The Loophole
"You what?!" A dozen levitating books clattered to the library floor.
"We would like to date, Twilight," repeated Rarity. Spike stood beside her, holding her forehoof in his claws.
"You can't be serious," said Twilight Sparkle, shaking her head as though she'd just received a concussion. "This is a joke, right? This is a joke. You're both joking right now."
Spike's eyes narrowed. "Ugh. I knew you would be like this."
Twilight ignored Spike's reaction and walked up to face her unicorn friend. "Rarity, he's eight years younger than you! It's completely out of the question," she said.
Rarity turned to face the dragon by her side. "Well, he may be a bit on the young side, but I for one believe that Spike is old enough to be dating now. Hasn't he shown that level of maturity on our recent trip to the Dragonlands?"
"No, he hasn't. He's too young, Rarity," said Twilight, still wearing a stunned expression on her face. "I mean... to be honest, this has totally blindsided me. I never thought you were actually interested in him!"
"Hay!" said Spike, with an angry frown.
"Spike, you're a foal!" said Twilight. "Crushing on an older mare is cute, but an actual relationship? For real? You're not cognitively mature enough for that kind of emotional rollercoaster."
"Rarity's already a close friend. It's fine if things don't work out," said Spike. "And you can't exactly talk about relationships like you're some sort of expert."
"That is not the issue we are discussing," said Twilight, her cheeks flushed.
"You allowed things to develop between us over the past two years, Twilight. If you'd had a problem with it, you should have said something much earlier," said Rarity.
Twilight sighed. "You're right, I should have. It just seemed so innocent at the time. I guess I rationalized that Spike wanted to be near you, and it was all in good fun. I never imagined this was going to turn into something serious. I mean, even aside from the age difference he's still a baby dragon, for crying out loud."
"He is a dragon, yes, and we don't know much about how they mature. This could be how we find out," she offered. "I'd think you'd be interested in the discovery."
Twilight shook her head. "No. Spike is basically my little brother, and the decision falls to me. I won't let you do this."
Spike huffed a wisp of smoke from his nostrils. "It's what Rarity wants, and it's what I want. I may work for you, Twilight, and I know you watch over me, but you're not really my Mom. Nopony has legal custody of me because I'm not a quadruped."
"We checked," quipped Rarity, stone-faced.
Twilight's muzzle scrunched up in frustration as she picked fallen a book up off of the floor with her magic. "That's a legal oversight. You're supposed to be under my care by order of Princess Celestia. There aren't any laws about ponies dating prepubescent dragons because this situation has never happened before in the entire history of Equestria!"
"Then let's be reasonable, Twilight. You can't expect to keep us apart all the time," said Rarity, in a soothing timbre. "Spike frequently helps me with my gemstone mining and my dressmaking. Are you going to require us a chaperone every time we're together?"
"I don't need you to stay apart, I just don't want anything romantic happening between the two of you," said Twilight, followed with a deep sigh. "But if your judgment is impaired to the point where you think dating somepony Spike's age is appropriate, trust is not going to cut it. I'm going to have to cast a spell on you both to keep him safe."
"The nerve!" said Rarity, stomping her hoof on the floor. "It's bad enough that you want to control Spike's life as he matures into a young stallion. You have no business monitoring my activities!"
"I won't be monitoring anything. It's just a simple alarm hex. If something inappropriate happens, the hex will trip and I'll be alerted," said Twilight, setting the book back into the bookcase and returning her full attention to her friends. "Hopefully that will be sufficient to discourage you both, and I won't need to decide on any potential consequences for your misbehavior."
"Um, could you define inappropriate?" asked Spike.
"Simple. No physical contact of any sort. And no exposing of... those body parts," said Twilight.
"Oh please, Twilight! That's hardly fair. Spike and I work closely together. Your alarm would go off almost immediately under entirely innocent circumstances," said Rarity.
"That's right," said Spike. "What you're asking for isn't realistic. Besides, we're almost always naked. If something happens, y'know, down there, I can't exactly control it."
"Okay, fine," said Twilight, rolling her eyes. "No contact with any of those places, and no kissing. Furthermore, if you don't make a significant effort to hide your—eww, I can't believe I'm even saying this—parts from each other, then the spell will trigger. Is that clear enough?"
"Rarity can't even kiss me on the cheek anymore? That's not fair," said Spike.
