> Attack The Flask!
>  by Mr Unsmiley
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Gender Ratios and You
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

The bell rang forth with a striking peal, heralding the end of the catastrophe that was exam week.
"Oh, thank God," Cheerilee moaned, cradling her head in her hands. She resisted the urge to rifle through her desk and find the pain reliever, instead burrowing even further into her warm maroon sweater.
Finally!
No more whining teenagers begging for a review that she'd already covered last week! No more horny students trying to shove their hands down each other's pants when they thought she wasn't looking!
She smiled beatifically at each student that handed in their paper, and she studied them, gauging their facial expressions as an indicator for how well they believed themselves to have performed.
Apple Bloom was the first to come up, and Cheerilee knew from past results that the girl was deceptively intuitive. The young Apple thanked her for a great semester, smiling, and invited her over to the farm for dinner and hot cider, as she did every year at winter. Cheerilee thanked her in return, and accepted her invitation, as she did every year. She wondered if Apple Bloom's brother would be working the fields late.
Over the years, the two women had grown closer, to the point that the precocious young farmer had admitted that her teacher had become something akin to an aunt, a statement that pleased Cheerilee greatly, though she couldn't explain her satisfaction completely.
Clad in a handed-down cargo coat that was too big for her, as well as a pair of lovingly-worn jeans, Apple Bloom was every part the rustic young beauty who was about to come into her prime. She wanted to embrace her star pupil openly, but Cheerilee had enough accusations of nepotism as it was, from her more unsavory students.
Speaking of unsavory...
Diamond Tiara strolled up, blowing a bubble of chewing gum and lazily staring at Cheerilee. If she could sum up the girl in a phrase, rich bitch came to mind with haste, but she quite literally couldn't afford to show favoritism or revulsion to any one student. Especially this student.
If Apple Bloom was a rustic beauty, Diamond Tiara was an urban minx, though it disgusted Cheerilee on a fundamental level to label her so. Even if she was a brat, she was a smart brat, and a gorgeous one to boot. She wore her familiar yellow jacket and white skirt, and why was she wearing leggings in the middle of winter? Cheerilee knew it was  pointless to try and get any woman in this town to choose pragmatism over convention, but the maternal side of her wanted to berate the girl for risking a cold just so she could look cute.
She said nothing to Cheerilee, only popping her bubble and walking off as soon as she dropped off her paper. She strode out the door, pausing only slightly to give Apple Bloom a significant look.
Along followed Silver Spoon, an average girl with all the snoberry of her friend, but none of the talent. Cheerilee knew it was harsh to think of her that way, but it was the truth: Silver Spoon even looked boring. As she followed her friend along like a dedicated puppy, eyelashes a flutter, the schoolteacher thought for the umpteenth time that day that there was simply no way the girl wasn't a raging lesbian.
The other students weren't long in coming. Scootaloo, usually cool and confident, slumped by with her exam, muttering a "Happy Holidays" to Cheerilee while avoiding her eyes and stuffing her hands into the pockets of her dark purple parka. Sweetie Belle, bless her heart, was already lost in her phone, pausing only slightly to wink comically at her teacher and wish her a good break. That girl was always hard to predict.
The other students flooded out, and suddenly Cheerilee could only think of their names before they were gone from view. Archer, Rumble, Twist (thank God, the girl had outgrown her speech impediment), Featherweight, Truffle Shuffle...
Before long, Cheerilee was alone in the classroom. The schoolteacher sighed, resting her head in one hand as she watched the Crusaders from the window. The three were talking animatedly, and even Scootaloo's air of dejection soon evaporated in the cool, thin air of Ponyville in December. Cheerilee stared at them, and a feeling like dull warmth sprang up in her stomach. She didn't envy their youth, only their excitement.
Doubtless the Crusaders would be celebrating late into the night, while she would be grading papers until her reading glasses fell apart. She would miss her students, like she always did, but not as much as she missed her bed right now...


"The Twister box is in the back of the truck, and so's the bottles," Apple Bloom said, tossing her pony tail over her shoulder.
Scootaloo gasped, whipping her head to look at Apple Bloom, excited.
"Empty bottles, ya deviant," the farmer replied, rolling her eyes. She held the door open to Sugar Cube Corner, waving at the cashier as her friends entered.
The skater huffed, shrugging. "Whatever," she said, "but please tell me we're not rolling up to DT's house in that rusty old clunker of yours."
"Hey," Apple Bloom retorted, "that 'rusty old clunker' is a family heirloom—"
"And the love of your life," Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo finished, in a you've-told-us-for-the-umpteenth-time tone of voice.
"Hmph," was all the apple farmer had to say. She shrugged off her coat as they sat down at a nearby booth, and the other girls did the same.
"Why don't we take Scootaloo's car? It's stylish." Sweetie Belle suggested, tucking her phone away.
"The Scooter?" Scootaloo asked, grinning. "Heck yeah, my baby's got style for days."
Apple Bloom rested her head on her palms, "Yeah, it's got style until you get to the name. Why not name it something actually stylish?"
Scootaloo snorted. "Like you have a cool name for a car."
Apple Bloom thought for a moment, then said, "Sky Bandit."
Scootaloo wrinkled her nose, then proposed, "Dust Devil."
"The Crusader?"
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo glanced over at Sweetie Belle, who was sitting contently, her arms crossed over her lap.
"Shit," Scootaloo muttered, "that's good."
Apple Bloom got up from the table, fingering her wallet. "What do you girls want?"
"Chocolate milkshake," Scootaloo called, pushing forward some money on the table.
"Pumpkin spice latte!" Sweetie Belle exclaimed, punching her hands into the air.
Coughing into her hand, Scootaloo muttered something that sounded like "White girl."
Rolling her eyes at her two best friends, Apple Bloom scooped up the money and sauntered up to the front of the store, where the cashier was. For a moment, she simply enjoyed the warm, sweet air of the bakery, and the ambient noise that it held.
Finally...
School was over, and she was free to do as she pleased for a full month. After all, winter meant snow, and snow meant no outdoor chores. At eighteen, her family finally trusted her on her own, as their town was a peaceful one, practically devoid of crime.
Finally, she and the Crusaders could do as they wanted, and with the plans for the night ahead of them, the girls intended to take full advantage of their newfound freedom.
"Hey Apple Bloom!" called one of the Cake twins, Pumpkin. The young autumn-haired ten-year old was nothing if not responsible, sitting at the front counter, swinging her legs on a well-worn stool. "What'll you girls have, or are you just going to loiter around and ogle the help?"
"We don't condone loitering," Pound said, popping out from the saloon doors leading to the kitchen. He grinned, his cheeks and apron dusted with flour. "Or ogling, unless I am the subject of said ogle."
"You heard the man," Pumpkin teased. "What'll it be, loiterer?"
"I got your 'loiterer' right here, ya scamp," Apple Bloom snickered. She placed the money on the counter. "Uh, chocolate milkshake, pumpkin spice latte—"
"White girl," came a cough from the kitchen.
"—and hot chocolate, please." Apple Bloom finished, drumming her fingers on the counter.
Pumpkin gave her her change, ringing back the order for the workers in back to produce. "He's been waiting for you all day, you know," she commented.
Apple Bloom's eyes widened. "He's here?"
"Well, not you specifically, the three of you," she corrected, as if she hadn't heard Apple Bloom's question. "It's a good thing he's cute, or I wouldn't have put up with all his whining."
Apple Bloom snorted. "I'll be sure to tell him."
"Tell me what?"
The two girls looked up, noticing the young man approaching them, the saloon doors still swinging from his departure. He wore a dark green shirt and jeans, both covered by a flour-stained apron. He was smiling, dusting his hands of the powdery substance as he reached them, swinging himself up onto the counter to sit next to Pumpkin.
"Heya, Spike," the farmer breathed, leaning forward on the counter and trying her hardest not to blush.
"Hey, Bloom," he returned. "Tell me what?" he repeated.
"Pumpkin thinks you're cute," she answered, to the younger girl's mortification.
"Of course she does," Spike said, smiling. "Have you seen me? I'm freaking delicious."
The two girls laughed together nervously, anything to prevent themselves from agreeing with him out loud.
"So, we still on for tonight?" he asked, excitedly.
"You're gonna be able to make it?" she replied, just as excited.
"I'm off at four," he said, shrugging and grinning. 
Pumpkin's face fell. "Are you two going on a date?"
"Chill, pipsqueak," Spike said, sniggering.
"Present!" called out a familiar, lilting boy's voice.
"Not you, Pipsqueak, this pipsqueak," Spike said, pointing downward at his young friend.
"Roger that!" the young man said, turning back to his table, laughing.
"To answer your question, no," Spike said, rubbing her shoulder. "Just a friendly little get-together me and some friends are having."
Pumpkin gave Spike her best puppy dog eyes. "Can I come?"
"I want some of your brown sugar," Pound Cake sung from the back.
"Shut it, Pound," the young girl said, gritting her teeth. 
"Sorry P," Spike said, getting down off the counter. "Maybe when you're older."
She huffed, crossing her arms. "Fine."
"Hey," he said, leaning over and kissing her on the cheek, "be good and we'll go see a movie tomorrow. Okay?"
"Okay," she said, beaming. She sat up in her seat and fidgeted as the two walked away.
"I'll bring out your orders, be right back," he told Apple Bloom, jogging back to the kitchen.
Apple Bloom smiled in return, and she allowed her eyes to rest low upon his retreating figure.
"God bless Equestria," she said to herself, and her cheeks grew warm.



"What about Snips?"
"What about Snips?"
Apple Bloom returned to the table to find her two friends in the middle of a lighthearted argument.
"Well," Sweetie Belle said, shrugging, "it is the holiday season, and I feel like he doesn't get invited to enough parties. Or any."
Scootaloo snorted, crossing her arms over her orange shirt and long-sleeved undershirt. "This is a celebration, Sweetie Belle, not a pity party. We need guys to show up, but we aren't desperate."
Sweetie Belle wrinkled her nose. "Rude much?"
Scootaloo shrugged at her. "Honest much?"
"What are you two going on about now?" Apple Bloom asked, sitting down next to Sweetie Belle.
"We're trying to think of boys to invite to the party," Sweetie Belle said, "and Scootaloo is being uncooperative."
"Hey," the other girl protested, "just because I don't want tonight to be a taco-fest doesn't mean I have to lose my standards." She readjusted herself on her cushion. "Don't get mad at me because I've got real taste."
Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes. "Fine, then. Why don't you make a suggestion for a change?"
Scootaloo drummed the table with her fingers. "Button Mash," she answered.
"Too geeky," Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle said in unison.
"Featherweight?" she suggested, shrugging.
"Too skinny," Sweetie Belle said.
"Can't hold his liquid," Apple Bloom added.
"Big Mac?" Scootaloo proposed, snickering.
"Screw you," Apple Bloom said, frowning.
"Gotta buy her a drink first," Sweetie Belle said, giggling. 
"Already did, it's on its way," the redhead countered.
"Fine," Scootaloo sighed, making an exaggerated show of removing her top.
"Woo!" Sweetie Belle whooped. "Make it rain dollar bills, y'all!"
Scootaloo snickered, while Apple Bloom only shook her head and smiled.
"For the last time, Scoot," Spike said, mock-sternful, strolling up with their drinks and placing them on the table, "no stripteasing in the store!"
"I can only promise to attempt to restrain my inner stripper," she said, holding a hand to her heart.
"Hey stranger!" Sweetie Belle exclaimed, getting up and hugging her friend. "Are you off yet?"
"Not yet," he said, "but I am in a few minutes." He slapped Scootaloo playfully on the shoulder. "I'll see you three later, I have to finish up this shift."
The Crusaders bade him farewell, watching as he meandered back to the kitchen.
"I could watch that boy walk all day," Scootaloo groaned, dragging a hand to her forehead to feel her temperature, as Sweetie Belle unwrapped her straw and Apple Bloom muttered a quick prayer over her food.
"He walks like he's hung," Sweetie Belle added, sipping on her latte.
Apple Bloom stared at her. "Sweetie Belle, you've never even seen a guy naked before. How would you know how a hung guy walks?"
Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes. "Body language, Apple Bloom. Duh. Have you ever seen a confident-looking guy who puts a lot of swing into his step? Adjusts his pants a lot?"
Apple Bloom looked down in contemplation for a moment, then her face turned to one of horror. "Big Mac does that," she said, cradling her head in her arms.
Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle could only laugh at their friend's misery. "Okay," the former said, wiping her mouth, "but seriously, so far Spike's the only guy we've got down for tonight. We need some more dudes, or the whole thing's going to be a drag."
Sweetie Belle shrugged. "Maybe Diamond Tiara's going to bring some guys."
Apple Bloom shook her head. "She ain't exactly on good terms with anyone other than herself. 'Sides, remember what she said?"
Scootaloo nodded. "She doesn't want any guys showing up for the wrong reasons."
Sweetie Belle wrinkled her nose. "What does that even mean?"
"Means we've got a wholesome reputation," Apple Bloom said, crossing her arms and taking a sip from her hot chocolate. She looked outside, at the snow-covered town, the flurries beating themselves against the window. "If we bring some guys that fit our standards, then chances are they're gonna want to have a good time. For all Diamond Tiara knows, anyone she invites would just wanna mess her dad's house up and get buck wild."
Sweetie Belle shrugged. "Makes sense. But it's not like there's a bunch of boys in this town to begin with."
"Much less good-looking ones," Scootaloo agreed.
"What about Rumble?" Apple Bloom proposed.
The other two girls considered it for a while, before nodding. "He seems normal enough. Hot brother too."
"The mohawk ruins it for me," Sweetie Belle confessed. "Rumble's a good choice, though. Who else?"
"Lickety Split?" Apple Bloom proposed.
"No jocks," the other two said.
Apple Bloom sighed. "I don't really know any other guys around our age I'd feel comfortable around. Unless you guys have some ideas, we might just have to settle for two."
Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle looked at each other, uncertain.



