> Agent Redwood
>  by DannyJ
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Liaisons
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

It was unusual to see the Captain's office in a state of disarray, but when Wind Whistler poked his head in through the door, the place looked like it had been hit by a hurricane. Stacks of papers were randomly strewn about on the floor, furniture had been moved to irregular locations, and behind his desk, Shining Armor was digging his way through another load of forms. Wind Whistler's usual grin started to slip from his face as he noticed the chaos, but he nevertheless knocked on the door, waited for Shining's reply of "Enter," and proceeded inside.

"First Lieutenant Wind Whistler, reporting as ordered, sir," said Whistler, warily eyeing all the tripping hazards on the floor as he stepped over them.

Upon noticing who it was that he'd called inside, Shining broke into a smile.

"At ease," he said. 

"You wanted to speak with me, sir?"

"Yes I did. Come over."

The smile was reassuring, and so Whistler did as he was told, navigating the debris until he stood behind the desk as well. Shining remained sat on the floor, poring over what appeared to be troop reassignment forms.

"We have a problem," said Shining, not looking up from his papers.

"Don't we always?"

"This is an actual problem. Cadance was made the new ruler of the Crystal Empire, so she's taking permanent residency there, and I have to go with her. While I'm officially retaining my post as Captain of the Royal Guard for now, I've been told that I need to choose a replacement really, really soon. Ideally, an outgoing captain would've already groomed a successor for the job, but I haven't been in this position for that long myself, so I haven't had the chance. And that means that I need to pick an acting captain right this very moment to begin intensive training for when they actually take my job."

Wind Whistler's eyes widened.

"Okay," he said, trying to keep an even tone.

"You've always been my number one guy, Whistler, and you probably would've been my pick for executive officer anyway." Shining put down his papers and looked Wind Whistler in the eye. "I've thought it over, and there's nopony I trust more. Do you want the job?"

"Well... Uh..." Wind Whistler couldn't help but trip over his words. "I-I don't know. I mean... wouldn't that bring extra responsibilities with it?"

"Yes. But nothing you couldn't handle."

Whistler rubbed the back of his neck with a hoof.

"I'm still not sure... I'd really have to think it over. I'm not so good with handling responsibility in the first place, and all the extra duties on top of that..."

Shining gave Whistler a flat look. He stood up and stepped over a stack of paper, coming face to face with his subordinate.

"Please don't let your laziness screw you out of another opportunity, Whistler," he said, a note of annoyance entering his voice. "I know you could do this job if you tried. You managed to get this far, in spite of yourself. You're already my second, aren't you? And honestly, if anything, my job is even easier than yours. A surprising amount of it is just delegation. Seriously."

Whistler bit his lip and looked around the office.

"Whistler, seriously, I need an answer in the next five minutes or I'll have to give it to Chain Mail."

"Then yes!" Whistler blurted. "I'll do it! I'll take the job!"

Shining grinned.

"Great!" He trotted around the desk and hauled another stack of papers off the floor, which he then began sifting through midair. "Now for the problem."

Whistler's already very light blue face paled even further.

"...That wasn't the problem?"

"No. The problem is that I have to spend today getting my affairs in order. And that leaves me no time to meet with the EIS contact."

"EIS. That's the... Equestrian Intell—"

"Equestrian Intelligence Service, yes. And since this is going to be your first time meeting them as acting Captain of the Royal Guard, let me explain the basics."

Shining tossed the papers onto the desk and began rummaging through a loose drawer on the floor beside him, again focusing on his task rather than looking at Wind Whistler.

"First of all, we hate them. They demand transparency from us, show none on their end, and above all, they're arrogant and spiteful. Think every bully you've ever met, but with royal authority and a suit."

Whistler's expression hardened into a frown just picturing them.

"Second of all, they're gonna do everything they can to intimidate you. You can expect that they'll have sent a real creep as their liaison. The guy I met last year was called Exuding Malevolence, and I wish I was making that up. They'll only use agent designations at first, but don't be fooled. You do have the right to demand their actual names. They like to pretend that lots of stuff is classified and above your paygrade, but the truth is, they just don't like telling us things."

