> Ya dun goofed > by Tyrfang > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- > Introductions are at hand > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- It happened with a bang...sort of... Another prank war. It happens at least once a month nowadays. Maniacal laughter, color changes, and just a general mess. This one was different. This one leveled the tower as the Royal Sisters fought. The ground shook as they fought. The sounds of their clash was heard in Ponyville. The two rose their hands, about to bring down their respective Celestial bodies. They reach out...nothing. They reach for them again, trying with all their might...nothing. "What is the meaning of-" An explosion hit the middle ground. Two forms emerge. One with blonde hair and sky blue eyes, the other with with dark brown hair, and eyes as dark as the night sky. They stand, as if waiting for the Sisters to move. "Well?" the blonde asked, "Aren't you going to say hi? It took an awful lot for us to come here." He smiled as he walked over to Celestia. "Well, bro? What do you think?" he asked his brother. The dark haired one walked slowly to Luna, smirking. "I dunno...let's ask." They each took a deep breath, and what happened next was heard in the Crystal Empire. "WHAT IN THE EVERLASTING BUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO FEATHERBRAINED, HORNHEADS?" Their ears bleeding, the Sisters stared, mouths agape at the beings. "Well?" The dark haired man asked. The blonde laughed, "We may have broken them." "WHO ART THOU TWO MONSTERS AND WHY ART THOU IN OUR CASTLE" Luna shouted, angered that these beings had the gall to yell at them and insult them. They aren't featherbrained. Who are they to say that? "Luna, calm down. There has to be an explanation," Celestia said, "She has a point, however. Who are you two?" 'No doubt some trick of Discord's' Luna thought silently. 'Try again, Bat-mare' Luna shrieked at the intrusion. "HOW ART THOU IN OUR HEAD?" The dark haired one sighed. "If you haven't figured it out yet, I guess we'll have to explain it." A tune begins to play... "NNNOPE, UH UH. We're not doing that. No singing, no. "The blonde shouted, "I've heard enough singing from this place." The other man laughed at this, "Well, Luna, Celestia, let me put it this way. Have you noticed that you have to lower the sun, and raise the moon right now?" Celestia and Luna gasp. It can't be that late already. They try to move the Sun and Moon...nothing. Not even a smidge. They try again, this time with more force...nadda. Again, zilch. Again, nein. Again, non. They even try working together to move them individually. And nothing happened. With a snap of the men's fingers, the Sun went over the horizon, and the Moon showed itself. "Who exactly are you two?" The elder sister asked. "It's about time you met us anyways. I'm Solaris, and I'm the Sun." The blonde answered. "And I'm the Moon, you can call me Nocturne." "And you two,dun goofed." ------------------------------------/////----------/////-------------------------------- "Pfft why soo gloomy Moony?" "Maybe because you sparkle like a queer and its hurting my eyes" "TAKE THAT BACK OR ILL-" "You'll what? Tell mother? Pfft, try again, she hasnt been seen in years" "At least she liked me." "Take that back." "No." "RAAAAAAAGH" The brothers started wrestling in the throne room. "...Tia whats happening?" Luna asked, a bit scared of the brother's banter. "I don't know...they seem to be rather...rambunctious to be the Celestial Bodies" Celestia replied, eyes never leaving the two. "ENOUGH" The brother's stopped, and stared at the solar princess. "Whatchu want, Sun butt?" Solaris asked. A guard nearby stifled a chuckle while the other one looked ready to pass out at the comment. "HOW DARE YOU CALL MINE SISTER, 'SUN BUTT'?" The guards all across the castle are struggling, trying so hard not to laugh. "Well," Nocturne began, "She had control of the sun. And you controlled the moon. Each insignia is on your upper thighs." Nocturne smiled, "And Sun thigh doesn't roll off the tongue as nicely." "He has a point Moonbutt." Solaris laughed. Luna was pissed. "WE ARE NOT MOONBUTT AND SUNBUTT, WE ARE PRINCESS CELESTIA AND LUNA OF EQUESTRIA AND YOU WILL CALL US BY OUR GIVEN TITLES." "WHAT DID YOU SAY, MOONBUTT? COULDN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF ME BEING LOUDER THAN YOUR ASS." Solaris, after trying to clear out his ear, yelled back. The guards and maids and chefs and the rest of the facilty lost their collective shits, and started to guffaw at the name calling. Solaris clapped his hands. "NOW, if you two will be so kind as to SHUT THE BUCK UP FOR A SECOND, we'll explain." ..... "Do you remember the day you got your cutie marks?" Nocturne inquired. "Yes. I got mine after raising the Sun on my own for the first time." Celestia answered, smiling at the memory. She couldn't have been more excited that day, bouncing up and down smiling and