"They're here."
Diamond Tiara looked up from her book. "Finally." She got up from her leather armchair and looked out the frosted window. A sleek black car had just pulled up to the house, bathed in the waning sunlight, and out of it poured five figures. The young heiress squinted. "Did they really only manage to bring two guys?"
Silver Spoon sidled up next to her, pushing back her glasses. "That looks an awful lot like Rumble. And Pipsqueak, too."
Diamond Tiara cursed. "Don't they know better than to bring guys from school?"
Her silver-haired friend looked to her, curious. "Why wouldn't they? It's safer than bringing a stranger."
"Duh," Diamond said, shedding her jacket, now wearing a black, form-fitting shirt. "But bringing boys from our class means loose ends if they talk about tonight. You don't shit where you eat, Silver Spoon."
Silver Spoon wrinkled her nose at the euphemism. "If you say so."
Diamond Tiara sighed. "At least my dad's gone already." She slipped on some socks and made her way down the stairwell. She made it to the front door just as they knocked. She waited an appropriate interval, then opened the door, fixing Apple Bloom with a glare.
"Hey, DT," she said. She was carrying a spotted mat in one hand and an empty bottle in the other. 
"Where's the rest of you?" she asked. She frowned at Rumble. He was good-looking enough, but he had a forgettable face. Pipsqueak was likeable, but his accent always made her want to choke him out.
"We couldn't round up many other people," the farmer confessed, shrugging. "Can we come in?"
Diamond Tiara worked her jaw, stepping to the side to allow her guests entrance. Scootaloo and Rumble nodded at her, the latter somewhat nervous, and Sweetie Belle had the nerve to prance up to her and embrace her in a bear hug. "Diamond Tiara! I haven't seen you in hours!"
"Your tits are breaking my rib cage," the young heiress managed to choke out.
Sweetie Belle held her out at arms length, grasping her by the shoulders. "You're wearing the perfume I got you!" she said, happily.
"I am," Diamond Tiara confirmed, smiling. Because of the two's similarities, from their interests down to their appearances, Sweetie Belle was the Crusader Diamond Tiara was most willing to tolerate.
Seeing the person coming down the staircase, Sweetie Belle's visage turned roguish, and she said under her breath, "Help me piss off Silver Spoon."
Diamond Tiara raised an eyebrow, smirking but saying nothing. 
"Are you wearing the flavored lip gloss I brought you too?" Sweetie Belle asked, fluttering her eyes coquettishly. She noticed Silver Spoon's frown from the edge of her sight.
Diamond Tiara had to resist laughing at the audacity of her friend's prank. "I might be. What's it to you?"
Sweetie Belle dipped the older girl, kissing her on the lips and making plenty of smacking noises. Scootaloo barked in laughter, Apple Bloom crossed her arms and rolled her eyes, and Rumble had very suddenly become interested in his shoelaces. Pipsqueak cursed himself for being slow with the camera. Silver Spoon's face was red, and though the young girl was scowling, she said nothing.
Diamond Tiara laughed into her friend's mouth, giving Sweetie a solid smack on the rear as she returned to her standing position. "I wish I knew how to quit you," she said, leaning on her friend.
"Most do," Sweetie Belle replied. She turned to close the front door, before a voice called out, "Hold on! I'm almost there."
Diamond Tiara blinked. "Who's that? I thought you said you only brought Rumble and Pipsqueak."
Apple Bloom shook her head. "No, I said we couldn't round up any more people. Spike's just bringing in the food."
The name sounded familiar, but no face came to mind. "Woman, if you brought a gang banger to my  house—"
"Hey! Sorry I took so long, kind of hard to see with all this stuff blocking my eyes."
Diamond Tiara turned toward the door.
And stared.
"Uh, hey?"
Calmly, Diamond Tiara turned to Apple Bloom. "Who is that?"
Apple Bloom raised an eyebrow. "That's Spike, DT. He's Princess Twilight's assistant, and he works at the bakery. You see him all the time."
"No, I don't," she replied. She looked at him again. He was fit, lightly tanned, and boyish. Green hair, green eyes, with the pose of a smart aleck, albeit a gentle one.
She continued to stare at him. "Who made the food?"
"I did," he answered. He sounded kind of strained. "Man, it's a good thing these boxes aren't heavy or anything, or this would be really difficult to handle."
Diamond Tiara turned to Apple Bloom, raising an eyebrow. "He bakes?" She turned back to Spike, gesturing over her shoulder. "Kitchen's that way, to the right. Can't miss it."
He shuffled past them, thanking her. Once he was out of earshot, Diamond Tiara turned to Apple Bloom. "Where did you find him, and can you get more?"



"Ground rules," Diamond Tiara said, stopping the group once Spike had rejoined them. "No trash. You litter, you leave." She pointed to the corner. "Coat rack is over there. You drop it off there, you pick it up there. My dad has a very keen eye, and if he finds out I had a party without his permission, I will personally make your life a living hell." Spike and Scootaloo winced, while Apple Bloom yawned and Sweetie Belle bounced on the balls of her feet. "Plates and cups are on the cabinets near the fridge. We're using storebought ceramics instead of paper, so we don't leave a trail. Clean up after yourselves."
She made her way into the kitchen, plucking a glazed donut out of a box. "Being your lovely hostess, I get first dibs on each game we decide to do."
"Can we eat yet?" Pipsqueak asked, reaching for a donut as well.
"No," Diamond Tiara said, smacking his hand. "Shut up."
"Blimey," he muttered, rubbing the bruise. Rumble snickered behind his back. 
"Don't steal anything, I'll notice." She glared at Scootaloo, who rolled her eyes. She turned to the boys. "Being the dominant and obviously superior gender, the girls retain the right to grope and ogle you when they are sufficiently buzzed. You do not have the same privilege."
Spike shrugged, Rumble blinked, and Pipsqueak cursed. "Misandrist," he moped, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Damn right," the hostess said. She pulled out a schedule. "Here's the layout of the night. After the rundown, we all eat and drink. Ten minutes only. The food is clean, but we're going to be having an eggnog and rum mixture to drink, shaken and strained. Get a little friendship lube going."
Rumble's eyes widened. "I wasn't told there was going to be alcohol here. Aren't we all underage?"
Silver Spoon scoffed. "We're teenagers, Rumble. We're supposed to rebel. Read a book."
"It's fine," Sweetie Belle said, bumping Spike with her hip. "It's just to get a buzz going, and it's all mixed in anyway. We probably won't even get that wasted."
Pipsqueak snorted. "Speak for yourself, darling." He pulled out a flask, uncapping it and taking a swig.
Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes, but refrained from commenting. "First game is 'I never'. We're doing the alcohol variation, in small amounts. We'll want to be in control so we can appreciate the rest of the night's activities, but not so much that we'll still have our walls up." She moved to the second item on the list. "After that is Spin the Bottle."
Spike frowned, while Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle made a show of not looking near any male in the room.
Seemingly oblivious, or just not caring, Diamond Tiara continued. "Originally, we were going to do 7 Minutes in Heaven, but we don't have enough people. After that is Truth or Dare, followed by Strip Twister. We end with a movie."
Pipsqueak choked on his drink. "Pardon, did you say Strip Twister?"
She eyed him wearily. "Before you ask, it's exactly what you think it is."
Spike raised a hand. "When is your dad going to be back?"
Diamond Tiara chuckled. "He's out for the weekend. Business in the big city." She turned to face the group of them, though she still seemed to be addressing only Spike. "If you're good, we can make it a sleepover."
Apple Bloom and Silver Spoon frowned at the implications, but they chose not to voice their objections.
"Alright," she said, clapping her hands, "let's get started."