"Why not?"

"Because they don't like us. They're mad because we're just as secretive as they are, so they can't get information from us without direct liaisons or going through Celestia, and they think only they should have that privilege. After introductions, they'll usually begin by asking really ominous questions. Stuff like, 'Who would you say are your ten most expendable officers?' or 'How many guards have you lost to unexplained poisonings in the last three months?' If you ask them to explain themselves, they'll mostly refuse. So here's what you do."

Shining pulled some kind of notepad from the drawer and smiled at it. He put it in the pocket of his armour and turned back to Whistler.

"Refuse to tell them what they want," he said, his smile becoming a touch mischievous. "One of two things will happen. Either they'll get over their pride and explain themselves, or they'll cry to Celestia for a royal executive order demanding our compliance, and then Celestia will tell us what's going on after they're out of our manes. Either way, inconvenience them as much as possible. Never be honest if you don't have to be. Lie to them about everything. They ask you where the bathroom is, you tell them we don't have one. Got it?"

Whistler blinked.

"Are... Are you being serious right now?"

"A little bit." Shining stood up and stumbled across the room until he reached yet another stack, and then began sorting through the newest papers. "Really, the important thing is to make sure they don't leave us in the dark again. If they're doing something shady, and the ponies I'm responsible for are involved somehow, I want to know. But petty revenge for their years of equally petty behaviour is nice."

"Hmm." Wind Whistler shrugged with his wings. "Alright. I'll do it then. When am I meeting them?"

"Four o'clock in the east building interrogation room, but it's really your call where to meet. I always just chose that room because it's the coldest."

Wind Whistler tried not to be surprised by that.

"Uh-huh. Don't worry, Captain. I got it covered."





The guards either side of the door saluted Wind Whistler as he approached. He returned a half-hearted nod, and stopped as his hoof rested on the handle. He didn't know what kind of pony to expect on the other side. All the sergeant had told him was that a mare had arrived. That meant it probably wasn't the same agent that Shining had mentioned, but that didn't necessarily mean that she'd be any better. Then again, he doubted that the EIS could do any worse than an agent named Exuding Malevolence, so the odds were in his favour.

Closing his eyes and taking one last breath, like a deep-sea diver about to go under, Whistler pushed forward before he could convince himself to turn around and go do something else.

He entered the interrogation room, and was startled by how the agent immediately stood out against the featureless white walls and floor. Her vibrant red mane immediately drew the eye, which then noticed her black suit and tie, her square reading glasses, and her brownish red coat. She seemed just as startled by Whistler's sudden entrance, looking up suddenly from some kind of folder, which she immediately snapped shut and laid down on the simple wooden table that separated them.

"Oh, hello," she said, still staring at him with widened eyes. "Sorry. Didn't expect you so soon."

She pushed the folder to the side and held out a hoof, attempting a weak smile.

"Agent Redwood. I'm your EIS liaison."

In some distant corner of his mind, Wind Whistler wondered what he had been afraid of. With a smile of his own, though a much more natural one than hers, he closed the door behind him and strolled over to the table.

"I figured." He sat down opposite the agent and shook her hoof. "First Lieutenant Wind Whistler. Or, Captain Wind Whistler now, I suppose. It's all rather short notice."

"Heh, same." Redwood seemed to become less tense, as she pulled the file back over and opened it again. "Alright... Um... I've been instructed to request information on the Royal Guard's status as of the Changeling Incident... specifically as it pertains to... hold on..."

Redwood turned several pages in the folder and scanned back and forth with her eyes.

"...As it pertains to... 'casualties endured, ponies injured or captured, intelligence compromised, prisoners taken, and enemy intelligence recovered.'"

"Okay..." Whistler raised an eyebrow. "May I ask why the EIS needs this information?"

"Just a general damage report," Redwood said, off-handedly. "Communications are still in disarray, so we've been making similar inquiries to other military branches all week. Or, well, I have. I'm kind of the only agent on the job right now."

Whistler frowned. "And why's that?"

