grumbled Rainbow. “It pays the bills. Speaking of, now that you’ve gotten comfortable with cloud-walking, Dave, you’d better be on the lookout, cuz I just might drop you an invite to my house one of these days. You haven’t lived until you’ve seen Casa de Dash!”

“Please tell me you did not just say ‘Casa de Dash’,” said Twilight, wearily.


***


As we exited the weather factory and started milling about some more, I caught sight of two ponies off in the distance. They were walking side-by-side and speaking animatedly to each other, heads bent close, as if they wanted to keep their voices down. It was only when we got close that I realized who they were, but I was even more baffled at the sight. One of them was Eagle Eye, the Cloudsdale representative of the Round Table, but the other was...Minister Ironmane! How had he gotten up here?! Did he know a Cloud-Walking Spell too?

Twilight had spotted them too, and her eyes widened with surprise and delight.

“Minister Ironmane!” she called. “Eagle Eye!”

The two looked up sharply, surprised at the interruption, but their features relaxed when they saw it was us.

“Ah, greetings, Twilight Sparkle,” said Ironmane, civilly. “And, I believe, Rainbow Dash, is it?”

“Yep!” said Rainbow. “That’s me!”

“And you too, David?” Ironmane went on. “Fancy seeing you up here. I wasn’t under the impression that humans could walk on clouds.”

“Cloud-Walking Spell,” I said. “Same for you?”

“Indeed. It was necessary, as I had to discuss some matters with Eagle Eye.”

“How you doing, new guy?” she asked, in a friendly tone.

“Not too bad,” I said. “I still can’t believe I’m up here, though, in a city of clouds. We’ve got nothing like it back home. They’ll never believe this when I tell them.”

“Did you see the Wonderbolts flying by earlier?” asked Eagle Eye.

“Sure did!” I said. “It was the first time I’ve ever seen them in person. Don’t you captain a squad of fliers too, Eagle Eye?”

“Yeah, the Stormwings,” said Rainbow, idley. “They’re pretty good.”

“Only pretty good?” asked Eagle Eye, raising an eyebrow.

Uh oh. This didn’t bode well.

“Uh, what she meant was-” Twilight began, nervously.

“Well, no offense,” Rainbow went on, as if she hadn’t heard, “but compared to the Wonderbolts...Well, let’s just say the flight choreography could use some work. Kinda sloppy.”

“Rainbow!” Twilight snapped, outraged, before turning to Eagle Eye. “Please excuse her, Eagle Eye. She didn’t mean-”

“Don’t worry about it,” said Eagle Eye, amiably. “I’m on good terms with Spitfire, but that doesn’t mean our squads don’t butt heads every now and then.” She frowned slightly. “Without me supervising them, there’s no telling what those lunks of mine’ll get up to, trying to mess with the ‘Bolts. It’s like babysitting a college fraternity.”

“Sounds rough,” I said.

“Yeah, but it’s all worth it,” said Eagle Eye, with a small smile. “Well, I really hate to cut this short, Dave, but the minister and I still have some stuff to go over.”

“Yes,” said Ironmane. “It’s imperative that this matter be settled as soon as possible, so I hope you understand, David.”

There was a slight note of agitation in his voice, and I didn’t find it right to butt in about what his business was with Eagle Eye.

“O-Of course!” I said. “I understand. I’ll see you two later, then.”

“Good day, David,” said Ironmane, and as he and Eagle Eye strode past, they started up their conversation again, but I couldn’t catch a word of it. However, as he strode off, I could have sworn I saw the flag of a pennant waving beneath his cloak, bearing an ‘S’ and ‘W’ superimposed before crossed bolts of lightning. Did that stand for the Stormwings?

“Fancy seeing Minister Ironmane up here,” said Twilight. “Bet you didn’t expect that, did you, Dave?”

“Nope,” I said.

Then, all of a sudden, I realized something, and smacked my forehead with my palm.

“What is it?” Rainbow asked.

“Nuts,” I muttered. “If I’d known Ironmane was going to be here, I’d have given him my report!”

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” said Twilight, calmly. “You couldn’t have known. You’ll see him on Sunday, like always, and then you’ll be able to give it to him.”

“Yeah, I spose you’re right,” I said.

“Come on, guys,” said Rainbow. “Let’s go grab some lunch. I know the perfect spot, too: the Cloud 9 Cafe! ‘Food light as air, and light on your bits’!”

“Catchy,” I said, as we went along. “Wonder what Moonlight would think of that.”



***


I had to admit, despite my earlier freak-out, I was glad I’d come along on this trip. There was only one thing that bothered me, however. There were plenty of pegasi who stopped to stare as we went by, no doubt mystified at seeing a human who could walk on clouds. Some were pleasant enough when we said hi, but there were several who didn’t seem too keen on my being there. Their dirty looks were vividly imprinted in my brain even after they’d already gone. I wondered if they’d taken my yell of being the ‘king of the world’ seriously...

“Just ignore them, dude,” said Rainbow, as we were making our way back to the balloon. “Remember when we first met? I told ya we'd never even seen a human before you, and we’d accepted what we heard about them in the past. They just need some time to get to know you better.”

“If you say so,” I said, unconvinced, “though I doubt they’re interested in ‘getting to know’ me.”

“Well, here he is now,” came a sudden, deep male voice. “The ‘King of the World’ himself.”

Turning around, we found ourselves face to face with a stallion. He was a middle-aged, chestnut pegasus with a full, well-groomed mustache, black with graying tips. His mane and tail showed the same level of meticulous grooming and care, as well as grayness at the ends. He had an open book for a cutie mark.

“Can we help you, Professor High Brow?” Rainbow asked.

“Actually, Miss Dash,” said the stallion, “you can help me by telling me what on Earth you were thinking.”

“Huh?”

“A mare your age, born and raised in Cloudsdale, should have more sense than this: bringing one of his kind up here. They weren’t meant to walk on clouds, unless he possesses some devilish magic they didn’t care to put in the textbooks. Wouldn’t surprise me.”

I wasn’t sure how to respond to that. On the one hand, being accused of possessing dark magic was insulting. On the other, it was kind of amusing that a magical flying pony was accusing me of being a magical mythical being.

“He’s nothing like that, Professor,” retorted Rainbow, in a calm tone, but with an edge nonetheless. “I’ve known him for over 4 months now, and he’s nothing like you and the rest of Cloudsdale’s teachers have been making humans out to be.”

“4 months? Ha!” scoffed High Brow. “A mere second compared to the companionship they shared with the princesses, and judging by the fact that they no longer walk these lands, you can see how well that turned out.”

W-What?

“What do you mean by that?” I asked.

“Don’t tell me you don’t know,” said High Brow, casting me a contemptuous look. “You don’t know why humans have long become a myth to Equestria, why long-established ties between them and Princess Celestia were severed, and they retreated back across the sea where they belonged?”

Across the sea?

…

Wait a minute…

Did that mean…?

“Come on, Dave, Twi,” said Rainbow, her tail flicking. “We’re going.”

“Right,” said Twilight.

“Er, right,” I said.

We climbed back into the balloon, Twilight operating the mechanism. I sat myself back down on the bottom of the basket, Rainbow right beside me. Professor High Brow’s eyes never left me as we shifted off and began to drift away, but eventually, he turned around and flew away. Rainbow snorted steam through her nostrils.

“Stubborn old coot,” she grumbled. “Dave could teach him and everypony else a thing or two.”

“Just let it go, Rainbow,” said Twilight. “They’ll come to understand in time.”

“But it’s not fair,” Rainbow went on. “Just because the humans of the past are all gone, the second that a new one comes along, they judge him like the rest!”

“I understand, Rainbow,” said Twilight, patiently, “but you can’t just…”

As they argued and debated, I was lost in my own thoughts. That Professor High Brow said that the humans that had made contact with Equestria years and years ago lived ‘across the sea’. My history book from the princesses described the orthros as being one of the first tamed Equestrian creatures to be exported as pets to countries ‘across the sea’. Was it a coincidence? Or was there a connection?

“Dave?”

“Uh? What?”

I gave my head a shake to regain my focus, then looked over at Rainbow.

“You say something, Rainbow?”

“I was just asking if you had a good time in Cloudsdale.”

“Oh! Yeah, definitely! Thanks a bunch for bringing me, Rainbow. I really appreciate it.”

“No sweat, dude,” she said, smiling and putting a hoof across my shoulders. “Glad I could show you around. Don’t let what High Brow said bug you, though. We’ll show them what humans are really like one of these days, kick those old stories to the curb.”

“If you say so,” I said.

“So we’ll just drop you off back at home, in time for a bite before bowling,” said Rainbow. “Bring ‘er down smoothly, Twi.”

“Aye-aye, Captain Dash,” said Twilight, sarcastically, as the balloon began to descend back toward Ponyville. Now that I was back inside, the old anxiety of being in the air unsupported beyond this balloon came rushing back, and I stayed huddled up until we were safely back on blessed terra firma.


***


“Cloudsdale?!”

“Like I said, Cloud-Walking Spell and everything. It was pretty cool.”

I was bringing my teammates up to speed on what I’d been up to that day. As none of them were pegasi, they were naturally amazed and envious. For my part, I was temporarily taken up in how smoothly my new ball was working out. The finger holes were making the game so much easier.

“Shoot, what Ah wouldnt give to go up there maself one of these days,” said Big Mac.

“Tell me about it,” said Magnum. “It’d be great, takin’ a ride up there with the girls when the weather warms up. Sounds like you had a swell time there, though, Dave.”

“Definitely,” I said. “Hey, Caramel?”

“Mm?”

“I’ve been meaning to ask: how are things going between you and...Sassaflash, was it?”

“Oh!” said Caramel, a big smile spreading on his face. “Funny you should ask that, Dave. I hadn’t had the chance to tell you guys yet, but…”

Everyone turned to look at him, seeming to catch the meaning behind what he was saying, or rather not saying. Even the girls looked over.

“Wait,” said Big Mac, “do ya mean-?”

“I do!” said Caramel. “I finally got up the courage to ask her. I popped the question on New Year’s Day!”

“And?” Magnum prompted, eagerly.

“And she said yes!”

I wasn’t normally a cheering person, but even I couldn’t help joining in the celebratory yelling.

“Congratulations, Caramel!” boomed Big Mac.

“Knew ya could do it!” said Magnum.

“That’s great news!” I said.

“Thanks, guys,” said Caramel. “We’ve still got yet to fix a definite date, but Sassa and I are officially engaged.”

“Oh, how romantic!” said Bon Bon. “I love weddings!”

“Aw, don’t get sappy on me, Bonnie,” grumbled Lyra. “It’s like you’re trying to drench the world’s biggest pancake.”

“You would find a way to kill the mood, Lyra,” retorted Bon Bon.

“It’s just that the last time I was a bridesmaid, I didn’t even get to go to the wedding.”

From there, most of the conversation was monopolized by talk about the engagement, plans for the wedding, etc. It wasn’t really my thing, so I didn’t offer any input and stuck to bowling. Screwball seemed to have a similar mindset, but I wasn’t too sure, since she never said anything anyway. What I did note, however, was the frequency with which Cheerilee would steal a glance at Big Mac when they were talking about wedding plans. I don’t know if he caught on to them, but then again, I wondered if I was even reading those signs right.

It was a fun night, just like the previous two, and this time, when I got home, there was no Vinyl freezing on the doorstep. As I got ready for bed, I couldn’t help remembering what that Professor High Brow had been talking about. He said the humans of the past had had strong ties with Princess Celestia, but something had obviously made them go sour, as they went back home ‘across the sea’, as he put it.

What was it that ended their companionship, if my hypothesis even was correct to begin with?

There was only one way to find out.


***


“You’re going to what?”

I had decided to go to Twilight with my decision the next day, since she was the princess’s protege, after all. After surviving yet another morning walk with Bon Bon and Lyra, I made my way to the library, where Twilight and Spike were once again reading by the fire.

“I’m going to ask Princess Celestia about her relationship to the humans of the past,” I said. “I feel like I have a right to know.”

“You’re making it sound like she’s deliberately keeping it a secret from you.”

“She said the first time I asked wasn’t the right time. After reading what I found in the history book and hearing what that High Brow guy had to say, I feel like I deserve to hear it from the horse- er, pony’s mouth.”

“Mm, I don’t know, Dave,” said Twilight, uncertainly. “If Princess Celestia didn’t want to answer you the first time, I don’t see what difference asking her now will do. She might not have meant for you to ask again.”

“That just sounds ridiculous,” I said.

“Eh, Twilight’s just worried that if you pester her about it, she might bash you with the sun or something,” said Spike, casually.

“That is not true!” snapped Twilight.

“Says the pony who made a checklist of how not to be burned to a crisp if the sun were to land on her head,” quipped Spike.

“That was different!” growled Twilight.

Spike started to laugh, but all of a sudden, his cheeks bulged, and he clapped a claw over his mouth. I only just realized what it meant, since it’d been a while since I’d seen it, when he let out an almighty belch, followed by a tongue of his green flames. However, instead of one scroll, there were two floating in mid-air.

“Two at once?” Twilight asked. “I don’t think that’s ever happened before.”

“Must be something urgent,” I said, “if it’s two at once.”

She plucked the scrolls out of the air, opened one, scanned its contents, and let out an ‘Oh!” of surprise.

“What is it?” Spike asked.

“This one’s for you, Dave,” said Twilight, handing it to me.

“For me?” I asked, puzzled.

Looking down at the parchment, I read,

“David,
Your presence is required at the Foreign Relations council room. Make haste, for time is of the essence. You will be informed of the situation when you arrive.
Sincerely,
Minister Ironmane”

“Minister Ironmane wants me in Canterlot immediately,” I said. “Sorry, guys, but I need to get going. Who knows what this is about?”

Twilight didn’t answer. Her eyes were glued to her own scroll, a look of dread on her face.

“Twi?” I asked. “Are you ok?”

Still no answer.

“Twilight?” questioned Spike. “What’s the matter?”

“...A test…” Twilight murmured.

“Pardon?” I asked.

“A test...Princess Celestia...a test...me…”

“Uh oh,” muttered Spike, as if he knew where this was going. “Dave, you should probably get going. Like, right now.”

“Er, right,” I said, bemused, “but-”

“It’ll be fine, just hurry,” said Spike.

“Uh, got it.”

Taking my message with me, I hurried out of the library, but not fast enough to outrun the sound of a panicked squeal from Twilight. Whatever this ‘test’ was, I couldn’t help but feel like it had something to do with what Ironmane was summoning me for. If it was something that couldn’t be put to writing, and needed to be said when I got there, then this was something huge indeed. I just hoped I was up to it.
> *100th Chapter Special* *Alternate POV* Codfish
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was the dawn of a new day. The air was slightly chilly, but the inside of my house was as warm and toasty as an oven. I was still fast asleep, my eyes dry from watching myself sleep all night. I was lying on top of my bedsheets, my head facing the end of the bed, my favorite beanie resting on my belly, and my back hooves on my pillow. My snoring stirred my beanie’s propellor, sending it spinning in opposite directions as I breathed in and out, creaking like a rusty weathervane. The ceiling was copying the early-morning sky outside, growing slowly brighter minute by minute. The room was full of the sound of my alarm clock ticking away softly, almost ready to signal the start of the day.

I was standing in the midst of mountains of staples. Sometimes it was staples, sometimes it was buttons, and sometimes it was raisins. Just mountains and mountains of them. I sighed.

“Just look at all these staples. The tower of mashed potatoes will be snowed in if it rains any more of them.”

There was a pebble at my hoof. I gave it a kick, and it knocked against one of the staple mountains. It quivered, then collapsed, revealing a giant mustache underneath it.

“Another one? Honestly, no wonder ponies always say it’s like trying to find a mustache in a staple stack...At least, I think that’s what they say. Ah well.”

I trotted on, kicking my little pebble at more staple mountains, making more mustaches come out. Did they always have to be handlebar mustaches? Why not walrus or pencil?

Everything vanished as my alarm clock went off, my whole bed vibrating. I gave my clock a kick. As always, that made my bed stop shaking and ringing. I stretched and yawned, my joints cracking loudly. Sitting up so that my beanie slipped off, I scratched my stomach sleepily, making a sound like a glissando across a xylophone. I then looked over at the wall housing the photographs of my bowling pals: Lyra, Bon Bon, Cheerilee, and Pearl. I smiled as my eyes roved over their faces.

(Good morning, friends.)

Then, I hopped off the bed and headed into the bathroom. I felt like orange juice and a cup of bread for breakfast today. As per usual, I put a drinking glass under the faucet and turned the tap, watching as fresh-squeezed orange juice poured out, filling the glass to the brim. I took a big swig of it, drinking the whole thing down in one. Ahh, that really hit the spot. 

Next I went to the bathtub, stepped inside, turned the faucet, and held out my cup. There was a rattle in the pipes, then a full piece of bread shot out of the showerhead, landing right in my cup. Unfortunately, it was rye bread, instead of my favorite pumpernickel. Darn. The bread was soon on its way down into my belly, while I licked the crumbs off my face, still wishing it had been pumpernickel. 

Then, I hopped out of the tub, rummaged in the cabinet under the sink, and pulled out my scrub-brush. I slipped it on over my hoof with the strap attached to it, hopped back into the tub, then began running the brush over my mane and coat. Some of the suds went up my nose, making me cough and sneeze. Plus, since I hadn’t used any soap yet, I hadn’t cleaned anything useful. Finally, I was scrubbed, soggy, and shiny from head to hoof. Placing the brush down, I shook myself dry, and my mane and tail got poofy again. I didn’t mind, though; I liked my hair that way.

Stepping out of the shower, I headed to my wardrobe, looking for work clothes. Today was a work day, after all, and I didn’t want to be late. I never was, of course. As a matter of fact, I was always the first one to arrive, bright-eyed and ready to start a new day, while everypony else was still trying to shake off sleep, drowsy-eyed and moaning for a cup of coffee.

At last, I found my silky blue dress shirt, patterned with red and yellow spots: one of my favorites. I put this on and topped my mane with my beanie, gazing at myself in the mirror set in the wardrobe door. I liked this mirror. Depending on how I looked at myself in it and what I did, the reflection changed. It was really funny! I puffed out my cheeks, and my reflection ballooned all around, looking like I’d gained 20 pounds. I sucked my tummy in, and my mirror made me look thin and scrawny, more like a deer than a pony. I gave my mane a toss, just like I saw Rarity do so often, and the mirror made me slender and curvy, with pretty eyes and a flowing, glimmering mane. I even turned around and wiggled my rump at it, and my reflection grew so large that it nearly filled it up completely, shaking back and forth like an elephant walking ahead. 

Feeling a bit more cheerful after doing that, I closed my wardrobe, trotted downstairs, and headed out the door..


***


I don’t know why, but no one ever talked about the Ponyville accounting offices as a fun place. I always had fun coming into work. I liked the ponies who worked there, even though they weren’t quite as good company as my bowling buddies. I liked the work, which always got my mind buzzing with numbers and jargon, and I liked the click-clicking of my typewriter. Today, like always, I was the first to arrive, the rest of the office’s employees taking up the rear, the sleepyheads. I smiled and waved as they passed be, and most of them returned it with a smile of their own.

“Good morning, Screwball.”

“Hello, Screwball.”

It always made me happy to hear them greet me as they came in, tired though they looked and sounded. One thing I found odd, though, was the fact that they were always dressed in stuffy black or gray suit-jackets and ties. Why couldn’t they be more expressive with their outfits, like me? I’d never gotten in trouble for wearing different clothes. Once, I came into work wearing a bathrobe, and nopony said anything about it. Ah, well. It was their loss.

As I sat at my desk, I saw a big pile of papers awaiting for me, and a big smile came over my face. It was going to be another full, absorbing day, riddled with lists of figures and numbers. I  pulled out, from a drawer, a pair of spectacles with red and blue lenses, ornamented with fake jewels in the frames, and fixed them on my snout. They were my work-glasses, the ones I wore when I got down to business. The trick is getting them off afterwards; you gotta yank ‘em off like a bandage Then, pulling the stack towards me and glancing at the first sheet, I set to work, my hooves clicking away at the keys. It almost sounded like I was making music!

My job was something of an odd topic with my friends. They didn’t seem able to believe that I’d chosen to become a tax accountant. Lyra had told me that I’d have made a good clown, before Bon Bon shut her up with a glare. She needn’t have worried, though. I wasn’t about to compete with Bon Bon at her best skill. Pearl had said, since I like baseball as much as bowling, that I could have been a professional baseball player, while Cheerilee said I could have been a baseball coach. However, being silly and playing baseball were more like hobbies to me. I’d known, ever since I’d gotten my cutie mark, that my specialty lay in accomplishing the incomprehensible, and so I set myself to working at what many ponies were unable to make heads or tails of: taxes. It was right up my alley.

My clients always had the most interesting questions (and complaints) for me to deal with, and I turned to my handy-dandy whiteboard to help spell it out for them. Today, for instance, a stuffy-looking old mare came to me to complain about a zoning regulation against owning houses shaped like marshmallows.

“It’s an outrage to stifle creative tastes!” she said. “What is the world coming to when a pony isn’t allowed to accommodate herself in a domicile simply reeking with that certain je ne sais quois?”

She had a good point. Who wouldn’t want to live in a giant marshmallow? Still, regulations required that I had to explain why she had to pay more for that kind of thing. She wasn’t happy, but at least she didn’t storm at me, like what always seemed to happen to poor Murphy. His luck seemed to dictate that he get the most irritable, bad-tempered clients. One of these days, he’s gonna have a nervous breakdown. I’ve been recommending the room with the extra-bouncy padding for weeks now. I played in it with Screw Loose just yesterday, and the lift you get when jumping is something else!

Before lunch time, a unicorn stallion came in to complain about a new tax bracket that had just been instituted, in the event that a pony’s foal was, by some means or other, turned into a lobster.

“I told my wife it was a foolish spell to meddle with, but did she listen?! Now my poor son’s having to learn how to use claws instead of his horn and hooves! Honestly, who dreams up these ridiculous taxes? What are the odds of a foal turning into a lobster?!”

In my experience, not as far-off as this guy imagined. Still, I spelled it out for him as only I could, though I did have to use Spell Check for the word ‘Metanephrops’. I should get Spell a wheel of cheese as thanks later. The stallion left in a huff, taking the time to yell over his shoulder that it was distracting to squeak when I wrote. What was he talking about? I wished I got more visits from one of the nicer customers I’d helped out, like the pegasus who was super-happy when I explained a new tax break if the cloud you lived on was a nimbus.

I looked at my empty desk. So boring! That was something else about my work that I noticed was different with my office chums. Most of the other accountants took almost the entire day to get through the stacks they had on their desks. They plunked and clicked away at their keyboards monotonously, mumbling figures and equations to themselves as they went. I, on the other hoof, usually had my morning stack completed by lunch time. Even when I was reading through tax code that nopony else could decipher, I always had it down exactly as it was needed, and in record time. Some ponies also took all day with just one client, while I was done with them within minutes. If I didn’t know better, I’d have thought they were hogging all the clients, but every time end-of-month tallies came up, I was always the one who lead the company. Still think it’s rigged somehow. 

The first few times I did this, everypony seemed really impressed, but by now they didn’t even bat an eyelid. Sometimes, though, I wished I wasn’t so quick. It didn’t leave me with much else to do after lunch but wait for sparse additions to be added to my workload, and those were finished in seconds. Still, I never complained, and by the time the clock on the wall showed 11:30, the stack had moved completely from my left side to my right, everything taken down and calculated. I yanked off my spectacles, left my desk, and trotted off to get some fresh air and lunch. Work was over, and today, I felt like something from Sugarcube Corner.


***


“Next, please! Oh, sannu, Screwball! Kana lafiya?”

Pinkie Pie was beaming as I headed up to the counter. I enjoyed Pinkie Pie’s company. In a lot of ways, she was like me: fun-loving, silly, fond of sweets. It had been a while since I’d come to Sugarcube Corner for lunch, so I figured I could get in a visit with Pinkie as well. I had no idea she spoke Horsa.

“Ta yaya ne abubuwa a waya?” Pinkie asked.

I shrugged, just to say ‘Eh, same as always’.

“Same kamar yadda a kullum, jikin mutum? To, abin da zan iya samu a gare ku?”

I took a good, long look at the stuff on display, then found what I was looking for. I pointed out a poppy-seed bagel to Pinkie.

“A poppy iri Bagel? Lafiya! The saba baza, ya yi yawa ?”

Oh, yes! I nodded eagerly.

“Okie-dokie-lokie ! Wannan za a 4 ragowa!”

I took off my beanie, rummaged around inside it, and took out four bits, placing them on the counter before putting my hat back on. Pinkie grabbed a bagel from the display counter, split it into its two halves, then slathered a heaping helping of strawberry cream cheese on them before handing them to me. Yummy!

“Akwai ka tafi! Labari ne game lokaci na dauki hutu, ta wata hanya, don haka zan zauna tare da kai!”

We both took a nearby table, me with my bagel, Pinkie with a heavily-iced cupcake. I couldn’t help laughing as Pinkie stuck her muzzle straight into the icing, slurping it up greedily and leaving some at the end of her nose. She spotted it, however, which made her go slightly cross-eyed, and she kept flicking her tongue at her nose to try and get it, not quite reaching. She was so goofy! Finally, she succeeded in getting it and gulping it down. I clapped for her, and she beamed.

“Pinkie, dear!” Mrs. Cake called from the kitchen after some time. “Do you think you could lend me a hoof with these gingerbread ponies?”

“Sure thing, Mrs. Cake!” Pinkie called back, then turned to me. “Ina mafi alhẽri samun faruwa , amma zan ganin ka daga baya, Screwball.”

I smiled and nodded to her as she got up from her seat and trotted off to the kitchen. I finished off my bagel, got up myself, and departed from Sugarcube Corner. 


***


After that, I felt like some ice cream for dessert. I still had time, so I went on ahead toward the ice cream parlor. After talking with Pinkie, I’d begun to feel a little more cheerful. It wasn’t possible to sit with that pony and not feel better.

All of a sudden, I felt something sticky underneath my hoof. Lifting it up, I saw a wad of chewing gum plastered to it. Gross! I tried to scrape it off, but it just seemed to stick harder than ever. I tried to go to the fountain to wash it off, but as I went, the gum started picking up loose leaves and pebbles along the ground. I tried to shake them off, but they wouldn’t go away. It made me want to scream!

Instead, I just stamped my hoof down...but that was a mistake. It just so happened that somepony was walking their dog past me, and my hoof accidentally slammed down at the end of its tail. With a yelp, the dog bounded forward, dragging its owner with it by the leash, and leaving me with a big clump of dog hair to add to the yuck on my hoof. The pony dragged by his dog tripped up a mare carrying groceries, which sent apples rolling everywhere. A big fat stallion walking by slipped on them and fell rump-first onto a plank of wood, sending the bucket of paint balanced on it flying. The bucket sailed through the air and struck the middle of a billboard a sign painter had been working on. A big white blot splattered it right in the center, and boy did he look mad! He started yelling at Fatso, who had no idea what just happened.

Things were bad enough as they were, so I washed off the gunk on my hoof as well as I could with water from the fountain (I wasn’t crazy enough to actually soak it in the fountain), then slunk off, before anypony guessed I’d caused all this. I wasn’t in the mood for ice cream anymore.


***


Once I was out of reach of the ponies still clamoring over what just happened, I calmed down again. I still had some time to waste before the next item on my agenda. Maybe I’d check in on Lyra and Bon Bon, see how they were doing. Bon Bon was a funny clown, and Lyra was always talking about the candies she made for everypony. I didn’t even know clowns made candy. I loved candy, but my weight always stayed the same no matter what I ate. Well, except that one time I ate a single hay-fry, and came home weighing a ton. I had to use 3 beanies to get around till I lost the weight. Never found out where it went to, though.

“Screwball! Hello!”

Ah, there was Bon Bon now, with a big smile on her face and a pair of saddlebags slung at her sides.

“How are you today?” Bon Bon asked. “I hope you’re excited for bowling tonight.”

Bowling. Right. I nodded, though half-heartedly. She looked slightly taken aback.

“Don’t you like coming to bowling?”

Uh oh. I think I hurt her feelings. I nodded more energetically. I did like it, really. I loved bowling! But…

“You’re still worried about something going crazy, aren’t you?” asked Bon Bon. “Because of what they say?”

She read me like a map. I nodded. She put a foreleg around my shoulders.

“Screwball, you shouldn’t listen to what everypony says. You do not just cause havoc wherever you go, and you’re definitely not a troublemaker. All of those things were just accidents. It wasn’t your fault that cart of carrots went rolling down the hill road, or the petals on Daisy’s sunflowers just burst off. Nothing but accidents and circumstance, Screwball, so don’t let those bog you down. You’re still a good pony and a good friend.”

I swear, sometimes Bon Bon was as sweet as her candy. The way she put it made me feel a whole lot better. I finally smiled, which made her smile too.

“Atta girl,” she said, giving me a squeeze. “I’ve got good news, too. I talked with Big Macintosh, and he’s inviting Dave to come to the alley. Won’t it be interesting to meet a real human?” 

The human? I didn’t know humans bowled. Now I was interested in meeting this ‘Dave’. I thought I’d seen him walking around once or twice with Pinkie Pie, kinda like a big monkey with clothes on.

“Well, I’ll see you tonight, ok?”

I nodded, and Bon Bon trotted off on her way, while I went on my own way, with a new spring in my step.


***


It was that time of day again: my favorite time next to being at the office. Feeling tingly with glee all over, I headed off toward Ponyville Hospital, cuz a day wasn’t complete without visiting my friend, Screw Loose. As always, Nurse Sweetheart was sitting behind the front desk when I came in, and she smiled as I stepped up.

“Well, good afternoon, Screwball,” she said. “Come to see Screw Loose?”

I nodded eagerly.

“Oh, she’ll be pleased to see you,” said Nurse Sweetheart. “Nurse Snowheart says she’s getting much better these days. At least she’s stopped barking at all hours. You know the way, dear.”

I trotted on past the desk and down the hall. I knew the way to Screw Loose’s ward by heart, having visited her many times before. I liked Screw Loose; she was affectionate, energetic, and was amazing at impressions, even though the only one she ever did was a dog. Unfortunately, this was why she was in the hospital, and she’d been there for months already. What was even worse was that, as far as I knew, I was the only one who ever visited her. She needed a good friend, and luckily, I was just such a friend. Some ponies had asked if we were related, but we’re not. All we had were similar names, so I didn’t know why else anypony would draw that conclusion.

I pushed open the door to Screw Loose’s ward, and there she was, lying on her bed, wearing her usual white jacket. She was staring up at the ceiling, but she turned her head over when she heard the door. The instant she realized I’d come in, her face lit up like Celestia’s sun, and she hopped up into a sitting posture. She held out a hoof, and I clacked my own against hers. It was part of our usual greeting.

I climbed up onto the bed to sit beside her, and no sooner had I done so than Screw Loose flung her hooves around me, nuzzling me from under my chin. Smiling, I gave her a big hug in return, then released her to get a good look at her. Her mane was less messy than usual, and she wasn’t panting like a dog this time. She still looked as eager and curious as a puppy, though. Nurse Sweetheart had been right when she said she was improving.

I put a hoof to her shoulder, my way of asking how she was. In answer, Screw Loose picked up a slate and bit of chalk sitting at her table, then started scrawling in a way that set the slate squeaking and screeching. I couldn’t help giggling; the sound tickled my ears. When Screw Loose was finished, she held up her slate, which read, in clumsy letters, ‘I FEEL GREAT’. 

I smiled at her, then held up a hoof to make sure I had her full attention. I took off my beanie, held it upside-down in my hoof, reached inside it with the other, and pulled from it a bouquet of pansies. Screw Loose looked delighted, and without further ado, devoured the whole bunch. It made me so happy to see her happy, munching her flowers, petals sticking to her lips. 

After that, the two of us just sat there, side by side, Screw Loose nestled against my side. We never really talked, and Screw Loose never spoke anyway, so words weren’t needed. It hurt my heart to think such a sweet, affectionate pony had to stay confined to this hospital with little chance of visitors, all on account of liking to make dog impressions. What was Equestria coming to?

Much too soon for my liking, Doctor Stable came by to usher me out. Now, I didn’t dislike the doctor, but I couldn’t help feeling annoyed with him whenever he cut my visits to Screw Loose short. Nevertheless, I supposed he knew best, being a doctor, and I ought to head to bowling anyway, so I gave Screw Loose a hug goodbye. She hugged me back, adding an extra squeeze that made my heart melt a little. Then, I hopped off the bed and headed off. However, as I was going, I heard Dr. Stable telling Screw Loose, in a kind voice,

“You’ve got a wonderful friend, Screw Loose.”

Now that made me feel warm and toasty inside.


***


It was nighttime, and almost time for bowling, to boot. Coming home, I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth before dinner. I took out my tube of toothpaste, squirted some into my mouth, rolled it around, then spit it back out. I gave my mirror a toothy smile, showing perfectly white pearly whites. Even Minuette was jealous of my smile. She never said so, but I know better.

For dinner, I made myself a bowl of salad from the shower, with fresh dressing from the sink. Vinaigrette tonight. Shame; I was hoping for Thousand Island. Ah well. At least the grape juice from the faucet was good.

Once that was taken care of, I was ready to head off for the alley. I gave one last look at my wall of photos, bearing the images of my best friends, smiling at me from their frames.

“See you soon, everypony,” I said, wondering where that humming sound came from.

Then, I blew a raspberry to the ceiling. With a short raspberry of its own, the bedroom light winked out, and I left the room. I was about to meet this human everypony had been talking about for the past few days. I wondered what he was like. I wondered...what he’d think of a pony like me.

> The Crystal Empire
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Running flat-out like this in such cold weather was probably not the smartest thing I’d ever done. However, I wasn’t even thinking about that. I had to grab my Canterlot gear and head off as soon as I could. If Ironmane needed me to meet him and the council, it had to be something urgent. And what about this ‘test’ Twilight was talking about? Princess Celestia wanted her to take some kind of exam? Well, she was still a student, technically. Still, the way Twilight was panicking about it disconcerted me.

“Hi, Davie!”

I barely saw Pinkie as I dashed past her. I had half a mind to stop and turn back to talk to her, to excuse myself for so rudely running past her without speaking, but there was no need. To my astonishment, Pinkie caught up to me, bouncing backwards, so that she could keep her eyes on me! She did this with perfect ease, as if she were doing her usual forward bouncing. She was like Mater, the ‘world’s best backwards driver’, but she probably had her Pinkie Sense to warn her of stuff behind her in lieu of rearview mirrors.

“Hi, Pinkie!” I panted as I ran. “Sorry about running past like that, but I’m in a big hurry!”

“Ohh, okey-dokey,” said Pinkie. “I just wanted to know how it was in Cloudsdale.”

“Better than I could have expected,” I said, and Pinkie beamed. “Listen, Pinks, I have to get ready for an impromptu trip to Canterlot. Dunno when I’ll be back. Twilight’s being given a test or something from Princess Celestia, so she might be coming with me.”

“Oooh, neato!” said Pinkie. “I’m gonna go see Twilight and wish her luck, but I hope you have good luck too! See ya!”

“Bye!”

With that, Pinkie disappeared, bouncing forwards this time, as I ran past for home. I felt a twinge of guilt for leaving her again, especially when I’d promised her we could spend a whole day together doing whatever she wanted, just the two of us. I didn’t like to think I was seeing my best friend less and less, but I couldn’t help wondering.

I finally reached home and stopped to catch my breath. My lungs and throat felt ragged from panting icy-cold air, and I couldn’t help coughing as I leaned against the house. Guess I’d overdone it.

“Hi, Dave!”

I looked up. Moonlight was trotting over to me, looking slightly concerned.

“Oh! Hey...Moonlight,” I panted. “How...are you?”

“I’m fine,” said Moonlight, “but what about you? You look like you just ran a marathon.”

“Yeah, I...I’m ok,” I said, with a slight cough. “Just...had to run home. Urgent call from Canterlot.”

“From Canterlot? You mean you have to go see Minister Ironmaiden?”

“Ironmane,” I corrected, unable to suppress a chuckle at her mispronunciation. “Yes, him and the rest of the council. Also, I think Princess Celestia is giving Twilight a test.”

“Oh really?” asked Moonlight. “At the same time as your meeting?”

“I’m not sure, but I think so,” I said. “I just hope she doesn’t stress herself out too hard. She didn’t look too good when I left the library.”

“Oh, I’m sure she’ll be all right,” said Moonlight. “She wouldn’t be Princess Celestia’s student if she couldn’t cope with a simple test.”

“Yeah, I suppose you’re right,” I said.

Both of us looked toward Ponyville, toward the library. At that exact instant, there was a ground-shaking, ear-vibrating explosion, punctuated by what sounded like a growl of intense frustration, in a voice I recognized too well. Stunned, both of us watched as a massive, tree-like shape rose into the air, its roots dangling below it untethered to the ground, then come to Earth again with a reverberating thud. Several silent seconds passed before we looked at each other, and it was plain that Moonlight was thinking the same thing I was.

“Well, er, I’d better get ready. I’m not sure when I’ll be back, since I don’t know what’s in store.”

“All right,” said Moonlight. “Good luck!”

“Thanks.”

I headed inside, and without further ado, changed into my Canterlot attire: my suit, hat, and cane. Just in case this was an overnight thing, I packed a change of clothes with pajamas, the new Daring Do book Twilight had just lent me, and my completed essay on the creatures of Equestria. I could hardly believe my fortune: I was going to Canterlot when I’d already made plans to. Then again, perhaps I ought to be careful what I wish for.

I left a note for Lyra and Bon Bon, telling them I’d be away for an indefinite period of time, then, after making sure I had everything I needed on me, left the house and made for the train station.


***


As I’d theorized, Twilight was joining me on the way to Canterlot, along with Spike. My unicorn pal didn’t look too well; her face was slightly green, her pupils were contracted, and she was biting her lower lip. Her saddlebags were crammed full of scroll paper, quills, and books. Spike was standing by, eyeing Twilight with deep concern.

“Is she all right?” I whispered to him.

“Not exactly,” Spike whispered back. “She’s really nervous, not knowing what sort of test Princess Celestia’s gonna give her. I’m guessing you saw what happened with the library earlier?”

“Yeah, what in the world was that? I thought someone set off a bomb!”

“Errr, you could say that,” said Spike, uneasily. “I kinda told Twilight it was ‘just a test’.”

At these words, Twilight shot Spike the filthiest, most intimidating stink-eye I’d ever seen, and her horn sparked dangerously. Spike cringed back, and Twilight finally looked away again.

“Scary,” I murmured.

“Tell me about it. I’m supposed to quiz her on the trip, so I hope you won’t be too upset about being left to yourself.”

“Nah,” I said. “I completely respect Twilight’s need to concentrate. Besides, I don’t want her blowing up on me.”

The train arrived not too long after. Twilight stumbled in, unsteady on her hooves, while Spike helped keep her steady, handing her ticket to the conductor. I followed after and started heading for a seat away from them, to give them privacy. 

“Where are you going?!”

Twilight’s sharp, unnaturally shrill voice made me freeze in my tracks, or maybe that was the magical tug at my arm.

“You’re going to need to learn this too!”

Before I knew what was happening, I was forcibly pulled back to the seats Twilight and Spike had chosen, and was plunked down across from them. Twilight levitated a large stack of flashcards out of her bags and set them beside Spike, who took a bundle of them in his claws. He gave me a look that plainly said, ‘Sorry, man’, and I gave the cards an apprehensive look. I was grateful for Twilight tutoring me during my essays, but that huge pile of flashcards, and that look on her face, gave me a feeling of absolute dread. Now, I knew what it felt like to feel underprepared for a test, no matter how much I thought I knew, but I at least had known what subject the test was for. Twilight didn’t seem to have a clue, and that was worse. Even more so was the fact that she was subjecting me to it as well!

With a whistle from the engine, the train doors banged shut, and we started off toward Canterlot.


***


“What was Star Swirl’s greatest achievement in the 4th Celestial Year of Peace?”

“Creating the amniomorphic spell!”

“What is the square root of 169?”

“13!”

“Describe Isaac Neighton’s third law.”

“For every action, there’s an equal and opposite reaction!”

“Describe Steve Irwhinny’s advice on dealing with hydras.”

“A hydra is only as strong as its weakest head!”

At last, at long last, we arrived in Canterlot. About time, too; I felt I was about to go bonkers…

We departed from the train, making for the castle. Despite the confidence and readiness she had answered her questions with,Twilight seemed to grow paler and paler as we went, her legs unsteady and wobbly. Spike stood right by her side, most likely to make sure she didn’t suddenly collapse in the streets, and we soon came to the main gate of the castle, where the two guards stood.

“Ah, Twilight Sparkle, Councilstallion Dave. Please, proceed.”

They stood aside as we went through. It was definitely a much better reception than what I’d received the first time I’d come to the castle. At the entrance, a unicorn guard stood at the top of the steps.

“Councilstallion Dave?” he inquired.

“That’s me,” I said, tipping my hat.

“Minister Ironmane has asked me to escort you to the council room. If you will follow me, please.”

I turned to Twilight, since it looked like we’d be parting ways here.

“Good luck, Twi.”

Twilight looked at me and gave me a weak smile, more of a grimace than anything, and I followed the guard inside, while Twilight headed off down another corridor, Spike sitting down on the steps outside to wait.


***


Within minutes, the guard had brought me straight to the door of the council room I’d visited only once before, just after Nightmare Night. He bowed and took his leave, and I stepped inside. Everyone else had already been assembled: Minister Ironmane, Cornelius, Eagle Eye, Sure Shot, Apollo, Rolling Stone, Rock Solid, and Brutus. It had been quite a while since I’d seen all of them together, and I’d nearly forgotten what they looked like, except for Ironmane and Eagle Eye. The only thing that seemed out of place was the absence of Princess Cadence. She was nowhere in sight.

“Ah, David,” said Ironmane, spying me. “Good timing. Please, be seated.”

I obeyed and took my spot next to Brutus, where I’d sat last time. I looked around at the other council members, who looked mildly pleased to see me.

“Hello, everyone,” I said. “I hope the holidays treated you well.”

“Very much so,” said old Cornelius. “An old donkey like me has no greater pleasure than seeing his children and grandchildren on Hearth’s Warming.”

“And besides that,” said Rolling Stone, “we thank you for your generous gift.”

“Yeah, thanks, kid,” said Sure Shot. “This Bon Bon really knows her stuff. Best chocolate I’ve tasted since I was just a colt.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed it,” I said, “and thanks for the calligraphy set. And Apollo, thanks also for the grapes.”

“Oh, it was my pleasure, my dear boy,” said Apollo, graciously. “In fact-”

But Ironmane cleared his throat, and Apollo shut his beak. The doors to the chamber had swung open, and there stood Princess Luna, looking very grave. All eyes fell upon her as she entered and took her seat in Cadence’s vacated spot. She didn’t even look my way as she did so, her eyes fixed upon Minister Ironmane.

“I thank you all for your promptness,” he said. “I must, however, ask you to reserve your small-talk for now. The matter about which I have summoned you all here is one that could impact all of Equestria, and thus requires complete and serious attention.”

He closed his eyes for a brief moment. He seemed to be steeling himself for what he was about to say.

“The Crystal Empire has returned.”

A palpable ripple fell over all of us. The other members looked from each other to Ironmane in astonishment, all except Luna, who seemed to have been prepared for this news. My eyes, however, strayed to one of the empty seats at the table, one I remembered Ironmane talking about last time…

“Minister,” I asked, “isn’t that where-?”

“Yes,” said Ironmane, with a nod. “It was the homeland of one of our former delegates, who has sadly departed us. The Empire has also, if you recall me saying so, been absent from the face of the earth for a millenium.”

“Why, though?” asked Apollo, drawing all eyes on him. “Forgive me for asking, Minister, but until you’d told me about our former delegates when I was first appointed a member of the council, I’d never even heard of the Crystal Empire.”

“Neither had I,” said Eagle Eye.

“Me neither,” said Sure Shot.

“Nor I,” said Rolling Stone.

“It is not surprising,” said Cornelius, sagely. “Few remember that the Crystal Empire ever existed at all. Why, even I, as a historian, know only scraps of its legacy.”

“Even we know little about the state of the Empire itself,” Luna said, “but I shall tell you its tale, and how we come to be where we are now.”

All of us listened raptly as Luna began, not simply a narrative, but a reenactment of what happened to the Crystal Empire, with abundant application of her ‘Royal Canterlot Voice’. I’m not sure she intended for it to be amusing, but hearing her shout out laser onomatopoeia when describing her and Celestia’s escapades made me come dangerously close to bursting out laughing. 

“And LO, as our final assault laid him low, Sombra let out his last ‘Noooooooooo!’”

I sat there, mouth agape, as Luna concluded. It was a lot to take in, and quite the performance. The other delegates applauded, and I joined in a second later, still feeling at a loss.

“But this should be a good thing, right?” asked Brutus. “The Crystal Empire coming back, I mean.”

“It should, but not until we are certain it is secure,” said Luna. “The magic of the Empire must not fall into the wrong hooves, or the repercussions would be catastrophic.”

“Why?” I asked. “What’s the Empire’s magic?”

“It is crucial to know this,” said Luna, heavily. “If the Empire is filled with hope and love, those feelings are reflected across all of Equestria. But, if it is filled with hatred and fear…”

She didn’t finish, and didn’t need to. I knew what she was getting at, and the thought was chilling.

“So then what are we waiting for?” asked Rock Solid, indignantly. “Why are we wasting our time sitting here when the Empire is out there unprotected?”

To my astonishment, Ironmane actually grinned.

“My good minotaur,” he said, “I appreciate the bodyguard’s spirit you carry, but much of your anxiety may be put to rest. Has anypony noticed the absence of Her Highness, Princess Cadence?”

All eyes fell on the seat now occupied by Princess Luna, and I suddenly understood in a flash.

“Are you saying she’s gone to protect the Empire, Minister?” I asked. “All by herself?”

“Not by herself, David,” said Ironmane. “Her husband, Prince Shining Armor, is with her. Princess Celestia has alerted them to the Empire’s return, and they have gone on ahead to secure it. They will hold down the fort, so to speak, until Twilight Sparkle accomplishes what the Princess requires of her.”

“Twilight?” I asked, surprised. “Princess Celestia’s sending her to protect the Empire as well?”

“Indeed,” said Luna, “as well as her friends from Ponyville. As they represent the Elements of Harmony, the duty of securing the Crystal Empire from invasion falls upon their shoulders.”

I couldn’t believe it! Was this the test Princess Celestia had planned for Twi? Protecting an entire empire? Good Lord! If this was what her normal tests were like, it’s no wonder she was so nervous. I hope those flash cards helped out somehow.

“You said the Empire could fall under invasion, Your Highness,” said Brutus. “I hope you’re not suggesting what I think you are.”

“I’m afraid I am, Brutus,” said Luna, gravely. “We have reason to believe that when the Empire returned, a certain somepony may have as well.”

I felt a chill run down my spine at these words. This Sombra guy was back too? And Twilight and the others were supposed to keep him away from the Empire? This was too much!

“And so are we just supposed to sit here while my friends are off protecting an entire empire from some shadow-king?!”

The words were out of my mouth before I could stop myself, and I’d even risen from my seat, blood burning. All eyes were on me now, and as my wave of anger receded, I felt embarrassed, and sat down again, not daring to look Ironmane or Luna in the eye.

“Forgive me, Minister, Your Highness,” I said, humbly. “That was out of line.”

“You’re forgiven, David,” said Ironmane, calmly. “I understand your agitation, but we are delegates, not soldiers. We have orders to remain in Canterlot until we receive news of the Empire’s security.”

“But how long could that take?” asked Eagle Eye.

“We are not certain,” said Luna. “We merely asks that all of you remain stationed within Canterlot until such news reaches us. You are all at liberty to go about the city, but none of you may leave it.”

“If I may ask, Your Highness,” Cornelius piped up, creakily, “what are you and Princess Celestia intending to do in the meantime?”

“My sister and I shall do likewise, and await the news,” said Luna. “If it comes to the point where we must repel Sombra yet again, we shall be ready with a...more permanent solution.”

She and Celestia would be preparing a contingency in case Sombra won? I didn’t even want to think about what that would mean...

“A fine thing it’d be for Canterlot’s citizens to see me taking an afternoon stroll through the streets,” said Brutus, with a tone of irony. “I’m sure we’d be the best of friends.”

“Joke if you must, Brutus,” said Ironmane, “but those are the orders. After we have received our desired correspondence, we will decide our next course of action. Are we all clear?”

The other members gave varied signs or sounds of assent. It took me quite a bit, as my throat felt dry from what I was feeling at the moment, but I finally said, in a low voice,

“Yes, Minister.”

“Very well. We will close this meeting by handing out your assignments in the meantime.” 

With a glow from his horn, a stack of papers rose into the air, and he began doling out sheets to all of us. Looking down at the one I had received, I saw that it read:

‘Prepare statement of address for citizens of hometown/country. Spread the word of the Crystal Empire. Research using the archives for background. Submit for approval by the crown when completed.'

Statement of address? I had to write a speech for Ponyville about the Empire?’

“With that done, this meeting, for the time being, is adjourned.”

Though he had none, I could almost hear the pounding of a judge’s gavel in my head to signify the end of the meeting. Though most of the council got to their hooves, I remained in my seat, too absorbed in my thoughts to process much else. However, due possibly to some trick of my imagination, I fancied I heard someone singing outside the castle. It sounded like...Twilight. 

The other members were beginning to disperse, most likely to arrange their own temporary living quarters during this sequestering. Seeing Minister Ironmane again, however, reminded me of something, and I fished around in my saddlebag until I pulled out my completed essay. Stepping over, I held it out for him.

“My essay, Minister,” I said. “I figured this would be as good a time as any to hand it in to you.”

“Thank you, David,” said Ironmane, taking it up in his magic. “I shall look it over when my schedule is more agreeable with me, but right now I must speak with the princesses and Brutus on a few matters. If you will excuse me.”

He strode out of the council room, Brutus and Princess Luna following. Everyone else was already leaving, some of them talking amongst themselves. I had one chance: if Twilight hadn’t left yet, I could still see her, wish her good luck...hope she came out of this alive. With this in mind, I bolted from the council room.


***


If Bon Bon didn’t give me credit for getting so much exercise in, I didn’t know what would satisfy her. I ran through the streets of Canterlot, trying to find some trace of Twilight or Spike, but there was no familiar shade of purple amongst the ponies in the streets, who stared at me as I dashed past them. I paid them no mind; I just had to find those two before they left. I couldn’t leave Canterlot now, so this was my only chance to speak to them for who knows how long!

It wasn’t until I reached the train station, my legs nearly screaming with protest, and my lungs full of icy air, that I saw them. A train was standing there, ready to depart, and I could just see Twilight’s straight-cut tail disappearing through a car door, which slammed shut soon after. With a whistle, the engine’s pistons began to move, and the train began to roll away. I was too late!

“Wait!” I yelled, coughing from my run at the same time. “Wait! Stop!”

But the train didn’t stop. It rolled right on past. Desperately, I looked through the windows as the cars rattled by, but I didn’t see any face that resembled Twilight’s or Spike’s from where I was standing. All I could do was watch, a sinking feeling in my heart, as the train gathered speed and left Canterlot, disappearing on the horizon.

She was gone.

The others would be gone too.

They were off to the Crystal Empire while I was stuck here in Canterlot.

I hadn’t even gotten to say goodbye…

“Goodbye, girls,” I whispered to the winter air. “Goodbye, Spike. Good luck, and stay safe…”

It wasn’t the same.

Who knew how long it would be until I heard back from any of them? It might be days, even weeks...Weeks without any means of contact between my closest pony friends. Again, I thought of Pinkie and the strained promise hanging between us. Would we be able to have our day together after all of this? When would we even see each other again? It was agony to think of such things…

“There you are, old boy!”

With the soft thud of paws and clatter of talons, Apollo landed beside me.

“I saw you running like a madpony through the streets,” he said. “What was that about?”

“Nothing,” I said, hollowly. “I just hoped I’d be able to say goodbye to Twilight before she left, but I just missed her.”

“Oh,” said Apollo, sounding sympathetic. “I’m sorry to hear that, David. She means a lot to you, doesn’t she?”

“She’s one of my best friends,” I said, “and I didn’t even get to see her off, or even wish her good luck…”

I felt Apollo put one taloned paw on my shoulder.

“Don’t let it bog you down, my dear fellow. They’re made of stern stuff, Twilight Sparkle and her friends. They shan’t fail.”

I heard what he said, but made no answer. I was numb both from the cold and the shock of my disappointment at missing Twilight and Spike by a hair.

“Come along, David,” said Apollo, gently. “Some of the other council members are going for a pick-me-up in the Hayflower. Care to join us?”

“Thanks, but I don’t drink,” I said, still hollowly.

“The company would do you good,” Apollo persisted.

Well, I had nothing better to do, stranded as I was here. Even if not for alcohol, I at least wouldn’t have to be alone.

“Lead the way,” I said, with a sigh.

“That’s the spirit,” said Apollo, bracingly, and he started off briskly while I followed, stiffly and numbly, in his wake.


***


As Apollo had promised, he took me to the Hayflower, one of those taverns that had the look of an older age gone by, where we joined Sure Shot and Eagle Eye. Cornelius, Rock Solid, and Rolling Stone were nowhere to be seen, probably engaged elsewhere, and Brutus was most likely still at the castle. Sure Shot footed the bill for the drinks, and even shot down (no pun intended) my attempt to pay for my root beer. From there, the party was absorbed in lively, jovial conversation, except for me. I just sat there, sipping my drink, still absorbed in my gloomy thoughts, while Apollo kept up a long-running discourse, a mug held in the talons of one eagle paw while the other gesticulated in the air.

How could they be so cheerful after what we’d just sat through? The safety of an empire whose magic could impact all of Equestria was hanging in the balance, its fate resting on six ponies embodying friendship itself, a baby dragon, an alicorn princess, and her unicorn husband, with the menace of a shadow unicorn hanging over them. Didn’t they understand the seriousness this situation merited? Then again, they’d been members of this council longer than I had, so obviously they knew a lot more than I did. That didn’t change the fact that it was torturous to just sit here, stewing in my anxieties.

“What do you think, David?”

These words jerked me out of my thoughts and back to reality. All three of my fellow council members were looking at me expectantly.

“Er, I’m sorry, what was the question?” I asked.

Apollo frowned slightly, as if annoyed that I hadn’t been hanging on his every word. Fortunately, his features relaxed again, and he said,

“We were just discussing our opinions on where the Equestria Games ought to be held this year.” 

The what?...

“I keep tellin’ ya, ‘Pollo, it’s Manehattan for sure,” said Sure Shot. “The Yancolt Stadium’s the perfect venue.”

“Manehattan already had its turn to host the Games,” interposed Eagle Eye. “Cloudsdale should have hosted them long ago, but Fillydelphia stole that from us.”

“And how are all us non-wingers supposed to get up there and compete, huh?” asked Sure Shot, folding his forelegs and raising an eyebrow. “Ever think of that?”

“If we hadn’t had a way of arranging it properly, we wouldn’t even be on the ballot, smart-aleck,” retorted Eagle Eye.

“Now, now,” said Apollo, holding up his talons in a show of majestic placation. “We are all inclined to feel a little pride in our hometowns, nothing wrong with that, but let us be mature about it. What do you suggest, then, David?”

“What are the Equestria Games, first of all?” I asked.

My three peers looked astonished.

“You’ve never heard of the Games?” Eagle Eye asked. 

“What kinda rock have you been livin’ under, kid?” asked Sure Shot.

(A rock called ‘my home world’.)

“We don’t have anything called that back home,” I said, “so I’ve never heard of them.”

“Ah, I see,” said Apollo. “Well, the Equestria Games is the biggest sporting event in all of Equestria: a biennial affair where ponies and griffons from all over the land come together to compete for honor and glory in various athletic events.”

“Ohhh, I see,” I said, comprehending. “We do have something like that back home, called the Olympics.”

“Capital!” said Apollo. “So, then, do you know of any city or town that you believe should host the Games this year?”

No, I didn’t. Not besides the obvious choice, anyway.

“Honestly, the only city I’ve ever gotten to know is Ponyville,” I said, shrugging. “I don’t really know a stadium where they could hold the Games, since the closest I’ve ever seen is the race track where they held the Junior Derby, but it might be cool to see something like that held there.”

To my annoyance, Sure Shot stifled a laugh.

“What’s so funny?” I asked.

“Nothin’, nothin’,” said Sure Shot, though he was still grinning. “I’ve got nothin’ against Ponyville, kid, trust me, but it’d be hard-pressed to land the Games.”

“Sure Shot’s right, sorry to say,” said Eagle Eye. “It’s been a long time since Ponyville was even on the selection ballot, so I doubt we’ll see it land the Games anytime soon.”

“Well, you never know,” I said, feeling a rush of angry pride for my surrogate home. “It might just surprise you this year!” 

I knew they weren’t trying to be mean, but their knowing smirks aggravated me, especially in my current state of anxiousness about Twilight and the others.

“What do you all suggest, then?” I asked, hotly. “The Crystal Empire, maybe? Might make for a nice treat for them after being gone 1000 years!”

I was only trying to be ironic, really. The others just stared at me, then burst into a hearty fit of laughter.

“Oho, you’ve got a fine bit of wit, my boy!” Apollo said, wiping his eye. “It would indeed be a fine bit of recompense for the poor souls living in the Empire to be able to host the Games! Good heavens, that was a good one!”

“Glad to be of service,” I said, dryly.

I went back to my root beer while the others were recovering from their laughter. I wish I hadn’t brought up the Crystal Empire; it only brought fresh thoughts of the uncertainty my friends were rushing towards into my brain.

Eventually, another idea came to me, and I broke my ‘vow of silence’ again.

“By the way, what are you guys going to do here in Canterlot?” I asked. “I mean, who could have predicted having to be sequestered here for who knows how long?”

“Not us, certainly,” said Apollo, “but we will gladly stay either at the Mareiot or in the castle itself, whichever pleases Her Majesty. We griffons are known not only for our endurance while flying, but for our adaptability, and I shall be content with either option, so long as it serves beneficially to Princess Celestia.”

(Jeez, is every question an invitation for you to start another filibuster?)

“I’ll stick with the Mareiot,” said Eagle Eye. “No offense, but I don’t think a castle suite would suit me. Too fancy for my blood.”

“I hear ya, Eagle,” said Sure Shot. “What about you, Dave?”

“Me? Well, I’ve stayed in both on previous visits to Canterlot, so I’ll be fine with either.”

“Capital,” said Apollo again.

From there, I let them resume their previous conversations, while I focused on my root beer. I only had one change of my clothes and one book, and no idea how long we were to wait. This wasn’t going to be very much fun.

> An Evening Talk with Celestia
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Some time later, the four of us left the Hayflower, and Apollo, Eagle Eye, and Sure Shot went off to walk around Canterlot, while I made my way back to the castle. I didn’t know why, but perhaps I could ask Ironmane or one of the princesses what I should do during this time. I was under-packed and unprepared for a wait that could turn into days or weeks, so perhaps they could lend me guidance.

I had just stepped into the main foyer of the castle when a voice I recognized well rang out.

“Hello again, Sir Dave.”

It was Princess Luna. She looked even more careworn than before, but she still smiled at the sight of me, which was very welcome. I approached her and bowed.

“Hello, Princess Luna,” I said. “I hope this isn’t a bad time.”

“No, no, my young friend,” Luna said. “I hope you will forgive me for my less-than-warm appearance during the meeting. My mind is still wrought with turmoil over the Crystal Empire.”

“I understand, Your Highness,” I said. “You’re worried about Twilight too, then?”

“Certainly,” said Luna. “But I am most worried for the Empire itself. Its magic is very powerful, and I dread it falling into the wrong hooves, as it did when Sombra took it over. My sister places immense trust in Twilight Sparkle, and I do not wish to contradict her, but I still dread the consequences if she should fail her task.”

“Please don’t say that, Your Highness,” I said, uneasily, feeling a painful twinge in my stomach. The last thing I wanted was to think about Twilight failing this ‘test’.

“I apologize, Sir Dave. Was there something you needed?”

“Huh? Oh, right! I wanted to find you, Princess Celestia, or Minister Ironmane and ask where I should stay while we wait for news.”

“Oh, that can be easily arranged,” said Luna. “Minister Ironmane is making plans with my sister to arrange a suite appropriate to accommodate Gilli Brutus.”

“Gilli Brutus?” I asked, perplexed.

“He is a high-ranking member of the draconic hierarchy, as he is fond of telling us,” said Luna, a touch of dryness in her voice. “In any case, we can easily grant you a suite here, as we did when you arrived to be appointed as a member of the council.”

“That would be wonderful, Your Highness,” I said, gratefully, “but I feel unprepared all the same. I only have one change of clothes with me, since I didn’t know how long I would be here.”

“Oh, yes,” said Luna. “Humans are rather fixated on physical modesty, are they not? I recall hearing my sister talk about the interview you conducted with Twilight Sparkle months ago.”

“Yes, Princess,” I said.

“Well, we could appoint our royal tailors to make you a few suits of clothes during your stay. If you wouldn’t mind lending them your spare garments, I guarantee they can make you suitable articles in their likeness.”

“Well, I suppose,” I said, unsure.

It wasn’t that I didn’t want more clothes. It was just, it felt uncomfortable entrusting my undergarments to strangers. I’d gotten used to Rarity reproducing them, but this? Still, I guess we all had to make due with what was available in certain circumstances, so I drew out my folded change of clothing from my saddlebag, which was still hung over my shoulder like a mailbag.

“Very good,” said Luna, before raising her voice. “Guard!”

A pegasus guard appeared swiftly, bowing his head respectfully to Princess Luna.

“You called, Your Highness?” he asked.

“Have these clothes delivered to Haber and Dasher, and request that they make at least three sets similar in make,” said Luna, levitating the clothes to the guard. “When they have finished, have them report to me or my sister, and we will arrange their delivery to Sir Dave’s suite. They shall be paid handsomely for this project.”

“As you request, Your Highness,” said the guard.

He tucked the clothes under his wing, bowed to Luna again, then took his leave.

“Thank you very much, Princess,” I said.

“It is nothing, Sir Dave,” said Luna. “Now, if you will excuse me, I must go and get some rest, but I shall have somepony escort you. Guard!”

At this second command, an Earth pony guard appeared and bowed.

“Please take Sir Dave to the suite he occupied when he first came to Canterlot.”

“Yes, Your Highness,” said the guard.

“Until we meet again, Sir Dave,” said Luna.

“Goodbye, Your Highness,” I said.

“Oh, by the way,” she added, turning back to look at me with another smile, “thank you kindly for the pillow at Hearth’s Warming. It’s wonderful.”

“You’re very welcome, Princess,” I said. “And thank you for the book.”

Luna was about to leave, when a sudden idea came to me.

“Princess!” I said, abruptly.

She turned to look at me curiously.

“Do you think...do you think you could ask your sister to send Twilight and the others a message from me, via Spike? Some words of encouragement, you know?”

Luna gazed at me for a few seconds, then smiled gently.

“Of course I will,” she said. “Goodbye then, Sir Dave.”

“Thank you, Princess.”

With that, the two of us parted, the guard leading me off down a corridor. Well, my clothing issue was put at ease, but my worries about my friends hadn’t been abated that much, even with my words of encouragement. It could be said they had actually increased, hearing Luna talk about Twilight possibly failing. I couldn’t help wondering if being the princess in charge of the night had something to do with such pessimism.


***


Despite my earlier visits to Canterlot, I had definitely not accomplished even half of everything there was to do in this royal capital. However, at present, there was nothing I even wanted to do. I barely even had an appetite for lunch or dinner throughout that day, being so sick with agitation. For two or three days, when I wasn’t shut up in my room or the library, I either wandered the streets aimlessly, not even seriously taking in the sights, or lay on my bed in a stupor of listless malaise. Not even Daring Do could take my mind off of the girls and the Empire, and when not even Daring Do could distract me, then we had a problem.

I could have borne all of this if I had a familiar face to spend the time with. I’d enjoyed Canterlot so much more because Twilight, Rainbow, and Moonlight had been with me, but now I was alone and without direction. I’d endeavored to try and spot my fellow council members, but for whatever reason, I saw neither hide nor hair of any of them. They must have been busy with their own affairs and their own speeches to prepare. I would have been glad to even catch sight of Octavia, but she was nowhere to be found on the streets, either. 

I felt utterly isolated. If I’d just been able to see the girls and Spike one last time, to wish them goodbye and good luck, but no, I’d missed my chance. All I could do was send them belated words of encouragement. They were gone, and I didn’t know when I’d be able to see them again. I hadn’t felt this crushed since I first realized I was far from home and unable to reach my family, but this time, there was no Pinkie to comfort me, none of her warm hugs or nuzzles to soothe my emotional aches. This had to be the one of the worst days of my life here in Equestria.


***


Two days after the meeting, I was sitting at a table in the Canterlot library, a piece of parchment spread out before me, and a bottle of ink and quill beside that. I was trying desperately to bully my brain into thinking up a proper speech to give to Ponyville. With my inner turmoil, however, the words just didn’t want to come. The worst thing about writer’s block was having it when you were on a time limit, even if a due date hadn’t been set yet, and that was even worse. The Empire could be saved by tomorrow and I’d have nothing to present!

“‘My fellow Ponyvillians, four score and a thousand years ago’...No, no, that’s too corny. Er…‘Mares, stallions, foals, lend me your ears’...No, no…‘When, in the course of pony events, it becomes necessary to’...Gah! Knock it off, Dave! That’s just plagiarism!”

“Something wrong, David?”

I looked up. Cornelius was walking slowly over to my table, a book held under one leg. I must have shouted that pretty loud.

“Hello, Cornelius. Was I disturbing you?”

“No, no, my dear boy. I’m afraid my hearing isn’t always what it used to be these days. You look troubled, though. Anything I can help you with?”

“Maybe you can,” I said, gloomily. “I haven’t got a clue what I’m supposed to say to Ponyville about the Crystal Empire. I’ve never written a speech before, and I don’t know if I can start now. Even remembering old speeches from famous people doesn’t help. Besides, I’ve got too much on my mind.”

My head felt heavy and sore as I said this, and I stared dismally at the stubbornly blank piece of paper sitting before me. After a few moments of silence, Cornelius said,

“Now, now, let’s have none of that. You’re hardly the first who has had writer’s anxiety, and you won’t be the last. Think about it, boy. Think about what this means. This speech will impact hundreds, possibly even tens of hundreds of ponies back where you come from.”

“And that’s the problem!” I said. “How can I write knowing it’ll be judged by-”

“Don’t worry about how others will judge it,” said Cornelius, an edge of impatience in his voice. “If every writer in the world waited in their homes for universal popularity, nearly all of them would be reclusive hermits, stuck hunched over their typewriters and quills. I myself have had my theories and perspectives challenged by other historians. I believe in what I write, but that does not mean everypony else will, and I’ve come to accept that. Think about how you yourself would put it into words, boy. I take it the ponies of Ponyville are your friends?” 

“A good many of them, yes,” I said.

“Well, then, write as if you were addressing all of them. They will understand. A good friend knows you speak from the heart about important matters, and a good speech is not just a product of the mind, but of the heart, as well.”

I sat in silence, staring into the wrinkled, wise face of this old donkey. He really did know his stuff about this kind of thing.

“And if you’re still troubled about Miss Sparkle and her friends,” he went on, “think of the effort they’re putting in to preserve the Empire. Don’t let their endeavors be in vain, boy. Do it for them!”

He tapped the table emphatically with his hoof at these words, then, with a nod of his head and a small smile, he moved on. I watched him disappear behind the shelves, then looked down at my blank piece of paper. What would I say, if I were addressing my friends back home? What would Moonlight, the Hooves’, the Apples, the Crusaders, Lyra, Bon Bon, my bowling pals...what would they expect me to say at a time like this?

As if a voice in my head was guiding me, I picked up my quill, dipped it in the ink, and started to write. It wasn’t quite a speech, more of a rough draft, but it was a start.

“‘My friends, we are on the brink of an event of astronomical proportions. It is my duty, honor, and privilege, to inform you all...’”


***


My bed was comfortable, but I was far from feeling so. As I lay beneath the covers, I tossed and turned, unable to settle on a satisfactory position. My mind was in a whirlwind of anxiety and torment, poisoning my very dreams.

One night, the day after I’d spoken to Cornelius in the library, I dreamt that I was standing before a city made of solid crystal, much like the Emerald City of Oz. The sun shone down on its glistening polished surfaces, dazzling my eyes. Then, all of a sudden, the skies clouded over, turning black and murky. A giant dark horse appeared, and began sucking the whole empire into its mouth.

“NO!”

I sat up, panting, my forehead bathed in sweat. My heart was thudding like mad beneath my pajamas. Why hadn’t Princess Luna saved me from that nightmare like she had the times before? Well, perhaps even she couldn’t see every dream at once, governing the whole night and all, or she was busy with anti-Sombra research of her own. Still, there was no way I could go back to sleep now. Without even knowing where I was going, I’d gotten up, shuffled to the door, and walked out into the castle hallway. Maybe a nocturnal wander would clear my head and tire me enough to go back to bed, but would I be able to, with this Empire business constantly on my mind?

I didn’t know how long I walked, but eventually, I heard a faint sound, like the rushing of wings. Then, all of a sudden, I felt as if my eyes were dazzled by a burst of sunlight. When it had subsided, I looked up to see a bird sitting on the nearest windowsill. It was large and thin, with vibrant red and orange plumage, making it look like a living flame more than anything. It cooed softly as it looked down at me with its yellow eyes.

“Hello there,” I said. “Where did you come from?”

I reached out a hand, tentatively, and it lowered its head toward me, allowing me to pet it. Its feathers were very warm.

“You’re a phoenix, aren’t you?” I asked. “So that’s how they look when they grow up.”

“David? Is that you?”

I froze. I knew that voice.

Sure enough, Princess Celestia came striding into view, her mane and tail flowing behind her like the aurora borealis. With a flutter of wings, the phoenix flew from the window and settled atop her back. Knees shivering, I bowed hastily.

“Y-Your Highness,” I stammered. “Forgive me, but I didn’t think you’d be up at this hour. I didn’t wake you with my pacing, did I?”

“Not at all,” said Celestia, kindly. “I just woke up myself and realized Philomena had wandered off.” 

“Philomena?” I asked. “Is that your phoenix?”

“That’s right. Say hello, Philomena.”

The phoenix gave a majestic, though soft, caw.

“She’s a beautiful bird,” I said.

“Thank you,” said Celestia, before she took on a tone of light, almost motherly, concern. “Is everything all right? You seem a bit out of sorts.”

“Y-Yes, Your Highness,” I muttered. “I just couldn’t sleep. I’m worried about Twilight and the others in the Crystal Empire.”

“I understand,” said Celestia, sympathetically. “I did send your words of encouragement along, but I realize it must be difficult for you, waiting to hear back from them. It hasn’t been easy for myself, either. However, I have complete faith in Twilight. She will not fail to do her part.”

A sort of warmth flowed into me as she said these words. It was as if her faith in Twilight was somehow flowing into me as well. It felt...comforting, as though her voice actually held the power to assuage doubt and fear.

“Actually,” said Celestia, “I’m feeling in the mood for a little midnight snack. Would you care to join me?”

“J-Join you, Princess?” I asked, surprised.

“Certainly. A little cake and cocoa might do you some good. It always does for me.”

It didn’t seem wise to say ‘no’ to a princess when she was making a polite offer, and I was still far from sleepy, so what else was there to say?

“I’d be grateful for the honor, Your Majesty,” I said, bowing again.

“Wonderful,” said Celestia, smiling. “Follow me, then.”

Still slightly dumbfounded, I followed the princess as she walked down the hall, Philomena perched majestically between her shoulders, like a kind of sentinel.


***


It would be hard to describe my feelings at this odd turn of events: sitting down to a slice of cake and cup of hot cocoa with Princess Celestia. How many other, er, common folk had the privilege of saying they also enjoyed such an honor? 

Celestia herself seemed perfectly unabashed about the whole situation, acting as if the two of us had been friends for years and were just sitting down to afternoon tea. Philomena sat by, nibbling at a bowl of bird seed. As for me, my thoughts were torn between my inexplicable fortune at sitting with Celestia, and the deliciousness of the food. The cocoa had a delicious, creamy flavor that I’d never tasted before, and the cake was so soft that it seemed to just melt away into delectable nothingness in my mouth. She really had it good if her pantry provided food like this. My enjoyment seemed to make itself plain on my face, as Celestia looked at me and giggled softly.

“It’s called cloud cake,” she said. “Only pegasi are able to bake it, but it’s a delicacy anypony can enjoy once completed. It’s the perfect pick-me-up after a hard day.”

“I’ll say,” I said. “This stuff’s amazing!”

I clapped a hand over my mouth hastily.

“Er, whoops. Sorry, Your Highness, I didn’t mean to shout.”

“It’s quite all right,” said Celestia. “I live with Luna, after all.”

“I was just reminded,” I said. “Dolly Tribune from the Ponyville Express told me you were fond of cake.”

“Did she now?” asked Celestia, pleasantly. “Yes, she was rather amused about it when I, *ahem*, ‘let it slip’. I’m very pleased to see that her writing has improved much since that story about you, David.”

“Ah, yes,” I said, with a sort of half-hearted laugh. “I still remember that. What I find interesting, though, is how you let her get away with it. I would have thought, as Equestria’s ruler, you wouldn’t tolerate jokes made about you.”

“I knew she was just having a little fun,” said Celestia. “And really, I want my subjects to know that I enjoy what they enjoy. Just because I’m a princess does not make me any less of a pony. I still love sweets as much as the next pony, and take my frustrations out on the bathroom scale when it doesn’t give me the answer I want.”

I was sipping cocoa when she said this, and very nearly spit it back out from laughter. As I wiped my face with a napkin, I had a brief mental image of Celestia, in a bathrobe, stamping on a bathroom scale with both front hooves. Still, it was hard to believe she was ever dissatisfied with her weight; she looked so lean, so regal.

“So, tell me about you, David,” Celestia went on. “How are things faring in Ponyville?”

“Very well, thanks,” I said. “Ponyville’s really started to feel like home, thanks to all the friends I’ve made there. Only…”

I paused. Remembering my old home made it difficult to want to go on. Celestia, however, looked like she understood.

“Only you still desire to know what goes on in your old home,” she finished.

“...Yes, Your Highness,” I muttered. “I know Twilight said she’s been looking for the right time to perform the spell, so I’m putting my trust in her for that. It’s difficult, but she and the others are making the whole thing bearable.”

Celestia smiled. However, being reminded of my world, the human world, reminded me of something else: the reason I had wanted to see Celestia in the first place. The trouble was, I couldn’t find the voice to speak it. All I could do was finish my piece of cake, enjoying every mouthful of it, and drink the last of my cocoa. When it looked like Celestia was finishing, however, the urge struck me harder than ever, and I had to ask.

“Princess?”

“Hmm?”

“There’s...there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask you, something that was on my mind before I was summoned to the castle.”

“Yes?”

I took a deep breath, steeling my nerves, then said,

“...I wanted to ask you about the humans of the past, the ones who visited Equestria long before me.”

I looked at Celestia. She didn’t react as if I’d just dropped a bombshell. She didn’t look shocked, worried, or angry, just faintly curious, as if she wanted me to go on.

“I was using the history book you and Princess Luna gave me for Hearth’s Warming -thanks very much for it, by the way, very useful -, and it was talking about a colony across the sea that was a major trading partner for Equestria, like with transporting domesticated orthros to them as pets.”

Celestia nodded knowingly, and I couldn’t help but wonder if she was proud of me for doing my homework.

“Well, I didn’t think much about it at first,” I went on, “until I was in Cloudsdale recently. An old pegasus professor mentioned the humans of the past, about how you and they enjoyed a long-lasting friendship...how it ended and they went back home across the seas.”

Celestia still said nothing, but I couldn’t help noting a hint of sadness in those rose-pink eyes of hers.

“So...I know it must be impudent of me to ask, Your Highness, but...I’d like to know what happened. I’m not saying it just because I feel like I deserve to know it, but because it’s an unsolved mystery in my head that won’t go away until I know the truth. I’ll understand, however, if you don’t think it’s right for me to know.”

I waited on tenterhooks for Celestia to speak again. Her expression was still vague and unreadable, but finally, she closed her eyes and gave a small sigh.

“You had asked me this question before, David,” she said, “when we first met. At the time, I was worried that you wouldn’t be ready for the truth, especially when you had spent such little time in Equestria. However, I can sense much change in you since we last met. You have truly taken the interests of this land and its citizens into consideration, heart and soul. I see no reason why, now, you should not know the truth. I will tell you what happened, so that you may understand.”

I felt my heart jump into my throat. She was actually going to tell me? I was finally going to know? What would happen when I did know, though?

“Come,” she said, standing up. “I know the proper place to discuss such matters.”

Numbly, I stood up with her. Philomena turned to look at her mistress.

“You don’t need to wait up for me, Philomena,” she said. “I’ll be along eventually.”

Philomena gave a soft coo, spread her wings, and took flight, soaring out the kitchen door. Celestia trotted out after her, and I took up the rear.


***


Celestia and I kept walking until we left the castle interior entirely, and came out onto the courtyard. The air was cool, smelling of earth and grass, and the moon, bright and full, hung in the sky, suspended in a pitch-black ocean of stars. As always, Luna had made a beautiful night sky.

Celestia said nothing as we walked on, until we came into a section dominated by stone statues. The area was softly lit by the moon and some firefly lanterns, casting these statues into soft, slightly eerie relief. One depicted three happy ponies balanced atop each other, and another showed a mare proudly carrying a real flag. I could also see a pegasus archer, a pony surrounded by a winding scroll, and another blowing a trumpet. 

In the very center, however, stood a statue that made me jump in shock. The creature it depicted looked like a serpentine dragon, but with the hodgepodge of limbs, wings, and horns it possessed, it looked like it had been constructed from several different statues, though it didn’t look like any patchwork had been done on it at all: no cracks, grooves, or anything. The creature’s expression was one of terror, as if frozen in the middle of witnessing something utterly horrifying. Yet, somehow, despite the oddity of it, it looked...familiar.

“Princess,” I said, tentatively, “isn’t this a statue of...Discord?”

“It is indeed,” said Celestia, calmly.

“But...who crafted it?” I asked. “Was Discord known for being easily scared?”

“No,” said Celestia, in a tone of grave irony, “Discord crafted this himself: a fine punishment for his arrogance.”

Celestia’s choice of words puzzled me, but then, I remembered Twilight telling me that when they fought back against Discord and defeated him, he was...turned back to stone.

A cold chill descended down my esophagus.

“Princess…are you saying that that statue...is Discord?”

“It is, but don’t worry,” said Celestia. “As long as the spell of the Elements holds, while Twilight and her friends wield them, that is, Discord cannot break free.”

“Oh. Good,” I said, relieved. “So, he can’t just. you know, pop out and start messing with ponies again?”

“He can’t even raise an eyebrow,” said Celestia. “Oh, wait!” she said, suddenly, looking surprised. “I think he just blinked!”

“What?!” I shouted, looking up into that frozen face, my heart going wild.

...But nothing had changed at all.

“Gotcha,” said Celestia, smirking.

She’d just been playing with me.

“Very...amusing, Your Highness,” I said, trying to sound calm, though my hand was plastered over my heart. “I can see I was right in sending you a basket of practical jokes.”

“Yes, indeed,” said Celestia. “Thank you very much for it. It was a very sweet, and welcome, gesture.”

“It was my pleasure,” I said.

“But come, David, we have much to discuss,” said Celestia, sounding more business-like.

“Er, right,” I said, my attention re-grabbed.

Celestia led me away from the statue of Discord, which I still couldn’t help glancing back at over my shoulder, out of paranoia.

“Don’t blink…” I muttered.

We came up to a long, low bench. She seated herself upon this, and I sat beside her. Celestia ran one gold-clad hoof across her smooth temple in thought.

“The only trouble lies in where to begin. When you have lived as long as I have, David, the years begin to blend together in some places. I hope you understand.”

“Er, yes, Your Highness,” I said, though I could never imagine living for more than 1,000 years, let alone being able to remember even a fraction of it.

“It happened in the years following Luna’s banishment. During that time, as I managed the affairs of two princesses at once, I began to become more acquainted with our neighbors across the sea. They were an important trading partner with us, as you said, and were a clever, resourceful race, despite having no means of producing magic themselves.

“I suppose it was that which drew their attention to us: the presence of a land which was home to ponies who could speak, fly, and use magic. They had no such creatures back where they came from, so they were understandably awed when we were introduced to one another. I had become acquainted with each of their kings and queens as the years went on, and I will admit we got on favorably. They were deeply interested in the workings of Equestrian society and how our magic worked, and I was more than happy to assist them in whatever I could. However, I could only do so much, both in the limits of my magic, and in the limits of my conscience.”

“What do you mean by that?” I asked.

“I mean that one without magic should not rely on it to solve all of their problems,” said Celestia. “It leads them into becoming too reliant, too dependant on it, and often leads to irrational or unpleasant behavior when depending on it for too long, like the effects of a substance addiction.”

“I see,” I said.

“I did not wish for them to solely rely on magic to cure all of their ills, but I fear that even as restrained as I made myself in that regard, it may still have been too much…”

A shadow passed over Celestia’s face as she closed her eyes for a moment, then re-opened them.

“It was during a meeting with their most recent leader at the time. He was, perhaps, more abrasive and hot-tempered than those before him, but I could still sense his dedication to his kinsmen, his desire to protect them. It seemed they were on the threshold of a great battle with another nation, one they had been having difficulties with for some time. Past attempts to pacify them had proved unprofitable, and so war seemed the only option for them. He came to me with a request: to use my magic and that of the unicorns to their advantage, to punish this enemy of theirs, and to smite them, if it comes to that.”

“Smite?” I repeated, aghast. “He wanted you to kill them??”

She nodded gravely.

“Of course, I would not condone such a horrid request. I told him that I would not expose my subjects to it, and that magic was not meant as a weapon or a quick-fix. I’m afraid he grew angry with me, saying that we were selfish, hoarding magic for ourselves, and that it should be shared with those who needed it. I again told him I would not allow it to be used as a tool of war and slaughter, but he would not listen. Then, he…”

Celestia paused, and a flicker of pain ran across her beautiful face. Was it me...or was there a hint of tears in her eyes?

“What?” I asked, afraid of what she was going to say. “What did he do?”

Celestia took a deep breath, then continued,

“He...attempted to make me obey him, as ‘a horse should obey its master’, he said.”

It was if someone had reached into my skull, grabbed my brain, and squeezed it like a Mad Ball. At the same time, I felt like the breath had been punched right out of me. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.

“He...he what?” I asked, horrified and angry at the same time.

“He said that I was just another steed, and that he would make me his mount, that he would ride me into battle, into victory. I was shocked, of course, unable to believe he was saying such things. And then, he...pulled out a whip. And he...”

No.

That was...no!

“He didn’t…” I said, barely able to keep my anger in check. “Tell me he didn’t…”

“He did,” said Celestia. “He was quite irascible in his fury. He was willing to harm me if I didn’t give him ‘what was rightfully his’, as he put it...I had no choice. I ordered my guards to restrain him and remove him from my sight. And that was the last I had ever heard from the humans across the sea."

"Y-You don't mean..."

"I'm not sure, David. They never again sought an audience with me. Whether they succeeded or lost, no news of it reached my ears, though I requested it. I hoped that, with time to cool off on both sides, we might have a second talk, and try to reach a better understanding. My attempts to contact them were in vain. They seemed to want nothing more to do with Equestria, so I respected their wishes, albeit with a heavy heart. It pained me that it had come to this, but there was nothing I could do. Ever since then, all I've heard are vague rumors of sightings, none of which have been proven.

“Per the High Equestrian Council’s suggestions, we omitted the full details of that terrible day from further prints of Equestrian history, and decided that it should only be privy to those within the royal court. Luna was not present when it happened, and I am grateful for it; she didn’t deserve to witness her sister receiving such treatment, though she was very angry when she learned the truth. To the rest of Equestria, the humans and I simply had a disagreement and parting of the ways. We did not wish to cause a scene with the full story, I most of all. They shouldn’t have had to learn what they would have been used for in their hands.”

I...I couldn’t believe this. He had tried to make Celestia obey him...he’d tried to make her his steed...he’d threatened to whip her...The very thought of someone being so cruel, so thoughtless to someone as kind and gentle as Princess Celestia...It made me want to travel back in time, find this jerk, and punch him right in the face!

“He deserved it,” I finally said, almost in a growl. “To think he’d do something so despicable to you...it makes my blood boil, even if he was a human! It’s inexcusable!”

I looked up into Celestia’s face. Her expression seemed neutral, but there was still a faint glimmer of tears in her eyes.

“...Thank you, David,” she said, finally. “I appreciate your sympathy for me. Do not let your anger fester, however. He was desperate, and desperation leads to hasty, often misguided, decisions. The way he went about it was still wrong, but to err is mortal.”

I still felt angry about it, but she was right. It was only human to make mistakes, even if the mistake itself was...that. It still didn’t make it any less wrong.

“Is that why Iron- er, excuse me, Minister Ironmane distrusted me, Princess?” I asked. “Because he thought I was like that human?”

Celestia looked at me for a long time, calmly, steadily, then said,

“He feared you might be. You see, before he became Minister of Foreign Affairs, Ironmane served as a guard. He very nearly had a terrible accident on the battlefield, but I saved him at the last second. He has since pledged eternal gratitude towards me, promising to repay the favor as long as he lives. Naturally, when he assumed his title as Minister, he was told of what the leader of the humans had done to me all those years ago, and he, like you, was infuriated that someone would dare to show such disrespect towards me. When you came along, then, it was as if his worst suspicions were confirmed, and he wanted to be sure you weren’t in a position to cause me any harm. 

“However, from what I had heard about you from Twilight, you were a kind, considerate soul, willing to live among the citizens of Ponyville for as long as was necessary, not at all like one who wanted to use magic for his own purposes. Also, from the transcript of the interview Twilight had sent me, it became apparent to me that you were not a descendant of the humans from across the sea, but from another world entirely. When Twilight requested an audience to situate you as a stipendiary, I felt I was willing to meet you in person, to see if you were truly trustworthy...and I was not disappointed. I am truly glad to have met you, David.”

She looked down at me with those tender, gentle eyes, and that kind, motherly smile of hers, and I felt my heart melt. Even though I was a human, a reminder of a dark time in her past, she trusted me. She trusted that I was nothing like the human who had threatened her, abused her...She had accepted me.

I didn’t know how it happened, but all of a sudden, my eyes wet but not running, I leant against her, as a companion might do with a close friend. She felt soft, comforting. It must have been extremely undignified to commit such an action on a royal personage, but my human weakness had forsaken me. I didn’t feel like Celestia was just a princess, but a pony, a friend.

Something warm enveloped me. Celestia had wrapped one of her forelegs and one of her wings around me in a gentle hug, pulling me closer to her side.

“Thank you,” I murmured, in a croaking voice. “Thank you, Celestia.”

“Discord, it’s impolite to eavesdrop,” said Celestia, casually.

I felt as if my heart was going to explode, it jumped so badly! I looked up, but Discord was still as motionless as ever. Celestia giggled beside me, her foreleg still clasped around me.

“Very amusing, Your Highness,” I muttered again, though I couldn’t help smiling this time.

> A Busy Week in Canterlot
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was awakened the next morning by a knock at my door. For a second, I thought I was back home, with Bon Bon pounding on the door to take me for another jog. However, when I went to answer, I saw that it was a unicorn guard.

“Councilstallion Dave?” he asked.

“Yes, that’s me,” I said, slightly puzzled.

“Princess Celestia asked me to deliver this to you,” said the guard, holding out a scroll of sealed parchment. “It only just arrived.”

‘Er, thanks,” I said, accepting it, while the guard bowed and left.

Now definitely confused, I took the scroll with me back to bed, sat down, and unrolled it. As soon as I read the first line, I felt a leap in my chest. It was Twilight’s writing!

“Dear Dave,
Thanks very much for your words of encouragement. We’re so sorry we didn’t get a chance to say goodbye before we left. We hope you aren’t too angry with us for not sticking around long enough, but time was of the essence. There’s too much going on to express in a simple letter, but we’ll say this: don’t worry about us. We’ll be okay. If all goes according to plan, the Empire should be protected against King Sombra, and we’ll be able to leave it in Cadence and Shining Armor’s hooves.
Hope you’re doing all right, and hope to see you soon.
Your friends,
Twilight, Pinkie, Applejack, Fluttershy, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, and Spike

Below that, in Pinkie’s writing, was a postscript.
PS: Wait until you see the Empire, Davie! It’s sparklerific!
-Pinkie

A warm, wonderful wave of relief and gratitude swept over me. My message had gotten to them. They’d responded. It was exactly what I’d been hoping for all this time.

My heart feeling lighter than it had done in days, I got up again to get dressed.


***


Besides finally knowing the truth, my evening with Celestia had done even more good. I couldn’t just continually dwell on thinking gloomy thoughts about the girls and Spike up in the Crystal Empire, especially after receiving a reply from them. I had to believe that they were going to come out all right, and I had to do my part for when that day came. I had to get my speech ready for Ponyville, welcoming them to the return of the Empire. And remembering what Cornelius had said, I had to think about what my friends would want to hear me say, not worry about creating a Pulitzer Prize-winning dissertation. Besides that, it made me too busy to focus too hard on the truths Celestia had told me that night.

Per Ironmane’s suggestion on the paper, I spent most of my time in the library, browsing around for any scrap of information related to the Crystal Empire. Such information was, sadly, scarce, despite the library attendants offering me as much help as they could.

“The Crystal Empire?” one of them asked, when I put the request to them. “I can’t remember hearing that name before you and the council started visiting this week. That’ll be in the History section, among our older volumes.”

“You mean the old hardcovers?” I asked. “I like a good paperback, but there’s something satisfying about opening up an older book that’s stood the test of time.”

“Oh, I quite agree,” said the assistant, grinning. “This way, then.”

Somehow, I had the feeling that, if the Empire had been preserved for 1,000 years, its own collection of books would remain intact. I had a similar feeling that, if that were the case, Ironmane would set me another assignment in writing about the Empire’s history from those sources. I wouldn’t put it past him, and it made sense.

I did, thankfully, find some detailed tidbits within certain books of the History section. Though even what they had to say was limited, it did give me a better understanding of the Empire’s past, before it disappeared. The inhabitants, known as Crystal Ponies because of their shimmering, glossy coats, were safeguarded by the energy of an artifact known as the Crystal Heart (wow, Paper Mario much?), which was powered by strong, positive emotions, and whose magic could protect the entire Empire from danger. It seemed Sombra had found a way to bypass this when he took over all those years ago. Would that mean Twilight and the others would have to use this Crystal Heart to stop him again this time? I also found about a dozen recipes for crystal berry pie. Something to remember to tell the Cakes when I returned.

On a whim, I even browsed books on Star Swirl the Bearded, but without success on anything related to the Empire. Still, seeing his writing was fascinating. He had traveled far and wide, seen phenomenon other ponies only ever dreamed of, encountered strange and magical creatures, and crafted an enormous number of spells. They ranged from the simple, such as teleportation, self-levitation, and shield-generation, to the complex, like invisibility, spontaneous age-alteration, and temporary weather manipulation. It was easy to see why Twilight was such a fangirl over him. Seeing these spells filled my head with the sorts that J.K. Rowling had made up for Harry Potter, and for a few minutes, I amused myself in imagining that I could perform such spells, flourishing my hand as if casting them.

“Expelliarmus! Accio! Lumos! Expecto Patronum!”

“Shhhh!”

Oh boy. The familiar library shushing. Thinking that I’d better not wear out my welcome, I packed up and left, feeling pretty foolish.


***


When I wanted a break from writing, I took to wandering around Canterlot, though not in the aimless way I had done before my talk with Princess Celestia, nor the more hurried and frantic way I’d done when trying to find a Hearth’s Warming present for Moonlight. It allowed me to better take in and appreciate just how nice the city looked during the winter. It was also worth it to go to one of the local coffee shops and buy a cup of hot cocoa (with marshmallows for one bit extra), sipping it while walking.

Very rarely, I was able to catch glimpses of my fellow council members. As I passed by the windows of Canterlot’s gymnasium once, on my fourth day in the city, I saw Rock Solid among several muscular or active ponies,  lifting weights and hardly breaking a sweat. I considered going inside myself, but I wasn’t a fan of most exercise techniques, so I gave it a pass. I hope Bon Bon never hears about this. 

Outside a cafe on the fifth day, I came across Rolling Stone, a piece of paper held in his hoof. I figured he was working on his speech, and thought it best not to disturb him, but I heard him speaking as I passed by. He was actually regaling a small group of speakers with what sounded like poetry of his own composition, reading loud and clear in his deep, rumbling voice.

‘Oh, jewels of Appleloosa
The apples of our eye
That, when they fall to earth, become
Delicious apple pie”

I had no idea Rolling Stone had a gift for poetry. Then again, I didn’t know that much about Equestrian buffalo, in general. As I walked on, I thought I could see Princess Celestia standing at the balcony of one of her towers. Seeing her like that, and all the ponies milling about below her on their way to lunch, made me think, almost unconsciously,

(“Princess on the steeple and all the pretty people.”)

Huh. Where did that come from?

What gave me the biggest shock, however, was catching sight of Minister Ironmane outside a coffee shop on the sixth day. He was sitting at a table, a cup of coffee beside him, and seated across from him was a mare who just might be his wife. 

She was a slender, upright unicorn, her coat a sandy-tan color with a sleek silver-blonde mane and tail, her mane done up in an elegant knob at the base of her neck. Her cutie mark resembled a music sheet on a music stand, so perhaps she was a music teacher. She had a kind, motherly sort of face, slightly lined, but still pleasant to look at. The way the two were talking, and how they smiled at each other from time to time, seemed to confirm to me that they were husband and wife, and happily married at that.

It had been enough of a shock to hear Ironmane casually say he was married, but to actually see her was another thing entirely. Also, I had only ever seen Ironmane smile like this once before, when he was thanking me for the ticket I’d given him for Hearth’s Warming. They seemed to be engrossed in their own affairs, so I moved on. It did make me wonder, though, what Mrs. Ironmane must think of me, after what the minister had probably been saying about his human ‘charge’.


***


On the seventh evening of my stay in Canterlot, I was ambling about again, after having spent another hour or two inside, making minor corrections to my speech, when I came to a sudden halt. A very familiar voice was being carried my way along the frozen air. But...it couldn’t be.

“...has faced many dangerous beasts and creatures in her travels! Yes, Canterlot: I dare say even the great Charles Darwhinny never faced as many zoological wonders as the Great and Powerful Trixie!”

I had to be dreaming! There, standing in the middle of a crowd of Canterlot citizens, was Trixie’s caravan, newly-painted! And there, on the stage that folded out from it, was Trixie herself! She was wearing what looked like her usual cloak and hat, but they looked thicker, with a furry lining along the collar and brim. It made my heart swell to see her looking happy and healthy, though I couldn’t believe she was here in Canterlot.

“But nothing, nothing shall ever compare with what lay in store for Trixie upon her return to Ponyville!” Trixie went on, in a dramatic tone. “The Great and Powerful Trixie had stopped to rest and gather supplies for the road ahead, when what should she come across but a two-legged, hairless ape!” 

Several crowd members gasped, and I felt a slight check in my joy. ‘Two-legged hairless ape’?

“Surely a creature set upon this planet for Trixie to test her might against!” Trixie went on, clearly enjoying herself. “For Trixie has faced the likes of the Ursa Major, the dreaded chimera, and the wily sphinx, but this must assuredly be the epitome of her quest to be great and powerful! We fought several times, Trixie naturally besting him at each turn, though he was a worthy adversary. At last, though it was grueling, he grew to a point where he could understand Trixie at last, and Trixie is quite thankful for that.” 

I couldn’t believe this! After everything we’d been through during her stay in Ponyville, she was making me into a punchline in her act! The nerve of her! I had half a mind to march over and set the crowd straight on a few things, but then Trixie continued,

“You see, he saved the Great and Powerful Trixie’s life.” 

The crowd murmured excitedly, and I felt my anger start to fade.

“Yes, yes, I know,” Trixie said. “You must be thinking ‘surely somepony as great and powerful as Trixie has faced certain doom countless times. What makes this different?’ Well, Trixie was unexpectedly stricken with a horrible ailment: a disease that would have laid even the greatest and most powerful pony low! While I was suffering under its symptoms, this creature, humbled and tamed by Trixie, rushed her to the hospital to be cured. Trixie owes her life to him, and it is because of him that Trixie graces your presence once again. So, if you see him, be sure to say ‘Thank you for the Great and Powerful Trixie’.”

She bowed, and the crowd applauded. My initial anger had evaporated, leaving me with a mixture of gratitude and amusement. She hadn’t taken me for granted, after all. She was just spicing up our time together in Ponyville for her crowd. If she’d wanted to turn our arguments into battles, that was her business. However, I was keen on not being picked out by this crowd and ‘thanked for Trixie’, so I hung back until they had dispersed, before seeking an audience with Trixie herself.

At last, when Trixie’s wagon was free of onlookers, I went around back to its door and knocked.

“So sorry, but Trixie is indisposed at the moment. There will be another performance in an hour. If you want an autograph, you’ll have to wait until then.”

“And what if it’s for a talk between her and a ‘two-legged, hairless ape’?” I asked, with a grin.

There was a pause, and the door opened. Trixie peered out, looking astonished. She’d discarded her hat and cloak.

“Dave?”

“Hiya, Trixie,” I said.

Before I knew what was happening, Trixie had grabbed me by the arm and whisked me inside her caravan, shutting the door behind her. It was mercifully warm in here.

“What are you doing here?” Trixie asked, sounding both incredulous and delighted.

“What, no ‘hello’?” I asked, sardonically. “No ‘how’ve you been’? No ‘good to see you’? Man, Trixie, it’s not just the weather that’s cold.”

Trixie rolled her eyes, her expression softening as she smiled.

“You know I didn’t mean it like that,” she said, teasingly. “Come here, you.”

She threw her forelegs around me in a warm hug, one I was more than happy to reciprocate. It may have been my imagination, but her tail wagged a bit as we embraced, like a happy dog’s.

“I’ve missed you, Trixie,” I said, once we pulled away from each other.

“Of course you have,” said Trixie, in her usual cheeky way, before adding, “but I’ve missed you too, Dave. I’ve remembered you most among those I’ve left behind me in my travels, for everything you’ve done.”

“You’ve certainly remembered me enough to use me with such flattering terms in your show,” I said, wryly.

“Oh, you heard that?” Trixie asked, not sounding the least bit abashed. “I merely thought it might add a little spice to my act if I retold our meetings, with a few tweaks here and there.”

“So instead of an innocent, unoffending human, you turn me into a tamed beast?” I asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Oh, now, nopony will connect you with the story,” said Trixie, airily. “You’re much too civil and intelligent to be mistaken for a servile man-ape.”

“I’m flattered,” I said, dryly.

“As Trixie knew you would be,” said Trixie, smiling.

“But it’s good to see that being on the road again is doing you some good,” I said. “You look like you’ve put on a bit of weight. N-Not that I’m calling you fat!” I added, hurriedly, as she raised an eyebrow. “I mean, I’m not in a position to call anyone fat, with all the holiday pudge I’ve accumulated. It’s just, I remember how skinny you were when you were hiding out in Ponyville, and now...Well, now you look a lot healthier.”

Trixie’s features relaxed, and she gave her mane a toss.

“Thank you,” she said. “When I returned to the life of a great and powerful pony, it was necessary to get my great and powerful figure back.”

She stepped back, keeping remarkable balance on her hind legs, and held her forelegs aloft, as if to say ‘look at me, notice me, stare at me’. She did indeed have an eye-catching figure for a pony, with her slender belly and curvy hips, almost like Rarity. Then again, I was only judging by how humans normally interpreted body proportions, though they didn’t seem far off by Equestrian pony standards.

“And you’ve certainly got that,” I said, making Trixie smile even broader.

“Flatterer,” she said. “You don’t have it too bad yourself, but you do look a bit bigger since the last time I saw you.”

Just like Moonlight, she prodded my stomach with her hoof. This time, though, I doubted a retaliatory tickle would be much appreciated.

“Are you staying in Canterlot long?” she asked.

“Dunno,” I said. “I’m waiting on an important message, and I’ve been here a week already. How about you?”

“Alas,” said Trixie, dramatically, “tonight is my last night here in Canterlot, and I’m afraid I won’t be able to stay long after my final show, as I intend to depart at once. Hoofington awaits, and I mustn’t leave them hanging.”

“Ah, I see,” I said. “Do you still plan on coming back to Ponyville when spring comes?”

“I do,” said Trixie. “They must be sorely craving my great and powerful presence after being deprived of it for a couple of months.”

“Oh, no doubt,” I said. “Well, I’m definitely gonna check out your show tonight.”

“Wonderful!” said Trixie. “You shan’t be disappointed when you see the new tricks the Great and Powerful Trixie has in store. I do regret spending so little time with you, Dave, but I really need to start getting ready. It was so good to see you again.”

“Same to you, Trixie.”

Trixie reared up again, this time to give me a gentle little nuzzle. It was amazing how quickly she could switch from being bold and brash to being reserved and kind. Then she walked me to the door, tipped me a wink, and shut it behind her.

“Same ol’ Trixie,” I muttered, in a satisfied sort of way. “Some things never change.”


***


It wasn’t too bad of a wait for Trixie’s next show. As I sat on a bench overlooking the caravan, waiting for the promised time to come, I saw ponies beginning to congregate from all across the city, eager to see the performance. Some paused to look at me as they went, and I had a feeling some of them had stuck around to hear Trixie’s story of meeting me. Thankfully, it didn’t look like any of them had bothered to read between the lines of her little dramatic retelling, and they left me in peace.

At last, a loud blast of trumpet fanfare sounded from somewhere inside Trixie’s caravan. I stood up to join the rest of the crowd milling about, hoping I wasn’t blocking some child’s view, like the giant I was.

“Good evening, Canterlot!” came Trixie’s voice, sounding magically magnified, as her stage began to unfold. “Welcome, one and all, to the most spectacular magical performance you shall ever witness! I am your host, the Great and Powerful Trixie!”

With a burst of purple smoke, Trixie appeared on stage, decked out in her cape and hat. The crowd ‘ooh’ed and ‘ahh’ed.

“This shall be my final performance in this splendid city, for now,” said Trixie, “but just for you, I shall not hold back any of my greatness or powerfulness! Now, witness, Canterlot, the magic of the Great and Powerful Trixie!”

Fireworks burst all around her caravan, eliciting cheers and gasps from the crowd.

“Some sight, eh, kid?”

I turned around. Sure Shot was standing beside me, wearing a thick scarf in addition to his trenchcoat and fedora.

“Hi, Sure Shot,” I said. “Have you seen Trixie’s show before?”

“‘Couple weeks ago, yeah,” said Sure Shot. “She was in Manehattan, wowin’ everypony with her hocus-pocus. I’ll admit, I was impressed the first time I saw it, especially after hearin’ all that stuff about her bein’ a fraud.”

We watched as Trixie conjured up a line of fruit, ranging from a tiny cherry to a huge watermelon, then set them into a synchronized tap dance.

“Hey, Sure Shot? Mind if I ask you something?”

“Shoot, kid,” he said, then chuckled. “Never get tired of that one. But go ahead.”

(Ohh, I get it. Real classy, Sure Shot.)

“What can you tell me about Manehattan? I know it must be a stupid question to ask if it’s worth visiting, but I don’t know that much about it. All I can say is it sounds like the name of a city I’ve visited back home, called Manhattan.”

“Huh,” said Sure Shot, sounding mildly surprised. “Pretty punny for a human city, if ya ask me. Well, I might be soundin’ biased, kid, but if Canterlot’s the crown of Equestria, Manehattan’s its main jewel. You’ll never be bored in the big city, cuz it’s got everythin’ you could ever want: great dinin’, great shoppin’, lots of sightseein’ . I’ve lived there all my life, and even I haven’t done half of what you can do in Manehattan. There’s the Yancolt Stadium, where they’ve hosted some of the best ballgames this side of Equestria, and I’m not much of a musicals guy, but there’s the Bridleway theater, where they host a ton of great shows.”

(‘Bridleway’? Oh, good Lord, and he thinks Manhattan is punny…)

“But the main thing about Manehattan, kid,” said Sure Shot, more seriously, “is that it’s a real ‘flip of the coin’ kinda city. One second, a pony’s givin’ ya the shirt off their back, the next they’re pushin’ ya out of the way to get to the nearest taxi. It can get rough up there, so you gotta be able to look out for yourself. I’ve learned that the hard way myself. What goes around, comes around, is what I’m tryin’ to say. You show them a little kindness, and ya never know when they give it back. Get me?”

“Yeah,” I said. “I’ll definitely have to find a day to head up there.”

“You won’t be sorry,” said Sure Shot, grinning. “With luck, I might even be able to show ya around.”

“I’d like that,” I said, grinning back. “Thanks, Sure Shot.”

Meanwhile, Trixie was pulling out several new tricks. Beside the fruit trick, along with a few of the others I saw when she performed in Ponyville, she played a round of badminton with herself, teleporting from one side of the stage to the other, and making some spectacular saves before the shuttlecock went out of bounds. She made a big show about it, too, holding the racket in first her teeth, then her horn, then her hooves, and even her tail. She made it look easy, yawning with apparent boredom, then reading a book, then admiring herself in a mirror. It was both impressive and hilarious.

When she was finished with this, she took out an average-sized top hat, set it down, and, to everyone’s amazement, including mine, started climbing into it, hind legs first. Despite the hat not showing any major stretching or stuffing, she actually started sinking into it, needing only a bit of effort to squeeze her hindquarters inside. Within seconds, only her head was poking out, still topped with her own hat. She winked to the crowd, then ducked inside, like a turtle pulling in its head, both hats sitting end to end, her pointed one atop of the top. The seconds passed, and nothing happened. The crowd murmured. What was this leading to?

Then, Trixie’s hat lifted up off of the top hat, which fell onto its side, empty. The hat twitched, and then, as if shooting down a water slide, Trixie came popping out of it, landing neatly on her hind legs. She gave a ‘ta-da!’ flourish as the hat landed back on her head, and the crowd cheered wildly, myself included.

“That was unbelievable!” I told Sure Shot.

“Never saw that one before!” he said.

“Thank you, thank you!” said Trixie. “Now that is what Trixie likes to call a ‘hat trick’! I’d like to conclude tonight’s performance with a round of Trixie’s speciality Whizbang Wonder fireworks! Eyes to the sky, Canterlot!”

We all looked up. With shrill whistles and bangs, the evening sky was soon full of explosions of colors and smoke, twisting themselves into a variety of shapes. All I could think as I gazed up at them was,

(Gandalf, eat your heart out.)

But then, something unexpected happened.

At least twelve rockets were shot up by way of a final firework, converging on each other at a single point. They exploded together, forming themselves into a silhouette of Trixie, with her hat and cloak (very fitting), and in that instant, it happened. 

As if someone had flicked them on with a light switch, great, billowing ribbons of rainbow-colored light suddenly appeared, dancing across the sky behind Trixie’s firework. The whole crowd gasped. Sure Shot and I exchanged looks of stupefaction. Had Trixie done that? That was doubtful, since, for a second, she looked as gobsmacked as the rest of us, but quickly rearranged her features into a glowing, triumphant smile, as if to save face by implying that was supposed to happen.

“Only for you, Canterlot!” she cried. “Only for you!”

“What are those?” I asked.

“No idea,” breathed Sure Shot.

The closest thing I could think of, even though I’d never seen them personally, was the Northern Lights. Was this something like that? What could be causing it?

“Dave! Sure Shot!”

The two of us looked up. Eagle Eye was hovering above the still-amazed crowd, many ponies in which had begun to applaud thinking it was part of Trixie’s act. She was gesturing wildly for us to follow her.

“Ironmane wants us all back at the castle! Come on!”

As best we could, the two of us extricated ourselves from the crowd and followed Eagle Eye, rushing back towards the castle. She led us straight inside and into the throne room. Princesses Celestia and Luna were both there, as were the rest of the council. It was the first time I’d seen Brutus with the princesses, and though he still dwarfed them by a considerable amount, it somehow felt less when it came to them.

“Here they are, Minister, Your Highnesses,” said Eagle Eye, bowing in midair.

“What’s going on?” I asked. “Is it those lights in the sky?”

I looked over at Ironmane, and was surprised to see that he was wearing a satisfied, complacent expression, his features softened considerably. It was an expression shared by both princesses, who looked as though a heavy load had been lifted from their shoulders. After a lengthy pause, Ironmane said,

“They’ve done it. The Empire is saved.”

> Reunion, and Off Once More
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“They-they did it?” I spluttered, unable to believe it. “They saved the Empire? That’s wonderful!”

It was as though my heart was as light as a balloon! I felt giddy, joyful, like Scrooge when he had his second chance at life! They’d done it!