After imbibing their drinks, the group started to get comfortable, feeling the warmth of the altered eggnog seep throughout their bodies.
Spike sidled up to Silver Spoon, asking the bespectacled girl about a book she had rented lately. She spoke lively, laughing and shifting from foot to foot, where a stone-cold sober Silver Spoon would have nodded and uttered one-word responses.
Scootaloo stood next to Pipsqueak, the two of them watching as Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle exchanged small talk, with Rumble occasionally chiming in. Diamond Tiara prepared multiple shots of Mojito with impressive dexterity, as if she had experience pouring drinks.
Once she had finished, she called the group to a rounded table. "Seats," she commanded. Silver Spoon drew out a chair for her, which she sat in. She nodded thanks to her friend, who sat to her right. Sweetie Belle took her other side, next to her Apple Bloom, then Spike, then Scootaloo, Rumble, and Pipsqueak.
"Here are the rules, if you haven't heard them already," Diamond Tiara said, sitting up. "The first person lists an experience they never had. Whoever has had the stated experience takes a shot. After the round is over, the person to the right starts the next round in the same manner. You're in the game so long as you have shots. The winner is the person who ends up being the last person with full shot glasses. We all have five glasses each." She sighed. "I shouldn't have to say this, but please try to make your suggestions unique. The point of the game is to reveal as many secrets about your fellow players as possible." She flipped her hair. "I'll start us off. I've never fantasized about another person at this table."
The group grimaced. Apple Bloom cut her eyes at a grinning Diamond Tiara, taking a shot so quickly that she barely had time to taste it. The young heiress watched as Silver Spoon did the same, trying to avoid her best friend's gaze. No surprise there, Diamond Tiara thought. Pipsqueak knocked back a shot, ahh'ing as he placed it back on the table.
"Interesting," Diamond Tiara said, before nodding to her right. "Next round."
Silver Spoon placed her hands in her lap, contemplating. Finally, she said, "I've never thought about hooking up with a relative of any of the people sitting here."
"Welp," Spike said, shrugging and taking a swig. Sweetie Belle winked obviously at him, taking a shot herself. Scootaloo made a show of not looking at Apple Bloom, who was making a show of glaring at Scootaloo. Finally, the skater took a shot.
"I've got my eye on you," the farmer growled, but Scootaloo hummed, pretending not to hear her.
Rumble took a glass as well, glancing momentarily at Apple Bloom before his eyes darted away.
Diamond Tiara, on the other hand, waited until the farmer was staring at her before taking a drink, never breaking eye contact. Apple Bloom wrinkled her nose.
"Just isn't my day," Pipsqueak said, knocking back another shot.
Rumble chuckled. "You sure you're not just an alcoholic, Pip?"
"Mate," the scruffy young man said, "I'm from Trottingham. Stuff might as well be milk, next to what I'm used to."
"Next round," Silver Spoon said, adjusting her glasses and fidgeting.
"Guess that's me," Pipsqueak said. "Let's see, I've never—hmm, no, did that." He drummed the table. "I—blimey, did that last week." He patted his knee, thinking. "Ah!" he said. "I have never taken nude photos of myself."
The table was silent. Sweetie Belle glanced around, seeing no one reach for their drinks. "Shit," she muttered, taking a swig. 
"Oh my God," Scootaloo said, laughing into her hands. Diamond Tiara made a very obvious "phone me" gesture, mouthing text me that shit silently. Silver Spoon snickered.
"Next round," Sweetie grunted, unamused.
"Guess that's me," Rumble muttered. "I've never been tempted to fool around with someone of the same sex."
"Shit," the girls of the table said, all taking a drink from their collections.
Spike couldn't help but laugh, while Rumble could only watch triumphantly.
Wiping her mouth, Scootaloo said, "Alright then, I've never checked out Cheerilee's ass as she walked by." She grinned at the soured faces of her companions.
Rumble and Pipsqueak both took shots, the latter asking "What?" at Apple Bloom's horrified stare. "It's like a painting, it follows you no matter where you look."
Silver Spoon masked hers with a cough, drinking it when she thought no one was looking.
Spike cracked his knuckles, grinning. It's so simple, it's perfect, he thought to himself. "I've never masturbated."
Pipsqueak rose above the table, slapping the surface. "You lie!"
Spike shook his head, grinning. He struggled to hold in his laughter as he watched the looks on his friend's faces. Apple Bloom's face was red as she quickly downed her shot and placed her head over her arms in mortification. Scootaloo simply shook her head, giving Spike a thumb's up as she downed her shot. Rumble saluted Spike as he inhaled his drink. Sweetie Belle made a show of sticking a finger into her mouth and shaking her head, muttering, "Delicious." She took a swig.
Diamond Tiara made sure to push a glass toward Silver Spoon, ignoring the girl's indignant squawk as she herself emptied another shot glass. "Well played," she said, to which Spike nodded.
Apple Bloom exhaled, her red bangs flying up from her face. "I've never flashed anyone."
Diamond Tiara inhaled another drink, noticing that she was down to her last shot. So was Silver Spoon. 
"I'm out," Scootaloo said, leaning back in her chair. 
Sweetie Belle scooted up in her chair, smiling wickedly. "I've never thought about going down on anyone in this room."
"I'm out too," Diamond Tiara said, smirking as she took her last drink. Silver Spoon muttered the same as she took a swig. 
"Count me out too," Pipsqueak said, to the rest of the table's amusement.
Apple Bloom groaned, head in hand as she downed her penultimate drink.
Only she, Spike, Sweetie Belle, and Rumble remained. At this rate, one of the boys was likely to win. So far, Spike had only drank once, while Rumble still had two glasses remaining.
"I've never had a dream about anyone at the table," Rumble said, grinning. He sat back, crossing his arms.
Apple Bloom pounded her fist on the table, taking her last drink. Spike frowned, taking his second shot.
"I've never gone a day without showering," Spike challenged, smirking when Rumble frowned, taking a shot. The rest of the group let out a collective "eww."
Finally, Sweetie Belle rose to the table. She grinned, cutting her eyes at both boys. "I hope you boys are feeling honest." She nudged Diamond Tiara, and the other girl knew that her friend was up to something.  "I've never checked out Diamond Tiara since we've arrived at her house."
The heiress's eyes bulged at her friend's audacity. Scootaloo cackled, slapping the table, while Apple Bloom was stuck between glaring at Sweetie Belle and glaring at Spike.
"Oddly specific." Diamond Tiara chuckled, keeping an eye on both boys. "But you've got guts, girl, I'll give you that."
After a silence, Rumble shrugged, taking his last drink. "I'm out."
Pipsqueak laughed, pouring from his flask into a shot glass and emptying it. 
Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes, but reminded herself to be satisfied later.
Spike coughed, downing his drink, but saying nothing. Apple Bloom looked crestfallen, but likewise remained silent.
The young heiress couldn't have held back a cocky smile if she tried. "Still got it," she said, winking at Apple Bloom.
"I've never groped Diamond Tiara," Spike said, cracking a half-smile as Sweetie Belle sighed and took her last shot.
"Excellent," Diamond Tiara said, beaming. "That was a great start. Let's move this next game to the carpet."
> Don't Tell Your Brother
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Next game is Spin the Bottle," Diamond Tiara declared. "Gather round, peons."
Placing a small piece of cardboard on the beige den carpet, the hostess knelt down, carefully placing the empty beer bottle in the middle.
"You should all know the rules," she said, hands on her hips. "If you don't, then your family must not love you, because that is just pathetic."
Rumble frowned, bracing himself as he sat across from her. "I've never been to any parties before. Thunderlane doesn't like me staying out too late."
Diamond Tiara sighed impatiently, pinching the bridge of her nose. Before she could utter a smart remark, Apple Bloom intervened, shooting her a glare before turning to Rumble. "It's real simple, Rumble," ignoring Scootaloo, who mouthed Who the fuck doesn't know what Spin the Bottle is? "The first person spins the bottle, and whoever the bottle points to, the first person has to kiss." Rumble's eyes widened, and he nodded. "After that, the person next to whoever rolled goes."
Diamond Tiara frowned. "I'm actually glad this was brought up, because that is not how you play Spin the Bottle."
Apple Bloom whipped her head to the young heiress. "What are you going on about now? That is too how you play the game."
"No," Diamond Tiara said, shaking her head, "it's not. Whoever the bottle points at is the one who spins the bottle next."
The farmer scoffed. "That's hardly fair. Some people might go an entire game without a turn."
Diamond Tiara shrugged. "So what? It's a game of chance, it's more fun that way. Besides, my rules," she said, smirking.
The red-haired teenager rolled her eyes as she sat down. "Fine, whatever. Let's just get this game going."
"Are we doing pecks, or French kisses?" Silver Spoon asked, smoothing out her skirt as she sat down next to Diamond Tiara.
"Whatever we feel like," answered her best friend, smiling at Sweetie Belle's whooping.
She reached out, grasping the bottle by the middle, and spun it.
"Ooh!" Sweetie Belle exclaimed, scrambling through her purse, "I've got to get pictures!"
Diamond Tiara rolled her eyes, smiling, before turning her attention back to the still-rotating bottle.
Slowly, ever so slowly it lost its speed, until it barely moved, wobbling on its side. Finally it stopped, pointing directly at Apple Bloom.
The farmer made a sound like gagging. The boys chose not to hold their snickers, while Silver Spoon crossed her arms and looked away.
"Karma," Diamond Tiara said to Apple Bloom, who refused to reply. "Get over here and give me some sugar."
"Heugh," Apple Bloom said, shivering visibly. She made to get up, but paused when Diamond Tiara held up a hand, reaching inside her purse. She rolled her eyes when the lilac-haired girl pulled out lip gloss, coating her lips with it until they sported a healthy sheen.
"Gotta make it juicy for ya," she clarified, puckering her lips. Spike and Pipsqueak were outright laughing, while Scootaloo looked immensely amused.
"Go get em, Tiger!" Sweetie Belle told Apple Bloom, nudging her in the side and brandishing her video camera.
Apple Bloom sighed, scooting next to a smirking Diamond Tiara. "Just a peck," she said.
The older girl rolled her eyes. "As if." She took her former nemesis with one hand on her neck, the other on her side, and moved in for the kill. Her lips brushed against Apple Bloom's, and for a second, the farmer resisted the contact. Finally, Diamond Tiara overpowered her, knocking the Crusader onto her back and ramming her tongue into the shocked farmer's mouth.
Sweetie Belle whooped, pumping her fist into the air. Silver Spoon sat forward, eyeing the two with more than a little interest.
Apple Bloom pounded at Diamond Tiara's chest, but to no avail. The older girl straddled her, kissing her deeply and dominating the less experienced girl with her mouthplay.
After a suitable period of time, the older girl released her captive, grinning wildly as Apple Bloom coughed, red-faced and heaving.
Diamond Tiara gave a playful smack to her hips, before helping her up. "Was that your first kiss?" she whispered, so only the farmer could hear her. 
Apple Bloom brushed her hair behind her ear, before nodding shortly. "Was it that obvious?"
The heiress frowned. "Sorry. Maybe your second one will be better."
The red-haired girl crossed her arms, silent. Then, "I never said it was bad." Without waiting for Diamond Tiara's response, she returned to her seat, keeping her head down.
"Your turn," Spike reminded her, cautious.
"Right," she muttered, reaching out and lazily spinning the bottle. As opposed to Diamond Tiara's spin, Apple Bloom's lasted for all of five seconds, wobbling from front to end before it landed on Spike.
Her eyes bulged, her mouth hung open.
"Lucky," Scootaloo and Rumble both muttered, laying on their stomachs and looking bored. Diamond Tiara scrunched her nose, saying nothing.
"Huh," Spike said, looking surprised. He turned to Apple Bloom, smiling. "How do you want it?"
Apple Bloom shook, eyes as wide as dinner plates. "Come again?"
"Surprise her," Silver Spoon suggested, smirking. Friends or not, she was always up for teasing a Crusader.
"Wait!" Sweetie Belle yelled, holding out a hand. When the two of them looked at her, she said, "You have to say something sexy first!"
Spike rolled his eyes, before turning back to Apple Bloom. He seemed to get into character, his face going blank, before morphing into something mischievous. He hugged her about the waist, pulling her closer to him. Eyes lidded, he said, so low the others had to strain to hear him, "Don't tell your brother about us."
Apple Bloom's heart catapulted as the young girl went rigid in his grasp, only to slowly feel the stress melt away when he touched his lips to hers. She jumped in place when his tongue brushed against her lips, and started to respond in kind, only to whine internally as she felt him pull away.
The farmer stared at him openly, doing her best to reduce her breathing and calm the jackhammering in her chest.
"How was that?" He asked, first to Apple Bloom and then to the rest of the room.
"Naughty," Diamond Tiara answered, grinning and rubbing her hands together. A new gleam sparkled in her eye.
"I thought it was very romantic," Silver Spoon said, hugging herself and smiling. 
"You guys broke off too early!" Sweetie Belle groaned. "I mean, I like how your one liner made it sound like you were having an affair, but come on!"
Spike shrugged. "Maybe next time." He turned back to the girl he had just finished snogging. "Was it good for you?"
Apple Bloom buried her face in her hands for the umpteenth time that evening, only giving a thumbs up.
"Awesome," Spike said, reaching to spin the beer bottle for his turn.
As the bottle rotated, Scootaloo pumped her hand. "Come on, me, come on, me."
Pipsqueak snorted. "Patience, girl. You could at least offer to buy the chap a drink before your money shot."
Scootaloo rewarded him with a slap upside the head for his efforts.
To her disappointment, the bottle creaked to a stop, on Sweetie Belle.
"Oh," the girl behind the camera said, blankly. "OH." She handed her camera to a scowling Scootaloo. "Oh ho ho," she chortled, smoothing out her skirt and winking at Spike, elbowing him. "On your back, boyo."
"Woo!" Silver Spoon and Rumble hollered. Diamond Tiara snickered, scooting around so she could catch every second. 
Apple Bloom peeked out from under her arms, curious.
Spike sat with his arms crossed on his back, highly conscious of the faces hovering above him. "Ha ha," he said dryly. "Let's just get this over with."
"Aww," Sweetie Belle pouted, straddling his stomach. "I was going to make it short, but now I have to drag this whole thing out on principle." She elbowed Apple Bloom. "Take notes."
Pinching Spike's mouth between her two small hands, she descended slowly, blotting out the light of the room above the green-haired boy's face.
"I can practically hear the porno tunes in the background," Pipsqueak drawled.
Finally, Sweetie Belle made contact, mashing her lips against Spike's before darting out and tasting the confines of his mouth. Spike twitched on the ground, starting to flail aimlessly with his arms, until Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara jumped in, pinning them beneath their legs, laughing.
Spike's back arched into the air, and Sweetie took the opportunity to wrap an arm around his torso, bringing him closer. Still kissing him, she widened her mouth, hooking a hand beneath his knee and pulling so the struggling boy had contorted around her body. Her tongue danced around his, pushing it in unexpected places and wrangling it with surprising finesse.
Finally, when the two had to come up for air, Sweetie Belle released him, pulling a handkerchief out of her purse and exaggeratedly patting down her forehead. "Goodness," she said, "I just don't know what came over me."
"I nearly died of asphyxiation," Spike said, chest heaving. "Let me up," he said over his shoulder, to the two girls still holding him captive. Silver Spoon complied, while Diamond Tiara started to do the same, laughing. Her gaze happened to lower, fixing on a point just south of Spike's torso. Her face flushed and she sported a malicious grin.
"Right, next round," she said, still laughing, but for a completely different reason now.
Spike gathered his breath, getting back into position next to Apple Bloom. "Now I know what it feels like," he said, ribbing her.
"Oh, shut up."
"I hope you got that majesty on camera," Sweetie Belle said to Scootaloo. "I'd hate to have to do a retake."
Scootaloo muttered something in the affirmative, then began to hand the camera back. "Not yet," Sweetie Belle reminded her. "I've still got to spin."
Seconds later, the bottle spun again, wobbling about a fair deal until it came to a rest.
"Bloody hell!" Pipsqueak exclaimed, sitting up. "I thought it'd never stop on me!"
"I hope you're moist, lover," Sweetie Belle said, pulling the smaller boy by the collar and kissing him full on the lips, with a brush of tongue making its way inside his mouth. He responded eagerly, pushing into her mouth with equal enthusiasm.
Sweetie Belle's nose wrinkled as she broke the kiss. "You taste like you smell."
Grinning, Pipsqueak shrugged. "What can I say? Used to room with an Irish bloke."
Rumble shook his head. "A lot of things just started to make sense." He nodded to Pipsqueak. "Roll, man."
Cracking his knuckles, the young man leaned forward, spinning the bottle and waiting eagerly to see who it would land on.
Rumble.
"Shit," Rumble said, frowning. "Why did I say anything?"
Pipsqueak stretched. "It's fine, mate. Hurt my feelings, why don't you?" He adopted a look of mock hurt.
"About time!" Scootaloo said, cackling. "Pucker up, love birds!"
Silver Spoon coughed into her hand, something that sounded like "yaoi". Diamond Tiara barked in laughter.
Spike shrugged, smirking. "Rules are rules, guys."
"That they are," Pipsqueak said. He turned to Rumble. "Come on, mate. I think you and I both know this thing between us has come to a head."
"What are you talking about," Rumble said.
"Everyone knows about our feelings for each other," Pipsqueak said, conscious of Scootaloo holding back laughter next to him. "Now," he said throatily, "what do you say we put an end to all this blatant. Sexual. Tension."
The rest of the room snorted in laughter, reveling in Rumble's horrified expression.
"I don't—"
Pipsqueak jumped onto his reluctant friend, pulling up Rumble's shirt so his chest was visible. "Don't fight it, mate," Pipsqueak said, affecting a fake moan. "I won't judge if you crack a fatty."
Scootaloo and Spike burst into laughter, faces red. Apple Bloom and Silver Spoon simply watched, blushing and laughing nervously.
Leaning forward, Pipsqueak grasped the back of Rumble's head, pulling him in.
"Just make it quick," Rumble said, grumbling in surrender.
"That's how I do it, babe," Pipsqueak said. He bent down, pecked Rumble on the lips, and got up.
Scootaloo stared, her laughter subsiding. "That was kind of anticlimatic."
"Also how I do it, babe," Pipsqueak said, shrugging. He turned to Rumble. "Your turn to spin, fuck boy."
"Right," Rumble said, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. He spun the bottle, frowning when it landed between Silver Spoon and Diamond Tiara. "I'm still new to this, what does it mean when it's stuck between two people?"
Scootaloo shrugged. "Usually means a re-spin."
"Or," Sweetie Belle said, grinning mischievously, "a three-way kiss."
"Karma," Apple Bloom said to Diamond Tiara, who only spared her an acidic stare. The farmer laughed.
"Not that I'm complaining," Rumble said, his face dusted with the hint of a blush, "but why I do keep getting the weird rolls?"
"Let's get this over with," the heiress said. Silver Spoon was decidedly less opposed to the idea, going by her squirming.
The bespectacled girl hooked an arm around her best friend's waist, ignoring her stare as she tugged on Rumble's hand. "Try not to fall in love."
Diamond Tiara laughed, as Rumble chuckled nervously, moving closer. Silver Spoon raised her eyebrow, smirking. "That goes double for you, sister."
"Is that right?" Diamond Tiara said, grasping her two partners by their heads and pulling them closer, her open mouth waiting.
The sensation was new, if not unpleasant for Rumble. Certainly disorienting, since none of them could physically get close enough to take any of the others into their mouth. Their tongues overlapped, batting at one person and then the other, without regard for who was who.
Rumble was the first to pull back, after about a full thirty seconds of kissing. His eyes were wide. "That was...different."
Silver Spoon shrugged. "More for me," she said, before dipping her best friend and kissing Diamond Tiara open-mouthed.
The young heiress jolted, surprised at her usually reserved friend's forward actions. After their lips separated, Diamond Tiara brushed her hair back. "Tasty."
"I thought so." Silver Spoon said, smiling. "Nice lipstick," she said, dryly.
"Who turns next?" Spike asked, hands mysteriously covering his lap.
Diamond Tiara paused. Finally, she said, "Silver Spoon, you go. You haven't gone yet."
"Sure thing," she said, nodding. She spun the bottle, humming as she waited for it to stop. The tone soured when it landed on Sweetie Belle.
"It must be my lucky day!" Sweetie Belle said, clasping her hands to her heart and batting her eyes at the thoroughly disappointed Silver Spoon.
"Oh, lighten up, Silver Spoon," Scootaloo said, smirking. "It's not every day you get to tongue fuck someone you hate."
"Excuse you," the silver-haired girl said, disgusted. She turned to Sweetie Belle, frowning. "Make it quick."
"You people never learn," Sweetie Belle said, chuckling. She frowned when she saw Silver Spoon close her eyes, readying herself for a peck. Like hell, she said to herself. 
She planted herself beside the girl, pulling her into a deep kiss, laughing into her mouth when she felt the taller girl attempt to protest and pull out. But Sweetie's grip was insistent, and while her unwilling partner struggled against her chest, a wandering hand traced its way down Silver Spoon's thigh, hiking up the bewildered girl's skirt and grabbing at her rear possessively.
Finally, Sweetie Belle released her victim, winking as she saw the girl's loathing scowl. "We should do that again sometime."
"No, we shouldn't," Silver Spoon said, crossing her arms.
Sweetie Belle rolled her eyes, going to spin the bottle for her second time. She frowned when it landed between her and Pipsqueak. "What is it with this thing?"
Diamond Tiara shrugged. "You already kissed Pipsqueak. Re-spin."
"I really don't mind a round two," Pipsqueak interjected.
"Shut up. Re-spin," Diamond Tiara restated.
Sweetie Belle did as told, patting her knees as she waited for it to land. Finally, the nose of the bottle came to a stop on Apple Bloom. "Ooh yeah," she said, dancing in place as the apple farmer blanched.
"Why do I keep getting girls?" she moaned, rubbing her temples.
Spike coughed next to her.
"Girl, you know you've always wanted what I was selling," Sweetie Belle teased, sitting next to her country friend, eyes lidded. "Top or bottom?"
"Neither," Apple Bloom said dryly. "You mouth-rape everyone you go up against."
Sweetie Belle giggled. "I haven't gotten any complaints so far."
"Hmm?" Silver Spoon said, glaring.
"Top," Sweetie Belle repeated, blinking slowly, "or bottom?" Her smile was more than friendly.
Apple Bloom sighed, head in hands. "Top," she muttered.
"Booyah," Sweetie Belle said, laying on her back and pulling Apple Bloom down with her. Her hand found its way to Apple Bloom's rear, slapping it soundly.
"Sweetie," Apple Bloom said, unamused.
"What?" Sweetie Belle said innocently. "I'm an ass girl. Not my fault you've got a donk."
"Yes you do," Diamond Tiara purred, smacking Apple Bloom on the rear as well. "Hngh. Apple bottom."
Apple Bloom opened her mouth to protest, only to be caught by surprise when Sweetie Belle ensnared her in a kiss. She struggled to separate from her friend, but to no avail. The smaller girl wrapped her shapely legs around Apple Bloom's waist, and if she minded that her skirt was riding up, she didn't mention it. Indeed, she took Apple Bloom's flailing hand, placing it on her bare thigh.
"I love this game," Spike sighed. Rumble and Pipsqueak nodded in agreement.
Apple Bloom managed to break free. "Sweetie Belle!" she admonished, eyes wide.
"What?" the girl asked, shrugging. "I need lots of affection."
"What does that have to do with you forcing yourself on people?"
"Oh, shut up and roll, Apple Bloom!" Scootaloo grumbled. "Blame your genes for making you so appealing to women."
The farmer stared loathsomely at Scootaloo, spinning the bottle halfheartedly as she struggled to get up off of Sweetie Belle, who gave her one last pelvic thrust.
"Good run, lover," the girl teased, giving her another hearty smack on the bottom when Apple Bloom rolled her eyes.
"Here's hoping I get someone normal this time," she grunted.
The bottle landed on Scootaloo.
"Shit," she muttered.
"Finally!" Scootaloo said, exasperated. "I don't even mind that it's a girl, I've been waiting here forever!" She leaned forward and pecked Apple Bloom on the mouth, decking Pipsqueak in the chest when he booed her.
"That," he wheezed, "was severely lacking in passion."
Scootaloo ignored him, spinning the bottle and sitting on her hands, eager. The bottle stopped on Rumble.
She raised an eyebrow. "Not bad," she said, before looking to her classmate. "You ready?"
Rumble grinned. "You bet." He leaned in and kissed Scootaloo on the mouth, smiling when she sighed into his mouth. She placed a hand on his shoulder, drawing him in closer. He thumbed her waist, feeling his fellow athlete's build and palming her washboard stomach. She did the same, hand riding under his shirt as she felt his pectorals.
"Now it's getting interesting," Sweetie Belle purred, smirking as she watched through the camera.
"Whoa," Spike said, eyes wide. He kept waiting for the two to stop so the game could continue, but when Rumble's hand disappeared into Scootaloo's shirt and she did nothing to stop him, he figured that they probably weren't going to.
"Geez, lovebirds," Diamond Tiara said, making the universal 'time-out' sign, "save some for later."
"Oh my," Silver Spoon said, fanning herself. "Is that what's happening later? I can do later."
The two disconnected, Scootaloo punching Rumble on the shoulder affectionately and licking her lips. "Later is good."
"Oh God," Apple Bloom moaned. "My best friends are sex addicts."
"About time you found out," Diamond Tiara said, checking her schedule. "Next is truth or dare." She eyed the nervous redhead next to her and the laidback rascal adjacent to her. "Should be interesting."
> The Thunder Down Under
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Same rules as last time," Diamond Tiara said, grabbing a throw pillow and clutching it to her chest as she sat prone upon the carpet. "Roll, the victim chooses truth or dare, et and cetera. They have to do or reveal whatever the asker commands, within reason." She flipped her hair over her shoulder. "If you refuse to do either," she said, glaring pointedly at Apple Bloom, "you will be banned from the rest of the games. And forced to watch."
She stared significantly at Spike, who happened to be looking in another direction, before returning her gaze to Apple Bloom. The farmer exchanged no reply, but Diamond Tiara knew that she would understand her silent message.
The snow was coming down in droves, painting the youth's view of the outside as a kaleidoscope of white. Any hint of daytime had long-since vanished, gone behind the cover of winter's approach. The wind battered against the cover of the house, producing an eerie chatter that evoked the impression of mourning spirits.
Sweetie Belle shivered, hugging her arms to her chest and wishing, not for the first time that evening that she'd worn something more protective than a simple white dress.
"Hey, DT," she spoke up, shivering, "is it okay if I go make some hot cocoa for everyone?"
Diamond Tiara perked up. "Great idea, I'll help you make some." She spun the bottle before getting up from her place on the floor. She winked at her friend once her back was to the others. "You guys can get started without us, we can hear you from the kitchen." She clutched Sweetie Belle by the arm, gentle but firm. The other girl glanced at her, wondering at her gesture, but Diamond Tiara said nothing.
"It landed on Silver Spoon!" Scootaloo exclaimed.
"Oh?" Diamond Tiara said, back to the stove as she looked back into the den. "Truth or dare, Spoon?"
The grey-haired girl shrugged. "Dare, I guess."
Diamond Tiara's grin was unsettling. "I dare you to take off your glasses and give them to the cutest boy in the room."
The group ooh'ed, wondering at Silver Spoon's choice. The girl grimaced, before taking her glasses off and squinting due to her impaired vision.
She glanced at Spike, only to receive a stare that could kill from Apple Bloom.
She glanced at Rumble, only to receive a "come any closer and I'll gut you" stare from Scootaloo, who was growling.
She glanced at Pipsqueak, only to receive a wink and a flirtatious "come hither" stare. No way in hell, she thought to herself.
"I can't decide," she said, finally.
Diamond Tiara frowned. "Why not?"
"It's...hard to choose?" the girl said, shrugging.
"No, it's not," Diamond Tiara said, rolling her eyes. "For one, we already know Pipsqueak is out."
The boy winced. "Blimey, woman, don't you even care a little for my feelings?"
"No," Diamond Tiara said. "Shut up." She turned to Silver Spoon. "Who's it going to be? Or do you want truth instead?"
The girl hesitated. To be honest, she wanted to choose truth, but she didn't want to be the first person in the game to back out of her dare. That, and Diamond Tiara might axe her from some of the more exciting activities that would follow...
Sighing, she stood up, walking over to give the glasses to Rumble.
The rest of the room stared.
Then, Sweetie Belle asked, "Why did you give the glasses to Scootaloo?"
Silver Spoon turned in the direction of the kitchen. "What are you talking about? I gave them to Rumble."
"Uh," said Scootaloo, handling the girl's glasses, "I don't think so."
"Holy shit," Diamond Tiara laughed, bending over and clutching her stomach, "are you actually that blind?"
Sweetie Belle called out reassuringly, "Don't worry, Silver Spoon. Sometimes I forget that Scootaloo isn't a man too!"
Scootaloo held up a middle finger.
Diamond Tiara laughed again, turning around and reaching for the tea kettle. "I'll allow it. Next round."
As the group watched Silver Spoon spin the bottle, Diamond Tiara stood at the back of the kitchen with her friend.
"So," she said, bumping Sweetie Belle with her hip, "about your friend."
Sweetie Belle looked at her for a few seconds, blinking in confusion. Then, "Who, Spike?"
Looking over her shoulder to make sure neither Apple Bloom nor Silver Spoon were watching, she nodded. "Is he single?" she asked under her breath.
Frowning, Sweetie Belle nodded in the affirmative. "Apple Bloom's had a crush on him for months, though."
The heiress rolled her eyes. "Duh, but look at her. Apparently, she's happy enough just looking at him and sighing when his back is turned."
Sweetie Belle absently heard Silver Spoon dare Rumble to wear his pants on his head, but she paid the game no mind. "DT. He's cute, yeah, but come on. They've been friends since they were kids. Of course she's not going to jump on it right away."
Diamond Tiara wrinkled her nose. "I wasn't saying she should sleep with the guy."
"Wait, what?" Sweetie Belle blinked. "Neither was I. What are you talking about?"
"How's that hot cocoa coming?" Pipsqueak asked from the den.
"Shut up," Diamond Tiara answered loudly. She crossed her arms and sighed in disgust. "Pipsqueak? Why did you even invite him?"
Sweetie Belle shrugged. "He's endearing." She turned back to the kitchen, knowing from many nights at the other girl's house where the food was. "So, why'd you really come over here?"
"You're missing the game," Silver Spoon called, and Diamond Tiara could practically feel the frown in her voice.
"Be over soon," her friend answered. She turned to Sweetie Belle. "Did you know he's hung?" she whispered.
Sweetie Belle's eyes bulged as she whipped her head to the other girl. "How did you find out?" Her rather loud outburst attracted more than a few stares. Backtracking, she added, "That was supposed to be your present this year!"
The others shrugged, turning back to their game.
"Now that would be a present to remember," Diamond Tiara said, though she knew the comment was just a save. "Anyway," she continued, "he got excited after you jumped him during the last game." She stared incredulously at a blushing Sweetie Belle. "I can't believe you managed to miss it."
The younger girl flipped her hair over her shoulder, huffing. "I was preoccupied."
Diamond Tiara hopped onto the counter behind her, swinging her feet in the air and playfully kicking Sweetie Belle on the bottom. After a comfortable silence, she asked, "Would you be mad if I made a pass at him?"
"Yes," Sweetie Belle replied, as if she saw the question coming. Given their knowledge of each other, Diamond Tiara supposed, it wouldn't be surprising.
"Why?"
"A number of reasons," the girl said, turning around once the kettle was heating on the eye of the stove. "I already mentioned how Apple Bloom's into him. Two, he's into my sister. Like, really into her." She crossed her arms. "And he barely even knows you. He's friendly, but he's not open like that."
Diamond Tiara frowned. "That's too bad." At Sweetie Belle's pleased glance, she added, "But if I get a chance, I'm taking it."
"You are not having sex with my friend."
"I never said sex, did I?" Diamond Tiara challenged, wrapping her legs around her friend's waist. "Maybe I'll get a kiss in. You can't be the only one having all the fun."
"Flirting is fine and all," Sweetie Belle said, completely serious, "but watch yourself." 
"Or what?" the heiress said. A laugh from the den brought forth by some antics Pipsqueak had engaged in echoed into the kitchen. "One way or another, I'm getting what I want tonight." She tightened her grip around Sweetie's waist.
Sweetie Belle looked down, then back up at her friend. "You're kidding me."
Diamond Tiara glanced back at the room. The rest of the group was laughing, even Silver Spoon. Pipsqueak was giving a reluctant Rumble a very one-sided lap dance.
Once she was sure that the rest of the room was sufficiently distracted, she turned back around, grasping a surprised Sweetie Belle by the back of her head and pulling her into a deep kiss. Even as her tongue dominated her bewildered friend's, her hand snaked forward, gripping the hem of the white dress and yanking it up. A middle finger traced the line of Sweetie's groin, tugging outward on the lace fabric of the girl's panties, before aiming downward, searching for the source of the pulsing heat.
Diamond Tiara's digit found its mark, the pad of her finger kneading insistently on the lips of her friend's womanhood. 
Sweetie Belle convulsed against her friend, knees buckling and eyes widened. Involuntarily, the gap between her thighs widened as her body tried to brace itself to its welcome invader. She opened her mouth to say something, only to be overwhelmed by the forcefulness of Diamond Tiara's tongue.
The finger, ever demanding, rubbed back and forth, hooking itself inside Sweetie Belle as it slowly pushed inside her. Sweetie Belle whimpered into the kiss, completely at the mercy of her friend. Her eyes, clenched shut, slowly opened as she silently throbbed against the heat between her thighs.
She caught sight of Diamond Tiara, eyes blue and delightfully hostile, staring intensely into her own eyes.
Finally, Diamond Tiara broke the kiss, biting Sweetie Belle's lips as she pulled away. Her arm remained secure around her waist, her finger still forcing itself in and out of Sweetie Belle's body. 
"Here's the thing, Sweetie Belle," Diamond Tiara said, just as the kettle rumbled. "I like you. You're likable." She spoke even as her friend shivered, gaping with a heaving chest and scorching face. "But don't think for a second that you can tell me what to do." Her thumb grazed the clit, pinching down when the girl nearly screamed in confused pleasure. "I may not always get what I want, but not for lack of trying. If I want your friend, that's between the two of us. But," she said, in a low, guttural voice, enunciating every word, "if you give me a reason to come after you, I will. Cross me, and I'll make a damn woman out of you, right here on this counter. Am I understood?"
Sweetie Belle was wide-eyed. Slowly, she nodded, wiping her mouth. She was intimidated, but in her gaze was the quirk of a grin, and in her eyes was a flicker of intrigue.
Diamond Tiara pulled her finger out of her friend, relishing her groan. "I didn't catch that."
"Yes."
"Yes what?"
"Yes ma'am."
Diamond Tiara hopped off of the counter, smiling just as the kettle whistled. "I'm glad we had this talk."