laughing. It was oddly like a certain lavender filly. "We remember as well. It was a great time for us." Luna commented. "Then you remember us." Solaris stated, as if they should. I mean, they were they the entire time, how could they not remember? "I remember a faint voice when I reached out for the Sun. I thought it was fake." Celestia said. "Well damn, Celly. I guess I'm not that impressionable." Solaris laughed. "ANYWAYS," Nocturne interrupted, "when you raised the Sun and Moon, you gained the connection with us. We can hear your thoughts when nearby, and we can restrict access to the Sun and Moon. Like now, they are out of your grasp." Solaris grunted, "Maybe if you guys didn't level a bucking tower, this wouldn't have happened." "Which leads me to my next point; for the time being, my brother Solaris and I will be staying in Equestria. How long? I don't know." Nocturne said. "What I do know is that you two are no longer in control of the Sun and Moon. We will raise and lower them ourselves. We cannot risk these powers to be used in the manner they were used today." "...Also, we need a place to stay." > Interlude > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Solaris and Nocturne sat on a couch, the former (semi) napping and the latter reading a book. It was a quiet day and the castle hasn't had any major incidents like the little town down the road had. "Hey Sol." Nocturne said through his book. "Nnggh. What." Solaris popped one eye open. "We're the celestial bodies, right?" Nocturne asked. "Of course you dolt." Solaris said sitting up. "And the princesses gain their power and their sovereignty through us right?" The gears were turning in Solaris' mind. Nocturne was right. They were called the Princess of the Sun and Moon. "Aren't we technically royalty?" Nocturne inquired, smiling at Solaris. That smile was matched. "Why yes Prince Nocturne, I believe we are..." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Somewhere in Ponyville, in a tree cottage, the Lord of Chaos himself shuddered in the midst of a tea party. "What's wrong Discord?" a timid yellow mare asked. The Lord of Chaos smiled, his eyes bright. "Nothing much my dear Fluttershy, just a bit cold." "O-oh, I'll go get some blankets!" Fluttershy rushed out of the room looking for something to warm the dranequeous. "If i were not previously engaged with something..." Discord mused. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ It was chaotic. There were sweets everywhere, statues built out of ice cream, and a swimming pool filled with chocolate pudding in the Great Hall. Fifty guards stood in front of the two thrones that were made. One made of Ice, the other of Stone. The brothers were holding court. The blonde spoke first. "And you're Mr..." "Bright Star, your highness" "Ah yes Bright Star." Solaris grinned. "And what is your profession?" "I'm an astronomer, your highness." "Not good." Nocturne said. He then yelled, "DAY AND NIGHT GUARD, WHAT IS YOUR PROFESSION?" "AAOOUGH. AAOUGH." Came the response of the fifty guards present. "Ohh, tough break." Solaris said. "Alright, send him to the marshmallow room." "No! Please! It'll take weeks to get it out!" Bright Star started. "Up up up, you heard the Prince." A guard said. "Thank you Shieldsy" Solaris laughed. In all honesty, the marshmallow room was just filled with mini marshmallows, and you got free hot chocolate. But the ones sent there didn't know that until they got there, mainly because he was told it was a sea of marshmallow, half melted and stale that no one came out un stuck. The brothers weren't evil, just they needed another person to play ultimate zombie hunt and called all staff and everyone they could find to court so it'd be easier. What did you expect? Actual punishments? Bloody casual. "And who are you?" Nocturne asked. The grey pony steeled his glare. "I am Swift Rain, part of the Wonderbolts." "Oooh. I've heard of them. You must be a good flier than, eh?" Solaris questioned. "I'm pretty good." Rain said with a smirk. "Well then, you're in. Except...You're the survivor." Nocturne laughed, "And they", he pointed to the fifty guards(unicorn, pegasi, and earth ponies) "Are the zombies. You have three seconds." Swift paused. This is what the summons was for? This is ridiculous. "And times up." Solaris said. ""ZOMBIES! MARCH!" The sound was heard round the city. The game had begun. The two brothers laughed as they saw the fifty guards run after the grey pegasus. None would be safe. And no one mentioned that the 'zombies' were equipped with balloons filled with red, blue and yellow paint. It would take forever to get that out of the curtains. An hour or so had passed and the castle was red, blue and yellow. The guards were relaxing (after much coercion from the princes) , eating the towers of sweets, and even Swift Rain (after showering) came to enjoy the day with the princes, along with a pink pony who ate the entire pool of chocolate