I felt like I could hug everyone there, but I settled on Eagle Eye, who was nearest. She looked a little embarrassed, but grinned and patted me on the back all the same, before gently prying me off. The others were in high spirits too. Sure Shot and Rock Solid exchanged a high-five. Brutus sent a jet of smoke into the air from his mouth, like a geyser. Apollo and Rolling Stone started some kind of victory ballad, the griffin’s cultured voice a surprisingly fitting accompaniment to the buffalo’s rumbling tones. Only the princesses, Ironmane, and Cornelius remained still, but all with big smiles on their face.

At last, Ironmane called everyone to order, and we fell silent.

“Yes, yes, there is much to celebrate about,” he said, “but let us not get carried away. We have business to attend to. Now that the Empire has returned, it is important that we reopen contact with it, and reestablish ties between it and the rest of Equestria. We have much ground to make up, after 1,000 years.”

“So, what does this mean for us?” I asked.

“Once Twilight and her friends have returned,” said Princess Celestia, “we will set out to visit the Empire. Not all at once, of course. In pairs or threes, I believe, to give them time to prepare. Luna, Ironmane, and I shall arrive first. Then, I think, you and Cornelius, David, right afterwards.”

I looked at the old donkey, who gave me an encouraging smile.

“Followed, a few weeks or so later, by Rock Solid and Brutus-”

“I think I’ll fly,” said Brutus. “I doubt the trains have a car big enough for a dragon my size. Besides,” he added, ironically, “wouldn’t that be a lovely ride, sitting with skittish ponies worried I might eat them?”

“I can easily tell them I’m your tamer,” said Rock Solid, the corners of his mouth twitching. “That’ll put their minds at ease.”

Brutus chuckled, and Celestia continued,

“Then Rolling Stone and Apollo-”

“Capital!” said Apollo, while Rolling Stone nodded his approval.

“Leaving Eagle Eye with Sure Shot.”

“Fine by moi,” said Sure Shot, twitching his fedora.

“Sounds good to me,” said Eagle Eye.

“Now all that’s left is to await the return of Twilight Sparkle and friends,” said Luna. “I estimate a day or two, at the least. It should not take them too long.”

(Good, because waiting for them has been torture enough already…)

“Very well, then,” said Ironmane. “You are all dismissed.”

The other council members dispersed, and I followed, still in a daze. First the return of Trixie, now this! If I knew my pinkest friend at all, chances were something as exciting as this was a great reason to throw a party! 


***


I was anxious and excited all of the next day. Any moment now, I’d hear news that the girls and Spike had arrived, and I wanted to be the first to see them. Of course, it was difficult to concentrate on my speech that way. Technically, it was done, but I still had to send it to the princesses for proofreading, and I wanted to be sure it was presentable before that.

As the afternoon wore on, there came a knock at my door.

“Come in,” I said.

Minister Ironmane entered, and I sat up, at attention.

“At ease, David,” he said. “There’s something I require your assistance for.”

“Anything, Minister.”

“As I have my own speech to prepare, could you accompany me to the library to copy out some notes for me?”

“Er, sure.”

“Good. Follow me, then.”

The two of us left the suite together. Now, if this had been back when I’d still mistrusted Ironmane, and him me, I might have thought differently about this request. However, I felt that we were long past such petty misconceptions. Anything to keep me busy was welcome.

That’s when I saw her.

As we were heading through one of the castle’s many corridors, I nearly bumped into Twilight! My heart leaped in my chest at the sight of her, and I very nearly grabbed her up in a hug, but stopped at her expression. She looked glum, dejected.

“Twilight?”

She looked up, and a small smile appeared for the briefest of moments.

“Oh! Hello, Dave, Minister.”

Her voice was not at all its usual genial self. Even Ironmane looked faintly troubled.

“Is everything all right, Miss Sparkle?” he asked.

“Of course,” said Twilight. “Please excuse me. I need to speak with Princess Celestia.”

She started off on her way again, the two of us watching her go.

“Twi!” I called. “Why don’t we meet up later? Dinner, maybe? I have some things to take care of!”

“Sure, that sounds great,” came Twilight’s hollow reply.

Her tone unnerved me. What on Earth could have gone wrong? Unfortunately, there was no time to question it, so all we could do was move on. Hopefully she’d be in better spirits when we met up again.


***


There were certain volumes in the library nopony could check out. As it turned out, Ironmane wanted to copy down information from such books, and needed me to write what he needed out. It was tedious work, and he was a bit stricter about penmanship (despite most Equestrians writing by mouth anyway) and thoroughness than Twilight, but the good news was that it kept my mind focused away from Twilight and the dour look on her face. Had something happened? Was the return of the Empire marred with, dare I say it, tragedy? No, I couldn’t think like that. I had to keep focused.

At last, as it was drawing near sunset, Ironmane looked at the library’s wall clock and said,

“I believe that will do, David. Thank you for your time. You may go meet up with Twilight and her friends. As it is so late, we shall set out for the Empire first thing tomorrow.”

“Much obliged, Minister.”

Politely as I could, I got up and left the library, but as soon as I was out of earshot, I broke into a run. Hopefully, they were still nearby. I hadn’t really thought about where we could meet, when I really should have. Hindsight was such a pain sometimes.

However, no sooner did I reach the castle courtyard then I stumbled upon a wonderful sight: the seven of them together, celebrating over something. Twilight was looking much happier now, which warmed my heart.

They were here.

“Girls! Spike!”

My voice came out much stronger than when I tried to call out to them when they left. At the sound of it, the seven of them looked up, and upon seeing me, their faces lit up anew.

In a twinkling, my arms were full of pudgy pink pony as Pinkie launched herself at me, her forelegs wrapping around me. The force of it sent me onto my rear, allowing the others to crowd around me and add themselves into what soon became a group hug.Their collective bodies provided an immense comfort from the cold air, as they all crowded me, nuzzling and hugging me. As Spike was much smaller, he hugged me around the leg.

“You’re all right,” I gasped, Pinkie nestled deep against me. “You’re all right.”

“So are you,” replied Pinkie, in a similar gasp. “So are you.”

“But I was never- You know what, never mind.”

“‘Course we’re all right,” said Rainbow. “You didn’t think we’d screw up, did you?”

“No, no!” I said, hurriedly. “I was just...you know...you all leaving so quickly, and off on such a dangerous mission…”

“It’s all right, sugarcube,” said Applejack. “Only natural to feel worried.”

“Heaven knows what it must have been like for you, darling,” said Rarity.

“We’ve really missed you, Dave,” said Fluttershy.

“I’ve missed you all too,” I said. “But enough about me. I wanna hear what happened! It must have been epic!”

“It was!” said Pinkie, letting go of me at last, as the others backed away again. “I wish you could’ve been there to see it, Davie!”

“Well, we all saw the after-effects of whatever it was that went on,” I said. “Those lights shone all the way out here! How did you do it? Did you use that Crystal Heart thing? I read about it when I was doing research for the council.”

I looked at Twilight, who looked pleased at my having done that kind of research. In her mind, I could see her tallying another point under the heading, ‘Usefulness of Books’.

“All in good time, Dave,” she said. “Let’s go find someplace to eat, first. We can talk there.”

“Good idea.”

I got up, and the eight of us left the courtyard toward the main thoroughfare of Canterlot. I felt like I was home again already.


***


“Spike?! You jumped out of a castle window with the Crystal Heart?”

We had put together two tables at an outdoor cafe, and the girls had regaled me with their escapades. Pinkie and Rainbow, naturally, spiced it up with onomatopoeia, and Pinkie went off on tangents about flugelhorns and jousting and crystal sheep. Thankfully, the others were there to fill in the gaps, and when they got to the end, I was flabbergasted, a slice of pizza half-raised to my mouth.

“No need to act so surprised,” said Spike, shining his knuckles on his chest scales. “I’m just a heroic dragon at heart.”

Twilight rolled her eyes smilingly.

“Of course you are, buddy,” I said, grinning. “And did your brother really throw Cadence at him when he was falling?” I added to Twilight.

“Like a javelin,” said Applejack, looking like she was trying not to laugh. “We saw it.”

“Quite the display of strength, I must say,” said Rarity, “though I wouldn’t fancy having it happen to me.”

“Well, that’s one way of getting things done, I guess,” I said, taking a bite. “Still, to think Celestia told you that you were supposed to do it all on your own, when it was really some lesson about self-sacrifice. I can’t decide if that’s clever or messed up.”

Twilight looked slightly irritated, most likely at the very idea of calling anything Her Highness did ‘messed up’, but she relaxed again.

“I’m just glad it’s over,” she said. “If I had to go through something like that again…”

“So, what’s on your agenda, big guy?” Rainbow asked. “More egghead-y stuff?”

“Pretty much,” I said. “I’ve still got work to do for the council. We’re actually going to head out to the Empire tomorrow.”

“Wonderful!” said Twilight. “Imagine how much of a difference it’ll make to open up liaisons between the Empire and humankind!”

“And now you’ll get to see the Empire too!” said Fluttershy, before saying, hurriedly, “N-Not that I think you haven’t been away from home long enough already!”

“It’s all right, Fluttershy,” I said. “I’m actually pretty eager to see it for myself, though I can’t wait to be able to go back to Ponyville, either. Speaking of which, Pinkie?”

Pinkie looked up from a slice of pizza she’d been digging into.

“Yeah-huh?”

“It might take a little more time for me to find a free day for us to do whatever you want. I don’t know how long this stuff for the Empire could take.”

“It’s all right, Davie,” said Pinkie, a smile on her sauce-splattered face. “It gives me even more time to plan, and it’ll be super-fun!”

I smiled back at her. This was what I’d missed most of all: Pinkie’s company. Heck, the company of all of my friends. Don’t get me wrong, the council members were pleasant in their ways, but I’d been sorely lacking in real contact with my Ponyville friends.

“Man, what a crazy week,” said Rainbow. “Can’t wait to get home and chillax again. Eh, no offense, Dave,” she added, catching my eye.

“I just hope all of my animal friends are doing all right,” fretted Fluttershy. “I always leave them a little extra food before going out, just in case I’m out longer than expected, but I’m wondering if it was enough this time. I wasn’t planning on being gone a whole week. I hope the sitter I hired is still seeing them.”

“I’m sure they’re perfectly fine, darling,” said Rarity, reassuringly. “But I’ll bet there’s dust in my poor boutique by this point! Ugh!”

The others rolled their eyes at this, including me. When we noticed, we all broke into a laugh. When dinner was over and paid for, we were able to exchange actual goodbyes this time, compounded by an extra hug from Pinkie, who used the moment to check if I had stuffed any garlic knots in the pockets of my pants for some reason. I really hope Lyra and Bon Bon don’t find out about this, but come on, diets still allow cheat days, right?

“I’ll see you all at home,” I said.

“Safe travels, darling!” said Rarity.

“See ya when ya get back, sugarcube,” said Applejack.

“We’ll be waiting!” said Pinkie.

However, as they were turning to leave, Twilight stopped and turned to me, letting the others move on ahead.

“Oh! Dave! I almost forgot!”

“Hmm?”

“Did you ever get to talk with Princess Celestia?”

“About what?”

“The humans, of course! Isn’t that why you wanted to come to Canterlot in the first place?”

A sudden wave of nervousness passed through me. If Princess Celestia had wanted to spare the feelings of her subjects by keeping the truth of that last meeting from them, how would her personal protege take it? Twilight had already proven how seriously she took even the simplest things, like the mere prospect of a test. How would she react to knowing a human had treated her teacher like a common cart horse?

Finally, I said, with my fingers crossed behind my back,“There wasn’t really much to say. They just had a disagreement, and went their separate ways.” , which was as big of an oversimplification as I could think of. 

Twilight looked faintly disappointed, but it passed after a moment or two.

“Oh well,” she said. “I guess some mysteries don’t have to have complex answers. At least you had the courage to ask, Dave. That’s what matters.”

“Er, yeah,” I said.

I watched the girls off, and as they left, I could have sworn Rarity started singing, the others joining in not too long afterwards. Though I couldn’t distinguish the words, the sound of their voices in musical harmony warmed my heart. With a twinge of regret at seeing them leave again, I turned and headed back toward the castle.

Heading back to my room, I picked up my speech and flipped through it again. It seemed as good as it was ever gonna be, so it was now or never.

“Guard!”

The door opened, and a unicorn guard stood in the doorway, saluting.

“You called, Councilstallion David?”

“Yes. Could you deliver this to Princess Celestia or Princess Luna? It’s my speech, and I’d like it to be proofread.”

I held out my speech, and he took it in his magic.

“Of course, sir.”

“Thank you.”

With that, he departed. Hopefully, there weren’t any glaring mistakes that had missed my notice. It wouldn’t be the first time it happened to me. Still, this was what proofreading was for. I went to get ready for bed, feeling satisfied.


***


I had another odd dream that night. Twilight was trapped in a steel-barred cage, while the enormous form of a shadowy Bon Bon loomed over her, laughing malevolently. Then, the wall burst open, and Spike came flying in on the back of a pink jumbo jet. Spike, however, looked older and taller, and had a very ‘heroic’ air about him. In one claw, he was holding a diamond shaped like a carrot, light pouring from its many facets. As each ray of light hit Bon Bon, it burnt a hole in her, until she looked more like Swiss cheese than anything. At last, with another burst of light from the crystal carrot, she was gone, the cage burst open, and Twilight, now carrying a pizza box, was free. She beamed up at Spike, who stood tall and proud above a multitude of ponies chanting his name, while Pinkie trumpeted on a flugelhorn.

Well, why not? A part of me had the feeling Spike deserved a little glory now and then, being the close friend and helper of Celestia’s student. From there, my dreams were a bit more normal, and a lot more peaceful than they had been in days.


***


I was up early the next morning, so early that the sun was just barely rising. Unfortunately, by the time I was ready to go, bringing my saddlebag with me, Celestia, Luna, and Ironmane had already gone, so I didn’t get to see the princess of the sun actually do her stuff. I headed down to the train station to meet with the other councilmembers, who were already assembled and waiting to see Cornelius and me off, bundled up against the cold. Yet again, Brutus, the only one not bundled up, looked too big to be allowed. I wondered how it would look for other ponies to see a dragon flying alongside a train.

“Does anypony know how long the train ride’s supposed to last?” I asked.

“Several hours,” said Cornelius. “You could catch up on your sleep if you want. It’s what I plan to do,” he added, with a wheezy chuckle.

“Heh, not a bad idea,” I said. “I could use a bit more rest, after spending so much time working on my speech. I wanted to make sure it’s perfect, before the princesses reviewed it.”

“Don’t we all?” asked Brutus. “I have to make it clear to my people that the crystals of the Empire are not for eating. It’s tempting, believe me, but even I know not to eat infrastructure.”

At that moment, there was a sharp whistle, and a train started pulling into the station.

“That’s us, David,” said Cornelius. “By putting space between visits, it gives them time to receive us at the Empire without overwhelming them.”

“That’s smart, I suppose,” I said, then turned to the others, grinning. “I'll see you guys later. It's been great, however hectic this last week has been.”

They nodded their acknowledgement, friendly smiles on their faces, and Cornelius and I stepped onto the mercifully warm train. As soon as we found seats for ourselves, the old donkey settled back and started snoring. He was out like a light even before the train started moving.

Well, when in Rome… I lay back myself, closed my eyes, and started to doze off. Hopefully, somepony would come along to wake us up when we finally arrived.

I felt like I was out for barely a minute before a sharp voice snapped me back to consciousness.

“Aha! I knew it was only a matter of time before you showed yourself!”

I looked up, bleary-eyed. A pegasus stallion was stomping towards me, looking extremely miffed. He had a handsome but haughty face, a light-gray coat and a neatly-combed black mane and tail. His cutie mark was a little hard to make out, like a silver dome or something. Come to think of it, it looked kind of like aluminum foil, but maybe that was just me.

“Can I help you, sir?” I asked, politely, while stifling a yawn.

“Don’t give me that false humility!” snapped the pegasus. “I know what you are!”

“What I am?” I asked, perplexed by his attitude. “Well, I’m a human, yeah.”

“I would not be joking if I were you,” said the pegasus, coldly. “I knew there was something about you ever since you invaded Cloudsdale-”

“Invaded?” I asked, stung. “Now, wait a second-”

“-but I never thought it would come to this. You, sir, sit on a throne of lies!”

What the heck was this guy talking about?!

“It’s all explained on this!”

He was brandishing a piece of paper in his wing, waving it so close to my face that he was in danger of giving me a paper cut on my upper lip. Close to, I could see that it was a sheet of notebook paper, with writing on both sides, the edge slightly torn. What in the world did that have to do with me?...

“I don’t understand,” I said, staring at the paper.

“Oh, I think you do,” said the pegasus, coldly.

He transferred the paper to his hoof and started reading,

“To whom it may concern…”


> A Devious Plot
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“‘...These Aesops seem to do nothing more than remind me that the entire premise is the importance of friendship. Yes, I know, it’s a kid’s show, and part of the title is Friendship is Magic, but come on, do they need to make it that obvious?’

“‘Fourth, Princess Celestia must be one of the laziest monarchs in existence, because she would rather endanger the lives of six mortal ponies, even if they ARE the show's 'chosen ones', when she could wipe out the problem without even blinking. If she cares so much about the well-being of her subjects, why doesn't she take more action into her own hooves, like when she had to banish her own sister to the moon?'

“'Fifth, the friendships between the main characters. Twilight only gets to know the rest of these mares over the course of one day, and by the end of episode 2, they’re the best of friends! I mean, I get it, opposites attract, life-changing experiences, and all that, but there’s no way bonds as strong as theirs could be made so quickly It’s like an old Disney romance, how quickly they grow close to each other. It’s just one thing after another. These flaws make things seem so unrealistic, that it goes past my suspension of disbelief, and I sincerely hope I’m not the only one who’s noticed. You wouldn’t see this kind of laziness happening if I was in charge of Equestria. I’d show these ponies what it’s like in the real world.'”

Celestia, lazy and disrespectful of the lives of her subjects? The friendships of Twilight and her friends unrealistic? Listening to him read that paper was like listening to a strange mirror version of myself. The words were right, but the opinions were completely wrong!

“Well, what have you got to say?” demanded the pegasus. The rumbling of the train was providing an ominous background noise to his speech, like the thunder of an oncoming storm. “This paper flew into my hooves more than a week ago, just after your visit to Cloudsdale. Thought you could get rid of such incriminating evidence, did you? Well, once I read it, I took it to Professor High Brow. He knew what it must mean!  You, sir, are a fraud, an enemy of Equestria seeking to dethrone Her Highness, and I, Lightwing, am going to stop you!”

His accusation hit me like a gavel against a judge’s bench.

The missing piece of paper from my notebook, the one that had troubled my thoughts when I first arrived, the one I’d forgotten about. It had been missing for months, and now just shows up again with such horrible slander of ponies I knew personally? This had to be a mistake!

“I don’t remember writing any of this,” I said, truthfully. “I didn’t even know there was a TV show based on Equestria! I mean, Twilight told me Equestria has television, but it’s rare! I had no idea!”

“Don’t go spouting more of your rubbish!” thundered Lightwing, waving the paper at me, again nearly giving me a paper cut with it. “The evidence is against you! We have extensive research on the turbulent past you and your kind shared with Her Highness, and it’s not a stretch to imagine that you’d be so disdainful of her after your peoples’ expulsion from her presence! It’s clear to me that you were raised to believe ill of her, and are an emissary spreading your words and lies all across the globe while plotting to overthrow her!”

This was outrageous! I felt like I was in a courtroom, accused of high treason, and this pegasus was the prosecutor, twisting everything to my disadvantage! This came so out of the blue that my mind couldn’t come up with any reasonable explanation while I tried to protest.

“No! You’ve got it all wrong! I would never- These ponies are my friends!”

Some ponies in their seats had turned around to look at us, wondering what we were talking about. A few foals were among them, peeking around their parents.

“Are they truly?” asked Lightwing, shrewdly. “Or have they merely been tools for your sinister plot against Celestia?”

“How dare you!” I snapped, feeling myself go red in the face. “I have nothing but respect and devotion to Princess Celestia and her subjects!”

“Well, of course you would say that,” said Lightwing, with infuriating smugness. “What criminal would admit to his faults on the spot?”

“I’m not connected with the humans of the past,” I retaliated, “beyond some stupid coincidence and old stories!”

“So you say,” said Lightwing. “But how can we know that for sure? Is it not true that you have been restricting the press?”

“Restricting the-?” I spluttered, confused. “What are you talking about?”

“That article in the Ponyville Express that Dolly Tribune wrote. You obviously didn’t want her printing certain facts about you, so you had her change her first version to one that suited your liking. Very convenient to cover your tracks, I dare say.”

“It was libel!” I shouted, not even paying attention to the other ponies in the car, all peering around and pricking up their ears to listen in. “She was making stuff up about me to make her story more exciting! The second time, she was telling the truth, the truth I gave her!”

“Oho?! The truth you gave her? So you admit it, then!”

I opened my mouth, then closed it again. I’d walked right into that one. But I couldn’t let him do this to me!

“I’m not admitting anything,” I said, finally, “except that what I said in that article is the truth. I’m not even from this world, to begin with.”

“What kind of nonsense is that?” asked Lightwing, scornfully. “Are you claiming to be an alien, then, as Miss Tribune suggested in her first version?”

“W-Well, if you want to get technical about it,” I said, faltering slightly, “you could argue that I am, but the point is that I came here from a different world, one where the ponies don’t talk, fly, use magic, or have cutie marks.”

This did not seem to win me any headway with Lightwing at all. On the contrary, he looked angrier.

“So you’re saying that you repress the equines of your world?” he asked, sharply. “I should have known! You’re starting an alien takeover to do the same to us! You would strip us of our magic and our talents, and make us your beasts of burden!”

“No, no, no! That’s not what I meant at all!” I snapped, going even redder in the face. “They’ve always been like that where I come from! I didn’t have anything to do with it! I don’t want to take over anything! I’m just trying to get by until I can go back home!”

“And get your full forces to invade us!”

“Would you knock it off?! I’m not trying to take over Equestria!”

I stamped my foot impatiently to punctuate this, and at the same time, the train car rattled, sending food, drinks, and personal possessions skidding along. We must have hit a rough piece of track, but this was exactly what I didn’t need: this guy thinking I’d made it happen by stomping.

“I just woke up outside Ponyville with my memories fogged up,” I said, more calmly. “I couldn’t remember what I was doing before I came to.”

“Another likely story,” said Lightwing. “Even if that were true, you probably just had your memory erased so you couldn’t reveal any information, and that made you forget your true objectives, but the piece of paper is undeniable proof! Too bad you didn’t keep a firmer grip on it.”

There was just no winning with this guy! He seemed determined to distort everything I said against me!

“One of the very first things I did when I came to Equestria was conduct a Q&A with Twilight Sparkle!” I rallied on. “I told her several truths about the world I’m from!”

“And yet, all we have is your word on those subjects,” said Lightwing.

I clenched my fists, and bit back the curse I was longing to call this guy. There were, after all, foals on this train. It wouldn’t do to be vulgar in front of children. I had to set an example.

“Well,” I said, through clenched teeth, “since we’re on the subject of Twilight and her pals, they happen to be friends of mine, especially Pinkie Pie. I would never, ever betray them for any reason!”

“So you say,” said Lightwing, “and I still say you’re merely taking advantage of their better natures for your own benefit, using them to earn yourself a glowing reputation amongst the rest of Ponyville. What better ponies to use to rise to power than the Element Bearers themselves?”

“They’ve always been my friends first!” I retorted. “There’s days where I hardly even remember they wield the Elements of Harmony! I’d never use them for something so selfish and cruel!”

“But why not?” asked Lightwing, shrewdly. “You’re a human, are you not? If what you say is true, you and your kind are the masters of equines back where you come from. Why should Equestria be any different?”

This guy really knew how to get under my skin!

“Because Equestrians aren’t like the equines back home! They’re intelligent, can speak and reason for themselves, even have homes and societies of their own! They’re just like the humans back where I come from!”

I thought this might mollify the situation a bit, but I was dead wrong. Now his face went beet-red, his brows furrowing with anger. A chill seemed to fill the train compartment.

“So!” he said, in a deadly voice. “Not enough that you intend to destabilize the Equestrian way of life, but you have the impudence, the audacity, the unmitigated GALL to compare us to the likes of you?! Equestria is a nation of proud, strong equines, and you would dare say that we are on the same level as your fellow war-mongers?!”

“That’s not what I-”

Now he was right back up in my face again, shouting so vehemently that spit was flying with every word.

“You, sir, are a liar, a cheat, and a scoundrel! I’ll have the law on you, mark my words! If only you had been caught in your villainy sooner, but luckily, I now have that happy chance!”

That was it! I couldn’t take this anymore!

“Give me that paper!” I shouted, making a grab for it.

Unfortunately, I’d momentarily forgotten that he was a pegasus, and he jumped lightly out of my snatching reach, hovering above me with the paper clasped in the elbow joint of his foreleg.

“Hoping to destroy such crucial evidence against you?” he sneered. “I don’t blame you. It’s not very pretty writing. Rather sloppy penmanship, too.”

A dead weight fell into my stomach. It looked like I’d dug myself even deeper in my desperation.

“Oh, how the mighty fall,” said Lightwing, triumphantly. “I’m sure you planned on riding atop our backs to your home like some kind of conquering king, but you left the most crucial testimony to your ignominy to be picked up by the hooves of justice. Your plans were clever, I must say. Perhaps you might have gotten away with it too, if not for my amazing deductive reasoning. I guess you just can’t handle somepony as incredible as me screwing up your plans, but I’m ready for anything you or your kind can dish out!”

How dare he! His smugness was insufferable! I was about to protest further, but a voice from nearby made us both jump.

“Now hold up just a minute!”

Cornelius was awake, and he looked mad.

> The Empire At Last
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I think it’s a pretty well-established fact that when nice people get angry, it’s one of the scariest things imaginable. That was how it felt at that moment, seeing Cornelius giving Lightwing the mother of all stink-eyes. Lightwing, however, did not look intimidated, and settled back on his hooves.

“I’m sorry to have disturbed you, sir,” he said. “If you wish, we’ll take this somewhere else so you can get back to your nap.”

Wow. It was strange how he could go from aggressive and accusing one second to civil and cordial the next.

“Do you have any idea who you’re threatening, you impertinent colt?” Cornelius asked. 

“Yes, I do, but don’t worry. I have him where I want him,” replied Lightwing. “He’s a dangerous criminal seeking to destabilize the Equestrian way of life!”

“This here is Councilstallion David,” Cornelius went on, icily, “a member of the Equestrian Foreign Relations Council, employed by the princesses themselves.”

Lightwing blinked. For once, he didn’t look so smug and superior.

“Is he?” he asked. “Well, that’s-”

“I have personally reviewed several of his essays dealing with significant events in Equestria’s past,” Cornelius went on, “and found them to both be concise and considerate for the subject. Does that sound like the sort of pony who would try to take over Equestria and enslave us all?”

“Well, no,” conceded Lightwing, clearly losing his steam. “But-”

“I don’t know what science-fiction book you’ve been reading, but you are going to have to learn to distinguish between fantasy and reality,” Cornelius said, with amazing composure, while keeping his gaze firmly and sternly locked with Lightwing’s. “Princess Celestia trusts this stallion, and that should be good enough for anypony. If it still somehow isn’t satisfactory for you, we can take you to the courts and have the Princesses themselves vouch for him.”

Lightwing looked taken aback. The haughty, smug, superior attitude he had been wearing while grilling me was long gone. He looked from Cornelius to me, then back again, then drew in a deep breath, obviously trying to maintain his composure. 

“This isn’t the end of it,” he told me, stiffly. “I still intend to keep my eye on you. One false step, and you’re mine.”

And with that, he turned around and went off to take another car, the note tucked back under his wing. Cornelius stood there, calm and impassive, though still glaring after Lightwing. I, for my part, was full of awe and gratitude.

“Cornelius…” I muttered. “I...thanks.”

“Don’t mention it, David,” said Cornelius, in a mollified tone. “You’re a good boy. I couldn’t sit there and let you be abused like that. The nerve of that young scoundrel!”

He settled back down to go back to sleep, but I still felt troubled. That pegasus accused me of writing that letter, for having disdain and disgust for the way Equestria was run, for seeking to take it over. How could he think I would be like that? I was still baffled by the fact that a television show based on Equestria’s life, specifically Twilight and her friends, existed. If I’d ever seen anything like that, I would definitely have remembered. 

The whole thing was ridiculous. The missing page from my notebook must have been something else. I don’t know who wrote that letter, but I would rather dive face-first into a patch of poison joke than overthrow the Princesses. Comforted by this, I finally drifted back off to sleep as the train rolled on.


***


I was deep in a dream full of pieces of torn paper flying around me like a swarm of aggressive birds, when I was shaken awake by a hoof on my shoulder. With a snort, I sat up, readjusting my skewed glasses.

“What time is it?” I asked.

“Just after 1,” said Cornelius. “The food trolley came by, so I got you this, in case you were hungry when you woke up.”

He handed me a bagel.

“Thanks,” I said, taking a bite out of it. “Are we there yet?”

“Nearly. You should take a look.”

I looked out the window, swallowed hard, and felt my jaw fall open.

The plains around us were still covered in snow, but up ahead, there was no snow at all. A hilly, grassy valley stretched out before us. Sticking out of the ground like stalagmites were great spires of red, blue, and purple crystal. Standing tall amongst a midst of these was an enormous, blue tower-like building, reminding me of the Eiffel Tower. Even from this distance, the whole area seemed to be effused with a crystalline glow.

“Sparklerrific indeed,” was all I could muster.

“What’s that?” Cornelius asked.

“Er, just a word a friend told me,” I said, shaking my head to regain my focus. “I’ve never seen anyplace like it.”

“Neither have I,” said the old donkey. “And I’ve seen many things in my travels.”

The train finally pulled to a stop at a station about half a mile from the Empire. Cornelius and I got up and followed the few ponies stepping out, my bagel long finished. Lightwing was nowhere to be seen. Thank goodness.

As the two of us got closer (Cornelius was surprisingly quick-hoofed for an old donkey), the crystals sticking out of the ground seemed to get shinier and shinier. Two red ones stood as a kind of gate, with three diamond-shaped gems floating between the tips. A path wound its way from them straight to the Empire itself, so that was what we followed.

Finally, we came within the boundaries themselves. Every building seemed to be made of crystal, and even the streets seemed to have a glass-like sheen. But what was most striking of all were the ponies. They all looked like Earth ponies, but their coats gleamed like polished gemstones, so that they all seemed to glow, and, unless my eyes were mistaken, they were semi-transparent as well. So these were the Crystal Ponies.

“Magnificent,” breathed Cornelius, looking about. “Simply magnificent!”

Soon enough, we found ourselves heading toward the blue tower-like building, which I now saw must be the castle of the Empire. Doors leading into it were made in the ‘legs’ of it. What looked like a snowflake formed an emblem just beneath it. Above this, floating between two vertical spikes, one of which extended from the castle’s underside and the other from the ground, was a blue, heart-shaped gem. If the naming of things continued to follow the same pattern, that must be the Crystal Heart.

“Welcome, Dave, Cornelius!”

I looked up. A pony was galloping right towards us. I soon recognized her as Cadence as she came to a halt right in front of us, beaming.

“It’s so good to see you again!” she said.

“It’s good to see you too, Cadence,” I said, bowing just to be safe.

Cornelius bowed as low as his old legs would allow.

“Your servant, princess,” he said, humbly.

Cadence smiled, if possible, even wider. From behind her, I could see three more ponies approaching. Two were Princess Luna and Minister Ironmane (Celestia was nowhere to be seen), and the third was a unicorn stallion who I assumed was Twilight’s brother and Cadence’s husband, Shining Armor. 

He was a tall, strongly-built stallion, almost as big as Big Macintosh. His coat was pure white, with a mane and tail striped with two different shades of blue, and even his eyes were blue. His cutie mark resembled a shield with what looked like the same six-pointed star in Twilight’s mark in the middle. He had a genial, benevolent face, the kind you’d like to see in a good friend.

“Princess Luna, where’s Princess Celestia?” I asked.

“She decided to remain in Canterlot to watch the castle,” said Luna. “She has handled the duties of two princesses before, after all.”

“Oh. Well, I suppose that makes sense.”

I bowed to Luna, but wasn’t sure how to show the correct amount of respect to Shining Armor, as he was a prince and Captain of the Royal Guard. So first, I bowed to him, saying ‘Your Highness’, and then saluted, saying ‘Captain’. However, he merely chuckled.

“No need to be so formal,” he said, in a very mellow voice that wasn’t quite like a surfer-dude, but pretty close. “Just Shining Armor is fine. And you’re Dave, I take it? Twilie’s told me a lot about you.”

‘Twilie’? Was that seriously his nickname for her? That...that was just adorable.

“Has she?” I asked, trying not to laugh, lest he take it the wrong way.

“She says you’re a good friend, and a hard worker,” said Shining Armor. “Pulling all-nighters for the council. She’s sucked you into her way of doing homework, huh?”

“Ah, well,” I said, modestly. “She’s said nothing but good things about you, too.”

Shining grinned.

“Well, now that you both have arrived,” said Minister Ironmane, “we can get down to business.”

“But first,” said Cadence, “why don’t we show you to your rooms?”

“That’d be wonderful, Princess,” said Cornelius.

With that, with the princesses, prince, and minister leading the way, the six of us made for the castle itself, while I used every ounce of willpower I had to keep myself from looking up and making myself dizzy.


***


The architecture within the castle was quite beautiful, and remarkably pristine after 1,000 years. I didn’t want to contradict Sure Shot, but, based on what I’d seen when we arrived, the Crystal Empire could qualify as the ‘crown jewel’ of Equestria. It was shiny all over, and practically made of jewel-material, after all.

The rooms where Cornelius and I would be staying were very cozy. They had large beds, velvet hangings, and crystal-sculpted ornamentations. Not a speck of dust anywhere, either. I really hated to admit it, but King Sombra’s curse had at least preserved everything within the Empire.

After that, as part of our official business, we were given a tour of the Empire itself. I fell into talk with Shining Armor as we went. He talked about some of the fun times he and Twilight shared when they were younger, stuff that warmed my heart like a heated oven, like them tracking down imaginary monsters together for Twilight to study. He talked about how he’d always wanted to be part of the royal guard ever since he was a colt, and had distinguished himself so well that his superior, Sergeant Thunderous, had recommended him to be promoted to the rank of captain. 

It was interesting to hear about the kinds of things he faced as a member of the royal guard, let alone as the captain. It seemed that, despite Equestria’s normally peaceable atmosphere, there were still forces that threatened the country’s way of life, such as the Changelings who attacked en masse at his and Cadence’s own wedding. He deeply regretted being duped by the queen so easily, and even more so that he had exploded at Twilight when she tried to warn him about her suspicions, but it seemed like they’d made amends since then, which was good.

Speaking of the wedding, I asked how he and Cadence had met, if it wasn’t too personal. Here, Shining Armor looked a bit sheepish and just said they’d met in high school, when Cadence was already working as Twilight’s go-to foalsitter. I couldn’t imagine what was embarrassing about that, but Cadence had a sly smile on her face, which seemed to say she knew something Shining Armor wasn’t about to disclose. All she said was that if I saw him back then, I wouldn’t believe it was the same stallion. What, was she implying he was a geek or something when he was a teenager? This guy? Puh-lease.

After the castle, our tour took us out into the streets, and past many buildings, structures, and landmarks. The sun dazzled against the surfaces of the buildings. It was amazing how much one could make and mold out of pure crystal. Plus, we could see more Crystal Ponies milling about, and some Crystal Foals playing with Crystal Sheep. As we went, Cadence and Shining Armor filled us in on what little empirical history they had learned from their time safeguarding the place and being around the Crystal Ponies, though there was still much to catch up on.

“And speaking of,” said Cadence, as we reached the door of an official-looking building made of brownish crystal. 

She opened the door, and what should meet my eyes?

Papers.

Just stacks and stacks of official-looking papers sitting on dusty-looking tables.

“1,000 years of being off the face of the map leaves quite a backlog,” said Shining Armor.

I already knew where this was heading. My writing hand was beginning to tingle unpleasantly.


***


When I imagined coming to see the Crystal Empire, this was definitely not part of what I had in mind. Then again, this was what most of my position as a delegate amounted to: lots of documents and bureaucratic busywork. The only consolation I had was that Cornelius, Ironmane, and the princesses were just as swamped as I was, but then again, they had several years’ more experience in this field than I did, so this was less of an unpleasant surprise to them, and more of an expected routine.

The papers included lists of imports and exports sent to and from the Empire (such as crystal berries and a special mineral used for therapeutic mud baths), needs for financial aid, benefits of remaining close friends, and so on. To be fair, it was mostly informational mumbo-jumbo to keep on file for future reference, not necessitating essay-level writing, though I did need a dictionary to understand some of the jargon it threw at me, and a lot of it required signatures. As my hand was already tender from spending so many hours working on my speech, and copying notes for Ironmane, this was not a pleasant experience. If I didn’t develop carpal tunnel syndrome by the end of this, I would be very much surprised…

However, I started to draw a blank when it came to documents about trade and export. It was asking for my signature and input as though I were the potentate of an Equestrian settlement. I was in no position of authority back home, and my only Equestrian territory was Ponyville. What was I supposed to say about opening trade between the Empire and ‘my’ territory?

“Something wrong, Dave?” Cadence asked, as she came up to me.

“Er, sort of,” I said. “I don’t have a connection with home right now, so I can’t really negotiate trade agreements between the Empire and Earth right now. And I don’t mean this Earth, I mean the Earth I come from. Know what I mean?”

Cadence nodded, though I couldn’t help wondering if she actually understood what I’d just said.

“Ponyville’s the only ‘turf’ I have, so to speak,” I went on. “I guess I could arrange something with Mayor Mare.”

“That’d be just fine,” said Cadence. “In the meantime, we can help you draw up some contracts for future review.”

“Thanks, Cadence. Having Twilight help me with this stuff has been really beneficial, but without her, I feel kinda lost. I’ve never had to deal with this stuff before.”

“Oh, don’t worry,” said Cadence, as she levitated a quill and started writing on a fresh piece of paper. “Some of the best of us feel a bit lost without a helping hoof guiding us along.”

I saw her cast a look in Shining Armor’s direction. He caught it, smiled, and turned back to his own work. From there, the rest of the afternoon passed in silence, save for rustling papers, the scratching of quills and pens, and the occasional unconscious sigh.


***


“Hand...pain...ow…”

It was evening. The last signature had been signed. The last paper was whisked away. We were finished. I was tired, hungry, and aching. Just twitching my fingers was an effort. This was why I preferred keyboards to pencil and paper. 

“Excellent, everypony,” said Cadence. “I realize how exhausting this must have been for all of you, so please, join us in the banquet hall for a well-deserved feast.”

She, Shining Armor, Luna, and Ironmane looked none the worse for wear. Even Cornelius looked less tired than I did, and he did most of the writing by mouth. They were all much more used to this than I was. I envied them for it. Stiffly, I followed everyone out of the office building. It was already night, and the moon was hanging high above. Darn it, I missed Luna turning the day to night.

Dinner was excellent that night. We were waited on by Crystal Ponies who brought rich-smelling, wonderful-tasting dishes from the castle’s kitchens. The ponies really seemed to have recovered the full use of their respective talents after being put into limbo for 1,000 years. Then again, it probably didn’t even feel like that to them. For all I knew, it might have felt like it was just yesterday to them. It wasn’t a pleasant thought.

After dinner, Cornelius and I were shown back to our suites, where we’d spend the night before heading home again tomorrow. A warm wave went through my body at the thought of returning to Ponyville and my pony friends. It would feel so good to be back.

I was stopped at the door by a familiar regal voice.

“Sir Dave?”

I turned. Princess Luna was standing right behind me.

“I forgot to mention earlier that Celestia and I received your speech,” she said. “Once we’ve looked over it properly, we will send it back with our feedback. Does that sound agreeable?”

“Of course, Your Highness,” I said.

I made a short bow to her, and she smiled. 

“By the by, I felt I should tell you: I’ve seen my fair share of junk food dreams, but yours from last night was...something.”

Oh, she saw that one, too? Must have been quite the show for her.

“Good night, then, Sir Dave.”

“Good night, Princess.”

She walked off, and I went into my suite, ready for a good night’s sleep. Tomorrow, I’d be Ponyville-bound at last.

> Back to Ponyville
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The train doors hissed open, and I stepped out onto the platform. I took a deep breath of cool, frosty air, and let out a sigh that left a puff of steam floating in front of me. It felt so good to be back in Ponyville, after the week I’d had.

“Dave!”

I knew that voice! A gray blur collided with my torso, almost knocking me back into the train as a pair of forelegs wrapped around me.

“Derpy!” I cried, reciprocating the hug as best I could. “What a welcome to come back to! I’ve missed you!”

“I missed you too, neighbor,” she said, giving me one of her ‘goggle-eyed’ smiles. “I was just finishing my shift when I saw you come in. Our little side of Ponyville isn’t quite the same without you. What have you been up to?”

“Long story. I can tell you on the way.”

“All right!”

Derpy released me and fluttered beside me as we went off out of the station. Now that I could see her fully, I could see that, not only was she wearing the scarf I’d commissioned for her, but it looked like she, like me, had put on a bit of holiday pudge. She must have noticed where my eyes strayed, because she gave me a sheepish grin and patted her protruding stomach.

“Yeah, I let myself get a little porky over the holidays.”

“Oh, I wasn’t trying to imply-” I began, hastily.

“No, no, it’s ok,” said Derpy, sincerely. “A lot of ponies get like this after Hearth’s Warming. Plus, I am like the worst of chocoholics, Dave, and I know it. Sparkler’s always trying to convince me to cut down, and I always promise I will, but...well, it’s never until it’s too late,” she added, ruefully. “I wish I had her metabolism. That girl of mine could eat Sugarcube Corner itself and still not gain a pound.”

“I’m trying to slim down as well,” I said. “At least 10 pounds before the start of spring. New Year’s resolution and all.”

“I think you can do it,” said Derpy, brightening up again. “You’re a hard worker, Dave. Just look at how you and the Crusaders stuck to putting that cart together.”

I smiled back at her, glad of her support.

“So, where’ve you been the last week?” she asked.

“In Canterlot,” I said. “It all started last Wednesday, after my trip to Cloudsdale the day before…”


***


By the time we reached our neck of the woods, I’d regaled Derpy with the events of the last week. However, I left out the bit about Lightwing and the note. I didn’t want her to fuss about a false accusation made against me. In any case, she was already agog about the Crystal Empire.

“Wow,” she breathed. “I had no idea…”

“I’m planning to deliver an official speech to Ponyville on the subject,” I said. “I just need to wait for the princesses’ approval. Just, don’t tell anyone else yet.”

She nodded to show she understood.

“This is some big stuff you’ve got going on, Dave,” she said. “To think you first arrived in Ponyville having to start from scratch. Now look at you: ready to deliver a speech on behalf of the princesses. Your noodle arms are just full of surprises.”

“Er, thanks, Derpy,” I said, hoping that was a compliment. “It’s been a heck of a time, these last several months, and I doubt I’ve seen the craziest.”

Derpy giggled.

“Well, you probably wanna settle in after your trip,” she said. “The kids are out and about right now, but they’ll be glad to know you’re home again. I know I am.”

She gave me a quick squeeze around the shoulders, then flew off toward her own house. I took a quick look about. There was no sign of activity in Moonlight’s home. Curious, I knocked on the door.

“Moonlight?”

No answer. I knocked again.

“Moonlight?”

Still no answer. Maybe she was at Sugarcube Corner. Well, once I’d settled in, I’d head down there, see her, Pinkie, and the Cakes.

As I came in through the front door, I saw a package sitting right beside it inside. Puzzled, I bent down to take a closer look, just to make sure it really was for me. When I saw that it was, I picked it up and brought it with me to the kitchen table. It was kind of heavy, and since I already had my saddlebag to deal with, I felt a little off balance. However, I managed to place it on the table. Curious as to what it could possibly be, I opened it up.

Inside was a compact brew-maker, kind of like the Keurig brand back home. Included with it was a new coffee cup and many different packs for making different kinds of teas, coffees, and hot chocolates. There was also a card, and flipping it open, the mystery of who had sent it was solved.

“Happy Hearth’s Warming, Dave!
From Carrot, Cup, Pound, and Pumpkin Cake”

Now I remembered. Mr. Cake said their gift for me had been placed on back-order. Well, I could honestly say it was well worth the wait. They’d be glad to know it had arrived safe and sound. I put it in pride of place on my kitchen counter, along with the coffee cup, then set about unpacking.


*** 


Ahh...it felt good to get out of those stuffy Canterlot clothes and back into more casual duds. All I had to do now was wait for the princesses to approve my speech, then I’d probably have to ask the mayor to arrange a town meeting for it. In the meantime, I’d have to catch up on what I’d missed while I was away. For one thing, I was woefully behind on my piano practicing, so I had to get back into the swing of that right away. For another, I had to finish the sign for the Brimstone Lounge. But for now, a visit to Sugarcube Corner was in order.

The streets seemed oddly quiet as I headed down. It couldn’t be because of the weather. It was no colder than any other day so far, and there was no blizzard going on. This was peculiar.

I opened the door to Sugarcube Corner, the familiar smell of at least a dozen different baked goods greeting my nostrils as I did so. Barely 3 seconds later,

“WELCOME BACK, DAVE!”

I was so glad I didn’t have a weak heart, otherwise I might have keeled over on the spot. As it was, my heart took a bit of time to calm down again, during which I took in the scene around me. It was very familiar: a lot of ponies crowding around, beaming at me, balloons and streamers decorating the place, and there, in the center of it all, was Pinkie, her toothy smile as bright as a lighthouse beacon.

“There’s the man of the hour!” she chirped, bouncing over and nuzzling right up against me. “Welcome back, Davie!”

“Pinkie!” I spluttered. “How could you possibly have known when I would be back?”

“I asked Derpy if some of her coworkers could keep an eye out for trains coming back from the frozen north, so I planned in advance for it.”

“Wow,” I said, impressed. “Really?”

Pinkie giggled so heartily that she snorted.

“Nope! Pinkie Sense!”

“Oh. Guess I should have seen that coming. You seriously threw together a party just for my returning to Ponyville?”

“Of course! You were overdue for a few occasions I missed, and everypony here missed having you around, so I thought it was perfect!”

“Thanks, everypony,” I said, a slight huskiness to my voice. “This really means a lot to me, all of you going to so much trouble.”

“You’re worth the trouble, dude,” said Lyra.

Everypony nodded or made noises of agreement. Bless them.

“All righty, everypony!” said Pinkie. “Now that Davie’s here, let’s get this party started!”

Tumultuous cheers filled the room, and before long, I was being swarmed by ponies, all asking me about what I’d been up to be away for so long. I told them I would be making a big speech about what I’d been up to soon enough, and that I’d been away in Canterlot on ‘official business’. There were some who wanted to know what this official business was, but I just said ‘wait and see’. Thankfully, that seemed good enough for them, and the party progressed more or less normally after that. It looked like Twi and the others hadn’t told anypony about the Empire, either.

The Crusaders were among the partygoers, and the first chance they got, they bounced around my legs in a circle, yelling ‘Dave’s back! Dave’s back!’, and it took a while for them to settle down. Finally, however, they stopped their dance.

“So what have you girls been up to?” I asked. “Any new Crusades?”

“Just one,” said Apple Bloom. “Cutie Mark Crusaders Snow Sculptors!”

“Really?” I asked, puzzled. “Didn’t you already do that by making Fort Hooves?”

“Oh, no-no-no,” said Dinky, with the air of one explaining a difficult math problem. “That was Cutie Mark Crusaders Fort Building. We were making snow sculptures! Totally different!”

“Totally,” agreed Scootaloo.

“Er, if you say so,” I said, deciding to play along. “And how did it go?”

“Not so well,” said Sweetie Belle, ruefully. “I was fine with making snow ponies, but the others wanted to make the world’s biggest snow pony.”

“It was gonna be the best thing ever!” said Scootaloo, with sad longing. “But when we tried to lump the snow together, it got messy and didn’t look anything like a pony.”

“But then we thought we could save it,” said Apple Bloom, “and make it into one of them ‘cereal’ works of art.”

“You mean ‘surreal’?” I asked.

“Yeah!” said Apple Bloom. “Cuz that just means art that looks weird, right?”

“Well, if you want to look at it that way,” I said. "Though I think 'abstract' is the word you're looking for."

“Well, we made it look weird, all right,” said Sweetie Belle, “but still no cutie marks.”

“Ohh,” I said, sympathetically. “Sorry, girls.”

“And then Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon went by,” said Dinky.

“Uh oh,” I muttered. “What did they do, laugh?”

“Well, yeah,” said Apple Bloom, “but…”

She tailed off. I raised an eyebrow.

“But what?” I prompted.

“Well, they laughed, but, it wasn’t like they were really laughin’ at us,” said Apple Bloom, sounding as though she couldn’t believe what she was saying.

“Just laughing at the sculpture,” said Dinky. “They didn’t even say anything to us.”

“We think they might be sick or something,” said Sweetie Belle.

“Yeah,” said Scootaloo. “When those two waste an opportunity to make fun of us, something’s gotta be up.”

Now that was unusual. From what the Crusaders had told me when we’d met, and from what I’d seen when I first met Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon, it seemed like those two were determined to make their lives miserable. Now they weren’t even bothering to insult them when they’d made a mistake? Maybe…

“Well, is this necessarily a bad thing?” I asked. “Are you saying you want them to bully you?”

“No!” said the four of them, simultaneously.

“Then there’s nothing to worry about. Don’t let them bother you, even if they’re not doing it directly. Whatever’s up with them isn’t worth worrying about.”

“Ok, if you say so,” said Scootaloo, though all four of them still looked unsure. 

“We do have a new Crusade in mind, Dave,” said Apple Bloom, perking up again. 

“Oh yeah?”

“Yep! We’re gonna need the biggest rubber band we can find, a buncha frisbees, a bag of marbles, a golf club, and a gallon of bubble soap!”

She and her companions beamed widely at this, but I felt at a loss for what to say. After that, they rejoined the party, leaving me completely baffled. What on Earth would they need stuff like that for?

“Well, here’s the elusive Mr. Dave!”

I looked up. Bon Bon and Lyra were trotting right toward me. It might have just been me, but there was something...different about the way Lyra was carrying herself. Her belly looked as if it’d shrunken a little bit. Not a whole lot, but just noticeable. Bon Bon looked much the same as ever.

“Hi, girls,” I said.

I was glad to see them, sure enough, but I was also a bit nervous. I was behind on my piano practice, and I’d been set back slightly in my diet and exercise plan. They were sure to notice something.

“Good to see you again!” said Bon Bon. “Been keeping up with your diet and exercise while you were away?”

“As best I could,” I said. “It looks like you two have,” I added, hoping to distract from the ambiguity of my answer. “Lyra, you look great!”

“Thanks, Dave,” said Lyra, looking pleased. “I feel great, too!”

Bon Bon smiled. However, as she looked back at me, she suddenly went rigid, and her eyes narrowed. I felt a shiver go down my spine. Her expression was exactly like a parent’s when they detect evidence of a child’s wrongdoing. She took a couple of sniffs.

“What’s that I smell on you, Dave?” she asked, in a would-be casual voice.

“What are you talking about?” I asked. “I know I put deodorant on today.”

“Oh, it’s not that,” she said.

She took a long, deep sniff, as though smelling something beyond normal olfactory sensations. 

“It’s…pizza,” she said, finally. “You had pizza recently, didn’t you?”

Lyra put a hoof to her mouth in shock.

“Dave!” she gasped. “Pizza? On your diet? Without me?”

“Lyra!” snapped Bon Bon.

“What?”

How in the name of Doyle had she found out? I wasn’t even wearing the same clothes from that day!

“I...I...Come on, girls, it slipped my mind!” I said, defensively. “Twilight and the girls had just come back! In the excitement, everything just kinda...You know!”

“Dave, Dave, Dave,” said Bon Bon, sadly, shaking her head. “How do you expect to get anywhere if you don’t stick to the regimen? I mean, pizza, for pony’s sake! That’s one of the worst offenders!”

“I know, I know, and I’m sorry!” I said, guiltily. “I just forgot!”

“Well, be sure not to forget again, Dave,” said Bon Bon.

She wasn’t yelling, but part of me wished she had. The cold disappointment was torturous. I felt like a bad child caught stealing from the cookie jar.

“Oh, don’t act so high and mighty on him, Bonnie,” Lyra said, suddenly.

“And what is that supposed to mean?” asked Bon Bon, raising an eyebrow.

“I caught her smuggling mini-chocolates one night, Dave,” Lyra said to me. “She can dish it out, but she can’t take it.”

Bon Bon’s face turned a brilliant shade of magenta.

“Don’t be ridiculous, Lyra!” she spluttered. “I wasn’t ‘smuggling’ them! I was moving them to a better storage container. Certain chocolates have different consistency depending on the temperature they’re kept in,” she added, in the lofty voice of a scholar.

“Oh, don’t gimme that, Bonnie,” said Lyra, unconvinced. “The proof is in the pudding. Or, in this case, the pudding belly.”

“Excuse me?” asked Bon Bon, indignantly. “I do not have a pudding belly!”

“Wanna bet?”

Before Bon Bon could do anything or speak in protest, Lyra prodded her stomach with her hoof, and I distinctly saw it sink in, as if she were poking a marshmallow. Bon Bon’s mouth scrunched up, as though trying to suppress a giggle, but she looked furious with herself.

“Well, well, well,” said Lyra, triumphantly. “You’ve been getting on my case about losing weight, and I have been. I’ve lost 5 pounds since we started! And now, here you are, still keeping a bit of pudge yourself. Oh, the irony’s thick as custard, my dear Bonnie.”

Bon Bon’s mouth worked furiously, her cheeks scarlet. For a second, she looked ready to explode. Then, she let out a very equine snort, turned, and stomped away. I watched her go, a feeling of guilt still lingering. Lyra saw my face, reared up, and put a comforting foreleg around my shoulders.

“Don’t feel bad, Dave,” she said. “Bonnie likes it when things are going the way she plans them, and she hates admitting she’s just as impulsive as anypony else. She’ll get over it. She always does.”

“You sure?” I asked.

“‘Course I’m sure,” said Lyra, putting her other hoof on her hip in a cocky way. “You’re talking to her closest friend, after all.”

“Oh, yeah.”

“And don’t worry about the pizza thing,” she said. “All diets allow for cheat days. It’s one of the things I actually got out of those diet books Bonnie kept shoving in my face. Where was it, by the way?” she added, suddenly eager.

“Err, I think it was Little Romero’s.”

“Ohh-ho-ho, good choice,” said Lyra, licking her lips. “They make the best pizza in Canterlot! ...Aw, jeez, now you’ve got me hooked. Thanks a lot, man.”

She pouted, then grinned.

“I’m just teasing. Enjoy the party, bro.”

She gave my shoulder a squeeze, then released me to go mingle. Looking around, I saw Rainbow Dash telling a story to a group of ponies, who seemed to be hanging raptly on her every word. Seeing her gave me a sudden idea, and I walked over as she finished, leaving her audience awestruck.

“Hey, Rainbow Dash?”

Rainbow looked up.

“What’s up, dude?”

“Have you ever heard of a pegasus named, er, what was it...Lightwing?”

“Lightwing?”

Rainbow tapped her chin thoughtfully.

“...Nope, doesn’t ring a bell. Why?”

“Oh, it’s nothing major,” I said, trying to sound offhand. “Just some pegasus who was kind of rude to me on the train. Saw me in Cloudsdale last week.”

Rainbow snorted.

“Typical. Don’t let it bother you, man. We’ll show ‘em you’re better than the old stories.”

Somehow I doubted that. He seemed pretty set in his ways, despite Cornelius making him back off. Still, it didn’t seem appropriate to contradict Rainbow, when she had such faith in me, so I just nodded and went back to the party.


***


The party went on for 2 or 3 hours, and I was having more fun than I’d had in days. I managed to find the Cakes and thank them for the coffee brewer. They were indeed relieved that it had finally arrived, but Mr. Cake warned me about having it around when Pinkie was visiting. Apparently, my pudgy pink pal and caffeine were a bad mix, which was the reason why Sugarcube Corner didn’t serve coffee.

However, in spite of how great this party was, I couldn’t catch sight of a certain somepony who should have been there. I decided to ask Pinkie for an answer to this mystery, and found her making balloon animals, entertaining the Crusaders.

“Hey, Pinkie?”

“Hi, Davie!” said Pinkie, letting loose an orange tiger-like balloon. “Enjoying the party?”

“Yeah, of course. Just wondering, have you seen Moonlight?”

“Moonlight?”

Pinkie scanned the crowd, pursing her lips. Like me, she didn’t seem to be able to spot a combination of white and forget-me-not blue amongst the crowd of partying ponies.

“That’s weird. I’m sure I invited her.”

“Is she alright?”

I was starting to feel a little concerned with her absence.

“Well, now that you mention it, she did look kinda sleepy when we all came back. She said she’s been writing a story in between work days. It’s been on her mind for a while, and she wanted to get it down before she lost inspiration. She told me she was alright, though, so I just let her do her thing.”

“Huh,” I muttered. “Maybe that explains why she didn’t answer when I knocked at her door. I’ll go see her later.” 

“Ooh! I have an idea! Take along some cake for her! That’ll grant you entry rights! Nopony can turn down a cake delivery!”

“Err, sure, I’ll do that,” I said, slightly puzzled, but not wishing to question her logic again. “Has she still been doing all right here?”

“Yep!” said Pinkie, brightly. “We’re running like clockwork, thanks to her!”

She paused, looking like a new idea had struck her.

“Come to think of it, why do they always say something works like clockwork? I mean, has anypony ever been inside a clock before? Wouldn’t it be really cramped with all those cogs and springs and stuff? But the clock tower’s big enough, so I guess-”

(And there she goes again…)

Pinkie was still going as I wondered what to do next. I decided that, after the party, I’d go and see if Moonlight was awake, and bring along the Daring Do book. It’d be a nice ‘I’m back’ surprise for the two of us to read it together. Yeah, that sounded like the proper way to go. For now, though, it was time to enjoy being back amongst my Ponyville friends-

*Splat!*

A glob of cake splattered against my face. Some ponies gasped, others laughed. A raspy laugh told me all too plainly who had been responsible: Rainbow Dash. Wiping as much as I could off of my face, I turned to face her, the pegasus giggling madly to herself. When she saw me with the handful of cake in my hand, a devious grin on my face, she stopped laughing at once, her expression sheepish.

“Er...let’s talk about this.”

“Nope.”

I tossed, Rainbow dodged, and Pinkie leaped up like a shark breaching the water to catch it in her mouth.

“Mmm! Good shot, Davie!”

Sugarcube Corner erupted with laughter, but nopony was laughing harder than me and Rainbow Dash, except maybe Pinkie. Now this was something you couldn’t get in Canterlot, unless three slapstick-happy knuckleheads instigated it.


***


It was later in the afternoon by the time the party was over. Before going to check on Moonlight, I decided to apply a new coat to the sign. Once it was dry, it should be safe to apply the letters at last. Then, I took a crack at the piano. While still not what one might call an expert, I was getting better. I could at least do ‘Chopsticks’ with only one or two errors. It was the best I could do at the moment, especially with my still-aching writing hand. I was definitely making progress, and that greatly encouraged me.

At last, I was back in front of Moonlight’s front door, a box containing a slice of cake in my hand, courtesy of Pinkie. the Daring Do book held beneath it. Once again, I knocked. Once again, no answer.

“Moonlight? You awake?”

Silence. This time, I tried the doorknob. To my surprise, it wasn’t locked. Slowly, I pushed the door open and crept inside. It was dark, except for a single light coming through her bedroom door. A lamp had been knocked over, and a mess of papers and trash lay scattered on the floor. A chill ran up my spine at this. Moonlight was not the kind of pony to leave a mess like this, let alone an upended lamp. What could have happened?

Softly, shutting the front door as quietly as I could behind me, I tiptoed into the living room. Before heading toward the light at the end, I made a stop in the kitchen and placed the boxed cake inside her fridge, then proceeded onwards. This probably wasn’t the smartest thing I’d ever done, but curiosity and worry got the better of me. The silence was oddly eerie as I inched closer and closer. My heart nearly failed when I tread on what sounded like broken glass, but it turned out to be forgotten candy. Moonlight had really let this place go…

As quietly as possible, I pushed the bedroom door open and peered inside. Moonlight was asleep, safe and sound, at a writing desk, cheek pillowed on her forelegs. A stack of papers sat beside her, stirring with her slow breathing. She looked so adorable that way, and it was a relief to see that no harm had come to her. From behind, I could see that the papers were typewritten, the typewriter itself pushed to the side so she could rest. So this must be the story she was working on. Glancing down, I read what was on the top page.

“‘This can only be the work of Professor Steelhorn and his cronies’, said Detective Dave, grimly. ‘They’re up to their old tricks.’”

‘Detective Dave’? She was writing a mystery novel, and had named a detective after me? I didn’t know what to say. Should I be flattered or embarrassed?

Moonlight suddenly stirred, making me jump, the book landing on the bed. She yawned, stretched, and rubbed her eyes, her wings ruffling lightly.

“Wow, I really needed that,” she mumbled.

Her eyes fell on the alarm clock sitting nearby, and she gasped.

“Oh no! Look at the time! I missed Pinkie’s party! I-”

She wheeled around, and finally caught sight of me.

“Eep!” she squeaked, almost falling out of her seat.

“Whoa, easy there!” I said. “Didn’t mean to startle you.”

Gradually, the shock of an intruder in her home while she slept dropped away, and once the initial panic passed, she looked pleased.

“Dave?! You’re back! I know it’s only been a week, but-”

“It felt like forever,” I finished for her, grinning.

“Exactly,” said Moonlight. “I’m so sorry I missed your party. I was just really tired, and I was only going to rest my eyes, but…”

“Don’t worry about it,” I said. “I’m just glad to see you now.”

“Me too,” said Moonlight, reaching up and patting my hand.

Then, her eyes strayed to the stack of papers on her desk. Her cheeks flushed.

“Err, did you see…?” she began.

“No,” I lied.

I figured it would better to make it look unassuming. I’d basically spied on her work, and she obviously didn’t want it made public yet.

“The door was open, and the living room was a mess, and I...well, I got a bit worried, so I went in to see if you were all right.”

“Ohh,” said Moonlight, comprehending. “I forgot to lock the door. And I guess I did get a bit careless about picking up...Well, don’t worry about it. It’s just a little side project I’ve been working on, and I lost track of things.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah, a story. I’ll definitely show it to you when it’s done. I just want to make sure it’s perfect first.”

“I can hardly wait,” I said, honestly.

She smiled at me, then her eyes fell on the book on the bed.

“Is that-?”

“Yep,” I said. “Daring Do and the Stone of Light. Took it with me but never read it. I thought it’d be better to wait until the two of us could read it together. I mean, if now’s a good time.”

Moonlight smiled even wider.

“Now’s a perfect time.”

And within minutes, the two of us were sitting on her bed, immersed in the next adventure of Daring Do.


***


The sun was setting by the time Moonlight and I reached the halfway point. We looked up from the book and stared at each other, mouths open in horror.

“I don’t believe it…” I muttered. “I can’t believe it…”

“Dowser,” murmured Moonlight. “How could he be…?”

I ran a hand through my hair. My forehead was damp with sweat.

“Yearling sure knows how to throw a curveball.”

“You’re telling me! A new saga, and already she’s not messing around!”

“I’ve seen series like that,” I said, grimly. “One in particular got real fourth book onwards. I’m talking huge tone-shift!”

“Wow…”

The two of us sat in silence for some time, still processing the impossibility we’d just had to swallow. At last, I said,

“Well, I guess we’ll see where this goes next time we can do this.”

“Mm-hmm,” said Moonlight, nodding. Then, as if struck by a new idea, she said, “By the way, you are looking a little skinnier.”

“Am I?” I asked, looking down at myself. “I hadn’t really noticed. You look as slim as ever.”

“I know,” said Moonlight, looking down at her own trim middle. “Pinkie’s always encouraging me to have whatever I want at Sugarcube Corner, but no matter what I eat, I don’t get any fatter.”

“Something you and Sparkler have in common, according to Derpy,” I said.

Moonlight giggled, then sighed contentedly as she nestled beside me.

“It’s good to have you back, Dave.”

Smiling, I put an arm around her and pulled her in closer for a side-hug.

“It’s good to be back, Moonlight. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: Canterlot’s pretty amazing, but it’s no Ponyville.”

> Speech Prep
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

It wasn’t until I woke up the next day, at 8 o’clock, that I realized that Lyra and Bon Bon hadn’t come for me this morning. A feeling of uneasy disquiet came over me. I wondered if the scene at the party had done more damage than Lyra anticipated... 

In the meantime, I was finally ready to start painting on the words for the Brimstone Lounge sign. With a mug of hot cocoa from the brew-maker at my side, and with a paper stencil at the ready, I took slow, deliberate strokes in painting out each word letter by letter. It was a good thing I’d planned ahead with using the stencil, or I would have had to go even slower and be extra careful about the paint bleeding down and ruining the appearance. This was the final project, so I couldn’t afford any mistakes. The thought of that made me slightly edgy, half-expecting some loud noise or sudden appearance to mess me up. Particularly, I half-fancied Pinkie would come bursting in with an idea for what we could do together.

But no, I proceeded uninterrupted until around midday. I had just managed to finish the word ‘Lounge’, when there came a knock at the door. Setting my brush aside, I went over to answer it, and found myself face-to-face with Minister Ironmane.

“Minister!” I blurted in surprise. 

What brought him here? My mind was blank for a few seconds, but then it came to me.

“Is it Sunday already?”

“It is indeed,” said Ironmane. “Have you lost track of the days with the week we’ve all had?”

His tone wasn’t snide or critical. It sounded politely amused, quite a change.

“Er, yeah, kinda,” I said, sheepishly.

“No matter. I have two deliveries for you this week, David. First is your dues, including those from last Sunday, which I regretfully was unable to dole out, due to the circumstances.”

He handed me a sack of bits that was quite a bit heavier than usual. I’d almost forgotten I hadn’t been paid last week.

“And the second is this.”

He levitated a manilla envelope over to me. Puzzled, I flipped it over to look it over. The address said it came from the Canterlot Castle, and was even bearing an official-looking wax seal on the flap.

“Your speech,” explained Ironmane. “The princesses have looked it over, and have deemed it satisfactory. You are free to address Ponyville about the return of the Crystal Empire, at your earliest convenience.”

My puzzlement turned to delight.

“Awesome!” I said. “I can only hope I’ll do it justice.”

“You will,” said Ironmane, with the ghost of a grin on his face. “It would not do to embarrass the crowns with a poorly delivered speech.” 

(Well, no pressure, then…)

“Incidentally,” he went on, “if Dolly Tribune or anypony else from the Ponyville Express is part of your audience, as they most likely will be, and want to ask a few questions, you have my permission to let them interview you. I daresay the other council members may experience the same from reporters in their hometowns. An inevitability, I’m afraid.”

“Oh. Er, right. Thank you, Minister.”

“I trust everything else is going well?”

“Yes, sir. I’ve just gotten started on painting on the words for the Brimstone Lounge sign.”

“Excellent. Construction for the Lounge itself is progressing smoothly as well. We have a taskforce of our finest craftsponies at work on it as we speak. It shouldn't be too long before it's complete.”

“Sounds great!” I said.

“Quite. Well, that should be all. I shall see you again next week, David, if nothing else crops up.”

I nodded in appreciation.

“See you then, Minister.”

In his usual way, Ironmane turned sharply around and made his way back towards Ponyville. Heading back inside, I opened up the envelope to look at my script. Only on the very back did I find writing that wasn’t my own. In very elegant cursive was written,

“A true friend speaks with his heart as well as his mind. You’ve shown you’re capable of just that. Excellent work, David. -Princess Celestia and Princess Luna”

A grin spread across my face. That was more or less what Cornelius had said, while I was still struggling to write this thing. It felt wonderful to know the council had this level of confidence in me, even though I was still one of its newest members.

I glanced down at my watch. If I hurried, I could ask the mayor to arrange a meeting as soon as possible for me to make this speech, then rush over to Lyra and Bon Bon’s for piano practice. This in mind, I went back inside to get changed. The rest of the sign could wait until afterwards.


***


It was a good thing I’d left when I did. Getting to town hall and gaining an audience with the mayor took a while. She was, as her secretary told me when I stated my business, in a conference, but should be finished in due time. I was therefore left to sit in the main hall, twiddling my thumbs like someone waiting to be called into the doctor’s office. Stately and important-looking ponies passed by me while I waited, going about their business, the unicorns with their snouts buried in documents held magically before them.

When I was finally allowed in to see her, several more ostentatious ponies were filing out of a conference room. A few glanced my way, but they kept to themselves. The mayor was the only pony inside, sitting at the table in a high-backed chair. She smiled as she caught sight of me.

“Hello, Dave. You wished to see me?”

“Yes, ma’am,” I said, stepping uncertainly inside. “I only wanted to ask if...if you could arrange a town meeting for Ponyville as soon as possible.”

The mayor raised an eyebrow, curious.

“Because,” I went on, “I have a speech to give, by order of the princesses.”

The mayor’s eyes widened in surprise.

“The princesses?” she asked. “What sort of speech is this?”

There was the very faintest trace of trepidation in her voice. She must have thought it was bad news.

“Nothing to worry about,” I assured her. “It’s actually good news. Very good news. The Crystal Empire’s returned after 1,000 years of being away!”

The mayor looked dumbstruck. It was clear that, whatever she thought I had come to tell her, it wasn’t something like this.

“A...Crystal Empire?” she asked. “Returned, you say? From where? And after 1,000...my goodness!”

“It might be better if I elaborate a bit, mayor,” I said.

As briefly as I could, I explained to the mayor about the Empire, King Sombra, and the disappearance of both, with their sudden reappearance today. She looked utterly flabbergasted by such news.

“I know, it’s a lot to take in,” I said. “But I’ve been tasked with telling Ponyville the good news.”

The mayor stared at me for a few seconds, then her dumbfounded expression relaxed back into a gracious smile.

“All right, then, Dave,” she said. “It will take a little time to alert the press, prepare a venue, get flyers done, et cetera, but we’ll arrange a town meeting where you can give your speech. At most, I’d give it, oh, 2 days. How does that sound?”

“It sounds great!” I said. “Better than I expected! Thanks, mayor.”

“Oh, no, Dave, thank you,” said the mayor, beaming. “Make sure you have this speech down pat by then.”

“No need to fret about that, mayor,” I said, then added, remembering Ironmane’s words, “After all, it wouldn’t do to embarrass the crowns with a poorly delivered speech.”

I bowed myself out, leaving the mayor to herself. I felt a mixture of excitement and nerves battling it out inside me as I took my leave. Enthusiastic as I was to get the news out at last, it was still a fact that I’d be speaking to a big crowd all by myself. Twilight had fantasized about something like months ago, and at that time, the thought of such an idea made me faint. However, over my disconcertion, Cornelius’s voice rang out loud and clear:

“Write as if you were addressing all of them. They will understand. A good friend knows you speak from the heart about important matters, and a good speech is not just a product of the mind, but of the heart, as well…”

He was right. I knew these ponies. I’d spent more than 3 months among them, after all. They’d be more accepting of what I had to say than a crowd of complete strangers, and that was an enormous source of comfort. Soon, Ponyville would be graced with the good news I’d been empowered to deliver, and had spent the last week fine-tuning for their ears.


***


I felt I should have asked Lyra her definition of ‘not staying mad for long’. Bon Bon was sitting on the living room couch, and she did look up as I entered, but she made no verbal greeting. She had her forelegs crossed, and her brow was furrowed.

“Hi, Bon Bon,” I said, with a weak smile.

She said nothing.

“Aw, come on, Grumpy Buns,” said Lyra. “Dave didn’t do anything wrong. Don’t shut him out.”

“I’m not saying he did anything wrong,” said Bon Bon, through gritted teeth. “Nopony’s done anything wrong except me. I’ve already accepted that.”

I exchanged a look with Lyra, who rolled her eyes.

“She’s been acting like this ever since we got home yesterday,” she said. “All huffy that she couldn’t follow her own diet.”

Bon Bon turned her head away from us.

“If a pony who sets a diet can’t follow it themselves, what does that say about them?!” she muttered. “No integrity! No follow-through! No sense of responsibility!”

“Bonnie, you know you don’t mean that,” said Lyra, patiently. “Everypony makes mistakes. Nopony’s perfect.”

“I know,” said Bon Bon, moodily. 

Lyra and I looked at each other again, awkwardly, not sure what to say. This had to be a bizarre dream. Since when was my unicorn friend more sensible than Bon Bon?

“Well, then,” said Lyra, after some time, clapping her hooves together in a business-like way, “shall we get going?”

“Huh? Oh! Right! Practice.”

Lyra and I sat down at the piano, and I started to play. Over the sound of the notes, Lyra began to talk loudly.

“So, did you hear about the last time I went to the hospital? I told the doctor, ‘Doc, it hurts when I do this!’ And you know what he said? ‘Then don’t do that!’”

I had to fight back a snicker. That was one of those ‘as old as your grandparents’ jokes you’d have to have unbelievable nerve to utter in this day and age. I wasn’t sure what Lyra was trying to accomplish, but she wasn’t done yet.

“If a dog has no nose, how does it smell?” 

Silence, and then,

“Terrible! ...Hey, keep practicing, Dave! Why’d you stop?”

(Because that was worthy of a facepalm, that’s why.)

A slight noise caught my attention as I went back to it. Was it my imagination, or was Bon Bon fighting hard not to laugh, either? Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the corners of her mouth twitching, but she crossed her forelegs even harder still.

“What do you call a boomerang that won’t come back?” Lyra asked, louder than before. “A stick!”

This time I kept practicing, despite how terrible the joke was. I heard another stifled snicker from Bon Bon, and now, I was beginning to understand Lyra’s game. The only question was, how many more bad jokes would it take for Bon Bon to finally crack?

“Why did the turkey cross the road? To prove it wasn’t chicken!”

“What do you call cheese that isn’t yours? Nacho cheese!”

“Why did the tomato blush? It saw the salad dressing!”

This was just getting unbearable now, but Bon Bon seemed to be in even more anguish. Her face had turned bright red, and her mouth was clamped as tightly shut as if she had swallowed a glass of lemon juice. She looked like she might explode if she didn’t vent the burst of hilarity she was keeping back. Lyra seemed to recognize this, as a sly grin came across her face as she made one last joke.

“Why don’t eggs tell each other jokes?”

(Oh, boy. Here it comes…)

“Because they crack each other up!”

It was a lost cause. Bon Bon bolted from the room and up the stairs. A few seconds later, we heard a door slam. I looked over at Lyra, who shrugged, though with a pleased grin on her face.

“She’ll be ok,” she said. “Trust me. Keep playing, buddy.”

So I did. By the end of the lesson, Lyra declared that I was ‘making loads of improvement’, which was pretty high praise by this point. I therefore took my leave in quite a good mood, while Lyra went upstairs to ‘check on Bonnie’. As I was heading off, however, I thought I could hear laughter from the second floor, and it sounded like it came from Bon Bon.


***


“Calling all ponies! Town meeting in 2 days time! News of the utmost importance! Town meeting in 2 days time!”

A pegasus with a loud, strident voice was circling the streets of Ponyville overheard, booming out this message as he went and sending flyers fluttering down for ponies to catch and read. He must have been Mayor Mare’s method of getting news out fast. Ponies all over looked up at him as he passed, grabbing up flyers with puzzled looks on their faces. I could hear them muttering amongst themselves as I walked home.

“Town meeting in 2 days?”

“What could it be about?”

“Not another monster attack, I hope.”

I picked up a flier to take a look, marvelling at how little time it took to make these and send these out. It read: ‘TOWN MEETING! When: Tuesday, January 19. Where: Town Hall.”

(Short, sweet, and to the point, I’d say. It ought to keep them guessing, anyway.)

By the time I returned home, Moonlight didn’t seem to be up and about (probably working on her story), so I decided to finish working on the sign. With paintbrush in hand, I set to work slowly and deliberately painting out the subtitle for the Brimstone Lounge, using another homemade stencil with smaller letters. I must have made a comical sight, sitting hunched over the easel, tongue between my teeth, making tiny strokes with my brush.

At long last, back aching, and hands dotted with paint, I stepped back to admire my work. Sitting before me was exactly how I’d envisioned the sign when I first made the prototype. In bold, red letters: ‘The Brimstone Lounge’, and in smaller, blue letters: ‘Diamond Quality Dragon Delectables’.

“Voila,” I muttered, gratefully, to myself. “That should add a nice personal touch for those dragons.”

Tenderly, as if the sign was made of glass, I set it carefully to the side for it to dry, then went to wash up and get ready for dinner.


***


I had just finished a nice broccoli and cheese soup of Bon Appetit’s, with a side of bread and butter, when there came a knock at the door. When I opened it up, there, to my surprise, stood Twilight, smiling genially up at me. She was wearing her saddlebags about her hips, meaning she’d brought something with her.

“Oh! Hey, Twi.”

“Hello, Dave. Mind if I come in?”

“No, not at all! Please, come in! Make yourself at home!”

Twilight stepped inside, and I shut the door behind her. She sniffed the air with interest.

“Mmmm! Is that broccoli and cheese soup I smell?”

“Bon Appetit’s recipe,” I said, proudly. “There’s still some left if you want any.”

“Oh, no thanks, Dave,” said Twilight, sitting down on the couch. “I’m really glad you’ve been sticking to your diet plan, though.”

“As best I can,” I said, sitting beside her. “I mostly agreed to it so Lyra wouldn’t suffer alone, but I could honestly stand to slim down a bit, and really, it’s not so bad.”

“That’s the spirit. Anyway, I came by to give you some advice.”

“Of what kind?”

“About your speech.”

The crisper, more matter-of-fact tone she said this with gave me a slight feeling of foreboding. I felt I could sense something tedious and schoolwork-ish in the making.

“Would you mind if I take a look at it?”

“Er, no,” I said. “Let me go grab it.”

I didn’t see why I shouldn’t show her. She had been in the thick of the action, after all, and knew what happened. I got the envelope containing my speech and handed it to her. She slipped it out with her magic and scrutinized it closely. I could see her purple eyes roving from line to line, her lips pursing as she read. I even saw her smile or heard her giggle at some points. At last, she put it back inside, giving an approving nod.

“Very nice,” she said. “Have you been rehearsing?”

“Of course I have been,” I said, glad that she liked it. “I practically know it by heart, the number of times I’ve read and reread it.”

“Well, that’s good,” said Twilight. “However, I think it would be a more prudent action to put that speech onto…”

She prolonged the final syllable as she magically opened one of her saddlebags and produced a stack of…

“Note cards!” she finished, eagerly.

I knew that feeling hadn’t been mistaken. Not to mention, I felt a twinge in my writing hand.

“You think so?” I asked, trying to sound polite.

“Absolutely!” said Twilight. “It’s nice to feel like you know it by heart, but it never hurts to be prepared. That’s why I think you should write up some note cards relating to your speech. You don’t have to reproduce it verbatim,” she added, seeming to sense what I was thinking, 
“but jot down the essential points, things that will help remind you of what to say.”

When she put it like that, it didn’t sound nearly as bad. In fact, I wondered why I hadn’t thought of that before. It’d be much less of a hassle to handle note cards than a speech written on sheets of paper.

“Ok, Twi,” I said. “Thanks.”

“Anytime,” she said, patting my hand. “I’ll leave it to you. I think I’ve taught you enough that you can handle this one.”

“Ohh, you have that much confidence in me, teacher?” I asked, wryly.

“Let’s just say this is a ‘test’, my intrepid student,” said Twilight, in a bantering tone. “Every student ought to expect a test every now and then.”

“Like you,” I said, smirking.

“Yes, like me,” said Twilight, smirking back.

Soon after that, Twilight took her leave, bidding me good night. When she had left, I set my speech to one side, note cards on the other, and began thinking about how I should properly paraphrase. I had to say, it was a lucky happenstance to have a teacher who was also still a student. It was like having both perspectives at play at once, which was quite beneficial.

Sunday, January 17
> The Speech
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

As I had thought I might be, I was awakened early in the morning by Bon Bon knocking at the door. I got dressed and joined her and Lyra without a vocal word of complaint about how early it was, though my brain was prepared to grumble up a storm. Lyra, of course, was all smiles. Bon Bon was a little more subdued, but not in a bad way.

As we walked, my candy maker friend didn’t say anything, but let Lyra talk, loud enough for me to hear. However, from time to time, she would turn around to look at me. Her little smile whenever she did this told me things were all right again. Lyra’s bad jokes seemed to have brought her back into a better mood and removed her former sulleness. What else could I do but return her smile with one of my own?

Some time later, she suddenly said,

“Oh, Dave! I just remembered something!”

“Yes?”

“Hearts and Hooves Day is coming up fast. Would you mind helping out in the week leading up to it? There’s going to be a lot of ponies buying candy for their sweethearts.”

“Of course I wouldn’t mind, Bon Bon! You can count on me.”

“I know I can,” said Bon Bon, kindly.

“And hey,” piped up Lyra, “you’ve been doing really well at piano practice. Maybe you could play something romantic or cute for customers on Hearts and Hooves Day, as an accompaniment.”

Play a song for customers? Now there was an idea...

“Lyra, let’s not overstrain him,” said Bon Bon.

“No, no, I like her idea,” I said, honestly. “If I’m good enough by then, I’d be glad to do something like that.”

Bon Bon stared at me for a moment, then smiled.

“We’ll see, then,” she said.

From there, the walk progressed in relative silence. Lyra seemed to have run out of stuff to talk about, and was content just to walk beside Bon Bon, so close they were practically flank to flank. It warmed my heart to see what close friends they really were.


***


I whiled away the rest of the day by going through my note cards or practicing the piano some more. Now that I could more properly read the notes in sheet music, playing them became a lot easier. It felt exhilarating! I could almost picture the looks on my parents’ faces when I came home skilled at an instrument they’d never seen me practice.

Now, the question was, what could I play for Hearts and Hooves Day? Soft-heart that I was, I knew a fair amount of romantic or sentimental songs, mostly from movies. I ran through some of them in my head, trying to decide which would sound best on Hearts and Hooves Day, and whether or not they would even be recognizable. Pony society had thus far proven to possess their own versions of what was in human society, but I also had a feeling it could only go so far. I had to tread carefully. Then again, the sheet music for the songs themselves was a whole other question. Would it be possible to do it by ear, I wondered?

In the end, I decided I should leaf through sheet music at Ponyville’s music store, see if anything clicked. That seemed the sensible thing to do, at any rate, so I decided to stop by there sometime in the near future.

Monday, January 18


***


The front of the town hall was packed with ponies by the time I arrived the next evening, dressed in my Canterlot best with my notes in my pocket. A stage had been erected, with a lectern in the very center. The myriad of pastel coat colors was further complicated by the almost eye-watering amount of differently-colored winter apparel: jackets, coats, sweaters, scarves, earmuffs, and hats. It was like looking at a stationary kaleidoscope, one that was fogged by puffs of winter steam.

Mayor Mare was standing at the lectern, and when she saw me, cleared her throat, and spoke into the microphone set in front of her.

“Good evening, everypony,” said Mayor Mare. “I’ve called this meeting because of a special announcement one of our number wishes to make. It is an announcement, moreover, which comes from the princesses themselves.”

There was a good deal of excited muttering at this, and I felt a pang of nerves shoot through me.

“And so, without further ado, I present the stallion of the hour: human Dave!”

She stepped back, smiling, and I stepped forward. The crowd was applauding heartily for me, and I felt my heart swell. As I took my place, I looked about for recognizable faces. There were Pinkie, Twilight, and the others grouped together near the front, Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle sitting on their sisters’ backs, the Hooves family next to them, with Scootaloo on Sparkler’s back and Dinky on Derpy’s, Moonlight, Lyra, Bon Bon, Berry Punch, Vinyl Scratch, Zecora, Cheerilee, the Apple family, the Cakes, Screwball, Diamond Tiara with her father and some well-dressed mare who might be her mother, Silver Spoon, the other members of both bowling teams, and townsponies I mainly knew by sight. Just visible beside the Hooves family was Dolly Tribune, her notepad at the ready, and Papa Razzo, with his camera hanging from his neck. I could see several more camera ponies in the crowd, already clicking their cameras away, their flashes getting me right in the eyes.

Several ponies waved at me from the crowd. Pinkie’s forelegs waved so hard, she looked like she was trying to fly. I held up a hand to acknowledge their greetings, grinning weakly, then tugged at my collar distractedly. For such a cold night, it felt suddenly hot. I cleared my throat, and the silence became absolute.

The time had come at last.

“Hello, everypony,” I said, tentatively, into the microphone. “I’m glad you all could make it, especially on such a cold night. I promise not to keep you too long, otherwise we might have to start a bonfire.”

Many ponies laughed, and I even heard Pinkie cry ‘Good one, Davie!’ Their good humor put me in more confident spirits. A warm feeling spread into my heart. Taking my notes out of my pocket, I took a deep breath and continued, gripping one side of the lectern.

“My friends, I stand before you as Councilstallion David, human representative of the Equestrian Foreign Relations Council-”

There was some excited chatter at this, from those who’d had no idea.

“-but also as your friend, Dave, living right here in Ponyville,” I went on, receiving quite a number of warm smiles from the crowd. “I have news of astronomical proportions to deliver to you. In the frozen north, near the borders of Yakyakistan, there was a crystal city. Once a mighty empire of breathtaking beauty, reduced to the despotic stronghold of a tyrant, and then whisked away for many years, the spell upon it has been broken at last! It is my duty, honor, and privilege to tell you that the Crystal Empire has returned!”

I paused, allowing this to sink in. Everypony looked at one another, murmuring in puzzlement. I hadn’t expected them to have heard anything about it yet, if Twi and the others were keeping it hush-hush.

“I can understand that most of you might be perplexed by this,” I went on. “The princesses themselves confessed to having limited knowledge of it. The reason why you won’t have heard of it-”

I paused again for dramatic effect.

“-is because it’s been missing from the face of the country for a millennium.”
 
There was a long, deep silence. All eyes were glued to me, nearly all of them wide in shock and wonder. Dolly was scribbling away at her notepad, alternating between looking at it and me, her mouth agape. Razzo’s camera was clicking away.

“That’s right,” I said, nodding grimly. “A thousand years off of the face of Equestria, all thanks to the evil designs of its previous ruler: King Sombra. His tyranny was finally brought to an end by Princesses Celestia and Luna-”

Some scattered applause followed this, and Rainbow Dash shouted ‘You go, Princesses!’

“-But as he was going down, he decided to take his kingdom with him, and both vanished without a trace.” 

I paused to let this sink in before going on.

“Now, however, his curse has been lifted, and the Empire has returned, perfectly preserved, and its Crystal Pony subjects unharmed. Of course,” I added, darkly, “since the Empire came back, so did its old king.”

Several ponies gasped, and many looked apprehensive, except, naturally, Pinkie and friends.

“But there’s no reason to panic,” I said, quickly, holding up a placating hand. “Sombra isn’t a threat anymore. He was prevented from regaining control of the Empire thanks to several brave ponies.”

I cast a look down at Pinkie and the others, then moved on, the memory of what they’d told me upon their return fresh in my mind.

“Thanks to their efforts, Princess Cadence and Prince Shining Armor have secured it and prevented Sombra from entering its boundaries, at great risk, and are even now looking after it. Under their protective guidance, the Crystal Empire and its ponies are now safe, secure, and happy once more. I am also assured by trustworthy sources that the threat of King Sombra regaining his powers has been neutralized, and will never come to pass. The Crystal Ponies’ freedom from his tyranny resulted in that light show in the sky a few days ago. That was a demonstration of the Empire’s true power. In the words of Princess Celestia, it was to spread the hope, love, and happiness within it all across Equestria.”

I took a brief pause, another deep breath, then plunged on into my conclusion.

“The Empire itself will soon be open for visitors once again. I know you’ll be pleased with what it has to offer, and I know the citizens will all be happy to meet and know you. So, when you meet them, should you visit, they’ll more than likely say ‘welcome’. Well, I think it only appropriate to respond...’welcome back’.”

I stepped away, smiling around at them all, waiting for their reaction. There was silence at first. Then, slowly, gradually, building up volume and intensity like a jumbo jet revving up, every single pony broke into applause, their stomping hooves slightly muffled in the snow, but still audible. Loudest of all were the cheers coming from the seven heroes who had done their part to save the Empire in the first place. Indeed, Pinkie was stomping so hard that she might soon end up making a hole in the dirt. I looked over at the mayor. She was wearing a proud smile on her bespectacled face.

“Thank you very much for your time, everypony,” I said, leaning back toward the microphone. “I’m honored to have been given the chance to report this good news to such kind and understanding ponies.”

“Flatterer!” called Lyra, to some titters of laughter.

Mayor Mare approached the lectern now, and I stepped aside.

“Thank you, Dave,” she said. “That was quite a speech, I must say. Well, my fellow Ponyvillians, I can only say that I hope, as Dave said, we can extend the utmost courtesy and hospitality to our new, that is to say, old, neighbors, the Crystal Ponies. Thank you for your attention and attendance, everypony. This meeting is adjourned.”

She rapped her hoof on the lectern, like a judge with his gavel. The crowd began to disperse, talking excitedly about the news I had just delivered. I was just stepping down into the street when a bulky figure approached me, followed by a much skinnier one. It was Dolly and Razzo.

“Good evening, Dolly,” I said, genially.

“Evening, Dave,” said Dolly. “That was a powerful bit of news you laid down: an entire empire, returned after 1,000 years! That’s front page news, my friend!”

Razzo nodded his agreement.

“Hope you don’t mind if I ask a few questions, for the Express,” Dolly said.

“By all means,” I said, graciously. “As we speak, most likely, my fellow delegates are delivering similar speeches to their hometowns.”

“Lovely!” said Dolly, flashing that gold-toothed smile of hers. “Would you mind if I asked about the council itself and its role during this event? You know, to give our readers a look into the goings-on of the royal court.”

This was exactly what Ironmane had told me about earlier.

“Sure,” I said. “I mean, I’m not sure how much I can say on it, but I can at least tell you about the other members and where they come from, and what was going on when news first reached us.”

“Lovely!” said Dolly again. “We’ll make this quick, then. Don’t want you freezing your rump off out here.”

I cracked a grin at this, then waited for Dolly to fire away, while the rest of Ponyville moved on back to their warm homes. I couldn’t help envying them at that moment.


***


“Well, that should be enough for a nice big article,” said Dolly, putting her notepad away at last. “Thanks a bunch, hun.”

“Glad to be of assistance,” I said. “I guess I’ll see you later, then, Dolly, Razzo.”

“‘Till next time!”

She flashed that gold-toothed smile once more, Razzo doffed his cap, and the two of them started wending their way back into Ponyville, in the direction of the Express’s office. It was a relief to finally be done. I was cold and tired, and was longing to get home to bed.

“Davie!”

Pinkie’s shrill cry nearly made me jump out of my skin. I whipped around to see her bouncing up to me in her snow cap and parka.

“Pinkie! What are you doing out here?”

“I was waiting for you to finish! I have an idea on what we can do for our special day!”

She looked like she’d been bursting to say this all day, and only now had had the chance to do so.

“Oh, really?” I asked, interested. “What is it?”

“You’ll have to wait and see,” said Pinkie, grinning. “I don’t wanna spoil the surprise.”

“I guess there’s sense in that,” I conceded. “Well, with this speech business out of the way, I’m free until Ironmane gives me a new assignment, so whatever day you want, just say the word, and I’ll be ready.”

Pinkie’s pupils widened in excitement, her grin becoming a toothy smile.

“I’ll keep that a surprise, too, then,” she said, craftily. “It could be tomorrow, it could be the day after, and it could be any time, but I’ll be there when you least expect me. That’s the Pinkie Pie way!”

“Of course it is,” I said, wearily, but unable to hold back a grin. “Well, good night, you crazy party pony.”

“Good night, you goofy, huggable human!”

She reared up and gave me a quick squeeze-hug (which I was glad for, as she was nice and warm), then bounced off down a lamplit street towards Sugarcube Corner. I watched her until she was out of sight, then turned and started making my own way home, already planning a hot cup of tea before settling down for the night. That would be the perfect end to a day like this.

I stopped, my heart giving an unpleasant bound. I could have sworn I had seen something out of the corner of my eye, something flying away from a rooftop, off into the night.

“Probably just an owl,” I muttered to myself, but all the same, I quickened my pace as I headed for home.

Tuesday, January 19
> *Alternate POV* A Hooves' Day Out
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Scootaloo and Dinky were in their bedroom, lying on their bellies on the floor with scattered sheets of paper and crayons before them. The former was sketching a crude representation of what looked like a sizeable slingshot, if the ponies and stick figure drawn near it were to scale. Scrawled on the top were the words ‘cuTiE MARk cRusADERs skEET sHooTERs’. The latter was poring over notes, a blank sheet before her, her brow furrowed.

“Just think, Dinks,” said Scootaloo, “once we get everything set up, we’ll have skeet shooting cutie marks in no time! It’s gonna be awesome! Heck, we might even make it into the Equestria Games when they roll around, if they have a Junior Division this time. I dunno if Mom ever mentioned.”

Dinky sighed, making Scootaloo look up from her work.

“What’s the matter?” she asked.

“I’m having a lot of trouble with this essay,” said Dinky. “Miss Cheerilee wants five paragraphs on Equestrian rock farming, how it developed. I should have taken better notes,” she added, glumly. “I didn’t think we were going to seriously be tested about rock farming.”

Scootaloo well remembered Dinky telling her about Cheerilee’s lesson devoted to, of all things, rock farming. She thought the last time she would ever hear about that was from Pinkie Pie, when she told them how she’d gotten their cutie mark, and then claimed it was how Equestria was made. That had been a trying day on all accounts. However, remembering the crazy but lovable mare suddenly gave Scootaloo an idea.

“You could always ask Pinkie Pie,” she said. “She grew up on a rock farm, after all. It’s where she got her cutie mark.”

Dinky’s eyes widened, and an eager smile came across her face.

“Good idea!” she said, springing to her hooves. “I’ll go ask her!”

Gathering up her notes as best she could, she sped off from the bedroom, while Scootaloo remained behind, still working on her drawing.

“Knowing Pinkie,” she said to herself, “she’ll give her more than five paragraphs’ worth.”


***


“Sure, Dinky! I can tell you all about rock farming!”

Dinky had dashed all the way to Sugarcube Corner, barely remembering to put on her snow gear, and clutching her notes in her teeth. She found Pinkie behind the counter, a bright smile on her face, as always, and even more delighted to hear that the little filly was interested in hearing about her family’s trade.

“Dad always said it was a crying shame nopony else seems interested in it. Where would Equestria be without it? I’m glad Cheerilee appreciates it enough to make it part of her lesson.”

“Thank you so much, Pinkie Pie!” said Dinky, relieved. “Scoot told me you were the perfect pony to ask.”

“Oh, shucks,” said Pinkie, waving her hoof modestly, before suddenly becoming more business-like. “But before I can let you in on the secrets of rock farming...I need something in return.”

Dinky’s smile faded a little. Pinkie wasn’t normally a ‘tit-for-tat’ kind of pony.

“What kind of something?” she asked.

“I know your dad’s really good at fixing things,” said Pinkie.

“Yeah, he is,” said Dinky, knowing full well how much time her father devoted to tinkering in his lab, but not sure where Pinkie was going with this.

“Well, I need him to fix up my cannon!”

She wheeled out, from behind the counter, her prized party cannon, despite there being no indication of it being there in the first place. Dinky’s eyes roved over its gleaming, polished muzzle and freshly-painted wheels.

“It looks fine to me,” she said.

“Of course it does, silly,” said Pinkie. “The problem’s on the inside, not the outside, like a caramel apple with a worm still inside it!”

“Eww,” said Dinky. “So, what’s wrong with it, then?”

“It’s not firing like it’s supposed to. Watch!”

She pressed down on the fuse. Dinky instinctively covered her ears, but instead of the usual blast of confetti and streamers, there was a weak, spluttering cough, and a few stray pieces of colorful paper fluttered out. Pinkie glared hard at her weapon of mass euphoria.

“Something’s gotta be clogging it up,” she said. “I’ve tried cleaning it myself, but whatever it is, it’s way too far back, and I’m having a hard time getting in far enough to get at it.”

As though to demonstrate, she began climbing inside the cannon itself, to Dinky’s bemusement. Unfortunately, though Pinkie had, in the past, proven able to fire herself from her cannon, she must have put on a little weight over the holidays, as she found herself eventually brought to a halt by her doughy belly. After a few seconds of trying to push her way inside, she braced her back legs against the cannon and tugged hard backwards. There was a rubbery *pop*, and Pinkie re-emerged, a stray streamer in her mane.

“See what I mean?” she said, brushing it out. “I need your dad to fix it! I dunno what I’ll do if my cannon stays out of whack like this! When he’s done, I’ll give you the dirt on rock farming! That sounds fair, right?” she added, beaming.

“Umm...I guess it is,” said Dinky, slowly.

“So you’ll ask him?”

“Yeah, I can ask him. I’m sure he won’t mind.”

“Yay!” squealed Pinkie, grabbing the little filly into a hug. “Thanks, Dinky! When’s your paper due, by the way?”

“Friday,” said Dinky, who couldn’t help smiling at being on the receiving end of a Pinkie hug.

“That’s plenty of time!” said Pinkie. “Today’s Wednesday, and your dad’s really good at this kind of thing. Tell ya what: we’ll go to your house together, and I’ll bring my cannon with. The sooner he fixes the cannon, the sooner you’ll get all the rock farming info you could ever want! And that’s why you should go with southern-grown rocks, rather than northern, cuz southern Pie rocks are the hottest around!”

She concluded this with an affectionate noogie on Dinky’s head, making the little filly giggle, despite Pinkie’s odd change of subject. After hollering to the Cakes to say she’d be out for a little while, Pinkie and Dinky left Sugarcube Corner, the former wheeling her cannon before her.


***


“I can’t thank you enough for this, Doc!”

“Think nothing of it, Pinkie Pie. A faulty cannon is not something to leave idle. I’ll have it running smoothly again in no time, mark my words.”

“Okey-dokey-lokey! I’ll have the muffins ready when it’s done! See ya later!”

Pinkie bounced off, leaving widely-spaced gaps in the snow. Doc closed the door behind him and Dinky as they moved back inside, bringing the party cannon with them.

“I’ve always wanted to have a closer look at this beauty,” said Doc, with interest. “I’ve seen my fair share of party-related armaments, but I’ve never seen a model like this! A self-made party cannon! Similar to the Birthday Boomer Model 5, but it’s just possible to see where the differences are in the caliber. Great whickering stallions! I don’t know how that Pinkie Pie does it.”

“So, can you fix it, Daddy?” asked Dinky.

“Certainly, my dear,” said Doc, “but I hear Miss Pie has made you strike a bargain with her.”

“Uh-huh. If she got her cannon fixed, she’d tell me everything she knew about rock farming for my homework. Miss Cheerilee said every aspect of history, no matter how small, is important, and that nopony in her class should mess around with it. She said that was her opinion, anyway.”

Doc didn’t say anything at first. He just rubbed his chin, looking thoughtful. Then, slowly, a smile came across his muzzle.

“I know what to do,” he said, finally. “Dinky, run upstairs, get Scootaloo, and bring her to the garage. We’re going on a little trip.”

Dinky blinked, puzzled. Possibly, she hadn’t heard her father right.

“A trip, Daddy? But what about the cannon?”

“Don’t fret, darling, it’ll be taken care of,” said Doc. “We’ll be back before you know it. Off you go, then.”

Dinky hesitated for a second, then, reasoning that he must know best, scampered upstairs to fetch Scootaloo. Doc watched her go, the spark of adventure glinting in his eye.

“After all,” he muttered to himself, “there’s nothing wrong with a second opinion.”


***


“You’re seriously taking us along in your time machine thingy, Dad?!”

The three Hooves’ were standing in their garage, cluttered with some of Doc’s finished projects, and one very special something. Scootaloo was bouncing on her hooves in excitement as they stood before the sleek, shiny blue box that was her adoptive father’s technological pride and joy. Dinky was looking unrestrainedly gleeful.

“Ah-ah-ah,” said Doc, holding up a hoof. “It’s not merely a time machine, Scootaloo. A time machine only goes to different timelines. The TARDIS isn’t limited to chronological excursions alone.”

“Oh, er, right,” said Scootaloo, scratching her head awkwardly. “But you’re actually bringing us with this time?” she asked, returning to her eager attitude.

“Yes,” said Doc, beaming, “but we can’t dilly-dally. I’d rather not have your mother or Sparkler find out I took you two along. They might think taking you two back in time is ‘too dangerous’. What rubbish!” he added, with a snort. “All we’re doing is taking an educational trip. Really, they ought to be thanking me for having my children’s best interests at heart.”

“Educational?” asked Scootaloo, skeptically.

“For my homework, silly,” said Dinky. “Daddy’s gonna show me how rock farming started!”

“Precisely,” said Doc. “I have no doubt that Pinkie Pie has a wealth of authentic knowledge about her family’s rock farming trade, but there may be certain nuggets of information and history even she is not privy to. Therefore, I feel it only right that we gather as much from as many sources as we can. It’s not a question of trust, but of thoroughness. You see?”

Scootaloo nodded, though it was doubtful whether she really understood or not.

“Well, time’s a-wasting,” said Doc, opening the door to the TARDIS. “Hop in, girls! Hop in!”

“Won’t it be cramped in there?” asked Scootaloo. “I mean, it doesn’t look that big for three ponies.”

“Just wait and see,” said Dinky, with an excited giggle. “This thing’s full of surprises!”

Scootaloo gave the TARDIS a dubious look, shrugged, then followed her father and sister inside. As she did, her mouth fell open as she witnessed the expansive exterior, much larger than she would have guessed from the outside.

“No...way!”

“Surprised?” asked Doc, looking down at her. “You’re not the first. I’ve only been able to show Dinky the inside because of your mother and Sparkler, and it was all I could do to pick her jaw up off the ground.”

He chuckled at his own joke, then led the two fillies, Scootaloo still looking dumbfounded, into the main control room.

“Now, I’d like you two to give me a hoof with the controls. It’s all very delicate, timey-wimey circuitry, but I trust you.”

Scootaloo and Dinky reared up to reach the controls better, looking excited at the prospect. As he started inputting the coordinates for their destination, Doc’s ear perked, and his brow furrowed, as though someone were saying something disagreeable to him.

“I know they’re only children, but they’re my children, and I trust them. ...Yes, even to keep quiet about all this. They have for this long, and that should be good enough…”

Scootaloo looked puzzled at this odd behavior, but her father didn’t seem about to explain.

“He does that sometimes,” Dinky said, casually.

“That should do it, then,” he added, finishing inputting the necessary data. “Just press or pull or turn what I ask you to, girls, when we’re underway. Well, here we go! Allons-y!”

Doc gave the lever a hearty push, and with its characteristic sound, the TARDIS faded away from the garage, taking its three passengers with it.


***


“This is so cool!” Scootaloo gushed, as the TARDIS began its journey. “We’re actually going back in time, Dinky! Can you believe it? How awesome is that?!”

“Really awesome!” said Dinky, beaming, and earning a big smile from their father.

“Just give that lever a tug, Dinky,” he said, and Dinky complied.

“Wouldn’t it be even better if we could go ahead and see what kind of cutie marks we get?” asked Scootaloo, eagerly. “Then we’d know how to get them!”

“That’d be neat!” said Dinky.

“I’m afraid I can’t condone that, Scootaloo,” said Doc, firmly. “A cutie mark is a quest of self-discovery, and should be attained through its natural course (give that button a push, would you? Thank you.) You two will get there in the end, don’t worry.”

Scootaloo nodded, though she looked a bit sulky. Dinky merely looked faintly disappointed.

“Aha!” said Doc, after a time. “We’ve arrived at the correct date! Now I’ll set the TARDIS to autopilot...there. Come to the main door, and you both can have a nice view of what the first rock farming landscape looked like.”

Scootaloo and Dinky followed their father to the TARDIS’ entrance. Doc opened it up, and both fillies flinched as a gust of wind whipped their manes and tails.

“Careful, now,” Doc warned. “Don’t get too close, but have a look.”

Squinting slightly from the wind, Dinky and Scootaloo edged forward and peeked out. Below them, a barren, rocky landscape spread out before them, a sea of dull color. It wasn’t exactly the most noteworthy spot, unless one had a great fascination in dirt and rocks. Then again, why else would they have decided to start a rock farm if not for that reason?

“I don’t see anything,” said Scootaloo, her voice raised over the roar of the wind. “It’s just a bunch of rocks.”

“Correct,” said Doc. “This is where the first rock farm originated. You wouldn’t know by looking at it, but the soil is extremely rich in minerals. It’s not just a perfect spot for farming rocks, but for mining for ore.”

Dinky and Scootaloo’s eyes lit up at this, though Dinky’s strayed to one spot in particular.

“Daddy, what’s that down there?”

“Hmm?”

He followed Dinky’s pointing hoof, and spied, far below, what looked like a cluster of cement-gray objects, just visible from their vantage.

“Those rocks are all the same size, and they’re all bunched together,” said Dinky. “How come?”

Doc rubbed his chin in thought, before an idea struck him.

“Stay here, kids,” he said. “I’ll bring us in for a closer look.”

He disappeared into the control room again, and before the two fillies knew what was happening, the TARDIS began to descend towards the cluster. They backed quickly away from the door, lest they should tumble out, and within a few minutes, Doc reappeared beside them, gazing down at Dinky’s discovery. Now that they’d gotten closer, they could see that the ‘stones’ were very large and ovular in shape, and seemed to be sitting in an enormous bed of black rock, raised around the edges like a bowl. Doc’s eyes widened.

“Great whickering stallions!” he breathed. “Dinky, Scootaloo, do you know what this is?”

Scootaloo leaned forward and squinted hard.

“It kinda looks like a nest,” she said.

“That’s right,” said Doc. “And not just any nest. That, my dears, is the nest of a dragon, and those are dragon’s eggs. Very big ones, at that.”

Scootaloo and Dinky looked up at their father, aghast.

“A d-dragon?!” spluttered Scootaloo.

“Yes, and not the small, friendly type that Spike is, I’m afraid,” said Doc.

“But if that’s the nest,” said Dinky, “then where’s the mom?”

“A question that gives me great concern,” murmured Doc. “For all we know, the mother could be lurking about as we speak, ready to strike at anything that poses a threat to her unhatched young.”

Before Dinky or Scootaloo could do more than gulp nervously at this, there was an unearthly sound: a loud, screeching roar that seemed to make the walls of the formidable TARDIS shudder. Doc’s face went pale, and he pulled the fillies further back with him, shielding them with his forelegs. Something enormous soared past, something jet-black with great, leathery wings and a long, spiny tail. It was making straight for the nest of dragon eggs.

“Is that the mom?” asked Dinky, trembling.

Doc was about to answer, but the dragon didn’t land in the nest. Instead, it bared its hind claws, reached out, and snatched one of the eggs in the nest. With another roar, it took flight with its prize, sweeping past the TARDIS as if it didn’t even consider it worth its notice.

“No, that was not the mother,” said Doc. “That was a draconis oviraptor, an egg thief. Rare to find in the present, as most dragons eat gemstones. Not a development I was expecting.”

Dinky and Scootaloo sat in silence, huddled together and shivering. On a normal day, Scootaloo would have boasted about approaching a live, full-grown dragon without fear. The truth was, however, that being so used to Spike, and never having seen a full-grown dragon before, except from far off during the last migration, made her boast nothing but hot air. Seeing the reality right before her eyes had let much of it out in one go.

Before anypony could say or do anything else, there was another terrible roar, and another enormous figure came into sight, even larger than the first. It was another dragon, but more of a dark-gray, like the eggs, with long, yellowish spikes running down its spine. Doc gulped.

“That would be the mother,” he said, quietly. “A draconis gigantis, one of the largest dragon species to ever exist, and particularly vicious.”

Sure enough, the dragon no sooner got a good look at her egg cluster, and no doubt realized one had been taken, then she let out an earth-shaking roar of rage, making all three ponies cover their ears. She turned her great, ugly head straight towards the TARDIS, her slit-pupiled eyes narrowing as they focused on it. She bared her fangs, flexing her great claws.

“Oh, dear,” muttered Doc. “Girls, I don’t want to alarm you, but if I were a gambling stallion, that dragon believes we’re responsible for the loss of her egg.”

Scootaloo and Dinky said nothing, but merely took shelter behind their father, terrified. The next second, the dragon opened her mouth wide and spewed forth a great jet of flame, straight for them. Doc lunged forward and wrenched the door shut, just in time, as the fire washed over the surface of the TARDIS. Inside, the three Hooveses could feel the intense heat from behind the door.

“I’m scared, Daddy!” squeaked Dinky.