"It's about time y'all finished!" Apple Bloom laughed, in good spirits again. "You missed half the game!"
"Sorry," Sweetie Belle said, placing her hand over her throat when her voice broke.
Scootaloo narrowed her eyes. "You okay? Your voice hasn't cracked like that in forever."
"MMM," Sweetie Belle said, dodging the question, "cocoa." She took a long drink, closing her eyes at the steam. Clearing her throat, she announced, "I'm better now."
She pointedly didn't look at Diamond Tiara.
"So," the heiress said, "who's next?"
"The sex god formerly known as Pipsqueak was the last to go," Pipsqueak said, pointing a finger gun at Rumble and winking.
"Don't you finger gun me, you crotch sorcerer," Rumble grumbled.
"So, you're just in time to see me roll my victim!" Pipsqueak squeaked, twirling the bottle and taking a swig from his flask.
Spike peered at him. "You're a minor. How do you keep getting alcohol?"
"Very carefully," Pipsqueak answered, stoppering the flask with its cap. "Ah! It landed on Sweetie Belle." He turned to her. "Truth or dare, love?"
Sweetie Belle shrugged. "Truth, I guess."
As if he'd been prepared, Pipsqueak asked, "Have you or have you not lost your virginity, and, should you answer in the affirmative, to who, and on a scale of one to ten, how bitching was said cherry popping?"
"Dude!" Scootaloo said, recoiling. Apple Bloom and Silver Spoon were of a similar opinion.
"Oi!" Pipsqueak said. "I just had to give Rumble the best ride of his impressionable young life, I'm due for some lewdity."
"Yeah," Rumble said, "but you kind of seemed into it."
"Can't help it when I lose myself to the rhythm, mate," Pipsqueak said. "Call me the thunder down under."
For a while, Sweetie Belle was silent. "Hey," Apple Bloom asked, nudging her friend, "are you okay?"
"I have," Sweetie Belle answered, looking up. She wrung her hands. "It was one of Rarity's friends, a client who would sometimes visit from out of town."
Spike, Scootaloo, and Apple Bloom stared, eyes as wide as dinner plates.
"Darn, someone beat me to it," Diamond Tiara said, smirking. Silver Spoon looked at her reproachfully, but the young heiress paid her no mind. "What was he like?"
Sweetie Belle tugged at her skirt, working her jaw and plucking at the carpet. She finally said, "Short and graceful, I guess. Bright sky-blue hair cut short, long legs." She sighed, rubbing her head. "Really soft lips. Soft spoken."
Pipsqueak scrunched his nose. "Didn't know you were into traps."
Scootaloo smacked him upside the head.
Apple Bloom placed her hand on Sweetie Belle's thigh. "What was his name?" she asked softly.
"Coco. Coco Pommel."
The farmer blinked. "You seduced a gay man?"
"It was a woman," Sweetie Belle said, shrugging.
Apple Bloom removed her hand from Sweetie Belle's thigh, eyes wide in an Oh God expression.
Scootaloo stared, mouth gaping as Silver Spoon's glasses fell into her lap. "So, you're saying you're—"
"Bisexual." Sweetie Belle said, affecting a halfhearted grin, though it didn't reach her eyes.
The group was silent for a moment, trying to wrap their minds around the news.
Finally, Rumble asked, "One to ten?"
Sweetie Belle shrugged. "Six, I guess."
Her gaze flicked to Diamond Tiara for the briefest of instances. "I've had better."