"Staff shortage. Our HQ's in a terrible state. The changelings infiltrated us, and we lost half our number. The guy who would normally be meeting you is still missing, his next three replacements are also all missing, and the next in line is my boss, who just got promoted and is now running half the agency. I was a last resort for this job. I'm technically not even qualified for it yet."

He cocked his head.

"You're surprisingly forthcoming about all this. I was told before coming in here that the EIS is historically very guarded and rarely shares information."

Redwood stifled a laugh.

"Yeah, well... I figured, maybe if my side was nice for once, yours might be too."

With a sly smile, Whistler leaned in.

"Between you and me," he whispered, "the Captain told me to lie to and inconvenience you as much possible. Petty revenge for your agency's attitude."

This time, Redwood couldn't hold back the laugh. She removed her glasses and put them down on the table.

"Between you and me," she said, "I was told to do the exact same thing, because the Royal Guard never cooperates."

She laughed again, and Whistler laughed with her. It did not last for long, but once it was over, all the previous tension in the air had evaporated. Whistler relaxed his posture, no longer sitting so stiffly.

"We are so unprofessional," said Redwood, leaning her face on a hoof.

"We're unprofessional? Captain Armor and your C.O. are the ones going out of their way to be childish. Just think of how much time our divisions must've wasted on antagonising each other, when we're both part of the same government!"

"I know, right? It's kinda sad, really."

The two of them became quiet. While Redwood was left looking at the table, Whistler glanced over to her folder.

"Can I see what it is you need to know, exactly? Maybe I can help you out."

Redwood casually turned the folder around and slid it across the desk. Whistler stopped it with a hoof and skimmed the page it was opened on.

"Compromised officers..." he muttered. "Enemy contraband... requisitioning... Huh. Alright."

After a minute and a half, Whistler finished up with the folder, closed it, and slid it back over.

"There were no pony casualties or severe injuries that I'm aware of, and we didn't take any prisoners, but I can have the boys bring up our records on the rest of the stuff you need. As for the other thing... I'm sorry to report that we've already cremated all the changeling remains, and I'm more than a little concerned that your science team wants them in the first place."

"You and me both," said Redwood. "But thank you! Records would be most helpful."

With a nod, Whistler stood up and headed back for the door. Before heading outside, he paused, and turned around to look at Redwood again.

"Out of curiosity, is it true that you had a pony called Agent Exuding Malevolence working this job before you?"

Redwood smiled. "It's Director Malevolence now. And before you ask, yes, he is exactly like a comic-book supervillain."

There was no response he could give to that, so Wind Whistler just sighed, shrugged, and stepped out into the corridor, past the other two guards.





It was over an hour later when Redwood finally packed the last of the Royal Guard's records back into their boxes, so that they could be returned to the archive later. She sat up from the desk that she hadn't moved from in her entire visit, and trotted over to the exit with her folder clenched against her body by her wing. Wind Whistler hadn't even known she was a pegasus until she stood up, nor had he noticed the leg brace. He held open the door for her as she walked out, and then followed her down the corridor.

"Well, thank you very much for your cooperation, Captain Whistler," said Redwood. "I think this is the fullest report an EIS liaison officer has ever brought back. You might just be what finally gets me into my CO's good graces."

"Feathers crossed. Though it's probably still just First Lieutenant Whistler for a while."

"Never say never. You seem like you'd make a good captain."

"Well, you know. Anything to improve interservice relations."

Redwood grinned.

"Say, here's a proposal, Captain. Do you want to go out somewhere this Friday?"

Whistler raised an eyebrow.

"Isn't that a little unprofessional, given our jobs?"

"Why? Weren't we already having liaisons?"

He stopped in his tracks. Redwood did too. She looked back at him, and her grin widened. He stared at her incredulously, and then began shaking his head.

"You were building up to that pun, weren't you?"

Redwood laughed.

"For over an hour, you've been waiting just to make that pun!"

"Hah! Guilty as charged!"

"You're terrible! This is why everypony hates the EIS!"

"I'm not hearing a no!" said Redwood in a singsong voice.