“What do we do?” asked Scootaloo, who was clinging onto her little sister for dear life.

“The only thing we can do,” said Doc, resolutely. “Try to lose it. Hold tight, kids: we’re in for a wild ride.”

He hurried past them and into the control room, as they climbed onto a lounge couch, huddling together once more. There, he took back the controls and worked at them feverishly. The TARDIS swept around, away from the dragon, and sped off in the opposite direction. The dragon roared and swept after them, beating its giant wings. 

Doc kept his eyes glued to the view screen, searching feverishly for something that might divert the beast, but he kept half an eye on the rear view, determined not to let her surprise him. To his disconcertion, she seemed to be gaining on them by little and little. She shot another flame at the TARDIS, and he pitched sharply to the right to avoid it, causing the two fillies to roll about on the couch, yelping in alarm.

“Come on, come on…” Doc muttered, looking this way and that. “There has to be something…”

And then he saw it: a formation of jagged rocks rising out of the ground, almost like a great forest of stone, the tops curving inward to form a kind of barrier above.

“Perfect!” he said. “I just hope it’s big enough for the TARDIS, and not for ‘Mummy’. Allons-y!”

He gave a hard push to the throttle, and the TARDIS sped toward the formation, the dragon hot on its tail. Faster and faster the two sped, intent upon their respective targets. As the dragon realized what her prey was trying to do, she opened her jaws wide, flames kindling at the back of her throat. However, at that instant, Doc found what he was looking for: a gap in the formation, just large enough for the TARDIS, but not for the dragon.

“Here we go!”

Like a rocket, the little blue box shot through the gap, straight into the protective rock cage, just as the dragon fired, the flames washing against the jagged surface of the stone. With a roar of frustration, she lashed out at the rock wall, slashing at it with her claws, slamming it with her spiky tail, all to no effect; the stone was firm and resolute.

Inside, Doc brought the TARDIS into a smooth hover, switched to autopilot, then rushed out to check on the girls. Both had been tossed about by the fast chase, their manes and tails wild and windswept, but both seemed to be fine otherwise.

“Are you two alright?” asked Doc, pulling them in close, where they clung protectively to him.

“U-Uh-huh,” said Dinky, still trembling.

“I-I think so,” stammered Scootaloo. “One thing’s for sure: I’m not getting a cutie mark in dragon hunting.”

Doc gave a weak chuckle at this, tousling Scootaloo’s mane.

“Don’t worry, girls,” he said. “We simply have to wait for that dragon to grow tired of trying to get at us, and then we can continue our observations from a different vantage.”

There was nothing else for it but to wait it out. They could hear the dragon’s rampage, magnified by the interior of the protective rock cage, going on for what seemed like hours. In that time, the three ponies stayed right where they were, huddled together, the two fillies clinging onto each other as their father held them in his forelegs.

At long last, the noise ceased. Slowly, Doc got up and walked to the door, opening it and peering out. Through the gaps in the rock, he could see nothing that indicated that the dragon was still there.

“Is she gone?” asked Scootaloo.

“It appears so,” said Doc, “but I can’t be sure. She may be lying in wait for us to come out again.”

“But what do we do?” asked Dinky. “If she sees us, she’ll just chase us again.”

“If only that stupid ‘oval raptor’ dragon didn’t steal that egg,” mumbled Scootaloo in frustration. “It messed up everything…”

Now, it just so happened that Doc was looking down at the bottom of the ‘cage’ as Scootaloo said this, and his eyes fell upon something: a great, egg-shaped stone, colored almost identically to the dragon’s eggs. A smile slowly worked its way across his muzzle.

“Scootaloo,” he said, slowly, “you’ve just given me an idea…”


***


“We’re so very sorry for all of the trouble, my good dragon, but there was a slight mix-up. We’re putting it back, safe and sound, see. No need for any more violence.”

It was a marvel that they had been able to gather up the enormous boulder in the first place, but to bring it with them out of the rock formation and back into the open was another thing entirely. As Doc had surmised, the dragon had been waiting for them to appear, and had begun to attack again, but at the sight of the TARDIS bearing what looked like her lost egg, she held off, for fear of damaging it. Skeptical, she followed the little blue box bearing its load back to her nest, and watched as it deposited it within it, next to her remaining eggs. This act appeared to mollify her, and she allowed the TARDIS to leave untroubled, as she settled down over her clutch of eggs, looking much more peaceable than she ever had.

“Wow,” breathed Scootaloo. “I can’t believe that worked.”

“Me neither,” said Dinky. “Good thinking, Daddy!”

“Oh, I can’t take all the credit,” said Doc. “Scootaloo did gave me the idea.”

“But how long until it realizes that’s just a boulder?” asked Scootaloo.

“Hopefully long enough for us to make our escape,” said Doc. “With better luck, that egg stolen by that other dragon might have been a dud. Of course, I can’t be certain. I can only hope. In any case, I think we’ve had enough adventure for one day, don’t you?”

The two fillies fervently nodded.

“Then let’s do what we probably should have done from the start,” said Doc, slightly abashed, “and simply ask Pinkie’s father for what he can tell us about rock farming. Not as exciting, but much safer. Of course, that means you two will have to stay inside the TARDIS, so as not to compromise yourselves and create a paradox. Understand?”

“Yes, Dad,” said Scootaloo.

“Yes, Daddy,” said Dinky.

“Good! Then, let’s be off!”

And within a few minutes, with its usual roar, the TARDIS vanished from sight, off once more.


***


“I’m very much obliged, Mr. Pie. This is an absolute wealth of knowledge. I never would have believed it myself.”

Doc had just finished speaking with Igneous Rock Pie, and had filled almost an entire notebook on the long-winded but well-spoken mass of rock-farming history that the venerable Pie patriarch had obliged in relating. Behind him, young Marble and Limestone toiled away, moving rocks into the proper piles, chancing glances at Doc from time to time.

“Thou art surely a strange fellow,” said Igneous, “but I greatly appreciate your honest interest in the Pie family trade. There are not many nowadays who give it the serious merit it doth deserve.”

“Oh, unquestionably,” said Doc. “I especially find that enormous boulder there fascinating. What did you say it was called again?”

“Holder’s Boulder,” said Igneous, “without which, our humble farm wouldst not exist. I must ask, however, that you keep your distance from it, lest my eldest daughter, Limestone, bestow her aggression upon thee.”

He glanced over at the purplish mare with the white mane, who, at that precise moment, shot a hostile glance towards Doc, who flinched.

“Er, yes, that won’t be necessary,” he said, hastily. “I believe I have enough to go on. Good day, my good Pie. Happy farming.”

Igneous inclined his head politely, and Doc took his leave, disappearing from sight behind a cluster of boulders. This particular cluster was just where the TARDIS had been stationed, and he stepped inside, breathing a sigh of relief. Dinky and Scootaloo had gone off to the TARDIS’ playroom, and he felt no desire in disturbing them until they had gotten home.

“Well, then,” said Doc, as he went back to the controls, “I hope Pinkie Pie won’t mind my doing more than merely fixing up her party cannon.”


***


As Doc had said, he, Dinky, and Scootaloo arrived back in the Hooves family garage immediately after they had left, and to all appearances, they hadn’t been anywhere at all, so Derpy and Sparkler were none the wiser. With the plethora of notes Doc had gotten from Igneous Rock Pie, Dinky was able to start a rough draft on her essay, while Scootaloo made more plans for their skeet shooting enterprise. Dinky decided to wait until she heard from Pinkie to make her final draft, in case she had anything new or interesting to add to what she already had, which was very probable. 

In the meantime, Doc immediately got to work on Pinkie’s party cannon, managing to reach the blockage, consisting of a backup of old confetti and streamers. It was a particularly stubborn clump to remove entirely, but under his skillful ministrations, the clog was removed, and the cannon was in perfect working condition in next to no time. 

Pinkie was summoned to fetch it that very evening, and she promptly arrived with a basket full of Sugarcube Corner muffins. As it was a late hour when she arrived, the pudgy pink pony was invited to stay for dinner, which she readily accepted, and spent the whole evening alternating between eating and giving Dinky everything she knew about her family’s livelihood. She was in an especially good mood from having her party cannon fixed up, which was saying something, as Pinkie was normally always in a good mood.

At last, Pinkie decided to take her leave, her belly full of Derpy’s delicious cooking, and her throat tired from so much talking about rock farming.

“Thanks again, Pinkie Pie,” said Dinky, throwing her little hooves around Pinkie’s paunch as best she could.

“Anytime, Dinky,” said Pinkie, hugging her in return. “And thank you for getting your dad to help fix my cannon! Last time I asked him for cannon help, I wound up with Maud.”

“Oh, it was no trouble at all,” said Doc, giving her a strange look. “A simple procedure, nothing more than that. Hopefully, it’ll continue running smoothly.”

“I hope so too,” said Pinkie. “Welp, I hate to leave, but time flies. It’s funny that way. I’ve got big plans with Davie set up, and I’m picking the right day to surprise him with them. See ya!”

“Good night, Pinkie Pie,” said Derpy. “Are you sure you won’t take any muffins with you?”

“No thanks, Derpy, I’m good,” said Pinkie. “Any more, and I’ll have to do a double Pinkie-cise session to work off this tummy.”

With that, she gathered up her cannon and wheeled it ahead of her out the front door, Sparkler closing it behind her.

“Well, that was awfully nice of her, helping Dinky with her homework,” said Sparkler.

“Oh, yes,” said Derpy, before turning to Dinky. “I want to hear that you did a good job on this essay, Dinky, after Pinkie gave you so much to work with.”

“Don’t worry, Mama,” said Dinky. “I’ve learned more about rock farming than I ever thought I would today.”

And, unseen by her mother or eldest sister, she exchanged a wink with Scootaloo, and they in turn exchanged one with their father.

> A Day with Pinkie Pie
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I was honestly expecting Pinkie to pop up at my house the next day, declaring that it was time for our day together. She said it could be any day, at any time, but I had figured she would want it to be as soon as possible. Also, even though she said it would be any time, I felt sure that she’d want to drop by in the morning, to maximize the time we could spend together. I even expected her to pop up during the morning walk, during which, once again, Lyra and Bon Bon seemed more content with walking side by side than making much conversation, but I hardly noticed.

I was mistaken. The rest of the morning passed on, and there was no sign of my pudgy pink friend. If today had been the day, she would have surely shown up by now. So, I wiled away the day by practicing the piano some more. I couldn’t start slacking now, especially if there was a possibility that I might play a song for Hearts and Hooves Day. I also had to eventually stop by the music store and see what they had to offer. 

As evening drew near, there came a knock at the door, which turned out to be Moonlight, wondering if we could finish Stone of Light that night. I was more than happy to oblige. Thankfully, I hadn’t overstressed my throat despite giving a speech and interview last night, so the two of us settled down on the couch, with hot mugs of cocoa from my new brewer, and pressed on.


***


By the end of it, much like when we last left off, both of us could only stare at each other, open-mouthed. The last sips of our cocoa sat forgotten in their mugs.

“So Dowser was never...?” Moonlight asked, sounding both stunned and relieved.

“I guess not,” I said. “Thank goodness for that. That stinking Caballeron, though!” I added, angrily. “I can’t believe he’d try to...”

“And just because Daring snubbed him!” said Moonlight, outraged. “She could tell what kind of stallion he was from the start!”

“Exactly! She’s lucky to be rid of him! Her and Dowser.”

“Right.”

All in all, in spite of these angry feelings, it wasn’t a bad ending to the day, even though I still would have been glad for a sight of Pinkie.

Wednesday, January 20


***


Another morning, another walk with Lyra and Bon Bon, and still no sign of Pinkie. I know she said she would pick the day herself, but I still was convinced she’d want to have it as soon as possible, since she already knew what she wanted to do. Was she held up by something at work? The best-laid plans often went astray, especially when you were sure of being able to do them. I knew that feeling all too well. Still, it couldn’t be that much longer. I’d never known Pinkie to fail with an obligation.

“Are you ok, Dave?”

Bon Bon’s voice jerked me out of my thoughts. She was looking back at me as we walked, a look of mild concern on her face.

“Huh? Yeah, yeah, I’m fine,” I said. “I was just thinking random stuff, is all. Besides, I figured you two would rather it was quiet. I didn’t want to ruin that.”

Bon Bon said nothing, but gave me a small smile, then turned back around. I couldn’t help but notice that her and Lyra’s tails were swishing pretty close to each other. If they kept up, they might end up getting tangled together. They must have known it, walking so close, but neither seemed to be paying attention. They seemed as listless and preoccupied as I’d been. Weird.

Thursday, January 21


***


By the next day, during the morning walk, I was beginning to wonder if Pinkie had reconsidered her ideas since telling me. Maybe she was having second thoughts, and wanted to try something bigger or better, something that would need more time to put together. It wasn’t impossible.

When I got home, I went to the brewmaker to make myself some soothing tea. I had been up a little late last night, losing myself in piano practice, and I needed a little more sleep. Even if Pinkie did show up today, I had the feeling she wouldn’t care how she found me, as long as it wasn’t in the shower. I’d lived with her for a week or two, after all. And besides, on a day like this, I really felt like snuggling back under the covers and falling asleep.

So, taking my cup of tea with me, I went back to bed. Ohh, it felt mercifully warm and cozy, and the tea was working its wonders more and more as I sipped it. My eyelids felt heavier and heavier, and soon, setting the teacup on my bedside table, I drifted off.


***


It felt like no time at all had passed when I opened my eyes again. However, what I saw was not the ceiling, but two large, baby-blue eyes staring down at me.

“Hi, sleepy-pants!”

“GAH!!”

I leaped up, nearly falling out of bed as I sat up. Pinkie was sitting beside my bed, smiling at me, looking completely unperturbed about the reaction she had incited from me.

“It’s 9 o’clock, and the day’s still young!” she chirped.

“Pinkie! What the-?! How did you-?!”

“The window, silly!”

She pointed to my bedroom window, which was closed. I stared back at her, perplexed.

“Well, I wasn’t gonna leave it open!” she said, shrugging defensively. “It’s cold out there, and you looked so cozy!”

I sighed, pinching the bridge of my nose and closing my eyes.

“Pinkie, we talked about this,” I said, trying to be patient. “Remember that talk we had about using the door?”

“I know,” said Pinkie, looking slightly embarrassed, “and I’m really sorry. I was just so excited for us to have our day together, that I kinda forgot.”

Despite my irritation, I couldn’t stay mad at her when she was smiling so sweetly at me. I reached out and ruffled her mane.

“It’s alright, you big goofball,” I said. “Of course I want us to have our day together. I just need some time to get ready, ok? I won’t take too long.”

“Okey-dokey-lokey!” she said. “I’ll go wait in the living room. You do your thing.”

She had only just left the room, and I’d just gotten up to start getting ready, when I heard her give an excited squeal.

“Is that a Kureigh? Oooh, look at all the flavor thingies!”

Mr. Cake’s warning floated into my head at these words, and I called,

“Don’t touch it, Pinkie! Help yourself to anything in the fridge, if you’re hungry, but the Kureigh’s off limits!”

“Aww, phooey,” came Pinkie’s disappointed reply.

(Well, there’s a disaster narrowly averted, even at the potential cost of some of my fridge’s contents. You’re welcome, Ponyville…)


***


As soon as I was dressed and ready, Pinkie bounded out the door like a happy dog. It was adorable to see her so excited, and I was willing to follow through with anything she wanted us to do today, within reason, of course.

Once we were out of the house, she started bouncing, not towards Ponyville, but past the Hooves’ house, towards Sweet Apple Acres. Curious to what she could have planned for us there in that direction, I followed without comment. I simply watched her hopping along ahead of me, humming and giggling to herself. This was the happiest I’d seen her in quite some time. 

Our destination, however, was not Sweet Apple Acres. We ended up skirting the whole farm, without seeing a sign of any of the Apple family. They were probably inside, and wisely so. No, our destination seemed to be further on, and all I could do was let Pinkie lead us there.

As we went, I wondered if it was my imagination, or were we steadily going up? The ground seemed to be slowly, gradually growing steeper, like an incline. I was beginning to feel it in my legs, and my feet were finding difficulty in keeping straight. Pinkie didn’t seem to pay a care to any of it. On the contrary, the way she was bouncing ahead, one would think she still fancied herself on level ground.

“Pinkie,” I said, after a while, feeling a bit short of breath, “are we...almost there?”

“Almost!” said Pinkie. “Not too far now, Davie! I know you had a long walk early this morning, but just trust me! It’ll be worth it!”

Trust her...Yes, that’s what friends did, and I would trust Pinkie. I therefore kept silent and trudged on as doggedly as I could.

At last, we reached the top of the slope. Good thing, too, because I didn’t know how much further I could walk, regardless of devotion for my friend. There, sitting at the top, nested at the head of a small clump of trees, was a large two-person sled, hot pink with balloons painted on the side. Pinkie turned to face me, smiling widely.

“This is it!” she said. “At least, this is Part 1! Whaddya think?”

That was it, then. Pinkie wanted to go sledding with me, for a start, anyway. Well, fair enough. That seemed innocent and fun. The only problem, as I could see, would be going back up after going down, depending on how many times Pinkie would want to do so. However, this was what Pinkie had set her heart on us doing, and I was not about to object.

“Looks fun!” I said.

Pinkie’s smile grew even broader.

“Well, hop in, Davie!” she said. “No more walking! Just an easy-peasy ride down the slope!”

She hopped into the front seat, and eagerly patted the one behind it, indicating me to sit in it. Grinning slightly at her enthusiasm, I stooped down and settled inside. It was a bit cramped for someone my height, and I had to draw my knees in in order to properly sit down. As I did so, it only dawned on me how high we must be. I could just barely see Sweet Apple Acres, quite a distance away and below. I couldn’t suppress a gulp. 

“I don’t want to sound critical, Pinkie, but are you sure this is safe?”

“Of course, Davie!” said Pinkie, reassuringly. “I’ve done this every winter, and nothing bad’s ever happened to me!”

“Well, if you’re sure…”

“You ready?”

“Er-”

“Let’s GO!”

Pinkie pushed forward with her back hoof, and the sled slid forward. My heart gave a jolt. I wasn’t ready yet!

“Wait, Pinkie, hold on! I need a moment to prepare mysEEEEELLLLLLF!”

My objection was reduced to a terrified yell in an instant as the sled went plummeting straight down. Snow billowed past us like water plowed through by a speedboat. The wind roared in my ears and sent my hair flying. My glasses were plastered against my eyeballs as all I could see before me was the rushing snow, the sled, and Pinkie waving her forelegs over her head, squealing in glee.

“PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR, DAVIE!” she yelled joyously over the rush of wind. “WHOO-HOO!”

I did so, and quite suddenly, as if this was all it had taken, the ride became less terrifying, and much more fun. This was just like when I overcame my trepidations of riding Space Mountain at Disney! I gave a great crow of laughter as we sped down. 

“YEE-HAH!”

“I KNEW YOU’D LOVE IT!” Pinkie cried. “TALLY-HOOO!”

The sled swerved, swayed, and zig-zagged all the way along the hill, as though determined to cover as much ground on it as possible before reaching the bottom. At one point, it even felt like we turned right around and went back up the way we came, before turning around to go down again. It might have been just me, but it felt like the kind of thing Screwball would do. I also thought I heard the clicking of a camera, but maybe that was just my imagination. 

We finally did reach the bottom, and the sled, carried on by the momentum of the slope, continued on at a great speed, gliding along the snow as though it were a ship on water. Pinkie was still waving and squealing, and I had to admit, I was feeling a lot more lighthearted about the situation. Then, all of a sudden, as though they had popped out of the ground, trees began cropping up in our path. The laughter died in my throat at once.

“Pinkie! Trees!”

It didn’t seem like Pinkie had heard me. We just kept speeding on, getting closer and closer. The closest tree was barely feet away!

“Pinkie!”

At that precise moment, Pinkie put her hooves down, gripped the sides of the sled, and leaned to the right. With a great swerve, we missed the tree by inches. More trees loomed in our way, but Pinkie deftly guided the sled through them as well, making some rather complicated maneuvers, never once losing that tranquil little smile on her face as she looked back at me.

“Relax, Davie,” she said. “Like I said, I’ve done this every winter. Now hang on tight! We’re coming into Ponyville!”

We were indeed heading ever closer to Ponyville itself, and the sled still showed no signs of stopping.

“Have you done this every time, Pinkie?” I asked.

“Yep! It’s practically a winter tradition for everypony, watching me sled down the street! And now they get to watch you too!”

“Joyous day,” I said, rolling my eyes with a smile.

As it was later in the morning, there were a number of ponies out in the streets. They glanced up at the sound of our approach, and I could see some of them waving, some laughing, and some leaping out of the way. Some leaned out of windows to catch a good look at us, cheering us on. It felt like we were on the home stretch of a bobsled run at the Olympics. It was kind of embarrassing, but also kind of funny.

“Coming up on our stop!” Pinkie said, after a time.

Sugarcube Corner was coming up fast. At the rate we were going, it looked as if we’d crash into the wall! Pinkie, however, had obviously planned for this, as she steered the sled toward a big snowbank piled up by the door. It all became clear now.

*POOMF*

All was white, and very cold. I pulled my face out, brushed the snow off my glasses, and saw Pinkie extricating herself from the bank. She gave a shrill ‘Brrrr!’ as she shook the snow from her body, and I stood up from the sled, wiping my coat down with my hand.

“Whoo!” she said. “That was wild, huh, Davie?”

“Yeah,” I said. “I have to admit, that was actually pretty fun.”

Pinkie beamed.

“And it gave me plenty for my scrapbook!” she said, proudly.

“Scrapbook?” I asked, puzzled.

Pinkie pulled, from out of nowhere, as far as I could judge, a thick scrapbook and opened it up to a blank page. One by one, she began pasting photos into it. Looking at them, I saw, to my bewilderment, that they were photos taken while we were sledding! So I had heard a camera after all! Pinkie was an incomparable shutterbug of a pony!

But, what was stranger even than that was that some of the photos were taken at angles from behind or above me. How in the world had she managed to do that?!

“You like it?” Pinkie asked, innocently.

I struggled for words for a second or two, then, with an effort, I decided not to question her. I doubted I’d get a straight answer from this lovably crazy pony.

“It’s...really nice, Pinkie,” I said, and she smiled broadly. “So what’s next on the itinerary? Did you want to take the sled back and go again?”

“As fun as that’d be, that would take way too long,” said Pinkie. “No, I’ve got something even better in mind! Come on!”

She hopped off the sled, brushed the snow from it with her tail, then brought it with her through Sugarcube Corner’s door. There, she beckoned to me eagerly. Taking the hint, I followed her inside, where it was mercifully warm and smelled like freshly-baked gingerbread. I took a big, grateful whiff of the aroma, and so did Pinkie, smelling so vigorously that she lifted herself onto her hind legs, and might even have left contact with the floor completely if she didn’t stop.

“Are the Cakes home?” I asked.

“Nope,” said Pinkie. “They’re out right now, and Gummy’s asleep in my bedroom. It’s just you and me, Davie.”

She led me into the kitchen, where a pan full of gingerbread ponies sat, the smell coming off of them intensifying the closer we got. Pinkie ran her tongue across her lips, and I heard her stomach gurgle.

“Curse you, gingerbread ponies!” she said, shaking her hoof as though berating a supervillain. “Tempting me with your seductive sweetness, when you know Mr. and Mrs. Cake told me not to eat any of you! You win this round, but you won’t be so lucky next time!”

She was glaring so intently at them that I was actually starting to feel a little scared. Then, as though someone had flipped a switch, she abruptly returned to her old, chipper self.

“Okey-dokey-lokey! Are you ready, Davie?”

“Er, for what?” I asked.

“We’re gonna do what I wanted to ever since you came to Equestria,” said Pinkie, producing a chef’s toque out of nowhere and plopping it on her head. “We’re gonna bake together! I still owe you a batch of cupcakes, after all.”

A brief leap of eagerness jumped inside me at the idea, but it quickly died away as I was reminded of something.

“Er, Pinkie,” I said, “I don’t want to disappoint you, but I’m not sure if that’s a good idea.”

“Why not?” asked Pinkie, tilting her head quizzically.

“Well, because I’m on a diet until Winter Wrap-Up,” I said. “And I don’t really think-”

But Pinkie cut me off with a dismissive wave of her hoof and a raspberry.

“Relax, Mr. Fretful. I know you’re still on a diet. That’s why I dug around for a cookbook that had healthy sweet stuff in it.”

She lifted her toque off her head, held it over the counter, and gave it a shake. A thick cookbook tumbled out of it and onto the counter with a thud. I was about to question how she had hidden a book of that size in there, but she was already busy rifling through its pages, murmuring to herself while she searched. Finally, she stopped with a triumphant ‘Aha!’, and pointed to the page she was on. Looking over her shoulder, I could see that it was a recipe for apple cupcakes with cinnamon-marshmallow frosting.

“That looks amazing!” I said, feeling my mouth watering already.

“Yeah,” said Pinkie, dreamily.

“But is it really diet-safe?” I asked.

“Of course!” said Pinkie. “Why would it be in Weight Watcher’s Diet Delectables if it wasn’t diet-safe?”

The name threw me for a sudden loop, and I was about to question that, but Pinkie had closed the book to show me the cover, as if to demonstrate her point. It was not Weight Watchers, but Weight Watcher’s. There was a picture of a middle-aged mare, much thinner than an average pony, but fairly pleasant in appearance, with a lettuce-green coat, teal mane, and eyes the same color behind a pair of wire-rimmed spectacles. She was holding a plate laden with what looked like grilled vegetables.

“Were you gonna say something, Davie?” Pinkie asked, looking at me.

“...No, nothing,” I said, giving my head a shake. “So, er, what do we need?”

Pinkie flipped back to the recipe and ran her hoof down the list of ingredients. Then, she took in a deep breath, and I had a feeling I knew what was coming. Sure enough…

“Peeledapplesdriedapplesbrownsugarcinnamoncanolaoileggsvanillaextractpastryflourcakeflourbakingsodasaltbuttermilkwatereggwhitescreamoftartar!”

She stopped, beaming toothily up at me, while I felt like I’d just been bludgeoned by the force of her compound list of words.

(This girl could give the Micro Machine Man a run for his money.)

“Well, let’s get cracking, Davie, m’boy!” said Pinkie, eagerly.

“Er, yeah, let’s,” I said.


***


“Oh, man...I still can’t believe these are diet-friendly. These are delicious!”

“I knooow!”

Baking with Pinkie hadn’t exactly been easy. Having me around seemed to inspire her to be even sillier than usual, and she’d do things like poof flour in my face, or else boop my nose or cheek with batter on her hoof. It was very distracting.

However, just because it wasn’t easy, doesn’t mean it wasn’t fun. Her goofy, playful attitude was refreshing after so much work for the council. In fact, she even got me poofing and booping her eventually, while the cupcakes were in the oven, and the two of us just kept at it, laughing like a couple of school kids. 

Three hours after starting, the two of us could be found sitting together on the floor, besmirched in flour and batter, munching on our finished, delicious cupcakes. Bon Bon was sure to find out about this, but this time, I had confidence she’d understand. All the same, I let Pinkie have most of them, as I thought it best not to risk it. Besides, I felt like I could only handle a few of something this sweet.

“You wanna know something, Davie?” asked Pinkie, licking her frosting-splattered lips.

“What’s that?” I asked.

“I remembered what you said when I was kinda worried about being fat, and I’ve decided that I don’t want to get skinny. I’d have to miss eating so many tasty foods! Besides, I like my Pinkie pudge too much.”

She gave her round belly a fond pat, which made it wobble. I chuckled.

“I don’t blame you, Pinkie,” I said. “It shows you’re happy with who you are, and that’s something I definitely respect. Besides, I still think it looks cute on you.”

Pinkie smiled sweetly.

“Aww, thanks, Davie. But how come you wanna lose your tummy? You don’t look that bad.”

“Well, not as bad,” I said, putting a hand to my gut. “I mainly decided on it because I didn’t want Lyra to have to diet alone, but I figured a few pounds off the waistline couldn’t hurt. Besides, even if it’s a pain to get out of bed so early, it feels nice to be doing something for once. I was never really that active back home. Something about Equestria’s really rubbed off on me. Figure of speech,” I added, remembering the last time I’d said that phrase in front of Pinkie.

She just smiled, then slid herself over so that she was nestled up beside me.

“What?” I asked, raising an amused eyebrow.

“Nothing,” said Pinkie, with her tongue poking out. “It’s just nice being here with you, when we’ve both been really busy. You’ve been helping out your council, and I’ve been throwing the first Crystal Fair in 1,000 years.”

“Both exhausting, though not for the same reasons,” I said, dryly.

“So after all of that,” said Pinkie, as though she didn’t even notice the sarcasm, “I wanted to just unwind, spend some time with my first ever human friend, like we used to.”

I smiled down at her in return.

“I’ve missed being with you too, Pinkie,” I said. “It’s why I suggested this in the first place. I felt like, with one thing and another, I wasn’t being fair to my first ever pony friend.”

At this, Pinkie blew another raspberry.

“Aw, come on, Davie,” she said. “I might have missed having you around all the time, but I wasn’t about to hold it against you, not when you were getting so used to living in Ponyville. I know I was being silly about it at first, but I really am happy for you. You have your own home, you’re making new friends, and you’re doing your own thing for Equestria. You’ve got nothing to feel guilty about.”

I could practically feel my heart melting. That was what made Pinkie so special: beneath the silliness, the spaciness, and the randomness, she was a sweet and caring pony deep down.

“I don’t know what I did to deserve such a great friend like you,” I said, “but I’m glad for it.”

“Me too, Davie.”

She leaned up and gave me a warm nuzzle on the cheek. It didn’t even matter that it resulted in smearing more flour, batter, and frosting onto my face.

“So, what did you want to do next?” I asked. “Remember, anything you want to do, we’ll do it.”

“Actually, the big sled ride and baking cupcakes were the two biggest things,” said Pinkie, shrugging. “After that, I just wanted to hang out with you, do what you wanted to do.”

“Oh really?” I asked.

I hadn’t really been expecting this. I’d thought Pinkie would have the whole day packed with things for us to do. While it was sweet that she only really wanted to be with me, I hadn’t really planned anything myself, except an errand or two.

“Well, why don’t we take a walk?” I suggested. “See what comes to us?”

“Okey-dokey-lokey!” said Pinkie, springing to her hooves. “We’ll wash ourselves up and be on our way!”

“And the kitchen?” I asked, getting up in turn and looking about at the mess we’d made.

“Mr. and Mrs. Cake said they’d take care of it,” said Pinkie. 

“Did they?”

“Mmm...I dunno,” said Pinkie. “I remember them saying something about the kitchen and cleaning up, so I assumed they meant they’d take care of it while we had fun!”

(Was that what they meant? If not, I’ve got a bad feeling about this.)


***


Soon enough, the two of us were flour and batter-free (Pinkie merely used her tongue in an efficient, yet gross, method, while wondering why I’d taken so long), and afoot (or ahoof) in the streets of Ponyville. At first, I didn’t know where we would actually go, and was just planning on an innocent, aimless wander, but then I remembered the errand I’d set myself a couple days ago. At the same time, a question popped into my head, and I decided to put it to Pinkie.

“Pinkie, what can you tell me about Hearts and Hooves Day?”

“Hearts and Hooves Day? It’s one of the best holidays ever! Although, personally, I like Hearth’s Warming and Nightmare Night a lot more, but that doesn’t mean I like Hearts and Hooves Day any less!” 

“Of course, Pinkie,” I said.

“It’s when ponies everywhere celebrate finding their very special someponies! Or, if they don’t have one, it’s the perfect day to find one!”

“I do remember Twilight saying something like that. Do you have a special somepony?”

Pinkie looked a little surprised at this.

“Me? Nope. I mean, I’ve got a lot of friends who are all special someponies, and you’re a special somehuman, but I don’t have a special somepony. Know what I mean?”

“Err...I think so. What would you look for in one?”

“That’s easy!” said Pinkie, brightly. “I’d like somepony who’s really nice, but likes to have a lot of fun, too! Somepony who likes sweets and parties and making ponies smile just as much as I do!”

“That’s reasonable,” I said, honestly. “Well, Bon Bon wants me to help out during the week Hearts and Hooves Day is happening, and Lyra suggested I play a piano song for the customers. I know it’s not exactly the height of fun, but I figured we could just pop by the music store so I could browse around for a song.”

“Not the height of fun?” asked Pinkie, skeptically. “Puh-lease, Davie. You can have fun anywhere, anytime! You just have to know how. That’s one of my mottos!”

“How many mottos do you have?”

“Way too many to count,” said Pinkie. “And what a coinkydink! Here we are!”

Sure enough, we’d come right up to Serenade’s, Ponyville’s music store. It wasn’t that hard to miss, with the superimposed collection of musical notes atop its sign. Pinkie pushed open the door, which set its bells jingling very musically indeed, and we stepped inside. The inside was divided up into sections devoted to instruments, records, and sheet music. Pleasant tunes trickled through the P.A. system, adding to the atmosphere.

While Pinkie went to play with the instruments (it’s what I’d normally do in a music store), I browsed around the sheet music, searching for something appropriate for Hearts and Hooves Day. As my eyes roved over the selection, I couldn’t help humming a few sentimental songs to myself, ones I knew from movies.

“I know you, I walked with you
Once upon a dream…”

“There’s a calm surrender
To the rush of day…”

“I will always be with you
Makes no difference where your road takes you to…”

“Far longer than forever
I’ll hold you in my heart…”

Finally, my eyes rested on one song in particular, simply titled ‘My Special Somepony’. Flipping through it, it looked easy enough, and it even had lyrics to it. As I read them, my interest peaked, and I couldn’t even help grinning. The song itself was even in one of my favorite keys. This might just be what I’d been looking for.

*BLARRRRP!*

I nearly jumped out of my boots! Pinkie had snuck right up behind me, a sousaphone tucked around her middle, and let loose with a loud, flatulent note. She giggled at my frazzled look.

“Gotcha!”

“Yes...yes, you did, Pinkie,” I said, one hand over my thudding heart.

“Find what you’re looking for?” she asked.

“Actually, I think I did. This song should be easy enough to learn.”

I showed Pinkie, who scrutinized it closely.

“Aww, that’s cute,” she said, as I took it back. “I think they’ll really like hearing this one.”

“Think so?”

“Know so! Victory note!”

“Wait, what?”

*BLAAAAARP!*

That one scared me even worse than the first one, and I actually stumbled backward into the rack of sheet music. Sheets went tumbling out onto the floor at my feet. Looking up from this mess I’d made, I saw the shop owner giving me a dirty look. I grinned sheepishly.

“Sorry,” I mumbled.

*Whaa whaa whaa whaaaaaaaaa*

Don’t even ask me how Pinkie swapped the sousaphone for a trombone so quickly. I wasn’t in the mood to question it.


***


It took a little while to clean up the mess, but eventually, we got it straightened out, and the shopkeeper seemed mollified. After that, I purchased the song I’d found, and Pinkie and I were on our way again. From there, one thing seemed to lead to another.

Serenade’s was close by Ponyville’s movie theater, so I let Pinkie choose a movie for us to see, and she chose Adventures of Pluto Neighsh. As luck would have it, we were the only two attending, and the movie itself was so stupid, we were roaring with laughter and making comments about everything.

“Who wrote these lines? I’ve seen elementary school plays that put in more emotion than that!”

“Looks like somepony doesn’t know how to work a camera! It’s all over the place!”

“Pfft, are you serious?! Look at him! He looks like he doesn’t even care what’s going on!”

Two hours later, we left the theater, and ran into Rainbow Dash. She told us she was going to practice some aerial moves, in order to both stay active in the winter, and toughen herself up to withstand harsher weather. She invited us to come and watch, something I realized I hadn’t been able to do since arriving, even though Rainbow had mentioned it when we first met. Guess we’d both forgotten.

In any case, Rainbow took us out to an open field, and from there, she proceeded to wow us with her athletic aerial acrobatics. She pulled spins, twists, corkscrews, loop-de-loops, somersaults, even mid-air ‘swimming’, just to show off. Boastful as she was about her skills, I had to say, she could back up her bragging very well. The way I saw it, it could only be a matter of time before she became a Wonderbolt. 

At last, satisfied that she had given us quite the show, she bid us goodbye and flew off, and it was some time before I could pick my jaw up off the ground.


***


The daylight was beginning to fade, so I took Pinkie back to my house. While I browsed through my cookbook to find something to make for dinner, Pinkie put on Vinyl’s record, and the house was soon full of her wub-tastic tunes. My pink friend actually started dancing in the middle of my living room, busting a move like nopony’s business. I actually had to put the book down to watch, because it was just hilarious. 

Then, out of nowhere, Pinkie dragged me off the couch, evidently wanting me to dance with her. At first, I felt inclined to refuse, but the bass seemed to be beating my blood into action, and I soon found myself dancing alongside her, even though I doubted anyone could call what I was doing ‘dancing’. Pinkie looked like she was having the time of her life, and, to be truthful, I was having a blast, too.

At last, when we’d danced ourselves stupid and could dance no more, I whipped up dinner for the two of us: grilled cheese sandwiches with sweet potato fries. I must have done a good job on them, or all that dancing must have given Pinkie an appetite, because she helped herself to seconds. How could this girl eat so much and not gain more from it than a little potbelly? Her metabolism was truly remarkable. 

After dinner, Pinkie started looking sleepy, and I saw her eyes stray to the Kureigh. No doubt she was hoping to get a coffee buzz to stay awake, but Mr. Cake’s warning rang in my head, and I steered her away from it and to the couch. She didn’t fight it, but lay on her back on the couch, her head in my lap, peering up at me with those cute baby-blue eyes.

“Are you always this silly even when you’re tired?” I asked, amused.

“Applejack’s the silly pony, silly,” said Pinkie, with a giggle.

“Applejack?” I repeated, confused. “But how’s she...You know what, never mind. You’re obviously tired.”

“Mm-hmm,” said Pinkie, letting out a huge yawn. “It’s been a busy, fun-tabulastic day, and it’s all thanks to you.”

“Oh, what are you talking about?” I asked, teasingly. “You had the ideas from the start.”

“Maybe, but you kept us going with your own ideas,” countered Pinkie.

“You know, let’s just make it simpler and say it was a team effort,” I said.

“Good enough for me,” said Pinkie. “It took the two of us to take down an entire tray of cupcakes in one sitting.”

“And I’ll bet you still had room even after that,” I said, poking her soft belly.

“Heehee, maaaaybe,” giggled Pinkie. “How bout you?” she added, prodding my own gut with her hoof.

“Pfft! Not a chance,” I snickered.

The two of us sat in cozy silence for some time, Pinkie resting her head across my knees. I could have fallen asleep right then and there, but I didn’t want to show disrespect to a guest, and I tried to stay awake. In any case, when Pinkie next spoke, it gave me a start.

“Davie?”

“Whuh? Er, yeah, Pinkie?”

She was looking up at me again, very drowsily, but still with a smile on her face.

“You don’t mind if I stay the night, do you? I’m too sleepy to walk home.”

Was that all she wanted? Well, why not?

“Nah, of course I don’t mind,” I said, tousling her mane. “I’d say that’s the perfect way to close out today.”

Pinkie’s smile widened ever so slightly.

“Thanks, Davie,” she mumbled. “And thanks for today. I had a great time.”

“Me too, Pinkie. It was the most fun that I’ve had in a while.”

“So, who gets the couch, then?” she asked.

I raised a puzzled eyebrow at her.

“What are you talking about? Me, of course. You’ll be more comfortable in my bed.”

“But what if I want the couch?” Pinkie asked, sticking her tongue out at me.

I couldn’t help cracking a grin.

“Then you’ll have to fight me for it,” I joked.

“Oh yeah?” Pinkie challenged, grinning in turn. “How?”

“The most dastardly way possible,” I said.

Reaching over to my right, I grabbed one of the couch’s pillows and fetched her a good whack with it.

“Pillow fight!” I crowed.

Pinkie sprang up, all tiredness forgotten. There was a dangerous smile on her face, and her eyes were narrowed.

“Oh,” she said. “It’s on.”

She grabbed a pillow from the other side, and the two of us fell to one of the most heated pillow fights I’d ever taken part in. However, I soon realized I’d made a big mistake. Pinkie obviously had a lot more experience than me. Maybe it was because it came with being a party pony, but she had me disarmed and at her mercy in less than five minutes, forcing me to yell ‘Uncle’ as she thumped me over and over.

“Ok, Pinkie, ok, you win!” I cried, half-laughing. “You can have the couch!”

Satisfied, Pinkie tossed her pillow aside, where it landed neatly against the armrest, and smiled at me.

“Good fight, Davie,” she said, patting me on the head, “but I never knew a Pie to lose a pillow fight, especially when those pillows were rocks.”

(Now there’s a scary thought.)

Then, without warning, she flopped her head upon the pillow, and fell asleep, snoring.

Now that she was asleep, I could act. Taking her under the forelegs, I managed, with difficulty, to haul her pudgy bulk into my bedroom and set her in my bed. I could take the couch tonight, and she deserved a comfy place to sleep, anyway, no matter how much she actually wanted the couch.

Thankfully, she didn’t wake up once, so I was able to brush my teeth, get changed, then set up the couch to crash on. Going back into my room once more, I looked down at Pinkie, so peaceful and serene. It was hard to believe anyone as hyperactive and exuberant as her could look so calm and at peace. Smiling, I pulled the covers up to her chin and lightly patted her mane.

“Sweet dreams, Pinkie,” I whispered, before backing out of the room, closing the door behind me.

Friday, January 22

> Solitude, Skeet Shooting, and Sickness
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

When I woke up the next morning, I was surprised to find myself in my own bed. Now how in the world had that happened, since I knew for a fact that I had fallen asleep on the couch? Had I sleep-walked and swapped places with Pinkie, or had she moved me? The latter seemed very unlikely. The last time I’d weighed myself, I was at 210, 5 pounds lighter than I was when I started my diet. If my plump-bellied pony friend was difficult for me to carry, imagine how tough it would be for her to drag me around.

Still confused, I got up and went into the living room, where a couple things met my notice. First, Pinkie was nowhere to be seen. Second, Lyra and Bon Bon hadn’t come for me, and it was a little later in the morning than usual. Third, there were sounds of activity coming from the kitchen, and the sound and smell of eggs cooking. Well, perhaps that would explain Pinkie’s absence.

On entering the kitchen, sure enough, I found Pinkie bustling about, wearing an apron, and cooking up a breakfast of pancakes, eggs, and what seemed to be fruit salad. The Kureigh looked untouched, to my relief. Pinkie looked up as I entered, a big smile on her face.

“Morning, Davie!” she said. “Sleep well?”

“Yeah,” I said. “Although, I wasn’t expecting to wake up in my own bed.”

“I told you I wanted the couch,” said Pinkie, sticking her tongue out at me.

“But you didn’t seriously move me, did you?” I asked, incredulously. “How?”

“It wasn’t that tough,” said Pinkie, breezily. “Nothing a few balloons couldn’t handle.”

Wait, what? Did she seriously carry me across my own house with balloons?

“I hope you don’t mind me making us breakfast,” Pinkie said, interrupting my train of thought. “You did say I could help myself to the fridge.”

“I did, didn’t I?” I muttered. “Well, this is very thoughtful of you, Pinkie. Thanks.”

“You’re welcome!” said Pinkie, brightly. “Now go wash up, and I’ll have it ready when you’re done.”

“Ok, ‘Mom’,” I joked, and I heard Pinkie giggle as I went to go get cleaned up.


***


Once I was washed and dressed, I sat down with Pinkie to breakfast. Everything was delicious, as nothing less could be expected.

“Did Lyra or Bon Bon stop by this morning?” I asked, after taking a swig of orange juice.

“Yep,” said Pinkie. “Well, sorta. I heard something at the door, and when I went to check, I saw a note left on your door.”

She handed it across the table to me. It read,

“Hey, Dave. Sorry, but we’re not gonna be able to come for our walks for a while. Bonnie’s got too much to do to prepare for Hearts and Hooves Day, and I agreed to help her. Don’t worry, we’re still going to follow the diet, and we’re confident you’ll be able to carry on without us for a little while. This includes piano practice; you’ve got our utmost faith. -Lyra.”

“Oh, I see,” I said, setting it aside. “I don’t want to stand in the way of their schedules. If they have that much faith in me, I wouldn’t want to let them down, either. I think I can do fine by myself for a while. But speaking of practice,” I added, “I need to get a good start on that song I just bought. With luck, I’ll have it down pat by the time Bon Bon asks me to come in to help.”

“You’ve got plenty of time,” said Pinkie. “Today’s the 23rd, and the week of Hearts and Hooves Day starts on the 10th of February.”

“Sounds nice and long when you say it like that,” I said, “but I can remember fooling myself into procrastination with similar thinking back in school. Didn’t go so well for me.” 

“Ahh, you’ll be fine,” said Pinkie, waving her hoof dismissively. “Don’t be such a Fretty McFretterson, or a Worry Von Worrywarton, or a-.”

“I get the picture, Pinkie.”

From there, breakfast continued without further discussion. Once it was done, Pinkie pushed back her plate and sat up.

“Thanks a bunch for letting me stay over, Davie,” she said, “but I really ought to be getting back to Sugarcube Corner.”

“It was my pleasure, Pinkie,” I said, walking with her to the door. “I’ll see you later, ok?”

“Yep-yep! Bye!”

And with that, after giving me a very quick, but nonetheless warm, hug, she hopped out the door, bouncing through the snow and making little craters in it as she did. She looked over her shoulder to smile at me as she disappeared, and I waved and smiled in return. Once she was gone, I went back to the kitchen to clear up. Pinkie hadn’t left too big a mess, especially compared to the aftermath of our cupcakes, but the inside of my fridge was beginning to look lacking. I wondered if Pinkie hadn’t helped herself to the contents after all.

“Ah well,” I said, shrugging. “I needed to restock, anyway.”


***


Later that day, I took a trip down to the Ponyville marketplace to grocery shop. As I browsed around the stalls, I couldn’t help thinking about something that had been wandering on the edge of my mind as of late. While living off bread, dairy, fruits, and vegetables was all well and good, and very beneficial for someone losing weight, what I would really like, one of these days, was a nice, juicy hamburger, or some fried chicken, or even pork chops, just like Mom used to make. The thought alone was enough to make my mouth water…

However, it was no good thinking about that kind of stuff. Early on, when I’d come to realize where I’d landed, I knew that in a society led by equines, satisfying carnivorous cravings might prove impossible. What would my friends think of me, if I showed a sudden desire to eat meat? Fluttershy especially might have a heart attack. I didn’t want to take that risk. In the interest of those I cared about, some sacrifices had to be made.

“Hello, Dave!”

I looked up. I had reached the carrot stall without realizing, and there was Golden Harvest, smiling genially at me.

“Oh! Hi, Golden Harvest. How are you?”

“Pretty well. Fancy some carrots?”

“Yes, please. About half a dozen.”

I slid her some bits, and in return, she slid me some carrots. I laid them as best I could in my saddlebag; it was already pretty full. Either I’d have to get another bag, or make another trip.

“Full load today, huh?” asked Golden Harvest, noticing.

“Heh, yeah,” I said, sheepishly. “I let my fridge get a little too empty.”

Golden Harvest’s expression darkened noticeably at this.

“Don’t even get me started,” she muttered, icily.

I blinked at her. What was she talking about?”

“Come again?” I asked.

“Empty fridges!” said Golden Harvest, her eyes popping wide open. “It feels like I can’t take my eyes off mine for two seconds before, bam! Empty! I don’t know how she does it!”

“Who? Pinkie?” I asked.

“Pinkie? She’s a big eater, definitely, but she doesn’t swing by my place often enough for it. No, I’m talking about Derpy.”

“Derpy?” I asked, incredulous.

“Don’t get me wrong,” said Golden Harvest, “she’s a very dear friend, but she’s got the appetite of a timberwolf, especially for sweet stuff! I mean, I know my friends say they like my cooking, but I swear, I spend more on groceries in a week than most ponies do in a month! Is a little consideration too much to ask for?!”

Quite a few ponies were staring our way now, at Golden Harvest breathing heavily and glaring daggers at nothing in particular. I, for my part, was feeling very uncomfortable, and heartily regretted bringing up refrigerators, empty or otherwise.

“I’m sorry,” I managed to say.

Golden Harvest took a deep breath, and seemed to compose herself.

“Don’t worry about it,” she said. “It’s my burden to bear.”

“Er, right. Well, bye, then.”

I took my leave of the carrot mare and continued on my way, wondering if Derpy knew about all this, and what she would say if I tried explaining it to her. In the end, I decided that maybe this was something I just shouldn’t stick my nose in. Hopefully, it would resolve itself.


***


Once I’d gotten home and restocked my fridge, I set about practicing a little of ‘My Special Somepony’. Though I appreciated Pinkie’s confidence in me, I wasn’t about to start slacking off. Bon Bon and Lyra were counting on me to be there to help, and if the customers would appreciate some romantic music, I didn’t want to shirk my part. I’d practice for maybe an hour, then go out and take my daily walk.

After that, I was afoot again, picking my way leisurely through the countryside. I’d walked this path enough times with Lyra and Bon Bon to know my way, and since I was more awake, I could actually appreciate it a little more. It made me wonder what my former exercise buddies planned to do to keep themselves in shape, now that we were going our separate ways, so to speak.

Come to think of it, those two had been acting kinda weird ever since I came back from Canterlot. Well, maybe it was more accurate to say after Bon Bon’s little sulking fit. There was less snarking between them, and less talking in general, come to think of it. They were happy just to walk alongside each other, so close that their flanks touched. I couldn’t suppress a vague feeling that something else was going on here, but I couldn’t think what.

I was dragged out of my thoughts by a loud cry of ‘Pull!’ All of a sudden, a Frisbee whizzed past my ear, seconds before something like a bullet did the same. It glanced off the Frisbee, which floated unsteadily to the snow.

“What the-?!”

“Whoops! Sorry, Dave!”

I looked up. A large rubber band had been stretched between the trunks of two trees. A box full of Frisbees and a big bag of marbles sat nearby, as well as a barrel of bubble soap, according to the labeling on it. A golf club had been planted into the snow behind and between the two trees, and at it stood my four fellow Crusaders.

“We didn’t hit you, did we?” asked Sweetie Belle, anxiously.

“No, but it was a near thing,” I said, more out of jest than anger. “Now, do you mind telling me what’s going on?”

“We’re skeet shootin’!” said Apple Bloom, proudly.

I blinked. Had I really heard right?

“...Skeet shooting?” I asked, blankly.

“Yep!” said Scootaloo. “We’re getting a head-start for the Equestria Games, if they’re doing a Junior Division this year! We’re gonna be…”

(Here we go again…)

“Cutie Mark Crusaders Skeet Shooters!”

The four voices in high-pitched unison shook the snow loose off a nearby tree, and some winter birds took flight.

“And this is why you needed all those things you mentioned at Pinkie’s party?” I asked. “Marbles, Frisbees, a golf club, and a rubber band?”

“Uh-huh!” said Sweetie Belle.

I didn’t even know where to begin with what was wrong with this scenario. On the one hand, they were just kids, and probably hadn’t understood about clay pigeons and all that. Besides, it was both adorable and kind of funny that they’d made their own spin on it with marbles and Frisbees. On the other hand, where would this end, since this was clearly not going to get them skeet shooting cutie marks? Part of me wanted to correct them, but the other part didn’t want to ruin it for them.

“But why the bubble soap?” I asked, moving to another topic. “What does that do for skeet shooting?”

“Oh, that’s not for skeet shooting,” said Scootaloo. “It’s for Dinky.”

She looked at her little sister, who held up a bubble wand with magic from her horn, and beamed adorably.

“I like blowing bubbles,” she said.

“Ohh, I see,” I said, smiling.

And then, the reality of what I was seeing hit me like a punch.

“Whoa, hang on! Dinky, are you using magic?”

“Uh-huh,” said Dinky, “but I’m still learning. I can only hold up little things, like my bubble wand.”

“And how about you, Sweetie Belle?”

“Err, I’m not too good at it yet,” Sweetie Belle admitted, blushing slightly. “But,” she added, brightly, “Twilight did say she’d be glad to teach Dinky and me!”

“Good!” I said.

“So, Dave, you wanna try for a skeet shooting cutie mark?” asked Apple Bloom, eagerly.

“As fun as that sounds, Apple Bloom,” I said, “I’m afraid I’m gonna have to pass. I’ve never been the best aim, to be honest.”

“Oh. Ok, then,” said Apple Bloom.

She didn’t sound disappointed, but I still felt a little ashamed.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been able to be there for a lot of your recent crusades,” I said, humbly. “I feel like I haven’t been a faithful Crusader.”

“Don’t worry about it,” said Scootaloo, with a smile. “You’ve been really busy lately. We understand.”

“And besides,” said Dinky, “maybe you’ll get your cutie mark in what you’re busy with!”

“Yeah!” said Sweetie Belle. “You could be a-”

(Again?...)

“Cutie Mark Crusader Councilstallion!”

The birds that had come back since the first fright were awing again, and didn’t look happy about it.

“Heh, yeah, maybe so,” I said. “Well, have fun, girls.”

“Bye!”

Their big, adorable smiles followed me as I walked past them, but I hadn’t gone quite out of earshot before I heard another cry of ‘Pull!’, and the crack of another marble on another Frisbee.

(How long can Ponyville stand until those four find their cutie marks? Long enough, I hope.)


***


The rest of the day would have passed without anything of remark, if not for one thing that happened. In the middle of the afternoon, there came a knock at the door. Opening it up, I beheld Derpy, still wearing the muffin scarf I’d had made for her. There was a book under her foreleg.

“Hi, Dave!”

“Hey, Derpy. What’s up?”

“I’ve got a message from Twilight,” she said. “If you and Moonlight are finished with The Stone of Light, you can swap it for the next one here. It’s the most recently published as of now. I was in the area, so I offered to bring it over.”

She handed me the book, and I looked at the cover. It depicted Daring Do and Dowser looking up (grimly determined in Daring’s case, apprehensive for Dowser) at what looked like a winged serpent (thankfully with its mouth closed), a silver amulet set with a yellow stone between them, and Ahuizotl lurking in the bottom. The title read ‘Daring Do and the Amulet of Atonement’.

“Wow,” I breathed. “I can’t wait to read this one with Moonlight. Here, let me grab the other one.”

I fetched the book, and we only just made the swap, when Derpy’s muzzle scrunched up.

“You ok, Derpy?”

And then, before either of us could stop it, she suddenly sneezed. As best as she tried to cover it up, I still felt flecks of wet hit me as I cringed. She gasped, looking shocked.

“Oh, gosh! Dave, I am so sorry! My hooves were full, and I was flying, and I just couldn’t-”

“Relax, Derpy, it’s ok,” I said, holding a hand up to quell her torrent of apologies. “It was an accident.”

“Ohhh, but if you get sick because of me…” Derpy fretted.

“It’s ok,” I said, firmly. “Don’t worry about it. I won’t blame you.”

I put a hand to her shoulder in a comforting way. She still looked unhappy, but she nodded all the same.

“Thanks, Dave, but I’m still sorry. If you do get sick, and there’s anything I can do...Maybe I should just go, before I sneeze on you again. Bye.”

And with that, she flew off, the book I’d given her clutched in her hooves.

“If she keeps saying she’s sorry like that,” I mused, “she’ll give Fluttershy a run for her bits.” 

Saturday, January 23


***


*Aaaaa-choo!*

The next morning, I don’t think I would have woken up if not for that sneeze. My head felt like it was full of lead, my eyes heavy and aching, my throat sore, my nose clogged, and my skin cold. I could barely see, and my heart felt like it was going at a rate of 100 mph.

It looked like Derpy had had reason to worry after all.

“Ugggggh,” was the first thing I could utter, truly the most profoundly loquacious noise ever heard. Not.

It was torture to rise, but today was Sunday. I couldn’t keep Minister Ironmane waiting when he came. Besides, a little tea might do me some good. So, even though my legs felt like jelly, and my head swam, I made the best of my way to the kitchen to brew some tea. One thing consoled me, though: there was no piano practice this Sunday, so I wouldn’t be letting Lyra and Bon Bon down by not showing up.

The tea really did seem to make me feel a little better; my throat pain started ebbing away, and my nose felt a little less clogged, but I still felt weak and stuffy. I felt like I hadn’t been sitting very long before there was a knock at the door. I winced. It sounded too loud for me. Getting unsteadily to my feet, I hobbled over, threw on my coat, and opened the door. There, sure enough, was Minister Ironmane. He looked a little surprised to see me in such a condition as I was in.

“Good borning, Binister,” I said, through my stuffed nose.

“Good morning, David. Are you feeling all right? You look a little under the weather.”

“I thig I cawd a code, Binister,” I confessed. “I’m nod feelig too well.”

“That’s a pity,” he said, not unkindly. “You have my wishes for a swift recovery, David.”

“Thag you.”

“Especially so, in light of some news I have for you.”

“Dews, Binister?”

“Yes. As the Brimstone Lounge is nearing completion, I’ve come to extend an invitation to you to its grand opening. After all, you are partly responsible for its coming about.”

“Oh? Dat’s gread! When’s obenig day?”

“The builders predict that the Lounge will be ready in about a week,” said Ironmane. “So, if you’re well enough by then, we would appreciate your coming along. The Lounge is situated at what might be considered the midway point between pony and dragon boundaries, and it’s quite a distance.”

That made sense, I suppose.

“I’ll do by best to be well by den, Binister,” I said, as earnestly as I could muster.

“Very well, then,” said Ironmane. “I should also point out that those attending are allowed to bring guests, so you may want to think of a ‘+1’ to bring along.”

“A plud one? All ride, I can do that.”

“Good. Here, then, are your weekly dues, and that is all for now. Get better soon, David, and good day.”

“Thags, and good day,” I said, my bag of dues feeling much heavier in my weak arms than usual.

In his usual stiff fashion, Ironmane took his leave, and I went back inside, closing the door behind me. If I had been in a less miserable state of mind, I would have noted that Ironmane was actually sympathetic with my illness, and probably would have been much less so when he’d first known me, and still believed me to be connected with those… In any case, I had other things to think about, like getting better by next week, and what would happen to my diet plans and piano practice if I was so weak I could barely walk. As for someone to bring to the Lounge’s grand opening, I was sure Pinkie would love to come. I’d just have to ask her the next chance I had.

In the midst of these thoughts, there was another knock at the door. Had Ironmane forgotten something? Setting my dues aside and hobbling back over, I opened the door to find Sparkler on the doorstep, wearing a set of saddlebags

“Sparkler? Whad are you doig here?”

“Making sure Mom wasn’t just fretting over nothing,” said Sparkler, “but it looks like it wasn’t nothing. Excuse me.”

She stepped inside, and I wobbled out of the way. Shutting the door behind her, she looked me over, tutting as she took in my appearance.

“You look dreadful,” she said, bluntly. 

“Thags,” I said, dryly. “Now, why are you here?”

“Mom was freaking out over sneezing on you yesterday, so I had to calm her down by promising I’d help you get better if you got sick. Well, you are sick, and here I am. Now, go lie down.”

“Bud-”

“Dave. Go. Lie. Down.”

A chill ran down my spine. Sparkler’s voice, rather than getting higher in anger, became very soft, but in a deadly sort of way. There was also a very un-Sparkler-ish glint in her eyes, something that made them go from soft and gentle to harsh and frightening. Something told me I’d better not make her repeat herself, or something bad would happen. 

Hastily, I made my way back to my bedroom and fell back into bed. Sparkler joined me at my bedside, but her face had relaxed into its usual kindly look, and she even brushed my hair back lightly as she placed a hoof to my forehead. She shook her head.

“You’re burning up. Mom’s in a similar way to you. Looks like you both caught a bug going around, but don’t worry. I’m going to help you both get over it.”

“Sparkler,” I muttered, “you don’t have to...You mud be biddy already…”

“It’s no trouble,” said Sparkler, softly. “You’re practically family, Dave, and I’m going to help you. Now, I’ll drop by to check on you every now and then, but in the meantime, I want you to take this every four hours. And don’t worry, it’s safe for you. I know a doctor, and he gave it his approval.”

She pulled a brown bottle and a medicine cup out of her saddlebags, and from the former into the latter, she poured out a measure of sickly-red liquid. The smell alone almost made me gag.

“Now, open up,” she said, in a slightly firmer voice.

Not wishing to incur her anger, I obeyed, but I coughed and spluttered as I swallowed. The stuff was disgusting. As if she hadn’t noticed, she placed both bottle and cup on my bedside table.

“Every four hours,” she said, “and you’re not to get up from that bed until I’m satisfied with your progress. I’ll drop by later to make you some soup. Now, get some rest, all right?”

She patted my shoulder in a friendly way, that sweet, sisterly smile on her face, and I nodded. Satisfied, she trotted out of my room, and as my heavy eyes began to close, I heard the door close.

Sunday, January 24


***


The week I spent in bed was one of the most miserable of my life. I had nowhere to go, and had nothing but coughing, sneezing, sniffling, and bad-tasting medicine to keep me company.

Well, technically, that wasn’t completely accurate. True to her word, Sparkler came by to check on me, make sure I was comfortable, make me soup and other foods best suited for a cold, and see to it that I kept up on my medicine. She was only as stern as a concerned parent or older sibling, but I was careful not to give her any reason to get truly irritated. Otherwise, she was patient, sympathetic, and caring. Dinky and Scootaloo were lucky to have such a wonderful sister.

As the week went on, I gradually began to recover. My sore throat and headache vanished, my nose became much less stuffy, and I could move about the house under my own power. Sparkler still wouldn’t let me leave the house or overexert myself, however, so I was still confined to the limits of my own domicile. In that week, nothing of note truely happened, except for one extremely peculiar thing on Friday.

It started while I was still in bed, just waking up. I heard a knocking at my window, and when I looked up, it was to see Pinkie lifting it open and poking her head in. Don’t even ask me how she managed to do that from the outside. I was becoming less and less surprised by her antics these days.

“Hi, Davie!”

“Hi, Pinkie.”

“I heard you weren’t feeling too well,” she said, sympathetically. “How are you now?”

“Much better than before, thanks,” I said.

Pinkie smiled kindly. Seeing her there suddenly reminded me of what Ironmane had said.

“Oh! Pinkie, I wanted to ask you something.”

“Hmm?”

“Minister Ironmane said that the Brimstone Lounge is going to be having its grand opening soon. How’d you like to be my +1 on that day?”

Pinkie looked surprised at first, then her face split into a wide smile.

“The grand opening of the Brimstone Lounge? That’s as good as a party! You bet I’ll-”

She stopped suddenly, and her face fell.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Ohh, I just remembered,” she said, in a fretful voice. “The Cakes got invited, too! I’m their go-to babysitter! If I was gone, and they were gone, who’d look after the twins? A restaurant full of dragons is no place for little foals! I can’t do both at once!”

I’d never seen Pinkie this agitated before. She was biting her lip and scratching her scalp so hard that she’d soon have her mane rubbed clean off if she didn’t stop.

“Errrr, I’ll get back to you, Davie!” she said, quickly. “Hope you’re better soon!”

And before I could say anything else, she pulled her head back through the window, shut it behind her, and was gone. For some minutes, I just lay there, staring at where she’d been, perplexed at her behavior and abrupt departure. However, that wasn’t the weird bit. That came later in the day.


***


Sparkler wasn’t around, and I was in the kitchen, just taking my afternoon dose of medicine, when I heard a strange noise coming from outside. It sounded like a large crowd was stampeding its way towards the house, through the snow. Curious, I shuffled to the window and wiped at it to look out.

What I saw made my jaw drop.

It was Pinkie. But it wasn’t just Pinkie. At least two dozen identical Pinkie Pies were hopping past, giggling and squealing ‘Fun! Fun!’ over and over again! 

I blinked, took off my glasses, wiped them on my pajamas, then put them on again. I couldn’t have just seen that! It was impossible!

“FUN!”

“YAUGHH!”

I stumbled backwards, knocking over my chair as I collapsed against it. One of the Pinkies had pressed her face right up to the window, scaring me half to death! In the next second, it had gone, and the multitude of Pinkies had moved along. I just sat there, dumbfounded, heart thudding like mad. Then, I picked up my bottle of medicine and looked it over.

“What the heck do they put in this stuff?” I muttered. “I don’t remember hallucinations being a side effect of taking it.”

Friday, February 1

> Off to the Lounge
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

By the next day, in spite of the shock I’d received yesterday, I felt more or less completely cured when I woke up. I could breathe through my nose, my throat didn’t hurt, and there was no phlegmy feeling in me. I didn’t even feel the urge to cough. I’d have to find out which doctor Sparkler had gotten my medicine from, because he really knew his stuff.

“Davie!”

“GYAH!”

Oh no! It was happening again! Pinkie’s face had pressed itself up against my bedroom window, smiling at me. I tumbled straight out of bed onto the floor. Before I could say or do anything else, however, she disappeared from the window. I heard the front door open, and in bounded Pinkie, just one Pinkie, pouncing on me with a very tight hug that knocked the wind out of me.

“P-Pinkie!” I gasped. “What are you-?!”

“Oh, Davie, I’m so sorry!” Pinkie cried, squeezing me even tighter. “It was all my fault! Please forgive me!”

“F-Forgive you? For what?”

Pinkie finally let go of me (thank goodness), and plunked herself down on her hindquarters, looking me full in the face.

“I made a boo-boo, Davie,” she said, contritely. “I thought I was missing out on fun I didn’t even know was happening, and it was too much for one Pinkie Pie to handle, so I made more of me in the Mirror Pool, and then things really got coco-loco!”

Well, that explained absolutely nothing, but I was sure she tried her best.

“Okaaaay...” I said, slowly.

“Twilight sorted everything out,” she added, smiling again. “I’m so lucky to have such a brainy friend.”

“Well, good,” I said, still as clueless as ever when it came to Pinkie.

“Sooooo,” Pinkie went on, “I was doing some thinking about the Brimstone Lounge.”

“Yeah?” I asked, glad to be back on a subject I understood.

“Mr. and Mrs. Cake were invited because they’ve been dabbling in gem baking ever since they made Spike a sapphire cupcake for his birthday. I guess that Ironmane guy you work for found out, and he invited them. If you wanted me to come with you, that would mean I’d need somepony else to watch the twins while we were gone. Not just that, but it had to be somepony the Cakes could trust them with. They already turned down Gummy, even though they ought to know how dependable he is. I would’ve asked Twilight, but she and Spike are going too, and all our other friends are busy. I wasn’t sure who I was going to ask, but then, it hit me! Moonlight can watch them!”

“Oh, really?” I asked.

“Yeah! The twins love her! And Gummy’s always coming down to visit her during work!”

That would work. It also made me happy to know a few familiar faces would be joining me at the Lounge. That way, I wouldn’t feel so alien amongst all the dragons that would be there.

“I’m gonna go ask her right now!” said Pinkie. “I’ll need to make sure she’s really qualified for the job, after all,” she added, in a more serious tone that slightly chilled me, before returning to her usual cheery self. “See ya, Davie!”

And she was off, just like that. I sighed and shook my head, but I couldn’t help smiling.

“There’s never a dull moment with that girl,” I muttered, as I got up to get washed up.


***


When Sparkler came over later to check up on me, she was very pleased to see that I was in good health once again, having given me a basic run-through just to be safe..

“All in order,” she said, checking a thermometer she’d just plucked from my mouth. “You’re no longer restricted to the house.”

“Thanks, Sparkler,” I said. “I really appreciate you helping me get better.”

Sparkler smiled kindly and patted my hand with her hoof.

“Anytime, Dave,” she said. “So, you’re going to the grand opening of the Brimstone Lounge?”

“Yep. Minister Ironmane told me about it last week.”

“Good! I was invited too, though not in person like you.”

She used her magic to fish around in her saddle bag until she pulled out a very official looking letter, written in very elegant cursive and bordered with gold. It gave the date of opening as tomorrow, as Ironmane had said was the estimated day at the time he told me.

“That’s great!” I said. “I’ll feel a lot more comfortable with friendly faces around me.”

“I feel the same way,” said Sparkler, giggling genially. “So, who’s your plus one?”

“Pinkie,” I said. “She’s just making sure Moonlight can watch the twins and Gummy, since Mr. and Mrs. Cake are going, too.”

“Oh, ok!” said Sparkler. “I’m bringing Mom with me. I would’ve asked Dinky or Scootaloo, but they didn’t seem too keen on going to a restaurant full of dragons. Funny, though,” she added, musingly, “they seemed excited about the prospect before. I wonder what changed their minds.”

I shrugged. I hadn’t the foggiest idea.

“It’s a shame Moonlight won’t get to come, though, if she agrees to babysit in Pinkie’s place,” I said. “After all, she helped out, too. She gave me the slogan for the...for the…”

My train of thought had suddenly hit a bend in the track as a horrible thought came to me. I clapped a hand to my face.

“...Oh no! I don’t believe it!” I groaned.

“What? What’s wrong?” asked Sparkler, concerned.

“The sign! I forgot to give the sign to Minister Ironmane when he visited! It was all ready to go and everything! Argh!”

I grabbed fistfuls of my hair and yanked at it in frustration, then started smacking my forehead with my palm.

“Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!”

“Dave! Calm down!”

Before I could smack myself again, Sparkler stopped my hand with her magic, inches away from my forehead. She looked at me with earnest sternness, though thankfully not with the same dangerous gleam in her eyes I’d seen when I didn’t obey her right away.

“Take it easy. You were sick at the time. It’s no wonder you’d have forgotten. I’m sure Minister Ironmane will understand. Besides,” she added, with a smile, “maybe it’s better this way. That sign gets to be the final touch before the Lounge is officially opened.”

Gently, she used her magic to lower my hand down again. I took a deep breath, and began to gradually feel calmer.

“I hope you’re right, Sparkler,” I said. “Minister Ironmane’s been a lot more civil with me lately. I’d hate to ruin that.”

“I understand,” said Sparkler, “but it’s all going to be fine. Trust me. I have the word of a good authority on it.”

“Hi again!”

Both of us jumped. Neither of us had heard Pinkie come in, but there she was, smiling around at the both of us.

“Hey there, Pinkie,” said Sparkler, recovering her composure. “Dave told me he invited you to the Brimstone Lounge’s grand opening.”

“Yep!” said Pinkie. “I just got Moonlight’s A-OK on watching the twins, and Mr. and Mrs. Cake were on board, too! So,” she added, saluting with one foreleg, “Plus One Pinkie Pie, reporting for duty!”

“Excellent!” I said. “Between the three of us, Derpy, Twilight, Spike, and the Cakes, this could be a lot of fun.”

“Couldn’t have put it better myself, Davie!” said Pinkie, both she and Sparkler grinning from ear to ear.

Saturday, February 2


***


I was up and dressed earlier than usual, clothed in my Canterlot ensemble. Something as grand and prestigious as the opening of a restaurant, one that, moreover, was to stand as a sign of peace between ponies, dragons, and the rest of Equestria, was a special occasion. As much as it made me feel awkward to get dressed up like this, I could really use the extra layers outside. I had no idea when we were actually supposed to leave, but I guessed Ironmane would come for me around his usual time, and we would be off. 

The only question was, how would we get there? The dragon wastelands lay in the southeast of Equestria, but I had never, on any map I’d seen, found a railroad line that went through it. Maybe they’d rented a carriage to take us from the nearest station?

Sure enough, around Ironmane’s usual time, there was a knock at the door. I hastened to answer, the sign under my arm...but it wasn’t Minister Ironmane at the door. Instead, it was one of Canterlot’s royal pegasus guards.

“Councilstallion David?” he asked, crisply.

“Er, yes?”

“We have come to collect you and your fellow guests and convey you to the Brimstone Lounge, as per Minister Ironmane’s instructions.”

“Oh. I see,” I said, slightly bemused. “I was sort of expecting him in person, so I could deliver this sign for the Lounge to him.”

“That shall be accommodated,” said the guard. “As there are currently no train lines within reasonable distance of the spot where the Brimstone Lounge is situated, we shall go by air.”

Oh no. I was afraid he’d say that…

“Moreover, as it is a long flight, and this being a special occasion, Minister Ironmane deemed it appropriate to hire a special carriage for the trip, and Their Majesties approved.”

He indicated for me to take a look a little ways down, and what I saw made my mouth fall open. A magnificent, and rather large, four-wheeled carriage stood in the snow, closer to the Hooves’ house. No less than five winged pegasi, all of them strong and sturdy in appearance, were harnessed to it. They must have been made of really tough stuff, as they all looked solemn and stoic, and none of them showed any sign of being disturbed by the cold. A sixth harness was empty, probably for the guard talking to me.

“Wow,” I breathed.

“Oooh, look, it’s here! We’ll see you later, dears! Come on, Sparkler!”

“Coming, Mom!”

The door to the Hooves’ house had opened, and Derpy and Sparkler came out, both of them wearing dresses, simple but nonetheless nice. Derpy’s was bright green, Sparkler’s violet, and both were wearing necklaces with pendants resembling their cutie marks. They looked very charming, and Derpy’s ensemble especially complimented her figure nicely, in spite of her winter pudge. She was, however, fidgeting with the collar of it, as well as the thin sash belted around her middle. She must have been quite uncomfortable.

“Good morning, ladies,” said the guard, bowing his head as they approached.

“Good morning,” said Sparkler, bowing in turn, as did Derpy. “We’re very pleased to have this honor.”

I looked over at Derpy. She was smiling in a way that told me she was slightly embarrassed by all this. She wasn’t the only one.

Glancing at the house, I could see Scootaloo and Dinky peeking through the living room window. I waved to them, and they waved back with adorable energy. It looked like there was someone else in the house, but I couldn’t see properly. My only guess was it was whoever was looking after the two of them while we were gone. The guard cleared his throat.

“All aboard, then, everypony,” he said. “Once we have picked up the remaining guests, we shall be on our way in earnest.”

We boarded the carriage. The interior was very spacious, and the seats were exceedingly comfortable. It was some consolation that we’d be flying in a closed carriage rather than in an open one, especially in this cold air. After making sure my sign was secure, I glanced at Derpy and Sparkler, who both smiled at me, so I smiled back. Once the door was shut, and the guard had harnessed himself alongside his fellows, the six of them stirred into action, and we were soon rumbling off through Ponyville.


***


Ponies everywhere stared as the coach rolled through the streets, stepping quickly out of the way. I was sitting by one of the windows, so I was easily recognized. Several ponies waved at me, and I waved back, grinning bashfully. This didn’t feel quite the same as sledding through with Pinkie.

Speaking of, our next stop was Sugarcube Corner, where Pinkie and the Cakes were already waiting outside the door. Pinkie hopped aboard, wearing a white dress that was speckled here and there with pastel streaks, as though she was a birthday cake, or else covered in confetti. She settled herself right next to me, beaming at me, and giving off a sugary aroma that lent credence to my first theory. The Cakes then followed, Mr. Cake in a crisp suit and bow tie, Mrs. Cake in a cream-colored party dress. I’d only ever seen them in their work aprons, so this was a surprising change for them.

At the door, we could see Moonlight, looking hale and hearty. She was wearing a pair of baby carriers at her sides, bearing Pound and Pumpkin. On her head sat Gummy, as placid as ever. Moonlight waved to us, and we waved back. The twins waggled their little hooves in the air, letting out excited squeals that brought big smiles out on the faces of all present.

“I’m glad Moonlight agreed to watch them,” I told the Cakes.

“So are we,” said Mrs. Cake. “With Pinkie coming along as well, we thought we’d have to go around looking for another babysitter again.”

“But then Pinkie volunteered Moonlight,” said Mr. Cake, “and she was more than willing to help out.” 

“I know Moonlight’s up to the challenge,” said Pinkie. “I gave her a Pinkie-brand inquisition, and she passed with flying colors! Although, the only colors she has are blue and white, and yellow from her cutie mark, and she is a pegasus.”

(‘Pinkie-brand inquisition’? I don’t even wanna know.)

After that, the carriage rolled up to the library. Twilight and Spike climbed aboard, the former in a navy-blue dress that seemed to sparkle like a night sky, and the latter in a dapper tuxedo jacket with a ruffled dress shirt underneath. He looked absolutely excited, and it wasn’t hard to guess why.

“You ready to try some gem dishes, little buddy?” I asked Spike, grinning.

“You know it!” Spike said.

“As soon as I received the invitation, there was no question who I was bringing with,” said Twilight, smiling in an amused way. “It’ll also be a good opportunity for him to meet dragons that actually care about making friends with ponies.”

“Yeah, not like last time,” said Spike, his smile fading a little.

“Everypony aboard and comfortable?” called the guard who had spoken to me.

“Yes, sir!” Twilight called through the window.

“Very well, then. Off we go!”

There was a great lurch, sending me right against the back of my seat, and the carriage was carried right off the ground. A sinking feeling went right through my insides, and I winced as I looked out at the slowly shrinking land beneath us. Even inside, it wasn’t a comfortable sensation.

“Are you going to be all right, Dave?”

I looked up. Twilight was looking at me with mild concern on her face. She must have known what I was going through; she’d witnessed my freakout on the way to Cloudsdale, after all. I took a deep breath, and tried to give her the most confident smile I could.

“Y-Yeah,” I said. “Don’t worry about me, Twi. I’ll be fine.”

She smiled back, then fell into talk with Derpy, while Pinkie drowned out my uneasy thoughts by telling me about how she got into an argument with a customer the other day over the concept of a baker’s dozen, and especially over it being ‘unlucky 13’.

(Well, I wasn’t expecting to be up in the air again. This was not how I intended to head to such a huge event. Then again, hopefully the opening of the Lounge will counterbalance all that. It’s going to be full of dragons, so it’ll be interesting to say the least.)

Sunday, February 3
> The Brimstone Lounge
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The pegasi went at a good pace, but even then, the flight took quite a long time. There was no shortage of conversation, however.

Derpy was chatting with the Cakes, and was especially keen on a new item they said they were adding to Sugarcube Corner’s menu, called a ‘Lemon Muffin Surprise’. That did sound tasty. I’d have to see to it once my diet was over with. Twilight was speaking in general about the historical significance of the land we were crossing, but it was doubtful whether anyone really heard her. Spike and Sparkler were discussing what kind of foods would be on the menu at the Lounge. Sparkler seemed very interested in Spike’s opinion on the taste of certain gemstones, something of which he was proving to be quite the authority. The little guy appeared quite proud of being given such attention, and Twilight, too absorbed in her history lesson, wasn’t stopping him. 

Pinkie, meanwhile, had been engaging me in several ‘road trip games’, like ‘I Spy’ and all that. Now, we were on ‘Would You Rather’ I didn’t mind. The more distracted I was, the less I thought about how I wasn’t sure my stomach could handle eating once we got to the restaurant.

“Ok, here’s one, Davie,” said Pinkie, smiling deviously. “Would you rather speak every language in the world, or play every instrument ever?”

Now that was a doozy. I let out a long, deep sigh.

“That’s a toughie, Pinkie,” I said. “Both would be really awesome, buuuut...I’d probably want to speak every language. As long as it doesn’t overload my brain,” I added.

“Good choice!” Pinkie said. “Ok, your turn!”

“All right. Hmmmm....Ah! I’ve got one. Would you rather always have the same song stuck in your head, or have the same dream every night?”

I could see by Pinkie’s expression that I’d really stumped her.

“Oooooh, wow,” she muttered. “That’s a tough choice. As much as I like singing, I think I’d rather have the same dream every night. Most of mine are about frosting, and I love every minute of them.”

She licked her lips in a dreamy way, her eyes going out of focus. I wouldn’t have expected anything less from her. It also made me wonder what Princess Luna’s opinions were on those kinds of dreams.

After what felt like an eternity, the carriage finally landed with a gentle bump. 

“Aha!” Sparkler said, suddenly, as she looked out the window. “There it is!”

Everyone crowded around the windows for a look, myself included. With Pinkie’s squishy cheek pressed against my face, it wasn’t easy to see what Sparkler had been indicating, but at last, I found it. What I saw…

Let me just say that if my jaw hadn’t been attached to my skull, it would have dropped straight to the floor, amidst the ‘ooh’s and ‘ahh’s of my friends. 

We were out on a stretch of land that seemed to be divided between snowy valley and rocky wasteland. Situated on the halfway point, as it were, was an absolutely enormous building! Even from this distance, it was easy to see how huge it was. It looked the size of a football stadium, maybe even bigger, but it had a roof, and seemed to be made of dark-gray stone. A massive red ribbon was stretched out between two columns in front of it. Now I knew how Gulliver must have felt in Brobdingnag, or how the Lilliputians must have felt in his presence. 

I could see a crowd already congregated outside it, the numerous dragons easily prominent among them. I tried to see if I could pick out Brutus, Minister Ironmane, or even the princesses, but I couldn’t see them yet.

“My goodness,” said Mrs. Cake.

“It’s huge!” breathed Spike.

“Yeah!” gushed Pinkie. “It’s so huge, I need a word to describe how huge it is! How about...Ooh! I know! Gigantomungous!”

Everyone stared at her, but she just smiled, apparently proud of herself.

“Brimstone Lounge,” said the guard, in the tone of a conductor announcing a station stop. “Watch your step as you exit.”

I was closest to one of the doors, and I practically tumbled out, clutching my sign. My legs felt like jelly. Dimly, I was aware that the others were making for the congregation of guests, so I followed them, bringing the deafening babble of talk closer and closer. There were many well-dressed, distinguished-looking ponies, as well as some griffons, not to mention plenty of reporters and paparazzi, but my attention was attracted by the dragons.

Some of them were even taller than Brutus, at least 20 or 25 feet. Some were a little shorter, 8 or 10 feet. The majority, however, seemed to be around his height. There were skinny dragons, round dragons, and brawny dragons. Some had wings, some didn’t. All had vibrant and diverse scale colors, and all seemed to be bipedal, or at least fairly comfortable with walking on two legs. It was just possible to distinguish the males from the females, in much the same way as one could pick out mares among stallions. Having become used to Brutus, I wasn’t as cowed by the look of them as I would have been if I had never met him, and to be fair, in spite of visible fangs and claws, none of them looked particularly threatening or ill-natured.

We were nearing this throng when I felt a pluck at my elbow. I turned, and found myself looking at a pony enveloped in a black hooded cloak. My friends were all staring at this newcomer with puzzlement and interest.

“Er, hi,” I said. “Who are you?”

The barely visible muzzle of this stranger split into a smile.

“Such a silly question, to ask of somepony like me,” they said, in a voice I thought I recognized.

It took a few seconds, but at last, it hit me, like a battering ram.

“Trixie?!”

The cloak was whisked off, and it was Trixie herself, wearing a silver dress that shone like diamonds. My friends looked nothing short of stunned, especially Twilight and Spike. Trixie reared up and threw a foreleg around me, clasping me to her side with a big smile on her face.

“Indeed, my good friend, it is I, the Great and Powerful Trixie! Surprised to see me?”

“Very!” I said. “I didn’t know you’d be here, too!”

“Trixie’s powers of prestidigitation were requested as part of the entertainment. A wise choice, if I do say so myself. My skills have been hitherto unknown to members of draconic society, though I’ve come to know they have entertainers of their own. They’re in for a real show, let me tell you.”

“No doubt,” I said, grinning.

“It’s good to see you again, Trixie,” said Twilight.

“Of course it is,” said Trixie, smugly, then added, in a more polite tone, “but it’s good to see you as well, Twilight Sparkle, and your friends. How is Ponyville faring without my presence?”

“Oh, it’s surviving,” said Twilight, with a roll of the eyes. “I’m sure you’ll be back to spice things up again one of these days.”

“In due time,” said Trixie, idly flicking her hoof. “In due time. Oh, and that reminds Trixie. She heard some pie is on the dessert menu tonight.”

Twilight’s only response was another roll of the eyes. Pinkie, meanwhile, looked eager at the prospect of pie, though, if I’d guessed right, that wasn’t why Trixie had brought it up.

At that moment, the doors to the Lounge flew open with an echoing bang. Everyone’s attention turned to them, the hubbub dying down. Through the doors came Brutus, Minister Ironmane, and one or two official-looking ponies and dragons. The first two mentioned looked in the best moods I had ever seen them in since I started working with them. Once they were all outside and in the open, Brutus opened his arms wide.

“Dragons, ponies, guests of all races, lend me your ears!” he boomed. “Welcome, welcome to the grand opening of the Brimstone Lounge!” 

There was an explosion of applause, of which we all gladly took part. Eventually, Brutus raised his claw for quiet, and silence fell again.

“For far too long, relations between our kinds have been sadly negligible. However, it is not up to us to pass responsibility or blame onto any side. Today shall go down in history as the day when dragons, ponies, all creatures of Equestria have come to a mutual understanding. I need hardly stress my gratitude and pleasure in seeing this day come to pass. When I first joined the Equestrian Foreign Relations Council, I had hoped to see peace between our kinds, but little did I expect the outcome of that hope. It fills my heart with pride.”

Another burst of applause. Now, as Brutus stepped back, Minister Ironmane stepped forward and spoke.

“I believe I speak for all of ponykind when I express equal feelings on such an occasion. We have long wished to see relations between ponies and dragons strengthened, and to see it come to fruition in my lifetime is more than I can begin to feel grateful for. However, this Lounge would not be possible without the aid of several worthy individuals. The construction, of course, comes down to the tireless joint effort between the dragon and pony task forces. These were appointed by the High Dragon’s Council and the Equestrian Foreign Relations Council, headed by Gilli Brutus and myself, who in turn work under the Dragon Lord and Princesses Celestia and Luna. They send their best wishes, as well as these gifts to commemorate the occasion, and to symbolize the new unity between our kinds.”

It was only then that I noticed a pair of tarp-covered shapes standing by. Ironmane and Brutus whisked the tarps away to reveal beautifully-carved statues. One was of a dragon, the other a pony, both made from marble, and yet the craftsmanship in both was just barely possible to distinguish. As Ironmane indicated, the pony statue came from the dragons, and the dragon statue from the ponies. The guests burst into wild applause. Looking in the crowd at this time, it was just possible to pick out my colleagues from the council, all applauding heartily.

“Next,” said Brutus, “Miss Sparkler Hooves, who not only provided the Lounge its name, but very generously provided the Lounge’s staff with the proper grounds to harvest gemstones for their recipes. Without her, we would not have the resources to make the Lounge what it is. Come forward, Miss Hooves.”

Sparkler must have expected something like this, as I couldn’t see any surprise on her face. She stepped forward amid cheers and clapping, and took her place beside Minister Ironmane. Derpy’s face was aglow with teary pride.

“And lastly, but most certainly not least,” said Ironmane, with a smile on his face, “Councilstallion David, who first came up with the idea for the Lounge itself. If not for his bright idea, debates over a peaceable settlement might still be ongoing on both sides. May this day represent peace between not only dragons, ponies, and all of Equestria, but humans as well. Step forward, David.”

I was sure my face had just caught fire, I was blushing so badly. I should have expected that I would be called up too, but my legs didn’t seem to want to listen. At last, Pinkie gave me a bump from behind to get me going, and I stumbled forward, carrying my sign, highly aware of all the eyes on me, belonging to friends and strangers alike, as they cheered me on. 

After what felt like an age, I was finally among them, Sparkler beaming at me, Ironmane and Brutus smiling at me with pride. I tried to smile too, but my mouth didn’t seem to be working properly, so it must have come out more like a grimace. I could see my friends and fellow council members waving at me, all smiling up at me. Pinkie was going particularly crazy, bouncing up and down and whistling wildly.

“What’s that you’ve got there?” Brutus asked.

Dimly, I realized he was talking about the sign. I held it up.

“S-Sign for the Lounge,” I stammered. “M-Made it myself. Friend gave me the slogan. I should have given it to Minister Ironmane a week ago, but I’d forgotten.”

I cast a glance at Ironmane, wondering if he was going to chastise me in front of this crowd. However, he simply took the sign in his magic, gently removing it from my grip, and looked it over. Brutus leaned in for a closer look, and seemed pleased. My tension started to ease up a little.

“Excellent work, David,” said Ironmane. “The time and effort you took is plain to see.” 

“I’d say so,” concurred Brutus. “And that slogan. Your friend has creativity.”

“T-Thank you, sirs,” I mumbled.

“Now, then, this will only take a moment.”

He handed the sign off to one of the unicorns standing behind him, who bent his head so that the tip of his horn touched it. Gold magic glowed from the horn and enveloped the sign. It shone brilliantly, as though it were suddenly changed to polished metal, and then it faded. The unicorn raised the sign to the eye level of one of the dragons beside him. He gazed at it for a moment, then breathed a thin stream of flames on it.

A thrill of panic and shock went through me, but a second later, I realized what he was about, as the flames vanished, and the sign was completely undamaged, not even singed. The dragon’s face broke into a smile, and he gave the thumbs-up. A new wave of applause and cheering broke out as the sign was magically affixed beside the doors. I felt about ready to faint; this was too much for me.

“Thank you, everyone,” said Brutus, finally. “This all would not have been possible with you. And now, Minister?”

Both stepped away from the crowd and up to the immense red ribbon. With a glow from his horn, Minister Ironmane drew out, from behind one of the columns supporting it, the biggest pair of scissors I had ever seen in my life. Brutus took one of the handles in his great claw, and Ironmane held the other handle in his magic. They positioned the scissors over the ribbon, and then, after a brief pause, the ribbon was snipped in two.

Someone standing far off would have thought a bomb had exploded, so deafening was the applause that followed, mostly because the dragons were so large. I should say, though, that I made my cheers and clapping as loud as I could. With the Lounge finally a reality, and to know that I’d had a hand in making it happen, it really let loose something inside me. I didn’t remember ever feeling this jubilant except at one of Pinkie’s parties.

“And now, come inside, everyone!” Brutus called over the tumult. “Today, we feast like kings and queens!”

And with a great surge, I was swept along with the rest of the crowd, as we were brought inside at long last.


***


The Lounge seemed even more massive on the inside, and we were only in the main dining room. Although the walls and floor were made of the same stone as the outside, the room had a very cozy feel to it. There were rich tapestries hanging from the walls between torch brackets, a golden chandelier, later identified as a gift from Princess Cadence and Shining Armor, hung from the ceiling, the furniture was polished to a gleaming luster, and a great, roaring fire was blazing in the fireplace in the corner. It was very welcoming after the chill outside. All of us from Ponyville were still craning our necks to take in everything, until I felt sure I was going to give myself a crick.

Most of the guests gravitated to the tables of their choice, but some had been set aside for me, my friends, and the council. Brutus, Ironmane, and my fellow council members, along with members of their families, occupied one, and the rest of us were split between two more adjoining them. Even though I was part of the council, I felt more comfortable being among my Ponyville friends. Twilight and Spike, however, had decided to join the council at their table, for two reasons, it seemed: so Twilight could talk to Ironmane, and so Spike could get acquainted with Brutus. The two were already getting along well, by the looks of it, discussing favorite gems, Brutus telling Spike about the dragon lands he helped govern, and Spike telling him about Ponyville. It was good to see the little guy getting along with a member of his own kind, especially one that dwarfed him so much. 

As for me, I’d taken the time to introduce my friends to my fellow council members, and we all got on amicably well. Cornelius, accompanied by his wife, Minerva, murmured how proud he was to see this day come in his old age. Apollo, who had brought his wife, Gwendolyn, called the Lounge ‘simply capital’, while Sure Shot, a self-professed bachelor, gave it the title of ‘cozy digs’. Eagle Eye had brought along her husband, Hawke, who looked just as militaristic as she did, Rolling Stone an elderly buffalo whom he designated as his grandfather, Steady Boulder, and Rock Solid his wife, Ramona, a minotaur as equally formidable and athletic in appearance as he was. I was even formally introduced to Ironmane’s wife, Viola, who was a very sweet-natured lady, expressing her delight in meeting a human for the first time, especially one her husband knew so well.

Trixie, meanwhile, had parted from us to get ready for her show. In the meantime, the Lounge was full of rich music. I soon found the cause of this to be Octavia and her ensemble, dressed to the nines and performing on a gilded stage. I supposed they had been booked for the occasion as well. It wasn’t just them, however. A selection of dragon musicians, with instruments in proportion to them, were accompanying them, and despite the size difference, it made no change on the quality of the music. On the contrary, it seemed to enhance it. Only at the end of the first song did Octavia notice me. I waved to her, and she smiled and winked in return.

Menus had been placed at our tables. They were quite thick, which made sense on reflection, as this place catered to dragons and Equestrians. Really, it was interesting just to see the various gem dishes that were listed. Some used actual whole gemstones, some had them ground into a powder or garnish, and some, especially the desserts, had them studded into them like chocolate chips. I could see this ‘sapphire cupcake’ Pinkie mentioned the Cakes making, among other cupcakes with different gem flavors. There was also a selection of traditional pony cuisine, the kind of stuff I’d grown used to, but something caught my eye that made both of them pop wide open.

“Fresh Seafood”

The Lounge offered fish as an option!

Fish, as in meat!

I couldn’t believe what I was seeing!

Not just typical cooking fish, either. There were shrimp dishes, crab and lobster dishes, clam chowder, you name it! I’d had no idea dragons in this world ate fish, too. I was so used to the idea of them eating gemstones.

“See something you like, Davie?” Pinkie asked.

“And how,” I said. “They’ve got seafood on the menu! I had no idea!”

“Of course,” said Brutus, who had overheard. “The Lounge is dedicated to catering to the tastes of all guests. There are certain dragons that prefer fish to gemstones.”

“And humans are generally omnivorous, are they not?’ asked Ironmane, more as a plain question, rather than an accusation.

“Well, yeah,” I said, hesitating slightly. “I mean, I’ve been all right going meatless. I just don’t want you guys to feel too weirded out if I...you know.”

“Go for it, Davie!” said Pinkie. “We’re not gonna think any differently of you from eating fish!”

“Of course not,” said Twilight. “You order whatever you want, Dave.”

Everypony else nodded and made noises of agreement. To see even Ironmane joining in was something. The last time I’d seen him this...unruffled was when the Empire had been saved.

“Take my advice, though,” said Brutus. “Order some sugar candy crystals as well. You haven’t lived until you’ve tried them.”

I grinned.

“Challenge accepted,” I said.

Eventually, a dragon waiter approached our cluster of tables.

“Good day, everyone,” he said. “My name is Felman, and I’ll be your waiter today. Have you had enough time to peruse your menus?”

Everyone made signs in the affirmative.

“Very well, then,” said Felman, taking out his notepad. “For you, sir?” he asked me.

“The fish and chips, please,” I said.

“Excellent choice, sir. And to drink?”

“Root beer.”

“Very good. And you, madam?”

Once everyone had placed their orders, and some bowls of this crystal sugar candy Brutus mentioned having been ordered as well, Felman disappeared. Other such waiters were conducting similar business at the other tables. Most of them were dragons, but I could have sworn I saw a human-sized canine dressed in a waiter’s uniform walk by. Wasn’t that a Diamond Dog?

At that moment, there was a pause in the music, the lights dimmed, and then came a drum roll. A spotlight turned our attention to a stage that had been set up. Presently, a familiar voice rent the air.

“Fillies and gentlecolts, drakes and dragons of all ages, the Brimstone Lounge proudly presents the one, the only, the Grrrreat and Powerful Trrrrixie!”

There was a poof of smoke, and there was Trixie. It looked like she was back in her old outfit, but it seemed much newer and fresher somehow, as though this was a recently made set. Everyone applauded, even the dragons.

“Trixie is honored to be given the opportunity to perform for such an audience,” she went on. “It is her job to make this historic event even more historic! But. it is even more of an honor to be a great and powerful pony performing alongside a great and powerful dragon! Yes, Trixie has great pleasure in sharing the stage with the master of sleight-of-claw, Fergus the Fantastic!”

There was another poof of smoke, and the shortest full-grown dragon I’d seen yet appeared beside Trixie. He was barely my own height, his scales as green as emeralds, with a tufty beard on his chin and a merry twinkle in his eye. This time, the dragons’ cheers were the loudest of all. It seemed this Fergus was their answer to Trixie.

“Thank you, thank you!” Fergus said, in a loud and jolly voice. “So nice to see so many fresh faces in the crowd today!” 

He clapped a claw over his brow to shade his eyes, making a big show of taking a look around.

“Dragons, ponies, griffons, couple minotaurs, some Diamond Dogs, a buffalo or two, why, even a human! How lucky are we!”

“Quite lucky,” said Trixie. “Shall we, Oh Fantastic Fergus?”

“Ready when you are, Oh Great and Powerful Trixie!”

It would go on for too long if I described everything in this joint performance. All I could say was, they complimented each other very well, especially considering I’d always thought of Trixie as a solo act. The audience was enthralled at the stuff they pulled off, both alone and as a team.

As the show was going on, our food and beverages arrived. I could hardly believe my eyes: a great hunk of fried fish, a positive mound of fries, and a big mug of root beer sat before me. The smell coming off my meal was wonderful. Not wasting any time, I cut off a piece of the fish and bit into it.

Delicious!

After going for months without meat, this was bliss! I’d almost forgotten the taste of fish, but this...This was exactly what I’d been hoping for. It was enough to make a grown man cry, and believe me, I very nearly did. 

As it was, I just dug in with gusto, occasionally popping in a sugar crystal from time to time. Those, too, were delicious. Pinkie had gotten a whole bowl to herself, and was chowing down as though she’d been starving for days, mentioning something about her sister Maud between mouthfuls. Everypony else seemed to be enjoying their meals. Spike, in particular, had ordered what looked like a pot pie, but it was filled with gem fragments. He looked like he was in heaven. Many of the dragons, Brutus included, were drinking deeply from great flagons of something that steamed visibly. The menu called it ‘Fire Brew’, a beverage so strong and hot, that only a dragon’s constitution could endure it comfortably.

When Trixie and Fergus took a break for intermission, I noticed something odd. I had seen, out of the corner of my eye, someone flitting from table to table, but I’d assumed it was just a waiter. However, now that the hubbub of the show had died down, and the lights had come back up, I could see that it was a pegasus stallion, and not just any stallion.

It was Lightwing, the pegasus who had been so rude and accusatory towards me on the way to the Crystal Empire.

None of my other friends had noticed him; they were chatting and eating away. I, however, followed Lightwing with my eyes as he made his way to a table occupied by two middle-sized dragons, male and female. I strained my ears to listen over the racket my friends were making, and I caught this:

“On a scale from 1 to 10, how subversive is the plot to unify the dragons and the ponies before taking over them both?”

The two dragons eyed him suspiciously.

“Listen, pal,” said the male dragon, gruffly, “I don’t know what plot you’re talking about. I’ve been looking forward to the opening of the Lounge ever since they announced it.”

“So have I,” said the female dragon. “I never had anything against ponies personally.”

“I see, I see,” said Lightwing. “And do you feel these relations will endure? You don’t foresee any chance of them being twisted to suit the selfish needs of one who would abuse this opportunity?”

“Yes, and no,” said the male dragon, somewhat testily. “Now, would you mind keeping it down? The show’s about to start again.”

Lightwing didn’t press them further, but looked dissatisfied. As he turned to leave, his eyes locked with mine, and never before had I seen such a look of mingled suspicion and hostility. However, he didn’t seem to dare risking a confrontation in the open, so he moved on without a word.

As much as it disturbed me that Lightwing was here, it was a comfort to hear these dragons not take him seriously. He was going to have to try harder than that. Besides, as long as he left me and my friends alone, I didn’t care what he did. Comforted with this thought, I returned to my fish and chips as Trixie and Fergus returned for the second half of their show.


***


The festivities at the Lounge lasted far into the night, and it was past midnight by the time the guests of the grand opening set off for home. We were all full, sleepy, and contented as we made our way back to the carriage, the grounds of the Lounge packed with everyone else doing the same with their conveyances, while the winged guests and dragons took flight themselves. Pinkie had grown lethargic, and asked me to give her a piggyback ride back. I wasn’t jazzed about the idea, but she gave me such pathetic puppy dog eyes that I gave in fairly quickly. It certainly didn’t help that her belly was stuffed full of candy crystals, though; I was lucky my back didn’t break before we got to the carriage. Spike had fallen asleep on Twilight’s back. Everypony else was alert enough to move on their own.

“Cheat day,” I said, trying not to topple over from Pinkie’s weight. “This was a cheat day, and a special occasion. Bon Bon can’t possibly find fault in me for this.”

“Of course she won’t,” said Twilight, reassuringly. “How’s she been lately? I haven’t seen much of her since your welcome home party.”

“I haven’t seen them all week,” I said. “Then again, I was sick for that week. Before that, Lyra sent a note saying the two of them were going to be busy getting ready for the week of Hearts and Hooves Day, so I was on my own when it came to my diet and my piano practice. That’s all well and good, but now that you mention it, they’ve been acting kind of different lately.”

“Different? How so?”

“Well, on our last walks, they just walked along side by side, without saying anything. Usually, they go at their own paces, talking about this and that. I figured it was none of my business, so I didn’t trouble myself about it. I hope they aren’t fighting again or anything.”

“Hmm,” said Twilight, looking thoughtful, but she didn’t say more.

At last, we made it to the carriage. With her magic, Twilight helped me haul Pinkie off my back and onto a seat, where she promptly fell asleep. We had all gotten in, and I was about to close the door when a voice hailed me.

“One moment, David!”

It was Minister Ironmane. His horn was lit up to light his way, surrounding him in a silverish glow of light as he came up to the carriage.

“Yes, Minister?”

“I wouldn’t have wanted you to depart without giving you your weekly dues,” he said, placing my usual weekly bag of bits into my hands as he spoke, “along with my sincerest congratulations and appreciation for your efforts.”

“I...Well,” I stammered, “I...I’m glad to have been able to help out, sir.”

“Of course,” Ironmane went on, smiling somewhat wryly, “you realize that with renewed relations, we may now glean a little more knowledge on dragons that we never had access to before. That means new research, and new research assignments. Granted,” he added, “it may take some time to get things properly settled, so you’ve no need to fret just now. This is merely a friendly word of warning.”

If I hadn’t become accustomed to this by now, I would have groaned aloud, even without the twinge in my writing hand. However, I managed a small smile in return.

“Of course, sir,” I said, finally. “Whenever that might be, I’ll do the best I can.”

“Then we can ask for nothing better,” said Ironmane. “As for my part, I feel a vacation is in order. I haven’t taken time off for quite a while..” 

“Wow,” I said. “Well, if anypony deserves time off, it’s you, Minister.”

“Thank you, David. Have a safe trip home.”

“You too, sir.”

With that, Ironmane took his leave, and I shut the carriage door. I looked around at my carriage companions. Most of them had all fallen asleep, even Mr. and Mrs. Cake. Twilight, however, was still awake. She didn’t say a word, but the smile on her face spoke volumes. Slightly embarrassed, I nevertheless smiled back. At that moment, with a slight jolt, the pegasi took to the air, and were whisking the carriage, and us, back toward Ponyville.

Monday, February 4


> Post-Grand Opening Excitement
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The news of the return of the Crystal Empire was still more or less fresh on everypony’s minds in Ponyville, but now, the whole town was positively buzzing about the opening of the Brimstone Lounge. The Ponyville Express printed it in the dining column of their very next paper on Monday, which sold like the hottest of hotcakes. Apparently, Dolly and Razzo had been present at the opening as well, though I had no idea how I hadn’t seen them, or why they hadn’t come up to me personally, not that it really mattered in the long run. They must have stayed up pretty late to crank this one out.

What did matter was that it had become widespread that the origination of the Lounge itself lay with me. After the article was printed, I was soon besieged by townsponies coming up to me while I was out and about, bombarding me with questions. How did I come up with the idea? Was the Lounge really as big as a mountain, as Dolly claimed? Were dragons really willing to be friends with ponies? Did dragons eat ponies?

It was pretty awkward, but after the mares from the flower shop woke up from their faint, I did answer their questions as best as I could, recommending for them to see the Lounge for themselves. Many seemed willing, as they announced their intention to make a reservation as soon as possible. It didn’t stop the questions, however, and I had a constant herd following me about when all I was trying to do was grocery shop. It didn’t help that Mayor Mare had caught sight of me, and I could hear her telling anypony within earshot about the part she’d apparently played in all of it. I had no doubt she meant well, but it was still irksome.

Thankfully, they left off as I went off for home, walking a little faster than normal to put a little distance between myself and these inquisitive Ponyvillians. I couldn’t remember the last time I’d wished so badly to be left alone. It felt a lot like the old days, when I’d shut myself up in my bedroom, hunched over my computer like some troll. It made me cringe to remember those times.

I’d no sooner put away the last of my groceries when there was a knock at the door. I was already plenty flustered from answering so many questions, so I’m sorry to say my response was a bit snappish.

“I’m sorry, but this isn’t a good time! Go see the Lounge for yourself, if you’re so interested!”

“I’d rather hear about it from a good friend first,” came a familiar voice, sounding slightly hurt.

It felt like an ice cube had plunged into my stomach. Rushing to the door, I threw it open to find Moonlight standing on the doorstep, looking like a child caught stealing cookies. I could have punched myself.

“Moonlight, I’m so sorry,” I said, contritely. “I didn’t mean it. Please, come in.”

She went inside and settled on the couch, and I immediately sat next to her.

“I shouldn’t have snapped like that,” I said. “I was just having to answer questions about the Brimstone Lounge all day, and, well, I got a little testy. It wasn’t fair to take it out on you, though. Can you forgive me?”

Moonlight considered me for a moment, then, to my relief, smiled that gentle smile of hers.

“Yes, I can,” she said. “I’m just sorry you’ve been so badgered. If it’s a bad time for you-”

“Moonlight,” I interrupted, putting a hand to her shoulder, “it’s never a bad time for a good friend. I’ll answer anything I can about the Lounge for you.”

From there, I launched into a full description, as best as I could give, of the grand opening. I told her about the hugeness of the place, all the dragons that had been there, the speech from Brutus and Ironmane, being called up and recognized for what I’d contributed (she smiled glowingly at how well-received her slogan was), and then about the interior, the service, the food, and the entertainment.

“Wonderful music from Octavia’s ensemble and a group of dragon musicians, and they even managed to book both Trixie and a dragon magician to perform side by side!”

Moonlight frowned slightly.

“Trixie? I feel like I’ve heard that name somewhere before…”

“Probably mentioned at one of Pinkie’s parties,” I said, shrugging. “She’s a well-known stage performer.”

Moonlight nodded, though she still looked thoughtful.

“Yeah, that’s probably it,” she said. “But this place sounds wonderful. I’d love to go see it, but I don’t know if I’d want to go alone.”

“Maybe I can find someone to go with you,” I said, “someone who also wants to go see it. If not, maybe I could go with you.”

Moonlight smiled.

“That’s very sweet of you, Dave, but I wouldn’t want you to have to go to that kind of trouble for me.”

“It’s no trouble at all,” I assured her. “But, take my advice,” I added, remembering Brutus’ words, “when you do go, make sure you order some candy crystals. You won’t regret it.”

Moonlight giggled.

“If you think so, then I’ll make sure to,” she said.

From there, the rest of the afternoon and part of the evening drifted away as we delved into Daring Do’s next thrilling adventure.

Monday, February 4


***


Finding a plus-one for Moonlight turned out easier than I expected. The next day, while out for a walk, I encountered Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy. They seemed to be arguing. Well, to put it more accurately, Rainbow Dash was speaking argumentatively, while Fluttershy seemed to be shrinking behind her mane. Neither one of them had noticed me.

“Come on, Fluttershy!” said Rainbow. “Didn’t you see what the paper said about the Lounge? It sounds amazing! Twilight told me all about it! I really wanna check it out, and what’s better than going with one of my best friends?”

“I...I’m very grateful for that, Rainbow Dash,” Fluttershy mumbled, “but I really don’t think I want to.”

“But there’s nothing to be scared of!” Rainbow said, half-encouragingly, half-annoyed. “Ponies and dragons are friends now!” 

“I know, and that makes me happy,” said Fluttershy, in a timid yet sincere tone, “but...but I still don’t think I could. You know how I get around dragons.”

“They’re not gonna hurt you,” said Rainbow, rolling her eyes. “Trust me, I’d like to see the dragon who’d try,” she added, aggressively. “He lays so much as a claw on you, and I’ll-”

“Rainbow Dash, no!” Fluttershy said, so sharply and suddenly, and with such a fierce look in her eyes, that both Rainbow and I jumped. “As much as I don’t like being near dragons, I would never ask you to do a thing like that, even for me! Don’t you remember what happened the last time you hit a dragon?”

Rainbow’s enthusiasm seemed to deflate at this. She now looked rather sheepish.

“...Had to bring that up, didn’t you?” she muttered.

“I’m sorry,” said Fluttershy, her expression softening again.

“No, no, it’s ok,” said Rainbow. “You’re right. I know I’ve done a lot of stupid things in the past, especially to you. Heck, some even recently. I mean, maybe I could’ve chosen somepony else to joust with me at the Crystal Fair, and I picked you, the last pony who’d ever think of it. Everypony else was busy with their own thing, but I should’ve asked first instead of forcing you like I did.”

I frowned slightly. I remembered the girls telling me about this when they returned from the Empire, and I hadn’t been very happy to hear about it.

