I Choose The Moon
“That is not true, Sister!” Luna pushed her sister back, using her magic to trap Celestia in a large bubble.
From inside of the impenetrable walls, Celestia screamed out. “See? This is what I’m talking about, Luna! Your “jokes” are getting so out of hoof that most of the ponies think I’m pulling them after that stupid thing with Twilight!”
Luna chuckled, releasing Celestia from her miniscule prison. “My pranks are as funny as they always have been, sister. I think you are just angry at me for getting you nearly three times in a row.”
“I AM NOT ANGRY!” the words forced their way from Celestia’s mouth. “I just think your pranks are becoming too large!”
Luna turned around, stepping towards the windows of the throne room, opening one up and jumping onto the ledge. “I think you’re just crazy. And I can prove it to you.”
Taking a look down, Luna summoned up a rope, suspending her magic in the air for a few seconds before tying it around her wings. Turning back to Princess Celestia, she smirked. “Bye bye.”
And she leapt from the ledge to the hard ground below.
“LUNA!!!” Princess Celestia rushed over to the window, spreading her wings and jumping out after Princess Luna.
All Celestia could see was the rocky mountain below, but there was no sign of Luna. Celestia knew this had to be another prank, but she wasn’t going to be taking any chances. Her heart forced tears down her face, but her mind pushed angry screams from her throat.
It wasn’t until Princess Celestia reached the bottom of the rocky surface that she found Princess Luna, resting comfortably on an air mattress, wings untied. “What took you so long, dear sister?”
Celestia wiped her tears away, a scowl on her face. “You think this is a game!?”
“Yes!” Luna grinned at her sister, holding up a juice box for Celestia. “Juice?”
Celestia slapped the juice from the air. “I don’t want any juice, Luna! You could’ve hurt yourself! I told you that your pranks are getting too big, and one of these times you’re going to hurt either yourself or one of my subjects-”
“Our subjects.”
“You don’t even deserve subjects if you’re going to hurt them!” Celestia had had enough of Luna’s mindless “pranks.” This was going to end. Right at that moment.
“Well, Luna, how about we make a little bet?”
This brought Luna’s curiosity up. Jumping to her hooves, she eagerly pressed up against Celestia. “What kind of bet art we talking about, sister?”
Celestia grinned. She knew that Luna was trapped in her hooves now. “Oh, well I was just thinking...If you can prove to me that your pranks are harmless banter, fun for everypony, then I’ll allow you to keep doing them.”
Luna paused, her face turning to one of boredom. She closed her eyes in thought for a few seconds. “I am a Princess of Equestria, dear sister. I can prank whenever I please. If you want me to stop, then I need something to play on.”
“Play on? Whatever do you mean, Luna?” The two had rarely ever made a bet. Celestia didn’t know how Luna played these mind games, albeit they had known one another for thousands of years.
Luna giggled, looking up into the sky. “Well, usually when I make a deal with another, sister, I like having a reason to play, as I have so much power that not many can stop my fun!”
“Get on with it, Luna, I do not have all day to keep track of you!” Celestia rolled her eyes; Luna was a master at deceit, and this was all some sort of trick. It had to be.
Luna pointed her hoof up to the sky. “We will play for the moon.”
At the mention of “playing for the moon,” Celestia took a step back, right into the rocks behind her. “The moon!? Luna, do you not realize that, without the moon, there would be no Equestria?”
“Celestia, Celestia, calm down. It’s not like it will be gone forever!” Luna looked up to the sky, lighting her horn in ecstatic glee.”
“Luna, STOP!” Celestia was firm, her volume rising with each passing second.
“No.” Luna was bubbly, her figure bouncing up and down as she focused on the moon, slowly beginning to shrink as it descended in the sky, coming closer to the two sisters.
Celestia was getting worried, her voice trying to stabilize itself. “L-Luna, I forbid this a-act of inconsideration! Put the moon back before I must send you-” She hesitated, only then realizing her mistake.
Before Celestia could comprehend an entirely new sentence, Luna held up her hoof, a small black ball resting in her hoof.
For a second, Celestia was confused. “That’s a black rubber ball. The moon is bright, like cheese!”
Luna couldn’t hold back her chuckling. “Sister, the moon is only seen as bright because of the reflective light it gets from your sun!”
Celestia stood, dumbfounded, in front of Luna.