Whistler sighed and covered his face with a wing. He continued shaking his head for a second, before uncovering and rolling his eyes.

"Ah, fine, you got me. I relent. Friday it is."

The two resumed walking, and before long reached the building's exit. Whistler and Redwood emerged onto the grounds of Canterlot Castle, now bathed orange in the glow of the evening sun. In that gentle light, they both couldn't help but smile.

"So, do you wanna choose a place, or should I?" asked Redwood.

"As it happens, I know a place that does excellent pies..."
> Strange Bedfellows
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The sound of a hoof banging on the hotel door woke Azure from her slumber, causing her to flop about and try to kick the covers off of herself. The only light in the darkness came from the glare of the neon lights outside, which peeked in through the gaps in the curtains and illuminated her pale blue form. Grumbling, she eased out of bed and navigated across the tiled floor as best she could in her half-asleep state. She threw open the door, giving the pony on the other side a disdainful look.

Her brother froze in place, still holding his hoof inches from where the door would've been, his eyes widened in surprise. Azure looked him up and down, taking in his ruffled orange mane and matted blue coat, both much darker shades than hers. She wrinkled her nose slightly as she noticed how sweaty he was, but chose not to comment on it.

"Where've you been?" she asked, turning her back to him and heading into the hotel room. "Do you even know what time it is?"

Arrow followed in after her.

"I'm sorry, Az. I lost my key."

The electric lights flickered on as Azure punched the switch on the wall, the door slamming shut behind her. After picking up the covers from the floor, she flopped back onto her bed and began fixing her pillows.

"So why were you out so late?"

Arrow leaned against the far wall. "Met a mare. Got into an impromptu archery competition. Things escalated from there. Lost track of time. I'm sorry for leaving you back at the carnival."

"What were you doing in an archery competition? You don't do archery."

"Yeah, that's what I told her, but she talked me into it anyway." He shrugged. "I guess she thought that the name must've had some significance."

Satisfied with her pillows, Azure pulled a book from her bedside table and opened it up to the midway point.

"Must've been quite some competition. You've been away for at least six hours."

"Seven," said Arrow, his eyes darting over the corner of the room. 

Azure stopped and lowered her book to give him a raised eyebrow. The corner of her lip curled up in a smile.

"So what was her name?"

Arrow cleared his throat. "Uh... Redwood. She was called Redwood."

As his sister returned to the book, Arrow gestured towards the bathroom.

"I'm sorry if it keeps you up, but I'm going to go take a shower before bed, if that's alright?"

"That's why I'm reading, little bro."

With an appreciative nod, Arrow left to run his shower. Azure just smiled and shook her head.





In the summer sun, the desert just outside of Las Pegasus was intensely hot, but still ponies gathered in droves for the day's events. Large marquee tents and hastily-assembled structures were set up around the place, and in the centre of it all, there was the rodeo. It had not yet begun in earnest, but already ponies were filling up the stands that circled most of the arena. There were families, enthusiasts from other towns, and citizens of Las Pegasus who'd come out to enjoy the festivities.

Azure was in the second category. She navigated the crowd with a wide smile on her face, despite the sweat forming on her brow in the midday sun. She noted that most of the crowd were earth ponies, like her, many of them sharing her lighter shades. She looked back over her shoulder towards her brother, the pegasus, who was caught trying to get around a group of stallions. Courtesy dictated that he couldn't just fly over them, but he obviously wanted to. He wasn't hiding his frustration well.

Soon he caught up again, and the pair continued onwards until they eventually made it to a tent where refreshments were being served. Ponies lined up to get a mug of cool apple cider from one of the many tables at the edge of the room, where the salesponies stacked up barrels of the stuff. In the centre of the tent, more saleponies offered assorted snacks from yet more tables, tempting the foals to annoy their parents into buying something.

The siblings queued up together for one of the cider tables.

"Busy here today," Arrow commented. "This one's huge compared to Dodge."

"Well, these big city rodeos can afford more promotion, can't they? Makes for a great spectacle, though."

"If you say so, Sis. But you know that rodeo's never been my sport. I'll always be a racer."

