A failing mental state and a cumbersome past. The weight is excruciating, but she will carry it to the furtive earth beyond her own. That's assuming she doesn't sink. When you can't trust what you see. Can you believe in anything?
Aboard a Celestial and Beyond Exploration vessel, two march towards the first sign of life beyond their earth. Beyond Equestria, but problems arise. One particular mare is struggling to deal with reality. The stallion with guilt. Suggestions and criticism would be great.
She sat looking out of the lit deck. All was shone upon and it shone a mustard shade of yellow. She would have closed her eyes minutes ago, but she felt intoxicated by the vapors that danced for her. The window showed a panorama of wild, dusty, gaseous forms. Every once in awhile a hellish burst of lightning fell out of the vaporic clouds, and almost without fail she flinched. It whipped and passed in and out of it’s self. The ship moved, and the spectacle ran away from the static frame. She lost the lively sensation, and sulked a moment. She attempted to even out her body on the uneven pleather sofa. Her eyes closed. Anywhere, but here.
She lowered herself by a pond looking into the countless ripples that morphed the form of a passing fish. She gasped in surprise and quietly fell back onto her haunches. The filly sighed. She took a moment check the treeline to see if her sister had seen her. She always had to be tough around her. Her sister was the strongest person she knew. She smiled to herself.
She heard the crunch of a branch in front of her. It stood in the brush far across the pond. Silent, it watched. A faint buzz radiated off somewhere on the summer afternoon. The filly’s eye twitched, still fixated on the thing. She gulped in the tense silence. It spoke words carried by the water “For a time we have been here,” it moved parting the water “We’ve fell once already,” it froze all. The buzz ceased the water no longer moved “I’m not sure we’ll survive the next.” The water dropped and it had left. The filly resumed breathing with a bit of apprehension and got back to her hooves. She looked around once more. The water flowed. The buzz buzzed. All was normal, but nothing really is. She looked to an old trodden path. It looked lonely. She walked over to it and on it. Enjoying the soil beneath her hooves,and she left the picturesque place alone. She could barely keep herself together thinking of being back with her sister later that night.
That filly continued her life, but our mare still has her’s to live. No longer small, a grown mare. A quiet one.
She woke up with her drool trailing off the side of the couch. She laid in the darkness. Even the stars had left her. A feeling of emptiness sunk in. Was this a choice or not? She wondered if late night thinking would only make her feel worse.
She then focused in on the the empty expanse in front of her. The more she knew about space the more she wanted to know, but the night was late. She spoke upwards “ VI, play album ‘telephonia’.” A gentle, spacious blend of jazz and funk began to play out of the overhead speakers. This music inspired her to travel. Well, this and her sister’s insistence. Sleep crept in the corners of her eyes. Sleep comforted her and kept her down. Another feeling she could not hang on to. And darkness. Whispers in every corner. Mocking. They don’t seem malicious. Are they?
She awoke to a horrific cry. She spiked up hurriedly looking in every direction, her breath ragged. The window was reinhabited by the stars. The walls were normal as ever, but behind the couch a grate had been lifted and it’s top laid flat down. “Hello?” she called to the empty room checking the lowest part of the back of the couch. A hiss met her ears, and they stood in fear. Her gaze raced to the cold, metallic portal. Absence. No horrible creature lurked in the grate, or atleast she could not see it. Still the hiss was strange.
She asked the ever-present onboard computer “Can you lock the door?”
“Yes, Cub, would you like me to?” the synthesised voice asked politely.
She sighed “Yes, very much.” a mild, sliding sound emitted from the metal center of the portal. She laid her head down on the couch, embracing the sleepy feelings that the lucky ones get at night.
She trotted through the monotony of white floors, white ceilings, and white walls. An endless maze. She made note of the few green lights that occasionally adorned a wall. Luckily, one of these things did not have to do very often. She finished the last column on her sheet and made her way to one of the maintenance hatches.
She manipulated the whitish metal hatch open. To contrast this darkness laid above. Her paced slowed when stuck her got her head up to get a confused look around. Only a single light did a lousy job of lighting the room. She withdrew a comm device from a pocket of her jumpsuit.
“Hey, Star?” she said softly into the glowing, floating device.
The comm squawked in star’s firm voice “Cub?”
