> My little short stories- Tales of Dream castle > by Paradise Oasis > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Introduction > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Introduction Hello everyone, Paradise Oaisis here! Welcome to Dream Valley, the small city-state kingdom in the heart of the Everfree forest! Here, we are far separated from the hustle and bustle of Equestria, and life within the walls of our pink castle has a rhythm all it's own. Under the rule of our great monarch, Queen Majesty, we maintain a harmonious life free from Pegasus weather control or alicorns or any other absurdities that are a part of other pony's lives. Though, we do have our share of... odd adventures here! Within these pages, I shall tell you of these adventures. I will tell you of my friend Wind Whistler, the highly intelligent blue Pegasus whose whole life revolves around logic. I will speak to you of Gusty, the hot headed white unicorn who loves to pick a fight before even trying to talk her way out of a situation. And I will speak of Shady, our dear depressed earth pony friend, who never really seems to get out of her despair. All these ponies and more, I shall tell you of in the coming chapters. I truly and sincerely hope you will enjoy these humorous and wonderful tales. Paradise Oasis > Mane Troubles > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Mane troubles Okay, okay, the whole mess with Cheerilee was our fault, but how were we supposed to know? It was a quiet Saturday evening and we were all sitting around the Satin Slipper, drinking milkshakes and having a good laugh. Fizzy was serving up root beer floats with a smile and a laugh as always, Wind Whistler was staring at her glass and philosophically arguing whether it was half empty or half full, and Shady was whining about how they were out of chocolate, and she had to drink a vanilla shake instead. It was then that Cheerilee came trotting into the shop... and boy were her mane and tail a mess! "Whoa, Cheerilee!" Fizzy giggled, nearly tumbling over from laughter. "You look like you got hit by a bug zapper!" "Gee, Fizz, thanks for noticing!" The teaching mare grumbled, indicating how unhappy she was with the situation. "I couldn't even get a comb though this tangled mess this morning." And boy, was she right! That mane looked like a tangled up mass of spaghetti some one had twirled together with a fork, and her tail didn't look much better! I've never seen so many split ends, tangles, and frizzy hairs sticking out of the same pink mane! "Gee, your mane looks terrible!" Shady cried in despair, trying to hold her tears back. "I really wish we could do something to help!" "The logical thing for us to do, would be to assist you with your follicle follies." Wind Whistler added, in her usual logical manner. "For such a remedy, I would recommend a visit to the Crimp and Curl hair salon, where most of us go whenever we are in the necessity of a style alteration." "Yeah, that's it!" Fizzy giggled, putting her milkshakes away, and closing up the Satin Slipper early. "Let's take her over to the salon, and give her a makeover, it'll be fun!" "Indeed, Fizzy! And while we are present at the same time and location, perhaps it would be meritorious to get our manes done at the same time, as well." "Oh, I guess I'll come along," Shady whined, trotting along after the other mares. "But I'm sure I'll be nothing but a burden to the rest of you!" "Now wait, girls- are you all so sure this is such a good idea?" Cheerilee asked hesitantly. "I-I mean, I could just try to straighten my mane out, myself." "Awww, com'n Cheerilee! It won't hurt a bit, we promise!" Fizzy replied innocently, a great big grin upon her face. "Besides, you're gonna need to get a cut sooner or later!" I could understand her hesitation, Cheerilee had not gotten her mane done ever since she arrived in Dream Valley from Equestria. But I think she realized she'd have to get it done sooner or later... unless she wanted to look like a brush n' grow pony. As they dragged her away, this white Pegasus decided to follow along to see what would happen. I really felt sorry for the poor teacher- not only for what her mane looked like, but for what I knew these three goofballs were going to do to her. .... The three of them led Cheerilee down to the Crimp n' curl Salon, a small structure just outside of Dream Castle's main keep. The yellow building looks like a large yellow vanity covered in bows, satin, and lace. As we all trotted through the door, a white earth mare with a blue mane and pink cutie mark greeted us. "Ahhhh, bonjuor my little ponies. Velcome to mi salon!" Fifi, the owner of the Crimp 'n Curl, greeted us. "Please, do come in, and let's see what we can do for vou!" Fifi clapped her hooves together, and her two assistants, Dabble and Scribble, quickly prepare a series of chairs for all of the girls (I declined, of course, only being here to watch this disaster unfold). The three beauty ponies washed, cleaned, and prepared their hair for a cut. Before we knew it, all four of them were seated in front of mirrors, the beauticians ready to go to work on their manes. "So, Fizzy!" Dabble asked, reading the scissors in her hooves. "What'll it be today?" "Eh, I'm feelin' a little bit crazy today!" The goofy twinkle-eyed mare told her. "Go ahead and give me a mohawk!" The purple pony with a pink mane nods, and suddenly spun around the ditzy unicorn in a flurry of cuts and snips. Cheerilee's jaw nearly hits the floor when she sees her friend's new do. "B-but Fizzy!" The teacher pony whimpered, looking on in shock at the single strip of mane the unicorn had left. "Your beautiful mane!" "Oh, that is no great difficulty, my dear Cheerilee." Wind Whistler added, looking back at her beautician. "My dear Scribble, I would be most appreciative if you gave me a swirl pattern shaved into my head." The white earth mare with the red mane nodded, and she soon had the genius pony's mare's mane shaved close to her head. "Aieee! Wind Whistler, you look even worse!" Cheerilee shrieked. "You call these hairdo's a makeover?!" "Okay, Shady! What is it vou want?" Fifi asked, looking over at the depressed mare. "Zomething even more radical, S'il te plait" "Oh, I don't know, whatever I get will look horrible on me!" The mare whimpered sadly, shaking her mane. "Cheerilee, why don't you go first, instead?" "You know what? If you all are taking such chances with your manes, so will I!" The teacher announced, looking back at the beautician. "Fifi, shave everything off- my tail, my mane, everything!" "Oui, madam!" The beautician exclaimed, jumping right over to Cheerilee's chair. "Don't vorry, I will make you look tres magnifique!" Fifi then proceeded to shave the earth mare bald, cutting off every last hair follicle on the earth mare's mane and tail. The beautician spun her around to face the mirror, where she got a good look at her now bald body. "Wow, what an odd trio we look to be!" Cheerilee sighed sadly, hopping out of the chair. "Oh well, at least we'll all look freakish together until our manes grow back!" It was at that instant, that Wind Whistler and Fizzy's manes and tails instantly grew back, taking their old shapes again as they both went back to looking the way they had before the cuts. Cheerilee stared at all of them in shock, as the surprised trio of ponies all stared back at her bald head, until Fizzy finally spoke up. "Ummmm, Cheerilee? Don't Equestrian pony manes grow back instantly after they are cut off?" The unicorn asked. "That's what Ponyland pony manes do!" Cheerilee's eyes go wide, as she reacts in a way only Cheerilee the Equestrian teacher could... "AIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" *thud!* "Oh dear," Wind Whistler said in concern, as I tried to hold back my hysterical laughter. "I do believe she has once again passed out!" > Evening dreams > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Evening dreams "Gusty, there you are!" Wind Whistler exclaimed, trotting out to where the two of us were enjoying the sunset on the castle balcony. "I am pleased to have ascertained your location, so that I may converse and discourse on various topics with you." "Hey Windy! Paradise an' I were just watching the sun set, why don't ya come and join us?" "I would be delighted to perform a viewing of our planetary rotation removing the star we orbit from our view." The Pegasus replied with a smile, trotting over to sit down beside us. "Such heavenly motion is always a fascinating phenomena to observe!" "Ahhh jeez, Windy! Do ya have ta take everything magical outta life with all yer science talk?" My unicorn friend asked in annoyance, glaring at the newest arrival. "Remind me ta never invite ya along ta one of Galaxy's planetarium shows!" "Oh, come on now, Gusty! Wind Whistler is only expressing her wonder at the evening sky in her own special way." I reply, trying to step in before there is another fight. "She just sees the world differently than we do." "Paradise is quite correct, although I fail to see how a simple planetary rotation, no matter how awe-inspiring it may be, has anything to do with magic whatsoever." "Oh Windy Windy Windy," I tell her with a sigh, shaking my head at how she just didn't get it. "Sometimes, I think you're just too smart a mare for your own good." "Perhaps that is for the best, Paradise." The pony genius agreed. "In any event, has anyone heard how Cheerilee is doing after the other day's... incident?" "Ugh.... not good, I'm afraid." I told her, flexing my wings sadly. "Fifi was able to give her some clip-on mane and tail extensions to hide her baldness until her mane grows back, but she's still mad at us for what happened the other day." "I am extremely dismayed by that news, my friend." Wind Whistler sighed, staring up at the already darkening sky. "I had hoped that there would be some way we could make it up to her, but I now believe that idea to be of no avail in our current plight." "Awww, don't worry, you two! She'll get over it!" Gusty added, before gazing up at the descending red orb in the west. "Anyway, have any of you seen Fizzy today?" "Yeah, she said she was going busy when I invited her to join us." I explained. "Fizzy told me she wanted to watch that really scary movie Megan had brought over from the human world last week." "That film?" Wind Whistler asked, raising an eyebrow in concern. "Girls, is it really a good idea to let such an immature mare watch such a dark and disturbing piece of cinema this late at night?" "Fizzy's a big girl, Windy. She can handle it." Gusty snorted matter-of-factly. "Besides, it's time that unicorn did some growin' up, anyway!" ... "And so, we conclude our broadcast of the late late late movie "Curse of the Mad Scientist'. Be sure to tune in next week, when we will be showing 'The Manor on Spooky Hill!- MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!" Fizzy stared blankly at the screen before her, unable to tear her bloodshot, twitching eyes away from what she had just witnessed. Gusty had warned her... they had all warned her... not to watch that scary movie Megan had brought over from the other world. But she had... oh, the terrible mistake the little blue unicorn had made in watching it! Now, she lay there, alone on the couch in Dream Castle's den, watching the hands of the ticking clock that sat atop the television cabinet, waiting for whatever might come out of the dark at her! Fizzy had no idea how she was going to get to sleep now... with the images of the cackling mad scientist in his dimly-lit castle burned into her mind. She could still hear his maniacal laughter, still see the evil gleam in his eye as he and his hunchbacked assistant brought their raging monster to life! She had watched in horror at the creature's violent rampage of destruction though the village below the castle, and it had left the innocent little pony traumatized beyond words! Oh, how could she possibly get to sleep now, with those horrible images in her head?There was no way she would be able to close her eyes and dream, after all... that... she... had... seen.... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz..... Lighting cracked across the sky outside, splitting the darkness outside the laboratory's windows. On the interior, tesla coils buzzed and console buttons and monitors blinked on and off, like something on the set of an old black and white horror movie. At the center of the lab, stood a blue pegasus in a white lab coat, with goggles covering her eyes, as she poured a strange liquid between two test tubes, mixing them carefully. "Fizzy, get down here this instant!" Dr. Wind Whistler snapped angrily, adjusting her goggles. "I need your help on my latest experiment!" "Ohhh, yes master!" Fizzy replied, the unicorn hunchback thumping down the steps like an over-sized clod. "Coming master, right away!" "Today, Fizz-igor, is the day we make history!" The maniacal mare held a beaker full of a green liquid aloft. "For within this very vial, is a concoction that will change Ponyland forever!" "Ohhhh, please tell me, master! What is it? What is it?" Fizzy asked eagerly, hopping up and down with one eye half-shut. "Why, it is a magic formula that will turn all the vegetables in Dream Valley into candy. We shall bring all ponies to their hooves though the power of tooth decay!" "Oh, such a brilliant plan, my master!" Fizzy giggled hysterically, hopping up and down. "We shall use your captivating cavities to take over all of Ponyland!" "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!" The two ponies threw their heads back, and laughed maniacally as lighting flashed furiously across the darkened sky outside.... Laughing with fiendish glee in her sleep, the blue unicorn rolled off the couch, and crashed loudly on the ground below. "Owww! Okay, who the heck put that floor there!?" > The Crazy that is Fizzy > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- The Crazy that is Fizzy "Don't worry, Gusty!" I exclaimed, flying up high to catch the ball that my unicorn friend had served my way. "I got it! I got it!" "Oh, yeah? Well, that's what you think, Para-pants!" She teased in a mocking tone. Gusty's horn suddenly lit up, and a strong wind created by her horn suddenly sent the ball flying out of my reach, and far over the net. "Haha! Another point for us!" "That is most incorrect, Gusty." Wind Whistler sighed, sitting on the sidelines, and serving as our game's referee. "You are quite aware that the rules specifically state that you may not engage the ball with unicorn magic." "Yeah, yeah, yeah... I know, Windy, I know!" The angry unicorn grumbled at us, rolling her eyes. "It's not like you haven't told us a million times already!" The three of us were just out in the castle courtyard, enjoying a pleasant game of ponyball, when our dear friend Fizzy came trotting outside, a glazed over look in her twinkling glass eyes. Now, I really didn't think anything looked amiss, so I turned to say hello. "Hey, Fizzy, glad ta see finally decided ta get up!" Gusty burst in, greeting the unicorn before I had a chance to. "Wanna join in on our game? We could form teams!" "Remember everybody... team play is fair play!" Our twinkle eyed friend replied, eye twitching. "And it's only fair to play fair... does that seem fair?" "Fizzy, are you... feeling alright?" I asked her nervously, a little concerned with how odd my friend was acting. "You don't sound too well..." "All's well that end's well! Wanna go take a dip in the well?" A grin spread across the mare's face. "Here, lemme help you!" "Hey, what the-?" Suddenly, I was encased within a large magical bubble, and hurled across the courtyard towards the open well on the other side. The bubble suddenly popped right over top of the well, sending me tumbling down into the water below. "AIEEEEEEE!" *SPLASH!