pudding(who promptly fell asleep at the bottom of it after her devouration of it). Their fun was coming to an end though...as they heard the Earth shattering roar of two very pissed off sisters. "WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?" came the cry. "Shall we bail?" Nocturne asked. "Hmm, lets." came the reply. That window will never be the same, the way it shattered as the brothers and the Wonderbolt jumped through and ran off into the sunset. They were caught sometime later in a cafe drinking tea and vehemently denied any and all accusations...only to fail and be punished. They were sentenced to clean up the mess and write an apology to everyone involved. The guards were sent to their respective C.O.s, and punished accordingly, while the pink pony vanished. She wasn't caught. And from that day on, the princesses will know to keep the two under their personal watch so it doesn't occur again. As far as the sister's know that is. > Chapter Two: this time it's personal > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- An eerie silence occurs in the room. The Royal sisters are shocked. “What do you mean, ‘you need a place to stay’?” Luna questioned. “Well, Lulu, it’s quite obvious that if we were to gallivant around Equuis with your powers, there would be civil distress, general chaos, and it would just be a hassle for us.” Nocturne replied. “And we’d rather stay here than that danger magnet, Ponyville.” Solaris mumbled. “Well, that, and if we leave, the Pink one will know. As long as we’re here, our presence will be hidden.” Nocturne said, “Hopefully” he thought, shuddering. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Meanwhile… A pink pony was twitching. “Ear flop, Knee twitch, nose wiggle, tail twist.” She thought. “There’s new ponies. Royalty.” She began bouncing around her room, looking for her P.A.R.T.Y Cannon. ...It begins. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “Did you hear that? It sounds like laughter.” Solaris said, looking over his shoulder. “We heard nothing. This is ridiculous, Sister, why are we entertaining them?!” Luna said, turning to Celestia. “They do have a point, Luna.” Celestia replied. “If the public found out we’ve lost our power, we’d have turmoil from here to Zebrica. Not to mention the Griffons would laugh, and Dragon’s would no longer respect our treaties.” “We-I understand” Luna sighed. She just wants to go back to bed. Celestia turned to the twins, who had started a game of broshambo. She coughed and they turned their heads, waiting. “If you two do not cause too much trouble, you can stay in the castle.” Celestia said. “But Celly, we just met! Aren’t you being a bit forward?” Solaris said, eyeing the princess. Celestia smiled, and walk towards him, sashaying her hip as she got closer...only to punch Solaris and knock him down. The Solar entity fell with as much grace as an elephant with a seizure, and Nocturne laughed. “Now, if there are no more interjections” Celestia said, eyeing the downed man. “We can show you your rooms.” “Hey Sol, you might wanna watch your mouth. I mean, if you can see at all with that black eye” Nocturne snickered. “By the Sun, if you don’t shut up Nocty, I’ll beat you into a pulp,” Solaris said, sitting up, spitting out a tooth. “Says the man beaten by a woman,” Nocturne laughed, as a shadow appeared behind him, eyes glowing white. “And what is that supposed to mean, huh, ‘Nocty’?” Luna said behind him. He jumped back, startled, sputtering. “Absolutely nothing, there’s nothing wrong with being beaten by a woman” Nocturne laughed nervously. “Hmm. Good. Let’s continue.” Luna said, leaving the two. The twins looked at each other, shrugged and followed the sisters to their room. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ “And here’s where you’ll be staying,” Celestia said. The twins looked in, there were two beds, a balcony, and one bathroom. The brothers looked at the bed, then at each other, and nodded. In a flash the door was closed, the sisters knocked on their bums, and construction noises were heard inside. The sisters tried to open the door, but it would not budge. They used magic, kicked it, punched it, and were at their wits end. So, they got a battering ram. “On three,” they said. “One...two…” “THREE”, and they charged the room… ...Only to have it be opened at the moment before impact. They couldn’t stop… ...and ran straight off the balcony. “It’s a good thing they can fly, right Nocty?” Solaris said. “Indeed it is, Sol. Indeed it is.” Nocturne nodded. The sisters flew in through the door, and were astounded. The room...hadn’t changed a bit. “Seriously?” Celestia asked. “YOU CHANGED NOTHING AND YET LOCKED US OUT FOR NOTHING?” Luna yelled. “Hey! We did do something!” Solaris exclaimed, “Look!” Solaris pointed to the center of the room. They had made...bunk beds. “Wha..?” Celestia was stunned. ‘Of all the things they could’ve done...they did this?’ “There’s so much more room for activities!” said Nocturne, excited as the two danced around the room and practiced karate moves. Luna and Celestia face palmed. ‘I hope they aren’t always this bad...’ they thought. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A train takes off from Ponyville, with six technicolor passengers on their way to Canterlot... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The dinner hall was silent. Well, as silent as it could be with two ravenous men eating as fast as they could. Being a celestial body doesn't exactly mean you eat well. Or at all really. It's all a matter of perspective whe- "WE GET IT, FOR FUCKS SAKE , MOVE ON! " yelled Solaris. "Whom are you speaking to, Solaris?" inquired Luna. "The bloody writer. He never shuts up." grumbled Nocturne. The sisters looked at each other, clearly these two were insane. "WE HEARD THAT!" the brothers shouted. Ahem, moving on. So the dinner table was a wreck. The Royal sisters were appalled at the viciousness of the brothers while eating. It was Celestia who spoke first. “So...Why now? Of all the times you could’ve came down to help us during battle or some other tragic event, you show up now. In peaceful times.” Celestia spoke, generally confused. “Well, Cel, heh that rhymed,” Solaris snickered, “We knew you guys could handle it. Plus, destroying things in peaceful times is a no no.” “I do have an inquiry for Nocturne,” Luna spoke, nervously, “Were you with me on the moon?” “Pfft. I AM THE MOON. Of course. Why do you think you were able to be saved like you were?” Nocturne stated, as if it were plain fact but clearly it was not considering the sisters had no idea that the celestia- “GET ON WITH IT!” I’m just trying to lengthen- “GET ON WITH IT OR SO HELP ME” Alright, alright. Sheesh. “I was there too,” Solaris nodded,”Except I was keeping Celestia off the deep end.” Celestia spit out her tea, “What? What are you talking about, I’d never-” “Ah ah ah, it is most unbecoming of you to lie, princess.” Solaris grinned through a cupcake. “Besides, it’s alright everyone has those thoughts sometimes. Everyone do-” A trumpet interrupted one of our favorite protagonists. A crier entered the room along with a pompous looking prick of a- “Announcing, Prince Blueblood!” the crier announced. *Ahem* Prince Blueblood walked to the table and was disgusted. There was a commoner in his seat. He was outraged. How dare someone take his seat next to his beloved auntie Celestia. The seat farthest away from that Nightmare freak. “Auntie. Why is there a lowlife peasant in my seat?” Blueblood asked, glaring daggers at Solaris. Celestia was about to speak when she was interrupted, “I’m gonna be your new uncle, boy-o!” Solaris laughed, grabbing Blueblood and giving him a nudgie. “An’ tha’ ova ther’ is yoor otha’ uncal!” Solaris threw (yes I mean THREW) Blueblood to Nocturne. “Aww look a' 'im, mate. So skinny we coul’ ave mistook ‘im for a lass.” Nocturne laughed as he gave Blueblood a wet willy. Blueblood screamed. Hard. Like, a fucking banshee would be impressed. Anyways, Blueblood ran with tears in his eyes, as he had just been kinda manhandled (Anthrohandled? Ponyhandled?). Solaris and Nocturne laughed and high fived, and promptly went back to eating. ‘Well, they aren’t total brutes, are they sister?’ Luna spoke to Celestia through a mindlink. See, after the sisters found out that the brothers could read their minds, they made a separate link through their heads. Kinda like a game server with a password that is too hard to remember all the time so you need a guy who’s in the server to give it to you. Anyways. ‘Just a bit unmannered. Kinda cute sometimes though. When Solaris made that comment about moving in, why I haven’t been that flustered in a while.’ Celestia said back. ‘Not to mention the scene we just witnessed. It took a lot of effort for us not to laugh at that display. It’s like the two alway operate on the same level of thinking.’ Luna stated ‘I wonder what they are thinking right now.’ Celestia mentally murmured. The thoughts of the brothers were scattered all of the place, until a certain train pulled into Canterlot, and she stepped off the train. ‘She comes.’ They shuddered. “What is the matter?” Luna asked, confused by the display. “She comes, and she brings friends. Her cannon is scary, and she bends time and space to her will be merely offering it a cupcake.” Solaris said, shaking. “We’ll be in the bedroo-” Nocturne started, before the dining hall door was busted in. “WHERE ARE THEY?” shouted a pink pony. Nocturne looked at Solaris, and nodded. Solaris smiled and looked to the princesses and said, “Close your eyes. This is gonna be blinding.” Solaris turned around and glowed. Brightly. As if he were the su- oh wait. Everyone in the room’s eyes were useless for thirty seconds. Celestia and Luna were unaffected, due to being goddesses and they shut their eyes. Like seriously, is it that hard to not look at bright