“Ah went through the maze again,” She examined a little further into the darkness. A pair of painted letters read Y-P “and ah ended up over in Y-P and it’s real dark.”
“That whole Y section went off a few days ago, I swear I told you about it.” the voice said curious.
“Funny, I don’t remember.” She said searching her memory coming up blank.
“It’ll be easier going through there rather than finding our exit.” Star said informing
“Ok.” she said willing her way upwards and out of the room in darkness.
“Wait, you know your way through there?” questioned the comm.
“I used to paint around here.” she said glancing to a forgotten space, which she formerly called home. Without the hum of the engine her mind focused easily, and she liked that.
“How about you paint me something soon?”
“You know why.” she declared flatly. Silence reigned.
“Well, can’t we work past that?”
“No.”
“Look, I’m sorry. I made a mistake and I feel horrible.”
“That should have been said to my face, I made a promise to someone and I’m going to keep it!” she declared with bitter anger seething. She continued her trot clanging quietly every few steps. No response. Like she thought. Her feelings about him bitter as they may be, would never allow her to hate him.
A vale of dark blue dusk set upon all. Crick’s of the crickets resounded. Farther off the sound of fillies playing by their respective houses could be heard sporadically. The dust had settled just minutes ago. Frogs sat by a great stream croaking almost in unison. The smell of the river and it’s partners was pleasant, earthy. A few meters off of the amphibians, Cub crawled through a thicket, the soft mushy ground pressing down beneath her. She kept silent absorbing this peace of nature, but an ulterior motive was on the filly's face. A devious smile. It was a cute enough smile to make a bitter man warm. She inched even slower towards the bull frog. She made it to the edge of the thicket and in one awkward motion snatched up the large frog. She having picked up her worty friend with her half of her hooves and with her momentum pushing her farther, the filly dunked into the stream.
The water swallowed her up. She responded with a frantic thrash of hooves and muddy water disturbing quieted the surrounding wildlife. Elevating the panic. She attempted to cry out in the moments she had on the surface of the water, before losing that momentum and falling below again. The water flowed into her throat she choked on the vile bitterness and her soul began to distress. Her mind raced with the thoughts of death. Why now? I had so much more time in this place. Would she be missed? Why? Her consciousness began to dwindle. Her hooves moved less and less. She then in a desperate last attempt paddled piercing the surface of the stream.
She took a gasp of air, then uttered the only cry she could “HELP!” and in no time she was swallowed back into the water. The air she had was gone. Further she sank than ever before. Her sister was not there to save her. An orange light moved above the water. That last hope was ruined by her sinking further. This is her impact upon the world. To drown. Barely knowing the greens from the blues. She no longer could tell up from down. Every which way; the same watery shadow. Her eyes closed, and last traces of oxygen floated upwards.
Black Star looked about his work-space. Knick knacks. Little things with a bit of character, but with no voices to project it, or were they just plastic, just like everything else? He let his posture droop. He sighed. He would change, he knew it, but had he ever been the stallion he thought he was? Doubts started to form. Was he good or bad? Was there good or bad? He gawked at his own goth poetry. He felt silly. He recollected the mistake once again. His posture drooped further. His eyes watered, he buried his head into his hooves. How the fuck could he do it. Where was his mind. Caught up in a moment, he surmised. He looked to the rest of his space. A large white paneled room which they shared when eating, but technically it was meant to be his work-space and sleeping chamber exclusively. He had almost forgot that. She sure did. It was these little, quirky discrepancies that help make their relationship intimate in everyday workings.
He loved her so much. Without her he thought he could no longer enjoy things. Her funny little accent, the things they experienced together. They were some of the finest moments of his life. He wanted more of them, but he submitted. There may be no more. His body quivered and tears flowed freely. He couldn’t help but begin to sob. He attempted to stifle it, reducing it to a few labored breathes. He composed himself and looked up to his reflection in his terminal's screen. Black fur, brown now puffy eyes. He levitated a picture of his mother that was cropped between the screen. He looked to his mother’s graceful facial expression. Another pair tears fell from his eyes.
He suddenly let it drop to the floor and switched on the terminal with his magic. A beep came from the low quality built-in speakers of the machine. A notification displayed on the computer’s taskbar. Not acknowledging it, he opened an application. One of his back hooves tapped uncontrollably on the white metal floor. The application loaded solitaire. He noticed a few obvious corresponding numbers, he placed them. His hoof slowed, but it still tapped steadily.
