> My Little Pony Six Word Biographies > by Godslittleprincess > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Introduction > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hello, readers from beyond the fourth wall, my name is Calligraphy "Callie" Brush. What you are now reading is a collection of biographical writings written by my ancestor Sir Witty Quill of the Canterlot nobility. After the reformation of the changeling race and the subsequent defeat of Queen Chrysalis, Sir Quill made it his life's mission to immortalize the legacy of Equestria's greatest heroes and their affiliates. In order to do so, Sir Quill, like the barely sane eccentric he was, set out to write biographies of every single one of the following characters that you are about to read about. Fortunately, also like the barely sane eccentric that he was, Sir Quill decided that he would devote only six words to each biography in honor of the six Elements of Harmony and their Bearers, no more, no less. Unfortunately, Sir Quill died of ponymonia prior to the founding of the School of Friendship, leaving his collection of biographies unfinished. After his death, Sir Quill faded into obscurity, and his writings were seemingly lost. However, in the last two years, I have discovered my ancestor's writings and set out to make them known to the world. Unfortunately, in the process, I ran into two problems. Firstly, the collection was completely disorganized. I ended up using up a better part of a year to make it readable. Secondly, both my ancestor and I have a condition that allows us to have an awareness of the fourth wall, and it seems that that condition has affected my ancestor's writing and my organizational system, making the collection unpublishable in Equestria. Thankfully, with the help of the Lord of Chaos Discord, I was able to send it to your universe. I hope you enjoy. > Mane Cast > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Princess Twilight Sparkle Friendship brought out the princess inside. Applejack "AJ" Integrity and family are her core. Fluttershy Timidity and meekness hide her strengths. Rarity Bringing out the beauty in others Pinkamena "Pinkie" Diane Pie Life and laughter are for sharing. Rainbow "Crash" Dash Rough exterior hides a loyal heart. > Cutie Mark Crusaders > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sweetie Belle Combine sugar, spice, mischief, and volume. Apple Bloom Late bloomers can be awesome, too. Scootaloo She don’t need wings to fly. Babs Seed The cycle of revenge stops here. Gabriela “Gabby” the Griffon Proof that griffon-y sunshine is possible > Apple Family > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Big McIntosh His few words hide many talents. Granny Smith Who you callin’ senile, you whippersnapper? Cousin Braeburn Never trust this goofball to babysit. Auntie Applesauce Putting the “lady” in “old lady” Apple Rose Favorite cousins keep the heart young. Goldie Delicious Lover of cats and various heirlooms Callie's Notes: In the process of researching and writing about the Apple family, Sir Quill was unable to discover the identity of Big McIntosh, Applejack, and Apple Bloom's parents due to the Apple family matriarchs being wary of sharing the more checkered parts of their family history with a stranger, so Sir Quill chose not to press further. > Canterlot and Crystal Empire Royalty > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Princess Cadance Her love lit up the shadows. Shining Armor Friends and family are worth protecting. Princess Celestia Even the best leaders aren’t perfect. Princess Luna Guardian of dreams, mistress of moonlight Princess Flurry Heart I can’t stop being this cute. Prince Blueblood Your Prince Charming’s at another castle. Callie's Notes: Princess Flurry Heart and the Cake twins were still infants at the time this collection was being written. It seems that my ancestor, in his eccentricity, thought that writing biographies for babies would be a good idea. > Dragons > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Spike the Dragon This baby dragon is concentrated awesome. Princess/Dragon Lord Ember Tougher and nicer than I look Dragon Lord Torch AGREE WITH ME! I command you. > Pets > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Owlowiscious the Owl Every library needs a trusty owl. Winona the Collie AJ! I ruv roo so much! Angel Bunny the Rabbit This mean bunny’s capable of niceness. Gummy the Alligator Life with Pinkie does not suck. Opalescence “Opal” the Cat I am no Hello Kitty. Mrowr! Tank the Tortoise I won’t forget about you, Dashie. Philomena the Phoenix I love messing with other ponies. Boulder the Rock Maud: the cheese to my crackers Callie's Notes: Being the barely sane eccentric that he was, my ancestor fancied himself to be a fluent pet whisperer. The truth or falsehood of that belief will forever go unconfirmed. > Reformed Villians > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sunset Shimmer Never going back, never backing down Starlight Glimmer New friendships are chances worth taking. Trixie Lulamoon Sacrificed actual skills for dramatic presentation Discord I’m wild but can be tamed. Diamond Tiara Meanness is inherited, well, not really. Silver Spoon Snobbery’s only fun for so long. Gilda the Griffon Too cool, except when I’m not > Major Villains > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Nightmare Moon What