things? Anyways all that was left was a scorch mark and a note that said, Dear Pinkie, Catch us if you can ;) Signed, Sol and Noct And thus the chase began… ...And ended when they got to their room. Six technicolor ponies and the Princesses were waiting for them in the dark. No, no one knows how Pinkie did it. Not even the gods. No one. Ktulu himself is recorded as saying, “Fuck I’m literally a being made of destruction and Chaos, Discord’s great times a thousand grandpa, Eldest god of the whole multiverse, and yet that she-demon still confuses me.” And the brothers thought they were safe. The went into their room and shut the door. And locked it. Several times. And drilled it shut. Because fuck you. “That was close. She almost got us.” Solaris managed to get out through his panting. “Hey Solaris.” “Yeah?” “Don’t we always leave the light on?” “Oh shi-” SURPISE!!! They were face to face with the Pink demon of Ponyville. “DONT EAT US, WE’RE GOOD PEOPLE!” The boys shouted. “Eat you? Why would I do that? I like meeting new friends! *gasp* You must have thought I made my cupcakes out of other people inthatcaseIhavetodenyitbecauseitisnttrueimeancomeonwhowouldeverdosuchanawfulthingtootherpeople? Oh yeah, what’s your names?” Pinkie smiled widely. Nocturne was the first to speak, mainly because he was the first to recover from fear. “I’m Nocturne, this is Solaris. Give him a moment, he a bit of a baby” A loud thunk was heard across the land. Nocturne was on the ground with a bump on his head. “WHOM ARE YOU CALLING A BABY, YOU BIPEDAL BITCH” Solaris roared. A sweep kick knocked him over and Nocturne spat back, “YOU, YOU LAZY DEGENERATE” They started fighting as brothers do in the middle of the room. Applejack and Rainbow were laughing at the display, Pinkie Pie was taking bets, while Rarity, Fluttershy, and Twilight were in shock, from brutishness, fear, and the desire to know more respectively. Luna and Celestia were slightly miffed. The two brothers stopped fighting for a moment. They looked around and and said this, “We know who you guys are by the way.” Solaris started. “And we will be friends with you” Nocturne added. “On one condition” They smiled. “Oh oh what, what is it?” Pinkie asked jumping up and down. “We take this party to the streets!” The brothers exclaimed, highfiving. The only person to not agree was Fluttershy, which was understandable. The princesses were harder to persuade, but eventually with enough pleading, and a few convincing argument and blackmailing, it was decided they should go for “chaperoning” purposes. After a night of clubbing, debauchery, drinking and singing, everyone ended up in the Castle wasted. The ponies with less constitution passed out. Applejack and Rainbow Dash were still talking loudly and hitting on the Night Guard. The princesses and the Solar entities were playing a game of truth or dare. And Pinkie was singing this. And they danced and drank some more at the Castle. And all was well...except for the next morning... It started with a scream or two, and four very confused people...and a couple of questions. > I bet no one reads these > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Actually, it was a scream no one had heard in about a thousand years. It came from the princesses' chambers. When they stopped, they contacted each other through their mind link. 'TIA WHAT HAPPENED?!?!?' 'I DONT KNOW, ONE MOMENT WE WERE DRINKING, NEXT I'M AWAKE TO THIS KID!' 'Wait, your voice...Oh no.' 'Luna? LUNA WHATS WRONG?' 'You still have that huge mirror in your room?' 'Luna, I hardly see how that i-' There was a silence... 'Luna?' 'Yes Tia?' 'Why do I look young?' 'It appears we have gotten back to our younger selves.' '...Shit' The pony diarchs were now at the ripe age of seventeen and sixteen, and were currently hiding in corners of their rooms... ...And they screamed again. ```````````````````````````````````````````````///////////////////////////////////////```````````````````````````````````````````` Luna walked slowly to the side of her bed, only to see a dark haired teen snore rather comically. 'You know, he's kinda cute,' Luna thought. She immediately blushed at the thought. How could she say that? What possessed her to say it? While she was entranced in thought, an arm grabbed her, and held her close. She was frozen in shock at the sudden contact. "This teddy bear is warm..." Nocturne mumbled. Luna was petrified. Here she was, a teenager in a bed with another teen who just so happened to be the thing that gave her her cutie mark. The princess of the moon and become the teddybear of the Moon itself. ....And it felt okay. She smiled and closed her eyes. 'Maybe this isn't so bad.' ```````````````````````````````````````````````````///////////////////////////////////////```````````````````````````````````````````` Celestia was having her own issues. She was still petrified. Not because of the sudden age reduction. Not the fact that the literal sun was in her bed, but the fact that he was waking up. "No...ZZzzyoucan'tblamzzzZZ" Solaris mumbled, " nO DON'T! Huh what?" Solaris looked around the room. Celestia held her breath, and prayed he didn't see her. He shook his head, and fell back asleep. 