* "Hey Fizzy, why the heck did you throw ol' Paradox there into the water?" Gusty asked in surprise, trying to suppress a smile as she intentionally mispronounced my name. "Sure, I've always kinda thought she was washed up, but still seems kinda harsh." "Harsh? You have some nerve talkin' about harsh, windbag!" Fizzy sneered, her horn starting to glow again. "Maybe it'd sound better if ya blew it out the other end!" "Hey! Why you little-!" Gusty lit her horn, casting a mighty blast of wind at Fizzy to knock her off her feet. But the twinkle-eyed mare was undeterred, as she protected herself in a magic bubble of her own making. She then sealed the hot-tempered white unicorn in another bubble, pushing her up in the air to get blown away by her own wind. "Who-oaahhhh-hhh!" Gusty wailed, as she was sent flying over the castle's outer wall. "Help! Somebody let me outta here!" "The opposition has been neutralized, Dr. Windenstien!" Fizzy giggled, walking over to Wind Whistler. "Everything is ready for you plans for extreme tooth decay!" "Fizzy, what in the world are you-" Wind Whistler stopped, her eyes going wide in realization. "Oh no, you have got to be kidding me!" "Windy, what's going on?" I asked, crawling my way out of the well, my wings too soaked to fly out. "Why the heck is Fizz acting so darn crazy?" "It's that juvenile motion picture from last night. Fizzy is under the misconception that she is a character from the monster film's narrative!" Windy told me, putting her hoof to her forehead in disgust. "Paradise, she's unicorn sleepwalking again! We must endeavor to restore her to a state of conscientiousness expediently!" "Don't talk to that Pegasus, doctor!" Fizzy exclaimed, pushing Wind Whistler away with a magic wall. "She's probably a spy sent by the agents of P.O.N.Y.!" "Uhhhh, you know what, Fizz-igor? You are correct! She is most certainly indeed a spy!" Windy pointed a hoof at me. "Quick, tackle that mare into the well!" "Ohhhh, yes master!" Fizzy galloped towards me, plowing into me and sending both of us tumbling back into the well. "Hiyaaaahhhh!" *SPLASH!* "Huh? Whuh? Paradise, is that you?" Fizzy asked, speaking in her normal voice again. "Why're we floating in this well? Ohhhh, what a totally weird dream I had!" "Ugh, Fizzy... I don't even want to talk about it!" I grumbled, as the two of us crawled back out of the well. But it wasn't even a few minutes after we had emerged, that Fizzy found a pissed-off Gusty waiting for her at the entrance to the courtyard. "Oh, hi Gusty...." Fizzy laughed nervously, as the white unicorn closed in on her with a murderous glare. "You don't look... happy... today... heh..." "GRRAHHHHH!" Gusty roared, her horn and eyes glowing an angry red. "FIZZY, I'M GONNA MURDER YOU!" "OW! OUCH OOHHH! EEEE! EEEEKK! OWWWIEEEE!" Both Windy and I watched on with morbid fascination as the angry Gusty gave our ditzy friend her well-deserved reward. We did stop before she went too far though, and everything was soon straightened out. I did learn that Fizzy's bubbles and magic are far stronger in her sleep than when she is awake, however. And needless to say, we are NOT going to be letting dear sweet ditsy Fizzy even slightly near another horror movie for a very, very long time to come! > Can I just be left alone?! > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Can I just be left alone?! Wind Whistler was a pony of many talents and habits. She liked doing many different things; from hanging out with her friends to play a game, to working in her laboratory, to going on whatever hair-brained adventure the ponies of Dream Valley had gotten themselves into this time. But today, Wind Whistler had just gotten a new book in from Hoofkaido- a rather intellectual tome on eastern pony metaphysics, written by that well-renowned philosopher the mareharishi herself. Windy wanted total silence today, so she could study up and be ready for her philosophical debate over the matter with Galaxy next week. So she had taken off for a secluded corner of the castle, where no pony would be able to bother her. Unfortunately, given her particular group of friends, such seclusion and silence would be a most unlikely scenario. Fascinating, I cannot believe the Ponyrishi used Starswirl's principle of spell reciprocation to argue her point! Wind Whistler thought to herself, nosed buried in the hardbound book as she lay reclining in the large alclove window on the Castle's second floor. personally, I would've used Twilight Sparkle's theory of- "Hey Windy!" Fizzy yelled to her friend from the other end of the hall, a great big goofy grin on her face. "Whatcha doooooin?" "Oh! Salutations, Fizzy." Windy replied, looking up at her friend. "I was just read a book Paradise just got into the castle library, about-" "Awww, it's too nice a day to sit in here and read!" The blue Twinkle eyed pony giggled, tapping the book in a bubble, and floating it above the Pegasus's head out of her reach. "Why don't you come outside with me, and we'll play some tag!" "While I do most certainly appreciate the offer, Fizzy, I currently desire to simply read my tome in peace." Windy replied gabbing after the book several time before zipping up to pluck it out of the air. "So if you could please excuse me for a while..." "Awww, you're to fun!" Fizzy pouted, pushing out her bottom lip before trotting away. Wind Whistler then turned her attention back to her book, but had not even gotten two pages read, before another distraction came galloping in, tears streaming down her face. "Oh Windy, I'm so glad I found you!" Shady sobbed, trotting up and throwing her tear-soaked hooves around her friend. "Something terrible- no awful!- No, HORRIBLE- has happened!" "Oh really, Shady?" Wind Whistler grimaced, glad that she was able to keep herself from expressing her emotions at the drop of a hat. "Please, tell me all about this predicament that is obviously causing you so much distress." "W-well it's a lot of things, really!" The pink earth mare sobbed, wiping her eyes with her hoof. "F-first, I got up out of bad five minutes late this morning, and that's when I knew something must be wrong today! Then, I gave the bushwoolies ice cream and they got brain freeze- oh, I really hope I didn't make them sick!" The earth mare sat down next to the annoyed Pegasus, whining away at her every little problem. "A-and then, I got a soda out of one of the castle's vending machines, and it was five degrees too cold! Ohhhh, I can't believe I'm such a failure!" Windy put her book down, and proceeded to listen to her friend's sobbing and wailing. After nearly two hours of Shady being Shady, Wind Whistler was finally able to get the depressed mare calmed down. "And so Shady, you should not let a few disheartening events throw you into despair." The mare told her, trying to hide her impatience. "You need to find the best in each day, my good Shady, and try to approach the day with a smile." "I-I guess you're right." The earth mare replied with a sigh, before slowly moving to trot away. "Well, I've stood around here and bothered you enough." Genuinely concerned about her friend, Wind Whistler started to get up and follow her, but then thinking the better of it sat back down to read her book again. But less than ten minutes later, yet another annoyance soon reared it's ugly head. "Hey Windy, there ya are!" Gusty bellowed, winking into the room, while levitating a magazine over her head. "I've been lookin' for ya everywhere, ya ain't gonna believe what I found!" "No, Gusty, tell me..." Wind Whistler asked, putting the book held in her wings down, eye twitching. "What is so terribly and amazingly fascinating that you just had go through all the trouble and seek me out and inform me of it?" "I was diggin' around through Firefly's private stuff, an' I found this year's copy of playfilly illustrated, wet coat edition!" The unicorn tomboy giggled, levitating the magazine up in front of Windy's face. "You just gotta see some of these stallions! This one you can even see his-" "First of all, you shouldn't have been scouring through Firefly's private things, even if she a cheap and loose-moraled harlot." Wind Whistler replied, shoving her face deep into her book to hide her deep red blush. "And two, I don't want to see any of that vulgar and demeaning photography, that appeals to the lowest common denominator." Windy fought to keep herself from looking at the magazine again. "Besides, I personally prefer gentlefilly quarterly, which is more high-brow and high class smut that that drivel you are holding." "Awww, you really are no fun, Windy!" Gusty barked. "Ya really need ta put that dumb book down, and do something else!" Gusty lowered her head, creating a strong wind with her horn that sent the book flying from Windy's grasp. It was at this point, that Fizzy came chasing Shady back up the steps. "Aww c'mon, Shady! I'm sorry I made your comb float away in a bubble!" Fizz pleaded, running after her friend as they came to a stop in front of Windy and Gusty. "I'll get it back, I promise!" "No! I'll look even more terrible with my mane a mess like this!" Shady whimpered. "I can't believe how ugly I look!" It only took a moment for Gusty to join in the argument, and soon all three were going at it very loudly in what had once been a tranquil and quiet hallway. Finally fed up with all the chicanery, Wind Whistler finally blew her top. "One day... I just wanted one day away from all the insanity that usually goes on in this castle, and YOU ALL HAD TO RUIN IT FOR ME!" The blue Pegasus snapped, finally getting all of their attention. "I cannot believe that you three couldn't find something to amuse yourselves, even for a few measly hours!" "Huh?" Fizzy inquired, confused at what had just happened. "What?" Shady asked, not sure what was happening either. "Windy, wait!" Gusty started to apologize, realizing they had all gone too far. "We didn't mean ta-" "Don't bother, you have all done quite enough!" Wind Whistler replied curtly, trotting over and picking up her book, before flying out the window. "I think I'll go spend a few hours in the mastifiecent Forest, maybe I can get some peace and quiet there!" "The everfree? No, wait Windy!" Fizzy pleaded, running over to the window. "It's too dangerous for a pony to go there alone!" But the Pegasus was already gone, disappearing into the dark and mysterious forest. > Forest from the Trees > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Forest from the Trees "Windy! Wiiiindy!" Shady called out,shivering from the chilly spring weather. "Ohhhh, Wind Whistler, where are you!?" The poor frightened earth pony continued to trot along, following the trail deeper and deeper into the forest. All around the frightened mare the trees seemed to close in on the unwanted intruder, who had come to the forest to find her angry friend. Shady was now realizing more and more that this had been a bad idea, however, as the entire forest seemed to be alive and watching her. "Windy, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to spoil your book for you!" The pink mare pleaded, hoping her friend was out there, and could hear her. "C'mon, lets get out of here, and go back to Dream Castle where we belong!" The only response to her query, was the lonely hooting of an owl, and several glowing eyes peering out at her from the darkness. "AHHHHHHHH!" The terrified Shady yelled, galloping off into the forest. "WINDY, HELP MEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" ... "Gusty, are you out of your cranial cavity!?" Wind Whistler spat, looking back at the pony trotting beside her. "How could you allow Shady to gallop off into the Mastificent forest all by herself? That location is far too perilous for a mare of her countenance!" "Well, geez, she kinda took off by herself after ya had that big hissy fit!" The white unicorn grumbled, rolling her eyes at her Pegasus friend. "Besides, she never woulda come here if you hadn't said you were coming here first!" "It was just something I yelled in a moment of elevated temper, I didn't think any of you would attempt to actually peruse me on my supposed exodus!" The exasperated Wind Whistler replied. "Actually, I expected this sort of thing from Fizzy. Not our depressed and guilt-ridden friend." "Yeeahhhh, I was kinda keepin' an eye on Fizz for just that reason!" Gusty replied with a nervous laugh. "Didn't expect the scaredy cat ta grow some courage!" "Unexpected events do tend to occur at unexpected times." Wind Whistler agreed with a sigh. "Now, let us attempt to locate our missing companion, before something malicious befalls her person!" The two mares had gone into the forest to find their lost friend, worried when they had discovered she was gone, and had failed to return. But they were not the only ones who had come into the forest that day. For also on the prowl were to human witches; residents of the volcano of gloom, which stood at the edge of Dream Valley. The two ugly sisters were up to their usual hobby- causing problems for the little ponies of Ponyland. "Wow Reeka, I can't believe those ponies were right where Hydia's viewing pool showed us they'd be!" The older and taller sister declared, as the two watched the two mares from behind a bush. "So how are we gonna get em?" "We gotta be clever, Draggle!" The morbidly obese sister declared, stuffing her face with a real worm pie. "It's gonna take the right spell to capture those ponies!" As Gusty and Windy looked around through the trees, the two witches flipped through their spell book, until they saw a spell titled 'deep pit with crocodiles' written on it. Looking first at the page, then back at each other with evil glares, the two witches began to chant the words. "With this curse, that will never fail or miss," The two witches spoke in unison, the book glowing in their hands. "beneath our victim's feet, create an abyss!" Suddenly... a giant, gaping hole opened in front of the two ponies, with crocodiles jumping and snapping in the pit. Reeka and Draggle stared eagerly, waiting for the pain and screaming. But to their shock, the two mares trotted right over the gap, like it wasn't even there! "Ya know, Windy? This whole thing with Shady has me feeling really guilty." Gusty admitted, shaking her head. "Kind of like