> Anything But The Gala
>  by Ponibius
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> A Difference In Opinions
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


Anything But The Gala


Chapter 1: A Difference In Opinions



CR 1001


"Luna, would you mind hosting the Gala for me this year?" Celestia asked, an innocent sounding question that would cause me no small trouble in the times to come.

"Hm?" It took me a moment to process the question. The two young officers exchanging blows on the West Hoof practice yard had held my full attention until my sister had spoken.

Celestia smiled knowingly. "Enjoying yourself, are you?"

"Aye, very much so." My sister had taken the effort to arrange for some displays of martial prowess while the two of us were taking a royal review of Equestria's military academy, something I was most thankful for. We were currently seated on the bleachers overseeing the field. A hoofful of students had also gathered to cheer for the dueling ponies, though they were kept at a distance by both our guards and deference to their princesses.

After my return from the moon I had found to my profound disappointment that the tourneys of old, with proud warriors testing their mettle against one another, had fallen out of favor with the common pony—something I suspected my sister had played a hoof in. She had never particularly enjoyed the tourneys, being too violent for her tastes, and a thousand years of consistent royal disfavor can tell the difference. Still, it spoke well of her that she had set up this display purely for my sake. Even if ‘twas a pale imitation of what once was.

“I am quite entertained.” I continued to watch the two combatants trade rhythmic, practiced blows with their padded wingblades. "This is much better than our outing at the golf course." 

Celestia smile became something more teasing in demeanor. "You didn't like it because I beat you."

"Only because thou hast far more practice at it than I," I shot back. The memories of how I had kept overshooting the green were not happy ones. It turned out that alicorn strength was poorly suited to the game. Though my sister was, of course, superb at the game after uncounted decades of practice. Just like how she was perfect at most things. I was not jealous; merely annoyed. 

At least I had gotten a little bit of humor when I accidently pelted somepony with a ball. The fact that the pony in question who had been sulking in the bushes was Speedy Press, a tabloid journalist whom had written several scathing articles saying that I was ruining Equestria in some manner or another, had made it a very happy accident.

“Then perhaps we should do it again soon?” 

“Neigh, I think not,” I said in a disinterested manner. "Not when I would have to wear those hideous, uncomfortable clothes again."

My sister let out a patient sigh. "You just don't like plaid."

"Because plaid is a hideous color scheme." Really, I did not know why she had insisted so that we dress so strictly for the occasion. 'Tis not as though the outfit were needed to participate in the game. Also, the pants had been itchy. "Thou knowest I hate plaid."

"So I do," Celestia said unhappily. "And you're using 'thou' again."

"I know, dear sister," I grumbled. "Can I not even use it in private without thee chastising me?" ‘Twas irritating when Tia treated me as the younger sister. Specifically, the younger sister who still had to be told not to eat too many sweets before dinner or to mind her bedtime. “I miss ‘thou.’ It was useful to be able to distinguish between social inferiors and equals.”

‘Thou’ had been another of one of those things that had gone out of fashion, much to my disappointment. I missed when I could use the Royal Canterlot Voice, and when ponies wore dress swords and armor rather than the ridiculous suits and gowns that were now the custom.

My sister spoke in that slow, patient tone she used whenever she thought I was about to do something foolish like throw a childish tantrum. “I merely want you to fit in, Luna, and you make that harder by using archaic words. And you’re not going to bring ‘thou’ back through sheer stubbornness.”

An impish grin worked its way onto my face. “I could always bring it back through royal decree and demand it be taught in the schools.”

“Don’t you dare.” Despite her stern tone, she was returning my grin.

“I suppose such a proclamation might give several administrators heart attacks,” I said with exaggerated severity. “Not to mention what the parental organizations would say. I might very well be buried under a pile of angry letters.”

“That is something I would try to avoid,” Tia said with equal gravity.

“Indeed.” I returned my attention to the two guardponies battling. The orange stallion had seemed to run out of moves in his repertoire and was now desperately trying to parry the mare’s strikes.

“So then, about the Gala,” Celestia said. “I was hoping—”

I cut her off with a booming, “Huzzah!” The blue mare had forced her opponent’s wingblades up, allowing her to hook his leg with a blade and send him sprawling to the ground. She applied a blade to her fellow officer’s neck and the mediator called the match. I stomped my hooves in applause. “A fine performance!” Turning to Brigadier Standard Order, I levitated a coinpurse to the superintendent of West Hoof. “Brigadier, please see to it that the young mare receives her prize of five hundred bits. Tell her that we are pleased with her fine work with her blades.”

Standard took the coinpurse and saluted. “Of course, Your Highness. Though you hardly need to. The cadets are proud to have the honor of being able to perform for their princesses.”

 I waved off his objection. “‘Tis the royal prerogative to reward those that serve us.”

“Very well.” He pocketed the bits. “I will see to it.”

“My thanks,” I said.

“Luna...” Celestia chided in a manner I was all too familiar with.

“What?” I stared obstinately at the field, knowing full well what my sister’s problem was. Not that I was going to make it easy for her.

“I don’t want you going around giving out prizes for something like this.” She smiled and nodded in acknowledgement the two young officers as they saluted us, ever the polite one even when she was uncomfortable.

“‘Tis my money, sister, I can spend it how I please. And that includes rewarding ponies for whatever I wish.” Not to be outdone, I also smiled and nodded at the pair. Their part in the event completed, the two of them headed off the field to make room for the next contest. “Even if that includes a pair of ponies fighting for my amusement.”

Tia took a moment before answering, her face that neutral mask that she always wore. “As long as it does not become excessive. The royal demesne does have a budget, after all.”

“I will be reasonable.” I turned a grin to her that spoke of mischievous intent. “Indeed, I did not demand that I be given what was owed to me after a thousand years.”

That provoked the slightest wince from my sister, something so small as to almost seem like an illusion. I immediately regretted the jest. Sometimes it helped to make light of that terrible rift that had been rent between us. Sometimes.

To her credit, she rallied back with her own humor. “You were on timeout, Luna. It would hardly do for me to give you your allowance while you were being punished.”

“I suppose,” I murmured.

Probably seeing that it would be best to move on, Tia said, “Now then, I wished to talk to you about the Gala before the next contest.”

“What about it?” I asked with a hint of impatience. Considering the next event was the melee of two teams of cadets battling one another, a contest I had been looking forward to, I wished to be done with whatever my sister wanted to talk about quickly.

Tia put on one of her more pleasant smiles as she spoke. “I wanted to know if you would be interested in hosting the Grand Galloping Gala this year?”

That caused me to quirk an eyebrow. “Pray tell, and why dost thou want me to do that? Normally thou art fond of hosting such affairs.” In truth, she had always enjoyed such elaborate parties more than I. She was always the social butterfly, moving from one pony to another and delighting them and making small talk. I had never had her grace at such things and always felt myself the pale imitation of her. Somehow, I now suspected there was some ulterior motive behind her arranging this contest; it would not be the first time.

My sister shifted her smile into one of her benevolent ones. “I thought it would do your reputation some good to run the biggest social event of the year. It would let ponies see you, get to know you, allow you to take a role in Equestria I’ve been doing for centuries. We are co-rulers of Equestria and should act like it in most things.”

I rubbed at my chin as I thought it over. On one hoof, she had a point. Getting to know the upper crust of Equestria would be good for the realm, and the Gala was an opportunity for that. On the other, I did not wish to be a mere copy of my sister. One of the things I had been doing since my return was to establish my own identity for my subjects. Deep down, I always knew I would be unhappy if I was always compared side-by-side with my sister, and thus I needed to make myself stand out and forge my own image. That would take time, and I did not wish to do so in a way that would upset my ponies. So the issue of whether to host the Gala had me of two minds.

“I will consider it, sister,” I finally said. “If you could give me some time to think it over, I would appreciate it.” The Gala was still a number of months away, so there was some time for me to deliberate—maybe even discuss it with some of my closest advisors.

“Of course, Luna.” I detected the barest hint of strain when she said that. I wondered briefly if I had offended her in some way, but that seemed unlikely to me. My request was reasonable and I was sure I had not said it in an offensive way. Mayhaps I had merely imagined it. “Don’t wait forever though, and I really do have your best interests at heart.”

I smiled to assure her that her offer was welcome. “I would think nothing less of thee.” Seeing that the melee was about to begin, I turned my attention back to the field. “Now then, there is a contest to enjoy.”

Celestia hummed neutrally. “At least there will be somepony to enjoy this.”





I looked about the meeting room to measure the reactions of my advisors. "So, any final words before we make a final vote for declaring the breezies an endangered species in need of protection?" 

"What a mess.” Carrot Salad, my agricultural advisor, rubbed at the side of his head. Little surprise his frustration was showing when we had been going over the details of the dangerous decline of the breezie population over the last century. "Remind me again what fool thought it was a good idea to help a bunch of breezies settle outside of their home valley?"

It was not hard to figure out the source of Carrot Salad’s frustration. Outside of their idyllic valley, it was nearly impossible for them to live. They could only survive within a narrow range of temperatures without quickly suffering heat stroke or freezing to death, were at the mercy of any winds stronger than a gentle breeze, and they possessed no natural defenses and easily fell victim to any number of predatory birds, cats, a particularly devious species of ferret, and a carnivorous plant whose aroma was irresistible to them.

“A great many well-meaning fools.” My advisor for animal caretaking, Tender Heart, finished off the last of her coffee before continuing. “And ones long dead by now. Unfortunately, due to them being so cute, they can be quite good at convincing ponies to help them. Especially anypony that tends to think with their hearts instead of their heads.” She let out a frustrated sigh. “More than one of our animal caretakers have been suckered into helping them more than they should have.”

Sky Breeze, my weather service advisor, groaned and rubbed at his forehead. “Grand, that will make everything so much easier. If we can’t completely trust the animal caretakers to do what needs to be done...”

Sky Breeze let out a sigh and shuffled some papers together. “It’s not exactly going to be easy to create the ideal weather they’re going to need to collect their pollen, you know.”

“Be that as it may,” I said, trying to regain control of the meeting, “we helped them get into this mess, and considering the breezies have requested our help, we should keep these settlements from being wiped out. I take it there is a consensus to give them aid?” There was a general murmur of agreement from my advisors. "The yea’s have it."

It had been a long and unhappy meeting with my advisors, but such things were necessary for the running of a government. As much as ponies might perceive my sister and me as ruling from our thrones and making grand announcements, the truth of the matter was that most of the decision-making took place in small meetings such as these. Grand Vizier Night Light glanced at a sheet of paper in a bored manner. "That is everything on the official list of business for the night. Is there anything else we need to discuss, or are we good to adjourn? With Her Highness' leave, of course."

"There was something that my sister brought up with me that I wished to discuss with all of you." Naturally, I immediately had everypony’s renewed interest when I mentioned Celestia. All of these ponies had worked under my sister their entire careers, and their loyalties reflected that. Gaining their loyalties was something I was working on, but I could not help but feel that it would take another generation or two before I would have ponies working for me that really felt like they were my ponies.

“Oh?” Night Light asked. “What was it?”

“She brought up the idea of me hosting the Gala for her,” I said. “She suggested it would help me connect with some of the ponies I rule over. What do all of you think about the proposal?”

To my surprise, my advisors were not quick in responding to my inquiry. That was very unusual considering somepony normally had a strong opinion about whatever the issue of the hour was—either because 'twas a topic that interested them or because they wished to gain my favor by giving me good council. But what I had before me was a profound silence. Like one between a group of children who had been caught stealing cookies from the cookie jar and were now being confronted by an adult who demanded answers.

"Well?" I prompted, putting my displeasure at the silence in my voice.

The ponies about me were all experienced politicians and civil servants, so they were quite good at hiding what they were thinking. Still, several sets of eyes glanced Night Light's way. As Grand Vizier, he stood as the primary official for both myself and my sister. While that gave him great and far-ranging powers, it also meant he often had the unenviable task of giving his sovereigns bad news.

Night Light no doubt felt the eyes upon him, and seeing that nopony else was stepping into the firing line, fulfilled his public duty. He cleared his throat and spoke slowly and cautiously. "Yes, it's probably true that hosting the Gala on your sister's behalf would help give you more exposure and raise your esteem among the upper crust of society."

While I was sure he was being honest with me, it still felt like he was holding back on me. "I sense a 'but' in there."

"Yes, well..." Night Light’s eyes darted to his fellows but none of them jumped to his rescue. "If it doesn't sound too presumptuous on my part, I don't think you would enjoy the Gala."

That caused me to raise an eyebrow, for that had not been the answer I had been expecting from my senior advisor. "Is that so? Why do you think that?"

"Because your sister doesn't particularly enjoy the Gala," he said reluctantly.

I was taken aback by this news. "What do you mean? My sister loves parties. She always has." Certainly the opportunity to feed her sweet tooth with more cake was something she always looked forward to.

"Most parties, yes," Night Light hedged. "But not the Gala."  He let out a sigh, sounding like a stallion finally taking the plunge into the abyss. "You see, it's not so much the Gala she hates, but what she's doing at the Gala. For the most part, it's just her standing at the top of the stairs by the entrance of the palace. She stands there, shaking hooves with the guests, and trades a few words for hours and hours. And that's all she gets to do all night. No real socializing, no dancing or going to the concessions table. In all honesty, she's bored to death doing it."

“I see.” Now I was beginning to see what I was dealing with. My dear sister loved to talk with ponies at such functions, but there was little joy to be had in merely making greetings with one pony after another. At least that was mine own opinion after all the times when I had been made to do similar tasks. Now she was trying to unload an unpleasant duty of hers on me. Both setting the precedent that I would host the Gala for her, and letting her take a break from that task.

This also explained my advisors’ reluctant behavior. They had suddenly found themselves trapped between the contradictory desires of their two sovereigns. To the seasoned civil servants around me, it must have felt as if they were surrounded by two particularly large and hungry dragons while lathered up with barbecue sauce.

"It has gotten to the point that she tries to sabotage the Gala every year," Night Light said.

"Is that so?" Hearing that made me quite curious. True, my sister could be quite the trickster when she wished to be, something I knew from personal experience, but to resort to outright sabotage was something else entirely. "How is she going about that?"

"It generally differs each year." Night Light spoke more confidently now, like a pony relieved to get something off his chest. "For instance, a few years ago she brought rival delegates from the nations of Freeport and Westmarch when they had been in the middle of a rather fierce disagreement over the sugar tariffs. Long story short, they ended up getting into a food fight with one another. And, um—" He cleared his throat and sounded quite embarrassed as he continued, "—drew a good portion of the other Gala guests into the encounter. I'm sure you know how passionate some ponies can get about sugar prices."

"Indeed I do," I readily agreed. Considering Equestria's mass sweet tooth and the number of businesses that required sugar, the price and availability of sugar was no small issue. It also bore wondering how many of my advisors had been drawn into the mentioned food fight but were too embarrassed to admit their culpability in the incident.

Sky Breeze grinned. "I still remember the squirrel swarm from my first Gala."

Tender Heart rubbed at the sides of her head. “Who knew there were so many squirrels on the Canterlot Royal University campus?” She shivered. “Sooo many squirrels.”

Night Light nodded. “Then there was also the one time Her Highness insisted my wife should dance at the Gala."

I tilted my head. “That does not sound so bad.” Twilight Velvet had seemed like a fine enough mare when I had met her. I did not see how one pony’s dancing could ruin an entire social event.

“I love my wife very dearly, but she is a horrendous dancer. It’s something of a family curse.” The Grand Vizier let out a long sigh. “During the slow dance at our wedding, she broke my leg. Entirely by accident, of course.”

I winced. That could not have made things easy between them for their first bedding with one another. “And the Gala where she danced?”

Night Light’s smile was strained at the edges. “We sort of had to rebuild the west wing of the palace.”

I took a long moment to digest that. “How? How could a pony’s dancing be so bad it could destroy a section of the palace?!”

“We’re ... still not entirely sure about that,” Night Light admitted reluctantly. “None of the royal engineers can really agree on exactly what happened. Some say that my wife must have hit some sort of hidden weakness in the palace architecture, or that her dancing was so bad that it offended the spirit of the palace and it partially destroyed itself as a result. Same results, whatever the explanation.”

More than a little of me was curious to see exactly how bad Twilight Velvet’s dancing was. Though that reminded me about a new saying I had heard about cats, curiosity, and the lethal results when the two crossed paths.

"Don’t forget how your daughter's friends made a mess of the last Gala, Night," said Carrot Salad with a good-hearted laugh. The dam of tension that had finally broke and now everypony was looking much more relaxed as they recounted past incidents at the Gala.

Night Light smiled embarrassedly. "I'm afraid Twilight's friends weren't exactly standard company for the Gala."

"Aw, it's fine, Night," Sky Breeze said reassuringly. "I think we can forgive them a little bit after they saved Equestria."

The casual way the ponies around me could speak of the yearly disasters that had struck the Gala drew me to ask a question. "Why do all of you continue to go to the Gala when my sister seeks to ruin each of them?"

My advisors all gave me a confused look, as though they did not understand the question. They turned their gazes to one another before turning them back to me. After a prolonged silence as I stared at them, Night Light was once again the one to answer my question. "Well, I suppose it's just part of the Gala at this point. Has been since any of us have been alive. At this point, it's pretty much a tradition."