“Rainbow Dash, that doesn’t matter,” said Fluttershy. “We were trying to keep the Crystal Ponies happy.”

“It still wasn’t fair to you, though,” said Rainbow. “I totally had more practice time than you did, and everything! Well, you may still need some exercise, but I’m sorry. I was being a bonehead.”

“Rainbow Dash, it’s all right,” said Fluttershy, gripping her friend’s shoulders. “I don’t think you were being boneheaded. You were being loyal to everypony in the Empire by trying to keep the fair going on. I should have tried harder myself, really. You shouldn’t beat yourself up like that.”

At last, Rainbow managed a small smile, and gripped one of Fluttershy’s hooves.

“Apology accepted,” Fluttershy smiled. “But I’m still not going.”

“Heh, figured as much,” said Rainbow. “I’ll find somepony else to go with.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. I’d still like to find something we could do together, something we both can enjoy.”

“Umm...Do you want to build snowponies?”

At first, I was worried Rainbow was going to laugh in Fluttershy’s face at such an idea. However, instead, her smile became a little broader, and she said,

“Sure, that sounds fun! I’ll make the most awesome snowpony you’ve ever seen!” she bragged. “I’ll make sure it stays standing until Winter Wrap Up, so everypony can see!” 

Fluttershy said nothing, but merely smiled.

“Let me just run some stuff home, and I’ll be at your place right after, all right?”

“All right,” said Fluttershy. “I’ll see you there. Oh! Hello, Dave!”

This last part was said as her teal eyes finally spotted me. Rainbow stiffened and caught sight of me as well. She didn’t look pleased with having been eavesdropped on, but thankfully for me, she wasn’t angry, just startled.

“Dave! Uh, heya!”

“Hi,” I said, grinning sheepishly.

There was an awkward pause, and then, the idea dawning on me at last, I said,

“You know, Rainbow, I bet Moonlight would love to go with you to the Lounge.”

Rainbow’s whole aspect changed in a second. She perked right up.

“You think so?” she asked.

“Sure,” I said. “She hasn’t been able to go, either. She had to watch Pound and Pumpkin, since both Pinkie and the Cakes went to the grand opening. Why not ask her?”

“Great idea!” said Rainbow. “Maybe I will! Thanks, Dave!”

“Anytime.”

With that, Rainbow took off, leaving me alone with Fluttershy. Her smile had faded, her eyes groundward.

“What’s the matter?” I asked.

“It’s nothing,” said Fluttershy, though it didn’t sound like nothing. “Sometimes, I just wish I wasn’t scared of so many things. I feel like I’m letting my friends down when they want to do things with me.”

She wasn’t crying, but there was a tremulous light in her eyes that went to my heart. I knelt down beside her and put a hand to her shoulder.

“It’s all right, Fluttershy,” I said, gently. “I know the feeling. There’s plenty of things I’m afraid of that keep me from wanting to do certain stuff.”

“Like what?” asked Fluttershy.

“Well, heights, for one thing,” I said. “Snakes, too.”

Fluttershy looked surprised at this.

“But snakes are so sweet and affectionate,” she said, with the passion of a true animal lover. “I know ponies are afraid of them because they slither or they have fangs, but once you get to know them, they’re just timid little creatures who want a little love.”

I didn’t want to argue with Fluttershy, but I’d have to take her word on that. I knew the saying of how some animals are ‘more scared of you than you are of them’, but it didn’t freak me out any less seeing a snake face me in a picture or on a screen with its fangs bared, about to strike. As far as I was concerned, snakes and I went together about as well as chocolate and onions.

“My point is, I know how it feels, thinking you’re taking the fun away by being afraid, but not everyone enjoys the same things. And besides that, a good friend accepts when something’s just not for you. Take Rainbow, for example. She didn’t force you to come with her to the Lounge. She accepted your reluctance, and you two arranged an alternative. She’s a good friend, even if she forgets a thing or two sometimes.”

Boy, I must have been overdue for one of these cheesy speeches. Where did they come from? It didn’t seem to matter, though, as Fluttershy’s smile was back on her face, and that made me smile.

“Thanks, Dave,” she said. “That makes me feel better.”

“You’re welcome, Fluttershy.”

“I should really get going if Rainbow Dash and I are going to build snowponies. I’ll see you later, ok?”

“All right. See you.”

Taking just a moment to give me a gentle little nuzzle, Fluttershy trotted off in the opposite direction. I’d gotten back to my feet, and she’d barely disappeared when, with a loud *Whoosh!*, Rainbow Dash appeared out of nowhere, startling me.

“It’s all good, dude!” she said, grinning. “Moonlight and I are set for a trip to the Lounge tomorrow!”

“That’s great!” I said, feeling my heart rate slowly return to normal. “I hope you guys have fun.”

“Thanks, man. Well, I’m off to Fluttershy’s. See ya!”

And with that, she zoomed off, whipping my coat about in her wake. Taking a second to smooth it back into place, I went on with my walk.


***


“So dragons and ponies are all friends now, right?” asked Caramel.

It was night, and the bowling alley was as packed as ever. I knew my teammates would want me to satiate their curiosity about the news of the Lounge. However, around them, like with Moonlight it felt more natural, since we were all friends here. Doc was absent tonight, and Meadow Song had returned, as peaceable and taciturn as ever.

“That’s right,” I said. “It’s a good first step towards ponies and dragons putting aside their differences. Plus, like Minister Ironmane said,” and here I adopted a passable imitation of Ironmane’s most pompous, clipped tones, “‘To see it come to fruition in my lifetime is more than I can begin to be grateful for. *ahem* *ahem*’”

My friends laughed, though I wondered if the real Ironmane would have been so appreciative of this sort of ribbing.

“Eeyup,” muttered Big Mac. “Times are changin’ fast these days. One minute they’re reportin’ about dragons waylayin’ mail ponies, now they’re clinkin’ glasses together in some lounge.”

“You’re not sorry for it, though, are you?” I asked.

“Eenope,” said Big Mac. “Ah’d like to see more dragons actin’ more like Spike.”

“You said it!” said Magnum. “That kid’s proof that ponies and dragons don’t always have to be biting each other’s heads off.”

“Except no one’s ever heard of a pony biting a dragon’s head off,” quipped Pearl, earning a laugh from her female teammates, though Screwball’s sounded like the notes of a trombone.

“Ahh, you know what I meant,” said Magnum, waving a dismissive hoof.

The night passed on well from there. My personal ball was helping me do much better than I was before, though, of course, there was no topping Screwball. And yet, what was even stranger was that, every once in a while, she wouldn’t get a perfect strike or spare. If she really could control where her ball went, what was the excuse there? Was she just bored of winning all the time? It seemed a reasonable hypothesis.

This was also the first I’d seen of Lyra and Bon Bon since our last walk. Both were looking in perfect health and spirits, which I was glad for. They, in turn, were glad to hear how I’d been getting on with my walking and piano practice, and were all attention to everything I had to say about the Brimstone Lounge. Bon Bon could indeed smell the fish and chips I’d had on me, but said it was hardly something to fret about. She’d heard Fluttershy saying how healthy fish were, something she ought to know from taking care of so many animals. She and Lyra weren’t acting quite as odd as they had been, though I noticed they kept stealing glances at each other when they went up to bowl. I just couldn’t see what it was all about.

From what Caramel said, plans for his and Sassaflash’s wedding were already underway, and we should expect the ‘save the date’ invitations any day now. I hadn’t attended a lot of weddings, the last one being my own sister’s. I wondered how different Equestrian weddings were compared to human ones. Well, how did non-unicorns wear their rings, for one thing? Ah well, they must have thought of a way around that. I knew weddings took a long time to actually get put together, so I’d just have to wait and see how this one played out. In the meantime, I had some bowling to do, and I couldn’t help my team if I kept spacing out.

Tuesday, February 5


***


Moonlight had left semi-early with Rainbow Dash, as it was such a long flight, so my neck of Ponyville was fairly quiet that day. I didn’t even hear a peep from Scootaloo or Dinky next door; they, Apple Bloom, and Sweetie Belle had already bombarded me with questions and gushings about the Lounge on Monday. Thankfully, I hadn’t lost my patience with them. 

That day was therefore perfectly devoted to my usual routine: walk, cook, practice piano, that kind of thing. On my walk, I even saw the fruits of Rainbow and Fluttershy’s labors in snowpony building. Fluttershy had been content with making little snow bunnies, and even a cuddly-looking snow bear, while Rainbow had made a giant snow version of herself, wings flared, forehooves on hips, chest thrown out. Of course. 

That day wasn’t exactly high with excitement or adventure, but interesting stuff couldn’t happen every day, or else there’d be nothing left for the future. ...Huh. That sounded like the sort of thing Twilight would say. I guess her stints as my teacher were rubbing off on me.

Wednesday, February 6


***


“Oh. My. Celestia. Dave, it was amazing!”

“It was unbelievable!”

At the earliest chance they had, after they were done with their respective work shifts, both Moonlight and Rainbow came over to tell me all about their time at the Lounge. Well, I say ‘came over’, but it was more like Rainbow soaring right through my window, which I’d had opened just to let some cool air in, followed by Moonlight knocking at the door like a normal pony. Once I’d gotten over that, I had them sit down and tell me all about it. By the sound of it, they’d had the time of their lives.

“So many dragons!” Rainbow said. “Last time I saw so many at once was the last migration!”

“The decor!” said Moonlight. “All those tapestries, that huge fireplace, and those marble statues! I heard the dragons made the pony one, and ponies made the dragon one! That’s so neat!”

“Real class acts, those guys,” Rainbow continued. “Of course, they obviously knew who I was, and knew better than to mess with me,” she added, rubbing her chest with her hoof in a smug way. “You shoulda seen who they booked for the entertainment, too! A three-dragon comedy troupe! I was busting a gut laughing!”

“And the food,” said Moonlight, with dreamy ecstasy.

“Aww, yeah,” murmured Rainbow. “For dragons, they really know how to whip up some good old-fashioned pony grub. And those candy crystals...Man, I just couldn’t get enough. I could hardly get up from the table after all that.”

“Me neither,” said Moonlight. “I’m so glad I ordered the champignons avec un fromage à la crème, l'artichaut et le cristal de sucre farce.”

“Well, I’m glad you two had fun,” I said, smiling, though I was momentarily stunned by Moonlight’s sudden use of Fancy. “And I have to admire your metabolisms. It sounds like you stuffed yourselves silly, but you look pretty much the same.”

“You wouldn’t say that if you saw me last night,” said Rainbow, patting her stomach. “Yeah, I burn it off pretty quick, but it still sticks with me for a bit. Learned that the hard way when I started having eating contests with AJ. It was slower going getting home. Moonlight, though, she’s the lucky one. You shoulda seen how big her meal was, and when she was all done, she looked like she hadn’t eaten at all.”

Moonlight giggled.

“I guess I just can’t get fat, at least for long,” she said. “Not even on dragon-made food. But how about you, Dave? You look like you’re getting along on your diet.”

“Yeah, slowly but surely,” I said. “I think my sick spell had something to do with it. Being forced to eat healthy to get healthy again helps, you know?”

Both pegasi nodded.

“Only a matter of time until I can go back to eating Sugarcube Corner cupcakes and Bon Bon’s candies again,” I said, with a chuckle. “Which reminds me, either of you have plans for Hearts and Hooves Day?”

“Nah,” said Rainbow. “I’m just gonna chillax at home.”

“Fair enough,” I said. “How about you, Moonlight?”

“No, not really,” said Moonlight, her cheeks briefly turning pink. “I mean, I don’t really have a special somepony. I have plenty of wonderful friends who are all very special, but...Well, you know what I mean.”

“No, no, I do,” I said. “Pinkie said almost the same thing when we were out on our day together.”

Rainbow snickered.

“Lemme tell ya something,” she said, “Equestria wouldn’t stay intact if Pinkie found her perfect match. It’d have to be somepony as crazy as she is, and I don’t think we could handle that.”

“Or it could be somepony who’s her opposite,” suggested Moonlight, “to balance her out. You know, somepony down-to-earth, like a yin and yang kind of thing.”

“Have you met her folks?!” argued Rainbow. “Anyway…”

They continued on in this way for quite a while, but I just let them carry on, simply enjoying their joint company and having them alleviate my boredom. After that, I invited Rainbow to actually join us for our joint reading session this time around.

“I’d love to,” she said, “but I’ve already gotten through the book. Frankly, I don’t trust myself not to spoil it for you. You two have fun, though. I’ll see ya later.”

Bidding us goodbye, Rainbow departed back out through the window she’d come in through. Shaking my head at her behavior, while Moonlight simply laughed, I went to get things ready for our next reading. This book was a bit longer than the others, so it might even take a third night to get through it to the end, but neither of us were complaining.

Thursday, February 7


***


Friday, like Wednesday, was largely uneventful. Well, I say that, but I’d actually achieved a substantial accomplishment. I had finally gotten ‘My Special Somepony’ memorized, and could play it easily. I would say ‘without looking’, but that might be a bit of a stretch. The point was, I was good to go for Hearts and Hooves week. However, I couldn’t get lazy. Even though I had it down, I ought to still practice it to keep it fresh.

Playing and practicing it so often had gotten its tune inextricably entangled in my thoughts. I hummed it to myself throughout anything I was doing. I hummed it when I showered, when I cooked, and when I was out walking. Ponies must have heard me, since I hummed it even when they were in earshot, but whether or not they knew what I was humming, they never let on. They’d know by next Thursday, though.

Friday, February 8


***


Saturday would have been as uneventful as yesterday or Wednesday if not for a rather odd occurrence that happened in the early afternoon. I was giving the living room a dusting when I heard a loud *clang* from outside. It came so suddenly that I dropped my dusting rag onto the floor. It had sounded like it had come from the Hooves household, and I rushed over to the window to see what it could be.

What I saw was nothing like I’d expected. Derpy had somehow managed to crash into her mailbox in a way that left her head and front legs poking out of one side, while her rump and back legs poked out of the other. How she’d managed it would have been the uppermost question in my mind, but it was contested by the fact that she must need help. Without further delay, therefore, I put on my coat and hurried out to her.

“Derpy! Are you all right?”

“Dave!” said Derpy, sounding relieved. “Thank goodness! I was worried I’d be stuck here until Sparkler or the kids came home.”

“What happened?” I asked.

“My wing cramped when I was flying home,” Derpy explained. “I lost control and crashed into the mailbox. I know you probably won’t believe this, but it’s not the first time it’s happened. It’s not just my mailbox it’s happened to, either,” she added, ruefully.

“And no one else is home to help?” I asked.

“Nopony,” said Derpy. “Sparkler had to go in today, something about a new shipment of pearls, and she’s got to sort the real ones from the false ones. Scootaloo and Dinky are out with Rainbow Dash. Who knows when any of them will be back?”

“Oh,” was all I could say.

“This week's already been kinda stressful,” she went on. “Cheerilee sent me a note about Dinky.”

“Nothing bad, I hope?” I asked.

“No, no, she just wanted to tell me about how she did on her last essay.”

Derpy’s tone puzzled me. It sounded half-complacent, half-grumpy. However, it didn’t seem right to question her about it, not when she was wedged into her own mailbox.

“Well,” I said, with a determined air, “I won’t let your kids come home to see you like this, Derpy. I’ll get you out. Just tell me how you want it done.”

Derpy’s miserable expression gave way to a grateful smile.

“Oh, thanks, Dave,” she said. “I think it might be better if I was pulled out backwards. There’s too much of me below the waist and wings to cram through the other side.”

“All right.”

I went to where her rump was poking out. There was indeed quite a bit of abdominal and posterior bulk she’d have to squeeze in if she were going out the other way, and her wings wouldn’t make matters easier, so this seemed best. I took hold of her back legs as gently, but as firmly, as I could.

“Ready?” I asked.

“Yes.”

“One...two...three!”

I gave a great tug backwards. The mailbox creaked on its stand as it bent the other way. For a second, I was worried that it was gonna snap in two from the strain. But then, fortunately, Derpy began to slide out. She was budging, at least.

“Just a little more,” I encouraged her. “Hang on.”

I gave another pull, and with a *pop*, Derpy came shooting out. I landed on my back in the snow, then felt a great pain in my torso as Derpy’s rump landed on top of me. I should have considered myself lucky that she didn’t land on my face. That would have been far more unpleasant.

“Oh no!” cried Derpy, getting off of me at once. “I’m sorry, Dave! Are you all right?”

It was an effort to get up again. The place where Derpy’s butt had landed felt like the bruise of a punch.

“Don’t worry about me,” I said, wincing slightly as I straightened up. “You’re the one who was trapped in a mailbox. Are you all right?”

“I am,” said Derpy, still looking a bit concerned for me. “Thanks, Dave.”

“You’re welcome, Derpy,” I said. “You said this happens a lot?”

“Yeah, unfortunately,” said Derpy. “So often that Ponyville’s pretty much used to it by now. I’m always getting my melon head or my bubble butt caught in some tight spot or another,” she added, lightheartedly.

“Are you just saying that because you have bubbles for a cutie mark?” I asked, wryly.

Derpy giggled.

“Yes and no,” she said. “Well, thanks again, Dave. I really do appreciate you getting me out of that one. It’s nice to have such a good friend as a next-door neighbor.”

“I feel the same way,” I said, grinning.

Derpy smiled and pulled me into a gentle hug, probably because she was worried she’d hurt me afresh if she did it too tight. Then, she made her way inside her house without further accident.

“It’s a shame,” I said to myself, as I headed back to my house. “Why does it feel like it’s always the nicest people in the world that so much bad stuff keeps happening to? Ahh, well, if she’s learned to take it in stride, why should I worry about it? She’s happy, her friends and family love her, and that’s all that ought to matter.”

Saturday, February 9

> Back to Work at Bon Bon's
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I wondered how long Ironmane’s vacation would last, and if it would affect our usual Sunday meeting. It seemed that it did, because around his usual time, I answered the door to find a royal guard standing there instead of him. I wondered if this was the same one that had been part of the carriage team to the Lounge. These guards seem to have been made in the same mold, so it was difficult to tell them apart. However, I had the sense not to say that sort of thing out loud, in case it might sound offensive.

“Councilstallion David?”

“Yes?”

“I am here to deliver your weekly dues, as per Minister Ironmane’s instructions, due to him currently being away.”

He handed me my bag of dues without the slightest change of expression.

“Thank you,” I said, simply.

“Have a good day, then, sir.”

“Er, you too.”

With stiff rigidity, the guard pulled an about-face, marched a few paces off, then took flight. I watched him disappear, somewhat bemused by this change from Ironmane’s usual visits. Ironmane himself wasn’t exactly the epitome of liveliness, but I had definitely noticed a more civil change in his demeanor as of late. These guards, on the other hand, could give Tussaud waxworks a run for their money where emotion was concerned. However, it wasn’t my business, so I let it pass and went back inside. Tomorrow was the first day of my week’s work at Bon Bon’s for Hearts and Hooves Day, and I wanted to be sure I had everything ready in preparation.

Mid-afternoon, I decided to take a walk over to Sugarcube Corner, not to order anything, but just to pop in and say hi. As usual, the smells of a dozen (or more) baked goods hit my nose as I stepped in, but something else hit my eyes. Paper hearts were dangling from the ceiling on strings, and even more were plastered to the wall. Pinkie and Moonlight were both behind the counter, bent over something the latter was showing the former. It looked like a small pile of papers. Was she showing Pinkie her story-in-progress? 

Both looked up as I entered, and Moonlight swept the papers behind the counter, her cheeks turning a brilliant shade of magenta.

“Hi, Davie!” said Pinkie.

“Hi, Dave!” said Moonlight.

“Hello, girls,” I said, deciding not to bring up what I’d just seen. “Decked the place out for Hearts and Hooves Day, I see.”

“Y-Yes!” spluttered Moonlight, clearly glad I wasn’t asking about what she’d been showing Pinkie. “That’s right.”

“Moonlight and I did it together!” said Pinkie, squeezing the slim pegasus against her pudgy side in a one-legged hug.

“Well, I started putting them up by hoof,” said Moonlight, modestly, “and then Pinkie decided to put the rest up with her party cannon.”

“I had to,” said Pinkie. “It’s been working better than ever since Doc fixed it up. Besides, it was still both of us doing it together, and that counts as a team effort!”

“She’s got you there, Moonlight,” I said, grinning, and Moonlight giggled. “Well, looks like both Bon Bon’s and Sugarcube Corner are gonna be busy this week.”

“You bet!” said Pinkie. “You helping out Bon Bon again?”

“Yep,” I said. “I mean, not that I wouldn’t want to help you guys out here.”

“Oh, we’ll be fine,” said Pinkie, breezily. “Right, Moonlight?”

“Mm-hmm!” said Moonlight, smiling. “The Hearth’s Warming crowds got really big, but we managed just fine.”

“Well, that’s good to hear,” I said. “I can practically see this place swarming with couples and lovers already.”

“That’s cuz you’re cheating with your psychic powers, you big goof,” said Pinkie, teasingly.

Moonlight looked bewilderedly at me.

“Psychic powers?” she asked.

“Don’t ask,” I muttered.

“But now that you mention it,” said Pinkie, “I think I can picture it too: mares and stallions sitting across from each other, gazing all lovey-dovey into each other’s eyes, sharing milkshakes and cookies and cakes, swapping Hearts and Hooves cards…Which reminds me,” she added, in a more business-like tone, “I hope you got yours ready, Davie.”

I blinked.

“Got what ready?” I asked.

“Your Hearts and Hooves cards, silly,” said Pinkie. “They’ve been selling like crazy over the last week or two, and the post office is probably snowed over with them again. Poor Derpy tells me all the time it’s one of their most hectic holidays, next to Hearth’s Warming.”

A slightly panicky feeling shot through me at this. Was I supposed to send out cards this year? Now that Pinkie brought them up, it seemed only right, as it would be in the spirit of the holiday. Not doing it would make me look neglectful of my friends. It wouldn’t have to be romantic, of course; just a gesture of platonic affection.

“So, er, you think there might be still some to buy?” I asked, trying to sound casual.

“If you’re lucky,” said Pinkie. “I’d hustle your bustle over to Barnyard Bargains if I were you, Davie.”

“Er, right, I’ll do just that,” I said. “I’ll see you girls later, ok?”

“Ok!” said Pinkie, brightly. “Bye, Davie!”

“Bye!” said Moonlight.

I tried to turn my exit from the bakery into a casual stroll, trying not to betray too much anxiety or worry. As soon as I judged myself far enough away, however, I broke into a run in the direction of Barnyard Bargains.


***


Unfortunately, when I arrived, the display for Hearts and Hooves cards was completely empty. A store clerk came up to me while I was staring hopelessly at it.

“Something I can help you with, sir?” he asked.

“Er, yeah,” I said. “You wouldn’t happen to still have some Hearts and Hooves cards, would you?”

The clerk stared at me for a second or two, then he suddenly burst into a fit of laughter. I felt my face grow hot with indignation, but it didn’t end there. He gestured for another clerk to come over, which he did, looking politely puzzled.

“Something the matter?” he asked.

“Th-This gentlecolt-” said the first clerk, wheezing with mirth, “-j-just asked if we-if we still had Hear-Hearts and Hooves cards!”

Now the other clerk looked astonished, and now he too started laughing. I was really starting to get ticked off now, but before I could make my objections, both of them gradually calmed down, still chuckling. Then, clearing his throat, the first one said, civilly,

“Terribly sorry, sir, but I’m afraid you should have bought them earlier. They fly off the shelves this time of year, you know. I doubt there’s even a stationer’s shop in Ponyville that has them in stock right now.”

“Oh,” I said. “Right. Well, thanks, anyway.”

“And thank you, sir,” said the second clerk. “It’s been a pretty dull day, truth be told.”

“Glad I could make it brighter,” I said, flatly.

I left the store, and in spite of what the clerk said, I trudged to the local stationary shop in the hopes of finding something there. I was unfortunately, albeit politely, rebuffed on this front, too.

“Should have bought them ahead of time, sir,” said the shop owner. “Sorry.”

Refusing to give up, I walked all around Ponyville, trying to find somewhere that might sell what I was looking for. However, after what felt like hours of searching, inquiring, and receiving negative answers, I went home in defeat, night having already fallen. This felt almost as bad as when I failed to find Moonlight a Hearth’s Warming gift in Canterlot.

When I got home, disappointed that I’d been unable to accomplish something that had felt so simple, I was all for just collapsing onto my bed and dropping off, hoping to try again tomorrow, if that was even possible. As I was shuffling off to my bedroom, however, I noticed, lying by the hall closet, a scrap of paper. 

Wondering how I’d forgotten to throw it out, I picked it up, and an idea came to me, gradually, yet vividly. How had I not seen it before? I had scrap paper and a lot of other material left over from making the sign for the Lounge! I could use that for cards instead! I could have slapped myself in the forehead for not realizing it sooner!  

I therefore spent the rest of the evening folding up paper into passable blank paper cards, and addressing them to my closest friends, those ponies I was on best terms with. This made quite a stack, however, and I only hoped Derpy wouldn’t mind such a big load being sent out at once.

Sunday, February 10


***


The next morning, I beat the familiar path to Bon Bon’s Bonbons, even though it had been a while since I’d actually been to the store itself. However, Winter Wrap Up wasn’t too far away, and I hoped I’d be able to fix this lapse in visitation afterwards. 

It seemed my temporary boss and co-worker were already there, as the door was open when I tried it. Sure enough, both were at work feverishly setting up displays of treats. The shop itself was decorated for the occasion, with red, white, and pink streamers and lace-bordered paper hearts plastering the ceiling and walls. It almost looked like Bon Bon had gotten decorating tips from Pinkie.

“Dave! Good morning!” said Bon Bon, looking up and beaming.

“Morning, big guy!” said Lyra, genially.

“Morning, ladies,” I said. “Nice decorations.”

“Aren’t they?” asked Lyra, brightly. “Bonnie and I worked hard to get this put together.”

“If by that, you mean I put everything up while you just sat around, handing it to me with your magic,” said Bon Bon, tersely.

“Still a team effort,” said Lyra, waving her hoof dismissively. “Come have a look at our Hearts and Hooves treats, Dave!”

I stepped over for a closer look. I could see chocolate bars, taffy, marshmallow treats, chocolate-covered cherries and strawberries, and more. Most, if not all of them, were different shades of pink or red, and had different ways of incorporating a heart motif into each.

“Festive,” I said, in an approving tone.

“Thank you,” said Bon Bon. “I’ve been working hard on these for the last two weeks, hence our absence. I’m sorry about that, but this had to be perfect.”

“Oh, no, no,” I said, “I completely understand. Although, if it’s not too rude to ask, what needed two weeks to perfect?”

“Glad you asked,” said Bon Bon, smirking. “It was my goal to make these treats delicious, but also healthier to eat, and now, I’ve achieved it. Dave, allow me to officially introduce you to my brand new ‘Hearts and Hooves Heart-Smart Sweets’: guilt-free eating for your body and soul.”

“Wow,” I said, impressed.

“Here, try one,” said Lyra, levitating a square piece of candy to my face. “Don’t worry,” she added, seeing the slight hesitation on my face, “it’s not gonna make you bloat up. Didn’t for me, and I taste-tested about twenty batches.”

I took the candy in my hand. It looked like a piece of taffy, striped red and pink. I sniffed it, then popped it into my mouth. It was nice and chewy, and tasted like a mix between apples and strawberries.

“Mmm! That’s good stuff,” I said, swallowing.

“And that’s just the taffy,” said Lyra, grinning. “You ought to see Bonnie at work, Dave. This girl does things with chocolate you’d never think possible.”

“Lyra, please,” said Bon Bon, blushing modestly. “We shouldn’t be dawdling like this. We’ve got a shop to run.”

“Right you are,” said Lyra, briskly. “Here, Dave, you’ll need this.”

And she magically tossed me a folded bundle of clothing. Unfurling it, I found it to be my old work apron. My spirits dropped slightly. I’d almost forgotten about having to wear this thing.

“Kept it in good condition for when you came back, buddy,” said Lyra. “I know how much you loved wearing that.”

“I’m touched,” I said, dryly, which only seemed to increase Lyra’s humor.

Monday, February 11


***


Despite my misgivings on having to wear an apron in public again, the day went well. In fact, so did the following two. The store became busy tending to ponies who were looking for something perfect for their sweethearts. There were giggly, blushing mares, awkward stallions, and even shy little foals. These were the most adorable of all: ponies still so young, yet wishing to get something for somepony they cared about.

One of these was Sweetie Belle, who, on Tuesday, bought a chocolate heart for Button Mash, as a gift from a friend, as she claimed.

“Is that right?” I asked, casually.

“Yep!” said Sweetie Belle, quickly, and smiling a little too widely. “Me and Button Mash have always just been friends!”

I raised an eyebrow.

“I never said you weren’t,” I said.

Sweetie Belle’s cheeks went crimson.

“Well, we are,” she insisted. “I like him, but not like like.”

I couldn’t help smirking. However much she wanted to hide it, Sweetie Belle seemed to have been struck with a case of puppy love. Still, her and Button Mash? I knew him from the Junior Derby and that snowball fight at Fort Hooves, but I’d never even imagined the possibility.

“If you say so,” I said. “But I can’t help but wonder what Rarity would think of this: her little sister buying Hearts and Hooves chocolate for a classmate.”

“If you tell her,” Sweetie Belle whispered, angrily, “I’ll...I’ll…”

“Oh, come on,” I said, placatingly, “would I do that to a fellow Crusader?”

Sweetie Belle glared at me for a second or two, then her face softened.

“No,” she said. “I didn’t think you would. You’ll keep it a secret?”

“Pinkie Promise,” I said, solemnly, crossing my heart and covering my eye with one hand, though I could have sworn I also heard a very distant, and familiar, voice say, ‘Forever…’

Sweetie Belle smiled, handed over her bits for the heart, and I passed it along to her in a bag. Instead of taking it in her teeth, she screwed up her face and stared intently at it, her horn beginning to spark. A faint, greenish glow surrounded the handles. I watched, intrigued, as Sweetie Belle, her tongue poking out from concentration, managed to slowly hoist the bag into the air, her aura flickering slightly. She beamed.

“Good job!” I said. “Twilight’s doing?”

“Uh-huh,” she said. “She started teaching Dinky and me after we tried skeet shooting. I can only move little stuff, but Twilight said it’s a good start. If I keep it up, I can move on to bigger objects.”

“Sounds good,” I said. “It might even get you a step closer to your cutie mark.”

“I know!” said Sweetie Belle, sounding delighted. “Well, I’d better get going. Bye, Dave!”

“See ya.”

And Sweetie Belle trotted off, her purchase still grasped in her magic, her smile as bright as the sun.

“You know, only you Pinkie Promised.”

I jumped. I hadn’t noticed Lyra standing beside me, a sly grin on her face.

“What are you implying?” I asked, suspiciously.

“Oh, just that you’re the only one not allowed to tell Sweetie Belle’s secret,” said Lyra. “Whereas I, who made no such promise, am at full liberty to-”

“Don’t you dare,” I said, sharply. “She’ll never forgive me if it gets out!”

“Correction: she’ll never forgive me,” said Lyra, shrewdly. “You, on the other hoof, would be completely innocent, since you never said a word about it.”

“That may be,” I conceded, grudgingly, “but that still shouldn’t mean-”

“Come on, dude, I’m only joking,” said Lyra, poking me in the ribs with her elbow. “I wouldn’t seriously do that to a friend.”

“Oh,” I said, relieved. “Good. I hoped you weren’t like that.”

“Didn’t stop you from telling strangers I used to wear glasses,” called Bon Bon from her office.

“Aw, what does that matter?” asked Lyra.

“It matters because you told them I looked like ‘an absolute dork’.”

“Oh, pfft,” scoffed Lyra. “I meant it in the nicest of ways. Besides, you were a dork.”

(And here they go again. I was starting to miss this, actually.)

Tuesday, February 12
> Hearts and Hooves Day
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day, Spike came in, lugging a small but bulging bag of bits with him. He plopped it purposefully onto the counter.

“I’ve been saving up for this,” he said. “One Hearts and Hooves Choco-Box Deluxe, please.”

“Coming right up,” I said.

Behind the counter was a small stack of Bon Bon’s Choco-Box Deluxes, specially crafted for the holiday with her Heart-Smart Sweets. It had been a lot bigger, but they’d been purchased like mad over the course of only a couple of days. Caramel had been among those in a scramble for them, buying one for his fiancee, Sassaflash. I grabbed one of these and set it down for Spike.

“Who’s the lucky lady?” I asked, though I felt it was kind of obvious who.

“Rarity,” said Spike, predictably, in a dreamy sort of voice. He added, hastily, “J-Just as a gift from a friend, you know?”

I couldn’t help grinning. Sweetie Belle wasn’t the only one trying to fool me, it seemed.

“Whatever you say, Spike,” I said, as I counted out the cost from Spike’s bag, then handed him back the remainder.

“Thanks, Dave,” he said, and he scurried out of the shop, the box clutched against his chest, and an eager, gleeful look on his face.

“That kid really needs to learn a thing or two about subtlety,” said Lyra, once again popping up at my side.

“Aw, come on,” I said, reasonably. “I think it’s adorable. Still, maybe he’d stand a better chance with someone his own age.”

“You read my mind, my bipedal friend,” said Lyra, winking.

I raised an eyebrow.

“That was your thought too?” I asked. “Really?”

“Of course,” said Lyra, tapping her forehead with her hoof. “My mind works in ways you can’t even imagine, Dave.”

“Which would make reading it all the more terrifying,” quipped Bon Bon from her office.

I couldn’t help snickering. Lyra just stuck her tongue out towards the office door.

Wednesday, February 13


***


Hearts and Hooves Day dawned clear and cool, and by that, I mean less cold than usual. It felt as though the warmth from the hearts of those celebrating today had somehow got mixed into the atmosphere. Of course, any meteorologist back home would have laughed at the idea, and simply said it was because winter was winding down. Then again, how often did the meteorologists back home sculpt the snowflakes, or shove an errant warm front into place?

That wasn’t the only thing I pondered, however. Remembering what today was made me remember my girlfriend back home, so vividly that I paused in the middle of getting dressed. I could just see Leanne now, in my mind’s eye. She was a head shorter than me, her hair blonde and shoulder length, her face rosy and sweet-natured. She was patient, she was fun-loving, she was hilarious. She always knew how to make me smile, and she never stayed mad at anyone for long. I felt lucky that someone like her loved me, and now…

Even with the letter I had sent to my parents explaining what had happened, asking them to tell her, I wondered what she was up to now. Hopefully, she wasn’t stressing herself out over me, but even so, remembering her now, on today of all days, made my insides clench, and a tear rolled from each eye down my cheeks.

(Someday, sweetie, I’ll show you how wonderful Equestria is. I promise.)


*** 


When I arrived at Bon Bon’s, having recovered myself gradually on my way over, and bringing the sheet music to ‘My Special Somepony’ with me, it was to find that a piano, perhaps their own, had been set in a corner of the shop, and there seemed to be a lot more tables and chairs set up. It was nothing to Lyra and Bon Bon themselves, though. They were standing close together at the counter, broad smiles on their faces. It was a little unnerving, to be honest.

“Morning, Dave!” they said, in unison.

“Er, good morning,” I said. “Happy Hearts and Hooves Day.”

“You too!” said Lyra.

There was a pause, during which both mares continued to beam at me. None of them seemed about to break the silence, and I was beginning to wonder what the heck was going on. This was the kind of silence that jump scares lived for. I cleared my throat, awkwardly.

“Well, shall, uh, shall we get going, then?”

“Actually, Dave,” said Bon Bon, “there’s something we need to tell you first.”

“We’ve been wanting to for a while, but now seems like the best time, considering,” said Lyra.

I stared at the pair of them. What were they talking about? Bon Bon cleared her throat.

“Lyra and I…”

“Are special someponies!” finished Lyra, throwing a foreleg around Bon Bon and hugging her close.

If I’d been staring before, it was nothing compared to now. My mouth fell open as well, so that I must have looked like the biggest buffoon alive. It took some time for my power of speech to function properly.

“Y...You mean...You...and you...You two are…”

“Mm-hmm,” said Bon Bon, her cheeks going crimson, but she was smiling in a serene way.

“Daww, isn’t she cute when she blushes?” teased Lyra, nuzzling one of those blushing cheeks.

“Lyra!” Bon Bon scolded, though it was marred by the fact that she was giggling.

“How...how long has this been going on?” I asked.

“Ever since Lyra got me over my case of the grumps last month,” said Bon Bon. “After you left, I, well, both of us realized something. We’d been single for so long, looking out for our special someponies, but we’d had them all along. We had each other, sappy as that sounds.”

“So Bonnie and I are a couple,” said Lyra. “Whaddya think, Dave?”

I blinked. This was why they’d been acting so odd lately? The silences, the closeness, the looks exchanged...it all made sense now!

“What do I think?” I asked. “I think that’s great! Congratulations!”

Both smiled at me.

“Thank you, Dave,” said Bon Bon. “As our part-time coworker and dear friend, your support means the world to us.”

“Yeah, man,” said Lyra. “Just don’t feel too weirded out if Bon Buns and I get all lovey-dovey around you.”

I couldn’t suppress a snort of laughter. ‘Bon Buns’?

“Lyra!” Bon Bon chided, her cheeks going red again.

“Oh, shush,” said Lyra. “You didn’t make such a fuss when I first came up with it.” 

“That’s because it was just us two at the time,” grumbled Bon Bon.

“Hey, Dave deserves a bit of what he’s got to expect,” said Lyra. “Better than springing it on him out of nowhere.”

Bon Bon’s mouth worked, as though she were holding back on some fiery retort. Lyra, however, looked unfazed. In fact, she kissed Bon Bon right on the cheek. The candy mare’s snout crinkled, looking even more like she was about to explode. I braced myself for the tirade. At last, she sighed.

“Lyra Heartstrings, you’re an insufferable mare-child sometimes,” she said, resignedly.

Lyra looked completely unabashed by this. Then, Bon Bon’s features relaxed into a tender smile as she hugged Lyra.

“But I wouldn’t want you any other way,” she said, kissing her on the cheek in turn.

Even as my body relaxed, knowing no verbal outburst was coming, I still couldn’t believe it. Lyra and Bon Bon were a couple now? Well, they certainly bickered like an old married one all the time, and yet, even I could see just how close they really were. It made me feel warm and happy inside to see them so happy.

“Oh, goodness, look at the time!” said Bon Bon, looking up at the clock on the wall. “We’d better get going! Dave, I don’t want to sound presumptuous, but do you have something ready to play?”

“Yes, ma’am,” I said, holding up the sheet music for her to see.

“Wonderful!” she said. “Well, I’m sure everypony will appreciate it.”

“Of course they will, Bonnie Buns,” said Lyra.

“Lyra!”

“What?” asked Lyra, innocently. “I didn’t say ‘Bon Buns’, did I? I said ‘Bonnie Buns’. Totally different.”

Bon Bon merely sighed and shook her head, her cheeks still scarlet. I went to go put my music at the piano, turning away so as not to show her the amused smile on my face. Even after such a big change, it looked like some things never would change.


***


The shop was busier than I ever remembered it. However, as the day went on, customers didn’t simply go in, buy, and then head off again. Many couples lingered at the tables, seated either across from each other, so they could gaze into each other’s eyes, or right beside each other, so they could sit with forelegs around each other, their heads resting on their partner’s shoulders. It was very sweet to see, and I kept getting distracted during work because I was watching some mare getting cuddly with her mate. No one in Pinkie’s closest circle of friends was here today, though, not even Rarity or Spike.

Lyra seemed to be even sillier than usual today. Perhaps having finally confessed being in a relationship with her best friend had given her a feeling of freedom. She was cracking jokes, laughing easily, and ribbing Bon Bon more than even I felt was common. However, that same sense of freedom seemed to have relaxed Bon Bon as well, as she was taking Lyra’s behavior much more patiently than before. In fact, she was laughing pretty easily as well, as though both mares had taken a good long gulp of Golden Griffon Wine before work. I didn’t bother much about it, though. They were happy, and their good moods were infectious on me; I was practically all smiles all morning.

Around noon, Bon Bon walked out into the middle of the seating area and cleared her throat. Unfortunately, the chatter of the couples didn’t die down.

“Attention!” she called. “Attention, everypony!”

It was no good. Her voice was drowned out in the buzz of conversation. I was about to go and assist her when Lyra beat me to it. Her horn flared briefly, and she said, in a magically-magnified voice,

“Hey, lovebirds! Quiet down for a sec, will ya? Bonnie’s got an announcement!”

That did the trick. Everypony looked up. Lyra beamed toothily, apparently pleased with herself.

“Thank you, Lyra,” said Bon Bon.

“You’re welcome!”

We all cringed. Lyra’s voice was still magnified, and was even louder in the silence. Clapping a hoof to her mouth in surprise, Lyra’s horn flared again, and she said, in her normal tone,

“Sorry ‘bout that.”

Bon Bon rolled her eyes, then addressed the patrons.

“Happy Hearts and Hooves Day, everypony,” she said. “It’s wonderful to see so many of you here, spending the day with your special someponies. I wanted to mark today with a special treat. Our good friend and part-time coworker, Dave, has agreed to play a song for all of you.”

There was an outbreak of applause, all eyes on me. Blushing slightly, I nonetheless smiled and waved.

“So, Dave, if you would, please,” said Bon Bon, gesturing to the piano.

“With pleasure, boss,” I said.

I stepped over to the piano, sat down, and opened up my sheet music. Aware as I was of everypony’s eyes facing me, I nonetheless cracked my knuckles preparatory to playing, then struck a few opening notes.

“This one,” I said, turning to the audience and grinning, “goes out to you ponies who’ve had to earn love the hard way.”

There was a smattering of laughter, and of applause. Taking a deep breath, I started playing, and started singing. As I proceeded, I became aware of the tuneful playing of a lyre, and noticed Lyra sitting beside me, her instrument levitating beside her, a broad grin on her face. She’d decided to join me, and I was more than grateful for that. She also seemed to have found time to read over the song herself, as she lent her voice to the performance as well.

I shall never forget
The day we first met
It sticks rather clear in my mind
I was staring quite deep
You called me a creep
And kicked me in the behind

The audience laughed at this, and Lyra and I smirked at each other.

So perhaps I was daring
To do so much staring
I’m a bold colt, what can I say?
But don’t try to maim me
I mean, can you blame me?
You’re the prettiest I’d seen any day!

At the chorus, I began to sway a little back and forth, soaking in the slower melody of it. Lyra tossed a few roses through the air with her magic, to the surprise and delight of the audience.

(Chorus) My special somepony
Light of my life
Comfort in my darkest times
Reliever of my strife
My special somepony
Closest to my heart
Forever may we be as one
And never may we part

There was a collection of ‘aww’s from the crowd, though I couldn’t turn around to see their expressions. I couldn’t lose focus.

My heart was on fire
I was full of mad desire
To name you the pony for me
Though at first, you rejected
Your staunchness I respected
‘Cuz it helped bring a change in me

I concede, I was crazy
And even I amaze me
At the boneheaded things I would try
All the tricks, all the stunts
That kept me laid up for months
All done just to meet your eye

More chuckles and giggles from the crowd.

Though you scorned and you taunted
I was not to be daunted
I was determined to win your heart
I bought gifts, I sang songs
Pledged to right all my wrongs
But you still wished to keep apart

(Chorus)

Here, my playing slowed a bit more, and the tune took on a more sober, somber air, befitting the lyrics that followed.

I was causing you strain
As one day, you made it plain
Exactly what you thought of me
‘You’re obnoxious! You’re loud!
You’re pig-headed and proud!
What good in you can any mare see?’

My heart smote me sore
At your words, and what’s more
I could see the truth in what you said
I thought I’d played my part
By acting from the heart
But I’d been playing a fool instead

There was a pause, as I let the notes and words of this last verse sink in. Silence fell.

Then she said:

Here, Lyra and I returned to the melody of the chorus with new vigor, and the atmosphere changed in an instant.

“My special somepony
It's been the fight of my life
These have been the best of times
Want me as your wife?
My special somepony
Closest to my heart
Forever may we be as one
And never may we part"

As I played out the final notes, and Lyra strummed her lyre for a final time, I crooned, slowly,

“Forever may we be as one
And never may we part”

Before the last notes died away, the shop became full of wild applause, cheering, and whistling. I turned to look at the patrons. Throughout, I could hear them chuckling or going ‘aww’ at the lyrics, but I hadn’t been able to see what they were up to. Now I could see that several were sitting huddled with their partners, their heads nestled together, clasping hooves, tears in their eyes. One or two were even kissing. Bon Bon merely beamed at the pair of us. Smiling, I stood up to address everypony. Lyra stood up too, bowing to every corner of the shop.

“Thanks, everypony,” I said, and they gradually quieted down. “This is the first Hearts and Hooves Day I’ve ever witnessed, even though we have a similar holiday back where I come from. It really makes me glad to see so much love today, as sappy and sentimental as that might sound. I’m glad to do my part, if it makes this day just a little brighter. Happy Hearts and Hooves Day, everypony.”

There was another burst of applause. Lyra winked at me, grinning. I bowed, and made my way back behind the counter to get back to work.


***


That evening, the three of us closed up shop together. It had been a great day. I’d been asked to play ‘My Special Somepony’ a few more times, partly because some ponies came in that hadn’t been around before, and I was more than happy to oblige. I’d never considered myself the greatest singer in the world, but nopony seemed to mind, nor even drew attention to the fact. Lyra and Bon Bon had been in the best moods I’d seen them in in a long time. Other ponies seemed to have caught on to their new status as a couple, but no verbal remark gave confirmation to this, merely knowing looks.

Bon Bon handed me a bag of bits that, while not as hefty as my weekly stipend, still jangled generously.

“Thanks, Dave,” she said, warmly. “You’ve been a big help this week. I know it wasn’t a full week’s work, but it still means a lot to us.”

“Yeah, thanks, bud,” said Lyra, rearing up and cuffing me on the shoulder.

“I’m just glad to help out,” I said, smiling. “And congratulations again, you two. I just wish I’d realized it sooner.”

“Ahh, don’t blame yourself,” said Lyra. “‘Subtlety’ is my middle name.”

“Then your first name ought to be ‘I-Lack’,” said Bon Bon, dryly.

Lyra merely stuck her tongue out at Bon Bon, who rolled her eyes. 

“Oh, wait!” Lyra said, suddenly. “I almost forgot! Here ya go, Dave: a little bonus!”

She handed me a vinyl record. I looked from it to her, puzzled.

“A record?” I asked.

“With you, well, us, singing on it!” said Lyra, proudly.

“Really?” I asked, surprised. “You recorded this while we were playing? I didn’t even notice!”

“That’s just how I roll, my friend,” said Lyra, smirking. “We Heartstrings’ work in ways nopony can fathom.”

“That’s for sure,” said Bon Bon, dryly.

“Wow,” I said, genuinely impressed. “Thanks, Lyra.”

“You’re welcome, buddy. Just don’t be a stranger once Winter Wrap Up’s over, all right?”

“Oh, trust me,” I said, smiling. “Popping in here is at the top of my list of things to do once that time comes.”

Both Bon Bon and Lyra beamed. On that note, we parted, and I made my way back home, the bag tucked away in my pocket, and the record held securely inside my coat, my thoughts preoccupied. 

I had begun to wonder what would happen when I finally did get the chance to go home. How could I even begin to describe what I’d been through to my family, to Leanne? What could I share with them about my time here in Equestria? How would they react, knowing I had become a member of a foreign relations council and assisted in establishing ties between ponies and dragons? How would they even take knowing I’d spent so much time among ponies who were as intelligent as humans? Well, one thing was for sure: I’d keep this record for Leanne, as a gift for her when we met again at last.

I also wanted to see as much of Equestria as I could while I was here. Living in Ponyville was very peaceful, but I’d only ventured beyond it to a few other places: Canterlot, Cloudsdale, the Pie farm, and the Crystal Empire. I’d often imagined what it would be like to visit other countries back on Earth, see what they were like. Getting to know my fellow council members, and helping Cranky with his travel brochures, had gotten me interested in what else this kingdom had to offer. I’d have to find time to plan out trips to Manehattan, Fillydelphia, Appleloosa, heck, maybe even the Griffon Kingdom. The possibilities excited me, as much as the future workload for the council, in the wake of the return of the Crystal Empire and the opening of the Brimstone Lounge, intimidated me.

I was jerked out of my thoughts by the sight of my mailbox. It was crammed full of mail, a mass of red and pink. Before doing anything about that, however, I went inside, stowed my earnings and the record safely away, then returned. Gingerly, I opened the lid, half-expecting it all to come shooting out like water from a hose, but all that happened was that one or two slipped out and fell toward the snow. I caught them in time, then began to remove the rest, so that my arms were full of letters, and I was only barely able to get the door open. 

Once inside, I laid them out on the kitchen table and leafed through them. I smiled as I realized they were all Hearts and Hooves cards from my female friends. Pinkie’s was the most noticeable, being exceptionally bright and gaudy, and with a cute little poem inside.

“He’s 6 feet tall with eyes brown like chocolate
And hair as black as licorice too
He’s helpful and funny, and sweet, just like honey
Who am I talking about? You, that’s who!
Happy Hearts and Hooves Day, Davie!
Love, Pinkie Pie”

Smiling, I returned to the pile, and found Moonlight’s within view. It didn’t contain a poem, but it was still very touching.

“Happy Hearts and Hooves Day
To the human who helped me weather the storm
You’ve helped me in more ways than I could have dreamed of
And we’ll always be the best of friends
Love, Moonlight”

There were also cards from Twilight, Applejack, Rarity, Rainbow, Fluttershy, the Hooves family, Lyra, Bon Bon, and my fellow Crusaders, even ones from Zecora (written in rhyme, of course), Screwball (written with the letters of each word swapped about, which took quite a while to decode), even, to my slight surprise, Silver Spoon. Nothing huge, just wishing me a happy Hearts and Hooves Day. It made me wonder if she and Diamond Tiara really were starting to change their attitudes, even though they’d never been hostile or very rude towards me personally. We’d just have to see, I supposed.

Something caught my eye as I was rifling through them all. One of them looked distinctly different: a white card among the sea of red and pink. Pulling it out and opening it up, I discovered that it was an RSVP for Caramel and Sassaflash’s wedding, which was set for September 1st. I knew Caramel said to expect the invitations soon, but I hadn’t figured he’d meant this soon. Well, I made a mental note to reply, next chance I had, that I would be there, and to make a reminder of the big day on my calendar.

I carefully stacked my cards and set them aside in a safe spot. Giving the stack another fond smile, I started to get dinner ready. 

Thursday, February 14

> A Brief Lull
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I had another bizarre dream that night. It started out with me sitting at my piano, dressed in a tuxedo, and playing, appropriately enough, Billy Joel’s ‘Piano Man’. As I played, solid musical notes flew from the top of the piano and floated off, like dandelion seeds on the wind. As they went off, I could’ve sworn I saw Derpy amongst them, wearing a mailbox around her barrel, like some kind of boxy metal girdle.

It was hard to concentrate, however, because Lyra and Bon Bon were having an argument. Apparently, Lyra, who for some reason had to use a megaphone to be heard, had made a batch of what she called ‘Bon Buns’. Bon Bon, wearing a pair of coke bottle glasses, was refusing to let Lyra sell them, as Lyra had supplanted a picture of her (Bon Bon’s) rump beside the name on the packaging.

Off in another corner, Moonlight, Pinkie, and Rainbow were gorging themselves on bowls of Brimstone Lounge crystal candies, the latter two with visibly bulging bellies, while Moonlight remained as thin as ever. Trixie was waltzing with Fergus the Fantastic, while Button Mash, dressed like Link from Legend of Zelda, was sword-dueling with Minister Ironmane, dressed like Ganondorf, while Sweetie Belle, dressed like Zelda, watched, wide-eyed, and with her hooves over her mouth. Meanwhile, Rarity, decked out like Cleopatra, was reclining on a sofa, while Spike, garbed like an attendant, was alternating between fanning her with a palm frond and dropping chocolates into her mouth, as though they were grapes.

I had no sooner finished playing when, in a puff of smoke, Leanne appeared beside me, sitting on the piano bench. I was so stunned that words failed me. Looking about at everypony doing their thing, she turned to me with a raised eyebrow. 

“Is this what Equestria’s like, Dave?” she asked.

I grinned sheepishly, but then, her face split into a wide smile.

“Because I like it!” she said.

A wave of relief swept through me at this. Taking her in my arms, I leaned forward, lips prepared, as she did the same.

And then I woke up. 

Darn it. Wasn’t that always the way? Right at the best part. Blinking against the sun filtering in through the windows, I had only one thing to say:

“I wonder what Luna would say about that one, if she even saw it.”

As I got up and went about my morning routine, I wondered what I ought to do today. I wasn’t working with Bon Bon and Lyra anymore (and had not been told if they planned to continue the diet routine with me), I had no work for the council (yet), no other pending pet projects or engagements with friends, not even a Crusade planning session with the Crusaders. I had nothing to look forward to but my daily walk.

However, as I got dressed after showering, an idea dawned on me. It happened when my right hand gave an unpleasant twinge, making me wince. It had never felt quite right after all of the work I’d had to do for the council, and as it was my dominant hand, using it so much for day-to-day stuff wasn’t making the dormant soreness go away any quicker. As I reflected on this, that’s when the idea came to me, and I knew what I wanted to do today.

I needed to find someone who could help me alleviate the pain once and for all. The only question was, who should I seek for that kind of help? It ought to be someone who must know what it’s like to have hand cramps. Well, that ruled out almost everypony in Ponyville; they all had hooves.

Hold on a second.

It ruled out everypony, but it didn’t rule out everydragon!


***


“Me? I was the first one you thought of?”

Spike and I were sitting at the main table in the middle of the library. Twilight was upstairs, deeply engrossed in a book, though she had the time and courtesy to bid me a good morning before excusing herself. The little dragon looked both confused and self-important at knowing that I was coming to him for advice.

“You’re the only one in Ponyville who can understand what I’m going through, Spike,” I said. “You write for Twilight all the time, so you must have gotten writer’s cramp before.”

“Ugh, more times than I can count,” muttered Spike, nursing his wrist almost automatically. “I mean, don’t get me wrong: I like helping Twilight out, but have you seen the size of some of her checklists? I have to write and check off everything on them! I think I’ve written more than Star Swirl the Bearded!”

“Yeesh,” I said, grimacing. “So, what do you do when your hand-er, claw’s aching?”

“Oh, that’s easy,” said Spike, grinning. “I ask Twilight for a little time off so I can take a trip to the spa. One massage later, and I’m back in the game, baby.”

Of course!

Why hadn’t I thought of it? It was as simple as a trip to the Ponyville spa.

To be honest, I couldn’t believe I’d gone so long without returning, especially in light of all the aforementioned work I’d been engaged in. Well, that settled it. This afternoon, I was going to take a trip to the spa for the same treatment Rarity had treated me to on my first visit. I was already looking forward to it.

“Thanks, Spike,” I said, gratefully.

“Don’t mention it,” said Spike, proudly. “Guys like you and me have to stick together, after all.”

“Heh, too true,” I concurred.


***


It was wonderfully warm when I entered the reception area and took off my coat. The sweet smell of aromatherapy candles assailed my nostrils. At the moment, there didn’t seem to be anyone else besides me, except for one pony at the counter. Aloe, the pink-coated spa attendant, was behind the counter, attending to them.

“Your usual today, Mrs. Rich?” she asked.

“But of course,” said the customer. “Why would somepony like me ask for anything less but the best, and from the best?”

Something about that mare’s tone didn’t sit well with me. It was grand and sophisticated, and yet there was unmistakable smugness in it. Judging by the diamond ring cutie mark on her flank, she also must’ve had a heck of a lot of money to burn.

That mare must’ve sensed I was looking at her flank, as she turned to look at me, her eyebrow raised, and I got a good look at her. She had a salmon-pink coat, blue eyes, and an extensively-styled purple mane and tail. She wore a gold chain necklace, a sea-green blouse, and a golden belt around her middle. 

However, if I might be frank, she wasn’t exactly what I would call ‘pretty’. There were lines under her eyes, the signs of a double-chin, and her nose...Good Lord, her nose! I knew the stereotype of snooty people putting their noses in the air, but this was ridiculous! It was literally curved upwards, like a rhino’s horn, as if someone had grabbed it and twisted it backwards into that shape. 

“Tut-tut,” she chided, with a shake of the head and twitch of the tail. “It’s not gentlecolt-ly behavior to stare at a mare’s flank, my good sir, especially at that of a married mare.”

“O-Oh, no, miss!” I stammered, my face growing hot. “I-It’s not like that at all! I was j-just seeing what your c-cutie mark was!”

She continued to gaze steadily at me, then her muzzle curled into a small smile.

“Then I don’t blame you,” she said. “It is rather stunning, isn’t it? Then again, what else would you expect to adorn the flank of a pony such as myself?”

That smug tone was back once again, and it made my skin crawl. However, looking at her, I realized who she was. She was the mare standing with Diamond Tiara and Filthy Rich during my speech!

“Begging your pardon, miss,” I said, “but you wouldn’t happen to know Filthy Rich, would you?”

That small smile of hers widened a little, and she gave her mane a prim toss.

“Know him? I have the pleasure of being his wife. Spoiled Rich is my name.”

“Charmed,” I said, humbly.

 “And you are Councilstallion David, are you not?”

“Y-Yes, Miss Rich,” I said.

“My daughter, Diamond Tiara, has spoken of you before.”

“Has she?”

“Oh, yes. She tells me you’re a fair-minded young man, and yet,” she added, her smile fading a little, “I can’t help but pity your choice in company.”

What did she mean by that?

“I beg your pardon?” I asked, still trying to be polite, but feeling a surge of anger at this.

“Oh, nothing,” said Spoiled Rich, casually. “I merely wish to say that, as a member of the royal council, it would be beneficial to surround yourself with those befitting your station and standing, such as myself. Believe me, my dear fellow, a mare of my standing could do wonders for your future achievements. I have connections, you know. I can put you in touch with the most prolific ponies in Equestrian high society. You know Fancy Pants in Canterlot? A dear friend of mine, never too busy to come down and ask me for investment advice. I practically made his fortunes for him, didn’t you know? In this life, it’s not what you know, but who you know.”

Before I could properly respond to such a grandiose (and quite frankly, self-centered) speech, Aloe said,

“All right, Mrs. Rich, right this way.”

“Good day, Councilstallion,” said Spoiled Rich, giving me a smile I did not like. “Consider what I said. Let me know when I can set you up for a consultation.”

And she passed through the door leading to the rest of the spa. I just stood there, staring after her, unsure what to think. I’d thought that Lightwing was hard to listen to, but this woman was on a different level. I supposed this might explain why Diamond Tiara acted so high and mighty all the time; like mother, like daughter.

“Mr. Dave?”

I started. Aloe had returned, and was looking at me with polite curiosity.

“Ah! Er, right,” I said, stepping forward. “Sorry about that. I’d like the same treatment I received on my last visit. I realize it’s been a while,” I added, sheepishly, seeing Aloe look puzzled. “It was a steam, massage, mud dip, and a soak in the hot tub.”

“Ahh, yes,” said Aloe. “No problem at all. Right this way to get changed, Mr. Dave.”

Aloe gestured to the door she had just led Spoiled Rich through, and I walked on through, hoping I wouldn’t have to run into her again. Even if not for the impression she left on me, it would be like saying goodbye to someone, then leaving, only realizing you’re both going the same direction. I hated when that happened.



***


“Ohhhh...Ohhhh, man...Lotus, you can not believe how badly I needed this…”

I was in heaven. Well, to be more specific, I was lying on a recliner, in my swim trunks, as Lotus’ hooves kneaded my muscles, post-steam room. The best part, however, was when she got to my aching hand. First, it felt painful as she handled it, but then, as she massaged away, especially at the wrist, that sweet, blissful feeling of relief flowed through it, and I just lay there as she worked her Earth pony magic. It felt like her hooves had released a tap in my hand, letting pent-up circulation flow soothingly through it.

“I can guess, my dear,” said Lotus, kindly. “Your poor hand felt so tense, so overworked. You should have come to us sooner.”

“I know,” I mumbled. “It was a mistake not to. I’ve just been so busy lately.”

“I understand,” said Lotus, “but it’s important to take time for yourself. Even humans deserve a little pampering, no?”

“Absolutely,” I said.

When the massage was over (it could have gone on forever, and I’d have been content), and after soaking in the mud bath and hot tub, I once more felt like a new man, full of new energy. In fact, it felt even better than the last time I was here. It must’ve been something to do with my diet.

Just as I had handed over the payment for the treatment, the doors opened, and in walked Rarity, accompanied not by Fluttershy, but by Moonlight. The first thing I felt was surprise at seeing the two together, as I couldn’t exactly remember seeing them spend time together by themselves. Then I noticed that Moonlight had once again decided to change up her mane. Now it hung loosely in a silky curtain down the back of her neck and over her shoulders, though not as long as Fluttershy’s.

“And I know it’ll feel a little strange, stepping into mud,” Rarity was saying, “but once you try it, I think you’ll really-”

She broke off, seeing that Moonlight had stopped in her tracks at the sight of me. She caught sight of me, too, and her face took on an expression of delighted surprise.

“Hello, darling!” she said.

“Hi, Dave,” said Moonlight, with that kind smile of hers.

“Hey, girls,” I said. “Introducing Moonlight to the spa, Rarity?”

“Why, yes,” said Rarity. “Can you believe the poor dear’s never been to one?” 

Moonlight’s cheeks went pink, and she muttered something about ‘never really considered it’.

“It’s almost as shocking as hearing you say it, when I brought you along,” said Rarity.

“And that was months ago,” I said, ruefully. “Well, I’ve hopefully made up for it by coming today. I really needed it.”

“That’s wonderful,” said Rarity, smiling. “Did you have a good Hearts and Hooves Day?”

“Yeah, I did,” I said. “It was a fun day at Bon Bon’s, playing the piano for customers.”

“Speaking of Bon Bon,” said Rarity, her voice suddenly taking on a hushed, conspiratorial tone, “is it true? Are she and Lyra really…?”

I nodded. Rarity let out a delighted little squeal.

“I knew it!” she said. “The signs were always there! I knew there was something between those two! It’s like something out of a Jane Hossten novel! Oh, isn’t it wonderful when two best friends find love in each other?” she added, dreamily.

“It is,” agreed Moonlight, beaming. “I think it’s really sweet. Good for them.”

“I agree,” I said. “So, how about you two?”

“Oh, my Hearts and Hooves Day was pleasant,” said Rarity. “Spikey-wikey dropped by with a box of Bon Bon’s Hearts and Hooves chocolates. He’s such a sweet boy, isn’t he?”

“He’s thoughtful, that’s for sure,” I said.

“So I rewarded him with a nice big topaz I’d been saving just for him. Ohh, I wish you could’ve seen how his face lit up. He looked like he wanted to say something, but he never did. He just ran out the door with that topaz clutched in his claws.”

(I may be wrong, but I think I know what he wanted to say.)

“How about you, Moonlight?” I asked. “What was Sugarcube Corner like yesterday?”

“Jam-packed,” said Moonlight. “It was like one of Pinkie’s parties, it was so crowded! And speaking of Pinkie,” she added, becoming a little giggly, “she actually asked everypony who was a couple, on a bullhorn, no less, to step up to the counter, so we could celebrate them. Almost everypony there went up, even Mr. and Mrs. Cake. It was really sweet.”

“I’ll bet it was,” I said, smiling. “Ah, but look at me, blabbering on, when you two have a date with the spa. I really shouldn’t delay you any longer.”

“Oh, it’s no bother, really, Dave,” said Rarity. “It’s never a waste of time, catching up with a good friend.”

“Although, that reminds me,” I said, “I’m a little surprised Fluttershy’s not here with you.”

“She couldn’t come, unfortunately,” said Rarity. “She’d remembered she’d already agreed to spend the day with her parents, and I was not about to let her cancel that on my account. Very sweet ponies, let me tell you. Then I bumped into Moonlight, and she agreed to be my spa buddy today when she knew what my plans were.”

“I just didn’t want you to have to be by yourself,” said Moonlight, sweetly.

“So considerate of you, darling,” said Rarity, kindly.

“Well, I hope you two have a good time,” I said, grinning.

“Thanks, Dave,” said Moonlight. “We’ll catch you later.”

“Ta-ta, darling.”

“See you.”

And with that, the three of us parted, but I still heard Rarity call out ‘the usual’ before the spa door closed behind me.

Friday, February 15


***


The next day, once again having nothing better to do, I decided to just take a stroll, see where the wind took me. It was less cold now, and more bearable to be out longer. Today, my feet seemed to feel inclined to take me towards Sweet Apple Acres, so, to Sweet Apple Acres I went. With the winter weather, I didn’t think the Apples would be busy with farm work. Then again, I wasn’t a farmer, so I didn’t know how things got done on one. Plus, this being Equestria, they might very well have something else to do in winter.

The sound of a dog barking broke my thoughts. I just barely had enough time to see Winona sprinting through the snow before she pounced on me, almost knocking me off my feet as she started licking my face.

“Down, Winona, down!” I cried, though I couldn’t help laughing. “Take it easy, girl! It’s good to see you, too!”

Gently disengaging myself from her, I petted her head to try and calm her down. That seemed to work, as she simply sat in the snow at my feet, her eyes closed and her tail wagging like mad. She was such an adorable pup.
 
“Winona! Where’d you run off to, girl?”

I knew that voice, and so did Winona. Barking, she jumped up and ran towards the source. Sure enough, Applejack came trotting up, dressed in a blue winter jacket.

“Oh! Howdy, Dave!” she said, beaming at the sight of me.

“Hey, Applejack,” I said. “Been a while since I’ve been to Sweet Apple Acres, so I thought I’d just take a stroll over. I haven’t really had much to be up to lately.”

“That so? Well, how’d you like to join us inside for a mug of cider? I tell ya, sugarcube, there’s nothing like sittin’ by the fire with a mug full to the brim of our farm’s finest.”

“Cider?” I asked, tentatively. “I don’t know, AJ.”

“Oh, don’t go worryin’ about that,” said Applejack, breezily. “This stuff’s a lot lighter than what you had at cider season.”

“How do you mean?” I asked, puzzled slightly.

“Turns out I made a bit of a mistake,” said Applejack, looking sheepish. “That barrel I saved for you and the girls was actually full of some of our harder stuff, so it had more than a bit of a kick to it. Ah hadn’t realized at the time.”

So that was what my whole song and dance thing was about!

“Ohhh,” I said, comprehending. “So the whole thing with me getting tipsy-”

“-Was ‘cuz I mixed up the barrels,” said Applejack. “Sorry, hun. You missed out on the rest of cider season on account of me,” she added, contritely.

“Hey, I’m not mad about it,” I said, and I was far from feeling it. “It was just an honest mistake.” 

The corners of her mouth twitched at the word ‘honest’, but she stopped looking so guilty, at any rate.

“In any case,” I said, “I would be more than happy to have a mug with you, if you’re offering. Lead the way.”

“Fantastic!” said Applejack, smiling broadly.

And, turning around, she led the way towards the farmhouse, Winona gamboling happily at her side.


***


She was right: there was something to be said about this. The four Apples, Winona, and myself all sat gathered around the fireplace. Granny Smith was in her rocking chair, swathed in a thick blanket. Big Mac sat in an armchair that seemed ready-made for a stallion his size, only missing a pipe and slippers to complete the image of comfort he gave off. Applejack, Apple Bloom, and I sat together on the sofa, and Winona lay curled up on the rug at our feet. Well, my feet, and their hooves. There was a slight smell of something flowery, even something spice-like, in the air. It turned out to be coming from Apple Bloom, who had spent the morning helping Zecora make potions. I couldn’t help feeling like she was well on her way to a cutie mark in potion brewing, but only time would tell better than I, with only a bit of book knowledge on the subject, could.

We had all been provided with mugs of cider Applejack had whipped up. True to her word, this batch was not like the one I’d tasted all the way back during cider season. It still had the same sweet, tart flavor, but it didn’t give me a heady rush or a feeling of giddiness like before. It merely sent a warm, tingly feeling through my mouth and down my throat. It was one of the most delicious things I’d ever drunk.

“So how was Hearts and Hooves Day for you all?” I asked.

“Pretty quiet for this old gal,” said Granny Smith. “You might not believe me, Davey-boy, but I used to be quite the head-turner when I was younger. Had a whole slew of stallions trippin’ over their tails just to ask me out.”

The three Apple siblings looked at each other, then covered their muzzles to stifle their laughter. Granny didn’t notice.

“Oh really?” I asked. “You don’t have any admirers today?”

“Well,” said Granny, pondering, “there is this one feller down at the marketplace. Always tries to offer me some pretty good deals, but I’ve got his number. He’s just tryin’ to get the secret of how we make Zap Apple Jam; every time we talk, he always leads into that sooner or later. That’s when I know it’s time to clam up and move on. Right, Big Mac?” she added, turning to her grandson.

“Eeyup,” said Big Mac, nodding solemnly and straight-facedly.

“Sounds like Zap Apple Jam’s pretty praiseworthy,” I said.

“It’s the best!” said Apple Bloom, zealously. “Just you wait ‘til the season rolls around, Dave! Yer gonna love it!”

“I don’t doubt that,” I said, grinning.

Something tapped my knee. Looking down, I saw that Winona was pawing my leg, her tail wagging. Seeing that she had my attention, she then lay down and rolled onto her back, her paws curled up against her chest. It made me chuckle.

“What are you trying to say, Winona?” I asked, playfully.

“Oh, she does that whenever she wants a good belly rubbin’,” said Applejack. “Looks like she wants you to give her one.”

“That so?” I asked. “Well, if that’s she wants, who am I to say no?”

Setting my mug aside, I knelt down beside Winona and started running my hand along her stomach. Her eyes closed blissfully, her tongue lolling, her hind paw twitching. She was irresistibly reminding me of a dog I had back at home, who acted just the same way. I was soon alternating between her belly and behind her ears, and it was clear she was loving it.

“Who’s a good girl, Winona?” I said, adopting that baby-talk tone all pet owners use when giving their animals affection. “Who’s a good girl? You are. Yes, you are.”

I could hear the Apples chuckling over Winona’s little whines of pleasure. After a little while, I finally eased off, and Winona settled herself more comfortably on the rug. I returned to the sofa and retrieved my mug.

“So, what’ve you been up to, sonny?” Granny asked.

“Me? Well, I spent most of the week helping out Lyra and Bon Bon at the sweet shop, for Hearts and Hooves Day.”

“Well, that was real sweet of ya,” said Applejack, grinning. “No pun intended.”

“Thanks,” I said, grinning back.

“Ohhh, so you must’ve seen Sweetie Belle go in and buy that chocolate heart she got Button Mash!” said Apple Bloom.

I hesitated slightly. My promise to Sweetie Belle was to keep it from Rarity. She hadn’t said anything about her friends, but I still didn’t think I ought to outright admit to it.

“I might have,” I said. “It was pretty busy that week. For Button Mash, you said?”

“Yeah,” said Apple Bloom. “She gave it to him, blushin’ fit to burst, and he just scarfed it down in a few bites! Didn’t even say ‘thank you’ or give Sweetie Belle anythin’ in return! Can you imagine?”

“Oh, wow,” I said, slightly bemused. “That does sound pretty rude. How did Sweetie Belle take it?”

“Well, she got kinda huffy about it for a little while,” said Apple Bloom, “but by the time school was out, she’d gotten over it.”

“Oh, good,” I said, relieved. “She doesn’t seem the type to stay mad for long.”

“Nope, never does,” said Apple Bloom.

“Well, in any case,” I said, “right now, I haven’t really got anything going on. After the whole Crystal Empire and Brimstone Lounge events, I’ve just been glad to have a little downtime.”

“I should think so,” said Applejack. “You’ve had a lot on your plate, sugar. Only natural that you’d want some ‘you time’.”

“Heh, yeah,” I said.

Then, remembering the thought I’d had on my way home Thursday night, I added,

“Well, you know, it would be nice to travel around, see more of Equestria while I have the chance. Cranky Doodle told me about all the places he’s visited, and it’s gotten me interested in seeing them. Trouble is, I don’t know where to start. I’ve already visited Canterlot, Cloudsdale, and the Crystal Empire, but that’s not to say I wouldn’t go back to any of them,” I added, quickly.

Applejack looked thoughtful at this. After a pause, she finally said,

“Well, if you want my advice, I’d just wait and see what crops up. Yer workin’ for Princess Celestia’s council, right?”

“Yeah,” I said, “but my boss is on vacation.”

“Well, wait until you hear back from him, then you can think about where and when you wanna go,” said Applejack. “Winter Wrap Up’s comin’ up, so you’ll wanna take that into account, too, if yer plannin’ to help.”

There was sense in that. It made me glad knowing Applejack was so easy to talk to about things like this.

“That sounds like a plan to me,” I said, giving her shoulder a pat. “Thanks, AJ.”

“Yer welcome, sugar,” said Applejack, smiling.

“Well, y’know,” said Apple Bloom, “Ah’ve kinda been thinkin’ about somethin’.”

“Yes, Apple Bloom?” I asked.

“The girls and I have been doin’ lots of things tryin’ to earn our cutie marks,” she said, “but Ah guess we never got to askin’: is there anythin’ you wanna do to try and earn one? Somethin’ you always wanted to give a try?”

I could feel a slight weight in the pit of my stomach. I still didn’t know what would happen if I ever told the girls humans didn’t earn cutie marks, but I wasn’t about to find out. Still, her question gave me food for thought, and I had to mull it over, swishing the dregs of my mug around almost automatically.

“Hmm...Well, I’d always wanted to learn how to play the piano,” I said, finally, “but now I can. I guess, logically, the next step would be to play for an audience, which I did, for the patrons at Bon Bon’s for Hearts and Hooves Day. Still, it might be a neat idea to do something a little bigger, for a bigger audience.”

“Ooh!” said Apple Bloom, sounding interested. “Like a concert?”

“Mmm...Yeah, I’d imagine so. I mean, I never used to be good in front of crowds, but that was before I gave a speech about the return of the Crystal Empire. I think a concert wouldn’t be too much of a stretch, then, either.”

“That sounds great!” said Apple Bloom. “Ah’ll have to run it by the others and see what they think, but Ah like the sound of that already!”

She was bouncing up and down on the cushion in her excitement. Granny and Big Mac chuckled. Applejack rolled her eyes, an amused smile on her face.

“Anypony up for another round?” asked Big Mac, rising from his chair.

This was greeted with a unanimous ‘yes’ from his sisters and grandmother, and me.


***


I’d spent a few pleasant hours at Sweet Apple Acres, then returned home. I had bought a couple books full of sheet music from Serenade’s the other day, after my trip to the spa, and I decided to spend the afternoon going through them and giving the songs in them a go. Even I was amazed at how well I was picking up on them, after all those practice sessions at Lyra and Bon Bon’s, and preparing for Hearts and Hooves Day. I still wasn’t ‘perfect’, but I was much better than when I’d started out. At least now I wasn’t the kind of pianist who could only play one song.

As it started to grow dark, there came a knock at the door. Upon answering, I found Moonlight, beaming up at me.

“Hey there,” I said, smiling back. “Enjoy your time at the spa?”

“Oh, it was wonderful!” said Moonlight, with adorable enthusiasm in her voice. “I’ve never had such a relaxing time, or an opportunity to really spend time with Rarity. She’s so nice, and so generous. She paid for the both of us, even though I was willing to pay for myself.”

“Heh, yeah,” I said. “She’s charitable to a fault. I felt the same way when she first offered to make me new clothes.”

“So, are you up to anything right now?” asked Moonlight. “I figured we could finish the little of Amulet of Atonement we haven’t finished yet.”

“Not really,” I said. “I was just practicing some new songs on the piano, but we can definitely finish what’s left of the book today. Please, come in, my lady,” I added, bowing grandly.

“With the greatest of pleasure, my good sir,” giggled Moonlight, bowing in turn before stepping in.


***


For all of the twists and turns that the series threw at us, neither of us were expecting what the ending of this book had brought us. Moonlight’s eyes were moist, and I was feeling a little choked up myself.

“I can’t believe Dowser’s leaving, just like that,” said Moonlight, sadly.

“Neither can I,” I muttered, “but Daring thinks he’ll be safer if they don’t work together anymore. We saw what happened with the Quetzalcoatl Empress. She’s right; he could have been killed.”

“I know, but still,” said Moonlight. “They’ve been through so much together.”

“I know,” I said, nodding. “It doesn’t mean he’ll be gone forever, though. He just won’t be traveling everywhere with Daring anymore. He might pop up in future books. Heck, maybe he’ll get a spinoff.”

Giving a wipe at her eyes, Moonlight brightened slightly at this.

“Yeah,” she said. “That wouldn’t be such a bad idea. And you’re right, it’s not like he’s gone forever. Who knows? Maybe things’ll get more interesting now that Daring’s all by herself again.”

“Yeah,” I agreed. “Trouble is, I wonder when the next book’ll come out.”

“Oh, yeah,” said Moonlight. “This is the newest one currently out. Phooey.”

She crossed her forelegs and pouted. I knew she was exaggerating, but there was something so cutely childish about it that I couldn’t help chuckling.

“Hey, come on, now,” I teased. “Don’t be such a grouchy filly.”

I complimented this with a one-handed tickle to her unguarded middle. That wiped the frown off her face, and set her giggling.

“We’ll have to keep on the watch for the next one,” I said. “In the meantime, we can find plenty of other things to do together.”

“Yeah, I know,” said Moonlight. “I was just being silly.”

“That’s because you’ve been hanging around Pinkie so much,” I said, “which is by no means a bad thing.”

Moonlight giggled again. The rest of her visit passed amicably after that, as I played some piano for her. To my surprise, once she had learned the lyrics to one or two of the songs, she actually sang along with my playing, in a clear and beautiful voice. I was starting to wonder if there were any surprises left that this sweet-natured pegasus was keeping from me.

Saturday, February 16


***


The next day, Ironmane was absent once more, and another guard came to deliver my dues. As he handed them over, however, I saw that a letter was securely taped to the burlap.

“What’s this?” I asked the guard.

“Message from Minister Ironmane,” said the guard. “Good day, sir.”

“Er, thanks.”

As the guard marched off, I went back inside, detached the letter from the bag, set the bag down, and opened the letter. It read as follows:

‘David,
Your presence is required at a Round Table meeting that is to take place on February 28th, the last day of winter. I have an announcement or two to make that may produce a significant impact on the Council’s proceedings thenceforth, and I wish for you to be in attendance when that occurs.
Hoping you are in good spirits,
Yours sincerely,
Minister Ironmane’

It looked like I was right to wait, like Applejack said. Now I knew when Ironmane would have need of me, and it was a comfortable ways off. I could take a trip, if I wanted to, and just leave a note saying I was out, in case I didn’t return until after next Sunday. The only question was, where should I go?

I was jerked out of my pondering this by a series of rapid-fire knocks at my door. It almost sounded like someone was trying to send me a message. Opening it up, I found...no one.

“What the…?”

I didn’t think I’d wasted that much time before answering. Where had the knocker gone? This was weird.

As I turned back inside, however, I found myself unexpectedly face-to-face with Pinkie, a wide and toothy smile on her face.

“Morning, Davie!”

“GAH!”

It was lucky that I’d closed the door behind me, or I might have tripped over the threshold. As it was, I jumped back, bumping against the door, a hand over my heart.

“P-Pinkie!” I gasped out. “One of these days, you’re going to give me a heart attack!”

“Sorry, Davie,” said Pinkie. “I just have super-duper big news for you!”

“Oh really?” I asked, feeling my heart rate returning to normal. “What would that be?”

Pinkie took in a deep breath, deep enough to shrink her belly in and puff her chest out, then said,

“I’m going to visit my family on the farm this week, tomorrow through Saturday, and I want you to come with me!”

She accompanied the word ‘you’ with a poke to my chest, and finished with an eager smile on her face. I stared at her for a moment or two, the meaning of what she said taking that long to really kick in. At last, I asked,

“Really? You want to bring me along?”

“Of course, you silly billy!” said Pinkie. “You never got the chance to last time, remember?”

“Ohh, right,” I said, vividly recollecting my expulsion from the Pie farm on my first visit, then Igneous Rock Pie’s apology letter afterwards. “I remember. Well, you know, Pinkie,” I continued, grinning at her, “your timing couldn’t be more perfect. I don’t have anything else going on, at least not until the 28th. In which case, I would be delighted to accompany you.”

Pinkie let out a squeal of delight, and she threw her forelegs around me in one of those bone-numbing hugs of hers, pinning my arms so that I couldn’t return it.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you!” she cried. “You’re going to have so much fun there, Davie, I promise you! The girls did when they visited, and now you’ll get to see what you missed out on!”

“Trust me, Pinkie,” I said, my voice strained, “I already can’t wait!”

“Welp, I’ve gotta get packed for tomorrow,” she said, finally releasing me. “You’d better do the same. See ya!”

I barely had time to open the door before she bounded through it, singing tunelessly and joyfully as she went. Despite her constantly coming close to giving me a coronary whenever she snuck up on me like she did, it was impossible to stay mad at her. She never meant any harm by it. At any rate, I was finally going to have a proper visit at the Pie farm, get better acquainted with the rest of her family, maybe even learn a thing or two about rock farming. With this in mind, I set about making the necessary preparations for a week away from home.

Sunday, February 17

> Dinner with the Pies
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“We’re going to the rock farm
The rock farm
The rock farm
We’re going to the rock farm
To see my family

My parents and my sisters
My sisters
My sisters
My parents and my sisters
And don’t forget Grammy”

It was afternoon, as there weren’t many trains heading for the rock farming community that day, and it was the closest we could get. The train was rattling along the track at a comfortable rate. However, its speed was immensely superseded by Pinkie’s. She was hopping all around the carriage, singing at the top of her voice to the tune of ‘Follow the Leader’, drawing every eye onto her. It was rather embarrassing, as they looked over at me, too, since she was my travel companion. However, I just kept my mouth shut and eyes averted, hoping no one would say anything. 

At last, Pinkie stopped and plunked herself down beside me, smiling widely.

“Pinkie,” I said, wearily, “at this rate, everypony and their maiden aunt’s gonna know where we’re going.”

Pinkie tilted her head, looking innocently puzzled.

“You say that like it’s a bad thing,” she said.

“Well, I’m not saying it is,” I said. “I just meant...Ah, never mind. It’s great that you’re so excited, but maybe you ought to tone it down just a bit.”

“Ohh,” said Pinkie, comprehending. “All righty!”

She scooted herself so that she was right up beside me, and simply sat, humming to herself. I couldn’t believe she’d actually listened. I’d also expected her to pull something like singing again in a lower pitch, to prove she could ‘tone it down’; it would’ve been exactly the sort of thing she’d do. But no, she subverted my expectations, and I couldn’t help wondering if she knew that. Now that the show was over, the other passengers returned to whatever they’d been doing beforehand.

“Does your family even know I’m coming?” I asked.

“I told them to expect a guest besides me,” said Pinkie, “but I didn’t say who it was going to be. I wanted to keep that a surprise!”

“And we all know that there’s nothing worse than a spoiled surprise,” I said, grinning. 

“You’re learning,” said Pinkie, with a grin of her own, speaking as if I was her pupil in party theory.

“And you’re sure they won’t mind it being me?” I asked.

“Of course they won’t,” said Pinkie. “Trust me, Davie: my family’s gonna love you. Marble and Limestone like you, and I’m sure if Maud met you, she’d like you, too!”

She threw her forelegs around me, raising herself so that her cheek rested against mine. I couldn’t help smiling as a feeling of warmth went through me. It had suddenly struck me just how many of these ponies treated me like members of their own family: the Cakes, the Hooves’, the Apples. Would I be just as good as an honorary Pie, too? I could only hope.

“Soooo,” said Pinkie, “who’s ready for another round of ‘Would You Rather’?”

“I guess I am,” I said.

“Yay! Ok, let’s see. Would you rather...never be able to speak again, or always have to say everything on your mind?”

“Aww, jeez, Pinkie, that’s just evil,” I said, half-amused, half-frustrated.

Pinkie merely stuck out her tongue goofily, while I tried to decide on my answer.


***


It was early evening by the time the train pulled into the station. I was once again momentarily stymied by the odd appearance of the stone-hewn, almost prehistoric-looking building, but I supposed it only made sense when the land was devoted to rock farming. As we stepped off (we were the only ones who did at this stop), I noticed somepony standing in the shadow of the station roof. They stepped forward, revealing Marble Pie, a warm smile on her face at the sight of us. Pinkie let out a joyful cry and pounced on her twin, grabbing her in a hug.

“Look who it is: the bestest baby sister in the world!” she said, nuzzling her so fervently I swore I could hear their cheeks rubbing together.

“Pinkie, please,” muttered Marble, looking embarrassed, though she still smiled and gave her a one-legged hug all the same.

When Pinkie finally let her go, she approached me, beaming up at me.

“Pinkie never told us you’d be the one coming, Dave,” she said.

“I hope that’s alright,” I said, grinning sheepishly.

“Of course it is!” said Marble. 

She reared up and gave me a much gentler hug than one of Pinkie’s. 

“Everypony’s going to be so glad to see you! Come on, you two.”

And, with Marble leading the way, the three of us departed from the station, heading off towards Pinkie’s fillyhood home.


***


“...Sick with the flu for a week!”

“No!”

“Yeah. Luckily, Grammy’s Stone Spice Soup made him feel a lot better. Dad’s so stubborn, though. He kept saying he didn’t need anypony fussing over him, but Mom made him take it.”

“Heehee! That’s just like him.”

The two sisters chatted as we went along, walking side by side while I kept to the rear. Despite how unbelievable it was that they were really twins, it was heartwarming to see how well they got along. In fact, from what I’d seen, siblings in Equestria got along a lot better than what I was used to seeing back home. Usually, when one thinks of older brothers or sisters, what comes to mind is the image of the aloof, jerkish elder sibling, or the rambunctious, pesky younger one. While I didn’t doubt familial relationships here weren’t always smiles and laughs, it was still nice to see evidence of such close bonds.

At last, we came in sight of the Pie farm, the farmhouse lights already aglow. In the dimming light, I could see the enormous, egg-shaped rock known as Holder’s Boulder. Pinkie had told me to stay away from the Boulder, as Limestone Pie was very protective of it, so I gave it a wide berth. Speaking of Limestone, she was standing at the front door to greet us.

“Hi, Limey!” said Pinkie, grabbing her up in a tight hug.

“Hey there, little sis,” said Limestone, smiling and patting her on the back. “Good to see you. You too, Dave,” she added, looking at me.

“Hello, Limestone,” I said, genially.

She held out a hoof, and I grasped it in a warm handshake. 

“Your timing couldn’t be better,” she said. “Dinner’s just about ready. Come on in.”

Pinkie let go of her, and the four of us walked inside, whereupon I found myself inside the Pie household for the first time. 

It was simple, yet it had a cozy feel to it. A fire was crackling in a fireplace on the far wall, in front of which lay a circular rug. A bookshelf holding dishes and knickknacks stood to the side of it. Framed, sepia-toned photographs lined the walls, depicting the Pies of the present and, I presumed, the past. A long dining room table sat in one corner, while a door near it led, I supposed, to the kitchen. A door on the opposite side showed the beginning of a staircase leading to the upper floors. 

Igneous Rock Pie was sitting in an armchair before the fire, his eyes closed. He looked exhausted. He must’ve had a busy day. Pinkie bounced over to him and pecked him on the cheek, whereupon he awoke to find his second-youngest daughter beaming at him.

“Hi, Dad!” she chirped, throwing her forelegs about him.

“Hello, Pinkamena,” he said, smiling and patting her mane. “It does mine heart good to see thee again.”

He looked up and saw me. Pinkie released him, and he stood up, walking over to me and holding out his hoof.

“And you, Dave,” he said. “Welcome. May our humble home offer thee the comfort thou needst.”

“Thank you very much, Mr. Pie,” I said, shaking his hoof gratefully.

I was glad he didn’t bring up what happened last time. That was all water under the bridge now. A light clattering noise made me look ‘round. Cloudy Quartz and Grammy Pie were just finishing setting the table with what looked like a great pot pie, as well as a loaf of bread and a slab of butter. Both looked up to see Pinkie and me, their faces splitting into smiles of welcome.

“Hi, Mom! Hi, Grammy!” said Pinkie, bouncing over and pulling both of them into a hug, one on each side.

“Hello, dearie,” said Grammy, patting her head affectionately.

“So good to see you, Pinkamena,” said Cloudy, nuzzling her.

Pinkie let them go to give me room to approach. I gave both older mares a bow.

“How do you do, Mrs. Pie and Miss Pie?”

I hoped that sounded right; it sounded weird to me when I said it.

“Very well, thank you, hun,” said Grammy, inclining her head. “Good to see you again. And please, do call me Grammy.”

“Er, right. Thank you, Grammy.”

“Welcome back to our little farm, Dave,” said Cloudy, kindly. “We hope thy trip was well and good.”

“Very much so,” I said. “Being with Pinkie has a way of making the hours fly by.”

Pinkie grinned broadly.

“Well, come along, then,” said Grammy, brightly and briskly. “Come and get it while it’s hot. You two have impeccable timing.”

The Pies all crowded around the table. I sat myself between Pinkie and Marble, and waited as Grammy doled out great big slices for us, and about two or three slices of buttered bread each. It was indeed a veggie pot pie, but, unless I was mistaken, there also appeared to be pebbles mixed in. I shouldn’t have been surprised; this was a rock farm, after all. It was just, with the baked goods Grammy had made and sent along with Applejack, I hadn’t really given much thought to the Pies using rocks in their cooking.

(Well, I’ve tried dragon gem cuisine with those crystal candies. This can’t be too different, can it?)

“Something wrong, Davie?” Pinkie asked.

“No, not at all,” I said. “I’m just, er, admiring the pie.”

“Why, thank you,” said Cloudy. “Tis our special Pebble Pot Pie. The recipe’s been in the family for generations.”

“A meal most befitting an honored guest,” said Igneous, in a stately voice.

I knew he meant it in the best of ways, but anyone else hearing that when about to be fed something full of rocks might have taken it ill. However, as Pinkie’s friend, and as an ambassador for the Council, I was not about to be rude and say I couldn’t partake. With a gulp, I scooped up a big forkful, braced myself, and stuffed it into my mouth.

The hearty taste of vegetables masked the presence of the pebbles, but my teeth met with some resistance as I chewed. With effort I honestly hoped wasn’t easily discernible to my hosts, I tried to crunch the pebbles up, but it wasn’t easy. It was like trying to eat breakfast cereal made of Gobstoppers. It was lucky there were so small, but now the taste and texture was more pronounced in my mouth. I swallowed hard, aware that the eyes of every Pie was on me, awaiting my opinion. Smiling as well as I could, I said,

“Well, I can honestly say...I’ve never tasted anything like it!”

All 6 Pies beamed at me for this, although Pinkie was giving me a rather shrewd look, as though she had seen what they hadn’t. I wasn’t exactly lying; I hadn’t tasted anything like it before. Still, I felt a nagging tug at my conscience. 

The rest of the meal passed amicably after that, with Pinkie’s parents asking me about what I’d been up to. They were keenly interested in the news about the Crystal Empire, especially Limestone, who had extensive knowledge of crystals and ores from working her mine. As for the Brimstone Lounge, Igneous took off his hat in reverent respect, saying that he was glad ponykind could finally give back to the dragons, after what they’d given us. 

I was puzzled by this, until Limestone explained that Holder’s Boulder had been found by their ancestor, Holder Cobblestone, in a dragon’s nest, and the farm had been built around it. If not for that, their way of life might not have come about until much later, or possibly not at all. I was astonished; how little we appreciate the tiniest happenings that change the entire course of history. I was soon jerked out of this, however, by dessert being brought in: a pineapple upside-down cake, courtesy of Grammy (and thankfully free of rocks), and who can think complexly with such food to concentrate on?


***


At last, the plates were empty, and everypony was sitting back comfortably in their chairs. Pinkie was still licking her plate. Limestone had excused herself, saying that she needed to finish up some work in the mines before bed. Marble, looking as though she was fighting to stay awake, went with her, unbidden.

“Excellent meal, Mother,” said Igneous.

“Yeah, thanks very much, Grammy,” I said.

“Oh, it was my pleasure,” said Grammy. “I haven’t had an excuse to whip out that old recipe for ages.”

Finally, Pinkie removed her face from her plate, licking her lips in satisfaction and patting her stomach.

“Pinkamena,” said Cloudy, “why not show Dave where he’ll be staying, let him get settled in for the night?”

“Ok, Mom,” said Pinkie. “Follow me, Davie!”

She hopped from her chair, any sign of post-food lethargy imperceptible, and I stood up, too, taking up my loaded saddlebags as I did so. I turned to the three Pie elders.

“Good night,” I said.

“Good night, Dave,” said Igneous.

“Sleep well,” said Cloudy.

“And don’t let the earth mites bite,” said Granny.

Earth what?

“Come on, Davie,” said Pinkie, with a giggle at my confused expression.

“Oh, honestly, Grammy,” I heard Cloudy say as we left the room. 

The doorway led into a hallway with a staircase leading to the upper floor. Three rooms connected off of this hallway, presumably bedrooms and a bathroom. Pinkie, a lit candle in her hoof, led me up the stairs, and I soon found myself in an attic bedroom. It was surprisingly well-kept for a room that was generally untidy and full of miscellany. A chest of drawers stood opposite the stairs, and a single window with purple curtains looked out upon the farm, which was now dark and empty-looking. Four bunk beds occupied the left and right-hand walls, with ramps set up to reach the upper bunks.

“Looks comfy,” I said, approvingly. “Do you all sleep here?”

“Yep,” said Pinkie. “It’ll be like a big sleepover! You, me, Marble, and Limestone! It’ll be so much fun! I just wish Maud was here to meet you, too, but she’s still at school. Don’t worry, though, Davie. I’m sure you’ll get to meet her one of these days.”

“I hope so,” I said, “given how much you’ve been hyping her up.”

Pinkie looked all about her, as though making sure no one was listening. She then motioned with her hoof for me to move closer, so I leaned down to her head level. She whispered, with a rather smug look on her face,

“You can’t eat rocks, can you, Davie?”

I felt my face go red, and a hot sweat broke out on my back. So she had noticed.

“Was it that obvious?” I muttered.

“To me it was,” said Pinkie. “I don’t think anypony else noticed, but I could just tell from the look on your face. You had this ‘I can’t eat rocks’ look on it.”

I sighed.

“Pinkie, I’m an ambassador,” I said. “A representative of the Equestrian Foreign Relations Council. How would it look for me to tell your family, to their faces, that I couldn’t eat their cooking? I mean, with that pie, it was fine. I could swallow those pebbles; it wasn’t easy, and I’ll bet it’s not going to feel pleasant in a while, but I managed. Even so, I couldn’t just up and say I couldn’t eat something they offered me, when they put all that effort into it. Besides, I wanted to start off on the right foot with them.”

Pinkie continued to give me that smug little smile, but then it relaxed into a warm one.

“That’s really sweet of you, Davie,” she said. “I’m glad you at least gave it a try, for their sakes. I’ll have a talk with them about it, though. Don’t worry; rocks aren’t for everypony. They ought to understand.”

“Thanks, Pinkie,” I said, gratefully. “No offense, but I think I came close to breaking a tooth. Minuette wouldn’t have been happy with me if I went to her about it. Or would she?” I added, pondering. “Does a dentist feel happier when there’s worse tooth problems for them to fix, or do they prefer not having problems to deal with at all? But if they didn’t have anything to fix, they’d have no job to do, and then…”

I stopped, and clapped a hand to my forehead. That was making my brain hurt. Pinkie giggled.

“You big silly,” she said.

I grinned sheepishly at her. Come to think of it, that felt like the kind of thing she would do when stuck on a thought. She was really rubbing off on me.

“I’d better go change,” I mumbled.

I grabbed my pajamas and toothbrush from my saddlebags, and went downstairs to change in the bathroom and brush my teeth. Once that was taken care of, I came back upstairs to find Pinkie already settled in an upper bunk, hind legs crossed and forelegs behind her head.

“I forgot to ask,” she said, “are you a top bunker or bottom bunker?”

“Definitely bottom,” I said. “Of course, if you sink through the mattress and fall on top of me, it won’t be my fault,” I added, jokingly.

Pinkie snorted.

“I’m not that heavy,” she said, sounding more amused than offended, despite her mattress already sagging a bit beneath her.

“I know,” I said. “I was only kidding.”

I clambered into the bunk underneath Pinkie. The mattress was very comfortable. I could hear Pinkie sigh contentedly to herself above me. Then, with a creaking of bedsprings, she leaned over the side, so that she was peering at me upside down. I raised an eyebrow.

“Yes?” I questioned.

“Hi,” she said, simply.

“Hi,” I replied. “Was that all you wanted?”

“Yep!” said Pinkie, before she disappeared from view.

All I could do was shake my head and chuckle, then I lay back on my pillow, closing my eyes. I immediately opened them, however, when there was the sound of hooves coming up the stairs. I could see a light coming, illuminating a pair of ponies ascending. Next second, Marble and Limestone appeared, looking exhausted, Marble carrying another candle in one hoof.

“Hey there,” said Limestone, spying me. “Just a bit of a heads-up. There’s still stuff that needs to get done around here, even though it’s winter. I might be a little scarce, but I’ll do what I can to be here for you when you want to do something. Sound good?” 

“Yeah,” I said.

“Good,” said Limestone. “In any case, you’ll have Pinkie and Marble to keep you company. They’re way better with guests than I am.”

“Oh, Limestone, don’t put yourself down like that,” Marble said, reprovingly.

“Just saying it like it is, little sis,” said Limestone, shrugging. “Now, let’s all get some shut-eye. I have a feeling Mom and Grammy are gonna break out the photo albums tomorrow, or Dad’s gonna lecture you about rock farming, so be ready.”

“Heh, duly noted,” I said.

Limestone climbed up the ramp of the other bed, flopping down on her own mattress and stretching. Her joints cracked audibly. Marble set her candle down and climbed into the bottom bunk opposite mine. She smiled sweetly at me once she was settled in, and I smiled back.

“Night, Marble. Night, Pinkie. Night, Dave,” Limestone said, turning over away from us.

“Good night, Limestone,” said Marble. “Good night, Pinkie. Good night, Dave.”

“Good night, Marble!” said Pinkie. “Good night, Limey! Good night, Davie!”

“Good night, everyone,” I said.

Marble leaned down and blew the flame out, so that the only light inside came from through the window from the moon. I settled more comfortably beneath my blankets, and in a few seconds, I began to drift off, despite Pinkie just then beginning to snore.

Monday, February 18

> First Day On the Farm
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I woke up the next morning to the sound of a rooster crowing. It was a far cry from Bon Bon knocking at the front door for our morning walks. I would’ve liked to sleep a little longer, but the sun was shining on my face now, so it was impossible. What made it even more impossible was Pinkie’s voice right in my ears. 

“Wakey-wakey!” she trilled. “It’s a new day! Rise and shine!”

I heard Limestone grumble in her bunk. Stretching and yawning, I sat up, and banged my head against the bottom of the upper bunk. Rubbing the spot where I’d hit it, it was all I could do to keep from swearing. Marble, tousle-maned and drowsy, sat bolt upright in surprise.

“Are you ok?” she asked, concerned.

“Y-Yeah, I’m fine,” I mumbled. “I just forgot I was in a bunk bed.”

“Aww,” said Marble, sympathetically. “Don’t worry. I used to do that all the time when Pinkie did her wake-up calls. Lucky we Pies have such thick skulls.”

The mattress above her suddenly sank lower, making her draw away in apprehension. Looking up, I saw that Pinkie had climbed into Limestone’s bunk, making it sag with her weight. Her older sister had her pillow clamped over her head.

“Come on, Limey, up and at ‘em!” said Pinkie, cheerfully. “It’s Davie’s first official day on the farm!”

“How many times do I have to tell you, Pinkie?” came Limestone’s muffled, grouchy voice. “I get up when I wanna get up! Now go away!”

She tossed her pillow at Pinkie for good measure, but she ducked. It hit the wall with a thud most unbefitting of a pillow. Pinkie really hadn’t been joking about rock pillows, then. Pillow fights were serious business.

“What’s all the noise up there?” called Igneous Rock from below.

“Nothing, Dad!” called Pinkie. “Just getting everypony up!”

“Well, shaketh a leg,” said Igneous. “Your grandmother’s making pancakes.”

“Yay!” squealed Pinkie.

She hopped up and down on the bed in excitement, making it sink lower and lower. Marble edged away, no doubt trying to avoid being crushed.

“All right, all right, I’m up!” snapped Limestone, sitting up.

I thought I wasn’t a morning person, but Limestone seemed way worse than me. She glared at her little sister, who smiled innocently and descended the ramp down to the floor. 

“See you downstairs,” she said, then disappeared down the stairs.

Muttering to herself, Limestone climbed out of bed, down the ramp, and fixed her bunk from the bottom. Marble was still cowering against the wall, but she relaxed when the bed was righted.

“Good morning,” I said.

“Morning,” Limestone grunted. “Sorry you had to see that. I forgot how much of a morning pony my little sis is.”

“That makes two of us,” I said. “I’m no morning person, trust me.”

Limestone looked at me, smirked, then headed downstairs. Marble let out a sigh.

“It feels so weird, having Pinkie back after so long,” said Marble, before she appended, hastily, “but it’s a good kind of weird, you know?”

“Yeah, I know,” I said, smiling. “I only lived with her for a week or two, and that was so long ago, right when I first arrived in Equestria. I kinda miss having her as a roommate.”

Marble smiled back, hopped off her bed, and headed downstairs. For my part, I grabbed a change of clothes and went downstairs to get washed up.


***


Well, this morning started off interestingly, but it was only just getting started. The Pies’ bathroom had no shower or bathtub. Well, it had a bathtub, but it was one of those old-fashioned wooden tubs that you have to fill yourself. Seeing the kind of place this was, I really should’ve expected something like this. Well, who was I to speak out against how they did things around here? 

With Igneous’ help, after I’d explained what I needed, the tub was eventually filled, and he left to give me privacy. It was unusual, since it had been a long time since I’d had a bona fide bath, and I’d never used a scrubbing brush before, but, as they say, ‘when in Rome…’

It took longer than I would have liked, but at last, clean, refreshed, and clothed, I made my way to the main part of the house, where all the Pies were already gathered around the table. A great stack of pancakes sat in the very middle, ready to be doled out. I sat myself down, this time between Pinkie and Limestone.

“Morning, everyone,” I said. “Sorry for that little bit of fuss earlier.”

“It was no bother,” said Igneous. “I’d forgotten that you humans had an affinity for remaining fully clothed. Then again, I wouldst not be seen without mine favorite hat.”

And it was a very nice one, at that.

Grammy divvied up the pancakes between us, so that we all had quite a sizeable stack. There was a bottle of maple syrup, a can of whipped cream, bowls of strawberries and blueberries, and, of course, a bowl of rocks. Everypony but myself and Granny added at least a hoof-ful of these to their pancakes. I settled on syrup and strawberries, then dug in. They were light, fluffy, and delicious, but they also reminded me that I really ought to weigh myself soon, see where I stood.

“Pinkamena told us that thy constitution does not handle rock cooking very well,” said Igneous.

I nearly choked on my forkful of pancake. He’d said that completely out of the blue. 

“Why did you not speak of it before, Dave?” asked Cloudy Quartz.

Neither looked angry, merely curious. I looked from them to Pinkie, who gave me an encouraging nod. Swallowing (both from nerves and to get rid of my mouthful), I said,

“I’m sorry, Mr. and Mrs. Pie-”

“Please, Dave, call us Igneous and Cloudy,” said Igneous, calmly, and his wife nodded.

“Er, right,” I said. “I’m sorry, Igneous, Cloudy. It’s just, that pot pie last night was a traditional recipe of yours, right? I didn’t want to be rude by saying I couldn’t eat it. And, to be honest, I did manage to eat it, in the end, so I figured it didn’t matter, anyway. I was just trying to be a good guest.”

Igneous and Cloudy looked at me, then at each other, then smiled.

“We greatly appreciate the gesture, Dave,” said Cloudy. “However, if rock foods do not suit thee, we would not have you suffer for it. You need only have said so from the start.”

“Indeed,” said Igneous, nodding. “Thou art our honored guest, and thy well-being is uppermost to us, as thine hosts. Do not be afraid to speaketh your mind if something doth displease you. Pinkamena’s friends were much the same way.”

Were they? Well, that made me feel a little better about it.

“That’s very gracious of you, Igneous,” I said, inclining my head. “Thank you very much. It just amazes me how you all can eat them no problem.”

“Strong jaws have always run in the Pie family,” said Limestone. “Here, watch.”

She picked up a pebble about the size of a walnut, popped it into her mouth so I could see, held it between her teeth, and bit down. It cracked into pieces instantly. I stared, open-mouthed, as she crunched it up, then swallowed. She grinned at me, apparently pleased that she’d wowed me.

“A-And all of you can do that?” I spluttered.

I looked at Marble in particular. I could understand Pinkie being able to, but Marble? Such a sweet, delicate mare just didn’t look like one with a jaw of steel.

“Mm-hmm,” said Marble, nodding.

“Wow,” was all I could say.

Breakfast passed peacefully after that. As soon as she had finished eating, and she’d done so rather quickly, Limestone got up.

“I’d better get moving if I want to lay out the sun rocks,” she said. “It’s the first completely cloudless day we’ve had in a while, and those rocks need all the sun they can get.”

Igneous nodded knowledgeably.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to help, Limestone?” asked Marble.

“Nah, it’s fine, Marble,” said Limestone. “If I’m not back by lunch, then you can come check on me, but only then,” she added, firmly. “All right?”

“Mm-hmm,” said Marble.

“See ya later,” Limestone told me and Pinkie, then headed out the door.

About 15 minutes later, the rest of us had eaten our fill, and Cloudy and Grammy started clearing up.

“So, what do you wanna do, Davie?” Pinkie asked.

“Well, if it’s all right with you,” I said, “I’d love to take a look around the farm. It’s my first time really being on one of the rock variety, after all.”

“Yay!” squealed Pinkie, hopping up from her seat. “Come on, then, Davie! I’m gonna give you the grand tour! Coming, Marble?”

“Mm-hmm,” said Marble, standing up in turn.

Standing up myself, I followed the twins from the table and out of the house, while the elder Pies congregated to their seats before the fireplace, watching us out with smiles on their faces. 


***


The sun was shining in earnest as we stepped out, the air only mildly cold. There was no snow anywhere within the boundaries of the farm. Even Holder’s Boulder was free of it. Pinkie was prattling on so quickly, it was hard to keep track of everything she was saying.

“...and so, every so often, we have to rotate rocks from one field to the next. Each field’s soil’s a teensy bit different from each other, so doing that lets them get an even soaking of dirt minerals from each one. Dad always says…”

I’d have to ask her for a condensed version later. Marble didn’t input anything herself. She seemed content just to walk between the two of us. On occasion, though, Pinkie would say something like ‘Right, Marble?’, and Marble would reply with a simple ‘Mm-hmm’. She could rival Big Mac for monosyllabic answers. 

As we walked, we came right up to the fence that separated the fields from the farm’s quarry. Without even thinking, I looked over...and down. My stomach flip-flopped inside me, and an unpleasant swooping feeling hit me in the chest. It was a very deep drop down, and it looked like it led to a mine. Pinkie had mentioned that Limestone had one. Thankfully, Pinkie pulled me away before my vertigo made me topple over.

Speaking of Limestone, we came upon her as we continued our circuit to the rear of the farmhouse. She was arranging flattish rocks in neat rows along the ground, her brows furrowed in concentration. She was casting a critical eye over everything, nudging this rock or that every so often with her hoof or nose. She was displaying a level of obsessive-compulsion that Twilight would have envied.

“Hi, Limestone,” I said, casually.

“What?!”

She looked up, scowling in a way that intimidated me. When she saw who it was, however, she relaxed.

“Oh, it’s you guys. Sorry, but I’m trying to concentrate.”

“Sorry,” I said. “I’m just curious: what exactly are you doing?”

“Like I said at breakfast,” said Limestone, her eyes back on her work, “laying out the sun rocks. It’s about time, too.”

“So these rocks are affected by sunlight?” I asked.

“Yep,” said Limestone. “These are rocks we use in cooking, so letting them heat up in the sun brings their full flavor out.” 

“I see,” I said, though I’d never considered the concept of rocks having ‘full flavor’. “I’d never have been able to tell.”

“It’s a knack,” said Limestone, shrugging. “Knowing the difference between rocks and how to get the best out of them’s what makes a Pie a Pie.”

“Mm-hmm,” concurred Marble.

“Now, do you think you guys could leave me to this? They have to sun-bake for a precise amount of time, and I can’t be a second off.”

“Oh, er, right, of course,” I said. “Excuse me.”

We continued on, though I glanced back at Limestone, who was now swapping the positions of two rocks.

“How come she wants to work by herself?” I asked. 