“Now sister, I’ll take your bet!” Luna’s horn lit up, and suddenly, the small ball was whisked away. “But that goes into storage…”
“Sto-...okay, the deal is this. You are going to prank the one pony who I have found as a worthy contender against you. Her name is Derpy Hooves.”
Luna had heard of Derpy before, though all she had ever heard were bad things about Derpy. “The one with the wall-eyes? Are you sure?”
Celestia nodded, illuminating the air, which had darkened from the loss of the moon. “And, even more, with your little moon stunt, eventually everypony will be freaking out in Equestria over the darkness. Good luck, have fun with your pranks while they last.”
And with a flash of light, Celestia was gone.
Lucky for Luna, her eyes had adjusted to the darkness throughout the years. It slowly became easier to see through the pitch black darkness. She didn’t want to waste her energy with light from her horn.
Taking a look around, Luna saw a trail leading off back into the one town she had heard that Derpy lived close to: Ponyville.
“But Twilight Sparkle, you must tell me where she lives!” Princess Luna had been pestering Twilight for hours. Luna found that the easiest way to a pony’s address was through the smartest pony in Ponyville.
“I told you, Princess, that I would be breaking a whole pony’s hoof of privacy laws if I did that!” It was true. Disclosing an address at the command of anypony was illegal, even if it was a Princess asking.
“Twilight, this is very important. Equestria could be in grave danger without it!”
Twilight rolled her eyes to the anticipatory Princess at the door. “Why? Is it the eclipse in the sky? Yeah, it’s really dark out there, but I doubt that it's an issue. You’re the Princess of the Night, you should know this!”
Luna was ready to grab Twilight when a small voice came from the other room of the library. “Twilight, are you coming back to bed or will I have to lick another-”
For a second, Luna didn’t know what was happening. She stared up at the lonely gray mare whose eyes couldn’t stay fixed on the Princess.
Twilight looked down, face flushed red. “I...Princess, this is not what it looks like! I was just showing- I mean...alright, yeah, we’re together! Big deal!”
“I never even asked!” Luna whispered down to Twilight, who was standing there nearly paralyzed.
“Just ask her what you need before I have to send you away, Princess!”
Luna grinned, turning back to the night. “That is all, Twilight Sparkle. All I needed was a confirmation of her location!” Head held high, she walked out, closing the door in Twilight’s awestruck face.
Luna paced back and forth outside of Twilight’s library. What could she do to prank a mare that was with another mare, especially one like Twilight?
“AHA! I’ve got it!” Luna jumped up in delight, spreading her wings and flying off.
Hours later, just as dawn broke the cool night air, Luna flew back down to the top of Twilight’s library. She could barely stifle her laughs as she placed the small moon on the tip of the library.
She had already enchanted the ball to grow around a state of love, and she also knew that Twilight got nervous when she wasn’t able to explain something.
Soaring back down to the door she had stood at only hours earlier, Luna raised a hoof and tapped lightly on it.
No sooner had she tapped than Twilight came rushing to the door, opening it and lowering her anxiety at the sight of Princess Luna. “Oh, Princess, back so soon? What seems to be your drive this time?”
Luna had to come up with an excuse on the spot. She knew that the two in the library had to kiss, and she knew exactly how she would do it. Narrowing her eyes and putting a large smile on her face, she got close to Twilight. “Oh, Twilight Sparkle, I just had to come see you again. Your beauty and shimmer lures me back again and again. Please, allow me to teach thou the proper way to kiss a Princess.”
For a moment, it seemed as if Twilight was actually going to Succumb to Princess Luna. The blush on Twilight’s face and the heavy panting were signs of her eagerness.
Looking up into Luna’s eyes, Twilight whispered the one word Luna needed. “No…”
Princess Luna tried to put on a sad face as Twilight moved backwards, calling Derpy down by her side.
When the wall-eyed mare was able to make her way down the stairs, Twilight put an arm around her and planted her lips directly onto Derpys’.
Luna looked up, watching the ceiling slightly bend down. She giggled, which caused Twilight to glance over to her. “Princess, I’m sorry to have to say this, but will you please leave us alone? We would like at least a little privacy before my friends arrive!”
Luna bowed to Twilight. “Of course, Twilight Sparkle.” She trotted off, slowly shutting the door before grinning up to the ball on the roof, now growing larger, and surprisingly brighter.