At that moment, a reddish brown mare popped up behind Arrow and leaned over his back, grinning at him. He recoiled at the unexpected contact, his eyes widening. 

"But that's not the only thing you're good at, is it, Mister Fifty Seconds?" she said.

Azure raised an eyebrow, but said nothing. Meanwhile, a slight blush crept over Arrow's features.

"What are you doing here?" he whispered, furtively glancing towards his sister for a brief moment.

The new mare lifted a wing over and in front of Arrow, a key dangling from the tip. She gave him a slightly more subdued smile.

"You left your key behind."

Arrow released a breath he'd been holding and took the key with his teeth.

"Thank you," he said, stuffing them into a saddlebag.

The new mare didn't remove herself from his personal space, however. Instead, she relaxed her wing and turned her attention to Azure.

"He's a keeper, this one. Good aim. Strong legs."

"He's my brother," Azure said flatly.

"I can tell. You're Azure, right? He talked about you."

"Yes, I am. And I'm guessing you're Redwood."

At that point, the line moved forward, and Redwood was forced to let go and stand beside the siblings. Azure's eyes darted down and noticed a brace on one of her hind legs. She was tempted to ask, but did not want to risk appearing impolite. So instead, she turned to her brother.

"So... Mister Fifty Seconds?"

"It's not referring to what you think it is," Arrow muttered, before trying to redirect the conversation back to Redwood. "How did you even find me here?"

"You said you were coming here last night, remember? And it wasn't hard to pick you out of a crowd. Not many pegasi at the Las Pegasus rodeo. Odd, really. You wouldn't expect that from the name."

"You still didn't need to come find me. I could've gone back for the keys this afternoon."

"Pfft. I doubt you even remember where it was. Besides, this is more fun."

"You know..." Azure shifted in place. "I think I'm gonna go find a place in the stands before the good seats are all taken. Leave you two to catch up. Come find me after."

"Oh, no need for that!" Redwood said, cheerfully. "I'll come with you! Arrow's a strong colt. He can get ciders for the three of us, can't you, Arrow?"

"Uh..."

"Great! Come on then!"

And before Azure could protest, she was being ushered towards the tent exit by her brother's strange new friend, who followed her out all the way.





Azure and Redwood sat on the top row of their stand, the former sitting in place rigidly while occasionally fidgeting, and the latter reclining against the back of the stand with a look of contentment on her face.

"I've never been to a rodeo before," said Redwood, sitting up. "I knew they were here when I was a kid, but I never wanted to go."

"You live around Las Pegasus then?"

"Nah. Just visiting my mom while I'm on leave. I live up in Canterlot."

Azure turned her head, furrowing her brow.

"On leave? No way you're in the Guard."

"Eh..." Redwood looked up and made circular motions with her hoof as she searched for the words. "It's... something like that. I can't go into specifics, but yeah, it's a branch of the Platoons."

Azure blinked.

"You don't come off like a guardspony."

"Yeah, well, I'm not on duty. I can have fun on my own time if I want." She pointed down to the arena. "Is that a clown? There are clowns here?"

Azure looked in the direction Redwood was pointing and noticed a gaggle of rodeo clowns off to the side of the arena, seemingly preparing for their later act.

"Uh, yeah. There are. They come on at the end after the main performances."

"Cool..." Redwood leaned forward more to get a better view. "Do you go to a lot of these?"

"My little brother and I sort of tour the country and follow the major rodeos. And when we don't, we're following racing competitions, because he competes in those."

"I know. He told me all about his racing. He showed me some, too."

"Yeah, I'll bet he did," Azure muttered. "I might regret asking, but what is 'Mister Fifty Seconds' in reference to?"

Redwood grinned. "His speed when I challenged him to a race around the block. What did you think it was?"

Azure stifled a smirk.

"I should've expected as much. What else did you two get up to? An archery competition was mentioned when he got back last night."

"A lot of things. Archery at the carnival, left and went to a bar, drunken flying race, my place..."

"Why did he come back to me if the night ended at your place?"