“Limestone likes working alone,” said Pinkie. “She’s pretty stubborn that way, kinda like Dad.”

“But don’t you usually help her, Marble?”

“I do,” said Marble, “but she never asks me to directly. I just step in to lend a hoof, and she doesn’t say a word about it. Besides, Limestone’s never been much of a…”

She paused, trying to find the right words.

“Guest pony,” she finished, delicately. “She’s not very comfortable around guests,” she elaborated, seeing the blank look on my face. “Neither am I, to tell you the truth.”

“Really?” I asked, bewildered. “But both of you seem just fine to me.”

Marble’s gray cheeks went faintly pink.

“That’s because you’re Pinkie’s friend,” she said. “And you’re the only other one here. When there’s too many ponies, I...Well, I kind of lock up, and I can barely string two words together.”

“Oh, Marble, it’s fine,” said Pinkie, nuzzling up to her. “We love you just the way you are.”

Marble blushed even deeper, and muttered something unintelligible.

“I know the feeling, Marble, trust me,” I said. “I was always a shy kid, and I hated being out in crowds, even as a teenager. I preferred being by myself. Pinkie’s helped me start changing that, though.”

Pinkie beamed. Marble gave me a small smile.

“Limestone’s a little awkward around company, too,” she said. “She usually puts her farm duties first, so she’s not always in the best mood when ponies come to call.”

“That’s why I call her ‘Captain Grumpy’,” said Pinkie, brightly.

(How charming,) I thought, sardonically. (I’ll bet she really appreciates that.)

“She’s always had a bit of a temper, even when we were foals,” said Marble, “but we all know she means well.”

“I don’t doubt that,” I said. “You all seem like a very close-knit family, even if I haven’t met all of you yet.”

“Oh, I’m sure Maud would love to get to know you,” said Marble.

“That’s what Pinkie keeps telling me,” I said, gesturing to her with my thumb.

“Next chance I get,” said Pinkie, “I’m writing to her and telling her to drop by Ponyville the next time she’s on break! She can’t spend her whole life buried under books and rocks! ...Owie, that sounds like it would really hurt. Then again, it’s Maud, so…”

Marble and I exchanged looks, then had to suppress our laughter. Typical Pinkie Pie.


***


After wandering around the farm and taking in what it had to offer, Pinkie and Marble took me on a walk to the nearby village. This consisted of numerous gray and tan dwellings that well matched the landscape, a marketplace, shops, and some domestic businesses, like a doctor’s office, a blacksmith’s, a bookstore, and an assayer’s. This last seemed to be the most profitable, given its appearance, which I supposed made sense, given the huge emphasis on rocks and minerals in this part of Equestria. I wondered just how much precious stuff could be found in a single chunk of Equestrian dirt.

The townsfolk were all Earth ponies, their coats various shades of brown and gray. It felt like I was walking through a sepia-toned photograph. They were a fairly pleasant lot, though I did get a fresh round of gapes for being a human in their midst. I was pretty much used to it by now. Pinkie and Marble seemed to be acquainted with pretty much everypony there, as constant greetings and questions on how the family was faring were thrown their way. Marble, true to what she’d told me, clammed up and kept her eyes to the ground, letting Pinkie do all the talking. And boy, did she.

“Hiya, Dr. Shale! He’s doing just dandy, thanks! Stone Spice Soup, yep-yep! Grammy says hi, Mr. Carbuncle, and she hasn’t forgotten about that last chess match you two had. Oh, congratulations, Mrs. Bismuth! What an adorable little foal! I had no idea!”

The way Pinkie went on, you’d think she’d lived out here her whole life and had never left for Ponyville. A lot of these ponies must have known her when she was just a little filly. I could only imagine how happy and proud they must have been to see her again, all grown up.

At last, when I’d taken a good look about me and seen what the village had in store, for when I felt like taking a walk back over, Pinkie said it was time we ought to be heading back. Frankly, I think the main reason was because her stomach was growling for some lunch. I heard it right before she’d made that decision. I said nothing about it, however, and let her lead on. I felt it sensible that I didn’t wear out the novelty of what the village had; it would still be relatively fresh when I decided to visit it again.


***


After lunch back at the farm, the Pies and I settled cozily in the living room area. Limestone had rejoined us, finally satisfied that her sun rocks were all placed properly, and she had already designated a time to take them out of the heat. She and Marble were lying on the rug, while Pinkie was sitting with me on the sofa. I offered to let them use it, but they both declined, saying that, as the guests, Pinkie and I deserved it.

“So, Dave,” said Igneous, “what thinketh you of our little patch of Equestria?”

“Well, I have to say,” I said, “it’s more than I imagined at first. I mean, I don’t know all that much about rock farming, so I can’t be a proper judge of it.”

Something sparkled in Igneous’ eye, and he sat up straighter.

“Well,” he said, “if it’s knowledge of rock farming you require, look no further.”

“Uh oh,” said Marble.

“You’ve done it now, Dave,” muttered Limestone, in a teasingly warning tone.

“Done what?” I asked, puzzled.

“I, Igneous Rock Pie, son of Feldspar Granite Pie, shall satiate your thirst for knowledge of the noble practice of rock farming,” said Igneous, grandly.

Oh. This definitely did not bode well. I was in for a lecture, wasn’t I?

Then again, I was an ambassador, and he was offering to share what he felt was an informative speech on something he was passionate about. A refusal would have been out of the question. And after all, I was a little curious to know a little more about the life Pinkie had left behind, so, why not?

“Oh, for goodness sake, Igneous,” said Grammy, “I don’t think Dave wants to hear all that.”

“No, no!” I said, hastily. “I do! I’d be honored, Igneous. Ever since Pinkie first mentioned being raised here, I’ve been curious to know more about rock farming.”

“Well, suit yourself, dearie,” said Grammy, with a shrug. “He’s given this speech so many times, he knows it off by heart.”

“Now, now, Mother,” said Igneous. “If he wants to hear, he’ll hear.”

“I just wish I had a notebook handy,” I said. “I don’t want to miss anything.”

“You should’ve brought your old one, silly,” said Pinkie, with a giggle. “But here, you can use this one.”

And from out of her mane, she pulled out a spiral notebook, its cover the same shade of yellow as her cutie mark balloons, as well as a pen with a bobblehead on top. She grinned proudly as she handed them over to me.

“Er, thanks,” I said.

“You’re not the first to wish to hear how our way of life came about,” said Igneous. “I recall an odd stallion who came by years ago, who was very eager to hear the history of our farm. I haven’t seen him since. A pity; he displayed more enthusiasm for our trade than many a pony who has visited us. Well, are you ready, Dave?”

“Ready and waiting, Igneous,” I said, with the notebook open to a fresh page, pen poised.

“Well, then, let me see...It was many, many moons ago, when our noble ancestor, Holder Cobblestone, first came to this part of Equestria…”


***


I was so lucky I had gone to the spa. If I had taken these notes with my hand still in bad shape, it might have fallen off at the wrist. Igneous spoke on and on about the Pie family legacy, how Holder Cobblestone first found Holder’s Boulder, how the farm had been built around it, how a combination of parasprite infestations and close ties to dragon culture shaped their rock-rich diet, the achievements of their foreponies, etc. Grammy hadn’t been kidding; the way he talked, it was clear he had given this speech many times before, and hadn’t grown tired of it yet. 

Cloudy and Grammy both sat with their eyes closed, though I couldn’t tell if they were asleep or just listening intently. As for the three Pie sisters, only Limestone looked truly awake. Marble’s eyelids were very droopy, and she kept giving a start, trying to keep them open. Pinkie was unashamedly asleep, having given up mimicking her father’s movements behind his back several minutes into the lecture. She was snoring, leaning against my side and drooling on my arm, which was both distracting and disgusting. Igneous didn’t seem to care about this lack of attention on his daughter’s part; perhaps he’d drilled this speech into the three of them so many times that he was confident they wouldn’t forget.

The sun was actually beginning to set by the time Igneous finally began to wrap it up. My hand was aching all over again, and trying to shorthand his main talking points had been a real chore. I had to sift through the Ye Olde Equestrian he peppered his speech with, so more often than not, I had to ask him to repeat something so I could get it down, then decipher that into plain English.

And yet, in spite of all of these frustrations, not a word of complaint escaped me. I was not about to get on Igneous’ bad side again, nor would I sully my image as a representative of the Round Table. If I could sit through Twilight’s study cram session on the train, I could sit through this.

“...And that is where we stand today, and never have we forgotten our humble beginnings,” Igneous concluded.

There was a sudden burst of applause from all of the family. They seemed to have snapped to attention when they heard Igneous wrapping up, and wanted to appear as though they had been listening. Igneous inclined his head in acknowledgement, then looked at a pocket watch he had just drawn out.

“Egads,” he said. “It’s nearly dinnertime. Well, Dave, has that lesson given you food for thought?”

“A real feast for thought, Igneous,” I said, with a rather weak smile. “I had no idea rock farming was steeped in such, er, rich history.”

“Now you do,” said Igneous, proudly. “And never forget it.”

(Oh, trust me, I don’t think I’ll be getting this out of my head anytime soon.)


***


After dinner, I was feeling full and pretty tired, so I excused myself to lie down upstairs. Listening to Igneous drone on had drained me fairly, but part of me was glad I’d survived it. I’d stayed in his good books, and I’d set a good example as a member of the Council. Besides that, I wondered if Ironmane might not be interested in the notes I’d taken.

I felt like I’d just settled myself onto my mattress when I heard hoofsteps coming upstairs. They were too slow to be recognizable as Pinkie’s. Instead, it was Marble.

“Hi,” she said.

“Hey there,” I said. “What are you doing up here?”

“I was going to help Limestone lay out the moon rocks, since the sun rocks got all the sun they needed, but I was just too exhausted,” she said, giving off a huge yawn. “Listening to Dad talk for that long really took it out of me.”

(Join the club. Also, moon rocks? Really?)

“So, do you mind if I keep you company? Pinkie’s going to be a while on finishing dessert.”

“No, I don’t mind,” I said, shifting over.

Marble crossed over and lay down next to me, stretched out on her back, one hoof resting on her belly. She was still noticeably thinner than Pinkie, another point that would’ve made me doubt them being twins.

“I think I ate too much, too,” she muttered, giving her stomach a pat or two. “But Grammy’s cooking is so good! I swear, she spoils us sometimes.”

“Heh, I have a grandmother like that,” I said, chuckling. “It just means they care. At least you and Limestone can work it off doing farm work.”

“Oh, sure,” said Marble. “I don’t know how Pinkie does it. She eats more sweets than all of us combined, but she’s got way more energy with no sign of crashing.”

“I know,” I said. “I’m starting to learn never to question anything about her, if I don’t want to lose my mind trying to find an answer.”

Marble giggled.

“But I love my ‘big’ sister,” she said, contentedly, “no matter how...weird she is sometimes.”

I smiled. For some time, Marble and I just lay there, side by side, staring up at the underside of the upper bunk, as though stargazing. Then, as if of it’s own accord, a question floated into my mind.

“Hey, Marble?” I asked.

“Hmm?”

“Do you still write poetry? Pinkie told me you had a whole book full of it.”

Marble looked mildly surprised.

“Oh! Well, yes, I do, but, I’m not that good of a poet,” she said, modestly. “Maud’s a lot better at it than I am.”

“I’d still love to hear some of it, if that’s all right,” I said.

Marble hesitated.

“Well, all right,” she said. “I did just write one fairly recently, so it’s still fresh on my mind. I call it, ‘Ode to a Rolling Stone’.”

“I like the sound of it already,” I said, though I doubted that it had anything to do with Mick Jagger or Keith Richards.

Both of us sat up, putting our backs up to the wall. Marble cleared her throat, brushed her bangs aside, and, her eyes closed, recited,

“Ode to a Rolling Stone

I saw you sitting on the ground
With other rocks strewn all around
Yet out of all of those I found
You stood out alone

Round as a ball, smooth as glass
You had in looks what you lacked in mass
I thought, ‘You really have some class
I like you, little stone’

I gave you a nudge, you started to roll
Like a golf ball heading for its hole
Was this your plan, your aim, your goal
I really should have known

I kept you going, all the same
And before I knew, it soon became
Like some fun and foalish game
To roll you, little stone

But then I nudged you further still
And though it was against my will
That nudge sent you straight down a hill
The blame was all my own

Down you rolled, with all your might
Until you rolled right out of sight
I still wonder, was it right?
Did you wish that, little stone?

To this day, I still don’t know
Where in Equestria you did go
Through rain and hail and sleet and snow
Still rolling on your own

Though your leaving was a loss
I won’t be sad, you’re your own boss
Never may you gather moss
Safe travels, little stone”

She opened her eyes and looked up at me, expectantly. I just sat there, mouth hanging open.

“Marble,” I breathed. “That was incredible! You thought that up yourself?”

“Mm-hmm,” she mumbled, looking bashful.

“Wow. That’s way better than anything I could ever think up,” I said, honestly.

“Thank you. It’s more of a hobby, really. My real talent’s sculpting the rocks we farm. It’s how I got my cutie mark.”

She looked down at the trio of purple marbles adorning her flank.

“Wow,” I said. “And here I was thinking you were probably some undefeated champion at marbles.”

Marble stared at me for a second or two, as though she didn’t think she’d heard me right, then burst into a hearty fit of giggles, to the point where she leaned over against my side as she did. I stared at her, perplexed. 

“Was it really that funny?” I asked.

“It was just, the way you said it,” said Marble. “It’s the same way Pinkie says stuff like that: so direct that it’s hilarious. You really have hung around with her a lot.”

Now I couldn’t help laughing. It was all too true, after all. For some time, Marble just leant against me, giggling. Almost reflexively, I put a friendly arm around her shoulders, partially to support her. Then, just as she was settling down, there was the sound of more hooves on the stairs, and this time, Pinkie did appear, followed by Limestone. They stopped at the sight of us, and Pinkie’s expression transitioned from mild surprise to a glowing smile.

“Awwww,” she said. “Look at you two, spending some bonding time together!”

Marble’s cheeks went scarlet, and she looked down at her hooves, though she didn’t try to break away. I didn’t think she ought to feel guilty for enjoying a little fun with a friend. Then again, she must’ve known better than I did how it felt for Pinkie to just bluntly pop up unexpectedly.

“Heh,” chuckled Limestone, grinning. “You two having a blast up here?”

Marble didn’t answer.

“Ah, well, you know,” I said, giving Marble’s shoulders a light squeeze, “just a little fun between fellow art appreciators. Right, Marble?”

Marble looked at me for several seconds. She was no longer blushing, and a small, gentle smile came back to her muzzle.

“Mm-hmm.”

Tuesday, February 19

> *Alternate POV* Doings Elsewhere
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

As she approached the apartment door she knew so well, Octavia couldn’t hold back an anxious sigh. She had done the unthinkable: she had come to Ponyville without telling Vinyl in advance. She had a perfectly good reason for it, of course, but she was still in a state of mild trepidation.

“Celestia only knows what state her home’s in now,” she muttered to herself. “She only puts in the effort to clean when she knows I’m coming. Well, this is partially why I didn’t let her know. I have to see for myself just how bad she lets it get.”

Taking a deep breath, she knocked on the door. Ten seconds passed. No response. 

“Tch,” muttered Octavia. “Probably napping until her next show. How anypony can just sleep the day away like that is beyond me.”

She chose to willfully ignore the times she’d drunk herself to sleep on Jura on a stressful day, and knocked again, louder than before. Finally, she heard something: a loud thud, the metallic sound of soda cans clanging together, then a set of hoofsteps approaching the door, followed by a groan.

“Come on, some of us are trying to sleep,” came a voice Octavia recognized only too well. “Have a heart, will ya?”

“I do have a heart,” said Octavia, raising her voice. “That’s why I’m here, you mare-child.”

There was a pause. Then, the door opened. Vinyl stood there, horn aglow, her eyes wide, and her mane even more disheveled than usual.

“Octy?”

Octavia gave her a small, but genuine, smile.

“Hello, Vinyl.”

With a delighted laugh, all tiredness forgotten, Vinyl launched herself at Octavia, flinging her forelegs around her. While the latter would normally have been glad to receive such affection from her dear friend, she was not overly fond of the smell of stale sweat coming from her.

“Good heavens, Vinyl!” she choked. “When’s the last time you showered?”

“Eh, just never got around to it today,” said Vinyl, dismissively, letting her go. “Why didn’t you tell me you were coming, Octy? I would’ve gotten things ready for ya!”

“Slight change of pace,” said Octavia, her nose still wrinkled from Vinyl’s odor. “There’s something I’d like to discuss with you.”

“Well, come on in, then!” said Vinyl, eagerly.

Octavia stepped inside, and one second later, she came to a halt, wincing at both the sight and smell of Vinyl’s apartment, in its natural, undisturbed state. 

Empty food containers, boxes, and cans littered the floor. Any laundry she had gone through was piled untidily in one corner, giving off a powerful, used aroma. The kitchen was visible from her vantage, and dishes were stacked high in the sink, still crusted with whatever Vinyl had been eating out of them. The couch had a very deep, pony-shaped impression in its ragged cushions, and the television was still on. An odor of sweat, stale food, and unwashed clothes hung like a presence over the whole scene, and this, Octavia grimly reflected, was only the living room.

“Make yourself at home,” said Vinyl, proudly, seemingly oblivious to her friend’s reaction.

“Er, right,” said Octavia. “Thank you.”

(Sweet Celestia, how has she survived!?)

She stepped gingerly through the detritus littering the floor and made her way to the couch. Smoothing one of the cushions as best she could, she settled herself upon it, upright. Vinyl, meanwhile, paused on the way to the kitchen.

“You want anything?” she asked.

“No, thank you,” said Octavia, politely.

Vinyl shrugged, disappeared into the kitchen, then came back with a bottle of orange soda held in her magic. She plopped herself unceremoniously next to Octavia, making the prim Earth pony start, flipped off the cap of her bottle, then took a generous swig. She gave a wipe at her mouth, licked her lips, and let off a rich belch. Octavia crinkled her nose in disgust as Vinyl patted her stomach in satisfaction.

“Scuze me,” she said, cracking a grin, making Octavia roll her eyes. “So, Octy, what’s on your mind? How come you’re not with your ensemble?”

“We’re currently not engaged at the moment,” said Octavia. “We’re on a bit of a break, as it were.”

“Sweet!” said Vinyl. “I mean, I’m not sayin’ you’re not doin’ somethin’ important with your music and all, but even ponies like you need time off.”

“And ponies like you could do with a little less leisure time,” said Octavia, with an slight bite in her voice. “Or, at the very least, put it to more constructive use.”

“Whoa, what’s that supposed to mean?” asked Vinyl, cocking an eyebrow.

“What’s it supposed to mean?” echoed Octavia, her voice rising, putting her hooves on her hips. “Vinyl, I know you enjoy wearing those sunglasses of yours at all hours, regardless of whether or not it’s sensible-”

Vinyl made a dismissive noise at this.

“-but are you actually blind? Have you looked at this place?”

She gestured around at the disorder surrounding them. Vinyl glanced around at it, nonplussed.

“So it’s a little messy, big deal,” she said, carelessly.

“A little messy?” Octavia repeated. “Vinyl, I never pictured you as the epitome of cleanliness, but this...How can you live this way?”

Vinyl merely shrugged.

“I just do, I guess. You know me, Octy: I don’t fuss about the details.”

Octavia took a deep breath, and sighed. Yes, Vinyl’s ability to stay cool as a cucumber, even in the most trying circumstances, was admirable, but this was just ridiculous!

“Vinyl,” she said, after a long pause, “the reason I came here, one of the reasons, anyway, is because I’ve made an important decision.”

“Yeah?” asked Vinyl, sounding mildly interested. “What’s that?”

“I’ve decided...to move to Ponyville.”

Whatever Vinyl had been expecting her to say, it was clear that this wasn’t it. Her eyes went as wide as dinner plates, her jaw dropping. She stared at Octavia, dumbstruck.

“Are you serious?” she asked, finally.

“I am,” said Octavia, nodding.

Vinyl’s expression of disbelief gave way to one of unmitigated joy. She had the look of one who had just been told Hearth’s Warming was coming early that year.

“Octy, that’s fantastic news!” she said, then asked, with a hint of smugness. “Ponyville’s really grown on you, hasn’t it? It’s not like Canterlot, is it?”

“It has an undeniable charm, yes,” Octavia conceded. “It certainly has a calmer atmosphere than the hustle and bustle of Canterlot. However, I’m not just moving here.”

Vinyl cocked a curious eyebrow again, waiting for Octavia to continue. After a pause, the prim Earth pony said,

“I would like for you to move in with me.”

Now, if the news that Octavia was leaving Canterlot to move to Ponyville was unexpected, it was nothing compared to this. Vinyl’s expression became blank, as though she was certain she hadn’t heard correctly.

“...Scuze me?” she asked, finally.

“If you’re willing,” said Octavia, “I would very much like it if you were to move in with me. I’ve already found a nice house just outside of Ponyville. With a little TLC, we can make it work to accommodate both of our work-lives. At all events, you won’t be getting noise complaints from neighbors anymore.”

Vinyl simply stared. Then, she snickered.

“Octy,” she said, “you’re pulling my leg.”

“I assure you, I’m not.”

Vinyl’s smile faded.

“Why?” she asked. “I can totally get behind you moving to Ponyville, but why do you want me to live with you? I figured you wouldn’t want to be around me 24/7.”

Octavia sighed. How was she supposed to help Vinyl understand?

“Vinyl,” she said, speaking slowly and deliberately, “the other reason I came to see you, without telling you in advance, was because I needed to see for myself what your living conditions were truly like. I had a feeling they were, well, rather poor, but I hadn’t realized they would be as bad as this. Let me finish,” she added, sharply, as Vinyl seemed about to interrupt. 

“You only ever clean this place up when you know I’m coming to visit. You freely admit it yourself. Now I see that without me, you let this place, and yourself, go to pot. You can’t really be as happy about it as you’re letting on. I can’t help but feel that my absence is somehow responsible for this lack of attention to your own health. That worries me,” she added, her voice taking on a much gentler tone. “You can scoff and mock me all you want for being ‘sappy’, but I really, truly care about your well-being, Vinyl. I want to help you.”

Vinyl’s mouth was hanging slightly open. She seemed to be trying to find the right words, but couldn’t.

“I also can’t deny,” Octavia continued, with a wry smile, “that despite how much you get under my skin, I miss being around you. You, Vinyl Scratch, are a crass, obnoxious, loud, immature, overly-boisterous mare...but you’re also my best friend. I know the real you underneath all the wubs and partying, and it’s the real you that I want to save from living a second longer under these appalling conditions.”

She looked Vinyl straight in the eye, and the unicorn DJ was startled to see a sparkle of tears in those mulberry eyes of hers. She was serious. Words continued to fail her, something normally unthinkable for a pony like her.

“Octy,” she said, “this is some heavy stuff you’re laying down. I mean, I dunno what to say.”

Octavia placed a hoof on Vinyl’s shoulder.

“It’s all right, Vinyl,” she said. “You don’t have to choose right away. I’ve already decided on that house, whether or not you say yes. Please, just give it some thought, all right?”

Vinyl gazed into Octavia’s eyes for a long while. There wasn’t much of anything that could reduce her to such a state of serious silence, and yet, if ever there was, it was sure to be because of the pony sitting next to her right now. At last, she nodded.

“I’ll definitely think about it, Octy,” she said.

“Thank you,” said Octavia, in a quiet yet grateful tone. “Now, I hate to cut this short, but I’ve got to get down to city hall to finalize the paperwork.”

“Oh, right,” said Vinyl. “Well, don’t let me keep ya.”

Octavia smiled, and was about to sit up again, but before she did, she pulled Vinyl into a firm but gentle embrace. Vinyl was taken aback at first, but she soon hugged Octavia in return.

“In all seriousness,” said Octavia, a slight laugh in her voice, “you really could do with a good shower, Vinyl.”

“Oh, shut up,” said Vinyl, laughing herself.


***


“Hold the bottle tight, my dear, don’t let it slip. Remember what I told you: a dash, a drop, a drip.”

Apple Bloom was seated on the floor of Zecora’s hut, a potted seedling sitting in front of her. Zecora stood by her, watching, as the little filly, her tongue poking out in concentration, held a bottle of purplish-blue liquid in her hooves. She was holding the mouth of it over the seedling, the contents nearly close enough to the lip to start pouring out.

Unfortunately, Apple Bloom had been holding the bottle in that attitude for too long, it seemed. Her hooves trembled from trying to hold it steady, and in doing so, a large dollop of the liquid splashed onto the seedling. There was a puff of thick, blue smoke, and she started coughing as Zecora immediately grabbed a nearby palm fan and wafted the fumes away. Once they were gone, they saw that the seedling had become shriveled and dead-looking. Apple Bloom set the bottle down, looking glum.

“Ah’m never gonna get it right,” she said, sadly.

“Now, Apple Bloom, don’t you fret,” said Zecora, putting her hoof under Apple Bloom’s chin to tilt her head up. “You will do it the right way yet.”

“But Ah figured I’d already have learned somethin’ from helpin’ you out so much,” said Apple Bloom. “Ah mean, you’re really good at it.”

Zecora smiled gently.

“We all start from the beginning with whatever we do,” she said. “Why, even I failed the first time I tried to brew.”

Apple Bloom stared in disbelief.

“You? You messed up a potion?” she asked. “Ah don’t believe that!”

“I am not telling fibs, my little filly. It truly happened, and it was rather silly.”

“What happened?” asked Apple Bloom, eagerly.

Zecora went to one of her shelves and took down a small, drawstring bag. She then sat down beside Apple Bloom, gently shooing aside the shriveled seedling and the bottle of potion in the process. She took a hooful of the powder and blew it into the air, where it twisted and swirled into shapes, following Zecora as she narrated. Prominent was the image of a tiny little zebra, Zecora as a foal.

“I was about your age, give or take a year or two, when I decided it was time to try my first brew. My mother had been teaching me, you see, and on that day, I could not contain my glee. She wished to start me with something easy, but I found her warnings to be quite cheesy. I wanted to make a most amazing brew. I felt it was only fitting for my debut.”

“Wow,” said Apple Bloom, intrigued. “What kind of potion were you tryin’ to make?”

Zecora gave her a meek smile.

“To be honest, my dear, I don’t really know. I just grabbed what was handy and gave that a go. I was not picky, and there was much to pick at. I threw in a pinch of this, I dropped in a dash of that. My mother tried to warn me, but I was too eager to listen. I watched as my ingredients made the cauldron’s contents glisten. The potion was bubbling, frothing like mad, but I thought that was good. It made me feel glad.”

“So what happened?” asked Apple Bloom, eyes wide.

“My self-made concoction, my reckless recipe, blew up in the cauldron, splashed my mother and me.”

Apple Bloom gasped.

“W-Were you all right?” she spluttered. “What did it do to you?”

“Oh, we weren’t injured. We were quite all right,” said Zecora, with a rather grim smile. “Only, it turned green and blue what was once black and white.”

At first, Apple Bloom simply frowned, not quite understanding what Zecora meant. Then, as she looked at Zecora’s striped coat, her jaw fell open.

“Ya mean...it changed yer coat colors?” she asked.

Zecora nodded, chuckling. Apple Bloom started giggling, too.

“It could have been worse, you can be sure,” Zecora went on, “and it was not hard to find the cure. My mother was angry that I ignored her warning, but we soon came to laugh about it by next morning. She said, on the whole, it was not a bad start, and since then, I have taken her teachings to heart. I measure each ingredient, exact and precise, and by the end, the results are always very nice.”

The smoke imagery, which had twisted into a beaming little Zecora, faded away. Apple Bloom smiled up at it, then looked up at Zecora, who laid a hoof on her shoulder.

“We all start at the bottom, Apple Bloom, you see? It holds true for everypony out there. Even me. The important thing to remember is to never stop trying. In the end, the results will be quite satisfying.”

She smiled down at the little filly, who smiled back up at her and nuzzled her side. Zecora draped her foreleg tenderly around her.

“Thanks, Zecora,” said Apple Bloom. “That makes me feel a lot better. Yer right: Ah can only get better if I keep tryin’. ‘Course, I wonder if I’ll turn myself all sorts of colors, too, before Ah get there.”

Zecora burst into a hearty laugh at this, and Apple Bloom wasn’t long in joining in.


***


“...‘And they lived happily ever after. The End.’”

Nurse Redheart looked up from the book in her hooves. The little filly she had been reading to, Lily Longsocks, had been brought in with a bad cough and an alarming fever. It was the latest in a spate she and the rest of Ponyville’s medical staff had been dealing with since last week. The fever had died down somewhat, but Lily was still coughing in harsh fits, fits that looked painful to her, moreover. Redheart had decided to try and take her mind off her illness by reading her a story. Though it didn’t stop the coughing altogether, it seemed to lessen it as the Lily listened. Now, she lay snuggled up beneath her sheets, smiling up at her nurse with her blue eyes, her face framed by a pair of purple pigtails.

“Thanks, Nurse Redheart,” she said, her voice soft and a little hoarse. “I really like that story.”

Redheart smiled and patted the filly’s hoof.

“So do I, Lily. I could tell your favorite parts were with the princess’s animal friends.”

Lily giggled, though it broke off with a single cough.

“Now, then, it’s time for your medicine,” Nurse Redheart continued.

Lily groaned and pouted.

“Now, now,” said Redheart, in a gently reprimanding voice, “you have to take it, Lily. I know you’re quite strong for a filly your age, astonishingly so, in fact, but it’s not going to stop the flu. How else are you going to get better?”

“It’s so gross, though,” said Lily. “If it’s supposed to make me feel better, why can’t it taste good?”

Redheart laughed softly.

“You know, Lily, when I was your age, I’d often wonder the same thing. I didn’t like taking my medicine anymore than you did. However, my mother always gave me the same answer: ‘if it tastes bad for you, it’s even worse for what’s making you sick’. Well, I didn’t want to stay sick, so I took it. I always felt like spitting it back out, of course, but I took it all the same. I suppose if medicine tasted too good, the germs making you sick wouldn’t want to go away.”

“I do want the germs to go away,” said Lily, quietly, though she still didn’t sound too happy.

Smiling, Redheart reached over to her bedside cabinet, upon which was sitting a bottle and medicine cup, and poured out a measure of brownish liquid. Lily wrinkled her nose at the strong smell that came off of it. As Redheart held out the cup for her, she hesitated at her first, her muzzle scrunched up, but at last, she opened her lips, and Redheart gently poured the contents into her mouth. Lily’s face screwed up worse than ever, and for a second, it looked like she would spit the medicine right back out, but she swallowed, pulled a face, and said ‘Blegh’.

“Good girl,” said Redheart, setting the cup down. “Now, try and get some sleep, all right?”

Lily nodded, then settled back on her pillow, closing her eyes. With a soft smile, Redheart stroked her mane in a fond sort of way, then stood up and softly left the ward. She didn’t hear a single cough come from Lily as she closed the door behind her. The sound of hooves made her look up. Nurse Snowheart was coming down the hallway.

“Hello, Redheart,” she said, lowering her voice. “How’s Lily doing?”

“Much better,” said Redheart. “I sat up with her and read her her favorite story, then gave her her medicine. Her fever’s almost gone, and she’s coughing less.”

“That’s good,” said Snowheart, smiling. “I’ve just been to visit Screw Loose. It’s the darndest thing, but she’s really been improving lately. She still won’t speak, but she hasn’t been doing anything…’doggish’ the last few days. With any luck, we’ll finally be able to let her go out again.”

“Oh, wonderful!” said Redheart, happily. “Dr. Stable will be really pleased to hear that.”

“So will Screwball,” said Snowheart. “In fact, it’s almost time for her visit. Should I go meet her, or should you?”

“I’ll do it,” said Redheart.

“Thanks. I’ll go report to Dr. Stable, then.”

With that, the two nurses separated, Redheart heading for the main lobby. She couldn’t quite remember now just how long Screw Loose had been a patient here. She could, however, still vaguely recall her first being brought in, barking and howling like a caged dog. It hadn’t been easy figuring out what to do for her, as she was in no state to speak intelligibly. However, Redheart had noticed, as Snowheart had, that recently, she was much tamer than she had been before, less inclined to act like the dog she must’ve thought she was. Seeing patients overcoming their ailments and becoming happy again was what Redheart loved most about her job. The smiles on their faces, knowing that the worst was over, was her favorite thing to see.

(Just like Pinkie Pie), she thought to herself, with a smile.

As she came out into the lobby, there, sure enough, was Screwball. She must’ve just walked in. Upon catching sight of Nurse Redheart, the quirky pony’s face broke into a big smile, and she slid across the floor to stand in front of her, as though she had been pushed across a bed of ice. Redheart had become far too used to Screwball’s ‘peculiarities’ to pay much mind to them these days.

“Hello, Screwball,” she said, kindly. “I hope you’re doing well today.”

Screwball nodded, her head jangling as though full of keys. She then pointed at Redheart, raising one eyebrow inquisitively.

“Why, I’m doing wonderfully, thank you,” said Redheart, “and somepony you know very well is feeling just the same, I hear.”

Screwball’s smile became, if possible, even broader. They even glinted in the glare of the lobby’s ceiling lights, though it was a whole rainbow of colors rather than a simple flash of white.

“Come on, then,” said Redheart. “She’ll be really happy to see you.”

The two started off down the hallway, Screwball keeping very close to Redheart’s side, so close that they were cheek to cheek. Redheart said nothing. She merely smiled. It wasn’t just the happiness of her patients that she loved to see; the joy of their friends and loved ones was equally warming to her already warm heart.


***


The rain was coming down in buckets, hammering against the curtain-covered windows of Daring Do’s cottage. Daring herself was sitting before the fire, cozily drinking in the atmosphere. She was warm, dry, and comfortable, and had no intention of getting up anytime soon. After the busy month she’d had, which involved giving one of Caballeron’s goons, who had been tailing her, the slip (a rather hard task, as he was as persistent as he was dim), and tricking another one out of the map he’d been carrying by way of a clever disguise, she felt she rightfully earned a little siesta.

“I’ll look into that map tomorrow,” she muttered, drowsily. “It’s not going anywhere anytime soon. Besides, this is no weather to go adventuring in.”

All of a sudden, there came a knock at the front door. Daring sat up, her ears perked, her eyes narrowed. Had Caballeron and his goons found her after all? If so, she had to admire their tenacity in braving this downpour.

With a rapidity that only constant practice had turned into a near-reflex, she launched herself from her favorite armchair, opened a nearby wardrobe, and whipped out her ‘A.K. Yearling’ ensemble. As she started dressing herself, she couldn’t help grinning. Velvet had advised her to come up with a disguise to go along with her alias, and the look of a middle-aged and mild mare was the perfect cover; it gave ponies the proper impression of an author when they saw her photograph in the backs of her books. Some had even joked, in letters, that she looked like she could be ‘Daring Do’s mother’. She took that as a compliment; it meant it worked perfectly.

Ensuring that she was still unrecognizable as her true self, she hurried to the door as another knock came. It sounded urgent.

“Who is it?” she called.

“Somepony in desperate need of shelter,” came a voice.

It was muffled, but it sounded like a colt’s. Daring hesitated. Should she let him in? What if he was in league with Caballeron or Ahuizotl? She wouldn’t put it past them to lure her into a false sense of security, especially after what happened with-

She winced. She hated being reminded of that moment…

“Please,” came the voice, imploringly.

Daring bit her lip.

“All right, come in,” she said, finally, opening the door.

Somepony slightly taller than she was hurried inside, a thick, hooded raincoat enveloping him and keeping his face hidden. As she shut the door against the pounding rain, the stranger stood there, shivering slightly, his coat dripping onto the floor.

“Some weather the pegasi have cooked up, huh?” asked Daring.

“And how,” said the stranger. “I’m sorry for the intrusion. The rain caught me unawares while I was walking, and your home was the only shelter in sight.”

“Oh, don’t worry about it,” said Daring, waving an airy hoof. “I couldn’t just turn you away like that, not in this weather. I wouldn’t wish this on my worst enemies. Now, why don’t you take that coat off and go warm yourself by the fire?”

“Gladly.”

There was a flare of earth-brown light from beneath the coat’s hood, and the whole thing was whisked off to be set on the rack by the door. Bereft of his outer covering, the stranger was now revealed to be a unicorn colt in his early teens. His coat was a sandy yellow, his short, boyish mane and tail chocolate brown, like his eyes. There were a few freckles at the bridge of his nose, and his cutie mark resembled a wooden stick shaped like an elongated letter Y.

Daring stared at him, her eyes searching him up and down, frowning slightly. There was something about this colt, something...familiar, but what- 

Then, as her gaze took in his cutie mark, her mouth fell open. She stared up into the mild, placid face of the colt before her.

“You...it can’t be,” she murmured.

Slowly, she took off her glasses, still staring. 

“Dowser?”

The colt smiled broadly.

“It’s good to see you again, Daring,” he said. “Even after this long, I still remember where your house is, like the back of my hoof. And even if that disguise does work really well, I’d know your voice anywhere.”

Daring continued to stare, her rose-colored eyes wide and goggling. 

“B-But, I mean, what are you doing here?” she finally spluttered. “I thought-”

Dowser raised an amused eyebrow.

“What, no ‘hello’? No ‘how are you’? Wow, Daring, has it really been that long? You’ve gotten cold.”

This seemed to shake Daring out of her stupor, as she smiled and gave a slight giggle.

“You know I didn’t mean it like that,” she said.

She trotted over, leaned up, and threw her foreleg around his neck in a warm hug. Beaming, Dowser draped a foreleg around her in turn.

“It’s good to see you, too, kiddo,” she said, pulling away from him. “I still can’t believe it! This can’t be the little Dowser who tagged along with me so many times! It’s only been, what, a year or two?”

Dowser chuckled.

“Hard to believe, isn’t it?” he asked. “I was afraid you wouldn’t recognize me at all. I’m glad you did.”

Daring smiled, then clapped a hoof to her forehead, as though reminded of something.

“Ah, look at me,” she said, “leaving you standing here after you just came in from the rain! Please, make yourself comfortable!”

“Thanks,” said Dowser.

He set himself on a second armchair set before the fire, while Daring bustled off to the kitchen. She returned with a tea tray balanced across her back, held in place by her wings. She had dispensed with her disguise as well. She set the tray down on a coffee table set between the chairs, poured out tea for both of them, then sat down in the one she had vacated only minutes before, holding her own cup.

“How’ve you been doing?” she asked. “I know the last time we saw each other wasn’t…”

She paused, trying to find a proper word while looking guiltily at Dowser. However, he gave her a kind smile.

“I’ve been doing great,” said Dowser. “I may not have been traveling the world with you, but my own adventures are what bring me here.”

Daring’s face relaxed into a smile of its own.

“I picked up your series, and looked through the last bit on my airship ride over here,” said Dowser. “Reading your books is like a trip down memory lane, though since the last one was the last time we saw each other, I’m hoping you haven’t been idle all that time.”

Daring giggled.

“Not by a long shot,” she said. “I’ve got plenty of material ready to send to my friend and editor. I just don’t want to give my readers too much at once. I didn’t think you’d actually read them, though.”

“Of course I would,” said Dowser. “Although,” he added, wryly, “you write how things happened a lot better than I ever could, and you don’t mind details, either. Heh, remember when you got stuck in that hole in the wall, trying to grab the key to the Staff of Star Swirl’s chamber?”

Daring frowned slightly.

“I remember you taking your time coming to pull me out,” she said.

“I know, I know,” said Dowser, still grinning, “but it was hilarious: your rump and hind legs just sticking out of the wall, kicking like you were throwing a tantrum. You even wrote ‘the hole was obviously not made for a pony of Daring’s mareish figure’.”

“Tch,” said Daring. “If the key hadn’t been in so deep, I wouldn’t have gotten stuck.”

“I did offer to just magic it out,” said Dowser, “but nooo, you said they’d have planned for that. So, in your eyes, unicorn magic is less safe than just grabbing something with your bare hooves or wings.”

Daring rolled her eyes.

“Ok, ok, so I don’t always make the right decisions,” she conceded. “I’m only a pony at the end of the day.”

“I know,” said Dowser. “I was only teasing you.”

Daring’s face eventually relaxed back into a smile.

“You’re definitely still the same Dowser I remember,” she quipped. “Cheeky and cheerful.”

Dowser smirked.

“But enough about me,” said Daring. “I want to hear about what’s been going on with you. You never told me why you left the Pygmy Ponies.”

“Ahh, right,” said Dowser. “Well, they were very accommodating, especially after what we did to save them from Ahuizotl, and I stayed with them for several months after we parted. One day, though, I was browsing through some of their old texts when I read something that caught my interest.”

“Oh?” asked Daring. “What’s that?”

“Figuring that out,” said Dowser, his expression becoming more serious, “and going to see for myself, is why I’m here now.”

Daring raised an eyebrow.

“I’d only just come back to Equestria when I heard the news,” Dowser continued. “You know about the Brimstone Lounge opening up?”

“Of course,” said Daring. “Couldn’t believe it when I read about it, but it sounds fascinating. Plus, it’s about time ponies and dragons agreed on something for once.”

“I agree,” said Dowser. “But that’s not what caught my attention. Have you also heard about the human living in Ponyville?”

“Oh, sure,” said Daring, “but I didn’t need the papers to tell me that. He’s friends with my editor’s daughter. She told me about it in her last letter. Says he’s a nice guy and a member of Celestia’s council.”

“Really?” asked Dowser, intrigued. “Boy, times have changed since I was last in Equestria.”

“So, what’s he got to do with what you’ve been up to?” asked Daring.

Almost instinctively, Dowser looked this way and that, to make sure no one was listening. Then, he leaned in close. Daring leaned over as well, to catch what he was going to say.

“I’ve been across the sea,” he whispered. “I found it.”

Daring frowned slightly.

“Found what?” she asked.

Then, gradually, her eyes widened, her mouth falling open. She stared at Dowser, who gazed right back at her. There was no jest in his expression.

“You don’t mean-?”

He nodded.

“You saw-?”

He nodded again.

“Then are they-?”

“I’m not sure,” said Dowser. “I was only able to get so far. I have a few clues, but nothing more. Some of Ahuizotl’s furball minions were already prowling around, trying to find a key to move on, but they were wasting their time. The place is too well-protected to give up its secrets so easily.

“That’s why I came to find you. I’m not the explorer you are, Daring. This is something that only a pony like you could do. If Ahuizotl got his paws on something like this, it would mean disaster, even worse than his bid to control the Tenochtitlan Basin! Imagine him, controlling the likes of…”

He broke off, and laid his hoof on Daring’s.

“So, what do you say? Will you help me?”

He gazed earnestly and imploringly into her eyes. It was the same look he’d always worn when asking her to let him accompany her on another dangerous adventure. Slowly, the dumbstruck look on Daring’s face melted away into one of grim determination, a light dancing in her eyes.

The light of adventure.

“Of course. If adventure has a name, it’s surely Daring Do.”

> Albums and Archeology
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

What with getting acquainted to the farm and its neighborhood the previous day, today proved very casual. Limestone was busy again, this time down in the quarry. Cloudy was visiting a friend in the village. Igneous was out, too. He had an engagement with the blacksmith, Mr. Forge. Apparently, one of his pickaxes had chipped while breaking apart a sizeable chunk of rock, and he intended to give the smith a piece of his mind on its make.

“That’ll keep him busy all day,” said Grammy, confidentially, to me. “Igneous may be stubborn as a mule, but he’s got nothing on old Forge. That fella will defend his craft to the end.”

That left me with her, Pinkie, and Marble together. I was going to ask what we ought to do to pass the time, but Grammy forestalled this by saying,

“You know, I remember when Igneous had a spat just like that one with old Forge. It was quite some time ago. Now, where was it?”

And, from seemingly out of nowhere, she unearthed a truly massive photo album, and asked if I would like to take a look through it. 

My interest was piqued at the prospect of seeing the Pies’ past, so I settled on the couch next to her. We all inched closer together around Grammy, with me on her right side, Marble on her left, and Pinkie leaning over the back of the couch behind us. I hadn’t noticed before, but Grammy had a very pleasant smell about her: like vanilla and cinnamon, not unlike something I’d smell at Sugarcube Corner. I wondered how well the Cakes would get along with the Pies.

Ever since I was told about the girls looking through Pinkie’s foal pictures in one of their letters, I’d been interested to see what she’d been like as a ‘twinkie-Pinkie’. Well, pre-cutie mark Pinkie came as quite the surprise. Her normally vibrant coat and mane colors were much duller shades of pink than they were today. Her mane and tail were also straight-cut, like the rest of her sisters. There was no trace of the frizzy, poofy mess I’d come to know. Most shocking of all, though, was that she wasn’t smiling. None of the rest of the family were, except perhaps Grammy, but seeing Pinkie without a smile on her face just felt...off, like imagining a stupid Twilight or a feminine Rainbow Dash.

“Igneous was always a good father,” Grammy told me, as though to remove doubt on the subject. “Perhaps a bit strict before that Rainboom business, but he always meant to raise his girls the right way, and by Celestia, he did.”

Both Marble and Pinkie nuzzled her, and I smiled. There was no denying that.

However, even back then, Pinkie was still as adorable as a puppy, before and after getting her cutie mark. The state her mane was in when she first got her mark was hilariously cute. I more than once had to go ‘aww’ at seeing her at her foalish antics, the ones Grammy specifically pointed out: her first times eating certain pastries, her first time ice skating with Cloudy, the bonanza stone she’d discovered that had made Igneous so proud, shots with each of her sisters, etc. Pinkie looked positively gleeful at seeing my reactions, and she was giggling constantly. There was one picture, however, that ended her giggles pretty sharply, and her face went brick-red. It was from what Grammy said was a Jr. Rock Farmer’s Competition, and Pinkie had apparently brought the wrong type of rock.

“She was supposed to bring a Gneiss rock, but she brought some shale that hadn’t matured enough. She thought it was ‘absotivalutely nice enough’ to win the metamorphic competition.”

“Grammyyyyy!” Pinkie whined, keeping her face averted, her cheeks still crimson.

For her to be embarrassed about something like that was pretty bemusing, but then again, this was Pinkie Pie, and she was the daughter of rock farmers.

Heck, all of the sisters were cute as fillies. Marble and Limestone were not denied their own share of attention and love, though Marble was a lot more camera-shy if she was by herself. Seeing her smiling shyly with one of her sisters or her parents or Grammy by her side was just sweet, though I saw the present-day Marble blush whenever we came to pictures like this. She blushed even deeper when we came to one of her sitting in front of a rather crudely-carved stone, a tiny pickaxe before her. I couldn’t tell what it was supposed to be, though it vaguely looked like a pony.

“This was when she was working out her special talent,” said Grammy. “What was it you were trying to make, Marble?”

“It was supposed to be of Mom,” Marble mumbled, her cheeks beet-red. “She said she liked it, but I wish I’d done a better job.”

Limestone, too, seemed to rather be with somepony else in order to take a decent picture. Otherwise, she looked rather sullen and moody, though Grammy assured me that was ‘just her way’. I was glad, however, that she wasn’t around to see us come across a particular picture of her, with her head jammed between a pair of boulders. A complimentary photo showed Marble trying to dislodge her by tugging on her tail.

“She saw how easily Maud can pulverize large rocks,” said Grammy, “and wanted to give it a try for herself, with her head. Poor dear wouldn’t speak to anypony for a week after that, she was so embarrassed.”

It was here, also, in these albums, that I got my first glimpse of the ever-elusive Maud, the second-oldest. Her coat was a darker gray than Marble’s, her purple mane and tail as straight-cut as Twilight’s. She had blue eyes, and, as she got older, had added purple eyeshadow. She also had adopted her own sense of style as she grew up, wearing a long-hemmed, greenish-blue frock dress which obscured her rock cutie mark. Throughout 90% of the pictures, some of which involved her holding a small rock in her hoof, her expression was the same: unsmiling, indifferent, almost bored. The only time I saw her smile was in the collection of photos taken at Pinkie’s very first party, when all of the Pies were having a blast. It warmed my heart to see them all so happy.

There were also pictures of the elder Pies before the girls were born. Igneous, Cloudy, and Grammy all looked much younger in these photos. I also, for the first time, saw Pinkie’s grandfather, Grammy’s husband, and Igneous’ father, Feldspar Granite Pie. He and Igneous looked quite alike, except that Feldspar had a beard and rather thick eyebrows. Grammy herself boasted, with a twinkle in her eye, that she’d been ‘quite the looker’ back then, making both Pinkie and Marble giggle. In fact, apart from her mane style and cutie mark, she really could’ve passed off for an older-looking Pinkie; her colors were nearly identical. 

Igneous and Cloudy were rather solemn in their own pre-Rainboom pictures, and yet, I supposed that, in their own way, they were happy to be together. This was especially evident on a picture of their wedding, where they were clasping hooves, and they looked like they were just barely smiling. The mood was somewhat displaced by a following photo of Igneous, looking shocked as his pickaxe rebounded off a rock he was chipping and speared his hat. This put the company of Pies in stitches, as Grammy said that had led to his last argument with Forge.

(What a family,) I thought to myself, though it was in the most positive of ways.


***


The afternoon was wearing on by the time we reached the end of the book, and Grammy looked up at the clock.

“Good heavens, look at the time! I’ve still got a bad case of the rambles, looks like.”

“No, no, it’s all right, Grammy,” I said. “I really enjoyed that. I’d been wondering just how cute and crazy Pinkie had been as a filly, and I wasn’t disappointed,” I added, grinning at my pudgy pink pal.

“Aw, shucks,” said Pinkie, sounding pleasantly bashful.

“That’s sweet of you, dear,” said Grammy, smiling and tousling my hair affectionately.

“How long did Pinkie stick around after she got her cutie mark?” I asked.

“Oh, about a year or two,” said Grammy, and Pinkie nodded. “One day, she decided she wanted to spread smiles to as many ponies as she could, so she left for Ponyville with our blessing. She’s been doing a bang-up job of that, from what she’s told us.”

“Mm-hmm,” said Marble, nodding.

Pinkie beamed. Just then, we heard a pair of voices outside. It was Igneous and Cloudy, and it sounded like they were in the middle of a heated discussion.

“-don’t care what he says! I asked for the finest pickaxe he could provide, and if it chipped that easily on such a simple rock-”

“Igneous, you know Forge. His metalwork has always been long-lasting. Are you sure you didn’t confuse that pickaxe for an older one, one already worn down?”

“Cloudy, I think I wouldst know the difference between my own tools! If this shouldst happen again, I’m going straight back and-”

“Oh, Igneous, give it a rest.”

The front door opened, and the parental Pies walked in, Igneous looking grouchy, Cloudy looking exasperated. His eyes snapped to the four of us on the couch, but Grammy had wisely picked up the album again, and we were all pretending to be engrossed in it once more. To an outside eye, we hadn’t heard a word. Igneous therefore walked on, muttering quietly under his breath. We looked up as Cloudy passed, and she flashed us a quick smile, as if thanking us for leaving Igneous be about his little feud with Mr. Forge. We returned it.


***


Limestone, for her part, didn’t return until dinner time. She looked exhausted, but she seemed pleased with whatever it was she’d gotten done. I felt slightly bad for her. She said she wanted to hang around with me when she could spare time, but it looked like her farm duties were getting in the way of that. Of course, it wasn’t my place to say anything about it.

She must’ve known what I was thinking, because during dinner, when Grammy went to fetch dessert, Limestone stood up and looked right at me.

“Can I talk to ya for a sec, Dave?” she asked.

“Er, yeah, ok,” I said, slightly puzzled.

I stood up and followed her out, the rest of the Pies still occupied with food and talk. Still, I could sense Pinkie’s eyes following the two of us out. Limestone took me into the hallway, and I was starting to feel a sense of foreboding. What was so important for her to tell me that she needed to do it in secret? She stopped, and turned to look at me.

“I know I said I was gonna try to find time to do something with you,” she said, “but I haven’t been doing a good job of that, have I?”

She spoke quite gruffly. I couldn’t really detect sorrow or regret in her voice. Then again, Limestone hardly seemed the type to dissolve into tears or the like. However, I felt sure she was being genuine about what she said.

“Limestone, it’s fine,” I said. “I don’t want to keep you from doing what you need to do.”

“Yeah, but you’re our guest,” she retorted. “I should be making at least some kind of effort. That’s why tomorrow’s the perfect day,” she added, with a smile.

“Why’s that?” I asked.

“Oh, you’ll see,” she said, slyly. “Meet me out by Holder’s Boulder about an hour after breakfast. All right?”

“Er, ok,” I said.

She gave me a satisfied nod, then went back to the dining area. For some time, I just stood there, puzzled. It was nice that Limestone wanted to do something special with me, but just what did she have in mind?

“What’s keeping you, Davie?” Pinkie called. “You don’t wanna miss Grammy’s peach pie!”

Jolted from my ponderings, I hustled to return as well. After all, peach pie was not something I was keen to miss.

Wednesday, February 20


***


The next morning, I went out to meet with Limestone at the time she’d arranged. I’d told the rest of the family I was going out for a while. Pinkie gave me another of those shrewd looks of hers, but said nothing. Did she know what Limestone had in store for me when I didn’t? Her perceptiveness was a little alarming at times. Then again, nopony else raised any questions. Maybe they all knew. Weird.

In any case, Limestone was standing out by Holder’s Boulder, like she said, a bulky picnic basket sitting beside her. I raised an eyebrow at it.

“Isn’t it still a little chilly for a picnic?” I asked.

“You’ll see,” said Limestone, with that sly smile again. “Come on.”

She picked up the basket in her teeth and started leading me out of the farm. In that case, I figured she was going to take me into town for something. But no, she was going in a completely different direction, out towards the barren, empty landscape to the east. 

Now I was really puzzled, since it didn’t seem like there was anything out that way, at least not as far as I was aware. Limestone didn’t say a word as she walked. Then again, she was carrying that basket, so she couldn’t speak clearly anyway. So, there I was, trudging along without a clue about what was going on, with nothing but rocks, dirt, and Limestone’s tail to look at, though I did my best to keep from looking at the latter for too long. Spoiled Rich’s chidings about staring at a pony’s rear had resurfaced, and I didn’t want Limestone getting the wrong idea.

After what felt like at least an hour, I could finally see something to break up the monotony of our surroundings. What looked like a cabin loomed into view. A fence extended from it, around a very wide enclosure. I was baffled anew.

“You don’t mean to tell me someone lives out here?” I asked, incredulously.

Limestone shook her head and kept walking. Presently, we were right in front of the cabin, which was slightly bigger than I at first thought. There was a sign over the entrance, which read ‘ARCHEOLOGY STOP: HISTORY, MYSTERY, AND FUN FOR FOALS’. I stared at Limestone, who had set her basket down.

“What’s this all about?” I asked.

She opened the door, and I looked inside. There was a counter with a cash register nearby. The walls were lined with glass cases and podiums containing an assortment of rocks, tools, and bones, all with descriptive plaques set in front of or beside them. The bones themselves, especially the skulls and teeth, were huge. There were even posters and diagrams of reptilian creatures, all of which looked pretty ferocious. Wait, was it just me, or did I see a dirt-speckled bowtie in one of those cases? The label on it was even filthier, with only the letters ‘R’ and ‘y” visible on it. Weird.

“Pretty neat, huh?” asked Limestone, grinning at me. “The left-behinds of the ancients, dinos, and dragons who roamed these lands.”

Some of these were dragon bones? Well, that would explain why some of the creatures depicted had wings, even when they didn’t look remotely like pterodactyls. I supposed, in this world, certain breeds would have been more akin to dinosaurs in Equestria. Plus, they even had their own dinosaurs!

“But this is only the genuine stuff,” said Limestone. “You know, the real deals we can’t have just anypony touching. C’mere.”

She walked to a door at the back of this exhibit and opened it up. It opened, as I saw, onto the enclosure the fence surrounded. It was massive, and there were what could only be models of the dinos and dragons these bones belonged to situated out there. They were enormous, and horribly lifelike. Signposts were fixed in front of them, describing what they were. 

Limestone walked me around to take a look at them, though I did my best not to look up into their faces too often. The dinosaurs had vaguely equine skulls and hooved limbs, though the fact that they were part of largely reptilian creatures was rather off-putting. The dragons were creepier. There were dragons with wings, without wings, and even one that looked like an overgrown snake, like Slytherin’s Basilisk. That brought my heart into my throat. 

They all had scientific names, followed by what they were called normally. The dinosaurs were things like ‘Equisaurus Caulis (Spiny-back Pony Lizard) and ‘Asiniusaurus’ (Donkey Lizard). The dragons had names like ‘Draconis oviraptor (Egg-Thieving Dragon), ‘Draconis giganticus (King Dragon), and ‘Draconis serpens (Serpent Dragon). Brutus and his fellow dragons looked as tame as rabbits compared to these monsters. I hoped nothing like them were roaming around Equestria anymore. Nearly all were big enough to swallow me whole. One of the dinosaurs, however, looked a lot less savage than the others. In fact, it looked positively meek, in a way that reminded me of...Nah, it had to be my imagination.

“So this is another of your duties?” I asked.

“Sorta,” said Limestone. “About once every two weeks, I come down here to run this little side business we have going. It’s a full-on, interactive exhibition of fossils and bones and stuff that have been discovered and dug up. This land’s full of ‘em! We’re still finding stuff even today!” 

“Wow,” I said, impressed.

“We even have a ‘dig site’ for foals to enjoy. Take a look.”

She pointed to what looked like an oversized sandbox, with a couple of signs posted near it. One of them showed a list of what was apparently buried beneath the sand. Prominent was what looked like a fang made of gold.

“Gives ‘em the thrill of digging up real treasures,” said Limestone. “We even have a prize for someone who digs up the ‘golden tooth’. That’s the most valuable thing in there.”

“Neat,” I said, admiringly.

“Figured you’d like it,” said Limestone. “Pinkie told me you did some work for the royal council that had to do with history, so I figured you might like a look.” 

“I do have some slight interest in history,” I admitted. “This is really fascinating.”

Limestone smiled, then glanced at my watch. 

“We’d better head back inside. We’re due to open soon.”

“Does this place get a lot of business?” I asked, as we headed back to the cabin.

“Eh, a decent amount,” said Limestone, shrugging. “We’re pretty out of the way, but I’ve put out advertisements, so there’s always some ponies who come around. Makes a great edutainment stop for the kids.”

(These kids must be made of stronger stuff than I am, to wanna be around models of those terrors…)


***


As it turned out, the site did get a fair amount of business. Ponies who were obviously tourists visiting and feeling adventurous came by to have a look, and several brought their foals with them. They hung around the cabin, gawking at and admiring the evidence of dinosaurs and dragons past and departed. Limestone herself wandered around, answering questions for patrons, giving little historical tidbits. She was just like a docent. I couldn’t help wondering at how open she was being, when Marble had told me she wasn’t good with company. Perhaps this was a different circumstance.

Outside, as I expected, the foals marveled at the dino and dragon replicas. They were indeed a lot braver than I was, getting right up close. I imagined some of them might even have tried to climb or fly inside one of their mouths if their parents weren’t supervising them. Of course, the biggest thing for them was the interactive dig site. I watched as group after group dug with gusto, searching for the golden tooth. The foals who found it were awarded tote bags full of goodies concerning prehistoric creatures; appropriate and kinda neat.

A lot of ponies did stop to stare at me. Some of them seemed to recognize me from news about the Brimstone Lounge, or else had never seen a human before. Limestone seemed particularly wary around ponies coming up to me. It made me wonder if she was waiting for one of them to start causing trouble with me. No one did, thankfully, but she didn’t need to take that level of precaution just for me.

The picnic basket Limestone had brought contained lunch for the two of us. She had packed sandwiches (granite slab and cheese for her, plain cheese for me), fruit, and bottles of lemonade. We ate during a lull in customers in the early afternoon, Limestone still keeping an eye out for anypony.

“How do you manage to do so much on your own?” I asked.

Limestone raised a puzzled eyebrow at me, her mouth full of rock, cheese, and bread.

“I mean, all your farm work, working in your mine, this,” I said, gesturing vaguely. “I know Marble helps you without being asked, but-”

Limestone swallowed her mouthful.

“Hey, don’t get me wrong,” she said. “I appreciate her chipping in, honest. It’s just…”

She paused, twirling her hoof vaguely as she apparently tried to find the right words.

“Well, it’s just not easy for a pony like me to ask for help,” she said, lamely. “Some excuse, huh? I mean, I’m the oldest daughter. I’ve got a lot of responsibility to live up to, keeping the farm going for Mom and Dad. They’re getting older. They need somepony to make sure we keep going when they get too tired to. How would it look if I couldn’t handle it? With Maud going off to school and Pinkie leaving for Ponyville…”

She broke off with a sigh.

“Eh, never mind,” she muttered. “You don’t wanna hear me blabber on about all that.”

I felt a pang of sympathy for her. I hoped she wasn’t one of those hard-workers who wasn’t properly appreciated for what they did.

“It’s not easy, feeling like the weight of the world’s on your shoulders,” I said, gently. “I mean, look at me. I’m a member of Princess Celestia’s royal council! I’m representing Ponyville and my entire species! I can’t afford to make mistakes, either. I can’t really claim to know what it’s like being the oldest sibling or oldest child, but I do know a thing or two about heavy responsibility. Trust me, though, Limestone: there’s no shame in accepting help from those who care about you. As someone with an older sister myself, I’m sure that Pinkie, Marble, and Maud feel the same way.”

Limestone turned to look at me with those vibrant, lime-green eyes of hers. I gave her an encouraging sort of smile. Then, finally, she smiled back, laying a hoof on my shoulder.

“Thanks,” she said. “I’m not much for mushy stuff, but I appreciate it.”

“It’s all right,” I said. “I just can’t help feeling like anypony who’s friend or family to Pinkie is the same for me.”

“Heh,” chuckled Limestone. “I’m sure she’d say the same about you.”

More customers were coming by the point, so our conversation broke off there, and it was back to business. I did have a feeling Pinkie would consider anyone close to me as part of her own circle. It made me wonder, not for the first time, what my family and friends back home would think if they saw the collection of friends I’d made here, not the least of which being an entire family of rock farmers.

Thursday, February 21

> Last Days on the Farm
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Pinkie had said our trip would last through Saturday, but she didn’t say at what time on Saturday we would be heading back. I’d leave that up to her. In the meantime, on Friday, she decided to show me the one spot on the farm I hadn’t visited yet: the quarry, along with its mine. She had to ask Limestone’s permission before bringing me, as they were her workspaces, after all. Permission was duly granted, though she sternly warned us to be careful. As she said, mines ‘were not playgrounds’. The way Pinkie acted even after this warning, it made me wonder if she’d even understood.

So, Pinkie, Marble, and I set off for the quarry. Once again, that unpleasant swooping feeling hit me as I unavoidably looked down into its depths. However, the twin sisters stuck close to me as we descended the spiraling pathway that led down.

“It’s ok, Dave,” said Marble, kindly. “We’re right here with you.”

“Yeah, Davie,” said Pinkie. “You’ll be just fine. Just keep your eyes on me, and don’t look down.”

I didn’t know if Pinkie was trying to be funny or not, because her back end, most prominently her poofy tail, was right in my line of sight. Midway through, however, she turned right around so that we were face to face, walking backwards down the incline. The dexterity with which she did it was impressive, but it still made me give a start, which I really didn’t need when my nerves were already strained from my acrophobia.

At long last, we reached the bottom of the quarry. Rocks of various sizes and colors were strewn all over. Most of them were boulder-sized, and some seemed to be halfway through being chipped down into smaller sizes. In one of the rock walls, a square opening framed with wooden beams opened up onto a tunnel, and a set of minecart tracks leading into it. It was here that Pinkie and Marble led me.

To my surprise, the mine was well-lit. Lanterns hung from the ceiling, and their light was reflected by countless crystals. Not just any crystals, either. These were huge, some pieces even bigger than me. There must’ve been something potent in the Pie farm soil to make them develop like this. The mine tracks cut a path through them.

“Wow,” I breathed, my voice echoing slightly. “There must be a fortune in here!”

“Limestone’s very proud of this mine,” said Marble. “She widened it herself, and she makes sure nopony messes with it.”

“And what does she do with all of this crystal?”

“Sells it to ponies in the village, usually,” said Pinkie, “or else anypony who drops by from out of town. Some ponies come all the way out here just to buy Pie family crystals. They pay big bits for them!”

“I can imagine,” I said. “But then, what do you guys do with all the money?”

“We keep some of it,” said Marble, “and it went a long way in putting Maud in a good school, but Mom and Dad give a lot of it back to the town. They say what we keep is more than we’ll ever need, and we ought to share the wealth with our friends and neighbors, anyway. Limestone agrees.”

Wow. That was really sweet of them. Plus, given how the family was, it made sense how they wouldn’t want to stray too far away from their traditional roots by being big spenders. I could respect that.

The mine went pretty far back, sloping upwards as we walked. I could see different paths branching off from the main one, complete with their own sets of tracks. There were also smaller holes that looked like the work of moles or other burrowing creatures. Limestone really dug deep down here. Pinkie bounced ahead, her humming echoing all around us. Marble trooped behind me, keeping quiet, but giving me a little smile every time I looked back at her.

At last, we reached what seemed to be the end of the shaft. Judging by the rough, pitted look of the rock, Limestone was still working away at it. A minecart was sitting at the end of the tracks. It was empty, and looked in pretty good condition.

“So all of this is Limestone’s work?” I asked.

“Yep-yep!” said Pinkie.

“Well, Dad chips in sometimes,” said Marble, “but Limestone did most of this. She plans out which days are mine days, which ones are quarry days, and which ones are field days.”

“Man, now that’s dedication to your family trade,” I muttered.

“Ya know,” Pinkie said, an undeniably sly tone in her voice, “it would be really exhausting if we had to walk all the way back after coming all this way. If only there was a quicker, funner way back…”

Her eyes were flitting between me and the minecart. I raised an eyebrow at her. I had a feeling I knew what she was talking about.

“Seriously?” I asked.

“Pinkie, I don’t think that’s a good idea,” said Marble. “Limestone might not like it.”

“Aww, please?” asked Pinkie, pouting. “Just this once? Davie might never get a chance to ride in a real minecart again!”

(And Lord knows how tragic that would be…)

She continued to look at me imploringly, putting on the puppy-dog eyes and everything. She really wanted me to do this. I looked at Marble, who gave me a rather helpless look, as though torn about saying no to her twin. I sighed.

“All right, all right,” I said, resignedly. “One ride. You promise?”

Pinkie beamed.

“Promise!” she said. “Now hop in!”

Rolling my eyes, I climbed into the minecart. It was fairly sizeable, but I still had to draw my legs in a bit. Marble hesitated, then clambered in next, sitting with her back against my front. She looked very reluctant, though. Pinkie braced her hooves against the back of the cart, grinning.

“Here we go!” she cried.

She gave it a push, and it started rolling right away, making my heart jolt. With nimbleness only a pony like her could muster, Pinkie vaulted into the cart with us, so that she was in front of Marble, sandwiching her between the two of us. I put my arms about her instinctively, and felt her grip my arms with her hooves.

The cart rolled along a fairly level set of track, then it reached the start of the slope. It started to pick up speed at an alarming rate, clattering faster and faster down the track. Marble screamed. I screamed. Pinkie let out a delighted squeal, waving her hooves in the air. I saw no humor in this at all. This was nothing like sledding; this felt much scarier! The cart’s wheels were making an awful racket, screeching as we hurtled along, the cart itself jostling this way and that. Were we about to derail?!

“Brace yourselves!” Pinkie called, happily.

Before I knew what was happening, we emerged from the shaft, back out into the open, and found ourselves heading right for the buffers at the end of the track!

*BAM!*

The cart collided with the sturdy buffers, and the force of it sent us all toppling out of the cart. I clung on tighter to Marble as I tumbled, somehow managing to land on my back with her on top of me. Pinkie landed in a heap, but bounced back onto her hooves in seconds, looking as if she’d just hopped out of bed.

“That. Was. Amazing!” she squealed. “What did you think, Davie?”

I couldn’t answer. My heart was hammering too fast for speech. Realizing I was still clinging onto Marble, I let go of her, and she was able to right herself. She looked plenty frazzled herself; she was panting, and her mane was very wind-swept. She helped me into a sitting position.

“Are you...ok?” she panted.

“I...will be,” I panted back. “You?”

“M-Mm-hmm,” she replied.

I was glad Pinkie had promised to only do it that one time. I don’t think I could stand another ride like that. She, for her part, was surveying the cart.

“Limey’s probably not gonna be happy that the cart’s all the way back at the beginning,” she said, and I heard Marble mutter ‘That’s what I said’, “but I think she’ll agree that it was worth it!”

(Somehow, Pinkie, I highly doubt that.)


***


I was right, and Pinkie was wrong. When Limestone found out, she gave her little sister an earful for messing up her minecart’s position and forcing her to roll it all the way back again. She was also irritated with Marble and me for allowing Pinkie to talk us into the ride, and I felt, with a pang of guilt, that she was right about that. I should’ve known better. Marble hung her head in silence.

However, Limestone grudgingly accepted that we were just trying to keep from hurting Pinkie’s feelings. It was true, after all. She did make us promise not to do anything like that again, a promise I was more than willing to make. She then left to go put the cart back, and Pinkie followed after her. I couldn’t keep back a sneaking suspicion that she was just looking for an excuse to ride in it again when it was being put away. 

After that, Limestone more or less cooled back down, though she still threw Pinkie dirty looks over dinner. Something told me my inkling wasn’t too far off the mark. Pinkie, however, seemed quite impervious to them. Neither Grammy nor Igneous nor Cloudy said anything about it; perhaps they’d expected nothing less from the most exuberant Pie. 


***


I slept badly that night. That harrowing ride, short as it was, had worked its way into my dreams. Again and again, I found myself rattling down the track, about to reach the buffers, only for the track to fall away and bring me right back to the beginning again. It was like a roller coaster that wouldn’t let me off. 

Also, each time I went down, there were slight changes, which seemed to put the ride into slower motion. Once, I saw Marble rolling a round rock right beside the track, nudging it with her nose, and it went whizzing down right before I did. I saw it sitting by the buffers before I was brought back to the beginning again. Another time, I saw Pinkie’s upper body poking out of a hole that seemed much too small for her. I reached out and grabbed her hooves, hoping that her being wedged in there might bring me to a stop, but she popped out quite easily, and the two of us were rocketing along, Pinkie gleeful about it, of course. Another time, I could’ve sworn I saw a gleam of pale eyes, and a hissing whisper of ‘Preciousss’.

I awoke with a start, narrowly missing banging my head on the underside of Pinkie’s bed again. I looked around. The Pie sisters were all still asleep, Pinkie and Limestone snoring loudly. In the dim moonlight, I could just see Marble, her bangs billowing from her breath as she slept. Their dreams were obviously normal and undisturbed. Lucky them. 

Then again, I supposed I should also feel grateful that Luna didn’t have to get involved this time. As a princess, she was far too busy to keep saving me from bad dreams. I felt sure she’d appreciate it as much as I did. Now I was feeling thirsty, though, so I got up and went to get some water, making sure to walk as quietly as I could.

Ahhh. That glass was exactly what I needed. I felt refreshed as I put the cup away in the sink. I was about to head back upstairs when something caught my eye. Someone was sitting out in front of the house. Curiosity got the better of me, and I crept over to take a look.

Cloudy was seated in a rocking chair that had been placed by the front door. A thick shawl was wrapped around her as she gazed up at the stars. One thing I noticed was that she wasn’t wearing her mane in its usual bun. It hung long and loose down her neck and over her shoulders. I supposed it wouldn’t be comfortable to sleep with it bunned up. 

She looked around at the sound of my footsteps.

“Oh! Goodness, Dave, you startled me.”

“Sorry, Cloudy. I couldn’t sleep, so I went to get a glass of water, and I saw you sitting out by yourself. Is everything all right?”

“Oh, yes,” said Cloudy. “Some nights, when sleep doesn’t come easily for me, I find it soothing to just sit out for a while and watch the stars. Igneous doesn’t share such troubles; he doth sleepeth like a log, though he snoreth loud enough to wake one.”

She winked, and I chuckled.

“Well, is it ok if I sit out here with you for a bit?” I asked.

“Of course. I wouldn’t mind some company.”

So, I sat down beside her chair, wrapping my arms around my knees as I looked skyward. It really was another beautiful night.

“Pinkamena tells me that you still don’t know how you arrived in Equestria,” said Cloudy, after some moments of silence. “Is that true?”

“Er, yeah,” I said, awkwardly. “Our friend Twilight’s doing all she can to figure it out, as well as how to get me back home, but we still don’t have any answers.”

“Hmm,” said Cloudy. “I wouldst almost have fancied that your summons was an act by the Choosing Stone.”

I looked at her, puzzled.

“Choosing Stone? What’s that?”

“A very ancient and wise stone,” said Cloudy, reverently. “It is customary among those of the rock farming trade to seek its guidance and counsel when they seek a partner. Taketh Igneous and myself, for example. We were chosen, and betrothed within a fortnight. The Choosing Stone decreed that we shouldst love one another, and it was indeed so.”

“Wow,” I said, slightly bemused. “That sounds...romantic.”

Cloudy smiled.

“Thank you,” she said. “So, as I say, I couldn’t help but wonder if you hadn’t been chosen to be a partner for one of my girls. Pinkamena is very fond of you, and Marble seems to have grown to be so as well.”

I felt my face go red-hot at this.

“W-What?!” I spluttered. “T-That can’t be right, can it? I-I mean, your daughters are very fine mares, Cloudy, and I’m saying nothing against them, but I really-”

But Cloudy suddenly started to laugh, and my protests died away.

“Oh, Dave, do relax,” she said. “‘Twas only a joke. When last I visited the Choosing Stone, it mentioned nothing of you. In any case, I brought the matter up to them myself, and they have assured me that they simply view you as a good friend.”

The heat slowly began to ebb away from my face, though I felt slightly ashamed for reacting like that. Why was it so easy for my buttons to be pushed like this? I supposed it was my own fault for getting riled like that.

Something touched my shoulder. I looked up to see that Cloudy had rested her hoof on it, smiling maternally at me.

“It makes me happy knowing they have someone like yourself as a friend,” she said. “Why, Pinkamena’s own circle of companions was a delightful bunch when they visited, even if it took them a bit to get used to the rock farming way. Though we dearly missed Pinkamena since she first left, especially as she taught us to really enjoy ourselves for the first time in our lives, I’m glad she’s made such wonderful friends since then.”

I grinned back at her.

“Thanks, Cloudy,” I said. “I appreciate that, really. It’s because of Pinkie that I’m even able to live in Equestria. I owe her a great deal.”

Cloudy’s smile became warmer, and for a while, the two of us just sat together, gazing up at the stars. Somehow, after that talk, they seemed much brighter than usual.

Friday, February 22


***


There was a train that was going back to Ponyville Saturday evening, and it would bring us back at about midnight. We had one more nearly-whole day to spend with the Pies, therefore. I figured that this day ought to be extra-special, in that case, and wondered what we could do to make it so, but I was slower in thinking than Pinkie. She already knew what to do, and she made it clear around noon, when she called us all to the living area.

“Everypony,” she said, a noticeably serious and sober air about her in spite of the smile on her face, “since this my and Davie’s last day here on the farm, though not the last day ever, because then that would be really super-sad, and it would mean we’d never-”

“Get on with it, Pinkie,” said Limestone, dryly.

“I was gonna,” said Pinkie, exasperatedly. “Anyways, since this our last day here, I wanted to do something really special, something to make this day memorable! And so, that’s why…”

She whipped out, from out of nowhere, her party cannon! How in the world had she brought it with her? I hadn’t even noticed! I had only a split second to cover my ears (as did Pinkie’s family) before she fired, unleashing her brand of party magic. Within seconds, the living area had been transformed into a party space, complete with snacks, balloons, streamers, and confetti. The Pies’ expressions went from complete bewilderment to joy and amusement. They weren’t the only ones; in spite of my surprise, I was grinning from ear to ear.

“Party time, everypony!” Pinkie crowed.

It certainly was. An old gramophone, not unlike the one I got for Hearth’s Warming, was kicked into gear, belting out a jaunty polka tune. The remaining Pies, sans Pinkie, all looked as though they had just been reminded of something, something very pleasant. 

“Good heavens!” chortled Igneous. “This old tune? Why, it’s been ages!”

“What’s wrong, Dad?” asked Pinkie, giving him a cheeky nudge. “You’re not getting too old to dance, are you?”

Marble and Limestone both let out an ‘Oooooh’! Igneous’ eye twinkled as he looked at his daughter.

“Is that a challenge, Pinkamena?”

“Mmmmmaybe,” said Pinkie.

“Then I accepteth. Cloudy?”

“Gladly, Igneous,” said Cloudy, smiling.

Now, I would’ve been more astonished at this, if I hadn’t already seen those pictures of Pinkie’s first party in the album. I wondered how long it had been since Pinkie had thrown a party like that for them. She never mentioned one when the others were visiting, but somehow I felt it was a given.

Nevertheless, the image of Igneous and Cloudy getting onto their hind legs, clasping hooves and dancing merrily together, was quite heartwarming. Marble and Limestone were partnered up, the former very giggly, and the latter looking happier than I’d ever seen her before. I expected Pinkie, by process of elimination, to be dancing with Grammy, but the old mare was stationed by the gramophone, smiling and bobbing to the music. Pinkie had bounced over to me and grabbed my arm.

“Come on, Davie!” she squealed. “Let’s dance!”

She dragged me into the middle of the ‘dance floor’, swinging the both of us about and laughing. Once I was over the initial surprise, the merriment began to wash over me as well, and I was laughing and dancing with her with equal vigor. It was only then that I realized Grammy was singing along to the song, for all of us to hear.

“After a day of farming rocks
And working in the soil
When your hooves feel rough and your muscles numb
From all the strain and toil”

Here, Pinkie joined in.

“When you’re feeling all exhausted
Too weary to continue
There’s one sure-fire remedy
To put the spring back in you"

Together, both sang,

“It’s the Pie Family Polka
Let’s party all day long
Just shake your tail and stomp your hooves
To this silly polka song!”

And then, Grammy burst out yodeling, in a much stronger and clearer voice than one would’ve supposed could come from an old lady.

“Yo-del-leedle-addle-leedle-addle-leedle-addle-leddle-addle
Yo-de-la-dle-lee
Yo-de-la-da-lee, yo-do-la-da-loo
Yo-de-la-da-lee-da-la-da
Yodel-addle-leedle-addle-leedle-addle-leedle-addle
Yo-de-la-dle-lee
Yo-de-la-da-lee, yo-do-la-da-loo
Ya-dooo”

The whole family laughed. So did I. It was pretty silly. For the next verse, Marble sang first, then Limestone.

“So if you’re feeling gloomy or
You’re feeling kind of down”

“This lively little polka’s sure
To take away your frown”

To my surprise, Igneous sang next, in a very strong voice, followed by Cloudy.

“And even ponies such as we
Who farm from morn ‘til night”

“Just can’t resist the song and dance
That is every Pie’s delight”

Every Pie then sang the chorus.

“It’s the Pie Family Polka
Let’s party all day long
Just shake your tail and stomp your hooves
To this silly polka song!”

This time, Pinkie started to yodel, and due to our close proximity, I was lucky my glasses didn’t shatter.

“Yo-de-lay-deeeeee
Yo-de-lee-daaaaaa
Yo-de-lay, yo-de-lay, yo-de-lay, yo-de-lay
Yo-de-la-da-lee
Yo-de-lay-deeeeee
Yo-de-lee-daaaaaa
Yo-de-lay, yo-de-lay, yo-de-lay, yo-de-la-dee-do
Ya-hoo!”

The music went into an interlude, and we were soon swapping partners. Pinkie was now with Igneous, Cloudy with Limestone, and me with Marble.

“Pretty fun, huh, Dave?” she asked, her face glowing.

“Pretty silly, you mean,” I said, grinning.

“That’s the point!” Marble giggled.

What happened next was rather inexplicable. I don’t know what prompted it in me. I wasn’t under the influence of hard cider this time. And yet, I found words springing straight into my head as the music pulsed through me. As I sang, I drew all eyes on me.

“To say this polka’s silly would be
Putting it too mild
So in the spirit of the tune
Let me say something wild

I wish that I could truly dance
But my feet won’t stay in rhythm
They’re not both left, but they’re both not right
So I can’t do nothing with ‘em!”

I smiled rather guiltily at my random lyrics, hoping I hadn’t ruined the mood somehow. However, every single Pie face directed at me was smiling widely.

“Now you’re getting it, Davie!” Pinkie cried.

Now that made me smile in earnest! So, as we came to the last chorus, which repeated itself, I joined in this time.

“It’s the Pie Family Polka
Let’s party all day long
Just shake your tail and stomp your hooves
To this silly polka song!”

It’s the Pie Family Polka
Let’s party all day long
Just shake your tail
(Yo-de-lay-dee-lay-dee-loo)
And stomp your hooves
(Yo-de-lay-dee-lay-dee-hoo)
Just shake your tail and stomp your hooves
To this silly polka song
Just shake your tail and stomp your hooves
To this sil-ly 
Pol-ka 
Sooooong”

The song ended, and we all flopped into seats or onto the floor, panting and laughing. That was really fun! The last time I’d had that much of a rush was when Pinkie and I danced on our special day together.

“Hoo!” sighed Limestone, loudly. “What a blast!”

“I can’t believe I still remember that song,” said Igneous, taking off his hat to wipe his forehead. “It’s been years since we last danced to it together.”

“Well, I figured we all ought to do something really special for our last day,” said Pinkie, “so I talked it over with Grammy, and she said it was a great idea!”

“Wonderful dancing, dears!” said Grammy, beaming. “It really brings a smile to this old mare’s face, I tell you. And you, Dave. You dance pretty well yourself, for someone whose feet won’t stay in rhythm.”

“Aw, shucks,” I said, bashfully. “You Pies just really know how to party.”

“Thank Pinkamena for that, dear,” said Cloudy, smiling.

Pinkie smiled in a very pleased way.

“Well, everypony, back on your hooves! We still have a whole lot of party to get to!”

The gramophone was kicked back into gear again, this time on a different song. The party, as I knew Pinkie’s parties to be, started in earnest this time, and I lost myself in having a real good time with Pinkie and her amazing family.


***


All too soon, it was time for us to head out to the train station to head back to Ponyville. I was sorry to have to leave, especially after such a fun party, but I knew Pinkie’s family must’ve been even sadder to see her go again. Even if they’d supported her leaving for Ponyville, this was still where she was born and bred, and you can never truly forget your roots. 

Once we were all packed, we stood outside the house to say our farewells. Pinkie looked ready to burst into tears as she hugged each member of her family one by one, receiving warm embraces from her parents and grandmother, and a double hug/nuzzle combo from her sisters.

“I’ll keep in touch,” she said, huskily, wiping her eyes. “That’s a Pinkie Promise. And remember what we planned out, both of you,” she added, smiling at her sisters.

They both nodded, smiling back. What were they talking about? Then the family’s attention turned to me. I felt a bit awkward, not sure how to properly to say goodbye to all of them. I cleared my throat.

“Thanks very much for having me, everypony,” I said. “You’ve really made me feel welcome.”

“‘Twas our pleasure, Dave,” said Igneous, smiling. “We were glad to get to know you a little better.”

Everypony nodded, and I felt warm inside. All of a sudden, Grammy pulled me into a one-legged hug, reaching up to tousle my hair again.

“Take care of yourself, dearie,” she said.

“Thanks, Grammy,” I said.

Cloudy rested her hoof on my shoulder, a kind smile on her face as she gave me a little nuzzle.

“You’re always welcome to return for a visit, dear,” she said.

“Verily,” said Igneous, engaging me in a firm hand/hoofshake. “Our door shalt always be open for you, Dave.”

“I really appreciate that, Igneous, Cloudy,” I said.

Limestone simply gave me a punch on the arm, grinning.

“Take care, big guy,” she said, “and keep Pinkie out of trouble.”

“Or vice versa?” I quipped, rubbing my arm and grinning back.

“Knowing Pinkamena as we do,” said Igneous, with a small smile, “I truly doubt this to occur.”

Marble reared up and put her hooves around me in a warm hug. This time, I gladly reciprocated.

“We’ll miss you, Dave,” she said, tears sparkling in the corners of her eyes.

“I’ll miss all of you too,” I said. “Pinkie’s lucky to have such a wonderful family as you.”

“And to have a wonderful friend like you,” said Marble, making me feel even warmer inside.

With that, amid the five farm Pies waving and bidding us goodbye, Pinkie and I departed for the train station, turning to wave to them one last time as we went. Pinkie was sniffling, but still smiling, as the farm began to disappear over the horizon.

“So, what was that you were talking about with Marble and Limestone?” I asked.

“Sorry, Davie,” said Pinkie, slyly, “that’s between us, for the time being, anyway.”

“Well, all right, suit yourself,” I said, shrugging.

Soon, we arrived at the station, where the train was just pulling in, right on time. It was almost empty this time around, so we had a car practically to ourselves as the sun began to sink lower and lower. Pinkie was still sniffling a bit as we took our seats.

“Are you going to be ok, Pinkie?” I asked, gently.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” she said, wiping at her eyes. “I’m just really glad you had such a good time with them. I told you they’d like you, didn’t I?”

I chuckled.

“Yeah, Pinkie, you did. But really, how could we not get along? They’re your family, after all.”

She perked up immediately, all traces of tears gone from her eyes.

“Phew! I'm glad that trip is finally finished. It only took about 70 chapters!”

And while I tried to figure out what in Equestria she was talking about, she leaned over and started sleeping against my side. Deciding not to question it, as this was coming from Pinkie Pie, I rolled my eyes, smiled, and put an arm around her, as the train let out a whistle, gave a lurch, and started off, towards Ponyville.

(I hope she isn’t like this the whole train ride, or both of us are gonna get cramps.)

Saturday, February 23


> Sunday, Busy Sunday
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was just around midnight when the train finally pulled into Ponyville’s station. Pinkie was still asleep, so I was worried I was going to have to lug her off all the way to Sugarcube Corner. She hadn’t exactly been eating daintily at the farm, if the size of her belly was any clue. However, as soon as the train stopped, her eyes snapped open, and she sat up, looking as bright and chipper as if it were morning.

“Come on, Davie!” she said. “No time to dilly-dally!”

And she trotted off, singing tunelessly as she did. Bewildered, I gathered up my luggage and followed after her, my legs stiff. The glow of the lanterns in the dark stung my eyes as I disembarked.

“Hey, Davie?” Pinkie asked, turning to look at me. “It’s pretty dark out. You want me to walk you home, keep you company? I know Ponyville like the back of my hoof, so you don’t have to worry about me finding my way back.”

She gave me an encouraging smile. I was about to say I’d be fine going home by myself, but an inexplicable tingle ran down my spine as I looked out at the darkness before me. It brought into my head visions of dark, unsavory beings lurking in the shadows, waiting to pounce and surprise me when I least expected. I was even reminded of that dark shadow that had spooked me the night after I’d delivered my speech. At this late at night, I really didn’t want to be out by myself, as childish as that sounded.

“Sure, Pinkie, I’d like that,” I said.

“Great!” said Pinkie, happily. “Let’s go!”

She really must’ve known Ponyville like the back of her hoof, as she led the way flawlessly, not once giving any indication that she didn’t know her way. As we went, however, I couldn’t help constantly looking over my shoulder, out of a paranoid worry that someone or something was watching me. I was being stupid, I knew, but I just couldn’t shake off the feeling.

At last, we arrived at my own house. Moonlight’s home and the Hooves residence were both dark and quiet. I’d have been surprised if anypony had been awake at this hour. I looked down at my pudgy pink guide.

“Thanks, Pinkie,” I said, gratefully. “I appreciate this.”

“You’re welcome, Davie,” said Pinkie. “Just call on Pinkie Pie to keep the ooky-spookies away! I’ll giggle at them until they’re gone!”

(Laughing in the face of danger, huh? You would do that, Pinkie.)

“Good night, Davie,” said Pinkie, “and thanks again for coming with me.”

“Thank you for inviting me,” I said. “Good night, Pinkie.”

I had a feeling I knew what was coming, and sure enough, I opened my arms in time for Pinkie to throw her forelegs around me. This time, I was able to reciprocate. Pinkie giggled.

“You’re learning,” she said. “You know when I’m gonna hug you.”

“Not all the time,” I said, grinning. “You still know how to surprise me.”

Pinkie just smiled and nuzzled me, then released me and started bouncing off into the darkness.

“Oh!” she called as she went. “Congratulations, by the way!”

“Congratulations? What are you-?”

But Pinkie was already gone. I scratched my head in puzzlement. What the heck was she congratulating me for? Earning her family’s favor? Staying up until past midnight?

“I swear, I’m gonna live to be 100, and still never completely understand that silly pony,” I muttered, before finally unlocking the door, and heading inside my home sweet home.


***


I woke up later in the morning than usual, around 9 o’clock, but feeling completely refreshed. I did my usual daily routines, and had just finished breakfast when there came a knock on the door. Once again, it was a Canterlot guard delivering my weekly dues. Though I still politely accepted them and thanked him, I had to wonder how long this was going to go on. Perhaps Minister Ironmane would make that clear when we met this Thursday.

Only about 5 minutes after he’d left, there came another knock at the door. Wondering who that could be, I opened it up, saw no one at first, then looked down. It was Apple Bloom.

“Oh!” I said. “Good morning, Apple Bloom.”

“Mornin’, Dave!” she said. “Ah was hopin’ you’d be home today! Ah’ve got good news!”

“Yeah? What’s that?”

“Ya know the concert we talked about last week? Well, Ah talked it over with the others, and they think it’s a great idea!”

“Oh! That’s excellent!” I said. 

“We’re havin’ a Crusader’s meetin’ right now to talk about it!” Apple Bloom went on. “That’s why Ah came over: to fetch ya!”

“Right now? Well, give me a second, and I’ll be right with you!”

Hurrying to put my gear on, I soon joined Apple Bloom outside, and the two of us hurried on to Sweet Apple Acres.


***


Our fellow Crusaders were already waiting for us by the time we arrived, seated around the little table with glasses of juice in front of them. The chocolate fountain I had gifted them had been given a place of pride in the middle of it. I could even see a half-empty bag of marshmallows and a box of graham crackers sitting close by. It seemed they’d made liberal use of it. It made me happy to know they enjoyed my gift so much.

“Hi, Dave!” the three chorused at the sight of me.

“Hello, girls,” I said. “I see you’ve been putting that chocolate fountain through its paces.”

“It’s the best!” gushed Dinky, and the others nodded eagerly.

“Heh, good to hear,” I said.

I sat down between Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle. The former slid me a glass of apple juice.

“Oh, thanks,” I said, gratefully, taking a sip before continuing, “So, Apple Bloom’s told you about the brain wave we had, huh?”

“Yeah!” said Scootaloo. “A Crusaders concert sounds like a great idea! I mean, the last time we had a big performance was at the school talent show.”

“And, er, it didn’t go exactly as we planned,” said Apple Bloom, awkwardly. “We were tryin’ to show Ponyville who we were as the Crusaders and what we were aimin’ to do, but, well...”

“Was it that bad?” I asked.

“Let’s just say we were all doing the wrong jobs,” said Sweetie Belle, sheepishly.

“It was pretty funny, though!” said Dinky, giggling. “You three did win ‘Best Comedy Act’!”

“Yeah, but we didn’t even get cutie marks for all our trouble,” mumbled Scootaloo.

Ouch. To win an award for comedy when you were being completely serious? That felt kind of harsh.

“But we know what to do this time!” said Apple Bloom.

“Yeah!” said Scootaloo. “This time, we’re gonna do it right!”

“Sounds great!” I said. “Sometimes, you’ve just gotta learn from your mistakes. So, did any of you have any ideas?”

“Well, you said you can play the piano, right?” asked Scootaloo.

“Yeah.”

“Then that’s one act down already!” she said. “I still need to decide on what I wanna do.”

“And Ah could play somethin’ on mah harmonica!” said Apple Bloom.

“Ohh, right,” I said, recalling her tuneful during our pirate adventure. “That’ll be neat! Anypony else?”

“I can sing!” said Dinky, her voice squeaking with excitement. “I can sing!”

“Is that so?” I asked, intrigued. “Let’s hear something.”

Dinky stood up, cleared her throat, then started singing,

“The sun will come out
Tomorrow
Clears away the cobwebs
And the sorrow”

She paused, smiling expectantly around. We all stared. Scootaloo voiced my opinion.

“Wow, Dinky! How come you never told us you could sing like that?”

Dinky shrugged.

“Nopony asked,” she said, simply.

“How about you, Sweetie Belle?” I asked.

“I love music and singing,” said Sweetie Belle, passionately, then added, in a more subdued voice, “but I don’t really like singing in front of crowds. If it’s all the same to you, I think I wanna work in the background. Like, maybe I could find music for you all to play, or do something with the audience.”

“That sounds like a good idea,” I said, giving her mane a little ruffle. “Even the ponies in the wings have important roles to play, after all.” 

This put an adorable smile on her face.

“Question, though,” I added, addressing the group at large, “are we limiting this to us, or do we want to include other performers as well?”

The four fillies looked at each other.

“Huh,” said Apple Bloom. “We didn’t really think that far ahead. What do you all think?”

“I think that’s a good idea!” said Dinky.

“Yeah!” said Sweetie Belle. “Anypony who wants to perform could sign up!”

“Sounds like a plan to me!” said Scootaloo.

“Well, all right, then!” said Apple Bloom. “Great idea, Dave!”

“Oh, it was nothing,” I said, modestly. “Now, this is probably going to take a while to prepare. I mean, we have to decide what we’re all going to perform, send word out to everypony and find out who’s interested, set up a place to perform, all that kind of stuff, you know?”

“We know,” said Apple Bloom, “but it’ll be worth it, if it means you might get your cutie mark!”

All four fillies beamed at me. I smiled rather awkwardly back. I’d almost forgotten about that.

“A-heh, yeah, right,” I said.

“Let’s do this!” said Scootaloo.

“Yeah!” said Sweetie Belle.

“This is gonna be so much fun!” said Dinky.

They all reached across the table and bumped their hooves together in a high-hoof. A little late, I gently bumped my knuckles in. They all smiled at me, and, infectious as it was, I smiled back, genuinely, this time.


***


After that bit of excitement, I went to take a nice long walk through Ponyville. I wondered if anything had changed while I was away. On the one hand, Ponyville was such a quiet town. It didn’t seem likely that anything huge could’ve gone down in just a week. On the other hand, a week was still quite a length of time to be away. A lot can happen anywhere in a week.

Well, as far as I could see, everything looked just about the same. Ponies were milling around, going about their daily lives, greeting me as I passed them, and I greeted them in turn. However, my ears were soon greeted by a familiar, yet quite unexpected, voice.

“Hello, Dave! So good to see you!”

Turning around, I saw Octavia trotting briskly up to me, her face glowing with delight.

“Hey there, Octavia,” I said, pleased, though surprised. “Long time no see.”

“Oh, I know,” said Octavia. “Too long, dear. I never got the chance to properly thank you for that bottle of Jura at Hearth’s Warming. It was very sweet of you,” she added, warmly.

“You’re welcome,” I said, “and thank you for that record. Your ensemble’s amazing.”

“Oh, it was my pleasure,” said Octavia, waving an airy hoof. “It just touched my heart that you would send me a gift, even when we haven’t had that much time to truly bond. Half of the time, it was in consequence of Vinyl.” 

“Yeah, that’s true,” I said.

“Well, what better time to make amends for that lack of contact than the present?”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“I’ll show you, if you like,” said Octavia. “Will you walk with me?”

“Of course,” I said, giving her a bow. “Lead the way, milady.”

Octavia smiled gently at me, then started off towards the opposite end of Ponyville. Wondering what she had planned, I followed behind.


***


We went quite a distance outside of Ponyville, almost akin to what it was like in my own neck of the woods. However, I could soon see what Octavia must have been aiming for: a two-story cottage with a cobblestone path leading up to it. It would’ve been quite ordinary, if not for the decor. The exterior looked as if two different houses had been cut in half, and half of one and half of the other were put together. One side was made of brown stone with yellow thatching, the other of gray stone with brown thatching. Even the curtains in the upper window were of different colors. Not just that, but there was a blatant musical theme about the place. The flowerbeds under the windows looked like piano keys. Organ pipes rose from the roof instead of a chimney. Even a hedge sitting in front of the place was shaped like a musical note.

“Does a friend of yours live here, Octavia?” I asked, bemused by the whole thing.

“Not quite,” said Octavia, still smiling. “You see, Dave, I’ve made a very important decision: I’ve moved to Ponyville.”

It took a second or two for this to register with me, and I did a double-take when it did, jaw hanging open.

“W-What?? Really?”

Octavia nodded.

“So then, that house-”

“-Is mine. Quite a fitting choice, wouldn’t you say? That’s what sealed the deal for me when I was house-hunting.”

“Octavia, that’s great!” I said, delighted. “Congratulations! Now you and Vinyl get to be closer together!”

“Oh, yes,” said Octavia, her smile widening, “even more so than I could’ve wished, since she’s decided to live with me.”

“And, boy, when you said ‘fitting choice’, I couldn’t have agreeeee-wait, what did you say?”

What Octavia said had only just hit home. I was really slow today, it felt like.

“Did you say Vinyl’s going to live with you?”

Octavia nodded.

“By the end of the month, she’ll be able to officially move out of her apartment, and she and I will be sharing this home together.”

“Really?” I asked, bewildered. “And this was a mutual decision? I mean, you both knew the, er, ‘risks’ involved?”

I was thinking of Vinyl and her Wub-Meister, not to mention how she got on Octavia’s nerves in general, from the times I saw them interacting.

“It was,” said Octavia. “Vinyl’s, well, rather helpless by herself, and as much as she annoys me a lot of the time, I do miss having her around. I really think this is the best thing for both of us.”

“Wow,” I said, touched. “Well, if that’s what you think is best, I say go for it!”

Octavia smiled kindly.

“Thank you, Dave. We’ve still got quite a bit to get done before we’re completely settled in, but once that’s done, you can drop by anytime, perhaps for some tea, or even some music. Lyra’s told me you’ve mastered the piano recently,” she added, keenly.

“Aw, well, I wouldn’t say ‘mastered’,” I mumbled, bashfully. “I’m still learning. I mean, I’m not good enough to put on a professional concert just yet.”

Concert…

Aha!

“Actually, Octavia?”

“Hmm?”

“Maybe you can help me and some friends out,” I said. “We’ve decided to put on an amateur concert, and it just occurred to me that you might be able to help us with that. After all, you have concerts with your ensemble all the time, so you know the ins and outs, right?”

Octavia looked intrigued.

“Well, yes, I suppose that’s true.” 

“So, maybe I could bring them over once everything’s settled here,” I went on, “and we could do a little brainstorming, or a jam session. I’m sure Vinyl wouldn’t mind helping, either.”

“That’s a splendid idea, Dave!” said Octavia. “I’ll gladly help where I can!”

“Great! Thanks, Octavia!”

I took her hoof in my hand and shook it energetically. I wasn’t quite sure we were on ‘hug’ level yet, and didn’t want to offend or surprise her. She seemed gratified all the same. After that, I took my leave of her, so she could continue getting her new house ready, my mind positively abuzz, and it wasn’t even noon!


***


Later in the day, I took a trip both to the marketplace and to Barnyard Bargains to do my usual grocery shopping. I was on my home when I heard a voice call out to me from behind.

“Hello, Dave!”

I looked ‘round. Twilight was trotting briskly towards me, a clipboard floating beside her.

“Hi, Twilight! What’s up?”

“I was looking for you, actually,” she said, a keen twinkle in her eyes. “As All-Team Organizer for Ponyville’s Winter Wrap-Up, it’s part of my duties to assign tasks to anypony not already assigned one.”

“Ohh, I see,” I said. “All-Team Organizer, huh? Fits you like a glove, I’d say.”

“Thanks,” said Twilight, with a slight giggle. “So, I picked out the perfect task for you and Moonlight to do together. I figured you wouldn’t say no to having her as a partner.”

“Definitely not,” I said, earnestly.

“You’ll be helping the Weather Team with clearing the rooftops of snow. And don’t worry,” she added, raising her voice, as she seemed to foresee the protest I was ready to give. “I’ve already taken your acrophobia into account. You’ll be on the ground level with a wagon, ready to catch the snow Moonlight shovels down. When the wagon’s full, you’ll cart the snow to the designated drop-off point. Lather, rinse, repeat. Does that sound all right?”

I considered it for a second or two. It didn’t sound too difficult or demanding. It definitely sounded better than being on the rooftops myself.

“Yeah, I think I can do that,” I said, nodding.

“Great!” said Twilight, happily, as she levitated a quill to jot some notes down on the clipboard. “I’ll let Rarity know to make a pair of blue vests for you and Moonlight, then! Now, be sure that the two of you are in the town square at 7:30 AM on the dot. We need to get started as soon as possible, and every minute counts! I know it’s early, but try to put in a hearty breakfast as well, preferably oatmeal, and some fruit wouldn’t hurt, either. You’re going to need a lot of energy to keep you going. Make sure you’re dressed properly as well. It’ll be cold at first, of course, but it’s warm work, and we’ll eventually end up in springtime, wherein winter gear will be completely unnecessary, so plan accordingly for that. We do break for lunch and dinner, but for 20 minutes exactly, so make sure you don’t use up precious eating time with unnecessary chitchat or idle dilly-dallying. Bathroom breaks are allowed, 5 minutes at most, though I hardly think you’ll need that long, and should be timed accordingly so as not to interfere with your work. You’re allowed to chat with your fellow ponies during work, but don’t let it keep you too distracted. Follow all that, and Winter Wrap Up will go as smooth as ice!”

She smiled a bit too widely at me after this lengthy, persnickety speech. I just stood there, speechless and flabbergasted. I’d been so used to Pinkie’s gift for gab that I forgot that Twilight had an occasional case of motormouth as well.

“Got all that?” she asked.

“Er, yeah, I think so,” I said, finally.

“Good! I’m just glad I didn’t put on too much weight over the winter,” she added, looking down at her belly. “My vest’s one of a kind, and Rarity wouldn’t be too happy if I outgrew it.”

I managed a weak chuckle. “You look fine to me, Twi.”

She gave me a kind smile.

“Oh! That reminds me,” she said. “If you see Spike, could you tell him I asked him to come home? He’s been out and about, but I haven’t seen claw or scale of him.”

“Sure, I can do that,” I said, still reeling from that onslaught of information.

“Good. See you, Dave!”

“Bye!”

Twilight trotted off, the clipboard now floating in front of her eyes. She was so absorbed, in fact, that a couple ponies had to jump aside to avoid her running into them. No sooner was she out of sight, when I heard a sharp ‘Pssst!’ I jumped, as my first immediate thought was that there was a snake nearby. However, upon looking around, I saw Spike peeking out of a nearby bush. He put a claw to his lips, then motioned for me to come closer. I knelt down, puzzled.

“What are you doing in the bushes, Spike?” I asked.

“Hiding out from Twilight,” Spike whispered. “I can’t stand being around when she’s in one of her ‘organizing’ moods. I thought Reshelving Day was bad enough, but it’s even worse now that she’s the Winter Wrap Up All-Team Organizer! I need my peace and quiet, man!”

“I getcha,” I said, knowing all too well what he was talking about. “What do you plan to do, then?”

“Oh, just bum around Ponyville, keep out of Twilight’s sight, be back by dinner,” said Spike, casually.

“I see. So, is that all you wanted to tell me?”

“No. Twilight told you to tell me to come home, right?”

“Oh, so you heard that. Yeah, she did say that, and since you’re here, I’ll say it: she wants you to come home.”

“Well, if that’s all she asked you to do, then it doesn’t really have an impact on you if I say ‘yes’ or ‘no’, right?” Spike asked.

“Sorry?” I asked, confused.

“It’s simple,” said Spike, looking rather shrewd. “Twilight told you to tell me to come home. Well, you’ve told me. That’s all you were supposed to do, right? Nothing else?”

“Err, I guess so?”

“Well, then, since you’ve done your part, you don’t have to worry about me wanting to go home right when you tell me.” 

Spike looked immensely proud of himself for being so clever, while I was still trying to wrap my head around his logic.

“I...think I see what you mean,” I said, finally. “In short, you’re abusing a loophole.”

“Something like that,” said Spike, grinning. “So, then, if Twilight runs into you again, could you keep quiet about seeing me? Please? Do me a solid, Dave.”

He clasped his claws in supplication, begging me with reptilian puppy-dog eyes. Technically, Spike had a point, especially since I had witnessed Twilight’s super-nitpicky attitude first hand, but even so, she was my friend, too. What was I to do?

At last, I heaved a sigh, and said,

“Ok,” I said. “I won’t tell her I saw you just now.”

Spike’s face brightened up at once.

“Thanks, Dave! You’re the best!”

And he disappeared back into the bush. Before I could even stand back up, Twilight’s voice made me jump.

“Dave? What were you doing just now?”

I had honestly not expected her to come back this way so soon. I stood bolt upright, turning to look at her. Her head was tilted to one side in polite curiosity, an expression absolutely adorable in a pony. What I’d just promised Spike flashed into my head, and a hot sweat broke over me. What was I supposed to tell her?

“I...thought I dropped something,” I said, “so I was bending down to see if I had. Turns out I hadn’t, heh-heh.”

I tried to look as innocent as I could, and could only imagine I was doing a poor job of it. Miraculously, however, Twilight smiled.

“All right, then. See you later, Dave!”

“See ya, Twi.”

And Twilight trotted off, burying her nose back in her clipboard. As she left, I couldn’t help feeling worried about Spike. After that micromanaging speech, I felt the little guy was perfectly justified in wanting some peace and quiet. I would, if it were me. I had to wonder how he stayed sane with Twi’s nitpicky, persnickety tendencies, Winter Wrap Up or no. That wasn’t even taking into account how he had to suffer through her little hissy fit when she was first told she was going to have a test. To endure all that and to only express a need to keep out of the way for the day was pretty remarkable.

“He must really have a strong bond with her, to stick with her for this long,” I said to myself. “Twi’s a great friend, but I don’t think I could handle being her assistant.”


***


That evening, I was at the piano once more. I hadn’t played in about a week, and I didn’t want to lose any progress. I’ll admit, I kind of lost myself in playing, and couldn’t help singing out loud.

“...You raise me up
So I can stand on mountains
You raise me up
To walk on stormy seas...”

“Keep playing like that, and the whole neighborhood’s going to come running to hear.”

I looked up. I’d left my window open, and there, leaning on the sill and being very giggly, was Moonlight. I smiled at her.

“Hey, you,” I said, genially. “Come on in.”

Moonlight climbed in easily, being such a thin pony, and settled beside me on the bench. There, she sidled up right beside me.

“How was your trip to the Pie farm?” she asked.

“Surprisingly eventful,” I said. “I think you’d really like it there, Moonlight. The idea of a rock farm’s off-putting at first, but once you get to know Pinkie’s folks, you’ll see they’re practically as close-knit as the Apples, and that’s saying something.”

“Wow,” said Moonlight. “Pinkie talks about them sometimes at work, during one of her rambles, and she’s never had a bad thing to say about any of them. I’d love to meet them.”

“I’m sure they’d love you,” I said, putting an arm around her and giving her a little squeeze. “A pony like you could make friends with a hydra, if you wanted to. Mind you, I’ve never actually seen a hydra in person (thank goodness), but-”

Moonlight laughed.

“That’s sweet of you, Dave, but I’m no Pinkie or Fluttershy.”

“That’s only because you’re too good at being you,” I replied, smiling.

Moonlight smiled back and leaned against me. We sat there in silence for a bit, before I suddenly remembered what Twilight had said.

“I’ve got good news!” I said, right at the same time Moonlight said it.

We blinked at each other in surprise.

“You go first,” we both said, in the same breath.

“No, you,” we persisted.

Moonlight giggled, breaking up the spontaneous synchronization.

“Seriously, Dave, you can go first,” she said.

“All right, then,” I said. “Has Twilight been by to see you?”

“Yes, she has!” said Moonlight, eagerly. “She told me! We’re working together for Winter Wrap Up!”

“I know!” I said. “Isn’t that great?”

“It is! I just hope I don’t mess up too badly. I’ve never been part of a Winter Wrap Up before. I don’t think so, anyway,” she added, looking thoughtful.

“Trust me, Moonlight,” I said, dryly, “if anyone’s got reason to worry about messing up, it’s me. I feel like I’m always messing something up when I’m needed the most.”

“Oh, don’t be so hard on yourself,” said Moonlight, nudging me in the side. “Would you still be part of the royal council if you were as big a screw-up as you think you are?”

I considered.

“Well, ok, you have a point,” I consented. “I do tend to exaggerate sometimes. I guess I’m just kind of nervous.”

“So am I,” said Moonlight, “but we can do it together!”

“Definitely,” I said. “So, what was your big news?”

“Oh! Right!”

Moonlight looked excited.

“While you were away, they announced the next Daring Do book!”

“What?! Really?” I shouted in surprise. “What is it? When’s it coming out?”

“It’s called Daring Do and the Rings of Scorchero, and right now, it’s due to come out in two months.”