Tender Heart nodded in agreement. “Not to mention the Gala is the biggest social event of the year. Anypony who's anypony goes to the Gala. Doesn’t matter if there is a stampede of animals, a magical disaster, or an attacking cosmic horror every year. Not if you want to seem important.”

"I see." Considering my long life, I knew well how practices and traditions could become ingrained in a society. Once something had been done for a century or more, even if it might seem strange or even counterproductive, it can gain its own momentum and mass and continue going on. Even upsetting ponies when some ponies tried to bring it to an end. Still, that left a question as to the origin of the issue. "And why does my sister continue to host the Gala when she despises it so?"

"I'm afraid I can't be much help on that one." Night Light shrugged. "I asked her during a planning meeting for the Gala, but all she told me was that this was just the way things had to be and gave me one of those mysterious smiles of hers. I'm sure you know the one."

"Indeed I do." Considering my sister was prone to smiling no matter the circumstances, often the only way to gauge what my sister was thinking was to figure out which smile she was using. The smile Night Light was alluding to was the one she used whenever she did not wish to elaborate on a topic. Relying on an aura of mystery and wisdom to silence the concerns of those she is speaking with. It was a very frustrating smile to deal with.

"So, um," Tender Heart put on a smile that was strained at the edges. "What do you plan on doing after everything we told you?" The unstated question was would I tell my sister that several of her very trusted and loyal civil servants had gone behind her back and told me things she probably did not wish for me to know. At least not before I was well and truly committed to hosting the Gala.

I put on a confident smile for my advisors. "Oh, do not worry. I will deal with my sister.”





"So Luna, have you thought about hosting the Gala yet?" my sister asked as Daggoth the Destroyer leapt at her. Tia teleported out of the way, and the demon crashed into a cart filled with cabbages.

"Is now really the time to be discussing this?" I asked, waving casually at Daggoth as it shook off the debris that clung to it. The demon had been terrorizing several local villages for the last week since it had managed to push itself through some crack in the universe to arrive in the material plane. At least according to the pony that had brought us the news, Daggoth was intent on conquering all of Equestria. Considering my sister and I had no intentions of giving up our crowns to some ne'er-do-well, we had decided to show him the error of his ways. Thus, we had confronted the demon and lured him to an evacuated cabbage farm where nopony was going to be harmed during our clash.

As for Daggoth himself, the demon was a formidable looking creature. It was hunched over like a diamond dog, though three times larger than any of the canines, and its forelegs made of thick, corded muscle that lead to long talons on its hands. Thick, brown scales covered its hide and it struck with a serpentine speed.

Tia's horn glowed as she tossed a fireball at Daggoth. It struck the demon square in the chest and sent it sprawling to the ground. "I've been meaning to ask you for a few days now but I either forgot to bring it up or couldn't find the right moment."

While those were plausible explanations for my sister only bringing up the topic now, more likely she was hoping to get me to agree to hosting the Gala during a time when I was distracted. It was like her to wait for just the right moment to ask a question. Being immortal changed one's perception of time. Instead of being a thing one raced against to accomplish everything one wanted to do in life, time merely became a resource or another factor to consider for one's plans.

I stared at the demon, and made myself sound distracted when I spoke. "I have only thought of it a little bit, I admit. My duties have kept me busy the last couple of weeks." In truth, it was to my advantage to delay giving an answer until it would be too late for me to prepare for the Gala. At least for this year. Considering how miserable the event apparently made my sister, I wanted no part of it.

"It's not something you need to think too hard about." Tia put on an easy smile. "It's just a party."

Before I could reply, Daggoth roared, the shout as much a physical force as a sound. "Are you talking about a-a party while fighting Daggoth the Destroyer!?"

My sister smiled, a hint of mischief hidden behind it. "To be fair, the Grand Galloping Gala is the most important social event of the year. Please don't be offended. My sister and I tend to multitask like this." She rubbed her chin in a contemplative gesture. "Though I suppose it's a bit rude not to involve you in the conversation. Tell you what, if you stop your rampage, I'd be more than happy to send you an invitation to the Gala. You can even bring a plus one if you have a spouse, friend, or a family member you would like to bring."

Part of me had to wonder if my sister was inviting the demon so that he could in some manner sabotage the Gala. It certainly fit with what I had heard from my advisors.

Daggoth trembled with rage. "I'm not interested in parties! I'm here to conquer!"

"Are you sure?" Tis asked sweetly. "We could sit down and talk about it over tea and cake. I'm sure we could come to some sort of compromise if we talked this out."

"Daggoth does not compromise," he roared. "I will rip out your heart and feast on your entrails!"

My sister's horn lit with the power of the sun. "Three hundred twenty-seven," she said, she smile unwavering.

Daggoth's face curled up in a confused look. "What are you babbling about!?"

My sister met my eyes and an unspoken message passed between us. Daggoth was but one enemy in a long line of defeated foes, and we had much practice in working in concert to achieve victory. "'Tis a game my sister plays," I explained. "We have heard so many villainous phrases over the centuries that she has taken to keeping track of how many times particular ones are said."

"It's something of a hobby," Tia said sweetly, the two of us slowly circling to opposite sides of the demon. "I have to do something to keep these fights interesting. Once you've fought a hundred or so demons it starts to become a bit ... mundane."

"I am not mundane!" Slamming his fists into the dirt, Daggoth glared balefully. "Equestria will cower before my evil might!"

"Nine hundred twelve," my sister said calmly.

"Fear me!" Daggoth charged my sister with a speed that defied his large bulk. His claw flashed out, intent on rending my sister.

"One thousand six hundred thirty," she said, teleporting the barest second before the demon's blow would have struck. The claw swished through empty air and the demon staggered forward from the lack of connection. Exactly as we had planned, our provocations had enraged the prideful demon and caused him to expose himself.

Seeing the opening, I turned into a star masses blue cloud and darted forward. Before Daggoth could regain his balance, I reformed next to him and lashed out with my rear hooves. One of my hooves hit the side of his jaw. The force of the impact sent the demon flying until he went crashing into a barn. Something within must finally have stopped its flight, for there was a great commotion from inside and more of Daggoth's roars.

Keeping a careful eye for the demon's eventual return to battle, I directed a question towards Tia. "Thou art already well over a thousand? Thou wert only at seven hundred when I went away."

"I've been busy," she said. "If I'm going to be honest, I left a lot of this type of work to you. You always enjoy this type of thing more than I did."

"If memory serves, thou didst call me a brute on a couple occasions," I said in a teasing manner.

"Only when I was far, far younger." The great commotion from inside the cabbage farm barn as Daggoth raged did nothing to disturb my sister's continuance as she spoke with me. "Trust me, spending the last millennium beating one monster after another by myself has taught me how much I missed having you around to help."

Hearing her acknowledge me in such a manner stirred my pride. It felt good to receive compliments from her, especially when it was something that set me apart from her. "Have you finally come to acknowledge my talents for defeating Equestria's foes?"

"Really, Luna, you should know better than to fish for compliments," she teased. "But yes, if you really must know—"

She was interrupted when Daggoth, despite there already being a perfectly sized hole for him, smashed through the side of the barn. "You are infuriating Daggoth! I will make you suffer for that!"

"Nine hundred seventy eight." Tia hummed contemplatively. "No, I don't think that is going to happen. If I'm going to be honest, I don't think you really understand how in over your head you really are."

I looked the demon up and down, sensing the power of the creature as I did so. "Hmm. By my judgement, 'tis but a middling demon, at best. Barely even worth the trouble of us coming out here." Having fought numerous denizens of the lower planes in the defense of my ponies, I had quite the sampling to draw upon. I had hoped for a greater challenge with which to stretch my wings with my sister, but there was nothing to be done about it, and someday greater challenges would present themselves. They always did.

My sister took a moment to study Daggoth herself. "Agreed."

"I am not middling!" Daggoth stomped a foot, his wounded pride clear as he kicked a nearby wheelbarrow, sending it soaring until it smashed through the wall of the nearby farmhouse. "I am Daggoth the Destroyer, and I will be your doom!"

"One thousand three hundred and twenty nine," Tia said.

A snicker escaped from my lips. "‘The Destroyer’? 'Tis not even an original appellation. Was that really the best thou couldst invent for thyself? I swear, I cannot go more than a few decades without someone calling himself ‘The Destroyer.’" Daggoth opened his mouth to no doubt defend his lack of ingenuity, but I raised a good to forestall him. "'I assure you, 'tis woefully common. Let me give you an example. Tia, how many destroyers did you fight last century?"

She tapped her cheek for a moment. Reviewing the memories of an entire century could take a bit of time. 'Twas one of the issues with having an eternal life, there could be a great of accumulated information to sift through. "Two—three technically, if I remember right." She shrugged. "It could be worse," Tia said in a half-hearted defense of the demon. "I remember this one beast called Pythorix the Painmaster. Though it turned out he was just a masochist who wanted me to hurt him." She sighed and shook her head. "Demons. He followed me all around Equestria for years, demanding I punish him."

"How didst thou resolve the matter?" I asked.

"Eventually he realized I was never going to play his game and shifted his attention to one of my less merciful archmagi instead," my sister said. "Sunbeam ... well, suffice to say he stopped showing up after that."

"Another pitiful foe then." Seeing that Daggoth was quickly becoming beside himself with rage, it seemed best to keep stirring the demon's wrath. Enemies who became consumed by their rage rarely fought at their best. Besides, 'twas enjoyable tweaking his nose. "Certainly neither of them compare to some of our greater nemeses. Remember that dragon Sombra had bonded to his will, Ember the Crystalline? Now that was a fight. How many days and nights of continual fighting did it take to force him to limp back to his lair?"

"Oh, a good week at least," Tia said helpfully. "And that was with Argentium the Runescaled helping too."

Befriending the centuries-long nemesis of Ember had certainly been one of my sister's wiser moves. Certainly the aid of one elder dragon against another had been invaluable, especially when our common foe had been infused with King Sombra's foul energies.

"I think I was sore for a month after that." I stretched out my wings at the memory. "Oh! And remember Xnzgth'xjnnz-xrthv? Now there was an eldritch horror worthy of the title." I was certain I was butchering the name, but that was little surprise when the name was intended to be spoken with three gaping maws, each with several tentacle-like tongues.

"Oh yes. Quite a lovely little abomination," my sister said. "I mean really, it's not even a proper demon unless at least a dozen guards start gibbering in terror the instant they see it."

"I-I make ponies uncomfortable too," Daggoth said lamely. "I beat up a dragon once."

"How big of a dragon?" I asked.

"A b-big one!" Daggoth puffed out his chest, but his lack of conviction ruined the attempt at bravado. "Hey! I am a great and terrible evil that will consume all before it like a ... like a ... er... Fear me!" It was quite clear that Daggoth had lost control of the situation by this point, even to himself. No doubt he was used to preying upon the weaker denizens of the Abyss and was quite at a loss when faced with individuals who mocked him, rather than just destroy him like the lords of the Abyss would have at such challenge.

"I'm sure you're trying your best," Tia said with an air of condescension. “Though to be honest, we’re wasting time while wearing you down until we can bind you.”

“W-what!?” Daggoth demanded.

I nodded. “One of the big reasons we even bothered to come out here was to skip a meeting. In truth, I was hoping for an entertaining battle to get the blood pumping. It certainly sounded more appealing than another meeting over the construction of that dam.” We had been attending one meeting after another over building a dam for the Boulder River over the last year, going over issues such as the design of the dam, how it would affect the wildlife, the geography of the project, and a hundred other things that needed to be reviewed and approved. A series of tasks that had quickly grown bothersome. Necessary for governance, but bothersome.

“Exactly,"' Tia agreed. "Or filling out paperwork. Except less bothersome. At least this way I can get a bit of fresh air and stretch my wings for a bit."

Daggoth bared his teeth. "I am not less bothersome than paperwork!"

"Thou hast obviously not been burdened with such menial task if thou canst say such a thing." My wings flicked as I remembered the stack of papers awaiting my review upon returning home. "Trust me on this, paperwork is far more bothersome than thee. Ruling a nation is much more difficult than conquering it. I dare say that thou wouldst not have a clue what to do even if thou didst manage to defeat us and conquer Equestria."

Daggoth finally lost his patience and charged me. Shame for him, he did not get far before a beam of pure light shot from my sister's horn and struck his chest. The force of the blow sent him flying back into the barn. The barn exploded from the power of the spell, sending burning debris flying in every direction. What remained of the structure collapsed in on itself, blowing out smoke and ashes. I made a mental note to make sure that the ponies who owned this farm would be compensated for us turning it into a battlefield. I would not have one of my subjects suffer for such a thing, and if the farmer had been wise and gotten insurance against monster attacks like he should have, then he was likely due for quite the windfall here soon.

Seeing that Daggoth was not immediately going to spring out of the burning remains of the barn, my sister smiled at me. For all her reputation of being the chessmaster, Tia's fighting style tended towards overpowering a foe as often as not. Of course, it helped when one had the power of the sun to aid you. "So, sister, while he's recovering from that, have you made a decision on hosting the Gala?"

I rolled my eyes, my sister must have been truly desperate to push so hard on this. Normally she was much subtler. "I have been busy fighting the demon since last thou didst ask, sister."

"You have a minute to think right now," she pointed out, her smile sweet.

It seemed that my sister was not going to be easily beggared off this time. While I could hear Daggoth trying to dig himself out of the burning remains of the barn, it would likely be some time before he freed himself. Too long to delay giving Tia an answer. I sought some excuse to give for why I could not go to the Gala. Unfortunately, my mind chose now of all times to draw a blank as my sister continued to stare at me with that deceptively sweet smile of hers.

The seconds dragged on as I tried to think. Eventually Tia prodded me again. "Is everything alright?" Her smile took on a sinister edge. "You're not spending all his time trying to think of an excuse not to go to the Gala, are you?"

I silently cursed. Once again, she had proven extremely perceptive to what I was thinking. "Neigh, I was, um, thinking over my schedule around the Gala. Unfortunately, I cannot go because..." No longer having any more time to delay, I seized upon the first idea that came to mind. "I need to calibrate the moon!"

"Calibrate the moon?" My excuse turned my sister's smile into a skeptical frown. "How exactly do you ... calibrate the moon?"

"'Tis a complicated process," I said with as much confidence I could summon.  The lie had been said, and I was now too invested to turn back now. It was true that the moon requires a bit of attending to now and again, but it was rarely anything serious. "I merely call it calibrating to give the process a name. Sadly, I must see to it during the time of the Gala and I cannot allow anything to distract me from my task while it is being done."

There was a long pause before Tia said, "I see. And what precisely does this involve?"

"I would not bore you with the specifics." Specifics that my sister would probably be able to use to ferret out my lies. Instead I took a different path to divert her from the truth. "To be honest..." I intentionally paused, letting the silence hang for a moment to add weight to my next words, adding reluctance to my tone. "Well, I do not wish to hurt thy feelings, sister."

"Oh? You think it's beyond me?" It was not hard to hear Tia's pricked pride in her tone. "I did manage the moon perfectly well for a thousand years."

I murmured unhappily, drawing my sister in with my act. "Aye, about that... Neigh, I do not wish to say anything." I turned my gaze from her, as though I did not wish to confront her with a harsh truth. "I am sure thou didst thy best during the last thousand years. I would not insult my sister over a task she did not ask to have thrust upon her. 'Twould not be fair to thee."

My sister's frown deepened as she became fully absorbed in finding out what I did not wish to tell her. "What is it? What don't you want to tell me?"

Taking a couple seconds to help create the impression of reluctance, I finally said, "Well, the moon has gotten ... off in the last several centuries. I imagine it was difficult for thee to tell considering it happened so slowly, and thou art not as attuned to the moon as I. And to be fair, nothing serious has happened." I waited a moment before finally adding, "Yet."

"I kept it following the exact same orbital path you used!" she said in a huffy manner as her continence cracked.

I hummed with a displeased note and made a so-so gesture with my hoof. Though privately I was quite pleased that I had managed to draw her into my deception. While it was not wholly virtuous to act as I was, my sister was not exactly being completely honest with me about the Gala, now was she? "I did not wish to say anything. As I am sure, thou didst thy best."

Tia let out a soft scoff. "If anything, I made the moon follow a smoother orbit. You always liked it a bit too elliptical. And honestly, why is it still tidally locked?"

"I have already explained that." I sighed with frustration. Once again my sister was questioning how I husbanded the moon. "Must we have this talk again? And really, this explains exactly why I need to calibrate the moon. Thou hast been ... fiddling with it."

"Well, perhaps I would like to be able to see the dark side of the moon without having to fly into space," she shot right back.

"'Twould hardly be the dark side if light shone 'pon it!" I returned.

Tia rose her chin in that condescending manner of hers. "Why does the moon even need a dark side?"

"Intrinsic metaphysical reasons relating to the harmony of the universe. Dost thou really wish for me to give thee a lecture about the moon and all of its workings?" I sighed as frustration built within me. "Clearly thou art ignorant on the topic. Thou dost not even wish for me to discuss the state of the Dreamscape 'pon my return." Mayhaps 'twas merely a sign of the times, but far more ponies seemed to grow up to become neurotic messes, as the modern term went.