"Guys, the point of this is that you're not supposed to be in a relationship at all! It doesn't matter how you used to interact with each other. This is how it's going to be now," said Twilight, raising her voice as her horn glowed. A magenta aura encircled both Spike and Rarity, then disappeared in a flash of light with a loud 'BEEP' noise.
"So, that's it, then," said Spike, his eyes downcast.
Twilight nodded. "That's it. If it's near to going off, you'll hear a single warning beep. If it does go off, it'll be an alarm loud enough to wake Ponyville."
"Well then. I suppose we'll have to make certain that doesn't happen," said Rarity, a determined look crossing her muzzle.
The couple waited until reaching Rarity's Boutique before either of them spoke.
"I can't believe this. We never should have told her," Spike said the moment Rarity closed the door behind them.
"It's not quite as gloomy as it seems, darling. She'll come around soon enough," said Rarity. "Once she realizes just how deeply and truly I feel for you, your youth will be less of a salient issue. She wants us both to be happy, after all."
"Yeah, but until Twilight gets the proverbial stick out of her butt, what are we supposed to do? No kissing—now that's just cruel," said Spike.
Rarity smiled gently and tapped Spike playfully on the nose. "Good things come to those who wait, my little Spikey-Wikey. However, Twilight's spell does leave a bit of wiggle-room..."
A loud 'BEEP' sounded, and Spike quickly looked downward.
"Oh geez," said Spike, hurriedly moving his claws in the way. "This is already a disaster," he whined.
"My goodness. You know, I think I should make you some pantaloons, like those cute little ones you wore for our Hearth's Warming Eve play. You'll be adorable," said Rarity.
"For wearing in public? I'm not looking forward to explaining those to Mac," said Spike. "But if you think I'm cute, I guess it's worth it, heh. Um, do you have anything I can wear in the meantime?"
"Twin soldiers still at attention? Here," said Rarity, levitating a large blanket over to Spike.
The little dragon gratefully wrapped the blanket around his waist. "Thanks. Rarity, look, I'm really sorry about all this..."
"This is not your fault, Spike," said Rarity, pulling out a little Spike-shaped dress form she'd created just for him.
"I know, but I wanted our relationship to, y'know, have a chance to grow more than this. I don't mean sex or anything, but at least affection," he said. "Not even for me, but for you. I want to be able to share something special with you."
Rarity paused for a moment as she regarded the dress form. "You want to deepen our relationship on the emotional front," she restated.
Spike nodded. "Yeah. I guess we can still go out to eat, and go dancing, and do a lot of stuff together, so it's not the end of Equestria or anything. Maybe we can even cuddle if I'm wearing pants," he said. "Wait, you do like to cuddle, right? Dang it, why did we have to tell Twilight—we never had a chance to do anything together!"
"I very much like intimacy," answered Rarity, "and I'm fairly certain we can do that without Twilight's silly rules getting in the way."
"Once I have pants, anyway," said Spike, clenching the blanket tightly.
"Twilight will soften her position soon. I'm sure our other friends would be willing to talk some sense into her. I doubt anypony else in our circle would take issue with you and I being an item at this point," said Rarity. "Certainly not Fluttershy or Pinkie."
"Yeah, I guess. It is kind of weird, though. I mean, us..." said Spike, rubbing nervously at his neck.
"Because you're a rather young colt? I must admit, I never would have expected this either," said Rarity, while experimentally levitating various kinds of fabric up against the form. "Somewhere along the way 'cute' and 'attractive' crossed paths in my heart, I suppose. But it's you I'm attracted to, Spike, not your age or your species. And although I'm certainly not opposed to the idea, my interest in you isn't specifically about sex, either."
"I know. But, aren't you worried about what ponies will think of you?" Spike asked, his voice soft. "I don't want to, well, mess your life up for you."
"Honestly? Yes, I'm a little concerned. But the fact that you're a dragon is at least as odd as our respective ages. Either way, it doesn't discourage me. I refuse to be ashamed of how I feel about you, Spike," said Rarity. "I've spent many years of my life fighting for the limelight, and I'm not about to hide who I am now that I finally know what I want. And what I want, is to share my life with you."
Spike blushed and looked away, teary-eyed. "Th-thanks," he murmured.