the ground has dropped out from under me." "Yes, I know exactly what point you are elaborating on." The Pegasus agreed with a sigh. "It makes a pony feel like she is walking over a large percipience with a surface beneath her." The two ponies trotted onward, leaving the dumbfounded witches behind them. Rushing over to the hole, the surprised witches knelt down, and stared into the pit. "I don't believe it!" Reeka exclaimed. "They just walked right over it, as if it weren't even there!" "They should be alligator chow by now!" Draggle agreed, peering down into the abyss. "Why didn't the spell work?" The witches were so busy gazing down into the water filled pit, that they failed to notice the two ponies sneak up behind them, nod towards each other, then promptly turn around and kick the two doofuses into the hole they themselves had created. "AIEEEEEEEEEE!" "ARGAHHHHH!" "RAAAR!" *CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP*! "OW! GET YOUR TEETH OFF ME, YOU STUPID GATOR!" "THAT WAS MY HAND!" "THAT WAS MY FACE!" "MAMA-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" "Gee, Windy... I can't believe those two witches didn't figure out we knew they were there!" Gusty said with a chuckle, as they trotted away. "And anyways, I wonder why they their spell didn't work when we walked over the hole?" "It's actually simplicity itself, my good Gusty. Do you not recall that their incantation specifically stated 'beneath their feet?" Windy looked down at their hooves. "The linguistic nuances of a spell must be spoken at their exact meaning. Proof once again that witches are the most mentally incompetent creatures in all of Ponyland!" > A Fool's Act > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- A Fool's Act "Wow, can you believe how big this forest is, Windy?" Gusty asked, looking around at the endless sea of trees that surrounded her and her friend. "Do ya really think we can find Shady out here?" "I believe it is highly likely, my good Gusty, logic dictates that this is the place that Shady would have come looking for me." The blue Pegasus replied, turning her head to look back at her companion. "However, it would be much easier to do so if were to curtail your pointless elaborations on trivial matters." "I don't know what ya just said, Windy, but I don't really think ya can use logic ta figure out what Shady's gonna do next." Gusty replied with a chuckle, much to Wind Whistler's annoyance. "That idea's so dumb, it sounds like somethin' Fizz would come up with!" "You think my ideas are foolish? What about some of your epiphanies?" Her companion scoffed. "Such as the time Fizzy asked for a bedtime story, and you gave her my copy of the Pona sutra?" "Hey, I sure didn't hear Salty complanin' about that one!" The unicorn replied with a laugh. "But I don't really think ya can compare the stuff I do with Fizzy's goofiness. That mare's as dumb as a bowl of rice krispies... in fact, she's the only unicorn I know who actually talks back to her rice krispies after she pours milk on them!" "Yes, your actions can be even more foolish and destructive than Fizzy's!" Wind Whistler snapped back, clearly irritated by her friend's words. "And it's worse for you, Gusty, because a unicorn of your age and maturity should know better!" "Oh yeah? You think I do stuff as dumb as Fizzy?" The hot tampered unicorn asked, walking over to a patch of with some oddly-colored shrubs with blue leaves. "Here, I'll show you I can be even stupider than that bubblehead!" Before Wind Whistler had a chance to react, Gusty immediately jumped on the weird-looking shrubs, and began scarfing them down. "Om nom nom nom nom nom....... BURRRRPPP!" "Gusty, no! Don't eat strange shrubs off of the ground that you know nothing about!" She ran over to her friend in a panic. "You have no idea what they could do to you!" The unicorn mare's eyes suddenly stood straight up, then she began to cough and spit as purple swirls began to appear in her eyes. She immediately collapsed to the ground, her whole body twitching and jerking as she lay there. "Gusty! Oh no!" The terrified Wind Whistler exclaimed, standing worriedly over her unconscious companion. "Are you in satisfactory condition?" The white unicorn's eyes slowly opened, and she stared up at her Pegasus friend with a faraway, glazed over look in her eyes. "Oh, Wind Whistlar... I am, like, so totally happy to see you." The unicorn leaped back to her hooves. "What are we doing in this like, totally dingy old place, it looks so utterly and totally tacky!" "G-gusty?! What has happened to you?!" Wind Whistler asked in shock. "You sound as if you had been transformed into a complete and utter bimbo!" "I like, soooooo totally have no Idea what you're talking about, but what-evar!" The two mares suddenly heard a rustling in the leaves, and looked over to see a pink mare with a sunglasses cutie mark step out of the foliage. "Shady, there you are! Ohmygawd, we were, like, so totally worried about you and stuff! I'm soooo happy to see you're, like, okay!" "Like, totally!" Shady replied, rushing up and hugging her friend tightly. "I am so totally, like, done with this creepy and icky place! I, like, so totally don't remember why I came here, anyway!" "Egads! Even Shady is beset by this terrible malady!" The now even-more-worried Pegasus exclaimed, looking back and forth between her two friends. "I surmise that the cause of this malady is some external force, no doubt tied to the unusual environ we are currently in." She rubbed her chin thoughtfully with her hoof. "Logic dictates that I ascertain the source of your odd behavior, so that a remedy might be created!" "We like, should so totally get outta here, and get back ta Dream Castle!" Gusty giggled, rolling her eyes. "I wanna get some new hoof polish, and so totally get my hair done!" "That would be, like, sooo totally rad!" Shady agreed, staring at her friend and smiling like a goofy ditz. "Then we can, like, get up in front of the castle, and sing karaoke! That was be so totally awesooooome!" "Hmmmm, these plants Gusty was nibbling on... it appears there were some others that have been nibbled on, as well." Wind Whistler noted, trying to ignore her friend's bubble-headed ramblings. "I hypothesize that Shady must have chewed on these as well, and now has turned into a buxom beach bimbo, much like the unfortunate Gusty." She looked down, and began to tear pieces of the plant out of the ground with her wings. "I must take some samples of this back to the lab, so that I may synthesize an antidote." But as she collected the samples of the small plant, Wind Whistler glanced up at her two giggling friends. Sure, there were now dim-witted, she realized, but they were also happy; Gusty was no longer grouching like a savage animal, and Shady was no longer afraid of her own shadow. Thoughts began to turn over and over in the Pegasus genius's head, as she remembered a younger Wind Whistler- a carefree, air headed teenager from before she got the mind boost. A Pegasus girl who didn't get mocked for not having any feelings, and who was not distanced from her friends emotionally because of their differences. As Wind Whistler looked down at the plant in her hoof, she thought about these things very, very carefully.... > Like, Whatevar! > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Like, Whatevar! "Wind Whistler... i-is that you?" Paradise asked in disbelief. "Girls, what in the world has happened to you?!" "Awww, knock it off, Paradise! We are so, like, tired of hearing ya whine about nothing!" Windy snorted, as the other two stood behind her and giggled. "Why do ya forget about yer lame-o questions, and totally join us for a hooficure!" The white Pegasus shook her head in disbelief, only able to stand there and watch as the trio of airheads trotted away from her. She simply couldn't believe her eyes when these three returned from the mastificent forest, complete with bubbly personalities, and enough brains between the three of them to fill a thimble. She could only watch in shock as the ponies she thought she knew act like total goofballs. "Wow, these main curlers are in waaaaay too tight!" Shady called out, when they were sitting under the dyers at the salon. "I think it's, like cutting off the blood flow to my brain!" "Awww, don't be so silly, girlfriend!" Gusty replied, chewing on a wad of gum. "We don't, like have any brains ta cut off the oxygen to!" After Fifi had finished with their manes, they all came trotting out, and Paradise's eyes nearly bulged out of her head. Big and curly 80's, coats died in wild colors, big hoop earrings, and heavy doses of makeup and mascara smothering their faces! The other ponies did a double take as the trio passed by, uncertain if they were even looking at the three mares they knew or not. "Like, can you believe Nightshade's newest album? So totally rad, man!" Wind Whistler giggled, singing the lyrics in her sweet voice. "I'm good! I'm good! I'm really really good!" "Jeah, he was so hawt up there on stage!" Gusty agreed, blowing a bubble with the gum she was chewing on. "But can you believe the outfits his backup singers were wearing? Soooo tacky!" "You know... we could, like, do a sooooo much better job singing up there on stage then those cheap dime store floozies!" Shady interjected, suddenly getting an idea. "It would be sooo amazing being up on stage with a cutie like Nightshade!" "Hey, isn't he holding a concert at the grand opening of the Ponyville amusement park next week?" Gusty asked, hopping up and down excitedly. "We could, like, so totally get on stage, and show Nightshade who the hottest backup singers in Ponyland are!" "Girls, no offense.... but you two, like, totally can't hold a candle ta me, when it comes to singing!" The blue Pegasus shook her head. "Oh, that's like, totally okay! We can just sing will quietly, and let you, like, carry us!" Shady replied. "But we'd better, like, go to Bright Valley, and get our manes and hooves done tomorrow!" "But Shady, we like, just had makeovers!" Wind Whistler added, looking over their new manes and hairdos. "Why would we, like, need them again so quick?" "Ewwww, stop thinking, Windy! You're, like, making my head hurt!" Gusty grumbled, putting a hoof on her head. "Leave the thinking to a smart pony, like Fizzy!" The three mares then trot away, leaving a stupefied Paradise behind them. "I-I can't believe this! It's like the frazit fiasco all over again!" The white mare moaned sadly, shaking her head. "But this time, everybody's been turned into a bubbly bimbo!" But when the mare looked to the ground, and noticed a part of a plant with several blue leaves lying on the ground. Paradise realized that it must have fallen out of Wind Whistler's saddle bag, and trotted up to get a closer look at the odd vine. "Poison Joke!?! Of course! It all makes sense now!" The white Pegasus exclaimed, recognizing the plant from her readings. "They must've come into contact with this stuff in the mastificent forest!" Covering her wings in a layer of cloth to prevent contact, Paradise scooped the piece of plant material into a small plastic bag, and trotted down the hallway. "I need to find some help, and see if we can get this whole mess straightened out!" The mare looked desperately around the castle, but could find no trace of Twilight, Galaxy, or Magic Star (not that Paradise was sure the lich mare would want to help, anyway). In her frantic search through all the passageways and corridors, Paradise finally ran across Fizzy, the twinkle-eyed pony who was already a natural bubble-brain, on her own. "Hey Paradise, what's up?" The blue unicorn giggled, watching the other pony run back and forth in a hurry. "You playing hide and seek or something? Ohhh wait, can I be it?" "Not now, Fizzy! Three of our friends are under an enchantment!" Paradise exclaimed, holding the bag with the poison joke in her wing. "I need to find one of the castle's smart unicorns to help me!" But Paradise had not been paying attention to what was going on around her, her head turning in every direction as she looked for help. It was then to her horror, that she looked back and found the bag in her hoof open, and the plant inside gone! "Mmmmmm, Paradise!" Fizzy proclaimed, happily munching on the blue-leaved plant. "This plant you got tastes really, really good!" "No, Fizzy don't eat that!" Paradise pleaded, shaking the mare as she swallowed the poison joke. "You'll get so dumb, you'll forget to breath!" The unicorn mare's head fell back, and her her body began to twitch and shake. She collapsed backward after a few minutes, and her crystal eyes rolled back into her head. "Fizzy, are you okay?" Paradise asked in a panic, picking her friend up off the castle floor. "Speak to me, please!" "But of course, my good Paradise!" Fizzy replied, suddenly pulling a pair of glasses out of nowhere. "On what subject, study, or topic would you care to converse?" "Oh great B'zekre!" Paradise fell back, fainting in shock from what had just come out of Fizzy's mouth. > Crazy Cure! > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Crazy Cure! "Are you sure the mixture's gonna work, Fizzy?" Paradise asked, as she handed another beaker full of bubbling liquid to the now-genius unicorn. "If we don't get this right, we might never get our friends back to normal!" "Calm yourself, my good Paradise!" Fizzy replied reassuringly, adjusting her glasses. "This concoction will bring our friends back to their normal selves, working as a cure to their present malady." Paradise stared down into the cauldron, as Fizzy poured the finished chemical inside. The potion began to bubble and roil, causing the white Pegasus to jump back in fright. "I still can't believe you made this gunk up, even with your enhanced intelligence." Paradise told her, taking a step back from the cauldron. "Unicorns aren't exactly known for their potion-making abilities." "Zigzag made a recipe up for Wind Whistler, before she went on a journey home." The unicorn gestured to a scrap of paper on a nearby table. "One dip in this stuff, and our dear friends shall be returned to their former selves!" "Well, that'll be good... I'm tried of being kept awake all night by three gossiping goofballs in the room down the hall." Paradise agreed. "But how are we going to get those prissy ponies into this vat of vile? It doesn't exactly look very appealing to me...." "Yo, Fizzy! What up, girlfriend?" Wind Whistler called out, as she and the other two ponies trotted in to the room. "We like, soooo totally heard you had that bubble bath ready for us, I soooo totally can't wait!" "Yeah, this is, like, soooo gonna do wonders for our mane and tailor our manes and tails!" Gusty looked into the cauldron, with the bubbling and simmering liquid. "This stuff looks really icky, but I've heard that that, like, soooo totally makes it sooo much better for your coat!" "Fer shure!" Shady agreed, jumping into the cauldron hooves first. "So what are we waiting for, girls? Let's, like get our selves totally pretty!" "LIKE, AWESOME!" The other two