My sister narrowed her eyes. "I was a rather busy mare, sister."

"Aye, and so am I," I said. "Which is why I cannot spare time for the Gala."

She stared at me for a long moment before she finally spoke. "I see. So be it, then." She let out a long-suffering sigh. "If my efforts as a regent of the moon were so unappreciated..."

I winced as I realized I had taken my deception too far. True, I did not wish to torture myself by hosting a dull and pointless party, but 'twas not my intent to hurt my sister's feelings while doing so. There has been far too much discord between us, much of it of my making. 

"That is not what I meant, sister," I said quickly. "Thou wert very busy, and 'twas too much for any one pony to attend to." I scraped a hoof along the ground, accidently uprooting a cabbage in the process. "Ruling Equestria is a duty too great for any single pony to bear. We were meant to rule together and share those burdens."

"Yes, we were." A shadow of a smile found its way back to her mouth. "And now ... we shall again."

I smiled back at her. "That idea I like."

"Me too." She gave me a quick nuzzle. "It is good to have you back, sweet sister."

"'Tis good to be back." I smiled at my sister and she returned with one of her own.

The moment between us was disturbed when Daggoth smashed through the side of the barn with a roar. This despite the fact the barn had a perfectly serviceable door and now two Daggoth sized holes in it. "Are you seriously ignoring Daggoth the Destroyer for this—this—" he let out yet another, frustrated roar.

This latest display from the demon actually managed to bring a frown to Tia's mouth. "Excuse me, but my sister and I are having a moment."  Daggoth opened his mouth to speak, but my sister talked over him. "Please don't disturb us." She spread her wing and her eyes glowed and the air grew hotter as she revealed a hint of the true power of the sun. "I have waited a thousand years to have moments like these with my sister. So if you will be so kind as to wait a few minutes for us to finish, I would be most appreciative."

Daggoth stammered at Tia's change in demeanor. My sister was not one to revel in battle, but there was a vast difference between somepony who was unwilling to fight and one who was merely reluctant, and it had probably just gotten through Daggoth’s thick skull that he was indeed playing with fire with his antics.

The demon cleared his throat and did not meet our eyes. “Maybe just for a couple minutes. Just a couple. For, um, Daggoth has much to destroy and conquer this day...”

My sister gave him a beatific smile. “Thank you. We'll fight you in five minutes. Promise.” She turned back to me. “Now then, where were we?”

“I believe we were finishing talking about ruling together.” I tapped my chin as I thought about where we had last left off. “And probably moving to the part where thou speakest of harmony and friendship.”

“Ah, of course.”  She smiled, though with a hint of mischief in her eyes, and drew me into a warm hug. “We will rule together, in friendship and harmony.”

While I felt slightly embarrassed by the public display of affection, I hugged my sister back. Like her, I had missed such times as these. “Thou canst be so predictable at times. Dost thou know that?”

“I suppose so. But so can you,” she said, prodding my chest.

“That just comes from knowing me so long,” I countered. “Not that 'tis a bad thing. We are sisters, after all.”

“Not at all,” Tia agreed. “And I love you, Luna.”

“And I love you too.” I glanced over to Daggoth, who seemed preoccupied with glaring balefully at some cabbage cart. “Now was there anything else, or can we bind this demon already? I would prefer to make sure he does not cause any more havoc due to our neglect.”

My sister nodded. “I believe that was it.” She released the hug and turned to face Daggoth. “Then let us attend to business.”

I stretched out my wings and rolled my neck. “So sister, dost thou wish to befriend this lackluster abomination, or can we just defeat or destroy him outright?”

“Let us try and reason with him again.” She called out to the demon. “Daggoth, will you accept the magic of friendship? We sit down and talk about what you want and see if we can find a reasonable compromise. The offer of tea and cake is still on the table, and I find every talk is better with some tea and cake.”

“I don't want cake, I want to drink your heartsblood!” Daggoth roared, smacking the cabbage cart he had been eyeing earlier and send it flying and crashing to the ground.

My sister let out a soft sigh. “I suppose we won’t be able to compromise. A pity.”

I rolled my eyes. My sister had always been too soft on our enemies in my opinion. “Finally. We have done quite enough destroying of this poor farmer's cabbage farm fighting this thing. So can we actually destroy the demon, or dost thou wish to send it to that inefficient prison Tartarus.” I grinned at her. “Or mayhaps thou art hoping to add to thy gaudy garden statue collection?”

“I like my statues,” she said haughtily.

“But thou didst always get so upset when I collected trophies in the past,” I countered in a tone that most certainly was not a whine.

She frowned, no doubt remembering some of the prizes I had brought home from my noble quests to rid Equestria of threats. “Yours were too ... messy. Severed heads are unsanitary.”

"Always concerned about how everything will stain that white coat of thine," I said with a sigh, having had this conversation more times than I could remember. "I still think it is still the best way to send a message."

"We can be a bit kinder." She gave me that sweet look she always gave me when she was trying to bring me over to her side of a discussion. "Could we please do it my way this time? I don't want this to be a point of contention between us."

"Oh fine," I relented, thinking it best to not cause an argument between us. I could always hunt monsters down my own way when I was not with my sister. "We will do it thy way this time. Though thou dost owe me."

That brought a pleased smile to her face. "Thank you, dear sister. Now then, let's take care of Daggoth here before it gets too late. I know you're already up past your bedtime."

I let out an annoyed huff as we slowly approached the demon. "You know well enough that I am no longer a child, Tia."

"You'll always be my little sister, Luna."

> The Gala Trap
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


Anything But The Gala


Chapter 2: The Gala Trap



CR 1002


"Why are dungeons always such a mess?" Cadance asked as her horn caught on some webbing draping from the ceiling of the entrance to the Blackmoor Spire. Her face contorted with disgust, and she cast a spell to clear out the dust and cobwebs that had clogged up the stone-lined dungeon entrance. At least the webs had not been accompanied by unusually large spiders too. The odd adventurer or couple looking for a risque spot to make love probably did not provide enough succor for such creatures. That was usually something many stories of adventure and monsters tended to neglect, the ecology of how places such as these tended to actually work.

I stepped forward to take point as we continued down the passageway. "I suspect it has something to do with the fact they don't have a full staff to maintain them. Cherish the thought of what would happen to the palace back in Canterlot if not for the hard work of our staff."

Cadance sighed and nodded. "I suppose." Her head tilted as she looked at a one of the gargoyles that lined the hallway. "But why do people spend so much time and resources building places like this when they just let it fall into disrepair?"

"It depends on the specific ruin," I said to my niece, keeping a wary eye out for dangers. "Some merely fall into disuse due to no longer being needed. Then you have your tombs that are left to the dead. And then you have a place like Blackmoor here." I waved vaguely down the corridor. "A place intended to hide and protect some artifact best left undisturbed. Though I have found such methods to be ... unreliable, we will say." It always struck me as inevitable that someday someone would manage to delve into one of these foreboding places and manage to penetrate its defenses. Especially when those defenses tended to erode with time.

“I suppose,” Cadance mused unhappily. “Let’s just deal with this problem before I get spiderwebs in my mane. Actually, now that I’ve just remembered it...” She cast a retrieval spell, causing her body to glow for a moment before it was covered in a crystalline armor. “There, I’ve been waiting for the opportunity to put on this armor.”

I looked her up and down. “It suits you. A creation of your subjects?”

She nodded. “The crystal ponies can do some wonderful things with crystals. It was a gift from one of the city’s guilds. Go figure, most everypony were happy when I outlawed slavery and had their chains melted.”

“King Sombra’s reign was one of nothing but misery and poverty.” Taking my niece’s example, I cast a spell to don mine own dark armor. Likely it would only become more dangerous as we pursued our quarry further into the dungeon. "I think a court fool would have been more popular than Sombra in the Crystal Empire, and probably have ruled better in any event." Little surprise, the crystal ponies had little love for the ruler that had enslaved them and whose only motivation to work was the promise of a lashing if they did not work fast enough. Likely there were several diseases that were more popular than Sombra.

"I can't really disagree with you in that one," Cadance said. "Why I want to make sure this warlock doesn't get her hooves on the Octahedron of Ka'alka'mah to try and resurrect Sombra." It was said that the Octahedron could amplify certain forms of dark magic. I was not certain if it could bring back Sombra, but it seemed best not to take chances.

"Yes, if we are lucky, we can catch up with the warlock before she gets into anymore trouble." Reasonably sure that the passage was safe, I proceeded down it, Cadance close behind me. "What was her name again? In our rush to catch up with her, I seem to have forgotten."

"Her real name is Pink Rose." An amused grin spread over Cadance's lips. "But now she calls herself Deathbringer, Master of Evil."

I chuckled. "Really? That is what she is going by?” From what I had heard from Cadance, Pink Rose was a passionate young unicorn mare from a local magic school near the Crystal Empire. She had taken to the idea that she was now a grand and fearsome practitioner of the black arts who would soon resurrect King Sombra with the Octahedron. Her teachers and parents insisted it was more of a case that she had read one too many bad novels where warlocks and monsters were really just tormented souls who just needed some nice and caring mare to make them better. Whatever the case may be, I had been near the area touring my realm when Cadance had asked me to assist her with preventing the return of an old nemesis and keep Pink Rose from getting herself hurt. 

“Why must ponies always give themselves such ridiculous names when they turn to the black arts?” I mused. “'Tis always something like Ebony Doomhammer the Obsidian Hearted or Darksun Nihilist the Unforgiving.”

"Twilight has a theory that using black magic makes ponies want to give themselves awful names and wear too much black," Cadance said. "It's actually really interesting if you ever get the opportunity to ask her."

Considering I had taken to calling myself Nightmare Moon and what that had done to mine own wardrobe when I had fallen to dark powers, I had to wonder if Twilight Sparkle's theory had some validity to it. "Yes, that is perhaps true," I said tensely, not wanting to get into the specifics of that topic lest it come back to my own activities.

Cadance waved the issue off.  "In any case, how have you been? We don't get to spend nearly enough time together. Especially since I started ruling the Crystal Empire."

A pang of guilt ran through me. I knew well the pain of being neglected, however much unintentionally, could hurt. "I have been well. Though I think you are right about something. I should try and make more time for my beloved niece."

"Oh, I didn't mean to imply you weren't making enough time for me," she was quick to say. "We've both been really busy, after all. I know I've been busy, busy, busy getting the Crystal Empire back on its hooves. Go figure, it’s a lot of work to modernize the city from an inefficient slave economy Sombra had set up.”

“Of course, I understand completely.” My niece had been most diligent in her tasks, and I could hardly lambast her for seeing to the happiness of her subjects. “We each have our duties, but seeing to family is also part of our duties and not one to be neglected. Something I have sought to improve upon for the future.” Certainly that was something I had been working on with my sister since my return. While it had not always been easy, it had been worthwhile.

“Well, I certainly won't complain if you come by to visit more often.” She gave me a sweet smile. “Especially if we can go on an adventure now and again like this. I know it’s important, but things can be sooo boring in the Crystal Empire. I could use a little bit of excitement in my life.”

I could not help but let a grin creep onto my lips. It seemed my niece had a bit of a heart of an adventurer in her. She no doubt knew that I tended to be more hooves-on with dealing with Equestria’s problems than my sister. Especially when it came to dealing with things like monsters. Tia would of course rise to the occasion when matters pressed, but she received little joy from crushing monsters. “I see little reason not to. I would treasure the odd adventure with my niece.” I held up a leg to stop Cadance’s progress down the tunnel. “Oh, and mind the spike pit trap there.” With a burst of telekinesis, I struck a section of the floor and the trap door swung open, revealing a pit filled with rusted spikes at the bottom. 

Cadance craned her neck to see down the pit and the spiky fate that befell anypony unfortunate enough to fall inside. “Oh, thank you.” Her horn glowed, and there was a crackle as the pit was filled with crystals. Within a few moments, all that remained of the pit was smooth crystal floor. No doubt she had learned the spell from her new subjects, and a bit of pride swelled within me to see my niece so capably deal with the annoyance. Mayhaps ‘twould have been better to merely fly over the pit and save her magic for other trials, but I did not wish to dour our current bonding with such criticisms. Instead, I lead the way across the floor she had created.

“So, I trust you are settling well within the Crystal Empire?” I asked. “You have of course been in your aunts’ thoughts while you have been away.”

“Very well,” Cadance said, following after me. “The crystal ponies are wonderful.”

I spotted what I believed to be a pressure plate, accompanied by scores of suspiciously spaced holes along the walls. “And they are adapting to the modern age? I know from personal experience that can be difficult.” Not wishing to bother with being held up long by this trap, I created a layer of ice along the walls where the holes were. Just to be careful, I created a shadow clone of myself that promptly stepped onto the pressure plate. There was a crack, and I heard something jam somewhere within the walls.

“It helps that they have a full society, I think.” Cadance continued with me now that the immediate passage was safe. “Plenty of other ponies who know exactly what they're going through, so they can support one another. It helps that everypony else in Equestria has been really supportive.”

I hummed unhappily. “Yes, having company would help.” It was difficult to not let old memories of bitterness resurface, no matter how much I might try and put them to the side.

“I'm sure Celestia helped you with your transition, right?” she asked, detecting my sudden tension.

“She did, as well as she could.” I made a sour look as we reached a trio of pendulum blades that were swinging back and forth across the hallway, ready to slice anypony that walked past in half. Of course there were pendulums; why would there not be? My sour look of course had nothing to do with my sister. “Almost excessively, considering she planned out every detail of my... rehabilitation. I think a thousand years of worry caused her to overplan.”

“Huh, that's unusual for her.” Following my example, Cadance used her magic to create more crystals to jam the pendulums in place.

“You think so?” I asked. “I have always found her to be a plotter.”

“Yes, but she's usually a bit more...” Cadance searched for the right word, no doubt not wishing to find too much offense in her adoptive aunt and mentor. Most ponies usually tried very hard not to find fault with my sister. “Subtle. To be fair, Auntie Tia was very happy to have you back.”

“That puts it a bit mildly,” I groused, many of the trying memories after my return coming back to me. “Between the feast and celebration she had planned. Remodeling and redecorating my new room in the palace. A hundred tutors to help teach me about the modern world. And a dozen other things. She had drawn up a full schedule for the first year after my return. Then there were the ... what were they called? Ah yes, bonding exercises with my sister.”

One of Cadance's eyebrows queries. "Bonding exercises?"

I sighed. "Imagine if you had a somewhat overbearing sister who had a millennium to come up with things she wanted to do with you. A sister she loved very much but had not seen for all that time."

It took Cadance a long moment to fully absorb the situation I was presenting her with. She finally settled on a simple, "Oh."

"Aye, 'oh.'" Tia of course meant well, but she could be unintentionally domineering at times. "It has been slightly trying. Though not all of it has been bad. I really must tell you the story of when the two of us had to solve a series of puzzles in order to escape a room. It was quite entertaining. Mayhaps we could do so again with you next time?"  I was about to say more when I heard the quickly growing rumble coming down towards us from a stairway. Looking up, I saw a boulder rolling down at us. It seemed whoever had designed this dungeon had decided to use all the classics. At the rate we were going, we would have to watch out for falling blocks and a slowly lowering ceiling.

“One moment please,” I said to Cadance, who had spread her wings as though to flee. Bringing forth my magic, I extended my shadow forth to cover the floor in front of us.

“Um.” Cadance shuffled in place and looked behind, no doubt feeling the urge to flee as the boulder rolled closer. “Shouldn’t we run? I like the idea of running.”

“Patience, niece.”

“I think patience is about the last thing we need when—” Cadance let out a short scream and covered her face when the boulder was about to strike us, but instead of rolling over us, it fell into my shadow as though it were a deep hole. My niece held that position for a long moment, her eyes closed in a wince as she waited for a boulder that would never deliver on its mission. Eventually, she said, “You did something to the boulder, didn’t you?”

“Aye,” I said simply.

Cadance slowly opened her eyes and saw that doom had not befallen us. She straightened herself and tried to salvage her dignity. “Well, um, that’s good.”

I grinned at her. “Indeed. I would never see you hurt if there is anything I can do about it.” I gave her a teasing prod to the shoulder. “And worry not, I will not tell anypony about the incident with the boulder.”

“Right.” Clearing her throat, Cadance stepped forward in a prim manner, no doubt hoping to put her minor humiliation behind her. “Now, what were we talking about before? I forget.”

“About my sister’s over enthusiastic love for me and her displays of affection,” I said, keeping up with her.

“Right, right. She means well,” Cadance said in Tia’s defense. “Even if she is taking it a bit too far. I mean, it’s not like she's doing anything too awful, like asking you to go to the Gala with her.”

“Nooo, not exactly,” I hedged. “More like she is asking me again to host the Gala for her.”

“Don't.” Cadance shivered as though somepony ran something slimey down her spine. “Just ... find an excuse to get away. Any excuse. It doesn’t matter what.”