'I wonder what he was dreaming about.' Celestia thought. Solaris was indeed having a nightmare. But of what? Celestia caught a bit of it, but could make no sense of it. 'No, you can't blame..?' Celestia mulled over his words. 'Blame who?' *Flashback* "It was me who kept Celly from going over the deep end." *current time* 'He can't be. Nah. Impossible.' Celestia stated. She walked toward the sleeping 'star'. 'Besides he's too much of an idiot to-' "Oof" Celestia grunted as she was pulled into an embrace. "Don't ever scare me like that...I worried for a thousand years that you'd off yourself." Celestia was silent. She hugged back, and whispered, "I wont again."...She waited for a response. She only got light snoring. ...'He's still asleep. He was sleep talking... That cheeky dickwaffle.' Celestia laughed quietly to herself. 'Now how do I get out of this bed?' 'You don't. Not til my hangover quits.' '...You son of a...' And at that moment, the hardest headbutt ever recorded in all the multiverse was done to a certain Sun from a certain Diarch... ...And it hurt like a bitch. ````````````````````````````````````````========================================```````````````````````````````````````` ...Or at least that what you thought happened. Or I thought it. Whatever. Anyways, I'm telling a half truth, because it makes a better story. See, what actually happened was... ````````````````````````````````````````========Flashback======`````````````````````````````````````````````````` "I bet I'm bet'r at majik than you, Celly." Solaris slurred. "Fa' chance in Tartarous, you are, Sol. You can't even spell magic right!" Nocturne laughed. "Oi, shuddup or I'm gonna give you another crater, Moonboy." Solaris threatened. "Make me, Plasma breath." snarled the Moon. Three minutes, twelve bottles of scotch, a game of Monopony, and a single punch from both Celestial beings later, they were out cold. Applejack, Luna, and Dash were laughing, Twilight was writing their habits on a notepad, Rarity was disgusted at the behavior, and Celestia swore to herself that the two would never meet, "He who must not be named." Where is Pinkie, you ask? She's behind you. With their bellies full of alcohol, and their minds full of sleep, our heroes and heroines walk/stumble/crawl back to the Castle. The Diarchs wished the elements a good night, and put their Celestial charges to bed. Solaris in the top bunk, Nocturne in the bottom. After looking at the two brothers snoring for a bit, they decided to go to bed, thinking the twins were done for the night. After saying goodnight to each other, Celestia and Luna went their separate ways to sleep. ````````````````````````````````````````========End Flashback======`````````````````````````````````````````````````` Breakfast was an awkward venture. Mainly because the princesses had to explain to their Guards why there were guys in their respective rooms. Half naked guys. Y'know the whole song and dance, 'Oh, it's not like that!!', like they'll believe that. "It isn't like that, Lt. Sound Garden! He sleepwalked in here!" Celestia claimed. "I swear it doth not be like it seems, Sir Night Walker! It is surely a mistake!" Luna said, flustered enough that she went into old Equestrian. "...Righty ho, then!" both guards exclaimed, fully believing their charges' words. ...Seriously? I guess they lowered the bar for guards nowadays. Anyways, after that, they walk/skipped to breakfast. If you've been paying attention, I don't have to tell you who is skipping and who isn't. But I will. Because I'm nice. It's the guards. "Why are your guards skipping behind us? Isn't that unprofessional?" Solaris whispered to Celestia. "It's free pie day at O' Marely's, they can't help it." Luna whispered. "She's right," Nocturne whispered, "And we can go later, Sol." "How did yo-" Solaris started, but Nocturne cut him off. "Dude, I've know you forever. Literally." "Ah." Solaris nodded, because it was true. Well, sort of. Semantics are lame. The quartet got to the dining hall in no rush whatsoever. Why? Because walking with a hangover is awful. The walls spin, your stomach flips, your mind is- "We get it!" shouted the brothers. -Anyways, the Elements were already at the table, waiting for the Diarchs and the twins. As the late arrivals sit down, a horn is blown and the crier with a snobby pot bellied fu- "PRESENTING, PRINCE BLUEBLOOD" -with no concern for pony life other than his own...