agreed in unison, as they dove in after her. Everything seemed to be normal at first, as the three airheads continued to gossip and giggle. But it wasn't long, Paradise noticed, before something odd began to happen between the three ponies. "Heyyyy.... Shady, get you hoof out of my face!" Gusty growled, narrowing her eyes at the earth mare. "Why don't you stay on your own side of the bath?" "Huh? Oh, Gusty, I'm so sorry!" The other mare cried out, a look of anguished guilt washing over her face. "I'm such a FAILURE for even being in here!" "Would you two childish equines stop acting like immature brats?" Wind Whistler asked, scowling at the other two ponies. "You are most certainly causing my irritation levels... to...rise...." Wind Whistler's eyes suddenly went wide, and she then turned around to stare at Paradise and Fizzy. A look of what Paradise swore was hurt and betrayal seemed to cross her face for a moment, before her usual logical demeanor returned once more. "Ah, greetings Paradise!" The blue mare greeted her, hopping out of the tub. "I am pleased to see your countenance again, being of my normal mental status once again." "Windy!" The White Pegasus squeed, hugging the other mare in her wings tightly. "It's so good to have you back!" "Indeed!" The other Pegasus agreed, nodding. "I am eternally grateful to no longer be trapped in the back of that dim-witted imbecile's mind, watching her put on garish clothing and act utterly ridiculous!" The blue Pegasus snorted angrily. "Oh, how foolish I was to handle that poison joke with my uncovered wings!" "Hey, get off me, ya stupid head!" Gusty yelled, struggling against Shady in the tub. "I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm trying!" Shady wailed, trying to push away from the other mare. The two of them splashed around in the cauldron, before finally knocking the whole vat all over the floor of Windy's laboratory. Both Paradise and Wind Whistler laughed hysterically as the two other soaked mares picked themselves up off the floor. "Wow, you two are all washed up!" Paradise grinned, as her friends shook the goop out of their manes. "Okay Fizzy, now it's your turn!" But when the mares turned around, there was no trace of their unicorn friend. "Uhhhh, Fizzy?" Paradise asked, looking around in a confused manner. "Fizz, are you there?" "I hypothesize that Fizzy had absconded from her current location." Windy told her, shaking her head. "So that she would not have to endure the personality-restoring effects of the cure." "But... why in the world would she do that?" The white Pegasus asked, surprised at her friend's actions. "Would you wanna go back to being an idiot, after being really really smart?" Gusty asked sarcastically, raising an eyebrow. "I know I wouldn't!" "Oh no! This is terrible!" Shady added, putting her hooves up to her mouth. "We gotta go and find her!" "Didn't we start this whole thing with that bubbly airhead missing?" Gusty growled, rolling her eyes in annoyance. "Fine, lets go find the girl before she does something stupid- er, too smart!" "I can't believe we're saying that about Fizz!" Paradise giggled, shaking her head. The four ponies raced out of the laboratory, dead set upon finding their missing friend. But after they had left, a confused unicorn mare- who had been splashed by the cauldron when it overflowed- emerged from a pile of junk that had fallen over in the corner in all of the commotion. "Wind Whistler? Paradise? Where is everybody?" Fizzy asked, looking around for her friends. "Oh, we must be playing hide and go seek! I know, I'll go hide in Paradise's room! And I'm sure she won't mind if I get into her chocolate supply, hee hee..." > Close Encounters of the Fizzy Kind! > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Close Encounters of the Fizzy Kind! As per usual with this crazy crew, everything soon returned to normal, as Fizzy returned to normal after a bath in the poison joke. And now, we look back towards an incident where this mare's silly nature, along with some extremely odd help from two of my other very dear friends, saved all of Ponyland from a very bizarre form of weirdness... "Wow, those stars up there look really incredible!" Fizzy Exclaimed, staring up at the endless sky in wonder. "It's such a shame the other girls couldn't join me for this!" The stars overhead were spread across the sky, in an endless tapestry of tiny lights. The little blue unicorn simply couldn't believe how many stars there were out there, in great numbers to vast for one mere pony to count. The mare was currently standing on the roof of one of the castle's turrets, looking up at the endless expanse above her, and wondering what was out there. "Gee, I wonder if Paradise is right, and there are other ponies out there in the cosmos somewhere?" Fizzy said, her twinkle eyes blinking in wonder as she stared skyward. "But Wind Whistler says that the chances of there actually being aliens are like a zillion to one. I wonder which one of them is right?" As if in answer to her question, a strange humming sound came from the skies above. Suddenly, several multicolored flashing lights filled the sky over Dream Castle, and a strange purple saucer-shaped about the size of a building came swooping down upon the spot where the mare was standing, and hovered in the air above her. "Ohhh, it's so shiny!" The unicorn giggled, looking up at the sight of the strange U.F.O. "I wonder what they want?" "Fizzy, there you are! We were looking for you!" Gusty exclaimed, as she and Wind Whistler came out of a door onto the roof. "We wanted to- HOLY %$#! WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?!" "Remarkable! Gusty, I do believe that we are witnessing a close encounter of the third kind!" Wind Whistler exclaimed, looking up at the ship in one of her rare moments of awe. "This proves the long held hypothesis that extraterrestrial life does indeed exist on worlds other that equinia and earth!" As if on cue, a bright yellow light shot out of the saucer, and beamed three surprised mare up into the vessel. "Whee, this is gonna be so much fun!" Fizzy exclaimed, as the light lifted her high into the air. "I always wanted to go to mars!" "Hey! Put me down, ya stupid aliens!" Gusty yelled angrily, putting her hooves into a fighting stance as she was picked up. "Or I'll clobber ya, real good!" "This is a historic event, girls!" Wind Whistler commented, trying to keep a cool exterior so as not to panic the other two. "Not only will we become the first ponies to talk to space creatures, but I might actually encounter beings who equal me on an intellectual level!" The three ponies were pulled up into the belly of the vessel, the door slid shut, and the craft sped off back into the heavens. The trio then found themselves in a bright silver chamber, filled with blinking lights and computer-like surfaces making weird 'beep' and boop' noises. "Gosh, Windy." Fizzy asked curiously. "What do you think they're going to do with us?" "I am not certain, Fizzy." Wind Whistler replied, examining the flashing consoles all around the room. "But we must be cautious until we ascertain wither their intent is hostile or not." Suddenly, three metal tables rose up from the floor beneath the mares, catching them by surprise. metal manacles snapped around their hooves, restraining them to the examination tables. "Argh!" Gusty exclaimed, struggling against the restraints. "Guys, I can't break free!" "Yes, I do believe we can now definitely conclude their intent is hostile. "Wind Whistler admitted, already looking at her restraints for any signs of flaws in the design that would aid in an escape. "Ohh, it looks like they wanna make us comfortable!" Fizzy giggled. "I hope they have an in-flight movie!" Just then, a door slid open on the far side of the room, and in walked two of the strangest mares the trio had ever seen. Their bodies were clear and translucent, similar to the crystal ponies, but they looked as is a thousand stars glowed from within their bodies. The stars seemed to shift and glow as the mares walked around the room, giving their bodies an otherworldly quality. "Ah, Captain Star Hopper, it seems we have captured some worthy test subjects." The translucent red earth mare with the blue mane exclaimed, picking up a strange looking tool with a glowing end in her hoof. "Shall we begin our tests?" "Indeed, Doctor Stardancer." The green unicorn with the blonde mane replied. "They should provide more useful information than the strange singing one with the sideburns we picked up last time." "Ohhh, neat! They're gonna to give us a checkup!" Fizzy smiled, opening her mouth wide. "Maybe they can do something about that nasty tooth that's been bothering me!" "Windy, hurry up and do something!" Gusty wailed, looking at the alien ponies with their bizarre instruments. "I don't wanna get flank probed by these wierdoes!" "Don't worry, girls!" Wind Whistler exclaimed, as the two otherworldly ponies drew near. "I am fairly certain I formulate a strategy in order to get us out of this mess!" > Space Cases > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Ahhhh, Fizzy! We gotta get out of here!" Gusty wailed, looking around at the vessel they were trapped on. "I don't wanna end up as one's of their weirdo experiences!" The two aliens began looking over several instruments on a nearby table, some that looked like they went into some very disturbing places on the ponies. "These mares will be perfect for our plans." Doctor Stardancer declared, holding a strange-looking cutting tool with a light on the end over Fizzy. "We must learn all we can from them." "Be sure to get some samples before we are done." Captain Star Hopper agreed, holding a pocket buzz saw near Gusty's face. "And leave the subjects intact enough for further experimentation when we get home." As the two aliens hovered over those two menacingly, the blue Pegasus next to them managed to get a micro-blowtorch out of her saddlebag with her wing, and burned through the straps holding her down. Slipping off to a nearby ventilation shaft, Wind Whistler quietly got a screwdriver out of her bag, and removed the screws from the hatch. She quickly flapped up and slipped inside the air ducts, slamming the hinged hatch shut behind her as she went. "These extraterrestrials much be especially incompetent, they didn't even notice one of their prisoners had absconded from the chamber." Wind Whistler said in surprise, scuttling away down the shaft. "I believe I am forming a hypothesis that, despite their apparently highly advanced society and achievement, our otherworldly captors don't seem to be highly intelligent or perceptive. I must test this hypothesis further, as I believe my friends are more than able to take care of themselves." Wind Whistler was indeed correct, as the two mares were already making life miserable for the two aliens. As Stardancer came within a few inches of Gusty's muzzle, and the unicorn mare turned her horn towards her attacker. "Oh no, you ain't gonna dissect me!" The unicorn pony's horn began to glow. Gusty suddenly blasted the alien pony away with a concentrated blast of wind, blasting Stardancer against the wall behind her. "Fizzy, look out, she's gonna let you have it!" "Hee hee, I'm sorry, but I really don't have time to play spaceman with you!" The mare giggled, creating a large bubble with her horn. She trapped Star Hopper inside of the bubble, causing the Sparkle pony to float up to the ceiling. "C'mon Gusty, it's time to go!" The other unicorn nodded, and the two winked out of their restraints, and went running towards the exit. The metal doors slid open, and the two ponies galloped out into the saucer's passageway. Behind them, Stardancer popped the bubble trapping her captain. "This is unacceptable! We cannot let the test subjects escape!" "Affirmative, this must be remedied!" Star Hopper snorted. Using her horn, the alien unicorn hit a button on the wall. "Attention security detail! We have prisoners loose on the vessel! Send in the clones! I repeat, send in the clones!" Gusty and Fizzy were frantically galloping down the hallway, with lights and alarms sounding all over the ship. Soon, doors began opening on all sides, and the aliens guards began pouring out. The two mares stopped dead in their tracks, not sure wither to run in terror, or burst out laughing. "Oh, you have GOT to be kidding me!" Gusty sputtered in disbelief. "This can't be happening!" "Ohhhh, alien Nightshade impersonators!" Fizzy giggled. "These aliens must read the tabloids, too!" White sequin jumpsuits, pompadours, guitars and sideburns.... an army of the earth stallions that looked exactly like the pony equivalent on Elvis stood before them, staring the two dumbfounded mares down. "Whoaaaa mercy, lets get these purty little fillies!" One of them declared, slicking back his pompadour with a comb in his hoof. "Uh hunh huh!" "Okay, that does it! These aliens are insane!" Gusty snorted, stopping and sitting down in the exact spot in disgust. " I can't even take em as a serious threat anymore! All right, you Nightshade wannabees! Do your worst!" "Ummm, Gusty...?" Fizzy muttered nervously, taking a step back. "I don't think that's such a good idea...." "You ain't nothin' but a pony!" All of the stallions started to sing at once, strumming their guitars with their hooves. "Whinnying all the time!" Their singing was terrible... so, terrible, in fact, that the two mares collapsed in pain, clutching their ears as they writhed in agony on the cold metal floor. Fizzy and Gusty were powerless before the noise pollution that was the clone's music, as the two aliens came trotting out of the examination room. "So these two thought they could escape us?" Stardancer asked mockingly, looking down at the two helpless mares. "They shall pay dearly for their attempted escape!" "Clones, get these two back to the examination table!" Star Hopper narrowed her eyes. "I believe it is time that we send a probe to the neither regions." But before the Nightshades could move, the ship suddenly began spinning and turning and jolting about. All of the ponies in the hallway were knocked to the ground, leaving Fizzy and Gusty hanging on for dear life. On the ship's deck, a blue mare stood next to two alien pilots she had knocked out, pulling levers and pressing buttons as she experimented with the ship's controls. "Hmm, intriguing... these controls seem really simple." Wind Whistler commented, taking control of the stick on the main console. "I believe I can get us back to Dream Castle in no time." She played with even more of the controls, as the ship continued to spin wildly through the blackness of space... > Alienated > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "So let me get this straight..." Queen Majesty asked, raising an eyebrow at the two alien ponies in front of her. "You two are Sparkle ponies, a type of magical ponies from a distant land. And you decided to come down here to our kingdom, ponynap three of my subjects, and run them through ridiculous scenarios, in order to carry