That caused me to quirk an eyebrow. “It is that bad? I have heard rumors, but... And I thought you loved parties.” Like my sister, Cadance was a social butterfly at the grand balls and parties I had seen her attend. Though with the energy and flair that came with youth. A pit of worry was beginning to grow within my belly. If both my sister and niece despised the Gala, then I saw little hope that I would fare any better.

“I hated hosting the Gala,” she said with an acid that I had only seen her reserve for Queen Chrysalis herself. “The Gala isn't a party. It's—it’s a sick mockery of what a party ought to be!”

“Why do you think so?” I asked.

“It's just ... it's not fun at all.” Cadance rubbed at one of her forelegs. “It's the snootiest party of the year with a bunch of snooty ponies standing around being snooty. For hours. Nopony has fun at the Gala. It’s more about being seen at the Gala. Everypony's so busy looking good and worrying about their image that...” She groaned and rubbed at her face. “And then there’s greeting everypony. It’s the least enjoyable thing I’ve ever done. I spent hours and hours just greeting everypony that came and shaking their hooves. It never stopped, and I couldn't get away all evening.  I swear, ponies were double dipping and getting back in the line to shake my hoof again. When I woke up the next morning, it felt like somepony had taken a mallet to my hoof. Repeatedly.”

I took a moment to think over what I had been told. “And nopony is enjoying themselves? Yet most ponies do nothing but glorify the Gala.”

Cadance rolled her eyes. “It's all about social obligations and looking good. Well, you can have some fun if you’re there with friends, but you don’t really get that option when you’re hosting. All alone. On the stairs. Shaking hooves. All. Night. Long.”

“Ah, I see ‘tis one of those types of events,” I said. “That would explain why everypony acts the way they do.” It also meant that I wanted nothing to do with the Grand Galloping Gala. The trick, of course, was how to stay away without overly offending my sister.

Cadance nodded. “Exactly. And I’ll tell you right now, we aren’t doing anything like the Gala in the Crystal Empire. Not if I have anything to say about it.” She grinned widely. “And as Princess of the Crystal Empire, I do. So there.”

“That strikes me as wise.” I grinned at her. “So, I suppose this means I cannot convince you to host the Gala in my sister and I's stead?”

“No. Nononononono.” Cadance shook her head vigorously. “Never, not a chance, not happening, not ever. I swear the only way you will get me to the Gala is to drag me kicking and screaming.” She blinked as her outburst ended. “Er, sorry.”

I smiled mischievously. I did have to admire her spirit, even if it had not been fully tempered by age and experience yet. “It is fine, my niece. I know how it is. Still, my sister wishes for me to host the Gala, and I seem to have few options if I am to ward off her pleas.”

“You could always say no,” she said, stating the obvious.

I hummed unconvinced as we approached a large double door. “It is not as simple as that. I do not wish to hurt her feelings, for one.” Studying the door, I saw that it was covered by a series of panels that looked as though they could be shifted around to make some sort of picture. A puzzle, then. 

“Oh, of course not,” Cadance readily agreed, also carefully examining the door.

“And she has ways of ... manipulating others,” I finished carefully.

“I've noticed.” My niece moved one of the panels to an empty spot, confirming my suspicions that they could move. “That's how she got me to do it the one year. And now she wants you to host the Gala?”

“So she does. Take my hoof if you would.” I extended my hoof to her. “Though she has been circumspect about the details. Most likely because she does not wish to give me reason to reject her outright.”

Cadance took my hoof. “And probably because she knew ponies would warn you.”

“And that has been the case. Mine own advisors, however reluctantly, told me of my sister’s loathing for the Gala.” Seeing no reason to delay our quest with a trivial puzzle, I used my magic to turn the two of us into a star-filled cloud. I willed us forward and probed at the bottom of the door and found a crack. We pushed through and arrived at the other side of the door. There, I returned us to our material forms.

My niece blinked as she regained her bearings. “Nice trick. Mind teaching it to me someday?”

I gave her an impish grin. “Only if I can have a place to hide from my sister until the Gala is over.”

She rubbed her chin. “Go right ahead. Tell her that you want to spend some time with me, and that I would love to spend some time with you.” A pleased smile worked its way onto her lips. “Which would be true. We did talk about spending more time together just a little bit ago.”

“True.” Thinking over the matter carefully for any flaws in the plan and finding none, I nodded. “I believe this plan can work.”

Cadance’s smile became a sickeningly sweet one as she leaned towards me. “And of course you will owe me a favor afterwards.”

My niece's manipulation of events caused me to chuckle. "I see my sister has taught you well in the realm of politics. You have quite grasped when to seize what advantages you can. Though I ask that you take some mercy on your poor beleaguered aunt." I leaned my head until we were almost touching muzzles and gave Cadance a wolfish grin that made her swallow nervously. "For I will remember if you do me wrong, and I have a very long memory."

"Nothing too bad, I promise," she was quick to say. "Just a little something down the line, if that's okay."

I nodded, having teased my niece enough. "That should be fine. I am sure a fine young mare such as yourself will not abuse my goodwill, and I will owe you a boon for helping me avoid the Gala." Whatever favor Cadance was likely to ask in the future would have to be better. At least that was a risk I was willing to take.

The two of us traveled further into the dungeon until we arrived in a large chamber. From wall to wall was a grid of tiles with all manner of different creatures stamped upon each of them. The grid divided the room, and it was not a difficult guess that this was another puzzle of some sort. One had to wonder what type of person thought that this type of arrangement was best to keep out intruders. Mayhaps very bored architects.

On our side of the chamber stood a young mare with a dark pink coat. She was wearing a black robe and saddlebags and was cautiously levitating a staff near the tiles, bringing the staff down near a tile but only to pull the staff back up before committing to the act. As Cadance and I walked closer to her, I noticed that the mare was in a disheveled shape. Her azure mane looked as though a brush had not touched it for at least a few days, her attire was badly worn, and the strap to her saddlebags looked about ready to snap off of her. It seemed that we had found Pink Rose, and before she managed to find the object of her quest. That was much better than how these things normally went.

At last she finally committed to placing the end of her staff onto a tile and was paid for her action with a pillar of flame descended from the ceiling. It caught the staff on fire and the mare dropped it with a yelp of surprise. She backed away from the fire in a scramble, not looking where she was going until she bumped into me.

“My, ‘tis a good thing you did not attempt that with your hoof,” I said, not being able to keep myself from teasing the young mare.

She yelped again and whirled to face me and Cadance. “P-p-princesses!” Her pupils shrunk to pinpricks and she backed away from us in a hurry. Such a hurry that Cadance was forced to put up a shield between her and the tiles in order to keep her from setting off the trap again.

“Careful, Pink Rose,” cautioned Cadance. “You don’t want to hurt yourself.”

After a few seconds to think about the situation she was in, Pink Rose regained something of her composure. She widened her stance and her horn glowed as she drew upon her magic. “S-stay back! I k-know a lot of magic!" 

I shot her an unimpressed look. "Child, I have defended Equestria for centuries. Over that time I have defeated numerous warlocks, thrown down terrible tyrants, cast demons back into their hell dimensions, smote demigods, and destroyed eldritch horrors that would shred the minds of mere mortal ponies who were to simply bear witness. Do you really think you can defeat me in battle? Much less with my niece and fellow alicorn by my side?"

The wheels in Pink Rose’s head rotated quickly as she considered the situation before her. Eventually her head drooped and her horn ceased glowing. “No.”

I shook my head. “Nooo.”

"Pink," Cadance said in a tone normally reserved for mad ponies. "Let's just stop all this—"

"My name is Deathbringer, the Mistress of Evil!" Pink Rose insisted with a stomp of her hoof, some of her fire returning.

Seeing her be so insistent on the ridiculous name made me cover my mouth as I snickered. The mare looked less a threat to the world than a young adult who was rebelling against her parents.

Seeing me find amusement at her attempt to be intimidating caused Pink Rose stare at me open mouthed as her ears fell to her head. Likely I had hurt her pride, a prickly thing with those her age. "W-why are you laughing?!"

"I am sorry." I cleared my throat and regained my composure. "But do you know how ridiculous that name sounds?"

"It is not ridiculous!" Pink Rose said with all the confidence of a young mare overly concerned with the opinion of her peers.

"I am reasonably sure it is." I looked to Cadance. "Cadance, your opinion?"

"It is a little silly-sounding," Cadance said with an apologetic smile.

Pink Rose's ears drooped all the more. "Really?"

“'Tis so,” I said with a nod. “My apologies, but 'tis far too dramatic, to be honest.”

She considered the words before saying, “So what do I change it to?”

I sighed, hardly believing I was discussing this with a would-be warlock I had been chasing down but a few minutes ago. “If you must rename yourself, it would best to pick something unique, a name that fits who you are, but not something that would incite ridicule.”

Pink Rose rubbed her chin. “Maybe ... Darkness Doom?”

“I suggested unique,” I said, feeling my patience fraying a bit. “Have you read nothing of the chronicles of warlocks?”

“Raven Blacksign?” she said, trying again and failing.

I rubbed my forehead, feeling a headache coming on. “Mayhaps we could discuss this outside of the foreboding dungeon? This hardly seems the place to have a serious discussion about changing your name.” Leaving the dungeon would also take Pink Rose from her goal of obtaining its foul artifact, and after talking with the young mare, I was convinced that she was more misguided in her goals than truly evil.

Cadance nodded in agreement. “I think that would be for the best. It would also keep us from accidentally setting off some trap.” She looked back the way we had come. “Though I have to wonder how many traps we’ll have to deal with on the way back. You know, the stories never really cover that topic.”

“Er ... okay?” Pink Rose shuffled in place before giving me a slight, nervous smile. “I ... I've always been a huge fan of yours, so I really appreciate the help...”

My muzzle scrunched up in confusion. “A fan?”

“Mhm!” Pink Rose nodded enthusiastically. “I just loved you as Nightmare Moon! You were so cool, and moody, and oooh, I’m so nervous I don’t know what to say now that you’re here.” She let out a delighted squeal. “You’re as dreamy as Sombra is hunky. I just know that deep down you’re both good ponies who just want a friend to talk to.” 

I bit back my tongue to keep myself from losing my temper with the filly. To say the least, attempting to bring about everlasting darkness had not been the wisest of actions on my part. Much less that of a sane pony. “I am sure there is much we can cover once we are away from here.”

“Okay!” she exclaimed, hopping in place.

“Maybe we could go somewhere for lunch?” Cadance smiled in what I thought was an unhelpful manner.

Encouraging the young mare was not something I particularly wanted to do, but mayhaps some time spent with her could steer her back to the right path. She struck me as ultimately harmless, and quite capable to have gotten past all the previous lethal traps. Either that, or very lucky. Whatever the case might be, it was my duty to help my erstwhile subjects, and if it took a lunch with a mare who admired me for all the wrong reasons, so be it.

“That sounds like a good idea,” I agreed. “No doubt there is much we can discuss.”

Pink Rose let out another squeal of delight. “I'm eating lunch with Nightmare Moon!”

Suppressing a wince at the reminder of what I had previously called myself, I said, “My name is Luna, if you will be so kind.”

She gave me an eager smile, her desire to dine with me clearly evident. “Whatever you want, Luna!”

I sighed as I worked to maintain my patience. “Let us be away from this place then.”

“Alright!” Pink Rose trailed after me as I lead the way out of the dungeon, looking like a lost puppy as she did so. “Can ... can I shake your hoof?”

Cadance chuckled and whispered to me, no doubt enjoying my firm displeasure. “I think you have a fan...”

“So it seems,” I whispered back, shaking my ‘fan’s’ hoof. It was going to be a long meal. The things I do for my ponies...






CR 1003


"And these are my redecorated quarters, dear sister." I elegantly motioned at the refurbished room as we entered my quarters.

Tia took a long look about the room. "It's, um ... very you, Luna. Very different from how I had it set up after you had returned."

"I know!" A wide smile spread across my face. "Is it not wonderful?"

My sister took another analytical glance. As befit my tastes, the living room was now redone in dark blues, silvers, purples, and black. Motifs of the moon and bats were spaced all about the room. Along the walls sat shelves of dark wood with items such as skulls, books, and some items of personal value. In the center of the room sat some couches and cushions that had an air of sophistication but were still quite comfortable to sit on. About the walls were decorative weapons, a pair of armors made of dark metal, some taxidermied animals, and four gargoyles that sat high in each corner, staring down at anypony in the room. Overall, I was quite proud about how it had come together.

"I'm happy that you enjoy it, but it's..." My sister searched for what she wanted to say. "Very dark in here."

I frowned, not liking her tone. "I prefer it that way."

"I know," Tia was quick to say. "I'm just using a critical eye at the moment. Really, you should decorate your quarters in the way that makes you happy." She frowned as she stared at a silver and gem encrusted skull. "Though did you have to bring the skulls back?"

I puckered out my lips in a pout. "What is wrong with my skulls?" I levitated the skull she had looking at to my chest and I hugged it there. "I like my skulls. I find them endearing."

Tia spoke with careful deliberation. "They are a bit ... grim."

"Really?" I lifted the skull to examine it. "I did not think so."

“You always did have very different tastes from most ponies.” Tia next turned to the stuffed owlbear that stood poised against one wall and gave it a contemplative frown. Its owl-like head open in a silent screech, its large bear-body looming, and long claws outstretched to rend its hapless victim. “And I see that you’ve collected some new taxidermy for the room.”

“Oh indeed.” I placed myself next to the dead owlbear and smiled to my sister. “Is he not magnificent? You have no idea how long I had to hunt to find an owlbear sufficient to meet mine own royal majesty. Not to mention how difficult it was to find a taxidermist skilled enough to please me. Really, it is as though the craft has died out over the last few centuries.” While the hunt itself had been quite exhilarating, actually tending to it had been a far more tedious exercise.

Tia’s head tilted ever so slightly as she stared at the owlbear. “Yes, it’s something of a mystery, I’m sure. You know, we probably could have hired somepony to make an artificial owlbear that would have looked at least as good as this one, and then you wouldn’t have had to go through all the trouble of killing this one and stuffing it.”

“But then it would be a fake!” I scoffed. “How could ponies trust me if the animals I displayed were not slain by mine own hooves?”

“I think you will find that ponies’ sentiments have changed over the last few centuries there,” Tia advised.

“Mayhaps,” I grudgingly allowed. So much had changed over the last millennium that it could be difficult to tell exactly what all had changed. Especially where things like taste were concerned. “Though I still prefer displaying an owlbear that I slew myself.”

“If that is your preference.” Her head swiveled to turn towards one of the armors. “Did that armor just groan?”

I nodded. “Most certainly. It does that every once in awhile.”

Tia sighed and rubbed at her forehead. “Luna, did you get a haunted armor? Again?”

I frowned. She had always been a stickler about such things. Really, as royalty we were expected to possess at least a few eccentricities like possessing haunted armor. Not to mention such things made for interesting talking points for guests. “Of course, it adds character to the armor, not to mention it allowed me to buy it at a considerable discount. And really, it’s hardly dangerous. All it does it moan for some scotch now and again.”

Tia wasn’t willing to let the issue drop that easily, naturally. “That type of thing unsettles the servants.”

“They will get used to it, they always do.” I waved dismissively. “Really, you do not need to baby them all the time. They are grown ponies and can deal with anything that is not dangerous.”

“I just want them to be comfortable.” She pointed at one of the gargoyles perched above us. “I mean, I’m certain that one gargoyle has been following me with its head since I entered the room.”

“Oh, it most certainly has.” I gave it a contemplative look, thinking back to the art dealer I had bought the collection of gargoyles from. “It seems that one has been possessed by some sort of spirit, though I have not been able to determine what yet. I will figure it out later when I have some time.” After all, it had taken me nearly three years to get around to redecorating my quarters to start with. Between reacclimating to the modern world, coming to grips with my royal duties once again, and a thousand other pressing problems like the occasional monster attack, issues like what furniture I had for my rooms had not been a priority. “I did get them all for a bargain thanks to the one being unusual.”

“That’s going to be unsettling to some,” Tia said.

I rolled my eyes. “I think you are worrying too much.”

“They’re your quarters,” my sister hedged. “Whatever makes you happy.”

“And happy I am,” I said with a firm nod. “Though doing so would have been a lot easier if so many of my things had not been ... lost over the centuries.” Considering my sister’s disapproval of my tastes, it was not hard for me to imagine that she had somehow managed to deliberately misplace most of my things. Certainly my quarters had been done up according to her own preferences. It was much ... brighter than I was accustomed to. There had been a sense that Tia had attempted to accommodate what would please me, but it had an undeniable flavor to it that had been her touch.

She sighed, no doubt because we had covered this topic before in the past. “I already told you, things happen over the course of centuries. Not to mention some items just get too old and aren’t good to use anymore.”

“Oh? So what happened to my old stuffed animals?” I asked while pointed at my owlbear. “The preservation enchantments I had interwoven into them should have allowed for their survival.”

My sister shook her head. “They were lost in the Fire of 472.” She paused and tapped her chin. “Or was that the Fire of 534? I always mix those two up.”

I frowned, not liking the idea of my old hunting trophies being turned into kindling. “And what about my old brooch? You know, the one with the emeralds and interlocking bats that I loved so. That should have stood the test of time.”