Moonlight’s excited mood dropped a bit when she got to the release date. I didn’t blame her.

“Two whole months?” I asked, disappointed. “That’s two months too many.”

“I know, right? Rainbow Dash is already counting down the days.”

“She and Twilight both, I bet,” I quipped, unable to keep from chuckling, and Moonlight giggled. “Well, at least we know when to look forward to it.”

“Mm-hmm,” said Moonlight, nodding.

I then noticed that she was looking me up and down, looking thoughtful.

“Something wrong?” I asked.

“No,” she said. “Far from it. You really look like you’ve lost weight, Dave!”

“Do I?” I asked, looking down at myself. “I guess I never really noticed. I’m tempted, but I’m still holding off on a final weigh-in until Winter Wrap Up. I don’t wanna build up false hopes in myself and risk an early relapse out of cockiness.”

“Heh, good idea,” said Moonlight. “I wonder how far Lyra and Bon Bon have gotten, if you’re doing this well.”

“Well, Lyra’s been doing really well since she started,” I said, “but I’m more concerned about how soon she’ll start packing on the pounds again once she’s allowed to taste-test normal candies once more.”

Moonlight burst into a fit of the giggles, and I wasn’t long in joining her mirth. With the window opened, I’d wager the Hooves family at least could hear us, and wonder what in Equestria was so funny.

Sunday, February 24

> Last Week of Winter
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day, about mid-afternoon, I decided to head on over to the library and see if there was something else Moonlight and I could read together. Otherwise, we’d probably just have to find something else to do. Maybe I could bring her on walks with me, or we could play board games, or find films to watch, like we did with the Daring Do movie. I had to admit, though, reading Daring Do together had been a lot of fun.

“Hey, Dave.”

“Hey, Spike.”

It took a couple seconds for me to process what I’d just heard and said, and stopped short. Wheeling around, I saw Spike sitting under an awning, a comic book in his claws.

“Time away from Twilight again?” I asked.

“Yep,” said Spike. “Thanks for not telling her where I was yesterday.”

“No problem,” I said, still remembering Twi’s ‘instructions’ and ‘precautions’. “What’s that you’re reading, by the way?”

“Power Ponies,” said Spike, looking up. “You oughta check it out sometime, Dave. It’s awesome!”

“Well, I’ve never been much into superhero comics,” I said, “but that’s not to say I don’t like superheroes in general. What’s ‘Power Ponies’ about?”

Spike, keeping his place in the book by holding his thumb between the pages, turned it around so that I could see the cover. I could see a pair of mares, a pegasus and an Earth pony, dressed in colorful, stylized jumpsuits, standing in battle-ready poses, as a stallion in the guise of an Egyptian pharaoh loomed over them menacingly. The pegasus was dressed in navy blue and white, had a wild mohawk and a lightning bolt chain around her neck, while the Earth pony was in red and black, with green wrappings around her mane and tail, a black saddle on her back, and a lasso belted at her side.

“The Power Ponies are six superheroes who protect Maretropolis from the forces of evil!” said Spike, zealously. “These two here are Zapp and Mistress Mare-velous! Zapp can call upon the power of storms with her lightning pendant, and Mistress Mare-velous battles with super strength, a psychic lasso, and hoofarangs! And the guy up there is Pharaoh Phetlock, who controls a huge army of mummy minions!”

“Wow,” I said, already noticing some parallels between these heroes and ones we had back home. “Are either of those your favorites?”

“Oh, every one of the Power Ponies is awesome!” said Spike. “But I’ll always have a soft spot for Radiance. She can make energy constructs from her jewelry. Now, I know what you’re thinking,” Spike added, shrewdly, “and I don’t blame you. A lot of fans think she’s the least interesting out of them, and that all she cares about is looking good. Sure, she’s appeared on the cover of fashion magazines at least 3 times, but they don’t understand the core of her character, her sense of altruism, her constant self-sacrifice in the face of danger! Heck, she took down High Heel all by herself when she threatened to flatten Maretropolis with giant cleats! Hers is a character only a true comic fan can appreciate!”

“I see,” I said, both amused and bemused at this. I hadn’t been implying anything at all.

“It’s an awesome series, Dave!” Spike went on. “You should totally check it out!”

“Maybe I will check it out,” I said. “You’ve definitely intrigued me.”

Spike beamed at this, and with that, we bid each other good day, and I continued on toward the library. Did the library itself carry Power Ponies comics, or would I have to borrow them from Spike? I wondered if he’d be so willing, friends though we were.

At last, I arrived at the library, and knocked on the door.

“Hoo.”

I’d know that hoot anywhere.

“It’s me, Dave,” I said.

“Hoo-hoo.”

I supposed that must mean ‘come in’, so I opened the door and stepped inside. Owlowiscious was sitting in the window closest to the door, like a vigilant lookout.

“Hey, little guy,” I said, stroking his feathers. “Is Twilight in?”

“Hoo.”

He pointed his wing in the direction of the kitchen.

“Ah, all right,” I said. “I’m just gonna browse the shelves. Now that Daring Do’s on hiatus, I need something else to read, know what I mean?”

“Hoo.”

I headed over to the bookshelves and started browsing them, beginning from the very topmost shelf of the immediate left-hand bookcase. I didn’t know what I was looking for, but I figured it paid to start from the beginning, so as not to miss anything.

“Let’s see. What would be a good genre to pursue after so many adventure stories? Hmm...Romance? Nah, I don’t think so. Horror? Ugh, definitely not. Mystery? I always did like a good mystery. I wonder if Moonlight does, too.”

“Hello, Dave!”

I looked up at that familiar voice. Twilight had trotted in, looking pleased to see me, but she wasn’t alone.

“Zecora!” I said, pleasantly surprised.

My zebra friend gave me a warm smile.

“My dear Dave, you’re a pleasant sight to see!” she said. “Would you care to join us for some tea?”

It was only then that I noticed Twilight was levitating a tea tray, fully laden.

“Well, don’t mind if I do,” I said.

The three of us sat down at the nearest table, and a mug full of tea, bearing a rather strong aroma, was placed before me. I took a tentative sniff at it, blew on it, then took a sip. The taste was as strong as the smell, and the shock nearly made me spit it back out, but I swallowed it. It reminded me of very strong spearmint, not bad-tasting, but staggering in its kick.

“Wow!” I said, with a slight cough. “That’s some powerful stuff!”

“It’s Zecora’s personal recipe,” said Twilight, “made from all-natural herbs growing in the Everfree Forest. Her blends work wonders for what ails you.”

“There is potent magic hidden in every herb and root,” said Zecora. “Bringing it out to the fullest is a worthwhile pursuit. The tiniest leaf, the smallest seed, the very merest twig can pep you up, restore your health, or make you do a jig.”

“That’s almost poetry right there,” I said, “though I don’t quite fancy doing a jig in the Everfree Forest, where the timberwolves are likely to see me.”

Twilight giggled, and Zecora chuckled.

“We were just talking about Winter Wrap Up,” said Twilight. “Since the Everfree Forest handles its own weather, there’s nothing Zecora needs to do for her neck of the woods, so to speak, so she offered to help us out in Ponyville.”

“For you ponies who showed me such kindness of heart, I am more than willing to play my own part,” said Zecora. “I will be content to be one with the crowd, as I am aware that magic is not allowed.”

“You’re not allowed to use magic during Winter Wrap Up?” I asked.

“It’s not advisable,” said Twilight. “Back in Canterlot, the unicorns use magic to clear winter away, but Ponyville was founded by Earth ponies, so we respect their legacy by doing it their way: without magic. And besides, I learned my lesson during my first Winter Wrap Up.”

“What happened?” I asked, curious.

“Well…” said Twilight, her cheeks going pink, “let’s just say I was a little desperate to do my own part, and my efforts kind of...snowballed into a big mess.”

“Oh,” I said, wondering why she laid so much emphasis on the word ‘snowballed’.

“But that’s all in the past,” said Twilight, brightly. “This Winter Wrap Up’s going to go smooth as clockwork, mark my words.”

“With you at the helm, how can it not?” I asked.

Twilight smiled.

“So, what were you looking for when Zecora and I came in?” she asked.

“Oh! Well, since Daring Do’s on hiatus-”

“Don’t remind me,” Twilight muttered, a definite bitterness in her tone.

“-I decided to see if there was anything else that Moonlight and I could read together, if no other pastimes strike our fancy. I was actually thinking about taking out a good mystery. Do you have any personal recommendations?”

Twilight’s eyes twinkled in a way I recognized: her inner bookworm had awakened.

“As if you need to ask!” she said.

Her horn flared up, and Zecora and I had to duck as several volumes came whizzing over from every corner of the room. They rotated around her head like a planetary ring, displaying the covers for me to see.

“You can never go wrong with the classic Sherlock Pones stories, or even the Nagatha Christie line: suspenseful, gripping, and full of more twists than Pinkie Pie’s hoof-made pretzels. Buuut,” she added, an idea seeming to strike her, “I think you’d also do pretty well with the adventures of Shadow Spade, one of the cleverest (and most sharp-dressed) mares in fiction!”

She showed me a volume with an attractive unicorn mare on the front cover, dressed in a burgundy rain coat and matching fedora hat, one hoof held to the brim, her visible eye looking askance with a look of serious thoughtfulness.

“I got Rarity hooked on it just recently,” said Twilight. “Normally, she’s all for romance novels, which there’s nothing wrong with, but I’ve never personally indulged in them all that much. However, once she started reading the Shadow Spade series, and saw what a mare of fashion she was, the rest was history!” She giggled, then went on, “Plus, I heard she and Moonlight really hit it off at the spa, so this could be something the three of you could enjoy together!”

“That sounds perfect!” I said. “Hook me up with the first volume, then, Madame Librarian.”

Smiling, Twilight placed the book she’d just shown me into my hands, and I set it gently aside, while the three of us commenced with our tea. I wondered how Moonlight would feel if our readings together expanded to include one more pony into the fold, or if she’d rather just confine it to the two of us and keep the subject as a talking point with Rarity whenever we met. I honestly didn’t mind either option, but I’d have to see for myself just how engaging these stories actually were before coming to any snap judgements.

“I think it’s great that you’re expanding your horizons, Dave,” Twilight said. “I just wish I could get Rainbow Dash interested in anything besides Daring Do, but I’m starting to think it’s a lost cause.”

“Truly, anypony stubborn or brash will meet their match in Rainbow Dash,” said Zecora, shaking her head.

“Oh, I dunno,” I said. “If A.K. Yearling ever gives Dowser a spinoff series (which she ought to), I’m sure Dash’d be hooked on that as well.”

“Oh, yes!” said Twilight, her eyes twinkling again. “I mean, think about it! Now that Dowser’s on his own, without Daring to shelter him, there’s so much potential to write about his own adventures! A.K. Yearling’s planted the seeds for so much potential excitement and adventure! I’m sure she gets letters about it all the time these days, so the idea can’t have escaped her. If you ask me…”

And she was off on another tangent again. Zecora looked bemused, but at least I could follow the conversation...up until Twilight started calculating the odds of a certain scene in one of the earlier books becoming foreshadowing for the next. The math flew right over my head.

Monday, February 25


***


Moonlight had been busy the previous day, and I wanted us to experience Shadow Spade’s adventures together, so I held off on reading it for myself for the time being. The next morning, I was out for my daily walk, when I heard the crunch of hooves on snow, and a familiar voice called,

“Going my way, friend?”

I looked ‘round. Lyra had trotted up to me, sweater-clad and smiling up at me, so I smiled back.

“Hey there,” I said. “I haven’t seen you or Bon Bon for a while. Where is she?”

“Back at home. She was up late last night working on a new recipe, so I let her sleep in. She looks so cute when she’s sleepy,” Lyra added, fondly. “Heck, she’s cute all the time.”

I had a fleeting mental image of Bon Bon fast asleep in a bed, and Lyra, up and awake, leaning over to kiss her on the cheek, bringing a smile to the candy mare’s face.

“So I take it things are going well between you two?” I asked.

“Really well,” said Lyra. “Do you know what it’s like, Dave, to wake up and realize that you’re sharing a room, a home, even, with the mare you love?”

“I can easily imagine it being a near-heavenly feeling,” I said.

“Couldn’t have put it better myself,” said Lyra, beaming. “How’s the diet going?”

“Pretty well,” I said. “I’m still waiting until Winter Wrap Up, or at least the night before, to give myself a final weigh-in.”

“Ahh, holding out for a dramatic finale, huh?” asked Lyra, winking. “I getcha.”

“And how about you?” I asked. “You’re looking a lot fitter than usual.”

“Flatterer,” teased Lyra. “I don’t think I’m ever gonna be ‘belly-less’, but I feel fantastic! I’m fitting in a lot of my old clothes now, ones that were feeling too tight on me before!”

“That’s wonderful!” I said. “And to think, what a fuss you made before we began, back when you were so big you broke a chair.”

“Oh, shush,” she said, bumping me in the side with her hip. 

“Oh, relax,” I said. “I’m only teasing.”

“I know.”

“And how about Bon Bon?” I asked.

“She’s always been skinnier than me,” said Lyra, “so that ‘pudding belly’ of hers is practically gone now.”

“Ahh, that’s good to hear.” 

“And how about your piano practice, my young grasshopper?” Lyra asked, in a mock-scholarly tone.

“I’m getting along, sensei,” I quipped back. “But I wouldn’t have made any progress without you or Bon Bon, so thank you.”

“No problem, buddy,” said Lyra. “That’s what friends do: look out for each other, just like you and Bonnie supporting me on this diet.”

She nuzzled up beside me, and I put an arm about her, smiling. After that, the pair of us just walked on in silence, content just to be side by side. At least, until a snowball hit me in the back of the head. When I turned to see who had thrown it, I didn’t see anyone, but Lyra was whistling a little too innocently, with a fading glow around her horn. That told me everything I needed to know. I retaliated with one of my own, and soon, our leisurely walk had turned into a childish snowball fight, both of us laughing like little kids.


***


That evening, after drying off and warming up, I again waited for Moonlight to potentially show up, but again, I was disappointed. I didn’t just sit around doing nothing, of course. I didn’t know whether or not she’d actually show up, as she didn’t stop by every day, but I still kept half an ear open for any knock at the door. 

I wondered what it could be that was taking up her time. Was she working longer hours at Sugarcube Corner? If that was the case, then being too tired or preoccupied for anything else was perfectly justifiable. Maybe she was trying to put more time into that story she was writing, the one she apparently didn’t want me to know about. I couldn’t help wondering what the end result of it would be, if she ever did finish it, but I hoped she did, so I wanted to respect her wish to keep it quiet until she wished otherwise.

Whatever the case, I wasn’t about to begrudge her spending time doing stuff that didn’t have to do with me. She was fun to hang around with, and it warmed my heart how far she’d come since I’d first met her, but she was fully at liberty to do whatever she wanted and with whomever she chose. She was accomplishing that nicely, too, from what I could see. She was working with and hanging out with Pinkie, and had even found something in common with Rarity. Maybe she’d been spending time with other ponies I hadn’t even heard about. More power to her.

I was just putting in some more piano practice when there came a knock at the door. Wondering if that could be Moonlight, I got up to answer, but it wasn’t her. It was Rarity, levitating some rectangular clothing boxes beside her.

“Oh! Good evening, Rarity.”

“Hello, darling,” said Rarity. “I’ve come bearing the gift of new apparel, and just in time for spring!”

She separated the boxes in her magic, opening them up and displaying the contents one by one. Besides some more underpants and socks, there were two new T-shirts, a pair of jeans, and a pair of khaki pants. There was also, displayed last of all among these, a bowler hat, which she levitated onto my head. It fit perfectly.

“A bowler?” I asked, pleasantly surprised. “Rarity, you spoil me with these fancy hats.”

“Only because they suit you so well,” said Rarity, giggling. “And last, but not least, as requested by Twilight, voila!”

The last box she opened contained a large vest, dark blue, with a shield-shaped emblem close to the hem, bearing a sun symbol. She held it up for me to take a good look.

“Snazzy,” I said, approvingly.

“Isn’t it, though?” asked Rarity, fondly. “Blue suits you very well, Dave, but the brown vest of the animal division would really bring out the color of your eyes, the sort of brown that works well without needing to be an accent. Otherwise, I might have objected to it when I joined the animal division.”

“What do you do?” I asked.

“I assist in building bird’s nests,” said Rarity. “When the weather team guides the southern birds in from their time away, they’ll find very pleasant nests to live and lay their eggs in, once we’re done.”

“If you’re making them, I’m sure they’ll be lovely,” I said, sincerely.

“Oh, stop, Dave,” said Rarity, batting my hand lightly with her hoof. “If I spoil you with new clothes, you know how to spoil a lady with words.”

I couldn’t help blushing.

“I just delivered Moonlight her vest before coming over here,” Rarity went on.

“Oh? So she’s home?” I asked.

“Yes, but the poor dear was yawning worse than Applejack when she tried to harvest the apple orchards by herself. Whatever she was up to, it must’ve been exhausting.”

(Probably pulling an all-nighter on that story of hers. Poor thing.)

“Poor thing,” I said, aloud.

“I quite agree,” sympathized Rarity. “Well, if she ever needs to unwind at the spa again, she knows where to find me. I’d better be off, then. Ta, darling.”

“Good night, Rarity, and thanks.”

“You’re very welcome.”

She repacked the clothes into their boxes, gently stacked them in my arms, tipped me a wink and a smile, and trotted off back towards Ponyville. Two emotions were uppermost in me at the moment: gratitude for Rarity’s gift, and concern for Moonlight. I hadn’t even thought to bring up Shadow Spade while Rarity was here; it hadn’t felt like the proper time.

“Whatever this story Moonlight’s writing is,” I muttered, going to put away my new clothes, “I hope she finishes it soon, for her sake.”

Tuesday, February 26


***


The next day, Ironmane must’ve realized he’d forgotten to tell me how I was getting to Canterlot this time, and, to be honest, it had slipped my mind as well. Be that as it may, I received a brief letter from him which read,

David,
Be ready at 9 A.M. for your carriage to Canterlot. I apologize for not relaying this information to you earlier.
Trusting you will be punctual,
Yours sincerely,
Minister Ironmane

Thank goodness for that. Otherwise, I might have jumped the gun and made the pegasi pulling the carriage come for nothing. On the other hand, this also meant another high-up ride, and in an open carriage this time, too. My fear of heights was really being put to the test in Equestria.

Today, I took to wandering around Ponyville, paying little visits to ponies I hadn’t seen much of as of late. Daisy, Lily, and Rose were in good spirits, and had been collaborating with Golden Harvest, Applejack, and fellow market-ponies to prepare seeds for planting crops and flowers once the snow was cleared away. Even Caramel was in on it, as he’d been tasked with preparing the grass seeds, and seemed very particular about them.

“If I forget them this year,” he told me, grimly, “I’ll really be in for it.”

I didn’t quite know what he meant, but I wished them all the best of luck. Berry Punch invited me to sample some grape-lemonade she had made recently, which tasted so delicious that I immediately bought a bottle. She also showed me a new white-grape wine she had prepared for welcoming spring in, called ‘Springtime Swig’.

“Gotta ring in the new season with the good stuff, y’know,” she said, proudly, and all I could do was agree with her.

I even paid Screwball a visit at her eccentric home. It was around lunchtime, and she was so delighted to see me that she invited me in for a meal. How could I refuse? She served macaroni and alfredo ready-made and piping hot by dumping it out of a freshly-opened soup can, thumping the bottom of it like a stubborn bottle of ketchup, and poured apple juice into glasses by simply dropping fresh, whole apples into them, whereupon they spontaneously liquified, without leaving seeds behind.

“Delicious and inventive,” I told her. “You’d make a lot of chefs jealous with your skill.”

Screwball beamed, which made the sound of a baby cooing.


***


I was still roaming about around mid-afternoon, and was just on my way back home when I heard someone call out. 

“There he is! Dave! Oh, Dave!”

I stopped, and turned around. I knew that voice. Sure enough, Diamond Tiara was trotting purposefully up to me, accompanied by Silver Spoon, though both were looking fairly benign.

“Hello, girls,” I said. “Something I can help you with?”

“Yes, actually,” said Diamond Tiara. “Your b- er, I mean, your Crusader friends were passing these around yesterday, and we figured you might be able to explain what they’re all about.”

I could tell she’d been about to say ‘blank flank’, and even though she had to stop herself, as though it were a bad habit she was trying to break, I was glad she restrained herself. Silver Spoon handed me a flyer, which I saw bore a doodle (and an admittedly good one at that) of a curtained, spotlit stage bearing a piano, and surrounded by musical notes. The title read ‘Cutie Mark Crusaders Amateur Concert’, and there were various captions around it. ‘Spectacular performances!’ ‘Special guest performers!’ ‘Date: To be determined’.

“Is this just another ‘Crusade’ to get their cutie marks?” asked Silver Spoon, adding sarcastic emphasis on the word ‘Crusade’.

“Yes and no,” I said. “We decided to put together an amateur concert for all of Ponyville to see. We still haven’t decided on a date, but we welcome anypony who’d like to perform. Would you two happen to be interested?”

Both girls looked surprised, then looked at each other, then back at me. Diamond Tiara looked like she was about to say something, stopped herself, then gave a scoff.

“If the Crusaders are behind it, it’s bound to at least be worth watching,” she said, though her tone suggested that this wasn’t meant as the usual compliment. “I mean, I’m sure you’ll add some class at least, Dave,” she added, in a more sincere tone.

“Thanks,” I said, willing to just accept the compliment.

“I might consider it,” Diamond Tiara went on, loftily, “if I’ve got nothing better to do.”

“Me too,” said Silver Spoon.

“Well, the more the merrier,” I said, enthusiastically.

The two fillies merely smirked at each other. However, they bid me a cordial adieu before moving on. I watched them go, feeling at an utter loss about what to make of them. They still seemed to retain some remnants of their old behavior, and yet they were usually quite polite with me, even friendly, despite their comments about my friends. 

Not to mention, Silver Spoon had sent me a Hearts and Hooves card, so she at least was a degree or so friendlier than Diamond Tiara. Having met Spoiled Rich, I could see where her daughter had gotten her better-than-thou attitude, but was that the same for Silver Spoon, I wondered? It seemed even less the case, for as they were walking off, Silver Spoon turned to look back at me, and gave me a little smile, which I reciprocated with a wave.

“If I ever have kids,” I muttered, wending my way home again, “I’ll spoil them sweet, not rotten, if it ever comes to that.”

Wednesday, February 27
> Revelations on the Last Day of Winter
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I woke up earlier than usual the next morning, getting ready to head to Canterlot. By 8:45, I was showered, had had breakfast, and was fully arrayed in my ‘council clothes’. It had been a while since I’d worn my fancier outfit, but it seemed to fit a bit more loosely than usual. I might need to see Rarity about having it tailored. Still, I was finally planning to weigh myself tonight, to see just how well I’d done these past two months.

At 9 o’clock, on the dot, there came a knock at the door. I opened it up to find a solemn-faced pegasus guard standing before me. Beyond him, I could see a one-seater carriage, and another pegasus hitched up to it, as stoic as a statue.

“Good morning, Councilstallion,” said the guard. “Are you prepared?”

“Yes, thanks,” I said.

With my gem-topped walking stick in hand, I closed and locked the door behind me, and followed the guard to the carriage. While he hitched himself back up in front, I sat down inside, took off my hat, tucked it under my feet with my cane, and kept a firm grip on the sides.

“Ready, sir?” called the guard.

Swallowing hard, I said,

“Ready when you are.”

To my great surprise, however, instead of taking off into the sky, the guards simply started off at a brisk trot. I blinked, unable to understand what was going on.

“Umm, excuse me?” I piped up. “Aren’t we flying to Canterlot?”

“There’s no need,” said the first guard. “There is no urgency in your conveyance. The ground trail shall suffice.”

“Oh,” I said. “Well, all right, then.”

I could hardly believe this. I hadn’t even considered the possibility of going on foot, er, hoof to Canterlot. But then, why send pegasus guards if we were going by land? Or maybe perhaps they’d flown here themselves, and were returning back on hoof? Ah well, whatever the reason, who was I to look a gift horse in the mouth. I didn’t have to travel by air this time, and that was good enough for me. For now, I just sat back and enjoyed the scenic view of my surroundings as the guards went along, hoping I didn’t look haughty or pompous to passersby.

As time passed, I was beginning to get tired of the silence, so I decided to break it.

“So, uh, royal guards, huh?” I asked. “How’d you join up?”

Neither of them responded.

“Does it pay well?” I tried again. “I’d imagine so. I mean, protecting the princesses of your country isn’t a small thing, after all.”

Still nothing.

“Err...either of you bowl?”

“My brother does,” said the second guard.

Finally! A response!

“Really?” I asked. “Interesting! You know, we’ve got a bowling team here in Ponyville. Well, two, actually. All-stallions and all-mares.”

“That's nice,” said the guard.

And the silence returned with a vengeance. I sighed.

“This is gonna be a long trip,” I muttered to myself.


***


After what felt like an age and a half, broken up by sporadic attempts at conversation, I finally arrived. I thanked the guards, and made my way into the castle. As good as it was not to travel by air again, I really needed to stretch my legs after that. 

Minister Ironmane was waiting outside the council room again by the time I got there. I wasn’t sure if it was me, but he looked slightly younger than when I’d last seen him. His face seemed less lined and stern, although he still looked prim and stoic. He looked up at the sound of my feet, and his muzzle curled into the merest of smiles.

“Good morning, David,” he said, crisply.

“Good morning, sir,” I said. “I hope you enjoyed your vacation.”

“Quite well, thank you,” said Ironmane. “Step on inside. The rest of the council has already assembled, and we’re just waiting on the acting princess.”

I nodded and did as I was bid. When I stepped inside, I saw that, indeed, all of my fellow councilmembers were already seated around the table. There was, however, a new pony this time around. He was a sharp-dressed stallion whom I thought I’d seen before, but couldn’t place where at the moment. He smiled at me, and I smiled back before taking my usual seat.

“Hello, everyone,” I said. “I hope you’re all doing all right.”

The rest of the council nodded and gave various replies of friendly assent.

“We’re just eagerly anticipating the start of spring, dear boy,” said Apollo. “A new season brings new beginnings, after all. The sunshine and flower-perfumed air washes away the chill and frost of the winter before, and while we do not simply cast aside the memories made in that time, we look ever forward to making new ones now.”

“Oh, my, I quite like that,” said Rolling Stone, with interest. “There’s a poem in that, I feel.”

“Eh, seasons don’t do much to change my day-to-day life,” said Sure Shot, carelessly. “The sun rises, the sun sets, maybe it’s a little nippy, maybe it’s a little hot, that’s all there is to it for me.”

“Maybe, but you don’t have to worry about getting the weather prepared,” quipped Eagle Eye. “I’ve been pulled off Stormwing duty to pitch in for spring prep, and it’s not as easy as you might think.”

“I never said it was,” said Sure Shot, still in that same careless tone. “I’ve read Neely’s book, so I know what you pegasi gotta put up with.”

“You flatter me, Sure Shot,” said Cornelius, “but no matter how extensive the research or expressive the writing, I could never fully explain the wonderful way pegasus magic works, mere donkey that I am.”

“Oh, I dunno,” said Eagle Eye, smirking at the old donkey. “You did a pretty good job, I’d say.”

Cornelius bowed his head in appreciation of this compliment.

“How’s the Lounge doing?” I asked Brutus. “Business still good?”

“Better than good, kid,” said Brutus, grinning. “No shortage of customers, and the gems keep on a’comin’! I don’t know how that Sparkler Hooves does it.”

“I’ve been wondering, though,” said Rock Solid. “How did you manage to hire a Diamond Dog on the wait staff?”

“Oh, there’s more than one, actually,” said Brutus, “and they’re not all bad. It’s just bad luck that the ones discovered for research were territorial and aggressive. Give them a fair supply of gems to keep, and they’re as loyal as house dogs.”

At that moment, there was a loud clearing of the throat, and the babble of talk broke off at once. Ironmane had entered, followed by none other than Princess Celestia, her mane and tail as freely flowing as ever. Everyone bowed in their seats, and I did the same. As she looked around at us all, she caught my eye and gave me a kind, motherly smile. I smiled bashfully back, as she and Ironmane took their seats.

“I want to thank you all for coming,” said Ironmane, “especially you, Your Highness. We are immensely grateful that you can spare some time for the council.” 

“The pleasure is all mine, Minister Ironmane,” said Celestia, inclining her head graciously.

“I have several important announcements to make,” Ironmane went on, “and it was imperative for all of you to be in attendance. I shall try to be brief, however, as I realize many of you have preparations to make for the end of winter and beginning of spring.”

I looked askance at Eagle Eye, since she’d been talking about just such a thing, and she winked at me. Ironmane cleared his throat again, and continued,

“First of all, I wish to speak about a very important change that is to take place. My wife and I had been thinking on it for some time, ever since recent events, and in the end, we have come to a mutual decision. We, the two of us, have decided to relocate to the Crystal Empire.”

The force of this sudden revelation hit me like a sack of Legos to the side of the head. I sat there, mouth agape, disbelief stamped all over my face. Ironmane leaving Canterlot? Ironmane going to live in the Crystal Empire?  Did this mean we wouldn’t see each other anymore, or at least as often as in the past? Part of me was grateful for it, but another part of me felt saddened. Ironmane and I had gotten off to a rocky start, sure, but as he’d come to accept me as a fellow council member, I’d come to respect him as well. What was I supposed to feel? What could I even say to something like this?

I wasn’t the only one taken aback. Everywhere, looks of surprise and shock were imprinted on every countenance except Ironmane’s, Celestia’s, and that of the newcomer, who had as yet not said a word.

“It’s quite a bit to take in, I know,” said Princess Celestia, “but do not be dismayed or discouraged. Ironmane shall still act in his present capacity as the Equestrian Minister of Foreign Affairs. In addition, he has humbly accepted the position of representative to the Crystal Empire.”

She nodded to one of the empty chairs, the ones so coated with dust that they might have been mistaken for being painted white. The hush that filled the room seemed to tauten like a pulled rope.

“I would like to add,” Celestia went on, in a kinder tone, turning to Ironmane, “that I am deeply grateful for everything you have done as a part of the royal court, Ironmane. You may no longer be living in Canterlot, but you shall ever be one of my most faithful councilstallions and dearest friends. I shall miss having you by my side.”

She laid a hoof on his. Gently, he raised it and kissed it.

“Thank you, Your Highness,” he said, “and for my part, I am forever grateful to serve and protect a pony such as yourself, wherever I may be.”

There was silence at first, but then, a warm feeling spreading through me, I started clapping. Everyone looked at me, and I felt awkward being the only one doing it, but I wasn’t destined to do it alone. Cornelius started clapping next, then Apollo, then Eagle Eye, until everyone was applauding. Ironmane bowed his head in token of this.

“Thank you, everypony,” he said. “Even though this isn’t goodbye as far as my part in the council is concerned, I greatly appreciate your kindness.” 

He cleared his throat again, and went on,

“As I am taking on this position, in my stead as the Canterlot representative of the Council, Princess Celestia and I have chosen another candidate, one who has always had the best interests of Canterlot society at heart. For those unacquainted, I have great pleasure in introducing to you, Fancy Pants.”

Now I knew where I’d seen that stallion before! I’d seen him on my very first day in Canterlot! He was one of Rarity’s acquaintances, a stallion with a lot of clout in Canterlot society. I supposed it made sense for somepony like him to represent the city.

Upon being introduced, Fancy Pants nodded to everypony assembled as we applauded (in spite of my perplexity and surprise), and said,

“Thank you, everypony. When I was first approached on this matter, I was quite astonished. However, I have never been one to question the wisdom and judgement of the princesses, so I humbly accepted the position. I only hope that what I have to offer will be equal to what Minister Ironmane has given to Canterlot.”

More applause followed this. I quite liked his way of speaking; aristocratic, yet friendly, kind of like Apollo, except less flowery.

“We’re quite sure you’ll do spectacularly, Fancy Pants,” said Ironmane, and Celestia nodded. “And now that those larger announcements have been made, I’m afraid there are a few more trifling points to discuss. For instance, Apollo, what is the status on the reconstruction efforts in Griffonstone?”

Apollo sighed wearily.

“I’ve sent letters goodness knows how many times, telling the Griffonstonians that I will be more than willing to donate funds for the benefit of the city. They’re eager to accept bits, of course, but I never see them put them to any practical use. They just like possessing the gold rather than using it for what it was intended for. Take the library, for example…”


***


The rest of the meeting was devoted to discussions of this kind, interesting in their own capacities, but not as much as the news of Ironmane moving or Fancy Pants representing Canterlot. It was fascinating to hear about what was going on outside of the comfortable zone of society I’d been a part of for so long, without venturing far from it. 

Griffons in Griffonstone, capital of the Griffon Kingdom, were apparently not using the money donated to them for what sounded like much-needed renovations. They were instead keeping it for the sake of having it, hoarding it with the greed of dragons. Apollo, philanthropic as he was, wished to see his efforts come to fruition eventually, but there seemed little hope, in spite of the Griffellow family’s influence. 

There had been some trouble in Sure Shot’s quarter of Manehattan. Besides being an ambassador, he served as a sort of peacekeeper. Lately, there had been contention between some salt runners and the more high-scale ponies in his neck of the woods, and he was trying to ensure that they didn’t come to blows with each other. Salt was a risky indulgence to sell in large quantities these days, it seemed.

Brutus, meanwhile, claimed that there were still dragons who were not entirely enthusiastic about peace between them and pony kind, particularly among the younger generation. However, he felt confident that, if Dragon Lord Torch was on board with it, they would come around to his way of thinking. After all, no dragon dared to contradict the Dragon Lord right in front of him.

Announcements and reports of this sort continued. I had nothing major to contribute, and I wasn’t prevailed upon to say anything, so I merely listened, eyes and ears wide open. At last, after Ironmane stated that he and Princess Celestia were making arrangements to elect a new inspector for the upcoming Equestria Games, the meeting was adjourned. The rest of the council got up, and individually came up to Ironmane to shake him by the hoof and congratulate him on his recent accomplishment. I lagged behind, as did Princess Celestia and Fancy Pants, though I still had attention and manners enough to bid my fellow members farewell as they did so to me. Fancy Pants approached me.

“What a stroke of luck running into you again, old fellow!” he said, jovially. “Seems we’re to be fellow councilstallions, eh?”

“Heh, yeah, I suppose so,” I said. “It’s good to see you again, too.”

We exchanged a friendly hand/hoofshake. And then, as a sudden recollection struck me, one that had come to me upon recognizing Fancy Pants, I asked,

“Do you know a Miss Spoiled Rich of Ponyville, Fancy Pants?”

“Ahh, yes,” said Fancy Pants. “She’s a remarkable woman: plenty of connections, tons of money, successful husband, endearing daughter. She’s a mare you’d be sorry not to know, my boy.”

“Er, right.”

I didn’t think I ought to contradict Fancy Pants on this. He was probably more acquainted with Mrs. Rich’s better nature, so it wasn’t my place to tell him my thoughts on her.

“Well, as much as I’d love to stay and chat, David, I’m afraid I have another appointment to attend to,” said Fancy Pants, as he magically lifted up a gold watch from his suit pocket and glanced at it.

“Oh, of course,” I said. “I won’t keep you. Have a good day.”

“And you, my fine fellow,” said Fancy Pants. “Minister, Your Highness.”

He bowed to the last two named, then left the council room, leaving me alone with Ironmane and Celestia. At last, I approached them, while I tried to find the proper words this circumstance merited. It also didn’t help that both were looking right at me, making me feel quite awkward.

“Minister, I...I hardly know what to say. Congratulations!”

“Thank you, David,” said Ironmane. “The idea first formed itself when I visited the Empire for the first time, and when I brought my wife on vacation to it, the rest was history. Everything has been properly arranged, thanks to Their Highnesses.”

Celestia nodded with a smile.

“Does this mean you won’t be delivering my stipend in person anymore?” I asked, more regretfully than hopefully.

Ironmane smirked.

“What’s this?” he asked. “You don’t mean to say you miss me intruding upon your mornings, do you? I would think my letters and homework were already bad enough.”

Flummoxed, I was about to protest, but he stayed me with a hoof.

“I was only joking,” he said. “Unfortunately, David, I don’t think the commute this time would be quite as easy to manage every week. I realize the guards may have proved tiresome with their lack of sociability, but I have already made arrangements for a subordinate of mine to deliver your dues in my place. You’ll meet him next Sunday, and I have faith you two will get along quite well.”

“I certainly hope so, sir,” I said, smiling, then added, soberly, “I know, like you said, this isn’t goodbye from the council for you, but I do want you to know that I’m grateful to you for what you’ve done for me, in spite of any instances I may have given you a hard time. I know I can’t have made your job any easier.”

Ironmane chuckled, his face softening slightly.

“I didn’t help matters either, David, believe me. It’s part of my duties to ensure that any creatures not native to Equestria are in no position to do harm to the crowns, and perhaps I was a touch overzealous on that score with regards to you. However, you’ve shown me that you are a kind-hearted, trustworthy young man, eager to assist where you can, a far cry from what I’d come to believe the human race to be like. I only ask that you continue to do your part for the council, and never lose that spirit of yours.”

He held out his hoof. As I took it in my hand, I was surprised to find that I was feeling choked up. My throat felt constricted, and my eyes started feeling wet. I tried my best to keep them back, and croaked out, ‘Thank you, sir’, as I shook his hoof firmly.

And with that, and a bow to Celestia, he took his leave, his cape billowing behind him. Now only Celestia remained with me, as she looked at me with a kind, almost sad expression, while the feeling in my throat and eyes still lingered. She looked as if she wanted to say something, but didn’t. Instead, she rested her hoof on my shoulder. In that gesture, it felt like she was saying she knew what I was feeling, and that everything was going to be all right. After all, wasn’t she the one who was losing the most by having Ironmane leave Canterlot? He’d been a devoted member of her cabinet for years, and now he was leaving.

My throat loosened, though my eyes still stung a bit. I looked up into Celestia’s, and, placing my hand on her hoof, gave her a grateful smile. She smiled back, and the two of us left the council room together, the princess to return to her royal duties, and I to return to the carriage, and the slow ride back home.


***


The bombshells dropped at that meeting kept my mind preoccupied on the way home, and even after returning to my house, I still felt lost in bewildered thought. Ironmane was leaving Canterlot to live in the Crystal Empire, and somepony else would be representing Canterlot in his place. I’d grown so used to how things were that to see them change so suddenly was staggering. I supposed I’d just have to wait and see what the future would look like now that this was happening.

As the sun began to set, I remembered, with a jolt, that it was the last day of winter, and tomorrow was Winter Wrap Up! With more haste than was probably necessary (Twilight’s instructions had made me rather paranoid), I got my clothes for tomorrow ready, including my new vest, and set an alarm for 5:30 in the morning. I winced as I did this, but there was nothing else for it. If I wanted to help out Winter Wrap Up, I’d have to do things right. I could only hope Moonlight got enough sleep tonight, with this story project of hers keeping her occupied.

At last, at long last, right before bed that night, I approached my bathroom scale. I looked at it as though it was a very bitter acquaintance.

“All right, scale,” I said. “Your brethren and I have never been on very friendly terms in the past, but I’ve been sticking to this diet as darn well as I can, so please give me an answer I’ll like.”

I took a deep breath, let it out, closed my eyes, and stepped on. A few seconds later, I opened them, and looked down.

I stared, mouth hanging open.

203 pounds.

203.

I’d started at 215.

I’d lost 12 pounds!

I beat my weight goal, and even went over!

“WHOO-HOO!!” I crowed, my voice re-echoing around the bathroom as I danced about. “I did it! Man, wait until Lyra and Bon Bon hear about this!”

This bit of great news had the effect I’d needed, of driving all thoughts about Ironmane and his announcements out of my head for the time being, and replacing it with thoughts of how great tomorrow was going to be, when I told my friends of my achievement, and we all pitched in to welcome spring. Filled with these cheerful thoughts, I settled down to bed and fell asleep.

Thursday, February 28

> Winter Wrap Up
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was still dark out by the time my alarm woke me up. Groaning, I turned it off and got out of bed, yawning heavily. Getting up for early morning workouts was taxing enough, but this was just plain torture. However, it was necessary for me to play my own part for Winter Wrap Up, so complaining about it wasn’t going to do me any good. Resisting a mighty urge to sit back down and just rest my eyes for a few more minutes, I shuffled off to get ready.

By the time I stepped out, having put my vest on over my jacket, the sky was already beginning to lighten. I had just closed and locked my door when I heard sounds nearby. I stiffened. In the silence and darkness of the early morning, my sense of paranoia was triggered, just like when I thought I saw a figure fly away into the night after my speech. Turning around, however, I beheld Moonlight, looking a little tired, but still smiling. She, too, was wearing her new vest.

“Hi, Dave,” she said.

“Good morning, Moonlight,” I said, happy and relieved to see her. “I haven't seen you in a while. How've you been?”

“Busy,” said Moonlight. “Between longer shifts at Sugarcube Corner, to make enough refreshments for Winter Wrap Up, and my own pet project, I haven't had much time for anything else.”

“Aw, I'm sorry,” I said, sympathetically.

“No, no, it's ok,” said Moonlight. “I’m just glad to do my part. And how about you? What have you been up to?”

As we walked, I began filling her in on the more important highlights of that week. Moonlight, having seen a foal with a flyer for the amateur concert while at work, was both amused and delighted at the prospect of it, and said she couldn't wait to see it happen. She had also met Octavia when she came in for breakfast one day, and considered her a very polite, charming lady. When I came to the council meeting, Moonlight was surprised to hear about Ironmane leaving for the Crystal Empire. Granted, she knew little about him beyond what I had said, but she sympathized when I told her about my mixed feelings, going airborne to give me a gentle, reassuring hug, which I appreciated.

“And how did your diet do you?” she asked. “Did you meet your goal?”

I grinned at her.

“Yep, and even a little more. I lost 12 pounds in all.”

Moonlight gasped, then let out a happy squeal as she gripped my hands warmly.

“Congratulations! That’s wonderful!”

“Thanks,” I said. “I know it’s not much in the grand scheme of things, but I still feel a lot better.”

“Then that’s all that really matters,” said Moonlight, beaming.

Smiling, I gave her mane a friendly tousle, and we continued on towards town square. As we approached, not only was it getting brighter, but I could see more and more ponies going our way, all of them wearing vests. There were blue ones for the weather team, like mine and Moonlight’s, green for the agriculture team, and brown for the animal team. I could even see several of Ponyville’s foals, but none of them were wearing vests. I wondered what they did for Winter Wrap Up. The buzz of conversation was sometimes broken up by the occasional yawn, but everypony looked eager for what was to come.

“Dave! There you are! Hi, Moonlight!”

I turned around. Lyra was worming her way through the crowd toward us, Bon Bon right behind her. Lyra was wearing a brown vest, and Bon Bon a green one. At last, both were abreast of me, Moonlight opting to take to the air to give them room.

“Hello, Dave, Moonlight,” said Bon Bon, warmly. “How’ve you been?”

“Good,” said Moonlight.

“Pretty well,” I said, “and even better after last night. The results came in, Bon Bon: 12 pounds.”

“Oh, wonderful!” Bon Bon cried, joyfully. “Congratulations! You almost beat me, too: 13 pounds.”

“Wow, nice!” I said, impressed. 

“Good work, big guy,” said Lyra, punching my arm.

“Thanks,” I said. “How did you do, Lyra?”

“She exceeded my wildest expectations,” said Bon Bon, before Lyra could answer. “A whole 15 pounds, as she wouldn’t stop bragging about when we saw the results.”

“Whoa-ho-ho!” I cried, ruffling Lyra’s messy mane. “Way to go!”

Lyra grinned broadly. “Couldn’t believe it myself,” she said.

“You were certainly far less skeptical when you were dancing around the bathroom, singing ‘in your face, Bon Buns’,” said Bon Bon, dryly.

“No idea what you’re talking about,” said Lyra, innocently.

Bon Bon scoffed, then turned to me with a smile on her face.

“You and Lyra both did so well these past couple months,” she said. “I’m so proud of you two.”

“Thanks, Bon Bon,” I said, feeling warm inside.

“I’m proud of you too, Bonnie,” said Lyra, smiling in a rather cheeky way. “You really got back in the game after your little ‘pudding belly’ hiccup.”

Bon Bon’s cheeks flushed, but she bit back whatever retort she seemed longing to hurl at Lyra. Moonlight and Lyra both giggled, and I just rolled my eyes smilingly.

“So, you two are on separate teams?” Moonlight asked.

“Yeah,” said Lyra, before adding, in a tone of exaggerated melodrama, “It’s a crime, I tell you! Separating me from my Bonnie like this! I ought to take it up with the mayor! I’ll gladly switch over to the planting team! There’s no danger of me eating the crops up, I swear!”

“Oh, shush,” said Bon Bon, dryly. “It’s only for one day, you silly filly.”

“Starting from the crack of dawn,” Lyra moaned. “Today’s gonna feel like an eternity.”

Bon Bon just rolled her eyes, but I decided to shift aside so that the two mare-friends could walk side by side, at least. Both smiled at me by way of thanks, and on we went.

At last, we joined the crowd in front of town hall. Over the heads of the ponies, I could see Mayor Mare standing behind a lectern. Beside her stood Twilight, looking bright and alert. Her vest was the only one that stood out from everypony else’s: blue on the back, green on the front, and trimmed with brown at the collar and leg holes. Standing next to her was Spike, who looked like he was fighting hard to stay awake. He was also carrying a stack of clipboards in his arms, and each had a thick stack of papers clipped inside them. It didn’t look like a fun load to carry for the poor little guy.

When everypony was assembled, in a great mingled sea of blue, green, and brown, amidst the usual assortment of pastel pony coat colors, the mayor cleared her throat, and said,

“Good morning, everypony! I'm glad to see all of you awake. The time has come, once again, to say goodbye to winter, and welcome spring!”

The crowd broke out into loud applause, myself included.

“I realize we’ve had slight problems with staying on schedule in the past, but this year, I have full confidence we’ll bring in spring on time. Early, even, if we’re lucky. And now, without further ado, I turn you over to our official All-Team Organizer, Twilight Sparkle.”

Everyone broke out into applause again, as the mayor stepped aside and Twilight stepped forward.

“Thank you, Mayor, and good morning, everypony. Today’s going to be a busy one, so let’s not waste time. Captains, I’ve arranged a checklist of assignments and tasks for everypony on each of your teams. Please come forward to receive one from Spike. Quickly, now. Every second counts.”

Ponies shifted aside to make room for Applejack, Rainbow Dash, and Sparkler as they approached the lectern. All three were wearing, besides their vests, a color-coordinated armband around their hooves. One by one, they removed a clipboard from Spike’s arms. He looked immensely relieved for it.

“All right, then, everypony,” said Twilight, “let’s wrap up winter! Dismissed!”

With that, she stepped down, and the voices of the three captains rang out through the crowd from three separate corners.

“Plant team, hustle on over here!”

“Animal team, this way!”

“Weather team, right over here! Let’s move, everypony!”

The sea of ponies began to scatter, until members of each color began to converge in their own individual spots. I could see, among others, Lyra joining Fluttershy and Rarity at Sparkler’s huddle, Bon Bon, Berry Punch, Doc, and Zecora heading for Applejack, and Derpy already over by Rainbow Dash and several other pegasi. To my surprise and joy, Pinkie was part of the weather team, too, hopping up and down in excitement, as well as, to my even greater surprise, Vinyl Scratch. Both smiled broadly at the sight of Moonlight and me.

“Hey, Davie, Moonlight!” said Pinkie.

“Hi, Pinkie!” the two of us said, in unintentional unison.

Rainbow looked up to spot us.

“Hey, guys!” she said. “Glad you found yourselves a team!”

“I should’ve guessed you’d be captain of the Weather Division,” I said, genially.

“Heh, you know it,” said Rainbow.

“AJ in charge of crops is no surprise, either,” I said, “but I’m a little surprised to see Sparkler in charge of the Animal Division. I sorta figured Fluttershy would be heading it.”

“You’d think so, wouldn’t you?” asked Rainbow. “She just never volunteered as a leader, and between you and me, I don’t think she really wants that kind of attention.”

“Yeah, I see what you mean,” I said. “Then again, who am I to talk, when I’m the ambassador for both humans and Ponyville on the royal council?”

Some of the ponies, including Moonlight and Pinkie, giggled in token of this jab at myself.

“All righty, then,” said Rainbow, who was leafing through her clipboard’s contents. “let’s get down to business. Cloud Squad!”

Several of the pegasi stood at attention, wings snapping open. Among them were three ponies whose names I recalled as being Raindrops, Flitter, and Cloud Chaser.

“Let’s see some clear skies by the end of the day!” said Rainbow.

“Yes, ma’am!” they said in unison.

“Bird Squad!”

Another band of pegasi, including Derpy, Sassaflash, and one I think was named Blossomforth, stood at attention

“Make sure you all have your compasses with you, so that you keep south, and bring those birds safely home!”

She glanced rather sternly at Derpy when she said this, making her grin sheepishly.

“Yes, ma’am!” they chorused.

“Ice Squad!”

Pinkie and a group of other ponies sprang to attention, Pinkie even saluting. I noticed that all of them had ice skates hanging at their sides.

“You all know which lakes and ponds you’re all assigned to, so let’s see some clean-cut, easy-to-melt ice!”

“Yes, sir, ma’am, sir-ma’am!” said Pinkie.

“Snow Squad!”

Now Moonlight and I stood straight and alert, along with Vinyl.

“By the time the day’s over, I wanna see some snow-free rooftops and treetops, and not a single icicle on any tree branch!”

“Yes, ma’am!” I said, along with everypony else.

“Ok, everypony,” said Rainbow, “you all know what you gotta do, so let’s do it! Dismissed!”

With a great *whoosh* of many wings, the Cloud and Bird Squads took off. The force of so many ponies taking wing nearly knocked me off my feet.

“See you later, Davie, Moonlight!” said Pinkie, cheerily. “Let’s go, team!”

She and her fellow skaters dispersed, heading in the direction of Ponyville’s more rural areas, the ones with ponds, lakes, and other frozen bodies of water. That left me and Moonlight with Rainbow, Vinyl, and the rest of the Snow Squad.

“Got a real flair for authority there, Captain,” I said, honestly.

Rainbow grinned.

“Come a month or so, and it’s gonna be me doing all the ‘yes, ma’am’-ing,” she said. “I put in my application for the Wonderbolt Academy earlier this week, and I should hear back from them by then.”

“Oh, wow!” I said. “I’m sure you’ll get in, no problem.”

“Flatterer,” said Rainbow, punching my shoulder. “But thanks. I’ve gotta help out the Cloud Squad, so you guys get to it, all right? Vinyl, make sure these guys keep on task, got it?” 

Wait, Vinyl was in charge of us?

“You got it, R.D.,” said Vinyl, saluting.

“Good luck!”

And with that, Rainbow took off to join her fellow fliers. I turned to look at Vinyl.

“You’re in charge of clearing snow, Vinyl?” I asked.

“Yep,” said Vinyl, proudly. “My Wub-Meister can clean half a rooftop in one blast. Dash saw it happen once, so she put me on the Snow Squad.”

“I see,” I said, feeling both amusement and a slight twinge of apprehension.

“Ok, squaddies,” said Vinyl, putting on an air of authority. “To your posts!”

The group dispersed, heading to where a bunch of open wagons and snow shovels were stationed. That left me with Vinyl and Moonlight. Luckily, the former didn’t seem too perturbed that I didn’t move on with the others.

“Congrats, Vinyl,” I said, smiling. “Octavia told me about the two of you sharing a home now.”

“Thanks, dude,” she said, beaming. “Believe me, I was surprised when she first brought it up to me, but I’m really looking forward to it. Once spring’s here officially, I can move out of my old place and into our new one. Gonna be nice not having any neighbors complaining. So, who’s your friend?” she added, looking at Moonlight.

“Oh!” I said, in realization. “Right, I forgot to introduce you. Vinyl, this is Moonlight, my neighbor and a very good friend. Moonlight, this is Vinyl Scratch. She’s the owner of Club Scratch.”

“Hi,” said Moonlight, smiling sweetly. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Likewise,” said Vinyl. “Any friend of D-dude’s a friend of mine. Anyways, we’d better get cracking. Don’t want Twilight breathing down our necks.”

Remembering Twilight’s overzealous guidelines yet again, I agreed, and the three of us went to get our equipment without further delay.


***


Within 5 minutes, we were ready. I stood beneath a snow-covered rooftop, gripping the shafts of a large cart, while Moonlight hovered above it, a snow shovel held in her forelegs.

“Now, you're sure the cart’s directly below you?” I called up.

“Positive!” called Moonlight. “Ready?”

“Go ahead!”

There was a brief sound of scraping metal, a thump, and then the sound of something sliding down a slope. With a heavy thud that made my cart shudder, a mound of snow fell neatly into it, filling it about halfway. I looked from it up to the wide patch of clean rooftop, now free of snow.

That was it? That was all we had to do? Well, this might be easier than I thought. 

Moonlight beamed down at me, and I gave her a thumb’s up before moving the cart again. Another *thump*, another *thud*, and the cart was now completely full, even rising a bit higher than the edge, and the rooftop was fully devoid of snow. 

“Well, this is pretty easy,” I called up to Moonlight.

“I think so, too!” agreed Moonlight.

Then, although it was more of an effort to pull it now, I slowly wheeled the cart over to the designated snow drop-off point. This was where it was all to be collected, so that it could be melted down into water for the plants and grass. Smart and efficient, I’d say.

Just as my cart had been emptied, and I was about to join Moonlight at the next house, there was a loud, reverberating hum that made me jump. Looking around, I saw Vinyl standing at the foot of a house with a tall bass speaker standing beside her. A unicorn hitched to a cart stood below as the snow spilled into it, half the rooftop cleaned of snow, just as Vinyl had claimed. She had a big, satisfied grin on her face, but the cart pony looked very disgruntled. His ears were flattened, and his mane was windswept. Who could blame him, given his proximity to that Wub-Meister?

“I’m surprised it didn’t knock all the snow off at once,” said Moonlight, as I rejoined her. She, too, had been struck agog by what just happened.

“Me, too,” I said, “but she probably toned it down, so as not to take away any work from anypony else. Winter Wrap Up’s a community effort, after all.”

“That’s fair,” said Moonlight. “All right, then, you ready?”

“Fire away, partner.”

*scrape* *thump* *thud*

It wasn’t exactly rhythmic in itself, since each occurrence didn’t happen in quick succession, but there was a kind of satisfaction in hearing it. With each load of snow dumping into the cart, it was another step closer to bringing in spring. I still could hardly believe I was really doing this: taking part in physically ending one season to start the next. How was I ever to explain this back home? And yet, shoveling the driveway certainly seemed more arduous back home.

As the morning wore on, and my arms were beginning to grow tired from hauling the cart about, I slowly became conscious of something, although I wondered if it was really happening, or if it was just my imagination. It felt as though...but how do I even describe it? It was like a song was in the air, but no one was singing out loud. Moonlight wasn’t, at any rate. And yet, it seemed to be coming, softly but distinctly, from all around, spritely and lively. It felt as though it was part of the air itself. What could it be?

“EEE-YAII!”

I let out a yelp, as a sharp shock of coldness hit me right in the foot, from my ankle to my toes. Moonlight must have shoveled without making sure I was lined up properly, and some of the snow had spilled out and went right down into my boot. My foot was smarting from the icy chill, and my heart had nearly stopped from the suddenness.

“Oh, gosh!” said Moonlight, coming down and looking concerned. “Are you all right, Dave?”

“J-Just p-p-peachy,” I stammered, my teeth on edge. “M-My fault f-for not p-p-paying attention.”

“Oh, no,” said Moonlight, shaking her head in disagreement. “I should’ve made sure you were lined up properly. Sorry. I just got distracted. I could’ve sworn I heard something. It sounded like music.”

Huh? She heard it too? So was it really happening, or were we having a shared delusion?

“Anyways, we’d better get moving,” said Moonlight, shoveling up the snow that had spilled at my feet and tossing it into the wagon. “We don’t want Twilight to see us wasting time.”

“R-Right,” I said.

As I went to go dump off that load of snow, three thoughts battled for focus in my mind: the uncomfortable cold creeping around my foot, the fact that Moonlight thought she heard something too, and the idea of Twilight watching us from afar with laser-precise scrutiny.


***


As the day wore on, and we went further and further through Ponyville, I couldn’t help looking around at what everypony else was doing. We were getting more and more into the thick of activity, after all.

There were ponies doing something similar to what Moonlight and I were doing, except with the trees. Pegasi shook or bounced on boughs to send snow down into carts. Some were gently shaking or plucking off the icicles that hung from tree branches and under roofs, like farmers taking in their harvest. Others were up above, shifting clouds away to uncover more and more sky. I could actually feel the sun’s warmth beginning to come through.

There were ponies clearing away the snow on the ground with big, wheeled plows, while other ponies were planting seeds in the newly-uncovered soil. Among them, I noticed Caramel keeping close behind Noteworthy, sprinkling grass seeds in his wake. So that was what he’d meant when I’d talked to him earlier this week. I couldn’t even fathom how many seeds were needed to fully replant Ponyville’s greenery. Strangely, I could’ve sworn I heard, echoing over the hills from the direction of Ponyville Lake, Pinkie’s voice shouting, ‘Seventeen thousand nine hundred and thirty-...four!’”

There were ponies at the entrances to animal burrows and dens, ringing bells to awaken the animals inside, standing by with baskets of food. It warmed my heart to see Fluttershy’s smiling face as she watched her furry friends emerge into the open. I was shocked, however, at the sight of an enormous brown bear lumbering into view, but I soon observed that, with Fluttershy at least, he was as tame as a house dog. Several snakes also slithered by in the open, sending a thrill of terror through me, but thankfully, none of them noticed me. I also thought I saw Rainbow Dash come down and nuzzle a tortoise that had emerged, which must have been her pet, Tank.

There were ponies at the lakes and ponds, skimming across them on their ice skates and cutting long lines into the ice. Pinkie was easily identifiable, not just from her bright colors, but with the skill and grace with which she skated, just like when I’d first seen her at it. I was so intent on watching her that I very nearly ended up with another boot-full of snow, and I snapped back to attention before it was too late.

On the whole, everypony seemed to be working not only to their personal capacities, but with an optimism and energy that was admirable to behold. I’d only been part of a few community-wide projects back home, but I’d never experienced any with this amount of good feeling. It felt like the warmth in everypony’s hearts could’ve sufficed well enough to melt away all the snow, which, ironically enough, would’ve rendered Winter Wrap Up somewhat moot. Well, I guess it wouldn’t be the first time.


***


We’d cleared off a good number of rooftops by the time lunch rolled around, and I was more than happy to take a break. Tables had been set up in the town square, with one being devoted solely to refreshments. Everypony was sitting with friends regardless of teams or squads, and it was deafeningly noisy. Twilight was with the Mayor and Spike, and was engaged in what looked like a serious discussion with the former while the latter was stuffing his face with donuts. 

Moonlight and I joined Pinkie, who was sitting with Minuette and two other ponies whom I was introduced to as her fellow Canterlot friends, Lemon Hearts and Twinkleshine, all three being members of the Animal Division. Just like with Minuette, Ponyville was practically a second home for her two friends, as they were always coming back and forth to and from Canterlot to visit Lyra. I couldn’t even imagine such a constant string of commuting, though it was probably easier than I was imagining. 

Lunch itself consisted of hot soup, sandwiches, fresh-baked pastries from Sugarcube Corner, and hot cocoa. So this was what Moonlight was talking about when she said they’d been busy baking for Winter Wrap Up. To prepare food for everypony working must have taken a lot of time and effort. I had to give props to her, Pinkie, and the Cakes for managing such a feat.

As Twilight had said, we were only given 20 minutes for lunch, and I was lucky to finish with all the conversation going on. When it was over, we got back to work, but I was feeling a lot better, and more energized after a good meal. Moonlight seemed to feel the same way, and the two of us went back to it with gusto. Now, more than ever, I felt like I could hear that song I’d imagined hearing earlier. It seemed stronger than before, and felt as if it were actually inside me, pulsing through my veins. I even tried humming to it as I worked, though I couldn’t exactly pin down a solid tune to it.

Some time around 3 or so, the air was full of a very different sound: the flapping of wings and the chirping and peeping of innumerable birds. I looked up to see a flock, no, a cloud, no, a positive storm of birds flying in. I’d seen flocks of crows or even wild parakeets that were pretty big, but they were nothing compared to this. I felt like I needed an umbrella, in case any of them took it into their heads to have a little, *ahem*, ‘target practice’. Eat your heart out, Alfred Hitchcock. 

The pegasi Dash had sent to retrieve the southern birds, Derpy among them, were leading them like captains leading a military charge. Moonlight and I waved up, and Derpy, spying us, waved back merrily. She and the others soon began allowing the birds to disperse, and they made for the trees, each now adorned with one of the nests Rarity and her team had made. They really were something: smooth and immaculate, decorated with colorful bits of ribbon.

The afternoon was slowly creeping away into early evening as Moonlight and I made our way to our own little corner of Ponyville to clear our roofs. I was slightly worried that if when we finally made it to my and Moonlight’s neck of the woods, I’d have to troop all the way back to the snow depository, and then back again. That would’ve been more than I could’ve borne. However, to my relief, a depository was stationed over there as well, between my house and the Hooves’. I was glad Twilight wasn’t so cruel as to make us have to walk long distances in both directions. Besides, it didn’t seem right when she was such an efficiency nut.

The snow had yet to be cleared out here, so we seemed to be the first on the scene. Nevertheless, the clearing job was gradually coming our way, so we had to be quick if we didn’t want to be in anypony’s way. As we cleaned off our own rooftops, I could still hear Vinyl’s Wub-Meister reverberating even from this distance.

“You know, Moonlight,” I said, “back where I used to live, it was common to shovel our driveways and sidewalks in snowy weather. We had to, if we wanted to get anywhere. Never, in all my days, did I dream there was an actual holiday or public event based around that concept.”

“Oh, that’s right,” said Moonlight. “The weather and seasons just happen by themselves where you come from, right? That’s still a little creepy. No offense.”

“None taken. That’s not to say they don’t give us any work to do. We still mow lawns, rake leaves, shovel snow, all that stuff. Well, I mean, I never really did any of that, besides shoveling snow. I was never good with anything outdoorsy.”

“Well, look at you now, Mr. Indoorsy,” said Moonlight, giggling. “Clearing away everypony else’s snow along with your own, like a grown pony.”

I smirked up at her.

“The only reason I’m not tickling you for that is because you’re out of reach,” I quipped back, and she stuck her tongue out at me playfully.

When the last of the snow disappeared from that collection of rooftops, I took a survey of our surroundings. Not a speck of snow remained, and the plow teams would soon be here to do the same to the ground. However, as I looked back towards Ponyville, I noticed something. From where I stood, I couldn’t see one patch of white on any roof I could see, not even the town hall. I just stood there, staring.

“Moonlight, come here,” I called to my pegasus pal.

“Huh? What is it?” asked Moonlight, joining me at my side.

“Look,” I said, pointing out, “I don’t know if it’s just me, but I don’t see anymore snowy rooftops. I think our team got them all.”

“You think so? Let me see.”

Moonlight hovered higher into the air, putting her hoof over her brow and squinting her eyes. After about 10 seconds of looking, she said, amazed,

“Wow, you’re right! It looks completely clean from here! I think we actually got them all!”

“You bet your flanks we did!”

Both of us jumped and looked around. Vinyl was coming toward us, levitating a checklist beside her and beaming.

“I just made my rounds and checked off every other house in Ponyville as being ‘snow-free’, and you guys just finished off the last ones! Nice work!”

“Oh!” said Moonlight and I, together, in surprise.

“So, what happens next?” I asked.

“We report back to Rainbow Dash, then let Twilight know,” said Vinyl. “Things are starting to wind down, so captains and squad leaders will all be handing in their completed checklists.”

“Is there anything else we should do?” asked Moonlight. “Like, helping out another team or something?”

“Nah,” said Vinyl. “All that’s really left is watering the soil with the melted snow water, and there’s a team for that already. We have a big group dinner tonight, like we did for lunch, and everypony whose tasks are finished are free for the rest of the night. Lucky us, huh?”

“Heh, yeah, I guess so,” I said.

“Okey doke, then, roof squaddies,” said Vinyl, “let’s get moving.” 

With that, and with my empty cart rattling behind me, the three of us started wending our way back toward the main part of Ponyville.

“By the way, Vinyl,” I said, “while you were out working, could you hear something in the air?”

“Hmm?”

“Well, not just hear, but feel, too, you know?”

“Yeah, I thought I could hear and feel it, too,” said Moonlight. “It was like the air itself was making a song.”

“Oh, that?” said Vinyl, casually. “I left my portable turntable on, and it was playing one of my new remixes. It’s got a slow start to it that eases you in before kicking into high gear.”

“Oh,” said Moonlight and I together, bemused.

That certainly hadn’t been the answer I was expecting. Upon reflection, though, I ought to have been thankful that her turntable hadn’t been plugged into her Wub-Meister when it ‘kicked into high gear’.


***


It didn’t take long to find Rainbow Dash once we got back into the hustle and bustle. She’d spent a long day up in the sky, and she was exhausted, but she was also glad to hear of our accomplishment. 

“Record time, too!” she said, looking at her checklist. “At least, that’s according to Twilight and her egghead facts. Nice work, guys!”

“All in a day’s work, chief,” said Vinyl, proudly. “My Wub-Meister was aching for a proper workout, and boy, did I give it one.”

“You can say that again,” said Octavia, wearily, as she was within earshot.

The sun was very low in the sky now, and the street lamps were already lit, when we found Twilight in front of town hall, busy perusing a stack of papers, and writing something down on another sheet. Spike was sitting between her and another stack, still fighting hard to stay awake. It seemed he was starting to crash from that donut binge.

“Hey, Twi!” said Rainbow

Spike started at the loudness of her voice, but Twilight didn’t even flinch. She merely looked up.

“Yes, Rainbow?” she asked.

“The Snow Squad’s all wrapped up,” said Rainbow, handing over her clipboard and saluting. “Every rooftop and every tree are clean as whistles.”

Twilight’s eyes roved over the clipboard, flipping from page to page. She then looked about her at the snow-free roofs immediately nearby. At last, she looked back up at us, smiling.

“Excellent!” she said. “I expected no less than quick and accurate results from you and your team, Rainbow.”

“Naturally,” said Rainbow, puffing her chest out a bit, an act mirrored by Vinyl.

“And well done to both of you,” said Twilight, turning to me and Moonlight. “You two should be proud of all your hard work today, especially since it’s your first Winter Wrap Up in Ponyville. Thank you so much for your help.”

“Heh, it was nothing, Twi,” I said, modestly.

“Happy to help, Twilight!” said Moonlight, cheerily.

“Well, then, you can go pack up your equipment, then meet back here. It’ll be dinner in about 15 minutes. After that, you and the others who are all finished can head on home and get a good night’s rest. Everypony’s going to meet up again at 9 o’clock sharp tomorrow, when we all welcome the first official day of spring!”

Happy, I exchanged high-fives with Rainbow and Vinyl, and was about to give one to Moonlight, but she hugged me instead, so I reciprocated in kind. Before leaving, though, I gave Spike a pat on the shoulder.

“Hang in there, little buddy,” I said.

Spike merely heaved a huge yawn in response, and Twilight rolled her eyes.


***


Dinner passed much the same as lunch, though with a little more variety in dishes. Everypony was still gabbing away excitedly, flushed with their accomplishments, but I couldn’t help noticing that some of the energy from work was wearing off. Everypony’s speech was punctuated by yawns, and coffee had been added to the refreshments, along with the hot cocoa. It was my second cup of the day, the first being when we were clearing off Sugarcube Corner. It had taken a lot longer than most of the other houses, and the Cakes must’ve felt it an appropriate reward for getting it all cleaned up. 

In a way, it was kind of enchanting, sitting outside at night with good friends, under the glow of the lamps and the darkening sky. The air was still nice and cool, but by tomorrow, it was going to warm up nicely. I was actually looking forward to not having to wear a winter coat or boots anymore. Plus, now that my diet was over, I had some long overdue visits to pay to both Sugarcube Corner and Bon Bon’s Bonbons.

When everypony started finishing up, and were sitting back in their chairs with full and contented stomachs, Mayor Mare called our attention to her and Twilight.

“Attention, everypony!” she called. “I want to thank all of you that have done your parts by now. This is one of the quickest Winter Wrap Ups I’ve seen yet, and I couldn’t be prouder! It really shows that town spirit I like to see in each and every one of you, so thank you ever so much!”

This was met with enthusiastic applause from all of us.

“Now, then,” she went on, “the nighttime teams should begin preparations, while those of you who have completed your tasks are dismissed. Get a good night’s rest, for we’ll meet up at the hill south of Ponyville at 9 AM sharp to officially declare the start of spring. Good night, and again, thank you.”

Another burst of applause from all around, and a good majority of the ponies, myself included, stood up. However, I felt awkward just leaving without doing anything else to help. The least I could do was clean up. However, before I could, I felt a tug at my elbow, and looked down to see Pinkie.

“It’s fine, Davie,” she said. “You’ve done all you had to do today. Now we leave the rest to the ponies who still have work to do. It’s how it’s always done, so don’t worry about it.”

She gave me an encouraging smile, and I felt a little less guilty now. If what she said was true, and this was how it always was, I wasn’t in any position to argue.

“All right, Pinkie,” I said. “Thanks.” 

“We’ll see you tomorrow, all right?” said Moonlight, smiling.

“You bet you will!” said Pinkie, in a more eager tone. “After our spring welcoming tomorrow, I’m throwing my annual ‘Spring Has Sprung’ Party, and you’re both invited!”

“Oh, really?” I asked, intrigued. “It’s been a little while since I’ve been to one of your parties, so I’m definitely looking forward to that now.”

“Me too!” said Moonlight.

Pinkie smiled widely, hugged both me and Moonlight good night, then bounced off with the others. The two of us joined the crowd ourselves, heading back towards home. Ponies began to branch off this way and that as they came to their own houses. We waved goodbye to many of our friends as we parted, some still looking peppy, others looking like they were longing for their beds. Soon, it was just me, Moonlight, and the Hooves family. Dinky had fallen asleep on Sparkler’s back, Scootaloo on Derpy’s.

“What have they been busy with?” Moonlight asked. “Did Scootaloo go with you to find the southern birds?”

“Oh, no, no,” said Derpy. “That’s much too far for a little foal to fly, but believe me, she wanted to. It was all I could do to keep her from following me, the little scamp. No, she and Dinky both helped Sparkler wake up the animals.”

“How about Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle?” I asked.

“Sweetie Belle helped Rarity with her nest making,” said Sparkler, “and Apple Bloom was on seed duty. She’s got sharp eyes for a filly, so Applejack trusted her to make sure no seeds went to waste, and that they all got planted.”

“Oh, that’s neat,” I said. “Nice to see that even Ponyville’s foals get into the spirit of the event.”

“Every little bit of effort counts, wherever it comes from,” said Derpy, smiling.

Finally, we came within sight of our own houses. It was so odd, seeing the entire scape bare of snow after 3 months, even the ground. Moonlight and I bid the Hooves’ good night, then I turned to her.

“Good night, partner,” I said, smiling. “Thanks for your help today.”

“Thank you, partner,” she said, smiling back, “and good night.”

She gave me a warm nuzzle, and I gently tousled her mane in return. After that, we separated, making for our own houses. My muscles were sore, and I was fighting hard to keep my eyes open. All I could think about now was my warm, cozy bed, and the thought of what tomorrow was going to bring, because tomorrow, spring would be here.

Friday, March 1

> Spring Has Sprung
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

I awoke to the sound of birds singing outside, as well as a bright ray of sunlight streaming in. Groaning, I covered my head with my blanket. The sun hadn’t been this strong all winter, nor had the birds been so loud.

Wait a minute.

It wasn’t winter anymore.

It was-

I jumped up from my bed, threw open the curtains, and looked out upon a wonderful sight.

Where there had been endless expanses of snow, then dull, bare soil, there were now rolling green stretches of grass as far as I could see, sprinkled here and there with flowers. The sky was a serene shade of cerulean, dotted here and there with cottony clouds, while the sun shone down bright and clear. A butterfly flitted past, and I even thought I saw a wild rabbit hop by.

I opened the window, and took a deep sniff of the warm, grassy air, and let it out in a contented sigh. Now that the window was open, I could hear the birds singing more clearly. It wasn’t just random tweeting, either. They were all in unanimous harmony. Come to think of it, I vaguely recalled Fluttershy saying something about them having a song to sing when spring returned. This must’ve been it, and it sounded beautiful.

And then, I remembered. We were all supposed to meet up at 9 to officially welcome spring. I checked my watch, and saw that it was only just 8. Still, under the right circumstances of procrastination, an hour can easily slip away, so I therefore bustled off to get ready.


***


It looked like I was among the last to arrive, as the crowd gathered at the hill overlooking Ponyville was quite huge, and one or two stragglers were coming at the same time as I was. I was still reveling in the beauty of the new season, marvelling at everything around me. Perhaps it was partly due to knowing that all of this, all of it was the product of everypony’s hard work. That something so wonderful, so breathtaking could have been accomplished from a single day’s work was more than I could put into words.

I at last joined the crowd, not minding being at the back, since I wasn’t blocking anyone else’s view. Mayor Mare and Twilight were at the very front, underneath a willow tree that served as the sole landmark of the hill. Upon its branches were numerous birds, all of them in united song. I looked around and spotted Fluttershy, who was smiling from ear to ear.

A happy sigh beside me made me look around. Moonlight was hovering there, looking around at the springtime scenery around us with a glowing smile on her face, her forehooves curled in front of her chest in a very adorable way.

“Isn’t it beautiful, Dave?” she asked.

“It’s quite a sight, definitely,” I said, smiling at her.

“I can’t remember a springtime that looked quite like this,” she said. “I mean, I have seen a few wrap-ups up close, but those were all just a few unicorns casting a bunch of heating spells.”

“Oh, is that right?” I asked.

“Davie! Moonlight!”

I turned around. Pinkie had hopped over, beaming.

“Hi, Pinkie,” I said.

“Good morning, Pinkie,” said Moonlight.

“I hope you guys are ready,” said Pinkie. “Once Twilight and Mayor Mare officially declare spring sprung, it’s party time!”

“I take it this is a yearly event too?” I asked.

“Absotutely-lutely!” said Pinkie. “It’s one of my rules to never throw the same party twice, but holidays and special events are always an exception, like my New Year’s party! Of course, I don’t throw the exact same New Year’s party every year, cuz you’d need a time machine for that, and Doc always says-”

She was talking over a mile a minute at this rate before the mayor cleared her throat in a preparatory way, and all of us turned our attention to her and Twilight, Pinkie’s mouth snapping shut instantly. Fluttershy hastily held up one wing, and the birds fell silent, like a radio being switched off.

“Good morning, everypony,” said the mayor. “Allow me to offer my deepest thanks and heartiest congratulations for another successful Winter Wrap Up! Thanks to your efforts, spring has arrived on time, and it certainly would not have done so without all of you, and without the aid of our All-Team Organizer, Twilight Sparkle.”

This was met with wild applause. Twilight smiled broadly, drawing herself up a little.

“Thank you, Mayor,” she said, “and thank you, everypony. This most certainly would not have been possible without all of you. Seeing such unity within this community warms my heart to its core.”

A few ‘aww’s met this pronouncement. That made me feel a little warm inside too.

“And so, without further ado,” said the mayor, “I hereby declare winter officially wrapped up!”

Even louder and more enthusiastic applause met this. Fluttershy gestured to her bird friends again, and their singing was started anew, louder than before. Pinkie, in her enthusiasm, actually grabbed up a bunch of flowers and tossed them into the air like confetti, where they danced about on the breeze before falling back to earth.

“All righty, everypony!” she called, turning all eyes on her. “You know what this means! Spring Has Sprung Party! Follow me!”

She bounced off towards Ponyville, the whole crowd following in her wake like a stampede of excited cattle. I was momentarily knocked off balance by the thunderous ground-shaking caused by so many equines moving at once, but Moonlight caught me before I fell over.

“Come on!” she said, giggling. “Let’s go! Everypony’s already a mile ahead!”

Chuckling along with her, I regained my footing and followed after her and the crowd.


***


Pinkie’s Spring Has Sprung Party was set up in a meadow. Everything from refreshment tables (one of them bearing a punch bowl sitting on a spring) to games to a dance floor was set up in a wide expanse of green, and all of it was ringed by innumerable flowers. I couldn’t help wondering if Pinkie had planned for the grass and flowers to be planted like this in preparation for the party. It wouldn’t have surprised me.

Speaking of Pinkie, after Moonlight and I separated so we could both mingle, I found her already making the most elaborate balloon shapes and animals for Ponyville’s foals. I could see a whole menagerie of animals, and even vehicles, like a locomotive. She had just finished what looked like a moose when she spotted me.

“There you are, Davie!”

“Hi, Dave!” chorused the fillies and colts, though I’m sure I heard a couple ‘Mr.’ Dave’s among those I was less familiar with.

“Hi, kids,” I said, smiling. “Did I miss anything, Pinkie?”

“Not too much. Berry’s just giving the adults the grand uncorking of her Springtime Swig.”

She pointed over to my juice-maker friend, who was indeed pouring out glasses of her new concoction for some ponies, while others were already tasting it with the air of seasoned connoisseurs.

“And I’m working my balloon magic!” Pinkie went on. “Any requests?”

I pondered for a moment or two, trying to think of an appropriate challenge, though not impossible. Then, I asked,

“How about an elephant?”

“No problem! Watch!”

She blew up some gray and white balloons, began twisting them together at lightning speed, and within seconds, held up a perfect balloon elephant, with ears, a trunk, and even tusks. The foals ‘Ooh’-ed and ‘Ahh’-ed.

“Spiffy,” I said, impressed.

“Thanks!” said Pinkie, grinning toothily, adding it to the collection she’d begun. “But you don't have to hang around me all day, Davie! Enjoy yourself!”

“Thanks, Pinkie. I intend to do just that,”

A sweet giggle caught my attention as Pinkie went back to her balloon work. Fluttershy was sitting in the flowers with her animal friends. They all appeared to be those who had been hibernating all winter, including that bear I saw yesterday. Some were scampering around her, while others were playing with her mane and tail. I watched as a pair of squirrels went up to her with a crown of daisies clutched between them in their tiny paws. Fluttershy bowed her head and allowed them to place the ring on it. Angel, who was sitting on her back, stood on his hind paws and adjusted it slightly, as though to make the effect perfect.

As I slowly approached, the bear caught sight of me, and I pulled to an abrupt stop, feeling nervous. Fluttershy looked up.

“Hello, Dave!” she said, beaming. “How are you?”

“Pretty well, Fluttershy,” I said. “Who, uh, who’s your bear friend?”

“Hm? Oh! Of course, you two haven’t met yet! Dave, this is Harry. Harry, Dave.”

Quicker than I would’ve liked, the bear shuffled over to me until his long muzzle was inches from my face, sniffing at me inquisitively. I kept still as a statue, praying that Fluttershy had somehow conveyed to him that she had a friend who was a human, and also that she’d be quick to intervene if he didn’t happen to take to me. Eventually, however, he stopped, drew himself up, and then, his muzzle curving into a big smile, opened his forelegs wide and scooped me into a literal bear hug faster than I could react to. I let out a yell that I couldn’t hold back, struggling to free myself, but Harry just held on the tighter. I felt my bones would surely be squeezed into pulp! 

Eventually, however, when it became clear that I wasn’t about to die, my screaming and flailing subsided. It might also be that Fluttershy was comfortingly patting me on the head, as though she’d anticipated this from me. At last, Harry released me, and gave me a heavy pat on the head of his own with his big paw.

“Aww, see? He likes you,” said Fluttershy, warmly.

“Heh, yeah, lucky me,” I said, weakly, rubbing my arm.

Unseen by Fluttershy, Angel blew a raspberry at me.

(Meanwhile, he and I still don’t see eye to eye.)

“Say, Fluttershy,” I said, a sudden thought occurring to me, “do you have any groundhog friends?”

“Of course!” said Fluttershy. “Pete, Rebecca, and little Dinah! They are just the sweetest, Dave! Why do you ask?”

“Well, kind of a random fact,” I said, “but I was only just reminded. Back where I come from, there’s been a long-standing tradition that a groundhog seeing his shadow or not was what dictated how long winter would last. On one day in February, we watch for him to emerge from his burrow. If he sees his shadow, there’ll be 6 more weeks of winter. If not, spring is right around the corner.”

“Really?” asked Fluttershy, looking amazed. “Goodness, I had no idea groundhogs were so revered in your world, if humans trust them to say when spring’s coming!”

“Err, I guess that’s one way to put it,” I said, delicately. “Anyways, I don’t want to keep you from your hibernation friends. You all have fun.”

“Oh, it was no bother, Dave, really,” said Fluttershy, kindly. “I’ll see you later.”

I ambled off, leaving her to her furry friends, and looked around at everypony else enjoying themselves. 

Berry was still giving out her ‘Springtime Swig’ to her tasters, her cheeks already a bit flushed, and a silly grin on her face. Bon Bon and Golden Harvest were at the refreshment tables, munching on treats. Meanwhile, Lyra was literally stuffing her face with cookies, and Derpy loaded her plate with several kinds of muffins. Golden Harvest looked bemused by this, and Bon Bon looked pretty embarrassed. Rarity had hung up several silk banners embroidered with springtime flowers and butterflies, and she was proudly displaying them to intrigued ponies. Applejack and her family had set up apple bobbing tanks, where several ponies were already participating, including Rainbow Dash, but she quickly spit her apple out when she found a pair of dentures, claimed seconds after by Granny Smith, attached to it. Several pony couples, including Magnum and Pearl, Mr. and Mrs. Cake, Cranky and Matilda, and Caramel and Sassaflash were on the dance floor to the accompaniment of a lively (I want to say Celtic-style) tune provided by the same band I saw playing on Nightmare Night, including that violinist, Fiddlesticks. Other ponies were dancing by themselves, and I could see Twilight and Spike cutting a wild, enthusiastic rug, especially in the former’s case. 

The very air itself was definitely charged with something I could only describe as ‘fun’.

All of a sudden, there was a loud ‘Rawr!’, and something small grabbed me around the neck from behind, making me jump. For a split second, I thought it was Harry again, but from the sound of wings in my ears, and from the voice, I figured out that it was Scootaloo. She swung around so that she was facing me, grinning up at me.

“Gotcha!” she said, triumphantly.

“Practicing pouncing?” I asked, giving her mane a tousle. “Aiming for a hunting cutie mark?”

“Nah,” said Scootaloo, “Now you’re just being silly. We tried that months ago.”

(Should’ve figured.)

“Yahh!”

The next thing I knew, with a yell that sounded like it came from Dinky, I felt something latch onto my leg. Now, neither of them were very heavy, but a filly around my neck and one pouncing me on the leg knocked me off balance, and I toppled onto the grass. As I rolled over onto my back, groaning, my fellow Crusader climbed onto my torso, giggling at me, while Scootaloo hovered just above me. Beyond them, I could see Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle watching from a distance, munching on party snacks, as though spectating a sporting event. Seems they were all feeling silly today. 

“All right, you got me, you little stinkers,” I said, ruffling Dinky’s mane. “Between you and Harry, it’ll be a miracle if my poor bones stay intact after today.”

I said it in more of a jesting way than anything, though my body was feeling a bit sore by now. Dinky got off of me, and I sat up, brushing blades of grass out of my hair and off my shirt.

“Hi!” said Dinky, sweetly, as if she hadn’t just knocked me down.

“Hi,” I said, grinning. “What’s up?” 

“I really needed to tell you,” said Dinky, “that we talked with Miss Octavia earlier.”

“Oh?” I asked.

“Yeah!” said Scootaloo. “She said she’d be totally willing to help us with the concert! She’s friends with Vinyl Scratch, and she’s one of the best music makers in Ponyville! This is gonna be the best amateur concert ever!”

“Absolutely,” I said, beaming. “I actually asked Octavia myself if she’d be willing, and she said as soon as she and Vinyl are settled in their new place, we should be good to go.”

“Yay!” squealed Dinky and Scootaloo together, as did Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle, who were, after all, within earshot.

“That means we’ve really gotta get cracking,” said Scootaloo. “I still need to decide what I wanna perform.”

“And Sweetie Belle’s already looking for songs for all of us,” said Dinky, and I saw Sweetie Belle smile and nod eagerly.

“That’s great,” I said. “We’re gonna rock everypony’s socks off by the time we’re done! Err, if they were wearing socks, that is,” I added.

The Crusaders giggled.

“Well, see ya later, Dave!” said Scootaloo.

“Bye!” said Dinky.

“See ya!” I said.

The four fillies scampered off back into the hubbub of the party, talking excitedly. Suddenly, a loud exclamation hit my ears.

“Ow!”

“Hey! Watch it, you doofuses!”

“Sorry!”

“Sorry!”

I looked around at this quick succession of shouts. Diamond Tiara was yelling after Snips and Snails, who were galloping off. It looked like they’d barreled into them without warning and knocked Silver Spoon off balance. Consequently, her glasses were lying in the grass. Almost as if by instinct, I hurried over.

“You girls ok?” I asked, kneeling down.

“I’m fine,” said Diamond Tiara. “But those two idiots bumped Silver Spoon and knocked her glasses off! Why can’t they watch where they’re going?”

“They were just a little over-excited, maybe,” I said, shrugging. “It’s a Pinkie party, after all.”

Diamond Tiara scoffed. Silver Spoon, meanwhile, was still scrabbling around for her glasses. I’d wondered if they were for style or service, and it looked like the latter. I picked them up and handed them to her, as she blinked up at me.

“Here you go, Silver Spoon,” I said, kindly.

“Thanks,” she said, gratefully, fitting them back onto her nose. “You have no idea how bad my eyesight is without these.”

“Oh, trust me,” I said, pointing to my own glasses, “I’m blind as a bat without mine. Been like that ever since I was a kid. Still, I think you’ve got a good idea with those: if you’re going to help your eyes, you might as well put a little style into it.”

I punctuated this with a genial tap on her nose with a forefinger. She giggled, and even Diamond Tiara couldn’t help grinning.

“Thanks again, Mr. Dave,” said Silver Spoon, and the two of them trotted off, just as Moonlight came up to me, smiling.

“That was very sweet of you,” she said.

“Ah, well,” I said, humbly. “Just helping out a friend in need, that’s all.”

Moonlight nodded, then added,

“You’re pretty good with kids, you know.”

“You think so?” I asked. “Playing with them or babysitting, maybe, but I doubt I’m ready to actually have kids of my own.”

“Oh, don’t be so modest,” said Moonlight.

At that moment, the band broke into a new song.

“Partner up, everypony!” Pinkie’s voice called. “Dancing’s fun in itself, but it’s even more fun when you share it with somepony special!”

“Excuse me. May I have this dance?”

Both of us jumped and looked around. A young Earth pony stallion I hadn’t seen before was offering Moonlight his hoof with a polite smile on his face. He was around the same age as her, give or take a year or two, chocolate-brown with blackish-brown for his mane and tail. Moonlight looked surprised, then, blushing slightly, looked at me as though asking for assistance.

“Go ahead,” I said, smiling and nodding encouragingly.

Looking slightly reassured, Moonlight turned to the stranger and accepted his hoof.

“I’d be honored,” she said, rather shyly.

With that, she was whisked off onto the dance floor with her new partner. I waved, and cast my gaze around the party for a bit. Everypony else seemed to be partnering up, joining the couples who had danced together earlier. Among them, I could see Zecora with Screwball, just like at New Year’s, Big Mac with Cheerilee, and even Rarity had deigned to dance with Spike, who looked positively delighted. Heck, I could swear I also saw Dolly Tribune partnered with Papa Razzo, cutting a fine rug. Looking around for somepony still without a partner, I spied Twilight and hurried over.

“My lady,” I said, putting on a grand air and bowing before offering my hand, “will you do me the honor?”

Twilight, though surprised at first, beamed and put her hoof in my hand.

“Why, of course, my good sir,” she said, in the same tone. “I would be delighted.”

I helped her up onto her hind legs, and together, we joined the rest on the dance floor. I can easily say that what I or Twilight may have lacked in grace, we definitely made up for with enthusiasm, as well as sore toes and shins, but it was still a lot of fun.


***


At last, the party began to wind down, and Pinkie announced that it was time to wrap it up. Everypony therefore pitched in to help clean up, quite cheerfully at that, too. I supposed the Winter Wrap Up feeling still hadn’t worn off yet. In any case, between myself and so many ponies helping out, the meadow was cleaned up in next to no time.

“You know, I’m starting to wonder if I really should build a Reverse Party Cannon after all,” said Pinkie. “It’d make things easier, but it’d also take the fun out of everypony helping clean up.”

“Well, it’s still technically a good idea,” I said, tossing some stray streamers into a garbage bag. “Just save it for the days when nopony feels like cleaning up.”

Granted, I had no idea what Pinkie would have to do to make a workable ‘Reverse Party Cannon’ without just making it a big vacuum cleaner, but it was her idea, so I left that kind of thing to her. Besides, my answer seemed to satisfied her.

“Good thinking, Davie!” she said, rearing up and tapping my head affectionately. “That’s using your mind-reading noodle!”

(Still not letting that go, are we?)

“Hi!” said a familiar voice.

Turning around, I saw Moonlight, whom I hadn’t seen since she’d accepted a dance from that stranger.

“There you are,” I said. “Where’s your friend?”

“Already off home,” said Moonlight. “I thought I’d recognized him when I saw him. He’s a regular at Sugarcube Corner, and I think he works at Barnyard Bargains, because I sometimes see him with a vest and nametag on. He doesn’t say much, but he makes a point to say ‘hi’ to me every time. He’s always so shy about it, though.”

“Ohhh,” I said, grinning knowingly. “Looks like you’ve got yourself an admirer.”

“Oh, shut up!” retorted Moonlight, with a punch to my arm, though she couldn’t hide the giggle in her voice as she did.

“Relax,” I said, chuckling. “I was just kidding. I’ve been meaning to say, though,” I added, remembering suddenly, “that I think I know a new book we can read together.”

“Oh?” asked Moonlight, her interest peaked.

“Twilight recommended the ‘Shadow Spade’ mystery novels, and lent me one of them, so I figured we could give one of them a try.”

“Ooh!” said Moonlight, keenly. “I think Rarity mentioned something about that at the spa, how Twilight just got her interested in reading them. Yeah, I’d be down for that!”

“Great!” I said. “How does tomorrow night sound?”

“Perfect!” She let off a big yawn. “Anyways, I’m pretty tired. I’ll see you tomorrow, ok?”

“All righty.”

With a last smile, Moonlight flapped herself into a hover and flew off. Well, now all that was left for us was to see if these ‘Shadow Spade’ books would be just as engaging as Daring Do.

“Dave!”

I looked up. Bon Bon and Lyra were trotting up to me, the latter holding a bulging paper bag in her magic.

“Hey, girls,” I said. “What’s up?”

“This,” said Lyra, plopping the bag into my hands. 

“As a reward for sticking to the diet plan,” said Bon Bon, “we’ve put together a bag of our latest and most popular sweets for your enjoyment. You earned it.”

“Just like I did,” said Lyra, beaming.

“Wow,” I said, touched. “Thanks, girls. Don’t worry, I’ll take my time with it. It wouldn’t do to lose weight and then regain it so quickly.”

“Good to hear, Dave,” said Bon Bon, with a slight giggle. “I’ll make sure Lyra does the same.”

“And I’ll be keeping an eye on Bonnie, too,” said Lyra, sticking her tongue out.

Bon Bon shot her a filthy look, but Lyra looked innocently aloof, so Bon Bon just sighed and rolled her eyes. Tucking the bag carefully in the crook of one arm, I thanked them again and, as everypony was going their separate ways home, I did the same, waving and saying goodbye to as many ponies as I could. I was exhausted but happy, as I was sure everypony else was. I just hoped my clothes didn’t have permanent grass stains now, or Rarity wouldn’t be too pleased.

Saturday, March 2

> Crazy Sunday
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

It took me a little while after waking up the next day to remember that it was Sunday. Ironmane had said that a subordinate of his would be taking over delivering my dues. He also said it would hopefully be somepony I could actually engage with, rather than the overly-taciturn guards. I greatly welcomed that idea.

Sure enough, around the usual time, there came a knock at the door. I opened it up, and found myself staring, mouth slightly open.

I felt like I was seeing double. Two identical pegasus stallions were standing on the doorstep. They were both palominos, with gold-yellow coats and white-blonde manes and tails, cut and styled exactly the same between them. Both had cutie marks of clouds, though one, I noticed, was comprised of wispier ones, while the other’s were puffy-looking.

“Councilstallion David?” they inquired, in unison.

“Er, yes?” I said.

“I’m here,” said the puffy-cloud stallion, “to deliver your weekly wages.”

He took out the a bag of bits from his saddlebag and handed it over.

“Thanks,” I said, still slightly bemused.

“And I have some news from Minister Ironmane,” said the wispy-cloud stallion.

He reached into his saddlebag and took out a thick bundle of papers. I had to pocket my wages before I could take it in my hands without dropping it.

“What is it?” I asked.

“As the minister may have already told you,” said the wispy-cloud stallion, “establishing ties with dragons means a lot of new information about a previously-murky culture coming our way. In which case, Minister Ironmane wants to be sure his fellow delegates are on top of things. So, he would like you to write on the culture, habits, and characteristics of dragons from the information included in that packet, to be finished no later than 2 weeks from today. He’s even included the address to his new home when it’s time to mail it to him. Does that sound fair?”

“Er, yeah, that sounds fine to me,” I said. “He did warn me something like this was coming, and I’m pretty interested to learn more about dragons, especially after the opening of the Lounge.”

“Excellent,” said the puffy-cloud stallion, and both broke into identical grins. “And with that out of the way-”

“-Allow us to introduce ourselves,” said the wispy-cloud stallion. “The names are Cirrus-”

“-and Nimbus,” said the puffy-cloud stallion.

“We’re twins!” they said, in unison.

“Um, yeah, I noticed,” I said, noticing that their professionalism had practically vanished now.

“And we,” said Cirrus, “are your personally-assigned-”

“-wage and news deliverers for the Council,” finished Nimbus.

“At your service,” they said simultaneously, and bowed.

“Well, it’s very nice to meet you,” I said, “but I’m pretty sure Minister Ironmane only mentioned one pony.”

“Figured he would,” said Nimbus, turning to his twin. “Didn’t I say so, Nimbus?”

I blinked.

“Wait, but I thought you were Nimbus,” I said.

“Did I say that?” he asked, looking surprised.

“He’s not Nimbus,” said the other, looking equally surprised. “I am.”

“You might wanna get your hearing checked, buddy,” said the first, solemnly. “I think I know what I said.”

“Me too,” said the other.

“But I could’ve sworn-” I said, now very much bewildered.

“Only joking,” said the one I thought was Nimbus, grinning. “I’m Nimbus, and he’s Cirrus.”

“And I’m Cirrus, and he’s Nimbus.”

And the two broke out laughing. All I could do was stare at them for a moment or two, but, in spite of myself, I smiled.

“Ok, you got me,” I said. “That was kinda funny.”

“Ha!” laughed Cirrus. “I like this guy already, Nimbus.”

“Good sense of humor,” said Nimbus, nodding. “But Ironmane knows there’s two of us. We both work for him, after all.”

“Officially, I am here for your payment,” said Cirrus, “while-”

“I am here to deliver your assignments,” said Nimbus. “We traded on the way here.”

“And he allowed that?” I asked.

“Normally, Ironmane’s not the type of pony you ought to joke around with,” said Cirrus.

“But he trusts us, you see,” said Nimbus, “so he wouldn’t put up much of a fight about it.”

“Wow,” I said, impressed. “What did you guys do to make him trust you so much?”

“Sorry,” said Nimbus, “but that’s between us-”

“And Minister Ironmane,” said Cirrus. “Anyways, Councilstallion David, or do you prefer just David? Or Dave”

“Either’s fine for me,” I said, shrugging. “My friends call me Dave. You guys can, if you’d like.”

“He already considers us friends,” said Nimbus, winking grinningly at Cirrus.

“A good start right off the bat,” said Cirrus, grinning back.

“Anyways, Dave,” said Nimbus, taking a look about the exterior of my house, “nice house you’ve got here.”

“Quaint little neighborhood, too,” said Cirrus. “Away from the hustle and bustle.”

“Just you-”

“-and your neighbors.”

“Peace and quiet.”

“Home sweet home.”

“Know what I mean?” they asked together.

“Er, I think so,” I said.

I couldn’t help smiling. These two were extremely animated, and much better company than the guards. Though I didn’t doubt I’d miss Ironmane, these two certainly made a better first impression on me.

“Would you guys like to come in for a bit?” I asked.

“Love to,” said Cirrus.

“But we can’t,” said Nimbus.

“Lots to do.”

“Ponies to see.”

“Busy as bees.”

“Busy as beavers.”

“It never ends,” they said together, wearily.

“But it was very nice to meet you, Dave,” said Cirrus, sincerely, extending his hoof.

“And we hope we’ll be the best of chums,” said Nimbus, doing likewise.

“I definitely hope that as well,” I said, honestly, shaking both hooves.

“Well, until next time-”

“We bid you-”

“So long!” they said in unison.

And, spreading their wings in perfect sync, they took off. I watched them fly off into the clear blue sky, until they were out of sight. My head was still buzzing from what I’d just been through, but it was in a good way.

“I like those guys,” I said to myself as I went back inside. “I think we’ll get along just fine.”


***


After that bit of morning fun, I headed out to fulfill one of my post-diet promises: to visit Sugarcube Corner. As I walked, I once again couldn't help admiring the springtime scenery about me, and the smell of grass and flowers. However, I also heard the low drone of bees buzzing among said flowers, and I quickened my pace a bit. I wasn't overly fond of bees, having been stung by one when I was a kid, and not wishing for a repeat.

The smell of flowers didn't stop there, either. Daisy, Lily, and Rose had set up their flower stalls with all-new springtime blooms: pansies, tulips, daffodils and poppies. The myriad of aromas coming off of them was quite something, even for someone like me, whose knowledge of flowers was pretty basic. They had quite a number of customers at the moment, and I even observed some of the buyers snacking on their floral purchases as they left. Only natural, as they were ponies, after all.

A little further on, I could see a burly stallion hitched to an open wagon, the wagon itself filled to the brim with what looked like the entire stock of an electronics store. Vinyl and Octavia were keeping pace behind it, and the former was drawing quite a lot of attention by keeping up a running commentary.

“Nice and easy there, buddy. Anything drops, it’s coming out of your bill! You have any idea how hard it is to come by some of this stuff these days, especially here? The turntable itself’s custom-made, man! And the console! The volume goes to 11! You can’t buy ‘em like that anymore!”

“Honestly, Vinyl,” said Octavia, exasperatedly, “he’s a professional mover. He knows how to handle delicate furniture.”

“Just saying,” said Vinyl, shrugging.

Octavia rolled her eyes, and they moved on. It looked like they were still in the process of moving. I hadn’t reckoned on how much fragile equipment Vinyl had in her line of work. I just hoped she and Octavia really could share a home together, with their clashing ‘musical specialties’.

When I walked into Sugarcube Corner, Mrs. Cake was behind the counter. Pound and Pumpkin were playing with toys in a corner beside the counter, babbling happily. Mr. Cake, Pinkie, and Moonlight seemed to be busy elsewhere. Mrs. Cake looked up as I approached.

“Oh! Hello, dearie! How are you?” she greeted me, warmly.

“Pretty good, Mrs. Cake. How’s everything here?”

“Pretty well, thanks. What can we get you today?”

“Well, what’s the latest thing you’ve added to the menu?” I asked, eagerly.

“Ooh, I’m glad you asked,” said Mrs. Cake, keenly. “Carrot and I were telling Derpy about it the day we went to the Brimstone Lounge, and we only just released it: our Lemon Muffin Surprise!”

Intrigued, since I did recall that being brought up, I watched her reach down behind the counter, and she straightened up holding a muffin, topped with yellow glaze, upon which sat a small slice of lemon. Now, I was a big fan of anything citrus-flavored, especially in sweets. The smell coming off of this muffin was tantalizingly tart.

“Perfect!” I said. “I’ll take one.”

I handed over some bits, and she handed me the muffin.

“I think you’ll really like it, Dave,” said Mrs. Cake. “Derpy’s already given it her seal of approval, and everypony considers her a savant when it comes to muffins.”

“Well, if Derpy approves, it must be good,” I said, grinning, and took a bite.

My eyes snapped wide open, and I almost dropped the muffin in surprise. An explosion of lemony flavor had gone off against my taste buds, so strongly sweet and sour that it almost felt painful. Inconceivable! Inconceivable that one little muffin could contain so much flavor!

“Surprised?” asked Mrs. Cake, with a small laugh.

“Very,” I said. “This muffin really packs a punch!”

“Pinkie said almost the exact same thing,” said Mrs. Cake. “She taste-tests our newest goods, and even she couldn’t believe how strong the flavor was. That’s saying something, because that girl’s got a stomach and taste buds of iron.”

“No kidding,” I said, regarding the muffin more cautiously. “So, everything's going well?”

“Oh yes,” said Mrs. Cake. “Pinkie and Moonlight are really quite the dynamic duo when Carrot and I are busy. In fact, we’re considering letting the two run the bakery themselves soon, just for the day, so the two of us can enjoy a day away with the twins.”

“That sounds nice,” I said, “and I’m sure they’d both be up to the task.”

I carefully ate up the rest of the muffin, but despite the flavor still hitting my taste buds forcefully, it went down better than the first bite. After that, I felt something large and soft hit me in the side of the head. Looking around, I beheld Pound and Pumpkin giggling at me, while a stuffed monkey sat at my feet. At that precise moment, Pound next threw a stuffed turtle, which hit me in the torso.

“Now, now,” Mrs. Cake chided. “No throwing things, Pound.”

“Oh, it’s fine, Mrs. Cake,” I said, picking up the monkey and turtle and giving them back to Pound. “It didn’t hurt. I remember babysitting this one time back home, and the kid had quite the throwing arm when it came to his toys. Pound could’ve hit me with a lot worse.”

*SPLAT!*

I’d chosen my words poorly, it seemed, though Pound wasn’t the perpetrator this time. Pumpkin had somehow gotten her hooves on a cupcake, and had thrown it right at my face, splattering all over my glasses. Even though I couldn’t see her, I could still hear her and her brother laughing themselves silly.

“Pumpkin!” Mrs. Cake scolded. “Dave, I’m so sorry.”

The pink frosting obscuring my glasses was wiped away as Mrs. Cake swept a towel over the lenses, looking very apologetic. I was a bit annoyed, it was true, but I couldn’t bring myself to be angry at the twins. They were only babies, after all.

“It’s no big deal, Mrs. Cake, really,” I assured her. “I’m just glad I could give them a bit of entertainment.”

Mrs. Cake couldn’t help smiling at that.


***


A little while later in the day, I was strolling down the street, reasoning that I may want to stop into Barnyard Bargains for some groceries, when I heard the tinkle of a door bell nearby. Pinkie came out, and clutched inexplicably in her forelock was the tallest ice cream cone I had ever laid eyes on, a veritable stack of scoops, and each one a different flavor, by the look of it. What surprised me more than the size of the cone, however, was the rather put-out look on Pinkie’s face.

“Hi, Pinkie,” I said, genially.

She stopped and looked at me, the cone swaying ominously.

“Oh, hi, Davie,” she said.

She smiled, but it didn't seem like the right kind of smile.

“Is something wrong?” I asked. “I'd hardly picture you as the type to be morose over so much ice cream.”

I gestured to the monster cone. Pinkie glanced up at it and sighed.

“I wouldn't be, normally,” she said, “but this is different. See, even before winter was over, I had a hankering for ice cream, but it didn't feel right eating ice cream when it's cold. It's a warm weather treat, after all, like lemonade or sno-cones.”

I nodded, to show I knew what she meant.

“But I wanted a specific ice cream,” Pinkie went on. “I wanted a cone I'd been craving for a long time. I wanted a chocolate-strawberry-peach-vanilla-banana-pistachio-peppermint-lemon-orange-butterscotch cone!”

My brain reeled from such an extensive list of flavors, which was inexplicably familiar, though I couldn't place where. I took another look at the cone.

“Aaand isn't that what you have?” I asked, puzzled.

Pinkie stared at me as though I'd lost my marbles.

“Are you crazy, Davie?!” she cried. “That's not what I have at all! Look again!”

I did look again. Judging from the colors of each scoop, they seemed to be in the order she described.

“I still don't get it,” I said, scratching my head.

Pinkie sighed in frustration.

“It's supposed to be a chocolate-strawberry-peach-vanilla-banana-pistachio-peppermint-lemon-orange-butterscotch cone! What they gave me is a butterscotch-orange-lemon-peppermint-pistachio-banana-vanilla-peach-strawberry-chocolate cone!”

I was really getting befuddled by these compound flavors, as well as Pinkie’s confusingly roused ire about them.

“So, you're saying…” I said, inviting her to press on.

“I'm saying,” Pinkie said, through gritted teeth, “that they put the chocolate on the bottom, and the butterscotch on top, when I wanted the butterscotch on the bottom, and the chocolate on top! They put my ice cream cone together upside down!”

Ohhh, that was what all the fuss was about. Then again, that was what all the fuss was about?

“Pinkie,” I said, in a reasonable tone, “don't you think you're being a little, er, dramatic about this?”

Pinkie gave me that same ‘have you lost your mind’ look from before, only I perceived a twitch in her left eye.

“I mean, does it really matter which order the scoops are in?”

Pinkie looked about ready to explode.

“‘Does it matter’?” she echoed, quietly, before repeating it, shrilly. “‘Does it matter’?! Of course it matters! I wanted to save the chocolate for last! It's always the best part!”

I recoiled from her tone. She was really starting to scare me.

“But it'll all get eaten up in the end anyway,” I said, shrugging helplessly. “Besides, I didn't imagine you'd be so particular about flavors, when you eat almost anything.”

Pinkie scowled at me, her forelock somehow tightening on the cone, making a rather ominous cracking sound.

“You're a smart guy when it comes to a lot of things, Davie,” she said, coldly, “but you just don't understand ice cream at all.”

Her long tongue looped around the bottom scoop before pulling it out of the stack, the other scoops falling perfectly into alignment on the cone. She then pulled an abrupt about-face, showing me her pudgy rump and poofy tail before trotting huffily away, the cone still wobbling precariously in her mane’s grip. Her shouting had attracted quite a few onlookers, but they soon started acting like they hadn't been listening or watching.

For my part, all I could do was stare in utter bewilderment. What in the world had just happened? I couldn't recall ever seeing Pinkie getting so angry before, although, knowing her eccentricity, it would figure that she would get mad about something so trivial, even if it didn't seem so to her. The fact that she snapped at me left me at a loss, as she'd never gotten angry with me before, and I'd only been trying to be reasonable with her. How was I supposed to respond to this?

“Rough day for ice cream, huh, honey?”

I stopped and turned around. Dolly Tribune was standing behind me, bereft of her usual work attire, and holding a double-scoop cone in her magic. She was as curvy as ever, and was wearing a friendly smile.

“Hello, Dolly,” I said.

“I was in line when Pinkie Pie bought that monster cone. She got pretty uppity with the pony at the counter about the order of scoops, but I guess he was already having a bad day. He raved on about some little colt complaining about the size of the cone he got, and how he kept changing his mind every time he got him a new one. He stubbornly refused to make Miss Pie another cone like hers, told her to take what she had, and to eat it standing on her head if she insisted on eating the scoops in that order.”

Ohhh. So that was why she was in such a bad mood over it. The nerve of that guy!

“Wow,” I muttered. “No wonder she was so touchy. I had no idea.”

“It's ok, Dave,” said Dolly, rearing up and giving me a gentle squeeze around the shoulders. “I'm sure she'll be back to her old self sooner than you think. Plus,” she added, “I’m not gonna print a word of what happened. Not just for her sake, but for poor Cherry Top, too. I wouldn't want his place to go under just because of one little mishap with an unusual order. His ice cream’s way too good for that.”

She chuckled, and I couldn't help giving her a smile.

“Thanks, Dolly. Can’t believe you’re giving up on a scoop, though.”

She grinned, showing me that golden tooth of hers.

“That scoop, maybe, but not these,” she quipped, brandishing her cone. “See ya around, hun.”

She got back on all fours and trotted off, taking a lick at her cone. As for me, I remembered that I'd meant to go to Barnyard Bargains, and I headed that way, trying my hardest not to dwell on Pinkie too much.

“SNAKES ON A ROOFTOP!”

I jumped so badly that I thought my heart would fail. The shout had sounded right in my ear. I looked wildly around, as well as up, but I couldn't see any snakes on any rooftops. Several ponies who were nearby looked just as perplexed as I was, so none of them must have shouted it. Granny Smith was running as fast as her old legs could carry her, though, shouting to ‘run for the hills’. However, out of the corner of my eye, I thought I saw somepony flying away.