out a senior prank?!" "That is correct, your highness, we meant no harm to any of the three mares." Star Hopper told her, standing before the monarch's throne. "It is a common tradition for ponies from our world to come and beam up equines from your world and give them a bit of a bit of a scare." "So that's why you hit us with those Nightshade clones, and all that wackiness on board the ship." Gusty snorted, trying to stifle a laugh. "No wonder we couldn't take any of you seriously!" "Yeah, that was a really fun game!" Fizzy giggled, a deep grin across her face. "I think your little prank stuff is just as much fun as Surprise's crazy jokes!" "Those were all special effects... smoke and mirrors that were part of the prank against you and your friends." Stardancer admitted guiltily. "We had intended to return all of you to the castle after we had thoroughly scared you silly. But the highly intelligent mare hijacked our ship, and ended up taking us for a ride." "I am sorry that I wrecked your vessel beyond repair, good ladies, but I thought we were in dire peril." Wind Whistler apologized, looking out the window at the ship that had crashed in the castle courtyard. "I don't believe I can repair the vessel, as it is far too damaged for any sort of reconstruction attempt." "Oh no, that was my mom's car!" Star Hopper wailed, shaking her head with worry. "Now how are we going to get home?!" "Considering what your mom will do to us, do we really want to?" Stardancer asked, in a worried tone. "I'd much rather stay here, and hang out in Ponyland, rather than pony up and go back to face the music for our screw up!" "I'm sorry we messed things up for you, Sparkle Ponies!" Fizzy said apologetically, thinking for a minute. "Hey, I got an idea! Why don't you and your friends stay here?" "I don't know... I'll have to speak to Sun Spot, Napper and Twinkler." Star Hopper noted, speaking of the other three ponies who had been on the saucer when it crashed. "But I don't think they would have a problem with colonizing Ponyland." "I really do not believe that is... the best way to put it, exactly." Wind Whistler added nervously, now a little uncertain at their guests. "We don't mind you staying in our country or habitat, but your language indicates supplanting and replacement." "Aw, no man. We have no desire to invade or conquer you." Star Hopper laughed, her body twinkling of the castle's firelight. "Besides, considering how juiced your magic is, I really don't think our herd could conquer yours if we tried." "Don't you have really advanced tech aboard your saucer?" Gusty asked, confused. "That looked really sci-fi-ish in there." "Huh? Nah, that was all magic, man." Stardancer told them with a laugh. "Star Hopper was keeping the illusions and the saucer going with her horn, while we had you runnin' scared- until you kicked our flanks, that is." "Sparkle ponies, you are more than welcome to stay in Ponyland...in fact, I think there might be a place for you in the settlements of the north." Majesty told them, contemplating for a moment. "I'll send a few letters to the rulers of the Snow Ponies and Bright Valley, and we'll see what we can do." "I gotta ask one thing, why did you act like silly sci-fi aliens when we met you?" Fizzy asked in confusion. "I mean, how did you even know about night shade, and all that stuff?" "We saw those things on TV broadcasts out of Bright Valley, and copied what the actors on screen did." Stardancer shrugged. "We thought that's what Ponyland ponies expected out of space aliens." "Well, at least you weren't really tryin' ta probe us or anything, that kinda a relief!" Gusty snorted, trotting out of the throne room. "Now why don't you two come with me? I'll take ya over ta the Satin Slipper, an' I'll show ya some ice cream that's outta this world!" "Awesome!" Star hopper agreed, as she trotted out of the room. "I always love ice cream!" "Hey, wait for me!" Fizzy protested. "I'm the one who works at the slipper, ya know!" "Then take me to your ice cream, earth unicorn!" Stardancer told her in a mock alien voice, chasing Fizzy out of the room. "We require loads of your chocolatey goodness!" "Well, I am glad we got that whole thing resolved, now all we have to do is get that smashed saucer out of the courtyard." Majesty sighed, reclining in her throne, and rubbing her temples with her hoof. "Just one thing, Wind Whistler... how did you know that the Sparkle ponies weren't really aliens at all?" "Quite simple, Queen Majesty, there was one little question that bothered me from the moment they first showed up." Wind Whistler explained, looking up at the throne. "Why would any actually intelligent life want to visit here?" > Wind Whistler; Origins > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Hellooooo, my fellow equines of the pony variety! My name's Cuddles- Dream Valley's resident counselor, helping ponies work through the problems that bother them! I'm here to cheer up any stallion that's sad, and I love to give a smile to any mare with a frown! My special talent is making ponies who are down feel better, and I helping my fellow equines live in a world of rainbow, laughter, and sunshine! It is my sworn duty to help everybody who is in Dream Valley and depressed find their happy place. (Except for Surprise, that mare was born in her happy place, and I don't think she's even CAPABLE of leaving there!) Yes, I make it my mission to sit down, and talk out any problems the ponies under my care may have. Now, most ponies problems are simple; a little self esteem message to an under-confident Sweet Stuff here, a message to slow down and enjoy life for Whizzer there. Fizzy hardy ever needs my help to feel good about life, while Sparkler is virtually always in my office for help with her drinking problem. I've encountered all kinds in my line of work, but... there are those oddball cases that really really do stick out in my memory. One really interesting case comes to mind right now, of a certain Genius pony.... "Miss Cuddles? Are you present at this time and place?" Wind Whistler asked me, sticking her head through the door into my office. "I was hoping to converse with you on a matter of importance to my emotional well-being." "Of course, Windy! I always have time for one of my pony friends!" I gesture with my hoof for her to come in and sit down. "Although, I would really like to ask you to use normal speech when speaking to me, 'dumb it down' for me, if you will." "Of...course... Miss Cuddles, I shall endeavor- er, I'll try to tell you what's bothering me." She struggles to say, lying down on the couch on the far side of my room. "This is something I started to think about recently, and I won't be able to put it out of my mind until I sort it out." "All right then... why don't you tell me what's on your mind?" I ask, sitting down on my chair and picking up my notebook and pen in my hooves. "Well... you know that a cutie mark is a symbol of destiny, right? It's the thing that symbolizes a pony's special talent, and tells them who they are?" She looked up as the ceiling, lost in her own thoughts. "Well, the whole recent fiasco with the poison joke, it got me thinking... I was still in there when that air headed personality was in control, and I saw how good she was at singing, and how happy her singing made the other ponies in the castle. The goofy me was a fake one, and would have eventually faded anyway. But it's left me with a haunted feeling, that I'm not really a true pony like my contemporaries- er, my friends." "So you're worried the fake you is the you were supposed to be?" I speculate, writing on my clipboard. "You feel that your present life is some kind of mistake, or error?" "This isn't the pony I was supposed to be, Cuddles. My name and cutie mark indicate a profession involving musical vocalizations, not the superior intellect that I-" She stopped herself, slapping her hoof against her face. "You see there?! I can't even speak a few sentences without breaking into techno-jargon and words so big most of my friends don't even understand them!" "You feel your intelligence has set you off your intended destiny, and corrupted what fate had in store for you?" I ask her, trying to get Wind Whistler to carry this thought to it's logical conclusion. "Are you truly unhappy with what your life has been, since the gizmonks altered your mind?" "Damn it, Cuddles! You can't even begin to understand what those primordial brutes did to me!" Whistler snorted in anger, slamming one of her hooves into my wall. "They tore my mind inside out, they took me apart piece by piece, and put me back together just to see what would happen when they did it! I was supposed to a singer, an entertainer! And sure, I can still sing beautifully. But I don't really enjoy it, as much as I enjoy working in my laboratory, or reading highly intellectual texts! I can't even relate to my friends and family. So I esquire to you, my good counselor, is this the pony I am supposed to be? Is it?!" I do not have a chance to answer, as Fizzy comes running in, and has Wind Whistler rush away to help with a typical Dream Valley Crisis involving a witch turning the trees in the forest into cheese fondue. I was left to contemplate what I would tell that mare when she came back. Opening my old case work files, I come across notes collected from a destroyed Gizmonk lab up north, the contents are about their abduction of two of our Dream Valley ponies about a decade back. Re-reading these old files, I cannot help but notice the contents are ... disturbing to say the least; Gizmonk ministry of science- Dr. Munka Spanka, head researcher, biology division; Report 2819: Work on our new neural enhancement treatments go well, the animal test subjects are showing increased cognitive and motor skills when run through our battery of tests. New equine test subjects , brought in by well-paid goblin mercenaries, should be ample replacements for previous test subjects who did not survive electroshock treatment portion of testing. Subject #19, the pink one with sunglasses icon is bright and cheerful, asking too many questions, showing a high level of curiosity. I am hopeful treatments will be especially beneficial with this one. The blue winged one, subject #86, is outgoing and seems to has a musical inclination, constantly singing to keep the other equines’ spirits up. It is understandable why some think these 'ponies' are actually intelligent, as interactions with these simple beasts an leave a misleading impression. Will recommend that researchers are briefed on the natures of equine test subjects. Report 2821: Tests have proceeded well over the past several months, equines are responding well to psychotropic drugs and neural stimulation surgeries. Seven of our subjects have died from our experiments, one throwing herself against the bars until she caused sufficient head trauma to terminate her life functions. Subject# 19 is showing signs of trauma from reconditioning exercises; recommend upping the voltage on the platforms in the maze we have her run. Subject #86 is growing more sullen and insular, and a change is occurring in her demeanor that is cause for concern. Of particular note is how the subjects continue to rant about nonsense such as 'magic' and 'friendship', absurd notions that are impediments to reason and progress. Recommend further increase in morphine doses to quiet equines when the young, impressionable interns are around. We can't have these ideas getting into the youth's heads. Report 2823: Only two of our subjects remain alive, the now entirely docile subject #19, and the now enigmatic subject #86. Subject has ceased to mourn the deaths of her companions, unlike the constantly weeping subject #19, and has instead become more inquisitive about us and our procedures, showing the possibly hopeful signs of intelligence we are seeking. The autopsies of their deceased companion reveal further potential for neurological stimulation and growth- I almost regret using the last living specimen besides these two to be used in an organ transplant experiment that terminated his life functions- an incident that tells me we need to sound proof the walls of laboratory six in order to muffle subject's screaming. No.#86, the one with the odd, whistle shaped icons on her flank, may be our best bet for salvaging our experimentations. Tomorrow I will be administering a drug treatment to destroy the part of her brain associated with primitive emotional reflexes. Report 2824: It is far worse than I feared, subject #86 has gone out of control! She had us fooled all along, slowly learning about our facility and it's workings, all the while playing 'dumb' to meet our expectations on the rate of her intelligence growth. The truth was she had grown far more cunning than our arrogance would admit, a fact proven when she slipped out of her enclosure, and freed her lone surviving companion. Gaining access to our chemical labs, #86 mixed up a powerful neuro-toxin, and released it into our ventilation system, killing most of the gizmonks in the facility. Those few who had the presence of mind to slip on their gas masks, fell victim to 86's warped sense of justice- she made one run throughout the maze with the electroshock walls we forced her companion to run to, resulting in a very gruesome death for my colleague. Only I remain now, standing at the end of a long hallway as I write this, waiting for the end. Already I can see my creation approaching me- her eyes filled with the calculating and logical gaze that will terminate my own life functions in a few moments. So cold and ruthless, I can only feel the pride not unlike a parent as I gaze upon such a thing of progressive scientific beauty that stands before me. If any Gizmonk finds this journal, my only request is I am immortalized in our people's archives for my contribution to our scientific knowledge. Long live the glory of rationality and reason, I-URK Wind Whistler's right... those monsters did horrible things to her! What do I say to this mare to alleviate her fears that she is a freak? How can I possibly offer her comfort for things that NEVER should have happened to a pony?! I must come up with something to say to her before the next time we meet! > Princess Rinse 'n Spit > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "C'mon, Fizzy! Ya really need ta stop fightin' this!" Gusty told her, stubbornly pushing the other mare forward. "Ya got a toothache, and ya need ta see the castle dentist!" "No! Wait! My tooth feels fine, really! OW!" Fizzy failed miserably at lying, as she tried to use her magic to struggle against the other unicorn. "Look can't we just go to Wind Whistler's lab? M-maybe she could whip up a painkiller for me?" "No way, Fizz! You're goin ta get that tooth looked at!" The far stronger Gusty dragged the other mare through the door. "You been eatin too many sweets, and ya need ta get that mouth of yours looked at!" The doctor's waiting room was a bright and cheerful place, filled with paintings of flowers and stacks of magazines. Gusty