“Stolen by one of the servants, sadly.” She shook her head in a regretful fashion. “By the time we found out objects were going missing in the palace, your brooch had long disappeared on the black market, and we were never able to find it again.”

I growled out several things under my breath that were more appropriate for a grizzled old soldier than a princess. It seemed that I might need to make an effort of finding some of my old jewelry someday once I found the time for it. “Then what happened to my some of my paintings? Like my Starry Night Over The Roam? Do not tell me all of them were lost to a fire too.”

“Mmm, not exactly.” Tia hesitated before speaking again. “You see, it turns out your Starry Night Over Roam was a fake and—”

“What?!” A rage flowed over me. That painting had been among the pride of my collection of art pieces. “I bought that painting from a reputable dealer! It was supposed to be the original!”

My sister shuffled ever slightly on her hooves, looking like she would rather be in a great many other places at the moment to mine eyes. “Not as reputable as you or a lot of ponies thought. Turns out the pony you bought it from had been swindling ponies across Equestria with very convincing fakes at the time. When it was discovered what he had done a couple centuries after the fact, I had your painting checked by some experts and they determined it was a fraud. I couldn’t let you be showing a fake, so I had it quietly sold off during a minor auction for a charity.”

My ears wilted as my rage slowly subsided. Tia had probably acted as best she could considering the situation. It would not due for a princess to proudly be showing off a fake painting. “I swear, I have half a mind to bring that stallion back from the dead to give him a severe lesson about what he has done to me.”

“Luna...” Tia said in a chiding tone she reserved when she wished to warn me I was about to misbehave.

I let out a frustrated sigh. “Very well, sister. No necromancy to punish ponies that have done me wrongs in the past.” I grumbled under my breath. “No matter how much they might deserve it.”

“Thank you,” Tia said graciously. "And really, at the end of the day, we're talking about things, and most things can be replaced."

I sighed. "Aye, it is so." And it was not as though I did not have a budget with which to buy new things. My only real concern was for things of more sentimental value. That thought reminded me of something I wished to bring up with my sister. "By the way, I have been meaning to ask you something. You remember my favorite doll from when I was a child do you not? Batsy?"

Tia spoke with a reluctance I was not accustomed to hearing from her. "Yes, I do."

"Good, because I could not find him when I looked around in the palace's storage." I frowned upon the memory. The servants had rather exaggerated their organization of the odds and ends the palace had collected over the centuries. Due to the fact that the palace was built right into the mountain, it meant that there was quite a bit of room to build down, something our ancestors had taken full advantage of. While the old kings and queens of Unicornia no doubt had their purposes for the rooms they had carved from the mountain's stone, my sister and I had found a more mundane use for all the rooms: storage. As a result, there were rooms upon rooms filled with crates, racks of clothes that had been put aside due to the ever-changing whims of fashion, and all sorts of imaginable knickknacks that had been collected over our considerable lifetimes. It felt as though I had descended into a byzantine maze of the ages as I quested to find my beloved Batsy and other personal effects that might have survived the passage of time.

"It is something of a mess down there." Tia cleared her throat. "If you like, we can talk with the majordomo about having that seen too."

"Mayhaps we should."  While there was wisdom in having an audit to see exactly what all we had collected, I sensed that what my sister really wanted to do was change the conversation from Batsy. That was one of her usual tactics for avoiding a discussion she did not wish to have. "Though at the moment I'm more concerned about Batsy. Would you happen to know what happened to him?"

"I..." Seconds ticked by as I scowled at her. Whatever she was thinking, I wanted to know the truth of the matter. Not fed some white lie to save my feelings. Eventually, she drew herself up, as though a pony about to admit something before facing the gallows. "Luna, I'm really sorry, but I gave Batsy away to one of my students a long time ago."

My eyes widened. "You gave Batsy away?! What gave you the right to give away the most cherished item of my childhood?"

Tia winced. “Once again, I’m sorry.” She looked away from me. “I was weak. If you had seen the adorable little smile on Stargazer’s face when she asked if she could have Batsy...”

I left out a huff and turned my back to my sister. “Well, it seems like there is nothing to be done about it now. My doll is gone, as are most of my possessions, and it seems you do not appreciate how I have decorated my rooms. It seems this evening is turning out to be a failure.” My choler was now up after all the humiliations I had just suffered. All I had wanted to do was show Tia my quarters and have her be happy for me, but it seemed even that was not going to work out.

“Luna...” Tia wrapped a wing around me and gave me a nuzzle. “There is so much I wish I could turn back the clock on to make better, I really do. But I’m not perfect. All we have is the present and the future, and I’m working very, very hard to make things right.”

I let out a long sigh. “I know, I know. Having discord with you is not my intention. In my heart I know you have done your best. It is just ... you can drive me crazy sometimes.”

Tia grinned and poked me in the ribs. “I could say the same about you.”

“I only wished for you to be pleased with how my rooms looked,” I said. “Though with it still being mine. Not ... something you had designed for me to try and make me happy.”

“I understand.” She pecked me on the forehead. “Now how about you show me your bedroom? I’m curious to see what you’ve done with it. Given some time, I think I’ll warm up to all of this. If I had to guess, I’ve grown a bit too used to having my way around the palace all the time. It would be nice to spice this place up a little bit, and add some variety to the decor.”

A smile returned to my face. I knew my sister was putting up a front for my sake, but that didn’t make it any less precious to me. “If you insist.” I lead the way towards my bedroom. “And ... did Batsy make your student happy?”

Tia nodded. “Very. The smile Stargazer gave me when I said she could have him made my heart melt. Batsy meant as much to her as he did to you.”

“That is good,” I allowed. “Batsy should not have gone to waste if he could make another child happy.”

“I’m happy to hear you agree.” Tia followed me into the bedroom, a room that looked much the same as the living room in decor, though filled with more of my personal effects that actually survived the passages of the last millennium. “Oh, and before I forget, I wanted to ask you something.”

“What is it?” I asked.

Tia lifted her wing from my back and folded it back to her side. “I was wanting to ask if you were interested in hosting the Grand Galloping Gala this year?”

I was very careful not to betray any emotions on my face when she asked that question. I had known that this question was coming sooner or later, but not exactly when. Thankfully, I already had a response ready for my sister. “Mmm, I am sorry, dear sister, but I think I will be visiting Cadance again in order to assist her with her duties. She was very thankful when I had visited her last year, and had asked that I please return again this year.” I smiled, feeling secure in having avoided attending the Gala for yet another year. “And naturally, I cannot turn down a visit to our beloved niece. I am sure you understand.”

The barest smile creeped up along the edges of her mouth, and it created a pit of dread in my stomach. “Oh? You didn’t hear the news?”

That pit grew within me. “Hear what?”

Though her face was carefully neutral, I could not help but notice a hint of mirth in her voice. “That Cadance is going to an international conference overseas, of course. At first she said that she was too busy to go on an international tour with so much work to do in the Crystal Empire. The problem is that we really do need a princess to go to that conference, and so I offered her the opportunity to host the Gala, allowing me to go to the conference myself. Though when I suggested that she all but jumped onto going to the conference, funny enough.”

She knew that I was intentionally trying to get out of the Gala. Not that she would say as much. The game had not progressed to that point yet, but the two of us were now playing, and playing to win. That meant I needed to think of a counter move and fast.

“I see...” My mind raced to think of something, any excuse not to host the Gala, but my mind was drawing a blank. That being the case, I switched tactics. “I will consider it. But first I need to talk with my advisors about it. I do not wish to spring such an important decision on them without their counsel on it.” A delaying tactic seemed like the best one at the moment. At the very least it would buy me time to think of another solution to this problem.

“That should be fine,” my sister relented, though I detected her unhappiness in her tone. No doubt she knew exactly what tactic I was using. Pity for her she could not call me out on it without revealing her own hand.

Either way, best not to dwell on the issue too long lest she find a way to turn the tide completely against me. “In the meantime, let me show you around my bedroom.”

Tia sucked in a breath through her lips as she took in the view. “And I see it’s even more you than the living room...”

> Most Terrible Indeed
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


Anything But The Gala


Chapter 3: Most Terrible Indeed


"Thanks for helping me with this problem, Princess Luna." Twilight Sparkle gestured as the mob of ponies slowly closed with us. A few of Ponyville’s residents even had torches and pitchforks. And here I had thought such things had gone out of fashion. "You could say this got a little out of hoof." She smiled sheepishly. "I did kind of cause this ... situation to start with."

"But of course, Twilight Sparkle. It is only proper to aid another princess." I looked back and forth over the mob that had filled the street. Studying the mob carefully, my careful eye noted that it was made up of ponies of all types, from the very young to the very old, and contained each different breed of pony, with no division of class or profession I could see. Finally, but definitely not the least important detail, all of the gathered ponies had a hint of a blue glow in their irises. It did not take me long to feel the power that controlled their minds. I held up my hoof to tell my gathered guards to remain on the defensive. "Though I have been meaning to ask what happened here. Your letter was lacking in details while pleading for assistance."

The mob came closer than I felt comfortable with, and so gathering my magic, I cast my spell and a blue mist spread forth among the mob. As my sleep spell fell upon them, one by one, and then a few at a time as I continued to pour on my power, each pony lost the battle to remain conscious and fell to the ground in a slumber.

Twilight Sparkle growled with annoyance. "I did have to rush my letter out when all these mind-controlled ponies started breaking down my bedroom door." Seeing that the mob was now subdued, she went about zapping each pony with a spell she had invented to counter the mind control effect. I had to admit, she was quite the prodigy where magic was concerned. Not just anypony could have developed such a counter in such a limited period of time. She was even able to teach me the spell before we returned to the town proper.

"You see, I was experimenting with my portal to see if it was possible to reach even more dimensions than the one it was already connected to.” She finished up removing the spell that had enthralled her fellow Ponyville residents before turning back to me, a bright smile on her face. “I mean, could you imagine the possibilities if we could make successful first contact with another civilization? We could learn so much!"

Indeed, there were innumerable advantages if it could be done, but considering I was now standing over scores of ponies that had been brainwashed due to that first contact, I could not help but think that perhaps this was one of those ideas best shelved for safety reasons. 

"And let me guess: something went wrong?" Seeing that Twilight Sparkle was done, I motioned for my guards to see to the sleeping ponies and started down the street.

"Kinda-sorta," Twilight Sparkle admitted reluctantly, following after me. "I was successful in making first contact with another dimension. When I opened the portal during one of my tests, a being from another dimension hopped through. It was sooo exciting. A visitor from another dimension, and I was the first one to talk to him! He even said he wanted to be my friend when I asked him, and then—IncomingRainbowDash!”

Twilight Sparkle fell to the ground just in time for a rainbow colored blur to shoot over her head. It seemed that even the Elements of Harmony were not immune to the monster’s mind control. I fired off a series of blasts of the anti-mind control spell, but Rainbow Dash dodged each blast easily with her speed and wickedly quick turns.

“And then what?” I asked, trying, and failing to hit the damnably fast pegasus.

More blasts of magic shot from Twilight Sparkle’s horn as she added her own efforts to stop her friend. “And—and then he betrayed me! After he said he wanted to be my friend! He was going about mind controlling everypony behind my back. He even had me take him on a tour of the town to make it easier for him to meet everypony! I didn't realize what was happening until he showed up with half the town to try and capture me!”

“What perfidy.” I let out several curses my mother would not have approved of if she had heard them.

Rainbow Dash laughed as she ducked and weaved through our fire. “Ha! You ponies couldn’t hit the broadside of a barn!” She shook her rump mockingly at us. “What’s the matter, do I need to slow down for you? Because that isn’t happening!”

“This is futile!” I stomped a hoof in frustration. I was not used to being openly mocked as I was now, and I found I had no taste of it. “We have to control the battlefield or she will dodge until we exhaust ourselves.”

“She's too fast for us to hit.” Twilight Sparkle rubbed her chin, humming contemplatively to herself. “Hey Rainbow!” She took off from the ground. “I bet you can't beat me in a race!”

Rainbow Dash scowled at the challenge. It seemed that even as a thrall, her competitive streak won out. “What? I could beat you with four hooves tied behind my back!”

Twilight Sparkle gave me a conspiratorial wink. “Then try it.” She raced down the street and Rainbow Dash was not slow in following. It did not take long for Rainbow Dash to close the gap between them. She was nearly upon mine fellow princess when Twilight Sparkle snapped off a spell. A web that blocked the street suddenly appeared between her and Rainbow Dash. For once, her speed worked against her and she sped right into the web.

“Gyah!” Rainbow Dash struggled to untangle herself from the web, but only served to get more of herself trapped within it. “Hey, that's cheating!”

“I'm really sorry!” Twilight was quick to say. “I can let you beat me in a race when it isn't an emergency! Promise!”

Rather than debate the merits or demerits of the ethics of what had transpired, I immediately blasted Rainbow Dash with the counterspell. “Well played, Twilight Sparkle!” I called out to her.

She smiled sheepishly while hovering above me. “You really think so?”

“It accomplished our goals, did it not?” As a leader, it was wise to praise those around you that did well. Especially those that could use a bit of a confidence boost like seemed to be the case with my junior princess.

“That is true,” she said.

“Hey!” Rainbow Dash’s struggles against the web had now managed to get her upside down. “Can somepony cut me down?! I don’t even know how I got here!”

“Sorry, Rainbow.” Twilight Sparkle’s horn glew. “Just give me a second to cast the counter sp—aaah!” A length of cloth shot out from a nearby alley and wrapped itself around her rear legs. Before she could react, she was jerked off her hooves and pulled into the air. The other end of the cloth tied itself off on a second story flagpole, leaving Twilight Sparkle hanging.

I moved to assist her but I was tripped up by something snagging my rear legs as well. Looking back, I saw the rope constraining me being held by Applejack. Not wishing to see where she intended on going with this, I shot into the sky. The rope went taut and I pulled her into the air. 

Applejack hung from the rope, lost on what to do now that I had taken the initiative from her.

I did not give her the chance to recover when I shot a beam of magic down on her. It struck her and canceled out the mind controlling magic. The farmer blinked in confusion and shifted her grip on the rope to her legs so that she could speak. “What the hay am Ah doin’?! Princess Luna? Did Ah drink somethin' Ah shouldn't have?”

“Mind control,” I said simply.

“Oh. Again?”

I nodded. “Indeed so.”

More cloth shot towards Twilight Sparkle from the alleyway. Her eyes widened and she teleported out of the grasp the cloth that held her. Now freed, she flew into the alley. Several flashes of magenta magic came out of the alley before silence descended.

“I got her!” Twilight Sparkle flew out of alley with her friend Rarity being carried in her telekinetic field. For her part, Rarity was holding her head and groaning miserably. At least she seemed unharmed, so it seemed that our attempts to find the monster responsible for this mess was going along smoothly without any casualties.

“Very good.” I slowly descended so that Applejack could get back to the ground safely. “Now would you kindly untie my legs?”

“Of course, Princess!” Applejack removed the rope with all haste before giving me an apologetic smile. “Mighty sorry, didn't mean to.”

“Your will was not your own,” I assured her. I was not about to punish somepony who did something they had no say in. No, my judgement was to be saved for the monster responsible for the harm caused to my subjects. “Let us think nothing of it from this point forward and get you to safety.”

Rarity blinked a couple more times. “Would somepony mind explaining what’s happening? The last thing I really remember is Twilight visiting me at the Boutique with some—thing, and...” She shook her head to clear it. “My apologies, I seem to be out of sorts at the moment.”

Rainbow Dash continued her vain struggles against the web. Sadly, she seemed completely incapable of understanding that she was only making things worse for herself as she got herself completely covered in webbing. “Hey, you’re lucky. At least you’re not stuck in some big, dumb web!”

“Sorry about that,” Twilight Sparkle apologized again. “I swear, I’ll make it up to you later.” She waved to some of my guards, instructing them to come over to assist us. “Girls, if you could go with the nice Royal Guards here, I would really appreciate it. They will explain everything that's happening.”

What she did not say was that she was unsure if her spell would continue to counter the effects of our interdimensional invader. While I always welcomed allies in my battles against evil, that seemed less than wise when your enemy could turn your friends into enemies with their mere presence. Perhaps it was because of her alicorn nature, but Twilight Sparkle did not seem to be affected by the monster’s power, and I was assured by her that Spike had not been dominated either. We both guessed that was due to the natural magical resistance inherent to dragons. Still, it seemed best to send everypony else away who could potentially be turned against us. It was far from a perfect plan, but the fight against evil was rarely a safe venture.

After the guardponies had escorted the Element Bearers away, I returned to the task at hoof. “That just leaves Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy among your fellow Element Bearers.” Nopony else had approached us since this latest attack, but we had hardly combed the whole town for its mind controlled residents.

Twilight Sparkle shivered. “I really hope we don’t have to get into a fight with Pinkie Pie. That’s something I don’t even want to think about how it will go. And fighting Fluttershy ... that would be heartbreaking.” She pointed to her palace. “Now if I had to guess where a would-be evil overlord would set himself up to rule the world with his evil mind control powers...”