*Ahem* Blueblood entered the room with grace and dignity. A much dignity and grace as you can with a stick up your ass. As he walked closer to the dining table, he noticed the twins are still present. It was as if his words to the royal guard meant nothing! Did he not tell them that he wanted the peasants out? Outrageous! To think, he, Blueblood was being ignored by his own servants, why, it's just preposterous to thi-.... "Oi, Blueballs, make that crier blow that horn again and there'll be more than steam coming out of your head." Solaris snarled. "I second that notion." Nocturne stated, his head pounding even more. "I have had enough of you two...hooligans!" Blueballs cried, "I will make short work of you-" Blueblood was hit in the face with a spoon. "Wha-" thwack "Why-" thwack "How-" thwack "Sto-" dodge "Ha!" thwack "Aah!" thwack Blueblood ran away with his tail between his legs, spoons still being thrown at him. "Heh, that was fun" Solaris laughed. "Yeah it was, did you see his face?" Nocturne grinned. "Priceless!" the twins highfived. While our heroes are high-fiving, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie are having a Pancake eating contest with Fluttershy judging, Twilight is talking to her mentor about a new spell, Rarity is silently thanking the twins for their disorderly conduct, and Luna and Applejack are talking about apples. What? They're in the story too, just not as important to the plot. Maybe. If there is one. Anyways, the gang settles down after a while, and Celestia asks the golden question. "Are you two staying here in Canterlot indefinitely, or are you going to explore?" Solaris and Nocturne think for a moment. They huddle up, whispering, looking up every so often. They draw diagrams. They draw blueprints. They write poems, draw pictures, write problems, solve questions. And then, they found their answer. "Why not both?" Solaris said. "Yeah, both. Both is good." Nocturne agreed. "If you want to do both, I'd start with Ponyville" Celestia suggested, "It's practically in the middle of everywhere." "Nope. Can't do it." Solaris said. "Why ever not? It's a lovely place" Rarity stated, shocked that they didn't want to visit their quaint little village. Also because she couldn't make them clothes if they weren't there. "The um...stars aren't in place" Nocturne said hastily. "Yeah, right. Stars. Can't. Not right now." Solaris agreed, nodding rapidly. "Then where are you two going to go?" Luna inquired. The brothers grinned. A big grin. A grin that may have belonged to a cat. One so big, it made Pinkie kinda worried. Not for long though. She knew they couldn't run from her. No where is safe. The brothers took a deep breath and... > Nuke the Whales > -------------------------------------------------------------------------- "..." "..." An empty silence filled the room, so fierce you could hear a pin drop and curse the gods. The brothers stayed still, grins plastered on their face. Everything was at a stand still. The Elements were getting nervous. They had never seen two ponies stand still for so long without breathing. Even the Royal Guards fidgeted every so often, though it was rare. Celestia and Luna felt a shift, and then nothing. A minute passed...then two...then five... And then... Solaris and Nocturne fell flat. A collective gasp filled the room. Pinkie, being the ever curious little pony, poked the brothers...only to find out that... "HEY! These are dummies!" Pinkie shouted. "Well, that's a little uncalled for there Pinkie," Applejack said, a lil upset that Pinkie called them dummies. She didn't think they were that dumb. "No, these are actually dummies!" Pinkie yelled, while hoisting the two puppets up. The ponies gasped again. Fluttershy fainted, Luna hid a smirk, and Celestia was concerned. The two beings that hold both her and her sister's powers in their hands are gone. This was a serious issue. She didn't even think twice before shouting orders to the guards, telling them to find the brothers. Rainbow Dash and Applejack volunteered to look as well, while Rarity and Twilight took care of Fluttershy. Pinkie Pie ran quickly to the kitchen for some ungodly reason. Luna got to work scrying for their minds. They were linked, after all. "Tia, I'm getting nothing. I can see the door, but it's locked," Luna said, concentrating on where the 'door' might be. "Let me see if I can find Sol," Celestia offered,"Because wherever he is, Nocturne is close." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Now you may be wondering, 'Where are our heroes?!?' or 'Why am I reading this?' Both are excellent questions. The first one is simple, but I'm gonna hold off on answering. The second one is up to you. While our heroes are 'missing', let's see how the search parties are doing! ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Consarnit Rainbow, will you slow down? This ain't a race!" Applejack yelled after her poly-chromatic friend. "C'mon, Aj, they couldn't have gone far." Rainbow Dash said, flying higher and faster. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "And a little bit of this, and a dash of that, and we've got enough food to reach the welcome mat~!" A pink dervish was reported singing this song before all known observers were captured, force-fed sweets, and covered in sugar and confetti. A nightmare for years to come, the poor lads and lasses. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Meanwhile "Uhh...are you guys sure about this? We're new recruits and we don't want to get in trouble..." "Nonsense, Shield, my little stallion compadre! You and Dusk Flyer are totally in the green with this!" Solaris laughed, wrapping an arm around the Solar Guard recruit. Dawn Shield and Dusk Flyer were friends since time immemorial. Or, y'know, first grade. They were inseparable, and made every effort to make it into the Royal Guard together. They're fresh recruits, and have been snagged by the two Brothers. It all happened so fast... Flashback "Hey, Dusk, whens our first duty?" "In about ten minutes, why?" Before he could answer, a shining light appeared in the barracks,and blinded them. And, lo', two hands shot out, and whisked them both away for an adventure. End flashback "We're so dead if the CO finds us.." Dawn said, his face in his hands. "Nah, don't sweat it, man." Solaris said, slapping Dawn on the back, "We're in the clear. Trust me." "He may not be the brightest star in the universe," Nocturne said, "but he's got a point. We are kind of royalty. And we needed an escort." Dusk grunted in agreement. Not that he doesn't speak, but because he had nothing else to add. The four of them walked down the Canterlot streets, minding their own business, when their destination starts to show its lovely face over the horizon... ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Meanwhile, in the Castle! All search teams have regrouped in the throne room. There has been no sign of the brothers, and two guards have been reported missing. "I just don't know where they could've gone! They're really good and hide and seek when they wanna be!" Pinkie giggled. "This is no time for laughs, Pinkie. Those two have the power of Gods, and they're gone!" Twilight half yelled, her hair fraying outwards. "Now hol' your horses there, Twi', they ain't they type to stir trouble." Applejack stated, knowing that no matter how rowdy those two are, they wouldn't destroy anything important. "AJ has a point Twilight," Rainbow said, nodding in agreement, " And if they did, we'd have heard them." "Oh, i just hope they're okay." Fluttershy said, now awake. Twilight turned to her two mentors. "Have you got any lock on them yet?" "We haven't. Considering their magical signature is the same as ours, we just keep pinging on our location." Celestia said, shaking her head. "I just wish there was a clue or someth-" Celestia's head shot upright. The gears were turning. She turned to Luna, who's eyes lit up. They couldn't have. They wouldn't have. They probably did. 'THOSE BASTARDS' Celestia and Luna roared through their mind link. "Uhh, Princess? Have you found something?" Twilight asked, looking kind of afraid. "Yeah! Your face is all serious and scary! Like 'Grr, when i get my hands on them!'" Pinkie said jumping up and down. Celestia sighed, and Luna giggled. These two are terrible. Absolutely awful. They give everyone a scare for that? "We know where they are." Celestia said, eyes closed, while pinching the bridge of her nose. Luna turned to the guards present. They saluted when they noticed her. "Guards, go back to your stations. The problem is resolved." Luna said, sending them back to their boring positions as faux statues. "Uh, princess? Where are the boys?" Rainbow asked. "We'll be heading there shortly. Get ready for a mass teleportation." Luna said, smiling. She was going to have some words with those two. Everyone stepped into the magic circle while Luna powered up the spell. With a flash of light and a crack of thunder, they were gone, and the throne room was left empty. Save for Scruffy, the Janitor. "Eeyup" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ "Unknown location, at 2:45 p.m." "What're you doing?" Dawn inquired. "Oh. Just adding some suspense." Solaris answered, laughing. "For what?" Dusk asked. See? He talks. Just when he wants to. Dusk lives by his own rules. "Yeah, they should be here in about 5...4...3...2...1...." Noctunre said, trailing off. As soon as Nocturne reached one, flash of light appeared. And there were eight very pissed off ponies standing there. Dawn and Dusk stood abruptly and saluted when they saw the Princesses. If they were afraid about the ordeal before, they were horrified now. "Took you long enough!" "Yeah what took you so long?" "We ordered drinks for everyone!" "Now, take a seat, and stay a while!" The two brothers grinned, putting their hands out to the eight chairs they asked for earlier, at the inconvenience of a very confused waitress. The Princesses were angry. The elements were confused. The guards were still standing. And it took a very brave waitress to walk up to the crowd, and with a big breath, she said: "Hi, welcome to O'Marely's!"