happens when dreams become nightmares Queen Chrysalis Feeds on love but possesses none King Sombra Shadows were no match for light. Tirek Power hungry and proud of it Adagio Dazzle Trapping you with webs of song Aria Blaze My malice hungers for your submission. Sonata Dusk I’m proof that evil airheads exist. Abacus Cinch Only dreaming of winning is wrong. Midnight Sparkle Never underestimate the power of insanity. Gaea Everfree No one is taking my land! Callie's Notes: According to Sir Quill's research notes, he found out about the Mirror World when the Bearer of Laughter, Ms. Pinkamena Pie, let it slip during a rather fast-paced and long interview full of tangents and side stories. He was even actually able to visit the other world thanks to a combination of unicorn magic and his fourth wall breaking abilities. Of course, he had the foresight to create the portal in a secluded area and to reseal it after he finished his research. No, I will not publish the details of his methods because they were dangerous and risky. I am well aware that some of these villains are corrupted versions of other figures who already have biographies. However, Sir Quill chose to treat them as separate entities, and his reasons for doing this will forever remain unknown because I was unable to find any mention of his motivations for doing so in his notes, at least the sections that were still readable. > Minor Baddies > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Flim Flam brothers They’re always trying to sell something. Ahuizotl Stuff he loves: villainy and cats Garble the Dragon Thick scales, thicker skull, terrible personality Lightning Dust I’m gonna obliterate the competition, literally. Dr. Caballeron He’d rob his own mother’s grave. Suri Polomare I get what I want, mmkay? Wind Rider My records were unbroken, until now. Spoiled Rich nee Spoiled Milk Anything to climb up the ladder Svengallop I sell music to get perks. Zesty Gourmand True flavor is painfully minimalist. “Facehoof” Gladmane Ain’t nothin’ but a false friend Callie's Notes: Yes, Sir Quill's biography for Zesty Gourmand does indeed include "'Facehoof'" as the sixth word. I did say that my ancestor was a barely sane eccentric. > The Wonderbolts > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Spitfire Lead with fire; bring the heat. Soarin "Clipper" I’m one awesome, kick-butt goofball. Fleetfoot "Flatfoot" Making cool breezes on hot days > Wonderbolt Hopefuls > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sky Stinger Learning to work for my shot Vapor Trail Even wingponies deserve some spotlight time. Angel Wings I’m just glad to be here. > Keys of Harmony > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Coco Pommel Inspired to weave together a community Cheese Sandwich Meet your hero; don’t go overboard. Seabreeze Tiny guy toughs out long journey. Silver Shil The truth has set me free. > Cake Family > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Carrot Cake Baking and dadding until I’m ragged. Cup Cake What would hubby do without me? Pound Cake A tiny tornado of mass destruction Pumpkin Cake Sugar and spice and unicorn magic > Episode 100 Major Characters > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Cranky Doodle Donkey I smile on the inside, sometimes. Matilda the Donkey He was bound to find me eventually. Muffins/Derpy Hooves Klutzy body, wonky eyes, sweet heart Doctor/Time Turner Great whickering stallions, am I scatterbrained! Lyra Heartstrings Sitting on benches, LIKE A BOSS! Bon Bon/Sweetie Drops Best friends will forgive your secrets. Octavia Melody Cellos are a mare’s best friend. Vinyl Scratch/DJ-PON3 Escape into the music with me. Steven Magnet Paying it forward, fabulous mustache style! > Other Ponyville Residents > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mayor Mare I keep this town running, somehow. Cheerilee Teaching: somepony’s got to do it Zecora Friend that’s true, potions she brews. Snips and Snails Just Ponyville’s resident pair of clowns Bulk Biceps Big impressions make all the difference. Aloe and Lotus Blossom Life could use some more pampering. Lily Valley, Rose, and Daisy More fragile than their own flowers Filthy Rich Just call me Rich, just Rich. Pipsqueak “Pip" Small colts can have big expectations. Featherweight Born to work in the press Tender Taps Dancing my heart into every step Callie's Notes: In the process of writing Snips and Snails's biography, my ancestor greatly lamented his inability to include Snails's skill in buckball in the six words that he allotted himself. > Pie Family > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Igneous “Iggy” Rock Pie Four daughters, one wife, life rocks. Cloudy "Big Mama Q" Quartz Rock solid mares raise amazing families. Limestone Pie Rough mare runs smooth rock farm. Maudalina "Maud" Daisy Pie My poems are all about rocks. Marble Pie I’m only a rock farmer’s daughter. Callie's Notes: Thanks to a bout of eccentricity, it never occurred to Sir Quill to ask the Pie family what Marble and Limestone's full names were, and by the time that he made this realization, he was already bedridden with ponymonia. > Other Fashion Ponies > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Photo Finish Using film to capture “ze magicks” Sassy Saddles Fashion is more than just sales. Plaid Stripes Great ideas can be weird sometimes. > Assorted Equestrian Cooks and Bakers > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Gustave le Grand Eclairs are love; eclairs are life. Donut Joe Have a donut with extra sprinkles. Mulia Mild Your competition’s stiffer than my mousse. Saffron Masala Put some love in that spice. Coriander Cumin Happiness is cooking with your daughter. > Our Town Residents > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sugar Belle True friends give life true flavor. Party Favor Real friendship is bouncy and colorful. Night Glider Friendship takes you to the skies. Double Diamond A true friend lifts you up. > Twilight's Magic School Friends > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Moon Dancer Friends make mistakes; they’re still friends. Minuette I’m friends with the princess, really! Twinkleshine You need to make some friends. Lemon Hearts One time! That was ONE TIME! > Hooffields and McColts > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Grub Hooffield Plant an abundant harvest, not strife. Piles McColt Build a home, not a battlefield. Ma Hooffield From food fight to potluck party Big Daddy McColt Time to rebuild a burnt bridge > Shy Family > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Fluttershy’s Mom/Mrs. Shy Watching my kids grow and blossom Fluttershy’s Dad/Mr. Shy I supported my family on clouds. Zephyr Breeze The Breeze does magic with manes. Callie's Notes: In his research of Ms. Fluttershy's family, Sir Quill was actually able to discover the names of her parents. Unfortunately, every single mention of their names in his notes was somehow rendered unreadable. On a different note, when he discovered that Ms. Rainbow Dash did indeed have living parents, he scheduled to meet up with them for an interview, but he suddenly became ill and was unable to write anything about them. Hence, they are not included in this collection. A sudden illness also prevented him from interviewing and writing about Princess Twilight and Prince Shining Armor's parents. > Equestria Boys > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Flash Sentry Be there. Do right. It matters. Microchips School just got a lot weirder. Sandalwood Just the guy with the dreads Timber Spruce I’m one hey of a charmer. > Crystal Prep Academy Shadowbolts > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sour Sweet I’m nice. DON’T DISAGREE WITH ME! Sugarcoat Bringer of verbal blunt force trauma Lemon Zest Live to jam, love to rock Indigo Zap Love to compete, ready to win Sunny Flare Here because I have to be > Unsorted Characters > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Sapphire Shores Perfection and pizzazz in every performance Daring Do/A.K. Yearling Go on adventures and write books. Iron Will I’m a minotaur! Hear me ROAR! Ms. Harshwhinny Trust me. I am THE professional. Tree Hugger When in doubt, make whale music. The Smooze Loves shiny things and whale noises Troubleshoes Clyde Can’t let luck run my life. "Countess" “Rara” Coloratura My voice is all I need. Sunburst Not a wizard, just a nerd Buried Lede Write everything down; leave nothing out. Quibble Pants Life in Equestria equals contrived coincidences. King Thorax the Changeling Not draining love for her anymore Gloriosa Daisy I’ve got this, maybe, I think. Callie's Notes: Sir Quill wrote Iron Will's biography before his crimes against the royal family came to light. Who knew he could be capable of such atrocities? > Seasons > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Season 1 The adventure of friendship has begun. Season 2 Everypony takes part in friendship’s journey. Season 3 Finished chapters lead to new beginnings. Season 4 Friendships are like plants, always growing. Season 5 There’s always room for new friendships. Season 6 Everypony does something pretty darn awesome. Callie's Notes: If it wasn't already evident, my ancestor and I are fourth wall breakers. > Afterword by Callie > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- And that dear readers, concludes Sir Witty Quill's collection of six-word biographies. Unfortunately, despite having lived through the return of the Pillars and the defeat of the Storm King, for some reason, Sir Quill was unable to write about any of them. Possible reasons for this could be his busy schedule and fluctuating health. However, if I could give my two bits on the matter, I personally believe that, despite their brevity, researching for and writing these biographies took Sir Quill a long time and that he was probably still working on this collection of biographies when those events happened. I have considered completing my ancestors life's work by writing about the other ponies and creatures that the Element Bearers met after the changeling reformation; however, my work as a historian and a professor at Canterlot University has left me little time to do so. Furthermore, as you know, Sir Quill's writing includes information regarding the Mirror World, and the methods he used to access that world without Princess Twilight's mirror were horribly risky, and I quite enjoy living. Thank you very much. Despite my reservations, perhaps, I will write my own collection of brief biographies myself someday, but until that day comes, I hope Sir Quill's collection will inspire you to examine your own lives and histories and to exercise your own wit through brevity and the written language. With that my dear readers, I bid you good reading. Calligraphy Brush