I nodded in agreement. “Ah yes, of course he would try to steal your palace.” It helped that her palace looked like a place where a villain would take up residence. Considering its cool colors, numerous jagged points, and intimidating appearance, somepony could have told me it was King Sombra’s summer residence and I would have believed them.

“I'm starting to develop a really bad record with my homes and monsters,” Twilight Sparkle grumbled.

“Fear not, together we shall dispatch the fiend and reclaim your home.” Having some monster take over the home and palace of one of Equestria’s princesses was hardly something that could be tolerated. There were images to maintain, afterall.

“Thanks.” She took the air. “Nothing to do but get to it. Come on.”

The two of us flew to the palace. Thankfully, we were not accosted again during the journey. At least that cut down on the number of incidents where somepony might be harmed in battle. Always a risk, no matter how careful Twilight Sparkle and I were. Of course, that left the matter of where all the other Ponyville residents were.

We reached the front door to the palace. Twilight Sparkle placed her hoof on the door, stopping before pushing it open. "Ready?" she asked.

Once we entered the palace itself, it would not be so easy to turn back. Who could say what sort of fiendish traps our nemesis had set for us within? The monster could have half the town as guards inside. Whatever the case might be, the battle was not going to become easier if we delayed due to indecision.

I nodded to her. "Go ahead. Let us see what surprises our enemy has in wait for us."

What greeted us when Twilight Sparkle threw open the door was not what I had expected. Brightly colored balloons and streamers were scattered about the entrance hall. The walls were lined with tables covered with all manner of cakes, drinks, cupcakes, sliced fruits, and other party food. There was a chocolate fountain on one table. But the thing that was perhaps the most catching of one's eye was the large ‘Welcome Our New Overlord!’ banner hanging from the ceiling. A dozen ponies were working about, preparing what could only be called a grand feast.

Twilight Sparkle's mouth hanged agape as she stared at the scene before her. "This ... was not what I expected."

"I believe this would be the work of Pinkie Pie, yes?" I asked, keeping a careful eye out in case this was merely an attempt to get us to lower our guard. I had seen more elaborate attempts to do so in the past of course. That did not even get into my experience with weddings.

As though summoned by her name, Pinkie Pie came bouncing over to us. "Hiya, Twilight, Princess Luna!" She said with her usual cheer and wide smile on her face. At least she was not wearing a chicken suit with which to harass me with this time. "You here to welcome our new overlord too? He was a bit saddy-waddy when you left all of a sudden, Twilight."

Twilight Sparkle gave me an unsure look, having been put off guard by the course of events. "Errr, something like that?"

I nodded, knowing when to seize a potential opportunity. "In a manner of speaking. Do you know where he is?"

"He's in the big chair, Harmony table room thingy." Pinkie Pie pointed the way to the room. "You know the one. I'm sure he'll want to see you right away! He likes seeing everypony so that they can bow to him, and everypony seems real happy to. And now we're going to get to have a huge party to welcome him!"

"Thanks, Pinkie." Twilight Sparkle quirked a confused eyebrow at me and then shrugged. No doubt accepting the reality of the situation as I had. "We'll go see him right now. How about you and everypony else stay here while we talk with him?"

"Okie dokie lokie!" Pinkie Pie said. "Just be sure not to run off again before the party."

Twilight Sparkle returned with a strained smile. "Um, sure thing."

"Let us go speak with him." I headed towards the room with my fellow princess in tow.

We entered into what amounted to Twilight Sparkle's throne room, though I would think it more adept to call it a conference room. Instead of there being a throne sitting at the end of room to best allow ponies to come before their sovereign to supplicate themselves and declare what problems plagued the realm, as was proper, there were several chairs sitting around a queer crystalline map of Equestria. I was sure the Elements of Harmony had their reasons for arranging things as such, but there was no reason they could not have given Twilight Sparkle a throne room sufficient for her majesty.

Upon the throne sat the fiend responsible for the madness that had gripped Ponyville. The monster looked like a hybrid between a cat and a bunny, and even standing at his full height would not have reached my knees. His coat was as white as snow. He had a pair of big, floppy ears, oversized fluffy paws, whiskers, and a pink nose. It stared at us with big blue eyes and was giving us a smug grin that only a feline-like face could achieve. Fluttershy was standing at his side, finishing brushing out his coat as we approached.

The monster’s smile became all the wider when we stopped before him, and he spoke in a voice much too high and sweet for such a malicious being. “So, have you finally come to supplicate yourself before Fluffums the Terrible?”

I fixed the would-be tyrant with a sour look. “No. I have come to stop your evil rule once and for all.”

Fluttershy gave us a sweet smile. “Could you please submit to Fluffums? He isn't that bad once you get to know him. I mean look at him, we couldn’t ask for a more adorable overlord.” She nuzzled Fluffums lovingly.

Unsurprisingly, it seemed that Fluttershy was firmly under the monster’s control. I had to wonder if Fluffums’ relative cuteness was merely a facet of how he came to enthrall ponies.

“He's something alright,” Twilight Sparkle growled. “I can’t believe you betrayed me! I thought we were friends.”

“Oh, we can still be friends,” Fluffums said with false pleasantry. “Just submit to my awesome power, and all your worries will just melt away.”

Rather than do that, or giving him the opportunity to use his mind control abilities, I turned my back to him and bucked out. My hoof struck his chest and sent him flying from the throne. Fluffums hit the wall and let out a squeak similar to that of a dog’s chewtoy at the impact. He fell to the floor in a clump with another squeak.

I smirked. “Awesome powers indeed.”

Fluttershy’s face became one of wide-eyed horror. “Oh no! Fluffums!” She ran over to him and examined him for injuries. “Are you okay?” Fluffums let out a groan of pain, and Fluttershy turned a furious glare my way, tears welling up in her eyes. “Why are you such a big meanie?! He hasn't hurt anypony! All he wanted to do was rule absolutely over all of ponykind with a fluffy paw. Is that so wrong?”

“Uh, yeah, it kind of is.” The only conflict Twilight Sparkle had in her eyes was over what type of spell with which to destroy the monster with. Before Fluttershy could cause us any more trouble, Twilight Sparkle hit her with the spell to cancel out the mind control effect.

Fluttershy blinked after being hit by the spell and looked around in confusion. “Why am I at the palace?” Eventually her eyes settled on Fluffums and she let out a gasp of surprise. “Aw, aren't you adorable! But what happened to you?”

Before Fluttershy could treat Fluffums’ injuries, Twilight Sparkle pulled her away with her telekinesis. “Step away from the mind-controlling monster, Fluttershy.” 

“But he looks hurt!” Fluttershy objected, tears forming in her eyes once again.

I, for one, held no sympathy for the monster. Cute exterior or no, it still had a heart as black as obsidian. “Not hurt enough. And did you miss the 'evil mind-controlling monster' part of Twilight Sparkle's description?”

Fluttershy puckered out her bottom lip in a pout. “I'm sure we could talk this out over tea if we just gave each other a chance.”

Twilight Sparkle let out a patient sigh. “Ever the optimist. Look, trust me, Fluffums is nothing but bad news. He turned the entire town into puppets.” After a moment, she added. "Figurative puppets, just to be clear."

"Maybe he had good reasons for doing that?" Fluttershy sounded like she was not even convincing herself that was true, much less the two of us.

Fluffums groggily stood up. Once he got his paws under him, he shot me a baleful glare. “How dare you hit me! You will pay for that!”

Not appreciating his lip, I smacked him to send him hitting the wall with another squeak.

“Can we please stop using violence?” Fluttershy tried to move to assist Fluffums, but Twilight blocked her passage with an outstretched wing. “Violence doesn't solve anything!”

“It seems to be solving this.” Feeling an evil grin creasing my lips, I sent Fluffums bouncing off the wall repeatedly, reproducing the beat of a song I particularly liked. Within the last year I had been introduced to a new genre of music called metal that I found I enjoyed immensely. So the notes of one of the songs I particularly liked played in my head as I tested exactly how bouncy Fluffums was.

“Twilight, please, make her stop,” Fluttershy begged her friend. "This isn't very nice."

Twilight Sparkle let out a reluctant sigh. “Okay, I think Fluffums has probably had enough, Princess Luna.”

“Oh very well.” I ceased striking Fluffums. I admit, I had thought that the monster would have transformed into some giant horrific beast by this point, unleashed some new and terrible power, or something to reverse the tide against it. Experience had taught me to be wary when facing foes who seemed so easily defeated. But in this case it simply seemed that Fluffums was simply too small and cute for melee combat. That being the case, I lifted the monster up in my telekinetic field. He groaned in pain as he listlessly floated within my grasp. “So what shall we do with this would-be tyrant? He has done the most harm within your home, Twilight Sparkle, so what is your judgment?”

“Mercy?” Fluttershy was quick to suggest. Leave it to the holder of the Element of Kindness to suggest we be merciful to a monster responsible for turning the ponies of her home town into thralls.

Twilight gave Fluffums a contemplative frown. "Well, first I'll need him to free everypony from his mind control. That's simple enough. All I need to do is use his magical frequency to counteract the effects of his spell. I should be able to do that in a few minutes. But after that, we can't just let him run around loose where he could hurt somepony."

"I suppose we could always send him to Tartarus," I said. While my first instinct was to destroy the monster outright, my sister would no doubt chastise me over using such a brutal method with a defeated foe. Then Twilight Sparkle seemed like the type to seek other means with which to deal with Fluffums. Sometimes one must pick their fights and bend to the will of the majority.

Twilight Sparkle frowned. "I'm a little sketchy about sending him to Tartarus. Not after the last breakout resulted in Tirek blowing up my home and taking all my friends hostage. Also, it strikes me as a bad idea to put a mind controller around a bunch of other dangerous monsters that he might be able to take control of if something were to go wrong in Tartarus."

I rubbed my chin. "That is an issue, yes." Sadly, Tartarus was not quite as reliable as we might have wished.

Fluttershy made her own suggestion with what was only barely above a whisper. "I could take care of him."

"Fluttershy, no," Twilight Sparkle protested. "He already turned you into his thrall once."

A potential compromise struck me. "Perhaps if we sealed away his powers and evil personality. Such a feat might be within the powers of the Elements, and if not, there is the reform spell."

Twilight Sparkle considered the suggestion. “It could be done. Though that is a bit questionable morally. But I'm not inclined to throw him back to his own dimension either. That just makes him someone else's problem."

That I agreed with. That was one of Starswirl the Bearded's favored solutions for dealing with particularly difficult monsters, and more than once that had just created trouble for others down the road. Starswirl had always been something of an ass.

"And Fluttershy could watch over him for any signs of his old self emerging," I said. It was not a perfect plan, but it did have its virtues. Fluttershy had managed to partially rehabilitate Discord—even if I would not trust the Spirit of Chaos to water my plants, much less with anything of actual importance. Certainly my sister's decision to leave Tirek's recapture to the traitorous fiend had been a grave mistake. Still, the fact that Discord was no longer rampaging across Equestria in a quest to spread chaos was a marked improvement. And at the end of the day, Fluffums seemed the far smaller threat in comparison to Discord after today's pitiful performance.

Twilight looked to her friend. "What do you think?"

She nodded, the strain in her face decreasing now that a solution that satisfied her was on the table. "I think that would work. I'm sure if Fluffums stopped being mean to ponies he would make for a nice house guest."

"Then we'll go with that plan." Twilight Sparkle took the miserable looking Fluffums from me. With the casting of another spell, a shield formed around Fluffums to keep him safely contained. "And thanks again, Princess Luna. You made this a lot easier than it otherwise would have been. I owe you big."

"You are most welcome." Another idea stuck me as I processed what my fellow princess said. "Though if I might ask a favor for a favor..."

"Of course." She smiles brightly. "It's only right that I help somepony that helped me."

"My sister has been asking me to host this year's Gala, so..." I left the question unfinished.

Twilight Sparkle's smile slowly turned into a look of horror. "Please don't tell me you're asking me what I think you are."

After a moment, I hazarded a, "Yes."

To my surprise, Twilight Sparkle fell to her belly and clung to my forelegs. "Pleasepleaseplease, not that! Anything but that! The Gala's sooo boring, and nothing goes right! All Princess Celestia does is just stand there and shake hooves. All. Night. Long. When I stood with her it felt like I was in some sort of time vortex where each minute felt like an eternity. I swear, I saw the clock actually go backwards a few times. It was the worst."

I blinked in shock at her sudden reversal behavior. She had been so brave at the prospect of battling Fluffums and potentially fighting through the entire town to get to him, but now she had been reduced to begging to give her relief. "Is it truly so horrible?"

“Yes!” Twilight Sparkle took a long breath to calm herself. “It's tolerable when I get to spend time with my friends. Barely. When I went to my first Gala we were all so excited, but then it was just awful. I’d hoped that I would get some time to spend with Princess Celestia, but she kept having to brush me off to greet more and more ponies. She barely got to say a word to me. I've never been so bored and disappointed my whole life.” She ran her hoof down her face. “Then every Gala always suffers a disaster! Though thinking back to it, it was a relief when the swarm of animals attacked and ended it.”

“Um, that was kinda my fault.” Fluttershy scrapped her hoof on the floor. “I've already apologized a lot for that, but I didn’t mean to cause the royal garden’s animals to stampede into the Gala.”

“I am sure it is quite fine, Fluttershy,” I said. “In all likelihood the Gala being crashed was my sister’s plan all along based on what I had heard about all the other Galas.”

Twilight Sparkle shivered. “Yes, I'm starting to suspect that. Especially when she invited Discord to the last one.”

I frowned, contemplating the implications of that bit of information. “Yes. There could be no purpose to that but pure chaos.”

“Don't see how it could have turned out any other way,” Twilight Sparkle grumbled. “Especially when the Smooze was Discord's plus one. You can probably guess how that went.”

Indeed I could. The Smooze’s tendency to consume everything around it was well known. “Ah, the Smooze. That brings back memories. I am just glad that there was, in fact, something that could stop it.”

Fluttershy raised a hoof halfheartedly to catch our attention. “To be fair, Discord did fix everything when he realized he wasn’t being very nice.”

If it were up to me, Discord would be serving as a lawn ornament for the palace gardens. Either that or buried very deep where nopony was likely to find him. Especially after how he had betrayed all of Equestria. Discord said he was sorry for what he did, but I held my doubts that he wouldn’t do exactly the same thing if offered another opportunity.

Twilight Sparkle rolled her eyes at her friend’s defense of Discord. “But anyways, hosting the Gala is just about the last thing I want to do.” She stood up from her begging position, having long made her point. “So if I could please do anything else for you, I’d be more than willing to do it. I’ll go out and deal with some monster, do a bunch of paperwork, clean your room, anything.”

I sighed, not feeling like pushing Twilight Sparkle into something she would despise doing. “Oh very well then. I think I know of something less burdensome you could help me with.” I gestured at the now very pitiful looking Fluffums. "But first let us deal with this one."

Fluffums gulped.





I led Twilight Sparkle into the depths of the palace. Thankfully, the stairs and rooms of the palace’s basement levels were well lit by enchanted gems. Finding the door I desired, I opened it and headed inside. 

“My thanks for your assistance with organizing the palace storage,” I said. “It seems the servants have been understating the state of disorder down here.”

I turned on the gems within to light the room. All about us were crates, clothes racks filled with all manner of garments, and various other items my sister and I did not wish to display in the palace but did not have the heart to throw away at the time. As I had found out while searching for things with which to decorate my room, the servants, rather than using any sort of organizational system, had taken to shoving the things into the first spot they would fit. Though I could not help but feel some embarrassment after seeing all the items we had collected over the centuries. Seeing the basement storage certainly made my sister and I look like hoarders.

Twilight Sparkle walked about the crates in wide-eyed wonder. “Don't worry, I'll take care of it!”

“Yes, my sister has every confidence that you will bring order to this mess.” I examined the contents of one of the crates to find a number of carefully packaged vases. “Really, you would be surprised how much stuff you can gather over a couple of centuries.”

“Oh, I can only ima...” Twilight Sparkle trailed off when one of the dresses sitting on a rack caught her eye.  “I've seen this one somewhere.”

I pulled the dress off the rack and snickered. The dress was a large, and very pink thing, and seemed to have consumed several other dresses in its quest to add their frills to its own. “Ponies thought this was the height of fashion once?”

“Fashion trends are prone to incredible amounts of change over time.” Twilight Sparkle closely examined the dress. “It is! Do you know what this is, Luna?” She spoke as though she had discovered some great artifact in some godsforsaken tomb.

I snickered all the harder. “Something I very much wish I could see my sister in.”

“No no no, you're missing the historical context!” She said with an adorable level of enthusiasm. My sister was right, she was at her most precious when excited about something that had caught her fancy. “This is the gown she wore when she announced the Grand Reforms of CR 112! This dress has incredible historical significance!” Her ears perked. “Oh! We could try to recreate the event with everypony in period outfits!”

“You mean a play?” I asked.

Twilight Sparkle shook her head. “No no no, a historical recreation! It’s where you reenact past historical events. And then we could take pictures of it for the history books! It would be like we were really there!”