After the incredibly awkward silence, Sweetie Belle spun the bottle. She grimaced when it landed on Apple Bloom.
"Truth," the farmer said, looking anywhere but at her friend. Her face was red.
For a moment, Sweetie Belle was at a loss for a suggestion. She was devising so many hellish questions for Diamond Tiara if she managed to roll her, that she neglected to think of any for any of the others.
Then, "What would you do if Cheerilee wanted to marry your brother?"
Apple Bloom blinked in surprise. "Why," she said, considering, "I don't know. It's been so long since I've thought about it." She smiled. "But I'd be all for it, I reckon. She's as good as family already, far as I'm concerned."
Sweetie Belle smiled. Anything to get your mind off of my chronic bouts of dykeness.
Apple Bloom, now in good spirits once again, reached forward, spinning the bottle. As it slowed, it nosed its way towards Rumble, who groaned. "Please, no more lap dances."
Apple Bloom rolled her eyes, smiling. "Relax, I ain't as coldhearted as the rest of 'em."
Rumble relaxed, grinning. "In that case, dare!"
Apple Bloom remained smiling. "I dare you to switch shirts with Spike."
Rumble frowned, though he wasn't entirely put off. "I am learning so much right now." He removed his dark navy shirt, trading it for Spike's dark green. None of the Crusaders showed any restraint with their admiration.
"You and me both," Scootaloo said, eyeing the boy's athletic physique.
Sweetie Belle simply nodded, sighing as her camera made artificial shuttering noises.
"Anyway," Rumble muttered, spinning the bottle once more. It came to a stop on Scootaloo. The two of them grinned. Leaning over, he whispered into Scootaloo's ear. She laughed, slapping a hand to her mouth.
"Later," she promised, to the boy's delight.
Diamond Tiara frowned. "What was it?"
Scootaloo rolled her eyes. "It was a dare. Duh."
Silver Spoon stared critically at them. "You going to do it or what?"
"I specifically dared her to do the dare at a future point in time," Rumble said, smirking. "You'll know it when you see it."
Before they could protest, Scootaloo cackled, spinning the bottle. "You'll see it, alright. If you're lucky."
The bottle spun, landing on Spike. He grinned, stretching. "Dare me, woman."
Scootaloo raised an eyebrow, smirking. "I dare you to tell every person here their most attractive physical feature." She winked at Apple Bloom.
"Fine," Spike said, though he seemed kind of let down. "Scoot has great abs." The girl pumped her fist in the air. "Rumble smells nice." Rumble blinked. "Pipsqueak has a nice voice."
"Like hell," Diamond Tiara muttered.
Spike continued, "Sweetie Belle has the nicest skin."
"And tongue," she coughed.
He rolled his eyes. "Silver Spoon has the best legs."
Silver Spoon blinked. "I do?"
Spike shrugged, grinning. "I could watch you walk all day."
"Oh my God," she said, mortified by the flattering compliment. Diamond Tiara barked out a laugh.
"Diamond Tiara has the best hair," he said, shrugging.
The heiress returned the shrug. Can't win 'em all, I guess.
"And," he said, dragging out the word, "AB here has the nicest face." He hugged her about the shoulder.
Apple Bloom blinked. "Come again?"
"Aww!" Sweetie Belle said, clasping her hands to her head. She shot a significant look at Diamond Tiara, who frowned.
"Well, you've got nice eyes, and freckles are always endearing." He smiled uncertainly. "I think you look kind of adorable."
Apple Bloom's face fell, as the rest of the girls in the room could only turn to their sides and mouth, Oh, SHIT.
Diamond Tiara stared back at Sweetie Belle, as if to say, What did I tell you? The other girl could only shake her head, not trusting herself to speak. Her shoulders heaved with repressed laughter.
Spike looked at the rest of the group. "What? What did I say?"
Pipsqueak and Rumble could only shake their heads. "Boy," Pipsqueak said, "you done fucked up now."
The green-haired youth frowned, glancing from the other girls, who were trembling with restrained laughter, to Apple Bloom, who looked sullen and petulant.
"Hey," he started, but she shrugged away from him. His frown deepened, and he couldn't help but feel frustrated at his ignorance.
Finally, he gave up, rubbing his face with his hands. Lowly, so no one but Apple Bloom could hear, he muttered, "You tasted good, too."
Like a rod of steel in her spine, Apple Bloom sat up. Shocked, she looked at Spike, who suddenly became interested in the drapes.
She frowned, absently licking her lips to see if any trace of him remained there.
> The House Always Wins
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"And now, for my favorite game of the evening."
Diamond Tiara kicked the empty bottle off to the side. "Go get the mat," she told Apple Bloom.
Seconds later, the red-haired farmer returned with the Twister mat, frowning. "I thought we were just going to play the regular version of the game."
Diamond Tiara scoffed. "Where would be the fun in that?" She narrowed her eyes. "Or maybe, you just don't think you can win."
Apple Bloom wasn't intimidated. "I know for a fact that I can win. Just doesn't seem like a wholesome game."
"Of course it isn't," Pipsqueak yawned. "Since when has Diamond Tiara ever been wholesome?"
The heiress slapped him upside the head. "Shut up." Rolling out the mat with her foot, she grabbed the small cardboard square and spinner that came with it. "Two people go at once," she explained. "Usually you can fit more than two, but it'll last longer since we only have seven people. The person who spins calls out the color and body part, and whoever's on the mat has to try and touch that spot. You can readjust yourself if you need to, but you can't touch another spot while doing it.
"You can't touch the spot someone else is touching. The catch," she said, holding up a finger, "is that you don't lose if you miss a spot. Instead, you strip off one article of clothing for every time you miss a spot. You lose when you run out of clothes to strip, or forfeit. If your clothes come off, they stay off."
Pipsqueak whistled, and Scootaloo crossed her arms, frowning. Apple Bloom looked a mixture of stricken and interested.
A crooked smile crossed Diamond Tiara's face. "And, because I'm a sick fucker, this is going to be a last-man-standing game. You can do whatever it takes to make the other person mess up."
"Oh, come on!" Apple Bloom yelled, indignant. "Why don't you all start ruttin' and be done with it?"
"Are you volunteering?" Diamond Tiara asked, smirking.
She scoffed. "In your dreams."
"Every night, babe," the heiress taunted. She turned to the rest of them. "Who's on first?" She eyed Sweetie Belle, who had suddenly become interested in the color of her toenails.
Finally, when it seemed as if no one would volunteer, Pipsqueak sighed. "Well, I guess I'll be—"
"No," Diamond Tiara interrupted, "shut up." She turned to Spike. "I've seen the least of you, so you'll go on first."
He shrugged. "Fine by me. It's all been pretty tame so far anyway."
The hostess narrowed her eyes. "Excuse me?"
"No offense," Spike said, frowning and holding his hands up in a placating gesture. "It's just that aside from a few instances," he glanced at Sweetie Belle, "most of my turns have been kind of dull."
Diamond Tiara blinked. "All you had to do was say so." She threw the spinner at Pipsqueak, who just barely avoided a corner to the eye. "I'll be your partner."
Out of the corner of her vision, she could see Apple Bloom tense. Sweetie Belle frowned, but a friendly stare froze her in place.
The two stepped forward to the mat. "Lucky," Pipsqueak grumbled, spinning the tile. "Left hand green," he called out.
Spike and Diamond Tiara knelt down, placing their hands to the correct colored circles. They sat facing each other.
"Right hand yellow."
Diamond Tiara grumbled, turning around so her feet faced the group of spectators. Spike simply crossed his arms.
"Someone's been doing squats," Pipsqueak muttered. 
"I'm wearing a skirt, jackass," Diamond Tiara growled. "You can't see anything."
"Who said I was talking about you, sweetcheeks?" Pipsqueak said. "Left hand blue."
The two adjusted themselves so they were facing each other on opposite sides of the map, arms crossed at the elbows. "Can't fault you for looking," Spike chuckled.
"You know it, babe," Pipsqueak answered. "Left foot yellow."
"Crap," Spike muttered, trying to shift his leg in front of his crossed arms. He failed, tipping over onto his side. "Dammit!"
"Strip!" the girls from the sideline called, whooping.
Diamond Tiara smirked, thankful for her gymnastic lessons as she balanced perfectly on the mat. She eyed the grumbling young man as he whipped his shirt off and threw it to the side. He was more solid than Pipsqueak, but leaner than Rumble. Instead, his stomach was plated, nearly flat except for a developing six pack and a pronounced waist line. She was surprised to see that he had absolutely no hair on his torso.
"If I had dollar bills," Sweetie Belle said, "I'd throw them."
"Should I throw them?" Silver Spoon asked, reaching for her purse. "Is that something people do?"
Apple Bloom sighed. "I could eat off of that stomach."
Scootaloo merely cocked her head, cracking a smile as the farmer blushed and covered her face at what had just slipped out of her mouth.
Struggling, Spike mirrored Diamond Tiara's pose, pointedly ignoring her haughty stare.
"Right then, if we're all done lusting," Pipsqueak said, "Right foot green."
Spike frowned, turning around as he struggled to contort himself to reach the spot. After a moment's struggle, he succeeded.
"Dammit," Diamond Tiara barked, falling on her back and jarring her elbow. She grunted as she rubbed the sore joint. Because of her previous pose, she was unable to reach out with her other foot without letting go of another spot.
"Strip!" Rumble, Pipsqueak, and Silver Spoon yelled, all charismatic. Apple Bloom smirked and Sweetie Belle hoisted the camera.
Rolling her eyes, Diamond Tiara got to her knees, hooking her hands beneath her black shirt.
"Oh dear God," Pipsqueak said, sighing.
The shirt reached Diamond Tiara's stomach, revealing a well-toned, lightly muscled abdomen, with an inward-belly button.
Rumble started to cry, holding himself as he took pictures on his cell phone.
Finally, the shirt slipped over Diamond Tiara's head. The heiress tossed it to the side, where Silver Spoon and Pipsqueak snatched it out of the air.
"I am committing this scent to memory," he said when he caught Diamond Tiara's disgusted look. Silver Spoon shuddered into the shirt.
Spike whistled upon seeing the young woman, nude from the waist up except for a black satin bra. "Not bad."
Diamond Tiara posed casually, a hand on her hip. "I like to think so."
After a period marked by inhaling and sighing, Pipsqueak allowed Silver Spoon to have the shirt. "Alright, he said, "let's continue."
"Start from scratch," Diamond Tiara commanded. She and Spike once again stood at the edge of the mat, eyeing each other.
Pipsqueak saluted her. "Yes sir." He spun the arrow on the colored board. "Aaaand, left foot green."
Spike placed a foot on the edge of the mat, only to be surprised when Diamond Tiara stepped directly next to him. "You playing for keeps now?"
"I always play for keeps," she answered, not missing a beat. Without hesitation, she reached a hand out to stroke his stomach. "Do you work out?"
Spike raised an eyebrow at her forwardness, though he didn't push her away. "I do a lot of lifting and carrying at the bakery."
Her eyes narrowed ever so slightly. "Is that right?"
"Ahem," Pipsqueak said, clearing his throat. "Thank you ever so much, Diamond, for eye-fucking my best friend." He ignored her stare, as well as Apple Bloom's. "Now, if you would be ever so kind, direct your right feet to a blue circle."
Spike simply widened his stance, still facing Diamond Tiara. "What about you? Are you into sports?"
Diamond Tiara crouched down, making it so Spike would have to reach by her in some manner if another spot down the mat was called. "I get up every morning to do Pilates."
Spike raised an eyebrow for more than one reason. "Who's your teacher?"
"I'm self-taught," she answered.
"Left hand yellow," Pipsqueak called.
Faster than Spike could reach down, Diamond Tiara darted forward, claiming the only yellow spot within Spike's immediate reach. "Sorry," she said, not remorseful in the least.
Spike frowned. If he reached over Diamond Tiara, she could easily buck him off with her back and cause him to lose another round.
So instead, he went under.
In a rare show of flexibility, he removed his right foot, carefully sliding it under Diamond Tiara's outreached hand, startling her. He successfully managed to regain his footing,  grinning as he gripped Diamond Tiara's knee and braced himself against it as his left hand found the space directly behind her.
"Wow," Silver Spoon said, surprised. "Didn't know he was that flexible."
"Don't sneeze, DT!" Sweetie Belle called out, laughing.
The girl snorted. "Having fun down there?" she asked Spike, whose face was directly in front of her exposed stomach, and whose arm was an inch away from her thighs.
"Loads," he answered. Diamond Tiara shook lightly from his breath on her stomach.
"Now it's getting exciting," Pipsqueak said, grinning. "Left foot green."
Diamond Tiara cursed. She was forced to put all her weight onto left hand as she went from crouching to struggling to hold her weight. Her bottom descended onto Spike's arm, which disoriented her in more than one way. If she held on for a few more seconds, she might have won, as Spike's arm was struggling under her weight, but Diamond Tiara's strength failed her. Trembling, she fell onto her face, seething.
She rolled onto her back. "Need some help?" Spike asked, reaching out a hand.
Scowling, she smacked it away. "Get my skirt," she ordered.
Spike blinked. "Come again?"
"I lost the round, didn't I?" A light sheen of sweat covered her body. "Take off my skirt."
The green-haired youth blanched. "I—" he started, but his protest died in his mouth when Diamond Tiara fixed him with a stare. Quickly, he reached down, loosening the girl's skirt before pulling it off of her legs. He sighed upon seeing that her socks were actually leggings.
Tight, curve-hugging leggings, he noticed, swallowing silently. It was if he had suddenly gained tunnel vision, and the white-haired temptress was all that he could see. 
He felt himself hardening in his pants, and a quick glance downwards from the object of his newfound desire told him that Diamond Tiara had noticed as well.
She didn't look surprised or disgusted. If anything, her gaze turned smoky, eyes narrowing and lips pursing.
Shuddering, Spike said, "I forfeit."
Diamond Tiara frowned. "So do I," she said, to the shock and disappointment to the rest of the room.
"But you were just about to bang!" Pipsqueak cried, exasperated.
"No kidding," Scootaloo whistled, fanning herself. "That was heavy."
Apple Bloom muttered, "About time," crossing her arms and generally looking unsatisfied.
Silver Spoon looked from one bare-chested friend to the other. For once, she thought to herself, she wouldn't have minded watching from the sidelines.
Getting up from the mat, Diamond Tiara cleared her throat. 
Spike drifted to the edge of a couch, drawing his knees up as he sat against it, back to the furniture.
Smirking, Diamond followed him to the same couch, laying down on the cushions on her stomach. "Apple Bloom. Silver Spoon. Get in there." 
Apple Bloom wrinkled her nose. "I don't want to go yet."
"Too bad," the hostess said. "The house makes the rules."
Rolling her eyes, Apple Bloom made her way to the mat, opposite Silver Spoon. The other girl wore a simple blouse and pencil skirt.
Pipsqueak rolled the dial once more. "Left foot red, loves."
As the two girls moved to their respective spots, Diamond Tiara leaned her head down, until she was level with Spike's ear. "Hey," she whispered to him.
Spike started, surprised. He looked behind him. "Hey," he replied.
"You were hard," she stated, bluntly.
His eyes widened. "Come again?"
"When you took my skirt off. Your were hard for me." She narrowed her eyes at him, and a hand made its way to his waist, grasping at his lap. "You still are." Her dainty fingers thumbed his crotch as she tugged at his erection through his jeans. "I can take care of it for you."
Spike's eyes were as large as dinner plates. He struggled to find the words to respond.
"I can use my hands," she said. Her eyes held him, not allowing him to look anywhere else. "Do you want me to use my hands?" 
The young man remained silent, shaking at the girl's offer.
"I can use my mouth, if you're willing to return the favor," she said. Slowly, she pulled her finger into her mouth, sucking on the digit and letting his imagination do the rest.
"Or, I could sit on it." She folded her hands together over his chest. "Just say you have to go to the bathroom. I can be right up. We can be done before anyone notices." She wiggled her hips unconsciously. "What do you say?"
"I," he said, at a loss for words, "I can't. I don't know you that well."
"Then let's be friends," she said. She pinched his neck with her lips. "It doesn't have to be today," she whispered. "But I would kill to sit on you."
To that, Spike had no response.