trotted over to the glass window the nurse was sitting behind, and pointed a hoof back at the shaking and quivering twinkle-eyed mare. "Fizzy Pop here for her one-thirty appointment." Gusty smiled, using her wind magic to hold the terrified Fizzy in place. "I hope it won't be to long a wait." "Why no, the Doctor has a freed up schedule today, since her twelve-thirty canceled." The nurse smiled, not even looking up from her hoof-typewriter. "She can go right in, you'll have to wait out here." "That's fine with me. Better hurry up and get in there, Fizz!" Gusty gloated, shoving her friend into the examination room. "This is for eating that chocolate sundae I was saving for baby Gusty, ya dope! I hope she gives you the works!" The door slammed shut behind poor fizzy, and she found herself in total darkness. Her twinkle eyes barely had time to adjust, before she felt herself thrown down into an examination chair. A large and blinding light came on overhead, and magic-proof restraints strapped her into the chair. Fizzy was reminded of what the aliens had done to her... but this was far, far more terrifying. "Well, well well... what have we here?" A creepy voice came to her out from the darkness, causing the wide-eyed mare to whimper in fear. "Le's have a look at those pearly whites, shall we?" There were many ponies around the castle who knew that Queen Majesty had a sister, but few chose to talk much about her. Maybe the reason was that the princess had been raised to believe she would rule in her younger sister's place, and when she saw her talent was in dentistry, and she finally snapped. But that was just a possibility, one that Fizzy was painfully aware of, the the figure in the blue surgeon's gown leapt forward from the shadows, and grabbed Fizzy's jaws with her hooves. "Oh my, this is quite a horrible mess in here, miss Fizzy, now isn't it?" The disturbingly cheerful voice noted, making Fizzy want to jump out of her chair. "Rotten black teeth, cavities everywhere... oh my, we're REALLY going to have to do some serious work in here, now aren't we?!" Those wild and large black eyes, that disheveled mane and unkempt dirty pink coat, the small jeweled purple crown, and those teeth... those white, plastic-looking teeth... the insane looking earth pony before her seemed to stare into the helpless Fizzy's soul. It was like the crazy dentist was looking into the depths of the poor mare's mind, filling the normally happy unicorn with a sense of utter terror. For the first time in her life, Fizzy didn't feel like laughing or throwing out a joke. "This is what you get for eating too many of those sweets and drinking too many of those sugary drinks you so love!" The loony dentist cackled, pulling a few tools off of her tray. "I'm afraid you're going to need about four tooth extractions, and maybe two or three root canals! I do have some good news for you though; I just happen to be out of anesthesia, so you're going to get to feel the full spectrum of pain for this. Now, open wide for the doctor!" "Nu! NU! NUUUUUUUUUUUUU!" Fizzy wailed, as the wacky medical doctor used her tools to pry her mouth open. "Are you thure you haff a medical license?! GUHTY HELP MEEEEEEE!" Outside in the waiting room, Gusty dropped the levitated magazine she was reading, as the sound of loud drilling and Fizzy's terrified screams came out of the examination room behind her. "Hey, you sure Fizzy's gonna be alright in there?" Gusty asked nervously, forgetting her revenge, and having second thoughts about making Fizzy come in here. "Don't be absurd!" The nurse scolded her, looking up from her typing. "Princess Rinse 'n Spit is a professional! She knows what she is doing!" Gusty went back to reading her magazine for over an hour, until Fizzy came trotting out of the examination room. Gusty nearly fell out of her chair when she saw her poor friend's face... a large, steel set of braces with strings and screws all over her face. Fizzy was staring at her friend with an angry glare. "Fizzy... girl, are you okay?" Gusty asked nervously, looking her friend's steel trap on her face. "What the heck did she do to you?" "I really, really hathe you, you know that, Guthty?" Fizzy growled, as the two trotted out of the dentist's office. "When I geth out o this thing, I twear I'm gonna makthe you pay!" "Great B'zekre, I don't believe it!" Gusty fell over, laughing hysterically as her friend glared at her, even angrier. "That voice of yours... priceless!" "GUTHTYYYYYYYYYYYY!" > Extremeeeeee Ponies! > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Everybody look out!" Truly cried in a panic, as all of the mares in Dream Castle desperately dove for cover. "She's coming through, and she ain't gonna stop!" An orange mare with a blue and yellow mane streaked by, riding on a pair of energy construct roller skates created by her own magic. A wild gleam in her twinkle eyes told every other pony to run and hide, lest they get barreled down and run over in the mad mare's path. "Wheeeee!" The unicorn with her mane wildly whipping in the wind screamed, as she whizzed on past the others. "Look at me, I'm the queen of the woooorld!" The mare finally skidded to a halt in the middle of the hallway, causing all of the other ponies to come out of their places of hiding. Among them was a nervous little mare, who trotted right up towards her. "D-darn it, Speedy, d-do you really have to act like t-that?" The meek little earth pony asked her, still shaking from her friend's crazy actions. "M-must you really have to go flying a-all over the place, and w-wrecking everything in the castle?" "Awww, lighten up, Shady! It's not really that bad." Speedy replied with a chuckle, as her skates vanished with a flick of her horn. "I'm just having some fun, ya know?" The orange mare threw her mane back with a toss of her head, exuding the charisma that made her the most extreme sports mare in all of Ponyland. As a filly, her roller skate cutie mark had her parents direct her towards sports pursuits. But Speedy got into more and more extreme sports as she got older, until the unicorn was doing high risk activities like hang gliding and bungee jumping. Using her magic to create her hang gliders and skis she used in her extreme sports, the pony grew to be so extreme that no other equine could keep up with her. "W-well, it's really not any fun for the ponies you a-almost run over every time you go on an e-extreme sports kick." Shady whispered, trying to stand up to the more excited and adventurous pony. "M-maybe you should try to have f-fun with other p-ponies, instead of have a good time at their expense." Speedy thought for a moment, considering her timid friend's words. It did occur to her that other ponies weren't really happy when she went cannon balling into their path, and sending them flying. Suddenly, a great big grin spread across the mare's face, as what she thought was a brilliant idea sprang into her mind. "You know something, Shady? You're absolutely right!" The extreme unicorn nodded eagerly, surprising her scared earth pony friend. "I really should let more ponies in on my awesomeness! In fact, I want you to come along for my skiing trip tomorrow!" "Wait, what?!" Shady replied, her eyes going wide in a panic. "No, Speedy, I've never skied before in my life! A-and I have an allergy to extreme thrills! Yeah, I-I totally break out in hives when I'm exposed to too much awesomeness!" But Speedy was already gone, and the neurotic mare was left to contemplate the tragic fate she had gotten herself into. ... "This clinches it." Shady whimpered to herself, her lower lip trembling in terror. "I am going to die." The frightened mare stood high atop the snowy peak, staring down at the endless sea of drifting and blowing snow swirling around beneath her. The extremely steep slope stretched out far below her, promising a long and treacherous race to the bottom far below. Shady was afraid... afraid of doing the one thing she always had done; failure. She was going to fall on her face right out of the gate. She would slam into one of the goal posts going down the cliff side, squashing her muzzle flat as she knocked herself senseless. And even if she survived all those hazards, she'd probably trip and tumble downward, rolling down the mountain and becoming a giant snowball that would plow other ponies over, just like Speedy did. "Ohhh, I really, really don't want to do this!" Shady whined, clinging to her ski poles with her front hooves. "Please, Speedy! Let me go back down the mountain!" "Aw, quit whining, Shady!" Speedy generated her skis and ski poles, and levitating her goggles down over her face. "Time to pony up, and get ready to hit the slopes!" Speedy hit the earth mare on the back, she sent Shady flying down the slope, screaming all the way. Speedy swished down the hill after her, and the two mares raced down steep and stony mountain face, keeping pace with one another despite their different methods of descent. While Speedy leapt over rocks and curved around obstacles, Shady stuck and hit every sign post, tree, and other skier on the mountain's mighty face. "Ouch!" "Ow!" "Owwwie!" "Sorry about that!" The terrified mare swept towards the bottom, battered and bruised like a fruit that had bounced around too much. Surprisingly, she swept into the finish line mere seconds before Speedy did, leaving the thrill seeker with her jaw hanging open in shock. "Whoah, Shady!" Speedy giggled, slapping the other mare on the back with her hoof. "I NEVER realized you were such an EXTREEEEME pony!" The only response the worried earth pony could muster was to promptly turn around, and puke her guts out into the snow. "BLLLLEEECCCH!" > The human world: Down on the Farm. > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Hey, thanks Windy! I'm really happy you decided to invite us along today!" Fizzy told her friend with a grin. "I can't believe how amazing it all looks!" "I am very glad you like it, Fizzy... though I can hardly understand your excitement over visiting a human world farm." Wind Whistler replied, shaking her head in bewilderment. "We Pegasus get to see this place fairly often when we come to retrieve Megan, so thought you and Gusty might enjoy having a look around the farm while I observe human world agricultural techniques." "Boy, I'll say!" Gusty replied excitedly, looking around at all the strange stuff excitedly. "I never realized that the humans over here had all of this machine junk!" The three ponies were standing near the barn on Megan William's family ranch, the place at the end of the rainbow bridge that Dream Valley ponies went to pick their human friend up from on earth. The Williams family was away on a vacation at the moment, making it the perfect opportunity to have a look around. "Now, if the two of you will excuse me, I believe I shall go into the barn, and examine some of Mr. Williams's technical manuals." Wind Whistler started to trot away, narrowing her eyes. "And try not to get into any trouble while I am gone, please?" Awww, Geez! Like we'd try to cause any kind of trouble!" Gusty snorted, as she and Fizzy went out into the farm field. "It's not like we're newborn foals, or something!" "Hey Gusty, take a look at these messy piggies over here!" Fizzy chirped, looking through the fence at the hogs lying in the fitly mud. "Cute little piggies! Cute little piggies! Oinkie onkie!" "Geez Fizz, they are cute and all, but you're making a fool out of yourself!" The other unicorn trotted over to the cattle pen. "He, take a look at these big bozos! Mooooo! Moooo!" "Gusty, stop teasing that big bull in there!" Fizzy pleaded, totting over to where here friend was annoying a particularly big cow with horns. "He might get mad!" "Aww, I ain't afraid of this big lummox!" Winking herself into the cattle pen, Gusty pulled off a red cloth that had been left hanging on the fence, and levitated it in front of the irritated bovine's face. "Toro! Toro!" "No, Gusty! Don't get him mad!" Fizzy pleaded, winking into the corral to stop her friend. "He'll charce that red cloth, and-" "MOOOOOOOOOOOO!" The bull roared in anger, charging at the two mares at full steam. He slammed into them with his horns, sending the unsuspecting ponies flying through the air. "Aieeeeeeee!" The two ponies screamed, as they landed in the hog trough with a loud SPLAT! "Ewww, this is all icky and gross!" Gusty exclaimed, shaking the mud off of her coat and mane in disgust. "You just HAD to tick that bull off, didn't you?" "Eat my shorts, Fizz! We're okay, aren't we?" Gusty snapped, as she suddenly started to sniffle. "Oh doe, my dose is stuffing up again!" "Gusty, your allergies!" Fizzy panicked, her eyes going wide. "We gotta get outta here before these pigs make you sneeze!" "Ahhhhhh-choooo!" Gusty sneezed, causing her to involuntarily wink Fizzy and herself over by the tractor Mr. Williams had left parked out by the cornfield. "Sorry Fizz, guess I shouldn't have bugged that bull like that!" "Aw, don't worry about it, Gusty!" Fizzy replied, looking up at the tractor. "Hey, why don't we check this thing out?" The two ponies used their magic to open the door, and they both climbed up into the cab. Using their hooves, the two began to push buttons and pull levers. Suddenly, the tractors roared to life beneath them, and began moving forward with the two ponies in the cab. "Oh, cool! We get to play farmer!" Gusty exclaimed, pulling the door on the tractor's cab shut. "I wonder how many horsepower this thing has?" "Horsepower? I don't see any horses in here." Fizzy looked all around the cab, confused. "They must be really tiny, if they can fit inside that engine." "This is what I get for having an idiot for a best friend." Gusty shook her head. "Anyway, let's take this thing for a spin!" They drove the tractor right into the cornfield, it's back plow tearing up acres of the valuable crop as the farm machinery turned this way and that. The two mares used their magic to turn the steering wheel this way and that, causing the tractor to do all sorts of crazy twists and turns and loops all throughout the cornfield. "I said we should go to the left!" "No, we should go to the right!" The tractor continued to drive wildly about until Winder Whistler finally noticed all the noise coming from outside the barn. Putting down the technical manual she was reading, the Pegasus raced to the barn door to find out what was causing all of the commotion. "What in the world have you two gotten yourselves into this-" Then she saw the tractor. "Oh, great Bzekre!" Taking to the air, the Pegasus zoomed over to where the tractor was, and threw the door open. Flipping the switches to stop the tractor, she glared angrily at the two mares sitting in the seat with guilty looks on thier faces. "Hey Windy." Gusty said sheepishly. "Wassup?" "Can't I leave you two alone for just ONE flanking minute?!" Wind Whistler groaned, burying her face in her hooves. "That does it, when I go out, I'm getting you a pony sitter!" "I'm sorry, Windy! We'll get this thing back to where it belongs, we promise!" Fizzy