“I think this might be one of those things that I do not have much experience with yet.” In truth, that sounded exactly like a play to me, despite my fellow princess’ insistence. Granted, most of the ‘historical’ plays I had seen had been only tangentially accurate to actual events. I might have to see one of these historical recreations to see what exactly they were about. Certainly seeing what Equestria had become in my absence had been to my benefit thus far.

“Maybe not, but just imagine how incredible it would be!” A glimmer lit up in her eyes. “Setting the scene exactly the way it was nearly nine centuries ago!” 

I chuckled, finding her enthusiasm quite amusing. “It seems that I am going to be leaving this project in eager hooves.”

“Oh yes.” Twilight Sparkle eagerly rubbed her hooves together and all but dived into one of the crates. “Now what do we have here?” There was the sound of paper being unwrapped, and she let out a gasp. “It's here!”

“What is?” I craned my head to see what she had pulled out of the crate.

“Look!” She held up an unadorned old circlet of plain iron before me. “I can't believe this survived! I was sure something would've happened to it...”

“You will have to excuse me if I do not see its inherent value.” I waved dismissively at it. “It seems only worth the iron it was made of.”

Twilight Sparkle’s ears wilted. “This ... this was one of Celestia's old crowns!”

“Ah.” I gave the crown another look. It was as plain as a crown could possibly be while still meeting the barest definition of such a thing. I would have been embarrassed to wear the thing in public. “It seems she fell upon hard times if that is what she wore.”

Twilight Sparkle spoke in the calm, academic tone one would expect from a college professor doing a lecture. "It had a pretty interesting history actually. Your sister started to wear it during the Miserable Depression. Considering the government was experiencing budget shortfalls and the troubles the common pony were going through, she changed out her regalia for something a lot simpler as a symbolic gesture."

As though summoned by the subject turning to her, Tia strode into the room. "It felt wrong to parade around in gold and jewels when the government was having trouble making enough money to provide essential services."

"Ah, sister, it is good to see you." I motioned towards our fellow princess. "I was just showing Princess Twilight the mess she intends to work with."

Twilight Sparkle's eyes lit up. "This place is amazing! There’s just so much history here! I barely know where to start. There is probably enough stuff down here to fill a whole museum."

Tia chuckled, as amused as I was with her former student’s enthusiasm. "I'm glad you like it, Twilight."

I grinned. "I dare say that she is more excited than a dragon that had just come upon a great treasure horde."

Realizing how she had been acting, she smiled sheepishly at us. "Oh. Sorry. I just ... got a little excited."

"We are hardly offended," I assured her. "Really, if anypony should organize this place, it should be somepony who enjoys it." Though now I had to worry if she would enjoy the task too much. I could see her burying herself in her work, studiously studying every item down here for its historical value. While it would be curious to see what she discovered down here, I did not wish for her to spend all her time on a relatively mundane task when she had other duties to attend to. Mayhaps we could hire some assistants for her, or possibly see if the museums of the city might be interested in what we possessed. It was worth talking about over dinner tonight, at any rate.

"Oh." She made an embarrassed laugh. "Er ... okay then!"

While teasing Twilight Sparkle over her enthusiasm would have offered some entertainment, what I had before me was a priceless opportunity to provoke embarrassment in my sister. "And look what we have here." I pulled out one of my sister's old dresses and gave her a wicked grin. "We found some of your old dresses. My my, what you used to wear..."

She could hardly claim it belonged to another considering all her outfits had to be customized just for her due to size. It had a shade of pink that made me wonder if it made ponies' eyes bleed. What made it particularly ridiculous was the fan-like collar large enough to make fitting through doorways difficult, and the elaborate wig that came with the dress. The wig had to be a third again her height and must have made my sister crouch to get under doors. 
 
“Fashions were different in those days,” Tia murmured unhappily as I chuckled at her discomfort. She let out a long breath before a grin came to her lips. “Though I do recall quite a few of your own unique outfits, Luna. Do you happen to remember that one outfit you wore to your birthday party. The one will all the bells? I’m sure we could find it if we looked hard enough...”

Seeing that I was starting to get too deep with my teasings, I cleared my throat. “Yes, moving on...”

My sister smiled, no doubt content that she had managed to diffuse my teasings. “Oh, yes. Before I forget, about the Gala...”

“Yes, that.” I scrambled to think what to say now that my sister had brought up the topic once again. I had all but forgotten about the Gala since our last talk. Strange how time could fly when you wished to not think about something unpleasant. For Twilight Sparkle’s part, she seemed to have found several things within one of the crates to examine instead of paying attention to our conversation. Either that, or she was doing her level best not to get drawn into the conversation on who should host the Gala. Both were equally likely in my opinion.

“I forgot to bring it up with my advisors, my apologies,” I said, the excuse sounding lame even to mine own ears. “I will make sure to speak of it during my next meeting with them.” In truth, I had brought up the Gala with my advisors. Specifically, I instructed them to find something, anything that would give me an excuse not to host the event. I had even offered a bonus to the pony that found the solution I liked the most. 

Tia frowned with disappointment. “Luna...”

I smiled sweetly, as though nothing were amiss, but I could feel the noose tightening around my neck. “Yes?”

“I would hope that you trust and respect me enough to be honest with me,” she chided.

The rebuke caused me to wince. “Very well then, dear sister, if you must insist, then I will have to tell you that I do not wish to host the Gala.”

Tia tilted her head. “Why not?” 

“For one, it seems more your type of event,” I pointed out. “It has been affiliated with you for centuries now. For two, I do not think it is an event that I would enjoy.”

“How can you know?” Tia asked. “You've never even attended.”

I let out an annoyed huff, not liking where this conversation was going. “From everything I have heard, that would be my guess. I have rarely truly enjoyed similar events like the Gala in the past.”

“You know the Gala is important,” Tia said, switching attack angles in the argument.

“Why is it so important?” I decided to drop all pretenses. It seemed that my sister had already, so now seemed to be the time to discuss the matter of the Gala openly. “From all that I have heard, you torture yourself with this event every year, and to what end? Can you not merely skip the Gala and leave it to those that wish to actually go to the farce?”

“If only it were that easy.” Tia let out a long sigh and her eyes fell to the floor. “I tried not going to the Gala—once. I was so sick of it that I announced that I wouldn’t be going, that I had more important business to attend to for that night.” She met my eyes as she continued. “And you know what happened? Almost nopony came to the Gala.”

“Oh.” My mind raced to go over the potential complications of that. “That would be a problem, would it not?”

Tia nodded sadly. “All the proceeds from the Gala go to charities. We sell the tickets for a ludicrous sum. I raise the prices every year, but they keep selling out. At least as long as I attend the Gala too.” My sister got a far off look in her eyes as she withdrew into her memories. “I was so embarrassed that year. All those charities had come to depend on that money to fund themselves, and thanks to my own selfishness they were denied it. In the end, I had to pay most of what they normally would have earned out of my own coffers—even if it nearly left me bankrupt for a few years.”

“I see, so that is the truth of it.” I had of course heard that such was the case, but it had merely been rumor until I had heard it from my sister’s own mouth. “Royalty must attend the Gala in order to fool the wealthy out of their bits.”

My sister nodded. “I would have put it another way, but yes. So ever since then I’ve gone to the Gala, year after boring year. Because my little ponies depend on me to do so. All except for the year that I managed to get Cadance to do it for me, but she’s done everything she can to make sure that was her only appearance.”

“And thus you wished for me to give you relief from this duty?” I asked.

“Please just try it?” She looked me in the eyes with the most pitiful look she could manage, the one she saved for when she truly and deeply wished for me to do something. It filled me with guilt over the mere idea of rejecting my beloved sister. “For me?”

I grit my teeth as my resistance waved under her gaze. I desperately searched for any reason I could find to avoid what would be a dredge of an evening. My eyes fell upon a pony who seemed to be trying very hard not to be noticed as she hid among several crates. “Well... Have you asked Twilight Sparkle to do it yet?”

Our fellow princess eeped and nearly jumped out of her skin when her name was mention. “Oh! I ... er ... need to wash my mane that evening. My mane needs to have that done every evening. You know how it is.” She gave us a smile that would have fit on a child whom had been caught with their hoof in a cookie jar.

I gave her an unconvinced look. That caused her ears to flatten to her head and she crept her way to me. When she spoke, it was in a soft whisper for my ears only. “Please don't do this to me.”

My teeth ground as what remained of my resistance collapsed. I had always prided myself on being willing to risk whatever I might order others to do. It would not be fair to Twilight Sparkle if I were to try and push her into hosting the Gala if I were not willing to do the same myself. Especially when she had already faced most of the horrors of that night. No, I could not ask this of her.

When my gaze turned to Tia, I was hit with an equally pitiful look.  “Luna...” she said, almost begging me to save her from a dreadful fate.

I drew myself up as I addressed my sister. “Sister, I am willing to face anything with you, be it monsters, demons, or eldritch horrors. I promised I would help you bear the duties of governance and ruling this realm for the benefit of our ponies in the face of all challenges. I would stand with you even at the end of the world before the gate of the yawning abyss as it grasped to destroy the world we love and protect.” I let out a resigned sigh. “So very well, I will host the Grand Galloping Gala for you. For you are my dear, beloved sister.”

I nearly let out a squawk of surprise when my sister drew me into a rib-crushing hug. My sister was normally accustomed to giving tender and loving hugs, so one so without restraint as the one she was giving me now was a surprise, and due to her great strength, made me worry that she was going to break me in half doing so. “Thank you. Thank you very much, sister. You have no idea how much this means to me.”

“You are ... welcome,” I wheezed. I would have made some sort of comment about me not regretting this decision, but my sister’s crushing hold made that action quite redundant.

At least somepony had been made happy today, and if that should be anypony, it should be my sister. 

> At The Gala
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------


Anything But The Gala


Chapter 4: At The Gala


It is strange how a party feels like one’s day of execution.

I knew it was silly to feel as such about the Grand Galloping Gala, but after all I had heard about the event I could not help but feel dread as the appointed date approached. In the end, I had succumbed to my sister’s desires and was now about to take on one of the least desirable duties the realm could produce for me. This was one of those days I damned how persuasive my sister was and how easy it was for her to manipulate me. Not that I was helpless against such manipulations, but I had hoped to avoid the Gala for a decade at least.

Still, I had promised my sister I would host the Gala for her, and I stood by my promises. Thus, my servants were currently attending to me so that I might be prepared for the party. While I did not look forward to the Gala, there were still appearances to be made. Especially when so many charities did depend on the revenue the Gala produced. Simply because a duty was undesirable did not mean it should not be attended to without diligence.

One of my ladies-in-waiting was in the middle of applying my eyeshadow when Celestia trotted into my quarters. I saw her smile through the mirror. “Are you ready for the big evening, Luna?”

“Yes, I am,” I grumbled.

“Excellent.” She stepped over next to me to look me over. “I'm sure you'll have a lovely time.”

I gave her a flat look. “Are you really trying to convince me of that after all I have heard of the Gala and what it took you to make me host the night?”

Tia’s smile became a hopeful one, though I could see a hint of strain on the edge of it. “Now Luna, you wouldn't want to start the evening off on the wrong hoof.” She played with the collar of my dress. “You know how important this is.”

I pointedly did not look at my sister as one of my ladies-in-waiting brought out some of my jewelry to pick from. “Sister, no princess has ever enjoyed the Gala. As you well know, this party is your invention and even you do not wish to host it, so I am going to keep my expectations realistic for this.” After examining my options, I pointed at the silver necklace with the sapphires and let my lady-in-waiting put it around my neck. My personal servants had experience enough with me meeting with somepony or another while they attended to me, and while I did enjoy their company when time allowed, they knew when it was appropriate for us to speak with one another.

My sister bit her lip and spoke gently to me. “Perhaps. But you should still play the good host.” Her tone made me wonder if this talk was her attempt to make me feel better about the Gala, or even to make herself feel better about having me host. Quite likely it was both.

“I will do my duty, I assure you.” I carefully put on a pair of custom-tailored slippers that matched my dress with the assistance of one of my servants. “I would never have it said that our hospitality was anything but sterling.”

Tia’s smile became a bit more eased. “I expected nothing less, dear sister.” She pecked me on the cheek. “Thank you.”

Finally facing her, I pecked her on the cheek also. “And what will you be doing this evening?”

“Twilight Sparkle had a wonderful suggestion, actually,” Tia said. “A nice quiet evening in with a few good books with her. Most likely by a nice warm hearth and a couple mugs of hot cocoa.”

I smiled at the thought of the most studious of my fellow princesses. "I think that is always her suggestion on what to do. In fact, I would worry something was wrong if that were not her first choice on what to do."

"She is rather fond of academics, yes," she agreed. "But it's been too long since the two of us had a nice, quiet evening together."

An evil grin crept onto my lips. "You know, I could interpret what you said in a couple of ways..." Preparations for the Gala had put me into something of a poor mood, and the idea of giving my sister some teasing as revenge appealed to me.

Tia rolled her eyes. "Don't be obscene, Luna."

"I could say the same for you as you take your former and beloved student into your quarters." I nudged her teasingly with a wing. Her flat, annoyed look at me only encouraged me onwards. I tsked and shook my head. "So strict, dear sister. Really, sometimes I wonder if I inherited all the humor in the family."

My teasings finally provoked a mischievous smile from my sister. "Oh, do you really want to try me, Luna?"

I grinned right back at her. "It might help make the night interesting."

Her eyes narrowed suspiciously. "I suppose you would like that, wouldn't you? For something to go terribly wrong and derail the Gala?"

I gave one of my slippers a disinterested examination. "Maaaybe." I suspected this conversation might be coming, especially with the Gala nearly upon us, and I was prepared for it.

Tia let out an annoyed sigh and spoke in that chiding tone she always used when she wished to correct me. "Luna, do remember that I want you to make a good impression on the rest of Canterlot's high society. This is important."

It was my turn to roll my eyes. "I assure you, I'm not going to intentionally sabotage the Gala." It took out a pair of earrings from a jewelry box one of my ladies-in-waiting offered to me. "And before you ask, I promise I am not going to run away at the last minute or cancel the event, nor am I going to cause some minor incident to make everypony leave in a huff. I also have no plans to end the night early or to storm out over some made-up slight just so I no longer have to host."

My sister's mind worked as the centuries old politician in her examined my words and how I had stated them. "I hope you didn't arrange for somepony else to cause an incident either," she said cautiously.

I shook my head and spoke with great severity. "No, I have not consorted with anypony to cause an incident. Nor any zebras, gryphons, mules, or any other sapient species within or outside our realm. And do not think I would conspire with Discord, nor with any demon, monster, or eldritch horror from between the stars to destroy the Gala so that I will not host."

Once again Tia took her time to examine my words, looking for any loopholes within them. "I trust you didn't invite any beings who might disrupt the proceedings of their own accord?"

I gave her a pleasant smile. "No, I have not invited a single pony or any other being that was not on the guest list that we both approved. And I assure you, I will not become so sick of this event that I turn back to evil, become Nightmare Moon again, and bring about an eternal night in order to spread terror amongst the populace and have them flee the palace to avoid my wrath."

The beginnings of a smile found its way to her face. "Well, that's a relief."

I nodded and let my voice take on an impish tone. "And I most definitely will not take the moon and crash it onto the surface of the planet, slaying all life so that the Gala cannot take place, nor cause any other catastrophe of a comparable scale."

"That would be slightly excessive, I think," she said, sounding convinced that she had made sure I did not have any plans to derail the Gala. "In fact, I hope you would know better than to engage any plan that significantly endangers anyone. It's just a gala."

I held up a hoof to forestall her from further chastisement. “I assure you, I will keep everything in proportion. I’m not going to pull a you tonight, Tia.”

"Excellent." Tia stood up straighter and spoke with a tone she normally reserved for official business. "And remember to keep the guests happy. It would be such a shame if the Gala went so poorly that everypony walked out early. I trust you will ensure that does not happen?"

Listening to her, I very much suspected that the one time the Gala had become a disaster was now at the heart of this discussion. That being the case, I decided it would be best to allay her worries. I placed my hoof over my heart. “I do so hereby swear by the moon and stars that I will do everything in my power to make sure everypony enjoys the Gala this year.”

“I knew I could trust you.” Tia nuzzled me, and I returned the gesture.

“Off with you then.” I waved her off. “I have some final preparations to make.” I gave her a final mischievous grin. “And do enjoy your ... reading with Princess Twilight.”

“I most certainly will.” She returned my grin. “But do get your mind out of the gutter, dear sister.”

“It is hardly in the gutter.” A couple of my servants came over to touch up my makeup. “There is nothing dirty about enjoying the company of another. Alone. In your quarters. Without an escort to assure nothing impure happens.”

Tia shot me a rather fierce scowl. “As a reading partner, former student, and very good friend. Nothing. Else.”

I was reasonably sure my sister would have called the grin I wore as evil. “Yes, of course, I completely believe you. There is nothing suspicious about your firm denials, I am sure.”

Tia’s wings actually twitched irritably. It was rare to see her so flustered. “I am denying it because nothing of the sort is happening. Because I would not. Twilight is ... a child.”

“She cuts quite the figure for a mere child,” I observed.