A sliding of a door stirred him from his catharsis. He looked at Cub’s face, his eye twitching.
“You alright?” she said looking him up and down, observing his puffy eyes.
“Hey, uh, I just lost my cool.” He rubbed his eyes. His bad attempt at hiding his tears just aggravated his eyes.
“Yeah, anything happen since I left this morning.“ Said Cub as she opened a cooler compartment on the wall, taking out a piece of pizza.
“Well, we got a notification of some sort, I haven't gotten around to checking it out.” He said clenching his eye shut as it watered.
Cub stated “Looks like you’re outta commission,” Star interrupted “About.” Cub continued “so how 'bout you let me take a look?”
Star answered “Ok.” using his hooves to push him and his chair, back away from the desk.
“Alrighty.” she placed her cold pizza down on an old, yellow plastic plate on a table. Cub manipulated the cursor and hovered it over the notification. A small white bar read; 1 New video message from: CBE Intel Communications. “Looks like we got something from HQ,” she clicked on it and Black Star’s communications inbox opened. She inspected the date on the newly arrived message “It was sent four days ago.” she said giving all attention to the machine.
“Yeah, the systems have been a bit funky lately,” He removed his hoof from his eye, blinking away the drops of water “slow and glitchy.”
She opened the video message. Star pushed his chair forward to get in view of the screen. Young Cub leaned on the side of his chair.
The terminal came to life and an older stallion with greying fur sat with a radiant yellow background behind him. He spoke “Hello, how are the travels?” the stallion gave space for a response. None came “Well, that’s great,” he said putting on a smile, then letting it falter as he continued “I am sending this message to warn you of some possible problems with power. The last time you sent ship feedback reports, one of our engineers detected an anomaly. In particular your central core’s config has been recoded very strangely. The process for correctly dividing fuel and electricity has been altered. So we reviewed the config from previous reports and it seems that it has been slowly morphing, but we cannot grasp for what purpose. We advise you replace the config with the fixed one we have attached to this message, all the folks here at CBE wish you good luck.” the stallion nodded as the screen was replaced with star’s inbox once again.
Cub looked to the sitting Star “This power thing, is it gonna have tah get done right now?”
He wheeled himself all the way to the console “Well, I’ll have to see a few things,” he took hold of the computer's mouse.
“Could this have something to do with Y being down?” she said sauntering towards the door.
“Probably, I’m checking it.”
She glanced to him to search for further answers, but he was already absorbed in a search. She wandered over to a small table, and looked wistfully through a viewport. The stars meandered slowly past her. A white light sparked somewhere between a few of the similarly colored specks. She leaned in to get a look through the glass portal.
She could just barely make out it’s form before being spooked “Got it!” he said with great exclamation. He turned to her to see the daggers she was staring “Sorry, Cub It’s Y,” he turned the monitor to her. It displayed a graphic of the ship. The craft was circular in shape, hollowed and sectioned in its middle. One of its sections parts was highlighted and was scrolling through it’s various statistics. The power’s stats were singled out and expanded to be easily seen. 2320/8576 was the ratio of the current gallons fuel supplied per hour to the Y section. It seemed like it was under feeding the section, but she was not the professional when it came to numbers.
“Well, it looks like it’s not giving the section enough juice.” she said looking towards him.
“Yes, and all that’s left in the section is life support.” he said with punctuation.
“Well?” she said motioning for more with her hoof.
“Oh, well,” he said with a bit of confusion and hesitance “If you had hung around Y for too long you could have suffocated,” he brought up a tad more detailed statistic “you see, the place has only two hours before all power is lost and that’s unfortunately, the only place where the file can be edited.”
“So am ah goin’ over there?” she said narrowing a single eye.
“Yes, I see no way around it,” he said putting a hoof to his chin “there’s a small terminal just around the corner from the exit you came out from the earlier. You’ll have to use the communicator to get me a look at it before we fix it.” he clicked a button and the computer’s display went dark. “You ready?”
She levitated her pizza and took a large bite out of it’s side and placed it back down and simply said “Yep.”
“Alright, you should hop to.” he said turning his terminal to it’s normal position.
“mmmhhmmmhhh” she said as she trotted out of the room, still chewing what she had saved of the pizza in her mouth.