“Luna, what in Equestria are you doing!?” Luna hastily spun around to face her sister, who stood there tapping her hooves.
Luna’s eyes darted back and forth, trying to avoid the gaze of Celestia. “Sister, it is not what it looks like! Derpy Hooves is in there, and-”
“So you’re going to crush her!?” By now, Celestia’s voice was filled with concern, both for her sister and the mare inside of the library.
“Of course not!” Luna tried to rebuttal. “I was simply going to bend her house, which I have intelligently turned into rubber, to scare Derpy!”
For a moment, Celestia seemed to be in a state of complete shock. The moon was growing larger by the second, and the sun reflecting off of it turned the entire town into what would’ve looked like the surface of the sun if it wasn’t on fire. “Even if there was a spell that could turn things to rubber, this heat from your stupid plan would melt it, and then she’d still die!”
Finally, the message got through to Luna! “We need to shrink it again! Please, sister, help me here!”
Looking up, Luna saw that the moon had stopped growing, only a fourth of its size, but the sun beaming onto it made the air feel nearly unbearable.
Nervous, Luna pointed her horn towards the ball of death. “It’s stopped growing, sister! We need to get them out of there! Hurry!”
She turned, watching Celestia quickly point her horn at this seemingly fiery mass and shoot a large blast of magic from her horn. Luna followed in succession, panting in relief at the sight of a slowly shrinking moon. When it was finally back to the mini ball size, she zapped it away.
Luna looked up to the giant, melting castle. She knew she had turned it to rubber before she had started the prank. She was much more worried about the state of everything inside. Had she just melted a couple of ponies!?
Rushing inside, bursting through the sticky door, Luna gasped. One large puddle stood in the middle of the floor. A mixture of purple and gray, the sight of the liquid caused Luna to burst out in tears.
"Sister, if you had never challenged me to this, then they wouldn’t be...liquid!” Luna felt a comforting hoof on her shoulder.
From above, Luna heard Celestia sobbing. “I never expected this to happen! My prized student and her lover…”
Luna’s tears slowed down, her thoughts beginning to slow down, allowing her room to think. ”Wait...how did you know they were lovers…”
All of a sudden, Celestia began to laugh, falling over onto her plot.
“Sister, you can’t be…”
Celestia nodded furiously, a silent laugh escaping her lips. Luna thought she looked crazy without the laugh, and readily, Luna smacked Celestia’s hooves.
“How could you!? I truly thought they were gone!”
Celestia stopped, looking up solemnly at Luna. “Oh, they are, but the rubber was classic! I can’t believe I actually pulled it off! It’s just a rubber version of the actual treehouse!”
Luna felt even more enraged, ready to blow up on Celestia. Right before the rant started, the door opened, a large sticky mass dropping to the floor, leaving a large hole in the place of the door.
“Princess Celestia, did you get her yet?” Twilight’s voice nearly brought Luna to tears. Luna took Twilight up in her hooves in a giant embrace.
“Oh, dearest Twilight Sparkle, I do promise not to prank thou anymore!”
Now, both Twilight and Celestia were on the floor.
“Luna, sister, do you not see what I have been saying? I do not care if you play pranks on the ponies of Equestria, but you just have to stop taking it so far! As shown today, you could hurt somepony!”
Luna furiously nodded, smiling at her sister. Before grabbing her into a hug, Luna smacked Celestia.
“If you ever do that again, I will explode, just like before!” At that, everypony started to giggle, even Twilight, who had no idea what they were talking about.
“Sure thing, Luna!” Celestia’s magic flared up, but Luna placed her hoof on Celestia’s horn.
“But then, where is Ms. Derpy?”
Twilight spoke up in response to this. “Oh, she went home, Princess! I cannot let my friends catch us together, if you know what I mean!”
One final time, Luna chuckled, finally using her own magic to teleport away.
But instead of an empty spot, Celestia found a balloon, shaped and drawn on to look like Luna.
“Oh, that pony will never learn, but it sure is fun to watch her freak out.”
Celestia looked down at Twilight. Her voice morphed to imitate Derpy’s voice. “And she was never the wiser, my student.”
Both ponies giggled, walking out of the melted house to continue on their days as normal.
From the roof of the rubber library, Luna watched, a smirk on her face.
“And this, sister, is only the beginning of my reign as Trolluna!”