Apple Bloom panted. Her shirt remained in place, but her jeans were gone, revealing her bright red boxers. She ignored the catcalls from her friends as best she could.
She hadn't been lying when she told Diamond Tiara of her confidence in her abilities, but Silver Spoon wasn't any slouch either. The taller girl had elected to keep her shirt as well, shedding her pencil skirt as her blouse draped over her hips. 
Apple Bloom wasn't into women, but even she had to admit that Silver Spoon looked damn sexy when her legs were on display.
Currently, Silver Spoon was positioned over Apple Bloom, her legs an inch from the farmer's hips. Apple Bloom herself was on her hands and knees, leg outstretched to the back of the mat.
"Oi, Diamond Tiara!" Pipsqueak called. "Can we get some popcorn for the show?"
"No," she called back, not bothering to look at him. "Shut up."
"Bummer," Rumble said, thoroughly enjoying the round between the two of them.
Silver Spoon leaned her head down to Apple Bloom. "Hey," she whispered, "are you..." she giggled, blushing, "I mean, you said you thought about fooling around with girls before, right?"
Apple Bloom stared at her, wary of the girl's proximity. "I cannot believe you."
"You're so pretty, though," Silver Spoon moaned, hugging her about the waist. "And your ass is amazing."
"I know it is without you having to tell me!" Apple Bloom barked. She flinched when Silver Spoon groped her forcefully on the rear. "Stop it!" she barked, her voice cracking.
"Oi!" Pipsqueak said, frowning, "your hand's supposed to be on red!"
"What if I just go down on her right here?" Silver Spoon asked, hands snaking under Apple Bloom's shorts and firmly gripping the toughened flesh of her rear.
"I will allow this!" Pipsqueak howled, nose bleeding as he clutched his beating heart. "Oh my actual fuck, do it!"
"You are not putting your tongue anywhere near me!" Apple Bloom yelled.
"Take one for the team, Apple Bloom!" Sweetie Belle yelled, cupping her hands to her mouth. "We won't judge you!"
"Are we even playing Twister anymore?" Rumble wondered.
"Beats me," Scootaloo shrugged.
Silver Spoon's hand clutched harder at Apple Bloom's rear, while another hand went for her chest—
"HEY!" Apple Bloom yelled, throwing the older girl off of her back. She got up and backpedaled, shrieking as she tripped over Silver Spoon's long legs. In seconds, Apple Bloom became a flailing pile of limbs with no sense of balance. 
"Crap," Spike spat. He struggled to gather himself in time to catch Apple Bloom, but he was too late. She tumbled into him, bowling the two of them over as they went to the floor. 
Sweetie Belle gasped. "Are you two alright?"
Diamond Tiara's eyes widened as, for the first time, she caught Apple Bloom in her current state of undress.
Like wildfire on a warm spring night, an idea formed. It was nefarious, it was naughty, and, to Diamond Tiara's utmost pleasure, it was easy.
"Come on, Apple Bloom," she said, grasping the disoriented girl by the arm. "Hey," she told the others, "I'm going to bring her up to my room to give her some care." She had to resist a smile at her choice of words. "I have some first aid stashed away."
The group nodded, frowning at the unfortunate change of events. Apple Bloom moaned, her body aching, but she made no attempt to disagree with her hostess.
"Help me carry her," she ordered Spike, who had just gotten back to his feet. He nodded, though he made sure not to touch Diamond Tiara. Her offer from before was still fresh in his mind.
Scootaloo snorted at Silver Spoon. "Nice going."
The girl frowned. "It's not as if I meant to make her fall."
Rumble crossed his arms. "I take it we're not playing anymore?"
Pipsqueak groaned. "I didn't even get to go yet. This is for the birds, I tell you."
Scootaloo eyed the mat, then Rumble. She snatched the dial from Pipsqueak.
"Excuse you, little boy," Pipsqueak said, frowning.
The skater ignored him, flicking the arrow. "Rumble," she said, getting the other boy's attention, "right hand red."
The boy shrugged, bending down and reaching for the spot. Scootaloo rolled again. "Left hand blue." He reached for the mat, only for Scootaloo to kick his hand out of the way. His palm rested on yellow.
"Hey!" he exclaimed.
"You missed. Strip."
"Yeah," he said, frowning at the girl, "because you made me miss."
Scootaloo straddled his hips from behind, her pelvis angled just above his buttocks.
"Rumble," she restated, "strip."
He relaxed as he caught on to his friend's plan. "Why don't you do the honors? I can't move much."
Scootaloo gave the nearest thing to a purr that she ever gave. "No, you can't," she confirmed. She pulled his shirt off, working it over his head and off over his hands.
"Holy shit," Silver Spoon said, eyes bulging. She elbowed a gaping Sweetie Belle, pointing at her camera. The girl understood, hoisting her camera to record.
Scootaloo leaned lower, dropping the dial on the mat as she flicked it once more. "Right hand green," she murmured.
Her hand slapped down on blue. "Darn," she said, and Rumble shuddered as her breath curled over his shoulders.
The skater took a single finger, grasping the hem of her orange shirt and hoisting it over her tanned skin. She smirked as she heard the gasps of her friends.
"I've been waiting all night for this," she whispered roughly, enjoying Rumble's shiver.
She pushed him down onto the mat, and Rumble sighed as her chest pressed into his back.
Rumble thanked the heavens that his friend hadn't worn a bra.



The simplicity, the bold-faced audacity of her little scheme amazed Diamond Tiara. She could feel the beginnings of a self-satisfied cackle in the deepest part of her chest, though she managed to subjugate the feeling.
The two managed to carry Apple Bloom up the steps, over a long flight of stairs. Finally, Diamond Tiara pried the door open, glad that she remembered to clean off the surface of her bed that morning.
This is too easy, she thought, watching as a still-shirtless Spike carried a moaning Apple Bloom to her four-poster bed.
"Everything's going to be alright, AB," Spike whispered to his friend. Apple Bloom nodded slowly, her eyes closed. He frowned. If she had a concussion, he'd have to take her to the hospital. Hardly a desirable prospect given the raging snowstorm that refused to let up. He looked at a clock on the wall, marking the ninth hour. She landed on a carpet, he confirmed, so she should be fine.
He did his best to ignore her hips.
"Hey, DT," he called, not turning around, "where's your first aid?"
"Oh."
Spike froze. 
"It's somewhere around here, I'm sure."
Her voice was sultry, to say the least. Filled with anticipation and something like lust, it retained the impression of iron will and determination that made Diamond Tiara who she was.
The door clicked, the lock sliding heavily into place.
She advanced not toward him, but toward a drawer near her dresser. "Grab her hand," she murmured. "We don't won't her to struggle so she hurts herself."
Wary, Spike did as he was told, securing Apple Bloom's rough hand. The redheaded girl sighed in her sleep, instinctively tightening her grasp.
Quick as thought, Diamond Tiara darted forward, and Spike realized, much too late, that the girl wasn't carrying first aid supplies.
Handcuffs.
She pinned their hands together, the chain rattling against the backboard as Spike tried to free himself. "You played me," he exclaimed, eyes wide in shock.
"I told you," she said, a hand on his hip, while another caressed Apple Bloom's thigh, "the house makes the rules."
She climbed onto the bed, smirking as she pulled the boxers from the dazed Apple Bloom's hips. She groaned as she pinched and pulled at the farmer's unadorned rear.
"And the house always wins."
> Howdy Neighbor
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Apple Bloom woke up half-naked and chained to a bed.
Regaining her senses, she shook herself fully awake. She writhed in place, overcome with the unsettling sensation of waking up in a bed that wasn't hers.
Sleep's languor gave way to a dull panic as she realized that no, the fabric beneath her was not her boxers, and yes, the feeling of utter bareness between her thighs meant that she was naked from the waist down.
Horror crept up in her throat as she remembered what happened. I hit my head on the carpet, then I was carried up the stairs to Diamond—
Revulsion filled her throat. What did she do to me?
As she looked around, she felt a pair of eyes on her from behind.
"You alright?" called a familiar voice.
Apple Bloom's heart dropped into her stomach. Not him, she prayed.
Turning her head, she saw Spike, shirt missing. 
The farmer started to hyperventilate as her frazzled mind tried to piece together what might have happened.
She was startled, then, when she heard light footsteps and the scratch of a record.
"What's going on?" she croaked, eyes widening.
"Diamond Tiara," Spike said, frowning. "She locked us in here."
"Locked?" For the first time, she felt the tug of metal on her right hand. She looked behind her. "Handcuffs?"
"You were out for a minute there," he muttered. "Whatever she's going to do, I'm guessing she's going to do it soon."
The song on the record started, western in tune.
Girl, you'll be a woman soon...
The tune picked up, filling the room with reverberating rhythm. Apple Bloom's vision focused as a pair of hips moved into her vision. The figure danced perfectly in time with the song, as if they had practiced for hours on end.
Diamond Tiara swayed without a partner, and the two of them couldn't help but stare as she flowed from one stance to another.
"I love this song," she said over the music. "Most people don't know this about me, but I'm really into spaghetti westerns, and this song just hits the spot every time."
She mouthed along with the lyrics, singing in time with the artist. "Soon," she said, shaking her hips and pointing accusingly at Spike, "you'll need a man."
Apple Bloom scowled. "What did you do to us, you little—"
"I didn't do anything," Diamond Tiara said, raising a hand and shaking her hips. "My dad and I watch a western every Wednesday night. I'd invite you over, but it's a bonding thing." She danced along for another moment, before snapping her fingers. "Oh! I lied. I did chain you to the bed and take your boxers off. Has your ass always been that big?"
The song slowed, as if growing ever more intimate, and Apple Bloom couldn't care less. "You little hussy! Wait till I get my hands on you, I'll wring your neck—"
"And there she is," Diamond Tiara laughed, relishing the look on the farmer's face. "You haven't been yourself all night. I love seeing your feathers ruffled." She twirled in a circle, mouthing the words 'take my hand' and gesturing at no one.
"I thought we were friends now," Apple Bloom said, feeling angry and betrayed, "but you're still just a heartless bully trying to get under my skin!"
"That," Diamond said, raising a finger, "is incorrect. At least, part of it is." She frowned as the song wound to its close, sashaying to the bed as the melancholic, romantic tones of a rustic life evaporated into thin air. "You know that I'm bi, right?"
Apple Bloom froze. "Is that what this is about?" she asked quietly.
"Don't get me wrong," Diamond Tiara said, raising her hands in her defense, "I'm not going to force myself on you or anything." She sat on the edge of the bed, crossing her legs and winking at Spike. He scowled at her. "But," she said, chewing her lips, "I do have a problem."
"Don't mind me, just sitting here in the buff," Apple Bloom muttered.
"See," Diamond said, "I'm horny. Really horny." Apple Bloom grimaced. "Like, my voice is so husky right now, I could pull a dog sleigh by singing. So, I'm going to offer you a choice." She smiled, to the point where her face became unnerving. "Either let me have some fun with you, or you can watch me ride your friend here."
Spike's eyes widened. Apple Bloom trembled. "I don't want this," she protested weakly, shifting her hips and not meeting the other girl's gaze.
Diamond Tiara stared at the younger girl, marveling at her body even as her hips trembled. "Then why are you wet?" she asked, lowly.
The farmer had no answer. She drew a hand to her face, clearly embarrassed. 
Before she could start crying of frustration, Diamond Tiara pulled up next to the girl. "You know what I think?" she asked, rubbing Apple Bloom's shoulder.
The other girl didn't react, only shaking lightly.
Diamond continued, "I think you're gorgeous. You're one of the prettiest girls I know." She rubbed the base of her friend's neck. "Have I ever told you that?"
Apple Bloom's breathing slowed as she calmed, until she was shaking her head in the negative. "No, you haven't."
"Well, obviously it's true," Diamond Tiara scoffed, combing her friend's hair with her fingers. "No one has hair like you. Your eyes are gorgeous, especially when you're angry. And as clumsy as he may have been about it, Spike was right about your freckles."
Spike squinted at her. "How was I clumsy?"
"Let me count your fuck-ups," she said, sitting up on the bed. She felt Apple Bloom turn her head to gaze at her. "Calling someone 'adorable' when they're a grown person is just a low-blow." She gestured to herself, "Me, I like to be told I'm sexy. Some women might not go for that, but it's better than making us feel like we're little girls." She scrunched her nose. "Unless they've got a daddy complex, anyway."
"Thanks for the lesson," he grumbled. "This isn't what I expected when I came here, you know," he said, tugging his part of the handcuffs for emphasis.
The young heiress raised an eyebrow. "I'd be worried if this exact situation was what you expected when you came here. But I digress." She hugged Apple Bloom's waist. "I wasn't really satisfied with your answer earlier."
Spike blinked. "Me? What answer?"
She scoffed. "Are you even paying attention? I meant your dare, genius." She rolled her eyes. "At least you have your looks."
The boy frowned. "I didn't want to be rude, actually. But given your psycho S&M tendencies, I don't think that counts for much with you."
"So what was it?" she asked, keeping him talking as she placed a hand between Apple Bloom's thighs. "What did you really like most about Apple Bloom's body?"
"He said I tasted good," she muttered, distracted.
Diamond Tiara blinked. "He did?" She turned to look at Spike. "You did?"
He nodded awkwardly.
"Well, that puts a spin on things," she said, grinning. "That was ballsy of you."
Spike shrugged. "She's my friend. I didn't want to make her feel uncomfortable."
Apple Bloom squirmed, frowning, but said nothing. Her breath picked up as Diamond's hand worked its way up her slicked thighs.
The heiress sighed. "Alright, how about this: pretend for a second that Apple Bloom here is a complete stranger who desperately wants to get laid." She smirked as the girl cried out in protest. "What's the first thing you suggest?"
The green-haired boy thought for a second, before answering, "I'd tell her to sit on my face and spin."
"Oh shit," Diamond Tiara giggled, slapping Apple Bloom on the bottom. 
"She's got nice hips," Spike said, shrugging. 
Apple Bloom's eyes widened. "I do?"
Spike nodded sheepishly. "I didn't want to seem rude."
For a moment, Apple Bloom was silent. A smile started to worm its way across her face.
"What about me?" Diamond Tiara asked, straddling a startled Apple Bloom about the waist. "You didn't really think my hair was my best feature, did you?"
Spike scoffed. "Of course not, but I barely know you. I couldn't say you had a great chest without coming off as a creep."
"Somehow," she said dryly, "I don't think I would have minded." She turned back to Apple Bloom. "Did you know he was hung?"
Apple Bloom's eyes widened. "I, uh, Sweetie Belle said he walked like he was, but I never..." she trailed off, her face reddening. 
Spike blinked. "What's hung?"
"Means you've got a cock the size of a horse's," Diamond Tiara said. "And you say you've never even masturbated before." She frowned at him. "You're a monster, that's what you are. Withholding a national treasure from the women of this town." She shook her head. "Bad form, Spike, bad form."
He rolled his eyes.
"Hey," Diamond Tiara said, shaking Apple Bloom lightly, "are you ready?"
Apple Bloom's gaze was intensely curious and longing, if not hesitant. Her eyes flicked over to Spike, before making contact with Diamond Tiara again.
The heiress frowned. No?
The farmer's plea was silent. Not yet, she begged, not like this.
Diamond's frown deepened, but she nodded.  Reaching into her bra, she pulled out a small key, warm to the touch. She waved it under Spike's nose. "Smell it. Smells like sunshine, doesn't it?" She unlocked the handcuffs, sighing internally as she pulled Spike's hand out of the trap.
She passed Apple Bloom her boxers. Quickly, she leaned down, whispering in the girl's ear: "You have my number. When you're ready, call me."
The younger girl swallowed, nodding. Somehow, Diamond Tiara knew she would be receiving a call before the week was out.
She hesitated for a moment, before adding, "You're not the only one crushing, you know."
Apple Bloom's eyes widened, and it took all of Diamond Tiara's willpower to stop her from losing her resolve then and there. Suppressing a moan, she got off of her friend. "Go back downstairs," she ordered, staring longingly as she felt the warmth of the young redhead's body leave the bed. She wasn't the first to sigh, however, as the farmer meandered awkwardly to the door. Spike eyed his friend, from the crest of her head, to the curve of her back, from her pear-shaped figure to her sculpted legs.
As Apple Bloom closed the door behind her, her bare feet padding on the stairs, Diamond Tiara sighed and got up. She rubbed her eyes. "I hate doing the right thing."
Spike snorted. "How was any of what you just did right?" He got up from the floor, rubbing his wrist to get his blood circulating again.
If Diamond Tiara heard him, she ignored him. She was conscious, however, of his footsteps behind her, and she knew he was planning on following Apple Bloom back down the steps.
Smoothly, as if the motions were practiced, she flicked the lock even as she reset the record player. The song began anew even as Spike barked his protest.
Diamond Tiara swept her hair over her shoulder, bending at the waist, wrenched her leggings down, and stepped neatly out of them. She knew instinctively that the young man behind her had stopped in his tracks, and was currently staring at her naked flesh.
Girl, the song crooned, accompanied by a wistful strum of the strings, you'll be a woman soon...
"You're not going anywhere," she murmured, eyes like coals raking over his figure. Ever graceful, Diamond Tiara wound like a snake onto the bed, lay on her back, supported by her elbows. and presented herself. 
Soon, you'll need a man.