“Never a dull moment in Ponyville,” I muttered, as I continued on my way.


***


The inside of Barnyard Bargains looked completely transformed. Well, at least, the stuff that first met my eyes did. Now that winter was over, the foremost displays of merchandise were geared towards outdoor activities, especially gardening. There were flowerpots, trowels, packets of seeds, and bags of fertilizer in pride of place as soon as you walked in. There was also a substantial array of umbrellas. Spring was a rainy season, after all.

I started browsing around, taking my time in picking out what I wanted. My diet may have been over, and I had more liberty over what I could eat, but I didn't want to go too crazy. Still, I couldn't resist getting a nice big packet of popcorn, the kind you pop on the stovetop. It would be perfect for reading with Moonlight tonight.

“Finding everything all right, sir?”

I turned around, in the midst of grabbing a jar of pickles. A pony in an employee vest was standing nearby, wearing a polite smile. A second or two later, I recognized him.

“Oh, hello!” I said. “I remember you! I saw you at the party yesterday.”

“That's right,” said the employee, and he gestured to his name tag. “Almond’s my name, sir. And you're Dave, if I'm not mistaken.”

“That's right,” I said. “Nice to meet you. I am finding everything all right, thanks. This place has quite the selection.”

“Indeed it does,” said Almond. “And we're expecting our next shipment of Zap Apple Jam not too far off from now.”

“Oh?” I said, interested. “Does it sell out fast?”

“It is a very popular item, sir,” said Almond. “Stays fresh for moons, thanks to the jars, and absolutely delicious.”

“I do remember the Apples mentioning it,” I said. “I'll have to keep a lookout for when the season rolls around.”

“You won't be sorry, sir,” said Almond, grinning.

“So,” I said, putting the pickles in my cart, “you're friends with Moonlight too, huh?”

“Why, yes,” said Almond, his cheeks faintly reddening. “I mean, I hope I can be considered her friend. She's very sweet, and fun to talk to, and she's quite a good dancer, too.”

“She is a wonderful friend,” I said. “Have you two had a chance to hang out after work?”

“No, not yet,” said Almond. “Besides the party yesterday, that is. My schedule’s a little haphazard lately, and it's difficult finding a time that agrees for both of us.”

“I know how that feels, trust me,” I said, nodding. “It'll all work out, though, I'm sure.”

“Thank you, sir,” said Almond, gratefully. “I really should be getting back to work, but it was nice to meet you officially. Have a good day.”

“You too, Almond,” I said.

Almond took his leave, and I continued my perusing, but not before grabbing a nice big bottle of ketchup for potato fries.


***

I was wending my way home, laden down with shopping bags, when I heard both the flap of wings and the whirring of a propeller. Looking up, I saw Rainbow Dash hover into view, followed by her pet tortoise, Tank. He was wearing a pair of aviation goggles, and a dome-shaped apparatus on his shell, topped with an active propeller. So that was how he got around with his owner.

“Hi, Dash,” I said.

“Hey, dude,” said Rainbow. “Dunno if you met him yet, but this is Tank, my little buddy. Tank, this is Dave, my big buddy.”

“Hey there, Tank,” I said, genially.

The tortoise blinked his eyes slowly, but his beaky mouth curved into a little smile.

“He's been hibernating all winter,” said Rainbow, “so I'm getting him back into his daily flying exercises.”

“That so? Well, that's a pretty nifty flying machine he has there.”

“Isn't it?” asked Rainbow, proudly. “Twilight asked Doc to put it together, so Tank can go with me wherever I go. He's still a bit clumsy with it, though.”

As though to prove this fact, Tank suddenly jerked forward, bonking me right in the forehead with his shell. I staggered backwards, almost dropping my purchases, but Rainbow sped behind me to steady me, her hooves at my back.

“Sorry,” she said. “It's a good idea to invest in a sturdy helmet when you're around him. You only wanna get hit with a flying tortoise once, trust me.”

I couldn't help wondering how many times she'd been hit in the head by Tank. I refrained from asking, however.

“The real reason I came to talk, though,” she said, “is to tell you we've got some showers ahead this week. Mostly just some light drizzles throughout the day, but also a couple big ones mixed in. Tonight's one of them, starting at 7 and going late into the night. It’ll probably wrap up around 10 o’clock, maybe closer to half-past.”

“All right,” I said. “Thanks for the warning, Dash.”

“Anytime, buddy,” said Dash, grinning. “By the way,” she added, with a more quizzical look, “did you hear somepony yelling about snakes on a rooftop earlier?”

“I did, actually,” I said, recollecting that very odd moment earlier. “It sounded like somepony screamed it right in my ear. No idea what it was about, though.”

“I haven't got a clue, either. Somepony trying to be a practical joker, probably. Couldn't wait until next month to pull it off. Ah well,” Rainbow added, shrugging. “See ya ‘round, Dave, and stay dry.”

“Thanks, Rainbow. See you later.”

“Come on, Tank.”

After making another swerve that came close to giving me another knock on the head, Tank flew off behind his owner, the two soon out of sight. I regripped my grocery bags and continued homewards.

My progress was halted, once more, by a pony hopping into view before me. It was Pinkie, and she was wearing a very contrite expression on her face, which was a bit marred by the sticky, multicolored residue on her muzzle.

“Hi, Davie,” she said, sadly.

“Hi, Pinkie,” I said, a bit warily. “Are you all right?”

Pinkie shook her head.

“No,” she said. “I feel really awful for getting mad at you, and saying you didn't understand ice cream. That was really mean of me, Davie, and I'm sorry.”

She wasn't crying, but I was worried she was about to. Setting my bags very carefully down beside me, I knelt in front of her and gently tousled her mane.

“I'm not mad at you, Pinkie,” I said. “Dolly told me you were already having a bad time in the ice cream parlor. From what I heard, the vendor was really rude to you. Still, I didn't make the situation any better by not understanding why you were upset. Will you forgive me for my ignorance in ice cream?”

Pinkie's lip trembled, but she smiled all the same.

“Of course I will,” she said.

She leaned up and warmly nuzzled me, leaving a good-sized splotch of what was on her muzzle on my cheek. I couldn't help feeling grossed out, but this was pretty typical Pinkie behavior.

“Oopsies,” said Pinkie, smiling sheepishly. “Here.”

I was afraid she was going to lick it straight off. However, she merely pulled an unopened wet-nap from her mane and gave it to me. She ran her tongue over her muzzle to get what was on her own face while I blotted off what was on mine.

“Thanks,” I said.

“You're welcome. To be honest, I ate the cone the way it was, and it still tasted really good.”

“Well, that's good to hear,” I said.

“I was gonna eat it standing on my head to eat the scoops in the right order, but I worried that if I got brain freeze, it would go to my ears, and nopony wants freezy-ears.”

She twitched her ears for emphasis, then giggled in that adorable way of hers. I couldn't help chuckling, either. It was good to see her cheerful spirit restored. She gave me a hoof picking my bags back up (after unashamedly poking her nose in to see what I'd bought), bid me a cheery adieu, and hopped off, while I made for home once again.


***


After putting my groceries away, I beguiled the afternoon playing some more piano, and reading up on some of the information on dragons I’d received for my next assignment. It was all very fascinating. It described their yearly customs and traditions, most of which were merely tests of their strength, endurance, and determination. One was a particular coming-of-age practice in which fledgling dragons demonstrated their fire breathing and flying skills. They also had their own types of sports and athletic events, most of which involved pools of lava or the use of heavy rocks. Unsurprising, really.

It also featured aspects I hadn't considered before about dragon nature. Dragons could be greedy, but love of wealth and materialism was apparently a psychological aspect passed down from the earliest generations, and which took a strong will to suppress. The granddaddy of all dragons, the Dragon Lord, was appointed every century or so, after accomplishing a task of his predecessor’s choosing. Whatever the Dragon Lord said was dragon law, and no other dignitaries or heads of race in Equestria ever met with him unless on very pressing business. The opening of the Brimstone Lounge was one such notable exception.

I was thus occupied when the sky began to darken. Looking out the window, I saw some thick and dark clouds being moved across the sky. By the look of them, this was indeed going to be a pretty nasty downpour. I just prayed Moonlight would arrive before it started.

As 7 o’clock drew nearer, I started getting the house tidied up, and got some refreshments ready. A nice, big bowl of buttery popcorn, some two-liters of soda, and my new bag of candy, for good measure, sat on the coffee table, ready for consumption. Knowing Moonlight’s extraordinary metabolism, I felt confident this array would satisfy her.

I was starting to get nervous as the skies got darker and darker, but just as the clock was striking 7, there came a knock at the door, and a very hurried one at that. I bounded over, and opened it up to find my young friend. Before either of us could say a word, there was a terrific clap of thunder, quite close at hand. Moonlight gave a terrified squeak and bounded forwards, knocking me off balance and putting both of us in a heap on the floor. A gust of wind slammed the door as, with a great rush and patter, the rain started coming down in buckets.

Moonlight was panting heavily from her place on top of me, and she was shivering as well, her eyes wide with shrunken pupils. It seemed she was still not over her old fear. I reached up and gently patted her head to console her.

“Just in the nick of time, my friend,” I said, bracingly.

She nodded shakily, before shifting to get off of me.

“Sorry,” she said. “I guess I'm still not over storms yet.”

“It's all right,” I said, standing up. “Heck, I'm still scared of snakes, and going to Cloudsdale hasn't made me any less afraid of heights.”

Moonlight smiled at this, and I gestured to the couch and coffee table, where the copy of Shadow Spade and the refreshments sat waiting.

“Shall we?” I asked, politely.

Moonlight smiled wider and nodded. She sat herself down on the couch, and I joined her as she admired the eatables I'd laid out. She popped a couple kernels of popcorn in her mouth, munching happily.

“You spoil me, Dave,” she said, after swallowing.

“Only the best for my besties,” I said, grinning.

I picked up the book, opened it to the beginning, and with the rain drumming against the windows, the two of us began poring over it with the same attention as if it were a Daring Do novel.



***


By the end of our reading session, we’d luckily (or unluckily) ended on a rather intense cliffhanger. The popcorn, one of the bottles, and a good portion of the candy had been eaten and drunk clean away over the course of our reading. Moonlight and I looked from the page we’d stopped on to each other’s faces, mouths hanging open.

“Wow,” we both said together.

“What do you think?” Moonlight asked. “Do you think Monsieur LeBronc is guilty?”

“Hard to say,” I muttered. “His alibi seems to check out, but the thief did use his personal horseshoes, when they left those dirty prints.”

“Right,” said Moonlight, nodding. “Or what about the gardener, Weed Whacker? He’s pretty shifty, and he has a grudge against Madame Pennyfeather for all the work she puts on him.”

“True, but would they really make it that obvious?” I asked.

“Good point,” Moonlight said.

“What I can’t help admiring is Shadow Spade’s character,” I said. “She’s polite, charming, and she’s got a mind like a steel trap.”

“And she’s one tough cookie when she needs to be,” said Moonlight. “It’s like she knows exactly what to say or do to make the ponies she’s talking to open up.”

“Yeah. I think I can see why Rarity admires her, not to mention the amount of detail the author puts into her wardrobe.”

Moonlight giggled.

“By the way,” I said, recollecting something, “I ran into your friend Almond at Barnyard Bargains.”

“Oh?” asked Moonlight, her interest peaked.

“Yeah. He seems like a nice guy. He was also telling me he really wants to find time to spend with you, if your schedules would only agree.”

“Yeah,” said Moonlight, ruefully. “It hasn’t been easy, when our shifts don’t cooperate.”

I was half-tempted to make a joke about the two of them making it a date, but I refrained. I’d already teased her about it before.

“Well,” I said, “if you’d rather skip a reading night and have a night with him, all you’ve gotta do is say the word. I don’t wanna be the guy keeping you from being with a new friend.”

Moonlight smiled and patted my arm.

“Aw, Dave,” she said. “You’re not the problem, not by a long shot. We’ll work something out, but I appreciate your consideration. You’re a very sweet friend.”

“So are you,” I said, smiling back.

Just then, I noticed something. I put a hand to my ear and listened for a second or two.

“You hear that?” I asked.

Moonlight twitched her own ear, looking curious.

“I don’t hear anything,” she said.

“Exactly,” I said. “The rain’s stopped, and so’s the thunder. Perfect timing, huh? It’s almost like Rainbow Dash knew how long we’d be at it, and planned the storm accordingly.”

Moonlight giggled amusedly, and the two of us stood up as I walked her to the door. In the moonlight, I could see great wide puddles dotting the ground, and the air was thick with the smell of wet grass. There was a sizeable puddle right in front of my doormat, and I winced at how close it was to where I was standing.

“You’re lucky you’re a pegasus,” I said.

“Why?”

“Because you don’t have to worry about getting your hooves muddy. You can just fly right over the puddles. I’ll probably forget this is here tomorrow and step right in it.”

Moonlight smirked at me in a sidelong way.

“Am I hearing a bit of jealousy there?” she asked, bumping me with her hip. “You’re wishing you had wings, too?”

“Oh, please,” I retorted, smirking back at her. “If I had wings, I’d be too terrified to will myself off the ground. I’m perfectly happy with good old terra firma, thanks.”

Moonlight giggled.

“Well, good night, you big goofball,” she said, hovering up to give me a nuzzle.

“Good night, you little goofball.”

I watched her until she had safely entered her own house, then went back inside to get ready for bed. Only the second day of spring, and between new faces and new surprises, it had been very busy.

(Only in Equestria), I thought to myself.

Sunday, March 3
> *Alternate POV* Rainy Day Doings
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hondo Flanks, also known as Magnum to his friends, was no stranger when it came to packing for long trips. He and his wife, Cookie Crumbles, also known as Pearl, had an avid proclivity for travel, an incurable wanderlust and desire to see new sights that could rival the worldly travels of one Cranky Doodle Donkey.

On those occasions that the ‘travel bug’ nipped them, they felt confident in leaving their youngest daughter in the care of their eldest, especially since the two sisters had taken such great strides in renewing the bond between them. They'd come home to find Sweetie Belle in the best of moods, and Rarity, despite looking a little tired and harried, would be in a fairly good mood herself, even a little regretful that the stay couldn’t have lasted longer. The souvenirs that Magnum and Pearl picked up for them were always welcome; every available space in Sweetie’s room was littered with knickknacks and keepsakes her parents had brought home.

Bonding time between their daughters wasn’t the only benefit to so many out-of-town excursions. Packing for such trips was something of a second-nature to the pair of them. It was a technique perfected over the years until it became something of a science to both. Nothing was ever in danger of being forgotten or left behind.

Today, however, was slightly different.

“How’s it coming along, dear?” Pearl called from her closet.

“Just fine, honey. We’ll be ready to head to the station as soon as bowling’s done.”

Despite this assurance, Magnum was looking back and forth from one pile of clothes to the next: one comprising attire meant for sunny and warm weather, the other for cold and chilly. He stroked his proudly-groomed mustache in deep thought as he mulled them over, his brow furrowed.

“How’s it coming on your end?” he asked.

“Just trying to decide what I ought to wear,” Pearl replied.

Pearl stepped out of the closet, holding both a sunhat and a scarf in her magic and looking from one to the other, her lips pursed. From outside the bedroom came Rarity’s raised voice.

“If you would just let me make the pair of you something, I’d have you set for both climates! You’d be turning the heads of everypony you traveled by!”

Magnum chuckled and shook his head.

“We appreciate that, hun,” he called, “but it’s fine. As long as you’re making ponies happy at your shop, we’re happy, too.”

“Oh, honestly, Father,” Rarity sighed, and they could hear her hoofsteps retreating.

Rarity had been to the Crystal Empire with her close friends on a dangerous mission, one they naturally accomplished, to her parents’ unsurprised pride. When she returned, she had wasted no time in regaling them and Sweetie Belle with the beautiful wonders the Empire had to offer, and when their bowling buddy Dave had given a speech on the Empire itself, it only further fueled their desire to visit it.

The problem was, the Crystal Empire was up in the frozen north, but Rarity and her friends’ accounts claimed that the weather there was perfectly warm and pleasant. In all their years of travel, Magnum and Pearl had never heard of such contradictory climate conditions.

“You know what I'm thinking, honeybunch?” asked Magnum at last. “Let's just pack for both. If Rarity's right, all we'd need to worry about is getting cold on the train.”

Pearl smiled.

“Good idea, sweetie.”

So the pair’s suitcases were stuffed with both warm and cold weather clothes until they were full to bursting. After all, anything could happen while out of town, so it paid to be prepared for anything. Magnum pushed down hard on the lid of his suitcase, but it was so overpacked that simple hoof pressure wasn’t making it latch shut. After several futile attempts to shut it this way, he took a deep breath, jumped into the air, and slammed down on it with his elbow, as though doing a wrestling maneuver off the top rope of a ring. The mattress sank a few inches, but the suitcase finally clicked shut. Magnum moved off of it, wiping his brow, as Pearl just barely managed to close hers with her magic.

“That's done,” said Magnum. “Now, what do you think we ought to bring back for the girls?”

“Well, Sweetie Belle likes music,” said Pearl. “We could get her one of those flugelhorns Pinkie Pie kept talking about.”

Magnum chuckled.

“I can see her now, playing that thing ‘til the cows came home. And mind you, Daisy Jo’s a real night owl.”

Pearl laughed.

“Or we could get her some crystalberry sweets,” said Magnum. “I heard Applejack saying she wished she'd brought some crystalberries back to bake with. They sound tasty, from what she said.”

“Ooh, now there's an idea,” said Pearl. “We could bring a bushel back ourselves and bake a pie!”

“Another good idea, sugar lump,” said Magnum. “As for Rarity, we could see if they've got some fancy fabric she can use for her duds.”

“Or something crystally to spice up her boutique,” said Pearl.

“Exactly,” said Magnum. “And if all else fails, we can always see what kind of snow globes they have.”

“You read my mind, dear,” said Pearl, smiling.

The two shared a kiss, lugged their suitcases onto the floor, and started getting ready for bed.


***


“Dang-blasted snakes...ain’t gonna get...this ol’ mare…”

A mare Granny’s age could hardly be expected to move so quickly. True, it wasn’t Rainbow Dash levels of quickness, nor even the fastest gallop a typical adult pony could achieve, but it was still a considerable gait for somepony of her advanced years. Nevertheless, a combination of a hip replacement and the mention of a certain critter had set her off like a switch being thrown. She made for Sweet Apple Acres as fast as her legs could carry her, all else forgotten.

Finally, she reached the safety of the farm house, slamming the door behind her. She then collapsed into her favorite rocking chair, trying to catch her breath and calm her heart rate back down. Her hurried return hadn’t gone unnoticed, though. Applejack came bursting in, having seen Granny while out in the fields, and her grandmother’s haste had greatly unnerved her. Apple Bloom was right on her heels.

“Granny!” Applejack cried. “What happened? Are ya all right?”

But Granny was too winded for speech. In a twinkling, Applejack hurried to the kitchen and fetched her a glass of water while Apple Bloom looked on in worry. Applejack returned, and Granny gratefully gulped the water down, her breathing becoming easier.

“Thank you, Applejack,” she said. “I’m fine. Just had a bit of a scare, that’s all.”

“What kinda scare, Granny?” asked Apple Bloom.

“It ain’t the apple blight again, is it?” asked Applejack.

“No, no, and thank Celestia,” said Granny, shaking her head. “We don’t need that right when spring’s sprung. Somepony was shoutin’ ‘bout snakes on a rooftop, and Ah didn’t wait around long enough to see ‘em for mahself.”

Both sisters raised confused eyebrows.

“Snakes on a rooftop?” Apple Bloom repeated.

“What in tarnation would make somepony shout that?” asked Applejack.

“Heck if Ah know,” said Granny. “But Ah can’t stand the sight or thought of them slithery varmints, so Ah got the heck outta there without takin’ any chances.”

“Some prank of Dash’s, Ah’ll bet,” Applejack grumbled, inwardly resolving to have a little chat with the speedy prankster about this.

“Ah didn’t know you were so afraid of snakes, Granny,” said Apple Bloom. “How come?”

Granny looked a little surprised.

“Ah never told you that story?” she asked.

Apple Bloom shook her head.

“Well, Ah think yer about to be told now, sugarcube,” said Applejack, smirking. “Now that you’ve got Granny’s mind on it.”

“Oh, hush, Applejack,” Granny chided mildly, before turning back to Apple Bloom. “Well, it ain’t so fantastic a story that it’d go down in history books, ‘cept Cousin Goldie’s collection, but I ain’t ever gonna forget it as long as Ah live.”

Apple Bloom’s eyes were wide with interest as she sat down, Applejack beside her.

“It was well before you young’uns were born,” Granny went on. “In fact, it was while we were still on the move to find a place to settle, before we first arrived in Canterlot. There weren’t many places to stop and rest along the way: no inns or nothin’. And it would’ve been hard doin’ fer us to unpack all our belongins’ fer the night just to pack ‘em up again. So we camped around our wagons out in the open and took turns keepin’ watch. That way, nopony and no critter could come sneakin’ in and steal our things without us knowin’.”

“Did anypony ever try?” asked Apple Bloom.

“Not with us,” said Granny, “but it weren’t uncommon fer some bandit to come a-lootin’ unsuspectin’ ponies on the road, and some forest critters, raccoons, especially, take a fancy to anythin’ that ain’t theirs and nick it, and it’s tough chasin’ ‘em back down. Don’t even get me started on the manticores, either. We weren’t takin’ any chances.

“Well, one night, we stopped jest outside a patch of marshland. We weren’t too happy to, lemme tell ya: the whole place stunk worse than a barn full of steamed broccoli.”

Applejack grimaced. Apple Bloom actually put a hoof to her mouth, looking about ready to puke.

“But we’d been walkin’ all day, and we were too tired to go any further, so we jest had to suck it up and camp where we were. It weren’t easy to sleep; there were moskeeters everywhere, and they had a lot of ponies to take their pick from. Best Ah can say is at least they weren’t fly-ders.

“Anyway, when it was mah turn to take watch, I was sittin’ there, tryin’ to keep the skeeters off best I could, when Ah heard a rustlin’ in the grass. At first, I thought somepony might be sneakin’ toward us to try and ambush us, so Ah grabbed a fryin’ pan to protect maself, but what Ah saw there…”

Here, Granny shuddered, and Applejack put a consoling hoof on her shoulder. Granny swallowed, then went on,

“It was the biggest, meanest-lookin’ snake Ah’d ever laid eyes on. Ah reckon it was 6 feet long, and it was movin’ right for me. Ah could see its eyes gleamin’ in the dark as it came a-slitherin’, unblinkin’, almost hypnotic-like. Then it came to a stop and raised itself. Ah heard it hiss, and it were a sharp, loud sound in the dead of night. Then Ah saw it open its mouth, saw its fangs, ready to strike. Now, Ah couldn’t tell if it were a poison snake or not, but mah pa told me afterwards that it were, and I tell ya, poison or no, it had me frozen on the spot like a turkey in a blizzard. Ah couldn’t even call out, like there were a lump in mah throat. Ah felt sure Ah was done fer right there and then.”

Apple Bloom, looking terrified, had huddled herself against Applejack’s side, and the stout elder mare had a foreleg draped protectively around her. She herself looked pensive from her grandmother’s tale, even though she’d heard it before. Such an experience in the dead of night was not easy to hear more than once.

“Ah don’t rightly know how it happened, but the instant it struck at me, Ah swung with mah fryin’ pan. It were the only hope Ah had left! Well, it caught that snake right in the face, right when it was about to sink its teeth in me!”

Apple Bloom let out a gasp.

“Ah guess Ah put more power in that swing than Ah expected,” said Granny, “cuz it knocked that snake out cold. Ah didn’t rest easy, though. Ah was afraid it was gonna wake up any second and attack again, more ornery than ever after gettin’ hit before it could bite. Luckily, the sound of the pan woke the rest of the family up. They saw what a narrow shave Ah’d had, and we moved on as quick as we could, in case more of ‘em come after us. Ma and Pa scolded me for not wakin’ them up as soon as Ah saw it, but my mind had been too befuddled from everythin’ that happened.

“Since then, Ah’d been more wary about snakes than ever, and when we settled down here at last, Ah did what I could to make sure they couldn’t get into the barn or the house when we was all sleepin’. And it wasn’t just me Ah was worried about. Ah wasn’t gonna let my young’uns be easy prey for those varmints either. Ah had to securely snakeproof your dad’s room when he was a foal, and the same for you two and Big Mac, but it was worth it.”

Apple Bloom looked nothing short of awed.

“Wow,” she said. “If that ever happened to me, Ah think Ah’d be pretty scared of snakes, too.”

“No kiddin’,” said Applejack. “Of course, Fluttershy would stick by ‘em no matter what sort they were. Bless her.”

“Oh, Ah know not all snakes are bad,” said Granny, “but you can never be too careful. Now, then, you two should get back to what you were doin’.”

“Well, all right, but are you sure yer ok?” asked Applejack.

“Of course, dear,” said Granny, fondly ruffling both of her granddaughter’s manes. “Ah don't want you two frettin’ bout me just cuz of an old scare.”

Smiling, Applejack and Apple Bloom turned to head back outside. At the door, Apple Bloom stopped dead in her tracks. A snake had just slithered past, inches from her hoof. She let out a yelp and backed up into Applejack.

“Easy, Apple Bloom,” said Applejack. “It was just a grass snake. It's harmless.”

Apple Bloom breathed a sigh of relief. From her spot in her rocking chair, Granny Smith said,

“Ah told ya: you can never be too careful.”


***


Cheerilee let out a sigh as she gazed up at the blackening sky, having just stepped out of Barnyard Bargains with full saddlebags. The storm, which had seemed so far away not too long ago, had loomed dangerously close in just as little time. The kindhearted teacher doubted she'd be able to make it home without getting caught in the ensuing deluge.

“This is what I get for debating over buy-one-get-one on paper towels for so long,” she muttered. “But it was such a good deal.”

“Goin’ my way?”

Cheerilee looked to her right in surprise. Big Macintosh was standing there, wearing his own saddlebags, a large green-and-red saddle umbrella on his back and a genial smile on his face. He unhitched the umbrella and set it on Cheerilee’s back.

“Why, Big Mac,” said Cheerilee, gratefully. “How thoughtful! Thank you so much.”

“Eeyup.”

“But aren't you going to get soaked, then?”

“Eenope.”

From within his saddlebags, he drew out a second, folded umbrella and set it upon his back. It sprang open, and just in time, as raindrops began falling thick and fast, and a rumble of thunder rent the air. Cheerilee winced, but the span on the umbrella shielded her completely. With another grateful smile at Big Mac, she set off, the stallion strolling beside her.

“So, how are things at the farm?” Cheerilee asked.

“Same old,” said Big Mac. “Now that it's spring again, Zap Apple Season is right around the corner.”

“Ahh, that's right,” said Cheerilee, keenly. “I'll have to remember to stop by Barnyard Bargains once Filthy Rich gets his shipment.”

“Or we can save a jar or two for you at the farm,” Big Mac suggested, with a wink.

“Oh, you don't have to do that,” said Cheerilee, modestly.

“It's the least we can do,” said Big Mac. “Yer practically family yerself, Cheerilee. And in any case, if we get a good haul this year, we're plannin’ to save jars fer both bowlin’ teams. It'll be Dave’s first time, anyways.”

“Oh, I'm sure he'll love it,” said Cheerilee, smiling. “I always do.”

Big Mac grinned back.

“How's things at the schoolhouse?” he asked.

“Oh, the usual,” said Cheerilee. “Actually, the school bell’s developed a crack in it, so we haven't been able to ring it.”

“Oh, now that's a shame,” said Big Mac, sympathetically.

“It is,” said Cheerilee, with a sad nod. “We petitioned the school board for repairs, but Spoiled Rich keeps giving us the same argument: ‘no money in the budget for such things’.”

Big Mac snorted in a disgruntled way. He was well aware of Spoiled Rich and her stinginess. If she could deign to donate even a fraction of her wealth to spruce things up at the school, you'd never even recognize the place, but that was wishful thinking. Of course, if it was something in her daughter’s interest, she'd shell out in a heartbeat.

“Ah’d be more than happy to fix the bell maself,” he offered.

“Now, Big Mac, that's just too much,” said Cheerilee, blushing. “I couldn't possibly ask that of you, when you must have so much to do at the farm already.”

“It wouldn't be a bother at all,” said Big Mac, honestly. “Not when it's fer a good friend.”

The blush receded a bit as Cheerilee smiled gratefully.

“I'll think about it,” she said, “but thank you very much for the offer.”

“Eeyup.”

The two walked on in relative silence after that, shielded by their two umbrellas. At last, they came to the front door of Cheerilee’s home. Big Mac stepped forward slightly so that she was still protected as she folded up her umbrella and gave it back to him.

“Thank you for your gallant escort, Big Mac,” she said, sweetly.

“Eeyup,” said Big Mac, inclining his head. “Anythin’ fer a friend like you, Cheerilee. See you Tuesday fer bowlin’?”

“I wouldn't miss it,” said Cheerilee. “Good night.”

“Night.”

With that, Cheerilee stepped inside and closed the door. Big Mac, on his part, started off back home himself, the rain still pounding down, but unheeded by the kind-hearted stallion.

For her part, Cheerilee put her groceries away, the drumming of the rain sounding much more welcome now that she wasn’t in its path. That done, and after setting the tea kettle to heat up on the stove, she headed to the kitchen table, where a stack of papers, the usual reports and work from her students, awaited her. Humming a little, she slid the first one in front of her, but even as she pored over it, making small notes on improper punctuation or spelling, her mind was also on what she ought to do to thank Big Mac for the umbrella. Cookies were always a welcome option, and she was sure Pinkie Pie would be more than happy to oblige.

“Needs a little more report, and a little less Rainbow Dash. B+,” she wrote down at last.

This wasn’t even the first time she’d had to write that down on a piece of homework from Scootaloo. She shook her head, half-exasperated, half-amused, feeling she could do with some time away from grading papers for a change, just as the kettle began to whistle. Once she’d gotten her cup of tea, very welcoming after the cold and wet outside, she slid the next report in front of her to look over, with the rain still beating against the windows.


***


To some ponies, listening to a storm raging outside gives them a sense of contentment and comfort. It reminds them that, while it's bad out there, they can take solace knowing they're safe under a roof, away from the wind and rain. Apart from that, they know it won't last forever, and will eventually blow itself out.

Other ponies don't have such peaceful thoughts at these times. They're unnerved and frightened by the meteorological frenzy happening just outside their windows. The beating of the rain, the roaring of the wind, the crashing of the thunder, and the flashing of the lightning all play a part in creating a formidable, foreboding, and even dangerous atmosphere; the sort that precedes some great calamity.

Pound Cake and Pumpkin Cake, being only babies, were two such ponies who did not enjoy the sounds of the storm. Luckily, their loving parents were well aware of this. They had a special way of keeping the twins’ minds off of such things.

“Nice and easy, Pound Cake,” said Mr. Cake, as Pound cracked an egg on the rim of the mixing bowl. “That's my boy!”

“Ok, steady now, Pumpkin,” said Mrs. Cake, as Pumpkin tipped a measuring cup full of sugar into a bowl with her assistance. “Atta girl! Look at Mommy’s little helper!”

Every time the forecast looked particularly grim, the Cakes engaged in a special team project: baking a storm cake, as they called it. Storm cake was never the same flavor twice in a row. Mr. and Mrs. Cake let the twins decide the flavor, based on pictures. They baked together as the storm raged, and ate it together when it was done.

As an honorary Cake herself, Pinkie joined in as well. She helped the twins with the more difficult tasks and kept them laughing with her silly antics. Even Gummy helped out, being Pinkie’s especial taste tester. The pudgy party pony always trusted the little gator’s judgement; his ‘refined palate’, as Pinkie put it, had never failed yet.

While the cake was in the oven, there would've been no other means to distract the twins, if not for having them help clean up. Despite their youth, Pound and Pumpkin were fairly sharp foals, and it made them happy to be any kind of help to their parents and auntie. Between the five of them (six, if you counted Gummy), they had the kitchen spic and span again in a twinkling.

After that, they played games or sang songs. Pinkie was an absolute well of the latter. No occasion seemed too trivial that she did not have a composition prepared for it. She'd learned from her grandmother, after all. Particular favorites of the twins included:

The rain and thunder might be loud
But don't be afraid of a grumpy old cloud

Splishy-splash
Drip-drop
Who knows when the rain will stop
But when it's done, we like to hop
Through the puddles with a plop

But perhaps their all-time favorite was one in which their parents joined in as well:

It's a rainy day in Ponyville
The skies are dark and gray
But when the rain is over and done
Then we’ll go out and play

And in what felt like no time at all, the storm cake would be ready. If they were lucky, the storm would already have blown itself out by this time. Whatever the case, the twins would be too happy with the games, music, and cake to give any care to the weather.

Tonight was no different, and the coconut cake they'd made had been baked to perfection. After everypony had eaten their fill, the twins would be full and sleepy, and depending on when the storm was happening, it would be either nap time or bedtime for them. Pinkie would take them up to tuck them in while the elder Cakes cleared up.

“I know it's probably silly to say it, Carrot,” said Mrs. Cake, “but sometimes-”

“You wish we could do this every day?” Mr. Cake supplied, smiling.

Mrs. Cake nodded with a laugh.

“I feel the same way, sugarplum,” he said, gently.

The two shared a kiss, just as Pinkie bounced in.

“Ooh, maybe I should ask Rainbow Dash if the weather team could make it rain every day! Then it would be Storm Cake Day every day!”

Mr. and Mrs. Cake laughed.

“There's really no need for that, Pinkie,” said Mr. Cake.

“But it's sweet of you to suggest,” said Mrs. Cake.

Beaming, Pinkie bounced in between them and pulled them into a hug, which they gladly returned.

“You know,” said Mr. Cake, “I’ve been thinking: we’ve got quite a bit of money sitting by, with the royalties we’ve gotten for those gemstone cupcakes. What do you think we ought to do with it?”

“Ooh! Ooh!” Pinkie squealed. “We could use it to get new toys for the twins! Their blocks have been looking a little chippy, cuz Pound keeps throwing them at the wall.”

“Actually,” said Mr. Cake, with a smile, “I was thinking something more along the lines of a vacation, to get away from the hustle and bustle of Sugarcube Corner.”

“Ooooh,” said Pinkie, her eyes lighting up. “I like that idea a lot better!”

“So do I,” said Mrs. Cake, beaming.

“Then it should just be the four of you,” said Pinkie, decisively. “You two and the twins. Moonlight and I can look after the Corner for you! Pinkie Promise!”

She accompanied this declaration with the typical motions of a Pinkie Promise, along with a salute. The Cakes looked delighted.

“Oh, Pinkie, that’s very sweet of you to offer,” said Mrs. Cake.

“Are you sure you won’t mind?” Mr. Cake asked.

“As long as you all are enjoying yourselves, that’s all I need,” said Pinkie, smiling.

And this time, it was the two Cakes who initiated the ensuing hug, and their cheerful employee who reciprocated in gleeful kind.


***


That evening, as the rain died down, and not for the first time, Lyra Heartstrings stood before the full-length mirror in her and Bon Bon’s bedroom. She was turning herself this way and that, observing herself from as many angles as she could. She seemed to take particular time and attention in observing her rump, frowning slightly as she twisted herself about. She also reared up onto her hind legs, looking down at her stomach. She gave it a prod with her hoof, watching it sink in a little. She even sucked it in to puff her chest out, only to let it back out again.

Ever since completing her diet, she’d been reveling in how much fitter and healthier she felt. She no longer felt as lazy and lethargic as she used to after a day’s work at the candy shop. She now felt quite willing to leave the comfort of her favorite spot on the couch, next to the radio, and join Bon Bon for a night out, which they'd been doing even before Winter Wrap Up.

She still wasn’t the skinniest of ponies, but the diet had done a world of difference to her figure. Favorite clothes of hers that used to feel tight around the middle and rear were now comfortably loose, especially her favorite pair of pants. However, she also couldn’t help contemplating her new shape in the mirror, wondering if it really was her she was looking at. There was something else bothering her, though.

“Gotten paranoid, have we?”

Lyra gave a start, but didn’t need to turn around. She could see Bon Bon coming in from the reflection in the mirror, a look of mingled exasperation and amusement on her face. Lyra rolled her eyes, still on her hind legs.

“You’re one to talk about paranoia,” she quipped.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You’re neurotic about everything,” said Lyra, putting her hooves to her hips, “down to how many sprinkles go on a single chocolate-covered pretzel stick.”

“As I’ve already mentioned to you,” Bon Bon retorted, with the air of a wearied scholar, “the sprinkle-to-chocolate ratio is extremely important. Too much chocolate, and it overwhelms the taste buds. Too much sprinkle, and you lose the taste of chocolate. As my taste tester, you ought to appreciate that more than anypony.”

“Yeah, yeah,” sighed Lyra. “Anyway, I’m not being paranoid. It just feels kinda weird. I can’t remember ever being this…lightweight.”

She cupped her belly under her hooves, lifting what little pudge was left on it before letting it plop down again, settling onto all fours as she did. Bon Bon giggled and walked up to her so that they were side by side.

“You might be a little trimmer,” she said, “but you’re no lightweight, Lyra.”

“You’re one to talk, Bon Buns,” said Lyra, cheekily, bumping Bon Bon’s hip with hers on the word ‘buns’.

Bon Bon’s lips tightened, but she said nothing.

“And I’m not trying to be vain or anything,” said Lyra, “looking in the mirror all the time. I just can't believe it really happened, that I dropped all that weight.”

“That's normal,” said Bon Bon, reasonably. “A lot of ponies who finish a diet can hardly believe what they see when it's over.”

“But it's not just that,” said Lyra.

That same nagging doubt that had been eating away at her resurfaced, and she asked, with a hint of worry in her voice,

“How long will it last?”

Bon Bon looked surprised, both at the question and Lyra’s tone. This didn't sound like her at all.

“What do you mean?”

Lyra swallowed.

“I mean, how long will it take before I’m a big, lazy, chair-wrecking fatso again?” she asked. “Before I'm back to sitting around at home, not wanting to do anything outside the house with you? Before I'm being a burden to my mare again?”

The two mares looked into each other’s eyes. Thankfully, Lyra didn’t look on the verge of tears, but there was definite anxiety in those bright tangerine eyes of hers, fear over undoing what they'd been working for.

For a second or two, Bon Bon simply stared. She'd had no idea Lyra was feeling this way, and that part of her anxiety was about inconveniencing her. With a kind smile, she nuzzled her marefriend. Lyra closed her eyes at the touch, feeling herself start to relax.

“Don’t worry about that,” Bon Bon said, gently. “After all the hard work we did, it would take a long time for you to get that big again, even if I double-timed you on taste-testing duties. And I'm perfectly fine with spending a quiet evening at home. It doesn't matter where I am, as long as it's with you.”

Lyra’s lip trembled, but she smiled all the same.

“Thanks, Bonnie,” she said. “That means a lot. I feel the same about you.”

“And besides,” Bon Bon added, “no matter what size you are, you’ll always be my lovable Lyra.”

She accompanied this with a prod to Lyra’s belly, making her giggle.

“And you’ll always be my Bonnie Buns,” she said, poking Bon Bon’s stomach in return.

Bon Bon’s cheeks flushed briefly, but Lyra accompanied it with a kiss on the cheek. She therefore couldn’t help smiling as she returned the kiss.

“I love you, Lyra.”

“And I love you, Bonnie.” Then she said, after letting loose a tremendous yawn, “I'm gonna wash up before bed. My teeth need a serious brushing after all those low-fat caramels you made me try. The first batch almost cemented my jaws together.”

“Oh, har-dee-har,” said Bon Bon, dryly.

Lyra trotted out of the room, Bon Bon watching her go. Then, when she'd disappeared, Bon Bon cautiously turned to the mirror and, just like Lyra, began observing herself from all angles, looking from her stomach to her rear.

“And you were calling me paranoid.”

Bon Bon jumped with a squeak. She glared, crimson-cheeked, at the door in the reflection, just in time to see Lyra’s head duck out of sight, snickering. With a weary sigh, she flipped the mirror so that its blank back faced the room, then set about getting ready for bed.
> Busy First Week of Spring
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

*splish*

“Oh, for crying out loud…”

Just as I had predicted last night, the second I stepped out my front door the next morning, I stepped in the puddle that had pooled there. The water surged into my shoe and soaked my sock. Even the cuff of my pant leg got drenched. I sighed.

“Well, that's on me,” I muttered. “I knew that would happen, and I completely forgot about it.”

I got my morning mail, went back inside, and did the best I could to dry off my shoe and foot before putting on a new sock. There was only a single letter and the newspaper. Looking at the former, however, I saw that it bore an official-looking seal on the envelope, and read ‘Councilstallion David, Ponyville’ as the recipient, and ‘Prince Shining Armor, Crystal Empire’ as the sender. Wondering what Shining Armor could be contacting me for, I eagerly opened the letter and read it out.

“Dear Dave,
I hope you’ve been doing well. Things have really been picking up ever since the Empire was saved from King Sombra. Ponies are pouring in from all over Equestria to see it. You and the rest of the Council must’ve done a great job promoting it in your speeches. Cadence and I have been kept really busy making sure everypony gets the full Crystal Empire experience, and Minister Ironmane’s been lending a hoof as well. It’s been a bit exhausting, but it’s all worth it. 

The real reason I’m writing is because we’ve uncovered something that could really benefit the Brimstone Lounge. The Empire has a special group of royal geologists and mineralogists, including some alumni from a prestigious institute of rockology, the finest I’ve ever seen, and they recently unearthed a pocket of gemstones. A big one, too; if the one Sparkler Hooves recommended ever runs dry, she can rest easy knowing we’ve got even more to keep the dragons at the Lounge fed with.

Some of the gems that have been found would really fascinate Rarity. Perfectly-formed icosahedrons, like a traditional O&O die, and I’ll bet they roll perfectly. Then again, Cadence and I have been told that the shape doesn’t dictate the taste of gems for dragons; it’s the luster and color that determine a gem’s flavor. At least, whenever I’ve asked Spike how a gem tastes, he always describes it as though he’s eating candy or potato chips.

Anyways, I think the Lounge is gonna do just fine if we keep having luck like this. I know Twilight has no reason to complain, either. Now that ponies and dragons are friends, she’s probably already ordering whatever dragon-related literature she can. I wouldn’t be surprised if she submitted a research paper on the subject. Still, I’m glad she also finds time to help you out with your council work.

Hope to see you again soon. 
Sincerely,
Shining Armor”

Well, this was fantastic news! The Lounge was sure to prosper under such good fortune as this! Still, what on earth was an ‘O&O die’, or an icosahedron? That was the only part that puzzled me, but I set aside the letter all the same and picked up the morning paper. As I flipped through it, I thought I saw a familiar image printed in the advertisements. A second later, I realized it was just something else, an ad for Serenade’s music store. However, for a moment, I thought I’d seen the flyer for the amateur concert printed there, and was about to question how the girls had managed that. Still, by this time, I was certain word had already spread all throughout Ponyville.

“I just wonder how long it'll be until Vinyl and Octavia are settled in,” I said to myself, “not to mention who else is gonna sign up.”

For that matter, I didn't even know what I was going to play. Sweetie Belle said she was going to be on the lookout for songs, but now that it was Monday, I supposed I'd have to wait until after school one of these days to hear from her. In the meantime, I couldn't leave my dragon assignment sitting idle for too long. I'd have to go see Twilight about it, check and see when she'd be available to help out. I could only imagine how much she'd freak out over new information on dragons.

As I gathered up the materials I'd gotten from Cirrus and Nimbus, to let her peruse for herself, another thought came to me. Twilight hadn't said anything recently about the possibility of sending me home. I could only suppose that meant nothing had changed in our favor. It was ridiculous to assume that she'd forgotten.

But then again, a lot had been going on: everything to do with the Crystal Empire, Winter Wrap Up, and whatever may have constituted a normal day for her otherwise. She had much more important things to worry about than dealing with me 24/7. Was it worth it even to ask?

In the end, I decided to let the mood she was in decide my course of action. If she was irritable or busy, I'd simply ask when would be a good time to conduct another homework session, then take my leave. If she was in a better mood, I'd risk inquiring after talking about the assignment. Plus, I could show her her brother’s letter. With that in mind, I gathered up my materials and headed out.


***


When I arrived at the library and knocked, it was some time before I got a response. Then, there was a clatter, and the door was flung open by Spike.

“Oh! Hey, Dave!”

“Hi, Spike,” I said. “Is Twilight in?”

“Yeah, she’s upstairs,” Spike said, gesturing with his thumb. “Did you want to see her?”

“Only if she’s not too busy.”

Spike glanced at the papers in my hand, considered for a moment or two, then shrugged.

“You should be fine, buddy. Come on in.”

“Thanks.”

I headed inside and up the stairs. I found Twilight seated on her bed, holding two books in front of her magically, as well as a quill over a piece of paper next to her. Every now and then, she would scribble something on the paper. The books obscured her face from me, so I was sure she didn’t know who had come in, until she said, in a casual tone,

“Hi, Dave. I’ll be with you in just a second.”

I stared, perplexed.

“How did you know it was me?” I asked. “Have you been practicing a divination spell or something.”

“No.”

With a snap, both books closed at the same time, revealing Twilight’s face, wearing a slightly smug smile.

“Your shoes don’t make the same sound as Spike’s claws do,” she said. “I’ve learned to differentiate the two by now.”

“Oh,” I said, taken aback a little by such a mundane answer. “Er, right.”

Twilight still smiled, but it was her usual gentle and friendly smile by now.

“Was there something you needed, Dave?”

“Only if it’s not a bad time,” I said. “You look kind of busy.”

“Oh, this?” Twilight asked, gesturing to the tomes floating beside her. “It’s just a little side project I have going on. I’m comparing a recent, modern edition of Donkey Quixote with the original text, to see what was changed, and to make notes on whether or not these changes were for the better.”

“Oh,” I said, intrigued. “What have you discovered so far?”

“Well, so far, the recent adaptation flows just as well as the original,” said Twilight, “and it’s easier to understand at some points, too, but at other times, the changing of dialogue or use of different descriptions lessens the impact for a true fan, so it’s hard to decide which one you’d rather read. I also found 17 typos!” she added, with an excited little squeal.

“Oh,” I said.

I wasn’t really sure if that was something to be proud of, but then again, this was Twilight.

“But, like I said, it’s just a side project,” said Twilight. “What was it you needed?”

“Well, I think I have a project that’ll really suit your fancy, Twi,” I said, grinning. “Minister Ironmane sent me a new assignment, to write about dragons. I was hoping we could arrange another homework night.”

At the sound of the word ‘dragons’, Twilight's eyes lit up with acute interest, the books landing with heavy thuds on the bed beside her. Next second, however, her lips were pursed in a thoughtful way.

“I'd be glad to, but I don't think we could do it today. This is a long book, so it’s going to keep me busy for a few days at least. Princess Celestia also hinted that she was going to send me some new spells to practice soon.”

My heart sank a little, but her work did come first.

“I understand,” I said.

“When is this assignment due?” Twilight asked.

“In two weeks.”

Twilight rubbed her chin thoughtfully for a second or two, then called,

“Spike! Could you fetch me my planner?”

Within seconds, Spike appeared at Twilight’s side, a leather-bound day planner in his claws, and the expression of one complacently accustomed to this sort of routine. Twilight accepted it in her magic.

“Thanks,” she said, before opening it.

She flipped through several pages, mumbling to herself as her amethyst-colored eyes roved left to right, top to bottom. I waited on tenterhooks, worried that she might not be able to find a free space of time in her schedule. I know it seemed like I was utterly dependent on her for these assignments, but her assistance meant a great deal. She made it all easier to understand.

At last, she nodded and turned back to me.

“How does a week from today sound? I’ll need to read over what you have to gain a good understanding, but that’ll still leave us plenty of time.”

My heart lifted again.

“Great! Thanks, Twi.”

“Of course,” said Twilight, smiling. “So, if you’re ok with it, could you leave what Minister Ironmane sent to you with me? Brutus promised that dragon literature would be hitting the shelves and archives soon, but it hasn’t arrived here yet. I promise you’ll get them back in good condition,” she added, with a wink.

“Oh, of course!” I said. “I’d be glad to!”

As I handed the papers over to her, Twilight’s eyes fell on the letter Shining Armor had sent me.

“Oh, right!” I said, remembering, and handing it to her as well. “Your brother happened to send that to me.”

“Did he now?”

She lifted it up and read it through, giggling a little as she progressed.

“That was really nice of him,” she said, at last. “And them finding even more gems for the Lounge is great news!”

“It is,” I agreed. “Only, what does he mean by ‘O&O die’ and ‘icosahedron’?”

“Oh,” said Twilight, rolling her eyes in amusement. “He means ‘Ogres and Oubliettes’. It’s a fantasy role playing game he and his friends used to play in high school, and it uses an icosahedral, or 20-sided, die. He’s got Spike hooked on it, as a matter of fact.”

“You say that like it’s something to be embarrassed about,” said Spike, loftily, his arms folded. “I wouldn’t expect you or the girls to understand. I’m sure if Dave saw it for himself, he’d love it.”

“I’m sure I would,” I said, grinning. “It sounds a lot like a game back home, one I’ve never actually played before, but always wanted to.”

“Then we need to set up a guy’s night to get you initiated, my friend,” said Spike, with a grin of his own.

“All right, all right,” said Twilight, giggling. “Was that all you needed, Dave?”

I was about to say ‘no’, when I remembered what else I’d planned to ask. I looked awkwardly down at my feet, shuffling them.

“Er, actually, Twi, there’s one other thing,” I said, tentatively. “I, er, don’t suppose you’ve seen any...you know, changes to...certain arrangements?” I finished, waving my hand vaguely and grinning very awkwardly.

I knew I was doing a poor job of being subtle about the matter. Spike stared at me as if lobsters were coming out of my ears. Twilight seemed to guess what I was trying to ask, however. She shook her head sadly.

“I’m sorry, Dave,” she said. “I’ve been very busy with other work, but whenever I get even the slimmest chance, I check the signs. Still nothing.”

I was expecting that, but it still left a dull pang inside. Spike now seemed to understand, as he looked from me to Twilight, a slightly anxious look on his face.

“It’s all right, Twilight,” I said. “You’ve got better things to do than fret about me 24/7, let alone helping me with all of my council work.”

“You’re worth fretting about, Dave,” said Twilight, patting my hand with a kind smile. “I want to find out how you came here and how to get you back just as much as you do. If there’s one thing I can’t stand, it’s an unsolved mystery, especially when a friend is entangled in it.”

“You and me both,” I said, feeling a surge of gratitude for her compassion.

“Besides, Princess Celestia and Minister Ironmane know I’m something like your ‘court advisor’,” Twilight went on. “I’ll always be here to help you when I can.”

“Thanks, Twi,” I said, gratefully. “I should probably leave you to your side project. I’ll see you again next Monday.”

“See you then, Dave,” said Twilight. “Spike, could you walk him out for me?”

“Sure thing,” said Spike.

As the two of us walked off, Twilight picked her books back up and began scribbling again, immersed in her side project. At the front door, Spike tugged my pant leg to get my attention, then motioned for me to come closer. I bent down so that my ear was level with his face, and he whispered,

“Next chance the two of us get, I’ll fill you in on all things Power Ponies and O&O. I’ve been trying to organize a guy’s night for a while now.”

“That’d be pretty sweet,” I said. “Maybe you could come to bowling tomorrow night, see if anypony else on my team might be interested.”

“Sounds great! I’m sure Twilight won’t mind. See ya then.”

“See ya.”

Spike opened the door for me with a smile. I nodded my thanks and headed off back for home.

Monday, March 4



***


Tonight’s bowling was as fun as ever, in spite of the doozy of a downpour going on outside. The coming of spring seemed to have instilled new vigor into my bowling pals, and it was reflected magnificently in their playing. Their balls sped down the lanes as though they’d been recently waxed, and the crash of the pins being knocked over was like the concussive blast of a cannon.

Spike had been granted permission by Twilight to come to the alley. He didn’t have much interest in playing, since he was, by his own words, ‘on a scouting mission’, so he sat by cheering us on as we played. I couldn’t help noticing, however, that the only players he cheered for as loudly as my team were Magnum and Pearl. I had a shrewd suspicion as to the reason, but I kept quiet and kept my laughter about it to myself.

Speaking of Magnum and Pearl, the talk of that night was of their taking a trip to the Crystal Empire that very evening, right after bowling. Now that was some hardcore dedication to traveling.

“Between what Rarity and Dave said,” said Magnum, “we’ve got a powerful itch to see it for ourselves.”

“Might wanna put some lotion on it first,” quipped Caramel, earning a laugh all around.

“I’ve only seen it after it recently came back,” I said, “so I can only imagine what it might be looking like now, bustling with ponies come to see it for the first time. And it’s all thanks to the girls and Spike.”

I glanced at the little dragon, who puffed his chest out with pride.

“Ah need to see about findin’ time to see it maself,” said Big Mac, who had just come back from scoring a skin-of-the-teeth spare. “Applejack hasn’t been rubbin’ it in, but she says those crystal berries they grow are mighty tasty.”

“We’ll be sure to bring some back if we can, hun,” said Pearl, smiling.

“The soil’s really good there, from what I’ve learned,” I said, “so they grow and ripen pretty quickly.”

“We’re thinking about closing up the shop for a little while and seeing the Empire for ourselves,” said Bon Bon, nodding her head to indicate Lyra, who nodded. “I heard Fluttershy talking to Dr. Fauna about the adorable crystal ewes they have at the petting zoo, and I just have to see them for myself.”

“And I wanna see me some jousting!” said Lyra. “The seaponies had their own version of it with lances made from narwhal tusks, you know. Of course, coming from the sky at first, it took them a while to get the hang of it.”

Bon Bon simply rolled her eyes.

“It would make for quite the field trip,” said Cheerilee. “I’m sure the foals would love it as a nice ‘end of the school year’ treat.”

Screwball, after sending her ball down the lane in a way that somehow made it roll back and forth once or twice, like a yo-yo, before hitting the pins, simply grinned, making a sound like a parrot’s squawk.

In the downtime between games, Spike went around our team, asking if any of them would be interested in being part of a guy’s night with him and me. Meadow Song politely, albeit quietly, declined. Caramel said he’d be glad to, but he’d have to see it his schedule was open, what with plans for his and Sassaflash’s wedding. Magnum said he’d have to think on it after he and Pearl came back. Big Mac seemed the most interested, and promised that he’d get back to Spike after talking with Applejack and Granny Smith first, just to be sure nothing would be wanting if he wasn’t there. Spike seemed very pleased.

The evening passed off pleasantly, until it was time to head home, when the rain had thankfully died away. Magnum and Pearl had already said goodbye to Rarity and Sweetie Belle before coming to the alley, and so they hailed a taxi. We all wished them a fun and safe trip before they rode off, and then we all went our ways to our separate homes.

“Once you and Twilight get done with this dragon assignment of yours,” Spike said, “I’ll see about arranging a guy’s night between me, you, and Big Mac, if he can make it.”

“Sounds like a plan, little buddy,” I said. “Want me to walk you back to the library?”

“Nah, I’m good,” said Spike. “Thanks, though. See ya later!”

“Good night!”

Spike went off his way, and I headed off mine. It was another quiet night in the streets of Ponyville, but thankfully, no mystery voice screamed in my ear about snakes on a rooftop. Otherwise, I might have collapsed from a heart attack, and I had enough near-ones from Pinkie popping up and surprising me. She was nowhere in sight, either, though.

Tuesday, March 5


***


Wednesday proved fairly uneventful, until early evening, when Moonlight came by so that we could finish our reading of Shadow Spade. She seemed in a very good mood when I let her in, even more so than usual.

“And what are you so smiley about, my friend?” I asked.

“Because I’ve finally arranged an evening for me and Almond to hang out!” she said, beaming.

“Oh! That’s great!” I said. “Congrats!”

“Thanks! We’re gonna meet up outside Sugarcube Corner on Friday and take a walk through Ponyville Park, then see where it goes from there.”

“Sounds like the perfect date,” I quipped, unable to resist this time.

“Oh, be quiet, you,” chided Moonlight, cuffing my hand, but her tone was more playful than angry. “What about you and your date with Pinkie Pie a month or so ago?”

Oooh, now that was a fine retort.

“‘Touché,” I said, approvingly. “I think Shadow Spade’s rubbed some of her wit off on you.”

“‘A lady does not mince words, nor does she waste them’,” said Moonlight, in a fine imitation of a lofty woman’s voice.

“Well said,” I said. “Well, shall we proceed?”

“By all means,” said Moonlight, smiling cheekily. “But I’m betting you that Mr. LeBronc’s not guilty at all.”

“Oh-ho, is that so?” I said, grinning. “Well, I’ll bet you that if he’s not the main culprit, he was at least complicit. There’s too much history between him and Madame Pennyfeather.”

“We’ll see,” said Moonlight.

Soon, the two of us were snuggled together on the couch, Shadow Spade open before us, right where we left off, and we were soon immersed once again in her world of mystery, suspense, and fabulous costumes.


***


“I knew it. I knew it!”

Moonlight was thumping the armrest on her side of the couch, a look of triumph on her face. I was feeling a bit sour myself. The book lay, finished, on the coffee table.

“You see?” said Moonlight, prodding my nose with her hoof. “I told you LeBronc was innocent! It was Weed Whacker the whole time!”

“All right, all right, don’t rub it in,” I said, gruffly.

“Aw, come on, I’m only teasing,” said Moonlight. “Don’t be such a grump. It’s not like you.”

She poked my side with her hoof. The tickle wiped the frown from my face in seconds.

“I know, I know,” I said. “I was just so sure it wouldn’t be Weed Whacker. I thought it would’ve been too obvious if it was him, seeing how openly antagonistic he was, but they managed to find a way to make it less obvious, and even a bit clever, when they kept finding new evidence that pointed away from him. It really threw me for a loop.”

“I know!” said Moonlight. “Like how Silver Kettle and Duster heard LeBronc threatening Madame Pennyfeather, but it was Weed Whacker mimicking him! That line about him once being an impressionist wasn’t just a throwaway after all!”

“And he knew playing on everypony’s suspicions about LeBronc’s past with Madame Pennyfeather would work in his favor,” I said. “It was well done, I have to admit.”

“It really was,” said Moonlight.

“But you’re one smart cookie, deducing how it was gonna go,” I said, belatedly returning the tickle she gave me with one of my own on her skinny belly, making her giggle.

“Aw, shucks,” she said, modestly. “I just thought there was more to it than the obvious answer.”

“Maybe you ought to write one of your own someday,” I suggested. “You’ve definitely got the thinking for it.”

Moonlight’s cheeks flushed. It was either bashfulness at my praise, or it was the fact that she was writing something, though I was still pretending I didn’t know what it was. I decided to change the subject.

“So, do you feel like we should continue with this series?”

“Oh, yes, absolutely!” said Moonlight, fervently. “It’s a nice change of pace from the action of Daring Do.”

“I agree,” I said. “I’ll ask Twilight for the next volume next chance I get, but don’t feel obligated to come back so soon for it. I wouldn’t want to make you spend too much time away from your new friend,” I added, slyly.

Moonlight said nothing, but the couch pillow she threw at my face was answer enough. However, her aim was off, and it sailed past me and bumped against the coat rack hanging on the wall. There was a sudden loud ‘*clunk*’ that made both of us jump.

“W-What was that?” Moonlight asked.

“No idea,” I said. “Maybe you just threw that pillow really hard.”

That seemed the only likely answer, so we just shrugged it off, though she quipped that if I didn’t want her aim to get better, I ought to drop the subject about her and Almond. That set us both laughing, and soon after, I walked her to the door and saw her on her way home. I was glad she couldn’t stay mad at me for teasing her, but I was genuinely interested to see where this budding friendship between her and Almond would go. It was a never-ending source of comfort and surprise to see how far this former shut-in had come since that fateful, stormy day.

“Let’s just hope the Crusaders don’t find out about them,” I said to myself. “The last thing we need, if Cheerilee’s story was true, is Moonlight drunk on love potion.”

Wednesday, March 6


***


The next day, I was taking a walk down the main street of Ponyville, when I heard a small commotion. A crowd of ponies had gathered by Daisy, Lily, and Rose’s flower stalls, talking excitedly about something. Craning my neck, I saw that at the center of the hubbub was Rarity. She was wearing a frock dress, of a purer white than her alabaster coat. It seemed such a simple dress at first glance, but when I looked closer, it appeared to give off a soft flow in the daylight. The effect was rather staggering.

The ponies around her were talking in animated admiration of her outfit, and she seemed to be drinking it all in with immense satisfaction. Daisy, who was now being helped up by Rose after an apparent fainting fit, handed Rarity a dozen daffodils. After thanking her and paying for the flowers, she moved on, the crowd still lingering to watch her go. Hastily, I stepped away, so that Rarity didn’t bump into me. Consequently, she caught sight of me.

“Hello, Dave,” she said. “Lovely day, isn’t it?”

“Not as lovely as you right now, Rarity,” I said, before I could stop myself.

I clapped a hand to my mouth, blushing. I hoped Spike hadn’t been around to hear that. Rarity, however, giggled.

“My goodness, Dave, you are such a flatterer,” she said. “But thank you. This is my latest seasonal piece: my Daffodil Days dress. It was a bit of a gamble, going for a simple white dress, but the secret is in the silk. Take a closer look, dear.”

She levitated a jeweler’s loupe in front of me. Curious, I lifted up my glasses, fitted the loupe against my right eye, and bent down to look. My jaw dropped. It looked a cluster of stars was twinkling on her dress.

“Are those diamonds?” I asked.

“Diamond dust, darling,” Rarity gently corrected. “Not ice, of course, but diamonds ground into a very fine powder. Just a splash, mind, so as not to overpower the natural appearance.”

“Wow,” I said, handing the loupe back to her and straightening up. “That’s incredible, and I’d just gotten finished reading about the time and attention Shadow Spade gives her outfits.”

At this, Rarity let out a delighted squeal.

“You’re reading Shadow Spade?” she asked, eagerly.

“Moonlight and I just finished the Pennyfeather case,” I said.

“Ohh, wonderful!” said Rarity. “Ever since Twilight introduced me to her books, I’ve been hooked for hours on end! I barely made one of my order deadlines because I was so wrapped up in one,” she confessed, with mild embarrassment. “But they’re just that good!” she added, zealously.

“They definitely make you think,” I said. “It certainly got Moonlight’s mind going. She’d hypothesized who the culprit was by the halfway point, before things got really twisted.”

“Sharp girl, Moonlight,” said Rarity, approvingly. “Well, I hope the two of you enjoy the rest of Shadow Spade’s adventures as much as I do.”

“After a first story like that, I’ll be eager to see it get even better,” I said.

Rarity smiled, then gave a start, as if she’d remembered something.

“Oh!” she said. “That’s right! I’d been meaning to see you about something, Dave.”

“What is it?” I asked.

“It’s not set in stone, mind,” said Rarity, “but I’m considering taking a trip to Manehattan next month, assuming Mother and Father aren’t afflicted with wanderlust again, and I would be very much delighted if you could come along with me.”

I could only blink in surprise at this for a few seconds.

“You want me to go to Manehattan with you?” I asked

“If all goes to plan, yes,” said Rarity. “I believe I’m right in assuming you’ve never visited the city before?”

“No, I haven’t,” I said. “One of my peers on the council’s from there, though, and he highly recommended it.”

“And so do I,” said Rarity, smiling. “So, do you think you’d be up to accompanying me?”

There could only be one answer for such an offer!

“Rarity,” I said, giving her a grand bow, “I would be deeply honored to. As long as nothing else crops up, count me in.”

“Splendid!” said Rarity, now positively beaming. “Now, I really must be off, but I’ll keep in touch if there’s any change of plans. Ta-ta, darling!”

“Bye, Rarity!”

With that, Rarity strode off with a light and graceful step in the direction of Carousel Boutique. As I went on my own way, delighted at the idea of seeing Manehattan at last, and with a good friend like Rarity alongside me, I couldn’t fail to notice that the ponies around the flower stall were still gushing about Rarity’s dress, and that there was quite a demand for daffodils going on.

Thursday, March 7


***


Around mid-afternoon the following day, I was taking another walk through Ponyville, where I saw that Daisy, Lily, and Rose had miraculously restocked on daffodils, when the rattle of wheels hit my ears. I turned, and saw Scootaloo barreling towards me on her scooter, her wagon trailing behind her, bearing the rest of my Crusader friends. She was coming so fast that I thought she was going to crash into me. I froze, cringing (not the smartest thing to do in the approach of a vehicle, admittedly), but the little pegasus spread out her wings, causing the foursome to slow down and come to a stop, right at my feet.

“Hi, Dave!” they said together.

“Hello, girls,” I said, relaxing. “Is school out already?”

I checked my watch. It was indeed some minutes past 3 already.

“Yep!” said Apple Bloom. “We came to find ya, cuz we’re headin’ over to Vinyl Scratch and Miss Octavia’s place!”

“Oh? Have they finished moving in?”

“Miss Octavia said they did, when Mama brought them their mail yesterday,” said Dinky.

“So we’re gonna visit them and get started on putting our concert together!” said Scootaloo.

“Does that mean you all know what you want to do?” I asked.

“Well,” said Apple Bloom, “not entirely.”

“I at least know what instrument I wanna play,” said Scootaloo, “just not what to play on it.”

“And I still don’t know what I want to sing,” said Dinky.

“But we’ve got tons of options to choose from,” said Sweetie Belle. “Look!”

With a slight effort, she held up a stack of papers in her hooves, and lifted one page in a sputtering magic aura to show me it was all sheet music.

“That does look like a lot,” I said. “I’ll be surprised if we all don’t find something we like in there.”

Sweetie Belle looked very pleased with herself.

“Well, ok, then, girls,” I said, “let’s get going!”

Scootaloo flapped her wings, and she and the Crusaders started off once more, much quicker than I had anticipated, leaving me behind.

“Hey!” I called. “Scoot! Wait for…”

Too late. She and the others were already out of sight. All I could do was sigh and hurry after them, wishing I had something like Scootaloo’s scooter that I could use to get around quicker.

“Nothing wrong with walking,” I muttered, “but this is ridiculous.”

Friday, March 8
> Concert Talk
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Eventually, I caught up with the Crusaders outside Vinyl and Octavia’s new place. They had already dismounted and were waiting by the door.

“What took you so long?” asked Scootaloo, completely genuine.

“Well,” I said, a bit dryly, “since I’m not a pegasus, and since I can’t teleport, all I have are my own two feet, and they can’t keep up with a skilled scooter driver.”

Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Dinky giggled.

“Ohh, right,” said Scootaloo, looking a little meek. “Sorry. Didn’t mean to leave you in the dust like that.”

“It’s fine,” I said.

“You need your own scooter!” Dinky suggested. “I know somepony who could make you one, if you want.”

“Ooh!” said Scootaloo, keenly. “Yeah, that’d be awesome! I mean, I’d never trade in my trusty scooter, but there’s some awesome ones that I’ve seen in the shop, like the Zipwing 260! Super-speedy and with great traction, but the steering’s kinda ehh. Now, if you want something safer, there’s the Cloud 9: reliable, sturdy, and takes you where you wanna go.”

“Thanks for that, Scoot,” I said, grinning, before turning to Dinky. “That’s sweet of you to offer, Dinky, but you don’t have to do that.”

“I know I don’t have to,” said Dinky, innocently, “but now I kinda want to.”

Before anything more could be said, Apple Bloom approached the front door and knocked.

“Come in!” came Octavia’s muffled voice from inside.

I stepped forward, turned the knob, and let the girls go in first before I followed.

The split in design that I had seen from the outside had carried on into the interior. One side was prim and comfortably decorated, with hanging pictures, armchairs, a coffee table, and a sofa, while the other had a more careless, casual look to it, with a mini-fridge and a beanbag chair. It also helped to determine whose side was whose by the cello and music stand laid with care on one side, and the turntable and speakers having pride of place on the other. The Crusaders and I looked around at all this with great interest.

“Yo, D-man!” came Vinyl’s voice.

A doorway leading to a staircase was at the back, smack-dab in the center of the split, like a neutral zone. Vinyl stepped through it with an energetic step, reared up, and mussed my hair in a playful way.

“Good to see ya, bro,” she said, before turning to the fillies. “What’s up, half-pints? Gimme some hoof!”

She raised her hoof, and all four managed a simultaneous high-five with her.

“Welcome to our casa,” she said, proudly, turning around with her forelegs spread wide, as though she were displaying a magnificent art gallery or the like. “Tavi really lucked out in finding this place, huh?”

“I’ll say,” I said. “It’s like it was built for you and your separate tastes.”

“Real coinky-dink, am I right?” asked Vinyl. “You should check out the kitchen! I tricked out the dishwasher!”

“Yes, wonders never cease when you’re involved,” came another voice.

Octavia stepped out of a door leading off of her side, smiling graciously at the sight of us. A tea tray was perched atop her back, balanced perfectly in spite of the weight of cups, saucers, a teapot, and a plate of cakes.

“Hello, Dave, girls.”

“Hello, Octavia.”

“Hi, Miss Octavia!” chorused the girls.

“Here, let me,” said Vinyl.

Her horn glowed, and the tray lifted up off of Octavia’s back, the contents clattering about dangerously.

“Vinyl” said Octavia, both annoyed and anxious. “Please, it’s fine! I had it perfectly-”

“Up-bup-bup,” said Vinyl, holding up a hoof to silence her. “It’s no trouble. Leave it to me.”

She steered the tray onto the coffee table and set it down with a clunk, sending the cups scattering, and I thought I even saw some tea splash out from beneath the teapot’s lid. Octavia sighed, walked over, and righted the cups.

“Thank you, Vinyl,” she said, patiently. “That was quite...thoughtful of you.”

“Anytime, Tavi,” said Vinyl, proudly. “Gotta make a good impression on our company, after all. How would it be if the first guests we had since settling down saw you dump a whole tea tray, just ‘cuz you didn’t wanna put me out by asking me to help?”

Octavia tutted impatiently and rolled her eyes, while the fillies giggled.

“Make yourselves comfortable, dears,” she said, turning back to us.

I took a seat in one of the armchairs, while the Crusaders piled up onto the sofa. Vinyl used her magic to drag the beanbag chair over and plopped herself down in it, earning a look from Octavia, who, after handing out cups of tea for us, settled herself more sedately in the other armchair.

“I hope this isn’t too soon to call on you for help,” I said, taking a sip. “You only just moved in, after all.”

“Not at all, not at all,” said Octavia, waving her hoof airily. “The move itself went rather quickly. It helps when you’re friends with a unicorn, albeit a lazy one. Even so, I was surprised at how quickly Vinyl hopped to.”

“Hey, I just wanted to get outta there and into this new place,” said Vinyl, helping herself to a cake. “Besides, I can be proactive.”

“Only when it suits your interests,” Octavia quipped.

Vinyl simply stuck out her tongue before taking a bite.

“So, then,” Octavia went on, “you wish for us to assist you in this amateur concert you’re putting on?”

The five of us nodded.

“As ponies who would know a thing or two about performing for live audiences, who better to ask?” I said.

“Well, lemme tell ya somethin’ up front, D-dude,” said Vinyl, after cramming the rest of her cake in her mouth and swallowing. “It’s not as simple as standing in front of a crowd and playing a few notes or humming a bar or two. Tavi and I make it look easy, but trust me, it’s more complicated than it looks.”

She took a huge swig of tea. Octavia raised an eyebrow.

“You’ll scald your throat if you drink your tea like that, Vinyl,” she said, reproachfully.

“No worries,” said Vinyl, casually, tapping the side of her own neck. “Chords of steel, babe.”

That statement just gave me the image of Vinyl standing in a courtroom in a red suit, shouting ‘I’m fine!’ and staring down people with bugged-out eyes. The fillies looked impressed, while Octavia rolled her eyes

“Much as it surprises me to have to admit it, Vinyl’s right,” she said. “Putting on a show means choosing the right venue, selecting the right talent, and putting on the right performance. Do you know where you’re going to perform?”

“Well,” said Apple Bloom, “Ah thought we could host it at Ponyville Park. Plenty of room to set up a stage and have a big audience.”

“Sounds good to me,” I said, and Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and Dinky nodded their agreement.

“Splendid,” said Octavia. “Next, do you know who will be performing?”

“All five of us, of course,” said Scootaloo, proudly.

“Um, not all of us,” Sweetie Belle corrected. “I’m not really comfortable singing in front of an audience. I mean, I did, kinda, when we performed in the talent show, but the girls were singing with me. I don’t wanna be up there all by myself. I’d much rather help out behind the scenes.”

“That’s fine, dear,” said Octavia, kindly. “After all, it isn’t just the performers who are the most important in a production.”

“Yeah,” said Vinyl, putting her forelegs behind her head and crossing her hind legs. “There’s all kinds of ponies who wait in the wings in case a performer screws up. Of course, Tavi’s way too much of a perfectionist to even let the remote possibility of a mistake happen on stage. She’d go ballistic if one of her cello strings was even slightly out of tune.”

The fillies giggled. Octavia shot Vinyl a sharp look.

“Whaaat?” asked Vinyl, shrugging defensively. “I was complimenting you.”

“You have a very odd way of paying ponies compliments, Vinyl,” said Octavia, dryly.

Vinyl made a dismissive noise.

“But, again, she has a point,” Octavia went on. “It helps to have ponies on-hoof backstage to help with any problems. For instance, my dear friend Beauty Brass plays the sousaphone in my ensemble, and she used to have trouble slipping it on and off again by herself. She has to wear it around her middle, and it’s not very easy for an Earth pony unless you’re particularly dexterous, so we’d often have to have a stagehoof help her with it.”

Oof. That sounded uncomfortable.

“But it’s almost second-nature for her now,” said Octavia. “She just has to be careful not to have too heavy of a meal before a performance, or her sousaphone won’t fit over her stomach at all. She also tends to be rather deaf for an hour or so after a performance. You’d be, too, if you were playing a loud instrument right by your own ear. Bless her.”

She chuckled good-naturedly, so it felt safe to join her. She then cleared her throat,

“But, dear me, we seem to be straying off topic,” she said. “Who else do you know who’s performing?”

My four filly friends shot each other funny looks before Apple Bloom said,

“Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon said they wanted to take part, after talkin’ with Dave. We weren’t quite sure what to make of it, but we couldn’t exactly say no.”

“We wondered if they were only signing up to make a mess of things,” said Scootaloo, darkly. “It’d be just like them.”

“They weren’t very polite about it, either,” said Dinky, pouting. “They said we ‘could use the talent’, like we didn’t have too much ourselves.”

All four of them looked troubled and suspicious. I well remembered Diamond Tiara’s condescending and airy speech about possibly taking part, though I also remembered the friendly smile Silver Spoon had given me when they left. Perhaps, if there was foul play at work, Silver Spoon at least might be able to talk sense into her friend.

“Let’s not worry about that, now,” I said. “We’ll just have to make sure there’s no room for funny business or potential sabotage.”

“That’s the spirit,” said Vinyl. “That’s another thing to watch out for: unpleasant performers. I remember doing a joint-session with another DJ once. He was a really arrogant jerk who thought he knew my job better than I did, kept shooting me ‘tips’ and ‘hints’. He even had the gall to wear these really gaudy sunglasses during the show, just to look extra flashy. It was all I could do not to punch his lights out.”

I gave her a funny look that she didn’t seem to notice, one mirrored by Octavia. It was a bit rich for Vinyl to be talking about wearing flashy sunglasses, when hers seemed practically glued to her snout.

“Anypony else?” Octavia asked the girls.

“Well, we haven’t been getting a lot of sign-ups,” said Sweetie Belle, “but my sister Rarity seemed interested. She said she’d have to ‘discuss it with a few ponies’, but she didn’t really say what she meant.”

“And Pinkie Pie said she wanted to join, too,” said Dinky. “Something about ‘breaking out the old gang for another show’.”

I raised a puzzled eyebrow at this. What could Pinkie have meant by that?

“So, that makes at least 7 performers, potentially 8,” said Octavia, thoughtfully. “That’s a good number for a live amateur concert. What sort of music do you intend to perform?”

“We know what instruments we wanna play,” said Apple Bloom. “Ah’m gonna do a harmonica piece.”

“I’ll be on the piano,” I said.

“I’m gonna sing,” said Dinky, proudly.

“And I’ll be on the drums!” said Scootaloo, with zeal.

The drums? I hadn’t really considered that. I looked at the others, who were looking mildly skeptical or uncertain, but Scoot didn’t seem to notice.

“Sounds like an intriguing and diverse variety,” said Octavia, approvingly.

“We just don’t know what songs we wanna play yet,” said Scootaloo.

“I found a whole bunch to choose from, though!” Sweetie Belle piped up.

With obvious effort, she lifted up and dumped the load of music papers down onto the table, making the tray and its content rattle. Octavia winced slightly. Vinyl looked unfazed. Swallowing another cake and wiping her mouth on the back of her hoof, she lifted the sheets in her magic and floated them over to herself, flipping through them as they floated before her sunglassed eyes.

“Hmmm! Not a bad variety, kiddo,” she said. “Classical, rock, jazz, folk, polka, blues...”

“I didn’t know what everypony’s favorite genre was,” said Sweetie Belle, “so I kinda took my pick from each one I could find.”

“Keeping options open,” said Vinyl, approvingly. “I like the way you think, Sweetie B.”

Sweetie Belle beamed at this praise.

“Well,” said Octavia, “what I would do is update your promotional material with a deadline for submissions, perhaps a week or so from printing. Once we have a firm understanding of how many ponies are performing, we can begin making preparations for a final concert date and setting up a proper stage.”

“That won’t be a problem,” said Scootaloo. “I’m sure Featherweight’ll let us print out our flyers again in the Foal Free Press office.”

“In the meantime,” Octavia went on, “I suggest giving serious consideration about what you want to perform. You don’t want to choose a song, confident that it’s what you want to play, only to change your mind at the last minute. Even the best performers may doom their shows with overconfidence and lack of forethought.”

Now that was a sobering thought, and the others seemed to think so, too. They traded apprehensive looks with each other and me.

“Ah guess we can keep this sheet music at the clubhouse,” said Apple Bloom, “so we can all come by and choose somethin’ if we can’t decide right away.”

“Sounds good,” I said, and the others nodded, Octavia and Vinyl looking satisfied as well.

From there, the visit became much more casual and pleasant. The cakes Octavia had prepared certainly didn’t go to waste, thanks to Vinyl and the fillies, but I managed to snag one before they disappeared; they were quite delicious. Upon request from Dinky, Octavia graced us with a song or two on her cello. As she played, I noticed that Sweetie Belle seemed to appreciate it just as much as I did. Her eyes were closed, a smile was on her face, and she seemed to be drinking in every note. I knew just how she felt; it was wonderful. When Octavia finished, we all applauded her.

“Classic,” said Vinyl, approvingly, and Octavia smiled at her. “But take a listen to this, everyone.”

Brushing cake crumbs off her fur, Vinyl hopped up and went behind her turntable.

“Oh dear,” Octavia muttered.

With a flare of her horn and a flick of a switch, Vinyl showed off one of her latest mixes. At full blast. The whole house seemed to rock with it, and everything that wasn’t bolted down quivered in its place. My eardrums were pounding by the end, and the bass made me feel like I was having palpitations. My fellow Crusaders looked equally discombobulated, except Scootaloo; she hardly seemed fazed, and was grinning, in fact. Octavia herself seemed more annoyed than disoriented, but Vinyl seemed utterly pleased with herself. We applauded her all the same.

“It’s a catchy piece of ...sound, Vinyl,” she said, dryly, “but one you ought to reserve for your club if you’re going to set the volume that high.”

“Hey, you know me, babe,” said Vinyl, proudly, “It’s whole hog or not at all. I don’t do anything halfway.”

“Unfortunately, I know,” said Octavia. “And don’t call me ‘babe’.”


***


The sun was beginning to set by the time we decided it was time to head for home, filling the sky with a beautiful myriad of fiery colors that tinted the clouds as well. I told the Crusaders that they didn’t have to wait for me, as I was gonna stay back to talk with Vinyl and Octavia. Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Dinky piled up into the wagon, Sweetie Belle trying to keep a hold on her stack of music sheets. I could see her trying to put a magic aura around it, but it was still a bit shaky.

“You going to be all right, Sweetie Belle?” I asked.

“Yep, don’t worry,” said Sweetie Belle, smiling. “Between the three of us, we’ve got it.”

“As long as Scootaloo doesn’t hit another pothole,” said Dinky.

Scootaloo scowled.

“That only happened once, and it came outta nowhere,” she said, grumpily, as she jammed her helmet onto her head and got on her scooter.

She cheered up, though, as all four fillies bid Vinyl and Octavia goodbye, thanking them for the afternoon, and giving me a ‘see you later’ as well. Soon, the foursome were off, the stack of music wobbling dangerously in the wagon. I turned to the two music ponies, who were watching the Crusaders go with smiles on their faces.

“Such lively and sweet little dears, aren’t they?” asked Octavia.

“Good kids, those little squirts,” said Vinyl, nodding.

“Yeah,” I said. “They’re such bright and eager fillies. It baffles me how they don’t have their cutie marks yet.”

“Are they hoping to earn one by this concert?” Octavia asked.

“Well, more or less,” I said, a little awkwardly.

I teetered on the point of telling them they expected me to get a cutie mark as well, but I decided against it. I felt it would just make things even more awkward.

“But, really, thanks for offering to help us with this,” I said, sincerely. “It means a lot.”

“Of course, bro,” said Vinyl, nudging me on the arm. “No problem.”

“Anything for a friend,” said Octavia, patting me on the hand. “When you’ve got a final roster for submissions by the deadline, let us know, and we’ll start brainstorming in earnest.”

“You bet,” I said. “And hey, you’re both welcome at my place anytime, if you want to stop by.”

“Why, thank you,” said Octavia. “I’ll be sure to take you up on such a generous offer in the near future.”

“And it’s not so cold, so there’s not as big a chance of you waking up to find one of us in your bed with you,” said Vinyl, cheekily, making me blush.

“Vinyl!” Octavia scolded.

“Just kidding, Tavi,” said Vinyl, shrugging.

Octavia sighed and shook her head.

“Well, have a good night, you two,” I said, recovering myself.

“And you,” said Octavia, smiling.

“Take it easy, D-man,” said Vinyl, grinning.

With that, I took my leave, and the two musical ponies went back into the house. Even if we were still a ways from having everything ready or set in stone, it felt good to have made some progress. I wondered who else might sign up before the deadline.

As I was walking, I caught sight of something that made me pause. Off in the distance, I could see two ponies walking side by side, deep in conversation. A second later, I realized that it was Moonlight and Almond. I ducked behind a tree, hoping they didn’t spot me, and I watched as they walked off towards the park. Moonlight was positively beaming, her pale cheeks rosy, a noticeable spring in her gait. I could even hear a snatch of what she was telling Almond.

“...Didn’t realize until I looked again that Pinkie had swapped the chocolate chip cookies with the oatmeal raisin! We all had a good laugh about it, though.”

“It sounds like every day working with Pinkie Pie’s an adventure,” said Almond, grinning.

“That’s one way to put it,” said Moonlight, giggling.

I watched them until they were out of sight. It made my heart feel pleasantly warm and light to see Moonlight looking so happy and chatting so animatedly. Her circle of friends was certainly expanding nicely, a far cry from the shut-in she used to be. With a smile in their direction, I continued on towards home.

Friday, March 8


***


I took a walk over to the Crusaders clubhouse the next day. I figured I might as well get a start on choosing a song for the concert. Like Octavia said, it wouldn’t do to pick a song I wasn’t going to use at the last minute. I’d had close shaves with that kind of indecisiveness and procrastination back in school, when I was choosing subjects for a research paper. I wasn’t keen on repeating that mistake.

I half-expected to find the others hanging around the clubhouse, but it was empty. The mass of music sheets Sweetie Belle had collected was sitting on the table, except it wasn’t one giant teetering stack anymore. It had been separated into several smaller piles. I walked over and looked at the top sheet of each. They seemed to have been divided by genre. Well, that made things much easier.

Now, the only question was, what song did I want to play? Well, preferably, something lighthearted, perhaps even comical, maybe even something with a heartfelt touch to it. I leafed through the piles. Familiar titles sprang up at me: ‘Piano Mare’, ‘Shipoopi’, ‘I’m Still Standing’, ‘Somewhere Out There’, and ‘The Entertainer’, among others.

I decided to grab these ones first, just to practice on, and hoping the others hadn’t had their hearts set on them first. I wouldn’t want to deprive them of music they wanted to play. Then, making sure the piles still looked neat and tidy, I headed off.


***


I was just returning to the house when I saw Moonlight emerge from hers. The smile on her face told me that she was still in a good mood from her evening with Almond last night. She turned and spied me.

“Hello, Dave!” she said, brightly.

“Hello, Moonlight,” I said. “Fun night last night?”

“Oh, yes,” said Moonlight, blissfully. “Almond and I went to the park for a nighttime walk. I think that’s what I said we planned, right?”

“I think so,” I said.

“Well, the way there was just as enjoyable. The sunset was just gorgeous. It made all the leaves on the trees shimmer.”

“I saw it too,” I said. “It was one of those that has all kinds of colors to it.”

“Mm-hmm,” said Moonlight, happily.

“So, what’s Almond like?” I asked.

“A lot chattier than I would’ve thought, when he was acting so shy at Sugarcube Corner,” said Moonlight. “But he has a lot of neat stories to tell. Barnyard Bargains gets some interesting customers, and he’s full of anecdotes about them.”

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. I think you’d really like him.”

“Well, that’s good to hear,” I said. “So, do you have any more plans set?”

“Not right now, but hopefully soon,” said Moonlight.

She sighed happily, her expression dreamy. I smiled.

“He really makes you happy, doesn’t he?” I asked.

She nodded, then seemed to come out of her little reverie.

“But, in the meantime,” she said, “we can still read more Shadow Spade if you want.”

“Of course!” I said. “I’ll probably return the last one and grab the next when I go see Twilight on Monday.”

“I’ll do it,” said Moonlight. “I haven’t visited Twilight in a while, and it’ll be good to catch up with her. I’ll even pick the next book for us to read, as a surprise.”

“Well, now, that sounds like a sweet deal,” I said, approvingly. “Wait here, then.”

I headed inside, set the sheet music on top of the piano, grabbed the copy of Shadow Spade still sitting on my coffee table, then returned to Moonlight, handing it to her.

“I’ll ask Twilight what the next best one is, after this one,” she said, as she tucked the book under her wing. “What were you carrying before, by the way?”

“Music,” I said. “Sweetie Belle picked up some random songs for us to practice for the concert.”

“Oh!” said Moonlight, interested. “Do you know when it’s going to happen?”

“Not yet,” I said. “I think the girls are going to print up updated flyers with a deadline for submissions. After that, we’ll work out the finer details of when we’re holding it.”

“Sounds good,” said Moonlight. “I can’t wait to see you all perform. I know it’s going to be great.”

We shared a smile, and Moonlight trotted off for Ponyville, the book clasped tightly to her skinny side with her wing, as I headed back inside.


***


I spent the rest of the afternoon testing out the songs I’d picked up, in the hopes of narrowing down which would be the best candidate for the concert. It wasn’t easy, especially since, at the moment, I wasn’t sure which would go over best with our potential audience. What if what I played bored them, or fell short of their expectations of me? I didn’t want to think about it, but I half-wondered if they were expecting some big, grand, chart-topping performance from someone who was now a member of the royal court. The thought unnerved me a little.

Just before I was thinking about taking a break around 4 o’clock, there was a knock on the door. I got up and opened it, and saw Scootaloo hovering at my eye level, grinning and holding a sheet of paper in her hooves.

“Hi, Dave!”

“Hey there, Scoot,” I said. “What’s up?”

“We stopped by the Foal Free Press’s printing office, and Featherweight and Shady Daze let us reprint our revised flyer. It took most of the day to redraw it, but I think it looks a lot better! Take a look!”

She handed the one in her hooves to me. It looked much the same as the first edition, except that the Crusaders and I had been added to it onstage, in convincing likeness: me sitting at the piano, Scootaloo banging on a pair of bongo drums, Apple Bloom playing the harmonica, Dinky singing (complete with a speech bubble containing musical notes coming from her mouth), and Sweetie Belle standing by with a clipboard. At the bottom of the flyer, a new line of text had been added, reading:

“Deadline for Submissions: Friday, March 15”

“It looks great,” I said, honestly. “Did you draw this yourself?”

“Heh, yep,” said Scootaloo, proudly. “I sometimes doodle when I’m bored in class, and I love when we get any assignment that asks for illustrations.”

Heh. I knew that feeling, sure enough. I was a doodler when I was in school, though it was usually only in lulls between lessons, especially after I’d gotten a few reprimands for doing it during.

“You on your way to hand them out, then?” I asked.

“Uh-huh,” said Scootaloo. “Dinky and I are on delivery duty, and we’re gonna paste these on every door, wall, and lamp post we can, until we run out! We’ve got plenty to go around!”

I looked past her outside. The Crusaders’ wagon was sitting in the grass, coupled again to Scootaloo’s scooter. Dinky was sitting in it, helmeted and accompanied by more flyers and a big roll of blue painter’s tape. She beamed and waved at me, and I waved back, grinning.

“Well, sounds like you’ve got a lot to do,” I said. “I don’t wanna keep you, so thanks for letting me know.”

“No problem,” said Scootaloo. “See ya later!”

She flew back to her scooter, plunked her helmet on, and flapped her wings hard, sending the scooter and wagon off with a jolt. Dinky had to place her hooves atop the stack of flyers to keep them from flying away after the sudden burst of speed.

“Not so hard, Scoot!” she cried.

“Sorry,” said Scootaloo, “but time’s bits, little sis!”

“But we’re not making money for odd jobs anymore.”

“You know what I mean.”

I watched them go, both bemused and amused.

(Just watch out for potholes, Scoot,), I thought, before going back inside.

Saturday, March 9
> Time with Twilight
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sunday dawned cool and cloudy. It looked like we were in for another rainy day, though thankfully, it didn’t look like it’d be another thunderstorm. I guess I could’ve checked the weather schedule I’d gotten with the news, but I was so used to it being wrong back home, that ignoring the forecast and guessing were pretty much habit. When I heard the familiar knock at the door, indicating that it was time for my weekly visit, I opened it up to see Cirrus and Nimbus standing outside.

“Hello, Dave,” they both said.

“Hello,” I said. “How are you both doing?”

“Pretty well,” said Cirrus. “Pretty busy, too.”

“We’ve been all over the place,” said Nimbus. “On the minister’s orders, of course. We just flew in from Canterlot, and boy, are our wings tired.”

“Oh,” I said, sympathetically. “I’m sorry to add additional work to your plates.”

“Nah, think nothing of it,” said Nimbus, good-naturedly. “We’re not complaining. We like keeping busy.”

“Which is to say,” said Cirrus, winking, “Ironmane likes keeping us busy. He thinks it’ll keep us out of trouble.”

I would’ve asked if it had worked, but thought it might sound accusatory or rude, so I said nothing.

“Besides,” Cirrus went on, “this job gives us a chance to stretch our wings and see Ponyville, which is always welcome. It’s a lot friendlier here than in Canterlot. Up there, there’s too many ponies with sticks up their rumps.”

“And no sense of humor,” Nimbus chimed in.

“Well,” I said, delicately, “I’m only saying this as someone whose only had a few short stays in Canterlot, but I haven’t found it too bad. Then again, I’ve only rubbed elbows with fellow peers and the princesses there, so I’m not as well-acquainted with Canterlot society as you two.”

“Don't worry about it, Dave,” said Cirrus. “Consider it a narrow escape. Why, the number of stories we could tell, but we don’t have time to stick around and recount any today.”

“We’d love to, but we’ve got other places to be and things to do,” said Nimbus. “And besides, it wouldn’t do to hang around when it’s scheduled to rain.”

“Oh, no, I understand,” I said. “I wouldn’t want to hold you guys up on any account. But whenever you guys have any downtime, I’d be more than glad to welcome you in for a chat.”

“See, Dave, that’s why you’re such a stand-up guy,” said Cirrus. “You’ve always got your mind on other ponies’ needs.”

“Instead of only caring about what’s good for you,” said Nimbus.

“Shucks,” I said, modestly. “It’s just how I was brought up.”

“Well, in any case,” said Cirrus, “here’s your dues.”

And he handed over the usual hefty bag of bits.

“As for news,” said Nimbus, “has anypony told you about the gem pocket that was uncovered for the Lounge?”

“Prince Shining Armor did,” I said. “It sounds like great news. The Lounge should never want for anything now.”

“Minister Ironmane certainly hopes so,” said Cirrus. “He takes a keen interest in the Lounge, almost as much as Gilli Brutus.”

“Not surprising,” said Nimbus, “considering he-”

At this, Cirrus shot him a sharp look, and Nimbus stopped abruptly, looking tight-lipped. I stared from one to the other, puzzled.

“Considering he’s Minister of Foreign Affairs,” Nimbus said, in an offhand tone. “He doesn’t want us to lose our peace with the dragons.”

“He’s very adamant about that,” said Cirrus, nodding.

I didn’t say anything, but I wasn’t entirely convinced that that was what Nimbus had been about to say.

“Well, sorry to bolt, Dave, but we really need to be off,” said Cirrus. “We want to beat those showers.”

“The last thing Ironmane wants is messengers dripping on his office rug,” said Nimbus.

“All right,” I said. “I’ll see you both next time. Stay dry.”

Cirrus and Nimbus gave me a cheery salute with their wings, then took off. I watched them go with a mounting feeling of puzzlement. What had Nimbus really been about to say? It wasn’t surprising that Ironmane would take a keen interest in the Lounge, considering...what? It could very well be that he was just concerned for relations with the dragons, but then why would Cirrus have shut Nimbus up like that? No, there was something more to this, but for the life of me, I couldn’t think what it was.

“I can’t just ask him himself,” I said to myself as I went back inside. “If Cirrus and Nimbus wouldn’t say, he’d be the last pony to ask about it, even if things are better between us. Maybe those two are just pulling another joke on me. That’s definitely a possibility.”

In the end, I decided to just let the matter drop until something else cropped up to add fuel to my suspicions. After all, Shadow Spade herself once said, in the book Moonlight and I had finished, ‘Evidence is everything: it makes the difference between deductive reasoning and making mountains of molehills’.


***


An hour or so after, the rain came. As I expected, it wasn’t a monsoon-worthy, Hundred-Acre Wood-flooding downpour, with thunder and lightning to go with it, but a light, continuous drizzle. It was lucky that it wasn’t a storm, or else I’d have been worried for Moonlight. I well remembered the terror in her eyes and voice that first day, when the thunder struck.

Speaking of Moonlight, I was half-expecting her to drop by with the next Shadow Spade novel, even as I sat down to the piano to practice. However, there was no sign of my pegasus friend. Perhaps she had sensibly decided to stay inside, even if our houses were close to each other. Maybe she’d been given a good opportunity to continue her unfinished story, with the rain pattering the windows providing a nice backdrop. She might also be cloistered somewhere safe and dry with Almond, ignorant of the inclement weather as they spent time together. 

There were any number of possibilities, each equally likely, and it wasn’t my business to pry into which it was. Wherever my young friend was, I was sure she was fine. With the leaps and bounds she has been making in building up her confidence, she didn’t need me constantly chaperoning her like a concerned parent.

As I thus mused, I looked out the window, and saw an unusual sight. Screwball was lounging on a lawn chair not too far away, wearing 3D glasses and a one-piece swimsuit that looked more like a Magic Eye picture, and holding a tanning mirror, while the raindrops continued to fall about her. For the moment, I forgot about my quiet friend’s disregard of the laws of physics, and wondered what on Earth would compel her to attempt to sunbathe in the rain. Granted, it was rather tame compared to some of the other things I had seen her do, but it was very bizarre. 

Then I realized that the drops weren’t hitting her at all. As they came down, there was an entire clear space devoid of rain, keeping her in view. It was as though some kind of invisible barrier was protecting her. Not just that, but a single beam of sunlight, through a rent in the clouds, was shining down on her. Was that a part of her unusual powers, or was she on good terms with the weather team?

She seemed to notice that I was watching her, as she looked my way, lifted up her glasses, then waved to me with a cheery smile. What could I do but smile and wave back? She slid her glasses back in place and settled back into her former posture.

“She’s a sweet pony,” I said to myself, “and I know she means well, but I don’t think I’ll ever understand how she does what she does.”

Sunday, March 10


***


On Monday, after lunch, I presented myself at the library and knocked. A few seconds later, the door opened, and there stood Spike, with the punctuality of a valet, but much more casual than one.

“Hiya, Dave,” he said.

“Hello, Spike. Is Twi in?”

“Yep. She’s been expecting you for a while now. Come on in.”

He stepped aside, and I stepped inside. The table that I knew so well was already littered with papers and writing implements. Twilight sat at one end, feverishly putting everything in order. To be specific, she was arranging quills, and I saw with a leap of pleasant recognition that they were from the set I had gotten her for Hearth’s Warming. She looked up as I approached.

“Hello, Dave!” she said, brightly.

“Hiya, Twi,” I said. “Had a good time boning up on dragons?”

“Oh, absolutely!” said Twilight, enthusiastically. “There’s something so fulfilling about finally learning about a culture that’s been shrouded in mystery for so long.”

“I agree,” I said, “even if I haven’t lived in Equestria long enough to appreciate it as much as you.”

“I even had Spike read it with me,” said Twilight. “Ever since his little adventure with Garble and his gang, he’s been rather reluctant to learn more about dragons, and would rather stick to the pony way of life.”

I looked over at Spike, who rubbed the back of his head sheepishly.

“Understandable,” I said.

“But ever since he met Gilli Brutus, he’s started coming around to wanting to know more, so when I invited him to learn with me, he took me up on the offer.”

“Is that right?” I asked.

“Yeah,” said Spike. “I know it’s kinda weird to say, but I’ve never been overly proud of being a dragon, not after I saw the kinds of jerks we can grow up into.”

“Even though there are plenty of ponies who aren’t exactly nice, as I told him,” said Twilight.

“Every species has its model citizens and its misanthropes, little buddy,” I said. “I’d often felt like the only one who actually cared about school in my class. You’re not alone in feeling like the odd one out.”

“I know,” said Spike. “But Brutus told me more about dragons than I ever thought there was. He said we’re a proud race ‘as tough as stone and as old as time’, and that there was more to us than guarding treasure. He’s made me feel a lot better about what happened during the Migration I joined.”

“Well, that’s great,” I said. “I’m glad you’re feeling a little more patriotic towards your fellow dragons.”

“So am I,” said Twilight, smiling at her little dragon pal before turning back to me. “Well, then, Dave, shall we get started?”

“Absolutely,” I said.

Twilight and I sat down at the table, while Spike went to another corner, took out a comic book, and started to read. Twilight roved her eyes over the quills set out again, scrutinized them closely, then set about swapping them around again. She caught sight of my raised eyebrow at this behavior, and said,

“I’ve been using several methods to organize these quills ever since you got them for me. Sometimes I feel like putting them in order by the size of the quills themselves, then by the size of the bird they came from, then by the birds in alphabetical order.”

“Does any one of them write better than the others?” I asked.

“Oh, no,” said Twilight, brightly. “That’s what makes Davenport’s quills so much sought-after. He hones them to writing perfection, so that you can do as well with one as with another. The fancy ones are more for aesthetic purposes, and of course are more expensive, but they add an impressive visual appeal to be seen writing with one, don’t you think?”

“Er, sure,” I said, not entirely sure what to think. “Well, in any case, I’m glad you’re putting them to good use. I have my pen and ink here with me,” I added, bringing them out.

“Good, good,” said Twilight, “but it never hurts to be prepared, hence the quills.”

“Right,” I said.

And on that note, with my pen in hand and with Twi next to me, the two of us got started.


***


“‘...And while dragons do not possess holidays in the traditional sense, they do have the Feast of Fire in the winter, a gathering of dragons to promote togetherness and creativity, yet with an undertone of habitual draconic competitiveness. Dragons sit together to tell stories, and the best storyteller is awarded a substantial supply of gemstones for his or her personal use. It has been observed that many of the award-winning stories are those involving pacifistic creatures receiving an unhappy ending…’”

“I still can’t get over that,” I said, pausing to rest my hand for a bit. “I’m not trying to criticize dragon standards, but I could never abide stories like that. If someone lives miserably ever after, they ought to have deserved it.”

“I agree,” said Twilight, grimly. “I found that rather surprising as well, but it’s the dragons’ way, I suppose.”

“Brutus told me about one of the winning stories,” said Spike, looking up from his comic. “About a sick dragon nursed back to health by some friendly forest critters, only for him to burn the forest to cinders and drive the critters away when he got better.”

“Yikes,” I muttered.

“I know,” said Spike. “I think he honestly expected me to enjoy it, so I just smiled and nodded.”

“Good call,” I said, before turning back to the assignment. “So, where were we?”

“Well, after describing the Feast of Fire, since its at the end of the year,” said Twilight, “I’d wrap it up by describing how the dragons bring in the new year, with a tournament to see which had grown the strongest over the course of the previous year.”

“All right,” I said, dipping my pen again and starting anew. “‘At the end of each year in the Dragonlands…’”


***


“‘...No one can deny that after years of unrest between dragonkind and other races, and with the opening of the Brimstone Lounge on the borders between Equestria and the Dragonlands, all welcome the chance of finally being able to learn the rich and fascinating history of the dragons.’”

I set my pen down with a sigh of relief. Twilight picked up the essay in her magic, flipping through it quite rapidly, though I didn’t doubt not a single word escaped her. When she reached the end, she shifted the pages into a neat stack, beaming.

“Excellent, Dave,” she said. “You’ve gotten so much better with this. I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks, Twilight,” I said, “but it’s only because you’re here guiding me. I’ll always be grateful for that.”

I drew an arm around her and pulled her in for a side-hug, and she gratefully nuzzled my cheek. I truly was lucky to have a friend like her, as lucky as I was to have a friend like Pinkie, or Moonlight, or any of these ponies.

“So, is your schedule all packed now that this is over?” I asked, when we pulled apart. 

“What do you mean?” asked Twilight.

“I kinda hoped we could unwind a little afterwards, just the three of us.”

Spike looked over at the sound of ‘three of us’. Twilight smiled.

“I do have some time to spare, as a matter of fact,” she said. “And, in fact, I did prepare a little after-work treat.”

“Did you now?” I asked, raising an interested eyebrow.

“Mm-hmm. Spike, could I ask you to get the cocoa started for us?”

“You bet!” said Spike, eagerly.

He hopped up from his seat and hurried off to the kitchen. At just that moment, there was a knock at the door, stopping the little dragon in his tracks. Twilight got up and opened it with her magic, revealing a beaming Pinkie, holding a box held in her teeth by a packing string. She gave it a fling, and Twilight caught it, at the same time levitating a hoofful of bits to Pinkie, who received them in a saddlebag at her side.

“Thanks, Pinkie,” said Twilight. “You’re right on time.”

“No problem, Twilight,” said Pinkie. “When Sugarcube Corner delivers, we’re never too early or too late, but right on time when your tummy needs it. Hi, Davie!” she added, waving at me.

“Hey, Pinkie,” I said, waving back.

“Well, enjoy!” said Pinkie. “Gotta get back in case somepony else placed an order. See ya!”

With that, she hopped off, and Twilight closed the door behind her.

“Wow, Twi,” I said. “You knew exactly when to have that delivered?”

“I always leave a little room open for the possibility of a random event,” said Twilight. “Like the occasional Pinkie Pie visit. You live with her long enough, you have to take that into account.”

“Smart,” I said, grinning.

“I didn’t think Sugarcube Corner even made deliveries,” Spike said, looking puzzled.


***


Within minutes, the three of us were supplied with steaming mugs of hot cocoa, which Twi told me was a mix bought from Donut Joe’s in Canterlot, and a generously-full plate of cookies, which was what Pinkie had delivered. We settled on the main couch, Spike seated between me and Twilight. From the relaxed look on his face, one might have thought that he himself had been in the midst of our work session, and was in need of a respite. Neither Twilight nor I commented on it aloud, though, and simply enjoyed the contented feeling that reigned inside the library, and the sweet, chocolately taste of the cookies.

“It can’t have been that long ago since I had one of these,” I said. “I can’t remember them tasting so good.” 

(If I was still on my diet, I’d feel pretty guilty about eating these.)

“Tell me about it,” said Spike, polishing off another. “I’ve even tried making my own just like them, but somehow, they never taste as good as the way Pinkie and the Cakes make them.”

“Pinkie’s not shy about giving them out to her friends, either,” said Twilight, wiping crumbs from her muzzle and patting her stomach. “Not that we have much reason to complain, of course. A Sugarcube Corner confection is the perfect pick-me-up for a pony.”

“And a dragon, too,” said Spike.

“And a human, too,” I added, making the others laugh.

From there, we moved to other amicable topics, like the Daring Do and Shadow Spade series. Twilight had already gotten word from Moonlight about us finishing the first book, and how she’d already picked up the next one. She was pleased with how much the two of us had taken to it. She only wished she could say the same for others.

According to Twilight, Rainbow was still bemoaning the fact that the next Daring book wouldn’t be out for some time yet. I couldn’t blame her, but at least I had other ways to occupy my need for good literature. Conversely, when Twilight tried to get Rainbow into another book series to stave off the ‘withdrawal’, our speedy friend refused, stubbornly stating that no other book could possibly possess the ‘raw awesomeness’ that the Daring books had. She had actually laughed outright when Twi suggested Shadow Spade, saying it was ‘for eggheads who liked dressing up’.

“Shows what she knows,” I said. “If she actually sat down to read it, she’d see how deep it goes, far beyond attention to details in fashion. It’s like they say: don’t knock it ‘til you try it.”

“Glad someone gets it,” said Twilight, sounding relieved.

“But I have to say,” I went on, “that it never ceases to amaze me how A.K. Yearling can keep thinking up those intense action sequences, while never making them sound repetitive or hackneyed. Even for all the times Daring’s escaped out of the top of a building, she still finds a way to make them nuanced each time.”

“I know, right?” asked Twilight, leaning in eagerly. “She’s one of the greatest fiction writers ever, in my opinion! She knows not to make the plots too similar, even if there is a certain formula to them.”

“Totally,” I agreed. “She even gives credit where it’s due to Daring’s adversaries. It’d be so easy to portray them as utterly incompetent against her constant awesomeness, but she writes them to have just as many near-victories as Daring has actual victories.”

“Exactly!” said Twilight, now leaning so close that we were nose to nose, both of us grinning like goofs. “Story, characters, settings, emotion: it’s all a perfect blend! She also operates with geologically-consistent histories for locations she writes about! What I wouldn’t give to help with her research.” She sighed. “A long-held dream of mine.”

A very pointed clearing of the throat turned our attention downward. Unbeknownst to either of us, Twilight had used Spike’s head as a footstool when she leaned in towards me. Both forehooves were pressed down on the little dragon’s head, and he did not look pleased at all.

“Oops! Sorry, Spike.”

Twilight went back to her former posture and removed her forehooves from their unwilling perch. Spike smoothed his spines, which had been ruffled a bit.

“Next time you two are gonna have a nerd-out, warn me,” he said. “Especially if you’re gonna get close enough to kiss.”

Twilight blushed, and I rubbed the back of my head awkwardly. That hadn’t even crossed my mind. There was a few seconds silence, in which Spike’s irritation seemed to fade away, before I decided to break the ice again.

“Speaking of Miss Yearling, as a long-time fan, I can assume you know all there is to know about her? I could only glean so much from her little bio on the back cover of each book.”

“Oh, absolutely,” said Twilight, perking back up. “I mean, she’s never made any public appearances, but there have been biographies published about her.”

“That’s right,” I said. “I forgot that she was reclusive. So nopony has ever seen her in person? Er, pony?”

“Nopony except those who know where she lives,” said Twilight, “and she’s far out of the way of civilization. Besides, she’s not overly fond of visitors unless they have business with her.” 

“That’s a shame,” I said. “If she’s not living in Canterlot or anywhere else nearby, I guess there isn’t a chance of Moonlight and me meeting her, even if I did promise we would if we could.”

It might have just been me, but I could’ve sworn a distant and familiar voice said, ‘You didn’t know, so it’s ok.’ Was I hallucinating again?

“It is a shame,” said Twilight, nodding. “If it were that easy, though, she’d be hounded day and night, so it’s smart for her to live distantly from others. She only ever corresponds through mail. It’s how my mother keeps in touch with her.”

I blinked in surprise.

“Your mom’s pen pals with A.K. Yearling?”

“She is,” said Twilight, proudly. “She’s a writer herself, but she prefers making short stories and novellas. She once got an award from the Equestrian Writers Association for one of her pieces. Specifically, it was the ‘Daring Do Award’, ranked as being just as good as one of Yearling’s books.

“Wow,” I breathed. “That’s incredible.”