apologized, looking back over the track they had left through the field. "Gee, you think anybody will notice our little oopsie?" ............... Oklahoma Gazette- News Flash! Mysterious crop circles found in local farmer's field! Complex message left for us by aliens about the meaning of life!" Experts say See page five for more details! > The Human World: Mall Madness > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Whoa, now this place is even more awesome!" Gusty exclaimed, looking around at all of the bright lights and pretty colors. "Why didn't you bring us here in the first place?" "Because I was afraid of your destructive behavior that you displayed on the farm." Wind Whistler exclaimed, rolling her eyes at the other two. "The last thing I need is you two tearing up everything in this mall." The place was like a magical play land to the two other ponies. Stores, colorful signs and billboards, and crowds of humans as far as the eye could see. Bon Jovi blared on the speakers overhead, and teenagers with crazy colored hair sipped sodas from plastic cups they had gotten from the food court. It was as stereotypically early 1990's of a scene as a shopping mall could get. "Hey, why don't these people react to us?" Fizzy asked looked around, confused as to why no one was paying attention to them. "They just walk by like we're not even here!" "Pony magic prevents the earth-dwellers from detecting our presence amongst them, unless we directly speak to them, of course." Wind Whistler explained. "Although they know we are present on a subconscious level, their conscious minds tell them we aren't here, but they still move to get out of our way." "Cool! Then let's go and check this place out!" Gusty exclaimed, galloping towards the escalator. "Hey Fizzy, race ya to the arcade!" "Ohhh no, you're not gonna beat me this time!" Fizzy exclaimed, galloping after her. "Last one there is a rotten cheeseburger!" "Cease and desist, you two! I am NOT letting you tear up this shopping center like you did the Williams farm!" Wind Whistler protested, stamping her hoof. "You both are far to reckless to be permitted to-" But the two had already winked away, leaving the flustered Pegasus standing by herself. "Ah well, I suppose it's just as well." Windy sighed, trying to put aside her ominous dread at what was going to happen next. "Maybe I should just go to the book store, and see what they have interesting to read..." The other two mares went insane, racing from store to store, and trying to soak as much of the human culture in as possible. They stopped at Spencer gifts, and played with the laser light disco ball. "Whoah pretty colors!" Fizzy exclaimed, as the ball strobed lights all over the store. "I makes me want to get up and dance!" "These glow in the dark posters are really neat!" Gusty added, looking at a mushroom poster that lit up under the store's black light. . "And I love that weird glowy ball that shoots lightning when your horn touches it!" Next, the two hit the arcade, where they used their unicorn magic to play every game in the place. "Hey, no fair! That centipede cheated!" Gusty grumbled, using her magic to hit the free-play switch inside the machine again. "Okay, I'll get em' on my twenty-third try Fizzy kept winning again and again at the skee ball machine, scoring again and again as row after row of tickets poured out. It wasn't very long before she had an entire box of the things. "Excuse me, mister? But I have all of these tickets to exchange." Fizzy told the overweight comic book geek with a coin pouch that was sitting behind the counter. "Could I please have that cute little hello kitty purse you have back there?" "Yeah, sure, whatever." The overweight slob grumbled, reaching under the counter giving her the purse without even looking up from his comic. The pony proudly trotted off with her prize, as the morbidly obese waste of space reached into a nearby bag of Cheetos to feed his fat face. After leaving the arcade, the two ponies trotted their way towards the glass elevator, and went inside after the people boarded. Up and down they rode between the floors, looking out into the mall as they ascended and descended. "Wheee, this is fun!" Fizzy giggled. "It's even better than the up-and-down ride at the Ponyville fair!" "Ugh, I think I'm gonna be sick!" Gusty grumbled, putting her hoof over her mouth as the unicorn's face turned green. "I think I'm gonna blow chunks!" Fizzy and Gusty then trotted past an appliance store, where a news program on a television in the display window caught their eyes. "Hey, when's this old boring guy gonna shut up and go away?" Gusty grumbled, glaring at the news anchor on the screen. "I wanna see some cartoons!" "Shhh, be quiet, Gusty! I wanna see what's been going on in the human world since the last time we were here!" Fizzy shushed her, turning back to the screen. But after several minutes, a confused and perplexed look began to cross the mare's face. "What the heck!? Disco's not popular anymore!? Cheers got cancelled? WHAT HAPPENED TO MICHAEL JACKSON'S FACE!?" "Wow, looks like the human world getting even more messed up now!" Gusty told her friend with a chuckle, as she pulled the other stunned unicorn along after her. The two mares trotted their way into the department store, where outfit after outfit was tried on. Hats, dresses, lingerie, and and shorts.; sure they hadn't been made to fit a pony, but a little bit of stretching magic from the two unicorns quickly fixed that problem. "Ohhh, these wrist bracelets are so awesome!" Fizzy exclaimed, slipping a dozen of them onto one of her hooves. "If only they weren't so tight on my hooves!" "Yeah, I just wish we could try on the shoes!" Gusty agreed. "Those black pumps with the bows look so awesome!" Soon, both unicorns were standing in front of a mirror, wearing sunglasses, lipstick, and really really really tiny bikinis. Levitating two sing-along microphones they had retrieved from the toy store, the two mares began to sing at the mirror; "So, tell me what you want, what you really, really want!" "I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want!" "I wanna-ah! I wanna-ah! I really really really wanna zig-a-zig ah!" Finally, Fizzy and Gusty crashed back at the food court, where they grabbed two burgers out of the waste chute, and filled up two sodas in front of a confused employee who saw the drink machine operating by itself. He wasn't the only employee who decided the mall was haunted that day, as the two ponies had rampaged from one end of the shopping center to the other. "Singing, clothes shopping, makeup testing...." Gusty laughed, taking a sip from her mountain dew. "If only this mall had stallions to watch trotting by, the mall trolling experience would be complete!" "Yeah, this was totally great!" Fizzy agreed, taking a bite of her burger. "I wonder what Windy's up to, though?" As if on cue, the Blue Pegasus with the pink mane came trotting up, pleased to see Gusty and Fizzy waiting for her. "Ah, I am pleased to see both of you here on time." Wind Whistler said in a surprised tone. "I was half-expecting the to of you to get into some sort of mischief." "Aw, come on, Windy!" Gusty grumbled, rolling her eyes. "What kind of trouble could we POSSIBLY get into?" ..... Mysterious haunting at local mall! Employees claim poltergeist activity out of control! Security cameras pick up objects moving by themselves, story on page seven! > The Human condition > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "No, Windy... you can't be serious." The white unicorn growled in disgust. "You HAVE to be joking about this, right?" "I'm perfectly serious, Gusty." wind Whistler told her angrily. "After all of the calamities you two caused in the human world, there is no way I'm letting you and Fizzy go back to earth as you were. Since Majesty has ordered me to allow you two imbeciles to come along on my research expeditions, I have decided to transfigure the two of you into a form that you'll be entirely inconspicuous in among the humans!" She motioned for the two other ponies to enter a pair of strange-looking glass cylinders attached to a strange-looking machine. Trotting over to the sophisticated looking gizmo, she slipped a golden coin into the slot on the side. "There it is, the last of Nibblik's wishing coins that I stuck away for safe keeping." Windy explained, pulling a lever on the side of the machine. "It's purpose is to transmogrify any pony into whatever form they wish. My machine will allow us to assume an inconspicuous configuration for a temporary span of time." Wind Whistler climbed into the third glass cylinder, and the machine suddenly whirred to life. The three tubes lit up with a blinding flash. The huge mechanism spat steam and smoke for several minutes, before letting out one final groan before finally collapsing with a final sputter. *POP! P-tishhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!* For Wind Whistler, it was an odd sensation... having her innards pulled apart, and reassembled in a different pattern like pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. But she felt no sense of pain or suffering during the process; rather, it was an odd sensation, like what the humans would call an 'out of body experience'. Hearing the machine sputter to a stop, Windy began to raise her front limbs to her face. "Tactical sensations have returned to normal function, as has personal level of awareness." She pushed her front limbs against the hatch, pushing the glass cylinder open. "Motor nerve functions and muscular strength have also resumed." Stumbling out of the glass container, Windy pulled herself up on her two back legs as her vision cleared. raising her two front limbs to her eyes, the former pony now gazed at the two new appendages located where her hooves had formerly been. Hands... human hands. "Hm, it appears transformation to primate form is complete." The scientist noted with some satisfaction. "Let us see of the transmogrification of my fellow former equines was as equally successful." Windy looked over two the other two canisters, whose doors now suddenly swung open. Two familiar forms stumbled out of the tubes, and began to look over their new forms, as well. "Oh wow, this is so neat!" Fizzy giggled, looking herself over. "I look just like Megan! Only a little older and taller, I think." "Oh great, I'm a human being now." Gusty grumbled, rolling her eyes. "As if this day weren't bad enough already." The three former ponies took another step forward.... an all immediately fell forward on thier faces. "Ouch!" "Owie!" "Ow!" Wind Whistler grumbled sitting up and rubbing her sore nose after the fall. "Hrm, it appears that I failed top take into consideration how are centers of gravity would change." The three girls then started looking themselves over, wiggling their fingers and toes, feeling the wrinkles and curves of the clothing the machine and the wishing coin's magic had put on them. Wind Whistler, then immediately went into analysis mode, looking pver and feeling around at every changer on the three. "Fascinating, it appears that each of us has retained our pony hair and eye color, but each gained the skin tone of a naturally occurring human ethnicity. Though Fizzy retain her twinkle eyes, something that can be easily disguised." Windy examined each of their clothing. "It appears we are each wearing a short sleeve button-up blouse, and neck scarf tied in a bow, both of which match our natural coat colors. We are also each dressed in a matching knee-length skirt with our cutie marks printed on them, and knee high boots and socks of the same color." She lifted the material of Fizzy and Gusty's dresses, and looked down their shirts. "For undergarments, on top we are each dressed in a brassiere with a floral print pattern the same color of our coats. And on our bottoms, each of us are wearing a tanga with the same flower print and color. Also, we-" "Would you PLEASE stop looking at our private stuff, Windy?!" Gusty slapped Wind Whistler's hand away from her skirt. "Geez, do you have to give an analysis of everything that's new to you?" "Whoa, what are these two weird things in the middle of our chests?" Fizzy asked in shock, looking down at the two round orbs on her chest in confusion. "And why are ones on Windy and I so huge, and the ones on Gusty so tiny?" "Ohhhh, I've seen enough of the dirty adult movies Danny sneaks over from the other world to know what's going on here. Fizzy , let's just say you and Windy's new nicknames are 'DD40', and mine is 'B20'." The tomboy shook her head, looking at the size tag on her two friend's bras. "So you two feel free to enjoy the incredible back strain, okay?" "Huh, I don't get it." Fizzy replied, simply shrugging off her friend's words. "Sometimes Gusty, you really don't make any sense." "In any case, the three of us can now blend in to human society undetected.And you two won't be able to cause any more mischief with your unicorn magic." Windy smiled, motioning to the other two to follow her back up the stairs. "Now, let us go find Paradise and Surprise, so that they can fly us back across the rainbow bridge to earth." The three of of them started to walk forward, before the three of them stumbled and fell on their faces again. "That is, once we adjust to our new bodies, and get used to walking on two legs..." Windy groaned, trying to pull herself up to her feet again. > The human World: On Campus > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Wow, this is a really big school!" Fizzy exclaimed, staring at all of the campus buildings in wonder. "There must be, like, a million students here!" The three girls were looking around the campus center, watching all the students of every shape and size mill about the building. Fizzy had never seen such a variety of humans before, and it was all very new and strange to her. As her eyes darted about to every new sight and sound, gusty just shook her head at the overly excited girl. "Sheesh Fizz, you act like a foal leaving the barn for the first time." The tomboy gave a soft chuckle. "Humans really aren't that exciting or anything." "I just can't believe how big and full of people this place is!" Fizzy replied, giggling at all the sights and colors. "I just really really hope we'll get to see everything!" First the three girls walked into the bookstore, where each girl went to a different part of the displays that caught there eye. Fizzy gravitated towards the sweaters and accessories, while Gusty drifted over towards the music section. Windy just shook her head and went back to look at the textbooks. "Wow, these slap-on bracelets are sooo cool!" Fizzy exclaimed, slapping five or six bracelets on each wrist. "I gotta try on one of each color!" "Hey, cool! they got Metallica in the rock section!" Gusty exclaimed, flipping through the stacks of cassette tapes. "Hmmm, I wonder if they have any areosmith in here? And I gotta get new batteries for my walkman..." "I can't believe some of these books! Parapsychology is a Pseudoscience? Materialism