“Sister, I am more than a hundred times her age,” Tia said, annoyance clear in her voice. “I held her as a young filly when she had nightmares.”

I rolled my eyes. “Oh very well, enough of my teasings.”

Tia let out the sigh of an oppressed big sister. “Careful, or I might decide you need a bit more education.”

“Education?” I asked warily.

My sister smile sweetly. “You do remember those lessons I gave you once I was quite certain you were becoming a spoiled little filly, don't you?”

I cleared my throat as I remember my sister’s lessons from when I had been a little, and sometimes naughty, filly. My sister was something of a notorious prankster, and I had been her chief victim growing up. Especially when I had annoyed her in one manner or another. She had usually deserved it, but she never saw it that way, of course. I could still bitterly remember the day when she had somehow gotten some itching powder into my dress during my birthday party. “Yes, they are quite prominent.” Not wishing to have either of us dwell on that thought, I waved her off. “Now, off with you. I have work to do if I am to be ready for the Gala.”

“I understand.” She drew me into a big hug. “Best of luck.”

I was going to need it.





Everything started out as planned for the Grand Galloping Gala. As tradition dictated, ponies in the finest dress sung, the carefully choreographed blooms of fireworks exploded in the sky, and the Wonderbolts streaked above the partygoers in a brief show of flying excellence. It was quite the elaborate ceremony that outdid anything I could remember, at least in terms of pure grandeur. Some of the grand carnivals of days long past far surpassed the Gala in size and the number of ponies involved, but the Gala was its own affair with the type of ceremonies it held. It was almost like watching a fairy tale as it unfolded. That was probably a result of my sister's centuries of refinement.

It wasn't quite so decadent as to be crass to my sensibilities, but it was pushing the borders. But such trivialities were not my focus this night. No, I had other things on my agenda.

After the opening ceremonies, ponies and other sapient beings started filing into the palace, their names and titles announced as they entered. Then exactly as Gala tradition demanded, ponies gathered before the stairs just inside the gates to the palace. They were only stopped short by the stone-faced ponies of the Lunar Guard. Upon the top of those stairs stood myself, Princess Luna, ready to receive her guests for the very first Grand Galloping Gala she was to host.

Part of me felt a certain satisfaction that all the tickets to this year's Gala had once again sold out. That despite the fact that Tia had raised the prices for admission even more than usual. If I was going to be honest with myself, I had feared that I would be rejected by my subjects and that this Gala would turn out no better than the one when my sister had not attended at all. That would have been yet another savage wound to my dignity. But such was not the case as I looked down at the hopeful faces of the ponies below me; I could tell that they did wish to greet their princess of the night as they had my sister for all those centuries.

It made me feel a twinge of regret for what I was about to do next.

I took a single step down the stairs.

Almost as one, everyone turned their head my direction. A hundred individual conversations stopped and a silence that was almost a presence in of itself descended over the crowd.

“Excuse me, everypony. If I could have everyone’s attention.” I took a couple more steps down the stairs. I could not help but imagine each step sounded like the very foundations of Equestria’s society crumbling. “I have an announcement.”

Everypony continued to stare at me in shocked amazement as I did something no princess had ever done in memory during the Gala: I was coming down the stairs towards them. The sound of shattering glass echoed through the hall as a few wine glasses were dropped, forgotten by the ponies that had been holding them. A couple ponies in the audience actually fainted and had to be caught by those around them. The journalist Speedy Press even pushed his way back through the crowd to get out of the palace. No doubt to write yet another scathing column about how I was undermining Equestrian society.

Still, I held nearly everypony’s rapt attention as I defied centuries-old traditions. “I wish to tell everypony that we will be doing things a bit differently this Gala. It is with some reluctance that I inform you that I will not be doing the traditional greeting of my guests to my home.” That elicited a shocked gasp from the entire audience, and even more ponies fainted. That made me wonder just how much my sister had come to coddle our subjects in my absence when such a relatively minor thing upset them so. “As I suspect many of you probably already know, my sister has never exactly enjoyed the Grand Galloping Gala, but still, she has endured it for centuries for the sake of the charities to which your generous donations contribute.” I hoped that buttering up my audience by reminding them that I was appreciative of their donations would make what followed more palatable for them.

I smiled as I slowly approached the gathered ponies. “So, I hope you will humor your princess and join me in an experiment so that my poor beleaguered sister might enjoy the Gala as much as the rest of you. For at least tonight, instead of standing at the top of those stairs and greeting all of you one or two at a time, I plan to mingle among you. I apologize ahead of time if this means I will not get to speak with all my wonderful guests, but I assure you I will try and find time to spend with as many people as possible. I know getting to know my subjects and guests is one of the true delights I get to experience at events such as these.”

The sound of my hooves rang out as I reached the ground floor. “As always, you are free to enjoy the food, drinks, and music provided for your entertainment, and perhaps most importantly: one another’s company. So in conclusion, I welcome everypony to the Grand Galloping Gala! Your princess bids you to drink, eat, and be merry on this happy night!”

Many of the ponies gathered around me looked to one another with confused looks, and whispered conversations started all about the entrance hall. Others were looking to me with curiosity, but seemed hesitant to approach me, this being new and unfamiliar ground where the Gala was concerned.

Finally, a couple of my guests approached me. I readily recognized Fancy Pants and Fleur de Lis. Considering Fancy Pants was one of the most prominent figures in Canterlot society, I had come to know him and his significant other by sight. Fancy Pants smiled warmly. “I suppose there isn’t any harm in trying something a little bit different than the norm,” he said, projecting his voice so that the ponies around us could easily hear him.

“Oh yes,” Fleur de Lis quickly agreed, hanging onto Fancy Pants’ leg. “In truth, I’ve been hoping you would do something outside of what we had come to expect from the Gala, and this seems like a good start to that.”

I smiled appreciatively at them. This was exactly the icebreaker I desired. “I have found that a little bit of variety in life goes a long way.”

“Quite so,” Fancy Pants said. “Now if I may be so bold, how have you been, Your Highness?”

I opened my mouth to answer but was cut off when a high-pitched scream pierced the calm rapport we were starting to build. I snapped my head to see where the screaming had come from and I saw the doors to the kitchen slam open. The chefs fled from the kitchen at a full run. Several of them were covered by spaghetti sauce and noodles.

“I don’t know what went wrong!” one of the chefs screamed as he made all haste to the nearest exit.

Before I could ask what in the world the matter was, I saw what the problem was: a rolling tide of noodles and red sauce came spilling out onto the dance floor of the palace and was soon upon several of my guests. Almost to my surprise, for centuries of life had jaded me slightly to occurrences such as this, the wave of noodles formed into something vaguely equine shape and roared. This naturally precipitated more screams and panicked running as everypony sought to flee the monster, though I could not help but note that several of the screams seemed more concerned about their dresses being stained than due to any serious distress.

“Oh my,” Fancy Pants said, correcting the position of his monocle. “Somepony should really do something about that.”

Fleur de Lis tilted her head curiously at the scene of carnage. “Huh, it’s a bit early for something like that to be happening. Normally some disaster doesn’t happen until everypony has had time to get settled in, at the very least.”

I had a growing suspicion that this was my sister’s work. It did have all of her hoof prints on it considering every Gala suffered some sort of disaster. While granted, I had not expected her to pull something quite this provocative, I may have upset her by dispensing with some of her carefully planned rituals.

Still, as the princess hosting the Gala, it was my duty to protect my guests, whether or not my sister was the fiend behind this pasta-based attack.

I stepped forward as ponies fled behind me. I straightened myself and called out with all the command and authority I could bring to bear. “Stand back, everypony! I will save you from this monster!”

My challenge must have been heard by the spaghetti monster, for it turned to face me. Two big meatball eyes narrowed and it slowly levitated off the ground in defiance of all laws of nature and gods. It let out a challenging roar and shot at me.

A savage grin spread across my mouth and I met its charge. Tonight was going to be much more entertaining than I originally expected.





“And then I rent its noodly appendages asunder!” I declared triumphantly to my sister.

“Yes, yes, I’m proud of you, Luna,” Tia said with bored disinterest.

My sister’s lack of enthusiasm to the finishing of my tale caused me to put up my lower lip. “Come now, it was a glorious battle. Everypony saw it and cheered for me when I smote mine enemy.”

Tia did not even bother to look up from her golf ball and she lined up her shot. “I’m sure it was very exciting to watch.”

I rose my chin and looked away from her. “You do not even care.”

“Of course I care.” She stopped measuring her shot to look up. “Sorry, just that I’ve already heard the story from half the servants and guards in the palace. It’s been the talk of the town since the Gala.”

I suspected, and her lackluster reaction in my story only supported my theory that she had watched my battle with the spaghetti monster from afar using some sort of magic. Such was well within her power, and no doubt she would have been curious to see how my hosting of the Gala was going. Well, if that was how she was going to be, then there was not much to be done about it.

I leaned against my golf bag. “Still, I have to admit, that monster attack did seem to do wonders to loosen everypony up. I had a wonderful night talking with everypony.”

Tia went back to lining up her shot, carefully looking down to the green as she did so. “I still cannot believe you did that.”

I grinned knowingly. “Did what?”

“Disrupted the Gala the way you did.” My sister swung her club, and she let out a disappointed hiss as her ball landed short of the green. “You cast out centuries of tradition, and without even asking me. Everything is set up for a specific reason, you know.”

"Oh come now, it is not nearly as bad as you make it sound." I snorted as I placed my ball down to take my own turn at swinging. Really, she was chastising me for disrupting the Gala when she was the one that had unleashed a monster upon our guests. True, a relatively harmless monster as far as such things go, but still a monster. "It was one silly tradition that was making you miserable, sister. Really, who is the one clinging far too much to the past now?"

"Ponies like tradition," Tia said. "It gives them stability and security. You should know that."

"And sometimes they need one or two things to change now and again to keep life exciting. Stagnation can be as much a curse as chaos." With a swing of my club, I sent my ball flying. I grinned with satisfaction when it landed on the green. "And now this can be the new tradition, and I think you will enjoy it a great deal more than shaking hooves all night rather than actually getting to know some of your guests. And in the end, I think they will come to enjoy it more too."

Tia led the way to her ball. "Perhaps so. But in the short term, it could cause me quite a few headaches. I was all but mobbed by ponies complaining about what you had done the morning after the Gala." With a quick swing, my sister got her ball to the green, though I noted with satisfaction that mine own ball was still closer to the hole.

"I think you will survive. You have dealt with worse." I found it interesting that ponies were more riled up by a change of a tradition than they were by a sentient wave of spaghetti attacking them. Sometimes I wondered about the subjects I ruled.

"Oh, I don't doubt I'll survive," she said as we trotted to the green. "But it's still an extra headache I didn't need."

"Do not be so melodramatic." I lined up my putter, and with a gentle swing, put my ball into the hole.

My sister was quick in repeating my action with her own ball. "You've gotten better, sister," she said with more than a little bit of consternation. "Last time you were having trouble holding the club right."

I grinned. "It helps when you get some advice from a few professional golfers from within their dreams. They were quite willing to assist me after I helped them deal with some nightmares."

Tia frowned. "And I suspect that could technically be regarded as cheating."

My smile became a mischievous one. "Are you not always telling me to make friends, dear sister?" I could not help but relish in my sister's consternation with me closing the gap between us in her own game, and even surpassing her. I had slowly been developing a lead over the last few holes and it seemed unlikely my sister would be able to close the gap.

"I suppose I did, but this is hardly what I had in mind," Tia said in a tone that was just short of a whine. It would not be dignified for a princess to whine.

"You are being sour because I am beating you at your own game." I hit my ball on the next course and once again landed on the green.

Tia sniffed jauntily as she prepared her ball. "I am not that petty."

I prodded her teasingly with a club. "Well you do not seem to have a very sunny disposition today." It seemed that the one-two blow of having to deal with the more irritating among the elite and then being on the losing end of a game of golf had been too much for my sister's spirits.

"I have my reasons with all the trouble you started." She pulled one of her clubs out with more force than was technically necessary.

“It is not my fault the nobles mainly go to you whenever they have a problem. I make myself available, but they seem to love you more.” I casually examined one of my golf clubs. “All the more the pity, no?”

“It would be nice if you could clean up your own messes,” she grumbled.

I gave her a cocky grin. “As far as I am concerned, I cleaned up one of yours. None of this would have happened if you had not been so desperate to dump the Gala onto my back.”

My sister sniffed as though she had smelled something particularly foul. “You would interpret it that way.”

“Come now, Tia. Smile for me.” I put my face into hers and smiled as widely as I could. “Let me see that big, beautiful smile of yours. No need to be a sour knight.”

“I am hardly in a smiling mood. Also, you’re in the way of my shot.” Tia gently, but firmly, pushed me out of the way with a wing. After taking a moment to line up her shot, she struck her ball and it landed on the green. To my chagrin, it came to rest closer to the hole than mine own ball. The reversal brought a smile to my sister’s lips. “Though I think my mood has just improved.” 

I started the trot to the green. “You really have grown too used to always winning when I am not around. It has spoiled you.”

My sister chuckled as she followed me. “Is that so?”

“Considering how much more you enjoy this when you're actually winning,” I said.

“Everypony enjoys winning more than losing,” she said.

I putted my ball into the hole and nodded. “I know I do.” Certainly I was feeling much better about this match than I had our first encounter on the golf course. I had been utterly crushed by my sister, and my spirits had been badly hampered by the experience. Though while I was much better at the game, I still found the normal attire for the golf course to be utterly horrendous to look upon. As far as I was concerned, there was no way to make plaid look good.

“Nicely done.” Tia gently put her own ball into the hole, an easy enough feat with her ball being so close to the hole. “So I suppose we'll just have to hope something good comes of all this.”

“You will not be so terribly bored hosting the Gala anymore, for one,” I pointed out. “At least if you have any sense and do things as I did.”

“I suppose we can see how your changes play out,” she allowed after a long moment of thought. “I suppose I should thank you for taking care of the Gala, even if it didn't work out exactly as I envisioned.”

I skillfully tossed my club back into my bag. “This is what happens when you try and shuffle off your Gala onto me. Really, you should have expected me to go my own way on that.”

My sister let out an exasperated sigh as she shook her head. “I did try to bail you out.”

“Something I appreciate, I assure you.” It was not much of a surprise to find out that my sister had been responsible for the spaghetti monster. Only that she had admitted it quite so easily. Still, I suppose I should be thankful that my sister had held me in her thoughts. It was another sign that she really did care about me. “Though really, it should tell you how much you despise the Gala when you feel you need to sabotage it every year.”

Tia’s head tilted ever so slightly as she took a moment to respond. “Strangely enough, that's actually another part of the tradition now. In truth, ponies take whatever disaster I inflict on the Gala as their excuse to start to let their hair down for the evening, or excuse themselves if they feel like it. I think everypony would actually be disappointed if I didn’t take the effort to spice things up that way.”

I waved dismissively. “Continue with that if you prefer. Certainly everypony expects it now, and it does create for a far more interesting way to end the Gala than any other method I can think of. I know it let me enjoy the previous night.”

“Still, we can combine your ideas and my traditions.” A mischievous smile worked its way onto my sister’s lips and I felt my heart sink at the sight on pure instinct. “I suppose we will find out next year.”

I quirked an eyebrow, not liking the sound of that. “‘We’?”

“If I am going to combine our ideas...” she trailed off, letting me finish the logical conclusion of that sentence.

“How about I just pass on hosting another Gala?” I asked hesitantly. “One was quite enough for me.”

“Oh no no.” My sister wrapped a wing around my back and led me towards the golf course lodge. “I have to have you there to help with the transition. It would be so much easier to explain why the Gala is changing when I’ll have you there. Changes in leadership are always an ideal period of time to enact changes in tradition. And really, you have been talking about how badly we needed to change the Gala.”

“I suppose that is true...” I let out a frustrated sigh. It looked like I was falling into yet another one of my sister’s schemes. She could be so hard to argue against with how persuasive she could be. “You are not going to let this one go, are you?”

“Well since you had so many ideas for how to improve the Gala it seemed best to have you there to make sure you can bring about your vision.” My sister’s ears perked. “Oh, and we might even be able to double the price of the tickets. When there will be two princesses at the Gala and the promise of a more personal touch than the old tradition necessitated...”

“I think the Gala would be very different if you gave me the free reign you are suggesting,” I warned her, trying to find some gap to get out of hosting more Galas.

Tia squeezed me with her wing. “Maybe that's not a bad thing.”

I groaned and applied my hoof to my face. “We were always meant to rule together.”

“Exactly.” My sister nuzzled me. “And we can start by working together to improve the Gala. Every year. Forever.”

The way she said that created a spark of suspicion within me. “Wait a moment, you planned all of this, did you not? This is what you wanted all along, for the two of us to host the Gala together and give yourself the opportunity to change the traditions of the Gala you did not like. Is this so?”

Her only reply was to give me that annoying mysterious smile she always did whenever she wished to hide her true intentions.

I gave her a fierce scowl. “It is at times like this that I hate you with the very essence of my being.”

Tia nuzzled me lovingly. “I love you too, sister.”

I sighed, resigning myself to my fate. “I love you too, Tia, I love you too.”