No sooner had Apple Bloom descended downstairs than did she nearly dart back up the stairs again.
"What is wrong with you people?" she screamed, bewildered.
Scootaloo was bare-chested, sighing as Rumble massaged her neck. The skater's hair was sweaty as it matted to her forehead, barely touching the floor as she struggled to support herself on her hands and knees. Her toes clenched and unclenched, as yes, Apple Bloom realized belatedly, that the two of them were fucking on Diamond Tiara's living room carpet.
Sweetie Belle was lost in concentration, one hand vanished in her skirt while the other supported the still-running video camera. "Hey AB," she called out, then returned to her recording.
Silver Spoon, still devoid of a skirt, rested on the couch, glancing up every so often from a book after Scootaloo or Rumble made a particularly interesting sound.
And, true to form, Pipsqueak was raiding the kitchen. "'Ello, love," he called to Apple Bloom, holding a glass brimming with foam. "Fancy a Guinness for the show?"
"We were supposed to be watching a movie," she grumbled.
"Well, this is kind of a movie, if you squint," he said, swaying. "They sure are moving."
Apple Bloom stared at him sullenly. "You're drunk, aren't you?"
"Straight plastered," he confirmed. "The cool points are out the window, and I'm all twisted up in the game."
"What?"
Pipsqueak took another sip of his drink, swinging his hips as he disappeared down the corridor, singing. "...bang up the knackers and smack yer mum, all in the streets, it's six o bong..."



"I'm not doing it."
Spike stood in place, resolute. Except for every part of his body that was visibly shaking with anticipation.
He wanted very badly to pursue the girl on the bed, who was now completely naked.
Still, he had his morals to hang onto.
Diamond Tiara scoffed. "Why not?" She pulled a throw pillow from behind her, placing it under the crook of her back.
Spike winced, looking anywhere but at the attractive stranger on the bed. "I'm interested in someone else, and," he shuddered, "doing this wouldn't be right."
Diamond rolled her eyes. "Of course it wouldn't be right. I never said it was." She glanced at Spike. "Do you know how long my dad is going to be gone?"
He frowned, still not looking at her. "That doesn't matter."
She shook her head. "You say that, but the thing is," she said, arching her back and placing the key to the handcuffs underneath, "it does." She brandished the handcuffs.
"You're not trapping me again," he growled.
"You're right," she confirmed, falling back on the bed. "For the record, my dad won't actually be back until Tuesday. I haven't eaten anything since that donut from three hours ago, and we live alone."
Spike frowned. "What does that have to do with anything?"
"It means that unless you get the key," she said, looping the handcuffs through the bed frame, "I'm going to starve." She relished the look on Spike's face as she closed the handcuffs around her own wrists.
"What are you doing?" he asked, shocked.
"I'm giving you a choice," she said simply. "Get the key and unlock these handcuffs, or leave me here to starve." She shrugged, "Of course, you could send someone else up to do it, but it wouldn't work out so well."
Spike narrowed his eyes, but going by the look on his face, he knew she was right. "Why's that?" he asked anyway.
"Silver Spoon is a lesbian with the hots for me," she answered. "Or, at least, she's just now becoming interested in guys, but the point is the same. I'm fine staying friends with her, and I personally would never do anything to damage our lifelong relationship, but, well," she stared meaningfully at Spike, "she tends to get grabby when we're alone." Going on, she said, "Apple Bloom will be too embarrassed to talk to me for a while. Scootaloo would outright refuse, and I'm guessing the same with Sweetie Belle. Rumble might do the right thing, but seeing as how he's a little buzzed by this point, I'm betting he's not above some bad choices right now." She wrinkled her nose. "And if I know Pipsqueak, the little bastard's drunk out of his mind right now."
Spike stared at her. "I should walk out of here and let you starve."
"You should," she confirmed, "but you won't."
Spike inhaled deeply, frowning at the conniving woman in front of him.
Then, he sighed in defeat, as she knew he would.
He leaned forward, grasping under her back at the key, thoroughly unsurprised when her legs locked around his waist.
Slowly, he lowered his head to her breast, hearing her breath catch in her throat. His lips were mere centimeters above her nipple...
Spike pulled the throw pillow out from Diamond Tiara's back, smothering her briefly while he retrieved the key from under her and unlocked the handcuffs. He stuffed the contraption in his back pocket.
Leaping up from the bed, he dashed for the door, only to trip on the pile of clothes he neglected to watch out for.
"And there it is!" Diamond Tiara yelled, leaping up from the bed. She grabbed a container of lipstick off of her nightstand as she stalked to Spike, kicking him in the knee as he tried to scramble to his feet.
She wound up the lipstick, smearing it all across her mouth in a crude imitation of a clown's smile. "You just couldn't let me go, could you?" She stepped over him, grabbing him about the neck. "This is what happens when an unstoppable force, meets an immovable object."
Spike scrambled backwards to the door. "Woman, you are batshit insane."
"You truly are incorruptible, aren't you?" She grinned wildly at the wide-eyed look on Spike's face. "You won't fuck me, out of some misplaced sense of chastity, and I won't fuck you," she growled, "because you're just too fast." 
"What the actual fuck is wrong with you," Spike whispered.
Reaching out with her arms, Diamond Tiara affected a gesture requesting a hug. "I think you and I are destined to do this forever." She leaned forward, giving Spike a deep kiss, making sure to shake her head so as much lipstick rubbed onto his face as possible.
Spike reeled back in horror, crawling out of the room and ambling down the stairs.
Diamond Tiara watched him go, humming as she walked back to her dresser. She picked out a single large t-shirt that draped to her knees, donning it before making her way to the bathroom to wash her face off.
Any moment now...
"Diamond Tiara!" came a squeaky voice.
Sure enough, Sweetie Belle came racing up the stairs, furious. She looked around, eyes narrowing when she found a silhouette in the bathroom. She stalked up to the girl, fists curled. "What did I tell you about—"
She stared at her friend, whose face was still coated in red. "What's wrong with you?"
"Howdy neighbor," Diamond Tiara rumbled. She crept closer to Sweetie Belle, eyes dark and sparkling.
Sweetie Belle blanched, grasping frantically to the side for an item to defend herself with. Her hand brushed against a basket, and she yanked on the first thing in it. She frowned. A bottle of lotion.
"Listen," she said, voice shaky, "DT, listen. You are smashed. Those drinks you had from before crept up on you, and you are losing your fucking mind right now."
Diamond Tiara's voice lowered, "It rubs the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again."
"W-what?" Sweetie Belle squeaked, scared out of her mind. "What hose?"
"Put the fucking lotion in the basket!"



Scootaloo sighed.
She lay on her back, Rumble collapsed on top of her, the two of them drenched in sweat.
"This night is going great so far," she said, hands clasped behind her neck.
"You're telling me," said Rumble, content to lay his head on her chest and listen to her heartbeat.
Apple Bloom looked at the ceiling. "I hope those two are alright," she murmured, frowning. "I heard yelling."
"I'm never coming to another fucking party again," Spike said, arms crossed. His face was still smeared with lipstick. He looked to Silver Spoon. "Your friend went crazy, by the way. Started quoting The Dark Knight at me."
Silver Spoon blinked. "Who, Diamond Tiara? Yeah, she quotes movies when she's wasted."
"I love you gits," cried Pipsqueak, who had ambled back into the rooms. His eyes were red from weeping at nothing. "Even if your whole language is arse about face and you smell like fecking mutts."
Then he threw up on Rumble.
> Monday Broke My Heart
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sweetie Belle awoke when the sunlight hit her face.
The young girl turned in the sheets, yawning. Her eyes cracked open at the unfamiliar sensation of satin linens.
This isn't my bed, she thought to herself.
Her head ached as she rubbed it, and Sweetie Belle realized that she wasn't wearing underwear.
Her heart raced as she sat up in the bed. What did I do last night?
The sheets rustled next her, and Sweetie Belle realized that she wasn't alone.
"Hey," came a drowsy voice. A feminine arm draped across Sweetie's waist, pulling her closer to the center of the bed.
Her racing pulse returned to normal. Her partner wasn't who she would have preferred to wake up to, but it was better than waking up next to a stranger.
"Hey, DT."
Her friend bent over Sweetie's stomach, resting her head on her chest. "Do you remember last night?" she asked, tracing on the younger girl's stomach with her finger.
"Not really," she confessed.
"I was amazing," Diamond Tiara said, smirking. "I made good on my promise, you know."
Sweetie Belle raised an eyebrow. "What promise?"
Diamond pulled herself up to her friend's neck, planting a kiss on her cheek. "You crossed me, so I made a woman out of you."
She rolled her eyes. "It wasn't my first time, dumbo."
"It was your best time," Diamond said, smirking. "You were alright yourself."
"Excuse you," the other girl said, frowning. "Sweetie Belle always fucks like a champ."
A chuckle. "Sure thing, champ."
Sweetie Belle sighed as she sank back under the sheets. "We should party more often."
"We should," the heiress agreed. She frowned. "We may have to find another guy, though. I might have scared your friend off with my little episode last night."
Sighing, Sweetie Belle checked her phone and groaned. Three missed calls from Rarity. "I've got to go soon. I didn't tell Rarity I was spending the night."
"Wait."
The arm wrapped around Sweetie's waist, pulling her into a hug. Diamond Tiara looked sullenly at her friend. Then she sighed. "Guess it's true. I'm no good at a one-night stand."
Sweetie Belle frowned, touching the young woman on her shoulder. "I never said that, DT, I just have to go home—"
"But I still need love, cause I'm just a man," Diamond Tiara continued, her voice deepening.
Sweetie blinked. "What?"
"These nights never seem to go to plan," she warbled, straddling Sweetie Belle's waist. A manicured hand made its way to her face, caressing her cheek.
"Diamond Tiara, you colossal dork," Sweetie Belle laughed, trying to push her friend off, but to no avail.
"I don't want you to leave, will you hold my hand?"



Apple Bloom stood at the kitchen window, transfixed by what lay before her.
All hints of the freak snowstorm from last night had vanished, replaced instead of a pristine land of ice that resembled the inside of a snowglobe.
The farm was all but buried in it, and suddenly the young farmer was glad that they had managed to finish the harvest weeks ago.
She sighed. The mug of hot cider she had prepared early that morning had gone cold, she had been standing at the window so long.
After a time, she realized that Diamond Tiara had a balcony overlooking the town. She might even be able to see the farm from her bedroom window.
After a moment's contemplation, she laced up her shoes and plucked out her phone.
Going to town, she texted Applejack and Big Macintosh, both of whom were sleeping in on the weekend.