She walked through the ever tangled corridors in the direction of Y. Each section separated by blast doors made her halt for a few moments opening them with nearby display panels. She made it to Y in a shory forty minutes and walked around the familiar space. She felt a tiny bit of nostalgia for the section. Her gaze lingered on a bit of cracked paint on a doorway where she had once accidently dropped a brush. She walked around a corner and was blinded by a golden white light. “Shit.” she said to the empty space. She shielded her eyes and tried to look at what had shone so bright. A mirror stood by itself. She looked for anypony that could have set it up. The hallways whistled slightly, or at least she swore it sounded like whistling.
She walked close to the mirror. She examined her tired reflection. Her eyes carried a great weight. She pulled on them with her hooves. Her fur was a creamy blonde. Her mane was similarly colored, and it had been a sharp mohawk, but she had let it droop. A shape separate from her, moved in the mirror. Her eyes widened. She had began to sweat. Her eyes traced the object. The air surrounding her grew cold. She shivered. The sudden shift in heat caused the mirror to fog. A tension grew in the air. She could not explain it. Her mind confused and strained.
A voice spoke and the fog faded “Oh, it’s been so long, kid.” a familiar voice. Her sister’s voice. Her form shaped in the mirror.
Forevermore, with the water rushing around confusing her, the eyes a blurred by the water. made it even harder to distinguish. This shifting of the water startled her. Her body perceived a lifting just before it faded. Something took ahold and lifted her. She fell into a blurry unconsciousness.
hey kid….kid...KID!
Her throat hurt and she squinted in pain beginning to gag. The muddy water then came swelling out of her mouth. She leaned to let it all out. The water took a few moments of her life before grime was gone, and she laid exhausted back on the fresh earth beneath her. Crickets chirped right next to her ear. She breathed ragged for a few moments.
“Whaddya doin’ wit’ tis litta one, Junior.” an old mare spoke in her forgotten accent.
Cub shifted her head. A stallion sitting next to her had turned his dripping wet head to the old mare “ Don’t worry none,” he looked to the river and pointed “she was just thrashin’ all about in the water.” the old mare nodded and slowly walked out of Cub’s point of view. Lanterns loomed on the path that the mare had walked. Cub could just hear a bassy tenor off in the distance. The stallion noticed her consciousness. “Oh, uh, hey there,” he waited for any sort of response. Cubs throat attempted to utter forth words, but a pain had replaced them. The pain made her scrunch her eyes. “It’s alright, I saw you comin’ down the stream here and being a JUST stallion thought a little lady like you could use a hand.” he said picking up an apple he had laid at his feet. She was a bit too frazzled to even become embarrassed. He noticed her obvious struggle to even react. He did not expect a deep red blush, but atleast something. “Let’s get ya up.” she failed an attempt to stand on all four of her hooves, but he supported her before she could return to the ground. She leaned on his side. He guided her to an wooden plank walkway. A few high pitched twangs could just be heard above the croaking of the bullfrogs.
“Excuse me for whiskin’ ya away like this.” he let the filly rest on his as they walked. “You ever hear blues music?” he looked down to the timid filly. She gave him a few shakes of her head. “It’s real fun with everybody all around, you’ll see.” he said in a warm tone.
The path had been placed over many small land features; mud, muddy water, muddled grass. They crossed a stepping stone path and came through a gathering of branches that hid the true gathering. A few cabins stood hidden through the veil of low hanging branches. Two cabins sat looming over the crowded stage. The stage itself had a band upon it. There was a standing bass player with a rather large straw hat, and to his left an orange coated mare sat upon the edge of the wooden stage. She had a long case comfortably perched next to her. A small, white stallion manned a great piano in the middle and to the left of the stage. Two quaint benches were seating a group of older almost grown ponies. The benches were in audience of the stage and it’s inactive performers.
The cabin to Cub’s left had it’s lights on and a few young stallions moved to and fro between doors. A pair met and laughed at something one of them must’ve said. “This is our home.” the stallion who strode with Cub said “My name’s Clasp,” he paused looking at her “I’d ask you fer yours, but…” she attempted to speak, but only a scratchy whistling came forth. “exactly, well, anyway how ‘bout you sit down over there.” he pointed to one of the benches. “I gotta towel off.” She nodded and slowly trotted over to a bench. A few teenagers watched her as she walked.