Redwood rolled her eyes. "Said you'd be worried about him, since he didn't tell you that he'd be spending the night away. And to be fair, I don't think he was expecting to not come home when you two parted ways. He's kind of clueless."

"Hey, watch what you say about him."

"Didn't mean anything by it."

Looking around, Azure noticed that the stands were filling up. The show would be starting soon, and still there was no sign of her brother. She wiped the sweat from her forehead and leaned back, putting a hoof over her forehead to block the glare from the sun. Celestia was apparently feeling wrathful today.

"So where do you two live if you travel so often?" asked Redwood.

"On the road, I guess. Arrow does his racing and I do odd jobs, and we just stay wherever we can find a place. Our parents live up north, and so do my older brothers, but we haven't lived with them in years now. Though, I have always wanted to settle in Appleloosa."

Redwood nodded. "Must be fun, living so free."

"It's got its perks."

"I can imagine it must be nice having no fixed job. If you don't like your boss, you don't have to put up with him for long. Me? I can't stand my C.O. Guy's a total grump, and I'm stuck with him until I get promoted out of his little task force. Can't tell him what I really think of him, either, 'cause you're not supposed to mouth off to a superior, and I don't want to get disciplined."

Azure frowned.

"Again, you really don't seem like a guard. Isn't military life meant to be highly regimented and orderly? You seem like kind of a... free spirit."

"Well, that's what I get for following my father's hoofsteps. But it's not all bad. My division is kind of informal, all things considered. No marching in lockstep or anything. Though it does have a much stricter dress code."

"What division is that, exactly?"

"I really can't discuss it with you any further. Official Secrets Act and all that."

"Well now you're just teasing."

At that moment, Arrow returned, precariously balancing three mugs of apple cider on his back. He gave them an uneasy smile as he distributed them one at a time by hoof.

"You two having a nice talk?" he asked.

Azure looked sideways at Redwood, who had already begun taking a long gulp of cider.

"You know, I think we are."





Coming out of the rodeo in the evening sun, three ponies laughed together, Redwood in particular being almost in hysterics. Her wings draped over both of her companions' backs as she walked between them, but it was Azure she leaned into while she cried in laughter.

"I should've come to a rodeo years ago!" she said, finally calming down. "That big guy was hilarious! Most circuses don't have clowns that good!"

Azure, also just gaining control of herself, wiped away a tear of her own. "I know! Wasn't he great? He wasn't here last year. He was really something."

"The clowns are always my favourite parts," said Arrow. "Sometimes I sit through these rodeos just for those guys."

Redwood let out a long, content sigh.

"Welp, it's been fun, you guys, but I need to get going." She let go of Azure and Arrow, walked forward several paces, and turned to face them both. "How long are you going to be in town for?"

"Not much longer," said Azure. "One day left, and then we're heading up to Rainbow Falls."

"Ah, shoot. And I gotta spend tomorrow with my mom and grandma."

"Dang, that sucks," said Arrow. "I was hoping we'd get to see you again before we left."

"Well, we can always see each other some other time. My job takes me travelling a lot, too. If we're ever in the same area again, maybe we can meet up. You got a, uh...?"

Redwood made a gesture with her hooves, and Arrow, immediately understanding, reached into his saddlebags and retrieved a small notepad with a pencil. Redwood took the pencil with her mouth and scrawled an address on it, which she gave back to Arrow.

"Send a postcard to this address or something, and they'll direct it to wherever I am at the time."

"Sure thing." Arrow smiled and pulled her into a quick embrace. "It's been fun."

"Same to you." Redwood looked to Azure briefly, before pulling her into a similar hug. "And you weren't a bad time, either."

Upon breaking away from the pair, Redwood spread her wings and took flight. With one last wave goodbye, she flew away into the distance, heading back in the direction of the city, where the neon lights of the casinos were just beginning to glow.

"I like her," said Azure. "That whole encounter was a lot less awkward than I thought it'd be."

"Yep. I should run off with strange mares more often."

Azure playfully punched her brother in the shoulder.

"Come on, you. Let's hit the Fremount one last time while we're still in town. I'm feeling lucky tonight."

"Sounds like a plan."