Scowling, the Mayor of Ponyville got out of her bed, yanking off her beige robe from the rack next to her bed. If that sound was what she thought it was, she had visitors.
Or one, in particular.
She picked up a comb to tame her hair into a somewhat respectable form, throwing it back onto the bed once she finished and donning her glasses and slippers.
Silently, she made her way to the kitchen, where the noise was coming from.
Inside, a filthy, pitch black youth was apparently mixing coconut water and Gatorade.
"Ello, love," he said, smiling. He grimaced as he braced himself to drink the mixture. His throat bulged as he took it, and gulped, finished. "Blimey, hangovers are the worst, but I'd almost suffer through it if it meant none of this muck."
The Mayor sighed. "Pipsqueak, how did you get into my house again?"
He grinned. "Keep telling you to clean your chimney, love. You never listen."
She blinked. "Is that why you're always dirty when you show up?" She held her nose, frowning. "And you didn't shower all night?"
"Oh, well," he said, "I didn't want to impose or anything."
The mayor stared at the black streaks going across her pristine carpet, as well as the drinks he had taken from the fridge. "Because you were doing such a fantastic job of that."
He only shrugged in response.
"Pipsqueak," she said sternly. "I won't press charges, but if you don't take a shower right now, I will force you to roll in the snow outside until you're clean."
He pouted, but complied. "Even as you say, love." He pointed behind himself, to a counter that doubled as a bar. "Made you breakfast."
She stared at him.
"Pipsqueak. That's just baked beans and a bottle of Absolut."
He scrunched his nose. "I know. Breakfast."
After the first three times, she stopped threatening to call the police. He never did anything but play tic-tac-toe by himself or sing carols. Sometimes she caught him crying, but they didn't talk about it. Messed up the novelty of their uncanny relationship.
She crossed her arms. "Shower. Now," she commanded, shaking her head in the direction of the bathroom. "After you're done, we can discuss how you're going to pay for my carpet."
Pipsqueak gaped. "I'm poor! I can't afford to pay for something like that!"
"Then get a job," she said, raising an eyebrow. "They should be hiring for seasonal workers by now anyway."
The youngster continued to pout. "I won't go back to playing an elf. You can't make me."
She snorted. "I'm the mayor, bitch. I do what I want."
Pipsqueak was silent for a moment, then said, "Say, where was your bathroom again?"
"Around the corner, to the—"
"Show me."
Frowning, the older woman led him to the spot of the house where her only bathroom was. She placed her hands on her hips. "Happy now?"
"You know," he said, not heeding the obviously rhetorical question, "you don't smell so fresh yourself."
The mayor's frown deepened. "Excuse me?"
"And I shower a long time," he admitted. "Hot water might run out by the time I'm gone."
The older woman's eyes bulged. "You are not suggesting what I think you're suggesting."
"Turned eighteen last month, love," he said. He held out his hand, proffering the bottle of vodka that he'd snatched from the kitchen counter.
The mayor stared at him, wondering what could've been running through that idiotic mind of his.
She grabbed the bottle from him, taking a swig and capping the top, throwing the bottle into a nearby basket of towels. "Fuck it, life's too short. Get in, before I change my mind," she grumbled, shrugging off her robe.
"Fantastic," said the thrilled young man, whipping off his clothes and tossing them in what he knew to be the dirty clothes hamper. He felt the mayor's eyes on him, the water washing off the grime off of his body, felt her presence as she finally stepped into the shower behind him. Her hands reached into his hair, scrubbing the dirt away, and he sighed. Her chest rested just above his shoulders, and her hand, moving in circles to rub out the filth, circled ever lower.
"I love this country," he murmured.



Apple Bloom killed the ignition on her truck, hearing and feeling the roar of her much-loved beat-up truck die down.
With anticipation like pinpricks on the back of her neck, she shuffled in her much-too-large coat, which hung to her waist.
Can't believe I'm doing this, she thought to herself, but the thought was unnecessary. She knew that she had made up her mind.
Gulping, she released the seat belt and hopped out of the pick up.
As she shambled through the snow, she panicked, realizing that she hadn't thought up anything to say to Diamond Tiara.
What could she say?
Last night was heavy, to put it lightly, and if Spike hadn't been in that room with her, Apple Bloom couldn't say for sure that she would've refused the other girl's advances.
All too soon, she was knocking at the door. She realized that she didn't have to go through with anything. Just run back to the truck, start the ignition, and pretend this little flight of fancy never happened. Diamond Tiara was probably asleep anyway. No one would ever know.
Just as she started to turn on her heel, the door opened.
Apple Bloom's eyes bulged. Sweetie Belle stood in the doorway, half-asleep and tragically under dressed.
The pale girl raised an eyebrow, but that was the extent of her expression. In all her trepidation, she had completely forgotten that her friend wasn't with the group that left that night. Apple Bloom had insisted on being the one to drive, having had the fewest amount of drinks and the highest resistance to alcohol.
Evidently, her friend wasn't too fond of her choice of actions.
"Hey," she said, leaning on the side of the door, arms crossed.
"H-hey, Sweetie Belle," Apple Bloom said, trying and failing for a smile. Her mind raced. There was no way she could just head up to Diamond Tiara's room and take the girl up on her offer, but neither could she just leave. "Rarity was worried about you," she said. For all she knew, she was telling the truth.
"Rarity's always worried," Sweetie Belle said bluntly. She held up her phone, displaying several missed calls from her sister.
"I'm here to pick you up," Apple Bloom tried.
"You're lying," the other girl said.
"Am not!" she lied. "I'm just surprised to see you dressed like that!"
"Back so soon?"
A feeling like ice-cold water washed down Apple Bloom's spine. She looked up on the balcony. "Hey, Diamond Tiara," she muttered.
"Why so shy, Apple Bloom?" the girl asked, strutting down the stairs. She wore lounge pants and a sports bra. "Don't tell me last night got you all flustered."
"She knows why I'm pissed at her," Sweetie Belle said, glaring. Apple Bloom shrunk under Sweetie Belle's gaze.
Diamond Tiara frowned. "I thought you said you enjoyed it."
"I did, eventually," Sweetie Belle said, still glaring. "I didn't enjoy getting ditched, though."
Diamond Tiara made an Ohhh face, nodding and closing her mouth.
Apple Bloom sighed, feeling her body shaking. Her stomach was violent, and she felt like she could throw up at any minute. She knew her next question would determine how the rest of her visit went. Finally, she asked shakily, "What can I do to make it up to you?" The tip of her shoe kicked against Diamond Tiara's doormat.
Sweetie Belle blinked slowly, before a smile started to come to her face. She sighed, hugging a surprised Apple Bloom around her waist. "You know I can never stay mad at you for long."
Apple Bloom shook into the embrace. "I really am sorry," she confessed. "I wasn't thinking straight last night."
"No one was thinking straight last night," Diamond Tiara said, crossing her arms. "Why are you here, again?"
The farmer opened her mouth to speak, freezing when she realized she had nothing to say. "I don't really know," she said.
Something in Diamond Tiara's face, the very set of her posture told her that the older girl didn't believe her.
Still, that didn't deter Apple Bloom. She turned to Sweetie Belle. "You ready to get out of here?"
Sweetie Belle blinked at her, smiling. "Oh," she said, "I don't remember saying you were off the hook."
Apple Bloom frowned. "Come again?"



"...blatant disregard for my authority!" Thunderlane roared.
"I said I was sorry," Rumble said, abashed. He held his arms behind his back. His face was red from embarrassment and anger, both having been caused by his brother.
"I have exactly one rule, Rumble, one rule. What is that rule?"
"Be home by ten," he answered.
"Guess what time you were home, Rumble?" Thunderlane asked from the kitchen.
"Twelve," he answered.
Scootaloo couldn't help but feel ashamed, between the two men. The two of them had crashed at Rumble's place for the night, as his house was closer than hers.
The skater had expected Thunderlane to be distraught at his brother's tardiness, but the bitching-out he was giving the two of them was legendary.
It didn't help that she couldn't be mad at Thunderlane, seeing as how he was clad in an apron and cooking the two of them breakfast.
"Give me one reason I should let you ever go to another party again," Thunderlane said, scowling as he drew a smiley face on Rumble's pancakes with syrup, just the way he liked it.
"How about I'm eighteen years old, and you're not my dad!" Rumble yelled.
"You have one time to play that card, buddy," Thunderlane growled. "My house, my rules."
"Mister Thunderlane, sir?" Scootaloo asked, raising her hand. The man stared at her, and she flinched. His parents were wise to name him Thunderlane: it looked as if a storm was going off in his eyes. "Sir, it's really my fault we were so late."
"I don't want you sticking up for—" he started.
"No, I mean it!" she interrupted. "It was me that came onto him, and that was the reason we were so late."
Thunderlane stopped. "'Came on to him?'"
Scootaloo nodded. "We fucked in my car a few times. That's why we got in so late."
Rumble looked horrified. "Scootaloo! That was supposed to be between the two of us!"
"Is that true?" Thunderlane barked.
The blue-haired boy looked fearfully at his brother, before looking down at the counter and shaking his head in the affirmative.
The older man worked his jaw, turning off the skillet without breaking eye contact. He seemed less angry.
He turned to Scootaloo. "Did you use protection?"
She shook her head. "His pullout game was too strong. I took one in the mouth."
Thunderlane sagged. Gathering himself up again, he managed a smile. "That's what I'm talking about, Rumble!" He punched the younger boy in the shoulder, ruffling his hair.
"Thanks?" Rumble said, smiling. Scootaloo bumped him in the side, grinning.
Thunderlane served the two of them their plates, acknowledging their thanks with a nod of the head while he stood behind the counter.
"Say grace, you fucking heathens," he said. "Rumble, God in heaven, cut up your pancakes. You don't want to choke."
"Yeah, yeah."
Scootaloo moaned in abject satisfaction. Rumble shook, nearly choking on his food. "This food is amazing. Did you make these pancakes from scratch?"
"Everything I make is," Thunderlane said, nodding.
"Hey, do you cook?" Scootaloo asked Rumble, nudging him.
"I'm learning," he admitted.
Thunderlane slapped his elbow. "Chew your food before you speak, jackass."



She couldn't believe those two!
Apple Bloom stomped through the town square, furious and nervous at the same time.
Their dare was simple in nature, though, it was daring.
As in, the exact opposite of what Apple Bloom would have preferred to do.
Still, Sweetie Belle had insisted that she was owed recompense, and damn if that girl wasn't persuasive.
Her target hadn't appeared yet. Sugar Cube Corner was run by the Cakes on weekends, to give the few employees they had some much needed time off. The market was bustling despite the weather, filled with people clad in various furs and sweaters.
The farmer felt conscious of her appearance, as if the whole town secretly knew of her mission and was silently judging her for it.
Finally, she spotted him.
He sat outside, wearing a fitting wool coat and a scarf. Somehow, she knew that Rarity had made both for him. He was laughing, and suddenly, Apple Bloom noticed that he wasn't alone.
A small orange-haired girl sat to his side, clad in a puffer coat and ear muffs. She laughed at everything he said, never letting go of his hand. A boy of similar stature sat next to her, rolling his eyes every so often as he worked at some electronic contraption in his hands.
Slowly, she realized that the two children were the Cake twins.
Great, she thought, just great.
While she was happy to see the two, it certainly didn't make her job any easier.
Sighing, she strode up to the table, waving once Spike caught sight of her. 
"Howdy," she said, hugging him and Pumpkin about the shoulder. "What's up?"
"We just got back from a movie!" Pumpkin shrieked. "It was amazing, wasn't it?" she asked Spike.
"Sure was," he said, grinning. "You haven't talked about anything else for the past few minutes." He turned to Apple Bloom. "Pull up a seat, AB."
She looked at the table. It was small, only suited for four. She blinked. She hadn't noticed the purse laying there, which was certainly too large for Pumpkin to be carrying around.
"Is there room?" she asked, uncertain.
"There's always room for you," he said, smiling. Getting up, he pulled Pumpkin out of her seat.
"Hey!" she yelled, indignant, only to be placated when Spike seated her on his knees. "Nevermind," she said giddily.
"Thanks," Apple Bloom murmured, sitting down in the cushioned metal seat. The dust of a blush crossed her face as she realized how the four of them would appear to an onlooker. 
The scene was too hallmark. Two adults, outside on a calm winter's day, joined by an aloof boy and a girl pining for attention. It crossed Apple Bloom's mind that, for all she knew, she might be in the exact same situation in a matter of years, perhaps as little as five.
She sighed. However pleasant, those were dangerous thoughts to be thinking.
"Apple Bloom?" Spike asked, worried. "You okay? You kind of blanked out there."
"I'm fine," she assured him, coming back to the present. "Just lost in thought."
Pound Cake snorted. "Women," he muttered, tapping away on his video game.
"By the way," she asked, "who's sitting here? I don't remember seeing that there purse before."
"It's mine," called a voice. Silver Spoon strutted up to the table, holding a carton of drinks and breakfast food. She smiled warmly at Apple Bloom. "Morning."
Apple Bloom returned her smile. "Morning, Spoon." At the back of her mind, the girl's uninhibited actions from last night rang forth, and she wondered if the girl regretted her actions.
Going by Silver Spoon's wink as she sat across from Apple Bloom, she doubted it.
She wore a deep gray women's pea coat that covered her entire torso. Her hands were wrapped in gloves, and a monochrome scarf lovingly wound about her neck. All that could be seen of her legs were flattering black stockings and snow boots with heels.
Silver Spoon frowned. "Sorry, I only got food for the four of us. Didn't know you were going to show."
"Oh, no, that's fine," Apple Bloom waved her concerns off. "I didn't know I was gonna show either, just came over when I saw these three."
"We caught Silver Spoon on our way out of the movie theater," Spike explained. "We were going to head over to the museum with the kids later." He smiled. "Do you want to come?"
Silver Spoon beamed. "I think that's a wonderful idea." She crossed her legs, laying back as she prepared her coffee.
"Sure thing," Apple Bloom said. Despite the wonderful way the morning was going, she felt the nervousness at what she was supposed to do gnaw at her stomach. Somehow, she knew Sweetie Belle would know if she failed her mission.
She started when Silver Spoon barked "Hello?" She realized that the older girl was speaking into her phone. She got up from the table, excusing herself.
Now or never, she thought to herself.
"Hey," she said, anxious, "can I ask you something?"
Spike blinked. "Sure thing. What is it?"
She was staring directly into his eyes now. "Lean in close." She jerked her head at Pumpkin, who was barking at her brother. "It's a secret."
Spike frowned, but complied. He leaned in close, ear turned toward her.
Relying on her audacity, Apple Bloom leaned in, grasping the boy by the chin, and sank her lips into his. It was a brief kiss, shallow but intense.  Apple Bloom's untrained tongue made a single pass into her partner's mouth, a darting motion, and she gave his lips a brief, shaky squeeze with her own before pulling back.
His eyes were searching and intense, so she leaned again, sharing his flinch. "You tasted good, too," she said, word for word as her friends had told her to say. Their commands were needless, though; had she gotten to this point on her own, she would have fired the words off freely.
Spike said nothing, only blinking rapidly and trying not to smile. His ears burned, and the infection of delight spread to his cheeks. "I—" he started to say, before a buzz seemed to run through him. He beamed, showing his teeth, before sighing and burying his face in the back of Pumpkin's coat. "You are so weird," he said, his voice muffled.
"I know," she murmured. This time, she made sure to commit his savor to memory, licking her lips.
"Ahem."
Apple Bloom blinked, turning her head. That voice sounded familiar. She froze when her eyes landed on them.
Applejack and Cheerilee sat at the table adjacent to them, quite amused.
Apple Bloom gaped. No.
The schoolteacher was trembling with restrained laughter and embarrassment for her pupil, while the farmer simply shook her head, head on fist, grinning.
"Got your text," she said, holding up her phone. She winked at her sister, her teeth showing in a Cheshire smile.
"Oh hayseeds," Apple Bloom groaned. "Celestia, take me now."
The two women erupted into laughter, shaking visibly. Apple Bloom wanted to die, anything to spare her the embarrassment and ribbing that was to come. Spike burrowed his face even further into Pumpkin's coat. "Oh my God," he groaned.
Silver Spoon came back to the table, pulling up her chair as she settled in. "What'd I miss?"


The End