Rarity stopped fussing with the dress form, and looked Spike up and down for a brief moment. "Wait here. I have an idea for—forgive the pun—skirting this ridiculous spell," she said. She quickly ran into the back room and returned with a white hoop skirt.
"What's that for?" asked Spike.
"Toss the blanket. I'm going to put this around you instead," she said. "Don't worry, nopony will see you. The store is closed and the blinds are drawn."
"This I'm definitely not telling Mac about," grumbled Spike as Rarity lowered the skirt over him. The dress's lowest hoop rested on the floor and the structure came all the way up to his neck.
"I think you'd be shocked by what Big Macintosh thinks is cute," remarked Rarity as she examined the skirt. "There, perfect," she added, with a satisfied grin.
"Perfect? I can't even move in this thing," said Spike, turning his head left and right against the ruffles at the top. "It's like a little tent."
"Exactly. You're right-footed, yes?" asked Rarity, and Spike nodded in response. "Pull your left forefoot up through the top."
Spike complied, and Rarity took his claws firmly in her hoof. "What are we doing?" he asked.
"I can't see through the skirt," Rarity explained. "If anything were to, well, happen down there, I certainly wouldn't be any the wiser."
Spike stared at Rarity for a moment before it finally clicked. "W-wait, you want me to...?"
"Whatever you choose to do is entirely up to you," whispered Rarity, kneeling down next to the skirt. "All I want is to look deeply into your eyes and hold your claws in my hoof. Quite frankly, I'm pleased that the cat is finally out of the bag, and I'd like to associate the wonderful feeling currently caressing my barrel with the face of my favorite colt."
"You mean..."
"I want to be with you when you feel good, Spike. I want you to imagine my face looking back at you whenever you experience joy, because I want to be there experiencing it with you, by your side," said Rarity.
Spike gulped. "Oh wow. This really is about more than just dating, isn't it? Or even sex?"
Rarity blushed and nodded. "I believe it is, yes. It's taken a long time for me to realize it, but I'm head over hooves, and more with each passing day."
Spike's claws squeezed down on Rarity's hoof, and his eyes began to glaze over. "It's like that for me, too. I already imagine you with me whenever I feel good, you know. And I don't mean just in 'that way'."
"Then how do you mean?" asked Rarity, with a smirk.
"I want my happiness to be you," said Spike. "I want you, and joy, to be one and the same thing, in my mind, in my heart... It's kind of like a poem, I can't really explain it well..."
Rarity smiled gently. "It's okay. Just keep looking into my eyes. Don't look away."
"Yes ma'am," said Spike, and then he shivered. "Oh Celestia. I'm a little scared."
"Don't allow yourself to feel embarrassed, Spike. I need you to fight against that impulse. Be strong of heart. Be proud of how you feel about me," she said. "Do it for me, darling. Take pride in yourself, and look directly into my eyes, and know that what you're feeling this very moment is right."
"I... I love you, Rarity," Spike whispered, blushing deeply, staring intently into Rarity's cerulean orbs.
Rarity smiled, and her eyes shimmered. "I lo..." she started to say, then stopped herself. "I... know you do," she amended, failing to stem a furious blush of her own.
Spike giggled knowingly at her response. "Well, I think w-we both know... oh, oh, ohmygosh!" Spike whined, squeezing Rarity's hoof tightly as the muscles in his little muzzle twitched.
"Good boy," whispered Rarity, petting Spike with her other hoof. "Don't fight it. Let that warm feeling spread deep inside you. Stay focused on my voice, and know you have nothing to be ashamed of. I'm so proud of you, my little Spikey-Wikey."
"I've, I've never felt anything l-like this before," gasped Spike, shivering. "I... thank you," he said, his claws trembling against her hoof.
Rarity reached up with her other hoof, tapped Spike gently on the lips, and kissed her own hooftip, a centimeter from his skin, which elicited a 'BEEP' from the spell.
"I suppose that's as close as we can get to a real kiss for the time being," she said. "I do expect you to clean up that skirt, however."
"Oh, it's um... There's nothing," said Spike, blushing. "I mean, you know. That still doesn't happen to me yet."
"Very interesting," said Rarity with a look of curiosity, and then she leaned in to whisper against his frill. "In that case, shall we go another?"
"Way ahead of you," admitted Spike, with a sheepish grin.