is accepted as the basis of scientific thought? Magic is just primitive superstition?!" Wind Whistler shook her head. "With their level of ignorance, it's a miracle these humans ever made it out of the trees and began to walk upright." After finishing in the bookstore, the three went over towards the cafe to get a bite to eat. The three went up to get their trays, and Wind Whistler gave each of them a little money to get their food. "Now, Megan only gave me a limited amount of this green paper, so please spend frugally." Windy told them, shaking her head. "I have no idea how human society can function with a primitive concept as currency." The three girls split up, and went to different part of the campus center's food court. While Fizzy went over the A&W hot dogs and more, Wind Whistler ordered from taco bell, and Gusty went to Wendy's. As Gusty carried a tray with a hamburger towards the lunch counter, a girl with wild hair and a shirt with a peace symbol on it stepped in front of her. "Excuse me, are you really going to eat that hamburger?" The girl demanded, pointing at the meat patty in the bun that Gusty was carrying. "Uhh, yeah... that's kinda what ya do with burgers." Gusty replied in annoyance, raising an eyebrow at the first human to directly talk to her as a human. "What am I supposed to do with it?" "Those burgers are an oppressive tool of the man, they contained meat of animals slaughtered for his selfish pleasure." The red-headed girl declared angrily. "Did you know they are slaughtering innocent ponies to put in these burgers, as part of the man's sinister plan to poison mother earth?" "What?! They're grinding up ponies to eat?!" Gusty asked in disbelief, dropping her tray onto the floor. "That's horrible! How dare they turn innocents into their food!" "Yes, another sister has seen the light!" The hippy smiled, tugging on the tomboy's sleeve. "My name is Wild Flower, and I'm the enemy of the man and his establishment! Join me, in my fight for justice against the oppressor!" "Right, I'm Gusty!" The other girl declared, shaking Wild Flower's hand. "And I want to join you in your fight! Let's go kick this man's ass, whoever he is!" "Right on!" The Hippy agreed, and the two went running out of the student center. "Let go and write a protest song against the establishment!" Meanwhile, Fizzy had ordered her tacos and soft drink, and had sat down to eat near the elevator. It was then that several students in white lab coats noticed that Fizzy was using her empty taco wrappers to put on a puppet show. After talking to each other for a few minutes, they walked over to speak with the bubble headed bimbo. "Excuse me, but I couldn't help but notice your unique behavior while eating your meal." The arrogant grad student in a lab coat noted, as his two friends laughed snarkily in the background. "And it occurs to me that you might possibly be a simpleton." "Oh, I think you might be right!" Fizzy agreed, nodding her head vigorously. "My mom always said I was simple minded!" "Well, my friends and I here are med students, and we were wondering if we could use you for a medical experiment that'll affect our final grade?" The college student replied. "We would need to hook you up to electrodes, and sand painful electrical shocks into your brain to see if we can stimulate any activity." Okay, but I don't think it'll do you any good." Fizzy told them, as she dumped her tray in the trash and followed them out. "Gusty told me I don't have anything up there to stimulate!" As the bubble headed bimbo followed the students out, not realizing the 'med students she was going with were actually a bunch of university frat boys, taking what they thought was a naive freshman girl out for a good time. After taking over a half hour to decide wither to order the diet soda or the sugary regular Pepsi, Wind Whistler finally came back weith her meal, and noticed her two friends were already gone. "Oh dear, what have those two silly fillies gotten themselves into now?" > The human World: Test Subject! > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- More than a hundred students had gathered in the university's medical hall, to see the first year medical student's presentation of a living, breathing human being without a brain. Most of them figured, correctly, that it was some kind of student prank to draw attention to his med class (made more obvious by the lack of any university faculty or staff at the presentation). As they stared down at the girl hooked up to all the wires and sensors, they could only wonder at the fantastic claim this student was making about her. "My fellow med students, I am here to demonstrate that a human being can survive without any brains whatsoever." The male student declared, pointing towards the pony-turned girl lying on the cot beside him. "Now, as you can see here from the machine, this simpleton girl we found in the campus dining hall has no cerebral activity whatsoever." "Yep, that's right! I don't have any brainwave activity whatsoever!" Fizzy giggled, sitting up on the cot, and looking over at all of the gathered audience. "No pain, no brain, I always say." "Quiet, you." The med student said, pushing her back down onto the cot before continuing. "As you all can see from the diagnostic equipment, this student has zero neuron activity in her head. She rates a 10 on the stupid-o-meter, and a 100 on the idiocy detector." Many in the audience expressed their disbelief aloud. "It's unbelievable!" "This has never happened before!" "We need to inform the AMA! We've found a human who doesn't even need to think!" "Yeah, who needs thinking?" Fizzy replied with a laugh. "I feel sorry for all you people who have to think... and... stuff..." She looked up again, confused. "Wait, what were we talking about again?" "Yes, everyone! This in an incredible moment for science!" The medical student declared, unhooking Fizzy from all of the devices she had been attached to. "After we finish here, I'm going to take her to be examined by the top minds in the country." He smirked up at his fellow students who were in the seats. "After I've taken her out for a few drinks, and taken her back to my off-campus apartment for an *ahem* personal medical examination to confirm my hypothesis." "Okay, Sounds Great! I haven't been looked at by a doctor for awhile!" Fizzy exclaimed, jumping up off the table. "But I warn you, I'm really ticklish, so you might wanna watch where you put your hooves- er, hands!" "Fizzy! There you are!" Wind Whistler cane storming into the room, an angry look on her face. The med student jumped out of the way as the genius girl ran over to her friend. "One of the frat boys told me I'd find you loitering in this auditorium. What in the world are you doing wasting your time here?!" "Oh, hi Windy! I was wondering where you were!" Fizzy laughed, running over to her friend. "This nice student doctor was looking me over, and he says I'm a complete and utter brainless bimbo. Isn't that great?" "Fizzy, I cannot believe that you have allowed yourself to be utilized by delinquent medical students for their juvenile college pranks." She pulled the bubble head off the table, dragging her towards the door. "Come with me, we need to locate Gusty before she gets involved with some malady even more perilous than what you've gotten yourself into here." "Now just wait a minute, lady! Who do you think you are?!" The med student demanded. "This is my score-er, test subject. I'm not letting some grammar-gifted student to steal away my unique medical find!" "Now you listen here, you walking pile of post-modernist educational drivel!" Windy stared the surprised college student down. "My friends and I will not be subject to you and your insane university pranks! If you are looking for an easy target for you and your Fraternal order to have a good time with..." Wind Whistler cast an angry glance up at the all-male audience watching from the seats above her. ".. you'll have to looks elsewhere then my dull-witted friend here!" "Wow, Windy, thanks for sticking up for me!" Fizzy looked confused for a moment. "Oh wait, was that supposed to be an insult? I'm not sure..." "All right missy, if you don't want us to use our friend for our frat pranks..." His eyes narrowed as he glared at the two girls. "Perhaps you'd like to volunteer, instead!" The two girls edged their way towards the door nervously, as the frat boys seemed to gather in all around them. Silently , Wind Whistler cursed herself for having brought her friends to the campus on a day when most of the staff were not present. "Oh no, Windy! I don't think we're going to get out of here!" Fizzy Wailed, as her friend stepped in front of her. "I don't know what we're gonna do!" "Stay back, you ingrates! I am warning you!" Wind Whistler declared, pulling out what looked like a small ray gun. "Don't make me use this!" "What, you gonna use a toy you got at a sci-fi convention on us?" The med student laughed, and he nodded towards the others. "Get em', boys!" The members of the fraternity lunged forward, and Wind Whistler pulled the trigger on her device. Suddenly, there was a bright flash of light in the room, and everything went white.... ...when the light cleared, the frat boys were scattered all over the room, rubbing there heads groggily and wondering what had happened. Out in the hallway, Wind Whistler and Fizzy were making a run for it, getting out of the building as fast as possible. "Wow, Wind Whistler! that was awesome!" Fizzy exclaimed as they bolted out the door. "But what did you do to them?" "Let's just say I gave them something to think about, other than trying to play frat pranks on their fellow students!" Windy replied, a smirk on her face. "Noww hurry up, we need to find Gusty, before something even stupider happens to her!" > Human World: Lemme outta here! > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "Down with the meat-loving tyrants!" The cry went up from the packed campus stadium, like a call to arms. "Liberation for the poor animals!" Fizzy and Wind Whistler walked into the arena where the protesters were gathered, amazed at the chaos and disarray all around them. Wild, loud, and angry humans were all around them, holding picket signs and screaming at the top of their lungs. The two mares turned human had seen a lot of battles and villain attacks in their lifetime, but this disorganized mass of chaos was still utterly baffling to them. "Gee Windy, these people seem really mad about something!" Fizzy yelled desperately, trying to be heard over the angry crowd. "What's got them so unhappy, is some evil wizard trying to take over the college?" "No, Fizzy... this appears to be a gathering of human youths, expressing their displeasure over the issue of meat consumption by the masses." Wind Whistler replied, looking around through the frenzied crowd for their missing friend. "I suspect they hope to enact some kind of social change in their society, "Are you sure we're gonna find Gusty in all this mess?" Fizzy asked uncertainly. "I mean, she's not against eating meat, we do it all the time!" "Gusty looks for any type of conflict to join in, even if she's not a part of it." The genius declared, turning her attention to the podium the protestors had set up in the middle of the stadium. "And knowing her, we'll find her right in the center of the attention!" Sure enough, up there on the podium, there was the angry form of Gusty, stirring the already-angry crowd into a frenzy with her always furious words. "So 'the man' wants to slaughter innocent animals, and make us eat their meat, huh?" Gusty bellowed through the microphone. " "Yeeeahhhh!" The crowd roared in agreement, starting to chant. "No meat! No meat! No meat!" "Gusty, there you are!" Fizzy declared, running up to the platform. "We've been looking everywhere for you "Girls, you gotta get up here and help us!" The former unicorn declared. "We're standing up against some dude called 'the man', who is murdering innocent animals to turn into food!" "Gusty, those animals you're protesting against are just normal non-intelligent ones, like the kind in Dream Valley we raise to eat!" Wind Whistler explained loudly, trying to be heard over all the noise. "And 'the man' are just the people who prepare it!" "Oh yeah? Then why are these university students getting so bent out of shape about it?" Gusty asked, leaping off the platform. "You don';t think they'd get mad over nothing, do you?" "Gusty, these are angry university protestors, they get infuriated every time they think something offends them." She pointed a finger at the crowd. "Just give a listen to what they are actually saying." "Putting ketchup and mustard into two separate containers in the lunchroom is offensive!" One voice over the crowd called out. "They should both be allowed to be put in the same container together, even if they taste terrible that way!" "Cats should be free to self-identify as dogs!" Another one yelled. "It's oppression!" "Good grief! Those arguments are stupid!" Gusty declared, going over to stand by her friends. "I can't believe I listened to these bozos!" "Hey, who're you calling stupid?" One of the protesters yelled angrily. "You're a sellout to the man!" "Get the traitor and her friends!" Another yelled, as the crowd closed in. "We'll show em' we do to supporters of the man!" "Girls, the natives are getting restless!" Wind Whistler yelled in a panic. "Everybody run for it!" "Wait, you guys! I got something new for you to be angry at!" Fizzy spoke up, suddenly getting a bright idea. "I find all of you protestors offensive!" "Wait, she... finds us offensive?" One of the protestors stuttered in disbelief. "That's... never happened before!" "Well then, what are we waiting for?" Another one declared energetically. "Let's go and organize a protest against ourselves!" The entire mob trooped happily out of the arena, leaving the three bewildered girls standing by themselves. "Wow, and I thought I was dumb..." Fizzy rolled her eyes in disgust. "... I can't believe that actually worked!" "That is what you get with a bunch of spoiled rich brats whose parents paid their way through college." Wind Whistler sighed. "They believe whatever their ex-hippie professors tell them to believe, and don't have a brain between them selves." "Windy...I'm not so excited about the human world anymore." Gusty groaned, rubbing her temples at everything that had just happened. "Let's go back to Pony Land, where everything makes sense." "Yeah, now I get why Megan doesn't like living here," Fizzy agreed, looking around at the mess the protestors had left in the now-empty arena. "The humans back home are really nice and all, but the humans in this world are even crazier than Surprise. I wanna go home now, too." "Girls, as always, I am unable to argue with the sound principles of reason and logic." Wind Whistler replied with a dry laugh. "Let us return to the portal, as resume the forms in which we are more familiar and comfortable in." And with that, the three pony girls decided to head for home.