Cub sat nervously at first, but soon settled among them. A few older ponies walked and talked to the those poor souls that were caught in that awkward middle point before adulthood. Cub was not ready for what was in store in her teenage years, like most. One adult strode next to the bench and looked at the out of place filly. Cub looked, imitating his questioning gaze. The little pony had strains of grime in her creamy white mane and tail, but otherwise looked like a regular unicorn. The young adult himself had a brilliant light blue coat and lighter blue tangles of mane. “Eh,” he murmured mindlessly sitting down next to the youth. “I think this is a good night for hanging around, especially ...” He looked around, Cub imitated his looks. He looked between the rows of talking ponies. He relaxed in his seat. “since seems like nopony is outta control and were all having a good time.” he closed his eyes in meditation. He did this for a time and opened a single eye at Cub “You don’t talk much, little filly.” Cub redemonstrated the grating whistle. “Ah,” he paused closing his eye “that’s strange.”
The audience quieted as the old mare from before walked on stage slowly, but with determination. “Heya young folks, I been wit’ this camp since I was ‘bout your ages, and I swear every year this place remains the same, no matter the doo hickeys you guys get,” she looked encouragingly at the many “but, every year I get to see a new generation movin’ on up, and it warm this little, old heart.” she smiled “I hope to see some a ya leadin’ this group in few years well, if mah bones permit me still bein’ up an’ about.” a good amount chuckled “Now, let's get some music on this here stage.” She said stepping off stage. A respectful amount of applause emitted from the crowd.
Clasp and the others took a place at their instruments. Clasp tuned his bango and took up seat on a short stool. He began to pick a ghostly little number. The standing bass joined in an irregular rhythm. A guitar backed up the banjo in the melody. A few got and began to dance at first slightly awkwardly, but then a few more joined and the rest relaxed. Clasp began to sing in a bassy tone. Cub looked around to the rising ponies
“You don’t have to dance if you don’t wanna.” said the sitting blue stallion to Cub.
She looked at the older pony, and in show of defiance hopped off the bench beginning to shuffle around.
“That’s not dancing.” he said flatly.
She gave him a look of shattered glass.
“Hey missy,” he point his hoof at her, she shied back in his accusing stare. He laughed and she smiled “ Hey, uh, I think there’s another one about your size ‘round here…” he looked around the lively surroundings.
She spotted the young colt first and ran over to him. The colt sat contented on the bench before the young filly rushed to him. He bobbed backwards in surprise, but caught himself before falling off the bench. He then returned his attention to the filly. She was pointing at him with a smile on her face. He narrowed his eyes in wonder at the little filly. She pointed again at him and then the ground. He got off the bench and stood continuing his questioning gaze. She began to buck and rear up rhythmically. He attempted to do the same, but he ended up just falling hard onto his rear.
She helped him to his hooves and then he gave one more attempt at the rompus dance. He succeeded. They danced clumsily between the older ponies, the music urging them to give more energy. Others freed themselves. Dancing to swinging rhythms. The lanterns rocked along as well. From inside the cabins a few rather shy ponies sat by their lonesome. They envied the others a bit, but the sense of community kept spirits high. The program helped teenagers many a times. Cub just stumbled upon it’s magic for this single night. The sense of being together.
Apart from the celebrations the veil parted as the wind blew. Night had set in. One of the small streams below the wooden plank pathways nettled at a rock. The rock being drenched by the swift current. It inched itself along the side of a log that had long ago caught it. On the top of the rock a bit of soggy moss was carried away with every minuscule wave of water. The green, leafy grains floated on the uneven surface of the water further down. The log was partly water rot and would have its shape easily offended. A mild cracking could be heard and the log split letting forth the rock. The rock dipped and dived as it rushed further down the stream. It picked up pace and ahead a freshly built beaver dam stood and blocked one of the two branching streams. Rock came crashing in and just in the wrong spot on the dam. It’s wooden parts crumbled and fell into the stream. The water behind the rock lowered and the fervor of the stream died. Little chunks of gnawed wood floated in the dark water and the rock sank to the shallow depths of the stream where it rested. An hour later a beaver returned and looked to the vacant stream. He then scurried in the pitch dark searching for more wood to replace his home. A beaver lived a tireless life. Eating, sleeping, and repeating this cycle. Almost devoid of personal effects or at least very subtle, insignificant ones.