“I know,” said Twilight. “She doesn’t like to brag about it, though. She’s very humble about her work, even if she is really good.”

“Sounds familiar,” Spike muttered into his mug of cocoa.

Twilight smirked at him. I smiled too. This cozy, familiar feeling felt like the day after I’d first arrived in Equestria, spending time with Twilight before seeing Rarity about new clothes. It was hard to believe so much time had passed since then.

At that moment, a clock chimed 3 o'clock. Was it that time already? I hadn’t even noticed. Twilight and Spike looked just as surprised as me, though Twilight looked regretful too.

“Sorry, Dave,” she said, “but we’re going to have to shelve our talk here. I’ve got some spellwork to practice, and I need Spike to assist me.”

“Yeah, you don’t wanna stick around when Twilight’s practicing new spells,” said Spike. “Especially the big stuff. If I didn’t have tough dragon scales, I probably wouldn’t wanna stick around, either.”

“I getcha,” I said. “It’s no problem. I’m just glad we were able to spend some good R&R time like this.”

“Me too,” said Twilight.

Getting up from the couch, she fired up her horn, and my latest essay flew up off the table, whereupon it was placed neatly and securely in a manilla envelope. These, along with my notes on dragons, were set down in my lap. Gathering them up under my arm, I got up, as did Spike.

“Before you head off,” he said, “gimme a sec.”

He scurried off upstairs. Soon enough, he returned with a couple of books in his claws, which he handed to me.

“What are these?” I asked.

“One’s a Power Ponies anthology,” said Spike, “containing the first ten issues, complete with writer’s notes, character bios, and behind-the-scenes facts. It’s a lot easier than dealing with individual issues, especially if you’re trying to keep them in mint condition.” 

“Are all of yours in mint?” I asked.

“Not all, but I’m getting there,” said Spike. “I’m saving up some good ones for the next Trader’s Exchange in Rainbow Falls.”

“Trader’s Exchange?” I asked. “What’s that, like a flea market?”

“Something like that,” said Twilight. “Ponies gather items to trade for other items. No bits are allowed, so it’s all a matter of whether or not a pony wants to trade something for something else offered.”

“Ooh, sounds risky,” I said.

“But it’s a fun sort of risk,” said Twilight, keenly. “And a princess officiates to ensure fair trades. Luna did it last year, and I think Cadence might be doing it this year.”

“Oh, that’s neat,” I said. “So, what’s this other book, Spike?”

“A beginner’s guide to Ogres and Oubliettes,” said Spike, “with basic rules and a character sheet so that you can create your own character. Really, it’s not too complicated, since it mostly hinges on the players’ imaginations. Once you’ve got it all down, hit me up, and we’ll set up a guy’s night,” he added, with a ‘finger gun’ point and a wink.

“Sounds good, little buddy,” I said, tucking them both under my arm. “I’ll be sure to give these the cover-to-cover treatment.”

“That’s what I like to hear,” said Twilight. “But, really, Dave, this was a relaxing afternoon. I wish I wasn’t so busy, because I’d love to do it again sometime soon.”

“Me too, Twilight,” I said, “but your studies come first, and I’d hate to be the one to make you slack off from them. Besides, it’s not like we never see each other anymore.”

“I know,” said Twilight, smiling.

She reared up and put her forelegs around me in a gentle hug, and I used my free arm to reciprocate in kind. When she released me and got back down on all fours, I turned to Spike and held out my fist to him, which he gladly bumped with his own, grinning broadly.

“Take care, you two,” I said. “I’ll see you around. Good luck with your spells, Twi.”

“Thanks. See you later.”

“See ya!” said Spike.

I turned and headed out of the library, intending to mail my essay to Minister Ironmane. As I closed the door behind me, I could hear Twilight asking Spike to fetch certain books. I couldn’t catch the exact titles, and maybe it was because I was getting out of earshot, but it sounded like a jumble of vaguely Latin jargon.

(And people think J.K. Rowling’s spells sounds like mangled Latin. Then again, who am I to judge? I’m just a muggle, even in Equestra.) 

Monday, March 11


***


Tuesday found me flipping through the books Spike had given me. The Ogres and Oubliettes book wasn’t very long. It was more or less a basic outline of the game itself. The setting, non-playable characters, and quests were determined by the game’s Overseer, essentially an O&O Dungeonmaster. It was he or she who determined what the players would face and where. The rest was all up to imagination. 

Something that was consistent from game to game was the very extensive list of spells one could cast, and how many skill stats were required to use them. Some of them were oddly specific, like transforming someone into a root vegetable, or making them hiccup hallucinogenic bubbles, or forcing them to sidestep like a crab while speaking Pony Latin. There was also, as Spike said, an example character sheet to give one an idea of how to build a character, different classes with their pros and cons, and requirements for leveling up and upgrading stats. I’d have to think about which suited me best, and there were a lot to choose from.

The Power Ponies comics were a lot more fascinating. As Spike had said, there were 6 super-powered ponies, all mares, who battled against the forces of evil, protecting the danger-prone city of Maretropolis, and the inaugural story told in this anthology was about these heroes first coming together as a team. Besides Zapp and Mistress Mare-velous, whom Spike had already told me about, there was the Masked Matterhorn, who was adept at many different spells, though she favored a freeze ray; Filli-Second, who was blessed with super speed; Radiance, who could create constructs from her magic jewelry; and Saddle Rager, who could turn into a muscle-bound juggernaut when angered. I could definitely see the parallels between them and comic book heroes back home.

There was also a young colt named Humdrum, who served as a sidekick to the whole team. He didn’t have any superpowers, and was more or less there for comic relief, getting tossed around by the villains, falling all over himself, and getting in the way. I couldn’t help wondering what the point was in making him so useless and putting him out into the field where he could potentially die. From what I could glean, however, he chose to go out into battle with them after the Masked Matterhorn saved his life. He felt he owed a debt of service to the Power Ponies, and even if they insisted that he stay behind for his own sake, he still managed to sneak after them and get himself in trouble. You would think he’d have learned his lesson after the first time, but the Power Ponies were remarkably patient with the kid.

In spite of this, the other aspects of the comic kept me invested. The artwork was superb, with careful attention to the tiniest detail, so that nothing looked particularly off-model; the writing was fascinating, keeping a genuine story flowing from issue to issue, and not solely being about heroes beating the daylights out of villains; the characters were varied and engaging; they all had enough personality to keep any of them, even the villains, from being one-note and bland. On the whole, it was a solid storyline, and it was only the first handful of issues. It was easy to see why Spike was such a fan.

It was about mid-afternoon by the time I finished. I was just putting the book down, when suddenly, a bright flash of light blazed before my eyes, temporarily blinding me. When I could open them again, I saw something floating in front of me. It took me a few seconds to realize that it was a letter, but what a letter.

The envelope was gaudy as all-get-out: bright blue and sprinkled with stars made of glitter. My address was written in white, to stand out against the paper, I suppose. At first, I wondered who on Earth, besides Pinkie, could stand to use such extravagant stationary, but looking at it, I felt like I knew who might have sent it.

Taking it and slitting it open, I pulled out the letter, which was written on lavender-colored paper, with very grandiose and loopy penmanship. Even if it weren’t for the cutie mark adorning the signature, the evidence of the envelope had already made me guess who the sender was, and my suspicions were confirmed on the very second line.

“Dave,
Rejoice! The Great and Powerful Trixie shall once again, at long last, by gracing Ponyville with her presence! Hold your applause, please, though I know it’s difficult. 
After a whirlwind tour around Equestria, it’s time to take a break from life on the road. For how long? Who knows? But however long or short it may be, I would be sorely remiss not to pay a visit to my dearest fan and friend. Look out for my caravan on Friday, March 15. That’s when I expect to arrive, barring accidents, of course.
I can’t wait to show you the new tricks I’ve developed. It’s lucky you wear socks, because my new repertoire will undeniably rock them off! 
See you soon!
Greatly and powerfully yours,
Trixie.”

I couldn’t help laughing. Trixie could have sent this on simple paper, and it would have had the same effect. Instead, she went the extra mile and made a presentation out of it, just for me. Moreover, the fact that she would be returning to Ponyville was very welcome to hear. The last time I’d seen her was at the Brimstone Lounge over a month ago. I was very much welcome to the idea of seeing my great and powerful friend again.

I had just put the letter aside when there came, not a knock at the door, but a tap at the window. Puzzled, I looked over, and saw Moonlight’s face at it, smiling as she waved at me. Walking over, I opened it up. She was hovering to stay level, and had a book clasped to her chest.

“Hey, you,” I said, grinning. “What’s this about?”

“Just a change of pace,” she said, with a giggle. “Hope you don’t mind.”

“Not at all,” I said, stepping aside. “Come on in.”

Swiftly and easily, my skinny friend flew in, and I closed the window behind her. When I turned back to her, I saw her looking at Trixie’s letter.

“Who sent you this?” she asked. “I’d say it’s a bit garish, but I actually kinda like it.”

“That’s from Trixie,” I said. “The magician I told you about. She’s planning on being back in Ponyville on Friday.”

“Oh, neat!” said Moonlight. “Maybe I can finally see one of her shows now. I’ll have to leave myself a note not to forget this time.”

“I’d love for you to meet her,” I said. “She’s something else. So, what have you got there?”

“The next Shadow Spade book,” said Moonlight, holding it up. “They’re not numbered, so I needed Twilight to pick it out for me. This one’s The Ebony Guise.”

“Ooh, I like the sound of that,” I said. “I’ll get some popcorn ready, and we’ll dive right in.”

“Okay,” said Moonlight, making herself comfy on the couch.

Soon, I was back with the snacks, and set them down before settling myself beside my reading partner.

“Stayed dry on Sunday?” I asked.

“Mm-hmm. It wasn’t a storm, so it was easy to bear up with. Almond had actually come by before it started coming down hard. It was a real surprise, since neither of us knew when he’d have free time again. So we kept each other company until it cleared up.” 

“Well, that sounds nice and cozy,” I said, banteringly.

Moonlight gave me a playful shove, and we both laughed.

“Weird thing, though,” she went on. “We thought we saw Screwball outside, sunbathing. Er, rainbathing. Was that just us?”

“No, I saw her too,” I said. “Odd, isn’t it?”

“I thought it was pretty funny,” said Moonlight. “Almond only said it seemed a nice spot for it, since the pond would probably overflow.”

I chuckled.

“So, you ready to get started?” I asked.

“Yep!” said Moonlight, plopping the book down between us,

“And for the record,” I added, “I’m not gonna make bets on who the culprit will be this time. If I were an actual gambling man, I’d probably lose everything in my pockets betting against you.”

Moonlight’s only answer was a cheeky giggle.

Tuesday, March 12
> Surprises Galore
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

“I don’t know. I just don’t know…”

“Me neither.”

Once again, Moonlight and I were gazing down at the last page of the chapter we decided to pause our reading at, trying to make sense of what we’d learned. We weren’t doing so well.

“Whoever’s under the Ebony Mask,” I said, “they’re incredibly blasé about being at the scene of the crime and what they stole.”

“It’s like they want ponies to know they were the culprit,” mused Moonlight.

“So the obvious question is, who comes across as egotistical enough to be the Ebony Mask?”

“That’s where it gets tricky,” said Moonlight. “Each potential suspect Shadow Spade has come across is either flashy or boastful.”

“Like Baron von Pfau,” I said.

“And Sir Chanticleer,” said Moonlight.

“Both of them absolutely insufferable,” I muttered.

“I think that was the point,” said Moonlight. “Even Shadow Spade can’t stand them, and she freely admits it. They’re just too full of themselves to get the hint.”

“So, then,” I said, “is it one of them? Both at the same time? Someone else we haven’t met?”

“Who knows?” Moonlight murmured. “Even I don’t have any theories.”

I closed the book and set it down, while Moonlight took a long gulp of water. I took a swig from my own glass, as doing voices for the eccentric and flamboyant witnesses Shadow Spade had questioned had been fun, but murder on the vocal cords.

“So, how’s your story coming along?” I asked, setting my glass down.

“Hmm?”

Moonlight looked puzzled for a moment, then her expression lit up as she remembered.

“Oh, that! I’m taking a break from it, actually,” she said, with a rueful smile. 

“Oh?”

“Yeah. I was losing too much sleep trying to keep it going when I didn’t know how. I was pretty much running on empty, you know?”

“I getcha,” I said, patting her shoulder. “No point straining yourself when you don’t know how to proceed.”

“Exactly,” she said. “I wondered if I ought to scrap it altogether, but then I decided to just let it sit until I come up with something, because I had a feeling I’d regret getting rid of it.”

“Right,” I said. “Makes you wonder how authors like A.K. Yearling or Horseshoe Hammett deal with writer’s block.”

“By stepping away from their typewriters, I imagine,” said Moonlight. “Authors have their own lives, too, and can’t be expected to always be churning out stories 24/7.”

“If only Rainbow Dash could understand that,” I said.

Moonlight giggled.

“How about you?” she asked. “Had any luck choosing a song for the concert?”

“Not yet,” I said. “It’s not easy narrowing down choices when any of them have potential. I’ve never been that good at ranking things, especially for a top 5 or top 10. And I’ve gotta pick soon, so I can get all the practice I need for it. If I can be honest, I’m starting to worry that I won’t have something picked in time.”

“I know the feeling,” said Moonlight, nodding sympathetically. “Maybe you need to take some time away from the piano. I mean, you don’t even have a definite date for the concert, do you?”

“That’s true,” I said. “Maybe I should. After all, musicians need time away just as much as writers do. I just wanted a good head start, like Octavia suggested.”

“I getcha,” said Moonlight, “but even you need a break, and I’m sure she’d understand too.”

“Yeah. Thanks, Moonlight.”

“Any time, buddy o’mine,” she said, leaning against me with a sweet smile.

Smiling, I gave her a squeeze in return, then the two of us got up.

“I’ll try to swing by on Friday to meet Trixie when she arrives,” she said as I walked her out. “Maybe finish the book as well. It’s gonna be busy next week, though. Mr. and Mrs. Cake are going on vacation with the twins next Monday, so it’ll be Pinkie and me running the place.”

“Oh really?” I asked, intrigued. “Good for them! Any idea where they’re going?”

“The Crystal Empire, I think,” said Moonlight. “I don’t remember if they said where specifically, but it’s what I imagine.”

“And it’ll just be you and Pinkie?” I asked.

“Mm-hmm. We’ll be fine, though. I’ve seen Pinkie work the kitchen and the counter effortlessly. I’m just flattered that the Cakes trust me enough to let me run the place with her.”

“It’s because they think you’re a reliable pony, buddy o’mine,” I said, grinning and ruffling her mane, making her giggle again.

Tuesday, March 12


***


On Wednesday, just as Moonlight suggested, I decided to spend some time away from my piano and rejuvenate my creativity. After lunch, therefore, I headed out. As for where I’d go, I didn’t have a definite plan. However, I knew going into the hustle and bustle of Ponyville wouldn’t give me a lot of time for quiet reflection, so on in the end, I turned my steps outwards, towards Sweet Apple Acres. It was always peaceful and serene there, so it sounded perfect for my present wants.

As I approached the farm, taking in the familiar scent of fresh-grown apples, I heard something that made me pause. It was the faint sound of someone playing a harmonica. It sounded close by, among a dense clump of trees. Apple Bloom must’ve been practicing her piece for the concert.

“Darn it!” I muttered to myself.

“Howdy, sugarcube,” said a familiar voice.

I started and looked around. Applejack was standing beside me, smiling genially, though I couldn’t help but notice that one of her ears was clamped against her head.

“Hi, Applejack,” I said. “Is that Apple Bloom practicing for the amateur concert?” I added, jerking my head in the direction of the music.

“Eeyup,” said Applejack. “She’s been pipin’ away at that harmonica of hers whenever she can. She had to start doin’ it outside so Granny could nap in peace, but now Ah gotta do mah buckin’ where she ain’t playin’. Ah mean, Ah’m glad to help her out when Ah can, but even Ah’ve got mah limits.”

She and I both chuckled.

“Well, I decided to take some time away from the piano,” I said. “I haven’t been able to decide on a song yet, so Moonlight figured it might do me some good to let my brain rest for a bit.”

“Smart thinkin’,” said Applejack.

“So, is it all right if I go with you? Maybe keep you company?”

“Of course!” said Applejack. “Come this way.”

She led the way further into the orchard, until gradually, the sounds of Apple Bloom’s harmonica playing faded away. Finally, there was nothing but the sound of birds chirping, my feet and her hooves crunching on the grass, and the rustle of leaves in the treetops.

“Ahh, that’s more like it,” I said.

“You said it,” said Applejack, grinning.

I sat myself down against a tree that was bereft of applebucking buckets, and watched Applejack cross over to one surrounded by them. She gave it a hardy kick, and apples came cascading down. It never ceased to amaze me how easy she made it look.

“Have you thought about signing up, AJ?” I asked.

“Fer the concert?” she replied. “Shucks, I’m sure it’d be fun playin’ with y’all, but Ah really don’t have the time to spare for practicin’. Feedin’ the pigs and chickens alone takes a good chunk of time.”

“I see,” I said, wondering just how many pigs and chickens she had to feed.

“It’s especially busy around this time too,” she continued, bucking another tree. “It’ll be Zap Apple time soon.”

“I’ve heard,” I said. “Is it the same time every year?”

“More or less. It’s always in the same month, but never the same day. Our first sign will be when the timber wolves start howlin’.”

I felt a shudder go through me at the mention of timber wolves. I hadn’t forgotten what happened in the Everfree Forest...

“Granny says they know when the Zap Apples are comin’,” Applejack continued, “though even she doesn’t know why. There’s all kinds of weird particulars that go with harvestin’ em. Zap Apples are finicky fruit, but they’re magical, so magic is as magic does, Ah spose.”

“So what you’re saying is, they’re magically delicious?” I asked, wryly.

Applejack looked nonplussed.

“Ah guess that’s one way to put it,” she said, shrugging.

Now I just felt foolish. That had gone right over her head.

(Of course they don’t know what Lucky Charms are, Dave. Not everything from your world is here in Equestria.)

“So, how long does it typically take to get Zap Apple Jam ready?” I asked, recovering, as Applejack started on yet another tree.

“‘Bout a week,” she said. “It’s a tricky process, and everythin’s gotta be done exactly, or the jam won’t taste as good. Granny’s spent years harvestin’ them, so she knows all the tricks to bring out all the flavor.”

“I see,” I said. “Sounds like something only the finest chefs would be able to pull off.”

“Darn tootin’,” said Applejack, winking. “She’s started teachin’ Apple Bloom last year, since she’s still too little to help with the big orchard work just yet. She’s gettin’ there, though. She’s a strong little filly for her age. Applebuckin’ muscle runs in the family,” she added, flexing one of her hind legs by example.

“That right?” I asked. “I do recall the Crusaders wanting to be a human for Nightmare Night, but Apple Bloom didn’t want to be on the bottom, even if she was the strongest.”

Applejack chuckled.

“Stubbornness runs in the family, too, Ah guess,” she said, making me laugh in turn.

From there, I simply sat back as Applejack continued bucking, looking up at the leaves of the trees and the clouds in the sky. The atmosphere was a lot more peaceful now, away from Apple Bloom’s playing. Not that it was bad, of course, but that it was nice not to have it as a distraction. I felt like I could’ve fallen asleep then and there, and probably would’ve done, too, if not for a slight worry that Applejack might buck the tree I was under by accident.

After a time, Applejack stopped bucking, wiping the sweat from her brow. I looked around. I’d been so focused on the quiet and calm that I hadn’t even noticed all the full buckets now sitting at the base of each of the trees.

“Sorry, Dave, but Ah’d better head back and get a wagon to pick up these here buckets,” she said. “Ah hope you don’t mind me cuttin’ things short.”

“No, not at all,” I said. “It was nice just to sit here and be with you as long as I did. Thanks for letting me.”

“Anytime, sugarcube,” said Applejack, smiling kindly as I got to my feet. “We’ll let ya know when it’s Zap Apple time. It goes fast, especially after Filthy Rich gets the first shipment, and we don’t want you to miss out.”

“Someone who works at Barnyard Bargains said the same thing,” I said. “I appreciate that, AJ.”

“‘Course, hun,” said Applejack, giving me a friendly squeeze. “Take care now.”

“See you.”

Applejack headed off towards the main part of the farm, and I turned back around towards home, feeling much more at ease about the concert situation. True, I might not yet still know what I was going to play, but the tension I was feeling about it had melted away.

It was only after I’d gotten home, while I was absentmindedly leafing through the songs I’d picked to practice, when I stopped at one in particular, and it hit me. 

It was as though a lightning bolt had shot down through the ceiling and struck me in the brain. I suddenly had an idea on what song I wanted to practice for the concert. It felt like it had been staring me in the face among the rest that I’d brought home with me, but I’d never given much thought to until I stopped obsessing about practicing so much. At last, I knew what to do, and what to focus on!

(I owe you one, Moonlight, and you too, Applejack!)

Wednesday, March 13


***


I spent part of Thursday reading more of the Power Ponies anthology Spike had given me, rereading the additional behind-the-scenes facts about the comic as I did. The inspirations for some of the Power Ponies were both fascinating and a little hilarious. Both Saddle Rager and Radiance were based on aspects of the writer’s wife. Like the former, she was apparently a sweetheart who turned scary whenever she got mad (though hopefully not to the extent Rager did), and she also kept her jewelry so well-polished that the shine that came off of them was practically solid, ala Radiance’s constructs. Filly-Second was similarly based on a friend of the writer’s who talked a mile a minute and could never sit still; clearly, he’d never met Pinkie at her most hyper, as I had. It always intrigued me whenever art imitated life.

I also decided to try and make an Ogres and Oubliettes character, using the example sheet in the other book Spike had given me. That way, I’d be ready whenever the time came to actually play. The only problem was, there were a lot of classes to choose from. Did I want to be a swordsman? A mage? An archer? A rogue? There were too many choices, like the problem I’d just had with picking a song.

Hang on a moment.

Songs…

Of course!

I could be a bard!

In a twinkling, I began jotting down notes for my new character, referring to the book to see what to add based on class and other aspects I chose. Soon, I was drawing up a veritable backstory for my new character. It was actually rather exciting, and I began to lose myself as I went deeper and deeper.

“Forte, a wandering bard from the harmonious village of Lyrishire. Since a young age, he was deemed a prodigy, even by the village’s standards, and crafted his first lute when he was 8. His music has an enchanting power, soothing the senses of the most stressed individual and taming even the most ferocious of wildlife. Forte is kind, compassionate, and noble, always eager to help where he can. He also has an easygoing, bantering sense of humor. However, he can also be rather wishy washy at times, and despite being well-armed, dislikes confrontation.”

Yes, that sounded like a good start. When I brought him to Spike and he outlined the world we would be playing in, I could easily fill in the gaps for the rest of his backstory.

I was just finishing up, when I heard somepony knocking at the door. Setting my notes aside, I got up and opened the door. Scootaloo was hovering level with my face, grinning broadly.

“Hi, Dave!”

“Hey, Scoot. What’s up?”

“Don’t forget me!” squeaked a familiar voice.

Looking down, I saw Dinky standing below, beaming adorably up at me.

“Hello, Dinky,” I said. “What brings you both by? Any new sign-ups?”

“Not yet,” said Scootaloo. “There’s still one day left, though. Maybe somepony’ll sign up at the last minute, just to be cool.”

“Wouldn’t surprise me,” I said.

“What we came by for,” said Dinky, “is to show you this!”

She stepped aside, and Scootaloo flew aside, revealing something that the latter had been obstructing my view of from her position. At first, I thought it was a skateboard, but then I saw the tall pair of handlebars at the front. I could now see that it was a scooter, but much more complex than Scootaloo’s wooden one. This one was a lot bigger, and the chassis was made of a shiny blue metal. There were also curved wheel guards above the tires. I was so focused on it that I barely registered the sight of Doc off in the distance, waving at the girls from beside some kind of blue box.

“Wow!” I said, impressed.

“Do you like it?” Dinky asked.

“It looks really good,” I said. “Did you get an upgrade, Scoot? This one looks a little big for you.”

“Pfft, no way,” scoffed Scootaloo. “I told ya: not even being able to fly is making me give up my trusty scooter.”

“So what’s the story with this one?” I asked.

“It’s for you!” said Dinky, proudly.

I blinked.

Had I heard right?

“For me?” I asked.

“Yeah!” said Dinky. “I told you I wanted to find you your own scooter so you could keep up with Scoot, and the somepony I mentioned made this!”

“It’s got a magic-powered engine,” said Scootaloo, “in case you don’t wanna propel yourself with your feet, and the tires are made to work on both dirt and grass!”

“What do you think?” Dinky asked, eagerly.

What did I think?

What could I think?

Dinky had gotten this for me?

How much had it cost?

“You wanna try it out?” Scootaloo asked.

“Yeah, come on!” said Dinky, tugging at my pant leg.

Numbly, I allowed myself to be directed towards it. All I could do was stare at it, but with more urging from the two fillies, I stepped on and gripped the handlebars. They were just the right height.

“That pedal there starts the engine,” said Scootaloo, pointing to one by my left foot. “Then, once you get started, you can adjust the speed by twisting the handlebars.”

I pressed down on the pedal, and the engine chugged to life, starting forward quite suddenly. I only just managed to hold on as it propelled me onwards. Rather haphazardly, I managed to turn it with the handlebars, pulling an awkward about-face. I twisted them, like Scootaloo said, and the scooter slowed down to an easier pace. From there, it was much easier to control, and, I had to admit, quite enjoyable. It went very smoothly over the grass, and the steering seemed perfectly balanced. I scootered around the front yard a few times, with Scootaloo and Dinky watching excitedly, until at last, I pulled it to a stop and dismounted.

“So? So?” Dinky asked, actually bouncing up and down in her excitement beside Scootaloo.

“It’s great!” I said. “It handles really well, even on the grass. I’m highly impressed!”

Dinky let out a squeal of joy and, with startling agility, tackled Scootaloo in a glomp.

“He likes it! He likes it!” she cried, hugging her surprised sister. “I knew he would!”

“Dinky!” gasped Scootaloo, whose cheeks had gone red. “Can’t...breathe!”

Dinky released Scootaloo, who massaged her ribs gingerly, but looked faintly amused. I crossed over to them.

“Dinky,” I said, kneeling down in front of the two, “Scootaloo, I hardly know what to say. Honestly, I don’t feel like I deserve something this amazing,” I added, gesturing to the scooter.

“Don’t be silly!” said Dinky. “Of course you do!”

“Dinky really thought you did,” said Scootaloo, grinning. “She wanted you to have your own way of getting around when you didn’t want to use your feet.”

“It’s my way of saying how much you mean to us,” said Dinky, sweetly. “Cuz you’re the best human friend we’ve ever had!”

Whereupon she threw her tiny hooves as far around my middle as she could and hugged me.

“The only human friend we’ve ever had,” said Scootaloo, shrugging, “but still.”

I wiped at my eyes. I couldn’t help myself. The sweetness and innocence of Dinky’s gesture went straight to my heart, bringing tears to my eyes. I drew an arm around her to complete the hug, and even reached over to ruffle Scootaloo’s mane, making her chuckle.

“Thanks, girls,” I said. “I really appreciate this.”

“You’re welcome,” said Dinky.

“No problem,” said Scootaloo.

Dinky released me, then turned to Scootaloo.

“We’d better go see him,” she said. “He’ll want to know if Dave likes it. He’ll be so happy to hear he does!”

Scootaloo nodded, then turned to me.

“We’ll catch ya later, Dave,” she said. “Enjoy your new ride!”

And with that, the two fillies hurried off towards Ponyville. I stood up and watched them until they were out of sight, smiling all the while. After taking time to give my glasses a wipe, I grabbed the handlebars of my new scooter and rolled it over to the house, bringing it in after wiping the wheels off with a towel. It didn’t feel safe leaving it outside, even if I was so far outside of the town.

“If there are cutie marks for talents in awesomeness,” I said to myself, “those fillies’ flanks wouldn’t be blank anymore. Bless them.”

Thursday, March 14


***


“...Well. Of all things, I didn’t see that coming.”

“Neither did I.”

Once more, though not before I had shown Moonlight my new scooter (and let her take a test ride on it), she and I had reached the end of a book. Once more, we were astounded by what we had just finished reading. We looked from the pages to each other, surprise mirrored in each other’s faces.

“The Ebony Mask was Souris the whole time?” I asked. “Baron von Pfau’s hoofpony?”

“I’d almost forgotten he existed,” said Moonlight.

“So did I!” I said. “He appeared so sporadically, and hardly ever said a word!”

“And all because he was trying to frame the Baron for neglecting and underpaying him,” said Moonlight.

“Well, the Baron wasn’t exactly a paragon,” I said, “but even so, that’s messed up.”

Moonlight nodded.

“Well, there’s a twist and a half for ya,” I said, “and we can’t even say the butler did it, because Souris technically wasn’t one.”

Moonlight giggled.

“It was a good twist, though,” she said. “It makes me wonder how good the next Shadow Spade novel will be.”

“Me too,” I said, grinning.

At that moment, I heard something outside. 

It was the rattle of wheels. 

Excited, I hurried over to the window, and saw, with a leap of joy, a familiar wagon trundling along, its wheels glowing. It seemed the pony at the helm was steering it from the inside, but there was no doubt who it was.

“She’s here!” I said. “Trixie’s here!”

“She is?” Moonlight asked, eagerly. “Oh gosh! I’d better rush home and make sure I look nice. I don’t want to meet a famous magician looking like a mess.”

“Moonlight, don’t be silly. You look-”

But Moonlight had already hurried out the door and back to her house.

“-fine,” I finished.

Oh well. If she wanted to make a good impression, that was her business. 

I stepped outside myself, just as the wagon rolled to a halt, not too far from my house. The door flew open, and out bounded Trixie, bereft of her hat and cape, but looking hale and hearty. My heart swelled to see her in such good spirits. She gave her mane a toss as she looked out toward Ponyville.

“Hello, Ponyville!” she crowed. “Did you miss Trixie? Because Trixie missed you!”

“I can name someone who definitely missed you!” I called, laughing.

Trixie turned, saw me, and her face lit up anew.

“My dear Dave!” she said, striding towards me. “How good to see you!”

I hurried forward to meet her, whereupon she, with a delighted laugh, practically pounced into my arms. It was surprising, and I actually fell over into my rear, as even an average-sized pony was rather heavy. Even so, I couldn’t help laughing myself as I returned her hug. It was perhaps the warmest embrace I'd ever received from her, and she seemed in the most cheery mood I’d ever seen her in, nestling up against me in my arms and warmly nuzzling my cheek.

“It’s really good to see you too, Trixie,” I said, as she pulled away to look me in the eye. “I’m glad you’re looking so well, and doing well, from what I’ve heard.”

“Thank you, Dave,” said Trixie. “It’s been a grand revival tour, traveling Equestria again, and seeing that the name of Trixie is no longer ‘mud’. I’d only just finished the last stop, when I knew I had to come back to Ponyville and see the man who helped spark it in the first place.”

Before I could mumble my modest appreciation for her words, and to my utter astonishment, she kissed me on the cheek. It was only a quick peck, but I still felt the spot go hot. Trixie didn’t look the least abashed, and seemed amused by my befuddlement.

“Consider that Trixie’s seal of approval,” she said, winking. “I sometimes mark autographs for especial fans with a kiss. It’s as good as a signature.”

“I’m...flattered,” I said, still befuddled, as I got to my feet. “Er, anyways, Trixie, there’s somepony I’d like you to meet. She’s a dear friend of mine, but it seems she wasn’t able to see you the last time you were here.”

“Oh, really?” Trixie asked, intrigued. “Well, any friend of yours is bound to be a friend of mine.”

“I’m really glad to hear that,” I said, smiling. “She’s a real sweetheart. Ah! Here she is now!”

Moonlight’s door opened, and out she came. Once again, she had restyled her mane, this time into a single ponytail, similar to Applejack’s but less voluminous. She was beaming as she flew up to the two of us.

“Sorry to keep you waiting!” she said.

“No trouble,” I said. “Trixie, this is Moonlight, my dear friend and neighbor. Moonlight, this is the Great and Powerful Trixie, a wonderful magician and a good friend.”

I stepped back to give them space, expecting an exchange of polite pleasantries. 

What followed, however, completely astounded me.

Trixie had been smiling graciously as Moonlight came forward, and had opened her mouth to speak, but then stopped. Moonlight, too, had let the smile fade from her face, at the same time as Trixie’s. Both stared at each other, eyes narrowed, not in dislike, but in a more thoughtful way. It almost seemed as if each saw something in the other that inspired some deep thinking.

“Is something wrong?” I asked, warily.

“Have...we met before?” Moonlight asked.

She was rubbing her head, as though she had a headache. I was at a complete loss as to the cause of this behavior.

It was nothing on Trixie, though. Her eyes suddenly widened, her mouth fell open, and the color drained from her face. She looked as though she had just seen a ghost. I was getting more and more bewildered by the second.

“T-Trixie?” I stammered.

And then, Trixie screamed.

Friday, March 15
> Unexpected Revelations
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Of all the reactions I could have expected to arise from my magician friend getting to meet my dear neighbor, this was not what I had in mind.

Trixie kept screaming, but then she did something that perplexed me further. She started forward rather abruptly, looking as though she wanted to embrace Moonlight, and actually threw her forelegs around her neck. Moonlight let out a yelp of surprise, but before she could do more than that, Trixie had flung her back. She looked from her hooves to Moonlight, then back again, and then backed rapidly away until she bumped up against my legs.

Moonlight, knocked off her hooves after that, stood up again, looking just as confused as I felt, if not more so after that abrupt hug and push. She looked at me, as though begging for an explanation, but all I could do was shrug helplessly, while Trixie continued to hyperventilate, one hoof over her heart. I bent down and gripped her by the shoulders.

“Trixie, what on Earth’s gotten into you?” I asked.

Trixie didn’t answer. She continued to gasp, but she didn’t say anything.

“Not that I don’t like hugs,” said Moonlight, sounding a little indignant, “but I’d rather not get thrown to the ground after one.”

“Mrwrble” Trixie croaked, sounding like nothing I’d ever heard from her before.

“Trixie?” I asked, concerned. “Are you ok?”

“Her!”

Trixie pointed a trembling hoof at Moonlight, who looked more confused than ever. 

“What about her?” I asked.

“She’s...But I thought...She’s alive?!”

“What? Of course she’s alive! Why would you even ask that?!”

“I mean, I know my coat’s pretty pale,” Moonlight muttered, looking down at herself, “but come on.”

“Her! Rocks! Ghost? Hug! No ghost! Gotta go! No, stay! Yes.”

This was getting ridiculous, and downright alarming. Beyond the fact that Trixie was acting as though she was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, if she kept on like this, she’d really hurt Moonlight’s feelings, when she (and I) had no idea what this was all about.

Trixie turned around to look at me. I felt a bit cowed at the intense light burning in her shrunken pupils, and the twitch in her left eye.

“Trixie? Are you ok?” I asked again. “Do I need to take you to the hospital again?”

She stared at me long and hard, reminding me vividly of our argument when she was getting sick. Eventually, however, her features relaxed a little, as though she started to realize just how crazy she was acting.

“No, no hospital” she said. “Can we go inside? I need to lay down, and get something to drink. I’m feeling a little woozy after a shock like that.”

“O-Of course,” I said.

“Right...You’re the one who’s shocked,” said Moonlight, dryly.


***


I soon had Trixie resting comfortably on my couch, supplied with a glass of water, which she gulped down quick as thinking. Moonlight had followed us in, though she still looked very dubious and a little disgruntled. I couldn’t blame her; I’d promised her the chance to meet a new friend, and the result was less than satisfactory.

At last, when Trixie seemed recovered (she had asked for at least two refills), she sat up.

“Feel better?” I asked.

“I’m getting there,” she said, patting my arm. “Thank you, Dave.”

Trixie swallowed hard, looking from me to my miffed neighbor. There was a pause. At last, she said to her, in a trembling voice and with tears in her eyes,

“I’m so happy you’re alive, Star. I suppose you must hate me now, after what happened. I don’t blame you if you do.”

Star? Who was Star?

Moonlight looked just as puzzled as me.

“Um, I don’t hate you,” she said, uncertainly. “I mean, what happened out there was surprising, but I’m sure you had your reasons.”

“What?” asked Trixie.

“What?” asked Moonlight.

“What, what?” I asked.

“You don’t hate me?” Trixie asked. “Then why didn’t you follow the caravan?”

Moonlight blinked.

“Caravan? What do you mean?”

“I feared the worst for you, but I still wanted to be sure you could find me. I’ve been leaving a trail for you ever since I left, but when you didn’t follow it...I thought you died.”

A tear rolled down Trixie’s cheek. As touching as this sounded, I felt completely lost. Judging by Moonlight’s expression, she was as clueless as I was. Or, so I thought. Her eyes had grown wide with excitement.

“You’re a deja vu!”

Trixie and I stared at her. 

“A what?” I asked.

“A deja vu,” said Moonlight. “I was in the hospital a long time ago, before I came to Ponyville, and a nurse told me a deja vu is what you call something you feel like you did before, even if you didn’t. I sometimes have problems remembering things that I feel like I should, so my nurse told me to just call it a deja vu whenever it happened.”

She was looking rather proud of herself.

“I’ve cracked the case!” she said, in a way reminiscent of Shadow Spade.

Apart from that being something straight out of a Shadow Spade novel, a ‘deja vu’ was a very odd thing to call Trixie.

“You must have known the old me!” Moonlight said to Trixie. “The me I don’t remember!”

Trixie stared, some of the color draining from her face again.

“The...you you don’t remember?” she echoed. “I think you’ll need to explain, because I’m more confused now than I was before.”

“That makes two of us,” I said.

Moonlight brushed a strand of hair away from her face. Her expression, once so triumphant in discovery, now looked faintly troubled.

“Like I said,” she said, “I don’t remember very much. The first thing I can recall is waking up in a hospital in Manehattan, with my head hurting very badly. I don’t know how I ended up there, or how long I’d been there, but from what my nurse told me, somepony had very kindly paid for my hospital bills. I often said that I wish I could’ve known who it was, because it was so very generous of them to do that for me, even if I didn’t know who they were.

“When I was feeling better, I wasn’t sure what I was going to do, since I didn’t even remember my name or where I lived. I didn’t even know who my parents were. I was all alone.”

Trixie sniffled beside me. I was feeling rather misty-eyed myself. I had never heard Moonlight talk about her past like this, and I had no idea that she had been so alone, though I still didn’t see where Trixie factored in.

“A very nice stallion from Foal Protective Services picked me up from the hospital and set me up in a foster home. They were nice ponies, and since I couldn’t remember my name, they gave me the name ‘Moonlight’, because they said I was ‘as bright as the moon’. I should’ve been happy with them, but I didn’t like Manehattan. It was too noisy, too crowded, and so full of rude ponies. Worst of all, it had the most terrible thunderstorms whenever it rained, and they always gave me so much anxiety, mixed together with the rest of the noise. I didn’t want to disappoint my foster family, but I just couldn’t bear being in Manehattan any longer.

“They were very understanding, though, and one day, they helped me get a home here in Ponyville. Technically, it was purchased in their name, and they said I was looking after it for them, to avoid complications. I don’t like tooting my own horn, but I was, I think, a bit more independent than most fillies my age, and I knew how to look after myself. With all of that taken care of, I moved to Ponyville, where I hoped I could find myself. Even if the doctors said I might get my memories back, I never did. I still want to solve the mystery of the old me.”

Here, Moonlight looked away, her eyes full of nostalgia.

“Wow,” I breathed. “Moonlight, I had no idea you had such a...tumultuous history.”

“I know,” said Moonlight. “I’m sorry I never told you before, Dave. It just didn’t feel important to, and I never really thought anything of it before.”

“I understand,” I said, patting her shoulder kindly.

A loud honking noise made both of us jump. Trixie had produced a handkerchief that seemed to be made out of the same material as the ‘never-ending rope’ trick magicians loved to perform, and was blowing her nose violently into it.

“Anyway,” I went on, “you came to Ponyville for a fresh start? Then why did I find you a shut-in?”

Moonlight’s ears drooped.

“I guess you could say I got stage fright,” she said. “Or, street fright. I was so used to the pushy, rude, noisy ponies in Manehattan that I was scared to mingle with the ponies here in Ponyville. I only went out when I had to, but I don’t think anypony ever remembered me when I passed. I stayed shut away otherwise, until you came along.”

She laid her hoof on my hand, a teary smile on her face, and I grasped it gently, smiling back. She then turned to Trixie, who had raised her puffy eyes from her handkerchief.

“You know me, Trixie, even if I don’t know you but should. Can you please tell me about the me you know I was?”

Trixie stared at Moonlight for a moment or two, her mouth slightly open, a quivering light in her eyes. At last, she asked,

“You really don’t remember anything? Not me? Not yourself?”

Moonlight shook her head. Trixie’s lip quivered, and she closed her eyes momentarily. When she opened them again, she said,

“Even if you don’t remember, you still deserve to know the truth. I will tell you, and you, Dave,” she added, turning to me. “I think you’ve been in the dark long enough.”

I couldn’t agree more, but I said nothing, and waited for her to continue. She sighed and shook her head with a grim smile.

“I never thought I could introduce my first friend to you, Dave, and certainly didn’t expect to introduce her to herself.”

I blinked, bewildered.

“Your first friend?” I echoed. “What do you mean?”

“Do you remember the night when I told you my history, about how I became the Great and Powerful Trixie?”

Why was she bringing that up?

“Yeah, I do,” I said, slowly. “Why?”

Trixie’s horn flared, and Moonlight ‘oooh’-ed as a spectral image emitted from her horn. With a slight giggle, Trixie asked us to ‘hold our applause’. The image was rather crude and simplistic, like a child’s cartoon drawings, but it resembled, from my point of view, Trixie’s wagon. Floating above it were stick-pony figures of a younger Trixie (I could tell because of the hat) and another pony, a white pegasus with blue hair.

“Do you also remember me telling you about an old friend of mine? A very dear friend?”

I couldn’t help but notice Trixie’s eyes becoming quite bright at this, and I thought I saw the beginning of fresh tears as well.

“I do remember,” I said. “Star...Glimmer, was it?”

“Glider,” Trixie corrected.

“Right, right, Star Glider.”

At first, I wondered why Trixie was bringing up her old friend, especially when she was a touchy subject for her. Her first telling me her story was enough to prove that to me. As I wondered about it, the scene changed, now resembling a packed theater, with Trixie on stage.

“You remember I told you about our stay in Manehattan?” Trixie went on, looking fixedly at me. “The trials I faced?”

“I do,” I said, thinking. “You were having trouble with hecklers, and I think you said that...that Star Glider wanted to stand up to them for you.”

“She did,” said Trixie, with a wan smile, “against my better judgement.”

The image changed again, and Moonlight and I gasped at its contents. It now showed the pony figure who was clearly Star Glider getting struck in the head by a massive stallion in the crowd, Trixie on stage all the while, looking horror-struck. To add to the effect, there was a window to the outside in this image, showing a fork of lightning behind its panes. There was even a clap of thunder that accompanied the image. Trixie gulped, looking pained.

“And so she did stand up for me...and...was punished for her good heart…”

Moonlight’s ears had gone flat. She looked faintly sick. As for me, seeing the image of what Trixie had described to me all those months ago was even worse than hearing about it.

“I remember,” I said, in a hollow voice.

The scene changed again, now showing Star Glider, with a bandaged head, lying unconscious in a hospital bed, and Trixie running in the opposite direction, a hefty sack of bits sitting at the bedside, while a doctor and nurse tried to call her back.

“She was sent to the hospital for her injury,” said Trixie, her voice constricted. “The doctors couldn’t be certain whether or not she’d pull through. I should have stayed by her bedside, as I had always done when she was with me, but I was too cowardly. I ran away. I consoled myself by saying that I had to keep going, to earn more for the day when she caught up to me, even if it may not happen. Since then, I couldn’t bear to set hoof in Manehattan again, but I still made sure to leave a trail of my wanderings to ensure she knew where to find me one day, if she was still alive, and didn’t hate me for what happened.”

She turned her wet eyes on Moonlight, who sat as if transfixed. As for me, my jaw fell open, as I began to understand the truth at last.

“You mean,” I said, slowly, “Moonlight...is Star Glider?”

Trixie nodded slowly.

This...this couldn’t be real!

This was unbelievable!

What kind of soap opera world had I fallen into?

Trixie’s long-lost friend, thought to be dead, had been my dear friend and next-door neighbor all along?

Serendipity knew no bounds!

I gazed, open-mouthed, from Trixie to Moonlight, who still looked nothing short of mystified.

“Star Glider?” she muttered. “My name...was Star Glider? I guess it’s pretty, but I don’t know...”

“Wait here,” Trixie said. “I want to show you something.”

She got up from the couch and walked out the door, leaving the two of us behind. 

There was an awkward silence between me and my friend. It wasn’t an easy thing, finding out that someone you thought you knew had such incredible secrets. This wasn’t nearly as unbelievable as figuring out that other worlds exist, or that Pinkie Pie had saved the world, but it definitely ranked high on my list of unbelievable things. What did one say after a revelation of this magnitude? 

Soon, Trixie returned. She was carrying a framed photograph in her magic.

“Here,” she said, holding it out to us. “Look at that.”

Moonlight and I leaned forward to look, and both of us gaped.

A slightly younger Trixie, her mane shorter, wearing a different cloak and hat than the one I was used to, was giving a one-legged hug to an even younger mare who was unmistakably Moonlight, both mares beaming at the camera. The Moonlight in the picture had the same slim figure, the same white coat, the same forget-me-not blue color in her mane, tail, and eyes. Even the mane style was the same: a loose ponytail. 

And the cutie mark?

A winged star.

The exact same that adorned Moonlight’s flank.

I looked numbly at Trixie.

“It is her,” I murmured. “I can’t believe it…”

Moonlight stared into her own face, looking from it to Trixie.

“This is a nice photo,” she said.

Trixie smiled fondly.

“That’s who you were: Star Glider, a sweet, gentle lamb of a filly, full of kindness and affection. You were my traveling buddy for a time, keeping me company on the road. You used to call me Trix. You came to see all of my shows and always cheered the loudest for me.”

Here, Trixie’s smile vanished.

“But then...I lost you,” she went on, sorrowfully. “At least, I thought I had, and I did by my own doing. That’s why you ended up in the hospital, and why you woke up all alone. It’s because I gave up too easily. I should have been there for you, so you wouldn’t have felt so alone. I’m so sorry...”

Tears began spilling down Trixie’s cheeks again as she looked down at the floor. She looked up, however, when Moonlight gently wiped her cheek with her wing.

“Don’t cry,” she said. “You still made sure I wasn’t left wanting with the money you left behind. Even if you became a deja vu to me, you still cared about me, Trixie, and I’ll always be grateful for that.”

Trixie’s lip trembled again.

“You really are the same filly I remember,” she said, with a sad smile. “Always doing your best to cheer me up when I was down.”

Moonlight smiled back. Trixie put her hooves to her shoulders and looked her up and down.

“And just look at you,” she said, warmly. “You’ve grown into such a pretty mare since I last saw you. You’re still so thin, though,” she added, with a chuckle, looking at Moonlight’s flat stomach. “You always had such a good appetite, but you never gained a pound. You were one of the lucky ones.”

Moonlight giggled. I could feel my heart growing warmer and warmer at how well they were getting along, even if my pegasus friend couldn’t properly recall her old friend.

“I thought you were a little odd at first,” said Moonlight. “Screaming at the sight of me and acting like I was a ghost.”

“Not one of my finer moments,” Trixie mumbled, blushing.

“But you really must be a kind pony to care about me so much,” said Moonlight, smiling gently. “I just wish I could remember what it used to be like.”

She then looked at me, her smile fading a little as she asked,

“Do you think I’ll ever remember who I was, Dave? I know the doctors said I might, but it never hurts to have a second opinion, right?”

I felt my own smile fade away. It hurt me to disappoint her, but what could I say?

“I don’t know,” I said, sadly. “I’m not a doctor, so I can’t really give a professional opinion. Sometimes people do get their memories back, but not after a long time. Not every case of amnesia is the same.”

Moonlight’s ears dropped. So did Trixie’s.

“Oh,” said Moonlight, quietly. “So, we can’t be the friends we used to be, before I forgot?”

Trixie looked downcast.

“Well, now, I wouldn’t say that,” I said, a new idea striking me.

They both looked up at me. 

“I know it won’t be the same as it was, but it doesn’t mean you can’t still be friends now. It might mean starting over from the beginning, but you can still be there for each other, like you used to. And who knows?” I added, hopefully. “Maybe someday, you’ll remember things from being with Trixie. Having her around could help your memory.”

Trixie and Moonlight looked at each other, looking more hopeful.

“Would that be all right with you?” Trixie asked. “Starting over? I mean, it might take me some time to get used to your new name, but-”

“It’s ok,” said Moonlight. “Even if I’m Moonlight, you can call me Star Glider if you want. I’m more than willing to be your friend, even if it’s for the first time all over again.”

Trixie beamed, her eyes overflowing again. Wordlessly, she opened her forelegs to Moonlight. My young friend was not slow in her response.The two embraced, tears spilling down Trixie’s cheeks.

My heart was feeling warm inside at the sight. I thought it best to leave them to it and give them some space, but I felt a pull at my wrist. Trixie was beckoning me over to them with her magic. I knelt down beside the two of them, both smiling warmly at me. 

“Thank you, Dave,” said Trixie, “for looking after my dear friend, even though you didn’t know who she was. I owe you for so much already, but this is something I shall never, ever forget.”

“Thanks, Dave,” said Moonlight, “for being the first friend I ever made as the ‘new me’. I’ll never forget when you comforted me through that terrible storm.”

They both put a foreleg around me, pulling me into their hug. I drew an arm around both of them in turn, returning their sweet gesture as they nestled up against me. If I said I didn’t shed a tear or two in that moment. I’d be a liar.

"Wait,” Trixie said, while in the embrace, “does this mean that you don’t remember when I accidentally scorched your mane with one of my fireworks?"

Friday, March 15
> A Great and Powerful Friendship Rekindled
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The next day dawned bright and clear. One would never think, to look at it, that the day before had concerned such an extraordinary revelation as the true identity of my lovable neighbor. It made me wonder how anypony else would take the news, since they weren’t as versed in her past as Trixie and I. Perhaps it was best to just leave matters as they were. There was no need to bring it up to ponies who knew nothing about it.

When I went out to get the morning mail, I found that Trixie’s caravan had been parked right between our two houses, with plenty of room to spare. It made me smile to look at it. All she needed was her own mailbox (extravagantly decorated, of course) for the image to be complete. I’d offered to let Trixie spend the night in my house, and Moonlight did the same, but she’d graciously declined both offers, at least for the first night, she said.

That wasn’t all to be seen, though. Scootaloo and Dinky were standing before it, gazing at it in wonder.

“Morning, girls!” I called.

They both jumped and turned around to look at me. It seemed as though the unexpected sight of the caravan had put them in a trance.

“Hi, Dave!” said Dinky.

“Hey, Dave,” said Scootaloo. “We saw Trixie’s wagon out here yesterday, but we didn’t think she’d park right in our neighborhood.”

“Is she stopping by for a visit?” Dinky asked.

“Yep,” I said. “She’s finished her last tour, and is on vacation right now.”

“Ooh!” Dinky squeaked excitedly. “Do you think she’ll put on another show in Ponyville?”

“Maybe,” I said, “but I’m pretty sure she just wants to kick back and relax for now, so I’d leave that up to her to decide, if she’s up for it.”

“Oh, okay,” said Dinky, looking only faintly disappointed.

“By the way, you two,” I said, remembering suddenly, “the sign-ups for the concert ended yesterday, didn’t they?”

“Yeah!” said Scootaloo. “Sweetie Belle’s got the final list of acts, and we’re planning to visit Miss Octavia later to see what to do next, now that we’ve got all of them. Think you could join us there for 3? That’s when she said we could drop by.”

“Sure thing!” I said. “With the new scooter you two got me, I’ll be there in a jiffy when it’s time.”

“Great!” said Scootaloo. “See ya then, Dave!”

“Bye!” said Dinky.

“Bye, you two,” I said, and the two fillies scampered off, talking excitedly.

Barely 10 seconds elapsed since the two disappeared before the door to the caravan swung open. Yawning, and with a tasseled nightcap perched on her head, Trixie stepped out to blink in the sunlight.

“Morning, oh Great and Powerful One,” I said, wryly.

Trixie grinned drowsily.

“Good morning,” she said. “I’m used to waking up to the sound of birds singing or of early morning traffic, but I can’t remember the last time my slumber was broken by the loud voices of foals outside my door.”

“Really?” I asked. “Even in your line of work?”

“Surprising, I know,” said Trixie.

“Well, those were my neighbors’ foals,” I said. “I had to tell them you were on vacation, and that it’d be up to you if you wanted to perform while you were here.”

Trixie smiled.

“How sweet of you to do that for me,” she said. “Well, I shan’t leave them disappointed. When the time comes, and when Ponyville least expects it, I shall grace them once again with a spectacular exhibition of unparalleled prestidigitation!”

“That’s a mouthful right there.”

Both of us turned to see Moonlight, who had stepped out of her house and was grinning at the pair of us.

“Good morning, Moonlight!”

“Good morning, Star Glider!”

Trixie and I had spoken at the same time, so the two names got jumbled together. We stared at each other, then laughed. Moonlight giggled.

“Morning, Dave, Trixie. I just wanted to let you guys know I’ll be busy this afternoon. The Cakes are gonna be busy with preparations for their vacation, so I agreed to help Pinkie run the counter while she handles the kitchen.”

“All right,” I said. “Thanks for the head’s up.”

“You work at Sugarcube Corner now?” Trixie asked.

“Mm-hmm,” said Moonlight. “I usually help out with whatever Pinkie or the Cakes need done, so I’m kind of all over the place.”

“You always were an industrious thinker,” Trixie said, fondly. “Why don’t I go with you when you head for work and keep you company? It’ll give me a chance to catch up on what you’ve been up to here in Ponyville.”

“Sure!” said Moonlight. “That’d be a great idea! I’m supposed to be there for 1 o’clock, just after lunch.”

“Wonderful!” said Trixie. “Perhaps the three of us could go grab a bite before then, and I’ll walk over with you afterwards? Say, noon-ish?” 

She looked inquiringly at me.

“That sounds like a great idea!” I said. “I’ve got something at 3, but I’d be delighted to join you both!”

“Consider it done, then,” said Trixie, triumphantly. “Now, if you both will excuse me, I need to freshen up. Adieu for now.”

She bowed her head grandly, making the tassel of her nightcap wobble, and retreated back into her caravan. Moonlight giggled, and the two of us went back into our houses to prepare for another day.


***


“...So there was no way I was ever going to use live badgers in my show again after that.”

The three of us had decided to have lunch at Ponyville’s main outdoor cafe.  On our way there, we’d attracted quite a bit of attention, having The Great and Powerful Trixie in our midst. Heads turned, excited talk was thrown about, and one or two even asked Trixie for her autograph, which she did while still chatting with the pair of us, as though it were second-nature.

Trixie was keeping Moonlight and me in stitches with anecdotes about past shows while we ate, and had even treated us to smoothies to go with our meal.

“One of the biggest fiascos I ever had to deal with onstage,” Trixie said.

“Well, with that much coffee ice cream, of course it’s not gonna be pretty,” I said, chuckling.

“I wish I’d realized that sooner,” said Trixie, meekly. 

Moonlight giggled.

“Your shows sound like so much fun,” she said. “Were they like that when I was the old me?”

“My magic has always been spectacular,” said Trixie, grandly, “but time and experience have greatly enhanced my repertoire.”

“Wow! I really hope I’ll be able to catch one, because I kept missing out the last time you were here.”

She wasn’t kidding. If not for the unusually coincidental circumstances that prevented her and Trixie from meeting face-to-face before yesterday, we probably would’ve had the revelation a long time ago.

“Fret not, my dear friend,” said Trixie. “The Great and Forethinking Trixie will ensure that you have a front-row seat at her next performance!”

“That’d be wonderful!” said Moonlight, gleefully.

“So, what have you got planned today, Dave?” Trixie asked, after taking a sip of her peach smoothie.

“Well, at 3, I’m meeting my friends at Octavia and Vinyl Scratch’s house,” I said.

Trixie raised an eyebrow.

“So those two really are living together?” she asked.

“You know them?” I asked in return.

“In a manner of speaking,” said Trixie. “I met Octavia at the Brimstone Lounge, since we were both performing there. I admire her skill in cello playing; the Great and Powerful Trixie knows a master when she sees one.”

“Of course,” I said.

“She told me about her DJ friend,” Trixie went on. “I’ve never seen a performance by her, but Octavia told me her shows were ‘something else, if you don’t mind going deaf for an hour or two.’”

“That’s one way of putting it,” I said, grimly. “Vinyl’s fun to hang out with, but she’s definitely not someone who wants a quiet life, though it looks like Octavia knows how to bear with it. She also told me she wants Vinyl away from the squalor of her old apartment, which is why she suggested they move in together.”

“I see,” said Trixie. “Wonders never cease. The extraordinary things ponies are willing to do for those they care about.”

She glanced over at Moonlight, who was taking a sip of her own smoothie and didn’t notice. I felt I understood what that look meant. Moonlight had gone above and beyond to defend Trixie from heckling, and had been repaid with a coma and amnesia.

The rest of lunch passed amicably, trading anecdotes of what each of us had been up to. Trixie got very interested when Moonlight brought up Almond, and the fact that she was blushing when she did didn’t escape the notice of my magician friend. From the twinkle in her eyes as she pressed Moonlight for details, one would think that she was trying to find out when the two were going to get married. Of course, since Moonlight was only just starting to get to know Trixie again, the latter was in no danger of being playfully hit or having something thrown at her for dropping such hints. Lucky her. 

One o’clock was drawing near, and Trixie had settled our bill a while ago; we’d just been sitting and shooting the breeze in the meantime. Since we were going our separate ways for now, I bid my female friend adieu, saying I might pop in after my appointment at Octavia and Vinyl’s house was over to see how they were doing, which quite agreed with them, and we headed off, me heading for home, and Trixie and Moonlight heading for Sugarcube Corner.


***


“...Would you like to swing on a star
Carry moonbeams home in a jar...”

I decided to put in some extra music practice before heading over, in case Octavia and Vinyl wanted to check my progress and see how I was coming along. I’m not quite sure what it was that had driven me to choose this song, but after taking time away from my piano, as per Moonlight’s suggestion, and spending time with Applejack, it had somehow made the pieces click in my brain. It was something classical, and a bit jaunty as well. And also, for some inexplicable reason, it spoke to me.

The remaining time seemed to fly away, and soon it was time to head over. I grabbed the sheet music for the song, folded it carefully, and tucked it away in my pocket. It didn’t feel safe holding it in my hand while I was also manning the handlebars. Then, I went out to grab my new scooter, started up the motor, and headed off towards Ponyville.

It was definitely a lot faster than going on foot, and a lot more refreshing, too, getting a nice breeze in my face. If I hadn’t put in a practice run when Scootaloo and Dinky first brought it over, I might have taken quite a few fumbles. However, despite a few bumps and jerks, I managed to make it to Ponyville in one piece. 

As soon as I rolled in, ponies caught sight of me, stopping in their tracks to stare at my new ride. I wouldn’t have expected anything less, since it was the first time I was coming down the street on anything other than my own two feet. Some continued to stare, while others began talking aloud.

“Wow, look at that!”

“Where’d he get something like that?”

“Sweet ride!”

“Looks like Scootaloo’s not the only scooter rider in town now.”

I couldn’t help feeling a flush of pride at this. I wasn’t trying to be vain, but it felt gratifying that Scootaloo and Dinky’s gift was making a good impression on everypony.

“Look at him, all high and mighty on his personal chariot! Too important to walk anymore? Trying to be superior to everypony?”

I stepped on the brakes and skidded to a halt. Utterly perplexed, I looked around to see who had said that. It sounded like a stallion, but everypony nearby looked just as bewildered as I was.

“Who said that?” somepony asked.

“I didn’t see who.”

“They sounded very rude, though.”

“Yeah, I like Dave’s new scooter.”

“It’s different, but it’s nothing to jeer about.”

The talk broke down into general conversational babble again as everypony went their way. I started the motor up again and continued on, still a bit befuddled. More than the abrupt, jeering nature of the mystery voice, I had the odd sensation that I’d heard it before, but where?

“Hey, Dave!”

I jumped, nearly jerking the handlebars the wrong way. Looking down, I saw my four Crusader friends in the familiar scooter-wagon train, riding beside me. Once again, Sweetie Belle was holding a stack of papers, though much less ponderous than last time.

“Hello, girls,” I said.

“Wow, you were right, Scootaloo,” said Apple Bloom. “That is an amazin’ scooter!”

“And now he can keep up with us when you go full throttle,” said Sweetie Belle.

Scootaloo rolled her eyes as Dinky giggled.

“How’s it handling, Dave?” Scootaloo asked.

“Pretty good,” I said. “I doubt I could ever drive as well as you, though.”

“Sure you could!” said Scootaloo. “All you need is some good practice, a need for speed, and a love of thrills!”

“Er, I think I’ll stick to the safe and steady way for now,” I said.

“Suit yourself,” said Scootaloo, shrugging, “but if you ever want to learn advanced scooter techniques, let me know, and I’ll be glad to teach ya!”

“Duly noted,” I said.

(I think I’d just be setting myself up for spills rather than thrills if I went that route.)

“Is what Scoot and Dinky’s been sayin’ true?” Apple Bloom asked. “Is Trixie back in town?”

“She is,” I said. “She finished her last tour, and she’s now on vacation, so to speak, so I wouldn’t go pestering her to do any magic tricks unless she’s in the mood for it.”

“Gotcha,” said Apple Bloom. “Granny always says, ‘save the best for when it’s ripe, or you’ll get sour apples’.”

“Wise words,” I said, pretty sure I knew what they meant.

Soon, we arrived at Octavia and Vinyl’s home, where we all dismounted from our separate conveyances. Instead of knocking this time, I rang the doorbell, which produced one of the most striking sounds I’d ever heard. It still had the ‘ding-dong’ of a traditional bell, but it was backed by two very pronounced bass beats. Immediately following it came a clatter and a cry of surprise. The girls and I stared at each other, startled.

We could hear some muffled conversation, and a minute or two later, the door opened, and Vinyl appeared, grinning.

“‘Sup, Crusaders, D-Meister? Come on in!”

She stepped aside, and we stepped in. There, we saw Octavia hurriedly wiping down the coffee table with a towel, where a tea tray was sitting. It looked like the doorbell ringing had startled her, making her spill what seemed to be cocoa, rather than tea. She looked up as we approached, giving us a genial but embarrassed smile.

“Hello,” she said. “So sorry about this.”

“I think I should be the one apologizing, Octavia,” I said, meekly. “I didn’t realize the doorbell would startle you.”

“Oh, don’t apologize, dear,” said Octavia, carelessly. “I told Vinyl we needed a less, *ahem*, alarming doorbell, but it seems my suggestion went unnoticed.”

She shot a nasty look at Vinyl, who didn’t look remotely abashed.

“I figured we’d need something that would get our attention even if we were practicing,” she said. “We may be artists, but we shouldn’t be inhospitable. What kind of neighbors would we be if we left guests waiting too long out on the doorstep?” she added, in an exaggeratedly offended tone.

Octavia rolled her eyes and scoffed. I remembered Vinyl pulling a similar ‘model host’ routine the last time we came to visit, and this one seemed to be having the same effect of getting under Octavia’s skin without offering her a proper rebuttal in front of guests. She finished wiping up, disposed of the sodden towel, and, turning back to us with a gracious smile, bid us to make ourselves at home, which we did.

“So everypony who wished to take part in your concert has signed up?” Octavia asked, once the cups had been doled out.

“Yep!” said Sweetie Belle. “I’ve got the final list of performers and their acts right here.”

She handed Octavia a clipboard that had been mixed in with the papers she had brought. Before Octavia could take it, it was seized in Vinyl’s magic, and she held it up between the pair of them, earning her a funny look from the classy cellist.

“What?” Vinyl asked, innocently. “Just thought I’d make it easier for both of us to read, and you don’t have to put down your cocoa.”

Octavia merely shook her head, and the two looked over the list of acts, reading them out aloud.

“‘Apple Bloom: Harmonica, Dave: Piano, Dinky: Singing, Scootaloo: Drums, Pinkie Pie: ‘The Pink Parade’?”

“What does that mean?” Vinyl asked, eyebrow raised.

“No idea,” said Dinky, shrugging. “All Pinkie said was she was ‘getting the old crew back together’ or something. She never really explains anything.”

“I know that too well,” I said. “I’m sure we’ll know once it’s time. Continue, please.”

“‘Diamond Tiara: Electric Guitar’-”

“Hold on, what?!” I interrupted, bewildered. “Diamond Tiara can play the electric guitar?”

“She said it was gonna be her act,” said Apple Bloom. “She didn’t really go into much detail either.”

“She just said to ‘be ready to be wowed’,” said Scootaloo, making air quotes with her hooves.

“O-kay then,” I said, bemused. “Doesn’t sound like she’s up to any funny business. Guess we’ll see. Sorry for interrupting. Please, go on.”

“No worries,” said Octavia. “‘Silver Spoon: Musical Spoons, and finally, Rarity and the Ponytones: Acapella.’”

“Rarity and the what?” I asked.

“I don’t know,” said Sweetie Belle. “I asked Rarity about it, and she just said she ‘didn’t want to ruin the surprise’. She said it was something she’d been brainstorming for a long time.”

“Huh,” I said. “Well, it sounds like we’ve got quite a few acts lined up, mysterious as a few of them sound.”

“Indeed,” said Octavia. “This should make for an interesting concert, with all of these performances.”

“A real hodgepodge of genres,” said Vinyl. “I like it!”

“And have you all gotten started on finding the songs you wish to perform?” Octavia asked.

We all nodded.

“I’ve got a pretty good idea of what I want to play,” I said, producing the sheet music I’d brought.

“Us too!” said Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and Dinky together, as Sweetie Belle held up the rest of the papers she’d brought.

“Excellent,” said Octavia. “Let’s have a look.”

She was handed the music, and she and Vinyl flipped through them.

“Really narrowed it down, didn’t ya?” Vinyl asked, approvingly. “Not bad.”

“Just be sure that these are the songs you definitely want to perform for the concert,” said Octavia, handing them back. “As I said, you don’t want to get too overconfident, only to change your mind at the last minute.”

We all nodded to show we understood.

“And you’re still intent on working behind-the-scenes, Sweetie Belle?” Octavia asked.

“Uh-huh,” said Sweetie Belle.

“All right,” said Octavia. “Well, then, at this stage, the next step should be-”

“Getting all the technical stuff set up,” Vinyl interjected. “You guys say you wanna perform at Ponyville Park, yeah? Well, we gotta make sure nopony else is gonna need to use it on the day you host the concert. Trust me: you do not wanna get mixed up in a clash of competing performances. I should know. One time, I was hosting a dance party at the same place a ballroom dance was supposed to be happening. Got no heads-up on that whatsoever, and somehow, it was my fault! The nerve!”

“I quite agree that you deserved some forewarning,” said Octavia, “but that did not give you the right to call the ballroom director...what you called him.”

“He had it coming,” said Vinyl, dismissively. “He started it, getting all up in my face about it. He’s lucky I didn’t say anything about his goofy mustache. Or did I? I can’t remember.”

Octavia tutted and turned her attention back to us.

“As we’re unsure how long it will take to get everything set up for all the various acts, it may take some time to set up a definite date for the concert. Vinyl and I will meet up with everypony else involved to get a good scope of what to expect, and we’ll make preparations accordingly. We’ll need to set up a proper stage that will accommodate everypony.” 

“Gotta work in the lighting and the sound and all the bells and whistles everypony’s gonna need,” said Vinyl. “Depending on how they wanna flare up their acts, of course.”

“That’s right,” said Octavia. “Once all of that is settled, then we’ll know for certain when we shall hold the concert. Leave the technical work to us. You all concentrate on your performances.”

“Got it,” I said, and my four friends nodded to show they understood.

“Great!” said Vinyl, clapping her hooves together. “So, did any of you wanna show off what you picked? Kind of a sneak peek?”

At this, Dinky blushed and bashfully mumbled that she couldn’t. It was hard to hear what she was saying, but it sounded like she wanted to keep her performance a secret for now, since it was ‘special’.

“Perfectly all right, dear,” said Octavia, kindly. “We won’t force you.”

“To be honest,” said Apple Bloom, sheepishly, “none of us were really prepared fer more than showin’ what songs we picked.”

“We forgot to bring our instruments,” said Scootaloo, also sheepish.

“And it’s not like I can haul my piano here,” I said, shrugging.

“No worries,” said Vinyl, waving her hoof airily. “There’s always time for a rehearsal. In the meantime, who’s up for another round of jams, DJ PON3 style?”

My Crusader friends cheered, while Octavia and I exchanged a look of mutual foreboding for our poor eardrums.


***


My ears had only just stopped ringing when I rolled up to Sugarcube Corner. The sun was beginning to go down, and my four fellow Crusaders had headed off to drop their things off at the clubhouse after we left Octavia and Vinyl’s house. I figured I might as well stop in and see how my other friends were doing.

The familiar tinkle of the bell hit my ears as I stepped inside. There were only a few ponies about, and I could already see Trixie sitting by herself at a table close to the counter, where Moonlight was standing. The two were deep in conversation before catching sight of me.

“Hi, Dave!” they said in unison.

“Hello, ladies,” I said. “Hope I’m not interrupting.”

“Not at all,” said Moonlight. “Things are kind of winding down for today, so Trixie and I are just chatting.”

“Hi, Davie!”

In one bound, Pinkie leaped through the door to the kitchen, straight over Moonlight’s head, over the counter, and onto the main floor. I barely had time to open my arms before she grabbed me in the hug I knew was coming, and was able to give her a squeeze in return.

“Hi, Pinkie,” I said. “Been having fun with Moonlight and Trixie?”

“Lots!” said Pinkie, releasing me. “It’s always great getting to know the friend of a friend, or a friend of friends!”

I raised an eyebrow at this.

“Friend of friends?” I repeated.

“Yeah!” said Pinkie. “Moonlight said Trixie was an old friend of hers, and you’re Trixie’s friend too, so that means she’s friends with two of my friends, which makes her a friend of friends! See?”

I don’t think I’d ever been so be-friend-ed in my life.

“I think I do,” I said.

Pinkie smiled proudly.

“I’d better get back to the kitchen,” she said, “but I couldn’t let you drop by without at least a hug.”

“I appreciate that, Pinkie,” I said, ruffling her mane.

And with that, Pinkie crouched low, then bounced backwards back the way she came. Moonlight squeaked and ducked, but my pudgy friend cleared her easily, and even landed within the kitchen doorway on all four hooves. I couldn’t help applauding such a feat, to which she bowed, then went back to her duties. Trixie sat staring after her, looking bemused, but then simply shook her head as I came to sit beside her.

“How’ve you girls been doing?” I asked.

“Quite well,” said Trixie. “I’ve had a very pleasant afternoon with Star and Pinkie, pony-watching and chatting about this and that. Only…”

There was a loud gurgle at that moment, and Trixie, wincing, rubbed her stomach.

“I might have overdone things a little.”

It was only then that I noticed various paper plates and wrappers scattered about Trixie’s table. Plus, she was looking just a little bloated. I looked at Moonlight, who was wearing a sympathetic smile.

“Trixie got a case of the snackies while she was here,” she explained.

“How much did you eat, Trixie?” I asked.

“6 cupcakes, 3 cookies, 4 muffins, and one religieuse,” called Pinkie, promptly.

Trixie’s stomach gurgled again, making her grimace once more.

“Thanks for the reminder,” she mumbled.

“What made you eat so much?” I asked.

“Well, you know how it is,” said Trixie. “You sit around in a cafe or a bakery, talking, when you start to get a little snacky, and since you’re in a place that sells food, it makes it all the easier. I suppose I had a little more than I should have, partly because I wanted to be a good customer for Star.”

“Aw, Trixie, you didn’t have to do that,” said Moonlight. “I mean, it’s very sweet, but I think the fact that you ordered a whole cake to go was enough already.”

I looked over, and could indeed see a sealed box sitting at the empty table beside Trixie.

“Nonsense,” said Trixie, endeavoring to sit up straighter. “You always supported me in our days on the road, and I intend to do the same for our days off the road.”

Moonlight couldn’t help smiling. Neither could I. Silly as it was for Trixie to give herself a stomach ache just to ensure that Moonlight got business, it was also sweet to see what she was willing to do for her friend. However, what Trixie said just then reminded me of a question, and while Moonlight left the counter to talk to Pinkie in the kitchen, I decided to ask,

“You know, Trixie, I forgot to ask: do you remember what Moonlight got her cutie mark for, as Star Glider?”

Trixie didn’t even need time to think, it seemed, and her expression brightened immediately.

“I do! It’s actually rather adorable. Back then, she said she wanted to be my ‘hype mare’.”

I raised an eyebrow.

“Your ‘hype mare’?” I asked.

“That’s right. She drew her own posters advertising my shows, and she’d sometimes lean out the window as we went along, heralding our arrival. ‘Make way for the Great and Powerful Trixie,’ she’d say. It was truly precious. Well, she got her cutie mark from all of that, so I suppose her special talent has to do with promotion.”

A talent for promotion? Now that was interesting.

“It kind of makes sense, actually,” I said, musingly. “She’s been doing some promotional work for Sugarcube Corner here, as far as I understand it, and she came up with the slogan I used on my sign for the Brimstone Lounge.”

“That was her?” Trixie asked, impressed. “Remarkable! It’s just a pity she didn’t come during the grand opening. I’d have met her much sooner, though I doubt I’d have done any better at not causing a scene.”

The two of us shared a laugh, only stopped by another angry growl from Trixie’s gut. Moonlight returned, carrying a glass of water in her wing, within which something was fizzing.

“Here, Trix,” she said. “I asked Pinkie to get you an antacid for your stomach, to help you feel better. Seems the Cakes are well-stocked with them, for when Pinkie bites off more than she can chew, literally.”

“Thank you, Star,” said Trixie, gratefully, taking the glass in her magic. “That’s very sweet of you.”

She gulped down the water, sighed, then let out a belch. Her cheeks going crimson, she slapped a hoof to her mouth. I was trying to stifle a laugh while Moonlight giggled. From the kitchen doorway, I could see Pinkie holding up an ‘8’ scorecard with a cheeky grin on her face.

“Feel better?” I asked.

“Quite a bit better, yes,” said Trixie, still rather pink in the face as she patted her stomach. “So sorry you had to hear that.”

“It’s all right,” said Moonlight. “I’ve heard louder ones from Pinkie.”

“Heyyy, that was only one time!” Pinkie retorted, hooves on her hips.

“One that nopony’s likely to forget, since everypony in all of Sugarcube Corner heard it when it happened,” said Moonlight.

Pinkie simply stuck out her tongue and went back to the kitchen. I knew she didn’t have it in her to stay mad at a friend for long, unless it was over ice cream flavors, and even then, it wouldn’t last.

I decided to stick around with them until closing time, talking about this and that. Trixie had seen Almond himself come to Sugarcube Corner to chat with Moonlight, and had immediately deemed them ‘an adorable pair’ when she watched them interact, and it had apparently taken all she could muster not to butt in and ask questions, as she didn’t want to ‘spoil the moment’. Moonlight simply blushed and waved Trixie’s comments off with her wing. In all honesty, it sounded like Trixie was already planning their wedding.

I updated them on my own affairs, specifically the concert, which made them both genuinely interested.

“You’ll have to let me know when you’ll be performing,” said Trixie, “so I don’t step on your toes and hooves if I decide to perform in the park myself.”

“Will do,” I said, then raised my voice to address Pinkie, “By the way, Pinks?”

“Yeah?” Pinkie asked, poking her head out.

“I’ve been hearing talk of you getting some crew back together for the concert. What’s that about?”

Pinkie grinned slyly.

“Sorry, Davie, can’t say. Nopony likes a ruined surprise, you know? You’ll have to wait and see, but it’ll be worth it, I promise. I just hope they haven’t gotten too rusty. It’s been a while. Might need to break out the good stuff to get them in the right mood.”

And she ducked back inside. Moonlight and Trixie looked at each other, then at me. I simply shook my head.

“I could live to be 100 and still never understand how her mind works,” I said, making them giggle.

Some time later, the clock chimed 9 o’clock. Pinkie poked her head out again and sang,

“Closing time
One last call for tasty treats
So finish your cookies and cakes”

Trixie and I sat up, Trixie grabbing her packaged cake as she did, and Moonlight flew over the counter to join us. Pinkie bounced over to grab all three of us in a tight hug, which only Trixie seemed startled by.

“See you next time!” she said. “Moonlight, we’ll need you here bright and early on Monday, 'cuz it’s gonna be busy-busy when the Cakes leave.”

“I’ll be here, Pinkie, don’t worry,” said Moonlight.

“And if you guys ever need help, I can pitch in if you want,” I said. “Working with Bon Bon gave me a bit of experience, after all.”

“Thanks for offering, Davie!” said Pinkie. “I’ll let you know if we need you. And Trixie, don’t be a stranger while you’re in Ponyville. Drop by anytime!”

“I’ll be sure to,” said Trixie, “if it’s to support my good friend, though I may have to watch myself. Any more orders that aren’t strictly to go, and I might not be able to walk back to my wagon, or even fit through the door.”

She said this in a good-humored tone, so we all shared a laugh, then Pinkie bid the three of us farewell as we made our way back to our neck of the woods, now currently expanded by the presence of my and Moonlight’s great and powerful friend.

Saturday, March 16
> Zap Apple Season Begins
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Another Sunday had come, which meant another visit from Cirrus and/or Nimbus. This time, I prepared some tea, just in case. Even if they couldn’t stay long to hang about, I could always offer them a quick drink before they had to fly off again. Call it a spirit of determined hospitality, but I wanted to keep up a good impression. Plus, I had my latest essay to hand over.

At around 10, there came the telltale knock at my door. I opened it up, and found only one of the brothers standing before me. He was facing me dead-on, with a solemn look on his face, so I couldn’t even see by his cutie mark which one it was. Before I could even look around to find out, he spoke.

“Greetings, Councilstallion. How are you today?”

I was thrown for a loop. It sounded as though two voices were speaking at once, but coming out of one mouth. They were very similar, but distinct enough to create a jarring effect from speaking at the same time

“Er, fine, thanks,” I said. “Good morning, Cirrus. Or, sorry, is it Nimbus?”

“Neither,” said the stallion, with a straight face.

I stared.

“Come again?” I asked.

“Minister Ironmane has deemed it prudent to combine our talents into one pony,” said the stallion, spreading his wings. “Thus, Cirrus and Nimbus have become one. Two mighty and handsome messengers, united in a single body. I am neither one nor the other, but myself. You may call me...Stratus.”

My mouth had fallen open. This couldn’t be real! A fusion pony? What was this, Dragon Ball?

Before I could voice any further on this absurdity, I heard a snicker, and it didn’t come from ‘Stratus’, as he was still looking serious-faced. Looking out and up, I saw Cirrus, recognizable by his wispy-cloud cutie mark, sitting on my roof, chuckling to himself. With the jig up, Nimbus, for so it could only be, broke out chuckling as well.

“Gotcha!” said Cirrus, fluttering down to join his brother. “You wouldn’t believe how long it took to rehearse our lines and get them in perfect sync.”

“Pretty good, huh, Dave?” asked Nimbus.

The numbness from that little stunt was already evaporating, and I couldn’t help grinning as well.

“Pretty good,” I said. “You guys really got me. For a moment, I thought you two really had become one pony.”

“We wouldn’t really do that to you,” said Nimbus, breezily.

“Or to Ironmane,” said Cirrus. “He doesn’t let it on much, but deep down-”

“-he’d miss either one of us if we were gone,” said Nimbus.

“And you probably would, too,” said Cirrus.

“Without a doubt,” I said. “You guys have been making these Sundays memorable, to say the least.”

“Aww, see?” said Cirrus, grinning at his brother. “He’s grown attached to us already.”

“Mission accomplished, I’d say,” said Nimbus.

These guys were just too much.

“Anyways,” said Cirrus, producing a bag and handing it to me, “here’s your weekly dues, Dave.”

“As for news,” said Nimbus, “all’s still well, with the Lounge and with the minister.”

“That’s good to hear,” I said. “And speaking of Minister Ironmane, I’ve got something for you guys to give him: my latest essay.”

“Oh, goody!” said Nimbus.

I handed over the envelope containing my essay, which Nimbus tucked under his wing.

“Ironmane will be glad to get this,” he said. “He loves reading your essays.”

“Well, he loves reading in general,” said Cirrus. “He’ll spend a good hour or so just reading through a single issue of the Canterlot Times, but he’s always had good things to say about your assignments.”

“‘Quite the team, David and Twilight Sparkle’, I heard him say,” said Nimbus. “Is she your writing partner?”

“More like my tutor,” I said. “Most of the credit for my writing goes to her. My assignments wouldn’t be nearly as complete without her help.”

“Always good to give credit where it’s due,” said Cirrus. “Never forget the ponies who helped get you where you are today.”

“And if anypony knows the value of having somepony at your side to give you a hoof-” said Nimbus.

“-you’re looking at them,” the pair said in unison.

“I can believe that,” I said. “I imagine being twins comes with a strong sense of commitment to each other.”

(Kind of like Pinkie and Marble, actually.)

“Of course,” said Cirrus. “And not just to ourselves, but to Ironmane as well.”

“Like the time he almost-” Nimbus began, but Cirrus cleared his throat loudly, cutting him off. “But that’s a story for another time,” he said. “We shouldn’t stick around too much longer, or we’ll be late getting back.”

“All right,” I said, wondering what he had been about to say. “Well, before you guys go, can I get you anything? Some tea or water? I could just bring it out here for you, if you’d like.”

“Well, thanks for the offer!” said Cirrus. “I wouldn’t mind a glass of water.”

“Me neither,” said Nimbus. “All this gabbing and vocal pranking really dries the pipes, you know?”

Quick as I could, I poured out two glasses of cold water, added ice, and brought them out to my two guests. Cirrus and Nimbus gulped them down in grateful unison, then handed the glasses back.

“Much better,” said Cirrus.

“Much obliged,” said Nimbus.

“You’re welcome,” I said. “I’ll see you guys next week.”

“Until then,” said Cirrus, saluting.

“Take care,” said Nimbus, saluting as well, and transferring my essay envelope under his hoof.

Both took off at the same time, disappearing into the clouds. As I put their drinking glasses away in the sink, I couldn’t help wondering about what Nimbus had said. That was the second time he had been about to bring something up about Ironmane, only to have Cirrus cut him off. Was there something to this? Some secret linked with my superior’s past? Or was I just overthinking things?

All of a sudden, a loud voice shattered the silence, making me jump.

“It’s happenin’! It’s happenin’!

I hurried over to the nearest window, threw it open, and looked out. Apple Bloom was galloping towards the house in a high state of excitement.

“What is it, Apple Bloom?” I called. “What’s happening? Is everything okay?”

Apple Bloom skidded to a halt under the window, beaming up at me, her orange eyes twinkling.

“Better than okay, Dave!” she chirped. “The timber wolves were howlin’ last night!”

I stared blankly back at her. That was what had her so excited? Timber wolves howling?

“And that means?” I prompted her.

“It means that the zap apples are comin’!” said Apple Bloom, bouncing up and down in a way that would make Pinkie proud.

I was surprised to hear this at first, but then I remembered what Applejack had said.

“It’s always in the same month, but never the same day. Our first sign will be when the timber wolves start howlin’.”

“That’s right,” I said. “Applejack mentioned something about that, but how does that work? How do the timber wolves know?”

“Ah dunno, but Granny says that’s how it’s always been,” said Apple Bloom. “Every zap apple harvest, the timber wolves start howlin’ when they’re about to grow, and Granny has to keep ‘em away from the farm by bangin’ pots and pans.”

I blinked.

“Keep the wolves away, or the apples?” I asked.

“The wolves, silly,” said Apple Bloom. “Somethin’ about zap apple season makes ‘em restless, so we gotta make sure to keep ‘em away from the farm.”

“And it’s only as long as zap apple season lasts, right?” I asked, warily.

“Yup,” said Apple Bloom, before noticing my expression and adding, “Sorry, Ah forgot. You didn’t have a good experience with timber wolves, didja?”

“Well, if nearly getting eaten alive by them counts as not having a good experience, then no.”

I didn’t say this out loud, so instead, I asked, “So, what comes after?”

“A whole lot of things,” said Apple Bloom. “We’ve got to get everythin’ right so the zap apples taste their best. Why don’t you come along to the farm with me, and Ah can show ya some of what we gotta do? The second sign shouldn’t be long now.”

“Sure, why not? I wouldn’t mind seeing the process. Be right out.”

I closed the window, and wasn’t long in joining Apple Bloom outside. No sooner did I do so than the little filly, with a big smile on her face, started back towards the farm, looking back every now and then to make sure she didn’t leave me behind. It was quite adorable, honestly.


***


The first thing that greeted my eyes as we approached the farm was...unexpected, to say the least.

We were just coming within sight when the wind suddenly picked up, bringing Apple Bloom and me to a halt. I looked up at the sky, and was alarmed to see a thick bank of clouds hovering overhead. It looked like a nasty storm was brewing. I scooped up Apple Bloom in my arms.

“Come on!” I said. “We’d better find somewhere to shelter until it passes!”

“It’s all right, Dave,” said Apple Bloom, sounding downright amused at my panic, while also raising her voice to be heard over the wind. “This happens every zap apple season! We ain’t gonna get rained on! Watch!”

Perplexed, I looked on. The clouds did seem to only be swirling over Sweet Apple Acres. As I watched, a section of trees, barely visible, and apparently lacking any leaves, let off a volley of blue sparks. Almost as soon as they’d come, they disappeared, and the clouds and wind died away as well, leaving everything as calm and serene as it had been only a minute ago.

I stood there, dumbfounded, with Apple Bloom still held in my arms, giggling at my expression.

“What? Huh? How?”

“That’s the magic of zap apples, Dave,” said Apple Bloom, booping my nose with her little hoof.

Numbly, I set her down, and she started off again, while I followed a bit more slowly behind, still wondering what in the world I’d just witnessed.

As we entered Sweet Apple Acres, I looked over at the trees that had been sparking. Empty harvesting buckets had been placed underneath them, and all of them were now sporting large, purplish leaves on their branches. Applejack and Big Mac, both with wind-swept manes, were adding buckets to trees that still didn’t have any underneath.

“Well, there y’are, seedling! What kept ya?”

I looked around, and saw Granny Smith exiting the barn.

“Sorry, Granny,” said Apple Bloom. “Ah wanted to show Dave what zap apple season looks like as it’s happenin’. He got to see the second sign first-hoof!”

Granny looked up and caught sight of me.

“Well, howdy, Davey-boy,” she said, genially.

“Hello, Granny,” I said. “That was quite a storm back there.”

“All part of the process, dearie,” said Granny, pointing her withered hoof towards the newly-leafed trees. “You see them trees out there?”

“The ones that just got leaves?” I asked.

“In just four days, they’ll be covered in ripe zap apples, right where those leaves are.”

“Wow, only four days?” I asked. “That’s pretty quick.”

“Yep,” said Granny, “but they’ve gotta be picked by the fifth day, or they’ll disappear quicker than you can pick ‘em.”

“Wait, they disappear if you don’t pick them quick enough?” I asked, surprised. “Sounds like pretty fickle fruit.”

“Oh, zap apples are mighty partic’lar, you can bet your biscuits,” said Granny. “That’s why you gots to know the ins and outs of how to harvest ‘em and get the best taste out of ‘em.”

“And Granny’s done it long enough to get it perfect,” said Apple Bloom, proudly.

“Aw, now, don’t go butterin’ me up like a flapjack there, Apple Bloom,” said Granny, tousling Apple Bloom’s mane. “Even if it is true,” she added, winking at me.

“Well, if it’s a busy time for you all,” I said, “I definitely don’t want to get in the way of it, but if there’s any way I can help out, I’d be more than happy to.”

“That’s kind of ya t’ offer, Davey-boy,” said Granny. “Ah think we’ll be just fine, now that Apple Bloom’s got a harvest under her belt already. Ah’ve shown her how to make jam, and she took to it like a cat to climbin’.”

Apple Bloom beamed.

“But there is somethin’ you could help us out with, long as yer here,” said Granny. “It’s a big part of every harvest.”

“Of course!” I said, eagerly. “Anything!”


***


When I said ‘anything’, I hadn’t exactly pictured what Granny had in mind.

A ring of full watering cans had been set up in front of the barn. Granny and Apple Bloom had both donned colorful bunny costumes, purple and blue, respectively. I myself was given a pair of fake rabbit ears to wear on my head, which I did, feeling exceptionally foolish. Admittedly, Apple Bloom looked even more adorable than usual in her little bunny suit.

“So, er, what exactly are we doing again?” I asked.

“We’re singin’ to the water,” said Apple Bloom, matter-of-factly.

(I’ve heard of brooks babbling, but never about them being babbled to back.)

“Givin’ the roots of the zap apple trees a sprinklin’ of water that’s been sung to keeps ‘em strong and healthy,” Granny explained. “Encourages ‘em to grow even more apples each year.”

“Is that right?” I asked, bemused.

“Sounds a bit peculiar, Ah know,” said Granny, “but like mah ma used to say, ‘magic is as magic does’.”

“I suppose so,” I said, looking down at the watering cans. “So, what do we sing to the water? Does it have a preference?”

“Oh, nothin’ too fancy,” said Granny. “Ah’ve found that the alphabet usually does the trick: somethin’ simple and familiar.”

“Ah, of course,” I said. “And, how much do we have to do it?”

“Just long enough to sing it once,” said Granny. “You two ready?”

“Ready!” said Apple Bloom.

“Ready,” I said, still unsure.

In the whole of my stay in Equestria, even considering the idea of living among pastel-colored ponies in the first place, this had to be one of the silliest, most embarrassing things I’ve ever had to do: hopping like a bunny around watering cans, wearing bunny ears, singing the alphabet. The best that could be said about this was that we were at least alone, and it was all part of growing zap apples, an important staple of Ponyville’s agriculture. Besides, I did say I’d help with anything.

There was such a thing as being too accommodating.

“...Now I know my ABCs
Next time, won’t you sing with me”

I’d only just finished when I heard a pair of voices snickering. Looking around, I saw Applejack and Big Mac, who had clearly seen enough of what I’d been up to, and were trying to hold back their laughter. I felt my face grow hot.

“Please say you won’t tell anyone about this,” I mumbled.

“Don’t worry, sugarcube,” said Applejack, kindly, though there was still a hint of laughter in her voice. “Mah lips are sealed.”

“Eeyup,” said Big Mac.

“But Ah’ve gotta say,” said Applejack, “Ah don’t think you’ve ever looked cuter.”

“Heh-heh, nope,” chuckled Big Mac.

I didn’t quite know how to respond to that. I knew they were just teasing, but it still felt awkward, even if I did bring it upon myself for volunteering. I just had to remember what Granny said: ‘magic is as magic does’. If this was necessary for the zap apples, who was I to argue?

“Good work, Davey-boy!” said Granny, hopping over and patting me on the arm. “Yer a natural water-singer!”

Apple Bloom giggled.

“Er, thanks, Granny,” I said, handing my fake ears back to her. “Happy to assist. If there’s anything else you guys would like help with during the season, just let me know. I don’t really have anything else going on that I can recall, so I can lend a free hand.”

“Well, ain’t you just the most helpful human we’ve ever met?” said Applejack, nudging my side.

(I’m the only human you’ve ever met, AJ.)

“Very kind of ya, sonny,” said Granny. “If’n you want, you could come with Apple Bloom and me to the market later today. We’ve got some supplies to pick up before the third sign hits. Could happen any moment ‘afore the end of tomorrow.”

“Sure, no problem,” I said. “I’d be happy to.”

(Just as long as it doesn’t involve something like dressing up like a penguin and doing the Macarena in the middle of town.)


***


Around mid-afternoon, I accompanied Granny Smith and Apple Bloom to the Ponyville marketplace. To give them a hand, I picked up a couple shopping baskets so I could ease some of the carrying. As we walked along, ponies greeted the three of us, and I had to keep one of the baskets crooked around my elbow so I could wave with a free hand.

“So, what sort of supplies do you need to make proper zap apple jam?” I asked.

“Well, first off,” said Granny, “we need a good, sturdy pan to cook it in.” 

“Ours go through a lot of use at home,” said Apple Bloom,  “so we’ve got to get a fresh one.”

“Because zap apples prefer a pan made especially for them?” I ventured.

“Exactly!” said Apple Bloom.

“Now yer gettin’ it, sonny-boy,” said Granny, approvingly.

So we stopped by a stall selling pots and pans, and I waited while Granny browsed around to pick one out. They all looked in good shape to me, though I couldn’t help wondering why there was a sign reading ‘You Bite It, You Buy It’, and why the stall keeper was keeping a beady eye on Granny. At last, she found what she was looking for, handed over the bits for it, and Apple Bloom helped her tuck it away in one of her saddle bags.

“Next thing we need,” Granny said, “is some good, fresh honey. That gives the jam a nice, sweet kick to it.”

Now that sounded delicious. So, our next stop was a stall that had several beehives posted around it. Bees were already buzzing about, and I slackened my pace, feeling wary. Apple Bloom noticed.

“What’s wrong, Dave?”

“Sorry,” I muttered. “I just don’t do well with bees.”

“Ah know what you mean,” said Apple Bloom, sympathetically. “We always just leave this bit to Granny. She knows how to talk to the bees best.”

“Oh, well, that’s...Wait, talk to the bees? I thought only Fluttershy did that.”

“Not like that, silly,” said Apple Bloom, and she pointed.

I looked, and a thrill of shock ran through me. Granny’s wrinkled face was covered in a beard of buzzing bees, but she wasn’t paying the least mind about it. On the contrary, she was smiling, and even talking, as though having a conversation with the bees. The stall-pony didn’t look surprised in the slightest, either.

“Granny’s one brave pony,” I muttered. “I’d be out cold before I let that many bees crawl all over my face.”

“Granny found out that you have to be friendly with the bees,” said Apple Bloom. “That way, you get the best honey from them. She’s been payin’ them a visit every time she comes to the market.”

“Is that right?” I said. “Well, wonders never cease in Equestria.”

Eventually, the bees dispersed, and Granny had purchased a good quantity of thick, golden honey. This time, Apple Bloom stored it in her own saddlebags.

“That was some impressive bee diplomacy, Granny,” I said. “I know I could never do that.”

“Aw, it’s nothin’ nopony can’t handle, sugar,” said Granny. “All’s you’ve gotta do is give the bees no reason to be afraid of ya, and you’ll get along as smooth as coffee and cream. ‘Course, Ah don’t drink coffee mahself. Gives me the jitters somethin’ awful, and gets mah dentures a-clatterin’.” 

“Er, right.”

“Now, the last thing we need to pick up is plenty of glass jars to hold the jam in. They keep the flavor sealed for moons. ‘Course, we never know if they’re ready fer service until we bring ‘em home. Some jars just can’t handle the pressure,” she added, with a grim shake of the head.

What pressure? The pressure of being the vessels destined for the almighty zap apple jam? I felt inclined to question Granny about this, when a voice interrupted my thoughts.

“Well, if it ain’t my favorite business partner! How are you, Granny Smith?”

I looked up. Strolling through the main thoroughfare of the market was Filthy Rich, with Diamond Tiara at his side. Spoiled Rich was conspicuously absent.

“Well, how do, Filthy?” called Granny.

“Er, just ‘Rich’, if you don’t mind,” said Filthy Rich, awkwardly. “And how are you doin’, young’in?” he added, smiling down at Apple Bloom.

“Just fine, Mr. Rich, sir,” said Apple Bloom, politely.

I noticed that she was determinedly avoiding looking at Diamond Tiara, who was likewise keeping aloof of her. There was still some suspicion between them after all, even after tensions had cooled down.

“And good day to you too, Dave,” said Filthy Rich, catching sight of me. “Giving Granny Smith a hoof with her shopping?”

“Yes, sir, Fi- er, Mr. Rich,” I said. “I volunteered to give them some help preparing for zap apple season.”

“Oh! It’s happenin’ already?” asked Filthy Rich, eagerly. “I was thinkin’ about askin’, since it was about that time, but I didn’t want to be too pushy.”

“Yup,” said Granny. “In four days time, we’ll be whippin’ up zap apple jam, and the first batch’ll have Barnyard Bargains’ name on it, as promised.”

“Magnificent!” said Filthy Rich, beaming. “I’d better start getting the display ready at the store, and let ponies know the time’s a’coming. I’ll leave y’all to your shopping. Take care, now.”

We had only just started going our separate ways, when Filthy Rich’s voice called out again, this time addressing me.

“Oh, Dave? Could I have a word? I only just remembered something.”

I paused, looking from his expectant face to Granny and Apple Bloom.

“Go ahead, Davey-boy,” said Granny. “We’ll be browsin’ the jars when you get back.”

“Okay, Granny.”

I walked over to Filthy Rich as Granny and Apple Bloom kept on walking.

“Diamond Tiara’s told me about this amateur concert you and your little friends are puttin’ on,” said Rich, patting Diamond Tiara’s head.

“Oh, yeah,” I said. “I’d heard she signed up for it. The electric guitar, I believe?”

“That’s right,” said Filthy Rich, looking proud. “She’s a natural at anythin’ she puts her hooves to, just like her old man.”

I would’ve begged to differ, considering the mishaps she’d had during the Junior Derby, but obviously, I wasn’t about to say anything about it in front of her father. Still, looking at Diamond Tiara’s pampered princess appearance, it was hard to believe she could ever be connected to an instrument as loud and obnoxious as an electric guitar.

“In any case,” said Rich, “I suppose now that you have your acts signed up, you’ll be gettin’ down to settin’ up your venue.”

“Yes, we are,” I said. “Octavia and Vinyl Scratch are taking care of all of that. They’ve got a lot more experience with it than me and the Crusaders, so they agreed to help us.”

“Good to hear. Well, since I have a vested interest in how this concert turns out-”

Here, he put his hoof around his daughter and pulled her into a hug against his side.

“-I wouldn’t mind givin’ y’all a hoof to get things set up. You know, put some bits forward into getting you the equipment you need to put on a proper show, maybe even advertise it once you get a definite performance date. Call it a sponsorship deal.”

“Really?” I asked, amazed. “You’d do that for us?”

“If it’ll help my little girl become a musical star, then of course,” said Rich. “I plan on asking Octavia and Vinyl Scratch, of course, but as the Crusaders’ chaperone, I figured you ought to be in the know as well.”

The Crusaders’ chaperone? Well, I supposed, in a sense, I kind of was, since I was the oldest. It just felt odd being addressed as such, but that wasn’t what was important at the moment.

“That’s very generous of you, Mr. Rich!” I said. “I’m sure everypony would be more than happy knowing we had your esteemed patronage for our humble concert. And I’m sure your daughter’s performance will have them stamping their hooves in the aisles, so to speak.”

I looked down at Diamond Tiara, who glanced up at me, and there was no mistaking the little smile on her face at my words. Filthy Rich looked delighted.

“Thank you kindly, Dave,” he said. “Well, we’d best be off. Don’t wanna keep you from your shoppin’ any longer, but I’ll be in touch about the concert. Come along, Diamond Tiara.”

“Yes, Daddy,” said Diamond Tiara, speaking up for the first time. “See you, Mr. Dave.”

“Bye.”

My head was buzzing as I walked away from the Riches, looking for Granny and Apple Bloom. Filthy Rich, one of the wealthiest ponies in Ponyville, sponsoring our concert? It had seemed such a simple and amateur idea when it was first put to paper, but it was quickly ballooning into something bigger than I had expected. That wasn’t a bad thing, of course, but it was still surprising.

At last, I found them in front of a stall that was boasting pyramids of clear glass jars. Granny was browsing about, while Apple Bloom brought her glass jars to look at. Sometimes, Granny would shake her head, and Apple Bloom put the jar back. Other times, she nodded, and Apple Bloom set the jar in a slowly-growing cluster sitting beside her. The stall pony had a big grin on his face; clearly, Granny was his best customer around this time.

“There y’are,” said Apple Bloom, catching sight of me. “What did Filthy Rich want?”

I was about to tell her, but something told me I shouldn’t keep Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and Dinky out of the loop. They were involved in the concert as well.

“Let’s arrange a Crusaders meeting at the clubhouse,” I said. “Once you and Granny have everything settled, that is. I’ll explain there.”

Apple Bloom looked puzzled at this, but Granny spoke up, making us all jump.

“Welp, Ah think that’ll just about do it fer now,” she said, placing a heap of bits on the stall counter, and looking at the big crowd of jars sitting beside her. “These’ll cover the batch of jam for Filthy’s store, at any rate. You don’t mind giving us a hoof carryin’ these, do you, Davey-boy?”

“Of course not,” I said, bending down to start packing them up. “I’d never force you to carry them all back yourself.”

Smiling, Granny patted me on the head.

“Yer such a gentlecolt, sonny,” she said, fondly. “Ah hope all humans are as helpful as you are.”

(I wish they were, Granny, believe me. Many are, but I wish all of them could be.)

“Now, let’s get all this back to the farm,” Granny said, as I straightened up with my load. “We should still have plenty of pink paint left over for the kitchen when it’s time for jam. Those zap apples do love their polka dots.”

...I wasn’t going to question it. Like Granny said, ‘magic is as magic does’.


***


After I helped Granny and Apple Bloom bring their zap apple supplies home, I went to the Hooves’ house to fetch Scootaloo and Dinky for the meeting. Finding they were out, I hopped on my scooter to search around Ponyville for them. On my way through, I had to swerve and brake hard to avoid bumping into Mr. and Mrs. Cake, who were laden with saddlebags filled with purchases, and Pound and Pumpkin Cake in saddle carriers.

“Whoops! Sorry, Mr. and Mrs. C,” I said.

“Oh, don’t fret, dearie,” said Mrs. Cake, though both she and her husband looked a little frazzled from the surprise. “We’ve gotten used to that sort of thing, the way Scootaloo speeds through. You’ve got good reflexes there.”

“Heh, thanks,” I said. “That reminds me: you’re all going to be away for a bit, right?”

“That’s right,” said Mr. Cake. “The four of us will be out for a week, and Pinkie and Moonlight will be minding Sugarcube Corner.”

“It’s just been so long since we had some time away,” said Mrs. Cake. “Time that didn’t have anything to do with baking.”

“And we figured we were about due,” said Mr. Cake. “And we know we can leave everything in the girls’ capable hooves.”

“That’s great,” I said. “Well, if I don’t see you guys before you head out, I hope you have a nice, relaxing vacation.”

“Oh, thank you, Dave,” said Mrs. Cake, both her and Mr. Cake giving me a kind smile.

“And that goes for you two as well,” I said, leaning over and booping the twins on their noses.

That set them giggling, and amid that good cheer, I bid goodbye to the Cakes and went back on my way.

I didn’t have to search for much longer, as I found Scootaloo and Dinky at Ponyville Park, taking turns riding Scootaloo’s scooter. Of course, Scoot couldn’t help showing off a little by using her wings to perform a few nifty tricks, but Dinky looked more impressed than envious. I informed the two that they were wanted for an impromptu Crusader meeting, and they wasted no time in heading off for the clubhouse, though Scootaloo said they’d fetch Sweetie Belle, so I didn’t need to worry about doing it myself. 

I rode my way back, and despite making a straight beeline there, the others had evidently gotten lucky in finding Sweetie Belle, as they were already waiting for me. It seemed that no matter how good my new ride was, it just couldn’t compare with the power of Scootaloo’s wings. So, knowing they must be wondering what I’d called them for, I cut straight to the point and informed them of my meeting with Filthy Rich.

“Filthy Rich wants to sponsor our concert?” Sweetie Belle asked, incredulously.

“That’s what he said,” I said. “Since Diamond Tiara’s performing in it, he said he has a vested interest in how it turns out, so he wants to enhance it a bit.”

“Tch, figures,” scoffed Scootaloo. “The only reason he’s offering is because his ‘princess’ is in it. He probably wants her to steal the show from the rest of us.”

“Mr. Rich is always so nice, though,” said Dinky, mildly. “He’s a lot nicer than Mrs. Rich, anyway.”

The four fillies all shifted and pulled faces at the mention of Spoiled Rich. Seems I wasn’t the only one who didn’t have a good impression of her.

“Can’t argue with that,” said Scootaloo. “But Diamond Tiara pretty much has her dad wrapped around her hoof, so if she wants to be the star, he’ll make her the star. And this is supposed to help Dave get his cutie mark. How’s he going to do that if somepony else gets the spotlight?”

“Now, now, Scootaloo,” I said, feeling another twinge over the whole ‘Dave’s cutie mark’ thing. “It’s not fair to immediately jump to the worst conclusions just because Diamond Tiara and her family are involved. We already agreed we’d be on the lookout just in case, but I don’t think Filthy Rich would allow anything unscrupulous to happen. At least, Octavia and Vinyl wouldn’t allow it to happen, so if they agree to let him sponsor us, we should trust their judgment.”

Scootaloo still didn’t look entirely convinced, but she didn’t say anything.

“Ah’m not entirely sold on Diamond Tiara being in our concert either,” said Apple Bloom, “but Ah trust Filthy Rich more than Ah trust her. His family’s been partners with ours fer ages. He wouldn’t make a mess of things if an Apple were part of the show.”

“That’s true,” I said.

Sweetie Belle and Dinky both looked mollified at this.

“I guess,” mumbled Scootaloo.

“Hey, chin up, Scoot,” I said, putting my hand under her chin to tilt her head up. “We’re still gonna put on a great show regardless. This isn’t simply about getting a cutie mark, but having a good time and giving a good performance for Ponyville.”

Scootaloo looked at me for a moment or two in silence, then grinned a little.

“Yeah, you’re right,” she said. “I can’t stew over Diamond Tiara when I’ve got a wicked drum solo to perfect.”

“That’s the spirit,” I said. “And besides, zap apple season’s right around the corner, too.”

“We heard!’ squeaked Dinky, excitedly. “We came by to see Apple Bloom before she went to the market, and she said the zap apples are coming!”

“Mmm, I can already taste that zap apple jam,” said Sweetie Belle, rubbing her stomach with a dreamy look on her face.

“Me too,” said Scootaloo. “And you’re helping out this season, right, Dave?” she added, looking at me. “Apple Bloom said you were there at the farm earlier.”

“Well, kind of,” I said. “I offered to lend a hand if Granny needed some extra assistance.”

“Dave’s been a big help,” said Apple Bloom. “He helped us get our jam-makin’ supplies. That’s when we ran into Filthy Rich.”

“Did you sing to the water, too?” Dinky asked me, giggling.

I stared at her, surprised.

“You know about that?” I asked.

“Sure,” said Sweetie Belle. “Granny Smith told our class all about the things you have to do for zap apples, and last season, we all helped out.”

“It was pretty silly, but pretty fun, too,” said Scootaloo.

“And Mr. Rich even made Diamond Tiara join in,” said Dinky.

“Served her right fer bein’ rude to her pa’s best business partner,” said Apple Bloom.

This brought out a chorus of giggles from my Crusader friends. I was honestly astonished. The girls all knew about that water singing business, and had even joined in? Well, that put things in perspective. There was something about experiencing something awkward, then realizing your friends had done so as well. That made it less embarrassing, and more amusing to think about afterwards. 

Besides, thinking about it, hopping around watering cans wearing bunny ears and singing the alphabet hadn’t been the weirdest thing that had ever happened to me in Equestria. Heck, just two days ago, I found out my neighbor and good friend was an amnesiac and the former traveling companion of a stage magician. Wonders never ceased in Equestria.

One thing stuck out to me, though. Apple Bloom said Diamond Tiara had been rude to Granny Smith, her dad’s business partner. Surely she would’ve shown her more respect if the ties between Sweet Apple Acres and Barnyard Bargains was so strong. It was obvious that it couldn't have come from Filthy Rich, since Dinky said he forced her to sing to the water too. I’d already suspected that she might have gotten her attitude problems from her mother, even from a single meeting with her, but I didn’t realize it could extend to such blatant disrespect. Was Filthy Rich aware of it himself?

“Dave? You okay?”

I started. I must’ve been staring off into space. All four Crusaders were looking at me.

“What? Oh! Yeah, sorry. I was just lost in thought for a bit.”

“You do that a lot, don’t you?” asked Sweetie Belle.

“I guess,” I said, shrugging. “It just happens.”

“Are we going to get like that when we’re as old as you?” Dinky asked, innocently.

“As old as me?” I repeated, eyebrow raised. “Excuse me? I’d hardly call 20 old, missy.”

“Whatever you say, ‘Grandpa Dave’,” snickered Scootaloo.

This set the girls giggling again. Honestly, I couldn’t even muster up the nerve to be angry with them, and cracked a grin as well. How could I ever stay mad at such sweet and silly friends?

Sunday, March 17